#every second of him on screen is precious and you DARE to ROB US ALL from MORE OF HIM

[russianyoshkinaneko]

Frankenstein Unbound (1990), title drop.

[hacash]

ted lasso thoughts 2x08

hey, remember when everyone was worried that Ted Lasso Season 2 had too much fluff and not enough conflict? huh? everyone remember that?

everyone remember when we watched this because it was light and hopeful enough to get us through lockdown?

remember last episode when we thought all the dark forest would be about nate’s downward spiral and thought nothing else heavy could happen?

hell, remember when we first saw jamie tartt and thought there was no way we could sympathise with him as a character?

I’m not going to lie, the dark forest is dark and it is scary, but even in the midst of the trees there’s flickers of light. jamie’s entire storyline in this ep was building scene by scene - we could feel the tension growing, from that first screenshot of his phone saying “Dad” (not Dad, “Dad”, I mean fuck this show) right up to the moment when Tartt Senior bursts into the changing room. If Phil Dunster doesn’t get an Emmy nomination next year he will have been absolutely robbed - and then to put the icing on the cake, having Roy be the one to step up and hold him through the pain. I mean, damn.

A little underrated scene was Jamie and Higgins chatting: there’s no way in hell Jamie would have taken the time to so much as pass Higgins a word one season ago, let alone ask if he wanted the door to his closet-office closed. I particularly appreciated Higgins’ chat about his own father - it wasn’t straight-up ‘screw your dad if he’s a bad dad’, but neither was it a ‘you should always be there for your family no matter what’ message that children of abusive parents often get from well-meaning but ignorant bystanders, once again showing that Higgins picks up on more than not. Personally I’m waiting for Jamie to be invited around to the Higginses for Sunday lunch.

The shock on the entire Richmond team’s face through that scene. Oh man.

I never thought they’d have the audacity to kill off Sharon before the credits but whoa that still had me yelling at my screen while the theme song was still playing. I love how we’re seeing more of her as a character, not just a therapist. (And hearing her voicemails to Ted were something else.)

Ted. Oh Ted. I think a lot of us knew it was coming but still, that line hit more heavily than anything else in the episode. The bluntness of it coming out of nowhere - the fact that Ted is unsure whether or not that was what gave him his issues - the fact that we’re still scratching the surface... *weeps in football*

The Diamond Dogs exchanging vulnerabilities was such a precious moment. I’ve seen some say that they thought Nate’s expression was one of disgust at Ted’s revelation, and some that they thought it was relief at not being the only one struggling with mental health issues. For myself, I read it as shock - Nate’s always seen Ted on a pedestal, and the idea that your idol can suffer from the same weaknesses as you...well, that’s always a heavy moment. (Whatever it was, I’m sure it’ll come back to bite us in time.)

SAM ‘N REBECCA. It’s a testament to the two actors that even though everything in me feels iffy and odd and that this ain’t a good thing, their chemistry and acting is so good that you end up thinking ‘oh man, I wish this was workable for them’. Rebecca knows it’s not going to work, but comes up against Sam’s irrepressible youthful charm and hope, and after everything she’s been through...suddenly it’s so easy to understand why she’s sailing so close to the wind. But it’s almost definite that this ain’t gonna work out, and all we can do is hope like hell it ends as well as possible.

Seriously, look me in eye and tell me that if Toheeb Jimoh came up to you looking like he did all through that episode and asked to have dinner that you’d say no. I dare you.

Is Roy’s sister the doctor from the ER???? I really hope she is.

Roy taking on board everything he learned about being a good role model for Phoebe and comforting Jamie is just...just... *flails*

There wasn’t much to laugh at in this episode but my boy Colin never lets me down. That dumbbell scene had me cackling. Seriously, someone protect him. (I particularly loved the fact that we have Overprotective Boyfriend Isaac lambasting him for letting Colin nearly choke to death and then thirty seconds later does the exact same thing.)

THE HAIRCUTTING SCENE. There are no words other than cinematic masterpiece. I remember thinking at the beginning of this season that I wanted more for Isaac to do and to see him coming into his own as Captain and holy hell did I get my wish. Watching all the boys hoot and applaud and gush over Isaac’s effortless mastery of the clippers was the purest form of ‘boys will be boys’ I have ever seen or will ever see. (Until the next Richmond Himbos scene, ofc.)

And as a nice touch, watching Will take part and be included (holding the clippers’ tray ‘like a squire to a knight’) was lovely, particularly given the last episode.

The football match itself - it says a lot that this wasn’t even the focus, only as a tool to make our hearts break even more for Richmond FC - was hard to watch, particularly because it really felt like we were meant to feel like they just weren’t playing well? and I don’t quite understand why - I’ve already written about how Nate kinda had a point in this episode, that Roy and Ted dashing off for emergencies without telling anyone what they were is weird under any circumstance (let alone before such an important match) and possibly is a sign that while the team themselves are stronger than ever, everything is not quite well with the coaches of Richmond.

(seriously: ‘Sharon’s in the hospital and I’m going to make sure she’s ok’ ‘My niece has an emergency at school.’ Would that have been so hard? From a show that prioritises communication?)

And I really didn’t understand that little moment of Beard letting Nate - a junior coach, before a really important match - lead training. That, coupled with Beard being focused on as struggling to take the result, really intrigues me. It could be nothing, but so often this show drops little nuggets leading up to a big reveal, and the fact that the next episode looks to be Beard centric has me very interested, and more than a little anxious. As I am leading up to every episode of Ted Lasso these days, I suppose.

[cupsofsuga]

𝐋𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 ━ 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 *:·。.

{ ⚠️} WARNING - This is a yandere au, meaning the following may be triggering to some viewers.  I am not trying to discriminate the boys in any way, this is for entertainment purposes. Viewer discretion is advised!!!

{ ☕️} NOTE - this is in the order of the member’s obtained! thanks for the request, daisy! also, creds for idea goes to @bangtans-apollo​!!!

{ 💐} ANON ASKED - ❝ Headcanons on how the fanclub discovered each other and reacted to each other’s obsession for YN? ❞

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊𝐉𝐈𝐍

ah, the melancholic suffering of a lovelorn teenager

how he holds nothing but an eternity in the crevices of his heart

the serene sunlight, words dripped in saccharine, cloyed gestures

nothing hurts more than praying to whatever god truly exists that you’ll return the adoration but finding the fatal fate of no response

and that leaves jin now, seething with envy that could intimidate a pack of wolves

how dare the teacher not pair you up with your soulmate!? it’s just blasphemy!

someone gets to soak in the glitter of your presence, they get to bathe in the rain after a century in sunlight

all while he has to waste precious hours of his time with some plastic nobody

he has to waste time with bland, boring kim taehyung

he’s a dull star amongst a million planets, a saturated wasteland amongst an oasis of color

and how jin’s blood burns seeing that you flash that summer smile to someone who most certainly doesn’t deserve it

ditching the dinner date with his soulmate, jin is forced to work on this godforsaken project with the loner

if only you two had run away when you got the chance, relishing in each other’s warmth as he holds the privilege of looking into your eyes, which he finds resemble dewdrops held upon spider’s silk

that is the honeyed heaven he so badly craves to taste

and as he stumbles around taehyung’s adobe, the curiosity held within jin get’s the best of him as he stumbles into his bedroom

and oh god, what secrets did he uncover

your face, his lover’s face plastered all over the walls and ceiling

some even had his face punctured out of them, some taken without your consent, one’s that jin even took himself

and there’s that one sweater you once ranted to jin how you swore it vanished into thin air, and how he teased that ghost in your attic probably snatched it

if it was physically possible, there’d be steam seeping out of jin’s ears

he clutches his fists so tight, there would most likely be blood drawn; he clenches his teeth so tightly, he fears they might crack under the pressure

but, before jin turns tail, he then sees taehyung as fear swims in his irises

and then jin feels it,

a revelation, an act of generosity

❝ i think you could be useful… ❞

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆

with every breath he takes, there lies humiliation

shame, a ruthless emotion he swore he’d never live to see the depths of

the summer amongst the dark clouds, all lied on a silver platter for your supposed boyfriend to see

but there is kindness in jin’s eyes, a sliver of evil dripped with every word he speaks

and therein, we have witnessed the blooming of the “writing club,” whose only members were lovelorn kids who’ve infatuation got the best of them

with some sugar-laced words, jin had managed to maintain a room for their meetings after school, taehyung quickly ditching his art club for these fleeting moments spent with the man closest to his love

no, taehyung had never been fond of jin, but, holds undying respect for him, anyways

his heaven lies in his words, his sunlight is seen in his eyes, the fate he craves so desperately is clutched in his hands

and it’s only so long before his grip weakens, and taehyung can rob jin of his pleasures in his moment of vulnerability

but, that future must wait as it frolics in the back of taehyung’s head

he must gain the trust of your childhood best friend before he catches his infinity like a firefly in a jar

but, with that being said, taehyung doesn’t mind all the hours he spent huddled in the tree outside your house, hiding behind a canopy of leaves as he admires the dream before him

he’ll sketch your face (which he can now draw from memory) in his notepad, ethereal poetry and doodles held around your sparkling face

he’ll snap a few photos, catching the fireworks and shooting stars in the purity of the fleeting moment

to simply have the privilege to love you silently holds the light of a million stars

oh, how he loves you…

how the earth bruises your cheeks, the moon litters your skin, the stars possess your eyes and the rings of saturn held in your touch

there’s pure bliss within every heartbeat lept

and there’s only so much time before he has you all to himself

he just hopes no burden will stop him from such…

━━━ 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐎𝐎𝐊

the student’s that litter around these halls resemble parasites

all feeding off the others, annoying them with their deafening disunity, and all trailing behind others like burdens

but, there’s always been that one, that one that stands out like a sore thumb

bland, boring kim taehyung

a boy capable of summoning enough envy and rage within jungkook to crumble planets to nothing but ashes floating throughout the galaxy

how he denies his infatuation for you with red cheeks, but anyone with eyes can see those “adorable” dimples puncture his cheeks whenever he sees you in the halls

how he isn’t burdened by the overwhelming fate of unrequited love, drowning in his jealousy when you simply look at someone else

how he stalks in class you like a hawk would to prey, probably undressing you with his eyes like the freak he is!

how he simply exists, and how it makes jungkook churn with rage

and that leaves him now, dodging students as the race out of the school, hot on the tail of his rival

he must end him before he could potentially hold your heart in his hands

that single idea makes jungkook gag…

he hears taehyung’s voice, shoving a scoff back down his throat that could potentially jeopardize his identity

there’s another voice, too, but, jungkook assumes it’s another one of those art freaks who’s also pretentious with coincidences

then there’s your name, and it would’ve sounded like it was dripped in gold if it didn’t leave the mouth of his sworn enemy

and then he hears of this writing club, and jungkook seethes

these lowlifes get to breathe in the fragrance of those fleeting moments, which is a fate jungkook whose he is well-deserving of, not them

to simply touch the crevices of your soul carved in silk for just a mere second is a privilege

and letting these cretins possess that opportunity is simply unholy

despite holding a burning hatred for the rest of the memories, for you, jungkook would drag himself through the depths of hell

he just prays that the club members don’t pray too far under his skin

he doesn’t know if he can control himself.

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍

oh, y/n l/n…

an angel in the purest form, a humid june afternoon

they are a touch softer than autumn’s breeze, their word’s sharper than winter’s embrace, eyes starlit like the dreamy land of springtime, their presence like the bliss of summer and the melancholic longing after it’s demise

they hold within them the entire galaxy and namjoon can’t help but stare

but, there’s another pair of eyes

and they are burning bullet wounds into his soul with a craving to mutilate him swimming in their irises

as the bell rings its tumultuous song and deadbeat kids begin to litter the halls, namjoon is suddenly shoved against the locker by no other than the modern-day jeffrey dahmer

jeon jungkook, dust amongst a field of flowers

his sadistic pleasures and his lust for blood, the holy scent of iron that smoothes out all the creases

❝ if i catch you staring at my Y/N like that again, i’ll tear you apart limb from limb. ‘got it, dipshit? ❞

he is in all means terrifying, but, is nothing but a little boy to namjoon

time has passed, a damn near million tabs are held upon the screen all containing the history of namjoon and his family’s wealth

jin, who had been reported the incident by a fuming jungkook had found an opportunity in the depths of his teenage angst

he’ll feed into namjoon’s desire to touch you across hundreds of separating years

he’ll pray into his craving to kiss you as the naked moon sets for the final time

he’ll reach into his heart and use namjoon for his benefit

and how the rest of the members all fed off of his wealth like parasites

anything their little heart desired, they’d hold in their possession

as much as namjoon longs to deny them pleasure, he had been threatened to lose his place in the club and every inkling of access he has to you if he dared disobey

and namjoon would rather die than lose his love to the eternal night

the strange and enigmatic masterpiece, the ancient moon across a sea of stars

his violet lover has been sawed through by nostalgia, and his infatuation glows harder than a summer sunset

although jin’s intentions have a mile or two to run before they stab him in the back, namjoon still has a clear vision of his goal

and there shall be no burden before he meets his longed fate.

━━━ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊

you, a flower itself, flood his brains like a tsunami to a pitiful city

you, a strawberry in winter, hold sly ways of slithering your way into the recesses of his heart once more

that leaves jung hoseok here, letting the teacher’s words fade to white noise as he doodles your name adorned with hearts on flowers in his notebook

there is distant gossip and whispers that echo from afar, which hoseok picks up due to his childlike curiosity

it begun with useless chitter-chatter, then dissolving to the melodic sound of your name which tumbles from their lips

he listens as the two boys curse the teacher for giving you a D on your exam, them mentioning this supposed ‘club’ that circled everything around you

hoseok was smart, he could raise your grade!

oh, how hoseok would just die to help you with your studies!

with a paradise sparkling in his eyes, he sparks up a conversation with the group, also known as kim namjoon and jeon jungkook

but, the doe-eyed teenager hisses at him, barking at him to ‘keep his fucking mouth shut’

he takes the hint, leaving the conversation with a silent ocean welling up in his eyes

but, this is the embodiment of hope that sits in this dull classroom

he’ll crawl around the corners of his soul till he’s enervate to retrieve what he has longed for

and that leads us up to now, as hoseok stalks to the two from a safe distance, watching as they disappear to the writing club

and just before the door closes, hoseok peeks through the crack of the door and finds the identity of kim seokjin, a boy he’s seen accompany you multiple times

the following day, while the students all stare in confusion for the small boy walking through the halls, hoseok finds him and confronts him

by the look of purified fear, this ‘writing club’ was a hushed secret, and him knowing of this secret was dangerous enough, as it is

after negotiating about how he’d contribute to your satisfaction, jin had no choice but to accept his offer

he doesn’t want this loud-mouthed kid to run up and down the halls preaching about their sins, anyways

the rest of the club members didn’t favor his arrival, all shooting looks of envy and hatred

but, there was no other choice

their fate is written in the stars and complimented with a wax steal upon an envelope.

━━━ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍

opening his locker, jimin finds a taste of eden’s garden as he finds your face strung upon the wall

there’s irises, rivers, fairies, and peaches within the single picture cutout from the yearbook as he sighs dreamily at the sight

his daydream of honeyed days is quickly disrupted as his best friend, hoseok interrupts his thoughts with stars circling in his eyes

before he can find the words to scold him, hoseok begins rambling about this ‘club’ at a rate to fast for jimin to decipher

he hears tales of his dreams, a chance to taste your beauty

this most definitely sparked his undying interest, ushering his best friend to continue with his intentions to get the boy warped in this world

thus, we are taken to the night where the clock reads 3:38 AM in it’s bright, neon hues

the boys would never dream of staying up this late, especially on a tuesday night as the fear for the scolding of their parents’ echos, but, the adrenaline that seeps through their veins serves as a protection

because of the prophecy of this new club, they are rebelling

and as a new day rises and the sun shimmers in all of its celestial beauty, the boys have come up with a plan

every club needs a mission manager!

and who else would be perfect for this job no other than park jimin…? right?

well, let’s just say, despite his unreasonable, childish, and almost dangerous plans, the rest of the boys weren’t happy upon his arrival

the sighs of annoyance to his careless nature, the scoffs of envy when he speaks words of poetry about everything as little as when you made eye contact that one time 2 months ago

jimin’s contribution isn’t favored, but, if it’s for you, all 6 boys are willing to drag themselves through hell and back

every member holds an undying love for the god/goddess themself, all possessing a wild heart that they’d bled dry if you asked

and jimin is just one branch of the group who also holds an intense infatuation

the water to his parched heart, the flowering spring in a winter haze

he has found the sun as it shimmers against the snow

and nothing is as holy as this.

━━━ 𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈

another dull day at the café, yoongi listens to his longing for spring’s voice

his hatred for this place burns bright and softly, as he dwells in the anger held within his small body

the college kids, the early morning joggers, all possessing ways of churning yoongi’s anger, one-by-one

obligated to put on a plastic smile for their sake has wars prancing through his head

but then, there’s you

oh, and those lively eyes he craves to gaze into for eternity and the soft furrow in your brow when you stare at the menu

he is mesmerized and listens to the songs of summer as he drowns in your stare

you haven’t taken notice to the hearts that swirl within his eyes as you order, unfortunately, and therefore leave a boy longing for a taste of the sun

during this fit of a daydream, 6 boys stumble in, all conversing at abnormally obnoxious levels

yoongi has to shove a scoff back down his throat and bring a halt to the urge to roll his eyes and dresses himself in the facade

as they all order and then continue their chatter elsewhere, yoongi can resume his illusions about your sparkled presence

whilst in the process of finishing a cappuccino, he hears the sugary melody of your name

he freezes, then concludes he must be hallucinating, resuming the process of the drink in his hands

after all, spending hours upon hours in this sacred place causes his mind to go hazy at times

the lilied waters of your eyes, skin like roses in the evening

you are so, so very loved by the boy at the café

starting up the hot chocolate with “extra sugar,” he hears it once more

does he need to stretch out his sleeping schedule or was this real?

were they truly speaking of you, or has he truly gone insane in the late afternoon?

peeking over his shoulder, that’s when yoongi sees it

your face was drawn upon a notepad, all fluttered hearts and empty petals around your face

the soul of the planets, the green pigment of the gardens, all held in this stranger’s arms

with determination, yoongi is required to learn more of this guest who spoke hushed tales of you

he’d do anything to know more about the star who enlightens his grey days

and now, the club is complete.

[calpalirwin]

Change Your Mind

Summary: Calum runs into an old flame

Word Count: 2.4k

And away, and away we go!

__

“C’mon!” Calum laughed, grabbing her hand and breaking out into a run, the night air cool on his face.

“Cal, wait!” she laughed along with him, breathless as he dragged her along. “My legs aren’t as long as yours!”

“Here!” he said, an idea coming to him. He stopped in his tracks, crouching slightly. “Hop on.”

She jumped on his back, wrapping her legs over his hips and her arms around his neck.

“Aw!” Michael’s girlfriend, Amanda, mock-pouted at the blonde, swatting at his arm. “Why can’t you carry me like that?”

Michael side-stepped away from his girlfriend. “I can either hold you, or the baby. Which is it?”

“Don’t you dare drop my baby, Clifford. That’s precious cargo.”

“Your baby? Last I checked it was our baby.”

“Cutest boy this world has ever seen!” Y/N called out from her spot on Calum’s back.

“Hey!” Calum protested, loosening his hold on her legs like he was gonna drop her.

“Calum!” she shrieked.

He laughed as he tightened his grip. “Better watch yourself.”

“You wouldn’t really drop me, would you?” Her voice was a whisper by his ear.

He tilted his head to the side to flash her a grin. “Never, baby. I’ll always catch you.”

“Mmm, you better,” she warned, kissing at his cheek.

“Fuck, this is amazing isn’t it?” Amanda asked as she laid down in the grassy field. “It’s like the whole world is spread out before us.”

“Today, high school graduates. Tomorrow… who knows! We’ll make it up as we go!” Michael said with a grin.

“Tomorrow, London,” Calum came up with his answer. “We’re gonna be rockstars, Mike.”

In that moment, staring up at the night sky, the four friends’ futures never looked brighter or more tightly intertwined.

~Ten Years Later~

“Mike? You get one of these too?” Calum asked, flashing an envelope with their high school crest on it.

“Yup,” Michael responded, not tearing his eyes away from the screen and the video game he was playing with his son, Lincoln. “Can’t believe it’s already been ten years.”

“I can,” came Amanda’s slight scoff. “We got the time stamp to prove it, Mikey.” She ruffled both her husband’s and son’s hair with either of her hands.

“You say ‘time stamp’ I say ‘son.’”

“You say ‘son’ I say ‘winner’!” the ten year old boy gloated, rising to his feet for a victory dance.

“What?!” Michael stared at the screen in disbelief, setting his controller aside. “How in the?!”

“In yo face!” Lincoln continued to boast.

“Oh, yeah?” Michael asked before charging to tickle his son’s sides while the boy broke out into a high-pitched giggle.

“Mikey, stop. The boy can’t breathe. Look, he’s turning pink,” Amanda scolded.

Michael let go, looking over at his wife innocently. “So, did you wanna go to this reunion?”

“Yeah. I’d love to see Y/N again. She hasn’t seen Link since he was a baby. Oh! And we can finally meet her daughter!”

“Babe!” Michael hissed, but the damage was done.

“Y/N has a daughter?” Calum asked, body snapping to attention.

“Yeah…” his friends admitted.

“Hmm… good for her. How old?”

“Uh…”

“How old is she?” Calum repeated, gritting his teeth, his brown eyes darkening.

“Cal…” Michael started, keeping his voice low. “She made us swear not to tell you.”

“HOW OLD IS SHE?!” Calum barked, grabbing Michael by the front of his shirt. “TELL ME!”

“9! She’s 9!” The woman told him, her voice shaking.

Calum released Michael, slumping back like he had the wind knocked out of him. “9?” he croaked, tears springing to his eyes. “Is she…?” He pointed at himself

Michael nodded. “Yeah, mate. Look, this wasn’t how you were supposed to find out...”

“How the fuck was I supposed to find out then?! You two lied to me for 9 fuckin’ years! She lied to me!”

“I know! But we didn’t want to! We begged her to tell you. But she had convinced herself it wasn’t worth bothering you about. That she’d figure out a way to tell you. Mate, you gotta believe me. We wouldn’t have hidden this from you if we had a choice.”

Calum hung his head in his hands. “I can’t believe this… I can’t believe this is happening… I think I’m gonna be sick…”

“D- do you want to see pictures?”

The man nodded, and Michael fiddled around on his phone. “I saved all the pictures into an album. Here.”

Calum took the phone in shaking fingers, slowly scrolling through someone’s lifetime. His daughter’s lifetime. “Fuck… she looks just like Y/N…”

“Funny. Y/N says she looks like you.”

“Yeah, I can see it a little in her face. Are my cheeks really that squishy?”

“Yes,” was the laughed response.

Calum sighed, passing the phone back. “So, when do we leave?”

~~~

Calum spotted her the second he walked in the hotel ballroom, nostalgia hitting him like a tidal wave. Every promise whispered on skin they had broken with goodbye flashed in his head like a movie as he made his way to her. He didn’t know if he was more angry, or just flat out crushed. “What’s her name?” he asked once he was in earshot.

“Wow. That’s gotta be a record for the Cliffords. Never were the type to keep a secret.”

“Don’t deflect the blame on them. What’s her name?”

“Ari.”

“Why?”

“Cuz she needed a name.”

Calum breathed slowly. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he rephrased.

“It wasn’t your business.”

“Wasn’t my business?! She’s my daughter, Y/N!”

“Lower your fuckin’ voice!” she snarled, looking around the room before gripping his upper arm and pushing him outside like a scolded toddler.

“I want to meet her.”

Y/N scoffed. “Yeah. Fat chance of that happening.”

“Oh, so you're just gonna keep me from her for the second half of her life, too?”

“Half of her life? She’s 9, Calum.”

“That’s halfway to 18.”

“Not everyone leaves their family at 18 like you did Cal! Some people actually stay!”

“Excuse me?! That’s why?! You kept my daughter from me out of spite?! Because I had the guts to make something of myself?! In case you didn’t notice, Mike had the same story we did, and he got to do it with his kid!”

“You think you’re the only one who could be somebody?! I’ve busted my ass for the last decade to forget about all the promises we broke! And I did it all while raising the reminder of everything we were, and everything we were too scared we could be!”

“We were supposed to be somebodies together!”

“You left me!”

“I didn’t do it on purpose! I had to do what was best for me!”

“I did too!”

“I’m never gonna forgive you for this…”

“Good thing I never asked you to.”

“Oh, I can’t believe you! Who are you protecting? Her? Or you? I’m not the bad guy here. You’re the one who made a huge ass decision about our lives without talking to me about it.”

“Kinda like you did?”

“When did I ever do something without talking about it with you first?! I asked you to come with me to London. You didn’t want to. I said let’s try to make it work. You didn’t want that either.”

“We didn’t talk through shit, Cal. You talked. But you always had your mind made up before you ever opened your mouth. And you still do.”

“Then you should know that I’ll do whatever it takes to meet her.”

“Fine. She has a soccer game in the morning. I guess you could come to that.”

“She plays soccer?”

“Of course she plays soccer. She’s yours, ain’t she? Memorial Park. 9am. Don’t you dare be late.”

“I’ll be there. And hey, you look good by the way.”

“Ew,” she scoffed, but even in the dim lighting he saw her cheeks pinken. “You look… alright I guess. Your curls always did suit you better in my opinion.”

~~~

Even if Calum hadn’t seen the pictures of Ari, he would have been able to pick her out of a crowd with her wild, dark curls held out of her face in a ponytail as she ran about the field. Calum and Y/N sat in tense, but not uncomfortable silence next to each other in the stands before Calum finally spoke up at the start of the second half. “You know you robbed me of 9 years worth of mornings like this?”

“5, actually. She’s been playing since she was 4.”

“Was talking about mornings spent watching our daughter, but I’m glad you agree with me.”

“I didn’t ‘rob’ you out of spite, Calum. I know you already made up your mind that I did. And if that’s what you’re determined to believe, I don’t particularly care all that much. Like I said last night, it’s not like I’m asking you to forgive me.”

“If you think my mind’s made up, then you shouldn’t see an issue with telling me why. Humor me.”

“It’s because we didn’t need you. And I don’t say that to hurt you.”

He scoffed. “Could’ve fooled me. Were you ever going to tell me?”

“I thought about it a lot. But the longer time went on, the harder it became. I mean, I didn’t find out I was pregnant until you were already gone. I was 18 and alone. Did I make mistakes along the way? Yeah, probably. But I did what I thought was best. And calling you up in tears so you could give up your dream of being a rockstar to rescue us wasn’t on that list. I didn’t want you to resent me more than you already did.”

“I couldn’t resent you if I tried. And trust me… I tried. You should’ve told me.”

She shrugged. “Yeah, maybe. But we didn’t need you, Cal. And you didn’t need us. And all three of us turned into the people we were supposed to be.”

“Agree to disagree. You may not have needed me, but maybe I needed you guys. And maybe the person I was supposed to be was supposed to be a dad to our daughter. And I may not be able to get these last nine years back, but I’ll be damned if I don’t get the next nine. And all the years after that.”

She shook her head, eyes rolling behind her sunglasses. “It’s not that simple, Cal. You can’t undo the damage we dealt with some inspiring words.”

“And who’s fault is that? Look, I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy. But I want to be in her life. You gotta trust me here.”

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Cal. It’s not like you ran away. I mean, you did. But I had my chance to go with you. And I had my chance to try and make it work. And I haven’t asked you to forgive me because I don’t deserve to be forgiven. I had our two best friends lie for me because I was too scared to confront you myself. And I lied to myself by saying I was doing it for your sake. So you could live your dream. I saw how hard it was for Amanda and Michael in the beginning. I wanted better for us. And I’m willing to admit that maybe I went about it the wrong way. But playing these maybe/maybe not scenarios isn’t going to change the past.”

“I’m not looking to change the past, Y/N. I just want to be in her future. Don’t you think I have that right?”

“Yes. And that breaks my heart, Cal.”

“How does th-?” he asked in confusion, before the realization hit. “Oh… Because you made up your mind that I just want her. That I’ll never be over what you did to even contemplate wanting you too. Guess I’ll just have to change your mind.”

She blinked, not believing she heard him correctly. “Y- you want me too?”

“How could I want my daughter, and not the woman who gave her to me? Yes, I want you too.”

“Cal…” she warned tearfully. “If you’re lying, I’ll never forgive you.”

“And if I’m telling the truth?”

“I just might have to kiss you.”

“Pucker up, sweetheart. Been waiting 10 years for this kiss, so you can bet it’ll be a long one.”

“Who are you, and why are you trying to kiss my mom?” a small voice demanded.

Y/N snickered into her hand while Calum took in the girl with her hands on her hips and a fiery look in her eyes. “Ari, sweetheart, this is my old friend, Calum.”

Ari looked Calum up and down skeptically, her hands coming off her hips so she could cross her arms over her chest. “That answers the first part of my question…”

“Ari!” Y/N gasped in shock.

“What? I’m not wrong. Now, why are you trying to kiss my mom, Calum?” She cocked her head to the side waiting for an answer.

“Because that’s what adults do when they love each other,” Calum answered, taking the path of least resistance.

“No… when adults love each other they have se-”

Y/N’s eyes went wide as her hand flashed out to cover Ari’s mouth, pulling the girl towards her. “That’s enough out of you. Would you behave? Please?”

The girl huffed, rolling her eyes. “Fmm!” was the muffled response. She huffed again when her mouth was uncovered, hands brushing down the front of her jersey with unnecessary sass. “So, you love my mom?”

“Yes. Very much so.”

“Good. Because she loves you, too.”

“Oh, does she?” Calum asked with a smirk. “And how do you feel about me?”

“Mmmm… you’re alright I guess. As long as you don’t try to kiss my mom in front of me again.”

“Ari?” Y/N asked softly.

“What?! That was nice!”

“Get your stuff. I’ll meet you at the car.”

“Ew! You are gonna kiss him!” the girl squealed with a shudder, before running off to get her things.

“So, where were we?” Calum asked, rising to feet and closing the distance between him and Y/N.

“Right about here,” she breathed, stretching up on her toes to greet his lips.

“Ari! Who’s that kissing your mom?!” one of Ari’s teammates asked her as they giggled into their hands.

Both Y/N and Calum could hear the eye roll in their daughter’s voice as she answered with a sigh, “Oh, that’s just my dad.”

__

Tag List

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[momentsofbllove]

Alright, y’all, it’s time for me to get to the second half of Where Your Eyes Linger. I am anticipating that it’s going to make me feel even MORE things than the first half, because that’s just what these BL dramas like to do to my poor fragile heart. If you remember we left off with Tae-joo being a whiny little baby and making Kang-gook WALK HOME because he got jealous of the date he made Kang-gook go in the first place. 

Let’s see if this idiot can get his shit together. (I’m thinking no.)

EPISODE FIVE:

Okay, he has immediately regretted his decision and told the driver to turn around. There may be hope for him yet!

He’s mad... at Kang-gook... for walking home... after he told him to walk home?! Boy!

Kang-gook may love this boy but he is also tired of his shit.

Okay okay okay. We’re starting to reflect and look at our actions. This is good! This is progress! I’m proud of you, Tae-joo. 👍

So they’re in the same bed again. They definitely sleep this way every night. WHY?! What is the heterosexual explanation for this? There is none. Everyone knows there is none. Except Tae-joo. He thinks this is normal. It's not normal, Tae-joo.

That’s the second time he’s mentioned his mom! Okay, I’ve now gone from wanting to smack Tae-joo upside the head to wanting to cuddle him until he feels better. Kang-gook... go cuddle him until he feels better!

Kang-gook, you won’t even let him cuddle when he’s missing his mom!?

“I’m sad.” BABY!! SOMEONE TAKE CARE OF THIS BOY!

Oh thank goodness. Finally my precious child gets a cuddle. (But it hurt Kang-gook a little to do it and that makes ME sad!)

Okay, I really adore Hyemi. She is so awkward and precious.

HA! ‘You have a bad personality.’ I love her so much.

This is the weirdest game of dodgeball I’ve ever seen. In America we use like 20 balls and it’s like a medieval war zone with people dying left and right. This is so... tame and polite.

Tae-joo is jealous again...

 I love how they’re both fighting for a spot behind Kang-gook. Like, guys, he’s built like a bear, there’s room for you both!

Ooooooh! The betrayal!!!! 😲

And then Hyemi just runs! Good choice. Good choice.

This whole conversation hurts.

Kang-gook, that is not what he wants and you know it! You’ve been repressing your own feelings for so long, now Tae-joo is staring at you like THAT and you want to spar? You are both so useless.

The episode ends THERE?!?!!!!

Where’s the ‘NEXT’ button?!

EPISODE SIX:

Oh shit! That is the WRONG person to have see them. I don’t know what’s going on with this guy, but I don’t like him!

Okay, but now he’s trying to stop Hyemi from seeing them. Is he protecting them, or her? Either way it’s kind of sweet. Is he going to make me like him?

Bonding over disliking Tae-joo. I can get behind this. (Look, I like Tae-joo, really, especially since that ‘hug me, I’m sad’ moment. But he’s arrogant and selfish. He needs people in his life who are willing to tell him that.)

Kang-gook has been in love with Tae-joo for how long? And now he finally gets the opportunity to kiss him and he just...shoves him away. Damn your sense of propriety, boy!

WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EPISODE TITLE?!!!?!!!!!! I don’t like it!!!!!!!

But Kang-gook is very cute pulling Tae-joo around by the wrist like a naughty toddler.

Aaaand Tae-joo is being a pouty baby again.

Oof, Tae-joo is throwing Kang-gook’s words back at him.

‘If we talk about this, we can’t do this for life.’ Oh no! Kang-gook is so worried about losing him. This is not the way to fix it though!

Oh! I did not see a confession coming just like that!

Kang-gook, baby, no! I don’t think he’s acting like this because he sees you as a parental figure/care-giver. That is NOT what this is about.

“I can live without you, you can’t.’ FIRST OF ALL, NO! Second of all, HOW DARE YOU! Kang-gook, what what WHAT are you doing?!!! Why are you trying to hurt him?!

KANG-GOOK WTF?!?!!!!

This hurts and I don’t like it!!! Kang-gook, what have you done?! He’s crying, you’re crying, he’s telling you to leave! SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW!! 😢

Okay, if Kang-gook wasn’t already in love with Tae-joo (even if he’s being an ASS about it!!) he and Hyemi would actually be really cute together. Her little doll is adorable.

‘I’m not having a hard time.’ What the fuck just happened in the gym then?!!! I’m using so many exclamation points right now and it’s all your fault. Not having a hard time. Go apologize to the man you love right now!

He bought Tae-joo chocolate milk. I can’t.

OH SHIT! What happened at the house?!

There is no fucking rest here. NEXT NEXT NEXT!

EPISODE SEVEN:

Okay, so we picked up a few minutes before Kang-gook gets home to the house that has been - what, broken into? Robbed? Worse?! Where is Tae-joo?!!! - and Kang-gook says they just have to make up like they always have before. BOY! You told him the happiest you’ve ever been was when he was IN A DIFFERENT COUNTRY! How do you ‘just make up’ from that! Uhg! Boys are so dumb. 😤

Oh god, I was right! Tae-joo is gone!!!!

Kang-gook sounds so scared and lost!

Oh, that bastard! He told on them?!

Oh. Oh no. He was spying on them to protect his dad?

As if I didn’t hate Tae-joo’s dad already, now I just want to stab him in the face with something dull and rusty!

Aww, come on. I get why Kang-gook is mad, but honestly I feel sorry for this guy. Not only did Tae-joo steal 3 of his girlfriends, but then he was forced to spy on them and tell their secrets in order to protect his family. This guy is not a bad guy, he’s in the same boat they are, being controlled by the chairman. Poor thing.

Nooo! Baby, you’re not trash! You didn’t have a choice! Oh gosh, this guy (whose name I can’t freaking remember even though it was literally JUST on my screen) is now part of the ‘I will protect you, you sweet small bean’ club. It includes Tae-joo, Hyemi, and now this guy. Kang-gook WAS on that list, but he got kicked off when he was mean to Tae-joo.

Oh god. Tae-joo just kneeling there in front of his father and his lackeys... he looks so small and vulnerable! 🥺

Not only is he begging his father not to hurt the man he loves, but he also thinks he’s the only one that feels that way and my heart is CRYING!

There’s that ‘do whatever you want to me but don’t hurt the people I love’ thing again. He knows he’s in trouble, he looks so scared and alone, but damn it if he isn’t going to protect his mother, even if she’s gone. This boy!

Oh! The look on Tae-joo’s face when Kang-gook arrived! He really didn’t think he’d come.

He’s really just going to do this, huh? Take on all these people to get to Tae-joo while monologueing about how he doesn’t want to be separated from him. It’s okay. I didn’t need my heart anyway!

Oh god! That eye-contact through the window! Tae-joo looks so heartbroken watching Kang-gook get hurt!

And Kang-gook finally realizing what he feels is love while he’s bleeding on the ground, tears in his eyes while he looks at the person he has spent his whole life devoted to!

He can’t keep his eyes of Tae-joo! My heart!!!

This. Is too much. To handle.

EPISODE EIGHT:

Oh god! He went through all of that for five minutes with Tae-joo! What, to say goodbye?! No!

I want to murder this asshole and feed him to wild dogs! Stop hurting my baby! 😡 (Kang-gook is officially back on the small bean protection squad!) 

The look on Tae-joo’s face as he watches Kang-gook get beaten for him! 😢

No! Don’t go to England! Tae-joo, don’t give your father what he wants!

He sounds so broken and sad and alone. My baby!

He’s asking for one more night with Kang-gook before he goes... 😫

And now it’s Tae-joo’s turn to take care of Kang-gook. I can’t.

Everything about this hurts. Kang-gook finally confessing his feelings in return, Tae-joo refusing to kiss Kang-gook (why Tae-joo? because it would be too hard to live with the knowledge of his kiss when you know you’re leaving?).

‘My dream is to live happily, and I’m happiest when I’m with you.’

That... is the most romantic line... ever. He doesn’t want money, or power, or any of this things his father wants him to have. He just wants to be happy, and Kang-gook is his happiness. I’m just...........

Noooo! He doesn’t even say goodbye one last time?! He just leaves when he thinks Kang-gook is sleeping?!

Kang-gook’s just waiting for him to come back but he DOESN’T! 😭

What... is happening? What is going on? I’m very confused. There was a strange scene at the end of the last episode that I thought was, like... a preview for this one... but now Kang-gook is leaving the Choi’s restaurant. When did he start working there in the first place? I’m very confused. (Also... I’m sorry... that yellow sweater... is awful on him. Like... it’s so bad? And that hair cut... is so bad. This whole look on him is not good. Not good.)

Wait... are Hyemi and the not-bad-guy dating? Okay, that’s kind of cute.

Oh, ouch. Hyemi’s mom is brutal.

Aaw, and him and Kang-gook are friends now. That’s cute. But also confusing! How long has it been since Tae-joo left? It JUST happened, but everything’s changed, so time must have passed. Did I miss something?

Kang-gook: *beats the crap out of 3 trained bodyguards* Mrs. Choi: our Gook-y is so weak and frail!

Oh now they tell us! Three years?! I am not okay with this! Going to Japan to FORGET Tae-joo? I’m REALLY not okay with this! 😟

Oh god, he looks so much better this way. The blazer, the hair... so much better!

Seriously, he looks like a completely different person. He’s a very attractive man. That restaurant look was just.. so not good for him.

Oh!

Tae-joo came back for him just like he promised!!!

Haha! Yes, Tae-joo. Yes, he did get more handsome!

Yes, please run away together...

Aaaaah the ear rub! My heart! 🥰

YES! Kang-gook, get your man!

Oh gosh, is there anything better than smiling into a kiss because you’re so happy? Now I’M so happy! 💖💖💖

Okay, wow. That last episode was a damn roller coaster! This show definitely would have benefited from another hour or two to really explore a lot of these plot points, especially the three years they were apart. But I’ve read that just getting this show made in the first place was a huge success for LGBTQ+ representation in South Korea, so honestly everything this show was, was so good! So so good! (I also hear that the same production company is coming out with another one, Mr. Heart, so I’ll be looking for that one!)

[chouetteffraie]

dazatsu + you said you would let them go for the "bad things happen" bingo :3

Here you go, sammy wammy! I hope you like it!

(sparkles are completed prompts, stars are requests in my inbox)

Feel free to request more prompts! Help me get a bingo!

Chapters: 1/1

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Rating: General

Warnings: Mentioned Blood, Alluded/Implied Torture

Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakajima Atsushi

Characters: Dazai Osamu, Nakajima Atsushi

Summary: The plan had been risky from the beginning, something Atsushi didn’t have enough of an issue with to keep Dazai at peace. He feels a panic and resignation he’s only felt once before, only this time he’s stuck behind an earpiece, unable to reach out and grasp what he fears may be slipping away too quickly.

Ao3 Link: here! (added to my collection of tumblr requests)

@badthingshappenbingo

The plan had been risky from the beginning, something Atsushi didn’t have enough of an issue with to keep Dazai at peace.

When Ranpo had brought the plan up in a meeting, Atsushi’s surprise only lasted a second before he nodded, that same determined look on his face that Dazai had seen countless times before. At the time, he had to fight to keep his displeasure from showing in the form of a deep grimace. Nodding at Atsushi and forcing his lips up in an empty smile as he passed, Dazai stayed in his seat until only he and Ranpo were left in the meeting room. 

Mindlessly spinning a sucker in his mouth, Ranpo took his time to say, “Do you have a problem?”

An uneasy feeling spread in Dazai’s gut as he scrounged around for something to say. He did have a problem - he wasn’t comfortable with putting Atsushi in danger like this again. Anymore it seemed as if Atsushi was always bait for their missions, but forcing him to be captured? Logically, Dazai figured it would be okay. He knew Ranpo wouldn’t devise a plan where Atsushi had to die willy-nilly. But the small part of him that took over at the most inconvenient times, the part of him that even allowed him the relief of holding Atsushi close, was begging him to make a scene and come up with an alternative plan.

He swallowed the protests that part of him tried to throw out and stood up from his seat instead. “Of course not,” He answered with a pained smile. “I believe in your plan, and I trust that Atsushi can make it out of the situation once he’s completed the job.”

Ranpo hummed, clearly not believing him but letting the subject drop. He probably didn’t care much, anyway.

Ranpo had the same calm disposition days later, chewing on some candy while Dazai clenched the arms of his chair so hard his knuckles turned white and his fingers cramped. The screen in front of him showed the scenes from some cameras the detectives were keeping track of, but his attention was instead on the sounds coming in from his earpiece. After losing contact with Atsushi for hours, they finally managed to pick up a signal and regain communications, but a gruff voice was coming through instead. There were a few demands here and there, most requests for sentry to be relieved and to get authorities to stop tailing them. As much as Dazai wanted to tell them otherwise, the others had convinced him to agree to their demands. Now that they had gotten the taste of authority, they began threatening and taunting the agency members. Dazai couldn’t be bothered to listen to what they were saying. All he cared about were the delirious groans of pain he could barely hear in the background and a strange sense of dread climbing up to his chest that was all too familiar despite only being around once before.

“We almost didn’t recognize ya,” One of the voices said as the other laughed behind him, drowning out the sounds in the background. Dazai had to bite his lip to stop himself from yelling out and begging them to stop so he would be able to hear Atsushi and get that relief that at least he was okay. “How could we have forgotten that it was the armed detectives we were dealing with?”

Kunikida appeared behind Dazai’s desk, eyes covered completely by a glare from the many screens in the room. “Watch your tongue, Dazai,” he warned, head tilted slightly to avoid making direct eye contact. No doubt he could recognize the deadly look in his eyes, cold enough to freeze out the panic growing inside of him. “We need to keep them calm while we regain the upper hand.”

“What do you want?” Dazai asked through clenched teeth. Every muscle in his body was tensed, painful and strenuous enough to keep him on guard. 

“Just a little message, that’s all,” they responded. “Word on the street says nobody crosses you guys and walks away in one piece. We just wanna let them know that ain’t always true.”

“We’ve done everything you’ve asked us to do,” Dazai answered. He couldn’t keep his voice from sounding so rough, his chest swelling with the inflating feeling of desperation. An imaginary clock ticked down in his head as blood-splattered visions flashed in his mind, the pent-up energy ricocheting off every cell in his body. He wanted to do something - he was too close to the one thing that could send him spiraling out of control, and yet again he was helpless.

“And we appreciate that. But working together like we’re old pals doesn’t look as tough, right? You understand.” Before he could finish his sentence, a sharp cry pierced through the earpiece and right into Dazai’s heart. He couldn’t tell what they were doing to Atsushi, but an unbearable sound of agony ripped through the air for a horrifically long time until he was given a moment’s relief.

Even worse, Dazai did understand them. He understood far too well. This moment was something he had been planning on the moment he met Atsushi and that tiny, stupid, hopeful spark reignited itself. That didn’t stop his stomach from tumbling around inside of him and threatening to spill out on the ground, and it didn’t stop his heart from clenching in his chest and curling up to die. 

He didn’t mean to break. But he was getting weak, worn so thin from the strain of worrying everything he cared about would be robbed from him that he snapped. His co-workers all turned to look at him, startled as he cried out in a hoarse voice, “You said you would let him go!”

A harsh screech echoed throughout the office as he stood from his chair, Kunikida and Kenji holding his arms to his side almost immediately as if their enemy was right in front of them. Dazai kept struggling, the earpiece falling out of his ear as he tried to escape. He didn’t have a plan - it wasn’t like he could run to Atsushi and save his life - but he needed to do something, anything before somebody precious died again because he was too late.

In the midst of the struggle, Ranpo stood up abruptly, face stoic. Once the noise died down, he looked Dazai in the eyes as if daring him to challenge him (which he might try, considering he thought Ranpo got them into this mess) and said, “I have an idea.”

—

When Atsushi woke up, his entire body was aching as though he had lifted an entire building and his head was pounding. He was crunched into an uncomfortable position, someone holding their arms around him with one arm behind his back and the other tucking him close to their chest. He could hear their heartbeat steadily pumping, interrupted every now and then when he was jostled by what he assumed was a bump in the road. He didn’t dare open his eyes for a few moments, letting himself adjust to the painstaking task of maintaining awareness.

When his eyes finally did open, he saw a familiar bolo tie and immediately sank into himself, relief flooding his veins. He felt warm, and not from the trickle of blood down his skin or a rush of adrenaline. He felt safe.

Gently pushing on Dazai’s shoulder, Atsushi softly called out before reaching out to push his head. Immediately Dazai furrowed his brows and grabbed Atsushi’s hand, opening one eye lazily before smiling and leaning his cheek into Atsushi’s palm.

For a moment, neither of them said anything. Atsushi trailed his eyes down, watching the rise and fall of Dazai’s chest, until he noticed dark red pools on his shirt. 

“Is that your blood?” Atsushi asked quietly, dragging his eyes back to Dazai’s face. His mouth stayed in a small smile, but his eyes flickered with something darker, something protective. A chill shook Atsushi’s spine.

In a light, airy tone, Dazai answered, “No, it isn’t.”

Atsushi surveyed the crowd in the van with him, all slightly beaten from a struggle with his captors. He told himself he wanted to feel bad, but he couldn’t force himself to do it. Instead, he relaxed again, nuzzling into Dazai’s shoulder as he readjusted himself.

Truth be told, he was more satisfied with the answer than Dazai would ever expect him to be.

[smemerline]

Springtime (Giran X Reader)

Word Count: (4k words)

Pairing: Giran x Reader

Warnings: None

I've never posted any of my writing on tumblr before, but I signed up to do a story for someone for the BNHA Springtime event and I’m so glad I did.

I’ve never written for Giran before, so I hope I did him justice! I’m so glad I got to message you and get to know you over the past couple weeks. I really enjoyed writing this story, and hope you enjoy reading it! @pinkjeanist​​ Spring time. For most, the first day of spring represented rebirth, new life, and the beauty of the changing seasons.  For you, it was just another monday. Every day was just another day since Kagero disappeared. 

How long had it been? Weeks? Months? The days blended together until the only notable way to mark the passage of time was remembering the catastrophe in Deika City, which had happened a little over two weeks ago.  He’d disappeared two weeks before that. 

You were used to his coming and going, but this was different. It was never for weeks at a time. It was never without any sort of contact between the two of you. 

 His job required him to travel, though you weren’t entirely sure what his job was. It was something dangerous, you knew, something he didn’t want you to know about. Something involving sales, something involving clients and large amounts of money. “High risk high reward” is what he’d always called it. You didn’t pry, you didn’t care. As long as he was safe, left his work at work, and came back home at night you didn’t care how he made his money. You loved him, his occupation and frequent absences didn’t matter. At least that’s what you’d told yourself.

 The last time you saw him was in the morning, before your shift. He’d stayed over the night before, as he usually did, and you’d enjoyed a quick breakfast together. You watched from the counter of your kitchen as he slung his scarf around his neck, buttoned his suit jacket, and put on his shoes.

  “I’ll be back late tonight, sweetheart. Don’t wait up, alright?” He straightened himself up once his shoes were tied, sticking his hands into his pockets. An unlit cigarette was placed between his lips, begging to be ignited once he was outside of your home.   

It was a rule you’d always had with him. If he was gonna keep up his bad habit, it had to stay outside. It pissed your neighbors off to no end, but he didn’t care.

“Got another important meeting with a client?” You smiled, putting on your jacket and slinging your purse over your shoulder. 

“Something like that. Nothing as important as serving up lattes and frappucines. Should I bring you back a gift?” He smirked, sidling up to you. He removed his hands from his pockets and placed them on the sides of your arms. You admired the handsome features of his face now that he was close to you, from the neatly trimmed goatee on his chin to the silky grey of his hair. You pulled him down by the scarf to adorn his cheeks in quick kisses before you released him. He always offered you gifts, even if he knew you’d never take them. There was nothing he could offer you that you needed and didn’t already have. He knew this, but he always brought you back something anyways.

  “It’s a frappucino,” You corrected him, after your assault on his face. “And no, I don’t need a present. Getting to see you tonight is more than enough.” 

 “No? Nothin’ at all? Not even a new bracelet?”

“Especially not a new bracelet. Now I gotta go, I’m gonna be late.” You plucked the cigarette from his mouth and looked at him expectantly. “Have a good day, Kage. See you tonight. Love you.”

 “You too, sweets. See you tonight. Love you too” He bent down to press a lengthy kiss to your lips that he knew would delay your exit. You didn’t mind, you could run to work if you had to. Time with him was precious. When he finally released you you smiled at him one last time before heading out, his small smile the last thing you saw as you closed the door.

You didn’t see him again that day. He didn’t come home that night, he wasn’t there when you woke in the morning. He didn’t return your calls, didn’t respond to texts. He had effectively vanished. At first you worried. You thought of all the possibilities of what could’ve happened to him, where he could’ve disappeared to. He could’ve been in an accident, kidnapped, murdered and lying in a ditch. He had an assortment of ‘unsavory’ clients. Surely one of them had a grudge against him. He wasn’t the most honest businessman from what you could discern. The thought of all the awful possibilities had you sick, unable to eat or sleep. 

 You held up hope that he’d return, but as the days passed that hope dwindled. You could feel in your gut that he hadn’t just ghosted you. You were together for too long, that just wasn’t like him. He cared about you too much. He would’ve at least left a note. The only conclusion you could come to was that something bad had happened to him. 

 Once the second week passed, you began to mourn. You felt hopeless, devastated. You cried for him, even visited your favorite places as a sort of ‘memorial’, but it never brought closure. You loved him and now he was gone. Nothing could heal that kind of wound except concrete answers.

 When the tragedy at Deika city happened you barely even paid attention to the news broadcast. The broadcast of the devastation and aftermath meant very little to you, even though the damage was horrific, but for some reason as you looked at the crumpled buildings on the screen you felt somehow that your beloved Kagero was involved.

 You had absolutely no reason to believe this, but a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach caused you to believe this to be true. If he had somehow ended up in that remote mountain city, and somehow been involved in the destruction in some bizarre circumstance, at least that would’ve given you closure. So, in your mind, you tried to lay him to rest.

~~~~~~~~

 It was hard not to appreciate the floral smell in the air as you walked home from work. Flowers and plants were blooming everywhere, a tell tale sign that winter was over and summer was on its way. The cherry blossoms would be blooming soon, warmth was returning to the air, and the sun made its appearance for longer and longer each day. Though the allergens and pollen left you annoyed and stuffy, the change in seasons left you with a feeling of warmth and contentment, though there was a hollowness to it that you knew wouldn’t leave for some time no matter how many flowers sprouted up in front of your apartment building.

  Your day at work had been mediocre at best. You normally loved your job, but today just seemed to be one of those days. A coworker called off and you had to work a double, the grinder was jammed, and the stream of people coming in seemed endless. You’d left the small coffee shop exhausted, but you’d snagged a large cup of your favorite drink before you left. It was a small consolation for the day you’d had. 

 You took a long sip of your drink and sighed as your apartment came into view. It would be a good day for some takeout and a movie, you decided. You had the next day off, so you figured you might as well enjoy it. 

 As a sudden gust of air trailed through your hair you stopped in your tracks, taking a deep breath to smell the breeze. Something was off. It was faint, so faint you might not have noticed it over the smell of coffee that clung to your clothes. It was familiar, in a disgusting way. The smell of cigarette smoke was lingering, barely clinging to the wind. 

 You shook your head in aggravation. Weeks ago, the smell would’ve completely escaped your senses. You were used to it. Kagero was no stranger when it came to cigarettes. Now, the scent just annoyed you. If the smoke wasn’t coming from your significant other you didn’t want to smell it at all.

“Hope a smoker didn’t move in nearby…” You huffed under your breath as you continued to your apartment. You looked around to see if anyone was standing outside that might’ve been the culprit, but the street was empty. Rolling your eyes, you trudged up the metal steps of your apartment building to your floor. 

The smell was stronger now, just barely so, and it was obvious why. You peered at the ashtray sitting on the outside window sill of your home with confusion. It had sat empty ever since Kagero had disappeared, but a cigarette butt and some ash sat in the small dish. Had someone used his ashtray? 

How dare they. It was the one possession you had of his at your home, that was the only reason you hadn’t thrown it away. Now whatever asshole had used his tray had soiled the only reminder you had of him with their filthy ash. If you found out who it was, you planned to give them hell. 

 You huffed in annoyance once again and picked the dirtied tray up. Balancing the tray and your drink in one hand, you pulled out your keys and unlocked your door. You slipped into the dimly lit apartment and closed the door behind you, letting out a loud sigh as you shut out the world. Suddenly, someone's weight shifted on the couch behind you. You froze in place.

Had someone broken in? Was someone there to hurt you? Were you being robbed? 

You heard the person stand up from the couch and plod across the hardwood floor to stand behind you. You could feel their presence radiating towards you and a shiver ran down your spine. Cautiously, you turned over your shoulder to look at the intruder. What you saw caused your hands to lose their grip and drop everything they were holding.

“K-Kage?” You spun around, looking at him with wide and unbelieving eyes. You could feel tears begin to well at the sight and your heart constricted painfully.

“I’m here, sweetheart.” He smiled, holding his arms out for you.  He was alive.  

You- You’re here…” You looked at him dumbly, inspecting every single one of his features as he stepped closer to you. He was the same Kagero Okuta that you’d known and loved, though he looked a little different than you’d remembered. There were freshly healed scars and faint green bruises across his face. His hair was a little grayer and his eyes looked tired, even his clothes seemed worn down and abused. The pair of leather gloves on his hands were out of place too, though they took less precedence than the rest of his appearance. 

 “I’m here…And you’ve made a big mess.” He gestured to the mixture of coffee and cigarette ashes on the ground.

“Fuck the mess, Kagero!” You shouted, lunging forward to bury yourself in his waiting arms. “Where the hell have you been? I thought you were dead!”

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” He murmured into your hair. “Work got… complicated.”

“Complicated? Work being complicated means staying after hours or doing extra paperwork. Not disappearing for a month! It- It had something to do with those psychos in the Deika city, didn’t it?”

 He bristled and it was all the answer you needed.

 “What did you get yourself into?” You asked with an anxious chuckle.

 You knew he was always involved in more dangerous business, but you didn’t know it was at this scale.

 “You could’ve been killed, Kage… I thought I’d lost you.”

“I know, I know. But it’s over now. I’m not leaving you again, alright? I even brought my shit here to stay with you for a while, if that’s okay.” 

“You can do whatever you want, Kagero. Just don’t leave me again. Please. I don’t know if I could take that kind of hurt again.” You murmured as his hand stroked your hair.

“You won’t have to. Things will be different now. I’m gonna work a little less. I was thinking we could move in together, get a nice place to stay somewhere. All that sappy junk you always talked about.” He pulled you back enough to look into your teary eyes. His hand moved to your cheek and he looked at you with his crooked smile. You couldn’t help the weak smile you gave him in return.

 “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you’d gotten soft while you were away…” You teased.

“Maybe I did,” He mused, “I don’t know. I haven’t decided yet.”

You laughed and smiled as he pressed his forehead to yours. The ache that had filled your heart was gone, now replaced with an over bounding joy. 

You weaved your hands into his grey hair and pulled him tighter against you. Tears of joy began freely spilling down your cheeks as you beamed.

“Hey, hey, no more tears.” He used his thumbs to wipe away the tears staining your cheeks. “This isn’t time for crying. We’re gonna celebrate, alright? I even packed some dinner for the occasion. How does a picnic sound?”

 “A picnic? Dear god, you really are getting soft, old man.” You teased, bumping him in the shoulder.

“I’ve still got some life left in me,” He chuckled. “First, let's get this mess cleaned up.”

As promised, after you’d cleaned up he led you through town and towards a park that was familiar to both of you .

 You had no idea what he had hidden in the small picnic basket he carried, but as you held his hand and soaked up his presence you didn’t care.

He spared you the horrific details of what he’d gone through, instead explaining that it was better for you not to worry about it. He told you about his future business plans and the short break he was thinking about taking as the two of you settled in together. It all sounded wonderful, but you honestly didn’t care what the two of you did with your lives so long as you were beside him.

The walk through the park seemed like it was right out of a romance movie as you held his gloved hand. The foliage looked beautiful in the afternoon light, rays of sun bouncing off the vibrant petals of the blooming flowers. Hardly anyone was around to appreciate the beauty of the park and you liked it that way. It felt like you were the only two people in the world.

“Does this seem like a good spot?” He asked, gesturing to the patch of land you found at the top of a hill, off the beaten path.

“What’s wrong? Getting tired?” You teased him with a playful nudge to his elbow.

 “I could go for hours, babe. You know that.” He winked, causing you to roll your eyes in disgust.

“Whatever you packed in there better be pretty good to make up for that joke.” You groaned as you spread out your picnic blanket.

“I always deliver, don’t I?”

“You do, you do. But your cooking skills are pretty sub par.” You quipped as you sat down on the blanket. He joined you moments after, setting the basket down in front of you.

“Cross my heart: I didn’t cook a single thing in this basket,” He held his hand up and crossed his other finger in an x shape over his chest.

“That’s really suspicious, but alright.” You pulled the basket towards yourself and took a cursory glance inside. 

“Strawberries.” You smiled, pulling out the whole container and placing them on the blanket. They were bright red and larger than you’d ever seen them, just like the ones you could only get at specialty fruit stores. “And cheese bread. You even brought dessert!”

 “Don’t forget the most important part,” He grinned, reaching in to pull out the bottle of champagne and two glasses.

“Color me impressed, Kage.” You smiled, plucking the bottle from his hands to twist the top off.You poured two generous glasses before clinking them together and digging into your food.The moment seemed perfect, like he’d never even disappeared in the first place.

 You fit together so naturally, it was like no time had ever passed between you. You’d been on plenty of dates like this before, though most of the time it was just Kagero indulging you in quality time together that didn’t involve sitting at home. This was different, though. This date held more significance. It wasn’t just a date, it was a reunion.

When you were finished eating and had long since finished the bottle of champagne, you sat and talked, watching as the sky turned from a vivid turquoise to a mixture of pinks, purples, and oranges. You were each reclined on the blanket, heads leaning together in the middle as you watched the sky transform. 

“I really did miss you,” You whispered, turning to look into his eyes.

 “Missed you too, baby.” He smiled, tilting your head to capture your lips in a kiss. He leaned his head closer to you from where he was reclining and pulled your lips into another heated kiss. His free hand buried itself in your hair and places his other hand on your waist. The contact with him made your heart swell. You’d missed him so much. His touch, his voice, his presence, even the lingering smell of his cologne. You wanted to hold onto him and never let him go, to get lost in the moment together and forget about everything that had happened the past month. 

 “I love you,” You murmured against him as you came up for air. He hummed in response and pulled you closer to him. 

 “I have a present for you,” He muttered against your parted lips, a coy smile etched on his face.

“Oh my god,” You rolled your eyes, “A present is the last thing on my mind right now.”

“Humor me,” He chuckled, pulling away and reaching into his pocket. “I went through hell to get this for you. Practically cost me half my fingers.”

You didn’t comprehend the truth to his words, instead taking the small wooden box he pulled out of his pocket without question. You turned it over in your hands, wondering what could possibly be so important that he disappeared for a month over.

“Come on, don’t keep me waiting!” He urged you.

“Alright, alright!” You complied, peeling back the lid of the box to reveal what was inside. You grinned as soon as you saw it, nestled beneath tissue paper in the little box. The glint of the small pink quartz in the light of the sun mesmerized you. 

 “Sakura…” You breathed, pulling out the beautiful gold hair pin, the crystals at the end shaped to resemble the delicate cherry blossoms you admired so much. 

“You know,” He murmured, plucking the pin from your hand to fasten it into your hair, “There’s a lot of ancient symbolism behind these flowers.” His gloved fingers trailed along your jaw as he tilted your face to look at him.

“Oh? Are you going to share some of your ancient wisdom with me?” You placed your hand over his and pressed his palm against your cheek.

 “There’s a lot of different meanings. Rebirth, the fleeting beauty of youth, renewal. But do you know what my favorite one is?”

“Which one?”

 “Mortality.”

“Mortality?” You quirked an eyebrow. “That’s kind of morbid.”

 “It could be, but I don’t think so. These things bloom for two weeks. That’s it. They’re pretty, even if the petals get all over the fuckin’ place, and then they’re gone in the blink of an eye.”

 “Okay? What does that have to do with mortality?” It wasn’t like him to get this deep, but you were willing to listen to anything he had to say after not hearing his voice for a month.

“I don’t know. I guess they’re beautiful, but short lived. Kinda like life. We live pretty short lives. We have to appreciate them while they’re there, just like we need to live every day to the fullest and appreciate what we have while we have it.”

“Wow, I didn’t know you were a waxing philosophical.” You smiled lightheartedly.

“Nearly dying and losing five fingers will do that to you.” He smirked, leaning in to give you another kiss.

“Wait, you lost five fingers?” You went to snatch his glove off but he grabbed your hand and smiled cheekily.

“Don’t ruin the moment, doll. I might decide not to be so soft and corny tomorrow. I got some prosthetics. Real nice. State of the art ‘robotic fingers’ just for you.”

You gawked at him, flabbergasted.

  “C’mere. Stop staring and kiss me.” He pulled you towards him again. 

You reluctantly gave in, pushing the thought of his lost fingers into the back of your mind.

 He kissed you eagerly, pressing you back and leaning over you until you were flat on your back. His facial hair tickled your face and neck as he trailed kisses across all of your visible skin, letting out an appreciative groan when you exposed more of your neck for him.

 “So,” You interjected in between kisses, “Was that your way of telling me you wanna spend your life with me and appreciate every moment we have together?”

 “More or less,” He mumbled into the crook of your neck. “What do you think?”

“I think that sounds really nice, Kagero. As long as you don’t disappear on me again.”

 “It’s a deal. You’re stuck with me now, sweetheart.”

 “I wouldn’t have it any other way.” You whispered, rolling on top of him to pepper him with more long overdue kisses.

 Spring time.

 For most, it represented rebirth, new life, and the beauty of changing seasons.

For you, it represented being reunited with your lost love, a chance at new beginnings, and appreciating what you have while you can.

[hellomissmabel]

Bye Bye Brooklyn Boys (6)

MASTERLIST

Pairing: Bucky x reader, Steve x reader

Warnings: This is just so sad. Language.

Word count: 1.926

Summary: You find out Tony has made some arrangements behind your back and you decide to confront him about it.

A/N: I had a clear image of this scene in my head but it feels like I lot track of it once I started writing it down. What I was trying to convey here is her desperation, she’s looking for love and the only person that has ever given her love, is Tony, who is like a second father to her. The reader is caught up in her search for love and it feels like the only person that’ll ever love her, although platonic, is Tony. This is why she feels so betrayed, why it looks like she’s being a drama queen. Nonetheless, this is just a mask. She feels empty and has no idea how to deal with it.

September, October, November , December, January

February

One week before my grand escape, my leap of faith into the great big unknown (just kidding, it’s only Norway), I received a letter from the faculty explaining that professor A. Stark had signed over my research to a certain professor B. Banner. My transfer was effective immediately.

I was pissed, so pissed. Pissed at Tony, at whoever this professor Banner might be. Pissed at those fuckers in Norway who dare lay a finger on my precious work and at the world for treating me like a piece of shit. Because that’s exactly what I felt like.

I felt like shit.

So now I’m drunk as fuck and sitting at the desk of my ex-mentor, professor Stark. I don’t know when I got this bold or where I got the fucking nerve from to barge in like this, but I did know where he kept his fancy bourbon. I pulled out the bottle stashed away at the back of his bottom drawer and poured myself a glass or two. Or maybe it was three or four, I don’t really remember. The point is that the bottle had been almost empty and I wasn’t thinking clearly by the time he found me, legs up on his mahogany desk and singing nineties pop songs like a cat being dragged into the water. And cats absolutely loathe water.

He gently lifted me out of his chair and carried me towards his couch, my arms lazily wrapped around his neck. I’m just a bunch of dead weight in his arms but he doesn’t seem to mind. After he lies me down, the black leather welcoming me in its indulgent embrace, he tucks back a couple swirls of hair behind my ear before crouching on his knees before me. He looks me straight in the eye while he tries to talk some sense into me.

“Y/N, what’s wrong? Darling, please, tell me what brought you here and I will do everything in my power to make it better. Y/N, my dear, what has gotten into you? This isn’t like you.”

You slowly open your eyes and when you do, you are met with an abundance of warmth. You had never really taken a moment to appreciate the colour of his eyes, the shade of copper coins you keep in your back pocket and the aged whiskey you treated yourself with upon arrival. His eyes are boring into you as he measures up how far gone you are but the only thing you can think about is how gorgeous, so very gorgeous his eyes are, harbouring a mischievous sparkle and crinkling at the corners when he smiles that devious smirk you’ve grown so used to. An old fox with new tricks or at least that’s what Nat thinks of him.

But those are not the eyes you long to see right now.

“Everything is so fucked up. I rejected Bucky, broke up with Steve and this morning, I found out you robbed me of my research, shipped me off like cargo to a guy named Banner without even consulting with me first! You stabbed me in the back, you kept me in the dark. I put all my hope in you, professor, and you let me down.”

“Y/N, at least let me explain.” You could hear the hurt in his voice shining through and you instantly felt like such a bitch for putting him on the spot like that. He didn’t deserve your insults, he was just doing his job.

But your mouth is quicker than your conscience.

“No! I don’t need any more lousy excuses, God knows I’ve heard enough of those already. And you know what, I don’t need those two Brooklyn boys! What I need is a real man, a Manhattan man. Mum was right after all,” you groan loudly.

“Y/N, if you would just let me finish.” You snapped out of your thoughts at the authoritative nature his voice had taken, a tone he rarely used with you. But his eyes soon softened as he took in your astounded expression, he understood where you anger was coming from.

“Y/N, I am not the right person to assist you. I barely have time to be your mentor now, how on earth are we going to be able to work together when we’re miles apart? My good friend over in Norway, Bruce, he offered to step in for me while you’re abroad. So when you return we’ll pick up right where we left off. I’m sorry I didn’t run this through you first, but time was of the essence here. We needed the board and the ethical committee to approve on this as soon as possible and we both know how long it can take for them to review a decision like this.”

You sighed, hiding your face in the pillows to avoid eye contact. “I feel like such a fool.”

“You’re wasted, love,” Tony chuckles. “And you’re very feisty when you are, I like a girl that can bite back,” he jokes quietly, the palm of his hand resting on your cheek tinted pink with mortification. You slowly look up to meet his gaze. Tony cards his fingers through your hair, his smile telling you to not worry too much about it.

“That’s not very professional of you to say, professor Stark,” you retort, laughing lightly.

“I know, but I don’t give a shit. Feeling better already, dear?”

You nod and he helps you back up, head spinning wildly from the sudden switch in position. He sits down next to you and you lay your head to rest on his shoulder. “And please, Y/N, call me Tony,” he says as he drapes his arm over your shoulder and takes your hand in his, interlacing your fingers and giving your hand a gentle squeeze.

“Thank you, Tony. I know you only did it to help me and I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass about it.”

“No need for apologies, Y/N. You’re my favourite assistant, you know that. You don’t work for me, you work with me. My team is basically your team as well, they even call you the ‘Lady Boss’.”

You scoff, turning your head to face him. “What kind of title is that? I prefer Mother of Dragons.”

He shakes his head at your folly. “I swear I’m going to miss you, kiddo.”

Tony has dark circles hugging his eyes and a light scruff decorating his cheeks, his usually immaculate haircut unkempt.  “You look tired, have you gotten any sleep lately?”

He just shrugs nonchalantly but he holds on to your hand a little tighter. “I can’t.”

“Don’t, Tony. You know how important it is that you get some rest. Please let me help you.”

“You should help yourself first by telling me what’s been going on in that pretty little head of yours, Y/N. Tell me about those Brooklyn boys you mentioned earlier.”

You cringe visibly, reluctant to stir up that particular hornet’s nest again. “Tony, are you sure? It ain’t got a happy ending.”

“I don’t mind, I’m here for you. Now, talk, get it off your chest.”

You blink away the tears threatening to spill from your tear ducts, the memory still too fresh as you reveal everything to Tony, from the very beginning till the very end. About how you and James dated on and off for a couple months before he broke things off, how you cried yourself to sleep every night, how you think that at some point Nat lost count as well which is why she dragged you out to party for an entire week straight, trying her best to cheer you up.

But you also told him the real change happened when you met Steve. “Now, I know you can’t stand the guy but please, Tony, hear me out first.”

He huffs but says nothing although his brown eyes give away more than he’d like.

“Steve,” you sigh languidly, “Steve’s a dream. He’s thoughtful and has such a kind heart, there’s a softness in his smile at all times and he loves the forties just as much as I do, even went to one of those period dances with me. Steve’s creativity knows no end and he is such an amazing artist. We even made a deal, I would model for his sketches and he would model for my photographs.”

“If everything was so perfect, where did it go sideways?”

You decide to give him a shorter version of all your past mistakes right up until what happened yesterday afternoon, the epitome of all your misery, the final drop that flooded your proverbial bucket. Class had been dismissed an hour earlier than expected and as you reached your apartment, you saw Clint’s car parked outside. Deciding you didn’t want to interrupt the two love birds, you texted Wanda and asked if you could join her at the library where she usually resides at this hour. Whilst waiting for a reply, you already made your way towards the library and just as you were about to reach out for the door handle, you felt something buzzing in your jacket pocket. Quickly fishing out your phone, you stared at the screen in confusion, one simple word lightening up on the display.

No.

Wanda didn’t want you at the library, surely you hadn’t done anything to upset her? You figured that the best approach was to ask her straightaway and as you pushed through the double doors and inside the library, your eyes immediately fell upon a familiar presence and you promptly realised why Wanda had reacted the way she did. Sitting only two seats away from Wanda, hunched over a couple textbooks with his headphones on, was James. And all of a sudden, as if God himself is mocking you, his head shot up and your eyes locked, his grey gaze falling over your body like a bucket of ice cold water. His eyes were void of any emotion and you felt yourself slowly slipping away in the bottomless pit you created for yourself.

There was no need for words anymore, because you just knew, you knew you had royally screwed up. “I am dead to him now.”

You look so tiny compared to the strong character you usually exhibited, void of your talent for light-hearted chatter making everyone feel at ease almost instantly. A loud sob escapes your lips and Tony gives you a sympathetic half-smile, shushing and comforting you until you have calmed down a bit.

“It’s a disaster,” you reply with a wry smile, the alcohol wearing off and the urge to cry again sinking in. “Tony, I lied to both of them! I didn’t want to be tied to a sallow heart like James’, so I told him no when I wanted to say yes. But I also couldn’t stay with Steve after kissing James and all those old emotions came flooding back to me. How can I be in love with both of them if it’s killing me inside? It’s killing me to love them, which I why I have to go. I have to go.”

Another heartbeat passes and Tony is clearly rendered speechless by your words. He feels bad for you, torn up by love and now clutching onto him as if he’s the only rock-solid thing that’s left in her world. Perhaps he is. “That’s a lot of weight to carry around all by yourself, kiddo.” Tony spoke softly to you, gently brushing the tears away with his thumb.

Perhaps he is.

Part 7: March

Tagging: the ever-wonderful @beccaanne814-blog along with a couple of my all-time favourites (hope you guys don’t mind me tagging you!) @hymnofthevalkyries @thedragonblood @capsbuchanan @caplanbuckybarnes @buchananbarnestrash @buckyywiththegoodhair @a-little-hell-to-raise @unpredictable-firecracker @marvelingatthewonder @emilyinwonderland3 @mrshopkirk @oopsmybagofplums @hardcorehippos @iiharu-kunii@knittingknerdy @kiwi71281 @winterwolf57 @dontbeamenacetotheforce @winterboobaer

[cupsofsuga]

𝐒𝐏𝐀𝐂𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆 ━ 𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍 *:·。.

{ ⚠️} WARNING - This is a yandere au, meaning the following may be triggering to some viewers.  I am not trying to discriminate the boys in any way, this is for entertainment purposes. Viewer discretion is advised!!!

{ ☕️} NOTE - there’s some heavy violence in this headcanon! again, viewer discretion is advised! also, thank you anon for being so kind!!!

{ 💐} ANON ASKED - ❝ Hcs for each member to their s/o having a hard time at school because they have a lot of exams and there is like this one girl who is kinda bothering them a lot and says thing’s like „you’re so dumb“ + Thank you for your hard work🌟 :) ❞

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊𝐉𝐈𝐍

whilst walking through the early afternoon, jin can’t help but let his mind wander to his y/n

they are candied cherries, chocolate-covered strawberries, slices of honeydew of a sultry june afternoon

they are a summer sonnet, saccharine sunshine embodied

they are in every means the light in a pit of darkness

and just before his fists meet with the mahogany door, the hushed sounds of sobbing brings his ethereal thoughts to an abrupt halt

that sugary taste of spring melts into a metallic tang

jin is ripped from the arms of serendipity and embraced by a holy, winter night; he is exploited by hell and feels it’s knife-sharp kisses litter his body

and without a second thought, he bursts through the door with enough force to puncture the wood

he is quick to provide aid for his love, letting them trail on of tales of their arrogant teachers and that sadistic blonde who finds pleasure in your torment

jin’s heart shatters and underneath the glass shard in unfathomable rage

and just like that, we watch as his anger swells and the events that follow after the faltering of his flower

5:38 PM, your teacher who has thrust you into a rough patch with school stands by his car

jin strikes, he falls to the ground, streets seeping with crimson blood as his sinful acts bleed into the creases of the pavement

the brick in his hand is quickly disposed of as he hijacks the stranger’s car and attends the key to his office

hours later, he finds you, nestled under silky blankets with moon tea in your grasp

he presents to you a cheat sheet, relishing in the way you smile so vividly and the summer petals that asphyxiate him

next, is that girl who dared to let you cry tears for her

and the acts performed on her were horrific

he nustles you back into bed, a gentle kiss to the head and caresses to the cheek, then, he is off into the night

within the next 12 hours, jin had managed to slice off her fingers and toes, laughing sadistically as she begs for mercy

the annoying disunity of her pained, guttural screams irritated jin, and to end of the night with a bang, he forced her to eat a bullet

now, the burdens have been disposed of, the anger has simmered and his love has found peace, you both can live smoothly

without the suffocating weights of the horrid world, jin can listen to his midsummer sonnets as they grace his world with their delicate smiles and infectious laughter

finally, he can breathe.

━━━ 𝐌𝐈𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐈

yoongi awakes in the evening a couple of steps into march, early spring sticky on his cheeks and sheets pressed upon his dainty legs

the burning revelation of what lies next to him feels like the midnight sun warm against his bareback

he knows the love of his life rests right beside him, deep in a luminescent slumber

yoongi turns his body around, meeting with his love, who instead is perched on the side of the bed, phone screen illuminating the room that drowned in obscurity

beneath that canopy of constellations, there is his y/n, crying out to the empty night

and that bruising palpitation that strikes his heart with one bitter-intended swing could’ve crumbled planets in the galaxy to nothing but dust bunnies you’d find nestled in the depths of the attic

every bated breath is suffocated within his lungs, saltwater smothering him as he can’t find the words to provide aid for the love of his life

the ashes skies and dull clouds envelop him, and alas, magic has died

with a gentle touch to your shoulder, the boy behind you coos and hushes his own cries of worry as you both sit in solid darkness

through saturated cries, you manage to cough up tales of demons that litter the hallways, choking on the acerbic aftertaste of tears

with the moon strung high, yoongi finds devotion through the thorn-laced ivy that punctures his form

he must prove his infatuation, he must

after all, when the world left him astray, you painted him gold with stardust brewing in your lungs

when the galaxy abandoned him, you gifted him the sun as if the planet was nothing but coins in your pocket

when he was alone, you were there in all of your effervescent glory

and that leaves your lover now, writing an anonymous complaint about that blonde’s behavior, lacing the letter with false stories of her becoming physical

yes, yoongi knows this is wrong, but that image of you with gleaming tears sprinting down your cheeks robs him of any potential mercy

he loves you, and he must defend you from the world

and there it is, your smile

you look like a pack of adonis blue butterflies in the summer, the diamonds that scatter the galaxies, rose petals as they fall from the clouds

you are happy, and now you can live in tranquillity

as the sun sets and the wolves venture out of their the caves, you two spend eternal hours on the roof, sipping cheap red wine as bellowing laughter echoes

and it’s so sweet - so, so sweet - living days in the depths of ice-rimmed snow globes and soaring through the land of hogwarts

it's so sweet finding forever summer within the cold days of late winter

it’s so sweet to live the rest of his days with you.

━━━ 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊

❝ oh, oh! i’ll do them for you! ❞

without a hint of breath, hoseok interferes your rant about exams with a shimmering idea

that’s who he was, after all

a boy willing to spit out the ash of bullets with the sun pounding against his ribcage and with the alacrity of his spirit

he’d watch the stars bleed and summer fade, he’d embrace violence with pleasure and hunt out the wolves of the night

he’d swallow seas, seethe in hellfire, swim within the embers of the sun and wither planets to dust

he’d just about do anything for you, and you milked his very desire to do such

you see, exam season was hot on your tail and there were only seconds before you witness the death of a downfall behind procrastination

the elegance of time has faded, and fortunately for you, your pretty-pliant boy toy is there with a cape to save the day

you should feel guilt for manipulating and twisting your lover's brain, but, the poison that seeps through the maze of your veins robs you of any empathy

his whitening bones and your rotten figure, his sunset skies and your ashen wastelands

you both might as well have been a devil and an angel sitting in the same high school class

but, the burden of exams is only an inkling of the baggage heavy on your shoulders

that blonde who finds sadistic pleasure in turning your life into a living hellhole awaits your next move, and with the help of your delusional lover, you may find stars within the black hole of the universe

as your grades all skyrocket as planned, you’ll have enough golden stars and lollipops to have her regina george and her precious good-girl streak melting into the tile before her expensive platforms

so, as the next afternoon blossoms, you meet hoseok at his locker with a disposition burning within your heart and ask him out on a date, watching as summer’s sky drowns out within his irises and the essence of spring spreads amongst his doll-like features

as he accepts with a stutter, you become concerned with whether or not you should check if the poor boy is still breathing, but settle on attending the ice cream parlor on the corner of town

and as you both sit in the sunset as superman ice-cream stains his lips, your plan proceeds in perfect harmony

with your sweetheart who resembles a golden retriever who’s met face-to-face with a battered-off tennis ball, your every desire is granted

with cloy praises and sugar-tainted caresses, you’re passing your exams with a pretty little pet there to serve to every one of your commands

and blinded by the infatuation through the manipulation, hoseok finds lavender-infused meadows and universes undiscovered

ever waking second with you, he finds the sun as it beats against his empty eyelids

alas, he has found clarity within the treacherous world

and he doesn’t know what he’d do if you ever left him.

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍

wednesday afternoon, namjoon is roaming around the somewhat-secluded library, once again

he finds you at a deserted table and relishes in the ambivalent pandemonium of your eternal gaze that pounds his hummingbird heartbeat

he finds cherry stains chalked upon your lips, the dust of a child’s dreams scattered upon your features, the touch of aphrodite herself laced within your fingertips as you turn the pages with elegance

to have a stark sight of you, he has found rome in the depths of you and he is only left to scrutinize every last moment

as you talk with a friend on the phone, namjoon picks up a stray book off the shelf, posing to deem it interesting as the ink fades to nonsense

there’s a tangible bitterness in your tone, stating your stress over exams, then exclaiming your rage for another student who has found entertainment in using you like a rag doll

namjoon listens, and he seethes

there’s a vivid pulse of red, a breath of tranquility left astray, heavy spring rain that envelops him

in the serrated halt in his thoughts, he listens to your rants and the harmonious claps of thunder that follow after the light rain showers

as the clock reads 3:27 AM, the boy spends the ungodly hours of the night inhaling the musk of silken mist as he dives into the depths of whatever information he can grasp of your supposed bully

after all, he’d do just about anything for you

he’d swallow bullets, suffocate himself on clouds, slice galaxies and set your shadows aflame if you simply asked

he loves you, and the burning light’s embrace taste of lemonade

you are willow trees in late june heat, apple pies left to cool on an autumn afternoon, a star amongst a field of faux pearls, a fairytale you’d find hidden in the dust of a bookstore

you are in every means a melody of summer and the ethereal sense of purity that follows after

so, that leaves namjoon now, casting his gaze upon a penthouse where the villain of your story lies

and the acts that follow after climbing into the adobe through the fire escape are horrid

he spits out threats and insults as the girl shows her submission, tears tumbling down her rosy cheeks as she pleads for any potential compassion found within the man

she then proceeds to swear on her life that she won’t utter a breath of this night if the intruder were to simply leave, but, the myths that lie within those ocean eyes state differently

and so he kills her - he kills her so violently - he watches the life leave her doe eyes like a dying star

namjoon then leaves her in the bathtub, mustering up some sob suicide note about how unfair her life was, then neglecting his sins at the domain

finally, finally, he can taste the midsummer plums and strawberry-tainted air without the burden of the world

finally, he can dance with the sunbeams as the rain begins to fade into lustrous stars

finally, he can breathe with you.

━━━ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐉𝐈𝐌𝐈𝐍

even with the simple incantation of a compliment, you have jimin vowing his devotion to you, a simple stranger

you, who holds the hypnotic elegance of a swan, the unintentional divine nature of a ghost and the substantially ethereal depths of aphrodite herself hold a young boy’s sensitive heart in the palm of your palms

you, who lives in the wind by the riverside, hold the universe in your hands

jimin, and his tenacious behavior, stand just outside the door of his father’s office, ear pressed against the door, clinging onto any inkling of a word he can grasp

your father stands in the room, too, just without you, the sun in the empty abyss

with muffled words, he listens as your father speaks stories of your stress with upcoming exams and with a bully of yours

his brave iris, his luminescent flower, his star dripped in honey nectar- is suffering…?

jimin has been left to wallow in a desolated graveyard, just to fantasize of your dancing touch and luminescent smile

you are both two bunny rabbits prancing through the barricades of spring, two fairies dancing with dust in the heat of summer

every fleeting moment, it all echoed within him

and that leaves jimin now with the yearbook that he borrowed from you settled in his lap

he takes the brief second to examine your school picture, tracing delicate fingers amongst your features and the doodles of hearts and flowers that litter around your sparkling face

flipping through the pages, he hears your father’s voice in his head, who had spoken the name of the demon that dared to dwell in you

languorous days, lavender hearts and june-infused nights, he has found some sense of clarity within the heartbreaking loyalty

inhaling the musk of a filthy bar littered with drunk men, he finds a blonde head, plan lingering within his mind

he then forges attraction, single whispers proving more of the bruises on his skin than the flower of his love

with angelic tones and forcing gags back down his throat, jimin had finally gotten this parasite alone

he had gotten the doe-eyed villain alone in an alleyway, lust staining the shades of her eyes

and that leaves the blue-eyed, plum-lipped girl with golden hair now, left in a puddle of piss and beer - dead

there’s blood everywhere - in the wind, on the pavement, on the brick walls, stained upon empty skin

but, alas, despite drowning in the sticky residue of his sins, eden’s garden has bloomed

alas, without the burden there to touch your soul and carve letters to ghost upon your precious skin, he is free

and you venture behind your father to another meeting several days later, meeting face-to-face with an abnormally bright puppy-dog with summer sunbeams soaked in the hues of his irises

❝ y/n! y/n! hey! do you- do you need help with your exams? i can help, i swear! i really can! i promise...! i’d do anything to help… ❞

━━━ 𝐊𝐈𝐌 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍𝐆

you curl your fingers around the flutter of the telephone cord, the prismatic pastel hues complimenting every syllable that leaves your mouth

your brows knit and nose scrunches, your lips twist and eyes glimmer

and, within your haze, after leaving your window open to find some contentment in the heavy humidity, a figure slid in through the crack and resides in the closet

taehyung now cherishes you through the speckles of light given through the rift of the closet door, summer leaving its eternal residue upon his form

he stares and finds the embodiment of the moon and its naked bones through the gentle film of your bedside lamp

he then listens as you complain about your bad day, dwelling in the curves and juts of your tone

how no matter how many times you attempt to curl your way out of her embrace, the blonde who has learned to despise you, an angel, always seeps her way back into your bloodstream

like a sour lemon upon the july sun, like the burning embers of winter amongst summer stars

his tranquility found in the human he loves has suffered a perceptible shift

and now, all he can touch and all he can see is unfathomable rage

how dare someone treat such a creature with envy? how dare they treat his love with obsidian-stained hatred!?

how could a human disrupt a heartbeat trapped in the galaxies!? how could a human hurt such an angel...?

these thoughts spread like constellations as taehyung sits beside you on your bed, tucking you tighter into your blankets with caution not to jeopardize his identity

you sleep like pearls in the sea, like california poppies in the daybreak

and with a gentle kiss to your forehead and a secret in the grave, he is off into the night

and within the blistering bite of the night, taehyung finds the girl and gives a gaze with two beady, stern eyes that burns bullets into his helpless victim

a good game of tag as the wind chills through the oxygen, cat and mouse in the opalescent midnight sky

and within a matter of seconds, an arrow pierces through the night and penetrates through her neck

he watches- watches as life bleeds down her collarbone

and he loves it

but now, he has returned to his love, soaked head-to-toe in the irony taste of his own sins

he sits beside your sleeping form, clutches midsummer peaches in his grasp as places his land ever so gentle upon yours

a plan lingers- a plan of how he'll kill two birds with one stone

he'll begin tutoring lessons, assisting you with your exams and drowning in the neon hues of your soul

and through the lullaby, kim taehyung has found a pale summer sky in an eternal night

he has found the lulling taste of july fruits in the suffocating depths of the attic

he has found his heartbeat in the graveyard of his mind

and his love for you is eternal.

━━━ 𝐉𝐄𝐎𝐍 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐊𝐎𝐎𝐊

with a juul held beneath your skin, nicotine soaks in the air and poisons the musk around

it fills your nostrils, holy smoke fogging up the deceased, midnight breeze

there’s muffled music that doubles yourself in this dream, there’s tranquility found in the abandonment of time

you listen and bathe in the epiphany found in the ghost of the late-night song, dwelling in the simmering sounds

you and your closest friend sit on the roof of your car, just outside of a party, gazing at the moon and sharing hits of the toxic juul pod

and within jungkook, there is infatuation infused with every breath, every blink, every waking second

there lies pearls and petals of lotus flowers within your irises, the smoke serving as a wreath around your exquisite form

your voice sounds of nature as you speak to the moon, and he has fallen prey to every curve and jut of the gibberish that leaves your mouth

you are graceful, you are broken

you are enigmatic in the hypnotizing land of twilight, you are beauty embodied as the stars circle the earth

but, through the canopy of tulips and chirping birds, the wolves venture from out of their adobe with bloodlust staining their golden eyes

you fuss about a particular blonde, proceeding to thrust your friends sanity into the flames of a hearth

you are but a doll in her grasp, a bruised and battered toy crafted for tantrums

you speak words of sour lemonade, and alas, the tranquility in the air has simmered into wrath

with lilacs in the black skies and tragedy in the pavement, you, too, find anger within the slender bones of the moon

you despise being wormwood in her grasp, but, you assume those are just the blues of being a high school student

and as the night falters and dawn blooms, you are met with fatal permission

you have met with the edge of the woods, found the corpses of mauled wolves, found ecstasy in a wasteland of dust

you eavesdrop and hear silent chatter of how regina george did not retreat home from the party the previous night

unknown to your knowledge, the sadistic candyland you were a plastic figure in has met its fate

as it will forever live as a mystery, you are unaware to the fact that her body lies miles away, left to rot within the venomous soil

then, you approach jungkook, filling him in on the latest gossip and expressing your cruel joy for her disappearance

and the pleasure that settles in his face like honey’s residue on a july afternoon was terrifying

jungkook has lost himself in a hallucination of lively color, an illusion of summer days amid winter

he has found the phoenix flower as it blooms within the hues of your eyes, he has found silken stars as they litter your face like sugar and glitter

he has found solace in the new day, the new beginning

he has found euphoria in judgment day.