#evil!willy kills people based on what they might possibly know which would put him at odds with seiros even if birdie gives his approval
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This "truth is more important than anything else" thing really pisses me off too. Of course we don't learn what happens to the surviving nabateans after Rhea's reveal at the end of claude's route, and we don't learnt what people might want to do to flayn, or to the sleeping macuil when they learn they can craft golden weapons from their remains
Yep!
I've watched a really... odd movie, once upon a time, where a Mother dies and tells her twins to search for two people their long-lost older brother and their father.
Things happen, and, iirc, the daughter says at one point usually 1+1 = 2, but in their case, 1+1 = 1 ; the son raging at their dead mother, asking why the fuck did she tell them to discover this truth.
What is more important, truth or peace?
Rhea picked "peace", and hid all of Gloucester's actions under the rug, even if it meant hiding her culture, her family and, well, herself for 1k years. Her "peace" breaks when, mostly, the "truth" she hid was distorted and used as a fuel to send a red emperor at her doorstep.
We do not see anyone picking "truth" and living with the consequences in the game - given how Fodlan's humans since to be cut out from the same material as Jugdral's humans, I don't think Flayn, even if she ends up being Queen of Faerghus or Queen of Almyra, is never going to be worried about some schmuck wanting to cut her arm to make a new zweilhander.
It started as a random thought/theory, but became a headcanon - as with everything regarding that guy - but I HC Wilhelm erased some clans, in his "conquer Fodlan" operation more willingly than others, instead of assimilating them in his Empire, if the clan, or anyone from that clan, knew how to "craft Golden Weapons".
It'd be a nice opposition to Rhea, who lies but still hopes, if a human discovers the Truth, she isn't going to be murdered because humans will stop seeing her as something to be looted (that priest in the Abyss Library certainly did) - even if the cons of her lies is to remove the tree hiding the forest, and acknowledge some people have super powers. Humans being Humans, they use this to discriminate and ruler over people they deem inferior.
Willy, the human (and Birdie!) would slaughter instead of lying, so technically they are not "hiding the truth", they are making sure no one knows it and lives long enough to share it. The Fatal Mistake (tm) would be Wilhelm himself, as his descendants were not trustworthy enough to know this secret, and they were used by Agarthans.
Honestly, I would have thought Ao3 might have had more fics about a post FE16 Fodlan where Hanneman (or someone else) built technologies and materials making Nabatean body parts obsolete, no one would need to slaughter them if you could buy a shiny toothpick at your local Walmart !
but it wasn't meant to be
#anon#replies#FE16#honestly it's depressing#that movie made me feel so bad like wtf#is it the wilhelm hour?#evil!willy kills people based on what they might possibly know which would put him at odds with seiros even if birdie gives his approval
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Thursday Thoughts: Yet Another Feminist Movie Test
The people of the internet (myself included) have a lot of fun playing around with the “Bechdel Test” – a simple formula created by lesbian comic artist Alison Bechdel to determine whether a film is worth seeing. This test asks the following three questions:
Are there at least two named female characters in the film?
Do they have a conversation with each other?
And is that conversation about something other than a man?
The Bechdel Test does a good job of illustrating several significant problems in mass media – the lack of named female characters, and the extremely limited range of plots, lifestyles, and character types that these female characters are given. It’s good for pointing out trends that fail to represent the diverse lives of women, and which specifically fail to appeal to lesbians and other wlw (women who like women).
But this little “test” on its own does not actually determine whether an individual film is “feminist.” It’s only three questions, after all.
Since the Bechdel Test took off in internet circles, many netizens have come up with their own media tests inspired by Bechdel’s comic. You can read about a lot of them here, but here are some of my favorites:
The Mako Mori Test: Is there at least one female character, who gets her own narrative arc, which is not about supporting a man’s story?
The Ellen Willis Test: Would this story’s depiction of these two characters still work if the genders of the characters were flipped?
The Topside Test: Does this film have more than one transgender character, who know each other, and who talk to each other about something other than a transition-related procedure?
Deggans’ Rule: Are there at least two people of color in this film, and is the film’s narrative not about race?
The Sexy Lamp Test: If you replaced the female character with a “sexy” lamp, would nothing change about the film?
Today I am adding my own test to the mix. Let’s call it the Want Test.
The Want Test is based on one question: Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?
Of course, this requires that there be a named female character in the movie. I’m taking that as a given. Most films do have one of those, these days. However, this test does not allow a filmmaker to simply point at the presence of a named female character and say that their work is done. This question asks about the relevance of this named female character. Does what she want actually matter to her world? If the answer is yes, give the film a checkmark. If the answer is no, give it a minus sign.
Note that she doesn’t necessarily need to get what she wants, but the movie world around her should react as though her wanting it means something. Villains have desires that drive plots, certainly, but that doesn’t mean that they should succeed. Additionally, many protagonists begin a movie believing that they want one thing and act upon that desire, but along the way figure out that something else is better for them. These stories are all important and I don’t want to bog this test down with the requirement that these characters get what they want, because getting what you want is not always a good thing.
Musicals tend to pass this test pretty easily, especially Disney Princess movie musicals. Cinderella of Cinderella wants to go to the ball – that matters to the plot. Tiana of The Princess and the Frog wants to open a restaurant – that matters to the plot. A main feature of a musical is the “I Want” song – the scene early on where the heroine has a solo about what she wants, setting up the plot of the story. Movies with an “I Want” song consistently get their checkmark from this test.
But this is me we’re talking about, and I’m not going to leave it this simple, now am I? Let’s add some more plusses and minuses to the test.
The titular character of Snow White gets two “I Want” songs (“I’m Wishing” and “Someday My Prince Will Come”). She wants to find love – and she gets it, too. She also spends a lot of time bossing the dwarves out of their slovenliness, for no apparent reason other than that she wants to. That’s enough for a checkmark.
But Snow White is not the only named female character whose wants matter to the plot. The Evil Queen (and yeah, I’m counting that as a name, because it’s how she’s consistently referred to in Disney media) wants to be the fairest of them all, and that want drives her to try to kill Snow White multiple times, launching the entire plot in the first place. If more than one named female characters have wants that drive the plot, then the film gets a check-plus.
However, Snow White does not do as well under this test as it possibly could. Snow and the Queen’s wants directly conflict with each other; they are enemies. Ultimately, for the story to conclude, what one of them wants needs to matter less than what the other woman wants. And that’s not ideal.
Let’s take a look instead at Frozen. Here we have two named female characters, Anna and Elsa, whose wants absolutely matter to the plot. Anna wants to connect with her sister and save Arendelle from the eternal winter, while Elsa wants to protect her sister (and save Arendelle from the eternal winter, but that’s secondary). Ultimately their wants converge, and they help each other get what they want, living happily ever after. If the named female characters help each other get what they want instead of fight against each other, then the film is upped to a check-double-plus.
Now here’s the disappointing side of this test. Sometimes a named female character wants something, and her wants matter – but her wants directly contrast with the wants of a male character. Perhaps she’s the villain who has locked the male character in a dungeon. Perhaps she’s a prospective love interest who doesn’t want to fall for the male character. In this case, while the female’s character’s wants matter, they only matter insofar as the male character is trying to change what she wants or to make sure she does not get what she wants. These films may depict a woman as having desires, but her desires are not actually important – they are an obstacle.
In Toy Story 2, Jessie wants Woody to come with her to the museum in Japan. Woody doesn’t want to go. The viewer does not want him to go. Her wants certainly matter to the world – Jessie’s backstory is arguably the saddest sequence in all of Pixar history, and she nearly sways Woody to her side – but her wants are an obstacle. The film’s triumphant moment is when Woody gets her to change what she wants and come be Andy’s toy instead. As a result, this film gets a check-minus. It passes – but not in a very positive way.
That got pretty wordy. Here is the tl;dr version of the Want Test:
Does what the named female character want matter to the plot?
Yes – checkmark
Yes, AND this is true of multiple named female characters – check-plus
AND these characters help each other get what they want – check-double-plus
Yes, BUT her wants are an obstacle to a male character’s goal – check-minus
No – minus
Now let’s look at some other movies and see how they fare against the Want Test:
Tangled – check-plus. It’s a musical movie with an “I Want” song, and Rapunzel’s desire to see the lanterns sure as heck matters. So does Mother Gothel’s desire to keep Rapunzel prisoner and stay young forever. They’re opponents, so it doesn’t get a double-plus, but it’s still an excellent film.
Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl – check! Elizabeth Swann is a force to be reckoned with, and the world around her recognizes it right from the start. Alas, she is the only one of her kind. There are other named female characters here, but what they want (to slap Jack) is only ever played for laughs.
Toy Story 1 – minus. Bo exists, but she might as well be a sexy lamp (which, you know, she is). Toy Story 4, on the other hand, earns a check-double-plus in the end. As I’ve written before, that film is entirely about a man learning to put his wants second to what the women around him want. Because of this, Toy Story 4 might even deserve a check-triple-plus.
The Social Network – check-minus. Barely. The film begins with Erica Albright getting fed up with fictional-Mark-Zuckerburg’s assholery and dumping him, which implies that she wants to be treated better. The film gets a check because this want is what sets off the entire plot, and Mark spends the rest of the film trying to impress her in one way or another, but since her wants are one hundred percent in opposition to Mark’s wants, it’s a check-minus.
Mad Max: Fury Road – check-double-plus, easily. This film is a group of women’s journey towards freedom. They don’t all make it there, but the fact that they want it and strive for it literally changes the world.
Ocean’s 8 – check-double-plus. If you need to ask why, then we didn’t watch the same film.
Up – check-plus! Surprised? The female presence in this film isn’t obvious at first glance. But there are two named female characters – Ellie and Kevin (yes, the bird counts, this is a world with sentient animals). While Ellie spends all but the first five minutes of the film deceased, the want that she establishes in those first five minutes – to travel with Carl to Paradise Falls – drives literally everything that Carl does in the film. Kevin just wants to live her life as a mama bird, feeding and protecting her babies, and those wants do matter, in sharp contrast to the wants of the villainous Charles Muntz.
Moana – double-check-plus! Moana, Grandma Tala, and Te Fiti’s wants all align. I can’t remember Moana’s mother’s name ever being said in the film itself (according to the credits her name is Sina), but she has a key moment early on of helping Moana get what she wants, even though that means giving up some of what Sina herself wants, and that’s noteworthy too.
Now here’s where the fun continues: you could also replace “female character” with a different minority! Does what the named Asian-American character want matter to the plot? Does what the named disabled character want matter to the plot? Does what the named transgender character want matter to the plot? So you’ve “inserted diversity” into your film – but what are you doing with it? It’s not enough for us to just be there. We need to matter, as people with desires and agency. We need to matter in films, because we matter in reality. And we haven’t mattered for long enough.
Let’s have a conversation! What other films pass - or fail! - the Want Test? What media tests do you like to apply to the films you watch? Reblog, reply, or retweet with your thoughts!
#feminism#film analysis#media representation#bechdel test#alison bechdel#thursday thoughts#nonfiction#disney#disney princesses#mako mori#snow white#frozen#toy story#toy story 4#toy story 2#tangled#pirates of the caribbean#the social network#mad max fury road#ocean's 8#up#moana
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AMYCUS CARROW is A DEATH EATER in the war, even though HIS official job is as A CURSE BREAKER & HIT MAN. the TWENTY SIX year old PUREBLOOD is known to be PATIENT and RESERVED but also VIOLENT and TWO FACED. some might label them as THE DEVIL IN DISGUISE. fc: ryan gosling
hey it’s lizzie back at it with being a fucking idiot ( aka i can’t write good, wholesome characters that are not james to save my life so even though i love mae... she gotta go :/ i’m sorry!!! ). so bringing back my favorite sociopath but... revamped 2 be darker because was inspired ♥ !!
ANTHEMS:
rail road track - willy moon // blood on my name - the brothers bright // shakin - willy moon // dogs of war - blues saraceno // feel it still - portugal the man.
full playlist: (x) pinterest boards: v1. v2.
BACKGROUND / FAMILY ( bound to change probably ):
Amycus Abigor Carrow is the first born child of the Carrow dynasty. His father named him after the prince of hell, in the hopes that his son would prove himself worthy of the name. Amycus would, but not in the way his father had hoped.
As a child, Amycus was very quiet. Mostly kept to himself and his sister. Never harmed a fly.
Amycus was the product of a loveless marriage, based on pureblood politics. His parents couldn’t stand each other, and were each other’s polar opposites. Amycus would later realize that they were doomed from the start.
child abuse tw:// Amycus’ father was a cold business man, and was not very interested in being a father to Amycus. He mostly made excuses to be as far away from the family life as possible.
So Amycus was left to his grandfather, a man that put great emphasis on pain ( believing it was the only way that Amycus would learn and become stronger ). Lessons were drilled in with corporal punishment, and the emotional and physical abuse he suffered at the hands of his father would eventually break him down into something colder and darker. Feelings were deemed weak, and had to be firmly repressed - which would leave behind a shell of a boy.
Gained a definite rebellious streak during his teenage years, and would do EVERYTHING and anything to fuck with his dad.
Eventually moved out, at the age of 15. Figured either he’d move out or kill his father, and settled on the former.
Remaining summers were spent living at the Hog’s Head Inn.
The Carrow family did not want to air their dirty laundry to the world, so they never formally denounced Amycus. Most other pureblood families know that they had a falling out though.
Alecto is his other half, and they come as a matching set. Without her, he feels incomplete, and she’s also the only person who truly knows him.
MAIN CHANGES FROM THE PREVIOUS AMYCUS’ TIMELINE:
Main thing probably is that he is more refined. More dangerous. Still pretty fucking dumb, but less rough around the edges. Also has more self control which is good for him!!!
Still a brickwall in terms of sharing (always so private), but way more polite? More controlled, less crude. Instead of just grunting in reply, homeboy might try to actually act like a human being. So definitively less gruff.
Also can’t just typecast him as ‘ hm this is probably a pretty bad dude ‘ when first meeting him anymore so that's kinda problematic :/ May cause some issues :/
AESTHETIC / VIBES:
old gramophones, blood stained polaroids, broken glasses, bleeding fists, standing in silence for hours, chipped teeth, unwavering loyalty, unhealed scars, getting home at the crack of dawn, red wine, long showers, god complexes, the color of the sunset, messy hair, blood soaked suits, always cheating death, a rebel just for kicks, half smiles, just beating and beating until the world stops, no conscience, half empty wine bottles, impersonal offices, a face that doesn’t quite match his demeanor.
HOGWARTS YEARS:
Was a hat stall between Slytherin and surprisingly enough, Hufflepuff. But his sister was sorted into Slytherin, and Amycus won’t go anywhere without his twin.
With the Slytherins, he found a new home, far away from his grandfather.
I would say that he is not exactly book smart, and he got pretty shit grades while at the school. The one subject where he really excelled was charms, but he also did all right in transfigurations and herbology.
Is more muscle than brains, most of the time tbh.
At the age of fifteen, Amycus stopped going back to his family home. He was becoming strong enough (from years of fighting) to challenge his father, and decided to just drop all contact. Today, he only sees his dad at the occasional pureblood party / event, where he ignores him.
torture tw :// Violence breeds violence, and the pain and suffering he had endured at home soon translated into him torturing fellow students.
Did not spend a lot of time in detention, despite all the fighting? Was that prick who got away with a lot because of his angel face. Eventually, teachers caught on though and Amycus got into his fair share of trouble as well ( most definitively became viewed as a Disturbed Child™ ).
During his time at the school, he earned some extra cash from doing odd jobs ( which mostly entailed torturing specific students per request ).
His electives at the school were: alchemy, care of magical creatures and divination. He was in no clubs at the school.
AFTER HOGWARTS:
Became a curse breaker soon after graduating.
First few years were spent abroad, working in tombs for Gringotts, recovering lost artifacts and breaking ancient curses.
Eventually, he made his way back home, and found work for the ministry. He works at the office for the removal of curses, jinxes and hexes, which is a subdivision of the improper use of magic office.
Unfortunately for him, this means that he has to work with a lot of other divisions. He hates it.
His day job as a curse breaker is sort of a disguise for what he considers to be his real job? He’s sort of a gun ( wand ) for hire, and will kill anyone who needs to be killed, for a price. Though the money really doesn’t matter all that much to him?
Most of his clients are members of the sacred 28, who always want SOMEONE dead.
Kind of just aligned himself with the Death Eaters because 1. they have a more violent agenda 2. his sister.
Amycus isn’t the most invested in the whole pureblood supremacy thing ( though he’d never admit that ), but overall likes Voldemort and what he stands for.
Definitively fears Voldemort, and is quite happy that he’s not directly reporting to him.
Amycus mainly works for the Death Eaters as an information gatherer, which basically is just a nicer way to say that he tortures people until they tell him whatever they know. He’s disturbingly good at it, and usually works together with his sister.
Currently living in a large townhouse in London, with Alecto.
AS A PERSON:
Doesn’t give a single fuck about anyone that isn’t himself or his sister.
NEUTRAL EVIL.
Doesn’t even have a moral compass, just does whatever is best for him. Has no interest in your righteous bullshit.
Looks a lot nicer than he is, which works to his advantage most of the time? Like he just looks like a nerdy, good dude. Couldn’t be further from the truth but... that’s besides the point. His face really doesn’t match the way he behaves.
Probably the most private person you’ll ever meet? He seldom reveals anything about himself, and when he does, it’s usually not true.
100% petty enough to lie about the smallest, most meaningless details.
SO self disciplined. Always in complete control, and it’s very hard to get a genuine reaction / rise out of him. Also so so so patient, and is happy to wait for whatever his current end game is.
Drinks and smokes heavily, but doesn’t personally think that he has a problem.
Mostly just a dumb asshole.
SO COLD.
Thrives off violence and is a total brute tbh.
Pretty good at hiding his death eater ties since he's... paranoid as FUCK. And also very private. Always wears a mask. But some people probably suspect... stuff anyways, if they've like. Spent longer than two hours with him. Listen if Amycus wasn't such a fucking asshole he probably could get away with it (/scooby doo villain voice). But then again, others will probably think he's just cold as shit.
Is a total demon, but looks like an angel. Helps a lot !!!
STYLE / FASHION / APPEARANCE:
This version of Amycus wears glasses, but fucking breaks them ALL THE TIME. The only thing keeping them together is magic.
Wears mostly suits for work ( bc he has to :/ ) but will wear those long black robes on his free time. Think a vampire cape, flying in the wind. That’s right, he really is THAT guy.
Will also wear stupid band tshirts a lot when not working.
Keeps his hair short.
Like 70% of his money is probably spent on buying new suits / robes / t shirts because he keeps either getting blood on them, or having them ripped to shreds in a fight.
Looks like he’s wearing the exact same shoes everyday but actually has like... 100 different pairs.
Eyes appear either blue or grey depending on the lighting.
Has some tattoos, and a half sleeve on his right arm, going from his shoulder down to his elbow.
CHARACTER INFLUENCES:
caleb haas ( quantico )- the snark. the assholery. the background. the black sheep.
clay haas ( quantico ) - just the right amount of polished. the style. the general aesthetic. the hair.
angelus ( btvs )- the disregard for human life. the darkness. the occasional brooding. the quips.
holden ford ( mindhunter ) - the scheming. the hidden ambition. the slyness. the resolution.
lucifer morningstar ( lucifer ) - the smile, the general vibe, the quips, the mannerisms, the darkness.
eric northman ( southern vampire mysteries ) - the confidence. the general dumbness. the stubbornness.
demon dean winchester ( supernatural ) - the occasional charm. the being an actual demon-ness. the blood lust. the bad jokes. the weakness for a pretty face.
wolverine ( x men ) - the violence. the moodiness. the hatred. the occasional gruff demeanor.
dexter morgan ( dexter ) - the serial killer vibe. the lust for blood. the violence. the loyalty to his sister. the sociopathy.
takeshi kovac ( altered carbon ) - the violence. the fucked up moral compass. the buried anger. the instinct to fight.
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SnK 100 Thoughts
“He has the power to wipe out the entire human race, and if we believe there's even a 1% chance that he is our enemy, we have to take it as an absolute certainty. And we have to destroy him.”
Look, if you design a character who agrees with Batman in Batman v Superman, you just sorta have to accept that bad things are going to happen to him.
Though, since we are talking about it...
Now, I’m not making any giant leaps here.
All I’m saying is that technically all Eldians have the name of their mother in common.
Which means Eren’s going to die, Reiner’s Batman, and Wonder Woman is still waiting for her musical cue. Also, War Hammer is Doomsday.
#spoilers
Obviously I missed out on calling Falco Robin, which is even more tragic due to where his life story looks to be taking him, but then we have to get down to assigning a Joker, and I guess Gabi’s a pretty easy Batgirl, but I have a chance here to keep one of these posts short, and I can’t do that if fanfiction is being written in the margin.
Also, I think someone would yell at me if I suggested Zeke for Wonder Woman (heislookingbackatabattlefieldheisdepartingsotheblockingisthereevenifthemoralcenterisn’t) so let’s just stop.
Okay, so the brief summary of this chapter is ding-dong, the witch is dead, only there’s some disagreement over whether it was a good witch or a bad witch. A similar disagreement is ongoing regarding the perpetrator.
Truthfully, the one thing that can be said is that the good or bad witch’s slippers are unlikely to be taken by the good or bad witch who slayed him. They won’t fit, and the good or bad witch murderer already has the most powerful magic in the land.
The briefer summary is that Willy Tybur continues to be terrible, only in such a way that it’s confused for nobility, and I am so very tired of Marley.
He’s willing to die for his belief that his people are irredeemable monsters that should be eradicated--but he’d still rather they not be, because life gives him the warm fuzzies, and maybe the people whose abuse his family’s been profiting off deserve warm fuzzies too.
The idea of a nobleman looking at the life of luxury he has at the cost of his own people, and choosing to make steps to change the world for the better, is not a bad one. Doing that despite a wholehearted belief in their inherent evil is actually very interesting. It’s one more bit of cognitive dissonance that allows Willy to feel guilt over what has been done to his people, even though he thinks the world would be better off without them, and doesn’t mind killing large numbers of them.
At his core, all he is is a man who wants to live in the world he’s been born into, and he’s willing to sacrifice that life for a better world.
Here’s the problem.
His version of a better world is blaming Paradis for everything so that everyone can run off holding hands to murder them all.
He’s willing to die to make that vision a reality.
He’s never met anyone on Paradis. He’s never tried to talk to anyone from Paradis. He’s used diplomacy with nations in the rest of the outside world to ease the horrific damage Marley being Marley has caused itself, but not once with Paradis.
When it comes to the island, murder is always the only solution.
Willy Tybur is the one Eldian with a position in the world that can make a real difference. He can get ambassadors to change their minds. Despite never taking advantage of it, he does have control over Marley. Under his direction, Marley might have avoided the mass series of war crimes that the rest of the world hates them for.
(not that we have any idea why that is)
He doesn’t go that route.
He determines that the best path to world peace is uniting the world to kill his ancestors’ scapegoat.
Martyrdom is not a thing you do because you’re too lazy to put effort into actual change.
It’s easy to look at what Eldians are capable of from birth and call them monsters. It’s easy to say that, obviously, they never should have existed. Even if you have that same blood, and want to be alive, it’s very, very easy to reach that conclusion.
What’s difficult is carving your place into a world that is predisposed to hate you. It takes time, and concentrated effort. It takes giving a damn about treating people decently.
Willy has the means to forge a peaceful, humane coexistence between Eldians and the rest of the world. Or at least the means to make that attempt.
He chooses to forge his peace in the blood of other Eldians. The fact that he’s willing to die for that outcome doesn’t magically turn it into a noble gesture. He’s strong enough to make a decision that will cost countless lives in a war based on nothing but fear and prejudice. And that would be after knowingly sacrificing people he thinks of as less worthy to a terrorist attack.
Ding-dong.
Speaking of, Eren’s response to Willy’s declaration isn’t exactly on the moral highground you’d appreciate from your protagonist, so that’s nice. His lunge is as horizontal as possible, but it would take authorial intervention to keep him from killing civilians when he goes after Willy.
The only way this doesn’t seem like a very bad idea is if Eren agrees with Willy’s decision.
...I want more of a warmup before looking at that too closely.
Elsewhere, Titans in pits.
Or not.
Zeke’s still the only one walking around free. Galliard and Pieck are out of whatever fight’s coming next.
None of that appears to be expected on the Marley side. It looks like they wanted their Warriors gathered when everyone went horribly wrong. Possibly to keep the level of wrongness to a minimum. How thoughtful.
It seems pretty fair to guess that Galliard and Pieck are the work of Eren’s friends, but Zeke and his fancy glasses that hide his eyeballs are a little harder to pin down. We get one shot of him, walking alone.
I’m willing to leave that for another month though, so to the other pit!
Falco being the Eren to Eren’s Reiner is painful. Here he had this thoughtful adult encouraging him all the way into committing treason. He was just being a good person, and Eren takes advantage of that.
And right after all of that hits, he gets to watch Mr. Braun self-destructing, and hears about dead friends and mothers.
Falco’s a good kid. Assuming that Reiner gets him out of this alive, he isn’t only going to take death and betrayals from this. He understands the toll of being a Warrior, and understands enough to hate that people are okay with Gabi selling her life to the role.
Eren looks right at him and says that the people inside the walls are the same as the people outside. I don’t know how well the doubt will stick, but if nothing else, I think there’s a good chance that Reiner won’t be able to keep up the lies about Paradis demons--to Falco, anyway.
Falco’s in this spot because he cares about people no one else sees. I don’t know how much of his path can be changed, given the decisions made this chapter, but I hope that the idea that everyone involved in this war is a person sticks with him.
Even though that will be infinitely more painful than just being a participant fighting off demons.
Oki doki, so.
Eren.
Eren has gone on a very educational journey of learning that people are people. Willy even helps him along by directly quoting something Eren says way back in Trost.
“Because... I was born into this world.”
They’ve all been born into this world, and they all want to live in it, freely.
Time to go attack that island!
Eren spends most of his time in the pit prying everything that went through Reiner’s head out of him. Not for the sake of condemning it. Just to hear the honest words of a man like him, who caused incredible pain in the name of saving the world.
Their whole talk is about their similar intentions and circumstances, and being understood. And finding forgiveness on a road that doesn’t deserve any.
“This whole time... it was painful for you, wasn’t it?”
“I think now... I understand that [...]
I was right. I’m... the same as you.”
So
Yeah, Eren brings down the house.
The final page is his hands extended in Titan form the same way Willy’s are when he makes his declaration.
Reciprocity. Yay.
There are a few concerning things here.
The murder’s pretty low on the list.
These would be the panels that earn Eren the kind of looks Reiner is the recipient of when he’s going through his identity trouble.
Eren, last seen back home speaking as his father and Eren Kruger, has supernaturally granted identity troubles, and not recalling death threats to the point of asking Reiner to ignore that they happened is... weird. Whether or not it means anything, who knows, but Eren’s general stability seems to be mimicking the style of someone who has recently done pot up to his magic handshake. There’s so much personal history involved that it makes sense that Eren’s the one mostly behind the wheel, but... yeah, I’ll stick with weird.
Adding to that is what he says during the magic handshake.
(the magic comes from friendship)
“I just keep moving forward. Until my enemies are destroyed.”
Once upon a time, Kruger explains to Grisha what the Attack Titan is all about.
“No matter the age, this Titan has always moved ahead, seeking freedom. It has fought on for freedom.”
Eren has altered the deal. Pray he doesn’t alter it any further.
No, but I’m not big on speculation. I like waiting to see what the next month brings instead. But I keep waiting for more on the individual Titans having sentience, and it’s hard not to wonder a little if Mr. Attack and Eren are experiencing some unnatural bleed-through.
I don’t know, some things just feel very odd.
Anyway, outside the tempting cracklands of detours, there’s a really uncomfortable prospect presented in this chapter that I would prefer being wrong about, but at the same time, hey, Eren’s causing destruction and murdering people, so clearly happy funtimes are over.
Eren smiles when Willy says he wants his audience to fight with him against Paradis. It is not full of happiness, exactly, but it is not the look you would expect from hearing that kind of statement. Some mix of acceptance and sadness, maybe?
There are a lot of people on Paradis who, if asked, would know the exact best moment to kill Willy that would encourage his message most efficiently.
Eren waits until Willy is done with his speech to kill him.
Willy’s just asked everyone he knows for helps against the island devils, and... Eren gives them one. Whatever destruction does or doesn’t follow, Willy’s message is heard in its entirety, and he’s killed by the enemy he asks for unity in facing.
If you want to limit his support, this is, by far, the worst way to do it.
So even though I can’t imagine why anyone would reach this conclusion, I have to wonder if Paradis agreed with Willy. If they agreed that a unified world could only come about through a common enemy and a martyr.
Thematically, I have all kinds of disagreements with that, but Eren couldn’t have fulfilled Willy’s plan any better if he’d been in the room listening to its design. At the end of a grand speech, a monster rushes out and kills the only one in the world brave enough to call all people to arms against this great threat.
It’s beautiful, and... very on the nose.
You could not pick a better time to attack.
...For Willy’s purposes.
Even if this wipes out a bunch of Marley military personnel, care has been taken to keep all of the Titans out of the way. The main force is secure and breathing. This is not an attack that will devastate; it will invigorate.
And I can’t shake the thought that someone on the Paradis side thought that that was the only hope the rest of the world’s Eldians had. And having said that... it’s hard not to wonder if that someone is Eren.
Staged martyrdom only works this smoothly if both sides have the script.
Or maybe Carla just raised Eren to believe that it’s rude to interrupt people.
I really don’t know how to feel about most of what happens here. This is another chapter that I’d like to think would be benefited by future ones.
Right now there’s just this ominous dread that makes it difficult to appreciate that I don’t have to read Willy talk anymore.
Nothing next month can’t fix, I’m sure.
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We all know that Mulder is insecure but Do you think scully has some serious security issue around Mulder too when it comes to having a romantic relationship with him?
In a word, yes.
Scully almost certainly has avoidant attachment issues.
She’d been brought up as a navy brat, never settling in one place for too long; never being able to establish a secure base with those outside her immediate family. As a child, she learnt that those close to her would at some point be ripped away and so the pain of that probably taught her to keep a safe distance from others.
She confesses as much in season 5′s Christmas Carol.
It isn’t just about how she would have repeatedly lost friendships and other significant relationships from moving around - it goes deeper than that. In season 7′s Orison, there is the poignant story Scully tells of how she realised that evil exists in the world when her Sunday School teacher was killed in his front yard. She was close to this man, and he was taken away too. She learnt very young that not just distance, but also death robs you of those you love.
Because she fears forming attachments to those outside of her immediate family, it places a far greater strain on the attachments she does allow for herself - namely the relationship she has with her father.
She idolises him and the romanticism of his naval career - he’s her hero. When re-watching Ghost in the Machine for my most recent analysis post, I noticed that when Scully was in bed, there was a book she had fallen asleep reading, and so I Googled it.
This book, “The Obstacle Course” by J.F. Freedman, is about a down and out boy who befriends a navy admiral who helps him to turn his life around by going to the Navy Academy. Hmm!
She really does live and breathe her father’s legacy - as she says herself in season 4′s Never Again…
So in the absence of others, all her emotional needs were channelled into her relationship with her father. He became her entire world. He was incredibly proud of her becoming a doctor, and so when she jacked a medical career in, to join the FBI, she could never fully reconcile the crushing feeling she had disappointed the one person she desperately craved the approval of.
She says to Ed Jerse in Never Again, that she craves the approval of controlling, authority figures because they are proxies of her father. This need has haunted her, because she never got the approval she needed from him when joining the FBI. It’s no wonder she ended up in several relationships with older, authoritative men, from whom she also sought this same approval. As she admits Ed and to herself - her life has run in a circle of constantly seeking out and then rebelling against “other fathers”.
First (that we know of) was Daniel Waterston - one of her teachers in medical school. She has an affair with him that, interestingly, she ended once she decided to join the FBI and he voiced his vehement disapproval, just like her father did.
The next relationship she finds herself in is with her FBI instructor. Jack Willis. Another older man in a position of authority; a teacher who she could gain the approval of to fuel this need for validation and fatherly love.
It’s worth pointing out that the fact these men are her teachers is quite interesting too. A “teacher” is an embodiment of childhood authority, a figure that we are actively encouraged to seek the approval of - they are much like surrogate parents - surrogate fathers.
Never Again is an interesting episode, because it reveals a lot about how Scully might view Mulder. Does she see him as another controlling, authority figure in her life? I’d say… in the end… no. Haha… wait, wait!
We have to remember that Never Again occurs immediately after Leonard Betts and right before Memento Mori. It’s not known if she had her cancer diagnosis at this point, but I’d say that she is going through a huge emotional crisis in Never Again. I’d say, at the very least, she suspects her illness and is in the process of being tested. Whether she has the confirmed diagnosis or not, she is having to face the possibility she may have a terminal illness and so she is in the process of examining herself, her life, and her priorities.
She’s noticed this pattern in her life, and seen the damage it has done to her, and is now seemingly resentful - her time to rebel has come around again. She feels her life is standing still, and is rebelling against the figure she feels is, at least in part, responsible for that - Mulder.
During Never Again, she is examining her relationship with Mulder and finding herself irritated to the extreme when she observes any overlap in Mulder’s behaviour with the “other fathers” she later mentions to Ed. The controlling, authority figure who she desperately seeks the attention and approval of.
There are definitely echos of that, she has moments of needing Mulder’s approval, and there are definitely times when she is threatened by women who take his attention away from her. But I don’t think that’s how she sees Mulder overall. If she did, then why would she stick around? If Mulder was simply another proxy for her father, then she would do what she has always done when coming to this conclusion about the men in her life - which is end the relationship. Like she did with both Daniel and Jack.
But she doesn’t… why?
If Scully was ever going to decide that her relationship with Mulder was actually toxic and damaging to her and so leave him, this would have been it - facing terminal illness and realising he’s a controlling asshole. But she doesn’t… so she must come to some other conclusion regarding the tension between her and Mulder.
Which, personally, I think is something she’s probably felt for some time, but is only forced to acknowledge it when Diana Fowley shows up to - once again - take Mulder’s attention away from her. But this time it’s different - this time I think she can no longer avoid the fact that this tension between them is caused by the fact that she is in love with Mulder.
So, with all of this, it’s clear to see that Scully has a lot of personal demons which are going to be haunting her surrounding any kind of romantic relationship.
She trusts Mulder like no other and he has become a huge focus in her life. The idea of changing the nature of that relationship is going to be incredibly scary for her. Not only because she’s realised her feelings for him are not based on a need for a father surrogate, but something deeper that she’s never had with a man before, but also because she has this deeply ingrained belief that getting closer to him means she will lose him. That it won’t last. That, sooner or later, distance or death will take him from her. Risking that kind of pain is terrifying.
The tragedy is that pretty soon after she does initiate a romantic relationship with him (assuming that’s what happens off screen in All Things) she does lose him, first through distance in their separation, and then to death. Her worst nightmare come to life.
So Scully never gets closer, never overstep the mark - Mulder has to be the one to make the first move (Fight the Future). Occasionally letting it slip that she is attracted to him is about all she ever allows herself.
Even after they are together, you can see some of this stuff is still there for Scully. Fast forward all the way to I Want To Believe and you can see some of her defences still at work. She tries to end her relationship with Mulder before getting hurt - she’s protecting herself from the pain of losing him to his re-awakened passion for hunting the paranormal - by leaving him first.
So yes, in my opinion, Scully has a lot of security issues around having a relationship with Mulder. I hope that answers your question, Anon!
I would also like to add, that this is all my interpretation of things that may well be totally off the mark. I had been concerned about this previously, but it was brought to my attention more recently from some feedback I got, that a lot of what I say I might inadvertently present as some great revelation, but it’s actually all old hat that most people know already. So, apologies if it comes across like that. I am just putting it together in the way I know how, and I hope you all understand that this is only my interpretation of things, and that many others may have laid this out already and perhaps far more coherently than I. I don’t want this to seem like I claim any of my thoughts on the show as fact or canon.
Cheers.
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12x20 watching notes
reblog if AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
expectations: it's Yockey. Despite that, wee bit nervous he'll kill off one of the twins or their mom in a kill your darlings move since they're his original characters and they're MotW level people even if they're reoccurring - obvious character mirrors will be obvious, and also the show is having a pretty horrendous time of killing off PoC even for their usual standards. Which, I suppose, is kind of good they're having a few more roles but it's still like... that vet from 12x01 is still alive, and the witch twins and their mom, for now...
Still there's 3 of them, so I'm hoping at least 2 make it out the episode.
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also just gonna assume since we know nothing that the BMoL are behind it. Kinda terrified Mary is gonna be the MotW and she has no idea what she's doing, but she's emotionally tied to Asa and his family, is in this episode, and so far hasn't really stepped over any of the show's personal moral lines. Killing a "monster" who is actually a friendly witch/the mother of Asa's children/one OF Asa's children since she's attended a party with them and all, will be a good sort of thing to use to give her current trauma and something for them to use in their arguments about her actions. It also looked pretty clearly like Ketch turns on her/she turns on Ketch and if this happens it would be a good motivation for her to do it - we would EXPECT from what we've seen that Ketch would just immediately try to kill her, because he's been told to, but he seems to be thinking hard about her, and at the very least feeling like her recruitment is at least halfway successful even if she had a ridiculous idea she could do this and still hang out with her own sons - he may at least give her a chance/choice, so the unexpected while it seems he may be the threat and has immediate orders to eliminate the Winchesters, is that Mary lashes out first... Who even knows.
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Anyway that's the model of the episode I've constructed from spoilers, and I'm not wedded to it all, it just seems to make sense to me with what we see so far... And of course, the only way to know more is to watch, but this is where I'm coming from :P
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Recap! Dad's on a hunting trip - immediately back to the start, making me wish this is a backdoor pilot and the dynamic is the witch twins looking for their mom in a mirror to 1x01. Since it's Dabb era, maybe penance for Bloodlines. Look, I would understand if Dabb burned everything he could find that proved he wrote that episode, but on the other hand maybe he does have room to be contrite about it in the text of the show :P
Then an implication they hunt witches, a lore recap that witches can be evil/get their power from demons, and the Max and Alicia recap that they're witches that hunt.
Onto the BMoL, reminder of a bug, reminder that Ketch is jealous of Sam's shiny hair...
Caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
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This is a nice looking house.
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Heee smart car.
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Okay I like the mom just because she drives one. She's a Smart Witch.
... Then she gets Old White Ladied and witchy bitches at her. Okay I love her now. I hope Old White Lady is the bad guy. She's doing something with yarn, which is not the promised twine from the title, but very possibly is creating a yarn/twine sort of dichotomy for some reason.
Awww Tasha has the twins as her lock screen. "All good?" Alicia asks. Tasha is too busy doing witchy things to answer.
Tentatively assigning her as a Dean mirror since he was the one keeping in contact with Mary at the start of the season, and Max did have a thing for Sam in 12x06, and we should probably just apply the destiel principle that crushes mirror each other.
PURPLE EYES.
I love Tasha even more. I think witchy magic has been coded purple a while - Rowena and Crowley both used stuff with purple effects. Possibly it happened more in witchy Buckleming episodes I didn't pay a whole lot of attention to.
Reminds me the Old White Lady had a purple ring that Tasha commented on.
Randomly a creepy doll in the background. Nephilim-related imagery, because creepy babies, or just a general comment that dolls are creepy. Of course, brings back 2x11 with that hotel, the creepy dolls, and all related issues (Sam having the freak out that he's a monster, can't save anyone, and Dean has to kill him if it comes to that - also unrelated, the "why does everyone assume we're gay" thing - both Tasha and Dean were judged as soon as they walked into the hotels, Dean for being gay, her for being black) which I'll have to remember to stow away the reference to talk about if they are relevant later...
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Her pendulum leads her to a basement with the sort of door that looks a LOT like the one most significantly used to keep Sam captive at the start of the season. The fact it reeks is used to show it's evil - you can see the silhouette of witchy herbs hanging from the rafters, but we don't get a good look around.
Also ARGH I got attached and now I hate everything. Poor Tasha >.>
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I mean I kind of figured something horrible happening to her would be the cold open but that was unexpectedly more horrible and harsh than I imagined :<
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At least the knife was all rusty and gross so probably not a slick BMoL kill.
I suppose the Mary stuff maybe be happening off in a bubble then.
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This is why you don't marry your speculation :P
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Okay so there was stuff I didn't say last night but wanted to about the scene opening with Dean's hands after the title card. I thought it might be the opening but I wasn't totally sure, and if they used it as a reaction shot that would have been even worse in a way. But we start with Dean wringing his hands, or nervously self-soothing by stroking the knuckles of one hand with the other... We leap right into the middle of a conversation with him and Sam about what Cas did, and Dean's hurt but defending Cas as not being Cas and his decisions being, well, exactly as we all said. Manipulated because the complete turn around on his faith and idea of the nephilim is just too much to credit for being Cas. Dean heard Cas say he has faith and if ANYONE knows how Cas feels about faith, it's Dean, because over 5x16/17 but all of season 5 up to that point in a way as well, they dealt with a joint storyline about faith, and had it shattered together in 5x16, before the conversation in 5x17 about their fathers which is the key Destiel scene in season 5, really.
And it starts with this:
and now we have
And of course this shattering was because of what Joshua said - who is now dead and aside from serving as an example of not marrying your speculation because this is season 12 and Dabb's steering the ship like Willy Wonka taking us into the chocolate river tunnel on the candy boat, he is representative of ALL this stuff about faith that happened with Cas and formed his whole arc, to the point of cold shouldering God at the end of the universe, to repeat myself from doing this last week. Now Dean is mirroring this exact position Cas sat in, which I have to feel serves as a tie back to that moment, if only to show it's part of this story - that Cas had that moment, that Dean witnessed it, bonded with him, tied their lives together over it, and it was a human moment for the both of them in the middle of all the epic apocalypse level shit. Lucifer and armageddon is too much to handle, but absent fathers? Dean knows how to be sympathetic about that :P And so he's got that human moment tying him to Cas's faith arc, which has not substantially changed since it broke back in season 5, except that he's explored his hopelessness and lack of faith from a whole lot of different angles, from trying to be god, to being a human sitting in a church questioning, or trying to pray and feeling disconnected and miserable about it, to refusing to engage with God when he returned.
And for Dean in this moment, mirroring to all that aside, shows how deeply he's involved in Cas's side of this argument that he's not able to represent himself so Dean will speak for him, Dean's feeling hurt and miserable and needing to self soothe. Like 12x18 opening on Cas's answerphone and Dean worrying about him, the first thing on screen is an emotional close up of Dean's hands, his reaction to what Cas did, and basically Destiel immediately into your eyeballs on the word "go". This close up without words really says EVERYTHING about Dean's position in this conversation...
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Sam, meanwhile, does NOT want to comment, and the camera switching to his face, shows he's conflicted, miserable, and what Dean is saying is deeply troubling him. He doesn't have a profound bond whatever that's supposed to be with Cas (to dip into his POV for a sec :P) but he is troubled by what Dean is saying. Whether he thinks Dean is putting too much faith in Cas after being screwed over AGAIN and he feels Dean is just going to get hurt and he's making excuses for Cas that go too far, or he got a totally different read of it and feels like he KNOWS Cas has committed to this path and troubling as it is, this is the wrong way to talk about it...
Point is, Sam and Dean have two different perspectives on what's happened, and as usual Dean is powering ahead leading by emotion and also gut instinct and a close understanding of Cas... Sam is being neutral and objective - prepare for the worst, what if Cas really has turned on us, we don't know how he thinks, maybe Lucifer jr really is that persuasive, etc. He says it doesn't make any sense but that means he's NOT wedded to Dean's reading of the situation.
He says they have to think of what Cas might do/think, to try and predict his actions, feeling like there might be a reasonable reading of what is to come and they can base it on past experience of Cas, and they can make a kind of... plot speculation... on what Cas might do next.
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Dean however is convinced that Cas is not Cas, and therefore lost to them in the sense of using Cas as a measure to predict his next actions; literally lost to them that it's not Cas in there, but also lost in the sense they can't find him.
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Sam deflects to look at their poor melted gun.
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Alicia interrupts them with a buzzing phone - they locate one that is presumably Mary's and seems to confirm the Bunker just endlessly charges their phones for them theory, because even with phones bought specifically for great snoozing battery life, when was the last time they saw Mary and how long has that phone been there
I mean this must imply they see her more often than we have seen them interact, and that months have been going by, but they have been out of contact a looong time per the show. This works like the mixtape moment to show that they have more interaction than we know about, but in a harmless, non-romantic way where it just shows she's been in and around the Bunker lately. She won't know it's bugged because that's info the BMoL'd keep from her, but they made a sort of truce after 12x14 and I don't think have interacted since. She hasn't been shown in the Bunker since she left after 12x13/14's argument.
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Witch twins!
("Like Max and Alicia?" - Dean knows everyone. I mean yeah he met them but Sam's weird about knowing people or remembering the people they encountered - more of the tiny bit of characterisation where Dean remembers all the hunters and so on that pass through their lives with very little prompting, or can guess something like Claire hanging around working the same case when Sam doesn't. At this point, basically ready to call it a parallel to Cas knowing every angel by their name and face instantly.)
Alicia is weird about Sam answering in a very awkward way that sounds like me on the phone, like, these are the exact noises and tones I make when trying to deal with someone calling/answering I did not expect :P I love her.
Alicia thought that Mary might help - and omg yes. A "we" - "nnuhuh" - "okay I" correction. Yeah, we had one where Dean corrected Sam for saying "we" were happy to have Cas back, but then he "we"'d Cas all the way through the rest of the episode to avoid love confessions, so maybe that got a bit lost or maybe we need a reminder of his hypocrisy about hiding behind that. Max will not let Alicia talk for him. Is Max a good Sam mirror for giving us the "oi don't involve me in this" we needed shouted from off-screen last episode?
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Max thinks Tasha is fine, Alicia is freaking out. Aside from involving someone else in all this, the 1x01 parallels would make her Dean and Max Sam as Sam was initially sceptical and Dean was already freaking out before we even met him as an adult, and had come to get Sam specifically for that.
Aaaand then Max says she's being dramatic, and mom's fine, because he's the Sam-est Sam mirror to ever Sam right now, literally using Sam's lines about mom being fine and telling Dean he's dramatic, while Alicia freaks out about their mom.
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Dean's like what the hell what about Cas immediately, which now tops some of those season 11 MotW openings where Sam had to wheedle him out of the house and away from researching how to save Cas, to be the no 1 "Dean worried about Cas he's not in this episode but we're gonna have to leave the house for plot formula reasons so this is how we justify it" moment.
I would like to take a moment to remember that some people think that Dean doesn't care about Cas or that the show isn't about Dean liking Cas when we've now had two seasons on the trot where this is the formula for the last half of the season
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Anyway they got Jody to help, which means she knows about the mytharc. Woah. Possibly the first time they've ever told her off screen and before she got embroiled in it herself or caught them dealing with the fallout of it :P They really try to protect her from the big stuff, but... Maybe Dean should take her up on the repeated offer to talk if he needs it. Happens so often in episodes by so many different writers that's clearly a Thing that the writers in general are working on including.
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Today on direct callbacks to previous things they have said on the show: Sam demonstrates that deep down he's still traumatised by 1x01 to the point of remembering the exact phrasing Dean used to get him out of the house.
Interesting use of it because it's Sam wheedling Dean to get out of the house using someone else's scenario that happens to be the same one that Dean used to get Sam to go with him. I'm thinking of their duty to the next generation of hunters - that legacy they talked about in 12x18, and the sense of what happens next. Them being more community-minded, answering someone else's call to adventure to help them out on the way, with aaaall their experience of what happens when your parent has been on a hunting trip and hasn't come home... And hopefully to help and at the very least reassure and comfort them with something they never had, being so isolated and chasing after John with no experience, no connection to the hunting community, nothing they thought they could rely on. I mean, Bobby was a "shit we're gonna die" last resort because they remembered how John parted with him, and clearly up to that point were worried that they'd get the same reaction.
They want to be Bobby before everything goes to hell for someone else.
Or, well.
Sam does.
In that Sam gets a dog, is the next Bobby, Dean n Cas get married and do their own thing endgame scenario.
(Aaaah)
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Jesus we get a shot of Dean where for a moment he holds his head the same angle as in 1x01 (thanks Speight) and he looks the frikkin same as he did in season 1.
I hate his face.
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I hate that he spells it Cass.
his recent calls from oldest to newest are Sam Sam Sam Cass Mom Sam, all listed as "yesterday" which for them was the events of 12x19, so I guess the Cas call is where he figured Cas ditched his phone, the Sam ones are filler because Dean and Sam might talk for 17 minutes arguing about what groceries to bring home, but the mom one is listed in his recent calls from "yesterday" that he already attempted to phone her once, apparently immediately after calling Cas and getting no answer. I will take that as him wanting to reach out to his mom because he was upset about Cas >.>
Mittens and I just talked over that it's spring so the fact it was dark in 12x19 doesn't mean it was midnight, so they have time to fit in a lot of panicking if they woke up not long after Cas booped them, especially if they split up to look for them for a bit, hence Dean having called Sam 4 times before midnight.
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Anvil heavy parallel about moms in peril and not answering their phones starting with the shapeshifter who they have captured with bolts in it, and in Mary's form, obviously a fake out that Ketch has randomly skipped ahead in the plot and captured Mary and is torturing her. Mary herself is fine, just ignoring her phone while Ketch works over the shapeshifter. We're just left with the unsettling possibility that Mary might stop not answering her phone because she's busy and not answer it because she's in peril.
I'm reminded of 6x10 and Crowley interrogating himself but this is interesting because it's casually using 2 of the same person in the room stuff while Mary isn't even the one confronting herself - because she's avoiding introspection to work with Ketch. Meanwhile Ketch is working "her" over and also talking directly to the shapeshifter Mary to ask her to turn her phone off, in the sort of anger where it sounds like he's asking her.
He has no lines between Mary as she is and a Mary-looking monster he's allowed to hurt. The only reason he's NOT hurting our Mary is because she's still useful to him.
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Awww Dean wants her to help. He doesn't mention Asa, just that they're "the witch twins!" because he thinks they're as adorable as I do. Listen to him being a cutie.
And then his voice breaks and he asks her to call him back just to talk because he's upset, and we have him leaning on the table in the library, the room associated with home, and family, and the job but in a good way, with the view of the war room behind him, the dark part of the job, where it's a burden, a war they're drafted into... lurking over him like a thought bubble. Whether they face in or out of that room is important >.>
It also shows Dean being very, very alone, because of course the Mary and Cas parallels are still very much a thing, and as they were set up from 12x03 onward, because they're gone, and this time it's that they're both deliberately not answering for one reason or another, while in the earlier part of the season they were taking personal time, and in the middle of the season they were in it together while Sam and Dean were gone... Then they both get distracted taking on a mission with the BMoL and the nephilim, which were okay-ish but uncomfortable for a while, and now we have it turn on them, I assume 12x19 for Cas and this episode for Mary because yeeesh the use of the shapeshifter.
I suppose it amuses you to take Mary's form.
Ketch says it will do nothing to inspire hesitation. Mary has to watch him say that and then drive a spike into the shifter.
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Ooh that was clever use of pronouns - Mary calls the shifter "he" I assume because of how they met it, which draws attention to pronouns... and then Ketch is like "It!" very emphatically.
Also Mary calling it "he" distances from the shape it's currently in. It's not *her* because that's both a pronoun and literally, not her. She sees a difference - Ketch really doesn't, or doesn't care not to.
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He also sounds like he "cares" about people, in a sort of repeating my training monsters are bad because they kill people, I'm gonna dexter my way through it and kill monsters and who the BMoL tell me to instead of innocent people... Use them as a moral guide for what's okay to kill, and gives him an abstract idea that there are people who should not be killed. He doesn't CARE and probably WOULD kill them because he doesn't actually have this concept of innocent humanity who should be protected, but it's a rationale from the job to make killing as acceptable as possible for him. Anyway he spouts the justification that the shifter killed people.
It laughs at him looking SUPER evil and creepy. Mary's face has been used a LOT for evil or to say and do horrible things across the years. The last time we saw her before season 12 was as Eve. The time before that, 5x16 when Zach used her image to torture Dean. (I mean I like Eve and think she was good in her own way and only acting as a neutral force that had a separate morality but was a good mom to her monsters... but for the sake of argument, WAS a big bad who wanted to turn all humans into monsters and killed a bunch of people to get there - a literal reverse this year of Mary trying to get RID of all monsters...)
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"Your eye twitches when you lie" "My eye twitches all the time" - I mean we're gonna have to go back and watch how many times Ketch winks this season. Anyway the shifter takes his form, and they stare each other down, and like I said about MARY not doing any self-reflecting but only seeing what Ketch might do to her in that? Remember the shifters download memories after they contact people, and Ketch snapped and punched it instead of sticking spikes in it at a careful remove. He's just given the shifter a chance to copy him, and now it can get inside his head too.
Both Ketch and Mary have a visible reaction to this change. Mary is kind of fascinated what happens here - will the shifter betray anything else about Ketch to her?
AAAH it's not using the aaaaccccccccentttttttttttttttt IS THIS DHJ'S ACTUAL VOICE? I HAVE BEEN WONDERING ALL YEAR
"Well I guess I know aaall about you."
Ketch just smirks and takes another spike.
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Nyoooom
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mountains and laaaakes
Max sits on the bench like Sam does
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"Anything else?" "I got the bartender's phone number" *grin*
*Sam parallel comes screeching to a halt* *turns into Dean parallel suddenly when it's about picking dudes up*
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Also... gender neutral bartender pronoun. As far as on screen conversations go, Dean does not know Max is gay which is gonna amuse me as long as this lasts :P
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Uh but also they tracked their mom by asking around at the vegan restaurant because of course she's a vegan. She drives a smart car. This is like the dead opposite of finding John's grimy motel room full of abandoned burger wrappers
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Okay no I unpaused and Max complimented the car specifically to Dean and Dean offered him a tour. Pls.
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They disappear off and Sam stays behind to have the Serious Conversation with Alicia - like, Max and Dean having a chill conversation in the background about cars is the reason to separate them off for the real stuff
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Okay first we get some more grenade baiting.
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Anyway Max seems to know their mom better - which is a Dean thing, that he THOUGHT he knew her better, even if he's still arguing from the 'she's fine' Sam position - because they have more in common, both being natural witches.
And Alicia has no magic, even though they're the "witch twins" which, ouch. "Magic is definitely their thing" but she's always getting lumped in as being a witch or associated with them. If we take that as a family business season 1 parallel, Sam was the outsider there to Dean and John at least to start with, because Dean had been hunting those missing years, on his own or with John, and was immediately picking up the burden of "saving people hunting things" and cajoling Sam onto the track - which took until John's death and 2x02 to get a real change on but then of course it was in reaction to grief, though Sam had chosen family in 1x22, it all gets messed up by John's death... Less a victory and more something that alarms Dean about Sam's coping methods :P Anyway Dean in season 1 was firmly family business coded, and Sam was dragged along with it while he had personal reasons to be on the revenge mission, but initially little interest in the family business. I mean the whole point that Dean had to give him the saving people hunting things speech in the first place was this.
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fffffffffffff Sam just confirmed this analysis for me so take that as a deeper explanation on why he said exactly this and thinks John and Dean had a greater bond over hunting. I don't think Dean and John necessarily had more of a "bond" than him and Sam because that "spent it on ammo" conversation, but Dean was definitely closer to the JOB than Sam.
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LOL "what about with Mary"
Awwwkward
Sam mumbles something which explains metaphorically Mary's absence all their lives, and how she acts now, and does NOT give a personal relationship kind of answer in the same way as talking about their bonds and relationships for all the other dynamics.
"Not a great hugger" though - the only thing Sam and Mary HAVE is that hug in 12x02. Puts it in stark relief how that's ALL they shared.
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Sam uses the power of awkwardness to further the case. Incredible. he's finally harnessed it. The weirdo guy who came out the basement and possibly killed Tasha but is blatantly connected since he was just in there so must know something or other, just kinda stares at them. Sam gives him a super awkward wave, the sort that can be the only answer to awkward staring, and the man does not break and seem at all empathetic to the by now CRUSHING awkwardness of this scene, merely turns and walks off. Sam being a goober proved that there was something shady about this guy. I'm just... yeah. Brilliant application of characterisation. No one exploits Sam's awkwardness and it's RIGHT THERE for the taking :D
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Tasha pulls a knife, storms into the hotel and is met by the adorable desk guy, holding flowers, butter wouldn't melt in his mouth etc
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oooh dear, Tasha has her shirt half-tucked in, which is how Mary's been wearing just about everything this year. We've seen it so many times on her, that I can't help but read it as another reference.
Also hi Tasha but wtf you're supposed to be dead?
Also are you the same actress who was making out with Asa? I forgot to check earlier. *goes to re-watch his Up montage*
Nah, I don't think it's the same actress, although I still guess she could be the younger self of Tasha, since it was however long ago the twins are old, we'd have to assume.
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Mittens keeps screeching to me about mirrors flipping, so I guess this is a formal note that all the stuff I was talking about earlier about not marrying speculation and how Dabb era is a totally wild ride where it yanks expectations out from under your feet is a thing being very very deliberately applied here by the show. They built up a Max > Sam, Alicia > Dean, Tasha > John backstory, but once Max said he hit on the bartender, we suddenly get Max > Dean, Alicia > Sam, Tasha > Mary thing going on.
As I was talking about 2x02, Sam and Dean flipped roles there. And in season 10 onwards we had a Sam is the new Dean theme going on where THEY flipped a ton of symbolic roles. It still happens from time to time depending on what themes you're looking at - swapping back to try out a theme on the other brother.
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Max is snarky about Tasha being in peril, after i over-used that word >.>
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Wine! Dean hasn't got to have wine since they were hanging out being fancy with Jody in 11x12
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oh my GOD Alicia "we"s the anxiety over Tasha and gets corrected by Max AGAIN for using "we" intead of "i"
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The room has a wood pattern all over the wall which reminds me of 3x10 but also the fairy episode
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Tahsa says her phone wasn't charging which just amuses me that Mary left one of her phones and it was fully charged to get the call from Alicia
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Okay that was gross. Is Tasha an actual zombie now? I guess being dead makes you fragile or something because there's no way a normal hand dislocates like that opening wine. I guess you're more brittle or something???
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She is dead, right?
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Is this zombie wine
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Dean is holding his wine glass like an animal. Dude.
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Sam goes to get their vegan food and Dean helps himself to a free top up of the zombie wine. I detect a faint note of 5x15 and Karen Singer's zombie pie - Dean being given treats by a dead mother figure and helping himself happily... Of course back then they knew something was wrong as soon as they got into town.
They should have heard the snapping of fingers because honestly I can make my joints pop loud enough to hear across the room, surely relocating your entire finger like that is even louder, as per the revolting sound effects?
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I wonder why she's keeping it from them - I feel like this maaay be a Cas parallel to the mind control or whatever he's under now, that it's showing her behaving somewhat to totally normally, except for the parts where she's shifty about whats's happened to her. Is it a trap? Aside from lack of communication she did nothing to draw them there, they just stumbled onto her. She knows something's up with her but why is she hiding it? Is she totally lost and this is what's left of her, or is she changed, concerned but not sharing out of protecting them?
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Ew killing things turns Ketch on - confirmed. >.> I mean not that that's a hard reach to make but it's very very clear now when he just asks her outright for sex because he's pumping with adrenaline now >.>
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Mary having Ketchy second thoughts. Talking back to him way too easily as she tries to call him out for too much torture fun.
"That shifter was never going to betray his family" oo-er themes of family betrayal then.
"Sometimes pain works" You're really scary, you know.
Mary reveals she NEVER saw that side of Ketch before - the side that enjoys torturing. She's been missing the signs all along then, but what can you do about it :P She wanted to believe this was going to be a good thing.
He immediately says she's not going to become the Jiminy Cricket of the BMoL - of course, Dean already has volunteered that work to souless!Sam in season 6, and there are more than enough parallels to the scary work they do to the Campbells or how Souless!Sam acted towards hunting, with again that very unnerving idea of why they do the job - saving people as a sort of abstract idea or goal, while Dean will cry for random humanity that he's never met but he knows will suffer/have suffered.
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Anyway Ketch fobs her off on Mick, who won't answer... He's just using her for as long as he can get work out of her until he has to kill her, and obviously seeing the signs this isn't going to last much longer if she's starting to question "ends justify the means"... I assume he tells her to call Dean as a way to let her say goodbye if he was compassionate - or to put one more phone call between them and the length of time it takes for Dean to realise she hasn't answered for weeks and run riot on the BMoL to find out what happened to her. If she checks in, he just thinks she doesn't love him and goes weeks without talking to him, and buys Ketch literal weeks before her not answering becomes a problem for Dean aside from the obvious trauma :P And Mick is also giving the illusion there's a higher up authority who cares/the human face of the faceless terrifying organisation, which, of course, he's killed off. It's JUST him there and the random heavies they've hired.
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Dean checking his messages - nothing from Cas or Mary
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He must be at that part of drinking wine where you get moody
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Tasha also says he must be drunk and Dean's like pfft on wine so I think he's going to get unexpectedly sloshed because wine can really hit you if you're not expecting it even if you drink a lot reguarly :P
Max is trying to talk Alicia into letting him take the jeep to go hook up with the bartender, I guess, and Alicia is having none of it.
Dean gets into a deep conversation about parenting with Tasha, which can do nothing to make him feel good because his hunter mom has been not answering his calls, while he sees love and support here, stuff like "always call on day 4 of a hunt" for example.
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Dean gets to field the question about where Mary was when they were being raised - her death portrayed by both Sam and Dean now as complicated, a situation of her being absent which sort of implies intent. Selling it this way for lack of awkwardness is exactly the problem I have with writing her in an unnamed terrible AU of mine, because now to match her current characterisation but where you can't kill her off for 30 years, she has to turn out to be a pretty flaky parent and mirror the season 12 characterisation all the way down the line. Like, what, she just got depressed and disappeared on them or something?? How do you handle her coming back into their lives, or the contact she would or wouldn't have had with them? Her death becomes negligence when you have to pretend she's been in their lives the entire time instead of dead, because both Sam and Dean are caught out speaking of their lives as if Mary was never there, because she WASN'T.
I don't know if the blame will actually fall on her or not but I think there's a hell of a lot of resentment they were never allowed to feel that their lives were this way and Mary made a deal and kicked it all off for them... sure greater circumstances, blah blah apocalypse was fated and the demons and angels both would do anything to ensure that... But on a human level, on a family level, it begins with Mary's deal. Her absence was still an accidental death but it happened. And now she's back, being a flaky, complicated parent with huge absences they have to explain when writing an AU of their lives where she didn't die to avoid explaining it... It sounds bad >.>
(I am of course fully on Mary's team and loving it, but for Sam and Dean's positive development, addressing this blame to Mary and bringing her to a level where they can DARE express it is a great goal to aim for here >.>)
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"Parents always seem smart and strong and perfect. It's only when you grow up that you realise they're just people."
That is what Dean has needed to hear since well, ever
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Mary finally listens to Dean's message, and looks deeply concerned. But being in Ketch's vicinity ruins her chance to deal with it. Dean coincidentally calls her right then, and she has to hang up because drama
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Mick kindly lets Mary know he's going to be gone a few more weeks. Does that mean Ketch is buying a few more weeks where Mary isn't suspicious? He's dragging out killing her if he was supposed to do it already. You can say bugging the bunker was tactical because Sam and Dean might be dangerous enemies and at the very least you need to learn their patterns if you're going to attack.
But Mary's like, right here.
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I sort of feel like the vegan food thing is dangerously close to zombie!Tasha snapping and eating someone. Just... they are really making a deal out it :P
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gosh creepy cellar guy is creepy no way
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Dean no don't leave your phone unattended while going to go investigate
I mean, Mary potentially calling you aside, that's leaving yourself stupidly vulnerable to not having a phone on you if crap goes down
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Oh, there's the creepy twine
And the twigs
brrrr
knew she was evil
it was the wool that tipped me off
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I have a question. That has bothered me almost the entire show. They always use "dean's other OTHER cell" answerphone but is that just his main phone these days and the main no. is like one of his generic work phones they keep in the glove compartment (the "batphone") and... what. I mean I know they use the recording because it is useful to show someone's tried calling all 3 of his phones, but it implies Dean constantly has up to 3 phones on him and he leaves them all behind. So are all the messages on the other OTHER phone all going to the one he leaves in the car, in the Bunker, the emergency one he sews into the lining of his coat, what?
I mean it always seems to imply they're missing the call on the phone Dean keeps on him at all times, e.g. his main phone, the one we'd casually think of us "our phone" if it was ours, and all the others are emergency work related ones somehow or other. If the one he plays words with friends on is his other OTHER cell, why on earth is it the 3rd resort number phone as per his answerphone message? Or is it just a friend privilege to know that other OTHER cell is the one he's most likely to answer first?
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Oh dear the "I love you" message is always the one that is really portentous that Mary's gonna be in trouuuble. That's what Dean only gets to hear at the end of the episode and by then we know something dreadful has happened to her.
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"Ugh, smells like death" - didn't need to know that. Also how does it not seep out further than this.
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Little bit worried that Max has excused himself and the bartender he's going to go hook up with is at the vegan restaurant (which has a bar apparently). I mean I'm just going off the endlessly relevant 9x05 and what Dean said about the source of all evil being at a vegan restaurant.
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Also it's split him and Alicia up and at the moment Alicia's alone with Tasha, who is, well... signs don't point to very well :P
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Oh cripes we're only halfway through the episode so I may be speculating as if it's a short MotW but we also have to splice it with the Mary stuff...
ew dead people and oh noooo the poor perky hotel clerk
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Tasha noooo
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She looks really dead.
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Oh no, Max.
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She was not fine after all :<
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Meanwhile Mary
isn't this the exact same room you were knocked out in last time you couldn't trust someone working with the BMoL
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Wait that coffin sized box was MICK okay that's horrible
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Also weirdly paralleling what Max just found with his mom. It's dead body discovery time. At least that sort of defuses the Mary anxiety for a moment - Max found Tasha and Mary finds Mick.
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Need to know the rest of the episode to comment on what this means for Mary and Cas... Doesn't look good that this is a copy but then if it's not Tasha but transformed, but something entirely other using her heart... well, Cas's heart has been hijacked to be used in defence of the nephilim it seems... Mary is in danger of losing her heart? Which is Sam and Dean?? Who knows
stop speculating mid-episode Lizzy
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Oh dear, they have the demon!Dean Gas n Sip murder footage as Dean's picture on the wall. Also Garth (eep only one not to be in the season... so far...) Eileen, Claire, Dean, Mary and Sam... Eileen and Claire, the Winchesters basically lead them to, and Garth they only had to namedrop before they got some intel enough to give him a screen.
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Mary Winchester - Age: 63 - SEE FILE NOTES
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FILE: "WTF"
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they have garth's naked CCTV footage from 9x12!
Claire confirmed to be 20, also I recognise that pic of her and I'm not sure where from but I have a weird feeling 10x20 and they're just reusing it as some CCTV footage
Eileen they have somehow got footage of her on the case in 11x11. Hrm. I suppose CCTV again and they've gone deep but they did encounter her much more recently than that and could have found out her more recent movements a bit more easily :P
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Oh dear, Ketch knew she was in there. He probably stood patiently out there knowing she'd have to open the door sooner or later and what better way to get the element of surprise :P
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Well that hastens their confrontation
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"A werewolf shot him in the head" "it's not impossible"
I mean, Sam got shot by a werewolf just this time-ish last year
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*loud yelling about the fight* AAAH MARY
She's getting knocked around so much I can TELL she's a Winchester. Wall slams for Dean and head trauma for Sam. It's genetic. And she is a vicious fighter herself as we've known since 4x03, but I mean, she once fist fought an angel :P
She breaks his arm like Dagon broke Dean's which is a weird parallel until you consider Dagon is the ultimate dark Mary mirror in a season concerned with mothers - she, Mary and Kelly make a weird collection except that motherhood links them. And Ketch of course is the dark Dean mirror. So good Dean gets arm broke by bad Mary, and good Mary breaks bad Dean's arm.
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Ketch is going full villain monologue
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He offers her protection if she just plays her part - and plays nice. Look, mate, I just watched 9x18 in the last couple of hours and am still hyped up about Metatron being the best thing that ever happened on the show, so you're kind of failing there :P But the "play your part" thing is something they're told all the time, especially in season 5 because TFW namedrop and 5x08 and all. Now Mary has a threat to HER free will - to become, well, the thing I wrote about in A World Without Monsters after 12x14 - Ketch's passive wife who does what he says and goes where he wants, who dresses her up in expensive clothes and keeps her at his side like a trophy >.>
God I'm just so amused at the directors these last 2 episodes. Naomi directs Cas having his agency taken away, and Gabriel directing Mary being told to play her part.
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Mary doesn't play nice :D
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I can't believe he didn't think the brass knuckles would work on him. Like, they're SO caught up in all their fancy technology and all their ways of doing things, that they forget the practical resourceful side >.>
The not-quite line about not being an angel was hilarious though.
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I mean the BMoL HAVE been paralleled to Heaven all season but... Well, brass knuckles are brass knuckles
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Ketch "wins" the fight with cheating after Mary utterly destroys and emasculates him
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I really love Mary
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ALSO MAX IS GREAT. Look at him chucking a guy through a window!
Everyone has glowing eyes - the stick people have white eyes. It's very similar to the original flavour nephilim eyes from 8x22, which were just a bit more golden. And angels have nearly white eyes but more blue when they glow. Pure white is associated with Alastair and Lilith, but theirs were kind of sick demonic eyes, while these are very obviously an inner glow of magic taking over them. The fact it's a taking over effect makes me even more certain the twig mom is a parallel to Cas.
Oh! Soul eater had white eyes for its possessed people (aka Dean) in 11x16. Nice.
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Also Max and Dean have paired off while Alicia and Sam are dealing with twig mom.
I know this has all been pretty instinctive running around but I like that the story chose to put Dean and Max in one place and Sam and Alicia in another.
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At this point the line between "stressed about Cas" and "my boyfriend has been abducted by Lucifer's unborn child" put Deaan in sketchy grounds for a hook up and also Max is an acquaintance, someone in the life, which makes it more real, so sadly I can not root for them to hook up. But I do approve them being parallels and working together :P
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Also Max was gonna go on his date but got distracted onto the case again and found out the truth - as Dean often does because him going to the bar is almost always a motivator to actually finding out vital info or getting dragged into things.
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The stick people are terrifying. I'd love a longer episode about them.
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Set them on fire. usually works.
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(I'm hiding behind my fingers so no typing)
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Aaaah the witch wants someone to take her magic?? Max don't do it! If you think it will save your mom it's not worth going to hell foooor you're already a good witch without it!!
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Oh god Dean can see this too but MAX
Oh god
*reaches for him through the screen*
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MAX SAID NO
Good, don't get into the Winchester's cycles. She's gone, she's just a memory now. >.>
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(AAAAH not thinking about what other symbolism yeeeet)
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OH NO SHE'S MAKING THE OFFER AGAIN
MAX YOU BETTER SAY NO AGAIN
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ALICIA NO
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Oh god Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaax
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THERE IS TOO MUCH SCREAMING TO BE DONE WHO DO I SCREAM FOR FIRST?
I'M NOT DONE SCREAMING ABOUT ANYTHING
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Oh god Dean saved his mirror but Sam's got a stabbed, dying Alicia to deal with
And Dean saving Max from going down a bad bad bad bad mark of cain looking path means Max may lose his entire family (although Tasha was already lost, let's be real, taking a doll home of her is as unrealistic and painful as a happy ending as Linda taking home Kevin's ghost)
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Welp, they're all dead except poor old Max, who thought everything was fine and he was gonna go out and get laid, and instead his entire family died >.>
And he got to watch his mom die in excruciating detail
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He wishes he'd just listened to his sister when she was trying to tell him she was worried. Hm.
Sam has said both Mary and Cas are fiiine this year, and Cas is now, well, a stick person, and Mary has has the BMoL thing bite her in the ass, so that's all going great. >.>
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nyooom (over the same stretch of road as they were driving in the opposite direction to get to California... Uh.)
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(I giffed it in the last couple of weeks while layering snarky captions over the background, I'm not that weird :P)
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Oh no "You saved him" "he didn't look saved"
But letting him do a demon deal to keep his family alive? Nope. Sometimes you have to let it go
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"Happy family - the kind we should have had"
well that's not massively depressing after they both had to explain their family history with no Mary in it to someone else
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Whoopsie he went and picked up the ring
right as Sam was saying they couldn't let him do a deal for his soul
"we do terrible things all the time to save each other - that's what you do for family"
it's kind of horrifying this is the lesson about family they've learned, when it's the whole new better ways thing that's basically trying to find ways out of having to do this for each other, even while Mary and Cas are busy doing terrible things for their family >.>
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Maybe the horror of thinking another set of siblings would be as dumb as them about saving each other is enough of an objective viewpoint to make them think about it.
Meanwhile, Max. Going and doing an actual demonstration of what not to do in the case of grief, when you know there's a magic spell out there that will make it all better.
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She's his twig sister now
You can get all philosophical about it but in this world it depends on where the soul is or isn't. He has her heart and her memories... Did any of the other missing people act soulless? None of them really did - they were just under the witch's thrall when she needed them to be. I think she's not functionally human, but she is functionally living... The real bad part is not what she has transformed into, but that Max now has her under his thrall. Even if he NEVER uses that power, he HAS the capability to, and he's on a moral slide now, having made the choice to resurrect his sister using the dark witchy powers.
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Kind of horrifying once you think about it, that it probably WAS for all intents and purposes, Tasha that they were talking to until the witch made her turn on them.
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But yeah I think Dean read when Max was telling them to leave that he might do it - because Dean knew he would do it, or would have done it, in the same circumstance. He's worried and tends to know. He knows how hurt Max is, and like, "I'm not so sure" about Max being alright.
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Max taking the journal also reminds me of Sam in 3x15 - if Dean hadn't stopped him, he'd have taken the creepy doc's journal and used its power to keep Dean alive at any cost - even having seen what a Frankenstien's monster that turned the doc into
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Finally, Dean listens to his messages, and aside from an eyeroll about mentioning Ketch, takes the first message okay
but then...
we have a problem
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... uh, why won't Sam wake up
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Lol, Mary's in the exact same chair that the shapeshifter was in what a surpriiiise
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Oh the grey suits messed me up, I thought that was Ketch.
Toni comes out of the same corner that Mary was lurking in hiding behind her own shapeshifter while they were making you think that that was Mary in the chair.
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I guess the Mary stuff was just escalating the tension and moving on the plot while mirroring here and there what was going on - she and Cas are main plot things with their two sides of the story, so they are what the other stuff mirrors... I think the twig control thing is obvious enough for the nephilim control - not an exact thing because Cas presumably isn't dead, though the heart detail is interesting when Cas - "too much heart" etc, and the season 8 stuff where heart imagery was liberally splashed around and connected to him because of that line. But the partial control, the sense of self outside of anything relating to the control - the obliviousness to what HAS happened, like Alicia leaving her own dead body behind. I still feel like Cas might not necessarily think that he's been controlled. And that he's just himself, as Tasha did when they confronted her, and as Alicia does as she walks out the door, more concerned about the blood on her brother's hands without realising it's her own. (Symbolic.)
And then they parallel Sam and Dean but back and forth - some parts Sam some parts Dean. Max's final action, Dean says they've both done terrible things, and so Max stands for them both, mirroring things like 3x15 and Gadreel just for starters, never mind selling his soul to get his sister back, as Dean did and Sam tried to do. So it's really the social stuff which is interesting (Max's Dean-like behaviour, but Sam-like attitude to his family being fine, and Alicia's reflection on family getting some needed vocalisation of how Sam feels about it all, and the thing about hugging and all...)
Kind of wish we had more of the twig people but we had to fit in all the Mary stuff and she was brilliant this episode. I've been waiting for someone to get in a few good hits on Ketch and that fight was brutal, and let Mary get bloody and fight dirty, which was great...
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In conclusion: AAAAAAAAAAAAAH
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The Force Ricochets
In the beginning, there was the Word…or a bunch of words, anyway. They began with, “It is a period of civil war. Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.” Once seen, it was impossible to forget.
Film historians will tell you the first blockbuster was Steven Spielberg’s Jaws in 1975. That’s true, but there’s a galaxy’s worth of difference between a blockbuster and a frickin’ phenomenon. On May 25, 1977, Star Wars changed everything. The brainchild of George Lucas erupted from theaters and soon laid claim to toys, books, music, clothing, and an absolutely godawful holiday special.
For a while there, Star Wars was bulletproof. It didn’t matter that Return of the Jedi was only two-thirds of a good movie. It didn’t matter that a large number of connected novels were poorly written. Hell, it didn’t even matter that the release of the Prequel Trilogy captured the imagination of the public like a wet fart. Ultimately, it was always understood that underneath it all was a strong core, the product of a vision.
Things changed in 2012 when George Lucas sold Lucasfilm for $4.05 billion to Disney. The Mouse House now oversaw his galaxy, and the legacy of his company was secure. Barely after the ink was dry on the contracts, plans were made.* Disney did what it excels at, which is pumping out content. A continuation of the Skywalker Saga began in 2015 with Star Wars: The Force Awakens. That trilogy, along with 42 years of themes, narrative, and expectations comes to a close with Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker.
Remember Kylo Ren (Adam Driver)? When last we saw him, he had assumed control of the villainous Empire…I mean, First Order, tried and failed to stamp out the Rebellion…I mean, the Resistance, and did battle with his mentor Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) who was revealed to be an exceptionally sneaky Force Ghost. Have those experiences seasoned young Master Ren into a wiser and cannier opponent? They have not, and he’s still the same old lovable scamp who enjoys wholesale slaughter and counterproductive temper tantrums.
After killing the hell out of a bunch of luckless chumps, Ren descends into the depths of a hidden planet. He finds Emperor Palpatine (Ian McDiarmid), who has been a busy little Sith lord despite the minor inconvenience of having been dead. It turns out he’s been creating clones and waiting for his long-lost heir. The plan is to activate a thing called The Final Order which will subjugate the galaxy, resurrect the Sith order, and cause everyone to have a pretty crappy day.
The good news is, there’s a band of plucky rebels on hand to stop them. Yes, still. Our old pal Rey (Daisy Ridley) has been diligently training to be a Jedi, and she’s become a dab hand at yanking stuff around with the Force and swinging around her lightsaber all willy-nilly. Daredevil pilot Poe Dameron (Oscar Isaac) continues to buckle swashes whenever possible, while ex-Stormtrooper Finn (John Boyega) continues to have a frustratingly underwritten personality.
Their leader remains Leia Organa (Carrie Fisher), who desperately seeks an advantage against the First Order. Due to the efforts of a spy, she just might have one. Now they must seek out a Sith artifact, the corpse of an assassin, his ship, and a mystical dagger emblazoned with clues leading them to the truth. Yep, there’s an awful lot of time spent seeking out things or people.
Let’s take a moment to imagine you’re seeing your favorite band in concert. You’ve gotten good seats and the sound quality is exquisite. They take the stage, and your musicians of choice play all the hits, but only the hits. Then, a tribute band joins them onstage, and they proceed to play the hits. That’s what The Rise of Skywalker is, and it’s designed to give the fans what they want and nothing else at all.
Look, I still believe that as much as The Force Awakens played it safe, it skillfully rejuvenated the Star Wars brand and was a fun time at the movies. I also believe that The Last Jedi took some big chances and did so with a high degree of skill. That film also was the most divisive film in the franchise, and going forward, the creators of The Rise of Skywalker had quite a job ahead of them. Their job was to bring audiences more adventures with characters they love, wrap up years-long storylines, deliver thrilling spectacle, and simultaneously close out a franchise while prepping audiences for more down the road. Unfortunately for them, the film that actually did all those things successfully this year is Avengers: Endgame.
So that must mean I loathed The Rise of Skywalker, right? Not at all? Give director J.J. Abrams credit for consistently making terrific-looking films that are impeccably cast and feature inventive set pieces. There’s a lightsaber duel in the midst of crashing waves that’s gorgeous, and an extended sequence that would be right at home in the world of Mad Max. There were many, many moments where I caught myself thinking, “Oh, that’s cool!” Problem is, I was only affected by surface pleasures.
As so often happens, the root problems are with the screenplay. Derek Connolly, Colin Trevorrow, Abrams, and Chris Terrio hammered out the story and script, and it’s a story written from fear. Sure, The Last Jedi made over $1 billion at the box office, yet The Force Awakens made over $2 billion, and last year’s Solo underperformed with a hair under $400 million. Making matters worse, The Last Jedi had a 49 percent audience score on Rotten Tomatoes, compared to a 91 percent critics score.** Abrams and his merry group of scribes needed to deliver a crowd-pleaser or die trying.***
Their screenplay feels desperate. It’s as if, with a slightly mad gleam in their eyes, Abrams and co. are vigorously fan-servicing the audience and yelling, “DO YOU LIKE THIS? WHAT ABOUT THIS? HERE’S A LIGHTSABER FIGHT AND A TON OF SPACESHIPS AND ANCIENT PROPHESIES! HERE’S EVERYTHING YOU LOVE!” Over and over they call back to the Original Trilogy, and it feels like they have so little faith in the present that they need to refer to the past. Speaking of the past, the script repeatedly sidelines, undercuts, or straight-up changes plot and character points established in The Last Jedi. In typical Abrams fashion, it also does so at high speed. By the time you’ve realized a thing doesn’t make sense, the film has rocketed you to a totally different thing that also doesn’t make sense—yet is awfully cool looking. This franchise succeeds when it melds mythic archetypes, swashbuckling adventure and, yes, low-key ripping off other movies. It’s always done so with high confidence, and if there’s one thing Star Wars should never feel like, it’s desperate.
For decades, it’s been fashionable to sneer at the Star Wars movies for stilted and amateurish acting. Like many commonly held beliefs, it’s wrong. You need only look at the performances by Daisy Ridley and Adam Driver for proof. At no point are either of them phoning it in, and while they know they’re in a big-budget space fantasy, they never wink at the audience. They take the emotion seriously and deliver acting that’s layered and intelligent. Oscar Isaac’s Poe is a creature of almost pure charisma, and while he doesn’t have quite as much to do from a performance standpoint as last time out, he’s still great fun. Supporting turns from Keri Russell and Richard E. Grant are great fun, and I particularly enjoyed Joonas Suotamo’s clever performance as Chewbacca.
Let’s also take a moment to mourn how, throughout this trilogy, John Boyega has been done dirty. The idea of him playing a Stormtrooper who goes AWOL and develops a conscience is a damn good one. The Force Awakens left his character in an interesting place. The Last Jedi never quite knew what to do with him and saddled him with a subplot that kept putting the brakes on the movie. That trend continues here, and Finn, unfortunately, becomes a third wheel. Boyega is a smart and creative actor who could have had a brilliant role if only the filmmakers knew how to capitalize on it.
In the end, I suppose it doesn’t matter. Star Wars means a great many things to a great many people, and I don’t begrudge them a little joy this holiday season. Perhaps you’ll walk out of the theater feeling that pleasurable rush of dopamine. If so, that makes me happy. What also makes me happy is, despite the considerable disappointment I felt towards The Rise of Skywalker, Star Wars isn’t over. The cynical view to take is that it’s too big to fail, and too lucrative an IP to reject. The real view is that, right now, passionate and talented people are doing what matters. They’re devising stories,**** doing the brutally underappreciated work of illuminating the hidden corners of the galaxy, and igniting our imaginations. They’ll explore. We’ll follow.
*Or “schemes were hatched,” if you prefer.
**This is subject to change, but as of this writing, The Rise of Skywalker has an 86 percent audience score and a 57 percent critics score.
***When it comes to big popular entertainment, filmmakers walk a tightrope. You have to deliver something that people enjoy. You also have to have almost sociopathic confidence in your story. I give George Lucas a perverse degree of credit for the Prequel Trilogy. He made exactly the movies he wanted to make, and he gives zero f’s if we like them or not.
****It cannot be overstated how much credit Dave Filoni is due. He’s responsible for creating The Clone Wars and Rebels TV series and is a co-creator of The Mandalorian.
from Blog https://ondenver.com/the-force-ricochets/
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6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets
Nobody expects celebrities to actually be exactly the way they portray themselves publicly. Bruce Willis doesn’t go around killing terrorists every day (that probably happens, like, every other weekend). When you’re famous, it’s understood that you’ll have to bullshit a little and cultivate an image that appeals to your audience. But some do less cultivating and more top-to-bottom renovations. It’s always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they’re famous for. And that’s the case with …
6
Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion
No “celebrity goes into politics” story will ever be weird again, but the announcement that Kid Rock might run for Senate still managed to turn a few heads. After all, his biggest claim to fame was supposedly spending a summer “trying different things … smoking funny things,” and based on his ability to rhyme “things” with “things,” he surely has no better than an eighth-grade education, right?
Rock wants us to think he’s some rough-and-tumble country boy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His childhood home in Macomb County, Michigan recently sold for nearly $1.3 million, which we’re reasonably sure would be enough to buy whole towns around there. It turns out that his dad owned two luxury car dealerships and made some not-insignificant amounts of money.
Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”
Mr. and Mrs. Rock’s “four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house” is over 5,000 square feet, has an indoor Jacuzzi, amenities out the wazoo, and the property itself contains an apple orchard. Rock has tried to flaunt his down-home country style and use it to smear politicians as “out of touch.” That doesn’t have the same gravity now that we know his past.
Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.
5
Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard
Florida rapper Rick Ross is best known for his songs about nonstop hustling and pushing it to the limit (“it” being all of the drugs). Hell, he got his name from a drug kingpin. That’s why it was kind of a shocker when it came out that Ross was a corrections officer (read: prison guard) prior to getting into the rap game.
After the story broke about his previous life of literally the opposite of crime, Ross originally denied it, but somehow the media managed to get ahold of pay stubs that proved it. For about two years in the mid-’90s, he worked as a CO in Florida. Granted, that makes him more of a badass than being a CO in, say, Terre Haute, Indiana, but it didn’t help his street cred any.
Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.
Even 50 Cent took a jab at Ross in a rap to point out how dumb it was for Rozay to keep acting like he was something he wasn’t. After all, if you’re only learning about smuggling drugs and weapons from someone else’s case file instead of doing it yourself, can you sincerely say your raps come from the heart?
Probably thanks to some magical PR whiz, Ross finally owned up to his past. Rather than dismiss his old job as some kind of phase, he managed to call it a ��hustle” in its own right. (We’re beginning to think that absolutely anything can be a hustle as long as one declares it so.)
4
Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher
Lots of people watch porn — about 67 percent of you are only reading this while you wait for some to load. Even the “casual” viewer can probably name a fair number of lady porn stars, but for some reason, about the only male porn actor most people can identify is Ron Jeremy. He’s been the mustachioed face of videotaped boning for decades, but believe it or not, that wasn’t really his Plan A.
On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.
Jeremy is happy to talk about his educator past, and always considered his teaching degree his fallback option, or “ace in the hole” (that’s probably not the only thing he’s called that). He majored in theater in college, and much like theater majors of today, he went and tacked on an education degree “just in case.”
Read Next
What Movie News Should You Know RIGHT NOW (11/24/17)
One time, Jeremy and a friend (the school psychologist) picked up a couple of women and brought them back to what they claimed was their “hotel,” which was in truth the school for developmentally challenged kids where they worked. The building used to be a hotel, so they didn’t lie, precisely, but that’s the kind of thing you’d expect from the future star of Ebony Humpers 2. They also told the ladies that they were going to a convention for doctors, which was pure bullshit. In the morning, Jeremy and his friend brought the women up to the “hotel restaurant,” cleverly disguised as a goddamned school cafeteria. (The kids there were reportedly quite thrilled to meet them.)
3
The “Blue Collar” Comedy Tour Is Pretty Well-Educated
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour is a group of comedians who joined forces when they realized they were essentially using the same shtick, so why not put on a show together? And put on a show they did, because as far as Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy go, their entire careers are an act.
Most people are probably smart enough to assume that Larry the Cable Guy is not in fact named Larry the Cable Guy. What fewer people know is that he’s as far from “Southern” as it gets. He’s originally from Nebraska, which is definitely rural, but not “The hell kind of accent you got there, boy?” rural. The closest he got was that attending Baptist University in Decatur, Georgia (to major in drama and speech), but even so, that means he went to Georgia to go to college. That’s like your friend who studied abroad in Ireland coming back to America with a Cockney accent.
Seriously, watch him duck in and out of his “Southern” accent. It’s creepy:
youtube
Foxworthy, at least, is a native Georgian. His accent is real. But asking him to host Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader was an interesting choice, because he almost certainly is — dude went to Georgia Tech.
Granted, he didn’t graduate, but that’s in part because he landed a job working for his father at IBM in mainframe computer maintenance. Foxworthy, for his part, has tried to downplay it. There’s an obvious dichotomy between “college-educated computer guy” and “redneck” in our culture, but Jeff thinks there’s a bit more nuance than that:
“Here’s the problem that the media makes: They tend to think if you gave rednecks a billion dollars they wouldn’t be rednecks anymore. Look at Elvis — he put carpet on the ceiling. We wouldn’t wear Armani suits, we would just go to every NASCAR race.”
Someone should maybe tell him that Armani makes rather comfortable sweatpants.
2
Only One Of The Beach Boys Could Surf
Surfing isn’t merely a fun beach activity — it’s a lifestyle, brah. As soon as people discovered they could ride waves, it became a culture in itself. Nobody embodied that culture in the 1960s better than the Beach Boys, with their songs about the beach, fast cars, psychedelic farm animals, and then the beach again. They knew everything there was to know about taming the wild waves and impressing those California girls with their surf moves. Right? Right?
Well, no. Only one of them could surf.
Dennis Wilson, the drummer, was the only band member who knew the correct end of a surfboard. In 1961, he told fellow Beach Boys Brian Wilson and Mike Love, “Hey, surfing’s getting really big. You guys ought to write a song about it.” And then more songs about it …
youtube
… and then a couple of albums about it …
… and then an entire career about it. Had Dennis picked another random hobby, today they’d be known as the Model Train Building Boys. The band basically owes their success to Dennis’ suggestion. Although he also introduced them to his buddy Charles Manson, so not all of his ideas were so good.
Sadly, Dennis passed away in the very California ocean he loved after falling off a boat at age 39. His legacy lives on in every pastel-colored surf shack up and down the Pacific coast, and in the hearts of every Los Angeles tourist who tries surfing with a Groupon on a Saturday afternoon.
1
Neocon Poster Boy Milo Yiannopoulos Was (And Probably Still Is) A Total Dweeb
Milo Yiannopoulos is … no, not the main character from Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire. He’s this guy:
You may know him as the firebrand Breitbart editor whose swagger lets him get away with spouting fascist rhetoric for a little too long, turning thousands of confused young men into his personal fan club and helping push them closer to all-out xenophobia. Yiannopoulos has been known to flirt with Nazi ideas and imagery, and — despite straight-up asking white supremacists for snazzy new Breitbart story angles — it’s all OK! He’s only “trolling.” When he talks about the evils of immigration or how trans people don’t deserve basic dignity, he’s not repeating the same backwards bullshit your grandpa used to complain about on the dinner table; he’s writing genius political satire, you see. Truly, a Voltaire for the age of Twitter. (Or Facebook, since Twitter banned his ass.)
But before all this, Yiannopoulos got his start as a rather inept and awkward tech writer for a bunch of websites, including Breitbart, and he looked like this:
That’s Yiannopoulos showing off his dorky, possibly Nazi ring, and presumably posing for his MySpace photo. Wonder what that profile would’ve entailed? Maybe something about how he likes to write poetry (read: plagiarize Tori Amos lyrics) for fun? Perhaps something further about how video game fans are losers and psychopaths, despite using that whole ridiculous #Gamergate saga to further his career? Months before “freedom of speech” became his battle cry and the excuse for his particular brand of outrageous dickishness, Yiannopoulos wrote a whole Breitbart column about how those goshdarn video games (which are enjoyed by “unemployed saddos living in their parents’ basements”) were probably to blame for the Elliot Rodger murders, and someone ought to do something about them.
How did he evolve his writing style from “angry letter writer at your local newspaper” to “edgiest shitlord on the internet”? He didn’t. His current work is largely ghost-written and researched by people he actively works to maintain uncredited and anonymous, because if he doesn’t get all the fame and attention, then what even is the point? Yiannopoulos is barely a person; he’s a crappy Halloween mask precariously placed on top of a heap of regressive ideas society had already flushed down the toilet. By the way, it was an unassuming teenage journalist from Canada who put the brakes on Yiannopoulos’ rising star by digging up his pro-pedophilia comments from 2016. (If it wasn’t for that, he’d probably have his own show on Fox News by now.) We’re sure it wasn’t the Universe’s intention to violently punish him in the most ironic way possible — it was just a prank, bro.
Isaac feels like a fraud pretty much every day. Follow him on Twitter.
Feel like Kid Rock has betrayed you? Don’t go cold turkey, instead try a KICK ROCKS shirt as a way to cope with the pain.
If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Or sign up for our Subscription Service for exclusive content, an ad-free experience, and more.
For more, check out 13 Iconic Entertainers (Who Stole Their Whole Persona) and 5 Beloved Celebrities Who Were Nothing Like You Think.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 8 Quirks Of Famous Actors You Will Never Unsee, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook. For real.
Check out Robert Evans’ A Brief History of Vice: How Bad Behavior Built Civilization, a celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time.
Read more: http://ift.tt/2zPu9tt
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2kMvDyo via Viral News HQ
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Text
6 Famous People Whose Origin Stories Are Dark Secrets
Nobody expects celebrities to actually be exactly the way they portray themselves publicly. Bruce Willis doesn’t go around killing terrorists every day (that probably happens, like, every other weekend). When you’re famous, it’s understood that you’ll have to bullshit a little and cultivate an image that appeals to your audience. But some do less cultivating and more top-to-bottom renovations. It’s always shocking when famous people turn out to be the complete opposite of what they’re famous for. And that’s the case with …
6
Kid Rock Was Born Rich And Grew Up In A Huge-Ass Mansion
No “celebrity goes into politics” story will ever be weird again, but the announcement that Kid Rock might run for Senate still managed to turn a few heads. After all, his biggest claim to fame was supposedly spending a summer “trying different things … smoking funny things,” and based on his ability to rhyme “things” with “things,” he surely has no better than an eighth-grade education, right?
Rock wants us to think he’s some rough-and-tumble country boy, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth. His childhood home in Macomb County, Michigan recently sold for nearly $1.3 million, which we’re reasonably sure would be enough to buy whole towns around there. It turns out that his dad owned two luxury car dealerships and made some not-insignificant amounts of money.
Romeo High School “Your little rec center shall make a great showroom for our Bentleys. Papa will be most pleased.”
Mr. and Mrs. Rock’s “four-bedroom, four-bath, neo-Georgian colonial house” is over 5,000 square feet, has an indoor Jacuzzi, amenities out the wazoo, and the property itself contains an apple orchard. Rock has tried to flaunt his down-home country style and use it to smear politicians as “out of touch.” That doesn’t have the same gravity now that we know his past.
Adam Serwer/Twitter That’s a sad burger for so many reasons.
5
Rapper Rick Ross Was A Prison Guard
Florida rapper Rick Ross is best known for his songs about nonstop hustling and pushing it to the limit (“it” being all of the drugs). Hell, he got his name from a drug kingpin. That’s why it was kind of a shocker when it came out that Ross was a corrections officer (read: prison guard) prior to getting into the rap game.
After the story broke about his previous life of literally the opposite of crime, Ross originally denied it, but somehow the media managed to get ahold of pay stubs that proved it. For about two years in the mid-’90s, he worked as a CO in Florida. Granted, that makes him more of a badass than being a CO in, say, Terre Haute, Indiana, but it didn’t help his street cred any.
Florida Department of Corrections, Maybach Music Group His earliest songs were about how much he hated that Urkel kid who kept visiting his house.
Even 50 Cent took a jab at Ross in a rap to point out how dumb it was for Rozay to keep acting like he was something he wasn’t. After all, if you’re only learning about smuggling drugs and weapons from someone else’s case file instead of doing it yourself, can you sincerely say your raps come from the heart?
Probably thanks to some magical PR whiz, Ross finally owned up to his past. Rather than dismiss his old job as some kind of phase, he managed to call it a “hustle” in its own right. (We’re beginning to think that absolutely anything can be a hustle as long as one declares it so.)
4
Ron Jeremy Was A Special Education Teacher
Lots of people watch porn — about 67 percent of you are only reading this while you wait for some to load. Even the “casual” viewer can probably name a fair number of lady porn stars, but for some reason, about the only male porn actor most people can identify is Ron Jeremy. He’s been the mustachioed face of videotaped boning for decades, but believe it or not, that wasn’t really his Plan A.
On an episode of Judge Pirro, Jeremy admitted that his background was in theater, and that he’d gone on to get a master’s degree in special education. As in working with disabled kids.
Jeremy is happy to talk about his educator past, and always considered his teaching degree his fallback option, or “ace in the hole” (that’s probably not the only thing he’s called that). He majored in theater in college, and much like theater majors of today, he went and tacked on an education degree “just in case.”
Read Next
What Movie News Should You Know RIGHT NOW (11/24/17)
One time, Jeremy and a friend (the school psychologist) picked up a couple of women and brought them back to what they claimed was their “hotel,” which was in truth the school for developmentally challenged kids where they worked. The building used to be a hotel, so they didn’t lie, precisely, but that’s the kind of thing you’d expect from the future star of Ebony Humpers 2. They also told the ladies that they were going to a convention for doctors, which was pure bullshit. In the morning, Jeremy and his friend brought the women up to the “hotel restaurant,” cleverly disguised as a goddamned school cafeteria. (The kids there were reportedly quite thrilled to meet them.)
3
The “Blue Collar” Comedy Tour Is Pretty Well-Educated
The Blue Collar Comedy Tour is a group of comedians who joined forces when they realized they were essentially using the same shtick, so why not put on a show together? And put on a show they did, because as far as Larry the Cable Guy and Jeff Foxworthy go, their entire careers are an act.
Most people are probably smart enough to assume that Larry the Cable Guy is not in fact named Larry the Cable Guy. What fewer people know is that he’s as far from “Southern” as it gets. He’s originally from Nebraska, which is definitely rural, but not “The hell kind of accent you got there, boy?” rural. The closest he got was that attending Baptist University in Decatur, Georgia (to major in drama and speech), but even so, that means he went to Georgia to go to college. That’s like your friend who studied abroad in Ireland coming back to America with a Cockney accent.
Seriously, watch him duck in and out of his “Southern” accent. It’s creepy:
youtube
Foxworthy, at least, is a native Georgian. His accent is real. But asking him to host Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader was an interesting choice, because he almost certainly is — dude went to Georgia Tech.
Granted, he didn’t graduate, but that’s in part because he landed a job working for his father at IBM in mainframe computer maintenance. Foxworthy, for his part, has tried to downplay it. There’s an obvious dichotomy between “college-educated computer guy” and “redneck” in our culture, but Jeff thinks there’s a bit more nuance than that:
“Here’s the problem that the media makes: They tend to think if you gave rednecks a billion dollars they wouldn’t be rednecks anymore. Look at Elvis — he put carpet on the ceiling. We wouldn’t wear Armani suits, we would just go to every NASCAR race.”
Someone should maybe tell him that Armani makes rather comfortable sweatpants.
2
Only One Of The Beach Boys Could Surf
Surfing isn’t merely a fun beach activity — it’s a lifestyle, brah. As soon as people discovered they could ride waves, it became a culture in itself. Nobody embodied that culture in the 1960s better than the Beach Boys, with their songs about the beach, fast cars, psychedelic farm animals, and then the beach again. They knew everything there was to know about taming the wild waves and impressing those California girls with their surf moves. Right? Right?
Well, no. Only one of them could surf.
Dennis Wilson, the drummer, was the only band member who knew the correct end of a surfboard. In 1961, he told fellow Beach Boys Brian Wilson and Mike Love, “Hey, surfing’s getting really big. You guys ought to write a song about it.” And then more songs about it …
youtube
… and then a couple of albums about it …
… and then an entire career about it. Had Dennis picked another random hobby, today they’d be known as the Model Train Building Boys. The band basically owes their success to Dennis’ suggestion. Although he also introduced them to his buddy Charles Manson, so not all of his ideas were so good.
Sadly, Dennis passed away in the very California ocean he loved after falling off a boat at age 39. His legacy lives on in every pastel-colored surf shack up and down the Pacific coast, and in the hearts of every Los Angeles tourist who tries surfing with a Groupon on a Saturday afternoon.
1
Neocon Poster Boy Milo Yiannopoulos Was (And Probably Still Is) A Total Dweeb
Milo Yiannopoulos is … no, not the main character from Disney’s Atlantis: The Lost Empire. He’s this guy:
You may know him as the firebrand Breitbart editor whose swagger lets him get away with spouting fascist rhetoric for a little too long, turning thousands of confused young men into his personal fan club and helping push them closer to all-out xenophobia. Yiannopoulos has been known to flirt with Nazi ideas and imagery, and — despite straight-up asking white supremacists for snazzy new Breitbart story angles — it’s all OK! He’s only “trolling.” When he talks about the evils of immigration or how trans people don’t deserve basic dignity, he’s not repeating the same backwards bullshit your grandpa used to complain about on the dinner table; he’s writing genius political satire, you see. Truly, a Voltaire for the age of Twitter. (Or Facebook, since Twitter banned his ass.)
But before all this, Yiannopoulos got his start as a rather inept and awkward tech writer for a bunch of websites, including Breitbart, and he looked like this:
That’s Yiannopoulos showing off his dorky, possibly Nazi ring, and presumably posing for his MySpace photo. Wonder what that profile would’ve entailed? Maybe something about how he likes to write poetry (read: plagiarize Tori Amos lyrics) for fun? Perhaps something further about how video game fans are losers and psychopaths, despite using that whole ridiculous #Gamergate saga to further his career? Months before “freedom of speech” became his battle cry and the excuse for his particular brand of outrageous dickishness, Yiannopoulos wrote a whole Breitbart column about how those goshdarn video games (which are enjoyed by “unemployed saddos living in their parents’ basements”) were probably to blame for the Elliot Rodger murders, and someone ought to do something about them.
How did he evolve his writing style from “angry letter writer at your local newspaper” to “edgiest shitlord on the internet”? He didn’t. His current work is largely ghost-written and researched by people he actively works to maintain uncredited and anonymous, because if he doesn’t get all the fame and attention, then what even is the point? Yiannopoulos is barely a person; he’s a crappy Halloween mask precariously placed on top of a heap of regressive ideas society had already flushed down the toilet. By the way, it was an unassuming teenage journalist from Canada who put the brakes on Yiannopoulos’ rising star by digging up his pro-pedophilia comments from 2016. (If it wasn’t for that, he’d probably have his own show on Fox News by now.) We’re sure it wasn’t the Universe’s intention to violently punish him in the most ironic way possible — it was just a prank, bro.
Isaac feels like a fraud pretty much every day. Follow him on Twitter.
Feel like Kid Rock has betrayed you? Don’t go cold turkey, instead try a KICK ROCKS shirt as a way to cope with the pain.
If you loved this article and want more content like this, support our site with a visit to our Contribution Page. Or sign up for our Subscription Service for exclusive content, an ad-free experience, and more.
For more, check out 13 Iconic Entertainers (Who Stole Their Whole Persona) and 5 Beloved Celebrities Who Were Nothing Like You Think.
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out 8 Quirks Of Famous Actors You Will Never Unsee, and watch other videos you won’t see on the site!
Also follow us on Facebook. For real.
Check out Robert Evans’ A Brief History of Vice: How Bad Behavior Built Civilization, a celebration of the brave, drunken pioneers who built our civilization one seemingly bad decision at a time.
Read more: http://ift.tt/2zPu9tt
from Viral News HQ http://ift.tt/2kMvDyo via Viral News HQ
0 notes