#everyone remember ava's bi and so am i

[beastsovrevelation]

I've decided that Ava Silva

despises Spongebob.

Why?

For the plot of her villain annoys heroine until she falls in love with him, of course.

[possibilistfanfiction]

Just finished reading chapter 3 of footy au and I'm in LOVE. Can't wait for chap 4👀

here she is! — chapter 4: swapping jerseys

/

‘hi!’ ava says, all enthusiasm, waving on her little zoom screen. you physically ache for her, more than you want to admit; you’ll get to see her in two days, hopefully carving out a little quiet time before the friendly you’re set to play against her national team.

zuri, your agent, smiles, and you know she — like everyone ava seems to meet — is already charmed. ava has a team issued t-shirt on, her hair wet from a shower, since she’s a few hours behind you and just finished training. she’s so, so beautiful.

‘hello,’ zuri says. ‘it’s great to meet, even though it’s remotely. beatrice has told me a lot about you.’

‘good things, i’m sure.’ ava grins. ‘there are no bad things to tell, really.’

‘wonderful,’ you grumble when zuri laughs; you’re  already outnumbered — but, really, you feel seen and heard and cared for, by your agent and by ava. you feel like you have control and it’s not so scary, not anymore.

‘well,’ zuri says, ‘this is informal and not at all a contract or MOU meeting. i’ve been representing beatrice for years, now, and we’ve, honestly, never had to navigate something like this before. i am thrilled that’s been remedied, to be clear.’ it’s said with such a fond smile you can’t help yourself: the bloom of freedom in your chest, ever since the first day you met ava, has been life-changing, and you know zuri means her kind words. 

‘sweet,’ ava says. ‘well, i would, like, tell everyone and their mom that i’m dating beatrice xin, but i really want to do what’s bea’s comfortable with. it means a lot to me, that she feels safe.’

‘this will be easy, then,’ zuri says happily. ‘beatrice, since we know where ava stands, i know we’ve talked about this, and i’m sure you’ve talked to ava, but why don’t you just let us both know right now what you’re feeling will be best for you, and i’ll help you go from there.’

you take a deep breath, centering yourself: what you want is the same as ava — to shout from the rooftops that you get to kiss the most miraculous person you’ve ever known. ‘i would like to — i would like to not hide.’

ava looks at you like she’s falling in love all over again, and maybe she is, maybe that’s what you’re doing all the time. if you think it’s love, you remember, one of her favorite soft songs, it is. if you think it’s trust, it is.

you continue. ‘i don’t want to put out a statement, either about my sexuality or our relationship. not yet, at least. but if ava wants to post a picture of us or of me on her instagram, or even if i want to post something not strictly professional, i guess, or if we hold hands getting coffee or out at dinner, if we drive to games together, stuff like that. i —‘ you pause, straighten your shoulders; you hate that you can’t hold ava right now, can’t touch or kiss her, but her calm, happy expression is almost enough. ‘i love ava. i don’t want to hide that. i don’t want to hide that part of myself.’

‘i love you, too, bea,’ ava says, and zuri legitimately looks like she might cry.

‘sorry,’ she says, more to ava than to you. ‘i’ve managed beatrice since she was seventeen and i’m, just — whew! i’m happy for her! and for you! beatrice is the best.’

‘don’t worry,’ ava says, a gentle smile on her face, ‘i know.’

‘great. well then, it’s just details from here on out, then. ava, you’re out, right?’

‘yeah, as bi, queer, either one i’m happy with. i’ve posted about it and i’ve done a few interviews, and i was in our club’s pride campaign last season, so that’s cool. but, um, i’m definitely not cis, but that’s a lot of explaining, something that i don’t really want to do all the time, especially to so many people i don’t know. so, like, obviously bea knows, my teammates and friends know, now you know, but that’s relatively private information. i’m fine with she/her pronouns.’ ava shrugs. ‘that’s that at the moment.’

‘thank you for sharing,’ zuri says, just like she would any other information, easy and open and kind. ‘well, that’s always yours to disclose if, when, and how you see fit. i know diego is your agent, and he’s great, but please feel free to reach out to me if you ever want any guidance on PR. and, if you do decide to make a joint statement, however you’d like to do that, obviously i’ll coordinate with diego and it’ll be be our job to help with that as well.’

‘thank you, zuri.’ you feel a little overwhelmed, and very glad you get to see ava soon. you love national team spells — have always loved them — but you long for her in a way you’ve never felt before.

‘yeah,’ ava says. ‘thank you, a lot. i’m really glad bea has had someone like you for a long time, too.’

‘that’s very kind,’ zuri says, quiet and sincere, and then smiles. ‘well, i’ll leave the finer details of consenting to social media posts, any pda in public, whatever, up to you. if you need help navigating anything, you have my number. beatrice, we’ll speak when you’re back about your sponcon schedule for preseason.’

you nod.

‘and ava,’ zuri says, ‘kick some ass during that friendly. you’re a delight to watch play.’

ava grins. ‘will do. thank you.’

zuri signs off with a little wave and then it’s just you and ava, miles apart. ‘thank you, for that,’ you say.

‘baby,’ ava says, ‘of course.’ she bites her bottom lip for a second. ‘i do have a question, and it seems kind of silly.’

‘many of your questions are silly; that’s never stopped you before.’

‘ha ha.’ she swallows. ‘well, i know we’re together together, like, i obviously am thrilled. but — and definitely not to post or anything like that! — but, are we… girlfriends? partners? what do you prefer?’

‘either of those,’ you say, your heart racing a little at getting to call ava silva your girlfriend, your partner. ‘do you have a preference?’

she shrugs. ‘not most days, i don’t think. i like either. if it changes, can i let you know?’

‘of course, ava.’

her smile is so bright you think you might cry. ‘thanks, bea.’ she sighs. ‘my partner. ha. wild.’

‘it sounds — i like it.’

her happy expression doesn’t fade. ‘hey, can i post a picture? just a few of the off-season. maybe one of us playing that hans took for me? nothing obvious or anything.'

you let yourself have the time to think it over; while it’s not an official statement, ava posting the two of you training privately for two months of the off season is, well, pretty official. ‘i would really like that.’

‘yeah? really? don’t just say it for me, okay? i can bother camila and chanel until the end of time with these pictures.’

‘while i’m sure you already have —‘ she grimaces so you know you were right — ‘i meant what i said. i love you. i’m proud to be your girlfriend, and i don’t want to hide. if a picture of us playing makes you happy and you want to share it, then… honestly, it makes me happy too.’

ava flops back in bed, rocking her laptop and out of frame for a moment before she moves it and pops back up, on her side, steadied on her elbow. ‘i love you. also, i have pt in half an hour. can i send you a draft of the post by then?’

‘i have dinner in an hour and a half, so that should be just fine. but, ava, also, i trust you.’

she’s quiet for a moment. ‘i miss you. i got really used to sleeping in the same bed.’

‘i miss you too.’

‘but! i’ll see you in 45 hours, right?’

‘yes.’ you’re warmed by the silly fact she’s counting down the hours. ‘two sleeps.’

’think you can sneak into my room after?’

‘i think i can manage that.’

she laughs and you think you can manage just about anything.

/

you’re at dinner, sitting by yourself because you’d gotten there a little late. you don’t mind it: you like the quiet, and you’re reading a new series of essays in german you’d been waiting to dig into since ava gave it to you a week ago, when your phone dings.

instagram: @avasilva has tagged you in a post.

you take a deep breath — shaky, and so sure — and then click on the notification. it’s a carousel of pictures of your time in the alps: the field in early morning light; the view of the lake from your deck, the mountains glittering double in the distance; a pile of pastries ava had come home with one morning; ava with her favorite regulars at the bar you’d dance at. the seventh picture is of the two of you laughing, a ball between you, your foot up on it and your hands on your hips, ava in a sports bra and your shirt faithfully tucked in. hans had taken it, one day, just before ava had convinced him to turn the sprinklers on so you could run through them after you’d finished training, barefoot and free. it doesn’t mean anything, really, if you weren’t paying attention, but you had shared your home with her. you’re looking at her like you’ve never wanted anything else in the world: ava silva and football and the hazy summer sun.

avasilva had the best off-season convincing @beatricexin to take a break from running around with a ball & try every croissant in the alps 💅 i can’t wait to play for everyone soon, lfg!!

it’s funny, and endearing, and you did in fact eat a lot of croissants. you like the photo and ava sends you a text with a string of emojis that are mostly hearts and smiley faces, a random planet and dog thrown in, and a few mountains. 

i love you too, you text back. in bed that night, you think of how ava’s unabashed joy had turned your life on its head: you want and want and want, now, without remorse, something other than football. something bigger than football. 

bea <3 <3 <3 (9:06 pm)

Hello, is it okay if I post something? I can send you a draft.

Ava (9:08 pm)

yeah!!!!!!!!! of course :) as long as it’s not a nude do your thing ;) those stay between us

you roll your eyes but don’t let your hidden folder of nudes ava does enjoy sending you distract you from the soft pictures you’d taken of her one night, as the sun was setting. she’s wearing a hoodie — one of your hoodies — and shorts, her cap on backwards, barefoot, doing silly tricks in the small patch of grass behind your lakehouse next to the deck. you had asked her how, after all the complaining she did during training, she still wanted to be playing football right now, and she had laughed and flicked the ball over her head, then trapped it deftly. ’training is football,’ she’d said, ‘but this is fun. the beautiful game, bea. don’t forget.’

you pick your favorite: ava smiling at her own trick, standing still with the ball balanced on her foot, the hydrangeas around the same purple as the dusky sky. your instagram really is only pictures of you playing or sponsored content, most of which zuri posts herself or sends you copy for. there’s the occasional picture with your teammates after you’ve won something, but — your life has expanded far beyond your carefully pressed kits and the six foam rollers in your home gym, the stack of tupperware in your fridge. 

beatricexin Jogo bonito @avasilva

ava calls you laughing, delighted, and then tells you all about her day; you turn off all of your instagram notifications and fall asleep to the sound of her voice.

/

ava’s presser is in the morning for her, before training, so you get to watch clips during the tail end of your physical therapy. it feels, a little, even though you’d facetimed her when she’d woken up that morning during your lunch, that you haven’t gotten to hug or kiss or hold her in forever. you’ve never felt this way before: you’re used to your solitude, to your quiet. ava is loud, and incredibly tactile, and genuinely adores small talk; she doesn’t mind when she spills food or if her socks fall down or her hair is in her face; she stops to pet every dog she sees.

she’s remarkably charming in pressers, a little less unpredictable than she’d been a season ago. just as you’re settling into yourself, so is ava: football is fun but football is also important, and she, in her own way, is a leader too. 

‘what are some keys for you in this next match?’ a journalist asks.

‘well,’ ava starts, ‘we’ve been working on defensive shape, especially in the midfield, which i think will be really important. lilith reyes is a knockout, so making sure we shut down her ability to face up at the 9 will be important. and beatrice xin is obviously the best player in the world. she’s impossible to properly defend in man to man marking, so our discipline in formation from the front line and our 10s and 6s, especially, will be paramount. honestly, even double teaming her is hard, because she can get out of such tight spaces easily, so we’ll just see how we do there. it’s a good game to gauge where we are in that respect.’ she smiles. ’other than that, you know, have fun, kick ass, and finish our chances. hopefully i get a good goal or two.’

the entire room laughs, and ava smiles, and you feel your whole body warm, just like that. you carry the feeling through the rest of physical therapy, even though it’s definitely boring by this point, more prehab than anything, through your shower and through the walk to your presser. you get a few questions about your continued work in advocacy, team chemistry, and how you’re looking forward to your club season and the world cup. 

‘there’s a few new players on the roster that you’ll play against in a few days, maybe a different look to this team than what you might be used to,’ one journalist says. ‘do you have any specific team tactics you’re bringing into this upcoming match, especially as the world cup approaches?’

‘sure. any player called up and rostered is going to be dangerous, of course,’ you say. ‘and their veterans, as well, deserve a lot of credit. i’ve played with mary for years and there’s no better a leader than her.’ you really are thinking about the upcoming match when you continue, ‘and, obviously, in regard to some new faces we’ll see, ava silva can score when she wants, so we’ve got to make sure we keep her in check.’ you can’t help but smile. ‘easier said than done, of course. but beyond that, we just need to stick to our game plan: be patient, control the midfield, win tackles, finish. we’ve come together really well after this break, so i’m excited.’

you answer a few more specific tactical questions, and then you’re done. you say hi to a few of your favorite journalists that you haven’t seen in a few months, and then make your way back to your room. when you look at your phone, you roll your eyes at the number of texts you already see, try to wrack your brain for something you’d said that had been that interesting.

you answer when ava calls, and she’s laughing. ‘hi bea!’

‘hello, ava.’

‘wait, one second.’ she facetimes you with mary in the background, who waves with a good-natured eye roll at ava’s antics; she’s practically vibrating. ‘okay, here,’ she says, then turns her camera around so you can see her laptop on a youtube video, then presses play. ‘ava silva can score when she wants,’ you hear, and you groan.

‘ava.’

‘this is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about me.’

‘ava.’

she’s smiling too big for you to fight it: a laugh bubbles up out of your chest and then mary is laughing too. ‘lilith is gonna have a field day with this,’ she says.

‘i’m gonna print this out as a poster, i think,’ ava tells you, still playing it on loop in the background.

there’s a knock on your hotel room door and when you open it lilith is, indeed, holding out her phone.

‘hi lilith!’ ava says from your screen. ‘looking hot, as always. great and terrifying to see you, please don’t kill me in two days.’

you sigh. lilith leans against the doorframe. ‘ava silva can score when she wants?’

‘okay, you know what i meant.’

‘yeah!’ ava says. ‘i can score! in more ways than one!’

‘goodbye, ava.’

‘bye, love you,’ ava says, still laughing, and you hang up. 

lilith just looks at you for a moment and then rolls her eyes, but it’s not cruel. you think, maybe, she might be amused. ‘see you at dinner, beatrice.’

/

you squirrel away a little time with ava between team meetings and training, just an hour for coffee in between your two hotels. she drags you into the bathroom immediately and kisses you senseless the moment she walks in the door and sees you sitting at a table, your drinks and a few croissants already ordered.

‘i missed you so much,’ she says. ‘i know it wasn’t even that long, but, like, fuck, bea.’

‘i love you too, ava,’ you say, and kiss your way down her neck. ‘i missed you too. i, honestly, i’ve never really had someone to miss before. it was — it was nice, to get to know i’d see you. or, at least, that you missed me too.’

she softens, puts her hand to your cheek. ‘of course i missed you. and your ass, which i will be kicking tomorrow.’

‘you’ve been waiting on that one, haven’t you?’

‘for a week now, yeah.’ she rubs her thumb over your cheekbone. ‘hi.’

it’s a miracle. her brown eyes, the pretty set of her brow, the bow of her lips. a miracle. ‘hello.’

you kiss a little while longer, put your hand beneath her shirt and let yourself feel the tender press of her ribs; wind your hand to the soft skin of her back, trace up and down the scar there while she shivers. ‘i love you.’

‘i love you too.’

you sit in the corner of the patio, and you drink your coffee, and you let ava persuade you into eating a croissant — your resistance mostly for show, at this point — and you walk her to the lobby of her hotel. mary gives you a hug and ava squeezes your hand.

‘see you tomorrow,’ she says.

‘i hope you enjoy losing.’

ava laughs. ‘good luck with that.’

/

you don’t score all that often — 29 goals for your national team so far, which is fine by you; you’d rather set assist records anyway — but there’s something about a home crowd and ava wearing a different uniform than you, shooting you a wink in the tunnel before you walked out, jumping up and down a few times, serious and focused, before the whistle. you shake hands with mary before the coin toss (tails, you call, always tails), doing your very best to seem solemn and professional, even though, you know, after the game you’ll get a beer with her and shannon, who is watching from the box. you tuck your jersey in one final time, pull the double knots on your boots tight, and close your eyes, just for a moment, as you always do. you understand it all, again, a blessing: the hush of the crowd; their 8, always a little out of position, the through ball on to lilith in the wide space open again and again; the ache in your ankle minimal. and you understand something else, too: ava will be miraculous. and then, your final, favorite thing to look for before a whistle: there are so many xin 10 national team jerseys in the crowd; so many little girls, lots of whom aren’t white, and it makes you feel like you can do anything.

you don’t score often, but knowing ava is watching you is electrifying. at one point, you go into a tackle against her, hard and unrelenting, and she catches the top of her foot with her studs. you lie down for a second, let the sting wear off, and then accept her help to stand. ‘my bad, baby,’ she says, quiet enough and with a neutral expression, genuinely sorry. it makes you laugh, and you pat her shoulder, and the ref seems appeased enough that she just gives away a warning, and not a yellow. 

you get the ball from the restart, around midfield, and then find lilith in the wide space. lilith is fast and strong and so elegant; you might want to physically fight her not infrequently but you’ve never felt anything other than admiration for her on the pitch, and today is no different. she sends a ball in, around the penalty spot, and you’d timed your run perfectly. the cross is hard and fast, takes a nasty skip that forces you to reset your feet quickly, but you finish on a perfectly timed half volley that mary has absolutely no chance of stopping: no spin, upper 90, perfect.

the crowd erupts: it’s a friendly, but there’s 90,000 people watching and it certainly doesn’t feel like one. you run to the corner flag, letting out a yell that you so rarely let yourself, a momentary lapse in careful, constant restraint — what a fucking goal, you think. your teammates hug you and even lilith smiles, big and bright. when you jog back to midfield you catch ava smiling despite herself.

it’s not until the 67’ that ava equalizes; it’s not your fault, you think with a little bit of relief: you love playing against her but you’re the best in the world because you refuse to let yourself be anything but, and you do not personally want to be beaten. ava gets the ball on the left side, out wide, and you already know it’s going to be abysmal for your team when she manages an elastico and then a nutmeg, beating your right and center backs, one after another. you’d watched her goof around with the ball like this for months, lucky for it, her socks falling down and the alps calm in the distance, and it’s no different now: ava feints right and cuts back, sharp, onto her left foot, finishes, lightning fast, with a curling ball past your keeper’s outstretched hands. 

she laughs, after she scores, hands thrown into the air, and kisses the crest on her jersey, just for fun. you let out a deep breath, your hands on your hips, and when she sees you looking at her, you have to shake your head with an amused roll of your eyes. 

the game ends in a draw, exciting and fair, and the fans love it, which makes you happy. there are no injuries, no serious fouls, and your team got to work on defensive shape with a very lively forward, so, all in all, tons of positives. you tell your team this in the final huddle, and everyone cheers. most of all, you make sure to say, you had fun. 

after you break, you find ava lingering around midfield, talking to mary. you give them both hugs, and mary shoves you good-naturedly. ‘you couldn’t take it easy on me, xin? not even for one game?’

‘can’t let ava have all the glory,’ you say. ‘i have to remind people i can still score every now and then.’

ava grins. ‘that goal was so hot. tragically it was against us, but still, so hot.’

‘your goal was fine,’ you say, ‘i guess.’

ava gasps in mock offense, then laughs. ‘did you ask your backs how their ankles are feeling? i thought you’d enjoy the elastico.’

‘okay,’ mary says, ‘i’m going to go see my wife and let you two continue your weird foreplay.’

‘as if you didn’t spend years showing off in front of shannon,’ you say, and ava laughs as mary walks away.

‘well,’ ava says, ‘while we’re at it, do you want to trade jerseys?’

you think about it, and you know ava wouldn’t be upset at all if you said no, if you didn’t feel ready. but you want to wear her jersey, you want to see your name on her back. ‘let’s do it.’

‘yes!’ she immediately grabs the bottom hem of her jersey and lifts it over her head. maybe it’s because you played a full 90 and are exhausted and not really thinking; maybe it’s because you love her, but you smooth her wild hair down and then take your jersey off before you trade. you know she’s worn your jersey before, a fact that chanel had been delighted to inform you of the first time you ever talked on zoom, complete with many photos — but you’ve never worn hers. even though it’s your rival national team, it feels a little imbued with the magic and the joy ava brings every time she steps on the pitch, like you can absorb it through the sweaty material, a size smaller than yours. 

‘do you want a picture?’ ava’s national team social media manager asks, and you nod before ava can try to decide for both of you. it gets a happy, soft smile from her, and it’s worth it, a million times over, to put your arm around her shoulder while she puts hers on your hip.

later, after you debrief in your separate locker rooms, after you go through meticulous recovery, you meet ava outside the restaurant some of you are meeting at. ‘how do you feel about me posting the picture from today?’ 

‘i love you.’

she looks at you like you’ve given her the world; you don’t know how to, yet, tell her that she’s given it to you, in spades. ‘i love you too.’ she presses a kiss to your cheek. ‘so that’s a yes.’

‘that’s a yes, darling.’ you squeeze her hand. ‘maybe, if you give me incentive later, maybe i’ll even put it on my grid too.’

‘there’s a bathroom right inside, bea.’

‘we’re early, yes?’

ava practically sprints, dragging you by the hand while you laugh. mary rolls her eyes when you and ava emerge from the bathroom a few minutes later and find them at their table, ava’s hair an absolute mess and the buttons of your shirt misaligned. shannon just chuckles and pulls you in for a hug.

/

ava is starting in on her third croissant, which, to be fair, she’d gotten back in the middle of the night yesterday, and she’s jetlagged and starving, beatrice at 9 am — i think you would happily eat three croissants even if you weren’t jetlagged, ava. you have a few days off before club starts again, and you’re using them to kiss your partner and buy her as many croissants as she wants, even if she sprays crumbs everywhere telling you about an elaborate plan she and camila have for a prank on lilith (it’ll inevitably fail, but you like to see them try). 

you’re headed back from the bathroom and busy staring at the gentle cut of her bicep while she gestures animatedly, croissant and all, when two young teenage girls, probably 13 or 14, come up to the table. you have over a hundred million followers on instagram, but you don’t really get recognized in public too often, mostly because you — at least, in the past — have mostly posted about football and sponcon. but ava, charming and friendly and so pretty, is, of course, amazing at social media, and open and happy, and gaining followers faster than you ever had, especially since she’d started posting pictures with you. 

‘hey,’ ava says, and the girls nervously hovering near your table both blush profusely. ‘i’m ava, what’s up?’

‘ava silva, oh my god,’ one of them says. ‘hi.’

ava smiles. ‘how’s your day?’

‘good,’ the other says. ‘so good, oh my god. sorry, sorry. i’m mia, this is taylor.’ she points to her friend. ‘you’re, like, our favorite player.’

‘that’s really nice,’ ava says, and she spots you from the corner of her eye. you know that you don’t have to go over, that you could go back to the bathroom and she would text you when they leave, but you want to be with her. maybe not without saying anything publicly, but — ava is your partner. ava is the love of your life. 

‘hi,’ you say, sit down at the table next to ava, and she really has to stop herself from bursting into laughter when the girls legitimately look like they might pass out. 

‘beatrice xin,’ mia whispers. 

‘hello,’ you say.

‘you’re — whoa. beautiful.’

‘taylor,’ mia chastises, but ava is already laughing delightedly.

‘beatrice is beautiful, it’s okay.’

‘do you play football?’ you ask, mostly because you think ava would keep this going and never, ever put them out of their misery. it gets them going on a calmer little explanation of their club team, the positions they play, how they saw your last friendly and even got mary’s autograph once at a sleepaway camp. eventually, ava asks if they want a picture — they do, and they almost have tears in their eyes — and you let them stand between the two of you and ava easily gets someone a table over to take a picture. they profusely thank you and then leave, squealing a little, and ava takes your hand under the table.

‘you good?’

‘you think i’m beautiful?’

ava laughs, easy and light, as if this is the most ridiculous thing she’s ever heard in her life. ‘bea, you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever known.’

/

you go to the ballon d’or together; you wear a suit without a shirt underneath, and, after a little pestering, let your hair down and sweep it over one of your shoulders, wavy and long; ava wears a gorgeous gown, a slit far too high up her leg to be forgotten by you very easy. you debate whether or not you could just ditch the entire thing and go home instead. she’s so soft and so happy it quells the anxious chatter in your chest. and you don’t say anything, but she posts to her instagram story and everyone takes pictures of you holding hands on the red carpet and nothing changes. the world doesn’t shift on its axis. ava holds your hand.

and then you win — again — but this time it feels special, it feels real: ava wipes tears off her cheeks while you accept the trophy on stage, she whistles and cheers your name. everyone knows now anyway, you think, so:

‘i’d like to thank my partner, ava,’ you say, and will your voice not to shake, after you’d thanked your teammates and the staff who makes it all possible, ‘who plays the game with more joy than anyone i’ve ever known.’ you lift the trophy in her direction and then let out a deep breath. the lights are bright but ava is brighter, and your whole life unfolds before you: ava on the pitch; ava waking up in your big bed; ava’s clothes in your closet; ava’s smile in the middle of the afternoon when you finish an op-ed and walk out of your office. ava by the ocean; ava in the mountains; ava, asleep on your shoulder in the middle of the sky: ava, everywhere.

/

things are beautiful, for months: ava spends the night often; a few times you fall asleep on her couch and camila is delighted when you shuffle out of ava’s bedroom in the morning, probably hours after they’ve both woken up. one night, after a game where ava scores five goals, you put her jersey on and look at her, lying in your bed with a strap-on on, the dildo shiny and her eyes wide when you let yourself sink down onto it. she puts her hands on your hips and it’s the most overwhelming feeling, to have ava touching you, to have ava inside of you and filling you up so much you think you might scream, to have ava telling you that you’re beautiful, and sexy, and so, so good. you order pizza afterward, after she’s come more times than she claims she can count, and eat in bed, pepperoni grease and the way she groans and pats her stomach when she’s full, smiling at you with so, so much love. you do promo for this seasons’ kits, and you take pictures together for the pride mural a local artist is doing. none of it feels scary; all of it feels full of joy.

things are beautiful. things are so, so beautiful.

it’s a perfect ball into the box from camila, clinical and ruthless, and time slows down when you watch, in excitement and then seeping, unstoppable dread, as ava goes for it. she’s not looking anywhere but the ball, but from your view at the 18 you can see it all happen: ava jumps and heads the ball, perfectly, but then a defender trips, the goalkeeper slams into ava’s side, and ava’s feet get swept from underneath her. ava falls, hard, onto her back, with a cry of pain. 

the ball is in the back of the net but white hot panic is shooting through you — you have never cared about a goal, or sponsorships or trophies or football less than you do right now. lilith is by ava’s side immediately, because she had been closest, and she quickly waves for the medical team to come on. it takes a few seconds for you to reach her, although it feels like years. ava’s eyes are closed and she’s whimpering; you’re not sure if she’s trying to not make noise because she’s hurting or if she’s mostly scared.

‘ava,’ you say, afraid to touch her beyond the gentlest caress of her cheek you can manage. 

she opens her eyes — a little unfocused, a little clouded — and you blink back your own tears to wipe hers. ‘i can’t move.’

you don’t care, in that moment, about anything other than her. ‘can you feel my hand?’

you don’t let her move to where you’ve grasped hers, but she nods. ‘yeah,’ she says, the slightest bit of relief bleeding through the fear. ‘yeah.’

‘okay,’ you say. ‘that’s good. that’s really good, darling.’

jillian kneels by ava’s head, puts both hands on either side so she can’t move it, and paramedics already have a backboard and neck brace ready. ‘ava,’ she says, ‘what’s your pain level? where?’

‘i —‘ ava starts to cry, hard, and lilith and jillian look at you for a moment before you tuck a strand of hair behind her ear.

‘breathe, ava,’ you say. ‘i’m here, we’re all here. breathe.’

ava sniffles and you just keep running your hand through her hair. she looks up at jillian. ‘a nine,’ she says, her words coming shaky and scared. ‘my back, where i, last time, but everything is numb and tingling and i —‘ she can’t even finish her sentence before she has to close her eyes and groan; her hand tightens around yours, strong and even a little painful. it brings a rush of relief through you and when jillian sees the motion, she nods and offers you the smallest smile.

‘okay,’ jillian says, ‘we’re going to get you in a c-collar and then on the backboard. i’m just going to ask you a few questions, and then we’ll get you some pain meds and take you to the hospital.’

‘it’s okay,’ ava says, trying so hard to convince herself, and maybe you too. her breath is still coming too fast, and it’s all you can do to wipe her tears. 

‘yes, it’s okay,’ you tell her, even though it’s very clear that it isn’t. ‘it’s going to be okay, ava.’

jillian gets ava in the c-collar, and then reaches for her hands; you ache when you let go but you move to kneel just above ava’s head so she can still see you. 

‘squeeze my hands,’ jillian says, and you think everyone is relieved when she can. ‘wonderful, ava.’ she moves down to put her palms against the bottom of ava’s studs. ‘can you push down on my hands for me?’

ava’s feet move, just the tiniest bit, and it’s bad but, still, it’s something.

‘fantastic,’ jillian nods to the paramedics and then looks to you. ‘we need to get her on the backboard.’

you understand: this will hurt her; ava is hurt. you nod, and you situate yourself so that the paramedics have room to work but ava can still see you. you haven’t noticed, but your teammates are in a protective circle around you, a hush throughout the stadium, everyone shaken — ava’s goal, at least for now, forgotten, far less important than ava. she tries to stay quiet but when the paramedics roll her on her side, just for a second, she cries out. you can’t touch her; you can’t hold her, and it breaks your heart.

the paramedics count and then lift her onto a stretcher. jillian lets you take ava’s hand again, and she keeps her eyes closed, trying to breathe. before you get to the sideline, coach superion stops you, and you kiss ava’s forehead, not caring who sees. you haven’t cared less about anything in your entire life.

the game had been waning down, in the 87’, and so it feels fair and it also feels like a deep kindness when coach superion squeezes your shoulder. ‘vincent is bringing your things from the locker room; give me a moment to sub you off properly and then you can go.’

‘i — the game isn’t over.’

coach superion looks at you very seriously. ‘beatrice, go.’

it’s permission in its command, and you jog toward the half line, let camila rub your back soothingly while you wait for the fourth official to put up the sub numbers on the board. 

‘we’re all right behind you,’ she says.

you nod. ‘thank you.’

/

‘you have to go to the world cup, bea,’ ava says. she’s in bed, connected to way too many monitors and there’s a few bags running into her IV, in a back brace after emergency surgery — which, according to dr. salvius and ava’s neurosurgeon, dr. reya, had been ultimately extremely successful. but still, a re-fractured vertebrae and new spinal cord inflammation is, at best, months of painful recovery: inpatient rehab for a few weeks, maybe another surgery, and then hours and hours of outpatient rehab every day.

‘no, i really don’t.’

‘beatrice.’

‘you matter more to me than… anything, ava,’ you say, and you kiss her hand so you don’t have to cry looking at her. she’s in pain; she’s trying to stay off of pain meds as much as possible so she can know everything that’s going on. ‘you matter to me more than a world cup; more than football.’

‘i know, my love.’ she tucks a loose strand of hair, escaped from your bun, behind your ear. ‘but you have to go. i don’t want you to give this up for me.’ 

you don’t know what else to say; your entire body aches. ‘i don’t want to go.’

she holds back tears; your team plane leaves in a few hours and lilith is waiting outside of the room to drive with you to the airport. you’d spent all night, while ava was in surgery, organizing spreadsheets of who was in town, who could visit so that ava would never have to be alone, and looking into the few inpatient rehab facilities dr. salvius had directed you to, making sure ava could have a spot.

‘i know, bea,’ she says. ‘but you gotta go win a world cup for me. i’m gonna wear your jersey when i walk again, okay?’

you cry and she lifts her hand — steadily and without too much effort, and, even though there’s a deep, deep hurt in your chest, you feel relieved and proud — and wipes your tears. ‘i love you,’ you say. ‘ava, i love you so, so much.’

‘i know,’ she says. ‘i love you too, bea. i’m gonna be so happy for you when you win.’

when you get on the plane, a few hours later, lilith doesn’t say anything from where she sits next to you when you look out the window and cry.

[chejoana]

I posted 67 times in 2022

18 posts created (27%)

49 posts reblogged (73%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@florawelch

@joanatheskammer

@katesharmasheart

@sotorubio

@superflytrap

I tagged 66 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#druck - 58 posts

#skam es - 4 posts

#skam nl - 2 posts

#'ava has become more likeable' they literally stripped her of her personality what - 1 post

#zoe i love you - 1 post

#answered - 1 post

#awww - 1 post

#this exactly - 1 post

#prev tags she sure is - 1 post

#literally - 1 post

Longest Tag: 82 characters

#'ava has become more likeable' they literally stripped her of her personality what

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Whyyyyy is Mailin our main like literally the new writers gave her so few clips on Isi's season it doesn't make sense that this is who they're going with??? Literally everyone else is right there also an Ava season is long overdue.

6 notes - Posted February 17, 2022

#4

Love how the first clip is out and I couldn't care less lmao

7 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

#3

Well the combination of my disinterest for Mailin and how busy I am got to me and I haven't watched the last few episodes of Druck. I hear Zoe and Yara are together so good for them.

9 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

#2

THEY FINALLY REMEMBERED TO MAKE YARA'S INSTAGRAM PUBLIC

19 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The power that bi Zoe has making me watch every clip on the day that it drops when last week I couldn't care less

43 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[onehawtwriter-blog]

My 1st hello

I guess I could introduce myself – not an easy feat for someone who is not the biggest fan of being perceived. It is far easier to lurk here and reblog things that resonate while never actually penetrating the veil between observer and possibly observed (I say possibly, because I do not find myself interesting enough to garner many views and that is okay, honestly).

I had a tumblr once before, years ago, but I do not know what happened to it. I started this one maybe 6-ish years ago, but never did anything with it. I preferred Twitter (but it is a hellscape there now and maybe always was) and no where has quite the same presence. Certainly, lacks the mass fandoms and art one finds here. Inane little detail, but I do love certain fandoms. I found some of my longest lasted and closest friends because I was a Buffy fan. Some of the smartest fans I’ve seen belong to the Warrior Nun fandom – I thought I was intelligent, I really did, but dayum y’all. I don’t know how to say “I want to be friends because your brain makes me happy” and not sound insanely weird. So, I lurk and sometimes comment. The art here also blows my mind. I would trade just about anything I have to be able to do half of what I see some of these artists capable of.

I am a reader and a writer. I took a hiatus from writing for a good ten years, both as a result of crippling imposter syndrome and because I was pursuing a higher education (part of the imposter syndrome believe it or not) and that shit puts a damper on the creativity. I worried that I’d lost my ability to tell stories because I could no longer see or hear them in my head. Then, towards the end of my internship for my Masters in Clinical Mental Health, the voices returned. Started as a Skyrim fanfic (yes, I am just nerd enough) and then kind of developed a life of its own. Now, though it has some easter eggs related to the original inspiration, it is its own little world filled with monsters, magic, elves, vampires, seriously pissed off gods, and a love story akin to Orpheus and Eurydice (or, for the Warrior Nun fans out there: Ava and Beatrice) between a DL Disney Princess (my sunshine girl) and her gloriously grumpy, morally dark grey vampire girlfriend – I don’t write everyone LGBT, but I do always have a bi lead and a feral little demi LI. The one little fanfiction turned into a trilogy, with a prequel, and a planned collection of short stories filled with the lore, mythology, and legends of the world I created.

I call it (atm) The Overhaven Trilogy.

Book One will be In Pursuit of Lost Echoes (working title).

If my AuDHD (and the imposter syndrome that tells me it isn’t interesting/important) will allow me to remember to make regular updates I might post things here. Artwork I’ve commissioned of the characters. Notes on things I’ve picked up or researched (there’s a LOT). My writing method. Short stories or snippets I want to share. If anyone is interested, they’re also, always, welcome to ask questions, because I never know exactly what to talk about. Asking makes it easier for me.

So… maybe some of my character art next? A bit of an introduction to the characters that have overtaken my brain for over a year now – and the one that has existed there since I was 17 years old.

I’ll try to include a link to the artist (check to see if they have tumblr first. If not than to their twitter, which is where I found them).

[elenarodriiguez]

“if you refuse to make a move, i will.” | s.r. & c.r.

summary: ava knows that connor and sarah are made for each other, and if it takes her twisting connor’s arm to get them there, then so be it.

pairing: sarah reese x connor rhodes

word count: 1156

read it on ao3

Ava has always considered herself to be a good friend to Connor, their rocky start aside. Their competitive work relationship was how they’d initially bonded, their snarking and teasing just being another facet of how they communicated their admiration and affection for one another. That being said: Connor Rhodes is absolutely fucking oblivious and you can’t convince Ava of anything else being the truth.

She had watched for months now as he had reduced Reese to a blushing flustered mess with every interaction, and how the curly haired woman managed to do the same to him whenever she took control of a situation. At first it had been somewhat bearable, something she could use as ammunition whenever Connor’s head was growing a little too large. But now it was boring, tiresome and repetitive.

Not to mention his puppy dog look he constantly wore now that their interactions had slowed entirely, due to a rotation primarily on the paediatric ward. However, she would not allow herself to be declared a bad friend by anyone, and if she didn’t do anything, then Halstead would be next in line, and not as nice about it.

It had taken her a couple of weeks to figure out how she would get rid of abandoned puppy Connor, even if dopey loved up Connor would take his place, but in the end, it’s Sarah who does all of the work for her. Ava technically wasn’t supposed to hear the young psychiatrist speaking with her donor recipient, but from what she remembered about the teenager, she was rather distressed prior to the surgery for some reason that she refused to divulge to anyone.

“Look Tara, I know the thought of not being yourself, not loving who you love is terrifying, but this new heart, that won’t change who you are as a person. Who you are at your core.”

“How would you know?” The girl snarks, and Ava has half a mind to jump in in Reese’s defence.

“Well, I had a heart transplant when I was about your age, maybe a little older. And I was absolutely terrified that I would stop loving my girlfriend afterwards, nearly refused the surgery altogether because of it. But, when I was released from the hospital and I saw her for the first time, those feelings were still there. And I have no doubt that when you look at Morgan, you will feel the exact same way about her.”

“Oh. Are you still dating your girlfriend?”

“No, no, she wanted to stay in New York after college, I wanted to move to Chicago, in the end it was just better for the both of us to split up while we still liked one another.”

“Who wants to live in Chicago? No offence.”

“None taken, I think. Look, you get some rest before Dr. Bekker comes around for your post-ops, and if you want to talk then I’m just a page away. Take care now.”

She walks out of the room smiling to herself, and Ava has to take half a step back so that Sarah doesn’t walk into her and send them both flying. As soon as she sees the blonde lurking at the doorway, she turns her bright beaming smile onto the cardiothoracic attending, who doesn’t even bother to stutter out an excuse of any kind.

“I didn’t realise you were queer Dr. Reese.”

“I identify as bi, but I thought you already knew that. I went to pride last year with Maggie and everyone from the ED once she found out I wasn’t straight. I think she was trying to show that she was supportive, it’s sweet. You’re gay, correct?”

“Yes I am. I haven't had the chance to dip my toes into the dating scene here, work is a cruel mistress.”

“That it is.” Sarah laughs before getting a page and taking off in the direction of the paediatric psychiatric ward, shouting a goodbye over her shoulder.

As soon as Ava is done with her post-op checks on the ward, she texts Connor and asks him to meet her in the staff room for a ‘bitch session’. It takes him no time at all to meet her there, shutting the door behind him and leaving the bustling emergency department behind them. He makes them both mediocre coffee, filling his own beverage with a cavity inducing quantity of sugar, and carries the mugs over to the table that Ava is sitting at.

“You know,” Ava says as she takes a calculated sip of her drink, “I didn’t realise Reese swings my way too.”

Connor chokes on his gulp of coffee, his face turning bright red as he glowers at his friend, whose lips twist into a sly smirk.

“Why are you bringing up Sarah’s sexuality?” He asks once he regains his composure, not bothering to take another sip to try and cover up his otherwise unwarranted curiosity.

“I overheard her talking with a patient, Tara Eames, just now when I was doing post-ops. She mentioned something about an ex-girlfriend back in New York and it got me thinking.”

“How’s that?”

“Oh, nothing major, just that if you refuse to make a move, I will.”

“Excuse me?”

“Please, everyone knows you have a thing for her, and I can’t say I blame you. In fact if I were a betting woman, I’d say you have a type - Dr. Charles’s daughters.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He scoffs, trying to retain what little dignity he has left.

“If that’s the case, then you won’t mind me asking her out for drinks after shift today. Only, I’ve heard that there’s this great lesbian bar not too far from here, and I’m sure Sarah’s been by now.”

“You wouldn’t, you don’t even like her like that.”

“What’s not to like Rhodes? She’s intelligent, compassionate, not to mention stunning! It’d be a shame to let her better qualities get overlooked and ignored by certain cowardly male cardiothoracic attendings. That is, of course, if no one else is actively pursuing her.”

“I know what you’re doing Ava, it won’t work.” He snarls, slamming the mug onto the table.

“Won’t it? By the end of the day Rhodes, or Sarah might be on her way to becoming Dr Sarah Bekker.”

She gets up and flounces out of the room, leaving her half-filled mug by Connor’s as he glares at her. To the surprise of absolutely no one whatsoever, he wastes no time in seeking out Sarah and asking her out for drinks later, doing it in front of Bethan, one of the more chatty nurses on the ward. And if he makes sure to place his arm around Sarah’s waist as he guides her out of the hospital through the emergency department for all to see, especially Ava, well she isn’t going to call him out on it.

Not until the best woman speech at his wedding anyways.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Omg I remembered being upset about Lucas story but I was also not paying that much attention because he (accidentally) misgenders Andy at the beginning and I was just like 🔪🔪🔪🔪 catch this hands, for a few chapters (which looking back maybe maybe I took it too personal because a few months later I had a gender crisis hahahshs gender is hard) , also I was romancing Andy, Ava and Stacy <3

oh ur valid. honestly i always forget that part happens because it was so?????? choices blease u dont have to introduce a character being trans by having a random accidental misgendering (that doesnt even make much sense cuz andy's been out for a long time, like, cmon). i dont hold it against lucas because i think he handled it well - he apologized and didnt do it again and didnt try to make excuses and he seemed genuinely sorry so its not like he was Evil, but also like ur valid fjdndidnd especially if it was sensitive for u at the time, u know? and i would have definitely understood if andy had been more upset at him, too

but it was hard to me not to relate to lucas as well because his plotline hits sooo hard to me. my parents arent crazy like his but i always felt the pressure to do everything and be Perfect and thats how i burnt out at 18 and got into a huge depression slump for a year lmao. plus hes latino so theres that. and hes just... such a cute and fun dork. also canonically bi! thats hard to come by, esp in choices where they seem to think having ur LI even look at someone not ur MC's gender is a crime or some shit. anne ways

but even if i didnt like lucas i just cant let that plotline go, as an educator. like holy shit, what happened to him was awful and it was the school's (and his family's) fault, not his. the whole book treats it like lucas has done some terrible immoral thing but what he was doing is no different from self harm. it was making him anxious, affecting his health, his sleep, his wellbeing, and he was doing it because the circumstances made him feel like he had to to be able to perform. and somehow hes the bad guy who needs to Repent for this awful mistake?????

like this is such an awful victim blaming plotline and its such bullshit and its all so no one will question such an awful school system that literally pushes children beyond their limit until they break and puts academic performance and competition above all else. like as a teacher if i found out a single one of my students was taking focus pills to keep up with the pressure i would cry my eyes out, then fucking raise hell with administration until we got them the support they needed AND rethought the curriculum organization so the pressure would be lower and it didnt happen again. one student sacrificing their health for school is one too many

like when i got to that part i just started crying immediately because GOD id fucking kms if i found out i or the organization i work for was doing this to our students. and i fully expected mr cooper to get him help?????? like especially with his whole speech about the shaky hands and trouble sleeping, i was like Obviously this kid is a victim of the meat grinding capitalist school system and as an educator mr cooper will want to get him psychological help. INSTEAD he was like lucas I will get you expelled and call tje lolcueBDHDBDUDBD CALLING THE POLICE ON A BROWN STUDENT BECAUSE HE WAS SELF MEDICATING ARE YOU KIDDING ME. and then i expected choices to have us be like "lucas im so sorry this happened to you" but instead all the options were super judgy and clearly taking "lucas is in the wrong" as the premise of it all I WANTED TO DIE

and its suuch a dangerous message to send ppl like u r literally naturalizing victim blaming with that shit and it's all so no one questions why the school system is making literal KIDS burn out in high school anyway. and we could have had such an amazing plotline discussing how this is a systemic issue in a society that puts ppl at constant competition with each other and is demanding more and more productivity until everyone's mental health breaks. and we could even have a discussion about how racism plays into this and how as a brown student lucas knew he had to be perfect and have a spotless record and be the best out of everyone to get a shot at an academic life and couldn't afford to have a single spot in his record (much less a drug-related one as a latino) because he knew thatd be the end for him. instead we got............... victim blaming. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Im okay. im okay. im fine. i am FINE

anyway

but also ur valid <3 i like stacy but i was never interested in her as a LI, like her interactions with MC felt kinda bland to me? like not romantically appealing, idk. i think at least part of that is because i played with a male MC so his interactions with stacy just felt like.... idk bland heterosexuality? i definitely cared for her and wanted to help her but i couldnt ship her with MC, so yeah, it was andy ava and lucas for me didnfif

[bibuckaroo]

like, i saw supernatural trending again today and since i’m back on my spn bullshit because i’m doing a rewatch (as if i ever stopped being on my spn bullshit) i would just like to state that this show could’ve been such a serve if they didn’t decide to get rid of every single character that appeared besides sam and dean!

like, ash?? ThE pShYciC kIdS?? BELA??? SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL, I AM GOING INSANEEEEE!

ash was a total fucking genius that could help the boys in any fucking situation they needed while still being the most laid back guy ever and partying so fucking hard (and if they ever decided to actually make official bi!dean i could totally seee them hooking up from time to time - until dean got with cas of course) (this is also in honor of chad lindberg who’s been serving us so much today)

THE PSYCHIC KIDS???? WOULD’VE BEEN ABSOLUTELY FERAL WTF, so much wasted potential there (again, but this time i really fucking mean it) like i never saw anybody talking about them, but let’s face it they could’ve had the most badass storyline instead of that cheap hunger games version, since we find out later anyway that all of that spectacle was useless because sam was lucifer’s true vessel not any of the other kids and sam would be the one that had to survive. so we could’ve had explored these amazing things with these different kids that had superpowers, sam could’ve trained them and proved that he could’ve been the most incredible leader ever (and if azazel was truly smart he would’ve done just that, because sam wouldn’t just abandon these lost kids that were just like him) we had jake who sam could’ve easily bonded because of all the traumas they had been through, we had andy that was hilarious and would’ve been such a serve, we had lily that would’ve been the problematic one that everybody loved (and DiD i MENTION SHE WAS A FUCKING LESBIAN??? I DIDN’T EVEN REMEMBER THAT) and meanwhile throughout all of that we could’ve had ava trying to manipulate everybody to come to azazel’s side so he could get what he wanted in the end. THEY WOULD’VE BEEN A BADASS LITTLE ARMY OKAY????

AND BELA!!!! DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON MY BABY, LOVE OF MY LIFE, GREAT THIEF THAT DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER, WTF!!!! She truly had the means for everything, she always had some kind of information, she was skilled, a great liar, knew how to handle herself and gave the boys a run for the money!!! She could come around for certain episodes when the boys needed help (or she did) and it would be full of snark all the time, but in the end they would be grateful for each other (and from time to time her and dean would have angry sex because i said so and i’m still bitter that didn’t happen). she could’ve had told the boys she made a deal and she was going to hell and they could’ve helped her and actually saved her which would strengthen their bond and make her trust them for real, which in turn would make it even more heartbreaking when they couldn’t save dean from going to hell, because the demons weren’t willing to let his soul go!!!!

this got really long, but LISTEN!!!! I NEED SOMEONE TO REWRITE THIS SHOW WITH THE EXACT SPECIFICS THAT I POINTED OUT!!! to everyone who got this far into my rambling, ty for your time ly 🤍

[angieschiffahoi]

do you think any gay ship will happen on the show? the producer was really selling it tho, saw some stuff on twt. but i honestly doubt they actually will

I’ve read some of the interviews and I see how anyone would be skeptical. I mean, they did what everyone does in these cases: tease a possibility without giving away too much. Which is better than saying “Yes!” and then just... not doing it.

Ava is too good to pass up as a bi lead in my opinion. Teen shows are about to lose Clarke and if these people are smart enough, they’ll know gays tend to flock and migrate.

BUT:

There’s a fundamental problem, regarding the main characters as they are now: they’re very religious (except Ava) and they have taken the vows (except Mary) and that means abstinence, gay or straight. So, unless they are a different type of nuns and they’re not the “married to Jeaus” type, I don’t see neither Beatrice nor Lilith ending up in relationships (Ava & Mary could though), unless they renounce their vows (which is totally accepted by the Church). I don’t see Beatrice doing that. BUT in case we find a way for them to have relationships, I’m going to talk about two scenarios I see possible, the first I think is more realistic than the second:

- Beatrice is going to get a girlfriend and Ava is going to get a boyfriend (I doubt they’re bringing JC back, since he wept like a little baby when the Tarask attacked and she just ditched him). The good part about this show is that we do have Beatrice, who is canonically gay. So, if we put aside the fact that she’s a nun (and that could happen in a number of ways), she could get a love interest that is female besides Ava. But let’s remember that having carnal relationships while being a member of the Catholic clergy, especially nuns who are litterally married to Jesus (and therefore God), equals to cheating.

- The writers realize that Ava & Beatrice have a really strong chemistry, that fans have picked up and are interested in seeing. Having the main character be canonically bi and in a gay romance (in the long run) wouldn’t cost them that much, since they probably alienated half of the super-religious fanbase anyway, with all of the swearing and, well, the blasphemy. This show treats Catholicism as fantasy realm and I’ve seen nuns lose their shit for waaaaay less.

One thing that makes me believe they do not have a fixed idea on Ava’s possible love story with a guy as epic and endgame (maybe, idk, a prophet, an angel, a demon etc.) is the fact that they dropped the JC storyline after the first few episodes. It wasn’t a love story and Mary shoves it in Ava’s face after three minutes of her ditching his scarred-for-life arse. The first four episodes were always about Ava and her journey to find herself - she didn’t want to be a warrior nun, she just wanted to have fun and they showed us that. They looked like the stereotypical endgame hetero romance (meet cute, star crossed, eloping, etc.), but then they all just dropped that storyline so fast, by the end I forgot it existed in the first place. And if they have something else planned, they would’ve hinted at it, but I get the feeling that they want to focus on characters and not romance (or they wouldn’t have made a show about nuns!).

So, yeah. I can see something happening in the future, but they need to solve some things first. I am not sure Beatrice is ever going to renounce her vows (since she is so respectful of the Church and its rules, but also feels like she has a great amount of Faith) and that could be a problem. But Adriel made a whole point about Catholicism being fake, so either he was bluffing or Bea can get a chance at non-platonic love through the plot itself.

[I haven’t read anything about the comics, so I don’t know if some of my questions get answered in them or if the nuns get love interests, because they are different than ‘normal’ nuns]

[saraa-lancee]

So what issues would you like them to tackle that hasn’t already been done on the show before?

(I just want to say this is my first ask ever and I've been here since... God maybe 2013? So thank you!!)

I would LOVE to see a new dimension to sexuality. I'm also casually of the team that's "Sara herself should say Bisexual" because Bisexual has only been said once on screen and Nate said it casually.. We have a scene where Sara says tells Nurse Lindsay that Lesbian isn't a bad word yet the show kinda doesn't act that way about Bi. Bi erasure is an issue that would be interesting-- since Sara is with Ava, it would be neat to have some line of "i didn't pick a team" or just along the lines of Still Bi With A Woman.

(They also missed an opertunity with Charlie to use neutral pronouns of some kind)--> a discussion further on gender identity would be cool too. There are casual set ups for this with Charlie, like in the Shakespeare episode, but nothing is ever really taken completely seriously or honestly even explicitly. I would really enjoy a nonbinary or intersex narrative in this particular context because I feel like the team of legends (as the people the characters are) would fit really nicely with that. But it would be cool to have a trans character that Gideon helps? Because the arrowverse trans character (in Supergirl-- Nia) is already transitioned. It would be cool to have a transitioning characer in a really casual way even (a particular scenario would be New Character leaving sickbey while someone else walks in. Other person asked if New is feeling OK and New just says like "oh yeah, just my hormones.). But yeah anything with gender identity.

I always hunger for more disability stories, but based on how they Wrote Sara's blindness... yikes. I remember watching a panel or something on YouTube about how Caity was hoping that Sara was at least going to have a cane or be shown to struggle with some stuff, but the writers ignored all of that. So its kind of touchy based on that but I think it would be really neat to have someone with a prosthetic (or even just an amputation, someone born without a limb, etc.)-- it would be a beautiful narrative about 'Gideon can literally grow you a new arm' and that character firmly saying no, this is me, having this difference doesn't make me less, you aren't "fixing" me because I'm not broken, I like myself, etc, whatever.

I know that for me personally one of the best things about the show is that Sara and Ava don't have to come out, and everyone just treats them like normal, but I think some kind of homophobia narrative would be good, not to a big extent but just to the extent like in S1 when Kendra and Ray move in 1950s and that dynamic only with the girls. Like, for the show to acknowledge homophobia in such a direct way, as they did with interracial relationships. This beyond the obvious homophobia of the Nazis. (I personally can't think of an aspect where its implied, but sometimes I can miss or misinterpret implicated stuff like that).

I would love to see a return to POC cultures and narratives (narratives outside of racism) S1 with Kendra and Carter and the Egyptian culture aspect, Amaya and Zambesi aspect. We see a tad bit of this with Zari and the bollywood scene, and Japan post WW2, but they are more side aspects now. It would be neat to go to India or other places in southeast Asia (culturally), or Central/South America. Overall, I would just like to see more of that cultural aspect because human culture is something that interests me a lot and I feel like can be easily casually thrown in with time travel--- traditional clothes, buildings, and ideals (an example of the ideals is the discussion in feudal Japan about the cultures views on death).

I feel like there was a lot of potential with Hank and Sara to continue that discussion about women in power. Yes, we have discussed this before. We do it a lot in second season with the JSA and even Jonah Hex but I think Hank had a lot of potential to add a dimension to that discussion. (honestly see next paragraph for more). That whole episode with the Minotaur i would have loved if they'd been a bit more explicit with that-- yes, obviously a woman can be in charge (in Hanks mind) but he has the right to walk in there and take over because her experience doesn't matter and also we will do whatever he wants. Sara spends almost the whole time just rolling her eyes and bitting her tongue besides a light quip in the beginning asking if a girls ever punched him. in the past Sara has literally exerted dominance over men so I was just kind of disappointed with that dynamic. I love the character of Sara as an "unconventional woman" or a "strange friend" and I've noticed comments like that pretty much stopped after the 3rd season. I know some people hated those comments but I think they can be good. I enjoyed them and would like to see them again because it's literally just Sara being unapologetically herself, a strong woman, doing whatever she does, no matter how weird or unconventional it is. (Which is an integral part of Saras character to me)

BUT its also not necessarily "new" issues. Issues don't go away in real life-- we had multiple issues about Race in America with Jax, from different points in history (Slavery and the 1950s). Jax even mentions how he still experiences Rascism today. The issues don't go away and just because they are mentioned once doesn't mean they can't (and shouldn't) be examined from other points in history. IE just because the show has talked about it before doesn't mean we can't talk about it again from a different angle and/or perspective.

I see a lot of potential with Astra with the racism thing (people are nicer to me in literal Hell) but it also would have been interesting with Mona, to show a different type of racism would have been INCREDIBLE.

I also can think of maybe a scene or two that would have just been a nice touch with Zari (either one, but I have a soft spot for Zari 1.0, and I think with her life as an illegal Muslim would have been an enriching perspective) as a Muslim. They are very good to her character in the way that she obviously abstains from Liquor and Pork, and observes Ramadan. But one thing that would have been interesting is for Zari to experience early 2000s (or honesty still right now) xenophobia. Especially Z1 since being a Muslim is Illegal in 2045 there was a lot of emotional potential there. (Although I feel like I can understand why the writers didn't want to touch that because of current conflicts).

Since we're going to outer space (that was actually confirmed right? Or was it just hinted and I misread??), I think issues will have to be character driven rather than time period driven. But therin we have a lot of potential-- a race of aliens without distinct genders (wait, so your worth can be dictated based off of your genitals?? Plus sexuality stuff there), aliens confused about race (I don't understand some of your skins are different colors... and your people treat each other differently based on this?). We could introduce a matriarchal society, which the crew with Captain Lance feel particularly unphased by. Perhaps we have a completely pacifist society or aliens made of inorganic materials (debates about what constitutes as alive, what lives are meaningful, etc.) You get the idea(I adore star trek so you can imagine my glee thinking about some of those scenarios).

I think for me, the hard shift to comedy was at the expense of some of my favorite aspects of the show and also things that set it apart. This Found Family is so rewarding because they are all so so different but those differences enrich each other. They become better people and feel at home without having to change who they fundamentally are. And they are whoever they want to be. I feel like now the show has simply had an incredibly jarring tone shift thats trying too hard to be a comedy. (This one is just an opinion but a joke among all the serious is always just a lot more funny to me. I find myself laughing more at one liners and random stuff in the early seasons. Now it feels like 'ok, what's the next ridiculous thing.')

I think... humanity is pretty dark. But humanity also rises above. This is why I adore the episode from post WW2 Japan and to me it personally really stands out from other episodes in s4/s5. The idea of creating and destroying, pain and sadness locked inside, terror and hatred for the beings you share the planet with. That pain creates monsters. Sometimes by accident. (Sara's pain turned her into the version of herself she called a monster.). And also about embracing your passions (Mick hiding his writing). In that episode, we still have jokes about Godzilla. Garima appears and its hilarious. But it's also an incredibly powerful narrative about pain and fear and shame and gives a perspective that the western audience wouldnt... necessarily think about (the actual consequences and what the bomb actually literally did.).

That darkness makes the light so much more meaningful. If everything becomes light... than why are we still fighting?

Sorry if this is jumbled, I'm on mobile so.

Also, sorry if this is a rant or whatever. I am very passionate about this topic and oh boy if I was on a computer and had the time I'd probably repondd with a link to a doc.

[antibadnik-a]

QUESTIONS ADDRESSED TO YOUR MUSE:

▌What is your name? “amy rose!”

▌What is your real name? “amy rose?”

▌Do you know why you were called that? “i don’t know.  now that i think about it, i’m not even sure if that’s the name my parents gave to me, or if the orphanage just named me.”

▌Are you single or taken? “i --- well, it’s...  single.  i’m single.”

▌Have any abilities or powers? "outside of the super strength i’ve spent years working on?  i’m pretty good at tarot readings, and can sorta...sense where my friends are!”

▌What’s your eye colour? "green --- a little cooler shade than sonic’s green.”

▌How about your hair colour?     "my quills are pink, like the rest of me!”

▌Have you any family members? "none by blood --- but cream and ava are like sisters to me!  not that i’ve been a very good sister to the latter ---”

▌Oh? What about pets? “none at present.”

▌That’s cool, I guess. Now tell me about something you don’t like. "eggman.  infinite.  sonic when he’s dismissive.  myself, sometimes.”

▌Do you have any hobbies/activities you like to do? "i bake and train.  i guess just baking, since training is sort of required.  oh, and my tarot cards, of course!”

▌Ever hurt anyone before? "not on purpose, but...yes.”

▌Ever killed anyone before? "i killed thousands during the war.  those failures are nobody’s fault but mine.”

▌What kind of animal are you? "hedgehog!”

▌Name some of your worst habits. "i put on masks so that i can be strong.  so that i don’t have to be a burden again.  and i take on too much responsibility and run myself into the ground.”

▌Do you look up to anyone at all? "...sonic.  he’s always been my hero.  he’s everything i wish i could be.  everything i will be --- even if it kills me.”

▌Gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual ?     "i go by bi and queer, though these days i only have eyes for sonic!”

▌Do you go to school? "not anymore.  wars to fight and all that.”

▌Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day? "yes!  sonic and i’s wedding is going to be beautiful, and we’ll have the sweetest kids --- !!”

▌Do you have any fanboys/fangirls? "yeah!  i made a lot during the war, and had some before that.  being friends with a hero will do that.”

▌What are you most afraid of? "failing everybody --- being weak or a burden.  and everyone leaving me because of it.  or worse --- they don’t leave and get hurt for me.  or that this world is gone, and we lost the war, and this is just...an illusion from the phantom ruby.  but that scares me for the same reason.  it means i failed.”

▌What do you usually wear? “pink or red, but i look cute in green, too!”

▌Do you love someone? "sonic!  but not just him --- all my friends!”

▌When was the last time you wet yourself? "not since i can remember, weirdo.”

▌What class are you? "middle class, i guess?”

▌How many friends do you have? "a lot, and i love them all!”

▌What are your thoughts on pie? "who doesn’t like pie?”

▌Favourite drink? "strawberry milkshakes!”

▌What’s your favourite place? "little planet --- oh, wait, no!  twinkle park!  i have memories there that might be a little scary, but good ones, too!”

▌Are you into someone~? "ah --- am i that obvious?”

▌Would you rather swim in the lake or in the ocean? "ocean!  it’s the perfect place for a date.”

▌What’s your type? “blue hedgehogs.  in all seriousness, though, someone who’s kind and brave.”

▌Camping or indoors? "i miss being indoors --- in actual houses, i mean.  not in a bunker or hiding out in the woods or in hq.”

Tagged by:  not a soul. Tagging:  ????

[lenalvthor]

Ayyyyy, so idk of this is the right blig, but if you wanted ideas for little mini fics relating to the hsau, I'd love to see how Sara and Ava's relationship was before the whole thing with Ava's coming out. Anyway, I love the fic and I hope you have a wonderful day!

hi!! 💛apologies for leaving this in my inbox for so long, this last week has been a ROLLERCOASTER but i promise you, i did see this and get very excited abt it and send it to rachel and we were both freaked out a bit abt getting prompts for the fic

so we have many, many ideas about pre-fic avalance in this au. like Many. many to the point that we don’t have the time to write an actual mini fic about it because the fic would be the furtherest thing from mini. also, bc it would be rlly weird to have to try and go back and write them before all of this, like we go back and read ‘don’t you like you’ and everything feels so strange bc we wrote it before we had this big detailed plan for everything that was gonna happen between them and it just feels crazy that they were in this place where they weren’t even friends let alone in love 

but what i am gonna do. is give you a fuckload of bullet headcanons instead. so i hope that suffices bc buckle up, there’s gonna be a few 🌈🌈

so ava and sara don’t go to the same elementary school. they’re both star city natives though so they kind of know of each other. sara did dance when she was little and was in layla’s dance class and ava was sometimes there when barbara came to pick her up etc etc. 

(ava’s school was a little nicer, was the fancier star city school that barbara teaches at. damien insisted nora went there bc of it’s good reputation and gary’s mom wanted the best possible start for her son, hence how the three of them ended up there and became friends) 

so by the time middle school comes around and they actually become a part of each other’s spheres, they know the other vaguely by name and the like 

in middle school, ava and sara meet and they don’t quite get along but they don’t rlly know each other so it’s not an issue - sara’s this reckless trouble maker that ava wants nothing to do with bc she wants to just do well and be liked and successful and normal while sara’s off getting into fights and sneaking out of school and never doing anything by the rules, so not interacting pretty much suits them both just fine

until in 8th grade, after spencer leaves to join the army and ava’s still trying to piece herself back together and he left around the time that she decides she was going to quit basketball after this season and she was scared she might be gay and starts vehemently ignoring any and all possibilities of that fact - that’s when sara lance comes out as bi

and sara doesn’t know why ava suddenly makes a point to argue with her more than usual, or call her out in her bullshit, or just be a general pain in the ass but she is, and what sara doesn’t realise is that ava’s angry that sara came out bc it put ava in a position where we had to actually confront herself abt her sexuality

sara has a quiet suspicion of why ava’s acting like this, and it would sort of make sense that ava would be gay (or bi, but sara thinks gay) but also she doesn’t wanna assume so she leaves it and just pushes ava’s buttons just as hard 

but it’s not all bad, bc the day nyssa and sara start dating, everyone at school is talking about it and ava knows her friends will be too and she’s terrified bc she doesn’t want to know if they think it’s weird, but kuasa just goes “whoa, no way” and lily whistles and says “damn, they’re probably the hottest couple at school” and gary doesn’t say anything but he’s got this look of curiosity and relief on his face and nora is looking at him carefully before she just glances over at sara and says “good for them” and ava doesn’t know if she wants to laugh or cry with relief

(and it’s still 2 and half years before she even tells nora - the first person she comes out to - but it’s a start at least) 

ava and sara get better for a bit in 8th grade, but then high school happens and suddenly they’re in the same homeroom and heaps of classes together and being partnered / grouped up for projects all the time and they both just get on each other’s nerves to no end

both of them are vying to be rip’s favourite in class and it makes ava furious and sara so smug because ava wanted to be the teachers pet bc she worked hard and did a load of extra curriculars and was always polite and on time and we’ll behaved, whereas rip just liked sara because she was entertaining and good at soccer and a little too cocky for her own good

and around this time, sara is slowly becoming friends with amaya and ray and jax and nate, is being less reckless and dangerous and unbearable as she was in middle school, starting to mellow a bit

but anyway; they’re at each other’s throats all of freshman year but their rivalry ends up being kind of fun bc arguing in class when it’s actually about school isn’t as frustrating for all the teachers and sara notices that ava actually makes her think, makes her feel smart, bc she can actually kind of keep up with the smartest girl in their entire grade, and ava meanwhile realises that sara is actually pretty smart, she’s actually kind of a genius and if she actually tried, she could probably give ava a run for her money and that both infuriates and pleasantly surprises ava 

but then early sophomore year, nyssa leaves. sara’s not at school for a few days and by the time she comes back, everyone Knows because it’s high school and nothing can stay secret for long, and everyone’s trying not to gossip bc sara’s slowly become quite popular around school but they can’t help it, they all wanna know what’s going on

and ava detests sara but she’s always admired her for coming out, for being so proud abt it and dating nyssa when there was like a grand total of 3 other lgbt people at school all of whom fit every single stereotype that ava wanted nothing to do with (and she’ll never admit it, but she had always felt kind of safe and comforted knowing nyssa and sara were dating bc it made her feel like she would be ok one day), so she can’t even imagine how sara feels especially if the rumours about why nyssa left are true 

sara’s heartbroken and angry and confused and she keeps pushing ava with jabs and mocking retorts and remarks that are lot harsher and more biting than usual but ava just smothers the urge to respond and rolls her eyes pointedly and ignores her bc she knows sara’s just lashing out

and at one point in gym, sara just drops her back and turns to face ava and demands “what the fuck is your problem sharpe?” and ava crosses her arms and goes “pretty sure you’re the once with the problem here, lance.” to that, sara glares and spits out “i’m not the one walking around with this fucking holier than thou attitude as if you’re better than me. can you at least argue back instead of rolling over like a doormat?” and ava literally wants to throw a dodgeball at her but she just holds her ground, doesn’t say anything, keeps sara’s gaze before biting her lip and looking away for the briefest of seconds. sara makes this smug huff of triumph, as though ava’s abt to fight back but ava just looks back at sara with an expression that’s too gentle, and says “i’m sorry about nyssa, sara.” and goes to join her dodgeball team

(amaya comes over to ask sara what it was about and sara can’t bring herself to answer, just shakes her head because she doesn’t quite know what just happened) 

things get better quickly, like. sara would never say it at the time but zari is this refreshing burst of fresh air who didn’t know nyssa the way all her other friends did and it’s so nice to have her around, even tho she’s still quite new. and then wally comes to star city and everything is fun and exciting w the legends and things aren’t perfect, definitely not bc oliver and laurel break up and sara and laurel have been fighting just usually like sisters do and dinahs been calling, on saras ass abt her slipping grades at school and sara just wants to piss them both off so she hooks up w oliver (and they’ve known each other for so long that they both feel guilty abt it and they try to make it a Thing bc they don’t want to admit that they both just used each other for different reasons)

it it’s sometime after that, after she and oliver collapsed under the very weak foundation their relationship was already built on, after laurel starts dating tommy, after amaya promises sara she’s not a bad person for what happened with oliver, it’s sometime then that ava makes that challenging retort abt sara even trying to get a better grade than her in french

and all sara can think of is laurel, the way laurel hadn’t been mad when she hooked up with oliver, the way laurel had just snuck into her room late at night and slipped under the covers and hugged sara close as sara broke down abt why their mom just didnt care abt all the good things sara was doing, the way laurel had softly murmured “you’re brilliant sara. you are, you’re so smart and so capable and if mom can’t see that, then she doesn’t deserve to.”

so sara does try. and she gets an a+. and the beam on laurel’s face when she sees it on sara’s desk, the pride on quentin’s when sara tells him - sara never looks back (and she also starts to look a bit more at ava, because maybe she’s not all horrible) 

gary comes out at the very end of sophomore year, sara goes over to give him a hug and she sees the expression on ava’s face - proud and protective and kind but also sort of hurt and definitely, definitely jealous, and sara suddenly remembers the way ava had acted towards her after sara had first come out and she remembers her vague, kind of unfounded assumption that maybe ava was gay, realises that ava’s never had a boyfriend, never said yes to any of the numerous attractive guys who have asked her out 

but also, sara’s known ava for like, 4 years by now and she knows what kind of family ava has and she feels this sudden ache in her chest bc ava must be in the most difficult position - sara doesn’t even know if ava is aware of it, so she doesn’t wanna say anything or offer support (also bc ava still grinds her gears to no end)

but she just keeps an eye out, checks ava’s facebook / instagram every once in a while to see if she’s posted anything abt it or added smth like a pride flag to her bio

and then on a sunday evening in october junior year, ava comes out on facebook. sara doesn’t see it first, in fact, she’s lying on the living room couch trying to not fall asleep reading her social studies text book when from the armchair, laurel lets out a quiet “huh” and both quentin and sara say “what?” at the same time and laurel goes “ava sharpe’s in your grade, right sara?” and sara nods and quentin’s like “is that the girl you did that chem assignment with earlier in the year?” and sara wrinkles her nose and goes “unfortunately. she’s a pain in my ass.” and laurel just hums and says “well, she just came out.”

sara almost falls off the couch, scrambling into a sitting position and snatching laurel’s phone and ignoring laurel’s protesting “hey!”

she reads the post through several times before she goes to comment and realises she’s on laurel’s phone, grabbing her own but then she hesitates, wanting to write something genuine but it feels too vulnerable so instead goes “ffs sharpe, on top of everything else, i now have to compete with you for hot girls too?”, but she opens messenger and goes “hey, just wanted to say congrats on coming out. i know it’s nowhere near easy to tell your family so like, hope that went okay. and i’m here if you wanna talk abt it at all.”

and the day after, as they’re clearing up microscopes and stuff in bio, ava quietly thanks her for her message and sara shrugs, goes “i get it.” and ava pauses before quietly admitting “you know i always admired you for being out. especially when we were so young back in middle school. i’d only just started thinking about it then and … i was a mess. seeing you being out and happy and just - the same person you’d always been … that helped more than you know.”

and it’s probably the most meaningful conversation they’ve ever had (or at least had in a Long time)

and 4 days later, ava shows up on sara’s doorstep after a fight with her mom at dinner and this entire fic began. 

also, for your own reading pleasure, some other random moments we thought of; 

sara only ever called ava ‘sharpe’ or ‘sharpie’ or any other variation of her name until they were both 15/16

ava used to roll her eyes every time sara got a a bad grade because she could be so much better if she tried, but she doesnt

sara nearly started a fight the first time she and ava had to work together on a project, and once they started it and it became clear they worked well together she was the Most Annoyed™️

back in middle school ava always scoffed and made some patronising comment every time she watched someone break up a fight sara had gotten into (except for the one time in the first few weeks of class when she had to stop sara throwing her second, or maybe third punch at a homophobic jerk in their class who’d cornered her on the way back from school - that time she shoved him away and watched him go before turning and cautiously asking if sara was okay, and sara glared at her and told her she’d had everything under control before storming off in the opposite direction)

there are probably many many headcanons for this part of the universe that we will think of but i hope this suffices for now, feel free to come yell about anything legends / fic related bc this was so much fun 💖💞

[tshollandlove]

Ava’s 1.5k Celebration!

while it may not seem like much to many, i am so thankful for achievement of 1,500 followers that i have reached. it may seem odd to do a celebration at a half point rather than when i would reach two thousand, but given that i don’t know when/if that will occur, i figured why not show some extra love now. 

now, to the celebration!

first of all, i’ll be holding a sleepover tonight! i’ll be doing whatever you want and answering whatever questions you want while i work on your celebration requests! the sleepover post will be made soon. [sleepover post]

send to my ask box a ✨+ 1 way i can improve my account (don’t worry about being rude to receive a blog rating and compliment!

send to my ask box a 💕+ a short description of yourself to receive a ship! specify whether holland boys&haz, mcu characters, or mcu actors.

send to my ask box a 🌸+ a piece of writing for a reblog and review! (don’t be afraid to submit your own work)

send to my ask box a 🎶+ music/artists you like to receive a personal playlist!

and finally the part of the celebration i am very excited for...

send to my ask box a 💫 for a personalized social media imagine! that means you can message me a personal photo, i will include your name rather than y/n, and you can request an edit for any mcu character, actor, or holland boy&haz. you can have it as personal as you wanting with your name and photo, or just name, or just photo, however you like.

you can request as many of these as you want! also, please participate in the sleepover! thank you to all that follow, i appreciate it so much and i hope you enjoy my account!

i also want to thank some amazing people that i would not be at this point without them.

@bi-writes: yeah, i wrote an entire post about her last night, but i will never be able to show this girl all the love that she deserves so i will just write more know. b, you have no idea how much your support and love means to me. you have been there for me with boys, douche racist girls (light skinned latinas unite), discovering a new part of my womanhood, and so much more. you have always been there for me and i know you will continue to do so, and for that i thank you.

@upsidedownparker: kath, girl, you are my southern sister that does the same as me, being passively aggressive via politeness to jerks, while also letting them know not be a jerk. you have always been one of my favorite writers, and i didn’t even know that you knew that i existed until you reblogged a part from piece by piece and reacted to it and i just felt so much love. from there a friendship formed and we have backed each other up with rude anons on both of our ends and you have just always shown love to me, and for that i thank you.

@my-meant-to-find-blog: BABE, you are like the best. you always liked my posts, kind of watching from afar and then the first time you ever messaged me was when you saw i was having a hard time with my anxiety and depression and you immediately swooped in to help. we bonded over how messed up we both are and over our love for pizza. i remember from one of the first times we talked you used a term that confused me so much so i had to look it up on urban dictionary. you english twit, i thought i was going crazy because i had never headr this phrase before. lol. you showed me love and compassion when i felt the whole world was against me, and you’ve continued to do that, and for that reason i thank you.

there are so many more people to thank, but if i wrote out a paragraph for every person that i appreciate, we would be here all day because i appreciate the support of each and everyone of my followers!

amazing followers and mutuals that i love: @infamous-webhead @arya-di-angelo @casualprincess77 @princess-chocolate-drop @zophora @hollanderheart @s-p-i-d-e-y-c-h-e-l-l-e @hollandroos @spiderlingss @spideykisses @petersparkers @thewiseandfree @starksparker @ibtomholland @spideykisses @lilyholland @beansparker @anavengerstale @princeofsassgard @farrahsficrec @superflashallen @pho105 @cap-steve-rogers 

[kierantwo]

The world through their eyes - Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Archer

-Space, Lexicandra galaxy

“Come on you stupid thing!” Archer exclaimed angrily as he shuffled around in the cockpit of the small ship he was trying to pilot. His hands were clenched tightly on the control stick infront of him, despite space travel being a somewhat easy exam to pass, Archer still managed to fail everytime… something Ava held over him for quite a long time.

It wasn’t the same, Archer was angry at that. They were inseparable, Ava and Archer. Two peas in a pod you could say. Though that sinking feeling was still there, even after all the time that had passed. He remembers the screams of delight and cheer around them as they were chosen to be the next King and Queen of their planet. The thought made Archer want to throw up, too much responsibility. He was only 15, next year he would be crowned King. Ava? The Queen.

He loved Ava, like a sister, but not in that way. He, didn’t ever like girls in that way… He was unsure how he really felt about anyone. Archer went looking for Ava after she went missing a week ago, it was as if no one really cared where she went, after the whole planet labeled their future Queen as ‘One of them’.

Archer stole a ship, sped off out the atmosphere, and right into the path of a fucking black hole. This hadn’t been a very successful search.

Archer began to panic, he was told to keep calm in a crisis but that was out of the window, As well as half the ship’s food supplies for that matter. He was swearing in his mind as his hands mashed on the controls. “No! No! You stupid ship!” He screamed, desperatley trying to gain control of the small space craft. The black hole had grown closer since he last looked up, the fabric of space warped around the black ball. Archers heart began to beat faster and faster. He kept asking himself if he was going to die, but that’s when it caught his eye.

A feature in many ships, an emergency function ‘Dimension Jumper’. Keyword being emergency here, “Surely being the threat destroyed by a black hole is classed as an emergency?” Archer thought to himself. He decided it was his best option and began to frantically pry the annoying little cover off his escape.

Sirens from the back of the ship were growing louder and alarms on the glass windscreen were blaring the obvious, they seemed to do that a lot. It was getting hot, stuffy and claustrophobic in the small cockpit. He quickly mashed his finger onto the glowing button and the sirens stopped. The warnings stopped. Everything stopped.

“Uh…” Archer murmured. “What th-” He was cut off by the sudden blinding overwhelming screaming and scorching light infront of him. White noise surrounded him like an old earth TV he saw in the library once. Then, silence. Nothing but silence swam through his senses… He wasn’t sure where he was. Did it work? Was he dead? Oh god am I dead? He asked himself.

As if his life was a TV show it began playing again and he regained his senses. Archer couldn’t believe his eyes… it never looked like this, a beautiful ball of cloudy blues and greens. Swirling and swarming around the planet infront of him. They had looked so flat and dull on the history books sepia pages. Small speckles of light twinkled like the stars surrounding him on the planets surface. A blurred ball of white was far into the corner of the planets left side. “It can’t be…” He gasped in awe. 'Gravity lock disengaged’ the ship’s polite voice spoke. “Well that’s not good.” Archer murmured, fiddling with some switches above his head. “Ava said to loop this one through the green, and this one into the blue?” He asked himself. He did as he thought and the ship groaned in anger. “Shit.” It violently jerked into life and fire began to splutter from the coughing engines. “Shit.” Sparks exploded from the console as the ship began to forcefully bombard itself through the earth’s smoky atmosphere. “Shit.” His ship scratched and burnt as it catapulted down towards the UK.

- United Kingdom, Earth “No. What the hell are you on about?” Connor asked, propping himself up by resting his short legs on his desk. “Come on, you have to tell me Connor, everyone bloody knows already.” The girl on the other side of his laptop screen scoffed. “No I don’t. Why should I have to tell you anything Alice” Connor snapped. “You know what, leave me alone. It’s none of your business who I’m attracted too” He suddenly snapped. Alice quickly tried to regain conversation when He took his feet off his desk and disconnected the Skype call between him and Alice.

“Why does she even have to know, it’s not like It matters to anyone.” Connor sighed to himself. He got up off his black swirly desk chair and flopped onto his bed. Connor was what you would call a boffin or a goody two shoes. His parents didn’t have to control him becuase he was in control of himself.

Connor was disiplined, smart and neat and a little bit gay. I say a little bit gay but I mean a lot. No one really knew yet, well fully anyway. They all just assumed he was bi after the incident. The incident had been one of the main things Connor Grashvile had tried to forget, no matter how many times his 'friends’ had reminded him.

Connor had a crush on a boy in his art class, His name was Harry. Harry had tanned brown skin and cute chocolate hair. A little button nose and hazel eyes. Connor was obsessed with him, completley in awe of this nerdy cute boy sat next to him.

The incident involved, Connor, Harry and a boy name Peter. The sky was cloudy and wind was soaring through the creamy fluff floating above. Connor’s art teacher was stood by the window twiddling a pencil as her students were drawing, painting etc.

Connor and Harry were both working on their sixth form final pieces. This involved a lot of reaching and grabbing, mostly for paint and water. Their table was a cluttered mess. Splats of expressionate paint decorated the light grey table. “Can you pass the yellow paint” Harry asked, childishly trying to grab it over Connor’s work. “Yeah, sure” Connor happily agreed. As Connor’s cold hands wrapped around the yellow acrylic paint bottle, the boy named Peter sat across from them suddenly yelled out “THE LID ISN’T ON”

This sudden exclamation had startled Connor and the spilled yellow paint, had not only covered Connor’s face but also drenched Harry’s face somehow. Harry looked at Connor in sheer embarresment as the class began to laugh. “Sorry” Connor mouthed. Harry smirked, Connor’s heart fluttered. He tried not to make it obvious.

“Oh dear that is a problem” The art teacher sighed, glaring at the two boys with a cocked eyebrow. “Go clean yourselves up” She chuckled pointing to the sink with her chewed pencil.

This is where things had gotten awkward, Connor was asked by Harry to clean his nose with a scratchy paper towel dripping with water. Connor being the clumsy git he was, moved forward to get closer and tripped over his own feet falling face first into Harry. Their lips meeting. The class watched in awe and some awkwardness as they shared a moment. Yellow paint squelched between their lips… They pulled away and things had become extremely awkward, almost unbearably awkward.

This memory had made Connor cringe as he laid tired in his bed. He hated that it happened… but he also didn’t. If anything, that incident made him sure of his sexuality. He didn’t want to think about that right now, he had enough problems going on. Family, friends, the horrible looming knowledge he will die one day. You know, the normal things closeted teenagers had going on.

Connor had his whole evening planned out, it basically consisted of stuffing his face full of food and crying while watching gay TV shows he held dear to his heart. He was however, unaware of what was planned for him. His clock ticked and tocked as night grew old. He binge watched episode after episode, managing to finish a season in a night.

Connor began to hear a rumbling, grumbling. He thought he was simply hallucinating. Maybe from all the stress or his lack of sleep lately? This was however no hallucination.

“What now?” He mumbled as he sat up and rolled off his bed. He began to hear roaring fire as he scrambled to his feet. “What the?” He quietly asked himself. Poking his head out of the window, he saw something that made him think it was all a dream. A turquoise, ocean blue fireball was speeding down from the inky sky. He was fixated on the deadly ball. Connor began to feel the temperature change as the cold autumn night air warped into a summers day sweat he remembered from last year. The fireball fizzled out and a shining black oval spun harshly through the air and smashed onto the ground, causing mud to splatter on the swing set near the crash site.

“Oh my god” He gasped. In a matter of seconds, Connor was downstairs with shoes on and out the door. A coat hugging Connor’s thin frame. The air was a mishmash of cold and hot, swirling and shifting as he drew closer to the smoking pod that had rudely smashed into his back garden.

Timidly he shuffled up to it, scared it would pop open and something or someone would jump out and kill him… then again, would that really be a bad thing? Connor thought hard about this as he stood infront of the pod. The windscreen on the front was as black as the sky, it still looked intact however. The whole ship looked imacualte, now that Connor had looked properly.

The door suddenly slid open and a boy laid inside, Archer. He coughed pathetically. “Ow…” “Hello?” “OW.” “You okay?” “Yes infact, Ow is a term of happiness where I come from”

Connor raised an eyebrow. Who was he talking to?

“Do you need some help” “Mentally? Physically? Specify please” Connor couldn’t help but laugh at this. “All of the above?” “Oh. Then yes” Connor gasped as he saw the injuries the boy had endured. He had a scar on his cheek. Blood seeping from his tanned skin. He reached out a hand and the boy took it. Connor began to pull hard and the boy flopped out of the pod.He spread out into the cold mud and wriggled a bit like a fish.

“Name’s Archer” He sighed, almost in relief. “Mines Connor.” “That’s a nice name.” “So is yours” “Do you want to tell me why you’ve crashed into my backgarden?” “Long story” “Oh.” “I can tell you though” “Well?” “I’m an Alien, or as earth society will see me as… Wait. I’m on earth aren’t I…?” He asked in anticipation. “Yeah?” Archer squealed. As if his wounds were healed by pure joy he got up with glee. “I’m on earth!” He exclaimed in happiness. “Why are you so happy? Earth is shit” “You’re more accepting” “Your planet isn’t?” “Don’t make me laugh Connor” Connor sighed, he supposed he had to let this weird giddy boy in. “Do you want like a drink or something to eat?” Connor awkwardly asked. “I’d like that” “Good” They made their way into Connor’s kitchen. Archer sat down on the table, fascinated at the wooden chairs and surface. “This was a tree once?” He asked, in disbelief. “Yeah. Now it’s not, same as paper actually” “We have paper where I come from” “Really?” Connor asked in utter sarcasm “Is that sarcasm?” “No” He replied, with more sarcasm. “Oh” “Of Course it is.” “Ah.” Connor sat down across from Archer and slid a glass of water towards him.

Archer had tanned skin, dirty blonde hair and green eyes. Where his cheeks should blush, a galaxy presented itself. It was transparent in nature but was beautiful to stare at. Something Connor didn’t realise he was doing until Archer awkwardly laughed.

“Have I got something on my face?” Connor stammered, “N-No” “You’re a bit bloody but that’s it” He added. Archer licked his finger and winced as he ran it across the fresh wound. “There we go, better?” “Yeah” Connor replied. “Why are you here?” He blurted out “You invited me in” “On Earth I mean.” “I came looking for someone. She’s a good friend of mine, ran away. I don’t even know if she’s on earth.” “I hardly doubt she’s on the moon” “Her ship landed in this part of the planet and it’s important I find her Connor” “Is she even alive?” “Well you’re fucking cheery aren’t you. Fucking hell” “Do you speak English all the time? Do you have your own language? Why do you look human?” “Do you ask people questions all the time? It’s annoying.” Connor slumped in his chair. “My race descended from yours actually. That’s why I look human and speak like one too.” “Oh. Are you sure that’s how it works?”“ He mumbled “Yes Connor I’m sure I understand my ancestory.” “Wait, so if you descended from my race does that mean you traveled in time to get here?” “…Yeah? Maybe? I’m not sure. Probably not” “Oh, right”

Archer had noticed some cute things about Connor, things that made Archers heart begin to swoon. This worried him. The way Connor’s mud eyes glinted in the light, and the way his hands wrapped around themselves when he became uncomfortable… “I need to go” Archer sighed. “No, you’re on an entirely different planet, it’s night time and you’ve got no fucking clue what you’re doing. My parents won’t mind… hopefully.” “You sure?” “Fuck it. Why not let an Alien sleep in my room.” Archer didn’t want to speak too much about Ava or his royalty, he dabbled slightly in the subject but not enough for Connor to guess anything. Archer felt something when he saw Connor. Surely not but he felt… love?

[fitnetpro]

Thankful for a good week #1 and pumped for week #2-

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Sun, 2012/08/26 – 1:21pm — BuffMother

HI!! I am very pleased with how week #1 went…I didn’t exactly stick to my POA but it was a good start.  I got my starting stats and pictures done too, which showed me that I have made some very nice progress in the past 4 weeks.  I wasn’t “seeeing” the progress in my mirror, but the inches and pictures showed good progress.  It’s amazing how much more belief I have in my workouts after seeing those results– I’m so much more fired up now for the 10 week contest!!

  Here is my week #1 in review- Monday:Chest/Tris/Ran intervals outside Tuesday:Leg workout Wednesday:off- felt a bit icky from allergies– a headache Thursday:Back/Sh/Biceps and intervals on tredmill- took starting stats and pics Friday:chest/tris/abs– didn’t do intervals Saturday: off but was very active- farm work Sunday: cleaned garage- no workout How many weight workouts did I complete:4 How many intervals training sessions did I complete:2 How many days of the week did I workout: 4

Who did I encourage this week? I encouraged a bunch of people online and also my DH, he’s going to have me be his trainer for a bit!I

  MY POA for week #__2_________- date:____8-27-12_

Monday:Legs – BUTT!! Tuesday:Back, sh, bi, run intervals Wednesday:Chest, intervals Th- Sat: REPEAT Mon- Wed Sunday: OFF What is my main goal this week with my workouts? to buff hard, sticking to POA! What is my main goal this week in my diet? EAT fruits and veggies and my protein – NO BREAD!

Well, it’s actually been raining here today– but now it’s clearing off, so I’m off to go enjoy the cool beautiful day.

Have a great Sunday!!

-Michelle

  P.S. don’t forget about OUR CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK~

SSS Week #2 Mini Challenge- Eliminate Bread

Are you wondering what is considered bread?? Honestly I want you to choose your own definition but in general terms~ NO BREAD simply means what YOU feel NO BREAD means, lol!

Here’s more info: http://ift.tt/2kn9MzX

Have fun with the CHALLENGE…a Challenge is supposed to be CHALLENGING!!Am I really that OLD?

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Mon, 2012/08/27 – 12:29pm — BuffMother

Am I really old enough to be married for 19 years?  I guess so, lol! Let me recount my anniversary’s by the years: We got married August 28th, 1993…just 3 months after I graduated HS and turned 18– I was young, but Travis was wise to get me before I went off to the WORLD, lol!!

1994- I was just 19 and transfered to a different college after a successful freshman year of Track.  Travis was in College also– almost finished, but we were SO POOR!

1995- I  had spent the summer in a walking boot due to a stress fracture in my left tiba; around the time of our anniversary I won the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Fargo, ND title and we won a trip to Hawaii in Nov

1996- It was my Senior year in college…I had been training hard all summer in prep for cross country, but then one day I coudn’t run without extreme knee pain– My track career was over

1997- I was done with college courses, but we still lived in Fargo, I worked at a gym and hooters– kinda in limbo– We visited UTAH and SNOWBIRD around our anniversary for Travis’ best friend’s wedding.  IT was a blast!

1998- We had moved to Dallas and I was working for a home builder selling homes and being the “activities director” there- Dallas was fun!!

1999- I had given birth to Gunner Berger and we were getting ready to move back to MN

2000- We lived in Fargo, ND again…I was SCARED at the prospect of having to deal with another winter in the NORTH

2001- We had moved to AR and I was pregnant with Gracie Berger

2002- We were almost ready to move into our “FIRST HOUSE” and I was pregnant with the TWINS!

2003- I had just got a van and a gym membership the month before.  I was looking into finding a SCARY GOAL.

2004- I had competed in and won several NPC contests that spring/summer– I was training clients at the gym and fired up about sharing my passion with others

2005- BuffMother.com was well underway and I remember “business planning” at Outback on our anniversary http://ift.tt/2BIS3am

2006- We got to spend the night in a hotel, “kidless!” and I was prepping for my last NPC figure contest (Nationals in Sept)

2007- I was totally in love with MMA fighting and my poor DH was sick on our special day- http://ift.tt/2kjRhfP

2008- Travis and I were hard at work on making our “BuffMother” infomercial a reality http://ift.tt/2BG6tIu

2009- We went golfing for our Anniversary date- http://ift.tt/2kjRijT

2010- Travis had just started a new posisiton with Infusion Brands- and we celebrated our anniversary a bit late with a trip to VEGAS (I “trained with AVA”)

2011- WE celebrated with a trip to Cancun Mexico and we also celbrated the start of a new season in our life — owning a country home

2012- we are “HOME”…we love the peace of having that finally HOME feeling– Travis almost went to TAMPA this week but the Tropical Storm allowed him to stay home!!

Then, for our 20th  anniversary our plan is to take a trip to Germany!! We’ve been wanting to go there for years!!

It was fun to recount the years– they certainly do go by FAST!!  I am very thankful to have such a wonderful man to share each of my years with…God has blessed me for sure!!

In Love,

Michelle

Good times!

Thu, 2012/08/30 – 9:20am — BuffMother

Hey everybody!! I’ve been having some really GOOD times this week~ Tuesday was our 19th anniversary, so we basically HUNG OUT as much as possible.  It was a fun time with my MAN!! We ate together, bought stuff together (one item was our “gift”- a mulcher), built a fire together (the burn ban just got lifted, yay!!) and hunted together + PLUS Other activities too!!

Then yesterday I had to get rollin’ early for my tennis lesson.  I’ve never had one before and had no idea what to expect.  The tennis pro is a son of a family friend– he was super nice, very informative, and easy to work with…. it was really good! I learned alot already and my body responded nicely to the activity. I was a little worried that my shoulder would get aggravated, but it’s hanging tough.  After the lesson I stopped by to see my nieces- they live right above the courts.  Tuesday was one of their birthdays and so I brought them a gift since I had “missed” the other one’s b-day early this year.  Anyhow- it was great to see them!

Then I ran  few more errands, got to have a quick lunch with DH and then on my way home I hit the gym for a “quickie” upper body lifting workout:

Seated rows Lat Pulls Tricep Push downs Shoulder press Straight arm press downs (with cable machine- hits the rear delts/lats a bit)

I didn’t have much time since I had to get home and prep to GO again- Gracie has guitar lessons on Wednesday nights and I also needed to get shopping done–

Needless to say, I’ve had very little computer time over the past 2 days.  It feel like I’ve been missing out on everyone’s progress during week #2 of our contest!  I expect you are KICKIN’ tail and getting your workouts and eats done.  Don’t foget that there are tons of resources in our Rally ROOM Super STAR Success book— http://ift.tt/2kkqxMn AND  on my blog http://ift.tt/2klCOjy and YOU TUBE http://www.youtube.com/buffmother

My plan for today is to hit my weight room for a chest workout and get in some good “outside” time with a run before it RAINS tomorrow from the hurricane.  Travis and I also want to get some more fields planted before it rains– we’ve already planted 3 food plots for the deer– a couple more would be good to get done ASAP!

OKAY, I’m off to interact with you all!!

Love,

Michelle

P.S. here’s the Latest From My Blog

SSS week 02: Coaching

SSS week 02: Coaching You’ve had a GREAT start to the week!! fun to see many of your…

READ MORE..

SSS Week 02: Beginner Lower Body Buffing workout (Video)

SSS Week 02: Beginner Lower Body Buffing workout (Video) LEGS- Beginner Buffing workout (from…

READ MORE..

SSS week 02- Michelle’s DETAILED workout POA

SSS week 02- Michelle’s DETAILED workout POA Phase 2Buffing Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday…

READ MORE..

SSS Week 02: Mini-Challenge NO BREAD

SSS Week #2 Mini Challenge- Eliminate Bread Eliminate BREAD from your diet this week…notice…

READ MORE..

SSS Starting Stuff

#3-Starting Thoughts: Where are you in your journey? I’m in a transition…I’ve…

READ MORE..

published first on http://ift.tt/2kRppy7

[nelliwenigrxr]

Thankful for a good week #1 and pumped for week #2-

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Track

Sun, 2012/08/26 – 1:21pm — BuffMother

HI!! I am very pleased with how week #1 went…I didn’t exactly stick to my POA but it was a good start.  I got my starting stats and pictures done too, which showed me that I have made some very nice progress in the past 4 weeks.  I wasn’t “seeeing” the progress in my mirror, but the inches and pictures showed good progress.  It’s amazing how much more belief I have in my workouts after seeing those results– I’m so much more fired up now for the 10 week contest!!

  Here is my week #1 in review- Monday:Chest/Tris/Ran intervals outside Tuesday:Leg workout Wednesday:off- felt a bit icky from allergies– a headache Thursday:Back/Sh/Biceps and intervals on tredmill- took starting stats and pics Friday:chest/tris/abs– didn’t do intervals Saturday: off but was very active- farm work Sunday: cleaned garage- no workout How many weight workouts did I complete:4 How many intervals training sessions did I complete:2 How many days of the week did I workout: 4

Who did I encourage this week? I encouraged a bunch of people online and also my DH, he’s going to have me be his trainer for a bit!I

  MY POA for week #__2_________- date:____8-27-12_

Monday:Legs – BUTT!! Tuesday:Back, sh, bi, run intervals Wednesday:Chest, intervals Th- Sat: REPEAT Mon- Wed Sunday: OFF What is my main goal this week with my workouts? to buff hard, sticking to POA! What is my main goal this week in my diet? EAT fruits and veggies and my protein – NO BREAD!

Well, it’s actually been raining here today– but now it’s clearing off, so I’m off to go enjoy the cool beautiful day.

Have a great Sunday!!

-Michelle

  P.S. don’t forget about OUR CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK~

SSS Week #2 Mini Challenge- Eliminate Bread

Are you wondering what is considered bread?? Honestly I want you to choose your own definition but in general terms~ NO BREAD simply means what YOU feel NO BREAD means, lol!

Here’s more info: http://ift.tt/2kn9MzX

Have fun with the CHALLENGE…a Challenge is supposed to be CHALLENGING!!Am I really that OLD?

View

Edit

Outline

Track

Mon, 2012/08/27 – 12:29pm — BuffMother

Am I really old enough to be married for 19 years?  I guess so, lol! Let me recount my anniversary’s by the years: We got married August 28th, 1993…just 3 months after I graduated HS and turned 18– I was young, but Travis was wise to get me before I went off to the WORLD, lol!!

1994- I was just 19 and transfered to a different college after a successful freshman year of Track.  Travis was in College also– almost finished, but we were SO POOR!

1995- I  had spent the summer in a walking boot due to a stress fracture in my left tiba; around the time of our anniversary I won the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Fargo, ND title and we won a trip to Hawaii in Nov

1996- It was my Senior year in college…I had been training hard all summer in prep for cross country, but then one day I coudn’t run without extreme knee pain– My track career was over

1997- I was done with college courses, but we still lived in Fargo, I worked at a gym and hooters– kinda in limbo– We visited UTAH and SNOWBIRD around our anniversary for Travis’ best friend’s wedding.  IT was a blast!

1998- We had moved to Dallas and I was working for a home builder selling homes and being the “activities director” there- Dallas was fun!!

1999- I had given birth to Gunner Berger and we were getting ready to move back to MN

2000- We lived in Fargo, ND again…I was SCARED at the prospect of having to deal with another winter in the NORTH

2001- We had moved to AR and I was pregnant with Gracie Berger

2002- We were almost ready to move into our “FIRST HOUSE” and I was pregnant with the TWINS!

2003- I had just got a van and a gym membership the month before.  I was looking into finding a SCARY GOAL.

2004- I had competed in and won several NPC contests that spring/summer– I was training clients at the gym and fired up about sharing my passion with others

2005- BuffMother.com was well underway and I remember “business planning” at Outback on our anniversary http://ift.tt/2BIS3am

2006- We got to spend the night in a hotel, “kidless!” and I was prepping for my last NPC figure contest (Nationals in Sept)

2007- I was totally in love with MMA fighting and my poor DH was sick on our special day- http://ift.tt/2kjRhfP

2008- Travis and I were hard at work on making our “BuffMother” infomercial a reality http://ift.tt/2BG6tIu

2009- We went golfing for our Anniversary date- http://ift.tt/2kjRijT

2010- Travis had just started a new posisiton with Infusion Brands- and we celebrated our anniversary a bit late with a trip to VEGAS (I “trained with AVA”)

2011- WE celebrated with a trip to Cancun Mexico and we also celbrated the start of a new season in our life — owning a country home

2012- we are “HOME”…we love the peace of having that finally HOME feeling– Travis almost went to TAMPA this week but the Tropical Storm allowed him to stay home!!

Then, for our 20th  anniversary our plan is to take a trip to Germany!! We’ve been wanting to go there for years!!

It was fun to recount the years– they certainly do go by FAST!!  I am very thankful to have such a wonderful man to share each of my years with…God has blessed me for sure!!

In Love,

Michelle

Good times!

Thu, 2012/08/30 – 9:20am — BuffMother

Hey everybody!! I’ve been having some really GOOD times this week~ Tuesday was our 19th anniversary, so we basically HUNG OUT as much as possible.  It was a fun time with my MAN!! We ate together, bought stuff together (one item was our “gift”- a mulcher), built a fire together (the burn ban just got lifted, yay!!) and hunted together + PLUS Other activities too!!

Then yesterday I had to get rollin’ early for my tennis lesson.  I’ve never had one before and had no idea what to expect.  The tennis pro is a son of a family friend– he was super nice, very informative, and easy to work with…. it was really good! I learned alot already and my body responded nicely to the activity. I was a little worried that my shoulder would get aggravated, but it’s hanging tough.  After the lesson I stopped by to see my nieces- they live right above the courts.  Tuesday was one of their birthdays and so I brought them a gift since I had “missed” the other one’s b-day early this year.  Anyhow- it was great to see them!

Then I ran  few more errands, got to have a quick lunch with DH and then on my way home I hit the gym for a “quickie” upper body lifting workout:

Seated rows Lat Pulls Tricep Push downs Shoulder press Straight arm press downs (with cable machine- hits the rear delts/lats a bit)

I didn’t have much time since I had to get home and prep to GO again- Gracie has guitar lessons on Wednesday nights and I also needed to get shopping done–

Needless to say, I’ve had very little computer time over the past 2 days.  It feel like I’ve been missing out on everyone’s progress during week #2 of our contest!  I expect you are KICKIN’ tail and getting your workouts and eats done.  Don’t foget that there are tons of resources in our Rally ROOM Super STAR Success book— http://ift.tt/2kkqxMn AND  on my blog http://ift.tt/2klCOjy and YOU TUBE http://www.youtube.com/buffmother

My plan for today is to hit my weight room for a chest workout and get in some good “outside” time with a run before it RAINS tomorrow from the hurricane.  Travis and I also want to get some more fields planted before it rains– we’ve already planted 3 food plots for the deer– a couple more would be good to get done ASAP!

OKAY, I’m off to interact with you all!!

Love,

Michelle

P.S. here’s the Latest From My Blog

SSS week 02: Coaching

SSS week 02: Coaching You’ve had a GREAT start to the week!! fun to see many of your…

READ MORE..

SSS Week 02: Beginner Lower Body Buffing workout (Video)

SSS Week 02: Beginner Lower Body Buffing workout (Video) LEGS- Beginner Buffing workout (from…

READ MORE..

SSS week 02- Michelle’s DETAILED workout POA

SSS week 02- Michelle’s DETAILED workout POA Phase 2Buffing Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday…

READ MORE..

SSS Week 02: Mini-Challenge NO BREAD

SSS Week #2 Mini Challenge- Eliminate Bread Eliminate BREAD from your diet this week…notice…

READ MORE..

SSS Starting Stuff

#3-Starting Thoughts: Where are you in your journey? I’m in a transition…I’ve…

READ MORE..

published first on http://ift.tt/2jYy0ej

[fitnetpro]

Thankful for a good week #1 and pumped for week #2-

View

Edit

Outline

Track

Sun, 2012/08/26 – 1:21pm — BuffMother

HI!! I am very pleased with how week #1 went…I didn’t exactly stick to my POA but it was a good start.  I got my starting stats and pictures done too, which showed me that I have made some very nice progress in the past 4 weeks.  I wasn’t “seeeing” the progress in my mirror, but the inches and pictures showed good progress.  It’s amazing how much more belief I have in my workouts after seeing those results– I’m so much more fired up now for the 10 week contest!!

  Here is my week #1 in review- Monday:Chest/Tris/Ran intervals outside Tuesday:Leg workout Wednesday:off- felt a bit icky from allergies– a headache Thursday:Back/Sh/Biceps and intervals on tredmill- took starting stats and pics Friday:chest/tris/abs– didn’t do intervals Saturday: off but was very active- farm work Sunday: cleaned garage- no workout How many weight workouts did I complete:4 How many intervals training sessions did I complete:2 How many days of the week did I workout: 4

Who did I encourage this week? I encouraged a bunch of people online and also my DH, he’s going to have me be his trainer for a bit!I

  MY POA for week #__2_________- date:____8-27-12_

Monday:Legs – BUTT!! Tuesday:Back, sh, bi, run intervals Wednesday:Chest, intervals Th- Sat: REPEAT Mon- Wed Sunday: OFF What is my main goal this week with my workouts? to buff hard, sticking to POA! What is my main goal this week in my diet? EAT fruits and veggies and my protein – NO BREAD!

Well, it’s actually been raining here today– but now it’s clearing off, so I’m off to go enjoy the cool beautiful day.

Have a great Sunday!!

-Michelle

  P.S. don’t forget about OUR CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK~

SSS Week #2 Mini Challenge- Eliminate Bread

Are you wondering what is considered bread?? Honestly I want you to choose your own definition but in general terms~ NO BREAD simply means what YOU feel NO BREAD means, lol!

Here’s more info: http://ift.tt/2kn9MzX

Have fun with the CHALLENGE…a Challenge is supposed to be CHALLENGING!!Am I really that OLD?

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Mon, 2012/08/27 – 12:29pm — BuffMother

Am I really old enough to be married for 19 years?  I guess so, lol! Let me recount my anniversary’s by the years: We got married August 28th, 1993…just 3 months after I graduated HS and turned 18– I was young, but Travis was wise to get me before I went off to the WORLD, lol!!

1994- I was just 19 and transfered to a different college after a successful freshman year of Track.  Travis was in College also– almost finished, but we were SO POOR!

1995- I  had spent the summer in a walking boot due to a stress fracture in my left tiba; around the time of our anniversary I won the Miss Hawaiian Tropic Fargo, ND title and we won a trip to Hawaii in Nov

1996- It was my Senior year in college…I had been training hard all summer in prep for cross country, but then one day I coudn’t run without extreme knee pain– My track career was over

1997- I was done with college courses, but we still lived in Fargo, I worked at a gym and hooters– kinda in limbo– We visited UTAH and SNOWBIRD around our anniversary for Travis’ best friend’s wedding.  IT was a blast!

1998- We had moved to Dallas and I was working for a home builder selling homes and being the “activities director” there- Dallas was fun!!

1999- I had given birth to Gunner Berger and we were getting ready to move back to MN

2000- We lived in Fargo, ND again…I was SCARED at the prospect of having to deal with another winter in the NORTH

2001- We had moved to AR and I was pregnant with Gracie Berger

2002- We were almost ready to move into our “FIRST HOUSE” and I was pregnant with the TWINS!

2003- I had just got a van and a gym membership the month before.  I was looking into finding a SCARY GOAL.

2004- I had competed in and won several NPC contests that spring/summer– I was training clients at the gym and fired up about sharing my passion with others

2005- BuffMother.com was well underway and I remember “business planning” at Outback on our anniversary http://ift.tt/2BIS3am

2006- We got to spend the night in a hotel, “kidless!” and I was prepping for my last NPC figure contest (Nationals in Sept)

2007- I was totally in love with MMA fighting and my poor DH was sick on our special day- http://ift.tt/2kjRhfP

2008- Travis and I were hard at work on making our “BuffMother” infomercial a reality http://ift.tt/2BG6tIu

2009- We went golfing for our Anniversary date- http://ift.tt/2kjRijT

2010- Travis had just started a new posisiton with Infusion Brands- and we celebrated our anniversary a bit late with a trip to VEGAS (I “trained with AVA”)

2011- WE celebrated with a trip to Cancun Mexico and we also celbrated the start of a new season in our life — owning a country home

2012- we are “HOME”…we love the peace of having that finally HOME feeling– Travis almost went to TAMPA this week but the Tropical Storm allowed him to stay home!!

Then, for our 20th  anniversary our plan is to take a trip to Germany!! We’ve been wanting to go there for years!!

It was fun to recount the years– they certainly do go by FAST!!  I am very thankful to have such a wonderful man to share each of my years with…God has blessed me for sure!!

In Love,

Michelle

Good times!

Thu, 2012/08/30 – 9:20am — BuffMother

Hey everybody!! I’ve been having some really GOOD times this week~ Tuesday was our 19th anniversary, so we basically HUNG OUT as much as possible.  It was a fun time with my MAN!! We ate together, bought stuff together (one item was our “gift”- a mulcher), built a fire together (the burn ban just got lifted, yay!!) and hunted together + PLUS Other activities too!!

Then yesterday I had to get rollin’ early for my tennis lesson.  I’ve never had one before and had no idea what to expect.  The tennis pro is a son of a family friend– he was super nice, very informative, and easy to work with…. it was really good! I learned alot already and my body responded nicely to the activity. I was a little worried that my shoulder would get aggravated, but it’s hanging tough.  After the lesson I stopped by to see my nieces- they live right above the courts.  Tuesday was one of their birthdays and so I brought them a gift since I had “missed” the other one’s b-day early this year.  Anyhow- it was great to see them!

Then I ran  few more errands, got to have a quick lunch with DH and then on my way home I hit the gym for a “quickie” upper body lifting workout:

Seated rows Lat Pulls Tricep Push downs Shoulder press Straight arm press downs (with cable machine- hits the rear delts/lats a bit)

I didn’t have much time since I had to get home and prep to GO again- Gracie has guitar lessons on Wednesday nights and I also needed to get shopping done–

Needless to say, I’ve had very little computer time over the past 2 days.  It feel like I’ve been missing out on everyone’s progress during week #2 of our contest!  I expect you are KICKIN’ tail and getting your workouts and eats done.  Don’t foget that there are tons of resources in our Rally ROOM Super STAR Success book— http://ift.tt/2kkqxMn AND  on my blog http://ift.tt/2klCOjy and YOU TUBE http://www.youtube.com/buffmother

My plan for today is to hit my weight room for a chest workout and get in some good “outside” time with a run before it RAINS tomorrow from the hurricane.  Travis and I also want to get some more fields planted before it rains– we’ve already planted 3 food plots for the deer– a couple more would be good to get done ASAP!

OKAY, I’m off to interact with you all!!

Love,

Michelle

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