#eventually since this is only chapter 1 haha | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

emisprocrastinatingbywriting · 8 days ago

Text

To Break Free

Summary:

After a lifetime in the big city and a brutal break up, you decided it was time for a change. Austin was everything you expected it to be; quiet, warm, and totally different from the fast paced environment you were used to, but what you hadn’t expected was the particularly handsome stranger that lived across the street to catch you in a compromising position. Although you had hoped to put the experience behind you, the spark between the two of you was hard to ignore, especially when his two teenage daughters quickly became regular guests in your home. After years of heartache, will you be able to keep a kind and devoted man like Joel Miller at arm’s length?

Warnings: NoOutbreak!Joel Miller, Sarah and Ellie as siblings, Neighbour!Joel, The Miller Girls Being wingmen, Reader is just getting over a break up, Mentions of Reader's Shitty Ex, Soft!Joel, Protective!Joel, Eventual Smut, Eventual Fluff, Angst, Eventual Romance.

A/N:

Hey y'all, my name is Em and if you haven't read anything I have posted before, welcome! <3

This fic includes NoOutbreak!Joel as a single dad to two teenage girls, living in Austin when reader moves across the street. This is going to be a fluffy fic, not necessarily a slow burn but it will have all the angst you need to yearn for the handsome Texan. Reader is in her early 30s, while Joel is in his mid 30s. She is just getting out of a marriage that was undoubtedly emotionally abusive, so there will be brief mentions of that throughout the story. I will be sure to leave a note at the beginning of the chapter in case any of you wish to avoid it. Anyways, I love writing for fun and I hope you enjoy the result of that haha. Enjoy! :)

Chapter 1/10 - More to Come!

Chapter 1: Don't Be Ridiculous

Sweat poured down your face, stinging your eyes as box after box got loaded into the bare bones of what would be your new life. This was not how you expected your thirtieth birthday to go, trying to ignore the resentment that clogged the valves of your heart as you tried not to collapse under the Texas heat. It only made you hate the man you had once called your husband all the more. Every twinge in your back from a particularly hefty box, or momentary pause to catch your breath, all brought you back to him.

Two months ago, after an entire year of couples counseling sessions where you were forced to put on a brave face while he practically dozed off, after a year of scheduled date nights where he dragged you around the city like a some sort of prized hog, you had found him in bed with one of his research assistants. You gagged thinking about it, shaking your head as you slammed yet another unreasonably heavy box down on the living room floor. The hot shot professor banging his pretty research assistant was so cliche and yet, you had fallen for every lame excuse he had given for six years. That is, until the truth of your unholy union had smacked you dead in the face. It made you want to scream, especially since you had been that same research assistant once upon a time but stupidly, you had assumed that what the two of you had was different.

Which led you to the place you were, in the first reasonably affordable home you could find on such short notice, lugging all of your worldly possessions in by yourself because the person you had given up everything for had turned out to be a stranger. Betrayal had been coiled around you for two months after the grand reveal, imprisoning you in the carcass of a marriage way past its expiration date. For two months you had stayed silent, shocked into a void by the audacity of your ex as he begged you to stay, but it had all come to head after you found the messages that proved he was still seeing the other woman.

To call her a woman was generous. She was barely an adult really, twenty years old and filled with so much hope, just like you had been when you met him in an intro course during your first year of undergrad. It broke your heart to see the same lines being used on yet another fresh face and finally, a lightbulb had gone off in your head. A week after finding the messages, while he was at work, you vanished without a trace. Austin held the only home you could actually afford without his help, so Austin would be your new start.

“Fuck me,” you groaned, dropping the final box in the entryway in lieu of dragging it all the way to the kitchen.

With heavy limbs, you wandered over to the couch that you had almost dislocated a shoulder trying to shove in through the front door and plopped down on it with a grunt. There was still the bed and a couple other big things left in the moving truck but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. After a morning filled with nothing but emotionally draining goodbyes to the city you once loved and the beautiful apartment that had served you since grad school, followed shortly by the workout of a lifetime, you were wiped. Plus, there was much else left to do, like setting up the AC and grabbing one of the beers you had shoved in the fridge upon arrival. You could practically taste the ice cold Coors Banquets and feel the frigid air sputtering out of the air conditioner that you hadn’t used since undergrad, but you remained glued to the couch.

The weight of the day came down hard, pressing you into the soft cushions until you were sure that your body would become fused to them. It was like you were trapped, shackled to the seat with nowhere to go but further down. No matter how hard you tried, your limbs refused to cooperate and so you sat, admiring the first space you could truly call your own. As the sun filtered in through the big bay windows, illuminating the tiny home in a warm glow, you supposed there were worse places to be trapped. All in all, the house itself wasn’t all that bad. Sure, it had some years on it, but with a few fresh coats of paint and some much needed updates to the appliances, you were sure that it would do just fine.

The big windows along the front of the house called to you through the ugly wallpaper and carpeted staircase when you saw it online, along with the hardwood floors that only needed one good scrub before they gleamed once more. The apron front sink in the kitchen, the clawfoot tub in the bathroom attached to the master suite, the built-in shelves in the living room where you could imagine organizing all of your many books, they all spoke of a life worth living, a life where he wasn’t around to ruin it. You could make this work, you had to. If anything, just to prove him and everyone else in your former life wrong.

“Uh - Hiya,” came from the front door, snapping you out of the pit of loathing you were so prone to these days.

The voice was light and sweet, the sound of it caressing your ear drums as you turned to examine its owner. The girl it came from was young, probably somewhere in her early teens if you had to guess, with beautiful bouncing curls and big eyes that reminded you of a puppy dog. She smiled brightly as you muscled through the pain to stand, taking that as her cue to dart into the house.

“Um, hey there,” you chuckled awkwardly, unused to being in the presence of teenagers outside of working hours.

“You must be new! Well, I mean obviously, you’re not Mrs. Thompson. She was like a hundred years old or something,” the stranger chirped, her curls lightly bouncing as she spoke.

“Yeah uh, I think she went to live with her son in Boston. She gave me a good price, so everyone wins I guess,” you said, wincing at how boring you probably sounded to the young girl.

“That’s great!,” she smiled, the sincerity nearly knocking you off balance, “Anyways, Ellie said she watched you move in today all by yourself. Ugh, don’t worry, I already gave her hell for not helping, she’s always hanging out with her girlfriend. But I felt bad, so I made you these.”

A tin container was thrust into your face, the faded faces of Sesame Street characters on the side of it making you cock an eyebrow at her. With a hesitant smile, you took the box. Peeling the lid back, the pile of chocolate chip cookies that greeted you made your throat grow tight. Not one happy birthday had been sent your way, much less any sort of treat. Looking down at them, your stomach rumbled, a ferocious sound that made you bypass all social niceties and cram one of the chocolatey treats into your mouth before the organ caved in on itself.

“Jesus Christ, that’s fucking good,” you moaned, closing your eyes to fully savour the taste.

It was only when you opened them that you were reminded of the child that stood in front of you.

“Oh don’t worry about it” she giggled, waving off the panic that undoubtedly spread across your face, “Dad is in construction. I’ve heard him and Uncle Tommy say way worse than that.”

“I bet,” you laughed, shaking your head as you put the container down.

“I’m Sarah by the way, I live over there,” Sarah said, pointing towards the home across the street that seemed to radiate the same warmth that she did.

There were two kinds of people that owned a home like that; the kind that paid someone to meticulously craft it and got mad at anyone in the neighbourhood who seemed bad for their brand, or the kind that simply enjoyed the art of architecture and wanted their home to reflect it. With how much TLC your well loved bungalow was in need of, along with the measly salary you were about to be making at the local library, you hoped like hell that Sarah’s parents were the latter. The last thing you needed was a member of the PTA banging down your door because the bushes weren’t trimmed to perfection.

“It’s nice, your parents have really good taste,” you said, admiring the stone pathway.

“Oh no, that’s actually all dad. He owns a contracting business. Pretty boring stuff really, but it means me and Ellie get to order take out whenever he has to stay late at the jobsite,” she said mischievously, making you grin in return.

Sarah had a way about her, a magnitude that came from being the purest form of extrovert. It made you wonder about the rest of her family. With most of the hyenas that you had once called your friends miles away, you hoped her parents were as friendly as their chatty daughter. The thought of having another grown up to talk to, one that didn’t expect anything from you other than a glass of wine and laughter, was incredibly attractive. Maybe her mom had a group of girlfriends she could introduce you to, perhaps even a book club that had room for one more. You sighed, a girl could dream.

“So, what about you newbie? What’s your story?,” she asked.

Loosened up by the sweet treat, you found yourself telling Sarah your name, some censored details of your past life, your future gig at the library, and even the fact that it was your birthday. In return, you listened as the teen chirped excitedly about her favourite books and even agreed to help her find a few things in the stacks once you got your bearings. The conversation was nice, uncomplicated and cheerful, making you completely forget about the disaster that surrounded you.

For weeks, all of the people in your life had hung you out to dry. The men who were likely cheating on their own beautiful brides scoffed at what they thought to be a theatrical reaction to your ex’s betrayal, while their polished wives asked through thinly veiled humor if you actually thought you could do any better than him. And the worst part was that you had started to believe them, entertaining the idea that maybe they were right, maybe all you were meant to be was a pretty face for him to drag to stuffy parties or university sponsored fundraisers. After all, you were nothing but a stray that he had picked up along the way. And him? Well, he had always held all of the power. But in that moment, in your own home with a bubbly teen chattering about the joys of YA novels, you finally felt like you could breathe again.

“I don’t want to talk your ear off when you clearly have some stuff to unpack, but maybe later tonight you could come over for supper? My dad always makes way too much and Ellie is probably out with Riley, so…,” Sarah trailed off, looking up at you with her best puppy dog eyes.

“Ah well, as much as I’d like to, I really need to hose this stench off and I’ve still got a couple heavier things in the back of the truck that need to come in before it gets dark. How about next time?,” you tried.

Sarah smiled at that, nodding excitedly despite the rejection. Although you were curious about her proposal, there was no universe where you would accept a dinner invitation from a random child. No matter how cool her parents might be, you were pretty sure it would be weird for their teenager to come home with a random woman in tow. What would you even say to her father? Her mother? You could practically see them in all of their middle-class American glory, the father pot bellied and wary of any woman who was educated, and the docile wife that had settled for him once those dreaded blue lines had shown up. There was no way you were going to sit through a dinner with the embodiment of your living nightmare for anyone, much less a teenager you barely knew. Although, her enthusiasm did make you hesitate.

“Of course! Go! Take your shower and let me worry about the rest,” Sarah exclaimed, practically bouncing out the door with a cheeky grin.

“What? Wait! What do you mean you’ll ‘worry about the rest’?!,” you called after her, but she was already out the door.

Weird, you thought, shrugging it off as you turned back towards the disaster spread across your home. It would take hours to unpack it all and with the bigger things still loaded into the truck, you decided that there was no use in worrying about making the place look homey quite yet. What needed to be addressed immediately was the acrid stench wafting from your pores. It was as if the last few years of your life were literally oozing out into the tiny space, the move itself cleansing you of the toxins that had been building up for far too long.

Sighing, you dragged yourself up the stairs and into the ensuite, thanking the heavens that you had thought to label the boxes so that you didn’t have to pilfer through the mess for a towel. After finding the expensive shampoo and conditioner that you had swiped during the escape, you turned the valve as cold as it would go and stepped in. The frigid stream rained down on you, banishing every thought from your mind as all of your muscles tensed in displeasure. Goosebumps erupted all over, your nipples hardening up so fast that you were sure they could cut through glass, but you powered through it. The cold water was as invigorating as it was uncomfortable and you wanted to revel in it for as long as possible.

However, just as you had finished going through all of your hair care and scrubbing down your body for a third time, you heard it. The sound was small, so small that you might’ve ignored it if you were in your previous home, but this was different. No longer were you in a high rise filled with other tenants that shared the same building. And no longer were you subjected to a husband that ungraciously crashed in and out of the home at all hours. You were all alone, in a home that had no other owner. A home where any vaguely masculine sound could not go unchecked, especially when you were naked and it was coming from inside of your bedroom.

“Shit,” you cussed, quickly shutting off the stream of water that pounded against your backside.

With shaky hands, you slid the door to the shower open, stepping out onto the tiles carefully so as not to make any noise. Had you locked the front door before coming upstairs? You couldn’t remember, but it hardly seemed important at that moment. Not when there was an unknown assailant in your bedroom, doing god knows what as he grunted from exertion. With most of your pointy things downstairs and the clothes you were wearing somewhere in the bedroom with him, there weren’t many options. Either you stayed in the bathroom and prayed he didn’t bust the door down, or you covered up as much as possible and ran for it.

With no other option, you gulped and wrapped a towel around yourself as tight as it would go. You couldn’t remember the last time you ran anywhere. It must have been the rugby tryouts a college roommate dragged you to during your first year. Shivering, you tried not to think about how you had gotten your ass kicked that day. Athletic was not a word you would use to describe yourself, you had always been the girl who had lunch with the English teacher because she didn’t have any friends, but this was life or death. Taking a deep breath, you eased the door open and slipped out, eyes trained on the sweaty back of a stranger. You were just about to start running when the man grunted, lifting himself from the floor with a huff. Frozen, you watched in horror as he turned around, his big brown eyes falling on you instantly.

“AH!,” he exclaimed, his booming voice catching you off guard and making you drop the towel that was already doing a horrible job at containing your curves.

A beat passed, one where you wanted nothing more than to sink into the floor and cease to exist. Whoever the home invader was, he was handsome. Handsome and staring quite plainly at your exposed breasts like he was trying to burn them into his memory. Your face burned, cunt clenching from his quiet reverie. If you were a stronger woman, or at least a woman who had been given regular orgasms from her partner, perhaps then you would have tried to escape him, but you weren’t. With your heart slamming against your ribcage, you stood there in complete silence, trapped by those dark eyes that took in every inch of your damp skin.

“Please,” you whispered, unsure whether it was his mercy or ruthlessness you were asking for.

Either way, the stranger seemed to know what you needed. Before you had a chance to even think about elaborating, he had already stepped into your space. For a moment the most twisted fantasies, along with the most terrifying thoughts, bubbled up from deep inside of you. His scent engulfed you, a delicious mixture of sawdust and the spiciness of his cologne, and it made you rub your thighs together to ease some of the pressure gathering there.

“M’sorry sweetheart,” he mumbled, the gentleness catching you off guard entirely.

It was soft, the low cadence of his syrupy drawl similar to that of a lover whispering sweet nothings after a particularly passionate night. All at once, you felt that electrified pull beneath your navel, an animalistic draw that you could tell he felt as well, and suddenly it didn’t matter that he was a stranger. Who were you to look a gift horse in the mouth? Especially one with such kissable lips. He stepped even closer and your heart stuttered, the proximity forcing your gaze up towards his face to gauge his intentions.

However, just as you thought that the gorgeous stranger might swoop down and take you, he averted his eyes, stooping down on creaky knees to grab the towel off the floor for you. All you could do was stare at him, watching as a bit of red crept up the side of his neck and brightened the highs of his beautiful cheekbones as he held it out. It truly was a shame that your burglar didn’t want to fuck you, especially since you were more than happy to let him take whatever he wanted once he made you cum, but reality wasn’t like the smutty novels you had lived off of. Trying to keep a petulant whine from spilling from your lips, you snatched the towel from his grasp and wrapped it around yourself once more.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give ya a fright by hollerin’ like that. My ears are mostly for show these days darling. Fifteen years of construction will do that I suppose,” he awkwardly joked, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Um, okay? Who the hell are you? Why are you in my house?,” you asked, sounding more confused than angry.

He straightened up at once, brow furrowed as he tried to make sense of what you had just said.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?! I don’t know about you sir, but I don’t just walk into other people’s homes uninvited while they are in the goddamn shower,” you sassed, rolling your eyes at the way he was suddenly so keen to stare at the walls instead of you.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” he said under his breath, shaking his head.

“Excuse me?,” you snapped, the illusion of a steamy fantasy shattered.

He held up his hand, which made you want to rip the limb clean off his body but with no other option, you let him finish.

“My daughter sent me over here to help ya move the last little bit of your stuff in,” he sighed, his hands scrubbing at his face, “She said you knew I was coming and that I could just go in. Fuck, I know that sounds stupid but the kid is kinda the master at convincing people to do stuff for her.”

“You must be Sarah’s dad,” you laughed, suddenly noticing a couple of the features they shared.

He nodded, flushing even more as he chuckled alongside you. Looking at the man’s side profile, you couldn’t help but feel a bit bummed. When you thought of construction guys, men like Sarah’s dad didn’t exactly come to mind. But this man was something else, a unicorn hidden in a field of goblins that drank too much and had terrible political views. With a nose that you’d love to smush your clit against as you took his face for a ride and thick thighs that you knew would be more than capable of administering mind breaking thrusts, you were sure that proof of your arousal was about to start dripping down your thighs. It was unfair for a man like him to be so attractive, yet so off limits to you in a time of need. But before you could dwell on it too much, he started talking again.

“Listen, I uh… I’ve got that death trap that you call an AC set up downstairs, the kids are lugging in some of the other stuff right now, but I just thought that with a fancy ass bed frame like this, you might need a hand. I really didn’t mean to uh…,” he trailed off.

So this was what Sarah had meant when she said she’d take care of things. You sighed. She had been trying to help you, that much was clear as your eyes landed on the dresser and vanity that had been dragged upstairs as well, but all the teen had truly accomplished was embarrassing you in front of her absolute smoke show of a dad. Even now, with his eyes elsewhere and his jaw set, you could tell that just one glance from him was going to have you weak in the knees.

“I mean, she mentioned leaving it up to her. Never said how she planned to help though,” you chuckled, “You can turn around now too by the way, I’m decent.”

And just as you thought, the second that he turned around you had to lock your knees so that you didn’t keel over. Fuck, you hated that you were right. Sarah’s dad was broad, the type of broad you knew came from a lifetime of working with his hands. His hair was a mess of mussed curls, with just a couple slivers of grey peeking out to show his age amongst the usual brown. But his eyes, god damnit his eyes, shot straight through you.

The way he loomed over you, his gaze seeming to predict every mood, every whim, every desire without ever proding, made you want to jump him. And weirdly enough, you knew he felt the same, could practically taste the chemical reaction that he was having alongside you. His pupils were fully dilated, nostrils flaring like he was savouring the warm smell of vanilla that wafted off of you. He licked his lips as he stared down at your own and you wondered how he would taste if he gave himself permission to lean in.

There was a part of you that wanted to shrink away from it, from the unwavering glance of someone whose vibrations seemed so aligned with your own, but you didn’t. It was strange. For years, despite the fact that you were literally married, nobody had looked at you like Sarah’s dad was in that moment. To be vulnerable, to be known, was a burden by all reports and running from the past had become something of a sport to you as of late. Nevertheless, for some reason, even though you were half naked and incredibly flustered, you had never felt more rooted in place.

“I’m Joel by the way,” he drawled as he shoved one of his big bear paws out towards you, “Joel Miller. I live across the street, but I’m sure my knucklehead kid already told ya that.”

The way Joel’s hand swallowed yours when you took it, his thick fingers warming your freezing skin as you barely managed to stutter out your name, was not lost on either of you. Something hummed underneath your skin, making you want to reach out and yank his face towards yours. An electric current lit up every single nerve ending in your body, while warning bells went off in your head.

For the sake of human decency, you tried to be reasonable. A man this hunky definitely had a wife, a girlfriend, or several more casual flings, and you were not in any position to be looking for anything. But that didn’t stop the uncensored filth that flashed through your mind. All you could think about was tearing his shirt off, licking the bead of sweat that dripped down his neck, and grinding against what you knew would be a devastatingly huge bulge. You bit your lip, shifting a bit uncomfortably as you felt your clit pulse with desire.

Joel flicked his gaze down towards your bare thighs, a ghost of a smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. He knew. You wanted to run from him, to bury your head in the sand until the hot flash of embarrassment fizzled out, but you didn’t. Instead you stayed put, letting his scent dizzy you as he shifted imperceptibly closer. One more step and your nose would be brushing Joel’s chest, one more step and you knew that you would be climbing him like a tree. The situation itself was insane, but you couldn’t help but imagine what his rough palms were going to feel like against your hips as he speared you down on his thick c-

“Well, I’m real sorry about the miscommunication darling. I truly thought that she told you. Christ, I can’t even imagine how scared I must’ve made ya. The last thing you needed was a dumbass like me welcoming you to the neighborhood with a heart attack,” Joel joked, gracefully extracting his hand from your grasp.

You didn’t even realize you were still holding it. His awkward smile brought you back down to earth, halting any internal debates about whether the strength he so clearly used at his job would translate in the bedroom. Instead, you waved him off and turned towards one of the boxes, grabbing whatever clothes you could find to cover yourself.

“Don’t worry about it Joel, just maybe call first next time… Or at least knock, I’d like to know in advance if I’m gonna give someone a show,” you shot back, the humor in your tone catching him off guard.

“Shit, alright then darling. Will do,” Joel chuckled, running a hand through his hair as he grew even redder than before.

The two of you laughed for a second, completely locked in one another as the unbearable tension melted. It was incredibly comforting and extremely odd all at once. Despite the fact that you were exhausted, your mascara undoubtedly smeared beneath your eyes due to the elusiveness of your makeup wipes, you didn’t feel any particular urge to get dressed.

Anyone with eyes could see that Joel Miller was a certified DILF, but the comfort you felt had nothing to do with his attractiveness. It was his presence, a steady flow of calm that radiated off of him and soothed the usual restlessness that drove you to the point of madness everyday. That and the way he looked at you, his eyes no longer widened from the sneak peek he had received, falling upon you as if you were someone he had known for years. It made you want to stay right there, drilling him about his life in nothing but a towel as he put together your bed, almost like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Hey, where do you think she would want this - Oh fuck, what the hell?,” a voice said from behind you, forcing the two of you to finally break eye contact.

Another girl, this one interestingly also around the same age as Sarah, stood in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Based on the way she cocked an eyebrow at the man behind her, looking like she was about to make his life a living hell with all of the jokes she had conjured in that instant, you had no doubt that this was his other daughter. Ellie looked different than Sarah, with lighter skin and wavy hair, but their expressions were pretty much the same. With how close in age the two teens were, it seemed as though the devilishly handsome man in front of you had been blessed with a ridiculously busy year around fifteen years ago. You wondered which one of their moms Joel had raised his daughters with and sighed. Both of them were beautiful, which left no doubt in your mind that their moms were models of some sort.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Ellie started, already drawing an exasperated sigh from her father, “Go help Sarah with the rest so that I can get this shit put together Ellie. Puh-lease! If you wanted some alone time with the hot new neighbour lady then you could’ve just asked us. That would have been a lot less weird than this.”

“Damnit Ellie, that’s not -” Joel stopped, rubbing his eyes as he grew more flustered, “I was just putting her bed together and she came out of the shower, that’s all. Cut it out, would ya?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, forcing you to bite back a laugh as her father floundered behind you.

“Sure yeah, just putting her bed together so that you can get her pregnant on it,” she mumbled as she backed out of the room.

“Hey! Watch your mouth kid,” he called after her, getting nothing but a cackle from down the hallway in response.

Joel looked upwards, as if he was asking for assistance from a higher power before his gaze came back down to meet yours. Embarrassed didn’t even begin to cover how the man looked at that moment. Something akin to a fondness blossomed in your chest and you tried to shove it down but he was making it impossible. He looked cute all riled up, like a twelve year old boy rather than a man in his mid thirties.

“Fuck’s sake, m’sorry about her too. That’s my other kid, Ellie. She thinks she’s a goddamn comedian or something, but I’m workin’ on it,” Joel groaned.

“She IS funny Joel, you just don’t think so because the joke was at your expense,” you pointed out with a sly grin.

“Yours too.”

“Yeah, but I’ve got a sense of humor,” you teased, giving him a cheeky wink for good measure.

Joel laughed, throwing his head back in a way that you couldn’t help but find endearing. His Adam's apple bobbed as the boisterous sound escaped his lips and you longed to nip at it until he whined. Did Joel Miller ever whine? God, you hoped so. Or perhaps he growled, muttering twisted promises in his lover’s ears as he fucked them into the mattress. You stopped yourself as Joel’s laughter petered off, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that he would notice how close you were to exploding in an instant. All of it was so ridiculous, you were just two adults having a normal conversation, nothing more.

“Well, anyways I uh-,” you cleared your throat, “I should get dressed. You don’t have to finish all of this Joel, but I really appreciate the help. I’m sure you have stuff to be getting back to at home and I don’t want to be a pain. I’ve got the rest of this.”

“With all due respect sweetheart, considering the fact that I ain’t seen a single box of tools anywhere and you’re on your own, I’m pretty sure you could use all the help you can get. How about I finish up while you get dressed? If you still want to kick me out after that, then by all means,” Joel proposed.

“Fine, but I’m a speedy dresser so chop chop,” you said, pointing a finger at him.

He laughed and gave you a mock salute, “Yes ma’am.”

And while it was usually true that you were a speedy dresser, the shredded muscles that weighed you down ended up working in Joel’s favor. Plus, it had taken you nearly fifteen minutes to dig out your deodorant from one of the boxes. If it had been anyone else, you would have left it for later, but there was no way you were going to smell bad in front of a man that had turned you into a horny teen again. Once you were done, you slipped back out into the bedroom, coming to a halt when you saw the progress of Joel’s work. Although you were sure that he would likely be done getting the frame together, and perhaps even setting up the headboard, nothing could have prepared you for the amount of work he had accomplished.

The bed was fully set up. The only task that was left was to cover it in sheets. Meanwhile, your bedside tables were in place on each side, the lamp and alarm clock set up on the one closest to the window. Even the rug you typically placed at your bedside for the chillier mornings was exactly where it should be. It was as if Joel had delved into your mind to find the exact layout you desired in a home. You smiled as you looked over his work. Who would have thought that such a man, or any man for that matter, could possess such attention to detail? You smiled, deciding that you needed to thank him, but as you looked around, you realized he was gone.

A bit peeved from Joel’s sudden absence, you moved down the hallway in search of one of the three Millers you had been acquainted with so far. The spare bedroom that you planned to make an office now held your desk and your monitor, another clue of the man you had wanted to climb like a tree just moments before, but the culprit behind the set up remained elusive. As you drifted down the stairs, you felt the cold air being pumped out of the clunky air conditioner in the living room and sighed. The kitchen table was in place, the loveseat, the armchair, even your many plants that had been strapped into the passenger seat of the truck were shoved along the wall of the big bay windows, soaking up the last bits of the Texan sun.

The kindness that the Millers had shown to you today was not lost on you, especially with how shitty of a day it had been thus far. Today was supposed to mark your thirtieth year on this earth, a cause for celebration that you had actually been looking forward to and yet, you had commenced it with a hasty escape and ended it with a difficult move. Still, you supposed there was a good side to even the worst endings, and maybe the good side was getting to fluster a ruggedly handsome contractor in your bedroom without really having to try. Even with your unshaved legs and melted makeup, he had still looked at you like you were some sort of nymph. That had to count for something. Stepping into the kitchen in search of the beer you so desperately needed, you decided to count the experience as a win.

So what if the hunk across the street had seen you but ass naked? The thinly veiled desire in Joel’s eyes for those few split seconds after the towel had fallen was the perfect balm to an itch that hadn’t been scratched in quite some time. For years, your ex had barely glanced in your direction, which made sense now that you knew that he had been cheating on you for the entirety of your marriage. Stupidly, you had assumed it to be your own fault that he wasn’t interested. As if his lack of desire for you and your body was somehow proof that you were not only unattractive, but a burden to him as well.

The rejection had made you do incredibly ridiculous things like signing up for pilates and trying every bogus crash diet there was, but this absolute stranger had been interested in your curves in an instant. A stunning man that any sane woman would happily ride into the sunset had stared at you like you were a four course meal, never once frowning at any of your imperfections. There was power in that, a power you had completely forgotten until the moment that the towel fell. Fuck your ex, you thought as you uncapped a cold beer, you would be fine without him.

Life in Austin had started off a bit hectic, as you found yourself distracted for days after the encounter with Joel, but it slowly started to take shape as the days turned into weeks. More of the boxes were unpacked, a fresh coat of paint eventually covered the walls of your living room and kitchen, and even the weeds in the little garden out front had been dealt with. With the few art pieces you owned hung on the walls and your plants crowding every windowsill of the house, the place was finally a solace. Even your job at the library, despite the disarray everything had been in because its former director, had become easier with time. The staff slowly learned to accommodate your managing style, along with the much needed updates in the form of a functional filing system and actual advertising for the small events that the library held.

By the end of your first month, Austin no longer felt like a holding place for something more, it felt like home. And although you had still not made any friends outside of the two teenage girls that somehow always sweet talked their way into a night of movies and junk food in your living room, you were happy. Originally, you had hoped for girlfriends to drink wine and chat with, but if the best that Austin could offer you was hanging out with your neighbour’s chatty kids, you’d take it. The girls were good company, which was more than you could say about the previous crowd you had ran with. Plus, you had managed to greedily squeeze some information from the two about the handsome man that they lived with, the same man who had since vanished from your life without a trace.

Joel was a single father, a fact that you tried not to dwell on too much for fear you would do something stupid like try to seduce him. After Sarah’s mom had left he had taken on full responsibility for the newborn girl, all while juggling work and a brother who apparently had been known to get into a bit of trouble from time to time. That alone was worthy of respect, but it was his guardianship over Ellie that made your heart melt. Sarah was only a couple months old when a bundled up newborn had been found at one of his worksites and without knowing anything about the nameless child, Joel and his big heart had taken her in.

Everything you heard about this man, whether it be his care over his daughters, or his apparent love for cooking, or the fact that he never missed an event in his children’s lives despite owning his own company, was enough to light a spark in your belly. You tried to suppress it, the cave woman instincts that screamed at you to find a way to get Joel alone so that you could pounce, but it was becoming harder the more his daughters told you about him. The allure of a man like him, a true provider that seemed to put everyone above himself, was getting harder to ignore. Which meant that as hard as you tried to not to be disappointed by his sudden absence, you couldn’t help the sour look on your face every time he managed to dodge you.

Every morning when you heard Joel’s truck start, you found yourself racing to the window, hoping to get a sneak peak at him in his work clothes. Much to your dismay, he managed to escape in the nick of time every day, and you were left kicking your feet like a goddamn teenager as you watched his tail lights disappear down the street. It was probably for the best anyways, or at least that’s what you told yourself. The last thing you needed was to be caught drooling at him in his carhartt like some sort of creep.

Despite the obvious crush that you held for the gruff stud, you continuously reminded yourself that Joel Miller was off limits. It didn’t matter that he was single, nor that he was obviously attracted to you. After a full ten years of being committed to only one man and eight years of a heart breaking marriage, with the last six of them being downright embarrassing, you knew that getting involved with someone so soon was a bad idea. What you needed was something flirty and fun, the fling you never got the chance to have in your twenties. All you wanted was someone who would call you pretty, someone who would take you on a few nice dates and maybe even fool around with you in the back of their car. And Joel Miller… Well, Joel Miller was a man through and through. There was no way someone with so many responsibilities would be interested in something so fleeting.

Which was why when a handsome stranger had approached you at the coffee shop in town and asked you out, you had happily accepted. Brad was handsome and tall, with a smart blazer that had made him look incredibly sharp in the more casual environment of the cafe. In hindsight, that should have been the first warning sign, but you had ignored it in hopes that you might get a nice dinner out of him at the very least. How ridiculous you had been, hoping for a nice dinner from a man that was almost a carbon copy of your ex.

From the moment you saw Brad in his flashy convertible, you knew the date was a mistake, but you had stupidly pushed it aside. But as you listened to him drone on about the thrills of working in marketing, you felt yourself beginning to drift away. All of the work you had raced home after work to accomplish, the makeup, the dress, the heels, the Pamela Anderson updo that you had spent nearly an hour trying to perfect; it had all been for nothing.

“... And that’s when I said, you call that content creation? Are you in communications or something?,” Brad laughed, a nasally sound that grated upon your already thin patience.

You granted him a fake laugh, too out of it to make it sound overly convincing but he didn’t seem to notice or care.

“Anyways, so that’s just a little bit about me,” he sighed, as if he hadn’t been talking for ages, “And you? I think I remember you saying that you’re a school teacher right? Man, those little boys must love having you around all day. I know that I would’ve loved having a hot teacher like you when I was their age.”

A sharp burst of frustration burned through you, igniting a fire inside of your chest that clawed at the backs of your eyes. Three times you had told him what your profession was and yet it seemed that your words still hadn’t permeated through his thick skull. And the comment about the boys in the classroom he thought you ran? That made you want to punch him straight in his overly smug face. You supposed you shouldn’t have been that surprised, especially since every bathroom break Brad took was followed with the tell tale sniffling that came from railing lines when he finally returned to the table. Every fiber of your being longed to get away, tears threatening to spill over as yet another man made you feel as though you were not worthy of attention. And still, your date was oblivious to it all, a nostalgic reminder of what you had dealt with for the last ten years.

“Alright, well I gotta go take another leak. You stay here gorgeous, I’ll be right back,” Brad announced suddenly, clapping his hands together as he unceremoniously lifted himself from the booth and scurried towards the safe zone where he could delve into the white powder in his pocket.

He shot you a wink as he waltzed away, making you shudder as you watched him disappear into the bathroom. The second Brad was out of view, you were up out of the booth, fumbling with the hem of your dress as you made your hasty escape. Patrons turned towards you as you went by, no doubt amused by the frazzled woman that was doing a horrible job getting out unnoticed. All eyes seemed to be on you as you bumped into waiters and busboys, but it was when your heel suddenly snapped just inches from the front door that you finally broke down.

“No,” you croaked, the pitiful sound of it muffled beneath the upbeat pop music that the chic establishment was blaring through its speakers.

The gazes of the entire bar, along with undoubtedly most of the restaurant, burned a hole into your backside and you had no other choice than to slip the heel off so that you could hobble towards the exit. You barely managed to make it just a few steps outside before the real tears came. Heaving sobs tumbled from your lips as you hobbled towards the sidewalk, making the smokers out front scatter like rats, but you couldn’t care less. You had already made a spectacle, what were a few more judgmental looks to someone so desolate?

Brad had offered to drive and you, swept up in the fantasy of being treated like a lady for once in your god forsaken life, had stupidly accepted. With nobody to call, and no idea how to navigate the transit system, you had no choice but to take the thirty minute journey back home on foot.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…,” you muttered, berating yourself for even thinking that you might have a good time.

The idea of a perfect date was so stupid, it was just a concept fueled by cheesy romance novels and hallmark movies. Every date you had ever been on was a flop but for whatever reason, there was still some childish part of you that dreamed of one day being knocked off your feet by someone who cared enough to try. It didn’t even have to be flashy, all you wanted was to have someone to plan something that you would actually enjoy, not some sleazy date at a place way above your paygrade. Upon accepting the invitation, you knew that Brad wasn’t the kind of guy that was going to dream up something life changing, but you had hoped that he would at least pretend to care about what you had to say, even if it was just to swindle you into some mediocre hand stuff in the car on the way back. But of course, no such luck.

Wiping some of the smudged eyeliner off of your face, you leaned down and took off the other shoe, readying yourself for the long trek home. You sighed, heart pounding as you looked down at the get up you were in. The dress was beautiful, but it was also one of the more revealing items in your wardrobe and it would be dark soon. As a car full of young men slowed down as they passed, all of them looking at you like you were a piece of meat, you resigned yourself to running down the highway if you must. However, as you hastened towards the crosswalk, a fresh wave of panic propelling you forward, you heard someone call out your name. You sighed, thinking it was Brad hot on your heels, only to be met with the sight of none other than Joel Miller running after you as you turned.

“Christ woman, you’re fucking fast,” Joel panted as he reached you, his hand rubbing at his chest as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Joel? What are you doing here?,” you asked, so entirely bewildered by his presence that you briefly wondered if he was a panic induced hallucination.

“I was meeting with a potential client back at the bar, some hot shot asshole that wants to put up a new subdivision. I was just about to leave but then uh…Well, I saw you come in,” he said sheepishly, his words only baffling you even more.

“Oh,” was all you could say.

A beat passed, one where you tried to avoid eye contact despite the fact that his gaze was burning through the side of your face. The last person you wanted to see at that moment was Joel, especially when his hair was slicked back from his face and his well built physique was practically bursting through the seams of his button up. You were a complete mess, as was your life, and the truth of it was laid bare for him on the filthy sidewalk as cars passed by. You were mortified.

As to why Joel would stay at a place like that on account of you? You couldn’t say. It certainly didn’t seem like the type of restaurant he would be caught dead in, but you supposed that was just the type of man Joel was. Hell, he probably sensed the time bomb your date was going to be and felt obligated to make sure that the strange woman his kids seemed to like hanging out with made it home safe. The thought of it made you nauseous.

“Here, you left this. I uh, I figured you’d need it,” Joel mumbled as he shoved your purse at you.

The act was nothing really, something any normal person would have the decency to do if they saw someone leave behind their things in a public setting, but it shattered the last bit of resolve that you had been desperately clinging to. A strange noise came from you, the sound somewhere between a choked whine and a garbled apology, then the dam broke. The first sob was harsh, all of the pain of having yet another man disappoint you bubbling up and slapping Joel straight in the face with its volume. And yet, as you tried to grab the purse from him so that you could run from him and the terrible night, he snatched it back.

“W-What?,” you squeaked, unable to stop the shaky cries that slurred all of your words.

“C’mon sweet girl,” Joel sighed, pulling the broken heels from your shaky hands as well, “Let’s get you home.”

You barely had time to think before one of his hands was pressed against the small of your back, leading you towards the parking lot like it was the most normal thing in the world. He didn’t say anything else despite your incoherent attempts at refusing his assistance, he simply continued to coral you towards his truck with his soft touch. Joel wrenched his passenger door open, throwing your heels into the back of the truck and carefully placing the purse on the center console before he held his hand out to you.

“Joel, I don’t need - ,” you stopped, cut off by the stormy look and sharp shake of the head that he sent your way.

With no other choice, you grabbed Joel’s hand, quietly thanking him as you used it to lift yourself into the cab. Once you were in the seat, he stared at you for a moment, like he was trying to solve some sort of puzzle in his head. His eyes flicked over every inch of you, the warmth in them almost as palpable as the concern. Your heart stuttered when Joel’s eyes finally met yours again, the poor thing stumbling through its duty under his heavy gaze. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, warring with himself for a couple more seconds before he finally asked, “Are you okay darling?”

“I’m…,” you stopped, unsure how to answer him.

The answer to that question was complicated. Were you okay? That was something that you asked yourself almost every single day since arriving in Austin and luckily, thanks to all of the ways your life had improved since leaving you ex, your answer was closer to a yes than it had been in years.

“Almost… I’m trying to be at least,” you said quietly, “That’s why I thought it might be good to… I don’t know, try to get out there again? It was a stupid idea. That guy was clearly not the right person to try with but I just wanted to feel special I guess.”

Joel nodded, a look of genuine understanding slightly softening his clenched jaw. His fists unclenched at his sides, his whole being deflating with the immediate danger out of sight. He started to say something, to answer the vulnerable admission you had made to him, but an obnoxiously loud voice cut him off.

“Hey! There you are. Shit, I only left for like ten minutes babe and you ditch me? C’mon! What the fuck is up with that? I thought you were fun,” Brad laughed as he approached the truck.

“God damnit,” you muttered, readying yourself for whatever bullshit argument this guy was going to force you to take part in because of his dented ego.

“Stay here,” Joel grunted, a grim expression wiping any trace of compassion from his face as he began to close your door.

“Wait, what? Joel, n-.” he cut you off, slamming the door in your face as he turned towards the man stalking towards the back of his truck.

You turned, watching through wide eyes as Brad tried to keep his cool in the face of your kind neighbour that had just morphed into a frightening guard dog. Sure, Brad was just as tall as Joel, but Joel was undoubtedly stronger than him. Whereas the muscles your date had were for show, created in a gym with a million other douchebags that looked just like him, Joel’s were earned through back breaking labor. Next to your neighbor, Brad looked like a shrimp dick nobody and based on his nervousness, he knew it too.

Their words were muffled, so much so that you could barely make out anything other than your name, but their faces said it all. While Joel remained stoic, Brad grew more petulant by the second, until he slowly began to take on the shape of a child who had gotten their toy taken away from them. You didn’t know what to do. The mess was yours and yet, there was Joel looming over your shitty date, looking like he was about ready to strangle the asshole if he said one more stupid thing. With how much the Millers had helped you on your first day, the last thing you needed was to feel more indebted to any of them, especially Joel. Sighing, you ripped open the door and turned on shaky legs to face the man throwing a tantrum over your disappearance.

“Fine, what do I care? That bitch has probably fucked half the town by now,” Brad laughed, the words slamming into your chest so hard that you stumbled a few steps back.

“I’m gonna give you one chance to walk that one back asshole,” Joel seethed, the veins in his neck straining as all of the kindness you were accustomed to seeing in him shifted into something much darker.

Brad took one step forward, smugness oozing from his pores as he leaned in to say, “I’m just saying man, might want to get checked out if you’ve hit that. Do you know how easy it was for me to get a date with her? All I had to do was ask and that slut -”

The rest of that statement was lost, a sharp grunt replacing whatever scathing comment Brad had brewing as Joel’s fist connected with his face. You gasped, watching as your date fell back on his ass, groaning as blood spurted from his shattered nose. Brad didn’t even try to get up, the fear evident in his eyes as his attacker knelt down and roughly took hold of his collar.

“You’re not going to call her, you’re not going to try to talk to her in town, and you sure as shit aren’t going to tell anyone about what happened here today. I don’t want to see you even fucking breathe in the same space as that woman, you got me?,” Joel hissed, giving the bleeding man a hard shake for good measure.

“Shit man, I-I’ve got it! She won’t hear from me ever again,” Brad stuttered, sounding almost close to tears himself.

“Good, now fuck off before I knock your goddamn teeth out,” Joel snapped, dropping your date onto the pavement and promptly turning back towards the truck.

His eyes widened a little when he saw you standing near the bumper, seemingly unaware that he had an audience for his threats. You gave him a weak smile, something that earned you yet another shake of the head from him as he stomped towards you. Joel took your hand this time, grumbling about safety as he dragged you back towards the passenger seat, but you were too flustered by the scene to ask him to speak up.

Joel had defended you, despite the fact that you were basically strangers. And not just that, but he had looked damn good doing it too. You tried to keep yourself in check, to remind yourself that he was simply a good man, but he was making it incredibly hard. A gasp fell from your lips as Joel mindlessly gripped your hips, forgoing the hand hold in order to lift you back into the truck.

“Shit,” you whispered, unable to keep the cuss from tumbling out with his fingers digging into your curves, releasing a swarm of butterflies inside of your gut.

Joel paused, his face just inches away from yours and his hands still placed on your hips as he looked you right in the eye. Neither of you said a word, the silence thick as your breaths slowly synced with one another. Once again, the rest of the world fell away and it was just the two of you. A tidal wave could rush past and you’d be none the wiser, too wrapped up in the way his dark eyes searched yours for something unknown. The warmth that radiated off of him soothed your nerves, until all of the shakes that had previously been wracking your body petered off.

“M’sorry sweetheart, you shouldn’t have had to see that nonsense,” Joel said after a while, giving you another once over before he grabbed your seat belt and buckled you in.

Normally if any man would have buckled you in, you would’ve lost it. But with Joel, it didn’t feel like infantilization. You weren’t even sure he was aware he had done it. The act was simply a part of his programming, the stress of the previous encounter making him move entirely on autopilot. At first you stayed silent, overwhelmed by his proximity and the feeling of his fleeting touch drifting away as he started to lean back out of the cab, but the void that his absence left broke you. Without even thinking about it, you grabbed his bicep, the thick muscles making you shiver as you felt them tense under your palm.

“Thank you Joel,” you said softly, the sound of it almost getting lost under the hum of traffic, “I’m not… I don’t have anyone, or really anything except for my house and my job. This was… kind, more kind than someone like me deserves. Thank you.”

Joel stared at you for another moment, his brow furrowed like he was trying to work out some sort of equation before he said, “Don’t be ridiculous,” and slammed the door in your face.

The silence was deafening as Joel walked over to the driver’s side, the sting of rejection coming back with a vengeance. You couldn’t understand why he would shut you down like that, especially after risking an assault charge just because some asshole called you a slut. Embarrassment nipped at the heels of his rejection, warming your cheeks as you tried not to think about the visceral reaction you had to his touch just moments before. Joel was just being nice, that’s all there was to it. He wasn’t your lover, he wasn’t your friend, he wasn’t anything other than the neighbour who his kids happened to like. To hope for more was ridiculous.

The second that the door to the driver’s side was yanked open, you looked ahead, not wanting to make the situation anymore weirder than it had to be. Joel eased himself into his seat, fumbling with his own seatbelt for a second before he started the engine. Without another word, he backed out of the parking space, even placing his hand behind your seat in a way you couldn’t help but find attractive. Every inch of the tiny space already smelled of Joel, but with his chest inches from your face and his musk in your nose, you suddenly longed for the walk home you had originally feared.

The ride home was quiet, neither of you saying a word as the truck sped towards your culdesac. Joel fiddled with the radio a bit, putting on an oldies station that played stuff like Johnny Cash and Hank Williams to fill the silence. Meanwhile, you tried hopelessly to wipe some of the makeup off of your face, all while a few more tears slipped through to ruin the little bit of progress you made. Groaning as the final stretch of the ride came into view, you decided to give up on the task altogether. Soon you would be home, where the makeup remover awaited you in the upstairs bathroom.

You sighed as Joel turned down your street, longing for comfier clothes and a pillow to suffocate yourself with. He turned into your driveway, ignoring your half-assed attempts to assure him that you were perfectly capable of walking across the street as he parked. Instead, he jumped out of the truck and rushed over to your door, yet again surprising you as he held it open.

“Um, thanks,” you said, feeling particularly shy as he led you towards the front of the house.

Joel said nothing in return, his meaty hand pressed into the small of your back again as the two of you walked up the pathway. He followed you all the way to the porch, only dropping his hand back down to his side the second you were in reach of the door knob. But you didn’t grab the handle, too busy staring up at him with your lip caught between your teeth. His words - Don’t be ridiculous - played over and over inside of your head, until all you could focus on was the hot sting that thickened the lining of your throat. He didn’t waiver when a fresh line of tears clouded your vision, steady in the storm as per usual, and you suddenly wondered how he could stand being in the presence of someone so emotional.

“He’s not worth your tears honey,” Joel said after a moment, his tone laced with something akin to affection, “You’re too pretty, too good, and way too fucking smart to be datin’ a dumbass like him. Whoever gets to take you out on a date should thank their lucky stars, not be a dick.”

The words were like a shock to your system, making your mouth fall open. He sounded almost wistful, like it should be him taking you out on the town and not someone like Brad, but that couldn’t be. Joel had already made it perfectly clear that he didn’t consider himself someone you could count on, so why would he say something so charming? Was he trying to further complicate your night or was he simply trying to stop you from crying? It had to be the latter.

“I don’t know what to say Joel,” you confessed.

He shook his head, staring down at his feet for another second before he looked back up at you.

“Ain’t nothing to say, I’m just stating facts,” Joel said, pausing as his own words made him so flustered that he had to clear his throat so he could continue with, “Uh, you got anything other than beer in that fridge of yours? That meal you were picking at wouldn’t even be enough to feed a damn pigeon.”

“I’ve been here for over a month Joel, so luckily I’ve gotten the chance to fill up my fridge since move in day, but it’s good to know that you snooped through it,” you chuckled, some of the tension dissipating.

“Good, that’s uh… That’s good,” Joel breathed, shifting uncomfortably on his feet for another painfully awkward stretch of silence.

“Look, I really appreciate what you did for me today. I know that this was not how you probably wanted to spend your Thursday, but you don’t have to stay. I’m fine, everything is great. You can go back to the people you’ve got and I’ll go back to… Uh, this,” you laughed bitterly, “I mean, this is all I’ve got, right?”

The vague gesture you made towards the tiny home was pathetic, even to you, but you weren’t sure how else to get Joel to leave you be. He wanted to help, that much was clear, but his harsh words still hung above your head, shattering any illusion that the two of you could one day be friends. It had stung, but it was just the reality check that you needed. You were a big girl and your handsome neighbor could not be the answer to all of your problems.

“Oh sweetheart, that’s not what I m-”

“Good night Joel,” you cut in, not wanting to hear another word.

The weight of the day had caught up to you, pressing down on your shoulders as you swung open the door and closed it straight in Joel’s face. Perhaps it was harsh, but you were too tired and had been toyed with by far too many men as of late to care about his feelings. All you wanted was a steaming hot bath, a tub of ice cream, and perhaps a few rounds with the rabbit hidden in your nightstand before you promptly passed out. Was that so much to ask for?

Leaving Joel and all of his confusing sentiments behind, you trudged up the stairs, trying not to think about the fact that Brad’s words had meant absolutely nothing in comparison to your neighbour’s. In fact, you could care less what that asshole thought. What truly irked you was Joel and his flagrant disregard for your feelings one moment and his caring words the next. Nevertheless, you tried your best to tamp it all down, focusing instead on filling the tub with steaming hot water so that you could finally put the day to rest.

The next day came much too quickly and you found yourself thanking the universe that it was finally Friday. If things were slow, which they usually were given the fact that the local kids would rather be caught dead than in the library on their weekends, you decided that today would be the perfect day to sneak out a bit early. An extra large pizza, some beer, and one of your many rom coms called to you, forcing you to get out of bed with an exasperated grunt. It was much too late to go through your usual routine, so you quickly splashed some water on your face, hoping that the bit of mascara you put on afterwards would distract from the puffiness around your eyes. Forgoing pants, you threw on a semi professional violet dress that brushed your knees, the sweetheart neckline showcasing your collarbones perfectly. After pairing it with a strappy pair of heels and throwing a cardigan over your shoulder to combat the frigid AC in the library, you slipped out the front door.

The sun sat high in the sky, the heat of the day already well underway despite the fact that it was only eight o’clock in the morning, but that wasn’t what you noticed first. What you noticed first was the wrapped sandwich that sat on the porch swing, along with the small note that peeked out from beneath the iced coffee that was sweating under the morning heat. You approached the swing carefully, as if at any moment something might jump out at you. Before you had even read a single line, you knew who the gifts were from, and you weren’t sure you wanted to know why he had left them.

Figured you might need an extra boost this morning and Ellie told me what you liked at that fancy ass cafe in town.

You giggled, the first line of Joel’s note already breaking through the walls that you had tried to construct after leaving him on the porch the previous night.

There’s a barbecue at my house this Saturday and I’d love it if you came and I think you should come and meet some people. Plus, it would make the girls really happy if you came, they really like you and so do I.

If not, I understand, you probably already have weekend plans anyways but I thought I’d let you know. I also left my number in case you wanted to talk, in case anything came up. You never know when you might need someone.

Hope to see ya on Saturday,

Joel

(512) 765 - 9140

Although Joel had tried to cross out his original words, you saw straight through the thin layer of blue ink. He wanted you to come, despite everything that had happened the previous day. And not just that, but he had given you his number as well? To talk? You tried not to squeal like a schoolgirl. If that wasn’t enough to make you swoon, the fact that the cafe that you liked was on the other side of town, which meant that Joel went out of his way this morning to pick up your order, was enough to bring a giddy smile to your face. You shoved the note into your purse, standing a bit taller as you walked towards your car with a half melted iced coffee and a room temperature breakfast sandwich.

It didn’t matter to you that the taste was a bit off as you dug in, shifting your rust bucket into reverse and ignoring the way the engine clanged as you sped towards your last workday of the week. A handsome man had left you breakfast, along with a sweet note that tied a helium balloon to your heart and lifted it from the confines of your chest, and he didn’t even expect anything in return. By all regards, that was a win. So, as you sipped on the slightly watery coffee and inhaled the sandwich, you found yourself distracted by thoughts of Joel Miller and the barbecue he had invited you to.

Maybe you weren’t so alone after all.

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chahnniesroom · 1 year ago

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tenderness | chapter 3: inevitable

[noun] /ˈtendərnəs/

1. the quality of being gentle, kind, or loving

2. the feeling of pain, aching, or soreness

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don’t know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.

chapter word count: 3.5k

chapter warnings: arguing, implied that reader doesn't have a good relationship with her family

a/n: this is the first chapter with mixed pov! time to see some things from chan's perspective :)

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The first time that you had watched Channie's Room in person, it was an accident. You had had dinner with Chan and lost track of time until a reminder had popped up on his phone. You had started cleaning up all your things when he had shyly suggested that you stay and watch. Technically, Chan doesn’t need any staff with him as he does Channie’s Room, but occasionally if they were being done in his studio then someone would sit in. After so many episodes, he’s trusted enough to know what he can and can’t do on stream and he doesn’t require any technical support.

It was fun for you, watching him interact with Stays and enjoy music. These streams were fanservice, but you knew Chan well enough by now to be able to tell that he was genuinely enjoying himself. After his customary sign-off and making sure that the stream was actually over, he had turned to you and asked what you thought. You had told the truth, that you liked being able to see this side of him, and that since he was clearly enjoying himself, you enjoyed watching too. It was different to be in-person and you had to make sure that you didn’t laugh at any of Chan’s reactions or the comments that were sent in, especially when he read out a few cheesy pick up lines and quickly glanced over to where you sat.

You weren’t sure if your presence made a difference for him- he had only looked at you a couple times during the stream- so you figured that it’d be a one time thing. But the next week when you were at your desk, you got a text.

[8:14pm - received]

Hey Y/n

I’m planning on doing Channie’s Room in 15 min

[8:14pm - sent]

okay! Have fun :)

[8:15pm - received]

Want to come watch? No pressure if you’re busy though haha

[8:15 - sent]

Oh! Sure, I’ll be down in a second!!

It had gone about the same as the first time. You didn’t say anything and he didn’t acknowledge you during the hour and a half that he was live for. Still, every week you would get a text and every week you find yourself in a chair in the corner of his studio, carefully out of sight from the camera.

—

This Sunday is similar to every other, you have the stream pulled up on your phone with the sound turned off, watching as the comments fly past. He’s eating dinner, even though it’s well past the time that you would consider to be acceptable for dinner. You catch yourself smiling at how excited he is for each bite and have to school your expression in case he happens to look over.

A notification pops up overtop of the video and you freeze.

You come back to yourself when Chan calls out your name. When you blink, you’re still looking at your phone, but the video is blank. The stream is over and you didn’t even realise.

“Y/n, is everything okay?”

“Oh nothing, just saw a weird comment and it caught me off guard,” you laugh.

“What did it say?” Chan asks, instantly concerned.

“Nothing, it’s not important. It wasn’t even anything, I promise.”

And really, it’re true. It was just a text with a date and time. After all, how could you say that it was a text from your eomoni that caused such a strong reaction? It would just lead to more and more questions and you’s not in the mood to deal with that. You know you'll have to bring up your family with Chan eventually, but you don’t know how he’ll react and you don’t know what you’d say anyway.

For now, you paste on a smile and promise that you’ll tell him tomorrow when the time is right.

—

A couple weeks later, it was a rare evening that all the members plus yourself were available to have dinner at the dorms. Minho had taken advantage of an afternoon free of schedules and used the time to prepare a feast of bossam, kimchi jjigae, dubu jorim, as well as a spread of banchan.

Eventually the topic shifts from work related to the upcoming time off they had for Chuseok. They go around the table, sharing their plans, even though everybody knew what to expect. You had talked to most of the boys beforehand and knew they were going to visit their families, while Chan and Felix were keeping each other company at the dorms. By extension, that meant you were also going to be staying at the dorms, something you were more than happy to do.

When the conversation makes it around to you, you are somewhat preoccupied with scooping some more rice and tofu into your bowl. Felix playfully nudges both you and Chan while asking, “Any special plans, you two?”

“Nothing,” Chan replies at the exact same time that you grimace and say, “dinner with my family.”

The whole table stills as the boys look between the two of you and Chan noticeably stiffens. They've never heard the conversations you've had with Chan about meeting your parents, but the lack of information you've shared with them is likely telling enough.

You determinedly mash together everything in your bowl, trying to ignore the stares from everyone and the way your cheeks are heating up.

"We celebrate Chuseok together every year. I'm- I'm required to attend," you mutter into your food.

"That sounds nice. You don't see them often, right?" Felix says cautiously, breaking the tense silence that has settled over the table.

"I-" Before you can finish, Chan abruptly stands up, pushing his chair away from the table. He heads straight toward the door, slinging a coat over his shoulders and shoving his feet into shoes.

"I'm going to the studio." Is the only explanation he gives before the door is swinging shut behind him.

Your knuckles turn white around the handle of your spoon. The braised tofu in your bowl has been turned to paste and though it smelled good a few minutes ago, your appetite has vanished.

You knew that your Chuseok plans would eventually have to be brought up, but you had been dreading it. Even if you had never mentioned anything, it sat as a heavy weight on your shoulders for the past few days. You had spent hours trying to think of the right things to say, but had never built up the courage to talk to him. You knew he really valued family connections in a way that you never would. Chan's curiosity about your family paired with his close relationship with his own had left a bitter taste in your mouth that prevented you from speaking up any time the two of you were alone. You had hoped that it wouldn’t be a big deal, but clearly that wasn’t the case.

You definitely regretted it now. Practically anything would have been better than him finding out in front of the rest of the members because you had absent-mindedly spoken.

You close your eyes for a second before also rising from the table.

"I'll go after him," you say breathlessly. "I'm sorry for… that. I should have talked to him before. I- I'm sorry. Thank you for dinner, Minho-ssi. Sorry."

You bow quickly to avoid making eye contact with anybody and quickly gather your bowl and utensils. Chan had left his phone on the table in his rush to leave, so you grab that too and pocket it. Once you put everything down on the counter, you stand over the sink and massage your forehead. You really didn't want to have to talk to Chan, but knew he was like you and would be stuck in his head if left alone for too long.

You can hear the boys starting to talk to each other in low voices and that is enough for you to force yourself towards the door.

—

When you finally make it to Chan's studio and inch open the door, he's already on his laptop with his headphones on. Either he doesn't notice your entry or is trying to ignore it, but he's not actively working on anything, just staring blankly at an unfinished track.

When you say his name, he startles and jerks his arm, making his cursor skitter across his computer screen.

He half pulls off his headphones while turning towards you, but pauses when he recognizes who's at the door.

"I'm sorry," you say immediately, stepping further into the room. "I-"

"I don't want to talk right now." Chan cuts you off, shaking his head and turning back to his laptop to continue glaring at the track he has open.

You don't know what to do, so you edge back towards the exit. You're just reaching for the handle when he calls out.

"Were you ever going to tell me?" He's still not looking at you, fists clenched and his whole body tense. "Or was I just supposed to find out on the day of the dinner?"

"I was!" you say defensively. "Of course I was going to tell you! I've been meaning to for days, just haven't… haven't gotten around to it."

Chan swivels around and impatiently gestures towards his couch and you quickly take a seat, acutely aware that this puts you directly in front of him.

"Just tell me? No invitation? Not even going to give me a choice to say if I want to go?" he presses. You shrink into yourself as he continues on, not even giving you time to respond. "I introduced you to my family, even though they're in Australia. You met my sister in person! I don’t know a thing about your family other than that you have one. Do your parents even know about me?"

"They know," you say in a small voice, but don’t elaborate further. Chan doesn't look satisfied by your response, frustratedly running a hand through his hair. He blows out an angry breath and his posture suddenly deflates.

"I just- I don't get it. Is it me? Are you embarrassed to introduce me to your parents?" Chan asks, sounding defeated.

"It's not you-"

"I just don’t understand. Is it because- I know that being an idol is unconventional, but-"

“No, it’s not that,” you interrupt before he can spiral further.

“Then… why?”

"It's not- Chan-oppa, there's nothing wrong with you. Or you being an idol. You're fine. You're perfect. It's me," you say miserably, voice hoarse, "I just, I didn't- I don’t want you to have to see the kind of person I am when I'm with them. I don't like how I am, who I am when I'm around my family."

You bury your face into your hands and swallow hard to try and remove the lump that has formed in your throat. When Chan settles beside you on the couch and wraps an arm around your shoulders, you soften, both at his presence and the warm buzz of the charge.

"I'm sorry," he says gently. "I shouldn't have pushed so much."

"No, I should have told you," you reply, voice muffled by your hands. "I knew I had to tell you."

His hands enclose around your wrists and carefully pry them away from your face. When you open your eyes, you see that he has leaned forwards to try to look at you better.

“I just want to get to know you better. I want to get to know your family, your background. Please, let me in.” He looks so young like this, earnestly looking at you.

In response, you tip forward and rest your forehead on his shoulder. Although you normally avoid skinship like this, especially at the company, anything was better than seeing his concerned but confused expression. You want to tell him everything, but how can you explain the twisted and complicated relationship that you have with your family? What words could describe the facade that you have created to pretend you're not affected by their disappointment?

"I promise, I'll tell you everything eventually. I just need some more time, okay?" you ask hesitantly. Chan agrees immediately. "I want to talk to the boys too. I know they must also have questions. Can we? Have a meeting tonight?"

—

Y/n decides that she wants to tell the group all at once to avoid having to repeat herself and Chan is secretly relieved. It’s not that he doesn’t like one-on-one conversations, but he hopes that the rambunctious nature of the other members lightens the mood. He’s looking forward to getting any information he can about Y/n’s family, his not-so-subtle attempts to learn even a little bit about them have been fruitless thus far.

As Chan and Y/n make their way back to the dorms, he texts the group chat to gather in the living room. By the time they make it back, everyone has crammed themselves on the couches, leaving an empty space on the loveseat for the two of them.

Y/n takes a deep breath to steady herself.

When she says her parents’ names, Chan doesn't recognize either, but Changbin's head immediately shoots up and he lets out an "Oh shh-" that's quickly cut off by a well placed elbow of Minho. Y/n makes a face at that.

"Yeah," she says, clearly unsurprised by Changbin's reaction, but resigned. On the other side of Minho, Jisung speaks up.

"I don't get it, is he famous?" He also receives an elbow to the stomach, to which he whines, "Hyunggg, that hurt!"

“Be sensitive.” Minho scolds. Y/n laughs at that, but there’s no humour in the sound.

“No, it’s okay. I get that you guys are curious,” she says. “My parents aren’t famous, but they are well known in some circles. You guys know the hospital that Hyunjin goes to for check-ups of his hand?”

Everyone nods at that. Even Felix is familiar with that hospital, as he’s gotten treatment there when he injured his back. Chan himself has visited a few times regarding various injuries or procedures. The hospital is large, fairly new, but most importantly, has a reputation for being discrete. It’s definitely a favourite for idols who don’t want to take the chance and be photographed or have personal information shared.

“Your parents are doctors?” Seungmin prompts.

“My abeoji is. My brother too,” Y/n confirms. “But he also… My abeoji owns the hospital.” She looks down at her hands as she says it, as if scared to see what the reactions of everyone will be. Chan feels like his brain is short circuiting and can't get himself to do anything but stare.

"Noona, does that mean you're loaded?" Jisung asks, eyes wide. Minho immediately turns on him, but Y/n shocks them all by laughing loudly at that.

"I wouldn't say I'm loaded. My parents definitely are though."

“That’s awesome! What’s wrong with that then?”

“Well, you know how Asian parents are. They had certain expectations for me, for my future that I didn’t meet. They didn’t exactly approve of me deciding to go into the entertainment industry, so we’re… not close. I see them twice a year, Seollal and Chuseok.”

Chan can sympathise with that, although his parents have always been supportive of him, even when he was a trainee and they were worried or didn’t understand why he never gave up, a lot of families weren’t the same.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Felix says. He stands and pulls Y/n into a tight hug, which she melts into. It soon becomes a group huddle as everyone joins in, surrounding Y/n in love.

“We’ll be your family, Y/n,” Chan promises, and everyone else murmurs their agreement. He pretends not to see the tears that gather in the corners of Y/n’s eyes.

—

A couple days after Y/n’s announcement, Changbin knocks on Chan's studio door.

"Hey," he says when Chan rolls over on his chair and opens the door. "Just wanted to talk to you about Chuseok."

"Okay," Chan says slowly. "What about it?"

“Are you going to Y/n’s family dinner?”

“Yeah, that’s the plan.”

"What are you planning to wear?" Changbin asks bluntly.

"Uhh." Even though Chuseok has basically sat in the back of Chan’s mind for the past few days, haunting him every time he has two seconds to think, he hadn’t even considered that aspect of it. He’s been too occupied worrying constantly about not knowing what to expect and yet not wanting to talk to Y/n about it. "I don't know, something nice?"

"Yeah, you have about 10 outfits, all of them are black, and almost half of them are hoodies. Do you know what Y/n is wearing?" Chan grimaces at that.

"I didn't even know that she was going until a few days ago man, of course I don't know what she's wearing."

"Listen, hyung. Her family… I don't know them personally, but I think you need to either talk to her about it or make arrangements to borrow clothes from a stylist."

"Borrow clothes from a stylist?" Chan laughs incredulously. "Can't I just buy something myself?"

"I mean you can do whatever you want," Changbin says, putting his hands up in surrender. "Be my guest to buy designer brand formal wear that I'm pretty sure you'll only wear once since you'll have to have something else for the next time you see them."

“Designer formal wear?” Chan repeats. “What am I, going to a wedding? This is a dinner with just her immediate family, do you really think they would care that much?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I just think that they’d be the type to really value appearances. Clothing is one part of that. Just… Talk to Y/n, okay? I want things to go well for you and I know that you want to make a good first impression.”

“I- okay,” Chan acquiesces. He trusts that Changbin’s just coming from a good place even though he dreads having to talk to Y/n about this. “I’ll bring it up.”

—

A week before Chuseok, Y/n knocks on their bedroom door while Chan’s trying to work at his desk. By the time he’s taken off his headphones and has started standing, she’s managed to get the door open and enters. Even after his conversation with Changbin, Chan still hasn’t been able to broach the topic of Chuseok with Y/n again, even though it’s been occupying his mind an increasing amount. He feels a rush of relief when he sees that she’s carrying two garment bags, lifted above her head to prevent them from dragging on the ground.

“This is for you,” she says, thrusting the larger of the bags in Chan’s direction. He peels it open carefully to find a black suit with golden details embroidered into it. The jacket is more traditional, the design is clearly a modern version of a hanbok, and the fabric of all the pieces look luxuriously thick. Without even trying it on, he can tell that the outfit has been tailored to his dimensions. It’s beautiful.

“Is this for-”

“Chuseok? Yes. My eomoni is… particular about what people wear. You’ll look good in this.” Y/n assures him.

“What are you wearing?” he asks, curious about the second bag that Y/n had hung up while he was inspecting his.

“You’ll find out later. Don’t worry, I won’t be outshining you.” she replies playfully.

“Hey!” Chan laughs. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I know, it’s just fun to tease.”

Chan carefully places the clothes back into the garment bag and zips it up to hang in his closet. He’s dealt with his fair share of expensive clothes, most of which have to be treated with extreme caution as they have to be returned at the end of the day, but this feels different. Not only is it now his to keep, but it’s also one of the first gifts that he’s exchanged with Y/n, giving it special significance.

He knows this gift is more than just clothes. It also represents Y/n opening up, letting him into this side of her life that she’s kept to herself for so long.

“Y/n,” he says, waiting until she makes eye contact. “Thank you.”

“No worries,” she says, cheeks pinkening. She looks down at the ground. “It’s the least I can do, you’re going to have to put up with my family for an evening.”

Chan doesn’t know what to make of finally meeting them, Y/n’s mentions of them have been sporadic and cryptic at best. He’s desperate to learn more about her and he knows that her family, although distant now, likely played a key role in the way that you conduct yourself. But over time, and especially these past few days, he’s growing more wary of what he might learn. He just can’t understand how someone as kind, soft, and thoughtful as Y/n could have such a stilted relationship with her family.

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pitter-patt-art · 5 months ago

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Ace Attorney AU August (halfway progress update!)

Okay technically it's the 16th (lol, 17th by the time this is done) so a little over halfway actually, but still I thought since I haven't had anything finished to post the past few days this would be a fun alternative!

I've been going a little nuts (affectionate) over @augustwritingchallenge's AU-gust prompts list this year so August has been a wild ride (about 40k words of one, in fact. so far.) but seeing as I will get attached to even the jokiest of AU ideas instantly, I've completed* a whopping 5 whole fics of 16, lol. Considering the shortest of those is over 3k and the longest is over 12k, I think the problem with not finishing these in a timely manner is entirely on my verbose foolish thick skull, haha, but I'm still having a blast with it.

Here is my ao3 series where I'm posting!

And a rundown / progress report / quick teaser of all the AUs including those I've yet to finish, if anyone's interested:

(*by "completed" I should note two of the already posted fics are basically assuredly going to be continued past the challenge, but let's say "completed enough to post and be on theme")

1. Canon Divergence - complete - 4.5k words ("For the Murder of Mr. Wrong" link)

Mia POV, gen. What if Dahlia succeeded in poisoning Phoenix and framed Doug Swallow instead (and then Mia defended him in court)? Basically a 3-1 rewrite. Fun Fact: I only came up with this AU because before I even remembered AU-gust existed at all, I'd come up with like 4 totally separate AUs in which I poison Phoenix in various ways With Real Consequences because it amuses me, lol, but he survives all those other ones and I eventually realized I hadn't even considered straight up killing him off yet so I figured I should try it at least once, haha.

2. Colorless - complete 1st chapter - 3.2k words ("Grey Matters" link)

Phoenix POV (for 1st ch --prob alternating after), wrightworth. "You can't see color until the first time you touch your soulmate"-soulmate AU. 1st chapter is their first meeting as kids (skipping the class trial itself). Fun Fact(s): I really love a color soulmate AU! Big fan of the "only see the color of their eyes" type of one too but uhhh on top of that working better for things that have wild anime eye colors, you could not pay me enough to try to figure out what the HELL is going on with Ace Attorney eye colors at any given time lmfao. (Also--spoilers for what i haven't written yet but hey if you're here you earned it--this IS one of my very many "teehee what if i poison Phoenix just a smidge as a treat for me" fics. NOT my fault the man ATE GLASS. That's on him.)

3. Dark Academia - complete "1st chapter" - 4.4k words ("The Spirit of the Laws of Magic" link)

Mia POV, lanamia. Magical boarding school setting featuring corruption and missing-student conspiracies and a most likely overthought system of magic with hierarchies and prejudices in societal views of academic/formulaic vs folk/innate magic. Fun Fact: I really thought for SURE i was going to skip this day entirely, lol. (foolish.) I don't think i've actually ever personally read anything "dark academia", technically--so if this doesn't read EXACTLY that way, there you go, but i did my best. I also then thought I could live with keeping this vague but I accidentally thought about it too long so... plus at least two people on top of myself at this point have expressed interest in more of this and so I have some semi-concrete Plans™ now.

4. Zombie Apocalypse - conceptualized (but not started)

Concept: probably gen and Phoenix POV, but also because I'm me and they're them, at least a little bit wrightworth even if it isn't necessarily explicit in any meaningful way bc they are Not Normal about each other lol. A little sketchy on how much of an "AU" this counts for, since it could probably be argued to be canon compliant somehow, but basically just: Universe where they make a Pride and Prejudice and Zombies-type Steel Samurai reboot movie thing (featuring, you guessed it, zombies), and Miles comes over and forces Phoenix to watch it with him just to have someone to bitch about it at, and then during that time Maya blows her way into Phoenix's apartment as well with the exact same intentions except her "day job" isn't quite as time-sensitive-strict so she's already finished watching it earlier and knows all the spoilers. Honestly a good chance Phoenix and Pearl (who came with Maya) end up hiding out in the kitchen together to let Maya and Miles rile each other up in front of the TV, but I'm never exactly sure where they'll take me once I wind them up and set them loose on the page, so who knows. I also hadn't necessarily determined the exact time frame yet but for it to make sense as a reboot-type movie/special episode/whatever it probably should be 7yg-or-later so Trucy may or may not be there as well. (That said, in my struggles to complete an actually short one-shot, I probably shouldn't even include Pearl let alone Trucy, lol.) Fun Fact: I also thought I'd skip this day bc I'm not the biggest zombie guy in the world, and to be fair, I managed to do Way Less with it than the dark academia prompt so, yippie?

5. Chess Players - incomplete (currently 3k word WIP)

Miles POV, wrightworth. Miles is a chess grandmaster and back in Japanifornia for the upcoming world cup tournament, but his greatest challenge is actually to FINALLY best Franziska in their annual who-can-get-the-best-Christmas-gift competition. Luckily, he just so happened to hear of an artist who makes bespoke chess sets, so the plan is to get a custom board made for Franziska without her finding out. The plan is not to get trapped in a weird art collective labyrinth with some model-photographer named Cindy who keeps hitting on him but also happens to be protective of the artist he's there to see because "she and her boyfriend kinda-sorta owe him big time", but this is what he gets for coming here without doing any extra research into the artist besides seeing his work and hearing only "his name is White, or, eh, something like that, you know how those artist types are" from Mr. Amano. (AU where we replace law with chess and no I don't think Phoenix could necessarily hack it in the top-world-grandmasters-level of chess tournaments HOWEVER have you considered he DID go to art school so what if he just tries selling custom chess sets until somehow that reconnects him with Miles. Is that somehow a more insane plan than studying law? Maybe. Did Manfred still shoot Gregory but now it was over fucking chess? Maybe. Idk. But I did let Greg live this time at least!) Fun Fact: we can all DEFINITIVELY blame my lovely, terrible, very wonderful friend Ben (shameless friend plug! she's an outstanding writer and has some AA fics of her own too!! @kindlystrawberry on tumblr!!) for making a total joke about "well what about au where they make chess pieces instead" while i lamented not knowing enough about chess to write an actual match and spawning this ENTIRE concept. It is her fault. 100%. She is the guilty party. (I want to finish this one VERY BADLY. Save me.)

EVIDENCE!!!!! Guilty.

6. Reality Show - incomplete (currently 700 word WIP)

Phoenix (& Franziska) POV(s), background wrightworth wedding planning going on as set up but it's also definitely just one of my many excuses to set Phoenix and Franziska up as bitchy worsties who can't admit they enjoy each other's company and will cut you down if you suggest it as such. So far I've only written the quote "set-up" section which is in Phoenix's POV, but that was SUPPOSED to be like 5 paragraphs and cut away and then lead into my actual plan for the main body, which was to be in Franz's instead, so. This is very similar to the zombie one in that it's them watching reality tv instead of being contestants on a show (I don't personally like or watch a lot of reality tv so my creative well was somewhat dry on how to make that work) and then I accidentally thought about Phoenix and Franziska watching something just to judge and tear apart the decisions of every person on it and that was too fun to not consider further, haha. Basically the plan is just they get left alone together and don't know what to do with that and end up wine-drunk and making fun of some reality dating show of some kind and Miles and Trucy come back to them losing it together over something stupid and are like "......uh. what's happening." Fun Facts: I really love the thought experiment of Franziska somehow discovering how often Phoenix's internal dialogue/reads on situations and especially people can be So Bitchy And Judgey despite his affable complexion, and her unfortunately finding his opinions to SOMETIMES be somehow slightly okay. Moderately correct, even--occasionally. I know the section she follows you-as-Phoenix around in T&T is really not long at ALL, but I adore it. There's something about it that so badly makes me want to force them into proximity more (to both their chagrin, I'm sure).

7. Farm/Ranch - complete - 12k words ("Two Little Dickey Byrdes" link)

Gumshoe POV, gumbyrde (tho i still think dickeybyrde is a funnier ship name). 5+1 things--except more like maybe 7-or-8+1 to be honest--so it's more: over 5 times Dick and Maggey sit on a wall together and 1 time they find someone else there instead. AKA: Dick runs his family's small farm (think fantasy farm like in a farming sim or maybe horse girl novel type of thing that has nothing to do with what a real farm is like lol don't worry about it) and Maggey starts working at the next farm over as the latest of her many odd jobs. Fun Fact: oh god this one got so far away from me. it was not supposed to be this long lmao. it's literally the elaborate set-up to a very silly Nursery-Rhyme-I-Didn't-Even-Know-About-Prior-To-This -based punchline!?! still, i was pleasantly surprised by how happy i was with this once it was done... two sittings and about 16 total hours later. haha).

8. Nomad - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Apollo (or possibly Klavier) POV, klapollo. Sort of Jove-Thalassa swap adjacent, but basically: AU where Jove survives the Khura'in fire but loses his memories for [contrived convince sake reasons]. (And also possibly loses some or all of his eyesight just to really go for the parallels?) Therefore: Jove and Apollo stay with Dhurke and Nahyuta and the Defiant Dragons for a time, while Jove recovers, but eventually they leave and head out on their own, just the two of them, and do the traveling musician thing, both because it's dangerous in Khura'in and Dhurke already canonically didn't want Apollo to get caught up in it and potentially get hurt to begin with and because with a functioning actual parent Apollo doesn't need to be taken in by him--and also Jove from what little we know seems like he prefers to be on the move and was already a world traveler anyhow, so even amnesiac maybe he gets a little antsy stuck in one place too long. And so like amnesiac Thalassa, Jove thusly becoming a renowned mysterious musician--and then Apollo, sweet tone deaf Apollo, becoming the sonager of all time (like a momager but...you get it) because he's not that into music but he IS into arguing for better conditions/making deals (contracts!! international legalese!! woohoo!!) with venues and promoters and stuff. And then--oops dang Lamioir still exists and now they have a meet-cute (2 electric bugaloo) (but by then it's later enough Trucy still exists because it will be a cold day in hell when I don't find a way to make her work) and they do music collabs or join up to form a group or whatever and OOPS this means now that Apollo and Jove are with Lamioir when The Gavinners / Klavier specifically meet her and get her to come to do the Guitar's Serenade concert eventually. And Apollo and Klavier ofc thusly also have a meet-cute and then talk and bond etc etc. AND THEN the au STOPS THERE and I DON'T think about how without Apollo Phoenix is totally getting convicted of Zak's murder because there's no way that trial works out as well for him with some other attorney and I also don't think about how reasonable it would then be that maybe Trucy ends up helping Valant with his work setting up the trick for the concert afterward on account of the one father in prison and the other being dead and having left behind a notarized confession clearing Valant's name of suspicion, etc. AND I DEFINITELY do not think about how i could then still so easily get everyone in one place at the concert for Turnabout Serenade and/or any possible funny Sibling (And Thalassa) Reveal that could happen i dont i dont i do not--

9. Accidental Baby Acquisition - conceptualized (not started)

Gen, possibly my weakest / least defined idea on this list, but basically: Phoenix kind of already lives this in canon, lol (insomuch as an 8yo counts as a baby) so I thought, well, how to take it a different direction, then? And I thought, I don't usually go for a Phoenix Fey kind of au because I personally really love the relationships he has with all the Feys as-is in canon and so it's not quite as funny to me as, say, a Miles Fey AU where like Misty and Gregory are married, or any of the ones in that bent, because I'm sorry but that's just SO funny (and sad, but mostly funny) any way you slice it--plus his NAME is RIGHT THERE mia-miles-maya he FITS--anyhow, that completely aside, there are just a lot of reasons I really love the platonic relationships the Feys already have with Phoenix and I don't think it NEEDS to be made specifically familial to still be so very important, y'know? BUT. That said. AU where Phoenix is idk abandoned as a baby or maybe his parents die young or something and it's like a Thing to leave babies at temples or churches or whatever, right? So like--Phoenix adopted by the Feys AU but only because the more i considered it the more i thought it would be WILD for him to literally know Maya her entire life, and it's fascinating to me to consider a Maya who ISN'T basically left all alone to her own devices (and Morgan's) and who has someone absolutely in her corner in the village the entire time even after Mia leaves (who isn't a baby when Mia leaves, love you tho Pearls), AND also and perhaps more importantly, the ships-passing-in-the-night-ness of a scene where, like: Morgan does something sketchy or whatever and Phoenix wants to keep Mia updated but for whatever reason decides to go down to the city and actually tell her in person and so he's waiting outside the courthouse or something (possibly part of or perhaps Most Of the reason he goes in person is because he knows her first courtroom trial is that day and he wants to see her + hear how it went) and when he gets there she's in a heated argument with some asshole in a fancy over-embellished jacket and once that guy leaves Phoenix is like "Sheesh, what's his problem?" You know???? And maybe he really would never even know!!!! Bc he grew up in Kurain!!!! And has no reason to care!!! About some random prosecutor who was mean to Mia!! Aaaah!!! So that, and on top of that, Diego would be there too ofc at that point, and I feel like he would ALSO be quite a funny interaction in this scenario. ("Wow, someone's popular, kitten, you have all sorts of guys waiting on a chance to talk to you, heh?" "Uh.--I'm sorry, WHAT did you just call her")

10. Enemies-to-Allies - incomplete (currently 370 word WIP)

Ema POV, faraskye. Cyberpunk AU where Lana is still under Gant's thumb and Ema, with no other way to stay close to her and getting rejected from any of the sorts of jobs she really wants to do, decides to just join the security force (or cyber police or w/e I decide to call it) and is tasked with hunting down the Yatagarasu, guerilla hacker supreme who is threatening the sanctity of the capitalist overlords. Except Ema's squad gets ambushed and she's captured and tied to a pole, and with her useless fop partner seemingly not coming to rescue her (if he even noticed her absence), she does some quick cost-benefit analysis and decides she didn't really like that job anyway and maybe there's another way she can get her sister back in her life. So she breaks free of her own handcuffs (which she definitely didn't modify into incidental ineffectiveness she's still testing for bugs) and helps fix the "Little Thief" device her captor seems to have broken despite how obviously valuable and impressive the tech is, and they eventually come to something of an agreement. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em, and all that. Either Ema as the hardware-engineer one and Kay as the software-programming one as the two sides of the tech coin, or else Kay can just be like doing the physical sneaking kind of spy stuff only--or maybe she knows a little about software but not so much she's a pro the way she is with infiltration and such. Possibly toying with the idea Kay herself is just completely an android, but if not, I think she has some cybernetic cyborg things going on regardless. Possibly from or inspired by her father? I also like the idea that Gant did something maybe more drastic with regards to having dirt on Ema to get Lana to do his bidding--like maybe Ema has a whole cybernetic hand because instead of just her handprint on a leather jacket, Gant has some sicko jar with her entire hand in it in his office safe, or something. I don't know why this would be useful to him but it is certainly an image. I also find it funny if Miss Fingerprint Powder Enthusiast doesn't actually have any fingerprints of her own anymore somehow in this AU, lol.

11. Retail Worker - complete - 6.7k words ("The Bake Anything Boulangerie" link)

Apollo POV, gen. Phoenix gets a job at a bakery instead of the Borscht Bowl Club during the 7 year gap, and Apollo happens to stumble across it and ends up meeting the Wrights while he's still in high school. He becomes a regular at the bakery and is already close to them by the time "Shadi Smith's" murder comes around. And also, yes, sibling reveal right away--at least as soon as Phoenix realizes and can reveal it. As a treat. (Other reveals, though, I might put poor Apollo through on a delayed basis. Also as a treat, lmao, just not one for him.) Fun Fact: I'm being redundant bc this is also in my a/n, but, Baker Phoenix lives rent-free in my brain because Professor Layton vs Phoenix Wright was in fact the very first Ace Attorney game I ever played, technically, and Maya and Phoenix semi-brainwashed in that bakery was literally one of my first impressions of them. ........followed immediately by starting a let's play of Justice for All (which i watched through the first case, after which I was like oKAY fine maybe i DO need more context here, i should probably figure out what the actual first game is, and went back to start the series properly at the beginning hahaha). What do you MEAN i have a disproportionate fascination with amnesiac Phoenix, even if I have yet to finish and publish one of my myriad AUs that utilize stupid, unrealistic, plot convenient re-temporary amnesia?? Hm???? Idk what you're talking about. Also everyone who complains about 2-1 is wrong lmao it's objectively (okay subjectively is what i'm saying yes BUT objectively) such a funny place to start without knowing broad plot strokes, it's great. I both knew so much and absolutely shit-all nothing about Maya after PLvPW and 2-1, LMAO. god.

12. Animagus Wings (Joker) - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Miles POV, wrightworth. Angel/Demon AU, except I'm playing super fast and loose with the rules on that because all my knowledge of Christian-mythos comes from firstly and unknowingly the Chronicles of Narnia and more recently and cognizantly Lucifer (Netflix) and Good Omens. I know that's probably more or less what we're all doing with this kind of AU but still, I'm not even sure I want to refer to Heaven and Hell here, I'm kinda on the fence about maybe just keeping it all very vague? I also accidentally semi-worldbuilt more than i intended incidentally on account of "But Then How-Why Names If Angelic Creatures?" Format-wise it would semi-follow gomens s1 where it's hopping through some meetings between long stretches but also a kind of pre- and post- Fall type of thing? And potentially à la Lucifer becoming, like, these are My Mortal Humans and i will be Spending Time With Them, screw you celestial duties, I'm making my own Free Will, etc. And i mean i guess Lucifer is also a crime procedural lmao maybe they still solve crimes in the end too. Fun Fact: I didn't want to do the original prompt for several reasons, and sure fuck jkr is one of them but even before I knew about her I still wasn't really the biggest hp person in the first place? So i wouldn't know/don't remember at all the way it works without having to do the specific research and i...don't want to haha. Hence. And I know the prompt seems to be using it loosely / might just be borrowing the word and not actually referencing hp specifically but tbh either way human-animal shifter things just in general I can be somewhat picky about haha. (Okay okay plus full disclosure the ONLY idea I have for this sort of thing actually ties into my day-3-dark-academia-extended-au-verse and i COULD make my life simpler by just connecting the two days but Heh who would I be if I simplified things for myself... *sigh*) All that to say: I saw "wings" on the wild card list and I thought, ooh, well that's still sort of a related concept! Let's tag that one in! So it's still kind of day 12 prompt-adjacent, if you squint.

13. Found Footage - incomplete (planned/outlined)

Video Transcript POV? Is that a thing? Possibly capped by a little Phoenix POV (but i don't want that to get too long), wrightworth. Larry's new girlfriend of the month bakes weed brownies and Larry does not realize this and swings by the Wrights' apartment to beg some kind of help off Phoenix and forgets the whole tray there somehow (because it's Larry) and they leave to deal with Larry's thing and by the time they figure the brownies out, in some twist of fate Miles and Trucy have been hanging out (last minute babysitter/adult supervision? but she's at the very very least 14 or 15 here and most likely older, and Nick clearly isn't the most strict about like uhhh supervision in general lol sooo idk. he's helping her with a project or smth. it doesn't really actually matter; he's THERE, that's the important thing.) The point I'm very clearly getting at is they accidentally get incredibly high (not dangerously so because I'm not going that far haha but also, neither of them has actually been high before, so they are Affected) before Phoenix finds out what was in the brownies and tries to warn Trucy and hurry home to like, dispose of them or at least put a warning label on them or whatever, but he is too late lol. By a lot. Definitely an underage drugs tag on this bad boy because it's definitely sometime 18-or-earlier for Trucy, let alone 21. (idk about other places but as a Californian I can tell you Japanifornia "LA" could theoretically have it legalized at 21 for anyone (like alcohol) and 18 with Dr's permission--which Trucy definitely does not have in this AU lol.) Basically, Phoenix grabs Trucy's phone to get photo evidence so he can let them never live this down (after making sure they're okay lmao), but he ofc doesn't get technology so he doesn't realize he leaves the phone still recording when Trucy asks him for something / needs his help, so the recording just keeps going and captures a lot of tomfoolery and eventually some inebriated-to-Extremely-sober Feelings-Adjacent confessions (or maybe more like allusions). Idk, this was actually a fic I thought of before August and wanted to use as an excuse to try a Weird Format for fun, but then i saw this was a prompt on the list and...well. Fun Fact: Cannabis was legalized in California on November 8, 2016 (the first election I could vote in!!! ......uh, rip. lol. but yeah babey I helped legalize weed at least!! gotta remember the positives), which means it was legal right in time for Miles' case(s) / Turnabout Goodbyes!!! Yay!! I mean, I suppose that's genuinely seriously one way to try to mitigate nightmares and manage insomnia--not that I think Miles Edgeworth would ever deign stoop so low as to use an aid to manage his severe PTSD and trauma symptoms, psshaw, who do you take him for? (Get these people some help lol. They all need so much therapy.)

14. Princes & Princesses - conceptualized (not started)

So I've been reading a lot (a LOT) of isekai and/or revenge reincarnation romance fantasy manhwas lately (like, oh, too many, hahaha. they're quite good and they're VERY popular in webcomics at the moment.) Soooo. Soft pitch: Apollo already gets slapped into so many wild backstories he's constantly trying to dodge in an effort to be just a Normal Guy, he's honestly, like, the PERFECT protagonist for one of these lmao. And tell me Kristoph doesn't make a perfect "Upstanding Duke" kind of persona, and Klavier couldn't be the "wild rake" younger brother no one expects much from, and all I'm saying is it wouldn't be that hard to contrive a reason Apollo tries to get Klavier to agree to a contract marriage the way all these stories go, lol. And also, something something, Apollo from the "real world" is an orphan/has an absent family (also like so many of these manhwa protagonists, lol) but then he gets to actually have one in his second life!! I'm such a sucker for that shit. Slightly harder pitch, and the reason I did not let myself actually start writing anything (...yet): so what if the actual plot of the "original romance novel" Apollo is familiar with from the "real world (Earth)" is actually about the slightly older generation and something something instead of admiring Phoenix as a defense attorney, it's just that he instead was Apollo's favorite "love interest" character (not, like, for himself, just the one he most liked to read about) in every way except what a blithering idiot he became when the author had him fall for the female lead--but BEFORE that, he's a cool information guild leader guy who seems like he's trying to work toward some way to improve conditions for commoners in the kingdom (but abruptly there are no more mentions of this after he gets involved with the lead, which is annoying). Aaaand... I guess what I'm saying is, Dahlia is the original female lead because she REALLY fits the whole White Lotus trope, and I'm thinking Klavier is the original male lead because A) hilarious, B) fits in with the idea there's more going on in the ACTUAL world Apollo ends up in that is written in such a way as to make things seem different in the novel (like, that Dahlia and Klavier are actually as nice as they seem and that the terrible things that happen around them are just the trials and tribulations of being main characters and not anything they're directly involved in). And Apollo, the character in the novel Apollo, is an adopted prince of Khura'in, but he's the sickly younger prince and of course not actually of the royal bloodline (and also a man, considering Khura'in is matrilineal), so Rayfa and Nahyuta are the ones the public and other nobles actually know and care about and deal with. But wait! As it so turns out, The Wright Anything Information Guild (I feel like the actual guild name CAN'T have their freaking name on it front and center lol but you get the idea) happens to know some other things that aren't really expanded on in the original novel, and might be key to preventing Apollo's death so he doesn't follow the path of the original story, and also idk maybe Apollo and Trucy are half-fae or something like that and instead of like Aw Yay Bracelet in this AU it's more of a secret Iron Shackle Tool That Will Hurt I Mean Totally-Definitely-Help Us Later (still, in a way, passed down to him by Thalassa, but more as, like... she's kind of a secret hostage and does not manage to hide pregnancy number one so Apollo's now also a secret hostage, but she manages to escape so they don't know about Trucy, only she didn't tell Apollo basically anything to "keep him as safe as possible" or w/e, and......) Well, anyway. It got away from me before I even really wrote anything, that's all.

15. Secretly Alien - unfinished (currently 2.6k WIP)

Trucy POV, gen. Apollo gets sick of very consistently always losing the card games they play at the Wright Anything Agency (usually and in the specific instance the fic starts, Bullshit/BS) and in a stroke of inspiration somehow ropes everyone into playing Among Us instead. ("What! It's still a game of trying to lie/trick everyone else--like you like!--but I actually stand a freaking chance, so we're playing this or I'm going home.") Yes. This is my Among Us AU. Hi. They play Among Us. I'm justifying this one as prime AU territory however because A) Among Us has to exist in this universe, and even more pressingly, B) I found a way to force Phoenix to have--for at least a period of time if not moving forward in perpetuity--an actual smartphone instead of a Nokia-type brick cellphone. Which even under the wild but somehow plausible considering Ace Attorney circumstances I contrived, is just automatically a complete AU lmao. Fun Fact: I am so mad this one wasn't just totally finished day-of, lol. Why I ever thought I could give myself run of an entire WAA 4-person conversation and NOT get instantly derailed is beyond me. (And I want to get the prosecutors there, too?? Someone take the characters away from me.) Anyway. No, I have not written ANY of the actual Among Us part yet. Sigh. Also I haven't personally played amogus since like, 2021? maybe? And I know (now) that it's been pretty updated since then, but, ehhh, I'm just gonna run off like, lockdown-era amogus rules and vibes, lol. If I can get to the game part.

16 - Hobby Drama - conceptualized

I'm going to go out of order this time to say: Fun Fact: I have ALWAYS wanted to write a Reddit-style fic!!! I absolutely love them and I've read some REALLY, really good ones, so I've always wanted to try my hand at it. So theoretically this is the perfect time to make that a reality and write a r/HobbyDrama subreddit fic, buuut I got stuck before starting because I'm torn on two possible routes to take it (I can easily foresee myself caving and just doing both lol). - Option 1: Steel Samurai fandom discourse, always a fun/funny thing to think about, definitely would enjoy having Maya and Miles post some stuff for that. - Option 2: courtroom law fandom discourse, because come ON, how are those galleries ALWAYS SO FULL. The little wiggling rabba-rabba onlookers have GOT to have investment in this shit. And why WOULDN'T they, honestly. I've seen those trials and I have, in fact, spent a Lot of time thinking about them, not that any posts I've made lately would reflect that in any way or anything. Like I know it's hard to tell, but if I can be invested in the Lawyers Fandom, who's to say the people in the courtrooms aren't????? And I LOVE an outsider POV fic actually, I think they're so fun. So anyway. Reddit fic. You will be mine. Just as soon as I can hone my energy

And, what the hell, since it's so late now by the time I complete this "Heh This'll Be So Quick To Throw Together" post, I'll include today's, too:

17 - Flower Shop - conceptualized (at work earlier today. lol)

AU where Daddy Hawthorne is like, 97% less shitty. And the Hawthornes have a flower shop instead of like a gemstone industry or whatever. And he takes both Dahlia and Iris with him instead of dumping one of his daughters at a fucking secluded mountain temple and seemingly forgetting about her forever. On second thought, maybe what I actually mean is he's like 999% less shitty, lmfao. Anyway, Iris POV, but Dahlia (while not a "nice" person by any stretch) is not pushed to such extremes or nearly as desperate as canon, so Valerie lives, Terry Fawles lives, Doug Swallow lives, and Dahlia gets to live a good life overall--because as much fun as I love using her as a villain, she's really such a product of the absolute worst circumstances and I really do find her interesting so I've been kind of wanting to explore her in a less cartoonishly evil light, haha. (Don't get me wrong, I do love the cartoonishly evil light too, but I like spicing things up sometimes.) Like, she does (more) normal teen rebellion things ("Look at my inappropriately older boyfriend, Dad" "I'm going to talk my way out of speeding tickets and petty shoplifting as a bid for attention" etc.) and she still totally orders Iris around and Iris still totally does whatever she asks very much to her own detriment and has to learn to break away and be her own person. Fun Fact: I have a very passionate love for Iris/Adrian Andrews. Is that. Um. Is that a ship anyone else has ever considered before? Is that just me? I'm not sure but very possibly I'll just make this a rarepair fic as a treat, for me alone, teehee. (Like... it's about the becoming the master of your own destiny it's about breaking out of codependent cycles it's about how I genuinely honestly think they'd be each other's type and have chemistry even though they've obviously never interacted lmao... idk what to tell you.)

AND THATS MY AU-GUST UPDATE POST!!!

If you made it this far, take a sprinkle of my undying affection, and may you be blessed with AU inspiration if you so desire it!! (If you do not desire it, hopefully you are not cursed with it. I do not take refunds if you are. Sorry.)

Wish me luck with completing some more fics soon!!! Unfortunately weekends are actually my least free time because I work the most and the earliest hours so I have less time and am more tired, but also on Wednesday I'm leaving for a family vacation, which will either be the BEST thing to happen in regards to AU-gust or the WORST thing lmfao. If nothing else I have 2 flights, and I actually Love writing on an airplane, so fingers crossed for it being Good. <3

EDIT: Now with part 2 for the rest of the month here!

#au gust 2024 #au gust #ace attorney #ace attorney spoilers #OH this post is so long. i did not. mean for that to happen. but i had fun with it and now I've got all my ideas in one place! yay #i kind of feel bad about clogging the tags though so idk what even TO tag lol #wrightworth #narumitsu #lanamia #gumbyrde #phoenix wright #miles edgeworth #mia fey #lana skye #larry butz #maya fey #dick gumshoe #maggey byrde #apollo justice #trucy wright #FUCK IT WE BALL im just tagging it all. i put enough time into this to justify clogging tags lol #i typed wrightworth so many times here despite liking narumitsu aesthetically more but in technicality im definitely #writing the localization characters and not naruhodou and mitsurugi.... so. meh. I'll survive lol #aaau-gust 2024 #welcome to my patt ttalk #patt's prattle #idk why i have so many ramble tags when i am so bad about using this blog haha #i feel like I'm forgetting smth but if i am I'll get back to it later #I'll be posting everything else to the same ao3 series!! if you want me to ramble forever more about any of these literally #i will do it at the drop of a hat this is my entire personality lately lol. minimally ask me and I'll write you an essay

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intriq · 1 year ago

Text

Soulmate au jason todd fic

its here. like i promised. months ago, maybe. chap 1 is done. chapter 2 is underway. flower language for titles with meanings.

NOTE: This mixes the arkhamverse AND the lazarus pit together, so KEEP THAT IN MIND. i was like "haha omg what if i mixed the two together" and everyone was like "YES" and by everyone i mean this discord im in

will make a separate masterlist post for this, maybe. heavy emphasis on MAYBE.

might just smack it all onto my already existing masterlist post, who knows!

this fic will be a series of chapters and parts, and written to Isabella's Lullaby. From The Promised Neverland. enjoy :3

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎╭── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╮

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎‎‎ ‎‎Blue Salvia

‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ blue salvia; i think of you

When he was Robin, running around with Batman to fight crime on the streets of Gotham, he’d sometimes get distracted. By you, of course. Not that he could see you, but he could hear you.

Specifically, he could hear you whenever you sang to yourself. Your quiet little humming always made him smile, and he’d always get distracted listening to it.

“Jason, were you listening to anything I just said?” Bruce asks, and there’s most certainly an unamused look on his face behind his mask.

Jason is snapped from his daze, giving a sheepish grin as he just gives a silent answer of no, he was not listening. The only thing he’d been listening to was the humming of his soulmate, who always had a habit of singing to themselves when they were doing something or trying to fall asleep.

Getting distracted by the sound of your singing whilst he was patrolling Gotham with Bruce probably wasn’t the best idea, but he couldn’t help it. Your voice was always so pretty, after all.

Sometimes he’d get distracted in his classes, too.

When one day, Jason’s in his boring history class, back in those days when he was younger, he hears you humming again. He smiles, of course. How could he not?

You did have a truly pretty voice.

Or could it be more-so described as beautiful?

Either way, Jason’s focus is solely on your voice now, and not the history lesson the teachers spouting off. It’s nice, and it’s certainly something Jason would rather hear than whatever that teacher was spouting off as he forces himself to focus enough to actually finish the notes he was taking.

However your humming only lasts for a few brief minutes, and Jason is forced to suddenly listen to the teacher drone on and on about some particular subject he didn’t care to pay real attention to.

Even now as the Joker cackles in his ear, bringing the crowbar back down to hit his ankles, hard, Jason grits his teeth in pain for a moment. Before eventually it turns to gasps for air.

The only way Jason could even last and endure the endless torment the Joker put him through was by imagining you. Imagining what you might look like, that is.

After all, the first words you’d ever say to him in the future were inked like a tattoo in the skin of his arm. How could he not let his mind wander to try and put pieces of you together, like some sort of puzzle without a guiding image?

It had been awhile since Jason last heard you humming to yourself. Had you stopped singing entirely, or were you just busy as of late?

His gaze, despite the pain making his vision swirl into an unfocused haze, moves to look at his soul-mark. His soul-mark, which are the first words you’d ever speak to him.

Are you okay?

Those words. Three simple words. Words that gave him hope that someday he’d get out of this hellhole in Arkham.

“Get your head in the game, bird-brain!” Joker cackles, bringing the crowbar back down onto his leg again, making Jason grit his teeth and suck in a harsh breath of air, bringing him back to reality in a dizzying flash of pain. He’s hoping Joker didn’t notice just what specifically was distracting him, considering his Robin suit kept his soul-mark hidden.

But unfortunately for him, Joker had. “Something you wanna share, birdie?” Joker taunts, reaching a hand out to grab at the hem, where the glove covered the sleeves edge. Underneath which held your first words to him.

Are you okay?

Three little words. Words that helped him stay sure he’d make it out of here. Make it out of here to you.

Jason so badly wishes to close his eyes, block everything currently happening out when Joker spots his soulmark. Wants to forget everything when he hears Joker sadistic cackling when he reads those little words. “Ooh, got yourself a soulmate, huh? Maybe they’d like to join in on this little show, hmm? What do you think of that, bird-brain?”

Jason, for once in his life, hopes you don’t live in Gotham. That you don’t live anywhere near this shithole or anywhere Joker has power to find and reach you.

At night when Jason get’s some relief from the torment, the beatings, it’s quiet. He hates it. He’s never liked silence, and now he fucking dreads it. Makes him think about how everything hurts, how badly he wants everything to end. He’s on the verge of breaking, he can feel it. That last little cord that’s about to snap.

He’s so close to giving up.

And then, for the first time in what’s felt like years, he hears it. He hears you. You’re singing again. It’s soft and sweet, your voice. Just like every other time he hears it. Jason tries his hardest to keep his eyes open, to listen to that melody you’re almost always humming. It’s the same one every time.

But in the end, he can’t help the way his eyes droop, or how you manage to lull him to sleep like some child. Jason can’t help but be so easily soothed by your voice. Because for the first time in months, Jason is able to sleep.

And for the first time in months, it’s a restful sleep. One without nightmares. And he dreams of you, what you may look like.

For just a little while, he get’s a little reprieve from all this pain and anguish.

‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎ ‎‎╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

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pendwelling · 27 days ago

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hello !!

I have been reading your content for a while and I really appreciate it especially your detailed answer to people questions I really like it 😄😄

That's why I want to ask my questions too☺️☺️

Hmmm so first , you know in chapter 805 yuseo called gain his Earth and in chapter 850 or close to it when yuseo knew his friends forgot about him ,he was having a breakdown 😭😭 and he said might even resent them for it but deep down he knew he can never hate his Earth forever 😭😭

Yeah so here yuseo only meant gain without Cedric?? So that means deep down yuseo has more affection and love gain more ? Cause I always thought he loves them both equally

Is gain maybe more important in the story thank Cedric? Cause I noticed that gain has many many POV in the story meanwhile Cedric having POV is very rare 😞 especially when yuseo left for his world almost all POVs were gain's ...so does that mean like she's 2mc after yuseo ?

I Know my questions may sound stupid but I actually care and notice these things while reading😅😅 like noticing that gain had also more screen time with yuseo than Cedric in the lastest chs 😅😅 that's why that thought occured to me

Hmm I have only another question ( sorry I talk too much but this novel really took my mind these days 😭😭 so I'm thinking about all kind of stuff) ... U know that Jesse suggested to yuseo to tell the people that they share a plate and yuseo accepted but Cedric refused? But eventually I didn't understand whether they did tell people that or just said that they were twins?

Cause honestly if they did do that wouldn't making a covenant with Cedric be quiet no possible since people know that they share plate

Honestly even now I think making a covenant might be really impossible for many reasons:

1/ yuseo already goes to his world and he spends most time there (he only spends two days in reister ) and the timeline is quite different?? Like a few days in his world are many months in reister??? Wouldn't that make him absent a long time??? When they become religious companions they can't be appart from each other a long time or they suffer like Fred and Aurelie right ? So I feel like yuseo wound not accept it

2/ when he becomes religious companion he can't share his ether with others (except gain maybe cause she and ced already have a connection ) it might be a dump reason but I feel yuseo would still want to help others with his ether especially Johann and future holy knight kids (Lynn and cerise)

3/ finally even if it's one sided yuseo and Jesse do share a plate so it would make it diffecult to form covenant cause Cedric emotions and thoughts will be shared to Jesse too ? It feels like he shared his plate with the two of them

So what do u think?

Man I really wrote a whole essay 😭😭😭

I'm sorry that u have to read through all of this 🥺🥺

And thanks for your answer in advance

Hello!!! Sorry late response 😭😭 I'm assuming you probably read more chapters ahead by now and might have gotten answers to your questions yourself, but I'll still give my own insights too haha

Anyhow—Yeah! Yeseo and Ga-in do indeed get some very notable moments during the later end parts of TWSB, but I personally think that the moments between Ga-in-Yeseo and Cédric-Yeseo are both equally spread out, and both with their own respective moments to shine, and sometimes all together and in different (equally important) ways. Cédric's POVs might not be as much in comparison to Ga-in's in certain moments, but (again personally) I find that this is because Ga-in's character and personality allows for certain scenes to be viewed and conveyed in much more appropriate ways than it could be in Cédric's. Cédric's POVs are also notably... dramatic. Intense (haha). Surprisingly poetic and heartwrenching at times, but it's always an elaboration of his inward emotional state, and not as much outward action.

Cédric is the kind of character whose internal narration is better when taken in small doses, especially because his unique perspective as a Crown Prince archetype (back in the 300s, for example, it was especially interesting to see Cédric's through outsider POVs and in an environment of—not equals, like with "Prince Jesse" and Lady Christelle and their other noble friends—but of commoners and soldiers who cannot interact with him as easily). His POVs are always very emotional (sometimes despite his outward actions seeming so abrupt or sudden or even "out-of-nowhere" if you havent seen his POV), and often related to his own psyche, his internal turmoil, the way relationships affect him personally and the childhood trauma that in turn affect how he goes about life and relationships, and even more particularly, Yeseo.

But as for the moments that you are talking about (800s+), in a way, it makes sense why we get more of Ga-in's perspectives. Both she and Yeseo, after all, are transmigrators who can both relate and understand on deeper levels the dilemma of having to leave one world for the other, and the struggles that come with this very unique experience. She's also undeniably WAY MORE emotionally intelligent than Cédric in this regard, and as the eldest, the noona of the trio, I think it was especially important for Ham Ga-in to have been the one taking the lead in this very emotional goodbye and see-you-later.

Yeseo can be thought of as the glue holding the three characters together, but Ga-in's role as the understated emotional pillar is also just as important and very vital to their dynamics as a whole!!!! 🥲

In the scene of 805, I think it's noteworthy that when Cédric and Ga-in are both leading Yeseo to the Paten, "walking him home," the way the two of them do so is very indicative of the roles they play in each others' lives and in this moment. Cédric holds Yeseo's hand with his right, leaving his dominant left hand free to wield the blade—physically and visibly demonstrating the silent support that Cédric is towards and provides for Yeseo. It should be noted that in all previous situations during fights where Cédric has had to carry Yeseo over his right shoulder, he always, ALWAYS, keeps his sword arm free to both fight and defend his partners. And even when he does have to give up the sword while fleeing with Yeseo over his shoulder, he'll have Ga-in under his sword arm as a "backup weapon" haha. This has been a recurring trend throughout the story, even when it's sometimes used in comedic scenarios, but it's a characteristic of his nonetheless that even the author acknowledged in one of their A/Ns xD (604 Munpia). BUT ANYWAY BACK TO 805—in contrast, Ga-in's support extends more to just supporting him with silent and strong gestures. She constantly talks to him, reaches out, reassures him, she appeases him with words and promises, speaking on both the behalf of herself AND of Cédric. She's the spokesperson for the two of them—her wishes are also Cédric's. If Cédric didn't feel the same way, he would have spoken up (heck, he probably wouldn't have been there in the first place lmao—him growing to care for both Yeseo and Ga-in is one of the most integral parts driving the story too, after all!)

This moment is very emotional, and Ga-in is the emotional anchor keeping them all together. I definitely would NOT say that she is more important than Cédric. They are BOTH EQUALLY very very important to Yeseo, and they both demonstrate their different outward ways of caring for and supporting him 🥹 In this specific situation, however, Ga-in's emotional outspokenness naturally takes the lead and gives Yeseo the more active verbal comfort that he needs. Had she not been there, I fear Cédric would have to deal with an emotionally crumbling Yeseo all alone haha—of course, that isn't to say that Cédric would just stand there and do nothing, but this guy is HELLA internally emotional but without the proper ability to dish out comfort the way Ga-in does. He just keeps it all inward. This situation was hard for all three of them combined, but Ga-in took the reigns and gave the final push.

She's the eldest! Their noona... She has to do her best, smile, and stay strong, because one guy is too soft-hearted, and the other guy is unexpectedly soft-hearted, too, so she must be the strong one and ease the mood. That has always been our Ga-in's specialty 🥹🥲

Ga-in is Yeseo's "Earth" because she's their anchor, the one who grounds them all—"my only rock and hill", as Ga-in once said in reference to own older sister.

Thus, we have Cédric with the unstaggering physical support and strength. Then, Ga-in with her vocal reassurances and emotional support. I have a LOT to say about 805, but anyhow, I think I made my point haha. It a brilliant chapter imo, and really displays the facets of CYC's relationship and dynamics, both inward and outward. Cédric does get his own moments with Yeseo later on too:

Most notably, off the top of my head, that scene in Chapter 917 where Yeseo visits home again with Cédric tagging along, where he presents Cerise to Hyunseo like "Ta-da~ It's our baby" as if they're two newlyweds presenting their daughter to the family for the first time 😭. OH and then in 898, where Cédric snuck into the Jung apartments and clumsily tried offering Yeseo, his family, and EVEN HIS DISTANT FAMILY 😭 all titles and riches and lands just so that Yeseo could permanently become Riester citizens and stay there with him and Ga-in... (Yeseo naturally puts his foot down and refuses lmao, but he appeases Cédric's worries by saying that Riester is still his second home, and that he has no intention of leaving them behind again BUT STILL OMG 😭)

Look. You gotta understand. Ga-in and Yeseo's relationship is so so meaningful and caring and sweet, but Cédric is always on a whole other level. This guy is so crazy about Yeseo, he's just disguising it under a stoic handsome face LMAO...

YEAH OML ANYWAY. NOW FOR THE HOLY PLEDGE/PLATE QUESTION—

For Pledge Concern #1, regarding the time differences between the TWSB world and the "IRL" world, if you continue reading (and I'm assume you might have? already read to that point by now since it's been a while since you sent this Ask wkdjsksk), you'll find that this issue resolves itself haha. I'm glad you took notice of this, however, because it is a concern that Yeseo HIMSELF also shares, even vocally too, back in Chapter 736 during a discussion with Jibril which started with Yeseo expressing relief that Jibril would be a good supporting figure for future-emperor Cédric (to which Jibril slapped back with basically "why would he need me when he's got you?"). Yeseo is so worried about hurting Cédric with the long-distance effects of a Covenant/Holy Pledge, but with time, this thankfully gets resolved 🥲🙌 Even the charas themselves kinda refer to his dimension-hopping being akin to something like "our family' daughter hopping to their new household (the one they married into)" LMAO. Yeseo could also leave Cédric (and perhaps Ga-in, if they go the double Pledge route) with a bunch of holy stones to soothe the soul ache, like what Frédérique and Aurélie have previously done, too.

As for Pledge Concern #2!!! Hahaha, that's a valid concern. I totally understand why you'd think Yeseo might want that, but it's also understandable why he would also choose the other. Yeseo is actually quite recipient to the idea of forming a Holy Pledge with Cédric—or at the very least, officially accepting the man's Covenant proposal and becoming his Religious Companion—but the only thing that held him back was the concern of the universal distances causing him pain. But with that now out of the way, suffice to say, there's now plenty of reason for Yeseo to no longer postpone the proposal. I feel I should also bring back Juliette/Julite Statia, who, historically, has been one of the (if not the only) recorded Priests to have supplied ether to two Holy Knights at once. Ga-in even referenced Julite's circumstances wayyy back in early-TWSB before the Holy See, and now that Yeseo is pretty much the Pope with Paten as his Plate/Vessel, we can assume that a double-Holy Pledge is on the table of possibilities (not to mention Cédric and Christelle's funky little soul bond haha).

As for him supplying ether to others, again, that's very valid. Yeseo is the type that likes to help others when he can. But also, I think he is also capable of trusting their other reliable priest friends, even more so when the war is over. Johann has (his future-daughter-in-law~) Eva and even our dear Priest Sand; Cornelisse has Isle; and Lynn and Cerise are young kids who would probably find their own intimate connections with priest companions of their own, once they grow up, too. After all, they can't rely on Mama Yeseo forever hehe (but the image is very sweet and tempting... maybe Yeseo will hold off the Holy Pledge just to nurse baby Cerise and little Lynn for a bit longer xDDD). But anyhow, it makes more sense for them to eventually find their own Religious Partners later (especially for Cerise Riester, who is actual Imperial Royalty).

As for your Pledge/Plate Concern #3, I remember I answered a similar thing on discord, so I'll just largely reiterate my response for there unto here haha:

The Plate-sharing between Yeseo and Losna is said to be one-way, as Yeseo's original plate was given to Losna upon his resuscitation, while the Paten in turn became Yeseo's. So while it's true that Yeseo's emotions and memories have been transferred to Losna, Yeseo doesn't get anything from Losna—so in terms of a Covenant, Cédric would probably be fusing his plate with YESEO'S PATEN, instead of his original Plate (which is now within Losna). So the ether sharing would be respectively between Cédric and Yeseo's Plates/Paten, and their souls would be connected from that point.

We can also naturally assume that Losna would still be able to feel Yeseo's emotions since he's the owner of Yeseo's Plate, but whether or not he could feel Cédric's is more ambiguous, but here is what I take from the affair:

1.) Losna owning Yeseo's Plate = Feeling Yeseo's emotions and having his memories.

2.) Cédric forming a Covenant with Yeseo's Paten Plate = Merging ether reservoirs and souls, thus knowing how the other feels (and to an extent, how they think).

—SO, WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

Losna, who has Yeseo's Plate but not the PATEN plate, would still feel Yeseo. It's one-sided on Losna➡️Yeseo's part, and so perhaps Losna's indirect link to Cédric (who would be linked to Yeseo) would ALSO be onesided. He could feel what YESEO feels, but not what Cédric feels.

And re:Twins and Plate sharing—while Yeseo was fine with it, Cédric didn't like the sound/implications of selling the story as "Losna and Yeseo share a Plate" LMAO, so in the end, what happens is that the Frédérique ordered the Palace (or rather Bérénice haha) to basically fabricate a whole mythos surrounding Yeseo and Losna's origins as "twins" to sell to the public. One who was born with divinity, one born with mortality. There's a LOT to say about TWSB's use of religion and (fictional) religious propaganda throughout the series, but I won't get into much detail there haha. But just know that I think about it a lot, and again, I love love love how much politics and religion play a part in TWSB. It makes the world of kingdoms, empires, aristocracy and the everyman feel very real.

But anyhow, I don't believe Yeseo forming a Holy Pledge with anyone will cause any issues with Losna, too.

THOUGH!!! On Munpia, Sookym has finally released information on the Side Stories (WHICH IS COMING OUT THIS JANUARY‼️‼️‼️🥹🥹🥳), so perhaps we'll see a glimpse into the aftermath and how Religious Companionship is faring for Yeseo and friends!! I'll personally be totally fine with the story as is ending the way it did and with a lot up for natural interpretation because there are also a lot of other storylines and characters to explore even more in depth to hehe. But I'll probably be happy with whatever Sookym cooks 🥹 Maybe we can even hope for more modern setting shenanigans... who knows!!!

Anyhow, yeah!!! I hope this helped answer any questions or concerns!! Sorry for the late response haha, the questions that take longer answers generally require more energy on my part (both to gather my thoughts, to do some re-reading and research to avoid accidentally spreading misinfo 😭, as well as just writing out everything WKWKKWKW)

Again, I'm assuming you probably(?) finished reading TWSB till the end already, and I hope you enjoyed/are enjoying the rest of their journey!!! I hope you (and whomever might be reading this haha) tunes in for whenever the Side Stories come out in January!!!! 🙌🙌

#twsb #twsb asks #twsb analysis #twsb spoilers #as always every PLS rest assured #both Ga-in AND Cédric get their own shining heartfelt moments with Yeseo (and all 3 together 🥹🫡)#never doubt the power of TWSB's qpr bi4bi agenda 🙏#asks

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ominous-feychild · 5 months ago

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Can you tell me a little about The Arcane Rifts?

Mislav (the berserker) and Ludmila in particular (their names stood out lol)

Ahhh, the Arcane Rifts, my golden child--

I--I mean--

The story I give an appropriate amount of love and attention to! 🥰 (or so I say because I think the extra attention I give it is deserved because it's the golden child--)

The Arcane Rifts

I've since included the blurb and other information in my Writeblr Intro if you want more generic information! Sorry I've taken so long to respond to this, haha. I'm going to continue forward here assuming you've read it, but I'm probably going to restate a lot of information here anyway!

The Arcane Rifts is a high fantasy, action, mystery story with hints of horror! It primarily follows its two MCs, Gene and Tazin, as they struggle to live on their own as Socially Othered kids.

Gene is physically disabled--he was born with a twisted and too-short leg that makes it difficult for him to walk. In-story, he uses a cane and eventually gets a foot lift that helps level out his walking. Though it doesn't perfectly fit, the best actual medical condition I can find for him is clubfoot!

Adding to his social-othering, Gene is also autistic (though it "doesn't exist" in Glavnran) and originally from another country, though it's unknown which one in-story. He was found in the woods on the outskirts of Kavo (a town within Glavnran) a year prior to the events of the story, and has barely gotten a grasp of the local language in the time before the story starts.

Tazin is the secondary MC and another kid only two years Gene's senior. He's ethnically Jhandan (Fantasy!Indian), and discriminated against by the majority Glavni (primarily white, Fantasy!Slavic) people despite being born and raised in Glavnran.

(Context: Glavnran is under the thumb of the Jhandan Empire and has had a history of both war and exploitation by Jhandar. This has led to the hatred of the Glavni people toward anything Jhandan--however. I do not say this as in to say the discrimination Jhandan people face is fair, understandable, or reasonable--just that it's the origin of the tensions. Tazin is a literal 9-year-old, though, and obviously just gets handed that hatred because of the color of his skin... and a minor accent.)

There's Asks on both Gene and Tazin and you asked about other characters, so I'll hold off on giving more info about them in particular, but!

The Arcane Rifts focuses on the two boys meeting, deciding to work together to survive on the streets, and accidentally getting way in over their heads as they accidentally draw the attention of both the cops and the local gang.

The main plots focus on the children, the khonitva, and Kavo's chief of police--Nikolai--investigating the boys on top of some magical stuff going on in the background.

It's a dense story, but I promise you it's worth it!!! Or, it will be whenever the current version has more than 5 chapters available read...

Mislav Baran

My beautiful babi boy and definitely not Gene's later boyfriend.

So, bad news: while he appears a bit in Book 1, Mislav isn't a main character there. He only becomes a MC in Book 2, after... spoilers! happen! 😙👌 In order to answer your questions, though, I will be giving away mild spoilers! 🥰

First, an introduction: Mislav (the berserker) is, surprise surprise, a berserker! Let me actually grab a snippet straight from tAR for this!

What Damaris didn’t know was that Mislav was a berserker, which meant he was stronger than any normal kid. Especially when he got angry. Being a berserker meant more than getting stronger with anger, though. It boosted all of his physical abilities and his senses. To top it all off, he healed from injuries more quickly. So imagine what it was like when he got angry. Although he’d show off his strength sometimes, Mislav hated that he was a berserker. Not only was it his own curse, gifted to him by Zhrizn—Glavnran’s evil god of nature—after he’d orchestrated the deaths of Mislav's family, but the people of Kavo hated berserkers. They said they were wild, destructive creatures that did nothing but hurt and kill.

Woah, so there's a lot to unpack there, haha. 🤭

But before I do... let me give you the next two lines from Gene('s narration).

Those were the reasons why Gene never told Mislav what he thought of a berserker’s abilities. They made for a perfect weapon of war.

Wait, wtf, a kid thought that??? Aaaaaanyway! We're talking about Mislav, not Gene! 😉🤭

Yeah, a berserker's abilities are perfectly suited for combat and recovering from it. However, at the beginning of the story, Mislav is just nine. Y'know--nine years old. He's not seeing any combat or war!

(Y'know... besides the whole "Adilzhan killed his entire family somewhat in front of him" thing. Oh, wait, right. That.)

So, Adilzhan. He's an avatar of Zhrizn (aka does his bidding), and it was presumably on Zhrizn's orders that he killed Mislav's family.

And then... stopped.

To spare Mislav? What's so special about him? Who knows! Me. I do.

Regardless, after sparing him, Adilzhan half took him in. Yeah. Took him in. After slaughtering his entire family and burning down the farm Mislav grew up on. That certainly won't be causing any sort of weird complexes in the poor kid growing up.

Despite their, ah, rough introduction, Adilzhan has been a shockingly generous "parental" figure to Mislav. Rather than forcing Mislav to live with him, Adilzhan sent him to the local orphanage and gives him anything the orphanage can't. Then, he's even ignored Mislav's uh... well.

Blatant attempts to "get revenge".

To be completely transparent: "berserker"-ness has turned (perhaps unsurprisingly) into an accidental allegory for anger issues--especially in the poor, traumatized Mislav.

So what does a kid with severe anger issues accentuated with a curse that actively tries to make them worse do when their family's murderer is constantly trying to be nice to them? Well, lash out, of course!

For example, by the beginning of book 2 Mislav would/will have:

destroyed a bunch of Adilzhan's stuff... several times.

straight-up ambushed/attacked Adilzhan (though only twice!! And only in the first several months of knowing him!!!... because he quickly learned it wouldn't get him anywhere--)

kicked/headbutted him while Adilzhan tried treating his (Mislav's) injuries

purposely sabotaged Adilzhan in moments of danger/stress, leading to Adilzhan getting injured when he otherwise wouldn't have gotten!

And yet, shockingly, Adilzhan never would've lashed out at the kid. Worst he would've done is put Mislav in the magical equivalent of "time out" while he took care of whatever problems the kid made.

By the beginning of book 2, when Mislav is 15, he's mostly moved past the state of constantly lashing out at Adilzhan. Like, sure--he hates him. Always will! But he's learned that, despite the past... Adilzhan is genuinely looking out for him. And was kinda a halfway decent parental-ish figure?

And, oh boy. Does he hate that. And understandably so!

But he's come to accept it.

Oh, Right, That Was Background Info.

So Book 2 Mislav! While Gene and Tazin were busy being criminals together on the streets, Mislav spent his time being raised halfway between the orphanage and Adilzhan himself. However, like all of the kids in Kavo's orphanage, he got kicked out at the age of thirteen (yeah, it's messed up, but tbh that's just how bad Kavo is).

So did he move in with Adilzhan at long last?

Hell no!

Mislav joined a gang, the yuertel!

Wait, what???

Yeah! Don't worry about it, it's all good. Anyway!

One thing I didn't mention earlier about the "berserker curse" is that it does more than just enhance the individual's physical capabilities and senses--it also will slowly corrupt their physical appearance as they tap into its power.

Which... that was another reason that Mislav toned down his anger with Adilzhan. Allowing himself to stew in it made it more and more likely that he'd act on it... and acting on it advanced the curse's control over him. And if you don't remember, the people of Kavo really don't like berserkers.

So, for most of his life (since the deaths of his family), Mislav has been doing his best to bottle up every single negative emotion he feels and avoiding people to keep them from figuring out the Truth. Aaaaand, y'know, self-sacrifice like hell. Because, surely, if bad actions accelerate the curse, then being a good person will de-cellerate it, right?

Yeah. He wishes. Literally.

Ludmila Morozov

So, Ludmila!

She first appears only at the very end of the first book, but Ludmila is actually a super important character to the series! She becomes a major character starting book 2, and is a main character in book 3!

Ludmila is an ice mage--or vykolt as the Glavni people call them--though you wouldn't be able to tell considering her fierce personality, haha. (Well, actually, she's incredibly icy, too, but.)

While Gene and Tazin were busy spending the first book of tAR in the khonitva and getting themselves on Kavo's Most Wanted list, Ludmila spent her time in Damaris's orphanage, getting evicted as she turned "of age", and joining/becoming the leader of the yuertel!

Oh, yeah, so the yuertel...

Ludmila didn't start the gang, and in fact got an actual job assisting the lumberjacks (and -jills) after first being kicked out of the orphanage. She only quit after an incident disillusioned her from Kavo's police- and work-force at large. Afterward, she was informed of the yuertel's existence by her childhood friend--Rada--and joined them when she couldn't find another job she was okay with working.

When she first joined, the yuertel was a ragtag bunch of kids with no idea what they were doing. After she joined--... well, they were still a ragtag bunch of kids with no idea what they were doing! But their previous leader saw her compassion for the others and stepped down to let her lead instead. Y'know, with his guidance, considering he was just a little better with people than her, but she was around a lot more than him and could do more for them than he could.

The yuertel isn't what you'd first think of when the word "gang" comes to mind. While they get up to criminal activity, they minimize collateral damage when and where they can, because hurting others isn't Ludmila's goal. They just need to do what they do to survive--malice and wanton destruction was the khonitva's thing, not hers. Though if a stray icicle hit Nikolai or a member of the khonitva over the head, she wouldn't complain.

While Ludmila wants the world to be a better place, all she sees is more ways to make it worse... or to work for those she feels sit idly by, allowing for things to get worse while sitting on their hands. So, instead, she carved out her own corner where she takes care of the people she cares about while nobody else pays them any mind.

Point is, she's a bit of a hypocrite.

Kavo--and, in fact, Glavnran in general--is a terrible place. It's full of crime, discrimination, ableism, and so many -phobias that it's ridiculous. She realized there was nothing she could do about it, so she sought to help her friends float by if nothing else. But she's a little ignorant of the fact she's guilty of the very same thing she hates in Nikolai and the rest of the police force.

Complacency.

At least... she is before book 3. But that's spoiler territory. 😉

A little more background info: Ludmila got sent to the orphanage after the murder of her mother. (Which, I so want to write a short story where Nikolai and Adilzhan investigate the murder buddy-cop style, Nikolai hating and suspecting Adilzhan of it all the while...)

Her mother, Tosha, was a fellow vykolt and actually was an avatar of Ertzat, the Glavni psychopomp god of ice, winter, death, and other associated things! They were distantly related to Gennadi (the un-elected mayor), and that combined with her priestess status meant the two were decently well-off before Tosha's death. Ludmila was close childhood friends with Rada even before then, and their parents' deaths occurring at approximately the same time led to them ending up at the orphanage together.

Idk what else I can say about her without getting into spoilers, haha...

I love Ludmila! Despite her hypocrisy, I'd say she's genuinely a good person stuck in a miserable circumstance like a lot of my characters tbh. She's a massive "sister friend" angsty type, and absolutely CANNOT get along with Tazin after the duo joins because of them both being stubborn af, haha. They're two bulls locking horns!

(And, beautifully, are a fire/ice rivalry, haha.)

I've seriously had this half-done in my drafts since publishing my Writeblr intro... I'm incredibly disappointed in myself.

Tag list: @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet @illarian-rambling @ashirisu @urnumber1star

@the-letterbox-archives

Divider from @cafekitsune

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fanganfessions · 2 months ago

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Fine I guess I'll do it. Chapter 0 and 1 of my totally real fangan

TW: KYS jokes, stupid jokes and absolute chaos

Danganronpa: Stinky Idiots

Cast:

Leanna - Ultimate Total Roblox Drama Contestant

Emily Smith - Ultimate Dumb Blonde

Kanade Otonokoji - Ultimate Guitarist

OJ - Ultimate Breakfast Beverage

Art the Clown - Ultimate Silly Clown

Salt and Vinegar Pringles - Ultimate Chips

Covid 19 - Ultimate Contagious Disease

Mr. Beast - Ultimate Controversy

Barbara - Ultimate Grandma

🥵 - Ultimate Horny Emoji

Ace Corbyn - Ultimate Chess Player

Monokuma - Ultimate Mascot

Ibuprofen - Ultimate Nonsteroidal Anti-inflammatory Painkilling Drug

Kokichi Oma - Ultimate Supreme Leader

Monika - Ultimate Literature Club Member

Mukuro Ikusaba - Ultimate 16th Student

Chapter 0

Leanna wakes up iconically

Leanna: Ughuguuguhufguguhgufdgsusdgidjdadsgdusahudhuag… Where the hell am I?

Emily: Omg hi. Who are you, what is your name?

Leanna: Leanna pookie. What about you?

Emily: Oooh, I'm Emily. Nice to meet you, Lebanon!

Leanna: It's Leanna.

Emily: Gotcha! Do you know where we are? I looked around a little, and this place doesn’t look like my room!

Ace: Of course it doesn’t. You would be lucky to live in a place like this.

Emily: …

Leanna: …

Ace: …

Leanna: Who the fuck are you?

Ace: Ace. And don’t give me that attitude.

Emily: Ass? That is a pretty rude name! Who would name their child that!

Ace: … You are so dumb, you make me wanna kill myself.

Leanna: Maybe you should. Asshole.

Kanadead and Kokishit show up

Kanade: Oh! There are people here..

Kokichi: Ooooooooh. This totally doesn’t look familiar at all!

Leanna: Who are you people?

Kanade: Im Kanade Otonokoji.. The uhh Ultimate Guitarist. I am super innocent! And I am uwu kawai desu!

Ace: Kill yourself.

Kokichi: Death threats already! I love death, people dying and being tortured and stuff. Blood blood, gore gore, I love it! I'm not lying, haha!

Leanna: Girl what- Anyways don’t listen to him, he is an asshole.

Emily: Yeah! Especially since his name is Ass, so it makes sense!

Kanade: That name is not very kind and kawai..

Kokichi: Hey guys, I'm the one that brought you guys here! JK I lied, hahaha, that makes me a compelling character right?

Ace: No.

Eventually more people, and.. things, show up.

OJ: Hi, I'm OJ, orange juice if you guys couldn’t tell. And I am a breakfast beverage, though you could still drink me any other time, and I-

Ace: Shut up.

OJ: Ok-

Art: :D

Covid 19: OOOHOHOHOOHOHOHOHOOHO, I can infect you all! And no, I'm not lying like that grape thing!

Ibuprofen: Use me to cure your pain, headaches, general aches, depression, and-

🥵: IM HORNYYYYY~~~~~

Leanna: What the hell is even going on here-

Mukuro: I am Mukuro Ikusaba, the 16th student, lying hidden somewhere in this school, the one they call the Ultimate Despair, watch out for me.

Monokuma: Puhuhuhuhuhuhu, I’m here too! But I'm not the mastermind, so whaaaaaaaat is going oooononononononno~

Monika: Hello there! Welcome to my literature clu- Wait, where the hell am I?!?!?!!?

Mr. Beast: What’s up guys, welcome to my new video! Today I put random characters into a killing game! The winner gets…. to live!

Pringles: I exist.

End of Chapter 0

Chapter 1

Leanna: Ok guys, I think it’s time to address the elephant in the room. And no, I don't mean Ace.

Ace: You of all people should not be talking about elephants when you are built like a Titanic.

Leanna: I swear to god I am gonna kill this bitch- Anyways-

Ibuprofen: Killing is not good, but what is good is being healthy. Buy Nurofen Ibuprofen tablets on Amazon for only 4.25 pounds-

Emily: Wait a second guys, I think we are in a murdering activity or something. We have to work together to overcome this dispatch!

Mukuro: Don’t you mean despair?

Monokuma: Puhuhuhuhuhu, I wonder who will die first~

Monika: No one is gonna die!

🥵: Aughhhh~

Kanade: Stop being horny! That is not kawai desu..

Kokichi: Waitttt, aren’t we missing someone? There are only 15 of us here.

Mr. Beast: Oh yeah, there is a grandma currently sleeping in her room. Her name is Barbara! She will probably not win this game, it will be one of my bros!

Covid 19: Muahahahahaha, she is all alone! She will die! HAHAAHJSHIAUGuigdwbsiauhbdhksbdauwbhsjah

Emily: That is so real of you!

Lights turn off randomly.

Leanna: What is going on pookies? Is someone slaying?

Art: 🥰

Lights turn back on, and only few people are in the area.

Kanade: Omg, where is everyone uwu

Leanna: I don’t know. There is me, you, this clown guy, and Monika.

Emily: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDIUCDANJNSIDBJASBDLI

Art: 😮

Monika: That was Emily…

Leanna: Her voice came from.. Barbara’s room!

Monika: Do you think someone is hanging out there?

Kanade: …

Leanna: I swear if we go there and find someone hanging..

They headed to Barbara’s room, and there they found…

MONOKUMA DEAD ON THE FLOOR WITH A GUNSHOT IN THE HEAD.

Oh and Barbara was still sleeping lol

Emily: NOOINoOSNDonwoibdoanoibn!!!!

Leanna: Oh shit. Someone slayed.

Kokichi: Omg who did that lol

Ace: I know who did it because I am smart, rude and cool. But I won’t tell because I am bored.

Art: 😜

🥵: Aughh~ Im so horny~

OJ: How can you be horny when someone literally fucking died.

Mukuro: I mean, there is no real loss here, it's just a stupid robot bear.

Emily: OMG THAT’S ANIMAL CRUELTY!!!!! Save the planet you guys!!!!

Ibuprofen: Uhh, anyways, does anyone need drugs?

Covid 19: NO EW! WHY DIDN’T THIS THING DIE!?

Kanade: I know who it is. So the chapter 1 deaths usually set the tone for the killing game, meaning the creator wanted to kill off characters that you wouldn’t really expect to die. Or the character’s they just don’t like. Meaning the main suspects are Emily, Kokichi, Ace or Leanna. But it could also be Barbara since the murder did happen in her room, so yeah.

Mukuro: That makes sense I guess.

Barbara: Yawn, oh hello kids. What is going on?

Ace: Someone died in your room.

Barbara: Oh dear.. Well I saw who did it.

Monika: Weren’t you asleep?

Barbara: Oh I didn’t sleep all the time dear. Anyways.. The killer was that purple boy over there. He pulled out a gun from nowhere and shot the bear…

Kokichi: Whaaaaaa, that did not happen. Ok fine, I am the culprit. I did it. Maybe I did it… Maybe I didn’t… You will never know nehehe…

Mr. Beast: Everyone voted Kokichi Oma, and….. He is the culprit!!!!

Kokichi: Bro what? We are not even on the trial. And I didn’t even get to have a monologue about why lying is good, I didn’t get to redeem myself at the last second, and I didn’t get to lie or anything…

Leanna: You did not eat pookie.

Ace: I know you ate the entirety of the cafeteria.

Leanna: That’s it.

Leanna started to fight with Ace. While Kokichi was dragged to get executed.

Kokichi was put in a saw trap, and all he had to do was tell the truth about his pet goldfish. He decided to lie, and got electrocuted and died.

Pringles: I still exist.

Emily: I… This is terrible! I don’t like you guys anymore!

Y/N- I mean Emily flew down the hall, with tears running from her diamond blue orbs, not looking back again…

End of chapter 1

#fanganfessions #fanganronpa #fangan #this is the best thing I've ever read

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dayseternal-blog · 7 months ago

Note

Hii do you know some fics where Naruto pretends to not know hinata's feeling for him

hmmm

in these two, Naruto pretends to not have feelings for Hinata, it's dark!Naruto -

"Psychosis" from "NaruHina Erotica Oneshots" by @makuro767 - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. There's madness in the blood of Namikaze. If the Uchiha was cursed by Hatred, then Namikaze is cursed by Love

and

"Incubus" from "NaruHina Erotica Oneshots" by Makuro767 - Rated E, High School AU, One-shot. It’s not a fairytale love story. It’s not a teenage romance. She didn’t even know if this can be considered romance.

since it's dark!Naruto, it like.....doesn't matter what Hinata feels for him. So, not exactly what you're asking for.

hmmm, you might like this funny one haha, but it's sorta the opposite?, or going both ways?:

"Dense II" from "Blue and White Eyes" by kiiam - Rated T, Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. Naruto had been called dense by many people. He was considered very, very dense.

I feel like there should be a better one than these?????? I'm sure that I've read one where Naruto's pretending to not know for the funsies...

oh, here's another dark!Naruto one where he pretends to not know Hinata:

“Insanity” by Sadistic One - Rated E for GRAPHIC MURDER, College AU, Multi-chapter, Ongoing. The smell of his cologne and slight musk was the first thing that caught Hyuga Hinata’s attention. She eventually found out that smell belonged to a young man named Uzumaki Naruto. Ever since that encounter, she couldn’t stop following him and watching his every move. She needed to know who he hanged out with, his hobbies likes and dislikes. She even transferred to his school to study him more closely. But as those months went on, she discovered Naruto was not who he portrayed to be to his peers, but a cold-blooded murderer. Is this enough to put a stop to Hinata’s obsession or will it draw her closer to her own insanity?

wait, here's another dark!Naruto that pretends to not know Hinata's feelings:

“October - Horror” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. When despair turns into a feeling of love so intense that obsession is the only thing that can help you protect the one you love.

okay, so 4 dark!Naruto fanfic recommendations and only 1 somewhat normally characterized fanfic. I guess Naruto pretending not to know Hinata's feelings is only something a crazy Naruto would do lol

If anyone thinks of others, please add on!!!!!

#anon #naruhina fanfic recs #dark!NaruHina

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curiouswanders · 1 month ago

Text

Eris' Story Chapter 1

DISCLAIMERS:

I've never formally written stories of my own so there will be many mistakes (so I apologize but practice makes perfect right?)

I took bits and pieces of details from ACOTAR but it won't be accurate because I'm just putting my daydreams into words.

What to expect?

Not sure really HAHA

Ayne's discovery of her upbringing and where she really came from

Trauma bonding/Trauma healing? Idk how to word it but you'll catch on eventually (I hope)

Of course romance! But Idk how to label this trope hehe

Will this become spicy?

Most likely but not yet hehe

From the moment I began to understand who I was, there was one thing I knew that would never change about me. My pure hatred for the cold. The sharpness of the icy wind that stings any exposed skin on me, the dryness of my lips which yearns for even a hint of my saliva for moisture, and the constant fatigue felt because of the cold temperatures which slows the heart… I hated it all. I hate all of what the cold is and can be and yet, I’ve lived in the Winter Court for as long as I could remember.

I grip the straps over my shoulder and pull downwards to lift the drooping sack higher up to stop it from swinging onto the back of my thighs. I do this every 20-30 feet I walk as if it’ll make a difference considering the pack is so loose on me. The top of my thighs burns with each step I climb up the snow-covered hill, but I keep going. If I wanted to find any kind of shelter before nightfall, I needed to keep going.

My throat burns from the cold air I have been breathing in for two days and my mouth dried from not having water since then. My fingertips are numb now despite the wool gloves I managed to steal from Elida’s room before making my escape. I didn’t realize how small her hands were until now as I look at my fingernails, begging to rip through the tips of the gloves.

Elida’s hands were so small. So small and yet the torture and pain she did unto me went beyond the surface of those hands. Images of her torture erupts in my mind. Lashing my bare back, keeping my head in ice water long enough for me to pass out, giving me only linen clothing to wear knowing my shared room had minimal heat and the list could go on. She did this to me every day, even when I completed all the tasks given as if abusing me was a hobby to her. Even with her parents present, she did as she pleased and did not relent.

But when the news came that Elida was to be wedded and I was to live with her and her new husband, I knew that this would be my death sentence if I didn’t do anything about it. Elida was ruthless but under her parents, she had to follow one rule. That she would only call for me to tend to her during the day and the night servants would be the ones to tend to her at night. How thoughtful of her parents.

While Elida was bathing and just before the shift change with the servants, I slid the thick wool gloves under my dress and tucked it into the back of my undergarment. Soon after, the night servant came to relieve me and I quickly side stepped out of the door so she couldn’t see the possible protruding bump on my lower back. Although my heart was pounding through my chest, I steady my pace to avoid others from noticing. I deeply exhale in relief to see that my shared room was empty. I put on my only jacket and slide the gloves on my hands. I slip on my boot, and I hoist my pack filled with the very few of my personal belongs, a baguette that’s near to molding and 5 apples. I didn’t own a canteen and couldn’t manage to steal one. Water would have to be the sacrifice if it meant I’ll have a chance of living.

“Ayne?” I snap my head to the door to look at the person calling me.

Although it’s one of the younger servants, my chest rises for a few seconds too long before it drops to exhale, breath coming out of my nose. I force the fear in my face to fade and my jaw flexes as I try to think of something to say.

I didn’t know what to say but if I kept the silence any longer, it would be more than enough time for her to sound the alarms of my attempt to escape. I subtly shake my head and from there she knew what I was going to do. She knew how terrible Elida was and she knew that for some damned reason, I was Elida’s most hated servant. Without speaking, I look at her with a silent plea. Her face contemplates on what she wanted to say but she also had no words. Her back straightens and with sympathy flooding her eyes, she nods and steps to the side of the entrance.

I quickly exit, leaving her there. I escape through the doors that servants could only use when entering and exiting the mansion. With the servant shift change, it meant the guards were changing shifts as well. And knowing this, meant I had only ten more minutes before the shift change would end. I quickly exit and once I was in the shadows, I ran and ran. I ran until I made it into the woods that surrounded the mansion.

As scared as I was about venturing these woods, I knew that eventually, I would reach the village. Then once I get through the village, I would reach the never ending vast of the snow-covered court. The goal was to reach the Summer Court where I would find refuge. The Summer Court which is known to be the most welcoming for refuge.

Making this trip would risk my life mostly because I’ve never ventured further than the mansion. I was risking my life, but I knew losing my life on this venture was worth more than losing my life being with Elida. Whatever Elida wants, she always gets. There would be nowhere in the Winter Court to keep me safe from her. Especially when it comes to lesser faeri like me.

I didn’t know what to expect if I survive this escape or what dangers would reach me. But I learned enough from the older servants about direction. The Summer Court lies southwest of the Winter Court. Therefore, as long as I kept going west and then south, I would eventually get there. Or at least that is the hope.

The cold was brutal at night, but I knew this first part of my journey would have to be done at night. I was too close to the mansion. The only way I could feel safe traveling during the day, was knowing I was far, far, far away from this mansion.

I brace both my palms onto the top of my knees and squat once I make it to the top of the hill. Although it hurts to breath in the cold air, I breath in deeply and look forward. The blinding sun reflects off the snow on the downward slope of the hill. I squint my eyes to shield from the light and as my eyes refocus, I see a stream that has yet to freeze. Across the stream, trees line along the stream so far on both sides, I didn’t know where it ended. Regardless, relief takes over me and I practically run down the hill. I was so happy to see my first sight of water that I tripped on a hidden log underneath the snow and tumble all the way down. My body hits the ground, cutting my gasp short while I wrap my head with my arms. While rolling down the hill, I silently pray. Prayed I wouldn’t snap my neck down the hill or hit any oncoming boulder that can knock me out unconscious.

I wince as my face slides along the rocks and pebbles at the bottom of the hill. The gravity of rolling downwards made it hard for my hands to reach out for any surface to stop myself. Once, my tumble finally stop, my back slams flat onto the gravel. My head spins and my eyes flutter rapidly attempting to refocus vision. Theres a ringing in my ear as the growing pain slowly consume my body. It was only when I felt the icy cold wetness of the stream seep through my clothing on the left side of my body. I gasp and quickly roll to my side.

Grunting, I roll once more over onto my stomach and push myself up with all the strength I had left. I slide my knees inwards until I was propped on my hands and knees. My body begins to shiver violently as the shock of the cold subsides and my breathing quickens to a pant. I look around to see that I was still very much alone and lift myself up into a kneeling position. I take a few seconds to think of what I should now. Then the burning in my throat reminds me of how desperately I needed water.

I lean down with one palm to support my weight while my free hand reached for the stream. Quickly, I scooped water from the stream and carefully cupped my hand to my mouth to drink. I let the bite of the cold water sting my mouth, but I keep the water in my mouth until it warmed enough for me to swallow. I cupped water into my mouth three more times before going back to my kneeling position. The shivering overtaking my body once again.

I look forward towards the trees and decided I would have to go in and hope that there would be any kind of shelter so I can strip off my wet clothes and make a fire to warm my body. I take two deep breaths to calm myself and pull myself up to my feet. Thankfully, the stream was only ankle deep and my boots were well enough to keep water out. I quickly but carefully cross the stream and go deep into the woods.

An hour of wandering would past before finding an uprooted tree with enough space underneath for me to lay in. The woods lay silent and the only thing that could be heard were the chattering of my teeth. At this point, my entire left side was terribly numb. I was convinced it was already dead. However, the fact that my mind could still make it move gave me enough hope that I would be okay.

I manage to find some wood that was dry enough to use. I take the flint rock I found at the start of my venture and a pocketknife to create spark for a flame. After a few tries, I was able to make a fire. Once the fire was ablaze, I quickly strip my clothes. The cold bites every part of my exposed body but I quickly put on my second set of clothes. From being in the cold for two days now, the set of clothes did not hold warmth as it touched my body. I did not have another jacket so I knew I would have to remain by the fire until my jacket was dry enough to put on. Thankfully, I did bring a wool blanket. I pulled it out of my pack and wrap myself from my neck, letting the blanket drape around my body. Lastly, I re-braid my auburn hair down my back to keep the wetness from touching my neck.

My jacket added extra warmth along with my blanket. But since my jacket was drying, I did my best rotating my body to share the warmth of the fire. I looked up at the sun and estimated how long I had left before the sun would set and from the looks of it, I had about 3 more hours. I exhale deeply, hoping my jacket would be dry in time before dark.

As I waited, I ate the last half of my fifth and last apple. Anxiety starts to build as I think about what I should do now that I was out of food. How far had I gone? Was I even near the Summer Court? Did I even go the right direction? I shake my head as if to shake the regret creeping up my neck. You didn’t make a stupid decision, Ayne. I try to tell myself, but my breathing quickens, and all the worst kinds of thoughts swarm my mind. My throat feels like it could shut any minute and my eyes dart in every direction as if the solution to my problem could be found in these woods and –

Snap.

I dart my head to the noise and my breathing halts while the blood drains from my face.

From afar, I see a giant white figure move through the trees. I inhale deeply but don’t exhale. My body still as possible and –

Crack!

The flame crackles and the white figure stops. The figure’s head turns towards me and then I knew what was staring straight back at me.

A great white bear.

I’ve only read about these creatures but never had the chance to see one in person. The ones that are used by the sentries have been trained and taught to be loyal to the court. But the ones roaming freely will show no mercy to anyone who they deem as unwanted. And from the growl that ripples through the distance between me and the white bear, I was undoubtedly unwanted.

Without any more thought, I ran.

I didn’t know what direction I was running but I didn’t care. I was not going to let this white bear be the reason for my death.

My chest burns and my body begs for me to stop yet the adrenaline overdrives and I’m practically leaping with each step. As much as I want to, I don’t look back and quicken my pace as much as I could. The trampling sounds of the white bear seems to get closer, but I straighten my posture and keep running forward.

Only minutes has passed but it felt like an eternity of running. I kept running until a clearing can be seen and I pray that there would be anything to separate me from the white bear.

I try to stop myself from running once I reach the clearing of the woods, but the weight of my body pushes me forward and over the cliff. A scream rips out of my body only for a few seconds before hitting the slanted ground. I don’t have time to look up and measure the drop as my body begins to tumble down the slant of the drop. I wince and whimper with every impact of every poking branch or giant rock. My middle hits and rolls over a giant rock, ripping the breath out of me and my eyes water in response to the pain of the hit.

I gasp deeply and my eyes widen from the shock when my back finally slams on the flat surface. The shock still overwhelms me as I look from where I dropped. It was high enough to make the white bear halt from its pursuit to me. I stare at the white bear as it shifts from one side to the other in attempts to make its way down. I exhale deeply when the white bear retreats and sinks back into the woods. I turn my head away from the cliff and confusion falls in.

Red. Orange. Yellow.

Every single tree in my sight were covered with red, orange, or yellow leaves.

I was in the Autumn Court.

My body shakes and my chest rises and drops in an unsteady beat, panting for air. My eyes flutter rapidly, fighting to refocus my vision and fight back the tears that began to flood my eyes. I whimper softly, biting my lower lips tightly as a shooting pain is felt in my right shoulder when I try to move.

When the reality sets in me that my shoulder was most likely out of place, my breathing hitches and I cry out as if accepting defeat. The tears flow through the side of my eyes and my body slightly warms from the overwhelming emotions running through me. I shake my head to protest the defeat my body wanted to claim over me.

“No, no, no.”

I cry out. I didn’t want to die. Not like this.

I didn’t want to die like this but there was nothing I could think of that could save me from this. So, I continued to cry. I cried and cried until I choked on the saliva that dripped down my throat. My body jolts from the cough repeatedly which shifts my shoulder slightly. It moved slightly and yet the shoulder pain spreads rapidly through me. I screamed for a long second and then I was unconscious.

My body jerks and my eyes shoot open. I let myself lay on my back for a few seconds before I shift my head in any direction and notice I’m no longer on the rocky ground but on a cot that envelopes my body. I turn my head upwards again and see the ceiling of a deep brown tent draping over and I hear fire crackling from a few feet away.

It takes only a while to notice my right arm is in a sling and the shooting pain is now sore with a slight pinching feel. I roll to my good side and push my body up and away from the cot and loop my legs over letting my feet hit the ground which is covered by a deep red rug with gold swirls along the borders of it. I scan through the tent on my right side and see traditional camping gear such as lanterns, foldable tables and chairs, a few books and a half-finished puzzle.

“Took you long enough to wake up.”

I quickly turn my head to the left and the tent was wide open. Just a few feet away from the tent, was a roaring fire with a setting sun in the background. The orange and blue hues blended in with the Autumn trees which surrounded the grounds while the cool crisp breeze ripples through the tent.

By the fire, sat a man who seemed tall despite sitting. His warm red hair was long enough to droop over his forehead, his eyes were of an amber color, and his skin was pale. His face was undeniably beautiful despite not showing much emotion. He straightens his posture, one hand resting on his thigh while the other hanging to his side. He doesn’t say a word as if anticipating a response from me.

I let out the breath I held in my lungs, and I bite my lower trembling lip.

“The Autumn Court is to be feared. They never let anyone in. If anyone trespasses, you’re no better than dead.”

The reminder from a servant runs through my mind.

I swallow deeply and take in a deep breath before speaking.

“Are you going to kill me?” I ask.

Still no expression on his face but I can see that he’s studying me and then he scoffs. Not necessarily smiling but scoffs as if in disbelief.

“Why would I kill the people of my court?”

The fear in my face is now wiped away as confusion sets in.

“But I’m not – Your court? You’re the High Lord Beron? I expected him to look older.”

A laugh escapes his mouth but again, it’s a laugh of disbelief. But he doesn’t say anything. As afraid as I was for my life in this moment, I was also now frustrated with his lack of responding.

“I’m sorry, but I’m not from the Autumn Court and if you’re not the High Lord Beron then who are you exactly if you claim this court as yours?” I say, letting the annoyance fill my tone.

The man stretches out his leg towards the fire, kicking one leg over the other. Then folds his arms across his chest. He sighs deeply before responding.

“The intricately designed burn mark over your shoulder tells me you are of the Autumn Court. And as much as I enjoy torturing people, I would never harm my people.”

He continues to provide answers, yet they’re not fully answer. But my right arm folds up to touch my shoulder. I always forget that the burn mark is there. I don’t remember how I got it because I was too young then. No one ever thought of giving me any sort of detail either. So, I never paid much attention to it.

He tilts his head as if waiting but I can’t pull myself to respond.

He sighs deeply again, “I’m the eldest son of the High Lord Beron.”

His tone straightens as if expecting me to understand him, but I don’t. I only knew of each High Lord’s name but never knew their faces or their lineage.

He tilts his head again. Finally, emotions can be noticed on his face. Now he was the one confused as he tilts his head to the other side.

“If you’re not from the Autumn Court, then where did you come from?”

I hesitate and wonder if he’ll kill me instantly if I tell him, but I tell him anyway. If he wanted to kill me, he would have done it by now, right?

“The Winter Court. I’ve been there for as long as I can remember.”

His confused expression doesn’t change but he shifts his body. His feet are planted on the ground again as he leans forward to rest his forearms on his knees, twining his fingers together. He waits a few seconds before speaking.

“How did an Autumn Court faeri, end up over there?”

I knew it wasn’t a question directed towards me, so I don’t respond. I take in a deep breath and try my luck again.

“You still haven’t told me your name. And how did you find me? How did I get here? What am I doing here?” Words spill out of my mouth, but I don’t fight it because he’s taking too damned long to answer me anyway.

He grins. Finally. Another emotion I can read.

“You can call me Eris. And what you’re doing is interrupting my solo birthday trip in the woods.”

Answers, but not entirely also. But he doesn’t say more. What was this? What was he trying to get out of me?

As if I knew he would ask, I tell him, “I didn’t mean to be here. I was trying to make my way to the Summer Court.” For refuge, but that would be too much information to give.

Eris looks at me with disbelief, “You were trying to get to the Summer Court without anything on you?”

I immediately look over myself and realize I had left everything I owned when fleeing from the white bear. I shook my head, mostly directed towards myself. Disappointed that I did this to myself.

I look back up to Eris, “I left it when I was chased by a white bear.”

He doesn’t say anything and goes back to his emotionless face. What is up with him?

The silence lingers a little too long making me feel unsettled.

“If you point me to the direction of the Summer Court, I’ll be on my way so you can resume your little getaway.”

I try to sound confident, but my voice slightly cracks at the end.

Eris chuckles under his breath but keeps his eyes on me.

“If I let you leave on your own – let you roam the Autumn Court on your own, you will most likely be killed then. Not by me of course but the sentries because to them, anyone roaming these areas are immediately intruders in their eyes. Unless you want to go back up to that cliff and deal with the white bears instead. But even then, you are much further way from where you dropped.”

“Then what am I supposed to do?” I blurt out immediately in disbelief to know I had no options of leaving.

Eris maintains his calm demeanor and folds his arms against his chest again.

“Well, I refuse to let you ruin this trip by cutting it short. So, for now, you’ll let me enjoy my peace and when this trip is over, we’ll figure out where you’ll go.”

Anger fumes through me and now I was the one scoffing in disbelief.

“And why would I wait around here with you?”

“So, you’d rather be food for the white bears?”

I bite my lip to hold back words I might regret. I look at Eris, making sure he could see the anger in me but of course, he doesn’t react.

“I’m not holding you captive. Nor will I do anything to you. I just gave you your options and you are free to decide. So, if you choose to go, go. But if you want to be safe, then stay.”

Eris takes the fire picker that laid on the ground and picks the fire. His gaze finally turns away from me to focus on what he was doing – as if he wanted to end this conversation.

I sigh deeply and lay back down to force myself to sleep again. I lay there staring at the ceiling of the tent and let the many emotions sink in. I felt relieved knowing I wasn’t going to die but I also felt anxious not knowing what will happen to me despite Eris’ words of not harming me.

Silence fills our space for another thirty seconds until I ask, “And how many more days do we have of this trip?”

“About five more days,” he answers nonchalantly.

I shoot back up and wince at the pain in my shoulder, “Five more days? What am I supposed to do?!”

Eris doesn’t look up at me and continues to pick at the fire, blatantly ignoring me.

“Fine!” I say angrily and lay back down. Shutting my eyes tightly until sleep finally overtakes me again.

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