#everything was better without isabella

[blood-n-tears]

I can't describe how this makes me so genuinely happy!! 💞💖💞💖💞💖💞💖 😭😭😭😭😭

May i propose: the “I would do anything for you” but they actually fucking kiss

Thank you

[inlovewithregencyera]

My Fair Lady: Early Romantic Era Hairs

♫♫♫♫ (sorry I now feel the feminine urge to include a Regency song in everything, ignore me but it sounds better as you read.)

Alright, I made these Early Romantic Era (1820-1910) hairstyles and decided why not release them. They are named after characters in my sims story, Isabella, Selina, Aurelia, and Susan (3 of which have not been introduced yet). You can look at their aesthetics if you want here. There are no 1820s hairstyles so I saw it fit to make some for my story. I say these are 1820s Hairstyles but these can work from about 1817-1827. The two without the Apollo knots can work for as early as 1810. The two with the Apollo knots can work as early as 1820+.

I have snatched pieces of hair from @the-melancholy-maiden and @buzzardly28, credit to them for amazing pieces of hair I can work with.

BGC, with all EA natural swatches.

Here are some different angles of them in my game:

I love these sims they're so cute.

Below are pictures of hairstyles from this era which I used as inspiration to make them.

DOWNLOAD

[dollfaceksj]

you said you want to keep toapp going for as long as you can so i have a feeling it’s clearly not their last time. plus, where’s yoongi?!?

yoongi has been summoned. #19 lets go ↓

warnings: i wanted to add more stuff to the camping trip like a hiking scene and whatnot but honestly im so over the camping trip arc i just wanna get it over with so this is pretty rushed 😭

taste of a poison paradise | jjk (m) #19

masterlist

<- previous ; next ->

you stir

and awaken

why are you so? warm?

oh

you are

cuddled up into jungkook

your back into his chest

his arm around your waist

his nose buried in your hair

you glance over your shoulder

jungkook is still sound asleep

he looks

cute :(

you glance at your phone, it’s 7am. it you and jungkook’s turn to prepare breakfast

you gently shake him

“jungkook,” you say, “wake up.”

he stirs and then turns on his back

rubbing his face

he mumbles, “sorry.”

you shake your head. “it’s okay, i just want to wake you up for breakfast. it’s our turn to prepare.”

he nods his head and sits up, running a hand through his disheveled hair

you crawl out of the tent and stretch your limbs, yawning loudly before you go wash up

he slowly follows you out and you both start preparing breakfast in silence

the air is

tense?

awkward?

weird?

you don’t know what it is

but you don’t really speak to jungkook and he doesn’t speak to you while you both prepare

maybe it’s for the best

:/

about half an hour later, breakfast is ready and you take your time gathering your clothes to head into the bathhouse about 20 mins further

you have to wait for everyone to finish eating cause you can’t drive and someone needs to bring you

you watch as the seats around the table starts filling up

and you take your seat next to yoongi

he pours orange juice into your cup and rubs your shoulder. “how’d you sleep?”

you smile at the question. “i slept pretty well. you?”

“hoseok only punched me once in the mouth so i’d say i slept better too.”

you giggle at his joke and slap his thigh under the table

“hey uh,” he starts, “when we get back home..”

you tilt your head once he trails off, he sounds hesitant

he continues, “will you let me take you out?”

wow

ah

AAAAA

need him rn.

you smile. “like? on a date?”

he chuckles and shakes his head at your silliness. “yeah, like on a date.”

you pretend to hum in thought. “i thought we weren’t anything serious,” you tease.

he nods his head. “you’re right, but i think it’s proper manners to buy a lady a meal before we,” he pauses and glances at you, “get to the not-serious stuff.”

oh

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

okay!

well.

you lick your lips and chew on the loose flesh on your lips.

“so? what do you say?” he asks without even looking at you as he pours himself orange juice and reaches across the table for something to eat

he’s so

nonchalant

fuck

“i say that i’d like that.”

a smile tugs on his lips as he listens to your words, still not looking at you and it makes him look so fucking cocky

he asks; “do you have class tomorrow?”

“until 12pm.”

“good. i’ll pick you up at 6.”

ah

ahhhh

AHHHHHHH

so

….

he’s so….

hmmmm

you sheepishly reply, “okay.”

he keeps his hand respectfully on your knee, not moving it an inch toward your thigh

but it still raises goosebumps on your skin

his big hand

he’s so perfect wow

you bring your attention back to your plate and raise your cup to your lips

you hum in content

you let your eyes roam over the rim of your cup

only to make eye contact

with jungkook.

you feel a bit

uncomfortable.

he’s staring very… intensely.

did he hear everything?

it almost makes you choke on your juice

ugh it’s just breakfast and the days already wearing down on you

just… make the most of it

hours have passed, you’ve done a few more activities with the group

it’s time to head home

you’ve been hanging with yoongi, getting to know him better

isabella and hyunjoo have been stuck to jungkook since breakfast

not that you care

as long as he gets that affection he so desperately seeks

joon begins, “so we’ve decided to just send everyones luggage back home in seokjins car. we’re gonna need an extra person with him cause we can’t trust seokjin too much.”

“hey! i’m responsible,” seokjin replies in a disapproving tone

everyone just ignores seokjin’s outburst. “who’s gonna drive back home with seokjin-hyung?” joon asks as everyone disassembles their tents

everyones looking around

but you suddenly hear

an all too familiar voice

speak up

“i think yoongi-hyung should go.”

what the fuck jungkook

OH GOD

yoongi turns surprised to jungkook and jungkook is just staring back head-on

this damn junior and his lack of respects for seniors!!!

“i just think he’s the most responsible of us all.” he says as he shrugs his shoulders.

you glare at the side of jungkook’s face but it seems like people are starting to agree with him

“alright, i’ll go.” yoongi doesn’t make a fuss and without hesitation starts loading the bags into seokjin’s trunk

you keep glaring at jungkook’s cheek until he turns to look at you

he stares at you without a word on his lips for you and then turns on his heels and walks away from you

walking to go disassemble his tent

you snatch your suitcase and head towards yoongi, handing it to him

“you gonna be fine without me?” yoongi asks as he takes your suitcase and stuffs it in the trunk

you shake your head. “how will i live?”

he chuckles at your joke and then turns to you, reaching out to smooth out the scrunch between your brows with his thumb

“you’re too pretty to walk around with a frown like that.”

ugh

pretty

pretty.

now another’s man’s words keep clouding your mind

playing on a repeat

the image of his black eyes staring into your soul flashing vividly in your mind

‘you can take it, pretty. can’t you?’

‘that’s it, pretty. look at you.’

‘fuck yourself on my dick, pretty. just like that.’

ughhhh

that damn junior corrupted your brains. you need to be cleansed.

“that’s because i’m actually serious. i was looking forward to the train ride back with you.” you continue to pout

he chuckles and reaches out to rub your bottom lip with his thumb

“don’t look at me like that,” he quietly says

again…

something jungkook has said to you too

:///

“like what?”

“like you want me to kiss you.”

he’s

so

you reply, “that’s because i do.”

he licks his lips and rolls his tongue against the inside of his cheek

he respectfully places his hand on your waist and pulls you closer to him, closing the distance

your hands instantly meet his arms, squeezing his biceps

he cups the back of your head and inches closer to your face until he’s pressed his lips against yours

and you fucking melt

his lips are so damn soft like you could write a novel about it

you move your hands to his chest and rub it gently, wanting to feel more of him

he parts from your lips and brings his thumb up to stroke over your bottom lip

“pout is gone.”

and with that, he turns his attention back to loading the car

fuck

ah fuck

he’s not gonna make it easier for you

you turn on your heels to head back to the rest but you bump into something

that something being

jungkook’s chest

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

for fucks sake!!!

these coincidences are getting ANNOYING

“ow,” you mumble as you stumble back but two hands on your waist from the back and two hands on your waist from the front keep you from tumbling to the ground

oh

yoongi

and

jungkook

are both holding you

:))))

“are you okay?” yoongi immediately asks with a soothing hand still on your back

you nod your head. “yeah.”

jungkook’s hands linger on your waist and he doesn’t take them off until you shoot him a look

he slowly peels his hands off you and then stuffs his own bag in the trunk

you walk past him and gather with the others

you wave goodbye to seokjin and yoongi once they’re finished

you hope they don’t notice anything in the car you’d die of embarrassment 😭

and they could

quickly make the connection

and if word got out

and it reached taehyung…..

he’s already brought up home……

you know

where the both of u are from

fuck

just calm down

they won’t notice anything

you’re walking back to the train station with the rest

“jungkook! what are your plans for when we get back home?”

you hear isabella talking to him

but you’re walking ahead of them

walking with tae and jimin

he replies, “probably gonna play, haven’t been online in awhile. you?”

ugh

“oh! i have no plans. can i come over and watch you play?”

watch him play?

eye roll

like what does that even do

i mean sure theres a big audience for gamers that stream playing games because people enjoy watching others play

but jungkook? be serious

“oh. sure, why not?”

tae nudges you with his arm. “have you talked to him yet?” he whispers

you frown. “to who?”

he rolls his eyes. “jungkook,” he mouths.

you shake your head in response and watch him quietly sigh

ugh

you made it a whole lot more fucking complicated than it needed to be dude

why did you have to fuck him

the rest of the walk there is filled with quiet small talk and taehyung telling you about the skins he got in fortnite

once you reach the train station, hoseok checks to make sure everyone has everything in order

a few minutes later you board the train

and right

when you want to

go sit down

with jimin and tae

you’re tapped on your shoulder

by tae

“go sit with jungkook.”

????

what the hell?

“and why would i?” you question with a neutral tone to your voice

“did you forget our talk yesterday? if he only interacts with girls that he sleeps with, it’ll always stay the same for him. go talk to him.”

YOU’VE ALSO SLEPT WITH JUNGKOOK SO IT WOULDNT BE ANY FUCKING DIFFERENT!!!!

but of course you can’t tell tae that :))

because you were stupid :)

and horny :)

ugh. not to be harsh but how is jungkook’s mental state your problem?

girl.. you were the one that wanted to cuddle him yesterday. clearly you care about his mental wellbeing

you sigh and get up

and make your way to jungkook’s booth

where he’s seated

with hyunjoo and isabella

:)

jungkook’s sitting by the window

isabella is next to him

hyunjoo is across from him

so you take your seat next to hyunjoo

the girls welcome you with a kind smile and small talk

but that little shit is staring you down with such a bratty look in his eyes

what a little CUNT

what is his problem?

you need a way to get rid of the girls

you lie, “i’m here to talk about … the thing.”

jungkook frowns at you for a moment before he realizes what you’re trying to do. “oh, right. that.”

you glance at hyunjoo and isabella and then turn to jungkook. “shall we talk about it in private?”

he licks his lips and you KNOW he wants to push your buttons and tell you that you can just say it here

but to your surprise, he rises to his feet

and starts heading to another booth

you excuse yourself from the girls but they don’t seem to mind, engaging in convo on their own

you follow jungkook and sit across from him in the empty booth

you both just sit there in silence

quiet

you blink at him

and the silence drags on

for

what seems like forever

and he’s finally had enough. “is there something you want to say?”

you cross your arms over your shoulders and shrug your shoulders. “not really.”

if you tell him tae wants you to bond with jk after he always told him to stay away from you, he’ll know something is going on

he’ll know tae told you his private matters

so you just need tae to believe you’re talking w jk

he narrows his eyes at you for a moment but doesn’t question anything and then glances out the window, eyes scanning the trees that zoom by

you both sit there in silence, sometimes stealing glances at each other

it’s already been an hour

pure silence

somewhere during the trip, about an hour into it, jungkook holds his hand out

you frown

??

his hand

why is he giving you his hand

you slowly place your hand in his, back of your hand facing up

he glances at your hand and then at you, a quiet chuckle leaving his lips

he brings your hand to his mouth and gently kisses your knuckles before placing your hand back on your knee

“that was cute but i meant your phone.”

oh

OH

well how the hell!!! were u!!! supposed to know!!

you narrow your eyes at him in suspicion. “why the hell do you want my phone?”

he rolls his eyes. “stop making a fuss about every little thing and just give it to me.”

this

damn

junior

SO DISRESPECTFUL!!!!

(its kinda hot)

but he needs to be punched!!!

you dig into your pocket and pull it out

unlock it

and hand it to him

he ticks away on your phone and you just stare at him in anticipation

then he hands you back his phone

when you wrap your fingers around it and pull back, there’s resistance

jungkook won’t let your phone go

you glance up from your phone

you cock an eyebrow at him

and he’s just staring at ou

then he leans forwards

winks at you

lets go of your phone

gets up

and heads back to the booth with isabella and hyunjoo

leaving you all alone

hes so

fucking

cocky

jerk.

you look down at your phone

it’s open on instagram

??

did he just…?

‘You accepted @.jungkook97’s follow request!’

to be continued

<- previous ; next ->

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taglist link

@joonwater @purp13st4r @bbtsficrecs @whoa-jo @hoseokieswrld @111vicky @jj.uchiha @ellesalazar @etaerealboyv @kissyfacekoo @casual-death @xenkimmie @the-kaya-aa @ane102 @mochminnie @yoongspi @Katie_tibo @llallaaa @littledropsofheavens @jlixe @frieschan @burnahtsw @somehowukook @alcurls02 @y2kcyb3rz @hopeforyoux @taehyungteddy @Rdaisy-75 @taolucha @eys-loveskoosomuch @kookssecret @xodinosaurxo @mackier10 @kelsyx33 @teddybeartaee @petalsofjr @ijustexistatthispoint @thalhad @whatamitoyou @parkinglot-nights @ahgasegotarmy116 @petalsofink @Hani_0407 @suciedad-divina @jk-190811 @jngkewk @bangtanfabi7 @dreamcatcherluvr @dearmyfavoritepeople-bts @fancycollectormoon @looneybleus @junecat18 @bloopkook @pinklemonsstuff @cherrygukkie @hellsfine @caro134340lina @ny1xh @pamzn @nays2112 @ricekrispyyyyy @bettybloop @yoonabeo @hiii-priestess

[leclerc-s]

the daphlonso scandal

series masterlist

daniel ricciardo talks formula one, the met gala, daphne jones, and more

isabella stands behind a counter, holding up two ingredients in her hands. she leans closer to her phone reading instagram live comments, one catches her attention, "what do you guys think about the daphne and fernando rumors?" she laughs loudly as oscar snickers and bailey smiles from behind isabella, holding a clear bowl in her hands.

lando ever the ignorant to what was happening, and simply thought his friends and girlfriend were having a conversation, speaks from behind the camera, "unless she's broken up with daniel, no way in hell is that ever happening, we all know it."

"lando!" bailey shouted as isabella rushed to shut her live off.

lando paled, "oh fuck. no. tell me it wasn't me. oh god, they're going to kill me."

"we kept this for 6 years and you just-" isabella was cut off by her phone ringing. they all stared at each other, they sigh when they realize it's only mae. isabella put her phone on speaker, "hey mae."

"where is he?" mae questions, "where the hell is norris? i’m going to break his trophies.”

“please don’t, i don’t have many,” lando said, taking the phone from isabella, “it was an accident i swear! i didn't know she was live, i promise! mae please don't kill me!"

daphne jones answers the internet's most pressing questions

comments

username she handled this better than i ever would’ve.

username the way she talks about lando and the other kids, it warms my heart. they all truly love each other. you don’t see many genuine friendships these days in hollywood,

username props to the interviewer for asking daphne if she was uncomfortable answering questions about that.

username it’s surprising they kept this a secret for as long as they did. no one suspected these two were even dating.

username everything after 1989 has been about daniel, and i can see why. he seems like a sweetheart and she does too. it warms my heart that these two sweethearts found each other, and are happily in love.

username omg! she tried to break up with him back when shit hit the fan in 2016-2017 and he refused to. daphne said he gave her space but still checked up on her and made her move in with him in monaco so she wouldn’t be alone.

↳ username when did she say this?

↳ username in miss americana, her documentary from 2020. she spoke about her relationship without saying who her lover was. we saw glimpses of him but that was it. i never put it together that it was daniel and looking back on it the signs were all there.

↳ username it’s surprising no one in monaco ever caught them or told a news outlet then. it’s such a small place

↳ username depending on where they lived. daniel said he had a home in the outskirts of monaco, but he also has his farm in australia. i assume they traveled back and forth between the two.

↳ username and new york, reputation was being recorded around this time too.

liked by daphnejonesricciardo, redbullracing, landonorris and others

danieljonesricciardo a little over a year ago i got to marry the love of my life. this was also around the same time i decided to take a year off racing, not because i everyone said i was a failure but because i wanted to enjoy my first year as a newlywed. i did enjoy it. i enjoyed waking up in the middle of the night to find daphne writing a new song or in the morning to her singing in the kitchen. i enjoyed traveling with her as she performed sold-out arenas night after night. i fell in love with magnificent woman as the whole world was against her, or at least that what it felt like, and i never fell out of love. many tiny little moments that were just ours led us to this moment, now i get to shout from the rooftops that i love my wife. i get to brag that my wife is more talented than me and that she picked me. she picked me when she could’ve had anyone else. for me it was always her and it would always be here, it’s a relief to know she thinks the same. i can’t wait to show the world what daphne j. ricciardo is like from my point of view.

daphne j. ricciardo is warm milk and cookies after a day out in the snow. she’s sunshine but also moonshine, light and dark. she’s human. she’s the embodiment of a strong, confident woman. she’s perseverance. she’s the calm after a storm but also a force to be reckoned with. she’s my daisy but also my poison ivy. sweet and sour. all the good things in my life. she’s a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, and an inspiration. she’s the love of my life and the mother of our future children. she’s everything to me.

the joker and the queen, forever & always.

tagged: daphnejonesricciardo

comments have been restricted by user

fernandoalo_oficial this is where i say goodbye to my other half, according to the internet. it was nice while it lasted daphne.

maejones was me sobbing at your wedding not enough? now you’re making cry over an instagram post? curse you daniel.

charles_leclerc glad we don’t have to worry about lando spilling this secret

taylorlautner congrats you two! it was a beautiful ceremony and glad to have been invited!

landonorris sorry i made you post about this but one less problem for me to worry about.

selenagomez take care of my best friend ricciardo!

↳ danieljonesricciardo always have gomez. always have.

alex_albon THE JOKER AND THE QUEEN? ARE YOU SHITTING ME RICCIARDO? I CANNOT SHED ANY MORE TEARS OVER YOU TWO!!

baileywinters mama y papa got married and i’m still not over it.

vancityreynolds vroom vroom man's wife stole my wife now i have to steal her husband

↳ danieljonesricciardo name a time and place

↳ vancityreynolds daphne i adore your husband. he's mine now. you can keep my wife and kids.

↳ daphnejonesricciardo ‘guess i just lost my husband’

liked by danieljonesricciardo, sebastianvettel, blakelively and others

daphnejonesricciardo to my sunshine, my muse, my eternal lover. i will forever be grateful you walked into my life when you did. you were my shoulder to cry on and my best friend before you were ever my lover. you’ve held me at my highest high but also at my lowest low. i want all of your midnights forever. i want to be able to tell you that i love you forever. i want to be able to tell our future children that their father is the kindest man i’ve ever met. loving you has been an adventure of its own because there’s always something new to do. i’ll always remember how you dragged me out of bed to watch the stars from our roof or how you wake me up at 3am to eat ice cream. the memories you and i make are forever and i can’t wait to tell them to our children someday.

daniel j. ricciardo is the embodiment of sunshine. he’s a warm hug on a cold day. he’s daylight. he’s comfort. he’s everything to me. there’s in no one else i would rather sit with and watch grey’s anatomy with. there’s no one else i’d rather cry to when life throws another unexpected event at us. there’s no one else i’d rather sing all my songs too first. there’s no one else i’d rather love than you. there's no one else i would want to be the future father of my children. here’s to forever daniel.

miss americana & the heartbreak prince, forever & always

tagged: danieljonesricciardo

comments have been restricted by user

alex_albon ARE YOU SHITTING ME? YOU TWO WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME!! THE JOKER & THE QUEEN? MISS AMERICANA & THE HEARTBREAK PRINCE? OH LORD DIG MY GRAVE!

vancityreynolds lost my future husband before he could ever be mine

maxverstappen1 i call godfather of your first spawn!

↳ charles_leclerc no way! i called dibs first!

↳ carlossainz55 i was here from the start it should be me!

↳ maxverstappen1 i was too! besides charles already has the cat!

↳ charles_leclerc a cat is not the same as a human maxamilian

↳ maxverstappen1 THAT'S NOT MY NAME!!!

↳ danieljonesricciardo seb gets the first child. he's literally the reason we're together in the first place. ryan gets the next, you three can fight roman empire style for the third.

isabellaperez i won't fight for godmother because i know i am not responsible to take care for another person.

daniel jones-ricciardo gets interrogated by max verstappen and sergio perez (featuring special guest isabella perez)

comments

username he hyphenated his name! omg! i love this! i love them!

↳ username they both did! it's adorable

username i wanna know what the smoothie inchident is!

username max with daniel and isabella brings out the child in him.

↳ username this whole video seemed like tired dad (checo), fun uncle (daniel), little sister (isa), big brother (max)

username it’s surprising that checo brought up the 2021 scandal. but max was right, if he would’ve said something then the situation would’ve gotten worse. it’s nice to know all her friends were supportive.

username but what is the smoothie incident?

username props to daniel for deciding that the master’s situation should’ve been about daphne and not them as a couple

↳ username he should’ve said something. what kind of boyfriend doesn’t defend his girlfriend?

↳ username he still supported her as a ‘friend’ all the time. he did what he could without exposing their relationship. he even came to her defense when daphne was getting shit on by the entire internet. daniel is literally the blueprint.

username i wasn’t expecting checo to be the one with the hard hitting questions.

username this was a group i didn't know i needed

username they all seemed relieved that daph and daniel's relationship is out there in the world. i can't imagine helping two people keep their relationship a secret for over 7 years.

↳ username this friend group has proven time and time again they would do anything for each other. i think it's only a matter of time before someone *isabella* marches into the ferrari garage and demands they fix their shitty strategy.

¡leclerc-s speaks! honestly this one started off as a complete joke and then it became something i fell in love completely. it's super long because i just kept adding more and more to it. firmly believe that if lando wasn't the one to spill it stone-cold sober pierre would be the one to do it in an instagram story (iykyk)

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[andreafmn]

Collision | Chapter 19

Word Count: 3.6K Story Description: (Y/N) Uley is back home after being away for four years. Her life is at its first standstill and she is taking this time to find out who she is without school. But she never thought that coming back to the reservation would turn her whole life around. In the midst of secrets and mystery, a man crashes into (Y/N)’s and her life will never be the same. Chapter: 19/? A/N: Um, cannot believe this story is at 19 chapters already. like, what? I'm thinking of separating the series into each of the books, that way we don't get to like 100 chapters because it's basically just a Twilight rewrite 😅😅 My content will always be free, but if you’re feeling particularly generous, you can leave a tip on any of my posts  or buy me a coffee to support me and my love of writing Follow 😊 -> TikTok • Instagram • Business If you’d like to be tagged in this or any other story: click here Make sure you have my notifications on so you know every time I post! Please check if you’re tagged in the story, I’ve reached the limit of tags on Twilight again it seems. 😅

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Chapter 19

(Y/N) felt guilt surging through her as she knocked on the door of the Swan residence. She knew she had been in pain. That just like Bella she had been abandoned by the person they thought was the love of their life. But she had crawled out of the dark hole she had sunk into, fighting tooth and nail against everything that wanted to keep her down. Although, she could still feel their claws scraping at her skin, breathing down her neck, and whispering their return.

But even if she still wasn’t a hundred percent healed and she still cried herself to sleep on the nights she was alone, she wanted to at least help Bella take the first step out.

“(Y/N),” Charlie smiled. “Thank you for coming over.”

“Of course, Charlie. I just wanna make sure Bella gets better, or at least start to.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you. And you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he stammered slightly. “Before the Cullens left, there was talk in the town about the doctor. You know, about who he was seeing…”

“You’re wondering if we were together?” (Y/N) smiled, pushing down the sadness that was threatening to spill out with her words. “Well, I’ll let you know that those rumors were true. And, yes, just like Bella, he broke up with me and left. I’m guessing that’s why you asked me to talk to her.”

“It is,” he smiled awkwardly. “I’m not usually keen on small-town gossip, but I’d heard that you had been in a funk since they left, and I put two and two together. And seeing how well you’re doing now, I needed to throw out a hail Mary and see if you could help Bella.”

“It’s okay, Charlie. I knew that people talked about us,” she said reassuringly. “And though it’s been hard, with the help of my friends and family, I was able to start piecing myself back together. I only hope I can help do the same with Bella.”

“I hope so to,” he breathed defeatedly. “I have to run out to work right now but you can help yourself to anything in the kitchen or you can get some pizza, or even take Bella to the diner. I’ll cover the whole tab.”

“I think we’ll manage, Charlie. But thank you,” she chuckled. “I’m no miracle worker but I will try my best.”

“That is all I can ask,” he said. “You probably won’t be here when I get back, so I’m gonna thank you again for trying with Bella. I’m glad that she has people in her corner like you.”

 “She will always have a friend in me.”

(Y/N) waved the man away as he left the house, pointing her upstairs in the direction of Bella. With the man gone the house was eerily quiet. If she hadn’t known the other girl was in her room, she would have thought Charlie had left her in an empty house. There was no sign of life. And she hated how familiar that felt.

She walked up the creaky stairs, bracing herself for whatever version of Isabella Swan she would be faced with. She knew what losing yourself in heartache looked and felt like, and it was not pretty.

The door to Bella’s room was open, still no indication of movement, and for a second (Y/N) felt like she was intruding into someone’s privacy. Until she saw the girl’s figure as still as a statue on the far end of her bedroom staring out the window.

Bella looked paler than usual, her cheeks slightly sunken and her eyes wearing dark bags under them. She hadn’t been sleeping or eating well and it was evident on her body. If someone had told her that the Swan girl had not moved from that chair in months, she would have believed them.

“Hey, Bella.” (Y/N)’s voice startled her. The girl jumped as though her systems had jump-started at the sound of another presence. “Don’t know if your dad told you but he asked me to come over. I know we haven’t seen each other in a while.”

“Oh, hey,” she muttered. “Yeah, I think he mentioned something.”

“I guess it’s no surprise that he asked me to come talk to you, huh?”

“Because of them,” she sighed.

“Yeah,” (Y/N) smiled painfully, sitting on the ledge of the window right in front of her.

She had practiced a speech at home, words of encouragement that would hopefully chip at the wall Bella had built around herself. She’d practiced speech after speech, picking from every talking to Sam and her mom had related to her, every phrase that made her own heart soften.

But standing before Bella, the words had died in her throat. There was nothing she could say to make it better. No amount of bullshit could make her better. What the Cullens had done to both of them Would not be remedied with a conversation. And that was all (Y/N) had.

“How’d you do it?” Bella asked after a few minutes in silence. “How were you able to move on from him?”

“To be honest… I haven’t,” she sighed, the confession tasting acrid on her tongue. “And I don’t think I ever will. I don’t think you ever really move on from someone you were ready to give up your whole life for.”

“But you seem to have it all together now,” she exclaimed. “You’re in med school, you’re going to parties, you’re working at the hospital. And you look happy.”

“I’ll let you in on a secret, Bella. That’s the beauty of pretending. People don’t question someone that looks happy,” (Y/N) smiled softly. “I’m not doing any better than you just because it looks like I am. If I’m telling the truth, I am still as heartbroken as I was the day they left. I just decided that pretending was easier than hurting.”

“I just feel like I’ll be in pain for the rest of my life,” the girl cried softly. “I just wish there was something I could use to numb it all. I just want it to stop.”

“That’s not the answer either, Bella. And I would know. I spent the first two months drowning my sorrows with vodka,” she confessed. “And even if I felt numb for a few hours the pain was still there. It always will be, I think.”

“Then how do we make it through? How do we stop it from hurting more?”

“I don’t think we can stop it from hurting. All we can do is keep going regardless of how much it hurts,” (Y/N) offered. “But if they get to go on with their lives after leaving us as they did, then we owe it to ourselves to do the same. The best way to make them pay is to show them our lives went on without them.”

“It’s just,” her voice croaked. “I don’t think I can. Actually, I don’t think I want my life to go on without Edward. I had never seen forever the way I saw it with him. Didn’t you feel like that with Carlise?” 

At the sound of his name, the knot in (Y/N)’s throat tightened. It had been months since her ears had listened to that combination of letters. Everyone around her had quickly picked up on the situation and they had more than willingly stopped mentioning his name.

But there Bella was, speaking it into existence as if it wasn’t the most bitter word to let pass through her tongue. She said them like the beautiful names they were, like the sweetness of them wasn’t overwhelming in her mouth. She spoke like a girl that was still in love and had no disdain for the person that had hurt her. And (Y/N) wondered how that could be.

His name was laced with so much anger and sadness that (Y/N) couldn’t even bring herself to even think about it. Yet, Bella had said it and it had felt like a punch to the gut. Because she had once also said his name with so much enchantment and care, and it made her miss those days. The days when she could call his name and instantly be filled with happiness and excitement.

“I did… I do,” she corrected. “But I don’t want to. That’s why I’ve been trying my hardest to move on, even if it’s just one day at a time. I want to get to the day where when I dream of my future he’s not there. I crave the morning I wake up and my heart doesn’t ache anymore, where I can trust someone else to tell me they love me and mean it. We gave them our hearts, Bella, and they threw it away like it meant nothing. I’m not telling you that you have to move on. But I am telling you that it’s the best idea.”

Bella simply nodded for a second and agreed when (Y/N) offered to get some pizza to fill the silence. Everything that (Y/N) had told her she agreed with, to an extent. If the Cullens weren’t coming back like it seemed they weren’t, then she wanted to take her life back in her control like (Y/N) had. But she couldn’t help the tiny drop of hope she held that they would return, and she could settle into their life as she had done once and fulfill the plans she had made with Edward.

As (Y/N) served herself pizza, Bella sat there, picking at the slice that was on her plate, the words slowly digesting into her system. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. Anything.”

“If he had offered to turn you –before everything happened—if he had told you that he would have turned you and asked you to leave with them.” She stared deeply into (Y/N)’s eyes, her tears glistening in the rays of the morning. “Would you have done it? Would you have gone with him?”

“The rational side of me wants to say no. That I would have thought twice about leaving my family and friends again, that I would have given myself a few years to be human and experience life while my heart was still beating,” she chuckled, drying away tears she had not known were pooling until they fell down her cheeks. “But my romantic side, the side that was desperate to be in love, knows I would have agreed just if it meant that I would have him by my side for the rest of my life. I would have given up everything even for just a few years with him.”

“What if he came back? What if he came back and asked for another chance?” Bella was desperate. It was the first time she could ask these questions. The first time she could talk to someone that knew everything and could answer back. “Would you give it to him?”

“That’s a difficult hypothetical, Bella,” (Y/N) laughed. “I think there are too many variables at play for me to know if I would.”

“That’s because you’re thinking with your rational side,” Bella teased slightly, the semblance of a smile playing on her lips. “I’m asking your romantic side. Would that side want Carlisle back?”

(Y/N) kept quiet even though she knew the answer. It was hard to say it out loud. To admit that regardless of how destroyed he had left her that she would want him with every fiber of her being. That if tomorrow he reappeared that she would fall back into his arms and pick things up where they had ended. But it wasn’t fair to her, to the little progress she had made without him.

Still, she was being truthful. “The romantic side would gladly take him back,” she said sadly. “But it’s not just to the side that’s put in the work to not let that happen. What will it say about me that someone could hurt me in the way he did, and I welcomed him back into my life?”

“Oh,” was all Bella responded, her head falling as her skin flushed red.

“Would you take Edward back?”

“I would,” her voice peeped meekly. “I love him too much not to. But I wish I was like you. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much.”

“It will still hurt, Bella. It’ll just be easier to act like it doesn’t,” (Y/N) shrugged. “Look, Bella, no one can tell you to move on. If it was that easy, we wouldn’t be here. But you need to at least take the first step. Staying in this room, waiting for the day things just change will not work. It’s on you to start a new journey.”

“Okay,” she sighed. “I know you’re right. It’s just so hard.”

“I know it is. If there’s anyone that knows, it’s me,” she smiled. “But you’re not alone. You have people around you that love and care for you. Let them.”

“I’ve pushed them away. I pushed everyone away.”

“The ones that truly care will still welcome you back. Just take it one day at a time, Bella. But take it out of this room.”

“Thank you, (Y/N). It’s comforting to have someone to talk to so openly about this. Things won’t change quickly, but I’m willing to give it a try.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” (Y/N) said, giving the girl a hug goodbye. “If you need anyone to talk to, don’t hesitate to call, Bella.”

“I will,” she smiled weakly. “Take care of yourself, (Y/N).”

“You too, Bella.” 

(Y/N) couldn’t believe she had confessed to everything she had worked to shove into the deepest corners of her mind. She didn’t want to admit the hold he still had on her. That at any second, he could waltz back into her life, and she would still be as in love with him as the day he had left. It was hard to let those words pass through her lips. Because once they were out, there was no way to sink them back in.  

It was strange and unnerving to hear herself say those words out loud. She had kept these thoughts deeply buried in her brain, scared to ever let them come out. Especially around Sam and Paul. Even if the Cullens had not been their natural-born enemies, she was sure they would have still hated them. More after their patriarch had broken her heart. Other than them, there was no one else she was close to that she could really talk to. They knew everything, and for her to be able to open up completely she needed people who knew everything.

Still, as much as she loved Sam and Paul, they were the least objective people in her life. They were genetically predisposed to not be objective. (Y/N) would go to them for everything else, just nothing that had to do with the Cullens.

But Bella was no better for her. Her scales were tilted toward them. If she took anything from her conversation with the Swan girl was that no matter what they had done, she would forgive them and sink back into their life as if nothing had happened. It was terrifying and just the smallest sliver of extraordinary. Her loyalty to the Cullens transpired her pain. Maybe she knew something (Y/N) didn’t.

As she neared her house, she started burying those thoughts deeper and deeper into her mind, afraid that they were visible on her face. Even if she knew how unrealistic it was –and that the only mind reader she knew was miles away—she couldn’t help the embarrassment that rushed to her skin in shades of red. And if they did, she knew they wouldn’t mention it. At least, not to her face. That much she could expect.

What she didn’t expect was to find Embry Call sitting on her porch. He wore a stressed look on his face, nights of little sleep evident on his face. The boy she knew had always been very happy, quiet but joyous. And though he seemed to be the same happy boy, there was a weight to him that was undeniable.

“Embry,” she called out as she got out of her car. “Is everything okay?”

“Oh, uh, yeah. I guess,” he smiled forcefully. “Well, not exactly.” 

“Why don’t you come in, Em? It’ll be more comfortable to talk.” 

“Sure, thanks.” 

The boy quietly followed her, somehow trying to shrink his 6’4” frame. It was something he did ever since he shifted. The first time he had joined the pack after his first transformation, he had tried to sink into the background as much as he could. The last thing he wanted was to step on anyone’s toes, even if he had been told that he wasn’t.

(Y/N) directed them to the kitchen, quickly setting out drinks and food for the kid, knowing he’d definitely be hungry. “Help yourself to anything,” she said as she noted him sitting on his hands. “Mom still buys food like Sam and his friends come over to ransack our kitchen.” 

“Okay, uh, thanks.” 

“We’re not strangers, Embry,” she smiled kindly. “You can let loose with me.” 

“I’m sorry, it’s just I’m not used to being around other people that aren’t Jake and Quil.” 

“I get that.” She joined him at the kitchen table, sitting before him, a cup of water in her hand. She was all talked out for the evening, but she could see just how much he needed a friend at that moment. “So, what’s going on, kid?” 

“You know we’re only three years apart, right?”

“Still makes me older than you,” she laughed with him. “But, seriously, what’s up?” 

“Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m here,” he chuckled dryly. “I guess ever since I had my first shift I’ve been feeling kinda lonely. Lonely and confused. It took a couple of hours for my whole life to change and now I don’t really have anyone to talk to about it.”

“How are things at home?”

“Well, mom is always angry at me, but at least she’s stopped yelling. Though I don’t know if I like that better,” he responded sadly. She could see he was biting back tears. His lower lip was quivering and his eyes were pooling with water. “I know you weren’t here when it happened, but do you know Ms. Uley took everything?” 

“To this day they don’t really talk. But when I got here, I didn’t understand why my brother wasn’t home or why he and mom were fighting, or even why we couldn’t even spend time together. I knew he was hiding something, and I guess it hurt to think that he didn’t trust me enough to tell me whatever it was,” she recounted. “It’s a strange thing to watch from the outside. I mean, hearing rumors that my older brother, the man that basically took care of me when I was a kid, had started a gang and was recruiting other from the rez was astonishing. It wasn’t something I could even fathom.  But I don’t know how my mother felt when Saam started disappearing or when he moved out. She won’t talk to me about it.”

“He wanted to waive the silence rule for me,” Embry said sheepishly. “After the first week and seeing how hard it was at home, he told me I could tell my mom everything.”

“But you valued why it’s a secret,” she confirmed. "I understand that. And I also understand how lonely being part of the pack is. Especially coming into a place where you essentially know no one. But open yourself up to them. If you let them in, they will do the same. They’re your family now, Em.” 

“I know. I guess it’s just still all so new to me. I’ve been used to the same people my whole life; I’ve known only one truth my whole life, and it all changed.” 

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but would you ever ask your mom about who your dad is?”

“Don’t think I could ever ask without proving where the suspicions came from,” he shrugged. “Just like everyone here, I was under the impression that my dad was someone from the Makah tribe. She told me that much. But now…”

“That’s okay,” she smiled comfortingly. “But, Embry, I want you to know that regardless of what’s happening at home or with your friends, you’re not alone. You’ve got the pack and you’ve got me, okay? If there’s anything you don’t feel comfortable speaking to them, my door is always open. And if they’re ever giving you shit, I’ll put them in their place. They’re there for you, and so am I. I hope you know that.”

“Thank you, (Y/N),” he smiled brightly, a few tears falling down his outstretched cheeks. “It’s good to know I still have people I can lean on. You’ve always been nice to me, and I don’t know why.” 

“We all need a little kindness from time to time, Embry. I’m just doing my part in it.”

“Well, it’s greatly appreciated. And even if it doesn’t mean anything, I’m also here for you if you need someone to lean on.”

“It means a lot, Em,” she smiled. “More than you know.” 

The more she talked to the people that most needed it, the more she started to believe her own words. Maybe there was light on the other side of this mountain. Maybe (Y/N) would one day see the morning when the thought of him didn’t send a stake through her heart.

Next ->

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[creat0r-cat]

Iplier Egos Head Cannon - What Song in "Encanto" Did They Get Emotional During?

Darkiplier

Surface Pressure

Deep down he really does care about his “brothers”

He thinks he needs to keep up the tough guy act to make them think he isn’t afraid

He is

He REALLY is

He’s worried about the space/time continuum, keeping order, and making sure the ipliers’ existence stays a secret

He tries not to let the others see the tears that involuntarily start to fall as Louisa sings about her struggles as the strongest sister

Wilford

He probably heard all of the songs before watching the movie

He wouldn’t really cry for any of them in particular (feeling that he doesn’t necessarily relate to any of them)

However

He would look at certain egos to watch their reactions during different songs

He would notice the small things that happen and slowly learn more about his “brothers” based on the musical numbers and their lyrics

After the movie, he’d probably go and visit the egos that had the worst reactions (who got the most emotional or those who would straight up leave the room)

He did get a little bothered listening to “Dos Oruguitas” though

He didn’t get emotional per say

But watching Pedro die with the love song in the background kinda reminded him of when he lost Celine

Fortunately, he opted not to dwell on it too much

Actor

Waiting On A Miracle

This boy is INSECURE because of his breakup with Celine

Is he good enough?

Has he done enough?

Is he really worthy of anything?

He wants to be better

He wants his life to be better

But everything seems to slip through his fingers, coming back to resent him later on

He just wants someone to open their eyes and see that he’s worth their time, even if that person is Dark

Mirabel dancing on screen, singing about how she wished to be noticed as part of the family, made Actor tear up, wiping them away before someone could see them

Eventually, it got to be too much (especially seeing how Mirabel was pushed away by her family after trying to help them) and he left the room, using the excuse of getting more snacks

As soon as he entered the kitchen, he had a silent breakdown

Googleplier

Surface Pressure

I can’t really hear Louisa sing “I’m pretty sure I’m worthless if I can’t be of service” without thinking about Google and his first objective

Yes, his secondary objective is relatively important, but the first one is.. Well it’s his PRIMARY objective

If he can’t do anything other than hurt people, then what is the point of him being there?

His optics widen and his mechanical heart speeds up

“How do you feel?” survey pops up and he clicks on one

“I’m in this picture and I don’t like it”

Bingiplier

What Else Can I Do?

He’s imperfect

That’s all I really need to say, but I’ll continue

He’s always compared to Google and he knows deep down that he’s worth more than his search bar abilities

He doesn’t want to be perfect like Google

He just wants to be himself, which is hard when everyone is always doting on him for every mistake he makes

Isabella creating spiky plants and beautiful flowers in front of him makes his optics widen and he slowly smiles, feeling an odd mixture of happiness and sadness as he watches her accept her imperfections in spite of her family’s expectations

Dr. Iplier

He doesn’t really get emotional during the songs

However

When it’s revealed that Bruno has been shunned by his family because of his gift, he smiled sadly

“How unfortunate,” he thought, “for someone to be abandoned because of something uncontrollable and never be spoken of again for fear of taboo”

He’s seen patients in the hospital who never have anyone visit them

He always feels sad when he finds out that someone has been abandoned

He secretly makes trips to animal shelters for that reason, to visit the abandoned animals and give them some love

He gets happy again when Bruno is reunited with his loved ones who welcome him back with open arms

Yandereplier 

Dos Oruguitas

He wouldn’t relate to any of the English songs enough to have a real reaction

He gets emotional during certain parts of the movie because he recognizes a lot of what’s going on in the Madrigal family (Toxic family roles and stuff like that)

He feels bad for the characters (especially Mirabel and Bruno)

But when “Dos Oruguitas” starts playing and we find out the heartbreaking truth behind Abuelo Pedro’s death

WHOOOO BOY the tears start FLOWING

He hates to imagine the pain Abuela went through, losing the love of her life

Yandere, being a very romantic man, can’t stand the thought of his own senpai leaving him

Like, she’s everything to him!

He’d become very protective of her after watching this movie, afraid of anyone taking her away from him

He’s fine with the movie though, loves the music for the most part

Yancy

Friggin ALL OF THE SONGS

He loves music and finds each of them so amazing

He also kinda relates to each of the English sung songs in their own way (except “We Don’t Talk About Bruno”)

WOAM: The want to be extraordinary and help others

SP: The need to be the tough one and look out for his fellow prisoners and weaker “brothers”

WECAD: The want to live life how he wants without being the picture perfect civilian that the world wants him to be

He thinks very highly of this movie and loves it to bits

He does eventually become frustrated with how often “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” gets sung by people both online and in real life

Like, he gets that it’s a catchy song, but still, give it a break

Illinois

Waiting On A Miracle

Yes, Illinois is a special adventurous and flirtatious boy 

But not everything is really as it seems with him

His whole “Everyone falls in love with me” act is a facade

He’s trying to convince himself that he’s loved / cared about by someone

He took up adventuring to be different

To be a conversation starter

To be interesting so that somebody

ANYBODY

Would look his way and want to be around him 

After all..

He wasn’t special or cool enough growing up to have many / any friends

He sees way too much of himself in Mirabel and ends up leaving the group for a few minutes to cry in the bathroom

Engineer Mark

Waiting On A Miracle

What else needs to be said?

If given pictures of Engineer and Mirabel everyone would say they were the same image

Insecure

Feels unwanted

Wants to be impressive and help those around him with his talents and ideas

Hides behind a false persona of happiness

THEY

ARE

THE

SAME

PERSON

He’s close to leaving the room but stays put, activating his space helmet which is also soundproof so no one can see / hear him start to cry

Poor man can’t hear “Waiting On A Miracle” without having a breakdown

[fullscoreshenanigans]

I’m never going to be over Ray and Emma both having visions of Norman when they both desperately needed the comfort of his presence.

I could have gone with manga panels for both of these for uniformity, but yet again CloverWorks takes advantage of the medium shift to add such beautiful nuance to (hallucination!)Norman and Ray’s exchange in the S1 finale—Norman speaking to Ray so, so gently in both the English and Japanese dubs with his final remark featured here, Ray being so overwhelmed by everything that’s happened in the past hour already and now topped with seeing one of the two people who was most important to him reappear, after he thought he’d never see him again, that he nearly cries at his words. I can’t express how much I adore the way they handled this scene.

By turning out to be a hallucination/dream as opposed to a ghost, we’re shown Norman’s departed spirit isn’t actually guiding them as its own independent entity with an agenda in another incorporeal form, but instead how they both internalized his character and personality and, most importantly, how they wished to see him again that manifested his appearance (see this post for further differences between their perspectives of him on this particular night).

Ray has spent over half of his life utterly loathing himself for the choices he made in order to save Emma and Norman. So much so he built up a bravado around the act of his self-immolation for years, resulting in the manic fervor he displays when giving his speech to Emma in the few minutes before the clock strikes midnight on his officially listed birthday (this is also fueled by his fraught relationship with Isabella, but that’s for other posts). He not only believes he deserves to die for his actions and perceived inaction, but that he should do so in a violent, agonizing way.

Ray knows Norman, knows his sense of rigid morality well enough to account for him discovering his alliance with Isabella and using that to his advantage, to further push Norman away so he’ll be more comfortable with using him (he even chides Norman for not keeping his original plan to do this a secret) and so his death will hurt him and Emma less. And for roughly the entire back half of October 2045, Norman did genuinely hate Ray for his betrayal in the same way he hated Isabella, his reaction so visceral at being deceived and hurt by people he had loved all his life. He would have been willing to sacrifice Ray if not for intervention from Emma, which opened him up to directly confronting Ray and, in turn, led him to discover Ray’s true motives. He was so humbled and taken aback by the depths of Ray’s love and loyalty he returned to his original categorization of him: a dear friend who needed to be saved from his intended fate in their cruel world. Even if saving him came at the cost of his own life; even if he desperately wanted to live.

One could argue Ray hallucinating Norman up on the wall was to assuage his own guilt at being unable to save him as he originally planned (something that, on his darker days, I think Ray himself would believe), but I prefer to view it as the final marker of his truly internalizing one of the deepest desires in his heart that he had locked away for so long. After living under that oppressive reality of dehumanization and exploitation and believing that there was nothing else for him, that this was all there was, that things would never get better and after everything he did up to that point, he didn’t deserve better, on top of Isabella throwing him completely off balance by shipping Norman out early and just being this incredibly conflicting and painful presence in his life, to have his siblings come together for this escape plan and without putting it explicitly in words convey “you’re worth saving, Ray, and we love you,” and that they gave him hope back

(Chapter 36)

it fucks me up something fierce.

Emma’s hallucination of Norman is much more brief during this time.

No words are exchanged, but none are necessary.

(Chapter 31)

After two and a half months of grappling with the real, palpable grief she felt at his death, seeing him around every corner and hearing his voice, and sublimating it into her efforts to ensure the success of the escape, she’s able to find solace in her vision of him before the wall.

(Chapter 119)

It’s why she sheds no tears for him until their reunion nearly two years later.

(TPN Light Novel 1: A Letter from Norman - “The Day Emma Cried”; translated by @1000sunnygo​​)

But up until that point, she repeatedly draws strength and comfort from his memory.

Even before chapter 93, she’s unconsciously reaching for him in her fevered dreams.

(Chapter 45 Side Scene)

Him and Isabella, predominantly in black due to her belief they’re dead, and Ray and the rest of the escapees who she hopes are still alive, predominately in white.

(Chapter 50)

Though she had to compromise on their original plan by only bringing along those over five at its outset, she’s committed to their end goal. She was the spark that pushed them to strive for the ideal outcome instead of settling for the safest one that would be tinged in regrets, and he gave up everything to facilitate it.

(Chapter 53)

The three-panel overview of her thought process ends on her final handshake with Norman. It’s painful enough for this man to be insulting her living family, but when her thoughts drift to the boy who had given his life so they would have a chance to live freely, who came to believe in all those things the man was disparaging, it’s the final straw that breaks her silence. She won’t stand and let her family be disregarded so casually or let Norman’s memory be desecrated like that.

(Chapter 64)

She eventually brings him up to Yuugo in an attempt to connect with him over lost friends, and her framing of it is interesting because while viewing Norman as having agency in making his choice (as much as they can have under the circumstances in that he went willingly, which isn’t much, but from her perspective as a traumatized child), she states simply that she let him go. (Shoutout to the way SKATES delivers said line in the manga dub. Wonderfully heartbreaking. </3)

(Chapter 30)

After she and Ray both knew how much he wanted to see the world beyond their walled existence and live on with them.

So when we get to chapter 93 where she’s on the brink of death, having visions of all the suffering experienced on the grounds of Goldy Pond before finding refuge and strength in visions of her family, the one who catches he when she begins to sink is Norman.

Unlike with the hallucinations at the end of the escape arc that were meant to obfuscate his fate, at this point we as an audience know he’s alive at Lambda, so this is all coming from the perception of Norman Emma holds deep within her heart. Even from beyond, even if it meant being separated from her longer, she sees him guiding her out of the unknown, murky depths so she can continue fighting to actualize their plan. (To say nothing of the way she imagines him delicately intertwining their fingers upon reaching her as the way he catches her. The association with safety and gentleness is always present and yet another valued refuge in light of the violence she’s in the middle of.)

Minor tangent to end on, but it’s interesting to me how when Emma brings up Norman’s name among people she misses, during the only time they privately mention him, Ray takes a beat to gather himself before focusing on what’s still obtainable in this life.

(Chapter 55)

There’s zero chance she blames him for Norman’s shipment, but he’s still not ready to look her in the eye and delve into it where they could potentially draw attention from others when he considers it a failure to his two most precious people after years of meticulous planning.

(Chapter 65)

But Norman’s still in his thoughts too as he adamantly refuses to fail Emma again.

(Chapter 93)

Though he comes very close.

(Chapter 123)

And he’s the one to remind Emma of how special their bond is when she’s having doubts about voicing her disagreement with Norman’s plan.

[whumpshaped]

Hiii can we have a look into helle's life when they were alone at the mansion?? (after their siblings left but before they met beck)

-whumppmuhw

masterlist

tw emotional whump, lashing out, vampire whumpee, abandonment

Helle's footsteps were unbearably loud in the empty hallway. The constant, suffocating silence was nothing but a reminder of just how lonely they were, and they felt like they were starting to go a little crazy from it.

"I do not need any of you," they snapped, but the way their own voice bounced off the walls and got swallowed by the stillness did little to make them feel less alone. "I do not need a sire to tell me what to do. I do not need disloyal, ungrateful siblings."

They walked down the stairs, anxious to be doing something, anything, but found they had no idea how to pass the time. The books reminded them of the lady, the harpsichord still held the touch of Nikolai's skillful hands, the chessboard and the deck of cards brought forth memories of Isabella's gentle explanations and Aurora's childish whining about how it wasn't fair that she'd had so much more time to get good at the games.

They should've gotten rid of it all. They should've torn them all up, broken them, thrown them away, they should've purged every single item that served to make them so miserable; but parting with them was an even worse thought.

What if they came back? What would they say about it? Would they be angry with them? Would they call them stupid and emotional? An immature brat who couldn't handle rejection? Or abandonment? Or isolation?

"If you'd wished to hold onto these, you should not have left!" they exclaimed. "I am not the immature one! I am not the one who ran away without a word! What is that if not immaturity? What is it if not cowardice?"

They grabbed the chessboard and threw it against the wall, watching as the wood splintered and broke. The pieces flew in every which direction, rolling around loudly until they inevitably knocked into something and came to a halt.

Way too quickly, everything was still again.

Helle dropped to a crouch, then sat on the carpet, burying their face in their knees. They screamed into the soft fabric of their pants, earnestly, hoping to get out all the pointless frustration and grief. They didn't need any of it. They didn't want it. They didn't want to feel like it had all been for naught.

They stayed like that for a while after, clutching fistfuls of their hair and sobbing like a petulant child, unwilling to face the reality they themself had created. Why, why, why, why them. There were so many others out there, worse people, and yet all the damn tragedies seemed to be standing in line in front of their door.

They just wanted someone to tell them it had been worth it. That it wasn't wrong of them to want something better, to want to be free. That it wasn't a choice between constant torture and debilitating loneliness, or at least it wouldn't be, not forever.

They just wanted a hug, even if it was from a disgusting fucking corpse like themself.

They took a deep breath, slowly untangling their fingers from their hair. They didn't look up yet — they didn't want to see the ruined chessboard, nor imagine Isabella smacking them upside the head for having thrown a tantrum like that. But they breathed, mindfully and deliberately, and it made the weeping stop.

Clearly, there was nothing to do in the mansion. They had to get out.

They pushed themself to their feet, swaying a little from the utter exhaustion of it all, and walked to the front door. There would be plenty of warm bodies to hold out there, no? What did they need vampires for?

~

taglist: @whumpsday @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw @florissimps @nicolepascaline @oliversrarebooks @thecyrulik @pirefyrelight @there-will-always-be-blood @pigeonwhumps @echo-goes-mmm @whumpycries @morning-star-whump @d-cs @watermelons-dont-grow-on-trees @tauntedoctopuses @blueyellow8green @typewrittenfangs @whumpsoda @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @auroragehenna @whumpedydump

[wutheringmights]

Last Sunday, I finally finished reading for the first time Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. Don’t look at my username. You don’t need to think too hard about it. Don’t worry about it. 

I actually started Wuthering Heights in September, right after I finished Iron Flame. However, I had difficulty sitting down and committing to reading it-- not because it’s by any means hard to get through. Every time I sat down to read the novel, I was sucked right in (I even read 70 pages of it in one sitting). But I was a little burnt out from Iron Flame, and I think I needed a rest. A classic novel that requires brainpower isn’t the definition of a break. 

Frankly, this has been a bit of a bad year of reading for me. Besides a couple of books, everything I have read this year has been a total dud. Deep down, I’ve been craving the deep satisfaction and entertainment-value that I got from reading Dumas’s The Count of Monte Cristo. So I decided that tackling another classic would be my antidote. 

Was it? In a lot of ways, yeah. Wuthering Heights is fantastic. I loved it. 

Wuthering Height’s reputation can be sufficiently summarized by (believe it or not) a quote from fucking Twilight, where Bella Swan says that it’s the greatest romance ever written because the love Heathcliff and Catherine hold for each other is the only good things about them. 

I have to admit-- their romance is incredible. All of their romantic proclamations to each other made me melt. I was highlighting the hell out of their conversations. And the fact that they feel destined for each other in part because they are both so awful makes it better. I love reading about terrible people, and sometimes the terrible people should be in love with each other. 

But calling Wuthering Heights a romance really is reductive. I didn’t realize how much the book is misrepresented until I read it.

Wuthering Heights is about race (coincidentally, I discovered this days before the latest casting controversy for the newest adaptation started). Heathercliff is regarded as one of the great gothic figures, and the issue of his race is rarely ever brought up despite being the crux of his character. He was mistreated as a child because he was not white. He is the way he is because of prejudice, not because he is uniquely evil. I almost can’t believe how much this gets erased in any retelling of the story.

Wuthering Heights is also about how the law actively works against women. The threat of bad marriages looms over the leading ladies of the novel. Heathcliff is able to terrorize Isabella, and consequently Catherine Linton, because the law enables him to act how he pleases without any repercussions. He can steal Catherine’s inheritance because the law was not made to guarantee it for her. As one of my edition’s footnotes says: women at this period of time had less rights in England than many enslaved people had in other parts of the world. 

That’s where the horror comes from-- not the gloomy moors or the houses, but from how unstoppable a man becomes when he decides to ruin a woman’s life. 

Speaking of which, Catherine Linton really needs to be on the list of great gothic heroines. Is she naive? Sure, but she continued to have the audacity to pick fights with Heathcliff even after he ostensibly ruined her life. I love that for her.

Wuthering Heights is a fantastic novel about abuse. It lives up to its hype and more. I love it, and I think you will too.

[legendary-69420]

Chapter 11: Secrets and Lies

(Racing Hearts : VOLUME 2)

After two long months of recovery, Mark was finally back on track. His parents, Alessandro and Isabella, had been adamant about him taking more time to heal and take a break from racing, but Mark had convinced them otherwise—thanks to his signature puppy dog eyes. All it took was a few promises, and they reluctantly agreed to let him race again, knowing how much it meant to him.

As Mark walked through the Ferrari paddock, the familiar sights and sounds of the racing world stirred excitement within him. However, the excitement was interrupted by a familiar voice raised in frustration. Charles’ voice.

“You don’t get it, Arthur! I’m just trying to look out for you,” Charles said sharply.

“I don’t need you to!” Arthur’s voice was equally heated. “You’re always acting like you know better than everyone else. I don’t want to end up like you!”

Mark hesitated. He didn’t want to intrude, but the fight between the brothers seemed intense. After a few more tense words, Arthur stormed away, slamming the door behind him.

Mark watched as Arthur slumped onto a nearby bench. Without thinking twice, he walked over and sat next to him. “You okay?”

Arthur glanced at Mark, his expression still clouded with frustration. “Yeah… no. I don’t know,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair. “My brother drives me insane sometimes.”

Mark gave him a sympathetic smile. “Charles isn’t that bad. He’s just… under a lot of pressure. It gets to him.”

Arthur scoffed. “I don’t care. I don’t want to be anything like him.”

Unbeknownst to both of them, Charles had followed Arthur and was now hidden nearby, listening to the conversation.

Mark leaned back on the bench, thinking for a moment before speaking. “You know, I used to feel the same way.”

Arthur frowned. “What do you mean? How is this even related?”

Mark chuckled softly. “Believe it or not, I used to be a huge F1 nerd. Before I became a racer, I was just a kid watching every race on TV. I dreamed of being on the track one day.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow, confused by the sudden shift in conversation. “So?”

“So,” Mark continued with a grin, “your brother was the reason I wanted to be a racer. I remember watching him and thinking, ‘That’s the guy I want to be like. He’s so cool.”

Arthur blinked in surprise. “Charles?”

“Yeah,” Mark said, nodding. “I looked up to him. Watching him race made me believe I could do it too.”

Arthur seemed stunned. “Wait, so… you became a racer because of Charles?”

Mark smiled. “Pretty much. He’s the reason I’m here.”

Arthur was silent for a moment, clearly processing this. Mark gave him a gentle nudge. “And you know what? Even now, I still look up to him. I might not show it to his face, but I do.”

Mark then added with a cheeky grin, “But hey, don’t tell your brother about this. Last thing I need is to boost that idiot’s ego any higher.”

Arthur couldn’t help but laugh. “Your secret’s safe with me.”

From his hidden spot, Charles remained quiet, his heart stirred by what he’d overheard. He had never known Mark felt that way, and hearing it now—after everything between them—touched him more deeply than he expected.

Mark stood up, offering a hand to Arthur. “Come on, let’s go find your brother.”

Arthur smiled and took Mark’s hand, standing up from the bench. “Thanks, Mark.”

As they walked back toward the paddock, Charles slipped away quietly, still processing what he had just heard. Something had shifted within him, and for the first time, he saw Mark in a different light—both as a competitor and as someone who admired him. Secrets had been revealed, and old frustrations had started to fade, though there was still more to uncover.

For now, though, it was enough. ---

[elvenbeard]

Exit Strategy

Cyberpunk 2077 Fanfic

Summary: V finally meets again with Dr. Fuentes, who during their first meeting already seemed very intrigued in his case. With not much left to lose, he takes her offer for an informal appointment - but even so, in Night City everything comes at a price. (Post-Sun-Ending, mostly canon-compliant, Chapter 13/?, 8258 words, Kerry Eurodyne/V - notes at the end) >> Previous Chapter >> Read from the Beginning

Kerry leaned over from the driver’s seat of his car and gently turned V’s head to give him a brief goodbye kiss. V didn’t want it to end, didn’t want to unglue his ass from the passenger seat, or go to that appointment with Fuentes. His hand lingered on Kerry’s thigh too long and gripped too tightly for Kerry to not notice. He had been right. V truly hated hospitals and doctors and anything to do with either.

“Ya sure you don’t want me to come?” Kerry asked with the utmost genuine worry in his eyes.

“Not that I don’t wanna,” V whispered, “But I’ll manage. And you’ll manage.”

He tried to convince himself more than Kerry really, and Kerry’s little grin told him that he knew that just as well. So, he just kissed him once more for good measure.

“I’ll give ya a call as soon as I’m out and I’ll be all yours for the rest of the day. Promise.”

“Okay,” Kerry nodded, beard brushing against V’s lips briefly. Then he withdrew, and V slowly lifted his hand to the doorhandle.

He wasn’t sure how, but somehow, he made it out of the car eventually. Exited the steel and gold colored Guinevre, waved Kerry goodbye briefly as he slowly drove off towards Charter Hill. Then he entered the MedCenter with his heart beating in his throat.

Finding the right name plate on the right room turned into a downright scavenger hunt in the hospital’s endless white hallways that all looked the same. A kind med-tech pointed V into the right direction eventually and opened the door for him. Now he was sitting in a too comfortable armchair in Dr. Fuente’s office. He had been a little early, but she was close to running late. V wasn’t sure if he liked it better that way or not.

His neck was stiff and hurt, partially from the accident still, but also from sleeping on the couch last night, huddled up to Kerry closely. After their pizza had arrived, they’d watched old movies until they both eventually dozed off. Falling asleep to the bad audio of an old action film and Kerry’s soft snoring had been another of those moments he wouldn’t have minded lasting a lifetime.

He pulled up the files on Fuentes again, gave them another quick read. Nix had sent them late last night and V had studied them over breakfast this morning. He had come to the same conclusion as the Afterlife’s resident netrunner: nothing too out of the ordinary with this doctor. At least on the surface.

Isabella Fuentes was born January 19th, 2024, in Puerto Rico. When she was two, the family moved to Tucson, Arizona. She was divorced, had two daughters, both adults around V’s age. One moved to Los Angeles two years ago, the other still studied at NCU. Fuentes herself had come to Night City with a medicine scholarship for the same university back in the middle of the century.

So much to the pretty ordinary basics. But V perked up when he learned that soon after finishing her studies, Fuentes worked for BioDyne for a considerable number of years. During their first meeting she had been quite adamant about not having any loyalties to that particular corporation. Nix was unable to turn up details on why – or how – she left, but that she got out of the corporate world alive after such a long time spoke for itself. BioDyne may not have been as militaristic as Arasaka, but V doubted they just let go of long-term employees without repercussions for either side.

After the end of her corporate career, Fuentes worked for Trauma Team briefly, in the field. She was injured during the time of the Unification war, although not related to war activities. She continued on the administrative side as she recovered and eventually took on her current role at the MedCenter’s neurology department. Ever since the end of the war she’d been exactly there, predominantly helping veterans and contributing to studies in her field. A long and remarkable career so far, even if not nearly as prestigious as it could have been with her prerequisites. V was certain there were parts of her past she would like to avoid talking about, and Nix had offered to dig deeper into some aspects… But for now, V was content with what he had. The rest would be determined by how this meeting went.

It was almost 10:15 at this point, no sign of the doctor still. V took a deep breath and looked around the room. The office was on one of the higher floors of the building. Not overly large or impressive, but it had a decently sized window. The shutters were closed, sadly, otherwise the view across Little China may have been quite beautiful this morning. All light came from some simple embedded ceiling lights, a warm white glow, a barely audible hum. The furnishings were sparse, a large grey desk front and center, two armchairs, an office chair, all upholstered with white synleather. V had uncomfortable flashbacks to Blue-Eyes’ office, but this room was thankfully too narrow for secret floor compartments containing synthetic bodies. The wall to his right was lined with shelves displaying mostly books, documents, and data shards, as well as a few personal items. Some quaint figurines that could’ve been Mexican, but V wasn’t sure. Souvenirs from a trip long in the past. There also were some tiny, colorful flowerpots that looked like they were hand-painted by children, containing even tinier succulents that may have been just plastic. To his left, on the wall opposite to the bookshelves, was a door, but not the one he had entered through. Just when he finished the thought, V suppressed a wince as the door right behind him slid open and a slightly out of breath Dr. Fuentes finally entered her office.

“Please excuse the delay, I had an emergency this morning and my whole schedule is shifted now,” she said, then stopped by V’s side briefly, extending a hand. V got up to shake it.

“Good morning, first of all,” she said, nodding and smiling politely, “I’m happy you’re back. You look better already than last week.”

“Thanks,” V said briefly and sank back into his chair while Fuentes went to open the window shutters, letting in some natural light. She hung her white coat over the backrest of her chair then sat down across from V behind her desk and folded her hands on her lap. Intelligent dark eyes were fixated on him, and V tried not to let his thoughts run too wild just yet with assumptions and theories about potential ulterior motives on her side.

“Alright,” Fuentes said as she had finally caught her breath again, “I suggest we cut straight to the chase.”

“Yes,” V nodded, “Thank you again for taking the time.”

“Of course,” Fuentes nodded, “I have to admit, I have been thinking about you and your case a lot these past days. Even with the limited knowledge I have so far, I still believe I may be able to help. If you are willing to tell me more about your condition now.”

‘Willing’ wasn’t the word V would’ve used. It was more a necessity at this point that he got help.

“I will,” he said, “But only if you can provide me with a certain level of security.”

Fuentes shifted in her chair slightly and frowned, then she opened one of the drawers of her desk and pulled out a tablet. She turned it on and began to search for something on it while maintaining eye contact with V as best as she managed.

“You’ve come here today as my patient. As far as I’m concerned, everything, anything that we discuss, falls under the doctor-patient confidentiality. My contract with the Little China MedCenter binds me to treat your data and information with utmost care and discretion. All data we store is locked away securely, all in accordance with your Trauma Team policy. I can resend you the patient information papers and contracts, although I think most of them you should already have…”

“I care less about the MedCenter than about what you personally do with the information I’m going to give you,” V said, and Fuentes stopped her search, narrowing her eyes slightly.

“I’m not sure what you’re alluding to,” she said, still polite, but shoulders visibly more tense than before.

“Nothing,” V shook his head carefully, “This is just not something I tell every random stranger on the street… no offense, of course.”

He paused.

“If I have to play with open cards, I need you to as well.”

A short, knowing smile flashed across Fuentes’ lips, and again, it was for just a split-second. V had known he was onto something from the first moment they ever looked at each other face to face. The question was not whether or not Fuentes could help him, but if he even wanted her to help him.

Fuentes put the tablet down and leaned back in her chair, brushing a black and grey curl out of her face. The late morning light coming in through the window right behind her framed her in a hazy golden glow, almost as if she wasn’t real, just wishful thinking in a hopeless situation.

“Alright,” she said calmly and nodded, “It is only fair.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, then rested her chin on her interlocking fingers.

“I know very well who you are, V. They call you ‘King of the Afterlife’ on the streets. A mercenary with a background at Arasaka’s department for Counterintelligence, and that’s only where the rumors and hearsay begin... Admittedly, I wonder how much of it all is true.”

V wasn’t surprised. He was certain his old Trauma Team records from his time at Arasaka were still stored somewhere. They must’ve come up when the hospital checked his insurance status after the accident. And the hearsay and rumors, well… Didn’t have to pay a fixer much for that kind of superficial intel.

This was not what he had hoped she would open their conversation up with, but it was a start.

“From my experience, telling the truth is the easiest way to make people believe you’re lying,” he decided to say. Fuentes chuckled briefly, then nodded, serious as ever. She looked him directly in the eyes, piercing, trying to read his thoughts. He wondered if she had cyberoptics – probably, as a neurosurgeon, and with her age. Doubtful though whether she had the means to covertly scan his system and biometrics. She wouldn’t be very successful either way, and the little information of him that was on public record he didn’t care about people knowing.

“Is it true you’re one of the best that money can buy?” she then asked with sincerity. Regardless, this time V was at least a little taken aback by how sudden and straightforward the question came.

“And I thought you wanted to help me, not the other way around…”

He leaned back in his chair too now and crossed his legs loosely. Undoubtedly, he was intrigued by this turn of the conversation, but at the same time his guts twisted into a knot.

“I think we can help each other,” Fuentes said, “And we both have a lot to lose.”

“Is that so?”

She smiled sadly, then shook her head.

“No, actually, I lost a lot already. And not even Night City’s best mercenary could bring it back,” she said, voice calm and composed, “But I would be satisfied just with plain revenge as well.”

The fire in her eyes was reignited, the same fire from their first meeting, the same anger Takemura had always spoken with about “restoring his honor” while to V it had always sounded more like a thirst for revenge at the core. Restoring an order that couldn’t be restored when he could’ve, should’ve just turned his back to the Arasakas the moment he had the chance.

Something like that was easy to say for V, of course, who hadn’t dedicated his whole life to a corporation.

And now, Fuentes, mysteriously non-associated with her former employer BioDyne, spoke of revenge. That could only mean trouble, and V hoped not to a similar degree as with Goro and the Arasakas.

“Not a fan of revenge,” he said truthfully, “It rarely solves anything and only creates more problems, usually.”

Fuentes laughed dryly.

“So what, live and let live?”

“Focusing on just living so far has at least brought me further than trying to get back at everyone who ever wronged me.”

“Maybe you haven’t been wronged badly enough yet then. You’re still young,” Fuentes smiled, but her eyes didn’t. V considered her words for a moment. Somewhere in the distance a barely audible announcement droned over loudspeakers, calling doctor so-and-so to room this-and-that. Otherwise, it was eerily quiet in this part of the hospital. No beeping machines, no hectically running people in the hallways. V began to understand why she’d wanted to meet him in her private office instead of an examination room downstairs now.

“Back in April I was shot in the head by my fixer and dumped in a landfill,” V then said, “I think I’ve been wronged a fair amount in my life so far. Although that surely takes the cake.”

He paused for a moment.

“Admittedly, had I had the chance, I’d returned him the favor. Although, I wouldn’t have called it revenge. Justice suits me better.”

Fuentes said nothing for a couple of moments, just studied his face. V could see her thoughts racing, although he wasn’t quite sure about her next move just yet.

“That’s your old injury?” she then simply asked and picked up her tablet again. She pulled up his brain scans and sat it down in the center of the desk so they both had a good view of the screen.

“A degeneration like this is nothing I’ve ever seen caused by a mere gunshot wound,” she said, “Although, I don’t recall someone still standing in front of me and talking normally with an injury as deep and massive in that general area of the brain…”

V’s pulse sped up just slightly when she looked back up at him again, inquisitive and head tilted slightly.

“You were very lucky…”

“’Luck’ doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface,” he said, peeling away at his cast again. The little plastic barrier between his left thumb and index finger was smooth as glass already from his consistent fidgeting with it.

“Was… or rather, is it an infection?” she continued to inquire, “I can imagine, ending up in a landfill barely alive with a wound like that…”

“I guess you could call it that, although not from the cause you assume,” V smirked, suppressed a chuckle. He almost heard Johnny’s disapproving scoff, saw him in the corner of the room leaned against the shelf, flipping him off with a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. Almost, not really. Not like he used to be able to.

“You remember the murder of Saburo Arasaka?” he tried to bring himself back into the conversation, out of his head. He wanted to bait the doctor some more, get her intrigued.

Fuentes seemed confused but nodded.

“His son killed him, or so was the conclusion in the end. Although, I remember assassins were blamed for it at first, hired killers. It was all over the news for weeks, until the parade. Then that was all over the news…”

Slowly, it began to dawn on her.

“You were involved in that?”

“Unwillingly, not directly,” V quickly clarified, “But before I explain how this is all connected and important… What do you want from me?”

Fuentes slumped back into her chair slightly and cleared her throat, disappointed almost.

“Would you be open to a job even if it boils down to a simple act of revenge?” she asked, then huffed amusedly, “I never would have guessed to ever ask a self-proclaimed mercenary that question.”

“Yeah, we’re generally pretty amoral people, all the way through to our cold, money-filled hearts,” V said bluntly, and Fuentes cheeks turned a slightly darker shade. She cleared her throat.

“Don’t worry, I’m joking,” V added after keeping her in suspense for at least a little bit, “Whether or not I take a job usually depends on what I can gain from it, so… Tell me the details. I’m listening.”

“You are very different from how I imagined you,” she then sighed, avoiding answering again, “I was surprised the other day already, but I chalked it up to the shock, your medication...”

V shifted in his seat slightly but tried to keep his posture relaxed and open.

“What did you imagine?” he asked.

“I’m not even sure anymore,” she said, “Less strings attached… or rather, different strings altogether.”

“You thought, ‘I’ll just hire someone to solve my problem for me, how complicated can it be’?”

V couldn’t hold himself back, because very often it boiled down to that. Not that he minded it particularly. Fuentes shrugged.

“Maybe,” she said, “In the end, it doesn’t matter. We’re here now and… And if you can help me with my problem, I’m more than willing to help you with yours free of charge in exchange.”

“Money’s not an issue,” V said, as Kerry had reassured him many times before as well. Truthfully, he still hoped he could somehow get out of having to assist her revenge plans, whatever they were.

“Well… regardless, you may not have a choice but help me.”

And here it was, the catch V had been waiting for, as if she’d read his mind.

“Why don’t we finally stop with the games, and you tell me what you want,” he said, no longer hiding his growing impatience.

Fuentes slowly turned to open a drawer on the other side of her desk. She pulled out a small black shard case, somewhat old-fashioned looking. Carefully, almost as if she feared it could shatter, she placed it on the desk and then slowly slid it closer to V without letting go.

“Have a look,” she said, “Far from a professional dossier, I fear, but I hope it helps as a start.”

V reached out to take the case and ejected the contained shard. He knew the model, knew that even if Fuentes had put a daemon or virus on it and this whole meeting was an elaborate trap, his system had enough countermeasures built in to catch it before it could cause any real damage. Not letting his hesitation shine through he inserted the shard into his free neck slot. A handful of files popped up on his interface, indeed not in the quality or as organized as he was used to from his fixers. But it was a more than decent start for the work of an amateur like Fuentes.

He opened a video clip front and center among the files. It was only a few seconds long and looped, showing a man around Fuentes’ age, maybe a bit older. The quality of the footage wasn’t the best, as if illegally captured from a public camera feed. The man wore a dark suit but was otherwise rather non-descript. Light hair, glasses… ironically, the same way Fuentes kept reminding him of Takemura, this man reminded V of Hellman. He had to do a double take, but no, the more often he saw him get out of a Delamain cab and hurriedly walk towards the entrance of what appeared to be a hotel, the more certain he was that this wasn’t Hellman. V skimmed through the other documents attached.

“Nathaniel Sutter,” he said, as he began to read through the files, “The name rings a bell… Not sure why though…”

Fuentes shrugged slightly and shook her head.

“It would surprise me if you knew him,” she said, “He is good at keeping a low profile, always has been. Finding a way to get to him, wherever he is at the moment, would be part of your job.”

“Last known place of residence Palm Street 78, Apartment 3, Charter Hill. Back in March still. Worked at BioDyne as a high-ranking researcher, manager… stopped active work for the corporation five years ago but remains on the executive board until today,” V summarized what he could gather from the files, some of them internal BioDyne documents he was certain were not meant for outsider’s eyes. Others were reports from business magazines, newsfeed articles, and so on, also not his go-to reading material. But he was certain he’d seen the name before somewhere.

“Let me guess…” he said after copying the data over and ejecting the shard again to return it to its case, “He ruined your career and you wanna get back at him as a late revenge, forever leave him in the unknown about what he did wrong?”

Fuentes smiled and shook her head as she took the shard back from V.

“No,” she said, holding the case gently between her fingertips before slowly looking back up at him, “I want his last thoughts to be regret. I want him to know that it was me who had him killed, and that it was for stealing my life’s work for nothing but the furtherment of his pathetic career.”

She spat her words out like venom, her eyes burning with disdain. V was quick to put two and two together. Also, he liked her bravado. He preferred clients that wanted their targets to know exactly why they met their demise over those who wanted him to do all the dirty work to keep their own conscience and hands clean.

“So, I think what you want is justice as well, not revenge,” he said after a short pause.

“What’s the difference, in your opinion?” Fuentes asked, leaning back in her chair again, eyebrows raised and shrugging slightly.

“Revenge is all about emotion,” V said, “You wronged me, so I’ll wrong you back, because I’m pissed or upset or otherwise hurt. Emotions always make things complicated. Justice, on the other hand, is logical. You analyze what went wrong, how you’ve been wronged… and then find an adequate punishment.”

Fuentes chuckled.

“A mercenary or a philosopher?”

“Neither,” V said, “Not really.”

Fuentes had no response to that, only smiled as if something had just clicked into place. V took the opportunity to change the subject away from him again.

“So, you did work on what they’re now marketing as the cure for MS?” he asked and finally Fuentes nodded. She let out a heavy sigh, her eyes drifting across her bookshelves briefly before finding V’s again.

“Of course, in the end, it was all in the name of BioDyne,” she explained, “It had always been a project intended to create great profits for people already a hundred times richer than what six generations of my family ever called their own. But somewhere deep down I was convinced, young and naïve, that regardless it was an innovation that could save the lives of thousands one day.”

“Was he your supervisor?” V asked, once more pulling up the video of Sutter and sending a handful of somewhat decent still frames to Nix for a quick background check. He would’ve loved to dig up some dirt on him himself, but if Fuentes kept her word he’d still be occupied for a while here for further testing and examination of his symptoms.

“We both started at BioDyne almost at the same time, both fresh out of university,” she explained, “He came here from a different city, and we bonded over both being outsiders in NC. Originally, we also shared similar goals, but somewhere down the line something changed.”

“Heard that story a million times before,” V said, exaggerating, but Fuentes just nodded again, knowingly.

“It’s as old as time,” she said, “But it still hurts, looking back… Anyway yes, you guessed right, he ruined my career – but not even in the sense that I was focused on advancing it. My primary goal was furthering my research, helping people. Long story short, something somewhere was going on in another department of the company, and because of it, even though we were ready, we weren’t allowed to publish our work.”

“Marketing schemes?” V wondered aloud, remembering similar ploys from Arasaka. Two departments that didn’t even know of each other’s existence influenced each other’s operations, which caused many frustrations on both sides. A handful of times it had been down to V and his subordinates even to play two departments against each other to test morale and company loyalty. He was sure all big corporations worked similarly on the inside.

“I have no clue,” Fuentes only shrugged, “I just know one night I went home none the wiser, and the next morning all my data and findings were gone because I had complained about the management’s practices.”

“To Sutter?” V asked and Fuentes nodded.

“He was also the only one who had access to my data, knew where I stored some more obscure findings that weren’t even relevant to our research. It was all gone, and I was told to pack my stuff and leave. And to better keep my mouth shut or else I’d never find work in my field again.”

“How long ago was that?” V asked, just to be sure the information Nix had given him matched up with her story.

“Fifteen years this year,” Fuentes said.

“A long time,” V nodded, “Why now the sudden lust for revenge?”

Fuentes smiled sadly.

“Because the cure is out now and people are being helped,” she said, “I saw some first results and findings, read the recent studies they conducted, and everything is working as intended. I don’t care anymore what happens now, as long as I can be sure my work wasn’t in vain.”

V frowned.

“Your work for BioDyne wasn’t in vain then, no,” he said, “What about you helping me though, what timeline of events are you picturing here?”

If she would only help him after he took care of Sutter and then instantly got assassinated by BioDyne agents, V would’ve been used as nothing but a tool once more. That he refused.

“I guess that depends on how urgently you need my help,” she said, “And how invasive my help is going to have to be.”

She finally returned the shard case to her desk, and V noticed now that there were some additional little clicking noises – a secret compartment probably, as she should keep something like that in one.

“Shall we begin with the classic ‘how are we feeling today, Mr. Ezaki?’, or would you like to continue where we left off, with the infection and the gunshot wound?”

The pit in V’s stomach grew as there really was no way to evade the topic anymore now. Fuentes had played with open cards, given him a decent bunch of incriminating information that he may as well use against her this instant if he wanted to. She’d put her trust in him, now he had to do the same.

“I will omit some details here and there, as they’re not relevant to my current situation anymore,” he began slowly, “And I want to protect the identities of some people – and you from knowing too much, too.”

“Of course,” Fuentes said calmly. V took a deep breath and steeled himself to tell his story once more, and once more as well to a person he barely knew.

“How familiar are you with Arasaka’s ‘Secure your Soul’ program?”

“Somewhat, but only on a superficial level,” Fuentes said, “It didn’t work as intended, as far as I know, but I can do some more reading on it.”

“If you need anything, I can also send you some more substantial data on it. It technically isn’t even classified anymore, was all part of the data leaks.”

More or less, at least.

“Sure…” Fuentes said, “Although I’m not sure I can follow why this is important. Wasn’t ‘Secure your Soul’ marketed as a means to speak to the dead, basically? What the engrams were actually used for in the end we’ll not delve into just now, but… You’re alive, most certainly.”

“Yeah… somewhat.”

V sat up straight again, cleared his throat, and began to recount the events that were set in motion at No-Tell-Motel in the early morning hours of April 17th 2077. He left out most details, especially about the hunt for Hellman, Evelyn’s involvement and what became of her. He didn’t mention Alt or Johnny by name and omitted all that happened in Dogtown entirely.

What he told Fuentes about was the Relic kickstarting him back into life, somehow, Johnny’s presence and his engram creeping into his brain. He explained how the Relic 2.0 was supposed to work and that his didn’t as intended and yet even better than imagined by its creator. He tried to explain what happened at Mikoshi, and how he felt like afterwards, ever since… Blue-Eyes he decided not to mention yet, but he touched upon trying varying “therapies”, of which the most recent one had many undesirable side-effects.

Fuentes listened with great attention, rarely interrupted him, and when she did, only to clarify the more medical aspects V touched upon. She noted down his symptoms during his attacks back then and now, and requested access to any of the scans Vik had done during all this time to get an idea of the overall development of his physical and mental state in the last months.

“So, if I’m understanding you correctly,” she eventually said after V had concluded his story, “The V I’m talking to right now, your personality, memories, and so on… is all stored on the biochip as an engram?”

Hearing it spelled out like that by a stranger somehow made sound even more surreal than it was. Or a slap in the face, a reality check V didn’t want or need.

“Can you understand now why this is not something I want to be public knowledge?” he asked, and Fuentes nodded pensively. She leaned back in her chair for a moment, looked up at the ceiling, then returned her attention back to her tablet.

“Your brain scans seemed so normal though,” she said, pulling the images up again as if she needed to be sure, “Well, a mild concussion, but other than that…”

“That’s beyond what I’m able to explain,” V said, “Some of my previous doctors said brain scans could seem normal on the surface, because my body has to be kept up and running somehow. There is some brain activity, but all higher functions are carried out on the Relic. The chip itself undid some of the damage from the gunshot because it tried to mimic, recreate the engram’s brain. I’m not even sure how far completed the process was, but given how easy it was for him to take over in the end, pretty far I guess.”

V's stomach turned at the thought, the memories, the feeling of sheer helplessness as he could only watch as Johnny piloted his body. Wondering still what happened during the times when he was fully blacked out, as Johnny had never been a fan of telling the whole truth.

Fuentes folded her hands on the table again, brow furrowed and studying V’s face.

“Your own engram can’t settle back in the same way… why exactly?”

“The Arasaka-AI I spoke to said the process I underwent couldn’t be reversed. My theory is that, since this specific Relic is a faulty prototype, it simply is incapable of kickstarting another process of rewiring my brain again. Or even if it could, my body has been through too much already to be able to take such radical adjustments.”

“Some radical measures may be needed indeed,” Fuentes said quietly, and V shivered, “But I am taking into account that you’re currently not in good health and we have to be careful. If you’re willing to accept my help still, of course.”

“I would like to hear out your plan at the very least,” V said, not trying to let his desperation show, “And, for my friends’ sake... maybe you can give me your opinion how bad it is. How much time I got left if things go on like they do currently.”

Fuentes nodded, then they both went quiet for a couple of seconds.

“This Arasaka-AI…” she broke the heavy silence, “Did it ever occur to you that it may have been lying about your condition?”

V thought about it for a moment.

“To gain what exactly?” he wondered.

“Not sure, just a thought,” Fuentes shrugged, “An AI created by Arasaka surely would act in Arasaka’s best interests. In this case, discourage you from leaving and carrying all their secrets out into the world.”

V shuddered, hoped that Fuentes didn’t notice it.

“The engram might’ve done it instead of me, had I given up my body,” he said, he hoped, “Besides, it’s a little bit more complicated than that with this particular AI. But that’s none of your concern.”

“Alright,” Fuentes nodded, “As I said, it was just a thought.”

She picked up her tablet again, read through her notes. Then she motioned to get up from her chair, setting the tablet back down, but hesitated.

“May I have a look at the chip?” she asked, still in her chair waiting for V’s okay. He froze.

“Just the slot, examine it externally,” she clarified, made tapping gestures.

V shifted in his seat slightly.

“I’d just… ask you to be careful.”

“Of course,” she nodded, then got up and slowly walked around her desk, past the bookshelves, coming to a halt to V’s right.

“May I?” she asked, smiling, and moving gently, as if she could sense his tension and fear. She probably could, to be fair. She motioned wanting to touch his head and neck, and after another couple of seconds of hesitation V nodded and turned his head away to bare his neck ports. Fuentes put one hand on the back of his neck, the other on his head, gently and slowly turning it to get a good look.

“Is this alright?” she made sure, “If at any point it hurts, let me know.”

“It’s fine,” V said, his voice much quieter and timid than he wanted. His whole body was tingling from tension and anxiety.

Fuentes’ hand wandered from the back of his neck to the ports behind his ear, embedded directly into his nervous system and connecting what was left of him on that chip with what was left of his body.

“This one?” she said, tapping beside the port that contained the Relic, and V shivered, his entire skin covered in goosebumps in an instant. He couldn’t reply.

“Does it hurt?” Fuentes asked gently, “It doesn’t look infected but…”

“Been having issues with these ports since I was a teen,” V explained briefly, “Didn’t take an upgrade well one time and ever since they’ve been prone to act up.”

“I see…” Fuentes nodded, “I bet slotting an experimental biochip in there didn’t improve the situation.”

“No...”

She let go of his head again and moved away slightly to give him space. V took a deep breath and almost reflexively his hand shot up to his neck, brushing over the slots as if to make sure they were still there.

Fuentes leaned against the edge of her desk, her arms crossed.

“You ever take the metro?” she asked after a pause, “Hang out in shady bars and dark alleys?”

“What?” V squinted up at her, hand still covering the Relic.

“I’m just wondering what you’re doing against picksockets,” she explained calmly, but her brow deeply furrowed with worry, “Or in general, any other protective measures you utilize to not have someone come up at you and yank this from your neck.”

V dropped his hand and began to fumble with his cast again.

“Doing everything in my power,” he said quietly at first, but at the same time, anger welled up in him. At his situation, not at the doctor necessarily.

“I’m well aware how risky it is to just step out the front door like a normal person, when my life is far from that. But… what’s the alternative? Lock myself up until I die?”

Fuentes nodded pensively, understandingly.

“You mentioned this therapy you tried… You think the medication has increased this feeling of apathy, of not being able to voice your thoughts clearly? How long since you’re not taking the pills anymore?”

“Just a day,” V said, not exactly happy about the topic change either.

“Do you feel clearer now than you did a few days ago?”

He paused to really think it through. His emotions were all over the place, the last few days had been an intense firework of horrible impressions and new, uncomfortable discoveries. He’d had troubles being honest with Kerry, although, their argument yesterday morning, even if it hurt, had been very straightforward. Much more so than many of the other conversations they’d had lately.

“I… can’t say for sure,” he said, “Maybe. But I’ve had clearer days in-between occasionally, too.”

“Alright,” Fuentes said, then she walked back to her chair to sit down. She looked at V intensely again for what seemed like an eternity. He didn’t recall the last time he felt as naked while being fully clothed.

“Knowing your case a bit better now, I see two main problems. The first: the decline of your physical and mental health. Your deteriorating nervous system, seizures, depression, depersonalization, and so on. That is something I need to examine more closely, put you through some tests. And we have to run a whole bunch of scans, unfortunately. Some we can do today, but others take some time and require planning in advance.”

“Yay, tests and scans,” V said as unenthusiastically as possible, and he didn’t even have to try hard.

Fuentes chuckled.

“I know, you’ve probably been through that a lot with your previous doctors. If you still have their findings available, I’d love to see them, too.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” V said, raising his hand to slow Fuentes down, “But can you tell me like… in general if you have any plan, any idea of how to tackle this already? Just so I know where I’m at.”

In fact, he solely wanted, needed something concrete beyond “we need to do tests” that he could tell Kerry. A sliver of hope, a promise, maybe, that V didn’t need to keep but the doctor. He needed someone else who could take the blame if things went down south if he was being completely honest.

“That would bring me to your second main problem: the biochip continuously taking up a slot in an already strained system while being extremely exposed to external influences,” Fuentes said, “There’s a reason why these slots are not intended for long-term usage, and we rely on built-in cyberware solutions for permanent modification purposes. In your case, you currently have no other choice, of course. But it is still something that should be tackled in the short rather than the long term.”

Fuentes turned the tablet back on and opened V’s brain scans in a program that allowed her to draw onto the 3D-model, visualizing her ideas.

“I should preface this by saying that yes, your case is unique. I’ve never done anything like this before. I have an idea, but I need to do a lot of research and preparations first, still… and you can use that time to prepare everything else you feel you need to prepare… Just in case, if you catch my meaning.”

V swallowed.

“That invasive, then, huh?” he tried to joke to ease the tension. Fuentes smiled sadly. She drew some lines along the backside of the scan of V’s head.

“My current idea is to create a safer container and environment for the chip inside your skull,” she explained, “We can make use of the existing connections… it will have to stay in its port, obviously, but we can pull it inside as a whole and place it roughly here maybe.”

She drew a vertical line along the back of his skull, right at the base.

“The exact spot I’ll have to determine once I have a full scan of your system configuration, nervous system, and so on,” she added, “And yes, the procedure how I’m picturing it right now will be invasive, painful, probably leave scars… but it will contribute to stabilizing the Relic’s overall state, having it in a container actually designed to hold it long-term.”

“I see,” V said, but he struggled to take in the information, even though Fuentes seemed extremely confident and competent in the way she explained and sketched out her thoughts.

“In regard to your deteriorating health, well,” she said after a moment of contemplation, “As I said, I need to run tests first. We need to take as much strain from your body as possible, you need to rest, relax.”

“Easier said than done. There’s an BioDyne executive board member I’ve been asked to kill.”

Fuentes’ face twitched briefly, and she just nodded.

“I know,” she said, voice heavy, “But as I said, there may be no way around it.”

V frowned.

“I think the best way to tackle your health concerns, would be a modified version of the nanobots we used in our studies at BioDyne back then,” she explained, “They’re not the same anymore as the ones utilized in the current treatments, BioDyne heavily controls their usage too. Obviously. But I know for a fact that Sutter kept some of our prototypes to himself, secretly of course. Gloating, and so sure of himself he’d never be discovered.”

V was tempted to ask for a moment what Sutter would keep them for, but with the information he had on him currently, the answer was obvious: to sell them at a huge profit should things ever go awry with BioDyne. Every single person rising high enough in the ranks of a corporation had exit plans like this. Had V not spent his last 6 months at Arasaka high out of his mind most of the time, had he not invested his spare time and money into drugs and random hookups but an exit strategy, he probably wouldn’t be sitting here right now. Admittedly though, he wasn’t sure where he would be sitting instead, and if he’d be any happier or maybe even more miserable.

“And you could reprogram these prototypes to… reprogram my nervous system, fix all the damages, basically?” V concluded.

“That would be my approach, yes.”

He leaned back in his chair again, rubbed his forehead, his temples throbbing slightly.

“This therapy I tried,” he said, “The one with the bad side effects. I think that one utilized nanobots as well.”

Fuentes tilted her head.

“You think it utilized nanobots?” she asked, “Your doctor didn’t discuss their use with you?”

“It’s… complicated.”

He lowered his hand and looked back at her again.

“Believe me, the less you know about this, the better. But I think I was given something as part of a treatment that I shouldn’t have been given. And I’m not sure how much damage it did. So, I’m a little wary about nanobots reorganizing my brain.”

“Understandable…” Fuentes said tensely, “Well… I can assure you at least that I will not administer anything to you that I did not thoroughly discuss with you before. And have your consent on.”

V nodded weakly, shrugged. Words meant nothing, deeds meant everything.

Fuentes eyes wandered back to her tablet, the 3d model, her notes.

“I wish I had something a little more substantial to offer at this point,” she then said, “I think I could already make a clearer assessment once we’ve run some initial tests.”

V let their whole conversation play in his mind again, trying to think if there was anything left he needed clarification on, anything he forgot to mention that would be important.

“You said that Sutter likely still has the nanobots,” he said, “What makes you so sure that he didn’t sell them years ago?”

Fuentes shuffled slightly, as V seemed to have hit the mark once more.

“Alright, there is one thing I wasn’t entirely honest about,” she said, and V steeled himself for whatever was to come.

“Well, now’s the time to spill it,” he said calmly, “Or I’m out the door.”

Fuentes’ eyes told him that she knew he was bluffing, but she also had to know that this would sooner or later backfire if she didn’t tell the whole truth.

“I’ve been keeping tabs on Sutter with the help of private investigators for years,” she explained, “As I said, he’s a slippery one, always extra sure to cover his tracks... But not impossible to find information on. Right before he disappeared off the face of the earth my P.I. at the time captured the video footage I already showed you, but… that’s just part of the clip. It goes on a bit further.”

“Where’s the rest of it?” V asked, but he knew the answer already.

“Not with me, not here, no,” she said, confirming his suspicion, “I can send it your way via some detours, just in case. But basically, he met with a businessman, and from what my P.I. told me and documented, I’m fairly certain he sold him the bots.”

V sighed.

“Then killing him will only be for your revenge purposes after all and not actually help me…”

Fuentes shook her head.

“No, no. He would still have the blueprints, I’m certain. He has to. He has a special memory chip, almost impossible to trace, that he kept all important data on that no one else should get their hands on.”

“In a ‘sell his nanobots but keep them too’ kinda way?” V asked, and Fuentes nodded.

“He prided himself with being so smart and playing everyone all the time. The chip is, according to him, pretty much unhackable, unretrievable. Killing him would instantly delete the chip’s contents, too, so, no point in doing that.”

“How to get your hands on it then?” V asked, “Cut it out of his body while he’s still alive?”

Fuentes said nothing, only looked down to her lap.

“Fantastic…” V sighed.

“I’m sorry,” Fuentes said, “There’s a reason I didn’t want to start off with this.”

“And you’re still not even sure if there is anything useful on the chip, mind you,” V said, trying to remain calm, “And you’ll still have to construct, reprogram, and get the nanobots working if I can get my hands on the blueprints at all. If I even manage to find Sutter. That is a lot of ifs in return for even more uncertainty.”

“Of course,” Fuentes said quietly, “I can promise you that constructing and adjusting the nanobots to work for your particular condition actually is not as complicated as it sounds. I would need a DNA sample from you from prior to the gunshot wound, but I’m relatively certain your profile is stored in your old Trauma Team records from your time at Arasaka.”

“Probably, yeah,” V said.

“There are means and ways, always,” Fuentes nodded.

“What if there are no blueprints, if he sold them together with the bots?”

“I could look into alternatives… constructing new bots from scratch would certainly take longer. A month or two but given your condition we might not have as long.”

“If I could get my hands on the bots from my therapy,” V suggested, “Could that help?”

Fuentes hummed.

“I would certainly like to take a look at them, yes. If only to tell you what exactly they’re doing and if they could be causing your symptoms.”

V shifted to reach into his jacket’s inner pocket, pulling out a ziplock bag with the pills coming from Mr. Blue Eyes. Fuentes’ expression was almost hilariously confused when he dropped the bag on the table.

“Don’t ask,” he said, “My Ripper thinks there’s nanobots embedded in these pills.”

“Not quite how you’d administer them, necessarily…” Fuentes mused as she picked up the bag and held it up against the light, “They’d have to dissolve over time or otherwise leave the body eventually, as you’d keep adding new ones by taking new pills. Not impossible, but the standard procedure is introducing them via the spine and extracting them again once their task is completed.”

“Everything about this whole situation is a special case,” V said, “I would say ‘I’d love to hear anything you figure out’… but actually, I’m not sure if I really do.”

Fuentes nodded sternly and put the pills away safely in the same secret compartment her shard on Sutter was stored in.

“I will have a look at them later,” she promised.

“Alright,” V said, holding on to the armrest with his healthy hand, “Anything else you can tell me that I need to know?”

“There is… one more thing,” Fuentes nodded, “I know where Sutter is.”

She paused, but V didn’t know what to respond.

“But you’ll still have to figure out how to get to him, I’m… drawing a blank on that.”

V squinted.

“You’re making it sound like he’s on the moon.”

Fuentes laughed weakly and tapped something into the search bar on her tablet.

“Almost.” she said. Then a familiar advertisement started playing on the screen.

*****************

>> Next Chapter

*****************

Notes:

This one has been in the works since January, and chapter 14 is almost done actually, as I let this one here sit and stew a bit in between, dreading the editing xD Ngl, when it comes to the medical stuff I always struggle a bit, because I want it to be realistic, but I also have no clue about much xD I hope this isn't all too long-winded and was still an enjoyable read with some twists and turns as V and Dr. Fuentes try to always keep the upper hand against the other, subtly!

I really wanted to develop the doctor a little bit more, give her an interesting background and shady goals and have those all make sense in the grand scheme of things... Maybe you can already guess where her enemy Sutter's exit strategy led him to, where V has to follow soon? 👀

Next chapter out hopefully soon! :D

Requested Fic Update Tags:

@humberg @r3d-f0xs-blog @thatinternetwanderer @localtranspigeon @taiyo-yokai  @kharonion @genocidalfetus @seeker-of-truth @readalotbook @losttr3asur3 @chromeaholic💜

[omgkatherine01]

A New Sun: Chapter 5 - Father's Friend

Series Masterlist

Chapter 4, Chapter 6

Pairing: Lo'ak x female reader

Please comment, like and share

"So, do you really think there are 10-foot-tall, blue-skinned, sapient humanoids that live at that planet?" Daniel asked a few days before they were leaving Earth with their Moms. He was lying on Isabella's bed while the girl was sitting behind her desk, looking at her laptop.

"I don't know," Isabella said with a shrug, "It's what our Moms say. And your Mom was there years ago."

"Pandora," Daniel scoffed, "Sounds like--"

"Like the one from the Greek mythology," Isabella muttered with a sigh, "Yes."

Daniel raised an eyebrow, "Well, I was going to say weird name for a weird planet."

Isabella rolled her eyes and turned back to her laptop, "Whatever," she muttered, "I think that the planet sounds intriguing."

"Almost everything is intriguing for you," Daniel said as he watched her with a small found smile, "You're a nerd."

Isabella paused at her typing but then continued, pretending it didn't bother her that he was thinking that about her. "Thanks, I prefer that than been a moron."

"Are you calling me a moron?"

"Yes," Isabella answered.

"Ouch," Daniel said with a small smirk. "So!" He sat up completely. "Since we are now leaving Earth in three days, did you set your 'affairs' in order?"

"I did," Isabella said and turned to raise an eyebrow, "It's not like I'm close to anyone at school or anything."

"You close to me," Daniel pointed out.

"You coming with me," Isabella pointed out as she turned back around, "I'm sure I would have been fine if you would have stayed here, or if I would." She looked at the framed picture of her father. "I'm surprised my mother didn't want to leave me behind, I thought she forgot she has a daughter."

"Your mother loves you," Daniel said, "So, cut the shity attitude. Let's have some fun in that planet." Isabella resisted a sigh and shook her head lightly.

Isabella opened her eyes and frowned a little before she remembered where she was. She slowly sat up when she heard a knock on the door. She looked over to see the human boy, Spider opening the glass door.

He gave her a small smile as she leaned her back on the pillow, "Hey." She noticed he was holding her sketch book. He walked in and held it forward, "Uh, Lo'ak asked me to bring it to you. Said it was yours."

Isabella took it and looked at it, "Thanks," she muttered.

"How you feeling?" he asked.

"I've been better," she muttered, looking back at her sketch book. She glanced at him to see he was looking over his shoulder. "What?"

Spider looked at her and cleared his throat, "Jake wants to speak to you."

Isabella looked back at her sketch book before she took a deep breath. "Fine. Where is he?" she asked.

Spider was a little surprised but quickly covered it up, "Uh, he's here, talking to Norm." Isabella pulled the blanket away and slowly got up. Spider moved to grab her arm, "Wow, wow, easy."

"I'm good," she said quietly, "I'm good."

Spider helped her out of the room and to the main room where they saw Jake, Norm, Lo'ak and Neteyam speaking.

"Anything?" Jake asked Norm.

"No, it shows she's normal as she can be," Norm said, "Look, all she said was that that a doctor injected something into her, and maybe this was what helped her breath the air outside."

"Can she still breath the air?" Neteyam asked.

"I don't know," Norm answered. "I let her rest until she will recover fully."

"How long has it been?" Isabella asked, making the males look at her and Spider. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

"Uh, it's been two days now," Norm answered.

Isabella nodded numbly, "Guess it's out of the system by now. And, the next time you want my blood, how about ask me first? Since, you know, it's my blood."

"Right, sorry," Norm apologized.

Lo'ak opened his mouth but his father spoke first, "How are you feeling now?"

"I'm fine," Isabella said, "Now that I'm pretty sure I won't be able to breath without an oxygen mask, what is going to happen to me?"

"Nothing's going to happen to you, you're safe," Jake said, "Things turned bad before, and I am sorry."

"Good, then we need to talk," Isabella said, "Privately will be great."

Jake raised an eyebrow but agreed. They both walked to Isabella's guest room and the girl turned to look up at him. "My mother won't take our people and leave, you and I both know that," Isabella said, "The only way is for both sides will call a truce, I can talk to my Mom about this."

Jake shook his head, "I'm afraid that won't work."

"You guys live with a few sky people," Isabella pointed out.

"Those people are good friends that I know," Jake said, "They've been allies of the Na'vies since the first war years ago."

"So what now?" Isabella asked, "Continue on fighting in a war that can go on for years?"

"No," Jake said and kneeled down to look at her better. "Look, Isabella, years ago, when I was an avatar and fell in love with my mate, Neytiri, I tried to stop this war. I wanted to find a way to be with her, and save both sides. I lost a really good friend of mine, that's when it all truly started. I wish it didn't have to be this way now, and I do respect your thought to end this second war without anymore bloodshed, but it won't work."

"My Dad would have thought differently," Isabella muttered. She looked at Jake, "I want to see his friend. My father told me he was one of his best friend and he stayed here."

Jake frowned a little, surprised, "He's here?"

"It's what my Dad said," Isabella said, "I remember he said his friend's name was Jake Sully."

Jake looked at her now surprised. Her father's friend? He didn't had a friend with the last name Ardmore. Unless-- "What was your father's last name?"

Isabella blinked her tears away from mentioning her father, and cleared her throat before speaking, "Keller." Jake's eyes grew wide at that. "Tr--"

"Travis Keller," Jake finished softly. Isabella stared at him. Jake breathed out before asking softly as he placed his large hands on her arms, "You're Trav's daughter?"

Isabella opened her mouth a little and blinked back her tears before nodding quickly. Jake looked at her in a different light now; she was not just a kid, that was the daughter of his friend from his life back at Earth.

"That makes you--" Isabella started softly.

"My name is Jake Sully," Jake confirmed and nodded a little.

Isabella nodded a little and finally let a tear slip, "Then since my father thought of you as someone like a family, and as a friend, you should know he died six years ago."

Jake let out a breath and darted his eyes down before closing them. His eyebrows frowned in sadness and he opened his eyes to look at her. "I'm sorry," he said softly.

Isabella gave a small nod but didn't say anything as she looked down.

I should have asked him to come, Jake thought, maybe if he and Isabella's mother would have come along, things would have been different.

Jake stood up, "Come with me," he said. Isabella looked at him before turning to the bed. She moved and grabbed her sketch book before letting Jake lead her out of the room.

Taglist:

@dioriez, @crookednighttragedy, @satsuri3su, @novalies, @ernernn, @lwesodra, @mara-brekker, @id-rather-be-in-middle-earth, @hellowibu, @mrsbrxkkxr, @emvebee, @esposadomd, @ihave500hubbiez, @whos3rn, @ivexoxojangku, @gosusu123, @honeym0chi, @ellielovesrobinarellano, @harharharrysblog, @jaythequeerdisaster, @anlqq, @soobinsrose, @kirikuki, @simp-erformarvelwomen, @jasontoddorjasongrace, @lainyelain, @dumb-fawkin-bitch, @bxnnywriting, @avadakadabra93, @lhir02, @alwaysdaydreamingoffiction, @mandumpiings

[animeyanderelover]

Um hi i don't know if im late or not but i wan t to send in a request: i would like some haikyuu hc with reader who is kinda like isabela from encanto, yknow like being flawlessly perfect and having powers where she could grow flowers and then all sorts of other plants, but like them figuring out she has powers? I hope that made sense. I don't know if i can still send 10, but you changed the rules so im guessing yeah. So for this could you do yamaguchi, hinata, kageyama, sugawara, kenma, akaashi, oikawa, kita, suna, and goshiki, thank you

I will shock some people with this statement but I didn't watch Encanto so my description is probably a bit off. Since Corona I didn't really bother with cinemas, I've only recently watched Puss in Boots because two of my friends wanted to go with me. It was fantastic though.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, stalking, clinginess, jealousy, insecurity, touchiness, manipulation

S/o is like Isabella from Encanto

Kōshi Sugawara

🤍Sugawara himself tries to step his own game up when he falls for his darling. He knows that he has weaknesses and imperfections and is not delusional enough to believe that he will ever be the best in anything but even he feels initially a slight pressure when in your presence. From looks to grades, you do everything with such graceful ease that it’s not surprising that you’re that popular as you are. This slight pressure soon fades though as he gets to know you better and grows more comfortable. From there on he starts to get more worried though as he realizes that you yourself might feel quite pressured to always be perfect to not ruin your image. He frequently reminds you that it’s fine to not be perfect, especially around him and that you should feel more comfortable around him. At times he even ushers you to sit down, relax and let him do the task. It might not turn out as great as if you’d do it yourself but his angel deserves some rest too.

🤍Suga wants his darling to be honest with him and maybe it’s also because of his rather twisted wish to be someone you can fully tell everything. He also knows that he shouldn’t push you though to make you uncomfortable and possibly lead you to avoiding him. He happens to find out during a time where he decides to visit you to ask how you’re doing that he catches you making flowers bloom around you. You’re in shock and panic at the beginning before Sugawara snaps out of his awe and rushes to you to calm you down. He apologizes for just popping up without an announcement and even if he has questions, he promises you that he can wait. You don’t take long to tell him the truth though since you’ve been debating on whether to tell him or not anyways, something that fills Suga’s chest with pride when hearing that you trust him that much. He gets more protective since he wants to keep your secret, tries to talk you into not telling any more people. The less know, the lower the risk.

Tobio Kageyama

🌧️Kageyama is, despite the initial rather intimidating impression, deep down somewhat insecure himself. He probably doesn’t mind too often though since his passion lies in volleyball so grades that tend to be lower aren’t his biggest issue, unless it interferes with his play that is. When he goes down the rabbit hole of obsession because of you though, everything changes. Suddenly he’s hit with a truck of self-doubt and you being as flawlessly graceful as you are does not help. He wishes so desperately to talk to you but can’t even form a coherent sentence when you look at him which only humiliates and embarrasses him further. You notice how he’s often standing in the near distance, glancing constantly at you. He falters every time you approach him and talk to him, his heart beating in his chest. That shyness contrasts greatly with his aggressive and hostile attitude whenever someone spites you out of jealousy or wants to ask you out.

🌧️Just when he finally gains the courage to talk to you and fumbled around with ideas to ask you for a date, even if he has no idea how to give someone as perfect as you the perfect date, something unexpected happens. Kageyama is still stalking you for a large part, partly concerned and partly paranoid that persistent admirers will come after you. That’s how he witnesses the sight of you creating flowers and it’s only when you turn around that you notice him silently watching you with wide eyes. He’s frantically apologizing to you when you see him, terrified that you’ll despite him now that he knows your secret. You deal with it surprisingly calm though although you make him promise to never tell anyone. Tobio can’t deny that you two grow closer though because he has that knowledge and it makes him far more possessive, determined to not let anyone else find out so he can be the only one that close to you.

Shōyō Hinata

☀️Hinata is easily a blushing mess around his darling but that never stops him from approaching her and talking to her. He’s rather sociable and also very energetic and his childish energy is honestly refreshing for you. He’s surely embarrassed when he fails to do what you finish with ease but is determined to learn as long as you teach him and doesn’t wallow too much in his failure, if you cheer him up that is which you luckily do. It’s obvious he adores you but not with the same reverence you’re usually seen with, he treats you more like you two are still equals and doesn’t worry his head too much over things. He compliments you with an excited and awed look on your face when he sees you doing something cool, pesters you to teach him too and also makes an effort to recall the smaller things on you. Because of all the attention he’s often a sulking mess though, unhappy with the lack of attention.

☀️Shōyō is terribly clingy and when you aren’t with him, he’s often chatting and texting you. On this particular day you don’t answer nor read his messages though which is why he decides spontaneously to drop by at your house. He didn’t envision to see you creating plants and flowers though, watches in awe and admiration until you notice. When your eyes meet, he storms to you with stars shining in his eyes as he rambles about how he didn’t know you could do that and that this was so cool and beautiful. He even asks you if you can teach him how to make flowers and plants bloom. It’s like he forgot that a normal human can’t do that, or he just doesn’t care in that moment. It’s hard to be angry with him when he’s that enthusiastic so you scold him only mildly although you clarify to him that no one should know about your powers. Hinata makes an oath to you, swears that he’ll never tell a soul about it. And despite being very talkative, he keeps that promise.

Tadashi Yamaguchi

💕Tadashi is going to avoid his darling for a whole good while because he is such an insecure guy. Tsukishima makes fun of him, tells him to just gather the courage to just say a simple "Hello" to you yet not even that is something that Tadashi can do. He just can't stop comparing himself with you and in all areas you're far more superior and better than he could ever hope to be. Surely someone as gorgeous and perfect as you wouldn't want to interact with someone as under average as he is. He's terrified to not be seen as enough, especially since he believes that someone as you only deserves the best and he definitely doesn't view himself like that. The first time you actually noticed him and chatted a bit with him, he had even troubles looking you directly into your eyes, far too flustered and also slightly scared. He felt like ascending to heaven afterwards though, especially once you graced him with that sweet smile of yours due to his somewhat adorable behavior.

💕It's all a pure accident, he just happens to see you passing by in the distance and follows you out of curiosity he can't suppress since this isn't your usual route. Once he sees you growing flowers, his mind goes blank with shock and awe before he quietly leaves, still too shocked to fully comprehend. At night he lays awake in his bed and arrives at the conclusion that you're probably a god of sorts which only hits him harder with insecurity. Why should you even bother with a human like him then? Out of guilt for spying, Yamaguchi confesses to you within the next days that he's witnessed your powers, glancing at you surprised when you start laughing when he accidentally refers to you as a god. You tell him the truth afterwards, admit that you'd wish that he wouldn't see you as a god of any sort. You hang out with him more now that he knows your secret anyways, feel relieved that Yamaguchi proves himself to be trustworthy. He's on a shy and insecure spectrum so you can't help but look out for him a bit more, something that Yamaguchi finds himself secretly enjoying.

Tōru Oikawa

👑Now here is a guy who tends to be arrogant himself and very possssive and loud when it comes to making it a point to show that he's the best for you. Honestly speaking, in Oikawa's eyes his darling and him should already be a couple since he is convinced that both of them are just perfect for each other. To show his darling that he's right, he constantly hangs around her and impresses her at any chance he gets. He's acting like a peacock who is flexing his feathers in front of you so you always pay attention to him because, guess what, he hates it when you turn your attention to someone else. There's no better way to describe him than with the term jerk when we're talking about how he makes fun and bullies everyone who thinks they have a chance with you, not afraid to start gossip or count down every embarrassing thing that ever happened to them. Occasionally Tōru suffers from insecurities too, times where he grows more clingy and slightly unhinged for approval from your side.

👑You find it already weird when he doesn't accompany you on your way out of school although you do guess that the lost match probably has just gotten to him. All the more reason that you feel a wave of dread washing over you when you see him stepping out from behind the corner where he was hiding whilst you were carelessly using your power a bit because you thought no one was watching you. You don't like the weird look in his eyes as his eyes go back and forth between you and the flowers on the ground. He asks you if anyone else knows and you can only shake your head. Your little hell starts from there since Oikawa is not shy to manipulate you with this newfound knowledge, his frustration and possessive side getting in that moment the better of him. He sets up the condition that he won't tell anyone if you start dating him, doesn't leave you with much of a choice in that moment. As soon as he has recovered though, he's gushing and complimenting you affectionately for your gorgeous ability instead of only using it as a way to blackmail you.

Keiji Akaashi

🍁You like Akaashi a lot and that all boils down to the fact that he doesn't treat you like you're some sort of celebrity that one always has to talk about. Most people only compliment you and adore you for your perfection but you genuinely feel like Akaashi is interested in the person that is hiding behind the talent and the perfection. He talks with you like a normal human being and his conversations are never always around the topics of you being so amazing and cool. Sure, he compliments you and lets you know that he respects you but knows that there are other interesting things to talk about besides you. You even feel quite flattered when he admits after a while where you two have grown closer that he's sometimes worried that you might be a bit tired from always having to be perfect. You reassure him that it's alright but he reminds you that he'll listen if you ever feel the need to talk about something. You consider a few times telling him your secrets.

🍁Because Akaashi is so incredibly subtle with his slightly manipulative and protective behavior, you end up trusting him more blindly than you should which is why you at one point openly admit to him that you have special powers. He doesn't fully believe you until you truly show him, causing his stoic expression to crack with a surprised look on his face. He didn't think that your biggest secret would be the reveal that you can grow plants but he instantly understands why you're so adament to keep this a secret and he reassures you that he will never tell a single soul. Akaashi grows to overthink more though as he realizes soon that your secret truly is a little burden to carry, one he now feels too. He grows a hint more protective, always turns around to make sure that no one is following you two when you go home and scolds people with a hint more sarcasm when he catches someone actually following you which leads to him accompanying you more.

Kenma Kozume

🐱Kenma will without a doubt also be a guy that will try to avoid his darling at first. He's more on a introverted side as it is and so the people who constantly surround his darling intimidate him. Not even to mention that he sort of thinks about his own talents when he is constantly hears from others and sees for himself that you can seemingly do everything without even practicing it much. This self-conscious thoughts really hold him back so the only thing he really does at first is stalking you in school and stalking your social media accounts. Kuroo realizes what is going on in his silent friend who seems to be brooding a lot in thoughts since a while now. Kuroo doesn't have as much doubtful thoughts as Kenma and is immediately up to approach you and help his shy friend. If Kenma isn't comfortable talking to you in public, Kuroo will just make sure you two bump into each other when there are no people fawning over you and admiring you.

🐱Because Kuroo arranged certain things and encouraged Kenma to go to that place on this special day is why Kenma witnessed how flowers bloomed with every step you take in the first place. One quick snap of his phone to have a photo is all he does before leaving before you can notice him. He's taken back by what he has seen and spends the rest of the day just sort of contemplating how he should deal with what he has just seen. It's only a few days later that he messages you, thanks to Kuroo giving him your number, and asks if you two can meet because he has something important to ask you. You expected a confession of love because you're aware of his crush but nearly choke on the air when he shows you the photo. His gaze directly into your own eyes is fleeting as he is as flustered as he is sort of ashamed. He promises that he won't tell anyone and delete the picture but only if you tell him the truth. He's sly enough to know that you're bound to spend more time with him now that he knows about your secret.

Tsutomu Goshiki

🌟Tsutomu is possibly your biggest fanboy and cheerleader in the whole city. He's always admired you for your seemingless neverending talents and is always one of the first ones to shower you with compliments and confessions of his great admiration. Similar to Hinata he doesn't let himself get discouraged by your perfection which he doesn't have. Short phases of discourage when he fails in something spectacularly which you did with elegant grace before he gets all fired up and tries again, something you can't help but admire him for. All trouble is in the end worth it for him when you praise him for having gotten better in which case he walks around for the rest of the day with a puffed-out chest, filled with pride. Goshiki gets squirmish when you do the same to someone else though and doesn't allow himself to stop until he's gotten your praise once again, most likely for the same reason why you gave the other person a compliment.

🌟He's pretty much known as your puppy by now since he always follows you around when he has the chance to do so and on this day this isn't anything different. Only that he witnesses something you actually didn't want anyone to witness and it's specifically because he can't hold back the gasp of awe and shock when he sees your ability that you see him. He tenses up and his whole face turns red as he realizes that he has just blown his cover, stutters out some apologies and that he didn't mean to spy on you. You just stare at him in shock, trying to come up with the fastest solution on how to fix this problem. Your secret is blown either way, he's seen it already so you have little to no choice left to eventually admit that you have some special abilities. This causes Goshiki's admiration to grow even more for you. He obviously knows that he can't mention this to anyone else but when you two are alone, he's asking you with shining eyes if you could show your powers to him one more time.

Kita Shinsuke

☁️Shinsuke is also someone who worries about the potential stress and pressure you carry around with you to fulfill everyone's expectations. That's why he's always willing to help in any way you can since people tend to give you too much credit and leave you with a lot of things to do, thinking that you're one who can do everything with walking ease. He is slightly disappointed whenever he sees someone doing exactly that and even if you insist with this flawless smile of yours that you're glad to do whatever you can, he always insists that he helps you. Kita isn't shy to call such people out too for what they're obviously thinking, scolds them which causes most to feel a bit ashamed of themselves. It's the same for your rather persistent and somewhat obsessive stalkers who invade your private bubble in which case he gets even stricter with rather blunt words and a pointed and cold stare. He's one of the few who see you as more than a golden woman so you appreciate his presence in your life.

☁️It's likely that you think about admitting to Kita that you're not a really normal human. Kita himself seems to realize that you're debating something regarding him and does his best to give you the time you need to make a decision, somewhat confident that he doesn't have to worry that it will be something bad. One day you call him over to your house and he tries his best to hide his slight curiosity. You seem more on edge than normally when you tell him that you have a secret you want to entrust him with and he's quick to calm you down with soothing words. You see a glint of surprise when he sees your abilities, he's stunned for a while before he regains his composure and gives you a small smile. Shinsuke doesn't treat you like a deity afterwards which makes you feel relieved that your secret didn't change the relationship between you two. You don't have any doubts that he might spoil your secret. Considering that he is later on a farmer, he would learn to appreciate your gift even more although he insists that you don't have to feel like you have to use your abilites for him.

Suna Rintarō

🦊You have troubles reading Suna due to his stoic and somewhat uninterested expression he keeps all of the time. He himself doesn't even realize at first that he's possibly a bit obsessed with you although he always catches his eyes following you when you enter his field of vision. He's big in snapping pictures of you all of the time since he can't help himself most of the time. At the same time he calls out others for doing the same thing he's doing when he catches them doing it. Considering that you're often the center of attention, Suna has to step up his own stalking since you often have a group of people following you around. It only serves to make him an even better stalker though in the end. Checks your social media accounts daily. That is the most Suna does though because he is clueless how to approach you. He doesn't know how to express his own emotions but at the very least he has no other doubts that other people tend to have because of your shining perfection. He's curious though to know how you feel about him.

🦊You're in shock to discover that Suna can be terribly manipulative when he finds out your biggest secret. You yourself don't even know that he saw you until you receive a video from him which shows you using your abilities to make flowers bloom. You feel your blood growing temporarily cold, try your best to keep up your smile for the rest of the day to let no one know. The next time you see him, you approach him and ask him with the prettiest smile you can muster if you two can meet alone later that day. He already knows what you want and just agress with a nod of his head. Later that day he comes to your house where you confront him about the stunt he pulls, demand him to delete that video. Suna stares at you for a good while, you see it in his eyes that he thinks about something. In the end he tells you that he'll do it under two conditions. The first is that you tell him the truth and the second one is that he wants you to spend more time with him.

[drchenquill]

Find The Word Tag~

Thank you @the-golden-comet, @willtheweaver and @the-inkwell-variable for the tag!

My words: bet, set, forget, regret, Cloak, hide, shade, shadow, noise, energy, need and time

l'm currently translating it, so I'll look through my story "The Monterosa Mansion"!

Bet

I was back among the chosen ones and I bet everything I had that Sandra was behind it. Because fate likes to lose bets, I stood next to Sandra's chair. She drank from me more often. It still hurt, but like any recurring pain, I had gotten used to it.

Set

The nails of her thumbs grew longer and dug into my cheeks. Blood dripped and slowly ran down my skin. She let go of my face, moving closer until her tongue licked the blood from my cheek. My stomach turned, my hair stood on end, but I didn't even flinch. “Sei veramente buono, piccolo umano,” she said. She stood up, pulled me to my feet and set off.

Forget

I rubbed my stomach, laughing. I had actually forgotten. So much else had happened in the meantime that such a small argument was unimportant to me.

Regret

I was testing something out, something I could have regretted, but curiosity got the better of me. I smiled at him. It was a small, shy smile, but I did it.

Cloak

Hide

“You know the rules. You can hide, you can run, but if one of you dares to play smart and try to escape, I'll tear him to pieces.”

Shade

Shadow

I saw many portraits of Rossella and Enzo together. Most of the time she was sitting elegantly in an armchair with Enzo behind her. She wore a wide dark dress in every single portrait that made her look like a queen.  There were a few of Luigi. But there was not a shadow of a smile in any of them.

Noise

They split us up, each having to scrub a different part of the house. Sometimes they came to check that we were doing it properly. I had to scrub the hallway. I also had to dust every portrait. But I was left alone, so no noises to disturb my throbbing head.

Energy

Did I have to watch what I said now? I had broken the rules yesterday. I was out of the cellar without permission, it didn't matter that I did it to help one of the family. Rules were rules. But when I saw his mischievous grin, those thoughts flew right out the window. He looked much healthier. His eyes sparkled, his hair had its shine back and he seemed full of energy.

Need

"Has he never wanted to drink from you before?" I asked shyly. She bubbled with pride as she said: "Never. I offered once, but he refused." Then she nudged me and said, "Do you know why?" I shook my head. She giggled as her cheeks turned rosy. "Because he loves me as much as I love him. That's why I'm not worried, because I know I'm safe with him. Just because he's a vampire doesn't mean he's an animal." Her tone was slightly accusing. "Doesn't he need blood to survive?" I asked, confused.

Time

We worked all day long, no breaks, no rest. No one said why, no one gave us a hint of an explanation as to what was going on, we just had to slave away. Despite the full kitchen, I was alone all day. I couldn't talk to Robert or see Lily. Isabella was most likely busy with Luigi, and Valerio certainly wouldn't show up in the kitchen. For the first time in my eighteen years, I felt lonely and I didn't like that feeling at all.

~~~~

Tagging with no pressure @paeliae-occasionally , @leahnardo-da-veggie @frostedlemonwriter , @finickyfelix , @inseasofgreen ,

@gabeorelse and open tag~

Your words are: Fast, room, clean, meet

[bethanydelleman]

Why You Should Read Emma (Again)

This promotion contains spoilers

Emma: Always Worth a Second Read

Like any good mystery novel, Emma must be read twice (or more!) to be fully appreciated. Cringe as you realize how Mr. Elton’s attempts at gallantry can easily be interpreted in two ways, laugh as Frank Churchill is making obvious blunders again and again without anyone suspecting him, and join Jane in glaring at Frank as he brags about the pianoforte being an awesome gift (It was from him all along! cried Scooby Doo).

Watch and laugh as Emma justifies everything to herself in absurd ways, proving Jane Austen’s probable thesis in this novel, “Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.” And very seldom is the truth told to you, reader, as almost everything is cleverly filtered through Emma’s interpretations.

Find yourself sympathizing with a girl whose entire life has happened within a 5 mile radius of her home and has been completely devoted to someone whose eccentricities are imprisoning. Really Mr. Woodhouse, does your twenty-one year old daughter need to go to bed at 8pm? Sure, she is a meddling snob, but Emma has some first rate qualities (charitable towards the poor, peacemaker at home, excellent hostess, tries to do better) that make her, “This sweetest and best of all creatures, faultless in spite of all her faults.”

Harriet Smith is the perfect embodiment of a boy-crazy teenager. She loves Robert Martin, Mr. Elton, Mr. Knightley, and then Robert Martin again in the course of a year. She keeps an unused Band-Aid as a “special treasure” because a guy she likes touched it and then THROWS IT DRAMATICALLY INTO THE FIRE to cleanse herself of the attachment. Oh Harriet honey, we’ve all known you.

Mr. Knightley is the true hero of Highbury, a devoted landlord who makes sure everyone in town is provided for and reasonably happy. He values his employees, he’s generally civil, and he’ll supply apples for your picky niece.

An exemplary cast of side characters, overly-talkative Miss Bates, unrepentant gossip Mr. Weston, bragging upstart Mrs. Elton, pompous and petty Mr. Elton, and one of the cutest couples in Jane Austen, John and Isabella Knightley, who don’t like to spend even a week apart.

Emma: So Much More to Discover 

(and I didn’t even mention the passage that said buffets are a human rights violation )

[fullscoreshenanigans]

Hi! First of all I appreciate everything TPN related you do lol, so glad to see that there is a community even though I myself joined the fandom late.

I love Ray’s character arc and basically everything he does. How the trio complement each other and make up for each other's weaknesses. How Ray learns to hope again and what not…but, I have been having difficulty pin pointing the exact moment Ray went from-I’ll only save Emma and Norman to I’ll save my entire family.

Was It a secret thing all along? Because something tells me that Ray always planned to kill himself and die in the manner he preferred rather than what was planned for him. (Not only to resolve his guilt, but also to give a final screw u to both Isabella and the demons. That this plan of his would have been enacted even if Norman was never shipped.

On that note…. Did Norman really agree with Ray’s insistence of leaving everyone behind? Or did he just say ok to acquiesce and reassure Ray (whom Norman might have realised had been spiralling for a long time)? Had Norman not been shipped would he have spent the two months trying to chip away at Ray’s walls/ give him hopes in bits and pieces and convince him? I don't believe that Norman agreed with Emma’s choices just because he liked her (even in ss1)

Thoughts?

Heyyoo late fandom joiners/Ray enthusiasts 😎🤝😎 and thank you! 💝 TPN tumblr has a cozy feel to it and for the most part is pretty chill.

Ray's journey from "I'll endure all the heartache of this hell if it means I can save my two best friends" to "If nothing else, I have to at least save Emma" to being able to do what his mother couldn't and love his family normally is so profoundly endearing and a significant part of what makes the escape arc so beloved, and I'm glad this post where I delve into it a bit more ended up being among my more popular ones:

One could argue Ray hallucinating Norman up on the wall was to assuage his own guilt at being unable to save him as he originally planned (something that, on his darker days, I think Ray himself would believe), but I prefer to view it as the final marker of his truly internalizing one of the deepest desires in his heart that he had locked away for so long. After living under that oppressive reality of dehumanization and exploitation and believing that there was nothing else for him, that this was all there was, that things would never get better and after everything he did up to that point, he didn’t deserve better, on top of Isabella throwing him completely off balance by shipping Norman out early and just being this incredibly conflicting and painful presence in his life, to have his siblings come together for this escape plan and without putting it explicitly in words convey “you’re worth saving, Ray, and we love you,” and that they gave him hope back…it fucks me up something fierce.

Was It a secret thing all along? Because something tells me that Ray always planned to kill himself and die in the manner he preferred rather than what was planned for him. (Not only to resolve his guilt, but also to give a final screw u to both Isabella and the demons. That this plan of his would have been enacted even if Norman was never shipped.

Shirai confirmed it took Ray about a year between making the deal with Isabella to conceiving of self-immolation being the linchpin for keeping her attention on him instead of a hypothetical Emma and Norman escaping:

(Mystic Code Book Chapter 1 Q&A)

Though we don't exactly when he was old enough and graduated to helping out in the kitchen to be able to start hoarding the lighter fluid under his bed, I think it's safe to say he'd been at it for a few years, in the same vein as acquiring the parts for the deactivator.

And yes, there is so much emotion steeped into his final speech to Emma as he's fully succumbed to the belief he deserves to die in the most excruciating manner possible (adore the nuance the anime adds to this scene [from this post]:)

(The little slump of his shoulders when he starts that second line, too. Granted, it takes a lot to undo years of such belief and self-loathing, but the resignation in his voice and body language is crushing.)

And then plagiarizing myself yet again from this post:

Ray’s retaliatory act of spite was threefold in its pettiness: 1. to Emma he verbally confirms he intends to deprive the demons of the feast they waited twelve years for 2. to Isabella the caretaker who sacrificed her charges so that she could live, he silently denies the means of prolonging her pitiful life 3. to Isabella his mother he proves that he’s better than her, that he isn’t afraid to die because dying as a human is better than whatever pathetic existence she had carved out for herself, ideally forcing her to look at him one last time with the same look of terror she had on her face the day she realized their biological connection These are what I think he’d focus on in his moments of anger over the years, though he’d still primarily be guided by a selfless love for Emma and Norman. It’s a misplaced, manic bravado he’d whipped himself into that night, thinking his death would be “the best way” to both ensure the survival of his last most precious person in the world and atone for all the siblings he did nothing to save, but this is the headspace he’s in after a lifetime under such an oppressive existence.

Did Norman really agree with Ray’s insistence of leaving everyone behind? Or did he just say ok to acquiesce and reassure Ray (whom Norman might have realised had been spiraling for a long time)? Had Norman not been shipped would he have spent the two months trying to chip away at Ray’s walls/ give him hopes in bits and pieces and convince him? I don't believe that Norman agreed with Emma’s choices just because he liked her (even in ss1)

If everything had gone as originally planned, they would have left on November 8, 2045.

(Chapter 11 | S1 Episode 4; this is also super funny when you think of how part of the reason Norman is saying this is to get back at Ray for throwing him off balance with his betrayal by knocking him off balance. "Yeah‚ thought you wouldn't like that. Bitch." kdjfksdjh <3)

But regardless, Norman agreed with Ray from a pragmatic stance, in the sense he saw Ray's plan of just having the three of them, Don, and Gilda escaping as being more likely to succeed, but he actively chose to follow Emma's plan and strive for the ideal outcome. It's what underpins the whole "build a boat out of mud" speech.

From here:

But like episode 1 foreshadows with him silently chiding himself for only initially considering the possibility of him, her, and Ray escaping

that adorable pause of awe and wonderment hearkens back to this panel that is so very integral to his being:

(Chapter 14) Even with each new development, she still remains true to her ideals, operating with kindness and understanding until proven without a shred of doubt that doing so is futile because that’s the world she wants to live in (e.g., speaking with Leuvis about avoiding a confrontation, but shifting gears as soon as he confirms his priority is amusement and conflict because it would jeopardize the lives of all the children at Goldy Pond to pursue it further). There's a deep admiration that's been present for years, and now that their reality has been permanently shifted, it's even stronger as the one constant he's never doubted.

However, he was deeply, deeply hurt at Ray's perceived betrayal, and for those last two weeks of October 2045, he was genuinely willing to toss Ray aside before deducing Ray's true motivations, at which point he's firmly slotted back into the "dear friend who must be saved at all costs" category of Norman's mind (I delve into this more here and here).

This post is already really link heavy, but if you're interested, I have an assorted list of tags I use on this blog, and I use FSS Chatter for my non-jokey original posts and responses, including:

• Ah yes, one of my favorite genres of baby full score trio pictures: Isabella being openly affectionate toward Emma and Norman in front of Ray while being hands off with him • The little bow of reflection and smile Ray makes as he briefly soaks in the last morning Emma and Norman will be able to carry out their routine as usual • "I think I could survive truly horrific circumstances if I had a crush on someone there" • "If Ray and Norman couldn't kill Isabella because the alarm would go off when her heart stopped, why didn't they incapacitate her in another way?" • Why I love the way the anime adapted the exchange between the full score trio in chapter 27 and chapter 28 • The follow-up post to ^ • Forever obsessed with and contemplating what’s going through Isabella and Ray's heads during this scene in S1e07 • "If I were greedy…" (Musings on Ray's line to Isabella in S1 episode 7) • The inclusion of these two frames of the anime is everything to me actually • My thoughts on Ray having purple eyes and how that would affect his relationship with his family • What did Ray write in the note he uses as bait for Krone? • What would an Isabella and Ray reconciliation look like • Some more angsting over Isabella and Ray's relationship • When you think about how these panels in chapter 159 are of Emma contemplating what makes a person themselves and whether losing one's memories constitutes death… • My guess about what Norman says to Ayshe in chapter 160 • TPN 181 - WSJ Release vs Volume Release Differences • I kind of wish the boxart for S2 was as detailed as S1's…but I do really love how angelic they look here

I also have some small guides regarding the light novels if you haven't already read them (here and here), and a tag specifically for Isabella and Ray's fraught and complicated relationship if you enjoy angsting over that.

Also also if you haven't seen it I highly recommend checking out the English TPN masterlist complied by @1000sunnygo it's an invaluable resource I use all the time for references.