#everyone asleep post spn edit

[sosaysdean]

brother

[tragedynatural]

Hey I know you posted it like a month ago but I would love a detailed song-by song reasoning/annotations for your Sam/jake mix. If you have time it would be great to hear your thoughts!

anon i've never jumped so hard at the chance to explain my totally normal thought process in depth before. thank you! yes of course! i will try to be as brief as possible! but probably not!

the first caveat i have to give you is that this mix was based mostly on a concept where cold oak lasts for ~2 weeks. so there's time for complicated relationships and despair to set in and a lot of this won't match the like..two days? it takes in the show. also this tracklist might be different from the post. i was editing.

we must be killers (mikky ekko) - "children of the wild ones" - references demon blood and my loose interpretation of what it might feel like to have these burgeoning powers, and then the "killer" refrain is because imo a key part of boyking4boyking is about how they both Know one of them is going to die, probably by the other's hand. also i'm compelled by similarities i see between jake and sam and both have spent their adult lives (hunting, military) being trained to kill. and i think neither of them want to do that, and in this situation they're forced to consider killing their peers..oof. thinking about jake's face when he has to kill ava, thinking about how sam and jake have been in situations where they've needed to kill someone in order to ensure the safety of someone else (in the logic of spn universe's approach to hunting & military)

like real people do (hozier) - this is abt that sense of knowing i was talking about. in the 2 week cold oak au jake and sam both find out from azazel early on how things are supposed to go. and they spend a week not killing each other! but they don't know each other very well and each fears that the other will snap first. "i will not ask why you were creeping / in some sad way i already know" - a sense of like, scorpion-and-frog anticipation that the other's going to turn on you but wanting to prolong the peace before it happens. also this dynamic is a product of a horrible time for them, they know that they probably won't both make it out - the "kiss like real people do" refrain is about an idle wish of like, what would it have been like if we were normal?

damn these vampires (the mountain goats) - i just like this song i think. this was rlly about the atmosphere, capturing the sense of being changed against your will that jake is reckoning with for the first time and sam is still struggling with. also, you know, there's a little bit of a defiant feel to this song. "scream when captured... let this whole town hear your knuckles crack." at this point they think maybe they can refuse to play along with azazel, and that it might be possible to get out anyway.

our time is short (gang of youths) - look, you know, rn they've been here for a ~week? they're not sure if they're ever making it out. the other kids died in the first couple days so it's just jake and sam and i think they're going through 'last 2 people on earth' feelings at warp speed. this is .... a moment of feeling good b/c they know it won't last very long, and there's a bit of last hurrah energy. "so let's drink the best wine now..before lightning strikes us down" etc.

another place (bastille) - the jake/sam connection is a genuine feeling but it's also very much....a foxhole thing to quote bobby. they like each other genuinely but both are aware this is the result of an extraordinary situation. even if they were both getting out alive...they live completely different lives. this song is about, don't make this more than it is because even though maybe we'd both want it to be, it's not attainable.

heavy in your arms (florence + the machine) - "who is the betrayer? / who's the killer in the crowd?" is absolutely my concept for the 2 week cold oak. sam and jake being plagued by dreams from yellow-eyes, and they don't want to suspect or betray the other but. well. they'll be stuck here forever. this is both of them wondering who'll crack first. also "heavy in your arms" is a little foreshadowing for when jake stabs sam and holds him while he bleeds out. thanks!

as the world caves in (matt maltese) - look. they're going to nuke each other up boys till old satan stands impressed...on their final night alive it's YOUUU that i lie with.... this is last few days of peace before Inevitable Conflict as the tension hits a peak. it's about "i like you and i care for you and i know eventually one of us is going to kill the other but i can't be the person to pick up the knife first. so every night i sleep across the fire from you and hope you fall asleep before i do." and azazel is there.

no one would riot for less (bright eyes) - "everything is eclipsed / by the shape of destiny" - the fact that the lives of the special children have been counting down to this moment! their hopes, dreams, personal morals, affections for others are eclipsed by fate baby! inescapable! the whole "little soldier" section is again about how both of them have been made into weapons to fight for various causes, and now they're being. pitted against each other. "love me now / hell is coming" and "help me out / hell is coming / could you do it now / hell is here" is obviously about them knowing shit is going to go down soon and also this sense of like. just kill me if you're going to. don't prolong the inevitable.

have to explode (the mountain goats) - similar theme here, feeling like you're counting down to the inevitable - "the stage is set / someone's going to do something someone else will regret" sam and jake are pieces in a plan that's been in motion for years and everyone's just waiting for them to buckle down and play the role. "the fuse will have to run out sometime / something here will eventually have to explode" - dean only finds sam once sam's been stabbed and jake has 'won'. if no victor emerges they stay here until one does, and they know that they can't hold out forever.

tusk (fleetwood mac) - i put this on every playlist sorry about me! also it's, okay, jake wakes up in the night to see sam stuck in a nightmare and he knows the demon's visiting both of them. what's it saying to him, he thinks, what's sam going to do? this is about creeping dread, and this sense that the person you're with maybe knows something you don't. that they're planning to betray you, that they already have. and musically the frantic melody and vocalization just ups the tension.

bite the hand (boygenius) - jake's pov. sam is the one who pushes for a truce and holding out for another option out of cold oak, and jake is on board. at first. but as time kicks on he realizes that there's no other option whereas sam is still a little bit in denial. so the "i can't love you how you want me to / i'll bite the hand that feeds me / you want what i can't give to you / who do you think you are / who do you think i am / maybe i'm afraid of you" - is about him doing a heel turn where he realizes like, i can't do this (stay indefinitely here to find a dubiously-real other way out for a guy i just met) and sam can't do it either, and one of us is going to snap, and i'm afraid it'll be sam first.

i bet on losing dogs (mitski) - sam's perspective on ^ - he does know how it's going to end but he can't quite. give up on hoping that it won't. he doesn't kill jake when he has the chance. he must know jake'll kill him if he's not dead or knocked unconscious, but he hopes. that he won't. anyway. and he's wrong. he knows he'll be wrong, i think he can sense that jake is doing a heel turn but also, they're getting played by azazel who's planting seeds of doubt and they're stuck in this depressing place alone, and sam's not sure how much he can trust himself. he's betting on losing dogs.

samson (regina spektor) - "you are my sweetest downfall / i loved you first" - jake's pov on a guy he genuinely likes who he knows he's going to kill. before the fight & the cemetery they cared for each other. "we couldn't bring the columns down / we couldn't destroy a single one" - in the end trying to hold out against azazel does nothing, the gate opens, the apocalypse happens. it's futile. and the story never mentions jake or cold oak again - i think the fact that sam tried to like, help & protect the special kids & then had to watch andy, ava, and lily die, & then jake tried to kill him, & he had to kill jake is like. pretty fucked up. those are the last people like him on this earth man he was 23!

heaven or hell (digital daggers) - vibes! also: "i’ve got the same deep wounds as you / my love can double as a weapon too" - jake and sam's similarities are so key to me. either one of them could have been the person to turn first. i'm anti-trying to make jake into a bad guy for stabbing sam! he wanted to go home! "show me the side no one else sees / turn it back on me" - what's it like for sam to be around other special kids? does he feel more normal or less than he does with dean? thinking about that "it doesn't matter if we believe it only matters that they do" scene- SO interesting! what a cool moment of jake and sam connecting on a level of both being leaders, both knowing what a lose-lose situation looks like, both knowing how to keep the hope alive, and do what has to be done. of course this is also the trait that leads to jake killing sam / sam killing jake. they're the same.

old college try (the mountain goats) - this is specifically like, night before jake stabs sam. he knows he's going to kill sam by now. "i want to say i'm sorry for stuff i haven't done yet / things will shortly get completely out of hand" - jake thinking about this last like, goodbye. and "i will walk down to the end with you / if you will come all the way down with me" - seeing it through till the end, sam has a burgeoning sense of something wrong.

it seemed the better way (leonard cohen)- again i literally just put this one on everything i can. also you know, it's jake thinking about listening to azazel and killing sam. it seemed like the better way then, but now, when azazel's threatened his family and he realizes he can't get out of it, it's too late to go back in time and do it differently. he has to obey azazel + play along. "i better hold my tongue / i better take my place / lift this glass of blood / try to say the grace". yes i know this is about religion i'm not trying to make light of the song i just think. i'm squinting okay.

don't let me be misunderstood (nina simone) - LISTEN! JAKE'S INTENTIONS ARE GOOD. this is like, meeting in the cemetery and sam is alive and they both know what's passed between them and what can never be and where it has to go now, and jake's thinking "just remember that i'm not evil. just remember i have a family that i wanted to come back to like you, don't let where this went eclipse the fact that you cared about me, that you know i'm a good person." it's also me holding a large stick and pointing it at everyone in supernatural so that they remember that he did nothing wrong.

say goodbye (fleetwood mac) - okay bear with me. in my version. of cold oak jake doesn't get killed by sam. he kills azazel and sam and dean let him go. this is a retrospective on the whole thing for both of them. "i let you slip away / there was nothing I could do / that was so long ago, yeah / still I often think of you" and "so don't let it get you down / just a time within a time / just a scheme within a scheme / a little world within a world / yes, a dream, just a dream" are the thesis lyrics for this song. cold oak's done, azazel's nuked, back to the real world now. it's a bitter way to say goodbye to a person you cared about after they killed you/you killed them, even though you both sort of. expected it to go that direction. by this point i was just like IT FEELS RIGHT (adds to playlist).

[lifblogs]

Fic Back Friday

Make a post recommending a fic you love from at least a year ago. Dust off the archives, dig through your AO3 history and share those old fics with newer fans who might not have seen them - and the fans who’ve been around forever and might want to revisit an old fave.

Reblog art, edits, and gifsets from seasons past. Dig out those hold headcanon and meta posts and bring them back. What were the popular fan theories? What was everyone writing fic about 2 years ago? Five? Go comment on an old fanvid that got you right in the feels. Queue up that OTP playlist and break out the tissues.

These are all from the SPN Dark Fic Bang, but they’re just so good.

• Polaris

Aside from being a stripper, Castiel’s life is fairly boring, and full of routine. But when he’s rescued from a traumatic situation by an unfairly attractive stranger, everything he’s used to is suddenly turned upside down, not all for the better. His would-be rescuer has secrets, but perhaps even more shockingly, Castiel does too. What will happen when they all come spilling out?

• Few Things Hard To Kill

After Dean gets turned into a vampire, he goes home to say goodbye to Lisa. But things go awry: his newfound bloodlust takes over, his fangs sink into Lisa’s neck. He drinks until his love dies in his arms.

Fully transformed and plagued by guilt, Dean looks for repentance in death.

But his desperation isn't enough—for what he's done, he doesn't get the easy way out.

• You and Your Twisted Desire

(Setting: 13x22 “Exodus”) Dean Winchester tags along with Charlie and Ketch on their rescue mission. They’re ambushed and captured, taken to an unknown location for interrogation. There Dean comes face to face with the dark, apocalypse world’s Castiel, a twisted version of his angel friend who tortures him for information. But this Castiel is more than just an evil sidekick. Dean finds there is more to him than meets the eye. As the angel grows more and more curious about him and his relationship with his Castiel, his dark, twisted desire for love and companionship is forced upon Dean. He must find a way to escape this dark romance but to do so he must learn about this Cas and his murky past, all the while struggling with his own feelings for his angel back home.

• Whitechapel

Chaos reigns in the streets DI Winchester has sworn to protect. A series of murders have arisen out of the poverty and desperation of the East End slums, and it is his task to hunt the man responsible.

His brother Samuel, a notable psychiatrist at Bedlam Hospital, and Castiel, the precinct’s surgeon, are always at his side to lend a hand. Between Dean’s altruism, Castiel’s cleverness, and Sam’s attention to detail, they’re certain they can catch the killer at large.

But each man has his own twisting darkness within him. Tension rises quickly as they spiral out of control and the body count continues to rise. No one can be truly certain that each man is innocent, nor whom they can trust.

• Glass Houses

During the summer of 1975, a string of young men keep turning up dead in the city of Lawrence, Kansas. All within walking distance from one another. All frequenters of the same local nightclub. All appearing peacefully asleep in their beds save for the brutal marks of strangulation encircling their throats. It seems to be the work of a man the local news stations are calling the ‘Sleepytime Strangler’ – a nickname Castiel loathes – but the body count is up to eight with no signs of being caught.

Castiel begins to feel like it’s all just a little too easy.

Out one night at his usual hunting ground, he finds the challenge he’s been searching for in a attractive stranger named Dean, but before he can make his move, Dean’s gone and someone else has to take his place. Over the coming weeks, he can’t stop thinking about him: about the one that got away. And as it happens, the man from across the bar is relatively easy to hunt down, but what he doesn’t account for are the feelings he begins to develop for him or the fact that Dean Winchester has secrets of his own.

• Time for a Lesson

Ever since Dean’s transformation into a knight of Hell, Sam has been following the trail of mangled bodies left in his brother’s wake. His goal is to save Dean, but blind in his pursuit, he fails to see the trap set for him. He discovers that not only has his brother found a new, sinister purpose, he’s also found a partner in Abaddon. As their prisoner, Sam struggles to survive and remain a good man, while Dean attempts to twist and mold him into a servant of Hell. Of course, Sam expects to be tortured, but the lengths that his captors will go to in order to break him is only comparable to the absurdity of what they want from him.

Note: This is canon divergent after season nine.

[almaasi]

reaction post typed while watching SPN 14x15 “Peace of Mind”

CAS!!!!! CAS CAS CAS IS THE BESTEST CAS CAS CAS CAS

03:24pm

ALL RIGHT I’M READY

I ACTUALLY SLEPT LAST NIGHT SO I’M NOT CURRENTLY DYING. only, like 40% woozy and 90% drained of energy

LOOKING FORWARD TO SOMETHING WHOLESOME

another steve yockey episode?? screenplay by someone called meghan fitzmartin. sweet

-

all i know about this episode is from a tumblr post that said “cas”, “funny” and “brother in law bonding”, and an instagram post with sam looking like a shady art auctioneer who sells endangered animals on the side

-

03:32

k, got my bean salad, got my magnesium chloride footbath, i am as ready as can be

-

03:33pm

i really hope they name the snake ‘cause i’m posting a fic tomorrow with the snake mentioned and i don’t have a name

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03:35

“scooby doo matinee”

ehehe

-

03:36

digging the 1950s thing

...but not actually the 1950s?

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03:37

“.....duuude??? do you.. need help?????”

griffin is the hero of this story and must be protected at all costs

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03:39

ah the snake is a boy snek?

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03:41

cas: “i thought you were going to sleep until the cows dragged you home”

dean: “thshsa notdhfsdg n”

 i fucking love everything about this

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03:47

i still love cas’ car

i hope nothing bad ever happens to it

and i hope we see dean taking care of it the way he takes care of baby, and/or showing cas how to do it

-

03:49

the little 1950s town

reminds me of pee-wee herman tbh

also dear god now i want to write a fic where there’s a town like this except dean and cas are undercover as a gay couple and everyone’s freaking out about it because being queer is ~accepted~ in modern times but it goes against the ~historical aesthetic~ of the town and dean and cas are “faking” except accidentally change the minds of everyone through the legitimacy of their love

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03:54

cas: “saturday evening post... i look at them sometimes after you fall asleep at night”

/googles that

ooh

also..............if i didn’t ship destiel so damn hard that would be such a perfect sastiel line

“they’re very soothing”

;~; cas and his soothing, stimmy things

i love him i love him i love him

-

03:58

oh maaaaan i love sam and cas but WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE TO HAVE DEAN AND CAS ON A DATE IN A MILK SHOP

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03:59

oh the milkshake probably turns people kooky and sam’s gonna turn but cas didn’t drink the milkshake so he’s gonna be fine

edit: damn i got got.  but also yeah cas was fine

-

04:01

did cas say “like a ripe melon ON the sun”?

yes he did

but why

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04:03

i like that this town seems pretty diverse despite the general view we see nowadays of the 1950s

-

04:04

the way dean shrugs and say “i like bacon”

is so nauseatingly cute

i wanna cry and squish him 

-

04:05

I KNEW HE HAD MICE SOMEWHERE

in my fic the snake makes friends with the mouse jack tries to feed him (the fic is a 14.5k dean/cas smut fic called Measure of Thigh Love and will be posted here tomorrow)

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04:07

lady: “morals. gotta have morals”

*eyes cas”

“you know”

whAT DOES IT MEAN

does he look like a good boy, an upstanding pillar of the community, definitely not a perpetually confused hot mess in love with a freckly bisexual trashbag

-

04:08

the fact cas so calmly and blankly reads the pornographic letters talking about the guys dick

i just

does anyone even understand how much i love him

every fucking thing he does or says makes me love him more

-

04:12

ANGEL FOOD CAKE & DEVILS’ FOOD CAKE

YEEEEEEEEAH OkaY DEAN

i literally just posted a fic where he eats angel food cake

AND DEAN WILLINGLY BOUGHT CAKE

BISEXUAL DEAN /  DESTIEL ALERT

also?? feeding a snake angel food cake? 10/10 good omens vibe

but also god no THE SNAKE DOESN’T EAT THAT but i love the journey they’re going on to find out what the snake eats

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04:16

the fact dean panicked that jack was choosing the devil’s cake over the angel one

um

maybe he just liked chocolate

BUT ALSO

PROOF THAT CAKE ALWAYS REPRESENTS SOMETHING

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04:18

the house lady has an mp3 player / headphones?? maybe she’s the centre of all this

edit: maybe they had pink headphones in the 1950s ????

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04:19

bird poop all down cas’ car aww

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04:21

like

i know everyone’s dying and it’s clearly terrible

but also i find the vibe of this town very calming

the clock ding-donging in the background especially, when cas visits mrs smith

also her apron is pretty

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04:22

cas: “the tall man.......... hair? he has beautiful hair?”

that’s fucking c u t e

if dean heard that he would complain for 6 hours straight and not let it go, ever, and he’d say it’s because he doesn’t like sam’s hair but it’s secretly because he’s jealous, both of sam’s hair and also that cas thinks it’s beautiful

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04:26

the “hey you’re a woman make me a drink/dinner” thing is highkey irking me though

unsure if that’s the town or just sam

then again he was clearly under the influence the first time he asked for coffee too

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04:28

cas: “you will snap the hell out of it!!!”

sam: *flinches* “sir, you watch your mouth”

omg

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04:30

haitch eee double hockey sticks

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04:34

clearly jack does still have some soul because he cares about the snake

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04:36

when the light gets his eyes like that he doubles in prettiness

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04:44pm

THAT PARALLEL TO WHEN CAIN!DEAN DIDN’T STAB CAS

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04:46

cas: “GOD HAS A BEARD”

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04:49

cas: “yeah, i told him about the cardigan”

10/10 shoutout to the fact dean and cas talk off screen

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04:51

“i’ll help you”

oh no is he gonna kill the snake

oh no oh no

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04:52

oh maaaaaaaaaaan i dunno how i feel about that ending

and thus i don’t know how to feel about any of this

i loved the slowness and the softness of this

and i LOVED seeing so much of cas

but after the ending all my emotions just got steamrollered

i loved that the girl saved the day by overthrowing her abusive father but also not killing him and also giving him a nice ending, so to speak

i love that there was some representation in here even though i never caught anyone’s name besides sam’s “JUSTIN SMITH” and griffin

dean and cas seem to talk in the kitchen a lot which is nice !!!

i dunno i’m just sad about the snake... jack did the right thing maybe? but also i’m bummed out about it

sooo much snake/angel/cake symbolism <3

i’m looking forward to reading metas and stuff about this episode, especially about how the sam+cas stuff is actually dean/cas stuff in disguise, because frankly it kind of looked like it even though i could’t say how at this point i time

i FREAKING LOVE SEEING SAM AND CAS WORK TOGETHER THOUGH. SO MUCH. can only imagine how hard it was for misha and jared to film this though. especially the scene where cas reads the pornographic letters, and when jared is lying on top of misha

cas casually reading porn is the best

cas bringing sam out of hypnotism by relating to him about lost armies was probably my favourite part though

i mean, excluding the bits where dean and cas talk because dfjsdjgfd i love them i can’t help it

10/10 i guess? i can’t think about anything to complain about :P was a pretty good, solid, all-rounder, yay

[deadhaven]

Rules: list twenty beliefs or practices, whether moral, personal, fandom, etc that your followers should know about you, then tag ten people.

i was tagged by @jujubiest. i’m normally really bad about doing these, but her list was super interesting and it got me thinking of my own stuff pretty immediately lol jk @jujubiest tagged me in this ten million years ago and i started it then forgot about it until just now my excuse is that i was dicking around in another universe and im sticking to it

the rest is under a cut bc a) it’s fucking long, and b) im pretty sure y’all don’t want my crazy all up on your dash, so

practice (general): i hug my cat. often. lucky for me, i’ve been doing this since she was a baby and she doesn’t seem to mind at all 

belief (crazybrains): im still half convinced that im not legitimately human 

belief (crazybrains): without going into a lot of detail: scrupulosity! i have it in spades and it makes me believe weird things

practice (as an addendum to #3): i collect ... idk, protection? like i have a metal bat by my bed and a few knives and i carry a first aid kit in my bag. (but also more metaphysical shit like rosaries and salt and brick dust etc etc. it’s weird bc i don’t consider myself particularly religious when i sit down and try to reason it out. it just makes me feel better) (tbh this is probably why spn appealed to me in the first place i mean yeah sure the chars who don’t completely suck are either dead or sam winchester but by golly that home grown relentless paranoia is #relateable)

practice (addendum to #4): tbh the above is nothing new; i used to booby trap my room as a kid because monsters

belief (crazybrains): i barricade my closet because, again, monsters

practice (general): im not particularly fond of kids, but i make it a point to smile and wave at any baby/toddler i make eye contact with in public 

practice (general/creative): i started writing bc i had to tell myself stories to get myself to fall asleep at night

practice (social): kind of terrible but i save all of my discourse energy for facebook, bc honestly we complain about tumblr but any disagreements i would have on here would largely be over nuance. people on my fb (90% blood relatives btw) need to be yelled at a lot (A LOT) more than u guys do lemme tell u

practice (social): i read everyone’s tags on everything. it doesn’t even have to be my post, i just want to know what yall think about shit

practice (emotional): i bake when im upset. (i also sing when i cook.  sometimes actual songs, usually nonsense humming)

practice (general): i’ve been known to moonbathe (feel free to make fun of my Addams Family ass)

practice (social/emotional): i actually really enjoy listening to people vent and helping people with issues they might have. like, it’s not something i would ever consider “fun”, but that kind of emotional labor (when it isn’t taken for granted or demanded, i suppose) lets me feel useful

practice (? sort of??): i occasionally go for days without speaking and im perfectly content with that

practice (general): i will work on a project for as long as i can without stopping bc i know that if i don’t finish it in one sitting i’ll probably not finish it at all

not really a practice or a belief, just a fun fact: i really hate sunlight. i tell people it’s bc it gives me headaches (which is also true i guess) but honestly it just makes my skin crawl

another fun fact: maybe it’s bc i’ve lived in a flat marsh my entire life, but good lord do i love visiting the mountains. like, there’s always this sense of homecoming, especially when i get to tennessee (which kind of sucks bc the land might be lovely but everything else in tennessee is fucking terrible) 

belief (crazybrains, but nice as opposed to lowkey terrifying): im pretty sure celestial bodies (stars, moons, planets, nebulae, even black holes and comets) are sentient? like, probably (definitely) not in the way humans are, but idk. it’s a big universe, and maybe im just desperate to believe that humans aren’t as good as it gets, intelligence-wise

belief (addendum to #18): oh, and the multiverse is totally a Thing

practice (holiday edition): for the better half of the last decade, i have named every thanksgiving turkey and christmas ham my family has cooked. paul, john, tim, brandon, etc. they all get named. (though lol i tend to name inanimate objects anyway. my current car is josephine (the one before that was ruby, and my first one was clive), and my (currently bricked) phone is (was?) icarus).

not tagging anyone bc i am super lazy. pls feel free to make a list if yall want to do it; honestly id be super curious about it, but i don’t want to make anyone feel obligated lol.