#every 6-8 years they just make More x-files

[twogravesinsomecemetery]

Love that David and Gillian do The X-Files for a bit and they get sick of it so they quit but then 6 years later they do it again for the nostalgia but it's just a one-off thing so then 8 years after that they revive it AGAIN for a few more years until they quit for the second time and say they're leaving it for dead but WHAT DO YOU KNOW another 6 years later here we are and Gillian Isn't Saying No to a reboot

[downbadf0rficppl]

someone's there

Bucky x F!Reader

Summary: When you walk home from the office, someone seems to be following you home. Your best friend is not happy about that.

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Stalking/Stalker-Ex BF, Domestic Abuse, Anxiety, Angry!Bucky, Protective!Bucky, Panic Attack

Repost

You stepped out of the office, pulling your coat tighter around you against the night. It was mid-November and New York was getting colder and colder every day that passed by. You were excited about Christmas - it was one of your favourite times of the year. The lights that went up from apartment to apartment, the tree and ice rink in Rockefeller center that you and your boyfriend - Nathan - visited every year, you and Nathan driving up to Boston to meet your family. Well, your ex-boyfriend.

You'd broken up a month ago. He'd been laid off about a year ago and taken up drinking to fill the time. Nathan was not a very nice drunk. He'd yell and throw things when he was angry, which was most of the time when he was drunk, and then beg you to come back, saying that he needed you and that he'd clean up his act as soon as he got a job. You had a well-paying job - secretary to the Avengers - but Nathan was always the higher earner of the two of you. You could hardly sustain his lifestyle on your job, but you stayed. Why? You had no idea.

Nathan was a smart guy, he got picked up by some major firm headquartered in Manhattan just over a month after he got laid off. He was back to his old routine of leaving the house at 6 and coming back by 8 - you hardly saw him anymore.

And much to your dismay, the drinking didn't stop. Sure, he slowed down. He couldn't risk ruining his reputation at his new workplace. So he limited the drinking to after work. But he never stopped.

The throwing vases became throwing punches, the yelling became constant threats, consoling words became consoling sex.

You did well to hide the new bruises from your colleagues, although your act was not good enough to fool everybody. You'd let your guard down in the toilet, rolling your sleeves up to wash your hands, just as Natasha Romanoff. Yes, Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow aka the world's best assassin.

She didn't mention it there, but you were called to a meeting with her soon after. She sat you down with a glass of water and asked you a simple question: "Are you safe?"

Your wide eyes and trembling figure gave you away.

Nat implored you to break up with him or to at least come and live at the compound for a while - just until you figured out what you wanted to do.

You turned her offer down, stating that you were fine. You'd be fine. She fixed you with a stern glance, but even Natasha Romanoff couldn't force you to do something you didn't want.

Bucky, on the other hand, was a completely different story. He'd noticed the bruises long before Nat had, and gone out of his way to try and make your life easier. He sent you less paperwork to file, fewer menial tasks to do, and even put in a request for you to be moved to the New York office. In his eyes that meant you'd be further away from Nathan.

The next week, you both moved to Manhattan.

The bruises started to get darker, and more visible around your body. You dropped the short-sleeved dresses and low necklines in favour of long-sleeved turtlenecks with trousers.

Bucky worried for you. The dark rings around your eyes, the ghostly pallor of your skin. He was determined to save you. The only issue was he had no idea where you lived. New York was a big enough place that he'd never run into you. He knew you didn't live in Brooklyn, but that was about it.

The night where it all came to a head was after a Stark Gala. There was a group photo, where Bucky's arm rested on your hip while your arm rested on his. Nathan was pissed. He'd been sitting on the sofa when you came home, the photo open on his phone and a half-drunk bottle of whiskey in his hand. He pushed you into a wall and slapped you, his rings cutting into your face. He yelled every manner of words in your direction, calling you a 'slut' and a 'whore', and telling you that you were worthless. You cried, fresh bruises forming on your neck where he gripped you and blood dripping down your face.

You took his berating for the next few hours until Nathan retreated onto the sofa, sitting down and muttering under his breath. You opened your mouth, trying to defend yourself. Wrong move. Nathan stood up, even more agitated than before. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey that was almost finished and brought it down on your head.

The next thing you remember was waking up to 4 white walls. You were in a hospital, your hand being gripped tightly by someone. You tried to escape from the vice-like grip when a thumb ran over your knuckles. You knew those hands.

"Bucky." You whispered, your eyes still adjusting to the light. Your voice was sore from disuse, but the way that Bucky's eyes lit up, you would have thought that you were singing a love song just to him.

The calmness in your heart faded as soon as your brain caught up with you. You tried to convince Bucky that he needed to go but he shushed you gently.

"Shh. Don't stress yourself out. You're safe. I promise." The red rings around his eyes gave him away. Bucky had been crying. Over you.

You held his hand tightly that day. And the day after. And even the day after that. You weren't sure if you would ever find the strength to let go.

By the time you were out of the hospital, you'd moved back to Upstate New York - Bucky had made sure that you would never have to set foot in the city again if you didn't want to.

You returned back to work as normal - the restraining order you had filed against Nathan made your mind rest easier. The whole team was happy to have you back and smiling again, but they made sure to check in with you a hell of a lot more than they used to. Clint would swing by with an apple, and accidentally leave it at your desk - the first time, you'd felt bad and tried to return it, but you quickly caught on to his tactics. Nat would bring up game nights and movie nights, begging you to come, even if it was just you both.

But most of all, Bucky. Every day, you'd wake up to a text from him, wishing you a wonderful morning and spewing some inspirational affirmations for the start of the day. He'd bring you coffee, made just how you like it, as soon as he was back from his morning run. He'd spent a while perfecting the drink - making sure it was exactly to your standard. He'd walk you to your apartment for your biweekly 2pm therapy sessions (that he'd set you up with after he had realised how much difficulty you were having sleeping), and then off to lunch at some random hole-in-the-wall spot that he knew you would love. He'd call you as you got home, making sure you got home safe, and then a goodnight text to fall asleep to.

To others, his persistent need to be around you would be stifling. But after 4 years of having your needs be put lower than the damn cockroaches in the walls, it was nice to feel wanted.

You set your life up - personal bank accounts, new social media - anything to separate that part of your life from your new one. You got a new phone (courtesy of Tony, who insisted on buying you the latest iPhone, no matter how hard you tried to convince him that he didn't need to do that because 'where on earth would you find the money to pay him back?' He scoffed at that, "I'm a billionaire hun, I think I can afford to buy my secretary a new phone). You went to get your haircut, the shorter length was something you knew Nathan would have hated.

You'd walked into the compound the day after you got it cut, worried that no one would like it as much as you did.

As soon as you made it to the kitchen, you heard a loud wolf whistle. Nat was sitting on the sofa with Sam, and they both cheered loudly as you posed for them.

Bucky's jaw dropped as he walked into the kitchen. You were still showing off for Nat and Sam - you hadn't seen him walk in.

He walked over, reaching behind you to get a pod for the coffee machine, leaning down to whisper in your ear, "Looking good, Doll." His hot breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine.

You smiled up at him, before grabbing an apple and heading back toward your desk. You glanced back at Bucky and your eyes drifted downwards to a very large and very prominent issue. You stifled a giggle before getting back to work.

You'd continued to tease Bucky for a while, inconspicuous brushes and a few comments here and there. Enough to make him flustered, but not enough to make him suspicious.

He continued being the perfect gentleman. Helping you when you needed him to, being there when no one else was.

You started your normal journey back home, getting out of the compound was sometimes a tedious affair because of the thousands of security gates between the compound and the outermost gate. Given that this is where the Avengers live and train, it's justified. Still tedious though.

It was a quarter mile from the compound to the bus stop that took you home - you didn't like driving, especially in the frost and the dark. You put your headphones in, picking back up on the podcast you started this morning. It was an interesting one - some new True Crime podcast that your best friend had recommended to you.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up as you walked through a dark and lonely street. You gripped your bag tighter around you and sped up. There was someone following you.

You glanced behind you, your eyes catching sight of brown hair and a blue t-shirt. It had Palm Springs emblazoned on it. Funny. You'd bought Nathan a similar t-shirt a few years ago.

You fished your phone out of your pocket, quickly dialing the one person you felt safest with.

"Doll?" Bucky picked after the first ring.

"Bucky, cred că cineva mă urmărește." You said, your voice loud enough that the other person could hear you were on the phone.

"Tell me where you are, Doll, I'll come and get you." You could hear Bucky pulling on a jacket and grabbing his keys.

"Umm, cred că sunt aproape de Joey's."

"The pizza place?"

"Da, îl văd de unde sunt." The footsteps behind you seem to be getting louder, but you forced yourself to remain calm, "Am să te aștept acolo. Vă rog să veniți repede."

You ducked into the pizza place, walking straight up to the counter. By now, you were sure of who it was - but Nathan didn't follow you into the pizza place. Maybe you were just overreacting. Joey's was mostly empty, with a few teenagers here and there - probably camping out after some house party that got shut down.

"Same as always, kiddo?" Joey asked, and you nodded with a slight grin. You and Bucky came to Joey's Pizza Place a lot - Bucky used to say that it felt like home. You were inclined to agree.

"No metal man with you today?" Joey enjoyed teasing Bucky. His dad, also named Joey, had fought alongside Bucky in the war. Joey had grown up on stories of the greatness of the Howling Commandoes and it had been one of his greatest pleasures to serve him pizza every time they came.

"He's coming - got caught up in traffic."

"Busy men, huh?" You giggled at that.

The door opened again. You turned around to find yourself face-to-face with someone you hoped you'd never see again. Nathan's sister.

"Thought I'd find you here, bitch."

June stalked over to you, her face filled with rage. She had been good friends with you before Nathan and your relationship started going wrong, but when you had confided your pains with her, she'd turned her back on you. Blood is thicker than water. She'd called you names before - filling your comments with every vile comment she could think of, texting and emailing you death threats, anything to remind you of just how broken and damaged you were.

Before you knew what was happening, her hand collided with your cheek. The whole place burst into action.

Joey jumped around the side of the counter as June hurled insults at your face.

You tried to push her away as she swung at you again, but her hand hit your shoulder.

Joey pushed you behind him, as one of the kitchen hands stepped out to pull June back.

A teenager was on the phone with the police.

You tried to cover your ears as the noise built in your head.

The door swung open, letting in a draft.

Boots on the linoleum floor. Familiar boots.

Sirens.

"We were in the neighbourhood, Sergeant." Something about a noise complaint.

A hand pulling you into a firm chest. Tears streaming down your face. Your favourite voice whispering sweet nothings, stroking your hair, begging you to calm down.

"You're doing so good for me, Doll, just keep breathing." Bucky's pulse was steady under your hand. Slowly, your breathing evened out and you lifted your head to meet Bucky's eyes. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around you to stop you from collapsing.

You stayed in Bucky's embrace while the police wrapped up - June was being taken to the local PD for the altercation and also driving under the influence. Bucky told you that Nathan had also been arrested for violating the restraining order. Your heart sunk.

"I'll never escape him, will I?" You whispered to Bucky, as you sat down in your favourite booth to eat.

"You can, and you will," Bucky reassured you, squeezing your hand in his.

You ate your pizza in relative silence after that - most of the shop had cleared out with the police. Joey gave you your pizza for free, along with a tight hug on the side. He told you that you'd always be safe in here, "although metal man seems to have that covered." Bucky glared at the nickname, making you both laugh.

You walked hand-in-hand to Bucky's motorbike - his fingers ghosted over the bruise on your cheekbone from the slap as he fastened your helmet on your head.

"It's nothing, Buck. I've had worse." Bucky gave you a pointed look, "Too soon?"

He threw his leg over the bike and you settled behind him, resting your cheek on his spine. "Forever is too soon for my liking."

You smiled at that and nuzzled further into his back.

"Where to madam?" He said, putting on an exaggerated British accent. You leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Take me home, Buck."

fin.

buy me a coffee

[vaspider]

Hey, I have a slightly cheeky request - I happened to come across your answer on mediachomp about the history of American recipes. I don't know if you remember it, it must have been at least 3 years ago. Anyway, you described why recipes in America in the 50s/60s were so Jell-O-heavy and horrible.

Firstly, thanks for the history lesson, I found it really interesting!

Anyway, you also talked about your grandmother and how she made 2 pies for dinner every day of the year. And that you have all her recipes 😉

And idk - I love to cook, I love to cook traditional recipes from all countries - and this short description of your grandmother has given me appetite 😅

Would you mind telling me 1 or 2 of your favourite recipes?

Well, first of all, that's... not my post. That's a media aggregator that is actually stealing my words and @steampunkette's & @thestuffedalligator's and putting ads on them and making money off of them. I don't know how the others feel about this but this is just wholesale theft for the purpose of making ad revenue, and while it did direct you back to me, most people don't actually come back and interact with writers when our words get hijacked for the direct ad revenue benefit of others.

I'm not angry with you about this - I'm explaining. Taking a whole long thing someone wrote and just going "hunh, interesting," at the start and then making revenue off of it isn't actually okay. A lot of writers file a lot of DCMA takedown notices over shit like this. So, like, thank you for letting me know, but this isn't a fun positive thing to find out. It's... annoying.

Anyway, I'm not doing a lot of baking or cooking at the moment because I had a hysterectomy 9 days ago, so, have a low-spoons recipe.

1 box Trader Joe's gluten-free gnocchi

3 medium Tupperware containers (mine are 8" x 4" x 2") with airtight lids

6-8 T butter, divided into thirds and cut into chunks

Parmesan cheese, grated (green-bottle shake cheese works great)

Onion powder, garlic powder, salt, and other herbs (parsley, sage, thyme, oregano) to taste

A small bag of spinach

Boil gnocchi. While it's boiling, divide the butter and spinach between the containers. Tear the spinach roughly. Add seasonings and shaky cheese to the containers. Put at least 1/3c shaky cheese in there, maybe 1/2c. Trust me.

When the gnocchi are done, drain them and immediately divide them between the containers. Put the lids on loosely, put all 3 containers in the microwave at once if you can, and microwave for 30s. This is just to make sure the butter fully melts during the next bit.

Close the lids firmly and shake the everloving shit out of them. Preferably don't do this all yourself, give the other 2 containers to whoever else you're feeding and let them shake their own.

The starch from the gnocchi will combine with the cheese and spices and make a really easy alfredo-style sauce. The spinach will wilt. You will have a meal with carbs, veggies, and protein in about 5 minutes that feels a lot more elaborate than the work it took.

It ain't multiple pies a day, but it'll feed you.

[d0wnb4df0rf1cm3n]

Someone's there.

Bucky x Reader

Summary: When you walk home from the office, someone seems to be following you home. Your best friend is not happy about that.

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Stalking/Stalker-Ex BF, Domestic Abuse, Anxiety, Angry!Bucky, Protective!Bucky, Panic Attack

AN: This is definitely not what I intended to write when I started but anyway. Have good day my dudes!!!

You stepped out of the office, pulling your coat tighter around you against the night. It was mid-November and New York was getting colder and colder every day that passed by. You were excited about Christmas - it was one of your favourite times of the year. The lights that went up from apartment to apartment, the tree and ice rink in Rockefeller center that you and your boyfriend - Nathan - visited every year, you and Nathan driving up to Boston to meet your family. Well, your ex-boyfriend.

You'd broken up a month ago. He'd been laid off about a year ago and taken up drinking to fill the time. Nathan was not a very nice drunk. He'd yell and throw things when he was angry, which was most of the time when he was drunk, and then beg you to come back, saying that he needed you and that he'd clean up his act as soon as he got a job. You had a well-paying job - secretary to the Avengers - but Nathan was always the higher earner of the two of you. You could hardly sustain his lifestyle on your job, but you stayed. Why? You had no idea.

Nathan was a smart guy, he got picked up by some major firm headquartered in Manhattan just over a month after he got laid off. He was back to his old routine of leaving the house at 6 and coming back by 8 - you hardly saw him anymore.

And much to your dismay, the drinking didn't stop. Sure, he slowed down. He couldn't risk ruining his reputation at his new workplace. So he limited the drinking to after work. But he never stopped.

The throwing vases became throwing punches, the yelling became constant threats, consoling words became consoling sex.

You did well to hide the new bruises from your colleagues, although your act was not good enough to fool everybody. You'd let your guard down in the toilet, rolling your sleeves up to wash your hands, just as Natasha Romanoff. Yes, Natasha Romanoff aka the Black Widow aka the world's best assassin.

She didn't mention it there, but you were called to a meeting with her soon after. She sat you down with a glass of water and asked you a simple question: "Are you safe?"

Your wide eyes and trembling figure gave you away.

Nat implored you to break up with him or to at least come and live at the compound for a while - just until you figured out what you wanted to do.

You turned her offer down, stating that you were fine. You'd be fine. She fixed you with a stern glance, but even Natasha Romanoff couldn't force you to do something you didn't want.

Bucky, on the other hand, was a completely different story. He'd noticed the bruises long before Nat had, and gone out of his way to try and make your life easier. He sent you less paperwork to file, fewer menial tasks to do, and even put in a request for you to be moved to the New York office. In his eyes that meant you'd be further away from Nathan.

The next week, you both moved to Manhattan.

The bruises started to get darker, and more visible around your body. You dropped the short-sleeved dresses and low necklines in favour of long-sleeved turtlenecks with trousers.

Bucky worried for you. The dark rings around your eyes, the ghostly pallor of your skin. He was determined to save you. The only issue was he had no idea where you lived. New York was a big enough place that he'd never run into you. He knew you didn't live in Brooklyn, but that was about it.

The night where it all came to a head was after a Stark Gala. There was a group photo, where Bucky's arm rested on your hip while your arm rested on his. Nathan was pissed. He'd been sitting on the sofa when you came home, the photo open on his phone and a half-drunk bottle of whiskey in his hand. He pushed you into a wall and slapped you, his rings cutting into your face. He yelled every manner of words in your direction, calling you a 'slut' and a 'whore', and telling you that you were worthless. You cried, fresh bruises forming on your neck where he gripped you and blood dripping down your face.

You took his berating for the next few hours until Nathan retreated onto the sofa, sitting down and muttering under his breath. You opened your mouth, trying to defend yourself. Wrong move. Nathan stood up, even more agitated than before. He grabbed the bottle of whiskey that was almost finished and brought it down on your head.

The next thing you remember was waking up to 4 white walls. You were in a hospital, your hand being gripped tightly by someone. You tried to escape from the vice-like grip when a thumb ran over your knuckles. You knew those hands.

"Bucky." You whispered, your eyes still adjusting to the light. Your voice was sore from disuse, but the way that Bucky's eyes lit up, you would have thought that you were singing a love song just to him.

The calmness in your heart faded as soon as your brain caught up with you. You tried to convince Bucky that he needed to go but he shushed you gently.

"Shh. Don't stress yourself out. You're safe. I promise." The red rings around his eyes gave him away. Bucky had been crying. Over you.

You held his hand tightly that day. And the day after. And even the day after that. You weren't sure if you would ever find the strength to let go.

By the time you were out of the hospital, you'd moved back to Upstate New York - Bucky had made sure that you would never have to set foot in the city again if you didn't want to.

You returned back to work as normal - the restraining order you had filed against Nathan made your mind rest easier. The whole team was happy to have you back and smiling again, but they made sure to check in with you a hell of a lot more than they used to. Clint would swing by with an apple, and accidentally leave it at your desk - the first time, you'd felt bad and tried to return it, but you quickly caught on to his tactics. Nat would bring up game nights and movie nights, begging you to come, even if it was just you both.

But most of all, Bucky. Every day, you'd wake up to a text from him, wishing you a wonderful morning and spewing some inspirational affirmations for the start of the day. He'd bring you coffee, made just how you like it, as soon as he was back from his morning run. He'd spent a while perfecting the drink - making sure it was exactly to your standard. He'd walk you to your apartment for your biweekly 2pm therapy sessions (that he'd set you up with after he had realised how much difficulty you were having sleeping), and then off to lunch at some random hole-in-the-wall spot that he knew you would love. He'd call you as you got home, making sure you got home safe, and then a goodnight text to fall asleep to.

To others, his persistent need to be around you would be stifling. But after 4 years of having your needs be put lower than the damn cockroaches in the walls, it was nice to feel wanted.

You set your life up - personal bank accounts, new social media - anything to separate that part of your life from your new one. You got a new phone (courtesy of Tony, who insisted on buying you the latest iPhone, no matter how hard you tried to convince him that he didn't need to do that because 'where on earth would you find the money to pay him back?' He scoffed at that, "I'm a billionaire hun, I think I can afford to buy my secretary a new phone). You went to get your haircut, the shorter length was something you knew Nathan would have hated.

You'd walked into the compound the day after you got it cut, worried that no one would like it as much as you did.

As soon as you made it to the kitchen, you heard a loud wolf whistle. Nat was sitting on the sofa with Sam, and they both cheered loudly as you posed for them.

Bucky's jaw dropped as he walked into the kitchen. You were still showing off for Nat and Sam - you hadn't seen him walk in.

He walked over, reaching behind you to get a pod for the coffee machine, leaning down to whisper in your ear, "Looking good, Doll." His hot breath against your neck sent shivers down your spine.

You smiled up at him, before grabbing an apple and heading back toward your desk. You glanced back at Bucky and your eyes drifted downwards to a very large and very prominent issue. You stifled a giggle before getting back to work.

You'd continued to tease Bucky for a while, inconspicuous brushes and a few comments here and there. Enough to make him flustered, but not enough to make him suspicious.

He continued being the perfect gentleman. Helping you when you needed him to, being there when no one else was.

You started your normal journey back home, getting out of the compound was sometimes a tedious affair because of the thousands of security gates between the compound and the outermost gate. Given that this is where the Avengers live and train, it's justified. Still tedious though.

It was a quarter mile from the compound to the bus stop that took you home - you didn't like driving, especially in the frost and the dark. You put your headphones in, picking back up on the podcast you started this morning. It was an interesting one - some new True Crime podcast that your best friend had recommended to you.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up as you walked through a dark and lonely street. You gripped your bag tighter around you and sped up. There was someone following you.

You glanced behind you, your eyes catching sight of brown hair and a blue t-shirt. It had Palm Springs emblazoned on it. Funny. You'd bought Nathan a similar t-shirt a few years ago.

You fished your phone out of your pocket, quickly dialing the one person you felt safest with.

"Doll?" Bucky picked after the first ring.

"Bucky, cred că cineva mă urmărește." You said, your voice loud enough that the other person could hear you were on the phone.

"Tell me where you are, Doll, I'll come and get you." You could hear Bucky pulling on a jacket and grabbing his keys.

"Umm, cred că sunt aproape de Joey's."

"The pizza place?"

"Da, îl văd de unde sunt." The footsteps behind you seem to be getting louder, but you forced yourself to remain calm, "Am să te aștept acolo. Vă rog să veniți repede."

You ducked into the pizza place, walking straight up to the counter. By now, you were sure of who it was - but Nathan didn't follow you into the pizza place. Maybe you were just overreacting. Joey's was mostly empty, with a few teenagers here and there - probably camping out after some house party that got shut down.

"Same as always, kiddo?" Joey asked, and you nodded with a slight grin. You and Bucky came to Joey's Pizza Place a lot - Bucky used to say that it felt like home. You were inclined to agree.

"No metal man with you today?" Joey enjoyed teasing Bucky. His dad, also named Joey, had fought alongside Bucky in the war. Joey had grown up on stories of the greatness of the Howling Commandoes and it had been one of his greatest pleasures to serve him pizza every time they came.

"He's coming - got caught up in traffic."

"Busy men, huh?" You giggled at that.

The door opened again. You turned around to find yourself face-to-face with someone you hoped you'd never see again. Nathan's sister.

"Thought I'd find you here, bitch."

June stalked over to you, her face filled with rage. She had been good friends with you before Nathan and your relationship started going wrong, but when you had confided your pains with her, she'd turned her back on you. Blood is thicker than water. She'd called you names before - filling your comments with every vile comment she could think of, texting and emailing you death threats, anything to remind you of just how broken and damaged you were.

Before you knew what was happening, her hand collided with your cheek. The whole place burst into action.

Joey jumped around the side of the counter as June hurled insults at your face.

You tried to push her away as she swung at you again, but her hand hit your shoulder.

Joey pushed you behind him, as one of the kitchen hands stepped out to pull June back.

A teenager was on the phone with the police.

You tried to cover your ears as the noise built in your head.

The door swung open, letting in a draft.

Boots on the linoleum floor. Familiar boots.

Sirens.

"We were in the neighbourhood, Sergeant." Something about a noise complaint.

A hand pulling you into a firm chest. Tears streaming down your face. Your favourite voice whispering sweet nothings, stroking your hair, begging you to calm down.

"You're doing so good for me, Doll, just keep breathing." Bucky's pulse was steady under your hand. Slowly, your breathing evened out and you lifted your head to meet Bucky's eyes. He kept his arms wrapped tightly around you to stop you from collapsing.

You stayed in Bucky's embrace while the police wrapped up - June was being taken to the local PD for the altercation and also driving under the influence. Bucky told you that Nathan had also been arrested for violating the restraining order. Your heart sunk.

"I'll never escape him, will I?" You whispered to Bucky, as you sat down in your favourite booth to eat.

"You can, and you will," Bucky reassured you, squeezing your hand in his.

You ate your pizza in relative silence after that - most of the shop had cleared out with the police. Joey gave you your pizza for free, along with a tight hug on the side. He told you that you'd always be safe in here, "although metal man seems to have that covered." Bucky glared at the nickname, making you both laugh.

You walked hand-in-hand to Bucky's motorbike - his fingers ghosted over the bruise on your cheekbone from the slap as he fastened your helmet on your head.

"It's nothing, Buck. I've had worse." Bucky gave you a pointed look, "Too soon?"

He threw his leg over the bike and you settled behind him, resting your cheek on his spine. "Forever is too soon for my liking."

You smiled at that and nuzzled further into his back.

"Where to madam?" He said, putting on an exaggerated British accent. You leaned up to whisper in his ear.

"Take me home, Buck."

[imtryingbuck]

Come back

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: The team lose their friend (I’m bad at summaries sorry)

Word count: 3,919

Warnings: Angst. Sad times. Swearing. A grave gets dug up. Brock Rumlow. 

Masterlist   Series Masterlist

  In Loving Memory Of Y/n L/n

    Killed In Action Saving 5 Innocent Children

    Dedicated Agent

    Friend To Everyone

 10/05/1990 - 10/05/2017

“Pass me a donut will ya”

Everyday since the plaque went up 5 years ago, Bucky always reads it. Everyday a small chuckle will leave his lips when reading the quote Tony made sure was engraved in the marble. ‘She always said it and she did tell me once that when she died to have it on the plaque they HAD to give her’ Tony repeated that conversation when they deciding what would be put on the plaque. It was true, did she always say it. He can hear her voice saying the words he reads every day. 

Putting his two fingers to his lips he lightly kisses them, the gently places his fingers on her photo. Her ID photo took 8 tries to take because she wouldn’t sit still or she wouldn’t keep a straight face. In the end they settled on the final one, her with a huge smile on her face. She told Bucky once when he had asked-

‘why are you smiling in your photo?’

‘Because a smile a day keeps the dentist at bay’ 

‘That’s not an expression’

‘Well it should be’

He missed her more and more every day. Today however left a bitter taste in his mouth, today was the anniversary of her death. 

Every year since they watched their friend die, the team makes sure they don’t have missions just so they can celebrated her death as well as her birthday.

Every year on that painful day they gather in the common room and watch all of her favourite films and play all the board games she went crazy over, they would order and/or cook her favourite food. Then they would each blow out a candle on the large donut Tony had specially made for her birthday. 

He remembers that day when Tony surprised her with it a few years before her death. Her squeals made everyone laugh, she made everyone blow out one candle ‘it’s my birthday and I want everyone to get a wish’ and as the years passed they still did it.

They were halfway through the third film when director Fury walked in.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but you guys need to hear this”

“What is it?” Tony asks sitting up from where he was slouching.

“Earlier today there was an attack at SHIELD headquarters”

“How many are dead?” Steve asks. 

“The real question you need to ask is how many are alive Rogers”

“Well?” Natasha speaks up from where she sits next to Wanda.

“None. 28 people are in critical condition” each member of the team murmur their different abbreviations of ‘oh god’.

“Who was it do you know?” Steve questions. 

Walking around the sofa and sitting down on the lone chair Fury sighs “There’s was only one person. With a symbol on their back, take a wild guess which one”

“Hydra” They all speak at the same time.

“Yep. Now heres the reason why I’m here. The computers were tampered with, the IT department has managed to find out what was deleted”

“Go on” Tony says when Fury trails off.

“The file.. the only file to be downloaded and deleted was Y/n’s.”

The teams reaction was different from one another’s however Bucky, Bucky’s heart stopped, he’d gone cold and clammy at the same time, so many questions circled his mind. Why hers? Why now? Why couldn’t they just leave her alone? Why her of all agents?

It was as if Steve could read his mind because it was him that asked “Why hers? She’s been dead for 6 years now. Why would Hydra want her file?”

“We-I don’t know. Now here’s the part you guys are not going to like. Ross wants Y/n’s body to be dug up”

Before anyone get say anything “Absolutely fucking not! You touch her grave I’ll kill you myself!” Bucky shouts.

“Then I’ll bring you back to life just to kill you again” booms Thor.

“Listen to me, I don’t want to do this! Ro-“

“I don’t care what Ross wants. It’s bad enough her headstone needs to be replaced every two months because of arseholes keep wanting a piece of it, now you want to dig her up? It nearly killed all of us watching her coffin go into that hole now you want us to watch it come back up?” Bucky’s left hand is balled tight in a fist as he paces back and forth.

“You don’t have to watch and you need to watch your tone” Fury shot back.

“What are you going to do with her?” Wanda asks before Bucky can say anything.

“We’ll put her somewhere different- safer. It’s just a precaution and we have no idea what they want with her file. We don’t know why they picked her out of all active agents and Barnes I don’t like this anymore than you do, Y/n was” taking in a deep breath “I miss her too. I’m sorry but I’m going to give Ross the go ahead on this. You guys don’t have to to be there when it happens and when we find out what’s going on we’ll bury her again. I promise”

For a full 20 minutes after Fury left they were sitting in complete silence each trying to wrap their heads around the information they were just given. SHIELD headquarters had been attacked by Hydra - using just one person to assassinate so many agents. Out of all the Agents of SHIELD alive or dead they pick their friends file, their friend who they loved and adored the same friend who always had a smile on her face no matter what, the one person who could light up a room just by walking inside of it. A person who was so full of happiness and sunshine yet deadly and damn right terrifying when she needed to be. 

Now said friend who they have grieved for, for the past 6 years was about to have her resting place disturbed. Like Bucky had said to Fury, it nearly killed each and everyone of the Avengers and the Guardians - who came to Earth just to attend her funeral - they knew that the probability of dying on the job was high, of course they did, they just never expected it to happen to her, they had to watch as their friend, confidant, colleague, the better half to all of them lay in a box surrounded with 4 camera crews broadcasting their every move just so the whole world could watch them in their most vulnerable moment. They watched as her coffin was gently placed into the ground, knowing that it was going to be the last time they would ever see her after the soil would cover her.

They broke. Plain and simple, they broke. Worst part of it was is that the world lapped it up, the images of Natasha more famously known as the Black Widow standing at the grave of her best friend in bright colour clothing crying, was every where - people joked about how the deadly assassin was crying, saying she wasn’t as strong as everyone made her out to be because she cried. Y/n was undoubtedly the only person Nat felt comfortable with, the one person who saw Natasha as Natasha, not the Black Widow but her friend Natty. She was actually the first person in a very long time to see Nat cry, it was when the goldfish - that Y/n had brought her after she found out that Nat had always wanted one - had died, she felt so unbelievably stupid for crying over it but all Y/n did was hold her, told her to stop being silly for calling herself stupid. They buried it near the lake, just the two of them. Y/n even had bagpipes playing on her phone which made the redhead chuckle.

Wanda was called a crybaby because guess what? She was crying, she was crying because she was burying her best friend! The first person other than Steve to treat her like a human being. The first person to show her that not all people were bad, the one person who wasn’t scared of her that time when Wanda had lost control of her powers making people run in fear, not Y/n though nope she was the one who managed to help Wanda ground herself.

Steve was also mocked for crying for the loss of his friend, ‘Captain America weeps at funeral’, ‘Captain America is weak’, ‘Steve Rogers needs to give up the shield’. Y/n was the one who taught him how to use technology, showed him how the modern world worked and operated. She was the first person on his side when he wanted to track Bucky down. He loved her, not romantically, but he loved her so much. She made him feel normal, she never treat him like he was nearing a 100 years old who was missing 70 years of his life, like he actually was.

Sam just like the rest was called weak for crying at his friends funeral. The two of them drove the whole team insane when they were together (which was pretty much all the time) Like Steve he loved Y/n, she was his sister, his angel as he always called her. She was his best friend, favourite person in the world. The photo of Sam falling to his knees at the side of his angels grave was blasted all over the internet.

The photos of Tony clinging on to his now wife Pepper made front pages as well. ‘Billionaire Tony Stark cries at funeral of dead agent’. ‘Billionaire Tony Stark has to be held up by woman at funeral’. He saw Y/n as his daughter - shit she called him dad and he introduced her to anyone as his daughter. She didn’t see him as a bank, nope she hated it when he would give her money, one time she had to ask him if she could borrow money from him doing it with tears in her eyes because she felt ashamed of herself for asking. A few weeks later she gave him the money back with interest, when he told her to stop being silly and for her to keep it they argued for nearly 3 hours. She managed to slip the money into his pocket without him even realising it. Tony loved her so deeply, when he and Pepper found out they was having a baby girl they already had her name picked out - Morgan, Y/n’s middle name.

‘God of Thunder Thor spotted crying at funeral’ Like everyone else of course he was crying he lost his friend, she made him laugh, she made confused - once she convinced him that she was invisible and that he was the only person who could see or hear her, for 3 weeks he was absolutely convinced he was the only person on planet Earth who could see her. It wasn’t until Sam got back from a mission that the whole jig was up. He was truly captivated by her but even more so especially after she was able to lift Mjölnir higher up than Steve was able to, waved his hammer around like it weighed nothing. He, like Bucky, blamed himself for her death, he thought no believed it was his fault she was no longer with them. So yes of course he cried.

Bruce wasn’t allowed to attend his friends funeral because when she died he couldn’t control the big green beefy fella - as Y/n called him - from coming out. Fury and Ross said it would be bad and take the attention away from Y/n if the Hulk was there. He agreed. Y/n loved Hulk like she loved Bruce, she wasn’t afraid of the Hulk - Christ she once tried to have an arm wrestle with him! She didn’t once make Bruce feel like he was a freak or a dangerous monster as small minded people called him. No she treat him with respect and kindness. It took 2 months for him to go from being Hulk to being Bruce again.

Clint turned his hearing aids off for months after her death, he remembered her asking him to teach her how to sign language just so he didn’t have to always wear them. That was an interesting experience to say the very least. Clint adored her, adored the spark she carried around, adored the warmth and tranquillity she oozed. Her strength, willpower and willingness that no one could dream of having been one of the many things he loved about her, and what he misses. The day after she died he went home, home to his wife and children where he collapsed in Laura’s arms and cried himself to sleep that night. He too was mocked for being weak.

Then there was the photos of Bucky who was struggling to stand strong. ‘The world’s deadliest assassin cries’ was the headline on magazine’s for weeks or his personal favourite one ‘Winter Soldier more like Weak Soldier’ Like Nat he too was mocked because he wasn’t wearing all black but bright colours - hell they all were, it was what she wanted and whatever Y/n wanted, she got. Her death hit him the hardest. He loved her. He still loves her after 6 years of her being gone. ‘True love is what them two idiots have’ Tony would say. He blamed himself for what had happened to her, he had just turned his back for a second to hand a child to an agent when the whole building came down trapping her inside, he should of done more he always tells himself. Other than Steve she was his best friend, the one person who wasn’t afraid off his arm, the only person who could calm him down after a nightmare. She was the first person he opened up to and not once did she judge him or called him names, after he finished telling her all the things he remembered she got up and walked over to him and pulled him in for a hug, crying her heart out and apologising over and over again. The worst part for Bucky other than losing her was that he never got to tell her how madly in love he was with her. 

“It doesn’t make sense” Steve was the one who broke the silence.

“Which part?” Tony asks.

“Everything. The attack, Y/n’s file, Ross wanting her to be dug up. Nothing makes sense”

“We need to figure this out. We can’t let them do this to her” Sam shakes his head, whilst trying to keep the tears he was fighting back at bay.

“Fury let me into his thoughts. They think they’re trying to find out how to recreate her genes.” Wanda finally speaks.

Once again the room went quiet. Y/n back story was still a bit of a mystery to the team. It was just something she never spoke about, they knew of the scars that covered the majority of her body and they did know of her mutant gene and that was it. 

Y/n was exactly like Logan, better known as Wolverine. Though Logan’s a Beta level mutant whereas Y/n was an Alpha level, the only one of her kind. She had complete control over her abilities, her fighting skills were untouchable and unmatched. She was a part of the Weapon X program, when she was a young child she was taken from the orphanage she was placed at as a baby - and unknown to the team she was subjected to the worst abuse imaginable at the hands of The Facility. Unlike Logan though her Adamantium claws weren’t poisonous.

And what made Y/n even stronger was just like Wanda she had telekinesis abilities, though Y/n was a bit stronger than the other woman.

They didn’t know that Logan had found her when she was 16, with a chain wrapped around her neck that was connected to the wall, in a dark room that only had a toilet - nothing else. Logan had managed to get her out, which wasn’t easy considering she didn’t trust him and he wasn’t her handler. Logan kept her with him for roughly three years, moving around place to place, keeping each other safe. He was growing weak and unable to keep his promise to her, promise being he’d keep her safe. With a heavy heart he took her to Fury, begging the other man to take care of her. And since then she was a highly respected SHIELD agent and member of the Avengers.

They knew if Hydra were trying to recreate her genes they would have an army that would be unstoppable.

“But why dig her up? Hydra has her file so therefore they… they…”

“Tony? You okay?”

“Other than finding out my daughters grave will be disturbed, I’m fine”. He gets up and walks away.

One by one they follow his lead, leaving Bucky and Thor to blow out the candles - making the same wish as the previous years.

For her to come back.

The very next day they all gather at the cemetery and watched with a heavy heart as her grave gets dug up.

Three days later Fury gets a phone call “Fury you need to come to the Pentagon as soon as you can and don’t tell anyone”

“On my way”.

As soon as he got there he meets with Ross. “What’s all this about?”

“It’s not her”

“What are you talking about Ross?”

“Y/n… it’s not her in the coffin.”

“Hold on, you fucking lied to me you told me you wasn’t going to touch her!”

“Fury we brought a dead agent to the Pentagon for a reason”.

“A dead agent? Remember that dead agent saved you life how many times? Oh yeah six. Six fucking times she saved your arse Ross.” The anger coming off Fury made everyone in the room shift foot to foot.

“Sorry, we brought Y/n to the Pentagon for a reason”

“Why?”

“Simple. We wanted to make sure that they hadn’t gotten to her so we checked, and it’s not her. If-if you just look to your left Nick you’ll see the body that was in her coffin”

Fury stood there for a few minutes just staring at Ross before he looked over to where he had pointed. 

There laid the decaying body of a woman, that was most definitely not Y/n.

“H-how is this possible?”

“We don’t know. It’s a possibility that Hydra got her body first, but it doesn’t explain why they would put this person in her place”

“Or she could be alive?” Fury asked hopefully.

“She’s not” Ross puts a hand to Fury’s shoulder “I checked the footage of the attack and it’s not her, I asked some of the agents that could talk if the person had claws and they all said no” Ross hated himself for calling her ‘a dead agent’ even if she was just that, but like Fury had said, she saved his life more times than one. When Y/n was introduced to him, he had to admit he was intimidated by her. But as time went on they gained each others trust and respect.

“Fury you can’t tell the Winter Soldier about this”

“James. His name is James and you honestly expect me not to say anything to the team?”

“We have no idea how any of them will react, especially him and Thor”

He hated to admit that Ross did have a point, there was no idea how the two men who blamed themselves for her death, would react.

Sighing “What are we going to do?”

“I’m not sure. Let’s just hope and pray that they don’t have her I guess”.

The screams of pure terror coming from civilians were muffled by the gunfire and explosions, the bodies of civilians and SHIELD agents scattered amongst the wreckage. Hydra made another attack on the Capital.

The Avengers were able to stop Hydra agents from pushing further forwards. But when the ground started to shake they all looked at each other.

Both Steve and Bucky gulped at the sight of the Uber Tank, memories of seeing it during the war flashed through their minds.

“What the fuck is that!” Tony questioned.

“T-that’s Hydras Tank - I thought I destroyed it” Steve answers.

The rain pour of gunfire came to a stop on both sides, agents of Hydra smirked, agents of SHIELD looked terrified. The rumbling stopped, the only sound that could be heard was rubble still falling in the background.

When the hatch came open they waited with bated breath. Rumlow.

Brock Rumlow climbed up and out of the tank, standing on top with a megaphone.

“Do you like her? She’s a real beauty isn’t she? Took us longer than I care to admit to rebuild her but here she is!” He laughs “Hey so the attack the other week on your headquarters, sorry about that. We just needed something, take a wild guess what” Not receiving an answer he sighs and tilts his head to the side “It was to get your friends file! Jesus do I have to do all the work around here?”

“I’ve got a clean shot” Voiced Clint from where ever he was at.

“Not yet” Steve says.

“Truth to be told guys we didn’t need her file, we just wanted to give you a heads up to what was going to come” Waving his arms towards to chaos “I knew if we took her file it would get your attention, and it did didn’t it. I also know that her coffin was taken to the Pentagon, and I also know that Fury’s been keeping a secret from the almighty Avengers”

“What are you talking about?” Steve shouted.

Rumlow chuckles “It’s about time you spoke Captain America, the secret is… how about I just show you huh?” Stomping three times on the Uber Tank “Little bird why don’t you come out so you can play”

The hatch comes open again, a figure all in black - very similar outfit that the Winter Soldier use to wear - emerged and moving their way to stand next to Rumlow.

“Our little bird here is even stronger than she once was. We gave her the serum and it just enhanced her strength.” Moving closer to the person he whispers something none of them could hear. “Look I’ve gotta go, don’t worry I’ll be taking this beauty with me so no need to cry. I’ll let little bird have all the fun, she deserves it” Placing a kiss to the side of the woman’s head, he pushes her off. “Good luck everyone, you’re gonna need it” Climbing back into the tank, the tracks started to rumble once again before leaving the same way it came.

Nobody moved even long after Rumlow and the Uber Tank had gone. That was until some Hydra agents started to drop to the floor with foam spilling from their mouths.

Little bird as Rumlow called her took one step in front of the other until she was roughly 100 feet on the Avengers.

Her hand slowly came up to her face, removing the bottom half of her mask then the glasses.

They couldn’t believe it.

They didn’t want to believe it.

“Y/n?”

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Tags: @bethexo07 @doublebassallie

~ banner credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~

[aala-13jellychocolate]

Odious Love Part 10

This gif is not mine…….

Author: I hope you all will forgive my mistake and grammar too. I’m so sorry for the late update. It has been long there might change of writing style from previous chapter. I hope you enjoyed the new chapter.

Pairing: Junmyeon x Reader  

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut, CEO! AU

Prologue, Part 1(M),  Part 2,  Part 3 (M),  Part 4 (M), Part 5 (M), Part 6, Part 7 (M) Part 8 Part 9 (M)

Summary:  

Suho and you were sleeping together for the last 3 year. You were in love with him but he was not. He just wanted to depend upon someone emotionally. You were okay with it, you wanted to be with him in whichever way you can. You were not his girlfriend but he never treats you less. One day he got married to other women because of business. You thought everything was over between you two but he came back to you. He spends his wedding night with you leaving his wife all alone. 

Part 10

Life is unpredictable or it is predictable from the choices we make. You choose to stay with the person you love, even though you know you shouldn't. It was wrong to be greedy, yet you let your greed win, stealing moments. There wasn't any love to begin with, yet there was something you couldn't give a name to those feelings. Maybe it was only your imagination. 

You let your love evolve lust, stay as he wants, do what he wants, be what he needs or wants you to be. In all this, you lost yourself, lost so much that you became living humiliation. 

You have built life-like beggars for your parents. Give them so much struggle to let you out of your prison. They were the only ones fighting for you right now. No one else is here. No Junmyeon. No friends. No one else. Everything makes you hate yourself more. For being so weak and making your parents vulnerable. After everything, even after your mind has accepted the truth, your heart is not convinced. 

All this started six months ago. You have returned from your village. And Junmyeon was nowhere to be found, only for you. You remember him being angry as you weren't ready to shorten your trip. Next thing you know, he didn't even call or message you. It wasn't new. Usually, you are insecure and intimidated when he is not talking with you, but his post-marriage action gives you the security that he won't leave you soon or suddenly. You weren't aware you were assuming things on your own. 

After a few days, you get a letter from Suho, stating that he was leaving for Japan with Youra and his friends. It was odd, yet you didn't think much about it as it was about Suho's security. But that is where you went wrong. After a month or so, he came back from Japan just for two days. He was not happy to see, somewhat disgusted. You were irritated, plus Suho's bodyguard is acting like his assistant or, you should say, like a possessive/overprotective wife. Everyone needs to stay 3 feet away from Suho. 

He scolds you over missing one file. It was your mistake; you were so busy thinking about seeing him that you forgot the importance of work. It was the first time he was shouting at you in front of the whole staff. Still, you were okay with all the sharp words he was saying. You had made a tremendous mistake. But you don't comprehend when his words start coming as he is humiliating you. Or how you have lost your temper and slapped him in front of everyone. It wasn't supposed to happen, but it did happen. You immediately regret your action, but this was the thing he had taught you. Before you can rectify it, you have lost your job. It wasn't wrong. It is a huge mess you have created for yourself. 

While trying to find another job, you have attempted to reach him millions of times. Every message, every call, every letter went unanswered, or his guard answered him. 

Your struggle started with it. You couldn't keep up with anything. You were a mess inside out. Your heart hurt, and your mind was not working as you weren't getting any job. Not even a small cafe was ready to hire you. Then the miracle happen, or you thought it was a blessing. Mr. Kim called you back to work with him. You looked in the mirror for the last time before leaving your apartment, checking the formal ironed attire with ponytail hair and make-up that hides your dark circle. You were not willing to make any mistakes. It was not easy to start from the junior level again. Mr. Kim was generous and gave you a job within the company.  

Part of you wanted to leave and run back to your parents, but it was essential to work. It is not like you were broke, but you needed to save something for the future.  

Future. You have forgotten the meaning of that. For a moment, you were trying to save money, return home, and take a good rest to think further. And if you are going to work in the company, you can try to reach Suho and apologize. You left the apartment after taking a last look in the mirror.

As you enter the office building, you start remembering the old days. Blocking your mind to think about Suh... Junmyeon. Mark comes running toward, "So, you are back to work." You gloomily said, "Not exactly. I'm going to work downstairs in the Accounts department." Aera comes, and hugs you, "Wait for a few days, Junmyeon Sir will be here. We can talk to him." You were desperate to do it, yet you want to avoid it too. Not wanting to show others how vulnerable you have become, you smile, "You guys have seen what happened the last time. I'm glad his father allowed me to work in the company." They all said goodbyes after a few minutes of talking. You will miss them. Although you will be in the same company, you won't be able to meet them. You started to feel the difference between others and the CEO floor.

On the CEO floor, Junmyeon provided the freedom to be creative. There were no rules until your work gets completed on time or before time also, more holidays and more earnings, nothing like a junior or senior among you ten people, must work ass off but all was worth it. In your case, Junmyeon used to give special treatment. That time, if you weren't holding him back, he would make sure everyone refers to you as a 'boss.' To respect, you address others as Mr., Miss., or Mrs. No matter how senior a person is, you are not allowed to greet them as 'Sir.' or 'Madam.' He used to tell, you were equal to him. And all of his reasons were madness. 

Realizing you are self-torturing by remembering, you block your thoughts. You cannot break down in tears. Making yourself strong, you start walking toward your department. Jia asks you to wait and runs to reception. She comes back with two female and two male cops looking dreadful. One of the females asked, "Who is Ms. Y/n here?" You nod your head. Before you could think or ask anything, another female officer came behind and handcuffed you. A male officer said, "You are under arrest for stealing Mrs. Kim's jewelry and conspiracy fraud toward Kim Corporation." Stealing? Fraud? You tried to say it must be some mistake. You didn't talk with Mrs. Kim recently. While they were dragging you out, the look on everyone's face says they are blaming you for everything. 

You were locked inside the cell, alone, while some officers were searching your apartment. You couldn't think properly. However, it wasn't the first time Mrs. Kim accused someone of stealing her ornaments. Resting your mind, you ask the officer to let you talk with her. Again, they refuse your request. You had no choice besides waiting. 

Your subconscious gives a warning, and you ignore it, trusting once you talk with Mrs. Kim, she will let you go, or else Mr. Kim will. Even if not them, Suho will come. He does care for you. No matter what has happened, he won't let you be in a place like this. Repeating it, you sit in the corner of the cell. 

You jolt as a lady officer knocks a stick in your cell gate and asks you to come out as Mrs. Kim has arrived. You don't even know how much time has passed, although you breathe in relief while your subconscious is skeptical. 

Mrs. Kim sat like a queen while a few officers behaved like servants. You know wealth possesses influence. Kim's were sturdy. You have also heard that Mrs. Kim and Mr. Kim are abusing power. However, you never imagine getting a taste of abuse. Before you can utter anything, Mrs. Kim throws an evil smirk at you. You know this look. She is not going to listen to anything you say. That expression speaks for itself. She has purposely done it. She turns toward the senior officer and orders him loudly, "Did you find anything in her apartment?" One of the head sheriffs answers, "Ma'am, she has many expensive things, including some ornaments and your ring too." They handed over her ring, which you had collected from the jeweler on behalf of Mrs. Kim. You were supposed to give her. However, at first, she wasn't available, and then other things just happened, Suho went. Afterward came two necklace sets. Junmyeon purchased it in advance. He always keeps a spare; in case he forgets any occasion. You never had any intention with them, just that you had forgotten about them. Lastly came the pendant, your birthday gift. You have an explanation of everything, Mrs. Kim also knows, but she didn't want to hear any. It was clear to you. She just smiled and then handed over the officer one file. "Here is a document that shows she had the company's share in her name," This was something you weren't aware of. You still try to explain her things, plead to her. She only smiled at you and left. You kept shouting, but there was no one listening to you. Mrs. Kim had arranged things for you, all the humiliation and actions of cops. She had come to know about your relationship with Junmyeon. Plus, it is about slaps. A person like you had no right to offend Kim.

Your apologies didn't work with her. She wanted to show you your place like you are nothing. Your parents arrive, and that is when the nightmare begins. You know she had informed them. She wanted to increase her torment.   

Mrs. Kim became vigorous. Every moment, you were worried that your parents would find out about you being with Junmyeon even after his marriage. Mrs. Kim used your fear very well. Every day, Mrs. Kim comes to see you and tries to talk about Junmyeon in front of your parents but never says the main thing, keeping you at the edge and just plaguing you. The worst was to watch your parents begging her to let you go.

Last month, your confidence was crushed when Mrs. Kim called Junmyeon on your request and the way he answered. It clearly felt that he didn't care. After that call, she stopped coming, possibly because she got bored, but nothing has changed for you. You are counting the days in this abyss and losing all hope.  

It has been three months, and every day you wished Junmyeon would have a change of heart. Your mind knew it wouldn't happen while you hoped for it. He was the only person you know who could take you out of this prison. Your thought gets interrupted by an officer. You guessed she came to do something that was scheduled for you. Surprisingly, you lost the handcuff and asked to follow. You weren't scared like before. Part of you got used to all the insults and tortures. You just don't want your parents to watch whatever is happening. You follow the office and stop when you see Minsoek. It was surprising to see him, but you stayed hushed. Maybe Junmyeon sent him. Or....... 

For a while, everything was quiet. You peek at him as he examines you. Inspecting your dull face, few cuts and bruises, and dirty clothes. You had zero trust in anyone for now. You have the taste of money and power. Maybe he was there to plan a new misery for you.

"You are free to go. Your parents are waiting outside", He said. It was strange. Minsoek has nothing to do with you. Why did he come to free you? You looked at him confusingly.

He continues, "Don't try to contact Junmyeon anymore. He doesn't know we are letting you out. Don't try to complicate your life again. Forget everything and move on. Stay in the village." His voice was firm, yet he stammered a few times. You couldn't even reply or have the will to nod your head. You wanted to ask why. Why was he helping you? Part of you asked you to stay silent. You needed to get out of this place. You didn't want to anger any more people. He got up and left.   

You got your old clothes to change into, afterward a few signatures. You were free, as per the officers. You didn't believe it. Maybe you are free from here, and something could happen outside. The last few months have made you scared of everything. Particularly frightened for your parents.  

All this time, you hope Junmyeon comes or he sends someone to help you. Even after that call; even after Mrs. Kim's word; even after your prison time; even after your parents' misery; you only hope for Junmyeon. You might not believe Minsoek's words. You might not believe Mrs. Kim's words, but the situation was in front of you. And things were evident. 

You went out of the gates and saw your parents. Your mom was crying, and your father was thanking Minsoek and Yixing, which made you sore. You wanted to run far from them, far from the city. Thankfully, that happened. You and your parents took a cab home. 

You stayed silent while your parents tried talking, telling you about everything that happened in the last few months. You were tired without doing anything or tired from those six months. You are free yet not feeling restricted. There is a lot inside you. Questions, anger, sadness, loss, hurt. The pain was agonizing. All wounds appear as if they are never going to heal. You look out of the window. The city roads ended. So does your previous life, your hard work, your degree, your love, and everything you built for yourself, now onward mean nothing. These questions never get answers. Finally, it felt like everything changed. He is gone. You started crying. Letting go of everything, accepting your fate. Letting your pain take over completely. Letting your hope, love, and feeling, him buried deep inside your heart and moving forward. Forward to staying alive and happy and well but only for your parents. If you were alone, you would have rather died than stay alone without him however you are not. The cab was silent, only your crying noise was there. 

-Suho p.o.v-

I didn't want to, yet I'm here again. Mom called many times already. Y/N had messaged me. Numerous times, telling me to go and meet my parents. It has not been a day since Y/N went, and I must deal with my parents without her support. Taking a grip, I went inside. The good thing is my father was going to be there too. That means the conversation will be short. 

The door was opened by new staff. Mom again changed people. She can't trust people for long. Surprisingly, she trusted Y/N. 

I didn't have to wait. My mom was already in the drawing room. After a formal greeting, we sat to talk. "You have to go to Japan till the matter gets solved," Mom said. And I said no, and we argued until my dad didn't talk. He explained I must at least for the safety of Youra, Sehun, and Jongin. Others will handle their business themselves. It wasn't wrong. I agreed to everything. As things got calm, my mom called, "Y/N, bring my wine and set dinner table." I was shocked. Why is my princess going to set the table and bring wine? Before I could react, Y/N came. My mom noticed, "She is not your assistant. I got my own Y/N."  

"I can see. I thought...."  Before I could complete it, she added. "There are many Y/Ns in the world." I rolled my eyes, had dinner, and went home. 

I want Y/N to come back. I know I never gave her much time with her parents, but I will be in Japan when she is back. Plus, Dad said I cannot take her with me, as he needed her. He argued that she would be helpful to the company and him, especially when I'm not there. I was so proud of her. She was excellent with her work. As much as I don't like it, my dad was right. She will be a better help here. And I don't have to worry about her security. People are after me and my wife. This is the only time I'm okay with Youra being my wife. This way Y/n was safe.

A few days went by, and things were normal, or I tried to make it look normal. I didn't let Y/N know that I was leaving for Japan, or that things had become more intense. Last night, Youra almost got kidnapped. I didn't want to make her worry. 

I was managing everything about Japan. Plus, I had a small quarrel with Y/n. She wasn't ready to come back soon. I have stopped calling or messaging her for now. It was good though I didn't have to explain things. I didn't mean to hide anything from her. I didn't want her to worry about things here. 

In between this, Youra came and started staying in the penthouse with me. It wasn't that Y/n wouldn't understand why Youra was staying with me. She knows the need for protection. But it would hurt her, and I didn't want to see her hurt. 

When Y/n came back, I was so busy handling everything. Plus, Tao has increased security. They are irritating people. I know right now, I wasn't in a place to avoid them. So, I stayed quiet. 

I couldn't even have one proper look at her. I can't message her as my phone is connected to surveillance. 24/7 watch on my life. I don't have any issue if someone finds out about my relationship with Y/n, but she didn't want it. I have to respect it.  

As she started working with Dad, it became more challenging to reach her. I hated it, but I had no choice. I had to wait.  

The day came, I left for Japan; leaving a letter, hoping she understood. She will be upset and irritated. But I have already planned how to make it up. 

Japan was tiresome and annoying. Youra acts as a sweet, innocent, and dedicated wife. I can see she was faking, and she hates it. I was counting the days here. I needed a break from Youra already. Go back to Y/n.

After a few days, Tao came to visit and started asking questions about Y/n. I didn’t like the tone of his voice that using while asking about Y/n. Before I lost my temper about it, he showed me a video.

Y/n was having coffee with Choi Hee-sung. He was my business competitor. And the one who wouldn't miss any chance to flirt with her. I trust her, but my jealousy has no control. My jealousy is the reason for my anger. I needed an explanation of the meeting.

I got a chance. I was back for two days. Unlike Y/n, she made a mistake. I let out all my anger over the file. It was wrong of me. I knew it, but I couldn't control it. I was frustrated with everything. It was the first time since we had become close, the first time I was staying away from her like that.

I don't know when I start attacking like we are alone, in my bedroom. I had forgotten my professional behavior, saying a personal thing. I came to my senses when I felt her slap. It wasn't strong, but I know she was equally frustrated as me. I have oversaid things. I regret it. It was unexpected that Y/n gave an answer to insults or to any ill talks. What I was teaching finally came to life, but it was on me. As much as I was stunned, I was satisfied. However, we will have to sit and talk about this too. For that, I needed to come back and find time with her.

She was fired, not actually. The slap happened in front of staff, meaning my mom would also know about it. Before she used her method, it was safe for Y/n to stay away. I already talked with Dad. He said he would bring her back after a month or so. By the time Mom calms down, I will be back. My Dad wasn't ready to lose a good employee. According to him, I needed to get hit when I kissed her in front of everyone, but she reacted late. I went back to Japan, thinking everything would go back to the way it was. But I was wrong. After months of fighting, making everyone and everything safe, I'm here.

I'm here, in my cabin, with the letter in my hand and my given gift, the pendant. She left, resigning. With the resignation letter, she wrote a small letter. Stating she could not deal with this anymore, how she loves me, and how she hates Youra. Or I should say How and why Youra is right for her.

She returned my gift, and it implies a breakup. She indicated she ended things between us. I don't know what broke inside me. I needed my answers. Why after everything we have been through, she left? It didn't hurt my heart, but my ego did too. I don't know what was left. I did everything to show she was the only important person in my life.

I want to let her go if she wants, but the problem is I don't know how to live without her. All these months, I lived with the hope of being with her.

A single tear of frustration, pain, anger, and hurt; left my eyes while I kept reading the letter again and again, still not believing it.

---//---

Mr. Kim dashed home. He came to know that Y/n got arrested a few days ago. He knew who did it. He loved his wife. So much that he even let her affairs go on. Even after his son had to pay for it, he let it go.

He always saved her, no matter what. But it was too much. Suho will come back if he knows about Y/n. Suho wouldn't care about anything, not his or others' safety.

Mr. Kim knows about Suho and Y/n. He never interfered because Suho was happy. He is on the right track of his life. Y/n was positive for him. She made him calmer and more efficient. He was aware, even after his marriage fling continued. The good thing about Y/n is that it is crystal clear she wasn't after their money, nor did she have any dream of becoming Suho's wife. She was there for him and herself. Her feeling was pure. Maybe that was because she came from a village where feeling matters more than money. He wasn't much surprised by the slap incident. Suho was teaching her; she would have become bolder sooner or later.

He has seen the world. He knows who is good or who is pretending to be good. That was a reason he also let it go. If anyone else dared, he wouldn't have gone easy.

He stands in front of his wife and confronts her. Mrs. Kim sloppily answered; she was angry because Y/n slapped Suho. Later, she learned about her affair with Suho. How could she have let Y/n go?

Mr. Kim wasn't pleased. He knows his son. Suho will never look back to his mother if he finds out that Y/n is suffering because of her. He didn't want to lose his son over a girl. Plus, this might be a good opportunity to separate Y/n and Suho. Sooner or later, it was supposed to happen. They both had different lives and lifestyles.

Again, to save his wife and her relationship with Suho, he would do pathetic things. He will let Y/n suffer.

The first thing he did was to ask his wife not to go overboard with her punishment. He went to the office, closing every eyewitness's mouth with money or with the threat of losing their job. Y/n's topic went in the trash. For everyone, she resigned and left. 

He finds Y/n's old letter, which she wrote when Suho was getting married. She had written a resignation letter along with a handwritten letter for Suho.  

He coincidentally thought about everything found in Y/n's place. If his judgment was correct, the teardrop pendant could be a gift from Suho because out of everything, that wasn't very expensive. And he might have seen Y/n wearing it once or twice.  

Without wasting time, he keeps the letter and pendant in Suho's personal drawer on his table. And a resignation letter on his table.  

He didn't tell Suho about Y/n's resignation until he was back from Japan. He made sure everyone said the same thing in case Suho asked anyone.  

Thankfully, things went as he expected to go. 

---//---

Suho was in Japan. Things were going as planned by them. Everyone will be safe soon. Minsoek just talked with Suho. He couldn't stop thinking about Y/n whenever he thought about Suho or heard his name. She was clever in her work. Before leaving for the village, she made sure everything would follow as Suho needed. He thinks of her as a gold-digger, but he feels she isn't like that.  

Minsoek went to meet Mr. Kim. He sees two people beseeching to see Mr. Kim. He usually ignores this kind of thing, but he noticed the CEO floor employee looking at the couple helplessly and disturbed. The female came and started dragging him, "Mark. Think about our jobs. You and I both know there is no way to help Y/n." She said in a hushed voice.

"Her parents have been coming every day, since late three months," Mark started.  

"I know. We cannot do anything, not even comforting. I know you are feeling bad, we all are." They left Minseok in thought. He inquired a bit, and everyone said Y/n resigned. 

He didn't possess experience like Mr. Kim, but he found out.

If he can, Suho can too.

He took Yixing's help to find out more. Yixing went to see Y/n during the night, he had his connection. Even if he didn't like Y/n, he didn't like what she was going through. The worst was to see her parents.  

The case wasn't even going to court. In the name of proof, they only had a few jewelry items, and the company's share was merely one million. One million was nothing. Logically, if Y/n had to do a fraud; it should be above 50 million, at least. Who would risk everyone for one million?  

Minseok and Yixing didn't tell Suho anything, they confronted Mr. Kim.  After a long talk, Mr. Kim convinced them. Suho can't be angry with his mom for a girl. Mr. Kim wasn't aware; even after a warning, Mrs. Kim went overboard. Mr. Kim promises to handle his wife.

Minseok and Yixing helped Y/n. They didn't want her to be in prison. She was innocent and had already gone through a lot.  

They talked with her parents and helped them with everything. From place to stay, food, lawyers, etc; until Y/n was out, and went to the village.  

They see the cab going away. Yixing said, "We need to tell Suho. Mrs. Kim will try to hurt her."

"I know, she is not going to let anything go easily. But right now, we should keep things from Suho."

[lavenderdreams22]

A Court of Dawn & Dusk - Azriel x Reader (Part 9)

Summary: Rhys and Y/N receive an unexpected invitation. Azriel tries and fails to come to terms with a decision that Y/N makes.

A/N: I hope you guys like it. As always, comments and feedback are always welcome!

Warnings: cursing and a bit of angst, but I think that's pretty much it. Quickly edited.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

*****

She hadn’t looked up from her book yet. Azriel wasn’t even sure that she had seen or heard them come in, but that was perfectly okay with him. She poked her tongue out as she scribbled something down on a piece of loose parchment and he felt his heartbeat pick up just at the sight of such a simple thing. She had turned him into a lovesick fool, and he couldn’t have been happier about it if he tried. 

Amren sat across from her at the table, her own book flipped open and her own piece of parchment sitting out. Her hand was poised over it as if she were about to jot down a note, but her knuckles were white as she gripped the pen so tightly. Azriel was sure that if he listened hard enough, he would hear the way the metal and plastic groaned under the pressure. 

Why are we standing in the shadows? Rhys asked, his arms crossed over his chest and his eyes alight with amusement. 

Just wanted to look at her for a moment longer. Azriel replied, not bothering to hide his emotions from his best friend, his brother. 

Rhysand turned to him, searching his eyes for a moment before offering him a small smirk. 

You can stand here and watch her for as long as you want. Rhys’ voice was gentle.

Before either of them had a chance to step out from the shadows, Amren let out an annoyed sigh and looked into their dark corner with narrowed eyes. 

“We know you’re there.” She snapped. “Come out before I drag your asses out of the shadows myself.”

Azriel shuddered as Rhys let out a nervous chuckle. Amren, though tiny, was terrifying. They stepped out together, making their way slowly to the table the two females occupied. 

“About time.” She grumbled. “I was beginning to think that you would continue to creep around for the rest of the afternoon.”

Y/N snorted as she watched Azriel over her shoulder, her eyebrows raised in a silent question. She had pulled her bottom lip between her teeth to hold in her laughter. He pulled her into a kiss as soon as he was close enough to touch her, relishing in the way she always seemed to taste of strawberries. 

“You’re addicting.” He murmured against her lips. 

She giggled against him, and he filed the sound way in his mind as he had done with every other laugh or smile that he had earned from her. Because it wasn’t just her kisses that were an addiction. It was also the way that warmth spread through his chest every time she touched him, making him tingle from the very top of his head down to his toes, or even the way that she made him feel safe. Made him feel as if he had finally come home. 

That’s what she was to him. She was Azriel’s home. And he had never truly had one of those before, at least not in this sense. The House of Wind, or even the townhouse, had come close. But now he knew, without a doubt, that he had somewhere he belonged, even if every building in Prynthian burned to the ground. As long as she was with him, he was home. 

Everything about her was his and everything about him was hers and neither of them blinked at any of the terrible things the other had done. There was no judgment, only love and unbridled acceptance and so much warmth that he worried that it would burn. It was as if he had been dunked head first into a vat of sunlight after years of being frozen solid in the thickest, most impenetrable ice. Even his shadows seemed to calm their frantic whispering in her presence. 

Amren cleared her throat, and his surroundings rushed back into his peripheral. He hadn’t realized that he had still been kissing her. From the looks of her swollen lips, it had been more than what he had intended. He always seemed to lose track of time and space whenever she was around. 

Azriel shook himself from his thoughts and finally pulled away from his mate, the love of his life, the future mother of his children. The loss of her warmth made him want to light himself on fire to feel it again, so he pulled a chair close to her side and plopped into it, laying a hand on her thigh so that he did not have to go another moment without touching her.

Rhys rounded the table to sit next to Amren. 

“What have we found?” He asked, his violet eyes scanning both of the females faces. 

Y/N pushed her piece of parchment towards him. Rhys plucked it from the table to look it over, his face carefully neutral. 

“Nothing much. Nothing that we didn’t already know, anyway.” She shook her head and worried her lip between her teeth, the gesture so different from the way she had bit her lip only a few moments before. 

The worry in her eyes had Azriel on high alert. Sitting straighter in her chair, he squeezed her leg in an attempt to calm her. When she offered him a small smile and placed her hand over his, he relaxed, but only by a fraction. 

“Amren?” Rhys asked, turning in his chair to give her his full attention.

Azriel tried to listen, he really did… But the feeling of his mate’s hand on top of his made his head fuzzy, full of thoughts of her. 

It never mattered how much time he spent by her side, every smile and laugh and touch felt new. He looked at her, his eyes full of love. 

I wish I had found you sooner. 

She grinned at him, bringing his hand to her lips for a quick kiss as if to return the sentiment. 

Before he could tune back into the conversation, a disheveled Cassian appeared beside the table.

“Rhys, Y/N… You two got an invitation.” Cassian started, refusing to meet Azriel’s eyes. “Delivered to Hewn City by a Hybern soldier.”

Azriel straightened his spine again, all of the ease bleeding from his body. The lovesick look slipped from his face and was replaced with the cold mask of the Shadowsinger. 

“Us?” She turned wide eyes to the High Lord. “Why would we be the only two invited?”

Cassian shrugged before passing the envelope to Rhys.

“You’re not going.” Azriel growled, not bothering to wait and see what the invitation was for. 

Y/N opened her mouth to protest, but Rhys cut her off with a raised hand as he opened the letter with the other. 

“I agree with Azriel.” Rhys stated, keeping the unreadable mask in place as he scanned over the invitation. “If something goes wrong, which it most likely will based on their track record, I do not want you in the crossfire.”

Again. The word went unspoken, but Azriel knew that it was implied as Rhysand’s eyes flicked up and met his. 

“Will you at least tell me what the invitation is for?” Y/N asked. 

Rhys cleared his throat. “I hereby invite Y/N of the Dawn Court and Rhysand, High Lord of the Night Court to the first annual Masquerade. Hosted Under the Mountain.”

“Amarantha?” Cassian asked, though everyone already knew the answer.

“Yeah, she’s signed her name at the bottom.” Leaning back in his chair, Rhys eyed Y/N. “You’re not going.”

Azriel grumbled his agreement, his grip on her thigh tightening. 

“You can’t do this on your own.” Y/N said, her own voice hard and unmoving. “And you can’t really stop me. I was invited, too, after all.”

Azriel felt his mouth go dry. He knew that tone, the way her shoulders and jaw were set. It was the same way she had spoken to him the day he had been too injured and she had almost died.

“I’m coming with you, then.” Azriel ground out, his teeth clenched so hard he was surprised he hadn’t cracked a tooth. “If you’re so determined to put yourself in harm's way.”

“You weren’t invited.” She snapped, shooting him a glare. 

He laughed, the sound low and dangerous. He felt the shiver that ran up her spine as he dipped his head closer to her ear, his breath fanning over her. Normally the reaction would have caused a different feeling to erupt in his chest, but right now all he felt was anger and dread. 

“I don’t care.”

Her breath hitched in her throat.

‘’Let’s come up with a plan instead of arguing the matter like a bunch of children.” Amren stated with a roll of her eyes. 

*****

I flopped on the bed, bouncing Azriel a bit as I let out a sigh. He tossed his boots across the room, anger radiating off of him in dangerous waves.

“Can you just look at me for a moment?” I asked, placing a hand on his back.

His muscles tensed under my touch.

“I have a bad feeling about this.” Azriel grumbled, taking a deep breath. 

“I know you do, but I’ll be fine.” My words didn’t sound as reassuring as I hoped they would.

“And how do you know that?” He asked, meeting my eyes over his shoulder. “How do you know they won’t try to gut you again?”

“Because Rhysand will be there. He would kill them all before they could raise their swords.” my hand trailed up his back to his shoulder. 

He turned away from me, staring at some unknown thing in the distance that only he could see. His shadows grew, blocking out bits of my view of him, their whispers getting louder as if the thought of me being out of their sight was painful for them, as well. 

“I can’t protect you if I'm not there.” He said, his voice breaking on the last word. 

I tucked my feet underneath me so that I sat on my knees and pressed myself against him. His wings relaxed under the weight of my body.

I didn’t have the words to tell him that everything would be okay. Deep down, I knew he was right. Something was… off about this invitation. Amarantha had proved to us all that she had less than pure intentions since she had stepped foot in Prynthian. 

The longer the silence stretched on, the more I could practically hear the wheels turning in his mind. 

“Talk to me, Azriel.” I whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of his wing. 

“I can’t let you just waltz back there.” He turned again, looking at me over his shoulder. 

“Short of locking me in the house, I’m afraid you can’t stop me from going.” I kissed his wing again. “I don’t want Rhys to go by himself. Someone needs to look out for him.”

“He can handle himself.” He growled. “You’re not going.” 

Even though he sounded angry, I could hear the desperation and breathless agony that laced each word. 

“The last time you were anywhere close to a Hybern soldier, you almost died.” He turned fully, taking my face in his hands. “I can’t lose you.”

“I was chosen by the mother, the cauldron, or whatever other powers in the universe to be your mate because I am your equal in one way or another. I can handle myself.”

He just stared at me, his eyes growing sadder as he looked me over. It was almost as if he were committing this moment to memory. 

“We will go, get the information that we need, figure out what the hell she wants, and then we will leave. And I will come back to you in one piece. I swear it.” I placed a hand over his heart, resting my head on his shoulder as he pulled me into a bone crushing hug. 

I wasn’t sure how long we had sat there, tangled in each other's arms.

“It will be fine.” I kissed his shoulder and then his neck, pushing the rising sense of dread that had started to wrap itself around my own heart to the recesses of my mind. 

I, too, had a terrible feeling about this.

*****

Three days later, Azriel and I stood in a small dress shop on the Rainbow, sorting through racks and racks of different colors and materials. 

He had barely smiled since I had told him that I was going to go and he didn’t have a choice.

“What about this one?” I asked, pulling a black silk slip dress from the rack and holding it up to myself. 

He looked it over, his eyes darkening as he pulled his lip between his teeth. 

I chuckled and cocked my head to the side. “Words, please.”

He gulped, the fire in his eyes remaining. “You’d look beautiful in this… Dangerously beautiful.”

He shook his head to try and snap himself out of his lust, but I didn’t miss the change in his scent. Just as I was sure he didn’t miss the change in mine.

“I wonder if there’s a mask that would go with this…” I mumbled to myself as I ran a finger over the material.

As if I had summoned her, the shopkeeper appeared at my side, scaring the living hell out of me. Where had she come from? I whipped my head around, looking for any hiding place in the vicinity.

When my gaze landed on Azriel, he was holding back a laugh with a hand over his mouth. I resisted the urge to reach over and smack him. He had probably known she was close by.

“Mask, you say?” She hobbled back to the counter, seeming not to notice that she had almost given me a heart attack, and beckoned me with one wrinkled hand.  “We have several back here.”

Ariel followed behind me silently, a hand on my lower back. He tried to always keep some sort of contact with me. It always brought me comfort, but for the last few days, I was sure the contact was more for him than it was for me.

I took a quick glance over my shoulder, and I could still see the humor dancing in his eyes. I shot him a smile, and his face changed to one of soft adoration.

When we approached the counter, she lifted two black masks, holding them up to her face in turn so I could get a good look at them. I snuck another look at Azriel over my shoulder.

His shoulders were tight as he stared at her. I had no doubt that he had just remembered what we were shopping for in the first place. When he met my gaze again, the look from before had vanished and he forced a another small smile that looked more like a grimace.

I gestured to the woman, asking him without asking to choose one of the options she had in her hands. 

“The one on the left.” He said, his voice tight. 

I turned back to look at his choice. It was a simple black silk with an overlay of lace. The swirls reminded me of his ever present shadows. 

“I’ll take that one.” I nodded, lifting the dress to the counter. “And this, please.”

I moved to take out my coin purse, but Azriel stopped me with a hand and a shake of his head.

“Add it to my tab, Irene.” 

“You have a tab in a dress store?” I asked with my hands on my hips, my tone laced with unnecessary irritation.

The lady behind the counter shook her head, tsking at Azriel as she took the dress from me and put it gently into a garment bag. 

Azriel only chuckled, leaning down and pressing a kiss to my temple. 

We were halfway home before he started laughing again, drawing the attention of people that were milling about nearby. The sound was magic to my ears.

Gods, how I had missed his laugh the last couple of days. 

“I’ve bought you three or four dresses from that same shop, you know.” 

“You have?” I stopped, staring at him with wide eyes.

“Yes.” He eyed me for a moment before clearing his throat. “Do you remember that cobalt blue dress that Mor had you wear to the ball?”

“Of course, it was beautiful.” I said, before adding under my breath, “if not a little revealing.” 

“Well,” a grin broke out over his beautiful face. “I bought that one. Wanted to say sorry for being such a prick… Also, a pretty big part of me wanted us to match. Thought it might repel any potential competition while I tried to get my shit together.”

I leaned into him, grabbing his free arm and nearly swooning at the hard muscle underneath.

“You’re such a softy.” I grinned.

He shook his head, still grinning. “Only for you.”

*****

Tomorrow… Tomorrow was the day that she went into the one place he never wanted her to set foot in again. Tomorrow was the day that he would figure out if this awful feeling in the pit of his stomach was either proven right or that he had been worrying for no reason. 

He trusted his intuition. He had to, especially since he had become the High Lord’s Spymaster. He was rarely ever wrong about these things. 

The inner circle sat around the table for dinner as they always did, and Azriel tried his best to shake the feeling of dread that had been following him around like dense fog… One that only seemed to get thicker with every passing moment. His shadows were louder than usual, and he was almost surprised that no one else could hear their constant worrying. 

Well, no one other than his mate. Who could somehow hear them on a typical day. She hadn’t asked, but there had been moments that she flinched when they got particularly loud as they reached out for her. 

Cassian waved a hand in front of his face in an attempt to snap him back to reality. He hadn’t noticed that he had been spacing out, but when he shook his head and glanced around, he saw that every pair of eyes was turned towards him, full of worry.

“You alright?” Rhys asked, his spoon full of soup paused halfway to his mouth. 

“Fine, just tired.” Azriel picked up his own spoon, staring down at a plate of lettuce and various other vegetables.

When had the plates been cleared? A quick glance around showed that everyone but him had soup in front of them.

“He hasn’t been sleeping well.” Y/N said from beside him as she handed him a fork.

“I’m fine.” Azriel said again with a little more conviction. 

“Maybe we should turn in early tonight?” She asked, leaning forward to catch his eye.

Azriel felt bad for not confiding in her, for not telling her that the idea of her leaving made him feel like his heart was being ripped from his chest, even if it was for just a single night. 

How would he even broach the subject without sounding like he was trying to control her and the situation? Or without making her feel like he didn’t believe in her?

“Good idea.” He pushed back from his spot at the table too quickly, the scrape of the chair making her flinch.

He wanted to slap himself for putting the look of worry on her beautiful face.

He was moving before she had the opportunity to stand, but she followed, bidding everyone goodnight. 

When they reached their room, he spun on her and pulled her to his chest in a tight embrace.

“I don’t know what’s going on with you,” she breathed. “But please talk to me. You’ve been distant since we got that stupid invitation.”

His heart ached for her. She had gone days thinking he was mad or upset with her. So, instead of talking, he pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. 

“I’m just scared.” He whispered. 

“Scared of what?” She pulled away to meet his eyes.

“I can’t shake the feeling that I’m going to lose you.”

“I’m not going anywhere, my love.” She pressed a kiss to his chest. He felt the heat from her touch through his leathers. “We’ll go and be back before you even have a chance to miss me.”

“Impossible.” He pulled her closer to him. “I miss you always.” 

“Azriel….” She tried to pull out of his grasp, but as his eyes filled with tears, he held her tighter to keep her from seeing them.

He knew she had to be sick of hearing about how scared and worried he was. Hell, he was tired of feeling that way… But until he had her safely back in his arms, he wouldn’t know peace.

“Y/N, listen to me.” His voice cracked and she stilled against him at the sound of it. “The first sign of danger, you winnow as far away as you can and then you make your way back to me.” 

“I will.” She squeezed him tighter. “I swear it.” 

*****

The next night came far too quickly, and he wished that he had spent more time with her and less time brooding. His hands slipped over the silk that covered her beautiful body as he kissed her lips.

“I’ll see you in a few hours.” She said between kisses. “I love you.” 

“I love you, Y/N.” He said, his heart warring with his head. “I’ll see you later.” 

And with that promise hanging between them, she stepped back to Rhysand’s side and took his hand. Azriel’s arms were still outstretched when they disappeared into the night. 

*****

Cassian shook him awake. He wasn’t sure what time it was, or when he had fallen asleep, but the look on his face had Azriel sitting straight up in his bed.

“What happened?” He asked.

Cassian just shook his head, his brows pulling together. Azriel felt his heart pull, the bond growing tight and then dimming.

“Cassian… what-”

Before he could finish the sentence, Mor threw the door open. She was in her pajamas, her long blonde hair tied into a knot on the top of her head. Her eyes were wild as she met Azriel’s stare.

“She trapped them.” Her voice was thick with tears, and he felt his own well in his eyes.

“What?”

“She trapped them. Rhys sent word, we’re to protect the people and Velaris until they can find a way out.” Cassian said, his voice surprisingly clear.

“I… I have to get her out.” Azriel started to move, but Cassian clapped a hand on his shoulder to keep him in place.

“Magic has been dwindled down to nothing.” Cassian shook his head. “We need to reserve our power.”

Azriel was shaking with unreleased sobs. He knew this had been a bad idea. He knew he never should have let her go. But he had listened to her, not to reason, when she had told him she would be fine. And now she was trapped… in enemy territory. And there was nothing he could do about it.

He hung his head, letting a sob break free. Cassian sat on the bed next to him, his own tears sliding down his face as he slung an arm around his shoulders.

She wouldn’t want them to fall apart. Rhys had given them orders. Rhys had given them something to do. And he desperately needed something to do, or he would fly there, magic be damned, and tear the entire mountain to the ground.

But she wouldn’t have wanted him to fall apart and because of that, he wouldn’t allow himself to. So he steeled his nerves, pushed back the sadness that was pounding in his head, and cleared his throat.

“Someone get Amren.” Azriel muttered. “We need to have a meeting.”

*****

Taglist: @brekkershadowsinger @mis-lil-red @judig92

[sweethoneyrose83]

Five Nights at Freddy's Hospital AU Writing prompts:

1. Animatronic Doctors and Nurses

After a freak accident, you're admitted to a hospital where all the staff are animatronics. Each one has a specific specialty: Freddy as a surgeon, Chica as a nurse, Bonnie as a therapist, and Foxy in charge of emergency care. You soon realize they have an unsettling way of "treating" patients. Can you escape before your "treatment" begins?

2. The Midnight Shift

You’re the new night shift nurse at Freddy Fazbear's Hospital for Animatronic Injuries. The hospital runs like a normal one during the day, but at night, the animatronics become strange, following you through the halls. Can you survive the shift and uncover the secret about the patients?

3. Possessed Medical Equipment

Strange things happen at Fazbear Hospital, especially with the medical equipment. The X-ray machine shows images of animatronics, the heart monitor beeps in eerie rhythms, and the surgical tools sometimes move on their own. The hospital seems alive, and it wants something from you.

4. A Mysterious Patient

A new patient is brought into the hospital’s restricted ward, heavily bandaged and unconscious. Rumor has it that they’re an animatronic, but their file says they were human. As part of the night staff, you’re tasked with watching over them. One night, you hear them whisper your name.

5. Animatronic Rehabilitation

After years of malfunctioning and being hostile, the animatronics from Fazbear’s Pizzeria are sent to Fazbear Psychiatric Hospital for rehabilitation. You’re the only human nurse assigned to their care. They claim they aren’t crazy—just misunderstood. But every time you let your guard down, something terrifying happens.

6. Infected by the Virus

A virus spreads through the hospital, infecting both human staff and animatronics alike. The symptoms are different for each, with humans becoming aggressive and animatronics behaving in strange, almost human ways. You’re immune to the virus, but that makes you a target—by both groups.

7. Haunted Pediatric Wing

The pediatric wing of Fazbear Hospital is said to be haunted by the spirits of missing children, and the animatronic toys in the playroom are acting strange. As the new pediatrician, you start hearing laughter in the middle of the night, and some of the toys seem to move when you aren’t looking.

8. The Therapy Program

Glamrock Bonnie has been reprogrammed as a therapy bot for patients with PTSD and anxiety. However, during your sessions, you begin to feel like you’re the one being manipulated. Bonnie’s behavior becomes more unsettling, asking personal questions about your past, and you begin to wonder if this "therapy" is more dangerous than healing.

9. Underground Lab

Beneath the hospital is a secret lab where failed animatronic experiments are kept. One day, you accidentally stumble upon it during your rounds. The animatronics aren’t dead—they’re waiting. And now that you’ve seen them, they aren’t letting you leave.

10. The Visiting Hours

Patients complain about strange visitors that come during the night—dark figures resembling animatronics but with glowing red eyes. The hospital denies any late-night visits, but you’ve seen the shadows. What do these "visitors" want from the patients, and why do they seem to linger near you?

11. Animatronics in the ICU

After a devastating incident at Freddy Fazbear’s Mega Pizzaplex, several employees are rushed to the ICU of a nearby hospital. However, as they recover, strange things begin happening at night—flickering lights, odd noises, and glimpses of animatronics wandering the halls. Are they hallucinations, or is something sinister lurking?

12. The Pediatric Ward

The children in the hospital's pediatric ward love the animatronics visiting to cheer them up during the day, but one night, one of the animatronics doesn't leave. The nurses dismiss the children's claims that Freddy is watching over them as nighttime paranoia. However, the night shift nurse soon discovers that not all animatronics are friendly.

13. Vanny's Surgical Game

Vanny poses as a new surgeon in the hospital and begins experimenting with new "procedures." Staff begin to disappear one by one, and the hospital staff must uncover the truth behind their new colleague before they become her next patient.

14. Possessed Life Support Systems

A patient in critical condition is hooked up to a state-of-the-art life support system. However, the machine begins to malfunction—blaring unsettling noises and playing Freddy’s jingle. When a nurse investigates, she finds evidence that the equipment has been hacked by none other than the twisted spirit of a former employee, now inhabiting the hospital’s systems.

15. Glamrock Bonnie’s Hidden Wing

While working a late shift, a security guard stumbles upon an old, forgotten wing of the hospital that isn’t on the blueprints. Inside, they find animatronic parts scattered among outdated medical equipment. As they try to leave, they realize they're not alone—Glamrock Bonnie, who had disappeared from the Pizzaplex, is hiding there for reasons unknown.

16. The Night Shift Experiment

The hospital staff on the night shift are aware of strange new patients being admitted—patients whose charts are suspiciously blank. Each one has vague connections to the Fazbear Entertainment franchise. As the night progresses, the staff start encountering disturbing apparitions of animatronics and feel an unsettling presence as if they are being watched…or hunted.

17. Springtrap in the Morgue

After a series of brutal accidents at Fazbear locations, several bodies are brought to the hospital’s morgue. Unbeknownst to the staff, one of the bodies is housing the vengeful spirit of Springtrap. Strange occurrences start happening in the morgue—body bags are ripped open, and a decaying animatronic figure begins moving.

18. Vanessa’s Recovery

After a near-fatal accident, Vanessa is taken to the hospital for recovery. As she drifts in and out of consciousness, she sees a white bunny mask hovering over her bed and hears whispers urging her to act. Is Vanny trying to break free, or is something even darker at play?

19. Possessed Equipment

The medical equipment in the hospital begins to behave strangely, with heart rate monitors playing the music from Freddy Fazbear's band and X-ray machines showing shadowy animatronic figures inside patients. A few staff members notice, but when they try to speak out, they are met with dismissals or disappearances.

20. Freddy's Therapy Session

A hospital psychologist is assigned to work with a patient who claims to be haunted by memories of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria. As the psychologist delves into the patient's history, they realize that these memories aren't just psychological scars—they're signs of something much more real and dangerous.

[mytardisisparked]

Tagged to do this Fic Writer Q+A by @more-better-words! Thanks!

1. Why do you write fanfic?

Because if I don't do something creative on a semi-frequent basis I will shrivel up like a little raisin.

2. Which of your posted stories do you think about the most, even though the story is “finished”?

I think about "And Still, The Sea Is Salt" a lot. It's a Pikeuna fic which, while I still ship them, I don't really think about them frequently these days. But this fic is still, IMO, some of my best work and so I think of it often.

The other fic I think about a lot is "The Ghost of You," which is an MSR fic. It's another one that feels like some of my best work. I feel like this, and "Salt" are fics that I am constantly trying to replicate in terms of quality.

3. If you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

Take your time. Chew on it. Let it simmer.

4. What’s your relationship to fic stats?

I love looking at comments but, otherwise, I don't pay attention to stats. I always appreciate comments and kudos and bookmarks but I'm not aiming for a certain number or anything. I appreciate them on an individual basis, I guess.

5. Is there a pairing or scenario or friendship you miss writing? If so, why? If not, why not?

Hmmmmm sometimes I miss writing JC or Obitine, but I am totally at the mercy of my hyperfixations so I am usually content writing whatever pairing or friendship I am currently obsessed with.

6. What motivates you to write?

The gremlins in my head. Also whenever one of my writing or art buddies goes "hey that's a good idea" when I pitch a fic to them.

7. Why do you write for the fandom(s) that you write for?

I'm currently writing for the X-Files because it makes me feel insane. I also still love writing for the Voyager Threshold!AU because it's SUCH a tasty story and it's full of great people to work on said story with.

8. If you’re stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

I usually let it simmer for a bit and then come back to it. If that doesn't work I typically go paw at @singeart's door and bounce ideas around with her.

9. What do you wish people knew about comments?

I cherish every single comment - no matter how long or short - like someone just left me a vast fortune in their will. Also PLEASE don't stop yourself from leaving comments on older fics. Getting a comment on a fic I wrote 4 years ago is like getting willed a vast fortune and then finding out it grew a ton of interest at the bank. Fic writers love comments on old fics.

10. Maybe there’s a question you wish had been on here. What’s that question (and answer)?

Will you wear wigs? Maybe.

No-Pressure tagging: @singeart, @thursdayinspace, @jellybeansarecool, and anyone else who wants to because I am having a heck of a time figuring out who has and has not been tagged to do this lol

[we-keep-odd-hours]

tagged back by @hex6rcist! Thank you!

under a cut since I also rambled.

1. How are you!? I hope your day is going well.

ehhhh. I'm working not a great job, but its from home and if everyone is going to be insufferable, every single second i get of downtime I'm going to be on tumblr to stay sane.

2. What are you currently working on? Any little projects of any kind you’re excited to share?

I have an original novel in the works, I'm in the brutal final stages of tying off the loose ends of the rough draft (while this advice is some that I struggle to accept, to all writers I'd like to share this: the only thing that a first draft has to be is done.), I have two on-going fics (an Aliens one that's posted anonymously but tbh you could probably find it easily) and one of Diamondback's origin story.

Her origin story is more or less done (posting new chapters as I edit) except for a few plot points I'll make my decision on as I get to them in editing. There's details from my next project, a full follow up to the movie, that I kind of want to include in an epilogue to her story, since they're scenes/plot threads tied on her character arc.

3. What have you been watching lately? I just finished Righteous Gemstones and I need a new show lol.

I'm halfway through my rewatch of Hannibal right now, and I SHOULD rewatch West World next so I can finally watch the last season, but I've been itching to rewatch X-Files for a year now....the only problem being that X-Files is nine seasons, a mini series, two seasons of Millennium (IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND), and one season of Lone Gunmen (ALSO IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND). I never technically finished Millennium either, because they [spoiler] and it made me so angry at Chris Carter that I rage quit.

4. (A Near Dark one because how can I not) what’s your favorite small detail in the movie that other people might overlook?

When they first walk into the bar, Jesse kind of surveys the layout, but Diamondback immediately looks over to her right--at the bartender and the waitress, she then smiles, holds onto Jesse's arm and sets her head on his shoulder--and looks over the waitress again. Between that and her grin when the woman walked over, that whole weird thing seemed like some continuation of whatever game they were playing when she kissed the hitchhiker, which....guys, get a room. Homer and Mae are right there.

There are others, but this is the first one that came to mind.

5. What blog should I follow right now?

I'm bad at this; most people I've followed on here for literal years, or else picked up along the way when we had the same media obsession of the day.

6. Best piece of advice you’ve ever received?

I said it above already, but THE FIRST DRAFT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE GOOD, IT JUST HAS TO BE DONE.

7. If you could add one fantastical element to the real world and have it be a commonly accepted and known about thing what would it be? (Ie make Santa real)

This is asking for trouble: I believed in fairies at an age that was much, much too old to do so. I think it would be fun, or at least interesting if the fair folk were commonly known to exist. Dangerous, unwise, but fun.

8. What’s the last book you didn’t just read, you DEVOURED?

In the Valley of Sun by Andy Davidson. It was nasty, infuriating, full of characters I didn't like for but occasionally felt bad for, and it's about a wandering killer turned vampire living in an old RV just outside of Waco, TX in the 1980s. Yeah, that's what I thought too.

It was a break-neck paced mystery, not exactly of ''who'' did it, but of what happened, how did they do it, and are they going to get caught?

9. What are you most passionate about?

Art, literature, zoology. The order of those items changes frequently.

10. What do you think is your best quality?

oh I hate this question. Passion, I guess? It's not easy to get interested in something, but when I am, I can learn fast, pick up on details, and make weird connections. I'm literal minded and frequently get over-detailed on things, but I can think on multiple tracks at once and have caught things that even our Risk department at work didn't notice because they disrupted something.

[agent-troi]

20 Questions for 20 Writers

thanks for the triple tag @thatfragilecapricorn30 @randomfoggytiger @virtie333

i started working on the original questions before I was tagged by @randomfoggytiger so i'm just gonna keep going on those😅

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 108

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 402,230

3. What fandoms do you write for? mostly the x-files and star trek but i've dabbled in fringe and the west wing

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Platonic Procreation, Security Questions, Eden, Mother Knows Best, The MSR Files

5. Do you respond to comments? i always reply if they commented on something specific, and i try to reply most of the time but sometimes if i get a lot of comments at once i get overwhelmed and don't reply to them all😅

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i don't usually do angsty endings but i think that would have to be my rain king ivf fic, Driftwood Lullaby

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? you're pretty much guaranteed to get a happy ending with most of my fics lol but some contenders i wanna highlight are Aqua Vitae, Defining Parameters, Sweet Kisses, Where A Million Stars Catch Fire, Though the Heavens Fall, The Wrong Scully, Coda, and Blood and Water

8. Do you get hate on fics? i got one hate comment on my most popular fic (lmao) and a couple of nitpicky comments on other fics that didn't quite rise to the level of hate

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? no never lol

10. Do you write crossovers? i've had ideas with varying levels of ambition but never actually written one lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? several! they're all in this collection with @katy-kt-katie, @tofuttim, @incidental-ao3, @baronessblixen, and IStanYouStan5676🫶🏻🫶🏻

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? MSR!!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have two: an AU that i was steadily chipping away at until my building burned down in february and i've opened the google doc maybe twice since then lol, and a multi chapter that's been sitting for literal years with every chapter either complete, partially complete, or outlined, but i just can't make myself work on it lmao

16. What are your writing strengths? dialogue i think, i spend a lot of time thinking about fictional characters so their voices are always in my head lol

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i'm so jealous of people who can write multiple multi chapter epics and i'd love to write more elaborate and complicated multi chapter fics but i just don't have the time or energy to invest in fully fleshing them out😔

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i love it when it adds to the realism of the setting

19. First fandom you wrote for? lord of the rings

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? hmm idk if i can pick just one favorite so i'm gonna drop a few that i haven't already linked: A Most Owlish Conundrum, Beyond Antares, Light in Dark Places, The Scully Dimension, Scientific Proof, Faith, Hope, and Love, When Toads Fly, Cucumber Time

tagging the friends i already tagged in question 13 and anyone else who hasn't already been tagged bc i'm sure i'm late to the party lol

[1lostsoul0fishbowl]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers

Tagged by the absolutely lovely @staceymcgillicuddy and my wondrous darling @pearlypairings - thank you both! 🥰

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

15, 13 of which are complete and the last two very nearly finished. 😭

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

365,528 and counting. I’m a rambler!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Only Stranger Things… nothing else has grabbed my attention quite the way s4 did.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

With a Little Help From My Friends (my ultra-long found family fic)

Why Should I Cry For You (that one surprised me, it came from way behind!)

Not-so-iron Maiden (Eddie & Max sibling supremacy)

Tattoos and Trash Talk (Eddie and El bonding)

the shield and the shepherd (my very first fic! Eddie and Chrissy falling in love without Vecna in the way)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do! I’m absolutely tickled every time somebody likes something I wrote enough that they take the time to leave me a comment about it. I’ve even made a few friends that way!

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Into the Shining Sun? Even then, it’s angst with a very hopeful note to it. There’s enough angst in my real life; I like everything in my fics to turn out okay.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

So far, With a Little Help, because it ended with Eddie and Chrissy’s wedding!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, I haven’t. I honestly think it will break my heart if it ever happens. I stumbled completely by accident across a post here on tumblr hating on GreatMage and I literally cried about that for two days. (Shameful!)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope, I live firmly in the fluff zone. All of my fics are rated a very mild T.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Haven’t tried one yet, but maybe someday, if I can think of a good idea!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. How would I even know that? 🤔

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet, but @pearlypairings and I have kicked around a few fun ideas and someday we are going to make Clarkelley happen!

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

This is a nearly impossible question.

15. What’s a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I’ve only got two WIPs and they’re both almost done, so— none!

16. What are your writing strengths?

Omg, I don’t even know, honestly. Umm… I guess building friendships and relationships between characters?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Anything outside of my comfort zone. I have a tiny little box I tend to stay in, and refuse to even try branching out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

With the help of Google Translate, I’ve scattered some bits of Welsh dialogue here and there throughout Next Time I Fall. Apparently I got most of it wrong. So I don’t think I’ll try any other languages unless I’m actually familiar with them!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Probably X-Files? And then there was that random embarrassing NSYNC stuff… we won’t talk about that. Those were all just scribbled in old journals, though. I never actually posted anything publicly until I found Ao3 last year.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I think each one is my favorite while I’m working on it! But I think I have to say Next Time I Fall, because the response to it was so much more than I expected, and people’s engagement with and investment in the story has given me so much joy.

Randomly tagging @tnmdfhgkg @saltyseagoat83 @sokkas-first-fangirl

and for anyone else who sees this and feels like sharing, 🫵 *boop* I tag you!

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @rngaredead :)

For simplicity's sake I'm going to go with just my biDEMONium/trentcrimminallybeautiful ao3 and not try to combine it with my thesorrowoflizards one (why do i have more than one? because i was, among other things, an idiot who didn't know how pseuds worked next question) even though that would probably double some of these numbers lkfjgh

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Again, just on this account? 171 (some of those are oneshot compilations though)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

661,851 for now

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Ted Lasso, The Mysterious Benedict Society, The House on the Cerulean Sea, House MD, Death by Dying, Instinct, King Falls AM. Also, sort of Gravity Falls. Mostly those first two though, tbh. This one I think I will include other fandoms I've written and posted for on other accounts because it's fun and less about math. So also Shadowhunters, The Librarians, The Mentalist, The Dresden Files (TV), Roswell New Mexico, The Sandman, Star Trek, Professor Layton, Sanders Sides, Miraculous Ladybug, and sort of The Legend of Zelda. Also see, for unposted or posted a very long time ago and no longer something I would willingly share, Supernatural, Dirk Gently (both 2016 and 2010), Doctor Who, Warehouse 13, SurrealEstate, Person of Interest, Haven, Leverage, Bones. Psych, and probably more

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ted Lasso Kisses Trent Crimm On The Mouth (Trent/Ted - 1,157 kudos)

semaphore (Trent/Ted; Trent & Colin - 997 kudos)

off the handle (Trent/Ted - 736 kudos)

linger (Trent/Ted - 709 kudos)

a preacher, a bikini, and a kiss or two (Trent/Ted; Diamond Dogs - 673 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to but I always get really busy/tired and then it's been so long it feels like it would be weird if I did. Plus, sometimes my answers by nature of the comments can get repetitive and then even though I'm being sincere I feel insincere which sucks. However, if a comment has a direct question or something I actually have like, something unique to say about, I'm much more likely to respond sooner rather than later/never. I appreciate every single comment soooo much though literally my motivation to get through the day like 80 percent of the time

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm going to stick with Ted Lasso fics here since I have so many fics posted and this is my Ted Lasso sideblog and say... well, most of the time I have a bittersweet ending and then some sort of hopeful epilogue (such as with ink sunset and make a mess of you) but I guess betrayal's sting / absolution's balm or something to get off my chest may qualify?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uhhh, honestly, most of them are happy endings. I think trick & treat and matters of the heart end on particularly high notes?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not in this fandom! Yet

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Oh, yeah, baby. So much. Not sure what "kind" means in this context. It sure is explicit smut. I have tended almost exclusively towards hot transgender sex the last few years because. yknow. hi. but somehow I don't think that's the intention in the question.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I do, but I haven't posted a lot. Only one on this account (a Gravity Falls x The Mysterious Benedict Society crossover that started as a joke because of a shared actress) although I had an interesting Shadowhunters x The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess fusion on my other account. I've written some pretty weird WIPs, though. And I've got some posts about Ted Lasso crossover/AUs, like a Sarah Jane Adventures AU, a Pushing Daisies AU, a Stardust AU... You can find that kind of thing in this tag on my blog.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Yes. Not in this fandom, though, as far as I'm aware.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Again, not in this fandom, though.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not really.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Oh, man, I don't know if I can decide. Magnus/Alec (TV version only I'll die on this hill) will always hold a special place in my heart, but I've got other "obsessed with this when I was a kid" ships and also recency bias/current hyperfixation means Trent/Ted screams as an immediate answer, and so on and so forth. I'm bad at picking favorites. Overall, I'd probably say one of those two, or both.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Sticking to Ted Lasso again (I have. so many MBS WIPs. god.) I'd say lost sight of (who you are) (lost motivation, want to finish, fuck!!) or sweeter than heaven (hotter than hell) (got mad at it), or!! oh!!! ink sunset (stuck) and possibly the next installment of matters of the heart. Yeah, I have a problem

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at being funny and also at eloquent but perhaps a little too verbose metaphors. I love me an elaborate metaphor

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It's hard for me to focus and get what I have in my head out sometimes, even when I really want to. Whether it's being unable to organize or just my brain flat-out refusing to cooperate and do anything. Also, I'm way too like. easily discouraged with lack of feedback, and even a little negative feedback can kind of ruin my week and make me never wanna go back to that story ever again.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I just realized. The questions seemed familiar but I wasn't sure why and now I know, now that I've gotten to this question. I have done this game before and I remember bc of this question. I was confused bc it was under a different name, I think the questions were in a different order, and it was sometimes slightly differently worded but nope! This is the same one! Weird Anyway, just for this particular question, I'm going to copy-paste my old answer because I'm lazy. I’m extremely bad at linguistics in general, so if I must include someone talking in another language in my fic, I think I’d tend to cheat and do italics or some other indication that this is ‘in another language’ (ie “Where are you going?” she asked in Russian), but that’s admittedly a lazy approach. But I also think it’s probably better than butchering it with an auto-translator? Also, when people just include the translation in the end notes, even with a link (although that makes it marginally better) it breaks the flow of the story and makes it hard to read. Making an effort to at least match grammar is good (which I would do if it was for longer than a single scene, probably) but I think the best solution is when people know what they’re doing and like, have an actual translation with a little html code so you can click on it and it reveals what it means? Or if you’re clever, revealing what it means using context around it, but that has its own limitations. So that both like, uses the actual language and doesn’t break up the flow. It balances accessibility, flow, and respect for the other language in question well. But you’ve got to both know what you’re doing with the language (either asking someone/hiring someone/knowing the language yourself) and the html (although there are guides for that you’d have to spend time figuring it out + know it exists in the first place to look). And this is fanfiction, something we ultimately do for free in our spare time, so the lazy approach, I think, can be understandable. Maybe not in every context, but it’s not worth stressing a lot over in a few random lines or anything, you know? It is really cool when people do know a language well enough to include it properly in a fic, though, it can say a lot about a character or dynamic; and their background(s) and like. it’s neat :)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Ever? Doctor Who. And I don't remember the order, but after that I know I wrote some stuff about Star Trek (mostly TNG but I believe also TOS), Supernatural, A:LTA, Marvel, WTNV, and the Stanley Parable? I think I first posted either Supernatural or WTNV

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

I have no idea. Some of my top ones (for Ted Lasso again) would be matters of the heart and trick & treat I suppose?

Tagging: whoever wants to do this man, I probably tagged everyone I'd normally tag last time so if you see this and you wanna do it, go ahead and tag me and do it!

[atths--twice]

20 Fanfic Questions

I was tagged by @baronessblixen during the craziness of Fictober and I didn't get a chance to read her responses to her own questions until today. I also had the time to answer my own 20 questions. 😊

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

283 

2. What's your total ao3 word count?

1,638,714. And the vast majority of those words have been written on my phone. I would say… about 95% of them. (Please imagine a blinking eye gif here, because whaaaaaat…😳)

3. What fandoms do you write for?  

Mainly The X-Files, but I have written one for Sex Education and also a Mary Poppins story. (Bert and Mary were my first ship. I saw it in the movie theater in 1980 when I was five years old.  Even that young, I had a little shipper heart because I wanted them to be together so badly.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Per Cor Meum 

Soulmates 

Shared Kisses

Green Is Not Your Color

After the Credits

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?  

Yes and no. I used to be much better about it, but I so often don’t respond on ao3, but I do on social media outlets. I think it’s more the ease of it and the accessibility of a social media site. But I absolutely love and appreciate every single comment. I cry or laugh over them and always share them with my bestie. They make me incredibly happy. ❤️

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?  

I don’t think I have any. I try to leave the story with a somewhat happy ending, or at least a hopeful one. That’s always my goal because… maybe there’s hope. 

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?  

Hmm… most of them. Like I said, I try to leave them hopeful and at least attempt happiness where it may not have been previously. 

8. Do you get hate on fics?  

I have before, but only a couple. The one that sticks with me the most though was from an anonymous person who left a comment that said when an idea is discussed on social media and a story is suggested to be written about said discussion, I’m always quick to get a story out, before giving others a chance to do the same. So as a result, I’m a horrible person who writes “insipid” stories just to say I did it first and “you just… you SUCK at it.”

When I first read that, it hurt for sure, because it made the time I spent writing a story that immediately popped into my head and would not stop begging for my attention, seem trivial and small. It made me feel as though my writing was inconsequential and I should stop wasting my time doing it. It put a dark cloud over me for a wee bit, but then I got past it, though it still sticks in the back of my head there and I think about it from time to time. But I’m still here and still writing stories, almost at 300 now, so whoever wrote that can go ahead and get fucked. ✌

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes I do, but not always. And I suppose by kind, it means mild or hardcore, so I would say somewhere in between. 😂

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? 

No. I’ve not done that as of yet. 

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Stolen, no. But I was approached by someone about the dialogue that I used in a story being similar to what they had written in their own story. But as I pointed out to them, it was the dialogue from the show itself, so… 

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I don’t think so. 

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I have a few times! It’s fun and I enjoyed working with all the writers. 

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

Mulder and Scully for sure. I adore them so much. 

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a couple that I do want to finish so badly, I just need to do it. So, I’m going to choose to say, please continue being patient with me. 😊

16. What are your writing strengths?

Humor, I think. And banter. I love writing fun dialogue and imagining the way it would be said for real. 

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I think, without sounding like I’m being pompous, and also because I've been told by a few people, I’m pretty good at creating a story a person can fall into, imagine and enjoy. So, I think my personal weakness is sticking to one story until it’s done, although I’m better about it now than I was in the past. At least I think so. 😊 

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I would be nervous to do it, wanting it to be perfect. If I did, I would seek out help from a native speaker so I would then get it right and not just rely on the translation feature. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The X-Files 

20. Favorite fic you've ever written?

Soulmates ❤️ I spent over a year on that story, off and on, and then six months of writing it every day, with other stories created in between. It’s the one I’m most proud of and the longest one I’ve ever written. 

I'm tagging @tofuttim @agent-troi and anyone else who feels like playing.

[fics-not-tragedies]

January 2024 Music Prompts - Spotify Wrapped edition

♪ Hello again! Yes, I'm finally back, at last. Let's start new year with something great: music prompts ♪🎵🎶

♪ Since getting your Spotify Wrapped is such a huge event every year (at least for me, who listens to the same 5 artists and even tho I still get surprised, lol), I decided to surprise you with a little prompt event.

♪ I've chosen 15 songs from my 2023 Wrapped playlist and a lyric (or few) for each one of them that just has THE vibe (y'know):

1. Own My Mind ♫ Måneskin I'm prayin' at your altar if you know what I mean.

2. Dinner & Diatribes ♫ Hozier I’d suffer hell if you'd tell me/What you'd do to me tonight.

3. Kiwi ♫ Harry Styles She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes/Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect.

4. Electricity ♫ Arctic Monkeys Tell me something I don’t already know/Like how'd you get your kisses to fill me with electricity?

5. Francesca ♫ Hozier Though I know my heart would break/I'd tell them, "Put me back in it".

6. Honey (Are You Coming?) ♫ Måneskin I'm gonna show you how this Italian amor/It's gonna love you harder than ever before/You will like it.

7. Don't Blame Me ♫ Taylor Swift I would fall from grace/Just to touch your face.

8. For Your Love ♫ Måneskin I wanna be the first man you look at tonight/I wanna be stuck in your head and make you go wild.

9. Stuck ♫ Thirty Seconds to Mars I've been lost in your eyes all afternoon/The more I drift, the closer I get to you.

10. Mammamia ♫ Måneskin They ask me why I'm so hot, 'cause I'm italiano.

11. Nobody ♫ Hozier I'd be appalled if I saw you ever try to be a saint/I wouldn't fall for someone I thought couldn't misbehave/But I want you to know that I've had no love like your love.

12. I Can See You ♫ Taylor Swift But what would you do if I went to touch you now?/What would you do if they never found us out?/What would you do if we never made a sound?

13. Baby Said ♫ Måneskin Baby said, "Let me taste your silhouette/You can talk between my legs"/Uh-uh, uh, uh, know you really want to.

14. Cuff It ♫ Beyonce I wanna go higher, can I sit on top of you?

15. I Wanna Be Your Dog ♫ John McCrea So messed up, I want you here/In my room, I want you here/Now we're gonna be face-to-face/And I'll lay right down in my favorite place.

♪ You can now start making request for the following list of characters:

1. Keanu Reeves along with his following characters/movies:

John Wick & the John Wick movies franchise,

Constantine & the movie,

Johnny Utah & Point Break,

Jonathan Harker & Bram Stoker’s Dracula,

Neo & The Matrix,

dr Julian Mercer,

Jack Traven & Speed;

2. Riccardo Scamarcio along with:

Santino D’Antonio;

3. Andrew Hozier Byrne;

4. Tom Hiddleston along with his following characters/movies:

Sir Thomas Sharpe & Crimson Peak,

Loki & Avengers/Thor,

Adam & Only Lovers Left Alive,

dr Robert Laing & High Rise,

Jonathan Pine & The Night Manager;

5. Henry Cavill along with his following characters/movies:

Geralt of Rivia & The Witcher,

Walter Marshall & Nomis,

Capt. Syverson & Sand Castle,

Napoleon Solo & The Man from U.N.C.L.E.,

August Walker & MI: Fallout,

6. Alexander Skarsgård along with his following characters/movies:

Eric Northman & True Blood,

Leo Beiler & Mute,

Gadi Becker & The Little Drummer Girl,

sergeant Brad “Iceman” Colbert & Generation Kill,

7. Peaky Blinders franchise along with the following characters:

Thomas ‘Tommy’ Shelby,

Alfie Solomons,

8. Supernatural franchise along with the following characters:

Dean Winchester,

Sam Winchester,

9. The X Files franchise along with the following characters:

Dana Scully,

Fox Mulder,

10. Kiefer Sutherland along with his following characters/movies:

Jack Bauer & 24,

president Tom Kirkman & Designated Survivor,

David & The Lost Boys.

Please send in a number with the song/lyric you fancy + a character from those listed above, first come - first serve, as always.

If there are any questions don’t be afraid to ask them, I’m always all ears for y’all!

♪ LET'S CELEBRATE THE BEGINNING OF 2024 ✨

[thatfragilecapricorn30]

20 Questions for 20 Writers

thanks for the tag @queeenpersephone 💛

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 31

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 102,828

3. What fandoms do you write for? just the x-files!

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 1. bathroom light 2. chantilly lace 3. Siren Song 4. nautilus 5. Diversion

5. Do you respond to comments? yes, i appreciate getting comments so much, so i always make sure to thank the person!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? probably Diversion - that sweet, sweet cancer arc angst is the worst (best).

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of them have a happy ending! but the ending to rapprochement is pretty happy.

8. Do you get hate on fics? i never have!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? i have and every time i post it, just know i look like this: 🙈

10. Do you write crossovers? nope

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? once again, nope

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship? msr

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? hm, i definitely have some WIPs but i plan to finish them! even if it takes 10 years 😂

16. What are your writing strengths? i enjoy writing dialogue and i don't think i'm half-bad. i love writing banter between mulder and scully.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i wish i was better at writing long fics, especially case files. i'm so impressed by anyone who can create well-rounded OCs and intricately plotted stories. also wish i had more motivation to write. so many stories in my brain and not on paper!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? i think it's awesome if people have the knowledge of another language (or time to translate) and use that to make a fic more realistic. i've never done it and probably won't, though, lol.

19. First fandom you wrote for? the x-files. i'm a one trick pony 🐴

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? sometimes i reread Siren Song because i like that one a lot. it was written for a fic exchange and i got a great prompt. but also All Things Begin to Appear - an early fic that remains my longest and best attempt at a case file.

tagging some writers: @unremarkablehouse, @frogsmulder, , @randomfoggytiger, @bakedbakermom, @thursdayinspace,

@agent-troi, @thescullyphile