#everytime i think i have free time
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break from outdoor work moment
#everytime i think i have free time#it is spent recovering from the HEAT#just gotta outlast this for an hour or two and thatll be job done#then its art time 🙏#likely deviantart catch up time too. and discord messages i couldnt read this morning.#computer game installs too. though i left em overnight. 5mb/s should be good enough by the time i get home#anyways it is HECKIN FLAMES 🔥🔥🔥🔥#i should mention the specific house being worked on is a big two floor one#obviously the garage is spacious because of this. obviously its fun to imagine holly hijinks before needing water again
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Vaggie: Alastor can you watch the eggs their being....eggs and I have to- just take them off my hands
Alastor: ooo i certainly will....
Vaggie:.....in a peaceful manner. Alastor.
Alastor: mmm well that's less fun, also why should I watch them?
Vaggie: well you're going to some meeting and I have to help charlie-
Alastor: didn't she excuse you from your duties for today?
Vaggie:...why would she- why would I ask for that??
Alastor: why, you have to come to this meeting to my dear!
Vaggie: no I dont?? It's an overlord meeting I'm not an overlord-
Alastor: but you are!
Vaggie: if anything charlie should probably be going with you rather then me- what what??
Alastor: I'll explain on the way! *just fucking leaves*
Vaggie: wha- alastor! Alastor I swear to the lord you better explain!
Alastor: hmmm, well you're an overlord my dear I don't think there's anything else TO explain
Vaggie: right...but I'm NOT an overlord??
Alastor: I beg to differ, I knew there was something off about you but couldn't place it until Charlie said something
Vaggie: Charlie- what does- okay you know what? You're insane. I'm going to go talk to Charlie myself!
Alastor grabs her shirt collar like a kitten: ah-ah-ah you have a meeting to attend my dear! It's be bad manners if you skipped it, whoch I suppose you've been skipping them for the past 5 or so years?
Vaggie: No, I haven't! and let go of my you asshole!
Alastor: hmmm no I don't think I will~ come on now! We're already half way there!
Vaggie: ugh, at least tell me how you and xharlie think I'm an overlord- which I'm NOT by the way!
Alastor: well...do you remember that sinner you saved? The one you had a slat with and ended uo teaching self defense?
Vaggie: how do you-....ah, charlie- what does that have to do with anything??
Alastor radio noise of displeasure: well, APPARENTLY they told more demons, you DO remember the large influx of demons who came to you right?
Vaggie: I.....I um....yeah....
Alastor: well they said they owed you 'favors' correct?
Vaggie:....fuck.
Alastor: they gave you their souls until said favor is called upon! You not using it has apparently given you the reputation of a very lenient overlord, a defensive and protective one at that! So more people cane to you, you trianed them in defense and most gave you their souls so you could call upon them for a favor at a time of your choosing!
Vaggie: going through the 5 stages of grief trying to process it all
Alastor: On top of that, the other overlords seem to be threatened by the fact you have so many souls and demons going to you WILLINGLY, you not showing up to meetings and beong little morningstars girlfriend doesnt help that either!So this will be a fun first meeting~
Vaggie: no no no no no nope! Alastor, you let me go right this second! I am not- no! Alastor! Alastor!!!
Zestial: Alastor and...oh the defensive Overlord nice to meet you again nd to finally meet you
Vaggie: ¿¡Quién diablos es esta araña joder!? (Who the hell is this spider fuck!?)
Part 1 | Part 2(here!!) | Part 3
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel vaggie#hazbin hotel charlie#hazbin hotel alastor#chaggie#accidental overlord vaggie au#i feel like Al would be pissed at vaggie knowing charlie told him#he lieks to seem mroe powerful/high and mighty and he cant bw that if she knows he gets info form other people#hes very smug at Vaggies panic though#charlie meanwhile already misses her girlfriend#Nifty throwing herself off the roof doesnt help#hazbin hotel overlord#the egg boizs are having a grand old time though#i used google translate for the Spanish part im sorry if its wrong-#i wanted vaggie to say “who the hell is this spider fuck!?” but everytime i tried it always ended up as something different#i tried for like 1p minutes#i THINK i got it down but im not sure if the '!?' changes any words/symbols#translator says it does but im not 100% how right it is so- if its not that then its 'who the hell is this fucking spider' which still work#not to important i guess lol#diablos actually mgiht mean devil and inferno hell but uh....its- its fine#any spanish speakers feel free to correct me😅
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not saying the holocaust wasn't bad. but i need people to understand that it wasn't the only genocide that happened in the same period of world history. not because i want you to pay less attention to holocaust but because i need you to ask why it's the only one we ever talk about. it wasn't the longest occured massacre of a marginalized group, it wasn't the most gruesome, it wasn't the one with the most casualties, it wasn't the first and it wasn't the last one. i need people to think about why we didn't pay much attention to all the other holocausts after WWII that happened simultaniously and were just as horrible. it says so much about media, the news we are fed, and that our empathy is BOUGHT by the same people that keep funding genocides all over the world.
#i didn't grow up in the west-#-so everytime i watch a movie where the characters comically try to avoid saying the word 'nazi' because it's so offensive i'm like.... huh#how are you as an american suggest that being a nazi is the most evil thing a human can be but describe america as the land of the brave?#for many people hitler is the face of evildoing but every single european leader at the time engaged in similar activities#and this is not to say we shouldnt condemn nazis or whatever. god no#i get a lot of asks (some very rude by the way) from people who think i'm an antisemite because i'm... muslim?#dunno how yall think that makes sense but no. i learned about the holocaust from my very muslim mother.#who then gavw me anne frank's diary to read#holocaust has always been a topic we talked about at home. it had a lot tell about the western world#but we didn't have the same 'dont speak of it or you'll get cancelled' type of mindset#i believe that's because it wasn't the only genocide we learned and talked about#it holds so much weight in the western world because you think it's this very out of the blue thing that happened only once in history.#that tells even more about the western world#thoughts#freepalestine#free palestine#free congo#free sudan#free uyghurs#boycott israel
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me, stupidly and weirdly resistant to listening to audio books vs reading a physical book for no real reason: man i wish there was a way to like, read a book while i crochet like i do with tv shows and movies and podcasts
#toy txt post#my reasons are irrational you dont need to try to talk me into it. i KNOW#its very silly of me#imagine how much reading i could get done. but alas. Feels Bad#even listening to a more. uh. Story type podcast or fiction like nightvale was a bit difficult to start for me. i like nightvale now i#listened. but i worry that is clocking in my brain as an Exception 😔 maybe it would be easier if i tried some nonfiction books? scary#i also struggle with single host podcasts apparently even tho im also ehhhh on the kind where the structure is the host Interviewing a#different person everytime? maybe it would be okay with a nonfiction audiobook tho cos it would be getting read by a narrator and not sound#so much like a guy ranting into a mic which makes me feel a little insane. altho propaganda doesnt necessarily always sound like a guy#ranting into a mic so idk. i could probably make it through if i can find a nice book about like. parasitic worms. i could tolerate#feeling like im falling into sigma male affirmations videos for worms i think. wormffirmations are allowed#*to clarify i dont listen to those but listening to better offline makes me feel like im morphing into the kinda guy who does and i hate it#which feels unfair cos he is RIGHT and the podcast is good but i need there to be like a cohost there to break the tension of the Ranting#sometimes he has guests on? but its not quite the same#i think the format i like best is either like 2 or 3 regular cohosts discussing things within a specific topic#OR. 1 host whos like infodumping to the other host who knows nothing about the subject. OR. 2 hosts info dumping to each other about#different aspects of the subject. OR. 1 host who brings on fun guests to infodump to them about a subject. and then obviously the subject#needs to intrigue me. ex. sawbones well theres your problem (I HATE THAT THIS ONE IS BEST EXPERIENCED ON YOUTUBE😭 I WANT THEM TO JUST DUMP#ALL THE SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST SOMEWHERE AND I CAN CHECK IN AND FOLLOW ALONG THAT WAY WITHOUT HAVING TO HAVE MY PHONE SCREEN ON THE#WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!! but. im listening for free so its unreasonable to demand more of them BUT ALSO I FEEL LIKE JUST COPYPASTING ALL OF THE#SLIDES INTO A BIG BLOG POST ISNT THAT MUCH MORE EFFORT THAN EDITING A WHOLE YOUTUBE VIDEO? WAAAAAH. THEY DONT NEED TO BE TIMESTAMPED OR#ANYTHING JUST THROW EM IN ILL FIGURE IT OUTTTTTT#anyway. also more than 3 hosts is really pushing my ability to keep track of voices.#anyway: sawbones wtyp tpwky behind the bastards scam goddess#(which is true crime adjacent but focuses mainly on scams and isnt copaganda and laci is funny and cool)#common descent pod completely arbortrary maintenance phase if books could kill#deep sea podcast has more bringing ppl in to interview them about shit than i personally enjoy but i put up with it cos i do like the hosts#and the subject
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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX!!!!
#im genuinely trying. and its not working#everytime i have more than 1 day of complete free time inspiration hits me like a rogue wave#and like. love that#but it just starts another cycle. why is it so god damn hard to actually really and wholeheartedly relax and not feel guilty about it#anyway. im forcing myself to play dai today because i just got off a 3hour writing session#and you might think thats good but I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH#WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK THIS WHOLE TRASHCAN OF EMOTIONS IN#it is not one successive scene. its a series of observations over the course of a whole arc#i literally relaxed with my cozy little writing session to add more work for myself. do you see it. do you see my plight#fml#(it was really good though.)
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"Back by unpopular demand:"
"Us!"
#[*trips and falls to the ground like that one pepe frog meme but dramatically explodes into a million pieces instead* hi hi]#[i'll start by apologizing and thanking y'all for your patience bc wheew its been almost 2 months since my last post holy shittt]#[mental health along with intrusive thoughts and stuff have been absolute ass and still are right now]#[not gonna go into much detail bc i'm dealing with tons of bad stuff and negativity but yeah]#[at this point i aint even going to say 'im back!' bc everytime i do some even more terrible shit happens irl so naw]#[i also can't promise thread replies today bc i already know i'll likely not be able to finish any]#[but i will try to at least start working on some of them ;v;]#[other than that please feel free to send in stuff if you wish!]#[i haven't been around in so long that i feel completely rusty and out of the loop rn]#[but i think i'll start with the few asks i was unable to get to last time]#[if you guys who sent them see this: i'm sorry for the super looooong wait and thank you so much for your patience!!! <3]#[hope everyone's having a lovely day/night!!! <3]#;ic#(?#;ooc#(??#[the world will never truly know *x files music plays*]
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again the cutscene after lady lucktopus where Hollis actually gets down on raz’s level to speak with him when before that she’s always been talking down to him literally and figuratively is so good. Genuinely one of the top moments in the entire game.
#psychonauts#such a good fucking game man. if I had a nickel for everytime a story about a young psychic kid made me genuinely emotional I would have#2 nickels etc etc.#really hard to pick a favorite serious scene from that game but if I had to pick a funniest scene#that would go to ‘lili beats the shit out of gristol malik’ which is hysterical and lives in my head rent free#i think the best endorsement I can give of this game is I hate platforming games but psychonauts 2 is probably in my top 5 games of all time
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i really need to rewatch uwe before the upcoming season finale and properly gather my thoughts on it but i really really like the show! its goofy and cartoony style paired with a serious story about these warriors' souls stuck in an eternal war with the evil, the slight psychological horror of being used as hosts for said souls and almost completely discarded and disregarded (though it doesn't say too much about this, this is more my overthinking), the steampunk elements, the character designs, the voice acting... all of it. despite that i still have some irks with it, like the pacing. this show would've definitely benefited from having more episodes. for such a story heavy show 10 episodes doesn't feel enough. it worked with primal, genndy tartakovsky's previous show, because there was little to no dialogue there. it did an excellent job at making the viewer understand what was happening with mere facial expressions. but uwe characters have a lot to say, a lot to work out between each other. and it's clear tartakovsky wants to tell more. they need more episodes to do that. i hope the show gets renewed for a second season. i need everything that i'm extremely confused about to be addressed and cleared up
#the whole emmalinda thing! she's both of them and neither of them! which woman is taking the centre stage?#it's confusing. everyone calls her melinda. but she's not really herself#everytime she looks at her reflection emma's there instead. so emma is still in the ''backseat''#this emmalinda has both of the women's memories#she's an enigma to me#dimitri while heavily influencing edred's behavior is just. not there. chilling the background. rolling with whatever (free him 💔)#alfie and seng? i have no fucking idea half the time. they're like emmalinda to me#this whole thing is so confusing.... we need to see the other hosts shining through more. not just emma. just a bit. please. for my sanity#i don't care for the romance. at least now that they are they way they are. emmalinda isn't just one person#so her being pinned with either edred or winston doesn't feel right to me. ''is she into edred? is she into winston?''#yes and no! no and yes! she's two people!!!!! it's complicated!!!!!!!! forget the romance#it's fair to question their relationships status though considering everything (edred and melinda were lovers for eternity;#emma and winston were about to get married)#but man. whatever#WHY IS THE ELF KINGDOM JUST A FEW KILOMETERS AWAY FROM THE MAIN CITY. why are the elves that edred knew still alive#do they just live that long what the fuck#aelwulf is just going to be stuck pretending to be his brother for the rest of his life huh. that's fucked up. are they not gonna notice#this is a rambling mess isn't it. it's rare for me to go off like this in public i think. i usually keep that all in my head
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learning more abt helena bertinelli is realizing that her 1st suit + her year one suit is her best suit
#everytime i look at the jim lee suit i puke#LISTEN. i'm okay with sexy designs. it's just that. do u really think she would wear that#like surprise!!! u can't just make her wear something without thinking about it!!! it's called Character design for a reason#and also while @ it too you can Tell that he was trying to make her look sexy but holy fucking shit.#the costume is so fucking ugly that i just. can't find her hot in it.#the weird square croptop thing is smth i will forever hate < 3#like pick that or like. letting her legs be free ffs don't pick both#it's just such an ugly and busy design i genuienly do not like it in a design level#barely shows me what helena is all about + is a mess of random ass shit#it feels like he was throwing darts at a dartboard while trying to design her suit LMAOOOO#this is so mean and i feel so bad but i have to speak my truth (<-- alrdy talked about this multiple times)#dc#dc comics#helena bertinelli#also. as much as i love drawing curly haired folks i really like straight-haired helena. idk there's just smth about it.....
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waahahhh so many IF and VN that i follow gets an update lately and it makes me happy!!!!!!! BUT ALSO AT THE SAME TIME IM LIKE
im just furiously adding them to my read list rn oh god its growing. when will i find the free time i so yearn. IM NOT EVEN WORKING YET DHDJHFJEHJFIE
#you think after graduating and become unemployed I'd finally had more time to do what i want#WRONG HONK HONK#NOW MY PROBLEM IS ABOUT FIGURING OUT TF I WANNA DO EVERY DAY#and then Limbus Company took me by the throat#and now im trying to figure out the optimal timeslot for all my gachas so i can have an hour or two of free time#im dying#i havent even finished reading the Relics series gdi 😭#everytime i went I WANNA SEE ZHU my gachas drag me by the feet#AND THEN THERES THAT DRAWING BUCKET LIST I MADE THAT I HAVENT DONE OR TOUCH FOR A MONTH SINCE I MADE IT#dont do gachas#overlookingramble
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actually wanted 2 expand on dat joke thing more cuz it rly hurtful how ppl never consider others life situations when makin suhc jokes @_@
#i been called sensitive countless times over this n idc if it happen again#but like. idk. crazy take mebbe don bring ppls parents (by default. usually. closest loved ones someone can have) into yr petty online humor#esp when 99% of time it aint even.. funny. ouh but m biased!#either way. everytime someone made a yr m/m joke at me & i did The Big Reveal theres only 2 reactions: zero remorse n shrug it off a la#well i difn knowww how ya expect me 2 knowww or. ppl gettin disproportionately upset. but nawt focusin their energy on ever apologisin. jus#like. shamefully waddlin away & goin into hidin from me out of said shame#honesly? idk which one i find more offensive. it jus really stuns me dat ppl like us aint even an afterthought. we aint a thought at all#n if ppl wanna call us a party pooper n say we cant take a joke they r free 2#i jus think next time sm1 does dat shit. they WILL find out (since they fuckd arnd)#cuz ppl bringin up sm1s family in insultin contexts is taken as a serious threat & ppl get physical w mfs who think its ok 2 do dat#how r these jokes different? obviously no one ever fuckin thinks abt wat its like 2 nawt have a parent/parents#until it happens 2 em. well Heres a thing itll happen to everyone unless yr parents outlive ya. i jus gawt the early access beta free trial.#vent ish#i guess#vent#idk
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I love not posting my fics for a bit. I feel no pressure I am free of burden and obligation. I was gonna write tonight but I didn’t. I am a free man. There is no guilt only sleepy. I hold secret fics in my docs and you don’t get to see yet. Im not trying to force myself to post so I don’t feel bad when I don’t get writing done. I am here living my best life and snuggled up in bed
#it feels really good#everytime I think about it too hard it just feels soooooooo good#I am free from burdens#I want to post these fics but like#I also dont#bc I am fr just vibing here#I wanna share my wriring yknow? bc I like doing that#but im having a fun time#rambling#phever dreams with phantom
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Do I look cute under the microscope?
mutual enrichment
#tumblr culture seems like good practice for fighting some of my fear of being annoying#i think the site is built around being “obnoxious”#your followers see everytime you reblog something#so a conversation involving someone you follow shows up on your feed every time they add something#and that's by design#nowhere else has a culture that's okay with that#it's freeing#people will reblog their own posts to add more points in a way that seems almost like formatting instead of a way of getting seen more#y'know?#maybe I'm reading the vibe wrong idk#but as a person afraid of being observed or taking up space#there is something quite nice about an already existing culture and website built around doing that#I feel like I have permission to exist in a way that has seemed unattainable for a long time
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about to take a physics 2 test I didn't study for and have only done have the hw for pls send thoughts and prayers 🙏
#everytime i get a shitty score i remind myself i already know how to get food for free and i know how to manipulate mansplain gatekeep my#way through life so at any point i can quit engineering and become a business major or some shit#every time i see someone doing a subpar job or whatever i think. well. they have 3 kids. i could do that and sustain just myself. its pssble
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My gynecologist confusing me completely by not using raw violence this time, being overall quite nice, and first and foremost asking me to undressed from my waist Up?? Wtf?
#ok so maybe she just had a bad day last time but i totally got prepared for getting treated quite rudely again#oh no wait another thing that was new was the new medical assistant who checked me in#the old one was always such a mean bitch. this one was nice?#and then when i got to the doctor she (the doctor) actually said hello and asked me if everything was fine???#instead of immediately going 'undress back there.' which was what i was prepared to do so i just kinda awkwardly stood there#when she was like 'aw how are things? you're just here for a check up? everything else is okay? :D'#????? hello???#anyway then she went 'then you can undress from the waist down OR the waist up first :)'#and i was like?? so i did the waist down thing first since that's the only thing that's actually covered by insurance at my age?#and like i said. she didn't even use raw violence during the exam this time? what Was that???#and then again told me to get dressed again but i could take off my shirt now? so i AKSED in all the confusion#'you actually mean i should take off my shirt right? because i thought that's not covered before 30?'#'yeah yeah you're right but we'll do it anyway :)'#MY BRAIN CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS WTF IS GOING ON WITH HER???#anyway#no one asked about my weight either and it was overall a chill appointment#was way too 'scared' about this for months for nothing. (I'm not scared of the exam. i just didn't want to get treated like dirt again#but accepted that this was part of it so i was in a very bad mood everytime i thought of it so here we are. all this for nothing.)#(watch me go there next year again thinking it's probably gonna be chill but everyone will be mean and passive aggressive again lol)#void screams#i also didn't have to pay for the breast exam which i almost assumed because why the fuck would she do an exam for free???#ugh whatever#I'm still so confused#i have so much work now though
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I wish I lived on my own, cause when I tend to things that are bothering me rn I always get condescendinlgly thanked like I did it for her and it makes me want to not do anything ever.
Like no, literally if I knew you wanted it done I probably wouldn't have done it, you aren't nice to live with. And holy fuck stop dirtying every other dish in the house because you're mad I used like 2 and didn't imediately clean them. It's making me not eat because you leave me nothing to cook with all week every week.
#translation:#am mad I have to do NOT my dishes to eat everytime and am hungry#what part of I had to do everything at the trailer makes you think I want to be your housekeeper because you're mad I exist all the time#Ahhhhh#just leave the 2-3 things I dirtied for me if it's that deep and clean up after yourself#I'm not doing 20 dishes because you are mad about 2#...for free#I will do anything for money rn#i am miserable
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