#everyone ignore how this amnesia is probably wildly innacurate

[sematarygirls]

                                                  part one here .ᐟ

⊹ᡣ𐭩₊⋆ ─── wounds that bind

Your eyelids fluttered open easily, no longer feeling as if they were weighed down by a ton of lead. You found yourself staring up at a white, tiled ceiling, the fluorescent lights ahead almost as blinding as the sun had been when you last opened your eyes. Your brain still felt fuzzy, maybe even fuzzier than it had before.

You registered the sharp scent of alcohol and a steady beeping that sounded like it was practically in your brain, rattling the organ around with each piercing screech that echoed out. Your brows furrowed, a small groan falling from your lips as you felt a dull ache in your abdomen.

Warmth. You felt something warm in your palm. It took you a moment in your delirium, which you could only assume was the result of the pain drugs they'd shot (unfortunate word choice) you up with, to realize that it was another person's hand wrapped around yours tightly, as if the person was afraid you'd disappear if they let go.

You rolled your head to the side, the situation reminiscent of the way you'd woken up on the ground with a gunshot wound and a very scrambled brain. At least the universe had the decency to let you keep your memory this time—well, the little memory you had when you'd passed out in the ambulance.

Your eyes fell on a hunched over figure, his broad shoulders slumped with worry and defeat. It was Rafe. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, his eyes red and puffy, and his hair disheveled. He was still wearing the blood-stained shirt that he was wearing before. You didn't know how long you'd been out, but however long it was, he hadn't left your side, and it showed.

Your eyes narrowed on him. You had a realization before the blood loss had pulled you from the land of the living. You were looking into Rafe's glassy blue eyes, flooded with guilt and fear when a face flashed briefly across your field of vision—the face of the man who shot you. Rafe wasn't the one that shot you. You knew this to be true, but if that was the case, why had his face reminded you of the man who did?

Even now, staring at his anguished features, there was an unsettling familiarity about him that sent a chill down your spine. Something about him was giving you flashbacks to the moment that gun went off. You could practically hear the bang followed by the intense ringing as your body hit the ground harshly.

Why was he a trigger if he wasn't involved in some way?

As if sensing your intense stare, he picked his head up, his red-rimmed eyes meeting your gaze. You couldn't help but notice how pretty he looked, even when crying. The gloss over his blue eyes, the way his long lashes caught his tears, his furrowed brow, his lower lip trembling as he pouted—it was all the effortless picture of perfect.

"Oh, thank god, you're awake." He let out a shaky breath, bringing your entwined hands to his mouth and kissing your knuckles softly. His body relaxed slightly, but the tension in his shoulders remained.

You didn't say anything, simply stared at him calculatingly as your eyes roamed every inch of his face. You were willing the figure from before to reappear in your memory, to make itself known, so you weren't stuck in the dark. You felt helpless being so utterly confused, and it was infuriating.

His gaze searched yours desperately, as if he could see the gears turning in your head. You knew he could tell that you were trying to remember, and by the way he seemed to squirm under your gaze, his grip on your hand tightening ever so slightly, you could tell he was afraid of whatever there was to find.

"I was shot," you croaked out, your throat dry and voice raspy from disuse. The statement came out harsh, accusing. Obviously, you'd been shot, but it was the only thing on your mind right now.

You hadn't yet fully unlocked the part of your brain that loved Rafe and would've all but jumped into his arms at the sight of him after nearly dying. You also hadn't yet fully grasped that you almost died, the whole thing still seeming like you were stuck in a dream-like haze.

Who? Who shot you? It was the only thing you could focus on. It was the only thing you cared about. Maybe because you wanted some sort of penance for what happened, maybe because you wanted to feel in control or at peace by knowing who did this to you, or maybe, it was just morbid curiosity plain and simple.

Either which way you spun it, tried to justify your misplaced priorities—not even fear creeping itself into the jumbled mess of thoughts bouncing around your head—you needed to know what happened and why you had the nagging feeling that Rafe was apart of it.

His jaw clenched at your accusatory tone, something flickering in his eyes—fear, maybe?—before it was gone instantly, masked with concern. He swallowed hard, your eyes tracking the movement of his adam's apple before darting back up to meet his intense stare.

And suddenly, it was like you were violently pulled back into the moment, the scene playing before you, a memory extracted from the depths of your foggy brain simply by the look in his eyes.

A familiar voice called your name. When you turned, you felt your heart sink to your stomach as you found yourself staring down the barrel of a gun. The moment seemed to play in slow motion. Rafe was yelling—at you, at the assailant; he was frantic. You couldn't focus on anything but the metal catching the sunlight and glinting ominously, taunting you to your fate.

A bang. A scream. Your back hit the ground. Your eyes closed briefly, and when they opened again, that was when Rafe was over you, the pogues crowding around in a panic as they watched you bleed out.

The moment played at an odd pace—slow but fast, lasting an instant while somehow, simultaneously, lasting an eternity. You felt like you only had more questions than answers after that.

Why were you shot? What were you doing? Where were you friends during all this?

"You were there," you said, your eyes widening as you met his gaze again. He was there with the man who shot you. He showed up with him, led him to you. He was protecting his father, clearly having hoped you wouldn't remember at the first sign of your amnesia.

"No, baby, you're confused," he tried to lie, but his face said it all. You didn't have all the pieces, but you had enough to know that he had let his dad flee the scene, intending to cover for him. You had to wonder whether he even truly cared if you lived, or if he was only keeping you alive so his dad didn't catch a murder charge. "The doctors say you have a form of amnesia people sometimes get when they go through something traumatic. And-and they think you might've hit your head when you fell, so you don't-"

"Don't lie to me," you said harshly cutting him off, pulling your hand away from him and wincing at the pain that the sudden movement caused. "Ward." You glared at him, watching his features contort in guilt and fear as you uttered his father's name. "Your dad shot me."

It all made sense now. Rafe's face triggered your memory before because he looked like his dad. Those features you'd traced and committed to memory were the very same ones that he shared with the man that tried to kill you.

Would you ever be able to forget that? Even if you somehow forgave Rafe for whatever part he played in this, would you ever be able to look at him and not flash back to the patriarch of the Cameron family pointing a gun at you?

"Listen, I-I can explain," Rafe stammered, looking like a deer caught in headlights. He was scrambling for words, for an excuse, anything that could justify the fact that his own father shot you, and he did nothing to stop it. "Please, just..."

"Why?" You demanded, not caring for whatever justification he was going to pull out of his ass.

Your treasure hunting dream—which was, in fact, not a dream as you'd come to learn. The gold that you and your friends were looking for had to have been the reason that he shot you, but you were still fuzzy on the details.

What exactly were you doing out there, and what had made Ward pull the trigger?

Rafe's eyes darted around the room, avoiding yours as he struggled to come up with an explanation that wouldn't make him look like a heartless monster. "You and your friends... you were getting close to something. Something my father has been searching for for a long time."

"Did you know he was going to kill one of us out there?" You asked pointedly. You found it hard to believe that he had come with his father to stop you all from finding the treasure and not known that Ward had a gun he was planning to use

"I... I didn't know he would go that far," Rafe said, his voice cracking slightly. It was a flimsy excuse, and you both knew it. He had to have had some inkling of what his father was capable of. There was no way that he was as innocent in this as he was pretending to be.

"Get out," you demanded suddenly, a mixture of emotions flooding through you, anger and hurt chief amongst them. The whole situation was making your head hurt. You needed to think, needed to remember more, and you needed to do it alone.

Staring into his eyes and seeing the look of anguish within them was when the memories of you both together had chosen that inopportune moment to surface, your entire relationship flashing through your mind. Your head started to spin at the rush of recollections, none of them the things that you really wanted to remember.

You wanted to know what exactly you were looking for with your friends and how close you'd come to finding it. You wanted to know what exactly had led up to Ward firing a bullet into you. You wanted to know the extent of Rafe's involvement in all of this.

What you didn't want to know of at this particular moment in time was first kisses, first dates, first i love you's. You didn't want to be reminded that the man before you was someone you knew intimately and loved with every fiber of your being.

Your heart began to ache as you looked at him, eyes glazing over with tears at the feeling of heartbreak and betrayal that was practically coursing through your veins. You wished you could go back to forgetting him, to not knowing the feeling of his body fitting perfectly against yours and the sweet words he was capable of whispering.

"I'm sorry," Rafe choked out, his voice thick with regret. "I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted you to get hurt. You have to believe that." He reached out a hand towards you, but stopped short of actually touching you, knowing that you would likely recoil from his touch.

"I said get out!" You practically screamed at him, your own emotions overwhelming you. He didn't know what it was like to feel a stranger in his own mind, and then, to find out that the one person that he could remember—the one person that had managed to break through the protective wall his brain had built around itself—was part of the reason that this was all happening in the first place.

You could practically see his heart shattering at your words and the force behind them. For a moment, you felt a pang of guilt, but you quickly pushed it away.

He wanted to hug you and shake you all at the same time, to urge you to listen to him—not that he had a very compelling story to tell. You couldn't do this. After everything you two had been through, everything he'd done for you. You couldn't let it end like this. But, he knew he couldn't get you to see reason now, not when you were so fragile.

All he wanted to do was protect you. That's all he ever wanted to do, and the urge was stronger now more than ever. It killed him to walk away, but that's what you wanted. You wanted him gone, and you wouldn't let him strong arm you into getting his way, not this time.

You watched him go, a sob painfully racking your body as soon as the door clicked shut. You flinched at the sound of Rafe letting out a frustrated yell in the hallway followed by a crash, and as you sat there, crying alone and feeling empty, you couldn't help but wonder:

How did you end up here?

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