#everytime when i start to like some ship there's always appearing strong desire to make a fankid for it ¡-¡

[krislgfox]

I'm a bit nervous to post it, but as most of the people say: I'm cringe but I'm free! So, take this ref sheet of coalecroux fankid that I'm came up with! :]

Some small facts:

-His adopted

-Calls his parents like "purple dad" and "fire dad"

-When he was just born, he easily fitted in Gideon's one hand

-He really liked to bite Gideon(especially his fingers) and lay on Kermy's head when he was 3

-Firefly is 3ft tall

-He strongly refuse to wear shoes

-Calls Gricko, Frosty and Torbek as his uncles, calls Twig as his auntie and calls Hootsie as his big sis

-He really likes when someone carries him around

-He's halfdragon who was born from thing called "forbidden fruit"(I read about it on DnD.su)

-He's a halfdragon of lizardfolk and sapphire dragon

-His tail is a bit defected

-His favorite creatures are griffons(he likes them as much as Kremy likes unicorns)

Some kind of story how Gid and Kremy got him(I'm bad at making stories srry):

Basically, Gid and Kremy found his egg in the bushes near some lake deep in the forest when they wanted to make some "ironic" picnic date there. When they found his egg they waited some time to make sure if someone will comeback for him, but after 2 hours no one came they realized that the egg was abandoned and so Kremy's parent instincts started to kick in and they decided to take it. Something like that :d

[imagine-your-kh]

What's the story with you and riku i'm curious e.e (if you don't want to answer it's ok) love all of your imagines headcanon 💜

Ooooohhhh I didn’t expect somebody will ask…! I’m touched! Big big hug to you!

But boi, you don’t know what you’re asking because isn’t just about my ship.

Be ready for a long ride full of bad english, plot hole, research, meta, drama, personnal life and headcanons in a bad long “summary” (I’m not good at that).

Note : It started back in 2002 so yeah, it’s old, some stuff don’t work anymore, it’s for that there is so much plot-hole etc.

/!\ Warning :depression(s), school harassment, scarification, toxic relation(ship), rape, self-indulgent story and a lot of OCs I will not explain here

[KH1]

My (ex) bestfriend, “Elaine”, and myself fall into the Kingdom Hearts Universe when we were 13 years old. I hesitate to explain it by : because there is so much Creators in our wolrd it connected our universe to the KH one or just never explain it.

In all the case, we fall in Destiny Islands before the start of the game and I dream about the stained-glass place (I remember the french name but not the english one right now, oops)

I’m already in love with Riku but he doesn’t care, the only moment he talk to us is for confront us on the fact he knows we came from another world (I asked Elaine to shut up about it though)

No surprise, Elaine and myself started to follow Sora in his adventure : Elaine use magic and I… Still no surprise, I have a Keyblade.

Elaine and me finally explain to Sora we (or more me) know almost everything because he’s a video-game character for us.

Young and foolish, I try to help Riku but it’s no use : he sees us like ennemis, there is just place for Sora and Kairi. In the same time, Yno tries to push me to use more and more the darkness and it’s work well.

Yno is one of my oc, here I will just summarized by : he’s a darkness’ controler, native from my imaginary world (ParaHell, but I want to change the name) and he’s a video-game character… He can broke the “rules” like he wishes. Oh, and one of his power is to literally read heart and manipulate darkness into them (but can’t force darkness in my heart because I’m a Creator)

Yno want me to become his personal bodyguard Heartless with a Keyblade.

When Riku and Sora close Kingdom Hearts’ door, Yno propose to Elaine and me to take us back in our universe if I become his “apprentice”.

This is with a big smile I accept because still young and foolish, I think I can resist to the darkness

[KH :CoM]

Ok, here it’s messy and short because I’m working on it.

But “I” will accompany Riku most of the time, explaining to him what’s happening (without spoiler, my cart!self broke the “rules” but not too much) in each “worlds”.

When he finally sees me between two “worlds” (again, I don’t remember the english name), he’s sure I broke the “rules” again… But it’s when my cart!self is invoked in the next “world” he understand I’m the true one. I’m offended at how stupid he remember me but finally I give up : it’s not a surprise.

He sees how much I already changed in 3 years (for me) and how much I smell darkness. But he can’t say anything because he himself fall into the darkness and he thinks he have no right to give me lesson.

I want to be more active in this part of the story (and met my baby boy Repliku) but I didn’t decide anything yet

[KH : 358/2 Days]

This part is more about another OC (Kaly) but I will include I saw Riku at least one time.

It will be a peaceful discussion actually. Where he’s ashamed about all the shit he does to me and me just… Tired.

Between KH1 and KH2, I suffer from school harassment by the students and the teachers. It result a really hard and long depression who destroy me. I scarified myself, wanted to die, I become agoraphobic, my lack self-confident was exacerbated by my toxic relation with Elaine whom I developped a sort of Stockolm syndrom. I hated myself so hard that even my imaginary universe, ParaHell, become a unsafe place. Elaine created a character, Dark, whom was a outfall (outlet?) for her perverted side and I let her to decide he raped me. Many time. It was a love-hate relationship and even I knew it was bad, I was happy to be “special” for her, for him in a way. I felt desired when I had the sensation the whole universe was against me.

The reason of why I’m still here today it’s because I wanted to know what happened to the love of my life : Riku.

So now with that in mind, can you imagine the atmosphere in this meet up?

Two person who are tired.

But one is fighting… And the other let themself drowning into the darkness…

[KH2]

Like many time, I run away from Yno’s training and fall into the KH Universe (because I’m not concentrate when I create a darkness portal)

It’s been 4 years for me since I saw Sora and he doesn’t really like what I become : introvert, mentally tired, not smiling that much, secretive and use a lot of darkness attack.

At this point, I don’t use my Keyblade anymore and told him it desapears.

That’s a lie.

In my mind at this point is a Keyblade isn’t strong enough and reject this “weakness”.

Mostly, in this episode, I play the spy for Riku and everytime I smell his darkness, I come to him and report him how Sora’s doing. I see myself like a tool for him, but I can see Riku so I’m happy like that. 

We become more close with time but Riku is still ashamed at how he was with me and he doesn’t forgive himself for so much stuffs…

We both are not in a good mind for love. But we finish to open to each other because we see ourself in the other but complete each other in the same time.

Yno, whom was keeping an eye on me notice I started to feel better and it wasn’t good for him…

So he take Dark and put him in my way.

Sora (and Riku) will see my Heartless form for the first time and how I become a beast.

And now I’m not sure for the next. I go away and coming back later, ashamed, or Riku save me when Dark tries to “touch me” or I kick Dark ass and I “fight” with Sora because he’s scared I finish like Riku. I didn’t decided yet. The next time I see Riku it certainly finish by a “fight” because of the same reason.

Next, the akwardness in The World That Never Was. I don’t really need to told you why.

When Sora and Riku fight against Xemnas, I will fight against Yno… And let him put darkness in my heart for not feeling pain anymore.

Riku and Sora will kick his ass and save me and we go in the Realm of Darkness.

I didn’t decided yet of the discussion and stuffs but at the end, right before the Door of Light appears, I decide to let them…

Because I don’t know how much I will survive anymore, it’s my last chance…

I steal a kiss from Riku before jumping in a darkness’ portal and go to ParaHell where I join Yno… Again… (but I become moar a king-brat)

[Between KH2 & Re:Coded]

This is where is the most meta stuffs happen and where I finally be a couple with him… But that’s not that simple.

After a moment to live alone in my house at ParaHell, the solitude take me even if I have two “babies” (two darkness being I created) ; Yane and Nehaki, and the personification of my imagination; Kea.

So I decided to create the Destiny trio into ParaHell with the same age difference we had at the start : Riku two years older than me, Sora and Kairi one year older …

But I erased their memories about me.

I’m ashamed of what I was, how they maybe hope to see this dead me coming back. I didn’t wanted them to remember I had a Keyblade.I didn’t wanted Riku to remember the kiss.

And it worked.

But if I draw my imagination with a (chimera) body it’s because I have problem to control them and Kea didn’t forget my story. So… The heart of the trio remembered me. Their emotions toward me are the same as before.

Sora and Kairi didn’t mind, they’re friendly, but Riku that was different. He was suspicious and the fact I was uneasy around him give him the impression I was hiding something.

Finally, he’s attracted to me and his heart is on ease but doesn’t know why.

With time and a lot of night discussion, we become closer again like before, enough for him to tell me his story during a thunder night. We become friends.He discovers he love to cook because he have time to relax. Riku propose to me to train with him and Sora but I always refused.

They discover fast that I’m a Creator and they’re fictionnal characters for me, etc. I didn’t decided to how, but�� With the “alternative universe” explaination, the new pass well.

But naturally, they can’t stay at ParaHell forever and want to go back to Destiny Islands, in paticular for continue their studies.

This is heartbroken I create a Gummi Shop.

What I didn’t expect is that they ask me to come with us, at least to see their world.

Creators like me have control in ParaHell (I will not explain to you all the rules here) ut I didn’t know if the fact that I erased their memories will stay outside of ParaHell.

It weakened my power on them but didn’t broke it.

This is there I met Riku’s parents for the first time. I headcanon that he is from a rich family, which explain why he looks so mature and stoic when he’s a child and pedant when he was younger (and I don’t talk about the freaking balcony in the manga I don’t take like Canon, but still). His parents are not really open people and expect Riku to be like them. Riku feel traped in this family.We discuss about it later and I told him that I made life choice my parents don’t like but they finally agree because it make me happy.

I’m myself, not they’re clone so we’re not always on the same page.

I go back to ParaHell with the promesse to keep contact with them thanks to mobiles I give them.

I will go back to Destiny Islands later, probably for a event or so and Riku confess it become difficult to live with his parents. So I propose to him to come back to ParaHell and live with me.

Finally, we agree to a sort of compromise : during school day he stays with his parents but week-end and holidays he comes back to ParaHell with me where he can be… Himself.

Now it’s messy because I didn’t decided yet in which order I will do that but I will met Mickey etc, give them mobiles, Riku met Yno and Dark and his heart remember he hates them. Riku discover my training with Yno always finish badly for me, that I’m what I call “half Heartless”.He tries to convince me to choose the way of light but I explain to him that because I’m a Creator nothing extreme can happen to me without my consent and so, I will not become a full Heartless.

I have a sex friend, Malish (another oc of mine) whom is helping me to be… Well, to “appreciate” sex again and loving more my body…But Malish starts to have feeling for me, become jealous of Riku who starts to feels something for me too… But interiorize it because we are both male.

In the first version of this (back in 2006 or so) Axel, Roxas and Namine (who remember me) was there but because of what happen in the next games, I decided to erase that. In this version, Riku tries to be a couple with Namine but finally understand he doesn’t like girls.But because I don’t put Namine and cie in ParaHell anymore, I don’t know if I’ll create another oc just for that or…

By the way, actually it’s : I stop my relation with Malish because I understand he loves me (which he doesn’t react good and fight with Riku because he thinks it’s his fault) and I want to confess to Riku. But Riku starts a relation with a girl. When he brokes with her and decides to confess it’s my turn to be in couple…

With Elaine.

But it didn’t go long and didn’t end well… That was just to be “special” for me (jealous I had others friends) but she didn’t want to kiss me in public, just at school where we were together etc. It was just possessiveness. We broke (long shitty story) and I felt she wanted to broke our friendship too (I’m still friend with my ex, so it was obvious for me we can still be friends, in paticular when nothing serious happen between us).I panicked. It was impossible for me to see my life without her even if I knew our relation was toxic for me. I did everything to trying to keep her at my side (years later I can tell you I was stifing because I was so desperate to loose her)… Even propose to her to be a couple with Dark.This went on for a half of a school year.During it, I was clingy to Riku, begging hug in silence or the opposite, hidding like a wounded animal. In both case, Riku was there, telling me to broke with her and was supportive. Finally, she wait the vacancy for doing it.I was full of rage, feeling betrayed, especially because she did it in a shitty way and scared if all the school will going to her side and suffer from school harassment again. I saw her everyday. She tries to return all the students against me, she lies that I erase all of her websites and she tries to steal the friend who was the most close to me right in front of me.

I did a depression again.

But this time, It was a depression where I was unable to do anything, even thinking about ParaHell.

So it’s some months later I come back to ParaHell, a little better but still mentally fragile. And discover that Riku take a appartment and leave my house. Still emotionally unstable, I go to his new adress, angry, but when I saw him… I wasn’t angry anymore. Just sad. We talked a little bit and finally, Riku drop the sentence :

“It becameimpossible for me to live with you anymore”

I understood that like my love for him became stiffing for him and emotion overflow me. I ask forgivness to be in love with him, that I understand he leave and if he doesn’t want to see me anymore, I’m okay with that. And without looking at him, without waiting a answer, I leave his appartment.

But further in the town, he starts to hunt me with a angry face.

So I was assumed he actually didn’t know about my feeling for him and he’s actually homophobic and… I… Panicked. And run in the opposite direction. It didn’t stop Riku and finally, he catch me at my house.(I wrote that part for a selfshipping right there if you want, it’s short)

Finally we fight a little bit because he’s offended that I think he was able to hurt me and me screaming that it was impossible for me to think otherwise because of his mad face. I ask him, always yelling, why he was chasing me and him telling me at the same volum he hates that when I run away after telling something important. So I yell like it wasn’t because of my feeling he take a appartment.And him respond in the heat of the moment that he was because of his feeling.

Yup, it’s like that we confess to each other.

After that it’s more a classic romantic story. A lot of cute moment, akward at the beginning because we both never have couple experience, nsfw moment too.Hard moment too because of Riku’s parents at least too. 

Right now, I really hesitate to put Master Xehanort and Vanitas after that… ParaHell is a big timeless crossover universe and I prepare to do the past of Yno into this (and another ocs). Because Yno is a video-game character and myself a Creator, we both can “broke the rules” so going in the past, in Birth By Sleep Timeline. And Yno is enough of a moron to drag Master Xehanort and Vanitas in ParaHell sometimes. So I hesitate.

[ Re:Coded ]

I recieve a message from King Mickey who ask me to come to his Castle alone. I’m not surprise because I know about the Journal…

Until I see my young myself on the screen.

The Journal had saved some data of me.

My data!self have a Keyblade, remember his name and know some things he’s not supposed to. And he glitch (I don’t know yet if I do this design like a Bug or not).

Mickey asks if it’s me and why the Journal have that.

I don’t know yet how to really do this “adventure” but one thing is sure. The Journal will reveal my past and…

I decide to return their memories back.

Riku didn’t really appreciate I play this game for so long… But finally, we’re more close than before.

[ KH : DDD & … ]

In the first version of this part, one of my closed friend I was considerate like my daughter back then was supposed to do the Examen with the boys and me (me with Riku, and them with Sora) but finally, we’re older and we see ourself like platonic soulmate now and they’re not really into KH so… I don’t know what to do anymore. I have another oc (daughter of the oc who pass the power of the Keyblade to me) maybe it’s a good occasion to give her a interesting story but for that I need to include her earlier probably…

Anyways, I’m with Riku and without darkness I’m weak and I’m forced to use my Keyblade. Which make me really uneasy and unhappy. Riku think this is a good occasion to me to take the way of light but I think otherwise.

I didn’t think that much about this part of the story too. There is a lot of plot hole isn’t?

But we’re still together, we still flirt with each other and we’re still in love…!

Now if you read all of this, first bravo, next sorry for the bad english and the not so summarized story and… Go to my main tumblr and send “speculoos” + what you want me do to and I will do a sketch of whatever you want. You deserve a cookie.

[that-shipper-type-fangirl]

Everything anon wanted to know and wasn’t afraid to ask part 2 :D

request

WH:

MC: In general, I can't really identify myself with her; she's a pure young girl while I'm a rotten, pervert woman :"D However, in the second seasons (at least as far as I read them) - she improved so much! Not like a woman though, but a wizard, but that's also nice to see, I'm so proud of our little Lizzie now ^^ <3Elias: Such a cutie. I love cuties. Though I also like bossy guys too so I can’t decide if I like him or Klaus more. No, please, just don’t ask me to decide! >_< Luca: I have that headcanon that he’s bisexual. Is it okay that despite this, I find him hot!? It’s not that I like every bad boy, but he has special… circumstances. Have I ever mentioned how obsessed I’m with royal guys? Oh, maybe just a thousand times. Yukiya: I’d like him anyway, but as he was the very first character I played in WH, he’ll be always special to me <3 Yeah, I’m a bit sentimental and I always remember the first characters in games like my first loves xD But I must mention one more thing: I want to meet his family! I don’t remember how many siblings he has, but it doesn’t matter anyway. I’m sure I say regularly, but I have a strong attraction to older brothers… Randy: his story is my favorite, but he’s not my favorite guy. Is it a contradiction? I don’t think so. His story is complex, tragic, full of mysteries at first, it was interesting to read. But as a guy… of course, he’s cute but I always thought I’d rather be his best friend. Stuffing our heads with sweets, doing crazy things, having fun etc. instead of romantic interactions. I don’t have any problem with him as a guy, I’m just not sure if there is enough chemistry between us like lovers. Azusa: he’s a misunderstood character! How can anyone say that he’s a jerk? There IS a difference between being a jerk just because why not, and being a jerk because he’s deceived, broken-hearted, mentally unstable because of several personal reasons. He’s not a bad person, he’s a good person manipulated by bad things. I don’t agree that it’s okay to act like him in a relationship! But hey, MC heals his heart, isn’t it still a great story? :) Klaus: asdfghasdf I’m horny… Okay, now he IS an actual jerk. He acts like he does because of his own decisions, not because he is manipulated by something. But… can’t we be optimistic just a little bit? I mean okay, he’s strict, but let’s see the good side of this: MC needed that strictness. Joel: I constantly have two things in my mind everytime I see him. 1st: when he appears in another guy’s route, a piece of my heart dies. Seriously. How sad can it be to see your love of life with another guy, without her remembering you? T_____T I can’t bear it… 2nd: in his own route… he wants MC to look him like a guy, without comparing him to June. Can you imagine how much thirst he has to prove his manliness? Every time he kisses MC, his kiss must be deep and passionate. When he makes love to her, he must show off all his skills as a man, and as he waited years for her, I don’t think he can hold himself back, he’s very possessive… but at the same time, as he loves deeply MC, he constantly fights with his selfish desires as he tries not to hurt her… awww I’ve already written Joel lemon, but I want more… T__T Vincent: Handsome and confident, but not jerk, protective and supports MC. The hottest of all the hotties! Haters, please just stop talking about his old he is… because he’s not old! Of course, he’s not a boy, but not being a boy doesn’t mean that he’s old! Anyway, I think he resembles mostly a real-life guy. He’s not a psycho, not tsundere, not a total bad boy, still, he’s not that all lovey-dovey romantic prince type. I personally think that most of the guys are like this: they don’t fall in love so easily as girls, needs some motivating to accept their own feelings, but it doesn’t mean they are all bad people. And Vincent… I can totally understand his way of thinking about love after hearing his about his past. And I’m very-very proud of myself that I could hold back my fangirling for his uniform until the end of the paragraph. LET THE FANGIRLING BEGIN!!! Leon: Well, I found his story lovely and emotional, and he is an interesting character. Not because of his race, but it’s interesting to see how he learns about emotions and tries to be a better person. Still… my body reacts better for guys like Klaus or Vincent, I’m sorry >_< But my platonic love will never fade, don’t worry my sweet angel! <3 /friendzoned Cerim: I like knights or knight-like guys in general. But it’s more important to talk about how MC got stronger in his route. I really like how she tries his best to share his burden, now she’s not just a damsel in distress. I like Cerim’s story, but I’m afraid my deepest crush in this mystery series is Guy… >_< Saella and MC were more interesting in his story than he, the main character itself. Also, the way how he looks isn't my type of guy. Well, it happens, not all the otome game guys are my type xD Guy: Can we stop for a moment to talk about how cute he is? He has his own problems due to his family, yet he doesn't act like a jerk (or like Luca xD) Despite his problems, he's cheerful and he doesn't treat MC like a piece of trash, moreover, he's sweeeeeet :3 He's a really good boyfriend material :)Glenn: His story was okay with the mystery around his village, but the way how he constantly friendzones MC made me tired. I know he doesn't do it on purpose, still it killed the chemistry between us. Sorry babe :* Leslie: He looks like Luca with brown hair. His personality is not the same, fortunately (yeah, I'm a fangirl of Luca, yet I admit he's awful xD) But even if he's not totally a copy-paste, his route didn't leave a very deep impression on me. Yeah, it was averagely entertaining, but I didn't feel when I finished that "OMG how will I recover from this love?" *shrugs* Sigurd: I like that type of character who you get to know only slowly. There are many layers, stories and feelings under the surface he shows to the world. He's a well-written character who managed make me forget how I started to get bored of WH recently.Mel: Younger than MC but looks older, clueless about love but a genius in his field... if he had dark hair, he would be literally my fiancée :"D Beside the sadist guys (like Raymond or Klaus), my other type is the "shota", I'd corrupt these cuties :3

Amelia: I ask her route from Santa again and again. It will never happen, but I won’t give up. She’s supporting, cheerful and not lame if the topic is love… ;-) Sometimes I ship her with different guys, but my main ship of hers will be always she x MC :D Ronny and Chica: they wanted to be cute side-kicks like Taffy - they turned out to be annoying :/ They have good moments though, but I say they aren't so original and funny like Taffy. Headmaster Randolph: he’s always a mystery to me, sometimes he looks like he’s something omniscient being on the Academy, and sometimes he doesn’t know about stuff. But doesn’t matter, I think he’s a great teacher; I wish I could have teachers like him… :/ Prof. Merkulova: I can’t understand what SWD did with him. There is a character. We don’t have many teachers in the school in the game, but he is one. Girls like him. He has dark secrets. And still, he rarely gets attention! I’m not especially his fangirl, I don’t say I wish they would release his route, but he is an interesting character so he could have gotten more role. Prof. Schuyler: ohohohohoho, this is my topic ;-) My opinion about him? *throws feelings into the crowd, here, have all of my feelings* He keeps his words and tries his best to protect the one who was important to someone important. I try not to say spoilers so word repetition FTW xD Loyal guys are hot! Also, I don’t think he could be one of the three mages, a royal attendant wizard or such a skilled teacher if he wouldn’t be smart. Strong wizards are hot! He never joined the dark side. Unwavering guys are hot! And why do some people say he’s not good-looking? He’s a badass guy with quite a difficult past, of course, he has a strict expression on his face! Though I’m curious about his smiling or soft face too… Argh, I’m so fckng hopeless! Months ago I wrote: "I’m not sure how long I can hold back to write a sequel to the Schuyler fanfic I wrote" Now let me announce: since it's time for sequels, something is on the way here too... ;)

[soap-brain]

Haha I'll give you a happy prompt ( there's never enough spirk in this world ) : Spock realizes his feelings for Jim and just completely FREAKS OUT ( in a "this isn't logical this human spends 99% of his time finding new ways of annoying me SURAK HELP ME" way ). So he starts avoiding Jim ( like, puts himself on beta shift, pratically runs everytime they're in the same room because my poor boy is traumatized) and oc, Jim is NOT happy about Spock's behavior. I guess this could be a "wtf" prompt XD

... but i finally finished it. god, i’ve been studying so much the past few days, and then i accidentally wrote You Always Meet Twice and ... yeah, i know.

anyways. finally!!

since @shamanship requested “TOS Spirk get together”, I filled both prompts in one.

Under the cut: EmotionsShip: TOS SpirkRating: GenWordcount: 1529

Pesky Human Emotions

The first thing Spock notices about his new superior officer is that he has a pleasant voice.

Over the years he notices many things - James Kirk has kind eyes, gentle hands, an intriguing sense of humor, he’s intelligent, witty, communicates well, has a variety of interests.

Spock gets hurt on an away mission - not badly, and he is fully capable of suppressing the pain until they are back on the Enterprise. Captain Kirk, however, is extremely worried and demands Spock to beam up straight away.

    “I didn’t want to see you in pain, Spock,” he says as an explanation, with a smile Spock has noted Kirk seems to frequently employ around him.

The first time Spock fails to complete an assignment on time he is, for lack of a better word, ashamed. Idly he wonders whether another Vulcan, a full-blooded one, would not have failed. He also wonders what Captain Kirk’s reaction will be. Certainly there will be a punishment of sorts; after all, Spock’s work is of high importance for the Enterprise.

    “God, Spock, are you okay?” is what Kirk says when he answers to Spock’s call. “Look, for all you say you didn’t catch that weird strain of the flu - I want you to report to medbay and have Dr McCoy check you over. Your work can wait. Your health is more important for the Enterprise - for me - than a report.”

Incidents like such repeat themselves. Kirk also frequently invites Spock to his quarters for dinner. He is a good conversationalist and it is pleasant to talk with him. He also shows himself interested in Vulcan culture, asking intelligent questions but not pressing.

They take up chess eventually and Spock finds himself looking forward to their regular matches. Kirk portrays an exemplarily positive attitude towards Spock, even going so far as to tease him on occasion, which Spock understands is a display of affection.

    “I trust you,” Kirk says one day during a very delicate away mission. Spock’s plan, which he had had to start without having explained it to the captain, ends up saving the entire team. It is something Spock could and should be proud of. Instead all he can think about is that Captain Kirk trusts him.

They are sitting chained in a dungeon of a lesser evolved race that caught them during a mission that was supposed to be simple observation. The cave-like structure is cold, even more so since they have had their uniform shirts taken away. Kirk fell asleep eventually, but Spock is too cold and too uncomfortable to do so. Instead, he analyzes their surroundings. After there is nothing more to see, he observes Kirk. It is certainly not news that the Human is physically attractive. He has a great many desirable features - a healthy, golden skin color, shining golden hair, kind brown eyes, broad shoulders, a well-muscled torso, strong hands … a pleasing face, too. He is also a man of good character. Spock can count himself lucky (if he did believe in luck) to serve under a man like him.

    “Call me Jim. We’re off-duty.” Jim. It sits easy on his tongue. Of course Spock would never call him that on duty.

Jim laughs easily, and Spock finds he enjoys finding ways of making him laugh.

They huddle for warmth on an icy planet, and Spock finds that Captain Kirk - Jim has a pleasant smell. He is also tactile, but Spock finds he does not mind being touched by him. He is getting rather attached to his captain, to an extent where he begins wondering what Jim is doing when he is not in the room with Spock.

He walks in on Jim just stepping out of the shower one afternoon. It is the first time this happened, even though they have shared a bathroom the entire time Spock is serving on the Enterprise. Jim laughs and tells him not to worry about it. Spock does not worry, he merely … cannot stop thinking about the Human naked.

In fact, he cannot stop thinking about Jim at all, missing a touch moments after Jim took it away, subconsciously standing closer to him, even initiating touches himself. He finds himself drawing chess games out far longer than necessary, often forfeiting winning.

Jim Kirk is prone to ripping his shirt. Spock wishes he were even more careless with his uniform. It is fascinating to watch him work out, as the workout clothes do sit quite well on him.

Spock begins delivering each report on its own, simply so he has an excuse to see Jim more often. It is becoming extremely distracting. Jim need only smile at him, and Spock is infinitely more happy for the rest of the day.

It has to stop.

Spock begins meditating each night as opposed to only once per week, attempting to control himself. The cracks in his façade are becoming unseemly and unprofessional. He almost smiles at Jim, actively attempts to touch his fingers because of the thoroughly enjoyable sensation it produces, even goes so far as to make up scenarios that would somehow involve either of them having to embrace the other.

But meditation seems to make it worse. While at first it rebuilds Spock’s cool exterior, his slightly changed behavior is making Jim pout, which is hardly something he can resist thinking about. It is - cute, for lack of a better word.

It is during one of his communications with his mother that some things begin to make sense.

    “You know, Spock, you’ve told me an awful lot about that Jim of yours. When am I going to meet him?”

    “‘Meet him’, mother?”

She looks almost affronted. Perhaps an Earth emotion Spock is not too familiar with. “Why, yes of course. I thought a mother had the right to meet her son-in-law.”

     “Mother, I am afraid you are misunderstanding. He is not - we are not - romantically involved.”

     “But you like him so much. Tell me, Spock, can’t you stop thinking about him? About his eyes, perhaps, his voice, his touch? Does your heart begin beating faster when he’s around? Do you want to stand closer to him, embrace him, perhaps? Do you wish to spend more and more time with him?”

Spock can only stare. “I have not … told you any of these things …”

    “And yet I know? Spock, what you are feeling isn’t friendship anymore … it’s love.”

Love. That is unacceptable. And since it only appeared after prolonged exposure to J- to Captain Kirk, it is only logical that it will fade over time if Spock lessens the exposure.

He requests being put on beta shift the next morning. Kirk looks like he is experiencing - an emotion, but he agrees.

Furthermore, there is no point in Spock turning in every report by hand. Submitting them virtually works just as well. And with his new interest in botany it is crucial that Spock spends a great amount of time in the laboratories. There is no time for chess.

Kirk accepts that. He does however come to the botany labs quite often to enquire about the status of Spock’s current project, and Spock does not always have the heart to turn him away. It makes him look … sad. Spock does not like it.

    “I know it’s only been a month since we last talked but - Spock, what’s wrong?”

    “Nothing, mother.”

    “Is that so? You look sad. Is everything okay?”

    “Affirmative.”

    “He turned you down, didn’t he? Oh, darling, I am so sorry.”

    “I beg your pardon, mother, but I do not understand.”

    “Well, you told him about your feelings, and he doesn’t reciprocate them, does he? Your captain.”

    “That must have been a misunderstanding. I do not hold any feelings other than loyalty towards Captain Kirk.”

    “Spock. Don’t lie to your mother. Please.”

    “Very well. Mother, you must understand that it is improper of me to desire anything other than friendship from my captain. Furthermore, I cannot allow myself the vulnerability of giving in to base instinct. Forgive me, but I am not human. And I have no desire to be.”

    “No, of course not. But - Spock, do yourself a favor. Do me a favor. Tell him. If he doesn’t feel the same way, he’ll without doubt let you down gently and you’ll have closure. But if he does feel the same, you’ll forever regret not taking the opportunity. It’s simple. Tell him your feelings towards him are more than platonic. He’ll understand.”

    “I - mother, I am unsure whether that is the correct way to go about things.”

    “He’s human. Of course it is. Now go. He’s just next door, isn’t he? Go over there and tell him. You were brave enough to be the first Vulcan in Starfleet, you can do this. It’s just a couple words. Trust him, Spock.”

Spock does.

Spock ends the call and stands up, leaving his quarters and requesting entrance at Jim’s.

    “Spock!” The Human’s eyes are soft and there’s a smile on his lips. “Come in! What can I do for you?”

Spock takes a deep breath.

i hope this was more or less what you were looking for :p

sorrynotsorry for the cliffhanger

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Everything Tag List: @bottomkirk @gumballgladiator @sixclawsdragon  @logicheartsoul @kagenightray @jimothyandspocko @logicallythyla @needles-and-ink @headcanonsilove @i-am-a-real-human-being @fallenpiestiel @skyeries @alanna342 @shamanship @startrektrash @lesbiantasha

prompts are err... technically still open, i’m just slow af :p but still, please shoot something my way!