#evil canadian tire

[canadian-tire-real]

Give oil.

—@truly-jcjenson

No, perish.

[canadian-tire-real]

If you dont support gay marriage, you will be stabbed.

If you support gay marriage reblog this. If you're on the homophobic side, keep scrolling.

As a bisexual, it sickens me that some people WILL keep scrolling.

[lumyl]

only sigma males will get this 💪💪💪💪💪

[thenightling]

So for those unaware of what just went down, a whistleblower has exposed that last year the American / Canadian / and UK comity of the Hugo Awards deliberately removed some nominations specifically because those nominations might offend the Chinese government.

The Hugo Awards (until now) were a very respected scifi / fantasy award. In years past Neil Gaiman had won Hugo awards for such things as The Sandman: Overture and other works.

However the nominations removed last year to avoid offending China included episode 6 of the Netflix adaptation of Neil Gaiman's The Sandman, likely because it showed Death taking souls to the afterlife. The Chinese government does not like Western depictions of the afterlife.

This has blown up into a very big and interesting scandal and now Neil Gaiman and The Sandman Netflix series are part of it.

I grew tired of Hollywood pandering to China years ago when I found out that's why so many horror reboots removed supernatural elements (i.e. the Child's Play remake turning Chucky into an evil AI robot doll instead of a possessed talking doll).

The Chinese market does not like western depictions of ghosts or the afterlife and this has lead to a steep decrease in high budget supernatural horror and why most horror is now made by smaller, low-budget divisions like Blumhouse.

Disney couldn't even put a Haunted Mansion in Hong Kong Disney. Instead it's "Mystic Manor" which isn't haunted at all but just "enchanted" with "living furniture." The popular excuse they give is that the Chinese culture has different views on ghosts than us. Bull. I've read plenty of scary Chinese ghost stories. And they don't mind western depictions of ghosts if they happen to be in Korean or Japanese animation.

[27moremoons]

Go on TikTok for 5 seconds and hear Canadian “leftists” doing lesser evil bullshit with Trudeau and Poilievre. Yap yap yap. Tired.

[canadian-tire-real]

*Joins you*

funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":

i'm going to kill god

i'm going to delete my blog

i'm going to explode

i'm going to blow up this entire website

i'm going to become the joker

this is going to be my villain origin story

i'm being so brave about it

fuck it we ball

god had to nerf me because i was too powerful

i'm too pretty for this

all according to plan

feel free to add on

[canadian-tire-real]

GET EVIL BOOPED!!

Show me your face and I'll do it right back.

[sugarmountainspring]

What the fuck do you mean you first heard that song in a nightmare

Yeah I had a nightmare when i was like 6 or 7 where some horrible imps circled around me and chanted a horrible melody until a hole opened up beneath me and swallowed me up. Later in my life I was at a Canadian Tire and over the loud speakers you'll never guess what I heard? Yup the evil demon baby song except this time performed by Paul McCartney and christmas-y. So I believe that song caries a great darkness.

[olderthannetfic]

It's always so funny when Western anime/manga fans complain about there being so many Western European inspired fantasy anime/manga popping up more often. I legit saw a whole conversation between people that amounted to "Ugh, I'm so tired of Generic Western fantasy. I like anime/manga because it's different. West European inspired everywhere, and it's boring." To you. It's boring to you (general 'you,' to be clear.) Honestly, from lurking in East Asian fandom spaces, it seems to me that they like European-inspired fantasy for the same reason they like anime and manga: it's different. I can understand an American or Canadian or someone in Western Europe not wanting something inspired by the Angevins, or the Plantagenets, or William the Conqueror, or the Sun King, or the Borgias, or Napoleon. Do they think all Japanese people want to read about Oda Nobunaga, Minamoto no Yoshitsune, the Meiji Restoration, the Date Sodo, the Sengoku Period, etc? Once again, I'm begging people (read: mostly Americans™) to think about the rest of the world and different perspectives. It's okay to just not like things sometimes or just be bored by concepts. We don't have to act like mangaka are evil, awful, no good White supremacists for making Western European inspired fantasies.

--

It's also really funny when people act like cultures are hermetically sealed boxes.

80s Japanese fantasy is full of shit that's just somebody's D&D campaign, possibly with Western heavy metal band names tacked on.

[canadian-tire-real]

Why would I listen to someone shorter than me lol.

GOOD NEWS! YOU ALL SUCCESSFULLY BROKE MY NOTIFS!! STOP BOOPING ME PLEASE 😭

[ofmdrareships]

OFMD Rare Ship Week has an amazing plot generator that's going to be dropping SUNDAY!!! It's going to be so much fun y'all, we can't wait to see what hilarious combinations you get 😂

Many thanks to our friend @ghostalservice for creating this generator for us!!

A few of the absolute bangers we got during testing as a teaser:

[ID copied from alt text:

Four images with text which read "Pirate plot generator" followed by text, and a button reading "Plot me matey."

In the afterlife the birds are flocking. A Time Lord Swede and a hapless Roach are feeling blushing in the Canadian wilderness. The vibe is complex.

2. In a hallmark town, the bar is bustling. An upset Izzy and a flippant Buttons are feeling shagadelic in a spaceship. The vibe is wet.

3. It turns out it's true after all: somebody needs help getting out of a Halloween costume. A tied-up Zheng and an enchanted Fang are wishing they didn't feel so angry in the post office. The vibe is alien.

4. At the top of the scaffolding, no one can tell Fang from their evil twin. A nerdy Evelyn and a damp Mary Allamby are expecting to feel so, so tired in the kitchen. The vibe is catty.

End ID.]

[queatherine]

td spoilers episodes 9-13 (long post; more in depth thoughts towards the end)

ep 9:

the dudes being there for priya awwwww that was so sweet !!

hey julia, is that car cool enough :)

sighhhhh mkulia

julia is that tiktok lumberjack lesbian,, i think shes canadian too

ep 10:

listen, i think we could all agree that the moment damien found that immunity idol way back when sealed his fate that he was NOT going to be a finalist,, so i wasnt surprised, just saddened

julia manipulation truly is everything i love evil women

ep 11:

MACARTHUR??!?!??!??!? truly not the cameo i expected, but i did not mind it!!

can we stop this annoying distrust arc between priya and caleb?

cant believe they killed off raj

so like,, did dinosaurs just never go extinct in the total drama universe??? is this one of the insane lore bits like 9/11 never happening (or happening some time after 2009???) 9/11 was the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs

CANT BELIEVE THEY VOTED OFF RAJ NOOOOOO IM WAYNE FRRR

ep 12:

me 🤝 priya afraid of lighting + thunder

OLD MAN TENNIS YAOI????!?!?!?! PULLED THEM OUT OF THEIR GRAVES FOR THIS CAMEO WOW

can we stop this annoying distrust arc between priya and caleb? pt2

i dont ship juliayne (juliayne shippers i do not hate you please do your thing i love you), but goddamn i want more interactions between theyre sooooo silly

ep 13: listen, i think wayne winning is fine. do i love himbos? yes. was i rooting for him in the finale? yes. in the grand scheme of things, do i think he is a good finalist? no. we can all agree that hes very much an owen, and i dont mind that!! i actually think having a fan favorite, comic relief, underdog third party winning makes sense in this season, because i dont think caleb or julia winning would be a satisfying end (especially how they were handling them by the end)

caleb's story was messy, and at the end of the day (and i know that the intentions changed), he did start his alliance with priya to use her. him winning, after all of the drama, after priya was gone, wouldve just idk felt shitty. he did get the girl in the end, which concludes his story better than him winning it. (if im comparing this to the tdi 2007 final three,, i guess hes the gwen)

as for julia, she had two seasons to be villain, and it was amazing. she is so good at what she does and she is such a joy to watch. and we all know how total drama handles its villains, they need to get their comeuppance. did bowie double cross her last season? yes. and she came back still was the main villain and was AMAZING at it. but she was still the villain for another 13 episodes, AND HER GETTING PRIYA OUT LAST EPISODE, she cant win. was her just desserts satisfying? meh. nice callback to heather (we all know julia is the heather of this comparison), though i can understand people who dont like this callback and think its tiring or something. they couldve done something else, but im not mad (i kinda fuck with the mullet). i just see no satisfying way for julia to win with how she was presented in these seasons: she was not world tour heather, with three full length seasons and a greater threat to overcome; she was island heather, and therefore could not win.

overall thoughts of the season:

im someone that thinks the hockey bros jokes nearly always land, so i enjoy the shit out of them (i think im in the majority?)

im someone that did not like priyaleb at first, grew to being more neutral about it, but still found it to be a bit tiring. i like priya, i like caleb, i dont like tiring romantic subplots, and it sucks that that was the entire thing for these characters this season

the julia mk duo was AMAZING, one of the highlights of this season and one that i never wouldve expected to be real. mkulia wins in my heart and i hope they start their podcast (JULIA WAS GOIGN TO USE THE MONEY TO START THE PODCAST WITH MK HOLY SHIT GIRL IS IN LOVE)

it sucks that certain characters really got nothing this season (millie, nichelle, emma, and even axel to an extent).. but i get that characters like millie and emma already had a lot of screentime last time and someone has to be an early boot (just realize the ones i listed off were all women,, damn the writers fr just hate women)

at the end of the day, i really enjoyed this season. and i think the most important part of that enjoyment was this was the first time i got to watch a season and have no idea what was going to unfold. i watched the first four season of total drama when they were airing, but i was a little kid with poor comprehension skills. the first three seasons aired before i knew how to read (i learned to read late). and with tdpi, rr, and tdi 2023, i watched them after the fact and knew who the winners were going in. this was the first season i watched were i truly did not know the winner, and that added to my enjoyment. not to mention this being the one and only time i was present in an online space to talk about show as the episodes dropped. this season was a bit messy here and there, but it delivered some great stuff. i found myself laughing out loud and just having a good time, which is all i need out of my silly little cartoon

[bronzetomatoes]

It's halfway through summer break for my fellow Canadians and I believe it's nearing the end for Americans? So here's my advice to all the summer shut-ins out there (aimed at high schoolers) on how to be more social, if you like, because that was me last year

Sometimes you don't get invited to anything, and that really sucks. Have you let anyone know you'd be interested in hanging out?

Making plans is not as daunting as it seems. Someone has to be that person who makes them, so it may as well be you

Your friends do want to see you, you need to reach out

Executive dysfunction, summer seasonal depression, and regular depression are evil and they kick your ass, but they kick your ass less when you're not lonely

"Do it scared" "do it bored" I'm very sorry to say but you also have to do it tired

It's very very easy to get back in The Pit, but baby steps work wonders. Next time someone goes grocery shopping, ask to go with them

Hanging out with people doesn't have to be high-effort planning, try going for a movie night or visiting a nearby playground, if you've got them

Going to the library, even by yourself, can work wonders

If you're able to have people over, hosting can feel much less daunting than visiting

Follow social media accounts for local community centers or universities, sometimes there are public activities going on. That way you don't have to do any of the work, just show up

Do things outside if you can (even/especially when you're by yourself, ex. reading or doing your nails) (wear sunscreen REGARDLESS of whether or not your burn)

Keep texting and DMing people regardless of plans to meet up in person, both for socialising and because it makes it easier/less awkward to pitch hangouts

If you have a public transit system, USE IT.

Genuinely I put off getting my license for so long (I turned 16 two years ago and I'm just now scheduling my road test) and its one of my biggest regrets

That's all for now but I'll probably add on!

[canadian-tire-real]

I doubt you'll actually do it but alright.

Dear captives.

Hello.

As you all know, I tend to keep people in my basement. Probably not the best thing to do as ive come to grow as a person. Really. I pledge to no longer keep people in my basement. Look, I know its a dick move i'm sorry.

From now on, I will free my captives and no longer hunt you down. Obviously, im not happy about this but I will try. Or like, do it less? Love Stupid green owl.

[demonbirdsforever]

Canadian Politics

I’m so tired of the people getting mad about our Prime Minister, over matters that they obviously don’t fully understand. Causing me to not know if he’s actually doing his job or if he’s terrible.

All Politicians have agendas. This is the one of the few things I can agree with.

Taxes. There are taxes that people don’t understand. The thing about these taxes that people can understand is this. The poor aren’t being taxed. The ones getting taxed are those with money. So those who own 2 or more homes, cottages, mansions, or farms. That money from that tax goes towards paying off our debt. The other tax is the Carbon Tax, and that is only for companies like grocery store products (Ketchup, Milk or Coffee beans). The poor little farmer that sells at a tiny stand or… farmers market. Aren’t being taxed. That tax is then being used to give to those who are on… ODSP (Ontario Disability Support), the elderly (the retired) and welfare.

Gun Safety Laws. Guys… we live in CANADA. Most of our country is wilderness. Gun Safety doesn’t mean NO guns. It means there’s laws on owning and using guns. It’s just most of our gun owners AREN’T the crazy nut jobs in the States. There calm HUNTERS who deal with Wild Animals like GRIZZLY BEARS.

The Military. Yes our Military is sexist. The problem? ALL Militaries across the WORLD are SEXIST. The only difference between us and them is that we’re actually doing something about it. They are just talking about it because they don’t want you asking questions about your own military.

Our Prime Minister takes Luxury Trips? No. Our Prime Minister is the PRIME MINISTER of CANADA! Which means… he has SECURITY. So when he goes on a trip to take a break from us and his 💩 Job (Let’s be honest here. Being the Leader of a Country is a 💩 Job) he needs to take a Security Detail with him, because again… He’s the PRIME MINISTER of CANADA.

I know exactly what’s going to happen when the Conservatives take the Prime Minister seat because my Provincial Leader is a CONSERVATIVE. He’s absolutely horrible as you know by my recent comment about the Science Centre. Which is just the very tip of the very huge iceberg. That is his stunts over the years. You can look it up yourself. It’s right there for everyone to see.

NOTE!!!: I’m absolutely NOT telling you who to vote for. NDP is just as bad in my eyes, but I’m BEGGING you when the time comes. PLEASE don’t let our Conservative Party have a Majority vote. Majority means we’re way more screwed than normally, because the other Parties can’t step in to stop them from doing something 💩. They aren’t the lesser of two evils guys. There just screw us in an entirely different way. You can vote for anybody else. Vote for our Joke Party for all I care. Just don’t put your entire faith into the Conservative Party. There’s a reason we didn’t vote for them for the last 15 years and we especially didn’t vote for them during Covid. Please.🥺🥺🥺

[jcjenson-official]

Jcjenson, 

I’m sorry that I insulted you and your robots.

I promise that I didn’t mean any of it, it was just for the bit.

Can we please be friends again?

Sincerely,

Canadian Tire (I'm not evil anymore)

(Ps do you know how to get dye out of hair? I may have made a mistake.)

Canadian Tire (I’m not evil anymore),

We can be business partners if that’s what you wish.

-JCJenson

(No. Good luck. -JCJenson representative Maggie)