#everything can be han brothers OR ysa to kdj. in this essa-

[hehearse]

i keep trying to like. hold myself back from sending too many asks but im listening to my orv playlist again and every single song starts playing and i immediately fall ill. anyways!!

idk if u mind or not but ORV Spoilers for anyone reading this 👍

eighteen is Francis Forever by Mitski. hsy and yjh about kdj. specifically when theyre both trying to cope with him being gone post scenarios.

"i dont know what to do without you, i dont know where to put my hands. ive been trying to lay my head down, but im writing this at 3am" is so hsy.

"on sunny days i go out walking, i end up on a tree-lined street. i look up at the gaps of sunlight, i miss you more than anything" is yjh. i always think about how he takes to running post scenarios.

"i dont think i could stand to be where you dont see me" feels so much like how as a constellation kdj could join the channel and watch them even when he wasnt in the scenarios.

nineteen is Welly Boots by The Amazing Devil. kdj and his kids. sys and lgy and even ljh. i feel like the anger about it fits with jihye more than yoosung and gilyoung, despite her not being like. His Child. in the same way the other two are.

twenty! Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos!! yjh, hsy, kdj. a soldier, a poet, and a king. thats just what they are.

twenty-one. Boats & Birds by Gregory and the Hawk!! kimcom in general abt kdj. the whole stardust part is upsettingly accurate to how he fucking scattered himself over the entire universe.

so many evil songs get added to my playlist. i don't think i got that many new songs in the last 4 years that i got in the last. whatever number of days it was. the playlist is so fresh and unfamiliar now...

Francis Forever by Mitski

a murder from the start huh. but also the lines "i don't think i could stand to be where you don't see me". rotating in my brain. something something about kdj on the train but not watching him despite being able too. scared to see them smiling in front of a sunset along with him - without him. something about them visiting him in the hospital, unchanging, unconcious, so close yet unseeing, scattered far away... head in hands

Welly Boots by The Amazing Devil

WOHOO back to the songs i know B)

specifically lee jihye grabbing his collar, screaming about them betraying and letting die the constellations that were on their side. and the song as a whole. very much kids and kdj. loving but distant and speaking different language. realisation of love hitting with a delay.

(but as the devil on your shoulder, let me whisper sweet nothings into your ear. in an evil, fucked up way it could be 17yo yoohyun about yoojin. still holding trust and belief that they are not that far apart even if he leaves)

do you see my vision?? do you???? (<- possessed by the sctir demons)

i feel like the Soldier, Poet, King by The Oh Hellos i got shown along with several DIFFERENT animatics even during my voluntarily confinment in the non-spoiler bubble FSDECDE so there is nothing more to say about it....

Boats & Birds by Gregory and the Hawk

this is so evil of you. so cruel to miette. "I live to make you free"??? head in hands. yeah. the gentle melancholy etc etc... i would even. more spicifically point at ysa. because she knew all along.... and she let him go (even if she didn't want to, even if she didn't want to so bad...... i wonder if that's what being in his head for so long did to her. or strengthened her resolve in that regard.)