#even though we know that we’ll likely never be able to be openly plural at home with our family

[gumy-shark]

told my mom about being plural. really hope this wasn’t a mistake

[margridarnauds]

A, F, G, M, S, T, V

THANKS AVERY. 

A. If you could rec a piece of music to accompany one of your fics, what would you pick? Why?

 Yakety Sax for Goosefic. 

Alright, seriously? It’s totally not like I have a playlist or something stored anywhere, because that would be insane, right? 

Illuminated by Hurts - Ah, Ça Ira. “Time waits for no one/So do you want to waste some time/Oh, oh, oh, oh/Tonight?” AKA “Ronan realizing that he might not make it back the next day and trying to get Laz to come to bed and reconcile with him, not necessarily because he wants to SLEEP with him, but because he wants his boyfriend there with him. “Swim with your sorrows/And try delusion for a while/It’s such a beautiful lie” Lazare frantically scribbling out his justifications on the paper, even though he has to KNOW that Artois’ going to abandon him and it’s going to be worthless. “Suddenly my eyes are open/Everything comes into focus/Blinding” GENERALLY I get Laz vibes from this line, with him gradually realizing how important Ronan is to him and that some part of him WANTS the new world that Ronan was, but the last few lines also work for Ronan’s (unstated, in-text, but there in canon) decision to charge in front of du Puget, realizing that he HAS to save Olympe from being orphaned like he was. 

Either Dream of Sky (Dancing Line OST) or Forbidden Friendship (HTTYD OST) - Le Cri. Both of them have that sort of tentative, new feeling where things start out so soft and with that kind of innocence but as time goes on, it becomes so much MORE. 

I’ve Seen Hell (North and South OST)/Ashes (Celine Dion) - Pour la Peine. I’ve Seen Hell is one of my go-to Period Drama songs, but I LOVE how it has that bleak feel while also not being COMPLETELY bleak and miserable, there’s that idea of PUSHING through in spite of it. And Ashes also kind of has a similar vibe, as far as openly asking how...there can be any GOOD after that kind of devastating tragedy (even though a part of me will always seen Ryan Reynolds doing interpretive dancing to it, tbh). Ashes is much more...RELIGIOUS in bent than Solène generally goes with, but I think it WORKS as far as that general feeling of despair and abandonment that she starts off with “Every word shot down in flames/What’s left to do/With these broken pieces on the floor?/I’m losing my voice/Calling on you” 

Wicked Game - Personally, I favor it for A Pressing Matter, though it really works for Peyronan in general. “What a wicked game/To make me feel this way/What a wicked thing to do/To make me dream of you” AKA “Peyrol’s ENTIRE thought process when he realizes that, against his own judgement, he’s gotten attached to Ronan and that that’s a MAJOR weakness. 

F. What stories are you planning for the future?

I have. So many WIPS that I’m DYING to release soon. One is very obviously the Fairy Tale AU, which I’m very pumped about. There’s the one that’s just called “Madame Roland is a Lesbian” that I’m excited for. At some point, I’m going to have to expand the Abomination and the Verse it encompasses, stretching from where we start off in the Beauce in 1777 to at LEAST the early 19th century, possibly into the 1840s. 

Between the Waves is going to get a LOT more added to its Verse, hopefully. I already have at least two WIPS that are partially finished and give a little bit more context to things that are happening in the next few chapters, one from Olympe’s perspective on the pre-canon events that stretches to the post, one from Artois’ on some of the events of PLP, and I either have an Afterlife AU, a Reincarnation AU, or both to wrap it up, possibly with us ending up where we began. (No, not on Marat’s printing press.) I’ve also toyed with fleshing out a little more about how Peyronan got to where we see them in A Pressing Matter, to round out the series. Either way, though, I do intend for this to end up being a VERSE, not necessarily just one or two stand-alones. There’s a lot that’s...going to pop up here or there that I INTEND at least to expand on. I rarely like to leave things HANGING like that. 

There’s also the Peasant Lazare AU which, even though it’s basically a laughing stock among my friends IRL at this point, is still very important to me and I’ve never fully given it up. 

I’m definitely going to expand the Ripples in the Rockpool Verse, HOPEFULLY dipping more into the historical events that are happening around this time and a little more on how the OT3 ended up where they get to be in Back on the Shore. 

There’s a Vampire AU that I’ve been toying with back and forth, and I STILL haven’t given up on The Zombie Apocalypse AU, though I’d like to focus on that one more when I have a fewer WIP count and I can more thoroughly outline it. Also @lehetsz-kiraly and I have toyed around with a Superhero AU that I would 100% like to see get off the ground, and I also am totally planning on toying with the TN crossover as time goes on. I obviously have no idea....WHEN or HOW, but it’s somewhere nebulously on my To-Do list. 

And, of course, the Disneyworld AU. One day, I will finish it. 

G. Where do you think you grew the most this year?

Honestly, I think the drabble challenge was a GREAT opportunity to throw myself into a variety of things that I NEVER would have considered before. I’ve gone from EXCLUSIVELY writing 1789 and Irish Mythology stuff to really working with anything that really vibes with me, which has been VERY exciting. And, between Le Cri, A Pressing Matter, and Back on the Shore, I’ve gotten several things that I’ve been talking about and tossing around for YEARS on the page and out there in some form or another. I’m still going to stick around 1789, of course, that’s still my BABY, but I really got the chance to work with a lot of things I’d have never normally have thrown myself into and had the chance to toy with my style in a way that I normally wouldn’t. 

M. Meta! Have any meta about a story you’re dying to throw out there?

Oh God, there’s ONE THING that I WANT to write the meta for but SPOILERS. That I don’t even know if it’s SPOILERS anymore. (I should honestly get into the habit of asking people “SO WHAT DO YOU THINK’S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW” like a thirteen year old who’s just uploaded their first Wattpad fic, but alas). But, since I’m working on PLP at the moment, have this: 

No, she gets no sleep tonight, her eyes locked on the bayonets as they gleam in the moonlight. She lays and waits and thinks.

Several hours later, a shot rings out in the dark. All the demons of Hell break loose, the only thought on Solène’s mind being that of another night, another volley of shots.

They mean to massacre them all.

The Queen has changed the King’s mind again and they will all be killed.

Every part of her knows it, screaming in her mind as they make their way for the Queen’s quarters, all else, all other thoughts disappearing.

A panicked voice asks them what they think they’re doing and another voice, she doesn’t know if it’s hers or one of the women with her, replies, “We’ll cut off her head, rip out her heart, fry her liver, and that won’t be the end of it!”

They are done with this, done with the queen, and they will take whatever they can get.

They have endured too much pain at this point to just curl up and die.

This wasn’t a fight they wanted to begin, but if it was a fight they needed to survive the night, they could give it to them.

They could give and give and give as they had always done, all of their lives.

A few guardsmen try to stop them, but they disappear beneath the wave of bodies flooding the palace. One of them breaks free, runs and pounds on the door, his bloodied hand staining the expensive, gilt wood as it slams against it before he’s tossed aside. “Save the Queen!”

A door slams ahead of them as they reach the room, the room itself is deserted, except for one woman who rushes in front of them all.

“I am the Queen!”

Solène recognizes the voice even before she can see her in the light of the torches, still wearing the clothing that she’d worn the night before, and she freezes.

So, for this section, I ripped a LOT from the historical record, as far as the threats the women made on the life of Marie Antoinette, the guard slamming on the door, the shot in the dark panicking the mob, BUT I also actually did look up at least one article on mob mentality to try to understand HOW someone would get involved with something like this. And the first thing I focused on was the INDIVIDUAL getting pushed aside in favor of the group. And the main way I ended up TRYING to get that to show through was in Solène’s reaction. 

At first, she starts off as a singular: “She lays and waits and thinks” “The only thought on��Solène’s mind,” etc. But then, immediately AFTER that, as the panic sets in, she becomes a PLURAL, “They mean to massacre them all” “They will all be killed,” “they are done with this” “they have endured too much.” And it really reaches its height when they enter MA’s chambers, as she doesn’t even know WHO is speaking. It could’ve been her, it could’ve been the woman by her side, likewise with the guard who’s severely hurt (also, the “wave” of bodies, going back to the overall theme of water that’s there in PLP). She doesn’t know, because at this point, they’re one whole body acting out at the same time.  (There’s one brief point where Solène becomes a “her” again, but it’s only to say that her brain is NOT necessarily...its usual self, “all other thoughts disappearing,” which repeats what she’d also said when the shot first went off; she’s very much acting on INSTINCT here.) 

When does she become Solène again? When Olympe runs in front of her. She and Olympe are not a Thing per se, not at this point, even though Solène’s recognizing that she’s “a little bit in love with her,” but Solène does care enough for Olympe that she was able to be snapped out of it. In the chapter that I currently have sitting in my drafts and that SHOULD be published in the next day or so, there’s a bit where Olympe questions whether Solène would have continued on if she hadn’t been there. Solène says that she doesn’t know, because to HER this unlocked a part of herself that she didn’t really know was THERE, the kind of radicalism that she tends to associate with Ronan and the other revolutionaries (ESPECIALLY Maillard, who is kind of Ronan-By-Proxy here as a vanqueur of the Bastille who is ultimately ineffective when it comes to Solène’s complaints.) Personally? Even though I fully leave it up to interpretation, and everyone’s free to say “No, you’re wrong,” I wrote it with the idea that Solène probably would have done a Hell of a lot more harm had Olympe not been there. 

This is also fully intended as a parallel to Peyronan. (”NO, RACHEL, PEYRONAN ARE A THING? I HAD NO IDEA! THE SPOILERS!”) Both Peyrol and Solène had the same choice in this chapter, at its core: Their goal at hand, or the person they love. Peyrol let the army and his loyalty to the Monarchy get the better of him, Ronan ended up paying the price for it, and, as we see both at the funeral and at the trial at the beginning of the chapter...Laz is BROKEN by it. Solène doesn’t realize why he’s broken and even doubts that he is, because she doesn’t have the perspective, but...LOOK at him. He is not doing Well. He didn’t gain anything from what he did. In a snap-second decision, he chose his career and decades of indoctrination over Ronan, and he ended up losing both. Solène chose to break out of it and save Olympe, even if she was personally endangered by it. It doesn’t mean that one loved their person more than the other one, but it DOES mean that they get very different results. There’s a climb to the light for Laz as well, I’m not going to just...LEAVE him, but it’s going to be much, much longer than Solène’s. 

S. What’s the sexiest thing you wrote this year?

I’ll be honest: I know I have (2) Official Smut Fics to my name now, but I honestly don’t FEEL like anything I’ve written’s particularly SEXY so much as Describing Sex. This isn’t me being a Pretentious Literary Author who Does Not Write Porn, oh no; it’s that I genuinely don’t believe that what I write...qualifies as “sexy”. That being said, despite being only 100 words, “Honey Plunged Into Water” is probably the sexehiest. Which is hilarious because it’s also the kind of thing I would NEVER have written otherwise. There is one...unpublished fic for A Passage Through the Light that features Madame Roland/Marie-Anne that is....very, very gay and is probably honestly the sexiest thing I’ve ever written even without them actually doing the do. 

T. Themes, motherfucker, do you have them? What are they?

Earn Your Happy Ending, the question as far as the difference between society and what someone’s been conditioned to be like VS the individual, uncertainty, unease, that question of how much you really CAN know someone else, that general feeling of the calm before (or even during) the storm and how people can find intimacy then. There’s a lot of the gothic element there as far as the past, and the people who were THERE in the past, never really being...GONE from the narrative. Like, one way or another, they have the tendency to come back, whether it’s as a literal ghost or whether it’s just their skeleton buried underneath a tree somewhere. 

V. Which story was the most viscerally pleasing to write? Tell us your narrative kinks.

This is painfully predictable, but I THOROUGHLY enjoyed every second of writing Forgiveness. To this day, it’s probably the ONE piece of Peyronan stuff (besides Fowl Play!) that I’ve written where I’m, like, 95% happy with the final result, which is REMARKABLE for me. I really, really loved getting to WORK with their relationship and what makes it WORK at the heart of everything, the progression of it, the gradual increase in intimacy, the way they come to have that moment of “We’re in this one TOGETHER,” and an ending that’s HOPEFUL even though there’s still the ever-present promise of the Revolution in the background. All of that is a LOT of what I tend to like in my Peyronan to begin with, so it was really fantastic to just get that all out on the page. It’s one of those moments where I just want to gesture all over the page and go “THESE TWO LOVE EACH OTHER SO MUCH” even though they still have their bickering and their petty little moments. 

Another one that’s a WIP but that I feel’s far enough along to actually TALK about is the Fairy Tale AU (It has a name, but I tend to feel like announcing its name is jinxing it and I DO desperately want to get it out soon) and...it’s not my usual writing style, it’s not my usual way of doing things. There are some things that I do there that I wouldn’t necessarily do in a usual, realistic fic because it’s a FAIRY TALE that’s being given the 1789 treatment. It was really, really interesting to get to work with some of my favorite fairy tales, see some of the ways they’ve been told and retold throughout the years, especially looking for the ones that focus on commoner protagonists, elements of the gothic and dark fantasy mixed in there with the light. I’m not really that USED to getting to go wild, so it’s been a lot of fun to have one project where the research is less on the minutiae of 18th century life and more on...like....the similarities between the Italian and the Breton versions of The Travelling Companion folkstory. 

[valkerymillenia]

Omg there's so much I want to talk about in TLJ that I don't even know where to start!

And my ships 😏 hehe I see what the authors are doing.

Red herrings everywhere.

Spoilers ahead.

These are random disjointed fangirlish thoughts on the movie that I have to spill out before I can become coherent again. Bare with me.

THE HUMOUR! So good and yet so well nuanced that it complemented the seriousness of the  movie very well.

GENERAL HUGS and SALT GUY need to be memes. I mean, c’mon guys, you know I’m right.

LEIA USING THE FORCE TO SAVE HERSELF, IN THE VACUUM OF SPACE! My gods, she always had so much potential and it’s good to see some of it finally being expressed. They built Leia up so well in this movie, so much development, I love it but now I’m so afraid of what they’ll do for ep IX without Carrie...

Billie Lourd having way more protagonism! The legacy continues.

WOMEN EVERYWHERE!  As many as the men and in equal posts! Thank you, gods! Also, POC everywhere! YES, THANK YOU!

Rose is freaking adorable and well written, the viewers form an instant connection with her through her sister and she has that innocent and wonder that we haven’t had since New Hope’s Luke.

Though Rose describing Canto Bight made me laugh because it was a perfect echo of Obi-Wan describing Mos Isley... In fact when she described it as an ugly horrifying place filled with the most despicable people, all I could think was ‘girl, you’ve clearly never been to Mos Isley’. Though in the end Canto Bight is more civilized but morally worse than Mos Isley so she’s not wrong.

Still wondering was the message Rey asked Chewie to give Finn...

Shipping wise... They're baiting us with Finn x Rose AND Finn x Poe AND Finn x Rey all at once. Interesting to see the guy being the center of a love tangle for a change. Anyway, they are clearly letting the audience chose how to interpret each relationship.

Now, I’m trying to analyze this without shipper goggles (yet) so...

Poe's body language is all over Finn who seems clueless, Poe just acts so differently around Finn compared to others, hell, he even acts possessive of Finn (the way he examines all of ‘naked and leaking’ Finn, and, his face when he meets Rose and slightly places himself between her and Finn- “Who’s this?”).

Rose kisses Finn but he doesn't kiss back, it's not even shock he just looks confused and more concerned with saving her. In sum- Rose's body language is all over Finn, even more explicitly than Poe (because heteronormativity and all) but once again Finn looks absolutely clueless of what others feel towards him.

The only times Finn's body language and attitude go beyond more than friendship and admiration are when it's related to Rey... Though then she’s the one whose body language only denotes platonic feelings.

I see what's happening- the authors are showing all these options as red herrings under our noses, which often happens in the middle of trilogies, all so the fans won't be able to guess what's coming. Hell, I could almost feel an asexual vibe from Finn and the Rose x Finn kiss echoes the red herring Leia x Luke kiss in ep V so much...

Personally I still ship stormpilot (though not averse to Rose and Poe sharing Finn but that will never happen and still prefer stormpilot), even though I openly admit that it's clear they wanted to show obvious Finn x Rey chemistry and some Finn x Rose (albeit more one-sided).

Moving on...

ALL THE FUCKING REYLO! My poor shipper heart was exploding!

Topless Kylo! Flustered “please-cover-up-that-distracting-bod” Rey! LMAO!

I'm so happy that reylo is a cannon thing now. Sure, it's in a tragic ship sort of way instead of openly romantic, but damn, that back to back battle against the praetorian guard... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Scarred Kylo! 

Kylo hesitating and refusing to shoot, most likely because Leia was on board the ship...

Rey crying when she touches Kylo and connects to his emotions. 

Official confirmation that Snoke was already manipulating Ben when he was Luke’s apprentice (like what was stated in the novelization of TFA).

Ben turning to the dark because he felt betrayed by Luke (echoing Anakin and the Jedi Council). 

Kylo constantly conflicted and expressing it through anger and obvious emotional vulnerability, even (or even more so) as he becomes “the big baddy”.

Kylo BEGGING to have Rey on his side. And vice-versa.

Kylo killing Snoke, not for power but for Rey, the power was just his ambition and greed bubbling up as Rey denies him.

Pretty sure Kylo will get a redemption arc- I know it doesn't seem like it but the clues are there and I'm a good 90% sure of this, otherwise we'd just have a copy of Anakin's conflict all over again albeit Kylo being more ambiguous and also less determined in about his intentions. Now, if this redemption ends well or not, with love or without it, with grey jedi or otherwise, that is where the mystery lies.

Ok, I admit, Reylo is my otp but objectively in canon I don't know how the ship will end, at this point it can go either way; but imho Kylo will be redeemed somehow. As a writer and someone very much used to deconstructing plots, I can tell that there are enough clues for this, not just in this movie but in the big picture of the whole SW movieverse. 

One thing is for sure- the old dichotomy of jedi and sith as we know it is dead. Luke, Kylo and Yoda give us enough confirmation of this (and admittedly the whole black-white/good-evil extremes thing was getting SO old).

Personally I'm praying with all my might that we get Grey Jedi at last! And that would make both Rey and Kylo’s predictions true- she strays from the light and him from the dark and they meet in a middle term... It would make sense and seems to have been foreshadowed but unfortunately it’s not one of those things I can say I’m certain off. 

Let’s also have in account that the title of the movie is “The Last Jedi” but intended as plural (even here the subtitle was plural) so when Luke says “I will not be the last jedi”, I don’t think he means Rey exclusively.

Kylo was not made for leadership and rule either so I do wonder who will take the reigns of this crumbled government when it’s all said and done.

What else...

POE BEING A HOT-HEADED DAREDEVIL! He had such an aura of competence and poise in TFA but in TLJ we saw so much development, he was so humanized and flawed (but in the best way).

Phasma’s death was... as we say in Portugal “soube-me a pouco”, aka it felt lacking. Don’t get me wrong, it was epic, but they made such a huge deal of her in PR and marketing (especially in TFA) that it feels like she had a bigger role that got edited out in post-production. The fight with Finn was perfect and excellent for his growth but it felt like we needed more on Phasma to make it more meaningful.

HOLDO’S KAMIKAZE MOVE! Goddamn, I had mixed feelings about her through the whole movie but, although I usually dislike the kamikaze martyr trope, at that moment I just adored her. I feel like we could have gotten a bit more personal with her but either way it was tragically perfect.

Luke’s death felt unnecessary. Again, don’t get me wrong- I was afraid I’d hate it but it was a good death, an appropriate and meaningful one; however, it felt anti-climatic and unnecessary in the progression and pacing of the story itself. Perhaps if framed differently... Either way, the only way the manner of his death can be justified to me is if he has an important role (big or small, whatever, but meaningful) as a Force Ghost in ep IX.

Kinda wish we'd have a Luke-Anaking force ghost reunion; the two of them guiding Leia and Rey and even Kylo... But that's just wishful thinking.

The sweet moment between Leia and Luke broke me, I wanted to cry. They deserved so much more time together, hell, WE deserved to see so much more interaction between them as close siblings.

The almost imperceptive glance we get of the Jedi books safely stored in the Falcon! Begging the questions- who and why?

I wanted more Chewie and definitely more Maz! I really, really, REALLY want more Maz as a sassier modern version of Yoda.

Speaking of- loved the Yoda cameo- Mr ‘if you don’t have the balls then I’ll do for you’.

I get a feeling we’ll be seeing DJ again... But, honestly, so many new characters and they COULDN’T BRING BACK LANDO FUCKING CALRISSIAN?!

Please tell me Rey will build her own lightsaber now! And make it a lightsaber pike, it fits her much better than than the Skywalker saber. 

Liked Rey’s parentage reveal, honestly so much better than having her conveniently be the heir of a pre-existing character. Also gives her tragic past much more intensity.

Porgs were cute but screw them, the Vulptex’s were soooooo much better.

I’m conflicted about Snoke’s death... It was brilliant but at the same time it wasn’t as impactful as it could be if his role had been more pronounced in TFA. Still, very good though.

Best of all- HUX BEING TOSSED AROUND LIKE A DOLL. Deflates his ego beautifully. And when Kylo gives the “shoot with all you got” order when Luke pops up and Hux repeats the order word by word but louder to the troops and Kylo just gives him that ‘bitch, I just said that’ face... Priceless.

I loved BB-8 before but now I ADORE HIM! In Poe’s ship trying to fix the circuit board and then just goes “fuck it” and smashes into the whole thing. xD “Finn, wet, leaking” ! And taking out the prison guards! And piloting a damn AT-AT alone to shoot troopers! He’s so fucking smart and resourceful and just as much a daredevil as Poe, not to mention cute AF! 

BB-9E was interesting we didn’t get much more from him than appearance so BB-8 FTW!

Give me BB-8 merch. All the BB-8 merch!  Pillows, plushies, the drone! I’m in love with all things BB-8!

But when it comes to droids, I wanted more from R2, he felt neglected. Though that move of showing the old recording of young Leia’s distress message to push Luke really was genius.

Wondering if the little boy at the end is force sensitive or if he (or other kids) will have any role in the Resistance, there was a lot of foreshadowing there.

OMG the movie was just sooooo good! The spoilers terrified me but it was so good, for a mid-trilogy movie it was just right. Let’s hope IX lives up to it.

Finally, one last question- WHY IS NOBODY ASKING WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER HANDFUL OF PADAWANS (KNIGHTS OF REN) THAT LEFT WITH BEN??????

I got up and practically saluted when the “in memory of” showed up. It got me in tears.

Ok, end of rambles... for now. 

[jonnyopinion]

Mr Spock and the Cat Police

How overthinking the meaning of cat ownership may have made me sociopath, and other musings.

An email came from the landlord a few weeks ago that I've been wanting to tell you about. "Evidence" had been found of cats residing in the building, which had been traced, correctly, to me.

"I would like to bring to your attention that pets are not permitted in the flats due to the damage and possible infestations they can cause. The cat will need to be removed from the property and we will shortly conduct inspections to ensure this has taken place".

Oh. Shit.

Actually it's cats, plural. Two of them. Their names are Monk and Tiger, they are nine months old, and they look like this:

They are brother and sister, coming from an unreasonably large litter of eleven, and who I came by through a friend of friend. They needed a home. How could I resist? Look at them. Look at their widdle faces.

Not now, Mr Spock.

So the email was a bit of shock. It shouldn't​ have been, since I signed a tenancy agreement that included a clear "no pets" clause. I chose to ignore this, which brings you up-to-date.

It has been at the back of my mind for a while that Tiger and Monk and I might not to be able to live together happily ever after. As I said in a previous post they aren't totally compatible with my longer term plans; even with my short term experiments with indoor gardening, for that matter. So, after several attempts to find them a home, which have not been successful, they've gone back to where they came from.  They may be able to move on from there, but I had to have them out by this week, so that was that.  When I got home to my now cat-free flat I felt a little sad, and then I felt free again.  It was strange.  Perhaps I'm just a heartless bastard.

Spoiler alert. Occasionally, this blog will refer to Star Trek. Specifically, to its version of the future in which technology and a new understanding of their place in the universe has allowed for the human race to develop of a new globalised economic system, under a single world government, without war, starvation or want. It is a future where not only do "material needs no longer exist" but which money itself, the blood of our economy, has become obsolete. How exactly this all works is never fully explained in the series, a fact to which its writers make the occasional knowing self-reference, but for which they should not be unduly criticised. It's science fiction, after all, and they don't ever explain how their "transporters" (which teleport humans over long distances instantly) or "replicators" (which create food and other materials out of thin air just as quickly) work either: but then, being able to explain such fictional devices perfectly would be tantamount to actually inventing them, which of course has not happened. If you're a regular reader of this blog, you'll appreciate how this is relevant to my interests.

Ah, yes, Mr Spock. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. Nice cat you've got there. Good segue.

Indeed. Spock was the original Star Trek's famously conflicted alien: half human, half "Vulcan". Humans are often characterised in Star Trek as emotional, impulsive, irrational - which of course they are - but these aspects of their nature are over-emphasised for dramatic reasons, and as a point of contrast between Vulcan nature, which is logical, dispassionate and as was drawn out more in later incarnations of the franchise, somewhat emotionally repressed. The climax of the Vulcan back story involves a time of "great awakening", in which a species on the brink of self-destruction manages to overcome its dark and violent impulses by embracing a philosophy of radical self-control and a logical, disinterested approach to decision-making, just in time to keep from annihilating themselves altogether, and go on to explore the galaxy, sharing their wisdom and technology with other species they deem worthy of their attention. Just as humans discover the means by which they might do the same (faster than light "warp speed" space travel) a passing Vulcan ship's curiosity is piqued, and so begins a long, fraught but fruitful relationship between the two species that is several centuries old by the time Mr Spock comes along. In the Star Trek timeline, incidentally, this occurs in the year 2063, which isn't really that long now.  Perhaps we'll make it; or perhaps not.  I wonder if a renewed emphasis on self-control and logic might be just the solution we need.  These are excessive and illogical times.  I need not remind you of who the most powerful person on the planet currently is.

We live in an every more overtly emotional world.  Just last week, the Prime Minister (of whom I am, needless to say, no fan) was criticised, not only for failing to engage with the community affected by the Grenfell Tower disaster on a personal level, as well she might be, but for not publicly crying enough with or for them.  As the Spectator put it, she is "too British for her own good".  A similar phenomenon occurred 20 years ago after the death of Princess Diana, when a similar line of attack was made on the Queen, who following this latest newsworthy tragedy was applauded for, unlike Theresa May, coming out and actually making physical contact with the plebs in person, just as fervently as she had been for not doing in 1997.  For some reason how our leaders are seen to be feeling, regardless of what they may or may not actually feel, is supposed to be extremely important.  Why?  A very difficult question.

Now this is coming from a man who has taken Prozac for the last 12 years, but I'm really not a very emotional person.  It isn't only that, like the Prime Minister, I might be too British for my own good - that I don't express my emotions as much as I might - so much as that I don't really feel very much at all.  I'm not exactly robotic, like Mrs May is said to be, though of course in private almost certainly isn't, but only on very rare occasions do I feel any emotion intensely enough that it needs to be expressed.  This may put me a little at odds with the times, in which is now platitudinous that to "open up" is intrinsically a good thing, that to be emotionally "repressed" is intrinsically unhealthy, that men should not be afraid of appearing "vulnerable" and so on, and so on.  I wonder though if the unspoken truth about individuals is that some feel a lot more than others.  For some, to be openly emotional is a source of strength; just as much, for others, it is a form of deception.  Why pretend to feel for the satisfaction of others, when behind a superficially emotional exterior, you may feel nothing at all?  Are emotional reactions to terrible things necessarily a good thing?  Should we be more like Theresa May?  Perish the thought.  Should we be more like Spock?  More complex questions.

Cats are really nice to have around.  Really nice.  Just stroking a cat can lower your blood pressure and cholesterol, relieve anxiety, and significantly decrease your chances of becoming unnecessarily dead.  Incredible, and perhaps no wonder that we "emotionally repressed" Brits have such high rates of cat ownership.  About the most monstrous thing a British person could do, except perhaps putting their sofa in the garden, would be to eat their cat.  A special level of contempt is reserved in the popular consciousness for the abusers of cats and dogs (although not, of course, for sheep, pigs or cows, the abuse of which we generally contract out).  Maybe I "should" feel sad, then, about having to give my cats away again.  But I don't.  I feel nothing about it, except lightly relieved.

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