#everyone wants gojo to come back from the dead. even if he himself doesn’t want that

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion... but part of me doesn't want Satoru to come back :c the life of a jujutsu sorcerer is full of suffering, pain and sacrifices, Satoru has already done his duty, I just want him to rest in peace with his friends...

YOU . YOU DID THIS TO US …

… /j :33 I DO AGREE W YOU ANON. i think there’s definitely something to be said abt the fact that we all want him back even though there’s a pretty good chance that satoru himself Wants to rest…. that it would make him happiest . to be with suguru. i want him to come back very badly and i want him to be allowed to let go of his burdens as the strongest but honestly … i’m starting to think that was an unrealistic thought 😭😭 either way i need him here . for my mental health .

[madamechrissy]

=͟͟͞♡ Healing Hearts =͟͟͞♡

=͟͟͞♡ Pairings:-Doctor Gojo x Intern F!Reader

=͟͟͞♡ Contents/warnings- MDNI- Warnings- overuse/incorrect use of prescription meds, angsty asf in places, scene of a medical procedure, death of a patient )at the beginning) heavy subject matter, some sexual tension. Reader, 26, Dr. Gojo 34- Grey's vibes ✨️

=͟͟͞♡ Word Count- this chap- 8k

=͟͟͞♡ Summary- You are the top Surgical Doctor intern, along with Maki, Yuta and Toge. You all are exhausted from passing the first month, sixteen plus hour days, days you don't even go home, all to get a top spot with the star Surgeon, Dr. Gojo, your resident doctor and boss. Or as you call him, Dr. Hojo. He's takes nothing serious but his surgeries it seems, and has a reputation for being a player, but he has that top spot, so you want to prove your worth! You just have to ignore those stupid butterflies he gives you, and those pretty blue eyes, along with his interest in you, and focus!

♡ Reblogs and comments appreciated ♡

=͟͟͞♡ Part Five =͟͟͞♡ Playlist =͟͟͞♡ Masterlist

Part Six

Satoru has a morning routine.

Skincare? Well a splash of cold water on his face, he’s been lucky enough to have insane genetics, in his mid thirties he could pass for a college student, not a line on his perfect skin. But that was really all he did, that splash of cold water every morning, as he then starts to take his morning cocktail, after that he makes himself eat something, then brushes his teeth.

After that, he gets ready for the day, and as that Adderall mixes with his morning coffee? Fuck it’s perfection. Then when the Kolonopin hits right along with it, Satoru’s mind is blissfully open, and he’s able to focus on what he does best, saving lives. One doesn’t just become the best doctor there is, no that takes time, precision, and a lot of sacrifice.

Satoru is alone, usually. For a night he had you in here, in his bed and snuggled against him, and fuck he enjoyed it, which terrifies him. It’s been a week since he’s been able to do more than sneak hungry kisses with you in the locker room of the hospital, your schedule is longer than even his as you’re an intern, recently you worked twenty four hours straight.

Fuck he admires you, how even exhausted and dead on your feet, you manage to put a bright smile on your face, he’d love to just take care of you, but you have to go through this to truly become a great doctor. But he finds himself missing you, constantly thinking about you. You’ve become a fixation, a sort of obsession, he wants to know so much more about you.

He wants your body to fall apart under him again, wants to taste your arousal on his tongue, feel you clench around his fingers, watch as your cheeks flush and your hips raise for him. He wants you naked in his bed, but he also knows he’s just not good enough for you, for what you want and need.

But he’s selfish.

It’s almost Christmas, and the snow has piled up as he slides into his warmed up car, thinking of you and your ancient SUV, he hopes you at least have heat. His drive to the hospital is quiet, no music, as he takes another pill, this one is his Xanax, something about Klonopin and Xanax is blissful. Any stress he has gets replaced by a ton of ‘I don’t give any fucks’.

He knows you saw, you haven’t mentioned it though, and tonight he’s supposed to actually get you on this date. He wants time with just you, no other distractions, being inside of you is better than any cocktail of benzos he could dream of. If it was all his life consisted of, maybe he could go without it.

But the real world is just that.

The waiting room is packed, Satoru instantly goes into doctor mode, getting one lady in a wheelchair who’s vomiting blood, and he thanks god for that xanax, to help him through. He thanks god (or medicine rather) for the adderall making him have enough energy to run back and forth like a madman, helping everyone he can.

He helps the med students, the interns, the patients, the doctors on the floor who all come to him. ‘Dr. Gojo’ this ‘Please, Dr. Gojo- a minute’ that. Can you check this patient, can you check this scan, all while he’s got his eyes on his four interns, including the girl consuming him, the girl with exhausted eyes and shoulders that just look too narrow lately.

The girl he makes eat something because she’s been here all night helping a baby after a rough c section. He finds you in the nicu, with your hand inside the incubator, when he holds the coffee and muffin he’s brought you. But he pauses to watch you, as you mesmerize him with your pretty smile, singing something to the itty bitty baby.

“Does that actually help? I’ve heard it does.” Satoru murmurs, you jolt just a bit, looking up at him nervously.

“I think they enjoy the interaction, do you know if baby’s don’t get it they just… won’t make it?” You gulp as you speak, before continuing to hum.

“Shoko says you’ve been at it all night, why not eat a little something?” He suggests, you sigh, nodding then, taking off your gloves, going to wash your hands and pat them dry.

“You’re so sweet, thank you.” You give him a little kiss, and he exhales, setting your things down to pull you close.

“I miss you, can you hate babies already so you’re back on my floor?” You giggle breathlessly then.

“No, sorry. I miss you too.” You kiss him slowly, softly, your lips little brushes against his, in an easy rhythm that feels so natural, so perfect.

“Fine, one more day then I want you back.”

“Needy for me?” You tease, and he exhales, nodding. “I can’t wait for us to have a date, if shit doesn’t hit the fan.”

“When doesn’t it? Alright, you eat Missy.”

“Thank you Satoru.” You kiss him again, he pulls you so tight, like he can’t get you close enough, before letting you go.

After eating your breakfast/lunch/dinner - that muffin encompasses all of your overnight shift - you’re yawning when Shoko comes to you. “Emergency c section, you ready for this, intern?”

“Ready.” You’re scrubbing in now with Dr. Shoko, as the patient is prepped and sedated, falling into a slumber.

“She was a drug user, the entirety of the pregnancy.” Shoko informs you softly, as well as the others, and you pause then, looking up at her soft brown eyes behind her glasses.

“Is that why she’s so small?” You murmur, she looks maybe three months pregnant at best.

“Mmhm, it’s not the first. Four of them had fetal problems, two made it and were sent to child protective services.”

“Four!?” Shoko sighs, nodding as she starts prepping her, drawing a line with a marker over her lower abdomen. 

The surgery begins, you’re trying to keep your eyes on the procedure, not the heart rate monitor of the baby you heard earlier, already so faint there’s likely no chance. You don’t need to hear the baby’s heart drop, not when you know what that means, not when it’s one of your worst fears in this job so far.

You know all lives are important, but something about a sweet, precious baby not making it makes you question anything and everything, kids in general, it’s so much to handle so much. You know you can’t let it get you, you have to do what you do with all patients, focus.

Satoru wants you to dislike babies, to know better, but where he’s wrong is working with Shoko has you more in love with them. But you could do without, without having children, even if it’s heartbreaking to think of,  if it meant having Satoru’s love. You could put that aside and respect him, but right now all you can think of is how badly you hope this baby has a chance.

“Scalpel.” You watch as Shoko makes the incision, a perfect line, and you’re trying to keep your breath even as you watch her pull back the skin, the muscle, the fat, until she’s finally cutting toward the uterus.

You both are resting pieces of this woman’s small body on her nearly flat, open stomach, one of the oddest parts of the procedure. “Not much blood, that’s good.”

“Yes, here.” Then you see it, the uterus as Shoko hands you the scalpel. “You can do this.”

You take it with sure hands, a sense of dread filling you, one you’ve felt before, but you shove it down, as you delicately cut to reveal the baby, so tiny and blue, and not moving whatsoever. You swallow down the bile in your throat, taking a deep breath behind your mask as you start to suction its nose and mouth, it’s little limbs twitching slightly for just a moment.

“Come on, come on little one, breathe, please.” You whisper, your voice hoarse as you try to get it to breathe, taking the little boy to the little table as Shoko stitches the mom back up.

You’re intubating the baby that’s not crying, you’re giving it oxygen, you’re doing the little compressions, and you can’t hold back the tears that fall as you realize there’s no chance. This baby is maybe five months gestation at best, but even for that it’s unreasonably tiny, it’s just a helpless little doll on your table, one that you keep trying, as Shoko comes, listening for breathing, looking for any sign of life.

You hate that you're crying right here, that you can barely hold yourself together. Just what sort of doctor even are you!? You hate that you’re not stronger than this, but you’re just so tired, and you hate that you can’t save everyone, especially this little boy. Did he even have a chance, as his mother did all of that?

Even so, you hate that you couldn’t save him. You hate that Satoru isn’t here to hold you, to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, to distract you from this depression, Shoko’s murmuring in your ear, but you can’t even hear her truly. You keep repeating to yourself- ‘you’re a doctor, you’re a doctor, you’re a doctor’.

You have to keep going, even when it’s hard, right? You keep going even when it’s all just too much. You are shaking however, when Shoko gently pulls you away from the lifeless little body, shaking her head then.

“Long gone, sweetheart. I’m sorry.” You shake your head, you have to be pried off the little lifeless baby.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“Shh, it’s okay. Step outside, I’ll be there.”

You realize from the talk amongst the nurses and others that the mother didn’t even care, she had meant to have an abortion but was too preoccupied, and thought drugs would ‘deal with it’. You can’t stop your anger, your fury, despite needing to remain ‘detached’.. You’re sobbing silently, sitting in one of the waiting room seats when Shoko and Satoru come to you.

“Think you need to take a break, go with Satoru for a bit, hmm?” You nod a bit, Shoko holds you for a moment, kissing your head, and you fall into Satoru’s arms, wrapped up so tightly, inhaling his scent, that cologne of his, feeling his heart against your cheek.

“Oh, baby… I’m so sorry.” He whispers huskily. “Come on, let’s go have some privacy?”

Soon you’re in his office, and you can’t hold it back anymore, not when it’s just the two of you, you break down completely, until you’re a mess.

“Shh, shh.” Satoru’s rubbing your back as you break into sobs, unable to breathe now, getting lightheaded as your breaths come in sharp little pants. “Hey, you need to take a deep breath.”

“C-can’t… how can I… be a doc- if I…” You’re all flushed and red when he pulls back and looks at you, cupping your face between his big hands.

“Breathe. In. Out.”

“C-can’t, can’t… fucking it all up… I…” You back away then, hand on your chest, struggling as your hands are going numb, and you feel yourself getting dizzy. “The baby is just… he’s just gone and I… I can’t take it.”

Satoru sighs, holding you closely. “You have to though, this is what being a doctor is, sweetheart.”

You sniffle, feeling your blood pressure rising more and more, the crushing weight and your exhaustion hitting. “Then I can’t, I can’t-”

“Yes. You can.” Satoru shakes you then, grabbing you by your shoulders. “You can do this, you did what you could with the baby. Plenty of others you’ve saved, and their moms. You can’t fix everything.”

“I… I…” You collapse against him, sobbing again, as the door knocks, Satoru shushes you gently.

“Yeah?”

“Dr. Gojo…” You hear Miwa’s voice then, you quickly swipe at the streams of tears on your sticky cheeks.

“I’m busy right now, what is it?” You’re turning away, trying to get yourself together now.

“I am prepping OR 3 for surgery.”

“Yes, thanks.” Satoru’s hand is on your back now, comforting in its touch, but then his words make you tense. “Do you see now?”

“See what exactly?” You turn to him, eyes swimming with tears that are burning as you struggle to focus.

Satoru sighs, swiping a hand through his silky white locks, before putting his hands in the lab coat pockets, tilting his head. “How awful it’d be, to have kids. Especially this line of work, how could you keep it all together?”

You glare then, jaw setting, hands clenched into fists by your sides, fury taking over every part of you. “What!?”

“I don’t mean to be insensitive, but maybe this is a learning lesson, a reality check of what you’ll handle here.”

Your jaw clenches so tightly it hurts, breaths quicker and quicker. “You know what? I have not said shit about the cocktail of pills in your bathroom. I have not said shit about the fact that you seem to hate kids or something. I have not said one word about you, about your lifestyle, your fear of commitment, I haven’t tried to change you or pry.”

Satoru falters then, hitting him in waves how furious you are, realizing now what he’s done, his lips parting. “Shit, I’m sorry, I-”

“No, you’ll let me finish, Dr. Gojo.” At your formal tone he’s breaking, he sees it then, you’re trembling, barely able to keep it together, he feels your anger and even worse, your disappointment. “I haven’t said a damn thing, because we just got together, and we don’t even know each other yet.”

“You act like this connection is normal?” His hands go to your waist, but you shove them off.

“No, it’s not, but what is also not normal is pushing someone to want what you want. You’re trying so hard to make me change my mind, for what? So I can be a perfect little girlfriend for you? So easy, let you do what you want and have no fucking opinions?”

“That’s not what I want. I want you.” He tries again, but his hands freeze an inch above your skin when you glare up at him through tears.

“I don’t pry, I don’t judge, I just accept you. But you can’t accept anything that doesn’t fit into your world, can you?”

“I can accept it, I just know you’re not thinking rationally, you’re young and still inexperienced.”

You laugh then, a humorless laugh at him. “That’s insane talk from you, truly Dr. Gojo. Your whole MO is thinking outside the norms, is letting feelings in. But only if it benefits you. And my age? I’m no baby, you’re not even that much older.”

“It’s life experience, is all.”

“Hah, you don’t even know my life.”

“Just… I’ll drop it. I swear.” You shake your head at him, and he panics then, sensing you falling back from him. “I will drop it, come here, you’re upset.”

“Yes, I’m upset! What I just had to see, what I just had to… and you’re what, rubbing it in my face!?”

Satoru’s blood pressure rises as he realizes he’s losing you, his hands trembling, sure hands that never falter. “I’ll stop, just don’t… don’t do it.”

“Don’t do what?” You whisper, he cups your face and you can’t push him away, not when he slams his lips down on yours, and you’re kissing him back for just a moment, before thinking better of it, freezing your lips, pressing them in a terse line. He’s a breath away, leaning over you, taking over you completely.

But you can’t.

“Don’t you leave me. Please. You’re important to me.” He needs you, he needs you so badly, but he feels you slipping through his fingers, knowing he’s pushed you too far. “I’ll drop this. I’ll respect what you want.”

“Oh now you will? Instead of comforting me after watching that little baby…” You can’t even say it, you can’t even think of it, the images in your head making you devastated. “You know I’m emotional, you knew that and you said it was a good thing for a doctor, but because it’s not what you want in this situation you use it as what. A lesson? It’s no lesson, it was a baby!”

Satoru sighs now, shaking his head, covering his face, temples pounding as the blood rushes to his brain. “It was fucked up of me.”

“Yeah, it was.” You take a shaky breath, shaking your numb hands, pacing now, and Satoru watches you with his heart in his throat. “I can’t.”

“Don’t do this. I see what I did.”

“This isn’t good, any of it, me and you. What do we have? We had insane sex, I have feelings…”

Satoru blinks snowy lashes, droplets just nearing the tips of them, as his lower lip trembles, damn near ending your resolve. “You have-”

“Feelings that are too much. It’s too much, I can’t even focus on this internship, you consume me.” Satoru yanks you against his chest, his breath sweeping over your swollen lips, bitten to death from the stress of the day.

“You think you don’t consume me?” He whispers hoarsely, and you shake your head, earning his humorless laugh. “You’re wrong, so wrong, sweetheart.”

“Don’t call me that. Don’t look at me that way, those eyes of yours, eyes that make me stupid.” You shove at his chest as those blue eyes take you over, snowy lashes lowered, a beautiful face that makes you ache.

“Don’t leave me. Please.” His voice breaks, and you feel it, his vulnerability, it makes your stomach flip, makes you almost sick.

“Why can’t you accept me, when I accept you?”

“Because I don’t want to disappoint you, I thought it’d be better if you want…”

“What you want.”

Satoru gulps now. “I’m selfish, I want you and only you, I wouldn’t want something else in our lives.”

“Our lives?” You laugh then. “There’s never an ‘our’. Not when you just want to fix everything you deem wrong with me.”

“I don’t want to ‘fix’ you. I’ll stop it. Just kiss me.”

“No.” He pauses a centimeter from your lips, exhaling. “I won’t kiss you anymore, I won’t let you say insane things in my ear while you fuck me, ‘only me ever’ what are you trying to do to me!?”

“I meant it.”

“No, let me go.” His hands drop, as he blinks back tears, and you’re a mess in front of him. “Satoru… I could have gotten over it for you. Wanting marriage, wanting serious shit, wanting kids. Don’t you know I’d give it all up for you, for a chance to be with you? But you trying to change me? That’s where I draw the line.”

You hate seeing him in tears, your beepers both go off then, and you step away, heading towards the door. Satoru’s hand stops you, over your little one, his voice desperate as he leans over you. “I was wrong, will you just forgive me?”

“You made me work with Shoko to hate babies. Then when it backfires, you say something like that?”

“I know. I know.” He hugs you from behind, burying his head against your neck, and you love the embrace, you love him.

But you also love yourself, and you can’t handle it anymore, the cold, cruel way he goes about things. The careless way he dismisses you and all of your feelings, the way he thinks only his way is right, that everyone should think as he does. You shake in his hold, everything pulling you to him.

“Do you hate me?” He whispers brokenly, and you shake your head, looking up at him now, his blue eyes glittering with tears.

“I could never. Far from it.”

“Then give me a chance to fix it.” His thumb brushes over your jaw, your precious face destroyed, your beeper goes off again and you take a breath.

“Let me go. We’ll talk later.”

You walk out, leaving him sobbing against the door, his head against it, fist landing on it, struggling to pull himself together. You’ve in just a couple months become the most important thing in the world to him, but you’re just… leaving him. And he can’t blame you, he’s confused you, he’s turned your life upside down, and he instead of comforting you…

He threw shit in your face.

Why couldn’t he just let you want kids? Well, because he can’t be a parent, and he can’t give you it, and he wants you, no he needs you. He needs you with him, only him, to feel your lips on his, your body against him. To see your little smile, to hear your moans and cries, to comfort you when you’re exhausted.

He should have comforted you, why did he need to do it like that? Why did he fuck everything up? The thoughts swarm in his head as he leans back in his chair now, covering his face with a hand, before he yanks open his drawer. He takes out the xanax and crushes it right on his desk, lining them up with a credit card he yanks now from his wallet.

He rolls up a hundred dollar bill and snorts it right up his nostril, it burns like a bitch, makes his eyes water, but he knows it will hit soon, he won’t give as many fucks, right? But after twenty minutes he’s taking another, and another, until he sees his shift is done, and he’s weakly walking towards the locker rooms, seeing you there changing, looking at your gorgeous frame.

Your eyes catch his then, you quickly look away, your eyes are puffy from the crying he’s made you do, when he slips off his shirt, head fuzzy. He stumbles just a bit, catching your concerned gaze. Which infuriates him then, he steadies himself and glares at you, slipping off his own shirt, noticing your gaze just grows more worried when he slips his top on.

“Satoru, what’s… are you okay?” You care about him? Why?

“Just peachy, sweets.” He gives you a fake smile, and your heart races, as you look up at eyes almost black, so dilated.

“Satoru are you-”

“Don’t ask shit about my life. You’re done, right?” His unexpectedly cruel words pierce your heart, you turn away, body shaking. “That’s what I thought.”

“Are you okay?” You ask again, turning back around, watching his lids lower just a bit as he leans over you, pressing you against the cool metal of the lockers.

“No, m’not okay. Girl of my fuckin’ dreams hates me.” You hear it, the slut of his words, as he takes a hand and cups your face. “Why do you gotta be so beautiful?”

“You’re fucked up.” You manage to breathe out, and he smirks then.

“Me? Nah. Maybe fucked up over you, intern. Haunt my every dream, now you’re gonna just leave?”

“Satoru…”

“You should know what you’re missing.” He kisses you again, desperate and messy, brutal and hungry, hands pulling you against his hard body. You whimper, hating your body’s reaction to him, how it lights up. “You want me, huh?”

“Of course I do. It’s you who can’t accept me.”

“I can… I can…” He kisses you again, one hand cupping you between your thighs over your leggings. “Always so hot f’me.”

“We won’t do it. I deserve better.”

“You do.” He presses a finger along your clit, moaning then. “Better, better… you do… lemme just take care of you, hmm?”

“Stop it, Toru. You’re not yourself right now.”

“This is me.” He kisses you again, as you press on his chest. “It’s all me, this is really me. Gonna run the other fuckin direction when you learn.”

“Ahem.” Suguru’s clearing of his throat does nothing to Satoru, who’s in a haze of lust, depression and xanax. “Satoru, back off.”

“She’s leaving me, Sugu, who doesn’t?”

“It’s not like that!” You hiss through your teeth.

“Satoru…”

“What?” He sways just a bit, Suguru’s frowning now as he looks at him.

“Really, Satoru?”

“What? Really what? I’m tired of everyone so fucking judgy.”

“Suguru take him home.” You whisper, and he nods then, but Satoru glares over at you.

“Why should he?” He demands. “I’m fine. I take more than I did for fucking breakfast.”

“You can’t have someone see you like this.” Your first worry is someone walking in, Satoru losing his career, every other hurt or worry is thrown into a back seat.

“M’perfect, baby. Should I show you?” He kisses you again, as you shove at him, glaring.

“You’re not perfect, maybe something’s hitting harder? You’re not okay.” He shakes his head, laughing now, eyes glinting.

“No I’m not okay, how can I be? When you’re leaving me.”

“I’m not, I just… I’m mad and I’m upset. Okay? Let me be. It doesn’t mean you have to… hurt yourself-”

“You hurt me existing.” He whispers, cupping your face again.

“Satoru, enough.” Suguru’s words resonate in Satoru’s brain, thank god. “Get your goddamn jacket and shoes on.” Satoru huffs and Suguru brushes your hair back as he finally lets you breathe, ever so gently, dark violet eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay, love?”

You nod quickly. “We just… have different views and he was hurtful, but I’m worried more than anything.” You whisper, looking at Satoru now, you’ve never, ever seen him like this. Your heart hurts for him.

“He’ll be fine, I’ve got it. You get home and get some sleep.”

“Thank you, Suguru.” He nods, and you shut your locker, when Satoru looks at you with devastated eyes, shattering your heart.

“I’m so sorry for what I did. Okay?” He whispers, taking your hands then, and you sigh, shutting your eyes for a moment.

“Satoru I never put myself first, with my toxic exes. I let them run all over me. I have to take care of my heart this time.It’s not that I don’t feel it, I feel it. Just please, I have to put myself as a priority.” You touch his chest over his soft sweater, and he has two trails of tears falling from his cerulean eyes.

“Do you need time?”

“I need a minute to breathe, to think. We’ll talk more when you’re…”

“What, sober? Sweetheart I never am.” He whispers, right against your lips, Suguru puts a hand on his shoulder now.

“She’ll talk to you tomorrow. Right?”

“I will.” Satoru kisses your forehead, and you have to hold in every bit of you that wants to take him home yourself, that part screaming forgive him.

But even for Satoru Gojo, the man that’s taken over your heart, you have to protect yourself.

“Good night, then intern.” He murmurs, running the backs of his cool fingers across your overheated cheek.

“Good night Satoru, Suguru.” He gives you the smallest smile, when you leave Suguru exhales, covering his face.

“I fucked it all up, Sugu.” His voice is broken, and Suguru puts an arm around him now.

“How much did you take?”

“Four bars. Not OD level.”

“Thank god. Just… Come on, let’s get you out of here.” Soon you see Satoru and Suguru, as you climb up in your car, and you rest your head on the steering wheel, bawling your eyes out.

It feels so wrong not to be in his arms, not to kiss him, something that just started became so precious to you, so special. But what he did was nasty and hurtful, what he keeps doing, trying to make you change like this, you know you’ve done the right thing. But you also know you’re in love with him, with a beautiful, brilliant and broken man, and you won’t be able to let him go fully.

*****

The next morning Satoru is there bright and early, sipping on coffee in the cafeteria as you walk in, faltering. Remembering so vividly being pressed against those lockers, those eyes that were black almost are now a calm storm of blue, as he looks at you over his hot cup, steam fogging up around his face. You just stand there, because you’re exhausted, you’re hurt.

You want to be with him more than anything, you wanted to go on that damn date with him, wanted to fall asleep in his arms. You want to just forgive him so easily, to fall into the abyss that is Satoru Gojo, to feel those plush lips on yours, to have those eyes devour you. Feel those long fingers that are currently curling around that styrofoam cup, touching your cheek.

You both stand there, until you clear your throat, smiling just a little, a sad smile that makes Satoru feel like shit. He knows how bad he’s hurt you, he’s had all morning to think about it, about how fragile you were, so vulnerable, coming to him to feel better, and what did he do instead? Make you leave him, devastate you, and all he can think of is how to put a real smile on your face again.

“Morning, Dr. Gojo.” You say softly, eyes lowering, lashes casting shadows over your cheeks.

“Good morning, intern.” He says, his voice isn’t the bright and goofy one you’re used to, or the husky sultry one for you, or even the flirtatious one. It’s a soft voice, unsure, just like you.

You grab your coffee now, your shoulder brushing his, just that contact alone makes you ache, the pain in your heart so brutal you feel emotions starting to come in waves. There is so much left unsaid as you both walk out past the packed waiting room, heading over to the elevator, Satoru presses the button, and you stand next to him, feeling the pull, it’s just stronger today.

“I’m…” Satoru clears his throat, looking down at you now, your breath catches. “I’m really sorry that I pushed it. I understand we’re over, but I need to tell you.”

You look up at, swallowing nervously, the backs of his hand brushing against yours, and yours gently brushes back, sending shivers down his spine. “I forgive you, I do. It’s just… we’re too different.”

Satoru turns toward you, leaning down low, free hand cupping your face. “Too different?”

You nod, feeling the tears burning your eyes. “We are, Satoru, so different, and that’s okay. But I think we both know it won’t work.”

“Yeah, you think so?” His words are hoarse, his gaze tearing through your every barrier, a sad, lost gaze.

“I do. Maybe you were happier before, a Hojo and all.” You smile sadly, looking down at his perfect lips. “I hope we can be friends, when you go back to collecting those infinity stones.”

Satoru presses the stop on the elevator then, making you gasp, pulling you by your waist against him, so close you taste that sweet mocha on his breath. “You can leave me, I get it, but don’t think for one minute you’re not all I want. Don’t think I’m giving up on this.”

You can’t speak, not when he’s so close, not when the words he’s saying are ruining you, that you’re melting for him, as your own free hand slides up his chest. “You’re not?”

“How could I? It’s you.” Satoru exhales against you, almost brushing his lips on yours, before pulling back, starting the elevator. “Want that goddamn date with you. I’ll do anything I can to earn it.”

“Satoru…” He walks off when the elevator opens, leaving you to lean against the rail, head pressed against the wall, you’re not sure what floor you’re going to, you just know he’s got you too far gone to leave just now.

He’s not giving up on you, and you don’t want him to give up, either. But with so much between you left unsaid, you have no clue what any of it means. When you’re finally where you need to be, after several elevator rides of pulling yourself together, Satoru checks his rolex, peering at you.

“You’re late, intern.” His voice is calm, professional.

“I know, I’m sorry.” You manage hoarself, as Toge, Yuuta and Maki look at you, concern in their gazes, as they of all people truly knew what a mess you were last night after you got home.

“Don’t let it be a habit.” Gojo says, trying to be stern but it’s failing, it’s just a soft little order, one you nod at. “Wanna work with Shoko or do the pit with me?”

You’re surprised then, blinking a bit. “The pit, if I can please.”

He gives just the smallest little smile. “Then you’re on it. Maki, your week with Shoko.”

“Babies, yuck.” She shivers and Satoru smiles just a bit bigger, as Yuuta snorts in laughter.

Satoru surely feels the same as Maki, but you?

Satoru knows you are yourself, uniquely so. He now knows you were going to sacrifice it all for him, and he didn’t deserve you, not one bit, you deserve more, everything. But he’s so selfish, he wants you back, and he knows he’ll do anything for it, to have you back in his embrace, which feels so empty.

When you’re both alone in his office later, while going over a patient, he keeps his distance as much as he can. Satoru wants to respect this, your wishes, but his hands long to touch you, even those casual teasing brushes you all shared had meant so much to him.

“Present your case, intern.” He says then, leaning on his desk, you feel this distance he is keeping, and it breaks you, but you pull it together, this is your decision right?

“We had a patient with hours of stomach pain last night, ultrasound found gallstones, which should be what occurred, and ordered an EKG to rule out any potential signs of heart attack.”

“Perfect.”

“Patient is in his late fifties, mild drinker, smoker, but otherwise healthy, a little overweight. He likes tacos, he said.” You smile just a bit at it.

“Well who doesn’t? And EKG results?”

“Everything came back normal.”

“So what’s the best course of action?”

“The stones are small, but there are a few. I would suggest a laparoscopic cholecystectomy first, aside from gallbladder removal. That, and a lower fat diet, along with no alcohol should have him just right.” Satoru smiles at you, fuck you make him proud, holding yourself high.

“Exactly right, do you want to assist?”

You blink in surprise, you weren’t sure after everything, but Satoru is clearly not holding any of this against you. “If you would let me, of course, Sir.”

Sir.

Should be calling him that in the bedroom, he thinks, how pretty you’d be on your knees, begging for his cock in your mouth. The images are so lewd and it takes him everything to keep it together. He smiles though, sitting down and taking one of his klonopin right in front of you. You look away nervously, biting your lip.

“You should know all of me. You should know you were smart to leave.” He takes one and chews it up, feeling the sweetness hit his tongue.

“I don’t want to leave you.” You whisper, coming to him then, he pulls you between his thighs now, and you cup his face. “I didn’t judge you.”

“I know you didn’t, I know.” His eyes shut, he turns and kisses your palm so sweetly. “I won’t have anyone else, it’s just you.”

“Satoru it’s insane to say it, when you…”

“I know. I know it is.” He pulls you down, to where you’re leaned over him, one leg over his chair, your hands gripping the arms of his seat. His hands slip over your waist, right over your scrubs. “I’ll do anything to make it right.”

“You think I don’t want to kiss you, fuck you? Suck you right here?” Satoru moans, hand pulling at your hair at the nape of your neck, little networks of goosebumps pricking up, your body reacting in every way, nipples pressed against your bra, desiring his touches.

“Think I don’t want you wrapped on this cock?” His seductive whisper has your hips shifting, a movement he notices avidly.

“You can have anyone, Satoru.”

“I only want you. I’ll have to show you. But will you let me try?” He asks, emotional now as the overwhelming feelings hit.

“I don’t want to be changed for you, I don’t want to give up who I am.” He sighs now, nodding, sad look on his beautiful face.

“I won’t change you. But sweetheart, you are changing me.”

“Bad or good, Satoru?” Your whisper damn near ends him, is it bad or good, this obsession with you? You’re good, but is he?

“I want it to be good. I don’t want to make you cry again, break you down, terrify you.”

You ease in his hold, a hold you never want to leave, but you try to think rationally, despite the overwhelming pull of him, despite the ache to press yourself fully against him, to let him take your pain away. “Then let’s… take time.”

He nods, brushing a thumb on your lower lip, just a little glossy from your chapstick, he can almost taste it, vanilla sugar. He’s caressing your face ever so softly. “I’m so goddamn sorry.”

“Thank you.” You kiss his cheek, before pulling yourself off him, sighing.

“Time, huh?” Any time without you in his arms makes him sick, but when you nod he kisses your forehead, so sweetly you want to fall against him, fall into him. “I’l give it, don’t even deserve this right now.”

“I still feel it all for you.” You say, before you pull away, making his heart race. “Don’t hurt yourself over this, please. It’s not… I still…”

“Don’t worry about me, sweets. I’m fine.” His sad smile doesn’t reassure you anymore than he’s pretending it to be true. “Now, go get ready to put him on the board, yeah?”

“Yes Dr. Gojo.” You give him another worried little smile, leaving Satoru to cover his face in his hands.

No amount of a benzodiazepine lessens the need for you.

Your back is against the door, breaths coming quickly, leaning your head back and just longing to be with the man inside, the broken man that has your heart. You know it will never heal without him, no it needed him to heal, you want to stand so firm but your heart and soul know you belong to him, even if for now, you both don’t know it’s true.

You put on a brave smile, and set about your day. You could do this, right? Be without him? You were fine your whole life before you even knew Satoru. Surely… but then why then every time you formally speak to him, do you wish your lips could crash on his?

The day is hectic, even more hectic than usual, you’re running on nothing again, and when you’re finally done, and you’re heading to your car, you can hardly hold your eyes open. Satoru’s next to you suddenly, hands on your shoulders, you yawn as he looks down at you, you’re so curious how he got here.

“You’re too tired to drive, intern.”

You look at him, squinting just a bit in the dark night, the wind softly blowing back your sweater and making his snowy hair sway. “Are you fucked up?”

He sighs, shaking his head. “Normal meds. I wouldn’t hurt you. Intentionally, aside from being an ass. I’ll take you home, Maki can bring you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah, thank you Satoru.” Soon you’re driving in his car, his hand keeps wanting to rest on your thigh, but he stops himself. He’s running on nothing himself at this point, he’s exhausted, and all he can think of is what it’d be like to hold you against him tonight.

The longing for you, for any of you destroys him, the only sound is his car gently moving through the snow, the windshield wipers going as you keep stealing glances at him, so tired your eyes are heavy. All you can think of is holding him, falling into that bliss, god imagine, snuggling with him again, waking up with his kisses.

But you don’t know him, truly, and how will you, when you’re running from him? Even if it is the best thing for you, it doesn’t make it easier, not when you study his perfect profile in the night. Not when he glances your way for just a moment, that hand hovering right next to your thigh, like he’s fighting it too.

Soon you’re home, the heat of his car mixed with how tired you are makes it almost impossible to leave. Satoru leans over, unseatbelted you, and himself, a hand finally gently over your thigh. It burns through your warm, plush leggings, like a brand on your skin, his other hand brushing your hair back ever so softly, as he opens his mouth, then closes it.

It’s quiet in the car, your breaths and the low purr of the car filling the air, along with the wind outside and the gently falling flakes. “I will do everything I can to get you back, I won’t give up. I’m too fucking selfish.”

You smile, so sleepy, caressing his perfect face. “Satoru, you’re amazing, brilliant, great at so much, but you have to learn, you can’t just fix people, you have to accept them.”

“I didn’t mean to. I just…” He swallows, resting his head on yours, and you’re dying to kiss him, to feel his mouth take you over, he is your drug.

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not. What I did, it was not okay. I talked to Sugu a long time last night, blitzed the fuck out. What I did was horrible, you needed me to comfort you, and I made it all worse.”

“Yeah. You did.” He exhales, smirking just a bit.

“You’re brutally honest.”

“You like that, I think.” You lean your chin up, noses brushing, lips just that bit apart, killing you both.

“I love it, I love that you have your convictions, your emotions, I love so fucking much about you. I know I didn’t show that.”

“No, you didn’t. But… Thank you for that.” You pull back a bit, taking a breath. “I don’t trust myself around you, I’ll falter, I’ll give in. And Satoru I have to…”

“You have to be a priority.”

“That, I’ve never been.” Your phone starts going off again, you check it and frown, making Satoru curious, but he knows he shouldn’t pry. “Case in point, my other stupid ex.”

He glares at your phone, then looks up at you, softer, concern in his gaze, mixed with self loathing. “You have bad taste.”

“Satoru, not you. There’s so much good here.” You put a gentle brush of your lips on his now, easing back as his eyelids lower, as his grip slips higher. “I want to fall into this, into you. You’re my own Xanax.”

“I’m that good?” He smirks, and you laugh softly. “You still haven’t even asked, why I’m on it all.”

You bite your lip, shaking your head, enjoying the heat of his hard body against yours too much. “It’s not my place right now. I should go.”

“Yeah…” Please don’t go, please.

Something pauses you, and you hug him then, he hugs you back tightly, and you kiss him once more, exhaling against his lips. “Don’t give up on it.”

“I sure fucking won’t. I win at everything you know.” You snort at that, a smile brightening your beautiful face, making him melt for you.

“We’ll see about it. Take care, Satoru, please drive safely in this?”

“I will. You get some sleep.” He wishes he could come inside, in your warm, cozy home, and hold you, but he knows he can’t.

Yet.

Satoru won’t give up.

You wave at him before you get inside, the overwhelming, exhausting past week eating you alive, and you’re stumbling when Toge sees you. He walks up quickly, concern clear in his violet eyes, hands on your shoulders. “Okay?”

You break then, shaking your head and sniffling. “No, m’not, Toge.”

Toge holds you then, as you sob against him, and soon Maki and Yuuta are out there too, all rubbing your back, your hair, as you can’t stop crying. It’s too much, not being with him, the hurt he caused, the fears you have. The past days, losing that little baby, losing so many, losing your fucking mind.

“I’m so tired, you guys, of all of it.” You barely speak, barely hold it together, as they all gently speak.

“No, you got this baby, I swear. If it’s not Gojo. if he’s not the one for you, guess what? You’ll be okay, we’re here for you, either way.” Maki says softly, and you nod, sniffling now.

“You have to do what’s best for you, don’t feel guilty.” Yuuta says, and Toge’s giving you the saddest look of all.

“Hurting.” You nod quickly, hugging him again.

“Don’t you run from me, please.” You say softly, as he strokes your back. “I need you all.”

“Not running.” He assures you, with a sweet smile, and you feel so at home with them, but something’s missing.

Satoru is missing.

How has he become everything so quickly?

But soon Maki is getting you a glass of wine, and Toge has cookies for everyone, Yuuta is putting on your favorite movie. And as you’re cuddled with your best friends on your old couch, so comfy and worn in, it almost feels perfect. You’re blessed to have them, warm with the fire going, while the snow falls outside. But you can’t help but look out the window.

“I love him, fuck.” You whisper softly.

“We know.” Maki says, you snuggle back up to her, curling up and letting her rub your hair.

“I love you three so much. Don’t leave me, even if I’m a mess.”

“We’re not going anywhere. Shh, just relax.”

Sleep doesn’t hit for Satoru that night, not when he stares at your number over and over with your picture in his phone, not when he thinks of the date he had ready on that fairy boat for you, not when he thinks of you in his home. He stares at that damn piano, remembering kissing you on that bench.

But he was selfish, he was pushy, he ruined such a beautiful thing before it began.

Satoru knows now, he needs you, like he needs to breathe, and he knows by looking in your eyes, you feel it, though you’re now terrified. He was so afraid of pushing you away, that he did just that. As he sips down a whiskey and pops a seroquel, he hopes it will take him to sleep soon, blissful dreamless sleep where he won’t have to feel this pain.

Satoru looks out the window, watching the snowfall and wondering if you’re okay, before the sleeping meds take him out. But it doesn’t prevent those dreams, it only makes them more vivid, and he wakes up in the middle of the night, sweating, panicking. He calls you, knowing you won’t answer, but he hears it.

A sleepy ‘hmm?’

“I’m sorry. I am so sorry.”

“Shh. Satoru… s’okay… shhh…”

He lets tears fall as he sets the phone on speaker. “Will you… let me hear you breathe? So I can sleep?”

“Hmm, you’re weird Doc.” He snorts through his tears, and you sleepily wonder if this is a dream on your end. “But mkay.”

He soon hears your steady breathing, and he finally can sleep, mind whirling with ways he can earn you, while you listen to his little sigh, hand gripping the phone, picturing him in your mind’s eyes. “Night, beautiful.”

“Night S’toru.”

Two hearts are alone but still connected, as both wonder what the exhaustion of tomorrow would hold, and beyond the doubt, they hope.

I know this was an angsty/darker chapter, but it will get more lighthearted and will have a happy ending, but we gotta go through some rough stuff to get there (Satoru won't be a Hojo again dw lol)

Taglist: @lostfracturess @unfortunately-tia @allofffmypeaches @chiyokoemilia @makingtimemine @antisocialinlw @meg3mis @miizuzu @nanasukii28 @zoeyflower @wstaley2 @bunheadusa @blue-musingss @ameliariddle @moncher-ire @jkslaugh97 @shadeowz @gojo1228 @nanasukii28 @jaeminaur @httpstoyosi @angel1of-death @seeing-stars-alt @bol0-de-morang0 @jjknanamin @ghostskilledmyaddiction21 @trishiepo0 @inthedarkshadows000 @gina239 @san-it-is-i-guess @pelicanpizza @gojo1228 @ducky1232 @inthedarkshadows000 @eclecticmentalitypersona @burguhndy @levislug @addehehe @sluttyofgojo @msniks @xixflower @n1vi Perma tags: @alt--er--love @cuntphoric @loafteaw @indiewritesxoxo @harutahake @jinjen

[hqbaby]

eighteen — just wanted you know to know

mess it up — gojo x reader & sukuna x reader

⁀➴ when i told you i’m fine, you were lied to. when the love of your life falls for someone else, you decide to move on—by pretending to date your best friend, the campus fuckboy.

previous — masterlist — next

word count. 2.4k content. profanity, everyone’s bad with feelings

Satoru was having a lovely day. Although “lovely” would be a relative term considering the fact that finals season has descended upon the general student population and he is one of its many victims. Still, he woke up on the right side of the bed, he managed to find some clean clothes, and the barista at the coffee shop down the road wasn’t as mean to him as he usually is.

Overall, his day had gone fairly well. As he walked over to the library, he didn’t dread finishing the mountain of papers he had to write or the problem sets he had to review. He even texted Suguru to come join him in his study session so that they could compare notes—something he usually steers clear from because the man always distracts him.

Overall, Satoru was having a lovely day.

Until that asshole showed up.

There he goes, with his usual lazy smirk, walking over to a table with his friend. They’re chatting—about something shitty, Satoru suspects—and laying their books out on the surface, pulling laptops and notes out of their bags. Satoru wonders what would happen if he just walked over, grabbed the guy and—

“What the fuck are you doing?”

Satoru looks down at his hand where a pencil has already snapped in half. You should really just get a mechanical one, your voice echoes in the back of his mind, the hint of a laugh bubbling beneath your words.

“Satoru.”

He looks up.

Shoko.

“Hey,” he says, flashing her that grin of his. As if he wasn’t just trying to stare your boyfriend to death. “What’s up? Wanna join me?”

The girl rolls her eyes, obviously seeing through his nonsense. “Why are you looking at that guy?” she asks, glancing over at the table where Sukuna is gesturing frantically as he explains something to Choso. “You into him or something?”

Satoru scowls. “That guy is dirt,” he says. “Worse than dirt actually. He’s the scourge of the earth.”

Shoko watches him with an amused look as he directs his attention at Sukuna, sending daggers at the guy that he obviously can’t feel at all. She’s known Satoru for a while, since they were freshmen. He’s usually the kind of guy who tries to be nice to everyone. He calls it being a nice person. She calls it being a people-pleaser.

She doesn’t think she’s ever seen him look at anyone the way he looks at Sukuna. He usually hides his disdain until the other person is out of his general vicinity. So this, him looking at the poor guy like he wants his whole family dead, is both ridiculous and completely strange.

“What did he do?” she asks, sitting down at the table. She takes a sip of her coffee as Satoru wills himself to rip his gaze away from Sukuna. When she realizes it might take a while, she busies herself by digging through her bag to grab the things she needs to study. “Did he steal your girlfriend or something?”

The silence that her question meets leaves Shoko curious, glancing up at Satoru as he turns away looking a little defeated.

“Oh shit,” she says. “Really? That’s why you broke up?”

“No,” Satoru tells her. He groans, slumping onto the table. “I don’t know, okay? All I know is that one moment she’s breaking up with me, the next she’s with that guy.”

Shoko looks back at Sukuna, waiting until she finally recognizes the man. Her eyes widen. She didn’t know who he was before, but now she definitely does.

“That’s the best friend!” she whispers to Satoru like it’s some big secret. “He’s the one you told us about!”

Satoru sticks his tongue out. “Yeah. Duh.”

She swats his shoulder. “Don’t be a fucking brat,” she says. “I can’t believe she jumped ship like that. What a bitch.”

“Don’t call her that.”

“Well, I’m a bitch, so I know when someone else is being a bitch.”

“Shoko.”

She raises her hands in apology. “Fine, fine. Sorry,” she says. She takes one more look at Sukuna then sighs. “You know, at least you’re free of all that now. You and Kimi seem great.”

That seems to cheer him up.

“We do, don’t we?” he says, beaming. “She’s just the best, you know. Lights up every room she walks into.”

Shoko curses herself as Satoru launches into a whole spiel about how great and wonderful Kimi is. She knows that she brought this on, she knows that the best way to distract her friend from his melancholy thoughts of you is to get him to talk about his new girlfriend, but fuck does it make him annoying.

“She does this little thing when we kiss, where she takes her hand and she—”

“Holy shit, please stop!” Shoko says. “I don’t wanna know about that!”

Satoru smirks. He knows just how much this annoys Shoko. It’s half the fun.

“She grabs my butt.”

He gets a well-earned smack on the arm.

“Hey, why are you starting the violence without me?” Suguru slides into the chair beside Satoru, beaming at Shoko as she glares at him. “What did he do?”

“He was being annoying,” she tells him, slouching in her seat. “I brought up his girlfriend once and off he goes on a whole tangent. ‘Oh, Shoko, you should see her eyes! You should smell her hair!’”

Satoru shrugs. “Not my fault you’re painfully single.”

“I’m pre-med, I don’t have the time,” she says like she always does. “I’d also like to point out that you fall in love way too easily. It’s gross.”

“I do not!” he gasps. “I’m very careful with my heart, you know.”

“Nah, I have to agree with Shoko on this,” Suguru chimes in, oh-so-helpfully

“You have to agree? You don’t have to do anything!”

He pats Satoru on the back. “Why don’t we just study like you said we would?” he says. “Take your mind off your fickle heart.”

“I’m gonna throw you into a dumpster,” Satoru says, glaring.

“After my finals, buddy. After my finals.”

It takes a while, but they do manage to get Satoru back on track and start working on his papers.

At a table a few feet away from them, Sukuna is trying to focus too. And failing miserably of course.

“Shut up,” Choso says without even looking up from his laptop.

“I haven’t even said anything.”

“But you were going to.”

Choso sighs. “Dude, I swear I’m gonna leave if you don’t let me focus.”

Sukuna pouts, trying his best to put on the best whole “woe is me” performance of his life. “But I have something really important to ask.”

“I have something really important to study for.”

 “You don’t want me to fail, do you?” Sukuna asks. “If I don’t get this off my chest, I may just flunk out of here.”

“Okay,” Choso nods. He waves at Sukuna. “Bye, dude. It was nice having you here.”

“Choso!”

“Seriously, man! We can talk all you want after we die from our exams, okay?”

“Fine,” Sukuna says, clearly not fine at all. He gets up and grabs his belt bag. “I’m gonna go take a smoke.”

Choso raises his brow. “I thought you quit.”

“Yeah, well, I’m stressed,” is all Sukuna says before he marches out of the library, completely unaware of the fact that he’s just walked past your ex-boyfriend who has not only noticed him but decided—against his friend’s wishes—to follow him outside.

Technically, no one is allowed to smoke around these parts of campus. But technicalities haven’t seemed to stop the group of distressed students camped out behind the library, heads in their hands as they all ignore each other and take their misery out on the ozone layer.

Sukuna leans against the brick wall, fishing a pack of cigarettes out of his bag. He’s just about to light it when someone scoffs at him. Now what piece of shit would do that?

“She hates those, you know.”

Oh, that piece of shit. Of course.

“What do you want?” Sukuna says, his voice as cold as steel as he meets Satoru’s eye. He lets the cigarette dangle from his fingers. Yeah, you wouldn’t like this at all. “Come to beat me up? Your little girlfriend not around to stop you?”

Satoru doesn’t budge, just continues to stare him down. “Have you told her?”

“Told her what?” your boyfriend spits. “That you’re a creep who can’t seem to get out of his ex’s life?”

“If you don’t, I will,” Satoru tells him. He runs a hand through his hair and crosses his arms over his chest. What is he doing? He knows that Sukuna’s right. That he should just let you live your life. Make the mistakes you want to make. It’s not like you didn’t cause them.

But he can’t do that. He could never do that to you.

“Listen, I don’t know why she chose you,” he says, the venom dripping from his tongue. “But the least you can do is not treat her like shit.”

Sukuna rolls his eyes. He lets the cigarette drop to the ground. “How do you know how I treat her?” he asks. “This is getting pathetic, man. You have a girlfriend, don’t you? Why don’t you just move on like any other sane person would.”

“You fucking ass—”

“She doesn’t want you,” Sukuna whispers. His voice is low and threatening. Any other man would be scared shitless.

But not Satoru.

His lips curl into a smirk. All smug and cold and heartless. “She misses me, you know?”

Sukuna sneers. “Oh, yeah? Who told you that? Your fucking delusion brain?”

“No. She did,” Satoru says simply. “I ran into her a few weeks back and she told me.”

“Oh, please.” Sukuna tries to maintain the stoic facade he’s put up, but that bugs him. Did you really tell him that? Why? “You’re insane.”

He pushes past your ex and heads back into the library.

When he plops back into his chair, Choso shoots him a confused look, but he just ignores it, turning back to his notes. He tries his best to read through his scribbles about something, but he can’t help his mind from drifting to you.

He knows he should tell you about the party. It’s not like the two of you were actually together yet, and you did tell him you didn’t mind if he kept fucking seeing other girls. You’re not vindictive. You’d be just fine with it—all he has to do is tell you.

He reaches for his phone and stops short of calling you.

You wouldn’t care. You would be fine. The two of you would be fine.

But would you? Things between you are so new. So fragile. You’ve barely just crossed the line between friends and an actual proper adult relationship. Everything is still hanging in the balance. Sukuna knows that one wrong move could wreck it all. He just doesn’t know what that move is.

And then there’s Satoru.

“She misses me, you know?”

What would possess that man to say something like that, Sukuna will never know. Maybe he’s just jealous. Maybe he’s just trying to get in Sukuna’s head. Maybe he just wants to mess with your relationship so that you come running back to him.

But maybe he’s right.

You wake to the feeling of your phone buzzing somewhere on the floor of your living room. It’s the middle of the day, but you, Maki, and Nobara have managed to pass out in the middle of your studying. Figures. If you had the choice between sleep and school, you definitely know what the three of you would pick.

You lift your head and pat the space around you until it finds your phone. Your eyebrows furrow when you see the contact name on the screen. You answer.

“‘Kuna?” you say, voice a little hoarse from sleep. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah!” he answers immediately. “I just wanted—were you sleeping?”

You chuckle, placing a hand on your forehead as you rest your head back on the floor. “Yeah, we needed a break,” you tell him. “Why are you calling?”

The other line is silent for a moment. You can already picture the way he looks right now, rubbing his thumb over his lower lip as he considers his words carefully.

“Sukuna, what is it?”

You hear him exhale. “Nothing,” he tells you. “I just wanted to let you know that I miss you.”

“We saw each other yesterday,” you say teasingly. You wish you could leave the conversation there, but you know there must be some other reason why he’s decided to call you out of nowhere. You know Sukuna. You know that there’s something going on. “What did you really call me about though?”

“Nothing,” he says again. You can tell that he knows he’s not convincing you. “I just thought… you remember when we snuck into that reservoir?”

You groan at the memory. The two of you were stupid back then, trying to escape the realities that you lived in. But you have to admit it was fun.

“Of course I do,” you tell him. “You called me just to remind me of that?”

He laughs, the memory apparently just as fun for him as it was for you. “That was when I knew.”

“Knew what?”

“You’re really gonna make me say it?”

You frown. “Sukuna, what are you talking about?”

You hear him sigh. Hear him ruffle something. Probably his hair. “That’s when I knew that I loved you,” he tells you softly.

You nearly drop the phone. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to say it,” he says. “I just thought you should know.”

Now, it’s your turn to be all jumpy. This is just like Sukuna to drop something on you like that. To drop the fact that he loves you, just like that. The fact that he’s apparently loved you for a while now.

“I love you too.”

The words hang in the air for a while. You’ve told him you loved him before, but that was always different. Always spoken beneath the cover of your friendship. Never something that meant anything important.

But is it really different this time?

You try to keep the thought out of your mind.

“‘Kuna? You there?”

“I’m here.”

You clear your throat. “Is that really why you called?”

“Yeah…” he says. “I just—yeah. I just wanted you to know that I love you.”

notes. me while writing this: *just sweats profusely*

[candycandy00]

Once Upon a Time - A Toji x Reader Fanfic Part 1

Retold fairytales featuring the JJK men! This is Snow White featuring Toji! You live in a snowy village and have a crush on your handsome neighbor Toji, unaware that he’s been hired by the queen to kill you. 

Read Choso x Rapunzel Here!

Read Sukuna x Sleeping Beauty Here!

Read Gojo x Cinderella Here!

Smut. 18+. Fem Reader. Reader as Snow White. Age gap (Reader is early 20’s, Toji is mid 30’s). Slight size difference kink.

Dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more and @benkeibear

Oh no, the bread is burning! You drop the pins you’d been using to secure your hair beneath your kerchief and rush over to the oven, using a thick towel to grip the iron pan and pull it from the heat. 

You made it in time, thank god. The bread is perfectly baked, soft and plump and warm. You place it in a basket lined with cloth and cover it with a cute, decorative towel, then finish getting ready. You want to look as nice as possible for this. 

The trip is a very short one, just two houses away in your small village, to a rather plain and dark little cottage. Snow has piled up in the yard, and flakes of it blow around your face in light, cold gusts. You straighten your dress and take a deep breath before knocking on the wooden door. In just a few moments, it opens. 

He appears in the doorway, the man called Toji. He’s wearing dark pants and shirt that do little to hide his incredible physique. Tall and muscular, with sharp eyes and black hair. His annoyed expression only softens a little when he sees who is at his door. 

“Oh, it’s you,” he says. He doesn’t seem particularly happy to see you, and that makes you deflate just a bit. “What do you need?”

You fidget a bit with the handle of the basket, which suddenly feels heavy and awkward in your hands. “I thought you might be hungry… and, um… I baked bread!”

He glances at the basket, then back to your face. You must be blushing by now, so you have trouble meeting his intense gaze. 

Toji sighs, then takes the basket from your hands. “Thanks,” he mumbles as he closes the door in your face. 

Well, that didn’t exactly go as planned. You’d imagined him inviting you in to enjoy the bread with him, but you should have known better. Oh well, at least you now you can come back later to retrieve your basket. 

Disappointed and a bit dejected, you a walk back to the home you share with your bedridden father. Snow crunches beneath your shoes, seeping in to make your socks cold and damp. 

You’ve been in love with Toji for two years now, but he rarely gives you more than a passing glance. When he first moved into the village, you avoided him like everyone else. He was a big scary man who didn’t talk much and kept to himself. There were rumors that he used to be a member of the royal guard, that he’d been married once but his wife mysteriously disappeared, that he had a son out there somewhere that no one has seen. All of it was enough to make you steer clear of him at all cost. 

That all changed when a massive, violent boar began ravaging the village at night. It destroyed crops, killed pets and livestock, and even seriously injured several villagers who had tried to chase it away. It eventually killed a child, and the whole village realized something had to be done. Two different hunting parties tried to kill the boar, and both failed. The men returned with wounds and defeated expressions. 

Then one morning, Toji walked into the village with the boar, very much dead, slung across his shoulder. Turns out, he’d been a royal Huntsman before leaving the castle. The villagers warmed up to him then, hosting a huge feast using the boar’s meat. Toji remained quiet and unfriendly for the most part, though he did seem happy to receive the payment the villagers gathered for him. 

Still, you’ll never forget the sight of him with that boar over his shoulder, how powerful and confident he looked. You fell for him that day. 

Since then, you’ve tried to get to know him better. You’ve tried striking up conversations when you see him at the market, paying him to help you do simple repairs around your house, and even cooking for him. He accepts any jobs you offer and takes the free food, but his behavior toward you hasn’t improved. He’s displayed no interest in you at all, and you’re on the verge of giving up. You’re considering just telling him how you feel so that he can reject you properly and you can move on, but you’re afraid of the inevitable embarrassment. 

You suppose you can simply admire him in silence for a little while longer. 

Toji opens the basket and pulls out the bread. It’s still warm, so he bites off a chunk and chews slowly, savoring the taste and trying not to think about the lovely young woman who baked it. 

Toji is a lot of things, but he’s no fool. He knows his sweet neighbor is attracted to him. Whether she realizes it or not, she’s made it obvious. And Toji is flattered. 

If he were ten years younger, he’d have already had her pinned beneath him in his bed, her legs trembling on either side of his waist. But now? Now he’d rather avoid the trouble. 

He could invite her in, give her a good fucking, and she’d no doubt enjoy it. But the problems would come after. What if she got pregnant? He doesn’t want to deal with that, not again. Even worse, what if she developed genuine feelings for him? More drama he simply has no interest in at his age. Better to go to a brothel in town to get his occasional needs met. 

The girl is just too sweet for him. Too innocent. She’s as pure as freshly fallen snow, and someone like him would only taint her beyond recognition. 

He drops into a chair near the fireplace as he finishes off the bread, bitter at himself for lacking the willpower to reject the food she makes for him. 

Ah well, if he spends less on food, maybe he can save up enough to pay off his gambling debts. 

While thinking these things, he hears a knock at his door. Has she come back for her basket? In hindsight, he really shouldn’t have taken it. He grabs it from the table as he walks to the door, so he can push it into her hands and close the door before he’s tempted to let her in. 

When he opens the door, basket in hand, he’s surprised to find a royal guard standing on his doorstep. The man is tall, not quite as broad as Toji, and wearing a crisp royal uniform in red and silver. Snow flakes blow into Toji’s house, whipping around the guard who seems unbothered by the frosty air. 

Toji frowns. “What do you want?”

“You’ve been summoned by the queen,” the guard says, all formal language and behavior. 

“I don’t work for the crown anymore,” Toji tells him, his hand unconsciously gripping the handle of the basket. 

“The queen is aware of that,” the guard says, “so she is prepared to pay you handsomely for your services.”

This gives Toji pause. He has no love or loyalty for the queen, having left partially because of her selfish and cruel rules. She puts on a kind and wise face for the masses, but he’s been her personal guard a few times and knows what she’s like beneath the public mask. 

But he needs money. He’s been banned from three different gambling houses in three different nearby towns. Soon he’ll be out of places to go to feed his addiction. 

With a shrug, he leaves the basket on the floor and steps outside, closing the door behind him. 

A nondescript carriage is waiting for him. Not a royal one. This must be a job the queen wants to keep quiet. Toji can guess the nature of it, considering the things she had him do while he was in her service. 

Assassination. Murder. Taking out potential threats to her rule or, more accurately, people she just didn’t like. 

The ride to the castle takes over an hour, moving slowly over icy roads. By the time Toji arrives, he’s feeling restless and bored. 

Guards line the walkway leading up to the entrance, and they all stand silently as Toji walks by. They probably all know who he is, even if they haven’t met him. He’s been told that his reputation for being the strongest royal guard still holds up today. 

He’s led to the queen’s private chambers, and the guard who brought him steps out, leaving Toji alone with the beautiful ruler. 

The queen is sitting in a high backed golden chair. Not quite a throne, but close enough. She’s already dressed for bed, and Toji worries that she’s going to invite him to her bed again. He refused the first time, not because he didn’t find her physically attractive, but because her personality is quite repulsive. 

In truth, the queen is a stunning woman, but that very fact makes her vain and twisted. He remembers well the bizarre games she used to play, making random guards declare her more beautiful than their wives, sometimes in front of their wives. 

She stands up, regarding him with her golden honey eyes. “You look good, Toji.”

He grins. “Thanks.”

He was probably supposed to say “So do you,” but he likes the quiet anger his response provokes in her face. 

She frowns, but continues as if she’s not offended. “I have a job for you, one I’m willing to pay an exorbitant amount of coin for.”

He crosses his arms over his chest. “I’m listening.”

“I need you to eliminate someone for me,” she says. Of course. He expected that. 

“Who?” he asks, prepared to memorize a name and location. 

The queen walks over to a nearby wall and draws back a curtain, revealing a huge oval mirror trimmed in gold. 

Toji can’t suppress a sigh. He hasn’t forgotten the way she asked this supposedly magic mirror every night if she was still the most beautiful woman in the kingdom. 

She glances back at him, then faces the mirror and begins her “incantation”. 

“Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

The mirror always shows the queen her own reflection, because that’s what mirrors do. Toji has always thought someone played a hilarious trick on her when they sold her this mirror. 

But to his shock, the mirror shows a different face this time. To his even greater shock, it’s a face he recognizes. In fact, the young woman in the mirror was at his doorstep earlier this afternoon, with a basket of baked bread. 

Toji keeps his face straight, not wanting to show any reaction. The queen stares at him, as if she expects something from him. Does she already know this girl lives in the same village as him? 

“Who is she?” Toji finally asks, interested in how much the queen knows. 

“A loose end I failed to take care of twenty years ago,” she replies, looking at the mirror now instead of him. 

“What does that mean?”

Her eyes shift back to his face. “Never mind. Let’s just call her a threat to my rule and leave it at that. I want you to kill her, as soon as possible.”

Toji chuckles. “Because your fancy mirror says she’s prettier than you?”

The rage in the queen’s eyes makes him regret the comment. He doesn’t fear the queen, or anyone she could send to attack him. He’s the best assassin she’s ever had, after all. But dealing with all of that would be a huge annoyance, one he’d rather avoid. 

Her angry expression morphs into a wicked smile. “Poor, simple Toji. You wouldn’t understand the complexities of rulership. Just do as you’re told, and you’ll be paid.”

He ignores the insult. She’s obviously just trying to bite back. “Alright. Give me a name and a location.”

The queen speaks the young woman’s name as if it’s venom on her tongue, then says, “You should be familiar with her location, Toji. She lives in your village.”

Toji shrugs. “Oh yeah, she looks a little familiar.”

“So you’ll take the job?” 

“Sure,” Toji says. “Give me a day or two and I’ll take care of it. Have my payment ready.”

He turns to walk out, but the queen’s silky voice stops him. 

“Toji… make it messy. Make her suffer. I want her face ruined.”

He glances back at her, then smiles. “Whatever you say, Your Majesty.”

You wake up early the next morning and tend the fireplace, staying near it for several minutes to warm up. You get breakfast ready before waking your father and sitting a tray of food in front of him. 

“Delicious as always, dear,” he tells you, his voice frighteningly weak. He’s been sick for two years, of an ailment you don’t quite understand. The village doctor told you there’s no cure, so all you can do is try to make him comfortable. 

You don’t mind taking care of him. He raised you with love, all alone after your mother died. He was a builder, being especially good at making furniture, before his illness rendered him unable to work. Luckily he’d saved back enough coin for the two of you to survive, but you try to be frugal. 

Tucking him back into bed after he finished his meal, you kiss the top of his head. “You just rest, father. I’ll be taking care of some chores today.”

He smiles up at you. “Don’t stay out in the cold too long.”

“I won’t,” you tell him. Luckily most of the things you need to do today are indoor chores. 

You get right to work, cleaning the kitchen of the mess breakfast left, sweeping the floors, and making your bed. It’s early in the afternoon when you hear a knock at your door. 

Smoothing your dress as you walk to the door, you wonder who it could be. You don’t often receive unexpected guests. So when you open the door to find Toji standing just outside, your heart skips a beat. 

He holds your basket out to you. “Here,” he says, “I didn’t mean to take it. Sorry about that.”

You take the basket from him, feeling slightly dazed. He’s never come to your house before without being hired to do something. “Oh, that’s alright,” you manage to squeak out, “I have another one.”

He smiles at you, maybe for the first time, and says, “I’m heading into the forest to gather some firewood. I thought maybe you’d like to come with me and keep me company.”

He… he wants you to come with him? Oh my. That bread must have done the trick! You can’t stop a grin from spreading over your face. “I’d love to go! Just let me go tell my father I’ll be stepping out for a while.”

Toji nods, then adds, “Wear something warm!”

You hurry to your father’s room and tell him you’re going out to “help a neighbor with something”. Not a lie, but you left out some details. You’re an adult, so it’s not like you need his permission, but you don’t want him to worry about anything. 

Next you pull on thick wool socks, boots, gloves, scarf, and finally a heavy cloak over your dress. You don’t want to cut the outing short because you got too cold. Before joining Toji, you walk over to the house next door and ask them to check in on your father while you’re gone. 

With everything taken care of, you step over to Toji’s side and walk with him into the woods, feeling giddy with excitement. 

He drags a wooden wagon behind him, making it seem effortless. “Wanna sit down and ride?” he asks when he notices you looking at it. “It’ll be full of wood on the way back.”

You smile. “Thanks, but I think I’d rather walk.”

The snow is thick, but your boots are well equipped to handle it. You’ve spent your life in a village that gets heavy snowfall every winter, so you’re accustomed to walking in it. 

“So what happened to your mother?” Toji suddenly asks. 

The question catches you off guard for a moment, but doesn’t bother you. He wants to know more about you! That’s a good thing! 

“She died during childbirth,” you tell him. “I never met her.”

“Sorry to hear it,” he says, his eyes shifting away from you to focus on a large branch in your path. He tosses it out of the way as he asks another question. “Got any other family? Besides your father I mean.”

“None that I’ve met. My father has a sister who lives far away from here, I’m told.”

“Hmm.”

That was a strange response. He seems to be thinking your answers over, as if he’s trying to figure something out. After a few moments of walking, he stops and motions around him. “This is the spot. Lots of fallen branches and trees. You can sit on the wagon while I work.”

You’d like to help him gather wood, but you realize you’d probably just get in the way. Instead you watch him work. He lugs heavy logs into one end of the wagon as if they weigh nothing at all, snapping thick branches as if they’re made of paper. 

At some point he pauses and looks at you. “What is it you like about me anyway?”

You freeze, staring at him as your face turns hot. He knows?! “Uh… well… I…”

He laughs, tossing another log onto the wagon before stepping closer to you. “Sorry if I embarrassed you. I just got the impression you’re interested in me. Unless I’m reading you wrong.”

You look down at your boots as you fiddle with the ends of your scarf. “I like you. I have for a while now,” you say. “It started when you killed that boar. I thought you must be really brave and kind to hunt it down after it killed a child.”

You chance a glance at Toji, curious about his reaction. He’s looking off into the woods, not at you, with an unreadable expression on his face. 

“I’m not as great as you think I am,” he says, so low you almost miss it. 

You stand up from the wagon. “Of course you are! You didn’t have to help the village, but you did! Even though people were spreading those rumors about you.”

He looks at you then. “What rumors?” His tone is more playful than offended. 

You hesitate, but decide to tell him the truth. “People in the village were saying you had a wife once but she mysteriously disappeared.”

His expression doesn’t change, but his eyes seem a little sad. “She didn’t disappear. She died.”

You place a hand over your mouth in shock. “I’m so sorry!”

He smiles. “It’s okay. It was a long time ago. Any other rumors?”

You instantly think of one, but you’re not sure if you should mention it. Toji looks at you expectantly, so you take a breath and say, “Just one. They said you have a son, but no one has ever seen him.”

“That one’s true,” he says. “I do have a son, but he lives with his mother’s family for now.”

You perk up. “Oh? How old is he?”

Toji thinks for a moment, which seems strange to you. “I guess he must be seven by now.”

You know you probably shouldn’t ask the next question, but curiosity is getting the best of you. “Do you not see him often?”

Again, that sadness creeps into his eyes. “No, not often. It’s been two years since the last time I visited him. It’s a three day journey both ways, and the people he’s staying with don’t exactly welcome me with open arms.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” you tell him, meaning every word.

His eyes meet yours again. “What do you think of me now, knowing I have a kid I don’t take care of?”

You take a moment to gather your thoughts, then say, “I think you’re doing the best you can, and you’d like to see your son more often. I still think you’re a good man.”

Toji laughs and looks away, continuing to gather wood. 

A little later, you notice the snow is getting heavier and the wind stronger. You recognize these signs. A blizzard is rolling in. You look at the sky, at the dark gray clouds hovering over the woods, and pull your cloak more tightly around you. A gust of icy wind blows past, making you shiver. 

Suddenly Toji is standing right in front of you, pulling off his heavy coat and draping it over your shoulders. “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t have asked a lady to come out in this cold.”

“No, it’s fine!” you say quickly. “I’m used to being in the cold! You should keep your coat, Toji. You’ll get sick.”

He grins down at you. “I’ve never been sick in my life.”

You snuggle into his coat while he goes back to his task. It carries the warmth of his body heat and smells like him. 

At some point the snow and the wind become so strong, Toji has to stop. He looks over the wood in his wagon and says, “This’ll have to do. But I don’t know if we can make it back to the village in this weather.”

You stand up, alarmed. “What should we do?”

He looks at the sky, then into the trees, his gaze leading deeper into the forest. “There’s a hunting cabin nearby. We’ll have to stay there until the snow lets up.”

Your heart flutters. The thought of being stuck in a cabin alone with Toji has you feeling heated, but…

“I’m worried about my father,” you say. 

“You asked someone to check on him, right? They’ll probably look after him tonight.”

“I suppose so,” you say, turning to follow Toji as he begins to pull his wagon. 

The trek through the snowy woods is a short one. Only ten minutes of walking lead you to a small cabin. It’s dark and plain, but in this winter storm it looks like a paradise. 

Toji parks his wagon out front and then opens the door, ushering you inside before pulling it shut. It’s pitch dark inside, so much so that you can’t see your hand in front of your face. You hear Toji say something, but it sounds like he’s far away, and the raging wind outside drowns out his voice. 

Just when you’re starting to worry, a faint glow appears, then Toji emerges from what you assume is another room, carrying a small candle. He reaches it to you, then lights another. “I’ll get the fireplace going,” he says as his light moves away again. 

You hear noises, familiar sounds to you, and after a few minutes, a fire lights up. It grows quickly in strength until the whole room is illuminated. You move closer to the fire for warmth as Toji stands up from his kneeling position in front of the fireplace. He doesn’t say anything as he begins lighting more candles and sitting them in various places around the living room and kitchen. 

With all the candles and the roaring fire, you can now see the interior of the cabin quite clearly. It’s very rustic, with scant furnishings. It’s obviously not designed for long stays, but for hunters to rest overnight or wait out a storm. 

The living room has two wooden chairs and a single small table. There’s an old rug that does nothing to cover the dusty hardwood floor. The kitchen is basically a nook off the west side of the living room. There’s a simple stove, a sink, and a table that would seat no more than four people. 

The place is surprisingly cozy, and the fire is very warm, so you slip off Toji’s coat and your own cloak before sitting down on the rug in front of the fireplace. You pull off your gloves and hold your hands as close to the flames as you can stand. 

You almost don’t notice Toji sitting down beside you. His movements are so quick and quiet, like a shadow sneaking along the wall. You’d think such a big man would be hard to miss, but somehow Toji manages to disappear every now and then. 

“Warm now?” he asks, pulling off his own gloves. 

You smile up at him. “Yes, thank you.”

He scoots closer to you, until his thick shoulder is touching yours. “We’ll be warmer if we share body heat.”

Your heart skips. You’ve never been this close to him before. Suddenly the cabin feels hot, and you find yourself tugging at the collar of your dress to let a little air in. You glance at his face, only to find him looking right at you. 

With this atmosphere, this closeness, maybe it’s the right time. You tilt your head up and meet his gaze. “Toji… I don’t just like you. I’m in love with you.”

His eyes widen slightly, but before you can say another word, he leans down and kisses you. His lips feel cool against your heated ones, and you close your eyes as his arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you closer. 

You press into the kiss, tugging at his shirt with your hands, encouraging him. You’ve wanted this for so long, you can’t bear the thought of stopping now. 

Toji eases you onto your back on the rug, then pulls his shirt over his head. The fire light dances across his muscular chest and makes his green eyes gleam. Oh god, he’s so beautiful. 

He reaches down and unties the laces at the front of your dress, loosening it enough to pull the top of it down your shoulders, exposing your supple breasts. You raise up enough to help him pull your dress down your hips and off your body, leaving only plain cotton panties. He kisses you again as his hands slide the panties down your legs, finally baring your whole body to him. 

Your skin is flushed in the flame’s shifting light, but your eyes are drawn to Toji as he pulls off his remaining clothes. His body is perfection, like a statue of a god. 

When he lays down beside you, his strong hands begin exploring your body, his skin hot on yours. You curve into him, against him, as one warm hand slips between your thighs. His movements are gentle, but his hunter’s fingers are rough as they probe your tender, glazed flesh. 

With a shudder and a gasp, you close your eyes again and focus on the pleasure, on the way his thumb circles your clit, the way his firm body is pressed against you. It’s building up inside you, something powerful and radiant, ready to burst free. Your shaking hands grip his forearm as a mewling cry escapes you. 

Then, suddenly, the pleasure overflows within you. Your body quivers on the rug as the orgasm ripples through you, finally leaving you breathless. 

Toji gives you a few moments to catch your breath, his eyes watching you with his intense gaze. Then he rolls over onto you, pinning your body beneath him. He holds himself up with his arms to avoid crushing you, but you’re still effectively caged in under him. 

And you love it. 

You open your legs, letting his body slide in between. You can feel his rock hard cock brushing against you, and you look up at him with eager eyes. His expression is partially shadowed, but he leans down and kisses you again as he finally pushes himself inside you. 

He takes it slow, moving with the grace of someone who knows exactly what he’s doing and has full control over his own body. He easily strikes a rhythm that gradually takes him deeper while rubbing the spots within you that make you moan out his name. 

Your legs encircle his waist, your arms wrapping tightly around his neck. You hold onto him with all your might as the blizzard rages outside, the wind howling in your ears. 

For these brief moments beneath him, all of it falls away. The storm, your concern for your father, your worry that this only a one time thing for Toji. Your mind can only focus on the searing pleasure, the feeling of being full of him, his hands hot on your skin. 

You cum again, trembling under him, your weakened limbs loosing their grip and falling to the rug. When Toji finishes, he kisses you again as he cums inside you, his cock buried as deeply as possible until he’s emptied himself. 

He pulls out and rolls off you, leaving you totally spent and panting. Your eyelids feel heavy as you watch him stand up, grab his coat from the floor, and drape it over you. 

Within seconds, you fall asleep, lulled by the wind outside the cabin and the warmth of the fire. 

Toji sighs as he pulls on his clothes, already regretting the decisions he’s made today. 

His plan was to take his sweet neighbor, and target, out into the woods and then to this cabin. He knew the weather would get bad, knew they’d be forced to take shelter in this quiet, isolated place. 

Toji thought he’d do her a kindness by giving her the fucking she so obviously wanted from him before he kills her. 

But now, as he looms over her unguarded, sleeping form, knife in hand, he’s thinking his plan was flawed. He doesn’t want to kill her. He’s already decided to kill her in her sleep, so she doesn’t feel pain or fear, and mess up her lovely face afterward. The stupid bitch of a queen won’t know if he did it before or after death. 

He clenches the knife tightly, bringing it close to her neck. She shifts slightly, her face turning toward him but her eyes remaining closed. “Toji….” she murmurs, a faint smile on her lips. All he can think about is how those lips tasted on his own. 

“Fuck,” he mutters, lowering the knife to his side. He can’t do it. Not because he’s too moral or righteous. He’s never been either of those things. He just doesn’t want to kill her. 

Something the queen said is still rattling in his brain. “A loose end,” she called her. What did that mean? Is this young woman related to the queen? The mystery is eating at Toji, and he won’t be able to rest until he figures it out. 

He sits down in one of the two chairs and watches his new lover sleep, deciding to tell her the truth in the morning.  

[keikikait]

ᴄʀᴜꜱʜ (ɢᴏᴊᴏ x ꜰ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ)

this is part 2 of my previous fic, which you can find here

for my other gojo smut, click here!

pairing: gojo x f!reader (not au, gojo is 29, reader is early-mid 20’s)

word count: 2.5k

summary: you’re home from your teacher retreat to nikko, ready for the new term. what you’re not ready for? gojo to come home to you. 

warnings: (FOR THIS PART) SMUT - 18+ ONLY! MDNI, dom!gojo and sub!reader, protected sex (pill, not mentioned but its there) degrading (he uses the word slut), hair pulling, nipple play, spitplay (bye….), light edging, finger/thumb sucking (don’t look at me), use of the words [cock, cunt, and tits], slight oral (f receiving), a bit of angst & a bit of mean gojo, nickname use [baby, pretty girl, doll], no use of y/n

a note: i know i said this would be out next week but it was my day off so i wrote it all today. this is less angst, more smut, but i can’t help myself so there is some angst. also, im sorry i made gojo such an asshole, i promise that he will get better! part 3 will be out soon my loves.

please reblog and like, it means a lot! let me know what you think!

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

Your eyes are already open when your alarm goes off. 

You didn’t sleep at all. There was no point, even after you finished crying your head hurt too much to sleep, even with some painkillers. You laid there, wide awake all night thinking about Gojo. Did he think of you, too? You turn the alarm off and slide out of bed, your slipper-covered feet shuffling as you make your way around your apartment. 

You brush your teeth and look in the mirror. Your eyes are puffy and swollen, mascara smeared down your cheeks. You pop some spoons in the freezer to cool as you clean yourself up and get dressed. Your phone sits untouched on the bedside table, still plugged in.

You sit on the side of your bed, pressing the now cold spoons against your swollen eyes. You take deep breaths, trying to relax. You had every right to be upset, after all. Gojo has no reason to string you along, whispering sweet nothings in your ear at night about how you’re his girl, his doll, his everything. But that’s exactly what that was. Nothing. Maybe, you think, this is some kind of karma. Some sort of punishment for your arrogance, for thinking you could have what everyone else wants, Gojo, and here—at last—it was.

You put on some de-puffing undereye patches that you keep in the fridge and clean your entire apartment spotless to distract yourself, music blasting from the phone in your back pocket. You finally throw out that dead fern you got as a gift from the school board when you first started, and you finally clean out your fridge of the now moldy condiments you tried once on a whim. You’re washing dishes when the front door opens and, suddenly, Gojo steps inside. He had opted for his dark blue circular sunglasses today, an odd choice for the winter but you didn’t mind it. “Hi,” you say, surprised, pulling off the bright marigold gloves and setting them on the side of the sink to dry. For a second, you think about the absolute state of your eyes. The swelling and puffiness had gone down, and even though he had never seen you cry, you think about the fact that even if he noticed your eyes he wouldn’t care enough to ask questions.

“Hey,” is all Gojo says in response. You wait to see if he says anything else, or if he is going to try to explain himself, but he doesn’t, and eventually moves across your apartment to head to the bathroom. You hesitate before you make your way after him, passing his duffel bag on the floor of your closet, which was unzipped and filled with enough clothes that it was clear that he was going to stay for a while.

You feel pathetic admitting it to yourself but having Gojo there — not just in your apartment, but in your room — feels nice. He doesn’t speak to you yet, but his very presence steadies and refocuses you. As grateful as you are that he came back to you, you are also a little disappointed in yourself, by how dependent you are, how weak. Who were you without him?

Eventually, he faces you, peering at you over the top of his glasses. “Hey, pretty girl.”

You swallow hard, willing yourself to be strong, to finally confront him about all of the false promises and the date with Himiko, but you can’t. Not yet. “Hi, Gojo.”

He smiles, reaching you with just one step and collecting you in his arms, wrapping them tightly around your hips. He leans down and kisses you, for the first time in almost nine days, and you feel yourself giving up, giving all power to him.

After a few seconds, he pulls away, smirking. “I missed you. I’m sorry that I didn’t come home last night…I got carried away.”

You’ve noticed over the past eleven months (yes, you kept track) of your situationship that he uses that term a lot; carried away. He uses it when he gets a little too handsy during the free periods at work and when he stares at you a bit too long during staff meetings. He uses it when he forgets to call or text you and when it seems like you’re the last thing on his mind. Maybe you are. 

You smile, shrugging. “Don’t worry about it, baby. I’m just glad you’re here now.”

He grins, gently running his hands up your back, lightly scratching his nails against you, making you shiver. “Of course. I always come back home to you.” He bends at the knees and picks you up, carrying you the short distance to your bed before laying you down and climbing on top of you. Excitement fills your body as he leans down and starts placing soft kisses along your neck. You arch into him, whining and tugging on his sleeves, and he chuckles. “Relax, doll. Quit acting so desperate. You’re not in charge here, remember?”

You feel drool pool in your mouth and you quickly swallow it. “I’m sorry, Gojo, it’s just that —”

He interrupts you, sliding his thumb into your mouth to shut you up. “I know, baby, I know. You went eight whole days without my touch and now you’re acting like a desperate little slut,” You nod, hoping he won’t tease you this time. He smirks at the dumb look on your face before saying, “Open.” You do, opening your mouth wide and sticking your tongue out a little. He pulls his thumb away and draws back briefly before spitting into your open mouth. You swallow it without his command. You know what he likes.

He grins, kissing your lips once more before kissing down your chin and neck, slowly sliding off your t-shirt. You whine and squirm under him, and after he pulls your shirt off he clamps his hand over your mouth. “Shut up. If you keep whining, I won’t fuck you at all. Is that what you want?” You shake your head vigorously, that’s the last thing you want. He removes his hand before continuing, “Good. Don’t speak unless I tell you to,” You nod, relaxing into your sheets as he kisses down your chest. He pushes your bra up over your tits, groaning as he squeezes them in his hands. “Fuck. I missed my girls.” You would normally scold him for objectifying you, but at this moment you didn’t care. You wanted his hands on you, and you wanted his dick inside of you as soon as possible.

He takes the sunglasses off and brings one of your nipples to his mouth, lightly brushing his lips against it to tease you. He sticks his tongue out and drags it along your nipple in circles, loving the way your thighs fall open and the little sounds you make. He finally, finally sucks your nipple into his mouth, pinching the other one hard just to feel you squirm. He rolls your bare nipple between his fingers while he lightly nibbles on the one in his mouth. Your head is spinning, and all you can do is tug on his hair as he teases you. He lets go of your nipple with a wet pop, a string of saliva connecting it to his lips. He picks it up on his finger and rubs it on your face just to humiliate you.

He kisses down your torso, tugging down your pyjama bottoms and tossing them onto the floor. He kisses your thighs as he pushes them up and against your chest so you’re nice and spread out for him, just as he likes. He notices the wet spot on your plain blue cotton underwear and smirks, rubbing at it with his thumb. “Someone’s eager, aren’t they?”

You take it you can respond to him now. “Fuck, Gojo, please! Please stop teasing me, I already went eight days without you.” The whine in your voice makes him feel so big, so powerful. He barely touches you and you’re already crumbling at his feet. Maybe he should keep you there.

He makes that condescending tsk tsk tsk sound that normally annoys you, but now you can’t help it and you whine and squirm even more. “You’re so desperate, baby. You can’t even handle a little teasing?” He presses his thumb right against your clit, the wet spot spreads even more. “I guess you do have a point, though. I haven’t made you cum since we left for Nikko.” He kisses right above the hem of your underwear before pulling it down, the blue fabric now dangling around your ankle. He moans, pushing your legs back even further and spreading your cunt. 

He spits directly onto your pink little hole, watching as it mixes with your juices. In this moment, you’re his. You’re his everything, his girl, his doll. In this moment you actually mean something to him, when you’re spread out and begging for his attention. He runs his pointer finger down your slit, collecting some spit before dragging it back up to your clit and lightly circling it.

You almost cum on the spot. Days of pent-up horniness and teasing and you’re as sensitive as ever. You bite your lip, looking over at him with nothing but love and affection in your gaze. “Please, Gojo. Please don’t tease me. I don’t know if I can handle it.”

He gets comfortable, moving your thighs over his shoulders as he lays down on the bed. “You’ll take what I give you. Don’t disappoint me.” He circles your clit with his finger one last time before leaning down and sucking it into his mouth. You arch your back, your hands finding solace in his hair as you writhe and moan. He moans at your taste, gripping your hips hard as he gets lost in your cute little cunt. You grind against his face, and he lets you, loving the feeling of your clit against his tongue. He teases your hole with his fingers, sliding his thumb in as he swirls his tongue around your clit in circles. You clench up tight, mumbling praises along with I’m gonna cum! Please let me cum! before he pulls away completely. He laughs at the noise you make, and at the way your face contorts and tears well in your eyes. He slaps the inside of your thigh before standing up and unbuttoning his pants. “Oh, come on. Be a good girl for me, okay?”

You move up on the bed, your back supported by your pillows as he climbs over you. You’ve seen his dick a lot, more times than you can count, but the sheer size of it always surprises you. Thick and long, slightly curved to the left, with a pretty pink tip to match. His balls are big, too, full of cum and practically begging to be in your mouth, which waters as soon as you see it. 

Gojo looms over you, pushing you onto the bed as he slides in between your legs and gets comfortable. He rubs his tip against you, getting it nice and wet so you don’t struggle with the size as he fucks you, at least not too much. In a moment of pure intimacy, he reaches his hand up and rubs his thumb against your cheek, looking at you with an almost adoring gaze. You go to say something to him but all words escape your throat as he pushes his cock into you. You both moan in unison as he slides in and out slowly.

“God,” he groans, leaning down on his elbows and getting right in your face. “I missed you so much, baby. I know I’m such a dick to you, I just can’t help it, you look so cute when you’re angry…fuck, you feel so good.” He isn’t vocal in bed very often, and your heart swells as you get to watch him come undone and make such pretty noises as he does. 

In the heat of the moment, you forgive him. You know you’ll probably regret it, but you can’t stay mad at him when he’s looking at you like you’re the only woman in the world for him. Your smile is cut short by your moan as you manage to say, “It’s okay, Gojo. Please just stay here. Stay here with me.”

Gojo nods, propping himself up on one flat palm as his hips pick up speed. Normally he loves foreplay, he can tease you and edge you for hours, but the time spent without you in his arms and without you wrapped around his cock was too much to bare for him. He knows he fucked up, but he can’t take it back. He’s Satoru Gojo, and he has a reputation he needs to uphold. He’s all run, and you’re all fight, and that’s part of the reason why he feels so drawn to you.

He looks at you, moving to his elbows and reaching up to grab your face and pull you into a kiss. He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, biting his lip as his hips move even faster. He drops back down to his elbows, your chests pressed together as he shakily moans, “Fuck, fuck, fuck, doll, I’m gonna cum.”

You nod, pulling at the hair at the nape of his neck as you cum around him, clenching down on his cock. He buries his face in your neck as he cums after you, cumming inside of you, like he always does. His breathing is ragged as he lays there, his cock twitching inside of you as his cum spills inside. Gojo eventually moves away from your neck, some of his hair matted to his forehead, slick with sweat. You push the hair back and smile at him, kissing his forehead gently. Even if he didn’t love you, you still loved him. And you think you always will.

He pulls out, immediately getting you a towel splashed with some warm water as he cleans you up. He’s gentle with his aftercare, making sure you’re comfortable, and collecting your water bottle from the living room. You pee before getting dressed, laying with him on the bed. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you close, pressing your face into his chest, and sliding his hand into your hair. He holds you there for a while, your breathing in sync before he leans down and kisses your forehead. 

Gojo puts on a cooking show to watch on your TV, setting the remote aside as he holds you close. He strokes your hair, and your mind starts to drift, and you wonder if he cares about you in the same way you care about him. Are you not good enough for him? Is there something wrong with you? Are you not what he wants? Are you not what he needs? You wake up every morning, hopeful for what’s to come with him, but you spend most of your time thinking about what you’ve already had and what he’s already said to you. You’re missing all these memories—maybe they were never even yours. 

Nothing hurts like he does.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧

part 3 is here

[megumismyhusband]

happy birthday megumi!

gumi's bday special

“Hey, Nobara,” Yuji asked, munching on chips while lying on the common room floor. “When’s Megumi’s birthday?”

“How would I know?” Nobara replied, painting her nails. She gave Yuji a suspicious glance. “Why are you asking? You planning something?”

Yuji shrugged. “I just think birthdays are important. What if his is soon, and we miss it?”

“Hmm…” Nobara tapped her chin. “We could ask Gojo-sensei. He knows everything about Megumi.”

Moments later, they found Gojo reclining under a tree in the courtyard, scrolling on his phone.

“Gojo-sensei!” Yuji called out. “When’s Megumi’s birthday?”

Gojo smirked, clearly pleased they’d come to him. “Oh, it’s today—December 22nd.”

The silence was deafening.

“WHAT?!” Yuji and Nobara yelled, startling birds from the nearby trees.

“You’re kidding!” Nobara exclaimed. “Why didn’t he tell us?”

Gojo chuckled, pushing his sunglasses up. “You know Megumi—he probably didn’t want the attention. But hey, lucky for you two, you’ve got me. I’ll grab a cake and some decorations. You two figure out the rest.”

Before they could respond, he was already gone, leaving Yuji and Nobara in a state of panic.

“We have to make him something!” Yuji said.

“Make something?!” Nobara stared at him. “We don’t have time for that!”

“C’mon,” Yuji pleaded. “He’ll appreciate it if it’s handmade. It doesn’t have to be perfect!”

With a groan, Nobara relented, grabbing some craft supplies. “Fine. But this better work.”

Yuji decided on a clay frog, carefully molding it with concentration that bordered on comical. Nobara, after some trial and error, stitched together a small fox plushie.

Meanwhile, Gojo returned with an extravagant cake, streamers, and balloons. But he wasn’t done. With a grin, he pulled out his sleek black credit card. “Go buy him something nice. Sky’s the limit.”

Yuji and Nobara gawked. “Are you serious?” Nobara asked.

“Dead serious,” Gojo replied. “Hurry up!”

They bolted out the door and came back with thoughtful gifts: a sleek black jacket, a limited-edition mystery novel, and a bonsai tree.

By the time they were done decorating Megumi’s dorm, the place looked festive—if slightly chaotic. Streamers crisscrossed the ceiling, balloons bobbed in every corner, and the cake sat in the center of a table surrounded by their handmade gifts and store-bought treasures.

When Megumi walked in that night, he froze. His eyes swept over the room, taking in the decorations, the gifts, and his friends, who were grinning ear to ear.

“Surprise!” they shouted.

He blinked, completely caught off guard. “What… is this?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Nobara said, hands on her hips. “It’s your birthday, isn’t it? Did you really think you could hide it from us?”

Yuji held up the frog and fox, grinning. “We made these for you. They’re not perfect, but we tried.”

“And these are the real gifts,” Nobara said, pointing to the jacket, book, and bonsai tree. “You’re welcome.”

For a long moment, Megumi didn’t say anything. His gaze lingered on the gifts, the decorations, and his friends’ expectant faces. Slowly, his expression softened.

“You guys are ridiculous,” he said, his voice quieter than usual. “But… thank you.”

“Don’t just thank us—smile!” Yuji teased, slinging an arm around Megumi’s shoulders.

To everyone’s surprise, Megumi’s lips curved into a genuine smile. It wasn’t forced or fleeting—it was warm, real, and filled with gratitude.

Nobara froze, then whispered dramatically to Yuji, “Did you see that? He smiled. He actually smiled!”

“I saw!” Yuji whispered back, grinning.

Gojo, snapping a photo from the doorway, beamed. “This is going on the group chat.”

The rest of the evening was filled with laughter, teasing, and cake. Megumi didn’t protest as much as he usually would. For once, he let himself enjoy the moment, surrounded by the people who cared about him the most.

And that rare, genuine smile stayed on his face all night.

[elsecrytt]

Kinktober Day 7

Sensory Deprivation | Crops/Whips | Tentacles

Summary: When Satoru Gojo was freed from the Prison Realm, he was completely catatonic. You've been taking care of him.

Warnings: gojo is traumatized, but when isn’t he? no other warnings, this is actually pretty sweet

Curled up in a ball, knees tucked all the way to his chest, arms wrapped tightly around them as he buries his head there – Satoru Gojo barely makes a sound.

It’s been weeks since he came out of the Prison Realm. You don’t know what it was like in there.

He won’t tell you. He won’t talk at all.

You’d managed to drag him home. After much shouting, worried tears and exclamations, even Megumi grasping him by the shoulders and shaking him; it had all left Satoru as this wilted mess. Cowering in the corner of your room.

What had he seen in there? How long had it been for him? You’d been warned the Prison Realm might have ruined him.

You’re just glad to have him alive. Everything else comes later.

He’s still in survival mode. Not eating or drinking, bodily functions suspended as he holds still in the corner, flinching away from the light.

You turn the lights off in the room, but not before you get up on a stepping stool, sticking glow-in-the-dark stars to the ceiling.

Just in case the darkness reminds him too much of his imprisonment. Not that you would know either way. He's dead silent there. Sometimes you worry if he's still breathing.

You can’t touch him. He’s got infinity on, still. It might be blocking sound, too, or perhaps he’s too catatonic to respond at all.

Whether he can see is anyone’s guess. He shudders like a wounded animal at bright lights so you make sure to keep them off always.

There’s a pumpkin spice scent plugin you find at the store. It smells like sugar and spice and everything nice, just the sort of thing he’s always loved.

You leave it plugged in on low, and soon the thought of seeing him is synonymous with the scent of fresh pumpkin bread.

You hope he likes it. You hope you make him feel a little better when you visit, but you don't know.

Every day you come into the dark room, shutting the door gently behind you so there’s no light. You can just barely see by the light of the glowing stars.

You talk to him softly, almost in a whisper, so it doesn’t overwhelm. You tell him that everyone is so glad he’s back – all his precious students, even his coworkers are relieved. And you, of course.

Satoru doesn’t look up to see your blush. If he hears your voice soften, he doesn’t react.

So you press on. Telling him about your day, how his students were doing. Asking him if he wants anything to eat or drink, and leaving a tray beside him, just in case. And you collect it with greater worry every day, as it goes untouched.

Satoru doesn’t shudder when you open the door anymore. You still don’t like to leave it open.

One day you trip, stumbling in and dropping the tray before you can close the door.

You can’t suppress a frustrated sigh, looking between the tray and Satoru, still hunched in the corner. You stand and turn to close the door, and shut out the light –

There’s a pressure on your foot, something shocking enough for you to jump away, but it’s like you’re clad in irons –

“Satoru?” You whisper instead of yell, purely out of habit.

He’s laying down on his belly, face down, eyes wincing as if he can’t bear to get light in them. But his arm reaches out, hand clutching at your ankle all the same.

It takes you a moment to realize that he’s shaking. Trembling in tight movements like a cat, muscles all tense and straining. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t respond at all, only holds himself in place.

You fall to your knees next to him. Arms around his oversized, gangly form.

Satoru stops shivering as he freezes solid in your embrace. You move to block the light from his eyes, his head tucked into your neck.

“It’s okay,” You murmur, squeezing him, “I’ve got you. I’ve got you, Satoru.”

A jerk. Muscles contracting all at once, something you can feel more than you can see. You can feel him, finally. You can touch him.

His mouth moves, you think, lips slipping over your neck. You don’t hear any sound. He holds you even tighter.

With one hand slipping out of the tight embrace, you stroke his hair. It’s soft, like heaven in your hands. Just familiar enough to make your heart ache.

Satoru turns his face towards yours.

You look and for the first time in a while, you see his eyes.

Terrible. A terrible, awful, beautiful thing to behold. They look like shattered sapphires, a glassy ocean surface, pupils contracted so tightly you’re almost worried for his health.

They take in every minutia, bloodshot and reddened, even though he instantly shuts them tight again.

What was he seeing? What had he seen?

You take the blindfold out, covering his eyes. There’s a sigh, then, one of relief, as you feel his shoulders drop just a little.

There’s something else you’ve brought with you, just in case he’d let you touch him today. A set of noise-cancelling headphones.

Like he’s some kind of frightened animal, you reach around and quickly slip them over his head, on his ears.

Sure enough, he does flinch again at the contact, but quickly he relaxes. Unfolding even more, spine uncurled as he sits up for the first time in a long while.

Satoru sits with his legs in front of him, leaning back with his hands on the floor, supporting him. His lips are open, face half-vacant, half-surprised. But you’re still touching him, he’s letting you.

“Satoru…?” You ask carefully, and then curse yourself, because obviously he can’t hear you.

And he can’t.

Satoru can’t hear anything, for the first time since he came back from hell only to enter a new one.

He can’t hear anything, and it’s perfect. It’s beautiful. It feels like heaven, now.

Like splinters being pulled out from his skin, like a weight lifting from his shoulders, like shade from the blinding sun.

Gone. The infernal, hellish static that made him feel like his insides were being stretched thin like that corpse-skin prison, it’s gone. Just the soft slip of cloth around his eyes, the gentle weight over his head and ears.

Everything is black and calm and perfect again, except he can feel around him. He can feel the ground, the breath in his lungs. It’s not bones and biting curses and timeless madness that feels like it’s turning his brain to mush.

His large hands grope around in the blackness, senses pivoting on every object he touches.

There’s a faint scent in the air, something sweet, and his mouth waters –

Oh. He’s hungry. He’s been hungry for so long, and it’s just hitting him now.

Flesh. Warm and living and not his own. It feels impossible, it feels like a miracle. He darts towards this body that’s not his, on hands and knees, feels a torso knocked over.

He knows this body. Knows each individual piece so intimately; the arms that used to hold him, the hands that feel so familiar cupping his cheek, the smaller legs that twine with his own.

His hands undo your shirt on muscle memory, sliding over the supple skin of your chest, your breasts, feeling the rise and fall of your ribcage in his hands.

A thumb brushes his cheekbone, just under where his eyes is. Wet, it’s wet. Is he crying?

It’s so hard to tell. Everything is warm and soft and he wants to feel more of it. He feels his heart pounding, alive, for the first time in so long. Mouth open, words rumbling from his lips.

Satoru doesn’t even know what he says. He can’t hear it. It’s perfection, pure bliss.

And it lands your lips against his so it couldn’t have been that bad.

He licks back into your mouth, the air tingling against his senses. Sweetness.

He knows this hunger, too. A scent he can barely detect with his eyes and ear closed. So many times, he’d held your underwear to his face to breathe this in. Now, it’s like it’s beckoning him.

The scent alone guides him down your body, the curve of your waist and hips.

Fingers slipping under pants and underclothes, pulling down until the smell of you hits his nose, hot and heady in his lungs.

He wants it. Oh, he wants it.

All he can feel is your hands on his back, holding him. There’s no sound, nothing to see, only the feel of you against him, soft and supple and oh so –

Sweet.

You’re wet, too, under his mouth closing on you. He knew by touch exactly where it was, where to flick his tongue to send your legs twitching at his sides, where to drive his fingers to tease at the edge of your hole.

And the taste. Oh, god! The taste!

It slips over his tongue, coating it headily. Something salty, something sweet, something heady and distinctly you.

It dances over his mouth, and he opens wide to devour more. And he can’t see, so he traces your folds by memory, tongue following the seam of your cunt until it reaches the hood of your clit.

It’s more tender than he remembered. Like this, blind and deaf, he can feel it twitching on his tongue, as eager to be lavished as he is to lavish you.

A hand threads in his hair, and it only urges him on. Closing his mouth over your clit, suckling and pursing his lips.

Stroking gently with his tongue, feeling how your body lean in and away from his presses. He urges and relents, strokes in steady movements, catches on a rhythm that you can’t help but buck into.

Satoru doesn’t hear you, but the tremor of your body is unmistakable against him.

There’s a wicked delight that spurts up in him, something playful and mischievous. He guides your grasping hand to his hair, traces up your chest to hold your throat.

Why hear your moans when he can feel them? Listening for your breaths with the arm on your chest, knowing how your pulse quickens by the fingers on your veins.

He wants to know when you’re close by the feel of you, by touch. Muscle memory awakening in his mind.

The squeeze of you around his tongue telling him to tighten and suckle against your clit, to wedge himself further so you can’t close your legs.

He thinks he likes it better this way. He could live like this forever, just your body on his, like he’s drifting endlessly in the ocean of you.

A hand on his. His name on your lips.

Maybe after a few more, he’ll take the headphones off so he can hear you scream his name.

[goatyuuji]

JJK CHAPTER 261 AND MY THOUGHTS:

Soooooo this chapter was not for everyone lmao but if you ask me personally I am enjoying the direction in which the story is finally moving..261 has so many themes that just hit so hard bro, but I would be breaking them down into just 3 parts (because I would yap for another 3k words otherwise):

1. Breaking the cycle (remains unbroken):

Let’s start with the first person who tried to break the cycle: Toji. Toji, a man blessed with no cursed energy, born in a clan that probably abused him for that fact, tried to break the cycle of curse energy = strength mentality by killing Gojo even when he didn’t have to, he did not have to kill Gojo at all his mission was over, money was paid, he could have left he could have run but no he fights because he wants to prove to the world, to himself, and to the zenin clan that hated his very existence that “look a monkey like me with no cursed energy can take down the pinnacle of jujutsu look”…and we all know how it ends and the cycle continues with the zenin clan still being obsessed with the 10 shadows and Maki (and Mai) being treated like shit.

The second person who tried to break the cycle was: Geto. Geto realized after a failed mission, how little value a sorcerer’s life has in the eyes of a non-sorcerer even when those sorcerers dedicate their entire lives to saving them. He envisioned a world without curses where his fellow companions wouldn’t have to sacrifice their lives to save lives of people that don’t give two fucks about them. He realised how fucked up the jujutsu society really is, how fucked up the higher ups are and how they have no qualms about sending young sorcerers to their deaths. He also starts struggling with the ugliness of humanity and non-sorcerers and their ignorance. And so he tried to change that, he tried to make the world a better place for his friends and fellow sorcerers but he lost his ideals, his mortality and his humanity following the path he chose and in the end lost to a person who was soooo similar to him, who just wanted to save his friends too and prove to himself he deserved to live. And so the cycle continues with the higher ups using and abusing the young sorcerers, and the ones in power not giving a shit about what happens as long as they are comfortable (putting a kill order on Yuuji, making binding vow with Yuuta to kill Yuuji, suspending Hakari and Kirara, killing Yaga, etc).

The third person who tries to break the cycle is: Gojo. Gojo who saw his best friend leave him behind, not just physically but in terms of ideology, who saw his best friend become a monster in order to create a world where his friends and companions can live to their fullest and laugh from the bottom of their hearts, follow an idea so insane that even he couldn’t make sense of, he couldn’t catch up to him, couldn’t catch up to his ideas…so what does he do, he becomes a teacher. He guides young minds and fosters strong people that can overturn the way jjk society works and creates a group of people so strong that they can never be left behind, that will never feel what he felt. But all this crumbs when he comes back after his sealing, Gojo knows he still doesn’t possess the power to change the society the way he wants and if he is gone there is a vacuum in the jjk society that the higher ups can easily use to exploit…and so he kills them, kills them so that the Shibuya incident aftermath (read: Yuuji almost dying, Yaga being dead, Gojo getting framed as a traitor) can not be created again looping back to Geto’s departure and the way he killed an entire village (and for me personally it even loops back to when Gojo expressed his desire to kill the cult members clapping for Riko’s death).

2. Exploitation of the strongest:

Nanami, Higuruma, Junpei all of them are few examples that show themes of exploitation in jjk but there is this cycle of exploitation of the strongest that literally just…it’s too delicious okay:

Geto and Kenjaku - Every single Kenjaku victim deserves their own exploitation post but Geto was probably one of his best hosts since firstly, Geto was a special grade sorcerer and in Kenjaku’s own words “Special Grade rank signifies the ability to single-handedly overthrow nations, that obviously true for Gojo Satoru but Suguru Geto can also wield a Grotesque army through his cursed manipulation (ch. 203)”, and secondly his curse technique can literally allow him to claim any unclaimed curse which is just bonkers. But not only that, oh no no no the ultimate trump card that Kenjaku uses Geto for was to exploit Gojo emotionally. He made a six eyes user doubt his own technique and the funny part is: he was right. Gojo’s six eyes told him that it was Geto Suguru but his soul, HIS SOUL knew otherwise. And that emotional trump card was bigger than what any other host could provide.

Megumi and Sukuna- From the very start of his show, we have seen Sukuna obsess about Megumi and his curse technique. He has even admitted that Megumi, as he grows stronger, can literally defeat him and kill him. For more than 200 chapters we have seen Sukuna devise a plan to make Megumi as his vessel, so that he can get the 10 shadows/Mahoraga. He even exploits Megumi’s curse technique after the body possession to kill off Megumi’s sister and totally submerge his soul into the abyss.

Gojo and Yuuta- The chapter was so good that we looped back to the themes of exploiting the strongest but only this time not one, BUT TWO STRONGEST SORCERERS getting exploited at the same time. On one hand we have Gojo Satoru, who has always been seen as a weapon since the day he was born, been used as a tool by the higher ups, been used and seen as nothing but strength incarnate till the day he took his last breath and getting his body used as a tool again even after his death. He even got emotionally exploited by Kenjaku and his mind games during Shibuya. On the other hand we have Okkotsu Yuta, a kid who didn’t even know he comes from a great dynasty of Jujutsu sorcerers until he accidentally cursed his friend, who meets a guy that saved his life and helped him get back onto his feet almost a year ago…sees the loneliness and isolation that man subjects himself to and wants to help him in return too, he wants him to share the burden and not suffer alone but the man is dead now and there is no one to fill the space he left, no one that can be used as a weapon anymore, no one that can be the monster the sorcerers need to win this fight, so he steps up, he becomes the monster for the story, because he can not let it all go to waste now. Ah the tragedy of not seeing yourself as a human but just a means.

3. Love is the greatest curse of them all:

Yuuta’s story started with him cursing his friend, Rika, because he could not accept her death. He loved Rika, he could not let her go because he loved. He fought Geto Suguru, even tried to sacrifice himself in the end so that his friends could live because he loved and cherished his friends. Love, love, love…In this chapter we see him worry about Gojo because isn’t Gojo doing everything all by his own, even going as far as to stain his hands in blood so that when he is not needed (dead) the rest of the cast does not have to suffer, and so he fills in the shoes of his sensei, a man he respected and loved a lot, he sacrifices himself, his humanity and becomes almost a curse for his sensei because in the end, love is the greatest curse of them all.

[dinneronvenus]

Doesn’t Matter Now

⭑ Gojo x fem reader

⭑ inspired by the song “doesn’t matter now” by flyingfish (listen to that while you read for max effect)

⭑ tags: ANGST ON 100, description of a jujutsu technique that forfeits the sorcerer’s life, death, a funeral, a hopeless and depressed Gojo goes to a medium, hinted reincarnation

⭑ synopsis: Gojo already lost his only true friend, so he never thought losing a woman could hurt him so badly

“There’s nothing you could’ve done, Gojo. You didn’t even know.” Utahime spoke softly, her own pain wanting to break through in her voice. “Nobody did.”

Gojo remained silent, eyes glazed over, a cocktail of negative emotions mixing in his mind. He couldn’t even look at Utahime, whose outfit would remind him of you. They stood in the ruins of the shrine your family had built and ran for generations. It had come under attack by many cursed spirits and you had fulfilled your duty to protect the people who lived and worked there, as well as its secrets. With everyone else safe, it would be rebuilt and restored to its original glory, something that should have been a silver lining.

“It is not uncommon for a high priestess to give her life for her people.” Utahime said, voice breaking at the end. This brought Gojo even less comfort.

“You think I don’t know that? You think I hadn’t heard her say those exact words to me before?!” He snapped, still not able to take his eyes off the scene in front of him. It was Utahime’s turn to stay silent.

In the middle of the leveled temple, there was the evidence of your bravery. A set of heavy stone doors bearing an ancient inscription, left open by whatever you had summoned to walk through them, loomed over the two sorcerers. Gojo already knew they’d be used as a gate to honor your memory and remember your sacrifice. His eyes begged to see any scrap of you in the rubble. Maybe this was just a trick, and you were hiding behind one of the doors.

“What could her technique have been to have killed her in the process?” He whispered to the open air, not thinking anyone could’ve heard him.

“Gehenna Gate, it is a technique with the highest of costs,” A raspy voice broke the unbearable quiet. It was your mother, who despite everything, managed to keep a small smile on her face for your surviving friends. “I am sorry she never told you that properly. She wanted to protect you, in her own way.” Her hand came down on Gojo’s shoulder and the kindness in her touch almost burned him alive.

“I didn’t… I wish she…” Gojo stuttered out, hot tears stinging his eyes. Your mother pulled him into a hug, shushing him like a child.

Five days later, your funeral was to be held at your family cemetery in the mountains overlooking the temple. Gojo had no idea how he would survive that. He spent the time until your funeral looking for someone who could communicate with the dead. Thanks to his power and connections, he found one the night before and prepared himself to have one last conversation with you.

“Welcome, sir. I assume you’re here to see Mistress Takemi?” The young man spoke just loud enough to be heard over the jingle of the bell from the door shutting behind him.

“Yeah, and she knows already so I’m just gonna head back there,” Gojo sauntered through the foyer and down the hall to the back room where a woman in black and purple robes standing over a large glass table was waiting on him.

“Welcome Satoru,” she spoke cheerfully with a deep voice that echoed her years of life.

“Don’t call me that. Can we get started?” The overly familiar attitude irked him. The woman cleared her throat and dropped her cheerful act.

“I suppose we can get right to it then.”

The woman had a technique that essentially made her into a human ouija board. Her hands rested on the glass table and it began to glow a soft greenish-blue. Gojo could see the dark circles and puffiness of his eyes in the reflection, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself for being this unable to accept that you were gone.

“Satoru?” His name again, but this time he could hear your voice mixing with Takemi’s voice. He said your name in disbelief, tears of joy in his eyes.

“Yes, yes! It’s me, I wa—”

“You can’t do this, Satoru. It’s against the laws.”

“Please, don’t tell me that right now. You hid so much from me, please just let me ask you one thing.”

Silence. Fearing he’d miss his chance, he went ahead with his question.

“Did you ever really love me?” The depth of sadness and desperation in his voice was unbearable to you, even in your disembodied state. “Why couldn’t you have told me? I could’ve helped you, I would’ve done anything to have saved you.”

“In the mountains where they’ll bury me, follow a trail that begins with pink and white flowers. You’ll find everything you want to know at the end. Goodbye, Satoru.”

“No, no, no,” He wiped the tears from his face and gripped both of Takemi’s shoulders, shouting. “Please come back! I can’t do this again!”

Regaining full control of herself, Takemi pushed Gojo off her and had him escorted out of her shop. The whole world was one hideous shade of grey. He walked for a while with no destination in mind but the grave. He wanted to go find that trail right now but he didn’t have anything else left in him. He wanted to sleep for the rest of his life. Returning home, he set his alarm and went to bed with your instructions in mind.

Utahime and Gojo walked with each other up the mountain to the funeral site. Utahime thought it was odd but refreshing to see him dressed in more traditional clothing. Just one more thing that only you could get him to do.

Everyone took their places, and your father stepped up to the podium. “We are gathered here to send our beloved high priestess to her place of final rest with her ancestors…”

Once the funeral was complete, no one but Gojo, Utahime and your mother lingered too long.

“I’m sorry again for your loss, ma’am.” Utahime said, bowing deeply. Your mother gave her another one of those wise, otherworldly smiles.

“I don’t think I’ve really lost her.” She said before taking a last look around the cemetery and turning to leave. “Why don’t we give him some space?” She motioned to Gojo and Utahime followed her.

Now alone with your memory and your ghost, Gojo began to look for this trail you had mentioned. It took him a while to find it but when he did, his path to the end was quick. It led to a small clearing where the grass was lush, and he was consumed by the smell of many different kinds of flowers and plants. The sight of the small garden was as beautiful as you were to him.

Looking around for anything that could be the answer you spoke of, he saw a faint bit of energy coming from inside a tree. When he got close to the tree, he found it had a hollow spot in it where you’d left a diary. He fished it out and walked to a shaded place in the clearing to begin reading it. Every page was an entry about the two of you together. All of your private feelings from when he was just a crush, and once you had gotten closer, you even glued in pictures you’d taken together.

Gojo couldn’t control his tears or hide his sobs. His body shook against the tree as he held the diary close to his chest. He calmed down enough to continue reading it, with the last entry being dated a week ago.

She knew she was going to die… He thought. You had written about the rise of cursed spirits in the area of increasing numbers and strength and how you felt like it was time for you to fulfill your duty to your people. More than that though, you wrote about how you wished you could have told Gojo. How you wanted to stay with him forever, how he was the only thing you’d ever loved as much as you loved the Gods, and how because of that you wanted to make sure he was safe and didn’t have to fight for once.

It was all too much, Gojo swore he would drown in his own tears right there. The wind picked up and blew the diary’s pages, landing on entry from before you two had met.

6.25 — Training Notes: after a long session of training and studying my technique’s history in my family. I have learned of a way I might be able to circumvent its cost. If I summon a deity of destruction that has the ability to reincarnate, then I will reincarnate too! One of my ancestors did that long ago, although it took 59 days for them to come back.

Gojo couldn’t believe what he was reading. He wiped his eyes on his sleeves furiously and scrambled to his feet. He stored your diary in an inner pocket of his kimono and made his way down the mountains to the temple ruins.

He inspected the gate and found exactly what he needed to be able to accept the loss of the only woman he’s ever loved. Utahime was strolling the grounds when she noticed him in the air, getting a close look at the doors.

“Gojo, what do you think you’re doing? Get down here!” Utahime found his behavior so disgraceful. He chuckled on his way back to earth.

“I was just checking on something. Had to be sure that I wasn’t seeing things.”

His eyes were red and puffy, but his annoyingly cheerful attitude was starting to return. Utahime couldn’t tell if she was relieved or annoyed.

“Checking on what?”

“Eh,” Gojo put a hand over the diary in his pocket.

“Doesn’t matter now.”

[reinerispretty]

see ya later

a drabble i wrote to cope with the aftermath of the latest leaks. gojo x reader. spoilers for jjk236 ahead.

includes: dead!reader, sorcerer!reader, angst, fluff, delusion.

satoru knows where he is. he knew he’d end up here, eventually.

if he bothered to look close enough, he would know there’s something off about this place. the walkways lead on forever. the airplanes never leave the tarmac. it’s oddly silent, for an airport, apart from the chatting voices of the people waiting for him.

riko and haibara don’t look a day over the last time he saw them. they’re still youthful here, still smiling. the lines that started to litter yaga’s face are gone. nanami has that stupid haircut again. geto is sixteen, earlobes still pink from when shoko pierced them in his dorm bathroom.

it feels good to talk to them, just like old times. the words flow casually, cheerfully, despite the weight of the conversation being that of the world. then, when he’s done, he looks to you.

you stand separate from everyone else (like you always have, at least in his mind), watchful eyes looking out a window that will never show you anything new. satoru rises from his seat to join you.

when he settles at your side, you look up at him, smile curving at your lips. you’re sixteen again, too, wearing your old uniform and holding your hair up with a pencil like you used to. “good job,” you say, and if there wasn’t such a calming presence looming over him he would’ve cried at hearing your voice for the first time in years. “you lasted a lot longer than i thought you would.”

he snorts, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into his side. you fit perfectly, like you did back then. he didn’t realize he’d forgotten what it felt like to hold you. “you spend all your time over here doubting me?”

“not all of it.” your arms snake around his middle, head resting just beneath his shoulder. “a good chunk of it, though.”

“you’re so mean to me. i thought the afterlife was supposed to be nice.”

“being mean to you is so central to my being that it’s ingrained in my soul.” he chuckles, holds you a little tighter. you do the same.

satoru wonders if your time apart has felt as long for you as it has for him. he hopes not. he hopes you’re at peace here. it’s the least you deserve.

he remembers the unimpressed look on your face when you first met, having no clue what the gojo name even meant. he remembers annoying you every day just so you’d look at him, even if it was only to glare. he remembers the way your eyes softened when you turned to him that winter day and he remembers thinking he’d never be the same.

he remembers your broken body, limp on shoko’s examination table.

he recalls all of these things but none of the sadness stings him like it so often does. the affects of this place, maybe. the affects of having you in his arms again, definitely.

the words are uttered against his chest when you say, “you know you can’t stay here.”

satoru inhales a deep breath. “i know.”

you look up at him again. he expects to see a frown on your lips, but you’re still smiling, teasing glint in your eye. “you’ve gotta prove me wrong about you.”

he huffs a laugh, finds himself smiling, too. “so demanding. would you just let me have a little more time with you?”

the corners of your eyes crinkle. “we’ll have all the time in the world together soon enough.”

he knows you’re right. you always are. “i’m coming back.”

“take your time,” you reply softly. “i’ll be here.”

he kisses you then. kisses you like he should have the last time he saw you, when he didn’t know it would be the last time.

“get a room,” calls geto, and the two of you part. he doesn’t want to let you go.

you give his cheek a gentle pinch. “see ya later, satoru.”

“yeah,” he says past the lump in his throat. “see ya later.”

[strawberrystepmom]

malevolent enterprise ch. 5

ceo au series. gojo x f!reader are endgame. reader is a lawyer and gojo takes it upon himself to come check things out at ryomen enterprises, this is a direct follow up to ch. 3. cw: suggestive discussions, reader has a complexion that visibly blushes. wc 1.5k.

divider thanks to @/cafekitsune | masterlist

Taking a deep breath before the sweeping elevator doors open and spit you out in front of the executive offices, you blink tightly immediately noticing a frantic wave being tossed in your direction through the thick glass encasing the entire floor. All you can do is shake your head and sigh, stepping toward the door and pushing it open, Toge grinning as you enter the room and nodding toward the bouquet he advised you was waiting.

You’re certain the culprit who sent the admittedly beautiful arrangement is also the man frantically waving at you from Sukuna’s office, Satoru Gojo. He wears a flirtatious smirk across his face as if it’s the most natural thing he has ever done, effortless as having the world in his palm. You acknowledge him briefly, eyes flicking upward to meet his that are only halfway covered by his sunglasses, and turn your back to the glass, opening the card slipped between pretty blooming anemones, your favorite, and mums.

Toge has rounded his desk and looks down at the card and you groan reading the words while he giggles, almost too entertained by what’s written down on the card.

Can’t hide from me forever. See you soon. - Satoru

“If you say a word, I will fire you.” You hiss in Toge’s direction and he raises his eyebrows, digging his phone out of his pocket to skirt your rules about speaking. He types and you watch him with your eyes narrowed, certain nothing appropriate nor acceptable is being said.

Toge: guess that answers whose 🐓 youve been indulging in….

Right as you open your mouth to reprimand him, you are interrupted by a deep sing song of a nickname you long assumed was dead.

The danger of knowing someone for a long time is that there’s always a plethora of potential embarrassment in their arsenal and no one proves that better than Satoru.

“Oh ___ cat,” Gojo croons while stepping out of Sukuna’s office, ditching the man mid-sentence to come and bother you. Quickly you shut the envelope the card came in and pop it back between the flowers, turning to him with a stony look on your face. If you give him an inch, he will take a mile so you choose to give him nothing.

“Wonderful to see you as well, Mr. Gojo.”

Sukuna snorts loud enough from his office that even you can hear it and your head turns so sharply he’s concerned your neck is broken. You shoot him an ice cold glare. He shrugs and holds up his hands, gesturing very lewdly while looking between you and the white haired man who doesn’t miss a beat before continuing his teasing.

“So formal,” he whines with a pout and you roll your eyes in response. He opens his arms for you to embrace him and reluctantly, you reach to give him a polite side hug but this doesn’t work for Satoru. He pulls you against him and embraces you, much to your embarrassment knowing everyone in the executive offices has their eyes on you right now.

Your face is pressed to his chest so you don’t see his smug grin but everyone else does and they know he’s staking his claim once and for all. Anything Gojo wants, Gojo gets - except for you. The timing has never been right, you’ve always been out of his reach but now is his chance and it is being grabbed and held with both arms.

Attempting to wiggle away from him, you groan and he lets go. Toge snickers behind you and the urge to kick out in his direction and let your block heel meet his shin is strong but you refrain, stepping away from Satoru and straightening out your blouse, mouth set in a flat line.

“What are you doing here?”

Your peripheral vision catches Sukuna twisting back and forth in his chair with his feet up on his desk, tossing a crumpled sheet of paper toward the ceiling and catching it.

“He’s supposed to be here on his knees sucking my dick begging me not to ruin his company!”

The words boom through the glass cage that is the executive floor and you scoff, mortified that everyone can hear his commentary. You look around the office to see what damage was done during this purported rampage only to find that everything is in the same order you left it in.

“Don’t let me interrupt you two then,” you mutter and turn on your heel to walk toward your office a few doors down.

A second pair of footsteps echoes after yours and you groan, turning to see Satoru whose grin hasn’t faded since the moment he laid eyes on you.

“Next time you ask Toge to do your dirty work, feed him a better excuse to come back than Sukuna rampaging. He does that so often I was contemplating not coming back at all.”

The man chuckles and you raise your brows, turning to walk a little further and into the open door of your office.

“Would you have come back if he would have led with me being here?”

Scoffing, you shake your head and reluctantly invite him into your office by sweeping your hand in the direction of the desk and couch in front of it. Without hesitation, he plops down on the couch and lets his feet dangle off of one end while folding his arms behind his head and laying down. He looks ridiculous but you bite back a smile anyway, rounding the couch and sitting down at your desk.

“Probably. The work never ends.” You sigh and exhale loudly, digging in your bag for your phone and tablet and placing them in front of you. “For the second time, what are you doing here? Unless I interrupted fellatio, in which case I apologize.”

Gojo laughs and you feel your heart soar so embarrassingly high that you are compelled to begin working immediately to distract yourself. The spark between the two of you is easy to ignore when you aren’t faced with him but it threatens to burn the whole place down when you are. It’s a terrible thing to want someone so furiously and that is why you’ve managed to avoid it for as long as you have.

“I was in the neighborhood and wanted to check the place out. Heard they hired a pretty little lawyer to clean up the big guy’s messes and had to check things out for myself.”

You hum unenthusiastically, tapping away on your tablet. If he wants to discuss his conquests, he is welcome to march back to Sukuna’s office. You bite back the words you want to spit at him, choosing gentler ones instead.

“Nothing draws the infamous Gojo quite like a pretty girl, right?”

He sits up and spreads his arms across the back of the couch, head tilted to the side. You refuse to look up at him for more than a half a second.

“Especially one with your face and name. The prettiest girl in the city.”

This catches your attention and your glance and he shrugs as if he knew it would happen.

“Save your charms for someone they actually work on.”

You’re grateful nobody else, namely Toge, followed you to your office because anyone who knows you well would be able to tell how firmly Satoru has wedged himself beneath your skin. He thrills you in all the ways you imagined a man would - he’s intelligent and witty and innovative but he also makes you ache unlike you ever have and it’s evident when he’s around.

“See, you say that but your cheeks are almost as red as what Sukuna sees when he’s told no.” He clicks his tongue. “Lying is bad, you should know that by now.”

No one else has ever cut you down to size more successfully than he does and you sigh, defeatedly.

“If you want to catch up you can just ask me to dinner. You’ve had my number for like ten years.”

“Well for five of those years you were playing house with Mr. Baseball so I assumed a text from me would be unwelcome.”

Ah yes, he can’t help but bring up the fact you started dating your ex not long after the two of you had…relations. It was the best sex of your life and the connection with Satoru was so intense you wanted to pursue him but you decided better of it after hearing about his reputation, fearing being embarrassed by his casual approach to love and romance. You’ve never wanted to be casual and took it as a sign to run away yet like a boomerang, he has returned to you once again.

“Can you get to the point? I have shit to get done, Satoru.”

He can’t help but smile at the way his name sounds on your lips, familiar and fresh all at once. There’s something about it that drives him wild and he isn’t willing to risk losing out on you again especially since word has spread that you are back on the market.

“Have a drink with me tonight.”

Pretending to contemplate it, you look away from him and around your office. It’s still bare, you’ve had no time to decorate it since you started, but you can picture where you’ll hang the photos in the box across the room and your diploma when you get the chance.

“If I can get out of here before midnight, I’ll consider it.”

For Gojo, this is enough and he nods. If anything it confirms that you’re interested back and his fact finding mission was a success, just in time for Toge to come down the hall to summon him back to the executive office.

“If you’re done here, he’s requesting your presence.”

Inumaki’s flat words make you giggle and Satoru stands, stretching with an exaggerated groan.

“I’ll text you later,” he mutters while heading toward the door and you nod politely, wiggling your fingers in his direction.

Your assistant moves so that Gojo can walk past and immediately turns back to you with a grin, looking down the hall to make sure he’s gone before turning back to you.

“Can we expect another bouquet tomorrow?”

You scowl.

“You are this close,” you hold your index finger and thumb up to your face and close the distance between them. “To being jobless today.”

He throws his hands up innocently and trudges back down the hallway, leaving you to collect your thoughts on what to do next.

[mana-jjk]

I would love to hear your thoughts on inuokko post-shibuya. like how toge goes through the acceptance of his injury, how yuuta would help and be so supportive of him and also their reunion…just want to hear your thoughts on it! go wild! I love inuokko <3

oh my gosh anon thank you i have so many thoughts !!

feel free to send more asks about canon or au’s !! i have so many thoughts it’s insane i an incredibly not stable about inuokko and it’s a little scary tbh.

Post-Shibuya

• so i think it’s important to establish that the time between shibuya and gojo’s unsealing was 19 days. let’s just sit on that for a few moments, just a little more than two weeks.

• what gets me is that a week after toge’s 17th birthday, he is traumatically amputated and alone.

• i do think yuuta was the one to find him, having arrived at around 1:30 a.m. to shibuya. it’s heartbreaking in itself to consider, because even unconsciously if toge calls, yuuta will come barring nothing.

• yuuta is immediately dispatched to shibuya and everything with the culling games is happening so he doesn’t even know if his friends are okay and that’s the hardest part.

• waking up brings a numbness, quiet acceptance that’s been beaten into him since he was a kid. it was inevitable that he was going to severely injured at some point in his life. that’s why he didn’t cry or scream or even feel angry. he was just numb.

• going with the theory that his wraps were meant to contain curse residuals/poison, there was severe nerve damage that extended from the now stump to his shoulder and even a little down his abdomen. shoko tried her best to help him learn how to move again, but she was overbooked.

• every morning, afternoon, and evening, he was forcing himself to move and learn how to maneuver without his arm. he mostly fought with his legs and cursed speech, so he was grateful that he hadn’t lost either. no matter how much inwardly his heart wished otherwise. losing an arm did throw him off-balance so he practiced a lot in learning to fight without the weight.

• no matter how much shoko tried to convince him to rest, he couldn’t force himself to sit still, every time he sat down, he thought of yuuta and maki and panda fighting out there alone. the dead civilians stared back at him in his dreams. the feeling of a thousand cleavers sinking into his flesh pulsed. he couldn’t sit still, so he did what he’s been doing since his parents gave him up. he trained, he fought, he prepared to sacrifice what was left of his body.

• when they called forth everyone willing and able to fight, toge didn’t even hesitate. despite being a traumatized teenager just learning how to tie an empty sleeve, marching towards death was as natural as breathing.

• stepping into the meeting point, he’s in the mind of the soldier, focus on nothing but the next fight, trying to ignore the way his shoulder aches from phantom pain.

• surprisingly, it’s maki who sees him first. while she knew from yuuta what had happened, it still ached her own scars to see him. yet, boldly as everything else she does, she comes up to him and grabs him into a forceful hug. panda isn’t far behind, even with his reduced height. for a moment toge can do nothing but blink.

• yuuta is a breath behind, a mixture of overwhelming relief and devastation all at once in the blue of his eyes, wanting the other to be thousands of miles away but unable to shake his last memory of digging through the shredded remains of civilians, praying to find him whole.

• toge sees him, sees the distress in his eye and reaches out. his hand encloses around yuuta’s, and the distress melts into relief that spills down his face, a crybaby as always. at least that’s how it goes in his mind, past the way his shoulder spasms to do just that. it isn’t relief spilling from yuuta’s eyes, it’s a quiet understanding and grief that tears his heart apart.

• not so long ago, his presence brought relief, his strength was depended on, and he had the ability to at least wipe the tears from his friend’s eyes. all at once it hits him, the scars on his shoulder burn, the feeling of a thousand cleavers on flesh no longer there, the sight of maki’s burns, panda so much smaller, yuuta crying over him, always over him. his own bloody hand tying his tourniquet, not knowing where his friends are, not knowing where he is, alive or dead, hands digging through the debris, strangled breath, pain, burning, darkness, blood, smoke, debris, dead eyes, everyone was dead, why wasn’t he dead?

he didn’t save them.

he couldn’t protect them.

and after everything, that was what broke him.

• he cries, and as everything it’s quiet. the hitch of his breath is enough to send tears streaming down all their faces, just as he feared he’s inevitably cursed them again. it’s only a moment before maki steps aside and warm arms are wrapping around him. he cries until his face burns and his throat hurts from the hitched sobs, but yuuta with tears streaming down his face accepts every curse with open arms.

Recovery

• when everything is over, toge doesn’t really know what to do with himself. all he’s ever known was to fight and sacrifice and part of him thought he would die in the war. now that it was over, he couldn’t wrap his head around actually living.

• he spends his days trying to relearn everything he forgot, having been so focused on learning to fight that he hadn’t even considered what it meant to learn how to cook or write or even properly sign with one hand.

• through it all, yuuta is there, sometimes unbearable in his presence and persistent belief in toge. always watching, yet forcibly holding himself back from intervening after a stern talking from maki. toge failed in the simplest tasks, again and again, and sometimes he could only kick in frustration. but through it all, yuuta never left, never looked at him with pity. sitting and waiting like a golden retriever waiting for the word.

• the few times toge cried, like when nobara complained of being hungry and toge tried to shape rice but couldn’t get it right. he stood in the kitchen, tears blurring his vision, fingers twitching violently, unused to so much use. yuuta had walked in, took one look at him and wrapped his arms around him. strong and so familiar to the way he lifted him from the rubble. he didn’t say anything or trying to pull him away, he just held him as they stood in the kitchen, rocking gently on socked feet and smelling of fresh laundry. eventually toge stood back and tried again, producing a slightly bumpy but edible riceball. yuuta tried to make his own and sent toge into tears again over how absolutely clumsy and misshapen it was. with his single arm, he guided yuuta as best he could and returned the bashful grin yuuta gave him with something almost like relief.

• toge eventually got a prosthetic arm, one he could funnel cursed energy through, but the domain had left a number in phantom pain. a consistent poison stopped only by sigils and yuuta that felt like a thousand knives in his nerves. sometimes it was unbearable and left him wandering at odd hours with gritting teeth and pulsing nerves. he never liked waking anyone up, so yuuta ruined what little sleep schedule he had to ensure that rika always listened for the others footsteps.

• toge never told him, but yuuta’s reversed curse energy was different from shoko, where shoko was practiced and efficient like a bandage, yuuta felt like a warm hand over the injury that pressed until it was absorbed entirely. he never had a mother to wipe away his tears or even a sibling to pick him up again, but the way yuuta wiped his pain away made it seem as though it didn’t even compare.

• the first time toge cooked alone, yuuta cried at the first bite even as toge teased him for being a baby. later, he would gently hold his shaking hand that twitched with exertion with a reverence that shook toge to his core. sometimes the care he treated toge with scared him, so afraid to give yuuta, warm and kind yuuta, the broken pieces of himself. but sometimes yuuta made him feel like he wasn’t broken, that he was something precious. kindness and love that so warm and encompassing, it terrified him.

• it’s through shoko he hears that yuuta is considering going abroad again. despite everything he’s been through, the idea terrifies him like nothing else. still trying to learn how to live, he never considered a life without yuuta in it.

• so he hides, shutting down with all the willpower he had to recover disappearing with yuuta. every time yuuta knocks, he burrows deeper under his covers, willing himself to disappear like he should have before.

• he should’ve known that the people around him never seemed to understand why it would be for the better. maki shoves open his door, drags him out, and drills in his head once again that he lost his chance to escape the day he stepped foot in the school. he loves them, loves them more than any word could describe, and their love in turn aches like an open wound but at this point he can’t imagine living without them.

• yuuta finds him later, sitting outside in the garden he always found comfort in. it’s quiet when yuuta kneels in front of him, taking his hand with a kind and dopey eyes with a soft smile that he must know always strikes a cord in the other, “i am considering going abroad again,” he says, a juxtaposition of healing and breaking him apart again and again.

• “and i want you to come with me.”

• toge was a weapon as far back as he could remember. what the higher ups demanded, he obeyed. he lost his entire life to being that weapon, destroying himself and learning to never yearn for more. he never imagined he’d get to experience what others did, never thought he’d see the outside of japan. never thought he’d live long enough to consider it. but here yuuta was, offering him not only to shatter the perception of what his life should have been, but offering to spend his own proving that idea wrong every day.

• there was no sign or words to convey that feeling, the fear and hope that settled heavily on his chest. the weight of the world crushing him a little more everyday. the coward in him told him to shake his head, to stay where he knew and never leave. but didn’t he have to eventually? well into his third year, he never considered what came after.

• nobara and maki were getting an apartment in the city, permanent partners in missions, in life. panda was continuing yaga’s work, learning how to live on his own for the first time, navigating a world not built for him. yuuji and megumi were still figuring out how to live through their trauma, but they had each other and talked frequently about finding their own place after graduation. everyone was moving on, even if they always had a place for one another.

• “you’re the reason i can wake up everyday and believe that it’s okay for me to be alive,” yuuta says as if he doesn’t already have his heart in his hand, “please let me convince you the same.” and toge was helpless but to agree.

[spiderlilysstories]

let me love you

Warnings🦋: angst, mentions of depression, anxiety,cursing 

🎵song to listen to: LMLY.🎵 by Jackson Wang

   

It feels like it has been eternity since you left Nanami. He distracts himself in his work… hours and hours on end. It’s the same thing everyday for him and he never pictured his life without you and even if he never showed it. He knew that life would be meaningless if your not here. one day Gojo calls for a meeting because a grade one curse has been terrorizing a high school for weeks now and he needs two sorcerers to handle it. Nanami takes the job without question and it leaves everyone in the room shocked and confused. From being the only person that seemed like he never wanted to be there to always taking every job it seems… off.

~Later on in the evening~

Rain is falling and it’s never going to end, the weather couldn’t get any gloomier.. nor can it get any colder. In this kind of weather you used to be in his arms and he would keep you warm. spreaded out on the couch clinging to each other for dear life, ordering take out, and binging every movie. But thats just a memory and Nanami has to snap out of it. Suddenly the doorbell rings and he jumps up, could god have finally answered his prayer? Is that his love at the door? He walks up to the door and takes a deep breath before he reaches the door knob. He opens it slowly and well.. his hope is all out the window now.

“Yoooooo kentooo what’s up?” Gojo said enthusiastically 

“What do you want….” Nanami replied irritatedly 

“ Can I come in.. please..” Gojo asked quietly because he finally dropped the act…he was actually very worried.

Nanami left the door open and walked to the couch with his hand on his head. He just wished it was you, he just wants you back home.

Gojo sits across from him on the other couch and doesn’t say anything for a minute  but he finally speaks.

“So listen.. I notice this change with you and  I don’t want to speculate or assume whatsoever is going on but everyone is worried believe it or not. Just tell me what’s up?” Gojo looks in his eyes sympathetically. But thats when Nanami breaks down. All the hiding he was doing, the tiptoeing around people, overworking himself. It all came crashing down.

“I can’t do this shit anymore Im tired I don’t want to wake up im angry at myself I let her go. I should’ve held onto her a little longer I should’ve told her I loved her more. I can’t believe this.. she’s really not mine.” Nanami hyperventilates and he starts to look pale. Gojo sits next to him quickly and pats his back and comforts him.

“It’s not ever over unless one of you are dead, you made a mistake. Sometimes couples argue but you love her and she loves you. Don’t let this be the end of you guys.” Gojo comforts him

“She doesn’t want me anymore.. it’s been months and she hasn’t called. There isn’t any point I might as well disappear .” Nanami spats and he throws himself in his hands.

“Maybe a break was needed kento and don’t start talking like that. If anything was to happen to you she would be devastated. Also I came today to tell you im giving the mission to someone else. You have been working too much so take some time off.”

“Fine I’ll do it.” Nanami took his hands out of his face and took a deep breath.

~that very night~

The city looks beautiful from his penthouse, you used to always say that to him. He never found it that interesting its just Tokyo to him. He lays back in his king sized bed in his luxury styled room. Well it used to look that way, however it’s covered in clothes, bottles, and wrappers. The city lights echo all around his room, and he remembers how you used to stay up late and stand in front of the huge windows and take pictures with your phone. Or how your silhouette would move around when you danced with the disco lights you installed in his room. He remembers how he laughed so hard that day, he never forgot that night. And how smooth your skin felt against him, how your kisses sent shivers down. He almost dozes off until he hears a text on his phone. He doesn’t bother checking it he just rolls over and groans. But five minutes later it follows with a phone call. He grabs it and checks to see who it is but it says unknown caller. He hangs up and puts it back down, but the ringtone goes off again. He’s confused and tired so he hangs up again and turns his phone off. he gets comfortable in his bed one more time but the vibrate was replaced with his ringer. He has had enough with it he answers the phone angrily. 

“Hello.?”

“…. nami?”

Nanami’s heart sinks to his feet and he starts to shake.

“Y/N?” Nanami can’t contain his emotions he’s praying that this isn’t a prank

“Nami…. I miss you so much. Im sorry im so sorry I walked away. I got scared i should’ve told you how bad my anxiety can get.” You tried to explain to him but he cuts you off

“NO BABY I should’ve listened im so sorry I didn’t pay attention to this sooner. I can’t believe I ignored the signs please forgive me.” He begs with all his emotions he just wants you back

“I forgive you nami….” You couldn’t contain your emotions anymore and begin to sob. You both start crying on the phone for a minute but Nanami snaps out of it because he needs to know your whereabouts and bring you back to him.

“ Where the hell are you y/n.” 

“Im at this hotel. Ive been here for a while. I figured sometime apart would make me forget about you, but thats clearly impossible. Are you home?”

“ Yes y/n please baby tell me which hotel your at  I can come get you right now.” Nanami already jumping out of his bed shuffling to find his keys.

“No dear I can catch a taxi im already dressed and my stuff is packed. Stay warm at your place I’ll be there soon.”

“Wait at least let me meet you halfway it’s a terrible storm out there.” He tries to protest with you but he’s just being protective.

“I will be there soon nami don’t worry ill be alright.” You smile softly to yourself. It’s the mere thought that you will finally see him again.

~one hour later~

Rain keeps falling and the wind keeps blowing. Sounds of movement in the halls keeps making him check the door and he feels like he is going to loose it. Thats when the familiar footsteps walk up to his door. He wouldn’t even let you open the door first, he just opens it, and picks you up and hold you close.

“My love…” Nanami sobs into your neck

He picks up your belongings and takes you to his room and sets your stuff down. He made sure he cleaned it before you got there. He helps you get comfortable so you can get in the bed with him, he just wants you closer. You settle down and lay next to him. He pulls you even closer.

“I missed you so much my love more than I can explain.” He whispers in your ear. His voice horse and tired from crying. You gently rub his face and he groans quietly. You reach In and kiss his forehead which makes him blush and teary eyed. 

 “My dear words cannot express how we feel right now, but I hope soon we can figure out our problems and we can be at peace again.” You whispered to him

“I agree my love, but how about I show you how much I missed you.” Nanami kisses you passionately pulling you closer to him. Kissing your neck softly and whispering sweet nothings in your ear. lets just say a huge chunk of your problems where solved that night.

~the next morning~ 

You wake up slowly to the sun crashing on your face and the sound of Nanami snoring next to you. It brings a smile to you knowing you’re finally with him again. 

Your wrapped up in his arms and he is holding you tightly. You even tried to get up a couple of times but he kept unconsciously pulling you back to him. You ended up stuck there for another hour until he woke up. The morning was filled with kisses, words of affirmations, and of course  movies. he didn’t let you go not once, every time he got up to do something he dragged you along with him. Nanami thinks to himself 

“Maybe Gojo was finally right.. what if he really isn’t as dumb as he seems.”

Oh and that following week Gojo was parading around telling everyone he saved your relationship 

THE END

🥀UMMMM SO LIKE THIS IS MY VERY FIRST FANFICTION SO PLEASE BEAR WITH ME LOL. IM GOING THROUGH A BREAK UP SO I FEEL LIKE THIS IS A HEALTHY WAY I CAN COPE. OH ALSO DM ME FOR REQUEST OK? OK I LOVE YOU BYE!🥀

[phantomwitch16]

The last couple of days, I’ve been contemplating the eventual end of Jujutsu Kaisen. With it being much closer than ever, my mind went into many different directions and this post is to essentially discuss them. Especially now that the anime is tackling the Shibuya Arc and we’re about to feel a…pain soon. Warning for anime and manga spoilers ahead.

For a while, with how there’s were heading, I initially thought that the series was going to have a very melancholic end. Like to the point where the Sorcerers win but at a very severe cost. With Gojo, Megumi, Nobara and many other significant characters in the series being dead, I wouldn’t be hard to assume that Yuji would be left, essentially all alone. After everything becoming a changed man only really achieving his goal many years into the future.

Though my stance may have changed significantly since, with it being possible for the three coming back before the end of the series. With Gojo going through a possible able to bring himself back to life and second awakening similar to his one with Toji, the death of Nobara not being 100% confirmed and there still being room for Yuji to possibly save Megumi from Sukuna’s possession. Likely at the expense of Yuji’s life, making use of what Megumi said in the beginning of the series.

Though these are equally as sad, I somehow came up with possibly the most unrealistic scenario but I’m gonna write about it anyway. Given that Yuji’s mother, before she died and her body was taken over by Kenjaku, is that she was a Jujutsu sorcerer when had a technique called anti-gravity. Given the name, its possible that it’s possible that given the amount of determination, its possible that a character could manipulate time. With how things are, it wouldn’t be so uncharacteristic for Yuji wanting to do anything to stop Kenjaku and Sukuna and suddenly developing the technique. Even if it meant his own existence.

With his new technique, he pretty much changes the course of history for…everyone. First, Yuji went to the past to deal with Kenjaku, dealing with him before he has a chance to construct his plan of merging humanity with cursed energy. With his creator now dead and defeated before he had a chance to create him, Yuji goes on to make his friends lives a little easier.

His parents, his father and what would’ve been his mother having a normal life, or about ass normal of a life as they can. Yuji does something that helps Megumi’s mother , meaning Toji doesn’t abandon Megumi and the three live on to a relatively normal life. With Toji being out of the picture during Gojo and Geto’s mission, then Rika’s mission would’ve been a success and Geto and Gojo being untraumatised by the mission. Though it’s possible that Gojo would have his awakening at some point, it would’ve come some time later. Geto doesn’t have a depressive breakdown but gets close to murderous when he and Gojo do to that village and finds Mimiko and Nanako. Geto adopts the two girls, raising them alongside Gojo and Shoko who help them with their cursed techniques. Haibara survived his mission with Nanami and is alive in the present day. The second years their best lives altogether with Mai and Maki being very close.

Megumi, Nobara and even Junpei attend Jujutsu Tech alongside Nanako and Mimiko with Gojo as their teacher. None of them really take him seriously but they respect him as the strongest. Nobara meets Saori while shopping after someone (Yuji) rudely bumped into her and she keeps close contact with her. Their time as students are relatively peaceful by Jujutsu sorcerer standards and everyone is happy. And that’s all Yuji wants for them.

Meanwhile, Yuji is spends what little time he has on his own, reminiscing about his life and even watched his old friends have the happy lives that they deserve. His life with his grandfather, his time during his non sorcerer life before he ate Sukuna’s fingers and was thrusted into it. The happy times he had with his friends and people around him before Shibuya. Before the Culling Games. Thinking about the past as he wanders around before he boards a train, to where his resting place will be.

Though, despite all his efforts, his technique wasn’t all that perfect. Despite the happy lives everyone lives, everyone, particularly Megumi, Nobara and especially Gojo knows that something is wrong. None of this is right. They remember things that didn’t happen. Geto starting a murderous cult, Haibara’s death, Megumi’s memories of him and Tsumiki before Gojo took them in.

Sometimes…sometimes they see a boy with pink hair wearing their uniform or a hoodie with a big smile on their. Calling them by their names. Seeing him die. Popping out of box after said death.

They’ve seen him walking past them. HIs gaze following them. The sad smile he has before he goes on his way, as if he knows them.

But no matter how much they try, they can’t remember his name.

When they do, its almost too late.

They all just barely make it to the beach where Yuji is there, all alone. Megumi and Nobara run over at him, yelling and even hitting him for doing so many stupid things. Meanwhile Gojo is standing back waiting for the pair to lash it all out before he quickly joins them, praising Yuji for defeating Kenjaku. He laughs and smiles at them before seeing Nobara and Megumi crying. Despite somewhat expecting this end, he can’t end but cry as well. With doing everything that he could to make them have happy lives, he kind of became resigned to have the same fate as his grandfather. Dying alone with his loved ones unable to remember him. They three are there for his final moment before he slowly dies, a big smile on his face. Receiving a proper death surrounded by his friends and teacher.

I know I’m probably wrong about this but i made myself cry for like an hour thinking about this and again when i was putting it to words :,) Least i hope someone out there thinks the same way as me.

[haikyuuhoo]

2:17am

Megumi opens the door to his bedroom and immediately feels the fatigue hit him. He’s dead tired, and coming back from a mission when everyone else was sleeping was not something he enjoyed.

Well, everyone is sleeping except for you.

You’re sitting at his desk, hunched over an assignment that isn’t due until the next week — just to give you something to do — and you immediately look up when the door opens. A smile blooms over your face, but the sight makes Megumi frown.

“Why are you still up?”

You don’t even roll your eyes, standing from his chair and making your way over to him. You wrap your arms around him and his circle you in automatic response. “I’m leaving in the morning. I wanted to make sure I got to see you when you came back.”

Megumi groans and buries his face in your hair. Recently, the two of you had been like ships in the night, rarely seeing each other between missions before one of you was sent out again.

“You should be sleeping then,” he scolds, but it makes you relax in his arms. You missed this, the way he would scold you that you knew was his way of showing he cared.

“Seeing you is better,” you whisper, and you have to hide your yawn against his chest. You don’t have the heart to add I can barely sleep when I’m waiting for you to come home.

He sighs. “Let me go shower—I’ll be back in a couple minutes. You should get in bed.”

You reluctantly let go of him and nod, standing up on your toes to place a gentle kiss on his lips.

His grip tightens on you and he sighs against your mouth, pulling you closer in an attempt to deepen the kiss.

Now it’s your turn to scold him, though it doesn’t hold much weight with the way you’re smiling that tired grin up at him. “Go shower, ‘Gumi.”

And he grunts out a quiet fine before letting you go and moving to retrieve his things.

You watch him go before flicking off the desk lamp and rooting around in his dresser, picking out one of his shirts at random in the dark and changing into it. You then settle into his bed, taking a deep breath and letting yourself be consumed by the smell of him on his sheets. It’s like a cloud envelops you, holding you when he’s not there, making you feel warm and comforted and safe. It’s the only way you’ve gotten to sleep the past three nights without him.

By the time Megumi returns from his shower, he can tell you’re barely able to keep yourself awake with the way you sleepily open your eyes to blink up at him. You’ve got the blankets pulled up to your chin and a sleepy smile on your face, and the sight causes his cheeks to tingle with heat. He’s suddenly glad for the darkness as he climbs in beside you.

You’re nuzzling against him before he can even wrap an arm around you and pull you close, and though the action is gentle his fingers grip the back of your shirt — no, his, he realizes — like he’s afraid to let you go.

Because while he’s sure that everything is going to go fine — Gojo may have an interesting style of supervision, but surely he wouldn’t put you in any situation you couldn’t handle, right? — Megumi knows that nothing is certain.

He knows this life is hard, dangerous, unpredictable. He’s glad he’s able to go through it with you.

But if he’s being honest with himself, sometimes he’s scared.

And so he holds you closer, finally giving into the ache in his bones, wishing that the morning didn’t have to come.

we all knew this day would come — my first jjk post. ngl I didn’t think it was gonna be for megumi but I love him so here we are

hi jjk peeps i hope i do your favs justice <3

[sukirichi]

— just the two of us

request: I almost read all of your jujutsu kaisen writings and I love it. Your writing is really good! I do not know if a request about a fics🥞 about satoru gojo who is really in love and not very possessive with an oblivious reader. It will be fun to see Satoru try to flirt with her and she doesn't get it🤣

pairings: gojo x oblivious! reader

notes: THIS IDEA IS SO CUTEEE I absolutely loved every second of writing it! thank you for the request and I hope you like this! 🥞 breakfast has been served!

word count: 3.3k

warnings: none, other than this is unedited and written humorously rather than seriously~

masterlist !

Gojo doesn’t know whether he’s lucky – or completely cursed – over the fact you’ve got no idea he’s so in love with you.

It’s a bright sunny morning, perfect for outdoor training, and he walks with you all the way to school with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. You stretch your arms out in the sky to bask in the morning glow and warmth of the sun, sleeves pushed up to your forearms to “get that vitamin D.”

Satoru snickers at your statement, because you’d totally be getting a different kind of Vitamin D if only you’d notice him. Sometimes he wonders, if maybe you’d inherited the Six Eyes instead of him, would you finally be able to see him – or would you still remain unaware?

He doesn’t even know where it began. A year ago, Yaga introduced you as the newest staff member. You’d been so fidgety and nervous then, unsure of what to do and worried if maybe the kids wouldn’t love. They did, of course, how could they not. Not only were you extremely fun to be with, you’re also caring, fretting and even crying whenever one of the students got injured over a mission.

Shoko reminds you all the time that this should be normal for you by now, but you always cry every time, sobbing that they’re still only kids and should be out having fun.

Yeah, maybe that’s where it began. Your kindness struck a chord in Satoru’s heart, and before he knew it, he was falling for you. Hard. Next thing you know, he shows up five minutes before you leave for work, mock-saluting you before inviting you to breakfast. He does this every damn day, and you still don’t get a single thing.

“That café was really good,” you muse, fingers stretching outwards and giggling as the sun peeks through the spaces. Satoru sighs beside you, wanting nothing more than to slip his fingers through those softer ones. “We should go back there sometime. Maybe even take the kids with us this weekend so we can all have breakfast together!”

Satoru masks a snicker with a cough. It reminds him of the time Megumi called you mom and dad by accident, to which you happily responded with before tackling the boy in hugs, while the strongest jujutsu sorcerer only flushed in embarrassment.

Him being him though, Satoru played it off cool, flipping his hair before striking a pose. “Huh, a dad?” he smirks, “The only person who gets to call me daddy would be no one else but Y/N.”

The raven haired first year student immediately recoils in disgust. Meanwhile, the innuendo flies straight through you, and you peer up at him innocently with your head tilted to the side. “Daddy? Why would I call you my dad? My father is still alive and well, and I don’t see you marrying my mom or anything,” Just as Megumi nearly howls in laughter – another evidence that you’re really something else to get the usually stoic boy to lose his composure like that – you snap your fingers, the light bulb above your head practically shining. “Oh, I get it! You prefer younger women and you want them to call you that! Kind of like the hype for onii-chan nowadays.”

Hopeless, Satoru wants to say, you’re absolutely, utterly hopeless.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” Satoru shrugs nonchalantly, sending a smirk your way. It usually drives everyone crazy, but you only smile back up at him in the same way you smile with everyone, and he tries his best to not show his shoulders are deflating. Nevertheless, he doesn’t give up. “How about you and I go out somewhere this weekend? The movies, perhaps?”

Say yes, say yes – please say yes.

Really though, he’s waiting for that ‘no’ already. Satoru knows you always go out of town during the weekends to visit your family in the countryside, only coming back on Monday the next week with a basket of fruits and traditional goods that isn’t so easy to find in the city.

But then you clasp your hands together in excitement, lashes fluttering delicately as you beam up at him. “Really? You’d like to go to the movies with me?”

“Of course I would,” Satoru tries not to stutter, hiding the fact that he’s completely taken aback. He’s the Gojo Satoru for heaven’s sake, he shouldn’t be this affected by anyone’s presence. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want to?”

“Oh, nothing, I just thought you were busy. This Saturday, then?”

Holy crap, holy crap, holy crap, it’s actually happening – his mind was barely functioning at this point, and he even slapped his cheeks to snap him back to life. “I thought there was a fly,” he lied with a chuckle, “But yeah, Saturday. I’ll pick you up?”

“Yeah, sure!”

Satoru wouldn’t stop smiling the whole way to the school. Even when Yuuji had face planted into the ground and Megumi sprained his ankle from training, he wasn’t able to get rid of the ridiculously big smile that stretched across his lips. He’s floating in cloud nine, flowers erupting from his ears and heart-shaped emojis bursting in his background.

“Well, you look creepy,” Shoko commented in the faculty room the moment you excused yourself, “Did you land a date with her or something?”

“That I did,” he stated proudly, even banging his fist on his chest like a deranged form of King Kong.

“I can only hope Y/N makes it out alive,” Nanami announces from behind the newspaper he’s reading, legs crossed over another before he peeks above the paper, narrowed eyes dead set on the blindfolded man. “Don’t be too wild with her, Satoru. She’s a gentle soul despite being a sorcerer – I humbly suggest you don’t mess with her feelings.”

“Are you kidding me? She’s the one messing with my feelings by being so fucking cute all the time!”

“Who’s cute?”

Shoko nearly spits out her coffee the moment you enter, glancing around the room and sitting down next to a shock-still Satoru. Nanami only huffs in his seat with a shake of his head. It doesn’t take long before Satoru regains his confidence and recovers from his shock – he’s turned to you with his torso completely facing your way.

You bask in the attention, mimicking the gesture until your faces are mere inches from one another. The fact you’re so responsive and attentive to him yet still painfully naïve strikes a mental war of himself debating whether he wants to kiss you or knock your head upside down. Satoru chooses neither options as he leans closer, his smile growing wider when you don’t pull away, and he doesn’t stop moving until his lips are right beside the shell of your ear.

“You’re cute.”

Shoko shudders at the same time Nanami just gives up on everything, folding his paper and lying that he’s got someplace to go with Ichiji. Satoru patiently waits for your reaction; for you to crumble this time around.

You’re silent for a moment, brows almost right across each other when you register his words. Satoru ends up holding his breath for your next words, wondering: is this it? will she finally understand what I feel for her now?

Even Shoko ends up sitting at the edge of her seat, silently watching the exchange with interest barely hidden in her sparkling eyes. Satoru watches as your lips open, his eyes transfixed on the way the soft flesh moves. They tilt upwards, revealing a set of a wide smile – the smile he can never get enough of. “Thank you!” you giggle at his compliment, “You and Shoko are very cute too! And the kids too, especially Toge! Not that I’m saying he’s my favourite—”

“He’s definitely your favourite student,” snorts Shoko who is ignoring the way Satoru turns completely gray beside you.

It turns out you still haven’t figured it out after all.

“The kids this – the kids that,” the tall, lanky man whines, his head falling back on the back of the leather couch. He looks so utterly defeated you can’t help but lean over him to check if he’s okay, but Satoru pouts and hides his face under his uniform instead. “Why can it never be just the two of us?”

“Sorry, what did you say?”

This time, you’ve kneeled on the couch to hover him. You even pluck one side of his blindfold off to see how he’s doing, and suddenly thankful you can’t see the way his cheeks are absolutely flaming right now. 

“Nothing,” he assures, his smile hidden behind his shirt. You look absolutely adorable hovering over him like that – eyes wide and lips pouty – what he wouldn’t give to kiss those lips right now, but it isn’t the right time, and Satoru just needs to find a better way to tell you how he feels. “It’s nothing.”

It’s absolutely not nothing.

Saturday couldn’t come faster.

Satoru finds himself willing time to go faster. Once the awaited day finally comes, he wastes no time in choosing his best outfit; an oversized black shirt tucked into black skinny jeans before styling his hair up the way he likes.

He winks at his reflection in the mirror, going ooh and aah at how hot he looks. It’s another reason why he can’t comprehend why you don’t like him yet, when, uhm, he knows he looks damn good? He’s pretty funny too – and his strength and power is already a no-brainer. Satoru can’t wrap his head around any possible reason why you wouldn’t like him; it’s basically a life or death mission at this point.

With that end goal in his mind and a spritz of perfume later, Satoru sashays out his apartment. Even though it’s already dark outside and he spent the whole day walking back and forth in his room trying to come up with ways to confess to you, he acts coolly all the way to your apartment.

This time around, he’s more than confident. He’s going to have you wrapped around his pretty little finger, “Wow,” is the first thing he says, pulling his blindfold down just to look at you.

Satoru feels blessed in that exact moment to witness how the heavens took their time with you, creating only the best out of the best and birthing the most magnificent person ever. Suddenly, he grows an urge to run to the countryside and thank your parents for going funky one night and creating you, because you’re an absolutely magnificent gift and it really baffles him how you’re real.

“Wow,” he repeats again, and you chuckle when he shakes his head. “You look beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you look him up and down, smiling in satisfaction. “You look very handsome yourself.”

Satoru’s been called handsome a million times before that it’s gotten too much in his head already, but hearing it come from your lips hits different. If he was excited before, it’s nothing compared to what he feels now when you loop your arm through his, dangling off his arm like you were a lover.

He knows it’s not real and this is probably just a friendly date for you – something he intends to clear up later – but it doesn’t stop him from puffing his chest up a bit, almost as if bragging to everyone around you that he was the one you’re with, and that he was the one you’re going to the movies with.

All your babbles about everything goes straight into one ear and out the other. He wants to listen to you, he really does, but he’s so intoxicated with your voice that he just ends up nodding at everything you say; his attention mostly on how sweet you sound and smell.

His feelings only intensify a hundred times more when you finally make it to the theatre. Not only is it dark, but you’re sitting right next to him, arms and thighs brushing against each other. He takes note of every little movement you make, smiling to himself when you don’t pull away from his thigh flush against yours.

In this close proximity, your perfume overwhelms his senses. He finds himself leaning closer just to get a little more taste of it, his arm resting on the armrest beside him and placing his cheek on his open palm.

He doesn’t even know what the movie is about. All he can see, hear, feel and recognize is you – nothing and no one but you. Just as he wanted, it’s just the two of you.

Satoru reaches out to the bowl of popcorn in his lap to distract himself from the need of kissing you already. He was so smug that he’s on this date with you; now he feels like the world is laughing and mocking at him because you’re so close yet so far away. The last thing he wants is to say something weird and have you running for the hills. It’s clear you don’t like him, after all.

You end up reaching for it the same time he does, making your fingers brush. It sends a jolt of electricity down his spine and he immediately retracts it.

Looking up at him with an apologetic smile, Satoru knows he’s messed up. “I’m sorry,” you blurt out, raising your hands in surrender with a nervous chuckle. “I should’ve gotten my own bowl instead.”

Satoru stares at you through his blindfold. You’re close enough that he can count your lashes – both top and bottom row – and he’s so stupefied at this point that he just says the first thing that comes to his mind; absolutely anything just to get your attention. “Cold,” he shows you his hand, “I’m cold.”

“Oh,” you nod and slip your fingers through his. Satoru nearly gasps at how electrifying the sensation is from having your smaller, softer fingers collide with his, your hands fitting perfectly in his bigger, calloused ones. Then, you close your intertwined hands and smush your cheek with it to transfer your heat – completely unaware that Satoru feels like he’s floating in his own Infinite Void right now. “Feel warmer now?”

“Yes,” he replies. “Extremely.”

Something beast-like wakes within him after that. Now that he knows you don’t mind touching him at all, Satoru can’t help but want to take out all his playing cards and just go fuck it. So he does – and he might regret, he might not – who cares? It’s just the two of you, and you’re the only one he ever cares about this much that he’d pretty much let you do anything at this point.

“You know,” Satoru begins, shifting until your joined hands are resting on top of his chest. His heart is just about ready to burst through its confines at this moment, but he holds back. It’s now or never. “Shoko and Nanami are annoyed that I talk about you all the time.”

Your eyes widen at his statement. “Really? Do you talk badly about me or something?”

“No,” he nearly groans in frustration, “You’re really pretty and cool. You’re amazing during missions, too, when you fight, it’s like I’m witnessing a warrior princess. So cool.”

This makes you laugh until the person sitting behind you rudely shushes you. You bow your head in apology, turning to Satoru with a softer smile this time; one that looks reserved and private compared to your big grins. “Oh, no,” he closes his eyes even behind his blindfold, “Don’t smile at me like that. I don’t think I’ll still be cool if I end up stuttering over my words.”

“Satoru!” you whisper-hiss, although your chest is filled with so much giddiness too that you’ve both forgotten about the movie; unaware that the entire theatre was crying over the main character’s friend’s death. “What are you going on about?”

He wants to laugh so damn hard. He thought confessing his feelings for you would end up in a pitiful heartbreak that you’d be weirded out and push him away. For a moment, he forgets it’s you, and that nothing is ever difficult or painful with you – other than, of course, you being oblivious, but that isn’t something he can’t fix. He’ll get you on the train one way or another.

“I have a confession.”

“Yeah?”

“I was practicing how to ask you out for a whole hour in the mirror,” Satoru whispers, careful to not ruin the melancholic mood of theatre. It doesn’t even surprise him that his world is filled with nothing but sunshine even if the world around you has descended into grief and loneliness. “I also called Nanami on first date tips.”

“Nanami?” you echo with a gasp, “Why Nanami?”

“Because he’s married, that’s why. Mans know some tips for sure.”

“Wait, so,” you chuckle nervously, and Satoru waits, waits for you to pull away or push him back – anything that would indicate discomfort. He’s patient the whole time, watching carefully as you only squeeze his hand and gesture to the both of you with your free one. “This is a date? Our first date?”

“Only if you want to be,” Satoru shrugs, grimacing afterwards at how sappy he sounds. “Well, I actually consider this our first date and I’ve been waiting for this for like forever now, so I sure as hell hope you want this too. I didn’t dress myself up today only to come back home crying.”

Satoru’s heart – if possible – only beats crazier and sings the syllables of your name when you start laughing harder to the point you have to muffle it by burying yourself in his bicep. He feels like his muscles and nerves could erupt at any moment. It’s crazy – absolutely insane – how you have him wrapped around your finger like this. He doesn’t complain though; he never will.

“I’m glad,” you mumble through his shirt, your erratic heartbeat matching kiss when you take the first tentative step of kissing his jaw.

Satoru stiffens underneath you, a low growl ripping from his throat. He’s feral, wild, drunk at the sight and scent of you. You make him feel like he’s fluctuating between dimensions, all the planets just crashing on one another until the stardust is left in your eyes because what else could be an explanation for what he’s feeling other than a supernova collision of hearts?

“You always make me feel so happy when you’re around that I still can’t believe you feel the same way. I was so worried that maybe you wouldn’t get my hints.”

Satoru groans, “What the hell? How long have you liked me?”

“I guess when you started bringing flowers to Megumi randomly just to piss him off.”

Satoru wants to rip his hair out. That was just a few weeks after you’ve started working with him, meaning you both have liked each other this whole time and he’s been suffering and feeling stupid just for nothing?

“God, Y/N,” he mutters to himself, “You really do know how to make a man go crazy, huh?”

That innocent smile on your face lets him know that as usual, you’re oblivious of everything. Satoru is right; he still can’t decide whether he wants to whack you in the head upside down. With a sigh, he ends up choosing the latter, nearly falling over his seat when you let out a surprised yelp at the feeling of his lips on yours.

It doesn’t take long before you grab onto his shirt and cling to dear life, laughter bubbling through your lips as you kiss. The sound is so precious he wants to bottle it up and keep it treasure for the rest of his life, but Satoru doesn’t rush anything.

With you and only with you is he ever capable of feeling like it’s just the two of you in a world filled with chaos and destruction.