#every person with trust issues is jumping on their walls rn

[tangerineontoast]

these panels.

[chateautae]

I for duck's sake need help people.....see, I would be very pleased if anyone of you would just help me out....the thing is, I have been in a relationship for like around 3 years and trust me, he is like the most perfect kinda person I have ever met..but now comes the main issue, he has till now, never ever hinted me about doing anything ( the max. we have went is uk till just a little makeout types, ik spoiling my sex life like this sucks but that's why I am going anonymous and I think some of you might have experienced it ig, don't take me wrong, I mean like uk). The good thing is, we both are understanding and extremely working persons (he works as a employee in a business firm and I am a newbie doctor (kinda just started my practice as a doctor)....and even though I am a doctor and that having sex is like a normal thing because we literally studies everything, I still freak out upon thinking about doing it with him....it's not like I am scared or anything but I just want some uk girl tips upon how to actually do it....reading about it is quite, tbh, okay for me, but then doing it is like, a difficult task....i bet you he knows about everything and that's why he hasn't hinted upon anything but like from the past 1 week, he jas been dropping kinda hints ig.....like I won't go into the details, otherwise I would be hella embarrassed, not that I am not right now, I am literally sitting in the washroom typing this ( don't judge me)....while reading about it, it feels so easy to execute everything but then when doing it in real life is like so much like wierd ig....I mean how do I respond to it.....I am nervous and what not.....as 25yo, I sometimes feel wierd that I can't uk do it......can anyone of you just help me please......like some girl tips.....I searched it on Google too, still I don't have the courage.....amd moreover, my friends circle is so wierd amd plus, I am too shy to ask anyone.....ik asking this in such a way and place is way too inappropriate to be even considered normal....it's not like I am not ready for it, it's just I am quite nervous about how to do it.....tbh, he hasn't forced me even once still remained to be sweet and all but internally we noth know, we might wanna step up.....HELP PLZ.....my mom is way too conservative to even have an open conversation about kisses let alone doing it....

Oh hun, you are completely and tOTALLY allowed to come to this blog for any advice and not feel ashamed. This is an 18+ blog and anyone here would be so glad to help you, something like this is totally normal!! I shall leave my words under the cut, though if anyone else would like to help this lovely anon please do not hesitate to drop off a reply or even something in my inbox! I'll answer right away to help anyone wondering the same thing 💓

Alright hun, first and foremost I am so happy your relationship has been so strong! And I'm glad you're with someone who hasn't pushed you or anything into doing anything sexual yet, I'll tell you from experience that can be extremely daunting and uncomfy so I'm super relieved your man has been sweet!!

In terms of real advice, tbh I'm quite the wrong person to go to. I lost my v-card with my first boyfriend when I was 16, literally we were both inexperienced and even the times we did you know, do the deed it was very clumsy and nobody knew what they were doing, and the second person I've been with was a Kiseok situation (if you read maybe I do, yes Kiseok is based on a real person in my life) so fuck that dude. But maybe my own inexperience can also help you out, here are at least some lady tips I can think of:

1. Make sure you're comfortable. I say comfortable instead of ready because I'm quite the believer in if you wait until the moment you're ready, you'll wait your entire life. So my best advice is to make sure you're comfy with the situation and your partner!!

2. Ensure your partner is someone who cares about you. I know everyone's stories are different, and not everyone has sex with someone they've been with for a long time or even love, one night stands are totally okay and I salute you sister. get that dick!!! But even in situations where you're with a stranger, sex is a very intimate thing, and it would make your experience 1000x better if you can at least tell the person cares about you and your body and your wishes during sex. Everyone deserves to be respected during an intimate act like sex and if you feel you're not being respected, whether it's your body, your wishes, your limits, your choices, do not feel obligated to still go through with this person.

3. You have to be wet. Of course not all sexual encounters happen the same way, and every female gets off on different things or turned on by a variety of actions, but essentially you have to be wet for sex. Most men understand this but a lot also don't, basically you gotta get into that juicy foreplay to get wet my girl. Try making out, maybe if you're sitting down swing a leg over his lap and bam you're straddling him. This position is usually optimal because you gain the opportunity to grind against yo man's crotch and my fucking God, does that shit feel hella nice. It's also highkey ego-boosting feeling how much the guy's getting worked up because literally anytime you grind or move over their crotch it immediately spikes to their dick and you can usually feel them against you. If you're standing, try moving to an area that has a wall and keep grabbing at your man's neck, usually men naturally will indicate you to jump and you'll easily be all up against the wall making out, this gets hella fun too cause being carried like that is so 😩

3.2. Okay cool, we're making out, now it's essentially a game of go with the flow. Men usually take the initiative and begin the escalation of things on their own. Maybe he'll start kissing down your neck, his hands are gonna be somewhere at your waist, maybe inching down to your ass or maybe he's an ass guy and he's already palming at yo cheeks. Regardless, I can confidently say you can sit back and relax, let yourself feel, get into the kissing and grinding and if you love the way he's touching you, make some noise and let him know, don't be afraid to be turned on and goddamn horny, dudes love that shit. You however are also allowed to take the wheel, and guys usually search for the greenlight from girls by sensing their movements and how eager they seem for the go-ahead on anything. If maybe you begin tugging at his clothes, they'll usually think "okay, she's okay with this rn" and so on. This part's sincerely just go with the flow, you don't need to rush and honestly the more foreplay the better for getting your puthy wet. Make sure you're comfy and your partner makes sure you're okay with that they're doing to you.

3.3. Whoop dee doo your man's hands are suddenly going, you know, places. Another case of go with the flow, if you're comfortable with your man wanting to do a lil rubby dubby on your kitty then totally let him, this shit feel's god-like I tell you. Maybe I'm just a sensitive ass whore, who knows but something about feeling a man's hands do what your lady fingers can't just HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. But essentially from here maybe you wanna reciprocate. Get them pesky pants open and feel your man up. Reach inside those boxers and touch that beast he's hiding inside. Make sure to go nice and slow and your hands aren't rough, men's dick are super sensitive and if you go too hard on at least a dry dick it acc hurts them. Men usually leak pre-cum at their tips so try using some of that to slick up your hand.

3.4. That's handjobbing, now if we're getting into oral, very important things to remember. A) retract your teeth, it's hard and it hurts to do it for a long time but teeth will hurt dudes a lot so suck them in and away from their cocks. B) Hollow your cheeks, men like the tightness of a mouth and that's what really gets them going. C) BREATHE THROUGH YOUR NOSE PLEASE DO NOT JUST STOP BREATHING AND TAKE YOUR TIME OKAY BLOWJOBS ARE ACC VERY FUCKING HARD AND FUCK YOU UP especially for someone like me who has a small mouth, yeah that shit sUCKS but nothing is more beautiful than seeing a man fold under your touch. D) Tease yo man a bit, kitten licks and kisses, dragging your tongue over his slit, maybe a pump and then take him out, slick him up with some saliva maybe, anything you feel like doing go ahead girl, that dick is yours for the time being and I promise he'll love it. E) Deep-throating is really when gets guys going cause they only acc feel shit at their tips, so please deep-throat with caution, and take your time if he's a big one, you can acc really hurt yourself especially if you're constantly deep-throating a really big one. F) Go to town girl, get up and bobbing, go down on him like he can't survive without you, go at your own pace and own it. G) Balls usually go neglected and I promise if you even fondle them or grab at them your man will combust.

3.5. Okay so with actual sex, FIRST OF ALL BE SAFE!!!! USE A FUCKING CONDOM, IF YOU DON'T HAVE ONE THEN DON'T FUCK BUT IF YOU'RE STILL HORNY THEN PLEASE RECIEVE SOME MONEY FROM YO MAN FOR PLAN B!!! IT'S NOT ENTIRELY FOOLPROOF THOUGH PLEASE REMEMBER THAT RISK. You can totally go on birth control too but this has its complications, there are also monthly shots you can take and other contraceptives.

3.6. Okay it's sexy times, this is just gonna have to be a thing for you. Everyone's different and has different comfort levels, maybe you can take someone that’s bigger while some women can't and that's fine. Just make sure when he does go in, you feel okay with it. It will hurt if you’re dry and not wet, like hurt a lOT but if you do feel loads of pain just let your partner know to go slower, and let yourself get used to the feeling of something inside. You can always say stop if it hurts too much, seriously it's normal and that's what I did with my first boyfriend. Hell I fucking kicked my ex off me LMAO and he was so sorry and we just ended everything there, and had actual sex the next time I visited him. From here on I've really got no lady tips, essentially it's up to you what you like and what you'll do, get it on!!!

General Tips:

4. Be you, and be confident. I know sex can be really daunting especially when you consider men usually tend to be more experienced, and maybe you become afraid you won't measure up or be as good as his previous partners or you’re not good at sex, but baby girl it ain't about that. This dude is going to have sex with you because he wants to have sex with you, and whether that's his dick speaking for him or his heart, it means he will not be thinking about some other  chick he got it on with a year ago, he will be thinking of you and your pretty mouth and what you're doing, focused on touching your body and thinking he loves the way it feels. The more confident you are, the better. You're sexy and pretty and you are desirable babes, let those noises he makes when you touch him drive your confidence, the way he groans a little when you do something, the way he's tugging your body close to yours cause he wants to feel you, it all means he wants you and that's hot, let it boost your lady ego my love. You're allowed to be shy, I totally understand that, and if your partner really cares about you then they'll easily take your hand and guide you through it. Let them know you're a little nervous, and they'll really try to make things more comfy and easier for you because sex is about both parties, not just one.

5. Orgasming is hard, but it's still achievable. Especially in an open, established relationship, really let your man know what turns you on. Let him feel at your cooch while he's penetrating you and I promise that can usually get you orgasming. Other than that, another huge case of doing what you need to do to get yourself off, and always let your partner know. If you’re really searching for an orgasm in a newer relationship or if you’re too shy to say something, then literally just take your man’s hand and place him over your clit and start rubbing with him, he’ll get the hint and start doing it himself. 

6. Communication is key. This is obvious, but even if it's dirty talk, usually it's still a way to communicate and see if you're okay. You can ask to go slower, faster, softer, harder, stop altogether or entirely wreck your goddamn shit. Your partner should listen and if they don't, get the fuck out of there and leave that man, he don't fucking deserve you at all, especially in situations where you ask to stop or to slow down cause maybe something hurts, if he doesn't listen here then no, he don't deserve shit and LEAVE. Don't be afraid to make noise either or say something, dudes usually love hearing you. If you don’t like something please let your partner know, I’m sure they’re wondering if you do and would love to hear you communicating. 

7. Be clean after you're done woo-hoo-ing. Make sure you're tidy and stuff before putting clothes back on, sex can get messy especially if it's your first time you can bleed. Usually if the dude is a sweetheart enough they'll clean you, which is obviously aftercare uwu.

8. Pee after sex, UTI's are not fun. 

9. Your body may also feel weird or go through changes after you have sex for the first time, but that’s normal. Just you body’s response to feeling something foreign inside you. 

10. Ladies, remembering during sex that you have power, IT’S YOUR BODY!!!! Whether it’s because you’re totally domming or because your man is super duper sweet and will not do anything unless you want it, sex is meant to be fun and for both parties’ enjoyment. It’s not a chore nor is it something you HAVE to do to keep your man around or something, let yourself have fun girl, you deserve it. The flow of sex and any activities as such are usually dictated by you and what you want, so remember you don’t have to go through with something if you don’t want to. It shouldn’t matter if a dude really badly wants to get his dick wet, this is your body and you are to decide what happens to it. If a man makes you believe otherwise, FUCK THAT DUDE!!!! HE DON’T DESERVE YOU!!! YOU DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT AND TO BE CARED FOR AS A HUMAN BEING!!

[deeeelightfuldee]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Z. non romantically, dutch

2. Are you outgoing or shy? a mixture of both. i can be plenty outgoing when need be, but I also am a bit of a wall flower.

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? hmmm. I dont really have anyone im going to be seeing any time soon i guess.

4. Are you easy to get along with? in my mind, yes. 

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? lol. ummmmmm... that is a very good question

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? oooof. my deepest immediate turn-on traits: intelligent, slow to anger, protective, NON SEXUAL ADVANCES, respectful. man alive, if a man had all that I would be jumping his bones lol

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? man. i don’t know. im not over this breakup yet. i want to work towards having a family. 

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? rn K. he keeps going “am i on your mind” 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? hmm. sam

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? "its not all it’s cracked up to be”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? heartbreak anniversary she (for Liz) we don’t sleep somebody that I used to know happier

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? i do so long as they dont comment about my hair loss or my tumors

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? miracles yes

15. What good thing happened this summer? its not summer yet. the last summer the best thing would be my solo vacation

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? its not looking like it.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? no clue. could be possible!

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no. not in a couple years anyway.

19. Do you like bubble baths? i do but i havent had one in years

20. Do you like your neighbors? to my left yes. to the right no. 

21. What are you bad habits? oh lets see. - poor sleep - inconsistent eating schedule - not enough water - not consistent with my devotions

22. Where would you like to travel? switzerland, greece, netherlands, ireland, iceland

23. Do you have trust issues? yes. I have always had like poor trust since i was a kid. but man the last 1-2 years... im basically completely distrustful of every single person. I literally don’t expect anyone to be who they say they are.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? when its time to be in my room lol

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my tummy.

26. What do you do when you wake up? drink water. check the time. make my bed. go to the bathroom. brush my teeth.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? its fine. though i really want a tan package but i cant afford it.

28. Who are you most comfortable around? mom, K, liza.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yes.

30. Do you ever want to get married? i really do. idk if itll happen.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? it is. i think im gonna chop it if i keep being a gym baddie

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? john krasinski and idris elba. oooooooooooo papi

33. Spell your name with your chin. no.

34. Do you play sports? What sports? nope.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? yep! 

37. What do you say during awkward silences? ill find something. unless im annoyed, then i dont mind if its awkward af

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? i already did

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? old navy, tjmaxx, target

40. What do you want to do after high school? thats long ago

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? mostly 

42. If you’re being extremely quiet what does it mean? probably that either I don’t feel well, or im not happy. 43. Do you smile at strangers? yep. im a very smiley individual.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? my own body being like get the eff up

46. What are you paranoid about? GOSH everything.

47. Have you ever been high? no.

48. Have you ever been drunk? Yes.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? yup!

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? gray. 

51. Ever wished you were someone else? yes. I know its never what it seems.. but yes.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? i wish i had a bangin’ bod.

53. Favourite makeup brand? i have about a million different products. i wish I had more tarte makeup.

54. Favourite store? right now probably old navy

55. Favourite blog? uhhhh

56. Favourite colour? blue

57. Favourite food? freakin’ mongolian beef.

58. Last thing you ate? a piece of chocolate

59. First thing you ate this morning? yogurt

60. Ever won a competition? For what? yep. Bible quizzing

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no. i was homeschooled. it would be dang near impossible.

62. Been arrested? For what? Nah.

63. Ever been in love? yes. twice. both ended in heartbreak that almost killed me lol.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? it was my 16th birthday. the song “my best friend” was playing in his car. I didn’t see it coming. it was awesome.

65. Are you hungry right now? im fine 

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? lol i dont communicate with anyone on here

67. Facebook or Twitter? neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? I have an insta live playing but then ill switch to BB

70. Names of your bestfriends? no.

71. Craving something? What? mongolian beef, breakfast, oberweis lol

72. What colour are your towels? uhhh my body towel is bright pink and my hair towel is white 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? like 6.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? maybe like 3?

75. Favourite animal? cows.

76. What colour is your underwear? nude

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? freakin’ chocolate peanut butter from oberweis or fudgey moose tracks 

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? gray

80. What colour pants? no pants.

[zarcake-writes]

Hey, life is being hella rough rn and I was wondering if I could request widowmaker/sombra/tracer (separate) falling for a heartbroken/ trust-issue (preferably fem) reader? Can be SFW or NSFW Thanks mate :'3

Here you go anon. Hope you enjoy this and I hope you’re feeling better. There’s no smut, so I hope that’s alright. Enjoy!

Warnings: mention of heart break and angst

Widowmaker

Widowmaker had thought about thisfor a long time now.  She even googledthe feelings she was experiencing when you were around. It’s not like she couldgo to anyone, no that would put her at risk of being sent to back to Moira andbeing brain washed again. She could have gone to Sombra, but she would justopen her big mouth.

Widowmaker realized she was in lovewith you. The way you smiled, the way you laughed, the way you fought. It allleft her feeling… awestruck and weak. She hated it at first, and did everythingshe could to avoid you. But a pit formed in her chest and she couldn’t stayaway from you. She had to tell you how she felt about you.

Widowmaker left her room andquickly went towards yours. The base was quiet and empty, the only one she sawwas Reaper. He only nodded at her and continued floating on his way. The sniperknew he was having his own problems, problems he couldn’t and wouldn’t speakabout. Widowmaker quickened her pace to your room.

Outside your room, she knocked.When you answered, she knew something was wrong. She could see your eyes werered and you looked like you were in so much pain. Widowmaker didn’t know whatto do. She froze. She wasn’t expecting this. The sight of your beautiful faceall puffy and red from crying made her heart break. She didn’t even know shecould feel this.

“What’s up Widow?” you asked. Yourvoice was thick and you sounded so scared.

“I- What happened?” she askedsoftly.

“Nothing. What do you need?” yousaid quickly.

“Something has happened. Who hurtyou?” she growled. Your eyebrows raised at the anger in her voice.

“It… it happened a few months agoWidow. Don’t worry about you,” you sighed. The sniper relaxed a bit and nodded.

“Would you like some company?” sheasked. You nodded and motioned for her to come inside. You sat on your bed andshe sat away from you. Your room was small and neat, she saw a pile of clothesnear a wall and your combat boots.

“Why do you cry?” she asked.

“I got my heart broken a few monthsago. And it’s been hard to move on,” you sighed.

“You have never cried around usbefore. Why do you do it alone?”

“You think crying in front ofeveryone would be a good idea? I might be sent to Moira, and I don’t wantthat,” you scoffed. Widowmaker just nodded.

“Don’t cry alone again. If you needcompany, come see me.”

“Widow, why do you care? You can’tfeel,” you said.

“Amélie. Call me Amélie when it isonly you and I. And you’re correct. I cannot usually feel, but you… you bringout feelings in me. Things I never thought I would feel. Things I didn’t knowwere possible to feel. And seeing you cry and so heartbroken, it upsets me,”Amélie said. She looked at you, her yellow eyes were serious and she washolding her hands tightly together.

“Amélie, I don’t know what to say.How long have you felt this around me?” you asked. You always thought she wasbeautiful and scary, yet you had no idea she felt this around you. She wasalways so cold and empty appearing, yet she seemed to feel something for you.

“Do not worry about it darling.Right now, I want to help heal your pain. I will help you for as long as ittakes,” Amélie said. She took your warm hand into her cold one and squeezed itslightly. You nodded and scooted closer to her. You rested your head againsther shoulder.

Amélie’s heart was pounding at havingyou so close. She came here wanting to confess her feelings to you, she wantedto feel your body and hear your moans and hold you close. But those thoughtscan wait. Right now, giving you time and helping you heal was what wasimportant to the sniper. And she would wait for you, as long as it took.

Sombra

Sombra was an obvious person whenit came to her feelings towards people. Especially if she thought they wereattractive. And she thought you were very attractive. She would wink at you andalways had reasons to touch you and be close to you. You always blushed andlooked away or quickly left the room. She thought you were just nervous or shy,which made her do it more.

It was after one day when shegrasped your hand and leaned in real close to you, that someone set herstraight. You quickly left the room, you damn near ran out. She watched you gowith a smirk on her face. Reaper smacked her in the head.

“Ow, the hell Viejo?” she asked. She glared up at the masked man.

“You’re an asshole, you know that?Leave the girl alone. You’re scaring her,” Reaper replied.

“What do you mean? She’s shy. It’scute when her eyes get all big and she gets red.”

“No, she’s not. She thinks you’replaying a joke on her.”

“What?” Sombra asked. She wasn’tplaying a joke on you, she adored you. Every piece of you she adored.

“Yeah, she thinks you’re fuckingwith her. So, stop making her upset,” Reaper snarled. He floated out of theroom determined to help you calm down. Sombra was left alone feeling like anass, yet not fully believing Reaper.

Sombra made her way to your room abit later. She knocked and Reaper answered. He crossed his arms at the sight ofthe hacker. Everyone knew Reaper had a soft spot for you, it wasn’t sexual orinappropriate but it was more of a father-daughter relationship. Sombra wassurprised he was still here with you.

“What?” he growled.

“Can I speak to her? I want toapologize,” Sombra said. Reaper closed the door on her face, but opened it amoment later.

“You have ten minutes. And if sheyells for me, I’ll rip those implants out of your head as I throw you out ofthis room,” Reaper snarled. Sombra had never seen the masked man so angry, sheonly glared at him as he stepped out of your room. She stepped inside andclosed the door.

You were on your bed, a blanketwrapped around your shoulders and a stuffed animal in your arms. Sombra saw therewas a cup of tea on your desk and some cookies. No doubt Reaper brought thesefor you and was trying to get you to cheer up. You were looking at Sombra witha nervous look.

“I… Do you think I’m pulling a jokeon you when I flirt with you?” Sombra asked. You only nodded your head.

“I’m not. I swear. I think you’rebeautiful and smart and so kind. I love when you smile and laugh and I thinkyou’re adorable when you blush. I-I didn’t mean to scare or upset you. Ithought you were shy and I- Fuck I’m sorry,” Sombra said. You were blushingagain but you had a surprised look on your face.

“You really think that way aboutme?” you asked softly.

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry Sombra. I’ve been hurtbefore. I’ve had someone once played a joke about liking me, they took itreally far and I got my heart broken. Ever since then, I’ve always been onguard,” you sighed. You sat the stuffed animal down and looked at your lap.

“Olivia. My real name is Olivia.Please, call me that when you and I are alone,” Olivia said. She sat downbeside you and took your hand in hers.

“Olivia. I like it,” you said. Thehacker smiled and you could see the blush on her face.

“I am sorry for how I made youfeel. I shouldn’t have been so pushy with you.”

“I know. I should have told you tostop. Or believe Reaper. He told me you had a crush on me, but I didn’t believehim,” you laughed. You looked up at Olivia’s face and gave her a soft smile.She smiled back and squeezed your hand.

You took a deep breath and leanedforward, your lips were soft and hesitant against hers. Olivia was surprisedfor a moment, but she quickly kissed you back. Her hands went up your body, youmoaned softly at the feeling of her hands.

“Hey!” came a loud voice. You andOlivia jumped and saw Reaper standing there. His arms were crossed, he seemed annoyedbut he had a smirk behind his mask. You giggled and Olivia smiled at the sound.

“I suppose now Sombra will beeating dinner with us?” Reaper asked. You nodded and gave him a soft smile.Reaper motioned for you both to follow him. Sombra took your hand and you bothfollowed the masked man.

Tracer

Lena was a huge ball of energy. Shewas always blinking around and talking to everyone, she was always happy andexcited to meet people. No matter how much of a foul mood someone was in, Lenawas always able to make you smile or help someone feel better. Yet when it cameto you, she tried extra hard to get you to smile.

You had gotten your heart broken aweek ago, and since then, you’ve barely smiled. You woke up, trained, ate, thenwent to your room. You did what was required of you, yet your smiles didn’treach your eyes. When you were alone, you spent much of your time crying.

Lena appeared in front of yourroom, a plate of cookies in her hands. She tried extra hard to make you smileagain because not only were you her friend, she was in love with you. Sherespected you had been in a relationship, and when you told her they broke yourheart, she had cried with you. She loved you, yet right now wasn’t the time tothink about her feelings. She had to focus on helping you heal.

She opened your door and found youthrowing things away into a trashcan. Lena watched you for a moment, you werecursing to yourself and throwing away everything form your ex. You were rippingup the pictures and throwing them in the trash, tears ran down your face.

“You ok, love?” Lena asked softly.You jumped and turned to her. She closed your door and approached you.

“N-No. I feel so stupid. I can’tbelieve I believed them. I thought they loved me,” you sobbed. Lena sat downthe cookies and immediately rushed to your side.

“Hey, hey. It’s alright. Youdeserve better than them, alright?” Lena said. She pulled you against her bodyand you sobbed against her shoulder. Her hand ran up and down your back, shesaw the destroyed pictures and the gifts they had given you in the trashcan.She sighed and continued calming you down.

After a while, you finally stoppedsobbing. You just sat there against Lena, her hands were moving in circlesagainst your back.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. I’m here foryou. I care about you, so I’m going to help you anyway I can. Now, lets finishthrowing away the things they gave you, and let’s eat some cookies. Ana madethem and I had to blink away from McCree,” Lena said. You smiled and noddedyour head.

Lena loved you, and she knew youloved her. There was always that spark between you both. Yet right now wasn’tthe time. She would help you heal, help you throw away the things from your ex,eat cookies with you and watch shitty movies. She loved you enough to push herdesire for you aside, and focus on being there for you.

[simkjrs]

msa ch3 asks

Anonymous said: I love how msa Izuku comes across as an honest to god cryptid: can't see his face, absolutely the kind of person you'd find at a gas station at 3 am, doesn't want attention, most likely distant cousins with Mothman

msa au is just me fulfilling all of my ‘protagonist is a cryptid’ dreams by making msa izuku as cryptid as possible. favorite character archetype: cryptid 

Anonymous said: so the msa au is my life right now thank u for that & I just read through the update twice so thank you for that x2 and I had to go back and look for Izuku and Kirishima's deal when it came up again and realized oh hey Kirishima agreed not to try and stop Izuku from leaving after 3 minutes and they didn't put a time limit on that i wonder if that'll come up again (& then my brain jumped to Izuku using that Forever. "we had a deal" every time it comes up. he cannot be stopped bc kiri promised)

got it in one!! izuku will abuse the wording of that deal forever if he can. good eye! 

Anonymous said: relatability of msa izuku: trying, doesnt trust feds, inability to sleep, ready to jump out 4th story window at a moments notice, anti-attention-

that’s msa izuku living the cryptid life of his dreams

Anonymous said: So wait you don't have to answer this if it's a spoiler but the collarbone blood tattoo™ is what's making deku's existence confusing to electronics, maybe?

yep, you got it! normally izuku is able to keep his presence from overtly affecting the electronics around him but scripting really starts messing with them. 

Anonymous said: quirkless msa deku anon and can i just say that deku looking eraserhead straight in the eye with lie detector policeman there and him saying "i don't have a quirk" and said policeman not detecting a lie is arguably the best thing i have thought of today.

tsukauchi:  tsukauchi: wh  tsukuachi: how did you even do all of [gestures at ch2 events] that without a quirk?  izuku: it’s a special talent of mine.

Anonymous said: I just read chapter 3 and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Your Izuku is who i aspire to be 24:7. Like everything he says makes me want to cry and laugh at the same time. You did good. <3

haha we are all aspiring to izuku’s levels of impromptu sass. im glad you liked the new chapter! 

Anonymous said: I'm probs rlly late cuz I Love in GMT+1 which means 9 HOURS of difference but I love your writing. Man, dude, being from beyond time and space, you always manage to create the perfect harmony between comedy and suspense that has you giggling while trying to figure out the mysteries of the universe. Just. OH BOI.

this ask is so funny and sweet at the same time. i love you 

@arinrowan said: it's kind of ironic that msa!izuku is exactly the kind of person who would benefit from friendship with/interacting with canon izuku.

msa izuku would benefit from friendship in general but you’re right. he needs the kind of quiet but aggressive support that canon izuku gives 

Anonymous said: Cuz I'm trying to see if I can figure this out, by "told me about Kamino Ward", does that mean that Izuku tipped kirishima that that was where bakugou was? How did he know tho, did baku's spirit go to him and tell him that? Did izuku actually play a part in the rescue???? So many questions

THE ANSWER TO ALL OF THESE... [spoiler alert] is actually ‘yes.’ more soon...

Anonymous said: when they start asking questions abt kamino ward at some point he just gets fed up and says "I JUST DID IT BECAUSE THE GODDAMN CAT WOULDNT LEAVE ME ALONE. I DONT EVEN LIKE BAKUGOU" and the heroes are like :0? what if, we brought bakugou here?

izuku doesn’t even acknowledge that the kamino ward incident happens it’s like theyre just talking to a brick wall 

Anonymous said: Izuku has no control over his own sass anymore and it's glorious?? Says "that'll be 500 yen" and looks surprised at himslef, says "now it's 600 yen" and looks downright mortified, the sass is too much for his smol body, sassmaster izuku ftw

to quote @salvainterra, “i love the fact that izuku never stops even when he himself thinks he should stop.” izuku listens to every nonviolent intrusive thought that crosses his mind and it both incredible and unfortunate. izuku is no longer bound by human limits 

Anonymous said: msa izuku is the living embodiment of the "fuck this shit im out" song

ABSOLUTELY

Anonymous said: tbh when msa chapter 3 said that izuku slept 12 hours at nighteye's office, i was guessing that he would just passive aggressively sleep as much as possible for as long as they had him. won't give them the satisfaction of watching him wander around in his holding cell. hes in the middle of the interrogation and he puts his head down and goes to sleep (btw love your work!)

haha no he was just so exhausted he passed out for 12 hours. he hasn’t had a good nights sleep in weeks, as soon as all [gestures at ch2] this was over he just crashed 

Anonymous said: Wow the new chapter is great!! Stellar as always. I can't help but imagine what's going on from Izuku's point of view with the spirits. Am I the only one who thinks Aizawa's spirit was trying to apologize or something when Izuku talked about not being forced into anything?

there was definitely some spirit stuff happening... i will say that aizawa’s fox spirit is the one who asked/persuaded izuku to tell aizawa what was Up with his quirk 

Anonymous said: tbh i want to see them question izuku with a lie-detector quirk or something. like he'll say something positively ridiculous and everyone's gonna go "wait wtf he's telling the truth??!!?!!?!?!?!?"

hoho... well... buddy im not gonna say anything... 

Anonymous said: Hello! I found your works recently and have an insane amount of time in the past few days going through it all, cause is all beautiful. I want to scream at you about all of them but you only get so many words with this so I'll focus on msa rn and I read chapter 3 of msa last night and since then I've been switching laughing at Izuku's sass, crying cause Izuku has so much angst involved him and I just wanna hug him, and screaming cause whAT WAS THAT CLIFFHANGER?!! Just what. Thanks for ur works-A

THANKS, thats the kind of reaction i aim for when i write something. im super happy you liked it!! <3 

Anonymous said: Technically his quirk is "Being alive" or "Having a functioning body" but saying that would probably end with the same blank stares. As a side note, in the manga (and canon in general) they mentioned quirks are activated by the 'quirk factor energy' or whatever... Do you think that might mean that people who are quirkless just don't naturally have enough quirk energy to activate their latent quirks? it would also make some sense from an evolutionary standpoint, the glowing baby is from the first

generation that had enough of the qfe to actually manifest their quirk and after that generation the lowering number of quirkless could be attributed to those that have a deficit in the production of said energy and they might actually have latent quirks. The pinky toe missing could be the final mutation that causes them to have enough energy for their quirks to work.. The only issue with the theory I see is OFA not awakening latent quirks with it's energy jumpstart...

i think that’s a pretty good theory! it lines up pretty well w/ the worldbuilding in msa. as for afo, :3c

Anonymous said: Hey uh.. I know this is probably 100% non canon in your AU but I was re-reading your MSA fic and I misread something that made me think that Izuku is actually dead and his body is actually being run by his guardian spirit who possessed his body/took his place when he died... *sweats* Its a really weird.. dark idea but I thought it was sorta cool and you might like it..? um.. I'll just let myself out now

god yeah that would be so dark and everything in msa would actually be even worse than it was before 

Anonymous said: When deku explains nighteye's quirk i can only think of that's so raven.

theyre valid questions... 

Anonymous said: I spent my break reading the asks sent to you RE: chapter 3 of msa and I cannot stop fucking laughing over "look eraserhead dead in the eyes and tell him you don't have a quirk" thank GOD I'm supposed to be happy and smiley to everyone

honestly, this is conceptually such a powerful moment that i can’t not put it in the fic now 

Anonymous said: msa izuka finally get set free but kiri has started following him around. States its official hero business but really just wants to see what other "cool shit" izuka will do.

izuku pulls an Official Cryptid Move (tm) and disappears while walking thru a liminal space 

Anonymous said: i love that when aizawa starts asking about deku's quirk he's like, 'screw this i'm answering in riddles now'. this is such a great fic!!

Anonymous said: “It’s a secret,” he says. “A secret that no one knows, that one will suffer, and one-half loathes. Who knows if it’s true or not? The only thing we can confidently say is that it’s one thing that should not be.” Okay, so this is probably one of my favourite little scenes from your fic, partially because it sounds so ominous and badass and makes pretty much no sense. I loved your update, I was so tense the entire time I was reading it, but also giggling hysterically because /Izuku/ just - Izukus

hmm i sure do wonder where izuku got that riddle from... and what it means... 

this riddle is just izuku complaining about everything because as long as he’s in this situation, he might as well make it perfectly clear how unhappy he is about EVERYTHING. when else is he going to have an audience for him complaining about his various maladies 

Anonymous said: I think that a part thats particularly true to izuku's character is when kirishima makes the observation "damn maybe it IS good we arrested him so he can sleep" & izuku goes into a miniature coma for 12 hours bc being arrested presented the perfect opportunity for him to finally be able to sleep

nfdfsljndslfnjdf YEAH, everyone please stop this child it’s for his own good 

Anonymous said: Reading know what i've made by the marks on my hands is really terrifying when not in Izuku's pov because you now know how scary?? it is for some other characters and Izuku looks crazy-- but you know he's not because cheesus???? This kid???????? Honestly I love it so much, thanks for your amazing writing and I want you to know that I enjoy it a LOT.

that’s the goal... showing how weird and strange and bizarre izuku is from everyone else’s point of view... i loved the outside pov bc i got the chance to show how much of a cryptid izuku is, something that izuku himself isn’t even aware of and thus would not make it into his pov

Anonymous said: anon who ((still)) hasn't read bnha here. chapter 3 of msa is amazing. i cannot get over the sheer amount of sass found in such a smol boy. also kirishima is quickly becoming my favorite character because of how supportive and caring he is. kirishima/deku is apparently now something to add to my armada of ships. for that i thank you. also i cannot wait for deku to meet spirit!one for all. it will either be glorious or horrible.

haha im always happy to introduce someone to the wonders of kiri/deku!! its an extremely good friendship... and in my professional opinion everyone should get on it and make it the Hot New Thing. as for ofa, ;3c

Anonymous said: I just thought of this but during Aizawa's interrogation I could totally see his spirit just blatantly looking away from Izuku while Aizawa is asking about his benefactor.

HAHA YUP, i love izuku saying all kinds of stuff about spirits and no one can make any sense of it and meanwhile the spirits are trying to tell him to stop. but izuku cannot and will not be stopped from passive aggressively vaguing about them. he WILL get his complaints in if its the last thing he does 

Anonymous said: “I just fixed your entire Quirk, you cabbage.” I'm sorry but this. This is beautiful. I'M GOING TO GO AROUND CALLING PEOPLE CABBAGE NOW

i was worried it was a bit of an overused classic internet insult but this is reassuring :p 

Anonymous said: every word that comes out of MSA Izuku's mouth is a blessing

but not to our three heroes and their intrepid intern sidekick... 

Anonymous said: Shit after the msa chapter i've got so many questions about Kamino. Did the rescue occur the same with minor variations? Is AfO still down? Did All Might fckin die? Has OfA been passed down yet? I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS

im uncreative and unoriginal with canon events so we’ll see.... we’ll see. 

Anonymous said: MSA CHAPTER 4! I just found it today and I'm already rereading it. I did not know how much I needed sassy dead inside izuku. I Love this fic so much! That cliff hanger was so good! I'm so exciting to see more of izuku's pov. I love kiri but like I can't get enough of this izuku and his thoughts and reactions to things. This is so well written. The pacing in chapter 2 was so good. It felt like a heist and then keeping the readers guessing with not knowing if he was gonna get away was so good!

thank you so much!! im really glad you enjoyed the story that much <3 <3 sassy izuku is a pleasure to write honestly, can’t wait to see him more in future chapters 

Anonymous said: Ohhhhhh you should update msa! It's so unbelievably good! I love the interaction between kirishima and izuku! Like I'm so excited to learn more about kamino ward and how that's gonna affect izuku going free and keeping his identy safe

:3c 

Anonymous said: In chalter 2 of the msa au, did Kirishima think anything about how Deku said "I swear to every spirit I know"?

he dismissed it as a kind of weird, niche turn of phrase. like oh, guess this guy believes in spirits and junk, but im more worried about literally every other weird thing he’s done today 

Anonymous said: So does MSA!Izuku always mess with attempts to record his presence? I feel like this would be kind of a major problem when it comes to getting himself a school ID or the like. (He's going to school somewhere, so he must have a school ID stashed somewhere). You know, they could potentially use this to track his identity down. They can try contacting schools to see if any had issues with one student needing to have an excessive number of photo retakes.

nope, usually izuku can keep it under control! the blood sigil on his collarbone is what really let him passively affect the electronics.

Anonymous said: Ok so msa!Izuku says "he shouldn't" exists, and when I first read that I was really confused, do you mean he shouldn't exist in the way that he sees things he shouldn't, or that he literally should not exists and Inko has no freaking clue where he came from/he was not a planned child?

yes to the first proposal. other than that, spoilers... 

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 2x11 recap

(Aka the one where Keaton and Dr Sun face off in an exciting round of  “~Whose Presence Is The Least Wanted~”. Spoiler: they both win.)

Delayed a little by a spontaneous three-day trip across the state and a few late shifts, but finally here at last. So thanks your your awesome responses to last week’s recap, and prepare for a large quantity of thoughts and opinions because damn this ep was actually good??

Noooo. Roman. My baby. Why must you suffer so much??? I mean sure there was the terrorism and the murdering and all, but... well, just as I don't see Remi and Jane as the same person, Times New Roman and Old Roman are also not the same. Plus, given that messed up childhood he had, his violence is kinda unsurprisng. And I just can't help it okay, he's my scruffy psycho puppy and I love him. And Jane does too, which is why she's always visiting him (FOR THE LAST 2 WEEKS WHAAAT. mORE ON THIS IN A SEC) and trying to make sure he's eating and getting some rest and just basically being the sweetest sister ever ughhhhh. But he's understandably starting to crack, being caged up in there like an animal, and ugh can I just hug them both rn

Okay this next scene is a Nas scene, ergo I don’t care about it, so I'm gonna just pause for a second and vent about this whole two-week-jump thing. Because you know what can happen in two weeks in this show?? Everything!! Like literally from the time Jane rejoined the team in the premiere up to the events of last ep (aka a total of 11 eps), only TWELVE DAYS had passed. (Yes, I counted). So let's think about this. This means that Jane came back into the team's lives 12 days ago. She met Roman 12 days ago. She was shot by Zapata 12 days ago (though you would never know it based on her physical activity... #tvmedicine). And wanna know some other things that happened in that 12 days? 11 days ago Weller found out he was gonna be a father (Allie was like 15 weeks along at the time, at best guess??), and Borden asked Patterson out. Approx 6 days ago, Jane kinda pretty much admitted to Weller that she loved/loves him. She found out about the baby a day later, the same day Allie was shot. (Again, not a hint of that injury any time we've seen her since!). Weller and Nas started sleeping together 4 days ago, while Jane's 'happy ending' fantasy (*sobs*), and her failed date with Oliver happened only three days ago. Then let’s not even get into the whole shitstorm of Shepherd’s trap and the team nearly dying and Patterson discovering Borden’s betrayal just a day ago. So are you seeing my issue here?? All these things happened in LESS than 2 weeks, and now we've just jumped forward that entire block of time and ugh what the hell did we miss in all those days??? I’m actually legit worried about what bad things could have happened/are brewing...

Aaand speak of the devil. Or devil-lady. Nas is apparently doing something shady (shocking, I know) and Weller comes to investigate, since apparently she's been 'sneaking off every morning'. Oh, great. You know what, maybe I'm glad we've skipped ahead two weeks, if these two have continued their... whatever the hell this is... during all that time. But seriously dude, Jane is back and you guys are actually on good terms again, why are you still with the rebound??? Unless... unless she's no longer the rebound but rather the barrier. Like with Jane back and their old connection starting to reform, maybe he's using this thing with Nas as like a buffer to keep himself from gravitating back to Jane-- lbr, he's the proverbial moth to her flame, and vice versa-- and so basically this thing with Nas is all just a way of protecting his heart by keeping it far away from the one woman who could truly crush it? Honestly rn that's the story I gotta go with bc otherwise I’m gonna get stuck obsessing over wtf is going on here with these two  completely ill-suited people. Sigh. But anyhow apparently Nas used to get messages from this sign from the Sandstorm informant (did she ever look into how though? Like did the informant know or pay off the person who types them? Or did they hack in themselves? Surely that was a lead that should have been followed??) and so apparently she's still checking it. Also damn, the quote up on the sign: "The soul can never be cut to pieces by any weapon"-- very true about Jane, given all she's been through and how strong and incredible she's manages to remain through it all....

But anyway now there are two thug-like dudes just sneaking thuggishly amongst a bunch of shipping containers and lbr it's already a better scene than the previous one. And then a Distinguished Looking Man and a younger man (his son, I'm guessing?) exit one of the containers, looking Distinguished and Mysterious. Dude, I hope you guys didn't come from far away, bc that would not have been a fun journey...

Ooooh Weller's lady-juggling is apparently not going so well as he ends up missing Allie's appointment-- what's she now? 20 weeks, give or take? And yet that's one tiiiiiny belly she's still got... like okay yes, some women barely show at all, even well into the second trimester, but lbr NEVER TV WOMEN. TV women are usually always sporting one of those massive fake belly things so that we, the poor silly viewers, don't forget that “HEY THIS LADY GOT KNOCKED UP, THERE'S DEFINITELY A BABY KICKING AROUND IN HERE SO GET READY FOR IT TO FLY ON OUT AND MESS SHIT UP AT ANY MOMENT". And yet, with this show... nothing? Some slightly baggier clothes, maybe, but not even a moderate bump. What does it mean?? Are they sneakily trying to tell us that ~all is not as it seems~ with this pregnancy (like hey, maybe Allie even sneakily moved the appointment forward so Weller would miss it)-- or, am I just reading to much into things, and the show’s prop-masters were simply out of stock on the Defo-Preggo fake bellies and decided it didn't matter and we probably wouldn't notice its absence anyway? Seriously I have been super suss of this pregnancy from the start (mainly bc why the hell would it even have been written into the story unless for some kind of ~Shock Drama~ down the track) so maybe I'm looking too hard for hints? Lbr it's gonna take a fair bit to shake me from my 'Allie is a Sandstorm operative and is faking the pregnancy bc of reasons' theory. And Cutie Connor can totally fit into that too. But anyhow Weller is a sweetie and is trying very hard to be a Good Dad(TM). Oh, my son. Why do I strongly get the feeling that you will never even get the chance to be a dad to this baby. (*whispers* there's always your babies with Jane to look forward to, tho...)  

Oooh it's back-to-work day for Reade (two weeks post-surgery really isn't enough for a physical job like his, but whatever I'mma overlook it) and omg he and Zapata having an awkward little chat and dude is this really the first time they've spoken since that terrible kiss? Really?? So there was just radio silence between them, two best friends, for two weeks while he was practically an invalid. Ooookay. Sure. On a brighter note, there was a rat in the lockerroom that Reade had named Whitey Bulger hahaha. That's adorable. I hope it was released humanely. Reminds me of the mouse that used to live in the wall of my parents’ house and its hole was right near the computer desk so I would feed it crumbs when I was up on the computer at like 3am haha. Ah, good times. Also okay hold on google says that Whitey Bulger was an infamous crime boss who murdered like 20 people. Ohhhhh and apparently he was an FBI informant, aka a rat. I wonder if the rat was white, too? Though generally wild rats are brown. But wow okay I am getting very distracted (lbr it's the secondhand embarrassment from this super awkward interaction, I can't deal so I’m avoiding the whole thing lol)

Phew okay now we can switch to a far more pleasing scene-- my baby Patterson is back at it, and I'm not even gonna comment on the bullet-wound recovery time. Just look at this restraint I’m showing. Anyway based on Zapata's very pointed comments, lil baby Patterson has refused to take any time off. Ugh. Though if I were her I wouldn't really want to be at my apartment either. I wonder if Borden left anything there... :( also Patterson still has a nasty headache, which sounds ongoing and is not all that consistent with the eardrum-stabbing. It could be a bunch of things, including lack of sleep, but... I wonder. Maybe Sheherd was sneakier than we thought. But for now let's just hope our baby is okay.

Looolll I feel like I'm watching a married couple having a fight over what's best for their kid or something. But lbr here if not for the pressure that Weller's facing to show that he's 'punishing' Roman somehow (seriously we know how Pellington fels about Roman, not to mention how all the agents under Weller’s command must feel about the man that helped kill 12 of their own), I feel like he would be on Jane's side of this argument. Although, he probably also recognises the influence Roman has over Jane, and might be worried that Roman could pull her away from him... but anyhow it's entertaining to watch these two in their own little bubble with Nas off to the side, just awkwardly hovering there like she's an afterthought. Neither one particularly wants her input rn but she has to be there, so... but then she suggests bringing in an 'expert' that she knows and that sets off instant alarm bells for me. DO NOT TRUST ANYONE ASSOCIATED WITH NAS, INCLUDING NAS, OKAY GUYS? THEY’RE SNAKE-PEOPLE, THE LOT OF THEM. This is bound to bode ill for Roman and Jane and like probably everyone somehow

Aw my clever baby has cracked (or re-cracked) an old tattoo, which previously had given them a random number but now correlates to a shipping container-- naturally, the very one that our mysterious duo exited earlier. And due to some handy camera unscrambling, we know that Distinguished Man is a supposedly-dead warlord dude that did a bunch of bad things and was actually indirectly involved in the team nearly getting killed in Turkey last season. Oooooh, drama.

So the kiddies are heading into the bullpen-- Reade joining Weller and Jane as they head together to the main briefing area. So wait how come Jeller were off on their own just then, given that the team was all just together down in Patterson's lab a minute ago? (*cough* quickie?? *cough*) But anyhow traces of nitroglycerin were found in the container apparently so ooooh bomb??? But apparently the company who paid for the container also paid a bunch of dough to some other lady, so the team brings her in-- and finds out the money was 'life insurance' from the death of her brother a few days ago. But hold on, she never even saw the body, said that he'd already been taken to the morgue. And bingo, this story is already throwing up a ton of flags. I can tell you from direct experience that when a person dies in hospital, a doctor (ie, me) is immediately called to certify them, and then we tuck them in nicely and ensure they look peaceful before we contact the family and allow them to come in. And unless the family is like hours and hours away, the patient will remain in their room until they've had a chance to say goodbye. If the family can't get there for a long time, they're taken to the hospital’s mortuary where they await pickup by the family's chosen funeral director. At any point in this process the family can still be taken to see the patient if they wish. So clearly, something else happened with this woman's brother, and someone paid off multiple hospital staff to make it look how they wanted. Definitely not easy to do. And now, according to Patterson, it turns out he was actually transferred elsewhere... this is all veeeeery shady

Ugh Jane going to Roman and using Borden's coffee example to help reach out to him. Ughhhh. And then ugh he asks her if Shepherd loved them and why she wiped his memory and this puts Jane in such a tight spot bc if she said Shepherd did it but didn't love him then how does she explain later that she herself did it out of love and aarghh. But her answer "maybe she thought it was the only chance she had left to get you back” is a good answer. I'm still sad that she had to lie to him about it, and the ramifications that that's going to have. Please understand, Roman, she loves youuuuu and only wants what’s best for you!

Meanwhile Patterson's found the person who last visited the dude in hospital, bc she's da boss. And then Weller asks if she ran the plates and she practically rolls her eyes at him, sassily gesturing over her shoulder just as a photo of the plates appears on the screen behind her. Badass. The team subsequently goes chasing the car-- which is conveniently like ten mins away-- and suddenly it's like we’re in the middle of a black SUV convention when the team surrounds the target cars, the two separate sides differentiated only by the fact that out of one set of cars comes our badass team with their big guns, and out of the other comes a murdering, bloodthirsty, terrorist warlord... and something much worse. KEATON. And lbr I will forever be proud of Jane for the fact that she has her torturer directly in her line of fire and yet doesn't even once struggle with the temptation of pulling the trigger. Because no matter what she's been through-- and no matter what Remi did in the past-- Jane is not a killer. (Let's just agree to overlook the whole thing with Fisher bc that man was an evil little weasel and deserved what he got). And then Zapata discovers a possible bioweapon in the car, ratcheting tensions even higher until Keaton is all 'chill, it's just a pilfered body part'. And lbr, Keaton is so damn repugnant that this is the only way he could ever steal anyone's heart. (badum-tish?). But omg then Jane tells Weller-- while staring at Keaton with bared teeth-- that he was the one who tortured her. And being the little shit-stirrer he is, Keaton tries to imply that Weller has known all along (actually only two weeks and 4 days, but who's counting), and Jane's trust in Weller wavers just slightly at that, given that he'd told her from the start that he hadn't known anything about her torture. Which was true, at the time. And now he quickly reassures her-- while staring absolute daggers at Keaton-- that he only found out in Bulgaria. I wonder if he's mentally reliving that last meeting bc oh boy I sure am. Ah, those satisfying choking sounds. But anyhow, it turns out that Warlord Man's son needs a heart transplant and the CIA is providing it in exchange for info about planned terrorist attacks. The traces of 'nitroglycerin' that was found in the storage container was actually from the kid's heart medication (glyceryl trinitrate, in case you're interested, though he likely wouldn't be on that medication for this particular condition. Also to get those traces around the container I guess he must have been doing a Great-Escape style boredom activity, just with throwing his tablets instead of a ball. Anywho tho Jane tells Weller he can't trust Keaton, and as he always does (or did, in the old days) he finds a way to do what she suggests that is also going to appear acceptable to the Big Bosses. Which in this case means inviting Keaton and Co into their base. Joy. 

So not only does the team have to work with the world's biggest asshat, but there's an attack tonight that they need to stop. Zapata takes Anton the Warlord's phone and laptop to Patterson bc apparently she can't face the idea of interviewing him with Reade (come on kids, we're all grownups here) and everyone suddenly disperses, leaving Jane alone in the room with Keaton. I kinda feel like that's an oversight that Weller wouldn't actually make (and lbr he's always been super aware of where Jane is and what she's doing at all times) so I kinda feel like he is deliberately giving her this chance to face Keaton alone? He knows she wouldn't do anything foolish-- such as, say, try to choke him to death, like a certain someone-- and knows she needs this closure. And omg Keaton is now boo-hooing about missing his kid's basketball games because he had to spend his time 'interrogating' her. Damn, that's cold. He's literally acting like she wronged him. (Can I claw his eyes out now, please?? Since Jane is too good of a person to do it??). But well, at least Keaton’s shittiness gives us this scene of Jane storming into Weller's office. He's sitting and staring pensively at a watch in his hands-- what's the significance? Was it his father's? What am I missing here?? and she bursts in all angry and hurt that they're working with Keaton after what he did to her, which lbr would basically feel like everyone dismissing it as no big deal. But thankfully Weller makes it clear-- with his Serious Voice and turbulent eyes-- that he hates it too and even nearly killed Keaton when he found out. And boy, does that take the wind out of her sails. Yes, Jane, Mr Always-Do-The-Right-Thing literally nearly murdered a high-ranking government official for hurting you. And ugh you can see how much that means to her-- lbr with them, that's basically as much an admission of love as any kiss could be... 

Aaaand then of course Nas has to appear to ruin the moment, because that's literally like her entire role on this show; Ms Shady Backstabber and Moment-Ruiner. And oh joy, she's brought her 'expert', who on one hand I am pleased to see is a disabled WOC, bc yes good tv representation, but on the other hand I wish she just wasn't there at all. That actress was great in Quantico though. Literally tho in the first minute the doctor has called Roman a 'prisoner' and a 'killer'. Biased, much??? I have literally treated jailed murderers myself, and the entire medical staff would always refer to them only as 'the patient' or at the very worst, 'the inmate'. So this lady is really already rubbing me the wrong way here. As much as I dislike her, though, I agree that Jane shouldn't be there for her assessment. But ugh I hope she can watch on cameras or something just so someone is keeping an eye on what they do to my poor puppy... but seriously tho let's all take a moment to appreciate how well Jane keeps herself in check like all the time?? I mean she's constantly copping crap from people and she just takes it with such grace (okay sometimes with a little less grace but generally very well) and ugh I just love her so much

Speaking of Jane, she takes her turn watching over Anton, and while the man refused to say a word to Reade, the sight of Jane has him opening right up. I feel ya, buddy. I'd spill my guts to her too. I enjoy that they bond over their mutual hatred of Keaton. Can I join that party? Also ugh the way he talks about his son not being like him, and being deserving of a proper life... kinda like Jane still deserves a good life despite who her 'mother' is and what she's done. But oh geez, his next line-- "You know what's the worst thing that can happen to a man, Jane? To lose a child." AAAAHHHH RED FLAGS RED FLAGS THIS IS FORESHADOWING I JUST KNOW IT. DOES THIS MEAN THE WRITERS ARE GONNA KILL OFF WELLER'S BABY??? DOES IT???? And then oh shit, the son dies (I am still sure that that line was foreshadowing more than just his death though) and the team is all like wtf do we do??? Naturally Keaton thinks the only option is to lie, which Jane strongly disagrees with, both of them turning to Weller, who brings them both with him to see Anton. Keaton gets in there and starts spouting lies-- only for Weller to step up and tell the truth, while also being genuinely sympathetic. Yaaaaasss my son taking Jane's side and doing the right thing, as he should :) And ugh she is so sad for the man's loss and tries to get him to see that his son wouldn't have wanted this. 'His ideals aren't like yours' oh boy does she know all about that. But even her heartfelt pleas can't get through to him (come on, dude, look at that faaaace) and so now the team is really in trouble... But as always happens when shit hits the fan, everyone turns to Patterson, who naturally comes through, tracing a phone that got a coded message from Anton's phone, giving them the lead they desperately need...            

But while my beautiful and trustworthy team is busy doing that, Shady and Shadier are starting their mindgames on my poor lil caged lion Roman. Keep your devil-claws off him, ladies! That means you, sneaky shrink! Also if he is believed to be so dangerous and unstable, there is no way she would be that close to him, especially without any guards present. He could kill her in a single second. And speaking of which, baby Ian just stabbed the hell out of one of the other boys at the orphanage (the one that stole his coin), seemingly on the order of their captors? And in the earlier flash that we got, the guy said "Will you kill your rabbit now?" So these are two separate memories, right? The rabbit is really a rabbit, yeah? Like ‘rabbit’ isn't a metaphor for a 'target' or something right? Either way, daaaaamn, these poor kids...   

Aaaaahhhhh we're getting another Jeller heart-to-heart moment in the caaaarrrr! I've missed these. I so wish Reade and Zapata were in the back seat pretending not to exist like they did in the good old days when Jeller were having a ~moment~, but sadly not this time. But ugh Jane is again expressing her fears about Roman's reaction should he find out that she zipped him, and I love this bc not only is Jane allowing herself to turn to Weller again for comfort, but she's also being open with him about her feelings, ensuring there's nothing hidden between them anymore (at least on her side. While I assume she's figured out the whole Nas thing, I doubt he's outwardly said anything to her). And ugghhhhh Weller doesn't hesitate to comfort her, reminding her that she has become a completely new person-- aka, a good person-- after her wipe. Yaaaassss for Weller acknowledging that Jane and Remi are separate people. And then ughhhh he says the wipe was the best thing that ever happened to her but lbr it's the best thing that ever happened to him??? That memory wipe brought her right to him, gave them the opportunity to know each other and fall for each other. Hers wasn't the only life that was changed forever the day she climbed out of that bag. But omg he's still not done??? He tells her that she not only saved Roman's life by doing what she did, but whatever hope he has left (of a life, of happiness and normalcy) is a gift that she gave him. Oh lord, help me. And then he turns to her and puts the heart eyes up to high beam and boy are they blinding. I'm legit gonna have lightspots in my vision for like the next hour. But ugh what I love most is that these are not his previous "I adore you and everything you are" hearteyes but more of an "I have done so wrong by you and though I know I could never make it right I will spend every day of the rest of my life trying" hearteyes and honestly JUST LET ME DIE. Oh wait, nope, I am about to die bc now we're in the other car with Zapata and Reade AND I CANNOT DEAL WITH THE AWKWARD. Save me. At least Reade is trying to talk it out like a grownup whereas Zapata is all but stuffing her fingers in her ears and going "la la la la I can't heaaaaar you" lol. 

Thankfully, Weller chooses that moment to rescue us all (he probably needed a distraction of his own bc he was becoming too lost in Jane's eyes haha) and everybody pulls into a place that looks kinda reminiscent of the spot where Zapata shot Jane. Everyone fans out, including Jane, and I will forever be so happy about the fact that she's back out with the team and trusted with a weapon and they all know they can rely on her as a true team member and ughhhh I'm just so happy to be getting back to the real heart of this show. And speaking of things that are right at the very core of this show, Weller has managed to get himself blown up yet again, this time by trying to stop a dude who had wired a bunch of basketballs on a rack into a bomb. Bad dude gets away with a bunch of other bombs, and Weller gets away with barely a scratch-- which doesn't stop Jane from yelling his name in alarm and immediately running to his side, even giving us an Unnecessary (but sadly not all that Lingery) touch on his arm as if she's reassuring herself that he's okay. Ah man. You guys are killing me. While this season has certainly frustrated me in regards to Weller's actions towards Jane, it definitely doesn't disappoint in hers towards him. Ugh, my stupid in-love babies, how I adore you

Anywho the whole crew is on the site now (including Keaton, which literally everyone there/the entire world could do without) and they realise that though there's no major basketball games on tonight-- which of course our resident ex-gambler knows-- there is a youth league game on, aka the one that Keaton's daughter is playing at. And how do they know this?? Because my baby Jane is a freakin' genius as well as a badass, and she actually listens to what people say, even if those people are jerks and don't deserve a second of her attention. And so now when Jane speaks, everyone listens, which is why they're all currently bolting to the kids' game. And Keaton is all "he's doing this to get at me" *whinge whinge*, and Jane is all 'bitch shut up there's a lot more people there than just your kid'. But naturally Keaton continues to bitch bc he's Keaton, then even annoyingly brings up the whole being a parent thing, at which time Jane sneaks an almost-sad look at Weller, because freaking everyone has to continuinally remind her that the man she loves now has a permanent tie to someone else. Great, thanks, show. 

But anyhow despite Weller having everything under control, Keaton manages to ruin everything as usual, getting his own agent killed and forever traumatising his daughter in the process. Weller and Keaton then bugger off in search of the daughter while Jane and the other two take out a bunch of baddies like the badass little team they are. Ah, so good to see them like this again. Jane splits off from the others to chase more baddies while the two of them try to defuse the bomb with Patterson's help. Bc when in need, always call Patterson. Jane's fight with the baddie in the gym is kinda hilarious, like at one point she sends him sprawling but rather than knocking him out she waits politely for him to get up before continuing their fight. Such manners :P  Although given the fact that she then slams a kettleweight straight into his face/chest, maybe she’d used up her quota of good behaviour haha. Meanwhile Patterson shuts down the cell signal to the area, preventing the bomb being activated via the mobile phone detonator... ummm is that a thing that's actually possible? Idek. Anyhow Weller and Keaton find the daughter at gunpoint in the locker room, and Weller's all "I haven't got a shot" though lbr I bet that ‘Mr Exceptional Marksmanship Award’ could totally shoot that guy's exposed hand. A moment later he gets the shot anyway when Keaton draws the baddie out, and all seems to have ended happily until-- dun dun dun-- there's another baddie, right about to shoot both Keaton and his daughter!! Only to be shot by Jane first, aka my perfect beautiful princess who always saves any life she can, even if that life belongs to the piece of slime that tortured her for three freakin’ months. Hey Weller, take notes. If Nas had been in Jane's situation just then, she would have sat back and watched. No doubt about it. At least Keaton is man enough to genuinely thank her tho, to which she gives pretty much the much more professional-sounding version of "screw you, asshole" lol. You go, girl.

Oh boy. So you put Roman into an ‘MRI’ and are now basing your diagnosis on the absence of a perceived response to a few pictures. Good lord, woman, you must have gone to a worse medical school than Borden. I don't even know where to start with this. Firstly the scan you're thinking of is a PET scan, but you literally can’t make this diagnosis based on that anyway!! And honestly lady have you ever opened a psych textbook in your entire life, there's a whole bunch of criteria to diagnose Antisocial Personality Disorder and ROMAN LITERALLY DOES NOT MEET THEM. Even Old Roman doesn't meet the majority of them, and New Roman meets practically none. This woman is a CHARLATAN and I will not TOLERATE THIS DISRESPECT TOWARDS EITHER OF MY BABIES. Gaaawd. So now poor Roman is in danger of being locked away in a padded room for his whole life on the word of one woman; one woman who they know nothing about except that she comes recommended by Nas (which should be an automatic black mark against anyone's name imo) but also a woman who just told Jane-- aka Jane who grew up in Hell's Orphanage and has been through unfathomable shit her entire life including three months of recent physical torture-- and this woman just told her she can't possibly imagine how 'terrible' this Sudanese orphanage was that she visited once as a student. Good lord, can I slap her yet. Please. At least Jane kind of calls her on it, raising the point that she grew up in exactly the same way as Roman, but it's clear the snake-charmer's mumbo-jumbo has her doubting herself. Ugh. At least Weller doesn't seem at all happy with the idea of having to lock Roman up-- probably bc he knows how it'll hurt his precious Jane, and after allowing her to suffer for so much of this season he's finally gotten his shit together and realised she didn’t/doesn't deserve any of it and now desperately wants to make up for his previous ass-ish ways.

Speaking of ass-ish ways, Zapata has decided to grow up a little and reach out the olive branch. Thank god. She even apologises, which is impressive, because this is Zapata... although she still manages to turn it into a bit of a joke. I do love the "you're not even my type, though" (we know, Sarah is) and the "why, too smart or too classy?" Thankfully he calls her on the classy part, and yaaayy we are back to the sassy banter that I like :))) Brotp forever please. Also Reade aren't you still on pain meds? You shouldn't really be drinking... And then aww she wingmans for him (which would have been hilariously awkward if the girl had actually been checking HER out. Man, that would have been amazing). But then hold on writers, what is this little ~look~ she throws back at him?? Please tell me that that was just a slightly wistful 'If only I could love him as something more than a brother, who knows, we could have been a good couple" and not a "I'm pretending I don’t have feelings for you bc though I actually am in love with you I don't want to drag you down into the trash pile with me". Bc legit if the writers go down the path of the latter, I'm going to be so pissed. JUST LET THEM BE BEST FRIENDS, OKAY??? NOT EVERYONE WITH OPPOSITE GENITALS HAS TO FALL IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER, GEEZ.

Naw Patterson finds Jane sitting behind the mirror, watching over Roman like the loving-- and worried-- big sister that she is. And Patterson, bless her, my precious angel made of fairy dust and sunshine-- gently reassures her that 'psychology isn't even a real science so you shouldn't listen to anything the shrink says' (or something along those lines lol), and then ughhhhh when Jane is basically acknowledging that she has no power to fight the shrink's diagnosis because she 'isn't objective', Patterson gifts us with this: "Maybe that's the point. Weller wasn't objective, and he brought out the best in you. Maybe you can do that for Roman". And so the Queen has spoken: lack of objectivity = LOVEEEE, and love will set you free and all that jazz. But ugh Patterson I could kiss you rn (not like I would ever need much encouragement any other time, tho lol)

Okay if no kissing then could I at least write you a prescription for some better pain killers because I hate seeing you suffer like this (ugh Shepherd what sneaky thing did you do to my precious baby). At least the pain meds that she has-- while useless for the pain-- actually help her to crack the leopard clue. Wooo! Shame she had to get Nas involved, but at least she's telling Jane pretty much immediately. And because Patterson is a genius, she determines that the clue points towards a chick in some bikie gang, who is seen in a photo with none other than Roman. Guess we know what next ep is about!!  #exciting

Oh joy, an Allie and Weller scene. I was totally just thinking that this ep needed more of them (#not). But oh my goddddd he's been nesting, setting up a nursery and buying a crib with the highest safety rating and trying out colour swatches for the walls and oh my lord this is simultaneously the worst and the best thing bc 'excited prospective-dad Weller' is SO ADORABLE but the circumstances and partner are definitely... less than ideal, shall we say. Siiiiiiiigh. And then BAM Allie's suddenly moving to Colorado with Connor and Weller cares too much about her to ever even consider trying to get her to stay and so okay I see two options here: either the writers are trying to make us think Allie is going to be out of the picture, so when some Big Bad Thing happens involving her and the baby, it'll be an even bigger twist; or, she literally does move to Colorado and the show very occasionally mentions Weller's interstate baby in future seasons just so we don't start thinking that the whole storyline was just a really protracted, mass-shared bad dream. Since the second would just be embarrassingly bad screenwriting, I'm pretty much hoping for the first option...

Well, there it is. Happy Blindspot Day, and see you for the (hopefully much more punctual) next installment!                       

[survivormuxloe]

Episode #1 & 2: "so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell" - Ahrre

So I'm so confused right now lol. Like I feel like discord should have a similar format to skype, but maybe I'm just dumb and cant figure it out. Also the only people I know/heard of are on the other tribe which is fun. Hopefully I can set myself up so my lack of understanding Discord doesn't make me look like a liability to the rest of my tribe.

we legit just got into our tribes.. missus sweyn.. LOL. i legit don't know ANYONE!! APART FROM MY BABY RYAN!! LIKE WHO ARE THESE PPL? liek i've heard of rhys and malik from like other orgs but the other people like god.. why can't I just have my circlejerk like in emvv. ): and idk WHO IS EVNE ON THE OTHER TRIBE WHICH MAKES IT WORSE I COUD HAVE LIKE A BUNCH OF RLY STRONG PLAYERS who are gunna win every single immunity challenge.. and i ain't wantin to go premerge nnn. uhm. ya. thats my mood rn. Xo

Oh wow, hi it’s me, Mo. I’m going into this game with an advantage of not having a social life so I can be more active. I like my tribe so far everyone’s really nice. I only know Fabricio because he won the game I got PoTS on. But I think I’m going to withhold that information of him winning his last game because I kinda wanna be allies.

First impressions of my tribe, they’re pretty cute I guess I like people well enough but I’m always nervous about pre existing relationships people may have in other communities so that’ll be fun to manoeuvre around my plan is just to lay low be social and hopefully not stick out as a target

deadass the challenge has barely started and wes already has 2 images.. meanwhile his ass has prob spoke in the tribe chat like once and he aint comin in  my pms anytime soon so. LAMJHNFG . better hope his social game saves him over the physical x

this is my 3rd one already but this is important. linus is the first person to say haha to me. TWO! FUCKING! HA'S!!!!!! JUST SAY LOL!!!! SAY LMAO!!! IDGAF!! Omg this is geniunely my pet peeve and i wanna scream a a a a a  a a a a a  aa

Man, I'm back with Tobi from Survivor Ko Chang and that scares me to death. He claims he wants to start on a clean slate with me and work together again, but I don't trust him one bit and the first opportunity I have to take him out, I'm gonna do it, cuz I can't have somebody like him around. Bad for my game.

On the other hand of the spectrum, I know Michael from Zwooper and we've always had a good relationship so I think that's one person I can fully align with right out of the gate. I've also worked up some social connections with Dani, Jose and Ahrre so far, and they all seem pretty chill for the most part.

Right now, my focus is to win. I'm gonna go hard in this first immunity challenge and rack up as many points as I can. Losing the first challenge always sucks and I wanna make sure that doesn't happen for me again.

Okay im like mad excited to play this game. One Ive been kinda down, and this should help me be able to invest my time into something and potentially help me feel better.

Seeing this cast. I love it. I have really only worked with Felix in a past org before but we havent talked in ages. So I dont have any past connections which feels great because I hate people assuming were working together because were friends?. So this wont happen this season which is great.

So far my tribe is okay. Havent had a chance to speak alot to everyone yet. However the people I have done are alright. So far my favorite person is Scott or Scooty Toots. Hes British as well as me, he's 18 and we're both starting University without a clue what were doing. Like twins?!? So hopefully he feels the same way about me too.

Alliances are key. I want to make a few smaller ones to form a majority for me. Like two allainces of three. Giving me 4 allies. Not sure if this will happen soon or not, but its my goal to take control of this game, as Ive never done it before. I dont want to come across as controling however so smaller groups is the way to do it in my head.

Omfg y'all...... The game started like maybe 16 hours ago and I have barely spoken to most of my tribe bc I was a lil busy last night & had some damage control to handle in EMVV but like..... ??? I already found the idol in the Play Room CTFUUUU. We fucking stan. I immediately told my son Scooty because he's my bae.... I haven't had my hands on an idol in an org since like...... 703 San Marcos when I was voted out w it in my pocket (i think?? i cant remember any others so..) so BEST BELIEVE I'm going to use this correctly. THAT IS MY MAIN MISSION. I'm craving that satisfaction of a successful idol play...... I would love to cross that off my imaginary org goals list..... BUT WHEW I'M PUMPED.

I am making a pact with myself to not be an overly annoying gamebot this season because I just wanna have fun with it and make it a chaotic season, and this lil buddy is gonna allow me to be as extra and messy and turbulent as I please <3 big dick energy

Helloo so here I am doing this org thingy so you're stuck with my thoughts of regret until I die, or you could just not read them that's also an option.

Anyhow god save the queen blabla after more time that it should've taken me I get that I'm in one of two tribes of 9 which is kinda good because with snaller tribes I feel lime everything is more claustrophobic and shit hits the wall the moment we lose a challenge. But with 9 players imo I feel more relaxed.

So summary of who am I stuck with, there are a few who I know from before so let's start with that.

First off Jose, already played an org with him and we were good allies so my first instinct was to call him a bastard and hey he took it well so hopefully it will be a smooth sailing with that lad.

But after Jose I don't expect the meta to be kind to me.

Michael and Mo were both in my last org and I blindsided them both. Tbh they were good allies until that point so I'm more than willing to work with them in this game, hopefully they feel the same way.

But anyhow then there's Felix who I think I technically played with? We meet during a merge and he went out early without us ever talking much so really this is gonna be my first time really playing with him, he's the only one that I haven't talked to yet though I hope he gets online.

Then there's Tobi. I've heard of him and from the get go he strike me as a very straight shoot-y player. Those are always interesting to play with so let's see how that goes.

There's Dani, she seems nice and compared to Tobi she seems more social instead of strategy focused but then again it's been one day and I'm talking out of my ass.

Then there's jaylen who seems nice aswell even if I haven't talked much to him.

And finally David the absolute unit, and I say that bc he instantly started focusing on the challenge, which is a breath of fresh air plus he's Canadian so what's not to like thus far.

Talking about the challenge I get anxiety by just looking at it, scavenger hunts are always hard for me bc I live with people and I want them to remain thinking I am a normal member of society so I always need to be sneaky to do this crap, plus I don't have a car or anything so I have to use public transport if I need to go anywhere.

Apart from that well I would like to set up a 5 man majority alliance just to be safe, my only fear is the ever so feared overplaying-doom. But I feel like someone like tobi would jump on that idea pretty easily so I'll have a chat with him about that idea.

Oh and also look at me I remembered to guess for the idol TWO times in a row. I could die this very same week doesn't matter that's already an improvement on my usual gameplay.

Hi since I’m required to do these once an episode, I’ll use this one to talk about my tribe and maybe a few on the other tribe that I saw were on.

Guacamole - They seem fun. I talked with them last night, but our convo went short because we played jack box together. They seem nice though.

Linus - Mix feelings. I can get a completely loyal Linus here, or a cutthroat linus, so I’m kinda wary right now towards him but the vibes I’m getting I don’t think he’s going to be an issue, atleast for now.

Madison/Madisin - She was also at the jackbox last night and I enjoyed her, she was dying laughing at the games and I thought she was funny. So hopefully I get a chance to talk to her today.

Malik - Who? Let’s not talk about that bitch.

Rhys - He literally waits until we’re in a game to talk to me, so I peep it. And you could say I should reach out to him but it’s annoying when I have and he doesn’t do it until we’re in a game together. Boggles the mind. If I can overcome doing that, so can you. But I enjoy our current coversation as of the moment.

Ryan - We just played Mount Olympus together recently and that was a bust for us both. I’m kind of hoping we can be on the same side since it’s been a while since that’s happened. However, Ryan says he just wants to have fun so I don’t fault him if he does crazy things down the road!!

Scooter - I don’t know about him yet. We haven’t talked at all but he seems interesting. Maybe I can give a better opinion when we talk.

Steven - Very hilarious and I’m also intrigued by him. His thinking and way of talking during the jackbox had me DYING I loved it. I think he’s my new favorite new person here so far.

Wes - I only saw him once but we haven’t talked yet so idk what to say. He said he’s from ndims and is an alias of someone, I just don’t know if I know the alias since I was on that site also. But hopefully it could be someone who knows me as Orlando.

Now for the people I know on the other tribe:

Ahrre - I cant stand him too much after our last season of JPORG. He has this self righteous attitude to him and I don’t like it. However, I warmed up to him a bit during the movie times we had been present for awhile back so hopefully if we see each other again, I won’t have that opinion anymore.

Big Tuna aka Danielle - YASSS I love ha! I know her from the Skype minis and she’s amazing. I hope I finally get to play with her for once in a non mini game ❤️

Felix - Felix is a fucking wildcard. I love him, but he has really pissed me off in games in the past, and I’m hoping this one won’t be like those other ones.

Jaylen - A mess but a friend! He plays how he wants and doesn’t care what people thinks or tweaking it to better it but that’s Jaylen for you! Accept it or don’t phew.

Jose - He’s a fucking snake at times LOL but he’s lovely. I wouldn’t mind too much of being on a tribe with him.

That’s all from me for now so hope I stay around longer to see how this season goes!

so the tea is that this tribe is drier than an old lady's pussy and its so hard to talk to these people... there are no personalities... the only people i feel mildly happy talking to are ahhre and jose... and the tea is that both of them asked to be allies w me im like o ok sis lets do this so i have at least like 2 votes i know abt... and i know david from a prior org but thats not really a good thing bc i fucked him over hardcore and like... he knows im a snake LKJHDFSLK I really don't know how to maneuver strategically with this cast butttt ill try my best hehe

Oh wow!! I can't believe I haven't made a confessional yet what a shocker. BUT HI! I'm kind of just trying to get myself acquainted with everyone in the group, I'm not as active as I'd like to be :C but I'm trying my best teehee. On the first night or so Linus, Malik, Stephen, Madison and I played Jackbox games and it was SUPER LIT and We bonded over that and I'm v happy about thatttt. (ofc I already know madison and I already love her but I haven't talked to her in game yet aklsdjf) I just started talking with Scooty today, or Scooty? I might just call him Scooty, ANYWAY yeah we got to talk about how we type similarly and that was nice, we bonded over that and it was littY. I also got to talk to Rhys!! He also seems like a neat guy - I still haven't talked to him a lot but I think he's cool. I honestly don't know who else is on the tribe, Wes and Ryan right? Wes and I talked a little bit, but barely. and Ryan hasn't talked to me at all lmao. Hopefully right now I've made enough connections though. I'd like to make tribe swap so I can meet more people and make friends lololol - wish me luck gang!

I’m getting along with everyone really well so I know I won’t be the first fine at the very least so I just need to lay low laugh and Kiki with everyone and hopefully I can survive for the long term

I’m doing the Scavenger Hunt and knowing me I decided to wait till the last two hours to do everything I can. So now I have an hour and a half to film a bunch of videos

Okay so talking to my tribe Im begining to feel less at ease with them. Mostly because most of them hardly seem to talk. Which dosent bode well for me. Could mean im on the outs and they dont like me. Or that They're all inactive.

Madison seems like the easy boot right now just because like, who?!?. Shes not been around Ive messaged her once and she left me on read.

So Steven had to leave but we still have to do the challenge as if he was competing which PROBABLY means were going to tribal. So ive been working on getting an allaince going. Ive talked to Malik and Brought the Idea of us forming a trio with someone. Luckly he picked Linus because I talk to him aswell. So fingers crossed we can get that going.

I also have a great feeling from Scooty aka scott. So like Hopefully i can get another trio with him going aswell. So then I will be solid untiill a swap.

I do have a concern that Scott and Ryan are close and Malik and Linus are close. More so that I would be their second choice out of the trio if one is made. However thats not going to effect me I dont think this early. So fingers Crossed.

uhm so!! STEVEN QUIT which im rly sad for two reasons. one for him bc i know he wanted to do well and i hope hes doing ok and i geniunely wish the best for him and the other reason is selfish bc i literally.. planted my seeds on him already? like. all that work for nothin. and now we sitting here actin as if madison aint afk and aint gunna submit nothing..

like its the only reason ive done these dumb videos so that i wont be seen as the weak link if we ever lose again almdlddg.. but uhm hopefully my seeds that are in rhys/jones keep me safe bc if madison gets out here i have ryan/rhys/jones to keep me safe.. so im not gonna be that upset if we lose LOL esp bc ik linus/malik r gunna be scary af later on

hopefully we win tho? so i dont have to deal with this stress? i dont wanna relive louvre where i visitted every single premerge tribal except for 2.. even tho i did well hehe uhm. YAH WE’LL SEE :)

I'm kinda bummed that this last challenge wasn't immunity anymore because we smoked the other tribe, LOL. But at the same time, I'm glad cuz I wouldn't wanna lose the challenge after one of my tribe members quit, that'd just be sad as fuck, LOL.

Also, I feel a good rapport developing further between Danielle and I. I feel like her and I can dominate this game together, but I can't get too ahead of myself here. The first couple of rounds are meant to create social bonds and I feel like I've done a good job of that thus far. Only person I haven't talked to is Jaylen and I'm okay with that, cuz if we lose the immunity challenge, he's most likely the first one to go.

Okay, thankgoodness that the challenge was changed to reward last minuet. Because we wouldve gone to tribal.  Maddison is legit missing. I dont even care if we win or loose this next challenge because she needs to go.

So firstly that reward was weird like woo thanks pretty crown but there’s nothing else so I’m thinking that someone else has the clue and my best bet would be jaylen bc he got the Crown Jewels the most important piece. Overall I’m very nervous for this battleship challenge because in my mind it’s mostly luck based so my fate is really out of my hands.

Well, not much honestly but I'm gonna write a confessional for round 1 and stuff so I don't get a strike

The game is going okay I'm trying not to be aggressive talking to people, but just letting people come to me and make conversation right now honestly I'm trying to play UTR since I think considering madison doesn't exist right now I think I'm able to do that TBH. Hopefully it all works out.

I volunteered to do the battleship challenge thing because I have no life and it looked like no one else was gonna volunteer.

I actually know Linus he played with me in Epic SBB in Hell, so that's nice to not be going in with no connections period.

Sorry this wasn't that long but it's something I guess

If we lose probably another confessional will be writen but right now there isn't much to report

I’m for sure feeling a little bit more nervous now because a lot of this challenge is about being organised and teamwork and we could barely have someone sit out so fingers crossed

Heyo so we won the challenge so that was fun, and by fun I mean hell but hey we've got bragging rights, which is pretty much it since unfortunately Steven was medevaced out of da game so even though the other tribe lost they didn't go to tribal.

A bit annoying knowing you did that for nothing but oh well the other tribe seems to be having a rough time by itself with steven quitting and someone (Madison I think) not submitting anything lol

And I say for nothing bc technically we won reward but it was one of those first come first serve things and I only got seved a jpg image so nothing fancy there...

But at least now the next challenge is something where 8 out of 9 people on the tribe don't have to do anything and you bet your ass after that first challenge I'm gonna be one of the 8. David the unit took it upon himself to carry us to victory so godspeed lad.

However this challenge is pretty luck based so I'm saying fuck that I'm not talking my chances.

Following last confessional I talked to tobi about making an alliance and he was onboard, he proposed to have Jose on it which is great since that was my idea anyways, plus I told dani and she was also on board, and to finish up the hipotetical majority of 5 she said he was cool with Michael.

I haven't talked to him yet and Jose hasn't been online but hopefully we should be fine.

Ngl would like to have an alliance with david and felix too, david bc he seems like a total lad with the challenges and Felix because he later told me he felt the most confortable with me.

But regardless hopefully we won't even have to go to tribal (and if we do at least there are other options for the vote)

For now I shall be the dumb cheerleader of the bunch for a game of battleship.

Ahhh, I feel so bad that I lost the challenge for my tribe. I feel like going into a challenge with the weight of the win or loss stacked against you is huge. But I did come REALLY close and my tribe seems to respect that I almost got us the win. I don't think I'll go anywhere tomorrow for tribal, but you never know.

Yesss we won immunity. I’m happy we could after Steven left. They made our challenge a reward for that and we lost but it’s fine because WE WON immunity phew. And it’s all thanks to Wes. So far to me, Madison is looking the easiest vote off right now because I haven’t talked to her and I haven’t seen her so that’s my view on it. The three I talk to the most on my tribe are Rhys, Linus and Scoots. Then Ryan and Guacamole. Then Wes and finally Madison. I hope this game doesn’t pull a JPORG Fitzroy Island, I don’t wanna be screwed over by a random ass tribe swap. But I basically dig my tribe and hope that I won’t be the first to go.

Whew we won?! What. I thought we were gonna fuckin loose. Noah fence Wes.

Sad tings though because Madison is probably going to strike out. Oh well.

Ya boi still hasn’t gone to tribal so stay mad.

It’s fucking gross having to go to tribal council and I can’t be dealing but I seem to have found myself in two alliances with only dani connecting the two so I’m gonna work with dani to ride this middle ground and make it further

I’m going home omfg. I can’t really have a deep convo with anyone, which means I don’t have an alliance even though I’m sure one has been made ugh. I’m gonna focus on surviving this round then seeing what I can get set up next round. Wish me luck whew

I’m pissed because it’s super obvious that the other 7 on my tribe are in a mega tight alliance. Steven was my only alliance in this hole game, and like, he even told me he found an idol and then on his way out he didn’t even slip me the idol??? Can’t wait to be voted out 7-1 because he wanted a souvenir.

So the tea is that ahrre and I made an alliance of 5 which includes him, me, Jose, Dani, and Michael which I think is cute but they are really boring so meh idk I’ll just flip during merge x JDJSJD I’m a messy bitch

ugh i'm so glad we won immunity bc our tribe is already severely lacking in strong members bc Steven left us out to perish and Madison aint shown her face yet... so the numbers getting back to even is great for us <3

Right so unfortunately we lost the battleship game so that means we're heading to the first tribal of the game, fun stuff.

Now as we lost I got the Me-michael-jose-dani-tobi alliance set up. Meanwhile Felix was telling me that for him it was between Jose or Jaylen, since they've been the least active. Understandable but more understandable is that I'm in an alliance with Jose so for me it seems like it's gonna be Jaylen, who I also haven't spoken much with so I don't mind, albeit every tribal we go to before swapping or merging I see it as a potential ally down the line going home, which shucks.

Either way the alliance (and everyone else for that matter) agreed on jaylen, I also told Jose in kind words to get his shit together before he gets sent home but that's pretty much it. I'm gonna try to lay down for now I don't want to bring any unwanted attention to myself.

Hopefully tribal goes well.

Oh wow hi it’s me, Mo. Ok so currently the plan is to vote out Jaylen which I don’t have a problem with, it’s kinda sad because he is actually really nice but somewhat inactive. I’m on my way to get a burger and fries and I’m fucking ecstatic like I’m so fucking hungry it’s stupid. Also watch me get blindsided.

So we went into this chalenge on a high after wining the reward and I was the one who got the most points out of everyone :))). Although I’m nervous this will put a target on my back, I’m happy that I have kind of proven my dominance in this game! After losing the challenge, I’m upset!! This was all luck based which sucks! After that, I started talking more with Felix, David, Michael and Ahree. Within the span of like 30 minutes, I got added to 2 seperate groups. I was like “iiii” because this can get messy fast. Michael is in both of the groups as well so I don’t feel too bad because at least there is someone else in my position as well. I get along with Felix a lot and have had quite a few good convos with him! David seems to want to lead things in the group he made, which is whatever. Keeps the target off of me, especially if we go to tribal again. I expect to make more confessionals throughout the course of the game, usually videos but I’m pretty tired right now haha.

I just took a nap and there's no tribal and I'm always trying my best. My tribe doesn't hate me for some reason even though I sure would. Oh well. I really miss Steven I hope he's okay.

Steven quit half way through this episode. Then Jaylen was voted out 8-1. 

[thetummyhand]

bored.

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? my mom lol i’m lame

2. Are you outgoing or shy? so shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? no one?

4. Are you easy to get along with? if you don’t mind carrying a conversation then yeah

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? i don’t like anyone atm

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? nice people?

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? nope

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? louuuuis

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? kinda, depends on who i’m talking to

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Bre

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “lol yeah?”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 1) Ed Sheeran - Happier, 2) JHO, 3) Little Mix - F.U. 4) Ed Sheeran - Tenerife Sea, 5) Ed Sheeran - Barcelona... lots of Ed right now

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? oh heck yeah

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? no

15. What good thing happened this summer? i got to go on vacation to the oregon coast for a week and we stayed in a house right on the beach. i wish i was there now

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? no

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? idk man

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? ....

19. Do you like bubble baths? yeah

20. Do you like your neighbors? i’ve never talked to any of them

21. What are you bad habits? there are so many and they’re all embarrasing

22. Where would you like to travel? literally anywhere outside the US

23. Do you have trust issues? big time

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? sleeping

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? all of it?

26. What do you do when you wake up? pee lol

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? i’m fine with it as is

28. Who are you most comfortable around? my family

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? nope

30. Do you ever want to get married? yeah

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? oh yeah

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? hahahaha omg, uhhhhh... i’d rather not say

33. Spell your name with your chin. klwe

34. Do you play sports? What sports? i used to play soccer and baseball

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? without TV, i do that now. unless you count youtube as tv? nah even then i need music for my happiness

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? ALL THE TIME

37. What do you say during awkward silences? something that ends up being stupid... then i kinda walk away in shame

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? can i steal harry’s answer? someone who’s nice, has a good sense of humor

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? h&m, zumiez, old navy.... basic bitch over here

40. What do you want to do after high school? lol i’ve been out of school for... 6 years? holy shit. 

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? not always. it majorly depends on what they did. if someone cheats on you, i think yes. if they murdered someone, no

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? that i don’t know what the fuck to say

43. Do you smile at strangers? yeah

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? neither both sounds scary as fuck

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? responsiblities and louis

46. What are you paranoid about? ??

47. Have you ever been high? yup

48. Have you ever been drunk? yup

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? lol yeah

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? green <3 its my tentree hoodie

51. Ever wished you were someone else? every day of my life

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my depression. i’d like to have ambitions and care about things

53. Favourite makeup brand? urban decay

54. Favourite store? dude i love target

55. Favourite blog? whereslouis, wellingtontat, tmlnsn, viplourry... i can go on

56. Favourite colour? green

57. Favourite food? scallops!!

58. Last thing you ate? burrito 

59. First thing you ate this morning? burrito

60. Ever won a competition? For what? i don’t think so

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? nope

62. Been arrested? For what? underage drinking...

63. Ever been in love? no

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? forceful

65. Are you hungry right now? no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i have no real friends so yeah

67. Facebook or Twitter? neither

68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? no

70. Names of your bestfriends? n/a

71. Craving something? What? chocolate like a lot

72. What colour are your towels? green, blue, gray, cream

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? there’s one on my bed but i do’nt like cuddle with it while i sleep it just chills pushed aghainst the wall

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 3

75. Favourite animal? sting rays <3

76. What colour is your underwear? white

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? usually vanilla but rn its chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? anything Tillamook

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? green

80. What colour pants? they’re shorts. black.

81. Favourite tv show? parks & rec

82. Favourite movie? i really like Whip It and Wonder Woman

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? i haven’t seen the 2nd so 1

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? eh

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? why the obsession with mean girls? its not even that good?

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? eh

87. First person you talked to today? i’ve been home alone

88. Last person you talked to today? my mom

89. Name a person you hate? myself?

90. Name a person you love? louis

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? see 89

92. In a fight with someone? see 89

93. How many sweatpants do you have? so many its all i wear when i’m not at work. i blame louis

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? like 300

95. Last movie you watched? Wonder Woman for the 2nd time ^.^

96. Favourite actress? atm its Gal Gadot

97. Favourite actor? Ryan Reynolds

98. Do you tan a lot? no

99. Have any pets? 1 doggo

100. How are you feeling? like i need a nap

101. Do you type fast? average for my generation

102. Do you regret anything from your past? how mcuh time do you have?

103. Can you spell well? i like to think os

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? kinda, bittersweetly

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? no

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yes

107. Have you ever been on a horse? when i was little

108. What should you be doing? cleaning and going to the gym

109. Is something irritating you right now? not really

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? louis

111. Do you have trust issues? this was already asked

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom?

113. What was your childhood nickname? i didn’t have one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes

115. Do you play the Wii? no

116. Are you listening to music right now? yeah, I’ve been on an Ed Sheeran kick lately

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? when i’m sick

118. Do you like Chinese food? yeah 

119. Favourite book? the Covenant series by Jennifer Armentrout

120. Are you afraid of the dark? i’m afraid of the unknown

121. Are you mean? i can be

122. Is cheating ever okay? idk

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? nope

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? nope

125. Do you believe in true love? i’ll believe it when i see it

126. Are you currently bored? thats why im here

127. What makes you happy? louis

128. Would you change your name? nah

129. What your zodiac sign? libra

130. Do you like subway? yeah man veggie sandwiches are my shit

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? nothing?

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? this was already asked

133. Favourite lyrics right now? I’m in love, so in love

134. Can you count to one million? who the fuck has that much time

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? can’t think of one now

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? open

137. How tall are you? 5′9

138. Curly or Straight hair? is mine or what do i prefer? i like wavy which is also what mine is

139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette

140. Summer or Winter? neither

141. Night or Day? night

142. Favourite month? october

143. Are you a vegetarian? struggling

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? milk

145. Tea or Coffee? coffee

146. Was today a good day? its no over yet

147. Mars or Snickers? neither

148. What’s your favourite quote? idk

149. Do you believe in ghosts? nah

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? Leaves filled the air, and the small group of Shadowhunters choked on dust. (Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare)