#everything's just. better
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im coming up on my 6 month anniversary of starting testosterone and im feeling weirdly emotional over it
#just... wow#six months#starting T has been arguably one of the best decisions ive ever made#i haven't felt this happy in my body since i was a little kid#my dysphoria is so much better and even though i still obviously experience it it doesn't rule my life anymore#i feel better physically than i have in years and it's easier than ever to imagine a future for myself that i actually enjoy#everything's just. better#i don't know. i knew id be happy about transitioning but i didn't know it would improve my life THIS much
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The Afton kids deserved better in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#elizabeth afton#dave afton#David Afton#cc fnaf#fredbear#fnaf helpy#afton family#fnaf pizzeria simulator#fnaf 4#KEEPING yall on your toes it’s time for an angst comic#if I think too hard about Michael’s story I will sob#Michael is defined and driven by his own guilt/regret#mean everything he does in FNAF is to free his siblings#and also get rid of his father#and in the end decides to rid of himself too#I just gotta believe he just misses them#wishes they all could of had better lives#full stolen childhood#nobody can make me hate you Michael Afton
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his guardian angel
#im sure that none of the vampires are after Daniel for writing a book and actively outing them on television#because Armand is always lurking somewhere around#another oil pastels on a cardboard piece!! i think im starting to understand it a little bit better (but honestly just a little bit lmao)#specifically love how Armand's hands turned out#i think i put the most effort in them lmao#everything else was just yaaay i don't have any idea what im doing#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#iwtv daniel#iwtv armand#iwtv fanart#daniel molloy#armand#armandaniel#vampire chronicles#amc interview with the vampire#devil's minion#my fanart
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"terfs like trans men!" "trans men don't have to worry about terfs!"
Oh I'm sorry wasn't there a big thing throughout 2020-2022 where everyone was all like "little girls are mutilating their bodies!", "what happened to our lesbians!?", "scared women are pretending to be men.", and so on? Wasn't there a literal book that talked about trans men, talking about them as if they were innocent girls who were lied to and thus were destroying themselves because of it, saying how we needed to 'save them from the hypnotization!"? Weren't there numerous bloggers/youtubers who made commentary videos in reaction to Elliot Page coming out, and proceeded to rant and rave how we are losing such beautiful women and lesbians to the "transgender agena"? What about the time where it was trending to fakeclaim trans people, whom most of the targets of this were trans men? How about when people called trans men 'dykes' because "well they're not actual men, they're just confused lesbians!"?
Do I need to add more, or do you guys understand?
#if you genuinely think trans men are better off or that they aren't even oppressed I want you off my page#trans men can and DO experience transphobia and I'm so tired of people saying they don't#dont get me started on the erasure of just about everything I told you in this post#transphobia#transandrophobia#trans men#trans#franky posts
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Stuck on the thought that Bruce tried to be a father for Dick, but Dick didn’t want one. He wanted an equal, someone to fight crime with. And consequently, Bruce drove him away with his overbearing nature.
And then Jason came to him, and of course Bruce had to do better this time. He didn’t want to lose another child Robin. Only he realized too late that Jason didn’t just want to be Batman’s partner, he wanted to be Bruce’s son.
((And with Tim he was too scared to even try))
Kay thanks s’cuse me while I go cry in a corner goddammit
#random thoughts#look I love the batfam#and I love Dick being the oldest and calling Bruce dad#but also he was an angry child that just lost the nicest family ever#of course he didn’t want a new dad#and Bruce misunderstood#because emotions are HARD#and then Dick was gone and he was panicking with Jason because ‘Ok I’m gonna do everything better this time around’#… only to have Ethiopia happen#urghhhh just—-#Batdad#Bruce#give me caring Bruce Wayne#give me a father who wants to follow his children everywhere because he can’t bear to lose more family#ghost talks#jason todd#batfamily#dick grayson#bruce wayne#batfam#Batman
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Sometimes at work it's not my place to tell people the things I want to say, and I find I often go home at the end of the rougher days to stand blankly in my shower and tell myself over and over what I wish I could pass on.
This accomplishes very little, and mostly just gives me a tension headache, but through it all I think I've narrowed myself down to a few solid things I'd like to tell people the most.
You can't change people. Not permanently, not for anythig. You can support them, encourage them, love them, give them tools and opportunities and resources, but you can't make them change. They can change themselves if they want to, but they have to want to, and they have to want it for themselves, because they're the only one that's certain to be with them forever.
For better or worse, you make your own choices, and blaming bad choices on others doesn't only work to absolve you of responsibility- it also robs you of control. Because if you say you only did something because I did something, then you arent only shifting blame- you're admitting that you cannot control yourself, that you cannot truly make choices for yourself, that other people can control you- and as long as you truly beleive that, you'll keep facing the same problems over and over. You'll keep letting others dictate your choices, because you'll beleive that they can, and you'll never be free.
White knights on horseback are from fairytales. Nobody can help you if ou're not willing to help yourself. To try, to put the dirty work in, to belive you're worth that effort- Act as though nobody is coming to save you. From a struggle, from pain, from bad relationships, from yourself. And when you do save yourself, because you will, because failure here isn't an option if you want to survive, you'll never find another dragon that can keep you prisoner.
Don't say anything to anyone that you wouldn't want them remembering forever.
Doing the right thing in bad circumstances is hard. It's the hardest thing. But if you make the choice to do that hard thing anyways, despite your fear, you'll go on the rest of your like knowing that you're the sort of person who did something.
The present only seems the hardest because the past I over and the future hasn't happened.
There's so much joy ahead of you, the kind you can't possibly understand until you see it yourself.
The responsibility of consequences is often disguised as the power of permission. "I won't do this if you help me", "I'll work on my anger if you do this for me", "I promised you I'd quit, but can I have just one?". The unspoken question is, "Can it be your fault if this goes badly?"
You cant make someone love you the way you need to be loved. Someone can love you very much and still be bad for you, even if you love them very much in return. Two people can love each other very, very much, and try their very best, and still be wrong for each other.
Sometimes being near to someone changes you, even in good ways, and the people you become don't fit together as well as the people you were.
Caring takes work. Even if it's real. Especially if it's real. And the most important gestures aren't the grand, poetic, songs-and-flowers-and-tears moments; they're getting out of bed even though you don't want to. Paying attention to things you don't enjoy. Scrubbing pans, or opening a window, saying "thank-you", or helping carry groceries into the house. The small things fill the big things- without the small, boring, mediocre things, big things feel hollow.
Thrre is honour and dignity in humble work.
If you are a cruel and spiteful person, then you will find every place you visit to be full of the same cruel, spiteful people. This is not because the world is as cruel as you, but because everywhere you are, you will be disliked. This is the curse that comes with being persistently cruel and spiteful.
If you are a kind and ppsitive person, you will repeatedly encounter kind and positive people, because as they grow familiar with you, they will be happier to have you near. This is the reward of being a kind and positive person.
When splitting paths with loved ones, briefly or forever, aim for your last words to always be "I love you".
#I'm still so young and ignorant#but I wish someone had told ME these things before I had to learn them#And now when shit goes south and everything is over and calm again the same things just roll though my head#Over and over and over#It's like everyone I meet has the same 3 problems and its ruining their lives#I just want to take everyone I meet by the shoulders and shake them#I KNOW why this is happening to you#Do you realize you can be better?#Do you realize you can do it?#Aren't you terrified of wasting your life like this?#*I* want to be happier#*I* used to be so much worse than I am#And I don't have it all figured out#But if we all decide to help ourselves then it'll be that much easier to help each other#Right?#It's so hard to lift dead weight#You need to kick against the waves with me#You need to WANT to float#Do you understand#Ugh it's 6am#This has been your overdramatic midnight ramble#Imma grill me a cheese and go back to bed#Blaurfhgh
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Sleeping Soundly Again - my comic for the Until the End of Time zine! I drew this around a year ago, and I'm so excited to get to unleash it on the world at last.
#billford#gravity falls#zine stuff#postbetrayal#ford angst#this is my first time doing a comic so i kept the panel layout as simple as possible#i feel like my art skills are better now than they were when i drew this but i still think the idea comes across just fine#seriously though check out the full zine the artists and writers poured their heart and soul into everything and it shows
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So call home all the roosters to rest Who'll speak from the podium next? Jocelyn pulled at my sleeve As life from the heart left howlin...
Very experimental little Etho drawing! I like to imagine he's lost in BDubs's woods.
#the barking artist#ethoslab#etho#hermitcraft#hermitcraft season 10#hc fanart#etho fanart#hermitcraft etho#is that all the etho tags?? maybe??#this turned out a lot better than i thought it would#very fun little experiment :3#wanted to try just.... blocking in everything with one brush
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"Fuck me sideways." -Eve Best
What a way to go out like a queen, actress and character.
#now to retreat to fandom#where i fix everything#ana you and i resurrection fic#the modern au fic#were fixing this#yeah were gonna get her fucked sideways for sure#just in a much better way#eve best#rhaenys targaryen#hotd#house of the dragon#house of the dragon s2#hotd spoilers#hotd s2 spoilers
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like mother, like son, but less wholesome this time?
(I couldn't decide whether or not to put them together, so have them in all the different ways!)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland episode 7 part 6 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers#twisted wonderland book 7 part 6 spoilers#if i had a nickel for every time a draconia ob'd while trying to save lilia#and had to be taken out by a member of this one specific bloodline with sparkly celestial hair that a fairy blessed#et cetera and so on you know the rest#i mean we know it's going to end better this time but y'know. the parallels!#oh meleanor my beloved#of course...of course she ob'd...it makes sense...#everything about this whole situation just massively sucked for everyone huh#well at least silver's biodad felt guilty about killing her i guess#i dunno i'm just havin' some feelings about all of this#lilia had both the absolute worst and absolute best things about his life come out of all this#down the two great loves of his life and also his job and reputation and 200 years of his life and uhhhh kind of everything else honestly#up some kids though!#(also one of those kids is a baby dragon who is JUST the right size to put silly hats on)#they were worth it to him! or maybe they were worth not giving up? look i am DEEP in the blorbosauce right now#if you don't want to read emotional tags about lilia twistedwonderland then don't come to egophiliac.tumblr.com
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Thinking about the fact that Mabel and Dipper didn't know they had two great uncles.
Yeah they are 12 and at 12 I had a shotty understanding of my family tree- But really? Nobody brought up their great uncle? Stanley? Especially since they'll be staying with his twin brother, Stanford?
Shermie never went to Stan's fake funeral, which to me means the twos relationship was strained on some level. If Shermie is older that means his view of Stan was poisoned in some way, that even as kids they weren't close. If the Shermie is younger then he never even got to meet Stan and all he knew about him was how he failed his family. Hell, people probably barely mentioned Stanley TO Shermie.
The fact that Stan had become a black stain upon the Pines family name makes me so vividly upset. Stanley faked his death and the family just- seemingly decided to strike him from the record. To pretend he didn't existed to spare themselves the sadness and shame.
Stanford and Shermie Pines. The only children worth mentioning of Filbrick and Caryn Pines.
It was never Stanford that was lost to the world. It was Stanley, ever since he had to leave New Jersy- it was always him that had to be struck from the record. Change his name, change his state, change his affiliations, destroy the remains of ghost that was Stanley Pines. Kill him so the family doesn't bring him up, doesn't ask questions, stops asking "Stanford" about his twin.
I just keep thinking about the fact that since the day he made one single mistake all the way up until Ford walks out of that machine- Stanley Pines was killed and did not exist. And Stan himself had no one to blame, he had to play the part in his own demise- He is the only one who ever knew Stanley was alive and has been for decades.
He lives in the multitudes of every personality he's ever taken, all in the hope that he himself can stop being Stanley Pines.
#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#STANLEYYYYYY#STANLEY THEY COULD NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU STANLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#sharky rants#Just. Imagine the fucking shame you have to live with#the shame that you can never be yourself. That anything you were is unwanted and forgotten#The shame of just BEING- Of taking space of- of /breathing-/#Imagine the world; your friend; your family; your colleagues being so ashamed of having known you#that you feel more comfortable with a persona to present.#You feel more comfortable stealing the identity of someone you care for deeply if only to help#If only to feel capable for once. To feel like you belong- Like youre doing something good for once#Imagine the shame that brings you to be comfortable not being yourself for 40 years.#ALL CASE YOU BROKE ONE FUCKING PROJECT??????? COME ON#I mean- the deeprooted shame was started from earlier. He was 'the stupid twin��; 'the troublemaker”; “the cheat and thief”#This was a long time coming#But those werent MISTAKES- The one time he genuinely made a Mistake he lost everything#Like he really mattered so little to the people around him#and he cant really blame them.#My cousin is a genius. Hes smart and academically achieved since I was a baby.#The only thing I had that he didnt was my ability to draw. to be creative. The guy for the longest time had a better social life then me too#I used to get brought to tears seeing his accomplishments- seeing people praise him. The shame lived in me any time I had to see him#The shame that I was the black sheep of the family next to the golden standard for a son- for a student- for a friend.#when I was none of those things#And Im lucky he was my cousin- cause if he was my brother that would have haunted me EVERY DAY rather then once or twice a year#Im better with it now; Im more content with who I am- But trauma dump aside-#I very very very much understand Stans shame in being the stupid one. The unachieved one in a family full of achieved people#the shame thats angry at him for being better. at the family for treating him special. and most of all at yourself that you cant be better#its a visceral feeling that I sadly understand
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assorted wips again
1. anchan space buns!!
2. emo arisato twins + ryomina and akiham
3. mzen x p3
4. suzalulu sketch dump
5. suzalulu + souyo (eng voice actor joke)
#cat’s art#prsk#an shiraishi#vbs#project sekai#persona 3#ryomina#akiham#kotone shiomi#makoto yuki#akihiko sanada#ryoji mochizuki#code geass#lelouch lamperouge#lelouch vi britannia#suzaku kururugi#suzalulu#souyo#persona 4#hmm i might delete some tags later. too many#apologies i have been on a big code geass kick. i love lelouch#but since there’s like 3 people left that like code geass i feel kinda shy#i kinda wanna just dump any of my future code geass stuff in a separate sideblog tbh#but then idk if it matters that much? is this my everything art blog or most things art blog#anyways. it’s not art block these days just mental ones :/ trying to get over the less-than-kind things i’ve been telling myself#whatever. please enjoy the sketches until i have better to offer
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Made in the Image of Bill
Closeups of the quality gets roasted (just like bills family) ->
#gravity falls#gravity falls fanart#silas birchtree#silas birchtree fanart#gf bill cipher#bill cipher fanart#bill cipher#BRO I LOVE SILASSO MUCH YAYAYAYAYAYAYAHAHAHAGDGAHAVAAAA#YAYSGDHSHSGAHAAHAHAHA#ROTTING CORPSE#I LOVE IT SO MUCH#HOT TAKE MAYBE BUT THIS IS A BETTER VERSION OF MICHEAL AFTON#I LOVE THSI SO MUCH BROO#BILL#PEAKED HERE#BILL LITERALLY PEAKED WITH SILAS LMAO#also I love this his name means forest so it’s like a birch forest#Minecraft reference oh my gooodd#ANYWYAS#YES#ILL STAND BY THIS AND DIE ON THIS HILL#I FULLY THINK THAT#like bro bill went absolutely crazy#and indulged in every selfish thing he wanted to#HE WAS COPING AHAHAA#like#I just know everytime he reminded his multiple wives that he was the local epic god he would secretly mope about his family#idk maybe the his traumatic backstory beans on my mind too much and now I’m trying to include it into the narrative of EVERYTHING HES DONE#the book of bill#book of bill
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What if Hicctrid had Zephyr wayyy early ?
#I think the idea is cute but??#not a fan of these drawings tbh#just want the concept out there#I think babies make everything more interesting#just imagine rtte but there’s a baby there#now rtte is better#lmao idk man#my art#httyd#rtte#hiccup horrendous haddock iii#astrid hofferson#zephyr haddock#viggo grimborn
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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There’s nothing in Nassau but horror. You said it was just a transition. That something better lay beyond it, something meaningful. But what if that isn’t so? What if the result of this war isn’t beyond the horror? What if it is the horror itself? Have you given this any thought at all? If we are to truly reach a moment where we might be finished with England… cleared away to make room for something else… there most certainly lies a dark moment between here and there. A moment of terror where everything appears to be without hope.
BLACK SAILS 4.08 “XXXVI.”
#black sails#gifs*#blacksailsedit#perioddramaedit#dailyflicks#useroptional#cinemapix#chewieblog#cinematv#userbbelcher#userkraina#userhann#tuserhan#userrobin#tusereliza#userstream#tvarchive#tvcentric#blackandwhiteedit#perioddramasource#this is a terrible gifset but i just love this so much#after everything flint has been through he still has hope#he refuses to be a cynic#it wasn’t about setting the world on fire for the sake of it#i was about building something better after
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