#everyday it's goddamn challenge

[miumiumanzo]

some vintage illustration studies but make it bureaucracy

[how-gross]

12:25am — January 11th, 2024

Trying to think up how to explain to my counselor how anxiety-inducing and positively draining my winter break was to the point where I could barely focus on my college essay without mentioning how much I want to kill myself.

[drewsbraziliangf]

nothing to say when heaven falls | Drew Starkey x black!reader

summary: what can you do when the person that’s supposed to understand and be on your side chooses to doubt your fears?

Word count: 1388

a/n: not edited, we die like soldiers!!!!! pls let me know if you wish to be added to my taglist

"How can't you see how disrespectful this is to me, Drew?" You ask with a strained voice and teary eyes. "Everywhere you go she's looming like a shadow."

"She's my friend, what do you want me to do?" Exasperated, he asks.

"I don't know. Maybe tell her that your fiancé doesn't feel comfortable with her following you around, traveling abroad to see you or fuck, being all fucking touchy and handsy with you in public."

My throat was burning as the words slipped my mouth but I simply couldn't avoid it any longer. I am so tired of this whole situation and it has been going on for far too long. I just can't hold it back anymore.

"Can't exactly tell her what to do," he rolled his eyes this time.

"Really? Am I really asking for that much?" I look at the man in front of me with disbelief, "I just want to feel like I'm not invisible in my own goddamn relationship. She sees you more than I do and I am the one with a ring on my finger. How is this fair?" 

"Babe, listen, there's nothing going on between me and her. You have to believe me," he pleads as he runs his hands through his hair.

"You don't think I'm trying to believe you? I'm in the trenches everyday telling myself this over and over again, but how can I turn a blind eye to it when the first thing I see whenever I'm online is that you're both coincidently in the same city. For the millionth time."

I know that pulling this out in the open this way isn't the best option. But how could I keep bottling all of this up when it's causing such a heavy pain in my chest every time I see their names together?

It was always clear the perks of dating a public figure and I never backed out on it. Now seeing the man who asked me to spend the rest of my life with him and have his babies walking around with the woman everyone swears he was romantically involved with is messed up.

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” he admits as he walks away from me.

That felt like a punch. Because how could I make it anymore obvious? Do I have to draw it to a thirty year old why he should respect the woman he chose to propose to? 

“Are you for real right now?” I asked as I follow him into the kitchen of our shared apartment. “Did you really just said that to me, Joseph?”

At this point it felt like there was no going back anymore, either this was going to be totally fixed here or it wouldn’t at all. The bandaid was ripped and the wound was open and burning.

“How can you be so dull? You really can’t see what the problem here is?” 

I watch as he fills a glass with water and turns his back to me. He did it twice already. The off white walls of the kitchen lacked the warm they always brought when we were in it together. It felt claustrophobic and like the roof was going to fall over our heads at any given minute.

“You’re acting like I’m cheating on you. Like this is some major fuck up. It isn’t, you’re turning it into something it isn’t.” His tone was cold but looking at his posture it was clear that he was trying to maintain his calm.

The condescending tone in his voice made me want to shrink into myself and hide away from the world.

“Oh, right. Yeah, blame it on me for thinking that my fiancé going out of his way to be with his ex fuck buddy isn’t normal.”

“Careful,” he warns once finally looks at me.

“Or what, Drew? What else could you possibly do that will make me feel worse than I already do?” I challenge, my gaze locked on him as I wait.

After a few minutes of us staring down at each other, he shakes his head and sighs. 

“I’m not doing whatever this is. I’m done entertaining this,” he declares and he leans against the countertop.

Drew and I met around two years ago through a mutual friend. We instantly hit off and after a few dates, he officially asked me to be his girlfriend - which I obviously accepted. We had this instant connection that isn’t common. At first I was terrified of it, I knew who he was and the fact that his life was always being scrutinized by thousands of people. I knew what people said online about him and as we got closer and closer I couldn’t help but lose myself in the speculations about him even more.

Our relationship was great and we always made sure that each others boundaries were respected, so color me stoked to be in this situation right now. I am not dumb and every single day there is a needle pinching me making me think of stuff and situations like the one we find ourselves right now just indulge those thoughts.

In the early days of our relationship we made sure there were no secrets between us and past relationships. I knew I was his first black girlfriend, I knew he was born and raised in the South too. So joining that and the fact that I am an immigrant did make me scared of a lot of things, the main of them being the fact that it isn’t uncommon at all for men to always find their way back to that they are used to. 

So seeing her upon him all the time while people online barely know about our relationship feels like hell. Because even though I’m in family pictures that his sisters post online, and the very visible ring on my finger I am never considered the option of being his significant other. She is. Every single time. And he never did anything about it - hell, he never even set boundaries with her and she knows that we’re together. Am I really reading too much into things? 

Being three months away from our wedding day, this isn’t the kind of thought or conversations I would like to be having. I should be fucking excited and dress hunting, but lately the only thing that I feel like doing is swallowing lumps and holding back tears, faking smiles and pretending I’m fine. I’m not, I’m fucking falling apart and I’m so tired of begging to be seen. 

“I don’t know how else to tell you that I am not comfortable with this and that you shouldn’t be either,” I point out as the first tear cross the edges of my cheeks. “I don’t know how else to ask you to respect our relationship.”

“I respect our relationship, I always did. I just don’t think that what you’re saying right now makes any sense. Whatever I had with her in the past is over.” He says as he runs one of his hands through his face.

“Drew, honey, you’re not seeing things from my point of view. Imagine if it was me catching planes every other day to be with someone that I was involved in with in the past. And all of our friends know that you and I are together. How would that make you feel?”

At that he says nothing but silence can mean many things, and in this case it means consent. 

Tired of this back in forth conversation, I reach for my phone that was besides his on the counter and as if the timing couldn’t be more right, the screen of his phone lights up with an incoming call. No surprise flashes through my features as I see the picture on the caller id, both of them in a mirror picture as they brush their teeth.

“I can’t do this anymore,” I confess watching as he reaches for his phone quickly declining the call. “Not when you’re up to your eyeballs into whatever this is. I’ll make the calls tomorrow and cancel the dates with the venue.”

I grab my phone and my purse and I walk towards the front door before he can say anything else, I’m closing it behind me. 

[neteyamsilly]

i will soften every edge, hold the world to its best | 1

summary ;; As Jake Sully's oldest daughter, you never see eye to eye with him, always challenging him and pushing his buttons to the limit. What happens when things go too far one day? [PART 2] pairings ;; dad!jake sully x reader, mom!neytiri x reader, sully family x reader genre ;; pure angst and family feels notes / explanations ;; welcome to the labor of my daddy issues and my very own therapy. this fic is inspired by this one by @layonatanvi and I only wanted to borrow the running away from home to get an ikran idea/prompt! Please excuse my mistakes if you see any.

There’s a widespread belief among sky people that every first-born daughter is a direct copy of her father. 

You listened in on your own father complaining to your mother about this privately one time; according to him, this was why you guys kept banging hammerheads like 'angtsìks. 

Lo’ak was his troublemaker, yes, but you were the rebel pain in his ass, wouldn’t stop questioning one tiny simple step he made, never took anything seriously when he needed you to be on top of things hundred percent of the time... Even your younger brother knew boundaries after he was given the stink eye, but you hadn’t stopped testing him every single goddamn day after the sky people had come back. 

His youngest son and oldest daughter were nearly identical in the speed they got him seeing red, but the similarities ended there. Lo’ak would go behind him to cause trouble, and you would do it right to his face, that fearlessness and defiance made you more dangerous than your brother in your father’s opinion.  

His blood pressure skyrocketing was reserved for Lo’ak and the shenanigans he knew right away the boy was getting into, and you got his explosive anger the moment you would open your mouth to defy him — he couldn’t talk to you, a normal conversation even about your mother’s cooking wasn’t possible without you being passive-aggressive and things snowballing from there. 

(“This is delicious Neytiri, thank you for the food. Sturmbeest?”

“Sturmbeest meat ran out like two weeks ago, father. You ask this everyday and mom answers the same everyday.”

Cue him reprimanding you for talking to him like that, you saying maybe he should greenlight a hunt soon to calm his nerves and promptly being sent to your room. It was Neteyam who’d saved some food for you that night.)

If only you would stop talking back to him and listen for once, he’d said, pacing in the tent with hands on hips like an agitated viperwolf as mother watched on, most likely tired from going through this loop for yet another day. You are the older sister to Lo’ak, Kiri and Tuk, why can’t you be a role model for them like Neteyam is? 

(Mom had given him the flattest, “She is at the age for such behavior, Ma’Jake, we’ve talked about this. Let her be.”)

In your defense, he didn’t make sense sometimes, what harm was there in wanting him to explain the thought process behind his decisions?

Apparently you simply were prohibited from doing that to the Olo’eyktan. 

But he was father, he was your family. Why did that have to be disrespect? 

He wasn’t like this before.

A small part of you was aware this was you lashing out because you missed your father — the lighthearted rock in your life, the big shadow protecting you from the heat of the world, who knew how to smile and show his love before all of this. Now he was just the leader of the clan, the weight of the revered Toruk Makto on his shoulders made him a total stranger you didn’t recognize. 

He barely ever called you sweetheart anymore, punishing you for being a brat, most likely. You tried to act like it didn’t hurt. 

But it did. You missed him dearly when he was right in front of you. The rest of the family did, too, they just didn’t say it out loud the way you expressed through what you called standing up to him — in reality, it was a statement about the man he had become, father couldn’t read between the lines to understand.

Mom did. 

She would always explain he did it out of love and worry, and his every move had a reason behind it after the scoldings ended. It was as if she saw right through the prickly exterior of her eldest daughter.

Her love wasn’t held back like his was, not shared like military MREs at decided moments in a day in between attacks, raids, meetings and duties. Hers were long touches, hugs, kisses on your temple, shared time and hunts together, her letting you ride on her ikran with her, the warmth of a meal and soft smiles; whilst his was randomly asking how you were after training and where you’ve been if he caught onto your absence sometimes. He didn’t have time for you or your siblings except for Tuktuk these days. That’s why you were now a mama’s girl.

Sooner or later, the breaking point was finally bound to arrive. 

Yours did after a particularly heated-up fight about your rite of passage. You had had enough of father postponing it when Lo’ak, younger than you, had already gained his own ikran and gone through uniltaron. He was present in the tent while you were fussing and debating with your immovable mountain of a father only answering with single syllable responses, and his light snickers made you all the more aggressive. He got a strong jab from Kiri after a loud snort.  

Kiri, you could get. She was built different from the start — got her mount earlier than anybody else, just walked up to it and asked. Besides, the girl wasn’t a dick about it like Lo’ak was. 

“You aren’t ready yet,” father answered the more you asked him. You thought he'd say a different thing the hundredth time, but he didn't. “Your brother was.”

Lo’ak puffed his chest at that, desperate for a drop of recognition as always, and you could only roll your eyes. “So you think I’m weak? I’m not strong enough?”

Father sighed at the provocation. “That’s not what I’m saying. This and being ready are two different things.”

“How are they different? If I’m on top of my training, that means I’m ready.”

“Physically ready, and mentally ready are not the same.”

“How can I not be mentally ready, I’ve already seen what happens—”

“Enough!” He stood up, towering above you and leaning in slightly. Your younger brother had stopped smiling so quickly you almost let a laugh escape you, and father got agitated when he saw that, thinking you were making fun of him. “Some don’t return from the dream hunt. Do you understand? The strongest sometimes don’t return from that. Your mind needs to be strong.”

“And mine isn’t?”

He gave a slow exhale through his nose, not actually wanting to say it for some reason. “No it isn’t.”

“Why?”

There it is. Your signature phrase. ‘Why?’

And it made your father look above, asking silently for patience from Eywa as it always did. 

“Ma’ite, why don’t we take a break, hm? Come walk with me,” your mom interrupted, taking your hand and standing next to you, your four fingers got enveloped in her larger, warmer grip, strong and insistent. 

“No, I wanna hear it. What do you think makes me not ready?”

You insinuating that your father was entirely going off his own wrong opinion and not knowing any better set him off. You saw the change from ticked off to borderline on edge, but instead of giving into it, he turned his back on you and went back to cleaning his gun, movements choppy and harsh. “That immaturity for a start.”

And you hissed at him—actually hissed at him when none of your siblings would ever dare to talk back to him during a lecture. 

The audible gasps, the holding of breaths, and the slow turn of your father’s head looking like he was going through confusion of reality upon being hit on the head had followed. His eyes narrowed and the lines of his eyebrows got gradually lower on his face, his form seemingly expanding in mass from building anger, spine slowly straightening after fully comprehending what you just did.

“I’m way past you giving me attitude missy,” his baritone and low voice was so steady that you’d rather him yell at you like usual, but he was scarily calm, pushing you to raise your chin righteously at him to show you weren’t bothered by him none, but your ears betrayed you by cowering flat and taut against your skull. “But you’re hissing at your father now? Hm? You think this right here is gonna get you the respect you think you deserve?”

“You don’t listen,” you said, ignoring your heart trashing away from how coldly father was to you.  “Disrespect,” your fingers quoting in the air resulted only in making him angrier. Neteyam to his right, silent and observant the whole argument, was furiously shaking his head that the beads in his braids were clicking loudly. “is the only way you ever pay attention to anything anymore. See? Look how sharp you are right now. Mission accomplished, I guess.” 

“Bro…” Lo’ak, frightened by the wide eyed glare father was giving you, weakly protested, but you knew he would never be able to interfere in the verbal struggle between you and father the way you did to his. 

“You will go to your room,” father said between his teeth, “Do not let me see your face. I swear to Eywa—Neytiri, get her outta here.“

“Do you ever want to see our faces anymore, father?” 

A beat. 

Mom gasped your name in shock, grabbing your arm this time as if she wanted to drag you away. 

All his fury froze away immediately. “What did you just say?” 

You just stared at him. 

“That’s enough,” your mother snapped at you, but you didn’t hold it against her, she was more worried about what would follow if this went on. “Come on, we’re leaving.”

“Okay.” Father slowly shook his head, the storm brewing right under his skin got you preparing for the impact, and all the kids flinched when he threw the unloaded gun back in the crate. “You know so much, don’t you? You’re smart, wise. Know better than Tsahik herself. Fine, you get your way. Go.”

You froze. “What?”

“Yeah, go. Get yourself an ikran.”

“Father—”

“Don’t father me. Go on. I’m not stopping you. Since you’re so ready and you’ll say just about anything to get what you want, who am I to get in your way, huh?” 

But you didn’t want it to be like this. Iknimaya was supposed to be something exciting, prideful — a ceremony. He was saying it like you were being thrown out. Who was going to paint your face? Be proud of you? 

“Why are you just standing there?” He poked your crushed ego further, confident in the fact that you wouldn't set one foot outside of the cave systems at this hour of the day. “Didn’t you want this?”

You didn’t want this. 

“Dad, it’s the middle of the night,” Kiri said, appalled, not quite believing her ears. 

“What does it matter?” He showed you in mock pride, up and down that you couldn’t stop the tears from stinging the corners of your eyes. “Mighty hunter here is ready.”

“Jake,” your mother warned in such a threatening tone that he stopped and shifted on his feet, almost uneasy. 

“What? If she doesn’t want a father’s concern I’m not giving it to her.”

Like you weren’t standing right in front of him at all. 

“Jake!”

That was the final straw. You wrenched your arm free from mom’s iron grip and screamed, “I hate you!” at the top of your lungs at him before storming off the tent.

His ears flattening was the last thing you paid attention to as everything became a blur because of tears swelling. Yeah, right. You wished you could hurt him, unfortunately he was too much of a wall for that. You bet he was scoffing at your declaration right now.

Your body thought faster than your brain did even when the emotions had you drowning under the current, deciding you were going to sneak off to the ikran rookery tonight. You knew he would send Neteyam after you — him barking, “Follow your sister,” at the boy right after you hid yourself between the rocks surrounding the tent was the confirmation of the hypothesis. He was to make sure you didn’t leave High Camp. 

Everyone in your family knew your favorite hiding spot to cool off, Neteyam of course was heading there automatically, and it was the headstart you needed to get a move on. 

Fine. You would complete your iknimaya yourself without anybody’s support, as if these things had any value anymore with how military he’d conditioned the clan to be. You were going to make him eat his words for humiliating you.

The muffled of father drifting off flared up your determination as you soundlessly sneaked off. "Jesus, I've spoiled her too much..."

[ramayantika]

I woke up just now but in half asleep summer nap state I will roll for Heermandi

1. I felt that Alamzeb's casting could be better. The girl was pretty but yet I could not feel the budding romantic expressions on her face and body language. Like that sharmana and poetry narration felt very forced.

2. TAJDAR WHY WHY WHY SLB I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU. No spoilers. Tajdar is very charming, amazing voice, very handsome.

3. Okay considering the history of tawaifs I was at times so mad at Alam and was about to hit the phone screen to say woman wake up to reality.

4. Lajjo and Zorawar's story. Why he left her, her addiction and Lajjo's story could have been explored more. You have such a brilliant actress and when SLB is noted for using actors and their character to their greatest potential, I felt he did not not do that with lajjo this time. We only see her enter in sakal ban, she is always drinking and thinking about Zorawar

5. Manisha was brilliant. The ruthlessness, the wit and slyness. And for a tawaif of those times whose existence and power is constantly challenged, by other tawaifs and rivals and then nawabs and British she has to be so clever, cunning and vicious. Yet her feelings for Alam especially by the end (spoiler free) did make me understand her stony heart more.

6. Aditi as Bibbo was charming, graceful and elegant. And goddamn the way she uses her skills to charm henderson so she may help her people to fight against the British.

7. Star villain Fareedan. I was looking forward to her schemes. And it was understandable why she hates Mallikajaan (manisha). The power play, the constant challenging was interesting to watch. Also sonakshi really acted well, both as Fareedan and as Rehana aapa. I won't say much because the way her character changed at a point where mallika was violated (watch the series for that) like it made me get an overview of these women. Women who were wronged since birth, clinging on to their art and performance, carving a distinct identity for themselves and yet having pride over who they are, and despite all the politics, inner enmity and betrayals, they still did not wish the worst to each other and later come together for they all share one pain.

8. The women if heeramandi coming together to fight for the British got me goosebumps. They decide to use all their money and life to fight for the country. Aditi's (bibbo) dialouge ek baar mujrevali nahi mulkvali bannke sochiye and another dialouge which meant that when the country is burning one does not organise lavish gatherings (mujra mushayra)

9. Songs were pretty good. Sakal ban was trending and I loved the other songs too. Reminded me of Pakeezah

10. Sanjeeda Shaikh as Waheeda. Bhai I used to feel so bad for her. She was betrayed everytime. Poor girl wanted power too like her sister but I understand why she wasn't given. Tawaifs cannot be put into a box. They aren't your gentle shy lover girl type women like we see in pakeezah, the lovely shy, sweet, pure sahibjaan. Their world is a golden cage and to survive here is a war fought everyday.

11. Tajdar ka baap kya gadha egoistic aadmi hai

12. End thoughts: aesthetics = 100/10. I was still looking for slb to explore more of their emotions and life and not just their opulence. Summing up everything, heermandi: 7/10

[thisapplepielife]

Written for the @steddiemicrofic June challenge.

Packrat

June Prompt: Stuff | Word Count: 483 | Rating: T | CW: Language | Tags: Established Long-Term Relationship, Moving, One of Them is a Packrat, And It Isn't Steve

"How'd we end up with this much stuff, Jesus Christ!?" Eddie shouts from the other room, sounding exasperated. And he's not wrong. For living in such a small apartment, they've sure gathered up a lot of shit that they are now having to pack.

Steve doesn't dare tell Eddie it's him. That he's the goddamn packrat around here, so he says nothing, continuing to wrap the dozens of mismatched fast food glasses with cartoon characters splashed on the exterior, in sheets of newspaper. 

Eddie saves, collects, everything.

Glasses, Happy Meal toys, and honestly, why is this grown man ordering Happy Meals? Steve is unsure, but he's got proof by way of a drawerful of toys, mixed in with the takeout packets of ketchup, and for some godforsaken reason, the twist ties off sandwich bread. Like, hundreds upon hundreds, all snarled together in their junk drawer. 

Stuff, everywhere. 

Steve gets it, he thinks. It's from the way Eddie grew up, wanting, needing, saving scraps for a rainy day. Steve never had to do that, and doesn't hang onto things he isn't absolutely sure he'll need again. 

Do they need forty-seven empty butter containers? Steve's pretty sure the answer is no. His mom gave them a huge set of Tupperware that she definitely had no need for herself, because she doesn't cook, but that she bought at some home party to impress her friends.

But Eddie deemed the Tupperware to be too nice to use everyday, so now it's squirreled away, and they're stuck reaching in the fridge, playing the 'is this really the butter?' game.

Now. Here they are. 

Steve's packed butter containers and Cool Whip containers, and a few empty pickle jars, putting them into boxes, when he's pretty sure they should have just gone straight into the trash.

But, he's been in Wayne's house. Wayne's kitchen. And well, Eddie didn't suck this out of his thumb. He learned it from the man with a wall full of caps and mugs. 

And since Steve loves them both, more than anything, he'll pack up these things that should have been long thrown away, and cart them over to their first home. 

Eddie comes waltzing into the room, Steve's nailbat pinched between two fingers. He must have made it to the back of the closet, then.

"Do we really need to keep this?" Eddie asks, holding it up, like it's offending him.

Steve wants to grab two fistfuls of bread ties, and ask him the same goddamn question.

Instead, Steve just says, "Yes, we need to keep that. Just in case."

"I mean, it's been eight years," Eddie wheedles. 

"I feel better knowing it's there," Steve says, and that's the god's honest truth. He does. He sleeps better knowing it's waiting, just in case.

Eddie shrugs, but has the audacity to say, "Okay. It's just a lot of stuff."

Steve won't kill him.

Probably. Maybe. 

If you want to write your own, or see more entries for this challenge, pop on over to @steddiemicrofic and follow along with the fun! ❤️

[triglycercule]

which sans aus do i think would believe in climate change challenge GO

horror: really sans (and by extension any classic variant) would believe in climate change due to being former scientists. like what type of scientist DOESN'T believe in climate change. so horror would believe in climate change but he'd be really damn pessimistic about it (because he's an asshole!) like he genuinely wouldn't care at all. sometimes on bad days he purposely litters. on really hot/cold days as a result of climate change he'd complain and start considering bring environmentally friendly. but he never does. horror wouldn't care at all

killer: he would believe in climate change but he similarly to horror wouldn't care. because he simply has more important things to care about (kities :3 nightmare :3) he thinks those things are somehow above climate change (dumbass!!!! nightmare would melt like wax because of climate change) but when faced with the reality that things are actually being affected by climate he'd be like damn.... this shit id actually happening and i'm contributing to it.... but then he'd immediately move on and get back to more important business

dust: climate change believer but he just does not care. like he tries not to be wasteful and litter and he probably properly uses a recycling bin but in the end he doesn't really give a shit if his efforts are really helping. also he kinda forgets sometimes and that's really not helping the globe. dust would bring it up in fights that he recycles and then people (horror an killer) would shit on him for A. being a pretentious stuck up dick who thinks hes better than everyone for being environmental and B. because he's a goddamn hypocrite that doesn't even stick to his own recycling goals. goddamn asshole

nightmare: he's smart enough to know that climate change does exist but he purposely pretends that it isn't real to piss people off (and get those delicious delicious negative emotions :3) and he'd do it so confidently and he'd belittle you so much that either you get so pissed off and irritated at him or you start questioning yourself and if climate change actually IS real? he'd make up fake sources for climate change being fake and site the mtt as his source because they used to be scientists 💀💀

ink: this fella doesn't even know what day of the week it is do you think they would remember climate change??? absolutely not. anyways ink probably has it scrawled down on his scarf: CLIMATE CHANFE EXISTS. IT WILL KILL THE CREATORS/CREATIONS. but then he still doesn't manage to remember it!!!! but if they could genuinely remember everyday i think ink would try to use less earth harmful stuff for his art and try to be environmentally friendly. key word TRY. this is the guy that goes around teleporting and fighting with ink they would litter the substance everywhere

dream: he really really struggled with grappling with the concept that YES climate change exists. YES there is enough trash out there to kill the earth. YES there is not much he can do about it. like every moral dilemma question about climate change was asked by dream (to swap) and he's very upset about climate change prior to maturing. but after maturing he knows that he can't do much to help climate change but he is FERVENTLY environmentally friendly and tries to remind everyone around him to help the earth (without shoving it down their throats because he's nice like that). if dream had the time he would probably start a nonprofit for helping the earth. he would start a nonprofit for everything actually. modern au dream where he has several nonprofit organizations to help various causes. someone out there's gonna love this idea

swap: he does. i think he would make a joke about it at first when being asked like CLIMATE'S CHANGING? I HOPE HER NEW OUTFIT LOOKS GREAT! or some dumbass fucking joke like that but this guy is even more environmentally friendly than dream. he goes to RALLIES for the environment. he would use environmentally friendly soaps and even fucking kitchen utensils. this guy is just here for saving the earth. he wants to really really believe that big corporations don't mean bad with pollution but he knows. theres no convincing himself that big corp wants to save the earth. even someone like swap who always has hope can't convince himself of that shit

cross: he would obviously believe in climate change. i actually don't know if theres someone here that i don't thinm believes in climate change yet. anyways cross would and he'd recycle regularly and try to be good at it. but accidents happen and he messed up his recycling sometimes and then he feels bad for it because the goddamn earth is gonna die if he doesn't at least contribute his part. cross is baffled by people who don't believe in it the same way i am at flat earthers. like HELLOthe rising temperatures are right there!!!!

error: doesn't care. he lives in the antivoid climate change doesn't effect him. also it would just make his job easier :3 error LAUGHS in the face of rising temperatures

now you may ask why did you decide to post this. but what you should really be asking is why not shouldn't i have posted this. the question was clearly on everyone's minds. i was just the only one brave enough to step up and determine if these fictional characters would care about our world melting to death (OBVIOUSLY)

[parkerpeter24]

bloody love . part 4

pairing ➳ peter parker x reader

warnings ➳ hanahaki!au, angst, fluff too this time 🥰 a happy ending (maybe)

w.c. ➳ 2.2k

summary ➳ maybe. just maybe love doesn’t kill.

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

peter knew now. he didn’t know what to do with the information but he knew.

he hoped you didn’t know that he knew. so he walked into the hallway of midtown high as if nothing happened last night.

as if it was another day.

as if his whole world was not collapsing.

you were cautious around him after that night. he noticed it every time the two of you hung out– if that’s what anyone could call it. but he was thankful that you had at least started getting lunch everyday along with him and ned, just like before.

however, you were almost formal. like you didn’t even know him even though he was still the silly boy who bought your favourite milkshake for you and made corny star wars jokes.

“don’t you think it’s a little too cold now for milkshake?” you asked him, almost letting out a laugh as he placed two of the familiar little milkshake cartons in front of you.

“it never stopped you before.” he gave you an almost challenging look, finally breaking your hard exterior, making you let out a small laugh.

ned couldn’t stop the adoring smile that made way to his lips, sitting across from the two of you. peter had told him the detailed account of everything the second he found out you passed up on that surgery. he just couldn’t keep it all in anymore. ned was the saviour he needed then. but now, peter had to kick him under the table, making that smile disappear off his face.

peter hoped you would tell him one day that you decided to not get surgery for your condition. but then again, would he tell you about his?

he wasn’t sure even one bit.

why were feelings so complicated all the time. he wanted to just ask to talk to you in private but everytime he was around you, he could find words scarce. peter parker, the guy who scored perfect a’s in language, found it hard to talk in front of you.

he was thankful that you hadn’t completely pushed him away because some nights he would still visit your balcony, keeping an ear out just in case your mom’s footsteps neared your room, and the two of you would just watch the few visible stars.

it was the little sneeze that made peter wrap his arm securely around your shoulder, “everything okay?”

you rubbed your nose slightly, “i’m sure it was the milkshake.”

you could almost see the outline of his thin lips through his mask as he pressed them together, “i’m sorry, i was kinda second guessing it too.”

“it’s fine.” you shrugged, hoping you wouldn’t catch a cold.

“it was actually stupid of me, to be honest, i’m sorry-”

“it’s fine, peter.” you tried to assure him but he didn’t seem convinced. you could tell by the way he exhaled, the cold air turning it into a small cloud of mist.

“but i-”

“you don’t have to keep apologising.” you added, cutting him off again.

“but i hurt you.” he suddenly let out, voice almost a whisper.”

“so did i, to you.”

peter swore his heart stopped beating for a few seconds. he knew he was bad at keeping a secret but was he this bad? how could you have found out about his condition? he was discreet and it had been some time since he felt his breath clog up due to those goddamn flowers, “-huh?” was all he could let out.

“you know, how i ignored you for so long?” your voice was as soft as his had been a minute ago, “i was a shitty friend to you, not the other way around.”

“that’s not-”

“no, i was selfish.” you looked up at him, finding the same pattern of web-like structure. it was almost disappointing to see his face so close but not actually seeing his face. you took his hand and carefully tugged on it, “let’s go inside.”

peter followed without another word even if he’d wanted to stop you from talking about yourself like that. he took off his mask the second you closed the curtains. thankful that you didn’t have to ask him to do so, you sat onto the edge of your bed and so did he, following persuit.

it was after a few minutes of silence that peter spoke up, finally finding the right words to say, “you did what you had to. i’m not upset.”

“you have every right to be upset…” you stared at the floor, “it’s none of my business if you and gwen-”

“there’s nothing.” peter cut you off, shifting so that he was facing you, his knees brushing against your thigh, “between me and gwen, i mean.”

your eyebrows were pulled together when you looked at him, “i thought…”

“that was the past. i- i didn’t… nothing happened.”

“oh.”

the silence ensued again, the only sounds in the room being the steady breathing of you and peter. you searched your brain for anything else that you could talk about next but nothing came to mind.

“would you like to go to ned’s christmas party with me?” peter mumbled out, breaking the silence once again.

“he’s having a christmas party?” a faint smile came over your features despite the fact that you weren’t already invited to said party, “sounds nice.”

peter smiled in return leaning in to kiss your forehead. you blinked in surprise as his lips lingered over your skin for a second more. not wanting to read too much into it, you pulled back, “uhm... so, it’s getting late.”

you felt the need to hide your face from peter as the warmth spread through your cheeks.

“right.” peter mumbled before he shuffled off your bed and put his mask, “i’ll see you tomorrow?”

“you will.” you confirmed, opening the window for him to climb out.

your gaze followed him until he disappeared into the cold night of new york.

it was half past midnight when peter climbed through his window, into his own room. the first thing he did was call ned. his best friend answered in a groggy voice from just being woken up, “peter? what’s wrong?”

“ned. you need to host a christmas party.”

–––

“she’s heard every michael bublé christmas song ever.” peter grinned as he looked at you, in his overly christmas-y sweater with santa’s laughing face on it. he held a cup of hot chocolate in his hands because ned’s lola wouldn’t let any of you make eggnog.

“they’re just all too good.” you shrugged, sitting down on the couch.

when peter said a christmas party, you thought the house would be filled with people and the smell of baked goods. but when peter opened the door for you, the only lights you could see were the ones in the living room area, above the led tv which showcased the movie “jingle all the way” paused on the screen.

you greeted ned with a hug and gave him the plum cake you mom had made.

the three of you talked and had one too many hot chocolates and before you know it was time to go home and peter was offering to walk you home.

you walked in silence, looking around at the snow glazed grass.

“thanks for inviting me to the christmas party.” you mumbled as you neared your apartment building.

“thanks for coming. it wouldn’t have been a christmas party without you.” peter remarked, making you laugh and nod in agreement.

“actually, without your sweater, it wouldn’t have been a christmas party.” you chuckled, and so did he as he felt you tug at the sleeve of his oversized sweater.

he sighed in what felt like comfort. you looked at his face for a second before your eyes met and peter gulped, finding the courage to utter the next words that he’d been waiting to say the whole evening, “i uh… i-i brought something.”

you could feel the nervousness swimming in his eyes as you nodded for him to show what it was.

peter dug into his pocket and pulled out a small leaf. you eyed the unmistakable plant and then your eyes flickered to the brown ones that were already staring at yours.

“it’s um… a mistletoe plant… well it was a plant, now it’s just a leaf.” he gave out a nervous chuckle, “but we don’t have to-”

the leaf fell onto the tar of the road when peter had to hold onto the back of your neck. your lips were slow against his and his other arm went around your waist when you pushed yourself against him. peter felt the few snowflakes pause in the air as the world stopped– or maybe it was just his breath– but he didn’t waste a second in kissing you back with the same passion.

you pulled back reluctantly, finding yourself on the tip of your toes and breath short. it didn’t matter. nothing else mattered when peter pushed his forehead against yours, making you get back onto your heels.

peter leaned in again, fingers gently digging into the back of your head as he kissed you this time. your arms went around his shoulders as you held onto him. this one was more rushed than the last. his hand at the small of your back, pulling you closer to himself. when peter pulled back this time, he held you like this, looking into your eyes. it seemed as if you two had been slow dancing.

“i missed this.” he mumbled, making you laugh.

“we’ve never done this.”

“i know. that’s what i missed about it.” and he leaned in again, pressing his lips to yours for a third kiss.

you were so thankful that everyone was busy with their families, leaving the road completely empty of cars and passer-bys for you and peter to make out. you probably wouldn’t have found this amount of privacy in your own room, your cousins lounging in it together.

“i should go.” you mumbled quietly, sighing softly as you felt the phone vibrate in your jacket’s pocket, surely your mom’s call.

peter hummed but neither of you moved, “i can join you.”

you held his warm cheeks gently in your gloved hands, “my mom will chase you out of the building.”

“you’re worth it.”

you gave him a soft smile as he finally stood up straighter, though keeping his arm around your waist, “we have a lot to talk about…”

he nodded in agreement, “we do… and i’m ready whenever you are.”

–––

you’d texted him five minutes before you were knocking at his door. it was wednesday, so may was out all day on her hospital shift and it felt like the perfect time to talk to peter. clear up the air between you two and hopefully… kiss him some more.

it started in reverse order.

you had been in his room for all of three seconds before the consequences of not seeing each other for two whole days came up. peter was holding your face gently, his lips pressed to yours as you two shared small kisses. your hands were on his arms as he guided the two of you to sit on the edge of his bed, “god, i missed you.” he mumbled, moving one hand to the back of your neck.

“missed you too.” you kissed him again, pushing gently so the two of you were laying down beside each other.

peter looked into your eyes, running his thumb over your cheek, “i was so stupid. to not see what was in front of me all along.”

you shook your head, “i was more stupid. it would have been fine if i never caught feelings for-”

“y/n, i love you.”

your eyes snapped up to his, a warm feeling was blossoming in your chest, unakin to the other times. these blossoms felt different, “you…”

“i should have said it before. before you went away.”

you looked down at that, not knowing that the brunette already knew what was going through your mind. he held your chin between his thumb and index, making you look at him, and you gulped, “peter i…”

“you never got the surgery.” yet again your eyes snapped up to meet his soft, brown ones, “i heard you… talking to your mom.”

“oh.” was all you could utter, not knowing what else to say, “so then…”

“there’s something you should know too.” peter sighed, cutting you off mid sentence and sitting up, making you follow suit, “i… got it too.”

your eyebrows furrowed, “the flowers?”

he nodded once, closing his eyes.

“when…?”

“months back… same time you left. i didn’t know what to say then.” he sighed, shifting so that he was closer to you again, “i know what to say now. i love you.”

you smiled softly, “you did not just quote star wars.”

“the fact that you remember it makes me love you more.” peter let out a laugh, pressing his forehead against yours.

you leaned in, capturing his lips in a soft kiss.

“promise me something.”

“what?”

“no more flowers.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

taglist (been a while, feel free to ignore): @the-girl-in-the-chair @annathesillyfriend @uwiuwi @spideyspeaches @prancerrparkerr @usergarfields @theglitterymess @quaksonhehe @starlight-starks @piscesparker @incorrectsourwolf @wildxwidow @annab-nana @kelieah @arvinsvintage @parkersdahlia @raajali3 @tommyfroggie @ellabellabus07 @holland-styles @1-800-starkindustrie @feariteriu @wittlewowa @20forty9 @skepticalleo

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Sword gays showdown, round 2 of bracket one

Propaganda:

For Zoro:

Literally training to be the greatest swordsman in the world. Has a special three swords technique (one blade in each hand plus one with the handle held in his teeth). I haven't read the manga or watched the anime but the live action adaptation gives me extremely gay vibes and based on the fandom things I've seen I'm not the only one

bro uses three swords. has one in his mouth. dont ask how the HELL he manages that. one day he will be the worlds greatest swordsman....after he beats the current greatest for both the titles of greatest swordsman and fruitiest swordsman. he's dramatic as FUUUCK like bro what the hell. has homoerotic fights with the local twink like everyday. directionally challenged, can and will get lost in a paper bag, doesnt know left from right...he probably cant read, too. hes too silly ngl

First of all, im in like episode 250 and so far he hasnt been shown attracted to any woman at all during the whole show so far, not even when one changed clothes in the same room as him and this is anime so you know there were other characters with bloody noses and shit. With that out of the way he wields three swords at once [two in his hands, one is his goddamn mouth dude. Its cool af trust me.] When he was little he made a promise to his best friend that he'd be the best swordsman in the world. Later she died in a tragic accident and left her sword which he still uses today. He also carries a cursed sword but he overpowers the curse with a combination of skill and sheer luck. He got stuck in a chimney. While his crewmates sail their ship he takes naps. He learned how to cut through metal by fighting a guy who could turn his body into metal blades. That's metal. He refuses to fight this liberal marine officer because she looks like his childhood best friend and its just understandably really awkward for him. He's autistic. He's a he/him bisexual lesbian. He's a gay man. He's ace/aro. He's whatever you want him to be babey!!

he has 3 swords, wields one in his mouth sometimes, his dream is to be the greatest swordsman in the world

three swords and big aroace-spec gay vibes

He not only has a sword he has *three* swords. He's absolutely gay there's no way to see this man as straight. Also one time he licked his sword for no reason and that was really funny to me so I had to mention it

Look, this man thinks about three things: Swords, His Captain, and Booze. He’s on a quest to be the worlds greatest swordsman. The Live action has a scene where he declares his undying, unwavering loyalty to his captain WHILE reaffirming his promise to be the worlds greatest swordsman. At this point His dream and his Captain are so intertwined it’s crazy. Man is so sword-y he’s got three of them. When one of his swords broke he carried its empty scabbard until he was able to give it a SWORD FUNERAL. He hears a sword is cursed and takes that as a challenge. He will literally tell his swords off for “bad behavior” when they “act up” due to being straight up cursed. He tests one by throwing it in the air and sticking his arm out to see if it is so blood thirsty and ill tempered that it will cut him. Even though he’s literally the first mate if you ask him what his role is he’s going to answer Swordsman.

He's dedicated his life to two things: becoming the greatest swordsman in the world and his captain, Luffy. 

He mastered the three sword style. Its his style. It would've been more swords but he could only fit one sword in each hand and one in his mouth. He wants to be the world's greatest swordsman, a deal he made with his childhood best frenemy (before she died falling down the stairs). He thought he was All That at the start and was almost completely decimated by the actual Worlds Greatest Swordsman. Now, after two years forced training with that guy, he's probably in the top tier no-doubt, and honestly could already be the best but we just don't know for sure yet. Also, did I mention: he's got the whole demon/devil imagery going on at times. And he has absolutely no sense of direction! plus is a total softie when it comes to Chopper and all the children who somehow gravitate towards him. And he loves naps!

One of the guy's main goals in life is to be the best sword fighter and he fights with three swords which I think is telling enough of his skill.

For Sayaka Miki:

my favourite scene is the one where Sayaka turns off all her pain receptors to battle the shadow witch, uncaring of the damage dealt to her body, because what is a body but a decaying vessel you must eventually abandon anyway? that was very depression of her <3 Also there’s that one time (in the rebellion movie) where Sayaka stabs herself on her own sword to release the witch that dwells within her. and then she immediately gets up to fight back to back with her girlfriend. that moment lives rent free in my head. Sayaka is so depression and I love her for it:)

SHES SO GAY ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY SHE FLIRTS W THE MAIN CHARACTER HER NARRATIVE FOIL IS ANOTHER GIRL W TBE OPPOSITE COLOR SCHEME THEYRE RED BLUE LESBIAN MOMENT YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT ELSE ??? SHE COMES TO THIS FALSE REALITY LITERALLY JUST TO SEE HER GIRLFRIEND ALIVE THEY LIVE TOGETHER AND THERES A WHOLE OUTRO SEQUENCE JUST W THE TWO OF THEM SHE STUDIED THE GAY BLADE I STG also she uses a sword 🗡️ love u sayaka

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

the pages are turning~

a months old pic of my desk

29th august 2024

day 4/50 - productivity challenge

🕒 6:00 a.m.

sleep deprivation is hitting. eating leftovers and coffee for breakfast.

checked notifs

actually ate some goddamn breakfast

not me realizing that i barely eat 2 meals every school day..

revised psychology: ch-1: what is psychology

here's a (self) reminder to actually go study instead of procrastinating 30 mins by watching study motivation videos.

also i recommend listening to non-lyrical music while studying. i personally listen to classical piano music. this is what i was listening to today morning.

showered

morning skincare

extended duolingo streak

aaand off to school. thought i would be late but honestly i've been reaching at the correct time all these days. if i leave my house by 8:05 then i'm good.

at school i first had physics and then 2 continuous chemistry classes (the teacher is good but her classes are so draining ugh).

completed physics classwork (the stuff i missed when i was absent on tuesday)

did the OCEAN test in psychology class! idk why but i love personality tests. i'll discuss my results with my teacher tmr hopefully but what i gathered is that i'm an ambivert leaning to introversion and ok emotional regulation & stability. my other classmate was very much an extrovert with higher tendency to take others' words to heart. we bunked the last 2 english classes together in the library lol. also want to say that i'm so ashamed for having formed an image in my mind of her, without really knowing her that well. i cruelly judged her prematurely and though we didn't really talk about our lives and stuff, we did get closer (maybe even friends?) today and i regret my judgments. ik i would be crushed if someone thought up an image of me in their head like that and i try not to do the same but sometimes i make mistakes. i'm trying to be more aware of that.

studied psychology ch-6: human memory (in the library when i skipped english)

lightly rained the entire trip home and got much louder as i ate a hearty lunch 😋

started a word doc for biology investigatory project

started a word doc for chemistry investigatory project

me and my bestfriend have been much more honest with our feelings recently. the saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" was actually made for us. she's in a new college all popular with new pretty friends and boys probably crushing on her and she says i'm her favourite person. i'm at a new school slowly making new friends and she's my favourite person. i told her i love her. she deserves to know that. and i meant it totally platonically and that doesn't make it any less. if anyone ever asks, "who's your first love?" i'll say her name. it'll always be her.

practiced playing keyboard 🎹

read newspaper 📰 (some of those cases make me feel sick)

post for studyblr weekly prompt

dinner. yum. noodles and cake.

made notes psychology ch-1: what is psychology?

night skincare

🕒 nope! pulled an all-nighter.. yes i have school tmr 😃 listen i do not recommend doing this shit at all. why did i do it you may ask? i don't really have any crushing deadlines as such, but i've tricked my mind into thinking my own plans are deadlines. this week my sleep has been astronomically fucked up. the weekend will be a reset (i have school on saturday 😭) and i will prioritze sleep. i need to at least manage 6-7 hours everyday.

edit: actually i fell asleep around 2 a.m. and did no other studying..

🎧 i love you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams

her songs are actually just excerpts from my journal but minus the romance unfortunately like where's my gf ugh we're wasting time

a months old pic of my desk

[dairy-farmer]

In the UK the Public Schools (extremely prestigious private schools) had a system called fagging, in which young students would act as servants for the upper years. It was rife with sexual abuse.

Tim becoming the pet of the Wayne family at Gotham College, an extremely expensive public school in England. They’re in the same House, and Dick is head of his house, and he sees this kid join and just decides ‘he is mine now’ — and so Tim becomes his personal valet, he had to spend every moment outside of class with Dick, serving his every whim.

Can’t think do much more detail, just Tim being the free use boy of the Wayne family at this school, all of them using him — and when Dick graduates he’s still used by Jason, and when Damian joins and Tim’s one of the upper years now, he’s still Damian’s pet to be used however he wants.

Also maybe Bruce is headmaster? His sons bring Tim for them all to use at the same time?

👀👀👀👀!!!!!!!!

i LOVE the idea of dick having singled tim out, that he'd seen him along with all the other sweet and pretty cheeked new students and decided in that moment to make him his. more than a few other boys in dick's year had their sights set on tim but being head boy and the adopted son of the headmaster meant no one tried challenging him for the sweet boy that looked like a trembling rabbit as he stood beside his bed with red eyes, staring forlornly down at his trunk full of clothes.

by breakfast the next morning dick has learned everything there is to learn about the sweet boy picking at his breakfast. it's apparently his first time in a boarding school, his parents were businesspeople and his father had political aspirations that had been steadily growing over the past few years. all alone, no siblings, and having to make new friends at an entirely new school. no wonder he was such a trembling little thing. dick could see the misery that painted his sweet face all the way from his end of the table.

the poor thing. all alone. scared. far away from home. he looked like he could use a friend. a friend like dick.

dick is right.

the boy leaps at the opportunity to have dick's company. and his protection because a few of the other boys that were interested couldn't help pinching and cornering the boy- he was just too sweet. or at least that's what they said and dick had to admit- for once, those other boys were right.

tim is a soft, plush in all the right places. dick doesn't even mind kissing him on the mouth because tim tastes like candy. the best surprise of dick's life had to be when he worked tim's pants off and was greeted by a pink, peachy little cunt. dick didn't even try to hold back, shushing tim's whimpers and kissing his soft cheeks as he grunted and fucked deep into the hot, welcoming seam of tim. tim doesn't hold grudges and forgives dick easily when he apologizes to tim for his roughness but doesn't swear to not do it again.

not only is tim a nice fuck, he's obedient. he carries dick's books for him, follows him class to class like he's a honey bee and dick is a flower. he hangs onto dick's every word, believes everything he says.

you don't find a boy like tim everyday so dick is absolutely unwilling to lose him. even when he's set to graduate soon, dick is not willing to let a gem like tim get tossed away. he may want to come back to see him and that tight little cunt afterall.

thankfully dick has a brother. he's two years younger and in a different house because he and jason would fight like cats and dogs much to bruce's exasperation.

dick decides to introduce jason and tim to each other because its like adopting out a pet. you can't just dump it out on a stranger or else they'll start scurrying back to the original owner. acting out. peeing on the goddamn carpet and shit.

luckily for dick the meeting goes smoothly and he whistles, happy sipping on a can of contraband soda his sweet younger brother deals out of his dorm while watching timmy whine and arch and gasp under jason who is holding tight to his hips and fucking him with every bit of effort he has stored in his body.

dick goes away to university. of course. but he always makes time to return to his old school to visit dear old daddy, jason, and tim who is one of the small number of students who lives at the school even during breaks.

dick tracks tim down to the headmaster's office and is greeted by the sight of tim, laid out on the desk he's been yelled at across from endless times. bruce doesn't seem to notice or care dick's presence, too focused on fucking his cock into tim's wet hole, slamming into him with thick, wet, 'slaps' and playing with his little baby tits by squishing them in his hands.

oh sweet timmy doesn't look the slightest bit different. his head is hanging off the side of the desk, mouth open and gasping as he gets sharply fucked. he's making little whispers and moans that dick quiets up when he presses his cock to the open mouth, rubbing the head against tim's wet, twitching tongue.

when jason finally graduates their relationship has vastly improved. to the point they can both travel in the same car back to the school to visit bruce and their youngest brother.

their youngest brother who may very well be the most possessive of them all. tim is head boy this year (leaving your pussy open for the headmaster and his sons tends to earn you some privileges) and damian is just a puny little kid attending his first year at a boarding school.

its almost a comical sight. a teenager so much smaller and weaker than tim frantically fucking into his wet, twitching cunt. if damian weren't bruce's son he might very well be in tim's position.

but it seemd like poor sweet timmy would always be on the bottom of the hierarchy. not that he seemed to mind.

tim's hips arched and pressed back against damian, moaning as damian shot off in him again.

teenagers. tim was lucky damian came like a million time in two minutes because barely a few mintes later damian was cumming again, panting and squeezing both of tim's reddened little tits in his palms.

tim's pretty pussy just twitched around damian's cock, swallowing every bit of his load while dick and jason watched, each of them palming their own cocks because it had been too long since they'd fucked their sweet timmy.

their lovely timmy. their beloved little pet.

[intothedysphoria]

Sometimes trying to know Billy felt like trying to know the night sky.

There was something vast and impassive, some would say scary about his countenance. The certain way that he stood, jaw turned up, defiant in the face of anything the world threw at him. Yet there was also something undeniably kind about him simultaneously, a certain beauty that Steve had only previously attributed to stars. Gorgeous but utterly unattainable.

Yet, this unrestrained glorious presence had chosen him. Steven Joshua Harrington.

Steve was not a vast, beautiful star. Steve was a college dropout with a smoking problem he wasn’t ready to confront yet and a beard he was yet to learn how to manage, even after 2 and a half years on testosterone. He was ordinary. In fact not even that.

Steve Harrington was subpar.

Billy didn’t believe that for some goddamn reason. He told Steve everyday that he was the light of Billy’s life, that everything before him had just seemed bland and mundane.

Billy called Steve a miracle. Steve wished he could believe him.

They were sitting legs askew on the couch, eating Chinese takeout when Steve finally decided to broach the subject. He poked at Billy’s hair with the beef and broccoli box, making Billy crinkle his nose. He was so cute.

“Soooooooooo” Steve tried, aiming for somewhat casual “why did you start dating me again?”

Billy stared at him like he’d grown a second head and shoved another mouthful of noodles into his mouth before answering. As was usual, he slightly obnoxiously smacked his mouth together before answering.

“Well” he responded, stealing even more of Steves meal “when I first saw you, you’d managed to get your foot stuck in a trash can and I just thought, that man is my future husband.”

Steve threw a cushion at him.

“Ok ok.” He held his hands up, tone more serious this time “ I genuinely have not met a kinder person than you, who puts up with my unmitigated bullshit twenty four hours of the day and is still willing to kiss me to sleep at night. You’re kind of perfect Steve, if bitchy sometimes, and I only want to be good enough for you.

Trying not tear up at that was a challenge of Sisyphusian proportions but Steve did his best. Billy had gone back to contentedly watching die hard but he raised his arm higher to snuggle into his side.

Brushing his teeth that night, still trying to trim his beard into a presentable shape too, the word perfect kept bouncing around in Steves mind. The idea that Steve could be perfect to Billy seemed preposterous but maybe it could have a ring of truth to it. Someday.

Because if Billy, who admittedly was occasionally very gross and had a hell of a temper, could find Steve perfect, maybe anything was possible.

Maybe a star could love him after all.

This fic is for my mutual @writer-in-theory- I hope you enjoy it!!!

[witchthewriter]

@therococobean.

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐓

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑮𝒂𝒍𝒂𝒅𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒍! Peaceful, atmospheric, slow, and caring - Galadriel would make you feel at complete peace. She soothes you to the core. But it's not just her that makes your life better; you do the same for her. Like a hidden treasure, she thinks you are invaluable.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・Since Galadriel loves the natural world, expect your home to reflect that. Growing plants, flowers, herbs etc., is just the tip of the iceburg with Galadriel

・Get ready for immense respect and loyalty. Galadriel's strength provides a sense of security and commitment in your relationship.

・She absolutely LOVES your creativity. Whatever you create, she wants to know about it. If it's drawing/painting/sculpting - then she wants it all around the house. She is PROUD of having you as her partner.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

I'm Kissing You by Des'Ree

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔

Home Is Wherever You Are

Will follow each other to the end of the earth

The Moon (You) and Her Star (Galadriel)

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Intertwined Destinies

𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐀

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑬𝒅𝒎𝒖𝒏𝒅 𝑷𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒊𝒆! King of Narnia, Edmund the Just, and a cracking good bloke. He would care about you so goddamn much. And that is just from afar - when he actually gets to know you, and you're in a relationship, then he is scared every day of losing you. You become the highlight of his life, the light in the darkness.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・The home you share together is completely nurturing and supportive. Negativity is left at the door and everyone is heard. It's just how it is when you're married to a man called The Just.

・Time together is never boring. Edmund is so witty and has a huge playful side. This humor brings lightness and joy to the relationship, making everyday moments enjoyable.

・As a King of Narnia, Edmund faces leadership challenges. Balancing personal and royal duties would sometimes create tension, requiring understanding and support from you. Yet I think you would be invited into the politics because Ed never wants to leave you out, but he also thinks you have a brilliant mind. He wants your input!

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

For the Dancing and the Dreaming by Erutan

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔 

The Gomez & Morticia Adams (loving and devoted, you top)

Looks Like A Jerk But Has A Heart Of Gold (Ed) x Looks Like A Cinnamon Roll But Is Also A Badass (You)

 “Shut Up” x “Make Me”

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Bickering and Banter

𝐌𝐂𝐔

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

𝑰 𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝑴'𝑩𝒂𝒌𝒖! You might be wondering how each of these characters could possibly match with you. But they do! Each character shares things in common; they are just, fair, equal. They do not like the darkness, they at least balance it with the light or are completely on the 'right' side - rather than be an antihero or villian. They are seen as they good guys.

And that's why M'Baku would be a great partner for you. He's strong, noble and has unwavering determination.

𝑯𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒐𝒏𝒔

・M'Baku’s connection to the Jabari tribe means that your life together would be steeped in rich traditions, rituals. M'Baku would keep your life exciting without even having to try.

・In this partnership, there would be a blend of strength, adventure, cultural richness, and deep emotional connection.

・M'Baku encourages those around him to grow and thrive. In your partnership, this would translate to a supportive environment where both partners uplift each other.

𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒆 𝑺𝒐𝒏𝒈

The Tour by James Newton Howard

𝑹𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒑 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒔 

Snarky Power Couple That Can, And Probably Will, Destroy You

Thinks They're In Charge (M'Baku) x Is Actually In Charge (You)

Fake Relationship Which Turns Into True Love

𝑷𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝑻𝒓𝒐𝒑𝒆

Timeless Love

[shadelorde]

God I’m thinking about. And this right now is in the context of fandom spaces, but I’m thinking about how content creators will create a character or creature to be unlovable, and how people take it as a challenge.

I’m thinking about how Sky COTL has the krill (aka Dark Dragon), and the krill are meant to be Ugly and Scary and Evil.

But people loved these things so goddamn much that tgc made a plush, with the description of “let your warmth calm the Dark Dragon, as sometimes all we need is a hug.” This little creature sells out within a month, usually. It took me several months to finally order one because they sell out so fast!

I think about how Vaatu is like. inherently a Bad Guy in LOK. I think about how he’s not even written all that well because of the horrible time crunch. But still I dedicate myself to writing and drawing him and I love him so so much, and I’m not even sure why.

I think about how even outside of fandom spaces humans will pack-bond to inanimate objects that are crushed or weird or just made wrong by accident.

I think about how we love things so much they get a bit threadbare and squished because we loved them so very much, and then we love them more.

I think seeing this much compassion in everyday life even when it’s “insignificant” makes me feel a lot better about humanity.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

A War of the Heart - Chapter Four | Luke Alvez x Fem! Reader

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter Summary - tension mounts between you and Luke and Spencer is pushed over the edge.

Category - heavy angst | smut | eventual happy ending.

Content Warnings - very brief mention of losing a father (Luke), slight threatening behaviour, swearing, build up to the prison arc, break ups, drinking, sad Spencer, mentions of funerals and IED’s, war talk, brief mention of oral sex (f receiving), use of “good girl” possessive behaviour, slight dominant Luke, penetrative sex.

WC - 5.4k

Chapter Four

Present - Quantico, Virginia

You didn’t sleep much that night, too many things swirling around your head. Between Spencer and Luke, how were you expected to get any rest? Every time you drifted off you would be awoken by thoughts of one of them. You’d had several cups of coffee before you left for work but by the time you made it to the office you were still completely exhausted.

You were earlier than the rest of the team after you’d given up on sleep and decided to come in and get a leg up on your paperwork. But you were clearly not the only one with this thought, as not half an hour after you sat down at your desk, you heard the bullpen door open. 

You turned in your chair to face him. Even in war time you weren’t sure Luke had ever looked so terrible. His usually neatly swept back hair was all over the place, he had heavy bags under his eyes and his shirt was creased beyond belief. He made a beeline for your desk and you stood up as he reached you. 

“Uh look what happened last night…” he stuffed his hands in his pockets as if it was the only way he could physically stop himself from touching you. 

“Will never happen again. Trust me.” You were quick to add. 

“Good. Good.” He nodded, one hand slipping back out of his pocket with something in it. “I wanted to give you this.” 

You looked down at what was in his hand and your stomach coiled into thick knots. You quickly snatched the Polaroid out of his hand and stuffed it in your own pocket. 

“Why do you still have that?” You spat a little. 

“Why would I have thrown it away?” He shrugged. “Lisa found it. She knows about us, just so you know. She won’t tell Spencer so you don’t need to worry.” 

Why did it fill you with joy to imagine Lisa finding that photograph of you, wearing nothing but her boyfriend's army jacket? If it was you, you would have dumped his ass on the spot. Clearly noticing the small hint of a smile on your lips, Luke shook his head. 

“She didn’t break up with me.” A smirk twitched at his own lip. “She understood. Just like Spencer would if you weren’t so goddamn stubborn to tell him. Do you think I enjoy lying to him everyday? I like Reid, he’s a good guy. I hate lying to him.” 

“Well that’s not your decision to make.” You growled. 

“Why not? I could quite easily tell him everything. Including how you kissed me last night.” His smirk grew, challenging you. You clenched your jaw tightly. 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

“Wouldn’t I?” He folded his arms across his chest, straightening his back as if to try and intimidate you. 

Sure, Sergeant Luke Alvez had been intimidating at times. He was strong and broad and had the kind of eyes that could send you to hell with one glance. But he was forgetting that you’d seen him at his most vulnerable. Post-coital when his walls were down and he would snuggle against you and pepper kisses against your skin. He’d cried into your arms when he found out his father passed away. He wasn’t as intimidating as he wanted to be. 

“No, you wouldn’t.” You took a step closer to him. “You think Spencer would thank you for telling him? You think I’m the only one that information would make him hate? You lied to him too, and I seem to remember you were pretty complicit in the kiss. If you try to take me down, Alvez, I promise you, I’m taking you down with me. I’m not your lowly private anymore. You don’t control me. I will not back down. If you want to try and fuck up my life, be my guest. But I will not go down without a fight.” 

Luke had a signature tell you’d seen more times than you could count in Iraq. It wasn’t as though he had an anger problem, but he was known for having an extremely short fuse. The littlest thing could set him off, take him from zero to a hundred. Soldiers often walked on eggshells around him, scared to set him off. And the one tell-tale sign he was about to lose his shit completely was when he started poking his tongue against the inside of his cheek like he was doing right now. 

You’d seen Luke at his angriest many times, on occasion it had been directed towards you and you were fully prepared for him to do it now. The vein in the side of his head was pulsing a little and you were ready for him to go full throttle and let you have it. And he probably would have done too, if it weren’t for the fact the doors opened and Emily and Tara strolled into the bullpen, chatting away over their morning coffees.

“Morning Y/L/N, Alvez.” Emily called over as she headed up towards her office.

“Morning guys,” Tara added, coming to a stop at her desk. 

You both offered them a small wave in reply before Luke turned back to you, anger still ruminating behind his eyes. He went to walk past you to his own desk but as he did, he growled one final thing in your ear, making sure to speak quietly enough that Tara wouldn’t hear. 

“I can’t believe I ever thought I loved you.” He spat and continued to his desk. 

And for some reason, hearing that was worse than anything else he could have said to you. 

***

You’d been so wrapped up in Luke’s reappearance in your life and trying to ignore all the unresolved feelings that went with it, that you didn’t realise Spencer was struggling with his own issues until it was too late. 

Of course he’d mentioned his trips to Houston and the subsequent moving of his mother into his apartment when he thought he could handle everything on his own. But then after the night at the bar he stopped talking to you, he was away from the BAU more and more and you barely saw him. 

In that time Luke hadn’t spoken to you either, unless it directly pertained to work. You often wanted to seek him out, maybe even apologise and try to salvage a friendship in this wreckage but you were far too stubborn. You knew him and Lisa were still going strong as you caught the occasional phone call he had with her. But you knew to leave well alone. It would take time but maybe one day the two of you could be civil with one another. 

It was almost three weeks later, after arriving back from a case in Palm Springs that Spencer finally reached out. 

You’d be home for about a half hour, indulging in the world's largest glass of wine, when there was a knock at your door. You frowned to yourself, not expecting company, putting the glass down on the coffee table and forcing yourself to your feet. 

To say Spencer looked haggard would have been an understatement, he wore his emotions all over his face. He looked like he was fighting some kind of internal battle just by being here. You didn’t speak, simply leant on the door jamb while you waited for him to say something. 

He just watched you for a few long minutes, as if he had no words left. He looked so painfully tired like he may collapse at any moment. Eventually he sighed deeply, running his fingers through his tangled hair. 

“We should talk.” His voice was distant, shattered. 

“Ok.” You nodded, stepping aside to let him inside your apartment. He shuffled his way in, closing the door behind him. “Do you want a drink or something?”

“No.” He was quick to shake his head. “Y/N, tell me one last time. Tell me you aren’t lying when you say you and Luke were just friends.” 

“Spence,” you swallowed, half considering actually telling him the truth. But it had gone on too long now, you’d lied too many times. There was no going back. “Luke and I were just friends.” 

Spencer looked away from you, his brow furrowing and shaking his head. He drummed his fingers against the side of his satchel before reaching one hand inside of it. 

“You see I’d convinced myself I was being paranoid, believed that you wouldn’t lie to me.” He retrieved something from inside the bag and pulled it out. “But then I found this.” 

He held the Polaroid loosely between his fingers, proffering it towards you. When you didn’t take it, he let his gaze fall onto it and you saw the hurt in his eyes. 

You’d left it in a book on your desk at work, maybe even a case file you couldn’t quite remember. You’d meant to take it home and destroy it but kept forgetting to do so. And now Spencer had it. 

“It’s funny really because you could have just been wearing anyone’s army jacket, right?” He sighed. “You can barely see the word Alvez stitched onto the breast. Barely. But you can still see it.” He let go of the photograph and let it fall to the floor, glancing back up at you, unshed tears now behind his eyes. “So tell me again how you were just friends.” 

“I’m sorry.” It was weak, pathetic even. You owed him more than that. 

“You’re sorry?” Spencer frowned. “You lied to me for months. I asked you god knows how many times and you consistently lied to me. Over and over again. Do you really think I’m so fragile I couldn’t have handled the truth?”

“Could you have?” 

“If you’d told me right away, yeah! Sure I would have been a little jealous but I mean, look at him! But I like to think I’m secure enough in myself that I would have handled it. It’s the lies Y/N I can’t cope with. People only lie when they have something to hide, so I can only assume you lied to me because you still have feelings for him.” 

“No.” You shook your head. “No, that’s not true.” 

“I don’t believe anything you say anymore, Y/N. I have enough going on with my mom right now, this is the last thing I need.” His voice shook.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop saying that!” He raised his voice. “You’re not sorry you lied, you’re sorry you got caught. Did you cheat on me?”

“No.” 

Spencer chuckled darkly, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. 

“Stop lying to me!” He sounded exasperated. “I saw the two of you coming out of the men’s bathroom together at the bar weeks ago. When you came back, you smelt like him, did you know that?” 

You did not know that.

“We kissed.” You admitted, pouting your bottom lip.

“So the answer to the question: did you cheat on me, was yes.” 

“Yes.” You croaked, looking at the floor. 

“Do you have any idea what you meant to me?” He suddenly softened, his first tear escaping his eye. “Because I feel like if you did, you couldn’t have done this to me.” 

You felt your heart constrict in your chest seeing him so sad. You hadn’t stopped to think how much this would hurt him when this all inevitably came out and now your heart was breaking because of the pain you’d caused him. 

“I know we joke that I was persistent and kept asking you out over and over again until you finally gave me a shot, but did you ever consider why I was so tenacious? Y/N, I was in love with you long before you agreed to go on a date with me. I was so insistent because I just wanted you to give me a chance, or maybe give yourself a chance, to love me too.” A few more tears rolled down his cheeks and he quickly batted them away in annoyance. 

You had no idea. Spencer had never told you he loved you before, maybe because he was scared you wouldn’t say it back. Before Luke showed up you might have, but you wouldn’t have meant it the way you should. 

“I’m so sorry.” You felt your own tears break free even though you knew you had no right to cry. “Luke was…he was my first love, Spence. My feelings for him were so intense, so all consuming and it just ended in the blink of an eye. I never let myself grieve the end of that relationship, I never let myself get over him. I don’t want to feel this way about him still, I really don’t. If I could just shut these feelings off I would. 

But the truth is, I’m probably never going to get over him. He has this hold over my heart and no matter what I do I can’t shake him. I knew that if I told you about us, you’d see in my eyes what he meant to me and we’d be over. But I needed us not to be over. Because I am crazy about you Spencer, my feelings for Luke don’t change that.” 

“But I would have always been your second choice.” His tears continued to fall and he tried to ignore them. 

“Don’t say that, that’s not-“

“No. Don’t tell me that isn’t true.” He cut you off. “Be honest with me Y/N, and I mean honest. If Luke were to walk through that door right now and tell you he loved you and wanted to be with you, and you had me standing here telling you the same, which one of us would you choose?” 

You wiped your eyes, looking away from him toward the far wall. You wrapped your arms tightly around your body as if it might help protect you. 

“Don’t make me answer that.” You snivelled. 

Spencer exhaled loudly and you heard him stepping backwards. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. 

“You kinda just did.” He sighed. “I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be in love with someone who’s in love with someone else.”

You looked back at him, wanting to stand there and argue with him, beg him not to leave but you knew that wouldn’t be fair. You could see how much this was breaking his heart and the kindest thing for you to do was set him free. 

“I understand.” You croaked out. “I really am sorry, Spence.” 

“Me too.” He nodded, stepping back towards the door. “I’m taking a little more time off to try and sort things with my mom and I’d appreciate it if you don’t try and call or anything. I need this to just be over so I can try and focus on everything else in my life that’s falling apart.” 

“Ok.” You agreed. 

He reached behind him for the door handle, edging the door open. 

“I really want you to be happy, Y/N.” He stepped out of it into the hall. “I think you and Luke owe it to yourselves to have a conversation. You need to decide to be together, or let each other go.” 

You watched him go, hating yourself for putting him through this. The last thing you’d wanted to do was hurt him. You wanted to, at the very least, take his advice, but you knew you wouldn’t. Talking to Luke was not an option and the only alternative was that you finally forced yourself to get over him. 

Unfortunately that was much easier said than done.

***

2015 - Brooklyn, New York

It didn’t matter that it had been some five years since your days in Iraq, soldiers always had a way of finding out when they lost one of their own. 

Charlie Reynolds hadn’t just been your neighbour for over nine months, he’d been your friend too. You’d spent many nights talking through that burlap wall, sharing all your stories and secrets with one another. You were the same age, he’d chosen to join the military to follow in the footsteps of his father and grandfather. He was kind, sweet and personable. And he was one of the only people that knew of you and Luke’s relationship and you trusted him with your life. 

When the news of his death reached you, you were crushed despite not having seen him since your reassignment to Afghanistan. The kid wasn’t even thirty, but that was unfortunately how it often ended in the military. 

You’d heard the story through some old army buddies. After the US troops withdrew from Iraq in late two thousand and eleven, Reynolds was redeployed to Afghanistan although miles away from where you yourself were based so you’d never crossed paths. He was sweeping a road one day when an IED exploded, killing him instantly.

You’d been on inactive duty back in the states between tours, due to head back out to Afghanistan in the next few weeks when you’d heard the news. You’d been granted two days of leave to fly out to New York, Reynolds hometown, to attend the funeral. 

It hadn’t even crossed your mind that he’d be here. You spotted him across the church hall where Reynolds' service was being held, on the other side of the aisle and a row in front of you. You only saw the back of his head but it was all you needed to see. You’d long ago memorised every inch of that man, and just because it had been five years, those memories had never diminished. 

You told yourself you’d stay for the service and then dip out before the wake, head back to your hotel and drink yourself into a stupor. Coming face to face with Sergeant Luke Alvez again was not a good idea. Yet, once the service was over, you followed the procession to the bar in downtown Brooklyn that Reynolds parents had hired out for the occasion. 

You felt the moment he noticed you. You were in the middle of a conversation with some old faces when the hairs on the back of your neck stood to attention. You slowly looked up, glancing across the bar to see those intense eyes staring back at you over the top of a whiskey tumbler. And you should have ignored it, excused yourself and just left. 

But you didn’t. 

Your hands were shaking as you crossed the room towards the bar where he was knocking back his drink. You watched him order another, heard him utter the words and make it a double, as you approached. You reached him just as he was handed his fresh drink. 

“I should have known you’d be here.” He sipped the whiskey, turning to look at you. 

“He was my friend.” You shrugged. “It’s good to see you, Sarg.” 

“Is it?” He frowned at you, a look of disdain you’d never seen from him before. 

It had been five years but he looked so much the same as you remembered him, like he was stuck in time the way he was in your memories. And you couldn’t even begin to consider how good he looked in that all black suit or you would spiral down a rabbit hole with no way out. 

You couldn’t say you were entirely surprised by his attitude towards you, you’d expected it to be perfectly honest. 

For a time after you left Iraq the two of you had stayed in touch but it wasn’t easy given both of your demanding schedules. The calls became fewer and fewer and after a while you started to ignore Luke’s calls. Eventually, while back in the states on leave some time ago, you’d gotten a new phone and new number to go with it. 

It wasn’t as though you hadn’t missed him, it was because you’d missed him that you’d had to cut ties. It grew too hard for you to only be able to talk to him on the phone, it seemed easier this way. You’d never realised quite how much you’d missed him until he was standing right in front of you. 

“Yes.” You nodded.

With another sip of his whiskey, Luke seemed to soften slightly as he let out a sigh. 

“It isn’t Sarg anymore, by the way. I’m a civilian now.” He offered you a wry smile. “After we withdrew from Iraq my service was technically up. I considered extending my contract, maybe even deploying to Afghanistan. But I decided against it. I hear you're the one I should be calling Sarg now?” 

“Keeping tabs on me?” 

“Would you believe me if I said no?” 

“Not a chance.” You smiled at him and to your surprise he smiled back. 

“Congratulations. You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself.” 

“Thanks, Sarg.” You couldn’t help yourself. 

Luke downed his whiskey, hissing a little as the liquid burnt his throat and placed the glass back on the bar. 

“You uh…you wanna get out of here? Go for a walk?” He seemed so unsure of himself, a side of him you’d never seen before. 

“Sure.” You found yourself nodding even though you knew it was a bad idea. 

Luke motioned you towards the door, following you outside onto the street. Instinctively you started walking in the direction of your hotel, which was conveniently only a few blocks away. 

“So, you living back in New York now?” You glanced at him as you walked side by side. 

“Yeah, I got a little apartment in The Bronx near my mom.” He nodded with a small hint of a smile. 

“What are you doing with yourself these days?”

Luke chuckled, shaking his head at how oddly normal talking to you like this felt after so long. 

“Would you believe I joined the FBI?” He glanced over at you, his smile bright and the passing streetlamps reflected in his eyes. 

“What? No way.” You scoffed. 

“Yeah, Fugitive Task Force. It’s not actually that much different from being in the army when you think about it.” 

“Wow. So I guess I should be calling you Agent then?” 

“Or you could just try calling me Luke.” He raised an eyebrow at you but you were already shaking your head. 

“No, no I don’t think so.” You chuckled. 

Luke pulled a face that said he surrendered with a shrug of his shoulders, before he grew suddenly serious. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Shoot.” You agreed, steering you both down a left turn. 

“I mean I probably already know the answer, but just humour me.”

“Ok…” you goaded him. 

“Why did you suddenly decide to cut me out of your life?” He spat it out fast, like ripping off a bandaid. 

The question had taken up permanent residence in his head for five long years. He often found himself trying to recall the last conversation you’d had, the last thing he’d said to you but he could never recollect it. 

“Honestly? I couldn’t keep letting you drag me into the past.” You smiled a little sadly at him. “I had a real shot of progressing my career in Afghanistan but every time your name popped up on my phone I thought about giving it all up. The marriage, the house in the suburbs, the kids you talked about. But I can’t give it up, you know? I’m a soldier first, a soldier above all else. So I had to cut you out of my life otherwise I would have done something dumb like…like…”

“Like marry me?” He offered you an equally sad smile. 

“Yeah.” You continued walking for a minute or so before you came to a stop outside your hotel. You looked up at it before looking back at Luke. “This is me.” 

He was staring at you in a longing way, a way in which you’d seen so many times before. It meant he had something to say, something on the tip of his tongue that he wasn’t quite vocalising. 

“Spit it out.” You sighed. 

“What?”

“I can always tell when you want to say something but are holding back. So just spit it out.” 

“Ok.” He took a step closer to you. “But you’re not gonna want to hear it.”

“Try me.” You narrowed your eyes on him, causing him to laugh. 

“Fine.” He stepped even closer. “I’m still in love with you.” 

You closed your eyes as his words washed over you, knocking all of the air from your lungs. You probably should have known he was going to say that. It shouldn’t have taken you back the way it did. 

“Luke,” you opened your eyes again, surprising you both with the use of his name. “I’m going back to base camp tomorrow and I start my next tour in a few weeks.” 

“You don’t still feel the same way, I get it, I do. It’s been five years. But don’t give me excuses ok? Just tell me straight that you don’t love me anymore. Please? I think I need to hear you say it.”

A long stretch of silence followed. You had two options here. One: you could tell him what he needed to hear, that you didn’t still love him and let him walk away hurt, but still intact. Or you could tell him the truth, that you still loved him and probably always would and inevitably set you both up for a greater fall. But you never could lie to Luke. 

“The problem with that is, I don’t want to lie to you. And if I told you I didn’t still love you, well that would be a lie.” 

“Huh.” He chewed on his bottom lip. “So uh…what are we gonna do about that then?”

“I’m still leaving, Luke. It doesn’t change anything. Tomorrow I am still-“

“I’m not asking about tomorrow.” He cut you off, stepping closer still until he was right in front of you. “I’m asking about tonight. I’m asking about right now. Fuck tomorrow, I don’t give a shit about tomorrow. What I want to know is what are we going to do about this right now?”

If you were stronger you would have walked away, you told yourself that anyway. If you weren’t still so unfathomably in love with this man you would have turned on your heels and fled to your hotel room.

But that’s not what you did. 

Instead, you better judgement flying out of the window, you closed the space between you and crushed your lips together with a bruising force. 

Luke’s arms immediately wrapped around you, scared you might change your mind. He kissed you back with a deep passion, one that was five years in the making. There on the sidewalk you surrendered to him completely, giving over your control as you so often had to him. It wasn’t long at all before the kiss grew far too heated for the public setting and he tore himself away from your lips.

He didn’t go far, resting his forehead against yours and stroking back your hair in a frightfully loving way. 

“Well, are you going to invite me to your room, private?” 

You couldn’t speak, once again Luke Alvez had rendered you dumb so instead you simply nodded. He placed his hand on your lower back, guiding you inside the hotel. 

The moment you stepped into your room and you had the door closed behind you, Luke advanced on you, kissing you again while pushing you back towards the bed. You let him do whatever he wanted to you, like always. You let him undress you while you laid there basking in his glow. You simply watched as he undressed himself before joining you on the bed. 

He made you come with his tongue in a matter of minutes, screaming his army nickname at the top of your lungs and not caring who heard. He smirked at you, the mess he’d turned you into, while kneeling over you and stroking his hard length. 

“Who do you belong to, Y/L/N?” He asked as he parted your legs and knelt between them.

“You.” You had tears pricking at the corners of your eyes, your sheer desperation to have him again. “I’ve always belonged to you, Sarg.”

“Good girl.” He muttered, lining himself up. “Such a good girl for me.” 

With that he harshly thrust inside of you, causing your tears to overflow and your eyes roll back into your head. It felt like no time had passed. It felt like coming up for air after drowning.

It felt like home. 

Luke made you come again as he fucked you but he wasn’t far behind, filling you with his load. He stayed inside of you, staring down at you for some time before he finally pulled out and rolled down next to you. 

“Do you want me to go or can I stay?” He whispered, reaching out to stroke the side of your face. 

Stay. Stay forever. Convince me not to go. Tell me you’ll marry me and we’ll be together for all of time. Never leave me again. Please? 

You ignored the thoughts swimming around in your brain and shrugged lightly. 

“That’s up to you.” 

“If it’s ok with you, I’d like to stay.” 

“Ok.” 

He wrapped you in his arms, draping the sheets over you both. You rolled onto your side and Luke held you from behind, pressing the most delicate kisses to your neck. Eventually you would fall asleep but for some time you let the tears silently roll down your cheeks while the love of your life held you, knowing you’ll never be able to be together. 

***

You woke in much of a similar position, Luke’s erection pressing against your back. You didn’t exchange any words, you allowed him to part your legs and slide inside of you. You let him fuck you again, using the pillow to muffle your moans and your sobs. Afterwards he turned you over so you were facing him. 

“This was a bad idea, wasn’t it?” His heart shattered in his chest seeing your red rimmed, puffy eyes. 

“Probably one of the worst.” You tried to force a smile. “I already miss you and you’re right in front of me.” 

He nodded, sniffing back his own tears. 

“If you ever change your mind,” he placed a soft kiss to your lips, forcing himself up and out of the bed. “If you ever decide you want to give up that life and settle down, I’m only a phone call away.” 

You watched him dress before he retrieved his card from his wallet and left it on the nightstand. He crouched down next to the bed and you shuffled closer so he could cup your face.

“I mean it, Y/N,” he whispered. “All you need to do is say the word and I’ll marry you in a heartbeat.” 

Your bottom lip quivered, tears still rolling down your cheeks. Marrying Luke Alvez would have been the utmost privilege. But you had other commitments you needed to see through. 

“You should go.” You forced yourself to say, taking him by the hand and removing it from your face. 

Luke nodded, standing back up and smoothing down yesterday's rumpled shirt. 

“I’ll never stop loving you, ok?” He shot you one last look before he turned away, physically unable to look at you anymore as it hurt too badly. 

You didn’t reply. You didn’t have any words to say that weren’t don’t go or please don’t leave me. You watched him slump to the door and open it, taking one last deep breath before he crossed back over the threshold into the corridor and closed the door on you. 

You were still crying when you forced yourself to sit up and picked up his FBI business card he’d left. With a heavy heart you got up, marched across the room with as much conviction as you could muster, and tossed the card in the trash. Holding onto another memory of Luke Alvez was pointless. 

You’d spent five years trying to get over him and in just a single night you were back to square one. Maybe one day you’d be able to tell yourself you no longer loved him, but today certainly wasn’t that day. Tomorrow didn’t look so good either. 

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[sinnohelitefourlore]

Random Sinnoh Gym Leader HCs Pt 2.

Candice:

- When she was at Snowpoint City’s Trainer’s School (aka, “Bitch High” according to students from other schools) she was considered one of the “nice” ones, which at the time said quite a lot.

- Candice was never outright mean, she was just… venomously sweet. It was out of self-defense, however – she was passive aggressive to the girls that were mean to her.“Wow! That blouse is certainly… a brave choice!”

- if Candice ever says something mean at a league meeting the others gently remind her that she doesn’t have to be so defensive anymore. Volkner just straight up tells she’s no longer a student at “Bitch High” so she could stop, thank you.

Maylene:

- if you asked maylene if she loved her mom or dad more, she would say her grandmother. yes, she knows that wasn’t an option, but she doesn’t want to talk about it so shut up.

- she once challenged wake to an eating contest and lost… the first time. today, he would challenge her, and the end result would always be wake in the bathroom as maylene picks at his leftovers.

- maylene doesn’t like makeup, but candice likes makeup, and she only agreed to letting candice make her over was that it was a plausible excuse to get closer to the ice gym leader.

Gardenia:

- she used to have panic attacks in the eterna forest specifically near the old chateau. one day she’s blinded by her own tears, she texted the last person she messaged with trembling hands not knowing who it was at the time to go get her. that’s how volkner (from all the way in Sunyshore) came to her aid. without saying a word, he brushed her tears away with his thumbs, got her to slow her breathing down, and then they ventured their way out of the forest. she locked her hand with his in a death grip.

- she’s not a religious person, not really - but there are times when she would spend nights crying to arceus praying for her fear of ghosts to go away.

- when she was elected as gym leader, she gave one shiny leaf each to the elite four and cynthia as a way of showing thanks and friendship. after years, they all still have them.

Roark:

- if one more fucking person reminds him that riley was supposed to be the gym leader and not him, then he’s going to lose it.

- no really, he’s tired of the goddamn comparisons. comparisons to his dad, comparisons to the aura guardian boy toy, and to the other gym leaders.

- he likes to help gardenia tend to flowers in his free time.

Volkner:

- even before flint left to go on a journey, volkner’s moods had always been erratic starting as a teenager. he could go from “i want to skinnydip at night jumping from the fucking lighthouse, flint” to “everyday i day i die a little more, flint” in a matter of weeks.

- when he’s up and about, he has about fifty projects around sunyshore working with his gadgets and he’s so on top-of-the-fucking world and he’s actually feeling fan-fucking-tastic no flint who cares that he hasn’t slept in three days it’s not like he needs it. When he crashes, the blackouts happen and everything goes to shit because he’s not motivated to do shit and the pokemon trainers are not good enough to do shit and everything is just shit.

- he plays the guitar to help these moments, and it helps a little – only flint knows about this talent of his.

Fantina:

- Sinnoh had a reputation of hosting the “crueler” trainers of all the regions. when Sinnohnians wondered why Fantina was so lovely and kind, she remarked in an interview that she’s from Kalos. “Ah, that explains it,” they said.

- over a half of fantina’s earnings as a gym leader and a coordinator go to charities – the most out of any league member in history.

- when she publicly came out as trans, sinnohnians had only two questions: “okay… she’s still the gym leader right? I sure as shit hope so.” and “she’s still having her contest shows yes, please tell me she is?” in other words, they didn’t care, because this was goddamn Fantina Dumont, a coordinating legend who could’ve stayed in Kalos but wanted to dazzle Sinnoh, instead.

Crasher Wake:

- though he looked like he could kill you with one snap of the neck, he would never. he only used his strength to protect those who were young and vulnerable. because of this, the teenage gym leaders affectionately called him "Hercules.”

- out of all the gym leaders, you would think he’s best friends with byron. while byron’s certainly up there, he has the closest bond with fantina. if fantina was doing a contest, wake would be in the front row. vice versa for wake’s wrestling shows.

- wake doesn’t hate things, because he thinks life is too great to hate, but then he sees cyrus for the first time and bloodlust riles within him.

byron:

- byron has a gruff exterior, but when it comes to his wife, lily, he gets bashful as he was when he first met her when they were both 22 working in the mines. he’ll call her his “beautiful honey,” and “his girl.” he once said she was “the miner that won my heart,” and realized how wrong that sounded as soon as it left his mouth. lily still laughs over it to present day. roark just facepalms.

- byron will take to his grave that he loves rom-coms, especially the end where the couple finally admits their feelings to each other and kiss.

- byron had cried three times in his life. when his father died, when he got married, and when roark was born.