#everyday i see fanart and go Oh God Damn It God FUCKing Damn It Yeah Of Course God D

[trainingdummyrabbit]

ialways say i havent looked at funy starsandtime game bc iam just not ready yet but the real reason is that .

[hollowphobia-casual]

FRIENDSHIP IS MAGICAL VI:  THE AGE OF SUPER ULTIMATE CHRONICLES OF FRIENDSHIP ORIGINS ZERO

So with Tumblr bursting into flames and most of the artists I know and respect trying to abandon this ship like rats escaping the titanic, I felt it was best if I moved this from my usual December the 25th to... NOW, Because well I worry that many people on this might not be here by the time 17th passes and my eternal dying love to those I care about will be unheard and what kind of person would I be if I didn’t remind EVERY.SINGLE.ONE of my friends how important and special they were to be and what makes them fantastic, So yeah depending on the state of tumblr after Dec 17th this might be the last one, or I will just have to email all of you INDIVIDUALLY. @mistercrowbar CROWBAR! HEY! So, you’ve been on this friendship list since..., we have been friends, which is.., a really long time, like I honestly can not recall a day where we have not been friends and during all that time I can’t get over just how amazing you are! Like, Holy shit are you real? Cause I get to a point where, I think this woman can’t improve anymore, and then BAMB! You do! Like Jesus, I’m always just floored by what you put out, I said once before that I strive to be as good as you some day and that has not changed! But now it gets even harder, cause like, not only are you good at art, You go and pull this beautiful disaster out of your head, SAY HELLO TO FUCKING RYYBYN BITCHES! If there was a competition for some of the best DnD characters I have ever seen on paper, I’d vote for Ryybyn every-time, a literal joke character who evolved into one of the most emotional rollarcoasters I have ever seen, who made me DETERMINED, to either play a game with you (And I fucked that up) or a game of my own, just AH!, This character! Like, their design, their character art, THEIR STORIES! OH GOD DON’T GET ME START ON THOSE, CAUSE YOU BEAUTIFUL GENIUS! You took comics from your session and made a BOOK! That I want to buy! I WANT ONE, BUT CHRISTMAS SO, ARGH!  FUCK YOU SANTA! And!

And.. If you were not just fantastic enough already, incredible artist, attractive, funny, nerdy as all shit, super space wizard, DND and now.., now.. FUCKING HOME OWNER, like how, why, when, what! I know you moved into a house, like, Holy shit you moved into a house, but holy shit you OWN a house, it’s yours, you can paint dicks on the wall and no one can stop you! Your Independence it just, floors me, every-time, here I am questioning everything about myself and myself worth, and you go buy a house, and release two books IN THE SAME YEAR. I said how I wanted to follow in your footsteps, become as great as you, WELL APPARENTLY I NEED TO PICK UP MY GOD DAMN FEET CAUSE I’M TOO FUCKING SLOOOOW. I am SO grateful to meet someone terrifyingly amazing and best of yet, they think of me as their friend (For now) Just.., Please, don’t ever stop breaking down walls and plowing forward, you fantasticly insane woman you. @nightmargin So, what feels like, not that long ago we were chatting about Ralph and OCTs, as well as other kids who are incredibly prone to accidents and damages and now, well, YOU HAVE A FUCKING HIT GAME THAT I CAN’T LOOK LEFT OR RIGHT WITHOUT SEEING IT’S LIKE BOOM! Go to MCM OneShot Cosplayers, Look at youtube videos either seeing your characters in the background or I’m seeing people playing your game! I went on a Discord chat and I saw someone sporting a Oneshot icon. I’m just, so, happy and proud and amazed by the how far you have come, it’s just, you were always a talented person, your comics, story and artstyle was fucking fantastical, I was soaked into every second of it, wanting to learn more and more with each new picture and then, just to put the cheery on this cake, you did music, but not just any music REALLY GOOD MUSIC, I remember going to your gallery on DevianrtArt just to listen to a song over and over cause it was so good, like, damn and now, you are like, HUGE, it’s insane, like seriously, someone took time to make a 3D model of your character, holy shit. I’m lucky to get fanart, but what this is, I just, my friend is amazing person, and I couldn’t be more happy for her if I tried, you should be proud of yourself if you are not, take time and just let the well earned reward sink in, your hard work has defiantly paid off. @blueskyesartic Okay, so like, You are amazing, I dunno if I’ve ever said it enough, but, you just are, there is nothing about you that I’m not awed by, you are just, so fantastic in my eyes, I dunno if that's putting you on a pedestal or not, but fuck it, this is my sappy list so I say what I want! Your art is beautiful, you yourself are just one of the most fun people I have had the pleasure to talk to and I miss it so damn much, are trivial pointless conversations that spiraled endlessly into jokes and deep discussions, are critical thinking on story telling and art in general, it was amazing, but.., either you are never alone or I’m not and, I hate that, I’ve missed you so much it sucks, like.., I have these great memories of us talking, drawing and spending time together, these perfect moments in time that I will cherish to the end of my days, cause I know you are going to become something, I can feel it, but I might end up left behind. I just wish I could spend more time, talking, chatting and just being with you, you are amazing and I’d love to run on to you on a stage at a convention, like we joked about, but no matter what happens, you need to keep being brilliant, every second of every day, you have to continue, cause you are great and everyone knows it. @taplaos HOLY SHIT HAVE YOU SEEN THE SHIT THEY CAN MAKE, IT’S FANTASTIC, LIKE, HOW DAMN!  Everyday I feel like I’m seeing new and more amazing designs for T-shirts created by you and it’s just like, wait, this is tappy right, maker of wonkey eye, how when, OH MY GOD, Your art was always so bright and colourful but, damn you’ve improved so much I feel like I need to stop and just soak in how much you’ve improved, cause damn, can I just say damn. I am so proud of how far you have come and I can’t wait to see what fantastic designs you come out with next, you are amazing Tappy, don’t let anyone ever tell you other wise! @dansome0203 AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, GOD DAMIT, I have both talked to you a lot this year, but also not enough, or maybe I have, or maybe I haven’t, I dunno, but god dammit I wanna talk to you more, but you are hardly online when I am it’s so GAH! You are just, that amazing my friend that you are driving me insane! URGH, I feel terrible there is like, a shitton of things I wanna do for you, draw your characters being namely one, but I haven’t had time and just, URGH. But more importantly, the reason I wanna do all these things is just cause, you are fantastic, and I don’t just mean the way you draw boobs (mostly), you are such a kind fun person with so much great creative energy I just wanna, get inside your head, I have such mixed feelings on one side I really wanted to be in that DND game you started, but it’s also just a delight seeing the stuff that comes out of it, the curiosity building from it, that funny ass video you shared with us. Everyday I think I’ve seen the limits to your skill, charm and wit, then some how you change everything with new ways of being all that and more, it’s a tad exhausting. All I can really say that this year has been fantastic in what time we have spent together and I just want to spend more, I can’t wait for the next opportunity I’ll get to do so, maybe I should try asking you into a call or something, I dunno, please just, keep being you and keep being fantastic. @flunafloon & @spesiria & @spookydrawsI I didn’t wanna do this, but... I’m sorry, you guy are fantastic people I love your work, I love each one of you but I just.., I struggle to keep up to date with my own life let alone my friends, but three were such big important parts of me it feels.., no I feel like a shit for basically knowing nothing about what has happened, I use to message you each frequently, keeping up to date on your art, your lives and now.. Fuck I hardly even see you on my dash and I just, fuck, I can’t.., You are all amazing people, I should of been a better friend, I want to say I will be but it’s getting harder and harder and I don’t want to disappoint you, I respect and love the three of you too much for that, I’m sorry for being such a useless shit, you guys, are fantastic and leagues above me. @doodlediddy MY FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY, MY FRIEND IS HAVING A BABY! LIKE, HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE ANOTHER PERSON GROWING INSIDE YOU, LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, It’s beautiful, horrifying and just, I can’t believe that someone I know, someone I met on the internet, had close conversations with and more or less stopped me from doing something, VERY stupid, is going to be a parent, like, WHAT. While I am above the moon happy for you and your bundle of joy, I do know this means we probably aren’t going to chat as much, which hasn’t been that much as it is, which REALLY super sucks, I miss you, like, OH so much, I miss are chats, are discussion.., heh, I still remember when I stayed up super late just to send you Toradora, one video at a time, god, that was so funny and really bad for my sleep schedule actually. Still the best romcom ever. I really miss you, I’m so happy for you, I hope we get to talk again, love you, you big christian mamma. @lou0 There are many people I would attribute to me being here right now, from saving my life, to being a mentor and some just being shoulders to cry on, but none of them.., were the person I obsessed over.., wait let me rephrase that. When I started as good old Clock-workable, making steampunk rip offs of Unknown Peron’s Karl, you were some I admired, you were a kind, passionate and amazingly creative artist, AND HOLY SHIT MAH, SHE’S IN BRITAIN, I COULD POSSIBLY MEET THIS WONDERFUL PERSON. Sadly that never happened, and I’d openly admit I feel very intimidated talking to you, I dunno why, shame? Guilt? I feel like, I don’t belong, that I’m not good enough for you, that there are better people who deserve your attention that I do, despite just how, fun you are to be around and just how important of a person you are to me, so I admit it, it hurts, me seeing you down low like you are, I wanna pick you up, be the motivation you were to me, but I also have to accept that I can’t be, all I can do, is try to be a good friend and be there for you. You are, the most amazing, creative person I have ever known, I’ve wanted to Commission you for long, to collab with you, to have one of my characters drawn by you, hell just be noticed by you, cause you are just that important, I mean, I dunno what I am saying here exactly... You said you don’t see a point, but you to me, your are was the biggest point, it was bright, colourful, sexy, scary, amazing and just filled with so much character, everything you drew and draw has just so much life to it, I wanted to capture some of it and have it for my own. I dunno if what I am saying is meaning anything, but your art reflects you and to me, you are colourful, sexy, scary, amazing and just filled with so much character, every second has been delightful and if you will let me, I would love to continue to enjoy it more. @jabbage I find it funny how, no matter which minecraft server I joined, I never got as far in building a base, than I did on your server, as short lived as it was and despite no one ever joining it, I never joined a server where I got as far as I did on that server, like, I dunno how but there was something about it, maybe it was the fact that I really wanted to build that clock tower. I miss that, I hope you are well, you beautiful human being, It sucks, cause I know that, out of everyone, i feel like I spent time with you the least, which is stupid, cause all I can think of, when talking to you is good memories, which is like saying I stopped talking to you because you were too nice, which is dumb, the truth is i just got busier, and busier and it sucked. Cause I remember thinking how I really wanted to get o know you, cause you were a fun person, I’ll try to be better from now on, cause deserve it, you are a fantastic human being, smart and caring, not just trying to butter you up to make up for my.., terribleness, but I will try, to be better, for you. @shadowscarknight You fantastic mate and I know, it’s been hard, I’ve not been avoiding you, I really haven’t, but, it’s just hard you know? The way, that ended it probably wasn’t easy being you, I dunno if you even know why the two of us stopped talking to each other, hell I dunno why, but that isn’t your fault, specially after you commissioned me, which again, I happy you enjoyed it. You are a great guy, funny, witty, charming and your designs, fuck off they are that good, but you do come up with a lot of them, but then again you get inspiration and you do what you love, so no one can fault you on that, unless your making another ask blog that you won’t update, hehe. I promise to talk more, cause I’m so proud with how you are improving, cause just like, wow, every time I see you look away, it just gets better and better, I should really ask for some tips off of you, cause damn mate, your leaving me behind. I hope you don’t stop being fantastic mate, You are a joy the world can never do without. @totalobelisk I know where you hang out!... So it’s not excuse that we haven’t been talking as much, fuck mate I’m sorry, I don’t hate you or anything, no, fuck no, you are great, it’s me, I’m just.., fucking useless to be entirely honest, I’m terrible at communicating with people and I’m surprised you haven’t just unfollowed me from everything and cut all ties, cause, fuck, I’m just so.. I’m sorry, you are a fantastic guy and we’ve been friends for too long for me to neglect you like this, I’m so sorry, I hope I can start talking to you more to make up for it, or just hit me up sometime so we can chat, cause you deserve better from your friends. @velkro-bitch & @fivirr & @a-trashcan-in-a-corner Am I cheating by grouping you three together, yes, maybe... BUT I ALSO HARDLY GET TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS AND IT FUCKING SUCKS, CAUSE YOU ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL LOVELY PEOPLE AND I WANNA SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH EACH OR EVERYONE OF YOU! (Or maybe I’m just secretly trying for a four way polyamory) But Jesus fucked by a pogostick guys, how can you three come into my life, be amazing shits and then just leave me! You are all such wonderful, thoughtful and delightful human beings that every second with you felt like an eternity, I’m a naturally defensive person, I have a lot of barriers in place to keep myself emotionally safe, and all three of you tore those down! (your gonna have to pay for that) AH, And to make it worse, when you shmucks do show up it’s very late and I gotta go to bed, REVOLVE AROUND MEEE DAMMIT, I WANNA SPEND TIME WITH YOU GUYS, it’s so hard I love being with you all, but it’s so infuriatingly difficult, I feel like giving up half the time, but I also don’t want to cause I love you all so much, god you three drive me mad, but it’s what I enjoy about you guys and I hope we do get to spend more time together. @phantomdotexe I honestly do not know where I would be without you right now, for you it may seem like all you did was re-post my art, credit me and commission me, but you also introduced me into a large friendly community that I didn’t even think I had the right to be in, I was and still very much am the new kid to all this, but everyone you introduced me to accepted me with open arms, artists and writers whom I thought I’d never get the chance to speak to talk to me casually nearly everyday. It’s all thanks to you! You amazing person you, I know you beat yourself up, ALOT, when you really shouldn’t, you are so amazing, not just in your writing talents, but in your world building and characterization, but even then that isn’t there is all to you, you are.., the most, charismatic, funny, playful and down right enjoyable person to be around, you are infectious, you have touched so many people in so many ways that you manged to build a community of friends and fans who want to build upon your foundations, I dunno if I’m even speaking the right words now, haha.., But you are fantastic, so when you struggle we all want to help, we all want to see you grow as a person, as a writer and an artist, you brought so many wonderful people together, you should deserve to see how truly wonderful you are. @horrorjuice Speaking of people I don’t deserve to be friends with, I’m just.., fuck where do I start, well, I will say it’s not entirely my fault you are hardly ever on Discord and I don’t like Facebook, but Bubby, my bubby, I miss you! I miss your explantions, your ideas, you concepts, your worlds, your beautiful bubby brain like GAH, I remember our chats, are long wonderful chats where your dog would bark loudly, the beautiful horrible slobber monster that he was. I miss you Bubby, I really do, I wanna chat and talk like we use to, I wanna hear your beautiful amazing ideas and see your brilliant art work, god I miss you, but I hope you are well and that you are being just as fantastic and brilliant as the day we first met, you wonderful human being. @valbey-the-girl Fuck you, you lovable asshole! How dare you be such a wonderful insightful human being who has had my back for so long, I remember when we became roommates for University as a somewhat after thought, we hung out but we were not exactly ‘friends’, but now, I dunno how I could of survived with out you! You are a wonderful source of humor and opposed thinking that I enjoy, you agree and don’t always agree with me, which is the best sort of friend, someone who can challenge my values and viewpoints, but at the same time doesn’t belittle me..., mostly, you twat. I am so happy that we’ve stayed friends for as long as we have and that I invited you more into my world, with regular games of DnD and other video games, as you prove to be time and time again a great person I love to have at my side. I hope we get to hang out again person to person, because I miss you mate, talking on chat gets stale fast specially when your friend is as great as you. @whatever-i-feel-like-rebloging I struggle, so hard to understand us, that it hurts cause.., I want to be friends, but I just always feel like I’m being pushed away from you, and it hurts. I’ve spoken to many friends about the troubles we have had and many of them have said to drop you, but I don’t and I dunno why, maybe because, I’m scared? Or maybe cause I’m unsure how or, perhaps I’m just very hopeful? I remember a time where we’d talk all the time and I loved it, it was great, we never discussed or mentioned how we didn’t like each others thing, we joked, we flirted and it was fun.., but now, all we seem to do is give each other little comments and snap at one another and I hate it, I hate it more than anything I can imagine. I wanna be your friend again, I wanna laugh with you, joke with you but, I feel like I’m just being singled out and removed, that I am something of mock and ridicule, which I hate and I dunno what to do with myself or you anymore. I hate, disliking this, I just.., I just wish I had never liked you, because I feel like that was when everything went down hill, cause we use to be such good friends, but now, I feel like we are more, acquaintances.., it sucks. @grittysugar HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. That’s all... ... .. Okay okay, but fucking seriously, you went from some gal drawing redhead accident prone children flying goats and tall noodley men with green hair who probably shouldn’t be to fuck. TO DO FANTASTIC CREATIVE ANIMATIONS ON YOUTUBE, LIKE HOLY, GUM DROP SHIT, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAA-, I wanna kiss you I’m so proud, like, GAH, I still can’t even put it into words, like it was..., uh ... .. . EIGHT YEARS AGO, that we were opponents in a tournament on the internet and now your, I’m so happy for you, and I SUCK cause I haven’t bought any of your merch yet... (but I will), And if I can I’d love to see you at a con so I can give you a big ass hug, but that might be another, I dunno, ten years. Also I’m a shit head and it’s occurred to me I have never asked for your Discord information, which now is probably high protected FU-, God I dunno, if you still count me as a friend, or even a blip on your radar, but I just wanna say, I’m happy and just, SO proud of you, I want you to keep growing as a person, an artist and just, be fantastic. @clauseart OH MY GOD HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR COMIC GOING! And shame on me for not staying in touch more cause holy shit, you are on fire, your colours, designs, panels it’s just, WOOF, it’s blowing me away, I’m so proud for you, every time I see you post a page, all I think about is how I need to catch up because my comics currently in the dust, while yours steams ahead. I honestly can not wait to see where things are going, and to see how you go with it, I may not be the best of people at times, but I’ll be damned, if I won’t try to follow along the best I can, cause you have only just begun and I’m so excited to see you be yourself and just wow everyone around you! OH and Please most some stuff from your DnD game! I’m curious about what you guys are up to these days, hehe. Be fantastic. @funktrash The girl was essentially my fan when I was a nobody is doing a webcomic better, quicker and more on time than me, AND IT’S GREAT, like, AH! I know, you beat yourself up, it’s part of who you are for such a long time but, you have to realise, YOU ARE AMAZING, you are fantastic! Like, seriously, you have a comic, your is beautiful and just, WHAT, I remember back when we made an rp group based on this thing! And now it’s something I can read and enjoy, and I’m enjoying it, seeing these characters whose stories I’ve only had the chance to glimpse at now brought to life with your beautiful colours and wonderful sense of humor, timing and pacing, it’s just, YES! I’m so amazed at you, you are fantastic, don’t ever tell yourself otherwise, cause you are a star, a bright burning beacon of awesome! @mortooncian-art FRIEND!... FUCK! Okay, so I’ve always known you existed forever and I’m always loved your work, I even followed your webcomic! Until it wasn’t a webcomic anymore, but sadly I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU, expect that you are so funny, your art is fantastic and I’d love more than anything to get to know you more! Cause like, I see your art, these lovely illustrations filled with so much character and life, I just wanna do the same, (If I only wasn’t very busy) Like, I enjoyed your stuff so much that I regularly looked forward to going to twitter just to see what you posted, either a comment or art, cause it was the highlight of my day, and I HATE social media with a passion, but you made me really excited just to see your posts, and I know a person who can do that with just their art is probably twice as exciting as a person, and I really want to get to know you more! So I hope you keep being a wonderfully fantastic person, whom company I get to enjoy in the future. @sunshinedrago This woman, single handily got me back into watching shitty anime again, and I love her for it, God dammit you are such a fucking fun person to be around, despite the damage to my ear drums I do enjoy our conversations from nerding the fuck out, to tearing things apart. I may not always seem that happy at times, but I’m naturally a miserable person so you will have to forgive all the BS you went through with me, but god you are intoxicating in your positivity, the characters you make are enjoyable to playground with, the ideas you come up with are very surprisingly engaging and your commissions, equally detailed and time consuming, haha. Like Jen I dunno how I have lived with out you so far, you are such a conversational delight it makes me feel like I’m a teenager ago, howling loudly in laughter as I watch awkward as shit anime and actually enjoying my life, but whats great about you is not just the fun, it’s also the insightful and thoughtfulness to you we all grow attached to, you have a great way of handling peoples pain, that I have only seen in a few people, being to be compassionate, reasonable and always to get a chuckle at the right time, I dunno how you do it. But please don’t change, it be a travesty if you did. @tuz-ohtopia TALK TO ME MORE! Tuzoh, you are a very busy guy like.., stupidly busy the amount of work you put into your DnD sessions are stupidly amazing and the stories you have crafted are fantastic, all I want is to share in it more, to listen to how you work, you scheme and plan, your creative thoughts, everything. But you are busy, which is what both I love and infuriates me about you, you have such a driven determined work schedule it puts me to shame, I never wanna see you slow down, because I know you are doing something that is just, wonderful, but at the same time I wanna talk to you, get know you and build on our friendship, I feel like I’ve talked about you to more people then I have ever to you and it sucks, cause you are an awesome dude. Not trying to pity you and say just stop everything for me, I’d never want that, I’m just, so enthralled by your creativity that I wanna get to know the inner workings, maybe work with you. But no matter what happens please just keep doing what you are doing my friend, you are a delight and fantastic treasure, I can’t wait to see what you do. @knifetotheback WHERE ARE YOU! no seriously I mean it, you appear like, every now and again, but you are hardly ever around and it sucks, cause you are a fun wonderful person. You were always a delight to talk to and it sucks that we don’t get to chat as much, I hope you are alright and that you are still having fun with what you are doing right now, we miss you, I miss you. Keep being wonderful, where ever you are with whatever you are doing. @nickala OKAY, So, feelings, down in words,..., fuck this is hard, I dunno how to describe you, like shit, you are amazing, but beyond that, you aren’t just an amazing friend, you are a unique friend, a special friend, no wait, that sounds romantic, what I mean is.. I feel trapped so often, I hate it, my brain is flawed and wrong, I know I shouldn’t think like that, but I can’t help it, I speak and I make people mad, upset, annoyed or just.., I hate it, it’s the part of me I dislike the most, I just want to talk to people and say “HEY, you are beautiful, keep it up” But I can’t, but you, understand me, you help me so much with these thoughts and understanding the world in a way others could not and for that I will never not be thankful, but at the same time I feel shit, because, I know you are struggling, I wanna help so much, I wanna be there to make it easier, to help you through this rough patch, but I can’t I dunno what the right words to say are cause this isn’t a thing where one solution is the right solution.., but you have to realise you are amazing, your creativity is outstanding, the designs and creatures you create are far greater then anything I could ever come up with and I wish I could be on par with your skill in monster design and anatomy. You don’t have to compare yourself, to others cause you are already in a league others couldn’t even dream to reach, if only you could focus on that and draw strength from it, and I wish I could help you do that, but all I can say is that I will be here, the best I can, even if it’s terrible. @thelovelyghosty Is it possible to meet someone who makes you very calm and also incredibly nervous at the same time, YES IT’S YOU! I love you Jen, I am so happy that I get to have you as a player in my DnD games as well as be a human being I get to call a friend! It’s amazing just how open you are to everything as well as critical thinking, you are a breath of fresh air compared to people who only speak with their feelings and not just their thoughts and I enjoy every second of our conversations, yes even the dumb ones! I feel like you complete a part of social circle that I didn’t know was missing and that’s why it hurts so much I hear what you have to struggle through, but you amaze me, because despite all the bullshit you are still here, you are still a person whose company I get to enjoy, your strength is awe inspiring even if you don’t see it yourself, not to mention your brain, have I gone on about your brain enough, cause it’s fantastic! I wish I could just ramble on with you for all day and night, cause I imagine the discussions we’d get up to come be fantastic. You bring a fantastic fresh view you everything, even seen in your character, the Amazing Shield, they’ve hardly spoken but like you they have left an impact on me and everyone else that I doubt anyone will ever forget and as such it wants me to return in kind, you are an outstanding person and I want you to keep being outstanding, so I’ll always be there for you, no matter what, day or night. @altoblt5 Okay, first off, you are too adorable, so I will just have to kill you and second, thank you for joining my DnD game! I won’t lie, I was super fucking hesitant at you joining as I’m not good with people at all, expect all these friends above this text, ignore them for a moment. I am hesitant as shit, I’m nervous and I worried that anyone could be a potential threat to me or others, but you, came fucking tap dancing in with a stupid, lovable infectious character and personality that just, melded so well it made all my worries go away and the more I’ve gotten to know you the less regrets I have about you ever joining our game, you’ve only improved it by adding a dynamic to the group that we didn’t know we were missing from the start! I hope as we go on we can stay in touch, possibly do more games together and just chat more, cause we should really do some other stuff outside of DnD. @riyamilea I’ve been following you since Rise and I have to say, I’m so happy I did, and I was fucking ecstatic when we got to play in a DnD game together, like H.O.L.Y SHEEEET, that was fun for as little as it lasted, but I guess it was invertible a bit, there were signs, but out of it I finally got to make you my friend, and that's an experience I am so proud of cause like, YOU ARE AMAZING, you are so fun and insightful, I just, I’m so excited that I get to talk to you, cause just like, GAH I dunno how to put this into words, you are just, brilliant, that’s it, you are brilliant and I can’t wait to spend more time with you and hopefully, we can play more DnD together in the future, in the mean time, just keep being fantastic.

[franeridart]

I'm so glad Kirishima is getting so much spotlight, he really deserves it!!!! And it looks like hes gonna get more, since hes in the main group along with Deku, Uraraka and Tsuyu. I;m so hyped!!!

Honestly!!!!!!!!!!! That’s one interesting group tbh, Kirishima and Tsuyu’s interactions are always incredibly adorable to watch and seeing Kirishima interact for so long with pure and good people is gonna be hard on my heart (I mean, you know I’m 100% a bakusquad fan but they’re all at least in part assholes and Kiri fits with them just right, he can be just like Sero and Kaminari and I love it, but then his interactions with Amajiki have been so pure can you imagine an arc filled with that I’m already crying)

I just hope my other faves won’t completely disappear through this arc haha sigh

Anon said: So which Kacchan quote do you like best "Die your bacteria fucks, dieee!" or "BRING YOUR DAMN TRASH TO ME"?

LMAO SORRY ANON BUT MY FAVE GOTTA BE

WHAT A GODDAMN DISASTER THIS BOY IS

Anon said:there's a terushima week. thought i might tell you bc i miss you drawing him ;3; might wanna join? :3

Anon said:Terushima week is this next week! (@terushimaweek) Might we maaaybe see some cute lil bokuroterus sometime soon? ;)

As I’ve already said, sadly I’ve found out about this too late to be part of it - I’m not completely ruling out the possibility of doodling something one of the days, but I didn’t have the time to plan anything and I’m still in the middle of working things through with the bakushima week and bakugou’s birthday so I don’t know - they 19th is Teru’s birthday so maybe I’ll draw something for it, but it’s also a super busy day for me so it really depends on how soon I’ll be able to finish everything else I’m working on orz I’m sorry guys I seriously had no clue about this till, like, five days ago o

Anon said: What are your thoughts on KiriDeku b/c I'm not even that into it but as soon as I saw art I was like "OMFG I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING SO PURE CHOULD EVER EXIST!!!" My following thought was that'd you may have something interesting to say (as you always do, I luv it), so here I am 😁 Also, I love the blog, your amazing art, and you!! I truly appreciate all you do ❤️❤️

Awwww thank you!!! And I dunno, as things are now my opinion on a possible ship might change soon enough because it looks like their interactions amount is about to skyrocket, so anything I say right now is just a temporary answer? But generally I find their friendship incredibly adorable, though as of now I don’t think I can see anything romantic between the two... mostly because even though I’ve seen them being friendly and supportive of each other I don’t think I’ve ever seen them actually connect over anything that wasn’t Bakugou?? Being friendly and supportive is just how they both are with everyone, before I can say I ship them I’m gonna need something more singular to their relationship

I might be totally biased here considering where my main shipping lies, though haha

Anon said:HOSHIHINA!!!! YESSSSS!!!! PLEASE!!!!!! I think this is like.... my new OTP or well... a new OTP that I will gratefully put on the shelf next to all my other children in love!! oh yeah and THANK YOU for introducing me to both BNHA and d grey man! I'M IN LOVE!!! oH and YOUR ART IS AMAZING!!! KEEP IT UP!! I WILL GRATEFULLY SWALLOW UP ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING YOU POST IT'S AMAZING!!! YOUR OC'S TOO!!! Have a nice day!!

So much!!! HYPE in this ask!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!! Oh my gosh!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for EVERYTHING anon I hope you’ll have the best day!!!!!! *O* And I’m SUPER GLAD you gave dgm and bnha a try!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Aww the kiss. I know you posted it the other day, but it wouldn't load on my tablet. They're so cute, those two. 💜✌

*lays down forever* they are aren’t they those pure idiots !!!!

Anon said:I'm laughing so hard. Literally everyone that read the new chapter was like expectation vs reality. I love my idiots. Also yas to HoshiHina

HoshiHina is an A+ ship with A+ potential and I think I’m being slowly but surely swallowed by it - then again, what Hinata ship don’t I ship even ??? the mysteries

Anon said:To answer you question on what cheese sticks are, they're this disgusting processed cheese stick, also known as string cheese, and it's p much what it is, cheese in the form of a small stick that you can pull apart into strings and eat like that! (as you may have noticed, I'm not a fan hah) ((I don't know if you know the artist mookie, but she made a comic about bokuto eating a cheesestick whole before)

Anon said: cheese sticks = string cheese? D: they are delicious i promise

I’m seeing conflicting reports here (lol) but yes this might be a problem for me only because as I said I’m Italian but what I’m failing to see here is what kind of cheese are these things supposed to be ???

Anon said:Are you into Kuroken?

Only as very good friends, I don’t ship it romantically at all

Anon said:I love your bakushimas, SO SO SO MUCH. God, and with the latest chapter, I just can't wait for more interactions with them. God, seeing as I think Kirishima was filmed by the people that were there, I want to see Bakugou's reaction to his new move.

This took me long enough to answer that we now know Baku’s reaction was total and utter envy at how popular Kiri is LMAO - but yeah I still think Baku already knew about Kiri’s new move! After all he most probably came up with it as they trained for the license exam and I can’t believe he wouldn’t test it against Bakugou to make sure he actually turns unbreakable? Also proud-of-himself Kiri yelling at the squad to check out his new move is too much of a good image I can’t let that one go hahaha

Anon said:I started following you for Haikyuu but started boku no hero academia in order to understand what your other drawings were so I thank you (and blame you) for getting me hooked on another anime and manga :)

I’m!!!!!! HAPPY you ended up liking it???!!!! *O*

Anon said:I just wanted to tell you that you're my most fave artist here in tumblr istg i go to your page everyday just to go back at the fanart you drew if you didn't have any new, but when u have, my heart just swells and i fuss over it. God bless you because you opened my eyes for bakushimanari when i was just kiribaku back then.. God i love denki sfm right now bc of you, im sad bkk week is over though ahh and laven. Jfc i love your laven pls draw them more if u can 😘 i hope you'll have a great day!!

Don’t!!!! worry anon Laven has been my #1 otp since I was sixteen at this point it’s just not gonna leave me ever, I’ll definitely draw more of it in the future! And thank you??? so much?????? Oh man!!!!!

Anon said:Everyone in class 1-A: *trains as if they're gonna be in a battle royal and need to (literally) slaughter the competition* Competition: OBSTACLE RACE YAY

Well, the anime did change the training scenes a lot lol but LMAO anon they’re highschoolers what were you expecting hahahahaha it’s already savage enough as it is, I assure you lol

Anon said:Hi hello yes are you up for some angsty stuff because my brain turns even the sweetest moment to that, like what if kaminari saw bakushima's first kiss and he becomes so sad b/c he crushes on them both but he pretends not to and starts teasing 'em like a true bro while hiding his feelings and idk it's only if you want but yeah, how's your day been?

..........I would lie if I said I didn’t think about this while drawing that kiss R I P my multishipper heart is gonna kill me BUT IT’S OKAY I’m not one for unhappy endings so consider this - Denki sees them kiss, since he’s best bro and both Kirishima and Bakugou tend to wear their hearts on their sleeves he already knew this was gonna happen so he’s like, sad but resigned it hurts and he wishes he didn’t have to see it but he loves them both so much that he can’t help but being happy for how happy they are at the same time too (sure, being part of that happiness would be a dream coming true, but he’s used to never coming first he can deal with this hahahahaha r i p)

Meanwhile a bit after the kiss once Kiri is a hundred per cent sure Bakugou isn’t going to explode his head off if he mentions his very huge crush on Kaminari he does and Bakugou’s like, shit, it’s not like he’d mind it because Kaminari is, well, he’s Kaminari and Bakugou isn’t sure why but he’s comfortable to be around and easy to talk to and he’s stupidly pretty and like, yeah, okay, he might be into him too, maybe, he isn’t admitting anything here (not like he needs to, as stated already he’s pretty easy to read), but Kaminari’s also the no homo type of het so it’s not like they can do much about this threeway crush or whatever, and Kirishima’s like sure, I know, I just wanted to be open about this to avoid trouble, which is very sensible and will cut us on a lot of miscommunication angst this is getting out of hand let’s skip ahead I always forget how much fun I have writing this kind of bullshit

For however much Kaminari swore he could deal with it and how much he’s actually managing to deal with it he’s also the same brand of open book Baku and Kiri are and while it was easy to act like friends with no romantic feelings when everyone was doing the same, trying to hide from Bakugou and Kirishima while they’re openly in a relationship turns out to be more or less impossible, mostly because he can’t seem to avoid the longing stares and sad smiles and the I have to go I just remembered I have a thing to do bye’s when it becomes too much, and Kirishima might not be the brightest but he’s perfectly in tune with everyone’s feelings and Bakugou might stomp on people’s feelings more often than not but he is the brightest which means they notice and they’re like god fucking damn it - Bakugou in nature isn’t one to talk about problems until they burst out in fits of anger, but thank god he’s got Kirishima right there and they might not be 100% sure they got the reason for Kaminari’s weirdness right but they’re exasperated and they at least want their friend to stop being weird and avoiding them, they miss him (and Kaminari seriously misses them too he feels so stupid for how big of a deal he’s turning this into) SO they corner him and talk it out cause I’m a slut for open and honest communication and Kaminari straight out starts crying from happiness and relief before they’re even done talking and Kirishima starts crying right after him because sympathetic crier supreme and Bakugou’s like you know what I changed my mind fuck both of you emotional disasters I’m out

(spoiler he isn’t really)

[myaekingheart]

So, I just have to talk about today for a minute. It wasn’t particularly what I wanted when I woke up today, but I think it was what I needed. It’s been a very productive, thoughtful, healing day that has left me exhausted but also fulfilled.

I thought I was going to get what I would consider a “break” today. I only had one class today and it was at 2pm so I was planning on sleeping in, getting some work done maybe, just an easy day. When that wasn’t going to happen, I felt inconvenienced. I have a partner presentation I have to do for a class tomorrow and the only time my partner, a girl I barely knew, was available was early this morning. So I woke up early and got to campus at 9am so we could meet up, talk about what we were supposed to read, and what we wanted to talk about in our presentation. We were both kind of awkward at first, unsure about each other. Then something happened. Normally, I wake up at 9am but this morning, having gotten up earlier than usual, I forgot to turn my everyday alarm off so as we were talking, my phone erupted. I have King for a Day by Pierce the Veil ft. Kellin Quinn set as my morning alarm. I scrambled to turn it off (because, really, the last thing you want is to blast pop punk in the middle of a library) but from the first few seconds, my partner recognized the song immediately and was like “Oh my god, you listen to Pierce the Veil?” Turns out we both like the same kind of music, which was shocking to me because I hadn’t met anyone else in college who likes the same music as me so I was pleasantly surprised. We spent the next hour and a half sitting talking about what we wanted to do for our presentation and our music tastes and other things. It was really nice and fulfilling feeling like I had finally found a friend seeing as I’m super antisocial on campus and haven’t really been able to make lasting friendships in college.

After we were finished and we parted ways, I had a lot of time on my hands so I stayed in the library to get some of my medieval lit homework done. I had packed my textbook and my notebook just for this very circumstance, because I knew I’d have a lot of time on my hands. Only issue was that it turns out my medieval lit homework only took me about 45 minutes. I looked at the clock and still had about two and a half hours to kill and now nothing to do (granted, I did have a poetry collection to read for class this afternoon but I didn’t think it would take me very long so I procrastinated).

I really didn’t want to take up an entire table in the library just to read a book, nor did I want to take up an entire table once I had nothing else to do but draw shitty Naruto fanart, so I decided to do something I’ve been wanting to do for a long while but hadn’t gotten around to yet: wander campus. I never just roam around, I try my best not to spend any more time on campus than I need to. I just show up, go to my classes, and sit in the same spot in the same hallway every day in the between times. Obviously I couldn’t do that today, though. I had far too much extra time on my hands and besides, I had been itching to familiarize myself with more of the campus anyways. The thought of a nice long walk was appealing, as well, because I knew it was the exact opposite of what’s been troubling me lately: feeling vulnerable and trapped and incapable. On campus, though, it was just me and I could wander wherever the fuck I wanted (within reason, of course) without anyone nagging me about “Are you sure you’re going the right way? You’re not gonna get lost, are you? Watch for all the people. Don’t trust anyone. Don’t do this. Don’t do that.” I ended up walking over a mile to the football stadium and back which felt super refreshing seeing as I haven’t walked that much in a really long while and I was so aimless and free, it was incredible. I kept telling myself not to worry about getting lost because no matter what, I was in a controlled environment and I knew the parameters in which I had to stay. I didn’t want to dwell on the worst case scenario, though, I didn’t want to freak out about straying too far from my normal bubble and getting horrendously lost. It gave me lots of time to clear my head and more than anything ground myself. I didn’t have my eyes locked on my phone, I didn’t have my earbuds in playing music, I didn’t even have my sunglasses on most of the time. I didn’t want to obstruct the natural view of the world. I wanted a sensuous human experience so I let my fingers graze the flowers as I walked past, I let myself stare at the clouds and the shadows of leaves on the pavement and let the sun warm my skin and blind me every so often. As I walked, I noticed everyone else around me was always so preoccupied. Most of them were doing exactly what I was trying to steer clear from: earbuds in, head down, phone in hand, not paying attention to anything. Some of them didn’t even see me coming, nearly bumping into me. I knew this was a problem but damn, I never realized how much of an epidemic it was until I stepped out of those shoes for an afternoon. On my way back, I took a minute to sit on a bench and take a break where I typed out a miniature rant on facebook about all the thoughts circulating through my head during my journey. I’m going to copy and paste it here for fuck’s sake.

You know, it's really sad because I feel like, as adults, we don't actually stop to appreciate the actual world anymore. We finally have the freedom we always wanted as kids and yet we never take advantage of it because there's like this collective discouragement around the idea of just wandering. There's no time, we have so many other important things to do, we have to always be someplace, or this isn't where we're supposed to be, we're deviating from the routine, whatever. So many excuses, we just keep piling them up one on top of the other, staring at screens and zoning out, anything to get away from being an active component of the world and even our own lives. If only we all just one day tapped into our inner five year old and stepped away from the screens for a minute and just wandered for the sake of wandering, for the sake of fresh air, for the sake of seeing the world and having a sensuous experience. Feeling the burn in your thighs and the sun on your face and the sweat beading on your back, the sunlight blinding your eyes and you could put those sunglasses on your head on but that would take away from the experience, from the world unobstructed. Appreciating the way the shadows of the leaves on the trees lay on the ground, the many different colored flowers, the sound of your feet on pavement and overheard conversations from passerby and the buildings and the trees and the benches and the pavement. We've all stopped feeling things, and actually feeling them. We've all stopped running our fingers over flower petals and leaping up to reach a branch hanging overhead and letting ourselves revel in the feeling of bare feet on grass. We're so concerned with where we've been and where we're going and even what we're doing, both in terms of our responsibilities and the way we appear in front of other people, that we don't all just fucking stop for once and focus on where the fuck we are. We're neglecting the world around us and therefore in a way we're also neglecting ourselves.

Like as I was walking, I had my phone in my hand but I wasn't looking at it, I wasn't playing music, I was just walking and enjoying the outdoors but like every kid I passed, or almost every kid I passed, had earbuds in and was staring at their phone not even paying attention to where they were going and like its sickening. Nobody stops to appreciate the world they live in anymore and it just makes me so sad. We're so consumed with technology and instant gratification and all this other shit, we're forgetting to literally stop and smell the flowers.

It was just something so philosophical that I just could not stop thinking about, honestly, I had to sit and vent for a minute.

Once I finally got back to where I started, I decided to wander around a little bit more and maybe grab a sandwich at a food stand near my classes and read my poetry while I ate or in my usual spot in the hallway. Instead, I again decided to deviate from the norm a bit and I found a big oak tree on the campus lawn that I ended up laying under for an hour while I read. I haven’t sat, much less laid, under a tree in ages, like probably since middle school if we’re gonna be totally honest here, so it was really refreshing not only getting the time and opportunity to but knowing I was safe enough on campus to do just that (I mean, listen, there were people passed out in the middle of the lawn much less underneath a tree). Yeah, it was buggy and hot and the sun was in my eyes a lot of the time but it was still so fucking peaceful and healing. I loved being able to look up and see all the twisting branches overhead, and the moss hanging from them, and the sunlight through the leaves. It’s the kind of thing I see pictures of all the time and think “wow that’s beautiful” but never stop to actually appreciate the experience of in real life. It’s sad, honestly. Again, it all relates back to what I had talked about before with just how far removed we are as adults and as a generation from the natural world, the instant gratification and the lack of appreciation for the world around us. To think something as simple as sitting under a tree with a book can be so therapeutic.

Everything afterward isn’t really worth elaborating on-- I went to class, and then I headed home in the usual way. Nothing out of the ordinary. I was right back to the norm. The only difference, I guess, was that when I stepped foot back in that usual hallway for really the first time all day, everything was the same but also different. I walked in there with a different perspective, I guess you could say. Like it was the same hallway, nothing had changed, I just felt different and saw things differently because I had spent so much of my time experiencing life in a new and fulfilling way. And even now, at 10:30pm, I may be totally exhausted from a very busy day but I feel full of light and peace, or at least more so than usual. I don’t feel as absent, hazy-minded, etc. as I usually do. Just tired.

[datako-blog1]

Celebrity Crushes (#04)

This post is really more of a personal blog and less of the everyday topics I’m aiming for with this page. Yet, it’s all that’s been on my mind for nearly 2 days.

I never believed in idols, role models, or general any person you would look up to… because no one can be just like that person, and only you can be you, right? Same logic applies to rockstars, pretty boys, etc… Don’t get me wrong, I fangirl A LOT. I just fangirl more about…err… fictional characters.

I fangirl a lot, but if there’s one specific person I have not let go of my entire life, it’s a guy named Tiger.

I ain’t even censoring that name. Anyone who played Maplestory throughout its first years knows of the legendary Tiger. Yes, I have a huge celebrity crush on a game player. I don’t even have a solid reason to crush on this guy other than the fact that he’s a legend, people say he’s cool, and his character looks generically hot. My realist self also reminds me that this person could potentially be an asshole so don’t get too close. I kept my thoughts open on what this guy could be like in real life.

I mean, all that was over 10 years ago and I thought my childish fangirl days were over. Then I found out that my hubby is good friends with a guy who is besties with Tiger. Yes, IRL best friends. Holy fuck I actually have a connection to THE Tiger! Suddenly I had the answers that filtered fact from rumor. All I can say is, the results were very rewarding, and I absolutely respect this guy a lot more after I learned the truth. Still haven’t met him in person, but from what I know from someone who has, he’s a cool dude.

One day I drew fanart for the two. They loved it. Holy fuck senpai noticed me. 2 years later, Tiger’s friend is asking for more.

Errrr yea I don’t really consider myself an artist. I did during the days when I doodled a lot, but now I cannot even draw a face properly. Still, I couldn’t turn it down because fuck yeah I want Tiger to see my drawing of him. For payment, I’m simply asking to meet him one day. Right now, to get to Tiger I have to relay messages through 2 guys while trying not to sound desperate. I just want to be able to talk to him 1:1 one day, whether that be in person or online. Oh, that’s already more than my pounding heart can take~

Then a few days ago, someone posted a picture of their tattoo: Dray86’s version of Tiger. Damn. There’s a greater fan out there who went the extra mile to get a huge Tiger tattoo on his fucking arm. I was left speechless for half a day. Of course I sent the photo Tiger’s way, eagerly waiting for his response.

…and his response was that he’s now tempted to get a similar tattoo, but more badass anime style, possibly whatever I’m working on right now.

And that’s when I was ready to throw my fucking WIP art out the window because I think it’s shit and undeserving to become a tattoo, but holy fuck can we just back up a few lines because I just went from

‘I fangirl about this guy’ to ‘I actually know this guy’ to ‘Senpai noticed me’ to ‘My art may be on Senpai’s fucking body in permanent ink and every day he’s gonna look at that and a part of me will be there too’

… OH LORD. BREATHE. BREATHE. Ok. It’s just a maybe, because of course tattoos are a big deal and ya gotta really like the design first, but just the fact that he would even consider that… oh my god. So, that’s my story. I am currently the happiest fangirl alive.

Meanwhile, my drawing has seriously raked up a lot of rust and I really don’t want to show this. Trying to stay confident.

[monster-teeth]

So for my senior year I took AP studio art.  Kind of.  I took it for a month or so but quickly realized it wasn’t really what I wanted, so they kept me in the classroom but I took a class that’s requirements my teacher and I made up together.  But the school year before I was pretty set on taking AP art, partly because I had taken every other art class available and also because I really like the idea of being in some kind of elite class I guess(don’t judge me im desperate to feel good about myself lol)

But the school year before, because I was so set on it(and I was actually going to take it that school year but I decided it just didn’t fit in my schedule) I looked at the little pamphlet that you get about it and I was like okay what do I have to do to qualify for this or whatever.  And the pamphlet told me that I needed teacher approval and it either said I needed to show a portfolio or i assumed it did, and I’m pretty damn sure it was the former.  So I threw together what little finished looking art I had, which I quickly realized was not a lot, and stuff on my phone that was digital art.  I put it something nice looking and I put the art on my phone in a folder so I wouldn’t be spending a lot of time scrolling through picture for it.  So I had my art teacher look at it towards gaining approval to get into the class right.  So my art teacher was looking through it all, and probably about halfway through he told me that I didn’t actually need to show him this stuff, nobody has to like go through The Format or anything, if you want to get in you just can. Which Nobody Told Me.  the critique goes on, he flips through it all and then he asks me something along the lines of “do these look finished to you?”  and i’m like “yeah, I guess.”  and we talk about that for awhile and we basically get to the idea that really I need to add more stuff to the backgrounds or even have a background at all or add more detail and i tell him how i love detail but I always worry that if I put too much detail it’ll become too much and he kind of talks me out of that by showing me some famous artists with really lots of detail in their work

but somewhere in that conversation over the stuff i was showing him, he told me that my art “looks like your average high school fantasy art”

and just later in the day and the next couple days like

that made me really upset man

Because i really enjoyed what i was drawing at that time and the simpleness of that and I felt like I was getting closer to something repeatable and enjoyable

and all of sudden somebody tells you that’s bad

like he said it in a “that’s kind of bad, you should move away from that, move above that” kind of way

and after those couple of weeks I kind of forgot about it, but in the recent weeks I was just really looking at some of the cheaply framed art of mine on the walls, some of which was in that portfolio

and like im thinking, I was so happy and having so much fun when I was making those, when did i stop drawing cool looking but kind of generic fantasy characters and then i was like Oh.

And don’t get me wrong, I love the stuff I’m doing now, I think my character design and overall art skills have gotten a lot better since taking “AP art”(cause it technically wasn’t actually AP for me), but I kind of miss just having fun rather than worrying about Oh my god is this original enough, does it have enough detail, is there a background, how about complex lighting.

Like I had been doing a 30 days of monsters challenge or something when I made those

AND I WAS SUPER STRESSED though, cause like I felt like there was no way for me to make a piece every day and i also didn’t have enough water colour paper for it lol, but also because I knew there was absolutely no one to care if I didn’t finish it.  Which is really discouraging.  It’s both freeing to know that Literally No One Cares, but also super depressing to know that Literally No One Cares cause then like what is the point?

Like even if I enjoyed painting something and I really like it and then I post it and it doesn’t even get a -single- note, like I’m not kidding most of my art gets zero notes except for me reblogging it in hopes of somebody seeing it, then it kind of feels like making it was for nothing.  Especially since most of the time the art of mine that people do seem to like, usually in person, is art that I don’t really like, and then they don’t like the art that I think was actually really really good.

It’s annoying I guess.

But they also all had this cool funkiness to them that I kind of miss, and I don’t seem to anymore.  Like one of them has this big weird shape behind it that has super thick black lines on it.  I like that a lot.  But at the same time I guess I’m also trying to be sophisticated.  I guess.. I guess I’m trying to be an adult and have Adult art  !Not like sexual stuff!  but like stuff that seems more immaculate I guess. But then at the same time I’m trying to find a colouring style that’s repeatable and easy enough to make comics with, or work quickly with.

I.  I feel so slow.  I feel like I am So Slow.  Like everyone around me can make finished looking art in one day, and it takes me three days if im working on it constantly and I actually finish it and im not having like a Really Good Art Day.  And it just kind of beats all the want to make art of me when everything looks bad and everything takes to long to make finished.

And I both want to draw fanart and also know that fanart is honestly the only way i can ever get noticed on any website or thing ever. But I also feel like I such at drawing fanart.  I should draw fanart. A ton.  And just like not care how it looks or something I guess.  But at the same time if all anybody follows me for is fanart and then I just start drawing my regular stuff i know people will like get mad??? and like then it feels like i’ve tricked them into following me

but also I never draw consistently.  Like I don’t post art for months at a time.  I used to post more on my instagram but then my phone got fucked up and I can’t do that again until I have a new phone. BUT ALSO the stuff i posted on my instagram was traditional sketches and stuff because that’s what I would do inbetween classes and now that I don’t have class anymore i don’t really do a lot of traditional art.  Anything I do these days is digital.  But I spend wayy more time scrolling tumblr than I do making anything these days.  Hopefully I’ll be working on some doll customs soon but I can’t start on that until I order stuff and I can’t order stuff yet cause I have to do it through my mom because I still don’t have a bank account because we didn’t get me one before I turned 18 so now I can’t do anything really?  I can’t take commissions because I don’t have a bank account to link to my paypal, I can’t sell anything on etsy because 1. mail system and shipping in general is scary aND 1. PAYPAL with bank account thing again.  I can’t get paid from my online job until I have a bank account for them to put it in yet eitHER.

I just spend all day watching TV and scrolling tumblr in 80-100 degree weather everyday.

That’s all I do.

Everyday.

And I have pretty much zero friends.

I mean, it’s kind of what I expected out of life, but still.

Still horribly mentally ill and multiple fronts with no therapist.

Plants are still dying.

I’d go outside and do pok/em/on go but phone = broke so.

yeah, im trying to write stuff too, and ya know actually make some comics but art = hard so it doesn’t get very far.  Maybe make something with a friend?? but i don’t know if that’s gonna fall through or not cause like it would involve both art and writing and we all know how Slow i am at that stuff.