#everyone was so lovely and delighted to see him

[viaviavie]

in which sebek steals a dance with you during the glorious masquerade event. you both make an entire spectacle on the dance floor. (alternatively, sebek is flirting with you and is trying to be super nonchalant about it by saying it's for the sake of Malleus' honor). sebek zigvolt x reader note: i was watching this and imagined every single twst guy doing this in glorious masquarade. but i love sebek smsmsm so its sebek today. also, did you know that crocodiles do courtship dances during mating season?

Masquerade balls were not the most accessible event from your modern world. To think that you would get the opportunity was but a fleeting dream. At least, that was the case until you were dragged along to Fleur City. How fortunate of Vil to tailor your own attire for you. The process was not free of charge, of course. All it truly costed was several days of Vil playing dress up with his human mannequin. Thankfully, the fires caused by Rollo's magic never left a scratch on your garments, and you were more than happy that the ball had resumed after the incident.

With such grace, you let out a fit of giggles as Rook twirled you around on the dance floor. "Well done, Trickster! It seems that Vil's dance lessons have finally paid off as well." The blonde lowers himself to a bow, and you return a gesture of your own with a wide grin. "Yeah! I gotta thank him once we get back. Those shoes he recommended me were very good too!"

Looking back on the sea of students and staff alike, you found some relief in Trein watching over Grim and Deuce as they raided the tables lined up with food. Everyone else seemed to be occupied, whether they were mingling with other students or eyeing Rollo with caution. Rook takes your hand once more, stepping into the imaginary box dictating your steps as you pivot backwards. He leans into your ear, hands lightly tapping at your shoulders as you both paused.

"Have you noticed how Monsieur Crocodile has been watching you?"

Eyes flickering upwards, you see the half-fae standing guard by Malleus and Silver. Whereas Malleus seemed engrossed in a conversation with a Noble Bell student, and Silver occupied with his duty, Sebek's gaze was trained onto you like a hawk. It was too intense, too different from the way he watches over Malleus and his surroundings with such caution. No, this felt much different.

Rook leans in closer, and you swear he is smiling at Sebek. You swear that Rook is trying to provoke him with the way he shifts closer to your ear. "He has been eyeing you for a long time now, Trickster." The song sways into motion once more, and you have turned around to face the hunter entirely. He finds himself amused over your pink cheeks, the way you shake your head wildly in denial. "Please, Rook. He probably doesn't want me dishonoring Malleus in some way, shape, or form because his lord is associated with me." You rambled nervously, swallowing to yourself as Rook takes your hand and turns you through the dance floor as the strings soften their volume.

"Non, non. I would be delighted to disagree." Rook comes to a halt, tilting his head to the side as he returns his hands behind his back. You pause, confusion overtaking your expression until you turn your head to the side, finally eyeing what had caught the hunter's attention. Striding forward was a seemingly coolheaded Sebek, a hand trained behind his back and the other, relaxed at his side. Fixing his signature smile, Rook bows slightly before the knightly figure.

"Good evening, Monsieur Crocodile! I have yet to see you on the dance floor."

Clearing his throat, Sebek nods at Rook with a tight jaw. "It appears that Epel requires your presence. May you tend to him before he gets swamped with too many unwanted admirers?" The three of you glance off to the side, eyeing a distressed Epel trapped in a crowd of students who seem too eager to ask him for a dance. You suppose that without Vil to overshadow everyone else, Epel's charms were rather hard to resist for some. Maintaining that smile, Rook leaves with a short nod to both you and Sebek, striding away from the dance floor with poise.

Hands fallen to your lap, you watched as Sebek take a step closer in front of you. Does he hear your heart pounding as he holds out his arm? Biting onto your inner cheek, you tilted your head to meet his eyes which were filled with nothing but sheer determination. "Prefect, may I have the honor of stealing you for this dance?"

He does not miss the way your cheeks burn red now, and you do not miss the way his ears matched the same color. Steal? That sounded intimate, in comparison to simply 'asking' you for a dance. Not that it mattered though, not when your heart was doing the flips in your chest for him. "But of course, Sebek. I would be delighted."

It takes you by surprise as he reached out for your hand, gently lowering his head to place his lips against your knuckles. If you were already flushed red, surely, you felt even warmer than before. You do not even register the way he places his hand on your waist, the other held high for you to clasp on. You waste no time either on shuffling your steps according to his pace, constantly adjusting and turning to his lead. Though his head was held highly, his eyes were still trained onto your face.

"I never knew that you were good at dancing." You tell him, taking a quick glance to the side to find Malleus and Silver observing you both, smiling at the sight. Sebek pays no mind to the crowd, grunting in response. "To master the art of dancing is another skill to perfect, should I be a knight worthy of the Young Master. Even beyond the sword, it is his honor that I carry."

The strings are soft and gentle as Sebek circles you, his hand never leaving your waist. To onlookers, it appears that Malleus's vassal in the making has a second master. He is close, yet keeps a distance to exercise his restraint. Sebek knows better than to impose onto your space, but he would not appear to be a stranger. After spending more than enough time with you, whether it be within the company of Malleus or not, it was safe to say you were at least acquaintances, if not friends.

Still, friends do not dance together so intimately in front of crowds, not like this. There was a certain delicacy to his steps, and you can feel his eyes on you even when your back his turned. When he takes your hand, he laces his fingers before pulling away as if you were set alight. You try to follow, give chase as you both brush elbows with a turn, barely catching his conflicted expression as he returns his hand to your waist. It is a neverending cycle of push and pull, chasing and running, wanting and longing.

With a pivot, you take a step towards Sebek's chest as he closes the distance. A quiet gasp leaves your lips as your chin lightly brushes against the padding of his chest, just as his hand presses against your lower back for support.

And just then, the music stops and all you hear are murmurs and whispers from the crowd.

You take the time to peer into your surroundings past Sebek's shoulder, marveling at the crowd that had seemed to circle the grand ballroom. Pairs of Noble Bell students are stationed at the border of the dance floor, centering you and Sebek in the middle of it all. The combination of a magicless student and a half-fae look out of place, not to mention how your attires seemed to stand out from Fleur City's garments.

Sebek comes to the conclusion faster than you as he huffed to himself. "Ah, it seems we are put on the spot." For once, he is quiet. Quiet does not always yield to meekness, however. He lowers himself to your ear, unable to see your piqued expression. "What shall we do, Sebek?" You feel him shift his head every so slightly, looking towards the direction of where Malleus was supposedly sitting.

The half-fae grunted, and you could feel his fingers on your hip tense slightly. "The Young Master's honor befalls on us both, so does the honor of Night Raven College." After what felt like a long time, Sebek slowly pulled away to look you in the eye. You were not shying away from him, too lost in the moment to consider the possibility of stage fright.

"Prepare yourself, Prefect. I shall not hold back on your accord if you wish." Bravado returns to Sebek's voice, almost similar to his usual tone when proudly representing the Briar prince. It is the way that his lips threaten to twitch into a smirk as you beam at him with an agreeable nod. "Good, looks like we're on the same page." You breathed out, the strings strumming to life once more. The tempo is faster now, and your head tunes into the beat quickly.

You surprise Sebek as you take the initiative first. Much like the Trickster you were, you circle Sebek once with an arm ghosted before his chest until you meet his front. Clenching his jaw, he was taken aback by a mere moment by your boldness before a smug smirk surfaces across his features. He takes your hand slowly, taking a careful step forward before falling into the beat.

You supposed that everyone had Vil to thank for teaching the inexperienced students on how to dance with one another. It was not the first time you would be dancing with Sebek, but this was an entirely different matter. There wasn't much of a dance routine to recall, but only trust that your partner would always be in sync with you.

Sebek never disappoints when it came to observation, and it didn't take too long for him to adjust to your movements.

The world spins with each turn and pivot, but Sebek never relents and neither do you. His cape is flying through the air, and the extensions from your clothes flow in sync with his movements. As you barely ghost your head from his chest, you continue to glance into the crowd. You were barely able to catch Deuce and Grim from the crowd, attempting to support you with a 'thumbs-up'. Then you could see Rollo and Malleus side-by-side, arms crossed and musing upon the sight.

Everyone was switching partners, leaping from one dancer to another. Sebek's gentle grip on you remained, and your hand never leaves his shoulder as you both spun.

There were so many people whose eyes were trained on you, and the idea makes your head spin until your dance partner noticed. "Prefect, do not stray your gaze from me." You are almost startled by how commandeering his voice had become. For a slight moment, you both pull away, an arm behind your backs and the other lacing fingers. His eyes trained onto yours, as they always were, Sebek gives you an encouraging smile. "Focus on me." You do not understand, judging by the way you cock your head to the side innocently. "Care not for what the others think of you. It is only you and I here."

It takes a moment for you to relax, returning his smile before you closed the distance once more with a sweep of your foot. "And what are you thinking of, Sebek?" You respond, and it is that look on your face that takes his breath away. As he sweeps at the floor with you, he struggles to find the words. Between dancing and thinking, both had begun to feel difficult with each second that passes while he remained fixed onto your eyes. Ever so quietly, he finally clears his throat to answer your question.

"I am thinking about how the radiance of Fleur City pales when compared to your expressions."

Everyone is leaping again, the colors of Noble Bell wash over into a blur as your lips parted with surprise. Words are trapped in your throat as you looked up at Sebek, eyes softening in thought. For a moment, Sebek's face froze, almost as if he feared your reaction when it was anything but rejection. Your silence would've pained him, if he weren't so captivated by your expression as the world continues to spin.

Finally, he breaks the silence with a whine.

"Please don't look at me like that, Prefect. I beg you." It snaps you out of your trance, prompting you to furrow your eyebrows slightly in confusion. "Why? I am only looking at you like you asked." Sebek's grip tightens only slightly, demonstrating even further restraint. Almost like an agonized hiss, he responds with an accusing glare. "That's exactly it! I cannot think straight when you look at me with such an endearing expression!"

If it was an indirect comment, it cracks a smile from your face. Even as your eyes flutter shut into your stifled laughter, you never truly face away from the half-fae. Huffing to himself, Sebek's ears flush a warm pink. "You dare provoke me like this?" He says quietly, but it is merely a warning before he puffs up his chest with pride, regaining a new sense of energy.

Squeezing your hand with care, Sebek cleared his throat with a scowl. "Very well, then I shall give you my all for tonight. Do not regret this." As surly as he attempts to be, it does not deter you from returning his gesture with a squeeze of your own. "Of course not!"

You no longer know how long you have been dancing for. It seems that a few pairs have resigned to rest, leaving behind more room for you and Sebek to explore. You've long stopped paying attention to your surroundings, far too concerned with the way Sebek mutters quick praises into your ear with each turn and twirl. He is swift with his feet, yet so careful to ensure you do not fall on his watch. Neither of you have yet to stumble, far too engrossed and connected to collapse now.

"Good, Prefect! Keep up!"

The music never stops, and it seems it has no intents of stopping until only one pair remains. If your feet were ever tired, you never notice, not when Sebek's hands are constantly finding ways to touch you. Even as you both part for mere seconds, it does not take long for him to come back. He returns to you, just as how you retreat to him, how you surrender yourself to him, how you trust him to not let you fall.

You never realize how he comes so close to your face, dipping you low until his breath brushes against the crook of your neck. Sebek's arm was secure in the way he kept you from falling onto the floor, despite how far he had lowered you. His hot breath brushed against your cheek, and you could feel his body tense as you tighten your grip on his shoulder. "Is it appropriate for you to be this close to me?" You murmured softly, meeting his dilated eyes, that beautiful shade of gold. "Does it cause you discomfort?" He muttered in turn, almost ready to shift away should you express it. Much to his concern, you shook your head with a coy smile. "No."

Sebek held a smug smirk, confidence reflected behind his eyes once more. Just as he heaved forward to pull you back up, his lips brushed against the slight curve of your ear. For a moment, you wondered if it was just your imagination when you felt a sharp fang press itself against your skin for a brief moment.

"Very good, Prefect."

It clicks.

This is no longer an ordinary dance. It is a game of hiding one's affections. For someone as loud and proud like Sebek, it comes to a slight surprise that he would indulge in subtleties to express his fondness for you. Once he had pulled you from his dip, something changes within Sebek's movements.

Sebek holds you as if he were possessed, eyes glazed with yearning. The song had begun to ride out its climax, intensifying just as your partner closed in on you like a predator trapping its prey. It's not just about upholding reputations now.

Leaning into your space, Sebek's restrained hand lightly clawed at your back as he presses you closer to him. Finally able to obscure himself from your vision, he struggled to keep himself from growling, however much he could hold back the fae within him.

"Be careful, Prefect. If you keep looking at me with those eyes of yours,"

Pulling away, he bares his fangs before you, teeth clenched with intense concentration. Perhaps the act of putting on a show was no longer on his mind, traded in for the experience of watching your lovely expressions as he continued to control your turns with each step and pull. Sebek would never let you turn away from him, and you wouldn't dare to tear yourself away from his powerful gaze.

"I might just devour you whole."

"Monsieur Crocodile! I did not expect such a display from him, I applaud his tenacity!" Azul sighed to himself, debating on whether he should or shouldn't entertain the blonde who had taken to himself with a handkerchief to his eye. Against his better judgement, he turns to Rook with an exasperated expression. "His tenacity is applaudable, yes. Still, I do not understand why you have to shed a tear, Rook."

"Have you not noticed, Roi d'Effort?" Rook clicks his tongue, his smile relaxing as he swoons over the sight of the pair returning to Malleus and Silver. "It is most common to part from your current partner and land in the arms of another for these waltzes. The entire point of this dance is to explore different faces, after all." Only then does it click for Azul who hums in amusement, seemingly impressed by the sentiment.

"Monsieur Crocodile has not switched partners at all, and the knight-to-be has no intentions of ever handing off the Trickster to anyone else." Azul certainly never coined Sebek to be quite the romantic.

From a distance, you nudged Sebek's shoulder with a cheeky smile. "I suppose this demonstrates the good will between fae and humans, doesn't it?" You teased, only to be met by a reddened Sebek. All the bravado he exhibited during that dance seemed to have disappeared in Malleus's presence, but it's not as if you disliked it.

"R-Right! You are correct, Prefect! This spectacle shall demonstrate the Young Master's benevolence towards humans, as well as all those who represent him!" Sebek rambled, unable to meet you in the eye. Rubbing at the back of his neck, Malleus could only smile to himself in amusement.

It seems that Lilia had won his bet; Sebek will not be expressing the entirety of his true feelings to you today.

[elkkiel]

Felling down? Look at tiny II, look into his big blue boba lookin' eyes /hj

HI OMG HE IS SO CUTE AND IS NOW LIVING IN MY HOMESCREEN FOREVER (if that's okay 👉👈)

[burningcheese-merchant]

I know that it is highly unlikely that it is the case, but come and give it a thougjt with me (Yandere Spice with a twist).

What if: Burning Spice, despite being completely obsessive and being the sadomasochist he is, routinely cuts off the heads of animals and cookies and brings them to her the first time with a love letter (he used to be the Herald of Change, so I'd imagine he's got- and retained- some brains, enough to at least write a psychotic obsessive love letter).

Now, Golden Cheese is obviously gonna freak the f out and gape as he shoves the head into her arms (probably throw it into the air and back up in panic) while Burning Spice- though displeased at first, just grins manically at her reaction soon enough (maybe even laughing), before he grabs it and shoves the letter and head onto her hands again and leaving.

Golden Cheese, having noticed his reaction to her throwing it, becomes concerned with what he might do if she doesn't accept the 'gifts', decides to keep it (She flies hella fast and enters through her window and hides it in a secret compartment in her room, before creating a hidden room the other gifts in the future).

Now, here's the twist:

Despite the shock and horror she displayed to Burning Spice's gift, she knew that deep down... She fucking loved it. She silently revels in it, even. At having so much of the Beast- A cookiebeing you could practically almost consider primordial and all-powerful-'s attention and taking up so much of their headspace. To be obsessed over adored by someone like that, so much so that they would go out of their way to behead someone and something and write a love letter daily, just to give it to her as a gift-

In short, she absolutely loves the attention she will never say it and will keep that to her grave and Burning Spice and everyone else is none the wiser of it. Of how she'd kept every letter and laminated every single one with the care and cautiousness and love one would use when holding thin glass, of how she intentionally goes out alone every day for a few minutes just so Burning Spice would 'see an opening' and give his gift, where Golden Cheese would then act terribly disgusted and horrified, and then keep the gifts. Ignorant of how she has a room full of the 'gifts' he's given her- which she'd taken the time to personally taxiderm each and every one, before hanging it on the wall like a reward or trophy. Of how she'd come to the room every night to just adore it just the sight makes her want to coo and purr in delight for a few minutes to an hour, before going to bed and resting.

Sorry for the rambling and the long paragraphs 😅😅

This is such a horrifying (in a good way) concept that I MUST acknowledge it and give my take!!! Gonna put it under a cut because this is particularly dark

Yandere Spice basically acting like a cat is so fucking funny to me lol I love it

I'm so glad you think Spice is a smart guy due to having been the Herald of Change/History, because I think that too! He simply HAS to be intelligent, even wise to a degree. It would be ridiculous if he wasn't; being buff doesn't automatically mean you're dumb. And I LOVE the letter thing, I've always headcanoned Spice (the "normal" one, not the yandere one) as writing Golden romantic poetry (and her liking it lol. It helps win her over).

Now, with the murder gifts: of course Golden is horrified. Not only has Spice ended innocent lives, but he did it for her. In a way, it's her fault, and she feels horrible. Animal, person/cookie, doesn't matter, Spice has killed again and he gives the fruits of his sinful labor to her as a declaration of "love". It's sick. No matter how deranged she finds him, he finds a way to sink lower. (But... one thing: he never hurts birds. He has never once brought her a dead bird, because even he knows that's a step too far and she REALLY won't like it. It's the one little drop of care and tact that he possesses.)

But that twist: somewhere beneath all those layers of shock, disgust and righteous anger is... flattery. Sick, twisted flattery. There's nothing Golden loves more than being praised, than being worshiped, than being showered with attention and gifts... and Spice is doing that. He's feeding her ego, albeit in the worst way possible. And so great and terrible is her ego, no matter what she does to temper or suppress it, that somewhere deep down inside, she enjoys what he's doing. That he'll gladly kill for her. That he'll show off his hard work in search of her praise and admiration. She is a goddess and he knows it. He is giving her the adulation she rightfully deserves.

Now, of course, this contradicts her normally altruistic nature, and she has a massive crisis of conscience. She keeps everything Spice gives her, she keeps the heads and the letters and stores them all properly, because... Well, she tells herself that it's better this way. If she refused them, he would retaliate, if not against her then against another innocent. If she preserves the heads, she can later discover who they belonged to and hopefully return them to the person's family (and it was the least she could do; clean them up, give them back even a fraction of their grace and dignity...). If she reads the letters, she'll have better insight into his mind and how he thinks, and thus be able to formulate a better response to him and his behaviors. These excuses are what she mutters under her breath over and over as she sneaks the heads into her room, through the window so no one sees her. As she tidies and laminates the letters, and stores them in a secure folder that she tucks into a box under the bed (which eventually becomes boxes, the more and more letters she gets). As she expertly taxidermies the heads and places them on nice shelves in a hidden closet in her room. It's better this way. She has to do this.

...and these are all true, they really are. But at the same time... Existing alongside this pain and terror and crushing guilt, is the sick joy in knowing that she has someone wrapped around her finger this completely. And a Beast, too. The Beast of Destruction, no less. Burning Spice himself, heads over heels in love with her, willing to do anything to have her. It shouldn't please her to have a monster practically at her beck and call, but... it does. It really, truly does. And no matter how much she hates herself for it... It's never enough to make it stop.

Sometimes, she'll hint at a specific person she doesn't like - usually a known enemy of her kingdom - just to see if he'll do what she thinks he will. Sure enough, the next time they meet, he has that person's head ready for her, all but puffing his chest out in pride and grinning that hideous, face-splitting, cruel grin of his. She acts upset, but she's actually pleased to know that she was right: he WILL do what she tells him to, just to please her.

Sometimes she'll stand there admiring her ever-expanding taxidermy collection, congratulating herself on her hard work; she does a better and better job every time. (And when the guilt comes bubbling to the surface, asking her why they're still here and not with their loved ones so they can have a proper funeral, she tells it that Spice will lose it if he catches her giving them away. Or she'll be made out to be the one responsible, since she's the one who has them. Or they're dead, their souls have departed to the afterlife, what happens to their mortal vessels matters not anymore...)

Sometimes, when she's in bed at night, she'll pull out the letters and read them. Sometimes she'll read one, sometimes a few, sometimes all of them. Some are surprisingly sweet and romantic, full of oddly gentle and doting words; she can feel the warmth and affection soaked into the page. Others are downright vulgar; she feels her own face catch fire as she reads through what are obviously his fantasies, the list of ways in which he wants to pleasure her so long and graphic that she suspects he wrote them one-handed, if you know what I mean. The rest are just flat-out deranged: feverish rants about his ownership of her, how he hated and wanted to get rid of those around her, how she took everything from him (his power, his sanity, his heart, his soul) and he was willing to pardon it if she gave him everything of hers in turn. How he will never stop hunting her. How he will slaughter thousands to get to her. How he will bring the world to ruins just to have her to himself. Madness. All-consuming delusion that she fears is incurable.

But the worst part is... she doesn't know if she wants it to be anymore.

All she can do now is... hope he never finds out. Hope he never knows she feels this way. That she relishes his kills, his gifts. That she has a godforsaken trophy room now. That now she's as starved for his attention as he is for hers. (And he will. The idea is simply too tantalizing. He WILL find out eventually, someway, somehow - and when he does... Oh boy.)

TL;DR: Golden is so greedy that her greed has warped her into being as bad as Spice, at least in her own way. They probably deserve each other at this point. Pure, incorrigible arrogance and psychopathy all the way down. God/Witches have mercy on us all

[astronicht]

I love the very subtle but important presences of bez and pecco in tavullia radio!! and also everything else about it obviously. would love to know if you had any more thoughts about like what they're doing thinking seeing feeling! the image of pecco running into freshly fucked and sucked marc at the espresso machine he can't use and making him a tiny coffee enchants and delights me. in my mind he is suffering horrors. thank you for such a perfect fic!!

thank you Leah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 So in my head etc Pecco and Marc are already technically or already have been teammates. I was thinking as I wrote it "is this next month? or is this december after the 2025 season?" haha. Either way Pecco is like. In a phase of life where he has decided that he is professionally obligated to have some form of rapport with Marc. And if they've been working together for a bit, they awkwardly kind of already DO, just not. NOT in this setting. Always on neutral Ducati ground. THIS scenario (freshly fucked and sucked marc at vale's ranch, in pecco's friendly ranch kitchen, where he was NOT expecting visitors) is NOT part of this carefully polite professional rapport. Unlike the rest of the guys Pecco can't just grunt and shuffle past (he totally could have; Marc did not want to talk to anyone). He's forcing himself to try to be normal and thus extending everyone's suffering lol. They don't even dislike each other. This somehow makes it all worse.

Pecco made Marc a Turkish coffee instead of just getting out one of the 3-5 mokas kicking around because he has gotten into foodie youtube and Turkish coffee came up, and he carefully bought the correct little cup to boil it in and the correct finely ground coffee and he has like, watched videos on how to get the foam right. Very much your friend who gets really into foodie youtube and is suddenly making what you think of as simple staple dishes with all the right utensils and the correct dipping sauce that no one in ur family ever bothered with. He actually had come in to make a coffee for himself before practice (i think he's considering doing a little mentoring? which never interested him much. Marc appears in moments of Pecco identity or professional crisis, in this universe) so you have to picture Pecco out there somewhere with a little cup of Turkish coffee and haunted eyes, wondering if he can drink it.

Marc actually wanted tea, or to have the balls to wander around the ranch in boxer briefs and a t-shirt smelling violently like sex, but he saw the giant fuck-off luxury espresso machine and was like. the look of it annoyed him so he was definitely going to force it to work or just break it. a little bit his instinct to push at vale a little, to try to figure out where the lines are, or to know for sure that vale isn't going to snap over something normal again.

So that was the mood and then pecco came in and was like oh god. oh god he's going to touch the espresso machine and we'll have to have it repaired again. oh god we won't be able to tell vale that marc did it and we'll have to blame celestino again. Just polite Pecco voice being sooo normal like Hi Marc Would You Like A Coffee :) [intense suffering]. He is overcompensating and being as normal as possible bc marc looks fucked ouuuuut and also is doing the terrifying dead fish eyes and slight grin he does when in extreme physical pain and forced to converse, bc he's dissasociating and also does not care enough to make nice expressions for pecco. (Vale used to fuck himself to sleep despite insomnia -- like he just did -- all the time when Marc was 22 and the memory is a bit much.)

Bez meanwhile is having a total gay... crisis isn't the right word. ring of keys dot mp3. the particular egg-cracking feeling of seeing something you didn't know you desperately wanted until you want it violently and think you're gonna cry for no reason. seeing it is both horrifying (for the same reasons pecco is horrified; marc is fucking motorcycle dad) and makes him want so much it fills his mouth with spit, and that scale of desire is weird and confusing and almost a high. but also he LIKES having a grudge against Marc. It's comforting. It's so awful to be jealous of him, while also realizing he's not jealous that Marc is fucking Vale, because in the end Bez is also being forced to realize that he doesn't exactly want to fuck Vale (well, it's complex, but he doesn't want to fuck Vale like Marc wants to fuck Vale and thus Marc even managed to get a win over Bez by being gay in the way Bez would've liked to have been gay).

Anyway!! Bez got wronged in this fic, I don't want to assign him "italian son with sisters who never learned to make coffee". But i did do that. Also he feels twitchy and guilty about the falsely attributed coffee thing for days. Probably vents to Celestino, who is like "why are you talking about coffee bez i am at the club. did i break the espresso machine again bez?? i can't hear u maybe there's better signal on the roof [call dropped as cele's phone dies and isnt' charged for 3 days]"

[winchesterwild78]

An Unexpected Friendship pt 5

Master List

Characters: Jensen Ackles x Reader, Reader’s daughter, Jensen’s children

Warnings/Trigger Warnings: mentions of death, fluff

A/N: This is a short story written in collaboration with @cheekygirl2309.

This chapter has the Reader meeting Jared and Gen, and gifting Jensen something spicy for his birthday.

No disrespect to Jensen or his family. This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. Written and edited fast-please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

The next morning I woke up before anyone else in the house. I crept downstairs and decided to start making breakfast. I heard the creak of the stairs and then felt warm, strong arms around me. I smiled as I leaned against Jensen’s chest. He moved my hair and softly kissed my neck, “Good morning beautiful.” “Good morning, Jensen.” I smiled. 

“What are you doing up so early?” He asked as he turned me around to face him. “I wanted to make breakfast for everyone. I figured the kids would need breakfast before they went outside to play. Jensen softly kissed my lips, “Let me help you.” I nodded as I handed him the spatula to flip the pancakes. 

I moved around the kitchen getting the rest of breakfast ready. Being in the kitchen, making breakfast for all of us with Jensen felt easy, perfect. As the two of us cooked and moved around the kitchen, we would steal little kisses and touches. It made my heart flutter and made me giggle a little. Jensen would smirk every time I let out a giggle. 

Just as we finished cooking we heard the unmistakable sound of little feet bounding down the stairs, “Sounds like the kids are up.” Jensen chuckled. “Yeah, by the sound of it, all of them are.” I smiled. 

All four kids came into the kitchen. “Good morning, guys.” I greeted them with a smile. “Good morning.” They all said, almost in unison. “I hope you’re hungry, we made breakfast.” The kids sat around the table as Jensen and I plated their food. 

As we ate we talked about some things we had going on soon. Jensen told us he was due to leave in about a week to start filming in Toronto. The kids all looked a little sad. I tried to hide my sadness, but my eyes met Jensen’s and he knew. 

“So I want to invite Jared, Gen and the kids over tonight. I want them to meet you and Jazzy and hang out before I have to leave. I figured we could grill out and have dinner.” The kids squealed in delight and told Jazzy how much fun Tom, Shep and Odette are. 

I was a little nervous. This was Jensen’s best friend and I wasn’t exactly sure if he would approve of mine and Jensen’s relationship moving so quickly. 

After breakfast was done the kids went upstairs to change and I started to clean up. Jensen came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked softly. I nodded yes, not trusting my voice. I could feel the sting of the tears in my eyes. 

This was the first time Jensen was leaving us and I didn’t know how I was going to handle it. He turned me around to face him and he saw the tears in my eyes. “Oh baby, what’s wrong?” “Nothing, Jens. It’s stupid. I’ll be okay.” He lifted my chin, “Sweetheart, it’s not stupid if it’s upsetting you, and clearly whatever it is is really bothering you. Please, baby. Talk to me.” 

I took a deep, steading breath, “Honestly I’m a little nervous to meet Jared and Gen. What if they don’t like me and tell you we are moving too fast and you decide to break up with me. I’m also a little sad you’re leaving. I understand you have to go film, but this is the first time you will be gone.”

“Well first, Jared and Gen are going to love you because I do, and filming is something we will have to navigate together. I try not to be gone too long, and I will FaceTime you every day. I can’t go a day without seeing you, so you better be ready for our video calls.” He chuckled. 

I felt a little better, but it still was in the back of my mind. I finished cleaning, and got showered and dressed. After we were all dressed, we decided to take the kids shopping and then to the grocery store to get stuff to cook. Jensen had called Jared and he loved the idea of coming over to eat and meet us. 

“So Y/N, while I’m gone filming I’ll call the nanny that usually keeps the kids for me so you don’t have to worry about anything.” I looked at him a little taken back, “Oh okay, if that’s what you think is best.” Jensen continued driving, but looked over at me. “Baby, are you okay?” He took my hand in his. "Yeah, I mean I guess. I understand you getting the nanny, but honestly I thought I would look after them. If I’m going to be a part of their lives, I’m going to have to figure out how to navigate life with four kids.” As Jensen pulled into a parking spot he looked over at me, “Honey, I was going to call in the nanny to help. You will still be in charge. She’s just going to be an extra set of hands for you.” He smiled at me. “Oh okay, I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions. I appreciate that Jensen.” I leaned over and kissed his lips, earning “ewws” from the backseat. 

Jensen and I laughed and got out of the car. 

We got the kids out and went into the store to shop. Jensen picked up some things he needed for his trip, the kids all got new shoes and I picked up some things I needed for the house. Jensen disappeared for a few minutes as the kids and I made our way to the check out lane. 

A few hours later we were home, Jensen had fired up the grill and the Padalecki’s were there. I was so nervous when they walked in, but Jared pulled me into a big bear hug and made me feel instantly at ease. “I’m so glad you’re okay and you’re here taking care of our boy. He was worried sick about you.” Gen was just as sweet, telling me she could see how much Jensen cared about me just by looking at him. 

“He’s been a little adrift after his wife died, so I’m glad he found you, and he has you.” I smiled softly at her as she said that to me, “I’m glad I found him too. He’s an incredible person, an amazing father, and an even better boyfriend. I am going to miss him when he leaves next week for filming. I just hope we can navigate this together.” 

Gen touched my hand, “Hey, I’m here for you. When the guys leave for filming or conventions, it’s hard. It does get a bit easier though. If you need anything while he’s gone, you call me. In fact, let’s figure out a girls day while he’s gone and the kids are in school.”

I smiled brightly, “That would be wonderful, thank you, Gen.” Jared walked over a few minutes later and sat down beside his wife, “So, Y’N. How’s things going? Is our boy treating you well?” I smiled, “Yes, he’s incredible, and Jazzy loves him so much.” “Jensen’s birthday is in about 4 days, so right before he leaves. Do you have anything planned?” Jared asked. 

“Actually yes, I had pictures taken for him of all four of the kids and had prints made, I also ended up getting him something I can’t tell you about because it’s private and for his eyes only.” I smiled as he got a confused look on his face. Gen smiled at her husband's confusion.

Then the realization hit him and he blushed a little. Gen and I laughed. Jensen looked over at the three of us and smiled. He continued cooking and Jared got up and walked over to him. 

Gen looked over at Jensen and then back at me. “He’s in love with you, I hope you know that. I’ve seen that look one other time in all the years I’ve known him, and he married that girl.” I smiled and looked at Jensen then back at her, “I’m in love with him too. I know it’s fast and it doesn’t make sense, but there is just something about him. Being with him is easy, being with the kids is easy.” 

Gen touched my arm and smiled, “Don’t let anyone tell you two it’s too fast. When you know you know, it doesn’t matter how long it’s been. I knew Jared was it for me right away. It was love at first sight.” 

Jared and Jensen were talking around the grill, “Hey man, I really like Y/N, and her daughter is adorable. She seems like she’s good for you and the kids.” Jared said to Jensen. “Yeah, Jar, everything feels right. I’m in love with her.” Jared touched Jensen’s shoulder, “I know man, I know.” 

As the evening came to an end, Gen and I exchanged numbers and picked a day to go to the spa. We all agreed to go to dinner for Jensen’s birthday before he left for filming. Hearing again he was leaving made my heart a little sad. I knew he had projects already set up, but as the days creeped closer to him leaving I grew sadder. 

We said our goodbyes, and got the kids in bed. As Jazzy crawled in bed she started to cry. “What’s wrong baby?” I asked as I tried to hold her. “I don’t want Daddy Jensen to leave. He won’t come home to me.” Jensen heard her and walked into the room and sat on the bed beside her. “Baby girl, I promise I’ll be home before you know it.” 

She threw her arms around his neck and held tightly. “Daddy, please don’t leave me.” She cried. My heart broke and Jensen’s did too. He held her tightly and did his best to quiet her fears. “Shh baby, it’s okay.” Jensen ended up rocking her until she fell asleep in his arms.

He gently laid her down and covered her up. We slipped out of the room and in the hallway I threw my arms around him and kissed him, “Thank you, Jensen. You are an incredible father.” He pulled me close and kissed me back, “And you’re an incredible mother.” 

Jensen and I crawled into bed and made love until we were both satisfied, then we laid in each other’s arms and talked. We talked about his trip, the kids, and our future. 

The next few days passed too fast. Jensen’s birthday was in two days and I started to get nervous about his gift. I wondered if he would really like what I got him, more specifically the special gift from me. I knew he’d love the pictures of the kids, but I was getting nervous about my gift. 

Jazzy came into my room fidgeting. “Mommy.” “Yes, baby?” “Um Daddy’s birthday is soon and I want to get him something.” I smiled at her, “Baby I already picked up something from the four of you.” She hung her head, “Oh, okay.” I took her hand and smiled softly, “Jazzy, go get your coat and we can go find something.” She smiled brightly and took off.

“Jens, I’m taking Jazzy out for a bit, we will be back shortly.” Jensen walked into the room and kissed my lips, “Okay baby. Be careful. I love you.” I leaned back in and kissed him, “I love you too.”

Jazzy and I went to the store and she carefully walked through each aisle. She’d pick up something, carefully inspect it and then put it back down. I could tell she was getting frustrated. That’s when I saw a plaque that talked about a dad who stepped up and didn’t have to. I picked it up and read it with a smile on my face. 

Jazzy looked up at me, “Mommy, what does it say?” I read it to her, “Stepped Up Dad. One who made the Choice to love another’s child as their own. One who Steps Up to provide, Protect, encourage and love. You may not have Given me the gift of life but you have given me the Gift of you. Thank you for being the Father you didn’t have to be.”

Her eyes went wide, “Mommy that’s Daddy Jensen.” I smiled, “Yes it is baby.” “Mommy, can I get that for him?” I smiled and nodded. She carefully carried it to the register and I paid the bill. When we got home she carried it to her room and I took her some wrapping paper. She wanted to wrap it herself.

As she was wrapping her gift she looked over and saw her stuffed rabbit she’d had since she was a baby. She smiled and got an idea. 

The day of Jensen’s birthday I made him his favorite breakfast, the kids all made him cards and it was time for me to give him the gifts I had made for him. Before I could give him the pictures of the kids, Jazzy came in with her gift. 

She handed it to Jensen with a big smile on her face. I noticed the gift looked like she had added something to it, I just wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Jensen smiled as he was opening her gift. As soon as he opened it her stuffed bunny fell out. Jensen looked a little confused, “Baby girl, did you mean to wrap this?” Jensen held up the bunny. 

She nodded, “Yes, so you can take it with you when you go. To keep you company and remind you of me.” Jensen pulled her close and kissed her head, “Thank you baby girl.” He carefully sat the bunny down and opened the rest of the gift. He read the plaque and you saw tears prick his eyes. He looked at you and then at Jazzy. “I love this so much sweetie.” He pulled her close.

Then I handed him a box. He looked at me and smiled. When he opened the box he gasped. “These are beautiful! Wow! Look at all my babies together.” I had him larger prints made, but I also had him a small flipbook made so he could take it with him. He stood up and pulled me up and into his arms, “These are amazing, thank you baby.” Jensen kissed me deeply.

After he opened his gifts the kids went to play and it was time for me to give him my gift. I took a deep breath, “Um, Jens. I have another gift for you.” His eyes sparkled “Baby, you didn't have to get me anything else.” “I know, but I wanted to. I’m just really nervous. I’ve never done anything like this before and honestly I’m terrified.” 

Jensen cupped my face and looked in my eyes, “Darlin’ you don’t ever have to be nervous or scared with me.” I took a deep breath and let it out, then handed him another box.

Jensen opened it and pulled out the bound book. As he flipped through it, I noticed the smirk on his face grow wider and it turned into a genuine smile. “Damn, I’m a lucky man. These are incredible, beautiful. You’re beautiful.” I blushed as he looked at the boudoir pictures I had made for him. As he flipped through the book I noticed he was getting more excited, and he had to adjust his pants. 

When he got to the last picture he started laughing. His head went back and he laughed. The last photo was me wearing nothing but a “I Love Dean Winchester” shirt. I chuckled. 

He pulled me close and kissed me. “Thank you baby. These were absolutely incredible and the pictures of all our babies together was perfect. I actually have an appointment I need to get to, but I’ll be back soon. Are you okay with holding down the fort?” I nodded, “Yes, baby. Go ahead and head out. We will be fine. Besides, the kids wanted to surprise you with something later anyway, so this works out perfectly.” 

I kissed him quickly and he headed out while the kids and I got busy making his cake. 

A few hours later the cake was ready and Jensen came home. He smiled when he saw the cake. “Hey, Y/N, kids, can you guys come here?”

All of us went into the family room and Jensen's smile was huge. “So guys, Y/N and Jazzy are a big part of our family now. We live together, and I love them very much.” He looked at his children, “And I know you three love them too. Jazzy like a sister and Y/N like a second mom.” The kids shook their heads yes.

“So I did something today to make sure everyone else knows how much I love them.” Then he lifted his shirt and we saw on his arm a new tattoo. Intertwined with the tattoos he had for his children was a bouquet of Jasmine flowers. 

I gasped when I saw it. I couldn’t believe he added a tattoo for Jazzy. Jazmyne was speechless when we explained it to her. 

“Daddy got me on his arm, too?” “Yes, baby. I did.” All the kids gathered around him and looked at his arm. They loved it too. 

“Okay guys, let’s go get some dinner with Uncle Jared and Aunt Gen.” Jensen said as he stood up. “Kids go change. I laid your clothes on your beds.” I told them as they bounded up the stairs. 

Jensen and I walked to our shared room and started to change. I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. “See something you like, Ms Y/L/N?” I stepped closer and rested my hands on his bare chest, “Oh absolutely, Mr Ackles. You just wait until we get home tonight. I saved those outfits from the pictures.” I winked at him and went to walk past him. He grabbed me and growled, “Mmm I can’t wait to see them on you, and take them off.” I giggled as he pulled me closer.

*Time Jump to the day Jensen leaves*

The morning of the day Jensen had to leave was a bit somber. JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin were used to Jensen leaving, but that didn’t mean it was easy for them. I was worried about Jazmyne. She had been having nightmares about Jensen not coming home and she didn’t want him to leave her side. Two nights ago she woke up from a nightmare and wouldn’t let Jensen go, so he laid down beside her and fell asleep laying on her bed. 

Last night was another night of tears and her begging him not to leave. Jensen found his old stuffed Care Bear he had when he was younger and gave it to her to hold. “Jazzy, this was mine when I was about your age. This is Braveheart Bear. My mother bought him for me to keep with me to help me be brave when they were gone for work. You see, my dad went away to act too, and I would miss him. So my mom got me this and look, *he pointed to the bear’s foot), it has my name on it. I want you to hold on to it. It will help you be brave while I’m gone. So you have my stuffy, and I have yours.” She took the bear and held it tightly against her chest. 

She finally drifted off to sleep. This morning when she got up she was carrying it around with her. I laid on our shared bed in Jensen’s shirt as he packed. I kept sliding his shirt further up my thigh. I giggled as he groaned. 

“Baby, you’re killing me.” He bit his lower lip. “Oh I know.” I smirked. Jensen dropped his bag and climbed on the bed, hovering over me and started to pepper me with kisses. “God I’m going to miss you, Y/N.” “I’m going to miss you too, Jensen.” 

Jensen got up and carried his bags downstairs. I got dressed and went down to join him. I could hear the kids playing as I helped Jensen gather the last bit of stuff to put in his bag. 

I had his charger and other things and went to put them in his bag. I walked into the living room expecting his bags to be by the door but they weren’t there. “Hey, Jensen. Where are your bags?” “They are by the front door.” I looked around and still didn’t see them.

“Honey, they aren’t there.” Jensen walked in the room, “What? I just set them down.” We searched all over the house for his bags and couldn’t find them. We walked into the playroom and found JJ, Arrow and Zeppelin playing, “Hey guys, have you seen daddy’s bags?” They looked up and in unison said no.

“Have you three seen Jazzy?” I asked as I realized she wasn’t in the room. “She was in her room.” Arrow answered.

I walked to Jazzy’s room and found her sitting on her bed with Breaveheart. “Hey Jazzy, have you seen Jensen’s bags?” She shook her head quickly and looked down. Jensen appeared at the door and I looked at him.

“Jazmyne Marie, did you do something with the bags?” I asked sternly. She lowered her head and shook her head yes, then pointed to behind the bed. Jensen stepped over and looked, finding his bags. He pulled the bags out and looked at me. “Jazmyne Marie, why would you take his bags? You know he needs to leave.” 

Tears fell from her eyes, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want him to leave.” I was about to say something else, but Jensen touched my arm and stopped me. “It’s okay, darlin’. I’ve got this. “Baby girl, come here.” Jensen pulled Jazzy into his lap. “I promise the days will go by fast. You’ve got your mama, JJ, Arrow and Zeppy. You also have Braveheart, and I have Mr. Bunny. I also had this made for you.” He pulled out a small box and Jazzy opened it. It was a heart shaped locket like the girls had. Jensen opened it and showed her a picture of her on one side and him on the other. “Now, we will always be together no matter how far apart we are.”

“I love it, thank you.” She said as he put it on around her neck.  

The time to say goodbye to Jensen had arrived. The kids cried and held him tightly. He had tears in his eyes too. Then he pulled me flush to his chest, “I love you so much, Y/N. You take good care of our babies while I’m gone, and I promise when I get back, you and I will spend the whole day in bed.” I kissed him deeply, “I’ll hold you to that, Ackles.” 

Jensen grabbed his bags and headed outside with them. He loaded the SUV, turned to wave goodbye and blew us a kiss. “I love you five so much, take care of each other while I’m gone, and kids be good.” We waved, blew kisses and watched him drive away. I stood there wondering how I was going to survive the next month without him, without his kiss, without his arms wrapped around me. 

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[ladykailitha]

Of Butterflies and Backstrokes Part 14

Here were at the penultimate chapter. Just one more chapter to go and I am so proud of this little story. I know I said that yesterday but it is just such a good story.

The final chapter will be up on Friday!

In this we a misunderstanding, Eddie gets advice from his new roommate, Dr. Hughes is a saint.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

*throws cliffhanger at you and runs!*

~

Steve had been to a lot of places when he competed but nothing was quite like London, England.

The city was massive for a start. And ancient in ways America just isn’t. Steve, Wayne, and Robin had book their flight through Gatwick instead of Heathrow to save on money and so they arrived ahead of the athletes. Which game them time to see a bit of the city.

Robin squealed with delight when she got to ride on the top of a double-decker bus.

“The only thing that would make this better is if it was purple and had a third level!” she said excitedly.

Max had introduced Robin to Harry Potter and there was no going back. She was a Ravenclaw of course. And a good portion of her clothes were in blue or silver. There was no way to get the original blue and bronze from the book for love or money, much to her dismay.

Wayne just shook his head. He didn’t veer far from his sports and shows, but he did enjoy a good British mystery. Him and Eddie watched Sherlock. Though, everyone watched Doctor Who religiously every Saturday on Steve’s big screen TV.

They traveled over the London Bridge, the real one and not the Tower Bridge that everyone confuses it to be. It’s a regular suspension bridge. Which Robin thought was lame.

They arrived at their hotel and Steve and Robin went into one room and Wayne went into the other. Once they were showered and changed, they went to go meet Eddie at the airport. They waited by the baggage claim for him to arrive.

They saw a bunch of athletes pile out of security and they jumped up and down trying to find in the crowd.

Wayne spotted him first. He waved his arm in the air. “Eddie!”

Those chocolate button eyes lit up as Eddie heard his name being called. Suddenly Steve and Robin were joining in and calling his name too.

He patted someone on the shoulder and trotted over to the three of them. He gave them all hugs.

“Can you believe it?” Eddie squealed. “The actual fucking Olympics. And all thanks to Stevie here, seeing my potential.”

Steve ducked his head to hide his blush. “I may have recognized your talent, but you’re the one who got you here.”

Eddie looked over his shoulder. “Look, guys. I’d love to stay and chat, but they want us to jump through hoops and shit, so I’ve got to go. But I’ll message you once I get the chance, okay?”

They all nodded and once Eddie got his luggage he was sprinting back to the other athletes.

“Well that was certainly something,” Robin said dryly, pursing her lips together. “I realize that he probably has to check in and stuff, but who was that guy he was chatting with before he noticed us?”

Steve’s stomach twisted as he tried to tell himself he had no claim to Eddie. Eddie was only twenty to his own twenty-six. It was good Eddie was meeting people his own age. Maybe... he gulped hard. Maybe find someone to have a fling with or even...He closed his eyes. He shook his head.

“Steve?” Robin asked breaking into his revery with a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, I’ve been calling your name for a bit there. You okay?”

“Yeah, sorry,” he said with a blinding, and blindingly false smile. “Just hard to be here and not be competing, you know?”

Robin and Wayne shared a glance. They really hadn’t thought about that aspect of this trip. They had been so excited to see Eddie in the Olympics that they forgot that had Steve not been hurt last time, he would be with Eddie, getting his badge and room sorted. Instead of here with the family members.

“Sorry, Steve,” Robin murmured. “I feel like such a bad friend now.”

Steve shrugged her off. He looked at his watch. “I think I’m going to call Dr. Hughes.” He walked off in the direction of the exit, leaving behind a hurt Robin and a solemn Wayne.

Once he was out in open air, Steve felt like he could breathe again. The feelings for Eddie plus the weight of not being one of the athletes was just suddenly too much.

He chew on his thumbnail as he dialed Dr. Hughes. “Please pick up. Please pick up.”

“Hello, Steve,” Dr. Hughes said warmly. “I was expecting you to call today for I took the day off to be available to you.”

Steve slumped against the building wall and huffed out a watery laugh. “Am I really that predictable?”

“No, Steve,” Dr. Hughes assured him. “Trauma is that predictable. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, seeing Eddie standing where you stood four years ago. All hopes and dreams and to have them taken away from you so quickly. You’re allowed to grieve that. I’m proud of you for reaching out.”

“It’s just so heartbreaking,” Steve said, fighting back tears. “I thought I could be happy enough for Eddie. But I just want to shake him.” He cocked his head to the side. “Or, you know, kiss him.”

Dr. Hughes chuckled. “I was wondering when you were going to admit to that one. You’ve been pining after that boy for so long, Steve.”

“It’s unethical,” Steve huffed, tilting his head back until it hit the wall behind him. “I’m his coach and I’m six years older. I can’t be lusting over a twenty year old that I have authority over. I don’t want to lose him by being removed as his coach. I think that would devastate us both.”

“That’s certainly true,” he murmured. “But you aren’t his coach right now and it might be a good idea to at least confront those feelings and see where it takes you. You can always find someone else to coach him. Promote Robin. I’m sure she’d love that.”

Steve chuckle was a little watery this time. “Yeah, I don’t doubt it. She’d throw me under a bus if meant getting a fancy coaching jacket.”

Dr. Hughes chuckled back. “Well maybe toss in a bag of corn chips and then she’ll throw you under the bus.”

“Thanks Dr. Hughes,” Steve said, smiling now. “Will it be okay if I call you more during the next two weeks?”

“Fortnight,” Dr. Hughes said in amusement, “the British call two weeks a fortnight. But yes Steve you can call me at any time. Doesn’t matter the time, all right?”

“Yeah, of course,” Steve said breathing a sigh of relief. “Thanks again. And hopefully it won’t be too soon.”

“It wouldn’t matter if it was,” Dr. Hughes said gently. “Trauma is like a box with a button in it and a ball rotating around. At first the ball, life if you will, will keeping hitting the button. Over and over again. Then with time, therapy, and good support system the ball gets smaller and starts to ping off the sides and at odd times, often when you least expect it, the ball will hit the button.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Steve whined, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“It’s like in ‘The Emperor’s New Groove’,” Dr. Hughes explained with a chuckle, “when the squirrel pops the balloon and nothing happens but when Kuzco yells Ha! it wakes the panthers. It’s a bit like that.”

“Oh okay,” he said. “I think I get it. Something bad will happen and you think it will trigger it but it doesn’t. Then something you thought you’d be fine with suddenly awakens the sleeping panthers?”

“That’s it exactly,” Dr. Hughes said approvingly. “You get some sleep and maybe a small snack, both will help with the feelings you have.”

“Thanks again,” Steve said and hung up. He looked up to see Wayne and Robin standing a respectful distance away. “Sorry about that, guys.”

“Don’t you be apologizing for being overwhelmed, you hear?” Wayne said dryly. “It’s not your fault we’re a pair of idiots.”

Robin came up and gave him a big hug. “Yeah. We’re really sorry. But you’ve got to tell us when you get these feelings, we can’t read your mind, okay?”

Steve nodded into her arms. “I’ll try to but sometimes it just hits me out of nowhere and I can’t control that.”

“Roger that!” she said with a sniffle. “I’m guessing just now was one of those moments where it just hit you?”

“Yeah,” he said letting out a shuddering breath. “I was watching Eddie laughing with his teammates and it just suddenly became too much.”

“You always were wet, Harrington,” a sneering voice said from behind them. “I just didn’t realize it was that bad.”

Steve turned around slowly. “Billy Hargrove. I was ultimately surprised Jason made it through the trials. Who did you pay off to take the hit in his heat?”

Billy’s sneer grew to a snarl. “You always thought you were better than everyone else, Harrington but look at you now. Crying in an airport.”

“You always were a better liar than you were a swimmer,” Steve scoffed. “Maybe you should run along and leave the winning to the people who know what that looks like.”

“Bitch,” he snapped and stormed off to a rental Jag that was waiting for him on the curb.

~

Eddie would have flopped face first into the mattress but he was pretty sure that if he did, it would collapse under him. His roommate was a guy named Trent York, who also had been his seat partner on the flight over. They had a lot in common. They liked D&D, fantasy movies, and

they both grew up poor.

Alas, Trent not only as straight as an arrow, but was planning on proposing to his girlfriend if he got on the podium for any of his events.

God, he wished he had been able to stick around with Steve and Wayne and Robin. But Steve had been there before and knew how hectic it was when they first landed, right?

Right?

But when he turned around to wave goodbye, Steve had this look. Like Eddie had done something wrong. And as much as he hated to admit it, it took him awhile to figure out why. From Wayne and his friends’ point of view, it looked like he had been flirting with Trent and then hurried to get back to him.

Which had not been the case and he really didn’t want to have have to overexplain to Steve that it wasn’t what it looked like. Eddie already felt like he was pressuring Steve into something he didn’t want to do.

Which he was absolutely not about, at all.

He laid gently on the bed and flopped awkwardly around so that he was face down into the pillow.

Trent, who had gone to the bathroom huff out a startled laugh. “I really don’t want to know, man. Just don’t bring anyone back to the room and I won’t either.”

Eddie mumbled something in reply.

“Sorry I didn’t catch that,” Trent said sitting down on his bed.

Eddie turned his head so that it was no longer smashed into the pillow. “I’m in love with my swimming coach from back home.”

“Ah.”

Trent looked around for a moment and then spotted a folding chair nearby. He grabbed it and set it up next to Eddie. Then sat on it backwards.

“That’s rough shit, Ed,” he said gently. “I can’t imagine what I would do if Lucy was my coach instead of the one of the girls in the club I swim with. Does he know how you feel?”

Eddie sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. “Yeah. And he feels the same. He’s just worried that swimming commission will remove him as my coach and as all the other coaches where I swim are stuck up snobs, they wouldn’t take me on and I’d have to quit again.”

“Ah ha.”

Trent thought for a moment. “There are a couple other options.”

Eddie scoffed. “Like what?”

“Tell them to fuck off?” Trent suggested. “It’s discouraged not forbidden.”

“That’s what I keep telling him,” Eddie said rolling his eyes. “But he’s got some serious trauma and has anxiety.”

“Who did you say your coach was?”

“Steve Harrington.”

“Okay,” Trent said, his eyes wide in shock. “I’ll admit that even I would tap that if I was gay. Holy shit. Plus like God tier level skill in the water, too. Yeah. Okay. That certainly makes things harder.”

“Tell me about it,” Eddie huffed. “So what were your other suggestions for wooing said God?”

Trent pursed his lips together. “Find a coach willing to teach you? Like maybe go to a different pool. Just don’t give up, okay? You really don’t need this right now when you’re about to compete on the world level.”

Eddie let out a shuddering breath. “Thanks, Trent.”

“Any time.”

~

Eddie made a huge show of apologizing to Steve about how he flounced off when he should have been more attentive.

Steve laughed. “Eddie, I’m a neurotic mess and you’re human. I’ll okay. I promise.”

The smile that he got in return was blinding. Yeah, okay. He really wanted to kiss those lips. But he was going to wait until after his first meet.

Which was in only twenty minutes.

“Go on!” Steve huffed, shooing the menace away. “You’ll be late and I will not have that over my head.”

Eddie raced off as he shook his head fondly.

“You always did have terrible taste,” Robin said dryly.

Steve pushed her playfully. “Yeah, sure. This coming from Miss ‘Tammy Thompson Doesn’t Sing That Bad’, I don’t believe my taste is any worse than yours.”

Robin cocked her head to the side and then shrugged. “Yeah all right, that’s fair.”

Steve started tapping Robin’s arm. She turned to growl at him, but he pointed at the doors that would lead to the pool.

“What’s Chrissy Cunningham doing lurking outside the pool?” she asked with a frown.

“That’s what I intend to find out,” Steve growled, stalking over to her.

When she saw him coming she let out a startled yelp. That brought Steve up short. She turned to them slowly, like a deer in the headlights.

He leveled Chrissy with his best stern authority glare that he patented with his youth swimming classes. She wilted.

“I need to tell you something,” she said, nervously twisting her fingers together. She looked over at Robin and then blushed. “We’ll need to hurry though.”

She turned on her heel and dashed in the direction of the judges.

“Wait!” Robin cried out as Steve and she hurried after her. “Where are we going?”

Chrissy whirled around and still walking backward said, “The judges need to know that Jason is planting more drugs in Eddie’s locker right now.”

Robin and Steve looked at each other in shock.

“Shit!” they said together and hurried to catch up.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @gloomysoup

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @eriquin

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

9- @chameleonhair @sadisticaltarts @dreamercec @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @mac-attack19

10- @aol19 @tartarusknight @morallyundefined

[rom-e-o]

Belisma/Guinevere watching Emmerich interact with small children as they're out and about in public.

Maybe they're standing in line somewhere and there's a parent in front of them with a toddler and the little tyke is just staring intently at Emmerich and he just gives a little smile and wave. Or maybe makes a funny face. And the toddler just breaks into a grin and giggles in the cutest way.

Maybe they're out doing errands and come across a lost little boy, so scared and crying and not sure where his mum/dad is, so they "go on a side-quest" (lol) to reunite him with Mum/Dad. And Emmerich carries him, first in his arms, then transitioning him up to his shoulders. And he and the boy are chatting the entire time, the child's tears and fear completely forgotten. The little boy laughs in delight and marvels at how high up he is on Emmerich's shoulders.

Maybe they're on a date, getting some ice cream and a little girl starts crying because she dropped her cone on the floor. So Emmerich steps over to Mum/Dad who already looks completely strung out and has a brief exchange before ordering another cone exactly like what the little girl had and gets down to her height to offer it, having a quiet little conversation that makes the little girl smile and giggle as she takes her new ice cream.

Maybe on a stroll they come across some children. One of them is seated on the ground, obviously in pain, holding a wrist or ankle or something and is in obvious distress the others are all freaking out trying to figure out what to do. Here comes SuperEmmerich (or maybe AwesomeEmmrich because Superman is probably Awesomeguy in the au😅) to the rescue sweeping in to ask what happened. The other kids probably scram because they don't want to get in trouble. After discovering the injury isn't very serious just quite painful, Emmerich heals the child, all while speaking soothingly and drying their tears. Then he and Isma/G'iney safely escort the child home.

Maybe they're in a waiting room somewhere and there's a little girl there who is clearly quite bored and getting fussy. Emmerich can't help but start performing some of his prettier magic spells for her entertainment. Before long the tyke is laughing and clapping, completely entertained and demanding further pretty magic: "Again! More! More!"

Every interaction he has with little ones, whatever it is, is just so natural and sincere and gentle and kind. Wifey is just slathering him with tender kisses at the end of the day, praising him and admiring him for his golden heart.

Awww. Okay, firstly, I love this. Also, it gives me a reason to wax poetic about this side of him, haha.

So, we see Emmrich being a nurturing, kind presence, even in the face of calamity. Specifically, helping unite a child with their parent. We see him act that way with little Mila as they search for her father as literal hoards of darkspawn attack.

The Siege of Weißhaupt, where this happens, is a grueling battle. It's an endurance test of waaaaves of enemies.

Your team gets tested.

Yet, even as the team talks about the hopelessness and comes to terms with the fact that this might be their last stand, Emmrich still speaks to Mila calmly and reassuringly. He also asks her good questions and listens to her answers.

He reassures her that her father is okay, and to keep going. He's a calming influence.

And she's reunited with her father. All is well!

So, I can totally see him being a sweet and caring guy that puts kids at ease. He knows that a friendly wave or a kind gesture goes a long way, especially for an innocent soul. He has some experience with those early days with Manfred too - cleaning up messes, helping him walk, etc.

I LOVE him replacing the ice cream cone for the child that dropped theirs ("It's such a simple gesture, but it makes everyone feel better") and him performing simple magic for the child in the waiting room as well ("You learn to never take it for granted. What's mundane to you is extraordinary to another.")

He's such a nice, sweet guy, and very patient. It makes sense why he could rear Manfred the way he does - he very much treats him like his child. He uses a guiding hand and is always patient. If he scolds Manfred, it's pretty gently.

Belisma/Guinevere sees all these instances, at it just exemplifies what they love about him. He's an intelligent, esteemed man of wealth and status, yet he'll stop everything to brighten a child's day. He's never too good for anything, and he's never patronizing or condescending to them either.

"No wonder Manfred is such a fine gentleman already," she says after giving him a long smooch, "Look at his example."

"Oh, you mean today? My dear, nothing I did was admirable. Just being a good samaritan, as we all should."

"I think it was. I think I loved watching you be so gentle and caring with those children ... fatherly, even. You're a good role model."

"F-Fatherly? I don't think ...do you really think so? Maybe?"

"Oh, definitely." <3

Wifey's already imagining him cradling their baby a few years out, and it's the most easy image in the world to conjure.

[when-jaguars-are-sick]

Ahhhhh, yes!!! They're finally together! And they're adorable, and such idiots in the best way possible!

That felt as classically *them* as possible, dramatic, and idiotic, and insanely sweet.

Word, girl, you have no idea how badly I NEED Oliver and Isaac to get togetherrrr😭 They're too cute!!!!!

Well. . . the time is here at last.😉❤️

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The college’s arts programs were hosting a formal gala. It was a big night for Spirit, Eliana, and Amberlynn. And even Felix, who Oliver remembered was a fashion major.

Spirit’s culinary arts professor put her in charge of the catering, dubbing her as the head chef for the night. But until 9:45, when the kitchen would finally close and she could enjoy the event with her friends, she was stuck in an apron.

But she would be giving a short speech. El would be one of the students thanked for donating art to be presented at the event, Amberlynn would be doing a monologue she wrote herself, and Felix would be one of the fashion students modeling their own original designs.

The night had started off great for Oliver. He’d never been big on parties, but he’d actually been excited for this event. He’d put on a nice soft-grey suit with a little silver owl-shaped pin, and he felt like he looked good. He wanted to look good. But after twenty minutes at the party, that confidence started to fade.

He was leaning against a wall, occasionally glancing in his best friend’s direction. Across the room, some girl Oliver didn’t recognize was talking—Oliver would say ‘flirting’—with Isaac. And Oliver saw Isaac flirting back. His stomach twisted every time the pretty girl made his best friend laugh. He felt self-conscious for some reason. Maybe even a little sick to his stomach.

“Hey, you alright?”

Oliver snapped out of his own mind and looked to his side and up. Way up. No matter how many times he saw the guy, he’d never get over the fact that Aiden was a freaking giant! Spirit was lucky she was also pretty tall. Otherwise, kissing would’ve been a full back workout for both of them.

“Y-yeah,” Oliver said. He didn’t sound like he was alright though. But he cleared his throat and forced on a smile. “What about you? How much longer till Spirit’s out?”

Aiden sighed and chuckled. “An hour. And that’s not including the extra ten minutes she’s going to spend cleaning herself up and putting on her dress.”

It was Oliver’s turn to chuckle. “Wow. Spirit in a dress. I haven’t seen her wear a dress since 9th grade.”

Aiden’s eyes widened. “Seriously?!”

“Yeah,” Oliver chuckled. “Homecoming. It was black and gothic because she was kinda obsessed with The Adams Family at the time.”

Oliver looked away from Aiden, just for a moment, but his eye caught sight of that girl putting a hand on Isaac’s arm. Oliver didn’t know how the sight was making him feel. Sad? Angry? Why did he feel that way?

Aiden followed Oliver’s gaze and he saw what he saw. His smile became softer with realization. “You should talk to him,” he said.

Oliver looked at Aiden, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Isaac,” Aiden said. “Go talk to him. It’s clear you want to, and this whole stalking thing is going to get creepy sooner or later if you continue it for too long.”

Oliver frowned and shook his head, turning so his back was to Isaac and the girl. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He started to walk away, and Aiden didn’t follow him, getting the message that Oliver didn’t wanna talk about it.

Suddenly, the gala started to feel like every other college party. The music was loud, there were too many people, and he felt overwhelmed now that he’d abandoned his corner of the room.

He made his way to the front of the building to the coat checkout. He’d been there long enough, and he could apologize to his friends later for not staying longer to see their big moments.

While he waited for his coat, he suddenly tensed when he heard Isaac call his name.

“Hey,” Isaac said, smiling that perfect smile that always made Oliver’s stomach flutter. “Where’re you going? Leaving already?”

Oliver nodded, but refused to look Isaac in the eye.

Isaac frowned a bit. “You alright?”

Again, Oliver just nodded. Finally, he got his coat, and he shrugged it on, mumbling a quiet goodbye before turning his back to Isaac and walking out of the building. Isaac, confused, followed him.

“Olive, wait,” Isaac said as he followed Oliver into the parking lot. “What’s going on? Are you upset about something? What’s wrong?”

Oliver swallowed, his throat bobbing. “Nothing,” he lied. “I’m just not feeling well,” he said, lying again.

“Oh,” Isaac said. “Well, are you well enough to drive? You want me to drive you—”

“Shouldn’t you get back to that girl?” Oliver’s voice came out bitterly.

Now Isaac was 100% confused. “What?”

“You know,” Oliver said, stopping in the middle of the parking lot to look at Isaac. “Tiny, pretty, brown hair, little silver dress. . . that girl.”

Isaac still looked confused for a moment. “Amy?” he asked.

“If that’s the name of your new girlfriend, then yeah.” The words came out more pissed than Oliver intended them to. After all, it’s not like he hadn’t seen Isaac’s girlfriends in the past. He didn’t know why it was bugging him so much this time.

Isaac still looked confused. “What are you talking about? Amy’s not my girlfriend, she’s my friend from class. I’ve told you about her before. She’s the friend who I told about who wears a neck pillow in lectures so she can take naps in the back.”

Oliver vaguely remembered Isaac mentioning her once or twice. “Well, still, why don’t you get back to her now. She may not be your girlfriend now, but hey, the night’s young.”

“I— Olive. . .“ What’s going on, Isaac wondered. Why is he so mad? “Amy and I are just friends. And even if I was dating her, what’s wrong with that?”

Oliver had no idea what to say. He blurted the first thing that came to mind. “She’s not good enough for you!”

“You haven’t met her!” Now Isaac was starting to feel irritated. “Jeez, Oliver, what’s your deal?!”

“Nothing,” Oliver said angrily, taking a step towards Isaac. “You can date whoever the hell you want. I don’t give a crap!”

“I’m not dating Amy! Jeez,” he paused to run a frustrated hand down his face, “how the hell did we get in a fight?!”

“Just leave me alone,” Oliver said, about to turn and walk away, but Isaac grabbed his arm. “Let me go!” Oliver yelled.

“Not until you tell me why the hell you’re so fucking upset!”

For a second, Oliver did nothing but look into Isaac’s hazel eyes. Then, in the blink of an eye, he grabbed one of Isaac’s lapels on his suit and pulled him in for a kiss.

Isaac was stiff as a board, completely shocked. As soon as Oliver’s lips touched his, his eyes closed on instinct. It took a second for them to flutter open again after Oliver pulled away.

Oliver had no idea what he’d done. Actually, yes, he did. He’d just kissed his straight best friend!

He pulled away so suddenly that Isaac lost his hold on his arm. “I-I’m sorry,” Oliver mumbled quietly, eyes wide. “I’m so sorry; I don’t know. . . I mean, that was just. . . I’m sorry, Isaac.”

Isaac opened his mouth, but Oliver was already running away.

Oliver heard Isaac call his name, but he just kept running. He ran out of the parking lot. He ran down a couple of blocks. He stopped when he felt like his legs were about to fall off.

He was crying, and he didn’t know when he started. He’d gotten a ride to the event from Jordan, so he’d just text her that he left early.

He cried on the sidewalk of the empty street for what felt like forever.

And when he was finally out of tears, he called an Uber to take him home so he could cry some more in his own bed.

— — —

Isaac couldn’t stop touching his fingers to his lips.

What. The hell. Just. Happened?

“Hey!”

Isaac turned around and saw Spirit walking towards him. “What’re you doing out here?” she asked. She was wearing a snug black and dark-red dress that he knew she had to be suffering in.

Isaac cleared his throat, trying not to look over his shoulder in the direction Oliver ran off. “Just. . . nothing.”

Spirit narrowed her eyes suspiciously. She stepped closer to him and touched one of his cheeks with her knuckles. “You’re all warm and flushed. Are you sick?”

Isaac scoffed and shoved her hand away. “No I just. . .” I was randomly kissed by my best friend. “I accidentally ate something really spicy in there,” he said, and Spirit smirked and laughed.

“Weakling,” she teased, punching him in the shoulder. “C’mon, let’s go inside. I got out of the kitchens early, so I’m gonna sneak in and scare the shit out of Aiden.”

— — —

Aiden was completely entranced by Spirit in her snug dress all night, and Jordan kept teasing him every time she caught him staring at Spirit’s ass.

Felix and Atticus had snuck off a while ago. Eliana, Amberlynn, and Keiko were all chatting together the whole night, and Isaac had gone back to talking with Amy. The two laughed together while munching on bite-sized fancy chocolate cheesecakes.

“I swear, our professor—a psychiatry professor—needs a therapist because there is something soooooo wrong with him,” Amy said, making Isaac snicker. Both he and her had gotten pleasantly tipsy on champagne.

“Ironic, isn’t it?” he said. “Remember when he drank an entire water bottle full of NyQuil at a lecture because of a cold?”

“Oh my God, yes! He was so freaking high!”

Isaac and Amy both laughed before her phone dinged, and she pulled it out of her pocket. She smirked crookedly and pocketed her phone again. “Sorry, I have to go. My girlfriend is picking me up and taking me out. I’ll see you in class, Isaac!”

“Bye,” he said, waving to her as she walked away. As she left, he noticed the lesbian flag tattooed on the back of her bare shoulder.

With his friend gone, he suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about Oliver. Once again, he touched his fingers to his lips. His heart leaped as he remembered the kiss.

Oliver kissed me, he thought.

Oliver kissed me.

His heart was racing and his lips tingled. His gut twisted and he decided what he was going to do now.

Quickly, he said his goodbyes to all of his friends, saying he had a research paper to finish. Then he left, got his car, and drove to Oliver’s apartment.

— — —

Oliver was curled up in his bed. He discarded his fancy clothing, feeling as though his suit was suffocating him. He’d put on sweats and a pajama shirt and started to sob uncontrollably as soon as he’d hid under the covers, trying to hide from the world.

He didn’t want to call anyone. Actually, he only wanted to call Isaac, but he couldn’t since Isaac was the reason he was crying.

Angrily, Oliver wiped at his tears until his eyes were red and sore and swollen. He hated that he cried so much.

He heard the soft patter of tiny paws from somewhere in his room. After a minute, his dog—a fluffy golden-brown mini poodle he’d named Dumbledor—hopped on his bed and curled up near him. He calmed down a little, comforted by the presence of his sweet dog.

Oliver’s tears had mostly dried, and he was sniffing horribly when he heard impatient knocking from his front door.

He tensed. He didn’t want to open it, so he stayed silent and pretended he wasn’t home.

More knocking. Louder this time.

With a sigh, Oliver stood from his bed, grabbing a tissue from his bedside table and blowing his nose before walking towards the front door to tell whoever was there to go away.

As soon as he opened the door, he cursed himself for not even thinking it would be his best friend whose friendship he probably just lost.

Ashamed, he hung his head and apologized.

“I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten mad at you just because I was jealous, and I really shouldn’t have kissed you. I’m so so so sorry, Isaac.”

Isaac was silent. Too silent.

Oliver looked up at Isaac, expecting a frown but all he met was a soft smile. “I don’t like Amy, she’s not my type. And even if she was, she’s a lesbian and has a girlfriend.”

Oliver felt an embarrassed flush creep across his face. “Oh,” he said quietly.

“And also, why didn’t you just tell me that you liked me?”

A deeper blush spread on his face. “Well, you’re not even into guys. And things would’ve become awkward if I told you. And even if you weren’t straight and we did somehow end up together, I know I’d probably screw up and do something to ruin us, but you and I would never end up together because, well, you’re straight. I mean, you are straight—right? I mean, you’ve never told me, so I have no idea, but you’ve only ever had girlfriends before, so I don’t—”

“Olive, hush,” Isaac interrupted, stopping Oliver’s rambling. He put his hands on Oliver’s shoulders and looked the black-haired boy in the eyes. “First of all, I’m not straight, I’m bi. And I honestly can’t believe I’ve never told you that. I thought you knew. Secondly, dating won’t ruin our friendship, because I won’t ever let that happen. And you won’t do anything wrong.”

The words took a second to register in Oliver’s brain. He realized that Isaac said “won’t” instead of “wouldn’t”. When the words did click, he asked, “What?”

Suddenly, Isaac bent down and kissed him. It was a sweet kiss, long and loving. Oliver kissed back on instinct, and Isaac’s hand cupped the back of his neck, pulling him closer.

Oliver felt fireworks going off in his brain and heart, making him forget everything except for this moment and the feeling of Isaac’s lips which tasted like fancy champagne and chocolate.

Oliver could barely remember how to breathe when Isaac pulled back. The blonde was smiling like crazy. “Wanna get dinner tomorrow night?” he asked, and since Oliver couldn’t remember what the hell words and sentences were, he just nodded.

Isaac smirked and pecked Oliver on the cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said. “By the way, you looked good in that suit tonight.” He turned and left, disappearing down the hallway.

Oliver stood where he was, frozen. Suddenly, he smiled. When he backed into his apartment and shut the door, he felt Dumbledor nuzzle against his pants and he picked up the little dog, smiling and hugging the fuzzy creature close to his chest.

“He likes me,” he whispered to the dog, a giddy look on his face like a lovesick teen girl. “He really freaking likes me!”

[formylovetodaryldixon]

"For life." Daryl Dixon Imagine.

(Not my gifs)

Daryl tells his daughter about the day she was born (And she asks him an awkward question)

A/N: Just a continuation of my first imagine with dad!Daryl. My everything. I don't know why but I always imagined his daughter as Lexi Rabe, Iron Man's daughter, (I took a scene too, sorry hehe) but as always, you can imagine her differently. Thanks for the love my imagines are receiving! I had so much fun writing this so i hope you like it♥

“Shit…” Daryl whispers, and the group around him sinks into silence.

The few present, some members of his family, including his wife, stare at the map on the dining room table, plotting in their minds what was the best option to attack Negan’s clan before he attacks Alexandria again, before he puts at risk the lives of the innocents who had been caught in the crossfire.

But the silence is broken by a small voice, as sweet as honey since she learned to speak.

“Shit.”

They all turn to the staircase behind them, especially Daryl, who could recognize his daughter’s voice among a sea of ​​murmurs, even if they were louder than her small voice. Daryl had a good memory, and he had memorized her voice since Marley said her first word, which, to his delight, was daddy. But now Marley Rose Dixon is 4 years old already, and although her bag of words as he used to call it was still limited, she had learned to memorize a lot of things at her young age.

Daryl walks over to her, who is sitting on the bottom step, wearing her pajamas with little baby elephant prints on them, and he lifts her up in his arms, enveloping her in his warmth. For her part, Marley hugs his neck, and she smiles back at him, a little sleepily because it is already past midnight.

“What are ya doin' up, youn' lady? It’s late and ya should be sleepin'.”

“Shit.” She repeats, laughing, just to make him uncomfortable, although she didn’t know she was actually doing it.

You chuckle, as do Rick, Michonne, and the others.

“No, angel, it ain't 'kay to say that word.” Daryl scolds her, softly as he uses one hand to push some strands of her brown hair out of her face. “That word belongs to mommy, so only she can say it.”

Marley frowns, tilting her head to look at him with her deep blue eyes and an accusatory expression.

“But you said it, daddy.”

He clears his throat before answering.

“Yeah, but only 'cause Mommy lends it to me sometimes, right, Mommy?” Daryl glances in your direction, and when everyone turns their gazes to you, the weight falls on your shoulders, so you just nod with a solemn expression. “See? Now we’re gonna take ya back to yer room, 'kay?”

Marley hugs his neck closer, their noses touching, making Daryl smile.

“But can you tell me a story?”

Before you or Daryl can speak, though, Rick ends the meeting. Everyone retreats to their own homes, kissing Marley on the cheek or stroking her hair on their way out, and when the three of you are alone again, you all head up the stairs to her room.

Once there, Daryl sets Marley down on her bed, tucking her into her blanket as you grab a book from her shelf. There weren’t many children’s books in that new world, so the two of you had started reading Marley books about wild animals, exotic flowers, and more.

He lays down next to her on the blanket, their heads touching on the pillow as you hand him a book. But Daryl skims through it first, frowning as he looks back at you.

“What? No pictures this time?”

“Borin’!” Marley replies, mimicking her father’s expression.

Her words make you let out a deep breath, but you chuckle too, just because even though you had given birth to her, she looks more like her father than you.

“Oh no. Look what we did. We created a little Daryl Dixon. As if we didn’t have enough with the one we already have at home.” Shaking your head, you walk out of the room, hearing your husband’s voice behind you.

“I’m so proud of the daughter I raised!”

You hear the laugh in his deep voice, but before Daryl can open the book, Marley gently pushes it away.

“Daddy, tell me one of your stories.”

He settles down on the bed, looking into her eyes that were just like his own. Daryl could get lost in the depths of her blue eyes, all day, all night, or all his life: it was like that from the first time he saw her anyways.

“Did Mommy tell ya about the day ya were born?”

She shakes her head.

“Well, we were waitin' for ya for several months now, but ya were two weeks early. It seems that Mommy’s belly wasn’t very comfortable anymore. That night, Daddy had gotten to the gates after a run when Aunt Maggie told me that Mommy was ready to give birth, and when I got to our room, she was very, very scared. So I sat behind 'er on the bed and told 'er how brave she was, that she jus' needed to endure the pain a little longer to meet our baby.”

Daryl smiles slightly at the memory despite the fear he felt, because there was always a chance of losing his wife or his daughter, and Marley looks at him curiously.

“Were you scared?”

Daryl chuckles, stopping himself from saying shit again.

“Terrified, angel. Daddy couldn’t do anythin’ to stop Mommy from havin’ that pain, but we both know how strong Mommy is, and I knew she could do it. Ya took a long time to be born, but in the end, yer cry was the most beautiful sound I ever heard. Ya were healthy, and that was all yer mommy and I asked of life. Then the doctor put ya on mommy’s chest, and suddenly ya stopped cryin' when ya looked into 'er eyes.”

“How did I look at Mommy?”

Daryl smiles, bringing a hand up to Marley’s face to caress her cheek.

“Ya looked at each other like ya’d known each other forever.”

“And how did I look at you?”

Marley chuckles as he leans closer to her, so close that he can rub his nose against his daughter’s, hearing that sweet sound he’s memorized as well.

“Ya looked at me like ya were goin' to love me yer whole life.”

Marley smiles.

“But I love you, Daddy.”

“For life?”

She nods quickly.

“For life.”

For Daryl, who was never given a touch of affection, he knows well that he would give his life for his daughter, because she had loved him long before she knew what love was. But she grew up surrounded by it, by her family, by her mother, and most of all by him, who always knew how to love despite not having been loved when he was a child.

And it is easy for him to say the words that he never received.

“Daddy loves ya, Marley, with all his heart.”

She smiles, kissing his nose before wrapping an arm around his neck.

“I love you too, daddy, with all my heart.”

“That’s good to know, ma little angel.” Daryl caresses her cheek one more time before pulling away from her, getting up to tuck her in before leaving. “Ya must sleep now, sweetheart. It’s late.”

“Daddy?” Just as he adjusts her blanket for the last time, he stops. “Can I have a pet?”

Daryl thinks for a moment: it’s been a while since anyone had seen a pet.

“How about a fish? Daddy can take ya fishin' and we can come home with a pet fish.”

Marley wrinkles her nose.

“I don’t want a fish. You can’t take them for walks.”

He chuckles.

“And what animal would ya like?”

“An elephant!”

Daryl can’t help it, he frowns at her, head cocked to the side.

“What’s that word Mommy always uses when I get obsessed with somethin'?”

“Fixation.” She laughs, finding the word before her dad does.

Daryl chuckles.

“Ya really got a thin' for elephants, angel.” He leans down to kiss her forehead before leaving, but on his way to the door, her voice stops him again. “Yeah?”

“And how did I get into mommy’s belly?”

Daryl chokes on his own breath: but he would rather face 100 walkers than explain to his daughter how a baby was made.

“What?”

“You said I was in mommy’s belly.” Marley cocks her head, an action she learned from him. “How did I get there?”

“Well…” Daryl frowns in a thoughtful expression, because Merle had told him about it when he was a kid, but in a very grotesque way. “Daddy will try to get ya an elephant, I make no promises, but I'll try, 'kay?”

Marley smiles.

“Okay.”

Daryl can feel the relief as he closes her door, but he knows that sooner or later, she’ll ask again. When he gets to his own room, he can see you standing in front of the window, staring out at the cold world, but at least inside his home, it was always warm. Like a good hunter, Daryl comes to you quietly, wrapping you in his arms, his face hidden in your neck, his warm breath tickling you.

“How did yer parents tell ya how a baby is made?”

You laugh.

“What?”

“Marley asked me how she got into mommy’s belly.” Daryl lifts his head, meeting your amused gaze. “Merle told me when I was 6, and I ain't repeating the words he used to ma daughter.”

You shrug, agreeing with him.

“I met him, so I can imagine his words. I was never told that babies are delivered by the stork or anything like that. But, we already talked to Marley about calling her private parts by their names, so we can start there.”

Daryl growls.

“I’ll be there but, could ya do it? I ain't ready to teach ma baby how to make a baby.”

You laugh.

“Fine, I’ll do the talking. Although now that I think about it, my brother once told me that he was explained it when my mom was pregnant with me, so it was easier for them and him.” When you look back at him, Daryl is looking at you with an amused smile, the one he used before asking you if you wanted to make love. “I’m not saying we have another baby! So keep your hands off me.” You pull away from him a little, looking at him with a serious expression. “Before you say it, no. No, no, no, and definitely not. And if that wasn't clear to you, hell no.”

Daryl shoves his hands into his pants pockets, smiling like a child.

“I jus' think maybe it’s the right time to give Marley a little brother or sister.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“Oh yeah? Are you planning on giving birth to that baby?” You ask, but when he shakes his head, you narrow your eyes. “Then think twice, Dixon. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go to sleep. And if you dare lay a finger on me, I’m going to bite it. I’m not kidding.”

The moment you turn your back at him, however, Daryl has you in his arms, kissing the arch of your neck before you can ask him to let you go.

[blackberrysummerblog]

Wow, it feels like FOREVER since I posted anything. Thanks so much for the tags today @roomwithanopenfire, @meanjeansjeans, @monbons, @orange-peony, @nausikaaa, and @forabeatofadrum. And thank you so much to everyone else who’s been tagging me! I really do appreciate you all <3 It’s nice to see so many people creating! I’ve been feeling supremely UNcreative the past few weeks, but these things come and go, especially when life gets busy.

I do have some things to share! Here’s a snippet from one:

“We can send it to Oxford if you don’t want it in the flat, love,” Baz tells me as I sit on the bed and stare at the floor. He sits beside me and nudges my shoulder with his. “I can hide it away so well that you never have to lay eyes on it again.”

I let my head flop over so that it rests beneath his jaw. “Yeah, maybe.” A little snort escapes me as I grab hold of that thought. “Your dad’ll lose his rag if he finds out it’s there, imagine.”

And another:

Simon is cute, I suppose, in an apple-cheeked hero-who-saves-the-day sort of way. He’s gotten taller this year, although we’re still about the same height. You can see he was made to be broad, and he’s put on a lot of muscle. His skin and hair are nearly the same colour—a literal golden boy. Simon looks like what everyone expects for me. My magic isn’t particularly exceptional, and neither are my grades, but I’m pleasant to look at and refined—I have better manners than to be wearing shoes on the bed and letting my skirt ride up over my knickers, like Philippa is doing right now. I’m the sort of girl people expect to see on Simon’s arm. The sort of girl who will raise his perfect children.

A different one:

“Please,” I whimper. It sounds pathetic, but his smile is like the sun bursting out from behind a cloud. We kiss for what feels like hours; I’ve learned that he likes to treat making out like a mission, one whose mysteries he has to unlock and pry loose to succeed. He likes when I tell him what to do, and when I praise him for getting it right. The day I found out what ‘good boy’ could do for him was a very, very interesting one indeed. And most of all, his name. I’ll never tell him that I deliberately hold back calling him Simon lest it lose its power. “Simon,” I whisper now, with his hands on my waist, his mouth latched on my throat. “Good boy, Simon.”

And finally:

Dev’s makeup is more dramatic than mine, but I have to admit that bright colours suit him. His searing red lipstick is somewhat unfortunately applied however, having been slicked on well after getting in his cups. He still looks brilliant, full of life. A deep, abiding warmth settles into my gut as I watch my little family—it feels good to be together like this again. Dev’s free spirit is catching, and I move behind the kitchen door to pull the silver dress on, much to Fiona and Ebb’s delight.

I hope everyone has a great week, and if you’re planning to celebrate Thanksgiving, have safe travels and good times with friends and family <3

No pressure tags: @rimeswithpurple @valeffelees @best--dress @stardustasincocaine @bookish-bogwitch @facewithoutheart @c0nsumemy5oul @jasonfunderberkerthefrogexists @tender-ministrations @basiltonbutliketheherb @ghostpepperworld @larkral @artsyunderstudy @letraspal @cows4247 @fiend-for-culture @palimpsessed @thewholelemon @hushed-chorus @shrekgogurt @raenestee @cutestkilla @mooncello @imagineacoolusername @youarenevertooold @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @iamamythologicalcreature @beastmonstertitan @ic3-que3n @supercutedinosaurs @stitchy-queerista @alexalexinii @asocialpessimist @shutup-andletme-go @prettygoododds @ivelovedhimthroughworse @j-nipper-95 @wellbelesbian

[starleska]

Are you gonna give us that Jack Frost/Reader we know you wanna write?? 😆

oh god yes yes YES PLEASE I WOULD LOVE TO 😳💖 there is an absolutely tragic lack of x Reader fanworks for this man, which is devastating given how much he craves attention...i think he needs a little love to warm him right up 😉

Jack Frost x Reader headcanons 💙❄️

❄️ when You first meet Jack, he flatters You like you're the only person in the world who matters. he presses earnest kisses to the backs of your palms and showers You with compliments. you're taken in by his glittering smile, and the ease with which Jack makes You feel ever so special. but with time, You notice Jack's long game. there's a shallow affect behind those attentive eyes which clues You in; he's not only always watching You for any glimmer of approval, but watching everyone else too, all of the time. every phrase is perfectly engineered to give him the response he wants, and what he wants is attention. so, You decide to turn the tables on him. You make it your life's goal to make Jack Frost melt. ❄️ when You confront Jack on his scheming behaviour, his persona cracks like ice. his smile drops instantly and he takes on a mocking, scathing tone. "You think you've figured it all out?" he scoffs. "Please. Your gullibility would give the April Fool a field day. Why don't you scootle along now, before you get yourself hurt?" but You see it: the hurt flickering behind those frost-blue eyes. You step closer to him, and don't miss the way he flinches. "Aren't you tired of all this, Jack?" You ask quietly. "Always calculating. Always trying to get on top. You're trying so hard to make people like you...you can't see it when they actually do." Jack's hands are ice-cold when You slip your fingers through his own. he blusters in protest, tripping over his words as he tries to formulate a witty retort...but a light dusting of pink blooms along his cheekbones.

❄️ sincere affection is a foreign notion to Jack, and he skitters around it like a deer on a frozen lake. years of hypervigilance and rejection have him distrustful of your motivations, even when You speak your mind. "Surely this is some elaborate trick," Jack tells You once afternoon, when the pair of you are bundled up together under one ultra-long, snowflake-patterned scarf. "I'm still waiting for the big reveal, and I'm sure it'll be a showstopper." yet you're used to the pitfalls of Jack's paranoid mind, and You ask him, "What if the big reveal is that I think you look really cute when you're flustered?" without waiting for an answer, You capture his lips in a kiss. Jack is immediately reactive and whines softly into you, but You slide your arms over his shoulders and lock your fingers behind his back: reassuring him. keeping him safe. telling him it's okay to be vulnerable here. ❄️ nothing could have prepared you for what Jack's real love looks like. remarkably, Jack is restrained when he's being insincere: the actual depths of adoration he has for You are astonishing. he's physically clingy: always having a hand rest on your shoulder, or brushing his thigh against yours under the table. when you're alone he loves to envelop You, whether that's by drawing You in for an impromptu hug or falling asleep cuddling You like you're a teddy bear. his kisses (frequent and soft) leave small trails of ice crystals along your bare skin, and he always grins when You shiver. "Oh dear, are you cold, darling?" Jack asks with a wink. "It would appear my efforts to warm you up have been in vain. However...there's no harm if I keep trying, is there~?" ❄️ although he's freezing cold in the extremities, Jack isn't frozen all the way through. a gentle warmth exudes from Jack's chest, and You often spend your evenings intertwined with your head resting there, listening to the curious flutter of his trapped, searing heart. You murmur gentle words of affirmation into his neck, and delight in how he keens beneath You. when You look up at him, You adore the way his eyes sparkle. Jack is beautiful in the way only a snowflake can be: wholly unique, with hidden complexities even a lifetime wouldn't allow You to observe. Jack is wonderful. and Jack is yours.

[clownmiser]

today was a good day!! lil habby got lots of compliments and he had some lovely Bubbled Tea to celebrate his first venture outside ☀️🌈

[egophiliac]

What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333

I didn't get him (and I need to save my keys for Silver's birthday, sob) so I looked up his groovy, and I'm not over how incredibly dramatic and epic and cool it looks in direct contrast to the absolutely ridiculous context. just look at that dynamic action and his majestic sparkling tears and keep in mind that this is pretty much right after a bunch of characters have been dance battling for his soul.

and then even the actual moment of the groovy is just like

this is NOT a negative in the slightest, I love it all, this truly was an incredible update in so many ways

[crispyjenkins]

mandalore the young cont.

original post/discussion here! it was just getting really long and i for one hate scrolling so far, so. here's this. have also added this au to my masterlist in my pinned post!

@malcontent-crow

#i had a whole wall of tags and it didnt save! lets try this again#i am loving this. the potential for world building and the consequences of knowing more than you should (literally)

#i had forgotten that DW wasnt in peoples thoughts as a threat during the Clan Wars#and the idea that Pre was so far underground with the movement is a very good thing to remember as well! #on one hand you have this driven and spirited young verd that is inspiring Clans to start reassessing who they are fighting and why#on the other you have this clanless outsider that knows waaaaay too much about all the potential major players and is saying#that this major threat isnt really as gone as everybody thought and hoped. sith parallels out the wahoo for ppor obi#and hes standing there watching them all argue over his head about this threat that he KNOWS needs to be dealt with#he is seeing himself as pretty on par or above with the Old Guard in terms of mental age or prowess or large scale battles#so he sees them doubt him maybe even to his face and knows he'll need to get things started on his own

#and becauae everything in the galaxay has at least one person watching it from the outside... how quickly does the news of a jedi padawan#going off the rails on this mission get out? whos keeping track and who points fingers at the jedi for attempting to control the outcome#of the war of their historical enemies in their favor? the senate (read sith) want mandalore defanged before their war but what does it look#like the jedi want? how does the council answer for his actions? do they condemn or condone him? do they try to stay out of it?

#the world building potential of the Manda and the Ka'ra is delicious.#what does it mean to be a mando or darmanda? can you walk around and have people look at you and know you have failed in your oaths?

#and ouch! Obi-Wan considering the fact that he has never been allowed to be his own person.#from padawan to knight/master and then a general and councilor and sheesh. hes really never had the chance to see who he is as a person#outside of his responsibilities to everybody around him and right now hes a war worn adult in a war worn teens body#hes always had somebody else there. as a battle companion a teacher a student as somebody to protect and guard and guide#and now he has this entire culture looking at him and waiting for his next move. and im guess it still feels like less than a burden than#the care and raising of an entire child on his own. sure he had the temple resources and other jedi to lean on but anakin always looked to#him first to solve any problem or teach him something new or cuddle him after nightmares as hes trying to hide his own dreams#and grief and flounding to find his footing as an independent adult

#so right now hes looking around at the entire mando population and realizing thats he might need to reshape himself again for somebody else#to make himself what others need and knowing he can and will do it if it means saving somebody else

#and when exactly did he come back from the war? did he have satine die in his arms and see the ruin that is madalore after a pacifist reign?#does he see the potential for that ruin to happen right now if he doesnt succeed? where does he see himself in regards to the jedi?#has he considered the consequences of stepping up to be the Mand'alor to this culture he has never seen as his own?#has he let himself think about the choices he needs to make and how some things you cant always come out the other side the same as before?

(following the trend of each of these getting longer, this has hit just under 5,000 words, so just a heads up lol? so much world building is happening in this one)

sorry you had to rewrite so much! that last exchange was cursed, it seems lmao

it's so easy to write Obi-Wan as prescient, or the route I'm going with in Dha Kar'ta, so i think it's a fun change-up to have him knowledgeable for completely different reasons! I'm actually going to avoid visions almost at all for this Obi, but everyone else certainly won't know the difference, and he doesn't tell them otherwise (though he won't encourage it either. I do actually have a Naruto time travel where Nart pretends to be psychic à la Shawn Spencer, so that isn't the route I wanna go for this Obi). the consequences of knowing too much, indeed

hmmm many of these questions depend on how deep into Jedi and galactic politics I wanna go, and I'm not sure it's very deep at all. or at least, not very dragged out. i'll explain in a mo

SO first: yes, this Obi is from after Satine dies, in 19 BBY, maybe a month or so after, but before the bombing of the Temple so before Ahsoka left the Order. He was back on the front, no time to properly mourn, though he was doing his best, and was meditating on the whole war, but especially the Sith and their hand in everything that happened on Mandalore. It went deeper than Maul, he knew, had been going on longer than Maul and even Dooku, and it occurred to Obi-Wan that the Sith either wanted a Mandalore that will side with them but not be too much a threat, or they wanted them not a threat at all. He realised his hand in that, in helping put the New Mandalorians on the throne that led to the demilitarisation of the entire sector. Obi-Wan had practically teed Mandalore up for Dooku and then Maul's interference, and if the Republic won the war, he could all too easily see them doing another excision. won't get too much into it to save it for the fic, but he is mediating with something beskar, and he gets a lil too deep into the Force, and of course this is post-Mortis so...... 👀

so this Obi-Wan, back in time, is helping Mandalore to prevent any more Sith machinations in the future, to change the future for the whole galaxy, but even before he's Chosen, he realises he's also doing all of this for Mandalore. for his own hand in its destruction, for the Jedi's hand in the Excision, for his personal connection to Satine drawing Maul to it. it's for atonement, for reparation, and also because Mandalore deserves to be saved, and Obi-Wan is in a place he can help do that. it isn't just about the health of the galaxy, anymore.

I usually shy away from having Obi-Wan leave the Order, no matter what AU I'm throwing him in because I believe in the fundamental goodness of the Order and the people in it, and Obi-Wan is fundamentally a Jedi, one of the best, one of the best. however, in this case, I don't think he can have his cake and eat it too. if Dooku had to leave the Order to accept his countship, then Obi-Wan would have to leave to become Mand'alor. Jedi are (supposed to be) politically neutral, and Obi-Wan is all too aware he'd nullified his own neutrality the moment he decided to go for Keldabe to find Jango.

one of my favorite... tropes? in time travel fic is Obi using his future fellow councilmembers' access codes to get into things he shouldn't, and he certainly knows how to work the Order's internal systems in his favor, so he

wait so i was gonna have him go in and tender his resignation from the Order directly into the systems, and backdate it for before the Mandalore mission, so that anything he's done on Mandalore so far cannot be blamed on the Jedi BUT WHAT IF he just. deletes himself. like completely. from admin to the Archives to the crèche's own internal systems to the Shadow's private servers, Obi-Wan Kenobi was never a Jedi, was never a Temple bastard, was never Qui-Gon Jinn's padawan. his mission records are all in Qui-Gon's name now, his medical file simply doesn't exist, his crècheling clan is listed as simply having been a person short compared to other clans that year. he goes so far as to delete comm histories with him or mentioning him, it's like Obi-Wan Kenobi just doesn't exist anymore.

he does this first thing after leaving Jango, he spends the entire week back to Mandalore ensuring he's been completely erased from absolutely anything relating to the Jedi, and then uses his future councilmember knowledge (and lessons from Quinlan) to erase himself from Republic systems, too. any planet he'd helped as a padawan will suddenly have no records of him as having been there with his master, so the senate or Order can't subpoena them for the info, though Obi-Wan knows he can't have gotten everything (such as any planet not in the Republic, or who don't have holonet access to their files, or both, like Melida/Daan), but he figures he's done enough to absolve the Order if anyone comes knocking about what he's doing.

he buries his lightsaber in the deserts of Mandalore, not knowing that in his old future, he'd have done the same on Tatooine.

so as far as the Jedi are aware: Obi-Wan went on a mission with Qui-Gon that (predictably) went to hell, got separated from his master for weeks to months, then suddenly changed, at the same time their Jedi with the highest prescience collapsed due to his visions, which have also changed. Obi-Wan left Qui-Gon behind to hightail it through the Mandalore sector, and Qui-Gon couldn't catch up or find him, and then Obi-Wan disappeared from anyone's radars for two weeks. then Qui-Gon senses him reenter the Mandalore system, right before breaking his training bond with him, and the Order wakes up to Obi-Wan completely erased from their systems like he never existed in the first place. everything is going so so wrong, and yet. and yet.

and yet the Force is telling them all that this is right, that this is the least Dark course of action, that whatever Obi-Wan is doing is indeed the Will of the Force

so the Order mourns one of their own, and tells Qui-Gon to let him go. and then the Order ups their cyber security because what.

i think he leaves an unsigned letter/comm message for a few people. Bant, Quinlan, Mace, Feemor, his old crèchemaster, Yoda, maybe Jocasta Nu. it's short, basically thanking them for their hand in his upbringing (Feemor hasn't even met him before so is very confused by this), apologising for leaving abruptly, but to follow the Will of the Force, he had to leave; the first part of the message is all the same, but ends with little individual notes. he apologises to Madam Nu for fucking with her archives and hopes she can one day forgive him; he asks her to keep her friends close and to mend the tension between her and Dooku, that Obi-Wan should not know about. He tells Yoda that the future is always in motion but they must move with it; he asks Yoda to meditate on his dwindling lineages and learn to accept all that he cannot control. He reminds Quinlan to wear his gloves and asks him to thank Tholme for looking out for him when Qui-Gon wouldn't or didn't; he thanks him for their years together, and asks him to check in on Feemor every now and then. He apologises to Mace for all the shatter-points he likely caused and will continue to cause, and suggests he put a permanent reminder in his comm to remember to refill his migraine prescription that sixteen year-old Obi should not know about. He asks Bant to look out for a young Togruta initiate that will join in seven years, and suggests Bant might like the healer track rather than the knight corps; he thanks her for being his longest and most dearly-held friend. He thanks his crèchemaster for realising his visions were more than dreams (which will inadvertently lend credence to that theory for why Obi-Wan changed so suddenly), for supporting him when Bruck was at his nastiest, and for always being someone he could turn to even after he became a padawan. For Feemor, Obi-Wan apologises that they hadn't had the chance to meet before then, and for the relationship they won't have anymore; Feemor has no idea who this message is from, until he starts hearing the gossip that Obi-Wan Kenobi has left the Order again. He too mourns never getting to know his padawan brother.

and Obi-Wan sends Qui-Gon a message, of course, thanking him for his teachings, apologising for "leading him on" as an apprentice, leaving and coming back so many times only to permanently leave this time. he reminds Qui to reach out to his friends and his support system, asks him to at least consider talking to a mind or soul healer about Xanatos (knowing that once it gets out that Obi-Wan is a planetary leader, it will likely badly trigger Qui-Gon), and asks him to at least try and mend his relationship with Dooku, though understands if that's not something Qui-Gon is willing to do. asks him to keep Satine safe, but to deeply think about why the Republic is so intent on helping her faction, and why Qui-Gon had questioned so little of the New Mandalorian ethos.

so by the time Obi-Wan finds the Old Guard, he's broken from the Order completely, has buried his saber, has broken his training bond, has cut his braid. I think he shaves his head entirely to let it grow out at the same rate, because the padawan cut is *Eliot Spencer voice* Very Distinctive. he paints his armour white for, yes, his men, his vod'e, but also for cin vhetin. he can't be the man he was before, nor the teen he was before, neither are who Mandalore needs, and as long as he can stay true to his morals and upbringing, he will be what Mandalore needs him to be.

okay now onto the Manda vs. the Ka'ra vs. the Force. the Force is a scientific concept of an energy connecting absolutely everything in the universe, and the Jedi have a religious view on the scientific concept. for both purposes, the Force just is. I really like the idea of other non-Jedi ideas just being different aspects of the Force, different religions and cultures based on the same scientific concepts. for Mandalorians, their "aspect" of the Force is the Manda, the collective souls of every Mando'ade that's ever marched on. just what it means to be Mando'ade has varied greatly through history, and is varied between different groups even now, but none of that changes what the Manda is, which is an aspect of the Force only Mando'ade can touch. sort of like their beliefs of it being separate from the Force have made it so?

now I haven't really talked about this before, but from the beginning of me writing Mandalorian related things, i've separated Ka'ra from ka'ra, which was a little bit me misremembering there was another term for "stars", and then it became it's own thing. kar, meaning "star", with it's plural kar'e or kare, to me, means physical stars, the way we'd call our sun a star. ka'ra, uncapitalised, is the more poetic and/or spiritual "stars", the way we might say something is "written in the stars", which actually aligns with how jate'kara is spelled; for my writing, i've used this form for Mandalorian Force-sensitives being Star-touched ka'ra-touched. Ka'ra, capitalised, is that "ruling council of fallen kings", the Mandalorian myth and it, the way I've always interpreted it, is a separate part of the Manda made up of specifically the souls of every Mand'alor already marched on. So, Tor Vizsla could have joined the Manda after death, but not the Ka'ra; make sense? all that ka'ra vs Ka'ra worldbuilding was done very early in my writing for star wars, and has since expanded to include the idea of the Manda as something separate, and I would now actually consider Manda-touched over Star-touched to describe Force sensitive Mando'ade, because that's really what I think Mandalorians would consider causes their supernatural powers: ancestors rather than the stars.

so what does that mean for this fic? the Manda is directly influenced by all those that consider themselves Mandalorian, Force-sensitive or not. it is, however, not affected by New Mandalorians, unless they worship the Manda in some facsimile, and I think many, many, many do not, not the way they were raised to. this worship looks different for every clan and every individual, and I've always interpreted it as more of a broad spiritual practice across the whole culture rather than a religion, per se, the way a real-world broader culture might pray at shrines at New Years even if individuals themselves or their family aren't religious. this is what I'm referencing when I say the Will of the People: the alive Mando'ade and their choices and emotions affecting and influencing the Manda, the collective amalgamation of every passed-on Mando'ade, and it's when these two are in tandem that they "pick" a Mand'alor. HOWEVER, such a pick is also up to the Ka'ra, the Mand'alor'e that have all marched on; to one day enter the Ka'ra themselves, a Mand'alor must be "picked" by both the People/the Manda, and the Ka'ra. Tor would be "picked" by a significant part of the People and the Manda, and so would Jaster have been, but (according to me, myself, and i, obviously), only Jaster had been chosen by the Ka'ra. Pre is "Mand'alor" only in name, only in a tenuous loyalty existing in House Vizsla and Death Watch, not even by the Manda; just simple human (et al) loyalty. Jango had a weaker "pick" from the Manda than Jaster did, but was picked by the Ka'ra, meaning if he did not declare himself dar'manda (even just internally; I don't think he's ever said it out loud), he would have joined the Ka'ra after death; if he ever reconnects with himself as a Mandalorian, I like to think he'd have that chance again. Canon Jango, though, who went on to make the clones? Absolutely not.

what does this all mean for Obi-Wan? he'd spent weeks inadvertently drumming up support in the people and therefore the Manda, and maybe most haven't really looked at him and thought "sure I'd follow him as Mand'alor", but they have looked at him and thought "that one has mandokar, that one wants what's best for Mandalore, that one is touched by destiny". I dunno, man, like. Obi-Wan is their hope before he is their leader. That will make all the difference when he does end up uniting them. His searching out Jango had made Jango finally confront that he feels dar'manda, until then he hadn't really lost the Ka'ra's support, but that severs that connection. and now the Ka'ra are without a Mand'alor, but look at that, there's a mandokar'la little idiot right there, already strong in the Manda, already rallying hope and purpose, already so invested in the nurturing and the future of Mandalore, how could the Ka'ra not choose him?

I posed the question previously whether or not Mando'ade can tell who has been chosen to be Mand'alor, and I think I've ironed out what that'll mean for this fic. non-Force sensitive Mando'ade will have this sense when near their Mand'alor, a subconscious and inherent trust in them, and indeed, some will be disturbed by this and fight it. that's alright, that's their right. Some never clock this extra sense, some are aware of it always, some just chalk it up to "gut feelings" and the like. The more spiritual or religious Mandos maybe put a little more stock in this feelings, I think especially goran'e and other spiritual leaders, but the fact that the Manda can technically pick more than one person at a time (like Tor and Jaster, and then Jango), this extra sense isn't a perfect indicator of a properly chosen Manda'lor.

now. what about Force sensitive Mando'ade? Well, the Manda is an aspect of the Force, and is in fact how said Force sensitive Mando'ade connect to the Force, by going through the Manda, first. their relationship with sensitivity is inherently different from others in the galaxy, at least those that connect to it directly. they are the ones that can sense or see if someone is chosen by the Ka'ra, depending on their sensitivity. Some see the ghostly line of previous Mand'alor'e stretched out behind them (like the Avatar cycle lmao), some see a wavering crown of stars around their head, some just sense there is a duplicity (/neutral) to their Force presence that doesn't exist in anyone else. how common is Force sensitivity in Mandalorian space? not fuckin very. Jaster had three in his entire faction of aprox. 2 million (fanon number), at least that were aware they were sensitive. Jango only had a few more, and only because he had gained a couple hundred thousand more followers before Galidraan. so i'll make the nearly-arbitrary number that Force sensitive Mandos are 1 in 1,000,000, across the entire sector. by some calculations, in the whole galaxy at around the time of the Clone Wars the number of Force sensitives is 1 in 5,000,000 but these calculations do not generally include societies and species with a near or 100% chance of Force sensitivity, because we simply don't have the data for it. does this all make Mandos slightly more likely to be Force sensitive than others, by my own numbers? sorta. which i'm making an issue of underreporting, based on Mandalore not being a part of the Republic, and also contention with the Jedi and Sith; they don't consider those Manda-touched to be Force sensitive, and with the way I've built this, they aren't exactly wrong.

for the purposes of this story, there are maybe eight Manda-touched Mando'ade in the Mandalore system at this time, and all but one are goran'e. that single non-armorer is part of the Old Guard. I have the roster for the Old Guard decided, so I'm debating whether the Manda-touched one is Cort Davin (a journeyman protector), or one of the women. Instinct wants Vhonte Tervho, but I have plans for her to be related to the goran Obi-Wan got his armour done by, who I wanted to be one of the seven Force sensitive armorers, soooo. lmao how fucked would it be if Isabet Reau is the Force sensitive one? I like the angst of that, since I definitely do not plan on redeeming her, but I kind of want the only Old Guard that can sense Obi-Wan is Chosen by the Ka'ra to be really quiet and accepting of it, while everyone else is arguing. hmmm I have an unnamed Wren as part of the Guard, that I haven't fleshed anything out for yet; perhaps them?

okay I think I've solidified what it makes a Mandalorian, at least for the function of this fic. it is tied to the Resol'nare, and following it, which does allow those who had Chosen Tor Vizsla as their Mand'alor to technically still be following the Resol'nare, and are therefore not dar'manda. at least not for that. but part of the reason the Resol'nare is even able to determine who has a Mandalorian soul, is because they believe it does. Those alive and those dead influence the functionality and reality of the Manda, which also allows for those pre-Resol'nare to still exist in the Manda. What causes someone to become dar'manda, if they are technically following the Resol'nare?

maybe it's reductive, or over-simplified, or maybe even too broad, but it makes sense to me and allows for many many different types of people to still fail, and this is obviously not the only way to become dar'manda, but one thing that will always strip someone of their Mando soul? treatment of children. caring for children. not harming children. this allows many of Death Watch to still maintain their Mando souls, but still be fucked up awful people in other ways. It allows even True Mandalorians to have lost their souls and not realised it because they otherwise adhered to the Resol'nare, because they'd chosen to interpret "defending oneself and family" and "raising your children as Mandalorians" to not include other peoeple's children. Or maybe they were abusive in the belief they were caring for their children. This would also make every single one of the Cuy'val Dar dar'manda, which I think is a fascinating concept.

to answer your question directly, no, one cannot look at someone and know they're dar'manda, even the Force/Manda sensitive ones. one will only know in death, whether or not they have a place in the Manda.

NOW what does this mean for New Mandalorians?? well, by technicality and the way I've set the Manda up, one can interpret the Resol'nare in ways that could align with New Mandos. Perhaps they interpret "armour" as more than specifically "beskar'gam", maybe they wear armourweave or other protective fabrics. Maybe they interpret "defending one's family" as putting down arms instead of raising them, in order to create a peaceful future for their children. I think there are plenty of New Mandos that technically tick off all the boxes, and believe in themselves and their fellows so much that the Manda is like "yeah sure why not, we'll make that count". I think some tenants are more easily... bent, like swearing to the duchy in place of the Mand'alor, but I think an easy one New Mandos miss, is "speak Mando'a." I think many New Mandos were all too quick to switch to Basic for everything except religious and spiritual ceremonies, and I think those already in the Manda would find that very hard to forgive. I actually get into this a little in Dha Kar'ta very soon, but for this fic, i'll have Satine not outright outlawing Mando'a, but it is socially heavily discouraged. you're not allowed to speak it in the palace unless in aforementioned ceremonies, you cannot fill out paperwork in anything but Basic, you're not allowed to use Mando'a titles (including Mand'alor), you're not allowed to teach it to your children. no outright like. punishments for speaking it in public, but if your kids are caught, there are repercussions, including investigation into how else you're raising your kids, and if you're found to be doing anything else, they can take your kids from you. not every New Mando agrees with this, of course, and go about adhering to the Resol'nare as best they can in secret, but so many do give up the language by convincing themselves it's not as important as the other tenants and, well, the duchy hasn't steered them all wrong yet, has it?

okay so on the subject of what the outside galaxy is seeing. I like the headcanon/trope/idea of like. the one thing all factions of Mandalorians agreeing on is fuck everyone else. oh, the New Mandos will emulate the Core and the Republic, but they aren't the Republic nor want to be, and this animosity extends to keeping as many internal Mandlorian issues just that: internal. no faction can keep news from leaving the system or the sector, obviously, but there also isn't a lot of interest in Mandalorian news? "oh look all the Mandos are fighting again", except that's been the standard for like. actual thousands of years. I like when fic have people outside the sector not evening knowing there are different factions, so I'll be doing that here, too, and I like the idea of non-Republic sectors having their own holonets, separate from the Republic one. so like, if Obi-Wan happens to go a little viral during his mad dash to Keldabe, that would be on the Mandalorian holonet, not the Republic one, so even if Obi-Wan was visibly still a Jedi (and he wasn't), actual news of him wouldn't reach the Mid and Inner Rims until like. possible years after it happens.

could this maybe be expedited by Sith machinations? absolutely, though I'm not sure I want to go that route, since I don't think the Sith are overmuch interested in Mandalore at this point, at least not in any hands-on capacity. I'm unclear on whether them funding Death Watch is fanon or not, but it is a headcanon I subscribe to, and I think they'd have stopped funding DW after Galidraan, to cause worse infighting and prevent DW from gaining enough power to actually restart their imperial conquering days. Palpatine has been senator for about ten years by this point, but has very little political power overall, and Demask would be looking basically anywhere but Mandalore at this point in time, both of them having written it off until they actively need something from the sector. if anyone had clocked Obi-Wan as a Jedi, this all would have gone very differently, news would have spread much further and quicker and I think undoubtedly would have reached Palpatine, but since I have Obi-Wan just... cutting ties to anything Jedi, news of him remains in-sector. is this perhaps unrealistic? maybe, but I kind of want to focus on Mandalore and not worry about galactic-wide politics for once, lmao, actually very much like Obi-Wan is doing. however, he will clock a lack of Sith interference and thinks That's Very Weird.

haven't decided how he finds Palpatine out yet, but I think it'll have to do with his Manda senses being different than his Force ones, maybe the Ka'ra even gives him a few tips or gifts to sense Sith since they've allied and fought with them so much in the past. regardless, that'll be after he's become Mand'alor and united the clans.

now to actual plot progression! Obi-Wan meets up with the Old Guard, they don't know what to make of him other than "he's kriffing weird. and young. and creepy. and probably Manda-touched." whatever other verd is Manda-touched will see him blessed by the Ka'ra, which causes them to look inwards more closely and realise they trust Obi-Wan inexplicably, which means they're blessed by the Manda and the Will of the People, too. they wonder if Obi-Wan has noticed, if any of the other Old Guard have noticed. they are one of a few that notice Obi-Wan sneaking back out while everyone is arguing.

Vhonte Tervho is another. She's at this lil summit to represent clan Tervho, tho isn't the clan head, because her ba'vodu, a Manda-touched goran, had sensed she needed to be at the summit. said ba'vodu is of course the armorer who reforged Obi-Wan's armour (need to find a name for them hmm), who had told their clan they were to cease fighting until their new Mand'alor called on them. Vhonte sees Obi-Wan, realises at the same time as everyone that he's the Kih'Manda, the Mand'ika that the entire system had been gossiping about for weeks, and she thinks of what her ba'vodu said. she looks inwards, like they had taught her to, and finds, yes, she trusts Obi-Wan, just like she used to trust Jango. And, well, her Mand'alor is obviously leaving to go do something, and she isn't going to let him go it alone.

the Manda-touched verd doesn't go with them, wanting to see what comes of this, but they already know Obi-wan is Ka'ra Chosen. they will come when he calls.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

it doesnt need to be said but its genuinely so funny how at-the-hip charles and erik are in krakoa like they really had the green light- the OBLIGATION- to be as obnoxiously close to each other as possible and abused that right to the fullest extent

[mazojo]

Of all the languages Meme could speak and she chose the truth