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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Shameless Season 11 Episode 11 Review: The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits

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This Shameless episode contains spoilers.

Shameless Season 11 Episode 11

“We’re adults now. This is what adults do. They move on.”

Shameless tows the line over whether Frank Gallagher is actually wise or just so high on his own supply that he’s convinced himself that he’s a street smart genius. The truth of the matter is irrelevant because either way Frank still makes bold declarations as if they were the word of God. He’s a non-stop repository for nonsensical advice and Frank’s teachings have been present through every season, even if they’re lessons that the Gallaghers actively ignore.

“The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits” pushes a narrative where characters need to either move forward or slow down, but a greater source of wisdom that influences the episode’s structure is the laundry list of life lessons that Frank has spewed out for eleven seasons. This direction turns Shameless’ penultimate episode into one of the most emotional and impressive entries of the season and provides the right direction for next week’s big finale.

Previous seasons of Shameless frequently treat Frank like an unrepentant derelict and there are times where he even operates as an outright villain. This final season has worked hard to humanize Frank as he transitions into this feeble stage of his life and it’s been a very powerful experience. Now, an episode away from the very end of Shameless, Frank is at his absolute worst and at this point there’s no hatred towards this passive father figure, only pity. William H. Macy looks utterly lost in these scenes and he’s really put everything into this final season. Macy actually deserves some award consideration when the time comes and this is the episode that he should submit.

Frank is usually the one that drives the chaos forward in Shameless, right down to the previous episode, but “The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits” turns into a somber celebration of all things Frank Gallagher as Liam graciously tries to remind Frank of the indomitable fighting spirit that’s defined him for his entire life. Liam throws Frank’s own advice back at him when he tells him, “Either you run the day, or the day runs you.”

This episode feeds off of the energy between Liam and Frank from the previous installment and it’s appropriate that Liam is the one that’s with Frank during his weakest moments. Frank can rest easy knowing that Liam is living proof that goodness has come out of all of his selfish behavior over the years and somehow this child has been able to synthesize his ramblings into practical advice.

It’s a lot of fun to return to this farcical side of Frank’s character, but the comedic sensibilities of Shameless continue to be all over the place this season. There are some legitimately funny and subtle jokes throughout this episode, but there are also ridiculous setpieces where good samaritans get steamrolled by a truck. Shameless has always had a dark sense of humor, but it needs to have a little more confidence in itself and not resort to such broad gags that come close to breaking the reality of the show’s universe. Mickey’s consternation over housing complex guidelines feels more natural, and is funnier, than fatality punchlines or extended TikTok dance routines.

Mickey and Ian’s time in Chicago’s West Side becomes surprisingly fulfilling and it achieves the right balance between comedy and drama. This new lifestyle puts Mickey and Ian at odds with each other and it becomes a strong dissection of their characters as well as how far their relationship has come. Their material is full of great character moments, like how Mickey needs to listen to car crashes and general destruction as a white noise machine to help him peacefully fall asleep. Mickey’s discomfort over his new life becomes so severe that he has to sneak back into the Gallagher house and get up close and personal with the crime and chaos that echoes through the South Side.

I don’t expect Mickey to completely regress and be unable to forge ahead with Ian in this marginally swankier life, but this feels like a reasonable temporary hurdle for him to clear before the series concludes. Despite how this West Side lifestyle is a productive change for Ian and Mickey, it’s still something that Ian made official while Mickey wasn’t completely on board. It’s an understandable schism between them and the episode is smart to tease them falling back onto old habits, only to do the opposite.

“The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits” teases infidelity and disappointing decisions, but their selfless resolution to the problem is one of the sweetest moments from the entire season and basically what I’ve wanted from these two all season. Every character in Shameless has been through a tremendous amount this season and it’s impressive how Mickey and Ian’s conflict resolution methods have evolved from the volatile place that they were at when the season began.

Mickey and Ian display genuine maturity with their relationship issues and it’s a level of synergy and consistency that Debbie craves. Everyone is considerably worn down from the events of the season and is close to their breaking points, which in Debbie’s case finally causes her to take a long look at why her romantic endeavors have all been so toxic. This introspective attitude is good for Debbie, yet the victim mentality that she adopts and her anger that Frank has “ruined love for her” is a little too simplistic. Debbie has been in healthy relationships that failed because of preventable problems that she instigated.

Debbie polls the people in her life on how to build connections and stay together when her family is on the cusp of separation, which does carry a level of poignancy, even if not all of the insight that she acquires from the experience is healthy. It’s a storyline that works as well as it does here specifically because it’s juxtaposed around so many changes and goodbyes. Debbie does productive work to better herself, but the direction of her endgame is more than a little confusing.

“The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits” parses out several scenes where an aggressive woman named Heidi causes a wave of mayhem promptly after she’s released from prison. Initially it looks like Heidi’s roaring rampage will intersect with Carl’s new police gig and provide him an opportunity to take down this menace and become a hero again on the force. That’s not at all what happens and it’s madness that Heidi is meant to instead provide closure for Debbie!

Heidi literally threatens to shoot Franny with a revolver and minutes later Debbie is ready to spend the rest of her life with this loose cannon. The most frustrating thing is that next week’s series finale will likely hint at a happy future for this fresh couple, but based on everything that’s known about both of these characters it seems like it’s destined to go up in flames, perhaps even more quickly than previous relationships.

Carl doesn’t get to take out an angst-ridden recidivist, but he does still find some peace and gain a better understanding of his calling after a season of being frustrated. Carl’s impassioned speech is long overdue, eloquent as hell, and completely right. It also would have been justified several episodes back, but at this point Carl’s pent up frustration over what he’s witnessed at the police department makes sense.

It’s encouraging that Carl embraces his demotion and uses it to find clarity. It’s still hard to say if this police direction for Carl’s character was worth it in the end, but thankfully it doesn’t suck out his soul or leave him bitter at the world. Joshua Malina is such a hyperbolized schlub through all of this, which is entertaining and also reflects the greater level of incompetence that surrounds Carl while he attempts to do honest police work.

Carl and many of the Gallaghers are caught in flux when it comes to their new lives, but Kevin and Vee already have Chicago in their rearview mirrors. Vee and Kevin represent a force of confidence and their resolve towards Louisville inadvertently helps many of the Gallaghers work through their own sources of stress. It even feels natural that the person that Kevin and Vee sell their house off to turns into a break for Lip to diminish the colony of ulcers that have been brewing in him all season. This blessed development also doesn’t feel contrived because it’s an opportunity that Lip ultimately botches.

Liam reminds Frank that he’ll have both good and bad days, but this cautionary advice becomes even more applicable to Lip’s story. It’s heartbreaking how everything sours for Lip and there’s such palpable tension through it all. This is supposed to be Lip’s easy way out to a happy ending and it instead quickly becomes a nightmare. It’s very clear that something is about to go wrong and just how poorly Lip has handled this situation. It’s a slow motion car crash of drama to the worst degree.

This sword is left to hang over Lip as the episode concludes and he almost seems to accept the cloud of hopelessness that’s formed over him. It’s a sad, hollow version of Lip that doesn’t feel dissimilar to Frank Gallagher and his decision to go out on his own terms. Frank’s concluding moments are devastating, but they’re also the only time in the episode where he feels empowered. It’s a turn that fundamentally changes the tone for Shameless’ series finale and has the potential to bring out the best in each character. There’s now a small sliver of hope that Fiona might show up, whereas I was previously convinced that this was impossible.

“The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits” is the strongest episode of Shameless’ final season, it contains some of William H. Macy’s absolute best work from the show, and it instills some optimistic confidence for what the series has planned for its final installment. The Gallaghers’ lives are far from over and there’s still a lot that these characters need to figure out before the series’ conclusion. The tragedy that strikes in the episodes’s final moments is a strong catalyst that should bring everyone together and deliver a series finale that’s just as much about togetherness and supporting each other as it is about new beginnings and closing the door on the past.

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It will also absolutely end on its own terms, just like Francis Gallagher.

The post Shameless Season 11 Episode 11 Review: The Fickle Lady Is Calling It Quits appeared first on Den of Geek.

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ranma-rewatch · 4 years ago

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Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

AAAAAhhhhh! After 10,000 years, I’m free! Time to watch more Ranma 1/2! We’re getting ready for the middle part of what I guess you could call the Kodachi introduction arc, and like I intimated last time, she’s not exactly my favorite character. That said, I am interested to see how this can play out over the course of two episodes, so next paragraph I’ll have watched the episode.

Uh, so, I don’t think an episode has surprised me by being this much better than I was expecting so far in this rewatch. Like I said before, low expectations, but I really enjoyed this one. The episode starts with Akane and Ranma heading to school on the day before the marital arts match, only for Kodachi to show up and attack Akane.

This has nothing to do with the match, though. She literally just came by to see Ranma, who she has fallen completely in love with, but decided to attack Akane on-sight because why not. After Akane literally throws her at Ranma, he is suddenly confronted by our old friend Tatewaki Kuno, who is surprised to hear of Kodachi’s affection for this rapscallion. After a few seconds of thought, he makes it clear Ranma has his permission to date her, but when Ranma snaps about now being asked about this, Kodachi gets sad, feeling like maybe Ranma hates her.

Trying to avoid her wrath, Ranma runs and hides behind Akane, pointing out that he is her fiance, which would put a hamper on dating. When Akane confirms this, new stakes are given to their upcoming fight: if Kodachi wins, she gets Ranma. Kuno is totally down with that, since with Ranma out of the way, he sees himself easily winning Akane’s (and Ranma’s) affection.

It’s as Kodachi runs off, laughing, that Kuno finally reveals why he jumped into this conversation in the first place: Kodachi is his little sister. He’s aware that she has quite a few terrible qualities, and so warns Akane that she is likely to cheat quite a bit before and during their fight. As he walks away, Ranma and Akane reel from this family revelation, and Ranma notes that he can actually see the resemblance now.

From there, we cut to Akane practicing that night in the dojo with Ranma. She’s clearly gotten a lot better, though makes it clear the new stakes have nothing to do with why she wants to win so badly. Just as Akane notes that she hasn’t had Ryoga’s assistance in training for the last few days, or seen P-chan, the piglet runs into the room, carrying evidence that he’d been in Hiroshima and Kyoto. (Fun fact: my best friend went to Hiroshima while she was studying abroad there!)

There’s some banter over Ryoga’s reappearance, but then Akane trips on a tool, injuring her ankle in the process. It’s bad enough that Kasumi makes clear there’s no way she can play in the match, which means they need a substitute to avoid giving up. They consider that they’d need to find someone with great marital arts skills, who is really acrobatic, and looks like a girl. All eyes go to Ranma just as Ryoga enters the room, having once again used Soun Tendo’s hot bath to change back to human, and throws cold water on Ranma.

He offers to train Ranma through the night, though it’s clear quickly that Ranma’s general skills do transfer pretty well. The only big hurdle is that in Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Arts, the fighters aren’t allowed to deal direct blows, only use their themed weapons to fight. Akane observes at first, but they both tell her to go and get some sleep, which she ends up agreeing to. Once she’s gone, Ryoga gets serious in fighting, and reveals why he’s really doing this: he wants Ranma to lose. If he does, Ranma has to date Kodachi, which leaves Akane open to date him. He’s not trying to spar with Ranma, he’s trying to injure him bad enough that he can’t fight.

Akane wakes up the next morning and quickly hears the fight is still going on, heading into the dojo to find they’re going at it, though they’re both clearly exhausted. Oh, and the dojo is wrecked. Ranma is delirious from lack of sleep, and almost falls for a thumb tack in the hand trap from Kodachi when they go to the match at her school. Meanwhile, Ryoga is amazed to find that he’s managed to get from Akane’s house to the school without getting lost, and chalks the miracle up to the power of love. There’s another trick from Kodachi in the dressing room, and Ryoga is hit by random cold water while trying to get to the gymnasium, leading to Kodachi kidnapping him for some scheme.

Soon, it’s time for the match to begin, and Kuno is watching in the stands, ready to root for his sister for what he admits is the first time ever. Kodachi descends from the ceiling in a wedding dress while having rockets fired at her new opponent, all very on-brand for her. Ranma is asked what his name is, and he just gives them his real name, to Akane’s confusion. The Kuno’s both just take this as Ranma somehow having the exact same name as, well, Ranma, and some of their classmates in the crowd notice that they do look alike, pondering on how they’re connected.

The fight goes to start, but Kodachi begins by dazing Ranma with a twirly ribbon and an onslaught of black roses, then uses that opening to attach a chain to Ranma’s wrist. On the other end of that chain is P-chan, which Kodachi thinks will ensure she ends the match. But we don’t get to see that yet, because that’s for next episode!

So, a lot of thoughts, actually. First things first, I feel like this is the first episode of the series so far that’s really gone whole-hog into what a lot of people think of as the series’ main premise. For this whole set-up, Kodachi loves uncursed Ranma but hates Akane and cursed Ranma, Kuno loves cursed Ranma and Akane but hates uncursed Ranma, and Ryoga loves Akane and hates Ranma whether he’s cursed or not. This creates a network of alliances that all work against Ranma and Akane’s wishes. He doesn’t want to date Kodachi and Akane wants to get a victory for her school after Kodachi unfairly beat up the actual gymnastics team.

It all feels very farcical, in a good way. Throughout this rewatch, there have been times when the humor doesn’t really land for me, usually because it just gets too silly for me, if that makes any sense. But this worked perfectly, it was all very character driven while also being deeply ridiculous. Things like Kuno having the sense of mind to see that his sister is a weird one while not being cognizant of his own strangeness kind of brought it to earth in a way, and it was all just a good time.

I also quite enjoyed a lot of the animation, the changes to character designs, and the general dynamics on display. There was something weirdly smooth to how Ryoga entered Akane’s room and put his arm around Ranma’s shoulder that just felt cool to watch. The facial expressions in that scene, and throughout, were also in top form. The way he goes from clearly coming in with an ulterior motive, to revealing what he’s really up to, it all felt a little more devious than we get from Ryoga, but in a good way.

I’m not usually a big fan of leotards, but, uh, Ranma and Akane can both really rock them. (I’d also love to see uncursed Ranma in one, I’m sure his butt would look just as good.) Akane showed up to the match dressed like a ringside coach, and it just radiates powerful butch lesbian energy. The referee to the match is also dressed in a pretty masculine way, and similarly gives off wonderful vibes. Just a really aesthetically pleasing episode for me.

The pacing was also really tight. A lot of stuff got packed into the episode’s runtime, and I’d love to compare it to this section of the manga to see if that’s because it’s a particularly dense storyline or because they made the decision to just stuff the episode with as much manga as they could. We’ll get to my rating after the Character Spotlight, but this is just a treat of an episode, and one I have to say again that I wasn’t anticipating in the slightest. Major kudos to everyone who worked on this episode.

Okay, so, now let’s do a Spotlight on Kodachi. The big reason I held off on doing one last week is that her last name hadn’t been revealed, and her Kuno-ness is kind of a big part of who she is, I didn’t want to wait for the next time I decided to give her a Spotlight to cover that part of her.

Alright, so, as usual, let’s start with voice actors. In English, she actually had three different VA’s over the course of the series run. I’ve actually decided that, going forward, with cases like these I’m just going to focus on who the current voice actors are, and talk about the new ones when they appear. Her first actress in my native tongue is Teryl Rothery, who is actually more well known for her live-action work. She appears to play a main character in Stargate SG-1, which I have never seen, and has filled the role of Jean Loring in Arrow. (Which I have seen, but never noticed that Ray Palmer’s ex-wife was in the show in the seasons I saw of it.) In Japanese, she’s portrayed by Saeko Shimazu, who has actually played a role in every Rumiko Takahasi anime adaptation from that era, so that’s neat.

They definitely play the character a little differently. Shimazu is genuinely fantastic at playing Kodachi as the well known anime archetype of the Ojou. The way she does Kodachi’s laugh might be the best Ojou laugh I’ve ever heard, and she’s generally good playing the character oddly seriously. Like, if you didn’t know Kodachi was a dangerously violent person, her voice acting would just make you think she’s a soft spoken, very feminine girl. It fits her whole aesthetic really well, honestly. Rothery went in a very different direction. I feel like it’s hard to think of Kodachi as anything other than a villain in her voice, she’s more clearly malevolent, like a Sailor Moon villainess. Her version of the laugh is a lot more unhinged sounding, for lack of a more appropriate word.

That kind of leads into one thing I was kind of surprised to notice. It feels as though the Dub and Sub versions of this character differ quite a bit. In the English Dub, they frequently use words like ‘crazy’, ‘unstable’, and ‘mad’ to describe Kodachi, and in a way it kind of dominates her characterization. I’ll talk more about that in a minute, but I’ll say for now I had to sigh at those bits. But imagine my surprise to see the Sub instead talk about her being ill-mannered, stubborn, tenacious. As far as I can recall, they didn’t use any mental health-related words, instead just focusing on the idea that she will do anything to get what she wants.

This creates two fairly radically different versions of the character, at least for me. And I actually greatly prefer what I’m finding in the Sub. Kodachi there is played much more as a dark mirror to her brother. Ranma might say they’re the same, but they clearly aren’t. Kuno is a jerk, and doesn’t seem to take the objects of his affection’s input. But he also, at the very least, sees himself as honorable, a man of culture, and doesn’t seem like the type to cheat in a competition.

Kodachi has no such scruples. She is utterly ruthless, while also sadistically delighting in causing pain to other people. She is, in a way, defined by the fact that she is constantly trying to cheat, to get any victory she can, even while acting as though there’s nothing wrong with what she does, that’s she’s just a beautiful girl doing what she has to. The way they each fall in love with a different form of Ranma, while hating the other, is also a nice touch.

That was all a lot of nice stuff I said, but sadly it’s alls I gots for ya. Going back to the whole ‘crazy’ thing, that’s definitely the thing that, at least growing up, dominates her character. As far as I can recall, the fandom generally thinks of her as the ‘craziest’ of all the main cast, and that’s...not very good? I feel like, at least among some sectors of culture, we’re trying to be more aware of other people and trying to take in feedback, and ableism feels like one of the last big areas where a lot of people, even those who are otherwise far left, struggle to get past their prejudices. I’m including myself in there, I screw up all the time. But yeah, I think we need to kind of think a lot more about the ‘crazy’ tropes in media, especially the ones that associate with violence and evil characters. So far at least, I don’t really have a lot to dig into with Kodachi especially, but it’s something I’ll have in mind going forward.

The other area I feel like I have to rain on this Spotlight a little is just what Kodachi brings to the dynamic of the show. Which is mostly...not a lot. Of all the main characters who are a part of the primary love dodecahedron, she is the one who feels like could generally just not exist without impacting anything. She basically just does what Kuno does, but in the opposite direction. Ranma is going to end up with a lot of suitors, and someone else generally fills the role of ‘violent and amoral’ much better than Kodachi, plus she’ll be appearing pretty soon from where we are now. At least as of now, Kodachi is a character I find doesn’t hurt the show at all, but also doesn’t particularly make it better.

If it wasn’t clear from all the gushing before, I really liked this episode. But how much? Where does it fall among the ranks of all the episodes I’ve seen thus far? After some careful consideration, I think I’m actually going to put this at the number two spot. It really was that good, I have very little bad to say. The only reason it didn’t take the top spot is that I just love episode 7 too much. That makes the current standings:

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

This has been a really fun one! Next time, we’ll be covering lucky episode number 13, “A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!”, which will also be the ending to this little arc. I’m excited to join you then, and see if that episode fulfilled the promise in this episode’s set-up! See you all then!

#episode 12 #A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!#ranma 1/2 #ranma saotome #akane tendo #ryoga hibiki #tatewaki kuno #kodachi kuno #anime analysis #anime rewatch

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mia-cooper · 5 years ago

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Fanfiction Questions

from here

Fandom Questions

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

Involved as in ‘frantically read every book I could get my hands on, daydreamed about being part of that universe and wrote stories/made art inspired by the books, if not actual fanfiction’? Mm, probably The Chronicles of Narnia when I was six or seven. The next great obsession was The Silver Brumby when I went through my horse stage around age 12, and then Sweet Valley High when I was 15. Hahaha.

2. What is your latest fandom?

Marvel! I’m not into comics and I’m definitely not interested in consuming every last bit of canon material or memorising the variations of every universe, but I love (most of) the movies and Agents of SHIELD is pretty cool.

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

Star Trek Voyager. No contest. I venture to suggest that the older fandoms, the ones that are all about defunct shows, are a hell of a lot more chilled. Maybe because we’ve come to terms with our shitty canon endings and learned that liking the ship you hate doesn’t make someone problematic, unlike some newer fandoms I could name (Yes I’m talking about you, Game of Thrones fans. What the fuck.)

4. Do you regret getting involved in any fandoms?

I’ve dipped a toe into one or two fandoms for shows or books I’ve really enjoyed and backed the fuck out when the vibe gets weird (oh hey, it’s GoT again), but nope. No regrets.

5. Which fandoms have you written fanfiction for?

All the Star Treks except TOS, and a Trek/MCU crossover. I’d like to write more for MCU someday. Plus I’ve written longhand entire notebooks full of teen romance shit that bore an uncanny similarity to SVH, and my first short story was a fantasy fic that featured a girl whose guardian was a wise talking lion who led her into mystical secret worlds, which is kind of familiar.

6. List your OTP from each fandom you’ve been involved in.

Wow. I’m going to define ‘involved in’ as ‘cared enough about to have an OTP’, but I’m guaranteed to forget a ton. In no particular order:

Voyager: Janeway x anyone who can get her off

Discovery: Lorca x Cornwell or Pike x Tyler x Burnham (or any combination of)

DS9: Kira x Jadzia Dax

TNG: Picard x Vash, I guess? I don’t really have any TNG ships

ENT: T’Pol x Trip x Hoshi (or any variation therein)

MCU: Cap x Widow

AoS: Coulson x Skye... no May... no Skye... I don’t know

CAOS: Madam Satan x Zelda

Timeless: Garcy

The Good Place: Eleanor x Tahani

The 100 (shut up): toss up between Clarke x Bellamy and Kane x Abby

Veronica Mars: Veronica x Leo (first run), Veronica x Logan (s4)

Orphan Black: Cosima x Delphine

BSG: Apollo x Starbuck

SG1: Sam x Jack

Arrow: Olicity (so over the show now though)

This Life: Milly x Egg

Yeah you know what... I’m drawing a blank. I can’t think of any other shows where I’ve been invested in The Romance that much.

7. List your NoTPs from each fandom you’ve been in.

I’m too tired to do every fandom, and besides, I can come around to almost any ship if the headcanons (or fics) are convincing enough. I do have a few hard no-gos, but they might be someone else’s OTP so I’ll shut up about them.

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

Reluctantly. The MCU movies are not something I ever thought I’d enjoy beyond a dull evening’s entertainment. I never expected to get attached to the characters. And yet.

9. What are the best things about your current fandom?

Voyager is my forever fandom and the only one where I’ve really interacted with other fans. The best things about it? In general, everyone is just cool, accepting, open and basically awesome. And talented. I love my Party Bus people.

10. Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Sure. The 100, Veronica Mars and Agents of SHIELD are the ones I’d dip into more frequently. I really enjoy crossovers between Trek and BSG or the Stargate variants, too.

Ship Questions for your Current Fandom

11. Who is your current OTP?

Janeway x Chakotay.

12. Who is your current OT3?

Janeway x Chakotay x Paris.

13. Any NoTPs?

A few.

14. Go on, who are your BroTPs?

Janeway & Tuvok! Also Torres & Chakotay, and I’d have killed for more Janeway & Torres in canon. (If they kissed sometimes that would be okay too)

15. Is there an obscure ship which you love?

Yeah. Paris x Seven. There are like two fics in existence, and yet ... the potential! (Sorry, B’Elanna)

16. Are there any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

Nope.

17. Who was your first OTP and are they still your favourite?

Janeway x Paris. And they’re still way up there, but not quite at the top.

18. What ship have you written the most about?

84% of my fics feature Janeway x Chakotay as either the primary or secondary pairing... holy shit.

19. Is there a ship which you wished you could get behind, but you just don’t feel them?

Paris x Torres. I mean, I feel them. I just don’t generally feel the need to write about them.

20. Any ships which you surprised yourself by liking?

Chakotay x Seven. In another universe, it could’ve been beautiful.

Author Questions

21. What was the first fanfic you ever wrote?

Actual story that was clearly fanfic? A farcical drunken romp told in the 24th century equivalent of email format called PADDemonium (see what I did there?)

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

Lol, a few things that should probably have never seen the light of day for various reasons, some of them leola related. But I’ve only deleted two fics that I can recall.

23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.

Relieved. It’s a 30k AU Chakotay moral dilemma backstory that brings in DS9 characters, Section 31 and his longstanding history with AU Janeway. I did so much research for it (way back in the days before memory alpha and chakoteya.net) and I’m really proud of how I wound in canon stuff across series but changed a few key bits and pieces. Only problem is, it’s a sequel to ...

24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit?

... Pressure, which I can’t even read without cringing. My characterisation of Janeway, even Angry Maquis AU Janeway, is way over the top and there are moments that verge on Mills and Boon and give me first, second and third hand embarrassment. God, I’d love to rewrite it. Actually, that’s a lie. I want someone else to rewrite it so I can read it without covering my eyes and moaning.

25. What’s your most popular fanfic?

Desperate Measures, by about 70,000 light years, lol. Although Fragile Things beats it on bookmarks.

26. How do you come up with your fanfic titles?

You know what? A fair percentage of the time, I think of the title first and come up with a plot second. Aside from that, I prefer shorter, punchier titles that clearly tie into the story (Flight Risk, Speechless), though sometimes it’s song lyrics (Burn Our Horizons, your body like a searchlight) or a literary quote (Required to Bear, All the Devils are Here) or a turn of phrase from the story itself (The Prisons You Inhabit). Hey that was fun. Thanks for letting me pimp the shit out of my stories.

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

Ugh, it depends on the day. Summaries are harder, I think. I never want to give away too much of the plot, but there has to be enough there for people to know whether they’ll bother clicking. Funny story: I actually ran the stats on this a few months back. Here they are for your edification:

Fics with a one line plot summary = 54%

With two or three line plot summary = 18%

With a short snippet directly from the fic = 16%

With a snippet + a one line explanation = 3%

With a one line plot summary plus a line to date the fic (eg "set in season 3", “episode tag to Worst Case Scenario") or the fic prompt = 7%

And finally, a quote from something other than the fic = 2% (that's only 3 fics).

28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?

Ooh. I’ll say the final scene in Explosive.

29. Do you have a beta reader? Why/Why not?

I used to regularly ask @jhelenoftrek and @littleobsessions90 to beta for me, and both of them are brilliant at it. Lately I’ve been posting without sending my stuff off for editing. This is partly because I’m impatient to get stuff out there, partly because I don’t have as much time to write/edit, and partly because I’m a little less focused on improving my writing and more on enjoying it for its own sake.

30. What inspires you to write?

Little bits of episode dialogue I haven’t noticed before, other people’s fanfiction, stray conversations, fic prompts, song lyrics, random headcanons, fever dreams, dares ...

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

I’ve been really lucky with comments on my fic. The least helpful comment I’ve ever received was on one of my early 30k fics and all it said was “Did you have to take the name of the lord in vain?” Which is kind of funny. The nicest thing anyone’s ever said? I’m very partial to the feedback that starts “I don’t even like this pairing/genre/trope/show but you made me love it”, and particularly “I’ll read anything you write, I don’t care what it’s about.” But all comments are gold. The little heart button is cool too.

32. Do you listen to music when you write or does music inspire you? If so, which band or genre of music does it for you?

I’m not someone who can tune out music I love, or leave it in the background to inspire me. If it’s on, I’m fully invested in it. I’m that annoying person in the car who flips radio stations every three seconds until I find something I like and then it’s on 11 and I’m singing along to it. I’m also really picky but extremely eclectic, although there are genres I can’t stand (anything with autotune makes me stabby). That said, sometimes I find a song that I can’t stop listening to for weeks and often that perfect combination of music and lyrics will inspire me to write a fic. For example, I just plotted out an entire J/C story because of this song.

33. Do you write oneshots, multi-chapter fics or huuuuuge epics?

All of the above. Although I’m not sure if my longest epic is huuuuuge or just huuuge.

34. What’s the word count on your longest fic?

101,467.

35. Do you write drabbles? If so, what do you normally write them about?

I have two drabble collections. One is all J/C, full of responses to random prompts and I add to it sporadically. The other is episode additions set on Kathryn Janeway’s birthday (May 20) and added to annually.

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

Angst, definitely. Sometimes it’s smutty angst or fluffy angst or hurt/comfort angst, but often it’s just fucking unrelenting angst. And I’m okay with that.

37. First person or third person - what do you write in and why?

I did the stats on this once, too, haha. Pretty sure I came out fairly even on first and third person with a smattering of second person in there. I’m probably even-ish on present vs past tense, too. I make it a point to mix it up to avoid my writing getting stale or same-y. And sometimes a fic doesn’t really click for me until I try it in a different POV or tense or from a different character’s perspective.

38. Do you use established canon characters or do you create OCs?

I mostly write for canon characters - the fun is in all the different ways you can interpret and imagine them - but I’ve been known to throw in the odd OC, or focus on a character who only got a brief cameo appearance, or write about someone who only appears in beta canon, or who only rates a mention on screen.

39. What is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, wow. I’m not sure. I guess the thing I value most about my own writing is my willingness to try different styles, characters, pairings and so on. The thing I strive for most is characterisation that feels true, and I really love it when I get comments on that. Exploring a character in a way that rings true with a reader is the best thing ever.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

Overly long sentences and adverb abuse, haha. No, truthfully, there comes a point in most of my fics, particularly the longer ones, when I really just want to scrap it because in my heart I know it’s dreadful. Usually that passes once I slog through the ‘I don’t wanna’ stage because I’m a bloody-minded bitch, but sometimes fics do get left in the dust half-written. Honestly, though, they’re the ones that probably should stay there.

Fanfiction Questions

41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading:

This is hilarious because I was just talking on discord about my problematic ‘to read’ pile. My unread AO3 subscription emails currently number 29 and my phone browser has 71 tabs open. So here are 5 random picks from that list of exactly 100 fics I should be reading:

Sex on the Beach (E, Janeway/Chakotay) by @traccigaryn

The Ruby Ring (T, Janeway/Chakotay, Janeway/Tighe) by @trinfinity2001

Earth is But an Idea (T, Janeway/Chakotay, Carter/O’Neill) by @caladeniablue

Home (E, Janeway/Chakotay) by Cassatt

Wise Up (E, Janeway/Chakotay) by KimJ

42. List and link to 5 fanfiction authors who are amazing:

Only five? Shit. Okay. In no particular order, these are five of the writers I keep coming back to:

quantumsilver (also here)

northernexposure

LittleObsessions

Helen8462

Cheshire

But there are so many others. My chosen fandom is chock full of amazing talent.

43. Is there anyone in your fandom who really inspires you?

All of the authors above for various reasons, but also august because her writing is so spare and delicate and devastating, and runawaymetaphor because she writes the most delicious Janeway/Paris, and @seperis because I read In the Space of Seven Days literally 20 years ago and I still haven’t recovered, and I could be here all night raving on this topic but there are still many questions to get through.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

Janeway x Paris. I’m so happy there’s been a little bit of a resurgence in J/P fics lately. Thanks, @curator-on-ao3, you’re doing the lord’s work.

I’ll also take Janeway x Johnson content any day of the week.

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic?

What the hell? I can’t pick just one! Ugh!

... but okay, here’s the first one that came to mind when I tried to think about this: if you came this way by tree. I’m not sure I’d call it my favourite, but it’s one I revisit often. Ugh, there are so many other fics I’m thinking of now that I really want to list.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Oh, that’s hard. I should probably pick an angsty smutty J/C because that’s a fair proportion of what I write and it’s good to let a new reader know what they can expect. But honestly, I think the best fic I’ve written is The Uncharted Sea. (It’s safe for work. Maybe not for makeup.)

47. Archive Of Our Own, Fanfiction.net or Tumblr - where do you prefer to post and why?

The Archive, of course. Where else can I find ad-free hosting on a stunningly user-friendly interface with absolutely no moralising content restrictions and the world’s best tagging system? That Hugo award is well deserved.

Tumblr is good for headcanons and meta and gifsets and a few other formats that I’m less likely to post on AO3 because I’d feel like I was pissing off people who subscribe to me by giving them some random garbage.

I also have my own website, but I’m not really sure why. Sometimes I post fic there that doesn’t make it to tumblr or AO3.

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

I try to. Honestly I do. I love it when I get reviews, so I figure paying it forward is the least I can do. I’m less scrupulous about leaving comments when I’m busy or reading on my phone.

49. Do you care if people comment/reblog your writing? Why/why not?

I mean, I love it when people reblog, but I certainly don’t expect it. @arcadia1995 is amazing for reblogging stuff *blows kisses*

Nobody owes fanfic writers shit, but I feel like there’s a tacit agreement that if you like what you just read for free and you’re on a platform that makes it easy to do so, you leave a review or at least a kudos, because I’m not gonna lie, posting a fic you’ve worked super hard on and seeing it get very few kudos or comments is a bit deflating. I’m sure a lot of us have been there.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

During Voyager’s original run I was trawling the internet for Endgame spoilers (I don’t know why; I usually love surprises) and I guess I googled (or whatever the 2001 equivalent of googling was) something like “how does voyager get home” and somehow I stumbled across Revisionist History. At first I had no idea what I was reading - was this a lost story pitch that somehow got leaked? A professional novella commissioned by the showrunners?

Then I started following links and discovered yahoo groups and webrings and Trekiverse and fanfiction.net and all sorts of incredible things I’d never guessed at, including the now defunct ‘archipelago of angst’, a collection of Voyager writers who focused mainly on a darker Janeway than most of the other fic writers I was encountering, and I was hooked. So I wrote a few of my own pieces, and then I lost interest for 15 years. I’m still not sure how I got dragged back in.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

Honestly, in what other way can I indulge my obsessions, hone my skills and talk about it endlessly with like-minded people? Where else can I instantly find a plethora of fiction about the exact topic I feel like reading about on my mobile device and for free? Fanfiction is fucking amazing and I’m so glad it exists in my life.

#miamemes #fanfiction #fanfic asks

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jackoshadows · 5 years ago

Text

Unpopular opinion.

Out of all the character endings on Game of Throne’s final season, the one character ending that I had the least problem with is one which the majority of fans intensely disliked – Jaime Lannister.

Jaime Lannister critique under the cut

Maybe it is because I am tired of hearing about Jaime’s non-existent ‘redemption’ arc in the books. Maybe it is because I am yet to see any genuine remorse and regret from him for his actions that has resulted in the loss of countless lives and destruction in Westeros.

Jaime Lannister is the one character in the books that I find hard to sympathize with in any form and whose motivations don’t really resonate with me in any way. I can understand a Cersei – an ambitious woman born in a man’s word and restricted by her gender – better than I can understand a Jaime. The one thing I appreciated the show doing until the last season was fleshing out and writing more for Cersei than for Jaime. I am not a fan of GRRM turning Cersei into a cartoon, crazy lady villain in the later books, while trying to ‘redeem’ Jaime – considering that in the very first book, it was Jaime who tries to murder a child to cover up his incestuous adultery and Cersei who tries to stop him.

I can understand a Tyrion Lannister – abused by his family for being disabled and ugly . Cersei – who can only have power on the whims of men and endures marital rape. This does not excuse their actions – but it explains their bitterness. Theon Greyjoy – a child torn from his loving mother and siblings and brought up with his enemies living with the threat of death if his father misbehaved. Hell, we can even see why Ramsay Bolton turned out the way he did. Ramsay and Jon Snow are supposed to contrast as bastards – because of who Ned Stark and Roose Bolton are as fathers.

Jaime Lannister is Tywin’s golden child. A privileged man born into everything – good looks, wealth, power. And yet his motivation for every single one of his actions can be narrowed down to his incestuous love for his twin sister. I often hear about how Jaime was disenchanted with the Kings guard. Not really. Jaime joins this celibate organization in the first place to be close to his sister and have sex with her – so he was already breaking their oaths and had no high regard for them even at the very beginning when he joins them.

He stabs the fleeing mad king in the back only after Tywin and his men enter KL and he knows he is safe. And then he sits on the throne waiting for Ned to get there, while Elia and her babies are being raped and murdered by the Mountain – even though his KG oaths mean that he has to protect them. Then he blames Ned for not being grateful to him – despite not explaining anything to Ned. Then wallows in self pity about how no one recognizes what he did.

He engages in adultery with the king’s wife when they are guests at WF – and attempts to kill a child to cover up this adultery. And no, he did not do this because he cared about his children – he equated Joffrey to sperm at one point. He then tries to hunt down and kill Arya on Cersei’s orders for the incident at the Trident. If Ned had not found Arya first, Jaime would have killed her. He is nonchalant about killing children.

Then Jaime spends considerable time as a prisoner and loses a hand. We get the Jaime-Brienne saga where Jaime verbally abuses Brienne and mocks her ugliness while she falls in love with him. He saves her from the bear pit - points for Jaime! – and then returns home. Does Jaime have moments of kindness – like, when he helps Brienne and Pia? Yes. But so does every other character with the exception of Ramsay Bolton who is one dimensionally evil.

So this is where Jaime’s redemption supposedly starts …. And I am sorry, but I just don’t see it. He is still busy making sure Tully lands go back to the Freys who betrayed and murdered Robb, even threatening to trebuchet and murder poor imprisoned Edmure’s baby to defeat the Blackfish. And through the Blackfish, GRRM points out how farcical Jaime’s ‘excuses’ and justifications for his actions always are.

"Are there any terms you will accept? he demanded of the Blackfish.

"From you?" Ser Brynden shrugged. "No."

"Why did you even come to treat with me?"

"A siege is deadly dull. I wanted to see this stump of yours and hear whatever excuses you cared to offer up for your latest enormities. They were feebler than I'd hoped. You always disappoint, Kingslayer."

Jaime then proceeds to hang some hungry outlaws – outlaws that were created by his war (A war that started because of his casual adultery with the King’s wife, his twin sister) – and boasts about being Goldenhand the Just. Never stopping to thing about why there are hungry desperate men in the riverlands in the first place. Catelyn Stark asks him to save her daughters in return for his freedom – he hands that task over to Brienne and continues to push Lannister agenda by seeing off Jeyne Poole as she leaves to marry Ramsay Bolton.

A groom led a fine grey mare out the stable door. On her back was mounted a skinny hollow-eyed girl wrapped in a heavy cloak. The girl’s long brown hair blew wild in the wind. She had a pretty face, he thought, but her eyes were sad and wary.

When she saw him, she inclined her head. “Ser Jaime,” she said in a thin anxious voice. “You are kind to see me off.”

Jaime had never paid much attention to Arya Stark, but it seemed to him that this girl was older. “I understand you’re to be married.” “I am to wed Lord Bolton’s son, Ramsay. He used to be a Snow, but His Grace has made him a Bolton. They say he’s very brave. I am so happy.”

Then why do you sound so frightened? “I wish you joy, my lady.”

“Good speed,” he told Steelshanks. Nage raised his peace banner, and the northmen formed a column as ragged as their fur cloaks and trotted out the castle gate. The thin girl on the grey mare looked small and forlorn in their midst.

He has no issues sending off this small, frightened girl to marry someone like Ramsay Bolton.

Ultimately Jaime only refuses to help Cersei because he learns about her other affairs and that she was sleeping with other men. He disposes of her because she was not faithful to him. Not because of any great revelation about good and evil.

And honestly, more than Jaime becoming a better person through his relationship with Brienne, I am worried about Brienne getting corrupted by someone like Jaime. Lady Stoneheart has every right to hang Jaime Lannister – after everything Jaime has inflicted on both house Stark and Tully. If Brienne tries to intervene on his behalf, I am going to be displeased.

So ultimately, considering book Jaime’s story so far, I really don’t have an issue with the show ending. Mainly because I am tired of years and years of Jaime apologists (from hanging out on book forums) justifying and excusing all his actions – including attempted child murder. I personally think Brienne deserves better than him.

I really don’t think Jaime is getting a happily ever after ending with Brienne in the books – and the show just fast tracked to his ending. He is most probably going to kill Cersei and die in the process as his final act.

Ultimately, I think it’s Theon who is more sympathetic and has an actual redemption arc in the books – despite having done far worse. While Jaime sends offs a nobody like Jeyne Poole to get raped and tortured by Ramsay Bolton, Theon Greyoy– despite his own rape and torture at Ramsay’s hands – risks his own life and worse to save hers. We see Theon’s genuine regret and remorse for his actions and a desire to right them. I don’t think Theon is going to survive either, but I see him having the same ending in the books – dying while protecting/saving Bran Stark.

So in a way I do think we got Jaime and Theon’s book endings on the show. The show just took the wrong way to get there.

#Jaime Lannister #Cersei Lannister #Brienne of Tarth deserves better #Theon Greyjoy #GOT #series finale

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merlins-thoughts · 6 years ago

Text

Sweeter Dreams

A Merthur Fic

Word Count: 1916

From this prompt: https://kinksofcamelot.livejournal.com/1806.html?thread=519694#t519694

Sent in by @arthur-of-the-pendragons

~An alternate ending to Season 2, Episode 10, “Sweet Dreams”~

Summary: Arthur is under a love spell and about to fight King Olaf to the death, so naturally, Merlin tells Gwen to kiss Arthur to break the spell. Merlin assumes Gwen is Arthur’s true love. Gwen disagrees.

In which Merlin and Arthur are oblivious idiots and Gwen is the only one with common sense.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

“Gwen? GWEN?! Gwen it’s an emergency!” Merlin yelled while pounding on her door. Guinevere groaned and opened her eyes. It was her day off and she had been planning to spend it having a lie-in, but here she was, awakened at dawn by a half-deranged Merlin. She rolled onto her side, facing Lancelot, who looked about as exhausted and annoyed as she felt. He rolled his eyes.

“So much for the lie-in,” he grumbled.

“Please let me in Gwen,” Merlin begged, “I’m sorry about the flower mix up. It was all my fault, not Arthur’s, don’t blame him. He really likes you, Gwen, and he needs your help!” She sighed and began gathering up Lancelot’s things.

“Are they still doing this?” Lancelot asked.

“They’re both still completely oblivious, if that’s what you’re asking,” Gwen replied.

“He still thinks you’re in love with Arthur?” Lancelot questioned, disbelieving.

“Yes. Only now it involves Lady Vivian. Inexplicably. I don’t know, Lance, Arthur was acting oddly infatuated with her yesterday. Maybe he’s trying to make Merlin jealous, or maybe he’s just too thick to recognize what he’s feeling. Either way,” she said as the pounding on the door became more vigorous, “You have to go. Merlin’s not going to give up on this one. You can go out through the back window, just be careful to avoid the guards by the South Gate.” She gave him a hurried kiss before yelling towards the door, “Yes Merlin, just a moment. I need to get dressed.”

In truth, she thought it was rather sweet how worried Merlin was about hurting her. In his mind, she was Arthur’s future wife. In reality, however, she was a past flame of Arthur’s at best, her time with Lancelot effectively killing any lingering feelings she had towards the Prince. Merlin, on the other hand, was painfully infatuated with him. Gwen would watch half in amusement and half in pity as Merlin poured himself into the Prince’s every whim. Arthur and Merlin were like an old married couple, always together, always bickering, but each willing to lay down their life for the other without hesitation. Gwen thought it should be obvious to everyone by now, what with the amount of, frankly, indecent eye contact that occurred between the two. However, as usual, she was the first to uncover the truth, enlisting Lancelot’s help in scheme after scheme to get the two together. It never worked, and now Merlin thought that Arthur was in love with her.

She couldn’t help but feel responsible for that particular unfortunate side effect. In an attempt to coax Arthur into a state of emotional vulnerability wherein he may finally pull his royal head out of his princely ass, she spent more time with him than perhaps was advisable for a chambermaid. Merlin walked in on their conversations several times, and each time she could see a moment of unguarded pain in his eyes before he managed to cover it with his stubborn cheerfulness. All of this tension came to a boiling point two days ago, when Arthur woke up, apparently deeply in love with Lady Vivian. This sparked a series of ridiculous, farcical events that turned out to be more than Gwen could follow, so she decided to leave it be. Generally, she believed, things have a way of working themselves out, so she spent the next 48 hours trying her best to avoid the castle altogether. Unfortunately, she thought, as she remembered the agitated Merlin on the other side of her door, it appeared the problem had found her. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for what was almost certainly going to be some sort of magic-fueled nonsense.

A few moments later she unbolted the door, stepping out of the way as Merlin spilled frantically into the room.

“Oh Gwen, thank goodness. I need you to follow me right now. Arthur’s in trouble,” then he took off running out the door again, checking over his shoulder to make sure she was following. She ran after him, a pit of worry growing in her stomach despite herself. As she climbed the stairs to Arthur’s chamber, she finally caught up with Merlin and noticed that he was shaking. Whatever was happening to Arthur had deeply upset him, and Gwen felt bitter guilt well up within her for trying to ignore the problem. Merlin opened the chamber door and there stood Arthur, half dressed in his armor and practicing his footwork.

“He’s dueling Olaf in twenty minutes,” Merlin panted, “it’s to the death.”

“That’s awful, Merlin,” Gwen said. Then a beat, “But I’m not quite sure how I can help with that.”

“You need to kiss him.”

“What? Merlin! Honestly. This is ridiculous.”

“Gwen,” he said, looking her in the eye for the first time since entering the chamber, “It’s a love spell. He’s under a love spell. And Vivian too, I think. Olaf caught them together and threw down his gauntlet. Arthur said—” the pain in Merlin’s eyes was palpable now, “He said that you can’t choose who you love. And then he picked it up. It’s not real. It’s a love spell, Gwen,” he was rambling, “I know Arthur, I know him. He doesn’t fall in and out of love that fast. He just needs you to kiss him and it should snap him out of the spell.”

“Why me?” Gwen asked.

“What do you mean?” Merlin replied, slowing down for the first time all morning.

“Why do I have to kiss him?” Merlin looked puzzled.

“Because you’re his true love. A kiss from his true love should break the spell.” The answer hit Gwen like a blow to the chest. Then she started to laugh, a surprised chuckle at first but growing stronger until she could no longer speak. Both Arthur and Merlin paused to stare at her. The absurdity of their matching expressions only made her laugh harder.

“I don’t understand what’s so funny,” Merlin snapped.

“It’s not—It’s not me. I’m not— I’m not—,” but she was laughing too hard to get the words out. Instead, she grabbed Merlin by the shoulders and gently shoved him toward Arthur, who still stood, mouth agape, with his sword in one hand, a miniature portrait of Lady Vivian dropping out of the other and clattering on the floor.

Merlin gave a nervous chuckle, “Um, Gwen? We only have about seventeen minutes, so can you do the kissing first and the total break from reality second?”

“Gods, Merlin,” Gwen said, finally catching her breath and wiping the tears of laughter from her eyes, “I’m not his true love. You are.”

“Don’t be stupid. How would I be his true love. He loves you. That doesn’t make any sense,” Merlin retorted, taking several hurried steps away from Arthur.

“It would make perfect sense if either of you possessed any observational skills whatsoever,” Gwen said, pushing him back towards the Prince.

“Look, I don’t know what you’re doing,” Merlin was visibly panicking now, pacing up and down the room, “but Arthur is going to die if his true love doesn’t kiss him right now.”

“All the more reason for you to kiss him,” she was yelling, trying to drown out stupidity with volume. It didn’t drown out the stupidity entirely, but at least it made Merlin stop pacing long enough for her to grab his hand and place it forcefully in Arthur’s.

“What in the name of the gods is going on,” Merlin said, trying to pull away, “would someone care to explain in to me or am I just supposed to exist out here wallowing in confusion while I watch you laugh yourself into an early grave over this man’s coming death?” But Gwen just held their hands together tighter, fixing Merlin with a pointed stare before glancing back at the complete befuddlement on Arthur’s face. And here, cradling both their hands in hers, she allowed herself, just for a moment, to imagine what it would be like if she were Arthur’s true love. But a moment was all she needed. She knew where she stood and she knew who she loved, and it was not this man.

“No, Merlin. It has to be you.” The tenderness in her voice seem to catch Merlin off guard. He hesitated.

“Fine. Like this idiot said, you can’t choose who you love, and he loves you. But fine. Know that I’m only doing this to prove you wrong,” the vitriol in Merlin’s voice was in stark opposition to the anxiety painted over his every feature. Gwen nodded encouragingly as Merlin looked down, drew a shaky breath and then, with the frustrated resignation of a man who believes he has nothing left to lose, he touched his forehead to Arthur’s. Arthur immediately froze in confusion, and Gwen watched for several moments as Merlin gathered up his resolve and pressed his lips to the Prince’s forcefully. At first, Arthur only stood, stiff as a board. But then slowly, like a river thawing after a long winter, Arthur began to move. His sword clattered to the ground as he took Merlin’s face in both of his hands, fingers reaching to curl into his hair. Merlin broke the kiss abruptly, breathing heavily and staring at Arthur, eyes full of incredulity. Arthur’s face held a similar expression of disbelief. He gave Merlin a tired smile, still half in a magic-fueled fog.

He ran his hands down to Merlin’s hips, pulling him close and saying, “I’m not at all sure how we got here, but I’m glad we did.”

“That would be thanks to me, actually,” Gwen spoke up, not even trying to keep the smugness out of her voice, “I believe I owe Merlin an ‘I told you so’.”

Merlin flushed, immediately trying to hide it with an impressive eye roll, “Oh gods, I’m never going to live this down am I? ‘Little Merlin gets so lost in his own self-pity that he misses the obvious’?”

“In your defence,” Gwen teased, “Arthur played a similarly idiotic part. I’m sorry for meddling but honestly, you two, I don’t know what you would have done if left to your own devices. It would have taken centuries for either of you to pay enough attention to your feelings to make any sort of a move.

Arthur, still baffled and clutching at Merlin but chuckling now as well, stuttered, “Can I—can I repay you in any way? I’ll give you a village. I’ll give you five villages. A hundred villages. Anything you want, just name it.”

“As tempting as ‘a hundred villages’ is,” Gwen smiled, “I think I must decline. Instead, how about you bring Lancelot out of exile and let us both take tomorrow morning off.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow and looked at Merlin, who wore a look of dawning realization. “Ohhhh,” he breathed quietly, “Yes. Of course. Consider it done.” Gwen smiled to herself as she imagined tomorrow’s lie-in, returning from her daydream just in time to catch Arthur grinning at Merlin while intertwining their hands.

“I’ll just be off then,” she said, silently congratulating herself on a job well done. She was almost to the stairs when she heard Arthur’s voice from the doorway of his chambers.

“Gwen!” he shouted. She turned and looked at him, smiling, “Thank you.” She nodded and turned back, walking down the stairs and away from the giggling emanating from the Prince’s chambers. She and Lancelot weren’t going to be the only ones having a lie-in tomorrow.

#merthur #fanfic #fanfiction #merthur fanfic #bbc merlin #merlin #Arthur Pendragon #merlin and arthur #emrys #merlin emrys

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sieben9 · 6 years ago

Text

“the song in your heart” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

OK.

So.

…

You sure kept that one quiet, huh?

I just… :: gestures:: Wow. That was a lot. Also, I may have checked the episode two or three times while writing this, because I kept thinking that maybe I made all of this up. And nope! It’s still there.

Alright, I’ll just go to straight under the cut because I’m in a paragraph kind of mood.

So, this one is an odd one (surprise), and I’m really glad I’m not writing “review” at the top of these, because for the life of me, I wouldn’t know how to review this. I cannot tell if it was good. It very probably wasn’t, objectively speaking, but I just… can’t care. I had too much fun.

I mean look at them

And when all is said and done, I’m not sure what else I would expect from the one musical episode in a semi-serious TV drama. I think the placement hurt it, because this close to the finale, they had to combine the singing with at least some semblance of finale-level plot, but more on that later.

I wasn't incredibly impressed with any of the songs, but they were decent (and I still have that stupid pirate chorus stuck in my head; get out of there, guys, there's really not enough room as it is!) and so were the performances. Basically, none of the technical stuff was bad enough to take me out of the story, except for That Dress. Dear lord what happened there. (I mean, I got a very nice and comprehensive list of posts outlining what exactly went wrong, so I don't have to speculate, but still. Damn.)

As plot excuses go, the wish was... honestly, on par with what I've seen from other musical episodes. That’s the thing about putting a musical episode in something that usually has no singing—you kind of do need a plot excuse. (Unlike actual musicals, where the singing should only be acknowledged in the case of farcical comedy. Yes, I’m looking at you, Galavant.) Again, it was nothing to write home about, but enough of a handwave that it didn't take me out of the moment.

And the moment was fun!

I think what helped (most of) the episode was that for once, it didn’t take itself very seriously. Especially Regina’s whole introductory scene was “OK, this is ridiculous, but why not have fun with it”, which… is a good mindset to be in for this whole thing.

Also, the choreography was pure gold.

special mention goes to Granny's "wtf?" face

I won’t go through all of the songs individually, so here’s my highlight reel:

“curses, potions, or beans” Just… that line. I nearly suffocated from laughing too hard

also holy crap, Josh can sing

that damn pirate song is still stuck in my head!

as is Regina’s dramatic rock-piano thing. my head is a jukebox, don’t worry about it

also, Hook, have you considered just asking Rumple out on a date?

That ending song makes no sense, but I loved the chorus part and am therefore willing to forgive it for that

The weak link, as it were, seems to be the present-day plot. I mean, I get it. You have to string those 19 minutes(!) of music together somehow, but I can’t help but feel that a less… intense plotline might have been helpful. I mean, Emma deciding to give up her life so her friends and family can live is some heavy stuff, and squeezing it in between the singing extravaganza did it no favours.

Intellectually, I know that serious drama went down, but all my emotional space is occupied by chasing that damn pirate song out of my brain.

Same goes for the whole “Oh no, treachery dark and deadly!” reveal of Rumple working with the Black Fairy

Gotta say… that bit looked bad. What, pray tell, is your endgame here? Do you want her to cast the curse? Why? Is there any way you’re better off with that happening than without? Guh. Rumple. Talk to us.

And, just because it’s a bit too much of an event to just ignore…

the greenscreen is strong in this one... what happened, didn’t you find a large enough roof?

::sigh:: OK, you know I don’t exactly love this ship, so I’m just going to skip over all of that. But I’m also not a fan of this wedding in general. This didn’t look like something either of these characters would do. OK, maybe one exception: Emma having her family there. That’s something that I absolutely believe would have been important to her. But everything else seemed just deeply generic. Don’t get me wrong, having your family there is pretty generic, too, but at least that’s something any wedding of Emma’s should have contained, so I felt the need to point it out.

…now I want to write a thing. Which will have to wait, because Other Things have priority, but this is going in my idea folder, definitely ::cough::

To sum up: maybe this episode was an ill-conceived filler right before the finale of a season that didn’t advance the plot in any meaningful way. But frankly, if all it did was bring me, as a viewer, forty minutes of pure, uncomplicated fun, I don’t really feel like faulting it for that.

Mind you, it’s not what I’d want to see every week, because there’s other shows that do that better, so it’s quite nice that they all get horribly cursed at the end of this. Hopefully, the curse will also murder that dress.

…finale next time, huh? (Yes, we’ll be watching both episodes in one go)

#ouat #once upon a time #the song in your heart #sieben watches ouat #sieben talks #anti cs #anti emma's wardrobe #ouat writing critical #(all very mildly except for the wardrobe)#(i'm merciless there)#guys this was so much fun you cannot even imagine #it's a day later and i'm still grinning like an idiot when i think about it #also i'm starting to get really excited for s7

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jewlwpet · 6 years ago

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Space Pirate Mito, overall impression

This is a shounen anime from 1999. It’s sci-fi, as you might expect from the name. It has a wacky sense of humor, an endearing cast of characters, a fascinating and unique storyline, and some deeply affecting emotional scenes. It also featured numerous LGBT elements, the execution of which was... so-so. Could’ve been much worse, but also could’ve been much better. I do think it tries to present a positive message, and it isn’t always effective, but it is certainly memorable. There are numerous things that could’ve been improved, but I think the show as-is has a lot of value mainly coming from its uniqueness.

If you live in the U.S., it’s available for free (both seasons) on youtube from Nozomi Entertainment, just like Revolutionary Girl Utena is. Season 1 is also on both Crunchyroll and Amazon Prime; I don’t know what other countries this applies to. Piracy sites have this show too, of course, so you have options regardless. It’s also available on DVD for a surprisingly reasonable price, 22.49 USD from rightstuf, and that’s if you get it new.

Here’s the synopsis I like best for season 1, the one from animenewsnetwork:

Mito isn't just another space pirate, she's a three foot tall childlike alien with enough guts to outshine a supernova. She's known as the galaxy's most dangerous pirate, a wanted criminal who destroys a dozen police space cruisers every day before breakfast. But all she really wants is to be called "Mom."

Incidentally, Mito is voiced by the late Tomoko Kawakami, who also voiced Utena Tenjou! This was shocking for me to learn; they sound nothing alike, which just shows the versatility of her talent.

Wikipedia gives the following synopsis:

The first series of the farcical sci-fi title mainly revolves around the small space pirate Mito and her fights with and flights from the galactic police force, as well as her relationship with her half-human Earthling son Aoi, initially largely ignorant of his mother's spacefaring life.

This is basically accurate; however, there’s also a complex and compelling story that begins to unfold in the later episodes.

It’s in the unravelling of this story that the show’s LGBT themes are first introduced. I’ll insert a readmore here, because this post is getting long, so I might as well cut off before getting into plot spoilers: But if any of you goes off to watch it based on the above, there is a high chance you’ll end up checking back here at some point to determine if it’s worth sticking with.

If you’ve watched Simoun--another LGBT-related series that I adore and appreciate for its originality despite some serious flaws--this’ll sound familiar to you.

For Mito’s species, “sex differentiation” happens once a person is 10,000 years old. It’s not something that happens by itself, though; it is undergone by “choice.” I’m putting that in quotation marks because it certainly isn’t a free decision. Children are allowed to be flexible with their gender presentation, but “growing up,” in the eyes of society, means to become either a man or a woman, by fixed, preset standards. Those who don’t are socially ostracized.

In Simoun, at least, if you have your heart set on one role or the other, you can be sure to get it. Here... it’s not really clear, it seems that there is no such guarantee (I’m not sure if it’s just random, or if it’s arranged by one’s parents). Hence, it’s easy to imagine why some would find such an event absolutely horrifying.

One of the characters has a backstory that involves resisting this; I was really impressed with how this was established, except for the fact that this character did happen to be a villain. However, he (the character is shown saying “I’m a boy! I’ve already been differentiated” in his backstory, so that’s what I’m going with) joins the heroes’ side in the second season and is never made to conform, nor are the show’s protagonists ever anything but respectful.

However. For plot reasons that really do make sense in context (...sort of. it’s still contrived), Aoi ends up having to undergo sexual differentiation even though Aoi had been following a human pattern of physiological development up to that point. Aoi has no control over the process, and when it ends, everyone is shocked to find that Aoi is now “a girl.”

...Well, the humans are shocked. The aliens mostly take it in stride.

Aoi is also queen of the galaxy now, because sometimes that just happens.

For the record, this all happens in the final episode of season 1. This means that we don’t get to see the initial period of Aoi adjusting to this new role. Ultimately, I think that’s probably a good thing because it leads to many of the usual uncomfortable tropes being glossed over, but it also limits our insight into Aoi’s thoughts and feelings about this, which is pretty important. There are some mixed messages.

Something decidedly Bad is the way that the viewers are clued in on what happened to Aoi, which is... a couple of girls accidentally seeing under Aoi’s clothes and being shocked... and then the teacher wanted to look, ugh. That’s as bad as it ever got but it’s Pretty Bad for sure.

Onto Aoi’s reaction.

This is going to require some context. What first happened was that Aoi’s body became impossible for the aliens’ machines to detect as male or female, which led Mito to realize and explain that Aoi must be going through Sex Differentiation now. Only, the one weapon that could defeat the villain requires the user to have undergone it and be recognizably one or the other. This was the villain’s plan all along; he did “experiments” on Aoi to induce this, not out of a desire to cause suffering but for pragmatic reasons which still sound extremely contrived (though I was pleased to find that season 2 actually addressed why the weapons were built like this, whose decision it was, who was benefiting from it and how).

Consequently, Mito was demanding that Aoi “become either a man or a woman immediately.” Because Aoi had no idea how to control the process, the decision was made for Aoi’s (female) love interest to kiss Aoi and potentially “turn him into a man.” The reason I’m bringing this up is because notably, Aoi is not necessarily very keen on this idea, saying, “What about my feelings?” But it happens, and even, annoyingly, works long enough for the weapon to be used. (Not gonna lie, I was totally hoping that the opposite would happen and this would be the catalyst for Aoi taking on her True Form as a lesbian. That would’ve been epic). That said, it doesn’t last, and s2 leaves absolutely no room for the idea that kissing girls is inherently a “male” thing, so I don’t consider it a big deal on the whole, just such a missed opportunity.

Mutsumi, Aoi’s love interest, said in the end that her feelings for Aoi were the same regardless of what happened, but then ruined it by adding “Besides, I’m sure I can turn him back into a man.” (Aoi had not said a single word this point; she just thought that was something she could decide on her own, ugh--Mutsumi has clearly gotten over this by season 2, though; it never comes up again). At this point Aoi ran away “to find a planet where I can become a man,” according to the note left behind. It’s very possible Aoi just wanted to escape from everyone’s incessant comments and questioning, but that’s only speculation on my part. The next thing we see is Aoi being crowned queen, appearing somewhat exasperated and resigned.

Now onto season 2! Things get better... a lot better. Season 2 has its own unique and compelling story arc, with a new, more powerful villain. But the first thing to talk about how it opens, with an OP that seems to show a typical romcom with a scifi twist, one that happens to be about two girls. I love it.

S1′s OP centers around Mito, with this one centering around Aoi; because of that, it doesn’t feel like “now that we have a Female Protagonist we must make it a Love Story.” Just in case that was on anyone’s mind.

What the song tells us about Aoi’s perspective is interesting, but it can be hard to connect it to what’s shown in the show itself. It starts out with the line, “I’m a happy but lonely girl,” and includes the line “Hey, can you understand a maiden’s heart?” but Aoi certainly makes no such pronouncements withing the show (this would really make the show more comfortable to watch, because then it would certainly be Good and Right that everyone considers Aoi a girl now) and in my opinion would probably not feel comfortable doing so. I can imagine Aoi listening to a song like this and secretly strongly identifying, but that’s just speculation on my part.

I’m probably taking it more seriously than it was ever intended, but I will say, I don’t think it was made to be a mean-spirited joke. It doesn’t feel ironic. The visuals match the lyrics and melody rather than contrasting with them, and the upbeat tone is the same as that of the first OP. My best guess as to the motivation behind making it is that it’s to really bring the point home to the viewers that Aoi is a girl now and that that wasn’t just a silly joke ending to the first season but represented a major change in the status quo.

Early on in the season, Aoi has a dream about becoming a boy again and being with Mutsumi. If you want to believe the OP you could say that this is because Aoi feels that being with Mutsumi (romantically) would necessarily require being a boy. And this is a worry that Aoi canonically had, early on, but I think that most viewers would take the scene at face value and it might not be any deeper that that.

There was one other scene in the season that suggested Aoi would prefer to live as a boy, this one towards the end. In fact, Aoi shouts outright, “I would go back to being a guy if I could.” That said, the context is that a villain is torturing Aoi in an attempt to make that happen. Considering Aoi had already surrendered to that villain to save others (don’t worry, it all works out in the end), this could be as simple as “I would do what you wanted if I knew how.”

What I was hoping for, and what I think would have been awesome, is if at the end, Aoi would get a choice and would choose staying queen of the galaxy over becoming a man. Unfortunately, we didn’t get that. We do see that the experience has made Aoi a stronger person, more confident and expressive, and the show does end on a good note: The galaxy has been saved, and Aoi is free to be with the girl she loves, and looking as happy as in the OP for the first time ever, and has taken control of her life in general at last.

I didn’t mention this, but there’s another girl who has a huge crush on Aoi in season 2, and I was worried she’d be a “predatory lesbian” stereotype, but to my relief, this was not the case, and she ended up being one of my favorites.

She’s just like Nanami (from Utena--the director of this show actually directed Utena’s third ep, On The Night of the Ball) but openly gay and I LIVE for that. She has some great character development too.

#space pirate mito #uchuu kaizoku mito no boukugen #stellar buster mito #aoi mitsukuni #mito mitsukuni

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tranqueenila · 6 years ago

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Fated.

She quickened her pace of running when she saw the large clouds started to gather in the sky, leaving nothing but a tar-black view for her to gaze up at. The rain was coming for sure, she thought. The sound of the wind moaning against the trees occupied her heavy breathing: both getting uneven as time went by, her hands fisting into tight balls as she sprinted her way back home. Getting rained on, soaked and cold throughout the rest of the journey was literally the last thing she would ever want to happen to herself at the moment. However, nature seemed to have a better, or mayhaps, worse plan for this petite girl. In about a block-away distance from her apartment, she felt the first drop on top of her head. One drop. Two drop. It kicked off as a short tapping, then it became a pitter-patter and soon enough, the rain began pouring down heavily. The clouds squeezed their beads of water onto the ground and at that very moment, she knew it was not a good day and will never ever be a good day for her.

By the time she reached home, she was completely drenched from head to toe. To tell that she was completely annoyed and displeased was.. literally an understatement. Sighing, she ran the pad of her thumb across the glass of her watch and squinted her eyes to take a closer look of the time. “09:00 AM,” she breathed before heaving another lingering sigh to discard the wet fabrics and rewarded herself a warm bath. It was not actually a reward, not even close to one. But, let’s just say she was just trying to ease herself down, making herself feel better after the unexpected downpour earlier.

Jennie. That was her name. It was never her hobby to run and jog around as she had always been occupied with works and stuffs. Back then, she always spent her time getting engrossed in myriads of documents piling up on her table in the middle of her dad’s office. But now, that ended. Momentarily, at least. This all happened because her dad decided that it was time for her family to migrate back to her birthplace, and for that to happen, they had to leave South Korea. She had to leave South Korea. For the family though, it was no big deal. They were just leaving a country. But not for Jennie. She had to leave the country and someone that she loved so dearly.

Maybe, just maybe, that explained why she had gotten herself into this new haste habit, chaos lifestyle. She noticed how she’d jolt awake at 4 in the morning, unable to coax herself back to sleep and end up staying awake until the sun came in the view. It left her exhausted, but she felt as if her hands were tied. There was absolutely nothing she could do to make herself feel better, to make things get better, to let herself live better. She couldn’t even find ways to knock herself out in bed because everything was in vail. Every small trials were futile. Therefore, she decided to get herself tired. Like very, very, very tired, so that she could sleep in ease. That was the reason why she left the house at 8 in the morning for a run, just to get herself doused under the rain and now she was back in the bathroom, the entire body except her neck upwards dipped in the warm, foamy water; the same frown drew across her face.

“Great,” she spat bitterly in a quiet whisper. “It supposed to be a part of healing to get over Daniel but I ended up getting myself borderline sick. Very great.”

- - -

“Jennie!”

“Yeah, Dad?”

“Do you perhaps, need a vacation? The last time I visited your apartment and I swear to God, you weren’t in your best state ever.”

Jennie rolled her eyes, tipping her head to one side so that the smart device stay sandwiched in between her ear and her shoulder. It was such a sappy conversation with a sappy topic and a sappy effort to make her feel times better. The last time her dad barged into her apartment, she was holding up a canned vodka in her hand, her macbook on her lap. Her ‘Hi, dad’ was a little different that day, too. Rather than saying it verbally, she flicked her fingers and opened the drink, leaving the hissing sound do the talking. Definitely not in my best state ever, she shrugged.

“Nah, I’m fine. Just give me a few more days off and I’ll get back to the office.”

“No, not really.” Jennie could hear his heavy sigh. There was a long pause in between, in which Jennie didn’t even bother to interrupt while taking a platter filled with her sandwich to the couch. “I need you in the office but.. just, not like this, okay. You ain’t gonna work that out.” He began again, earning a hum from her daughter as a hint for him to carry on. Whatever there was in his mind, she couldn’t care less. It wouldn’t make any difference, so why bother, right? There was another silence bestowing the phone call, and it could even stay like that forever for all she cared. Chewing on the sandwich still, she gave her dad a chance to spill it.

“If I let you go to Korea, would you love that?”

Those words made Jennie choke on the sandwich almost immediately and instantly that the platter almost slipped out of her palm, leaving her dad on hold whilst her other hand was busy patting her chest to get rid of the food stuck inside. After a split moment or two, she reached her hand forward to mug down the water, regaining her composure before getting back on the call with her dad.

“Sorry dad, I was, uh, too shocked. What were you saying? I mean, yes! I want to go back to Korea. Yes, thank you! Bye!”

Frankly, she didn’t even wait for his reply or whatsoever but hung it up right after. Jennie knew that her dad knew going back to Korea would make her happy. Hell, her reaction was too palpable, there was nowhere in the godly heaven he couldn’t grasp that. It was probably his instinct that she was not enjoying any of her time here in her own birthplace. It was a beautiful city, a great one to reside. But she missed Korea. She missed everything about that country.

And she was not gonna decline such offer when it was right before herself.

- - -

“Damn, I almost forgot how cold Korea is.” Jennie breathed, wisps of frosty air escaping her lips as she made her way through the pavement. It was mostly covered with snow, sometimes mounted a little at some parts that had Jennie getting [this] close to trip. It was white everywhere, painted a little red and brown here and there, now and then. It felt like home. Not exactly, but close.

She arrived in Seoul three days ago, and it was honestly a mistake of agreeing without consulting her dad about it. Jennie forgot how the seasons ran differently at some countries, and it was winter in Korea. And there she was, clad in white thick knitted sweater with a black Chanel trench coat on top. Definitely not a winter choice. Since ever her arrival, she had met a few of her friends. Rosie just happened to come back on random occasions with her family before flying back to Australia, so they got to spend a little time together until the departure took place. She was enjoying her stay, so far. And guess what would make her feel even better?

Hot chocolate. Exactly.

It was freezing cold outside. Jennie decided to give her favourite café a visit too. Unplanned, but it was one of the must-go places in her short journey here. Pushing the door with her gloved hand, she stepped in and the warmth quickly enveloped her body, granting herself in such a great sensation. The smell of the hotly brewed coffee and freshly baked cookies filling her nostrils immediately, invading her mind next that left her exhaling out loud. Now, that felt a little more like home.

“Hot chocolate, please,” she ordered, paying for it right after so that she can secure herself a seat for a longer time. This café served one of the best pastries too. It was pretty close to her apartment when she lived in Korea back then, hence giving herself the full permit to be the permanent customer here. She always dropped by to get herself a bag of bagels on her way to her workplace, and never missed a day not getting her daily dosage of hot chocolate on her way back home. It was her routine, and she was not even complaining because damn, she just loved every little inch of the café. It varied from the way the hanging little lamps shimmer under the reflection of the glasses to the way the frames decorated the wall, the white cabinet with black linings that blended so well with the white painted walls. These seemed to be.. aesthetically pleasing. Something that she couldn’t find elsewhere. Not even in New Zealand.

“I’m sorry, uh, Miss.” A voice interrupted Jennie’s calm thoughts, earning a soft hum from the latter as she sipped on her sugary drink. “May I sit here? It’s too cold outside but it’s too packed inside. I couldn’t find any other seat except this one in front of you. May I?”

“Of course. Please have a seat, Mister— Oh my God.”

A hand flew to her mouth as she lifted up her gaze to lock it with the stranger. It seemed like the other person— a man, experienced the same feeling too as his eyes went so wide, probably mirroring her expression right now. They shared looks after looks, words bubbling in their throats but none of them got to utter even a single syllable, not until they broke it at the same time.

“Jennie.”

“Daniel.”

The next thing Jennie remember was seeing the addressed man pulling out the chair and settled himself in front of her. This entire encounter was just.. farcical. They broke up right before Jennie moved back to New Zealand because “We ain’t gonna work this out” reason. It was not her choice too, really. She just couldn’t afford to keep it going, knowing that she was gonna be miles and miles away from him but still keeping a tight hold on his whereabouts. She was afraid that he might feel restricted. She was afraid if he decided to end it himself.

“So, back in Korea, huh?” Daniel quipped, taking a short sip of his black, hot liquid while keeping the eye contact going. The question caused the woman before him to chuckle and nod.

“Yes. Just arrived, actually. A couple of days ago.” Jennie said. She showed a great effort trying to explain things, and she noticed how Daniel’s expression had gotten softer and softer as times went by. The longer they kept their eyes locked, they deeper they got back into the puddle of mixed feelings. Those feelings that they once shared before together.

“So... how are you doing? So far?” Her voice rang again after she cleared her throat, obviously trying to converse as she shifted a little due to the discomfort of the awkward silence. Daniel settled down his cup and interlocked his fingers together. Silently, he replied, “Nah. Been working. Working on stuffs and working out” that ended with a smug grin in a teasing manner. Geez, he didn’t lie for sure. Jennie noticed how his buildup had gotten a little firmer, a little stronger and slightly broader. “You, Jane?”

The nickname rolled off the tip of his tongue oh so beautifully that it got Jennie’s heart doing frantic backflips, heat creeping up her pale neck. For once she was thankful that she had a turtleneck to cover it up. She was trying to play it cool but this goddamn guy in front of her was smiling so widely, she barely made a single word out. “I’ve been well.” Oh, that was a lie. “Just like you, I work but with my dad. It just the same old problems, you know. Unable to sleep at night,” she paused.

“And being awake by 4am.” Both of them said at the same time.

Jennie shot him a what-the-heck look, just to be reminded that Daniel had always been an observant and laughed it off softly, at the same time getting herself blushed. No doubt, she probably was like that before too. But she was too caught up with the affections he was showering her with that she didn’t realise she had the problem. It was back in New Zealand when she knew she had one. But now, she literally had another problem. Their eyes met again, this time filled with adoration and love as the entire scene seemed to freeze for them to capture the moment.

Let’s be real over here. None of them wanted the break-up. Really, Jennie did not come back to Korea for him. Hell, she didn’t even think of their lives to cross path ever again. They were different in every possible ways, from the way they were raised, the people they were engaging themselves with, etc. But now it happened, and she wouldn’t want to leave him ever again. Looking at him this close, she wanted to be even closer. Her eyes got a tad higher, trying to reminisce how soft the locks felt in between her dainty fingers then raked her gaze down to scan his facial features and mom, how she missed kissing his forehead, his cheeks, his pointy nose, his chin and those pink plump lips. She was probably being obvious with her action but for once, just for this once, she didn’t care. Plus, she could bet herself that Daniel was doing to the same to her face. His beauty was something that she will never be able to impart, the words seemed to get less meanings compared to him. And that moment itself, she knew that she was falling for him all over again.

“Hot chocolate as usual?” His voice shook her from her intense staring, causing her to lean back slightly with her scarlet cheeks. The corner of Daniel’s lips tugged upwards into a cheeky and amused smile, his words were laced with tease and joke as per usual. He loved how Jennie was too careless at things like this that it made her look like a little kitten scurrying away in hopes she’d given an amnesty. Darn cute.

“Yeah. And you, black coffee, less sugar as usual?” Jennie shot back, batting her eyelashes at him just to earn a guffaw as a reply. It made Jennie smile immediately, as if they were meant to be in this scene. Her heart skipped a beat again when Daniel leaned forward on his elbows. “Yes. You remember my favourite.” He said, before pushing himself off the chair to stand on his feet. Jennie was fast enough to stop him though, her fingers holding on his wrist to stone his movement. She didn’t even tell herself about it but she just did it off her own bat.

“Do.. you, perhaps, want to come over to my place? We can talk. It’s uh..” Think of excuses, Jennie, think, think, think, think. “.. cold outside! Way too cold.”

Idiot.

It took Daniel a few seconds to process what she was saying, and his ears got slightly reddened at the same time. He nodded, and he slipped her grasp off his wrist just to drag his palm across hers. Her hand felt so small, so delicate, so fragile and so cold. He shifted his gaze, grabbing the glove on her side to ease her fingers into the thick cloth. “Come on, Jane” came his reply, the smile widened that left Jennie speechless.

Jennie guided the way towards her apartment, hand-in-hand with Daniel. They began to get louder and louder, sometimes Jennie jumped on the balls of her feet while she explained stuffs and Daniel, with his usual instincts, instantly wrapped an arm around her waist to make sure she didn’t trip on the snowy road. He laughed along, their laughter rang the bells that Jennie hang on the white-painted door.

“Come in, Daniel.” Jennie pushed the door open, revealing the same apartment as she left but slightly fancier now that she brought some things from New Zealand. The rest was the same though. The same gray couch with a glassed table in front, the same TV, the same wallpaper and the same frames that filled up one side of the wall. They were all their pictures and she didn’t even bother to take them down.

“You know, I felt like it was really unfair for us to break up before.” Daniel started off, shrugging his thick jacket off his shoulder and draped it on the countertop. He ambled his way to the living room but turned out right before his knees hit the couch. “I miss you a lot, Jane. I waited for you.”

Screw the butterflies, Jennie felt the entire zoo in the pit of her stomach right now. This man right here knew how to get the softest of her and she was not going to blame him. In fact, she was about to make a use of this opportunity to the very bits. Immediately, Jennie ran into Daniel and caused both of them to fall backwards; her small palm covering the back of his head in case they might land inaccurately on the couch with another laughter filling the atmosphere of the apartment. She quickly slithered her arms around his neck, hugging him tight while Daniel did the same to her waist. They stayed like that for a couple of moments, saying nothing but indulging into each other’s warmth that they missed. It was as if their bodies yearned for each other, and now they finally reunited and it felt so good. Daniel’s scent filled Jennie’s nostrils, patting her in ease as she nuzzled her nose against his neck. “I miss you too. I miss you a lot.” She said in staccatos, a kiss in between each words that made the man chuckle.

Daniel thumbed Jennie’s cheek inwardly, feeling how the soft, mushy cheek began to warm under his touch. She was blushing. He then took the initiative to lift her face by pinching her chin softly, allowing their eyes to meet and it was true. She was blushing, madly. In what seemed to be a matter of seconds, his lips found her. It was quick, and heartfelt. The kiss was chaste, soft, loving, nothing so hard and harsh but love and love only. Jennie smiled in the kiss, began to respond by moving her lips along to work on the lip-lock while expressing her longing towards the man. Their lips melded so perfectly, their breathing pace synchronised and their hands remained planted on each other’s cheek.

Jennie missed every second of this. The feeling of his arm tightening around her waist that pinned her closer on top of him enhanced the sense of security, the feeling of his lips dampening hers in multiple kisses blinded her about everything else but love, the feeling of his ‘I love you’ being mouthed against her lips just caught her heart quenching so hard. They parted, just to rejoin their lips again. It went on again and again, until one time they really needed the time to catch their breaths with a broad smile.

“Did you hear what I was saying?” Daniel questioned, eyes falling back on her lips as he tried to fight back the urge to peck them. He failed miserably though, when he leaned in and captured them for several quick pecks.

“Mmhm? Nah.” Jennie said jokingly, pushing herself up slightly so she could see Daniel’s face properly. Her smile was too wide that her eyes turned crescents, cheeks getting pinkish.

Daniel groaned in an obvious playful manner, causing Jennie to hit his chest with a joyful laughter. “Miss, better listen carefully because there will be no repetition after this.” He said, booping her nose. “I said,” he paused and kissed her rosy cheek. “I” with a kiss on the forehead, “love” with a kiss on the chin, and “you” with a final kiss on Jennie’s grinning lips. He bit on her lower one lightly, grumbling teasingly before he joined the laughter. Jennie had her entire face going red, and this time she was the one leaning forward until they got to nuzzle the tips of their noses together.

“And Mister, I’m gonna give my answer. Whatever it may be, it’s nonnegotiable.” She breathed softly, just as playfully while scrunching her nose. She started off by kissing his lips, mumbling her ‘i wuff you’ muffled against those pillowy ones before she ended up showering his entire face with multiple kisses. Daniel was a squirming mess underneath, his guffaw broke the silence of the winter night as Jennie continued printing down kisses everywhere she could reach on his face until she was satisfied. She then slumped forward, falling back into the man’s embrace to be hugged again.

The night was blessing them, literally. The snowflakes fell each at one time while they kissed, sometimes more than necessary when they giggled and silence when they stared at each other. The heater was filling up the spacious apartment with warmth, but none could beat the ones this couple was getting from their lovers. They had this wide smile spread across their visages that they were unable to pull off. Jennie had been cuddling close to him on the couch with a blanket on top of their bodies, eyes on the lit TV but not focusing as she was playing with Daniel’s long fingers idly. She kissed on the knuckles occasionally, too. Him, on the other hand, was using his free hand to twirl and play with Jennie’s hair, sometimes dipping the tip of his nose to inhale the scent of her fresh, fruity shampoo before nestling his face on her neck; he was being damn obvious that he didn’t pay attention on the movie that was playing and Jennie loved that. This whole scene felt like old times, but better. The feelings were much stronger, the love was much deeper, and they were crazily in love with each other.

They stayed like that the entire night, exchanging I love you’s in one another’s arms.

Now it felt like home.

They knew they had found their way back home.

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let-it-raines · 6 years ago

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Second in Command: Ch. 7

Summary: Life as the "spare to the heir" isn't all that it's cracked up to be when you're the supposed screw-up of the family, but people don't know what really happens behind closed doors.

Rating: M

A/N: If anyone isn’t a big Halloween movie watcher, you can find the clip of a line Emma says here. I also highly recommend the movie. It’s a personal favorite.

And as always, this chapter and the rest of the story can be found on ao3

| here |

The world has known about Emma for three months now, summer slowly drifting into autumn. The longer the month of September goes on, the more the heat begins to subside and the leaves begin to prematurely fall to the ground, a myriad of colors scattering the sidewalks.

Autumn has always been his favorite season. The humidity seems to fade away, and the streets tend to smell less like hoards of sweaty, hurried people and more like the occasional clear air that will waft through England when the stars align to create a day where the air is neither filled with smoke nor rain. September is a fine month, his birthday always falling toward the tail end of it, but he tends to favor October.

It’s a month most people pass by without much thought, directly between the thrill of summer vacation and the merriness of the winter holiday season, but to some, often those with small children or adults who have a sense of imagination and adventure (and often those wanting the opportunity to imbibe in a few libations), it’s the month that marks its end with ghouls and goblins and witches oh my.

He’s never been one to celebrate Halloween as an adult. He’d been to one or two parties while at university, sure, always throwing together a last minute costume that more often than not resulted in him throwing on a tux that he already owned and going as James Bond. If he got really creative, he’d shave his beard, throw on a pair of spectacles and go as Clark Kent.

So he likes Halloween, enjoys the sweets and the horror films and the way the store fronts fill their windows with intricately carved pumpkins, yellow candles flickering inside as the sun sets into darkness.

He likes it, but Emma loves it. She loves everything about it. As soon as the calendar flips from September to October, she pulls a chest out from under her bed that’s full of DVDs (We can just watching them online, darling, he’ll say. It’s not the same, she’ll say) to watch at least one a day until the clock strikes midnight on Halloween and the pumpkins turn into Christmas trees (or turkeys for those living in America). In her closet there’s a box of every Halloween costume she’s ever worn that somehow managed to make the trip from America to London.

He once found a princess costume that was made for a girl no older than five, and when he teased her about how she’s obviously had a thing for him for her entire life, she told him that it was really Liam she had a thing for, her lips curling up into a smirk as mirth danced in her eyes. He was left speechless holding a sparkly blue dress as he watched her proudly bask in the glory of her joke. Later she told him, whispered in the darkness of her room after she had physically reaffirmed that he was the only man for her, that she could have dressed as a princess every day of her life and still never have been prepared for him and every way he’s surpassed any dream she ever had of a prince sweeping her off her feet just by being Killian.

He could have never prepared for her.

Emma carves pumpkins and buys candy ahead of time only to eat it all and have to purchase more before the holiday passes (and then buying the discount candy on November first so that she has enough to last her until the Valentine’s Day sales). She researches ghost stories online and then retells them with the enthusiasm of someone who likes being scared shitless at the possibility that the dead haunt her movements.

So his girlfriend loves Halloween, and he knew that going into their relationship, part of the basic getting to know you process that happened over late nights and glasses of rum she eventually didn’t charge him for. However, he didn’t get to experience Halloween with her until they’d been dating for over two years. The first year he’d had to miss it because he rearranged his schedule so that he’d be around for her twenty-first birthday the week before. She’d told him she loved him for the first time that night, and he would trade all of his Halloweens for the rest of his life just to keep that day the same. The next year he’d been on his two-month North American tour that had resulted in them not speaking for a few weeks, so he hadn’t even gotten to listen to her enthusiasm about the holiday (She was a bar wench he later found out. An appropriate costume that ended up looking very inappropriate on her).

When he realizes that he can finally celebrate with her on his third try, the smile that crosses his face may rival Emma’s when she’s watching Hocus Pocus.

“So you’re sure about this?” she questions as she pushes her box of movies back underneath her bed, settling on the creepy and the kooky Addams Family.

They both had the day off, and Emma had begged, not that she needed to, for the two of them to spend the day watching movies and eating candy out the bowl she’d already depleted at least once – he would know, he had to stop and buy her a mixed bag of candy on his way here. If she pulled a pumpkin primed for carving out of her closet, no part of him would be surprised.

“I am positive,” he tells her as she crawls into bed next him, moving his arm so that it wraps around her shoulder, his fingers instinctively going to find the skin just below her shirt. “I have purposely arranged my entire autumn schedule so that I will be free to spend Halloween night with you.”

“You know what this means, though, right?”

“That I’m going to have to schedule an extra dental appointment because you’re going to force feed me candy until my teeth rot?”

“I mean, obviously,” she teases, kissing the underside of his jaw from her vantage point below him. “But it means you have to wear a costume. Like, a real costume that you buy ahead of time because we have a costume party every year downstairs. And, like, not to be like the clichés of all the movies about royalty going out into disguise on Halloween, but if you could wear something that partially covers your face or alters your identity, that would be great because then I can kiss you downstairs and no one will even question it.”

“Are there really movies like that?”

“You have no idea.” She kisses his jaw again, the sensation running all the way through him. He is so crazy in love with her that sometimes he doesn’t know what to do with himself. “One day I’m going to teach you about all of the clichés that you fall under.”

He can’t help but laugh, pulling her closer to his side as the theme of The Addams Family finally begins to play on the television. They spend the rest of their day watching movies that have him ranging from laughing to sweating to being incredibly turned on. He eats more kit kat bars than he’s proud to admit, his stomach rounding where it’s usually more defined, and by the time he’s leaving to make his way home, he feels more like one of those pumpkins he thinks Emma has hidden in her closet than anything else.

Emma’s just kissed him goodbye, a little more enthusiasm than usual, when he realizes something he missed out on earlier.

“Wait,” he pulls back from her lips to look her in the eyes, “if I’m dressing up, that means you’re dressing up. What the devil are you wearing?”

“Be patient,” she begins, lifting up on her toes to give him another kiss, slow and sensual and something he very much wants to continue, before pushing him out the door, “because that is a surprise that you’re just going have to show up to see. It’s kooky.”

Damn. That’s something he can’t wait to see.

Finding a costume that won’t make him feel ridiculous ends up being more difficult than he thinks. He considers several that require him to wear a mask that completely covers his face, but those seem to be farcical more than anything else. He thinks of going as a pirate, but that just didn’t seem to call to him, the leather and eyeliner unappealing. When he comes across an entire section that’s full of prince costumes, one even entitled Prince Killian, he almost buys it just for the look on Emma’s face. Eventually after all of the sailors and clowns and police officers are eliminated, and he settles on being Tom Cruise in Top Gun. It’s a happy medium between what he’s comfortable with and what really getting into the spirit (pun intended) of Halloween means. Plus, he can mostly be himself with dark shades used to cover his eyes. It’s surprising how many people don’t recognize him simply because he has on a pair on sunglasses.

It’s Halloween, and Emma’s been suspiciously silent, only texting him short little nothings when he texts her first. It’s not totally abnormal, but for this to be one of her favorite days of the year, she doesn’t seem to be too excited. It unnerves him, and even though he was supposed to wait until the pub’s patrons are pleasantly buzzed, he ends up sauntering through the door at a quarter after ten to find Mary Margaret and David, dressed as a cat and a dog in the way that only two people in their late forties can, but with no sign of Emma anywhere.

The place is unusually busy, the younger patrons outweighing the older crowd that usually frequents the place, making the space feel smaller than usual. It doesn’t help that the Nolans have stretched fake cobweb across the pillars and between booths, causing people to duck around them if they don’t want to end up with whatever artificial material is used to make the decorations. On all of the tables are carved pumpkins he knows the three of them worked on two days ago. He spies the one he did a week ago, crooked smile from where the knife slipped in his hand. It’s on the table of the booth in the back – their booth, he likes to think, the one where they met – and he can’t help but think that Emma Nolan can be sentimental sometimes, too.

Right now, though, he’d really like to find Emma Nolan and whatever costume she’s hidden from him.

It’s then that he sees her, short black dress with a white peter pan collar, the sexiest thigh high boots he’s ever seen, and a black wig parted down the middle into two braids, her lips painted in a black lipstick the he imagines she won’t let him kiss her with. She’s Wednesday Addams. She gave him a clue by the movie they watched last time he was here, and no part of him even thought about it. He spent a hell of a lot of time thinking about it. Of course, knowing her, she very well could have come up with her costume idea while they were watching the movie.

He makes his way over to where she’s refilling a few glasses of ale, grabbing her wrist and pulling her to him so that he can kiss her cheek and squeeze her hip just because he can.

“Where’s your costume, darling?” he teases when he pulls back from her skin, knowing exactly what her answer is going to be, the Halloween-loving woman.

He can tell she has to hold back a smile before she deadpans, “this is my costume. I’m a homicidal maniac. They look just like everyone else.”

She delivers the line exactly as she should, identical to Wednesday Addams, not even throwing him a wink like she so often will when she tells a joke, the lines on her face as straight and narrow as possible.

It’s only when she seems to take his costume in, her eyes perusing the jumpsuit and the dark aviator sunglasses in a way that makes him feel like there’s no air circulation in the pub. He tries to reign in his nerves, leaning down to whisper in her ear. “Do you like it?”

Emma pulls back so that he can see her, the corner of her lips lifting up on one side. “Eh, I prefer how Maverick looks on the beach, but this’ll do.” And then she’s walking away, flipping the pigtails of her wig behind her, finally giving him the wink he expected earlier. The little minx.

It ends up being such a busy night that he doesn’t get to see much of Emma. She’s always refilling drinks or wiping down tables when people leave. He doesn’t mind, though. Just watching her, he can see that she’s having a blast with all of the people who dressed up tonight. When a group of girls all dressed as the Addams Family women walk in, Emma practically squeals, a very un-Wednesday like thing to do.

She convinces them to take a picture with her, telling them that it’s going to go up on the wall where her family keeps pictures of big events that happen here.

Seeing her this happy keeps a smile on his face throughout the night, even when he’s had one too may rums and realizes he has to take off the jumpsuit to relieve himself. It’s annoying and inconvenient, and when he comes out of the restroom cursing under his breath about bloody fucking Halloween (though no blood was involved in this Halloween), it’s to Emma leaning against the wall with her arms crossed waiting on him, right eyebrow perched high on her forehead.

“You know, Nolan, that’s a little creepy you waiting out here for me.”

“I wanted to get another picture of us to put up on the wall.”

“Won’t that be suspicious?”

“Nah, I’m just going to say it was a really hot guy who came by on Halloween, and I needed an excuse to get close to him. Who knows? Maybe later I’ll even get his number.”

She’s…happy. She’s happy and flirtatious, two things he’s seen her be so many times before, but it’s like it’s contagious tonight, a disease which he’d very much like to catch.

So they take the picture for her to hang up on the wall. He’s smiling in it, wide toothy grin as he wraps his arms around her shoulder. She’s not smiling. Instead, her body is stiff and her hands are placed at her sides, unhappy look on her face that has him in stitches when he looks at it later. It’s a picture he’d like to keep just for the look on Emma’s face.

His favorite picture of the night, though, happens later when everything is closed down, and he’s starting to get tired, the only thing keeping him awake is the way that Emma’s mouth is moving against his, lazy and sloppy but all together delicious. He thinks that they’re on their way to other activities, his jumpsuit suddenly even more restricting, but then Emma starts hysterically laughing, tears rolling down her eyes as her hair, wig removed, falls in her face.

It’s not often that a woman laughs at how he kisses, so he can’t help but feel a tad bit insulted.

“Emma, love, what the bloody hell are you laughing at?”

She just leans over to her bedside table to grab her phone, snapping a picture of him without him knowing what’s happening.

“What are you doing? Why are you taking a picture of me?”

“Just hold on a minute, and I’ll tell you.”

It’s then that she twists in his lap so that she can take a picture of the two of them together, her head leaning on his shoulder. He thinks that maybe she just felt the overwhelming need to document the night, but then she’s thrusting her phone in his face and he sees why she’s laughing.

It’s a wonderful picture of the two of them. They look happy and vibrant despite the late hour. It would be just like every other photograph except for the fact that the black lipstick she had on with her costume is now smeared all over his lips and his chin, even a bit of his nose. He looks bloody ridiculous, and when he looks over to Emma she’s covering her mouth to hide her laugh.

“That’s really not your color, babe.”

It’s a night that he remembers fondly, the picture saved on his phone and the lipstick tube tucked away in a box of things that he’s collected from Emma over the years.

It’s not yet October, though, and Killian knows that a Halloween like that will most likely be a thing of the past for the two of them. They’ll have different kinds of holiday celebrations now, and while that does make him feel a tinge of longing for the ways of the past, he’s excited for the future.

Killian turns twenty-nine this week, and he’s having a quiet – by his family’s standards – celebration with just his family – his entire family, extending beyond just the immediate – as well as Emma and her parents. It is a bit of a combination event, both a celebration of his birth and an introduction of his girlfriend to the extended family she hasn’t met and vice versa, an introduction of her small family to the largeness of his.

“Are you nervous?” Killian questions, moving to zip Emma’s dress, one hand caressing her hip as the other guides the zipper up its path.

“Honestly,” she sighs out as she moves her hair off of her back and over one shoulder, exposing her neck to him, which he gives a soft kiss to when he finishes zipping her into the dress. It’s this little black thing she got from Abigail that’s long enough to be acceptable in the new dress code she’s trying to adhere to when she goes places with him that are a step up from the supermarket, but it still shows off all of her glorious curves. She looks beautiful, radiant even, and it doesn’t matter that he’s the slightest bit biased. “I don’t think I can really be nervous around your family anymore. It’s more this feeling I can’t describe, kind of like I’m walking on eggshells but only sometimes, I guess. It’s fine tonight, though, babe. It’s your night. I think I’ve officially grown a tough skin. I’m immune to all of the new bites from the Windsor clan.”

She’s ghosting over things, he can tell. He caught some of the flashing “it’s fine” signs in her little spiel, but he goes against his better judgment and ignores it for tonight. He ignores his own signs, too.

“They’re not piranhas, love.”

“No,” she says, turning around and placing her hands on his shoulders, straightening his shirt collar, “they’re not. I’ve already faced those.”

“And you did it swimmingly.” He leans down to quickly meet her lips with his.

“Was that a pun?”

“Always. I’m just naturally witty like that.”

“I think you’re fishing for compliments.”

He laughs, leaning down again to peck her cheek so as to not mess up her lipstick anymore. “You, my love, are the only fish in the sea for me.”

“Okay, I’m done with the bad puns. We’ve got a party to go to, old man.”

“What a kind, loving birthday wish from my girlfriend.”

“That’s what I’m here for, babe.”

And at that she walks away, hips swaying enticingly in that little black dress. When she gets to the doorway, she turns her head and fucking winks at him, and he’s got to make it through the entire night with her looking like that.

He catches up to her, jogging just a little down the hallway as they walk to his car on their way to Windsor Palace. It’s where his parents have been staying recently, as it’s much more low key than the busyness of London, even if it’s a bit of a drive from Kensington.

When they get there, it’s still about an hour before most of his family is supposed to arrive, but he wanted to spend some time with just his parents and Emma’s parents before all of the others arrive. The Nolans met his family two weeks ago, and they’ve all gotten on surprisingly well despite the rocky start this whole thing had. It probably helps that he and Emma decided to keep some of the nastier details of her introduction to his family to themselves.

Mary Margaret and Allison have become fast friends and have discovered that they share many of the same interests, having even gone to a few of the same schools growing up, though Killian’s mother is several years older than Mary Margaret. David and Brennan get on fine. They don’t have a lot in common, but they don’t have to. As long as they have Killian and Emma in common, they’ll always have things to talk about.

Emma’s never been to Windsor before, so he decides to giver her a small tour before joining his family in one of the dining halls. She did tell him the first time he brought her home that she’s fascinated by being able to see buildings she studied in primary school in real life. She’s brilliant, his love, with a mind most people can only hope to have half of, and though he knows that she’s happy with her decision not to attend university in exchange for helping her parents, he finds himself wondering what it would be like for her to take history classes. Would her face light up as she delved into research for papers? Would she hate having to stick her nose in a book to learn about history instead of getting to explore it for herself?

They’ve broached the subject, her going back to school before, but she always says that she’s happy. She likes her job, and she likes spending time with her parents and her regular patrons. So he doesn’t push it. He doesn’t need her to have a degree. He has one in Philosophy that he’s never once used before. He just wants to make sure that if she has the opportunity to do something she wants to do, she can.

“Babe,” she calls out from her spot a few feet ahead of him, and he already knows what she’s looking at before he catches up to her. “How old are you here?”

She’s staring at a portrait that’s far too large, something he protested with his mum for what felt like hours on end, and he can tell she wants to reach out and touch it, run her fingers along the lines of his face.

“I was fourteen, and before you say anything else, yes, I had to pose for it. It was bloody awful.”

“Can we get one of these at our house?”

She’s teasing him, playful smile on her lips, but all he can focus on is that she just said “our house.” They’ve been living together for a few weeks now. He’s sure she’s said something similar before, but it hasn’t hit him until then.

“Hey,” she says when he doesn’t speak for a moment too long, turning to caress his cheek, her face level to his with the heels she has on, “I was just teasing. I think this is amazing. I love getting to see more of you when you were young.”

Killian moves to wrap his arms around her waist, pulling her into his side so that he can rest the side of his forehead against the top of her head. “Aye, I know. We can have anything you want, Emma.”

She tilts her head back as much as she can, his grip on her waist more snug than usual. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, my love. I was just thinking about how if we get one of these for home, we also have to hang up that photograph of you from the time you dyed your hair brown and it ended up as some kind of purple.”

She scrunches her nose, mouth twisting in disgust. “Mom never should have documented some things. But fine. No giant portrait of teenage Killian. Though, I thought it might look really good over the bed.”

He can’t help put laugh, kissing the crown of her head before releasing her from his side and grabbing her hand so that they can finish their tour and show up to the dinner.

When they walk in the door to the dining hall, they don’t even have a chance to breathe before they’re ambushed.

“Mummy,” Alex squeals, squirming away from where he was sitting with Abigail and Liam on a couch so that he can make his way over to them, pointing at Emma as he waddles over to them, “it’s Emmy.”

Emma just hurries her steps up, swooping Alex up into her arms and covering his face in kisses, leaving red marks from her lipstick all over him that he always finds hilarious when he looks into a mirror later (Killian likes to think he wears Emma’s lipstick marks better than Alexander, but who is he to compare himself to a toddler?). She’s his new best friend, and Killian’s not saying that he’s upset that a soon-to-be-two-year-old is ignoring him for his girlfriend, but he’s worked hard for that favorite relative position just to be usurped by Emma in a matter of months.

Forget all of the murders and strategic arranged marriages of the past for people trying to overtake the thrown. Emma usurping Killian as Alex’s favorite person outside of his parents is the real royal scandal.

“Emmy,” Alex giggles, squirming in her arms as she’s moved on from kissing him to tickling his stomach. “Mummy has baby in belly.”

“Really?” Emma gasps, over-exaggerated voice that she’ll use sometimes when talking to him. “Mommy has a baby in her belly! That’s so exciting, Alex! Are you excited to have a new brother or sister?”

“Yay, baby,” Alex shrieks, raising his hands in the air and clapping, something his parents have obviously taught him to do with the mention of the new baby.

“Yay baby, indeed,” Abigail says, walking over to Killian, Emma, and her son, slight but obvious stomach reaching them before she does.

“Alex, darling,” Abigail coos, reaching to take him from Emma and transfer him to Killian, “what did daddy teach you to say to Uncle Killian today?”

Alex just stares at Abigail, like he has no idea what she’s talking about, his little face all scrunched up in confusion as he thinks.

“Does Happy Birthday ring a bell, Alexander?” Liam asks, making his way over to them from his spot on the sofa, clapping Killian on the back and resting his hand there. Killian’s flinch is barely noticeable.

The two of them are not best mates or anything now, as that would be hoping for miracles in a land where those are scarce, but there’s definitely less hostility between the two brothers – at least, on the surface. Killian knows that on top of the talks (talks, yelling matches, hushed conversations with Emma and Abigail in the other room) the two of them have had over the past few weeks, their father also sat down with Liam and talked about some of the changes they’re making and how they’re attempting to be more of a family in private, rather than just being kind in public. Killian hopes that with some work, it’ll be something that actually works out. He hopes that he can have the heart to let it work out because his feelings on the situation are about as messy and as convoluted as one’s thoughts can become.

Emma still tenses when Liam’s near, however, and obviously he does as well. She doesn’t make it obvious, but he can see how she squares her shoulders the slightest bit, the way her smile fades at the corners. He can’t blame her. He does the same. But the sacrifices she’s making for him are evident in the way her smile fades from brilliant to polite.

Alex gets it now, eyes lighting up as he stares at Killian. “Happy Birfday!” he shouts, just a little too loud, but it’s cute and he truly appreciates the fact that Liam took the time to teach Alex how to wish him happy birthday.

Everyone in the room bursts into laughs, clapping for Alex and he just grins, showing off his little toddler teeth in pride.

“Happy birthday, brother,” Liam wishes, clapping Killian on the back again, and this feels like the most normal interaction they’ve had in years. “You’re getting on up there in the years.”

“Says the man who’s closer to forty than thirty now.”

“Daddy old,” Alex adds in, and Emma lets out a series of loud giggles, having to cover her mouth with her hands to contain her laughter. Killian raises his eyebrow at her, silently asking now where did the little lad learn that? She just shrugs her shoulders, mouthing it wasn’t me at him.

After all of the happy birthdays are exchanged and Killian’s aunts and uncles and cousins (and second cousins and third cousins he’s not really sure he’s related to) show up at the allotted time, they have dinner, table full of conversation and laughter. He’s not quite sure when the last time he felt this comfortable at a family event was. Maybe he’s never felt this comfortable – and comfortable may be the wrong word, but he’s not dreading every move his family makes, knowing that they’re on their best behavior. But he just looks over at Emma next to him, hands wildly moving around as she tells a story to his aunt Carolyn about what it was like to grow up in America, and he can’t help the grin that blooms on his face. It won’t always be like this, but at least he has tonight to push down all of the dark thoughts that threaten to emerge.

It’s then that his father stands from his seat at the head of the table, wine glass in hand.

“Good evening, everyone,” Brennan greets, his lips forming a small smile. “Allison and I would just like to thank everyone for making the trip up here. I know it’s a little too rural for some of you.” The room laughs at that, and Emma turns to him to mouth how in the hell anyone could consider this rural. “But nevertheless, I’d like to make a birthday toast to my youngest, Allison’s baby as she still calls him despite Killian’s protests. Killian, my boy, you’re twenty-nine now. At your age I was this unrefined, unmarried man whose mother had to remind him to get his clothes washed before he went on to an event as a representation for Britain. You, on the other hand, are this intelligent, well-composed, brave young man who understands more about life and love than I think I ever have. To see you come into your own, find a love of your own, especially in the last few months, brings me a joy that I didn’t know was possible. So may you continue to be as happy and as vibrant as you are tonight for the rest of your days! Happy birthday, Killian!”

The room echoes with happy birthday, Killian, smiles gracing the faces of people who usually look so stern when all gathered together. His parents are beaming at him, Brennan kissing Allison’s cheek as she wipes away a tear that’s fallen to her cheek.

“Happy birthday, Killian,” Mary Margaret echoes, reaching over Emma to pat his arm. “Now not to be nosy, but has Emma given you her gift yet?”

“Mom,” Emma hisses, lightly smacking Mary Margaret’s arm, her lips slightly parted in surprise.

“What? I wanted to know if he liked it!”

“I wasn’t going to give it to him until later.”

Emma looks so frustrated with her mother, like Mary Margaret actually gave away whatever this secret present is. She didn’t, and while he’s bloody curious, he can wait until later since Emma obviously wants to give it to him alone.

“Oh,” Mary Margaret squeaks, placing her hands on her lap as David tries to hide his laughter next to them. “Well you’ll have to call me and tell me in the morning.”

Emma leans her head to her left so that she can rest it on her mother’s shoulder, the two women interlacing their fingers. “I will, Mom. I promise.”

The rest of their time there goes well, everyone in that blissful state of being just buzzed enough to let their inhibitions down. He and Emma somehow get roped into having dinner with his parents next week, and Emma’s grip on his hand tightens the slightest bit. The four of them have been trying to spend more time together, them getting to know Emma for the first time and Killian for the second time around – possibly the first if he truly considers it. Despite that, or possibly because of it, Emma’s still tense around them, for more reasons than one. But she handles it as best as she can, and he couldn’t be more proud. She handles it with more grace than he ever has.

Later that night he’s lying in bed, reading his book like the old man he now is, and Emma saunters out of the bathroom, clad in nothing but the lacy black bra and underwear she had on under her dress. He doesn’t pay her much attention, trying to finish the chapter he’s on, but then she’s crawling over the covers and onto his lap, knees on either side of his thighs.

“Babe?” she prods, nestling further into his lap, and honestly it’s killing him not to buck his hips up into hers, the early friction already enough to send a buzz down his spine. But this is the path he’s chosen to go on tonight for some insane reason. The old age must be making him delusional.

“Mhmm,” he answers back, flipping his page.

She starts kissing the side of his neck, working at the skin between his neck and his collarbone, worrying a faint bruise there that won’t show in the suit he has to wear at his events tomorrow. Crafty lass she is.

He’s got no idea what’s going on in his book anymore. It’s like he’s never read before in his life, pleasure coursing through his veins distracting him. She’s working her way back up his throat, slowly running her tongue across his jaw before she starts nibbling on his ear. He’s just about to give in, to pull her lips to his and her body so close they’re basically one, when she pulls back, propping her hands up on his shoulders and adjusting herself so that her hips are no longer aligned with his.

He could groan at the lack of contact. He does groan at the lack of contact.

“What are you doing, love?”

“Well I was trying to seduce you for your birthday.”

“Is this my present?” he questions, fingering the cup of her bra, lifting it so that the top of her nipple is exposed as his other hand runs down her side, cupping her waist. “As much as I appreciate this, and I do plan on appreciating it later, I can’t help but think that this is quite the odd present to have told your mum about. And for her to be excited about it on top of that. I didn’t know you shared about our sex life with your mother.”

Her face twists, lips pursing into a scowl. “The only person who gets details on our sex life is you, despite Ruby’s protests now that she knows about you. And this is definitely part of your present, but I do have something else if you want it.”

“Of course I do, darling.”

“Okay,” Emma tells him, extracting herself from his lap and making her way to the closet. The cut of her panties makes her ass look particularly firm, and he’s really beginning to regret not immediately devouring her when she came out of the bathroom.

She’s wrapped herself in her dressing gown by the time she comes out of the closet (he has to hold back a groan at that because damn) holding two wrapped presents that have bows that he’s come to know as Mary Margaret’s specialty.

“So Mom doesn’t know about the first gift,” she motions between the two of them before settling beside him on the bed, her feet tucked under her as she faces him, “but she did help me pick out this other stuff. I know we go over this every time we have a holiday or anniversary or whatever, so you know the drill. It’s not super expensive or nice or –”

“Hey,” Killian reaches forward to press his thumb against her chin, running it back and forth as he smiles down at her, “and you know that I don’t care about any of that stuff. We do the same routine every year. I think we should probably stop doing it.”

She leans down to kiss his thumb, nuzzling the finger further into the dent of her chin as her eyes flutter shut.

He loves her so much it’s ridiculous.

Emma hands him the larger package. It’s light to the touch, and he puts it next to his ear, shaking it slightly to see if it makes a sound. His father used to do that to presents when Killian was younger, and it’s one of his traits that he got from his father without ever realizing it. Emma hates it, and once she realized he did it, she’s always made sure to never wrap anything fragile.

“You can open that one first because it’s the more casual one.”

When he opens the box it’s to several new dress shirts, all different shades of blue and white, some with stripes or small dots. He just smiles at her, folding each shirt back into the box before she shoves the smaller box into his hands. Inside are several different sets of cufflinks, ranging from normal black and gold circles to ones in the shape of pizza and martini glasses.

“These are fantastic,” he laughs, admiring a pair that are in the shape of umbrellas. She looks nervous, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth, and he can’t help but wonder why she’s so nervous over cufflinks. “Though I do have to ask what went into the decision making for buying these because I feel like you had a purpose behind them.”

She bounces a little from her position on the bed, the mattress squeaking with the movement. “So,” she begins, taking the pair of umbrella cufflinks out of his hand and running them between her fingers, “I pulled a you and decided to be kind of sentimental.” He leans toward her with the intention of pinching her side, but she moves away from him at the last minute. “The umbrellas are because it was raining on the night we met. The beer mugs and the martini glasses are because we’ve spent most of our relationship in a pub, obviously. The pizza is because that’s what we had to eat on our first date. Um, it was kind of hard to find other things because I don’t think cufflinks are really made to showcase relationship progress, so I just got the other ones, like the anchor and the initial ones, just because I thought you’d like them.”

“I love them, Emma. I love you.” He leans forward to quickly press his lips against hers. “Thank you. I’m going to wear the umbrella ones tomorrow.”

“I love you, too. And you are, really?”

“Most definitely. Though, if I’d had an umbrella that night we might not have met.”

Her face changes then, the nervous smile fading into a frown. “I can’t even imagine, Killian. I mean, can you? What would our lives be like? It’s just insane to think about. It honestly freaks me out a bit.”

“I know, love, but we don’t have to think about it. It happened, and now we’re here.”

Emma moves to take the boxes out of his hand, placing them on her bedside table (she has a bedside table) before curling up into his side, her head on his shoulder and her hands wrapped around his middle.

She’s quiet for a moment, nuzzling her nose into his bicep.

“How did you deal with today? With all the family? I thought everyone was good today, but I always just feel so edgy around your dad and Liam. I could tell that you do, too, even if today was a better day.”

A sigh passes through his lips before he reaches to pinch his nose, his other hand rubbing soothing circles on Emma’s back. He doesn’t want to talk about this right now.

“I’m confused, to be honest,” Killian admits. “It’s like I don’t know how to feel. Father is fine, I guess. He’s really turned things around in the effort he makes to be kind to me and to you, which is what I find to be the most important. He works with me on things, listening to my side instead of just going with his. I appreciate it, truly. But I just don’t know how to feel about Liam. He’s…he’s trying. But sometimes it’s like he doesn’t understand the gravity of everything we’ve been through. It doesn’t matter how many talks we have, how much I say. I think he knows he’s wrong and understands that, but I think he has a difficult time owning up to it, if that makes sense? It’s like he wants to say sorry and just move on without acknowledging things. And sometimes I just become frustrated to such a degree that I need a physical way to express that. I think it’s why I’m running even more now.”

Emma turns to nuzzle her head into his chest, kissing the skin there, soft little butterfly kisses that he can barely feel. “Killian, I’m so sorry. I wish I could help in some way. Make things better besides us just talking.”

“You already do, love.”

“That’s sweet, babe, but a lot of this is because of me. At least the recent stuff. You can’t ignore that.”

“Hey,” he reaches to squeeze her side before continuing to rub her back, something that’s probably more for him than for her, “you’ve done not a thing wrong, my love. It’s not because of you. He reacted to you because of the way he is. It’s from a lifetime of living on a high horse and never being knocked down until recently.”

“What would make the whole thing better for you? Do you think it’s better to just drop this whole trying to be better toward each other thing and live as you were before? Do you think it’s worth it? I mean, really think it’s worth it to try to be on friendly terms instead of just faking it when you have to? Is that something you actually want, or is it something you’re doing just because you feel like it’s what you should do?”

He doesn’t want to talk about this. He’s so tired of talking about this.

“I don’t know. I do think it’s better, that what we’re doing is better, and sometimes he and I will be having a conversation and it’s like all of the shit fades away and we’re just normal, you know? But then my brain reminds me that we’re not. It’s almost like, before I didn’t care how bad our relationship was. I had just resigned myself to it being messed up. But now, now it’s like I’m so desperately searching for something that’s just out of my grasp, and it hurts that every time I reach for it, it moves just a little bit further away.”

She hugs him a bit tighter, a sure sign that she doesn’t have any words to comfort him, left with just the physical touch that he relies on almost as much.

“Do you still think it’s possible to forgive him? Do you even want to? Not for him but for yourself?”

“Is it possible to not forgive and still try to move on with him as someone who has to be a part of my life?”

“Killian, I’m not sure. That has to be something you decide for yourself.”

He means his next words, but he doesn’t intend for them to come out as gruffly as they did, harsh and disparaging, and he knows this isn’t how tonight should have gone at all.

“I’m damn tired of thinking and talking about this. It’s like it’s been my entire life lately. As much as I appreciate you trying to help, I’d really rather not talk anymore tonight, Emma. I’d just like to go to bed.”

She’s silent at his side.

At least she’s still at his side.

#second in command #captain swan #captain swan fic #cs fanfic #cs ff

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