#even though it was also such a meaningful reflection of her empathy and compassion and love for mortals

[pocketgalaxies]

this discussion is FASCINATING btw

[rainbowmoonstonestories]

Let Your Dreams Be Your Wings | Chapter 21

Chapters: 21/? Fandom: The Sandman (Netflix 2022, minor content from the Comics) Rating: Explicit Relationships Dream of the Endless/Morpheus x F!Reader  Characters: Dream of the Endless/Morpheus, Lucienne, Matthew the Raven, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Hob Gadling, Death, Rose Walker, The Corinthian, other minor Sandman characters, Original Characters. Warnings: 18+ content (minors DNI), explicit sexual content, POV switching, very long chapters to read. Summary: You always dreamed of becoming a successful Fashion Designer, sharing your creations with the world and making your father proud. But with him being very ill and so many costs solely weighting on your shoulders, things didn’t go as planned and you had to take a different path instead. An interesting offer led you to the elder Alex Burgess and you were hired as a new housemaid for a very good pay. However, your kindness and outstanding empathy convinced the man to give you an additional task for a doubled compensation; gaining the trust of Dream Of the Endless, held captive into the basement for over a century. Despite the shock of finding such an ethereal entity stripped of all his clothes and contained into a confined space, you had to accept for the sake of your father. But the more you got to speak to the mysterious anthropomorphic personification who didn’t utter a single word, the more you were lost into his eyes that, conversely, seemed to contain the entire universe. A deep connection formed between the two of you, separated only by a thick layer of glass.

Little did you know, what started like a simple housemaid job was about to change your life forever.

Credits: The moon dividers were made by firefly-graphics

Tagging: @number-0-iz, @emarich7, @jaziona92, @bridkesby If anyone else wants to be tagged in the next updates, let me know.

You can also read this on AO3 if you feel more comfortable!

Experiencing the Dreaming in your true, awakened state was the most incredible vacation of your life—one filled with magic, wonders, and an overwhelming amount of love from the King of Dreams.

Author's note: This chapter is most likely the LONGEST yet, and while quite chill and romantic, it is extremely important for something that will come soon enough. Warning: highly descriptive NSFW content included!

Upon your return to the castle, Morpheus granted you permission to explore his home further during his absence. Though he promised you an exceptional experience in his realm, an urgent matter required his immediate attention. You abstained from inquiring, recognizing that the situation, whatever its nature, necessitated his direct involvement.

At the end of the day, the sky had transformed into a magnificent starry expanse, simulating a perfect night. Morpheus had ensured everything was set and well-organized for your stay, unwilling to leave you without guidance.

Unity Kinkaid shared her great-granddaughter's compassion and wisdom, making your time together in the library rich with meaningful conversations. She regaled you with fascinating tales from her youth and the life she lived in her dreams during her long sleep, an experience that, though imaginary, led to the very real creation of a Vortex child.

Unity's charm and warmth made the prospect of her inevitable journey to the afterlife profoundly saddening. Though the compromise spared a young life with many years ahead, it left you feeling unsettled, wishing for a betterI solution.

Even in that moment of great reflection, you found solace in the warmth of Lucienne's tea, the comforting aroma of books filling the air, and the welcoming presence of your companions. These simple pleasures heightened your appreciation for being awake in such an extraordinary world, experiencing the Dreaming in a uniquely immersive way.

Meanwhile, Morpheus braced himself for an impending confrontation, one that would stir up bitterness, anger, and disappointment. The clash was unavoidable, given the recent Vortex incident and your role in it. He strode through the dark corridors of his palace, his coat billowing behind him, until he reached the area housing his siblings' sigils. He made a beeline for the one he sought, his pace slowing as he approached the object. Disgust contorted his features as he gazed at the black heart—a symbol bereft of warmth or affection, its shape a cruel irony.

He then grasped it, holding it in his hands before speaking in his characteristic low, deep tone. It was a formality, a customary phrase spoken to seek approval, albeit unnecessary. Any semblance of respect or cordiality toward his sibling had long since vanished.

“Desire. I stand in my gallery and I hold your sigil. Talk to me.”

In that instant, red fog materialized within the heart, and Desire's face appeared on its surface, smiling in that languid way Morpheus could barely tolerate. “Why, sweet Dream, this is a surprise. Almost an event, I might say—”

Impatient with their response, he cut them off abruptly. “Good. I’m coming through.”

Desire's expression flickered momentarily, a brief flash of unease quickly masked by their typical nonchalance. “You are. But of course.” They lounged in their gleaming red chair, clad in a provocative black catsuit, legs elegantly raised. “You know you’re always welcome in my chambers.”

Morpheus stepped forward, his surroundings shifting from the opulent darkness of his castle to the bright, blood-red walls that enveloped the entire space, reminiscent of a human heart. He strode forward with measured steps, barely containing his seething rage. His clenched jaw and furrowed brow betrayed the intensity of his emotions.

“Lovely to see you,” they purred with a husky voice. “Can I get you anything you desire?”

They now lay on their front, facing the King of Dreams with a wide grin, their cat-like tail swaying sinuously of its own accord.

“I desire nothing from you, save some answers.”

“Ooh. Is this a test?”

“Unity Kinkaid should’ve been the Vortex of this era,” he began without preamble. “But someone took advantage of my imprisonment and fathered a child with her, knowing full well that it would become the Vortex, and I would be forced to kill it.”

Desire's unrepentant smirk and relaxed posture spoke volumes to Morpheus. Their bearing betrayed not even a shred of regret.

Not that he'd expect anything less from the one who consistently went to extreme lengths solely to wreak havoc on his existence.

“Was I really that obvious?”

Morpheus's face contorted in exasperation, a sardonic smile playing across his lips. “No. You covered your tracks remarkably well.”

“That’s high praise coming from you,” Desire replied, straightening up with effortless grace.

“What did you truly intend? That I should spill family blood? With all that would entail?”

Desire made no attempt to justify their actions. Instead, they snickered, a broad and proud smile forming as they reveled in the intricacies of their scheme. “This time it almost worked.”

Morpheus recoiled at such a brazen admission, despite having anticipated it. A faint glimmer of hope had persisted that his suspicions might prove unfounded. Now, it seemed, the die was cast.

“My sibling. We of the Endless are the servants of the living, not their masters. We exist only because they know deep in their hearts that we exist. We do not manipulate them.”

He advanced, circling Desire slowly, a movement laden with multiple implications.

“If anything, they manipulate us,” he continued. “And you and Despair, and even poor Delirium would do well to remember that.”

He halted behind Desire, who tensed visibly in their seat.

“Your meddling with the Vortex, attempting to bring about my destruction through Rose Walker… that, I expected from you. But to involve her...” His eyes narrowed, a storm brewing behind his gaze.

Desire chuckled nervously, feigning innocence. "Ah, you mean your little mortal lover? I must say, I was quite intrigued by her charm. I merely wondered what captivates you about her, and if she might be easily swayed."

Morpheus' presence loomed behind them, an ominous shadow. “You attempted to use her against me, but she did not fall for your games.”

Desire’s smile faltered ever so slightly. “She was more resilient than most. But come now, dear brother, surely you can’t blame me for testing the waters. After all, love and desire are not so different, are they?”

Morpheus’s voice dropped, a chill entering his tone. “Do not mistake your nature for mine. Love is not a weapon to be wielded.”

“But isn’t that exactly what you fear, my sweet Dream? That your precious love could be your undoing?”

"Your aim was to ensnare her in your schemes, to draw her into your web of deceit. You have underestimated her. She is far beyond your reckoning—as am I. I shall not permit you to transmute her feelings into something malicious."

Desire's grin widened. "What can I say? She's a tantalizing blend of vitality and promise, an irresistible temptation to one such as myself."

In a swift motion, Morpheus seized Desire's hair, yanking their head back as he finally snapped. He leaned in close, his face mere inches from their nose, eyes blazing with barely contained fury. “Mess with me or mine again and I shall forget you are family.”

A foreboding silence ensued.

“Do you believe yourself strong enough to stand against me? Against Death? Against Destiny?”

Desire's crimson lips pressed into a firm line, their shoulders quivering from the strained position, and from something else entirely.

After a tense pause, they choked out a reluctant reply. “No.”

Morpheus released his grip, roughly shoving Desire's head forward, then strode away. “Remember that next time you’re inspired to interfere in my affairs.”

"Oh, poor Dream. I really got under your skin this time, didn’t I?" Desire mused, though their brother had already returned to his own realm, beyond the reach of their taunting words.

Their toothy grin then faded, replaced by a more serious, menacing stance. “Next time, I’ll draw blood.”

The ominous declaration hung in the air, audible only to Desire in the unsettling silence of their domain.

You were utterly astonished, your breath caught in your throat and your eyes widened in disbelief. Morpheus had invited you to stay in his realm for what would feel like several days to you, though it would translate to mere hours in the Waking World. His intention was to provide you with a peaceful interlude, free from any tumultuous events and offering you an extended respite from your professional responsibilities.

To accommodate your stay, a private room had been meticulously arranged for you atop one of the castle's loftiest towers. Its walls were painted in velvety shades of blue and purple, the colors transforming subtly as if alive. They flowed into one another like liquid silk, creating a gentle, mesmerizing motion around you. In the center, against the back wall, stood a magnificent canopy bed. Its frame, carved from dark, polished wood, featured intricate designs that seemed to weave a tale of ancient dreams.

The canopy itself was draped with gauzy, shimmering fabrics that sparkled as if woven with stardust, catching the light from crystals hanging above like a chandelier. The bedspread, a rich deep blue with silvery threads running through it, created patterns of constellations mirroring the night sky outside.

Around the room, clusters of moonflowers bloomed, their petals pulsing faintly with an otherworldly luminescence. The air was infused with their delicate, sweet fragrance, which mingled with a faint, earthy scent from large amethysts strategically placed throughout the space. The crystals emitted a soft radiance, creating a soothing atmosphere that calmed the mind.

Glass doors, framed by heavy curtains that echoed the room's rich hues, opened onto a spacious balcony. As you stepped out, a breathtaking panorama unfolded before you—an endless expanse of the Dreaming. Rolling landscapes stretched from lush forests to serene lakes, all bathed in the pale glow of a gracefully arcing crescent moon. The stars seemed impossibly close, larger and brighter than you'd ever seen, as if you could simply reach out and pluck them from the sky.

On the balcony, a couple of chairs and a small table were arranged for quiet contemplation of the realm's beauty. Silver vines, sparkling like frost, entwined the railings. The flooring appeared to contain a living galaxy, trapped within its surface.

You were gazing at a true sanctuary, a place so magical and fabulous that you almost feared staining it with your shoes. Yet, no matter how many times you paced back and forth to admire it, everything remained incredibly pristine.

"Morpheus, I... this is..." you stammered, your voice quivering with emotion. "I'm completely at a loss for words," you finally managed, overwhelmed by the sight before you.

Morpheus, who had been observing you quietly from the entrance, offered a contented smile. "I gather you find it to your liking," he remarked, a hint of satisfaction in his voice.

Your eyes lit up with joy, a wide grin spreading across your face. "Like it? Morpheus, I absolutely adore it! It's beyond anything I could have ever imagined."

He stepped forward, gently taking your hands, a gesture you immediately reciprocated. "You deserve this and more."

"You're amazing. I've said it before, but I feel compelled to reiterate just how incredible you are."

Morpheus's deep, cerulean eyes softened, his cool touch grounding you amid the surreal wonder of your surroundings. The faint light in the room reflected off his pale features, accentuating the timeless beauty of the Dream Lord. His smile, typically reserved, broadened at your words, revealing a rare glimpse of warmth.

"You flatter me," Morpheus replied, his voice like a gentle breeze that stirred the petals of the moonflowers nearby. "But the Dreaming is as much yours as it is mine. Here, you are not bound by the limits of your world. Let your imagination run free, for it is your dreams that shape this place.”

You shook your head. "No, Morpheus. It's your essence that keeps this realm alive. I'm eternally grateful that you've allowed me to experience even the tiniest fragment of it."

"All that I am, all that the Dreaming encompasses... it would be but half as vibrant without your presence within it."

You chuckled, planting a soft kiss on his cheek and giving his hands a gentle squeeze before releasing them. "I see. We could go on praising each other endlessly if we don't stop now."

Morpheus' smile persisted, a wordless acknowledgment of your observation. Indeed, he would express his admiration and love for you in countless ways, for as long as you lived.

Upon turning, your attention was drawn to an item that had escaped your initial inspection. A dark nightgown rested elegantly across the bed, its fabric decorated with tiny, shimmering filaments that also sparkled like distant stars. Approaching it, you marveled at its elegance, your fingers gliding over the smooth, luxurious material.

"Is it possible for me to stay here?" you inquired. "Wouldn't my physical presence in the Dreaming disrupt the natural order of the universe, or something?"

"I've granted you permission to stay," Morpheus assured. "The Dreaming recognizes and respects your reverence for it."

"The Dreaming is important to me."

"You are under my protection. While the Dreaming is not a place for mortals to explore in their waking, you possess a unique understanding of it."

Lapsing into silence, you began removing your shirt, the hem gradually rising past your arms, chest, and head. Morpheus respectfully averted his gaze, staring out at the dream sky as you changed. His consideration for your privacy was incredibly sweet and tender, especially given the number of times he had seen you naked.

You offered a sheepish smile, though he couldn't see it. Carefully, you removed your shoes, stepped out of your jeans, and deftly unhooked your bra, letting it fall to the floor. The ambient air caused your nipples to harden, prompting you to instinctively cross your arms over your chest.

For a moment, you longed for his eyes to caress your form, for him to reach you and envelop you in his embrace, to press his lips against yours, to lose yourselves in passionate intimacy. Ultimately, you realized that despite your desires, the moment wasn't opportune. You had endured a long day filled with ceaseless events, each more intense than the last. Morpheus intended for you to rest, and try as you might to deny it, you could feel fatigue creeping in.

You took the nightgown, slipping your arms through the openings, and gently pulled it on. As the fabric cascaded down your body, it felt as if a pair of soft, velvety hands were sliding over you, a sensation both comforting and ethereal. For a moment, you stood mesmerized, staring at the nightgown adorned with glittering stars. The celestial pattern flowed from the delicate straps to the black lacy hem that brushed your thighs.

Ready for bed, you moved your bare feet across the polished floor, its surface lukewarm against your soles. Morpheus turned to face you, his visage fixed upon you with a concentration that quickened your pulse. His eyes lingered, his expression a mixture of awe and adoration. For a moment, he was rendered speechless.

You smiled, a playful glint in your eyes. “What is it? Do I look weird?”

Morpheus moved towards you, coming to a stop mere inches away. "No," he murmured, his voice as soft as a gentle breeze. "You look exquisite."

A warm blush crept across your cheeks, suffusing your face with color. “You really think so?”

He reached out, gently taking your hand in his once more. "You are more beautiful than all the dreams I’ve ever crafted."

“You keep saying that.”

“It is true.”

You pressed yourself against him, nestling into the crook of his neck. "You make me feel so good about myself," you whispered. "Truly special."

"You are. Beyond words or measure."

"I wish I could stay here with you forever."

His fingers curled around the material of your nightgown, circling your waist. "You may return whenever you wish, my love. For you, the Dreaming will always be open."

Morpheus possessed a remarkable ability to ground you, instilling a sense of belonging wherever you went, provided he remained by your side.

And so, you inhaled his intoxicating scent, brushing the tip of your nose along his jaw and cheek, bringing your lips tantalizingly close to his. Your breathing quickened as your mind wandered to all the intimate possibilities awaiting you, right there in that room, on that bed, with your body adorned in that breathtaking nightgown.

You kissed him, slow and deep, your fingers weaving through his hair. It was a desperate endeavor to kindle his passion, to tempt him into abandoning his restraint. But you should have known better; his resolve was as unyielding as a mountain.

"My love," he breathed, his lips barely parted, your eyes half-lidded.

“Yes?”

"You need rest," he said, his voice a calming reminder.

"I need you, Morpheus. I want you so badly right now."

Your boldness surprised even you, but given your recent trip to Cape Kennedy and the partial destruction his realm had faced due to the Vortex, you'd hardly had time to savor his company.

Though undeniably tired, your crave for him surpassed your physical weariness.

He claimed your lips again, exhaling softly as his body tensed against yours. However, just as you thought he was about to fulfill your yearning, Morpheus pulled away.

“You don’t want to…?” you asked, your lips forming a disappointed pout.

"I do. But your well-being takes precedence. Sleep now, my love. There will be ample time for that, and anything else you may wish for."

As he spoke, his fingertips caressed your cheek with heartwarming tenderness, leaving a trail of excitement in their wake. Leaning into his touch, you tilted your head slightly and released a trembling sigh. “I’m sorry.”

"You need not apologize to me."

"I don't want to come across as pushy or make you feel uncomfortable in any way."

"Y/N, I would never dismiss your advances.”

"Even if I become overly demanding?"

"You could demand the entire universe, and I would rearrange the stars and planets to give it to you."

You laughed, enveloping his neck with your arms and planting a final, impish kiss on his lips. "I'd appreciate it, but perhaps we should leave the cosmos as it is."

Subduing your appetite for him, you disengaged from Morpheus and tucked a stray lock of hair behind your ear. But just as you prepared to return to the bed, the Endless bent down, scooped you up by your legs, and cradled you in his arms bridal style.

It was unexpected, but so delightful that you immediately relaxed against his chest. “What are you doing?” you queried, your eyes twinkling with amusement.

A rare gleam of mischief flickered on his face. “I am ensuring that your journey into sleep is as peaceful as the dreams that await you.”

"My, my, you never cease to surprise me, Dream King."

You draped one arm around his shoulder for support while bringing your other hand to rest gently on the nape of his neck. Unable to resist his nearness, you peppered his lips, chin, and temple with delicate kisses.

At times, you worried about being too clingy or intrusive, but Morpheus had never expressed or shown any form of opposition.

The trek from the balcony window to the bed seemed all too fleeting, and as he carefully placed you on the mattress, you found yourself reluctant to let go.

The covers had been magically lowered, beckoning you to sink into the pillows and let the sheets embrace your legs. The mattress was as plush as a cloud, gently hugging your body as you sank into its softness.

"Will I still be able to dream, even though I'm already in the Dreaming?" you asked, curiosity lacing your voice.

"Yes. The Dreaming reflects your mind, desires, and fears. Here, your dreams may spring to life, more vivid and interwoven with the world around you. They might merge with reality, bearing greater significance and substance."

Your eyelids grew heavy. "My dreams are always vivid, particularly those featuring you."

He stroked your hair, pulling the covers up to your chest. You felt as though you were bathing in a sea of stars, with the lively shimmer and constellations dancing all around you. "Then, let me reveal to you even more—all the wonders my realm has to offer."

Tiredness crept through you and shrouded your thoughts. The delectable scent of moonflower soothed your senses, while Morpheus's lips on your forehead cocooned you in a tranquil haze.

"Goodnight, Mr. Sandman," you said teasingly, an utterance which made him smile anew.

Your grip on him loosened as sleep overtook you. Morpheus watched your resting form, his eyes filled with wonder, as if beholding the most magnificent celestial being in all of creation.

"Sleep well, my heart. Know that I am with you in every shadow and every star. May the Dreaming guide you to a peaceful slumber."

His words vibrated in the recesses of your consciousness.

"Until dawn summons you back to me."

Tall grass brushed against your hands with remarkable clarity, and every color and detail stood out vividly, even in the nocturnal atmosphere. Towering trees loomed above, their leaves gleaming under an unseen moon. Cool air carried the scent of earth and pine, infused with a subtle magic that made each breath invigorating.

A mystical forest materialized before you, a scene glimpsed in previous dreams, yet now strikingly different. Your heightened awareness went beyond your typical dream lucidity, resulting in something you could easily mistake for reality.

In a sense, it actually was, for the Dreaming existed as a tangible dimension.

As you ventured deeper into the forest, the path beneath your bare feet began to glow with celestial light, guiding you forward. Your nightgown complemented the luminous trail, its imbued glitters sparkling with each step.

Emerging from the woods, you discovered a lake of spectacular radiance, its surface covered by an almost blinding blue energy, as if it were a pool of liquid sapphire. It resembled tonic water under UV light.

The air was rich with earthy aromas; damp soil, wildflowers, and fresh grass, mingled with the subtle sweetness of mixed herbs and trees. Perhaps palm or willow contributed to this intoxicating blend.

However, the scene was not yours alone to witness. At the lake's edge stood a magnificent deer, its form adorned with green patterns that swirled across its body in intricate designs. The creature appeared awe-inspiring, regal and enchanting in its beauty. Its grace seemed almost sculpted from the dreams themselves.

As the splendid animal turned its neck to face you, its identity became unmistakable.

"It's you," you declared, closing the distance between you and the familiar. "I've been wondering where you went."

He inclined his head, a gentle smile in his eyes. "Y/N, it's wonderful to have you here."

"This place is fantastic," you expressed. "It's as if it's been lifted from the pages of a fantasy novel."

"Like a dream come true?" he asked, his voice gentle and melodious.

You bent forward, delicately running your hand along the deer's neck. "Exactly.”

"This forest is a manifestation born from the very essence of your dreams," he explained.

The patterns on its fur seemed to dance in harmony with the lake's melodious ripples, reflecting in your eyes. They seemed to incorporate elements from Native American folklore and Celtic traditions, subjects that had always fascinated you in books and films.

You smiled, turning your attention to the luminous surface of the water. "What kind of lake is this? I've never seen anything like it.”

"It is formed from your spirit as well. The Dreaming molds itself to your subconscious."

Surrounded by the forest's brilliance and comforted by your familiar's presence, you felt a powerful connection to both the Dreaming and Morpheus. His care to you infused every aspect of your dreams, embedded into each detail, from the gentle rustle of leaves to the faintest whisper of wind.

"If you wish, you can peer into the water and observe the thoughts lurking just beneath your conscious mind. It's a mirror of self-discovery, offering a glimpse into parts of yourself that often remain veiled from awareness."

"Will it be scary?"

"It depends on your perspective," he replied thoughtfully. "Some mortals might find this daunting or unsettling, as it could bring up fears and guilt they're not yet prepared to face."

“Sounds harsh.”

"It can be. But you, my dear, will be just fine."

With a mixture of worry and trepidation, you approached the azure expanse and knelt at its edge. As you looked into the water, your reflection stared back at you, but it wasn't just your own image you noticed there. The surface immediatly revealed scenes from your life, both waking and dreaming, flashing across it like an animated slideshow of memories. Each scene was connected by even more glowing threads that took form, extending from the deer's fur to the lake itself in a delicate web of light.

Visions of your childhood flashed across the surface, moments of joy and tranquility shared with your father or spent in peaceful solitude. Your teenage self appeared next, sketching and planning dreams that would take years to materialize. A more recent picture followed: you with tears streaming down your face as fears about your future tore at your heart. Then Hob's warm smile came into view, followed by the kindly faces of Mr. Burgess and Mr. McGuire.

But there was more. Shadows expanded like black ink, staining parts of the moving canvas and distorting the images. The sight disoriented you, but only for a moment, as you recognized it as nothing more than a recreation of your darkest feelings; loneliness, anger, and pain.

All things you believed you had moved past, but clearly hadn't fully processed yet.

Finally, you saw Morpheus, seated in the glass bowl in the basement, a poignant reminder of your first encounter. Your relationship played like a documented love story, with scenes switching from one to another in a never-ending transition of moments. As the images flowed, the lake's radiance grew more intense. The water sparkled with an increasingly vivid glow, showcasing the depth and richness of your flashbacks.

Your eyes stung, yet tears didn't fall. The rolling clips formed a mosaic of emotions, where deep sorrow merged with pure joy, creating a bittersweet movie of your life's journey.

“Are you okay?” The deer asked, nuzzling your hair.

"Yes. This is really nice, actually."

"I am here with you, and so is the Dreaming. Always, Y/N."

“I know.”

You reached out to stroke him again, your fingers tracing each contour of his green swirls. You settle more comfortably onto the grass, your nightgown spreading around you like a silken carpet, now expanding gracefully to the ground.

"Morpheus mentioned that I could give you a name. And I believe you really need one at this point."

His eyes widened with intrigue. "A name? I hadn't considered that possibility."

"Would you like me to find it for you?"

“I mean… I suppose? Surely you can conjure something imaginative for a Dream like me.”

You furrowed your brow, deep in thought. Your extensive reading had introduced you to a treasure trove of captivating names and terms. One of them would certainly be fitting for your familiar deer. You wanted something meaningful, an appellation as majestic as he appeared to be.

"Let's see. Morpheus created you as a guide, and right now, you shine like a beacon in the night."

"Ah, I like where this is going," he said, his ears perking up with interest.

"Stars have long been used for navigation too. Are you familiar with Peter Pan? There's a famous quote: 'Second star to the right and straight on till morning.'"

Indeed, celestial imagery had become a recurring motif in your experiences within the Dreaming.

“Star… ‘Sic itur ad astra’, 'thus one journeys to the stars’. That’s what Virgil wrote in the Aeneid.”

The deer nodded attentively.

“Star. Astrum in latin, and ‘astron’ from ancient Greek. Astrum’s accusative plural form is in fact, ‘Astra’.”

In that moment, inspiration struck like lightning. "Hold on—'Astra'!"

Faced with a destructive force threatening the Dreaming and mortals losing their connection to the realm, Morpheus crafted a familiar to walk beside you in his absence. Like a celestial compass, the deer navigated you through the shadows, guiding you back to the right path whenever you lost your way. Such a name could not have been more appropriate.

He pranced excitedly. "That's quite impressive! You don’t disappoint."

"So, what do you think? Does it suit you?"

"It’s great!”

His enthusiasm was touching, and you delighted in the way he expressed his happiness, frolicking and pirouetting to an invisible rhythm.

He cleared his throat, assuming a solemn stance in front of you, and performed a reverent bow. "I, Astra of the Dreaming, vow to be your guiding star, now and forevermore."

A sense of warmth and gratitude filled your heart. He drew near, allowing you to cradle his muzzle in your hands as your forehead touched his. The green patterns adorning his fur intensified their luminescence, while your Moonstone pendant responded with its characteristic blue gleam.

A new bond was forming, a promise sealed by the very fabric of the universe.

Unbeknownst to you, the Dreaming was seamlessly intertwining with your essence, just as you had become an inseparable part of its grand design.

Several hours passed before you opened your eyes to find the sky had transformed into bright daylight. Your room remained as fantastical as it had been at night, though the overall magic was more pronounced in the darkness. You stretched your arms and took a deep breath, feeling your entire body rejuvenated in a way that defied description.

Rising from bed, you stepped onto the balcony and gazed in awe at the lively spectacle of the Dreaming unfurling before you. The greenery was even more lively and dazzling, while the sky stretched out like a clear, infinite canvas.

You returned inside, a bright smile adorning your face. As your eyes swept the room, you caught sight of something voluminous hanging from the canopy on the other side of the bed. It was a dress you instantly recognized, one that had adorned you in your dreams before. Evidently, it had captivated Morpheus’ attention, standing out among the myriad outfits you'd worn during your nocturnal adventures.

You ran your fingers along the dress's lengthy gown, admiring its softness and lightness. The Endless’ devotion to every detail your conscious mind conjured was a testament to his deep affection for you; he felt compelled to not only track those elements but also manifest them in physical form within his realm. At that moment, you felt certain that there was nothing he couldn't provide for you.

As it turned out, the room held even more surprises in store.

Your exploration led you to a stunning wardrobe tucked away in a distant corner, crafted from ancient wood and embellished with intricate gold carvings. As you opened its doors, you gasped audibly at the spectacular array of dream dresses inside, each one perfectly aligned, flawless embodiments of your creations.

But there was more. Upon checking the first drawer, you couldn't suppress a giggle upon discovering an elegant lingerie collection, perfectly folded and displayed as if in a high-end boutique. Though not overtly provocative, the pieces reflected Morpheus' refined taste and his preference for you.

It was exceptional, a level of care and consideration you couldn't expect from anyone else. It all made you feel at home, as if you had just begun to truly live there.

Smiling, you chose an elegantly embroidered set of undergarments, ready to begin your first full day in the Dreaming. The best aspect of that extraordinary sojourn outside your familiar world was the genuine feeling of wonder it evoked. Every moment unveiled itself as an authentic revelation, each one a miniature miracle in its own right.

Just as you thought you had unveiled all the room's secrets, you discovered a mysterious door partially concealed within the wall—one you were certain hadn't been there the night before. Carefully, you placed your hand on the golden handle, turning it slowly, until you heard a soft click. The door swung open, inviting you to step into the unknown.

What appeared before you made your knees weak, and you had to brace yourself against the doorframe, mouth agape and a hand pressed against your chest. You blinked repeatedly, your eyes widening in disbelief as they took in the vast, fantastical spa-like bathroom before you. Polished amethyst lined the walls, casting a soothing purple luminosity that danced across the crystalline surfaces and complemented the bedroom's decor. The air was infused with the calming scent of lavender, enveloping you like a sweet embrace.

At the room's center stood the focal point: a Greek-inspired bathing pool seamlessly integrated into the floor. Smooth stone bordered it, covered in intricate engravings of old symbols and designs that seemed to undulate with the flickering light. The water, crystal-clear, fresh, and pure, was in constant motion, regenerated by a neverending current. Its surface sparkled with a faint iridescence, reminiscent of the lake in your dream, inviting and warm.

At the far end stood a fountain, similar to the famous statues you'd encountered in museums and presenting a similarity to those in Morpheus’ throne room. The soothing sound of water cascading into the pool sent pleasant shivers down your spine, creating an atmosphere of ultimate relaxation.

You twirled around, hands clasped over your mouth, laughing in amazement. More Amethyst crystals of various sizes were scattered throughout, adorning the stones, ceiling, and columns, adding to the room's ambiance.

However, what you found incredibly shocking were the basins and sanitary fixtures, their surfaces glinting with a soft luster. Morpheus had accounted for every aspect of human physiology, attending to every facet of it. While it might have been embarrassing to contemplate, you were far too stunned to feel self-conscious about it.

A plush seating area was included, with soft towels and robes made of the finest materials, ready for you to use before, or after your bath. Makeup supplies were arranged on a table, complemented by a hairbrush and what appeared to be the Dreaming's version of essential oils.

As a final touch, Morpheus had added a large mirror, also decorated with gold and a hint of something more—perhaps moonlight itself captured and forged into a frame.

Words failed to express your emotional state, for such lavish treatment seemed befitting only of a king's devotion to his queen.

Accentuated by the joyful occurrence, you wanted nothing more than to become Morpheus' true partner in his realm. Your heart fluttered with the fervent hope that one day, in the not-too-distant future, you might join in matrimony with the Lord of Dreams himself.

Somehow, someway, as improbable as it seemed. It was an idea taking shape in your mind, one you wanted to indulge in for a while.

Feeling refreshed and clad in your newly acquired attire, you settled onto the balcony, allowing the Dreaming's breeze to caress your gown and hair. You were aware that Morpheus had numerous responsibilities, including ongoing repairs in the wake of the Vortex incident. You didn't mind that he wasn't there to greet you, because you knew he would always keep a watchful eye on you.

Lost in your reverie, you were startled by a gentle knock at the door. It opened softly to reveal Lucienne, bearing a tray laden with what looked like an exquisitely prepared breakfast. Her smile radiated warmth, and her demeanor exuded respect and kindness.

"Good morning, my lady. I trust you slept well?"

My lady…?

"I did, thank you, Lucienne. But please, there's no need for such formality. We're friends, after all."

"You are an honored guest at the moment," she stated. "It is of utmost importance that you are treated as Lord Morpheus desires."

With a dismissive wave of your hand, you said, "Oh, come now. I'm certain Morpheus won't take issue if you treat me as you normally would. I may be a waking guest at present, but I've visited the Dreaming countless times in my dreams."

Lucienne's tension visibly eased at your words, her smile broadening with sincere friendliness. “You really don’t know how important you are, do you?”

"I'm not really that important. I'm just… me. I'm the same person you found in the throne room months ago."

She placed the tray on the table, pouring inviting tea into a cup. She artfully arranged fresh fruit in a glass bowl, and set out a small plate with a pastry that looked too delectable to eat. But what sent your mind reeling was the aroma of bacon and eggs, smoky as though they had just been prepared.

"And how many dreamers have reached Lord Morpheus' castle during the Sleepy Sickness?” She quipped. “It is not even possible without his explicit permission, unless you are a Vortex. I recognized your uniqueness even then."

"I think that was more his doing, but... fair enough."

“Lord Morpheus has ensured that your breakfast is to your liking,” she said with pride. "Take your time and enjoy. He will be with you shortly.”

The bacon was perfectly juicy, just as you preferred it. The eggs were flawlessly cooked (you wondered if they were even created manually) with pristine whites and yolks that resembled liquid gold. The fruit platter displayed a selection of the plumpest, most luscious blueberries, blackberries, and strawberries you'd ever laid eyes on. The pastry, a slice of rich, velvety cheesecake drizzled with melted caramel, looked positively divine. The tea's aroma wafted through the air, a delightful blend of sweet vanilla and zesty citrus notes.

You were certain that every bite and sip would be nothing short of heavenly.

"Thank you, Lucienne. I truly appreciate this."

Maintaining her professional composure, Lucienne departed with a reverent bow, leaving you to your peaceful corner in solitude. As you gazed at your breakfast with a growing appetite, you realized that even winning the lottery couldn't compare to the extraordinary hospitality you were receiving.

Perfectly content with a full stomach and properly brushed teeth (yes, the bathroom even had a toothbrush for you with the necessities), you tidied up the table and set the tray aside. Your original clothes were neatly placed on a small couch in front of the bed, along with your forgotten bag, which you wouldn't really need. Your phone retained its charge, but predictably, there was no signal available. You switched it off completely to avoid unnecessary battery drain.

Given the difference in time flow between realms, you knew your absence from the Waking World would likely go unnoticed—or at least be perceived as brief compared to your stay in Morpheus’ realm.

True to Lucienne's word, the Endless appeared shortly after, his arrival as silent and graceful as a cat's. He manifested silently behind you, his breath warm against your ear, his hands gently resting on your waist. The moment felt intimate and romantic, like newlyweds sharing their first day together. You caught yourself, suddenly aware that your imagination might be getting a bit carried away.

"Thank you for this," you expressed. "It's been absolutely wonderful."

"I am pleased, my love," he replied. "And you are truly a vision to behold."

"I see you've been paying close attention to my wardrobe choices."

"I attend to every detail that concerns you."

"I can see that. And honestly, I have no grounds for complaint."

Turning in his embrace, you planted a delicate kiss on his lips. "I'm curious. What else do you have in store for me?"

"There is a task that requires my attention, and I wish for you to accompany me."

“Of course! What is it about?”

His hands trailed along your arms with a slow, gentle caress. "Would you care to observe me work?" he asked.

You arched an eyebrow, intrigued. "Really? You mean, like watching you create things?"

“New Dreams and Nightmares.”

"Oh, I'd love to see that!"

His characteristic subtle grin betrayed how deeply your enthusiasm filled him with pride and satisfaction.

“Then, come with me,” he invited, extending his hand with an elegant flourish.

You grasped it firmly, ready to embarking on a new adventure with the King of Dreams. Your anticipation grew as you prepared to explore more of his daily routine, in a world that differed exponentially from yours.

The possibilities were boundless, with no path set in stone. Your imagination was the only limit, as every thought and desire that crossed your mind could shape and fall within your grasp without constraint.

Thus, finding yourself in Morpheus' work area, you weren't surprised to see that he had chosen a seraphic beach. The calm sea waves lulled you, while the surrounding mountains created a Nordic atmosphere, with just the right amount of stillness in the air. In a way, it mirrored your own dreamscape, deepening your link with him.

You observed Morpheus standing before partially formed creations, beings yet to be fully defined and brought to life. He gazed at them in contemplation, hands clasped together, his head tilted slightly. As you watched, one of the figures’ face morphed according to his vision.

He remained silent, and you matched his quietude, perched on a nearby rock, taking care not to disturb his concentration. As an artist yourself, you comprehended the importance of uninterrupted focus.

The sky was dotted with scattered clouds, casting a somber mood, while occasional sunbeams pierced through the gloom. The weather was intentional, with not a single element left to chance.

You adored every aspect of it, the Lord of Dreams and his realm in all their multifaceted glory.

Eventually, Lucienne returned, walking calmly towards you and Morpheus with a book in her hands. It was a new piece of literature that had just appeared in the library: "Into The Night," a fantasy novel Rose Walker would write in the near future. The idea that any story could be found in the Dreaming before its author had even put pen to paper was mind-boggling. You felt a flood of happiness for Rose, knowing her long-cherished dream would become reality, a future she had yet to discover.

Morpheus then entrusted the Corinthian's small skull to Lucienne, asking her to safeguard it for him. She took it without any hesitation, offering a wider smile as the silver ring on her pinky caught a glint of the subdued light.

“Lucienne. Do you not wish to say hello?”

Right before the librarian could retreat, her footsteps silent on the ground, Morpheus' voice rang out, halting her departure. His newest creation, a humanoid silhouette formed from dense purple and blue smoke, seemed vaguely familiar, yet you couldn’t exactly place where you had seen it before.

The Dream expanded and transformed, revealing an evolved form you finally recognized from your recent dream visit. Before you stood none other than Gault, the Nightmare Morpheus had once banished for challenging the Dreaming's balance and rules, now reborn from her former essence. As butterfly-like wings unfurled from her back, she shrugged her shoulders, adjusting to the unexpected metamorphosis. Her eyes opened, revealing first a glimmer of confusion, then shock as she noticed the fluttering membranes.

“I merely wish to be a Dream and not a Nightmare. To inspire rather than to freighten.”

“The choice is not yours to make. We do not choose to be created. Nor do we choose how we are made.”

You inhaled sharply at the spectacle. Like a caterpillar, Gault had emerged as the new version of herself, elevated to the status of Dream after enduring such a painful time as a harbinger of fear.

Lucienne, for her part, was equally overjoyed. “You look gorgeous, Gault.”

Gault's jubilation could be perceived through the blissful smile illuminating her dark complexion. She stepped forward, looking at her appearance in disbelief. “Thank you, Lucienne!”

She was stunning, a living embodiment of an authentic fairytale. The same delicate purple cracks and lightning patterns she bore as a Nightmare still traced along her body, accentuating her unique presence.

“May I ask what made you change your mind about me, sir?” She asked Morpheus.

“I had no right returning here after over a century expecting everything to be just as I left it. Lucienne tried to tell me that. So did you.”

His gaze briefly met yours, seeking a moment of connection. “But now I’m listening.”

Your eyes glistened at Morpheus' growth. His willingness to reconsider past decisions and embrace change signaled a significant shift in his character.

You never saw malice or wrongdoing in Morpheus' actions, always understanding that his choices were necessary for both the Dreaming and the sake of the Waking World. However, you couldn't help but find it endearing to see him soften towards his Nightmare's wish.

“Or trying to,” he concluded, glancing towards Lucienne again.

The librarian was touched and satisfied with her lord's new interpretation of the rules. They exchanged a silent look of complicity, one that demonstrated their enduring trust would transcend centuries of separation.

“New Dreams,” he declared. “New Nightmares. A new age.”

How had you found yourself in such a privileged position? Being present in the world of dreams had already proven invaluable, despite only a few hours passing since your awakening. You were amazed by the serendipity that had brought you to that point, allowed to explore the creation of dreams firsthand.

“Miss Y/LN, I present you Dream of the Endless.”

Who could have imagined that a humble job as a maid would blossom into a love surpassing the vastness of the universe and all conceivable realities?

“Thank you, sir.”

Gault's wings undulated in unison, their pace quickening as they sent gentle gusts of wind your way. She ascended from the ground, flying higher into the sky towards the sun. She embarked on her new calling, seeking dreamers to inspire, fulfilling the very dream she had long held for herself. The three of you looked at her soaring form until she became nothing more than a twinkling speck in the distance, like a fairy vanishing into the heavens.

The scene was breathtakingly beautiful and poetic, something worth seeing with your own eyes.

“I might be here a while,” Morpheus said, addressing Lucienne. “Would you mind taking care of things while I work?”

“I am back now. You may return to the library.”

The stark contrast between his current statement and his previous one, the latter driven by anger and frustration over the Vortex claiming parts of his realm, did not escape the notice of either you or Lucienne.

The librarian, visibly moved by Morpheus' words, responded with a teary smile. “With pleasure, sir.”

Despite life's complexities, you couldn't help but relish in those moments of happy resolutions. While perhaps idealistic, they always warmed your heart in a way that was difficult to dismiss, even in the face of the inevitable ups and downs.

With a final nod, she turned and strode away confidently, carrying the power of the Dreaming with utmost diligence and care.

You waited for tranquility to settle over the scene again, leaving you and Morpheus alone in the serene surroundings.

Your smile spoke volumes without the need for words. As soon as he noticed it, he mimicked it with a restrained grin of his own. "What?"

Rising elegantly from the rock, your gown sweeping elegantly behind you, you moved toward him. "You have no idea how proud I am of you right now."

“Are you?”

"Yes. Gault is perfect, and you couldn't entrust your realm to better hands than Lucienne's."

"Y/N, you have been instrumental in bringing about these changes."

You blinked in surprise. "How so?"

"You possess wisdom and composure. You view everything from a distinct perspective, one that has never passed judgment on my decisions."

You smiled warmly. Your insights about change and the parallels you drew between his work and mortal creativity weren't intended to sway his perspective. Yet, as he acknowledged, Morpheus had truly taken your words to heart.

"For that, my love, I must express my deepest gratitude."

His lips caressed yours with a feather-light touch, his arms encircling your back in the sweetest enfolding gesture. The kiss tasted of midnight breeze, carrying whispers of starlight and moonlit gardens. An almost imperceptible flavor lingered, like the first sip of crystal-clear spring water after a long, arduous odyssey.

"Why are you so good to me, Morpheus?"

"I see no reason to treat you any differently."

You hummed contentedly against his neck, tightening your arms around it. "I hope you don't mind if I hold on to you for a while."

"On the contrary, I welcome it. You are a wellspring of inspiration."

As you stood in each other's arms, you felt the unmoving creatures behind you, their blank eyes and empty faces watching you both in silent witness.

“If that’s the case, then take all the inspiration you need from me.”

And so he did. His creativity flourished, and the Dreaming itself seemed to pulse with renewed energy and possibility.

Witnessing Morpheus craft his new subjects was incredibly entertaining, and his willingness to seek your input on his decisions filled your heart with elation. He deeply valued your human perspective and was committed to honoring it fully, incorporating your personal views and minor suggestions into some of his creations.

Throughout the day, Morpheus fretted that his tasks might bore you or that you could find your time in his realm filled with activities you weren't particularly interested in, but you consistently assured him of your fascination and expressed how fortunate you felt just to be there. You found time in the Dreaming passing far too quickly for your liking, a testament to how much you were enjoying yourself.

The only thing that began to concern you was the visible weariness on Morpheus' face, an understandable result of his ceaseless work. Although the King of Dreams required neither sleep nor sustenance, you realized that even an Endless like himself ought to take an occasional respite.

Thankfully, you persuaded him that operations were running smoothly and he had capable assistance at his disposal. Heeding your advice to step away from his responsibilities, Morpheus joined you for a walk through the palace's garden, another celestial oasis teeming with enchantment and ever-changing elements.

Some flowers' petals, like the walls in your room, glowed in a beautiful spectrum, switching from soft blues to pinks and purples. Other blossoms defied nature, appearing from thin air and floating like lanterns. Towering trees with silver-like bark stretched skyward, their translucent leaves unlike anything in the Waking World. Instead of water, streams of liquid light meandered through the ground, defeating logic as they formed from unseen sources. The air hummed with distant sounds, breezes rustling through trees, tinkling of invisible bells, and the quiet murmur of whispered dreams.

Morpheus remained silent, observing you as you explored the garden with childlike exuberance. He stood before you while you sat beneath one of the main arches, your gown cascading around your legs. You smiled, extending your hand to him in a wordless invitation.

Although his lips curved into a soft expression, you detected a hint of hesitation in his demeanor, as if he were uneasy about taking a moment's rest in his own domain.

"Come on, the ground won't swallow you whole."

He chuckled, taking your fingers in his and following your lead with curiosity brightening his face. You parted your legs to create a space between them, gently guiding him to turn around and sit with his back against you.

Initially perplexed, Morpheus wasn't sure what to expect from you. But as you encouraged him to recline, his head resting comfortably upon your chest, your intention became clear.

You encircled his torso with your arms and pressed your lips to his temple. "Hi," you said affectionately.

Morpheus exhaled, the weight of centuries momentarily lifting from his shoulders. For one who bore the vastness of dreams and the neverending burden of his duties, that moment of simplicity felt foreign, yet profoundly welcome.

“Hello,” he whispered back, his voice carrying a vulnerability you had never seen before.

“You don’t do this often, do you?” you asked quietly, your fingers bushing through his dark, tousled hair.

“I am not afforded the luxury of rest.”

"Well, even the Lord of Dreams needs some time to unwind every now and then."

Your hands rested gently on his chest, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breath.

"You make it natural for me to let go," he proclaimed

"Then I'll be here to remind you whenever you need it."

He lifted your hand to his lips, planting a kiss on your knuckles. "And here I thought I would be the one caring for you."

“Does it bother you?”

“No. It is just… unfamiliar.”

You tilted your head slightly, waiting for him to continue.

“I have always been the protector, the guardian. To allow myself to be cared for is a vulnerability I have seldom embraced. But with you… it feels different. It feels… good.”

A tranquil sigh escaped your lips. "I told you. You don't have to do everything alone. Let me share the weight with you."

"My love, these burdens are not yours to bear."

“You’re wrong.”

“Why?”

"Have you forgotten my words at the convention? I vowed to be your light, regardless of the challenges you face.”

Unlike those who had forsaken him, you swore to stand by his side, come what may. Knowing of a sibling who seemed particularly invested in destroying Morpheus, you were even more determined to stand your ground for him.

You were even prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice, laying down your own life if it meant ensuring his safety and continued existence.

"As a mortal, my abilities may be limited, but my commitment to you runs deep. I want to be a place where you feel safe and appreciated. That's what being devoted to you means to me."

Morpheus closed his eyes, allowing his body to relax fully. Lying somewhere without defenses, doing absolutely nothing—an activity he had previously dismissed as unnecessary—had now become his absolute favorite pastime, provided you were the one supporting him.

“You already are,” he responded. “And with you, Y/N, I find that I do not mind it.”

Unity Kincaid had permanently left the Dreaming during one of your night retreats. Missing your final opportunity to bid her farewell left you with a twinge of regret, but Lucienne assured you that Unity had been escorted to her perfect resting place, where she now dwelled in peace.

As time passed in the Dreaming, you grew increasingly certain that no other journey or getaway could ever compare. It seemed impossible to experience anything more extraordinary, with every imaginable marvel lying within arm's reach.

Amidst the vast oases, mystical caves, and worlds blending fantastical and realistic features, along with the food and drinks you savored, you were at a loss for words to describe the peace it brought you. The castle was a dynamic maze, unveiling new rooms and mysteries each day.

Assisting Lucienne with organizing literature and archives proved surprisingly enjoyable. Matthew's companionship was invaluable, always ready with witty remarks to lighten the mood. Even the seemingly cantankerous Mervyn the Pumpkinhead turned out to be pleasant company during his maintenance. Gradually, each Dreaming entity was becoming significant, leaving an unforgettable impression upon your soul.

At the heart of it all was Morpheus, who transmuted the impossible into reality in ways beyond imagination.

In the end, just when you thought he was not particularly inclined, he granted you that precious time for intimacy you had long waited for. Morpheus exceeded expectations, enthusiastically extending these moments across multiple rendezvous, offering far more than you had initially requested.

The first time Morpheus made love to you in his realm, fully awake and present, it unfolded naturally, without premeditation or orchestration. What began as a leisurely stroll through one of your favorite spots in the Dreaming, hand in hand, soon blossomed into a passionate exchange. Your lips met in a heated dance, kisses deepening with each passing instant, your desire igniting like wildfire. Morpheus gently lowered you to the ground, cradling your body close to his, the soft grass and fragrant flowers yielding beneath you to create a natural bed.

Your clothes vanished in seconds, leaving your naked forms pressed against each other as he delivered a series of precise thrusts that sent waves of pleasure through your body. The grass transformed continuously, enveloping the two of you with its velvety blades like a supportive cuddle. As you connected with the King of Dreams, you also became intimately intertwined with the Dreaming itself, becoming an integral part of it, seamlessly incorporated into its very terrain.

The ecstasy crescendoed to its zenith. Morpheus, though withdrawn, remained atop you, kissing you and basking in your warmth. Your fingertips traced the contours of his back, feeling each defined nerve and muscle. Lean yet powerful, his form was both comforting and sculpted. The delicious feeling of his statuesque body against yours rekindled your arousal, one that burned equally in Morpheus as your lips locked in an infinite pas de deux.

While making love in your dreams was extraordinary, the reality surpassed it by leaps and bounds.

Soon, his body signaled his readiness to rejoin with yours again. He positioned himself at your entrance, his eyes seeking your approval before proceeding. “May I?”

His unwavering respect for you was admirable, his devotion relentless.

“Yes. Please.”

Never had you longed for someone as intensely as you wanted him. It was intoxicating, an irresistible addiction. The moment he entered, gliding through your slick folds and exploring your depths, your eyes rolled back in sheer bliss. You moaned and trembled, biting your lower lip and whining whenever he struck the right spot, your sensations heightened and reset.

Morpheus required at least three rounds in a row to feel thoroughly sated, yet the resulting soreness in your limbs didn't bother you in the slightest.

Nonetheless, he sought your private company again the following day.

Seated before the bathroom mirror and swathed in a silky robe that clung to your curves, you prepared for a luxurious soak in the pool before bed. As you delicately removed the last traces of makeup with the plushest towel, you barely noticed Morpheus suddenly standing just steps away.

As you turned around, your breath caught and you froze in astonishment. Despite your best efforts to contain it, the shock was evident on your face. Morpheus appeared before you completely nude, his alabaster skin radiant in the soft light. His form embodied the perfection of classical sculpture, an excellent vision of flawless beauty. His overall magnificence was so outstanding that it nearly overshadowed his raging erection, sturdy and proud, irresistibly tempting.

In a way, yes, but not exactly.

With a mischievous smile, you abandoned the softness of the stool to approach the King of Dreams, your eyes briefly pausing on the flushed tip of his arousal before meeting his face. Confident and majestic, he waited for you to draw near, his jaw tightening as your robe loosened, revealing more with each step.

“Were you thinking of me?” you asked with a smile, sliding your fingertips along his chest, your lips mere inches away from his.

“My thoughts are always with you, my love,” he answered naturally.

You moved lower, grasping his length with your hand, guiding it in a slow, gentle motion. "It seems you're particularly pleased to see me."

“’Pleased’ is not quite the word I would choose.”

You circled his tip with your thumb, teasing the sensitive flesh. “Oh? And how would you describe it?”

He swallowed, his lips parting to release a soft sigh of relief. "I would describe it as... inevitable."

“Inevitable?”

"It is as inescapable as the pull of the tide or the turning of the stars. When you are absent, the Dreaming seems diminished, as if a vital part of me is missing."

Your stomach twisted, and your heart raced. “You saw me just an hour ago.”

"You are here, within the boundless walls of my realm. I am loath to squander even a minute of it."

Your smile widened with love. “Well, in that case…”

As you released him, your hand took his, which lay motionless at his side. Untying the sash of your robe, the garment fell open, revealing your womanhood and the swell of your breasts. You guided his index and middle fingers to your core, their tips slipping through your wetness and barely dipping inside.

Your knees quivered at the contact, but you held firm. “I’d say this is inevitable as well,” you concluded.

He inhaled sharply, the sound echoing in the intimate silence between you, a wordless understanding passing as he leaned closer. Your lips met in a tender kiss, sealing a moment rich with unspoken promises.

"You have an uncanny ability to enthrall an Endless."

“Are you suggesting that I'm driving you wild?”

"Perhaps," he mused, gently brushing a stray lock of hair from your face. "But only in the most delightful ways," he added, his voice full of affection.

You draped an arm around his shoulders, pressing your forehead against his cheek. His hand moved away, leaving you empty and craving more, only to pull you into his arms. He kissed your eyebrow and the bridge of your nose, treasuring the melodic sound of your soft chuckle reverberating through the spacious room.

As you gracefully retreated, your robe fell to the floor, uncovering the rest of your body. His eyes traveled from your neck, rested on the glowing Dreamstone, then trailed down to your nipples. He admired every curve, each detail a testament to the allure that attracted him. The air charged with anticipation as he advanced, once again grasping your hand in his.

Shifting aside, you led him backward to the pool's steps. Cautiously, you eased into the glistening water, the steam cloaking you both like a gossamer veil. The crystal-like liquid engulfed your feet, legs, and waist until it reached your shoulders. Morpheus followed, his hardness bobbing as he descended the marble stairs, submerging himself to chest level.

He could transform even such an erotic view into the highest form of art. He was absolutely hypnotic, something to admire without a trace of shame or embarrassment.

Holding onto his shoulders for support, you hooked your legs around his waist, the water's buoyancy aiding your graceful movement, as if you were weightless. Morpheus immediately clasped your thighs, aligning himself with your open folds and brushing his lips along your cheek. The fountain's sound created a heavenly retreat, its soft trickle providing a soothing backdrop.

With just a few more kisses, he cast aside any inhibition and entered you in one fluid motion. You moaned, adjusting your position to allow him to set the rhythm, and surrendered to his growing ardor as he moved in and out. Your bodies undulated together, the soft splashes of water creating a symphony.

Time seemed to fade away as the purple hue of the crystals illuminated the pool, generating a beautiful gradient transition. Morpheus' movements grew more erratic and fervent, eventually pressing you against the edge of the pool to gain leverage. His muscles tensed and rippled, his deep groans pulsating through his chest.

Your voice escaped you, uncontrolled, as you arched your back, overcome with intense pleasure. Your fingers interlaced with his dark locks, your nails gently grazing his scalp in a soothing caress. Morpheus was relentless, enraptured by your moans and how your body responded to his touch.

“Scream,” he commanded, delivering a powerful thrust that made you jolt and gasp. “Scream for me,” he urged again.

Unable to resist him, you let out a moan so powerful you could hear it bouncing off the walls, returning to you like a siren’s call.

He escalated his efforts, becoming more insistent, rough, and daring. He reached the most sensitive parts of you with practiced precision, coaxing soft whimpers from you. Your orgasm erupted suddenly, crashing over you like a tidal wave and leaving you limp in Morpheus' embrace. Moments later, Morpheus reached his peak alongside you, spurred by your inner walls contracting around him, and the unconscious fondling of your breast.

While some claim that aquatic sex falls short of expectations, with Morpheus, there was no possibility of disappointment or inadequacy. You felt spent yet complete, absolutely satiated.

"You are sublime, my love. Have I caused you any discomfort?"

You smiled, feeling him soften inside you, yet cherishing the physical union for as long as your bodies allowed. "Not at all. You're incapable of causing me harm."

"You have never feared me."

"No. How could I possibly fear you?"

Despite his capacity for intimidation, you consistently discovered enchantment in Morpheus, even during his darkest demonstrations of power.

"Yet, I can be truly terrifying," he said with a wry grin.

"Ooh, now you've piqued my curiosity."

He drifted away from the edge, carrying you with him as you clung to his form, your bodies connected in the water. "You do not wish to witness that side of me. But, if your curiosity is insatiable…"

Gently threading his fingers through your hair, he guided your head back without force, then placed an open-mouthed kiss on your neck.

"I shall utterly consume you," he purred playfully.

You let out a soft, contented sigh followed by a gentle laugh, folding your arms around him as if he were your lifeline. “Best way to die, really.”

"I'd much prefer to keep you alive and by my side."

Brushing your nose against his, you replied, "Good thing I have no intention of leaving you anytime soon."

Or ever, for whatever eternity might mean to a mortal like you.

Morpheus tightened his grip on you, plump lips grazing your right shoulder. Even the fountain statue across the room seemed to smile upon the scene, its constant waterfall creating a circular halo around your forms in the pool.

The third and final time you made love eclipsed any prior experience with the King of Dreams.

The night before your scheduled return to the Waking World, you had the most delectable dinner of your entire life. Though a week in Morpheus' realm had flown by, you couldn't postpone your work indefinitely, no matter how much you wanted to stay.

Although you were accustomed to dining in your private quarters, Morpheus chose a far more elegant setting, where he could also keep you company throughout the entire meal. He didn't eat, of course, but he remained seated at your side from the first course to the last, absolutely adoring the way you smiled with every bite.

The place he chose for you was a secluded area within his castle, situated on a high-ceilinged terrace with a breathtaking view of the landscape. The decorations resembled those in your bedroom, with silver vines adorning the columns, arches, and railing, interspersed with moonflowers and dark green leaves. The long, dark-polished wooden table was adorned with a delicate white lace covering.

The plates were night-blue ceramic, decorated with the customary theme of intricate constellations and twinkling stars. Complementing them were large, weighty glasses, masterfully crafted from the finest Aura crystal and purest gold. Candles scattered throughout emitted a soft, amber glow, their flames swaying in unison.

The dinner itself was a magnificent feast, each dish meticulously prepared to cater to your tastes and desires, yet infused with a celestial twist. Ingredients harvested from the very essence of dreams transformed every bite into a sensory experience far beyond anything the Waking World could offer you. From the most succulent meats and freshest fish to the tastiest, softest bread and the most delectable chocolate tart, you devoured every element with the appetite of someone who hadn't eaten in months.

As you enjoyed the final morsel of dessert, Morpheus inquired if you wished for anything else. You felt so pleasantly full that the mere thought of additional food seemed impossible for the foreseeable future.

Following your generous dinner, you embarked on a much-needed walk that proved essential for aiding digestion after your hearty meal. Morpheus regaled you with tales from the past, stories that had faded into forgotten legends. One such story recounted the time two ancient gods invaded the Dreaming in an attempt to seize control, and you were undoubtedly shocked as Morpheus described his imprisonment within his own castle

Despite his powerlessness, Morpheus ingeniously carved his siblings' sigils on his prison walls. In an ironic twist, it was Desire who answered his call, dispatching a dreamer to aid him.

Although Morpheus initially withheld certain facts, your inquiries prompted him to reconsider. He realized that hiding aspects of himself from you would be unwise, and recognizing this, he transported you to the very gates of his kingdom, a location you suddenly recognized as familiar from a distant dream.

Darkness enveloped you both, the night sky casting long shadows, yet you could still clearly discern the intricate details of the massive gate standing at the edge of the Dreaming. It rose imposingly from a vast expanse that looked more lively and flourishing than before, a sentinel marking the boundary between worlds.

"Morpheus... this is..."

"These are the Gates of Horn and Ivory," he explained, his voice resonating with ancient power. "I carved them myself many eons ago."

Your eyes narrowed as you scrutinized the intricate figures etched onto the entrance. "I've been here before.”

Morpheus turned to face you, his eyes widening slightly. "You have? That should be impossible."

You shook your head firmly. "No, I'm certain. I remember this place vividly."

You stepped forward, your dress billowing in the breeze alongside Morpheus' flowing coat. "It happened a few months ago, when we were still barely acquainted. In fact, I believe this was my very first dream ever. I had completely forgotten about it upon waking."

Morpheus listened intently, his silence encouraging you to continue.

"I suppose this is not a typical destination for mortals in their dreams, yet I found myself here. I distinctly recall these doors and the carvings. I remember touching them."

"And then?"

"Then I opened my eyes, and I was back in the Waking World. Nothing particularly thrilling to report, I'm afraid."

His cool fingers gently clasped your hand. "Would you like me to explain the significance of these gates?"

You nodded eagerly. "Yes. I'd love to hear about it."

"Dreams that pass through the Gate of Ivory are lies, while the the Gate of Horn only admits the truth."

You gazed upward, taking in the towering doors and the massive horns protruding from the rocky pinnacles above. "I assume this is the Gate of Horn?"

"You are correct."

"And… who is the woman depicted in these carvings?"

Morpheus stiffened, his eyes shifting away. "Her name was Alianora."

"Alianora… was she the dreamer Desire sent you?”

“Yes.”

His answer was brief and to the point. You noticed him glancing at Alianora's face, the tendons in his neck tensing.

"She was more than that, though. Right?"

"Why do you ask?”

"These carvings tell something else. I can see they are not mere decorations, Morpheus. She was your lover once, wasn't she?"

When your eyes met again, you saw the pain inscribed in his furrowed brows and pursed lips. You immediately perceived it as yet another star-crossed romance, one of the many heartbreaking narratives he'd rather forget than relive.

Most likely, it was a subject he would hesitate to discuss with you, out of consideration for your feelings.

"…We were in love," he confessed. “But—”

"It's all right. You don’t need to talk about it if you'd prefer not to."

He swallowed nervously, unconsciously tightening his grip around your hand.

The thought of his numerous past girlfriends and a wife, coupled with the likelihood that you wouldn't be his last, still caused an ache in your heart that was incredibly hard to suppress. However, you were confident in Morpheus’ love for you, believing it to be as strong as—or even surpassing—his affection for others, which had faded over time.

The future remained uncertain, an unpredictable path that remained beyond anyone's ability to predict. You chose to embrace the joy of the present moment, savoring a reality worth living without dwelling on hypothetical outcomes.

"Thank you, Morpheus," you said warmly.

“For what…?”

"For telling me the truth about Alianora, and for bringing me to the Gates. Your honesty and opennes about your past demonstrates how much you trust me.” You returned his squeeze, giving him a reassuring smile.

His irises captured the quintessence of the Dreaming as he looked down at you. His voice, usually so measured and distant, softened as he replied, "My past is filled with mistakes, and with those I have loved and lost. I have lived countless lifetimes, seen the rise and fall of empires, and walked through the dreams of gods and mortals alike.”

He cupped your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. "With every breath, every dream, and every waking moment, I shall endeavor to prove myself worthy of the precious gift that is your love.”

Grabbing the lapens of his coat, you whispered against his lips, “You already are,” repeating the same words he had spoken to you in the castle's garden.

That revelatory moment was followed by a final return to your chambers, where Morpheus departed with a sweet kiss on your forehead, leaving you alone with your bittersweet thoughts. You slipped into your luxurious nightgown, its glittering fabric evoking the starry sky above and mirrored the opulence of the castle. Perched on the bed’s edge, you found yourself engrossed in contemplation, your familiar world now seeming oddly remote, as though it were a tale belonging to someone else.

It simply defied description. Your journey into the Dreaming had awakened something different in you, a newfound certainty that shattered your previous understanding of yourself. It felt as if your perception had expanded, your inner vision broadening to embrace new possibilities.

Sleep eluded you, your mind too restless to succumb to slumber. You wanted to memorize every detail of the view into your mind—the majestic mountains, the winding rivers, and the vast forests painting the ground with sprays of verdant colors. Drawn to the balcony, you rested your hands on the broad parapet, your eyes drinking in the landscape.

You knew, with dreadful certainty, that you'd miss every aspect of the Dreaming, down to the tiniest grain of sand.

Little did you know, Morpheus had kept an additional surprise under wraps.

“Y/N.”

He stood right behind you, his lips curving into a subtle smile as you swiveled to face him. Surprisingly, he had returned despite your assumption that he'd retired for the night to handle his responsibilities, only to reappear the next morning to escort you back to the Waking World.

Overjoyed, you rushed to him as if reuniting after a long separation. You flung yourself into his arms, wrapping your limbs around his neck and waist in an elated embrace.

Morpheus caught you smoothly, his cool, steady hands supporting your back. A soft chuckle escaped him as he cradled you close. “You were not expecting me.”

“No, I wasn’t. I thought you had work to do.”

"I do," he replied, setting you down on the floor, his fingers resting on your sides. "But I have a more pressing duty at the moment."

The Dreaming seemed to narrow, focusing solely on the two of you. "Really? Are you referring to me?"

"There is something I have prepared for you that you must see."

"Another surprise? You're officially spoiling me now."

"You deserve the entire universe to bend to your will."

"What use is the universe when I already have my wonderful Dream King?"

"Then, allow your king to present you with one final offering. Close your eyes."

He placed his palm on your temple, his fingertips lightly covering your eyes. You obeyed his instruction, closing your eyelids and finding yourself enveloped in darkness. His touch was reassuring, a comforting presence in the void.

For a moment, you felt a subtle change in your environment. The air around you became salty and fresh, and the sound of crashing waves replaced the gentle flickering of burning lanterns.

"You can open them now, my love."

You complied, your trepidation mounting. As your vision cleared, you beheld one of the most sensational natural paradises, a scene you'd only glimpsed in documentaries and videos.

The ocean before you echoed the lake from your dream and the Greek pool in your bathroom. A distinctive blue bioluminescence formed along the shoreline, ebbing and flowing with each sinuous wave. The night sky displayed a mesmerizing array of moving galaxies, slowly swirling in a celestial loop.

"Morpheus... this is... it's not a new place, is it?"

"No," he confirmed, his voice deep and resonant. "This is your dream. I have restored it for you."

"You didn't merely restore it. You've enhanced it beyond my wildest imagination."

"Does it please you?"

“It’s perfect.”

Your voice quivered with emotion, and you made no attempt to conceal your feelings from him. The realization that he had taken the time to recreate your beach, amidst his countless duties, sent your heart racing to heights you feared might be difficult to reclaim.

Morpheus wrapped his arms around your waist, his breath whispering against your ear as he held you securely from behind. Leaning into his form, you delighted in the velvety sand under your feet.

You remained like that for a while, enveloped in serene silence, listening to the calming pulse of the waves. Morpheus' fingertips traced delicate paths along your arms as he placed feather-light kisses on your neck. His lips traveled lower, brushing against your shoulder, causing the thin strap of your nightgown to slip off. It rested loosely on your upper arm, revealing part of your chest while maintaining modesty.

Nevertheless, it was clear his intentions surpassed merely showcasing a reconstructed dream. His touch was intentional, his breath growing deeper and more impassioned.

You let him proceed, welcoming his hands as they explored your body. One palm moved across your stomach, while the other toyed with the delicate strap of your nightgown, now resting precariously on your arm. His lips found the sensitive curve where your neck met your shoulder, leaving another trail of kisses that expressed his fondness for you.

Your breath quickened as he pulled you close. His fingers curled around the fabric of your nightgown just above your pubic bone, tortuously grazing the edge of your clit without quite reaching it. The gentle brush of silk against your skin caused your nipples to harden, heightening your sensitivity to his every gesture.

"My love," he uttered softly. "I wish to make your final night in my realm unforgettable."

You swallowed hard, a new rush of desire instantly coursing through your veins.

"Permit me to embrace you wholly, to delve into the depths of our connection in ways yet unexplored.”

Unexplored…?

"Allow me to worship you in a manner that truly honors your worth."

Undoubtedly, that was the most eloquent and heartfelt way anyone could express their longing for intimacy with their beloved.

"I was already convinced the moment you brought me here, but please, don't stop with these beautiful words."

His breath caressed the nape of your neck, a subtle sign of his amusement. "You do relish having your king plead for your attention."

"Well, you've uncovered my secret," you said with a smirk. "But I have to say, I adore the sound of your voice."

“My voice?”

"You could say the most outlandish statement imaginable, and I'd still be on my knees for you."

As his fingertips traced along your bare shoulder, a delicious shiver ran down your spine. “Then you shall hear it as often as you require, for you are the only one to whom I wish to speak so freely.”

"I mean, I'd prefer those words be reserved solely for me, anyway."

"The words I speak, the things I feel, they are only for you.”

You turned your head, looking at him with wide, loving eyes. "I fell head over heels for you when you were still confined to that sphere. But I'm sure you're well aware of that."

Despite his omniscience, Morpheus seemed to ponder your confession, his face a canvas of curiosity and wonder. "Were you truly?"

"You didn't know? I thought it was rather obvious.”

"I was aware of the possibility, yet the full realization that your heart had already pledged itself to me eluded my grasp."

You melted against his chest, your fingers intertwining with his. "You were my anchor during the darkest times, and that's not an exaggeration."

The strap slid further down, leaving your breast nearly exposed.

"You saw me, even then. When I was trapped, powerless... you looked upon me with love, when I could give you nothing in return.”

Shaking your head, you spoke with a soft but resolute voice. "You gave me far more than you realize."

“How?”

"How could you not? Your eyes, your strength, your grace… it was all there, Morpheus. Even in silence.”

With gentle precision, he lowered the other strap. Though no words were exchanged, your silent consent had already been given, rendering his actions both accepted and awaited.

"I know you probably want to forget your time in captivity, but to me, you were incredibly beautiful. I wanted to set you free, to show you the respect they'd denied a god of your stature."

The top of your nightgown fell away, exposing your chest and gathering around your waist.

"Sometimes, when I think about it, I feel like I haven't done enough."

"It was your kindness that became my true escape," he intoned, his fingers easing the fabric down your sides. "You cared, even when I was not your responsibility."

"I wish I could have been there for you when they captured you. When they hurt you."

It was astonishing to think that during those events, you had not yet come into existence.

“If I were to endure another eternity of confinement, I would do so willingly, without hesitation, if it meant having just one moment with you by my side.”

The nightgown dropped to the sand, leaving you practically bare, clad only in delicate, lacy cotton undergarments.

"In all the time I have existed, I have known many things; creation, destruction, endless cycles of time and change. One moment with you eclipses the eternity I have lived, and I would sacrifice a thousand more eternities for a single heartbeat in your presence.”

Smiling, you stepped out of the nightgown and gently nudged it aside with your foot. Even crumpled on the beach, it remained a spectacular sight, its starry fabric seeming to have a life of its own.

"Well, let's hope you're never imprisoned again. I much prefer you free and close to me."

"I have no desire to be anywhere else but here with you.”

You hummed appreciatively, feeling a pleasant tremor as his palms moved up and down your stomach, teasing at the curve of your breasts, leaving them achingly untouched.

Then, something unexpected occurred. The sand around you began to rise, forming undulating, snake-like shapes that slithered up your ankles, calves, and thighs. As the grains coalesced into two sandy hands, you startled slightly at the unexpected intrusion.

“Ah—”

"Shh," he soothed. "Fear not. Every part of this realm is an extension of myself."

The newly formed hands, perfect replicas of Morpheus', skillfully caressed your skin. They delicately explored the line of your inner thighs, reaching the lace edges of your underwear. As they touched the fabric, it began to dissolve into nothingness, like wisps of smoke dissipating into the air.

"Does this discomfort you, my love?" I will cease if you wish it so."

It was unfamiliar, certainly not something you'd ever imagined in your fantasies. Yet, as you found yourself completely exposed, handled with such gentleness by Morpheus and those peculiar appendages made of sand, you couldn't deny the allure of your situation.

"No, it doesn't. In fact, I think I like it."

The touch was unmistakably his, belonging to Morpheus alone.

"Let my realm witness your magnificence in your entirety," he said huskily. "Let the Dreaming become one with you."

Fully unclothed, your body responded to the intimate atmosphere. Your nipples hardened into taut peaks, while your aroused clitoris emerged from its delicate folds, reminiscent of a flower in full bloom.

The ethereal hands drifted upward, skimming over your hipbones before trailing their fingers across your upper abdomen. This time, they continued to your breasts, cupping them with a soft squeeze and creating an immediate friction against your nipples.

More hands emerged from the beach, steadying your legs as they threatened to buckle beneath you. Morpheus' solid form melded with your back, his physical hands remaining still. The Dreaming itself, an extension of its master's will, came alive with purpose, its magical touch caressing your skin with a gentleness that belied its nature. As the boundary between Morpheus and his domain blurred, you found yourself immersed in a torrent of sensations, each grain of sand, each whisper of wind, an instrument in this symphony of ecstasy orchestrated by the Dream King himself.

Your eyes fluttered closed, your chest heaving as the sandy fingers performed a synchronized dance around your nipples. Your hips shook and swayed, seeking more stimulation, while your lower body yearned for something that remained elusive. Your clit throbbed as the cool air blew over it, while waves of pleasure emanated from those dreamy hands, sending tingles through your limbs and causing your muscles to ache.

"M-Morpheus," you gasped.

“My love?”

“Please… touch me…”

Your desperation had grown with surprising speed, bordering on shameful. Yet, when it came to the Endless, your self-restraint evaporated like mist in the morning sun.

He breathed into your ear. "I already am."

Ah, so he wanted to play that game now.

"Are you really going to feign ignorance about my meaning?"

"No. I would never leave my precious queen wanting."

Queen? Oh my. He certainly knew which buttons to push.

"You wouldn't, would you? Then, please."

As the sandy hands continued their sensual ministrations on your breasts, Morpheus' fingers skimmed down to your upper thighs. He kept them there, motionless, teasing you with their proximity to your most sensitive area and leaving you writhing for more.

"However, I must confess—I find pleasure in witnessing your insatiable hunger for me, my sweet."

Your sharp intake of breath punctuated his effect on you. "Well then, Your Majesty, what's it going to be?"

"I could grant your wish. Perhaps I will. But I am quite certain you possess the strength to resist it."

Ugh.

“Morpheus, I swear—”

"I could leave you here, at the mercy of my realm, watching you from afar. Admire your body writhing in pleasure and need for me."

As he continued his speech, the hands intensified their movements. Your nipples were pinched and flicked, while your entire body was covered by rivulets of golden sand.

“Don’t you dare—”

“—But I shall not.”

Morpheus grew bolder, his fingertips delicately brushing your sensitive folds, parting them with exquisite care. He exposed your clit to the cool ocean breeze, unveiling it like a pearl freed from its shell, as if the sea itself were a silent, mesmerized spectator.

"You're lucky I can't conjure extra limbs," you quipped.

“Or what?”

"You'd find yourself stripped naked in a heartbeat."

He loved every moment, each playful remark, every gasp, moan, and whimper that fell from your lips.

"But tonight, my love, is not about me."

"I don't care. You're breathtaking. I don’t need an excuse to crave the sight of you."

“Beauty is not something often attributed to me.”

You giggled as he began to lower you, all hands maneuvering your form onto a perfect sandy cushion. "You may not be typically described using human aesthetics, but you are beautiful, Morpheus. Not just in appearance, though that's undeniable. It's in the way you move, how your presence transforms the world around you, like an interplay of shadows and light."

He opened his legs, enveloping your smaller figure as he settled onto the shore, his arms encircling your waist. Only two of the sandy extensions remained, continuing to caress and fondle your chest, while those around your legs dissipated.

"B-but more than that, it's what I see when you're not trying to be the Lord of Dreams. When you're just... you. The way you care, the way you protect, the way you love.”

Finally, you yielded to the moment, settling against his torso as you spread your thighs. His fingers, at last, found their way to their eagerly awaited destination.

"You perceive more of me than anyone ever has," he said. "Perhaps I am as you describe, because I reflect what I see in you."

With masterful skill, he teased your clit in a slow, light stroke that transported you into a state of blissful rapture.

"Every part of you is a masterpiece," he whispered reverently. "Surrender yourself to me, my love. I will treasure it all."

A moan escaped your lips as your nails dug into the sand. His touch quickened, gathering your wetness and creating a perfect, slick stimulation that brought you closer to the edge. Your nipples throbbed and tingled, while Morpheus' unmistakable arousal pressed firmly against your back through his trousers.

"Don't stop," you begged, your voice thick with urgency. "I'm so close."

“I will not. Let me feel it.”

His fingers accelerated, tracing tight circles around your swollen bud. Simultaneously, the additional hands on your breasts tightened their grip and kneaded, causing your hips to buck wildly as his fingers pressed harder against your sensitive flesh. Pressure built to a crescendo, threatening to crash over you at any moment.

The familiar tension in your lower abdomen coiled tightly, ready to unravel. You draped one leg over his thigh, which he supported firmly, holding you in place.

“Ngh—you’re so good. Please, please, please—oh!”

It was indescribable, unprecedented, exceptional, unmatched.

Your orgasm struck you like a thunderstorm, so powerful that you felt certain your shudders and spasms would ripple through the entire Dreaming. The hands made of sand released you, dissolving and streaming down as the grains returned to their original form. Morpheus' fingers persisted, scarcely slowing their pace, continuing their relentless stroke even as the electric current of your climax began to ebb.

As the waves of ecstasy subsided, his fingers offered a few final, gentle caresses to your sensitive clit before coming to rest. He remained there, unmoving, allowing you to catch your ragged breath in the sanctuary of his arms.

Morpheus consistently made you feel secure, completely at ease with yourself and your surroundings. He effortlessly maintained an atmosphere of naturalness and comfort, perfectly attuned to your needs.

You rolled onto your side, disentangling yourself, and swept your hand across his chest before letting it drift up to touch his face. He smiled tenderly, drawing you closer as he affectionately pressed his forehead against yours.

"That was incredible," you breathed. "Absolutely mind-blowing."

"You truly inspire my creativity to reach new heights."

"Are you saying I could expect a full doppelgänger of you made of sand next?"

"If that is your wish, I could certainly arrange it for you."

You chuckled. "As great as this was, I prefer the original you over any replicas."

You initiated a kiss, which he reciprocated with ardent devotion.

"Speaking of which," you purred, breaking the contact. "I believe someone's eagerly **awaiting attention," you added with a grin.

Your hand trailed downward, touching the firm outline of his erection constrained within his black trousers. Morpheus held perfectly still, aquamarine eyes meeting your own, as he anticipated your next move.

You unfastened the button and zipper, carefully lowering his garments as much as his seated position allowed. As his hardness sprang free from its restraints, you let out a smug "Ooh," followed by a flirtatious "Hello." It was rather comical, to the point that even Morpheus, who seldom laughed and rarely joked, seemed genuinely entertained by your reaction.

There was no mischief, however, as you found genuine happiness even in your most intimate situations. Gently wrapping your hand around his tip and sliding it along his length, you stifled your giggles against his clothed chest.

"And you claimed you could leave me here and watch. Yet look at yourself now."

"I am not human. My capacity for restraint far exceeds that of mortal men."

You nodded. "True. But could you really just stand there and watch me without taking action?"

“…No.”

You were beaming, catching your breath, before giving Morpheus one confident, rather audacious lick along his neck, swiping your tongue over his pronounced Adam's apple. "Oh, Dream Lord, the things you do to me."

"I am here to offer you everything, and to receive all that you wish to give me."

Without releasing your grip on his manhood, you shifted onto your knees, steadying yourself with a hand on his shoulder. "How would you prefer to take me, my love?" you asked, your desire for him resurging in your core.

He grasped your waist, his thumbs tracing lazy circles on your skin. "I wish to have you in every way conceivable," he said in a low voice. "But for now, I'd like you to turn around and position yourself on all fours."

His commanding tone sent a thrill through you, quickening your pulse. You pivoted and settled onto your hands and knees enthusiastically, presenting your body to him like a precious prize, one he had rightfully earned and deeply deserved.

You could feel his piercing scrutiny, the rustle of his clothes as he adjusted his stance, and his long digits traversing your outer thighs.

"Your beauty rivals the stars above and surpasses the splendor of the ocean before us."

His rigid length pressed against your slick folds. "Be my light, tonight and for eternity."

Then, he fully sank in, his impressive length stretching and filling you completely. Your bodies merged in perfect unison, a testament to your physical and emotional compatibility.

“Yes!!”

Your response erupted as a strangled cry, both answering his words and reacting to the way your body accommodated him. You clenched around him instinctively, jerking forward as he began to move. He slipped in and out of you with a passion that spoke of a century of starvation, you were already primed and ready for him to claim you, requiring no further preparation.

The wet sounds of skin meeting skin, punctuated by the slick noises of his thrusts, blended perfectly with the pulsing sea waves. The shore shimmered and glowed, as if echoing the cadence of a heartbeat.

You pushed yourself up, remaining on your knees as your arms sought his form, your face turning to meet his lips in a hungry kiss. Your tongues entwined as your lips collided, fitting together like two halves of a whole. Sighs and more laughter mingled with your breathless encouragement for more. His satisfaction was evident in the darkening sparkle of his eyes, the open grin that graced his face, and the impossible growth of his hardness in you.

His hands cradled your breasts before gliding downward again. You invoked his name repeatedly, shaking and shouting in total bliss, your throat almost burning from the exertion. Your clit quivered with pleasure the moment he pinched it, rolling the sensitive bud between his fingers like a delicate knob.

"So good!" you exclaimed breathlessly. "I love you so much!"

"Your love is my lifeblood, matched only by the infinite depths of my devotion to you."

"More, please! Harder!"

He doubled his efforts, each powerful thrust accompanied by a deep groan, synchronizing with the relentless waves crashing even faster against the shore. The second orgasm built up so quickly that you wished you could prolong the tension, but judging by the way he throbbed against your core, you could tell that Morpheus was teetering on the edge right along with you.

A few more thrusts, coupled with the deft twirling of his fingers around your clit, were all it took to send you to the moon and back a second time. It was explosive, earth-shattering, and all-consuming.

Morpheus followed suit, his rhythm becoming erratic before he released himself into your depths with a guttural groan. His body shuddered and stilled as he reached his climax, his hands clutching your hips as he breathed in the intoxicating scent of your hair.

Even a being as powerful as him found himself vulnerable and defenseless before your charm.

He had given you the stars, quite literally. He incorporated you into his realm as an essential element, as if its very existence hinged on your presence there.

"You belong to me," he proclaimed, unfurling his coat and enveloping you in a protective cocoon as you collapsed onto his chest. "No one else will ever claim you or know you as I do. Your heart, your very dreams... they are mine alone."

His possessiveness surfaced, and you curled up close to him, his coat enveloping you like a warm, soothing bath. "I would never want to belong to anyone else, Morpheus. And you... you are mine too, right?"

It was a daring question, but one you had every right to ask.

“You hold my heart. In every way that matters, yes: I am yours.”

Your smile radiated as brightly as the luminescent ocean. Relaxing into Morpheus's arms, you were lulled by the natural melodies surrounding you, feeling his essence trickling out of your opening. You found it neither unpleasant nor embarrassing, but rather a fundamental aspect of your intimate bond that you hoped would endure forever.

Imperceptibly, you drifted into slumber protected by the Sandman himself, as if suspended amidst stardust. As the night progressed, Morpheus gently carried you back to your king-sized bed, your nightgown magically restored to its proper place on you.

Your skin was immaculate, clean and smooth, notwithstanding all the sand that had previously covered it.

For the first time, he stayed with you, seated on the edge of the mattress, observing your form in reverent silence. His gaze traced your angelic face framed by silken tresses as your head rested on the pillow, your chest rising and falling with each gentle breath. The moonstone gleamed in his presence, a unique token he could never craft for anyone else. The knowledge that you carried a part of him with you filled Morpheus with profound joy.

Out of the stillness, Astra appeared from the shadows, his hooves barely making a sound as he approached the bed. The delicate glow of the green patterns on his fur illuminated the space around you, casting a soft light on your sleeping figure. Morpheus watched as Astra lowered his muzzle to you, his warm breath brushing against your hand.

"Her presence in the Dreaming... it's unlike anything I've witnessed since you created me," he said. "She enhances everything here. Every corner of this realm, every dream, every creation you've ever made… they all respond to her, as if she breathes life into them."

Morpheus's eyes flickered contemplatively as he listened, attention drawn to you again. You stirred slightly in your sleep, a soft murmur escaping your lips as you unconsciously reached for the Dreamstone around your neck.

"She is no ordinary mortal," Astra continued, taking a step closer to Morpheus. "A unique aura emanates from her, and I believe it is her love for you. It permeates everything she touches."

Morpheus inclined his head in agreement. Since your arrival, the Dreaming's familiar landscapes had undergone a subtle transformation. Initially, the change was so slight that it escaped his notice, but as you rested, your body radiated an unmistakable energy, enveloping both him and Astra in its protective shield.

"I have noticed it," Morpheus replied, his voice scarcely above a whisper. "She is unlike any being I have encountered in all my existence."

Astra took another step, his glassy eyes softening as he looked back at you. "She is bound to this realm in ways that neither you nor I may fully comprehend yet."

Morpheus's fingers clenched briefly before relaxing. "She is leaving soon," he answered quietly, more to himself than to Astra. "But the Dreaming will always be a part of her. And she of it."

"Some bonds transcend severance, impervious to time or the barriers between worlds."

His emotions were conflicted—saddened by your impending departure, yet astounded by the impact you'd had on him and his domain. You had wielded the extraordinary ability to shape not only his heart, but the intrinsic character of the Dreaming along with it. How could someone as precious as you love him so deeply and unconditionally?

Morpheus experienced an unprecedented revelation. For the first time in eons, he grasped the significance of sharing the Dreaming with another being, of unveiling his true self and all he possessed. This revelation surpassed any insight he'd gained from past loves, be it Nada, Alianora, or Calliope.

His mistakes were indelible, and their consequences irreparable. But your gentleness was immeasurable and irreplaceable, your wisdom a fount from which even Morpheus himself could learn. You were extraordinary, delicate yet powerful, so intensely significant to him that Morpheus understood he had never loved anyone as strongly as he had fallen for you.

Losing you would threaten to leave an unfathomable void in his existence, potentially shattering him beyond imagination. Your absence would leave him utterly bereft.

"While she resides with us, my Lord, this realm thrives in ways even you did not foresee.”

Morpheus could only concur with his own creation's perceptive observation. He vowed to cherish every moment of your time together, knowing that your impact on his world, and his heart, would endure long after your return to your world.

For as long as eternity would allow him to adore you.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 (currently reading) Go to Chapter 22 (coming soon) ->

[yourdesertsunflower]

Boruto did a disservice to Temari

Sorry, in anticipation I warn you, this will be long. 

Okay, okay. I love Temari. She is my favorite kunoichi, I love each and everyone of her appearances in Naruto and Naruto Shippuden, I watched all filler that she was on, and I even have her on my avatar. So, yes, this by no means is to hate on the character but to actually show how Boruto writers completely misunderstood her. 

I’ll always love her character, but I got to admit I am not okay at all with somethings they are making her do in the Boruto’s anime. And no, it’s not because she moved to Konoha, or decided to take mainly the role a housewife (a bloody difficult job if you ask me) because I frankly couldn’t care less of any of that if she is happy. I really think that Shikamaru and Shikadai make her genuinely happy and that’s all I want for her. She had went from so much shit that I only want to see her feeling value and loved, that’s the least she deserves and her husband and son give her that. 

The problem is that, in most of her characterization in Boruto, I hardly see that Temari we got to know and love in the anime and manga of Naruto. Now when we get to see her in her recurring role in Boruto she is capitalized by her writers as a joke of the “crazy wife and mother that would rather hit you with your fan than having a civilized talk and will be angry twenty-four seven with no apparent reason.” 

And that, my friends, is not Temari. At least not the Temari I grew to love in Naruto.

Through this post I’ll try to explain why I think that that portrayal of the abusive housewife and mother that they give her in most of Nara Family moments in the Boruto manga, and specially the anime, is (in point of view) completely mislead. It had become clear to me, through my time watching the show, that Boruto writers are clearly not even trying to understand Temari’s character and how they are using her as a recurring joke rather than considering her as a real three-dimensional character. And I despise them for that same reason. 

So, without more vacillation, I’ll get started. 

1. Who is Temari?

Before venturing into everything that is wrong about the characterization of Temari in Boruto and trying to pin point when this actually started to happen, I would like to see deeper into Temari’s character. I think it’s only wby understanding her character previously from Boruto that we will actually understand how inconsistent is her writing in the show. 

I decided to base my analysis of Temari’s character in the Naruto series in two key aspects: an overarching analysis of Temari’s character profile using the Myres Briggs Personality Types and the Enneagram and in pin-pointing will pin point some specific moments of characterization in the manga of Naruto that show her character. 

Before starting with the analysis, I want to be clear about why I use the Myers Briggs Personality Types and the Enneagram in my analysis of Temari. I really don’t usually tend to care for the function of neither of those test in real life (if you do I am perfectly fine with it, it’s just something I don’t do myself) but I think they can be great tools for any author to understand better the behavior, desires and motivations behind their characters. I personally do this in my work and I highly recommend it for any other writer out there. 

Remember, this is my own personal analysis and I’ll tell you when my opinion differs from the majority, I’ll justify everything said in my analysis, and I’ll leave links to every info that I give you. 

Well, speaking specifically about Temari. Who is she? What she wants? Why she wants it? What she’ll do to achieve it? What she really needs? Which is her fear?

This between others are questions that any author or actor has to ask themselves when they are writing their characters. It’s a question of giving the character depth, making it seem “like a living breathing human-being.” 

Kishimoto state it in the most bluntly, yet efficient ways, when he presented Team Seven by making Kakashi ask them about their likes, dislikes and dreams. Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke’s response reflect all this questions even though they are not saying it directly. I won’t analyse this respective scene, because if not this will be really long, but I promise to do it sometime in the future. 

Well using the Myers Briggs Personality and Enneagram Test we can get to full-picture of these questions. Myers Briggs Personality test will tell us who the character is in it’s core; how they’ll behave, how they’ll face a situation and their outllook of life. The Enneagram on the other side show us their wants and needs, what they long to archieve and their fears. 

In the case of Temari I would classify her as an ENTJ but,her most common classification is ESTJ and a 8w9 as her Enneagram. If you want me to explain why I think she is an ENTJ an not a ESTJ (thoiugh I’ll construct my case over ESTJ) just ask for it cause I’ll be more than happy to do it. But for now, and in order not to make it way longer than it will already be I’ll focus on Te (Extraverted Thinking) and Fi (Introverted Feelings) both functions that both types share as their primary and inferior function respectively and will be key for my analysis.

Source Temari’s Personal Database

(If you want to understand the differences between ESTJs and ENTJs here is a good tumblr source that explains everything quite complete yet quite simply explained)

Let’s go first with the MBTI (Myers Briggs Type Indicator)

What means to have Te as a primary function and Fi as in inferior function?

Te as a Primary Function (Extroverted Thinking): Think of your primary function as your strongest suit, things you are good at. Dominant Extroverted Thinkers tend to be logical, objective and fair. They are very organized and try to arrange the real world to suit their needs. 

Strives to bring order, control, and rationality to the systems and operations of the outside world.Evidence: Temari is able to rationalize situations and access their pros and cons quite easily. This is showing in the flashback where she doubts of the productivity of the Konoha Crush since she maintained that there alliance with Konoha was much more valuable any they could gain from the attack. 

Insists on objective standards and measurable goals. Evidence: She is prone to be involved in and thinks in things as if they were projects like the preparations of the Chunin Exam, the Allied Shinobi Forces, etc. (see the image of the Fourth Databook)

Tendency to quickly express their judgments and opinion, to literally think (i.e., make judgments, conclusions, and decisions) aloud. Evidence: In her match against Shikamaru she was pretty quick in express her analysis of his movements aloud. 

Speak before they listen which can either make them strong and courageous leaders or seem abrasive, dogmatic, or controlling. Evidence: Temari asserted a leadership position within her village and also within the Allied Shinobi forces (despite not being strictly one) showing us her natural inclination to take charge. 

Source of the Image

Prone to overstating things. Evidence: In her fight against Shikamaru thinking she knew all the extent of his technique. 

They may say things that, in retrospect, they wish they could rescind, or at least soften (specially true for hypersensitive Fi), which can lead them to respond defensively or re-actively. Evidence: Sasuke Retrieval Arc, Temari’s expression as Shikaku reprimanded his son. Konoha Hiden, Temari feels ashamed about what happened the 

Fi as a Inferior Funtion (Introverted Feeling): Inferior Function is that thing that we often push aside the most and find most difficult to fully grasp. However, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t play a key role in our behavior. People with Fi are driven by an internal moral compass, helping them adjust their actions in order that what they are doing helps or affects people in a meaningful way. This gives them a sense of loyalty to those around them, considering the wants and needs of those close to them.    

Loyalty and dutiful nature due to a well constructed inner moral compass. Evidence: Fierce sense of loyalty to her village and her moral and ethical duty towards it.

Not prone to display emotions, may see them as a weakness.Evidence: The famous, “Had you received emotional training?” after the failed mission against Sasuke.

If taken to their worst they can have an all-or-nothing nature, this is neutralized when more “healthy” and less hypersensitive their Fi is. Evidence: Her whole fight against Tenten. She should to be someone strong, determined, disciplined with a strong chracter that will never let anyone mock her.

Image Source

Strong sense of inner control reached by vigorously working to control the outside world. The only way they can feel in control of themselves is by taking control of their surroundings. Evidence: How she managed to control the situation when Shikamaru was trying to ask her out on a date, her reasoning during their Chuinin Exams fight. 

Fi might also inspire them to take up causes that have personally affected them, ingrained on a deep fear of being a bad person or having corrupted moral. Evidence: Given her participation in the Konoha Crush Temari is one of the main actors to amend the relationship between Konoha and Suna in the time skip. Also she wants to archive a peace she never had due to her childhood as a Gaara’s sister and Rasa’s daughter, shown in her important participation in the Shinobi Alliance. Her deep care for both of her brothers given their mother’s death and she taking a position of caretaker within the family on an unconscious level. 

Unconscious yet particular empathy and concern for children, often finding great fulfillment in having and caring for children. Evidence: In Part I, after the Sasuke Retrieval Arc, The Sand Siblings stay in Konoha to help at the Academy. Temari reveals to Shikamaru that she had done it because she was fond of it. Children seem to really respect and admire her. 

Source MBTI 

Enneagram: 8w9 (The Diplomat)

Basic Fear

Eights with a nine wing fear being hurt by others. They avoid situations in which they have less control, generally preferring to be in positions of leadership.

Basic Desire

Their basic desire is to guard themselves against threats and control their own destiny. They may express this by asserting independence at a young age.

Hence Diplomats (8w9) defend themselves by building emotional walls and denying vulnerability. They seek to appear strong, subconsciously believing that being too emotional will make them seem weak (Haven’t you received emotional training?). They,

Dislike taking orders from other people

Though they are certainly not the most chill of all types the most calm and laid-back of the eights. 

Struggle to openly share emotions

Fear being controlled by others

Seek autonomy and independence. 

At their best diplomats use their wit and ability to see different perspectives to face different projects. Their naturally energetic and confident persona make of them people that can lead others effectively, through support and guidance. They have a talent to give others what they need, and are empowering and advocating for others. They feel a need to protect the ones they love and enjoy their-selves the most when they are surrounded by these people. 

Image Source

At their worst diplomats, given their struggle to control their temper and their tendencies to be stubborn or rigid can enter excessively in conflict or disagreement or directly reject and dismiss others. They struggle to face emotionally vulnerable situations due to their sense of lack of inner control with can make them seems overly confident or emotionally detached. They also can develop a dislike for rules from authority figures. 

Image Source

The best way to communicate with a 8w9 is to be direct and straightforward, while encouraging them to share their ideas. If conflict arises it’s better to address conflict directly and logically; discuss and work together toward the best solution.

Source of Enneagram 8w9 

Conclusion

For that we have seen through this analysis some key things about Temari. 

She is quite a direct and logical and rational individual who values to get things done in the outside world. 

She has leadership skills, given their courageous and confident attitude, but can also come up a abrasive or controlling. 

Tend to overstate things and may say or do things that they, later on, wish they could soften. 

Is incredibly loyal to her set of values and those around her and tends to involve personally with the things she works on. 

She tends to want to have a control of the outside world and her worst fear is to loose it, cause is in the only way she can feel in control of herself. 

She wants independence cause that is the way she can feel in control of herself. Therefore she tends to leave emotions on one side, they are less controllable cause they are in her inner world, and focus her energies on the outside (rational) world.  

2.  Shikamaru and Konoha Hiden: The Beginning of Everything.  

I can begin to trace the disservice towards Temari in this point in time, in the anime’s adaptation of her character from the light novels. From here we can begin to see how they are starting to tweak Temari’s character (in a way that’s unfair and clearly not coherent) to fit her into the mold of the angry or crazy girlfriend/wife though with moderation. 

Why? Why, do you have to adapt an moment like this...

Clutching his back, Shikamaru turned his eyes toward the voice.

A woman with a sharp gaze and golden hair tied into two bundles stood there, holding a giant fan in both hands. And that fan had no doubt created the wind that had knocked Shikamaru flying.

Temari...

"So you're just gonna skip out?! You're gonna do whatever he tells you to? That's not like you at all! I expect a lot more from you! Get it together, you idiot! I mean, I know you actually think this guy's boring! His stupid lecture's total  garbage! Am I right? Say something! Shikamaru!"

His ears, now accustomed to Gengo's weighty tone, took in the screeching, loud voice, and his eyes flickered with pain. "Ah!"

The haze blanketing his head vanished cleanly and completely. The thing squeezing his heart was gone; it was as if a hole had popped open in his chest. 

But it felt amazingly good. He inhaled deeply, down to the bottom of his stomach, and slowly let it out. A laugh naturally followed.

A single blow to pull him out of the genjutsu...

"So you show up out of nowhere to badmouth me?" He put a hand on the back of his head, eyes fixed on Temari as he stood up.

"I came to save you. Quit grumbling and thank me." She rammed the end of the folding fan into the ground, rested her right elbow on the pivot, and puffed her chest out. Behind her stood a line of ninja. They all had the mark of Sunagakure carved into their forehead protectors. 

"I can't exactly go letting you die now, can I?" She grinned.

Her smile, glittering like the fire of the desert sun, cleared Shikamaru's heart. Her earlier words came back to life in his head.

Source: Naruto: Shikamaru Hiden - A Cloud Drifting in Silent Darknes (2015) by Masashi Kishimoto, Takashi Yano 

as this?

I know this may be completely unpopular but, hey I am here to say what I think. You can always count that’ll be honest. And I don’t like this. 

This in my opinion this is not female empowerment, this is not funny and this is not Temari reacting naturally to the situation she is involved in. Is just simply her hitting Shikamaru with no reason at all. 

In the novel, as we have seen, Temari lectured him (oh, boy did she lectured him just rightly). She basically made her come into his senses using logic and reason, using words, the same through which Gengo almost defeat him. And that is Temari, she may not be the best at expressing her emotions but when conflict arises she address conflict directly and logically. She explains, in a way that yes may seem imposing for others, but that always uses Te (extroverted thinking) as her main weapon. 

Temari would never make someone come to his senses by a love declaration but she wouldn’t slap him on his face either. 

Temari does this because, although Shikamaru hurt her, Shikamaru is someone dear to her and she knows that he needs of a little bit of tough love in order to function. This is Temari’s way of being empowering and advocating for others.

And you may be asking. But hey, Temari had already slapped Shikamaru before and you didn’t say nothing about that moment? Yes she did, but that moment was intrinsically different to this second one. 

This slap...

It’s justified in Temari’s character. Maybe it’s not the best thing she could do, nor what I pictured her to do, but is not that detached with the situation. 

Let’s see another extract of the Light Novel to understand better the context:

"Oil" A voice called to Shikamaru from behind.

He clicked his tongue imperceptibly. The voice belonged to the person he least wanted to speak with at that moment. Ignoring it, he kept moving forward.

"Shikamaru, hold up!" The voice beat at his back, threatening to send him flying.

"What?" He turned just his head to look at the woman over his shoulder.

Temari from Sunagakure. Her hair was shorter now than it had been two years ago, and she had pulled it back into two bundles on either side of her head. Her eyes were gentler now than they had been, set in a fairly adult looking face. But given that she was older than Shikamaru, her face didn't just look grown-up; she was actually already a very fine adult.

"What's going on with you?" She stared at Shikamaru with eyes that drooped somewhat more than they used to. 

"What do you mean?"

"You've been weird lately." Temari's slender hand reached out to Shikamaru's shoulder and pulled him around to face her.

What a drag... The words made it all the way to his throat before he managed to desperately swallow them back down.

"I mean your attitude at the meeting there. You just sit there with your mouth shut. Everyone gets nervous; the whole place tenses up, you know."

"It does?"

"You didn't notice it?" Temari's eyes grew wide. "What happened?"

"Nothing."

"It's something you can't talk to me about?" Temari's hard gaze hurt.

In the two years since the Great War ended, Temari had been a good and understanding partner in their work on the alliance. She shared his desire to keep the shinobi from fracturing into factions once more after they had finally come together in the face of a powerful enemy. She had rallied the Allied Forces with him. The strong bond between Naruto, seen as a candidate for the next Hokage of Konoha, and Gaara, the Kazekage of Sunagakure, also played a part; the relationship between the two villages was extremely good, even among the five great nations. With these kinds of outside factors also at work, Shikamaru and Temari each recognized the other as their greatest ally in the alliance.

"Something's happening in Konoha." She had fairly good insight.

However, her shot was a little off. Nothing was happening in Konoha, although it was true that they were trying to take care of the situation with only the shinobi of Konoha. So Temari was half-right, half-wrong.

The basic policy of the alliance was that matters relating to the life or death of shinobi themselves exceeded the framework of the villages and should be shared with the entire group. What Shikamaru and Kakashi were attempting to do was in very clear violation of this policy. Even so, he couldn't say anything. Getting the alliance involved now and stirring up trouble with the Land of Silence was not a good plan.

I'll handle it... His resolve hardened.

"Is there anything I can do?"

"There's not."

Temari dropped her eyes at Shikamaru's curt reply. "Okay," she muttered, lifelessly. In the next instant, the brief look of sadness on her face changed to anger.

It was all he could do to take a breath. He had no room to dodge; before he knew it, Shikamaru was flying. He tumbled down the hall a few times before ending up on his backside in a seated position. The right side of his face swelled up, bright red. Stroking his hot cheek, Shikamaru looked up at an indignant Temari glaring down at him.

"I never actually thought I could've misjudged you so badly!" Her angry yell turned into a powerful wind, pushing up against his face.

"I-I'm sorry..." The words were unconscious. He unthinkingly took on the persona of his father stumbling home in the morning, only to get yelled at by his mother in the entryway.

Taking long strides, Temari passed by Shikamaru and disappeared, her eyes slightly damp.

Source: Naruto: Shikamaru Hiden - A Cloud Drifting in Silent Darknes (2015) by Masashi Kishimoto, Takashi Yano

We see a Temari that is continuously trying to reach someone who she had become closed to and with whom she had worked side by side since the war ended two years ago. Someone who she thought trusted her. The slap is given her sadness with ended up being represented in anger (inferior Fi). She had a real reason to be sad: Temari isn’t someone who lightly trust or cares about someone and Shikamaru was just closing the door to her. Saying that he didn’t need her. And there’s nothing that Temari wants more than feeling need, something that is evidence in her Tsukuyomi Dream, which may not be canon, but yet captured Temari’s character. 

Not only that but, as we said, Temari’s basic fear was to be hurt by others. That’s why she usually has that overly confident and seemingly emotionally detached attitude. And once she left her guard down she was hurt by non other than a person she hold dear, which we have seen ain’t an easy point to reach with someone with Temari’s personality. Given her “all or nothing” outlook this might be a really bad wound for her, like if he was back-stabbing her. 

That’s why "I never actually thought I could've misjudged you so badly!" and Temari’s cry really is so important. It shows she’s truly hurt. It justifies her punch, no. But it explains it. (I won’t lie, I also wanted give Shikamaru a good punch when I read this)

Also this moment wasn’t exactly the best adapted sequence but it’s much better than the previous one and with the right context it all comes quite justified. 

You could also say that there was also that one time were Temari hits Shikamaru with her fan after she realizes in the Konoha Hiden that Shikamaru and her were actually searching for a wedding gift for Naruto and Hinata, 

“Hmm, so that’s what it all was....” She said, smiling peacefully.

“No, hold on ...Ah!!” Shikamaru inadvertently let out an exclamation.

It was possible that Temari’s misunderstanding had been- “Hey, oi ...You couldn’t have thought that, right.”

When he said that, for some reason, Temari silently took her tessen off her back, holding it in her hand.

“H-hey...what is it?” He asked. “Why’re you suddenly taking that out...? Wh- what’s up with your chakra...?!”

Temari grinned affectionately at him.

Shikamaru was captivated by the sight, and found a smile forming on his face, too.

Smiling at each other like that, they looked like the very picture of an intimate pair of lovers.

That night in Konoha...

One sudden, out-of-season gale swept over Konoha’s hot springs, and lasted the entirety of the night. The residents and tourists spent the whole night awake, too frightened to sleep...

Source: Konoha Hiden: The Perfect Day for a Wedding (2015) by Masashi Kishimoto and Shō Hinata

And I agree I am not saying this is fine either (though there isn’t that much of an explicit but an implicit hit), but is also something Temari shows to be sorry and ashamed about later in the story. Even though she is prideful and won’t be able to admit it she finally does. Because at the end of the day Temari is a lover and fighter but, even though she won’t admit it, will love rather than fight. 

Besides the context in here is different. They had already went on a date and could almost be consider a couple. I had already posted a quote were Ino and Sakura talked about Shikamaru and Temari’s relationship. It was obvious there was something going on for months (If you want to get to know better you can see the time line). It wasn’t that far-fetched to understand the situation as Temari, someone who’s pretty direct, was interpreting them. 

It’s something through which they both learn and grew together. Shikamaru will never be as frontal as she might want to but he is willing to give it a try for her and she is willing to try to understand what is going in his mind. 

Also I think that this novels suffered of having different writers so it sometimes feels as the story unnecessarily regresses. Kishimoto only illustrates the stories and this becomes pretty showing. However and despite I don’t enjoy Temari hitting Shikamaru, the novels itself aren’t that detached from Temari’s character. The soul of her character is still there.

But are these slight changes in the anime showed us the way that they were trying to head Temari’s character in Boruto, changes that as we had seen during her analysis don’t seem to fit rightly her character. Specially in Perriots adaptation of the manga we see a deep misunderstanding of Temari, from her behaviour to her wants and feelings. Unluckily, the worst was yet to come. 

3. Boruto: Why did they did this? 

Well, here is what triggered this whole post. Temari’s portrayal in Boruto. And I got to say one thing before starting with this analysis. I really like some scenes of Temari in Boruto. 

To see her in action, training with the new generation of the Ino-Shika-Cho and protecting her son were fairly enjoyable but, more importantly, are congruent with her character. It’s her more domestic scenes which I tend to dislike a lot.

I consider than in this scenes they depict Temari as an angry housewife and an aggressive mother which, in my opinion, are the greatest disservice to Temari’s character. Maybe I am the only one that thinks this, but (as I said previously) I don’t find them funny nor that they depict Temari correctly, serve a motif in the narrative or serve any agenda. They are simply treated as comic relief. 

This is truly hurting for someone that is not only a Temari fan but a ShikaTema shipper since they transformed a relationship that was based on mutual trust, respect and communication above anything else into this dynamic we see in Boruto. 

And I have to hypothesize why they made Temari do this I would have two main factors: 

Lazy Writing and Appeal to Nostalgia: All Nara men marry to troublesome woman so they found in this moments a cheep way to remind the audience constantly that Temari is troublesome and therefore be able to make easy correlations to Shikaku’s relationship with Yoshino. 

The Tsundere Trend: Maybe this is me overthinking a little bit too much (but when I don’t)  but the Tsundere one of the most capitalized dere types in anime. People seem to love them in a way I don’t fully understand. Having a woman inflict danger to his partner is the most easy way to scream “tsundere” maybe not the best but an easy one. Mind that when we speak about a tsundere I mean: 

A stock love interest who is usually stern, cold or hostile to the person they like, while occasionally letting slip the warm and loving feelings hidden inside due to being shy, nervous, insecure or simply unable to help acting badly in front of the person they like.

The Japanese term tsundere refers to an outwardly violent character who "runs hot and cold", alternating between two distinct moods: tsuntsun (aloof or irritable) and deredere (lovestruck).

Tsundere Source

Funny enough I never saw Temari as a Tsundere. I would never say, from the manga, that Temari ‘runs hot and cold.’ Yes, you don’t want to mess up with her when she is angry but it’s not like this happen often in the manga. 

The only time I consider we have seen Temari go angry pretty quickly (in Naruto) was in her match with Shikamaru when he said that he wouldn’t be defeated by a woman. But I think we can’t apply one situation to larger and broader spectrum. That was in the middle of a fight and, as I explained in a previous post of mine,  there were much more other things involved in the context of the manga/anime at that point in time. 

I have always consider Temari someone who was deep in control of herself and her emotions, capable of displaying what she wants to show when she wants. This is because of her own basic fear of being hurt, hence she only shows this emotions when she is either, truly hurt, angry or when she trust enough the other person. 

That’s why is so important that the only times we have seen Temari fully displaying this emotions were around Shikamaru or her brothers. 

I don’t like that much dere types but, if I had to chose one, her sarcastic humor and realistic outlook of life, always seemed more alike to the profile of a hinedere

The hinedere is a sarcastic, cynical person who always looks to the darker, more realistic side of things and is very quick to reveal that to other characters. They tend to be arrogant and cold-hearted however, the hinedere will have a soft spot for their love interest and will reluctantly but reliably do anything for them.

Hinedere Source 

This dere type may not be as popular but, I think, fits much more her personality all through Naruto. However, that’s a personal opinion and no falling into a dere type should, if it’s understood correctly, disrupt the core character. 

Okay so, they wanted to make Temari fall into this direction but... Why isn’t this her? Well that’s the following point. 

4. Why this isn’t Temari?

Temari at the beginning of Naruto is someone that thinks that life is like in the dessert: everything is though and hard and only the fittest are meant to survive. Anything or anyone that shows her weakness is naturally inferior or undesirable. That is her outlook of life: you have to be pragmatic, logic and strong if you want to continue fighting another day. The weak are naturally destined to loose, and hence she doesn’t care to be the one to destroy them since it’s only when you impose fear that you’ll be actually able to survive. 

That ideology, she had learn all through her childhood, translates in her battle against Tenten and began to be challenged in her battle against Shikamaru. At the end we see a Temari that, despite being born to fight, develops as a character chooses to dedicate her life to the search of peace in order to protect those weaker ones that she once loathed. That’s why she is an incredible ambassador for Suna and good adviser of Gaara: she yet has that pragmatic, logical and sometimes cynical point of view but that contrast with the idealism of her brother and helps them to balance each other out. She is highly loyal and I am sure she’ll do anything for her family and to protect that peace she found in it. 

Hence, I always find it pretty hard to believe that Temari would rather take her fan and hit someone before having a reasonable, direct and straightforward conversation. 

Even, before her evolution, we see that Temari is much less willing to enter a unreasonable and violent dispute than her brothers and that is what, in the first instances sets her apart from them. 

When Temari first hits the scene just before the start of the Chunin Exams, by mere virtue of the fact that the group that she’s with is intimidating, she becomes a bit scary herself, but she shows to be different than both of them. 

Kankuro comes off as the tough, scary guy who you don’t want to mess with only to be swiftly upstaged by the seriously blood-chilling Gaara.

(Sorry for the image in spanish but basically Temari is telling Kankuro to leave Konohamaru alone and to not involve her in his actions) 

Temari, on the other hand, stands by coolly, occasionally offering her brothers warnings or plays referee. Her sit-back-and-bide-her-time attitude makes her look like the most stable of the three in comparison; Kankuro picks a pointless fight with a kid and Gaara ends up looking psychopathic. 

Temari’s rational and cool behavior also pays testament to what readers later see are some of her major strengths which keeps repeating itself through the manga, in the Forest of Death during The Chunin Exams and in The Five Kages’s Summit it was Temari who during tense times was able to cool them up. 

(Temari asking Gaara to calm down during the second stage of the Chunin Exams)

However, I got to admit that Temari isn’t a saint. She has a sharp tongue and she is straight foward and direct what, as we said before may lead to her to say things that, in retrospect, they wish they could rescind, or at least soften, which can lead them to respond defensively or re-actively. 

Things like this we see them while she looks at Shikamaru after the failure of Sasuke’s Rescue Mission. Even when she had lectured Shikamaru she then looked at him as if she questioned if she had been to harsh on him. It was clear that she had misjudge him as she realized how much she cared for his friends. Or in the Konoha Hiden as, after having that little incident with Shikamaru she is nervous to see him again. 

Images Sources (Manga in Spanish)

That’s why I can’t imagine Temari simply hitting someone just for kicks. Is not like she can’t but that she doesn’t want or sees the appeal to do it. 

The is in a lot of senses the perfect kunoichi, disciplined, determined, strong and intelligent and will never let anyone mock her (that’s for sure). She is ruthless towards her opponents cause that is her way of approaching a rival but she will never be violent for violence’s sake. 

It’s not like we just attacked the Leaf Village for kicks, you know? We were following orders. That’s all, just like we’re doing on this mission.

Temari to Shikamaru during the Sasuke’s Retrieval Arc

But even less than this I imagine being violent towards people she appreciates and cares as Shikamaru and Shikadai. Yes, I think she would most likely express herself through some tough love, being strict with Shikadai and not letting Shikamaru just slack and complain about everything. But, never, ever, I imagined her being physically or verbally violent towards them without feeling any remorse. Cause she never was in Naruto. 

She was direct and honest, maybe a bit to much for people, but after her the Chunin Exams her character never showed to be like that to anyone. Even less towards Shikamaru.

You have the “crybaby” thing going on but I would rather think that of a positive rather than a negative aspect because of the way in which she says it. It shows their connection as individuals which is full of bickering and this back and forth of clever commentaries but that is build on common ground. You may not be the people that like these but that doesn’t mean that Shikamaru feel the same as you. 

If not he would never have this expression on this face...

Source Image

Temari is the one that trusted fully in him during war even to the point of considering him capable of being Hokage because “he has the power to reach/.sway away people’s hearts” and she wants to create a world of peace with him. Their relationship was about bringing out the best of each other not the worst, which doesn’t mean they don’t function like fully capable individuals without the other (cause they do) but that through their interactions they developed into better people. We are after all, social creatures and we need of others and the Sand Siblings are exemplary that that doesn’t make you weak but stronger. That you can change your preconceived notions of the world and learn from others, change for the better and use that strength protect instead to attack or seclude yourself. 

So why, if Temari was capable to reach a point where she was at her best, letting her fear to be hurt to fall, and use her naturally energetic and confident persona to lead others effectively, through support and guidance, Boruto writers tend to write her in her moments with Shikamaru at what would be her worst, struggling to control her temper and with her stubbornness and rigidness making her excessively enter in conflict or disagreement or directly reject and dismiss others?

This is a complete character regression for Temari. And I don’t mean that characters can’t have their moments, nor that Temari should be perfect, when they are at that stage. But that should be addressed in that manner and not as comic relief. 

In my opinion Temari had always a  talent to give Shikamaru what he needed, giving him some tough love when he needed but at the same time being empowering. 

"So you're just gonna skip out?! You're gonna do whatever he tells you to? That's not like you at all! I expect a lot more from you! Get it together, you idiot! I mean, I know you actually think this guy's boring! His stupid lecture's total  garbage! Am I right? Say something! Shikamaru!"

Source: Naruto: Shikamaru Hiden - A Cloud Drifting in Silent Darkness (2015) by Masashi Kishimoto, Takashi Yano

That’s why, with the clear feel and need to protect and be appreciated by the ones they love and enjoying herself the most when they are surrounded by them, I can’t really see Temari acting like this. 

5. PS: I still love you

This turned out to be really long so I won’t pull it any further. Just let me say this last words. 

I really like Temari, I really do, and in part a lot of my dislike of her portrayal in Boruto comes from that same factor. I truly think she is an amazing kunoichi and someone girls could look up to when watching Naruto, cause yes she had flaws, but this were addressed as such and were never used as comic relief. Besides, her good qualities and strengths quickly unnumbered her flaws: she was intelligent, strong, honest, disciplined, determined, dutiful, loyal and caring. Yes she might be prideful, overly confident, way to upfront and may not like to show that much her emotions but I don’t consider that this flaws could beat her logical and rational mindset that first matched her with characters like Shikamaru. 

Truly I think these scenes are a disservice towards my favorite female character of this whole manga and anime to the extent that if there was one thing I could change about the whole series would be this.

Temari wasn’t that much in the manga or in the anime but she was capable of leaving a palpable impression in me (to the extent that I wrote a +6.6k word essay about her, counting quotes and all) as well as in lots of other people. And that should tell you a lot about her as a character, a character that yes; could have been even better in terms of story and narrative than she was in the Naruto but that also certainly is much better than how they portray her in Boruto. 

[independentartistbuzz]

7 FROM THE WOMEN: RED FLOWER LAKE

Red Flower Lake is lush, heady electro-pop. Aloe vera for our dried-out hearts. Sweeping melodies and understated yet complex soundscapes. These songs are open doors to a relationship: two people who know each other about as well as two humans can, singing to the other, about each other, offering a brave and heartfelt depiction of the territories they have survived and navigated together. It’s all here: intimacy and distance, heartbreak and ecstasy. Vulnerability, insecurity and courage.

1. What have you been working to promote lately?

It feels like I have been working on promoting a lot lately (internally and externally). Things like honesty, clear communication, empathy, patience, naming emotions, opening my heart, peace in my family, etc, etc.

But that’s not quite what we are talking about. ;)

I have been working alongside my husband to promote our EP Three Truths as well as an exhibit of our multi-media work at the Torosiete museum of contemporary art - a virtual museum unlike any other. Our exhibit just opened at the end of October and will be open for all of time - as long as there is internet.

Our EP Three Truths consists of three songs, Heart is Breaking, Baby Don’t Go, and Brave. The first two were written when we had super young kids (about 8 years ago).

When we were first considering releasing some songs this past May, we weren’t sure which songs to begin with. We were pretty tired of Heart is Breaking and Baby Don’t Go but also felt like they were worth something, belonged together, and like they might be the beginning of a story. We figured we would see what mixing one of them would do and take it from there. We sent out Baby Don’t Go and after trying a couple different mixers, we landed on Mike Pepe through a family friend named Kelly Musgrave at Linear Management. He did his thing and we actually got inspired enough to completely redo the vocals which was pretty satisfying. I had started voice lessons several months earlier and felt like I had more to offer the song. Once the energy was back in Baby Don’t Go it was pretty exciting to see what some mixing would do to Heart is Breaking. Deciding to release those particular songs really felt like the end of a pretty challenging time. It has been nice to have them out in the world where people might be able to relate to them giving voice to an experience that is painful but also real. I don’t know how many emotions we get away with leaving unturned but I appreciate a song that can help me reflect on a feeling.

Heart is Breaking was the kind of song that was so of a moment, it didn’t feel worth it to try and enunciate the words better or change what I was unsatisfied with after hearing it mixed. I am curious whether that choice will actually impact my satisfaction long term but, so far, I have found it both surprising and amusing that putting something out into the world that is a little bit vocally unfinished doesn’t bother me at all.

As for Abel’s vocals though, they are straight from the heart. They are also his original vocals. I remember when I first heard them I felt a lot less significant as part of our musical duo. He just put it all out there and it sounds so good. Heart is Breaking speaks to the experience of wanting love even though it seems to always end in heart break. An experience that, as a young parent, felt very prevalent.

Brave to me is all in the title. My setup is such that if I want to play around on the keyboard with a feeling I’m having, I still need to pull up ProTools and title the session - even though I don’t know what I am going to play which is the case a lot. Often when I am sitting down to play music, it is to explore something in my mind and on my heart and in this case I wanted to be brave about that exploration so I titled the song Brave. Brave is about sticking around and being present to see what is true even if it is scary.

All of the songs I write are deeply personal. In the past, it has sometimes surprised me that Abel would even touch the material, considering how blatant it is but I’ve learned that I’m not the only one in the relationship that sometimes feels paradoxical and complex feelings.

Having made music together for such a long time now without releasing any of it, we are both really excited to share more of the story and more of our music. It feels like an epic tale that is still revealing itself in real time. Three Truths feels like the beginning of a bigger message - this first message being “Damn this is hard but relationship is sort of like that sometimes”.

2. Please tell us about your favorite song written, recorded or produced by another woman and why it’s meaningful to you.

Sade’s Smooth Operator. There are a lot of songs and a lot of reasons why to pick them but this one pulls me right back to a time in my life when not a lot of things were easy but at that moment, the house was warm, the whole family seemed happy and there was an abundance of food. I was maybe 5, my family was living with my great aunt and her daughters who were at least ten years older than us. We were all still getting used to living together and my family was still getting used to living in Va after moving from New Mexico. When Smooth Operator came into my awareness, it was the day after Thanksgiving and there was a bounty of leftover mashed potatoes, peas and onions in cream sauce, and stuffing that needed to be eaten. While we formed those leftovers into little balls and baked them, we were introduced to that song. I think we may have listened to the whole album a couple times through but we named our food creation after Smooth Operator and it is one of the special happy memories I have from an amazing but also pretty heavy childhood. Throughout my childhood from then on, Sade was a voice I leaned into. I remember one night my twin sister and I lay down in the dark of her empty room in middle school and listened in consecutive order through Diamond Life, Promise, Stronger Than Pride, and Love Deluxe on our tape player to the light of a big moon. One of my all time favorite nights.

Smooth Operator felt like a warning. Like watch out girls, they’re everywhere. The first song of their first album. Her voice was always my reference. I wanted my voice to sound like hers. I wanted to make songs like hers - with a point, with heart, and with a voice you want to listen to. Smooth Operator is our family anthem, made so by a moment we all recall fondly - an odd anthem perhaps but my family is as odd and as amazing as they get.

3. What does it mean to you to be a woman making music / in the music business today and do you feel a responsibility to other women to create messages and themes in your music?

Having an opportunity to use my voice as a woman at this time feels very special and important and I hope that I am doing my part in honoring the power of the feminine, and the important work of keeping it real in all my relationships at all levels.

I work to be authentic and express as clearly from my heart as I can. Making music - making art,  is a way for me to connect with my emotions, my inner wisdom, a way to express those feelings, ultimately it is a way to communicate something that means something to me. I recognize that this is a potentially self indulgent process and I pray that my purpose of honoring the human experience and reminding us of our power is conveying.

It is important for me to be super honest because there are so many feelings I have felt ashamed of and wouldn’t even admit to in the past that I am now realizing are actually just part of a human experience. Honoring and expressing my truth thus far has been a thousand times more empowering than the results have been of hiding from my truth as a result of believing I should be ashamed of my feelings and for believing in my worth - what I know is true in my heart. Denial of my truth has wreaked havoc in my life and it isn’t worth another moment of time to feed or encourage such disempowering paradigms.

I recognize that we all have a lot to heal from and a lot of healing work to do individually and collectively. I think a large part of that healing work is around being brave enough to honor our feelings, identifying their source, and getting empowered to speak/know/honor our truth - a truth that is both unique and valid.

Perhaps if we are able to honor ourselves in this way, we will be able to hear each others’ truths with compassion, recognizing ourselves in each other's struggles.

A big step for me in my healing journey has been accepting and being willing to hear and honor my own truth. No more wars - internal or external. When I am not fighting myself, I am one less person who is fighting themselves and that is extremely motivating. I think all of my fighting ultimately comes from internal conflicts so I might as well start with that and find some way to work that stuff out. I have been working on not making other people the bad guy but, if I see ‘bad guy’ out there in the world, to note that I see a reflection of parts of myself I still am in a healing process with.  

I am not sure what the depths of our world’s healing will entail but I know my responsibility is to my own healing and it is empowering to own that responsibility. I pray we all honor ourselves like the magnificent and unique creations we are and honor ourselves like we are somebody’s child who adores us. Even if we can argue that our parents did not or do not love us, there is still and always will be immense love for each of us in the vast universe and from our mama earth. We are worthy of our best life. In fact. I think it is the only sustainable future.

My responsibility is to honor and stay true to my truth.

4. What is the most personal thing you have shared in your music or in your artist brand as it relates to being female?

All of the songs I write are extremely personal and expose my deep internal struggles. But I am okay with being a voice and a sound. Being an image has not been easy. Learning to embrace my face, my body, my movement, my inner style, etc, feels much more exposing and personally challenging. The entire world of what is sexy, what is beautiful, what is inspiring, what is useful, etc. has been out of reach for me since forever. I find that the more I turn toward my spiritual truth, my spiritual purpose, toward awe and gratitude for the children in my life, the more permission I have and the more energy I have for exposing my physical person on a true and personal level. What feels beautiful, what feels empowering, what feels good and right?

I have in the past, been absolutely disempowered around beauty and sex that I feel like only now am I getting access to any answers internally about what is beautiful, empowering and what feels good for me. I am a mother and it is important to me that the children in my life have examples of real women and men in their lives who are empowered and strong and honest- not because of our physical form but because of our clarity in purpose and our open hearts.

I know the sexiest thing a person can do in my heart/ mind is their inner work, get straight with themselves about what they are doing here and live and breathe their purpose.

On the level of the eye, I think playing with what my spiritual guides have to say to me at any given moment feels the most appropriate and fun. I’d rather be in a conversation with them about physical expression than with old paradigms of sex appeal and survival on this physical plain.

5. What female artists have inspired you and influenced you?

Oh my goodness, So many. I really believe that the unapologetic art of all women throughout time has molded me as part of the collective creative conscience. Art begets art.

I come from a family of bohemian artists and I would be remiss in not honoring them particularly and their absolute influence in my life. Their authentic expressions have absolutely shaped and inspired me and I am so grateful to each of my family members for their conscious participation in living their best lives.

My highschool teacher and friend Zap McConnel reinforced and added to what my family already inspires in me. She was my first real mentor and example outside of my family in living a life of integrity and breaking the molds of our boxed beliefs.  

And Beatrice Ost. She has been part of my family for a long time but it really wasn’t until her grandchildren connected with our kids that we became better acquainted and, just as kids tend to do, through our children we have been led into a most beautiful and inspiring relationship of collaboration and inspiration. We wouldn’t be where we are now without her and really everyone in the world. The ripples are real.

6. Do you consider yourself a feminist? If so why and if not why?

I consider myself a feminist because I believe in the unique and essential wisdom of the feminine and its absolute importance in the balance of life. I could also consider myself a divine masculinist but that movement is really in conjunction with the healing of the divine feminine. It is for all of us to heal from this woundedness - not just women.

There is no denying that women have been oppressed for millenia - longer than any other human group except children - and it feels important to me to keep raising the collective awareness to the long lasting effects of oppression that continue to weigh on the lives of everyone. If mama is oppressed, everyone is oppressed because if mama is oppressed she does not have the power she needs to stand up for what she knows in the depths of her heart - to care for the hearts of her family and that kind of pain and injury is passed down a long way.

I have been considering the narrative of our media history around witches - how they have been conveyed so terribly in our social history. I am interested in those stories from the witches’ perspectives. I’d love to hear the backstory of Ursula the deep sea witch in The Little Mermaid. It seems to me that she may have wanted to say something to someone… An easily identifiable sentiment for most human beings at this point. There can be no more pretending how much we have all suffered because of fear and domination. I don’t think we need to gender specify suffering generally but just like with race, it is true that there are some significant stereo types that have been disempowering for a long time.

We are still living in the antiquated world of shame about menstrual cycles for God’s sake! It’s bonkers. I can attest that this particular gift has felt like a burden in this worn out world of 9-5 schedules and limited sick days and - if any - and our basic needs for survival are not cared for enough so that we don't even know this immense gift as an honor. But as we each recognize our person as an immense gift and when we honor ourselves and each  other as such, we change the world.

I am a feminist and a masculinist because I strongly believe that each of us as individuals needs to feel empowered as part of something larger than just our individual egos. Each of us is essential and honoring our unique gifts will and does heal our world in deep and profound ways. Each of us knows something, has a purpose here that needs to be respected by everyone. Men and women both would benefit from honoring the feminine in all that is and vice versa. It is a balance and as long as the balance is off there will be a need for feminism. And just as much there is a need for honoring the divine masculine. It truly is a matter of balance - one that needs support internally and externally as individuals and as a collective.

7. What was the most challenging thing you have had to face as a female Artist?

The most challenging thing I have had to face as a creative being is myself. My own pride and jealousy, self doubt, and a need for external approval have kept me from taking risks, whether it is going into action or taking a nap. Everything I did or didn’t do was based on what I thought somebody else might think which gave me very little room for actual self expression. Giving myself permission to exist independently of other people’s approval and trusting the creative flow has been a matter of challenging oppressive systems - both external and the ones and the ones in my head that I have defended as part of a fear based world. As I continue to grow wiser and my body becomes more of an ally for my heart rather than a sculpture project, I find myself in battle with old paradigms around self image.

It is an interesting time to be alive and I have lots of hope for us as a collective as I continue to break my own belief systems because if I can do it, it can be done. Breaking out of old and limiting beliefs, considering new paradigms, recognizing my inner/outer calling and prioritizing that calling beyond all else has been liberating and empowering. My dream is that all our dreams come true. I know my heart is based in love and that all the struggle has been for learning. This knowledge has helped me come to terms with trauma but I would say I think oppression is systemic and the more we can break free of our own excuses and reasoning to defend oppressive systems, the more swiftly and easily we will transition to a new world. I am more than happy to be inviting in a paradigm of inclusivity, kindness, inquiry, compassion, and honesty. An undeniable breath of fresh air from so many oppressive paradigms past and present.

Listen to “Three Truths”

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[nunonabun]

I did love Trixie admitting she'd dated a gay man as cover once in that dismissive way she did. Because to her his sexuality didn't mean anything to her, but she didn't want him to be hurt. I know that episode had many other things to take out of it but that stood out to me, along with her saying that what would bother her wouldn't be her partners sexuality, but that they cheated. All that was important was their faithfulness.

This got quite long so I’ll put it under a cut.

This is a heck of an episode, and I think how everyone comes off in it is quite complex. There was a lot I liked about Trixie in that episode, especially her speaking up at the dinner table and saying “Well quite frankly I thought we’d fought a war over facism, and that’s what this is, telling people who they can and can’t love.” But there are also the ways in which she’s still viewing things from a heternormative POV and participating in the “othering” of gay people, as are pretty much all the straight characters in the episode (I am going with Trixie at least self-identifying as straight, in this analysis.)  

When she says she couldn’t forgive Tony Amos’s actions if she were in Marie Amos’ shoes “because [Tony] cheated, I couldn’t care less who with,” that equates him acting on his sexuality outside of his straight marriage, with a straight person in a straight marriage having an affair. It puts the blame for Tony’s affair fully on Tony as opposed to largely on the way heteronormativity and homophobia have forced him into that situation. It’s kind of like an “I don’t see colour,” but with sexuality; a disregard of how the oppression a person faces factors into their actions. That’s not to say it doesn’t truly harm his wife as well, and it’s absolutely fine to empathize with her, but to just say it’s cheating and he’s fully wrong for cheating misunderstands the situation. Phyllis does this too, when Sister Monica Joan says crime implies someone was harmed, and nobody was in that case, Phyllis says “try putting yourself in Mrs. Amos’s shoes,” as though that somehow justifies the punishment Tony is receiving even a bit. It’s a horribly difficult situation and of course it’s valid for someone Marie’s position to feel hurt and deceived, but it’s also important not to ignore how Tony entering that marriage and breaking his vows is not a malicious deception. It’s a situation where he is under immense pressure to conform to a social norm that he would be severely punished if he broke. He’s also very likely to have gotten the message implicitly and/or explicitly that getting married to a woman would “fix” him... and then finding out he can’t repress a natural and important part of himself.  

To the anecdote about the doctor she was a beard for again, it’s complicated. Trixie recounts: ”I certainly don’t mind fraulines. In fact, I provided diversionary cover for one during my training. Young doctor, melting to look at, but the other way inclined. Perfect gentleman, sadly. Without me on his arm, he would have lost his position.” One the one hand, she cared about him and helped him. On the other hand, the way she helped him was by providing the image that he did fit the norm. She helped dress up the closet door to make it look like he wasn’t in there. He probably wouldn’t have wanted her to do anything else. Society forced him into a position where, if he was out, he’d be out of a job. But it is still helping him to cover up and fit the norm as opposed to fighting the norm (Again, I know, he may not have wanted her to do that and certainly outing him to fight against it would likely have been hugely harmful, that’s not where I’m going with this. I’ll get to that in the last section of this little essay thing.) There was also something about how she told the story that was quite othering. The way she told it was as though it were an exciting anecdote, a titillating, somewhat shocking story of complicity with an Other. It wasn’t in a tone of ‘someone I knew experienced a scary, horrible encounter with bigotry and I tried to help.’ That lack of empathetic tone is kind of in line with the use of othering terms like “frauline” and “one [of them],” as well as her response to the same situation existing in nursing (”No dark secrets girls, not if you value your life. *giggles*”). I’m sure other people have other views on that conversation, but that’s how it came across to me. There’s also her conversation with Patsy where Patsy asks if she’s “the only one who doesn’t hate them, the queers,” and Trixie says “I just don’t think it’s our battle to fight,” and then changes the subject to her (straight) relationship and how to get the community to accept the straight wife of a gay man. Essentially, overall her perspective ends up being ‘yes it’s wrong that gay people are treated like that, it’s fascist to punish them for being gay, but they can conform, there’s no need to rock the boat.’ Those things I’ve discussed above are actually elements of the episode I really liked. The words and actions of each of the characters are entirely believable and consistent with who they are in the time and place they’re in. What I enjoy about these things is that I think they demonstrate how, in a homophobic & heteronormative society, even good people, even people who are against homophobia, can perpetuate it, be complicit in it, and participate in othering. Here I’m moving on to a broader reflection. I think the examination with Trixie holds, but a clearer example - and one where much more harm is done - is Patrick. Patrick expresses that “we ought to live and let live,” in his conversation with Shelagh, and he goes to court to speak in Tony’s defence, yet he prescribes chemical castration for Tony. He’s clearly very against punishing Tony for his sexuality, and the laws pressuring him to do so, but that doesn’t erase that he’s complicit in that punishment, in that horrible thing that is being done to Tony. He doesn’t stand up to it. Taking it up many notches from Trixie being a beard, Patrick expresses chemical castration being preferable as it is “more private,” again, providing a way to make a gay person conform. Also, in some ways, he buys into the established medical view of homosexuality at the time, seeming to accept that though it’s unfair Tony is being medically altered, his sexuality boils down to “urges”. He recommends that Tony focus on the joy of his child and basically just try his best to conform, and that will be enough. Another example of that is of course with Fred, looking reluctant and expressing apology for kick Tony out of the Civic Defense Corps but still doing it. I wouldn’t count Peter exactly because he set up the honeytrap and is more than just complicit, though he is also an example of how ingrained social hatred can lead to otherwise good people being cruel and utterly shutting off their compassion and empathy. There are also subtler ways like Shelagh, who seems to sit on the fence about accepting gay people, and others Tony in her language (asking how Tony can be “that way”, and if Patrick has met “many others”). And there’s Sister Julienne steadfastly not offering support and deferring to social views of the time (”a judge will try Mr. Amos, not us”). I’d argue those are forms of participation in homophobia, because not challenging bigotry when it’s presented to you is a form of tacit acceptance. The negative side of the refusal to judge that Sister Julienne is so often lauded for is pretty clear here. As Patsy communicates when she asks “who will [fight the battle for gay equality] then?” in her conversation with Trixie, if people chose to be bystanders to bigotry, how will we truly, meaningfully change society? This episode highlights not only how explicit enforcement of structures of oppression is deeply harmful, but how insidious those views are, present to some degree even in good people and even in those who explicitly reject it; how its subtler forms are still harmful, and how “tolerance” of the group being othered is still complicity in the oppression. I mean, I think that’s quite undercut but the whole ‘rat cull’ parallel subplot that communicates ‘it’s alright not to like them for their identity so long as you acknowledge their right to exist,’ but if I disregard that and just focus on the gay plot, that’s what I get.

  Anyways, sorry, my thoughts ran away with me there, I have lots of thoughts and feelings about CtM 4x03. Not at all trying to rain on your reading of it, anon, different readings/aspects of a thing can stand out/be meaningful to different people, and I definitely agree Trixie has some strong moments. But I think it’s also interesting to look at the variety of ways homophobia & heteronormativity are present in people and are presented. And of course, those themes and messages are all too important in our present world as well.

[flying-elliska]

Skam France End of S3 Questionnaire - my own.

I am so ready to enjoy Imane’s season, I will also never stop talking about s3 (I think we can all do both!!). Ever. It’s one of my favorite seasons of TV and media experiences and I can’t wait to analyze it to death. (I’m going to do the s4 questions in another post bc i want ppl to read them and this is already super long, fair warning) 

Favorite “big” clip : I already said Jeudi 17h32 (the bus stop farewell) but it’s such an understated scene, idk if it’s a ‘big one’. Apart from that, I love them all but ‘Vendredi 20h27 “T’es plus tout seul”’ just...did something to me on an almost spiritual level, I will remember it forever. It also give me a push on a personal level to reach out and explain some stuff to people. It made me believe in Love as the most important thing in the universe. I felt all my misgivings about being mentally ill and being worthy of love fall through the basket of my brain for one moment. Yeah. Also the parallel between God’s love and the Church and gay love, and that song, and seeing Eliott like that, and Maman Lallemant, and Lucas’ epic run, and the flashbacks, and the whole Petite Ceinture thing falling into place, dark/light and and and...yeah. Never will be over it. 

Favorite “small” clip : Several come to mind but I have such a soft spot for “Lundi 08h43 - Terre Promise” where they uncover the mural ? First of all that thing was much more beautiful than I thought it would be, aesthetics on point, and Lucas and Eliott being so open and unashamed like that made me feel so warm and fuzzy after all of Lucas’ repression of his own feelings and sexuality. The music and the filming are great in this clip, and I loved learning Imane knew Eliott already and seemed so happy for them, and the whole ‘you ask about politics on Christmas’ gave me such a family vibe. The whole ‘it’s a butt - yeah we gave it our all, body and soul’ was super ridiculous but in that way you don’t even care about when you’re so high on love. It was just super cute. 

Favorite romantic moment : There’s so many but I just can’t get over Lucas buying flowers and croissants for Eliott in “Samedi 9h53 - T’es pas comme les autres” even though he knows he might not appreciate it because he just wants to bring color and beauty at the edge of Eliott’s life ? As a mentally ill person the constancy and care and tenderness of it just moved me to tears. And it represents so much for Lucas’ journey beyond toxic masculinity too, and not being his dad, and letting his caring side out, and just. uggh. 

Favorite kiss : The first one, still. The symbolic of it is just...ahhh. It’s a kiss but it represents so much more - going beyond comfort zones, mutual recognition, stepping into each other’s worlds, understanding, the meeting of two souuuls. And the whole under the rain at night thing is cliché but it just works so well for them because it makes you feel all the relief and strangeness and right-ness of the moment. Their love is like a force of nature. 

Favorite line of dialogue : ‘Lucas, je t’aime.’ 

Favorite (non-Elu) character : Alexia Martineau, absolute bicon, I wish she was more present in the end of the season tbh. I love how colorful and confident and funny she is. Her style is goals, and as a bi plus-size woman the whole character is just therapeutic to me. 

Favorite set : La Petite Ceinture ! I just love the creepy-cool-poetic vibe of it, how well it is used as a character building tool for Eliott, how it shows a different side of Paris as a place, gives them a place of their own, how they go back to it later, what they did with Polaris, etc etc. I love the whole poetry of decaying secret places in general, it reminds me of places I used to take refuge in as a teenager, and now I really, really want to visit it. 

Favorite frame : The candlelit dinner in 19h25. That clip is a punch in the face, but visually, it’s so on point. It’s incandescent. The whole aesthetic of the clip (and the next) manage to be both romantic, and unsettling as hell. The whole idea of the houseboat with the fairylights and the light reflecting on dark water and the sounds of the boat moving.The intimate scenes that make them look like renaissance paintings with that golden light. The shots of that table in particular, with the candles behind the glass, and the two of them with the shotgunning and the blown pupils and the champagne glasses full of golden bubbles. The aesthetic is almost like religious iconography with the dark/light contrasts, light through glass ( the candle motif is repeated in the church scene) and the way it frames their feelings - it’s so f*cking intense, exhilarating, almost too much. It makes you feel both Lucas’ awe at being loved like that, how in tune they are, and the fact that Eliott’s manic episode is really about to surface, the brief descent into darkness to come. It does so many things. It’s gorgeous. 

Favorite Lucas character arc moment : Well, the whole of the season obviously, and things I’ve said above, how he cares for Eliott after his episode, the Remember scene, living his love out loud, etc. But in particular what sticks out to me is the articulation of the Jeudi 1h48 night scene, his coming out to Yann, and the Intervention clip because that’s where his self acceptance goes through the hardest point and makes it through. He lets himself come to terms with his emotions, and figures out that even though the reaction of the world might be hard, his own self expression is still the most important thing. He’s so brave in those clips, and the acting brings it to an incredible level. 

Favorite Eliott character arc moment : Again, the moment he says to Lucas he loves him. Because this is him, seeing Lucas and reaching out through his insecurities and telling him that what they had was real. But it’s also him validating his own feelings, believing in them, letting himself have this after a whole season of going back and forth out of fear of messing it up. He’s putting his own fears aside too, fears of being seen and vulnerable and daring for something better than a relationship that is just ‘okay.’ He’s finally going for it 100% and accepting Lucas’ love and his own capacity for it. It’s just...wow. 

Favorite other character arc moment : Daphné’s gaining confidence through the foyer made me super happy. But tbh, my favorite is Yann. He’s very underrated in general, I feel. He’s not as ‘ideal bff’ as Jonas or Skam It’s Gio, but his arc feels very important and meaningful to me. Seeing someone mess up and admit to his mistakes is super important. Because I feel there are soooo many straight guys who can learn from this - that casual homophobia is in the water of our culture and sometimes you just don’t realize what you are saying. And i feel, even though this isn’t directly adressed (and i wish it was) that Lucas also learns from this re: his words about ‘crazy people’ and what compassion and growing up means. I love Leo’s acting in general. Yann has a very compelling presence, calm (but a bit loopy at times), he feels deeply, and his betrayal at Lucas’ not sharing and subsequent realization he had messed up felt very real and mature for a 16 yr old. And how he embraces Lucas afterwards made me feel all fuzzyhearted. I wish we saw more of their friendship tbh. 

Favorite Axel acting moment : ummm every single minute he was on, like. He never once felt false. That guy is going places. One of my fave things is just the look on his face in certain scenes Lucas has with Eliott - how it completely lights up, and the contrast with his more closed off persona in the beginning. It’s like he’s a completely different person - younger, wilder, more alive, daring, unafraid, and absolutely thrilled to have found his soulmate. It’s beautiful. And the crying difficult scenes, how he’s not afraid to ugly cry and just go there and make it a real gut punch. He just goes through such a transformation throughout the season, too. It’s nuts to me they didn’t even film in chronological order. Lucas just seems so much more grown up and at ease in his own skin at the end of the season. Mind blown. But if I had to pick one : the look on his face at the end of Jeudi 17h32 - sadness to see Eliott leave, but so much happiness, and also like he’s coming to terms with his own journey and breathing for the first time ? So much in one frame. 

Favorite Maxence acting moment : tbh i was a little less sure of him in the beginning, but I feel like his restlesness and slight awkwardness and being a little too forceful at times (which some might have called ‘bad acting’) was actually a good acting choice ? Because Eliott feels so much, he’s so sensitive, and it would lead to feeling a little out of place around others, there’s so much emotion brimming under the surface he can’t always regulate it properly (I would know. it was painful to watch at times.) He really outsold it in the scene in “Lundi 17:21 “On verra bien.” where Eliott talks about his illness. That pain in his eyes when he says “I’m going to make you go through hell.” ? Ouch. He’s really good with his eyes in general, esp in the beginning when Eliott is the ‘mysterious new guy’ and the way he looks at Lucas at the end of ‘Not necessarily a girl’ ? Daaaaaaaaamn. 

Favorite (non-Elu) acting moment : Marilyn Lima as Manon. She was so good in every clip she was in. It almost made me want to watch s2 even though I hate Noorhell plotlines with a fiery passion. She just sold how bruised and sad and let down she was and it was a doorway to Lucas’ own empathy and feeling his own feelings, and reflecting on how true love should be supportive in the dark moments. Especially in the night time clip, they were so good together. 

Favorite social media moment : they were really good at it (we could have had more clips though) and my absolute fave is what they did with Eliott’s insta - the hunt for it at the beginning with the code, the cool drawings, the queer culture references, the somewhat alarming poetry, it all helped flesh out Eliott’s character in a way that we didn’t have with Even and made us fall in love so much more. The moment where we were all waiting for Lucas’ to discover Eliott’s insta (and the hilarity of the (probably made up) moment where Matteo/German Isak followed him first) with baited breath, was the most brilliant bit of intermedia storytelling I have ever seen. It was so cool. Also Emma and Alex’s insta stories made me like a Chriseva pairing for the first time, lol. 

Favorite music moment : Remember, obviously. The chorus, timeless feeling, epic rythm ? Just perfect. And Fête de trop : so powerful, thematically on point, made me discover Eddy de Pretto. Also brilliant use of piano music and how it’s related to them. I want a social media vid of Lucas playing ‘I love you’ again for Eliott at some point. 

Favorite bts/cast&crew moment : so many of them. But tbh I am especially grateful for Maxence’s openness about his own issues and his process on how he worked on the Eliott role. His Actor Factory interview where he talked about how mental illness can be so fucking lonely but life can still be beautiful had me cry like a little baby in my favorite café. It just made me want to be around creative ppl more, and dedicate myself to my own creative process seriously ? And his lives are also so cool. The dude in general is so effing relatable. (well, and cute tbh ahahaha). I also really, really loved Niels’ insight in the writing process. I haven’t stanned a cast this hard in forever and now I want to give everything up and try to write my own series lmaooo. 

Favorite fandom moment : all the theorizing and staying up late and shit was golden. I love talking with ppl and sharing the love. And it’s given me a lot more confidence in my own writing. But special love to the @renewskamfrance team and the whole thing, it’s been completely nuts and I am so happy we started this. 

…

Most romantic moment : I am realizing this question is a double but whatever, there’s no shortage of them. Eliott drawing Lucas as a hedgehog, the smooth artsy motherf*cker. And the insta in general. If someone made a cartoon animal version of me, that was also that fitting to my character, I would just ask them to marry me on the spot. I live for that artsy shit. I understand why Lucas was so into it right from the start. And of course the timeless cloud of queer intimacy that was Samedi 09h17. 

Moment that made you fall in love with the season : The piano scene, because it showed so much more depth in Lucas’ character. We were all Eliott then, falling in love with him and the season, and their ability to mix things up compared to OG. 

Most heartbreaking moment : Tied.  “Samedi 14h32 Intervention″ - I don’t think I’ve cried so much all season.  I’ve been there, too, and Lucas’ anguish at being ostracized and judged for something he can’t control, and his thinking that Eliott didn’t care about him, and Mika saying ‘you will have to keep coming out for the rest of your life’ all felt so impactful but the ‘fuck them’ at the end, so empowering.  It was heartbreaking in a good way, incredibly cathartic. Meanwhile “Vendredi 23:37 Une putain de lubie” is heartbreaking in the bad way lol, it stomps on your heart, the contrast with how happy they were only moments before absolutely brutal, and Lucille’s cruel words on top of it. Watching Lucas lose it like that was so difficult to watch, the panic of it, the absolute despair. But it was so well done. And of course “Jeudi 01:48 Viens on en parle pas″. So simple, so powerful, and we were all so tired when we watched it, it was super effective. 

Most funny moment : The ‘discovery of the butt’ moment was hilarious, also loved the boys’ reaction to Lucas telling them Eliott was his bf, the vodka sunday scenes, and the entirety of the scene in the second-hand shop with the scary dolls, but I just can’t get over Imane and the tampons in “Lundi 8:53 Quoi moi et Emma” , that was just pure gold but it also shows how good she is at embarassing nosy ppl and inventive and it made me want to know so much more about her. 

Most enlightening moment :  The season as a whole has made me think so much about my own relationship to my emotions and love and self-expression. After the ‘Remember’ sequence I really had this moment of....I can’t hate myself anymore ? It was so powerful. And episode 10 in general. But in earlier episodes, ep 5/6 in particular made me realize how much I was also repressing my own feelings and how unhealthy that shit was. The whole thing was just in general a process. And after the last clip I had such a feeling of general tenderness towards the show, the world and wanting to give love more of a place in my life.  

Best aesthetics moment :  Like I said houseboat scene. The use of light throughout the season, incredibly beautiful, But of course the painting thing. It was just such a perfect use of aesthetics to make a point in the story (i don’t really care if it’s not realistic). Now they are finally living out loud in all the colors of life. It was such a radiant affirmation of love and pride and joy. And the mural actually looked really cool, suprisingly (I was expecting a brown-ish mess lol). 

Best change from OG: The show was at its best when it changed things up. I love especially that they made their own symbolism. I love the whole concept of the Foyer and how much more integral they made it to the story than Kosegruppa, how it comes to stand for togetherness and diversity. I love the girl squad being more present and the role they gave Alexia. I love Lucas being a pianist and taking more initiative in going after Eliott (it’s not a diss against Isak, his awkwardness was so endearing and it made sense) but it made them their own characters. But I think my favorite thing is how they changed around the sequence of events slightly in the last episodes - Lucas coming out to his mom after Eliott’s episode and Basile’s talk is tying it together better, it feels like he’s thinking about how he’s treated his mother in the past because of her MI and it makes it part more of the learning process ; his mother’s loving reaction is a perfect example of ‘you have to let MI ppl speak for themselves.” And them spreading the ‘minute by minute’ concept over several clips gave us a more in depth look into Eliott’s condition, which I will be forever grateful for, the talk with Lucille as well as Lucas learning he needs to take care of himself, too. 

Best similar scene to OG : Overall I liked that they kept the story structure of the OG, because honestly, it just works so well - the Isak character’s trajectory from repression to openness to compassion. Sana/Imane’s speech about  hate coming from fear, not religion. The few episodes that focused on Lucas’ self-acceptance more than the love story.  

Best group dynamics scene : Intervention. Loved the complementary of Mika as queer guru, Manon as nurturing presence, and Lisa as comical outsider point of view being so out of it. But also loved the ‘vodka sunday’ dynamics with Manon, Lucas and Emma getting wasted, complaining about their love lives, the sadness but also the solidarity, Lucas talking about his love life so openly and making gay jokes about himself, Emma’s whole messy girl thing and ‘he’s just a p*nis”!!!” had me laughing for hours. 

Best glow-up : Lucas of course. More in terms of character perception, Mika. He really annoyed me in the beginning of the season, he was mean and uncaring and lacking in boundaries, it was toeing the line of cliché, and I love how they showed us more depth to him, that they let him be deservedly angry, and how caring with Lucas he became, while still being slightly annoying, and their sibling dynamic in general, slightly antagonistic but super supportive. 

Best social awareness moment : Mika’s speech, Yann’s apologies, and Lucille and Basile’s talks about mental illness. 

Best symbolism : Polaaaris. Also God is gay now. And the first clip/end clip parallel, with them counting minutes. 

Best editing/filming/technical moment : the Remember sequence, and how they made the scenes used in the flashback a little longer, giving us the impression that their relationship is actually so much deeper than what we’ve already seen ; the parallels with the priest’s speech, the sunny vibe of Eliott laughing vs. his face in the ending shots, the music, the acting, the running, all of it.  

Best/most interesting cultural adaptation : The Foyer storyline and especially the sit-in moment. So French. It gave me flashbacks to my whole class staging sit-in protests in middle school (at 13!!!!) already for the wackiest of reasons, already practicing saying fuck off to authority and being rowdy little shits. It made me miss my country. 

…

Least favorite clip/moment : Mercredi 13:38 annoyed the shit out of me lol. It started out so well, with the summer of love aesthetics and Elu being all cute, but that lasted all of 40s and then we had an extremely unpleasant moment of Basile disrespecting Daphne’s boundaries and Arthur and Yann pressuring her to ‘give him a chance’ and how the misogynistic song he sent her is actually cute’ and we’re supposed to feel sorry for him ? I liked the end of season glow-up for him, but this scene was just gross. And I don’t mind having a POV that’s a little bit more loose than in OG but in this clip, it just felt jarring, how Lucas just flat out disappeared. I wanted to see Eliott interact with the squad more, and I resent the idea that seeing them just be happy and cuddly is not worthy of screentime for some reason. UGh. That was the one moment that the show pissed me off. Also, in the scene where Chloé offers her apologies (good) I feel like they validated her outing Lucas so he had to come to terms with his feelings. (which is a really bad message and I wish they’d written that with a bit more nuance.) 

Least favorite change from OG : Overall, this remains my least favorite boy squad. The insistence on Basile’s gross, creepy humor felt overdone, and I feel they spent too much time on him. The idea that he’s been taught bad things by society about what a man is, fits the overal theme, but did we really need to know that he wanted to bang his cousin ? Yikes. And Arthur and the 35-yr old too, what the hell ? I just felt that their banter was a lot less natural and flowed less well than in OG. 

Least favorite similarity from OG : Really don’t know about this one. Most of what they kept was good. 

Most disappointing scene : the banter scene between the boys in 18:14, I always loved the banter between the boys in OG. Magnus saying stupid shit about gay s*x and being shut down felt educative without being heavy. Here there was way too much of Basile being gross again. And it just didn’t flow as well, the pacing was way too fast. A lot of the scenes that were a bit disappointing to me this season had to do with timing tbh, too fast. 

Something you wish they’d added :  I wish they actually had Lucas say he realized he’d say messed up stuff about mentally ill people.

Thing you wish the fandom would take away from this season : Chill a bit before drawing conclusions, wait for the whole season ahahaha. 

…

French word you will remember : I am French but I have never felt so validated in my overuse of the word ‘putain’. also saying mec/meuf a lot more. 

If you could steal one item from the set : Eliott’s camel jacket, I want one too, what a look. 

Scene you wish you could live in your own life : a lot of the romantic ones but also ? I wish I’d breaken into my high school to have a party at least once in my life lol. There’s a club next to my place in an old renovated school i reaaaally need to check out. 

Character you identify the most with : Eliott in general, Daphné for her overenthusiasm and awkwardness and spontaneity and optimism and drive to organize things. Lucas because of the whole trying so hard to control his image, being spiky on the surface and soft inside. 

Character you want to be like the most : Honestly, Lucas. Not in the beginning but his courage and his emotional intelligence and openness as the season progressed really are goals. It made me want to use my past painful experiences to extend compassion and be there for others, and learn how to be better at it. He’s going to grow into such an amazing man. And honestly his newfound pride in his relationship and pettiness are also goals lol. Imane as well, for how protective she is of her friends. And Alexia in terms of demeanour and confidence and funky vibe. 

Most relatable character moment : Lucas’ eyeroll. Emma and her lava lamp. Lucas being so immediately smitten with Eliott, because like, same. 

Fave fandom theory : lol I cracked up so hard at the whole ‘Eliott is a ghost’ thing, thx Billy Maier. I really don’t know why we were all so set on a bullying plotline, like why do we do that to ourselves lol ? 

Whew ! Well, if you read through all of that, you’re one hell of a nerd, and I love you !!! I’m doing S4 questions in a separate post because this is wayy too long !!! 

[fortevoce]

1, 2 - tell us about the yamada family

@exposensei || character solidifying || accepting

1. How does your character think of their father? What do they hate and love about him? What influence - literal or imagined - did the father have?

hizashi loves his father. though not blood relatives, it’s been remarked more than once that yamada hizashi and yamada takuma bear a certain family resemblance even so: on the surface level, it’s a similarity in physique – they’re both long and lanky – but there’s also a certain openness about them that they share. takuma is a very earnest and genuine person, and a good bit of that is reflected in his son.

anyway, hizashi respects his father a lot. takuma is much quieter than hizashi is, but the things he has to say are meaningful. he was the only one in hizashi’s household growing up that had a commuting job (hizashi’s mother worked from home), so hizashi saw less of him than he saw his mother, but takuma brought home little anecdotes about his work and the things he saw that day that always made hizashi laugh. he had a way of turning even the most mundane of exchanges into an engaging story, just by the way he described it, and this was perhaps the seed of what makes hizashi so interested in people’s stories today. his father didn’t tell him fairy tales; he told him stories about real people, ordinary people he passed on the street, and made those people’s lives sound exciting and meaningful. that level of attention, of observance when it came to other people was absolutely a quality hizashi admired and has tried to emulate in his own interactions with others.

on the other hand, takuma is far more restrained than hizashi has ever been. he can express his thoughts well, but often keeps them to himself; he is very smart, but not loud or flashy. and there was a time, when hizashi was a teenager, when hizashi let himself grow more distant from his father; hizashi, having finally learned to control his quirk was loud, and he was flashy, and he was always moving, always had something to say, and for a while he began to dismiss takuma as rather…boring. he forgot, for a time, how much he had loved takuma’s ability to turn the mundane into the fantastic as a kid; as a teenager, he had less patience and saw only the mundane. not to say that he ever had a bad relationship with his father – he never really did; he certainly always loved takuma – but there were a few years where he was very busy with school, and his father was very busy with work, and hizashi didn’t…try very hard to overcome that to maintain a strong relationship with a father he had begun to dismiss as boring.

now, adult hizashi would like to go back in time and give teenage hizashi a good talking-to about that, because he came in his early twenties, and certainly has ever since, to appreciate anew takuma’s wisdom and insight and quiet wit. they have a very good relationship today.

2. Their mother? How do they think of her? What do they hate? Love? What influence - literal or imagined - did the mother have?

yamada keiko is and always has been the most important woman in hizashi’s life.

she has always worked from home, so she was around the most when hizashi was growing up, up through high school. she’s the one who taught him compassion and empathy. she was there for him growing up, when he was scared and upset by his own quirk. she supported him and loved him when he doubted himself, and was there to soothe and encourage him when he worked himself to exhaustion trying to control his quirk. 

though she spent much of her time at her computer working, she also loves to bake and cook, and hizashi often cooked with her growing up; baking became their bonding activity. she taught hizashi much of what he considers the most important lessons he’s learned – compassion, empathy, caring for yourself and others. she’s one of those people who seems to exude motherhood, or at least so she seems to hizashi. 

in fact, for a long time, keiko was essentially hizashi’s best friend. he didn’t have many, if any, friends growing up, because of his quirk, which i’ve talked about before – and in that time, it was keiko who played with him, who taught him games and talked with him and kept him from feeling alone. she wasn’t a replacement for children his age, but she did her best, and he can’t ever really think of his childhood as unhappy, even with his struggles, because he always had her and his father there caring for him.

funnily enough, though, if you asked hizashi his favorite thing about his mother, his first thought wouldn’t be a memory of how she treated him, but rather a memory of how she treated someone else. when aizawa shouta needed a place to stay, only a few months after hizashi had met him, and in fact when keiko and takuma had only met him a couple of times – it was keiko who, as soon as hizashi explained shouta’s predicament, offered their home to him. it was keiko who drove them to the police station in the aftermath of the fire and hugged shouta like he were her own son. 

even though, at first, she couldn’t communicate with shouta very directly – he didn’t yet know sign, and keiko, entirely deaf, does not talk, so hizashi generally acted as a translator for both of them – she still did all she could to make him feel comfortable in their home, understanding that in the wake of tragedy he needed time to grow comfortable with them. hizashi had always loved her, but as she was the only mother figure he’d ever experienced, he also took her care a little bit for granted – but seeing the way she became a mother for shouta as well, a boy she barely knew at the start, a boy who had never had the best of parents, showed hizashi the true value of her giving and loving nature.

and he tries to emulate that, in the way he cares for others.

[suchasuckerformontages-blog]

Kong: Skull Island (2017)

directed by Jordan Vogt-Roberts                                                                    written by Max Borenstein (first draft) and John Gatins (second draft)

Thoughts:

To be honest I didn't expect much from this movie. Which means I was surprised by it's cinematography, it's nice colour coding (as if you jumped right into an Indiana Jones movie) and overall high shooting quality. The fight scenes were rarely too long and boring with the exception of the one where they walk through the bones of Kong's deceased family and meet the reptile thingy. At first it was pretty exciting how they employed the well-known horror movie technique of seeing only flickers of the monster circling one in but then they show it and there is this kind of unnecessary scene of James Conrad (Tom Hiddleston) fighting of other monster thingies to save one of the crew members (at least not a woman) in a very heroic manner.

While I was a fan of the initial (and most likely intentional) premise of the movie: The whole, admittedly a little oversimplified, Kong is not a monster, he just defends his territory (that's not the real reason though as we get to find out later in the movie), I was a little disappointed by the ending. They spend so much time establishing the idea that Kong is not the monster, he's just misunderstood, he actually wants to help the people on the island to then introduce us to a new monster, the reptile thing, which we are expected to have the same attitude towards as we had towards Kong before we knew that he wasn't really a monster. And that's what bugs me. A monster in this movie is defined by whether or not he harms the humans. Kong does harm the humans at first but then we slowly get to learn why, and how he actually helps them, and form an emotional bond with him. The big one of the skull crawlers doesn't even get a name and he only appears at the end as Kong's enemy. Immediately we are supposed to make the same mistake we might have made at the beginning of the movie. But that's not how it works and it shouldn't work like that either. Our definition of a monster shouldn't depend on whether it harms us as humans or not (which is part of what caused the mess we are in environmentally at the moment) .            After having thought about this for a while though, I have to admit that the movie might actually comment on this idea of ours to define someone or something as being monstrous depending on who they are harming. There is this one scene where Kong is attacked by a giant calamari and they combat a little while but in the end Kong kills it with the intention to eat it. In this scenario I clearly felt how my sympathy and empathy shifted between the two animals depending on which one had the upper hand and which one was inferior at that moment. I suppose that I was not the only one who felt like that and I therefore guess that it was the intention of the film makers to create this sentiment of ambiguity and to point out that for some reason humans tend to give their compassion to individuals that are in need of it. However who is in need is rarely as easily determined as in these life and death situations we are confronted with in action movies. And even then it's not always as clear as we are made to believe. Complex motives are a huge aspect of what makes us alive and what makes it possible for us to identify and thus sympathise with other characters (even if these characters are not humans).

Nonetheless this was just one scene and I doubt it's what's going to stick with people especially when you are too overwhelmed by the action in it. What's probably going to stick is: Nice to humans equals good. And for a movie that is supposedly about monsters and what makes them monsters it's simply not enough. I fully understand that an action movie needs action sequences that usually come in the form of a fight scene and that the easiest way to do so is by creating a completely detestable enemy (one where you don't have to question yourself and reflect on what you're thinking). And I get that this is what happened in Kong: Skull Island maybe partly so that the pacing would be right: A big battle with high stakes at the end.

Yet for a movie that claims to deal with the image of monsters in relation to humans it was a bit disappointing. Ofcourse that's not to say that I hated the movie. For example I loved (,loved, loved) that the writer(s) decided to leave out the damsel in distress cliché of the other King Kong movies. And overall I had a really good time watching the movie. So let's just see how the story will go on.

The Feminist Point of view:

Brie Larson as Mason Weaver: An anti-war photographer and investigative photojournalist. Larson stated that her character has her "own sort of motive" as to why she joined the expedition: "That's the interesting thing about this movie. It's a group of misfits that are all coming from different angles looking at the same thing. You get to see how many different views in regards to nature and how we should handle it are dealt with from many different perspectives".Larson further added that Weaver has an "interest and respect for nature" and "Through that she has a closer, more loving, and intimate relationship with Kong"

Jing Tian as San Lin: A biologist working for Monarch. According to Vogt-Roberts and Borenstein, her role was originally larger but had been reduced. Alison de Souza of the Straits Times wrote that in the final film Jing Tian's role would be described in Chinese as a "hua ping" (花瓶), meaning a vase, which refers to insignificant roles, and that she "hardly does or says a thing."

(Wikipedia)

I know it's Wikipedia but it does already say a lot.

Mako-Mori-test:

a) at least one female character

There are even two out of thirteen! (don't think I have to stress this but *irony*)

b)  who gets her own narrative arc

Sort of. One of them (Mason Weaver) does have a background story that is talked about but she doesn't really have an arc (though to be fair none of the male characters seem to really make a real emotional development that could be called an arc either).

c) that is not about supporting a man’s story.

Mason Weaver is very closely linked to Tom Hiddleston's character which makes it hard to say whether she is supporting his character or just interacts with him but she is very clearly not just there to support a man's character as she brings another perspective to the story.

Bechdel- Test:

a) at least two female characters with names

Check.

b) that talk to each other

Probably. Maybe. But for the life of me I can't remember what that would have been about. If they did talk it must have been short or simply not very memorable (again to be fair I also can't remember a lot of meaningful dialogue between male characters and after all it's still an action movie.)

c) about something other than a man

See above.

[miseriathome]

People think of themselves as more legitimate when they operate under solidarity instead of in coalitions. The cool thing about the LGBT(QQIAPP+) mess of an acronym is that it defines different kinds of groups that belong together, without making an attempt to justify how one relates to another.

What REG’s did was try to ascribe solidarity to a coalition. When they said “the community is about fighting homophobia and transphobia,” they decided that every member of the group should have the same experiences, thus unifying them through something tangible.

The problem I have with solidarity (read as: shared experiences as the basis for unity in activist groups) is that if the criteria for entry is having a certain experience, the group is inevitably going to reject somebody who would benefit from access to a community and to resources, but who isn’t up to snuff. You can see this in racial activist groups, for example, when they kick out mixed folks for being too white, or adopted folks for not having the right cultural upbringing.

The point of coalitional politics is to be a community. If you think of a community like a street of small apartments, nothing really unifies the people on that street except that they live there, and living there is something that could easily change. But people are nonetheless friendly to their neighbors and try to help one-another out. They take turns being on neighborhood watch duty and they pool their resources to maintain a community garden. One guy who lives there has a daughter who doesn’t; she comes to visit every so often and all the neighbors still welcome her with an open embrace even though she isn’t technically one of them, but she’s close enough, and that’s what a community is. If somebody shows up to their block party uninvited, they’re not going to say “go away,” they’re going to say “we have plenty of food, enjoy yourself! Do you know somebody here, or are you just stopping by? Either way is great, the more the merrier!” And people who move away are still treated like family and welcome back at any time, thus increasing the pool of people-who-don’t-live-here-but-are-still-part-of-our-community. And at some point, one of the apartments catches on fire, and only the people who lived there know the true pain of their own experiences; plenty of others can’t relate at all, but they still show compassion and try to be good allies, even if it’s not an issue that affects them personally.

I think about this street metaphor a lot when I’m trying to organize a group, because that’s how activism should be--lots of different people with any or no amount of similarity should rally behind causes together and give one another support, even though they may not have any shared experience. Having compassion doesn’t require you to have felt the pain of oppression, whether it’s internal or social. You don’t need dysphoria to be trans and you don’t need to have faced outright transphobia to be trans.

A lot of people think that queer, as a community identifier, is about people who don’t fit elsewhere. And to some extent, this is true--it aligns with the historical context of queer meaning weird. However this kind of thinking leads to the idea that it’s a solidarity group centered around fighting queerphobia and normative Straightness. With solidarity groups, there always has to be a line. Some people draw the line “monogamous able-bodied neurotypical peri-cis-allo-hetero vanilla white person,” whereas others get into passionate arguments, asserting that polyamory, kink, drag, etc aren’t queer.

The way to fix this is to make it very very clear that queer is for people who want to call themselves queer. The queer community is firstly a community for one another (in that it provides comfort and support to its members) and secondly an activist group. People call themselves queer when they need a community and when they are ready to defy norms that box people in (thus choosing a definitionless identifier over a concrete one like you would find in the LGBT acronym).

Given the nature of what a community is, who is allowed in a community, and how activism is most effective, it makes sense not to police who can call themselves queer. So with regard to polyam//kink/drag/etc, proximity to queerness and a willingness to identify as queer is all it takes to be welcomed into the community, and rightfully so. I think this model is the best way to not only form productive, meaningful communities, but also to respect the autonomy of each individual member, by giving them the choice to enter or not.

The way I see it, LGBT was historically a solidarity group (which started with G, then LG, then LGB), but as the smaller identity categories started voicing their unique experiences and creating more precise solidarity groups within the larger one, the entirety of LGBT expanded to be a coalition. Identity politics became a bigger thing and people realized that their behaviors didn’t have to reflect their attractions, so attraction became the root of identity. Thus, entry into LGBT was definitional; if you were lesbian, gay, bi, or trans (or another letter in whatever acronym is being used), then you were given automatic entry. And when people are automatically enlisted, no matter their life experiences or politics, you can’t be an activist group. So LGBT was successful at giving people resources and emotional support, but it was never supposed to be the face of queer politics. And that’s why “homophobia and transphobia” (or “SGA and trans”) doesn’t make sense--because LGBT as a coalition/solidarity group can’t fight anything on a unified front, because they aren’t truly unified.

The thing that unifies the queer community is the choice to be queer and the choice to respect that each other queer individual has just as much right to call themselves queer as the next person. That’s what makes queer politics so successful, is that if you’re not onboard, you’re not going to join; queer is as much an ideology as it is an identity. It’s a community of people who come from all walks of life but prioritize compassion over empathy because they understand that they may never actually understand, but that doesn’t mean bad things can’t end.

[stephantasmagoria]

From the Team: Intervening in an Arrest

My submission to the “From the Team” section of the July 2019 Fearless Heart Newsletter by Miki Kashtan. This is about my experiencing witnessing and intervening in the arrests of two teenager at my high school alma mater in Fresno, CA. I use a framework created by Miki to review, investigate, and analyze nonviolence practice and theory in relation to the action. 

I jogged past the iron bars surrounding Fresno High School (FHS), my hometown alma mater. It was the Friday before the school’s spring break. The oppressive heat of a Fresno, California spring doesn’t punch like the fists of its summers. It is more like an open-handed slap, the kind that bruises a child’s skin as punishment for simply being a child.

As sweat dripped from my forehead, I saw a Black male teenager being arrested by two police officers outside campus. “If you see someone being arrested, it can be supportive for everyone’s safety if you stop and witness. This is especially true if the arrested person is a person of color, and even more true if you are white”. These words from my colleague and dear friend, Leonie Smith, echoed through my head at that moment. I first heard them during a Responsible Bystander training, an offering Leonie co-developed and facilitated at a meditation center last fall.

“There must be a reason for it. There’s probably nothing you can do. Just keep running”. This harsh voice followed Leonie’s. It is old and familiar. I attended FHS during the era of “No Child Left Behind”, a time when increasing numbers of children of color were forced behind bars. That harsh voice frequently controlled me as a student at FHS. Although I was in the statistical minority of white kids within the student body, white privilege protected me throughout high school. It influenced my decisions to turn away from my criminalized peers.

Since Leonie’s voice is far more beautiful than the played-out harsh voice, I decided to listen to her and witness the arrest. I was also able to prevent the arrest of a second teenager by applying nonviolence techniques I learned from Leonie and other activists at the Nonviolent Global Liberation retreat in Santa Cruz, CA. As I read Miki’s most recent newsletter, ‘Steps toward meaningful action‘, my understanding of the situation came into focus. I am sharing my account of the experience here, and using the steps as a framework to deepen my reflections.

My account of the experience:

Around 8:30am on Friday, April 12, 2019, I stop jogging to witness a white police officer arresting a Black teenager in front of Fresno High School (FHS). A Latinx cop searches the teen’s backpack on the hood of a police car. I do not hear anyone informing the arrested teen of his rights. A Latinx teenager approaches the scene and starts talking to his arrested friend. “We’re like cousins”, the friend tells one of the cops when asked why he is there. The white officer puts the arrested teen in the back of the police car, but both officers allow the friend to stay and talk through the slits in the car window.

A third police officer, who is also white, arrives around 8:45am. He steps out of his car and begins yelling at the friend within minutes. The friend tries to explain that he has a close relationship with the arrested teen. The third officer continues yelling, and the friend eventually yells back. The cop moves towards the teenage friend, stops within a foot of his face, and threatens to arrest him for truancy.

Recalling lessons learned from nonviolence activist trainings, I witness while actively working to transform my enemy images of the police officer. Holding the intention to support everyone’s safety, I step toward the situation. I recognize the Latinx teenager as more vulnerable,  so I focus my attention on him. “Hey, I know you’re worried about your friend”, I say to the Latinx teen. He briefly stops shouting and looks at me. The third officer continues to yell over my voice. “Can I have a moment to speak with him?”, I ask the officer.

“Sure, go ahead”, he responds. He walks away from the Latinx teen and towards the other officers.

I continue speaking to the Latinx teen. “I know you’re worried about your friend. I am too. That’s why I’m here. I am concerned that you might be hurt or arrested if you stay, though. I encourage you to go on campus”. The friend listens to some of what I say before shouting an expletive at the police officer. He then walks through the iron bars and on to the FHS campus. Blood rushes to my feet, and my heart beat rises when I realize the friend is safe in that moment.

The next moment, I turn my attention back to the officers and the arrested teen. I hear the officers explain why they suspect the Black teen of armed robbery, even though they didn’t find any weapons. They say he was in the neighborhood where the crime took place, he was sweating a lot, and he fit the description of the suspect. The third officer looks at me mid-conversation and asks, “Excuse me, are you a school official?”.

“No, I’m just concerned and decided to witness”, I respond.

“Oh, ok, well thanks for your help with that kid”, the officer says. I notice myself wanting to shout at him and blame him for escalating the situation, but I stay silent. I return to the practice of transforming enemy images, neither challenging nor affirming his misrepresentation of my intention.

The two white officers eventually leave in separate cars. The Latinx officer gets in the driver’s seat of the car holding the arrested teen. As the engine starts, I walk towards the slotted window. “Don’t say anything other than ‘I need a lawyer’. That’s all you say, over and over, until you have a lawyer. Nothing else! Ok?”, I say to the arrested teen. He looks at me and nods his head before the car pulls away.

Steps toward Meaningful Action:

Notice. I noticed the two voices in my head before I stopped to witness. When listening to the harsh voice, I noticed tension in my body. Memories of the many times I walked away from criminalized classmates plagued me. I recognized a rising sense of disempowerment and failing integrity. Leonie’s voice illuminated the possibility of using my white privilege in service to a nonviolent outcome. Making a conscious decision to stop and witness, I recalled specific lessons from many nonviolence trainings: maintain embodied presence, set intention, listen with empathy, transform enemy images, and hold safety for all while supporting those most vulnerable. That last one is a key component of Leonie’s Responsible Bystander model. These principles helped me hold the possibility of a nonviolent outcome as I made moment-to-moment decisions.

Mourning and Analysis.  It may appear paradoxical to combine the emotional process of mourning with the seemingly impersonal process of analysis, but they are profoundly intertwined for me in relation to this experience. Mourning happened in the moment, and it continues to happen. I mourn the past, knowing that my blind adherence towards the harsh voice contributed to disempowerment for me and my high school peers. I mourn the present, especially for these teenagers who are two of too many children detrimentally impacted by systemic racism. I mourn my silence when the white police officer misrepresented my intention. His words, “thanks for your help with that kid”, implied that I was a partner in controlling the teen rather than an advocate for his safety and freedom. I mourn that I failed to respond in clear alignment with my values.

Analysis and mourning are most obvious to me when I travel through my deep past. The pattern of hiding behind white privilege goes beyond my lifetime. My father, who was born and raised in Fresno by refugees of the Armenian genocide, embraced white identity and encouraged me to do the same. My grandparents’ terror influenced their decision to assimilate in a city where racism and xenophobia mingle with toxic air pollutants. My ancestors wanted safety, freedom, and belonging. They believed whiteness was the appropriate strategy to meet these needs. By the time I was born, the survival strategy of embracing whiteness while turning away from “others” became an entrenched behavioral pattern.

I must clarify that this analysis of my Armenian ancestry is neither comprehensive nor condemning. First, the factors contributing to assimilation of immigrant groups in the  United States is far more complex than I am presenting here.* Second, I hold immense love, respect and compassion for my dad and Armenian ancestors. Yet it is still important to investigate the impact of assimilation on my life. It enables me to mourn the pain of my family, reckon with my decisions, and make conscious choices going forward.

Reframe as needed. Miki’s description of reframing fits well with my experience of the police officers, especially the third officer. She says, “If we see the police as a part of the working class that was pushed into working for the elite we will act differently than if we only see them through the lens of the impact they have as instruments of the state, without holding in the mix their humanity, including their potential to shift”. A similar reframing happened for me at the scene. I made a conscious choice to transform enemy images of the police as I witnessed. Throughout this process, I noticed my nervous system settle in the intensity. I am convinced this helped me stay as calm as possible as I approached the escalating argument between the white officer and Latinx teen. Had I approached that encounter without connecting to the officer’s humanity, I believe the risk of further escalation and harm could have changed the course of events.

Discern and Care. I am gaining more insight into what I bring to this life as I age and mature. Although I do not always like to admit it, an important factor to consider is my social location. As an adult woman with white skin privilege, I have more status quo power than the two teenagers. Honest acknowledgment and rigorous discernment of my social location helped inform my role, and enabled me to advocate more boldly than I had in the past.

I also experienced discernment as a moment-to-moment necessity. This continuously informed my decisions to care for all, especially for myself and the teenagers.  Orienting towards embodied presence helped me gauge that I could step towards the escalated encounter with composure and effectiveness. It helped me feel my visceral reaction to the police officer when he mischaracterized my intention. Discerning that blaming and yelling might compromise my own safety, and therefore the ability to support the arrested teen, I made the best choice I could by remaining silent.

Because I was able to stay at the scene and continuously respond to each moment, I recognized another opportunity to intervene. I held knowledge about what the arrested teen might experience under custody. I also knew what he could do to protect himself from self-incrimination. It was vital to share this information with him before he was in an unknown situation alone. By discerning how to best take care of myself each moment, I was able to take the best possible care of everyone in the situation.

Support. I am fortunate to have many connections to NVC activists. Within hours of the incident, I received empathy from a friend who helped me celebrate the prevention of the Latinx teen’s arrest, mourn the Black teen’s arrest, and identify feelings and needs relating to my silence when the officer mischaracterized my intentions. She also encouraged me to do some shaking to help release residual trauma from the experience.

Leonie and I discussed the incident a few days later. She offered similar empathy, helped me understand that I did the best I could when I chose to remain silent, and helped me brainstorm other ways I could respond that were more aligned with my intention. These early conversations encouraged me to share the story with other friends, including non-NVC practitioners. As I recounted the story to more people, I received feedback that people were inspired to take a bystander training, witness arrests, and stay aware of ways they might intervene. It is my hope that this story will encourage others to act, to make mistakes, to learn, and to grow together. It is my hope it will support more freedom and peace in our world.

*If you are interested in learning more about the assimilation of Middle Eastern populations in the United States, I recommend John Tehranian’s Whitewashed: America’s Invisible Middle Eastern Minority.

[we-pay-for-everything]

Top 5 whedonverse characters

Oooh... I’m sorry but my answer will not be very creative. I’ve seen Angel, Buffy, Dollhouse, Firefly, Serenity, Much Ado About Nothing, the first Avengers movie... Still, even though I enjoyed all of it, I only truly cared about Angel and Buffy. But mostly Angel... Soooo:

1. Angel

Big shocker here! Angel is my favorite character ever. What can I say that I haven’t already said about him? Hmm...nothing... 

In a nutshell, Angel faces life bravely, always tries to be a better person, is complex, intelligent and kind. He lives as the world should be to prove what it can be, and even though he sometimes bullocks it all up, he keeps trying which is, naturally, the most admirable thing of all. 

2. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce

Oh Wesley... I’ve got to say that his death scene is my favorite. Sentimental but meaningful, original. It sort of sums up what makes Wesley such a compelling character, particularly from season 4 onward: Wesley’s actions, carefully thought out as they are, always backfire on him. In his pursuit for the truth, or justice, or simply to protect his friends, Wesley’s actions and choices are pointless, absurd. He helped fulfill a fake prophecy while endeavoring to do the opposite. 

He’s the character you mourn and always root for despite everything. Intelligent, kind and full of good intentions, life wrecks him and turns him into a bitter, hypocritical shell of who he used to be. His very death is pointless because he fails in his mission, but like Lilah says, “It means something you tried.”

3. Lilah Morgan

I love this bitch. Unapologetic, ruthless, witty, beautiful, resourceful, classy. intelligent, determined, genuine... Lilah is full of fake bravado, pretending that life is great even though the most you can say about Lilah’s life is that it’s hers and she worked hard for every single aspect of it. 

She’s not a happy character, or a good one. Yet, amidst the fake bravado, there’s real confidence. And even if she lies and manipulates, and pretends that being evil doesn’t cost her, she is honest in her life. She knows who she is, and doesn’t bother pretending to be better or worse than. 

4. Faith Lehane

I always have to make a distinction between BtVS Faith and AtS Faith. The one I love is the latter. Faith on Buffy is a dumbbed down, underused shell of AtS Faith. There’s a respect that the AtS writers have for this character that the BtVS ones don’t. 

Faith’s redemption arc on Angel is quite perfect. It starts with Angel saving Faith’s soul, a first for him, and turns into a beautiful friendship between two people trying to live with themselves and their actions, while making amends. When shown proper trust and care, Faith flourishes into a strong, smart, loyal person who shows forgiveness, understanding and compassion. 

5. Connor 

My poor underrated baby! 

Connor is very misunderstood but that usually happens with teenage characters. There seems to be a general lack of empathy when it comes to teens. Most of their emotions are dismissed and they are labelled as hormonal, or moody or emo. Connor’s anger, or lack of trust, are, not only completely understandable and human, but also traits Wesley possessed in seasons 4 and 5 (and Wesley is beloved contrarily to Connor).  

Connor’s instability and naivete reflect his turbulent upbringing. Holtz was, after all, a good man turned evil due to revenge, while Angel is exactly the opposite. Connor does have something in common with both of his fathers though. He’s a great demon hunter, he’s independent and resourceful, and he’s ultimately a good person who sometimes makes wrong choices. 

Stripped away of his childhood, Connor becomes a well adjusted, brave and sweet kid, as evidenced by season 5, but I like him in his entirety.

Thanks for the ask! Sorry for the lack of diversity. 

[animalsoffarmsanctuary]

Compassionate Alternatives: How One University Celebrates All We Can Accomplish When We Put Compassion First!

Following Winter Storm Stella, the animals and “humanimals” at Farm Sanctuary’s New York Shelter are eagerly anticipating the arrival of spring and the promise of warmer and brighter days ahead! While Watkins Glen, NY, is quite the winter wonderland these days, we’re definitely ready for a change of pace — a “spring break” from these dreary winter days, if you will. 

For many, this is a time of year to take a break from our busy lives, soak up some sun, and recharge our batteries — helping us return to our day-to-day lives with some extra pep in our step.

So it might surprise you, then, to learn that decidedly wintery Watkins Glen just so happens to be a spring break destination in its own right. 

Since 2010, students from Xavier University in Ohio have come to the sanctuary for an “alternative” spring break — an opportunity to give back to the community in a way that’s meaningful for them. And while Farm Sanctuary in March is not your typical warm spring break getaway, it nevertheless offers students a chance to learn, grow, and put their energies toward a good cause.

Last week, we welcomed this year’s group of compassionate Xavier students and their faculty team leader during their alternative break from university life.

Armed with curiosity, camaraderie, and compassion, the group members arrived with rakes in hand and smiles on their faces — excited to learn more about Farm Sanctuary’s rescue, education, and advocacy work and how they could make a difference.

As we shared last year, Xavier’s Alternative Break (AB) program is the most popular organization on campus — connecting hundreds of students with like-minded individuals each year, as they work together to support causes they believe in or want to learn more about.

This year’s group included representatives from a wide range of academic and professional backgrounds — occupational therapy, psychology, biology, English, public relations, advertising, health services, and campus police. 

At first glance, it might be difficult to determine how these very different concentrations relate to one another — or how mucking barns, building fences, and feeding farm animals might tie in with the group members’ long-term career goals. 

But what they would learn, and take back with them, is that we all have a role to play in fostering compassion — and together, we can each contribute our unique assets to truly make a difference.

And it all starts with celebrating the small victories — honoring every step of our compassionate journeys. As Farm Sanctuary President and Co-founder Gene Baur says, “We all start somewhere.” And every somewhere — every positive intention and effort — deserves to be recognized and valued for its potential to change even one life for the better. 

“We’ve definitely brought this topic up a lot within our group during our reflections,” says student leader Allie Matuzak. “When we were talking to Gene [during a Q&A teleconference with the alternative break group and Farm Sanctuary interns], I asked him, ‘How do you cope with the frustration that you face with people who make [veganism] into a joke or disregard [your choices]?’ And he said something that really resonated with me: ‘Just focus on the small positives and building the bridges from there.’ That meant a lot to me because through the education through this entire trip, I’ve just been so frustrated with the ignorance of others. And it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but just that people are unaware. And it makes me so angry sometimes. So even making the small changes, and maybe just talking to one single person about it [can make a difference].”

For most of the group, veganism was brand-new territory. A few participants were vegan or vegetarian, and the majority were “veg-curious.” What they all had in common, though, was a desire to learn more about what an animal-friendly lifestyle entailed, and a commitment to making more conscious decisions that they could feel good about.

The group had agreed to follow a vegan diet while living and working onsite, out of respect for the animals who call Farm Sanctuary home. 

For many, this was a unique opportunity to align their actions with their compassionate values in new ways, and to deepen their grasp on how interconnected we all truly are.

As with any change, there is strength in numbers; it’s often easier and more fulfilling to establish community — to support and challenge each other and grow together. 

The alternative break group was no exception. From pre-trip meetings to discussions with past participants, the group took comfort in knowing that they were in this experience together — and that the journey could be something they'd continue to grow with even after the trip.

“Julia [from last year’s Xavier group] provided us with a meal plan for this trip, which was really beneficial,” Allie says. “It allowed us more time for education as opposed to meal planning. She definitely influenced me to go on this trip, especially. She was telling me about her experience last year and how influential it was, and how she’s still vegan today because of it. It really changed her life, and I’m a big animal lover so I was really interested. But I was also a very large meat eater prior to this whole experience. And so I think it has definitely changed my life. I’m interested to see where it goes afterwards.”

As the week progressed, many were impressed with how versatile a vegan lifestyle can be. For example, they learned how delicious and fulfilling compassionate alternatives to animal products can be, and felt more empowered about incorporating simple changes into their everyday lives. And even those who already identified as vegan or vegetarian realized that there is so much we may continue to learn about ourselves — and those around us — when we put compassion first.

The students expected work on the farm to be physically challenging at the very least. What many say they found surprising, however, was that the experience also stretched their comfort zones emotionally and intellectually, helping them develop a deeper understanding of the connections we all share. And while sanctuary work is rarely glamorous — especially during these dreary winter days — the group realized that the end result was greater than just preparing a clean barn. 

On the surface, the students’ day-to-day activities helped them understand and appreciate everything that goes into Farm Sanctuary life — teaching them how a little kindness can go a long way. 

“We primarily did a lot of barn work that the farm assistants and interns do,” says group member Tyler Penny. “It was nice because we were able to see in their faces that we were really helping them. I was [also] really surprised by the attention to detail — it’s incredible to see the dedication that [shelter staff] has to make each enclosure as perfect and clean as it can be. And it was challenging, but also really rewarding.”

“I expected to be educated…and do some work [on the sanctuary],” participant Danny Schwartz recalls of his thoughts going into the experience. “Not to get so connected to the animals even while working, not only just during sanctuary time. It was an awesome surprise to learn more about [the animals’] social behaviors … the cliques that animals have, the way the feel empathy and emotions. I didn’t expect for [the trip] to have that kind of effect.”

“I would say that a lot of times when you think of a mission trip, you always think of going and helping your own,” says group member Laura Forero. “But it’s been so rewarding to help these animals. Working with these farm aides and these interns — it’s not about them, it’s about the animals and all the focus is on them.”

Over the course of the week, the group learned about the cruelty and disregard that farm animals routinely experience on factory farms and other systems that benefit from their exploitation — but they also discovered that every animal is someone, not something, each with an innate desire to live. In this way, the group learned how fulfilling it can be to acknowledge the world through the eyes of another. 

“As far as career goals go, I want to work in nonprofit when I graduate,” Danny says. “A big thing with nonprofit [work] is giving a voice to people who can’t speak for themselves. It was cool seeing it from this angle because they really are voiceless unless people are there to help them.”

“I was also definitely impacted,” Laura adds. “Being in PR, you can pick any industry you want, really. It’s exciting to know that it’s possible for me — and it makes me think that we can do a lot in terms of advocacy. I don’t see myself not, at one point, working for an organization like Farm Sanctuary. Ideally, we can grow to be the first generation that brings this topic to light, even if it’s not comfortable or easy to talk about.”

Going forward, the Xavier alternative break group members say they’re excited to apply what they learned during their Farm Sanctuary experience to their everyday lives — to make more conscious choices and spread compassion in ways that resonate with them. 

“I don’t know a single person I’ve talked to that’s gone on this trip in past years that isn’t still experiencing the impact today,” says student leader Maddie Wallace. “All kept saying, at the very least, they’re still extremely conscientious about what they eat, and a lot of them are still vegan (or at least half-vegetarian).

“I would say don’t be afraid to talk about the issue too,” Maddie adds. “This issue’s got a fair amount of stigma attached to it because of how culturally ingrained eating meat is. But talking about it’s going to normalize the understanding that what we’re doing to the animals in our country is cruel and unacceptable. The more you talk about it, the more awareness there is and the more you can grow.”

We’re so thankful for the Xavier alternative break group’s invaluable help, and excited to see where their compassionate journeys take them! A compassionate world begins with each of us — and we can each make a difference, one person at a time.

[sharionpage]

How to Deal With the Stress of Holidays and Special Occasions

The Self Improvement Blog | Self Esteem | Self Confidence

Typically, special times of the year like the holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries are supposed to be filled with happiness, contentment, and feelings of love and thankfulness. However, these occasions can also be difficult to deal with when you are struggling with difficult personal matters like anxiety, depression, or even issues like addiction. Sometimes it’s hard to deal with the stress of these holidays and special occasions. 

It’s easy to fall deeper and deeper into a dark place when you feel stressed or guilty when special occasions arrive — as if you aren’t  meeting others’ expectations. However, it’s important to remember that there are many meaningful ways to celebrate with your loved ones throughout the year (without overwhelming yourself).

In order to start enjoying life’s special moments again, it’s time to start working towards a healthier, happier you. Here are some ideas to get you started:

Strike a Balance

Finding the right balance between stress and mindfulness is naturally easier said than done. However, when the holidays roll around (or during summertime, when it seems as though everyone has a birthday), taking the right measures to keep your mind and body-centered, while also keeping up with your obligations will be essential.

Whether it’s Valentine’s Day or Thanksgiving, the holidays can quickly turn stressful and frantic. This can be wearing on your already cluttered mind and lead to an array of overwhelming emotions. However, it is possible to maintain your sanity and health while still checking off all the boxes on your to-do list.

In order to stay balanced during the holidays throughout the year, those at Apartment Living recommend:

Keeping it simple. It can be tempting to go overboard with gifts, parties, and dinners when it comes to birthdays and holidays. However, sticking to the basics can help ensure you aren’t overwhelmed and can actually enjoy yourself at said gatherings. Moreover, having a simple menu and decor will keep the focus on the time spent with loved ones conversing and laughing, rather than all the (unnecessary) money and time spent on an over-the-top party.

Accepting a helping hand. Another temptation is to reject offers of help from friends and families when you’re hosting a special occasion. However, most people are willing, if not eager, to help with those small tasks on your list. Furthermore, you can (and should) utilize the unique talents your guests have, whether they’re the crafty type or have an eye for decor. It might feel like a burden, but most people actually like to be involved; it will also help reduce your workload, allowing you to truly savor the party.

Setting aside some you-time. While the holidays tend to focus on giving to others, it doesn’t mean you have to completely forget about yourself in the process. If anything, self-care during the holidays is essential! Putting aside time to do your favorite holiday activity — watching your favorite movies or paying a little extra for relaxing massage — can help you manage your stress better. If you take care of yourself first, you’ll have more time and energy for others.

Granted, some pressure is okay and totally normal, but don’t overwhelm yourself to the point of feeling disconnected from your special occasions. These moments are all about making memories, forming bonds, and enjoying each other’s company, so don’t let stress stand in the way of that.

Reduce Stress, Cherish Love

Another occasion that tends to be overwhelming is anniversaries. Whether you and your significant other have been together 3 years or 30 years, celebrating your anniversary is one way to commemorate the love and happiness throughout your relationship (while looking forward to the future). With that being said, figuring out the best way to celebrate each milestone can quickly become stressful, and the pressure to really wow your S.O. can actually make you lose sight of the reason behind the occasion.

The best way to cope with these kinds of anxieties is to remember one key factor: You know your partner best! As some anniversary experts explain, “Whether you go with an experience or a tangible gift … You know your partner better than anyone else, and you will be able to match the gift or experience to their unique personality and style.” They also go on to add that, “There is truly nothing wrong with asking, openly, what your S.O. wants or prefers in a gift. The idea that you must intuit your partner’s every wish or whim is difficult to live up to; asking and listening to your partner demonstrates good communication, and that you want to make them happy.”

While you might be struggling with the chaos within your life, remember that your partner has always been a loyal and supportive ally in your life — and they always will be. It’s not worth stressing over the finer details when it comes to your anniversary. Instead, work towards simply celebrating the connection and love between you and your partner.

Acknowledge the Struggles (Don’t Ignore Them)

Sometimes the anxieties surrounding special occasions don’t stem from the stress of gifts and events, but from matters involving estrangement, loss of a loved one, or addiction. These kinds of personal troubles and heartbreak can make the holidays and anniversaries even harder to cope with. Nothing can take away the pain from these circumstances, but there are some ways to ease it. It will require a lot of strength and processing, but sometimes we have to acknowledge that there are things out of our control.

Working with our emotions takes time and patience, especially around special occasions. However, as A Better Today Recovery Services aptly puts it, “we do not have the power to control the outcomes of our situations, nor do we have the power to control decisions made by others. Therefore, it is best that we live, taking optimal care of ourselves, and let live … To live and let live allows us to help our loved ones find joy amongst the painful emotions … It allows us to treat ourselves, as well as one another with the love, compassion, and empathy we all need.”

Of course managing all of the stress, grief, and pain can feel overwhelming at times, sometimes impossible. However, it’s crucial to remember that these situations shouldn’t strip you of all happiness. Finding things — people, places, moments — to be thankful for can turn an otherwise solemn occasion into a reflective, calming, and hopefully happier one.

When you look back on your life, will you want to remember the exhausting stress of throwing the perfect birthday party? Or spending way too much money on expensive, fancy gifts? Or will you want to remember the precious memories you made with good friends and loved ones? Stress might be inevitable during the holidays and other special occasions, but finding your zen amid the chaos can help ensure you’ll look back on these moments fondly.

About the Author

Magnolia Potter is from the Pacific Northwest and writes from time to time. She prefers to cover a variety of topics and not just settle on one. When Magnolia’s not writing, you can find her outdoors or curled up with a good book. Chat with her on Twitter @MuggleMagnolia.

How to Deal With the Stress of Holidays and Special Occasions published first on https://bitspiritspace.tumblr.com/

[ourzentasmicharmony-blog]

Giving the Elbow to Moral Outrage

The following perspective has grown out of email exchanges with a friend as we communicated how we’ve been experiencing the current political landscape. What has it brought up in (and out of) us? How are we showing up to the issues and to our feelings about them? How are we showing up to others? How are we navigating the stormy seas of discord? Are we practicing self-care? Are we practicing compassion? In the “age of moral outrage,” how can we have meaningful exchanges with others on the “opposite side” of an issue?

Such written exchanges allow me to explore patterns in how we engage with others, especially on social media. Perhaps exchanges on social media are so often framed by such adversarial, “either/or” thinking (especially those of a “political” nature) because of the new frequency at which we gut-check the information bombarding us from everywhere, and measuring countless issues against our own moral compass, pointing towards our northern star, aligning our actions with our beliefs. “This is right, that is wrong. Therefore, I will do this, but I won’t do that. I admire this, but abhor that.” (And how many of these countless issues really count as meaningful and worthy of all the energy spent on them?)

Gut-checks on such issues can happen instantaneously, and by extension, so too can our judgment of others, especially of those who don’t see things as we do. How quickly, especially on social media, do we extend our judgment well beyond events and issues and onto other people, many of whom we know quite well? How swiftly and carelessly do we throw about labels, not just to describe or categorize things, but to define fellow humans, and end up judging each other? When we instantly judge the other, is it done with consideration of the values and experiences of the individual, or only by considering our own values and experiences, and our assumptions of the people who hold such different views? How often do we negate others with our judgments? With our speaking? With our actions? And not just negate their opinions on a matter, but negate their beliefs, their experiences, their very existence?  

Have we allowed our anger and fear over the dehumanizing of certain groups by other groups, to blind us to our own growing intolerance? Are we allowing ourselves to become intolerant of not just certain ideas, or the dehumanizing ideas promoted by specific groups of people, but of people themselves? Aren’t we showing an intolerance towards individuals, friends as well as strangers, and thereby creating foes, each time we show up to a showdown of words on social media, raining bullets all around us, and wounding others, even as we denounce such intolerance?

What are the consequences of negating the experiences and feelings of others? Of excluding the opinions and voices of those who place a different value on things than we do? (Have we forgotten that holding a different value is not equivalent to seeing no value at all in something? So why must we react as such?) What happens to our society when we cannot tolerate even hearing out the thoughts of someone with a different perspective? What does it cost us to hear them out? What does it cost us when we don’t? How do we communicate through such a sharp “political divide,” without sharpening our own weapons and brandishing them with moral superiority as soon as we’re baited? (And doesn’t our growing intolerance just provide people who disagree with our views greater opportunities to slap the label of “hypocrite” on us, and completely negate us? 

Is it even possible for us to experience civil discourse and truly discuss an issue through a real exchange of ideas anymore? I believe the answer to that question is a resounding yes. Yes, and it may not be easy, but it is possible. Yes, and it starts with taking personal responsibility. Yes, and I can begin with small steps. Yes, and it will take me responding to others in ways I’m not yet practiced. Yes, and I can show up to others in new ways to create this experience for myself and others. Yes, and it will take more effort, but I believe it is worth it!

To begin the shift towards creating a different experience, I’ve increasingly turned towards searching for the shades of grey in the issues that seem to be only “black or white.” Shifting away from declarations and pronouncements and towards curiosity and offerings, I’m taking small steps towards “the other” with less judgment and more compassion as I practice “the nudge” towards more common ground.

Elbowing with Empathy

The following is an example of how I show up on social media with small, shaky steps towards keeping judgment on the issues, not the people. A dear cousin of mine, who believes we should “free our minds” from what the media dictates (an opinion we share), posted an article on Facebook about media bias, (which pointed out to me some things about our own biases, including where and how they differ.) News stories posted by this cousin are most often from media sources with a conservative bias, ranging from slight to extreme bias. The article she shared in this example came from a site that is categorized as having “moderate to strong bias” by mediabiasfactcheck.com. Commenting in the manner I did below, I attempted to engage someone who holds a different view of what is considered “untrustworthy media” with a nudge rather than pounding my views on her like a sledgehammer. The screenshot below shows the article she shared and my original comment on it.

Could I have phrased it differently or even posed it as a question or two or five? Yes. And had I done so, maybe her response to my comment would have been different. But this is the phrasing I used. And the immediate response by my loved one was a typical initial reaction, aimed to elicit a particular response through the use of baited phrasing (and almost all of us have done it in some form or another…)

But is her question the most pressing one to ask here? A few things caught my eye that made me think not…

Now I’m no expert on Congress, but I’m tuned in enough that I’m familiar with commonly known committees and I didn’t recognize the name “House Media Fairness Caucus.” (Of course, that’s because a caucus is not a formal committee, even though it sounds like one. It is an informal organization of Congressional members to discuss issues of mutual concern.) So, I clearly needed to learn more about this caucus, whose leaders have just stated (according to this post) that “the depth of bias by broadcast networks is putting the nation’s democracy at risk,” as was documented by this Media Research Center. (And that phrase sounds, well, alarming, doesn’t it?)  Of course, I’d learn more about this caucus before commenting about it on my cousin’s FB page, as well as learn about what the Media Research Center is (never heard of that one before either.) But first, I’d need to find out more about “CNS News” site to decide for myself how credible all this information really was.

Side note: After some basic research, here’s what I learned about the House Media Fairness Caucus: it was formed by “a dozen Republican members of Congress” in 2009 led by Lamar Smith (TX), and currently co-chaired by Smith and Alex Mooney (VA); and its purpose, as stated on Congressman Smith’s official house.gov page, is to “encourage the media to adhere to the highest standards of their profession, and to provide the American people with the facts, not tell them what to think.” Interesting though, that the source of this article posted by my cousin comes directly from the blog page of the Media Research Center. Yes indeed, that is the very organization that generated this “alarming proof” in the first place! How can that be?! Because “CNS News” is not a news source that adheres to the standards of journalism and its code of ethics. No, “CNS News” is really…(and yes, the following quote comes directly from their site…) “NewsBusters.org: a project of the Media Research Center, America’s leading media watchdog in documenting, exposing and neutralizing liberal news bias.” (My, what a gift this harmless, little writing project is, coming directly to me on Facebook from someone I love and trust, all wrapped up in a pretty bow of provocatively misleading phrases! I sure am glad this project adheres to such high standards, [whose standards?!] presenting us with facts rather than telling us what to think! Wait a minute... on second thought [can we have those?] this piece does seem to be trying to tell me what to think…Oh well, it’s not a liberal bias after all, so it’s all good!) I wonder no more about why this caucus was a new one on me as it seems to be the Congressional equivalent of a PTA meeting, only with fewer people…Ooops! I’m afraid this side note has shown more than just my sarcastic wit, but also my liberal bias! Oh dear…let me see if I can ever find my way back to my point…did I ever even have one?! (I’m such a flaky little snowflake…)

WWLD?

Of course, I have several points, and here’s my next one: just like the character Leo McGarry from The West Wing, I did not accept the premise of her question. Instead of following my cousin’s question to a place upon which she was ready to go (locked and loaded,) my next response was based in evidence that speaks to her belief in not allowing media to dictate one’s opinions. Why look at that, common ground, in a lovely shade of grey! (Until I’m struck down by the flick of an evil, magic wand for including the phrase “based in evidence.” Even so, I’d rather focus on this beautiful shade of grey, than shades of idiocracy.) Since this belief is also a part of the image reflected on her FB page, it left my cousin without a strong “push-back” towards me that squares with that image. Besides, she loves and respects me, so that is where she left it… But alas, a new voice chimed in!

There it is, right on cue, a friend who likely gathers his information from the same sources as my cousin, chimes in to show the opposition what’s what. How fun, new bait!  

BTW: I found his comment quite comical in its irony, and literally laughed out loud. (You’re about to get the joke too, I promise.) Apparently, I didn’t provide him with a sufficient reaction because when I laughed instead of biting, he didn’t laugh along, he just dangled juicier, more personal bait my way...

Yes, yes, I got a little “cheeky” there, but I wasn’t angry and hey, teachers like to have fun too! We get offered this kind of bait (in multiples) on the daily...

And that’s where this exchange ended. I didn’t hear back again on this matter from my cousin, nor her friend. There were many possibilities as to how this exchange could have gone. (Including no exchange at all, just judgmental silence on my part.) Yes, I could have done it better. And I could’ve done a lot worse too, including some damage to a treasured relationship with my cousin. Did I “win over opponents” to my “side”? Ha! As if that’s the point here! However, I believe I did achieve my goal of engaging someone who holds a different view from mine and did so in a different way – using a bit of a nudge without any moral outrage. I know, I didn’t achieve a true exchange of ideas, either. Yes, that is true. And communication did not devolve into a “tit for tat” match either, and this may all be part of laying the groundwork to get there. (There is no “one and done” in these exchanges. Just like good parenting and teaching of kids, it’s all about consistency.) No, I didn’t win over any friends either, even after sending him a “winky-face” while refraining from name-calling! (C’mon, that deserves a medal! I am a Snowflake after all, so I should at least get my participation trophy, right?) 

Seriously though, I also just may have influenced people too. Don’t know for sure, but since they both dropped the baiting tactics, let’s consider that a small victory on the road towards more compassionate communication, and keep traveling a more peaceful path. Because, well let’s get real here: neither “side” of any of these adversarial exchanges on social media are productive in the powers of persuasion. No matter how logically sound, or cleverly phrased an argument is, it’s still argument. How can we ever get to true civil discourse if all we’re doing is lobbing grenades at one another? We’ll even pick up grenades thrown at us and just lob them right back. Now is not the time of showing how right or how clever we are. It only looks ridiculous to the “other side” anyway. What is needed now is to use our words to build bridges across the divide and build relationships. With every exchange, express a little empathy. Sometimes all that takes is to lay down an assumption and get a little curious. So ask questions. What makes you say that? Why do you feel that way? What experience do you have with this? What information do you have that I don’t....

Bottom line: I’m not saying, “Why don’t we all just play nice?” because who cares about nice when everything else is falling apart?! Maybe we’ve “played nice” for too long already, with lots of judgmental silence just hanging in the air like odorless poison. Maybe now it’s time to get a little dirty, not with trickery, fraud, or even our cleverness, but in getting a little more comfortable with the uncomfortable. Let’s not wait another moment for “the other side” to change their minds. Let’s not wait another moment to reach out across the divide looking for allies instead of adversaries. Let’s not wait another moment to add more empathy, however awkwardly, into our “fierce conversations.” Let’s speak truth to power, and to each other, and temper it all with compassion. Perhaps if enough of us make such a shift even in small ways, we’ll all reap some benefits. Maybe just a little shake up in how we engage one another in each interaction, is the beginning of ensuring we’ll all come out of this time of divisiveness as a more united people. As more tolerant and understanding people. Maybe we are the ones we’ve been waiting for to ameliorate our collective wounds. Who knows? Anything is possible in world framed by Yes, and…

 Love & Peace,

 Z Harmony        January 4, 2018

[phynxrizng]

NEW MOON IN SCORPIO, INSIGHT AND HOROSCOPES

New Moon Breakthrough

a message from Selacia To read more of Selacia's insight, please visit her website, Selacia and the Council of 12 This week with its New Moon is an opportunity for a significant personal breakthrough. Consider now specifically what you would like to shift and what your ideal outcome looks like. Continue reading for suggestions of how to tap into the energies for beneficial breakthroughs and how to focus your mind for optimal results.

With so much going on in your external world, it's easy to lose sight of your personal goals and your larger soul mission for being alive now. It's essential, however, to regularly come back to yourself and refocus your energies.

New Moon Opportunity This is especially true now during the New Moon opportunity window. What's needed is to be present to the opportunity for breakthroughs, and focus on what you want to create on a very personal level. As mentioned, do this with specifics in mind -rather than intending you have a great job or happy relationship, intend the specifics of what it looks like and feels like. And, of course, visualize yourself in the picture.

Intend now that you will rise above the tendency to get so caught up in outer world dramas and the annual holiday rush that you neglect your inner self and personal path.

You are not meant to be living on automatic, simply going from one experience to the next. Even though it's in your conditioning to live on the surface - letting circumstances carry you to the next situation - this is not your authentic way of relating to this life experience. To be authentic, you must strive to be present to each moment and situation. This means being consciously at choice and considering the ramifications of choices before making them.

The more that you can do this, the greater your abundance and the happier you will be.

Mercury Retrograde Shadow Since we now sit in the beginning of the Mercury Retrograde shadow phase, factor into your plans the need to take care of things like technology backups and contract signing ahead of the actual retrograde. Travel plans you make now may go more smoothly than if you wait to book during the Mercury Retrograde December 2/3-22.

Letting Go to Be Free This Scorpio New Moon is a perfect time for renewal, reflection, regeneration, and revitalization. The energies also support being able to put a magnifying glass on thorny issues that you haven't been able to resolve. This can help you to see what you didn't see before. Also, importantly, it can help you in accessing buried feelings that need to come to the surface before breakthroughs occur. As you let go of these old energies and feelings, you can be free.

During internal process on your own and with others you trust to work with you on the deeper levels, you can take a very big leap in these moments.

DNA Akashic Records Keep in mind that many of the seemingly immovable obstacles have roots in the past. These could be ancestral, your early life, or even past lives. These can be accessed and addressed within your DNA akashic records. A general energy guideline for accessing the deep buried roots is this: you must have on some level invited the deeper look, you are ready, and the timing is right.

Another part of the New Moon energy opportunity is having flashes of helpful insight about your current life and path ahead. You also may discover that a doorway opens for meeting new people, creating new business partnerships, and having closure with a loved one on the other side. I mention this here because already this month in my 1-1 DNA sessions, clients are receiving messages from departed loved ones - helping with understanding and an ability to let go of hurts and misunderstandings. This alone can be one of the most powerful breakthroughs right now.

Wherever you are in your process now, give yourself the gift of space and presence during this New Moon gateway. Invite a knowing of how you can utilize it in the highest way. Ask your Higher Self to give you clues and also help you in the dream state over the next few days - bringing to your conscious awareness what you need to know.

Trust that in the truest sense, you are never really stuck or blocked. It can feel like that with some issues, yet that's because you haven't yet accessed the deepest roots that need to come to light. Know that this is a process, and in the divine orchestration of things, you will see what's hidden so you can address it and be free.

New Moon in Scorpio: Claim Your Power Read your sign's horoscope for the New Moon in Scorpio now

By Tarot.com Staff

Videos, Scorpio, New Moon, Horoscopes, Astrology

The New Moon in smoldering Scorpio on November 18 sets a dramatic stage for an epic battle between resistance and metamorphosis. The struggle is real, as co-stars (and co-ruling planets of Scorpio) Mars and Pluto square off at the start of this new lunar cycle, intensifying feelings, provoking battles, and triggering ultimatums on global and personal fronts. Mystery and magic hang intoxicatingly heavy in the air at this New Moon, but suspicion, jealousy, and revenge are lurking in the shadows.

Four planets conspiring in the watery realms of Scorpio leave little solid ground to stand on now, prompting the fainthearted to run for the hills. But thanks to a trine from intuitive Chiron in Pisces, this transformational lunation offers limitless potential for healing and growth. The trick is to stop resisting change and instead consciously choose to evolve. The process isn't pretty, but the possibilities are endless if compassion wins out over fear: painful secrets acknowledged, hearts softened, relationships repaired, trust rebuilt, and faith in humanity restored. Resist at your own risk

The current planetary intensity can be both empowering and overwhelming -- and it's only human to consider hiding or escaping as a viable option if you hope to avoid drama or sidestep emotional displays. The problem is you can only run for so long, and feelings have a way of catching up with you when you least expect it. Your heart is traveling the seas of seduction and subjectivity now, and you can either decide to go with the flow or you can refuse to swim. But one thing is certain: denial and repression only amplify the power of your buried truth. Whatever is hidden may remain hidden, but secrecy comes with a cost. Isolation keeps you safe but not satisfied. Walls do not let love in. The call of the phoenix

Shining the light of truth into the dark corners of your subconscious can act as a cathartic emotional detoxification, especially if you acquire awareness and forgiveness on this journey into your soul. Go deep-diving in uncharted waters, exploring all the caves and crevices; face the monsters and angels you encounter with courage and curiosity. Embrace your frailties, fears, and frustrations as you let your feelings wash over you, and give yourself permission and the privacy to cry or scream until you run dry. Confronting your pain opens the doorway to true healing. At the risk of mixing elemental metaphors, you can't rise from the ashes without a fire.

Remember to be kind to yourself and others, especially when experiencing emotional extremes. Moods are temporary, but your actions and words are permanent. Keep your lifejacket on near this New Moon as a tidal wave of self-analysis can send you down a detour of obsession or self-pity if you forget that your desired destination is personal evolution. The secret is knowing when it's time to return to the rational realms. Spiritual exploration can be life-altering, but only if you utilize what you learn. Here is a list of potential ideas to get you started on your Scorpio New Moon transformation. Pick one or more to use for your meditation focus or daily affirmation. Make your own list as an exercise to discover what you want to change in your world. Manifestation begins in the mind. 11 New Moon transformations: - Transform apathy into empathy - Transform ignorance into knowledge - Transform anger into ambition - Transform fear into curiosity - Transform greed into generosity - Transform vulnerability into strength - Transform hate into love - Transform pain into compassion - Transform sadness into gratitude - Transform regret into forgiveness - Transform dreams into action

Tarot.com is Part of the Daily Insight Group ©2017

New Moon Tools

Tarot card for this New Moon: Ace of Cups

New beginnings, emotional realization, & spiritual opportunity Crystals for this New Moon: Aquarmarine (pictured): aids in emotional exploration and encourages spiritual awareness, compassion, and speaking from the heart

Covellite: offers courage and intuition while exploring the shadows of personal mysteries and healing old wounds

Moldavite: a tektite that facilitates transformation and growth

Tarot.com is Part of the Daily Insight Group ©2017

Your New Moon in Scorpio Horoscopes

By Tarot.com Staff

This passionate Scorpio New Moon offers a not-so-gentle push toward self-examination and personal regeneration. Plant your seeds of intention provided below and then commit every cell of your being to the process of change. Read your sign's horoscope now: Aries Horoscope (March 21 - April 19)

The pull of freedom tugs at you like a kite in the wind at this New Moon, but your heart can't deny the importance of relationships to your current happiness. You might use anger as a weapon to keep others at a distance, and perhaps it is safer to stay out of the path of your wrath now. Unfortunately, breathing fire at anyone who cares enough to stick around to see if they can help is a self-sabotaging strategy. Stop allowing your fear of intimacy and all its perceived trappings to stand in the way of more meaningful connections. Revealing a secret or a dream enables you to test the emotional waters without getting too wet. Your seeds to plant: vulnerability and compassion Taurus Horoscope (April 20 - May 20)

It may seem as if the feelings of others are hijacking your plans for the future, but the truth is someone is likely acting as a reflection of you now. You are the first to admit you are not a big fan of swimming in the emotional deep end, especially when a crowd is watching. At this New Moon in Scorpio, drop your stoicism and ask for help if you need it. You don't have to do anything scary on your own when you have a solid support system in place. Resistance is a waste of energy when there is so much positive change waiting for your embrace. Your seeds to plant: trust and faith Gemini Horoscope (May 21 - June 20)

Asking a simple question seems like a harrowing challenge around this New Moon as drama simmers just below the surface. You want nothing more than to dance around the tension and keep everyone laughing, but someone may push you over the edge if you remain unwilling to examine your feelings. Reassess your current rituals, routines, and risks to discover where improvements need to be made. Your work is your saving grace as it brings stability and structure to your world. Your seed to plant: healthy patterns Cancer Horoscope (June 21 - July 22)

You are the most content when you can wear your heart on your sleeve without any hesitation. Demonstrating your affection in a myriad of ways brings you oodles of personal joy at this New Moon in Scorpio. Serenade a lover, paint your feelings, or write a poem for a friend. Expressing your feelings is so much fun you might not notice if you cross the line dividing reality and illusion. Your willingness to show up for others is beautiful, but make sure you feed your insatiable craving for spontaneity and adventure too. Your seed to plant: creative courage Leo Horoscope (July 23 - Aug. 22)

No one performs better than you in front of an audience, leaving the crowd chanting for more. But your star power feels disappointingly too weak to engage in the complex emotional drama of this New Moon, and you need to return to your roots for a regenerative boost. Set aside your infamous pride and dig deep to uncover your true feelings. Opening old wounds is easier to do in the company of someone who knows you well. Reveal what is hidden to find the prescription to your future happiness. Your seed to plant: emotional authenticity Virgo Horoscope (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22)

You feel slightly trapped by everyone's incessant need to talk about their feelings around this New Moon. You're clearly unhappy with the emotional noise infiltrating your bandwidth and postponing your productivity. You can run from the intensity, but you can't hide from your own heart. If you delay that relationship conversation now, you might sadly regret it later. Stop complaining about the irrational logistics of love and listen carefully when others speak their truth. Mastering the fine art of negotiation and compromise is key to creating partnerships that last. Your seed to plant: consistent communication Libra Horoscope (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22)

Your natural admiration for aesthetics often crosses over into the beauty you see in others. Your affinity for peace leaves you feeling overwhelmed in times of change, and you tend to be uncomfortable with any emotional messiness, especially if it involves you. You may try to deflect the painful issues by focusing on material possessions or financial gains, but money can't buy you love or heal your heart. Look in the mirror of your relationships to see where you lost your way. Your confidence rebounds when you align your actions with your intentions. Your seed to plant: own your feelings Scorpio Horoscope (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21)

You are tapping into a vast pool of emotional energy at this New Moon in your sign, inspiring you to dance with all the colors in a wide spectrum of possibilities. Your intuition is plugged into a cosmic connection and your insights are otherworldly as you strive to create a personal masterpiece. A complete metamorphosis is occurring, but you must keep learning and growing during the process. Resisting change is natural with your Fixed nature but you will only impede your destiny. This kind of rebirthing takes time, but the beautiful butterfly you will become requires trusting the process. Your seed to plant: personal evolution Sagittarius Horoscope (Nov. 22 -Dec. 21)

You might try to convince anyone who will listen that emotions are overrated and it's actions that really count. Your strategy is to brush off any pain or regret with laughter and a philosophical shrug. But burying your feelings or cavalierly tossing your hopes aside will only cause wounds to fester below the surface now. Explore your personal history and search your dreams for clues to your pain. Reflective solitude is key to learning the lessons of your past, but practicing compassion opens the doorway to healing your heart. Your seeds to plant: kindness and forgiveness Capricorn Horoscope (Dec. 22 -Jan. 19)

Your spiritual foundation is a source of strength near this New Moon as you re-examine your place in the community. There is a practical purpose to your soul-searching as you ask yourself some difficult questions. What compensation do you receive from others versus the goods you supply in return? Does it feel like an energetically fair and equitable exchange? Whether you end up renegotiating an arrangement or renewing it without any fuss can only be answered with honest dialogue and serious consideration. Power struggles are unnecessary when everyone agrees to play by the same rules. Your seeds to plant: integrity and awareness Aquarius Horoscope (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18)

Your professional ambitions are pushing you to excel at every endeavor you undertake, casting you in a favorable light in the public eye. Destiny is calling at this New Moon in Scorpio, and it's your turn to step into a leadership role. Letting go of any conflicting illusions and preconceived assumptions regarding personal prosperity enables you to make money doing what your heart loves. You don't have to suffer to follow your dreams, but you do need to passionately believe in the intrinsic value of your work. Your seed to plant: unwavering confidence Pisces Horoscope (Feb. 19 - March 20)

More, more, more is the song playing on your intergalactic radio at this New Moon, and you can't help but turn up the volume as you hum along. You are passionate to the nth degree as you envision all the potential places you wish to explore and all the knowledge you hope to acquire. Your outrageously amazing ideas are overwhelming to everyone except you now, as you work on manifesting your dreams in your future reality. Wandering off on an emotional journey could take you down an unexpected path of healing, so there's no need to worry if you forget your map. Your seed to plant: infinite possibilities

Content written by Morgan Friday

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This Weekend's Love Horoscope: It's Complicated Your love horoscope for the weekend of November 17-19

By Tarot.com Staff

Love, Horoscopes, Astrology

Your head and heart are buzzing this weekend! On Friday Mercury will be at a positive angle to Mars, which is currently in Libra, the sign of relationships. You can see possibilities for your love life now that you may have been unable to see before. With a little hope and self-reflection, you have an opportunity to overcome old patterns or and find new hope for the future of your love life.

The power to make changes gets even stronger on Saturday, when the New Moon happens in Scorpio, the sign of deep reflection, intimacy, and transformation. This is an incredible time to delve into your own feelings about love and what you give to and receive from others. The New Moon represents the beginning of a fresh cycle, and gives you the chance to see yourself and your love life from a new perspective. Just don't let the Moon's irritating run-in with Uranus take over your feelings! Allow the fierce and calculating energy of Scorpio to flow through you and keep you focused.

On Sunday, Mars butts heads with Pluto, the planet of power and control. You may get roped into a power struggle or stalemate with your lover that makes you feel frustrated or stuck. You may even feel that the positive changes you have just been inspired to make hit an immediate wall. The best way to overcome conflict is to be open and communicate the changes you want to see happen in your relationships. The Moon has moved into Sagittarius by Sunday, and if you embrace the optimism and hope of this sign, you can drive away from problems and toward solutions.

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Scorpio Love Compatibility: Intense, Jealous, and Magnetic Calculate the romantic potential of each zodiac sign with Scorpio

By Tarot.com Staff

Scorpio, Love, Compatibility

As a deeply emotional and passionate sign, your ideal partnership is with a fellow Water sign who can match your intense levels of intimacy. Sensitive Water signs like Pisces has the depth to nurture your soul, while frustrating Fire types like Leo will make you feel out of control. Scorpio and Aries

With such passion in each of your signs, it seems like Aries and Scorpio would make a good match. You both have a great deal of willpower and courage, but there are differences. You deal with powerful emotions by holding them in. Rams, on the other hand, have a shorter fuse and are prone to big explosions and fits of impatience. Aries' short temper and your resentful and sometimes unforgiving personality can mix like oil and water. The good news? All of that intensity you both feel will make for red-hot desire ... when you're not fighting.

Scorpio and Taurus

Taurus is secure and dependable, and you'll be happy to have someone who is so trustworthy. Bulls are your exact opposite zodiac sign, and in this case, opposites really do attract. While some signs are scared off by your intense emotions, this sign loves to be on the receiving end of them. The two of you spoil each other and enjoy it. All is not hearts and rainbows between you two, though. You both want the upper hand in the relationship. When power struggles inevitably happen, you both make worthy adversaries, and the resulting emotional meltdown will not be pretty. Scorpio and Gemini

While Gemini is fascinated by a trail of hot, bubbling lava, you want to know what's fueling the volcano. Brainy Geminis appreciate your thirst for knowledge, and they'll enjoy sharing ideas and debating issues with you ... until they realize they'll never win. It's not that you're smarter, it's that they're no match for your intensity. In fact, you just may scare the heck out of them. You just may be too serious for a flighty Gemini, and they might be too flirtatious for a jealous Scorpio. Making this relationship work won't be easy. Scorpio and Cancer

Scorpio and Cancer are both emotional Water signs, but you tend to hold in your feelings for different reasons. You know that your emotions are powerful and intense, and you consciously tone them down so you won't scare people. Cancers, on the other hand, keep their feelings to themselves because they're afraid others won't love them if they know too much. If you can gain a Crab's trust, they'll feel more comfortable opening up. One thing is certain: This won't be a short-lived affair. Scorpio and Leo

Leos are outgoing and flashy, often grabbing the limelight away from less showy signs. You want to be respected and recognized for your accomplishments, and if your Leo steals attention away from you, you'll find it unbearable. Scorpio and Leo are both Fixed signs, which means you can both be stubborn when you want to be -- and you often do. This isn't an impossible relationship, but it will require a lot of compromise and acceptance on both sides. If you can pull it off, you'll both be rewarded with a loving, loyal partner who is in it for the long haul. Scorpio and Virgo

Virgos are more analytical and practical, and you tend to be more emotional and raw. If you can both learn to accept the qualities that make you different, you will have a deep respect for each other. You can bring your Virgo into a world of increased feeling and passion, and you might learn how to be more logical and rational from them. Romantically, you're both too hot for many people to handle. Although Virgos seem cool and detached, they can focus passion like a laser. If they shine that light of love in your direction, you two can have a long-lasting, happy relationship.

Scorpio and Libra

A Libra can teach Scorpio how to find the perfect balance between head and heart -- if you can get past your differences. Libras approach life intellectually, while you see everything through the filter of your emotions. While Libra uses language and actions, you feel things intensely without finding it necessary to verbalize them. Together you can share a deep and abiding trust for each other. If you allow your partner to instruct you on the finer things in life, you'll be rewarded with a greater appreciation for beauty. Your Libra, on the other hand, will be rewarded with a sincere and lasting love. Scorpio and Scorpio

When you meet another Scorpio, you may not like each other at first. In fact, you'll probably dislike each other. You can be mirrors to each other, and you may not like seeing yourself so closely. You'll be deeply attracted to each other -- not that either of you know any other way to be attracted. You may be astounded by how intense you are when seen through another Scorpio's eyes. At times, the emotions will be so extreme that you'll both need to step away from the relationship, getting some fresh air from new people or experiences. Scorpio and Sagittarius

You're easily attracted to, and inspired by, a Sagittarian's confidence and love of adventure. Chemistry may not be enough to make up for your fundamental differences, though. You follow your gut, while your Archer just shoots from the hip. You instinctively know if a plan is going to work or not, and your partner is likely to ignore your objections to follow an idea he or she is excited about. Sagittarius also avoids dealing with anything negative at all costs, which might be a problem for someone who needs to process every emotion -- good or bad. Scorpio and Capricorn

Like you, Capricorns tend to be reserved. For you, it's a trust issue. For a Goat, it's about doing what's right. You see, Capricorns feel that sharing feelings is inappropriate a lot of the time. Because you have a similar demeanor, you have great respect for each other's personal space, giving each other room to process things on your own terms. Don't let your Goat's cool exterior fool you, though. Once your partner learns the steps, he or she will dance with wild abandon. And the best part? Your Capricorn will always let you lead. Scorpio and Aquarius

Scorpios value privacy, and would rather enjoy the comfort of home than venture out into uncharted territory. Aquarians, on the other hand, need to be out and around people. This difference alone may stop this relationship in its tracks before it even leaves the station. To add insult to injury, you're both stubborn Fixed signs, and your possessive and jealous nature can make Aquarius feel smothered. So why even bother? Because if you can give each other the space to be who you are without judgment, it will totally be worth it, that's why. Scorpio and Pisces

Pisces and Scorpio are both water signs, which means you're both intensely emotional. While you tend to spend a lot of time processing your emotions, Fishes are more interested in other people's feelings. Your Pisces is sensitive and compassionate, and can sooth your outbursts with their kind heart. If those outbursts are directed at him or her, however, they can be easily wounded. If you can be more sensitive to your partner's feelings, and if they can toughen up just a little bit, this can be a match that makes both of your dreams come true.

Tarot.com is Part of the Daily Insight Group ©2017

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FOUND IN, WITCHES OF THE CRAFT.COM

[itstraumatime]

Servus Autem Populus

Yes, I’m alive!!! It’s been quite the week. Thanks for staying with me! We went to Point Defiance Zoo in Tacoma this week where little Max decided my phone wanted to swim with the fishes (: Good times.

I don’t know about all of you, but I have a serious and undying love for tattoos. I have about twenty myself, and I’ve really had the itch to add to my collection lately. I’m not in a position to do anything else visible or huge at the moment, so last night, as insomnia took over, I stayed up contemplating what I should get next. “I want something meaningful” I thought. “I want a tattoo that pushes me.”

Becoming a nurse is (nearly) everything to me. I want something that reflects that now, and serves as a constant reminder once I’ve “made it”....something that grounds me and brings me back to why I’m doing this in the first place. As I sipped on my midnight beer in bed, I glanced up at my TV. A documentary on Netflix called Heroin(e) was on (short, but highly recommended). The doc. highlights the evergrowing opiate epidemic in a small town located in West Virginia that has been dubbed the “overdose capital of America.” We follow an outstanding woman named Jan Rader, working for the fire department; Jan is constantly in the streets, saving anyone she possibly can. “I don’t care if I save the same person 50 times” she says. “Each time I bring them back is another shot at long-term recovery.”

I finished the documentary feeling utterly inspired by this woman. By her compassion, her commitment to service and also to her community. This got my wheels turning (now it’s almost 2) and led me down a much deeper trail of thoughtful self-examination. As I stirred, unable to sleep, I asked myself: “What does being a nurse ACTUALLY mean to me?” Several words came to mind; humility, empathy, selflessness....but the one that stuck with me?   Service.

I am not doing this for props. I am not in it for the money (though it’s an obvious perk). I do not need recognition or special treatment. Service. I want to nurse to serve. In my life I have found that nothing gives you perspective like humility. And I can think of nothing more humbling or more awe-inspiring than the opportunity to go to work every day and find yourself exactly by losing yourself; becoming selfless. I believe it is an absolute necessity in this field I’m not even yet a part of, but that I already love. This is one of many reasons I feel so drawn to this field-I will learn every day, every shift, for the rest of my career. Not just academically, but spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. 

As nurses, we will be required to keep our heads and our wits about us at all times. I think one of the best ways to do that is to keep ourselves grounded. Keep our priorities fresh and in check, and always in the backs of our minds (because there aren’t already 10,000 other things we’ll have to keep there....LOL). Although humility is essential, our headspace as a whole is critical. When we are confronted with those difficult patients...the ones who curse at us, berate us or even assault us, I am training myself now to look at these instances not as a burden or a trial, but as a blessing. Fellow future nurses, we are undeniably, unequivocally blessed to be able to care for the sickest of the sick; the destitute, and anyone else walking through our doors or landing in our bays. 

This is a very special job. NOT everyone can do it. And many who can eventually experience burn out. I’m going to do my best to combat this daily by feeding my spiritual appetite and continuing to grow. We can encourage each other. Uplift each other. This job is a privilege - one that I will make sure I am worthy of by having the mindset of an advocate and the heart of a servant. This is what nursing is to me, at least in my flower bud stage of this journey. And so I have my next tattoo:                                                “Servus Autem Populus”                                                 -”Servant of the people”

What does nursing mean to you?

S T A Y   U P