#every time i feel like i’m going too far off the deep end sth like this happens and then i’m reassured that we’re not crazy

[daisyswift3]

WAITTTTT A MINUTE. THE SNAKE IN THE BOX 😳 GINGER ANON WAS RIGHT AGAIN

The way she reaches her hand in and then pulls it out really fast as if she was bitten by a snake. Yet another intentional glitch!!

(x)

(x)

[midnight-ramblingswfc]

I am not a fan of canada, but I think some ppl are taking things too far. Like you want to put a death penalty for someone who stole an apple. Yes, they cheated, but they got punished rather harshily. It's not like some players doped or sth and like Drogba interviewed, a drone footage won't change the outcome of the game... also it's an old secret everyone try to spy their opponent (maybe not by flying a drone but everyone has their own means). I personally thought a forfeit of NZ game was the right call. FIFA instead went with -6 deduction which put France and Columbia on an advantage, rather than NZ (I feel sorry for NZ for that).

Canada coaching staff and the association can go fuck themselves for screwing everyone but I feel for canadian players. It's not like you ask your coach where is your tactic from. Questioning your coach? good luck with that. I truly think these hardworking players got betrayed as well and they are being called cheaters by rest of the world - for how long I don't know maybe for rest of their life - for things you didn't do. If I were these players, I'd want to punch the coach in the face.

That being said, I expected this France vs Canada game go one-sided, with canadians with some deep-shit mental states (who wouldn't?). I was half-expecting canadians to walk away because they basically DQ'd with these points deduction. However they showed some resilence and I was moved by their emotions after the victory.

I don't see canada will win a medal anyways even if they make to a knockout stage. They are not that strong team to begin with. I won't particulary cheer for them but I do feel for these players and respect them for what they showed today.

I like the players but as a nation I’m neither a fan or not. But yes definitely some people are definitely taking it too far and wanting outrages punishments and being way too hateful towards the players. But unfortunately the punishment should be harsh for cheating cause even if everyone does it it’s still against the rules.

But for the punishment for just this NZ match cheating yes either the forfeit of that game or a disqualification would have made more sense. And then after a proper investigation into the rest of the allegations other punishments could be discussed for those infractions.

It’s sad that it’s the players that will face the consequences for something they weren’t a part of, but in the end still had some sort of benefit from. And as you say they aren’t gonna just question their coach, a lot of that relationship is build on blind faith. I agree as no evidence has come out that they had any knowledge about the cheating they’re probably the ones most fucked over by this. The reckless selfish actions of those that did cheat has drug the entire team down with them and basically made the world question their integrity/character and made them the butt of every joke for a long time. The damage will extend father than just the players in France in the moment. Everything Canada footballer has done and everything they and future players will do will be marked by this.

If I were them too I’d wanna punch those responsible for that.

I did expect Canada to lose too. And oh yeah I’d be so stressed and pissed if I were in their position and someone had just destroyed everything I’d spent years building.

I love their resilience and will to prove themselves and I especially were moved by the interviews after the match so I’m kinda off two minds of how well I want them to do lol.

It’s such a muddied situation because on one side there should be an adequate punishment but on the other side the punishment will have the biggest effect on the players because you can’t punish the coaches without punishing the team. So how do you balance that? And maybe because I’m in general is an emotional person I’d have a hard time finding a punishment that would fit and be fair

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep 8 (part 1)

“ I hate myself, so much, so intensely, so completely, I wish I just go away, disappear for good, & yet in the end, I always protect myself, instead of taking responsibility, I run away every damn time, like now, I’m too scared to even look at your face”. The real kyo under the layers of trauma.

This quotation is why this ep is not abt romance. Instead it is abt: Extreme self-loath, faulty coping mechanism, self-awareness & inability to make correct decisions due to suicidal thoughts & non-existent self-worth.  

This is a guy who’s literally seen death TWICE at the age of 4 & 15 (his mom & kyoko), is trying to avoid the THIRD (tohru’s) & is questioning why the FOURTH isnt happening (his own death).

-The layers of a broken self: Excellent writing:

I applaud the writer for choosing fitting methods to portray her characters’ own trauma. Yuki “ prince” mask & tohru’s “i’m okay” mask were fitting to hide their trauma & uncover the real personalities. However, since kyo would be the character to hide secrets & carry guilt, the viewers need to feel he’s hiding sth w/o knowing what it is. It was done cleverly to (a) tie the plot together, (b) build kyo’s character, (c) fit the climax, (d) suit his trauma of severe guilt & self-loath. Some of the things he does can fit two genuine layers: Both layers are true:

His initial refusal to open up to tohru in early se01. (Surface layer): he doesn't know how to interact with ppl who accept him as he confessed to shigure, (Deeper layer): he avoided tohru cuz he knew her!

He initially refused to join leisure activities & trips: hot spring & kyoto trip (Surface layer): he didn’t want to go with yuki (Deeper layer) he didnt want to spend time with tohru as he was unconsciously feeling that he’s stealing from her.

It killed him to see her true lonely self behind her fake mask & approached her with advice. se1, ep5 (grandpa house), se1, ep23 (sick tohru), se2, ep 8 (hiro’s remarks) & other instances.  (Surface layer): he was noticing her issues, & genuinely wanted to help her cuz he’s kind (Deeper layer) he was falling in love w/her & unconsciously wanted her to be happy with HIM.

There were times when there was ONE layer, such as: kyoko’s 1st grave visit. He was so off, rigid, unresponsive, & completely shut down. Everybody read him. Yuki, tohru, Arisa & hana. they just don’t know why he behaving like that. his trauma manifested itself deeply that he apologized to tohru in her sleep cuz he was “ too scared to even look at your face”.

- Kyo’s trauma takes physical shape: (Clutching his heart: PAIN, clutching his stomach : DISGUST) :

While confessing to tohru, kyo’s features spoke volumes. You can see disrepair, guilt, broken soul, sadness & surrender. His body reflected his emotions:

wide eyes (disbelief), Cat eyes (utter fear)

trembling body (overwhelmed with toxic emotions)

clutching his fists (anger at self) , opening fists (surrender to darkness)

hand covering face (shame), Hand around neck as he finished confessing abt kyoko & yuki (desire for death: the final judgement)

The most focused physical appearance was his fist clutching his heart: he was in so much pain as he narrated how he loved kyoko & found a friend in her, desired to make her happy, to find tohru for her, how his his mom withered away out of fear of him & how pitiful & sad he felt towards tohru for loving someone like him. It broke his heart to see them all suffer after knowing him. All the love he felt for them squeezed his heart tight, he wanted to pull it & rip it away. Above all, he was sad to loose them all. Sad he can’t be wit them.

Then he clutched his stomach: representing the pure disgust he felt at himself. As he realized that there is no escape from being responsible for their death, as he admitted he illogically blamed yuki, his disgust with himself boiled in his stomach. What kind of disgusting horrible person does that? blame someone illogically? I’m horrible, hateful & utterly undeserving to be forgiven. Being disgusted with one’s own self! oof! it was so well-done with animation!

-Tying Mature Themes with Child Trauma:

Through kyo’s story, there were different mature themes that excellently dictate his behavior, mentality & emotional well-being: Excellent writing!

(1) The desperate need for self-worth: To be good for once!

by constantly destroying his self-worth thro contempt (the sohmas), rejection (his mom), hate (his father), pity (kazuma/ kagura, initially), kyo searched for an outlet to be a worthy human. Someone who deserves to be loved for who he is. He found that in kyoko. It is brilliant that kyo didn’t look for a mom in kyoko. He called her “ old hag”, she told him unflattering facts abt herself “ neglecting her daughter”. she was his first real friend. He found comfort being with her. He wanted to return the intimate feeling he felt deep down, kyo is so hung up on giving as much as taking as it contradicts the notion of pity. The opportunity came! Helping her find her daughter! being someone who does good! Return the daughter & feel worthy of being a true friend, a man (aka a person). “ i’ll help her, I’ll protect her for sure! it’s a man’s promise” The promise in its core is abt kyo wanting to be a person. Not a monster, or a cat. A true real boy. Away from all the toxic past emotions. Being a man: means being a big boy (person) with good achievements! All this shattered when a better boy beats him to it. The boy who was always praised, loved & respected! kyo’s self-worth diminished greatly & all the toxic emotions came back!

(2) The downfall of faulty coping mechanism: Creating a Bad Guy:

I stated before that one of my fave scenes of kyo was in se02, ep23 when kyo lashed out at yuki on the stairs upon seeing the hat & how yuki felt nothing but pity towards kyo as he was stuck in the past while yuki moved on. Brilliant scene that explains why one moved on & the other didn;t. Yuki’s faulty coping mechanism was being withdrawn & shutting himself. This coping mechanism didnt make him feel better at all!!! Also, he doesn’t have regrets nor sins, he dealt with his faulty coping mechanism with tohru’s help & the school council & healed gradually. Forever loving the writer for writing the distinction between kyo & yuki logically without painting any as monster in reality. Kyo couldn’t do as yuki for the following reasons: ( remember the old theme of everybody heals on their own pace? love it )

(a) He was addicted to shifting the blame as it made him feel better abt himself!! he shifted his thoughts from “ I wanna go away for good” “ mom, why didn’t you kill me instead” to “ it’s not my fault at all, it’s yuki” No match between the two feelings! one leads to suicide, the other leads to feeling like a mere victim. The two feelings are wrong tho & He knows that! he isn’t ready to stop the drug. He can’t face himself. “ the bad guy, if he isn’t as awful as you think, who you’re left to blame”.

(b) nothing around him can make him feel better. Tohru? but she’s kyoko’s daughter! she’s a lonely orphan, carrying her mommy’s pic taking to it! why? cuz you didn't save her! Loving tohru? is good & I wish we can run away far & be together always! wake up! why would she wanna be with a disgusting monster like you?!! You dont deserve her! you who caused his mom to die, caused her mom to die, blamed an innocent guy! Yuki? yeah, look at yuki, you can never be like him, watch as his true kindness gets noticed by tohru, the school & everybody!! he’s everything you cant be!! he should be with tohru! not you!! Master kazuma? poor guy! you brought him nothing but misery! you see his sad smile, don’t you? he’s disappoint in you. Kagura? she pities you!

(b) Kyo can’t fix his mistakes. kyo watched as yuki got back with his brother, befriended haru again, goes back to the sohma estate for the holidays. he feels he cant have similar reweds as he cant bring the things he needed. his mom, kyoko, his bio dad’s affection, kazuma’s pride in him, tohru’s love & his own satisfaction at himself. kyo just hates kyo “so much, so intensely, so completely”

(c) his fault coping mechanism mirrors his dad’s. Kids pick up toxic habits from parents all the time. Even his suicidal thoughts mirrors his mom’s! brilliant writing!

3- running away from responsibilities: perfectly constructed theme!

Who didn’t? I’m guilty! ugh! one of the best themes in furuba hands down! Any other writer would have made kyo do it once, or twice & have him face it in climax & then deal with it. but NOT takaya-san! She excellently took her time with kyo repeating this exact mistakes over & over to better portray the theme & take it out from the boundaries of story-telling to realistic depiction & logical gradual progression:

kyo ran away from being accused of killing his mom (he’s completely innocent & isn’t responsible for his birth’s deformity/curse nor his mom’s suicide)

kyo ran away from accepting kyoko’s words that yuki isnt bad & most importantly that kyo is good. He had found relief in blaming yuki, now you wanna tell me I should look into myself? I’m bad! i dont wanna look. your words are weird “ no bad or good”  Everybody says otherwise, the sohmas, dad & mom! kyo angrily ran away (completely guilty but excused as child would be).

kyo ran away from facing kyoko’s body & wanted to punish himself with death. Depression took over him as “ master tried to get me to keep living”. (completely guilty in his own eyes, if only he tried to safe her, even if he transformed, Even if she still died regardless!!! he hates himself for choosing the disgusting kyo over the kind kyoko)

kyo ran away from telling tohru the truth upon seeing her, pretended not to know her, slowly dying each time she smiles, slowly falling in love & wishing for a chance with her, a chance he believes doesn't deserve.

Kyo ran away in se01, ep14 when remembering the accident as shigure  triggered him. Tohru consoled him & he lost the chance to come clean.

kyo is running away now. Unable to face her “ too scared to even look at your face”. “ I cant forgive me! I dont want you to fogive me either”

So, after running away the first time, kyo should’ve learned better, right? now in the climax, he shouldn’t  have run away? Yes, he should. cuz simply, he isnt ready. We dont learn from our mistakes cuz someone told us. we learn when we fix the core issue. A guy who thinks he deserves a chance in life would stand tall, confess his sins, argues, talks, tells the story unbiased,  then waits for verdict. kyo thinks he doesn’t deserve to be alive, thus, tells the story with server bias towards judging himself as unworthy. HE decided the verdict & didnt wait for tohru: “ I cant forgive ME! I dont want you to forgive me either” That’s why toru’s words fall flat. “ why cant you see the truth: I love you” he can’t tohru!! cuz right now it is NOT abt love. It is abt trauma!

4- Sever guilt & desire for disappearance (death):

As adults our mistakes loom over us & we’re constantly reminded of the “ what if I had acted differently”. This ties with kyo witnessing his mom’s horrible death at 4 years old. Death in itself is scary. A loved ones death is devastating. Watching it unfold in shocking unprepared way is destructive. kyo was destroyed. Not enough: he gotta carry the guilt as his dad & the sohma hammer the accusations. He gets another chance & loves another person. Only to watch the blood splash reach his shoes. “Guilty” whispers the past. “Guilty” confirms the present. He stands in front of the most precious person to him. Now what? If tohru forgives you, the pain goes away???? You wouldn’t repeat the ultimate mistake of killing her, would you? you ominous creature. Her mom warned you. The nightmare stands hovering over kyo’s head, waiting to come true. IT WILL COME TRUE!!! OMG!!!

if Akito does it. It wouldn’t be kyo’s fault, right?  If the car hit kyoko, it’s not my fault, right? if my mom did it herself, it wouldn’t be my fault, right?

But if only kyo didnt ran away, tohru would be alive. If only I pulled kyoko, she wouldn’t have died. If only I wasn’t born, mom wouldn't have killed herself.

The “ if only “ that killed kyo’s mom as she lamented “ if only I gave birth to the rat” will eventually destroy kyo! ugh!!! AMAZING WRITING!!!

5- The Right Time to Heal (self-desire or outside help?):

When yuki was trapped in Akito’s room, haru visited to help. did yuki accept it? NO. yuki didnt even remember much of it. Why? cuz it wasn’t the right time & yuki was too deep into darkness to notice, to accept & to change. It wasnt until he was out, in co-ed school, rebelling against akito, when tohru came, he accepted her, then it lead him to accept School Council & haru. Tohru had Arisa & hana, but never went to them in her darkest moment, hiding she was living in a tent, they were hurt & confronted her, still she kept hiding her fears, sadness & darkest thoughts, interfering in Arisa’s life to provide help, but never allowing them to interfere, until kyo came & broke her mask, she started to complain, talk, show true emotions & want things! She opened up to Isuzu, too. Arisa & hana weren’t the right ppl at the right time for tohru to heal. Kyo had kazuma to teach him better, kyoko to make him notice his mistakes, tohru to love him unconditionally, the right ppl, but all that was in the wrong time cuz he’s in his darkest moment now like yuki was, unable to see or accept. Healing requires self-desire & outside help, but it gotta be in the right moment, when you can see beyond the abyss & into the faint light of dawn. That’s when words will reach the heart. Kyo need to fall so hard, in order to stand up again. Today, he unloaded his burden, threw up the disgust he felt towards himself, spewed all the hate against the real bad guy: himself! Kyo is kyo’s bad guy, has always been. He needs to let go of hating himself & accept the kind gentle kyo that kyoko & tohru saw ~

Side Notes:

This ep is why furuba wins & deserves 20 years of recognition among manga-readers! this story is real! it is NO sweet fairy tale of two lovers. It is abt one’s self & desire to live. All of them struggle with  this particular desire: kyo, tohru, yuki & the rest.

kid kyo was looking for young tohru all night! T_T

this ep of kyo confessing/ narrating his past , reminded me of yuki’s 3 eps of him confessing/ narrating his past!!! ugh! I wish tohru had that! ahhhh.

The 4 months in the mountains weren’t training!!!!! they were depression & suicidal thoughts! ouch!!

Perspectives are what dictate our feelings: Through yuki’s eyes, kyo was so happy with a loving father, friends around him & a house outside the sohmas. Thus, yuki envied him & wished to die not knowing kyo was living in trauma & feeling utter contempt & self-loath. Through kyo’s eyes, yuki was so happy with a living loving family, friends around him & a house with respect. Thus, kyo envied him & wished to die Not knowing that yuki was suffering abuse & neglect!

I love the pacing of this ep!!! It gives room to feel pain & understand the situation!!! I didn’t feel the headache of the bullet train!! THANK GOD!!! SO SATISFIED!!! I was invested all the time!

kyoko’s “ I’ll never forgive you” really destroyed kyo & went beyond it to destroy her own daughter! AAAAAAHHHH ~ T_T

I have some issues with the “ I forgot” part. It makes no sense that they make him forget the accident only to do the cheap cliff hanger in ep 6, then lazily weave it into his confession to tohru in ep. 8. He always remembered the accident. Apologized to tohru in her sleep in se01. ep14 for that exact accident, Then in se02, ep 9. It was ALWAYS in his mind! ALWAYS. Sorry Mr. Director. very lame try. lol.

The only thing I didn’t like is the music! very weird choices throughout the ep! especially at the end. Why a happy music over kyo’s “ I’m disappointed in you? lol!! its sad & tragic?! weird!!!!

I will talk abt Tohru will be in part 2. (her choice, kyo’s answer to her & the need to let go of her mom, the sohmas & of... kyo.

[alyblacklist]

Hey!!

I am new to your tumblr but I read your fics all the time (and reread them more often than I should admit lol)

I think you’re really amazing!

I’m so relieved that you answer asks and discuss speculation because I really need someone to talk this through.

So, I have watched a couple of other thriller series along the same lines where the makers don’t have any issues killing off major characters off the show.

There are a couple of things that are happening in this show which I think (and I honest to god hope I’m wrong) are building up to them killing off Ressler.

They get together, they partially admit their feelings (which we’ve been waiting for too Damn long) - so they get closure. Ressler is in the hospital, they show him deteriorating, he goes into v-fib.

And all of this is not that much of a game changer but hear me out. The task force is being dismantled and they need to give the viewers sth that they won’t expect. And bring some new spice in s9. With Liz going full time into crime, it seems a lot easier for them to kill off Ressler.

My only counter debate to my point is that they would have killed him off the moment he got shot (like they did with Meera) rather than show him being treated.

I really need to know what you think. Please tell me he’s not gonna die cause honestly who on earth will watch the show then?

Hi there! I have to say a special thank you to you, @alrightygirl, and to my anon (above) who I have lumped in, for the shoutouts on my stories. I came to Tumblr in the first place during the hiatus between S2/S3 in part because I realized some of my fav fanfic authors (@aussieokie !) were here so I am especially happy to read this.

I'm not sure people realize how much we fanfic writers thrive on feedback, and especially on the multi chapter works we invested so much time into. So thank you, and I have to say I really am looking forward to the end of the season so I can step away from the BTS hunt and my inbox and get back to just creating. Hopefully the writers will leave things in a good place in 8.22 so there's plenty to work with. Ok, on to the substance of your ask and I'll put in a jump because I can already tell this is getting long.

I really do NOT think Ressler will die. I didn't think so before 8x19 and I still don't think so after the "medical drama" of 8x20. Because that's what I think they're doing - they're creating drama because it's the end of the season and they want people freaking out and guessing over who will survive. Call it the curse of cable, or thrillers or whatever, but we as audiences have been conditioned to believe that major characters have to die every year, even if it's pointless.

The thing is, The Blacklist has never been that show. They have killed three "main characters" in the life of the show. Meera in S1 (and I later read Parminder only had a one-year deal), Tom in S5 (with huge fanfare and foreshadowing and an entire "hero" arc following a failed spinoff with a new series eagerly awaiting him at NBC), and Samar in S6 after the actress specifically requested to be released from her contract after S5 and gave them time to write her character an appropriate conclusion arc which also had huge foreshadowing.

Could they go a different route this year? Sure. We're late in the life of the show and twists and cliffhangers and budgets all come into play but the thing is - I just still really don't see it when it comes to Ressler.

For me, the characters' perspective is always paramount. What purpose would Ressler's death serve? It would make Liz more upset (because, you know, Sam, Tom, Katarina, her sister, her whole team weren't enough?). And other than that......?

The audience already knows the gravity of the stakes. So does Liz. So does every other character. The only purpose Ressler's death would serve that I see (and to be clear, I am focusing only on the characters in the show not the irrational fandom hate for his character) is to "punish" Liz more, to make her feel worse about what she's done, to deal another body blow on top of all that she's suffered already.

I don't think Liz needs that. (I'm positive nearly all of Reddit disagrees).

She turned herself in to Cooper because she recognized the bloodshed needed to end after she FEARED losing him. She stayed by Ressler's side and spoke her entire speech in the hearse and by his unconscious side because she can't handle losing him too. This is exactly the scenario the writers teased when Eisendrath teased all those months ago that maybe he would use her feelings for him to get her to come back.

Source (X)

He didn't overtly "use" her feelings in the end because that is not Ressler. He is not that guy. But in the end, her feelings for him were EXACTLY why she turned herself in.

I don't think Liz doesn't need to be punished further or suffer more in anyone's eyes except those who still can't come to terms with her war against Red. I don't think the writers feel that way about her character. To the contrary, they introduced a hallucinated Kaplan to try to give her a pass and also had her give lengthy explanations to both Ressler and Aram defending her behavior. I think from all I have read and seen that the writers view Liz as a victim of circumstances caused by Red - something Cooper has also articulated to Panabaker along the way in defending why Liz has done what she's done under extraordinary circumstances. We can all agree or disagree on the why and the method and the extremes but the bottom line is that I think the writers still view Liz as more "victim" or "forced criminal" than diabolical villain so killing Ressler, on top of everyone else Liz has lost, is just another deep blow on top of all the blows that have turned her into who she is. I think we're past the point that that is necessary and we'll be even further past that point after 8.21/8.22 when Liz learns some truths.

This has gotten crazy long so I'll just add these final thoughts which I have also articulated in prior posts:

- I think if the writers were going to write out Ressler - an original character from the Pilot - they would do so with more hype and fanfare and story than what he's gotten this season. Sure he was present in 8x19 a lot but it was really Liz's story. She was the heroine saving him and moving them from place to place while he suffered. I think the writers have enough respect for Diego to give him at least as much substantial story as Tom and Samar got in their sendoffs if this was really the end. He's a good guy and a good character and he deserves more than for his final moments to be a quiet fade to black in Vfib in a hospital with only Park present (or even Liz present for a final, vague, goodbye). A show that can't do that isn't a show I'm interested in watching, you know?

- his agents congratulated him on the S9 renewal back when it was announced. Hardly an indicator that a major character is getting jettisoned.

-You'd also think, if he was leaving this season, that he'd be doing more to elevate his profile on social media like he did at the end of Homeland to gear up for a new gig. He's done NOTHING.

-Finally, there has been literally nothing in JB's recent interview with The Blacklist Exposed, any of the BTS, the press, the episode descriptions, the crew photos, or anything else to date to indicate that a major actor/character is leaving. I know people can hide the ball but usually in this show, something slips through. So far - nothing. (No, I don't take Megan's thank you's or wrap party photos that way).

Anyway, hopefully we'll all be here at this time next year (or a few weeks earlier if things are back to normal), analyzing S9 and all that has happened. Thanks for the ask!

[angelkurenai]

Lucky idiot - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Lucky idiot

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Summary: Hey sweetheart May I request a DeanxReader Imagine where reader is a mermaid but with a twist?Idk if you know the kids show called 'H2O just add water'But basically reader always turns into a mermaid if she gets into contact with water.And I imagined that reader would rescue dean from drowning after he was pushed off from a cliff by a ghost or sth?Then like thelittle mermaid moment where he sees her face after waking up.Then sam shows up and reader disappears.Then they meet her at a cafe I❤️u

“Look, all I'm saying is if you'd let me drive for this ti-”

“Get back to research, Sammy, I've got enough things on my head. Don't need you to make me more dizzy than I already am.” Dean grumbled before his brother could even get to finish his sentence.

“Which is exactly my point here.” Sam couldn't help but huff “Do you really think it's a good idea to drive while being so dizzy? I mean, for the love of, Dean, you nearly drowned three to four hours ago! Unless you're trying to finish the ghost's job right now, I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, letting me drive would give both of us higher chances of getting out of the car alive.”

“Bold of you to assume that if I let you drive, you'd get out of this car alive.” the older Winchester retorted with a half smile, that didn't feel even half as real though, before focusing as much as he could on the road before him “Besides, I've been more than nearly killed plenty of times and despite the trip to the other side, I was always the one to drive the car. I'm fine, just like every other time, Sammy. Only impatient to get some food. Again nothing new.”

“And that's supposed to calm me down now, or what? Honestly, Dean-” Sam huffed, shaking his head “I can't understand you sometimes. It was pure luck that you even found yourself out of there, alive. I mean, if the fall from that kind of cliff didn't do it then the water would have certainly been it and you know it.”

“But again it wasn't. Neither of the two did it for me as you can see, tough as it might have been. Unless, of course, your ranting is looking to be a serious contestant in that?”

“I assure you, me and my ranting are not trying to bore you to death. It's the last thing I want. But that doesn't mean I am not going to talk about it. Seriously Dean-” another shake of his head that this time earned an eye roll from the older Winchester “You could have drowned so easily and yet somehow you found your way to the shore, which let me point out is absolutely not normal. Not in the kind of situation you were in. Not unless there was some kind of help coming from very deep within that part of the water which is even more disturbing to think about. Maybe in equal measures to you not admitting that you being safe and sound on the shore within minutes from the spot you fell is suspicious. What if the ghost isn't the only supernatural creature here to begin with? What if we have to look more into other beings like...”

Sam kept going. Dean was sure of it. Not because he was listening closely, not because he was paying attention to every word and pondering over it because he had to admit that he hadn't made it out of the water on his own. There was no way he would have made it out alive on his own, that much he knew and could understand just like every other sane human being would easily would. That didn't mean it was because that's what he was currently wondering about. Not when there was little wondering to do about it, no. Both because he didn't have the mind to and also because... well, for the same reason as to why he couldn't listen to his brother at the moment. The images running through his mind.

Yes, he was sure Sam was talking to him but only because of the murmuring he could hear, which sounded more like a distant echo. And it was exactly because of those images which he couldn't shake off, he could never forget, that everything else around him sounded and looked distant and blurry. As if he wasn't part of the scenery, as if he wasn't living in it, but was actually more immersed in another world.

And truth be told, he was in a way. He was too focused in his memories, in the images, in the feelings that were still as vivid as they were a couple hours ago when he really felt them that he was almost reliving the moment. Even if part of that world, part of those feelings and moment were also just as distant and blurry as the present.

Dean was struggling, his entire body was struggling, his lungs were struggling, every cell and every inch of him, struggling to hold onto life. He wanted to hold onto the air in his lungs desperately so but as even more of it left and he couldn't find new one, his actions became more frantic and panicked than his thoughts. The fact that he had not been able to prepare for any of it had not helped to give him a head start of any kind, making it easier and faster for his vision to get blurry and filled with dark spots as the air and therefore fight left his body.

It was only when his mind had started feeling like it didn't care anymore, like there was no reason for fight and like maybe, just maybe, sleep would be a good choice. It wouldn't hurt anymore and he wouldn't have to struggle too hard, even if he really didn't get the chance to wake up ever again. His mind was in such a haze that all reason and will had left, perhaps even his perception of reality too. Because in his haze as he looked up he saw the blur of something that shouldn't have been there not only because he was all alone and sinking but also because it looked like something that shouldn't exist.

Then again, as he thought of it now in the car, he found about the existence of many things that shouldn't exist. Killed plenty of them too.

And yet none like this. It was no surprise that he kept it to himself, that he still wondered if it was all real in the first place. The flash of a shimmering white tail, not one of a shark or a dolphin, a fish could have been accurate if it wasn't for its shape and the colors that it reflected, sparkling under the minimal sun that could reach such depth almost holographic, extending long - almost endless in his eyes at that moment - brushing past his arms and legs, it was all still there in his mind. Vivid and clear as much as it had been that moment, which wasn't to say a lot, but he still could not shake off the feeling of arms wrapping around his body. Real hands, belonging to a human, touched his face. A small shake, he was sure there was that, but not only was his head a mess his eyes were also nearly closed and what sight he had was blurry. It didn't last long, Dean was surprised to even remember it, before a pair of arms wrapped around his torso and it was in that moment he felt the pull only followed seconds later by water moving past him at a speed that is by no means normal, but is certainly enough for Dean to close his eyes shut completely. The dizziness it offered mixing with his already hazy mind, led easily enough to him losing both track and sight of what was happening; and he was fairly sure his consciousness too.

He felt like he was coming in and out of consciousness far too many times for anything to make sense. There was no telling apart reality from hallucination to even dreams.

The feeling of being dragged into the shore was something like a ghost feeling in the back of his mind, arms around his torso dragging him and struggling to pull him out of the sea, sounds of struggling and an effort beyond the person's strength – because obviously the lack of water and presence of drenched clothes that only became heavier this way along with the sticking sand made it all much harder to move. Similar to that was the feeling of a pair of hands, human-like, far too human-like and that somehow set Dean on edge, that pressed on his chest, pushing with all the strength the person could master. And certainly similar to the feeling of hands on his face, the touch much more clear than when he was underwater, though still under a veil of haziness in his minds.

All of those moments, though, despite how blurry they seemed, despite how hard it was for him to figure out if they were real, he knew there was one that he couldn't have dreamed of; that it had to be real. The feeling of lips pressing on his cheek, chaste and feather-like and very hesitant much like the way a forehead rested against his; all shortly after he felt the water pour out of his lips – out of his lungs – like there was no ends. But there was, and in the end he could finally get the precious and much-needed oxygen his body was craving for. He was probably – certainly – still very dizzy and his vision had plenty of black spots but there was no mistaking the sigh of relief he heard, human-like so human-like, and a hand cupping his cheek.

“What could you possibly be doing there you idiot?” the voice was low, sounding very much English and very much human “If only you knew how lucky you were.” a small laugh, and it was probably the sweetest sound he'd ever heard, one he would never forget, he should never forget and he knew he'd hate himself if ever forgot “Lucky idiot. Hm seems fitting, since I can't get a name out of you. Who knows what-”

He could not remember more words being uttered, not from that soft and caring voice. He only remembered someone, someone that sounded a lot like Sam and was most likely him though his dizzy brain couldn't even put that together, call out his name in the far distance before came the sound of hasty rustling and water splashing. It was in those hasty few seconds that he got something he wished he could hold onto forever: His eyes slid open, just slightly so, catching sight of a face, your face.

Admittedly he had felt all air leave his lungs for the second time in that moment, and when your eyes met his and he noticed you pause for a half second, he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to touch you to make sure you were real. Or at least try to, because he didn't have the strength to get more than halfway there. Fact which he regretted later because he couldn't tell if you really had been a fragment of his imagination, what if the face he saw was only in his mind – hard as it would be for him to even dream and therefore make up such a sight.

A sight that combined with the very much mermaid-like, he could only now tell that he was driving and had sobered up, tail vanishing below the surface of the water had been keeping him on edge. Too much for it all to just have been a fragment of his own imagination. Not because it sounded and looked too crazy, nothing could with the kind of life he had, but because he didn't want it to be just him. He wanted it to be real even if he didn't know where he would ever get to see that face, feel those gentle and caring hands that had pulled him to his safety (if he was right about all of it) and hear that compassionate if not clearly teasing voice that revealed a real spark and personality underneath that he could easily adore.

Wait- Adore?

“That's it. That's the caf- Wait- Aren't you gonna stop he- Dean? Dean? Dean!” Sam nearly yelled to get his brother's attention, thankfully making the older Winchester press on the breaks and make the car come to a halt. The younger Winchester could only thank their lucky stars that the road was empty at the moment.

“Huh? Wh-what?” Dean blinked in surprise, as if finally having been brought back to reality.

“Alright, that's it.” Sam huffed stubbornly “We go in there, get something to eat and then you give me the keys and I'm keeping them for the next three days for sure. And I won't hear a single thing from you. We're lucky to be both alive at the moment. Got it?”

He did not leave any room for argument as he stormed out of the car and made his way to the cafe they were originally heading to. Dean, in all honesty, couldn't be more glad for it. It had been anything but silent in his head all this time, he could use a couple seconds of not thinking and not talking to put himself together because at the end of the day he had work to do as well.

Or at least that was what he kept telling himself, repeating the words over and over again like a mantra, to the point he almost believed it. To the point he believed that he had gotten you off his mind, to the point he believed he was getting over everything and to the point that he had convinced himself he was focused on the job and there would be no further distractions. Or at least so he thought until he pushed the cafe's door open and before he could take more than one step inside, felt something – or rather someone – collide with him.

He looked down, lips parted and ready to retort, only for the words to die out in his lips and every though to drown in the sea of disbelief and surprise that took over his entire being. Once more all air had left his lungs and yet the struggle for air had never been as painfully sweet as now.

“Well, look at that...” your voice was soft just like the smile that formed on your lips as your eyes locked with his and Dean still had trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that you were there, right in front of him; before you added in a low voice “It's the lucky idiot.”

[fanfics4all]

Aquaphobia

Request: Yes / No Hi! If requests are open, could you please write something angsty with Jughead where she gets kidnapped or sth? Have a nice day ❤️❤️❤️ Anon

Requests are closed <3 Have a nice day/night

Jughead Jones x Fem!Reader 

Word count: 2419

Warnings: TORTURE PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU GET TRIGGERED EAILY! THIS FIC CONTAINS THE ACT OF ALMOST DROWNING SOMEONE! ALSO CONTAINS KIDNAPPING!

Y/N: Your Name 

A/N: I will not be tagging anyone because of the warnings above!!

PLEASE DO NOT STEAL MY WORK, I WORK HARD ON MY FICS AND IT’S NOT COOL TO STEAL SOMEONE ELSE’S WORK! 

If you want to be on the tag list for anything (My series fics, specific character fics, or just all of them) All you have to do is send me an ask and I will add you! 

Masterlist 

(Not my photo, credit to whoever made it!)

It was war between the Ghoulies and Serpents, which meant everything and everyone was fair game. My boyfriend Jughead, leader of the Serpents, was extra worried. He thought the Ghoulies were gonna come after me to get to him, which is understandable, but I knew what that meant. Jughead had invited me over after school, he said we needed to talk. 

“What did you wanna talk about Juggie?” I asked, hopping onto his counter after I grabbed a beer. 

“I think we should take a break…” He said and I nearly spit out my drink. 

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked.

“Just until we take care of the Ghoulies, then we can-”

“We can what? Pick up where we left off like nothing happened? No! I’m not gonna let the Ghoulies break us up out of fear!” I said annoyed that he could even think I’d be okay with this.

“But you’ll be safe! Once we’re done they won’t use you to get to me!” He said in a desperate tone. 

“Juggie, we’re stronger together and I will not let them scare us like this!” I said and pecked his lips. 

“Now, if you excuse me I have to go to work.” I said grabbing my jacket and heading out the door before he could say another word. 

Once work was finally over I gathered all my stuff . I lived alone since my parents decided to ditch me to go who knows where. My phone rang and I smiled when I saw Jughead’s name and picture pop up on my screen. 

“Hey Juggie, I just got out.” I answered. 

“I know, but you don’t have your bike. Is someone giving you a ride?” He asked and I sighed. 

“No Jug, I’m walking. It’s not that far away anyway.” I said, rolling my eyes. I walked outside and breathed in the cool air. I made my way to my shittly little place. 

“But the Ghoulies are after anyone who’s a Serpents and you especially since we’re together! This is exactly why I want us to take a break until things cool down!” He said annoyed. I took a deep breath and looked up at the sky. It was completely black, except for the moon which was shining bright and clear in the night sky. It was beautiful and helped me keep calm from going off on Jughead. 

“I understand Jug, but I think that’s a win for them. Besides, do you really think they just won’t go after me if we break up?” I asked. 

“I see your point, but I still think you’ll be safer if you weren’t with me.” He sighed. 

“Jug, it really won’t make much of a difference. They’re stupid, but they’re smart enough to know that you’ll still care about me.” I said and he sighed again. 

“You’re right…” He said and I smiled a little. 

“I knew you’d see it my way, now why don’t y- Ouch!” I hissed in pain, dropping my phone to the ground. Someone grabbed my wrist with one of their hands and held me tightly. They twisted it behind my back, making me hiss in pain even more. I could hear Jughead’s voice screaming through my phone asking if I was alright. From the corner of my eye I saw whoever was holding me bringing a cloth closer to my face. I quickly held my breath as he pushed the damp cloth to my face, covering my mouth and nose. I tried to struggle out of his grip, but it only pained me more. The man groaned annoyed when he realized I was holding my breath. 

“You can’t hold your breath forever babe.” He whispered in my ear and I realized who it was. Malachai. 

“Y/N! Y/N!” Jughead desperately called my name. 

“Don’t worry Serpent Prince! We’ll take good care of her!” Malachai called with a laugh. 

“You son of a bitch!” Jughead seethed. I couldn't hold my breath anymore. I hastily caught my breath, trying my hardest not to breath too much in, but it was too late. I immediately smelled the bitter odor of the chloroform and a few seconds later my eyes closed against my will.

I opened my eyes and felt a sharp pain run through my head. I groaned in pain and tried to press my fingers to my head, but I couldn’t move them. The room had a dull light filling it, it honestly looked like I was in a basement. 

“Morning Princess.” Malachai said walking in front of me with a smirk on his face. 

“Your little boyfriends messed with the wrong gang. And now you’re gonna be with me, I’ll really treat you like a Princess.” He said and licked his lips. I decided silence was my best bet. Malachai on the other hand, did not like that. 

“What’s wrong darling? Snake got your tongue?” He asked with a smirk. I simply turned my head away from him. 

“Guess I’ll just have to make you talk.” He said, his smirk growing. 

“Just talk Princess.” He whispered in my ear and I shook my head. Did he really fucking think that would work? Then I suddenly felt him nibbling my earlobe and I turned my face to stop him. Unfortunately, the only direction I could turn to make him stop was towards him. So when I turned my head he quickly moved his lips to my face and he managed to kiss the corner of my mouth. I moved away and he groaned. He followed my movements, trying to get his lips perfectly on mine. 

“Stop.” I growled. I could literally feel him smile against my chin. 

“Look who’s talking now.” He said with a mocking tone. I rolled my eyes. It was silent for another few moments, so Malachai tried to kiss my neck. 

“Just leave me alone you Ghoulie as-” 

“Don’t say it. We don’t want such filthy words coming out of your gorgeous mouth, Princess.” He said and I narrowed my eyes at him. 

“Asshole.” I growled. 

“Well, I did warn you.” He said and untied me. As soon as my hands were free, because they didn’t bother to tie my legs down, I stood up and punched him as hard as I could. I ran for the door and of course it was locked. I turned around and he was now standing, eyes trailing over my body. My breathing became heavier as I waited for his next move. The veins were popping out of his neck and his hands were clenched into fists. 

“You shouldn’t have punched me, Y/N.” He said after countless seconds of silence. He takes a step towards me and a shiver runs down my spine as I push myself against the door. 

“Ya know I didn’t want to damage you too badly, but you just bought yourself a one way ticket to hell.” He said and threw himself at me. I tried to punch or kick him, hell I even tried to bite him, but nothing worked. 

“Let me go you freak!” I shouted. I don’t think he liked that very much because he threw me against the wall, knocking my head and back on the hard cold concrete. I groaned in pain, but before I managed to get up Malachai took a firm hold on my upper arm and practically dragged me into a room I didn’t notice before. I felt the fear growing in the pit of my stomach, I wasn’t sure what he was going to do. The smirk he gave me told me it wasn’t going to be good. With his free hand he took a strong hold onto my hair and I screamed in pain, but it ended up being muffled by the water I was pushed into. I started to panic even more as my lungs began to fill with water and I struggled to get to the surface with my hands without any success. I screamed in the water for Malachai to let me go, bubbles forming from the air leaving my lips and floated to the surface. Just as I started to feel light headed, I was roughly pulled up and I immediately gasp for air. 

“What do you think Princess? I didn’t want to hurt that pretty face of yours, so this was the next best thing.” He said with a huge smirk. He doesn’t even give me time to reply before I’m pushed into the water again, but I manage to take a deep breath right before I hit the water, which was freezing cold by the way. I just hoped that Malachai would pull me back up before I ran out of air, but I wasn’t that lucky. It seemed like he knew exactly when the lack of oxygen was enough for someone to pass out, which is exactly when he pulled me back up again. I gasped for air once again before he once again pushed me down again. I didn’t even have time to take a full deep breath, instead I was cut off halfway and swallowed some of the water. 

My lungs were screaming for air and my chest hurt. Malachai didn’t care, he just kept going. And going. And going. And going. Saying that I was panicked was an understatement. He ignored my pleading, no matter how hard I tried. I looked up at him with fear and tears in my eyes, his smirk just grew. 

Jughead’s POV

They took her. They took my Y/N! I shouldn’t have let her out of my damn sight! I should have had her come stay with me and take her everywhere! How the hell could I be so stupid? I immediately called a meeting after Malachai, I’m guessing, smashed her phone. Every Serpent knew what happened and we were all looking for her. We rounded up every Ghoulie and questioned them thoroughly, but didn’t get much. That was until I got the call from Sweet Pea, Toni, and Fangs. 

“Hello?” I answered with a sigh.

“I think we know where she is, Jones.” Sweet Pea said. 

“What? Where?” I asked, perking up immediately. 

“Some Ghoulie scum said Malachai has a hideout on the edge of town.” Toni said. 

“Alright, I want you to tell everyone where it is and to meet me there, text me the address. I’m already on my way.” I said and hung up. I grabbed my keys and hopped in the truck. I’m coming for you baby, just hold on a little longer. 

Y/N’s POV

It’s been I think a week since Malachai took me and tortured me. He did it the next two days and I was now in shock. I woke up numb, realizing that I somehow managed to fall asleep again. My heart was beating in my chest, blood was running through my veins, I was even breathing every now and then, but I felt nothing but emptiness. I barely even felt Malachai’s arms around my waist, let alone care about it. He was not even an inch away from me, but I felt like I was miles away, almost as if I was dreaming. Maybe I was. Maybe I was in a terrible nightmare. A little voice in the back of my head is telling me that this is unfortunately reality, but I’m choosing to ignore it. Because if this was reality then I drowned, but not actually. Malachai pulled me up, and also pushed me back into that freezing cold water. Just thinking about him brings back pictures of water and a feeling of panic. I felt the fear and panic hitch in my throat, suffocating me like the water did. My eyes started to water as the panic finally took over, making my breathing quicken and get heavier. I gripped the hem of the shirt I was wearing, not even realizing it was a different one than yesterday. I let out a whimper and my body started to uncontrollably shake. 

Jughead’s POV

We made it to the hideout and quickly got a plan down. We would go in guns ready, yes we got guns for this, and search the whole damn place. I would get my Y/N back no matter what. We all stormed the house and took out a few Ghoulies along the way, but no sign of Y/N. Until I found the basement. I rushed down by myself, which probably wasn’t the best idea, but I didn’t have time to think. They could be killing her for all I know. What I found made my eyes widen. Malachai was kneeling over her, calling her name as she shook and whimpered. He sounded panicked, something I wasn’t expecting. His legs were on either side of her waist and he was leaning close to her. I watched as he slapped her and she flinched in pain, but everything was silent. That when I snapped out of my daze. 

“You son of a bitch! Get away from her!” I shouted and tackled him off her. We fell to the floor and began to fight, but I untilimently got the upperhand. I forgot about the gun completely and just started beating the shit out of him. It wasn’t until I was pulled off him by Sweet Pea and Fangs that I remembered Y/N. I rushed over to her and gently caressed her face. 

“Y/N? Y/N? Baby? Are you alright?” I asked, but silence was my only response. 

“Come on baby, I’m right here.” I begged. 

“What did they do to you?” I asked, tears blurring my vision. 

“She’ll never be the same again.” Malachai laughed while spitting up some blood. 

“What the fuck did you do to her!?” Sweet Pea growled, lifting him up by his shirt. 

“Let’s just say she won’t be swimming anytime soon, if ever.” He laughed and I heard Y/N whimper. 

“Hey, it’s okay baby, I’m right here.” I said and pulled her in for a hug. 

“J-Jughead?” She asked quietly, her voice full of fear. 

“Yeah, it’s me, I’m here baby. You’re safe now.” I said and kissed her head. 

“Wanna go for another dip babe?” Malachai asked and I heard her start to cry into my chest. 

“Get him the hell out of here!” I growled. They grabbed him and roughly pulled him upstairs. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m gonna help you through whatever that asshole did to you.” I whispered. The Ghoulies were really gonna pay now.

[crazyfreckledginger]

Donald Pierce x Reader - “Tainted Heart” [Part 2]

When you confront your boyfriend about how secretive he is being, he finally tells you what his actual job is. Understanding that the side of him you fell in love with was only a lie, you ban him from your house but find it more complicated to let him go when you discover something that would change your future completely. Donald reappears a few days later, trying to make amends, will you be able to forgive him?

Requested by 3 anons: “Can I request a Donnie fic where the reader has been dating him for a while and they live together and everything but he doesn’t tell her exactly what he does and she starts to think that he’s cheating on her when he has to go out for meeting and shit, you can the ending angsts or fluffy”

“Hey can I request a really angsts Donald pierce bit, where basically the reader and Donnie get in an argument and it’s a proper screaming match and they don’t talk to each other for s bit, you can end it how you want but I thought it would be a fun idea because I’m really in the mood for some angst”

“Can u write sth with donald pierce and reader where donald comes into their house out of nowhere with logan laura and professor x to help them hide just like the scene from avengers age of ultron? (Reader is pregnant)”

A/N: I COMBINED THREE REQUESTED INTO A TWO PART SERIES, I’M A GENIUS!! Not really

Warning: violence, language, fighting, angst.

Hugging the pillow on her lap, the girl’s eyes stayed on the TV screen. She didn’t know what to do with herself and thankfully, her boss was kind enough to give her a few days off. 

Her mind had wandered, far from the movie, and towards her boyfriend -- well, ex-boyfriend.

A frustrated sigh escaped her lips, this sucks, big time!

Her crying only picked up at how everything was a lie, she couldn’t believe everything their relationship was built on was only fake, the work he did made him a lot of money, she just thought he strived at his job, not that it was so illegal it paid so well.

(Y/N) was dating a monster, a heartless beast that entertained himself with guarding abused children that were to be turned into weapons. 

She didn’t know if it was the crying or watching TV so early in the morning and eating something she wasn’t supposed to but she felt her stomach churn and before she could realise what she was doing, her feet were instinctively racing her towards the bathroom. 

Her hands gripped the toilet seat and she threw up bitterly. After emptying her stomach, she slumped against the wall and sat there for a few moments. 

It started a few days before she confronted her boyfriend, so two days after he left for that horrible job of his. 

Her time of the month was in a while, so she had no way of knowing if it was delayed or not.

The only thought that itched her, the constant vomiting that felt too foreign to be any type of food poisoning, the very active sexual life she had with Pierce. 

It wouldn’t hurt her if she got herself tested right? Only two tests to reduce any errors and boom, all her worries are at bay.

But what if she was pregnant?

****

Her feet trudged to the closest pharmacy, opening the door and scanning the isles. (Y/N) didn’t want to meet anyone she knew at the moment, no body she knew, and especially, not her ex. 

Her hand grasped one that she had seen advertised countless times on media, however, also decided to reach for another brand, just to be sure. 

The woman couldn’t bear to make eye contact with the cashier, fearing that all the raw emotions she was feeling could were worn in her colourful irises. Placing both boxes on the counter and, she waited as he gave her the price. 

It was a quick exchange before her nose buried itself in her coat and her shoes scurried back home. 

****

She paced nervously along the table and stared at the time. 

Only a minute or so now. 

It felt like an entire century before the result started appearing and the only thing she could hear and feel was her too rapid heartbeat.

 She was tested positive, on both.

“Shit!” she slammed it against the counter in anger, why did she have to be pregnant, a week or so earlier she would be more than happy, but knowing the monster he actually was tore her to shreds. 

A knock on her door stopped her from even considering what she would do with the baby. 

Hiding the tests and washing her hands, she announced her arrival before opening the door and freezing in her steps.

Her breath caught in her throat as her eyes landed on the person in front of her. They just stared at each other for a moment before she gulped and murmured.

“What have I told you?” it was a rhetorical question and she wasn’t expecting what he was going to say after -- only expecting him to try and defend himself.

“I know you hate me, but I need you to shelter three people for me,” he whispered, nodding to his car.

The backseat window was very barely open and her eyes could distinguish dark brown eyes awkwardly looking at the both of them. 

Searching, she also vaguely distinguished another silhouette in the front seat behind the tinted windows.

“Everyone is out to kill them, us,” Donald trailed off. 

Her fingertips tapped against the doorframe in thought before she sighed in defeat.

“Not everyone,” her hand push the door to open it wider and her ex nodded to the people in the car and they quickly scurried out.

The woman’s heart leapt out of her chest at the sight of a gruff, tired-looking bearded man, an old man in a wheelchair that looked easily in his late seventies, and finally, a thick-skinned girl. 

Despite how ill the man appeared, his grave voice offered her a disgruntled thank you. The intimidating aura he radiated was soon washed over with the grateful thanks the older man gave her.

When they made dinner and prepared rooms for the guests, only (Y/N) and Donald stood facing each other against the kitchen counter and the kitchen island.

“Talk,” was the only word she said. The girl conveyed it with such cold and venom, but Pierce knew how much he wounded her, and he entirely admitted to his mistake.

“Before we broke up, I was rarely at home because the firm ordered me to search for them. The time we broke up was when we tracked them and we were keeping an eye on them to know when to strike, but after our fight, I found it more difficult to keep at it, the chase, the battles, everything.” He took a deep breath after he realised how low his voice had gotten. 

“The only reason I didn’t quit earlier was because I knew they would hunt for every single person I knew and cherished, to kill everyone.” 

“You were indispensable?” 

“Not necessarily, they would do it to clean up every trace of illegal activity that might have been rumored because of us. I didn’t want to put you in danger,” 

“And now?” 

“Now,” he took in a much needed breath, “I realised that it would have been better to be in love and on the run than breaking your heart and keeping you safe,” the man turned around, slowly, preparing to walk to the couch and expecting her to stay quiet.

(Y/N) gripped his bomber jacket. Pierce stopped in his tracks but didn’t dare turn back.

“I never said I didn’t love you, I’m mad and heartbroken because of you, yes, but I never stopped loving you,” she admitted. 

He turned around, a gleam of hope in his eyes. 

“Don’t give me that look Donnie, I feel like shit, b-but I can’t let you go easily,” she nearly let a sob escape, it was so unfair, everything was happening so quickly and she could barely keep up as things were being thrown at her and new obstacles were being added to her load. 

“Why not?” he whispered. Behind her teary eyes, she managed to meet his gaze without breaking down.

“I’m-” a difficult gulp went down her throat as she placed her palm on her stomach, “I’m pregnant,” silent tears streamed down her cheeks and she let herself engulf in a protective hug from Pierce. His lips kissed her forehead, breathing in her scent that he had missed so much.

“We’ll get through this, together,” he held her hand tightly, but she pulled back, still a little fragile about what his job is.

“N-no, give me time, p-please,” she cried. Donnie frowned, feeling somehow worse about himself as he saw first hand how wounded he left her in.

“As much time as you need,” 

Through rough times, I won’t stop following you for doing the right thing. 

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[troubleshipping]

Long list of various Team Rocket headcanons

Recently I had a really nice talk with @masterstarpikachu about Rocketshipping/general Team Rocket stuff, and some of the headcanons that were brought up are just too good not to be shared with the world so I have compiled them into a big post

Warning: Some small nsfw elements at the very beginning of this, please beware if you don’t like that kinda thing! Nothing explicit but like the evil word s*x is mentioned once so shield yo eyes kiddos

Contents of this post include:

- Controversy about the see-through level of Pokéballs - Meowth and the Pokémon shittalking humans behind their backs - Meowth and Jessie tease James about literally everything - Meowth is a supportive friend in the most asshole-y way possible - Jessie actually being nice for once - Food - Hot take but Jessebelle is a yandere - Jessie almost dies but it's okay because the ship happens

Actual list under the cut because this good content here got long

- Starting topic that triggered this entire conversation: - Jessie and James are about to get intimate, but just in that moment - *Pokéball release sound* “WOOOOBBUFFET” - So that raised an important question: - How much exactly are Pokémon able to see out of their Pokéballs? - Because most of the time when they’re called out mid-battle they immediately charge in without hesitating, so it seems like they know what’s been going on - Larvitar was able to see out of its egg shell too which suggests similar things for Pokéballs - Trainers, do not leave your Pokéballs in the same room you do private stuff in

- What if that’s how Meowth finds out Jessie and James are a thing - “Meowth, how did you know? What do you mean Seviper told you?? How did Seviper know???” - “…..oh my god” - Mime Jr was too young to see that - James will never live it down - He’s too ashamed to look his son in the eyes ever again - Probably needs to sit him down to have *the talk* and it’s the most shameful thing he’s ever had to do - Does Mime Jr even understand what he’s saying? Does it care about what humans do? Probably not, but Meowth won’t think it’s necessary to point that out

- I like the idea of Meowth sharing gossip with the other Pokémon in general - He’s barely seen talking to Pokémon, which is honestly a waste if you ask me? It’s like the writers forgot that bilingual people don’t actually forget their mother tongue - Imagine Meowth and the other Pokémon just complaining about the dumb shit the humans do - Besides, let him have some friends he won’t be the third wheel to lmao

- Literally tho, imagine all their Pokémon had seen their masters, ahem.. “blast off” - Poor souls didn’t know Pokéballs were see-through from the inside - Jessie would pretend not to care, she’s above that. There’s no reason at all to be ashamed. But she’d be blushing so hard she wouldn’t fool anyone. - Shit’s awkward no matter how tough you are - James wouldn’t even try to pretend, James would straight up die - RIP James

- On another note - James totally makes those little high pitched squeaky sounds during sex and you cannot change my mind it’s canon - You know exactly what I mean - There’s literally no way he doesn’t - He’s tryna be all sexy and smooth and stuff but then Jessie starts touching him or something and he just SQUEAKS - Secretly she finds it kinda hot in a weird way but she’d never admit it - Pretends it’s a coincidence that she’ll keep trying to get him to make more of those sounds - Meanwhile Meowth outside the door is like “what the actual fuck James” - “Jimmy’s such a weird one” - He’d tease James to no end about it - Meowth embarrassing James about details of stuff he shouldn’t even know about is my new favorite thing - Also Jessie trying to stop him but also holding back laughter because “well he’s not wrong” - “WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?!” - C’mon she can’t turn down an opportunity to tease him - James is then all embarrassed and lowkey offended and gives her the silent treatment - He refuses to talk to her ever again - Aka for like the next half hour or so - Eventually she’d probably apologize though because even she isn’t THAT mean - At least not when it comes to James - Not always - Maybe - She gets soft around him when nobody’s around to see it - Sometimes - And maybe he’d forgive her if she did those things again...

- Jessie being soft with James is my absolute weakness though - Especially since they’ve been friends for so long and he knows full well that nobody else is allowed to see that side of her ever - It’d definitely make him feel special and loved - Imagine Jessie letting her guard down and being kind to James for no reason other than because she genuinely wants him to be happy - I am weak - Even if it’s just little things - Especially those tbh - Just trying to cheer him up when he’s down instead of simply telling him to get over it - Saving a nice bottlecap she found even though she never understood that hobby of his - Just saving it for him because maybe he’d want it - He’d be so touched - Probably would make his entire week - He’d save that one bottlecap forever - Even if it’s not one of the kind he collects, or a duplicate or sth - It’d be his most prized possession

- Something I really want to happen is them sharing their food properly, because you know that for those two that’d be a HUGE sign of affection - The anime may pretend they share everything equally (they say so in an episode) but honestly 90% of the time they get in literal fights over the last scrap - So one of them happily sharing could even be the first step of them realizing their feelings - Like, maybe James would let Jessie eat his portion - She’d definitely take longer than him to show any signs of affection - And she just - “Why’d you let me have it is something wrong with you?” - “No…it’s just…you seem really hungry” - When he offers her the food, instead of immediately devouring it like she usually would she just - Stops and doubles back - Stares at the food in his hands, then at him, back at the food - “Are you serious?” - In that moment he realized what he’s done and gets all defensive - “Just eat it, Jess!” - “I’m just not that hungry, okay?” (*stomach growling noise*) - Then they are interrupted by Meowth - “What about me? I’m starvin’!” - In the end they just split it in three parts because sharing with them both is a bit less awkward to explain

- Also - In the beginning when they start falling for each other, Meowth would be oblivious by choice - As in he sees the signs but he ignores them because “nahhh no way” - Then when he figures it out he mercilessly teases James about having a crush on Jess every chance he gets - Though he’d do it without her hearing about it, because he isn’t THAT mean to him - But when they actually start dating he realizes he was a FOOL and now he has to deal with that forever - Like - He probably gave James advice out of pity - (James totally confides in him at some point because he just needs to talk to SOMEONE) - But then Jessie went for it and he realizes too late what that means for him - Now he needs to live with the consequences

- Meowth giving James love advice about Jessie though - That sounds like a huge train wreck - I mean he may tease him to no end but they’re still best friends so he’d still try to help when he realizes James is serious - “That dumbass really got it bad huh” - Deep down he does care for his friends after all - He’s like permanently done with James’ shit but he still keeps his secret - Although he can and will use his newly gained knowledge as blackmail whenever he wants something from him - And at the same time half of his “advice” consists of “lol Jessie’s gonna kill you” - “YOU’RE NOT HELPING MEOWTH” - James is already well aware of that - That’s his problem - He’s been faced with the full extent of Jessie’s wrath before - He knows better than to risk getting on her bad side

- On the other hand, it’s canon that when Jessie falls for someone she tends to actually act friendly and kind around them to some degree - Which I’m assuming is an instinctive reaction because she doesn’t want to scare them off - But falling for James would be weird since it’d trigger her instinct to be soft and good but at the same time - “No that’s James wtf” - She’s been treating him full force nasty for years and so far he hasn’t left so there’s really no need - Honestly James tends to get freaked out whenever she’s calm because a nice Jessie is just WRONG - Pure boy got so used to her mean antics he gets worried about her when she’s friendly to him - As a result, before admitting her feelings even to herself, Jessie would instead get MORE mean out of defiance - That darn Tsundere smh - She cares a lot about him but she cannot show weakness her mind won’t allow it - Nope - Fight me, feelings

- Vs Jessebelle, who is a Yandere and should be feared - And should also be decked in the face by Jessie tyvm - Imagine an actual Yandere Jessebelle tho - Nightmare fuel - I mean that whip scene was already terrifying - She broke a fucking dresser with the hit that was aimed at James - I know it was exaggerated cartoon violence but like she almost straight up murdered him - And his parents are okay with that?? - Because he’s too delinquent for her - So he can just die apparently - Now imagine her getting obsessed with him to the point of actively following him around to get him to marry her - And trying to get Jessie out of the way to get him back - Can I just say Horror AU right there - I’m an angst writer don’t test me - I like to take dark stuff and make it WORSE - Picture this - James coming back from a short trip to gather firewood or sth like that, only to find Jessie unconscious and bleeding from a stab wound - :) - Maybe Jessebelle is still standing there and laughing because she finally won - Of course she’ll survive but just BARELY - They’re in the middle of nowhere and James frantically tries to find someone to help her but they’re all alone - I mean after all that blasting off they probably know some basic first aid at least - He could stop the bleeding and then take her to a hospital with the hot air balloon - Cue that good ol’ “refusing to leave her bedside until she wakes up” cliché thing - But also imagine Jessie waking up in the hospital with James asleep next to her - Maybe even subconsciously holding her hand in his sleep - Because he was too worried about her and was probably talking to her before he ended up passing out from exhaustion

[cle-levanter]

Soft Bias Tag

i was tagged by @bananamilk-jeno​ to do this. Thank you so so much this is so cute vuebgui (oliver ilysm)

Who is your bias?

I have too much groups so i’ll just do that for my ub aka Ten bvreibveir (i’m already soft please bear with me)

What made you notice them?

His smile... definitely his smile! well i first noticed him bc of Hit The Stage (i’m a dance show hoe sorry not sorry) and his Devil concept and like... his little smile at the beginning of the performance (the smile is at 0:50 to be precise) made me fall for him instantly and then i saw his dance skills and that was it, he got me just with that

What is your favorite thing about them?

Everything? no but really i like so much things about him... his smile, his eyes, his laugh, the way he moves (when he dances and also the he doesn’t), his silly self, his perverted jokes (like John’s banana), i have to stop this list or i’ll end up by writing ‘everything’ once again bc i jut love Ten too much

Who would initiate skinship more?

Probably him... i’m kinda uncomfortable when it comes to physical contacts (even tho i crave it most of the time) so most of the time it would be him i think (but then i could be in one of those days i could hug everything and anything and damn Tenny boi would get lots of hugs and other stuffs)

Who would hog the blankets more?

Definitely me lol i tend to use blankets as things i tighten against me (is that even proper english? i’m tired) when i sleep (i even have a blanket i only use for that in my bed) so i would be the one hogging the blankets :’)

Who would be more clingy?

Again depends on my mood ;-; but i love him so much that i think i would be the more clingy one... give me your attention, lots of it

Who would be more easily flustered?

Ahahahah... me

What cuddling position would you two have?

oooooof idk? i love cuddles in general so i guess any position would do? tho i love to feel protected and secure so i think i would be the one being hugged/cuddled more often... i love cuddles but feel uneasy with physical contact, do you all feel my struggle over here?

What colors remind you of them and why?

Purple! bc this color suits him so well! Ten owns purple *nods nods* also black bc Ten wearing black or with black hair is a concept i support at 100000000000%

Which season would you like to spend with them?

All four of them? bc every season has its perks *side eyes*

Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

Under no circumstances i’m letting Ten bake cookies or other sweet things... remember the brownies with Johnny! (he didn’t wash his hands bruobugier) so i would bake the cookies (bc i like doing that) and we would steal the batter together bc this shit is good why would i stop myself? and him

Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

have you heard Ten’s puns? have you read/heard mine? we’d both make bad puns all the time! but i laugh easily so i’d probably laugh at his puns almost all the time but he’ll be like “duh... that’s not funny” at mine even tho i would almost be on the floor laughing at my own jokes

Who would want to adopt 50 dogs and cats?

LMAO PROBABLY ME! every time i see a cute dog (even with its owner) or a cute cat (stray cat or not) i’m like “CAN WE ADOPT IT???” bc i love cats and dogs too much for my own good (actually my plans if i find no one to live my life with is to have as much pets as my salary will allow me bc why not? also pro tip: don’t leave me alone in an animal shelter vbiebvi)

Which one of you would nearly burn down the kitchen to try to microwave a poptart and who would come to the rescue?

Again, probably me bc i already set fire to some butter in a frying pan...... idk how it happened tho, it just happened i always have to ask silly cooking related stuffs to my mum when i cook bgreibgi bc i’m not that confident of a cook when i’m alone in a kitchen and i often take silly decisions like probably the poptart in the microwave bfiuzrbieru and then Ten would just laugh his ass off till i yell at him to help me instead of just laughing like a fucking seal

Who likes to lean over tall railings and who pulls them back?

I’m afraid of heights and i do that too often (yes even if i’m afraid of heights i like living dangerously) bc even if i’m afraid i like feeling tall or just being far from the ground virubveir but yeah bc i’m afraid of height i would panic like crazy if Ten did that and just pull him back and i’d snuggle against him bc i got scared for him lol but if he did that to me i would pout lol

What would watching a horror film with them be like?

I don’t watch horror films (unless they’re psychological) so if i were to watch horror film with Ten i would probably spend the entire time snuggled against his chest, playing with his shirt, his hoodie strings or just his hair and jump/scream like a scared little animal when there are loud noises or just something a little bit scary vbierbvi i would also try to distract him from the movie bc i’m scared and need to be comforted (or just bc i’m bored) and try to kiss him and vbruibegrbei if i go on this will end in a full length fic help me i’m getting ideas

Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i do both but with pickup lines that aren’t from me vbroebigb and i’m actually really really bad at flirting lol also i tend to cringe when it’s too cheesy but i like cheesy stuffs at the same time so yeah... i think, seeing that i blush easily, Ten would be the one to flirt the most (cheesy and smooth) just to make me blush and tease me vberuibi that wasn’t the question and i talk too much i’m sorry vbrueib

Who is more competitive?

Probably him but i like small challenges/prove people they’re wrong uhuh like you tell me i can’t open that jar? bitch imma do everything to open it without your help (this is one example among others)

Who would have to be given reminders (remember to eat, don’t forget your keys, etc.)?

i think both of us lol like i always often forget to eat or just to take care of myself in general but i’m also a kind of “walking reminder” for my friends so i would remind him things and vice versa uhuh

Who sends memes and who sends cute things like “I miss you” texts at 3am?

well well idk lol i have lots and lots of memes but i often forget to send them so i guess we both would be into small meme fights but i think i would be the one sending the texts at 3am if i’m really confortable bc i’m almost doing that with some irl friends but i retain myself from doing so bc it would be dangerous lol and maybe he would do it while on tour or sth like that? idk i probably see Ten far more soft than he actually is but he’s pisces and me too so i think he’s very soft deep down breigbir

This gif is so cute i’m dying i had to put it in here vbeuibuierbguibe This was so fun (and long bc i write too much frbueibgeui) to do and now i’m so soft and full of fluff, cotton candy and rainbow broubguoz but at the same time now i want to turn some of the things i said into fics but i know i can’t write for shit so vbrzuibfreyubgbfzuob

I’ll tag: @renjunslaugh, @ohhstraykids, @jaehuynstiddies, @ultrasoftstraykids, @choerry-bbomb and whoever wants to do it bc idk who i can tag iorzbgrue you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to ofc also if you want me to tag you in those just tell me and i’ll do it uhuh (if you don’t like me tagging you in stuff too tho)

[kpurereactions]

Kim Namjoon

REQUEST: Heyy, can I ask for a scenario where you (crush) are sleeping over at the dorm and you ask namjoon to sleep with him bc you are having nightmares, and you feel safe with him? Maybe it could be the confession moment or sth, you can play with it ♡♡ :3

Wednesday night horror nights we’re your favorite nights of the week by far, especially since you got to spend them with some of your closest friends. There was something about the way everyone would bring all the pillows and blankets that were in the dorm and throw them into a huge pile in the center of the living room floor for everyone to just lay on.

Like every Wednesday you would be wedged in between Namjoon and Hoseok. Hobi holding tightly to your hand and squeezing every time something scary happened, and Namjoon working as a shield for you to squeeze behind when something was too gory.

Every Wednesday a different person would pull from a hat of movies and this week it was your turn. You stuck your tongue out and looked to Namjoon who just smiled at you as you picked a piece of paper out of the hat.

‘Oh! A classic, Texas Chainsaw Massacre. You know, I heard it’s based off of a true story-’

'Y/n stop it!’ Taehyung whined causing you to laugh as you sat back in your usual spot and waited for Jungkook to put the movie in.

- You couldn’t stop screaming, it was just like the last time. All you could see was half of Jungkook hanging above you, eyes still open as the tall dark figure slowly approached a crouching Taehyung. You tried to scream to tell him to run but now when you needed to scream the most nothing came out. - For the second time in a matter of an hour and a half that same graphic dream had woken you. Panting and trying to wipe the small amount of sweat that had started to form around your neck, you looked around. Seeing all the sleeping forms of the boys around you made you sigh, relieved that Jungkook was still in one piece. There were only two people missing; Yoongi, who had retired earlier, and Namjoon, who you knew never really liked to sleep on the floor. You bit the inside of your cheek, now wide awake and seeing the tall dark figure everywhere. Your mind fought with itself, should you stay here or go find Joon, he had always been a source of comfort. So much so that you constantly found yourself running to him for comfort, not that you minded though. You were absolutely head over heels for him.

Deciding on what to do you wrapped your blanket around your shoulders and stood, not caring if as you stood you left Jimin bare to the cold air of the dorm. You walked quickly as your mind played tricks on you until you reached his door where you opened it and quickly shut it a little louder that you should have. The shadows you know?

'Y/n? Are you okay?’ Namjoon’s sleepy voice whispered. The shadow of him sat up on its elbows and from the way you were straining your eyes you could see the blanket around him slip slightly to show his bare chest.

'Oh, this is stupid I’m sorry.’ You said turning to go.

'No what’s wrong?’ He asked sitting up further.

'Nightmares… Jungkook was sawed in half and I just..’ you stopped seeing the shadow outline of his hand waving, telling you to spare him the details.

'Common.’ He’d say and now you could see his form scooting to the far side of his bed leaving enough room for you.

Hesitant at first you looked over to the other bed before stepping forward. You laid on his bed, still wrapped in your blanket and with your back facing him, your mind racing. This was not a good idea you should have just woken Jimin up.

'You know there’s a blanket on this bed.. it’d be easier if you used that.’ He said and you could feel him shifting under you trying to get free of the restrictions your body put on the top of his covers.

'Sorry.’ You said as you stood and dropped the blanket, smiling gently as he opened his own blanket for you.

'Do you think you’ll be able to sleep?’ He asked. You rolled over to face him and we’re taken aback at how close he had gotten. You bit your lip, another dream now flooding your mind as you remembered the first time you dreamt about your first kiss with him.

'I see him in the corners.’ You whispered making Namjoon chuckle.

'You wouldn’t do well in a scary movie would you?’ He asked adjusting his head that rested on his arm.

'No not really.’ You said laughing with him this time.

'I don’t think any of us would… maybe Kook but that’s a heavy maybe.’

You couldn’t help the smile that was touching both of your cheeks, he could make you giggle like a school girl and not even be mad about it. You pulled his comforter up closer to your chin, it was a lot thinner than yours and the cold air of his room was finally catching up with you.

'Cold.’ You said as he asked if you were okay.

'Easy fix, come here.’ He said adjusting himself so his arms were open towards you. You propped yourself up on an elbow and stared at him for a second before he sighed. 'Common we’ve cuddled before.’

'Not in a bed…’ you said but still you shifted yourself so your head was resting in the curve of his shoulder and his arms were tightly wrapped around you. Out of instinct you reached your arm over his side, surprising yourself when you touched bare skin.

'If I knew you were coming I would have put a shirt on.’ He chuckled, the sound of his laugh vibrating against your cheek. You didn’t say anything, just laid there listening to his heart beat and trying to memorize the sound of it and the feeling of his skin on yours.

You were almost asleep, the sounds of his breathing was like a lullaby with how quickly it made you drowsy. The feeling of him taking a deep breath and the sound of him saying your name pulled you out of your hazy state. You nodded your head once to indicate you were listening but when he didn’t answer right away you lifted your head, frowning slightly at the warmth you lost from just the small movement.

'I really like this.’ He finally said as he ever so slightly tightened his grip on you.

'I do too.’ You whispered after putting your head back down on his chest. You felt his cheek rest against the top of your head and his chest shift as he breathed deeply.

'Y/n?’

'Yes?’

'Can I tell you something?’ You could hear the hesitation in his voice and his heart start to beat faster.

'Anything.’

'What if I… how would you feel if… y/n?’

'Yes?’ You bit your lip and sat back up to look at him. Trying to tell him through your gaze to just spit it out.

'I really like you.’ He finally said. You pulled your lip in further between your teeth and let it out slowly.

'I really like you too.’ You said nodding.

'No like… I really like you.’ He said emphasizing really.

'I know what you mean, Joonie. I really like you too.’ You said smiling now, you’ve never seen him this flustered before and you had to admit it was very cute.

'You do?’ His voice brought you back.

'I have for a while.’ You admitted. Him being the nervous one made it easier to confess to him.

'That’s great.’ He smiled. You chuckled, it was such a Namjoon thing to say.

'Can I do something?’ You asked biting your lip again.

You watch him nod, his eyes looking straight into Yours as you tried to muster up enough confidence. You counted down in your head a fast 3…2…1 before pressing your body against his and kissing him. It was a shot peck, you were too nervous to go for the real thing. It was a good thing he wasn’t though. He’d smile at you and lent in a way that rolled you to your back, your head now resting on his arm. All in one swift motion his free hand cupped the side of your neck gently and his lips were brought down to yours.

Your heart fluttered, his kisses were just hard enough to be serious and just soft enough to be careful. It was a slow kiss that you couldn’t help but smile into. The feeling you had dreamt of for so long finally coming true and it was even better than you thought it could be. After the initial shock of kissing Namjoon wore off you were able to think enough to snake your hands around his neck, your fingers now nervously running over the ends of his hair, causing him to deepen the kiss.

It moved faster now and soon his tongue was caressing your bottom lip. You breathed in allowing him to take control of the kiss, not even caring if his tongue dominated yours from the get go. Despite how heavy the kiss was now it didn’t mean his free hand was. Some time between your grip on his neck and the introduction of tongues his hand had moved up allowing his thumb to run softly over your cheeks.

The loss of breath slowed the kiss down till it was just you two laying there with your lips pressed gently together in one last final kiss. Removing his lips from yours he’d place his forehead on yours and break into a smile.

His smile was contagious and soon the two of you would be giggling softly as he rolled onto his back and pulled you closer to his chest. There wasn’t much more to say, what what was left could wait until the morning. You laid there letting sleep take over you again, this time with a blushy smile on your lips. A quick decision burst through you and as quickly as you thought of it you were reaching up to kiss his cheek causing a dimply smile to form before nestling your head back on his shoulder. He responded by tightening his arms around you and just like that, within seconds you two were fast asleep.

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep24

This is a buildup ep for the finale. looks like furuba’s tradition for awkward buildup eps continues as this ep is clearly divided into two parts: machi & zodiac banquet.

-Killing the Vibe (furuba style):

Usually when writers buildup an emotional moment, they either go with it right away or if it is not its time, they slowly dissolve it or gradually redirect the story somewhere else. But the most important thing is that you hold on to the feeling they worked so hard to build but know that it will be dealt with later. Usually this is done with minor visuals such as quick flashback to the main event & the character taking deep breath ignoring it. But it is acknowledged that now it is not the time. Furuba doesn’t do that. If they build high moment & decide it is not the time to continue with it, they drop it abruptly, using the ending ost as a closing sign....which is odd cuz this is not episodic eps but continuing plot. They did it twice now: (a) tohru’s nightmare ep 19. it was treated as cliffhanger, but the next, we opened with yuki’s narrative where we see tohru normal. I know tohru’s issues will be dealt with later, perhaps season 3. But the nightmare moment was left hanging weirdly!! we never saw tohru deciding not to focus on it or anything! then (b) the kyo/tohru moment on stage & the symbolic tearing image ep23. Big moment which I  know will be focused on later. But it is so freakin odd that we see them so normal in their daily activities..as if nothing happened. Not a slight visual hint that either one is troubled... I praised how in ep, 23, they showed tohru face worrying abt bits & pieces here & there. These visual hints connects the plot.. For a moment I thought Cinderella play is a filler!! but I don’t think so, since 3 major things happened (Tohru’s near confession, machi’s opinion of yuki, arisa’s recorded outburst) two of which dealt with this ep. I know they want the focus to be on yuki, seeing that his plotline is moving smoothly without awkward breaks, but why not smooth out the other’s plotline with minor visuals without the jarring jumps. Ending ost is not automatic shifts in continued plot. Oh well, it is a minor thing I felt, no big deal.

-Machi pov is here!:

I never expected to see machi today! nice surprise! So machi is not only lonely, she lives alone! that’s odd & tragic! how can a junior high school student live alone? since when was she living alone? & her mom calling to check on her or insult her or scold her! I never wanted a phone call to end this fast. Machi’s monologue was amazingly done. Rather than describing her feelings to us or stating what we are already seeing, the words came cold.. automatic.. slow.. without much emotions. Exactly imitating how machi feels abt herself. DULL. She never thought abt things such as fave color or fave place. never thought abt anything that requires personality or preferences. The imagery they used while she was walking in the street is epic! It explained her mentality! honestly even if she said nothing around that time while she was walking, the image would’ve done enough! Machi was able to see the change in yuki cuz she was able to sense that yuki too was dull/boring or felt he felt so. Now he laughs, jokes, interacts, & joins outside school activities. Negating the dull persona. Now, it is only her. machi questions if she can do the same but her question comes out loaded with her negativity. Instead of can I do the same? it is “ why Am i here? Her bad habits are pulling her back & resisting the change.

- Since they’re deciding to embark into the romantic aspect of mach/yuki & to further add contrast to his interaction with tohru, machi is shown so struck by yuki’s presence, she falls. Typical romantic moment that I appreciate for machi who thinks she isn’t typical girl. but dull girl. Yuki finding the leaf & being happy that she treasures it adds to his self-esteem as it tells him that he is worthy to be treasured. I love machi’s indecisive responses! It gives her personality! as she is reluctant between denying or telling the truth. She was never in such situation, so she doesn’t know what to do!! blushing red like her leaf, machi didn’t only go with friends, she also learned her fave color! yuki, developing the future boyfriend detective sense like kyo, guessed it that machi likes red. You remember things abt ppl you find interesting! Machi felt that perhaps to yuki she is not dull, but interesting enough to want to learn things abt her!

-Tohru is a grown woman!!!

trust me to take 5sec interaction that involves my girl & write a deep analytic paragraph! Call it building sandcastles out of nothing but I don’t care! XD. tohru deserves some spotlight! I’m a bit disappointed that the scene is shown form a far to include yuki & shiggure..(WHY???. They can have their moment later! let my girl have a screenshot for a change!!) & the art quality is the lowest in the ep, lol & but whatever~~~ let’s focus on the positive side! my tohru bought sth for herself!! tohru who spent her hard earned money on buying candy ingredients for the filthy rich sohma’s instead of paying her tuition fees?!! tohru who wore a worn out swimsuit for school & didn’t see the value in buying new one ?! tohru whose school bag have seen better days as hiro said?!! tohru bough herself a scarf with pompom!!& she’s PROUD!! & she goes & shows kyo!!!! cuz she loves him & cuz in SE01 he was mad she doesn't buy herself stuff & cuz she knows he’ll be proud of her & cuz she want show off her cuteness & get his attention & cuz she wanna tease him!! Did you see my girl deliberately hit him with the pompom??? my girl is feisty!! She teases!! Tohru has this feisty, forward personality that she hides but peeks in certain instances!! Like when she teased kyo that he’s still scared of the stain on the wall..like when she calls him cute later this ep!! I’m so happy for every tiny teeny moment of tohru where she is herself & not the worrying mom or friend, when she is focused abt what she shows & what she wants & right now she wants kyo to notice her! GIRL HE ALREADY DOES! you are killing him already tohru..he’d be dead by now if he wasn’t a cat with 9 souls! XD.

-Yuki is leaving Akito’s side:

coming to the big moment in this ep. Akito is loosing yuki. Not only yuki decided by himself to attend the banquet that he avoided last year, he also talked to akito & forgave him for everything before. Yuki is letting go of the past. Forgiveness is a cure ppl! it’s the hardest achieved cure. it cuts the ties to negativity & free the person from the painful feelings. Akito knows she’ll be loosing a zodiac member soon! she reacts the same way she did with hatori! violently resisting change, violently making a statement that I’m the ruler of you. However, unlike when it was hatori, no one came to her. Kureno stopped her. but the rest went to yuki, to the rebel, to the one who caused her pain & rage. Akito is not only loosing yuki...she is slowly loosing all of them.

- Yuki continues the next step in his growth & frees hatori from his sins. By allowing himself to accept that he is not a helpless victim, yuki was able to see the others plain as well. Before, in his mind, he was the only one suffering, others are cruel, but now, he sees the criminal who erased his friends memories was also suffering all along. Perhaps yuki thinks that akito is suffering too? That’s why chose to forgive her & tell her that I don’t hate you anymore or hold grudge.

Side Notes:

I’m so glad kakeru had so little to do with machi & yuki interaction here. He is a character that demands spotlight & if his role was bigger, machi would disappear, it will be another yuki/kakeru moment. Also, since machi/kakeru parallel aya/yuki, you bet kakeru will be more involved between them in order to get closer to his sister & fix the gap like aya did, so I appreciate the moment of only yuki/machi now as it is unique moment without any parallels involved.

After learning of Shigure’s correct line, I can now see how things would’ve been better for akito, if she learned from yuki’s rebellion. loosing one is less painful than loosing them all, which she will. Shigure was eager for her to be spared the pain. or he might be eager for sth else entirely! but he wants this to end.

Shigure sure wasn’t himself this ep! he was restless & his jokes were all over the place, he nearly caused a misunderstanding between hatori & Mayko. I think shigure is hearing the curse breaking!!!!!

Rin & kyo!!!! I never knew I needed this!!! like last ep, I was celebrating hana & kyo, & the return of kyo & haru!! but rin & kyo is unique duo since it is not a teasing dynamics! it is a we-are-too-similar dynamics! XD

Kazuma is luv!! ugh!! my heart! what a man!! so caring & kind & ever so gentle! look at him going to rin to invite her! no kid should be alone in new years! look at him teasing his son!! look at him out polite tohru! just look at him!!!

I appreciate that the boys (kyo,yuki.haru,momiji) have different body types from each other. however, since kyo’s body changing is mentioned in the story many times, they focused on showing him growing since the 2nd ep of season 2 & more so in the beach arc & they steadily continued ever since!!! this ep, even with the low quality they showed his Adam’s apple & he is taller next to shishio. Also his baggy clothes help defy the lanky art style. With yuki, since his beauty is mentioned in the story, they’ve been focused on his face, giving him HD quality beauty all the time, but not much when it comes to his body. but today, he looked a lil bit older in machi’s scene? I duno if it is the new clothes or they’re finally allowing his body to grow?! I hope so. They are still making him so lanky as his legs were only a bit meatier than machi’s in the fight scene, but hey lankiness is the show’s art style, just look at hatori </3. They focused on making Momiji baby as it is mentioned in the story that he doesn’t look like a highschooler at all, but I swear he looks a bit older this ep!! right???

Speaking of hatori, hello there~ doc~ I never knew I needed hatori in Japanese clothes this much! It hid the lankiness & gave him the adult manly look he deserves!! so hot!!! I heard his grunt in my heart as he took his clothes off! XD. Soyou’re attached to the school sensie now~~ a lit bit worried your filthy buddy is putting hands on her..huh? oh!, if only you knew that your goofy pal is the master mind behind your new love story! I think he knows tho~

I never expected machi to be that cute!!! machi/yuki is so cute!

Rin sleeps sitting...like a horse? rin didn’t feel haru? i thought horses are as jumpy as cats! lol

Tohru & kyo are having quality flirting time with no interference from either shigure or yuki. lol.. shishio is amazing! XD

Kureno has the DVD now..let the war begins!!!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, SE02, Ep23

Love is in the air is the theme of this ep! All kinds of luv~ for everybody!~ kyo/tohru (main), yuki/machi(new!!), rin/haru(on going), Arisa/Kureno (dead-end?), hiro/kisa (babies to luvers...), hana/tohru/arisa (sisters love!) yuki/kakeru (friendship), momiji/tohru (cutest friendship!) kyo/haru (underrated friendship), hana/kyo/arisa (living to tease*torment* you friendship!XD), kyo/kazuma (parental love!), Haru/kisa (big brother care), yuki’s fanclub (toxic love), hana/food (OTP). What an ep!! One of a kind where you start off crying of laughter & end up crying from broken heart!

-Arisa’s second outburst:

The best thing abt this play is that you can’t tell if they’re following a script or not for the most part. XD, However, for some it IS clear when they bring in their personal feelings. Arisa was fine acting her role with improvised jokes on kyo’s expense. However, due to kyo’s refusal to meet the princess, she got angry to the point of screaming in front of the whole school & visitors? The outburst was treated seriously with climatic music, audience reaction, fellow actors surprise & narrator-san pointing out it IS personal & not scripted. But afterwards arisa is fine. Even though I’m not into love at first sight, I acknowledge it exists in fiction & in reality. No problem. But the extreme intensity of kureno/Arisa’s love is higher than everybody’s without enough basis from those two meetings they had before... Sure, she can fall in love with him, wish him to meet her.. but her outburst is too much, too painful, too heartbreaking. However if you look at her outburst as a plot device to get kureno involved once again & complicate things, bingo, you get why it was planted there. Momiji’s footage will reach him. cool. but too forced in my opinion.. everything abt their interaction is too forced, from her first outburst at his few words that got her to cry her heart out & leave the restaurant & get nearly kissed on the lips to her second outburst in front of the entire school. Arisa likes ppl who are tohru-like. The narrative hints that kureno is tohru-like. First, his clumsiness, second? being content with his unjust life? what is tohru-like abt him so far that gets arisa to scream her heart out? I’m sure we’ll see more of his tohru-like qualities. but so far, it comes across too forced for me.

-Machi SEES the real yuki:

It seems that the confirmation that any female is heading to yuki’s heart is to be bullied by yuki’s fans. lol.  Machi not seeing yuki as a prince is her unique thing. Everybody including tohru see him as a prince & put him in a pedestal. In the play yuki descended from the sky, emerged from underground, said deep lines & glowed. Yet, machi saw thro the acting. I was cheering for yuki to step in & put these toxic girls at their place. Machi can be saved by kakeru’s indirect plan, sure, but this toxic behavior has been going since ep1. tohru was saved from them by hana & arisa. Bullying is always used as a plot device in furuba & unfortunately a comedic gag (there’s an entire ep dedicated for the fanclub). Sure furuba isn’t going to fix every issue or even provide solutions. It can’t. it shouldn’t. bullying is one hell of hard issue to solve. furuba wants to use bullying for plot. no problem. but also decides to comment on it quickly? yuki & kakeru’s argument abt the proper reaction towards bullying with each one of them taking an opposite opinion while machi herself is being bullied behind them felt too philosophical & untimely. Only for all this to end with a gag. Yuki is stuck paying the consequence cuz they’re his fans?.. ok. I’d love if the entire scene didn’t involve this argument. For example, yuki finding the girls, him listening to machi’s opinion abt him, him about to step in & defend her, then kakeru makes a prank abt photo-session with yuki, unknowingly saving the situation. Cuz the whole point of the scene is for yuki to know machi is different & sees the real him! Not that I hate how things played out, it is just furuba’s treatment of the issue of bullying is always weird to me. Similar to its treatment of violence, sometimes it’s serious, sometimes it’s comedy.

-Tohru’s best visual presentation ( show-NOT-tell): YES!

I’ve complained plenty abt furuba not treating tohru with enough visual presentation when it comes to hints for her issues or thoughts. but NOT today! This ep is tohru’s heaven! Tohru was torn apart between too many things & she didn’t inner monologue abt anything, YET, the visual imagery was enough to talk in her behalf!!! They showed tohru’s reaction to arisa, they showed tohru noticing haru/rin connection, they showed tohru react to Hana’s words without showing any of her inner thoughts & it works 100%. I’m so satisfied with this kind of treatment. You can show tons of silent emotions & trust the audience to make the correct conclusions without making your character spoon feed the audience on what they’re feeling. Hana’s “ do you plan to keep on deceiving yourself, locked in the castle, until you die?” is too close for comfort! it triggered kyo to react & say exactly his reasoning behind his decision without bringing the real world “ So what if I do? Does it hurt anyone else?” Kyo is sick of believing that he’s causing harm to his loved ones (mother, father, kazuma, kyoko, tohru). He agrees to be locked till death cuz this way no one will be harmed. ONLY him. he thinks he DESERVE it for existing & causing harm to these same ppl. His response prompts tohru to forget herself & react. What did tohru say? ( you are loved? you need to live? don’t hurt yourself? ) NO. It is NOT abt kyo. it IS abt HER!!! It is the (true form ) scene again but this time symbolically with 10 times harsher consequences!!! kyo’s true form’s final scene is NOT abt kyo deciding to stay, it IS abt tohru saying what she wants. That day tohru talked abt HERSELF. “ I want to listen to your complaints cuz u listened to me”. “ I want us to stay together” By demanding things & acknowledging herself, she got kyo to come back. This time, too, she react cuz SHE wants kyo to stay. “ I wouldn’t..” It is ME. I’ll be hurt if you’re locked. it is abt ME. I need you. I want you. I’m too scared to loose you. You’ve been my true support for long time now. Don’t Leave me, too!!!. Tohru stops herself cuz tohru doesn’t allow herself to want things or even acknowledge that she is worthy of things!! Just focus on her dialogue with others “ if I’m not troubling you, it is forward of me, please allow me” she’s talking to her friends! tohru has the lowest self esteem in furuba!

-Kyo, being an expert on reading tohru, knew the rest of the line. Kyo notices she’s in love with him. but again sinners don;t deserve love! You can’t love monsters? you’ll end up hurt!! hello!! tohru bled in the true form ep. he can’t hurt her again!!! NO way!! Enough causing her pain & tears. “ I wont take anything away from you again” he said in ep, 9. So, kyo forces himself to NOT see the truth. Forces his eyes to close tight. He’s an expert on that. Last ep, his eyes were forced to open to the reality that he doesn’t really hate yuki, but hates himself. Now, you want him to un-hate himself a little & acknowledge tohru’s love? if he did, where will it lead to? they’ll both confess & live together without him telling her abt kyoko?? that’s deceit! Him telling her abt kyko? she won’t forgive him, she’ll hate him! it is better to leave with happy memories than leave after causing tohru harm. Heck! tohru forgiving him or not IS not the issue, at all. the issue is HIM. he can’t forgive himself. he’s unforgivable!

-The most tragic Foreshadowing: (Symbolism DONE Right!)

They meet after the semi-confession, things are not the same anymore! they try to awkwardly get back to normal. Kyo says “ it couldn’t be, (I won’t let my self think it)” we know why. tohru says “ I wont (let my self think it)” WHY?!!! what is the show hiding for tohru? we know kyo’s issue. it is the BEST untold issue!! but tohru? What is stopping her more than her denying herself? it gotta be convincing & deep. otherwise, the writer would ruin the best complicated emotional dilemma that she is building her climax on! I know I’ll like what’s in store for tohru. No way such writer will miss on this. This will be EPIC. The tear between them is one of furuba’s greatest visual symbolism. One image only causing enough heartache to balance & take away the laughter from the entire ep!! One image leaving you with a punch in the gut. leaving you frustrated as to “Nooooooo~ stop! get back together”. I’m not usually into romance as I’m not a romantic person, but furuba has weaved this tale of emotionally abused children with traumatic experiences & tied them together with faint romantic direction & one of the best slow burns in anime! steadily building up their romantic connection without making it forced or in your face or apparent. I still can’t pinpoint when it first happened! Well-done writer & anime team. 10/10 scene!

Side Notes:

Narrator-san is the BEST! He kept everybody in check! & did it in style!

I’d like to thank the director for bringing their A+ animators to this ep! Kyo mostly looks hot & handsome but not HD, but there’s this kyo animator that kills the kyo animation!! kyo’d have three long strands of hair on his nose & his eyes would have more light animation than the mono-light. You can TELL the eps they bring this animator on! (such as Se01,Ep5, kagura ep, etc. ) & tohru!!!! my girl was done right!!!! no weird animation, no extra small baby hands, no shoulders that start around chest area, no bangs that are drawn like they suddenly ran out of brown ink mid coloring! lol. yuki is pretty & HD in every ep & so is hana!!

Hana is the prettiest furuba character hands down! 

Let’s be honest, yuki could’ve said 1+1=2 & the school would’ve celebrated his wisdom! XD. I kinda wish he’d deliberately say sth stupid jst for the heck of it. part of breaking the perfect yuki image. XD.

The opening gag of the men ogling kisa is the most unnecessary scene in furuba, eww~ Not funny!

why is every character MUST be part of romantic couple in furuba? Even children? & they have their own mini love complications with jealousy & misunderstanding, pinning & all. lol

Kazuma. that’s it. that’s the note.

Hana was mocking fiction tropes (animosity in families, traditions pressuring youth, helpless heroine, love at first sight! XD, romance for romance, happily ever after romance, main male protagonist loving main female protg, magical beings saving the day). Best play ever!

why does it feel like kyo just came from war? XD. He was in last ep. perhaps cuz he was absent for most of the season after kagura’s ep, with cameos here & there, few lines & not much focus. But they made up for it & brought his face expressions game up! from annoyed, cat ears, love struck, teased, blushing, a white cartoon-ish cat with an orange cat inside his mouth, shirtless hot, childish jealousy for his papa, his fangs, his cat reflexes. Name it & you bet there’s a kyo face for it. XD.

Speaking of funny faces, prince yuki got one today! all thanks to machi. that’s what I call women power! XD.

What is this weird skin-colored thingi? school mascot?

I love that hiro is questioning the play. XD

momiji is back, I feel that it’s been long as I last saw him!

haru is hot. Haru is kind.

I love the small awkward tension between kyo/tohru as they met after the play, tohru’s faint sweat drops as she does her closed eyes smile & kyo’s sweat drop as he takes the food from her & talks abt shisho.

Shisho & kyo mini manga. is it published yet?

kyo & hana’s interactions are life!!!! XD.

Ayame deserves praise! costumes on point!!

Hana wins the one liners game. sorry haru, XD.

You know it is serious when kyo monologues! I used to think, it happens ONCE a season (ture form SE01,Ep24, akito confrontation, SE02,Ep,9)!! but he got one or two inner monologues lines today, if you count him repeating tohru’s line! Sh*t is going down! Will I hear more before the season ends???!! or will the honor goes to tohru?!! I can’t even imagine what’ll happen next!!!!

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket SE02, Ep16

i believe there are more than one foolish traveler in Furuba with varying degrees of altruism, kindness & selflessness. The core idea of the foolish traveler story wasn’t to encourage kindness but as a somber warning that such kind souls are taken advantage of by others due to their altruism. The story don’t teach you to stop foolish travelers (you can’t), but take from their kindness without “killing” them in the process. So far three foolish travelers:

Haru is healthiest example. already discussed in past posts.

Momiji: stands in the middle. His story is cruel yet he tried to find the balance between giving too much vs caring for his own self. (more on how/why in his dad’s section).

Tohru is the prime example & the real version of foolish traveler story. We’re watching her collapse under the pressure of always giving too much of herself. We saw too much in SE01, now she’s entering the lion’s den on behalf of Arisa’s lost love. Many examples with many emotional scars after each reckless decision.   

Will Tohru meet the same end as the traveler in the story? Will she give everything, gains nothing & say thank you? or will she acknowledge her own needs as rightful, stand up for her desires, not for altruistic reasons, but cuz SHE wants sth for herself & SHE acknowledges that SHE deserves to get what she selfishly wants!

The Villagers/demons in the foolish traveler story:

In the story the villagers/demons took advantage of the traveler’s kindness & killed her. In real life, these villagers aren’t strangers, they’re family & friends. They aren’t demons, they’re loved ones who truly love you. Still some take advantage of you. How many times have you seen someone kind be content with so little as long as others happy? they ask politely, the person feels obligated or too kind to say no. Until one day. they ask for too much & if the person refuses. They’re shocked/offended & hurt. All while feeling the person is okay cuz he/she never asked for more. That’s momiji’s dad. He loves his son dearly but wants his wife & daughter more. Momiji understands. He always does. He’s a mature boy. Asking momiji to pretend he isn’t his son, to live apart, to quit his hobby. Every time momiji said yes. How could he not? he loves his mom/dad, wants his sister to enjoy the family he never had (selfless desires). But he also wants his sister to know him! to perform for his family exclusively. (selfish desires). Two desires clash. Momiji is sad & broken.

How is momiji different from tohru then?

Momiji acknowledges his selfish desires. He knows he deserves them. He openly speaks when tohru asks him. Hence, he’s rewarded. His sister wants him as big brother regardless of blood relations, She seeks him thro tohru. Momiji will get his sister sooner or later despite the cruse/trauma.

What abt tohru?

Tohru embarks on a reckless adventure using Arisa as a front. She convinces herself that’s it’s purely for a friend. It isn’t. she knows it, ashamed of it, denies it. hides it. Doesn’t open up to momiji .Keeps it all inside. She breaks down seeing all these living ppl yearning for each other yet choose to stay apart. Thoru would do everything she can for one extra moment with her mom. hear her voice once more. just once. grief returns full force a year later to tohru, cuz it was never giving a chance to be acknowledged!. “my mom is with me” was the mantra she lived by. As tohru refused to acknowledge her mom’s absence, the pain grows & the loss intensifies. The void in her heart where her mom used to be while alive, is no longer filled by her mom’s memory. Why? cuz it’s been a year!!!!! it gets harder & harder living after a loved one leaves the longer time passes cuz you can no longer deceive yourself, cuz yearning becomes harder, cuz their voice, laughter, smell, presence fades as time passes & it hurts! like million knives stabbing you. How dare you feel they’re fading? How dare you NOT remember them each & every moment. How dare you let them go~ oh tohru~ I feel you. I know this feeling very well, unfortunately.

The tears of yearning & loss fall again:

The rooftop scene is another example of brilliant writing. The writer sweeps stealthily into our minds duplicating another roof scene as early SE01, Ep 4! This time the writer switches places to showcase growth! brilliant!!. The two scenes parallel each other to the smallest detail of one crawling/walking towards the other. Ep.4 rooftop scene marked the beginning of tohru breaking thro kyo’s harsh exterior, getting him to open up abt his precious master, she earned his awkward trusting smile. This time kyo broke through tohru’s mask once again, noticing the tiniest details of her dirty clothes & down spirit. He doesn’t push her too much. He gives her enough space to talk & keep the parts that she wants hidden. However, this time they’re both different ppl than when they were in Se01, ep.4.

tohru is openly down, sitting more comfortably in her pajama. She’s the one who escaped to his quiet rooftop. She didn’t apologize for taking his spot, didn’t fret abt annoying him. She was at ease in his space/place. She let her guards down & altho she kept her secrets, she tried to convey her feelings of sadness. This is a New Tohru. A tohru much more comfortable with herself around kyo to start complaining without much urging.

Kyo’s entire demeanor is relaxed & chill. from the way he walks, until how he sits so close to her to the way he extended his hand & wiped her tears. While kyo initially misunderstood that tohru had boyfriend, he wasn’t wrong at all in associating her words with romantic love. “you want to be with someone you like, want to be near them” That’s him!! despite deciding to not pursue tohru, being near her is the entire purpose of him still existing in this house. The uneasiness he feels with time running fast before graduation/confinement is all due to him feeling not enough time to be near her! Altho kyo believed tohrun not having a boyfriend, realizing that tohru might have one eventually hurt him deep. Yet, he’s determined to be The New Foolish Traveler in Tohru’s Story. I’ll give my life in return for your happiness. I don’t mind dying in a cell if you you could smile. even if you love another man. I don’t matter. I’ll wish for YOUR tears to stop. He tells her that but with kinder words. “i’ll support u if you have one”. Tohru got it. She got the true meaning mixed with a hint of misunderstanding that stems from her inferiority complex: (I won’t be with you. You’ll loose me. I’ll soon disappear from your life. This quiet moment together will soon be a memory. I’ll die in a cell & you won’t be with me = truth). Misunderstanding: (I don’t love you romantically, I’m just kind to you = tohru’s low self worth will hinder her from seeing the obvious that could be seen from the moon! this boy is melting for her). ~~Tow foolish travelers on the rooftop~~

Side Notes:

The anime disappoints me again with the tohru’s over-dramatic animation.I wanna ask the director: are we reading the same story? Tohru’s pain breaks thro my laptop screen & suffocates me. You don’t need to add this over exaggerated convulsive movement to her. Why only her?? You can’t extract extra tears from us with such addition. it backfires. it makes us laugh/go wth! be annoyed. Am i the only one who feels weirded out by tohru’s animation during emotional moments? Take out tohru’s convulsive 5sec movement & you’ll get 10 out of 10 heartbreaking scene!.

Kureno.. i duno.. sth is off abt him & i can’t figure out what! like.. i don’t feel he’s bad/evil or anything.. he feels like nothing, which is the weirdest feeling I’ve ever had abt a character. I’ll hold on talking more abt him for now until I see more of him.

Who is this blind lady? Her red bright nail polish reminded me of kyoko’s.

Tohru’s voice over on top of shots of momo/momiji/ kureno is epic! cuz her words have already been established in the scenes we saw in the ep. It didn’t ruin or foretell anything we haven’t explored within the ep. Add violin music that is actually played by a character within the ep, add moonlight light that all characters look at now, add the fact that her words describe her current situation with kyo & add kyo’s response! Brilliant! I’ll give the Director the credit he deserves in this scene. It was one of the best visual scenes in furuba & it works more cuz it was given space to play out naturally. nothing seems forced or consciously inserted or inconsistent or overplayed. slowly moving the camera to the sky above shigure’s rooftop & close the ep with one last callback to ep, 4. old scene ended with kyo smiling, now we hear tohru’s small laugh, . subtly telling you~hey, we went full circle with these two & you didn’t even realized when & how~10 out of 10!