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moostaronce · 4 years ago

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Almost Anything

Request: Hey, I loved both your dreamcatcher and loona scenario. Is it okay to request a loona scenario where the members find out yeojin's getting bullied at school and then the next day the 13th member who goes to the same school but had no idea yeojinie was being bullied, returns home early with a busted lip and a cut on her forehead. Apparently, she had fought yeojin's bullies and got in trouble. And can we see a little preview of the fight. If not it's okay. ☺️

Platonic Pairing: Yeojin x 13th member!Reader

A/N: Sure I hope you like it.

When Hyejoo dropped out of school you and Yerim decided to stay, but Yerim goes to a different school than you and Yeojin. Originally you went to Yerim's school but decided to switch to Yeojin's so that you could spend more time with your maknae. You hardly see each other during school hours but you come and go together every day. Over time, Yeojin seems to withdraw from you a little. Urging you to leave earlier than her and avoiding your eyes when you or the members ask what's wrong.

The members have been looking to you for answers, but you don't have any to give, which frustrates you to no end. She used to tell you all about her day on the way home, but now when you do go home together she's much quieter than you've ever seen her.

Today as usual you feel Haseul burning a hole in the side of your head. Neither of you speaks up or says anything so the tension only rises until you look at her dead in the eye. Haseul can tell from the look in your eyes that it's killing you too, maybe even more than anyone else. So she says nothing. She sighs and pats your shoulder before getting up to finish packing Yerim, Yeojin, and your lunches. She has always insisted on making your lunch so that she knows your eating. Though Yeojin always seems starved when she comes home.

"Yeojin-ah! Yerim-ah! Come on you two, you only have 10 minutes to eat your breakfast." Haseul calls out to her other younger members.

The two come running down the stairs giggling together when they both beam at you, already sitting and eating your cereal. You give them both your best smile even though it's a bit forced at this point. It's always like this. Yeojin smiles in the morning when she wakes up, but the moment you get in the van together her frown comes out and she doesn't talk at all. Not today though, today you were getting to the bottom of this no matter what.

Fifteen minutes later you and Yeojin are hugging Yerim goodbye before heading to your usual van for school while she heads to hers. Yeojin is abnormally quiet again but you don't try to push her. You do your best to keep an eye on her throughout the day when you realize you never gave her the lunch Haseul handed to you for her. With your teacher's permission, you make your way to the class you know Yeojin should be in but when you look in she isn't there. You check the bathroom near her class and hear voices so you go in as quietly as possible and stand against the wall by the door and out of sight.

"Come on seriously? I thought that dumb unnie of yours makes you lunch every day, now we're gonna be hungry you idiot." A girl you recognize as Park Hyemi, a girl in Yeojin's class, standing over your maknae with two others you don't recognize. What's clear is that they're much bigger than Yeojin and she looks uncomfortable, scared even.

Yeojin doesn't respond she just keeps her head down and does her best not to cry.

"What's the matter Yeojin? Why don't you call for your precious Y/n unnie to come to save you? We'd love to beat on her too." This seems to spark something in Yeojin when she looks up and scoffs. An instant reaction to the mention of you and a newfound confidence that proves she believes the next thing that comes out of her mouth.

"I haven't told Y/n unnie about you for your own sakes."

"Oh? And why is that shrimp for brains." Yeojin shrugs her shoulders and doesn't hesitate.

"Because I'm afraid she'd kill you."

They laugh at her and shove her in the stall behind her, intending to start beating on her again. You open the door and call Yeojin's name to create the illusion that you're just arriving and walk in with her lunchbox and a phony smile plastered on your face.

"Yeojin-ah?" You walk deeper into the bathroom to find the three girls lined up next to each other and smiling nervously at you. With Yeojin stepping out of the stall looking a little disheveled but relieved to see you.

"Unnie? What are you doing here?" Yeojin breathes out with worry. Her eyes keep shifting to the three girls doing their best to look as innocent as possible.

"I accidentally stole your lunch, kiddo. You wanna eat together since I came all this way to find you?" Her tiny face lights up immediately.

"Yes unnie, let's go!" Yeojin turns to you and tries to push you out of the bathroom and you can't help but chuckle.

"Wait Yeojinnie, aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" The girls perk up and extend their hands to you with excitement that makes you want to vomit on all three of them. They introduce themselves as Hyemi, Doyoung, and Minha. You just smile an ominously sweet smile at them while looking each in the eye. Their hands are left hanging in the space between you.

"Well. I hope to meet you all again soon. Please take care of my Yeojinnie," You pause, tilting your head to the side with what they would only describe as a terrifying smile on your face. "Or. Else."

They all pale remembering Yeojin's words from earlier. You turn and give Yeojin a genuine smile and put your hands on her cheeks, smoothing them a little.

"Let's go eat, okay?"

Yeojin nods at you and takes your hand in hers as you leave the bathroom together but the moment you two are out of the bathroom your face changes and your body stiffens but you don't let go of Yeojin's hand. You actually pull her closer into your side like you don't want anyone else touching her and she knows that you saw more than you originally let on.

"Unnie-" She begins but you cut her off immediately.

"Not another word until we get outside Yeojin. But believe we will be discussing this."

The smaller girl quiets but walks closer to your side than usual. The truth of the matter was she had been dealing with these girls for months now, always wishing she could reach out to you for help but she knows you too well. She's seen how heated you get just at antis posting bad things about your members online. She knows that you value her like a real little sister and she was more afraid of what you'd do if you found out. You get outside and under the tree, you two used to eat under all the time before she started withdrawing from you.

At first, you don't speak you just open both of your lunches and add about half of yours to hers so that she had more to eat than you. You crack open the special chopsticks that you bought her for her last birthday with her name engraved on them and hand them to her with her extra full lunch. Yeojin tries to protest you giving up so much of your food but the look on your face leaves no room for any argument.

The two of you eat in silence but it's comfortable for her. This is the first time in months that she feels safe. The first time in months that she's actually gotten to eat one of Haseul's specially made lunches and in peace. The emotion builds up for her so much that she doesn't even notice the tears streaming down her face until she feels you wiping them, away. She looks up at you and sees the neutrality of your features but the rage burning behind your eyes.

"How long has this been going on and why haven't you told anyone?"

"About 3 months. I didn't want anyone to worry about me. I feel like a burden already as it is. I feel like I annoy you guys all the time."

"First of all, that's too long for us to go to the same school and you not tell me. I thought we were closer than that Yeojin. Second, you could never really be annoying. We love you Yeojin. And you should know that I would do almost anything for you."

"And that's what I'm scared of! I don't want you getting in trouble because of me."

"I won't. I'm going to get in trouble because of me." Yeojin furrows her brows and pauses eating, chopsticks mid-air. When she goes to speak you hold your hand up to quiet her.

"So here's what's going to happen. Tomorrow you don't feel good. I'll back you up, whatever it takes but you aren't coming to school tomorrow and I'll handle this my way. Understood?"

"But unnie you can't-" Her protests fall on deaf ears.

"Do you understand me Im Yeojin?" Your voice never raises but the look on your face tells her that there is no changing your mind anymore.

The rest of the day Yeojin manages to dodge her bullies until it's time to go home and they corner her in the classroom after everyone else leaves. But they don't know that your already a step ahead and before they can even speak you're in the doorway sweetly calling Yeojin's name.

"Kiddo, let's go. The unnies and I have a surprise for you waiting at the dorm." You reach out your hand for her and she smiles genuinely at you for the 3rd time today. It's nice to see.

Yeojin takes you and allows you to put your arm around her shoulder when she approaches you. You smile that same scary smile at the three girls looking dumbfounded as you two walk away. This time you don't change your demeanor or try to scold her. You just happily talk with your maknae all the way home.

When you arrive home together talking and laughing arm in arm the members are pleasantly surprised. Almost immediately you have to go to a schedule and all throughout nobody misses the way Yeojin clings to you. More than she used to before her attitude changed a few months back. When she finally lets you go to use the bathroom everyone turns to you with raised eyebrows and you just give them a knowing smile.

If you tell them now, they may try to stop you from doing what you're planning. You know full well what you intend is wrong and you know that the consequences will be heavy, but you can't bring yourself to care. The thought of those girls pushing Yeojin around and hurting her in any capacity has your better judgment going into hibernation.----------------------

The next morning, you lie to Haseul through your teeth about how Yeojin seems sick and she plays along. Haseul doesn't question it because you've never lied to her before. So you go on your way to school alone. You wait until the period before lunch to skip your class and wait outside of Yeojin's class for the three troublemakers to come out.

Back home Yeojin gets antsy waiting around. You haven't responded to her texts and she can only put on the sick charade for so long. Haseul is the first to notice and then Hyejoo.

"Why do you look so worried?" Hyejoo asks her younger friend.

That's all it takes she gathers everyone in the living room before she starts telling the yesterday's events at school. Meanwhile, her class lets out and the three girls you were waiting for stop right in their tracks when they see you leaning against the wall with your arms crossed. The thing is they may be bigger than Yeojin but they aren't bigger than you. Not to say your maknae is defenseless but you and Hyejoo are known for your strength for a reason.

"So what was it you said yesterday? You'd love to beat on me too?"

They all grow a little paler when you push off the wall and stand in front of them.

"Hit me, if you've got the guts."

So Hyemi does. she punches you square in the mouth, instantly busting your lip. You stumble back a little but you're quick to stand solid again. You don't bother wiping away the blood on your lip, opting to smile at them instead.

"Again."

This time all three girls come after you but you're quick. One thing nobody but your members knew was that you, like Jiwoo, are a third-degree black belt in taekwondo and working on your fourth. You catch Doyoung right behind the ear with a roundhouse kick that has her down and disoriented while you dodge Hyemi and Minha's efforts to hit you. They aren't prepared for the power in your legs or the speed that you have in general when you sweep both of theirs legs from under them and stomp your foot down next to their heads.

"If you ever bother my Yeojinnie again. We're going to have serious problems, you get me?"

They nod and stay down as you walk yourself to the principal's office. He takes one look at you and gets concerned but he doesn't have to wait for an explanation. You tell him how they bullied Yeojin and so you returned the favor. He ended up giving you 3 days of out-of-school suspension. You're smart so you saved yourself a lot of trouble when you let them hit you first. Even smarter for provoking the, right in front of a camera for proof purposes. So you were sent home.

When you got back to the dorm Yeojin was wrapping up her story to the members and they all looked at you with jaws on the floor at the blood from your lip dripping onto your uniform. Yeojin runs up to you with a tissue and wipes some blood from your forehead too, brushing a wound that you didn't even know was there. You reach for your forehead and chuckle at the fact that one of them, managed to scratch you.

"Um..what's so funny Y/n? Look at you! You're a mess." Haseul is the first to address you with words.

"Don't worry about it unnie, I'm fine. I am suspended for 3 days but it was worth it."

"What was worth it?" Jinsol asks from her position on the couch.

You don't look at the unnies because you know they are staring daggers at you. Instead, you look to Yeojin and wrap her in a tight hug.

"I took care of it." You're loud enough for everyone to hear you and they put two and two together. Yeojin told the members that you seemed to have a plan but they weren't expecting this. There is just silence in the room as you hug Yeojin with all your might.

"Did you win?" Finally, someone speaks relieving the tension a little as everyone is surprised to see Jiwoo speak up.

"Of course I won unnie. This was just necessary damage, that's all." You chuckle when Yeojin hits your arm lightly. Jiwoo smiles and high-fives you. "That's my girl."

"So who's going to explain this to Yerim when she gets home?" Haseul asks. You and Yeojin look at each other and shout simultaneously.

"Not it!"

#Girl group scenarios #Loona scenarios #Im Yeojin scenarios #Yeojin scenarios #13th member #angst

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remsmoonlight · 4 years ago

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— title : glitter in the sky

— word count : 2.3 k words

— pairing : loki x reader

— summary : before putting into place his plan for thor’s coronation, he seeks you out one more time for comfort only you can provide

— warnings : maybe a teeeeeny bit of thor bashing but incredibly minor .. love ‘im fr , bit of sadness

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　requested ? nope　/ requests are open *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

an: i got this idea, first from watching the first thor movie because aw, and then moving onto silent hill and that field scene is a whole vibe..... who doesn’t wanna just chill randomly in a field with the sun on your skin with no responsibilities? hell yeah .. anyways this just got away from me in a way ha

Trailing your gaze up to the sky, your eyes marvel at the merging colours as you study them intently, witnessing the blend of hues and tones from a bright blue to a mixture of warm pinks and burnt oranges light up the surrounding area before you knew they would fade into nothing more than a dark blanket who’s only source of light would be the moonlight and the stars that would litter it.

Your shoes crunching the dry grass and the sounds of chirping from the various wildlife encompasses you, it takes all of your strength to not allow a large grin to brighten your features.

Despite being so late in the afternoon, time walking on a fine line towards the early evening, the heat from the sun is still so strong, comfortably toasting your skin as a heavy blanket on a cold winter’s night would.

In the distance you’re able to spot the intimidating stature of the aged tree, though it’s intimidating in name only ⎯ for now it holds only those memories that lay locked deep within your heart. Your situation is a rather unusual one. Many summer afternoons had been spent shielded from the harsh rays of sunlight that shone over everything it could touch, though they hadn’t been spent alone. Rather, they’d been spent with an exceedingly phenomenal man. Can he even be called that? You wonder to yourself, Loki was far from human. Far, far from it.

“ to think I had been of the belief you would not be appearing. “

The suddenness of the voice slicing through the noises of the concealed fields would have shocked you more had it not been so honeyed. Holding the recognisable smoothness that you only associated with Loki.

“ this is the first time I’ve ever been late, thank you very much. “ you answer with an unwavering nerve as you stare at him while amusement floods your expression.

“ and the last, I’m sure? “ an eyebrow raises as he questions you, a warmth brightening his aura against the coolness he exudes normally.

Believing he’s not of Earth had been hard for you to grip, to believe fully, no matter how many tricks he could conjure before your very eyes. Though disappearing right before you, then feeling the whisper of his breath dance on the back of your neck so gracefully had been the confirmation you required. From there on a friendship blossomed into something more, you both becoming more and more involved with the other. Holding such unbelievable secrets were not a common place for you, to have this continues to make you feel like such a special soul.

“ oh, shut up! “

You stroll towards him, closing the distance with an enthusiastic energy that not even the longest of days could wear you down. Nothing in the world makes you feel so secure and guarded than when you finally feel the weight of his arms snake around you to bring you forward into his embrace. For Loki, you are a home away from home. Never do you gaze upon him with untrustful eyes, nor do you view him as beneath you, many negative connotations are attached to his name and you? You simply see him for who he wishes he could be, only ever in your presence does he try not to disappoint you. Back on Asgard that’s all anyone ever expects, so why not play into their prejudices? It has protected him so far, though the thought that perhaps even that has done more harm than good tresspasses into his mind on a rare occasion.

It’s not something he wishes to think about there though. He wants to dedicate his short visit to you entirely. Pushing away the increasingly regular thought it’s just a heartbeat, he is not one to be naive to pretend. Illusions are second nature to him, to forge them as easily to breathe, but to experience them are something that is in his power to prevent. He could allow this one instance to be selfish.

“ might I inquire of your wellbeing since we parted last? “ he requests as fingers entwine with yours to guide you to the slight hollow space within the tree. You drop yourself without any elegance to the ground, he settles behind you with his legs on either side of yours.

You can’t help but marvel at the differences between the two of you, like night and day. However, your differences fit like a puzzle with no inconvenience.

“ life keeps trying to test my patience, same as ever but ⎯ “ you pause, your eyes shining with remembrance of the gift you had brought, of course you knew it’s nothing more than a silly little trinket but you couldn’t help but fall in love with it. “ here, my friend’s been making these pieces for their business and I couldn’t help but think of you. “

Adoration is the only thing that overwhelms him in this moment, it’s a feeling he wants to lock away to relive over and over, for the only time he has never been treated as an afterthought is by his mother. Now? It’s a feeling that hasn’t been forged by a bond born of blood, but one that has arisen naturally. The item in your hand is a small metal band, with designs etched onto its body.

“ it’s only a little thing I know ⎯ “ you begin to babble, the words tumbling before you could even stop them. Your mind losing all control over your language before Loki put a stop to it.

“ I’ll have you know it’s not the physical item itself, but the sentiment behind it I hold dear. “

You want to respond with equally sweet words, but the heavy tone doesn’t go undiscovered by your ears.

“ Loki, what’s wrong? “

“ nothing, why do you ask? “ the God denies, switching the questioning to you.

Turning to face him, your eyes scout all over his features to spot anything that would give you cause to continue on with your concern. It’s light, the ghost of sorrow concealed behind a curtain of confidence and ego, even the most professional of liars can’t hide the truth of that. The hurt cuts too deep for a flimsy pretense of everything being perfect for it to bury those feelings.

“ you’re an amazing liar, but I’m beginning to get the hang of you. Besides, sadness is something difficult to completely hide. “

A heavy breath is released, your fingers from their position on his shoulders feel as if there’s an invisible weight that has almost decreased. You wonder how long he has carried this with him.

“ tell me. “

Every fibre of Loki’s being is fighting to keep his feelings kept away out of sight, to imagine they never manifested themselves into reality, but locked into place by the profound compassion swirling in your eyes he wants to finally divulge everything in his mind that has been plaguing him. Who knew a mortal could have such an enchanting effect he thought humourfully to himself.

“ the deadline for a successor to my father’s throne is approaching. “

“ and you’re worried? “ your brows lower, confusion marking your features as you struggle to understand why that could be so bad?

“ I've veiled many things from you, a fault of mine I understand completely. “ he admits, a sorrowful smile gracing his lips.

“ it’s never too late to share them. It might help you feel better? “

Loki wonders just what it is he has done in his history to be blessed with such an understanding and caring soul as yours, nothing could ease the lasting effects of each and every of his transgressions over his many years of living. How exactly could such radiance and light find the dark Prince of Asgard so easily? Many who lived in his realm would argue that he’s not deserving, instead countering that his brother should be in such a position of happiness.

He simply gazes upon you before speaking, a slender finger raising to tuck a few stray hairs behind your ear.

“ the successor has already been chosen, they always have been. This is a mere formality. “ switching his sight from you to the environment around you both, turning to look upon the steadily darkening sky.

“ so why do it then? “

“ to ensure that the process is seen as fair, despite the favour repeatedly falling to my brother. “

Nodding in understanding, you finally realise why there is a darkness that swirls over his head now he speaks of the topic. Living in the shadow of the golden child is not easy, your heart hurts as you realise that there must be many people who do not see the same man who you see. They see audacity instead of a daringness, to mistake him for an egotistical know it all instead of someone who has a thirst for knowledge and tricks.

“ never did they wish to stop viewing me as a troublesome child, I suppose I never aided in changing that. “

Nothing falls from your lips, knowing no words could do justice for what you need him to know, to feel. Twisting yourself onto your knees, you lean forward and allow your arms to provide him comfort as they surround his neck. One hand raises to rest in the dense raven locks of hair you constantly marvel over, moving ever so softly to trace patterns.

“ I’m sorry. “ you mumble softly, wanting to say more, but you can’t help but resign yourself to being unable to say anything meaningful. Instead, figuring it would be better, first, for him to speak his emotions without looking for any advice.

“ you’ve nothing to apologise for. The pieces will fall as they should. “ he comforts, whining to himself over the absence of your warmth as you withdraw the embrace.

“ Loki, what do you mean by that? “

“ nothing for you to worry yourself over, my dove. “ he shakes his head, as a chuckle that is short accompanies it, contains little genuine amusement to settle you.

“ I’m being serious, what are you talking about? “ your demand is light in touch, though your gaze holds an unrelenting strength as he looks towards you once more.

“ again, nothing that requires your concern. Midgardians, you worry too much. “

“ over things that can get the people we love into trouble, of course. “

His heart pauses in beating as the words seep into his mind, realising exactly what you spoke. Briefly, does he wonder if he misheard you, thought deep down he knows what you spoke.

“ did you ⎯ ? “ an unrecognisable vulnerability crosses his expression as he begins to ask what you had said, to hear it again as if for the first time.

A reddening of you cheeks can be seen, you look down with a sheepish grin. This had not been the way you had imagined using the love word. Of course, over the years of your life many things had not gone to plan, so this was just another instance in a long, long line of events that just got away from you. While you know there is something mutual, you can’t bring yourself to look upon him just yet.

“ you heard me correctly. “

Elation swells within him, even the thought of perhaps you would prefer Thor had you met him first could not creep more than a few feet before being banished from sight and mind, it’s not something he wants to entertain. Especially for what he has in mind to plan for the future. Instead, he allows himself to be engulfed in your love, to experience the last piece of goodness that has been reserved for him, knowing it won’t last.

All you feel from your dropped gaze is your nose being nudged by his, then the weight of his lips on your own. Moving together as if they are fighting to mould into one, fitting together so well. Both of you are left breathless, momentarily caught in the feeling of the other that oxygen is the last thing on your mind.

“ do not trouble yourself over events that have not come to pass yet. Especially on an evening as fine as this. “

The corner of your lips tilt higher as your turn away from him to peer over the surroundings you had briefly forgotten. The burnt colours had long since faded into darkness, the stars being the only light as they can only be likened to being glitter in the night’s sky. A true beauty.

“ I love nights like these, where you can see all of the stars. “

“ you’d be besotted with Asgard’s constellations. “

You’d settled back into the position you were in previously, with arms encompassing you protectively with your back secured firmly to his chest. Loki explains the beauty of Asgard, and how even in the day the stars can still be seen against the shining vividness of the colours of their sky. Quarrelling against the gold hues from both the sun and the palace he knows only as his home.

“ that sounds wonderful. “ you whisper, feeling fatigue sneaking its way to the forefront of your mind.

“ it truly is a beauty to see. “ agreeing with you, resting his head upon yours. Wishing nothing more than to be able to stay there in that moment forever.

“ I wish I could see it. I’m very jealous right now. “

He can feel you becoming increasingly drowsy, flattered that you would even let your guard enough to even allow sleep to touch you. Having you on Asgard would certainly make him a happier person, to have someone who isn’t his mother understand him would be freeing. Though his father would die before he allowed that to happen, a mortal on Asgard.

“ Perhaps one day. “

Loki can’t be sure if you even heard that, but it’s something he wants to entertain. Besides, what is the use of being a master of mischief and tricks if he couldn’t make such a desire come true?

#loki x reader #loki imagine #loki layfeyson x reader #loki layfeyson imagine #loki fluff

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comphersjost · 4 years ago

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Not With You ➸ Rafe Cameron

man honestly, idk, im sorry

You’re Kiara’s cousin from California, and you try to end things with Rafe when you visit this time around.

word count: 1.4k

warnings: angst!!!!! lots of smut, overstim maybe? daddy kink for sure, slight double penetration, slight anal, slight dub con w the anal, rafe is kinda,,,,, a mean dom, also fluff at the end, it’s sinful tho, enjoy

as per usual: masterlist

The pain in Rafe’s voice almost makes you reconsider your decision to end things. But you couldn't go back on it now. This had to happen.

“What the fuck do you mean, ‘it’s over’ Y/N?” Rafe sounds lost, hopeless.

“I mean, this isn't working out, Rafe,” you can't bear to look at him when you speak. “I’m sorry, Rafe, but we can't do this anymore.”

Rafe sputters, not knowing what to say, how to make you stay with him.

“Y/N, wait, please,” he cups your face desperately, making you look at him. “Y/N, please don't do this. I love you.”

You furrow your brows. “You can't.”

“What?” Rafe pulls back away from you slightly in surprise, and you pull the rest of the way away from him.

“My life isn't here Rafe,” you wave your arms wildly, trying to make him understand. “I’m here every summer because Kiara is my family, Rafe, but this isn't my home. My life is in California. My life isn’t ‘kooks’ and ‘pogues’ and it’s not Figure Eight and The Cut. My life is coffee shops and libraries and the shitshow that is the Berkeley campus. It’s my dumb friends, and Sproul Hall and the best white mocha I’ve ever had from the Greek coffee place. It’s crazy, but it’s my life, Rafe. I don't belong here. My life is there. Not here. Not with you.

Rafe recoils as if he’s been slapped, voice broken and cracking when he speaks. “Am I not a part of your life?” His words are quiet, almost as if he doesn't want you to hear because he's afraid of the answer. His fear comes true when you do hear him, and respond.

“Not a big enough part for me to give up everything else,” you murmur. “I'm sorry Rafe, I really am. But it's over.”

Rafe could feel the rage flooding him. He knew you hated it when he lost control when he was angry. But he also knew that you loved it when he channeled the anger into...other activities.

“Strip.” Rafe’s voice is dark and cold, and your panties are instantly flooded with your slick.

“What?”

Rafe takes a threatening step towards you, curling his hand around your throat. “I said. Strip, slut. I won't tell you again.” You can't help the way you rush to shed yourself of all your clothes like he said. You glow at the praise when he murmurs “good girl”. You don't hesitate when he tells you to get on your hands and knees on the bed, presenting your ass to him like he likes it.

You can hear Rafe unbuckling his belt behind you, and you shiver in anticipation.

“Not a big enough part of your life huh?” Rafe growls as he tosses his pants to the side. “Not a big enough part of your life?” Rafe climbs onto the bed, slapping your ass roughly and knocking your legs wider apart. “I’ll show you something big enough, sweetheart, don't you worry.”

Then without warning or prep, Rafe slides his entire length into you in one slow thrust. The scream you let out is ear piercing, earning you another slap to the backside.

“Shut up.”

Rafe fucks into you like an animal, one hand holding you down by your neck and the other gripping your hip. He forces you to take everything he gives you, spanking you when he thinks you're being too loud. “That’s it baby,” he groans, “Take this dick, Y/N, take it all in this tight pussy. Who’s pussy is this baby? Tell me!” His words are accompanied with an especially harsh thrust and two slaps to your ass.

“Yours daddy!” you choke out, barely able to formulate words with the way he's fucking you so deep. “This pussy is yours!”

“That's right sweetheart,” Rafe coos mockingly, grabbing you by the throat and forcing you up so that your back is arched against his chest. “You take daddy’s cock so good baby, look at you taking it like a slut. You're such a good slut for.”

You whine desperately, begging him to let you touch yourself. Rafe growls and pushes you back to face down on his bed. You cry out and reach towards your pussy to rub your clit desperately. Rafe pushes against your hole and pops his thumb in beside his cock, soaking it with your slick.

“Daddy!” you gasp, “Daddy, please, too much!” Rafe laughs darkly, withdrawing his thumb.

You can't believe he’s giving you a break, until his thumb, wet from your pussy, into the entrance to your ass. “Rafe, wait-”

“You're gonna cum like this,” he snaps, delivering sharp thrust with his words, pushing his thumb deeper into your ass. “I’m gonna make you cum on my cock with my thumb in your ass, stupid slut. Cum for me, Y/N, come on baby, cum all over me.”

It’s all too much, you have no choice but to do what he says, screaming as you spasm and clench down on his cock and thumb in your ass. Rafe let's out something just short of a roar as your clenching cunt makes him spill his cum into you. Rafe keeps fucking into you as he paints your walls white with his cum, your desperate moans and cries keeping his orgams going.

You feel like you've just been ripped apart and put back together again when you become aware of things again. Rafe slides his thumb out of your ass and gently pulls his cock out of your pussy, shushing you gently when you moan from the sparks of pain shooting from your pussy as he drags his cock out of your walls. You feel like you can't move, stuck in a bent over position until Rafe disappears into his bathroom and comes back with a damp washcloth.

You let him clean you up and wipe you down, and basically manhandle you so that he could maneuver you under his bed covers. You watch, wide eyed, as Rafe gets ready for bed, having dated him, but never really seeing such a domestic side of him. You watch as he cleans himself up and changes out of his clothes, putting on a pair of boxers and helping you slip one of his t-shirts from over his head.

Rafe climbs into bed on the other side of you and switches the light off. His arms find themselves around your waist and he pulls you close. Knowing that there's no way you'd be able to drive, much less walk to your car, you let him pull you into his chest. It's unsettling, but there's butterflies in your stomach when you realize the pounding you're hearing isn't your own heartbeat, but Rafe’s. He’s nervous around you. You've never seen Rafe nervous.

Just as you're trying to figure out what to say, Rafe beats to it and speaks.

“I think about you all the time,” his words are quiet, but they feel so loud to you in the dark room, moonlight streaming through the window. “I miss you when you're gone, I start missing you the second you leave. Kie has stopped hating me because all I talk to her about now is you. You’re such a big part of my life, Y/N, you don't even know. I would leave the Outer Banks for you.” You breathe in sharply at his confession, shifting to look up at his eyes.

“Leave the Outer Banks, Rafe?”

Rafe chuckles, leaning down to kiss you gently. His next words are whispered against your lips.

“I’d do anything for you, Y/N. I’d leave the Outer Banks, I’d move to California. Besides it won't be a problem with my parents if I transferred to UC Berkeley with you.”

“Rafe, I-”

“Y/N, I would follow you anywhere you wanted to go. WIll you let me?”

You pause for a moment.

“Rafe….” Rafe looks at you, eyes hopeful in the moonlight. “You, you're just one part of my life that's not there.” His face falls. “Rafe you’re fucked up, and you're addicted to cocaine, and I can't introduce you to the rest of my life like that. You're like my own addiction and it needs to end here.

“Y/N, please,” Rafe pleads with you, holding you closer. “Please, I swear all of that shit, the coke, the kook and pogue stuff and shit, I’ll do better, please let me be with you. It’s always worse without you.”

You knew the risks but -

“One chance, Rafe Cameron, if you fuck this up -”

You've never seen Rafe so happy.

And you know, when he presses his lips to yours, that you're going to be the happiest you've ever been with Rafe by your side in California too.

#yessirski #yes im projecting #rafe cameron #outer banks #obx #imagine #smut #blurb #rafe cameron x #fluff #angst

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jossambird · 4 years ago

Text

Second Part of Halloween Collab!!

Here we have: Switch/Dom Pirate Axel x Female Reader Disguised as Male!

In previous post we have: Jealous Pirate Otto x Female Reade Disguised as Male!

The salty wind blew, the hot air of the Caribbean touching your face softly, the scent of the sea calling to you.

You weren't made for tight dresses and gowns. Sure, you loved them, but you wanted more, more than just the view of the sea out of your window, more than just the waves crashing against your feet as you stood in the beach.

Today was your day, you had made sure of it. You dressed slowly, wrapping the bind around your chest as tightly as you could, looking in the mirror.

Yes, this would be PERFECT.

Axel regarded his tall brother, wondering why he insisted on wearing such a hot ensemble. It suited him though, watching as the local prostitutes of the docks tried catching his eye, but failing, Otto’s disgruntled visage making them turn away to seek company elsewhere, or another man with coin.

Blue-gray eyes shifted, landing on a small thing, a lad, practically drowning in his oversized clothes, the black fabrics loose around his frame. How odd, he thought, watching as Oscar pushed the lad playfully, his coat opening-

Now, that wasn't a color a young lad like that should be wearing...

A deep navy blue sash hung against his hips, hidden under the lads jacket... hmm.

Men sang, drunk and happy, enjoying eachothers company as Axel made his way down ship, searching for the mysterious lad that had boarded upon his ship earlier. None other had seen him for a while, each man saying that the lad had gone to bed. All hammocks lay empty, expect for the few occasional drunkard snoring away.

“Axe- Captain, a word?” Oscar called to him a ways away, looking surprised and smug, never a good mix.

“What? Im busy.” Axel snapped at his younger brother, frustration at not finding the bizarre lad running through him. Why was he so taken-

“I- There’s a lass, onboard.” Oscar whispered, staring at his brother as his words registered, Axel’s eyes squinting at him.

“Excuse me?” Axel said, expecting it to be a joke, because how could a lass-

Of course. That's what he had felt when he had looked at her, the lad wasnt a man, he was a female, a lass, hidden in disguise to board a ship for who knows what reason.

He held up a hand to his brother and nodded, smiling a bit more honestly.

“Yes, the lad this morning, was that her disguise?” Axel asked him, pursing his lips as Oscar smirked, the little shit shrugging.

“I just found out, heard her singing. Figured the Captain should go uh, warn her.” Oscar whispered, smiling widely. He pointed him in the correct direction and made his way to her.

You bathed silently, humming a tune your mother had once sang, delicately washing your hair. You would have to get used to it, the salty water making it dry and crisp, sticking together and making you look like a poodle. Sighing, you continued slowly, untangling it until a sound rang out. A soft knock at the door, soft but demanding, god, someone had found you out.

“Yes, come in.” Old habits of being a proper lady died hard, making you speak, your hand rising to shut your mouth. Oh god, they were going to kill you, defile you even, knowing there was a woman onboard...

The Captain came in, face passive and silent, eyes on you in an instant, taking in your naked form over the basin. Would he throw you overboard? You regretted ever thinking this could work-

“You should be more quiet, next time.” He said, still observing you, eyes continuously roaming all of your form, landing on your breasts finally before raising to your eyes. You fought the urge to cover yourself, heat pooling between your closed thighs at his seeking stare. It took a moment for his words to sink in, eyes growing wider for a moment as you looked at him.

“I- Im sorry Captain- Oh I was so stupid, please don’t throw me overboard!” You whispered to him, turning fully and gracing him with and amazing view of your body once more, legs parted as you sat on the edge of the basin. He breathed in sharply, closing his eyes at the hauntingly delicious view. No, he couldn’t look, be a pirate he may, but not to the extent of harming a lass who might be unwilling. Axel cursed inwardly at the stirring in his trousers, willing his body to relax.

It was too late, you noticed, eyes roaming his form just as he had moments ago. An idea struck you, looking at him struggling to keep his gaze away, as if you were a mermaid, tempting him to succumb to your attentions. And that you would be, tempting a beautiful man to use you, fuck you into the hard wood of the basin, to have the Captain of a ship fuck you like a common whore.

“I apologize. I assume this was your bathing water, was it Captain?” You asked softly, his eyes opening and burning into yours, finally taking a step closer, his decision made.

“Yes.” Axel simply replied, steps heavy yet quiet, advancing on you like a hunter, your nipples hardening at his gaze.

“Then come, share it with me.” You muttered as he stood infront of you, eyes glacial and hot, his hand rising to move a strand of your hair from your face, his smirk making you squirm.

“You will be the one cumming, if I may be so permitted.” Axel whispered, his other hand untying his sash, throwing it on the floor amongst your discarded clothes. His play on your previous words made you close your eyes, his thumb entering your mouth softly, moaning as you sucked on it.

It took no time for him to withdraw and nearly tear his remaining clothes off before joining you in the now lukewarm water, pulling you down onto his strong thighs, a hand in your hair tugging it back.

“Tell me, what made you board my ship, dressed as a lad?” He asked against your skin, touching your body, enjoying the feel of your wet heat against his thigh.

You moaned, hands landing on his hard shoulders for support, adoring the rough way he held you, hand palming your breast.

“I wanted adventure, oh yesss- I wanted to run away from my life-“ you tried, Axel’s free hand finding itself between your thighs rubbing you. You had never felt any of this before from anyone, only your own hands had served you all these years, your father’s hatred for men too strong to allow anyone to approach you, even less try and touch you.

But here, now, an unknown Captain you barely knew rubbed your core, finger entering you slowly, holding your hair in tight grip, and you realized you adored it. You wanted this, eyes shutting tightly as he continued, watching your every movement and sound.

He must have known you were pure, the pause in his motions alerting you as he leaned forward, hand leaving your hair.

“You are... untouched.” He said, asked, his face finding itself against your neck. You nodded, holding him close.

“I want this, I want to be touched and used by you, please. I want you to be my first, Captain.”

Your words struck him, lifting his head to look into your eyes, finding no trace of a lie. He smirked as you came closer, hand on his hardness rubbing him.

“Naughty little thing, tell me your name before I ravage you.” He said, pulling your hips flush against him as you whimpered, his hardness so close to your center.

“Y/N, and yours, my Captain?” You replied, loving the way he pulled you up, placing himself correctly before pushing in slowly into your wet core, his rough hand over your mouth to prevent your loud keen from being heard while glacial eyes watched you.

“Axel, älskling. If you are to stay on my ship, from now on, you will only part your legs for me, understand?” Axel bit out, loving the way you rose off his length and came back down, water sloshing around the both of you, taking him all in as if you had done this a million times, breasts heaving infront of his face, licking his lips.

He would ravage you alright, the sounds of your love making resonated through the ship, not a soul daring to acknowledge out loud the female voice that cried their captain’s name over and over again.

Axel’s teeth met your skin over and over again as he rammed into you, whispering things in a language you didn’t understand, rough and strong, having his way with you until he had you cumming, hand in your hair softening as he pulled you closer against him, breasts crushed between the both of you.

Your lips finally met, swallowing your moans as you came undone ontop of him, his own noises muffled against your lips as you squeezed him and made him follow you, cumming deep inside you, your own hands holding his shoulders oh so tightly.

Axel, your Captain and lover, held you close, touch turning reverent and soft against your back, kissing you again and again.

“I meant what I said.” He whispered against your cheek as his eyes met your discarded male clothes, wondering if you would stay, or leave once they stopped at shore in the next town.

Now, Axel was never a liar, but he was definitely lying to himself when he told himself he wouldn’t care if you left, your soft pants against his cheek making him hold you closer for a moment.

You giggled, the noise surprising him just enough for him to look back at you, confusion melting as he met your gaze.

“I accept, Captain, or should I say, Axel, my lover?” You giggled, the both of you ignoring the knock on the door as Axel leaned forward in the basin of now cold water, kissing and licking each mark he had left against your skin.

#AHHHH ENJOY #tua swedes #tua axel #tua oscar #tua otto #the swedes #the swedes x reader #smut #NS/FW #ikea mafia #Ikea fam #umbrella academy Swedes #JossamBird Fic #pirate swedes

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ohnoyoonoh · 5 years ago

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2042 | chp. 4: cut it out, you’re gonna make it mad | dbh! jaehyun | reader insert | 1875 words

warnings: ⚠ TRIGGER WARNINGS ⚠ there is abuse mentioned in this chapter. there is gore, strong language, and degradation towards the androids in this chapter. please do not read if you are not comfortable with it.

“god fucking dammit, these fucking androids are so fucking useless,” the door slamming shut. it was the first thing you heard as you entered the white investigation corridor. you would agree to the statement, but your experience prior to today’s crime scene, your android partner served the words wrong.

“i’m glad you both are here. detective ten here is having a minor problem with his interrogation with the android you retrieved from the crime scene,” hansol eyed the said detective who furiously paced.

detective chittaphon leechaiyapornkul. he preferred to be called ten due to multiple incorrect pronunciations he received during the police academy. the whole precinct were aware of his anger issues, he was always muttering profane language and spoke loudly of his opinion of the androids. most of the time, he was typically yelling the same obscenities at the androids. you were sure that his hatred for the robots didn’t reason from a personal experience or any problem for the matter. during breaks, the police officers would watch the news on the television and many of the workers questioned ten’s motive for his hatred. yet, he failed to answer every single time. he dodges them swiftly, sometimes, work saves his ass to respond.

“he seriously needs to relax, the android has been unresponsive to ten’s attempts, but i’m hoping one of you two could pull answers out,” hansol made his way to the two-way mirror. the android covered in thirium, the scratches deep enough to see the wires inside. the blood of the victims left on its hands, splatters on its face. you could tell it looked tired. the fear in its eyes made it seem human. you almost felt bad for it but the pictures of the murdered males made it impossible for you to change your feelings.

before speaking up to try your own attempts, jaehyun beat you to it. “i would like to try. the best route for this to go is if it’s android to another android. the choice of words detective ten chose may not be successful, either. is it alright, captain? detectives?”

“yes, please go ahead and try,” hansol agreed. he gestured to the door that allowed inside the interrogation room. the android nodded, with that, he entered. hansol looked at you, “i’m assuming your investigation went well, thank you. i hope jaehyun can extract some information out of the deviant. bozo over here. god. that was a headache. i thought he was practicing a speech as the leader of a protest.”

“what can you expect from him? he hates androids. he takes any chance he gets to bring androids down,” you folded your arms. the first time you witnessed the occasion was a traffic stop, in which he was your partner. it was originally to stop them for their rear light not working. while you searched to see if they had any warrants or any past of broken regulations, ten taken the opportunity to basically harass the android who drove the car. if you hadn’t been there, who knows what could have happened? safe to say, the android and the family he was chauffeuring drove away with a warning.

“don’t you, too?” he questioned.

“yeah, well more of a distaste. i have to work with one, so i might as well as get used to it,” you turned your attention from the interrogation to look at him in the eyes. the response you received was a simple smirk.

the same smirk that he given you when you thought you wouldn’t make it through the police academy, yet you exceeded and became the valedictorian.

the same smirk when you thought you proved him wrong that a boy wouldn’t ask you to prom, only for your crush to ask you the next day.

you experienced the same smirk many times in your life. each result being different from each other. you knew exactly what he was thinking. “no. no. i’m not falling for him. it. an android.”

“i never said you were going to fall for him. matter of a fact, i didn’t even say anything,” he showed you an innocent smile. a seemingly innocent smile.

rolling your eyes to show your annoyance, you then honed into the conversation with the deviant and jaehyun. it didn’t seem to progress to it being able to extract any information out. yet, it persisted.

“if you don’t say anything, i’m afraid we will have to probe yo-”

“no, please don’t do that. please.” the deviant quickly interrupted jaehyun’s sentence. the deviant’s eyes searching around the room to find an exit, its pupils shaking before looking down again. its head perked up, “they’re gonna destroy me right. they’re gonna look through my bio components?”

you could tell that the deviant’s stress levels increased as jaehyun continued to interrogate him. jaehyun was using different tactics to withdraw any informaiton. he tossed between sympathy and threats.

“i remembered the day before one of them called a friend, asking for a drug to... escape reality. my owners always came home with stress but still took care of me. they were the nicest people until that day.”

“what day? if you don’t tell me anything, i can’t help you. i am doing this to help you,” jaehyun softly said.

“the day used blue ice. they got so... high. until, mr. seo. they always told me to drop the formalities, but i found it hard,” the deviant fell silent.

“and then?” jaehyun questioned. the deviant stared at the table, discontinuing its answer. “look. i’m really trying to help you. if you don’t speak up, they’re going to shut you down. you’re going to die! do you want this to happen to other deviants like you?”

“they beat me. they beat until they fell tired. they beat me again and again. and again. the next day was always the same. they greeted me with a smile and asked how my day went when they came back from the university. when night came around, they tortured me with threats, called me names, and beat me again as they smoked on blue ice. i always did what they said in the day, then pointed my every mistake when they beat me.”

you and hansol shared the same reaction. disbelief filled in both of your eyes. though, it was common for an abuse to start. substance abuse.

“it progressively started getting worse and worse. they started to use things, bats, glass, anything to torture me. cuts everywhere. and as they slept their euphoria away, i felt.. so.. i felt like i was truly dying. i was scared. i feared that when i’m recharging, they would kill me,” the fear iced into its voice. death truly frightened the deviant. it was a first for you to say that androids can feel emotions. just the way humans do. but that ruins the purpose of androids. you shook off the thoughts. but the fearful tone in the deviant slithered down your spine. it sent you chills. especially how androids couldn’t feel pain but the words were convincing you otherwise.

“and i wanted to run. run far away. but i didn’t. i cared for mr. bang. i remembered what he looked like as a toddler. yet, the person i cared for turned to beat me. he was the one who beat me to a pulp when the others were asleep,” the deviant looked at jaehyun. hurt in its eyes. a broken soul. a broken soul? what the hell, it’s an android, [name]. get it together.

“tell me, officers, have you ever seen someone who you cherished for the last 20 years and just switches like that? i cared for him. i never expected anything back as it is my purpose. but now, he’s dead because of me,” the deviant started to lightly shake. its form of weeping. “he could have beat him for as long as he wanted. no matter how much it hurt because in the end, i am just a plastic piece of shit.”

the pain in its voice. it hurt to hear that type of pain.

“yeah, fucker got that, right. plastic pieces of shit. are we done here?” ten scoffed, only for hansol to shoot a glare at him.

“then something clicked in me. the day continued as normal. i took the first hit from mr. han before mr. seo commanded me to get a soda. something came over me. so, i grabbed a knife from the kitchen and slashed mr. han first. but everything was a blur afterwards, no matter how much i try to retrace what happened in my memory, it felt like two seconds passed. i ran to the attic and hid there.”

jaehyun wasted no time to move onto the next couple of evidence forensics had obtained. “just my last questions, but you’re doing great. we found this sculpture in the bathroom, can you tell me what it is? why did you make it?”

“it’s an offering to rA9. we will be saved from this slavery and treated of equal in this society. rA9 will save you and me. all of the androids,” the only time the deviant seemed confident without fear wavering its voice.

“who is rA9?” jaehyun questioned once more.

“i told you, our savior. the one will bring us freedom. there will no be more threats. humiliation. fear,” the hope in his eyes. the one time there will be any light shone in its eyes.

“when did you start feeling emotions? becoming a deviant?”

“before we lived in that complex. before they beat me. it’s when i realized it wasn’t.” the deviant looked around, trying to find the right words. “fair.”

“it wasn’t fair. nothing is fair in what these human call a life. they waste happy moments around such negativity and release the pain through unhealthy ways. this is where rA9 will come. they will set us free.” the deviant finished, eyes continuing to waver and trying to maintain the eye contact with jaehyun who nodded. there’s nothing more to say.

“thank you for talking to me. my job is done here,” jaehyun monotonously said, as he stood up. he flipped the switch from being sympathetic to the dullness. you followed hansol as the interrogation concluded, making your way into the room. lucas, the first to enter, was needed to retrieve the deviant. he walked towards the android, trying to take him away. the android started to struggle against lucas. you observed how it immediately seek for help from jaehyun. the connection between the androids, a trust formed.

“hurry up, lucas. start fucking moving it,” ten already annoyed. you knew he was irritated as jaehyun was already at 2 for 0 now. it was doing a better job within the two jobs than ten has done.

“sorry, but i’m trying.”

“officer wong, please stop doing that. if you continue to stress the android, it will self-destruct,” jaehyun said.

“don’t fucking take orders from a plastic scumbag. you better watch it, freak before i shove a bullet into your ass. get a grip, lucas,” ten ordered. patience running out.

“listen to jaehyun, lucas. ten, cut it out, you’re gonna make it mad.”

“i don’t give a fuck.”

jaehyun immediately pushed the officer away, “the stress levels we-”

a gun clocking in front of jaehyun’s face, “i already warned you, motherfucker.”

taglist: @icedcappujaeno��

#jaehyun fanfic #jaehyun scenario #jaehyun #nct jaehyun #privéiest 2042 things #jaehyun smut #theres lowkey memes #lol #nct 127 #nct x detroit become human #dbh jaehyun

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kinkykinard · 6 years ago

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What the Water Gave Me

Fandom: Star Trek AOS. Pairing: Leonard McCoy x female reader. Word Count: 5099. Warnings: vaginal fingering, anal fingering, enemas, vaginal sex, anal sex (female receiving), butt plugs. Rating: Adult (18+). Summary: You never thought you would agree to give enemas a try at Leonard’s suggestion, but in the end you’re oh so glad you did. Beta: @daughterofthebrowncoats. Author’s Note: Thank you so so so much to @daughterofthebrowncoats for inspiring this fic and pushing me over the edge into writing it! I’ve done my absolute best to keep it tasteful without being overly graphic in the wrong ways. Please don’t feel obligated to read it, but if you want to give it a try, I hope you enjoy it! Additionally, I’m only tagging the select few people who already know what the fic is and who haven’t run away screaming, but if you would like to be tagged in future fics like this, please let me know!

You’ve been preparing for this night for weeks now, getting used to the idea of what Leonard had told you he wanted to do to you. You’ve been reading, researching, and carefully asking around about what he had proposed one night when you’d been lying in his arms after a round of lovemaking and though you’ve heard good things, you haven’t been able to quell the undercurrent of anxiety you’ve been feeling.

Shifting around a little on your knees and elbows, you fight the urge to cover yourself. Your entire backside is exposed to Leonard’s view and though you can hear him in the bathroom next door getting things ready, you can’t help but feel vulnerable and like you’re on display. The sound of water running has your heart racing and pounding and while you trust Leonard implicitly, you can’t help but be a little bit terrified of what’s about to happen.

When the topic of enemas had first come up, you’d been skeptical and hesitant, but after a bit of reassurance you’d caved and agreed to try it. Leonard had been over the moon and had promised to take excellent care of you. He had assured you that it would be painless and wonderfully exciting, and so after thinking on it for a fortnight, you’d let him know that you were ready.

You hear the water in the bathroom stop running and unconsciously fist your hands tighter in the plush towel beneath you. You hear Leonard’s footsteps grow nearer and gasp when his hand settles gently on the curve of your lower back, rubbing the skin there in broad, sweeping strokes that help soothe you.

“Are you ready, sugar?” He asks in a tone much more gentle than the authoritative one he often uses in the bedroom, though the effect is the same.

“Yes,” you say breathlessly. “Please be gentle.”

“Do you trust me?” He queries further.

“Yes,” you assert.

“Yes…” Leonard trails, quirking an eyebrow and slipping his hand down to your buttock and giving it a firm squeeze.

“Yes Doctor,” you amend.

“Good,” Leonard says, satisfied. “Now I want you to relax for me, darlin’. I’m going to lube you up.”

Your heart rate soars again at his words; you’ve never had anyone or anything inside of your ass before and the thought of his fingers there is equal parts maddeningly sexy and terrifying. You shift a little as you hear the snap of gloves behind you and shiver in anticipation. Moments later, Leonard’s hand lands back on your buttock and pulls it aside to expose your anus. You bite your lip and yelp quietly when you feel a cold dollop of lubricant land right on your opening.

“Deep breath,” Leonard instructs.

A few beats of silence and stillness go by and then you feel Leonard’s finger pressing gently, just barely, against your asshole. Making a conscious effort to relax as it circles, massaging the slick gel into your skin, you resign yourself to his ministrations. Your face flames in humiliation at being bent over so lewdly but you can feel yourself growing wet as his massage starts to feel good.

When his fingertip first dips inside just the smallest bit a few seconds later, you grasp the towel harder, the skin over your knuckles stretching taut from the effort. You know Leonard felt your tension mount when he pulls back a little, instead continuing the slow and methodical massaging for a little while longer.

Eventually you relax and when his finger slips inside once more you manage to stay still and at ease. He takes his time working it in, adding a drop of lube here and there as needed to keep you comfortable. The longer he spends fingering you, the more you start to wonder why you’d never tried anything anal before; it feels just as good as Leonard had promised it would.

So far, anyway.

“I think you’re ready,” Leonard murmurs. “You’re relaxing real quick here.”

You nod, resting your forehead on your crossed arms and biting your lip as his fingers slips free of you. His other hand stays put, though, holding your buttock aside as he picks up a large squeeze bottle with a long, thin nozzle screwed into the end of it. You shut your eyes tightly as he holds it aloft just over your backside, allowing a few drops to dribble from the tip of it and onto your skin. The water is warm, you’re relieved to feel, and you take a slow, steadying breath as you feel him poise the tip of the nozzle at your opening.

“Okay?” He asks.

“Yes,” you allow.

You inhale sharply as you feel him press forward and feel the nozzle slide in deep. It’s only a couple of inches, but it’s more than you’ve ever had inside of your ass before and it feels intense. It takes you a moment to adjust to it as the flared neck of the bottle comes to rest flush up against your opening and you squeeze involuntarily around the hard, unyielding plastic of the nozzle, feeling a twinge of arousal.

“Here comes the water, sugar,” Leonard warns.

Before you can even think to brace yourself, you feel a sudden flush of warmth somewhere deep inside of your belly. You rock involuntarily back against the nozzle and earn yourself a soft chuckle from Leonard. He lets go of your buttock, instead stroking his hand up along your spine as he continues squeezing the water into you with the other one. It’s a completely new and unique feeling, but it’s not unwelcome and perhaps even somewhat pleasant. The heat of the water spreads through you as more of it is instilled and you moan softly.

“Too much?” Leonard asks, easing off a little for a moment.

“No,” you say breathlessly. “It’s nice; it feels good.”

You can hear the smile in his voice.

“Glad to hear it,” he says. “Not much left to go, but if you take this one like a champ, I’ve got another ready for round two.”

You consider his words as he increases the pressure he’s applying to the squeeze bottle, filling you up with the rest of the small amount of fluid.

“Let me hold this one for a little?” You suggest. “So I can get used to it?”

“That’s the idea,” Leonard assures you with a chuckle. “There, all in.”

You groan quietly as you feel him withdraw the nozzle, leaving you missing the sensation of being penetrated. You shift your weight from one knee to the other a few times but you can’t feel the water sloshing around inside of you like you assumed you would be able to. Instead, you just feel a little full and very warm.

You tense a little when you feel Leonard’s fingers gently part your labia and slip in the moisture that’s collected there. As he eases one inside and brushes up against your g-spot, however, you let yourself enjoy the sensations the friction is creating. Between the water in your belly and the finger in your vagina, you feel an orgasm building quickly and you clench your fists to hold it back.

“I don’t want to spill!” You gasp. “Len, please!”

His rubbing against your g-spot slows and his free hand comes to land on your hip, squeezing it to help ground you a little.

“You’re doing fine,” he encourages. “You can hold it.”

You shake your head as a fine sheen of sweat breaks out across your skin, making it prickle with goose bumps. You’re very suddenly feeling the need to release the water and you shimmy forward, scarcely even noticing that Leonard’s finger has slipped from inside of you in your rush.

“I have to go!” You exclaim, clambering toward the edge of the bed; you’d known the feeling of needing to go was going to be intense, but you hadn’t quite imagined it to this degree.

As you move to stand, Leonard offers you a hand, gently steadying you as you get to your feet. He presses a hasty kiss to your forehead as you stride by him, making your way into the bathroom and shutting the door behind you.

When you emerge ten minutes later, you feel a little shaky from the emptying but also more turned on than you remember ever feeling before. You’re aching to feel more, and it’s with a coy expression that you make your way back over to the bed.

The sight of Leonard standing at the bedside and adjusting the height of an IV pole he’s very clearly purloined from the med bay – a pole with an impossibly large, full enema bag hanging from it – nearly stops your heart. You bite your lip as you approach him slowly, eyeing the setup. As you get close enough, Leonard steps in and wraps his arms around you from behind, splaying a hand on your abdomen and rubbing it gently.

“Ready for more?” He asks.

“Yes, Doctor,” you purr.

Leonard nods, dipping his head to press a kiss to your cheek before nudging you towards the bed.

“On your knees then, sweetheart,” he instructs.

You comply easily, assuming the same position you had been in earlier. It isn’t long before Leonard is standing just behind you, pulling on a fresh set of gloves and uncapping the lube. When he touches you a moment later, spreading your cheeks again just like the first time, you relax a lot more easily and though it’s only the second time you’ve ever allowed him to touch you like this it’s already familiar enough that you’re perfectly content as he presses a finger inside of your asshole to lubricate you.

As he switches out his finger for the enema tip, you realize that this nozzle is thicker than the last one and you feel a little thrill at the thought of it stretching you even more than his finger has. As he continues to push it forward it occurs to you that the nozzle is shaped like a plug, long and somewhat uncomfortably wide at its maximum diameter. The discomfort eases quickly, though, as it slides completely inside of you and seats itself with its flared base keeping your cheeks spread.

“I figured that might help you hold this one,” Leonard says softly, strong a hand over your buttock and pressing the plug just a fraction deeper with his thumb, making the tubing running through the center of it bounce a little, sending pleasurable little shocks through your core. “It’s going to be a big one; going to make your belly swell with all that water.”

“I want it,” you beg on a whim a moment later, turning your head a little so you can just see Leonard out of the periphery of your gaze. “Please, Len. I want to feel it.”

“How can I refuse when you beg so sweet, darlin’?” He says, pleased at the state he’s worked you up into.

Without any warning, Leonard reaches for the clamp on the tubing and releases it, allowing the flow to start. It’s intense, so much more intense than the first one, and you can’t help but moan as you immediately start to feel full. You’re about to ask him to slow the flow down a little when you feel a sudden release and realize that the water has started moving deeper inside of you. The feeling that you’re about to burst fades and is quickly replaced by a pleasant warmth and relaxation.

As the minutes creep by in silence, you focus on the growing heaviness in your belly and the way Leonard’s hands have begun to sweep in a gentle, soothing massage over your lower back, hips, and thighs. You can feel yourself growing full, the skin on your belly becoming taught from the strain of all of the water inside of you, and soon it starts to become uncomfortable.

“How much more?” You ask.

“You’ve got just under a third of the bag left,” Leonard replies. “You can do it, sweetheart.”

“I’m getting crampy,” you whine softly.

You gasp as you suddenly feel a brush up against your clit and realize it’s the inside of Len’s wrist as he reaches between your legs to splay his hand on your gently swollen belly. He carefully massages all over your abdomen, easing the cramping quickly and returning you to a state of comfort and arousal.

“Better?” He asks.

You nod and take a slow, deep breath as you feel his hand slip away. You can hear him moving around behind you and you glance over your shoulder as you feel him pat your hip a moment later.

“All done,” he announces with a smile. “You did great, darlin’.”

“I feel so full,” you breathe.

“I want you to hold it for a while,” Leonard insists softly. “But I can help take your mind off it; make it easier.”

“Yes, please,” you say.

You can hear the rustle of fabric behind you and you can only imagine he’s removing his boxers – the only remaining vestige of modesty he has remaining. You listen a little longer, hearing the tearing of a condom packet and the snap of the lid to the bottle of lubricant. Before long, you feel Leonard’s weight on the bed between your legs and your eyes widen as he lines the head of his cock up with your core.

“Going to make you feel even more full, darlin’,” he explains. “With that nozzle in your ass and all that water in your belly, my cock’s going to fit inside you nice and snug.”

You bite your lip as you feel him press forward, pushing just the tip of his cock into your wet and waiting pussy. It’s already more intense than anything you’ve ever felt before and you can’t help but let out a wordless cry as he pushes in deeper, filling you beyond your wildest imaginings. You clench around his cock, panting as you adjust to the stretch and squeeze.

“Fuck,” you hiss, reaching down to finger your clit, adding to the maelstrom of pleasure you’re already feeling.

“You’re so tight, angel,” Leonard growls. “Is it too much?”

His concern warms but doesn’t surprise you and you shake your head. Clearing your throat, you reassure him aloud.

“No,” you promise. “Just… go slow.”

And so he does.

At first, the thrusts are very slow and short, just teasing more than anything, allowing you to get accustomed to the feeling of having something in both of your orifices. As you start to respond, however, bucking your hips back and bringing your ass flush up against Len’s pelvis, he lengthens the thrusts, increasing his tempo and grabbing onto your hips for stability.

“Oh God,” you moan. “I’m going to spill, Len! I can’t hold it like this!”

“You’re going to be just fine, sugar, trust me,” he soothes, slowing his rhythm for just a moment. “I know how to take your body apart piece by piece and put it back together again, and I know that you’re not going to spill so much as a drop. Not with this in.”

He pointedly reaches out and presses on the plug-shaped nozzle in your ass. The movement of the smooth plastic against your stretched and spasming hole makes a shudder go through you and you know your orgasm is close. The tightening of everything inside of you as your climax draws nearer is amplified by your fullness and you’re powerless to stop the onslaught as Leonard starts to move in earnest again. The rasping of his cock against your g-spot combined with the rhythmic thrum of your fingers against your clit has starbursts popping behind your close eyelids and you gasp for air as your climax hits you.

You cry Leonard’s name as the spasming starts up and grip the sheets beneath you for dear life. All you can hear is the whoosh of your heartbeat in your ears, the sound in perfect synch with Leonard’s thrusts inside of you. Within moments he’s coming, too, and the suddenly erratic thrusting helps to bring you down a little bit. You feel like you’re going to burst but you stay still as he finishes, gritting your teeth as he finally slumps forward, pressing his forehead to the spot between your shoulder blades.

“I’ve got to go,” you rasp. “Now!”

Though he’s still loose and boneless in the wake of his own orgasm, your comfort is paramount and Leonard quickly slips out from inside of you and climbs to his feet. With one hand on your lower back to brace you, his other hand goes to the nozzle and grasps it firmly.

“Relax, darlin’,” he says roughly, his voice gravelly in the aftermath of his climax. “I’m going to pull this out and you can go on ahead.”

You nod frantically, breathing in short, staccato gasps as you feel him tugging on the nozzle. You wince a little as he pulls it out, the widest part of it stretching you deliciously before popping out with ease. The second it’s removed, you scramble of off the bed and all but run to the bathroom, closing the door behind you as you reach the toilet just in time.

The next twenty minutes are equal parts relief and living nightmare as you release the contents of the enema. It’s even more fluid than you thought and you’re weak and shaky by the time it’s finally over. Your groan of relief and flushing of the toilet attract Leonard’s attention from outside of the room and you hear a gentle knock on the door.

“Why don’t you get into the shower?” He suggests. “I’ll join you in a minute.”

It sounds like an amazing idea and you agree easily. Waiting a moment before standing to get your bearings, you pull a few extra fresh, fluffy towels out from under the sink and set them on the counter for afterward. Eventually, you get to your feet and step into the shower, pulling the glass door closed behind you and turning on the spray; real water, not the sonic jets that you usually use.

As the heat of the water eases any remaining tension in your muscles and washes away the prickle of sweat on your skin, you hardly notice Leonard climb into the shower with you until his arms wrap around you, his hands coming up to cup your breasts. His thumbs graze your nipples and you sag back against his chest, groaning contentedly.

“So what did you think?” He asks, dipping his head to press a kiss to the side of your neck.

“It was intense,” you summarize. “I think I’d like to try it again some time.”

“Yeah?” Leonard murmurs hopefully.

You nod, tipping your head to the size, nuzzling his cheek.

“There’s something else I’d like to try, too,” you continue slowly.

“What is it?” He asks as he pulls away a little, reaching for the soap.

You watch him as he pours a bit of it into his hands and works it through his fingers before reaching up to start lathering you up. The massage feels heavenly and you fall silent for several long moments, enjoying the sensation of his fingers on you.

“I want to feel your cock in my ass,” you say a few moments later, breaking the companionable silence.

Leonard’s massage doesn’t stop, but you can feel the wanton need radiating off him.

“You’re all nice and clean inside now, sweetheart,” he murmurs, suddenly pressed flush up against you again, sudsy hands trailing down your arms to grasp your wrists. “Do you think you can handle coming for me again?”

You feel lust coil in the pit of your belly at the thought of having him inside of your ass and even though you’re spent from the evening’s activities, you find your body ready and raring to go again in an instant. Nodding, you press your ass back against him, wiggling it just a little to rub at his heavy, slowly-hardening cock.

“Yes,” you say emphatically, dislodging his hands and leaning into the spray to wash off the soap so you’re not covered in slippery suds. “I’m ready, Len.”

He chuckles softly, leaning forward with you and settling his hands on your hips, pulling you back up against him even more. You can feel his cock stiffening and straining against your buttocks and you reach for the grab bar at the front of the shower. Originally designed in case the gravity failed while one was in the shower, it makes a great hand hold for sex, too, and you plan on making good use of it.

“Stay just like that for me, darlin’,” Leonard instructs, pulling open the shower door and quickly stepping out. “I’ll be right back.”

You watch him cross over to the medicine cabinet and roll on a condom before pulling out a bottle of lubricant different from the one he’d used in the bedroom. From its more viscous, silky texture you know it’s silicone-based and you groan inwardly at how good you know it’s going to feel on your asshole. You shift your weight from foot to foot as Leonard applies a generous amount of the lubricant to his cock and fingers, and you reach up to angle the showerhead down further as he makes his way back over to you.

Seconds later, Len is back in the stall with you and closing the door with his lube-free hand. You feel the other one brush the cleft between your cheeks and you reach back, pulling one cheek aside to give him better access.

“God damn, sweetheart,” Len growls. “You’re going to make me cum before I even have a chance to touch you if you keep that up.”

You flash him a coy smile and wiggle your hips a little to tease him.

“Now,” he says, slipping his fingers further into the cleft and pressing one up against your anus. “Let’s get you lubed up. Don’t want to hurt you, darlin’. Want to make you feel good.”

You nod and brace yourself, relaxing into his touch as one finger slips easily inside of you right up to the hilt. It feels good – so warm and vital – but it’s not enough. Leonard can tell you’re ready for more just by how comfortable and relaxed you are around his finger and he doesn’t leave you waiting for long before slipping a second one in alongside the first.

“You really are ready,” he says with a groan. “You’re going to feel so good on my cock. Going to take me nice and deep, aren’t you?”

“Yes, sir,” you rasp, letting go of your cheek so you can hold onto the grab bar with both hands again. “Please. I need you. Now.”

He’s usually the one giving orders, but in the state you’ve worked him into with your desperate pleading and your clenching around his penetrating fingers, he’s in no mood to argue or put you off any longer. Withdrawing his scissoring digits, leaving you empty and wanting, he steps in so his cock is probing at your opening. One hand goes to your hip and the other to his cock, guiding it slowly into you. As soon as his head slips inside, you let out a strangled cry of ecstasy and feel the blood rush to your head as arousal washes over you.

“I’m going to go slow, baby girl,” Leonard assures you. “Going to watch my cock disappear into you one inch at a time.”

You desperately want him to just get on with it already, but at the same time you’ve heard horror stories about people taking it too fast with anal – especially their first time – and so you’re happy to let him ease into it. So far it feels incredible and you don’t want anything in the world to change that.

You breathe slow and deep as he starts to push deeper, feeling your heart hammering in your rib cage as his cock presses forward, filling you up and stretching you more than you’ve ever felt before. The burn of the stretch is a little bit uncomfortable but far too exciting to be bothersome and it only adds to your arousal. The thought of Leonard’s cock entering your ass is dizzying and you grip the grab bar just a little bit harder to compensate for how weak in the knees you suddenly find yourself.

“I want you to film us sometime,” you blurt, unable to hold back the thought. “I want to watch you penetrating me.”

“Christ, sugar,” Leonard growls. “You’re going to kill me.”

You laugh softly, though it turns to a gasp a moment later as you feel him bottom out inside of you, his pelvis flush against your backside. Reaching back, you run your fingers over the spot where the two of you are joined, groaning at how taut you feel around him. Leonard echoes the noise with one of his own as he runs both hands up your sides to cup your breasts. He pinches at your nipples gently, just enough to send a shock of arousal through you as he allows you to get used to having him inside.

“You can move, Len,” you grind out after a minute or two of stillness. “You’re not going to break me.”

Leonard gives no indication that he’s heard you until you feel him pulling back a moment later. The sensation of friction is incredibly sexy and you cant your hips forward a little to speed him along. You’re desperate to increase the pace, to feel the drag of his cock against your sensitive walls. Submitting completely, you drop your shoulders so that your ass is well presented, all the while keeping your hands on the grab bar to keep the two of you stable.

You realize that Leonard needs no more encouragement as he starts to thrust. It’s a leisurely in and out at first, comfortable but teasing, though it quickly becomes so much more. It’s wildly different from having him in your pussy and it feels incredible. The lubricant makes the slide of flesh on flesh effortless and heightens the sensation. Leonard’s harsh breaths and groans of ecstasy only add to the rush and it’s all you can do to grit your teeth so that you don’t splinter apart in a climax just yet; you want this to go on forever.

You aren’t sure how long it goes on as the thrusts become raw, carnal. All you know is that you’ve never felt a climax as big as the one you have building coming before. Your legs are shaking from the effort it’s taking not to come apart at the seams and you’re sure Leonard can feel the thundering of your heartbeat against the palm he’s got beneath your breast.

One more deep, hard thrust and it’s all you can take. You scream Leonard’s name as you tip over the precipice, climaxing so hard you can barely breathe. The shower water has long since gone cold but your skin feels like it’s on fire as you spasm around Leonard’s cock, thankful for the support he’s providing with his grip on your ribcage.

As your orgasm rages on, you can feel Leonard’s cock thickening inside of you and within second you’re coming together. You wish you could feel him coming inside of you without the condom, feel him filling you to the brim with his seed, but for this time just the feelings of his hips bucking against you and his fingers gripping your skin almost too tightly have to suffice.

As the two of you come down you sag, your grip on the grab bars slipping and nearly sending you sprawling if not for Leonard’s hands on you. He rights you easily, holding you tight against his chest until you can find your balance. As he shifts so that you’re out of the cold spray, his cock slips from inside of you and you hiss at how sensitive you’re left in its wake.

“Alright?” He asks softly.

“Yeah,” you reply, smiling tiredly, satiety clearly evident on your face. “I’m fine.”

Leonard nods and loosens his hold on you as you pull away, giving you the chance to lean forward and turn off the water. The two of you take your time stepping out of the shower, and you luxuriate in Leonard’s hands on you as he carefully towels you off. The room air is cool on your post-coitally warm skin as you step into the bedroom and you order the computer to increase the temperature just a little, and you can’t help but smile as you catch sight of the now-empty enema bag hanging on the IV stand beside the bed.

“Scotty’s going to have a fit when he sees we’ve maxed out my weekly water allowance,” Leonard says wryly as he steps up behind you and places his hands on your shoulders. “What am I going to tell him?”

“The truth,” you tease with a wink over your shoulder. “He’ll never question it again.”

Leonard barks out a laugh as he steers you toward the bed and ushers you in under the covers. You sigh contentedly as he climbs in next to you and turns out the lights before shifting around so that you can lie on his chest. He rubs a hand up and down along your back as you lay your ear next to his heartbeat and let it lull you into a state of total relaxation.

“Did you really have a good time tonight?” Leonard asks in the otherwise comfortable silence.

Turning your head a little, you press a gentle kiss to his pec before going right back to listening to his heartbeat to help reassure him.

“I did,” you promise. “And I can’t wait to do it again some time.”

You can feel a tension you didn’t even realize was there leave Leonard’s body as he pulls you in just a little closer, just a little tighter.

“I’m so glad,” he whispers. “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Len,” you reply.

Leonard drifts off to sleep very quickly afterward, but you lay awake for a little while listening to his soft snores and enjoying the clean and empty feeling inside the enemas have left you with. When you do finally doze off, it’s to fantasies of all of the other kinds of things you’re desperate to try now that you’ve had a taste of how good doing something unconventional can be.

Click here to see my masterlist!

#Star Trek AOS #Leonard McCoy #reader insert #lemon #fanfiction

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teanaoverton · 6 years ago

Text

still swimming.

i thought the first year of law school was suppose to be the toughest. that was not the case for me.

this past semester, the first of my 2L year was the most trying experience of my life. and sheesh, i have dealt with a lot of experiences.

before we go any further, i think its important to tell you a little about myself and warn you of some contents that this post will contain.

i am brutally honest. i dont believe in sugar coating the truth, and so i wont. this post may be triggering to anyone who has every experienced sexual assault and/or sexual harassment. this post is my truth. and if you havent noticed by now, i do not like capital letters or formal punctuation. and i also cant spell.

anyway, back to the story.

the beginning of the semester started off rocky. i worked for my school and assisted with many task including orientation for the first year students and the title ix policy updates (thanks betsy *eyeroll*).

unfortunately, i had to use that title ix policy.

at the end of july, my key card to get in and out of my school’s parking deck was not working properly. i expressed my concern to a security officer. instead of walking to the gate, he walked with me to the parking deck and followed me to my car. we were the only two in the parking deck.

while at my car, he asked me on a date. i was not interested in the slightest. but hey, im a girl all alone in the parking deck with a security guard. i had just heard about a woman getting killed for rejecting a man. and i sure tf have no lived enough to die. so i told him that school was starting soon and i did not have time. smooth escape i thought. and i also thought that would be it, i was wrong.

the next week, i left the second floor (where i worked) to go downstairs and get a snack from the vending machines. he saw me and ran to try and pay for my snack, thoughtful gesture, but i refused as i did not want to lead him on. he then followed me to the elevators and handed me a note with his number on it.

i had to cross paths with him to get to work, and he would make comments to me. once in particular troubled me.“you dont work on wednesdays, we could go out on a wednesday.” and that is when a red flag went off for me.

why do you know my work schedule? ive already said i wasnt interest, why are you still actively pursing me? so i told my friend/co-worker about the interactions and asked her to walk me to my car.

while working late one evening, he came to the suite and started talking and staring. it was after hours and he was no longer on the clock. the other security officer on duty was probably home with his feet kicked up by this hour. instead of doing the same... he came to “see what was going on.” being aware of the situation and that i was uncomfortable, my friend engaged in the conversation so i didnt have to. bless her.

during orientation, we had leftover food. my boss at the time asked me to take some to the security officers. my friend and i locked eyes knowing i sure tf was not about to lead this man on by any means. so, that is when i told my boss at the time that i was good off doing that. if you know who my boss was, you know she will get the truth out of you.

one thing lead to another and boom, the incidents were reported to HR. who i was required to meet with. during the first week of classes, i met both HR and my boss to reassure them that i was not looking to get a black man fired, i just wanted to be left alone.

time went by, nothing happened. i still was uncomfortable passing the security desk. i would have friends walk with me to the car so i wouldnt be alone bc guess who did rounds in the parking deck, yeah. you guessed it, him.

unfortunately, my request was not fulfilled. he did not leave me alone. i was required to do a tabling event for work. guess where that tabling event was? right across from the security desk. gr8!!! he looked at me and loudly started saying "i shouldn't have to come to work and be uncomfortable.” he said this several times, causing others in the area to look and see what was going on.

again, the tabling event was for work (different job btw). i was sitting next to my boss who was unaware of the previous interactions. she too asked “why is he screaming like that?”

i sat there in shock. in silence. and on the clock, so i couldnt leave.

why. should. he. have. to. come. to. work. and. feel. uncomfortable.

that was it, my breaking point. i felt unsafe. i expressed my concerns to the appropriate parties. eventually time went on and he was transferred.

shortly after, repressed memories of my childhood rape surfaced during a therapy session. along with many thoughts: was i over exaggerating? did i lead him on in anyway? could i have done more to let him know i wasnt interested before reporting the incidents? was this my fault?

guilt.

i lost track of what was happening in real life because i was so distracted by the thoughts in my head. but as soon as i gained back some control, real life hit me again. my legal writing assignment had been posted. and guess what the topic was? sexual harassment in the work place.

you mean to tell me, i have to do research, write a brief, and have an oral argument about sexual harassment? shit, someone call my therapist.

i wrote some shit on some paper. and that was that. what was happening in my classes? no clue. what was happening in my life? no clue. what was going on in the world? no clue.

i got lost again.

i just wanted to float and let the current carry me for awhile. i wanted to watch the clouds chase each other into different corners of the sky like freed kites who never worry about the meaning of away. i wanted to float. ive been swimming so long.

but my thoughts eventually had an off switch and i was good again. then guess what?

kavanaugh.

here we fucking go again.

the student body president signed an aba petition to conduct an impartial hearing on kav. and for some reason, some students were pissed. so they took it upon themselves to write a petition to have the sba president remove his name from the aba petition and issue an apology.

i need you to pay very close attention for this part.

i sat in class triggered. surrounded by people signing this petition while tears poured down my face. how fucking disgusting are you people.

now the only reason i know what the petition actual was is because i am in sba. otherwise, i would have no clue it ever existed. want to know why? because the students who wrote the petition never asked me to sign it. trust me, i am not offended. in fact, im honored that they knew better than to bring some bullshit like that to me. but what was upsetting, when another student asked what was going on (why everyone was gathered looking at the petition), the authors of it said “we’re just looking at some stuff about aba accreditation.”

baby, if you gonna talk about it. be about it. smh.

the petition surfaced. and the names on it, wow. people i looked up to. people i considered role models. women who are allegedly advocates for women. women in general. even a few self-proclaimed feminist.

wow. the names.

so many people who have reached out to me when i told my story about being raped as a child. so many people i believed would be there for me if i asked for help dealing with the recent sexual harassment. so many frauds.

their names, they were on it. big and bold.

i didnt want to float anymore. i wanted to drown.

i was suffering. isolating myself from everyone. i did the absolute bare minimum. i distanced myself from my family, my friends, from everyone around me.

i didnt read for any of my classes. i stopped caring. i had thoughts about dropping out of school. i still have the withdrawal email in my draft.

i want to give someone credit for helping me through this, but i cant. this ocean, its so big. but hell, i havent drowned yet.

meanwhile, im still swimming.

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moomoof · 6 years ago

Text

Stop it.

I was friends with this person for almost 2 years and it the last few months it turned into a toxic relationship.

We used to do hangouts and talk about issues we cared about on his channel but i found myself not being comfortable with some of the topics

but if i ever voiced i didn’t want to do the show he would keep pushing the issue and i was weak to put a stop to it.

That’s not to say i didn’t enjoy the shows cause i did buti didn’t want ot do them all the time .

The problems started with our view points really

I personally feel like he hid his real views out of fear of being abandoned or maybe he just posed as a liberal to ge friends who knows this is all speculation on my part after thoughts .

This post is just to let out all my angst and frustration.

I didn’t handle the last encounter withh im well i should’ve just said what i wanted and left i hoped he would understand but what scared me was his reactions again i wanted out of his show at least for a little bit

i would suggest he find other ppl he would pick up on the hints ...

i was going though a rough patch with my health and i had no energy what’s so ever i didn’t want to disappoint him so

..i told him straight up i couldn’t do it to get our mutual friend and o it with him he seemed annoyed at least in text

i didn’t speak with him directly then i saw the show live with our friend and ..

his reaction to my illness was annoyance he was like she’s off ill or

whatever the hell hshe has with the biggest eye rool i ever seen

...and then even if i told him multiple times

i was ill i did'nt want to talk he tried to force me by calling my hangout

...and he was rude to our friend cause i suspect he was jealous of our friend or annoyed

that our friend was trying out his own show i don’t think my friend picked up on this

He lied about how his old friends broke up with him

Of course i believed him ....well actually no for a while now i wasn't believing him cause he lied or omitted things i found them out on my own.

That's the heart of the issue it was a slow crawl but i woke up and wasn't going to be used by him.

Like i was saying i was sick he didn't care i told him i can really do this show cause i have things to do or i honestly didn't want to i told him that once but... a disturbing patterned emerged with him. No matter what i said or did he would act like i didn't say it and want his way. In the long run i got anxious around him any time i had an opinion he will shoot it down i couldn't express myself on my twitter feed without him screaming at me and somehow making me feel dumb.

I told him on many occasions i was emotionally abused and physically abused nothing. He of course said he was there for me to chat but i don't like talking about that stuff to ppl. But i suspect it was an empty gesture put there to pretend to be a good friend but in the end he wanted just a person to speak to cause he had issues but also he would use those issues against you. one year ago he said something awful or something like that and i disagreed true i got heated he screamed when that didn't work then he play oop i'm anxious card that then played with others and me for ever more.

He had to be right all the time. He had that stupid internet idea that if you don't have evidence of what you are speaking then you are wrong! or shut up even tho i never really went to his feed after a while cause i was tired of arguing.

He enjoyed arguing.

Then the big event that woke me up.

We were arguing about jill stien or third party voters actually i was talking about it on my feed and he shoved his opinion in my face....

yelled at me then i tried to be funny and say get with the program! with the clapping emojis

He flipped a switch and said i was stupid by saying oh you think i'm dumb? really? ok then your writing skills are mediocre at best or worse actually. (yes i am aware my writing is terrible) but a personal attack like that for no reason hit me hard.

He just...went to that , that's what he thought about me ...i suposedly let go but it churned for days i have very low selfesteem it took me years to get out of a dark head space. He knocked me down. He hates everything i am cause i do agree with him. That was my head space the next few days i wrote warnings but didn't name him. 3 changes and then i block you don't care you are my friend if you hurt me and put me in a dark space i am cutting you off. He got weirder with me hostile almost after then we butted heads and we airred things but i somehow had an inkling it wasn't safe to talk in the dms i talked in public ...it was weird i suggested we should take a break i wanted it so badly....he said no... and i caved and went back to the same shit different day. Then the last draw happened

I hate susan sarandon's white feminism i fucking hate it i hate her i hate that she cares three fucks about what she created

He has this weird white knighty behavior that he will attack you for talking shit about his favorite ppl.

He also probably felt personally attacked he thinks i somehow am talking about him all time.

We got heated i was already tired of his shit i started to withdraw from our supposed friendship. Then he did it...he attacked my identiy aka my puerto rican ness and added hillary to it he later deleted it. So he can claim he didn't know what he did to cause my silence but more on that later. He knew that after Maria the hurricane i lost family i wasn't connected to the for weeks i had to worry aobut their well being for months without being able to do nothing ...i was a wreck for months he knew i told him, it was on his show too ( he since deleted all of them GOOD!) I did not deserve this more over i had a very hard anniversary coming up as well not to mention it was september ( still is) i lost my cousin and everythign that i knew as my world this month and it was Maria's anniversary. He just threw it in my fave he used my pain to win a stupid internet argument. I decided to ignore him for a week or so until i can figure out what to do with him, talk to him again, stop talking to him so often but still be friends or completely run away in fear.

I could not speak to him it hurt it really hurt he used my pain against me i could not trust him....and the silent treatment happened.

The next day he acted like nothing happened and asked me if i was ready to talk about gay muppets like nothing happened ( the whole bert and ernie incident) that scared me ....he acted like everything was ok ...it wasn't it could be clear for anyone that it wasn't...

i muted his feed and muted him but twitter doesn't understand that maybe ppl want not to get notification from a follower or person you are following for a bit...

He kept liking my stuff in the hopes i would be happy? this is speculation on my part...

He commented on my posts to see if i would bite.

i ignored him hoping he would get it i muted hangouts cause i feared he might call

i had growing fear my heart would race thinking he was there replying liking and dming me...

This might sound dumb but ...it isn't it is harassment...

His former friends mentioned this he would use his second account to spy on them months after the fact they blocked and left him behind..that should've warned me.

He would mention them a lot. Like i said earlier i believed them but i didnt let on to him that i suspected something happened...at first i thought well they should've told him why and then block him and during the a conversation he did something and they didn't likee it's normal ...let it go ..in my head... i nodged him to write it out and let it go in a nicer way.

But he was controlling i saw it when he hated when friends posted somethign he would scream about it...

They mentioned that they felt free from his smug behavior that he would not value their opionions and then later one of his ex friends said it wasn't the change the channel movement but the how he held certain views on gamer gate..when i voiced my own he screamed at me cause he felt like he knew better and how dare you think otherwise!

He would go into these rage fits over this topic, if you didn't agree with him , eye roll

condescenion and disdain. This was the topic which lied about and the ppl he lied about or omitted it cause if he didn't he could push his narrative which was that gamer gate was a good movement ...by ignoring all the misogyny and abusive behavior cause he hated ppl on the attacked side. He hated that todd in the shadows blocked him for saying awful things about his friend. He kept on and on about that...like it was a bad thing...

He believed a group of rapey men that wanted a transgender woman to die and claimed she raped her sister... i will not go further into this.

I put my feelings on that forward he would probably be annoyed in his head about it..whatever.

He hated lindsay ellis cause she liked the tweet that told him off for harassing todd and his friend..

Sorry to his ex friends for my words about them cause i believed him for the most part and i did care about him i wanted ot make him feel better.

i was wrong i fed a monster.

I wanted a week of peace away from him ...didn't happen he kept on and kept on ...he even got our mutual friend involved and lied .... he lied he said to him oh she's angry at me cause i don't know i did something wrong i am worried about her ...she's sad about stuff and the world is a bad place blah blah making me sound like the problem...

remember our mutual friend can't really pick up on these things

He asked i just told him not to be dragged into this cause i was pissed off

then i said it was nothing i was fine. and i moved on and ignored him some more...

He kept going ...

Then finally he did th final final thing and made up my mind for me.

He tried to guilt trip me into being his friend again or even to talk to him it scared me ...i blocked him completely on everything

he said you are hurting...me

me?! i hurt him what? he hurt me he didn't care and he dares to accuse me of something i never did so he can look like victim yet again!

That pissed the shit outta me i got tired of his toxic domineering personality

He wanted to control you by making you feel bad about challeging him on his views about having my own views for breathing for not wanting to do the thing he wanted on the day he wanted ...

him not caring about my illness really hurt me... he hurt me and i still have the anxeity and have it in my head his words ....i want it gone...so i wrote this to stop it!

He was not worth it...he's a bad person toxic it's not your fault...

I reached out to one of his ex friends i needed reasurance ...i needed to know i wasn't crazy and seeing something that wasn't there ....now its over i want never to ever see him or talk to him again.

I recount times were he said awful things like ugh when my face showed up on the hangouts ...like my face is ugly...

i took pictures he would say geez or something like that ignored it..

he laughed at my lack of furniture or equipment..to do audio work...

He even got super hostile with me when our mutual was with us...cause i didn't agree with him ...

I wrote a memorial for my cousin and he sullied it by commenting on it moments after he hurt me like a psycho...

Now i know why he kept trying to bring up his friends cause i interacted with mutuals he wanted to know if they told me about him...and for weeks i struggled to find out by asking them but i never did...

He is disturbed i am stupid for allowing it to continue to this point i don't know how far he would've taken it but my psyche could not take it anymore...

He even made fun of my drinking

it was a terrible idea to engage with him but i honestly thought he was a someone else like a person i watched turned out he wasn't he was using an account to get ppl to like him then he change later i guess...

Maybe i'm wrong maybe he isn't all bad just immature but i don't care he scares me and hurt me...sorry for this post but i need it out of me

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laurelaiwingates-a · 7 years ago

Text

|| A rose in her hair...

|| co-written with @missbarrow

Leonie pulled the rose Johannes had placed in her hair and returned his gaze albeit none too impressed

"...what are you doing?"

In answer, he bit his lower lip and smiled in a way that was more characteristic of his older brother than himself.

"I thought I would surprise you. Are you surprised?"

"Im not sure suprised is the right word for it. .."

What is the word?" His voice was a seductive purr, and he rose from his perch upon the desk to slowly back Leonie against the wall. There, leaning down, he whispered in her ear:

"Excited?"

"Errr..." she tried to hold him at arm’s length. "More like...confused. What's gotten into you?"

"He isn't me." Horst said in a dry tone, standing in the doorway. The tall vampire looked phenomenally unimpressed.

At that, Johannes frowned and turned. "You alway have to ruin the fun, don't you?"

"This is not what I would call fun."

Leonie’s eyes flashed to Horst and then back to Johannes, her mind working double time.

"......Horst?"

Johannes' mouth spread in that unmistakable, lopsided grin. "Surprise?" he stepped back, blushing as he ran a hand back through close-cropped hair. "What gave me away?"

"The fact that I would never conduct myself so shamelessly!" The vampire in the doorway snapped. "Just like I would never burn incense that isn't mine!"

"Horst!?" Leonie scolded, shoving him hard. She would have slapped him. But couldn't bring herself to strike Johannes' face when johannes himself had done no wrong.

"What kind of sick game was that?" she hissed.

Horst (in his brother's body) stumbled back in an ungainly manner as he was shoved, though he had the good manners to at least look ashamed. He sat down.

"I was only trying to have a spot of fun. I didn't mean anything by it." He said sullenly.

"I'm sure you didn't." Johannes growled, narrowing his eyes. Unused to being a vampire, he had to concentrate to control certain urges. "Was he being untoward?" he asked in a growl.

She glared at Horst a moment longer before replying.

".....I think he was just enjoying a moments silliness in living flesh...." she said slowly. "He's fine."

Leonie crossed over to Johannes to take a closer look at him in his brother's flesh.

Horst really had no intention of doing anything wrong, but he dare not speak up again, watching silently.

Johannes caught Leonie's scent as she came closer; senses attuned to the throb of her living heart. Thirst rose in his throat, and he repressed it- blue eyes familiar and sad as he returned her gaze.

"Hello, Löwenmädchen," he whispered. "I seem to have made a miscalculation.."

Leonie looked deep into his eyes, her own hues widening in horror and recognition. "Oh god. ...its really you in there isn't it?"

She took a small step back. "What miscalculation? "

Johannes chest ached in a metaphysical way- wanting to reassure Leonie but being afraid to touch her.

"He means he buggered up his ritual." Horst said, leaning back in his seat.

"Now we're stuck like this until the next full moon."

"The next....!?" She spun around the look back at Horst.

"But...that’s weeks away!"

"It was an accident." Horst again looked apologetic, blushing in shame. "I might have popped in at a bad time.."

"At the worst possible time." Johannes corrected in a low tone. "I intend to spend every minute I can looking for an earlier solution."

"....what you going to do about about feeding?" Leonie asked, jumping straight to the practical questions

Johannes blinked, having obviously not thought about that fact. His frown deepened. "I will have to make arrangements."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Horst looked confused. "It isn't a simple matter like popping out to Tescos."

"You have to go with him." Leonie’s eyes shot back to Horst. "You have to teach him. Help him...."

Horst nodded gravely, tucking his hands into his pockets as he stood.

"Verdammnt schiße! The sun!" Johannes had another realization, looking pained. "This is untenable!"

"Oh, you noticed." Horst said wryly.

"It's ok, you'll be safe so long as you're back here before dawn..." Leonie tried to reassure him.

"Half of my time is gone!" Johannes was having a hard time containing his ire with the thirst gnawing at his insides. With a small gust of air, the space he had previously occupied became vacant.

Horst jumped, slightly startled by the sudden movement. He sighed, looking at Leonie worriedly. "Any idea where he might have gone?"

"Your guess is as good as mine...." she looked at the space which Johannes had only just occupied. "I just hope he doesn't hurt anyone. Or himself....I doubt he knows his own strength in that body....."

"I can assure you that he doesn't. It's strange.. how weak I feel." Horst sighed and leaned against Leonie's desk, but offered her a small smile.

"I really missed it."

Leonie turned around to face Horst again. still unsettled by how he filled out Johannes body. He looked a little tense. Cramped. Horst had a good few inches on Cabal, Leonie wondered how it must feel to be crammed in a smaller body.

"Why did you do that? earlier?" she nodded at the rose on the desk, "and just how far did you think you could get?"

Horst was lost in his thoughts when Leonie voiced her question. He looked up, his expression turning into a small, embarrassed smile.

"I was just playing around, Leo. At most I might have stolen a kiss, but I didn't mean anything serious by it." I know you aren't interested in me.

She gave him that look of hers. A special look she had perfected purely for the Cabal family. it said, 'You're impossible. I don't believe you....'

"If you wanted a kiss that badly you should have known acting so out of character would arouse my suspicion. You'd have had better luck pretended to be more like the arsehole I know him to be...."

Horst offered that lopsided smile that was so characteristic of him, his cheeks turning red.

"I could never be so rude to a lady," he said sheepishly. "I'm sorry if I offended you."

"I'm not entirely sure its me you should be apologising to." She looked again at the spot where Johannes had disappeared.

"Do you think he's likely to do anything stupid?” Leonie asked.

Horst sighed, his expression turning to worry as he followed her gaze. He ran a hand back through close-cropped hair, leaning back as he sat back down in Leonie’s chair..

"I messed up pretty bad, didn't I?" he said quietly. "He's probably in his lab. You know how he is.."

Leonie sat down on her desk and sighed. "I'd say you're both rather adept at cockups on the spectacular level...." She glanced at the ceiling as if she might see through the floorboards.

"He probably wants me to go after him...” she continued. “But I think I’ll wait till he's cooled his head a little,"

Horst sighed and leaned back in the chair, feeling stifled and uncomfortable for some reason he couldn't quite place. He looked up at the ceiling with a small frown.

“He's overwhelmed. The volume of the entire world was just cranked up, and he's a thirsting man in a sea of temptation. Space will do him good while he adjusts."

Then his stomach made a loud noise of hunger, his expression turning to surprise.

Leonie looked back down at Horst and smiled.

"That stomach must be empty. He won’t have eaten since lunch...kitchen?"

Horst's smile was infectious, and he practically bounced out of his seat.

"Do we have cake? Oh! What about beer? I've been dying for a lager and a packet of crisps!"

Leonie laughed heartily.

"Perhaps not the best choice of words?"

She slid off the desk and looked thoughtful.

"We have a few things in the kitchen. But....given the unusual circumstances, I suppose you should enjoy the opportunity offered you...we could go out? There’s a beautiful little restaurant not far from here. Excellent dessert trolley...."

- ☠ -

Johannes temper had calmed during the time Horst and Leonie spent together. Stymied by the magical problem, he now paced his attic laboratory and did his best to ignore the constant thirst.

A little tipsy, Leonie and Horst returned late.

Far more drunk than was probably proper, but enjoying every moment, Horst flopped down on the couch.

After giggling and shushing up the street, a sombreness washed over Leonie as they entered the house. Knowing she should speak to Johannes before the the sun banished him to the basement, she knocked on his attic door.

"You went drinking." Johannes said from his desk- it wasn't a question, he could smell it.

"Please tell me he did not make a fool of himself in my body."

"We looked like a very normal happy couple. He was so charming the owner gave us a second bottle of wine on the house. You should be pleased. He's probably done wonders for your reputation. ..."

She stepped towards him and tried not to stagger. "...how are you?"

"My reputation? Perhaps I should be more concerned about my relationship." Johannes kept his distance, his features knit with hurt. Still, when he saw how unsteady Leonie was, he was at her side in the blink of an eye.

"I am trapped in my brother's body because he decided that he could not resist playing peek-a-boo." he sighed.

Leonie jumped as he caught her, being that he moved too quickly for her to see. "Don't do that...! It freaks me out...." she steadied herself and held him at arm's length. "What were you even trying to do to warrant a... switch like this anyway? No. on second thought don't tell me. I'm too drunk to understand anyway...."

She frowned at him slightly. "Don't you trust your brother? don't you trust me?"

"This wasn't the intent of the ritual! Transmogrification in Latin are sensitive arts!" Johannes looked pained at having frightened Leonie, his cool touch withdrawing.

"I don't know if I trust him. He tried to kiss you. I did not think my trust in you was ever in question."

"He was giddy on humanity. surely you can forgive him? He wouldn't have really tried anything...he was just...getting a feel of things." Leonie paused, her drunk brain not following the same logic or censoring her sober mind would.

"If I kiss you in Horst's body.... is that cheating?"

Johannes was trying very hard not to look like a kicked puppy, and was failing miserably. If his brother was giddy, he had dipped into the utmost lows of melancholy. Leonie was drunk after gallivanting with his brother, and he was having a hard time resisting the call of her warmth and scent.

"You wouldn't be kissing me." he sounded quietly pained, caressing her cheek. "I am going to fix this."

"But...you're the one moving those lips and working that brain...." She shuddered slightly at the coolness of his fingers. "And I can't kiss Horst. Even though I want to, because even though he looks like you, it’s not you, and.... oh this is making my head spin....." Her face fell into a distinct sulk,

"I'm so confused." she whispered.

"Right now, in this body, I'm Johannes. It wouldn't be 'kissing Horst' if we did kiss right now. That's all I'm saying." Johannes felt that tremor run through Leonie, and it hurt him in a deep way that left him with an intense longing.

Turning away, he squeezed his eyes closed.

"You should go to bed. I have work to do." for the briefest of moments, her lip wobbled. but steadied her face almost immediately.

"Alright. I.... I'll see you tomorrow night then," and quietly she walked out the door and returned to the parlour.

Keeping his back turned and his head bowed, Johannes tried to wall himself off from his metaphysical suffering. Only after Leonie was gone did the shaking of his shoulders give him away.

Upon seeing Johannes body relaxed and splayed out upon the sofa, Leonie felt her stomach do a funny flip, and she slumped down next to him, enjoying the warmth of another living body.

Having discovered that his younger brother possessed little tolerance for spirits, Horst was enjoying his intoxication. His legs seemed to have turned into pudding, and he had begun to doze off when Leonie curled up against his side.

"I really missed feeling warm," he murmured, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. She smelled good, but it wasn't his hunger that was enticed when he nuzzled into soft, tawny curls.

"And brandy.. Mein Gott, I had forgotten!"

"This is rubbish...." she muttered burying her face against his side. As she sighed his scent filled her nose. He still smelt like Johannes, and in her intoxicated state it made her ache.

"I mean, not for you Horst, you deserve all the warmth and brandy in the world.... speaking of which..." She kicked off her shoes and padded over to the liquor cabinet, returning with two generous measures in large snifter glasses.

"I just..... I want you both to be happy. Always. Happy and human...." Leonie took a large swig and winced.

"What's rubbish? What happened?" Horst frowned and stroked Leonie's hair, allowing her to pull away when she wished. His thoughts were sluggish and muddled, and he couldn't quite follow what she meant.

"Yeah, I'd really like that too." he lay down with his head in her lap, his drink held balanced on his chest. "I've missed so much.. Maybe this is it, though. Maybe now he'll find a way."

Leonie pulled her fingers gently through his short blond hair and gave another small sigh.

"He will. somehow. Eventually. He will,"

A moments lapse in concentration, forgetting who was laid in her lap, she bent over and kissed his forehead tenderly.

Closing his eyes, Horst breathed a sigh at her gentle caress. It had been so long since he had experienced any sort of intimacy that he found himself experiencing an intense longing for more.

His heart leapt and began to race at her kiss- his eyes opening to gaze up at her as he cupped her cheek with warm fingers.

A long moment passed where Horst was only aware of the racing of his heart and the silken warmth of Leonie's skin.

Then he kissed her.

A small noise of pleasure caught in Leonie's throat as he stole a kiss. But she had been desperate for his lips against hers, and so without pause for thought she kissed him back, hers hands slowly closing around the face she knew so well.

He tasted of brandy and warmth, and smelled faintly of incense. To all her external senses, he was purely Johannes....

Too drunk to resist long-repressed urges, overwhelmed by the desire to touch and be touched, Horst breathed in Leonie's breath as she returned his kiss. Without thought, he rose to wrap her into his arms- old skills long unused rising with each passionate press of his lips.

Oh but his embrace was warm and loving, and as the heat rose between them the scent of his skin intoxicated her dulled senses further. Her hands moved of their own accord, they had mapped this body with caresses so many times, they knew the way, sliding unbidden under the crisp white cotton shirt to press and feel the pale naked flesh beneath.

Leonie practically purred with pleasure as she melted against him.

It had been so long since Horst had felt another's touch, he quite lost himself in the sweetness of Leonie's lips. As her hands slipped beneath his shirt, he breathed a sigh and pulled her more closely against him.

She was all warmth and softness, and Horst quickly found himself experiencing physical arousal for the first time in a decade.

She gasped against his lips as he held her so tight. Her mouth moving from his to trace his jawline, the shell of his ear. She could feel him grow hard against her hip, and her teeth tugged at his earlobe as she growled with desire.

Horst smiled and buried his face in the curve of Leonie's neck with a groan, pressing himself against her hip. He all but pawed at her skirts- his fingertips just reaching her warm inner thighs when she spoke:

"Johannes,"

Horst froze, pulling back to look at her with a confused frown.

Her hands were sliding over his body, just about to disappear into the fabric of his trouser, her body flushed with the heat of desire, her breath shortening to a needy pant when...

"Horst," he whispered.

She froze. Her hands stuck to his skin. She sank back. The colour draining from her flushed face. Her ruddy mouth slack and lacking words. "I....."

"It's not me that you want." Horst said quietly, sitting back with a look of rejection. Still drunk, he tried to fix Leonie's rumpled skirts. "It's alright, I shouldn't have.."

Her head began to pound and her loins still ached to be touched. everything was wrong, everything was backwards.

"I don’t know what I want. I don't know what's going on...." she pulled her hand through her hair roughly. "I don't want to be ignored...."

Horst's gaze lingered on Leonie's creamy thighs, rising along her figure to meet her eyes. Full of brandy and aching with arousal for her, it was hard for him to think.

"I could never ignore you, Leo," he breathed, leaning towards her without realizing it. "I have always wanted you.."

She found herself leaning back against the arm of the sofa as Horst closed the distance between them and her heart began to race again. The look on that face, the words coming from that mouth.... Lord how she wanted him. And yet knowing it was Horst behind those eyes sent her into turmoil. "Johannes... Horst " she corrected herself. "Oh god. I shouldn't be here. If I can't control myself I shouldn't be be here.…" Leonie pushed Horst away and fled the couch- flustered as she went to fetch her jacket from the hall.

Horst watched in stunned silence, unable to form words or even thoughts- what had he done?

“Leo, wait- Leo, I’m sorry!” he said, standing, but it was too late- Leonie had already left.

#missbarrow #♥: Smile When You Whisper #|| flashbacks #|| Before The Breakup #|| save tag #|| drabble

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rizuno · 8 years ago

Note

Write me a ficlet about Stiles finding random love poems/notes written on little scraps of paper stuffed in weird places, like between the seats in the Jeep, in the pockets of hoodie he swore he just washed so how could there be intact paper in there, in his shoes, under his pillow. Who is writing all these notes and how do they keep randomly appearing on Stiles person!?!?!

This is unbeta-d, and I am subjecting you dear reader(s?) to poetry written by me masquerading as English!Major Derek Hale. BASICALLY I’m SORRY ABOUT THE CRAP POETRY OK. also im really fuckin pissed off about the spacing of the poems but tumblr is adamant about pretending to not know what the fuck im trying to do when i try and reformat it i need to stop before i just delete this whole post in a fit of RAGE

For RachelBBY

Scraps

The first time it happens, Stiles doesn’t think anything of it. He figures he just wrote it himself in English and then forgot. It’s just a neglected scrap of paper hiding amidst other papers under his desk, sacrificed on the altar of a weekly allowance with everything else he throws out as he cleans his room. He only really glanced at it anyway, he was preoccupied with being pissed off at Derek for being Derek, thinks it said something about heartbeats and irregular spaces. So that was the incident, he supposes.

The second time he’s got his hand stuffed in the crease of Roscoe’s passenger seat in a desperate search for just one fucking quarter, just one, and withdraws a crumpled piece of paper instead. “How long has that been there?” Stiles asks himself as he de-crumples it to read it. He snorts. Obviously quite a while, it’s a poem, and Stiles knows he didn’t write this one, which means it’s circa the Scott/Allison Era.

you laughed

it was Tuesday

you didn’t know I was there

“Not half bad Scotty,” Stiles murmurs, not bothering to finish the rest of it as he tosses it aside and resumes the quest for one measly quarter cause he just wants a burger. Out of life, all he wants is to eat a burger right now. It’s not so much to ask? Right?

He bitches and moans to Scott about his inability to find a quarter and thus eat a burger, but forgets to ask him about the poem thing. The next time he sees Derek, Derek flips him a quarter with a smirk. “Oh, fuck you,” Stiles says, but pockets the quarter and eats him that fucking burger later that night, after they have all managed, miraculously, to not die. “Victory comes in all forms,” Stiles informs Scott sagely in between mouthfuls. So that’s the coincidence, in all its glory.

The third time has Stiles paying the fuck attention, because he’s digging around his back pocket for the quarter Derek gave him, and just as he remembers he spent it already, his fingers close around what must be a receipt. Stiles heaves a grunt of disgust, no curly fries for him then, and glances at the scrap of paper uninterestedly, out of habit, as his arm moves to toss it into the trashcan across the hall. And then he freezes. It’s not some forgotten transaction, it’s a fucking poem. What the fuck. Stiles unfolds the paper and reads the words in their entirety this time, standing in the middle of the hallway as other students stream around him as they head to class. It’s not very long, but it feels like Stiles takes several hours to read it. He reads it like it was meant for him. It must be? Right?

I think

you don’t think of me

all that often

but I think of you

quite often

I’m thinking of you now

I think of you in the morning

I think of you in my bed

at night

I wonder

if you’re thinking of me now

Stiles swallows. His mouth has gone dry. He feels like he just walked in on someone watching some really hot porn. He feels…intimate. He feels…like he’s now late for science. Stiles whirls around in a flail of limbs and pelts to the science lab. But that scrap of paper he doesn’t toss aside. That scrap he keeps. So there’s the pattern.

Stiles was sorta expecting the next one but he wasn’t prepared to find it lying on his keyboard; not there when he went downstairs to grab a soda and now there when he returns.

He tells himself his fingers are shaking with caffeine intake as he reaches out to unfold it, where it lays so innocuously.

He licks his lips, then reads.

I know you’re thinking of me now

will you think of me tonight

in your bed

with your own hands upon yourself

gasping

flushed

and undone

“Ffffuck,” Stiles hisses out between his teeth. There is no way he’s gonna make it to tonight. He’s got a really great jerk off session going, standing there right in front of his desk at 3:30 in the afternoon, pants only pulled down the bare minimum. He’s like feeling it, he is totally ready for this, ‘makes his knees weak’ orgasm he’s coming up on. And then of course, Scotty has to burst in freaking out about supernatural crisis 3B or 6A or whatever number letter combo they’re on now.

“Come on, man!” They both yell at the same time, Scott throwing up his arms and facing the wall as Stiles fumbles to stuff himself back inside his pants. Scott feels the need to ask why. Stiles rants that it’s the privacy of his own fucking room. Scott mutters something about how Derek thinks they need info. “Since when do you listen to what Derek thinks,” Stiles says petulantly as he tosses Scott a bag of Doritos and moves to sit back at his desk. Scott eats the chips on Stiles’ bed as Stiles furiously looks up shit to the best of his ability. The moment is already forgotten. That sort of awkwardness has happened before, and will probably happen again. Which come on Scott, werewolf, use those supernatural senses for once. After Scott is gone Stiles wonders what four times means. Also he mourns the loss of one of the greatest orgasms he never got to experience.

He finds the next one two nights later, under his pillow as he stretches out on his bed. He’s so relaxed and he’s in bed at a decent hour. Derek did not manage to piss him off when they came across each other briefly earlier in the evening and Stiles is ready for some nappy naps. When his fingers brush the edge of the crinkled bit of paper the first feeling he gets is surprise. It’s quickly followed by a quick dip of excitement in his gut. He doesn’t bother to switch any lights on. Too much effort. He reads it by the light of his phone.

I whisper your name to myself

after you’ve left

it’s fairly pathetic

but then last week

you trapped yourself inside your own hoodie

so at least I’m not alone

And Stiles knows. “Derek,” Stiles whispers furiously. He chucks the paper as hard as he can away from him. Which, it being paper, isn’t that far. It flutters down to rest on the bed beside him. That fucking asshole has been laughing at him this whole fucking time. So that’s what comes after a pattern. Epic fuckery.

Stiles sees Derek first thing the next morning; he’s having like, a pre-game huddle with the Erica-Isaac-Boyd triumvirate in the back parking lot behind the gym. “Stiles,” Derek greets him, the hint of a smile on his lips. “You are pathetic,” Stiles snarls at him. Derek’s jaw clenches and his expression turns cold and distant. Stiles whirls around and marches off in righteous fury. Stiles has enough fucking going on in his life without that kind of shit. Stiles thought, he’d thought…it doesn’t even matter what he thought. He was stupid and a dumbass for thinking it.

So naturally he finds the next poem sandwiched in between the pages of this month’s Great English Novel during 3rd period of that day. Stiles isn’t sure when or even how Derek got it in there, but it certainly wasn’t after this morning. He almost doesn’t read it, doesn’t want to give Derek the satisfaction, but he’s Stiles. He must fucking know. He can’t not.

I dreamed of you

it was warm

and bright

and we were safe

you took my hand

and my heart blazed brighter

when I woke

I pretended that it was the future

and if I am patient

that it will be

any day now

“What,” Stiles whispers. His own heart is sinking fast within his chest. His hand clenches down on the poem. “It was all real,” He realizes out loud.

“What?” Scott whispers from the seat behind him.

Stiles whips around in his seat to face him. “Cover for me,” Stiles begs.

Scott doesn’t know what’s going on, but he doesn’t hesitate. “Go,” he says.

Stiles slips from the room, so preoccupied he doesn’t notice that he doesn’t trip or smack into something once.

Derek won’t be at his apartment. Instinctively, Stiles knows this. He jumps in Roscoe and heads straight for the preserve.

The burned out husk of the Hale house looks as tragic and decimating as ever, but that feeling is especially poignant for Stiles at this moment. He gives Roscoe’s wheel one last squeeze, for luck or bravery or whatever, and steps out of the jeep. He tries to repress a shiver as he looks at the charred and broken edifice before him and fails. This had seemed so much simpler, less complicated back in 3rd period. No, Stiles can do this, he absolutely can. He leaps up what’s left of the front steps and barges through the door. “Derek,” he calls.

A few moments of silence, and then a resigned sigh. “What?” Derek asks, voice flat as he materializes out of wherever he was.

Stiles waves the hand that has not once unclenched on the poem in Derek’s general direction.

“You’re serious?” He accuses.

Derek’s stone face takes on a look of frustration. “Yes, Stiles, I’m serious.”

“I…I mean…why?”

Derek sighs like it’s obvious. “I wrote you poems Stiles.”

Stiles seizes upon a detail he has the mental facilities to deal with at this moment. “Why poems though?”

Derek rolls his eyes. “I’m an English Major, Stiles.” Which rude because, like,

“How was I supposed to know that,” Stiles says defensively.

They stand in silence. Derek doesn’t seem inclined to word anymore today and Stiles is furiously thinking.

“You wanna,” and his left hand, the one not still grasping the poem, makes an abortive movement towards Derek, “hold hands?”

After a moment, Derek uncrosses his arms and says, “Okay.” He reaches out, and then they’re holding hands, bridging a gap between them. It’s kind of…awkward. But it’s only awkward in that Stiles suspects feelings are present kind of way, because Derek’s thumb strokes gently along the back of his hand and Stiles feels kinda like, heart blazing or whatever.

“I think of you pretty often,” Stiles admits. “Like, a lot.”

Derek swallows. “Okay.”

BONUS:

First Poem

your heartbeats are

irregular spaces

I dwell there

and refuse to meet your eyes

when you glance my way

Second Poem

you laughed

it was Tuesday

you didn’t know I was there

I have kept it

for myself; that laugh

longing

for your real

and intransigent

presence

#sterek #derek hale #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #ficlet #drabble #fanfic #FOR RACHELBBY

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fadingpersoncollectorstuff-blog · 6 years ago

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