#every episode he trips over his own dick and i love that for him

[ellieellieoxenfree]

the filipino version of what's wrong with secretary kim? is SO sweet and funny and charming that i'm kicking my heels every episode but i also really, really need to know why kim and her sisters are eating what appears to be a bowl of ramen noodles on hot dog rolls

[nameless-jamie]

Binged the PA reader x Jamie tartt and wondering how she dealt with him in the episode where Roy attached strings to each of them

Strings

Masterlist

Jamie Tartt x fem! PA reader

A/N: I love this idea! Let's see, I hope I did your vision justice.

TW: vulgar language

AFC Richmond’s training sessions had always been weird, but this? This was a new level.

Jamie stood in the middle of the pitch, hands on his hips, watching his teammates squirm uncomfortably. Every single one of them—him included—had a string tied around their, well, bits.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Y/N stood a few meters away from the team beside Ted and Roy, arms crossed, staring at the absolute disaster unfolding before her.

That was the curse of being Jamie Tartt’s personal assistant. Sure, most of the job involved handling his schedule, making sure he showed up to meetings, and ensuring his expensive, ridiculous skincare routine didn’t run out of products he insisted were life-changing. But it also meant this. Standing on the pitch, watching him do unbelievably stupid things, and making sure he lived to see another day.

“Now, I know this looks a little unusual,” Ted was saying, “but in Japanese culture, they have a myth that all soulmates are connected by an invisible red string. And those strings are attached to each of their little fingers.”

Jamie looked confused and asked. "Ok, but why is it tied around our dicks then?"

"Yeah, well, you know, that was Roy's idea actually..." Ted grinned pointing at the latter, who looked rather pleased with himself.

Y/N, standing at Roy's side, tried very, very hard not to laugh.

And Jamie, of course, had the biggest smirk on his face.

“Gotta say, coach, this is a new one,” he said, grinning. “What’s next? Gonna tie us all together by our nipples?”

“I mean, that’s an idea,” Ted mused. “But I’d rather not give HR another reason to call me in for a chat.”

“You know, when I signed up for this job, I had a lot of expectations,” Y/N mused, arms crossed as she watched AFC Richmond’s finest prepare for what could only be described as The Dumbest Drill of All Time. “None of them involved making sure my boss didn’t snap his dick in half.” She said rather towards Jamie's general direction than to Ted.

Jamie shot her a grin. “Babe, if my dick’s ever gonna break, I’d at least want it to be in a more entertaining situation.”

She rolled her eyes, biting back a smile. “You wish I’d dignify that with a response.”

“Oh, I do.” He smirked.

Y/N shook her head, biting back a smile as she made a mental note of the flirting. “You know Ted, I'll add ‘involuntary group castration’ to the list of things I never thought I’d witness at work.”

The American just chuckled at that and explained the purpose of the drill further. Something about how constant movement requires constant concentration...

Jamie turned to her again, tilting his head. “Babe, don’t pretend you ain’t enjoyin’ this.”

“Oh, I am,” she admitted. “Mostly because I get to watch you suffer.”

He gasped dramatically, pressing a hand to his chest. “You’re evil. Thought you were supposed to take care of me?”

“Yeah, well, I draw the line at testicular rehabilitation.”

Ted clapped his hands. “Alright, fellas! The goal is simple—move together as a unit and most importantly, do not break the strings.”

“You break it,” Roy growled, “you suffer.”

The team collectively winced.

Jamie, however, just shot Y/N a wink. “Bet you’d be well devastated if somethin’ happened to my—”

“If you finish that sentence, I won't ever re-order the discontinued brand of hair gel you use, you know that you won't find it anywhere without me.”

Jamie barked out a laugh, but before he could push his luck further, the drill began.

It went badly immediately. As expected.

The moment they took their first synchronized step, Colin tripped over his own feet, yanking poor Sam in the process, which led to a horrifying chain reaction of agony.

“FUCK.”

“OH MY GOD.”

“I CAN’T FEEL MY BALLS.”

Then one team was suddenly attacking and pushing forward. Jeff, the defender whose bits are tied to Jamie's...well bits, started to abruptly run in the opposite direction with the ball.

"Jeff, wait. No No NO, NOOO Jeff. AAAAHHHH."

SNAP.

A sudden ripping sound was heard then Jamie Tartt screamed in agony. Even Y/N and Roy flinched at that.

Bumbercatch picked up the loose string that once was tied around Jamie from the ground in utter shock and winced.

Jamie nearly keeled over, grabbing Dani for support.

A chorus of pained groans rang out across the pitch. Players clutched their private parts in sympathy for their teammate, while Dani only whispered, “Football is life… but sometimes, football is pain…”

Y/N, still watching this spectacle, took a slow, deep breath—

And then lost it.

Laughter exploded out of her, completely uncontrollable. "Oh my god—Jamie—" she gasped, actually bending over as tears welled in her eyes. "That was tragic—"

Jamie, still hunched over in agony, shot her the most betrayed look she’d ever seen. "Oi, you're not supposed to laugh at the person who writes your paychecks!"

"I can't help it!" she wheezed, barely able to get the words out. "This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life and I've seen 'Hangover' about 200 times."

Ted, ever the optimist, walked towards Jamie and clapped him on the back. "Hang in there, sport. You’ll be fine, good story to tell your kids someday."

Jamie groaned dramatically, still not straightening up. "Dunno, coach, feels like I just lost all hope for future generations."

With that, Jamie pulled the hamstring on his pants to take a look at 'little Jamie'. He nodded toward Dani beside him, to confirm everything was intact.

"It’s okay, his penis is okay!” Dani declared cheerfully as if Jamie hadn’t just seen his entire life flash before his eyes.

Jamie glared at him, breathing heavily. “Dani, I swear on me life—”

Roy, completely unimpressed, scowled at him. "Get your head out of your ass, you’re fine, Tartt."

"Am I?!" Jamie cried. "Am I, Roy?!"

Roy didn’t dignify that with a response just shook his head with a pleased smile. One man's agony is another man's joy or whatever...

Y/N just sighed now, stepping forward and—against her better judgment—placed a hand on Jamie’s shoulder. “C’mon, drama queen, let’s get you some ice before you pass out from the tragedy of it all.”

Jamie, still crouched slightly, turned his big, pitiful puppy-dog eyes on her. “Now you’ll take care of me, yeah?”

She rolled her eyes, but her hand did move to the back of his neck, squeezing lightly. “It is in my job description to keep you in one piece.”

Jamie grinned, even through the pain. “Knew you loved me.”

She shoved him toward the medical bench.

“Shut up and sit down before I let you suffer.”

[mikuni14]

I am so inspired by this post from @miss0atae. I completely agree with every word 💖 I don't know if we see more in this series than there is actually in it (it wouldn't be the first time when fans have better thoughts and ideas about productions than the creators themselves ^^), also these are only two episodes, but I want to believe that the series wants to deconstruct "one true love", "fated lovers" tropes, the clinging to the past, idealizing it and idealizing loved ones, living in illusion, and the meaning of painful sacrifice.

The worst thing about all this is that San has a lot of time in which he is stuck and does not change, whereas he did not have this time 100 years ago. He didn't have time to experience love with all the good and the bad, because his romance with Wat was short-lived and all the time San and Wat were on cloud nine, they had no opportunity to create A RELATIONSHIP, live together, get to know each other from other sides, also the not so good ones. SAN ALSO HAD NO TIME TO MOURN WAT'S DEATH. His decision to wait for reincarnated Wat was made under the influence of great emotions, overwhelming pain, even in a frenzy. Would San do the same a month after Wat's death? Maybe, maybe not. In this episode alone, the series touched on mourning the loss of a loved one in the words of Vee's grandmother and Vee himself (whose words come as a shock to San, who never even thought of such a thing).

It seems to me that San did not know Wat fully, that he created an idealized image of her (which is not difficult, because Wat was just a good person, she was nice and loved San sincerely), especially since he said about her several times that "he must repay her for being kind to him", which is not a very good foundation for love.

I also got the impression that his problem with Vee wasn't so much that he was a guy, but that he wasn't exactly Wat. San catches himself repeatedly, finding Wat's smile in Vee's smile, her actions in his actions. But what he is most upset about is that Vee is simply different, that he has wet dreams about him, that Vee is direct and openly flirtatious, that he might be a criminal - meaning, that he is everything that the perfect Wat was not. And the fact that Vee being a guy is not such a big problem (though of course it is to some extent) is proven by the fact that in his dream San is not an nervous, tripping over his own legs, but he is just going to town if you know what I mean 😎 If it was only about Wat, about her reincarnation "awakening" and about San being straight, this dream would be ABOUT HER. And it's not 😆

Even though San is a dick, I honestly feel sorry for him. He was an ordinary young man, who met a beautiful and good girl, who helped him and with whom he fell in love, who, under the influence of unprocessed grief, made a decision that required incredible strength, self-denial and endurance, who "preserved" himself by maintaining himself the same, because he dreamed that he would just survive these 100 years when Wat would simply appear and EVERYTHING WILL BE AS IT WAS. That he and Wat… will simply jump into that happy moment just before the tragedy, that they will somehow, of all the people in the world, manage to step into the same river twice. This is clearly visible in the fact that he is a "grumpy grandpa" and not a "hip and modern grandpa", and this is because he chose to stay in the past, because he did not consciously adapt to the present (to remain the same for Wat), or as Okita Makoto from Oppan says: he didn't update himself 😄 (which raises an important question: would this old, not updated version of him would appeal to contemporary Wat?)

I really feel sorry for him, because San denied himself development, refused to participate among the community, in his city (not just his neighbourhood), in the world, and to establish relationships other than those with his immediate family. HE DENIED HIMSELF A NORMAL LIFE. And now this ordinary life is forcing itself into his preserved life and San is completely unprepared for it and panics. Nothing is as he thought it would be, the scenarios he probably created after every night of pain that kept him hopeful and sane are NOT COMING TRUE. Vee destroys his so carefully built and nurtured world, his illusions and ideas about perfect love, perfect Wat and perfect life, which he was so sure was already waiting for him around the corner. I'm really not surprised that he panics, because for the first time a terrible thought appears in his head: that he may have wasted these 100 years of pain, that for others what he did may seem stupid and unnecessary and that there is no reward at the end. And how is he supposed to reevaluate his entire existence overnight?

[smidgen-of-hotboy]

I'm not the person who asked but 👁👁 may I inquire as to the spoilery season 5 problems

Understand that everything I'm about the say Under the Cut, comes from a place of bias. Bias that truly does love the Juno Steel storyline, bias that absolutely hates the plot direction Kabert took with the last two seasons

Slip Jackson. He is the plothole they wrote, the corner Kabert backed themselves into and had to write themselves out of. The one NO ONE ASKED FOR but they wrote in anyways to explain "this is what happened After Nureyev saved NK and killed Mag". I cannot stress enough how pissed off and annoyed Slappery Junkyard makes me from a plot standpoint.

Too many plot devices disguised as characters. Every other episode the listener and Juno is introduced to someone new. And every other episode they are forgotten about and we move on to the next. This is the equivalent I feel to early TMA and early WTNV monster of the week and even early TPP where Juno is solving one case after the next-

Only this time Juno's chasing after Nureyev across the fucking galaxy. I love Juno with all my heart, but it still is super annoying that all of season 5 is spent of him chasing after Nureyev, getting tripped up, chasing after Nureyev, getting tripped up, wash rinse repeat. Especially more annoying and upsetting when you factor in that Nureyev blatantly does not want to be followed (but me and every other listener is a fucking sucker for a hopeful fool and dramatic love story. If this happened to someone you actually knew, you wouldn't encourage or condone Juno's behavior, but because the Lady isn't real and it's all a work of fiction and Juno is the Hero, ofc we're all cheering him on)

Grandpappy's recipe. We're given a hint of worldbuilding to the rest of the galaxy, and Juno shows some appreciation towards Rita, but it is not her storyline. It is not Rita-centric. And the depiction of Nureyev in these couple of episodes (i don't know how anyone else felt) came so far out of left field for me, that I almost didn't believe what Juno and Rita were saying about him. Something along the lines of Nureyev is a con, and he sweet talks and seduces all of his targets into falling for him, before ultimately turning on them and stealing from their pockets. The Homme Fatale thing gets really pushed, and it's like everything discussed in Man in Glass never happened.

The amazing moment in Heart of it All when he reminds Buddy "a legend is a dead thing" (and by extension the discussion he had with her in Man in Glass) might as well never fucking happened. Peter goes the entirety of season 5 with his head so far up his own ass, he can't see past his own bullshit, until it's literally 10 minutes too late.

Nureyev is deliberately rude towards Juno (who did cross a boundary MULTIPLE TIMES) but is also extremely fucking dismissive of the Ruby7 being anything but a car (it's not, it's an alien from outside of this galaxy and Nureyev cannot accept that for some reason, but he can totally get behind reviving his long lost first love???)

OH AND RITA!!! POOR POOR FUCKING RITA OMG- Juno is a massive fuckin dick to her in Season 1, he promises to do better for her at end of Season 2, and she is the first Aurinko he rescues in Season 4 because he knows without her he won't be of much use. Rita is supposed to be Juno's backbone, but she's more like the brace he wears when he needs it. The Rita episode in Season 3 is framed as a good thing for her character and meant to be a confidence boost, but it's really not. And Season 4 I don't remember, but literally in Season 5 Rita is sidelined and put over on the bench because she "makes too many mistakes" on missions. Juno dresses it up as "You're our ace in the hole" but cmon. Come the fuck on.

[iguessitsjustme]

Love Sea Ep 4 & 5 Thoughts

Okay. As I’m writing this, I know I’ve been gone from tumblr for at least a week (I was back(ish) a day earlier than expected. Weeeeee) Possibly more. So it’s been a minute since at least episode 4 aired. So I’m lumping it in with my episode 5 watch next week. And if y’all think just because I’m not on tumblr, I’m not liveblogging…well of course I am. My wrist does hurt though so I’m not sure how talkative I’ll be. I am also having a bad brain day and I have had a whole weekend full of absolute shit. And my week is going to be…tiring. I’ll be on a plane, a road trip in a car, and then a train. All in the span of like…4-5 days. Don’t ask. Anyway that will be in the past by the time I post this. Time to watch. As always, liveblog under the cut and will likely have criticism. You’ve been warned before you click:

“Every meeting ends with a farewell” please tell me they aren’t going to try to be deep right now. They have not done nearly enough to build up Rak’s side of feelings for me to believe he’s feeling introspective at leaving this place. He pretty much hated it here for the most part. I could maybe understand if it was Mut since he just apparently immediately fell in love because he believes in love. And believing in love means automatically falling in love with the standoffish guest that you’ve been fucking.

Okay the heart of my issue with Rak and Mut can be perfectly encapsulated in this scene where Rak learns that Mut has a pickup truck. “And did I ever tell you I didn’t have a pickup?” Sir, what you feel for Rak is not love. Because if you actually loved him and cared for him, you would have heard his complaints about the motorcycle and the cargo tricycle and used the pickup truck for him instead. He literally told you the motorcycle hurt him to ride and still you did nothing. Because it means more for you to have this weird sense of superiority over Rak than it does to make sure he’s comfortable and not in literal pain. I had a more caring relationship with my former coworker than this. Because I did something where I thought I was in the right but it was a petty argument and honestly, I could see how much she was hurting from it. So I apologized and I let her know that she was more important to me than being right. And that was for a COWORKER (now friend yay). Mut can’t even manage to do that with someone he supposedly likes romantically.

Why does Rak not get to be upset about this? Mut just immediately shuts it down by saying “let’s not end on a bad note.” Sir, you caused the bad note and made no apologies. Instead you laughed at Rak for daring to want some comfort while having no control over his own life while there. Like seriously. If you caused the pain, you don’t get to dictate when the hurt is done.

And the flashbacks again. Will we get some every damn episode? We’re 4 for 4 now.

Rak baby boy this doesn’t make any sense. Does Mut have a magic dick? I do not understand.

What.

Noisy sidewalk people go AWAY

So Mook is paranoid for her valid concerns about STDs? He should get tested. So should Rak. If memory serves, both sleep around. Mut with guests and Rak when he needs to write smut. And Rak has slept with Mut already. I know they used a condom each time, but he should still get tested too. Seriously. Rak’s wealth and fame won’t protect him from STDs.

Noisy neighbor go AWAY

Man I wish this show would just let Rak be aro without making it about trauma and him just being scared to love.

Am I supposed to care about this random woman at the end? Cause I don’t.

And I feel meh about this episode as well. See you in literally the bullet below for episode 5 but it will be a week for me. Time is weird man. Time is weird.

Time IS weird past Rae. And you were right, it was a tiring week. I’m finally caught up on shows though..sort of. I still might start another show tonight. Or maybe listen to an audiobook. I think I’m gonna return my library book and see if they have it on audiobook. If I thought my wrist hurt last week, that’s nothing compared to today. Mistakes were made on my trip. One was unavoidable and the other was…well I did an exercise and that was a mistake.

Anyway now for episode 5.

Rak should wear his glasses all the time. That is all (speaking of glasses…where did I put mine…)

I had issues with that whole scene but honestly I’m too tired to type them all out. Mut is not as smart as he thinks he is and that’s all I have to say.

Rak, sweetie, the waiter just stood there. You know that. You were there.

I’ve had guys say this to me after I told them I don’t like them. You will never guess the outcome of that.

Absolutely the fuck not. There is no way that any person with a uterus wrote this line. Because what the fuck. Why is it that Mook isn’t allowed to be upset with being sent all over yonder on an errand for someone who is NOT her employer and this is the response to her being upset? Believe it or not, people that have periods can be angry because of the actions of other people and not just because of their period. Yes, PMS is a thing, but it is not the only reason for anger. Who wrote this line? I just want to talk.

Save Mook. Save her.

I hate how Vie perpetuates the horrible stereotypes of women in order to manipulate Mook. It’s awful.

So let me get this straight. Mut…forced Rak to go out to eat with him (even though they could have gotten delivery) and then when they’re shopping and Rak has explicitly stated that he wants to leave, it is a “date” because Mut is interested in Rak and he says so. But Rak has stated he does not like Mut. So the whole thing doesn’t work because Rak DOESN’T WANT TO BE THERE. It’s not a date if they both don’t agree it’s a date. And to Mut, you can’t use Rak’s novels against him. Those are characters in fiction. They don’t represent Rak’s real feelings. I hate Mut. Have I mentioned that? I mean I’m not Rak’s biggest fan either but Mut is just…dumb. Rak should be able to argue against this it’s so dumb.

Most novels don’t have sound?? I mean there are audiobooks but the sound in those is typically just words. Unless it’s different in Thailand? I don’t know. Also maybe this is a translation thing? (This is me after the end of the episode and I get it. He was talking about what the author says the sound effect would be. I admit it, I was dumb here. I don't think it came across quite right in the translation but this is fully on me for being dumb. But also the sound mixing at the end? Do NOT get me started. It was bad and I wanted to die.)

If someone put all of my alcohol and snacks back while I was shopping AND paying for it…I would murder them on the spot. I beg your finest pardon Mut, but let Rak have snacks? The alcohol I’m less pressed about because he does have alcohol at home but the snacks? THE SNACKS? I hope Mut rots in hell. This is The Ultimate Sin to me. *guards my snacks with my life*

If Rak’s skin still looks that good on a diet of alcohol and snacks, then I will eat my hat. Also Mut mind yo business. You ain’t his doctor. C’mere Rak. I’ll give you some snacks.

Save Mook. Save her.

This family drama is so poorly written. I feel bad for the actors who are killing it in this scene. They deserve a better script.

I did not hate the end of that episode. Or the scene in the dressing room. Mut's response to the drama was...he still has some work to do on boundaries but it wasn't bad. He did eventually respect the boundaries and they had some good communication in that dressing room. I don’t like that he had to be screamed at before he left Rak alone, but he didn’t walk to Rak which I was so scared he was gonna do and the show was gonna paint it as romantic.

The preview for next week has me concerned though. I probably won’t like episode 6. But that’s all for this week…and last. My wrist hurts and I need a nap.

[disniq]

Season 1, episode 3, "Origins"

Prepare to get flashbacked, folks.

So, previously; Dawn was thrown off a roof, Rachel was kidnapped by The Family. And now, conveniently, Kori is parked below just the building right in time to see Rachel bundled into a sensible family car.

We get an entirely unnecessary flashback of Kori finding a photo in Rachel's house and killing a cop, which does nothing to show how she got from there to here but just go with it.

She follows The Family, who are on route to their boss. They stop at a gas station, and Kori takes the opportunity to burn Dad alive. (She also blows up the bathroom Rachel is in, but it’s fine, shh, “I think you’re safer with me.”)

This is what every family trips feels like when you're a queer neurodivergent

Dawn is in a medical coma at the hospital, and this somehow leads into another flashback of a young Dick with his social worker.

Bruce Wayne wants to foster him! Isn’t that great news, sure that won’t end badly for anyone.

Young Dick is taken to the huge castle-esque manor (which i love, btw) and shown to a bedroom so bougie it has it’s own chandelier and a walk-in closet already filled with teenage-boy sized clothes.

Bruce, dude. You’re coming on a little strong here.

Alfred is the only one a little dubious about this development;

(This is why the killed Alf off-screen.)

Unsurprisingly, Dick takes this as his cue to run away.

Back in the present, Dick gets a lead from a police colleague despite the fact that he just walked out a week ago and never went back to work lol. She helpfully tells him Rachel has been spotted on cameras with a a six foot black woman with magenta hair, who leaves charred bodies in her wake.

Meanwhile, Rachel and Kori head to the place in the photo, Saint Paul’s convent and bond over having uncontrollable powers and a total lack of understanding about themselves!

They stop at a diner, and Kori fucks some guys up for harassing the waitress to a disco soundtrack which is, undeniably, pretty dang cool.

More flashbacks - I’m so sorry, the pacing of this episode is a mess - and Dick social worker is very insistent that Dick give Bruce another chance. If only you knew, lady.

I do like the stylistic choices here, though. Having Bruce being almost entirely absent from these scenes makes his presence feel like the looming, intimidating thing it probably was, especially in the shots of the big, broody, empty Manor that young Dick is left to wander alone.

During one of those wanderings, he finds the garage full of classic cars and, rapscallion that he is, takes one for a joyride.

Remember when you antagonised the police, Dickie. Fun times.

Kori and Rachel reach the convent, which it turns out they have both been to before. Rachel was sheltered here as an infant with her fake mom, and Kori came by a year ago in her search for Rachel. It’s all very Nuns of the Chattering Order, and yes that does make Rachel the lost antichrist.

There’s an arcade down the street that Kori has a mysterious locker key for, so she takes Rachel there and exchanges the key for… a second key!

Rachel gets to eat, play some pinball, and meet a fellow protagonist!

Dick - who used his super secret Bat-tech to track Kori’s numberplate - also turns up at the arcade. For plot convenience, he gives Kori the benefit of the doubt despite her record thus far and both of these untra-violent people actually talk out a problem from once! Yay!

You, ah. You forgot the *checks notes* six counts of murder so far.

Turns out the cops think Rachel killed her fake-mom, so Dick, who a day ago was looking to wash his hands of this kid, suddenly feels responsible for her. Kori, who gently kidnapped Rachel for entirely self-serving purposes, has also apparently decided over the course of the last half an hour that she too can't let Rachel out of her sight, so they all go back to the convent together.

This is, unfortunately, what counts as relationship development in this show.

We get one final Baby Dick flashback, wherein Dick admits to his social worker that he’s not running away and stealing cars for fun, he’s running away and stealing cars so he can hunt down his parents’ murderer and kill them.

Bruce overhears this conversation, and leaves Dick a letter offering him a job better way.

Elsewhere, The Family (minus Dad) report to Dr Adamson, a creepy guy with an egg fetish who really wants Rachel to open the door. He magnanimously decides to give them one more shot.

Bet you thought I was kidding about the evils of heteronormativity, huh

ANYWAY, back to the convent and the A plot!

We get this conversation between Dick and Rachel, which I think informs a lot about Dick’s relationship with Bruce, and also his attitude towards Jason later.

Dick: Listen I need you to-- Rachel: What?! Trust you? “Other people can help”, is that it? No they can’t. They’ll just make promises, but in the end they’ll fail. They’ll all leave, just like you. Dick: Yeah, you’re right. Rachel: What? Dick: You’re on your own. No one can help you, not really. I was just like you once. Thought if I leaned on someone, if I trusted them, all the pain would go away. I was wrong. Anybody that tells you any differently is lying. The loss is here for good now, there is no getting over it. But you can control it, you can channel it. No one else can do that for you. Just you.

Kori takes the opportunity to steal Dick’s car, to head to the storage locker her second key opens, and Dick chases after her. Depite both of their promises not to abandon Rachel again, there they both go!

And, surprise surprise, the nuns immediatly drug the kid!

Turns out, the nuns want to lock Rachel in the basement to keep her away from her father and prevent her from being used to unleash evil upon the earth.

It… doesn’t go well for them.

Kori finds her Connecting the Dots meme storage locker, full of alien writing and pictures of Ravens. Dick shows up, and together they piece together enough of the murderboard evidence to decide Rachel is the Devourer of Worlds, part of a prophecy. WooOOoooOOOo *spooky hands*

They’re interrupted by a sudden earth-shaking explosion, because guess what?

Rachel BLEW UP THE FUCKING CONVENT

[Titans Rewatch]

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[vizowrites]

OOOH I GOT A GOOD BLITZSTRIKE IDEA FROM EPISODE 6!! So you know that blitz had a I'm assuming was a illusion with poorly drawn moxxie and striker, etc yea that but striker just came to save the day! Da da daaaaaa (I am morning drunk-)

I made a post about just how badly I needed this exact thing in my life so THANK YOU SO MUCH for sending it to meeeeeeeeeee!! <3 <3

Now normally I'm all for the AU idea of Striker joining I.M.P. and just kind of automatically jumping in as an official member of their unofficial family, but I have to say for this.....I actually kind of like it better if I stick more to the canon here. Striker's not a member of I.M.P., he's still got his angel weaponry and the bounty on Stolas's head to settle after the mishap at the Harvest Moon Festival, and--most importantly--hasn't crossed paths with Blitz [or any of the others for that matter] since.

He hadn't been expecting it to happen when it did that night, either.

There wasn't much on Striker's mind other than his target as he slithered his way through the servant's quarters entrance of Stolas's manor house, entirely uncaring of the numerous cameras and other security features that he passed along the way. He had it on good faith that they would just happen to be disabled that night--a pissed off royal birdie had told him so. He'd also been told exactly how to navigate his way through the house undetected, exactly which rooms to avoid, and exactly where he would find the "cheating prick" at this hour. What he hadn't been told--and what he'd deliberately chosen not to ask--was just what the Goetian Prince would be doing by the time he made his soundless entry into his study. There was a small part of him, somewhere deeper than he usually cared to try to reach, that couldn't help but think of a certain impressive imp Boss that might be involved. There was an even deeper part of him, though, that felt the sharp sting of conflict as he found he couldn't make up his mind on whether he was hoping to see said impressive imp Boss there or not, considering what he would probably be doing.

His tail unconsciously flicked once, causing Striker to coil it tightly around himself in order to prevent what would have become a full blown rattle otherwise. This was ridiculous. He was here for one thing and one thing only: he had a job to do.

A job he was fully intending to enjoy.

A slow grin spread across his face as he shrugged the strap of his angelic rifle down from his shoulder, catching the weapon effortlessly and feeling the warm sting of its power against his fingertips. He really was going to enjoy this, he thought to himself as he silently crept into the study, taking advantage of the many outrageously sized pieces of furniture casting shadows around the room to stay hidden.

Just one shot. He just needed one shot.

The flickering glow of what he presumed to be firelight seemed to beckon him, encouraging him, and before he knew it he had the butt of the rifle pressed firmly into his shoulder and his right hand hovering just beside the trigger--ready and waiting to take aim and fire. All he needed was one glance now, just enough to see where exactly Stolas was in the room, and then it would be over. The fact that he couldn't hear the owl demon moaning in ecstasy strangely pleased him at his core, confirming that he in fact wasn't enjoying the company of his favorite plaything tonight. Good. It meant he didn't need to spare a second thought for who else might get caught in the crossfire. Anyone else honestly wouldn't matter.

.....He tried to distract himself from thinking about that thought too deeply by finally taking his glance, trying to focus back on the one who didn't matter to him at all.

Instead, he found himself looking straight at the one being that did.

"Blitz--" The half-whisper caught in the back of his throat, thankfully stiffling the majority of the sound as Striker's eyes went wide. He didn't know how the hell Stolas was doing this--he didn't know this was something the Ars Goetia could do--but somehow, in the middle of what he'd previously thought was just a fireplace casting the twisting forms of light and darkness across the room, was a strange mirror-like orb that seemed to be reflecting an image to the Prince sitting across from it in one of his high-backed chairs.

An image of Blitz, tied to a much smaller chair, struggling as some strange green something started to pool beneath his feet.

What the flying fuck was happening?

"Oh darling, what have you gotten yourself into this time?" Stolas cooed from across the room, completely oblivious to the hitman staring at him as he watched the scene unfold before him as if it was his favorite daytime drama. "Let's be extra careful about what we say from here on out, shall we? You're not going to be very happy with me if I have to come down there and take my book back from your charming daughter. Especially since that's going to delay her rescuing of you by quite a bit."

Striker didn't know what to do. There was a part of him that felt the unmistakable urge to just raise his weapon and fire, to carry on with the plan just as he'd intended and figure out the rest from there. But there was that other, deeper, part of him that had frozen, leaving him unable to look at or think about anything other than the imp that was now spilling his guts out in whatever room he was in as easily as if he'd just been sliced open.

And the vermin was there with him--apparently tripping balls as he slumped into his own chair and started mumbling incoherently.

Perfect.

"Now just what is happening here?" Stolas murmured, his voice catching Striker's attention--that urge flaring up in him again, and yet, before he could think about whether or not to actually take aim at him, he instead watched as Stolas lifted his hand from beneath his chin and gave a little wave over the orb. The image within shifted, rippling as if it were made of water, and when it finally settled again it was of something new:

Moxxie, now freed from his bonds, making his way up a marble staircase lined with candelabras towards a cape-wearing Blitz playing piano.....and they were both singing.

What. The. Fuck. Is. Happening??

"Ooohh my," Stolas chuckled delicately from behind his curved fingers, amusement sparking in his glowing crimson eyes as he watched the scene unfold. "Your little underling here has quite the imagination now, doesn't he? Well if his truth is this entertaining--" He lifted his hand once more, his fingertips hovering over the unnaturally glowing scene. "--I really must see yours now, Blitzy."

Don't--

Striker didn't know why he felt such a sudden surge of protectiveness for Blitz's privacy of all things in that moment, but seeing the image ripple again as it began to change had him biting his lip hard enough that he could feel it start to bleed. Just what the fuck was this asshole doing? Did he just get himself off to spying on Blitz like this?? At times when he's clearly in trouble and needing help that isn't prying into his drug-induced hallucinations??

If he'd been a better person, he would have killed Stolas then and there just to make this stop. But since he wasn't, his curiosity stilled his hands for another few moments as the window into Blitz's vison settled into view.

He didn't like any part of what he saw.

The memory of himself referring to Blitz as a "rodeo clown of a boss" came back to him with the viciousness of a bite, causing him to tense as he watched as Blitz--stumbling around in a clown costume--started getting tormented by voices and swirling figureless masses of color. The first to solidify was Moxxie, spewing bullshit that honestly Striker could barely care to keep up with, except for the fact that it was so obviously berrating Blitz for.....something. Just what the hell did Blitz care what that little baby dick had to say? He knew he was better than that.

.....Didn't he?

Striker felt his grip on the rifle loosening as he sank back fully onto the floor, his pale eyes glinting and his tail starting to vibrate hard against his shirt. He tried to muster up every ounce of his self control, willing it to stop before the rattling sound tipped off Stolas--only for his tail to go utterly still as something very similar lashed its way around Blitz's throat and threw him to the ground.

And there he was, staring at himself.

"But you don't want to do things alone Blitzo!"

Hearing himself--not himself, that wasn't even his fucking voice--say that made his blood run cold with rage. How fucking dare whoever was doing this impersonate him like this! Using him to torment Blitz like this! And Blitz was seemingly actually buying it--wait, Stolas had called this Blitz’s “truth”.  Did this mean.....was this what Blitz thought of him?? What the fuck!? Since when the hell did Blitz ever hear Striker call him "Blitzo" once before in his life?? Never! He wanted to grab Blitz by the shoulders and shake him, screaming right into his face that he would never say his name like that when he knows damn well that the O is silent! Okay, so he might’ve called him “Blitzy” when they parted ways because he was bitter over Blitz choosing to stop him from killing Stolas instead of running off with him to take down Overlords--and that was his bad.  And yeah, he might've been trying to get on his good side to have an easier shot at killing Stolas, sure, but...that didn't mean that the things he'd said to Blitz weren't true! He really did want to be partners!

The scene changed again, another set of stairs, and Blitz frantically climbing up them to try and escape the figures that were literally haunting him--Striker feeling that cold burn spread in his chest at the sight of being one of them.

Though nothing could have prepared him for the tidal wave of feeling that would crash over him in the moment he saw just who was waiting for Blitz at the top of those stairs.

Stolas.

You Daddy Fucker.

"Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?"

Striker's fingers clenched so hard around his rifle that he thought he was going to snap it in two, his pale gold-green eyes fixed on the sight of Blitz crawling on his hands and knees up that glowing staircase, as golden chains fastened around each of his wrists and around his neck. The rest of the voices were lost to the roar of whitenoise now ringing in Striker's ears as he watched Stolas pull Blitz willingly onto his lap, holding him by that chain attached to the collar at his throat.....

"Oh Blitzy--!"

And when he heard that erotic gasp and saw that look on Blitz's face, he finally couldn't take it.

The next thing he knew, he was back in the hallway, making a beeline for the room that he'd been instructed to go to only after he'd finished the job. Oh he was going to finish it all right. He was going to finish it slowly and painfully. But there was something even more important that he had to finish first.

He honestly didn't remember what he'd said when he stormed into Stella's room. He didn't know how long he had been there and he had no idea how he got away with being there for any amount of time without her calling for security to run in and tackle him to the ground. Most of all, he had absolutely no idea what the hell kind of reason he could have possibly given for her to locate the party of imps on Earth and open him a portal to get to them--but whatever reason he gave must've been a pretty damn good one. The next thing he knew there was a glowing blue door literally opening in front of his face, revealing a blood soaked room and the now united beings of Hell trapped between a steel door and two human fuckers who were pointing pistols at their faces.

At Blitz's face.

The shots rang out one after the other, followed by the distinct meaty thuds of two bodies hitting the floor. Striker didn't particlarly notice the fact that the portal had closed behind him the minute he stepped into the room, rendering him just as trapped as the others, but he also didn't particularly care. That bird bitch was still going to get exactly what she wanted when he got back--he would make sure of it. But for now, at least, it was enough just to be able to stride over to that face--full of disbelief and shock--and cup it tenderly in his palm.

"You ain't gotta do jack shit alone, Blitz," he said, and the sincerity of his own voice shook him from the top of his head down to the soles of his feet. "You're not alone, Blitz."

He didn't know it until much much later, but hearing Striker say those words to him had made Blitz feel as though he'd just been handed the keys to his chains.

[vixenpen]

Okay so I got a idea. Can you do a scenario with Kirishima and bakugou (separately) were they are famous 18+ asmr artists. And when they get to the spicy parts the actually have you there. So there basically fucking you while recording. And things get really nasty

Bruh...this idea is so fucking hot to meee like, could you imagine??!?!?

ASMR Boyfriend (+18)

(Art by: @sakimichan )

“I hope you know how special you are, and how much you mean to me,” your boyfriend held your gaze. “You deserve all this and more, and if you ever doubt how I feel about you, I’ll make sure to correct that. Understand?”

You bit your bottom lip to avoid saying: ‘yes.’

Today’s episode was a Valentine’s Day livestream special which meant big bucks for you and your ASMRtist boyfriend, Eijirou Kirishima’s, date tonight.

Your role was tech support and...sound affects. You were supposed to be monitoring the chat to make sure everything was going well, but the way your boyfriend’s ruby eyes were boring into your own lustfully, had your full attention. It didn’t help that his voice had dropped an octave becoming heavy and sensual.

The comments were going crazy.

Yes daddy. Ily 💕

🥺🥺🥺

😍😍😍

Big daddy EJ loves me

“Let me show you what I mean, Pebbles.” He curled a single finger and winked, blowing a long strand of red hair out of his face.

You damn near tripped over the chords littering the floor to straddle his lap.

Kirishima chuckled, catching you by your ass and gripping it gently.

He kissed you softly eliciting a hum from you. Listening to your boyfriend flirt and seduce for thirty minutes straight all while giving you the deepest bedroom eyes he could muster always had you ready to go. Today was no different as he had been laying it on extra thick.

“Do you love me?” He asked, biting your lip.

Despite yourself, a small ‘mhmm’ slipped out.

He held your hips tight and ground you on to his clothed erection.

“Can you feel how much I love you?” He asked, eyes sparkling as he gazed up at you.

Before you could answer, his hands dipped beneath your shorts and stroked the heat building between your legs.

“Cuz I can definitely feel how much you love me.”

You moaned. Kirishima brought the mic closer. He pushed the material of your panties out of the way and hissed at the sensation of your cream coating his fingers.

“I can’t wait to fuck you, baby doll.”

I can’t either so hurry up and do it.

You thought to yourself, impatiently.

You ground into your boyfriend’s erection for some relief. The moans and smacks of your tongues colliding with one another grew more feverish.

The chat was going off like crazy as hundreds of horny listeners expressed their desires.

“Wanna taste you,” Kirishima managed to murmur as he whipped off your shirt.

His own shirt followed. You took in his perfectly sculpted physique bulging and flexing with muscle. He gave you a sharp toothed grin and you stifled a giggle.

“You’re so fucking cute, Pebbles.” He tapped your nose. “My sweet doll.”

Kirishima worked your shorts and panties down your hips.

His eyes dipped to the desire between your legs and his tongue slithered across his lips.

When his mouth descended on your hot sex, you stopped holding back, and let out a breathy scream.

“Taste just as good as you look, baby doll.”

“Oh god, Eiji.” You sighed as your boyfriend’s tongue massaged your folds and flicked at your clit.

He slipped his fingers in and out of your sex and lapped up your cum.

“Do you love me?” He asked.

“Yes,” you sighed quietly.

“Hmm?” He stroked into your gripping pussy harder.

“Yesss.” You replied, louder this time.

“I can’t hear you, Pebbles.” He stuffed two of his fingers, slick with your juice into your mouth and hoisted himself up over you.

Chest heaving, you watched as he pulled his thick, veiny member out of the jeans he had been wearing.

Without warning, Kirishima held your gaze and pummeled into you deep and hard, sending your back arching off the couch.

“Do. You. Love. Me?” He ground out, punctuating each word with a hard, deep stroke.

Your loud wails of: “Oh god! Yes, yes, yesss,” overlapped with the question.

The chat was singing like crazy as donations and comments poured in. However, it could barely be heard over the slapping and screaming of you and Kirishima’s sex.

As the chat went off in the background, your boyfriend lowered his lips to your ear and in a voice meant only for you said: “Happy Valentine’s Day, baby, we’ll have a real date tonight. I love you.”

“You can’t take it when I tease you, huh, brat?”

SMACK!

The thick leather kissed your bare ass, drawing out a whimper from you.

Bakugo chuckled. His crimson eyes met yours in the mirror set up across from his work station. Ever since you two had decided to spice up his ASMR streams, he had installed those cameras as a little extra incentive.

It just made the experience all the more hot.

“Look at you,” he chuckled, digging his fingers into your hips and pulling you back against the hard on poking through his black jeans. “Is this punishment or pleasure?”

He spanked you again. You jumped.

“Hard to tell when you’re giving me that desperate look. You slutty little brat.”

His nails ranked down your back. A long his of pleasure and pain escaped through your teeth and you arched in response.

“You like this way too much, don’t you?” He asked, a hint of sincerity slipping through in the question.

“Maybe I’ll just leave you here like this.” He jeered. “Let you just sit here. like the horny little brat you are.”

He stepped away from you, eying your round ass bent over before him lustfully. His grin was wicked as he gazed down at you.

You shot him a pleading look over your shoulder. You weren’t supposed to talk during his recordings until it came to the spicy parts, but sometimes Katsuki pushed it too far. You were so horny after watching him stroke his dick and talk shit for half an hour, you were this close to begging him to fuck you.

“Aww, look at you. You need daddy’s dick that bad?” He asked. “Fine, but you won’t get it that easy.”

Your sex clenched at the thought of what Katsuki had in store.

In an instant, he stood before you. He cocked his head and gave you his signature cocky smirk with an almost animalistic gleam in his red eyes that both scared and excited you.

“Suck daddy’s dick if you want it that bad.” He said in a voice so gruff and raunchy, your knees gave out.

Nimbly, you worked his angry looking flushed erection out of his pants and peppered the tip with kisses.

You kept your eyes on him as your tongue lolled out to taste every inch of his long member from top to bottom.

“Fuck yeah, babe, just like that.” He groaned, arms uncrossing to fall limply at his side.

You kept it up, stroking his dick as you juggled his heavy sack in your mouth.

“God, I love that fucking mouth of yours...”

Every praise and deep, shuddering moan went straight to your sex. You put on a show of slurping and groaning and smacking on his dick like it was a lollipop, both for the audio and to hear his cursing and shit talking babble.

“That’s it, ahh, fuck! That’s it right there.” He grabbed the back of your head and helped guide your bobbing head. “Daddy’s little freak. Nasty little slut. Fuck!”

His hips snapped forward, sack smacking your chin. You sat on your ankle and pressed down against it to offer some relief and much needed pressure to your aching clit.

“I’m gonna fucking cum, baby. I’m gonna cum in this filthy mouth of yours. You want that, huh? Huh?”

“Mmhmm!”

You felt Katsuki’s dick flex and with that, his hot seed burst into your mouth. With a sigh of satisfaction, your boyfriend slid out of your mouth.

He grabbed your jaw and brought you to your feet to meet him.

“Such a good girl now, aren’t you?” He smirked, brushing the dribble at the corner of your lips away with his thumb. “Guess daddy will have to reward his good girl now, won’t he?”

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

[w00wzerz]

🚃Ticket back to Life🚃

(All that matters in Titans s3 ep 9)

There is so much to talk about, so without further ado, lets get into it!

The episode begins with a seemingly defeated Bruce scanning over his will for a few seconds - hinting at the fact that he will harm himself or is planning to soon move on to the “other side.”

At this moment I had crinkled my bag of Doritos, placed them in the crack of my lap and sat in silence for a few seconds. My mind was working overtime to try and piece together just what the hell was going on. These were my initial thoughts: I would like to sincerely apologize to Dick Grayson and Jason Todd for ever having to put up with Bruce Wayne’s crazy ass. The man is coo coo, he’s unhinged! He’s deranged!

However, upon further evaluation of the scene, I came to the realization that this was simply Bruce’s call for help. He had lived his entire life by attempting to mask his pain, using anything in the book to deter his emotions. Until one day, he ultimately settled on taking in kids who he presumed had developed under similar circumstances.

What Bruce failed to realize is that playing the role of a parent is an upmost emotionally draining task - just ask my mother… By raising his own kids with a shit ton of baggage he would also be signing up to mountain theirs atop his own, crafting an incredibly unstable terrain that would inevitably come crashing down.

Now we know where Dick and Jason get their compartmentalism from.

Moving on to my girl Rachel in Themiscyra! You know things are pretty bad when Rachel starts to complain about training too much, seeing as that was all she ever did over at Titans tower.

However, it seems that her hard work has paid off as she has awakened a heightened sense of urgency in her movements - her coordination skills have also improved significantly, as shown below.

Such a badass scene! ☀️

Upon their very first introduction, it is safe to say that Donna establishes an instant connection with the terrified kid who jumped from the train - Tim Drake. It could be the gravitational pull and familiarity with his fear that peaked her interest because of how similar it was to her own, or she could’ve just wanted to make sure that he was okay. And I am willing to bet on ALL OF IT.

Secondly can we all just take a minute to celebrate Donna’s long awaited return! I have never been more excited for the revival of a character. Now Kory can finally have some grown up friends 🥂

After Tim and Donna linger for a-bit in the woods, they meet up with none other than Hank himself. Of course he would be the one to appear out in the middle of nowhere, in an old fashioned car after his death. I wouldn’t have accepted it any other way.

I also have to admit that I was pretty psyched to see Hank again. Do not quote me on this, but a tiny piece of me had missed his annoyingly snarky ass.

Was anyone else feeling some serious 21 jump street vibes from this lttle road trip scene? No… just me? Okay.

Once they’re all familiar with one another Hank begins to take a subtle interest in Tim. As my senses began tingling once more, the pieces had somehow found their way together. Despite the tough ass persona he displayed for the other members of the Titans, Hank has always had a soft spot for kids. Which would also explain why he was killed by Jason in the first place - because he thought he could save Jason from himself. A part of him still feels like an idiot for falling for the false vulnerability that was expressed by Jason on the phone that day.

And no I wasn’t crying at Hank’s farewell, you were 🥲

I was disappointed at first after treading on the idea that they would all return back together. But after viewing Hank’s reunion with his brother, I think it’s safe to say that I’m pretty glad that he decided not to miss out on that drastic part in his journey. Plus who knows, maybe another portal will open again after a few years and they’ll both be back to kick some ass. 🤷🏽‍♀️

Below is another example of Donna’s rocky, yet emotional connection between herself and Tim. And I say rocky because it doesn’t seem that she even realizes it herself, but she loves my little Tim baby!

Tim just has a way of interacting with folks that evokes a sense of urgency to protect him. I also believe that it must be fate that is drawing them all towards each other, especially when taking into account that Tim has practically met almost every member of the Titans dead or alive - by accident.

As you can see below, a teary eyed Donna watches as young Tim fades away into obscurity from her very own finger tips.

And as his body slowly disintegrates she makes it her mission to assure him that he is fact not a coward and that above everything else, he is a hero in her eyes. Now if that doesn’t get the waterworks flowing, I don’t know what will.

————————————

A recurring theme that I’ve noticed throughout the past three episodes is the current writers obsession with fire.

Fire = destruction. 🔥

Even as Bruce set a flame to Wayne’s manor he intended to destroy not only his home, but as well as himself along with it. Could fire represent what is to come in the near future for the Titans? Or am I sipping too much gatorade? I guess we’ll have to wait and see folks. Until next time! ✨😙💜

[popculturebuffet]

Mickey’s House of Villains (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27): It’s Our House Now!

Happy Halloween all you happy people! It’s finally here, the last and best day of spooky season and i’m going out with a bang. Since Kev wanted to cover the holdiay movies too that means we’re getting one last trip to the House of Mouse as Jafar takes the stage and takes control. It’s a battle for the soul of the house of mouse and I figured with all the disney content I covered it made a perfect fit to close out what’s been a truly awesome halloween with this DTV classic that, much like HOM itself is weirdly not on Disney+. 

Before we get started though I had a bit of a problem going into this one as Kev had me review the other Halloween episodes and I didn’t realize a few of the shorts from those were ALSO in this special when taking it on. Thankfully ther’es more than enough shorts I HAVNE’T covered, as well as the wraparound ,to give me content for a review but I realized anyone coming into this fresh would be unfairly punished for not having read my previous work. And that’s no fun.  So i’m going to copy the reviews for those shorts into this review. I could’ve done so without saying anything.. but I felt I should be honest if i’m going ot recycle content. This way new readers get those reviews too and old readers can just skip over them to the next short. Given the wraparounds not only a show stopper but the main event here, i’l lbe doing the shorts first. So join me under the cut for some Halloween havoc as we bravely venture into the house of villians. 

Trick or Treat: Donald’s Well Deserved Compupance

Our first of three theatrical shorts, this one is an utter classic. I watched it for the first time last Halloween and it’s become a Halloween Tradition for me and I hope to keep it one to watch it every year. 

Like most classic shorts it has a simple setup: the boys, who are in UTTERLY adorable costumes (a devil, a pumpkin head and a ghost) are trick or treating and go to Donald who , true to form for the time, is a massive dick and puts fire crackers in their bags, because nearly blowing up children for a cheap laugh wasn’t considered child abuse back then. Simpler times. 

A witch named Hazel...

Has been watching the boys. have fun for her own amusment...

And tricks Donald for them, scaring the heck out of him with a delightful array of ghoulies while the wonderful title song plays. I was annoyed at first because they cut the title card, something they did with theatrical shorts for time constraints, but forgot there’s a whole jaunty sequence for it. It’s spooktacular and successfully gets Donald to do the right thing.. until the Witch makes the mistake of calling Donald weak. If you want to piss Donald off hit him in the ego, it’s a really large, incredibly easy to hit target. So he swallows the key instead to keep the kids from treats they rightfully deserve after he nuked the others. 

So Hazel makes him dance, literally with his legs in a fun sequence, trying to KICK IT OUT OF HIS STOMACH

Before giving up and just having Donald run at the pantry full force. The kids get their treats and Donald gets tricked and we get an amazing short. The visuals are great, the performances are charming> It’s peak asshole donald and good boy nephews with a wonderful guest character. What more could you ask for?

Mickey’s Mechanical House:  Mickey’s in Escrow

Time for the only House of Mouse short I hadn’t covered already on this blog! 

This is one I did remember as a kid and it’s easy to see why: this one is done entirely in Dr. Seuss style rhyme, complete with a Seuss style narrator. It feels like a love letter to the guy as while the animation style is the same as always, the tone feels entirely suessian. Honestly i’ts a better take on the man himself than the ACTUAL seuss special I covered this year. 

In this one Mickey’s tired of his creaky old house with all it’s noises and sounds.

So he decides to move on up and consults with a literal weasel as a real estate agent, who sells him a super smart house with all kinds of gadgets: a maid robot, a cooking robot, voice commands, and no annoying shutters like his old place. And i’ts guranteed NOT to go crazy like that last smart house he sold.  Not going to try and replace your mom or play 90′s musical videos. His lost, Cest La Vie is a bitching song. 

And this with that Mickey can proudly announce

But Mickey is his own worst enemy, he fucking kicks the shit out of.. he. He can’t sleep because of all the cool shit he wants to do, so me basically, and tries to go downstairs only for the chef robot to keep him locked in his room. I’m on Mickey’s side here he’s a grown ass man, let him have fun if he wants to instead of locking him in his room. Also your just ASKING for a lawsuit making a robot that locks people in their room against their will and just begging for it to end up pulling a Misery on them. Misery with a robot.. that’s something that needs to be done at some point. 

So hyninkks ensue as Mickey keeps trying to sneak out, eventually leading to a robot riot and the house going heywire, with Mickey and Pluto, who I forgot was evne in this short despite watching it only an hour or so ago, fleeing for their lives as it emplodes poltergiest style. Mickey goes to his regular house and rests, happy, healthy and 96,000 dollars in debt. This short is fun, sweet and the rhyming gimmick really helps it stand out and gives it a nice bedtime story feel that fits the bedtime theme of the piece. 

How to Haunt A House: Goofy Your a Haunted House Now At this point it’s well documented how much I love these How To Shorts. I love the snooty narrator, Goofy’s hyjinks… but this one may be my faviorite period. It’s just that good. The concept is clever, Goofy is killed for the short (The narrator even assuring him he’ll be fine after , having him killed JUST to make this short possible, giving him horrifying powers best not pondered.

There’s just.. nothing but net here, as Goofy picks a house, picks a victim dating game style, of all references, and chooses Donald. Slash shippers, there’s your material. Get after it. And then proceeds to try and fail to haunt him , ending up getting Donald killed when he reveals himself, scarring the guy. So yeah that’s TWO beloved icons murdered for the sake of a joke and i’m here for it. This short is just amazing, It’s on youtube and i’m only being so breif because I feel it’s best experienced for yourself. it’s that funny, clever, and just plain fun. While combining my two favorite's of the sensational six plus pluto was guaranteed to make me love this, injecting Donald into the cartoon itself is clever, giving this short a feel the other How To’s don’t by paring up this classic duo. It’s a great short and I highly recommend it.

Lonesome Ghosts: GHOST PUNCH Another theatrical short and it’s one of the reasons I like this film: the regular episodes almost never used theatrical shorts. It’s understandable, the reason HOM exists is to repackage Mouseworks shorts and the series ended once they ran out of ones they wanted to use (two were never used due to Disney not liking their content. Giving one of them involved pluto thinking Minnie wanted to murder him, I can’t blame them. Still blame them for not putting the satan darkwing duck episode on Disney+ especially when the hell related stuff from other shows is still readliy avaliable. ). Now why they didn’t just CONTINUE the show with theatrical shorts and simply not use ones they found questionable by 2000′s standards I have no real clue, but the point stands this is a rarity and thus a nice treat, as well as a welcome opportunity to look at spooky disney theatrical shorts. I haven’t been doing those as much lately due to lack of intrest, so it was nice to get back at it. 

I liked Lonesome Ghosts more on this rewatch and it’s a fun, and once again very simple story: The Golden Trio are ghost hunters, who are called up by a bunch of bored ghosts who already scared everyone else in a radius and want fresh targets. As is typical for Mickey, Donald and Goofy shorts of the time, the three split up for better set pieces. Well mostly for Donald and Goofy who Disneyw as well aware were the real stars even then. This results in some standard but hilarious goofy antics. More importantly it results in DONALD FUCKING PUNCHING A GHOST

Sure he’s barely phased by it, but still DONALD PUNCHED A GHOST. Donald can PUNCH GHOSTS. I mean granted i’ts not the MOST impressive thing he’s ever done

But it’s still a very close second. DONALD CAN PUNCH GHOSTS. I don’t know why this whole short was not donald punching ghosts for 6 straight minutes but it’s still excellent all teh same and the finale is neat. 

Dance of the Goofys: Scary Children Set to classical music, this one has a bunch of goofys as Fairy’s, who are making the flowers go and the one who sleeps in ends up saving the king from a horrifying looking little brat. He reminds me of Montanna Max a bit.. speaking of which Creer Summer recently announced Elmyra won’t be in the reboot. And while this does make me fear actually good characters like Fifi, Montana Max, and more will be cut like the animanics reboot and I do feel for Cree not getting to be involved and hope they find another roll for her as, given her status in the industry she deserves better.. THANK FUCKING GOD. I’ll go into this in another review I have planned for the future but unlike the cuts made to animaniacs this was a REALLY good decision i’m really greatful for. Thank you crew thank you.

Back on topic, it’s just a fun, really beautifully animated short about the goofies and their shenanigans with a really great high concept.

Donald Duck and the Gorilla: As Awesome as It Sounds

Look i’ts a theatrical short where donald gets into antics with a rabid gorilla. I shouldn't have to sell you on this and had I known this existed I would’ve seen it MUCH sooner. 

This is a fun one and like Trick or Treat is built on Donald getting what’s coming to him: he scares the boys with some gorilla hands he just happens to have lying around because that’s what Daisy’s  into I guess.. even though they just heard about an escaped gorilla on the news. Stay classy there don

But naturally the real one shows up, just after the boys put on a gorilla suit> Thankfully the film dosen’t waste any time on the old “oh it’s the person It hink is a costume gag”, which isn’t terrible but has been used so many times at this point it’s lost all effect on me. This varation though is funny as he assume’s it’s them.. THEN STICKS HIS HEAD INTO THE GORILLA’S MOUTH TO LOOK FOR THEM. 

Oh but it gets better. After a LOT of funs lapstick including a ladder chase... the short concludes with THE BOYS TEARGASSING BOTH OF THEM TO STOP THE GORILLA. 

Look I don’t think i’d ever be ready for a short that ends with tear gas... or the fact Donald just CASUALLY has teargas in his house. Was.. was that common bacxk then? is it just donald WHAT IS THIS ENDING. 

But even without the tear gas, this short is great. And before we get to the two transfered over reviews, i’d just like to say it’s impressive that depsite the movie’s lenght ther eisn’t a single dud among the shorts. All of them are creative and fun and some are some of mouseworks or the theatrical shorts best.  It’s an all star lineup. 

Donald’s Halloween Scare:

Another truly excellent short and one of the best from the episodes i’ve covered this year by far.

It’s also the rare one using the triplets as so far in an entire year of doing these I have not seen them outside of the quack street boys or quacking pumpkins, probably one of the most 2000′s sentences ever uttered by man or murder doll.

But HDL are out in devil costumes, much like the one Donald wears in both this and House of Villains, and we get a nice sequence where Mickey, Minnie and Goofy give them a scare and then a pile of candy for trick or treat. Well Mickey and Minnie do, Goofy dresses up as a bunny because he has the holiday wrong and the kids are mad he got them eggs. Dudes i’d of killed to get a hardboiled egg for halloween. Still would. Maybe dress it up like Freddy or Chucky. Realy make it jazzy.

So the little devils end up at Donald’s house, where Donald is , shockingly, a huge dick about halloween.

His plan of course is to dress up like a Jason and scare them, chasing them off then stealing their candy. I dunno.. he probably woudlv’e made more of an impression as the Axeman.

Anyways, our heroes are scared off but soon find out Donald was conning them and get back at him the old fashioned way: by making him think his Jasonsona is wante dto murder, chasing him around and scaring him and finally making him think THEY SCARED THEM TO DEATH AND PREPARING TO BURY HIM ALIVE.

Donald promises to get them their candy back and gets them some new candy, all is well, and Goofy accidnetlys cares them as Santa. Which i’d chuckle at but as we’ll see next week,  santa is no joke when he’s off his leash.

Hansel and Gretel:

A retelling of Hansel and Gretel with Mickey and Minnie….because making your offical couple brother and sister has never worked out poorly right Star Wars?

Incest jokes aside, the short is awesome. Set to Danse Macabe it’s a fun retelling that follows all the beats you’d expect.. up until the oven where our heroes not only fall in themselves but have to fight the witch whose become some sort of fire elemental. It’s a damn cool climax. It’s worth a good watch and was likely picked for one of the halloween episodes because i’ts mildly spooky. I don’t have a lot else to say really so enjoy this song from our musical guest. It WAS Mr. T in the original review but I felt that didn’t work. Instead in honor of this holiday, MR. ALICE COOPER!

House of Villians:

Now on to our main feature, our big show, the reason your all here, the reason this special was so heavily promoted, Mickey Mouse and Friends Vs an all star group of disney villians. It’s .... a bit of a let down honestly. 

Yeah while the musical number in it is awesome, and we shall get to that, the wraparound is pretty underwhelming. For starters large chunks of it are recycled from the two halloween episodes, including the Donald wanting ot be scary gag.  What isn’t is an intresting idea: Jafar is at a table with his buddies: Hades, Ursula, Cruella...

Who actually belongs here this time. The villians all grouse over having to play by the house rules and be nice and being outnumbered by the heroes. They just can’t do any puppy murders and i’ts bumming them out.. mostly cruella. Okay entirely cruella. Look she has one thing at this point she hasn’t gotten to have a hip london origin story where she was played by one of the hottest women alive yet. Back then it was just puppy murder and nothing else. 

But Jafar has a trick for mickey mouse... and we have ot wait an HOUR for him to pull it. I’m not kidding. In a film that was promoted, and trust me I was around for that, disney’s best villians taking the hous efrom Mickey.... the wraparound is barely present. We get about 10 minutes of it, if that, in a 70 minute movie and Jafar only hosts for the last two cartoons. I don’t honestly see WHY the Our House Now number wasn’t moved up earlier as having Jafar host was not only a fun change of pace but something tha twouldn’t of taken much> it’s not like they woudl’v ehad to pay Jonathan Freeman much more and he’s already worth every penny. I just don’t get this. You would’ve just had to animate some more villians clapping. It’s not THAT expensive. You paid for the entire musical number why is this a problem. 

That said once the clock strikes Midnight, Jafar and the other villians indeed rise up and we do get the best part of the movie: Our House Now

It’s utter awesome. You gather all the disney villians together, characters KNOWN for giving good villian songs (though among the ones here only Jafar and Ursula have) , and you’d better deliver, and this song does. Every minute of it is awesome, the visuals, the big band sound everything about this oozes evil and charisma and sums up Disney Villiany in one of the best numbers.  My only complaints: 1) Pat Carrol dosen’t get to sing enough. While I haven’t watched LIttle Mermaid that often (not my forte) Poor Unfortunate Souls is an all time great. Still she does sing in it and given her age at the time it might not have been fesable so fair enough. And Jafar gets to sing plenty and given how underated “Your only second rate is” i’m glad he gets to shine. Jafar is an awesome villian and  Jonathan Freeman does a great job as him (Granted a white guy shoudln’t be playing him but that’s not freeman’s fault, and i’ts a flaw aladdin has in general) 2) “Get those puppies!” Ursula what the fuck are you talking about 3) The only ACTUAL flaw: for some REALLY weird reason, Rob Paulsen voices Hades for the number. Rob sounds nothing like Woods. I may hate James Woods but they coudl’ve at least tried imitating him.. and given James was already doing work for this specail I question why they coudln’t of just got him to sing talk or something for the song. It’s not hard the guy works for cheap

So Mickey gets thrown out and we do get some great material: Jafar is an EXCELLENT host and Freeman has a blast doing the intros, and Mickey and Friends half assed attempts to stop him are hilarious. Mickey tries bringing his boys.. and instnatly realizes he brought an angry badass and a goofus to a fight with dread pirate, a sea witch, a greek god, a powerful sorcerer and some woman who likes to murder puppies I guess. They get tosse dout and Minnie tries it. Jafar has her kindly escorte dout

And while the lack of actual TIME spent with the house of villians is a huge issue, it’s one of two that holds this story back> The other... is this climax. The start of it is awesome: mickey puts on his fantasia outfit and has a back and forth game of baseball with jafar with a bolt of energy he throws. it’s pretty cool.  The issue is even with the small budget, we’re not getting an endgame style battle sadly, we could still have the HOM crew outsmart these theives and thugs. Instead we get a quick cheap wizards duel with only one phase before mickey gets the hat knocked off and looses his powers. The way this is resovled also really sucks. The gang don’t.. throw him the hat or anything but instead ALADDIN SHOWS UP OUT OF NOWHERE WITH THE LAMP, THROWS IT TO THEM, THEY THROW IT OT MICKEY AND HE MAGICALLY WINS WITH IT SUCKING JAFAR UP DESPITE APPARENTLY NOT BEING A GENIE ANYMORE. 

It’s so chepa, so half assed and so lazy, especially with how awesome the song wasw, to just have it wrapped up this easily. All that effort to show the takeover and it’s undone in five minutes with almost no effort. Our heroes win I guess, horay?

This segment.. is a disapoinemnet. The idea and musical number are good but the execution is so cheap and half assed , especailly given this is what the film was sold on and they do nothing with it. Easily the weakest part of the film

That said.. overally the film is great. While the wraparound disapointins, Our House Now would be worth admission alone, but the shorts are all top shelf and good spooky fun. It’s a wonderful bit of halloween fun disney needs to add to D+ yesterday. Hopefully by next halloween they’ll havetheir act together. But for this one.. it was a great watch and a great capper to this holiday. 

If you enjoyed this review follow me for more, reblog it to get the word out and feel free to join my patreon where for just one buck a month you get access to exlcusive reviews and unlock one of the many tiers I have built up. 

LINK IS RIGHT HERE

Thanks for reading

[your-eternal-muse]

I’m Getting Colder

Heather Series Part 6 (Were halfway through it!)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Bonus! Readers Card Confession

Summery: Reader leaves the BAU for some personal time, and turns to her vices to deal with the voices in her head

Warnings: Description of someone falling into a deep depressive episode, self-deprecation, unhealthy coping mechanisms, description of emotional breakdown, reader is not in a good mental state so please be prepared for that before reading

Words: 1.8k (she smol)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Heather Charmical, Spencer Reid x eventual Female!Reader

A/N: So, this is not a light chapter. It’s not that long in my opinion, but it is very depressing. I do not recommend reading this if you are not in a well state of mind. Reader is very depressed, and she is falling deeper into that hole as we speak. I promise it does get better, but this chapter is just sad. I took from some personal thoughts and feelings I had when I was at a low point in my own life, which made it kind of difficult to make it any longer than I did, though I’m going to try and make the following chapters longer. I do recommend reading the bonus episode I posted, as it gives a lil insight to something said in this chapter. If you did not see, I sadly had to close both my permanent and my heather tag list, so if you are not already on there, and you want to be notified when I post a part, I suggest turning on my post notifications. Okay, that’s all. Love You!

~~~~~~~

“You really think he would love someone like You?”

“I will never love you.”

“Look at you. You’re disgusting.”

“I did love you. And then I met Heather and realized how much better she was.”

“Worthless.”

“Stupid Girl.”

“Useless.”

“UGLY!”

My eyes snap open.

My room is dark, and the sun is just barely rising over the horizon, the dim blue light leaking through my curtains.

The alarm on my phone goes off.

5:30 A.M. Meeting with Hotch at 8.

I slide my thumb across the dismiss button, and rub my face. All I want to do is go back to sleep, crawl deep under my covers and stay there until the end of time.

But I can’t.

My therapist's voice echoes through my mind.

“You’ve been through some emotional turmoil, y/n. It’s okay to take a break to get yourself better. But you need to talk to your unit chief in order for that to happen.”

So, that’s what I’m doing. I have a meeting with Hotch to discuss medical leave, where I’ll turn over my badge and gun and leave.

I sit up in bed, running a hand through my hair, trying to convince myself to get up.

Spencer comes home from his honeymoon today.

And if I haven’t been in the right head space when he hasn’t been here, then I’m definitely not okay to be shooting a gun when he is.

He called.

I didn’t answer.

He left a message.

I didn’t listen.

I don’t need to listen to him telling me that there's nothing we can do.

That it’s over.

That I have to move on.

No thanks.

I’m good.

I get up, and walk though my dark apartment, not bothering to turn on the lights as I go.

I strip in the pitch black bathroom, only lighting a candle so I don’t trip and break my neck.

The water is cold, and I let it run over my spine.

I leave once my teeth are chattering.

I get out and hastily dry off, before running a brush through my hair and cleaning my teeth.

I avoid my own eyes in the medicine cabinet mirror, but they slip back, and I don’t recognize the girl staring back at me.

I blink, pressing my palm to my eye, using my other hand to open the cabinet, turning the mirror away from me, so I don’t have to look anymore.

By the time I’m dressed and ready to leave, it’s 7:15.

I grab my purse, and my keys and head out of my apartment.

Once outside, I light up a cigarette, walking the short block to where I’m parked, climbing in and cranking the heat.

I used to stop and get a bagel and coffee from the bakery around the corner, but my appetite has left me.

My smoke will suffice for breakfast.

It’s a quiet ride to Quantico.

Mornings of listening to the radio, turning up my favorite songs have all but disappeared.

I pull my chin into my chest to keep the cold from biting my nose, as I walk up to the building.

The eyes of the security guards that I used to greet each morning follow me, as I keep my gaze glued to the floor.

The warmth of the elevator is no longer welcoming.

I’m the only one in the bullpen, as I walk past desks covered in files and papers.

I knock on Hotch’s door at 7:56.

“Come in.”

We’re the first ones here, and I know any moment, the others will trickle in, and their eyes will scan and find me standing before him, through his open blinds, where they will proceed to profile and figure out why I am acting the way I am.

I enter the office, and close the door behind me.

“You didn’t give a reason for this meeting, just stating that it was urgent that we met.” He sets his pen down, and gives me his full attention. “May I ask why?”

I rub my forehead, a headache already forming. “I didn’t know what to put for a reason. Every time I thought about what to write down, it seemed stupid.”

“Y/N, if something is bothering you, it’s never stupid.”

I nod, sniffling, taking my purse off my shoulder and pulling out the note from my therapist, handing it to him.

“I need at least two weeks of mental medical leave.”

He’s quiet as he reads through the letter, looking up at me every now and then.

I look out the window, and see all their heads turn to avoid eye contact, as if they weren’t just sitting and watching the whole exchange.

I bet they’re talking about it right now.

When he’s finished, he simply folds it and places it on his desk, waiting for me to speak.

I look down at my shoes.

I know he knows.

I'm pretty sure everyone knows now.

“I can’t be around him, Hotch.” My voice is no louder than a whisper, but I know he can hear me. 

Jesus, I’m so sick of crying.

“Everything changed that night. I can’t even look at him without wanting to cry or…” I pinch the bridge of my nose again, harder, trying to distract myself from the pain.

“I can’t. At least not yet. Not now. And I’m not in the right state of mind to turn it off during the work day so we can work like a team.” I turn to look out the other window, so I don’t have to deal with the eyes.

“I just need some time to work through it. And I don’t want to put the team at risk during that time.” I shove my hands in my pocket, and bite my lip.

He nods. 

“I understand. I hope you know your job will be waiting for you when you’re ready.”

I nod, breathing in to keep the tears at bay. “I know.”

“Good. I need your badge and gun please.”

That’s when the tears start falling.

I love this Job.

I love these people.

And here I am, abandoning them all because I can’t get over myself.

Yeah because you’re weak. Letting a boy take over your life. How Pathetic.

I untie my jacket, removing my badge from the inner pocket, placing it before him on the desk. I then remove my gun from the holster from my hip, making sure the safety is on, before setting that by my badge.

He stands, as I make my way for the door, moving out of the eyesight of the others.

“Y/N,”

I stop and turn, only to be met with his arms wrapping around me. 

I fall into the embrace, so uncommon for Hotch, but oh so needed at this moment. 

Hotch is a father through and through, and right now, a father’s embrace is what I need.

“I’m always here if you need to talk. No matter what time. I’m here for you.”

I squeeze my arms around him, taking in his scent before backing away. “I know. Thank you, Hotch.”

He nods, smiling softly, before stepping back as I open the door, and walk out into the bullpen.

The team stands, unashamedly staring at me as I walk down past them.

Now including Spencer.

I hastily wipe my cheeks, and shove my hands back into my pockets, beginning to walk past them.

“Baby girl,”

“Don’t, Derek.” I spit. If he hadn’t been a dick….If i had just watched where I was going.

Spencer is closest to the door, and I turn my head away from him, not wanting to engage in anything with him.

He reaches out and grabs me by the crook of my elbow.

“Reid.” Hotch says, but Spencer’s eyes are burning into the side of my face. 

“You asked me to come and catch you.” His voice is soft, and once again, I wish someone would scream at me.

I swallow hard, and pull away from him, stepping back, retreating as far into myself as possible.

“I’m not yours to catch anymore.”

I place a hand over my mouth and practically run out of the glass doors.

I don’t stop running until I get to my car, where I collapse into the cold, and sob against the steering wheel.

“Come and catch me?”

“You asked me to come and catch you.”

He knows he’s killing me.

He has to,

He can’t say shit like that and not know.

My phone lights up with his name, and I slide my thumb across decline, before starting my car and pulling out of the parking lot.

The minutes blur by as I make my way home, just wanting to collapse into bed, and sleep away my problems.

My apartment is lighter now, but it’s still relatively dark. Light seeps through my curtains, but it doesn’t reach far.

I kick off my boots, and take off my jacket, tossing it across the counter.

A full length mirror hangs from my corridor wall, watching me. Taunting me.

“He’s just trying to talk to you.”

I pinch my eyes close. This isn’t happening. Not again.

“But you’re too selfish to accept him as anything other than a friend.”

The voice talking is high-pitched, and stings like a bell.

Heather.

“Seriously? You think he would ever want someone like you? When he could have someone like me? You’re pathetic.”

I turn to the mirror, where she stands staring back at me in the reflection.

“Shut up.”

“You are so stupid. No one wants you. No one will ever want you. The team will be so much better off without you.”

“Shut up!” My teeth grit, and I know I’m talking to a figment of my imagination, but I don’t care.

I can’t care.

“You’re so useless. You’re so stupid. You’re so pathetic. Do you know you’re the last thing on his mind? Especially when he’s deep within me, and I’m making him feel so good.”

“I said shut up!” 

I grab a stray book laying open on my counter, and throw it at the mirror, watching it shatter upon impact, the pieces looking like snow on my floor.

I bawl into my hands, leaning over my counter.

Who have I become?

I pull myself together long enough to grab the bottle of whiskey sitting open by my sink, taking a long drink from it.

With it still clutched in hand, I shuffle over to my couch which is pushed up against my windows.

I lean over the back of it, opening the one above it, the cool air freezing the tears on my face.

I set the bottle down and pick up a stray smoke, lighting up and leaning back, exhaling the smoke up into the air and out the window.

My cell vibrates in my pocket, and I pull it out, seeing Spencer’s face pop up yet again.

In the photo, he’s smiling, birthday cake on his face. I hit decline.

Another swig, another hit. 

My brain is becoming fuzzy.

A text comes through from Derek.

I swipe the notification away. 

I lie down on my couch, holding a pillow close to my body, my cigarette hanging from my fingers, the bottle down on the floor next to me.

Another text.

I turn my phone off.

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[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Top 5 Reasons Doug’s Pretty Great

It’s hard to believe that it’s been nine years since the first episode of S1 was released. I can still remember be a wee little lass first discovering it on youtube and becoming obsessed. At the time, I had no where to play it myself, so I watched as many playthroughs as I could until my family got an xbox. 

While the first episode in this series has a lot of memorable moments, the one that always stands out in people’s memories is the moment where you’re trying to escape the drugstore as walkers pound away at the door and windows, and you realize that both Carley and Doug need your help or they’re going to die. 

But... you can only save one, and whoever you don’t help, they end up being eaten alive by walkers and you get to feel bad about it for the rest of the episode. 

I bring this up because it’s interesting to look back nine years ago and see that... well, not a lot of people saved Doug. Which is crazy, because now the stats are pretty 50/50 with Doug even having a bit of an edge over Carley. That definitely wasn’t the case back then because the stats were more along the line of 20/80.

Why? Well, the writer’s didn’t exactly do the best job of showing how great Doug is in ep1, especially compared to Carley who has more interactions with Lee and more screen time.... which is even funnier because they did actually think they did a good job and were surprised by the results after the episode’s release.

Even back then they had a habit of making imbalanced routes then denying the imbalance... something they never grew out of. 

I guess they were a little butthurt about it since Doug is a favorite among the team given that he’s actually based on a real person, Doug Tabacco, an IT guy they worked with. This got to the point where Telltale never missed an opportunity to tell everyone to #SaveDoug over Carley.

I also love that they use the Stranger to guilt trip everyone who saved Carley by having him be like, “Doug was in a worse position! >:( You only saved Carley because she was a pretty girl!!” just.... real subtle, guys haha

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that more often than not, I choose to save Carley over Doug for many reasons, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate Doug and enjoy having him around in the off chance I do save him. So I thought it’d be fun to talk about Doug as a character and why he was pretty great as a little tribute, y’know? 

5. Doug’s a pretty funny dude

Now, I wouldn’t exactly call twdg a comedy, y’know? It gets dark, then manages to get even darker at times, but if the game was nothing but doom and gloom, it’d get boring and become unenjoyable. 

While other characters do get a laugh out of me from time to time, I enjoy the humor that Doug brings to the group, even if it’s not intentional and just the way he is. 

Even from the beginning, Doug had me chuckling with the fact that this nerdy dude didn’t want to bring profanity to Lee’s ears when talking about Larry, so he’s just like “ He's kind of a dick... pardon my french,” like Doug.... it’s okay, you can call him an asshole, no one will judge hahaha.

Then there’s the biscuit scene that I think we all know and love. Helps break the tension of meeting these weirdo’s who own a dairy and are totally not suspicious or anything. 

But it’s not even just that Doug is funny, he’s also a character that gets you to crack a smile when he’s talking about something he’s passionate about, or when he’s proud of the alarm he rigged up, or when he’s being adorably awkward. 

One of my favorites is in ep3 when Lee goes to ask Doug if he has any chalk, and he goes into this spiel about charcoal-- “You know, a piece of charcoal is a suitable alternative, depending on your marking surface. Since we're on the subject, did you know that while chalk is traditionally known to be calcium carbonate, what's often used in classrooms is actually made of gypsum, thanks to favorable domestic mining conditions?”

And Lee’s response is just-- “Doug, I did not know that.”

“Happy to be of service.”

It’s just really funny... and it makes you feel better after all the implications about Doug’s mental health in the episode... like you gave him a moment to flex his knowledge and get excited about it. 

But yeah, what can I say? Doug makes me laugh and he brings a bit of light to the groups constant shitshow. 

4. Doug saved the group’s ass at the St John farm

And he did so with a laser pointer. 

I always hate it when Doug/Carley leave the group at the St Johns and remain absent for most of the episode, though I chalk that up to the writers trying to make the different routes easier on themselves, y’know? 

But, at least they come back to save the day. 

In Doug’s case, he’s not comfortable with guns like Carley is, so he’s gotta get creative when it comes to getting Lee’s attention and stopping Andy from hurting Duck and Lee. 

That’s where his fancy little laser pointer comes in. 

We first see him with it during the walk to the farm, but then see it in action after Lee escapes the barn and is nearly blinded by the light. Doug claims he was doing morse code before Lee tells him and Ben that these assholes cut off Mark’s legs and tried to feed them to the group. 

Now, here’s the thing... If Doug and Ben had done what they were told and stayed at the motor inn over night, things probably wouldn’t have turned out so good for the group. Doug is the one who shines the laser pointer in Andy’s eyes when he’s got ahold of Duck, giving Lee the advantage of attack. Without that, if Lee tried anything, he would’ve ended up like dingdong Kenny with a bullet in his side. 

Also there’s just a lot of bravery from Doug, y’know? Like as soon as he finds Lee and knows the situation, the first thing he asks is what can they do to help, and he sticks around to do what he can.... even if it is just to point a laser in someone’s eye. 

No one gives Doug enough credit for savin’ the day, y’know? And if you have any doubt, even Lee says, “I never thought a laser pointer would be the thing that saved our lives.”

3. Doug’s friendship with Lee

Speaking of Lee, his friendship with Doug is underrated. The two have chemistry and work off each other well in the scene’s they’re in. While it’s not as strong as Carley’s in ep1, saving Doug and having around in ep2 & ep3 lets you see it at it’s best, y’know? 

After Lee saves his life at the drugstore, Doug is shown to mourn Carley and asks Lee why he would pick him, lamenting that he wished he had picked her over him and you can tell that Doug feels that he owes Lee a lot for saving him. Hell, he even says as much when Lee tries to give him food in ep2-- “Why don't you keep my share today. I know I said it didn't matter why you saved me and not Carley, but... I owe you a lot more than half a day's rations."

Also, I love this one line from Kenny when you’re on bad terms with him and they’re talking about going separate ways where he’s basically like “We all know Doug’s gonna stay with you because you saved him that ONE time >:(” and on top of it being such a bitchy Kenny line, it also shows that every can see that Doug is a loyal friend to Lee and would want to stick with him where ever he decides to go. 

One thing that I think people tend to overlook, though, is how concerned Lee is with Doug’s mental health in ep3. There are implications that Doug might be suffering with depression due to the situation of the walkers, bandits harrassing and threatening them, and believing that he isn’t useful to the group, stating that he feel pretty worthless. Lee asks Clementine if he seems sad, and hell, he even talks to Lilly about it.

In fact, speaking of Clementine, Doug is real sweet with her, too. Of course, he gives her those batteries for her walkie, but he also asks about how she’s doing as they’re leaving the dairy. Hell, 8 years later, Clementine still remembers him by name and how sweet he was when fucking dingdong Lilly can’t remember his damn name. That says a lot. 

Y’all know how important Clementine is to Lee, so he wouldn’t have grown as close to Doug if he wasn’t a genuinely good person who treated Clementine with kindess. 

I dunno, there’s a lot of trust and care between the two and it’s a relationship that I truly love. I just wish we could’ve seen a bit more of it but y’know...#2 happened. 

2. Doug saved Ben’s life

Yeah, I think we all saw this coming...

Look, doesn’t matter what you think about Ben, okay? Not what we’re talkin’ about. We’re talkin’ about Doug saving Ben’s life, which unfortunately meant ending his own.

Still haven’t forgiven Lilly for this one. Though I’ve always found the difference between Doug and Carley’s death’s interesting. With Carley, Lilly intentionally kills her after Carley tells her off. But with Doug, Lilly was aiming for Ben and even when Doug pulled him out of the way, she still fired the gun... even though she didn’t have a clear shot and ended up hitting Doug. 

Then she tries to play it off like it was an accident which, yeah I guess it was but that doesn’t change that you were intending to murder this 6ft tall child. 

It’s just... I dunno, man, it’s sad. I always feel more sorrow for Doug’s death, but more anger for Carley’s? Even though both make me angry, it’s just different characters, different things that led to their deaths, different feelings. This is the first real “Fuck you, Lilly” moment for me and she can spend the next 8 years wandering around for all I can. 

Doug didn’t deserve this shit. 

But, the reason I put this at #2 because it really says a lot about Doug as a character. The second he saw Lilly aim that gun, he yanked Ben out of the way. He could’ve gone into shock, he could’ve just yelled “no!”, or he could’ve gone at Lilly instead.... but no, his first instinct was to grab Ben and move himself in front and it really fucking sucks that that’s what killed him. 

And y’know this isn’t the first time Doug has put himself in danger to save someone. I already talked about him saving everyone at the dairy, but can we not forget how he and Carley met? She was gonna get eaten by walkers then our big hero Doug came in and saved her?? Didn’t know her or anything, just saw her and her crew getting attacked and did what he could to save any survivors?? 

Like... no one talks about that because it’s so played off and never brought up again and I need everyone to remember this, okay? 

Doug selflessly putting himself in danger to help those around him? Fantastic. Beautiful. Love that.

1. Look, Doug himself is just #1. His personality, intelligence, everything.

Wow, Doug’s personality being the #1 reason he’s so great? Who woulda thought?

Well, ME woulda thought because obviously.

Listen... in case you haven’t gather this from the previous four entries, Doug is an intelligent, awkward, caring, selfless, funny, and brave man, okay? He’s likable, he tries his damnedest to pull his weight for the group, he shows actual loyalty and kindness unlike some people, and when he tends to avoid the constant Lilly and Kenny conflicts, he does his best to step in when things take a serious turn, hence the Ben situation. 

No to mention the dude is smart. 

I mean, he really took a random remote and was like, “Oh it’s universal, let me just program it to work on ALL the random TV’s across the street as a way to distract these walkers!” like dude.... you just know how to do that, huh? 

Or his fun little bell trap that alerts the groups of strangers and walkers? Oh, and remember when he fixed the RV by hitting it with a fucking hammer and was like “It works now, drive!” 

And have I mentioned that he bested Andy St John with a goddamn laser pointer?? 

Oh, also wanna add that I really like his voice acting, as well. He’s voiced by Sam Joan, who does a good job at selling Doug’s soft-spoken but intelligent nature, and knows how to pull off “dorky” when needed... and I mean that in a good way, when he’s talking about charcoal Doug is being a dork and I love him.

I mean... what else is there to say?

All that’s left to do is pull a Telltale and--

#SaveDoug

---

Honorable Mentions

-Doug is a pie guy, going off of that time he named all the different kinds of pie he could thing of and I feel that.  -He’s a very fashionable person. I want that weird polar bear deer thing shirt he wears in ep1.  -also, you can’t go wrong with socks and sandals, my dude.  -He had a crush on Carley and honestly, I feel that, too. 

---

There it is, there’s my whole thing about Doug. What are your thoughts? When it comes to that choice in ep1 of s1, do you save Doug or do you save Carley? Do you agree or disagree with any of my choices for this list? Or have anything to add? I’m always down to chat.

Have any suggestions for future T5F’s? Feel free to send ‘em in! :D

—

Next week’s T5F

[thestalkerbunny]

Fuck, I mean "Living doll" for some reason I got those episodes mixed up???

I dunno. I kinda want to debate that it is an example of Karmatic justice.

The main plot of the episode-for those of you who aren't as deep into the Twilight Zone as I and some people are is basically A little girl gets a doll for her birthday. Her Stepfather who is uncharacteristically mean towards her out of anger and spite he can't have his own biological children (lame reason to be a dick dude) When he winds up the doll it often spits out hateful phrases towards him-which escalates to him taking it away from the little girl repeatedly to try and destroy it only for it to return every time with more and more drastic threats. The ending is the stepfather tripping over the doll on the stairs, falling down and breaking his neck.

The ending of the episode states that

'Of course, we all know dolls can't really talk, and they certainly can't commit murder. But to a child caught in the middle of turmoil and conflict, a doll can become many things: friend, defender, guardian. Especially a doll like Talky Tina, who did talk and did commit murder—in the misty region of the Twilight Zone.'

Talky Tina-the doll-becomes the defender to a little girl who is in the cross hairs of her stepfathers abuse. Even at the wife's repeated coaxing that pleading that he could learn to love Christie (the little girl) that if he just TRIES. But he refuses. Often times abuse within family can escalate into much worse things-worse case scenario resulting in a child's death. In a fairy tale sense, Talky Tina is the power of justice that keeps Christie safe from this potentially horrible fate that numerous children unfortunately meet every day at the hands of domestic family abuse.

Now the Twilight Zone has a tendency to have twists of 'it's all in your head, it's about a person's perspective'. On one hand we could be watching an episode of a doll actually murdering a man to keep her new little owner safe. On the other, we could be watching from this man's perspective a gradual loss of reality, viewing his stepdaughter's doll (and by extension Christie herself) as the enemy, as a symbol of him never having children of his own, in a sense, he's not as much a of a man as he should be. And he feels threatened by it to the point of paranoid delusion. And him tripping over the doll and breaking his neck on the stairs is just a result of a mislaid toy.

It's defiantly Karma. He had choices to not be cruel. He had the OPTION CONSTANTLY to just step up and be a good father. And he chose not to out of spite. I think Tina started to take it personally when he stuck her head in a goddamn vice grip to try and crush it. Like originally the game plan was maybe scaring him straight to lay of Christie-but after that it was ALL personal.

TDLR: Sometimes excessive punishment is the preventative measure to keep a worse thing from potentially happening (in personal opinion. The court is welcomed to dissent; we're talking about a tv show from the 60s and I just have a weird thing where I like analyzing old tv shows.)

[roddyretrograde]

what do you think about peyton’s pregnancy storyline? do you think she is a pro-lifer?

I actually like Peyton's pregnancy storyline. Not the whole storyline because Lucas eventually gets really annoying and a bit condescending, but I think 6.17 is the best L*yton episode on the show because Peyton feels so in character, and it's the first time Lucas doesn't succeed in guilting her to get what he wants.

I don't think Peyton's pro-life, I think she's definitely Pro-Choice. Especially after knowing how dangerous her own pregnancy was for herself. She knows that not every person would make that choice, or should make that choice, but her own personal choice is to have her baby.

Even though she's scared to be a mom, she's always wanted to be one. It's been clear since season one and Jenny. She's a natural mother, and the moment she got pregnant her whole heart shifted and she imagined her whole life loving her child. Peyton also doesn't put her own life over any one else's and she would absolutely risk herself for her child, and to give the person she loves the family they want.

I mean, the scene when Lucas says she sounds like a mom, and she replies, "I am a mom!" KILLS ME EVERY TIME.

Obviously I get the ICK when Lucas is like "I don't want this child to grow up without a mother. Look what it did to you." Why does he always have to somehow imply she's broken or damaged goods all the damn time. Like guilt trips her with a "what if our kid turns out like you?" is a fucked up thing to say to your future wife, bro.

But it's the first time Peyton doesn't just agree with him. She fights back to what he wants and L*yton have a long discussion on both of their feelings, their fears, their hopes and make a decision after hearing each other out. And both of their feelings are valid. I totally get why Lucas is scared and doesn't want to lose Peyton, and I think up until that guilt trip he was on the right track (but in Lucas fashion he turns into a dick at some point). He validated all their choices and options for Peyton to become a mother and was ready to support her if getting an abortion was what she wanted.

I didn't love how he talked down to her the rest of the season though. Like, I get that he was scared, but that scene where he leans down and talks to her baby instead of her and demands she take a nap - like please stop.

BUT, the acting is great in 6.17, and I do love the whole episode and how it pans out. I love that Lucas ends up supporting her decision and validating her feelings, while also showing how scared he was. I feel like it's his first genuine act of love towards her in a really long time, and to me Peyton's the most in character she's ever been while in LP in that episode. It just felt really natural. Like it was the first episode in a long time where I didn’t feel like it was forced or they were faking it.