#even though there's no real/right way to be an INTJ ofc

[archive-of-the-lost]

𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @i-am-so-strange

Your ideal match is…Michael Kaiser!

♡ This may be a surprising match for you, and honestly, it is for me too! I'm not sure what kind of SO I expected for him, perhaps someone with his dramatic flair and/or ambition. But after reading your info, I didn't have anyone else in mind for you, so here he is!

♡ Kaiser is undoubtedly the snobbiest guy in blue lock, and that's saying a lot, so you both didn't get along at first. Enemies to lovers all the way (again, my first matchup based on this concept!). I'm thinking the first time you both got along was when he made a comment on someone you both found annoying, and you couldn't help but agree, spending the new few minutes gossiping about that person with him until you remember your goal to think more positively about people.

♡ "Film school dropout and a frustrated writer lol". This is the line that put him in my mind and no one else could wedge themself in. Kaiser obviously has a connection to theatre/the arts given the professions of his parents, and he did have a period where he incorporated stage roles into his shit-talk. 💀 My point is, I think he would have a genuine interest in film and writing as a hobby. So he'd want to know more about this side of you, what parts of media/the arts that you like. Even why it didn't work out, if you'd tell him.

♡ Once he finds out that you play the piano and the guitar, he seems to make it his personal mission to get you to play for him. He pesters you every day about it, begging urging you to play him a song. When you finally do, he just stares at you the entire time, transfixed.

♡ One time he accompanied you shopping, offering to pay for anything that wasn't food in an attempt to court you rather than show off his wealth. You seem to be the type to insist paying for yourself, being independent and all, but he was persistent in offering to buy you that gorgeous but expensive coat you were eyeing. For Christmas. Did I mention it was snowing? He was lagging behind you for a bit when you stopped to look through a window of an antique shop. What a memorising sight it was, he just had to take a picture. Yes, his tiny smile was quite cute from the corner of your eyes.

♡ Throughout the first few months of dating, I can imagine the both of you sort of dancing around each other, too afraid to come off as "too much" or too vulnerable. You're both independent and not great at showing how much you care about someone, which leads to a honeymoon period probably more anxiety-ridden than it should be. He definitely did his research on traditional romance and brought you roses, chocolates and a fluffy stuffed bear. Very cute, but it took him a while before starting to get you more personalised gifts.

♡ Once the both of you become more comfortable with each other, the relationship starts sailing more smoothly. The two of you can joke with each other without worrying about the other person not finding it funny, playfully swat at each other, tease each other. Kaiser isn't the type to laugh at little things much, but when he sees you laughing, he can't help but laugh as well. That's the chemistry of love.

♡ Your ability to stand up for yourself is good for your relationship with him in the long run. There are times when he makes mistakes or even pushes boundaries, so you being able to tell him when you're unhappy (in a healthy communicative way) with something he did is vital to the long-term success of the relationship. He needs to know what's healthy in a relationship, what he can and cannot get away with.

Your sibling is…Barou Shoei!

♡ Your mentions of cleaning and dislike of disorganisation reminded me of him LMAO Okay, but seriously, you both sound like a great match! For living in the same house, that is! He'd appreciate those qualities of yours as he also loves cleanliness. It also means you're scolded by him the least out of his three sisters, haha. Though it helps that you're older than your sisters. You're more mindful of cleanliness.

♡ Is cleaning a hobby? Barou certainly thinks so. He often gets you to clean with him, not because he wants to give you work to do, but because he finds the activity enjoyable and sees it as a way to bond with you. He stated his ideal type as someone who can clean with him, which gives us some insight into his preferred way of spending quality time with loves ones: doing chores together.

♡ You're an INTJ, he's an XSTJ (not sure if he's I or E yet), so the both of you are quite similar in that way. Independent, organised. Even down to the being bad at expressing that you care for people part. But! While you're a "looks like could kill you but is actually a cinnamon roll" type, he's a "looks like could kill you, will kill you" type all the way through. Yes, he does care for his family, but you're never gonna catch him doing anything sappy without looking constipated.

♡ Barou also looks down on everyone, not just certain people. He thinks his strength is his egoistical mindset, so you know he's even proud of it. 💀 Hey, maybe you learned it from him. But Barou isn't above respecting someone (kinda?) after they beat him in soccer, so he's also working on his tendency of looking down on others. Somewhat. In his own way. You guys can work on it together!

♡ Woah, the both of you are blunt and straightforward. I imagine that causes the both of you to butt heads when you disagree, because you mentioned you know how to stand up for yourself, so you're not the type to agree with him just to keep the peace.

♡ Barou mentioned that he hasn't cried since the day he was born, and by the looks of it, he hasn't laughed since he learned to walk either. When you have friends over and you're laughing with them, he gives you a weird look like having fun is a crime or something. He doesn't say anything though. At least you have friends, tell him that.

♡ I don't normally pay attention to appearance when doing sibling matchups (because a lot of bllk characters have natural colourful hair and eyes) but you and Barou totally look like siblings! Your tendency to wear corporate clothing suits the serious aura Barou always has around him. In general, INTJs seem to have rbfs or at least look serious/done with everything so I'm going to assume the both of you have this unapproachable aura. People can usually guess that you're siblings. You having dyed hair is making me wonder what your reaction was to Barou's new red stripes to celebrate his 100 million yen value.

[flaringfoxsoul03]

Hi there Writer, can I ask some Match up Romantic Obey me? Ofc if it's okay to you

How should I started, well.

know myself actually but it's hard to describe it, I'm a Female She/Her pronouns Demisexual INTJ-T. I'm a quiet person and rarely talk but somehow I can make people befriend me easily, maybe because everyone says I'm "Cold outside but warm inside" I guess??? I'm also an ambivert who tends to be more extrovert actually, I'm not easy to get comfortable with new people but I think I'm a friendly person because in my hometown Being friendly and polite is a bridge of socialization and it's already in my bloodblood. I sometimes feel bad for someone even though I know it wasn't my fault when I got into a fight and when I get angry I just stay quiet and don't react much maybe I'll just give them the cold shoulder or at least try not to be seen with them.

the place I hate the most when I hang out is hiking. I got lost and almost died (obviously I don't want to experience that again) and my Favorite Place to Hang out is Cinema and My house. I really like drawing and I often draw my daily life on my tablet like a diary (my hands are fine-)

My love language is quality time, I know I may not be a talkative person but spending time with someone special is what makes me want to talk a lot, i might be the silent jealous type, not because I don't want to admit it but maybe because it's not my right to forbid my partner from interacting with anyone (I will stare at the person who is the reason I'm jealous). I'm also not the type of person who believes in "love at first sight", maybe other people feel it but not me

a little information about my appearance: I am about 176 cm tall. My hair is short Platinum blonde (dye), and black eyes and Oliver skin

Things I like : Flowers, Books, Rabbits, Spicy and sour food (but I'm not a picky eater), Going out or staying at home, Coffee, Drawing, and the color white

Things I hate : Lizard, smoke, Ghost, Horror game and movie ( I'm a scared cat ok-)

I'm sorry if it's too long and feel free to ignore this if you want to, and thanks if you read this. I'll see you soon

You are literally too sweet for words. Nothing can describe you accurately in the amount of sweetness and kindness you possess. Yet ever so valiant of the human traditions of pain and suffering. Even demons would be initially blinded in your radiance, mistaking you for the Virtue of Kindness. I’m not kidding, you are giving me a lot to work with. Let’s see if I can put my work up to the test…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I match you with…

Mammon!

——————————

Look, he is called a scumbag a lot, but he’s different with you. You both met under unfortunate circumstances and got forced into a very difficult situation to navigate, but you both figured it out slowly and like every slowburn romance novel that Satan reads, you fell for each other faster than Lucifer has even seen with Lilith back when they were still angels in the Celestial Realm

Now, it seems odd to put you guys together, but trust me, this works really well. He’s the voice when you’re the words, you fit together so well and would be totally lost without the other, no structure or flow to have anything go smoothly. You, the eye of the storm and he, the raging turbulence protecting you. He’s your first demon, he ain’t letting you go and he’s hoping you won’t let go of him either

Speaking of which, this demon has also raised a very angry creature. He gets angry and its many types, so when he sees you giving the cold shoulder to everyone and being way quieter? Bet on it that shit is gonna turn around real fast. He’ll offer to spend time with him on whatever sounds good in the moment. Whether it be homework, a joyride, or even just cuddling together, bet on it that he’s gonna convince you to be together alone for as long as it takes you to finally break and talk to him. He’s not even trying to talk over you either, he wholeheartedly listens to every little detail you’ll spare him. You deserve to be heard, you should know that better than anyone since you listen to him all the time

Will never actively let you walk by yourself when on a hike, let alone consider the idea of going on one if you’re not totally over the whole near death experience. While he does wanna show you the secret little places he’s found, he knows that you’re not for hikes, especially since you informed him of your last traumatic hike experience. He’s conflicted, he knows pictures will do it no justice, but at the same time he’s worried he’s never going to be able to show you some places he treasures and wants to share it with you. Please help him come to a decision already

Will immediately spend tons of Grimm he’s managed to save up to turn his room into a movie theater from home. He does get the appeal of the cinemas, but why not be able to have it all to yourself when you don’t feel like being sociable? He thinks this is a grand idea, Lucifer is less thrilled with the charges that Mammon has managed to rack up ever since learning your love for the cinemas

Will absolutely try to test your tastebuds against the Devildom’s spicy levels of food. He’s ridiculous and he needs to get that energy out somehow, eating spicy helps him stay at maintained levels of goofiness. He really does love it when you scarf down your food and on top of that be able to handle it? Super hot, literally and figuratively. Even when you can’t handle the heat, you both have a good laugh about it anyways. No shame in spice!

Has great relief that you are never willing to watch horror movies. As much as he claims otherwise, he’s terrified of the movies as he just gets so invested into it, he feels as though he’s part of the movie itself. That’s why he’s so scared of them, even if he knows it’s not real. He’s much more of a Fantasy, Action, and Adventure genres are more his type of movies. But minus the horror? He’s down to watch anything with you, no matter if it’s at the cinemas or in his room

Even if you seem like the opposite couple doomed to fail to everyone else, your relationship with Mammon is of energy balancing acts. If it fails, it’s hilarious at the end usually. If it succeeds, it’s a marvelous accomplishment in your guys’s relationship to be able to do a new thing without getting hurt for it. Sure there’s a few more bumps here and there, but he will never not be by your side

=================

The follow ups are:

Asmodeus

And

Leviathan

===================

That’s it folks, until next time!

~Fox

[foxymoxynoona]

Okay I’m aliiivee and I disappeared for a good cause: I had my written Korean exam this morning and I PASSED 30/30 WOOHOO so I treated myself binge-reading to kill a king and flux. What a reward.

For to kill a king I’m hyping myself up so much for this story. THE TENSION. and the fact that one of the main characters is technically the villain?? This is AMAZING. Nasimiyu is the new Cersei Lannister (before season 8 ofc🤪🚔) CHANGE MY MIND. And Dulce is giving me existential doubts on wtf she wants to do. But ugh… ✨women✨. Immaculate. I love them and I shouldn’t? But I do.

For flux I- damn I spent the entire time dying of laughter for the accuracy of everything. The chaos of meeting the family IS A REAL DEAL. Everything is so fucking loud and I think about it often, if one of the boys had to experience this they would probably run away traumatized lol (except for hobi maybe, he would vibe with it).

BUT THE FINAL SCENE??? THE FLUFF??? Is paying back from all the therapy sessions I wanted to book for first half of this book. and no I’m not thinking about the fact that they could potentially break up again one day or that he should really talk to her about a certain something HAPPY THOUGHTS HAPPY THOUGHTS.

And new million dollar question… WHAT IS SASHA’S MBTI??? She strikes me as an INFP, the mediator (which.. little secret, I think may be yours too👀. I mean, from what I read on your tumblr and your writing but last time I tried and guessed your zodiac sign I was dead wrong so🫠🫠). Or the Advocate, INFJ. Sasha is the kind of person who looks like an Extrovert but in reality just loves to stay in and recharge her social batteries. And I would know, I’m INTJ aka Satan.🥳

🌸

WOOOOO congrats on that exam!! That's great! Do you get a nice break for summer now?

TKAK: one of the most fun things for me writing that is that if you ask each character in the story 'who is the villain' you will get a different answer. I knew readers would come in with an inherent bias for Jin. I look forward to continuing to twist people around and poke at ideas of right/wrong villain/hero. 😁

Flux: I was sooooo eager waiting for you to read and see if anything felt off to you for these chapters haha. I know it can be really disorienting if someone gets something wrong and just because I have some knowledge doesn't mean I won't get something really weirdly wrong! But I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter and hope you enjoy the continued chaos of next chapter 😁😁😁

Sasha's MBTI, you know way more about them than me so you should probably decide! I have gotten INFJ twice when I've taken the test, even though I expected it to have changed because I feel like I'm so different day to day, but apparently not! The short blurb I just read about INFP does indeed sound like her! INTJ soudns fun! Satan just because of the contradictions?

[hibari-kyouya-skylark]

“→ R ・U ・L・ E ・S  { last UPDATE - 03/21/2020 }

x-  I’m currently indie but selective. please know that it’s very unlikely that I will start a rp with you if I’m not interested. I will however, always try to answer everything I can ic; and eventually ooc; When I reblog memes, feel free to send me some it can be either ic, on anon or off. I will definitely try my best to reply to each ask. Excluding some I find nonsense or not fitting or impossible to be answered ic; If you want to reply to an ask or meme , then please post a new thread tagging me in it. I don’t like reblogging asks.

x- posts&&;threads

I can write starters but not particularly fond of doing so. I think I’m not skilled enough to come up with an interesting intro. Sometimes I’ll post starters however…but very rarely. You likely see me go with some memes for starters ,if even.

x- RP’s and ;threads might be SHORT

Please note: Hibari is someone who likes being aloof, That means regardless of whom I rp with, chances are that our RP’s and threads are rarely long due to Hibari’s character. It might be different. if we decide on a multi rp, but that’s unlikely to happen very often because I rather write those I’m good with and not other characters. However I may agree to it if other characters involved in our rp are written like NPC’s or if I just need to explain what they do and not write and speak as them.r 

x- About my muse:  I can be a battle maniac and bastard in rp and my muse will often say “kamikorosu”  aka.. “I’ll bite you to death”; honestly it might be a bother within a while to read that all the time.. but if you don’t like it ,then know that I don’t care because Hibari says it a lot and doing that is only in character. And  I care way more about an accurate  portrayal than some possible complains.

furthermore be aware that due to my headcanon this hibari is a yakuza son and hitman. I know a lot about the yakuza traditional and modern ones. And that’s why I think it’s obvious that Hibari is definitely related to that. As I mentioned already my muse is a battle maniac. that means fighting situations can and very likely will happen a lot in our RP. I do not expect you to be a great writer at T-1 tho, so please don’t worry about detailing.

x- About my RP style

my writing style differs via mode. Sometimes I write a lot, sometimes not. My preferences are para-semi and novella. There is absolutely no need for you to do the same in return. But if we have chosen a semi para rp I ask kindly that you refrain from sending a single line as reply. I always allow this for asks and crack rps tho. I’m not a professional writer so please expect me to have writing flaws. English is not my native language after all. 

I approve of M!A’s but I have a right to refuse them when I don’t like them, or think of them as too ooc;If you are part of a MMOFRPG group and would like to rp with me, don’t be afraid to approach me. I used to rp at MMOFRPG for an entire year and I don’t mind roleplaying with you just because you’re part of a group.

If you think I missed your reply, hit me up pls. I try my best to make each roleplay enjoyable for my roleplay partner, chances are , I’m trying even to meet your way of writing, to please you. I can be very slow with replies, please be patient.Threads come and go. Don’t take it badly when I drop our thread, we can always start a new one. or maybe our preferences of writing just doesn’t match, in that case I’m still willing to interact ic; via asks and similar but long threads are out of question.

Important

   Everything my character thinks or quotes is often posted like this:    //nuisance.// or (( pathetic ))    everything dark,sadistic or masochistic he thinks is striked though and posted like this ”interesting.”

Planning to kill my character? Notify me first and we’ll discuss it.

Want to RP with younger Hibari?: Ask me, I might agree to it.

this blog will have trigger warning contents. RP’s can get quite dark, angsty, psychotic and bloody. Trigger warning content such as gore, homicide, torture, self-harm, can or will happen, but will be tagged accordingly.

x- Any japanese in RP?

that is possible, for one mun rena here studies japanese since several years, and for another using japanese in my rp’s always makes me feel more ic; But alas, before you think now. “oh great but I don’t understand anything then?” , let me reassure you that, unless upon common agreement, I will never write in hiragana and katakana throughout our rp, and merely use some easy things to know and in romaji, like “kamikorosu” or “shine” “aa sou,  souka.” I never use anything that may seems hard to be understood. So please do not let this be of a disturbance to you , If you ever want to know what I’m saying however, please just mention it in your tags.

x- NSFW?

Mun is over 18 years old and Personally, when it comes to smut, I prefer dub and noncon themes. I do not mind ERP, upon common agreement. I prefer ERP in DM tho, but if happening in a dashboard RP, I will put it under read more and tag accordingly.  Also please know Hibari is more of a sadomasochist. Also I’m ironically not a fan of yaoi but when it comes to Hibari, I definitely do not mind multiships. 6918/1869, 691827,1896/9618,1827/2718,1006918 even others. Well I mean. I simple ship what I ship.

x- mun&IMPORTANT details Please note that what I write has nothing to with the real me. And as for me.. well my real name is Rena.  I did rp Hibari once before , and for quite a long time, I was best known as hibari-kyoya-skylark. It was actually one of my most liked muses along with Rena Ryuugu and Shogo Makishima. The real me also used to do shin kendo and iaido, I’m an INTJ-A.. quite a JP lover, and I’m actually cute but picky and not very open hearted but when we are getting along well, I can be your best friend. I’m also quite aloof,sarcastic like my muse and I’m often way too honest and blunt. I have a sideblog that I use mainly to reblog and post all kind of stuff and moe culture. As a maid while in my role as neko meido. I’m an actress, who is mainly moe and cute and obviously not my full real persona.

my personal sideblog:  @maid-rena​

Discord: 竜宮 レナ#7777

x- Formating Edits, Icons and Layout are made by myself unless otherwise stated. Most of my icons are edited and cleaned by me, please don’t use them. I made over 1k icons before but unfortunately. I lost many, likely I will make new icons again.the mun faceclaim here for myself is ofc rena I’m not the best editor however and I really suck making themes so chances are low that I will update my theme often. However if you’re skilled and talented in editing and making themes, then you’re absolutely free to help me out, Like, totally  ~

I sometimes use scripting and sometimes not, it’s always up to my laziness and mood and it often depends on me being mobile or using my laptop.

Lastly: last time I did rp hibari like now was 7years ago, as such I’m now catching up on things I forgotten, until I remember everything my rp activity is likely one themed and nothing special.

[strawberriandromeda]

Self observation/personal post/preferably do not reblog I guess but I don't rly 100% care

One of my pet peeves is pretentiousness, like nobody really likes it ofc but I just loathe it y'know

I've been in the MBTI community on Instagram for a while and I noticed that INFJ's tend to be pretentious, either by unironically sharing deep quotes that anyone could relate to or by trying to make themselves seem more deep, important, impactful than most people. I have also felt that INFJ's participate in INFP hate in a very subtle underhanded way or at least I perceive this because there is a lot of INFP hate on MBTI Instagram (as an INFP this makes me feel very upset as I still tend to take things personally even though I know I shouldn't)

So I just decided? To hate them right back. It's funny because INTJ's are also pretentious and I love them but I now know that's an idealized love from someone in my past who was probably not even an INTJ but I also still like them when their Fi is strongly developed and they're compassionate and wise people. I also tend to just gravitate towards assholes because I want to seek their approval because I'm a dumb bitch who never received a father's love (properly ofc I'm pretty sure the old bastard does love me he just sucks at expressing it)

INFJ's weren't people I seek approval from, INFJ's have a tendency to be pretentious because they're so UwU Evolved and Mature, so I just hated them

And I hated that so much but then I stopped and thought to myself, why do I hate them so much when I don't show similarly pretentious INTJ's the same energy?

And I realized

Oh

They remind me of my younger self

I used to be a pretentious little fuck too, u thought I was smarter and better and while I am an INFP and was more of the "I'm so sad and misunderstood nobody loves me I am so kind and everyone is so cruel" type the vibes were similar enough to INFJ's that I felt personally attacked by their subsequent immaturity. So like uh wig?

I just value groundedness in a person now, like someone who is humble or authentic or whatever someone who just feels like a real person

And I think I can get that from an INFJ as much as I can from like, an INTJ who I had long supported because I thought they were the embodiment of what I loved most but too late I realize that they are sometimes just contrary assholes who think they're better than you

Which is considerably worse than a condescending and fake-polite INFJ but I'm not going to settle for a toxic INFJ over a toxic INTJ I'm just saying that I stopped idealizing INTJ's and stopped demonizing INFJ's because they both suck and they're both wonderful and they're Just People, The End

[armillary-spheres-lover]

I don't think I will be of much help since I'm a 5 core (like, I usually get to use the exact opposite approach that is stereotypically my fixes should use) but I'm gonna answer anyway because I'm a slut for self-analysis

I'm not sure about my fixes order but there are some reasons as to why I think the 3 comes first (ofc)

3 fix

Of course 3's fears creep me out

My whole family is 3fixed so it's like a tradition you should maintain

Aka your parents used to work all fucking day and the only way to get their attention was to be good at school and just do what they said

I lost my sense of self since I was 7, when my dad, who's a INTJ 5w6-83 sp/so, looked at my A and said "and why didn't you get an A+"

The best three seconds of my childhood happened when my dad, after torturing me (he pretended he was helping me studying but he was actually torturing me) for all evening, finally said I got a question right

Now I'm a bit exaggerating but I got used to get straight As all the time and when I don't I actually feel dead inside - I don't realize it until months later though

I have no fucking sense of self

I'll explain it better: since I'm a 5w4, I actually find myself when I'm on my own writing my thoughts and theories on the world and whatever.

But when I'm with other people I could be anyone - I literally lose myself in mirroring everyone, I'm just a fucking mind

I may sometimes look like a 9 because I'm both withdrawn and chamaleon-like

But 9s were actually the type I spent most time understanding, because I was like "what do you mean by 'maintaining peace and harmony'? It can't be just this - why should you care about it so much lol conflicts happen"

I have a huge impostor syndrome

That I beautifully ignore and deny all the fucking day

I'm often very anxious when I have to perform. But often people are amazed since it seems like even in such moments I look way too calm and collected. Even when I'm freaking out on the inside. I guess that's a thing I'm actually proud of LOL

My inner critic is terrible but I do a fairly good job at repressing it all the time

Perfectionistic tendecies, it seems

I'm actually sensitive to criticism but I will do my best to say I don't care

I'm conflicted between being me and not giving a shit about anyone (5w4) and being way too dependent on external feedback??

I have no fucking idea of how I come off until I get some hints from people around me

I don't know when I'm faking it or not

I don't know if what I feel is real or if it's just dramatazing/not real lol

I don't know who the fuck am I

Lol

The main reason why I think my fix is 3w2 is because I may act more emotional and dramatic than your stereotypical 5w4/INTP

I'm just mirroring people and I don't even realize wth am I doing

I don't know when I'm expressing true emotions and when I'm just acting

Oh and I try not to do anything I can't excel at :D

I want to be famous lol

Better yet, I want to go down in history - fuck yeah

8 fix

This core fear actually creeps me out more than the one from the 3 fix

I don't express it usually with other people because 5's fear of getting exposed and 3's desire to look good keep me from screaming at objects in public

But I do it all the time when I'm alone

I like to annoy people sometimes, does that count

I get so fucking high on debates

When I'm discussing a theory I randomly get so concitata in a lowkey aggressive way

People always undervalue my edgy setbacks and anger responses

But if they spend enough time with me they will see me slapping somebody

Their shocked looks are better than sex

Wow I sound so edgy

I become protective towards some people, especially ones I feel "more vulnerable than me"

Oh I HATE being seen but especially being vulnerable - vade retro

I feel like I have to defend my territory. It's fairly limited actually, since 5 cores feel like they only need to control their own mind

And I actually do too. Unless I feel threatened in some way

When there's a threat I'll likely have detected way before? as a soc 5 I observe people and my fix gets power games and such - so I know who can be a threat and so on

The threat is approaching to my territory: you know when animals hear a sound and stop to get ready to fight or whatever

I'm like, "are you REALLY gonna do that?", "do you REALLY want me to get back at you?"

OK IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ASKED FOR IT MOTHER FUJEJR

Or if you're just crossing straight through my boundaries I will fucking kill ya

I don't realize how angry I am until I steamed the energy off lol (may be due to being a core 5)

I feel both empowered and embarrassed when I get really mad because YOU FUCKER MADE ME LOSE MY COOL GODDAMN IT

By the way, people that get to be protected by me somehow get to be part of my territory. So if something threats them, I'll react immediately - I feel like they're still trespassing my boundaries. It's like, "get off of my lawn!"

Ironically I myself become the threat for them, in various ways

But I don't usually give that much of a shit, whoops

I should not be proud of it but I relate to the numbing of guilt/shame and kind of a moral anesthesia

Some 5 8-fixers told me that they often fantasize about violence and write fiction about it and about power games. I'm a slut for writing about power games

The concept of vengeance is just so fucking real for me oof

I wildy oscillate between the minilistatic style of the 5 and the lust of the 8

I kinda relate to the concept of lust: you metaphorically killed your inner child in order to survive. But now you're numb inside. You start looking for something intense that will finally make you feel something

So they say 8s are always looking for the next adrenaline rush. I'm not such a junkie, since I usually get to entertain myself with something intellectual or by studying social/power dynamics in my group. Sometimes I feel the urge, though, eh.

You can say that since 8s (even if fixed) usually had to endure much emotional/physical pain, they are now somewhat desensitized to it. So they need *more* of everything in order to get a normal rush. But even so, they get even more desensitized - and the next time they will need even more of "it" (whatever they choose as a good rush)

Some people even said that a way to get the rush is constantly looking for enemies to feel threatened by and then win them over (not consciously ofc). This can resemble me a bit. I'm a freaking paranoid

I relate way more to how 8s view the world than how 3s do

You can say I emotionally relate way more to 8s, even if in my day-to-day life my fix 3 comes off way more easily

I suspect that it's because 3s has no fucking sense of self

You can say it's because developing 8 as a core or as a fix it's usually more traumatic. It sounds clichéd or exaggerated but I don't feel AS mad/anxious when reading about my core fears. I mean, I relate to them way more, but they don't bring back to me the same ugly memories that 8's fears get me to do.

I get a bit nostalgic when reading about my core fears: I get FURIOUS when reading about 8's. And I guess I'm somewhat ashamed when it comes to 3's, lol

I’m trying something new

Calling all Enneagram 8s and 8-fixes and all Enneagram 3s and 3-fixes. Please please tell me about yourself and your type and how your type manifests itself in what you do/think/feel. Maybe, just maybe through your experiences I’ll be able to figure out if I’m a 3 or 8 core.