#every time i finish something I go and from now on I'll upload consistently again! and also fail lol

[namu-the-orca]

DEAR FRIENDS. My apologies for another enormous silence. After the Delphinus delphis colour anomalies poster I’ve been wanting to make something similar for, well... everything else. It’s a lot of fun going through all sorts of species!! However it’s also a lot lol. Maybe “draw everything first, then figure out how you want to organise this” isn’t the greatest strategy, but here we are. Hence the lack of uploading (though part of that is also just me being busy and scramble brained). 

Anyway, consider this a preview for all the ODD BOIS which are - slowly but surely - coming your way. I think they’re super fascinating and I hope you’ll find them too!!

[sillylilyposting]

People are to willing to legitimize

Oh boy let's see what she means by legitimize

The whole point of lolcow culture is to ruin people's lives for fun.

No the plan is to extract the funny from it.

So when you come out trying to Critique target is a terrible person but - you've already given it to much legitimacy by treating it as a trustworthy source of information

You don't become immune to criticism because people don't like you

People made careers out of turning Christine Chandler's life into a real world Truman show,

Just call her Chris-chan? Also no people interacted with her videos she herself was putting online, her own website and uploads. Also how does this theory track with Yandev, Nikocado, etc who just did weird things with little to no prompting?

With her every action scrutinized and documented to a degree that serial killers subjected too.

Again she made videos consistently of herself by herself

Without that stalking, without the way people sought to push her to do something to keep the entertainment going, without people actively conspiring to drive her insane, she would not have been noteworthy enough for any of the things she done to be worth remembering.

I'll agree some of the stuff she did was prompted by other people's bullying and prompting, she still did bizarre things in her day to day without it but she still filmed and explained her odd acts and lest we forget nobody made her SA her mother! Just like nobody made Yandev be a pedophile there is no excuse of: "The meaning internet people made me!"

_

Hell, without all that, it's unlikely she would have ever done most of the shit she's done.

Provably wrong

Its only the very fascist harassment that made her actions probable or noteworthy in the first place.

So to try and condem lolcow culture, while judging the target based on information only avaliable BECAUSE of lolcow culture is completely fucking backwards. Furthermore it's how they recruit.

I can't keep restating facts... uh chrischan made video herself! So, quite literally what your trying to do here condem the culture with info avaliable because of it, this argument eats itself, christ.

Every single mother fucker who rots on kiwi farms started from the premise that "kiwi farms is terrible, but they've got it right this time about [minor e-celeb you are way too obsessed with] and their hook are in you. Because your on the site reading a thread on the person you hate, and since your there you might as well read a few more

Never used Kiwi farms myself, don't plan to, you have a plenty of stupid harmful and wrong takes regularly avaliable. You keep shifting the argument as you finish each paragraph, a goldfish would be more focused than you

And now they have their hooks in you, You're a nazi

Nazis, Hooks, Kiwis, scary stuff girl. I wasn't aware Kiwi farms acting like Frostmourne or is it more like the One Ring?

Multiple times in the past someone has come to be about someone supposedly being predatory and linked to Kiwi farms thread going "i know is awful but..."

Holy fuck this post is so long... does that mean the people who dm you are all Arthas?

_

No if it comes from Channer (channel?) trash, it is automatically a lie. They do not care about the things they pretend to care about.

Joon the king, sai, Ant, etc vague post, Journalists cover stories girlie, they can be as invested as they want personally and can push a narrative if they are inclined but the mark of a good journalist is presenting a story as unbiased as possible, I am not saying Kiwi farms writers are unbiased or journalists.

They care only about ruining the lives of trans, mentally ill and neruodivergent people for their own entertainment. Truth, Lies, it doesn't matter to them. Both are equally valid for their goals.

Lily seems to want to push the narrative that there are absolute sources of information... dangerous and vaguely authoritarian. There is such a thing as GETTING A SECOND OPINION!

If you were abused by someone and you went to Kiwi farms to give testimony: no you weren't. you're a liar, and you know you're a liar. You wouldn't be there if you weren't.

Not letting "These people who claim victim hood are 100% lying, and don't you doubt me when I tell you that" slide here

Lolcow culture should be inadmissible the court of public opinion.

Glad you added the court of public opinion, thought you were posting this as you got shoved into a cop car

So long as that continues to not be the case the harassment the stalking would only get worse.

Do stupid things win stupid prizes

And you can't buffer your criticism of it by agreeing with them.

The dumbest take she's made, its not weird that when someone accuses you of in decending order Rape, Grooming, and Incest Fetishism that agreeing to it would and SHOULD make the situation worse for the RAPIST

That POST WAS TO FUCKING LONG OH MY FUCKING GOD!

[spyder27]

I'm done with Sundagio.

Hello, all.

So, how are you all doing? Did Easter treat you well? I hope so. The only kind of special I have out right now is Magical Frustrations. Other than that, I don't usually do much for Easter, so it was just a nice day off for me. But, now that Easter is over, I need to talk about something.

In the last few days, I have tried to write more Sundagio and... It just isn't working. Now that I've made Sunset and Adagio get together in my main series again, it just feels tiring. Every time I put my fingers on the keyboard, there isn't any drive to finish this story or any other Sundagio story. Instead, my mind keeps thinking of fanfic ideas for other ships or fandoms. Maybe it's because my body is finding it more interesting? I'm not sure. I've written Sundagio for two and a half years and... I think I've run out of steam.

It sucks because quite a few people have looked up to me as the only consistent source of Sundagio content, fanfic wise. Now? I just feel tired. Maybe I'll come back to it at some point, but for now, I just can't bring myself to write any more of this ship. I hope you are not angry with me. The drive to finish these stories has left me at this point... The last thing I want to do is make everyone here angry or upset with me. I guess since I'm not finishing the story, I should tell you all where I was going with A Dazzling Trio and the Sundagioverse as a whole.

Or not. Maybe some things should remain hidden. Locked away. Want to know why? Look at what day it is~

April fools~

Let me just say that everything above this is a complete and utter joke. Even the title for this blog post~ April fools, everyone! At this point, I'm just hoping everyone reads to this point. While I may have a couple story ideas for other ships, I am still the Emperor of Sundagio. Hell, I have written half of the next chapter of A Dazzling Trio, and I am SUPER excited to see what everyone thinks of it! I have at least four Sundagio stories I want to write within the next month and dozens of others I want to get to at some point! You're stuck with Sundagio content from me. I have not lost my Sundagio drive at all and I am still motivated to give you all some more content~

With that being said, I hope I didn't make everyone angry with this post. Have a great April Fools, everyone! I'll see you all the next time I upload (which will be Sundagio related obviously~)

Sincerely, Spyder27

[fromblyth]

A Brief Introduction

I'm not sure how to write this first post. Or how any of this works.

For the past year now I have written more than I ever have before. I have very recently returned from 9 months living in Australia, where I finished two whole journals, full of my thoughts & experiences whilst there. I'm still writing every single day. Some days I think "This is really great." and others not so much. I've made it a priority to write regardless of how I feel or how little I'm up to. The writing process has become detrimental to my mental health over this past year. It's a very comforting thing to have my journals to confide in and I've often managed to tap into my creativity for the first time in years. I've wanted to do a blog like this for a while where I upload those same pieces and hopefully get some feedback on them. It seems odd that I've poured my soul into those journals and I've never let anybody see whats inside them.

What I'm doing at the moment

I'm back home in England and I'm living with my sister and her family in Surrey, which is about a 40 minute train journey from Central London. I'm now in the process of waiting for a D.B.S (police check) so I can restart my old job at the care home that I previously worked 2 years at before my recent travels. At the moment my days are consisting of listening to multiple albums, playing indecent amounts of Football Manager 2020, writing in my journal and drinking countless cups of tea. Its okay at the moment but I feel lost without work, almost purposeless sometimes. I've come to realise that feeling like that is just part of life and you've got to find ways to appreciate the mundane because lets face it, there's a lot of it!

Music

I consider my main passion in life to be music. I didn't grow up around music and truthfully didn't have even the slightest interest in it until I was about 14. Nowadays I try to listen to a vast range of material from all genres and expand my knowledge as much as I possibly can. My interest initially started with Hip-Hop/Rap when I was in secondary school and for a while I listened almost exclusively to that genre. I loved the idea of these amazing artists growing up in often volatile environments and elegantly telling their stories through their music with such profound wisdom and clarity. I still love it. Hip-Hop music and culture is massively important to me and I always do my best to make sure I'm up-to-date with new records.

A few years ago I bought this book called '1001 Albums to Listen to Before You Die' and I've sifted through that at a comfortable pace. I love talking about music with others and even have a bit of a hobby of writing album reviews from time-to-time. Its something I will eventually do on this Blog as well as interviews with up-and-coming artists. I'd just like to speak with them about their love for music, what got them interested in it and where they see themselves taking it. That stuff really interests me.

What is the purpose of this Blog?

If I'm honest, I'm really not too sure what I want it to be or even what I want it to look like. I'd like to upload excerpts from my journals and get feedback on them as pieces of writing, hopefully gaining a small audience of viewers. I think that one of the next steps in improving my writing skills will be for me to receive some constructive criticism.

Who am I?

I'll go by 'From Blyth' on here for privacy reasons. I'm a 22-year-old guy originally from Blyth, Northumberland in the North-East of England (Hence my Blog name) I moved down to Surrey in the South of England when I was 6 when my parents got divorced and have been here ever since. I'm a care assistant in a residential care home for the elderly, a job which I really enjoy for the most part. I've recently gotten the bug for travelling after my 9 month stint living in Australia, which was the furthest that I've ever been from home. Truthfully I'm wanting to travel again ASAP, whether its back to the land Down Under or a weekend trip to Kraków, I'm up for more-or-less any destination on the map. I love seeing new things and having new experiences as often as possible.

Thank you for reading!

- From Blyth

[baekhyunbitz]

Yin and Yang

An: Finally finished!!! Since it's this cuties birthday still in my country, I wanted to get it done and post it today. Happy Birthday handsome❣

Genre: Flufffffff

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.4k +

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The stories say on your 17th birthday, you're one step closer to finding your soulmate. You will begin to notice a tattoo take its form and only your soulmate possesses the copy. They can range from any size, color, and pattern, and could possibly change once you have met them but that case is very rare. It's become much easier as the years go on and social media becomes more popular, pictures are uploaded 24/7 making the search a bit more bearable. Then there are people like me that choose to let time take its course. Believe me, I get curious every once and a while but I'm not in any hurry. The day I turned 17 wasn't a day I was looking forward to. All everyone seems to care about anymore is finding their special person but there is so much more to live for. I was actually very pleased with my piece though. Yin and Yang. Dark and light. Simple, yes, but my light carried thin brush strokes of crimson and tangerine, while my dark looked like a messy brush stroke as if the zigzag scribbles were enough to cover the Yin next to the Yang. Messy, but simple, it fit me.

As the next few years go on, all my friends have found their S/O after hours of browsing the web, I, on the other hand, have traveled around the world, adding a new tattoo to commemorate my adventures. I saunter down the hall of my apartment towards my front door, making sure I have everything I need.

"Headphones, check. Wallet, check. Water, check. Keys...." I look towards the wall by the front door and grab them from their place on the hook. "Check." I slip on my shoes then head out the door, skipping through the lobby and out the main doors.

Today marks a year since I've moved to South Korea. I wanted a big new change in my life and this vibrant and alive city was calling out my name. From the culture to the food, the sights, to the loving. I decided to get the skyline of the city in a small celebration for this special anniversary. About 6 months ago, a new tattoo/piercing shop opened several blocks into the city, INKredible Tattoos and I've heard nothing but incredible reviews about them. I took a liking to their portfolios and decided I wanted to have them be a part of my adventure piece on my arm. I've made it a goal that I always find a new artist to add to the sleeve piece on my left arm, also adding two decently sized pieces on each thigh and a four leaf clover behind my right ear. My sleeve consists of all the places I've been to, my biggest achievements, my relationships with family and friends, all framing my soulmate tattoo.

Passing the apartment buildings of various colors and structures, the tattoo shop comes into sight, a maroon awning shading the entrance and music playing from the speaker. The bell chimes as I walk into the air-conditioned lobby. The walls are painted the same maroon with gold flakes scattered, mahogany polished flooring with black leather sofas for seating. What caught my eye though was the espresso tinted irises looking in my direction.

"Ah, welcome to INKredible Tattoos. How can I help you today?" The man stepped out from behind the glass case, my eyes falling to the way his dark blue jeans hugged his gorgeously thick thighs. Words got stuck in my throat as the sunlight from the window lit up his profile, showing his sharp jawline and deep set features. His thick chocolate locks fell onto his forehead as he extended his hand out to mine. His olive green t-shirt gripping his biceps,

"I'm sorry, my name is Dean, I'm the owner of this shop."

"Y/N. Pleasure to meet you." My eyes still fixated on his features, a chuckle escaping past his lips.

"The pleasure is mine. What were you thinking about getting today hun?"

"Well, I was thinking about getting the skyline of Seoul on my left arm here by my shou— "

"Dean!" A voice yelled, "Did you happen to—oh..." Another guy appeared in my vision, one that is a little more eccentric than Dean. His black teal tinted curls bounced as he took the space next to Dean, mahogany vortexes took me by surprise, just as much as the silver ball of his labret piercing, "What's a cute girl like you doing in a place like this? Thinking about getting a piercing from the one and only me?" He pointed at himself, my eyes catching the sling of his chest peeking out of his semi buttoned-up red, blue, and white shirt.

"Knock it off Mino, she's here for a tattoo." Dean hissed and Mino slid his hands into his dark jeans. His plush pink lips formed a pout that seemed too cute for his sultry features. I chuckle from his reaction, easing the tension, a slight smirk making itself apparent in the corner of Mino's lips.

"Hey Christian! We have a new canvas!" Mino gruffed and a guy with curly obsidian hair made his way down the hall. Clinging to his body was a gray short sleeved button down shirt, accentuating his muscular biceps, black ink art spilling down his left arm.

"Is that so, what made you decide to come here?" His thick Australian accent stunned me as he approached me, his warm skin soaked in the sunlight as well as his caramel irises turning a warm honey.

"6 months ago I heard the buzz about your shop from a friend so I decided to check out your website and admired everyone's portfolios. The different techniques from each of you are outstanding, but one in particular really captured my interest. I believe his name is Oh Sehun."

"Well, you happen to be in luck today, he's in the back room." As I followed Christian down the hall, bright red hair caught my attention. My feet stopped at one of the rooms, my eyes viewing the tattoo artist; his eyes focused on the customer's piece, the buzz of the tattoo machine at work. He pulled away from the skin, his hand grabbing the clean paper towel from his slender leg. His maroon sleeves are pushed up, showing the ink on his arm; I leaned against the door frame trying to see his features, but his red hair blocked them, "Y/N, what are you waiting for?" Christian's voice bringing me back to reality, my feet pulling me from the door to a few rooms further, "Get your guns ready, master. You've got an admirer." Christian moved to the side of the door to let me by. My heart stopped as my eyes fell on to the man sitting in the chair. His dark almond irises met with mine, the words I tried to speak stuck in my throat.

"Awesome, what'sypur name love?"

"Y/N." Even his voice has me weak. He rolled back in his chair, his shirt revealing his toned chest making my heart race,

”Go ahead and sit in the chair for me." His eyes watched me, his soft brown hair falling into his face, "What are we thinking about creating today?"

“The skyline of Seoul. I wanted to get a piece to commemorate a whole year here. It's an early birthday gift for myself and I figured now was better than never."

"We going with the black silhouette?"He rolls over in the chair next to me, the close presence sending a chill down my spine. What has come over me?

"Yes, I was thinking about getting it right here by my shoulder."

"Alright. I'm going to trace out the stencil and place it to see if you like the spot." Sehun saunters over to the light table, giving light instructions to Christian to get the necessary equipment ready. My eyes can't help but wander around the room, Sehun's work framed on the walls, his technique so effortless. My gaze lands back on Sehun at the table, his honey-like skin glowing under the soft lighting from the table.

"He's stunning isn't he?" Christian lightly whispered causing me to jump a bit in my seat.

"What? I mean...I wasn't..?"

"It’s okay love, most clients end up staring at one point or another after walking through the door." He winked with a light smirk he wondered over to Sehun to let him know the station was ready to go.

"How does this look?" Sehun rolls over to me with the stencil in hand, a black silhouette of the skyline of Seoul perfectly etched out on the tracing paper with carbon ink.

"Perfect, it's exactly what I want."

"Excellent, I'll just place it to get the right spot then we'll get started." His soft smile had my heart skipping a beat, his hands gently laid the paper against my left arm just below my shoulder at the top of my inked sleeve. His digits brushing over my skin with a feather-like touch while smoothing out the edges of the paper.

"Still looking good?" I looked into the hand mirror he held up so I can view the placement, nodding to let him know it was great where it was,

"Let's get started then, Christian you mind helping Dean out for right now since this shouldn't take too long." Christian saluted for his departure, closing the door on the way out. One of my favorite sounds fills the room as the tattoo gun comes to life, "So what's your story behind your sleeve love?"

"I have this goal for myself actually. I try to go on adventures and try new things as much as I can, when I accomplish this, I add a new piece to my sleeve. I've been adventuring since I turned 17. It hasn't been easy with everyone telling me that I won't get far if I don't have my soulmate by my side."

"I never understood why finding our soulmates was a priority. I don't need someone to make a living in life."

"Thank you! Finally, I met someone that feels the same way I do. I also started getting more pieces so people around me would stop harassing me about their soulmates." A light chuckle came from the man sitting in front of me, the corner of his lips turning into a smirk. That sound. Might just become my new favorite. What has come over me today? He's just a guy. He's just my tattoo artist.

"I'm gonna need you to turn your arm a slight bit here so I can finish it up." As I turn my arm, I noticed the machine stop buzzing, his features falling blank.

"Is there something wrong?" He furrowed his brow, struggling to find the right words as started up the machine again.

"Uh.. sor— sorry, I was just amazed by all the achievements you've made. You've done so much it seems, more than anyone I know." Is that really what caused him to stop? Nobody has done that before… I wonder—no… he can't be. There's no way.

"What got you into the tattooing business?"

"Well since I can remember, I've had a love for the art form, wasn't until I got my first tattoo that I actually started learning. Once I got used to the machine and practiced a lot with my teacher, I did my first tattoo on Dean. We've been close since that day. When he asked me to be a member of his new parlor, I was so ecstatic to finally have my dream job." The genuine smile he displayed showed the deep passion he has for this line of work.

"You're family must be really proud of you. Following your dreams and goals."

"Actually, they just wanted me to find my soulmate just like everyone else."

"I'm sorry, Sehun... I didn't me—"

"It's okay love, I've had plenty of time to get over it. Like you, it's not the most important adventure in my life. Although, I'm open to the idea as of lately." Why did those few words seem to punch me in the chest... I shouldn't feel this way for someone I just met.

"I hope you find your special someone Sehun. You seem like a great guy."

"Thank you Y/N, but I have a feeling I won't have too much trouble."

"How optimistic. Good quality to have in life."

"Alright, you're all finished hun, I hope you like it." He lifts up the hand mirror once again so I can see the finished piece. He ended up adding two birds flying above the skyline, adding onto the beautiful silhouette.

"I adore it Sehun, thank you so much. It means a great deal to me."

"Anytime, you ever feel like getting another piece in the future while you're around, I would love to be the artist." Seeing his full smile caused a blush to spread over my cheekbones. Oh God, please don't notice. He took the latex gloves off as we made our way to the door, entering the hall,

"So how are we paying today?"

"Card is fine." I reached into my pocket to pull out my card, only to see Sehun's hand laying on the counter. My heart started to pound in my chest at the replica to my soulmate piece, but in blue. Blinking a couple of times to make sure my mind wasn't playing tricks on me, the color started to change into a mauve. I look down at mine to see the tangerine shade fade into the same mauve color.

"How about a date instead?" I thought I was blushing before— boy, earlier couldn't come close to comparison. Whistles, hollers, and claps filled the space around the lobby causing a chuckle to fall past Sehun's lips as his friends applauded the long-awaited moment.

"I was beginning to wonder how long it would take for one of you to notice. I happened to see your tattoo as you explained your story, the funny part was that you were automatically drawn to his work, I didn't need to intervene." Dean explained as he high fived Christian and the red-haired man from the other room.

"Bout damn time there man, I was starting to think you were never going to find the one. By the way, my names Kwon Jiyong, but you can call me G-Dragon."

"Nice to meet you." We shook hands before he leaned down to lightly kiss the top of my hand, letting go to ruffle Sehun's hair.

"So what do you say, love? Mind if I show off your beauty to my city?"

"As long as it's you by my side, I'll go anywhere."

[internethorrorfan]

Commentarypasta: A Meet I'll Never Forget (originally posted on Deviantart in 2017)

The creepypasta fandom is known being particularly cringeworthy. From all the terrible OCs out there to the lame music videos to the frankly pathetic film attempts to, of course, the fanfiction. So boils and ghouls, allow me to introduce you to something I like to call: Commentarypasta! In Commentarypasta I'll take a look at some of the worst stories the CP fandom has to offer in order to find one that's even remotely entertaining while I give my commentary on the . Most of them will come from Wattpad but this particular tale came to us from some site called Creepypasta.xyz. I've never heard of it either. Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this story... A Meet I'll Never Forget by Meganthekillerforever. CHAPTER 1: I was sitting in my room reading Creepypastas online. I'm sorry, who are you? Could we get some establishing please? I love all of the Creepypasta stories, including Jeff, Slendy, Slenderman doesn't have an official creepypasta since he wasn't created for creepypasta.  Ticci Toby, and more. I was always bad at acting good. Spoilers: This fact is never mentioned again and has no relevance to anything at all. I hated my neighbors Why? For what reason? Who the hell are your neighbors and why should we care? We don't even know our protagonist's name and your telling us about her neighbors? and hoped Smile Dog would finish them off. You've never read Smile Dog have you? I was always sending a picture of him to them at night, but to my disappointment they called my parents the very next day. My parents didn’t care though, thank goodness for that, and my older brother just ignored me like most brothers do to their younger sisters. They didn’t care what I did. My father was a writer and my mom was an artist. My brother was already making plans to go to college. I'm sure all these things will be entirely relevant pieces of information that will pay off later in the story. One night I decided to go out into the woods to see if I could find Slenderman.( I know…childish right?) Well that was me always trying to prove that they were real. Now, time and time again I tried to see if Ben It's BEN. was real, but when I played Majora’s Mask nothing ever happened to me. That's because he only haunted (past tense) Jadusable's specific copy of Majora's Mask that he got from the Old Man. Jadusable put files from the cartridge into his computer allowing BEN to escape into it, and later Jadusable uploaded footage from the game onto Youtube which allowed BEN to escape into the internet. You must not have paid very close attention to these stories if you're getting all these things wrong. So, I figured that all the Creepypasta stories were fake. I still like to find out for myself though. As I went out the door, You were going out the door? Thanks for establishing that. Can we have some details to anything please? I called to my parents and told them I would be gone for a while. I heard my dad typing away on his typewriter and my mom getting extra paint from the storage closet. “Okay. Be back before breakfast.” “Okay Mom.” I rolled my eyes. We're a paragraph into this thing and I already want our main character to die. This doesn't bode well.

Since my mom is an artist, she always has some extra paint lying around. I grabbed some glow in the dark paint before I left and went outside. I gathered some rocks from the garden and a flashlight from the shed. I felt like someone was watching me, Thanks I thought we could use some more clichés. so I shone the flashlight in the darkest parts of the shed just to be sure. I grabbed the glow in the dark paint and started painting the rocks with it. When I was sure they were dry I gathered them in a bag and set off for the woods. Oh that's the pay off to her mom being an artist! So our still nameless protagonist could paint rocks with glow in the dark paint and light her lay through the woods. Or, you know, she could have only used the flashlight. As I made my way into the woods, I started setting down glow in the dark rocks. You've got a flashlight, you don't need the rocks.  I continued to explore until I found a large flat rock that I made into a resting place. I was getting tired. "I'm so exhausted from all the nothing I've been doing!" “I guess there’s no harm in resting for a few minutes.” Just go home. As I started to doze off, a rustling noise woke me up. I darted straight up and looked at my watch. “Oh no! I was planning on being home an hour ago! I lost track of time!” Which is why you should have just gone home instead of randomly taking a nap on a rock. The rustling continued as I started back on the path of rocks. I started to grow fearful as the rustling noise got louder and closer. I always keep a pocket knife with me at all times. Why? I pulled it out and turned around ready to confront whoever it was, but when I turned around I found none other than Slenderman himself. As I stared, I found that there was someone behind him, no two people. A man in a white hoodie and a man in a black hoodie wearing a blue mask. So Slenderman gets no description but Jeff and Eyeless Jack do? Consistency: it's not a polite suggestion. I had come face to face with Slendy, Quit calling him Slendy. Jeff, and Eyeless Jack! I was so shocked that I was at a loss for words. That's it? She doesn't shiver, shake, try to run away, use the knife to defend herself or anything? She's just at a loss for words?  Being at a loss for words is the reaction you get after reading fics like this, not after coming across several supposedly fictional monsters/killers. Finally after a while, Jeff spoke. “As you probably already know my name is Jeff, Jeff the Killer.” What person talks this way? "Oh hi my name is Martin, Martin the janitor. How are you?". I nodded, still not being able to say anything. “This here’s Slenderman and that’s Eyeless Jack.” I finally work up the nerve to speak. “W-what brings y-you to me?” That's your first response? Not asking "how are you real?" or better yet, running away in terror? This time Eyeless Jack speaks. “Well, we’ve been watching you for a while now.” Because....? “Why me?” Good question. “Slendy here thinks you’d make a good proxy. What has this girl possibly done to make Slenderman think she'd be a good proxy? Did she win him over with her amazing one of a kind ability to read horror stories on the internet? Me on the other hand thinks you look kinda weak. Jeff’s thinking the same thing.” “W-why would you want me? I’ve never killed anyone.” Every person that thinks creepypasta is just about killing people needs to be lobotomized. "Jeff spoke up. “Well, I guess that’s going to change tonight.” Jeff smiled wider than usual. As I just stood there dumbfounded Jeff started to lead me in a direction I knew well, back to my house. “You’re seriously not going to make me kill my family are you!?” No one's said anything remotely like that yet so unless nameless girl here can predict the future there's no way she could have known that they'll say that. Jeff started laughing. “You’ve read all of our stories haven’t you? How can creepypasta be a thing in this universe if all the popular creepypasta characters are real? They can't be fake and real at the same time. Well, in most of them our parents are either killed by us or something else. Spoilers: Jeff is the only character featured in this story that killed his parents. In order for you to become one of us, Creepypastas are stories not beings. Plus why do they want nameless protagonist to join them anyway? you have to get them outta the way.” Spoilers: Sally's in this story and Bloody Painter is mentioned. Both those characters have living parents. Is the author seriously under the impression that every creepypasta ever has dead parents in them? “And if I refuse?” “Well, now that you’ve seen us we’re probably going to kill you if you refuse.” Probably? “I-I’ll do it. WHAT?!? Are you kidding me? It takes that little to convince her to murder her family? Them saying they'd probably kill her instead? You wouldn't just straight up kill your parents with no second thoughts because someone said they'd kill you if you didn't. What about my brother?” “We kill him too of course! No witnesses.” He's not a witness if he doesn't see anything. I dread every step on the way back to my house. I enter the house silently, as to not alert them. I make my way into the kitchen and grab a steak knife. They're not around to see you do this. You could just warn them all and get the hell outta there. What happened to that knife you already had? My parents are usually in the study room working. I crept into the study hiding the knife behind my back. “Hey sweetie, back already?” "Hey sweetie, what is that knife shaped object you holding behind your back? You better not be trying to murder us again young lady!" I continued stepping closer gripping the knife hard behind my back. “Yep, I’m back.” Finally, when I was close enough to them I lunged at them with the knife and stabbed repeatedly. Because she'd definitely be able to do that with no effort at all. They twitched for a moment, but then they were still. I was wide eyed and gasping for breath when I finished. I heard clapping behind me. Jeff was standing there. “Very well done. Slendy didn’t even have to get into your mind like he did Toby.” “That…actually felt good. Yeah, let's do what the creepypasta fandom does best: glorify the murder of innocent people! What, you're not going to tell us about the "rush" you get from killing or how fun and exciting it is? What about my brother?” “I took care of him. I haven’t killed in a whole day and I was itching to kill someone.” I just watched my parent’s lifeless bodies for a while before Slenderman came to get me. This character has shown no previous signs of sociopathic personality disorder, psychopathy, psychosis, or any other mental disorder that might possibly make her Ok with killing people.  She shouldn't be so nonchalant about everything. Since he didn’t have a face he didn’t talk much. I don't even need to point out why this line is moronic do I? Slenderman beckoned for me to follow. I followed him outside where Jeff and Eyeless Jack were waiting. “Well kid, welcome to the family.” CHAPTER 2: After I killed my family, After that minor insignificant easily forgotten event of stabbing my parents to death with a steak knife. Slendy teleported us to what looked like an old, run down mansion. I stared in disbelief at the beautiful mansion. The last sentence said it was old and run down. Now it's beautiful? OK then. “I thought the mansion was just a legend!” Jeff started speaking. “Nope, it’s real kid.” They led me into the mansion where the other pastas were waiting. What other pastas? You gonna tell us who they are? They all looked at me and stared. I started to get nervous with all the attention on me. A boy I knew to be Ben BEN's a statue in a video game, not a "boy". started asking questions. “Who’s that? Why have you brought a human here? Jeff is human. So are Bloody Painter, Hoodie and Masky, all of whom are mentioned later in the story (spoilers like you care at all). Does she like games?” Will this fandom ever realize Pasta Monsters is not an accurate representation of who BEN is? Seriously. Eyeless Jack interrupted his questions. “This is a new edition to the family. If you have any questions about her, ask her yourself.” They started crowding around me with questions. Because you're just so likable and interesting that of course these people would bombard you with questions the first second they lay eyes upon you. Thanks a lot EJ. I’m not the type of person who loves crowds. Your whole family was just murdered, two of them by your own hand, and a minute later you're in a mansion in the woods with a bunch of monsters, serial killers, supernatural beings and other horror characters you previously thought to be fictional. Stop acting like this is completely normal. “SIT DOWN AND RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION!” I was screaming at the top of my lungs. They all sat back down and raised their hands hesitantly. Because again, you're just so likable and interesting that they have no choice but to listen to someone they've never met before. “Ben.” “Do you like games?” “I love games Ben.” “How do you know my name?” I had forgotten to tell them that I’ve read all of their stories and seen pictures of them online. “Oh yeah. I forgot to mention that I’ve read all of your stories.” Ha ha no you haven't. They were very surprised. To learn that people have written stories about them. I'd be surprised. Sally spoke up. “All of them?” I thought she was cute. It was hard to imagine an 8 year old girl as a killer. That's because she's not a killer. Good God people it takes five minutes to search up her old ref sheet with all her info on it. But to save anyone the trouble here it is: Sally - Official Profile. “Yes Sally, even yours.” I smiled at her. She smiled back at me. Because of course Sally and our protagonist instantly get attached to one another and become inseperable best friends/family figures to each other. How else are we going to lazily boost our protagonist's ego and get the reader to like her? “Yes, Offenderman.” Offenderman didn't say anything. Also why is a rapist part of the quote unquote "family"? Especially with Sally around. Offenderman smirked and pulled out a rose. “Would you like a rose?” He extended it out to me. “Nope.” “But, why!?” “Because like I just said, I’ve read all of your stories. I know what happens when you give a rose to someone.” Offenderman frowned and mumbled under his breath. The others laughed. “ The sex offender doesn't get to rape anyone today! So funny! Betcha Sally really got a kick outta that one! Okay who’s next?” “Ooh me! Me!” Jeff practically yelled. How does one "practically" yell something? I laughed at his persistence. “Yes, Jeff.” “Do you like knives? And what is your opinion on killing?” Not every creepypasta OC is a killer or needs to kill. Nobody died in Ben Drowned and there was never any danger of anyone dying. At least not from BEN physically killing them. “If I had to choose a weapon, I would definitely choose a knife. My second choice would be a pistol. As for killing, I don’t really mind it, especially when they deserve it.” Oh piss off. The only people you've killed are your parents who you only killed because this story is lazy and stupid. You are in absolutely no position whatsoever to be giving an opinon on murder or what your preferred weapons are. Hoodie seemed to be satisfied that my second option would be a pistol. You're dead Brian. “LJ.” LJ laughed and stood up. “Do you like candy?” I should have known that was coming. No you shouldn't have because Laughing Jack is capable of thinking about things that aren't candy. “Yes LJ, I love candy.” “Would you like some candy?” “No thank you. Polite pass.” LJ looked kind of hurt when I declined, but he tried to hide it with a smile. I felt bad for declining it, but I still didn’t fully trust them yet. I wanted to get to know them first before I accepted anything from them. You murdered your own parents in cold blood to join them. You don't get to be weary around them. I must have zoned out, Thinking about what? How uneventful everything is? because Jeff was waving his hand in front of my face trying to get my attention. “Hello? Anyone in there?” Oh! I’m sorry. I guess I just spaced out.” EJ decided that was enough questions. “Alright, I think that’s enough questions for today.” I was getting very tired. I yawned loudly and rubbed my eyes. Everyone turned to look at me. Everyone was wondering where I would sleep. Why does anyone care? Sally spoke up with excitement in her voice. Much like us, Sally knows absolutely nothing at all about our main character so she has no reason to give a damn about her at all. Sally's an attention seeking prankster who gets jealous easily and cries and throws tantrums every time she doesn't get her way. She'd be one of the people most against a new person, not most for. “She can sleep in my room! I have an extra bed in there.” Because as we all know, ghosts need to sleep. All the others agreed. Masky Hey Tim how's it goin'? Still not a creepypasta character? Sounds great. spoke up this time. “Yeah, just until we get a room fixed up for her.”  Because Mary Sue sure does deserve a room all to herself. Why doesn't she share a room with Sally permanently? “Thank you Sally. I’m very grateful.” I was relieved somewhat, because I didn’t want to be rude. I still didn’t trust them yet. You already said that. I followed Sally to her room. Her door was decorated with bloody pink flowers. When we got inside the room, I saw that her walls were a pale pink with blood splatters. Because an 8 year old girl who likes stuffed animals, tea parties, cute things and stereotypical "girly" stuff would obviously decorate their room with blood splatters. You still sure you've read all their stories, miss Thekillerforever? Plus blood smells. Hanging on her walls were many drawn pictures of the Creepypasta family. WHAT CREEPYPASTA FAMILY?!? You've told us nothing about this supposed "family" or what characters are a part of it! We know Masky, Hoodie, Slenderman, Jeff, EJ, LJ, Sally, BEN, and Offenderman but that's because you just plopped them into this story with no set up at all! We don't know who's part of the family! Quit acting like we do! And where is Toby? This story's referenced him twice now and he hasn't shown up! She was a very good artist for an 8 year old. “You’re a very good artist. Those pictures are amazing!” I don't think many 8 year olds are"very good" artists. But this is a crepypasta fanfiction so Sally has to be portrayed as an absolutely perfect flawless shining paragon of humanity that always gets what she wants and is instantly loved by every life form on Earth because she's just so "cute". Our main character's already a Sue, we don't need you to change other people's characters into Sues too. Sally smiled at my words. “Thank you. I’m not as good as Bloody Painter Because she would obviously refer to Helen by his serial killer alias instead of his actual real name. though. He’s the best artist here. Here’s the bed you will be sleeping on. Why does Sally even have one bed, let alone two? I’m so happy to have someone sleeping in my room with me! The only one who comes over sometimes is Lazari.” Who I'm sure this author know nothing about. Given the track record so far I wouldn't be surprised if the author thought 8 year old Lazari murdered innocent people with knives for the lolz. I feel bad for Sally. It must get so lonely in here by herself. Out of these retarded Slender Mansion stories, THIS is the one that figures out a little kid living in a gigantic mansion with almost exclusively grown men would get lonely? “After my room is finished I could sleep over sometimes.” You're sleeping in her room now. What are you talking about? Sally smiled and looked at me with hope in her eyes. “Really?” YOU JUST MET THIS PERSON, YOU SHOULD NOT BE THIS ATTACHED! “Really.” “And will you play with me?” I smiled warmly at her. “Absolutely.” YOU JUST MET THIS PERSON SO YOU SHOULDN'T BE THIS ATTACHED EITHER! And if you two are this attached already, why not just share the room permanently? She jumped up and down with excitement. Can ghosts jump? “Yay! I can’t wait!” “Would you like me to tuck you in and read you a story Sally?” No she wouldn't like you to tuck her in because she's a ghost and ghosts can't sleep. Who said she wanted to go to bed anyway? “Yes please! I would like to listen to a story about your family if you don’t mind.” "You know, that family you murdered an hour ago with no remorse or guilt whatsoever?" “It’s fine. "I've already completely forgotten about stabbing them to death, almost like it was pointless or something!" I’ll tell you about the time we got a puppy.” Sally eagerly got into her bed. Which she probably doesn't need since she has no physical body. “I love puppies! They’re so cute.” This chapter started off with the line "after I killed my family". “One day I was sitting in my room playing with my dolls How old were you when this happened? Scratch that, how old are you now? and my parents were excited about something. I walked out of my room to my parents’ room You could have just said "I walked to my parent's room." because you already said you were in your room, we can tell that you walked out through context clues.  to see what they were talking about. When I asked them, they both shouted that we were getting a puppy. I was so happy I ran around the house squealing with excitement. My parents would have straight up told me I wasn't getting anything if I kept running around the house squealing. My parents decided to let me pick the dog. I ran into the pet store checking out all of the dogs. I set my sights on the cutest chocolate brown puppy with short floppy ears. He had the most beautiful brown eyes. And he was just as sweet as can be. This is a fanfiction based off creepypasta, a genre of internet horror stories frequently about madness, tradgedy and the terrors of the unknown, and the second chapter is concluding...with our main character telling bedtime stories about cute puppies to a little girl. Wow. We decided from that day, to call him Brownie.” Where's Brownie now? Given the level of intelligence you've displayed in this I wouldn't be surprised if you ate him thinking he was an actual brownie. When I finished my story, That wasn't about your family at all. I looked over to find Sally fast asleep. I ask this question a lot regarding fanfictions with Sally in them but does this author even know Sally is a ghost? Or does she somehow think ghosts can sleep? If these stories ever offered an explanation as to how Sally can do these things that'd be fine. But they never do so it doesn't make any sense. I chuckled and got into my own bed. I had one last thought as I fell asleep, ‘I wonder what tomorrow will bring.’ Nothing because this story was deleted by the author. Thank God. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well that was dull and uneventful. This story's only two chapters long but those two chapters are some of the most boring things I've ever read in my life. Pretty much nothing at all happened in them other than our bland unnamed protagonist murdering her family for pretty much no reason, but that's almost immediately glossed over and swept under the rug to get to more pressing matters like telling bedtime stories about cute puppies. Our main character is such an obvious self insert Mary Sue and she doesn't even get the luxury of a name let alone a personality. The closest thing I got out of her character was stupidity but that's only because the writing was so botched it made her look like an airhead who was completely unaffected by everything around her. "A Meet I'll Never Forget" feels like it was written by a 10 year old due to the almost complete lack of detail to anything. As of this writing the story's been deleted so this is the only place to find it. So with this story out of the way join me next time for...something less boring and forgettable.