#every email Hux gets from Kylo has the “sent from my datapad” bit and it makes him seeth with rage | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

swellwriting · 6 years ago

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Datapads and Love Letters

Fandom: Star Wars

Pairing: Reader x Armitage Hux

Warnings: None.

A/N: It’s dumb and it's soft and I wanna write more Hux fics, I might do a “lemony” part two (oh god how I hate the word) but hey who knows?

Word Count: 3.6k

He writes a love letter to you, it’s harmless. It’s meant to be harmless. He needs to get his feelings out but he doesn't want anyone to know. His feelings though they are about you are his own feelings, they are private and he wants to keep it that way.

He knows you like him, “like” being a term he isn't sure how to define when it comes to you. You like Kylo Ren the Supreme Leader who is also your “master”, you like Phasma your only high ranked friend and you like any stormtrooper that doesn't slump their shoulders when you walk past them. Liking him doesn't necessarily mean anything spectacular. Not to say he isn’t grateful for it, at least you don't hate him.

He knows he's a bit older than you, he’s your co-worker, though you’re both Generals in title so at least he isn't your superior, he holds no power over you and he likes that. You make him feel powerless.

He grabs his Datapad and opens up a private note and starts typing.

He starts with your name but quickly erases it and starts over. If this got out by even a chance he didn't want it traceable to you so easily as to write your name on it.

He dims the brightness of his screen, holds it close as he types and pours his heart out. When he's done he goes to delete it but Millicent spills his glass of water on the bed he is currently sat in making him jump up to fix the mess. Before he can get back to what he was doing there are Stormtroopers at his door and he's so busy, so focused on work that he leaves it there. But it should be safe in his living space, a private note like that should be perfectly secure in his private quarters.

But he forgot that today was a scheduled cleaning day, the cleaning droids and sanitation troopers with high clearance would be there any minute, they’d have to move the Datapad and with the screen just remaining open like that, how could they not accidentally read such soft emotional words and be so curious to read more, especially on the cold and mean Generals Datapad.

The trooper sent it to his friend, he took a picture of the screen with his own Datapad and it wasn’t supposed to spread around as quickly as it did but before Hux even gets to the meeting he was going to everyone with a Datapad at their fingertips has seen it.

Everyone except for him and you.

You’re too busy with your current conversation with Phasma, the only thing distracting you as she glances down at her Datapad to read the email she was just sent is the fact that Hux just sat down across from you. You offer him a courteous smile as if you hadn't noticed the second he walked into the room. As if you hadn’t wished he would have sat down beside you and started a conversation as easily as Phasma had.

She’s still distracted by her tablet so you think of something to say to him.

“Usually you’re the first one to show up at meetings.” You comment casually, not wanting him to think you're chastising him for being later than usual, which still wasn’t late at all.

“I was a bit busy, paperwork and such,” he offers in response, a wave of his hand as he sips his coffee.

Before you can think of anything else to say Kylo Ren Speaks from behind his mask, his deep voice unable to be quiet at all. “Paperwork?”

Hux nods and tries not to think too much about what he was actually doing out of fear that Ren would be in his head.

Kylo lets out a chuckle, it’s more of a reflex than him trying to have anyone hear it but it comes out muffled yet loud from the mask and you notice, wonder what on earth Kylo Ren could be laughing about regarding paperwork.

The meeting starts with long conversations about budgets, rebelling systems and politics as per usual.

Many officers are reading their Datapads during the meeting, a basic rule violation.

Hux’s fingers itch as he instinctively goes to just grasp his in his hands, that's when he realizes he left it behind, unlocked, on his bed with a dictionary of everything he feels for you on it. He panics then. His chest feels like its caving in on his lungs, his heart stuck in throat as he assumes the worst. An officer, much below him, looks at him from across the table and Hux only offers him a scowl making the young officer quickly look away.

He looks at you, your eyebrows are furrowed as you chew the end of your stylus pen even though you don't even have your Datapad out. It seems like everyone in the room is in on the joke except him and you. Well, he's in on it, it's about him and he knows it, fears it.

You look across the table at him to find him already staring at you, you offer him a sweet smile but he doesn't return it. His eyes are wide and he looks worried before he forces a smile on his face. Somethings wrong with him and you aren't sure what it is. When the meeting ends he basically rushes out of the room and locks himself in his quarters.

He finds that his room is cleaned and his Datapad had been moved. How could he have been so stupid? Why would he ever let his true feelings out when he should have pushed them deep inside and never let them see the light of day. He doesn't even know what to do with himself. He takes his uniform off piece by piece, throwing it on the floor as he walks and then sits at the end of his bed wondering what he has done.

Thankfully he didn't write your name on it anywhere, and maybe no one would know it was about you but the second you read it he knew you would know. He was kriffing screwed.

Hux ran away before you could talk to him so you decided to give him some time and then go to his office and see if he was there.

You knocked on the door but no one answered, a stormtrooper, and a bold one at that, walks up to you.

“He's not going to be in there and if he is he won't see anybody.”

“Why? What’s happened?” You ask with a worry-filled tone and the expressionless Stormtrooper lets out a laugh.

“You haven't seen it yet? Read it? If I were you I’d check your email and see for yourself. It’s pretty self-explanatory that he knows it's gotten out, I don't know when he'll come out of his room and if he does it will be to kill whatever person leaked it.”

“Leaked what?” You press further, too scared to even touch your Datapad.

“It’s a love letter, written by the General.”

Your eyes widen and your heart sinks. He wrote someone a love letter, a love letter that everyone has read. Given that this is the first you’re hearing of it you assume it isn't about you. You aren't ready to read it, have your heartbreak when you see the name in the letter. The name of some other person who had somehow warmed the cold General's heart.

You nodded at the trooper silently and then swiftly turned and walked back to your quarters, they were only around the corner from Hux’s.

Before you close your door Kylo walks down the hall and calls your name, his tone almost happy sounding. He enjoys when bad things happen to his least favourite General and he wants to quickly share the knowledge with you that he is certain you’re the object of the letter but you yell a, “Not now!” Before slamming the door in his face.

Maybe he should wait until another time.

You make your way to your bed and take your Datapad out, gripping the sides gently as you stare at it. You are filled with a mix of the fear of knowing and curiosity.

You tap the screen, unlock it and open your emails. More than ten different people have sent you this picture, it's a bit hard to read the letter but as you zoom in it becomes more clear, and as you read further on it become more evident as well.

~ I like the sound of your voice, it’s small most of the time, you sound unsure of yourself, when I pass you in the hallway and you're asking a question like you expect yourself to know everything.

I like when your voice is loud, when your laugh fills my ears and when you're explaining something you care about, like crystals and power and politics. I know how smart you are the way you explain intricate things so easily, though you brush it off as nothing.

I like that there isn't a planet in the universe you aren’t aware of, that no matter the state of it you dream of going to one day. I fear for any person who tries to stop you.

I feel for the way your past is like a weight on your shoulders but you never let anyone catch you slouching, masking the pain of the past is hard and I want nothing more than to relieve you of it.

When you smile your cheeks round in this perfect way that makes your eyes squint closed and your teeth visible to all, you always bring your hands up to hide it once you realize but that short moment of pure bliss and happiness is all I look forward to some days.

Your elegant composure, your respect for your work, and your pride in your position are almost as beautiful as any other of your features. You look out the windows into space as though you've never seen a star while simultaneously capturing the light of each one you behold in your eyes. Your touch is always gentle, your compassion is contagious and your intelligent outlook on life and war is astounding.

Perhaps I've never felt love before, I'm not entirely sure what feeling love entails. It seems as though it’s something you could be an expert in, I’d love to hear you explain it to me, the way you think it works.

I think it's in the way my cheeks go red when your skin fleetingly touches mine, the way my stomach drops when you look at me from across a room filled with important people. I think I love you because you're on my mind every second of the day, even when you're across the universe, the way I always want you closer to me. I'm no expert but I think this is what love feels like, I think I'm in love with you. ~

Your mouth was hanging open as you read it, he doesn't say your name in it but you can tell it's about you. You quickly close the tablet and your eyes, lying down in your bed as you think it over. Maybe it isn't about you, maybe you’re projecting yourself into it because you want so desperately for his ever so formally written love letter to be about you.

You can’t imagine anyone else making him feel such things, you can't imagine anyone else matching his description the way it so perfectly matches you.

The love letter is so clearly written by Hux too, even if you were given it with no context you could tell. The way it starts so unsurely, the formality of it and the properness, the lack of spelling mistakes and the way compliments are worded. Though it seems out of character for him to even write a love letter in the first place, this is exactly the way you would have imagined it.

You turn the Datapad back on, you reread it over and over and over again until you found yourself walking over to his door, knocking quietly.

He doesn't answer so you knock harder, you use his professional title to give you a bit of confidence.

“General Hux?” You ask boldly as you wait to be met with only silence.

You knock again, your voice softer this time. “Armitage?”

He’s standing on the other side of the door, face paler than usual and his usually steady hands shaking. He can tell you've read it, he can tell because why else would you be here other than to set him straight.

He needs to open the door, apologize, promise to keep his distance and then hope the Supreme Leader doesn't kill him the second you ask him to. He should have never fallen for Kylo’s apprentice. The smart force sensitive woman who knows too much about Sith and Jedi and the faults that lie with their practices to become victim to them.

He thinks you’re too smart to fall victim to him, and his foolish heart.

But you aren’t, you don't see it that way so you knock one more time and plead with him. “Armitage, please.”

He presses the button opening the door, the door you could have easily forced your way through if you really wanted, if you were angry with him, but you weren't.

He’s standing there, usual proud shoulders slumped as he looks at the floor, refusing to look at what sort of expression is on your face.

You walk in and close the door behind you.

You walk up to him and place your palm on his cheek and his lip quivers slightly before you make him look at you. You can tell he is filled with regret and is mentally punishing himself, as he often does.

Your eyes are filled with the same forgiving kindness they always are.

You let go now that he's looking at you and step back, you feel for a moment as though maybe you acted too soon.

“I read your letter.” You say quietly and he looks away again, unable to lie or do anything. Completely submissive to the way you decide this conversation goes.

“Was it about me?” You boldly ask and his hands shake at his sides, he goes to grab the edges of his uniform but that's when he realizes, oh to his horror, that he isn't wearing it.

Instead, he is wearing black cotton pants and a white undershirt, completely inappropriate for even a droid to see him in, but here you are.

He takes in a deep breath, looks around you and beside you and then finally meets your eyes. He can't lie, he can’t nod or shake his head, he just looks at you with sorry eyes before he starts apologizing, sorries coming from his mouth like a waterfall.

“I'm sorry, General Y/L/N, the letter was... unprofessional, completely erratic and I should have never written a single word. I'm sorry for my lack of composure, my inability to control and retain myself and it will never happen again. Our professional relationship will not be affected in this manner and I will never speak of it or think those things of you again.” By the end of it, his eyes are red, he's about to cry but he wouldn’t dare let himself show any more emotions to present himself as even weaker.

His hands shake and his lip quivers even more, his voice is wobbly and he doesn't even sound genuine, he sounds disappointed in himself, like a wounded dog begging their owner not to hit them. Though he’s been a situation like that before.

You bite your lip as you think over the words in the letter, again and again, silence fills the room.

“I think I know how it works,” you start and he looks up. “I could explain it to you. I could explain the way it feels to me.”

He raises an eyebrow as he looks at you like you’re crazy, but his expression softens when he realizes you’re just as scared as he is.

You take in his soft expression and begin to elaborate, present your feelings so you’re both just as open and just as weak and exposed to the prospect of love.

“I like the way you look at me, you don't look at anyone else with such soft eyes and it makes me feel proud almost that I get that from you. I like your devotion to the order, your devotion to the galaxy and a realistic peace.

I like when your hair is out of place and I really really like seeing you outside of your uniform like this.

My feelings for you run deep, they have for a while and I know it’s more than something simple, because of the way I hide the thoughts of you from the Supreme Leader, the way my heart skips a beat when you return a smile to me and the way I can tell when your smile isn't genuine.

I think I'm no expert but I do think I’m in love with you too.”

You ramble on and he stares at you, his heart skipping beats and pounding against his ribcage, his hands are still shaking. He’s still scared even though he now knows your feelings are mutual. He is scared of how Kylo will react, he is still scared for the lower level officers to think he has a weakness, even if it’s true and it’s standing right in front of him, stepping closer and placing your hands on his to steady them.

It's in this moment the shy little boy of his past creeps into his skin. He wants to touch you, hold you or do anything but he's frozen solid. You bring his hands and place them on your hips, he revels in the way his skin tingles, his fingers squeeze just slightly to hold you a bit tighter.

You are worried and rightfully so about the Supreme Leader, about what people will think since everybody knows about the letter. But at this moment it doesn't matter, what matters is the way his pale skin shows his blush so boldly, the way his ginger hair looks so dark in the dim light and the fact that you can see a few scarce freckles across his nose because your so close it’s almost pressed to your face.

But it doesn't last long.

A Stormtrooper knocks on the door, terrified of being shot with a blaster the second the General opens the door. But when the door opens the General they weren't expecting is standing on the other side. You smile at the trooper.

“Can I help you?” You ask politely and the troopers heartbeat slows down.

“The Supreme Leader summons General Hux,” he states as confidently as he can, now unsure of himself since he thought this was Hux’s room, not yours.

“Does he now?” You tease as the Stormtrooper nods.

“We will be right there, thank you.” You say closing the door but before the door closes the trooper sees Hux is standing beside you.

The trooper decides himself that the love letter was definitely about General Y/L/N and that this was evidence that the two Generals are some sort of “thing” and that news spread faster than any letter ever could.

They are certain that such gossip is spreading around, they don't care much at all. Armitage doesn't care about anything except the way you smile at him as you turn back around and don’t hesitate to come closer to him again.

You grab his face, squishing his cheeks a bit as you bring him closer. He’s nervous, lacking experience and wondering how this wonderful person has any interest in him at all but he doesn't pull away. He feels himself leaning in, his eyes fluttering shut and he feels your breath on his lips before they touch.

The kiss is soft, a combination of hesitation and fear, like you’re breaking all the rules. His freckled nose presses against yours as you tilt your head and move your lips in a calculated manner. Both of your eyebrows furrowed in concentration like this important task was yet another thing for you both to perfect.

His hands remain pliant at his sides and you grab them, placing them on your hips again and oh how he loves to hold you there. He squeezes harder as you continue to melt your lips against his, he mimics your actions, breaths out his nose tickling your cheek, never wanting to pull away.

It’s at this moment he finally believes in the force. Not that he hadn't felt it before when it wrapped around his throat or threw his body across a room. In those moments he felt it as pain and power, though it was described so differently he never believed that side of it until now. They way it prickled his arms and travelled up his spine, it left a wake where ever your fingers lingered on his cheeks. He felt you and he never wanted to stop feeling you like this.

When you walked down the hallway with him by your side, close but not touching, the troopers, the officers and the mechanics, they all stared, for how hadn't they seen before today that there was something more between the two Generals. It seems so obvious now that they’re in love, even when trying to conceal it.

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