#every interaction mattered and matters and kept me going for just a bit longer

[buggyinsect]

Oh hey Tumblr while I'm here, I finally adopted the cat I've waited for after years and years of struggle, her name is Willow💚

The cat distribution system has finally blessed me and (this is what I meant by this account is old af) I am no longer living in an unsafe household and finally have the financial means to live far away with this sweet baby in my cottagecore little apartment. Life is life-ing, still stressful, still financially and environmentally unstable, but still chugging, and I'm so grateful I made it to this point. It gets better, very slowly, but still progress. Thanks to my fucking amazing amazing amazing AMAZING partner @callmebymyjae, I would not be here if it wasn't for them, they genuinely mean the world to me and with Willow, I finally have my own little found family :'))

Fuck I'm not going to cry over a Tumblr post nope

[barcaatthemoon]

at arm's length || leah williamson x reader ||

leah keeps you at arm's length until you potentially find someone else.

"i can't even bare you, just leave me alone." it wasn't the first time that leah had said something like that to you. usually, you would know that it wasn't the last time either. you didn't know what was different about today, but you didn't want to be spoken to like that anymore. if she was going to get to fuck you when she wanted, then she wasn't going to push you away until she decided that she wanted you.

things were becoming more mutual between you. there was a clear build of confidence in you that leah had to have noticed. some of your teammates had commented on your new attitude and all the ways that they liked it. leah had been oddly silent, never giving you more than the occasional insincere compliment.

you needed to find yourself someone new. the only problem was that you had already found someone you liked in leah. sure, she was an ass most of the time, but you really liked her anyway. still, you knew what you needed to take your mind off of leah.

her name was delilah, and you met her at a farmer's market booth. the two of you hit it off immediately. she was everything that you wished leah had been to you. it didn't matter that you weren't feeling the same things for her that she was for you. you told yourself that those feelings were sure to come later. and if you kept her a little closer after seeing leah's reaction to meeting her, that was your little secret.

"this is un-fucking-believable. it's team bonding night, not their fucking date night," leah grumbled into her drink as she watched you and delilah from across the bar. she had been in a shit mood all night, one that katie noticed started immediately once you walked in with delilah's hand in yours.

"come on, (y/n) was excited to have us meet her girlfriend. you'd like her if you went over and talked to her," katie reasoned. leah scowled at the irishwoman. it wasn't katie's place to be reasonable, leah wanted someone to be angry with her. "why are you so upset anyway? didn't you tell (y/n) to get lost last time you guys hooked up?"

"i didn't think she'd run off to the first woman who'd take her," leah said. leah felt a hard smack to the back of her head, one that surprisingly didn't come from katie.

"you were the asshole (y/n) was hooking up with!" beth exclaimed. everybody was a grateful that the bar was loud enough to drown out her outburst. leah moved to place her hand over beth's mouth, but viv beat her to it.

"okay, so no pity party for leah. if anything, you need to apologize before i let go of beth and she kills you," viv said. leah rubbed the back of her head where viv had smacked her and walked over to your table. you had seen a bit of that interaction from the corner of your eye. you weren't proud of it, but you weren't nearly as over as you had hoped. it had been months and while you enjoyed being around delilah, you didn't love her.

"(y/n), can i talk to you outside?" leah asked. you glanced between leah and delilah. if it wasn't for the way that delilah's hand squeezed yours, you would have followed her right outside and probably home.

"not right now, leah," you told her.

"oh, um, okay then…" leah trailed off, unsure of what to do. you had always given her the time of day whenever she asked for it.

…

you had never really thought about what your relationship with leah truly had been. yes, you knew that you slept together, but you had also assumed that you were somewhat friends as well. that was where it had started. you and leah had played alongside each other for far longer than you had slept together. that was why it hurt you so badly whenever she started ignoring you.

you were far too upset worrying about why leah was treating you so badly that you didn't notice that she was icing every else out. in the span of a few months, leah had isolated herself from the rest of the team. even lia and beth were done trying to take leah out of her shitty mood. what none of them knew was that it had begun to damage your relationship with delilah until the girl finally left you.

everybody seemed to notie your demeanor change after the breakup. you began to think that it was your fault. delilah hadn't gotten overly mean with you, but it was obvious that she knew your heart wasn't in the right place. it hurt to be seen like that, and even more so to be called out in the process. it was one thing for her to break up with you and another for her to tell you so plainly that you and leah 'deserved' each other.

"i'm sorry about delilah, but maybe this is a good thing." leah watched you curiously as you took your place a few seats away from her at the bar. katie and lia protectively sat on either side of you, as if they no longer trusted leah around you.

"i just want to have a couple of drinks and go home," you told your friends. lia and katie shared a look behind your back. you had holed yourself up for a week, and both of them knew you as a social butterfly who couldn't sit in at home for more than a couple of days.

"maybe you could find someone new to go home with," katie tried to suggest. you brushed her off and moved away from them as soon as your drink arrived. katie had to go back to caitlin, which left lia as the one to recruit leah to talk some sense into you. nobody really liked the idea, but lia was afraid that it was the only one that would work.

"(y/n) has really been struggling lately. d-do you think that you could talk to her?" lia asked. leah scoffed, as if she couldn't believe that lia was asking her that. leah had realized by now how badly she had fucked things up between the two of you. she liked you, and it scared her, so she pushed you as far away as she could get you. "i am being serious. this is your fault in the first place thinking that you could have things whatever way you wanted them. we want our friends back, so please leah, fix this. i won't ask you nicely again."

"fine," leah grumbled. she downed her drink as she got up and walked over to the booth where you sat away from the rest of the team. "moping around is my job tonight, not yours."

"fuck off williamson," you hissed. leah frowned as she slid into the booth across from you. "what don't you understand about fuck off?"

"i'm sorry for being an ass to you, especially after you started dating delilah. if i'm being honest, i was starting to really like you and it scared me. i didn't want what happened with jordan to happen with you, so i tried to keep you as far away as i thought you'd stay," leah confessed. it was very much what you had been waiting to hear, but you couldn't just take her word for it like that. still, you couldn't just take leah back so easily.

"leah, i can't do all of this right now. i'll call you, and we can talk then. i'm just not doing this tonight," you told her. leah watched you get up and leave, unsure of what to do. all she knew was that lia was glaring daggers at her.

…

leah felt like she wanted to run as she sat on your couch. there was so much that could go wrong. leah didn't know what to do with herself if you didn't want her. the fact that you had let leah in and then practically disappeared made leah's nerves go haywire. she was on the verge of running off when you came out of your kitchen with two mugs of tea.

"thanks," leah said as she took the cup from you. she took a sip as she waited for you to start speaking. in all honesty, you weren't really sure what to say. it was obvious from the fact that leah had come to hear you out that the ball was in your court. this was the time for you to get what you wanted from leah, like she was finally ready to listen to you.

"i tried really hard to move on. i found someone who should have been perfect for me, but i couldn't fall in love with her. all because you're an asshole, and you live rent fucking free in my head. it makes me so angry because i wanted us to be together so badly, but you kept pushing me away. then you tell me that it was all because you were scared. do you know how frustrating it is to know that i still have feelings for you?"

"so, you do still like me?" leah was grasping at the silver lining. you wanted to roll your eyes, thinking that was all she had heard from you. "after all that, you still like me?"

"yes, you idiot. we were sleeping together for almost a year, it's hard not to catch some sort of feeling for you. i won't put myself out there if i don't know that you'll be better. i want more than just sex with you, i want a relationship leah. i can't let you push me away only to pull me back in when i start looking for someone else," you told her.

"i won't push you away again. i'll hold you as close as you let me, and if you fall, i'll go down with you. just please, give me a chance," leah begged you.

"i mean it leah, if you push me away again, you'll lose me," you said sternly. leah nodded and scooted closer towards you. "you don't have to be physically on top of me, you dork."

"let me have this, i've missed you," leah mumbled as she laid herself across your lap. she grabbed onto your hand and kissed your palm before placing it in her hair.

[fanfiction4sooya]

On edge (Sana x Fem! Reader)

Just wanted to try this quick silly writing out and wrote this in a few minutes so... yeah, hope you like it! 💖💖💖

cw: heavy edging, a bit of anguish, thigh slapping, dacryphilia (duh), fingering, squirt drinking, a bit of spit play, lots of praises, recording, corruption kink, not proofread, etc.

Minors and men, do not interact.

"Hold your knees up for me pretty girl" Sana husked, her chocolate eyes dark as you sniffled, tears of agony streaming down your face.

You always wanted her to teach you all the things she could because she is basically a sex goddess, you knew she had a lot to say on the matter, but boy you were in trouble when you found out about edging.

She was holding your orgasm for hours now, the sun was still shining out the hotel window when she started that torture and now you could see the stars whenever you glanced out the window. Not that you had much time for that, since she manipulated your body in such ways you didn't have time to process anything.

You sobbed, body twitching and trembling while your hands held the back of your knees, bringing them up to your chest and holding them slightly apart for her as you found support on the pillows behind you, your wet puffy cunt fully on display much for her liking. She smiled, turning on a small vibrator as you kept crying, your heart thumping inside your chest.

"Mommy" you cried out when she spat on your clit, the smile getting wider as she saw your hole clench, eager to taker her, anything she wanted to give you.

"Jesus darling, you should see this" She grabbed her phone on the night stand, quickly turning the camera on to record how your body reacted to her touches. "Look how pretty you look for me" Her voice sounded lustful, as steady as she could giving the fact that edging you also meant she would hold her orgasm for later since you mattered more on this.

She touched the vibrator to your clit and your small 'aah' made her shiver, her breath hitch. You closed your eyes, hands going from your knees to your pussy lips, spreading them for her, the lustful actions caught on camera. She leaned down to kiss you, kiss your tear stained cheeks, spitting on your tongue an watching you eagerly swallow .

"too good mommy plea-" you closed your knees, covering your face with them and she was quick to slap your thigh as hard as she could, making you wince.

"Don't cover your face again" she sounded harsh. You knew Sana never liked repeating herself and you nodded, puffy eyes and a pout on your pretty lips. "Good girl, baby" She pressed the vibrator back to your pussy, holding it to your slit and your eyes rolled back in your skull.

"Don't cum yet, hold a bit longer princess" She leaned down to kiss you, her tongue roaming inside your mouth in a much needed sloppy kiss, letting her phone fall to the bed.

"Please mommy I can't" you cried out, pulsing so hard that your ears were ringing.

"You can baby, just one more thing and we are done" She whispered against your lips, grabbing the phone back up. "hold it on your clit honey" She said softly and your shaky hands did as she told you, almost unable to do it.

She smiled, dipping one finger in your hole, watching your mouth slightly open. Sana liked it, no, loved how you were ever so gullible, so innocently trying to fit into her little games. She loved that even when every fiber of your being was telling you to run, all you wanted to do was stay; trapped, embraced in her soft words, praises and in that rush of adrenaline she gave you every time the words 'Let's try' left her lips.

She pressed her finger deeper, knuckles deep and your entire body shook, the tears rolling on your cheeks only added fuel to her lust.

"I'm gonna fuck you harder now sweetie, don't let the vibrator go" She commanded and you released a relieved moan, biting hard on your lower lip.

"yes mommy, thank you, t-thank you mo-" You didn't finish the sentence.

You felt two more fingers being added into your soaked slit, the three of them easily fitting. If Sana stopped to think for one little moment she could see you could take her whole fist but that could wait for another opportunity, one thing at a time.

The anguish, that heavy feeling of being forced to hold your orgasm was gone as soon as she sped up pace. The build up was worth it, you couldn't hear anything anymore but you were sure she told you to cum and so you did. Hard.

Harder than you ever did.

You screamed loud enough for the whole floor to hear how good Minatozaki Sana fucked you, doing your best to hold the vibrator against your clit, finally reaching the peak she made you work so hard for. Her fingers kept hitting the same spot over and over, releasing a wave of arousal every time; you managed to open your eyes enough to see her lower her mouth to your pussy while her fingers kept working, sucking your clit and drinking every drop of your squirt she could possibly catch.

Pulling her fingers out she kept grinding her face on the whole length of your soaked pussy. It felt like forever as if that feeling would never die down, as if the roller coaster could only go up.

"mommy" You cried out, feeling your body shutting after a while of her sucking on your clit,cleaning you up.

She promptly got to your side, kissing your lips and hugging you close. You couldn't feel much but the stream of tears rolling down your cheeks was warm and she kept rubbing her thumb on your cheek to catch every single one of them, hushing you and swaying you in her arms.

"Shh, it's okay" Her strong arms pulled you onto her, her sweaty body warm against yours. "You did so good baby, it's okay" As she kissed your forehead you felt your eyes heavy. "Thank you for your patience, darling" She kissed your lips and you smiled, really proud of yourself.

"did I really do a good job?" you closed your eyes, drifting off to sleep as your body trembled ever so slightly.

Sana nuzzled her nose against yours, watching your sleepy form.

"So good that you deserve an award..." She whispered against your lips. "...but that can wait until you wake up" She proudly said, holding you harder until you fully rest in her arms.

[kingofbodyrolls]

End of the World (m) | myg | teaser

→ Summary: Your government has been telling you to prepare for war, just as a precaution given the recent political changes around your country. Did you listen and prepare? No. Are you paying the price now, friends all but gone, and your city burned to pieces? Yes. Survival instincts kicking in, you search for a place to rest, nourish your battered and hungry body, only to find yourself at the porch of a stranger. Will he help you, or leave you to your own demise?  → Pairing: Yoongi x reader (female) → Genres/AUs: science fiction, apocalyptic, survival, co-dependency to stay alive + heavy angst, fluff and smut. → Tropes: strangers to lovers, forced proximity (because love that shit) → Rating: mature/explicit/R18 (this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact.) → Word count: still writing (approx 10-20k) it’s a one-shot! → Author’s note: hiya. I’m currently writing this apocalyptic story with Yoongi, because… well. I’m fucking scared. So this is me working through and with my fear for something that I’m afraid is actually going to happen. We don’t need to talk about it, because a lot of bad shit is happening all over the world 😭 This is purely a story, though made up by my fears, yeah. Anyway, it’s okay if you’re not into it! The vibe for it is like The Last of Us and maybe a bit Fallout, I think if you enjoy that type of stuff, you’ll enjoy this one too. But it’s really heavy, but there’s a decent amount of fluff to balance it out, because, it’s still a fanfiction and it wouldn’t be that without some good old fluff and smut 🥰

You know you must move, but before you leave, there’s a promise to fulfill for Yuri.

You relieve yourself and step back onto the road, eyes fixed on the distant horizon that seems miraculously untouched by the ravages of war. That glimmer of hope pulls you forward. You have to reach it. No matter the distance, no matter the obstacles, you must get there. 

It’s your only chance.

You walk and walk—days blur into weeks. Your clothes hang off your frame, tattered and too big. Bombings have become a constant backdrop, each explosion a distant rumble you barely acknowledge. The earth’s violent shudders no longer faze you. Hunger gnaws at you, a relentless companion, its grip tightening until you can’t even remember your last meal. Water, your only steadfast ally, has kept you moving; without it, you’d have long since fallen.

You trudge along the desolate highway, the city a distant speck on the horizon behind you. You have no sense of how far you’ve traveled, only that the remnants of your home have shrunk to a mere dot in your vision. The road stretches endlessly ahead, a bleak reminder of the ground yet to cover.

Dizziness is your constant companion now, your throat as parched as the Sahara despite your efforts to hydrate. Water is scarce, and you’ve been rationing it for days. Hope feels like a distant memory, and though the elusive horizon you’ve been chasing for weeks appears closer, it still seems maddeningly out of reach.

Your body feels like lead, your feet swollen and throbbing with every step. 

Sleep is a distant memory, haunted away by visions of blood-streaked faces, final breaths, and echoing cries. Bloodshot eyes and a disheveled appearance mark your struggle; you’re still in your tattered nightdress, stained with blood and reeking of fear and sweat. 

No food, no shower, just the relentless march through this wasteland.

You’ve lost track of time—is it still September? 

The biting cold cuts through you, your torn and ruined shoes barely offering any protection. You trudge onward, desperate to find shelter, weary of hiding in the bushes from strangers who might wish you harm. Paranoia grips you; every rustle in the distance, every shadow makes you jump. Trust is a luxury you can’t afford. You feel like you’re unraveling, teetering on the edge of sanity.

When your eyes land on a solitary house down a side street off the main road, you can hardly believe it. You’re nowhere near your end goal, the neighboring city, yet here it is—a lonesome house in the middle of fucking nowhere. You chuckle, convinced you’ve lost your mind. Why would there be a house out here, untouched by the chaos? You blink repeatedly, but the house remains. Your feet carry you forward, despite your spinning head and the jumbled mess of thoughts in your mind.

The house, partially concealed by tall trees and lush bushes miraculously untouched by the war, seems like a relic from a forgotten world. An old jeep, battered but intact, sits beside the porch with its white picket fence. You approach cautiously, every step feeling surreal, and lift your hand to knock. Your bloody knuckles leave crimson smears on the pristine white door, a stark reminder of the nightmare you can’t escape.

You lose track of time standing there, every second stretching into an eternity, before the door is abruptly ripped open. You find yourself staring down the barrel of a rifle.

“Who are you?” a male voice demands, harsh and suspicious, but the words barely register. Your vision blurs, darkness encroaching, and the last thing you feel is the hard impact of the porch floorboards against your head as you collapse.

→ Do you want to join Yoongi on a quest for survival as the world crumbles around you? Let me know and I’ll tag you when it drops 💜

Also please let me know if you’re interested, excited about it— otherwise I’m probably just gonna post it on my ao3 only, lol. I’m scared 🫣

Read the second teaser + book cover [here]!

It's been posted!!!!

[xxresi-rotxx]

Harsher ending- pt 2

I did not get a chance to proof read this as I realized the weekend is ending in one hour 😭 I wanted to write the whole thing in one go but had a rough day and this was all I could muster posting ❤️

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ever since Leon's little outburst, you were barely keeping it together. There were so many emotions swirling around your head it was hard to make sense of them. However, the most recent emotion was anger and it lingered with you longer than the rest.

Who the fuck made Leon Kennedy so high and mighty?

You were sure you were giving Leon the ugliest of looks everytime we glanced back at you & Luis.

Him and Ashley were walking about 10 feet ahead of you and Luis, and he kept glancing back at you every five minutes.

Was he truly that convinced you couldn't handle yourself?

It wasn't until Luis said your name for a second time that you realized you had zoned out again.

"He really got under your skin, eh Señorita?"

You finally tore your eyes away from Leon long enough to glance at the man next you, who was grinning like the Chesire cat.

"I just don't understand-"

"What gives him the right. I know, I know mi amor we've been over this." Luis finished for you.

You felt kind of bad, realizing you had been bothering Luis with it for the past hour. You turned your attention on your feet now; watching them as they trudged through the mud.

"I think he's just concerned for you mi amor." Luis nudged his shoulder into yours, easing the tension.

"Yeah, well he has a funny way of showing it if that's the case."

Luis had been calling you 'Mi Amor' ever since you saved his life, and honestly? You didn't mind it.

"The way I see it," Luis began, "he's kind of like a calabaza."

You just stared at Luis, waiting for him to continue.

"I don't remember my high school Spanish Luis." You teased when you realized he wasn't going to elaborate.

"A calabaza is a pumpkin mi amor."

A pumpkin?

"You lost me Luis."

Luis rolled his eyes at you, scoffing a little to emphasize what a hassle it was for to him to explain it to you.

"Hard skin, soft inside."

You let out a harsh laugh but quickly covered your mouth. You were sure Luis was trying to make a point, but it sounded ridiculous to you.

"Kind of nasty Luis." You nudged him with your shoulder this time.

"You get the point Señorita."

Was Leon genuinely concerned for you? Ever the optimist, you wanted so badly to believe Luis, but you just...didn't.

You'd been gripping the pistol Leon shoved at you so hard your knuckles were turning white. Almost as if you were trying to take your anger out on the gun.

Meanwhile, Leon hadn't stopped dwelling on the interaction ever since it happened. Replaying it over and over in his mind. He couldn't help but keep glancing back at you.

You hadn't said a single word to him in almost a day, avoiding him at all costs; and that bothered him.

The sooner he was out of his hellscape, the sooner he could actually speak to you without fear of your impending death, the better.

Every now and then he would hear Luis call you his love and it irritated the hell out of him. It irritated him just as much that you went along with it.

"MI AMOR," Luis's shouts had Leon turning on a dime, "WAIT!"

He turned just in time to see Luis run off the muddy path and straight towards your sprinting figure.

"Ashley." Leon said locking eyes with the blonde.

She understood immediately, moving to hide out of sight as Leon took off.

Why the fuck would you run away?

Leon caught up to Luis in a matter of minutes. You, however, were no where in sight.

"What the fuck happened Luis?!" Leon bit out, unstrapping his knife from its sheath.

"Are you infected?" Luis asked you, panic in his voice.

"No." Leon answered, the gears already turning in his head. "Y/n?" he asked.

"I saw the veins." Luis responded, out of breath. "My old lab could remove the parasite from her though, she didn't have to run."

"Go back and watch over Ashley, I'll find Y/n."

The tone of Leon's voice told Luis there would be no arguing this, so he did as he was told.

Leon wasn't sure whether he was more concerned for your health right now or pissed that you thought running was the best option.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Smut in part 3😘

[reysdriver]

Behind The Venue | J.P.

(part 1 to this fic) you discover rockstar!james is cheating on you through a fan's social media post — modern!rockstar!james x fem!reader angst

warnings: james being a cheater

words: 1k

warnings: umm just to let y'all know, a lot of my writing is gonna be angst for the time being cus i'm going through a breakup lol and also let me know if you want me to write a part 2 to this cus i can defo see it already

James was currently on tour with the boys; last night was Berlin, tonight was Vienna. Although you both wished you could join them as they visited almost every European capital, you couldn’t leave everything for two months. 

Well, you could. James had made it clear you didn’t need to work, that he would buy you anything you ever needed or wanted, but you didn’t want to be completely dependent on him. So while he travelled all around the continent, you stayed home to wait tables and keep your flat warm. 

But it wasn’t like you were completely away from your boyfriend for the whole time; you called each other every night—even the ones where the boys got blackout drunk in foreign hotels, and you constantly stayed updated on everything regarding the band. 

The little bits of connection were how you found yourself on Austrian social media scouring the hashtags related to The Marauders. You scrolled through selfies of fans in front of the empty stage, waiting for the boys to start. Some people brought posters and gifts for them, which always made you smile. Some of the fans even mentioned you in their posts and you commented on a few of them, wishing them a fun time at the concert. 

Then, you sent James a good luck text and went to make yourself dinner. You’ve learned that the best concert pictures and videos get posted a day or two after they’re taken, so you know you don’t need to stay online all night. Instead, you take your food to the couch and put on a movie while the concert hall in Vienna was electric with excitement. 

Near the end of the second movie of the night, you almost fell asleep in your living room, but your heavy eyelids shot up at the feeling of your phone buzzing shamelessly against your thigh. 

It had been going off periodically before, but the notifications increased exponentially in the last few minutes. 

Although you were half-asleep, you couldn’t just let your phone explode with activity. Scary thoughts that something happened to James at the concert overtook your mind and you quickly reached for your phone while attempting to hope for the best. 

It was about James, just not what you were expecting. Someone had caught a video of your boyfriend making out with Lily Evans, the lead singer of their opening band, outside behind the venue. 

The clip was short but inarguable. That was obviously James and Lily, and there was no debate on what they were doing. 

It showed them quickly, then the teenage girl who took the video flipped the camera to herself and said something in German. The only thing you could understand was your own name, and you weren’t sure you wanted to know what the rest meant. 

The video was just posted, but it was already spreading. There were so many comments and reposts; everyone seemed to have something to say on the matter. 

It ranged from ‘you should take this down, imagine how humiliating it is for (y/n)’ to ‘I mean, we’ve known this was coming lol look at their constant flirting’, and you weren’t sure what hurt more. 

And even though every single take felt like a slap in the face, you kept scrolling through them all. You were careful not to interact with any of them so as to not encourage drama, but it seemed like the fans were doing fine on their own when it came to stirring the pot. Eventually, it just became all too much. You took a screenshot of one post and sent it to James. 

But despite that, you weren’t staying up any longer. You shut off your phone, plugged it in across the room, and started getting ready for bed. You didn’t care if the only other thing to do was cry yourself to sleep, you weren’t spending any more time watching your boyfriend kiss his coworker. 

✦✧✦✧✦

The night barely consisted of sleep. There were periods where you calmed down enough to sleep, but you woke up several times in a pool of emotions. You managed to stay asleep for long enough that you’d be adequately rested, and that was good enough for you. 

When you opened your phone in the morning, you were sure that any limits to messages and mentions must have been hit. So not in the mood to hear anyone else’s opinions on your relationship, you didn’t even bother opening social media. 

You saw that James had sent a string of texts and tried calling you several times, and your heart ached. He was the only person who you would listen to about this, but you didn’t want to hear anything he had to say. What could he say over the phone to fix this? 

Then, as if on cue, your phone vibrated with an incoming call from him. 

You were torn on what you should do. Answer and listen to him begging for forgiveness, decline and ignore everyone? If you answered and he asked for mercy, would you forgive him? You even thought about airing out all his secrets online in a petty act of revenge. But none of those really seemed like something you would want. In this fragile state, you wondered if anything could help. 

Then your attention snapped back to the picture of him on your screen, letting you know he wanted to talk. 

Compromising between all the ideas that had just been running through your head, you declined the call and opened your messages. ‘come back home and we’ll talk.’ was all you sent James before tossing your phone aside.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

If you don't mind yandere Vito alphabet please 🙏

A/N: This isn’t the full Alphabet but here’s a little teaser. Doing the full Alphabet in one go is difficult but if there’s a specific one you want let me know😭😭

Warnings: toxic and abusive behavior

Requests: open 24/7

Masterlist

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Every single person from the mafia Trilogy is willing to get their hands dirty. This is absolutely ridiculous to even consider.

Like if Vito killed for not only his country but for some random dude named Falcone, don’t you think he’d kill for you? His precious heart. I think he’d be more brutal than the rest tho….our soldier boy definitely knows a gnarly way to take someone out.

He refuses to do this in front of you though. He doesn’t believe a pretty lady like you should ever taint your eyes with seeing him slit that dude’s throat. That’s for him to handle downtown while you stay all cozy locked away in his apartment.

Probably will beat up a guy in front of you though but first he’d tell you to close your eyes or to go get in the car.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

I don’t think Vito wants children and all that yip yap like the Salieri men want.

Marriage is on the table tho.

Ultimately he wants to play the game a little longer so he’ll have more than enough money to take you out of Empire Bay and give you a better life. He wants a beautiful home in someplace nice quiet where there’s no chance of running into another mobster.

He’s going to give you everything that he couldn’t give to his mother before her passing. You’re going to have a beautiful life, even if you don’t actually want it with him. You have no choice. Vito hand picked you to be his companion. You should be grateful

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He definitely does get very jealous, it’s just not always easy to tell. He keeps the same resting bitch face at every occasion, so is he actually upset or is there no thought happening?

There are thoughts and it’s about which way he should dispose of the body.

I’d argue and say he gets more up in arms about you looking at someone or interacting with another man than the reverse happening. You’re attractive and he knows men look at you, doesn’t mean he’s okay with it but for you to look sends him in a spiral. Yeah it doesn’t matter that you just glanced in his general direction and you weren’t even looking at him….he’s pissed.

“Aye! What the fuck are you looking at, princess? Huh? You think he’s cute or something? Well let me tell you a cute little secret, you’ll be cleaning his blood off of my shoes tonight.”

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not exactly? He is Vito no matter what but maybe with you his heart is worn on his sleeves a little bit more? Like he grew up around a mama's boy he undeniably has a soft spot for the women he loves. You can get away with a hell of a lot.

More than most can with him. Your snarky comments and fighting doesn’t phase him. Neither does your immature and other kinds of behavior.

He still wants to spoil and take care of you the best way he possibly can. He especially loves physical contact with you. The times when you’ve yourself worn down enough to curl into his chest are his favorite times.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He’s actually incredibly patient with you. Vito is rather patient in general, well compared to how he could be. His emotions are usually kept well under wraps and he does fair with stressful situations. This was something learned from being in the military. When you have other men's lives on the line, you learn to keep it light.

There are sometimes where this patience wavers and it’s usually during the times when you’re being incredibly difficult.

Having another meltdown after trying to escape for the fourth time this week. This man is becoming increasingly more frustrated and he couldn’t help but to snap at you.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Hell naw! That man don’t give a single fuck.

Why would he? He’s delusional about this entire situation, there is no rational thought happening!!!

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

The screaming and crying he expected. That’s all his sister did growing up lol. Jk.

The isolation tho,,,that would get to him. When he comes home from a long day, ideally he wants to be greeted with open arms and loving words. Not to be searching the house, only find you curled up in the closet.

This shatters his delusion for the moment and Vito absolutely hates it. Seeing you waste away in this isolation kills him. He has to literally drag you out and force you to do basic tasks. Why can’t you just love him like he loves you??? You can’t even just pretend? Why is this so hard for you?

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling?

He thinks of you like this pure little angel who could do no wrong. You’re absolutely innocent to him, even when you’re guilty.

You could spit on the mayor and he’d defend you to hell and back.

Very old fashioned in his thinking where he doesn’t believe women should do or be around certain things. He keeps his business very private, doesn’t share anything about the military unless it’s a lighthearted story, doesn’t kill or be overly violent in front of you.

He also even tries to not curse or smoke so much in front of you too but…he can’t help it.

With this said tho, Vito has limits and he will flip if you ever cross a line. He has some unspoken rules for your “relationship” and it can get rather complicated if you break them.

[affectionatecorpse]

Okay as a distraction from my previous post, I'm going to do another analysis. Yay! This time we'll be covering another video game, but this isn't actually a horror like the previous posts, so untense your shoulders. Today I'm going to be talking about Yinu, from No Straight Roads, from the perspective of an ex child prodigy.

No Straight Roads is a vastly underrated game, so I'll give a brief introduction. The game focuses on protagonists Mayday and Zuke, two members of a rock band who go on a mission to take down their oppressive EDM based government, NSR, and reintroduce rock to the city. The plot sounds simple enough, but the layers go incredibly deep, so I highly recommend playing/watching the game for yourself to form your own thoughts about it's complex messages. Obviously, spoilers ahead.

Now NSR is made up of 6 EDM artists who power the city. But one particular artist greatly stands out from the rest. This artist is Yinu.

Yinu is by far the youngest of the artists, for starters, at only 9 years old. She's a child prodigy, and at this young age, she's already won many awards for her music and gained a massive following. But unlike the other artists, Yinu isn't actually an EDM artist. She's a classical artist, who's skills are in piano. Now this usually wouldn't matter, but when she's one of the EDM based leaders, it's immediately a bit odd how she herself isn't an EDM artist.

We'll come back to this. Now, Yinu, as mentioned, is a child prodigy. She was taught from a young age to play piano by her father, and quickly mastered the art. But when her father grew ill and passed away, it was just her and her mother left, with Yinu inheriting his beloved piano. As she continued to play in his honour, her skill began to grow, and so did the attention she received. She quickly became a celebrity, and her mother used this as a distraction from their shared sadness.

By feeding the fans and the attention, Yinu's mother developed an unhealthy coping mechanism. She began to lose sight of what the piano meant to them. And I expect, so did Yinu. It's a very common thing, when your hobby becomes a job, it just loses it's fun, and is no longer a luxury to do. More a necessity. It's never said explicitly, but I interpreted this phenomenon to have a strong effect. Yinu played because it was a job, and what her mother wanted. Her mother became blind to her daughter's struggles, as she never really noticed the fact Yinu didn't want to play for other people, but for herself, and her father's memory. This is shown through her eyes becoming white and cloudy during the battle, while Yinu's stay the same.

I may be projecting. I was actually a child prodigy myself. I had a knack for my writing, and it was my greatest passion. My interactive imagination kept me distracted from the war my parents were fighting against each other. As a kid, I was never really their child. I was a weapon. A way for them to get at each other. I'd trail between houses, passing on messages and information they could use to slander one another, and I was rewarded for doing so by being shoved out the way and left to do what I wanted, while they paid no attention.

I used my imagination, my worlds, my characters, to escape my reality. To keep me company in my depressing solitude. To avoid forgetting them, I began to write them down. This was what got me the attention I so desperately craved. By 10 years old, only a year older than Yinu, I had published my first book in my local town. Finally, my parents were proud of me, so I kept going. I wrote until my hands were sore and fragile with blisters. I wrote until every page of my notebook was fuzzy from correcting my spellings.

It wasn't an escape anymore. It was a necessity. Something I had to do in order to be recognised. It wasn't fun anymore. It was no longer a way out.

As I got older, I began to matter less. I wasn't a smart child anymore. I was just a Person. I wasn't Somebody, I was just... Anybody. I found my parents stopped caring when I lost that spark again, and this time, I didn't get attention when I tried fixing that.

I see my own struggles in Yinu. The song she plays starts simple, and slow. Relaxed and full of passion. She finds herself completely in her element. But when her mother gets involved, her playing becomes more desperate. It gets faster and more tense, as her mother doesn't even consider putting her aside. A parent's normal reaction to her child being physically attacked by two adults would be to take the child away from the situation and make sure they're okay, but Yinu's mother just lifts her up, and tells her to keep playing.

Yinu obliges, and plays more determined than before, like she's terrified of letting her mother down. She constantly assures herself under her breath, and repeatedly mutters reminders to herself to keep her fingers curved as she focuses. In the next phase, Yinu and her mother have been repeatedly hit and injured, yet her mother still doesn't remove Yinu from the situation. Instead of being mad at the attackers for hurting her daughter, she yells at them for ruining her performance, as if that's the more important thing here. She destroys the walls around them, outraged, and orders Yinu to play even harder.

The song gets incredibly intense here, and it's here that you notice the piano fading out. At the start of the song, it was purely piano playing. But by this time, the piano is playing alongside EDM music, at just around the same volume. In the next phase, Yinu is knocked to the ground from a great height, and calls to her mother to catch her. But... she doesn't. She isn't caught, and alongside her piano, she crashes to the ground. Her mother doesn't even notice she's fallen and is hurt. She just completely ignores Yinu's cries, and focuses entirely on the destruction of the concert.

The song is almost completely EDM now. Yinu is out of frame, and it's the mother you're battling at the end. And even as Yinu sits alone on the ground, without looking at her at all, her mother just tells her not to stop playing no matter what. But despite Yinu's continued efforts, the piano barely shines through the techno anymore.

I should also mention the visuals. At the start of the fight, Yinu's mother was completely out of sight. Then, she poked her arm out of the curtain at the back of the stage to lift Yinu's piano out of range, but she remained out of sight. The curtain then gets moved, and she is now fully visible, but still further back in the dark than Yinu. After she rages and destroys the hall, she is very clear and visible, taking up a lot of the battlefield while Yinu is mostly out of frame of the camera. In the final phase, Yinu is no longer there, and her mother has completely taken over the battlefield.

First phase

Final phase

After defeating Yinu's mother, Mayday and Zuke prepare to celebrate their victory. But... they're interrupted. By Yinu, the one everyone involved forgot was part of this battle. She knocks the two off the giant rose they were standing on, and also probably their high horse. She's muddy, injured, roughed up, and still, her mother never asks her if she's okay. She doesn't even praise her for knocking them down by herself. She goes to nearly acknowledge it, saying "Yinu, my dear, you got them!", but that isn't actually praise. It's a mere acknowledgement, which she thinks is enough. And after saying that, she once again orders Yinu to play for her.

To which Yinu completely breaks. She finally loses her patience and just snaps, screaming that she hates them all, while slamming the piano keys in a burst of anger to triple the speed of before. But her outrage is still in beat. She still plays her song for her mother.

When our main characters get back up to her, and recklessly knock down the rose, Yinu plummets near to her death. She clings desperately to her piano, the one thing she has left of her father, but ultimately cannot hang on, and while she's protected from the fall by her mother, the piano is not, smashing into pieces as it hits the ground. And while she solemnly mourns this valuable part of who she is as a person, her mother STILL doesn't acknowledge it. She moves past Yinu and goes straight to yelling at Mayday and Zuke again, ready for another round of fighting without even checking on her daughter.

But Yinu stays strong. For herself, for her father, and for her mother. She feels she's the only one who can. And even when her piano is in pieces, her concert hall is destroyed, her appearance is tattered, and her injuries are stinging, she plays on. She just sits there. And keeps playing the song. Slow, and sad, like she's completely burnt out. But feels she's not allowed to quit, or she'll be letting her mother down.

This is when we cut back to the EDM detail. Because Yinu is not an EDM artist. The EDM, the unbearable fame, the place in government... it's all her mother. The EDM starts when her mother joins, and completely takes over when Yinu is no longer part of the battle. Only at the end does the piano come back, as Yinu steals back her own song from her mother's hands, and plays her classical music her style, with the Rock/EDM metre spiralling out of control, as the music now is neither of those genres. It is 100%, completely authentic, Yinu.

Holy shit. This whole sequence hits hard. From the desperate attempts to please her mother, putting up with the demands to keep playing no matter how hurt or stressed she is, only to break down and immediately get punished for it, and sadly go back to what she was doing before, because her rebellion resulted in her most treasured possession getting destroyed? Yinu is an incredibly tragic character. No child should have to put up with the grief, the pressure, the stress, and the burnout that she feels.

The activity that bonded her and her late father ended up being what ultimately hurts her, all because her mother couldn't process her own grief in her own way, and put her daughter at major risk because it stopped the hurting, instead of actually sitting down and talking with Yinu about the mourning and pain they both feel in their hearts.

I wish I'd had exactly what I want for Yinu. I wish my parents had talked to me about their separation. I wish they had figured out their issues and stopped feeling so angry at each other all the time, so they could live their separate lives in peace. I wish they had kept me out of their hatred for one another. I wish they had treated me like their child. I wish they'd loved me more than they hated each other. But they didn't. And I ended up alone, sadly writing this post, in the same way Yinu ended up sadly playing what's left of her piano in the ruins of her once polished, sparkling concert hall.

https://youtu.be/s1BEh5gZ90k?feature=shared

Here's a link to the song Yinu plays throughout the battle. Take a listen for yourself, and you'll see what I mean by the intensity growing, as the EDM takes over the classical more and more.

[measuredingold]

to be in love and to be loved

chapter four: all i need

authors note: ...guess who finally came out of retirement ! the spark ( sort of ) has come back and i was finally able to finish this chapter. a loooong time coming. i'm happy to finally get something out, but i'm a bit bummed by this chapter because i don't think it's my best - however, i'm already working on chapter five and i'm very happy with it so far so... get ready for that :) another chapter in naomi's pov, and it's a doozy so hopefully that makes up for the time away ! as always please enjoy and feedback is appreciated !

pairing: noah sebastian x ofc x nicholas ruffilo

masterlist / cross-posted on ao3

word count: 10.2k

cw: ~kissing~, angst, suggestive content, feelings definitely being realized, alcohol, 18+ (minors do not interact.)

Naomi tries to go on like nothing happened that night on FaceTime. She kept her feelings and whatever she realized tucked deeply inside of her, putting on her best smile when the boys came home. They ended up not getting matching tattoos this time around. Whenever Nicholas wasn’t tattooing, and when Noah wasn’t doing something for the band, all three of them spent as much time together as they could.

It slipped their minds, which she was grateful for, because it made her focus on other things and not… that. It was pretty easy to forget about for the most part, just being happy that they were home for the first time in months. It felt like they had been gone longer than three months, and the weight that had been on her shoulders was lifted the very moment they stepped foot into Richmond.

That feeling, the realization, didn’t come back until the first night alone in her apartment. Noah had left two weeks ago, and Nicholas had left earlier that morning, and she felt… empty. Like something was missing – someone was missing. Her feelings consumed her then, so much so that she felt like she couldn’t breathe, eyes prickling with tears because how the hell did she get herself into this?

She feels guilty, keeping this from them but also knowing that she can never say anything. How the hell do you tell your boyfriend that you’re in love with him and your guys’ best friend? This isn’t some fairytale where every ending is a happy one, this is the real world, and the real world always has its consequences.

A part of her is glad that the boys have been busy the last week and a half, their talks being limited to maybe an hour every few days, and texts sent at the most random times. It's given her time to sit with herself and think, and then eventually bring in reinforcements. Someone she's known longer than Noah and Nicholas, someone who she can trust without a second thought. 

"Jesus, Mimi." Analise breathes out, and Naomi can already see the crease in her forehead. She sighs.

"I know."

There's a silence that follows that makes her feel uneasy. Analise has always been able to tell her how it is, never having trouble voicing her opinions and calling Naomi out on her shit. This time though... She feels like she's finally stunned the other girl into silence for the first time in her life.

"Does anyone else know?" 

"Lis," Naomi sighs again. "The only other people I'd tell would be Noah and Nicky... and I obviously can't fucking do that."

Analise laughs. "If it weren't for me, you'd go to the grave with this, huh?"

"Oh, for fucking sure." She tries to laugh but it fails, and she lets out another deep, aggravated sigh. She brings her hands up to dig her heels into her eyes, a headache already beginning to start at the back of her head. "What the hell do I do, Lissy?"

A beat passes. "Do you want my honest opinion?"

"Well, I didn't invite you over just to bullshit me."

"Girl, I have never bullshitted you once throughout our entire friendship."

"Exactly, and that's why I go to you for these types of things. You always tell me how it is." 

"And I always will.” Analise says matter of factly before her words are followed by a sigh. Naomi can see that fucking crease again. "Anyone under the fucking sun can see how much love you have for Noah. I don't think I've ever seen you love someone so hard before."

"I don't think I've ever loved someone like I do him." Naomi replies easily, without much thought. She knew it was true.

"Right," Analise starts before narrowing her gaze at Mimi, her full lips tugging down ever so slightly. "However, I'm not dumb."

Mimi raises a brow. "Huh?"

"Listen," Analise leans back against the couch, holding her hands up almost defensively. "I'm not sure if anything ever happened between you and Nick before you got with Noah, but I wouldn't be surprised. Your chemistry with each other is insane." Her gaze softens now. "And I can tell you care about him a lot, more than a friend should. I think you always have."

Naomi's cheeks flush at Analise's words and she bites down on her bottom lip, chewing on it nervously. Was it so obvious? She didn't think so, but Analise has never lied to her. Not once. 

"...What if I told you something almost happened?" 

"I'd call you a bitch - lovingly - for not telling me sooner," Analise says without hesitation. "And then I'd ask for you to elaborate on what you mean by almost."

"Almost as in," She drags her words, pulling her legs up onto the couch, "When he tattooed me for the first time, we were talking, and got pretty close. I wanted to kiss him and... and I think he wanted to kiss me, but then we didn't. He mentioned Noah and it kinda... ruined the moment."

Analise stares at her for a beat longer than needed before speaking up, "Did it ruin the moment because you knew that you liked Noah at the time, or did you think there was something going on between Noah and Nick?"

Naomi's eyes widen and Analise waves her off, scoffing softly.

"Girl. Don't give me that look. You know it's true." The girl sighs, as if this is the most taxing thing she's ever had to deal with and leans forward. "I've seen the way Nicholas looks at you… and the way he looks at Noah.” Analise gives her a smile, full lips stretched into a smile. "He's got it bad for the both of you."

"You're just making that up."

"I'm not making shit up. You," Analise points a finger at her and Mimi scoffs, turning her head the other way, "are just in denial at the fact Nicholas is in love with the both of you.”

"No, I'm not."

"Okay. Look me in the eyes and tell me you had no fucking idea Nicholas looks at both you and Noah like you two hung up the fucking stars."

Naomi's mouth opens to argue because that's just ridiculous, he doesn't do that, but nothing comes out. Not even a noise. Her brain then starts to finally catch up and thoughts of Nicholas invade her mind. Her throat tightens, skin heating up and feeling almost clammy, as the realization finally dawns on her. It's as if she's finally waking up after years of sleep, like she's opened her eyes and finally saw what was right in front of her the entire fucking time. 

Nicholas wasn't just in love with her, or with Noah... it was the both of them. 

"Oh my god." Was all she was able to get out, brown eyes widening as she finally looked back at Analise. 

Her friend's face softened, lips pressing together to try and suppress her own frown. "It's so obvious, Mimi."

"Yeah, I fucking know that now." She groans, leaning her elbows against the tops of her thighs, hands rubbing along her face. "Oh my god."

The tightening in her throat doesn't let up and there's a burning feeling behind her eyes, the tears threatening to push through. Her heart pounds against her chest, ringing through her ears. How did she not notice? 

The way he reacted to them being together, the way he's been acting ever since... It all makes fucking sense. She - they - are the reason behind Nicholas' continued sadness, the reason why he's been pulling away these last few months. The reason why he needed to suck it up and get over it. Her stomach turns in a way she fucking hates, the nausea coming back as it settles somewhere deep inside the pit of her stomach. 

How did she not fucking notice?

With tears stinging at her eyes, she finally looks up to find Analise staring at her, expression pained.

"What do I do?" She breathes out. 

"Well... what do you think you should do?" 

"I..." With a frustrated sigh she slumps her body back against the couch, hands coming up to rub at her face as the first tears fell. "I don't know."

She probably sounded pitiful, because that's exactly how she felt. What could she even do? It's not like she could call up Nicholas right now and tell him how she felt, how she knew, because there's a whole other person involved. She whines pathetically at the thought of her boyfriend. Yeah, maybe she and Nicholas had feelings for one another and Noah, but what about him?

She feels the couch beside her dip and her stomach turns at the thought of Noah. How would he feel about all of this? There's no telling how he'd react, finding out she was in love with their best friend and him, and said best friend was also in love with her and him. Does he even feel the same?

Her head pounds, a headache coming on immediately, and she curls herself into her friend's arms as she finally lets more tears fall.

"You need to tell them."

Analise's voice broke her out of her thoughts, and she shudders, head shaking against the girl's shoulder.

"I can't."

"Yes, you can." Analise pulls her back, hands coming up to cup her face to force Naomi to stare at her. "You need to tell them, Mimi."

She knows she should. She fucking knows that she should tell both Noah and Nicholas right now that she loves them so much that it makes her sick, makes her stomach twist and turn at the thought of ever being without either of them. A life without the two of them is a life she never wants to endure and... and she thinks that is what's stopping her. She would never be able to live with herself if this is what breaks them, if this is what pushes Noah from them.

She shakes her head in Analise's hold, "No. I can't."

Analise's hands drop from her face, lips pursed. "You're sostubborn sometimes, I can't stand it."

"You don't understand." She wipes at her face to rid herself of the tears that seem to still fall, tucking a few loose curls behind her ears. "This isn't me being stubborn, this is... I can't lose them. Sure, what if me and Nicholas feel the same? What about Noah? There's no telling how he even feels, if he'd even be okay with this." Naomi doesn't miss the way her voice wavers and she feels her bottom lip tremble, a fresh set of tears falling. "Lis, you know I can't fucking lose him."

"I know. I know, okay?" Analise gathers her in her arms again and she falls into it gratefully, face pressing against her shoulder. "I've never dealt with something like this, so I'm sure it's scary, right? The not knowing." Naomi feels her friend smooth down her hair, hugging her closer as she sighed out, "But I still think you need to tell them eventually. They deserve to know - especially Nick. I can't even imagine how he feels."

That makes Naomi's heart break in a whole new way, the realization of Nicholas having to deal with this on his own. Having to watch the two people he loves be together right in front of him and having to keep the way he feels hidden to keep things as normal as possible... because she knows he'd rather hurt himself by keeping them close than losing them for good. She chokes out a sob and Analise holds her closer, hands rubbing up and down her back to soothe her. 

"I can't." She rasps out after a few minutes, calming down slightly but the tears still burning her eyes. She pulls back to look at Analise, head shaking. "At least not yet. I just - I can't."

Analise stares at her, hard, lips pressing together before sighing in defeat. A weight on Naomi's shoulders lifts, knowing that her friend won't press her anymore on this. She pulls away, hands sliding from Naomi's back to her arms, rubbing them soothingly.

"God, you’re so... fucking stubborn and really annoying sometimes," Analise grumbles, but there's no malice in her voice, "but I'm also going to be here for you every step of the way. Even if I'm not happy about it."

For some reason this makes Naomi laugh, a bit wet and rough, but she feels more at ease. Her shoulders finally relax.

"Thank you." She mumbles, reaching up to wipe at her face, and she sucks in a deep breath. "I just need to think about it, okay? I know it's not fair to Nicky, I know, but I can't..." Her voice trails off, that same heavy weight against her chest returning. "I don't know how to fucking do it, so I need to weigh out my options, you know?"

"I know." Analise's voice is so soft, so gentle, and Naomi has to try and will away the remaining tears that threaten to fall. "I'm here, okay? I'm on your side. Don't forget that."

Naomi doesn't respond, instead gives her friend a tight smile before leaning back into her embrace. She sucks in another deep breath and buries her face against Analise's shoulder, letting her eyes slip shut.

How did everything get so complicated?

...

"Hey," She tries to keep her voice even, lips pressing together to suppress her smile. "What're you doing on the 17th?"

Noah caught her gaze through the screen, brows furrowing at her question. "Uh... probably practicing. Why?"

"Oh, nothing." She averts her gaze from the screen as her shoulders go up into a nonchalant shrug, the struggle to keep the smile off her face growing harder each second. "Just wanted to know if you were free and wanted to pick me up from the airport at… eight that night."

She looks back at Noah now, full lips pulled into a grin, and he blinks. Naomi can see the wheels in his head slowly turning, trying to catch up to what she just said to him. He blinks again, face scrunching in confusion before it falls to one in disbelief, eyes widening.

“What the fuck.”

Mimi laughs, letting her head fall back against the couch, and Noah says it again, louder this time.

“What the fuck.” She lifts her head to look at the screen again, seeing a wide smile spreading across his lips. “You’re not fucking with me, right? You’re serious?”

“As can be.” She hums sending him a gentle smile through the screen. “I’ve had the tickets for a while, I wanted to surprise you at the apartment but forgot how expensive Ubers are, so I kind of need you to pick me up.”

“I will. I’d never make you pay for that.” She swears his smile gets nugget, laughter slipping from him. “How long will you be here?”

“Just a week.” Her lips dip downward from the smile she once wore, sighing quietly. “I’m trying not to use too much time, but I really wanted to see you guys and be there for the album release. This is huge. I couldn’t miss it.”

She notices the twitch in his lips, the slight drop at the mention of only being there for a week, but he covers it up quickly.

"That's fine. I wouldn't even care if it were just a day," He murmurs, eyes softening. "Just as long as I get to see you."

It's crazy what he does to her, her stomach fluttering so much she truly believes there's butterflies roaming around in there. Her cheeks heat up and her frown turns back into a sheepish smile.

"Yeah?"

"Of course. I miss you."

"I miss you, too." 

"And so does Nick. Fuck, can I tell him? He's going to be so excited."

Naomi's heart drops at the mention of Nicholas' name and she has to swallow down the rush of feelings that come to her instantly.

"Yeah, you can tell him. I was gonna text him after I got off the phone with you." She says quietly, bringing her hand up to her mouth to chew at her thumb. 

Noah's lips twitch up into a smile and he hums in response, "It's going to be so nice having you here... fuck, Nick's seriously going to be so excited. He mentioned the other day that he missed you."

Oh. Her tummy does that thing again where it's flipping and turning in every which way, and she knows her cheeks are heating up. She swallows thickly, throat drying up, but she does her best to smile back at Noah.

"Did he?"

"Yeah." 

There's a short pause before Noah's changing the subject, obviously oblivious to Naomi's reactions. She nods along to whatever he says, trying to focus on her boyfriend and not the nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach, her brain screaming at her every chance it could. 

She was going to have to tell them sooner rather than later.

Her eyes narrowed as she scanned the crowd around her, slight irritation bubbling inside of her. It was literally eight o'clock at night, a Wednesday night. Why the hell were there so many people? She huffs to herself as she continues to look for a familiar face, and her breath hitches once she finds Noah standing only a few feet away. He hadn't seen her yet, and she suspects he's wearing the same irritated expression that she is, eyes narrowed, and hands stuffed in his pockets as he looked through the sea of people.

Relief washes over his face when he finally spots her and her feet start moving before she even thinks about it, a smile spreading across her lips when he waves her over.

"Fucking finally." He groans out, barely giving her time to reply before he scoops her into his arms. "Felt like I was standing here forever."

She all but melts in his hold, the irritation she had been feeling just seconds before leaving her the moment Noah wrapped her up in his arms. This is what she was missing. The feeling of comfort she had so desperately been yearning for. Naomi sighs as she buries her face against his chest, fingers curling around the fabric of his shirt. She feels his lips brush against the side of her temple, and she can feel the smile spreading across his features.

"That flight felt like it was fucking forever." Naomi grumbles, the memory of the crying baby a few seats behind her filling her mind. "Didn't think I was gonna make it."

"Thank fuck you did." Noah chuckles as she pulls back but keeps her arms around him. Their eyes lock and his smile grows, leaning down to press their foreheads together. "Missed you."

"Missed you." She whispers, eyes fluttering shut. 

They stay like that for a beat before Noah's pulling back, looking around them as if he was waiting for someone else.

"Nicky should be on his way back..." Noah's voice trails off and Naomi's skin crawls at the mention of the other, stomach dropping. "Ah! There he is."

Her body turns as she follows Noah's gaze and in between the crowds of people emerges Nicholas, a wide grin stretching across his lips as their eyes meet. Her breath hitches in her throat, similar to how it had when she saw Noah, and her heart pounds against her chest. She stood still as Nicholas finally reached them, arms being thrown around her and her face pressing into his chest.

"There's our girl."

She sputters, the sound being muffled by Nicholas' shirt as he holds her closer, lips brushing against the side of her head.

Our girl.

In a perfect world that was true, she was theirs. She always had been, even when they were just friends. She feels her eyes burn. Knowing what she did now, how she felt for the both of them, what Nicholas felt... She squeezes her eyes shut and lets her arms wrap around his middle, hugging him tightly. She can hear Analise yelling at her in the back of her mind, chanting Tell them! Tell them! Tell them! but she can't. Not now, at least. Not right before the biggest day of their entire lives. 

The burning behind her eyes doesn't stop especially when she feels Noah behind her, pressing into her as his arms slip around her and Nicholas, joining the embrace. It feels so right to be wrapped up between the two of them, having just the two of them pick her up from the airport. It makes so much sense, and she lets her mind wander back to that perfect world where this is the norm. Where they meet her here and pick her up, exchanging hugs, I love you, I missed you, and then heading off their home. 

God. Naomi loves them so much that it physically hurts at this point.

Nicholas is the first to pull away, but Noah's still attached to her back, chin now resting against her shoulder.

"You're probably tired." Nicholas hums, eyes scanning over her face. She blinks away the tears, thankful none fall, but knows that he noticed the red rimming around her eyes. His brows furrow. "Everything alright?"

She nods, leaning back against Noah's chest. "Yeah. Just missed you guys."

His face softens and she feels Noah's arms squeeze around her gently.

"We missed you, too," Noah hums in response before finally untangling himself from her but leaves an arm around her shoulder. Nicholas reaches for her suitcase. "Nick’s right, you probably are tired and ready to get home.”

Home.

A lump rises into the base of her throat and she blinks away that burning feeling in her eyes, and leaned into Noah’s side, trying to relax in his embrace. She flicked her eyes towards Nicholas who was already looking at her, eyes narrowed slightly, but lips tugged into a small smile. He knew something was up with her, more than just being tired, but she knew he wouldn't press.

Naomi gives him her own smile, small but a smile nonetheless, and nuzzles herself further into Noah's side.

“I should’ve picked an earlier flight.” She says, a yawn soon following after. She was tired, and later flights always leaves her exhausted. It was about eight at night California time, so even later than the East Coast time she was used to. “I‘m exhausted.”

"Well, let’s get you home and into bed, hm?" Noah squeezed her shoulder, and she felt the brush of his lips against the side of her head, eyes fluttering shut at the comforting feeling. 

"Yeah." Her eyes open again to stare at Nicholas beside her and then tilting her head up to stare at Noah, chest aching only slightly, the burn behind her eyes slowly leaving. "Let's go home."

…

There had been a lot more people there than she had anticipated, and as she eyed the crowd from the merch table she was currently guarding, her chest swelled with pride. She had noticed the rise of Bad Omens in these last few months, their follower count growing steadily, online forums talking about them and their upcoming debut release more and more. It was almost fulfilling to see it all finally come to light, years of blood, sweat, and tears finally leading them to this very moment.

Naomi knows how hard they had worked for this - how hard Noah had worked for this. She has to swallow down her pride, willed away the burning tears at her eyes as she watched Noah work the crowd. It had to be exhilarating, she thinks, getting the crowd hyped up, hearing them sing back those very lyrics you spent hours on. She can't even imagine what Noah must be feeling right now. Not even just him, but Nicholas, Folio, and Jolly as well. They all look like they're meant to be up there. 

She’s so fucking proud.

Her focus on the stage was broken by someone coming up to the table, giving her a timid smile as they pointed to a shirt behind her. She shook herself out of her thoughts and smiled gently at them before reaching for the shirt that they had wanted. They looked young, probably around Folio’s age, and she watched as they handed over the cash for the shirt. She's going by memory now, sorting through money to give them their change and she looks up briefly at the stage. 

She freezes, the dollar bills almost slipping from her grasp. Noah had moved from the center of the stage over to the left, where Nicholas had stood, and the sight had something igniting inside Naomi – like there was a fire in the pit of her stomach. Noah moves with a purpose, slinging an arm over Nicholas' shoulder and presses into his side. This shouldn't be doing something for her, because they've always done this, but it's Noah's next move that has her breath hitching ever so slightly.

Noah's twisting Nicholas towards him, leaning forward so their foreheads can press together. She swallows thickly and watches as Noah's hand goes to move to the back of Nicholas' neck, gripping. Nicholas' eyes flutter shut in that exact moment, and she has to press her lips together in hopes for her mouth to not fucking drop open, especially when Noah presses forward again, their noses barely brushing together as he sang into the mic.

Naomi forced her gaze away from the two, heart pounding against her chest and that fiery pit in her stomach not letting up once. She tried to rid herself of those thoughts, lips straining into a smile as she finally handed the change back to the fan who wasn't even phased. They smiled warmly, and if they noticed the slight flush to her cheeks, they didn't comment on it, instead thanking her and walking off. 

She let out a breath she had been holding, eyes gazing back towards the stage and felt the relief flow through her body when she noticed that Noah was on the other side now. Thank God, she thinks, letting out another long breath before helping out another fan. She’s not sure she could handle seeing them that close again.

As their set went on, she lost count of the times her mind drifted back to Noah leaning into Nicholas' space, his hand placed on the back of the other's neck to hold him there as their foreheads pressed together. She pushed it as far back as she could while doing her job for the night, but it was always there, unmoving in a small portion of her mind. They looked good together, faces far too close to not be taken as intimate, eyes shut in almost ecstasy... Naomi shakes her head.

Girl, get a grip, she thinks.

She can't get too lost in that thought, doesn't let herself cling on to the what if? of the situation. She hadn't let herself think of the maybe, the mere possibility of Noah feeling the same for Nicholas. She doesn't have to think twice on how her boyfriend feels for her because she knows - Noah never gave her a reason to think otherwise. It's Noah's feelings for Nicholas that she's confused about. 

They grew up together. Where Nicholas went, Noah seemed to follow, even long after Naomi had come into the picture and became their friend. She thinks back to long nights spent at their apartment, staying up way too late and passing around a bottle of wine as they talked about their dreams, the future. She remembers how Noah was always staring at her, at the time not knowing the look in his eyes was filled with pure adoration. But she also remembers Noah staring at Nicholas, when he thought no one was paying attention. Not as often as he did her, but he still would. With that same look. 

She didn't know it then, but she knows it now, and her stomach turns all the same as it had with Analise a few weeks ago.  

"Holy fucking shit."

Folio's voice breaks her out of her thoughts and Naomi turns away from the box she's working on to face her friend, giving him a wide smile. 

"Dude!" She all but shouts as Folio bounds his way to the merch table, throwing her arms around him. "That was so fucking sick!"

He slips an arm around her waist, giving it a gentle squeeze. "You think?"

"Think?" Naomi pulls back to stare at him, giving him the most ridiculous look. "Did you not see that crowd? You fucking killed it. They all loved it!”

Folio smiles, big and full of pride, and she can't help but wrap her arms around him again, pulling him back into another hug.

"So proud of you." Naomi remembers the very beginnings of this band, and to think back to where they started up to this very moment makes her a little misty eyed. "Only up from here."

Folio's eyes roll playfully when he pulls away. "Please. The album just came out."

"And?" She laughs now, pinching his arm. "Just watch - in a few years everyone's going to know who Bad Omens are."

"...I hope so." He smiles sheepishly now, head dipping down to hide the hint of flush on his cheeks. 

"I hope so too."

Their conversation is cut short when she hears a few loud voices come closer to them, turning her head to spot the rest of the band coming their way. Her stomach drops the second she sees Noah, and she can't help but stare as both he and Nicholas make their way over to the merch table. Memories of them on stage flash through her mind and she has to look away from them, trying to shake whatever thoughts that seemed to float through her mind. She cannot be thinking about that.

But it's so hard, especially with how good they looked together. Noah's hand wrapped around the back of Nicholas' neck; Nicholas' eyes fluttering shut as Noah pressed himself closer... She physically shakes her head this time, trying to will away those thoughts as Noah comes up to her. She tries to do her best to act like a normal human being and not someone who was just thinking about her boyfriend doing God knows what with their best friend.

"So?" Noah's grin is so wide, she's sure his cheeks hurt, and she doesn't stop herself from throwing her arms around him.

"That was fucking amazing!" Naomi all but squeals. "Y'all have always been good but shit... this show was top tier."

Noah pulls away from her just enough for them to lock eyes, his grin falling to something much softer - timider. "You think so?"

She nods, standing slightly on her tiptoes to press her lips to his cheek gently. "Well duh. Of course, I do."

"You're just saying that because you like me." Noah grumbles playfully and she can't help but pinch at his side, laughing when he yelps.

"Oh, shut up." Their eyes meet again, and her gaze softens, arms slipping back around his waist. "You've worked really fucking hard for this and it showed up there tonight. I'm so proud of you."

She smiles up at Noah gently before turning to face Jolly and Nicholas who have finally joined the group, catching their gazes.

"You guys, too. I don't think I've ever been prouder of anyone in my entire life."

Nicholas blushes, face red and looks away from her, mumbling a quiet "Thank you" and busying himself with folding the rest of the shirts she had laying out. Cute, she thinks to herself before she looks at Jolly, who's waving her off.

"Oh, please. Don't go soft on me." But from the faint color on his cheeks as well, she knows he appreciated it. 

"So, what's the plan?" Folio speaks up, looking around the group. "Celebratory drinks?"

"You're not even legal yet, dude." Noah teases, resting his arm around Naomi's shoulder.

"Neither are you?" Her, Nicholas, and Jolly say in unison before breaking out in laughter, especially at the pouty face Noah gives them.

"Almost!"

"Yeah, two months." Nicholas snorts, casting both her and Noah a look before focusing back on the shirts. "But I'm down to drink."

"Me too." Jolly agrees. "Nick, Mimi - you guys get this all packed up. The rest of the crew will get everything else. Sound good?"

She meets Nicholas' eyes and nods, giving him a gentle smile before focusing back on Jolly, throwing him a thumbs up. "Sounds good to me."

"The quicker we finish, the quicker we can get out of here." Noah says happily, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before pulling away from her. "Let's get this shit done. I'm ready for a drink." 

The three of them walk over to the rest of the crew, beginning to take down their equipment, leaving her and Nicholas alone. This was the first time she had been alone with him since he had been home weeks ago, and her stomach swirls in excitement as she slips into the space next to him, folding the rest of the shirts scattered across the table.

"You did good tonight." She hummed, bumping her hip into his. 

"Yeah?" He keeps his voice low, and she steals a quick glance at him to see the sides of his mouth quirking up into a smile. She nods. "Thank you. I had fun."

"You looked like you did." The words fall from her mouth without much thought, and immediately the image of him and Noah on stage plague her mind. She clears her throat. "You guys are really getting the hang of this."

"It's gotten easier." He says with a shrug, closing up a box he had finished. "Still weird having people like... come and see us? Like. Singing our songs and shit. It's weird but nice."

"It's amazing, that's what it is." She pauses her actions to lean her hip against the table, crossing her arms over her chest. "I sound like a broken record but I just... I'm so proud of you guys. You've been busting your asses for years and it's finally paying off."

Nicholas reaches for the shirts she had folded, and her eyes watch his movements, watching as he placed them into another empty box. Most of the shirts have been tucked away nicely and the only things left are some CDs and a few vinyl variants, and a few posters she thinks. 

"Thank you for coming and helping out." Their eyes meet again, and she holds in a breath, but doesn't look away. "I was scared shitless for tonight, but it was uh, easier. Knowing you were in the crowd." He reaches up to rub at the back of his neck. "Made it easier for Noah, too."

His words pull at her heart, chest tightening. She made it easier for them. Having her there made the biggest night of their lives easier in some shape or form and she has to blink away the burning in her eyes, lips tugging into a smile.

"I'm glad I was able to make it easier."

They stare at each other for a beat longer than needed and Nicholas' eyes drop, going back to packing up their stuff. 

"Ready to haul this shit out to the van?"

She eyes the filled boxes around them, and then the things that still need to be packed up, and internally groans to herself. She wishes they had at least one more set of hands to help out, but everyone else is handling all the heavy duty that she definitely doesn't want to deal with and nods. 

"As ready as I'll ever be."

And on the back-and-forth trips she and Nicholas make from the venue to the van, she can't shake away the feeling in the back of her mind telling her that it's going to be a long night. 

…

Naomi feels warm all over.

The alcohol courses through her veins as she and Noah throw back their third shot of the night. She makes a face, her chest burning from the contents, and chases the after taste with her mixed drink. Noah laughs from beside her.

"Oh, come on! It wasn't that bad."

She groans and leans into his side, her forehead pressing against his shoulder. "You know how much I hate tequila." 

His arm wraps around her, pulling her closer, and she shivers at the feeling of his fingers dancing along her hip and up under her shirt, rubbing the skin there gently. He dips his head down to brush his lips against her cheek, another laugh escaping him. Another shiver ran through her. She's forgotten just how touchy Noah can get whenever he drinks, and after weeks of not seeing him, she's realizing just how much she's missed his hands against her.

"You're being such a baby."

"Fuck you." She jokes, pulling her head up to look at him. He's already staring at her, eyes glazed over and a dopey grin on his lips. 

"Didn't peg you as an exhibitionist, babe."

Naomi sputters at Noah's words and the grin on his lips only grows, and she shoves at his chest playfully. 

"You're terrible." She grumbles, but there's no heat behind her words, the edges of her lips tugging in a smile as her eyes roll. 

Noah laughs, loud and bright, and she lets that very smile on her lips grow. 

"But you looove me." Noah all but sings, pressing a very over dramatic kiss to her cheek. 

She laughs, half-heartedly shoving at his chest. "Hush."

He pulls back to stare at her, and she almost misses the playful glint in his gaze before his eyes drop to her lips. Her tummy flips and she found herself leaning in, wanting nothing more than to have Noah's lips against hers, but stops midway when she sees movement behind the boy. 

Nicholas slips into the spot next to Noah and Naomi can't help but stare, eyes roaming over his alcohol flushed face. Noah feels him right away, a smile stretching across his lips as he turns to look back at him. Her eyes gaze down to his hand coming to rest on Nicholas' thigh and he drops his head on his shoulder, eyes fluttering shut.

"Hi Nicky." 

His tone was sweet and something about it made Naomi’s chest twist. She tries to not think about that right now, not with her hazy, alcohol induced mind, but she can't help but pull her bottom lip in between her teeth at the sight of Noah in between both her and Nicholas. Her mind goes back to Noah’s arm wrapped around Nicholas, against her own will, and remembers him leaning his head against the others as he sang into the microphone. She squirms in her seat.

She isn’t sure why it got her so riled up, but she quite literally couldn’t stop thinking about it. The way Nicholas’ eyes fluttered shut, fingers working along his bass as Noah pressed against him… she has to press her thighs together to try and relieve some of the heat building up inside of her.

With a shake of her head, she reaches forward to brush some of Noah's hair from his face and she doesn't miss the way Nicholas' tenses at Noah's affection, a strained smile forming on his lips.

"Hi Noah." 

"Where'd you wander off to?" Noah's words were slurred, and his eyes open now, lifting his head up to rest his chin on Nicholas' shoulder now. "I've been waiting for you to come take a shot with me, Mimi's being a wimp about it."

Naomi notices the shift in Nicholas' eyes and the way his throat bobs at the close proximity. Her hand drops from Noah's hair to his thigh, gently rubbing, and the boy reaches absentmindedly with his free hand to lace their fingers together.

"I am not." She argues and can't help but huff, eyes rolling. "He gave me tequila when he knows I fucking hate it."

"Oh, man." Nicholas laughs, eyes scrunching. "You know how she feels about tequila, dude. She can't handle it like us - she’s a baby.”

Her mouth drops open, offended.

“Hey!” But it goes ignored.

"Well, I was waiting for you! Then I couldn't find you so," Noah shrugs and lifts his head to look at her. "Mimi was my victim for the night."

"I'm here now." She notices the way Nicholas' shoulders relax, leaning into Noah. His smile isn't strained anymore. "Do you think you can handle another one?"

The mischievous grin Noah gives Nicholas is answer enough and before she realizes it, there's more shots on the table for them - tequila still, much to Naomi's dismay. Jolly joins them at some point, and so does Folio, but they both come and go as they work their way around the bar to talk to everyone. The three of them stay put in their booth, throwing back shots.

As the night goes on, her mind grows hazier and hazier with each shot she takes. She should've stopped, she knows this, especially when they stopped tasting like alcohol and more like water, but it was the only way to calm her nerves. Even in her drunk haze she was able to notice how handsy Noah was tonight.

Perhaps it was the tequila making him this way, and maybe it was because they hadn't seen each other in so long that he needed to touch her in any way that he could, but it was driving her crazy. His hand would inch higher every few minutes, fingers dipping into the exposed flesh of her thigh. Every time she'd feel his nails dig into her skin she'd squirm, pressing her thighs together to relieve some of the pressure building up. 

She moved her focus from the hand on her thigh, to try and regain some kind of normalcy in that brain of hers, and found Nicholas staring at her. Well, not exactly staring at her but... at Noah's hand on her thigh, inching upward every few seconds. His tongue darts out to swipe over his bottom lip and then his eyes flick up towards hers, widening for a second when he realized he had been caught. 

Her breath hitches and she just can't seem to look away, and neither could Nicholas, and it wasn't until another squeeze on her thigh from Noah pulled her away from those hypnotizing eyes.

"-huh?" She says dumbly, looking over at Noah. He had said something, but she didn't quite catch it, too preoccupied. Noah laughs. If he had noticed her staring at Nicholas, he didn't comment on it.

"Just said I don't think I've drank this much in... forever." He hums, head leaning on her shoulder. She relaxes and leans into him, head turning to brush her lips against the side of his head.

"Same." She groans, eyes fluttering shut. "Don't think I've ever drank so much tequila in my life. You two are evil."

She hears both Nicholas and Noah chuckle at that and she smiles, opening her eyes again to look between the two. It was nice to be there with them, reminding her of the days spent in their apartment with their cheap, shitty wine. Her stomach turns, chest squeezing at the memory, and she feels herself almost yearning for that. Back when things didn't have to make sense and she just loved being around them.

If only things could be so simple.

"Yeah, it's been a minute since I've drank this much." Nicholas says while scratching at his neck, a light flush covering his cheeks. "Think I need to slow down."

"Fuck. Same." Noah's quiet for a moment before he laughs, picking his head up to look at Nicholas. "Remember that one night? Like... two years ago?"

Nicholas raises a brow at him. "You're gonna have to be more specific there, man."

"Davis' birthday? We almost drank damn near everything by ourselves."

Naomi sees something shift in Nicholas' eyes, the redness on his cheeks becoming more and more apparent as time passes.

"Oh yeah." His voice is clipped, jaw twitching. "I remember."

Her eyes narrow between the two boys, not understanding the exchange. He seemed... she wasn't sure what he seemed like, but the only thing she could describe it as is tense. Just like he'd been for weeks. She doesn't remember the last time she'd seen Nicholas relaxed for more than an hour; doesn't even remember the last time she didn't notice the lingering sadness that floated around in his eyes. She frowns at him, and he shifts his gaze, looking back at Noah.

"That was fucking crazy." Noah slurs, then turns his head to look at Naomi. "Have I ever told you about that night?"

She shakes her head. "Nah. All I remember is that you guys were miserable the next day. Kind of glad I had to miss it for work."

"You should be glad. Davis almost killed us." Nicholas grumbled and Noah laughed beside her.

"I only remember bits from that night, if I'm being honest." He starts, and then turns his focus back on Nicholas. "Didn't I kiss you?"

"Pardon?" She feels like her eyes are about to jump right out of her fucking head, heart pounding against her chest. Noah looks at her again, head tilted. "Back track. You guys kissed?!"

"Almost." Nicholas' eyes are just as wide as hers and he's quick to answer, head shaking. "Almost kissed. I think I stopped him. Or… maybe Davis did? Actually, I think he ended up tripping and stopping himself.”

Noah's laughing again, all happy and calm as if he didn't just drop the biggest bomb in the history of ever. Naomi's heart slows down, only slightly though, because they didn't actually kiss. For some reason she finds herself being a tad bit disappointed by that. 

This is not helping her earlier thoughts one fucking bit.

"Oh yeah! I did trip, but I think Davis was going to stop us, anyways."

Naomi's eyes flick between them in silence as her mind goes into overdrive, every possible scenario running through it. Noah and Nicholas almost kissed. Touching and kissing and the sweet, sweet noises Noah would be making because she knows how much the boy loves kissing and... 

The tequila is working overtime tonight because her mouth moves before her mind can even catch up.

"Me and Nicky almost kissed once, too."

It was Noah's turn to look at her like she was crazy, brown eyes wide in surprise. Nicholas looks... terrified. All the color has drained from his face and part of her feels bad, like she should have asked him if it was okay to bring it up, but Noah had brought up their almost kiss. Why couldn't she? It's not like they actually did kiss, just like them.

Even if she wishes they had.

"When?!" Noah practically shrieks, and if it weren't for the music and other conversations going on in the bar, she's sure everyone else would've heard them. 

She shrugs. "Uh. When he tattooed me. The first time. Forever ago."

Noah's mouth parts and looks at her, and then at Nicholas, then back to her again.

"Wow..."

Her stomach swirls with nerves and she's sure he's just shocked and not

angry, especially when the way his grip has not loosened on her thigh one bit. She's more nervous about Nicholas, gazing up at him but he's already looking at her. She feels hot under his gaze, and there's something behind the look that she can't fucking read and it's driving her crazy.

"That's..." Noah starts again but stops, throat moving as he swallows, blinking between the both of them again. 

"It was forever ago. Before you guys were even a thing." Nicholas says quickly, placing a reassuring hand on Noah's thigh.

Noah just nods, dazed, and maybe it was the alcohol catching up making his reaction this way - whatever this way is - but the way he's looking at them... Naomi chews on her bottom lip, her hand finding Noah's that was still placed on her thigh. 

"Are you upset?" She questions, fear rising inside of her.

"No." He's quick with his response, turning his full attention to her. "I'm just... thinking."

"...About what?" 

"I..." Noah pauses, tongue darting out to swipe across his bottom lip, eyes shifting between both her and Nicholas. "I think you guys should kiss."

She freezes, the hand she had on Noah's thigh digging into the fabric of his jeans. Her eyes dart to Nicholas' and she's sure they have the same exact look on their faces - eyes blown wide, lips parted, staring at Noah like he had three fucking heads because... what the fuck? 

Naomi notices the way Nicholas shifts uncomfortably in his seat, lips pressed in a line as his eyes dart between her and Noah. She catches his gaze and holds it steadily, trying to ask him quietly what the hell do we do? without actually saying anything. His jaw twitches, and then he swallows, and tears his gaze from hers to look at Noah.

"Isn't that... weird?" He starts, voice rough. He clears his throat. "You're dating."

Noah doesn't say anything at first, his blown-out eyes staring at the two of them sitting either side of him. Naomi's eyes drop to Nicholas' hand that's still placed on Noah's thigh, and then to her own hand that's wrapped in between her boyfriend's. Her stomach swirls, heat builds up inside of her just at the very image of Noah pressed against the two of them, and she's reminded of their interaction on stage. She bites down on her bottom lip and squeezes Noah's hand, causing the boy to look at her.

"I wanna see it." Noah's words are slurred together, and she's reminded that the boy is very much drunk, as are her and Nicholas. 

"Noah, babe, I don't know-"

"Please." He cuts her off and his words are desperate, voice edging on a whine as he stares at her with wide eyes. "It's okay. I... I wanna see it."

Both her and Nicholas share a look across Noah, and she's sure they're both filled with uncertainty, but she can't help but want to do it so badly. Especially now that Noah is asking for it - practically begging. He wants them to kiss. He wants to see it. Why? She's not sure, but God does she want it. 

And with the way Nicholas is staring at her, it's safe to assume he wants it too.

"Okay." She says slowly, peeling her eyes away from Nicholas to look at her boyfriend. "As long as you're okay with it... and Nicky is, too."

Noah looks at Nicholas expectantly and she sees the older male swallow, eyes bouncing between the two of them before he nods slowly.

"Yeah." He clears his throat. "Yeah, I'm okay with it."

Great. Cool. Fantastic.

She swallows the lump in her throat, anxiety climbing its way through her as the two of them shift around to get into a much more comfortable position. Noah stays between them, watching with eager eyes, and Naomi doesn't dare take her hand away from his, his touch keeping her grounded.

What the fuck is happening? He has to realize how crazy this is, right? He's just drunk. He would never let this happen if he was sober, thinking more clearly. Though, her mind drifts to the saying of drunk words being your sober thoughts, and her body heats up just at the mere thought of Noah thinking about this before. 

She sucks in a shaky breath as Nicholas leans towards her, his forehead pressing against her own. Noah's hand squeezes hers, his thumb sliding against her skin reassuringly, but the nerves in her stomach won't quit. 

Her eyes flutter shut the second their lips meet, and she can't stop the gasp that seems to leave her. His lips were soft, not as soft as Noah's, but much softer than she ever expected. They both don't move at first, just sit there with their lips pressed together, until she feels Noah's hands squeeze hers again. She moves first, lips dragging across Nicholas' and she physically shakes at the noise he makes, a groan from deep inside his chest. He reaches up with a shaky hand to cup the side of her face and she wraps her free hand around his wrist, keeping it there as their lips move together.

Naomi swears her heart is about to burst out of her chest when she pulls away from Nicholas. Silence surrounds them as their eyes open and her breath catches in her throat, lips still buzzing from the kiss, and she so desperately wants to lean back in. She doesn't though, instead her tongue darts out to swipe across her bottom lip and her entire body heats up as Nicholas' eyes follows it, before dragging his eyes back up her face.

"My turn." Noah's voice pulled Naomi's gaze away from Nicholas, looking into her boyfriend's wide, brown eyes. He looked just about as dazed as she felt, his skin flushed pink from the alcohol and possibly something else. He purses his lips into a pout. "Please?"

She smiles easily, her hand that was resting against his thigh coming up to cup the side of his face. Noah melts into the touch instantly, turning his head to nose at the palm of her hand. "Of course, baby."

They fall into each other naturally, Naomi's lips finding home against Noah's. It felt right - like it always had. Even in her drunken state it still felt as if this was where she was supposed to be, and with Nicholas being so close, her heart nearly jumped its way out of her chest at just how perfect everything felt. Like he was always meant to be there, with them. 

Noah's kisses are desperate, a bit sloppy, something that tends to happen when he drinks, and Naomi's hand falls from his cheek to the back of his neck, fingers working through his hair. She tugs gently, a silent way of telling him to relax, breathe, and the whimper he lets out against her lips goes straight to her core.

Fuck.

They pull a part and Noah already looks wrecked, lips red, shiny, and swollen. His flushed face even darker now, eyes dilated like crazy. He looks like she could tell him to do anything, and he’d do it, simply only to please her. She smiles sweetly at him, gently scratching at his scalp and leaning back in to press a kiss to the side of his mouth.

"Was that good enough for you?" She teases in a gentle voice when she pulls back.

Noah nods but doesn't say a word, staring at her for a moment before he glances off to the side. Nicholas sits beside them quietly, patiently, but with the same blown-out, flustered gaze Noah has. She's sure she looks similar to them, a slight twinge of color to her cheeks, eyes wild. She swallows.

"Nicky," Noah hums from beside her, shifting his body towards Nicholas'. Her hand falls from his hair and back to his thigh. "Can I kiss you too?"

He says it so gently, with so much care, that Naomi's heart clenches beneath her chest. Noah looks back at her for a moment, eyes wide now with a bit of fear, silently asking permission and she nods. Of course, she does, because why would she ever deny him of this? She sees it now, sees what Analise had been trying to tell her just mere weeks ago. 

If these boys haven't noticed it yet, they will soon.

She looks at Nicholas now, seeing the hesitancy behind his eyes and she gives him a nod as well. She watches his throat bob as he swallows before his gaze lands on Noah's again, giving him a timid smile.

"Is that what you want?"

Noah nods, a little too enthusiastically that Naomi has to hold back a laugh. "Yes. I want it." 

Another glance is shared between Naomi and Nicholas and the older boy nods to himself, as if preparing for what's about to happen. 

"Okay."

At first no one moves, and Naomi watches the two boys expectantly as they stare at each other. Noah's gaze falls to Nicholas' lips and his tongue darts out to swipe over his own before a whine pulls itself from his chest and he's reaching out, fingers curling around Nicholas' shirt to bring him closer. Nicholas lets him do it, eyes shutting as their lips finally meet and Naomi freezes. She doesn't move, doesn't even fucking breathe, but watches both boys kiss in front of her.

Noah whines against Nicholas' lips, desperate and borderline pitiful, and Naomi's thighs press together. The noise travels straight to her core and her fingers dip into Noah's thigh, her grip tightening. She watches carefully as Nicholas brings a hand up to Noah's cheek, cupping his cheek like had done hers moments ago while the younger trying to deepen the kiss. Their lips slide together messily, hungry for more, and the only thing she can think of right now is how good they look together and how she desperately wants to be between them.

She has to push the thought of her lips sliding across Noah's, Nicholas behind her and his lips attached to her neck, so far to the back of her mind or else... she's not sure what she would do. But whatever it is she can't do it, especially here. In a very public place. Her heart rate picks up just at the thought of someone catching them and almost as if they could feel her distress, the two boys finally part.

Nicholas looks at her first, eyes darting between her and Noah. She swallows at the sight of his hand still placed against Noah's cheek, thumb brushing against his skin.

"Happy?"

Noah nods in his hold, dazed, and at a loss for words. Nicholas smiles, small, but soft, and it's the smile she knows that he's saved for only them, and the quick pace of her heart slows down for just a moment. This feels right. The thought doesn't scare her as much.

Noah finally looks at her, hooded eyes and a dazed smile settling on his lips, and she can't help but reach forward, pushing some hair out of his face and tucking it loosely behind his ear. He turns his head slightly, pressing another kiss against the base of his palm and her heart squeezes beneath her chest. She feels Nicholas' eyes on her, and she turns to look at him.

Two things happened at that moment. 

She notices the exact moment of realization flash through Nicholas' eyes when they finally meet hers, and she watches them widen. She's not sure what exactly he's realizing, because she thinks he's known about his own feelings for some time now, but perhaps... Perhaps he's realizing that he's not the only one in this. That he’s not alone.

She can only hope, though.

The soft realization is soon overtaken by another, eyes widening even more, and her skin runs cold. The softness is gone and now replaced by fear, and his face drains from any color. His hand drops from Noah's cheek and scoots away from him, trying to put some distance between the three of them. 

He's panicking. 

"Nicky..." She starts, sobering up quickly. 

"I'm okay." He sounds anything but and pushes himself up and out of the booth. "I'm okay. I just - I need air."

Noah stirs beside her, and he scoots closer to the edge of the booth, trying to reach out for Nicholas. "Where are you going?"

Nicholas looks down at him, and then her, and his expression is pained, like he's battling with himself internally. Naomi's heart drops.

"I'll be back, okay?" He rushes out, giving Noah a quick and very strained smile. "I just. Need air. It's hot. I'm drunk. Not a good mix."

And then he's gone, pushing his way through the crowd to get as far away from them as he could. Naomi feels like she could cry, the moment sobering her up too fucking much because the moment was finally catching up to her.

What the fuck did they do?

"Is he okay?" Noah's voice breaks her out of her thoughts, and she blinks away the tears she hadn't realized were building up, looking towards her boyfriend.

"Yeah." She says, but she feels like it’s a lie, and reaches forward to smooth some of his hair back. "Just needed some air. He'll be back."

That seems to be enough for Noah, his shoulders dropping in relief and a satisfied smile stretches across his lips. Naomi tries to smile back, but she knows it doesn't reach her eyes and she leans forward, pressing a kiss to his cheek. 

"Let's get some water, yeah? I don't think we need any more shots."

He agrees easily, letting her drag him through the crowd to try and find some water, and they eventually bump into Jolly and Folio on the way. She tries to act normal, even when Jolly asks where Nicholas ran off to, but he seems to be satisfied when she tells him that he just went outside for a breather, he'll be back. No one questioned it again, even when they didn't see him for the rest of the night. 

[thought--bubble]

If I had the love I needed, Pt 1

Will (Salad Days) X (Friend Reader)

Warnings Below

Word Count: 2,431

If I Had The Love I Needed Master List

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A/N: This will be just 2 parts. Was originally going to be a one-shot, but it just kept getting longer and longer ��🤣 (Canon divergence, I fully believe Will smashed Leah, but I didn't want that for my story)

Warnings:: abuse, neglect, alcoholism. (Saved the good stuff for part 2)

"Get out!!!" Your aunt is once again, very drunk and screeching at you while hurtling dishes toward your head.

"Ok! Ok!" You grab your tiny backpack and book it out of the flat. This was a common occurrence for you in your life. Your parents have been gone since before an age where you would have memories and you were left in the care of your aunt who was a full-blown alcoholic.

When she went on a bender, it wasn't abnormal for her to throw one of these fits and throw you out of the flat for a few days. Typical shame response. It did, however, leave you in a precarious position since you did not have enough money to rent your own flat, and you helped your aunt pay the bills so you weren't able to save all that much either.

So you headed off to the fish and chips shop that your best friend works at. She's always the one who bails you out. Letting you stay at her house until your aunt comes off her bender and calls you home to care for her.

When you arrive, Leah is alone in the shop with Will. Leah told you about the awkward encounter she had with him recently when she was fighting with her boyfriend Matt. She almost did something she would live to regret, and Will couldn't seem to let it go. Will was a lonely guy. Anyone who interacted with him could see that. You didn't know him well, just that Leah has known him since childhood.

Leah looks relieved as you enter the shop while Will looks a bit irritated.

"Sorry" you awkwardly mumble. "Leah, can I talk to you?"

"Oh god, please tell me she didn't kick you out again?" Leah says a look of exasperation on her face.

"It wouldn't be my life if she didn't," you smile weakly at her.

"I'll ask my mum if you can stay, but it's been a little crazy at my house, and my mum is not happy with me at the moment" Leah says while scratching the back of her neck.

"If you can't, it's not a big deal. I'll figure something out. " You try to sound confident, but you don't have many friends, so if Leah can't help you, you actually have no clue what you are going to do.

Leah looks at you skeptically. " You can't be out and about all night on the streets of derby wearing that," Leah gestures toward you.

"I don't look bad!" You look down at yourself. You are wearing a plain black jumper with a black pleated mini skirt knee socks and Mary Jane shoes. Your hair in two braids that hang loosely down either side of your head.

"No, you don't. But you'll look like a tart walking around all night, like that, " Leah says, concerned.

"Why would you be walking round all night?" Will interrupts.

"Because her drunk aunt kicks her out every time she has a few too many," Leah says, frustrated.

"It's not a big deal, Leah. I'll be fine, " you say, not wanting anyone to take pity on you.

As if sent by the gods to take the focus off of you, Matt and Tom burst through the door. loud and boisterous.

"We're closed!" Leah says laughing and annoyed.

"Not for us!" Matt says happily leaning over the counter and giving Leah a kiss.

You can see Will's face drop at this as he looks away.

"And where have you been? No one's seen ya for 2 weeks!" Matt says to Will, who just shrugs in response.

Matt goes around the counter and starts rummaging through the cooler, which is clearly annoying Leah as you just stand there. You know it's only a matter of time before Leah kicks them out, and you can finally talk to her privately.

"You could stay at mine. You know, if you really needed to." Will says softly.

Tom stifles a giggle while Will punches his shoulder. "Let's leave the ladies alone," will says getting up, guiding Tom to the door.

Matt laughing gives Leah one final kiss and then walks out behind them.

After they have gone, it feels like a hurricane just left the shop.

Leah looks up at you and sighs. "Now let's try to figure out what to do with you, yeah? My mum text back said, "Not tonight." But I got a couple of girls I can call for ya"

You grit your teeth but smile in thanks. You don't look forward to the idea of sleeping at a complete strangers place, but your options are very limited and dwindling by the second.

You sit on the stool Will was previously sitting at and swing your feet. While Leah cleans up the shop and sends out a few texts trying to find you a place to stay for the night.

"Do you need help?" You offer hoping to break the uncomfortable silence that has fallen between you

"Nah, almost done," she smiles at you, and your stomach turns. PITY. you can see it in her face, and you hate it.

After nearly two hours, she's finally done cleaning, and restocking so the two of you head out, and she locks up.

"I don't know what to do. No one has said yes yet," she bites her nails as she continues looking through her phone.

"Will offered" you laugh looking up at the sky.

"What? Oh.... that might not be a good idea, " Leah says

"I didn't say I was gonna go. Just thought I'd tell ya. Given your..... recent situation"

"That was nothing. A mistake. Should have never gone as far as it did, " Leah says, clearly uncomfortable with this topic.

"Ok. Well, I will figure something out. Go home. I'll be fine. " You hug Leah and give her a reassuring smile.

She looks at you unsure but knows that she has done all she can. "Please just text me when you have landed somewhere? I'll be up all night with worry"

"Promise." You give her a cheeky grin and head off down the sidewalk. Once you turn away from her, that confident facade you had been wearing for her benefit falls. You had no clue what you were going to do.

'I'll just walk around. Not much can happen if I just keep moving.' You think to yourself. You see Will, Tom and Matt heading back towards your direction.

"I'm late, obviously," Matt says annoyed.

"Late?" You ask him eyebrows raised.

"I like to walk Leah home. We weren't supposed to be gone this long. " he shoots an irritated glare towards Will.

"She just started walking, not even 5 minutes ago. You could still catch up, " you say while gesturing toward the direction Leah went

"Right," Matt takes off down the street.

Tom continues walking in that same direction while Will stops in front of you.

"Did you end up finding a place to land?" His voice is so gentle it causes a small smile to creep onto your face.

"Oh yeah, totally headin' there now" you try to keep your face from telling on you but fail miserably

"Will? You comin?" Tom yells from ahead

"Yeah, we are." Will grabs your hand and pulls you along with him. "Told ya you can crash at mine. Leah was right. You can't just wander around alone all night"

You go to protest, but he gives you a "Don't bother" look.

You surrender and follow him. You don't pull your hand away. For some reason, the gentle touch, even something as innocuous as someone holding your hand, feels comforting. Gentleness isn't something you have experienced. Much of so, him holding your hand feels like you are finally getting something you have long since needed.

Tom looks at your intertwined hands and then at Will. "Uh-"

"Shut it, Tom, keep walkin" Will says with a cold stoic look but gives your hand a little squeeze.

You blindly follow Will at this point, mesmerized with his touch, how it's gentle yet commanding.

Tom breaks off in a different direction to go to his flat while you and Will continue straight ahead.

"Are you sure your nan won't be upset you are bringing a random girl home with you?"

"My Nan is bedridden right now. She won't even know you're there. Besides, you're not a random girl. You're a friend of Leah."

The two of you reach the flat.

"Just keep quiet and follow me yeah?"

You nod as he opens the door to the flat as quietly as possible. The door leads directly to a flight of stairs. He motions for you to take your shoes off.

Once you take the shoes off, you hold them in your left hand while Will grabs your right hand and leads you up the stairs.

Your heart is pounding as you go up the stairs, and for a brief second, you regret coming here. What are you doing? You don't know Will enough to be doing this. As if he can sense your hesitation, he turns back towards you and smiles, and just like that, you are pleased with your decision.

Yep. This was a good decision because..... that smile. Yup.

When the two of you reach the top of the landing, he turns back to you and puts his finger over his lips. You nod toward him as he pulls you further into the flat tiptoeing past the first door. He stops at the second door, opens it, and motions for you to go inside.

You enter what seems to be his bedroom.

"Make yourself comfy. I'll be right back" he says this while giving you a cheeky smile as he quietly closes the door.

For the first few minutes, you awkwardly stand in the middle of the room, holding your shoes to your chest as you look around the room.

There is a bed and boxspring on one side of the room. A very small bed you note. That should fill you with nerves, but instead, your face gets hot.

There is a dresser with some assorted items on top. the drawers haphazardly closed. A pile of clothes on the floor.

About 15 minutes later, he comes into the room with two small mugs of tea, placing them on the dresser and then quietly closing the door.

"Brought you a cuppa" he whispers while he looks at you with a smile " you can put your shoes down" he chuckles

"Oh yeah, thanks." You feel your face heating up again as you place your shoes on the floor.

You reach for the tea and bring the cup to your lips, taking a sip. "I umm I like your room," you say awkwardly.

"Yeah, thanks. Not much, but it's home. " he sips his own tea, his eyes peering at you over the cup.

You both finish your tea in silence.

"You can borrow a shirt to sleep in if you need. I'd give you joggers, but I know they wouldn't fit. " he chuckles, looking you up and down.

Your face doesn't just heat up at this comment. You are convinced it has actually erupted into flames. "N-n-no, that's ok. I can sleep in my jumper"

"We'll have to share the bed.... can't have my Nan come out to use the loo and see me on the sofa."

You look over at the very tiny bed and bite your bottom lip.

"Don't worry love we'll make it work"

He makes his way over to his dresser, pulling out a pair of joggers and a long t-shirt.

"I'll go get dressed then," he leaves the room again, closing the door as quietly as possible behind him.

You let out a breath and take your skirt and socks off. The jumper you are wearing is big enough to cover your bum but just barely. Your thighs on full display.

"Lord, this is awkward," you mumble to yourself as you fold your skirt and socks, placing them on top of your little backpack. You remain standing in the middle of the room, pulling your jumper down, trying to will it with the power of your mind to somehow grow longer.

Will returns, and you spin around to look at him. He looks good in his loose-fitting t shirt and joggers a lone silver chain around his neck.

He goes over to the bed and lays down on his side toward you. Your feet are rooted to the floor, your heart pounding so loudly in your chest that you are certain he and possibly his Nan in the other room can hear it.

"C'mere," he looks at you with a twinkle in his eyes, but you stay frozen, unable to move. "I'm not gonna bite ya, I promise"

You move slowly toward the bed and sit down on the edge. You lay down on your side with your back to Will.

You can feel him shift behind you making room for you.

"Do you mind if I put my arm on ya? Space is kinda limited. " he chuckles

"Oh yeah, ok.... that's fine. " You hold your breath as you feel his arm come down around you and pull you back so your back is flush against his chest. His arm on your waist and his hand flat against your upper stomach.

You can feel him sigh into your hair as he shifts a little more behind you, making himself comfortable. You can feel your heart beating so hard you wouldn't be surprised if it just leapt from your chest and ran out of the room.

Will nuzzles his face into your hair and takes a deep breath in pressing himself tighter to your back. You close your eyes and try to sleep. You can hear and feel his breathing behind you, falling into a steady rhythm.

You try desperately to calm your heart rate down but can't. You feel his arm and hand on you and his body pressed up against yours, and you feel like there is electricity pulsing throughout your body. A strong and deep want developing between your legs that you are desperately trying to ignore.

"Do I make you that uncomfortable?" He whispers into your ear.

You noticably shiver when he does this and release a shakey sigh. "Oh umm no" you whisper.

He pulls you tighter against his body pressing his now very hard cock up against your lower back.

"Then why can't you sleep?"

A/N: teehee. Second part will be out soon. 💚

Part 2

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[izgnanik-a]

Suffer Does The Wolf (Crawling To Thee) ii

Summary: Simon knew the exact moment when he knew he had to have you for himself. It was only a matter of time before his military skills allowed himself into your home, into your life. And once he stuck — he wasn’t going to let you back out of his webs.

Tags: non-con, stalker!Ghost, fem reader, mature content

MINORS DNI

previous part ⬅️ next part ➡️

The next time Simon had come to the shop was a few days after he’d found and given you the gift of the nail polish. He didn’t want to go away for so long, but he was the eyes and ears of a Recon mission — so he has to make his own coffee from home. It wasn’t as bitter as the shop’s or as hot, it wasn’t tainted by your smile or the smell of the cheesy buns from the bakery counter.

But it sufficed.

Simon walked in like he was a soldier back from war, head on a swivel, searching the corners for you. And to be expected — you stood behind the counter but by the end by the swinging stable doors, interacting with a customer quite fondly.

He couldn’t pry, couldn’t get close, but he could see your eyes dancing along the person’s face in interest. To their eyes, their hair, and lips.

What could have been so interesting about them?

A sickening green envy sat in his chest, banging against his ribcage, wanting to get out. He kept his glare fixed on the customer, even when the person at the head of the line before him stepped aside to wait for their order.

“What can I get for you?” The cashier asked.

Simon’s eyes were fixed on you leaning forward for a hug, fitting your face into the person’s shoulder so fondly.

“Can I help you?”

He watched the warmth of your smile spread as you held the hug a moment longer, pulling back to wave and watch them go.

“Sir?”

Simon fixed his glaring eyes on the poor cashier before him. His jaw was clenched so hard under his jaw he wasn’t sure he could unhinge it.

“You can go on break. I’ve got the line.” You called as you came up to the counter. “I’ve got it—“ you looked at him, and smiled.

Simon’s envy and anger dissipated with the sight of your finger nails, painted in a glossy white color. The same color of his Ghost mask he’d left hidden under his floorboards for when he returned to active duty.

You gleamed at him, “I’ve got this.” You assured the worker again before fully taking their position. “The usual?” You asked him, scribbling something on the side of a paper cup.

“Yeah.” He gulped the dry anger down.

You hummed and turned to fill his cup. “I haven’t seen you around in a bit.” You remarked.

Him? You haven’t seen him? He shrugged. “Work.”

You nodded and set his coffee on the countertop. “Maybe you could tell me about it sometime.” You offered before sliding his cup closer to him. “Your coffee has already been paid for.”

The slight twitch of his eyebrow made you smile wider. But he drew his eyes down, staring at your pale nails still grazing his coffee lid.

He picked it up. “Thanks.”

“No problem.”

Simon lingered before turning for his corner, and sat down. He moved to bring the coffee to his lips and paused—scribbled alongside the paper cup, just under his thumb was a note: “ The price. xxx-xxxx call me, Simon “

He glanced towards the countertop where the last customer had been shuffled aside. He caught a glimpse of your eyes, peering through the crowd towards you.

A smirk on your face.

He’d put the number in his phone before even leaving the building and kept the cup on the desk as memorabilia.

You didn’t get a text until two days after you’d given it out to the tall and handsomely masked man in the shop. A usual you’d taken a liking to, and seemingly he had taken a liking to you.

You were glad.

You received a text message from an unknown number with a simple text; “ - Simon “ and it made you laugh at how plain it was.

Simon didn’t know what to say to you, or what to do, but you’d led every conversation following; “ are you coming by today? “ “how’s your morning? “ “hope you’re doing well! “ “I liked your hoodie from today. “ “sorry I missed you, traffic. “ And with every interaction, he was buzzing with excitement.

Fic Masterlist

Do not copy my works and post elsewhere.

[wildsupernova]

and you loved me still.

summary: the memories of their summers together would haunt her for the rest of her life, always leaving her to wonder what could have been. steve never realized how important those memories were to him until he couldn’t forget it.

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader (no use of y/n)

word count: 1.7k

warnings: no warnings for this one, although i guess there’s mild angst

a/n: hey guys! yet another short song based fic after a way too long break lol. i just finished up my second year of college so everything’s kind of hectic right now, but i’m gonna try to get out some longer, non-song based fics here soon i promise. hope you guys enjoy this because i’ve been OBSESSED with this song for the past month, and if you do, feel free to comment, repost, like, whatever! any interaction helps :)

if you want to make a request for a fic, my requests are open, and i also have a prompts list linked below to make requests from as well. i’ve been talking too long, so thank you guys for reading and i hope you enjoy!

masterlist | prompts list

The aftermath of it all left her numb, even after summer was over. She wished she could get over it the same amount that she wished it would sting more, because feeling anything at all would be better than being stuck in this limbo she’d been suspended in since August ended. She couldn’t bring herself to smile, but she also couldn’t bring herself to cry, doing nothing but sitting and reminiscing about the past 3 summers they’d spent together. Every time she looked at him, every memory would replay in her mind, and then his eyelashes would blink it all away. 

They were memories she didn’t really want to forget, something that reminded her of the few times that she was really, truly happy about being stuck in Hawkins. They were the only thing pushing her through the monotony that was the first half of the semester, and the only thing that kept her sane while she was surrounded by the plain white walls of her small dorm room. 

The warm Indiana wind flowed through the spaces between her fingers, her hand tapping along to the music that played through the radio. He turned the volume dial until the sounds of guitar and drums drowned out the purr of the engine as they drove, and she mouthed along to the words almost absentmindedly. 

He was wearing his brand new Nike sneakers, still pristine white and shiny as if they’d just come out of the box. He blamed it on where they were going, told her that he could only wear his “best shoes” to go hiking in the woods on the outskirts of Hawkins, but she wasn’t stupid. He was doing it all just to show off for her, and she was eating up every last bit of it. 

He made some joke to her that she couldn’t hear very well over the radio, but she laughed anyway. He told her that he loved the way she sounded when she laughed, and she’d never forget the way he leaned over the center console and kissed her long and slow, car dipping lightly into the ditch as he did. 

Steve Harrington was absolutely untouchable in those high school years. Stubborn, arrogant, one of the most difficult people she had ever met in her life. But none of it mattered because he was King Steve, the invincible monarch that ruled over all of Hawkins high. No one dared tell him how much of an asshole he was, or how much they hated him, because one wrong move and he’d make you the laughing stock of the school until graduation. Girls fell at his feet and followed him wherever he walked, and he had picked her. 

Just for the summer, that's what they had agreed. Just one summer, that turned into two and then three. He kept every secret she had ever told him held close to his chest, never letting a single one slip out of the confines of his bedroom. He took every weakness she ever had and became it, from his stupid, perfectly styled brown hair to his honey colored eyes. He took every insecurity and flipped it on its head, always turning self deprecating jokes she made into compliments. But in the end, she just couldn’t fill the shoes he wanted her to. 

She told him she wasn’t all in, but she was. By the end of that first summer, she’d fallen so deeply in love with him that she couldn’t go one day without thinking about him, unable to look at any other guy the way she looked at him. She couldn’t be like all of the other girls before, the ones content with summer time flings and one night stands. She wanted it all, and he wanted something fun. He was the king of the jungle and she’d fallen right into her role as his prey, and the second she let her guard down, he went in for the kill.

Steve wanted to forget the past, but nothing he could do would ever make it disappear from his memory. He thought that, maybe, if he could just fall into the monotony of his job at Family Video, he’d eventually be able to forget about her, but it seemed like the more he tried to forget, the more he remembered. Trying to push the past away only made him yearn for a future where he had her again, somewhere away from all of this, her body curled up against his own while they watched all those cheesy vintage movies she loved so much. 

The thing that hurt the most was remembering their conversation of how they imagined their life would be after high school, so far removed from what their lives were like now. 

“What do you think you’re gonna do after high school?” She blinked as she looked up at him, her eyelashes tickling his jaw. “You know, when all of this bullshit is over?”

He blew out a breath through his nose.”I don’t know, never really thought about it.”

“Really? Never once thought about what you want to do with your life when you graduate?”

“I always just kind of assumed I’d work for my dad after high school, I guess.” She moved out from under his arm and rolled over onto her stomach, bare chest pressed against the mattress. 

“Okay, then if you could do anything for the rest of your life, what would it be?”

“I don’t know!” She let out a small laugh, slapping him lightly on the shoulder. 

“Come on, think! There’s gotta be something you’ve always wanted to do.”

“I guess if I had to pick anything, I’d be a teacher.”

Her eyebrows knit together. 

“Hmm.”

“See, it’s stupid-”

“No, it's not stupid! Just not what I expected you to say.” She flipped over to lay on her side, propping her head up with her hand. The blanket fell down and off her chest, and Steve had to stop himself from looking down. “What would you teach?”

“I don’t know, elementary school maybe? I like kids, so why not?”

“You want a big family, I take it?” He rolled over onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Almost instinctively, she laid her head down on his chest, hand drawing circles along his skin while he talked. 

“I guess. House in the suburbs, picket fence, 4, maybe 5, kids.” She let out a loud laugh at that. 

“5? Seriously? You better hope whoever you marry is crazy because any sane woman would stop after 2.” He smiled at that. 

“It's a negotiable number.”

He was so difficult back then, so hard to love, but she did it anyway. He did everything he could to keep up appearances, to keep every girl he knew at arms length and never let them find a way into his heart, but somehow she made it in. She wanted him even when he was that arrogant asshole who wouldn’t even throw her a glance in the hallways, who wanted to keep their summer rendezvous a secret to save his own reputation, and found a way to bring out who he really was when they were alone. He kept every secret she told him locked up in his heart even though the guy he pretended to be would have aired it all out just to hurt her. He knew every one of her insecurities and weaknesses, and she knew all of his, but in the end, she just couldn’t fit the role of what he thought he wanted. 

Just another girl to occupy his time with, another girl to spend the summer with and forget about when the next one came along. Except one summer turned into two, which turned to three, which turned to watching her drive away with all her things packed up to begin her life. She had been all in for him, and he just wasn’t ready for that. At the time, he didn’t even know thats what he’d wanted, but now that she was gone and those summers were over, he wished he had, because all he can think about is how she had been nothing more than prey to him at the time, and he’d killed any chance at the life they’d talked about so many times. A life he kept trying to tell himself he didn’t want with her.

She wondered if it was all worth it, or if it had all just been a waste of time. A waste of time that left her wondering what could have happened if she’d just been honest, if she hadn’t lied to him at the end of that third summer when he asked her if she’d agreed that all of this was just for fun. She still knew all of his favorite foods by heart, still remembered his diner order and the movies he liked to watch when his parents weren’t home. She wanted to forget about all of it, but she couldn’t.

He wondered if it was worth it, hurting her like that. She’d always tell him that it wasn’t anything more to her, that she knew this was all just something to pass the time, but he knew she’d only said it to hide how real it all was for her. He wished he’d been able to recognize how real it had been for him just a little bit sooner, because maybe then he wouldn’t have to sit here and wonder what could have been. He wouldn’t feel like every date he went on was a waste of time, because the person who knew him best was long gone. 

She’d cling to the memories of her summers with Steve like something sacred and fragile, keeping them close as a reminder of when things used to be simple. When she could lie to herself about how she felt about him and still feel like she was telling the truth, when she had that false hope that maybe they could turn into something more than a summer fling. She heard from friends back home that he was a different guy now, but it seemed he was just that guy who would always come out when they were alone by his pool on those warm summer nights. The guy she fell in love with over and over again every summer. 

Maybe, if they met again, he’d be all in for sure, but she wasn’t sure she could be this time.

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

Hi Ivy! I hope you're having a great day! I was wondering if you can write some Yandere headcanons for Leon? Thanks! (* ^ ω ^)

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Thank you! My day was good so far. I hope your day was great too! Also, sorry for writing this so late 😅. If you liked these headcanons, let me know 🤗

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ Leon Kennedy x Reader;

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨ W a r n i n g s ୧⋆ ˚｡⋆ yandere behaviour, stalking, mention of kidnapping.

Also, check my Patreon and Ko-fi for early content and drafts. Thank you! ❤️

➤You two met while waiting in line to buy coffee. It was a cold morning, everyone was tired, and they all wanted to go home already. The store got full pretty quick, and the baristas barely handled the crowd.

➤Leon was waiting behind you when something caught his attention. Maybe it was the hair, maybe your coat, which was tight on your body, highlighting your curves, or maybe the faint scent of perfume. Nonetheless, he kept staring at you, hopping to see the face of the stranger who captivated him so early in the day.

➤He got to hear your voice as you talked on the phone. Your soft voice captivated him even further and ignited something inside him. It could be passion or desire; he didn't know, but the feeling was intense.

➤He couldn't resist any longer, so he gently tapped your shoulder. The moment you turned, it felt like the world stopped for him. There wasn't anyone else in the shop beside you and him. You were simply perfect.

➤With a shy smile, he gently asked you what the time was, lying that his phone was dead. After that, you two chatted for a bit about the weather and how small this place actually was, but you both agreed that coffee's too good to change locations.

➤Even if it wasn't obvious, he was very much into you. You liked him too. He was handsome and tall, and he seemed kind too. You didn't develop an obsession, though.

➤After that, he followed you all day, finding where you work and where to live. He felt so good to be a part of your daily activities, even if you didn't know.

➤He couldn't focus on anything, as your face was the only thing he could think about. He began to replay that small interaction in his mind over and over, obsessing over it, creating different scenarios, and thinking about what could've gone differently if he had the courage to ask for your number.

➤At some point, he installed microphones and cameras in your place.

➤He wanted to see every single thing you do and analyse every detail of your life, no matter how boring it was. He could stare at you for hours, watching you eat, cook, and work. He enjoyed watching you sleep the most, as you looked so peaceful. All he wanted was to snugle in your bed and pull you closer to him, feeling the warmth of your body and burrying his nose in your hair. His body twitched in excitement as he fantasised about such intimate moments with you.

➤For a very long time, he was happy to stalk you, as everything you do has a certain charm to it. He learned so much about you, from your hobbies, what movies you liked, what you studied in college, and what your deepest secrets were, like addictions or regrets.

➤His desire grew stronger and stronger by the day, until it became unbearable. He had to approach you again, and this time maybe to take you with him.

➤During a night out with some friends, Leon decided to make his move when he saw you at the bar, alone and indecisive about what to drink.

“I can suggest a good drink if you want.” He said it in his sweet voice.

“Sure, I can use some help," you replied to the good-looking stranger, who seemed a little familiar.

➤There was something about him. You couldn't remember at that moment where you met him. Maybe it was his way of talking, or maybe his mannerism. Nonetheless, you engaged in a conversation with him, and while you talked, you suddenly remembered.

➤He liked you a lot. He liked you so much that he was willing to commit unspeakable things just to make you his. Yet you didn't know that because he seemed like the most innocent person on earth.

➤He tried to steal time, but eventually one of your friends called you over. His heart shattered into pieces as he saw you walking away. It felt as if you had ripped out his heart and walked away with it.

➤You waved to him and returned to your table. He watched you with a lost expression as you got far away from him. He was so lovesick. At least he has your number.

➤For your own sake, you hope he doesn’t call, because no one will guarantee that you'll return home.

Tag-list: @lunarastrobabe @skylar-todd @rokurodokuro @brownsugarwrites @yourallyse (if you want to be added DM me 🤗)

[sirsealery]

aphrodite ourania

yippee part 3 of aphrodite areia whattttt????? as always this is dedicated to @cabotwife !! ilysm and i hope you like it yay !! 2.2k words note: my work (including this series) is also posted on ao3 under "therissotto_man"

warning: grief/mourning (but not so bad this time i think), a bit of swearing

The passage of time is strange. In a gray haze, the days passed, and soon it was no longer the day that Silena had died, nor the week, and soon even the month would be up. August was coming to a close, and the first puffs of fall began sweeping in through the wind. 

In that time, Clarisse hadn't talked to Drew again. They barely interacted with each other, never saying much more than a muttered 'scuse me’ when pushing through a crowd or a ‘can you pass me that please’. But she kept an eye on her, and she had a feeling that the other girl did the same. Clarisse watched her, made sure she saw her come to breakfast and return to her cabin at night. She watched her, and imagined Drew must have too, for no innocent’s eyes flit away as hers did when Clarisse’s gaze landed on her. 

Clarisse busied herself with other tasks to distract herself from the grief that gnawed ceaselessly at her. She hadn't felt relief from it since the brief moment that first night after the fight from Drew, the pain throbbing but somewhat eased. Any mention of Silena was nails sliding down her sternum, grating and fresh all over again. She'd never felt this way for a person, and it didn't make sense but all she knew was that it hurt. It hurt bad, and she hated it. 

Drew lived as a constant reminder of her failure, a burning portrait of her sister. Despite their differences, there were the little things that sent tears springing to her eyes every time she noticed them. The slight tilt of her head and the narrowed eyes when challenging somebody, the way her dark hair flowed freely down her back. The arch of her arm when she held a knife. Drew was eerily reminiscent of her sister, and it seemed almost as if the ghost of Silena followed her still, taunting her. 

The tension between her and Drew was almost palpable, but it only took a phone call from Clarisse’s mother to go speak to the girl again. That particular day, it was during spar practice that she initiated conversation. 

“Drew,” she called. The girl looked up from her nails, standing in the other line with Sherman. She had firmly decided to avoid her at all costs, partnering up with any other person. “Come here.” 

The younger Aphrodite kids looked confused, and exchanged some murmurs but Sherman yelled for them to join him. Drew glared at her, but reluctantly stalked over to where Clarisse was standing a little way away from the rest. She raised her eyebrows expectantly, dark eyes flashing with annoyance. 

Clarisse took a breath, sighing before speaking. “I'm heading off to college tomorrow.” 

Drew stared at her, waiting for her to continue. When she didn't, she curled her lip and spat her answer. “So?” 

She shrugged, eyes flicking to the ground. “I just wanted to let you know.” 

“I don't care.”  The girl’s gaze was hard with a blend of emotions, best summed up with ‘pissed off'. “What do you want me to do, cry?” 

“No!” Clarisse wanted to slap the girl across the face, but fought the urge. It was what Drew wanted, to pick a fight. “Just wanted to tell you. That's it.” 

Drew’s face twisted in a form of confusion. “Is this like, a secret? Chiron didn't announce it the other day.” 

She felt her shoulders loosen a bit. “Not really. I just, I didn't want to say it.”

“Okay.” And then Drew turned on her heel and left, walking straight back to the line. Clarisse watched her go, feeling something odd and empty in her chest. The girl’s dark curls swept across her back, brushing loosely at her lower ribs. Like Silena’s had. Suddenly it didn't matter that Drew was almost three inches shorter than Silena had been, or that her skin was a few shades lighter, or that her eyes were brown and not blue. None of that mattered, because in front of her, the only thing she could see was Silena, stalking haughtily away from her. 

She let her go, something brutal and tearing in her chest. 

It was oddly late for a realization of its magnitude, but it came to her there, on the sands of the arena as Drew wielded her knife. Silena lived on in her sister, in her flesh and her mind. Born of the same blood and raised by her, Drew had known Silena better than almost anybody else. She had mirrored her in every way possible, even taking up her sister's preferred shade of pink to be just like her. Drew didn't wear pink now, face clear of color save for sharp, cutting black eyeliner. 

Drew was the legacy of Silena, less her clone than her apprentice, her daughter, the proof of her existence. She knew Silena like nobody else. And finally, it struck her. Clarisse needed to protect her. She had to, because Drew was the only thing left of Silena in the world. 

And she was so, so stupid. Going to college halfway across the country, far from the only thing that mattered anymore, too far to watch over her. Maybe she should stay. Tell her mother she had suddenly changed her mind. Preserve the life of this girl, the memory of the one Clarisse had loved. 

Her thoughts battled in her head through the rest of the day and into the night, leaving her unable to rest as her fingers twitched for a phone. It was unreasonable to force Drew to be under her watch at basically all times, plus Camp was the safest place in the world. There was no reason to be so paranoid. 

But emotions didn't listen to logic, and the fear of leaving Silena’s little girl weighed deep into her chest, crushing her ribcage and sinking into her heart. It was past midnight and that fear kept her eyes wide open and her body trembling. Clarisse rolled over, desperately trying to ease her worry. Drew would be fine. 

Finally, at some point around 2am, Clarisse managed to drift off into a state of half sleep, thoughts forming and slipping away from her before they could become coherent. She briefly managed to register the distant lightening of the sky before she shut down completely, exhaustion sweeping her body and knocking her out. 

She woke to the bustling of her cabin and the aching of her chest, her siblings rummaging around and shoving things into bags because they would be leaving too. Clarisse pushed herself to a sitting position, spending half a second panicking about her own packing, before remembering she had already done most of it after her mother had called. Slipping from her bunk, she tugged off her pajamas and pulled on a camp shirt and her cargo pants. She shuffled to collect the remainder of her stuff, her siblings stepping aside to make room for her. 

They all made it to breakfast without much fanfare and only one fistfight (promptly broken up by Clarisse yanking them apart and snarling) which was a win for her. It was a quiet affair, most of the usual chattering subdued. Clarisse scanned the dining pavilion briefly for Drew, recognizing the girl's dark hair quickly. She was fine. She would be fine. 

Lost in her ruminations, Clarisse barely noticed it when Drew turned to face her, deep brown eyes meeting hers. She flinched, and Drew quirked an eyebrow, a vivid copy of her sister before returning to her meal, leaving Clarisse paralyzed as if she were in ice again. 

She hastily finished eating and ran back to her cabin, sweeping together her things. Maybe it was good that she was leaving. They needed space, because Clarisse couldn't keep freezing every time Drew did something remotely similar to Silena. Silena was dead, she reminded herself, pushing aside the way her throat tightened and her heart burned. Silena was dead, and she had to move on if she wanted any kind of normalcy back. But somewhere deep in her chest knew that she couldn't, she never really would. She was the reason that Silena, the person she had loved most, was dead. Mercy was not an option for her. 

Pulling her duffel over her shoulder, Clarisse took a final look over the cabin, wondering half heartedly if she would ever see it again. It was a question that nagged at her at the end of every summer, if she would die before the next. She never did, though, and she had a feeling that this year would be the same. 

Clarisse stepped outside, ambling towards the hill as her siblings piled into the cabin, scrabbling over each other to grab their things. As she neared the end of the strawberry fields, quick footsteps sounded behind her, making her turn, hand moving instinctively for a weapon. The sight of Drew surprised her much more than a monster would have. “Clarisse!” The girl called, voice just the barest bit raspy from her running. 

She offered her a small smile, which Drew tentatively gave back before opening her mouth to speak again. Clarisse tried not to laugh for sheer relief that Drew had actually come to speak to her. 

“What's up?” She asked, setting her duffel on the ground. Drew’s mouth moved wordlessly for a few seconds, before she swallowed and spoke. 

“Don't go.” The words were barely a whisper, desperate and childish, so contrary to her behavior from only earlier that morning. It took Clarisse by surprise, and it was all she could do to prevent from just standing there and gaping. 

“What?” 

“Don't go.” Drew repeated. “Stay.” 

Clarisse felt her throat tighten as the girl looked up at her with big brown eyes, wide and pleading. She could stay. She could call her mom right now and tell her that she wasn't coming home. It was so easy. 

But she couldn't give in to the whims of a girl. Her future depended on attending college. She couldn't give up her life just because this girl was Silena Beauregard’s sister. 

She would, though. It was stupid and irrational and she would do it. 

“I... Drew.”  

“You're like her.” The girl blurted, words spilling from her mouth. She was wearing pink eyeliner. Did she look like that at breakfast? You're like her. What nonsense. Clarisse was nothing like Silena. 

“Drew.” Clarisse paused, choosing her words. “I'm going to go.” 

“Please.” She whispered, and Clarisse froze again at the look on her face. Soft and pouty, eyes glassy with terrified unshed tears. Just like Silena’s had been the day she died. She couldn't stay. It wasn't possible because the rip in her chest just kept on tearing and if she didn't go she would be slashed straight in half. 

“No.” She said softly, placing a calloused hand on Drew’s soft face. “I have to leave.” 

The girl’s face twisted in anguish. “You- you're the only thing left of her, Clarisse please.”

“I know.” Her voice was barely a breath in the air, shimmering between them. “I know.” 

It must have dawned on Drew that nothing would change her mind, because the daughter of Aphrodite nodded and took a step back, staring at the ground. “Okay.” 

“Call me.” Clarisse said suddenly. Her hands moved for her pocket and she pulled out a pen, clicking it open. “Call me, here, here's my number.” She rummaged for a paper and retrieved a crumpled napkin, scribbling her phone number onto the thing and handing it to Drew. 

The girl stared at her with the paper in her hands, confused. “Won't it attract monsters?” 

She shrugged, pocketing the pen. “Don't really care. Most of them can't get inside anyway.” 

Drew looked up at her, then back at the paper before pushing it into her own pocket. She looked back up at her, and after a moment her arms spread and she leapt onto Clarisse, wrapping herself tight and taking her by surprise yet again. Things were developing very rapidly and very strangely. Clarisse put her hands on Drew's back, patting it gently. 

“Don't fucking die.” Drew said fiercely, pressing against Clarisse’s ribcage. She laughed softly, cupping a hand at the base of the other girl’s head. 

“You neither.” 

The hold around Clarisse’s chest loosened a little as Drew looked up at her. “You knew her better than anyone else. I need you.” 

She slowly blinked down at her, staring into those sharp brown eyes. I need you. Clarisse closed her eyes and pressed Drew closer, holding her tight. “Take real good care.” She murmured after a minute, letting her go. Drew took a step back, eyes watery but face determined. Clarisse could feel her eyes stinging too, but blinked hard before tears could come. 

On the other side of the hill, there was a car honk. Argus was ready. “Bye now.” She said, giving Drew a wave as she picked up her bag. “Until next time.” 

There was a finality about it as she faced the girl for the last time, the ghost of Silena only a few feet away. “Till next time, Clarisse.” Drew repeated, voice steady as she crested the hill. 

[aisa-newaccount]

waiting for your readings aisa. But why do you keep on deletin ur accs?

Hi! Great question! This will be a long post, so please only read if you have the time to read it.

For context, I joined Tumblr as @/aisabts and did readings continuously for bts tarot. But it felt unfulfilling after a bit and the community was overwhelmingly full of negativity so I decided to leave. I made a lot of great friends on Tumblr both readers and nonreaders alike, so I contacted them separately on a non-tarot account, and they encouraged me to come back as a reader. I thought why not after some time and came back some time in 2022 or 2023 (can not remember).

I started doing readings again as @/aisanakismet then settled down to @/aisaariel. In case anyone was wondering, "Kismet" because it's an Arabic/Persian/Turkish term for fate and destiny. I was hoping my blog would be a place where a lot of people can interact and heal with one another. I also wanted to offer guidance to those who wanted to reach out and chat with me. "Ariel" from The Little Mermaid because I was thinking about changing my username once and for all and had "Under the Sea" play in my head a bunch. I also liked how Ariel got her voice back from Ursula in the end. Lots and lots of powerful symbolism that I loved.

I deleted @/aisaariel due to personal life circumstances. Some of you all may remember my posts about going on hiatus or taking breaks due to things that kept happening in my life. I was not lying at all. Truly, so many different things happened during 2023 and 2024 that I would have never expected, and I was almost never logged in to Tumblr except a couple times I visited to chat with friends, do a couple readings here and there, and catch up on what was going on in the Tumblr community. I felt there was really no point in keeping the blog going because I would not have been able to consistently fulfill my responsibilities as a reader.

I deleted my blog and I lingered. I saw some anons mentioning me and how they were upset about how I left and I never thought that anyone would necessarily care or notice! The goal was to quietly delete my blog. At that point, a lot of my long-time tarot friends were inactive or deleting their blogs too so I no longer felt called to stay either. I came back and even announced myself in bts tarot since a lot of you all found me through bts tarot because I thought it would be nice to still continue aisaariel but do general readings for you anons specifically rather than any kpop readings.

But, alas, I'm sad to say that I think it's really time for me to go. I deleted @/aisaariel for a reason and I do not think I should start this blog only to not be able to commit to it and possibly delete it again in the future after doing readings.

Thank you to all of you all that reached out to me with such warm welcomes and I am really sorry that I am letting some of you down by leaving again. Whether you liked me or not, were rude to me or not, thought/think I'm just seeking attention with this blog/post or not, I will really miss every single one of you. You all are really really really special people who deserve lots of love, happiness, and blessings in this world. I cannot imagine how my life would have been without interacting with you lovely life fighters and warriors! (This is a compliment. I was always so impressed by how you all were so resilient no matter what happened in your lives.) Please know that any and all "Aisa" readings were done solely through the guidance of my tarot cards, intuition (checked so many times to make sure it was not my personal bias or opinion affecting the reading), and spiritual guides. All readings were completely authentic and each post was a virtual manifestation of my love, time, energy, and efforts.

If I ever hurt anyone's feelings throughout my time here, please know that I did not intend on that at all. I have always genuinely wanted to have a good time here with everyone and to share and stand for love and positivity. I can confidently swear that I have never partaken in any form of online bullying, hating, or fighting. Whenever/If I had an issue with someone, I specifically reached out via Tumblr messages to talk about it, not harass or attack someone. I do not know if there was/is anyone (hopefully not), but if someone said/says I partook in any form of "hatred" or "drama" for whatever reason, please know that they are lying and spreading false rumors about me.

I trust that above all, I Aisa am known and remembered for my integrity and credibility as a tarot reader and my love for the readings I have done in this tarot community. From today and on, there will be no return of Aisa (me) as a tarot reader in the community ever again. I will only linger and see what is going on in the community from time to time whenever life allows me to do so.

Thank you so much for the support you all have shown me, and I love you all endlessly.

"The vision of your true destiny does not reside within the blinkered outlook of the naysayers and the doom prophets." Don't ever let anyone discourage you from embracing yourself, your dreams, and your future.

Live on, shine on, love on.

Love, 愛sa

[pettyrevenge-base]

Keep pestering me to tie into my fence? Say goodbye to the fence!

A previous home I owned had previously been rented, and that tenant had thrown up a quick little chain link fence for his dog. Had the corners right at the corner of the house, just a quick fix that got the job done. I don't have a dog, so fence, no fence, didn't matter to me.

The DAY I moved in my very young neighbor came over and asked since she ran a daycare from her house (that was a whole other nightmare) she'd really like to put up a fence, and to save money could they just tie into mine and save the cost of fencing an entire side of the fence.

Now, I may be younger, but I'm not dumb. I knew that if they did that they would be fencing in part of my property, and after a certain number of years with their maintenance of it they would then own that property between our houses. Now, we're not talking alot here, the houses were maybe 15 feet across, but if they did that they would own everything up to the edge of my house. Even my air conditioner unit would be on their "property". So, I told her this, and said no, she cannot now or ever tie into the fence.

Mentioned that interaction with my realtor, and she about threw a fit- seems this person tried asking her the same thing and she told her the same thing.

Now if this was just a one time trying her luck thing it wouldn't be a big deal, but she kept asking off and on for a few years, and I kept saying no. Even the husband came over to ask, maybe to intimidate a single woman? Still said no.

I even did the research, and got the actual property line map that showed exactly where our property lines were.

One day I saw a whole bunch of chain link fencing in their back yard....but not nearly enough to fence all the sides they needed to do. They were going to try and tie in anyway, despite me repeatedly telling them no.

So, that night I took down, rolled up the fence, and dug up every single fence post.

Now the neighbor had to come out and watch the kids she was supposed to be watching, because my fence wasn't there anymore so the kids had more avenues to escape. Plus, it took them a bit longer to order more of the chain link fence and posts they suddenly needed.....

When I sold the house I gave the new owner, a single man, a care package which included the official property line map and a note to watch those neighbors like a hawk. My realtor (yep, same one, I loved her so much I used her again) knew the ENTIRE story and gave him the run down as well.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge