#even though white suits him it doesn’t mean he’s white so jot that down

[mymitochondriaforpresident]

wilmon the mlm interclass interracial ship of my dreams tbh 💜💜

[romeoandjulietyouwish]

contains spoilers for what if? episode 5

Read on ao3

Tony drums his fingers on his desk, eyes quickly scanning over the code in front of him. It’s nearly perfect, but he’s come to expect that from Peter Parker. The few mistakes Tony spots aren’t even major, a mistyped number or a backwards phrase. Just evidence that Peter was working on it as it came to him.

Tony smiles to himself. That kid is going to grow up to be something amazing. He’s nearly surpassed Tony with his intelligence, not to mention his kindness and selflessness. The world will change because of Peter.

As Tony is quietly musing his protegee, a soft snore comes from the couch in the corner. Tony glances over to see Peter fast asleep on the couch, curled up on his side with a soft Spiderman blanket draped over his shoulders. A soft smile crosses Tony’s face. He should get Peter upstairs soon.

But the kid’s had a long day and it’s Friday so Tony turns back to the monitor and continues reading over the code. Peter’s been trying to make his own AI. The one in front of Tony is rudimentary, nowhere near the level of FRIDAY or Karen, but by the looks of it, Peter is well on his way to creating an AI like that.

Tony spends a good twenty minutes looking over Peter’s code and correcting the errors he sees. Though he makes sure to jot down all of the errors, knowing Peter will want to know what he changed. Then Peter’s snores stop.

It’s usually a sign that the kid will be waking up soon, but Tony’s gut tells him that something isn’t right. He swivels around in his chair and finds Peter still fast asleep though the boy’s brow is furrowed, his breathing is faster, and his knuckles are white with how tight he’s clutching the edge of the blanket.

Tony sighs in sympathy. Nightmares have, unfortunately, been a constant for Peter. According to May, he’s had them since after his parents died, though they’ve only gained in frequency since then. Tony’s borne witness to a handful of these nightmares and due to his own experience with them, has gotten quite good at calming Peter down after.

So, Tony gets out of his chair and kneels down beside the couch, right next to Peter’s head. Tony puts a hand on Peter’s shoulder and gives the kid a gentle shake. “Time to wake up, kiddo,” Tony says gently. When Peter doesn’t stir, he gives him another shake. “Come on, bud. It’s just a nightmare. Everything’s okay-”

Tony’s comforting words are cut off as Peter wakes up with a gasp, eyes wide. before Tony knows what’s happening, Peter swings his fist out, clocking Tony solidly on the cheek.

Peter’s super strength knocks Tony completely to the ground with a sickening thwack!

“Oh my god!” Peter shouts. Tony groans as he sits up, clutching his head. “Mr. Stark, I’m so sorry I-I didn’t mean to I promise!”

“It’s okay,” Tony assures him, opening and shutting his jaw to make sure nothing broke. “That was a good hit, Happy would be proud.”

To Tony’s surprise, Peter’s eyes fill with tears and the kid balls himself up into the corner of the couch. Tony frowns and gets up slowly, telegraphing his movements as he sits down on the couch a foot or so away from the kid.

“What’s wrong, kid?” Tony asks gently.

“Just a stupid nightmare,” Peter tells him. “It’s fine.”

“It’s clearly not.”

Peter shakes his head, “You’ll think I’m being silly.”

“I won’t, I promise.” Tony takes Peter’s hand in his, giving it a light squeeze. “Whatever it is is clearly upsetting you.”

“I had a dream,” Peter begins, looking at their hands, “that...that everyone got turned into zombies. And there were only a couple of us left, Happy, Dr. Banner, Ms. Van Dyne, Bucky, Okoye, Ms. Carter...” Peter trails off, shaking his head, “And we had to fight all of you and one by one everyone left kept-kept dying and they were turning on us and-”

Peter cuts himself off with a shaky inhale. “Oh, kid.” Tony wraps an arm around Peter’s shoulders and draws him into his side. Peter lets himself fall into Tony, turning his head against Tony’s chest.

“I know it’s not real,” Peter says quietly, tears making his voice thick. “But it...it felt like it was and it felt like I was losing everyone I loved all at once.”

Tony says nothing, his just gathers Peter into his arms and holds him, resting his cheek on the top of Peter’s curls. Peter clings to him tightly. Out of Peter’s sight, Tony allows himself to cringe at the pain coursing through his right cheek.

“I’m sorry for hitting you,” Peter says after a long moment.

“It’s okay, peanut,” Tony tells him. “You were scared. I did the same thing to Pepper when I was having a nightmare. I’m fine, maybe I’ll get a bruise. You know women find those very attractive.”

“Eww,” Peter groans, just like Tony knew he would.

Tony chuckles and kisses the top of Peter’s head. “Oh! I’m almost done looking over your code. It looks really good, kid.”

Peter looks up at Tony eagerly, “Really?”

Tony nods, “Yep. We can test it tomorrow if you want.” Peter smiles so wide Tony fears his face might crack in two. “I take it that’s a yes.”

“Duh!” Peter leans back into Tony’s side with a content smile.

Tony holds him for a moment, letting Peter soak up the comfort he knows the kid still needs. “I think it’s time for spider baby to go to bed,” Tony says when Peter yawns.

Peter’s face falls immediately. “I don’t want to have another nightmare.”

“I know,” Tony brushes back a strand of his hair. “But you need to sleep. FRIDAY will tell me if you start having a nightmare and I will come wake you up, okay?”

“Fine.” Peter pouts a little as he stands, Tony follows suit. Tony snags the Spiderman blanket off the couch and tucks it snuggly around Peter’s shoulders.

“Sweet dreams,” Tony says, planting a kiss on Peter’s forehead before giving him a gentle push to the door.

Peter gives him a look, “You should go to bed too.”

Tony rolls his eyes, “I will. I’m going to finish looking over the code and then I’ll go straight to bed.” He puts a hand over his heart and three fingers up next to his head, “Scout’s honor.”

It’s Peter’s turn to roll his eyes, muttering something about Tony never being a boy scout, but he does turn and walk towards the door. “Night, Mr. Stark.”

“Night, kiddo.”

[doubleleoenergy]

FIRE & DESIRE

You a real ass woman and I like it. I don't wanna fight it.

Pairing: sub!Sam Wilson x dom!Reader

Summary: Sam is coming home from a rough Captain America-related meeting and Reader wants to try something she watched on a Netflix show while he was away.

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, faceriding, blindfolds, sensory deprivation, bondage (tie), dirty talk, smut

Word Count:  2082

Author’s Notes: Thank you to @midnightf​ helping me come up with the perfect idea, and also thank you to @evanstan-hoe​ for giving me the courage to write again!

Sam makes his way out of his car, grabbing his briefcase out of the backseat before making his way to the front door of his home. Fumbling with his keys, Sam unlocks the door and shuts it behind him, setting his briefcase down against the hardwood floor.

“Babe, I’m back.” He calls out, grumbling as he knocks off his loafers. He and Joaquin met with the Sergeant and his team about the logistics of a rescue mission next week in Sierra Leone, and he promised to fill Bucky in tomorrow when they meet for their weekly lunch at their favorite diner by Bucky’s apartment. The meeting was not necessarily BAD, but it was exhausting sitting through nine hours of briefs and information when all he wanted to do was get out of his suit and crawl back into bed. It’s not that he didn’t WANT to be Captain America, it’s just that now that he met y/n he wanted to spend any free time he had with her.

They met through his sister Sarah when he came to take his nephews out fishing three months ago, and was instantly drawn to her. Y/N had moved to town just before Sam moved back to be closer to Sarah and the boys, he asked her out the same day they met and the rest was HISTORY. Y/N preferred to stay over at his place when he wasn’t on a mission, which Sam didn’t mind. She actually helped to make the place much more warm and inviting, helping him pick out furniture and insisting on THROW pillows on the couch. What’s the point of a throw pillow if it’s just for decoration? Sam didn’t mind though, he loved that the decor reminded him of her, and that he actually felt at home with someone.

“In here!” Y/N calls from the bedroom, waiting for him to walk through the open door. She had spent the morning cleaning and prepping for dinner tonight before settling back into bed and watching a new show on Netflix. There was less plot than PORN it seemed, and one particular scene in the third episode gave her an IDEA. She was anxiously awaiting Sam’s arrival ever since, and now it was finally time to help him blow off some steam.

Sam’s footsteps are heavy against the wood floor, walking into the bedroom and tugging at the tie around his neck. “God, that meeting took SO long. I need to get out of these clothes and jump in a hot shower.” He wanted to wash the hours spent in his suit jotting down notes and setting up their plan for the mission off his body and out of his mind.

“Well, actually I’ve been waiting for you. I wanted to try something I saw on tv.” Before Sam can protest, she moves closer, pressing a finger to his lips. “-And don’t tell me that you’d rather take a shower and RELAX. I’ve been waiting for you to get home and I know we both need some relief.”

Sam cocks a brow at her, watching as she pulls the tie from around his neck and holds it in her hands. “Now STRIP.” Her voice is soft, but she’s never told him to do that before. He doesn’t protest though, he had been wanting to get out of the suit ever since he put it on that morning, taking no time at all to pull off the white button-up, belt, and trousers, standing in front of her with just his black Calvin Klein boxers.

“Take those off too.” She motions to the boxers on his chiseled frame. “Then I need you to move onto the bed and sit up against the headboard.” She watches him with LUST filled eyes, tugging the hem of Sam’s oversized shirt over her own head and slipping down her lacey black thong. She’s naked now, just like him, moving over to the bed to straddle his legs. Sam reaches down to touch her hip and she slaps his hand away.

“Put your hands up to the headboard, over your HEAD.” He’s confused, furrowing his brows but doing as he’s told, watching as she takes the silky black tie she had just pulled off his neck and tying it around his hands, looping it through the slits in the headboard before making a taut knot to keep him in place.

“So you’re not going to let me TOUCH you?” His voice comes out a bit rough, Sam loves to touch her body, roam his hands all over he soft skin, but today is different.

“Nope, not unless you’re GOOD. Now, I’m going to slip this on over your eyes so you can’t see anything.” She’s leaning over to the nightstand, pulling out a navy blue mask with the words ‘Beauty Sleep’ written out in cursive across the front. “You’re going to have me wear your SLEEPING mask?”

“I didn’t have a real blindfold, okay? Just pretend it’s not girly.” She slips it on over his head, the silk pushing over his eyes until he’s enveloped in darkness. This is totally new, he can’t see her but he can FEEL her still straddling his legs still, making his cock twitch and fill with blood.

“You’re going to be quiet unless I ask you to speak.” Her voice is low, and he can feel her moving her weight off of his legs as her feet step on either side of his torso. He can FEEL her hovering above him, feel the warmth of her body as it staggers above close to him. He can smell the mix of her vanilla lavender lotion on her skin, his favorite.

“You’re going to get me off with just your MOUTH.” She moves over his face and he can SMELL her pussy before he feels her dip down so he can reach her lips. He is so turned on by the way she’s making him submit to her and takes no time at all to start lapping at her core, taking in the sweetness of her wetness as he moves his tongue in and out. He wishes he could use his FINGERS, fuck into her so he can hear the wet noises coming from her folds, but of course she’s got him tied up. His cock is hard and throbbing against his abdomen and he lets out a moan into her pussy, sending shivers down her spine.

“Fuck, Sam you’re SO good with your mouth.” She moves her fingers along his short hair, nothing to grip except the back of his head as she pushes his mouth deeper into her core. With the moan that leaves his lips again she can tell he’s INTO it and she wastes no time, moving her hips along his face, riding it. Sam’s mustache is tickling right along her clit, drops of sweat pooling along her brow, heat building up in her chest.

“Baby I’ve been waiting all DAY to try this out on you, saw it on a Netflix show and knew it’d be so hot. Everything is hot with you.” Her breath is becoming ragged and Sam KNOWS that means she’s close, she’s riding his face hard and he’s bucking his hips up in the air for some relief but he feels her slap his shoulder lightly. “Do NOT move. This is about me right now.”

A few minutes later she’s coming undone ABOVE him, her orgasm ripping through her as she cums on Sam’s face. He wants it all, every last drop of her and he’s lapping it all up like a kitten with a bowl of milk. Y/N grabs the headboard for support, legs shaking as she finally moves off of his mouth.

“Y/N please…” She moves to straddle his thighs again, watching as his cock bounced against his chest. He was so fit, like a GREEK GOD at her disposal and she licks her lips. “Please what?” He groans again, tugging his arms against the silk tie but not enough to break free.

“Fuck, please y/n do something, ANYTHING….baby please, need you to touch me.” He can’t see her still with the mask over his eyes but he can feel her thin fingers as they FINALLY grip the base of his cock, stroking lightly.

“You’re gonna keep the mask on this whole time.” She strokes his cock a few times, noticing the precum start to leak from the tip down the shaft and she moves so she’s above him again, hovering her pussy over his cock. “You want this SAM, want me to sit on your fat cock?” 

He’s choking out a moan, eyes watering a bit. She never teases HIM like this and it’s driving him crazy. “Yes, baby...y/n please, use my cock baby, fuck just-” He’s cut off when he feels her sinking down slowly onto him until he feels her lips sitting flush against his skin, bottoming out inside of her. She always feels so FULL from his cock.

“Fuck, Sam you feel so GOOD. I want you to just feel me, not be able to see what I’m actually doing. You can talk but you’re not allowed to move.” Her hand grips at his thigh so she can support herself, the other pressing against his chest, bouncing up and down on his cock. It feels so thick inside of her, her pussy throbbing. He doesn’t even had to touch her, doesn’t have to MOVE and she’s still losing her mind.

Sam struggles with not being able to SEE anything, but it’s as if his other senses are heightened. He’s focusing on just how good it feels to be INSIDE of her, how her walls clamp down on his cock, the sound of her moans filling the room.

“Baby, this is so hot...you’re so HOT. I don’t even care that I can’t see you because I can just IMAGINE how you look.” Sam can picture her plump breasts bouncing against her as she moves, her hair falling into her face and her lips pursed. She’s so beautiful, naked or not, she’s got him wrapped around his finger. He’s groaning now, knowing he can’t hold on much longer.

“Sam I want you to fill me up, fuck me full with your cum. Want to feel you inside me all day, want to feel it LEAKING from inside me as I finish dinner tonight.” Her words are only making it harder, she KNOWS he’s got a breeding kink when it comes to her, and her words are always the best way to egg him on and put him over the edge.

“Fuck I’m gonna-” His orgasm has him sending hot spurts of cum DEEP into her pussy and y/n stops her motions to just hold him in tight, wanting to savor the feeling. He’s breathing heavily now and she can see the sweat dripping off his chest. The feeling of his cum and the look of PLEASURE on his face has her cumming once again. Once he’s stopped twitching inside of her she pulls off of him slowly, tightening her walls to keep as much cum as she can inside, though she feels a dribble running down her thigh. Y/N moves beside Sam, first untying his hands from the headboard and then pulling off the mask and throwing it to the floor.

“Was that okay?” The submissive side of her coming out to make sure he’s pleased. Sam’s rough hands pull her to his side, his eyes FINALLY being able to take her in. He kisses her hair, fingers rubbing up and down the small of her back.

“Baby that was FANTASTIC. Who knew you’d be good at dominating me?” Her fingers aimlessly trail along his slick torso, curling her body further into his. “I might have to do that more often.” Eyes meet his, hers feeling slightly heavy from her two orgasms.

“So they have another mission for you, huh? When are you-” Sam kisses her lips, cutting her off. His fingers move to play with the loose strands of her hair, pulling away to give her a soft smile.

“It’s not until NEXT week, so let's not waste our time thinking or TALKING about it. Just want to focus on you.” He places another kiss on her head, her body relaxing as her eyes close.

“Besides, I’m definitely gonna need you to do all THIS again before I leave.”

[roman-writing]

bring home a haunting (7/10)

Fandom: The Haunting of Bly Manor

Pairing: Dani Clayton/Jamie Taylor

Rating: M

Wordcount: 36,959

Summary: Dani almost has her life together, when a familiar face arrives back in town after ten years. A childhood friends AU written with @youngbloodbuzz

Author notes: listen....we really meant it when we tagged this as comphet

read it below or read it on AO3 here

The desk did not fit. At least, not the way it should have. The first floor guest bedroom had the space, but everything about the desk's presence there felt off. It was the wrong colour, too golden-hued. It was the wrong shape. A corner desk would have suited better. It was the wrong size. Slightly too large, crowding the bed and the chest of drawers. In fact, the only thing that seemed right about it at all was the way Dani felt when she sat at it, when she sprawled her things atop it. When she sank down into the mismatched wooden chair with a sigh at the end of a long day. When she placed her bag on the ground, leaning against one of its legs. There was, finally, enough space for her to spread out, to do her work, to feel unimpeded by utensils or plates.

There was a knock at the open door behind her, and Dani turned around to see Eddie standing in the doorway, knuckles resting against the white-painted wooden surface. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah," she said, just as she'd told him time and time again over the last few weeks. "Of course. You don't need to keep asking me."

Even with permission, he lingered on the threshold, as though his shoulders were too broad to pass through the door frame. "Just feels weird," he said. "You being in here."

It should have felt considerate, but somehow all Dani could feel was a prickle of annoyance. She pushed it aside, swallowing down the unflagging suspicion that this was just some passive aggressive tactic aimed at her. Sometimes she wondered if that was all she ever saw because that was all she had ever been trained to see. Her mother's hand reaching through space and time to ring a bell in place of food.

Dani turned back around and straightened a few stacks of papers for wont of something to do with her hands rather than delve too deeply into that rabbit hole. "Did you need something?"

Behind her Eddie sounded puzzled. "Why? Do I have to need something to talk to you?"

J ust a question, she told herself, taking a deep breath to steady herself. Just an honest question.

"No, of course not. I was just -" Dani gave a helpless little wave of one hand, then set down the papers with a sigh. She forced a bright smile onto her face and aimed it over her shoulder towards him. "What can I do for you?"

He stepped forward, finally crossing into her space, and it were as though the entire room shrank down around him until he seemed too large. The spare bed and the drawers and the desk and the chair and Dani — always Dani — dwindled into fixtures for dollhouses. "I just wanted to know if you needed some help packing," Eddie said. "I saw your bags out in the foyer, and I thought you might want a hand. So," he gestured to himself, "here I am."

Her smile relaxed somewhat. "Thank you, but I think I have everything."

"You sure? I think we have a spare tent in the garage, if you want me to check?"

"It's fine," Dani told him, and she took a step forward to place a grateful hand on his arm. "Really. Thank you."

His answering smile was fleeting. There and gone again in an instant. "So, you're gone the whole three days?"

Dani nodded and let her hand drop back to her side. "Yeah. It's just a quick camp a few hours north and then we're back on Monday afternoon. I've set aside some leftovers in the fridge for tonight, but you might want to go over to your mom's house for the other day. Or maybe you and Carson can go out."

At this, Eddie rolled his eyes. "I can feed myself, Danielle."

"I know that," she said.

His expression was thoughtful and then he asked, "Which leftovers?"

"Pot roast."

"You really do love me," he quipped, grinning.

Dani laughed. "Of course, I do." She turned back to her desk. "I just need to finish up some parent/guardian forms, and then I'm off."

It felt odd moving about this room with Eddie here. She could feel eyes following her every motion. The tuck of hair behind her ear. The opening of a drawer to fish for spare pens.

Eddie sat on the edge of the guest bed and the mattress creaked beneath his weight, sagging slightly. "Is Hannah still scratching around for volunteers?"

"Oh, you know her," Dani said in a distracted manner as she leaned over and jotted a few notes down on a form. "She's always looking for volunteers for these things."

"Why didn't you ask me?"

Blinking, Dani paused. She leaned her weight upon one hand, palm splayed out across the desk, and frowned over her shoulder. "What?"

"Why didn't you ask if I wanted to come help?"

"Well, I -" Dani fumbled for an answer. She fiddled with the pen in her spare hand, tried to write something, then gave up and said,  "I think there were limited spaces on the camp grounds this time around. And, besides, it's usually for parents or guardians. Which - you know - you're not."

"Maybe not now," Eddie said, shrugging. "But I'd like to be soon."

She froze, going stock still, forgetting to breathe. The mattress gave a creak of complaint behind her as Eddie shifted his weight and for a brief wild moment Dani was afraid he had risen to his feet and was going to approach her, touch her gently on the bowed line of her back. She gripped the pen so tightly in her hand she could see the sharp outline of her knuckles beneath skin. Setting the pen down, Dani straightened, back ramrod straight and turned around. She did not consciously move back — away from the bed, away from him — but she could feel the edge of the desk pressing into the jut of her hip as she faced him.

"You know I'm not -" Dani cleared her throat, looking anywhere but directly at him, focusing instead on the pattern of the duvet cover. "It's not a good time."

"Don't you want kids?" he asked, and his voice was softly curious. Somehow that was worse than yelling.

Dani's mouth worked but no sound came out. "I want -" she said, "- to want them."

"What does that mean?"

"It - well, I mean - I -" It was a struggle to take a deep breath, as though the passageways of her lungs were tight and constricted. "I think we should wait. Until we're married at least. Before we have this conversation."

She could see him nodding from the edge of her vision, a slightly blurred figure with dark hair and glasses that were streaks of reflected morning sunlight that streamed through the windows. "Yeah. Of course," Eddie said. "Whenever you're ready. It doesn't have to be now."

She did not reply. Her hands were twisting themselves together behind her back. She could feel her palms sweating, going cold.

Eddie stood, taking a hesitant step closer. "Did I upset you?"

With a nervous breathy laugh, Dani shook her head. "No," she lied. "No, of course not. I just wasn't expecting it. That's all."

"All right," he said, stopping less than a pace away so he could place his broad hands gently on her shoulders. "I'm sorry if this was - if I blindsided you, or something. I thought I'd signposted it pretty early, to be honest."

"You did."

And he had. Eddie's wants and desires were always clear. He did not employ the oblique tactics that Dani was so accustomed to. The social contract he offered had always been upfront. Like a hand reaching out. An offering. A choice. One she could have disregarded from the very beginning.

If only it were that simple.

Dani touched his elbows and tried her best to smile. "I might head off a bit early. I need to go over the schedule with Hannah. You know. Make sure everything's okay before we leave."

"Yeah, sure." Eddie lowered his hands but only after he had leaned forward for a quick peck to her forehead. "And remember to have fun too, all right?"

"I will."

Ducking her head, Dani slipped from the room. She did not stop walking until she had put on her shoes in the entryway and picked up her packed bags. She did not remember to breathe properly until she was fumbling for her keys and jamming everything into the trunk of her station wagon, until she was sitting in the driver's seat and gripping the steering wheel. Eddie had trailed behind her through the house and now stood at the front door. He squinted in the early morning sunlight, lifting his hand to give her a wave.

Dani exhaled the breath she had been holding in one long thread expelled from her lungs. She turned the key in the ignition and was relieved when the engine in her dying old car actually coughed to life without coaxing. Putting it into reverse, she pulled back from the house and drove away.

Faintly, she recalled that she'd told Eddie she would meet with Hannah, but at the first stop sign Dani's hand automatically drifted towards the indicator, pushing up to the right instead of pulling down to the left. The car seemed to drive itself, requiring no input from her, until it had carried her across town, away from the school, and onto the street where Jamie lived. When she parked and turned off the engine, Dani did not immediately open the door and instead stayed put, staring through the windows at the house. The front lawn was tidy. New rose bushes had been planted all along the walkway just a week prior. By some miracle, Jamie had found the time to replace the faded old numbers on the side of the house with shiny bronze ones that gleamed.

Just a house on a street, Dani thought. Like any house on any street.

Dani left her bags in the car. She didn't even bother locking it — North Liberty hadn't seen a robbery in seven years, and the last time the perpetrator was a student who'd been caught and reprimanded within a day. Striding up to the front door, Dani hesitated there. She tried to convince herself that this was stupid. That she should just leave, go talk to Hannah like she'd said, not be a liar. At one point she turned around, took a step towards her car, then shook her head and stormed back towards the front door and knocked on it.

Footsteps down the hall, and then Jamie was standing in the doorway wearing nothing but a ratty old band t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants with a hole at one knee. Over the course of the last few weeks since the library visit, Dani had hoped beyond measure that she would grow accustomed to the idea of being attracted to Jamie. That the notion would lose its polish the longer she mulled over it. Instead, it seemed to buff into a mirror shine. Until even the sight of Jamie's hair pulled hastily back from her face, stray curl over the arc of her ear, was enough to distract Dani utterly.

Jamie smiled, puzzled. "Hey," she said. "Didn't expect you at - what time even is it?"

Dani's arms were wrapped tightly around her midsection. She peeled one of them back to check her wristwatch. "Um -? Seven thirty?"

"Are we late?" Jamie asked, sending a puzzled glance over Dani's shoulder, as though there might be a bus waiting for them on the street.

Dani shook her head. "No. Everyone's still meeting at the school at nine. I just -" she tried to think of some excuse — what was it she'd told Eddie? something about schedules — but all that came out was, "- wanted to be here."

Apparently that was enough. Jamie stood back already waving her inside. "Come on in, then. We'll have time for breakfast before we bail."

"Thanks," Dani said and she stepped inside.

It wasn't the first time she had been in Jamie's house since the library, but the weekly visits had slowed somewhat. Dani had actually found herself at church for the first time in what felt like months since Jamie's arrival back in town. Certainly people expressed their surprise upon seeing her there. But always inevitably she would seem to wend her way back here at the end of the day. Food in tremulous hand. Waiting to be invited in like a lost traveler seeking shelter from the elements.

The hinges creaked as Jamie closed the door behind them. Jamie frowned at the door frame. "Thought I'd fixed that bit of rust a few weeks ago. Bloody thing. Mikey!" she raised her voice and made her way further inside. "Put on the kettle!"

Footsteps down the stairs and Mikey rounded the corner into view. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "Stop yelling - Oh. Hi, Dani."

Dani waved, short and quick. "Good morning."

"Are we late?" he asked.

"No," said Jamie. "Now, go on and put on the kettle."

He rolled his eyes and wandered off towards the kitchen. "God, you're grumpy before you've eaten."

"Then put on some toast while you’re at it!" she called after him.

"All right. All right. Geeze."

Nothing had changed. Dani glanced around, took quick inventory of the space. Everything was exactly as it had been before. The faded blue sofa. The freshly painted walls. The carpet in need of replacement. And yet -

"Everything all right, Poppins?"

Dani jerked at the sound of Jamie's voice suddenly nearer to her than before. She turned to find Jamie watching her closely, a slight furrow to her brow. "Yeah," said Dani, trying to force a chipper note into her words. "Everything's great. Why?"

"Well," Jamie scratched at the back of her neck, "You look like you're waiting for the other shoe to drop, and I'm wondering what's caused it."

Dani tried to smile, to laugh it off, but the laugh came out in a single breathy exhalation that quickly faded on the air. "There's nothing. I'm fine."

Jamie lifted an incredulous eyebrow. "Karen giving you trouble again?"

"No. No, she's behaving."

"Doesn't sound like her," Jamie muttered.

It would have been easy to throw her mother under the bus. Jamie would have believed it — and with just cause. Instead Dani's eyes darted towards the kitchen, and she lowered her voice slightly. "It's just," she cleared her throat. "People on Sunday morning asking me and Eddie all sorts of questions about - you know -"

"Getting hitched," Jamie supplied helpfully.

"Yeah. And -" She trailed off, teeth clamping shut around the words.

"And?" Jamie said slowly, encouragingly.

Shifting her weight and studying her feet, Dani said, "Kids."

Jamie made an understanding noise. "People are nosy fuckers round here, aren't they?"

That made Dani laugh. She looked up, biting her lower lip to keep a fully-fledged smile at bay. Jamie was grinning at her, but her expression softened when she said, "Listen. Fuck 'em. What goes on between you and yours is none of anyone else's business. You don't owe anyone anything. Especially not answers to questions about when you're going to be pushing out a few bairns."

Dani nodded along, but replied, "It's not that I don't like kids, or anything."

“Didn’t say otherwise. And if you didn't, then you'd be in the wrong profession."

"Probably," Dani said dryly. "It's easier, is all. When they're not yours. And every time I think about being alone in a house with a newborn baby, I just -" She trailed off, making a helpless gesture with one hand.

"Have you spoken to Ed about this?"

"Yeah."

"And?" Jamie repeated.

Dani gave a shrug.

"Shouldn't he be running interference for you? Telling people to piss off and mind their own business?"

"He does. In his own way. But it’s all - it’s very -" Dani swallowed past a burr in her throat, holding the words back. How could she say it aloud? That having a child was just another bar on the cage? People like her didn’t say that. People like her were supposed to be gushing over florals and dresses for the big day. She should have picked a venue by now. She should have made a guest list by now. She should have felt something by now. 

"Hey."

She tensed when she felt Jamie's hand on her arm, but did not move away. It shouldn't have been possible for Jamie to be half as kind, when Dani had done nothing but barge into her house unannounced at an ungodly hour, when Dani had done nothing but complain in her foyer before they could even make it to polite talk over cups of tea and slices of toast. Yet here she stood, gently grasping Dani's arm with warm fingers, looking at her as if Dani'd hung the moon on a chain.

"We honestly don't have to talk about it if you don't want to," said Jamie. "But trust me: having a kid? Completely overrated."

In spite of herself, Dani smiled, shaking her head.

"No, I mean it," Jamie continued. "They're noisy. They're smelly. They're annoying. They make a hell of a mess. And — fuck me — they're expensive."

"That's different. Mikey's different."

"Don't see how. But, hey -" Jamie winked and indicated back towards the kitchen with a jerk of her head. "If it's easier when they're not yours, then you're welcome to come boss this one around whenever you like. Better yet, get good old Ed to come 'round. He won't be making noise about having kids after a weekend of that."

"How very thoughtful of you," Dani said.

"I'm serious. Get this kid out of my hair. Please. I'm begging of you."

Jamie had taken both her hands now, imploring. Dani chuckled, twining their fingers together. They stood close enough that she could clearly see the scar at Jamie's lip even in the indirect light of the entryway. The callouses on Jamie's hands were rough, but her grin was soft. Dani tried to remember to breathe, but found she couldn't when faced with the graze of Jamie's fingertips at the undersides of her wrists.

"Are you two going to hold hands all morning, or do you actually want tea?"

Dani jerked her hands away. Mikey was standing in the door leading to the kitchen, looking exasperated. 

Jamie turned around with a roll of her eyes. "I don't smell burnt toast," she said. "So either you finally figured out what setting to put the toaster at, or you haven't made any."

"I worked out that setting weeks ago."

"Sure you did, Einstein."

Indignant, Mikey stomped back into the kitchen and re-emerged with a plate of toast piled up high as proof.

Jamie reached out, grabbed a piece of toast and stuck one of the corners into her mouth for a bite. "Cheers, mate," she said around a mouthful.

Dani watched the slow realization dawn on Mikey's face that he'd been tricked into bringing out breakfast. His face crumpled up in sheer annoyance.

"God, you're so -!" he started to say, but stopped.

Jamie waited for him to finish his sentence. When he didn't, she gestured with the toast and looked disappointed. "What? That's it? Weak."

"You can pour your own tea," he grumbled and then slouched right back into the kitchen.

"At least leave the plate!" Jamie called out but even as she spoke she trailed after him, pausing to glance over her shoulder at Dani. "You hungry?"

Dani's stomach was still roiling, but she nodded and forced a smile into place. "I could eat."

"Well, c'mon then. You know where everything is."

Straightening her shoulders, Dani followed. She could do this, she told herself. It was just a weekend. It was just Jamie. And the kids would be there. She would have work; she would be too busy to think about — anything silly. It would be over before she even realised it, and she would return wondering why she had even spent the last few weeks panicking.

She could handle this.

--

She could not handle this.

"I'm sorry," said Dani, blinking rapidly and lifting her hand to shield her eyes from the glare of sunlight. "Can you repeat that? I don't think I heard you properly."

The air was muggy and thick with the buzzing of flies. Late afternoon sunlight streamed over the tops of an endless canopy of pine trees, slanting shadows across the large clearing in which the camp grounds and their assorted buildings were situated. The faded school buses had long since unloaded and were now pulling away with a tell-tale gasp of the doors sliding shut. Kids milled about, overly excited to be free after four hours of being cooped up in buses.

It was loud. And warm. And in her haste to leave the house this morning Dani had forgotten her hat.

"Well, the bunks are all full," Hannah said, pointing towards a few of the timber buildings with her clipboard. "And it appears that we forgot to load all the tents into the buses this morning. Though, I was sure I'd counted them twice." Hannah frowned down at the clipboard, lifting a page delicately to see the checklist.

Dani nodded, trying to get a better look at the clipboard's notes. "No, I got that. But - you said something about sharing? You mean one of the rooms, right?"

Hannah let the page drift back down and clasped the clipboard to her chest. She aimed an apologetic grimace at Dani. "I'm afraid the bunks are for the children, and the rooms are for camp staff. Teachers, parents, and guardians were supposed to each have their own tent, but -" she shrugged helplessly. "- needs must."

"Right," Dani said, faintly. "You - uh - you also mentioned -" She slapped absently at a mosquito that landed on her arm. "- Jamie?"

"I had assumed that because you and Miss Taylor are friends, you wouldn't mind doubling up. Most of the adults seem to have paired off already. Although," Hannah glanced around, looking thoughtful. "I do believe Mrs. Pullman's tent is still available, if you'd like me to ask her?"

Dani made an abortive motion to stop Hannah and said quickly, "No! I mean -" she cleared her throat and continued in a lower tone, "I wouldn't want to put Jackie out."

Indeed, the only thing worse than sharing a tent with Jamie would be having to share a tent with Jackie Pullman. And Hell would freeze over before Jackie let Jamie share a tent with her.

Briefly, Dani entertained the idea of high-tailing it all the way back to civilization by herself and hitch-hiking to North Liberty. Blisters on her feet and the possibility of poor conversation with her future axe murderer would be a low price to pay in exchange. She had started chewing on the skin of her thumb before she could even realize it, and only stopped when she felt a gentle hand on her elbow.

"I do apologize for the oversight," Hannah said. "If it makes you feel any better, it appears I will be the one saddled with Mrs. Pullman."

"Oh, Hannah. You really are a martyr."

"Don't let my suffering be in vain," Hannah said under her breath, sharing a wicked little smile with her. Her eyes drifted to a spot over Dani's shoulder, and her expression hardened. "No, Mr. Loving! We discussed this! The bonfire isn't starting until sunset!"

And with one last harried look shared with Dani, Hannah was striding off, chastening a small group of kids who had gathered around the unlit fire pit in the hope that they might be able to indulge in some early afternoon arson.

Dani stood there, unsure of what to do with herself. All her bags were still at her feet. She chewed at her lower lip and wished she had let Eddie dig out that old tent from the garage earlier this morning. Then, she sighed and picked up her things. Slinging a bag over her shoulder, she put her rolled up sleeping bag and mat beneath her arms.  

It did not take long to find the nearby tent grounds. A flat space had been cleared of rocks and branches by staff, and was now filled with pairs of adults bickering over how best to erect a tent. Some recognized her as she passed, lifting their hands for a wave of acknowledgement before returning to their tasks. Most were  too wrapped up in their efforts to take any notice of her presence. And one or two had already succeeded, and were chatting amiably with their neighbors.

Dani drifted between the rows until she saw a familiar figure bent over double. Jamie was squatting down on her haunches, neatly arraying a deflated tent along the ground as though it were a sheet. Long thin poles had already been assembled and were awaiting further use.

Dani's steps had slowed as she approached. Jamie's head was bowed as she worked; she hadn't noticed Dani yet. A flannel shirt had been rolled up Jamie's forearms. The hem of the shirt draped along Jamie's bare legs, and Dani found herself tracing the length of Jamie's bare thighs with her eyes — surely those shorts weren't suitable for hiking or whatever activities usually happened at camp grounds; far too short, far far too short — until she swallowed and jerked her gaze up sharply towards the distant treeline.

Steeling herself with a shake of her head, Dani stopped behind her and said, "It looks like you have everything all under control over here."

Jamie put a few finishing touches on the tent as she answered, "Could still use a hand, if you're offering."

Dani nodded before she realized that Jamie couldn't see it. Then she set down her bags. "Where do you want me?"

Jamie waved towards the corner of the tent angled directly across from her. "On that side? I'm going to thread this thing through to you."

It was a relief, having something to do other than stand idly by. Something she could concentrate on besides the distracting strands of hair that had escaped the bandana tied around Jamie's head. Together they had the tent up in no time. No bickering necessary. Though Jamie did wince in sympathy when Dani accidentally whacked her own finger with a small mallet while ramming pegs into the ground to hold the tent down.

"You all right, there?" Jamie reached for Dani's hand.

Jerking her hand back, Dani stuck her injured finger into her mouth. "Fine," she mumbled around it.

Because of course she had looked up mid swing right when Jamie was standing to stretch, hands on her lower back, eyes closed and groaning faintly from crouching over for so long.

"Pass that over, then," Jamie said with a gesture towards the mallet.

Dani did so, careful so that their hands did not brush. Jamie made quick work of the last tent peg and soon she was unzipping the entrance and pushing the flap aside.

"Right or left?"

Clutching her bags to her chest, Dani said, "Uh - left?"

They set up their sleeping bags side by side. Dani was quietly horrified at just how close. There was barely enough room in the tent for their bags to line the base along the flimsy plastic canvas walls. At most they had a fistful of space between their sleeping arrangements, and she watched Jamie kneel on her sleeping bag and fluff up a pillow with a warm sinking feeling in her gut.

"You were just saying you missed sleep overs," Jamie said, grinning impishly over her shoulder. "This counts, doesn't it?"

"Mmm," Dani said with a wordless nod, chewing at her lower lip.

"Don't suppose you brought a saucy book? For old time's sake."

"I can't say I have," Dani said.

Jamie tutted. "Shame."

Dani was staring now. She was staring and Jamie was flopping down atop her sleeping bag, sprawled and spread-eagled with a sigh towards the arched ceiling of their tent. Swallowing thickly, Dani gave her head a little shake and tried to stand too quickly. Her head hit the top of the tent. Immediately she ducked back down, shoulders hunched, hands restless, trying to look everywhere but at Jamie, who was staring up at her in confusion.

"Excuse me," said Dani, settling her hands at her hips only to clench them at her sides. "I'm going to check in with Hannah and see if she needs any help."

Without waiting for a reply, she clambered gracelessly from the tent. As Dani fumbled to put her shoes back on outside, she heard Jamie's voice call after her, "See you at the bonfire, yeah?"

"Yeah! See you!" Dani replied, hoping beyond hope that her voice didn't carry a forced cheer and wincing when it inevitably did.

She strode off without a backward glance, eyes glued to the ground until she had passed the line of tents adjoining the main clearing. There, the small handful of camp counselors had begun wrangling kids into group activities. Several parents, too, had been roped into coming along to ensure that no one counselor was left with too many children to handle.

Hannah stood out like a rose amongst thorns, dressed all in regal reds and browns. She directed events around her as easily as a stone directed the flow of water. When Dani approached, she lit up with a warm smile. "All settled?"

"Yeah. All -" Dani waved back the way she'd come without looking around. "All good. What can I do to help?"

"Always eager. That's one of the things I like about you." Hannah said, then addressed her omnipresent clipboard. "There's a painting group just 'round the tables there, if you're keen. Otherwise, I have Mr. Dudley taking the kids on a small trek to the lake and back."

"The lake," said Dani quickly. "I'll go on the hike."

Anything to get away. Just for a while. Just to clear her head.

Hannah cast a quick glance down at her tennis shoes. "Are you going to be all right in those, dear?"

"Why? Are there many hills?"

"We are still in Iowa," Hannah said dryly. "So, no. And fair point. I believe you can catch the group at that old stump. The one at the front of the property? We would've driven by it on the way in."

Already nodding and starting to walk away, Dani assured her, "I know it. Thank you!"

"Take some sunscreen!" Hannah called after her, using the side of the clipboard by her mouth like a megaphone. "And a hat!"

But Dani was already trotting along, eager to be away. She barely managed to catch Mr. Dudley and the counselor leading the group of kids away like Pied Pipers through the trees. She had to jog to catch up to the tail end of the group and introduce herself to the counselor with a shake of her hand and a too-broad smile. Behind her the campgrounds dwindled behind the ever thickening boughs of trees closing in around them, until the world narrowed down to a warren of pine needles and dappled sunlight.

The lake was not far and it was far smaller than Dani had anticipated. When they arrived, several kids went sprinting ahead. Dani and the counselor had to dart forward and grab a few to keep them from splashing headlong off the small dock and into the water. Arms full of squirming eight year old, Dani swung the kid around by his torso until he laughed. She placed him back on the dock and off he went, dashing back to the others. The counselor hadn't been so lucky and was busy fishing another boy from the water with stern words.

"Swimming is tomorrow! Please! Out of the water!"

"Matthew!" Dani said, her tone warning. "Don't make me get your mother!"

The threat of parental involvement was enough and Matthew scrambled back onto the dock, dripping wet. The counselor mouthed a silent 'thank you' at Dani, who shrugged.

By the time they returned, dusk was washing lavender across the land. Several bonfires had been lit around the main campgrounds, casting their sparks into the sky as camp staff and teachers alike hauled spare wood and supplies closer to hand. Most of the parents were keeping kids occupied until the fires were ready for them. Dani's eyes cast about in search of a familiar head of dark curls, but instead she found Hannah sitting at a table full of camping equipment.

"I told you to wear sunscreen," Hannah sighed and shook her head with exasperation. "Honestly."

Dani lifted a hand to her cheek, pressing warm fingers to the skin there. "Oh, no. Is it really bad?"

Hannah grimaced. "I've seen worse. Luckily, we did not leave aloe vera behind. You'll need it."

"Sorry." Dani lowered her hand. "Anything I can do to make it up to you?"

Hannah gave a huff of laughter. "You're almost as bad as that new baker in town." Then she nodded towards one of the buildings. "Can you help bring in some of the ingredients for s'mores from the kitchens? I've no idea what those are, but I've been told they involve a great deal of sugar, so at least the kids will crash later."

"You've never had s'mores?"

"Very American."

"Huh," Dani said. "All right. I'll be back."

She turned to leave, but paused when she heard Hannah say, "Miss Clayton. A moment." And when she glanced back around Hannah was holding out a broad-brimmed straw hat towards her.

"Here."

"Oh," Dani hesitated to take it. "Is this yours?"

"One of the counselor's," Hannah explained and she shook it gently. "Don't worry. It's a spare. You're not putting anybody out."

Dani took it and tugged it over her head. "Thank you."

Hannah smiled. "Off you hop, now."

Tucking a few flyaways beneath the brim, Dani started towards the kitchens. As she rounded the corner, she nearly ran flat out into Jackie Pullman. The two of them repelled from each other like a pair of magnets. Jackie barely spared her a glance and a murmured, "Danielle," before she was striding briskly towards one of the campfires. Dani frowned after her in puzzlement. Then, shaking her head, she continued on, pulling open the creaking back door to the kitchens.

She was greeted with the sound of clanging pots and pans, cupboards being rapidly opened and shut. Slowly, Dani let the door close behind her. She stared at Jamie's back as Jamie, shoulders tense, slammed a lid down on a pot larger than her torso.

"Fucking hell, Jackie, give it up. I told you: I won't -" Jamie turned around and froze in place. "Oh. It's you."

Lifting her hand in a small wave, Dani said, "Hi. You - uh - looking for something?"

Jamie cleared her throat. "Yeah. A key. For -" She pointed towards a set of stainless steel doors that were locked with a chain and led to a walk-in refrigerator that could have fit a small slaughterhouse. "Some moron thought it was a great idea to put all the chocolate in there so it wouldn't melt, but failed to put the key back on its ring."

There were a series of hooks on the wall near the door, from which all manner of keys dangled. "Have you tried all of these?" Dani asked.

"Yup," said Jamie. She crouched down, returning to her search by way of opening a set of cupboards beneath a workstation. "None of them work."

"Okay," Dani murmured thoughtfully. Hands on her hips, she glanced around and began to join the search. She was patting down the top of a high shelf by the door, stretching up on her toes to reach, when she asked, "What did Jackie want?"

Behind her she could hear Jamie slam the cupboards shut. "Who cares?"

"Is she still bothering you?" Dani asked incredulously. "It's been years. I'm surprised she even remembers your name."

For some reason that was funny for Jamie let loose a bark of laughter. "No. She's not bothering me. Just wanting to buy my silence."

Brow furrowing, Dani's hand curled around something small and metallic. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Let's just say I know some unflattering things from our high school days, and leave it at that."

"So much for there being no secrets in this town," Dani said. She sank back down to her heels. "I found the key, by the way."

Jamie whirled around. "What? Bullshit. Already?"

Dani held up the key as proof.

"Fuck's sake," Jamie grumbled. "I've been looking for ages, and of course you just waltz in and stumble across it. Where was it?"

Dani gestured towards the high shelf nearest the exit. "I figured maybe someone tall might have left it somewhere on their way out. And, well, that seemed like the logical place."

"How?" Jamie asked, looking flabbergasted. "How is that logical?"

Dani shrugged. "I've lived with tall guys for a long time, I guess."

Slowly Jamie deflated. She raked a hand through her hair, taking off her bandana as she went and stuffing it into her pocket. "Aye. Fair enough. Let's get this thing open, then. Shall we?"

A few steps. A turn of the key in the lock. The chain fell away like a serpent wrapped around the barred handles, and Dani pulled the doors open. They were greeted with a wall of cool air. Among the stockpiles of food for the weekend were stacks of chocolate bars in their tell-tale brown wrapping. Dani grabbed as much as she could, piling up with chocolate and bags of marshmallows until they were perched precariously in her arms.

"All right," she said, starting towards the exit. "If you grab the boxes of graham crackers, can you get the doors for me?"

"On it."

True to her word, Jamie did exactly that. This time when they left, Jamie put the refrigerator key back on its proper hook, pointed at it sternly as though it might go running off, then grabbed the door with her free hand. Dani walked through, peering carefully around the items in her arms so that she didn't trip. And though there was nothing in her path, she felt something tug hard at one ankle and she stopped before she could trip.

"What -?" She tried to get a decent look at her feet, but couldn't see properly.

"Untied shoelace," Jamie said, coming up alongside her. "Here. I'll get it."

"It's fine. You don't have to -"

But Jamie was already setting down her haul of graham crackers. When Jamie knelt at her feet, Dani went rigid, her spine stiff and straight. Eyes wide, she looked down. From this angle she could just make out the bob of Jamie's head as Jamie tied her shoe. Dani held her breath and tried not to imagine threading her fingers through dark curls as Jamie glanced up at her with a crooked smirk and a dangerous glint in her gaze.

"All done." Jamie gathered everything off the ground and rose to her feet. "That should tide you over."

"Mmm," Dani hummed and gave a wordless nod. She looked anywhere but at Jamie, shifting her grip upon the items in her arms. "The - The kids are probably going nuts without this stuff. Did they even have time for dinner?"

"Late lunch seemed to tide them over. They'll have a big breakfast tomorrow as well, I imagine."

They walked and soon they were distributing various items out to all the groups, each campfire sequestered off like chambers of an organ. The sky still held a tell-tale hint of dusk, but it was swiftly fading upon the horizon. Soon only fire pits and handheld flashlights and a crescent moon parted the gloom.

Jamie joined her in monitoring a group of kids around one of the fires. She kept them amused while Dani spent her time quelling mischief and keeping an eight year old from singing his jeans in the fire when he knelt down to try and rescue a marshmallow lost to the embers. Hannah watched this with an air of quiet amusement, seated on a log beside Jamie, slowly roasting a marshmallow a golden hue.

"Did you know," one of the camp counselors said in a hushed voice, "that these very grounds are haunted?"

That caused an immediate hush to fall and a group of breathlessly curious young faces turned to look at him.

"Ghosts aren't real," said one girl.

The counselor chuckled darkly. "Is that so? Then you won't mind if I tell you all the story?"

It was, by and large, a silly story. Dani found herself rolling her eyes more than once as he hammed it up for the children, making them gasp and recoil and even laugh. By the end he was feeding them some nonsense about how this was a cautionary tale and to always keep one eye open at night. Dani and Hannah clapped politely when he had finished, and he stood to give a theatrical bow, ignoring the bits of marshmallow thrown at him by the kids with their chorus of giggles.

"Another!" one of the kids yelled.

"Yeah! Another!"

"All right. That's enough, now," Hannah admonished calmly. "Let the man enjoy his s'mores as well."

"I have a story."

The words were quiet, but everyone stopped to listen, turning towards Jamie, who had remained removed from the general kerfuffle at Hannah's side.

"Only," she continued, her voice soft and grave. "It's not my story. And it's quite long."

A questioning look towards Hannah, who shrugged and made an expansive gesture for Jamie to take the stage. Jamie stayed put. She idly rubbed a stick between her palms, something she had picked up off the floor earlier and had been using as a skewer. Elbows on her knees, her face was illuminated by the flickering glow of the fire, her eyes bright and dark all at once in the night.

Dani sat on an adjacent log, utterly entranced by the movement of light across Jamie's face. And she was not the only one, it seemed. All eyes were upon Jamie as she spun up her tale. Her accent was as brisk as the crackle and pop of the flames, branches of blackened wood slipping against one another and slumping in a cascade of sparks at just the right moment. There was no laughter in Jamie's ghost story. Only a breathless anticipation for the end. Until, at last, it was time for the students to go to bed.

"Isn't she going to finish it?" one of them asked. None of the kids had moved from their spots. They hung off Jamie's every word, wide-eyed.

Jamie winked. "Maybe tomorrow, if you're very good, I'll tell you more."

Another piped up, "But what's the ending? Can you just skip the scary stuff and give us the ending?"

Jamie leaned back, casting the stick into the fire. "Can't. There isn't one. She's still beneath those waters, you see. And every night, she wakes. She walks. She sleeps."

A profound silence followed this statement, broken only by the dying crackle of the fire and the footsteps of the other groups of kids making their way towards their cabins.

"Let's get you all to bed," Dani interrupted. She stood and clapped her hands together, making her voice as cheery as possible, "Let's go, everyone! Follow your counselor! Don't wander off!"

"You're going to give them nightmares," Hannah chided under her breath as the kids all grumbled and went off into the night.

"Ah, they'll be fine," Jamie said. "You give them too little credit."

"Miss Clayton. Weigh in. Too scary? Or not?"

Blinking, Dani turned to find them both watching her over the fire. Their figures were blurred slightly through smoke and spark and heat haze. "Well," she said. "I think kids are more resilient than we sometimes expect."

Jamie looked at Hannah and pointed triumphantly in Dani's direction.

"But -" Dani continued sternly. "I also think some of them aren't going to want to swim in the lake tomorrow after hearing that story."

With a sigh, Jamie dug around in one of the deep pockets of her flannel. "Fine. I concede. Will this get you two off my back?"

When she produced a hip flask that glinted in the light, Hannah gave a scoff of laughter. "It's a start. Hand it over, Miss Taylor."

Jamie made a face. "Please. Just Jamie."

"I'll consider it," Hannah held out her hand. "If you help Miss Clayton and I clean up before going to bed."

Jamie passed over the flask with a grin. "Didn't realize that wasn't an option." Then she glanced towards Dani, who was still standing, and patted the space on the log beside her.

Dani hesitated a moment. She wrapped her hands around her middle as she circled the fire to take a seat at Jamie's side, careful to keep a hand's distance between them. Jamie gave her an odd look for her discretion, but did not mention it. Just a crinkle in her brow that was gone as swiftly as it had arrived.

When the flask made the rounds and ended up in Dani's hand, she tipped her head back for a swig. The alcohol burned all the way down. "Jesus, what is this?" she mumbled, lifting the flask to her nose for a quick sniff. "Aftershave?"

"Rye whiskey," Jamie answered.

Dani crinkled her nose.

Jamie laughed and knocked their shoulders together, then held out her hand to make a grab for the flask. "Well, if you don't want it -"

"I didn't say that." Dani took another heady swallow before passing it back.

"Feels like I'm sixteen again and sneaking booze into school," Jamie said, shaking her head with a chuckle.

"Sanctioned booze this time," Hannah replied.

Jamie raised the flask in her direction. "Cheers."

There was conversation and there was the snap of the fire and the exchange of the flask until it was drained dry. And then there was the clean up, their good nights, and Dani and Jamie stumbling their way through the dark towards their tent. The alcohol was a warm pool in Dani's stomach that flushed out all the way to her fingertips. Not enough to stagger or slur — not nearly enough — but enough to make her hyper aware of her surroundings. It was a crawling buzz beneath her skin. She focused on the uneven ground beneath her shoes instead of on the woman walking along beside her.

"Wish we'd gotten a torch," Jamie grumbled when their shoulders bumped together accidentally and Dani leapt apart as though scalded. "Fuck, but it's dark out."

"I'll grab one for us tomorrow."

They kept their voices down as they wove their way through the miasma of pitched tents. Most of the others had gone to sleep long before them. And only God knew when Hannah would finally allow herself to rest. Last they'd seen of her, she had been checking in with a few staff members in the kitchen to ensure the rest of the weekend went as smoothly.

"Do you remember what it looks like?" Dani asked. They had paused yet again in front of a tent, squinting through the night air to determine if this one belonged to them.

"Think it was red?" Jamie supplied helpfully. "Or maybe green?"

"Those are literally opposite colors."

"Well, it's not my bloody tent. How am I supposed to know?"

"Would you two keep it down out there?" a voice from inside the tent they were hovering outside of grumbled.

Both Dani and Jamie grimaced at one another in shared embarrassment. "Sorry!" Dani said as they scurried along to the next tent.

Jamie bit back a laugh, her eyes glittering through the dark. Dani elbowed her lightly in the ribs and whispered, "Stop that. You're going to make me laugh."

"Fuck. I think that was Jackie."

"Shh!"

"What? You don't want to mess with her? Not even a little?"

"Oh, my god. Just go. Go go!"

In the end their eyes adjusted and the tent was blue.

"I'm blind," Jamie said, hopping up and down as she tugged at one of her boots. "Blind as a bat. I'm going to need glasses like Nan. This is a disaster."

Dani fumbled with the front panel of the tent, trying to find the zipper. She already stood on her own removed shoes in a futile attempt to keep her socks clean. When she found it and tugged, the zipper made a noise like ripping canvas that in the dead quiet of the camp grounds might as well have been a growl of thunder.

"Shh," Jamie shushed her, laughing softly.

"I'm trying!" Dani hissed, but going slower only seemed to make it worse.

The moment the flap was open enough, they tumbled inside and Dani pulled the zipper back in place as quickly as possible. Like pulling off a band-aid. Crouched over, Dani took another step and immediately bumped into Jamie. In here there was no space to get away, nowhere to put distance between them, and Dani's attempts to shrink back were met with her elbow bulging out the side of the tent until she was forced to retreat towards the center once more.

"Hold on a minute," Jamie mumbled.

When she dropped to her hands and knees, Dani had to grit her teeth and remind herself to breathe. Jamie was patting around the ground by Dani's feet. One of her arms brushed against Dani's bare calf and Dani could make out the bowed shape of her, the silhouette of her clothes and the warmth of her shadow.

"Found it." There was a click, and a column of light pierced through the dark, illuminating the bottom of Jamie's face. "It's not much, but we can at least get into pajamas without tripping over each other."

Mouth dry, Dani nodded. "Right."

Jamie didn't bother standing upright. Instead, she scooted towards her bag and began looting around through it for clothes. As she discarded her flannel and began pulling her shirt over her head, Dani turned abruptly around.

Just two nights, Dani told herself. Just two. She could do this. She could -

She really shouldn't have allowed herself to indulge in even a few swigs of whiskey. It led far too easily to other indulgences. Thoughts of warm skin and warm smiles to ward off the cold of the star-riddled night. Shaking her head, Dani began unbuttoning her own shirt.

Jamie was already fussing with the angle of her pillow just so when Dani slipped into her own sleeping bag. She waited until Dani had settled in then flicked off the flashlight, plunging them into darkness once more. Flat on her back, Dani lifted the edge of the sleeping bag to her chin and stared up at the arched canvas ceiling.

"Nice nightgown, granny."

Dani tensed at the sound of Jamie's voice, soft and so close through the darkness. When the teasing words finally registered, she exhaled a laugh. She rolled onto her side, only to find Jamie already facing her. 

“It’s comfortable,” Dani insisted.

“Looks cold.”

“I can pull on a sweater over it, if I need to.”

“What if you have to jump up in the middle of the night and all you’re wearing is a skimpy dress?”

“It goes down almost to my ankles, Jamie. And why would I go running around in the night?”

“I dunno. Kids are mental.” 

Jamie’s grin glinted through the shadows. Dani swatted at the nearby edge of Jamie’s sleeping bag and said pointedly, “Good night.”

As she rolled onto her back once more, she could hear Jamie chuckling and shifting around. There followed a soft reply, “Night,” and Jamie was silent.

Dani shut her eyes. She tried not to focus on noises in the dark, but the uncertainty of a new place did not lend itself to sleep. She was far-flung. The longer she lay there, the more it felt that the bands of metal keeping their tent upright were a set of ribs and the wind shuddered the canvas around them. 

By the next morning she’d gotten not a whit of shut-eye. There were gaps in the night, gaps in which she surely must have slept but which she remembered nothing of. There was only the lingering tension of straining for Jamie’s every errant movement, the sound of her breathing, the rustle of her sleeping bag. Knowing she was close enough to touch, but far enough that Dani could not reach out. Knowing that as children they would have zipped their two sleeping bags together and talked in hushed whispers through the night, chased the coming dawn with muffled laughter.

Except now Dani was furtively pulling on a fresh set of clothes before Jamie could wake up and look at her, and dawn was a saffron colored suggestion peeking through a pinhole gap in the tent’s zipper. She didn’t need a mirror to know that there would be dark circles beneath her eyes and that the hair pulled into a braid over one shoulder was a mess. 

Jamie began to shift awake, her ribs expanding and shrinking under her t-shirt in a deep breath. “Morning,” Dani murmured as Jamie rolled onto her back and rubbed at her face. 

“Morning,” Jamie grunted in her hand, her voice rough from sleep, her hair a disheveled mess. 

When she removed her hand, stretching out against the sleeping mat, she blinked up at Dani with a slow lethargic smile that made Dani pause. “Reckon this place has proper tea and a kettle lying around somewhere?” Jamie asked. 

Smothering down the urge to bolt from this display of a half-awake Jamie, unguarded and unkempt in a way that was far too familiar and intimate, Dani said, “You didn’t think to bring your own?”

Jamie groaned, “Fuck,” and turned to bury her head back into her sleeping bag. 

Chuckling lightly, Dani took her morning dose of her inhaler and stuffed it back into her bag. She slipped out of the tent, valiantly pretending she wasn’t running away from the confined space that felt as though it was getting smaller by the second in the encroaching daylight where she could see clearly just how close Jamie lay next to her. She zipped the tent back up and departed towards the mess hall that even so early in the day was occupied by a few camp staff and teachers and parents looking for breakfast to fuel their morning. Dani helped herself to a pre-wrapped sandwich and coffee that may as well have been tar, but didn’t stop Dani from two helpings of it. Anything to get her through the day. 

By the time she was walking back towards the tent, she carried with her another sandwich and a cup of tea that she had indeed procured from a fold out table that held a basket of teabags and an electric kettle. When the blue tent came in sight, Jamie was pushing out of the entrance in jeans ripped open at the knees and a t-shirt and flannel, shoving her feet into heavy outdoor boots.

When Jamie spotted her, her expression brightened into a grin. “Is that what I think it is?” she said, grabbing for the plastic cup of tea. “Oh, you’re a star.”

“Don’t get too excited,” Dani said, wincing lightly. “If the coffee was any indication, then I’m pretty sure this is barely up to even my standards.”

Jamie made a face of distaste, but still braved a small sip. Her expression gave nothing away for a long moment until she met Dani’s eyes with a piercing, dry stare. 

“It wasn’t me this time, I swear,” Dani said.

“Are you trying to kill me?”

“I did warn you it was bad.”

Jamie chuckled and nodded concedingly. “You did. Nothing quite like being poisoned first thing in the morning,” she said, and pressed the cup back into Dani’s hand, “Now, please. Chuck it down the sink where it belongs.”

When Dani handed Jamie her sandwich however, the corner of Jamie’s mouth quirked into a crooked grin as her eyes flitted over Dani’s face. “Y’know,” she started, and pulled out a familiar white bottle from her back pocket, “A little birdie told me that you forgot to put on sunscreen yesterday.”

Feeling her cheeks warm, Dani took the bottle of sunscreen that was handed to her. “I was managing just fine,” she said.

Jamie snorted. “So you’re turning into a tomato for absolutely no reason in particular then?”

In response, Dani glared as Jamie began opening her sandwich wrapping with a look of innocent curiosity. “I was going to put aloe vera on it tonight,” Dani muttered, handing the cup of tea back to pop open the bottle. Jamie just nodded indulgently as she ate. 

Rolling her eyes, Dani began smoothing sunscreen across her exposed skin, warm under Jamie’s amused stare, the smell of sunscreen sharp and familiar. When she was done, her skin feeling far more greasy than it had before, she gestured weakly to Jamie with the bottle, trying not to stare at the smooth skin of Jamie’s neck. “Did you -?”

Jamie hummed and nodded. “Just before you got back,” she said, and then twirled a finger, “Spin around. Let’s see if you managed to get all of you covered before you wither away before the day’s over.”

Huffing and giving Jamie a look, Dani obediently turned around, pulling her braid over her shoulder. She heard Jamie hiss softly behind her in sympathy. “Does it look bad?” Dani asked. 

“Not terribly,” Jamie said unconvincingly, “Got your bases covered, though it does look a bit painful.”

It did feel tender and hot to the touch when Dani had smoothed a hand over the back of her neck and exposed sections of her shoulders, but not so much as to be exceedingly distracting or painful. Before Dani could even say as much, she felt a soft cool breeze being blown against her heated neck, fluttering fair wisps of her hair and spreading goosebumps along her skin. Dani sucked in a low breath and froze, her spine stiff. 

“Better?” Jamie said. 

Swallowing hard, Dani nodded, managing to choke out, “Yeah.”

“Good,” Jamie said, and without warning, she tapped her hand hard on the sensitive skin of her neck.

With a yelp, Dani jerked around to glare witheringly at Jamie, brandishing the bottle of sunscreen like a weapon. Jamie laughed and bounced away, biting into her sandwich with a bright glint in her eyes as she started towards the mess hall at a brisk pace, no doubt reading the threat of retribution in Dani’s expression. 

With a roll of her eyes, the camp slowly coming to life around her, Dani delved back into the tent to toss aside the sunscreen bottle and to retrieve the straw hat she had forgotten in her haste. Retribution would have to wait, knowing she had a full day ahead of herding dozens of kids through activities she was less than fully equipped to handle. Not like Jamie, who managed to surge in popularity over the course of the night since her story. When Dani found her again later, she had been assigned duty along with Dani to accompany two groups through a morning scavenger hunt, and kids were already arguing on who got to be on Jamie’s team. 

When their eyes met over the cluster of kids heatedly debating around them, Jamie gave Dani a look of exasperation. Dani stepped next to her and said with a small smirk, “Should I be jealous?”

“Don’t see what the fuss is about,” Jamie muttered, somewhat nonplussed, “Was just a scary story.”

“They like you,” Dani said, “Kids have always liked you.”

Jamie gave her a look. “You sure that sunburn didn’t mess with your head a bit?” she said, “The hat is cute and all, but I think the damage is already done.”

Dani rolled her eyes at the teasing curl of Jamie’s grin, but before she could respond, Jamie turned towards the kids and barked, “All right, you lot listen up or I take away your s’mores privileges.”

“You can’t do that,” said one boy, “You’re not even a teacher.”

Jamie arched an eyebrow. “Try me and see what happens,” she said, looking and sounding so much like Nan that Dani had to fold her arms and duck her head to hide her smile. 

The kids began to settle down and listen as Jamie directed their attention back to the grateful pair of camp counselors to split them into proper teams. When Dani nudged her in the arm with a smug grin, Jamie huffed but couldn’t hide her faint smile. 

Even before they could start, Dani knew just by looking down at the list in her hand that her team didn’t really stand a chance in winning the race. Not with Jamie’s love of nature, and certainly not with her impish and competitive goading to turn the scavenger hunt into a race in the first place. Dani put on an encouraging smile, even as Jamie and the gaggle of students behind her raced off into the woods.  

It was helpful to have something to focus on. To keep a watchful eye and prevent the kids from climbing dangerous logs or running too far off in between searching for a certain kind of mushroom and butterfly, and not on the way Jamie’s hair flew behind her as she sped by, looking as wild and boisterous as Dani fondly remembered her to be when they were children. Dani’s team might have eventually lost the scavenger hunt race, but Dani couldn’t complain. Not when it kept her busy from staring at the way the sun dappled across Jamie’s hair and skin through the rustling trees.

The day wore on. Accompanying a group back to the lake to take advantage of the unseasonably warm afternoon sun, Jamie had made herself scarce from the jaunt, claiming to have promised Hannah in assisting with an obstacle race. Dani had shot her a knowing look, but Jamie gave a salute with two fingers before hustling away with a smirk and shrug, leaving Dani to her fate where indeed a handful of kids only went so far as to dip their toes in the water, jostling each other with the teasing intent of pushing each other in. 

Dani bit back a sigh and called out, “Abigail, what did we discuss about pushing?”

The distance from Jamie made it easier to breathe. Easier to convince herself that she could do this, she could manage for just one more night. Easier to believe she wasn’t clawing herself inside out every time Jamie so much as looked her way, memories of soft breaths and warm skin just inches from her own. By evening, she was helping to escort the kids back to the mess hall for dinner when she came across Jamie and Hannah standing on the sidelines of an obstacle course that was being slowly vacated. 

Hannah was the first to spot her as she made her way over, letting the counselors escort the kids the rest of the way. Following Hannah’s eyeline, Jamie turned and caught her eyes, her expression brightening. 

Hannah smiled and said, “There you are. We were beginning to wonder where you were.”

“Kids didn’t want to leave the water.”

“So, no sightings of mysterious ladies in the lake, then?” Jamie asked, a teasing glint in her eyes. 

Dani gave her another look. “Not this time,” she said dryly, “What about you two?  How’d the kids do?”

“No missing limbs or cracked skulls to speak of,” Hannah said, and shrugged, “All and all, I’d say a success for the books. Though that’s more than I can say for this one, however.” 

Appearing far too amused, Hannah gestured towards Jamie who grumbled under her breath and folded her arms. Dani looked her up and down. She appeared more disheveled than usual, having stripped off her flannel to tie around her waist, leaving her in just a dirt stained white t-shirt. Strands of hair dangled out of her hastily tied bun, grass stains ran up her jeans, and her exposed arms were streaked with dirt. Dani lingered on the lines of lean muscle of her folded arms a second too long before she had to blink away when Jamie spoke.

“It was the boots, all right?” Jamie grumbled, “Not meant for climbing rope walls are they.”

Dani laughed. “Wasn’t there some racing courses? You would’ve crushed that,” she said, and turned to Hannah to say with a proud grin, “Jamie’s an insanely good runner.”

Jamie snorted and said, “Tell that to my knees.”

Hannah tisked and tapped Jamie in the arm with a pen, “Why didn’t you say so? It’s not uncommon for parent volunteers and teachers to participate in one race or another,” she said, and blithely added, “I wouldn’t have minded seeing Mr. Shields taken down a peg or two after a three year win streak.”

“M’afraid those days a far behind me,” Jamie said with a huff of laughter, a pink flush to her cheeks. “Wasn’t terribly good at it, to be honest.”

Giving Jamie a long look of mild exasperation, Dani said, “You held the record for the fastest four hundred meter sprint for almost five years at school.”

“Figures. Not a lick of talent in that town, I swear.”

“No, you took it all with you,” Dani said with a fond grin, and froze when Jamie blinked at her. Swallowing thickly, crossing her arms tight, Dani turned to Hannah who didn’t seem to catch on to the far too familiar comment, and asked, “Anything else lined up for the rest of the day?”

There was a hike after sunset. A long trek through the dark shadows of the woods in a venture to appreciate the night wildlife. Hannah had begged off, having had enough excitement for the day and far too busy making sure things were set for the night. But after dinner was had, Jamie bounded up next to Dani with a flashlight and such an eager infectious smile, that Dani felt her hands twitch in an urge to link their fingers. She smothered it down with a smile, grateful for the company and dreading Jamie’s close proximity all at once. 

It was almost peaceful, following the long line of kids on the thin path through the trees, counsellors with flashlights leading the way. In between murmured conversations with Jamie along the trek, her breath catching in her chest every time their hands and shoulders would brush when they leaned close to murmur to each other, as though unwilling to disturb the stillness around them, Dani kept a firm grip on her sanity by keeping most of her attention on the kids. There was a boy in particular who began to stray further behind, breathing heavier by the minute in a way that was all too familiar. Leaving Jamie’s side with an apologetic grin over her shoulder, Dani attended to him and made a mental note to talk to his parents. 

When they reached the end of the hike, they passed through a treeline to find they had hiked all the way around to the opposite side of the lake. The water rippled under a slight breeze, the scarce moonlight dancing through clouds and across the waves in shimmering striations. The group rested near the shoreline where a counsellor was drawing their attention to the visible stars and reciting the mythical tales of the constellations to the tired, but enraptured group. 

Dani sat on a rock, feeling out of breath in more ways than one when Jamie budged up next to her, close enough that their thighs and shoulders pressed together. When Jamie leaned even closer, Dani went still as Jamie murmured, “Did you know there are certain kinds of flowers that only bloom at night?”

Turning her head just enough to catch Jamie’s eyes, she instead found Jamie looking up at the small sliver of moon that was fast disappearing behind thick clouds. Dani stared at the lines of her profile, down to the soft curve of her mouth, feeling as though something in her chest was blooming in the dark of its own. Dani shook her head and murmured, “No. I didn’t.”

The trek back went by much of the same. Dani stumbled through the dark, an ache in her legs and feet, winded and unmoored at every graze of Jamie’s skin against her own beside her. She hardly realized they were back at camp until she was sitting by the bonfire, so focused on steadying her breathing and pumping heart. Jamie remained next to her, a persevering presence, her skin washed in the orange glow of the fire, her eyes alight as she spoke in a steady low tone of ghosts in mansion walls which lingered on in memory. 

Entranced within the beat and pauses of Jamie’s words, Dani almost didn’t feel it at first. The spatter of water on her head. The distant deep roll of thunder. Dani blinked and looked up towards the sky, seeing the roil of dark clouds and flash of lightning in the distance. 

Sitting adjacent to her, Hannah sighed and muttered under her breath, “This was not on the bloody itinerary.”

Dani laughed and stood, feeling the drizzle of rain on her skin. “All right, come on, guys,” she said to the kids as the rest of the camp around them jumped into action, “Time to head inside. Please find and follow your counsellor. And no running off!”

Still sitting before the fire flickering its last breath in the rain, Jamie sighed and said, “I suppose this doesn’t this mean we’ll be let off from cleaning up the grounds?”

“I’m afraid so,” Hannah said dryly, “Unless you want all the equipment and supplies to be washed away by morning.”

Jamie exhaled and shrugged with a good natured grin. “Well, lucky for you, I’ve suffered worse conditions,” she said and pushed to her feet where Dani stood with her arms folded, a pit of stone sinking to her stomach as she felt the rain seep into her clothes. Jamie nudged her in the arm and shot her a wink. “Come on then, Poppins. Dunno about you, but I don’t fancy turning into a pumpkin tonight.”

Dani chuckled breathlessly and nodded, setting to work. They made short work of it, packing away the remains of snacks and gear back in the kitchen and mess hall. Throwing away forgotten garbage and making sure there weren’t any stragglers looking to make a night of playing in the rain. When they made their goodbyes to Hannah and finally started towards their tent, the rain was coming down in sheets. Dani shivered as they walked, watching lightning streak across the sky and counted the seconds until thunder crashed and rolled. It was still far enough away to not cause too much of a worry, the camp caught right in the edges of it, but by the time they finally reached their tent, they were soaked to the bone. 

Just as Dani was pulling down the zipper in a rush to get inside, Jamie grabbed her arm, cursing under her breath. “Fuck, wait. Hold on, we’ll soak the sleeping bags,” she said, handing Dani the flashlight and pushed off her boots before tumbling inside, pushing the mud caked boots into a far corner. 

Dani aimed the flashlight inside the tent as Jamie shuffled around, rolling the sleeping bags up and pushing aside anything that might get wet until she was ushering Dani inside. “C’mon, get in before you melt,” she said. 

It was a struggle, pulling off her shoes while slipping inside at the same time. She crouched and nearly stumbled face down into Jamie’s side and the sleeping mat from the effort. They giggled breathlessly as Jamie helped pull the rest of her inside, her hands warm against her cold, wet skin. Out of breath and shivering, Jamie zipped closed the tent, a hiss of metal teeth sewing shut, until finally, they were shut away from the rest of the world. 

They breathed in the relieved silence, the sound of rain a steady constant thud against the canvas roof of the tent. Jamie huffed out a breath of laughter and sank on her knees. “Fuck,” she said, “That’s one way to wash off a day’s worth of grime.”

Dani chuckled and nodded in the dark, just barely managing to see Jamie’s outline, the flashlight discarded in some corner in the haste to get inside. The realization was slowly coming to her, just as it had when the storm started, a prickle of dread creeping down her spine. A walking furnace no matter the weather, Dani could feel more than see Jamie sitting close to her in the cramped space, her body warmth mere inches away from Dani’s skin. She was all too aware suddenly of her clothes, wet and heavy and sticking to her skin, her hair slick and dripping with rainwater.

Jamie reached for the flashlight, a beam of light flashing across the tent until she was aiming it in a corner of the tent, reaching for something. “Hold on, I’ve got something better,” she said, and revealed a clunky rustic lantern. Dani blinked in surprise and shuffled to her knees, her clothes squelching unpleasantly with every movement. 

“Where did you get that?”

“I have my ways,” Jamie said, and in the dark, Dani could barely manage to make out the outline of her smirk. 

Watching as Jamie switched on the lamp, Dani sucked in a low breath as a warm glow filled the interior and she was finally granted the sight of a rain-soaked Jamie kneeling before her. Dark hair slick and plastered to her face and neck, dripping water down her skin. A t-shirt that might as well be translucent with the way it stuck to her, revealing the outline of a toned stomach in shadow and light. Eyes dark and glinting in the low light with faint amusement and something else Dani couldn’t decipher. A slow roll of heat pooled down Dani’s spine, her breath shallow. 

“Christ, you look a mess,” Jamie said, her voice loud in the tent below the sound of rain and distant thunder. 

“Speak for yourself,” Dani managed to say through clenched teeth. Jamie laughed and a shiver went down Dani’s spine. 

“C’mon, we’ll freeze if we stay like this,” Jamie said, digging into her rucksack and pulling out a towel. 

Blinking out of her stupor, Dani nodded breathlessly, following Jamie’s lead. She carefully undid her braid, wincing lightly at every painful tug and squeezed the water from her hair with a towel, eyes glazed and pointed firmly at a dark corner. “Remember all those times we got caught up in storms as a kid?” Dani said, feeling as though a haze was settling over her, “Like that summer you were obsessed with the idea of being a storm chaser?”

Jamie scoffed out a laugh. “Fuckin’ idiot,” she muttered, “Could’ve gotten us accidentally killed one day.”

“But we lived,” Dani said, and at Jamie's dismissive grunt, she added with a grin, “And we got sick.”

At Jamie’s groan, Dani managed to laugh, massaging the towel against the roots of her hair. “Christ, that’s right,” Jamie said, “and Nan grounded us both.”

“I didn’t even know she could do that.”

“Nan’s house, Nan’s rules.”

A fond, wistful grin grew on Dani’s face, but it froze on her face at the sound of wet fabric being shifted around. Slowly peeking out from behind her towel, Dani saw as Jamie pulled her wet flannel from around her waist to toss in the corner beside her boots. The movement inadvertently shifted up the hem of Jamie’s t-shirt, revealing plentiful inches of firm abs as Jamie shifted around. She froze, her mouth dropping open until Jamie’s hands reached for the hem to begin removing the shirt. Dani sucked in another low breath and twisted around, her heart pounding against her ribs. 

“Fuck, this is gonna be a nightmare,” Jamie said, laughing and grunting as she audibly shifted around behind Dani. 

Dani pressed her eyes shut. Beyond the despairing wish to be sucked into the ground, Dani desperately tried to settle her heart, to settle her breathing. Swallowing thickly, Dani tossed aside her towel and began the slow arduous process of removing her rain-soaked clothes. It was no more obvious than it was now, how cramped they were. Their bare elbows kept bumping into one another, and Jamie swore and laughed in equal measure. Dani’s foot kept pressing against the side of the tent as she shifted and struggled, pulling her shirt over her head, feeling goosebumps spread across her skin in the cool night air and the warmth of Jamie’s back so near her own. 

When their backs accidentally touched, a graze of damp skin that sent an electric shock down Dani’s spine, she jerked away and laughed in a nervous high pitched tone. “Sorry,” she said, trying furiously not to look over her shoulder. 

“No worries,” Jamie said, chuckling lightly in the midst of her grunting. 

With her nightgown finally donned, sufficiently breathless and dimly relieved to be wearing dry clothes again, Dani finally began unrolling back her sleeping bag to slip inside when another roll of thunder crashed above them. Dani eyed the canvas with faint concern, the onslaught of rain against the tent unrelenting. 

“You don’t think the tent will flood, do you?”

“Reckon it’s a possibility,” Jamie said to the sound of rustling fabric and audibly exhaled, going still behind Dani. “Worst comes to worst, we can always make a break for it to one of the cabins. Kids will just have to deal with us bargin’ in on them.”

Dani chuckled and biting her lower lip, chanced a glance over her shoulder to find Jamie stretched out on her unzipped sleeping bag, donning a grey sweater and dark sweatpants, grinning up at her. 

“You gonna be warm in that?” Jamie asked, nodding her head towards Dani.

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re shivering like a leaf.”

Heat spread across Dani’s cheeks, and she could only hope it wasn’t noticeable in the orange glow of the lantern light. 

“I’ve got an extra pair of trousers if you wanna borrow them,” Jamie offered. 

Dani gave her a curious look that bordered on teasing. “You packed an extra pair of sweatpants?”

“Dani, I live with a twelve year old boy. Of course I brought a spare,” Jamie said, and reached again into her rucksack, pulling out another pair of sweatpants and handed it to Dani. “In case we need to make a run for it and all.” 

Unable to help smiling fondly, Dani said, “I did say I have a sweater, you know.”

Jamie shrugged. “Then you’ll be extra warm then.”

Feeling another shiver run down her spine under Jamie’s gaze and from the cold night air seeping into her skin, Dani didn’t need much more persuading. She slipped on the sweatpants beneath her nightgown with the odd thrill of wearing Jamie’s clothes and shuffled inside her sleeping bag, pulling it up to her chin. Just like the night prior, Jamie waited until Dani was settled and comfortable before twisting a knob on the lantern, the warm glow inside the tent dimming until they were left in the darkness once again. 

It was quiet save for the rain and their soft breathing. It could almost be counted as peaceful if it weren't for the images of Jamie, dark-eyed and soaked to the bone as she knelt before her, lingering in the back of Dani’s mind. She shivered again and burrowed deeper into the sleeping bag. 

“Thank you for the pants,” Dani murmured. Beside her, Jamie snickered quietly with laughter, but didn’t say anything more. When Dani registered why a moment later, her cheeks burned hot. “You know what I meant.”

“You sure?” Jamie said, her voice both lethargic and far too amused for her own good, “Something you wanna share with the class?”

Dani huffed loudly and turned on her side to face the canvas wall. “Goodnight, Jamie,” Dani said. 

Jamie laughed softly, a low warm tone that she could almost feel directly against the back of her neck, sending a thrill down her spine. She pressed her eyes closed at the feeling, almost wishing to hear it again. 

“Night, Poppins,” Jamie murmured, and Dani’s ears strained to hear more. Hear the rustling of fabric as Jamie shifted, her soft breaths that gradually slowed and deepened. 

She was hyper aware of it. Every hitch of breath and whisper of skin against fabric. She sank further into her sleeping bag, her stiff spine relaxing to the sound on top of the white noise of rain, until the next time her eyes fluttered open the tent was lit with dim diffused light of early dawn and she was curled up facing Jamie. Dani blinked heavily, slowly, her eyes adjusting to the light as they fell upon Jamie’s sleeping form. She was on her stomach, facing away from Dani, her torso rising and falling with slow deep breaths. She had shed her sweater and pushed her sleeping bag down to her waist sometime in the middle of the night, leaving her in only a black tank top. 

Another lethargic blink. Her eyes drifted lazily across the exposed skin of Jamie’s shoulders, finding a beauty mark here and there, a smattering of freckles from hours spent in the sun, the flash of silver chain around her neck beneath strands of dark curls, until she eventually landed on the scar. Puckered skin draping across the back of Jamie’s right shoulder. Dani thought of stretching across the inches between them to press against the length of Jamie’s back, to run the pads of her fingers across the ruined skin before pressing her lips to it. 

Dani exhaled softly, shakily, and pressed her eyes shut again, her head feeling hazy and thick. Just a dream, she tried to convince herself, swallowing thickly. She breathed in and willed herself to wake up.

--

Some part of her thought this trip would last forever. The long days dwindling into longer nights. Even the bus ride back to the school campus felt endless, the road extending before them in a long line that seemed to narrow off the map and into the horizon. When they finally arrived back at campus and the children streamed from the bus, it was with an odd sense of detachment that Dani stepped onto the pavement and back onto familiar ground. Unreal town. Unreal streets. Sunlight arching its back against the shuttered windows and the lines of white picket fences.

Jamie had vanished from her side in search of Mikey, who had been avoiding them for the vast majority of the trip in favor of spending time with friends. Dani blinked as though waking from a dream when she heard Jamie calling her name and waving her over to the green truck parked on the street. Picking up her bags, Dani said her goodbyes to Hannah, received an absent wave in return — Hannah was busy directing the flow of events, clipboard in hand and an officious note to her voice — and made her way over.

"Figured you'd want a ride back to my place," Jamie said. She had already chucked her and Mikey's bags into the tray. "Unless Ed is picking you up here?"

Shaking her head, Dani tossed her bags into the back as well. "No. A ride would be great. Thanks."

Jamie patted the hood of the truck. "Hop in, then. Oi. You're in the middle, bawbag."

Mikey scowled at his sister but shuffled over into the center seat so Dani could sit beside him. Twin slamming of doors, and then Jamie was pushing in the clutch and rattling the gear stick back and forth to check for neutral. Mikey had to accommodate the gear stick between his knees, grumbling at Jamie when she knocked into him when the engine started and she shifted into first.

"Not my fault you're growing like a weed," Jamie countered as she pulled away from the curb. "Who's feeding you, anyway? Not me, certainly."

"Yeah, because your cooking sucks," said Mikey.

This time, Jamie purposefully hit his knee when she changed into third.

"Ow! You're doing that on purpose!"

"Prove it."

Dani smiled and shook her head as she listened to their familiar back and forth all the way to the opposite end of town. She gazed out the window at oft-traveled streets. Like being put back into a terrarium, she thought. Not a leaf out of place.

When they arrived, Mikey hopped out of the car after Jamie, shoving at her back to make her go faster so he could grab their bags and race into the house.

"Put the kettle on, while you're at it!" Jamie called after him. "Haven't had a proper cup in ages."

Dani stepped out of the car and shut the door behind her. "It's been less than three days."

"And I'm wasting away for lack." Jamie stepped onto one of the back wheels to fish out the rest of their things, either dropping her own bags onto the sidewalk or passing them to Dani. "Do you want to stay for lunch?"

Dani hugged one of her bags beneath one arm, while she grabbed her keys with her free hand. "I shouldn't," she said. "I think Eddie wanted to do something this afternoon."

"Fair enough." Jamie leapt down from the truck. "See you around, then."

Dani tried to make her smile seem natural, but nothing seemed to want to work properly when Jamie was watching her like that. As though she actually saw her, rather than gazed right through her at some imagined figure in the background. "Enjoy the rest of your weekend."

Their farewells were said too soon, for Dani slipped into the front seat of her own car and immediately found that it refused to start again. The engine ticked and ticked and never turned, and Dani was altogether too tired for this. She sighed, wishing something in her life could just go right for once.

"Sounds like a battery problem," Jamie mused from the sidewalk, arms crossed and brow thoughtfully furrowed. "Pop the bonnet."

It should have taken less time to jump start Dani's car, but Jamie kept pausing to explain everything she was doing and why. "You need to ground this one," she said, holding up one of the clamp things which must've had a name but which Dani couldn't remember for the life of her.

"Right," said Dani, not knowing at all what that entailed.

"Just stick it on some other bit of metal on the car. Like this. See?"

Dani nodded. "Okay."

"Now, you do it."

Eddie never would've explained it like this. He might if she asked, but all too clearly she could remember being scoffed at by him and the mechanic for not knowing some basic piece of knowledge or another. The two had engaged in some shop talk and proceeded to ignore her entirely for the remainder of the visit. She never asked anything about cars again after that.

"Great," said Jamie. "Now, go sit inside and turn the key when you hear me rev my engine."

Within moments the sound of the truck's engine whirring in neutral filled the air, interspersed with the coughing of Dani's car trying to wheeze its way to life once more. She murmured encouraging nonsense at the steering wheel and held the key firmly turned until at last it started. Through the glass she could see Jamie clapping one hand against the dash of her truck before turning it off and jumping out to put all the cables away.

"Feel like I'm Dr. Frankenstein," Jamie laughed as she wound red and black cabling around one elbow into a neat curl that she looped around her shoulder. She grinned and shut the hood of Dani's car with a clang. "This old girl really is giving up the ghost."

"Thank you," Dani said, sticking her head partially out the wound-down window. Jamie just waved her off without another word, already wandering back to her truck so she could put away the cables for safe use at some point in the future.

It was like driving a carcass through the streets, Dani thought as she pulled away from the curb. Like dragging a body through the dust around a city, unwilling or unable to cut it loose for fear of what letting it go might mean. With each passing day, holding onto the car just that little bit longer was an exercise in futility. Trying to assemble mismatched limbs into a whole that only pantomimed the real thing, and all the while the rope frayed.

Eddie's car wasn't in the driveway when Dani drove up and killed the engine. For a moment she simply gazed up at the house, hands gripping the steering wheel. Then, sucking in a deep breath, she stepped out. Bags in her arms. Car locked. Keys jangling from one hand. Turn of the key in the front door and she pushed, walking inside.

The house greeted her with absolute silence. The sound of her footsteps was too loud. They echoed across the floors polished to a mirror shine. If she looked down she could see a shadow of herself walking the halls like a specter. She kicked off her shoes and dropped her bags atop them, wandering to the ensuite bathroom and turning on the shower.

Breathing a sigh, relieved to be alone for even a few moments, Dani rested her hands upon the sink as though it were a lifeline, gripped it for a long moment. She pulled out her limp ponytail and watched her reflection rake a hand through her hair, steam creeping in around the edges of the mirror while the water slowly heated up until she was a silhouette through the mist. It was the first decent shower in days, water hot enough to scald her back as she just stood beneath the spray and allowed herself to breathe, reluctant to leave. It was only when the water had gone lukewarm that she shut off the tap and tugged back the curtain to reach for a towel.

A clean set of clothes. A quick application of the hairdryer and hairspray. A fresh coat of makeup like a mask to hide the sleepless circles beneath her eyes. A few minutes sitting on the edge of the bed, staring into space, absolutely still, listening to the house breathe around her. Rattle of the pipes. Creak of the lintels. 

The abrupt ringing of the phone made her start. Clearing her throat, hand flat on her chest to calm the thrum of her heart, Dani walked briskly into the other room to pick up the receiver and hold it to her ear.

“Hello?” 

“Oh, good. You’re home,” Eddie’s voice said. “Mom and I are going to come around in five to pick you up. She wants to go to that new cafe again.”

“It’s a nice cafe,” Dani said lamely.

“And I’m pretty sure she’s tried everything on the menu.”

In the background she could hear Judy scold him gently, saying that his claims were false.

“Most things, then,” Eddie said, sounding amused. “Okay. See you soon. Bye.”

Her mouth was forming the word ‘Bye’ in return when he hung up and she was left speaking to the dial tone. She tightened her grip upon the plastic receiver, then set it down upon its cradle once more. Dani’s eyes strayed to the bags she had abandoned by the front door. She picked them up and put her laundry into the washing machine, setting a new load and unpacking the remainder of the items. 

The garage was as cold as the rest of the house when she pushed open the door and stepped inside. The only room with no insulation, yet the house always held a chill, so that she would meander through it in sweaters and socks, tugging down the sleeves to cover her wrists and shivering when sitting still for too long. She had to go up on her toes to pull on a string that hung from the ceiling. The false panel creaked and groaned when she yanked it down, and a ladder unfolded, its legs clattering against the concrete floor to reveal a crawlspace hanging overhead that was darker than the night sky. 

She climbed the stairs, eyes adjusting to the dark to see the various shapes loom out at her. Preeminent among them the tent Eddie had mentioned before she’d left on Friday. Her mouth thinned in annoyance and she hauled up the bags to put them away. When she shoved them into place, something from the crawlspace fell to the ground below her. Dani paused, gripping the sides of the folding step ladder, and frowned down at the floor. It appeared to be a book. An old paperback. With a glance towards the crawlspace, she climbed back down the ladder and bent down to pick up the book. 

Upon turning it over in her hand, she blinked in surprise. A battered and familiar old cover, pages torn out and dog-eared, and a cover bearing the image of a scantily clad woman whose dress was at risk of falling down to her waist. God only knew how it had ended up among all of their things. A stowaway from another lifetime, masquerading itself as just another innocent paperback among so many other innocent paperbacks. 

Dani twisted it around to read the blurb at the back. She got about two sentences in before she rolled her eyes at the lurid prose. Complete drivel, just as she had remembered from the snippets read aloud to her over a decade ago. With a scoff, she tossed the book aside — she did not care to look where — and heard it thump gently atop one of the many empty boxes still piled up in the garage. Dani grabbed the legs of the ladder and folded them back into place, rising up on her toes to push it up so that it was just a piece of string hanging from the ceiling.

There was the blare of a horn just outside the house. Dani’s head jerked around in the direction of the sound. She heard it again and she hurried into the main house, putting on her shoes and stumbling out the door. She was halfway down the walkway leading to the sidewalk, where Eddie and Judy waited in Eddie’s car, when she remembered her purse and had to turn back around for it. When she walked out of the house again, the horn honked as she was locking up, making her shoulders tense. 

"What took you so long?" Eddie asked when she yanked open the door and slid into the back seat directly behind him. He shot her a smile as he said it, but she still had to shrug away a prickle of irritation.

"Left my purse behind."

He made a sound in the back of his throat indicating he'd heard, and waited for her to buckle her seatbelt before putting the car into gear and driving away.

Judy twisted around in her seat to look at Dani. "How was your trip?" she asked. "I saw in the paper that the weather took a turn for the worse up there. Hopefully it wasn't too bad."

Dani's stomach gave an unpleasant lurch at the memory. The brush of Jamie's damp skin against her own. The way her eyes had seemed gray as the storm, as though she'd brought a piece of it inside the tent. The crinkle at their edges as she had laughed. The cling of wet clothes and the sound they made when Jamie peeled them off.

Nothing had happened, she reassured herself. Nothing had even happened. Just the wild fantasy in her head where she was brave enough to reach out and touch her, brave enough to act, brave enough to speak.

Dani clutched her purse in her lap and smiled. "It wasn't that bad. And it was only on the last day, so it was fine."

Judy made pleasant work of their conversation, wanting to know every detail, every adventure, the kids who had behaved and those that hadn't. Dutiful to a fault, Dani answered in full, letting — as always — someone else steer the conversation as surely as Eddie steered the car into a parking spot just outside Owen's cafe.

It was almost normal. It should have been normal. Nothing about this scene had changed in nearly a decade. Chatting with Judy. Thanking Eddie when he opened the door for her and accepting a peck to the cheek for his trouble. Letting herself be steered into a seat inside, a menu propped into her hands, sandwiched on either side by a mother and son who might as well have been her own family even before any legal documents were signed. This time however, Dani kept having to swallow down an acrid taste in her mouth, the sort of fluttering anxious precursor to losing her breakfast into a porcelain bowl, as though she had sprinted around and around a track — red pavement pounding beneath her feet — until she panted for breath, until she felt sick. 

“What can I get for you today?”

Staring down at the menu, biting the edge of her thumb ragged, Dani dimly heard Owen’s voice. Judy and Eddie ordered, buying her more time to make a selection.

“And she’ll have the Caesar salad,” Eddie said, already handing both his menu and his mother’s over to Owen, who took them.

Owen glanced at Dani for silent confirmation, his eyebrows raised over the tops of his round spectacles. For a moment, she nearly picked something else, something random — it didn’t matter what choice so long as it was hers — but the urge was throttled away in her chest. She nodded, handed her menu over as well with a murmur of thanks. His moustache twitched in a tell-tale smile and he parted with an inclination of his head towards her.

The conversation had moved on since Dani had last kept track, the seconds slipping away like so many grains of sand while she struggled to be here and now instead of back in a dark tent listening to the sound of Jamie breathing. 

“We can do something in spring,” Eddie said. “You like flowers. We can make a whole floral theme around it.”

The wedding. Of course, they were talking about the wedding.

“Spring’s not good for me,” Dani said and she tapped lightly at her chest.

Eddie’s eyebrows rose over the rims of his spectacles. “Ah. Right. Stupid of me.” Then he snapped his fingers. “Summer? A June wedding.”

Dani grimaced. “Too muggy. You’re going to be in a three piece, remember?”

He hummed in agreement, then grinned. “Guess we could always do a shotgun wedding before Christmas.”

She tried to laugh the idea off, but he was leaning forward, clearly taken with the idea. Swallowing past the panic rising in her throat, Dani cast about for some rebuttal.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Judy said from the side, giving Eddie’s shoulder an admonishing pat. “These things take time, and you and Danielle deserve a proper wedding.”

Lifting his hands in surrender, Eddie settled back in his seat. “All right. All right. I get the picture. Autumn. When the leaves are changing color and everything’s, you know -” he said. “- Pretty.” 

Dani could feel the knot unclench somewhat in her stomach. She nodded and smiled as brightly as she knew how. “That sounds wonderful.”

Another year. Always another year. She wondered how long she could spin this out, carry this song and dance until they began to notice that something wasn’t quite right. That she wasn’t quite right. She couldn’t think of which was more terrifying: that they would finally see her for what she was, or that they never would.

Their food arrived. Dani straightened in her seat and murmured a grateful, “Thank you,” to Owen, who gave her a wink in return. She picked up her fork and knife.

“Do you have any plans for Saturday?” Judy asked as she cut into her open-faced sandwich. “I thought we might have a girl’s night.”

Dani paused, mid-chew. She finished her bite before replying, “Actually Carson invited me to see another one of his shows, so I thought I’d take Jamie.”

She snuck a surreptitious glance towards Eddie. He had already been informed of these plans, but still he lifted the glass to his mouth for a sip and pointedly did not meet Dani’s eye. 

“Oh, that’s great!” Judy said and she set down her cutlery with a clatter against the edge of her earthenware dish. “You two are going to have so much fun. I mean — I don’t personally ‘get’ Carson’s music, but it makes him happy. So -” she gave a lackadaisical wave of one hand as she reached for the salt. “- to each their own. Make sure to buy one of those t-shirts for me. He told me something about selling some at his last gig, and I want to hang one on the wall.”

“Mom,” Eddie said. “Really?”

“Be nice to your brother, Edmund,” Judy said in a warning tone, pointing her knife at him.

Smiling, Dani said, “I’ll bring something back. Don’t worry.”

--

“Coldest evening of the month, and you’re wearing a dress?” was how Jamie greeted Dani when she slipped inside Jamie’s blissfully warm truck. 

Dani rolled her eyes and pulled on her seatbelt. “Hi, Jamie, how was your day?” Dani said, “Mine was great, thanks for asking.”

“Grand, thanks,” Jamie replied with a cheeky grin under Dani’s glare, “Though, I’m a bit concerned you might freeze to death before we ever make it to Des Moines.”

“I’m a big girl, I think I can handle the cold.”

“In that?” Jamie said, arching an eyebrow, running her eyes over Dani’s dress. 

Dani froze, her breath caught in her chest under Jamie’s stare. The dress in question was nothing to write home about, a dark purple number that reached just below her knees and covered her arms and chest up to her neck with sheer fabric. It had been hung up in the back of her closet for what felt like years, never having the opportunity or need to wear it until tonight.  

“First with the nightgown, now this.” Jamie’s gaze flitted up to meet hers again and said with an admonishing grin, “You’ve gone mad.”

Dani shrugged, hands nervously smoothing over and picking at the fabric of her dress, “What? I just felt like dressing nice.” 

“Well, I can’t say you didn’t succeed,” Jamie said and before Dani could even process the words, she continued, “And, lucky for you — ” Jamie reached behind the seats into a storage compartment “ — you and the kid are a lot alike: always cold no matter the weather.” She pulled out a dark green woolen blanket and tossed it onto Dani’s lap with a fond grin. “If you need it.”

“Thanks,” Dani murmured, spreading the blanket out on her legs for reasons beyond just being cold. 

“Not at all,” Jamie said, cranking the heat higher and finally eased the truck back on the street. “Though at this rate, I’m seriously considering investing in some heat lamps for the both of you.”

Dani laughed, a breathy nervous thing that sounded thin even to her own ears, and sank further into the worn leather seat. A week away should have made things easier, should have alleviated the pounding of her heart and the goosebumps along her skin. But Dani was starting to see a pattern now. A few days without Jamie and she could convince herself it wasn’t real. She could shut down and lock away any lingering attraction. Then the moment Jamie was in her line of sight, the coiling heat at the base of her spine returned in full force.  

As they pulled onto the highway, Dani chanced a glance to her out of the corner of her eyes. Jamie looked no different from her normal day to day wear. Band t-shirt tucked into dark jeans rolled up at the hem above a pair of Docs. Brown suede jacket draped over her shoulders. It was nothing Dani hadn’t seen before, but her eyes lingered at a glimpse of bare skin at Jamie’s collar, silver chain snaking beneath her shirt. Dani swallowed heavily, and looked out the window with a slow exhale, shutting it all away. 

“So, you’ve been to this place before?” Jamie asked. 

Dani hummed affirmatively. “Twice,” she said. She paused, hesitating before adding, “Carson and I may have impulsively drove all the way up ourselves to see one of his favorite bands once.”

Taking her eyes off the road briefly to shoot her a smirk, Jamie said, “You tell anyone you were going?”

“No,” Dani replied with a sheepish grin. 

“What band inspired you to risk the wrath of Karen Clayton?”

Dani paused and admitted with a wince, “I don’t remember, actually.”

Jamie laughed. “I see they made a good impression.”

Shrugging, Dani chuckled. “It was worth it to see him so happy,” she murmured, recollecting the loneliness Carson failed to hide after being left behind as the only one left in high school, and again at the house after she and Eddie had gone off to university. Accompanying him with her own car to Des Moines was the least she could’ve done for him. “He lost his voice after singing along for the whole night, and slept most of the way home.”

“So what does his band sound like anyways?” Jamie asked, “I asked him if they had a demo tape, and he told me he wanted it to be a surprise. Should I be expecting to scream my voice hoarse too?”

“They sound like the kind of music you love, I guess.”

“Oh sure, that narrows it down loads.”

Huffing lightly, Dani muttered, “So high maintenance.” 

Smirking at Jamie’s scoff, Dani reached for the radio and switched it on. Ignoring Jamie’s grumbling under her breath, Dani turned the dial, flickering through stations until she landed on one she knew Jamie favored, the sounds of heavy drums and synth keyboards filling the cabin. 

“Something like this,” Dani said with a short gesture to the radio.

“Knew he wouldn’t let me down,” Jamie said, fingers tapping to the beat on the steering wheel. 

“He gets it from you.”

Jamie chuckled but didn’t respond. Without taking her eyes off the road, she turned the volume up, and her tapping on the wheel turned to light drumming. Dani watched her with a fond grin, taking in the line of her jaw and the curve of her mouth. Biting her lower lip, Dani turned to watch the evening sun streak golden light across corn fields and farm houses. Beneath the scent of the air freshener dangling from the rear view mirror, there was the ever present smell of corn. 

“Did you ever miss it?” Dani said, “The fields?”

“What? The smell of cowshit?” Jamie shrugged noncommittally. “Not much to miss really, besides hiding out in the corn and scaring the shite out of people when we were bored as fuck.” 

Dani laughed and Jamie smiled wide at her. “I think you scared Mr. Horne for life,” Dani said. 

“You were there, too. Don’t think I’ve forgotten the manic glee in your eyes when he ran screaming for the hills.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Sure,” Jamie drawled, “Must’ve imagined it then.”

“Yep.”

Jamie snorted. “Tit.”

As Dani giggled softly, they fell silent again, listening to the radio blare an eclectic noise of music Dani never had the opportunity to really listen to. She had never really taken to it, not the way Jamie and Carson had, but she didn’t hate it. Not the way Eddie did, always grinding his teeth and twisting his mouth. 

After a moment Dani said, “Thanks for coming with me, by the way.”

“‘Course,” Jamie said, “Carson’s been bugging me about it too, so y’know, your neck isn’t the only one on the line here.”

“Either way, I’ve been meaning to go for a long time, so - thanks.”

“Good ol’ Ed still too busy to come along, then?”

Dani shook her head, her chest pinching at Eddie’s staunch refusal again to accompany her when she’d asked earlier that week. Swallowing down a spark of belligerence, Dani said, “It’s not really his kind of scene.”

“Not really yours either, but here you are,” Jamie said, and though her voice was as calm as ever, the taut line of her mouth said otherwise. Then she offered Dani another smile, the tension gone. “How ‘bout we crank up the volume some more? Get ourselves amped up for Carson and the show, yeah? Unless you want to change it to something more of your liking.”

In response, Dani leaned forward to turn the dial up herself. Jamie laughed, and though Dani could barely hear it over the clamor of music, she was entranced at the crinkle of Jamie’s eyes and her wide smile. Her heart thudding hard against her ribs, Dani inhaled slowly and sank back into the leather bench, smiling as she watched Jamie enjoy herself. 

The drive to Des Moines wasn’t short. Just a little under two hours together in Jamie’s truck, the time filled with music, conversation, and snacking on Jamie’s stash of trail mix she kept around for Mikey. By the hour mark, they switched through various stations looking for music they both enjoyed. 

Dani had prepared for this. As much as one could after realizing she’d once again have to spend many hours alone confined in a small space with Jamie for the second time in a week. It was easier in the daylight at least, with music to keep them company. Unlike when they lay next to each other in a cramped tent, trying to sleep when all she could hear was every single soft breath Jamie took and the whisper of fabric against skin, feeling as though she was slowly going insane as the seconds ticked by. Here in the brightness of Jamie’s truck, ankle boots tapping to some Depeche Mode song, it was all she could do to just pretend. 

When they finally neared the city, the sun was nearly set. Dani eagerly leaned forward in her seat, watching it grow closer in the horizon with an anticipation she didn’t expect. It’d been a long while since she went anywhere exciting that wasn’t the local bar in North Liberty. Compared to pictures she’d seen of big cities like New York and Chicago, Des Moines was simple with its scant skyscrapers and many historical buildings. 

Beside her, Jamie breathed out a soft laugh. “You’d think we’re heading to Disney World.”

Dani felt her cheeks warm as she leaned back into her seat. “I just haven’t been in here in a long time, is all. Not really used to going anywhere exciting.”

“I see,” Jamie said, nodding with a considering frown, ”Who knew Des Moines was more exciting than Disney World.”

Rolling her eyes, Dani swatted at Jamie’s arm. “And what would you know?” Dani said with a teasing grin, “When was the last time you were here if you’re such an expert?”

Jamie paused and shot Dani a weak grin. “Not since - ” her voice trailed off, gesturing haphazardly towards the city as though it held all the answers she couldn’t say. “After,” she finished with a murmur.

Dani’s smile slowly fell. “Oh,” she murmured, her stomach sinking as she watched Jamie silently steer them closer to the city, her expression carefully blank.

They didn’t speak another word until Jamie broke the weighted silence and asked, “Now where’s this place again?”

The abrupt suppressive air in the cabin felt lighter again when they somehow missed the exit they were supposed to take according to Carson’s messy directions. Dani laughed at Jamie’s attempts to swipe the sheet of directions from Dani’s hands, grumbling good naturedly every time Dani slapped her hand away and pulled the sheet out of reach. When they finally exited out into the city, Dani guided them back in the direction they came from towards the East Village, passing over the Des Moines River until they could see the towering shadow of the Iowa State Capitol building in the distance.

The bar itself was situated on a block corner, two stories with red bricks, big front windows, and a sign in blocky letters that said ‘Slaughterhouse.’ There was a small closed off patio in the front where a few people were braving the chill weather, talking and laughing.

“Quite a name,” Jamie said after they had parked the truck and walked the block towards the venue, dryly adding, “Can’t imagine why they’d name it that in Iowa of all places.”

“Think we’ll find some pigs in there?”

“I’ve already had my fill of the swineherd, thanks.”

Dani chuckled, wrapping her arms loosely around her stomach to ward off a chill breeze. Jamie rushed forward to swing open the entrance with a smile and a wink. Even as Dani chuckled, she ducked her head and sped past Jamie. It was deceptively large inside, warm and already packed with concert revelers and people just enjoying an evening drink. The bar was jammed with people waiting for drinks, tables and booths filled with others eating or conversing, and a pool table off in one corner. Graffiti, art, and a plethora of black and white photos lined the walls, leaving no space untouched, accentuated under warm lights. 

Music played over the bustle until every noise seemed to blend together. Dani tensed and sucked in a soft breath when she felt Jamie press a hand to her back and lean close to speak in her ear, “Drinks first?”

Keeping her eyes forward, Dani nodded. 

Jamie gave her a curious look, “You all right?”

“Yeah,” Dani breathed, her skin under Jamie’s palm burning, “Just excited to be here.”

“Sure.”

Grinning, utterly oblivious, Jamie finally dropped her hand and started towards the bar. Dani exhaled slowly and followed behind, trying desperately to not let her eyes stray lower than the center of Jamie’s back. Jamie pushed her way to the front of the bar, ignoring the discontent in her wake with practised disaffected ease. 

“Want anything special?” Jamie asked.

“Just whatever’s on tap for now.”

A familiar voice behind them called out her name, “Dani!”

Dani turned and smiled wide at Carson making his way towards them. “Hey!”

He pulled her into a hug so tight that he nearly lifted her off her feet. She laughed, her arms around his shoulders squeezing tight to keep balance. 

When he let her go, he smirked at them, “Well, well, well. Look what the cat finally dragged in.”

“Yeah, yeah, we’re here. Happy now?” Jamie grumbled, though her expression was warm as she handed Dani a glass of beer. 

“Very,” Carson said, and looked very much like it. 

His eyes were bright under the low lights, no doubt already a drink or two in for the night. He wore his ever present studded leather jacket over a tight white undershirt tucked into form fitting jeans. Styled dark hair, a thick belt, and combat boots completed the look, but it was a small silver earring shaped in a cross dangling from his left ear that was new and intriguing. He all together looked like some heartthrob she’d find on the cover of a Tiger Beat magazine. 

She laughed, her hand on his shoulder. “Look at you,” she said, daring to sweep a hand over his quiffed hair with a teasing smile that he batted away with a scowl. “Girls must be all over you.”

Jamie coughed into her glass. 

“Um — “ Carson started, mid-laugh, his cheeks pink and not meeting Dani’s eyes “ — something like that.”

Jamie pressed a hand to her mouth to suppress her coughs and what also seemed to be laughter. Carson snorted beside Dani as she patted Jamie’s back gently, but Jamie waved her off, sucking in a deep breath and gulping down more beer. 

“All good,” Jamie said in a ragged breath. 

“Are you sure?” Dani asked, slowly removing her hand. 

“Positive,” Jamie said, and took another sip to prove her point, “See?”

Carson rolled his eyes. “Well, before you accidentally kill yourself, I want you to meet the rest of the band,” he said, nodding his head towards the other side of the bar, “C’mon.”

He led them through the room towards the pool table in the corner commandeered by four individuals dressed in an array of alternative and grunge fashion. Dani only vaguely recognized them. They were gathered around the felted table, slouching against the wall or hovering close, watching intently as another leaned low over the table, cue stick positioned to strike. 

“Look who I found!” Carson said, gesturing wide towards Dani and Jamie. 

“Busy!” said the one at play, dozens of small braids dangling over her shoulder. 

“Too busy for my guests of honor?”

The woman looked up just as the others finally came to attention, their heads swiveling towards Dani and Jamie at once. Dani smiled faintly, raising her hand in a small awkward wave. 

“Well, shit, Carson,” said another, “They’re real afterall.”

Introductions were short. They waved and nodded politely at Dani in recognition, but seemed to eye Jamie with keen interest as they shook her hand. 

“This is Troy, our lead singer and guitarist,” Carson said, waving towards a man with shoulder length hair, and then towards the woman with braids who now stood next to a man with flat top hair, “The siblings, Lawrence and Charlene. They play guitar and keyboards. And this is — “

“Robin,” said a tall woman with long feathered black hair and dark eyes. She held out a hand to Jamie, eyes darting up and down Jamie, “But you can call me Bobby.”

If Jamie noticed the wandering eyes, she never showed it. She merely chuckled and shook Robin’s hand. “Sure.”

Troy, who stood nearest Dani, muttered into his beer, “Here we go.”

Dani blinked, but then Robin turned towards her with a friendly smile, and said, “Nice to meet you again, Dani.”

“You too,” Dani managed to politely reply, oddly feeling that the suggested nickname towards Jamie didn’t extend towards her. 

They gathered around a large table afterwards, where Dani found herself situated between Jamie and Troy as drinks and appetizers were ordered from a passing waitress. 

“So, Jamie,” started Robin, leaning forward on her elbows across from Dani and Jamie, “Carson talks about you all the time, but we were starting to think you didn’t exist.”

“That right?” Jamie said, lounging back comfortably in her seat, giving Carson a look. 

He shrugged sheepishly. “What?”

Jamie grinned fondly. “Sap.”

The others started ribbing him, talking over one another with the ease of those who’ve known each other for years. Carson took it like a champ, laughing and swearing at them in kind. Dani smiled with Jamie at the antics, wishing they’d done this sooner. 

“All right, all right, look,” Carson said, waving off their teasing, “They’re practically my sisters. What do you expect me to do?”

Dani laughed, an affectionate warmth spreading through her, but Jamie went stiff next to her. Taking a peak at Jamie out of the corner of her eyes, Jamie’s expression gave nothing away, an ambiguous and warm smile on her face, but she was as still as stone. Dani took a sip of her beer and surreptitiously pressed her elbow into Jamie’s arm. And as though it never happened, Jamie blinked once and brought her glass to her mouth, taking a slow sip. 

“What about you, Dani?” asked Troy, bringing Dani’s attention back to the group, “What have you been up to?”

Dani kept her elbow pressed against Jamie, somehow sitting closer than she was before when they sat down, and answered their questions. They were as friendly and animated as Dani remembered them to be. Curious over her teaching profession and congratulatory over the news of her recent engagement that she took in stride, but to no fault of their own, they were exceedingly curious about Jamie more than anything.

“What’s a Brit even doing in Iowa?”

“I didn’t even realize Iowa had British people.”

“There’s at least two more, believe it or not,” Dani added, laughing at their balked reactions. 

“Grew up here for a couple years,” Jamie answered, “Left for a bit. Went back to London, traveled around. Came back. And, well - rest is history, as they say.”

It was the most succinct and restrained answer Jamie’s given to the question to date. 

“Somehow, I have more questions than answers,” said Charlene, resting her chin on her fist with a perplexed expression, “Why would anyone come back to Iowa?”

“I have my reasons,” Jamie replied with a mischievous grin. 

“Fascinating,” Lawrence said with the same expression as his sister, “And mysterious!”

Dani and Carson snickered. Jamie huffed and kicked at Dani’s boot with her own under the table. Dani laughed, but it trailed off when Jamie’s foot remained nudged against Dani’s, the length of their calves pressed together. She nearly choked on a sip of her beer. 

“No, no, I think he’s right,” Robin spoke up, who’d been quiet for the most part, sipping at some dark drink in a tumbler glass. She looked Jamie up and down, and made a short gesture towards her, “That scar certainly adds to it.”

Jamie frowned and said, “Scar?” Robin tapped a finger on her own chin, just below the curve of her mouth. “Ah, noticed that, have you?”

“Hard not to,” Robin said, “How does one even get a scar like that?”

Jamie thumbed at her lower lip. “Got in a bar tussle years ago. Nothing to write home about, really.” Somehow, Dani managed to refrain from rolling her eyes at the lie, but just barely. When Jamie reached up to her left eyebrow, running a finger along the hair there, she frowned. “Got one here too. This one’s covered up for the most part, thankfully. Only so many scars one can have before it takes away from everything else.”

“Quite the opposite, I’d say” Robin replied, smirking over the lip of her glass, eyes intent on Jamie. 

Dani froze. Jamie arched an eyebrow and huffed out a laugh, but didn’t deign to reply. Simply leaned back further in her chair, drinking slowly. Over the din of the others at the table conversing, the nail of her thumb digging into the corner edge of the table, Dani could hear a rhythmic rush in her ears and she swallowed another heady sip of her beer to the sound, draining the glass. 

Next to her, Jamie leaned close to murmur, “Want another?”

Dani turned her head just enough to meet Jamie’s eyes and nodded with a faint smile. 

“Want something to eat, too?” Jamie asked, tilting her head in a way that shouldn’t be so endearing, “Might not get the chance for a few hours.”

“Sure.”

“Anything in mind?”

“Surprise me?”

Jamie grinned. “You’re going to regret that,” she said, and with a wink she lifted her glass to drain her own beer. Eyes drawn to the skin of Jamie’s throat as it worked, pale expanse of skin and corded tendon and muscle, Dani almost didn’t register Jamie grabbing Dani’s glass when she was done and starting towards the bar. 

Dani watched her traverse through tables and patrons until she reached the bar, calling for the bartender. The distance allowed Dani the opportunity to breathe properly again, but as she was slowly leaning back against her chair, relaxing her shoulders, Robin drained her own glass and followed Jamie. Dani’s stomach twisted in a way that was wholly unfamiliar to her as she watched Robin slide next to Jamie at the bar. 

It was strange, seeing a woman openly flirt with another and nobody so much as batted an eye. It was worse, seeing a woman openly flirt with Jamie. It hadn’t truly occurred to her whether or not Jamie dated. If she spent the night in another woman’s bed and left before the sun could rise. It wasn't as if there were a lot of options or opportunities in North Liberty as far as Dani knew. She hadn’t seen someone interested in Jamie since high school.

When Robin’s hand dropped to Jamie’s forearm, letting out a light laugh that Dani couldn’t hear from this distance, Dani looked away to the swirling grain of the wooden table, jaw clenched painfully tight, her fingers wringing together in her lap. Dani raised her head and found that from across the table, Carson was already watching her. When she smiled faintly at him, he leaned forward with his elbows on the table. 

“We’re gonna have to head upstairs soon to finish getting ready for the show,” Carson said, “You guys are welcome to come up with us to the green room if you want. We have t-shirts, and I promise to get you two in the first row.”

Dani perked up at the reminder. “How much are those t-shirts, by the way? I wanted to grab a few.”

“Dani, I’m not letting you pay for my band t-shirts.”

“Carson,” Dani said, in a warning tone, “You already gave us free tickets. I’m not letting you give me stuff for free when I could support your band.”

He laughed and raised his hands in surrender. “Fine. Have it your way. I’ll just have to sneak a few extra bits of merchandise in there while I’m at it,” he said with a wink and laughed again at Dani’s admonishing stare, innocently adding, “So, green room?”

Dani chanced another glance at the bar, not seeing Jamie or Robin in sight. She swallowed hard. “I’m - I’m not sure, but I’ll ask Jamie when she gets back.”

“No problem,” Carson said easily.

“When does the show start again?”

“In just a little over an hour,” Carson said, and glanced up to the side, his expression brightening as he gestured towards an approaching Jamie, “Enough time to eat.”

“What I miss?” Jamie said, dropping two glasses of beer on the table. She returned to her seat and nudged Dani’s elbow, “Tracked down the waitress for you. Food should be here in ten.”

“Thanks,” Dani murmured, and before she realized what she was doing, she rested the side of her boot against Jamie’s, the bare skin of Dani’s calves pressing against Jamie’s jeans. Jamie quirked an eyebrow at her, but nudged her in return.

When Carson brought up the green room again, Jamie caught her eyes with a silent question. At Dani’s noncommittal shrug, Jamie grinned indulgently, leaning back with an elbow resting on the back of her own chair, her hand dangling dangerously close to Dani’s shoulder, and said, “Think we’ll be fine down here. Cheers.”

Carson’s eyes flickered between them for a moment and he chuckled. “Another time, then,” he said. 

Soon after, the waitress arrived with food in hand. A basket of nachos and a stand with a pan of veggie pizza resting atop. She gave Jamie an appreciative glance, but Jamie was already busy devouring her basket of nachos. As though feeling eyes on her, Jamie’s eyes flitted up to meet Dani’s mid-chew, and at Dani’s smile, she shrugged nonchalantly as though it had been the plan all along to request Dani’s favorite pizza. 

Dani gave one last nudge of her foot to Jamie’s and dug in. As they ate, just before Carson’s bandmates began to depart upstairs where the venue and green room resided, they demanded the table do a round of shots. Dani, unused to alcohol stronger than beer or wine, winced at the idea. As she downed her shot with the others, Jamie and Carson cheered her on. Carson smacked her on the back when she made a face and pushed the now empty shot glass away.

“Twice in a week,” Jamie said teasingly, “Who are you and what have you done with Dani Clayton?”

Dani poked her in the ribs in retaliation. The group departed soon after, leaving with waves and well wishes to enjoy the show until it was only Carson left at the table with Dani and Jamie. 

“I really hope you guys enjoy the show,” he said, appearing nervous for the first time tonight, “We’ve been working on a bunch of new songs recently, and we think they’re pretty good.”

“From what I remember, you guys are amazing,” Dani assured, “We’re going to love it.”

He smiled, but his eyes flitted anxiously to Jamie who shrugged, still nursing her nachos. “Don’t look at me,” she said, her expression just short of teasing, “Last I remember, you were banging on buckets in the garage with wooden spoons, so jury’s still out.”

Carson rolled his eyes and snatched up a tortilla chip before Jamie could react. 

“Oi!” Jamie barked, shoving away his arm, “I paid for that.”

He stood, moving out of reach as he chewed on his ill-begotten goods. “And that’s my cue!”

“Break a leg!” Dani said, laughing. 

“Enjoy your date!” he called back.

Jamie grabbed a balled up napkin and flung it at his head. It went flying just a foot away from Carson’s face, falling somewhere beneath a table. He laughed and rushed further away until he disappeared up a stairwell near the back of the bar. 

“Wanker,” Jamie muttered. 

“So, they seemed nice,” Dani said. 

Jamie nodded, grunting in response as she ate. Rolling her eyes, Dani reached over and snagged her own tortilla chip with a healthy dose of toppings and ate it before Jamie could even react. Jamie shot her a scowl so petulant that Dani just laughed. In retaliation, Jamie reached over to the scant remains of her pizza and plucked out a bell pepper to pop in her mouth. 

“Very mature,” Dani said dryly. 

“Do my best,” Jamie said, smirking and reaching for another loaded tortilla chip. 

Jamie cursed under her breath as hot sauce dripped down the crux of fingers. Feeling as though she was watching a car crash happen in slow motion, terrible and enthralling all at once, Dani watched Jamie run her tongue along the length of her fingers in one long swipe. Her breath shallow, Dani faintly pushed a paper napkin towards Jamie and looked away, her cheeks hot. 

“Cheers,” Jamie said. 

Dani only hummed in response, trying desperately to settle her racing heart. There was some distant part of her — the part that wasn’t addled by alcohol or Jamie’s mere presence — that still couldn’t believe this was happening. It should’ve felt strange. The pull. The coil of her stomach. The straying of her eyes. But nothing with Jamie ever felt strange. It was like unlocking a heart-hued door. A door that had always been there, chained up without a key, beating and thundering to be opened this entire time. And all it took was the curve of Jamie’s smile and the warm graze of their hands to find the key. 

Before she could do something foolish, Dani busied herself with finishing her pizza. When Jamie spoke, something about the food being far too good for a bar as grungy as this one, Dani laughed, grateful and relieved for something else to focus on as their talk of bars strayed from one topic to another. 

The bar began to gradually empty as people began to make their way upstairs for the show. Jamie urged them to follow, eager and not wanting to be too far back from the stage. Dani guided them up the stairs, graffiti and art painted along the walls, and gave their tickets to a man standing guard at the entrance to the room. It was already dark when they entered, blue show lights cascading on a small crowd already waiting near the stage, but still bright enough that Dani could make out the plethora of graffiti on the dark walls as though concert goers had been given free reign with markers and stickers. While the room was large enough to fit at least two hundred people, the stage was no taller than their waists, small enough that if Dani were right up against the stage, she could stretch far enough across to graze her fingers against Carson’s drum kit. 

“Bit cozy, inn’it?” Jamie said, head twisting around as she took in the space. 

“It’s a really popular venue, believe it or not,” Dani said, valiantly ignoring the stretch of Jamie’s neck. 

The venue alone wasn’t the only thing just as popular. Carson’s band appeared to have gained a larger following since she’d last seen them. Dani had to murmur an apology to someone next to her as their shoulders jostled, stepping closer to Jamie as she did so. 

“You going to be all right?” Jamie asked over the din of conversation around them. 

Dani had to refrain from jumping away at Jamie’s voice so nearby, their shoulders grazing. “Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s pretty crowded,” Jamie said, with a cursory glance around them, and shot Dani a look of faint concern, gesturing with an encompassing wave in her direction, “Y’know, with your - ”

“Oh,” Dani murmured, softening under Jamie’s concern, “I’ll be okay. It’s different in crowds. Not like — “ she made a weak gesture, but Jamie nodded all the same in understanding “ — besides, not my first rodeo.”

Jamie laughed. “That’s right, you’re the expert,” she said, and nudged Dani’s arm. “Just let me know if you need me to toss a couple elbows. I’ll be happy to do so.”

“Sure,” Dani drawled, “And not just so you can have an excuse to start a mosh pit, right?”

“Surprised you even know what that is.” At Dani’s glare, Jamie gave her a look that was somehow both impish and innocent. “Just an offer, is all.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Dani said dryly. 

They didn’t have to wait much longer after the room filled, music playing low on the sound system to keep the crowd’s energy going. When Carson and his bandmates spilled out from a side door, Dani and Jamie cheered along with the crowd at their appearance as they waved and settled themselves at their respective instruments. Carson himself had shed his leather jacket, leaving him in only his white undershirt as he scanned the crowd, waving furiously when he spotted them. Jamie whistled loudly in between two fingers in a way that Dani had always failed at replicating, and Carson sent a sharp salute their way with a broad smile before settling behind his drum kit, amped up and bouncing in his seat. 

“Hey, long time no see, Des Moines,” Troy said into the microphone, grinning at the crowd, “Thank you for coming to our show. We are The Greasers and the Gaggers.”

Dani bit her lip to contain a snicker as Jamie snorted a loud laugh, the sound smothered by another cheer from the crowd. 

“It’s a work in progress,” Charlene deadpanned into her own mic, smirking when the rest of the band and crowd laughed as though it were a long running joke.

“We’re gonna start with a fan favorite,” Troy continued his introductions, strumming notes on his guitar, “Enjoy the show — ” he paused to smirk and wink “ — but not too much.”

“That’s not ominous at all,” Dani said, grinning when Jamie laughed again. 

The song started slow, building gradually with guitars and the heavy bass of Carson’s drums leading the way until eventually exploding into a bright sound Dani was all too familiar with from Carson and Jamie’s favorite radio stations. The sound reverberated in Dani’s chest, loud and booming like an echo chamber, and by halfway through the song, she was already bobbing her head to the beat. 

Jamie leaned close to speak directly in her ear over the sound of drums and synth, “Is it just me, or are they actually good?”

Dani laughed breathlessly, barely suppressing a shiver from the warmth of Jamie’s breath against her skin. “I really wouldn’t know,” Dani admitted, swaying to Troy’s baritone voice as he sang. 

It was genuinely catchy in truth, the sound a mixture of the rough grind of guitars she was used to hearing from Jamie’s old transistor radio growing up, and bright synth and hard drums of the more recent electronic sounds. Troy shared vocals with both Robin and Lawrence, but Carson was the most fun to watch. Surge of pride and enjoyment spread through her as she watched him drum under the bright colorful lights, endless energy and concentration. He had at one point broken a stick mid-song and grabbed another one from a stand next to him without missing a beat. She only managed to catch the moment due to sheer determination to not let her eyes stray to Jamie next to her. 

It was getting increasingly hard not to let her gaze linger. She had taken a peek or two since the show started, more to see if Jamie was enjoying herself, and happily found her bobbing her head to the beat and swaying with a broad grin under blue lights. But the pull was still there, inevitable as gravity. The music washed over her and the call and response of the crowd. At the start of a new song, more rough and fast paced than the ones previous, Dani looked up to the stage just in time to catch Robin sending a wink in their direction, taking the lead vocals of the song as she strummed her bass, enticing and dark eyed in a way that not even Dani could deny. A clench of discomfort that was growing more familiar by the hour pressed against her chest, but before Dani could even begin processing that, the crowd behind them cheered and surged forward.

Stumbling slightly forward, she felt more than heard Jamie laugh next to her, their shoulders pressed together. Dani inhaled sharply. A hand rested low on her waist near the dip of her spine as Jamie slipped slightly behind her until she could feel the press of their shoulders together. Her breath caught in her chest, feeling the heat of Jamie’s hand even through the fabric of her dress. She held herself absolutely still when Jamie leaned in close to say, “Again, just say the word.”

It took Dani an embarrassingly long time to remember what Jamie was referring to, but she nodded faintly. Feeling Jamie laugh again, her shoulder jostling with the movement, Jamie’s hand dropped from her back. For a brief wild moment, Dani thought about grabbing her hand and pulling so that Jamie was flush against her back. 

It was hard to concentrate on the rest of the show afterwards, with Jamie keeping valiant watch from more jostling. Dani kept her eye glued to Carson instead, nodding to the beat and not the way her heart crashed against her ribs with every movement Jamie made just behind her. And when the show came to its inevitable end, closing out with another slow build of a song that had everyone cheering and yelling wildly, Jamie finally slipped back beside her to properly cheer. When Jamie caught her eyes, bright even under the dim lights, her smile broad and electric, Dani couldn’t hope but to mirror it, feeling her hand mindlessly grasp Jamie’s, tangling their fingers together. 

They cheered as the band waved and bowed, making their exit from the stage. Carson found them again in the crowd, his hair a sweaty floppy mess, his shirt and skin damp, blowing a kiss that Jamie playfully waved away as Dani laughed. When the crowd slowly began to disperse, Jamie kept a firm hold of Dani’s hand as she guided them through the crowd. 

Dani leaned close to say, “You think the bathrooms aren’t too crazy right now?” 

Jamie snorted and replied, “You’d be better off running down the street to McDonalds.”

But even before she finished speaking, Jamie was already pushing faster through the crowd, again ignoring the disgruntled looks and muttering. Restless energy still buzzing beneath her skin, Dani followed as they wedged their way through, feeling Jamie’s hand squeeze hers until Jamie was pressing them both towards the bathrooms.

While the bathroom was busy with the coming and going of other women, the stall Dani shut herself in, graffitied and marked over like the rest of the bar, was a blessing in disguise. She pressed her back against the door as soon it was locked, her eyes shut as she exhaled shakily, slowly, her fists clenched at her sides. Over the sound of conversation and water running, the bass of music coming from the bar, there was the ever present rush of blood in her ears. An overwhelming vertigo pulsing under her skin. 

Banging the back of her head lightly against the door, she muttered, “Get it together, Dani.”

She pushed it away. Pressed it down until she could no longer feel the ghost of the warmth of Jamie’s hand in her own. Until she could stand on her own two legs without feeling rooted to the spot under Jamie’s smile. 

Jamie was already waiting for her when she exited, leaning on the dark wall across the bathroom entrance, her hands in her jean pockets and her eyes dark under the dim lights of the hallway. Dani’s stomach sank when the feeling of being unmoored returned, crashing through her scant defenses as Jamie spotted her, eyes lighting up. 

“Took you bloody long enough,” Jamie said. She jerked her head towards the bar, “One more for the road?”

All Dani could do was smile faintly and nod, following Jamie back towards the bar where she got them one more beer to share between them and a glass of water for herself.

“I think you’ve spent a crazy amount of money on me tonight,” Dani finally managed to say after they found an empty table to wait for Carson’s return. 

Jamie just grinned and shrugged. “You can pay next time.”

The fact that Dani had managed to come out to Carson’s show tonight was a miracle in of itself, the idea of a next time with Jamie left her buzzing in both anticipation and dread of having to go through all of this all over again. She nodded eagerly all the same, nursing her beer, buzzed and hapless to her fate. 

A commotion behind them caught their attention, and they both turned to find Carson and his bandmates surrounded by a group of fans clamoring for autographs and photographs. Carson had changed into a clean shirt, his hair damp and slicked back as though he had splashed water all over it. And if his broad smile and laugh was any indication, he was used to the kind of attention he was receiving. Jamie snickered, stealing a sip from their beer as they watched. 

When Carson finally slipped away and spotted them, he made a beeline straight towards their table, his hands full with what looked like a pile of folded t-shirts. Dani shot up to hug him before he could say a word. 

“You were amazing!” she said. He laughed, returning the hug until she stepped away to rest her hands on his shoulders, “I’m so proud of you.”

He smiled and ducked his head. “Thanks,” he said, and held out the t-shirts, “For you, just as promised.”

“Thank you.” She ran a hand over the soft fabric and embossed design of the band’s name in bold letters over a black and white photo of the group in front of a brick wall. Before she could stop herself, she unfolded one of the shirts and slipped it on over her dress, pulling her hair out from under the collar and smoothing over the fabric before cheerfully hugging Carson again. 

“Let the man breathe,” Jamie said, laughing as Dani returned to her seat, “Don’t you know rockstars like their personal space?”

“Shut up,” Carson muttered, sitting opposite them. 

“Really? You can do better than that.”

“You’re ruining the moment, asshole,” he countered.

“Better,” Jamie chuckled, but there was a great deal of pride of her own in her eyes as she regarded him, gesturing towards him with the beer they shared, “You are full of surprises, aren’t you?”

“Told you it’d be worth it.” 

“You did,” Jamie said, nodding concedingly, “Tell me again why you lot aren’t signed with someone or out touring the country?”

“Because — “ said the voice of Troy as he appeared behind Carson, slapping a hand down on Carson’s shoulder to lightly jostle it “ — we’re all too busy with other things.”

Troy was the only one to return, sitting beside Carson as the rest of the band had dispersed across the bar doing their own thing. 

“Some of us are still in school, so we’re not that crazy over the idea of making it big yet,” Troy added, and nudged Carson’s arm, “Besides, this one wants to be a star chef.”

“Reckon you can manage both,” Jamie said with such fixed certainty that Carson straightened upright. 

Before Carson could get the chance to respond, Troy nudged him again with a teasing grin, “Max is here by the way. He was looking for you.”

Carson blinked, his eyes just slightly wide. 

Jamie noticed, arching an eyebrow. “Max?”

“A friend,” Carson replied quickly.

“That right?” Jamie said, smirking over the rim of the glass.

Carson shot Jamie a dirty look, curiously avoiding Dani’s gaze. 

Just then, Robin sauntered towards the table. “You guys enjoy the show?”

Even as a rigid tension seeped into Dani’s shoulders, the ingrained sense of politeness drilled into Dani since birth won out. She nodded and said, “You were amazing.”

“Certainly better than I was ever expecting,” Jamie said, shooting Carson a wink. 

Troy laughed goodnaturedly, “Well, thanks for your honesty.”

“Ignore her. She’s being a dick,” Carson grumbled, but smiled all the same. 

Robin turned to Jamie with a tilt of her head. “Can I get you a drink?”

Dani felt like she was watching it happen in slow motion, stuck inside a water tank, hand pressed on the glass as Robin smirked and once again ran a not so subtle eye over Jamie. But Jamie reclined further back in her chair.

“Cheers, but we’ve got a long drive home,” Jamie said with a polite smile. 

Robin shrugged. “A smoke then.”

Jamie seemed to hesitate at that, her fingers tapping restlessly against the table, and turned to Dani with a questioning look. 

Dani nudged her foot under the table and said, “It’s all right.”

“You sure?”

Nodding, Dani gestured towards Carson. “We’ll meet you outside.”

Jamie stared for just a moment longer, as though waiting for Dani to say something more. When Dani said nothing – just smiled and deftly ignored the growing discomfort in her stomach – Jamie nodded and shot her a quick grin. Sliding the half empty glass towards Dani, Jamie rose to her feet and gestured for Robin to lead the way, already digging in her pocket for her pack of cigarettes as they retreated outside. Dani worried her lower lip with her teeth as she watched them go, slowly returning her gaze to the table with a faint frown when they slipped out the door. 

When she looked up, she caught Carson’s gaze. Unlike last time, his smile shot a course of fear through her, of being looked through and seen in a way she was wholly unready for. Carson had always been good at it, second to Jamie. Of seeing the fine lines of Dani’s expressions and lending a shoulder when she needed it. Most times she welcomed his quiet comfort. Tonight, she wanted nothing more than to slip away into the shadows, casting away this version of herself like an old dress.

“I’m really happy you guys came,” he finally said after Troy made his leave to the bar, earnest in a way he only seemed to ever reveal around her or Judy. “It means a lot to me.”

“I know,” Dani said, “I’m really happy we did too. I had so much fun. More than I had in a long time, I think.”

“That’s all I wanted.” He paused, then added, “Too bad Ed couldn’t come along too, huh? Show up and have fun for once.”

Even the mention of Eddie’s name made her freeze. She hadn’t thought of him once all night, too caught up in the show, too caught up in Jamie. Ignoring the weight of guilt in her chest – heavy as riverstones that would surely sink her to the bottom – Dani leaned forward to grasp his hand. 

“You know how he is. He’s busy with work, he - he wants to make a good impression,” Dani said, gripping his hand harder, urging him to look at her. When he finally did, she softly added, “I’m sorry he couldn’t come.”

“Having you and Jamie here is enough,” he said, and shrugged. “Just figures that it would be you two to make the effort and not — “

He didn’t finish his sentence, making a short sharp gesture. Dani offered him a faint smile that he slowly mirrored, gripping his hand again and feeling the pressure returned. He exhaled slowly, tension slipping away from his shoulders as he looked away and cast his eyes around the bar. 

“I’m gonna go say hi to Max,” Carson said, turning back to her, “Is that all right? I’ll be back soon.”

Dani nodded, still faintly concerned, but he seemed anxious to see his friend, his eyes darting back to the bar every few seconds, his knee bouncing. So Dani smiled, releasing his hand and watching him march over the bar, disappearing into the throng of people crowding around. She sat alone for a moment, nursing her beer. When a few of Carson’s bandmates returned to the table, Robin, Jamie, and Carson were still nowhere in sight. They kept her company for a minute, and she praised them for the show. Promising to return again when she could, and happily taking a zine that was handed to her by Lawrence where there was a whole full page spread promoting the band with photos and blurbs of each member. Dani had them all sign it for her, planning to get Carson and Robin to complete the collection. 

“Have you guys seen Carson?” she asked, holding a spare pen in one hand and the zine in the other. 

Lawrence motioned towards the stairwell. “Think he was that way?”

She left them with handshakes and waves, making her way through the crowd towards the stairs. Instead of dizzying blue lights, the second floor venue was lit like a gas station forecourt. Every nook and cranny unveiled, but the room was mostly empty save for a few groups of people talking in corners with drinks in hand. A quick glance around, standing on her toes, proved that Carson was nowhere in sight. Dani made for the side door and tested the handle, relieved to find it unlocked. 

The hallway inside was just as brightly lit. The sound of the music and conversation downstairs was muffled, but as she turned a corner, the unmistakable sound of a moan jerked her to a stop. Her eyes widened.

That was definitely Carson pressing another man against the wall, the pair kissing hungrily as their hands wandered. Dani was frozen to the spot, feeling as though she just crashed through an entirely different reality. At the sound of another moan from the man melting under Carson’s attention, Dani’s whole body flinched, and feeling more idiotic and voyeuristic by the second, she slipped back around the corner and out the side door as quietly as possible. 

Her hands had gripped the zine into fists, she realized with faint shock, staring blankly at the door as she shut it. She cleared her throat and tried to smooth it out as best she could before folding it away. Dani slowly made her way back downstairs to the bathroom that was blissfully empty, and splashed her cheeks with water cold enough to sting, to jar her back to earth. She swallowed hard and smoothed down her hair before slowly making her way out the bathroom, through the bar, and stepping outside into the brisk night. 

It had gotten colder after the evening waned into night. The air stung her exposed skin in a way that was both refreshing and uncomfortable, a bleak reminder she was only wearing a thin dress and a t-shirt. Immediately wrapping her arms around herself, the extra t-shirts and zine tucked under her arm, her breath misted into white vapor with every exhale as she cast her eyes around for Jamie. When she spotted her nearby, leaning against the wall with Robin beside her, wearing a stony but polite expression as they chatted quietly with a cigarette dangling between two fingers, Dani’s shoulders bunched up incremenantly. She eased closer, her boots clacking against the pavement. At the sound, Jamie looked over and her expression brightened. 

“You regretting that dress now?” Jamie said, chuckling as Dani stepped next to her, shivering but stubbornly ignoring the fact, “Poppins, it’s freezing. You should wait inside.”

Dani shrugged and said, “Was getting too warm inside.”

Arching a disbelieving eyebrow at her, Jamie shook her head. “Here,” she said, and placed her cigarette between her lips before shrugging off her jacket, leaving her in only a t-shirt.

“It’s fine. I’m - “

“Just take it,” Jamie said, the cigarette bobbing as she spoke, holding out the jacket for Dani to slip into, “The t-shirt over a dress is a fashion statement for sure, but you and I both know it’s doing shitall at keeping you warm.”

They stared at each other for a long moment, both square jawed and stubborn, but at another wintry breeze Dani relented with a sigh. Jamie grinned and Dani shot her a look, turning to let Jamie help her into the jacket. She regretted it immediately. The jacket was already warm from Jamie’s body heat, and she had to squash the urge to pull up the collar and press her nose to the smell of smoke and sandalwood. Instead, she carefully schooled her expression as she turned back around. Jamie rubbed her hands up and down Dani’s arms in a valiant effort to warm her up, doing nothing to help Dani’s racing heart. 

Dani gestured weakly to the cigarette. “Can I -?”

Without hesitation, Jamie took one last drag and handed the burning cigarette to her. For a long moment, Dani stared down at the faint lipstick residue left on the filter. Of all the cigarettes shared between them over the years — a handful at best — reaching for this one felt like sinking right through the ground. Slowly, she placed it between her lips, feeling a thrill race down her spine as she took a drag, liquid hot and electrifying. 

Her lungs burning, her eyes flitted up and caught Jamie’s, already watching her with an expression she couldn’t quite place. Blowing out the smoke with pursed lips up into the air, she handed the cigarette back, clenching her teeth at the graze of their hands. Frowning down at the cigarette, Jamie flicked off the ashes and shook her head. It was a small movement. Dani might have missed it if she weren’t already looking so closely.

“You want more?” Jamie asked.

“No,” Dani murmured.

“Shit habit anyways,” Jamie muttered, and without another word, she stubbed out the cigarette against the wall and tossed it into a nearby trash can. She cleared her throat and frowned over Dani’s shoulder. “Where’s Carson?”

“Uh — ” Dani cleared her throat. “Busy. He’s busy. We should - we should just go.”

Jamie hummed and nodded, giving her a small smile. 

Still leaning on the wall nearby, Robin smoked quietly, her eyes drifting between Dani and Jamie with a look that wasn’t so much displeased as it was inquisitive. Dani wrapped her arms tighter around herself, scanning the street lit by lamp posts and store signs and the passing of cars to avoid looking either of them in the eye. 

“That’s it, huh?” Robin said, her voice raspy from smoke and a night of raucous singing. It was irritatingly alluring. 

“'Fraid so,” Jamie said with a shrug. 

“Carson’s gonna be staying over at mine and Troy’s place for the night once we’re done packing up,” Robin said, taking another long drag and slowly blowing it out, white smoke framing her dark hair, “You two are always welcome to stay over if you’ve got such a long drive.”

“We’ll manage,” Jamie said, a coiled tension in her jaw, placing a hand on Dani’s back, gently guiding her towards the truck down the street. 

“Sure,” Robin said, chuckling, though there was little amusement to it. Dani’s shoulders bunched up further at the sound. “See you two around, then. Thanks for coming.”

Polite to a fault, Dani smiled and nodded as they turned away. “You too. Have a good night.”

“Bye,” Robin said. 

Jamie gave a short, jerky wave behind her. “See you.”

When they were back in the truck, Jamie started the engine and immediately cranked the heat up to high. “Christ, it’s cold,” she muttered with an exaggerated shiver.

“You want your jacket back?”

“I’ll be fine,” Jamie shook her head, shooting her a grin. “Looks better on you anyways.” 

Any snarky retort Dani could’ve had died in her throat. She said lamely, “News said it should get warmer over the next few weeks. Just in time for Halloween.”

“Ah, so you do check the weather,” Jamie said, checking both ways down the street before easing the truck into the nighttime traffic. 

Still flustered, not knowing what else to say, Dani just rolled her eyes and groaned, “Shut up.”

Jamie laughed but didn’t say anything more. They fell silent as Jamie drove, street lights streaking slow patterns across them in the dark cabin.

At a stoplight, Jamie dug in her pocket and pulled out her rumpled carton of cigarettes. “You mind if I -?”

Dani shook her head and watched as Jamie rolled down her window a few inches. She pulled out a cheap plastic lighter and placed a cigarette in her mouth, raising a protective hand around it. A practised flick of the lighter and an inhale. Jamie’s face was illuminated in an orange glow that was reminiscent of sitting before a bonfire. Shadows and light danced across Jamie’s sharp features, and then it was gone and she was blowing smoke out the window. Dani exhaled slowly, quietly, and looked away out the windshield. 

When the truck sped up on the offramp and onto the highway, Dani felt herself shiver again. She adjusted the green blanket back over her legs. As she rested her collection of t-shirts and the zine back on her lap, she was suddenly reminded that in her haste to leave, she had not only forgotten to get both Carson and Robin’s signature for the zine, but she didn’t even get the opportunity to pay for the t-shirts. 

It seemed so inconsequential now, after the display she had accidentally stumbled into in the hallway towards the green room. Like a blindfold had been ripped off her eyes, and she could finally see every moment with Carson in the past two decades all at once. 

“Did you know?” she asked suddenly over the rumble of the wheels and the faint strains of music from the stereo. “That Carson liked -? That he was -?”

“Queer as a three dollar bank note?” Jamie finished for her dryly. She drew at the cigarette and blew smoke out the open window. “Yeah. Why? That bother you?”

Dani shook her head. “No. Why would it bother me?”

“Seem surprised is all.”

“No, it just - it never really occurred to me,” Dani said, “I feel kind of like an idiot for not seeing it before.”

Jamie offered her a kind smile and said, “Don’t be. Really. Can’t exactly see something if you’re not looking in the first place, yeah?”

“Right,” Dani murmured, her brow furrowed, not fully convinced. Not with how easy it was to see other people’s intentions over the course of the evening. She glanced at Jamie. "Robin seemed nice."

Jamie snorted. "Yeah. I don't think so."

"I mean - she was -" Dani fumbled "- good looking. I guess."

Jamie shot her a look that silently said 'Really?' and Dani could feel the flush in her cheeks. 

Shaking her head, Jamie took another long drag of her cigarette, blew the smoke out the window, and said, “She’s all right. Friendly. Talented — “ Jamie made a sharp gesture with her hand “ — whatever. Just doesn’t fuckin’ know how to take a no for an answer. Told her I had a kid waiting at home and a long drive at that, and still kept offerin’ me drinks. Last thing I bloody need is wrapping the truck around a tree ‘cause some girl can’t take a hint.”

There was a taut line to Jamie’s jaw, like she wanted nothing more than to gnash her teeth on a steel bar. Instead, she took another agitated draw of her cigarette, the smoke billowing from her nose like a red-eyed bull. 

Dani slowly asked, “Does that happen a lot?”

Jamie snorted again but was silent for a long moment, her fingers tapping almost restlessly against the steering wheel, not looking anywhere in Dani’s direction. “Not anymore,” she said. “Not when I’m working near twelve hour days in the middle of bloody nowhere with a kid to take care of.”

“So, you’re saying that girls used to be all over you?” Dani cautioned to ask, unexpectedly enjoying Jamie’s flustered huff.

“Guess you can say that,” Jamie muttered, still pointedly not looking at Dani. 

“So, there’s no one special then?” Dani said, a finger picking at a hangnail. “In your life?”

Jamie took a long drag, keeping the smoke trapped in her lungs. Her knuckles went white against the steering wheel, until she exhaled sharply into the night air, wind from the open window ruffling her hair. 

“Nope,” Jamie said, shaking her head, “No one special.”

“But there were still girls,” Dani said, not entirely sure what was possessing her to keep questioning further. 

Shooting her a curious look, Jamie shrugged. “Sure. A few, yeah,” she said, her throat working, her eyes turning back to the road. She shifted in her seat and cleared her throat before sheepishly admitting with a mutter, “More than a few, I guess.”

Jamie fell quiet, which was more than fine with Dani. Thoughts appeared in her mind, unbidden and unexpected. Images of a younger Jamie, more wild and reckless and less steady as she was now. Eyes dark under seedy bar lights, pressed against a faceless woman in a secluded corner. Lips dragging across a pale throat, a hand inching up a thigh towards less than appropriate places, the other burying and pulling at long blonde hair. 

Dani gripped the blanket atop her lap, grateful for the dark cabin to conceal her flush. Jamie took another drag of her cigarette, and Dani silently cursed her for it, her eyes straying to Jamie’s lips pursed around the filter as she inhaled and billowed smoke. Sinking further into the seat, the worn leather creaking and crackling under her shifting weight, Dani rested her head back against it, blinking slowly, feeling the alcohol course its way through her. 

She wondered, with the faint daze of someone standing on the precipice of a crumbling cliff, just how soft Jamie’s lips were. If women threw themselves at her because they understood just by a glance that Jamie knew exactly what she was doing, exactly how to press and drag and leave marks to remind them of a night in rumpled sheets. 

Dani blinked the thought away, swallowing hard. She cautioned a glance at Jamie who appeared none the wiser. She had finished her cigarette by now, the window rolled back up, fingers tapping to the beat of the radio on low, her other hand gripping the head of the gear stick. 

For one dizzying moment, Dani imagined lifting that hand and slipping it beneath the green woolen blanket, sliding it under her dress to place against the soft skin of her inner thighs, just to see her forearm work and feel the press of her calloused hands against heated, soft skin. Pressing her hand higher still, dragging it until it was where Dani never would have imagined needing it most, just to see what Jamie would do. 

Dani exhaled a slow, quiet breath that rattled in her chest, rolling her head away to face the passenger window, pressing her legs together against the heat and clench at the crux of her thighs. Gritting her teeth hard enough to send a dull ache rolling down her jaw and up her temple, Dani cranked down the window just enough to let the cold breeze whip at her face and hair, cooling her burning skin. 

She pressed her eyes shut, welcoming the sting, letting it shunt her back to earth to convince herself it was just the alcohol and the dark. That’s all it was. This wasn’t her. It couldn’t be. She was engaged. She was going to marry Eddie, her oldest friend who had never been anything but loving and kind, even through his faults and imperfections. Indentured to the mask and noose made for her by her own hands through encouragement and expectations from a society and family who wanted to see her as nothing more than the perfect, golden girl. Always eager to please and obey under the promise of being loved without second guessing it for once.

“You all right?” Jamie suddenly asked, broaching the long quiet that had settled comfortably between them. 

“What do you mean?” Dani asked, her voice miraculously steady, rolling the window back up. 

Jamie shrugged, shooting her a searching look. “Had that look about you,” she said, “Felt like I could hear that brain of yours firing away at light speed.”

Chuckling breathlessly with the faint realization how dry her mouth had gotten, Dani shook her head. “I’m fine,” she lied, “Just tired.”

With nothing but the stretch of a long, straight road ahead of them, Jamie shot her another look, arching an eyebrow. Dani gave her a weak smile, and whatever Jamie found in the corners of it, in the real tired lines of her face, seemed to assuage her worries. 

“Long day,” Jamie murmured. 

Dani hummed and said, “Long week.”

Turning back to the road, Jamie said, “Got a bit of a drive ahead of us.” She gave Dani another soft grin. “You’re welcome to rest for a bit until we get home.”

Dani frowned and stared down the dark road ahead of them, lit only by the occasional streetlight and the red and white lights of passing cars. “I don’t want to leave you alone,” Dani said, turning back to Jamie.

It took Jamie a long moment to respond to that, catching Dani’s eyes, her expression soft and warm. “Nothing I’m not used to,” Jamie murmured, “I’ve had my fair share of long drives by myself. The kid and I even drove all the way to North Liberty from the coast when we moved here.”

Dani smiled at that. “You two must’ve driven each other crazy.”

Jamie laughed and groaned. “It wasn’t pretty half the time, believe me,” she said, though her voice was fond, “Almost drove us off the road at one point.”

As Jamie regalled the story of a long running argument between the siblings during the journey across half the country, an argument centered around the food stash and who ate what and when, Dani laughed, wishing more than anything that she’d been there to see it. 

“And the other half?” Dani asked, “It couldn’t have been that bad.”

“No,” Jamie murmured, a small curl to her mouth, “He’s a good kid. Quiet and smart. Don’t know where he gets it from really.”

“I do,” Dani said, staring directly at Jamie’s profile. The crinkle of her eyes, the slant of her charmed smile. 

Jamie shot her another look, a gentle admonishment and shake of her head before she turned back to the road. “You must be tired if you’re going on and saying things like that,” she said. Her voice softened, “Rest. We’ll be home soon.”

But Dani couldn’t. Not now. Not when there were still vestiges of heat lingering on her skin. Her eyes drifted back down to Jamie’s shoulder, wanting to slide across the bench seat and rest her head there in the crook of Jamie’s neck. Wanted to breathe in that sandalwood cologne that had haunted her for a decade. Wanted to grab her hand and link their fingers in Dani’s lap, her thumb gently stroking Jamie’s knuckles. Wanted to drive until they reached a place beyond Iowa, beyond the Midwest, where they were nobody but themselves. 

Instead she curled her hands in the blanket, leaned back with a sigh, and listened to the white noise of the tires carrying them home.

--

It was well after midnight when Jamie finally dropped her home. The alcohol had run its course during the rest of the ride, leaving her sluggish and heavy-eyed, only managing a small smile and a murmured goodbye to Jamie who waited with a look of quiet affection until she stumbled through the front door before driving away. Dani watched her go, taillights disappearing in the distance, red eyes in the dark, before retreating into the house. Jamie’s departing look lingered over her as she set aside the t-shirts and zine on the side table, pushing out of her boots, sitting with her like a heavy woolen blanket across her shoulders.

The house was dark and quiet in a way that Dani was loath to disturb with stumbling in the dark, as though in fear of awakening a slumbering beast with her presence. But as she was stepping quietly towards the kitchen in search of a glass of water, light from the living room gave her pause. Blue light bounced and danced along the walls and she stepped towards it, padding onto the living room carpet to find the television on, and Eddie, stretched out along the couch, fast asleep. Something heavy sank in her chest as she stepped closer, casting her eyes over the room. A can of beer sat on the coffee table as highlight clips of the Minnesota Twins winning the World Series ran on mute on tv. And Eddie, glasses still on, pajamas already donned, breathing deeply on the soft cushions of their couch.

Dani slowly sat beside him on the edge of the couch, her shoulders stiff as she reached out a hand to sweep a dark curl off his forehead, her fingers grazing his skin. He twitched at the contact and Dani held her breath, her hand frozen. His eyes slowly fluttered open, blinking slowly up at her, shifting slightly on his back as a lethargic smile grew on his face. 

“Hey, you,” he murmured, a hand moving to rest against her waist. 

“Hey,” she replied softly, “What are you still doing down here?”

“Was waiting for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” she murmured. 

He gave her a shrug. “Wanted to make sure you got home safe,” he said, “Did you have fun?” When Dani nodded, he glanced down at the t-shirt she still wore and he plucked at the fabric with a grin. “Hopefully not too much fun.”

Dani tensed, a sharp retort on the tip of her tongue. She fought it down and tucked it away. Just teasing, she tried to convince herself. Only teasing. 

Before Dani could say anything further, Eddie’s eyes lingered over her torso for a moment longer. “This is new,” he said, running a hand down her arm. 

Frowning, Dani looked down in bewilderment and inhaled a quiet breath at Jamie’s jacket still draped over her. “Oh,” Dani choked out and gave a nervous, small laugh. “It’s - um. It was cold out.”

If Eddie recognized the jacket at all, he gave no indication of it. He simply nodded. Nothing happened, she told herself again, and repeated it like a mantra when it did nothing to help that coil of guilt twisting tighter around her chest. 

Inhaling a steady breath, Dani ran her hand through Eddie’s hair, pulling her mouth into a smile that ached at her cheeks. “Why don’t you go upstairs to bed and I’ll lock up the house,” she told him softly, pushing up his glasses, “I’ll be there soon.”

Eddie gave her an affectionate smile, his eyes heavy with sleep, and murmured, “Promise?”

She blinked at him and slowly nodded. “Yeah,” she whispered. 

He left easily, leaving her with a kiss to her forehead and ascending the stairs with slow steps. Exhaling shakily, running a hand with trembling fingers through her hair, Dani turned off the tv and brought the empty beer can to the kitchen to be shoved under the sink where it would wait to be collected for recycling another day. After gulping down almost an entire glass of water, only then did Dani finally allow herself to register the suede jacket she still wore, to run her hands over the fabric and shut her eyes in the dim kitchen lights, inhaling the lingering smell of woodsmoke and sandalwood. She had to lean back against the counter, pressing the glass of water to her forehead. 

Dani left the glass on the counter and pushed off it, starting towards the garage where her car was parked. It was cold inside, the concrete glacial beneath her feet. She unlocked her car and peeled off Jamie’s jacket, smothering the urge to press the collar against her nose with a hard bite to her lip and folded it neatly before resting it on the passenger seat for the next time she saw Jamie. Shivering, Dani shut the car door shut and felt the coiling tension in her shoulders ease just enough to feel normal again. But when she turned around, her eyes landed on the piles of boxes in the corner and subsequently, the old dirty paperback that she had carelessly tossed aside a week ago. 

She froze and stared at it for a long moment. Her fists pressed tight to her thighs, she made an abortive step forward before realizing what she was doing. For all its terrible prose, there was something there in those yellowed pages that had drawn Jamie to it as a teenager, unlike Dani who shied away from it as though it would bite her hand. She wanted to know what the big deal was. What about it did Jamie like. But still, even just looking at it, Dani felt foolish. Felt like she was sticking her hand in the proverbial cookie jar. 

She wrapped her arms loosely around her stomach, warding off the chill of the garage even as her cheeks warmed, and without another glance, she marched back inside of the house.

--

She tried to forget. For the rest of the week, she tried. But it still lingered there in the back of her mind as she went about her days. In the quiet mornings when she woke, during the hours in between class, the evenings spent with Eddie, the nights restless and too quiet all at once — Jamie. Always Jamie. And that stupid book. 

By Friday evening, driving home after school with Jamie’s jacket still folded next to her in the passenger seat, Dani was at her wits end and determined to just get it over with. Even though she had been expecting it, when Dani pulled up to the house, she was still relieved to find that Eddie wasn’t home yet. When she parked the car in the garage, cutting off the engine and leaving her in the silence, she felt foolish again, as though she was about to commit a crime in her own house by reading a book. She glanced at the jacket beside her, still here even after opportunities arose over the week to return it through Mikey or just waiting long enough for Jamie to pull up at the school. Dani’s knuckles went white on the steering wheel. 

Huffing loudly and rolling her eyes at herself, Dani stepped out of the car and started towards the book. It’s just curiosity, she told herself, nothing to make a big deal out of. She picked it up with an irritated sigh, leaned back against the piles of boxes, and without any fanfare flipped it open to a random page. Somehow, she landed on a page without the obscenity she had been expecting. Boring drivel of a man ardently longing for a woman he couldn't have in prose so outdated she snickered. She flipped to another random page where the woman herself finally made an appearance, but beyond detailed descriptions of her looks, there was still nothing.

Pressing her mouth into a thin line, Dani flipped further along and paused. “Oh,” she murmured, raising an eyebrow at an elaborate description of the pair passionately going at it in the back of a car. 

Dani leaned further against the boxes, tilting her head as she read, feeling her cheeks heat up. As terrible as it was, the prose was detailed and intense and focused intently on the woman involved — how she looked, how she felt, the noises she made, the way her body moved. Dani swallowed thickly as she read a passage of the woman pulling hard on the protagonist's hair that bobbed between her legs. Blinking down at the words, her breath stuttering, Dani skipped to another page, finding another passage of wine-drunk lovemaking on rumpled sheets. It was almost dizzying how many scenes there were. How intent the author was in placing the reader in the shoes of this faceless male protagonist. She felt breathless the more she read, her skin warm, her heart pounding steadily against her chest. 

Flipping to another page, she found another, this time of the woman pressing the man against a wall and dropping to her knees, pulling open his belt with a rakish grin and wanton intent. Dani sucked in a low breath. Jamie on her knees, looking up at her with a smirk and that dangerous glint in her darkened eyes, pliant and eager as Dani, raking a hand through her curls and gripping tight. Jamie moaning as Dani arched her head back by the hair, exposing the long lines of her neck. Jamie’s hands dragging up her legs, her thumbs skimming the soft skin of her inner thighs as Dani pulled her closer and closer to wet heat. 

Dani slammed the book shut. Her breath shallow and unsteady, she tossed it back on the box as though it had scalded her. Her fingers trembling, she pressed a hand over her mouth, desperately trying to cast the images away as well to very little effect. Jamie on her knees. Dark curls tangled between Dani’s knuckles. Tongue licking at a scarred mouth. A spool of heat threaded its way between her legs, a dizzying ache that felt as though she was being torn at the seams. 

Exhaling shakily, Dani smoothed down the lines of her skirt as though she could smooth away the jagged edges of this person she didn’t recognize. This person who walked through her house to her bedroom in a faint daze with the sole intent of washing away the guilt and want with water cold enough to hurt until she could pick up the pieces of herself again for when Eddie got home.

She was used to it by now. Picking up the pieces. But as cold water washed down her shoulders and down her back, staring at the tiles with glazed eyes, biting into the skin of her thumb, she felt no different. Just a futile desire to be rid of the feeling, the scattered remains of her sinking down the drain. And when Eddie finally returned home later, finding her in the kitchen chopping vegetables for dinner and stepping behind her to wrap his arms around her waist in greeting, she let herself sink into it. Letting the comforting warmth of Eddie block away everything else. 

This could be her, she told herself again as she let him kiss her before he pulled up his sleeves to help with dinner. This had to be her. She just wasn’t sure how anymore.

--

Lips pressed against her neck in a lingering kiss, warm and soft against her skin, her eyes fluttering open to the feeling. They slowly made their way down her throat to her shoulders, leaving a trail of hot skin. Her breath caught, feeling as though she was waking up from a deep haze, the world came into sharp focus as a hand skimmed over her ribs down to her hip and thigh.

Dani had been here before. A familiar haunting that came and went through the years. A ghost that shadowed her dreams, unbidden and anticipated in equal measure.

Inhaling another stuttering breath as that warm mouth trailed down her chest, she looked down to find a head of dark curls obscuring the face of the figure pressing into her. A shock of liquid heat coursed down her spine as those lips lavished attention to her breasts, and she couldn’t help the soft moan escaping her. Dani buried a hand into those dark curls, letting her nails drag gently across their scalp. 

“Look at me,” she said, her stomach coiling, her hips twitching as their mouth worked on her. 

But the figure never did. In all the times Dani has been here, the figure never looked up, never caught her eyes and showed their face. They were an amorphous silhouette, submerged in shadow. An outline lit by a familiar dim lamp. An old acquaintance to warm her bed and light a match within her chest. One that descended lower, kissing and biting gently at her ribs and stomach, spreading goosebumps along her skin.  

She was trembling, an ache building between her legs until she felt slick with it. Hands, strong and steady, pressed into her thighs, silently urging her to spread them open. Dani eagerly complied, her breath shallow. “Look at me,” she repeated, her hand tugging at that dark hair, but just as she expected, the shadow ignored her in favor of pressing hot kisses across her hips and down her thighs, biting at soft skin and smoothing it over with their tongue. 

She bit back a moan, pulling harder. The figure groaned low, sending another shock between her legs, clenching at nothing as she strained her ears to the sound. She couldn’t place it. She never could. Her eyes skimmed over shoulders and a lean back that was shrouded in shadow, and for the first time in years knew exactly who she desired this person to be. 

Kisses traveled back up her inner thighs, a slow trail that was steadily driving Dani mad with anticipation as those calloused hands pulled her legs over their shoulders. Heated breath spread over her until finally, a hot tongue ran up the length of her in one long, torturous swipe. She moaned in relief, in the hot press of that mouth working against her and casting a fire under her skin, swirling and sucking with single minded intent. She felt dizzy with it, like she could unfurl and blow away in a derecho gust. 

A hand moved between her legs to slowly press into her, a finger curling and thrusting and pulling sounds from her that left her flushing scarlet. It was almost too much, the sensation tightening the coil at the base of her spine. She fought to keep her eyes open, groaning at the sight of a head of dark curls bobbing between her legs. 

She pulled the hair hard enough to hurt. “Look at me,” she breathed, insistent and urgent as the coil grew tighter. “Jamie, look at me. ”

That face tilted up, eyes dark as a sea at storm, and Dani awoke with a jerk.

There was a gentle hand on her shoulder, shaking her awake. Blinking, she squinted up at Eddie, who was leaning up on one elbow beside her.

“You okay?” he asked, rubbing at a patch of bare skin at her shoulder, his thumb brushing against the lace of her pink nightgown. “You were making little noises in your sleep. I thought it might be one of those nightmares again.”

She shook her head and pushed the bangs from her eyes. “Sorry. I uh –” Lowering her hand to peer up at him, Dani knew he couldn’t see her clearly even this close without his glasses, couldn’t see the flush across her face or the way she clamped her teeth tightly together. “What time is it?” she asked.

“About –” He rolled onto his back so he could check the clock on his bedside table. “– Six? Just after. Plenty of time if you wanted to catch some more shut eye before we have to get up.”

Dani wasn’t tired. Dani’s heart was still racing from the dream. There was a fire dragging its way beneath her skin. She might have been tempted to retreat to the ensuite under the pretence of an early shower, giving herself enough time to work out her current predicament on her own, but that had never worked for her in the past – she had tried several times – and she couldn’t imagine it working now.

Tossing back the duvet, she clambered astride Eddie, shifting so that she wasn’t kneeling on her nightgown, so that the fabric was rucked up around her thighs. “Can we -?”

His expression was startled but he nodded. “Yeah. Sure,” he said, sounding slightly breathless. “I just didn’t think –”

But her hands were already moving to tug him free of his boxer briefs. It wasn’t often she took any sort of initiative in this. It wasn't ever, if she was being honest. The abrupt shift left Eddie looking baffled but excited, his gaze darting from her face to her hands. Dani’s breathing had quickened in anticipation – not of feeling him, but of feeling something – and when she sank down onto him she had to bite back a deep-seated groan. His hands grasped at her waist, but she pushed them aside so that he could only grab the sheets and watch. 

Squeezing her eyes shut, Dani tried to keep quiet, tried to lock away every gasp and sharp inhalation, tried to keep the bed springs from creaking or the headboard from nudging the wall with every hard rock of her hips. She chased after the memory of the dream, swiftly fading, conjuring up the stroke of a tongue and the curl of fingers. She could hear Eddie make a desperate little noise beneath her when she leaned down to fix her teeth into his shoulder. When he tried to lift his head to kiss at her neck, to reciprocate in some way, she grabbed a fistful of his hair and yanked him away.

It was a terrifyingly bad decision, grinding down against Eddie while thinking of someone else. Tremendously wrong to buck her hips, panting into the hollow of his throat, while thinking of Jamie. But her thighs were slick and trembling, and there was a thrill spooling tight as a spring at the base of her spine, and she was close — she was so close —

Dani muffled a noise by biting down, feeling him wince beneath her with a hiss. She shuddered to a halt, forehead pressed against the pillow over Eddie’s shoulder, the cotton fabric of her nightgown sticking slightly to her back. She was still trying to even out her breathing when Eddie carded his hands through her hair to get it out of his face.

“Sorry,” she gasped, slipping free and shifting onto her side so she could roll onto her back beside him. She did not remain there long, breathing heavily towards the ceiling, feeling spent, feeling hollow. She cleared her throat and sat up, raking her hair back with both hands, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed. She tensed when she felt a broad hand on her back. 

“Feeling better?” he asked.

Gripping the hem of her nightgown, the cloth bunching up between her fingers, Dani chewed at her lower lip and nodded. The thrum beneath her skin had dwindled to a distant murmur, but in its wake her stomach lurched into her throat. She stood abruptly and announced, “I’m going to take a shower.”

Eddie said something in return, but it did not register. Blindly Dani pushed her way into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her, hand trembling against the cool metal of the handle. She flinched away from the sight of her own reflection in the mirror; she didn’t want to see the mussed quality of her hair or the high color in her cheeks. Instead, she set the shower to heat up while she pulled off her nightgown and used the toilet. When she tugged the shower curtain shut and stepped beneath the water, it was hot enough to scald. 

Steam clogged up the air. It felt like she was drowning in a fog. The spray and the heat should have been soothing, but Dani pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes and had to remind herself that crying in the shower when Eddie could come into the bathroom at any moment was a bad idea. Not nearly as bad an idea as having sex with him while wishing it had been with her best friend instead, but still. Unwise. 

It wasn’t cheating, she told herself. And nothing had happened with Jamie. Nor would it. She wouldn’t. 

She reached for the soap anyway and with shaking hands scrubbed herself clean.

There was a tap at the bathroom door, and then the telltale flux of warm air rushing out as the door opened and Eddie stepped inside. “Mind if I come in?”

For a brief panicked moment Dani thought he meant into the shower , but then there followed the sound of him lifting up the toilet seat and she relaxed. If she washed her hair and pretended the last quarter hour or so hadn’t happened, she could almost fool herself into believing it was a morning like any other morning. Just their normal routine. Sharing a bathroom. Trading off who got to use the shower and who got to brush their teeth. Arguing affably over whose turn it was to make coffee. 

Shutting off the tap, Dani pulled back the shower curtain to find Eddie standing before the sink and inspecting his neck in the mirror.

“You certainly had your way with me,” he said, touching the darkening bruise with his fingertips, head tilted back.

Face flushed scarlet, stomach seething unpleasantly, Dani mumbled, “Sorry.”

He grinned at her askance. “It’s fine. I just wasn’t expecting it, is all. It isn’t your usual style.”

No. Her usual style involved actively avoiding the act all together, and then, when she ran out of excuses, passively lying back and hoping he finished quickly. 

She made a motion towards the towel rack and Eddie handed her a fresh towel. After drying herself off, she stepped from the shower and wrapped the towel tightly around herself. He wore only a shirt, which he was now pulling over his head so he could slip by her to take his turn in the shower. Dani ducked to avoid a sharp elbow.

“Whoops,” Eddie grimaced apologetically, tucking his elbows back into his torso. “Close one.”

She tried to laugh, sounding breathless. 

He grinned, and as he stepped by her he placed a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Thanks for leaving some hot water for me.”

“Yeah,” she said, gripping the towel more tightly around herself. “Of course. I’ll - I’ll go make coffee.”

--

The school had banded together with the neighboring high school and had chosen the theme for this year's Halloween event, which was how Dani found herself allocated a costume for Dorothy. The red sequined shoes barely fit and the dress was too short for her liking. It was only an hour or so into the day's festivities, and already Dani found herself tugging time and time again at the hem in the vain hope that it might somehow stretch the blue and white gingham further towards her knees.

It was a brisk October afternoon and kids — already on a sugar high — were racing about in costume. A large section of the school grounds had been transformed overnight into a maze quadrantid off by bales of hay stacked high, while the back half of the school building itself was now a haunted house. All brick facade and creeping ivy and false cobwebs and fog machines pumping out a soupy mist across the grounds. It seemed that every group of children that passed through the fog was compelled to frolic in it, kicking up swirling clouds and swishing their red and black capes with great delight as the fog curled through the air. One child came scampering up to her, asking for a bottle of water, and she promptly pulled a mini bottle from the basket hung at the crook of her elbow for just that purpose.

"Thanks, Miss Clayton!" he said before racing off into the haunted house section with his friends. Dani waved after him with a distracted smile, her eyes scanning the grounds.

Eddie was manning a booth that gave out candy to students who had finished a series of easter egg hunts throughout the school grounds. He was dressed as a scarecrow, a ruff of straw wreathing his neck, wrists and ankles. As kids rallied to him, waving their slips of paper upon which they had marked off all the items they'd discovered, Eddie pretended to scratch his head over each one, pushing back his wide-brimmed straw hat and feigning stupidity as he attempted to read their lists upside down to a chorus of laughter and chiding from the students.

"He's good with them," said a voice beside her.

Dani started, turning around to find that Hannah had approached her from the main building. "What?" Dani asked dumbly.

Hannah, resplendent in a sparkling pink gown and tiara, gestured with her long star-pointed wand towards Eddie. "With the kids, I mean."

"Oh." Dani glanced back towards Eddie, who was good-naturedly fending off a group of kids from the enormous bag of chocolates and foil-wrapped sweets. He handed them out with a laugh in equal measure, small greedy hands reaching out to swipe them up the moment they were offered. Dani forced on a smile so broad it made her cheeks hurt. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah, he's - he's great. He'd make a good dad."

"Can't say that for many people," Hannah replied dryly.

Dani's laugh was strained. "No, I guess not. Definitely not sure if I'd make as good a mom."

Hannah gave her an odd look. "You're wonderful with kids, dear."

Dani opened her mouth to respond, but before she could speak another student ran up to her and asked if he could still use the bathrooms in the building or if there were portable units on the grounds somewhere. She crouched down to talk to him, sending him off towards the restrooms in the building. When she pushed herself upright once more, Dani turned to Hannah and asked, "Have you seen Jamie anywhere? It's just - I thought she said she was going to volunteer again."

Both dress and tiara sparkled whenever Hannah moved, the bright fabric a lush stark contrast to her dark skin. She tilted her head towards the maze and said, "Miss Taylor was adamant she be allowed to put her hands to work, so I set her to task in there. Last I saw, she was helping a few brawny gentlemen arrange some hay bales around the place."

"That sounds like her," Dani said. Then, seeing just how large the bales of hay were, she frowned and muttered, "She's going to throw her back out one of these days."

Hannah's smile was knowing. "Shall you go check and make sure she's still fit for purpose? Only, I'd hate for our newest and most ardent volunteer to be taken from the line of duty by hay. Bailed up, as it were."

Hannah said it with such a straight face that it took a moment for the pun to register. Dani scrunched up her nose. "Oh, Hannah,” she said somberly. “That was terrible."

Hannah laughed, then tapped Dani's elbow with the end of her wand. "Go on, then. I'll cover for you here."

Shooting her a grateful grin, Dani handed her the woven basket full of water bottles, keeping one for herself as she made her way across the field. Kids streamed around her in flocks. She cast a furtive glance towards Eddie to check if he'd noticed her movements, but he was too busy at his candy booth to take much notice beyond the children demanding his attention. With a tug at the hem of her skirt, Dani ducked her head and continued on.

Even with the sun overhead, the air was cool. Dani wrapped her arms around herself, wishing she had grabbed some sort of shawl to go with the outfit. The white stockings reaching her knees were a saving grace, but the back of her neck was exposed to the autumn air due to the pigtails she had pulled over her shoulders. Fog curled around her ankles as she strode through the entrance of the maze. Towering stacks of hay had been erected on either side like columns to which life-sized plastic skeletons had been hung. Uncarved pumpkins littered the ground at the corners, piled up here and there. 

Without any hesitation, Dani turned down the first fork. Glimmer of red through the mist as her feet carried her unerringly onward. The sounds of the outside world seemed to fade away in here, replaced instead by pre-recorded groans and wails, rattle of chains and spooky laughter fed through strategically located speakers that she spied nestled between pumpkins or ghosts strung from bits of wire. Dani met a dead end and had to turn around to backtrack. At one point she passed by a small group of kids, who shrieked in fearful delight and sprinted past without a word. She watched them go with a slight smile and found that they had been frightened off by a foam gargoyle painted to look like stone that snarled as she drew close, its eyes glowing red. Dani paused to inspect how it worked, poking around the back of the contraption to find the wires and clever sensors.

Hand slipping from the gargoyle's head, she continued on her way. She could hear the sounds of students talking loudly amongst themselves in a row over. Their voices faded when their paths branched apart, until it almost seemed Dani was alone in this place, adrift from space and time with pale walls standing stiffly upright, barricading her in with no exit in sight.

A low growl rumbled up ahead and Dani's footsteps slowed. Frowning, she stepped forward, leaning to one side to peer around a corner. She blinked in surprise when a person in a werewolf costume leapt out from behind a wall of hay, hands covered in rubber-tipped talons, face completely obscured behind a mask that had a ruff of black fur so wild it might have been a lion at one point. An old theatre prop, perhaps. Something recycled from the school's limited budget.

The werewolf lowered their claws and said, "What brings you round these parts, Poppins?"

Dani squinted, seeing a glint of familiar eyes through the holes in the mask. "Is that you, Jamie?"

Jamie's voice was muffled behind layers of rubber and faux fur. "Unfortunately. You would not believe how hot this thing is."

Dani bit her lower lip against a smile. "I was told you were building the maze not terrorizing it."

"None of those blokes could fit in here," said Jamie, gesturing with her paws to the wolf suit. "One too many pies."

Dani pointed with the water bottle. "I hate to break it to you, but I think it’s actually because the outfit was made for kids to wear on stage."

Jamie's head jerked back. "What exactly are you getting at?" she said, a low growl entering her voice.

"Well," said Dani, and she held out a hand to indicate Jamie's height. "If the shoe fits -"

"Finish that sentence. I dare you." Jamie tried to point a threatening finger at her, but the rubber gloves didn't have individual articulated fingers so it just looked like she was waving her hand through the air.

Dani laughed, but they both went silent and turned when they heard approaching footsteps and youthful voices.

"Here," hissed Jamie, waving Dani around the corner. "C'mon! Quickly now!"

"What?" Dani said, but followed her along until they were crowded into another dead end, surrounded by walls on three sides.  

“Gotta do the gig, Poppins. What do you take me for?”

“I hardly think Dorothy is cause for terror, Jamie.”

“Shh. They’re coming.”

Rolling her eyes, Dani went quiet nonetheless. A rubber claw was on her arm, holding her back, but Jamie's wolf mask was pointed in the direction of the voices coming their way, waiting for some unfortunate students to round the corner.

"Ready?" Jamie whispered. "On three. One. Two. Th -"

A shoe stepped into view and Jamie leapt forward with a theatrical snarl, hands raised about her ears to show off the rubber tipped claws. Two students — a boy and a girl, both far too old to be in any of Dani's classes — jumped back a step in surprise. The boy screamed, his voice high pitched, lifting his arms to cover his face, but the girl beside him recovered quickly. Her initial fright fell from her face, and she sighed.

"Calm down, Spence," she said, smacking his stomach lightly with the back of her hand. "It's only Dorothy and Toto."

At that, Jamie gave a very convincing growl from beneath the wolf mask, but the girl only scowled and pointed at Jamie. "Bad dog!" she scolded.

Jamie lowered her arms, and even though Dani couldn't see her face she appeared thoroughly put out. Meanwhile the girl turned to the boy and said, "I told you we should've just gone to the bleachers. Come on."

And without further ado, she grabbed his arm and hauled him back down the way they had come. Dani cleared her throat to disguise the laugh that threatened to escape, covering her mouth with her hand. Jamie turned, lifting her mask away and grumbling, "Well, that was embarrassing."

Beneath the mask, Jamie's cheeks were pink and bright. Dani shrugged and said, "I thought you were very scary."

"Yeah, well, I do my best." Peeling the mask completely free, Jamie chucked it to the ground before working on ridding herself of the paws. "Poor sod," she muttered. "Thought he was going to get lucky, but instead he ran into us."

Dani frowned. "What do you mean?"

Casting the paws atop the mask, Jamie jerked her thumb over her shoulder. "Didn't you hear that bit about the bleachers? Bet those two were aiming to have a good time, if you know what I mean."

Dani made a face. The last thing she liked thinking about was students engaging in those sorts of extracurricular activities. "You'd think they'd be more creative than the bleachers. I can't imagine you get much privacy there."

"Oh, you'd be surprised," Jamie said dryly. Her hair was plastered to her sweaty neck and forehead, and it was utterly distracting. Dani had lifted her hand to her mouth before she could realize what she was doing, teeth setting into the skin of her thumb. With a frown, she yanked her hand back down, crossing her arms.

"The bleachers?" Dani said, crinkling her nose. "Really?"

Jamie hummed around a crooked smile. "Best place, though?" she said and lowered her voice, glancing around covertly as though they might be overheard. "Definitely the old art room on the third floor. Always empty on Wednesdays and Fridays. You can get away with murder in there."

Dani’s mouth worked, but no noise came out; she struggled to imagine how Jamie could have known this information. And then she could imagine it. All too clearly. Jamie pressing her back against the wall of a darkened room surrounded by art supplies. Jamie ducking her head to mouth against her neck. Jamie's hands and Jamie's eyes and Jamie grinding up against her with heady reckless abandon. Stolen moments between classes. Fingers drifting beneath her skirt, rucking the fabric up her thighs.

"God, get me out of this bloody thing," Jamie grumbled, trying to reach for the zipper over her shoulder.

Dani started. She felt flushed and flustered. "Oh, uh -" she stammered.

Jamie had already turned around, groping around her back and looking thoroughly pathetic while doing so. "Bit of help here?" she asked.

Clearing her throat, Dani swallowed down the rise of heat in her stomach. She stepped forward and reached for the zipper that was caught midway between Jamie's shoulder blades. For a moment she hesitated to touch her — touching Jamie was dangerous, touching Jamie was incendiary and she was a box of tinder ready to go up in smoke — but then Dani gently nudged Jamie's hands aside so she could reach the zipper. She tugged it down. The teeth caught in clumps of faux fur that she had to brush aside in order to continue, and she revealed Jamie beneath, inch by inch.

Dani's mouth went dry. Beneath the suit, Jamie was wearing a white tank top and jean shorts that should have been criminalized. The peaks and troughs of Jamie's spine faintly gleamed with sweat in the low light, and Dani had to swallow back the image of licking a stripe along it to the base of her neck. Her hands were trembling by the time she dragged the zipper all the way down. She didn't realize she had been holding her breath until she stepped away and inhaled deeply, feeling faintly dizzy.

"Thanks," Jamie said, pushing the suit off her shoulders and lumbering free.

"Mmm," was the only response Dani could muster.

It should have helped. Earlier that morning. With Eddie. It was supposed to have helped. Taken off the edge. Looking at Jamie now felt like handling the wrong side of a knife. Dani had to skirt her eyes delicately around glimpses of Jamie for fear of being cut — the sweat-slicked curl of her hair, the tip of her throat back as she raked her hands through it, the cling of white fabric to her ribs, the sliver of skin revealed above her waistband, the ragged line of her too short jeans high against her thighs.

Dani was gripping the water bottle so tightly, it was a miracle the top didn't go flying off into the grass. Jamie turned, free of the suit and looking utterly divine in a slant of afternoon light; she pointed towards the bottle in Dani's hands and asked, "Don't suppose you can spare a drop for me?"

Flustered, Dani shoved the bottle of water into Jamie's hands. The brisk October air had been too cold not long ago, but now Dani shrugged against a prickle of heat between her shoulder blades, desperately wishing she had worn something lighter. 

Jamie had unscrewed the water bottle and tipped it back, throat working as she drank. Dani watched the line of her neck, lips parted, until Jamie lowered the water bottle with a gasp of relief and a murmured, “Cheers.”

When she tried to hand the half-finished bottle back to her, Dani held up her hands. “Oh, no. It’s all yours.” 

She didn’t screw the top back on, and instead fiddled with it in her free hand. Jamie’s cheeks were still flushed, though whether it was from the chill in the air or the lingering heat of the costume, Dani could not tell. Jamie’s gaze roved over her as though she were getting a proper look at her for the first time without the mask. 

“That’s quite a dress,” said Jamie with a long fading wolf-whistle. 

Dani grimaced and tugged at the hem again. “Yeah. The outfit only came in one size.”

“Who picked the theme this year?” 

“One of the parents, I think?” Dani said. “It went to a vote, or something. I don’t know, exactly. Hannah’s the one who handles all that kind of thing, bless her heart.”

“Well,” Jamie eyed the length of Dani’s skirt or rather lack thereof, “Can’t complain.”

At a loss for words, Dani gave the hem one final tug, then curled her hands into fists to keep herself from fidgeting. Lifting the bottle to her mouth once more for a sip, Jamie smirked around it at her. Mouth full of water, Jamie gestured to her with the bottle, swallowing before she asked, “So, what brings you to my corner of the world?”

“Just,” Dani laughed briefly, nervously, “Just wanted to make sure everything was all right. And to thank you for volunteering. Again.”

“Not a problem,” said Jamie. “Feel like I should do my guardian duty, or whatever. And if that involves me dressing up as a wolf man and playing tiddlywinks, then -” she shrugged, grinning, “- so be it.”

“Well, if you need another player, then -” 

“I’ll be sure to give you a ring,” Jamie said dryly.

“I can’t promise it’ll be more fun than the third floor art room. Or the bleachers, apparently,” Dani said and she hoped her smile appeared genuine and not as jittery as she felt.

Jamie raised an eyebrow. “You and Ed really never went around campus and -?” her voice trailed off suggestively and she made an explicit motion with the water bottle.

Dani shook her head, ears burning. “God, no.”

“Not an adventurous bone in your body. The lot of you,” Jamie sighed, sounding vaguely disappointed. “C’mon, then. Let’s go.” She gestured for Dani to follow her and as she turned away she lifted the water bottle to her lips for another sip.

“To the third floor art room?” Dani blurted out incredulously.

Jamie choked. She lowered the bottle and had a coughing fit into her hand. By the time she had finished, she was red in the face and screwing the cap back onto the bottle. “I meant -” she said, wheezing slightly. She thumped her chest, then spoke more clearly, “I meant just - out there. In general.”

“Oh. Right,” Dani said. “Right. Of course. Do we go -?” 

She made a motion to back track the way she had come, but Jamie shook her head. “No need for that. This way.” 

Climbing halfway up the wall, Jamie fished around the top until she found a pair of wooden handled bale hooks. After dropping back down to the ground, she hefted the hooks in both hands and began swiftly dismantling a section of the wall, dragging bales down one by one until there was a gap wide enough for them to comfortably walk through. Jamie bent over to pick up the discarded costume, suit dangling from one of the hooks over one shoulder, she jerked her head towards the exit. “You coming?”

Dani tugged at the hem of her skirt. Every step seemed to make the fabric ride higher up her thighs until she gripped the cloth between both hands to keep it in place as she walked. “Really wish I’d had enough time to lengthen this,” she muttered under her breath. Her sewing skills weren’t anything to call home about, but she’d had enough practise to not be completely terrible — darning Eddie’s clothes, adding patches to the faded elbows of his favourite sweaters. 

Jamie laughed. “It does look like you’re trying to scandalize a few parents.”

“Is it working?” 

Jamie’s answering grin was slow, her eyes measuring the distance between Dani’s hem and Dani’s knees. “Wouldn’t know,” she said finally. “I’m not a parent.”

Dani had to swallow back an answering tightness in her throat. She glanced towards the partially dismantled wall of the maze behind them and said, “Do we need to put it back?”

Jamie made a considering noise before replying, “Fuck it. Let one of the others worry about that. Left me here to fend off a pack of savage teenagers by myself, the gutless bastards."

Dani's laugh was startled but real. "They can be quite a handful when they're older, it's true."

Jamie watched her with a warm gaze, looking pleased with herself for making her laugh. "They can. I remember those days myself. Very well, in fact."

"Not sure if any of these cases are quite so dire," Dani said. She jogged forward a few steps to catch up to Jamie so that the two of them walked side by side. "Can you imagine if Mikey snuck off in the middle of the night to throw toilet paper rolls over the neighbor's house?"

"That was one time," Jamie grumbled.

"Or what about stealing Nan’s truck to sneak into a bar in Des Moines with a fake ID?"

"All right, all right. You've made your point. I was a bad kid."

Jamie was smiling but it did not reach her eyes. Dani reached out, curling her fingers around Jamie's narrow wrist to bring her to a halt. Jamie stopped, looking at her in confusion. They had been walking along the outer perimeter of the maze, and the walls of straw and hay still shielded them from the rest of the grounds. Jamie's skin was warm to the touch — she had always run to the warm side, hot-blooded as they come. Dani should have let her go, should not have tempted herself so, but she traced her thumb over the tendons of Jamie's inner wrist and thought — hoped — that she felt the leap of a pulse beneath. Or perhaps that was just her own heartbeat, a rapid bruit in her chest.

"No," Dani said softly. "You were a wonderful kid. I was just - I was only teasing."

For a moment Jamie seemed at a loss for words. Then, she shook her head with a wry grin. "I know," she said, but it sounded like a lie. "It's fine. I know."

Dani retracted her hand too quickly, snatching it back to grip the hem of her gingham skirt. Jamie's eyes followed the movement, and Dani could see her chewing on the inside of her cheek. Then, Jamie cocked her head and took a step in the direction they had been walking. "Shall we?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course."

They continued along, rounding the final stretch of the maze's perimeter until they reached the front entrance. Kids were still trickling inside in packs, but most roved the lawn or otherwise made their way through the school turned haunted mansion. Some were getting their faces painted by the school's only art teacher, who had a line of students waiting by her booth. Eddie stood before his own booth, shrugging apologetically at a group of kids and bouncing the empty sack of candy up and down in his hand.

His head lifted, scanned the area, and even from this distance Dani could see the way his face lit up when he caught sight of them. Dani steeled herself upon his approach, straightening her shoulders and tugging at the hem of her skirt. 

Leaning closer, Jamie said under her breath, “You dress him in that?”

Dani blinked at her, then looked at Eddie’s scarecrow outfit. “Yes. Why?”

Jamie shook her head but she looked like she was trying to hold back a laugh. “No reason. Just very fitting, isn’t it?”

“Be nice,” Dani murmured.

“I’m always nice.”

Dani was about to call her out for being a liar, but Eddie’s stride was long-legged and swift and he stood before them with a broad smile. “Hey, you two. Having a good time?”

“As much as I can,” Jamie answered. “Never really understood Halloween, myself. Very American holiday. Good honest folk should be burning effigies of Catholics this time of year instead. But the kid loves it, so -” she broke off with a shrug. “Needs must.”

“Where is Mikey? I haven’t seen him all day.” Dani asked.

“Dunno. Cut out some eyeholes in a sheet for his ghost costume this morning, and haven’t seen him since.”

Dani gave her a look. “Jamie.”

Rolling her eyes, Jamie said, “I’m sure he’s having a good time with friends and not with his big sister sticking her nose into his business every five seconds.”

“Please tell me you got him a better costume than that.”

Jamie looked sheepish as she scratched at the back of her head. 

“Oh, no,” Dani murmured. She turned to Eddie. “Does your mom still have some of your old costumes at her place?”

Eddie frowned. “Probably? She tends to keep that kind of stuff in the basement. Always gives me the creeps going down there and seeing our old action figures and costume masks and stuff all piled up in the corner.” 

“Perfect.” Dani said, pointing at Jamie. “You can go around to Judy’s and have Mikey pick out a decent costume for trick or treating tonight.”

Jamie stared at her. “Seriously? Do you want to give the kid a costume or nightmares?”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Piles of costume masks and action figures?” Jamie repeated, incredulous. “Might as well have said there’s haunted Victorian dolls down there. Christ.”

“Yeah, I’m with her on this one,” Eddie said, jerking his thumb towards Jamie, who made a gesture as if to say ‘thank you.’

“Cowards,” Dani said, shaking her head. “The both of you.”

Jamie appeared utterly unruffled by this accusation. On the other hand, Eddie gave a bashful laugh and ducked his head. He scratched at the ruff of straw at his neck, pulling it away slightly to reveal the hickey bright and broad and bold against his skin. 

“Good night?” Jamie asked, grinning and pointing at his neck with the now empty water bottle.

Beside her Dani went bright red and found the grass beneath their feet endlessly interesting. 

“Uh -” said Eddie.

Clearing her throat, Dani crossed her arms and said pointedly to him, “You - uh - Did you run out of candy?”

She ignored the way Jamie was watching them. She didn’t want to look at her, didn’t want to see the expression on Jamie’s face, didn’t want to know what she was thinking. 

“Yeah,” said Eddie. He made a motion over his shoulder back towards the booth he had been manning all afternoon. “The kids cleaned me out. Do you know if I need to get more, or -?”

Dani nodded. “I’ll go find Hannah and talk to her.”

“Great. Thanks.”

Despite her words, Dani did not move. She felt rooted in place, as though the earth had risen up and grasped her by the ankles, holding her fast. A heavy awkward silence had settled over them, disturbed only by the sounds of gaggles of students passing around them and the pre-recorded screams and moans from the nearby maze. 

“Right. Well,” Jamie finally said, knocking the water bottle against her own thigh. “I’ll be off, then. Got a costume I need to pick up, apparently.”

“Right,” Dani repeated, relieved, already taking a halting step towards the building and away from them. “Yeah. I’ll - uh -”

Jamie was backing away, bringing the bottle up to her brow in a mocking sort of salute. “Yeah. ‘Course. Catch you both later.” 

Dani didn’t wait to see her go. With one last parting wave in Eddie and Jamie’s general direction, she headed off towards the main school building. The flush had spread along her neck and ears, and she gripped the edges of the skirt so tightly between her fists she could feel the material crumple between her fingers. She couldn’t think of a time she walked so fast in her life.

She found Hannah speaking with one of the contractors out by the parking lot. The man was nodding thoughtfully, listening to her speak. When Hannah saw Dani walking towards her, she gave the man a gentle pat on the arm, and he inclined his head before rounding the back of his truck for more supplies.

Dani waited a few polite paces away until they’d finished their conversation, during which time her stomach twisted itself into knots. It felt as though it was trying to eat itself like a live snake.

“Everything all right, dear?” Hannah asked, brow furrowed in faint concern.

“Yeah,” Dani choked out. “Yeah. Everything’s - Everything’s great.” 

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Secrets ~ 2

Warnings: noncon sexual acts later in series

This is dark!Bucky and dark!Steve and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: A buried family secret comes to light thrusting you to the forefront of an old alliance.

Note: Last night I got some not so nice comments about me and I know it doesn’t really matter but considering I have to work on my bday tomorrow and everything is just mounting and mounting up, I don’t know how much writing I’ll be doing. It could be a lot or a little. But thankful to have those who care, you guys, cheering me on.

Thank you. Love you guys!

As always, if you can, please leave some feedback, like and reblog <3

You went on like nothing had changed. It hadn’t. You weren’t leaving to marry some stranger. Some outdated prince in his crumbling castle. You studied the past, you didn’t want to live in it.

You went to class. Numb. Your anger slaked away as you jotted your notes and tried to ignore the tugging in your chest. Three classes, a coffee in between the second and the third, then you were due at the bookstore for the closing shift.

It was late enough in the year that the customers weren’t so many. You paced the aisles and asked students if they needed help. Few did as they perused the shelves and wandered, almost aimlessly so. Danica was on the till, though you took turns between sorting through the table of discount paperbacks left disordered by curious shoppers.

Only twenty minutes before close and you were near the back of the store, sweeping. Your path was blocked however as you turned in the far aisle. That man, Mr. Barnes, stood by the wall of rucksacks and hoodies, pretending to be interested. Given the fine cut of his suit and the polish of his shoes, you doubted he needed or wanted the campus-branded clothing.

You kept at your work. You got closer and continued to sweep, knocking his heels with the broom as you grumbled a grizzly ‘excuse me’. He chuckled and stepped aside, turning to watch you as you tried to ignore him.

“Your highness,” He said.

“Don’t call me that,” You huffed as you lifted the dustpan and it folded up against the stick. “What are you doing here?”

“My duty.” He said lightly. “I was sent by your fiance to keep an eye on you. To bring you back to him.” He glanced around and slid a magazine from the rack. “To free you of this boring mediocrity.” He flipped through the pages. “You don’t belong here, Duchess.”

He folded back the magazine and turned it to face you. He held it out and you scowled. He waved it impatiently and you sighed as you stepped closer to look. A man, tall, blonde, austere, leaned against an expensive sports car, a mansion behind him, akin to Versailles, as he gazed nonchalantly into the camera. The headline floated beside him; ‘A King for our Times’”

You recognized him. You’d seen him, as most people had; on the news, in tabloids, on questionable gossip blogs. You’d never paid much attention to him or those royals who existed beyond their means. You scoffed and shrugged.

“Am I supposed to be impressed?” Your lip curled.

“Your feelings don’t really matter,” He closed the magazine and put it back. “The contract stands.”

“You came all this way on the back of a paper signed by a dead king of a dead nation?” You shook your head. “Is your king that desperate?”

His jaw squared and he swallowed. “You think this makes you better than him? This… existence?”

“A life I earned,” You retorted. “I doubt he or you know very much about that.”

“And how much do you know of duty? Obligation? A purpose beyond your own selfish needs?”

“Selfish?” You rolled your eyes. “Sir. We’re closing. You need to leave.”

He tilted his head and grinned. His tongue poked out along his lip and he chuckled.

“Your highness,” He bowed his head. “Until tomorrow.”

He stepped closer and you turned to let him past.

“Don’t bother,” You said to his back as you watched him near the end of the aisle. “I’m not going. Tell him to find someone else.”

He stopped and pushed back his shoulders. He said nothing, just stood there a moment before he continued on. The electronic ding signaled his departure and you let out the breath that had stuck in your chest. 

You clutched the broom and dustpan in one hand and grabbed the magazine from beside you. You went to the counter where Danika was balancing the till.

“Hey,” You leaned the broom and pan against the counter. “I wanna buy this.”

“Just take it.” She shrugged. “With our discount, it might as well be free.”

You nodded and took it, bending it under your arm.

“Anything else besides cleaning?” You asked.

“Nah,” She counted out the last of the pennies. “Go on. I’ll close up.”

👑

You sat on your bed, the glow of your small lamp the only light. After an hour of tossing and turning, you surrender to wakefulness. You stared at the magazine, the glossy cover reflected the light beside you. You sank back into your pillows and picked at the pages until you found the one. You opened the magazine and stared at the man; the king; the strange. Fiance?

He was handsome, sure, but even in a picture, he seemed haughty. There was an arrogance to his shoulder, the way he leaned on the white hood, how he appeared to look down his nose at the lens even while standing on the same level. You flipped the page and began to read. 

A short blurb introduced him as the King of Astrania, once the playboy prince, but, as the article claimed, matured by the throne. You recalled the gossip of those days, yourself barely a teen then. One night, he had a socialite on his arm, the next an actress, next a singer, a model…

‘You’ve done so much. Anything still on the list?’ The interviewer lobbed another softball question.

‘Lots.’ The king answered. ‘I think my mother would be relieved to hear me say I think it’s past time I found a wife. A queen.’

‘You’re going to break a lot of hearts, your majesty.’

‘I’ve had my fun. Maybe too much. If I’m to serve my people, I’ll need someone at my side.’

You lowered the magazine and frowned at the ceiling. You pushed the pages off your chest and rolled over to turn off the lamp. You pulled the pillow over your head and squeezed your eyes shut. The thought of being bound to man so opposite yourself made you want to scream but you were too tired for that.

👑

You still didn’t know what to say to your mother. Your whole life was a lie. Not a lie you hated which was worse because the truth threatened to undo it all. When you went to the kitchen to get your coffee, she was there, waiting, a mug ready for you. You didn’t say more than thanks as you took and returned to your room.

You readied yourself for another day. Thursday. The last two days felt like weeks.  You packed up your bag and left through the front door, avoiding your mother who watched you from the kitchen. What were you supposed to tell her? It’s okay you lied to me, it’s okay you don’t want to fight, it’s okay to barter me away before I was even born? None of it was okay.

You reached the end of the walk and a man in a black suit stepped into your path. You stopped short and tried to pass him. Another man, in the same suit, black jacket, black tie, black everything, blocked you again. You turned the other way and found yourself box in by Mr. Barnes. He crossed his arms as he smiled at you.

“You’re off early.” He said.

“I have class.” You sneered and once more tried to make your way around the men. They moved with you, forming a wall. “Get out of my way.”

“The king wants me back before the end of the week. I can’t return empty-handed.”

“I don’t care what your king wants. I have class, work--”

“The jet is charted for three,” He checked his watch. “We have lots of time to pack.”

“You’re not--” You sputtered. “No.”

You looked back at your house. Your mouth stood in the door as she watched. She looked sad, broken. You grimaced at her.

“I told you I’m not going,” You tried to shove past Barnes and the other men grabbed your arms, your bag flopping to the ground. “Hey, let me go.”

“Your highness, my king did permit us reasonable force in our duty,” Barnes said evenly. “And to this point, I have restrained from it.”

“Hey,” Your mother swept through the door and stormed towards the men. “Don’t! Let her go! You’ll hurt her.”

“There is a seat for you on the jet too, Princess,” Barnes offered. “It’s only fitting the mother of the bride should attend the wedding.”

“Get off!” You kicked out and Barnes moved out of the way. “Off!”

“Astrania favours tradition.” He continued. “And it is not unheard for brides to be brought in chains. I’d rather not be so medieval.”

“I don’t wanna go! No!” You continued to struggle. Your mother grabbed at one of the men and was swiftly shaken off. “Stop!”

“Get her inside. The princess, too.” Barnes order.

One man hooked his arms through yours and held them behind you as the other seized your mother. You were turned and forced back down the walk, growling and grunting as you were pushed up the porch steps. Your mother whimpered as she was held by the back of her neck and angled through the front door ahead of you.

Inside, the door clattered and the thicker one was closed and locked. Barnes led the way into the living room and pointed to the couch.

“Princess,” He ordered and your mother was pushed onto the sofa. “Bring the duchess here.”

He beckoned to the hallway and strode ahead of you. Your shoulders ached as you tried and tried to wrench yourself away. Barnes looked in doors until he found your room. You were taken inside as he peered around.

“Cuff her,” He said. “Put her on the bed.”

He turned you and pushed you down onto the mattress. He released your arms as he pinned your down with his knee in your back and you reached back blindly to claw at him. He caught your wrists and held them together, securing them with a pair of thick cuffs before he got off of you. You rolled over and kicked out. Barnes caught your ankle and squeezed until you groaned in pain.

“The king would prefer a bride without a broken foot,” He warned. “But he will accommodate it, should he need to.”

He threw your leg down gruffly and nodded to the man. The other left and you sat up awkwardly, your arms trapped behind you. You stood and Barnes quickly pushed you back down.

“I’ve been nice. Patient.” He said. “But I don’t have time for this.” He pointed his finger in your place. “Perhaps your mother didn’t tell you how these things work or maybe you just didn’t listen. This isn’t a proposal, Duchess. Not a choice.”

You snapped at his finger and he drew away quickly. He smirked and scoffed and shoved you back roughly.

“Keep it up and I’ll have you strapped down.” He snarled. 

You slowly sat up, glaring at him, but didn’t go further. “Fuck you.” You spat.

His eyes rounded then he snickered again. 

“Oh, there’s a lot to work on, Duchess. That mouth, first of all,” He turned and pulled open the sliding door of your closet. “Ugh, and…” He touched a wool sweater. “And these, most of all.”

The man in black reappeared with a suitcase, the other faded leather dug up from the linen closet. He slapped it down on the bed beside you and flipped it open. He went to stand in the door, blocking it with his wide frame.

“Duchess, future queens, do not wear…” He held up a jacket. “Tweed.”

You growled, fighting the urge to kick him. You couldn’t reach and the cuffs kept you off-balance.

“We’ll take enough for the time being but… we’ll have to bring in some stylists,” He dropped an armful of clothes into the suitcase. “For…” He looked you up and down. “Everything.”

“You can’t do this,” You snarled.

“I can. I am.” He insisted as he tucked in the corners of the clothing. “That’s what you don’t seem to understand. I can do whatever I want. I have an order from the king and I have diplomatic authority. Now, I have been nice so far, I will even allow your mother to accompany you.”

“No,” You hissed. “No, leave her here.”

“Leave her?” He asked.

“It’ll be easier.” You lowered your chin. “For both of us.”

He was quiet. He nodded and stepped away. He went to the attached bathroom and returned with your pouch of essentials. 

“We can make up for whatever we forget,” He dropped it atop the open suitcase. “Anything in particular I’ve missed, duchess?”

“Beyond human decency?” You challenged.

He laughed once more and closed the suitcase. 

“It’s a long flight,” He said. “And it’ll be longer with those.” He tugged on the cuffs. “Hopefully it gives you time to think.”

He zipped up the bag and handed it to the man in black. Then he grabbed you and lifted you onto your feet. He guided you from the room with his hand on your wrists. Your mother sat, the other man staring her down, and looked over as you entered.

“Please, don’t take her. Please.” She begged as she tried to stand only to be nudged back by her watcher. “You can’t--”

“Princess, you know you can’t stop us.” Barnes said. “And your daughter has made up her mind. You will stay.” He bent to look her in the eyes. “You get your wish. Stay in your exile, pretending, playing at normalcy.”

“I’ll go,” She pleaded. “Let me go.” She leaned over and looked around him at you. “Don’t leave me here. I’ll come with you. I’ll-- I’ll-- you’re my daughter--”

“And you lied to me.” You sniffed. “You did this. Why would I want you to come?”

“I’m your mother.” She uttered.

“You’re the Princess of Ecklun. It was written there on that paper.” You sneered. “In your hand. I have to live with what you’ve done but it doesn’t mean I have to live with you.”

You turned your head up and held back the sudden wave of sadness which swelled in you. Everything you knew was just a lie. Your own mother. Your only family. She’d sold you like cattle. If she had warned you, maybe you could have stayed hidden. If she had warned you, maybe you wouldn’t be so unprepared. If she had warned you…

“Well,” You looked at Barnes. “Are we going?”

He stepped away from your mother and took your arm. “No goodbyes?”

“She signed her farewell a long time ago,” You said and turned away from her. “She’s had years to prepare for this. Years she stole from me.”

[carelessannie]

Because I have no patience, here’s the first chapter of my three part Reverse Little Mermaid Winteriron AU

while we're devoting full time to floating chapter one: floating in a blue lagoon

Rating: T (for now) Word Count: 3.5K Relationships: Tony x Bucky, background Natasha x Wanda Warnings: Prejudice against Merpeople, Steve’s kind of an ass, boat violence, magic use Read on AO3

Chapter One | Chapter Two

---

Spring-time has broken— making way, quickly, for a blazing summer. Celebratory music carries from the interior of the city, echoing from the palace in the center all the way out to the surrounding villages, drawing citizens closer— like moths to a joyful flame. Heading in the opposite direction, unseen by guards and villagers, two silhouettes slip toward the shoreline.

Up ahead is an expansive boathouse, accessible only by royal decree and permission from the crown. Bucky lifts up on his toes to check through the window for officers or other sailors— no one in sight. His key easily unlocks the door and he holds it open for Alpine to sprint through.

Bucky pads across the dock, heading for his humble fishing boat and checking for guards, whistling low between his fingers to call his Border Collie to his side. Alpine comes bounding over, shaking out her pure white coat, and pants, eyes wide with excitement.

“Quiet, Alpine,” he hisses, motioning to stay low, “almost there, girl.”

Towards the end of the dock, he can see his boat. Restored over years of hard work, The Widow sits proudly at the end of the line, beckoning him to sail away. He helps Alpine climb inside and makes haste to cast off, pushing away from the dock and dipping his oars into the gentle waves.

The sun is hot, but Bucky doesn’t mind it. His gaze is locked ahead and his focus is sure. The waters are quiet as he rows out into the open ocean, letting the current push him parallel to the coastline and away from the village.

It’s not like he’s running away— no. He just knows his brother would stop him if he knew, and it’s far too close to migration to wait another day.

After a while, he sees the cove— his favorite spot, sheltered under a familiar rocky cliff— and steers towards it. Once he’s close, Bucky tethers the boat to a nearby boulder. He helps Alpine out and climbs up the jagged rocks, settling over the water.

Here he adjusts his covering and removes a few flat stones, revealing provisions he stored long ago in a discreet iron box. Bucky lays on his belly, wiggling until he can peak over the edge.

Then he waits.

It doesn’t take long. With lenses pressed to his face, his enhanced view picks up movement below. Three large figures, cutting gracefully through the crystal clear water, swim into focus. Bucky holds his breath, taking only a moment to scrawl a few details onto his journal pages. Remarkable.

He watches the Merpeople hesitantly explore the cove underneath and talk animatedly between each other. Bucky only hears snippets of conversations as they surface, and it seems like a dark haired, red-tailed Mer is their leader. The other two— the first with bright red hair, and the second with darker skin— follow the red-tailed Mer around the shallow waters, inspecting rocks and plant life, talking distractedly about a settlement nearby.

“These waters are clear, no remnants left from past colonies.”

Bucky knows this already. He’s been observing Mer migration patterns for years, and none of them ever stay long enough to impact the nearby ecosystems. Still, he jots down a note about their self awareness.

“Still, the access to resources and deeper waters is desirable in this area.”

This Bucky knows as well. Outside of the cove and the surrounding reef, there’s a steep drop off down into unexplored waters. He’s tried to swim down a few times, but hasn’t yet found the floor.

Finally the red-tailed Mer speaks, he voice deep and alluring, causing Bucky’s head to snap up in surprise—

“I’m sure the King would be thrilled to hear of this discovery,” he drawls, and something in his tone convinces Bucky that this King would decidedly not be pleased. “Take a few samples, keep them close. I’ll study them in my lab when we get back and present them to the King myself.”

Bucky has to stop himself from chuckling. He understands exactly how this Mer feels about his King, and he’s instantly endeared. He can’t, for the life of him, tear his gaze from the red-tailed Mer. The man is striking, beautiful and full of life, and Bucky has never seen one like him before. His body is lean and toned like most Mers tend to be, but something about his posture screams authority and importance. He sighs, knowing the three of them will probably move on, migrate further south and into warmer waters.

He pulls away to take a drink from his water flask and sees a flash in the corner of his eye. Something approaching— fast and dangerous. The Mers below are oblivious, and the next thing he knows, they’re being circled and cornered by three, large Tiger sharks.

Bucky gets to his knees, gripping the rocks as he watches the sharks close in, forcing the Mers to press together a few meters in front of the cove.

The largest shark attacks. It’s a flurry of motion and violent waters as the other two follow suit, converging on the Mers from all sides. It seems as though each Mer fights a single shark, and they draw vicious, serrated weapons to slice through the water.

But the Tiger sharks are quick. The largest one whips, lightning fast, and catches the red-tailed Mer in the chest, sending him careening into the rocky wall. The other two Mers are chased away. They dodge and swim through the shallow waters and disappear out of sight to avoid the close pursuing sharks. Bucky glances down, watching in horror as the largest shark closes in on his prey below.

The red-tailed Mer isn’t moving, and the shark is swimming closer. Bucky scrambles, picking up his own hunting knife, and stripping off his shirt and boots before diving off the cliff.

His attack takes the shark by surprise, and Bucky plunges into the water, striking clean and slicing through the predator. Blood pours out of the open wound and Bucky has to surface, gulping in air as he watches the shark retreat.

He sheaths his weapon and turns, looking for the injured Mer. Bucky dives down and sees him drifting against the rocky wall, propped up and unconscious. When Bucky gets closer he finds blood, fresh and urgent, seeping out of the Mer’s wound— dead center on his chest.

Without hesitating, Bucky pulls the Mer up to the surface. He swims, slowly but effectively, back to the cove and rests against the rocky shore, letting the vibrant tail hydrate in the water.

“Hey,” Bucky looks into the man’s face, gently pushing back a thick strand of dark hair, “wake up, please. C’mon, I need you to wake up.”

The wound is still bleeding, slower than before, but persistently trickling down into the pool of water.

“Okay, okay… dammit,” Bucky curses, “stay here,” he instructs, mostly for his own sake, and sprints out of the cove, climbing the rock face to retrieve his shirt and a few supplies. Herbs and spices can usually make a good potion, even for inexperienced users— which Bucky definitely isn’t . He rubs a few together in his hands as he ducks back into the cove, kneeling next to the unmoved Mer. Gently, so gently, Bucky presses his fingers against his skin to rub the potion into the wound, wrapping it tenderly with strips of his own shirt after.

The Mer groans, hunching in to protect the wound instinctively.

“No, darling, let me heal it,” Bucky begs, laying the man down again while he works. He looks around. It would help if there was...

Aha! A golden ring dangles from the Mer’s neck, a perfect vessel for a healing spell. Bucky slips the ring on his own finger, taking a deep breath before performing the spell. It’s taxing. It hurts. But Bucky can see the ring glow and flex on his finger, accepting the enchantment and waiting for it’s impending assignment.

The ring is laid back on the Mer’s chest, still attached with the delicate chain, and Bucky is satisfied when he sees the wounds rapidly closing. He sighs in relief, holding the Mers hand and feeling the delicate pulse even out. He wishes he could see the man’s eyes, at least once. Damn the King and his stupid laws.

Movement, stirring from the Mer, and Bucky knows he must go. He can’t help but lean closer, studying the breathtaking features of this man’s face and pressing a lingering kiss onto his temple, before withdrawing and racing for his boat. He whistles for Alpine to join him, and takes off for the village. He’s been away far too long, and the King is bound to have noticed his absence.

---

“Do you know what you have done?”

The King, his brother, is fuming— full of violent rage that even Bucky shys away from. He had pulled Bucky off his boat the moment he returned, ordering the guards to seize him and The Widow for crimes against the crown.

“And to see the Merpeople again, I should have known. How could you, Buck? Openly disregarding my decree and putting all of our people in jeopardy— for what? Research?”

“He was dying!”

“Better him than another one of us.”

Bucky recoils, “You don’t mean that. The Mers have always been peaceful—“

“And that’s because they are ignorant of our existence— dammit Buck! What if he had seen you?”

“He didn’t.”

“And he won’t.”

“What does that mean?” Bucky asks, daring to look his brother in the eye. All he finds is cool indifference.

“It means that until further notice, I’m confiscating your traveling privileges. You will serve in my court and retire to your chambers, guarded as to not leave the grounds— is that clear?”

“Steve, what the hell—“

“You may keep the company of your dog,” the King, his brother and best friend, sets his jaw and points towards Bucky’s beloved boat, “but as a consequence for disgracing your King and country, my guard will take care of your transportation.”

“No!” Bucky cries, fighting the strong hold on his arms as two members of the royal guard unceremoniously drop a torch into his boat, setting it on fire. “Damn you, Steve!”

They let him struggle, thrashing and yelling to no avail, and the crowd watches as his most prized possession is burned to ashes. Bucky falls to his knees, speechless.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the King retreat, walking out of sight without even the courtesy of a dismissal. His vision blurs red.

Steve never listens.

The guards haul him up by the armpits, but Bucky barely even notices. He lets himself be dragged away and led back to his quarters, collapsing onto his bed with a sob as they lock the doors behind him. He feels Alpine crawl up next to him, and he holds her close, soaking her fur with heaving, furious tears.

When the sun goes down, Bucky packs a bag. It’s not an issue to find a way out of the palace— he’s been doing that for years. The issue is tracking down his contact, making sure she still lives across the bay, and convincing her to help him. Her allegiance is strong with the King, but he thinks he might have the upperhand to a few of her debts.

Bucky drops a quick kiss to Alpine’s head, tying a note around her collar. It won’t help to have her starving and the kingdom torn apart in his absence, so he quickly charms the letter to sooth and calm it’s readers. That should give him enough time to evade any search and rescue.

From there, it’s a simple shimmy out the window, a well-timed jump across a few balconies, light-footed paces through empty streets, and then, thankfully, a straightforward hike out of the city. The sun has long since set. Bucky pushes forward, ignoring the increasing chill as he climbs in elevation— his destination is just up ahead.

Before he crosses into her wards, Bucky comes to a stop. He searches the ground for… yes! A small ring of stones lies around her cottage, strengthening her security and vigil over her land, and Bucky kneels in front of them, gently laying his fingers on the ones nearby. It only takes a moment of letting his walls down, power flowing down his arms and into his hands, and he smiles to feel a warm thrum in response. The wards accept his familiar presence, and he stands to make his way to the cottage that lies behind the tree covering.

“You had better have a good excuse to be here, James.”

He hears her greeting before he spots her in the doorframe, curves silhouette tantalizing and a stark contrast from the light within the house. He smiles, picking up his pace and running forward, “Oh, Nat. Damn, if it isn’t good to see you.”

Natasha lets him swing her up into his arms, but gives a stinging flick to his ear.

“I’ve already heard of your transgressions, James. When will you just accept your brother’s rule, and learn that his word is law?”

Bucky sweeps into the cottage and leads the way to her personal rooms. It seems as though someone else has been living in this space— there’s another, strong, trace of magic intertwined with Natasha’s. He ignores her implications and raises an eyebrow, “Who are you hosting, Nat?”

The grin Natasha throws him is downright feral, and Bucky almost regrets asking. She brings her fingers up to her lips and whistles, brief and sharp.

“Her name is Wanda, she will join us momentarily,” Natasha pours him herbal tea, gesturing for them to sit in the living space. He allows himself to put his bag down, but he lets himself fidget a little bit— cataloging his urgency to his friend and trusting her to pick up his unspoken needs. “Tell me, pretty Prince— why are you seeking me out after such drama, at this time of night?”

He frowns at her moniker, but decides to give it to her straight, “Steve’s bias has gotten out of hand. I witnessed an exploration party of three Mers out by my cove, and there was a shark attack. The leader of their party was knocked unconscious, so I intervened to stop the shark from killing him. I had to swim him to safety, Nat, and I enchanted his ring with a healing spell. I left before he could wake up, and when I got back…” Bucky breathes, breaking his eye contact with Natasha, “well, it sounds like you’ve heard the rest.”

Her face falls in a genuine show of regret, “I’m really sorry, James, I know how much—”

“It’s fine,” he cuts her off, “I just need help convincing Steve that Mers are worth protecting. He just sees them as a threat, and he hates their ignorance about us. He doesn’t trust it. But they’re incredible, Nat, honestly. And this one I saw today… damn.”

Her eyes gleam, mischievous, “Oh? You have a crush on the Mer you saved and healed with your magic— how surprising.”

“Shut it, Nat,” he hisses, rolling his eyes as she cackles, “I’ve never seen a man so beautiful in my life. And, I don’t know, something about how he spoke, his voice and his humor—”

“James, I hate you.”

“— excuse me?”

“I now owe Clint a very large sum because of you.”

When Bucky fails to react, Natasha just sighs, “He bet you’d fall in love with a Mer. I just didn’t think you were that stupid.”

“Hey! I’m not in love—”

“Sure, Jay,” she laughs, turning to face the back stairwell as Bucky throws a pillow at her, “oh! Wanda! Please, come in and meet James.”

Standing at the bottom of the staircase is a petite girl, maybe a few years younger than Bucky himself, with auburn hair that rivals Natasha’s in brilliance. He can feel her power from here. A shiver runs down his spine.

She’s careful to walk into the room, as though any sudden movement may set off a catalyst of magic strong enough to rip the room apart. And he honestly doesn’t doubt that could happen.

“This is Wanda,” Natasha introduces them, and Bucky reaches to take her tiny hand in greeting. She looks one part terrified, and another part… angry? She still shakes his hand and mumbles a pleasantry. He knows that if Steve were here, she would probably be arrested for insolence to the crown or something comparable.

“It’s nice to meet you, Wanda. You can call me Bucky, everyone besides Natasha does.”

The look on her face says she will most likely not be calling him Bucky.

“Well, why don’t you spend the night here, James?” Natasha asks, standing to her feet and gliding into the kitchen, “we have a spare room, and can talk strategy in the morning.”

“I’d rather—”

“I insist,” Natasha cuts him off. She pours him a glass of water and pushes it into his hand, “I’m going to sleep. You know where the guest room is.”

“Isn’t…” he awkwardly motions towards Wanda, confused about the sleeping arrangements until he sees the flush in Wanda’s cheeks, the salacious grin on Natasha’s face.

“You don’t worry about us, our arrangements work just fine. Get some rest, James,” and with that, Natasha disappears up the staircase with a small kiss to the top of Wanda’s head. To his surprise, Wanda doesn’t move a muscle. She’s still staring at him, and it starts to get uncomfortable as they sit in silence.

Bucky clears his throat, “So, how did you—”

“I can help you with your problem.”

He does a double take, “— get… uh, what? Which problem?”

Wanda takes a seat across from him, but her posture is anything but relaxed. It’s her facial expression that makes him freeze— not just anger and fear, but knowing. Understanding. He curses himself because instead of scaring him, the knowledge in her eyes draws him closer.

She tilts her head to the side, slightly, “With your Merpeople. And with your brother. I’ve seen the conflict and I witnessed the shark attack. I know how your heart thrums in time with this red-tailed Merman, and how you long for it to beat in time with your brother, the King.”

“How do you—”

“You assume Natasha told me, but rest assured, my power and devices stretch far beyond her secret spies. I have a deal to offer you, and in return, you will earn the ear of the King and the heart of the sea.”

Bucky gives her a suspicious eye, but in reality, his heart is pounding. This girl, barely old enough to inherit land, is offering him the depths of his desires. But he knows mages, understands their loopholes and caveats.

“Tell me, Wanda— what is your scheme? What would be my payment?”

“Simple,” she answers, gaze going distant, “I’d first give you access to the King of the sea. Through the Mer you saved, his only son, you will forge a treaty between land and ocean. I will give you a way in, but in turn, you will have to enter the same spell all Mers are under: to forget and lose humanity. You will still remember names and faces and stories, but all will be in a cloak of ignorance. Like them, you will have no knowledge of the world above.”

Bucky rolls his eyes, “How am I supposed to forge a treaty between the two worlds if I can’t remember the one I’ve come from?”

“A royal alliance will break the spell. Marriage or covenant between the Prince of the land and Prince of the sea will not only break the cloak of ignorance on your mind, but also the ignorance of all who live in the Mer kingdom.”

His mind is racing. On one hand, he’s never easily put his trust in a strange mage, even one who seems to be… intimate with Natasha. On the other, he’s been looking for a way into the sea kingdom for years. Her spell could be the bridge that brings everything together.

“Oh, but there is one catch, James.”

“I knew it.”

“If you cannot get the Prince to fall in love and wed you, the enchantment on your memories will keep progressing. You will not only forget humanity, but you will completely forget yourself as well.”

“Does Natasha know you’re offering me this deal?”

“She knows we’re discussing it, yes.”

“How long would I have until my memories start to fade?” Bucky asks. He can’t believe he’s actually considering this.

Wanda seems to consider it, “No less than a month, no more than three.”

“So I’d give up my humanity, get this prince to fall in love with me, and break the spell over their kingdom. If I can’t do it, I’m lost to the sea forever— sound about right?”

Her mouth quirks up in a smile grin, “That’s about the gist of it.”

He thinks about Steve. About his life in the city— all the people who would miss him, and about Alpine and Natasha and even his royal guard. He thinks about the stunning, striking Mer from this afternoon. His ruby scales and cutting wit. Bucky desperately wants to see his eyes.

He looks down at his hands and sighs, straightening his back in determination.

From there, the decision isn’t hard.

[sasserenitysykingcollector]

Moon Child :Namjin: Chapter One

A/N hello! im going to start posting my fanfictions here! a lot of them were written a year or so ago so they are short and maybe a bit confusing! but im planning to start working on them! please stick around!

Chapter one:

Chapter word count: 1596

It was a rather cloudy day in central Seoul, the rising sun covered by a thin layer of grey clouds that foreshadowed rain. But for the students of the most prestigious college in the country, life continued on as normal. The clock tower rang out eight times, echoing off the many buildings that comprised the campus of Seoul National University. Slowly, the walkways and roads came to life. Students walking to breakfast with friends, teachers making their way to class to prepare for the day, and café workers opening the doors for the breakfast rush.

One café, in particular, was already full of customers, most of whom were women wanting to see the attractive co-owner of the establishment. Kim Seokjin, A fine arts and literature student at the university, often dreaded all the attention he received from the ogling guests. But he smiled and greeted each one the same, “Good morning miss, what may I make for you?” sometimes the customers would slide him a napkin with the money that had their name and phone number, to which he smiled politely and threw away once they walked away.

His male classmates called him the “Woman Magnet” to which he smiled, even though he knew he was the last person who should attract women. When he was fifteen, he had the biggest crush on his classmate Yoongi, it was a defining moment in his life. He had never felt any kind of attraction to women, sure some were cute, but he never thought about them as a potential partner. He wanted to tell his parents but could never bring himself to do it before he left for college. So whenever his mother calls asking about his love life, he always responds with “I’m in a committed relationship” and he never elaborates.

Luckily, his Fine arts class is mostly men, so he doesn’t have to worry about turning down women then, but it’s a double-edged sword. Some of the men in his class are attractive, and Seokjin often catches himself staring, mentally scolding himself every time. Being openly gay in Korea is risky, while there are no laws against it. The idea of loving the same-sex had only started to spread a few years ago. And Seokjin being a respected student at his college had decided to keep his sexual preference to himself.

The library became his safe place, specifically the mythological section. Mostly because no one ever goes there. But he had grown attached to the books and their contents. He liked to get lost in the worlds the books built for the reader. Sometimes, he would be there for hours at a time. Once he had to be told by the librarian that he had to leave because it was time to close.

His favorite book to read was called “Guardian of the moon children” it depicted a being who had no set species. It came in many forms, to young children it often appeared as a white or grey dog who guided them to eternal rest. When as for adults it appeared as a youthful young man who was described as having a deep but soft voice and soft skin. Not only did the being guide human souls to eternal rest, but it also was seen during the birth of someone who would do important things in their life. While Seokjin knew this was just fiction, he wanted it to be true.

At the end of his morning shift, Seokjin would head back to his apartment to shower and change his clothes. After which he would prepare a clean uniform for work and put it in his bag, before sitting at his desk for an hour to study before he had class. He only had four hours’ worth of classes a day, except for Fridays when he had six. So he always finished right before lunch. He would rush back to the café and change into his uniform before eating a quick snack. Normally, he would have ten to fifteen minutes to relax before the lunch rush began. Much like in the morning, women would stare and attempt to hit on Seokjin. It was something he never looked forward to. Part of him thought that if people knew why he worked three shifts a day, they would feel much differently about him. Seokjin had a loan to pay off, a hefty one at that. He had taken the loan out when he moved to attend the university. He had to pay for a place to sleep and the fees that were a result of schooling. At the rate he was making money, it would still be more than two years before he would have the loan completely paid off.

Something Seokjin s parents had told him since he was young was the reason he worked so hard, “if you do something, take responsibility. No matter how big or small the consequences are, never lie about something you did” those words were engraved on his mind, always haunting him, a reminder that the debt will never go away unless paid off. But he accepted it. After the lunch rush. He would make his way home. Working on the pile of homework he was assigned from the day’s classes. If he was able to finish before six, he would go to the library and read before his dinner shift. This was the way he lived.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

“Morning Seokjin, did you have another late night?”

Seokjin bowed slightly out of habit to the café owner, Minseok. Quickly standing straight, Minseok had told Seokjin to treat him as a friend, meaning he should call him by his name and not treat him as he normally would someone older than him.

“Yah!” Minseok exclaimed in exasperation, “I told you not to bow!” Seokjin smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Making his way behind the counter, Seokjin grabs his apron, tying in with ease. “Do you want me to open today?” he asked. “Go ahead” Minseok replied.

As usual, a line of people had already formed outside the door following Seokjin's arrival to the café. He smiled and waved politely before flipping the switch that then lit up a “yes! We are open!” sign.

As the line slowly shrunk and the smell of coffee and fresh pastries faded from the display that hosted an array of freshly baked goods, a deep voice greeted Seokjin

“Good morning sir” Seokjin squeaked out, surprised that he was able to keep his voice steady, albeit slightly higher pitched. “What can I get for you?”

“Ah, I’m new to this area but I saw the long line so I assumed it must be worth the wait, and I can assure you is was.” The man responded looking Seokjin over with his eyes, before meeting them directly.

Seokjin stared for longer than he probably should have, the man's eyes had stars in them, literal stars that floated and shone throughout his pupils, small specks that hypnotized him.

The clearing of a throat snapped him out of his trance, “s-sorry!” he apologize slightly louder than he needed to, causing a few heads to turn in his direction. “W-we are fairly well known for our crumble scones” he spoke nervously, gesturing to the half empty bake-case. “We have a f-few left”

“How perfect, I just so happen to love scones” the man replied running his fingers back through his hair. “And I’ll also have a (joon coffee) with that scone” Seokjin nodded and put the order into the register. Silently, Seokjin hoped the man would pay with his card so he could get his name.

“That will be 7100 Won please” When he looked up he spotted the exact amount in cash on the counter as the man tucked his wallet back into the inside pocket on his suit jacket. “Can I have a name for the order?” He asked. Even Though normally the café went off a number system he thought he would ask.

The man paused in thought “φεγγάρι” (Pronounced fen-gar-e) Seokjin jotted down the name, quickly realizing the name was the Greek word for Moon. He had taken Greek for his language the year before. Though, he never thought it would come in handy.

“You have a Greek name?” Jin asked as he sat the cup to his side and went to get the scone from the display case. “You know Greek?” the man asked. “Uh, y-yeah” Jin said shyly. His cheeks going red when he looked up only to realize that the eyes of the customer were glued onto his own.

“Oh!” Jin exclaimed as he stumbled and dropped the scone that slid on the floor.

Gasps filled the café as the man had caught Jin from falling, “w-wait how?? You were- now you're here?!” he spoke to himself as the man helped him stand up. “I'm going to have to cancel my order for now” he said as he walked towards the entrance, Jin stood in shock along with the other people in line.

Whispers continued throughout the day as Seokjin apologized and cleaned up the mess, he ended up dropping more drinks throughout the day as his mind was trying to deduce how the man made it to his side of the counter when the door to the back was locked, he couldn't remember if he saw the man jump the counter, but that would be impossible. Not a thing was out of place.

Seokjin had one thing in mind all day long, “where can I meet him again”

A/N: Hope you liked it! ill try and update regularly!

[thecrimsonmonster]

Little Character Things

Just a fun little character game. fill in the below categories with 3-5 things that your character can be identified by. repost & tag away!

tagged by stolen from: my old blog, edited to be more current

EMOTIONS / FEELINGS:

Indifference. Usually his default emotion in terms of people.

Curiosity. Despite his nihilistic perspective, Kimbley is always in the mood to learn.

Amusement. Life is a joke, might as well have a good laugh.

Desire. Not specifically sexual, but he’s always looking for something to want. And this does not mean for material goods, status, power, etc.—he wants something that moves him.

GREETINGS;

As a man of many faces and personas, the way that Kimbley treats his approach to people varies depending on his relationship with them.

First and foremost, Kimbley believes that making a good first impression is paramount when making new acquaintances. This is because he’s always looking for people to use or manipulate, whether for a specific purpose or just for fun. Therefore, upon meeting a new person, he makes sure to put on a pleasant façade and turn up his natural, practiced charm—come off as a handsome, friendly, helpful man to any strangers that might be wandering around Dublith. He’s all warm handshakes and sweet smiles. (And he’s very good at continuing this charade, if need be.)

Of course, there are some people who are aware of this faux mask. Depending on whether or not they are civil toward one another, his greetings change.

With those that despise him, he ensures indifference in his tone—unfriendliness, coldness, and a condescension that clearly states “I know I’m better than you, and I don’t care what you think of me.” At times his “hellos” are laced with blatant, smug insincerity, and he won’t hesitate to throw in some passive aggressive yet subtle insults or gross/morbid humor, to further enhance his apathy towards that person’s feelings.

However, with individuals with whom he’s grown fond, his demeanor is a little less flippant. He doesn’t hesitate to crack his patented twisted, sarcastic smirk and let loose a rather witty welcoming retort. He’s not exactly warm about it, but it’s all in good humor.

This, of course, doesn’t change that he’s an absolute monster.

COLORS;

SCENTS;

His scent is always dependent on the time of day or the activities he’s recently been into—many aromas to go with his many faces.

There is his natural scent—musky, woody, a forest after a rain. He dares not wear any cologne or perfume, as it would be too distracting. His olfactory senses are like an assistant in orienting himself, locating and memorizing things and people with relative ease.

He might smell like parchment and ink—a library filled with old books and dust, during his academic phases.

At times he smells very clean—too clean, like a doctor’s emergency room that’s been scrubbed clean. Very surgical, soapy, laced with just a hint of formaldehyde.

It is true, however, that there is always this underlying smell to him. It’s a combination of distinct elements—copper and iron, along with something like charcoal, ashy and burnt. Subtle but nonetheless obviously bitter if you linger close enough. As though it’s seeped into his skin after all of these years.

CLOTHING;

Like his public behavior, Kimbley finds it important that appearance reflect his cold, precise sophistication. He’s often found wearing suits in respectable, neutral colors—various shades of black and grey (though never white, obviously)—or bold, bloody reds. Whatever the case, he makes sure the colors of his overall outfit with matching undershirt and tie are balanced and pleasing to the eye. His shoes are always well-shined and fancy. On trips away from Dublith, his hands are always encased in thin, black leather gloves—practical and fashionable.

Uneventful, casual days call for less strict outfits—a black sleeveless shirt, relaxed slacks. He’s quite fond of suspenders, actually.

Then, of course, there are his many “disguises.” As someone who loves to deceive for the pure pleasure of it, he’s collected quite the collection of wigs, makeup, official uniforms, and silken dresses. Running around like this, however, is not something he regularly engages in—but it never hurts to have distractions on hand when he feels things are growing a little too mundane.

Despite his attire, he has two accessories that he is nearly always found wearing: one of the Red Stones that he keeps on his person, sometimes as a necklace tucked beneath his shirt, and his golden hair ribbon.

OBJECTS;

Most of the objects he deems “important” are ones he keeps in the secret safe in his room. There aren’t very many, but he takes excellent care of them:

The Red Stones that he has been working to develop in his default post-FMA verse. There are several of these stashed away, though he only keeps one on him at a time.

Books—specifically, in this case, two: A green one labeled “BOTANY” in gold letters, the other a personal journal, for taking various notes. The “botany” book appears to be just that, but is in fact a copy of his original alchemy notes he lost after his imprisonment, though much neater and more precise. It’s handwritten and is accompanied by various lovely and detailed illustrations. The journal is brown leather-bound, the pages within a tan off-white. The information therein alternates between the same neat print and loopy, dreadful cursive, depending on how quickly he needed to jot down whatever was on his mind. Notes might include random musings, specific events, or ideas for various narratives.

A photograph. It is of his father and himself when he was just a young boy. He curses his sentimentality for holding onto this.

VICES / BAD HABITS;

Torture and murder. It’s not so much a compulsion as a great source of joy for him, hence why he engages in being a horrible monster on a regular basis. Ask him, and he’ll give a grandiose philosophical reason behind why it gives him such awful pleasure.

Maintaining a horrible sleep schedule. He’s always getting himself into something—whether it’s reading, writing, or having a night of raucous debauchery—so he’s one of those “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” sort of people.

Stealing. Because why not?

Needless cruelty. Just like murder, he doesn’t have any tic compelling him to do it—he simply greatly enjoys it. This will include anything from being a condescending jerk to purposefully lying to hurt someone. Again, because why not?

BODY LANGUAGE;

Every one of Kimbley’s movements is measured and exact in order to reflect exactly what he wants people to perceive of him.

When around people who believe him the charming gentleman, he makes sure his posture is relaxed and disarming—hands casually in his pockets or clasped in front of him, a stance that displays confidence but is not outwardly aggressive.

In the presence of those he intends to intimidate, his poses are much more threatening. He tends to loom quite a bit, hovering in order to make people uncomfortable around him. Making sure the people who would oppose him know that he is maliciousness is, to him, imperative.

Around his familiars, his habits are a mixture of the previous two—displaying his charm and confidence, but also making sure that that air of danger  is unmistakable.

In terms of speaking habits, his hands are often in constant motion; he has a habit of fidgeting, though it’s hardly out of nervousness or impatience. He simply likes putting his hands to work, and often when he is behind the counter at the Devil’s Nest, he spends his time cleaning glasses, the table, even his nails.  These gestures are not grand, of course, unless he is aware he should emphasize a point, in which case, he moves from subtle to exaggerated.

AESTHETICS;

Surgical equipment—pristine, shining in the light, and neatly organized on a silver tray.

The sound of a building collapsing after an explosion.

A starless night, illuminated by a brilliant blood moon.

Libraries filled with poetry, biographies, and anatomy books.

The smell of lilies growing from a rotting corpse.

SONGS;

Escape from Midwich Valley - Carpenter Brut

Taxidermy - Sharon Needles

Operate - Peaches

Humans Are Such Easy Prey - Perturbator

halo - Collide

[tsukaramachi]

Valentine Dilemma (Yuuto x reader)

Ah the month of love or loneliness, February. The time where partners celebrate their love, the time when it’s the best chance to convey hidden feelings, and also the worst time to be alone. But for a young boy named Yuuto, it’s one of the most stressful things in his life. Not because he has to plan how to confess his feelings, but the dread that someone else might do it before him. After going online to look for inspiration on how to make the month special for (Y/N), he came across a thread that focused on valentines from the past. 

One person expressed their sorrow about them planning too much to the point that their surprise ended in vain when they found the person of their affection being confessed to by another. Sadly accepting the other person’s feelings and leaving the poster to spend a sad night alone. Another had planned too little and had been outdone by another with a more grand display of love. Someone else even ranted about how their love letter ended up in the wrong locker and having to deal with an awkward misunderstanding.

After spending a night filling his head with horrific and sad stories of unrequited love, the white haired boy’s head filled up with a thousand responsibilities on how his surprise could end up a failure.

A sigh left the boy’s lips as he twirled the light pink mechanical pencil in between his fingers. A clean sheet of paper in front of him, it mocked him with it’s blank state. Wanting to make a very special surprise for you, Yuuto had to leave right after school and sacrifice his time with you to come up for an idea for Valentine’s day. He had many ideas on what he could do, but the reason why he didn’t jot any of them down is due to the fear of them ending up a disaster. 

First, he came up with the idea of making you homemade chocolates. He thought it would be nice to decorate a big heart with different designs with the words “Will you be mine?” but the idea seemed too cliche. The idea had also made him flush a deep red for how embarrassing the idea was. So, he scrapped it and thought up of another. A date with just the both of you at the movies, it’s a casual idea and he thought it would be a good way to just be able to sit next to you. But the only available movies in theaters were…not really romantic. They’re anything but romantic and he wasn’t so sure on inviting you to a movie about a talking blue hedgehog. 

Making an album full of photos containing you was a good idea at first, but he realized that he had none of himself to pair with yours. He had only taken photos of you during school on his digital camera or phone, but only of you. He never took any of himself because he isn’t the most handsome guy. Also, whenever you would want to take a photo with him, the closeness of the both of you would make him blush and love around. Ruining the photo and him cropping himself out of it. He would never delete them though. You’re very photogenic and whatever picture he took of you came out amazing, but if he was in it… it would become blurred or it the camera had caught him making a weird face. While he would love another album full of your smiles, he knew that you wouldn’t really want an album full of just you without any friends or family.

Bringing you to a nice dinner was another, but he wasn’t sure on what restaurant to go to. Taking you to the local lookout to see the stars with you under the night sky was a close one. But when he had checked the weather forecast for the 14th, it was going to be too cloudy. Whatever idea he came up with, every single one of them had a flaw. So, he came up with a plan. Not wanting you to suspect him of anything. Yuuto decided to help out with the school’s Valentine’s day event to figure out the best gift for you.

——————————–

Walking into school, you sigh at the sight of the various red, pink, and white decorations that cover the halls. It’s your senior year and you’re still single. Hanging your head down low, you trudge across the floor. Where ever you look, students are carrying balloons, roses, stuffed animals, and even one kid is carrying around a giant poster with a blowed up picture of some girl.

As you go over to your locker, a small red card with the words “Happy Valentine’s day!” is scribbled across it, but you’re unfazed by it for how all the other lockers around you have the exact same card or something similar taped to their lockers. The same thing happens every year and you know this because it’s your senior year in high school. You experienced the same thing every Valentine’s Day and you even used to help out the student council by making some. cards for students.

Taking the piece of paper, you open it up to find it containing a valentines pun. It’s not really special so you toss it into your locker and you notice how empty it is. A gasp comes from your right, shifting your eyes to the right, a girl that looks to be younger than you has her hands up to her mouth.

A pile of cards is stacked inside her locker and a couple fall out from how unstable the stack it. A small pang of pain hits your heart as you envy her. Not because she got a lot of cards-well yes that’s one of the reasons, but also because of how she also received cards from her friends. As she closes her locker, you can see that it’s decorated with small post-it notes with cute small messages signed from her friends.

“Happy Valentine’s Day stinky >:)” and “You’re my butter half” with a drawing of a stick of butter cut in two are just a couple of the things you see on her locker. You find it sweet that her friends did that for her and it doesn’t mean that you don’t have friends. You just know that they’re lazy about doing stuff for the holiday, but it would’ve been nice to at least have a greeting from them. But you didn’t prepare anything special either so you can’t really complain.

You take your notebooks out for your classes for the day. When you close your locker, you turn to leave but you abruptly bump your head into a pink mass. Taking a step back, you rub your forehead to soothe the sore area. The thing, animal, or whoever it is waves their hands frantically. Trying to figure out whoever is in front of you. You take a step back to fully see who it is since they’re taller than you.

“Ha?” You furrow your brows at the thing before you. Someone dressed up in a pink bear suit holding heart shaped balloons.

The person tenses up and gives you a robotic wave. They seem nervous.

You wave back to them and excuse yourself as you awkwardly walk around them to go to your first class. While you focus on making your way through the obstacles of couples standing annoyingly in the middle of the hallway, the pink mascot watches you leave their vision.

Throughout the rest of the day, something strange keeps happening to you. Where ever you go, you would find that same pink bear. When you went to your first period. It was there to help with someone confessing their love by holding up a sign as a guy gave his crush a bouquet of roses. In your second period, it was handing out valentine’s day cards from anonymous senders addressed to their valentine’s. During your free period, you would find it peeking behind the corner and you could clearly see it. Everyone could, but some people would run up to it asking for its assistance in summing up the courage to confess to their special someone. While you were walking to your next class orto the bathroom, you could see it being dragged around the school. But every single time, it would always be looking at you.

When lunch came, you found out that that the bear was actually something the student council came up with. A mascot for the holiday to help promote events and students to express their feelings. Anyone could send in a request to ask for help from the pink friend. Some teachers who are married even had its help in sending gifts to their partners on the other side of the campus or to the office. You think I it’s a cute idea, but you’re more curious about who would take up such a role.

Running around the school in a big pink suit must be exhausting and it seems like only the same person is wearing the suit. Maybe one of the more athletic kids are doing it? They would be better suited to do such a thing, but you’re just guessing. It’s not one of the janitors since you could clearly see them going around the school fixing up decorations and brushing away excess confetti and trash littering the hallways. The members in the student council are certainly not it because they’re too busy doing the requests and there’s not that much for them. You do have hunch though as to whom it might be. You haven’t seen any of your close friends and you know that o e of them has a crush on one of the SC members. So you have a feeling that they might’ve offered their help. Which is nice of them, but it left you alone during lunch since your other friends seem to be missing as well.

——————————–

As everyone rushes to get home, you put away your things in your locker. While the day had been hectic, it was interesting to see the different surprises everyone did. Though you just wished that someone would’ve at least greeted you. Some teachers did, but they don’t count in your book.

Slamming your locker shut, you’re about to head out to leave but you once again find the pink mascot peeking over a corner while facing your direction. But instead of ducking out of view from you, they signal you to come closer. Feeling bored, you do so and walk over to it. They offer you their hand or paw, you aren’t sure since it looks just like a big mitten but you take it. As you’re led away, you’re taken to small random destinations throughout the school. The first spot is your homeroom. No one is inside, but on your desk is a small pink rabbit plush with a red ribbon tied around its neck.

The person in the costume walks over to it and hands it to you. You take it and give it a small squeeze. Its soft plush fur rubs against your cheek and it’s pleasant to the touch. You admire how cute and huggable it is, but the bear offers you their paw again. Now with a small stuffed animal in your other hand, you take their paw again to be led to another place.

In the cafeteria you found a big heart shaped sign with sweet messages from your friends. Near the girl’s bathroom, you found a gift basket with face masks, shampoos, scented candles, and other toiletries for you to use. In the hallway in front of your locker, a bouquet of pink, red, and white roses and carnations laid waiting for you. Everywhere you went, something was waiting for you and with every gift. You’re surprised everytime with something different. Cards, more stuffed animals, keychains, chocolates, and other gifts were scattered around the school waiting for you.

In the areas that had more people, they would actually not touch the gifts because a member from the student council would watch over it until you and the bear arrived. At one point there were too many gifts so the person in the suit had to bring over a red wagon so your arms would be free from the various gifts you received.

The last place you were lead to was the roof, which made you really surprised since no one is really allowed on the roof except staff and the janitors when they need to throw back down stray volleyballs and baseballs for the sports teams.

While you’re carefully lead to the side of the building facing the open free area in the middle of your school, the bear faces towards you. They take off the head of the costume, and you can’t really tell who it is. Panting heavily from exhaustion with fogged up goggles, a white surgical mask, and messy white hair in all directions. You try to hold in your laughter as the person struggles to take off the equipment. Their hair bad gotten tangled to their goggles and you had to help free them, but they would try and still you for some reason.

You persist in trying to take if off of them while they stutter over how sweaty they are and how you’ll feel icky after touching their hair. But you do it anyway. As you take off the surgical mask, you can see their lips had gotten a dry. Telling them to wait a moment, you take out a chap stick you got in one of the gifts that you received and put it over their lips. You smile as you hear them nervously stutter out a small “Thank you” When you take off their goggles, you can see the red ruby eyes you love so much.

White strands of hair cling to Yuuto’s face as you help wipe off the sweat that accumulated underneath his bangs all the while as a deep blush scatters across his cheeks.

“Ah I’m so sorry (Y/N)…” Yuuto says, you brush a strand of his hear behind his ear as you wipe the side of his cheek with a clean napkin, “I didn’t expect that to happen and I was going to take off all that stuff before hand before bringing you up here but uhm, I forgot to do it earlier…”

“What’re you apologizing for? I don’t mind helping you at all especially since you’ve been running around school all day. Also,” you pinch his cheek slightly, “You need to rely on others more! You’re crazy for not taking any breaks! I even saw you help the janitors clean up that huge chocolate cake that someone dropped in the hallway!”

“B-But they needed my help…and I couldn’t take a break!”

You quick a brow at his statement, “Hm and why is that?”

With a small sigh, Yuuto takes off the mittens covering his hands. Taking a hold of yours into his, “I-I wanted to make this day special for you, but I couldn’t come up with the right surprise for you…so I asked the student council if they could help me with any ideas and they proposed that I should be the helper mascot on Valentines day to get some inspiration. I got carried away though and no one else could do it so…”

“You got stuck in helping out all day?”

He let’s out a small nervous laugh, “Yeah…but you know. You mean so much to me and…” his hold tightens a bit, “And I have so much love for you but there’s not enough ways that I can express just how much you’re always on my mind. So I ordered a bunch of gifts for you and your friends helped me out too! Each place we visited, are places I have found memories of you (Y/N).”

You feel a bit confused, “But we went went through the whole school.”

“Ah haha… that’s because I got carried away. Every time I see you, hear your voice, and feel your touch is special to me. That’s why I took you all around the school and I even got extra gifts for you for all the people that I helped…but I want you to know that, I love you (Y/N)! You always cloud up my thoughts and I can never stop thinking about you and I-”

Before Yuuto finishes his sentence, you plant a kiss on his lips. It was quick, but it was enough to leave the boy left in awe and you smile.

“I’m thankful that you think of me that way, but next time don’t overwork yourself okay?”

“O-Okay, I promise!”

Yuuto engulfs you into a hug and you almost stumble over. You laugh as you feel him nuzzle his face into your neck, but you’re startled by the sound of cheering from down below. Looking towards the opening area, you can see other people cheering and your friends int he center giving you a thumbs up. You can see that a bunch of them have their phones out. They recorded the whole thing…

You can feel your cheeks heat up as you hide your face into Yuuto’s shoulder from the crowd. You feel embarrassed that that the whole exchange was recorded, but you’re also happy that someone would go this far for you.

[cherryfi]

Don’t Run From Me

Chapter 1: The Interview (2684 words)

A/N: Hello, Hello! This isn’t my first time writing fanfics but, it’s the first time I’m writing for ATEEZ! Please be kind! I’m thinking of making this a chapter series but, I’m kind of stuck on which chapter I should do next. Should I do what happens after the end of this one or should I do the reverse order -(like the first time you met Hongjoong).

T/W: Some cursing and kidnapping.

Enjoy!

2 years.

It had been almost 2 years since you’d finally let yourself settle down.

In your heart it felt like the right time to stop running. For that amount of time no one had come looking for you and nothing bad had happened ( short of occasionally seeing almost familiar faces while out and about in town or across the aisle when you were shopping), you were finally in a place where you felt like you could comfortably let your head rest.

You’d hopped around from motels to hotels at first, terrified to call family and friends because of the chance that Hongjoong would find you. But, as more time passed, you grew comfortable in the idea that he’d leave you be.

You were tired of sleeping on uncomfortable beds that you could never call your own.

Months on the run had made you crave home and that’s exactly where you went.

After the best part of a year you showed up on your mother’s doorstep, halfway across the country with only a backpack and the clothes on your back to your name.

She didn’t ask any questions, just welcomed you back home and over time, once you’d settled, you told her everything.

After many tearful conversations, where your mother told you how worried she was; not knowing where you were or if you were even alive and you told her how much you regretted leaving without telling her; you were closer than ever.

After countless sleepless nights, where you woke up scared that he’d found you , she recommended that you go into therapy. She was terrified of the trauma that you’d been through and how much its impacted you and after her ultimatum ‘Go to therapy or I’m going to the police’ you made yourself go.

The stability of being back at home with your mum and having a permanent roof over your head, coupled with your therapist helping you get through the last 3 years of pain and fear;  put you in a place where you were finally ready to take the last step in truly stabilising yourself: you were going to get a job.

You had spent the last 2 years working odd jobs, from run down diners to small hardware stores to gas stations – you were a ‘Jack of all trades.’

But, before all of that and before Hongjoong had come into your life, you’d been a full-time student who would do PA/ admin work part-time at a well-known company.

Even though you didn’t get to finish your degree, you still had the skills you’d learned in admin work behind you and you were going to sell yourself.

 That’s what bought you here.

Sitting in the lobby of an upscale office building; resumé and paperwork in hand.

‘Breathe’

You sigh deeply, shaking out your hands to relieve some of your body’s tension and reassure yourself yet again that you’re making the right decision.

You’d sign with an agency (on your therapist’s recommendation) and they’d sent you an ad for Tongyong; a small start-up company that was looking to expand.

The current CEO was in the process of gaining some middle/ top league clients and was on the ‘up and up’ , he was looking for a savvy, conscientious and hardworking individual to help him organise his time and schedules.

That was where you came in! You were all these things and more.

Funnily enough, they didn’t really care about years of experience, they were happy to train you up, in order to make you the best fit for them.

It was perfect.

You took the job listing and booked yourself in for an interview, hoping that you’d finally be able to complete your fresh start.

“Ms Y/N Y/L/N? They’ll see you in the office now. Follow me.” You smiled at the pretty receptionist, thinking that you might have seen her somewhere before but, not being able to put a name to a face and quickly got up.

Standing in the elevator with this woman, you couldn’t shake the trepidation that swept over you, almost freezing you in place.

The higher the elevator rose, the more anxious you became, and your mind was suddenly screaming ‘run’.

The phrase, ‘Into the lion’s den’ popped into your mind.

“We’re here. I’m sure you’re going to do great and I wish you the best of luck.” She smiled at you and opened the door, telling you to sit down.

He came in shortly after.

“Ms Y/L/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You nearly jumped out of your skin, nervously laughing as you got up to greet him.

“Yes, sorry. Hi Mr-“ You shook his gently as he apologised for frightening you, telling you his last name was Kim but, to call him Jiwon.

‘Who else do you know with the last name Kim, Y/N’ Panic flashes through you, white hot and you take another deep breath, quashing your anxiety.

‘Run Y/N’

 The interview was going well.

You were sat opposite of each other, a spotless glass table separating you.

You chatted nonchalantly about your previous experiences and what the company was looking for as well as what their mission was.

Jiwon spoke passionately about how Tongyong’s aim was to change the tech market and make it more accessible to everyone and how they were going to create luxury products with affordable prices.

He also spoke to you about what your work with the CEO would be like.

He made it clear that the hours were going to be long and sometimes unsociable but, you would be paid well for your time and it would be worth it.

Quickly, you found yourself excited to work for Tongyong; thrilled at being able to say you were there when the company was still small and renting office space, instead of building international offices.

You looked forward to the work that you would do, and you weren’t at all deterred by the long hours but, there was still a niggling fear that kept eating away at the back of your mind.

‘If this isn’t the CEO then, where is he?’

The small thread of doubt began to grow like a migraine behind your eyes and you had to calm yourself down, yet again.

‘We spoke about this in therapy Y/N, these things happen with trauma, you’re just paranoid’ Either way, with the fear looming over your head and your anxiety building, you had to ask:

“Um, will I be meeting the CEO today or is that a separate interview?” He smiled, leaning back in his chair and stretching his legs.

“Yes of course, how silly of me! I should have said at the very beginning! You’ll be meeting him after this interview. Don’t look so alarmed, he just has a few questions that he wanted to ask you. He’s a great guy and you’re interviewing really well.” He smiled reassuringly, looking at the shock written across your face.

Meeting the CEO would be a huge deal and, so soon?

Pre-interview jitters took over you again.

“I’ve only got one question left and then if there isn’t anything you want to ask me, we can wrap up and I’ll bring the other Mr Kim in.”

‘The other Mr Kim?’

“So, your resume looks great but, why the jump back into PA work? There’s a 2 year break here where you were doing hospitality and retail stuff intermittently, is there any reason for that and how has your situation changed to allow you to do more consistent work?”

‘I was on the run from my crazy-ass, murderous ex’ You shook your head, physically shaking the thought away and gave a thoughtful answer.

“I had a personal issue that meant that I needed jobs that offered flexibility. So, I was working at different places for short periods of time because that was the best that I could do given the rigid schedule at home. My situation has changed now, and I no longer have the same commitments that I did before. This means that I’m now able to jump back into full time work.” He nodded to your answer, jotting down notes on his copy of your resume. You almost high-fived yourself on a job well done.

“Perfect. Have you got any questions for me?” You thought quickly,  remembering that it’s always important to have questions ready for your interviewer and you wanted to see if he’d offer up any more info on the other Kim.

“What got you into Tongyong?”

He gave you a short answer about his love of tech (which you could tell from how passionate he was before and how he and Mr Kim were good friends so, he trusted in his vision.

He was about to continue when there was a knock at the door.

“I guess we’ve run out of time, it was a pleasure meeting you Y/N.” He shook your hand.

“It was nice meeting you too, Jiwon.” He stepped out of the room, closing the door behind him.

 You could hear talking outside of the interview room but, with a frosted glass window and opaque, cherrywood door you couldn’t really hear what was being said or see who he was talking to.

 As you heard the door being opened, you quickly stood up, ready to greet whoever came into the room.

As your eyes connected, you had to catch yourself to stop from fainting.

Your soul  just about left your body.

“Ms Y/L/N, you look as if you’ve seen a ghost.” His smile was sly and spread across his face slowly as he took the seat across from you.

Hongjoong.

He doesn’t look any different to the way he did when you last saw him.

His hair, once red, was a light pink but, he still looked deceptively innocent.

He looked almost princely in his cut suit.

You were dumbfounded, frozen stiff and still standing in the position you were in before: hand out ready to greet someone who was already comfortably seated.

“Honey take a seat. Let me see that beautiful face. I haven’t seen it in, what was it, 2 years?” You could hear the smirk in his voice and the way he stressed that it had been 2 years. Your skin was crawling.

You couldn’t even get angry at being duped like this.

‘Run’

“Don’t even think about leaving. I have guards by the door, the elevator and in the lobby. Not even James Bond could get out of here.” He chuckles lightly at his joke and you think you might be sick.

Your stomach starts turning.

Your hands start to feel like spiders are crawling over them.

Your body goes cold and you start shaking.

Shakily, you sit back down; turning to face Hongjoong but, refusing to look at him.

He doesn’t like that.

“Look at me sweetheart, let me see those beautiful eyes.” You look at him. As sweet as his words are, his tone is sharp and commanding.

He’s daring you to disobey him, especially when he has you trapped like this.

“Why do you look so angry? Shouldn’t I be the angry one? After all, we spend an incredible and passionate night together and I wake up in the morning to find you gone. Poof, you disappear on me. You took all your shit and just left me.” He leans forward, his large eyes boring into yours.

Hongjoong isn’t going to let you get away , not this time.

You open your mouth, and nothing comes out. You’re beginning to hyperventilate.

“Oh, so you have nothing to say? Cute. I left you alone, thinking maybe you needed some time. Maybe the reason you were jumping all over the country was because you needed space to sort yourself out. I thought you’d come back and tell me what the hell you were thinking; running without so much as a goodbye.”  His voice raises louder with sentence, until he’s red in the face and shouting at you.

He's demanding an answer from you.

“Hongjoong, I-“ He holds up his hand, leaning back in his chair.

The smile has returned but, this time he looks more crazed than happy.

“Don’t worry. We’ll have time to talk about all your little escapades while you were off galivanting and hiding from me. Just tell me one thing baby:” His voice is deathly quiet as he leans in close; he’s deceptively calm.

“Does it surprise you, that I always knew where you were?”

Your breathing picks up at that and you begin to panic.

Your body feels like you can’t enough air in and you begin to shake.

The fact that he always knew where you were and could have gotten to you at any time hits you like a truck.

“I set up this cute, little interview just to talk to you. Isn’t that sweet Y/N? Instead of tracking you down and ambushing and you possibly getting hurt in the process, I just thought why not have her come to me? I’m tired of waiting for you to come home. It’s time for you to come home.”

You shake your head, trying to think of a way to run and coming up short.

Hongjoong grabs your hand, making you stand up from your chair and leads you to the door.

Your mind is still reeling and you’re running on autopilot – you need to get away from him.

‘Come on Y/N! THINK! You’ve gotten away before, you can do it again.’

You remember that Hongjoong said he had men in the elevator, outside the door and in the lobby but, he said nothing about the stairwell.

Hongjoong leads you out, holding onto you loosely  and you begin to think that he’s sure that he’s got you trapped.

As the elevator doors ding and open, you see Mingi inside it.

He’s tall and imposing, his face cold and stern. He barely spares you a glance as Hongjoong steps in the elevator before you. Now’s your chance.

Everything seemed to go in slow motion.

You pull your hand from his as the doors begin to close and bolt for the stairwell; ready to run all the way down.

“Shit.” Hongjoong immediately presses the button to open the door and charges after you.

You  know you’ve only got a little advantage over him and you’re not going to let it go to waste. You kick of your shoes and rush down the stairs, hearing Hongjoong behind you.

You’ve made it down 2 floors when you run right into Jongho’s arms.

“Please let me go, I need to get out of here, please!” With panic rising fast, you do everything you can to get out of his hold; kicking, screaming and begging.

Pretty soon tears are running down your face as the terror really starts to set in.

“I can’t do that Y/N, you know that.” Jongho says without much emotion in his voice. He barely looks at you and doesn’t even seem to break a sweat as you struggle against his hold.

Hongjoong shows up soon after.

Once he’d heard you being caught by one of his men he slowed down, taking his time to get to you.

He was stalking towards you.

“Thanks, Jongho. It looks like our little escape artist isn’t done adventuring yet.” He’s furious.

Despite how calm he looks his eyes are blazing as he looks at you coldly.

“Please Hongjoong, Jongho. Please! Just let me leave! I haven’t told anyone anything. You know that, right? I’ve been quiet the whole time. I won’t say anything. Please just let me go. I just want a normal life.” He shakes his head, taking a bottle out of his pocket and a handkerchief. He doesn’t even hear your pleas. Jongho’s hold on you only tightens.

He grabs your arms to stop you from lashing out at Hongjoong.

“Let’s make sure, she can’t get away again.” Your struggling and begging is useless, As the chemical soaked ‘kerchief is placed over your nose and mouth, the only thought that runs through your mind is that you should have followed your gut instinct.

Let me know what you think and let me know if you want to be tagged for the next chapter! <3

REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

[oh-phineas]

Emma’s 2020 Questionnaire! 

Your Name: Emma Characters: Phineas Flynn, Tiana Truitt, Aquata Triton, Henry Charming, Evelyn Deavor Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now? I’m going to talk about Phineas because I’ve had him for the longest and I think he’s the one I’ve been able to spend the most time developing. So basically something I struggled with when I first picked up Phineas was how he deals with people he doesn’t like, because in the show I don’t think he really dislikes anyone. And I feel like this drama with Tony recently has finally helped me crack what Phineas’s deal is when it comes to conflict-- he doesn’t really feel down about it unless he feels like his character is being questioned, and that’s why with Wilbur he’s mostly like whatever while with Tony and Lock (in the past) Phineas has gotten petty and vindictive-- he doesn’t like the role he’s found himself in and he takes that personally if that makes sense. (Also Phineas just way prioritizes his job with Cornelius over getting back at Wilbur, even if he’ll make the occasional jab at Wilbur in Among Us or on Twitter). So that’s been really cool to explore. And I think he’s also gotten a little less finance-bro-y than I originally intended, but I think that side of him will definitely come out once he graduates and goes to uni. I think the thing I’m most proud of with him is kind of maintaining that balance between being totally likeable and fun while also pretty infuriating and obtuse, like he’s a sweet and well-meaning person who’s also really annoying and idk I think I do that balance well.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? I’m really excited to see where Tiana goes! Ever since I picked her up, I’ve been focused on this goal of getting the restaurant to happen and now that I’ve done that, there are a lot of possibilities. I want to see Tiana burn out from the stress a little bit-- maybe take on more than she can handle because a big part of her arc has been learning to accept help and collaborate with people, and I got to do that a lot with planning Tiana’s Place, but I would also really like to see that continue because those tendencies don’t really go away. I also want LOVE for Tiana even though I keep saying she doesn’t have time for it-- I want her to get a stupid crush that distracts her from work lol I think it could be really fun. And I’m also really excited to keep developing all her friendships, I love all of her Swynlake native connections and PRINCESS HOUSE and other small business owners and now that she really feels like she has put down roots with her restaurant, I want to see her branching out more.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths. Ok sorry to keep talking about Tiana I promise I have other characters but I’m really proud of all of the different characters I incorporated into the Tiana’s Place opening. My goal was to make a real community effort to show that, no matter how much she wanted to do it on her own, she still has a whole group of people supporting her and who have a stake in it-- from Nuka and Ratigan in the beginning with the financial stuff to Clara and Toulouse and Laszlo with the music/art to Jun and Al for business advice to all the people who donated to the raffle. And the raffle was so fun and I hope people use that for plots!!

I also gotta shout out one more: writing the pirates AU Phineas and Ferb stuff was so much fun and really pushed me as a writer I think. I was a little uneasy going into pirates because action/movement/fights are not my strong suit and I knew there would be a lot of that. But the generated stuff was really helpful in kickstarting some ideas and Sid was so great to work with on that. I thought we got really creative and personally I had so much fun and I hope other people did too. 

In terms of strengths for my writing-- I think I’m good with flaws? Like even characters who are really sweet and nice (I’m looking at you Henry) I think I try to show the different sides of them and explore how you can be both really well-meaning and really misguided at the same time. And I think that’s good because it has the potential to cause conflict and drive forward more plots where there’s no clear ~bad guy~ just flawed people trying their best and that’s the most interesting stuff to me. Of course I also love big bads! I think macro plots are really important. I think my niche though is those petty little conflicts and I think I do a good job with them. 

I’m adding another too because you know what why not. I think I've gotten pretty creative recently?? Like I’ve done some really weird fun stuff this year-- Henry and Jake’s acapella audition is up there as one of my favorite threads, and I’m really excited about Tiana and Aurora’s fake date and Greg and Q doing Santa’s Workshop and I think Henry’s first open was one of my favorite opens I’ve done. Idk I think one of my insecurities about RP has always been that I worry I don’t bring enough ideas to the table with plotting and I think I’m getting better at letting my brain dream up weird cool stuff.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement.

Like I said, plotting is still something I struggle with-- I spent the majority of my early RP experience in a very gif-chat-heavy open-heavy fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants rp, so coming to BDRP even back during round 1 in 2017, plotting was a big surprise to me. And this is also something that I struggle with in my non-RP writing-- story arc and structure is something I have always wanted to improve. But I think I’m getting better at fleshing out ideas and not putting too much pressure on myself. And I think I’m also getting better at stepping out of my comfort zone and messaging people I don’t write with as often which is important because literally everyone here is so fun and talented! So I want to keep doing that. I know I can be a little shy sometimes (this sounds SO weird I never shut up lol but it’s how I feel) and I don’t want that to hold me back

In terms of actual writing stuff, I’d like to expand my vocabulary a bit more? I think I use certain words and phrasing so often that it annoys me and maybe it annoys no one else and my writing will be worse if I try to throw in unnecessary words but yeah. I think reading more will help with that. And in general I just really want to get better at thinking stuff through and building story arcs. 

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts. (They don’t have to be books, either!)

Ev is the one I feel like I need to do the most development on so here goes!

1. Red White and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston, specifically the character Nora

Messy nerd girls! Messy nerd girls! Please recommend me more things with messy nerd girls! Nora is basically Ev’s exterior, the person people know her as. She’s chaotic and fun and relatable, and also kind of a genius.

2. Macbeth, specifically the character Lady Macbeth

This is one I wanna dive into! I’ve seen a heavily abridged version of Macbeth and that’s about it but I have a copy sitting on my desk. I love a villain who likes to stay behind the scenes and pull the strings, and while Ev is in this for “moral reasons” (lol) she’s also in this for #power. I’m not used to playing manipulative villains-- I’m usually more of a henchperson type deal, so the ultimate 4-D chess gal would be some good inspo.

3. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, specifically Professor Quirrell.

Ok I am really sorry to bring Harry Potter into this but I think something that’s important about Ev is that one of the things distracting from her villainy is her vague air of incompetency. We know she’s very smart and she has the whole nutty-professor thing going, but she’s kind of a mess and I want characters to underestimate her. I think Quirrell’s vibe of being nervous about everything is similar to Ev’s messy exterior and I would love a good end-of-the-book villain reveal.  And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Oooh so many things. Generally more romance-- I always hesitate a little with shipping IDK WHY maybe it’s insecurity about jumping into what always feels like a bit plot to me lol. But I wanna take that plunge more-- especially with Tiana! But I’m pretty much open to stuff with anyone, especially really silly rom-com type stuff. I also think that my shipping niche is super complicated stuff with villains (the irony and craziness of the Henleigh situation is so FASCINATING and FUN and I want MORE OF THAT) so just saying a I’m-flirting-with-you-because-you’re-a-good-ally-to-have-on-my-side-oh-no-I’m-actually-falling-for-you thing with Ev could be really fun (LISTEN her entire tag is just shipping content. I scroll through so much of it so of course it gave me some ideas)

I’m also REALLY jazzed about the uni stuff going on right now. Like I’ve said before, I think college is a really interesting place and so much weird shit happens there because you have all these 18-22 year olds living in close quarters and they come up with weird ways to entertain themselves. The secret santa/RA stuff has me loling every day and I just love stuff like that. Like, I’d love to have shenanigans like people sneaking into dorms and staying up until 3 am in the library and all that stuff. I just love that stuff.

Also I am really trying to do big bad stuff with Ev!! As I have mentioned... plotting and story arcs are a major thing I’m trying to work on, so it’s a lot to think about, but I would really just love to do all kinds of things-- I’d love to have her enable small-time villains, or manipulate people who are easily swayed, or to trick people. It’s a new area for me, but it’s something I’m excited about and I want to challenge myself.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

Because I literally can’t stop apparently lol. No but the thing I love about RP is getting to collaborate on a story and getting surprised by people, getting to geek out about something that I can also participate in, and having NO RULES. I think there’s something really special about having an interest that I can’t monetize or market, that I can do for pure fun out of my love of creating and writing. And I love having a community of people on the ride with me. It’s so much fun and I’m so grateful for you guys!

I always end with a gif so here’s my favorite gif it legit makes me laugh out loud

[wispandwhispers]

moonboy

Notes: Writers block is a bitch, I’m sorry this took so long.

Pairings: Prinxiety, Logicality, qpr dukeceit

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Tw(s): Cursing, mental torture, one slight nsfw joke, death, crying

Words: 1884

"You've got your stuff?"

Some scuffling and overturning of a bag to double check that everything is in it.

"Yep.

"Do you really think that we are going to make it back for first bell."

"Naw."

"Call in the favour from Quill..."

*****

Roman woke up.

From those dreams.

And the screaming thoughts came back.

Don't think about it Ţ̚Ḩ͡Ī̧͖̪͉͓͌̊̂͝N͕̾K̝̟͗͗,̦̂ ̒͢T̡̫̪̄̾͛HI̡̫̮͑̅͂N̢̨̖̯̳̆͆͗͘̚K̦͔͑͋,͍̱͔̬̓͛̑̐ ͙̦̯͚̅͂͋̽P̛͚̰̟̩̟̾̄̆͂L͎͍̥͔̭̎͒̉̃͘Ẻ̲͈̬͖̄̿̒A̜̓S̩͒̏͜Ḛ͉͒͝ ̣̯̲̜̄̊́̄͞ͅL̦̏Ȉ̡͕͌̚ͅS̭̦̀̕-

He sighed. It's ok when he dreams about about a cute boy but damn him if he wants to think about it.

He walked down the stairs, the mental warzone fading to background noise as he grabbed his bowl and made himself breakfast.

He didn't have the energy to make anything fancy (the pounding headache the thoughts gave him took all of it).

Sitting down at the kitchen table with the cereal, stiring the milk idly, he turned to his side to talk to his-

Wait.

"Dad!"

"Yes, Kiddo?"

"Where's Remus?"

"He left with Janus this morning."

I thought they would a least give me notice before they decided to overthrow the government or decide to do something equally stupid.

"Thanks, Dad."

*******

Wroammin: Jan, what are you doing with my brother?

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE- :Why do you ask?

Wroammin: You came to my house to pick up Rem before I woke up

Wroammin: And the sun just came up

Wroammin: The fuck are you two plotting and do I need a Hazmat suit or not

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE- : I'm going to exercise my right of free speech

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE-: By not using it

SnekSnekSeverusSnekDUMBLE- has blocked Wroammin

Wroammin: Fuck You

******

"Vale?"

Silence filled 3Q.

"Not here!"

Miss Quill took a pen out of her hair a jotted down a note on a scrap piece of paper, seemed to whisper something under her breath and do a small smile to herself.

"Xia?"

"Which one?"

"The virgin."

How the fuck does she know?

The class erupted into a symphony of laughter and mockery except for Roman, Virgil and Nyx (But Nyx was snoring so Roman didn't know to count it as a win or not).

Virgil looked over at his arch-nemesis, almost deciding to so something or not. He seemed to choose the latter.

And those eyes seemed the flair but it was just for one second, but it would be gone as quick as it started.

Roman placed his head on the table in embarrassment waiting for the humiliation to stop.

"...Here, Miss.."

(Virgil tapped Roman's shoulder).

"Yilton?"

(Roman lifted his head and gave him a a sharp glare. "Why the fuck are you speaking to me?")

"You can hear my voice."

( "Jeez," He lifted his hands in surrender. "This fell out of your man bun" The emo passed a pencil to the other.)

" Zander?"

(Roman snatched the pencil -ignoring the fact that it seemed to be glowing slightly- stuffed it in his hair and proceeded to give Virgil double birds).

"Xey're sick."

(Lunaper mimicked the action).

Quill closed the register tab.

"Ok mortals, take out your plann-"

The constant ringing of a bell that went on a little to long to be a period change.

The students sighed.

"Drop your bags and line up in register order in silence." The class groaned even louder but followed the instructions given.

Except Roman.

"Miss, it's raining buckets outside and someone in the staff probably just burned their toast, do we really have-"

"Xia,I told you to line up in silence!"

Even the older twin knew that trying to argue with Quill when she raised her voice was suicide so he slowly backed away and joined the line as he didn't bring anything that could cover him. And he was sure that someone was fucking with him as the rest of the class had brought protection except the emo.

Why the hell are you noticing I̘̒Ṫ͍͙͎̅͌'̛̯͎̐S̭̱̠̣͎̽̽̈́̄͠ ̳̥͖͂̋̇B̹̂É̯͙͚͕͂͌̕C̹͝A̙̮̱̓͌̀U͓̺̣̎̑̇Ś̳̣̮̀͑́͟E̲̦̓̽ ̘̫͑͑Y̬̠̊̄O͓͠U͈̓ ̢̟͎̅̽͋C̪̲̦̉̉͒A̰͎̔͘R̢̜̱̬͌̾͆͊̄͟É͈ ̨̦̺̓̇͞F̫͑O̖̕R̗̫͗̓ ̗̹̺̏͑̊H̩̼̒̇-him?

The pounding headache was back, like two parts of his brain where bitching with each other for some damn reason. He rubbed his temple to try and relieve the pain.

"You know the drill, walk in absolute silence to the plaza and wait for me while I get the paper register."

******

The class filled back in annoyed and wet. Turns out that a teacher had taken a cigarette break and the back of the the cafeteria block and that's what set off the alarms.

By the time they had returned, it was already half way into first period. Mx Spring had said that they should just consider this a free period and return to their homerooms. To pass the time Roman took out a his spare spiral notebook and started to sketch in it.

If you asked Roman what he drew during this time, he would know but not understand how he did it. He just remembered taking out the pencil he'd previously stuffed in his hair , an overwhelming calm rushing over him and waking up to find a scarily intricate version of the boy from his dreams on the lined paper.

This is the same Roman who would spend two and a half hours struggling to get the other eye just right was suddenly able to draw actual whole person in thirty minutes.

As the second period bell rang, he eyed his masterpiece warily and closed his notepad.

*******

Xia drifted off to the droning voice of his geography teacher, every though he knew that this was a crucial-

"Roman Xia and Virgil Lunaper, please make your way your way to the front desk, I said Roman Xia please make your way to the front desk."

The two boys stood up and packed up their stuff slowly, shrugged their backpacks onto their shoulders and quickly said by to their teacher.

******

"Holy shit, you're ok!" Roman was trying to wrap his head around why his Pa who was very reserved had tears streaking down his face.

"Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?"

"Haven't you seen the news?"

"...What did I miss.."

Pa just passed Roman his phone and everything started to make sense.

******

There comes a time where a person would resort to mindless substance to try and escape the cold, unforgiving reality of life.

Well, Roman was clocking his fourth hour on twitter so you knew where he was emotionally.

He didn't want to get up. He didn't need to either. Both of his parents were going to out for a while anyway.

Putting down the phone (He gotten sick of staring at it) and deciding to move to the living room wh-

Are those stones?

"Princey!"

Roman walked up to the window and drew the blinds open. The emo was stood on his steps with his headphones, accompanied with a purple and black leather jacket.

Disgusting A̛̮̠̞̰̔̆̂D̙̺̓͛ORẴ̧̹̯͞B̖͓̐͟͠͠L̡̞̍̃E̡̯̮̿͘͞

"Why are you here Jack Smelligton?"

"Wow, you upgraded to insults that have four syllables, ten points to ravenclaw!"

The attacked emitted a sound that could only be described as offended princey noises.

"How I am-"

Virgil pressed his finger on Roman's lips.

"Ravenclaws are witty, competitive and creative. For the fact that you have an endless supply of nicknames for me and you always try to out do your last attempt to piss me off, you would meet the criteria."

If he doesn't H̨̻͖̣̥̐̂̒͂̎I̯͈͐̈́S̯̪̯̆̔̋ ̭̤͆͌͑͢Ș̭͑̊K͈̈Ì̬̖̙͈̅̍͡N̟̤͎͔̊̈͌͒ ̞̃I͇̪͊̑S̗̍ ̺̬̦̔̉̓Ś̩͍̄O̠̎ ͕̙̟̓̄̾S̥̊O̢̭̿͡F̨͕̭̔̈́̽-͖̲̭̩̂̅̾̆move his fingers off my mouth, I'm gonna break them.  

Almost on cue with the thought, he removed it.

"I'm going to repeat my question, why are you here?"

Virgil took a step back and did a little chuckle to himself, with a shrug of shoulder that seemed custom fit.

God he's  G̻͈̪̱̑̂̕͞O͈͐D̞̞̻̀͊̃ ͌͜Ț͖̱͐̀̏͢͡H̞̒Ȧ̺̳͞Ṱ̃'͈̦͕͌̔͌͊͟S̬̀ ̨̢̫̬̤́̄̓͗͛S̹̺͉̭̉̀̔͗̿ͅẸ̫͒͞X͎̟̥̹̀̾̓͒Y̧̢̫͙͌̒̾͞  - insufferable.

"Because even I, your sworn enemy and nemesis til death drags us part, don't think that you should grieve over someone who isn't even dead."

"You mean-"

"Trust me, Remy is very much alive."

******

"How did you even find my house?"

"That's the most pressing question on your mind right now?"

"It truly isn't but let me start with the small ones before the big ones emerge."

Virgil was lying on the couch with his sneakers touching the furniture. Roman had let him in after claiming that Remy still had a pulse. He was scrolling through his feed and according to Roman's peripheral vision, it seemed to be tumblr.

("He actually uses the Queue?")

("Did you say anything?"

("Nothing you need to know.")

("You sound like Janus.")

Roman  glared at his feet.

"Take off your shoes if you are going to lay on the armrest."

"Fine!" He flinged his shoes at the other. It stained Roman's white tee.

"God, I hate you."

He pulled out both his earbuds and shots some finger guns at him.

"Right back at yah!"

Xia walked over and sat on the ottoman facing Lunaper.

"Let's get down to business-"

"TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!"

"Seriously, what do you mean 'Remy is very much alive', everyone with access to the internet saw what happened to him."

Virgil looked around, almost like he was scared of being seen or spotted or heard.

Did his eyes just change color?

"Look, I can't really tell you.."

"I'm getting sick of asking this, why are you here then?"

Virgil didn't respond.

"Why exactly are you here if you aren't going to try and explain-hmmmmm!"

Lunaper's was currently gagging his mouth with jacket.

" Stop speaking so loud."

Roman peered at the other.

"Whamt, ets not like whemre being watched."

"I'm just being- wait, give me a sec."

Virgil took the loose strand of Roman's hair and swiped it to the left.

I̛͇̜̺̦̎͐͠ ̘̂WA̹͍͘͡N̢̟͉̑̕͠T ͉̠̲̲̿̾͒̊T̥̮̍͞Ȏ̺̐͢ ̛̤̬̲̪̉́̏K̖̗̃̓I̧͕̫̩̼̔̎̃̀̇S̩̫̏̓S̙͛ ̧̫̞̒̇̕H͓̯́̋́ͅI͈̻͙̋͜͠͞͠M,͍͉͍̼͌̌̆͆ ͓̭̦̾͒̅I͓͇̹̩͚͂͐͑͡͡ ̥̑W̹̰̯͈͛͛̾͛A̞̲̩̎̍͞N̳̟̻͆̄̚T̢̛̖̏ ͓̋T͉̪͐̓O͇̤̝͛͂̿ Ć͉̯͛AṞ̳̠̈̄͘E̼͎̞͇͊͗͋́̕͟Ș̆Ṣ̈ ̡̨̡̗͕̊̂̂̓͠F͎̏Ặ̼̯̠̅͊́C̫̜̾̉E̢̟̣͎̱̿̾͒͌͒,̣̠́́ ̡͇̪͑̊̃͟͞Ì̼͕͙̥̤͑̆́̕ ͇͗W̧̫͉̘̉̃͘͡Ă̟̘͝N͉̊T̫̟͐̄ ̢͋T̞̃O ̨̡̀̆̄͑͜ͅĎ̢̦̖̤͑̂̕Ä̝̯̪́̒̚͜͠N̹͔̘͇̔̉̐̐C̥̔E̪̖̝͉̱͋̎̾̔̒ ̡̻̤̀͐̉̄͜WǏ̜̩̟́̀͒͜T̙̆H̥̆ ̟͍͔̈́̆̕H̪̣̽̐I̡̺̯͌̑́M̨̪̩̱̜͆̏̌̋̕ ̖͎̀̚'̯͉̅̀T͔̦͇̙̔̾̊͜͠͡I͎̤̞͔̥̎̿́̚͝L̜̥̅̑ ̛͔͖̰̌͌̚͢Ș̘̗̀̿̎U͔͗N͕͓͊̆̋ͅ ̪̪̟͌̒͒̂͜R̲̻̪̋͊̅̏͟Ì̪SḔ̙͟,̨̰̩͚͒̈͂̚ ̧̜̱̀̆́̊͜

"Fumck!"

The emo removed the make-shift gag.

"Are you ok?"

Xia moved his hands to his temple to try and relieve the pain.

,̨̰̩͚͒̈͂̚ ̧̜̱̀̆́̊͜Ỉ͈ ̳̣̙̗̊̒̓̚W͕̐A̱̙̣̙͛̎̎̀̓͜N̫̳̔͘T̰̜̝͌͛̀ ̲̃T̯̮̪͗̋̒Ỏ̗ ̩̞̝̊̎̋H̛̭̺̥͛̚OL̛͎̝̹͇̂̀̚D ̹̰̬̈̚͝H̤̫͙̅̔͝Ị̞̱̓̾̚Ḿ̞,̾͢ ̲̟̹̫͆͐͑̅I Ẃ̪̫͘Ã͢Ņ̹̋́Ț̛͍̒ ̰̭͕̏̇̔T̛̬̲͋O͈͒ ̬̂Ṭ̛̣̓̍͢O͕̩̟̎̄̐͌̕͟͟U̖͌̽͢C̰͕̈̽H ̲̝̦̱̄͂̚͡H͕̳͒̈́IM̡̱͖͗̎͆, ͔͞I͖̰̽͠-̢̘̜̹͚̄͗̑̑͡

"FUCK, EVERYTHING HURTS, IT HURTS TO THINK, IT HURTS TO SPEAK, I JUST WANT THE PAIN TO END!"

"PRINCEY!"

"MAKE IT STOP, WHY WON'T IT STOP?"

"PRINCEY!"

"IT HURTS, IT REALLY DOES!"

"ROMAN!"

And just for a second the voices stopped, they stopped stabbing and scratching and just stayed still.

Just for a second.

"FUUCCKK-"

"ROMAN," Virgil took his face into his hands. "Roman, please open your eyes, I need to check something."

Following the instructions ( He didn't remember even closing them) he was met with pools of space and stars and a galaxy of colors that were now the eyes of Virgil and not the chestnut brown he seen less than two minutes ago.

“You have a veil, you actually have a veil..”

“ The fuck does that mean, Surly Temple?”

“It means that someone has blocked something from your conscious thoughts.”

“What?”

“That’s not important, what is would be the fact that you’re going to want to bite onto something because this is going to hurt and I don’t want the neighbours getting any ideas.”

For the second time that day, Lunaper stuff his jacket into Roman’s mouth.

“I’m sorry..”

Even with the jacket the screech the Xia made would probably beat his Pa’s infamous falsehood.But with the pain gone and the veil dropped he could now see everything so much clearer.

So the moment when Virgil took the gag out of his mouth, he pulled him close and claimed his lips.

[yandere-society]

Yandere! JK when you want to get a divorce? Thank you so much!

To Annual an Annulment

Warnings; Yandere/husband Jungkook, blackmail, personality switch

Admin/writer; Chinkbihh

Words; 1.9k

“I love you so much that nothing can matter to me- not even you...Only my love- not your answer.  Not even your indifference.”

The pounding of your racing heart echoed within your own ear drums.  

The sound like a rythameric drum leading up to a battle, a war cry suited for you and your nerves at the moment.  

Said nervous system was overworked, causing you to leak cold sweat and stress induced quivers.  Faintly, you could also hear the slight rustle of papers that were in your hand. Your shaky state having caused the noise to join your pounding heart.  

Out of a nervous tick, you bit your lip and let the weight of the situation rest upon your meager shoulders.  To really let the mass crush you ever so gently…

Yet, you fought back the urge to run away with every ounce of willpower you had left.

This was going to be the toughest part.  

But you couldn’t back down now.

Too much was on the line.

An image of what your life would be like if you just continued to be a doormat flashed in your mind’s eye for a second.  The prediction causing you to cringe as it depicted the future as not bright at all. Despite wanting to curl into bed and cry, you reminded yourself that you had to push through for the sake of your own wellbeing.  

Survival instincts began to kick in.

With a new spark of determination, you glared at the strong wood of the mahogany door.  You knew what laid behind it, but you still rattled a knock against it nonetheless.

“Come in.”  His dulcet voice called out, a tad muffled from the barrier between you two.

You took a deep breath and opened the door to step into his office.

And what an office it was.

It was crisp and modern with greys and blacks.  Very minimalist decoration besides the small longue sofa to the left of the room and the fireplace in front of it. Behind the marble desk (where he sat) was one glass wall, depicting the marvelous city skyline and the wealth of the man who called this his office.  

The quiet clicking of fingers on a keyboard rang quietly within the four walls.  

You took a deep breath.

And stepped further into the lion’s den.  

The typing stopped as your husband looked up from the screen of his computer to see who the visitor was.  

His face was cold and sharp until he identified who you were.  

“Baby! Did you come to get lunch with me? Cindy didn’t tell me you were here.  I should really fire her, you know?” Jungkook’s called out excitedly as his face melted into an expression that he only revealed around you; loved-sick and dazed.  

Doe eyes filled with sugary molasses as they adored you with a foggy film over the orbs.  His impish nose scrunched up cutely at you like one would do with a baby when cooing at them.  Those pink lips of his puckered up while his face melted into a softer and more cherub shape as he gazed up at you.

Normally, any wife would be grateful for their husbands to still look at them like that.

But it only succeeded in striking fear into your heart.  

He was infatuated with you.  

And there was no way that he was going to let you go without a fight of some sort.  

You nervously shifted your weight from one foot to another as you tried to avoid his eyeline.  Jungkook was very observant when matters came to you and if he sensed a problem before you did….god have mercy.

“Um, a-actually I wanted to talk.”  You told him. Jungkook’s scrunched his brows in slight confusion at what could possibly be bothering the love of his life.  He waited on you hand and foot, it was his job to make sure nothing bothered you. He patted his lap in motion for you to sit on it, but you quietly took one of the seats in front of his desk; pretending you didn’t notice the anger tick of his tongue pushing against his cheek.  

“What is it love?”  

Like ripping off a band-aid, you decided that quick and ruthless was the best strategy.  

“I need you to sign these divorce papers.”  

The once powerful and confident posture of the CEO crumpled before your very eyes.  His broad shoulders slackened as his face dropped any emotion that wasn’t directly related to devastation.  Jaw dropped, his eyes bore into yours with the depression of a suicidal maniac who lost everything.

The silence hung in the air for a moment, each passing second causing the apprehension to grow.

“W-what?” His eyes matched his voice, watery and broken.  His face looked like the reaction to someone telling him that world war three had finally broke out.  In this case, these two things were equal causes for ruin in his book. Although losing you was a bit more hellish to him.

Not being able to bring yourself to words, you simply stood up and plopped the papers onto the desk before him.  Broken from his frozen trance, he hurriedly snatched the papers into his hold and furiously ran over each line. As if he suspected that it wasn’t real or that you were trying to prank him in some awful way.  That a ‘just kidding!’ was hiding somewhere in the fine print.

His eyes reached the bottom of the paper where his signature was needed, but instead of grabbing a pen and fulfilling the duty, he just looked back up at you in neck-breaking speed.  

“Are you serious?”  

You nodded.  

In a rush of movement that was almost too fast for your eyes to process, Jungkook ran around the desk and got onto his knees before you.  Your clammy hands were now put into his as he craned his neck to look back up at you. Tears were trailing down his face and hitting the floor, causing a beginning stages of a puddle to form underneath you two.  

“Baby, you’re not thinking straight.  We can talk about this. Couples have obstacles all the time, that doesn’t mean we have to give up when we face another one.  It’s just a rough patch but we’ll fight our way through it. I’ll die without you, can’t you see?!” He was blubbering like a fool as the thoughts and pleads seem to come to his head at more efficiency than they could leave his mouth.  

“Jungkook...this marriage isn’t healthy.”  You tried to be the voice of reason. But this seemed to trigger another chorus of moans and groans as a man who had everything continued break down in front of you.  

“Why?!  At least tell me why?”  He demanded, his face beginning to burn with frustration.  

You held back your own annoyance.  You thought it was self-explanatory, but Jungkook had tunnel vision with you.  He only saw you and nothing else, something you had to learn the hard way whilst in the relationship.  Nonetheless, you wanted to voice your reason for leaving, if only for your own conscious when looking back at this day.

“Jungkook, you cannot try to limit my communication with my friends and family while expecting me to be okay with it.  That’s manipulation. That’s you trying to isolate me. And I don’t want a husband who does that.”

Another moment of silence.

Still on his knees, Jungkook bowed his head and obstructed your view of his face.  The cries had stopped as he dropped your hands from his hold.

Then...a sound.

A dry chuckle deep from within his chest.

Your eyes widened in fear as you took a step back in horror.  

He had switched.

Jungkook slowly got up to his feet, head still bowed as he brushed off the imaginary dust from his slacks.  When he looked up to face you, the traces of a pathetic man were nowhere to be seen. The only evidence was perhaps the slight puffiness and redness of his eyes, tears long gone and replaced with a wicked smile.  He quirked a brow at you and shows off his pearly whites.

“Fair enough then.”  He rumbled, before walking back to the other side of his desk.  

You watched with suspicion as he grabbed a pen and leaned over the paper to inspect it a bit more closely.  There was not way that it was going to be this easy...

Was he really going to sign it?  

“Who is your lawyer?”  Jungkook asked, eyes not leaving the legal form.  

The question struck you as odd but you supposed it was somewhat relevant in the divorce setting.  You licked your lips and responded, “Anthony Platt.”

He uncapped the pen.  “Never heard of him before.”  

The small talk was odd enough to cause more tension.  Something wasn’t right.

“He’s a small time lawyer.”  You lamely responded. You couldn’t afford a high class one because you had to go out of your own pocket to hire one.  How could you divorce a husband by a hiring a lawyer with his own money?

“I suppose this is his information right here?”  He pointed to a section on the paper. You just shrugged, obviously your lawyer formed the documents so his name and number would be in there somewhere….

Jungkook finally put pen to paper.  

Except it wasn’t on the divorce papers.  

It was on a notepad.  

You stepped closer in befuddlement to see what he was copying.  

Your jaw dropped as you saw him jotting down your lawyers info.

“What are you doing?!”  You shrieked, cool lost.  

Jungkook continued to scribble down what he could, not once looking back up to you.  

“I want to have a talk with your lawyer.”  

The threat was there as you knew what ‘talk’ meant in Jungkook’s dictionary.  

“Jungkook, stop this!  I don’t want your money or anything, I just want to stop being your wife and to live my life! Is that too much to ask for?!  Just let me go!” You exploded, two years of pent up resentment finally taking its’ toll.

Jungkook stood up and snatched the divorce papers, staring you dead in the soul with the iciness that could rival Antarctica itself.

“No, I can’t just ‘let you go’.  It’s really cute that you think I can though.  If you wanted to go to court, you know that my company has a board of eight lawyers with lots of experience just waiting to crush yours’.  And even after we are divorced, I still have ways to get to you.”

With the papers in his hand, he stalked to the left side of the office.  

His next words caused your blood to run cold as a picture was painted for you.  One where Jungkook lost his wife and is willing to do anything to get her back.

“It would be a shame if something happened to your friends.  It would also be a shame if your parents lost their home because they failed to pay their property taxes that their son-in-law had been covering.  And it would be a shame if your siblings were to have trouble at school. It’s a crazy world out there darling. Best you have me by your side.”

He crumpled the papers and tossed them into the fireplace.  

Then he turned to face you, voice chipper and face joyful as he said,

“Now that this silly business if over with, we can go get lunch.  And you can tell me all about this lawyer who thought he could steal my baby from me.”  

(Chinkbihh here, please let me know what you thought of this piece. I thrive off feedback bc I NEED VALIDATION ARIES SEASON SIS.  Please send more requests to me and my lovely admins and I hope you all have a great day.)

[illwork4anime]

Excerpt from Done with Love Ch 7

Ships: Shikasaku, Kakasaku

Scene: While visiting and art gallery with Shikamaru, Ino and Sai for her genjutsu training,  Sakura seeks forgiveness from Shikamaru and grapples with how to describe her feelings for him.

[FF | AO3]

She was so bored.

When the four of them had gotten to the Art gallery, Sai had quickly explained that all the pictures on display tonight had been based off of the Ogura Hyakunin Isshu,the famous 100 poets waka poems, but that was all he got out before Ino had whisked him away. Sakura hadn't gotten his help decoding a single picture before that. Now she was on her own.

This training was the absolute worst. None of these paintings drove any kind of emotional response from her. It was just a picture. And half the poems she didn't even get. Still, she dutifully tried, standing minutes in front of each one and jotting down notes. Journaling again.

Shikamaru, her only source of entertainment for the evening was sulking on a bench in the corner, apparently still angry with her.

She felt ridiculous now in this stupid dress. Ino had been completely wrong about her 'dressing up' being the key to him forgiving her. Not that she'd expected anything different, but she'd expected some kind of reaction. She looked good, damn it, but he had hardly even glanced at her, let alone spoken to her.

She glances back to Shikamaru again and does a double take. Was he sleeping?

She huffs. Unbelievable.

She decides not to tell him she's moving on to a different room. Good riddance. She's not staying another second because if she has to look at another Cherry Blossom tree in this spring themed room, she's going to set this place on fire.

The next room is summer poems, it seems. A glance around the room and she sees river scenes, mountain paths, landscapes. She sighs again. Here we go.

She turns to begin, but a familiar scene catches her eye. She walks to it, across the room.

The canvas is modest compared to the others around it. It's a simple forest scene, but not just any forest. She knows it in her bones that this is Nara forest.

The familiar green canopy his filtering light down onto a mess of ferns, giving them an ethereal glow. A fallen tree in the center of is covered in moss and small floral weeds. Bedded down against the bark, a deer spotted with white is resting, stretching its neck up as if taking in the glittering sun.

That's her forest. Her chest lightens, feeling that usual calm settle over her. She walks to the center of the room where benches are lined up for people to sit and enjoy that work from afar.

She sits, observing every little detail, but doesn't write a single word. She doesn't need too.

People come and go in front of her, taking in the painting for a moment or two before moving on to the larger, grander landscapes. People who took minutes staring at the pink petals of the portraits in the last room. She wonders how they can't appreciate this one the same way.

Maybe they'd never really been and that's why the passed by.

She doesn't know how long she's been staring at it - minutes, hours – but its apparently long enough for Shikamaru to come check on her.

"Are you done?" he asks, plopping down on the bench next to her.

"Not yet," she says, not sparing him a glance. Her arms are crossed and she's tapping the end of her pen against her lips thoughtfully.

"Do you recognize this place?" she says, turning to him. His gaze darts away from hers. She's caught him staring.

"Looks like my back yard," he grumbles, looking it over for a few seconds.

"I thought so too," she murmurs, turning her eyes back to it. They sit in silence a bit more.

"How long have you been staring at this thing?" He asks.

"I'm not sure," she answers absently.

"What's the big deal? You see this place every day." Shikamaru says, sliding his hands into his pockets.

"I know, but its never enough," she says with a sly glance and a soft smile. "I'd stay there forever if you'd let me."

Again, his eyes dart away from hers and his cheeks flush.

"Don't say things like that." Shikamaru, grumbles and she's not sure why he's angry again.

"Why are you being so grumpy tonight?" she huffs, fed up with his attitude.

"Forget it," he grumbles, standing. "Just let me know when you're finished."

He's walking to the corner of the room again and she follows this time.

"You're still mad at me, and I don't even know why." She says, and he doesn't answer, but slouches down into a chair, content to ignore her.

"I already apologized, didn't I?" She says, "What else do you want me to do?"

"I want you to finish this so I can go home." He pouts, leaning on his hand.

"Just go home now then, Shikamaru. I'm not making you stay." She huffs, hands on her hips.

"Fine," he says, shooting up out of his chair. "Don't bother coming for training tomorrow. Maybe you should just focus on your research since that's so important to you."

She bristles. "What's that supposed to mean?"

His gaze slides to her, "Don't play dumb, Sakura. It doesn't suit you."

"This is about him, isn't it?" Sakura grinds out. "Kakashi."

He stiffens. "Not everything is about him."

"I should be saying that to you." She scoffs, "Look, I get it. He's not perfect. He probably made a dumb mistake with Kurenai and you have every right to be pissed for Asuma's sake, but holding grudges-,"

"I said it's not that," he interrupts.

"Then tell me what it is about," she says and he scowls.

"Just forget it, Sakura. It's too troublesome," he sighs, walking away from her again.

"You don't mean that," she says catching his hand. "I can't stand fighting with you, Shikamaru. I want to fix this so just tell me how."

Something in her gaze finally breaks through to him and he lets out a long breath, eyes dropping to the floor.

"I just," he huffs, rubbing a frustrated hand against the back of his neck, "I wish you would have trusted me enough to tell me what happened, like you did him." Shikamaru doesn't have to say Kakashi's name for her to know.

"I should have." She agrees. She felt like such garbage for hurting his feelings like that. He had helped her through a panic attack, held her hair back when she'd puked her guts out and she couldn't even tell him why he'd had to do it. He's just worrying again about her, caring about her. She was such garbage. "I'll tell you anything you want now. Just ask. I promise."

He studies her face, watching the thoughts and regret flit across. She expects him to ask why she didn't tell him, what exactly was going on with Kenta, but he doesn't.

"Do you love him?" he asks, but its more vulnerable than she expects. She's taken aback but knows better than to question why he's asked.

"Kakashi?" she asks, and when he nods, she says automatically. "Of course, I do. He's like family to me."

His shoulders sag, and he can't look her in the eyes.

"And what am I to you?" he murmurs, hands sliding into his pockets.

She pauses, again taken aback by the question. Friends comes to her first, but the fit of it isn't quite right. He was more than that. Best friends? Too childish. Plus, he had Choji and she had Ino. The relationship wasn't the same.

A mentor? No, that sounded like he was above her and he wasn't. He was her rock, dependable and strong. That was way to cheesy though.

Why was this so difficult?

"I-I don't know," she stammers. He sighs.

"Let me know when you figure it out." He's walking away again. She won't let him.

"Wait," she calls, grabbing hold of his hand, "Let me show you."

Like this? Read more here:

Done With Love - [FF | AO3]

[incorrigible-rapscallion]

A SERIAL KILLER’S GUIDE TO MEN AND MANSLAUGHTER -- Script (pgs. 24-30)

[pgs 1-2; 3-7; 7-14; 14-23]

INT. HARRIET'S ENTRYWAY - LATE NIGHT

David, Achilles, and Harriet crowd together in the entryway, Harriet shucks off her opera coat with restless energy.

               AUNT HARRIET    That was certainly an evening. I haven't seen anyone so explosive and irate about a topic in quite some time. I admire that man's passion, but his tactics were more on par with schoolyard guerrilla warfare.

               DAVID    I think I'm going to turn in for the night, if you don't mind.

               AUNT HARRIET    Of course, bambino. Let me know if there is anything else you need.

David nods then shuffles up the stairs with Achilles. Harriet huffs and shakes her head with a small smile.

INT. GUEST BEDROOM - SAME TIME

The guest bedroom is styled like a Victorian farmhouse.

David collapses on the bed, fully clothed. Achilles whines, but David is already out cold.

MONTAGE: DREAMSCAPE #1

Images of David's interactions from the day's events replay on fast-forward in David's sleep. Each encounter is coupled with the observations that he jotted down in his notebook.

Thomas is the star of this dreamscape, as the meeting at the butchery begins at the same rapid pace as the other interactions, but slows down once it settles on the eye contact he made at the town hall.

A sequence of implausible scenarios involving Thomas in the act of killing someone are added to David's memory:

   -Thomas stabbing Mr. Lancaster like a grotesque greeting at the butchery    -Thomas slitting Lily's throat instead as he walks past her    -Thomas immediately rushing David into a strangle-hold, both at the butchery and as they crossed paths at the town hall

All of the killings are concluded by a flirtatious wink.

                                                                                               END OF MONTAGE

INT. GUEST BEDROOM - LATE AFTERNOON

David wakes sharply in an uncomfortable position, still dressed in his clothes from yesterday.

Light streams in David's eyes from the bedroom window. Harriet is in the room, opening the curtains.

               AUNT HARRIET    I was about to get the smelling salts if you didn't wake up. Normally, I wouldn't mind a reasonable bout of lethargy, but you have dinner with a fine and distinguished gentleman in the next thirty minutes.

David tosses and turns until Achilles comes to his bedside. David grunts in response and Harriet leaves the room.

INT. HARRIET'S ENTRYWAY - LATE AFTERNOON

David stands impassively as Harriet gives him a "once over."

               AUNT HARRIET    You and I both know that this is the change you came here for.

               DAVID    I didn't want to talk about that last night and I definitely don't want to talk about that now.

               AUNT HARRIET    Then talk about it with your date.

INT. RESTAURANT ENTRANCE - EARLY EVENING

David and Achilles stand in front of a RESTAURANT HOST. The place is whimsically styled after an Italian chateau.

               HOST    You're here for the reservation under "Harriet Truelove," yes? We were expecting you. The other member of your party is already seated.

David peruses the RESTAURANT PATRONS until he sees Thomas.

Once again, the ambient noises and other people fade away as David's breathing escalates. Achilles then calms him down.

Thomas locks eyes with David and smiles in recognition.

               HOST    If you'll follow me, sir?

               DAVID    I'd rather seat myself, if you don't mind.

INT. RESTAURANT - TABLE FOR TWO - EVENING

Thomas stands as David and Achilles approach the cozy table setting.

Achilles sniffs at Thomas' outreached hand and allows to be petted. Immediately, Achilles becomes docile and rolls over on the restaurant floor for a belly rub.

David watches, horrified, and stops breathing. This prompts Achilles to leap back up in order to lick at David's hand.

Once satisfied, Achilles lays down at David's feet. David gapes at this behavior and sits down at the table.

Thomas hovers with a cheerful expression before sitting too.

               THOMAS    I must admit, I had hoped you would be the mysterious stranger that Ms. Truelove was so adamant about my meeting. I was honest when you came in my shop--I am a dyed-in-the-wool fan of your work.

               DAVID    I suppose you feel that my characters are nuanced and my killers all have realistic motivations.

               THOMAS    Yes, but I feel that that is only skimming the surface when appreciating your writing techniques.

               DAVID    I'm flattered that you've spent so much time analyzing...me.

               THOMAS    Interesting, because you don't sound as though you're flattered.

               DAVID    I have a difficult time socializing and making small talk.

               THOMAS    I'm well aware of your background with your advocacy projects for children and students with special needs. I know that you yourself experienced a discriminatory education growing up.

               DAVID    "Discriminatory" is one way of putting it. Some would say "illegal" by today's standards.

A WAITER comes to the table to deliver a wine sampler tray and a shared appetizer plate.

Thomas gestures for David to eat first, but David declines.

               DAVID    I'm fine with water for now.

               THOMAS    Fair enough. But the tenderloin will pair nicely with the red, if you change your mind.

               DAVID    I take it the tenderloin comes from your own butchery?

               THOMAS    You caught me. I was hoping to impress you by picking a restaurant that exclusively uses my choice cuts. I also hope you don't mind that I ordered ahead for us.

               DAVID    I doubt that I have any choice in the matter anyway.

               THOMAS    Please understand, that wasn't my intention. I simply wanted to demonstrate that I am just as proficient in my own area of expertise as you are.

David takes some food from the appetizer, but doesn't eat it. Thomas picks at his own selection, eating delicately.

They remain in silence until the Waiter comes back to remove their dishes and set down their entree plates.

               THOMAS    I apologize if I said something to upset you in any way. I feel a little out of my element tonight.

               DAVID    You mean that you are able to charm everyone that you take out on a date?

               THOMAS    I confess that I actually don't date very often. I simply meant that dinners and lively discussions are usually my forte. It's why I wanted to be a butcher in the first place--I wanted to understand the fine details that make up a memorable meal.

               DAVID    That's a...tasteful answer.

               THOMAS    And you said you couldn't make small talk!

               DAVID    I really can't. The opportunity presented itself, so....

They lapse into silence again. David still keeps a stoic expression, but Thomas grins anytime they lock eyes.

Both dinner and dessert pass by. The Waiter delivers the check to Thomas for him to look over.

               THOMAS    It looks all good to go. My compliments to the chef.

The Waiter nods and leaves with check, without payment.

David pauses with his credit card and wallet out.

               DAVID    I assumed I would be paying for my half...?

               THOMAS    Of course not. This meal was on the house. All of mine are, considering...

               DAVID    I can at least leave the tip. It was excellent service.

               THOMAS    It always is.

David trades out his card for cash, places it on the table, then stands ungracefully with Achilles. Thomas follows suit.

               THOMAS    Even though this was a less-than-ideal date, I want you to know that I truly enjoyed your company. Perhaps I could convince you to take another chance?

               DAVID    Perhaps. In the meantime, I have some business to take care of. But I'll be sure to let know.

               THOMAS    That's all I could hope for. I'll be waiting.

David nods stiffly and exits with Achilles at his heels.

               DAVID        (mumbling)    Please don't.

EXT./INT. DAVID'S CAR - NIGHT - TRAVELING

David drives throughout the town of Pleasant Grove at night. Achilles sits in the passenger seat.

David white-knuckles the steering wheel and gear shift as neon store signs and street lamps pass over his troubled face.

MONTAGE: DREAMSCAPE #2

David, once again, replays images of day's events--this time featuring his blind date dinner.

Key images that David focuses on are:

   -Thomas seated at their table, waiting for David to arrive    -Achilles rolling on the floor with oddly docile behavior    -Thomas with a cheerful expression    -Thomas with a concerned expression    -Thomas with a vacant expression    -Thomas cutting into the meal's tenderloin with a steak knife

This segues into another sequence of implausible scenarios involving Thomas killing someone during their dinner:

   -Thomas breaking Achilles' neck while the dog waits for a belly rub    -Thomas grabbing the Waiter's pen and stabbing it in their neck    -Thomas lunging across the table to, once again, strangle David

Like before, all of the killings are concluded with a flirtatious wink.

                                                                                               END OF MONTAGE

David has stopped breathing and Achilles licks at his hand on the gear shift. David then pets Achilles' head, almost aggressively, as he calms down.

David notices that the lights are on inside the PLEASANT GROVE POLICE STATION as he approaches it at an intersection.

David abruptly pulls into the parking lot.

               DAVID        (to Achilles)    Let's do the fandango, buddy.

He exits the car with Achilles and single-mindedness.

[365daysofsasuhina]

[ @sasuhinamonth || SasuHina Month 2019 || Day Thirty: Rockstar AU ] [ Uchiha Sasuke, Hyūga Hinata, Uchiha Itachi, Yūhi Kurenai ] [ SasuHina ] [ Verse: The World’s a Stage ] [ AO3 Link ]

“...I’m sorry. You want me to what…?”

Across the table from his younger brother, Itachi rests one leg atop the other, fingers steepled as he leans back, elbows on the arms of his chair. Exasperation tinged with amusement colors his facial features. “I want you to do this collaboration.”

Sasuke just scoffs. “You realize who you’re talking about, right? Hinata Hyūga is a ditzy pop star princess. I’m a rocker, Itachi. We’re about as compatible as ketchup and chocolate.”

“There’s surely a fan of that combination somewhere,” Itachi can’t help but tease.

“You know what I mean, Itachi. There’s probably not much crossover between our fanbases. No one from either side is gonna be excited about the other. What’s the point?”

“Diversifying isn’t always a bad thing,” the elder counters, still relaxed even as Sasuke scowls. “Look...you trust my judgment, don’t you?”

“Would you be my manager if I didn’t?” Sasuke retorts, unable to help the sass. “But this still sounds pointless.”

“Duets are surging in popularity,” Itachi explains, sitting up and planting both feet on the floor. “It would benefit you both to expand into it, even if only temporarily. And genres aren’t so black and white as you think. Just because you as a rocker don’t enjoy pop music doesn’t mean others don’t like both. You’d be surprised.”

Rolling his eyes, Sasuke sags back in his chair. “...all right. Where’s the music coming from?”

“I thought a cover would work best. No needing to take time writing something from scratch. Something that can blend a bit of both of your styles. I’ve asked around, and several people - after considering it - agreed your voices would mesh well. It would be something a bit more...ballad-like. Consider it a happy medium between your types of music.”

A ballad, huh…? Well, he’s done a few of those. “...not gonna be romantic, is it?”

“We’ll decide on a project once she meets with us. We’re not making all the calls, after all.”

“Ugh, really…?”

“Yes, really. It’s only fair, Sasuke. Besides, it’s not set in stone - you still have to get a feel for each other. See if your compatibility will work once the mics are on.”

Sasuke sighs, arms loosely folded as he continues to sink into his chair. “All right, fine. When are we doing this?”

“Next week. I wanted to give you a bit of a warning to prepare yourself.”

“More like sit and dread it for seven days.”

“Honestly, Sasuke...it’s hardly about to kill you. I’ve actually spoken to her a bit already myself, and she seems very pleasant. I think you’ll like her.”

“You like everybody, Itachi.”

“Not true.”

“True enough.”

Once he leaves his little conference with his brother, Sasuke retreats back to his apartment, and starts doing research. While not the top thing in pop right now, a bit new to the scene, Hinata’s been making a few waves. Marketed a bit heavily due to her doll-like appearance - big eyes, curves, long dark hair, fair skin - she’s proven to actually be pretty talented in the art of singing, despite early critics assuming she was nothing more than a pretty face attempting to cash in on another avenue. A model as a teen, she’s since graduated to her vocal career.

Her Instagram is fairly typical, though Sasuke’s surprised to find it a bit more...chaste than many others like her he’s checked in on. No swimsuit or lingerie shots. Just pictures of her life, of concerts, family...pretty normal, all things considered.

Looking over her face in a selfie, Sasuke tries to read it to gauge her personality. Unlike many, he doesn’t really see any flaky fakeness to her expression. A few shots make her look a little weary, but...well, he’s heard the fashion industry isn’t kind. He’ll blame the look on that for now, until he meets her.

He’ll...begrudgingly keep his mind open. For now.

To his surprise, they meet in a rather neutral place: the recording studio. Figuring it’s subtle encouragement from both of their managers, he takes an easy seat once they arrive first. A scant five minutes later, Hinata and her second arrive: a rather intimidating-looking woman named Kurenai.

Itachi greets them both politely, a practiced smile on his face. “Sasuke, this is Hinata Hyūga, and her manager Kurenai Yūhi.”

“Hey,” he greets lazily, ignoring his brother’s disapproving look.

“Pleasure,” Kurenai cuts in, tone a bit biting at the lack of manners.

“It’s nice to meet you, Sasuke.” Hinata then offers.

“Are we sure this is really going to work?” Kurenai then asks, arms folding. “He doesn’t look particularly motivated.”

“Wasn’t aware I had to be gung-ho every moment of every day,” Sasuke retorts. “We’re just here to talk, right?”

Before her second can argue, Hinata steps in. “This doesn’t have to be super formal, right? We’re just...testing the waters. Everyone does things a little differently.”

Kurenai just huffs, not looking convinced.

“...well,” Itachi then offers, trying to restore the peace. “I thought we could go over a few samples of tracks we thought might work, and see how things go…? Nothing has to be decided tonight: it’s just a test of chemistry and seeing if we can come up with something that would suit you both.”

“Sure thing,” Sasuke agrees, sitting up as Itachi begins the playlist through the studio speakers. The group listens quietly, occasionally commenting or running things back for another listen.

“...so, any preferences?”

“I like the third one,” Sasuke notes, having jotted down what called out to him. “And the, uh...eighth? I think?”

“I like that one too,” Hinata offers. “Six was good, also.”

“Well...it’s a bit late to do run-throughs now, but we have time tomorrow if you’re free…?” Itachi hints.

“We can compare schedules,” Kurenai agrees, stepping aside to talk as Itachi follows.

That leaves the singers.

“...so, eight?”

Sasuke shrugs. “I dunno. None really hit me, but...I like it all right.”

“I’ve done a few ballads, but...yeah, they have to have the right feel to them,” Hinata agrees softly.

“Dunno why they all have to be so...mushy.”

That earns a laugh. “It’s a ballad! Typically it’s either love, or heartbreak.”

“Hn…”

“...well, we’ll give it a try tomorrow. I’ll admit, I’m...eager to see how it sounds,” she offers. “I listened to a few of your tracks...you sing with a lot of passion.”

He pauses. “...thanks. Yours aren’t too bad. I dunno enough about pop to really judge, though…”

“Well...I just like people to think it sounds...fun,” Hinata explains, shrugging. “I want my music to give them a break from whatever’s weighing on them...you know?”

“...guess that makes sense.”

“Hinata,” Kurenai then calls. “Come on, we’ll be back tomorrow.”

“C-coming!” Standing, Hinata gives Sasuke one last smile. “Well...see you then.”

“Yeah. Bye.” The brothers watch them go before exchanging a look.

“...so?”

“...what?”

“What do you think?”

“A bit early to tell. But she’s all right, I guess. Maybe work on a few more options though, in case this one doesn’t work.”

“Oh? Willing to give it that much chance?”

“...might as well, right?”

“...right.”

                                                             .oOo.

     Okay, last thing I can get done tonight. Oof. Tired.      Anyway...yet another cliche. Rocker Sasuke and pop princess Hinata. A bit of an odd combo, but hey, Itachi's right: someone somewhere's gotta like it, right?      Buuut yeah, I need sleep lol - that's all from me for tonight. Back at it tomorrow! Thanks for reading <3