#even though it means i can no longer procrastinate writing

[canine-arts]

finished some cover art but not the actual fic itself... productive enough I'd say

[liliavanrougelover]

If it's ok, could you please write the vice housewardens with an s/o who treats their housewarden the way sebek does malleus!!! (so with jade for example, the reader would be a huge azul fan, just to clarify :3) platonic with ortho ofc

-🍩

Housewarden's fan

Characters: All vice-housewardens (Platonic Ortho) (Ruggie is Savanaclaw's honorary vice-housewarden)

A/N: This took longer than I wanted. I'm a top-tier procrastinator.

Trey Clover:

He’s really thrown off

He’s happy that you like Riddle, but he wasn’t expecting it

And he definitely didn’t expect you to tell him that you’re a fan of Riddle

And if you’re as intense about it as Sebek is with Malleus, it will definitely throw both of them off so much

Riddle himself won’t know how to feel

“That was amazing, Riddle! You’re so talented.” He just poured a cup of tea. What do you mean?

Riddle does get an ego boost from it. It won’t show but he’ll feel so good about himself

Trey is just happy that you two get along

Ruggie Bucchi:

“Join the club.”

Ruggie isn’t a fan of Leona (obviously) but he’s aware that Leona has a fan club

Leona’s a prince, of course he has a fan club

Leona has to ban you from Savanaclaw because of how intense you are

You’re gushing about how cool he is to someone else and gets so creeped out over it

Ruggie messes with Leona about it, but also asks you to tone it down so you can come back to his dorm

Do you expect him to study all alone?

He’s also a little weirded out about it, but not to the point that he’d leave you because of it

He sometimes gets a little pouty because it feels like you like Leona more than him, even though he knows you don’t

Jade Leech:

Well, of course you’d be an Azul fan

Shut up, Jade. We all know you’re secretly surprised

He’s unfazed, to be honest

He will accuse you of liking Azul more than him to get kisses

He’s a little shit like that (affectionate)

When Jade actually gets jealous, he’ll just drag you out on a hike

Floyd also teases you for being an Azul fan

Azul will use it to get more money

Jamil Viper:

No

No

He can’t deal with this. Please

Say it’s a joke, say sike

The one person that he loves more than anything else is a Kalim fan

You tell him this and he just walks away. Literally turns around and walks away

He’s so conflicted

On one hand, he loves you. On the other hand, you’re a fan of Kalim

Don’t bring it up around him ever again, please

Rook Hunt:

Him too

You tell him you're a fan of Vil and he’s just like “Of course you are. Who wouldn’t be?”

You and him will sometimes just gush about Vil. Whether it be how pretty he looks today, his acting, his singing. Anything

And Vil…

“There’s another one…” -Vil

Rook wil also rant about Neige to you, even if you aren’t a fan of his

Ortho Shroud:

His best friend is a fan of his brother?

Well then, do you want to meet him?

Come over to Ignihyde and he’ll introduce… He’ll try, at least

Idia doesn’t let you into his room under any circumstances

Ortho brings you over and Idia is having a heart attack

Ortho tried

Lilia Vanrouge:

Immediately compares you to Sebek

He also introduces you to Sebek now you guys are friends

He’s happy that you like Malleus and Sebek (and Silver)

He’s just listening as you tell him all the things you like about Malleus

He just this soft little smile on his face

[heliads]

sorry to send in two requests but if you've got the time Luke Patterson x reader where she is his tutor for English or something and he develops a crush, so even when he understands the stuff she's teaching him he pretends to be confused so that the tutoring sessions last longer. And then one day he gets a good grade and she's proud of him but that means the sessions are over so he builds up the courage to ask her out? You can put this at the bottom of the list or not even write it because I know how swamped your requests get, but ily.

do not apologize for two requests!! my blog exists for you!! and jatp s2 may be dead but my feelings for that show are not. xoxo

masterlist

Luke Patterson is currently fighting a one-man war against his English class, and he is losing. Badly. This was not supposed to be his problem class, he was thinking the biggest struggle would be math or science, but surprise surprise, there’s no such thing as a class you can just skate through. He tried to skate through English. He tried really, really hard, but instead of Spark Notes-ing his way through whatever classic book they threw his way, Luke’s staring at a bright red D on his latest essay.

This would happen to be the most recent essay they were assigned, the one Luke pushed off until the last minute because he was too invested in getting some good songs down on paper. He hadn’t meant to procrastinate, he never does, it’s just that whenever Luke had a spare hour or two, it’s always far more tempting to head out to the studio and mess around with some chord progressions than to do homework.

This essay had gone just like all the other ones so far this year. The book had been assigned, the essay followed not soon after, and Luke told himself that he was going to start it on time for a change. The only problem was that he came home late that day after a shift at his job, so he couldn’t start it that day, and then he was studying for a test the next day, and after that he was working on songs. Before he knew it, it was the night before and he was speed writing to get everything down in time. Luke doesn’t even think he had time to proofread before turning in that mess.

So yeah, he shouldn’t really be surprised about this grade in particular. Still, he isn’t pleased about it. He doesn’t want to see the look on his parents’ face when he dodges another question about his grades, nor listen to all the other kids in his class talk about how easy that essay prompt was. Everything just makes him feel worse.

And, if Luke’s day couldn’t get any better, his English teacher pulls him aside after class to talk about it.

“I noticed your last few assignments haven’t been going as expected,” she says sympathetically, “is there anything you want to tell me about that?”

There’s a lot Luke wants to tell her, such as the fact that this class is dry as a saltine and twice as bland. They’ve spent the last few classes just going over social hierarchies around the time when the book was written, talk about boring. If Luke wanted to study history, he’d read a textbook.

He can’t say all that without damaging his final grade even more, though, so Luke plasters on a grin and does his best impression of an earnest student who’s just had a bad string of luck. “Not really, I’ve just been so busy recently that I didn’t have enough time to really ponder the prompt, you know?”

Usually, this is Luke’s best strategy for getting out of these kinds of nonsense conferences. He’ll whip out a few key words like ‘time commitments’ and whatnot and his teachers will fall for it every time.

He might have done this too often, though, because his teacher just nods and refuses to let him go. “That makes sense to me. Do you think it would help to spend a little more time exploring the prompt or connecting the book to the essay topics?”

“Sure,” Luke says vaguely. He’s only half paying attention; he just saw Reggie outside the door mouthing the words what did you do?? as dramatically as he could.

The teacher looks pleased by this. “That’s what I thought. I’ve gone ahead and signed you up for some tutoring sessions, you’ll start this afternoon after school.”

Luke blinks. “Wait, what?” Clearly, he hasn’t been paying attention nearly enough. Since when was tutoring on the table?

The teacher spreads her hands. “You need a little more help and organization to stay on track. Tutoring is the perfect answer to this.”

“Is it?” Luke asks feebly.

“Absolutely,” the teacher decides, and that’s that. Luke tries to wheedle his way out of it through repetition of how busy he is, like, all the time, but it doesn’t matter. She’s caught him in a half-lie and there’s nothing he can do to avoid it.

Reggie’s waiting for Luke outside the door when he finally leaves. “What happened in there?”

“Pure misery,” Luke groans, and contemplates giving himself a concussion by ‘accidentally’ falling down the stairs so he can go home without having to go to tutoring.

Unfortunately, Reggie enlists Alex in keeping Luke free of head trauma, and so he finds himself in an empty classroom later that afternoon, mournfully watching all of the other students leave the school with no doubt wonderful plans awaiting them.

Luke’s just starting to wonder if his tutor isn’t going to show up after all (after fifteen minutes, he’s legally allowed to leave, right) when someone slides into the seat in front of him.

“Sorry about being late,” they gasp, “I just found out I was doing this like ten minutes ago.”

Luke breaks his desolate stare out the window to glance at his tutor and instantly, he feels the crushing weight of shame bear down on him tenfold. It would have been one thing to have a total stranger be his tutor, someone Luke could avoid looking at in the hallways and never speak to again, but he knows this girl. More importantly, he’s thought she was cute for at least the last four years.

This is the worst case scenario, then. Y/N L/N is smart, she’s pretty, and judging by the fact that Luke always sees her in a group of friends laughing at her jokes, she’s funny, too. Definitely someone Luke would want to impress through gigs or shows instead of, say, his crumbling English grades.

“I’m Y/N,” she says, and Luke realizes that she’s probably been waiting for him to say something. Great, he can’t even introduce himself properly.

“Luke,” he answers, “but you probably knew that already.”

Y/N laughs, and judging by the slightly manic tone behind it, she’s just about as composed about the whole thing as he is. That makes him settle slightly in his chair, lowering his guard. “I was told that I would be tutoring you when I was trying to leave class. Ms. Brown pulled me aside when the bell rang and told me about it.”

“That makes two of us,” Luke grumbles.

The corners of Y/N’s lips quirk up before she manages to tamp them down again, and if Luke weren’t totally out of his mind, he might even say that Y/N has the same attitude towards their English teacher as he does. That would certainly make this whole tutoring experience a lot more interesting.

“So,” she says, clearing her throat in an attempt to sound official, “you wanted to talk about essay pointers, right?”

Luke starts to say something about how he didn’t want any of this, actually, but Y/N arches a brow and he relents. “Yeah, essay stuff. The last one didn’t go over too hot.”

Y/N tilts her head to the side, contemplating this. “Did you agree with her grading?”

“Yeah,” Luke admits, “she wasn’t wrong to mark me down, I kind of did it the night before in one sitting.”

Y/N frowns. “Really? Why’d you put it off so long? I thought you liked writing. Whenever I see you, you’re always jotting something down in that notebook of yours.”

Luke grins. “You’ve been watching me? That’s creepy, you know.” He’s obviously holding back a laugh, though, so the comment has no trace of a barb.

Y/N rolls her eyes, although her face looks a little hot at the moment. “Just answer the question.”

“Alright,” he says, hands raised in mock surrender, “you’re right, I do like writing.”

“Then why wait until the last minute to do the essay? I mean, I get not having a ton of time to work on assignments, but if you really do enjoy writing, it shouldn’t be all that bad, right?”

Luke groans. “ This is different. It’s not fun writing,” he tries to excuse himself.

It sounds bad even to him. Already, Luke can see how this is going to play out– she’ll laugh at him, maybe, say that someone who just got a grade like him can’t possibly be thinking about writing and fun in any way at all. She doesn’t, though. Instead, she nods and smiles at him. A real smile. Not mocking in any way.

“What is fun writing, then?” She asks.

Luke blinks in surprise. “Well, writing songs is fun, I guess,” he stammers, “stuff that actually matters, you know? All these essays are the exact same, but songs are all different. That’s why I care about them and not some pointless paper.”

Y/N nods. “That makes sense to me. So you release music, right?”

Luke isn’t sure where she’s going with this, but he’s perfectly happy to talk about music instead of that offensive red scribble all over his paper, so he plays along. “Yeah, me and my band. We try to, at least.”

“Have you ever gotten a review that bothered you? Not because they didn’t like it, but because they disliked your songs for the wrong reason? Like you had a whole story in mind for your album but the critics just ignored it?” She prompts him.

“Yeah,” Luke says, eyes widening with irritation, “Man, it’s so annoying. You go to all the trouble of writing out these ideas, and you make them have a really good meaning, too, and then it’s like they never read it at all. It makes me so mad sometimes, I want to write a column or something in response about how they totally missed my point.”

“Like, say, an argumentative essay about the real strengths of your chosen piece of writing?” Y/N says as casually as she can.

Luke’s about to argue and say that’s not like this at all, but on second thought, it is. It totally is. “Wait, you’re right. I never thought about it like that, but you’re right. Y/N L/N,” he decides on the spot, “I really like you.”

She grins back at him. “Luke Patterson, I like you too.”

That settles it for him. Luke had been annoyed at the thought of having to suffer through tutoring beforehand, but maybe he’ll be alright with it now. Y/N isn’t a part of the oppressive legion of teachers all conniving to make his life a living hell because he wants to be a musician instead of a doctor or a banker, she’s on his side. That makes it all better somehow.

And, unsurprisingly, it is better. Luke actually ends up having a really good time in his tutoring sessions with Y/N. They don’t feel like tutoring at all, more like a chance to hang out with a friend. They talk about Jane Austen and tell awesome jokes, read Shakespeare and spend more and more time together. Luke knows this is only a temporary thing until his grades get back up, but it’s too easy to forget that.

Until, one day, it isn’t. His English teacher hands back an essay with a bright red ‘A’ marked on the front, and tells him that she’s proud of all the progress he’s made so quickly. Instead of a sigh of relief, the only thing escaping Luke’s lips is a desolate sigh. After all, if Luke’s improved to this point, that kind of means his tutoring sessions will be over, right?

Y/N doesn’t know that, though. Y/N doesn’t have access to his grades. All she knows is what Luke tells her, and if informing her of his latest essay win means she’ll stop seeing him after school, why should Luke let slip a single syllable?

So, later that day, when Y/N asks him how the latest essay went, Luke shrugs and pretends to be disappointed. “I’d hoped for more,” he says, “she, uh, didn’t like my commentary.”

“Really?” Y/N questions, frowning slightly, “I thought you were really good at that.”

Luke’s eyes widen, caught in a lie. “Who knows with teachers, right?” He laughs weakly.

Y/N pretends to shudder. “I know, right? I feel like half of your grade is literally just how much she likes you. English classes are always so subjective.”

“Subjective?” Luke asks, grinning and propping his chin up on his hand, “Tell me about that.”

Y/N laughs. “Only if you promise we’ll talk Jane Eyre immediately afterwards. Immediately.”

“I so swear,” Luke intones, holding up his right hand with all the solemnity of a president being sworn into office.

Y/N swats him on the shoulder with her notebook, but she obliges, and maybe they don’t talk about Jane immediately. Maybe they laugh a little longer than usual. And maybe, just maybe, Luke thinks that he’s perfectly fine with obscuring the truth if it means he can have more of this when he needs it the most.

The truth, unfortunately, has a habit of making itself heard regardless of who is inclined to hide it. Luke comes into their usual study spot in the library one day to see Y/N waiting for him, not already in her seat like normal but standing tentatively at the side.

He frowns, slinging his backpack down on the ground and pulling up a chair. “Everything alright? You look like you’re about to run. If you’ve got something planned, we can do this another day.”

Y/N shakes her head slightly. “No, I’m free all day.”

Luke gestures towards the table. “Then sit down, my legs are getting tired just looking at you. We’ve got stuff to study, don’t we?”

“Well, that’s what I was going to ask about,” Y/N says, “Ms. Brown stopped me after class today, said she had someone else she wanted me to tutor. I said I was already booked with you and she was confused. Apparently you’ve been doing just fine for quite some time.”

Luke feels his breath catch in his throat. This is not how he’d wanted Y/N to find out. For what must be the hundredth time this year, Luke sends out a silent curse to all meddlesome English teachers.

“Yeah,” he says as carefully as he can, “I have, but only because of your expert tutoring. It’s like antibiotics, you know? You don’t stop taking ‘em when you start feeling better, only when the prescription is over.”

Y/N blinks at him in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

He runs a hand through his hair, trying not to feel like everything is slipping out of control in an instant. “It was a simile, sorry. A bad one. All I mean is that we don’t have to stop this just because I got a good grade or two.”

Y/N almost looks like she’s smiling, but that could just be Luke being delusional. “I thought you didn’t want to do tutoring.”

“I didn’t at the start, but you’re different. We’re cool. We are cool, right?” Luke starts rambling more and more with each passing second, but he can’t help it. He’s overthinking everything. What if he’s literally just been a tutee this whole time, and she doesn’t think they’re friends at all?

Y/N stares at him a second longer, then takes a seat at last. “Luke Patterson, are you telling me that you like my company so much that you’re willing to keep going to extra English practice just to see me?”

Luke can feel his face heating up, but he does his best to ignore it. “Well, when you put it that way, it sounds–” He still has a little bit of self control left, so he cuts himself off before he can make a truly terrible mistake.

Y/N catches him, though. “It sounds like what?”

“It sounds like I like you,” he admits, and Y/N’s smiling at him, so he decides to take the leap of faith and just do what he’s been wanting to do for quite some time. Since the start of this, actually. “And I do like you. I like you a lot. I might not need the tutoring anymore, but that doesn’t mean I want to stop seeing you. So what if we met up sometime soon? Not for English, for us.”

Luke decides that he likes Y/N’s smile more than anything. “Are you asking me out?” She says.

“I am,” he affirms. “Are you saying yes?”

“I am,” she repeats.

Suddenly, Luke feels like the luckiest kid of all. Maybe he does have to throw in a good word or two for meddlesome English teachers after all. Sometimes they have a way of connecting you with the best people in the world.

requested by @thatfangirl42, i hope you enjoy!

jatp tag list: @rogueanschel, @retvenkos, @callsign-scully, @lovesanimals0000, @amortensie

[obliqueblade]

A Post from a Friend

Hello, everyone. I am not Obliqueblade, and for those who have been here before, I’m sure you know what that means. For those unaware, or those stumbling across this blog in the future, I will explain. 

The original owner of this account, my best friend, has died. 

I didn't even know that she had a Tumblr, nor that she had planned to leave it with me after everything. It breaks my heart a bit to see her updates and talk about her prognosis as she did. 

I’m sure I’ll have more to say, eventually, I do plan on doing as she asked, completing her work the way she wanted- but for now, I want to grieve my friend. Then, I want to talk about who she was, explain just how much this community meant to her, and generally just talk about one of the greatest people I’ve known. 

She did leave a message she wrote a month ago, about a week before she passed, and I would like to share it with you all now. 

Feel free to leave comments, I’ll be back to answer soon. 

Thank you. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been putting this off for quite some time, but I fear I have no more time I can delay. Despite everything, I’m still a procrastinator at heart. I have spent far too much time thinking of how I want to address those who have stumbled onto my account and on my writing, but I fear for all my writing I am not sure how to word what I feel. 

Rather than continuing to wait, I have decided to write what I have collected of my thoughts thus far. I deeply appreciate those who have left likes, comments, and reposts of my writing- even those outside of “Who are you, really?”. When I started this journey, I had not anticipated it taking as long as it has. I also did not foresee what would occur at that time. I had thought I would live to see the end of my fic, but that can no longer be the case.

But that is the way life works, I suppose. Most people are not dealt the hands they deserve, nor are they given nearly enough time. 

I have always wished to help people- I had hoped that I would be able to achieve that in my life, but I am not sure I can say I have. Regardless, I am grateful for those who were able to contribute to my happiness these past few years. 

Recently, I have to admit I took a step back from writing, as well as watching Hermitcraft. I fear my heart may not be able to take not knowing what I will be left never to know. Waiting on those cliffhangers of “what’s next”- when I do not know if I will wake up tomorrow. 

I am satisfied with what I have seen so far, and as of writing this, Joel has announced his own TCG common card. I have asked the friend I have left this account for to get one on my behalf to join the others I have. I would like them, as well as all the merch I have to be with me. It feels important that even though I will no longer be here, those stay with me. 

While I may not be watching Hermitcraft as I wait, I am pleased with the memories I carry—the joy they bring me. The edits, art, and stories this community has created supported and distracted me in some of my darkest moments, and I truly regret that I will not be able to finish this story, with my own words, the way I had intended. 

Finally, I want to say, thank you. Even if you are discovering all of this after my passing, I am grateful to all those who have stumbled into my little corner of the internet. Just because I am gone, the things I have gotten to create will forever remain as moments captured from a different time.

This was truly the happiest few years of my life and in the words of Technoblade himself

 “I hope you all go on to live long, prosperous, and happy lives because I love you guys”

~ObliqueBlade Out

[alpinelogy]

🤍 sargebon ? ^_^

🤍 kiss at the wedding/milestone

Ajsjs I’m finally catching up on these (real not clickbait).

Started writing this way back when I first reblogged this ask game, procrastinated until the news dropped but i swear it was always this sappy. Not beta read, might go and clean it up later

sargebon, 0.9k, fluff without plot

The night has started to wind down a long time ago now, the first guests have started leaving hours ago, slowly trickling out one by one until now, where they are practically the only ones left still at the wedding, the last ones remaining. Only the two of them, now allowed to enjoy the aftermath, the after of it all.

They both have abandoned their suit jackets a while ago, neither of them in favor of wearing the rigid garment for longer than necessary. They both looked good in them, Logan more so than Alex but secretly, Alex suspects Logan would argue the opposite. Now however, both have long forgotten them, leaving them hanging over the backs of their chairs.

Logan is standing on the edge of the dancefloor, looking further out where the shoreline is barely visible in the clear, warm night. Alex thinks he looks ethereal, from another world, his head spins whenever he remembers that Logan said yes, that he smiled, laughed in joy and said yes months ago and then said it again today, this time a bit more collected and less caught off guard.

Not for the first time, Alex is reminded how horribly, sappily he is in love with Logan. He cannot bring himself to care, to be bothered by it. If today is anything to go by, Logan is just as in love with him as he is in love with Logan.

“Care for a dance?” Alex carefully wraps his arm around Logan's waist, pulls him closer. He is a solid weight against Alex, warm and familiar, someone that Alex has wrapped himself around a thousand of times before, curling up in the evenings, keeping close to retain at least a sliver of comfort, of warmth in the winter.

Logan laughs. A ringing sound, full of joy and love. Alex is smitten, even after all these years, “There is no music playing.” He argues. He isn't putting up a fight, he is not trying to argue with Alex, he is just being pragmatic, practical and organized.

“Doesn't mean we cannot dance.” Alex leans in to place a soft kiss on Logan's temple. He knows Logan was not arguing against him, that he was only being practical, that he can be easily swayed. Alex wants to sway him. They had their first dance, they danced afterwards, but this feels somehow different, more personal, more private. Just them.

Again, Logan laughs and turns around to properly face Alex, “Okay.” He eventually says. His smile isn't the large, excited grin from hours ago. Now it is more muted, smaller, more genuine and honest, Alex knows fully well.

He slides his right hand into Logans, keeps his left hand where it was on Logans waist and slowly, carefully he leads them back to the center of the dance floor. It is slow, careful, neither of them can properly remember the steps, both of them only relenting to learn this dance after George ragged on them continuously for long enough that their determination to not learn weakened and waned until it was fully gone.

Still, even with their unskilled steps, Alex finds it stupidly, horribly romantic. The cicadas and the sea are the only two sounds accompanying them, their slow, out of tune and out of sync steps. Alex could not have imagined a better end to the day.

“I love you.” Alex close to whispers. He isn’t sure if Logan even heard him, he says it more for himself than for Logan, Logan has heard him say it a thousand times over, he promised Logan forever today and he plans on keeping that promise, “But you already know that.” He adds, almost self deprecatingly. He only barely holds back the awkward laugh that is threatening to get out.

Logan hums, Alex can feel the vibrations spread into his own body, “Still like hearing it though.” He heard then, he heard Alex’s confession. Alex doesn't mind, not really, he knew that Logan would most likely overhear, “Love you too.” He adds after Alex’s words properly sink in.

Alex’s heart clenches. He knows that, obviously he knows that, he has known that for years. It still makes something in his chest flip. The cold metal of Logan’s ring grounds him, makes all of this feel more real, more probable, more tangible. His own ring has already been a steady reminder. Logan's ring just solidifies it.

Neither of them say anything. They don't need to, not when Alex can feel Logan warm against him, barely suppressing a laugh, opting only for a muted, content smile.

One more spin and they stop, standing in the middle of the strangely empty dance floor. It is just them now, it has been just them for a while now, stupidly, horribly infatuated with each other. Alex would not have it any other way, can not imagine his life any other way, no matter how much he tries.

He cups Logan’s face, Logan leans into the touch. He strokes Logan’s cheek, runs his thumb along his cheekbone. Logan slowly closes his eyes, lets Alex do whatever he wants, trusts him because he knows what’s coming next.

They have kissed a thousand times before, several times today alone. It still feels like the first time, every time Alex pulls Logan closer to kiss him something always flutters in his stomach, something flutters and then settles down, content and happy, pleased, almost maybe a bit smug that he gets to kiss Logan whenever he wants.

They part. Logan smiles again, laughs, a ringing sound. Alex is horribly, awfully in love maybe.

[youcouldmakealife]

are there any unexpected challenges when moving between two such tonally different works as sait and cott at the same time?

Interestingly, it's sort of the opposite! I've learned that having a tonally serious series at the same time as a more lighthearted one is great because I can work on either depending on my mood and what headspace I'm willing and able to enter at the time.

The stories of the week and the month also help for that -- they're much easier to pop in and out of versus the series, which tend to involve longer writing sessions and a lot more 'editing as I go' than the stories of the week, which are done in short sessions or sometimes, if it's clicking well, in big chunks or even all at once (the dream).

But having two series that are so different kind of counters my excuses? 'Oh I'm not in a Holden headspace today, he's too up tempo and frenetic' can be countered, quite easily, with 'may I interest you in the saddest man in the world, then?'. It's actually nice with alternating POVs too, because, barring my not knowing what comes in the next part, the answer could also be 'how about some James, then?'.

So depending on how my writing's going, I could have just one upcoming part in the works or like, bits and pieces of five (especially toward the beginning or end of series; I probably have snippets from 5 or 6 upcoming parts of SAIT right now, because we've reached the final 15% or so), all because whatever my brain wants to write, that's what we're writing.

The result of that is that I'm now pretty consistently productive, when, if I force myself to focus on one thing, that could either go well, or it could mean I get fuck all done. (mostly the latter)

I've had some pretty major breakthroughs since I started doing this professionally, since 'don't feel like it' is all well and fine for your hobbies, which should be providing you joy, but not so much when it comes time to pay the bills. Part of it is treating it as work (not the 'ugh, work' part, though sometimes, unfortunately, that's true, even if it's your passion, but the 'I don't feel like doing <insert task>, but I've got to do it anyway to because it's my job' part of work.)

One of the biggest breakthroughs was ignoring 90% of writing advice (and productivity advice, and frankly, general advice) as not applicable to me, rather than thinking I'm a failure at following said advice (which so often is just people writing what works for them and acting like it's a universal tenet and not simply a process that works for them).

Knowing my brain is literally wired differently has been really helpful in accepting that, not blaming myself for it, and going to find the things that do work for me. And I've found a bunch! That I will get into later because I...have turned this into productive procrastination (one of my most commonly used strategies) and I should be writing at the moment.

But later! I'll post some things that work for me, and may or may not work for you, who knows, none of this is cut and dry, we're all making it up as we go, even (especially) the people who claim otherwise.

[actuallyadhd]

Book: The Procrastination Equation Subtitle: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done Author: Piers Steel, PhD Publisher: Random House Canada Year: 2010

This isn't going to be a really formal book review or anything, I just thought I'd provide you guys with the pertinent information, in case you want to read it yourselves. :)

So, basically, Piers Steel is an industrial psychologist who specializes in procrastination. He teaches at the University of Calgary, in the Haskayne School of Business. He started studying procrastination because he procrastinated, so once again we have an expert who used his own problems to influence his studies. :D

The procrastination equation isn't a real equation - that is, it's not something you can plug actual numbers into and figure out what your procrastination number is. It's more of a theoretical approach to the definition of procrastination, that explains how and why people procrastinate. Written as a mathematical equation, it looks like the picture at the top of this post.

In other words, what we expect to receive for a task, multiplied by its intrinsic value (to us), all divided by how impulsive we are times how far away the due date is, equals how motivated we are to actually work on the task in question. The less motivated we are, the more we're going to put it off. This is why so many post-secondary papers are written the night before they're due: the papers are assigned months ahead of time, there is no certain expectancy of a good grade, and young adults are rather impulsive and don't really like working hard on things anyway. So the motivation to write the paper is really low until just before it's due.

One of the things I found really interesting about this book was the stuff about how brain function affects procrastination. Basically, it's the conflict between the limbic system and the prefrontal cortex that buggers us up. In reading about this, I kept thinking to myself, "he's describing ADHD!" but he never uses the term once, in the entire book.

The limbic system is the part of our brain that makes us do things when we want to do them. It's basically the seat of impulsivity. (Oh, by the way, he uses the word "impulsiveness" throughout the book. I prefer "impulsivity," even if my spell checker doesn't believe it's a word.) The limbic system is perfect for a hunter-gatherer society. Of course, evolution means that we are always perfectly designed for the environment we no longer live in. :)

The prefrontal cortex is the part of the brain that deals with executive functioning. It's where we make plans, follow through on plans, and all that other great stuff that is basically contrary to the nature of the limbic system.

On to the practical stuff...

First there was a self-assessment quiz (it's in chapter two, if you decide to read the book). People procrastinate because they have low expectancy, low value, or high impulsivity. As it turns out, my problem is mostly with impulsivity. In other words, I postpone doing things until the last minute because other stuff keeps catching my attention. I do the other things first, not because I don't think the first tasks are important (value) or will pay off in the end (expectancy) but because whatever it is that I end up doing instead is just way more interesting in the moment--long-term thinking just isn't my strong suit. (I'm pretty sure this is due to ADHD because I would always do all the research for a paper right when it was assigned, and then sit on my notes and let things percolate until the night before it was due. So I'd be completely prepared for the assignment and not complete it, even though I had everything I needed in order to do so.)

Chapters 7-9 are the ones that have the actual practical approaches to combat procrastination. I took notes on all of them, but of course not all of them are techniques that are going to be useful for me. I'm going to copy my notes anyway, though, because some of you guys might get something out of it, too. :)

Each bold header below has to do with a reason for doing something; the italicized sub-headers are the names of the ways you can deal with problems in that area, and are followed by explanations of how the methods work.

Expectancy

Success Spirals (+)

Set an ongoing series of challenging but ultimately achievable goals; maximize motivation and make the achievement meaningful.

Think of an area of life of real interest and strive to improve just a little beyond your current skill set.

Break town the tasks that daunt you into smaller and smaller pieces. Keep formal track of your progress. Count your successes.

Vicarious Victory (+)

Find an inspirational role model and/or a positive social peer group.

Seek inspiration from stories or others; it is easier to believe in yourself if you are surrounded by people who believe in themselves--or you!

Join a community, service, or professional organization.

Start your own support group; can be anyone, as long as it is mutually encouraging friends.

Wish Fulfillment (+)

Visualization, either mental contrasting (what you want vs what you have) or creative visualization (what you want, as per The Secret; not as effective as contrasting).

Think about the life you want; focus on just one aspect (break it down!); elaborate on what makes it attractive (e.g., diary, collage, quiet concentration); mentally contrast future with present, focusing on the gap.

Plan for the Worst, hope for the Best (-)

Rather than believing you can entirely and easily beat the problem of procrastination, believe that you can beat it down.

Determine what could go wrong, reflect honestly on past experiences, and ask for advice; list ways you habitually procrastinate and post it where you work; avoid pre-determined risks as much as possible; develop a recovery plan ahead of time; use the recovery plan.

Accept that You're Addicted to Delay (-)

Acknowledge powerlessness over procrastination: truly acknowledging that any single failure of willpower inevitably leads to the collapse of all your self-control gives you far more motivation than believing that occasional lapses can be safely contained.

Keep a daily log of procrastination habits; acknowledge that a weak will is the biggest problem, and "just once" is the beginning of the end; accept that the first delay justifies all the rest of them.

Value

Games and Goals

Finding the balance between the difficulty of your task and your ability to do it is a key component for creating flow, a state of total engagement.

The rist of procrastination diminishes when tasks are relevant, instrumentally connected to topics and goals of personal significance.

You need a string of future goals that you find intrinsically motivating to hook your present responsibilities onto.

Frame long-term goals in terms of the success you want to achieve (approach goal) rather than the failure you want to prevent (avoidance goal).

Make tasks more challenging; connect tasks to long-term goals (what you find intrinsically motivating); frame goals in terms of what you want to achieve rather than what you want to avoid.

Energy Crisis

Spoons (mental and physical).

Do difficult tasks at peak performance times; don't get hungry; exercise lots; make sleep predictable; respect your limitations.

You Should See the Task I'm Avoiding

Doing other things instead of the thing we're supposed to be doing - getting things done, but not the "right" thing.

Identify something you've been putting off, then things that are more enjoyable and do them instead/first.

Double or Nothing

Procrastinators tend not to reward themselves for getting things done.

Anticipated rewards make the work more enjoyable, which helps winning.

List rewards you can self-administer, promise yourself these rewards; consider ways of making tasks more enjoyable (pairing) without overriding the work.

Let Your Passion be Your Vocation

Finding work you want to do is a major step toward avoiding procrastination.

http://online.onetcenter.org/find/descriptor/browse/Interests

Look at careers involving activities you love or like doing; filter out all the occupations for which you don't possess skill or ability; rank by demand.

http://careervision.org

Impulsivity

Commit Now to Bondage, Satiation, and Poison

As you get closer to a temptation, your desire for it peaks, allowing the temptation to trump later but better options.

Throw away the key: eliminate the alternatives.

SatiationL meet your needs in a safe and managed manner before they intensify and take control (schedule recreational activities first, then add chores - "unschedule").

Try poison: punish failure.

http://www.stickk.com/

Identify your temptations, then...

Put them out of reach or far away;

Satisfy your needs first; or

Add disincentives to make them unattractive.

Making Paying Attention Pay

Inside out: pay attention please!

Frame in terms of abstract and symbolic features.

Ascribe negative qualities and consequences.

Outside in: now you see it, now you don't.

Regain stimulus control by making it harder to access or even notice the temptations.

Declutter and replace the clutter with triggers for tasks you usually procrastinate on.

Make workplace a cue by working until motivation disappears; then go elsewhere to goof off (this could be just another profile ont he same computer so you have to log off and back in if you are going to goof off).

Use covert sensitization to make distractions less inviting; focus on abstract aspects of temptations; eliminate cues; replace distraction cues with work-related cues; compartmentalize work and play as much as possible.

Scoring Goals

The finish line is just ahead.

Set corporeal goals with real deadlines, use mini-goals to get started on a task, structure the goals so that they are appealing (i.e., inputs [time invested] vs outputs [what's produced]).

Full automatic.

Intentionally adopt a routine; make an explicit intention to act (if-then is pretty good for this).

Frame your goals in specific terms so that you know precisely when you have to achieve them; break down long-term goals into a series of short-term objectives; organize your goals into routines that occur regularly at the same time and place.

"Optimal self-control involves not the denial of emotions but a respect for them."

[littleplantfreak]

~Mari's 100 Follower Event~

Hi! I made it to 100 followers which is quite the feat y'know. So although I don't normally take requests I figure it'd be refreshing to try it out! I'll just cut it off at 15 requests (if I even get that many lol) and I'll post to let everyone know when I've reached that number. Otherwise I'll just end it on Monday with however many I get.

Here's the do's, don'ts, and won'ts!

My blog is primarily Wind Breaker, so although it's silly for me to have to say, I'd like to be safe and specify that currently it's only for Wind Breaker characters

I can write for any character, but I don't excel in all of them and if it's one I'm not used to writing, it may take time (please be patient with me I'm so slow even with normal writing)

I can write SFW and NSFW and I'm pretty fine with most kinks (except for maybe scat, incest, or something extremely non-conish. Dubcon is new for me to write but I can try my best)

I don't really feel comfortable writing too much about self harm, miscarriage, other kinda sensitive topics like that, because I don't always have the ability or experience to properly handle them. If there's one you want to ask about though, by all means ask because i may not know if I can write it until you tell me what you're looking for.

I can do either headcanons or just plain writing a scenario/scenes/fic/drabble. If you don't have a preference I'll just pick whichever seems like it'll work for that specific prompt.

If you can't think of anything to request, you could always ask for a sequel to something I've already written or with characters i haven't done that prompt for before. Or you can get on my ass to finish something I've talked about writing but have been procrastinating >_>

I'm always up for AUs.

You could also just bring up something about a character and I'll yap about them if that's want you want. If you didn't already know from following me, I never shut up.

Oh! If you're asking for headcanons please limit the characters to 5 maximum and if it's a longer writing piece maybe 3 max. Otherwise it'll take me too long to go through everyone else's requests :(

I'll have a special tag I keep this event stuff in, and it'll be linked in the masterlist as well.

If there are similar requests, I might pair them up

Sorry I wrote so much! And thank you guys for being so sweet and awesome all the time. You really make it tons of fun to write and chat here, so even if you don't have a request, my DMs and inbox are always open!

[thatoneperson747]

Hi

So while procrastinating writing the fic I'm working on, I decided it was time for me to read the Royal Ranger. I only have book one, and I've had it for about a year now, but I never read even the first page. I've heard stuff throughout the fandom about it, but I've tried to stay away from royal ranger specific posts in order to not spoil the book for me.

If you also haven't read it yet and want to avoid spoilers, stop reading now. You've been warned.

Here's the things I knew before reading:

Will has a beard now. This is very controversial.

Alyss dies. She was burned to death. Also very controversial.

Horace and Cassie have a daughter named Maddie. Maddie becomes Will's apprentice.

And that's about it.

I decided that since the Royal Ranger was so hit or miss for the community, I'd document my thoughts on it (as a personal record, if you will) and see how my opinions change, if they change at all. Feel free to laugh at me if I make predictions and they end up being completely wrong lol

I've read the first seven chapters, and here are the main thoughts I have right now.

1. Is Will now just Halt? When he was first being described during the scene with Henry Wheeler, I dead ass thought Flanagan was talking about Halt. I mean, Will is grey already? Like, fully grey. He's described as having a "steel-grey beard." Not grey and brown, just grey. Halt???

2. Alyss' death fit her character well, but why did she have to die? Keep in mind, I was never the biggest fan of Alyss - I thought a character as interesting as a diplomat should have more personality than just "the main character's girlfriend" - but come on? We barely got to see them married. Idk man. I feel like her death would be better justified if they had actually like. been together longer? 10/10 for writing her death though, saving a poor child from death seems really in character for her, especially considering that's pretty much what Baron Arald did for the ward kids (he didn't die for it but still, he saved them from a childhood of neglect and almost certain death). I feel like it's a great wrap to her story, although I wish her story was longer.

3. Crowley was done dirty. What the actual f u c k Flanagan? The Corps Commander, the man, myth, and legend gets a paragraph to explain his death. It's such a lamely written death too? Crowley, a ranger, who was probably in peak health, just nopes out one night. At least he was smiling..? And maybe it's the fact that TEY is my favorite part of the series so far, but Crowley deserved way better than that shit. Also I'm surprised that I managed to not know about Crowley's death before this?? I actually cried reading it. He was such a precious little man in TEY, how could you do this Flanagan???

4. Maddie is a bit of a brat. Not even a bit, she kinda just is. To be fair, Cassie was that way sometimes as well, but Maddie just seems... I don't know, too much of a 'I-do-what-I-want-and-you-can't-stop-me' kinda person, but in a bad way??? Like that one kid in school who would never listen to authority figures and got everyone in trouble all the time? I hope she mellows out because she could be a great character, I think. It's said she takes after her mom, but I'd like to see her act like Horace too.

5. Gilan. Just Gilan. What?? I never liked his relationship with Jenny much, he seems quite a bit too old for her (at least 5 years, most likely quite a bit more since Halt had a few years between Gilan and Will), but he's so relentless in asking her to marry him? Huh??

And also, BOLD of Flanagan to assume Gilan would be hesitant about letting a girl into the corps. This man has traveled with Cassie. He's traveled with Lydia from Brotherband. He knows women are capable. I mentioned not liking his and Jenny's relationship, but like. he even respects her. She's a business woman, she owns her own restaurant. No one can possibly convince me that Gilan doesn't drink his respect-women juice DAILY. It feels out of character for him.

6. Poor Duncan. That's the end of the sentence.

7. Those guards are hysterical. Ah, yes, let's just casually not mention or try to stop the princess sneaking in and out of the castle even though this could end really really badly. Perfect logic.

And yeah that's all I got right now. I'm very excited to see how my opinions so far change! I'll document them here too in case anyone cares. Feel free to reblog with your own RR opinions and the like! I'd love to see what you guys think of my takes lol

[fictionalsownme]

Do you have any tips that you're willing to share when it comes to writing Wilford? Like, tips to keep writing him as in character as possible?

Hi! I’d love to share some tips!! 🥰 Wil is pretty hard to write for to be honest ^^" It can be easy to fall out of the rhythm of his character since he's just so strange of a guy haha but I guess that's what makes him fun too! each of the points ended up pretty long so hopefully I didn't get too ramble-y!

anyway! hopefully some of these pointers help out! 💞

some disclaimers really quick: all of these are my own interpretation but by no means does anyone have to follow these or do I think I'm right or anything like that! also, this is for wmlw!wilford since I pretty much only write for him so far :) let's get into it!

Wil has two modes depending on how grounded he is. The first is a go-with-the-flow airhead who has no idea what's going on and is completely unbothered by this. Everything just washes right over him, and he seems to think everyone else is like this too. He speaks in non-sensical idioms half the time, each sentence only barely connecting to the last. His accent is pretty over the top in this headspace too! The second is when he's a bit more grounded, probably leaning more Colonel than Wilford. In my writing, he gets like this when he's reminded of his past (similar to wmlw), forced to be present in the current moment, or emotional in some way, etc. His accent is less subtle and more typically british, and he speaks in longer, more logical sentences.

Stress the right words in his dialogue. This one might just be a quirk of my writing style because I love to overuse italics as you can probably tell haha but Wil emphasizes really random words when he speaks, so even just sprinkling it in every once in awhile I feel like adds a lot!

Don't forget his body language. In a similar vein to the previous point, Mark's performance of Wilford is reallyyy physical, and dependent on his mannerisms. How he moves his hands is a big one, they hang in the air or land in interesting spots. Same for his expressions, how he tilts his head, how he sits and walks around, etc. Don't forget to keep him moving often unless he's still for a specific reason (scared, thinking, etc).

Have Wilford 'MOTHERLOVING' Warfstache on standby. I play wmlw pretty much on a loop & on silent in the background while I write him if I feel like I'm struggling to get him right. The way Mark acts him is so specific with his voice and his mannerisms and everything so having the video to refer back to is super helpful even just to get the vibe down. Sometimes I'll watch the whole thing start to finish before I start my writing session, though,, maybe I'm procrastinating hehe

Try to balance his humor, sweetness, and attractiveness. This one is a little weird, and probably depends on your preferences and what kind of fic you're writing, but for me, these are the main aspects of Wil's personality I like to focus on. Like, let's not forget, he's totally ridiculous. But he also seems very sensitive, and you know... he's hot. He's a goofball! I found myself forgetting the funnier side of his personality while I was working on my fic so I figured I'd throw it in :)

He's not as violent as he used to be. so it's clear that Wil doesn't have the temper that he did as the Colonel, but I like to take it a step further and say that once we reach WMLW, he doesn't struggle as much with violence. This is a bit more headcanon territory but Wil's violence post-WKM was based in a (mis?)understanding that death isn't real in this world. I think that plus his desensitization to violence eventually brought him full circle all the way back around to just being kind of passive. He's not scared of violence or guns at all (ie kissing Abe's gun) but he doesn't really bother with them himself either. I just like him as kind of a harmless clueless puppy idk 👉👈 hehe

I hope these helped, and lmk if you have any more questions! I like rambling about my boy(s) kikiki 💞 thanks for the ask!

[accidentalcookies]

hello!! i kept procrastinating this, but now i'm actually buckling down to do a shaoyuan intro post!! i will get to the others sometime in the future... but for now, onto sy!!

(picrew here)

so for context, sy is actually my dnd character in a friend's campaign, but i simply love him so much that i plucked him out to shove him into various aus for my entertainment 😂

which also means that this character intro is less about an intro of him in a specific universe, and more just the key traits and backstory aspects that need to make it into every au in some way to make sy, well, sy. if i ever refer to a "canon" sy, that would be his original, dnd character version.

this got longer than i expected, i'm putting it all under a readmore 😅

full name: shaoyuan nie, 聂绍淵 (yes technically the last character is the traditional version but... it looks cooler than the simplified so i kept it SKDFHG)

age: it depends. canon sy is currently 28, and typically i do put him in his late 20s (unless i'm writing his younger self)

height: 6'3" (tall boy)

the gist of sy's backstory is that he's born to some sort of high ranking, nobility-adjacent family as the eldest of a set of twins, him and shaoquan. he has two older sisters, qinhui and qinli (twins) who are around 5 years older than him, and two very much younger siblings (also twins), nianxiu and nianping, who are 17 years younger than him, and whom we will refer to as the babies, because that's what they are to sy 😂

the reasons for it differs between aus, but when all the nie siblings are younger, each set of twins is forced to fight each other to the death (or near-death), sometimes alongside other kids in their age bracket. usually i translate it as something like a "training from hell" thing, such as in the mafia au with aristides.

whatever the reason given in-universe, though, sy takes it extremely seriously. like, way too seriously. essentially, if you give him a task, and convince him that it's necessary, he will become absolutely singlemindedly determined to complete it, and will give it 1000% effort. given that the context for this is fratricide (and often fellow child murder as well), you can imagine that 1000% effort is not great for his twin, sq.

these death-fights typically end at a certain age (adulthood), and it isn't until the very last set of death-fights does he suddenly have a moment of clarity, staring into his twin's eyes as he murders them. it's sort of a moment of like, "what was even the point of this? why was i even doing this? why was i going so hard on fratricide?"

cue the ensuing downward spiral! because in this moment, sy realizes that "hey, i'm an awful person! i do awful things! i only feel bad about the fratricide because i only just realized that it was all pointless and cruel! if given another purpose to fulfill, i would absolutely do similarly heinous shit! i'm a monster actually!!"

in canon, after they meet up again after that last fight, sq absolutely tears into sy about it and absolutely rips him to shreds with their words, and i usually translate this over into the aus, too. it's actually one of the pivotal moments in sy's psyche, the gordian knot that ties together all his guilt and regret and repentance and self-destruction.

following that, it becomes sy's life goal to get the babies (here they are!!) out from whatever situation the family is in, whether that be training from hell, or a cult, or whatever. some aus i set for before he manages it, and others i set for after. all that really does is affect his self-preservation-from-death mindset, where if it's before he's gotten the babies out, he's determined to live solely so he can achieve this goal, and if it's after, he's determined to get himself killed somehow 😅

as a character, sy is a deadpan sarcastic motherfucker. he will snark about anything and everything, and his internal monologue is always a joy to write, because he's also just a little bit weird! and as evidenced with the babies, he has an extreme soft spot for children, and has a big brother instinct a mile wide (and, if we're being honest, a parental instinct too). he has a tendency to take things way too seriously (if fratricide wasn't a good tip-off already..); if someone he trusts tells him something is necessary, it won't even occur to him to question it. and when it comes to it, he's ruthlessly cold. there's nothing he won't do, to achieve his goals. and he won't feel guilty about it either, if it proves necessary, despite his all-encompassing guilt complex. he'll feel guilty that he doesn't feel guilty, if that makes sense? he is also an incredibly avoidant bastard, and his main coping mechanism is repression. to him, talking about his feelings is worse than death, and he will do his utmost to avoid it. he also doesn't believe he deserves to be loved, so when it turns out that people do, he has absolutely no idea what to do with himself. "no don't, you're making a mistake, wait," he says

some additional facts about sy that i don't know where to put in this post:

in his dnd incarnation, he used to be a high level evocation wizard, with an elemental affinity of acid. he has since burned his spellbook in an attempt to declaw himself, and is now a rogue-warlock

i try to keep the aspect of acid elemental affinity across universes in some form, and his hatred for his inherent affinity

so yes, this does mean that he melted his twin's face off with acid in their fights.

he is trans!!

he is also undead in canon. shit happened

in canon, because of Reasons™️ (AKA being literally haunted by his own regrets), he's got a sort of discoloration on the left side of his face and his left eye that's in the shape of the whole melty-twin thing, and parts of his hair is slowly turning white. i typically try to keep this across aus somehow, and it's why i put it in the picrew, but it's not technically a scar.

for a man who is 6'3 and is typically dressed in a classic black suit, tie and all, his stealth stat is absurd. it's his highest stat in dnd, and i keep that trait through every single au. he's like a cat

this isn't important but i do think it's funny: in canon he is an accountant. just a normal accountant. and is also causing the in-universe equivalent of the prime minister to have an affair.

i also have the following aus in the works for sy, in case anyone was interested in asking about any specific au :3

mafia au: i've been posting about this one! sy is the somewhat-indentured assassin to aristides, head of a mafia. celestinus is aristides' bodyguard and general assistant, kinda, and also serves as the rapid response medic (when sy's done something stupid)

trigun au: come on, there's a fratricidal older twin brother, how could i not? this one is actually super fleshed out, i keep meaning to buckle down and write it.

borderlands au: i actually fucking love borderlands so much you guys, if you ask about this one i'll be eternally grateful. you can have my firstborn.

venovea (my dnd world) au: this one involves more worldbuilding lore, since it's my original dnd world, but holy moly if you ask about this one, you can have my secondborn too. short description: he was raised in a cult, got his siblings out, and is now the divine champion to the god of vengeance. recently, he accidentally started a world war (oops)

mer au: he is a mer. aristides and celestinus attempt to domesticate him (not literally, they're just trying to make sure this rare marine animal has the enrichment and habitat it needs) (they are marine biologists). shenanigans ensue. somewhat accidental baby acquisition too!

if you made it to the end of this post, thank you so much for listening!! please take this gold medal and slice of pie as a token of my appreciation 🪙 🥧♥️

tagging @whumpbug, hope this wasn't too long of a read haha

[theflyingfeeling]

💖 it's here, it's pink, it's sparkly, and full of fluff 💖

Hiiiiii and welcome to witness my attempt at an Olli/Allu Advent Calendar, in which I'll give you ~a cute little something~ about these two idiots in love almost every day until December 24! My plan is to use prompts from this list to either write a fic based on the prompt or just some good ol' delulu thoughts if all else fails. I cannot guarantee there'll be a post literally every day, but I'm really excited to try this out and I thank you for your support along the way in advance 💝

The biggest thanks and a million hugs go to one of my favourite human beings @kraeuterhexchen for making the adorable banner!! I mean helloooooo?? 😭 Go show them some love ❣️

For December 1, the prompt list is titled One True Pairing Moments, and the prompt I chose was 'calling just to hear their voice' 🥺 You can read the fic below, I hope you like it <3

.

PS. Even though this is an advent calendar of sorts, I'm not planning on making this particularly Christmassy. I hope no one minds terribly!

~

Falling for Aleksi had, in a way, sneaked up on Olli, at least if he fooled himself a little. He could pretend he didn’t feel any different about the man than he did about, say, Joonas or Tommi, but that strategy only worked for so long – that is to say, approximately until Aleksi as much as smiled softly at him from across a room or bumped his shoulder into his jovially when walking down the street and Olli would feel his breath getting caught in his throat or stumble in his words, his tongue tangled like shoelaces, which was so unlike him as well and frustrated him to no end. It really took a special kind of fool to not only develop some level of feelings for a friend, a colleague, a bandmate for Christ’s sake, but also become so hopelessly enamored with him that you rolled awake in bed in the dead of night, grabbing your phone and tossing it back on the nightstand again and again because you couldn’t decide whether or not you should, on some erratic 2 o’clock impulse, call him to let him know he was the very reason for your insomnia. 

Turning on his back, Olli groaned (only a little desperately) as he remembered losing himself in the lingering hug they had shared just before the arrivals lobby at the airport, inhaling Aleksi’s scent and wishing they wouldn’t have to go home just yet, even if Olli was more than ready to finally sleep in his own bed again. Ironically, ever since they had returned home from tour, Olli had spent night after sleepless night missing Aleksi terribly: his stupid jokes and playful banter that bordered on being flirtatious if Olli allowed himself the benefit of delusion; his quick, subtle smiles that probably meant nothing; his little touches Olli hoped meant something; his smell and his touch and the softness of his hair at the back of his neck, compared to which the blanket Olli was grasping in his fist was like sandpaper. (How he had come to know of the qualities of Aleksi’s hair in such detail, he preferred not to dwell on too much to save himself from the heartache, so let’s just leave it at ‘stressful, emotional week far away from home’ and ‘a little too much to drink’).

Above all, Olli missed Aleksi’s voice. He hadn’t even thought that was possible, until the other morning when Olli had woken up to a voice message Aleksi had left just hours earlier, rambling about a song idea he had gotten in the middle of the night – something he did from time to time – and Olli had spent the next several minutes replaying it over and over again as he had lied in bed procrastinating getting up and and instead closing his eyes to better imagine Aleksi lying there beside him, turned on his side to face Olli, talking to him sleepily like they often did when they shared a room on tour and were just too lazy to join others at breakfast. Much like the hug at the airport, Olli wished those moments would have lasted way longer than they did, often ending abruptly when either of their phones would go off with Santeri’s name on the screen, a passive-aggressive interruption to the soft, low tone of Aleksi’s early-morning thoughts. (Sometimes, when Olli was lucky enough, he had been blessed with the bliss of feeling the light touch of a fingertip tracing along his collarbone, cut short just as frustratingly by their well-meaning tour manager politely enquiring whether the two of them had plans of dragging themselves downstairs for some toast and coffee, or if they’d rather starve until lunchtime, for which he wasn’t at all sure they’d even have time that day.)

The lovesick idiot that he was, his thumb hovered over the ‘play’ button of Aleksi’s voice message, probably for the millionth time that week. The chest-carving hesitation turned into a heart flip when he noticed Aleksi was online.

Then Aleksi began to type, and Olli held his breath the entire time until a new message appeared in the thread, anticipation holding him by his throat.

You awake?

Olli exhaled and typed his affirmative reply, leaving out the reason why.

He blinked at the screen, waiting for Aleksi to ask him a random question that clearly couldn’t wait until morning, or perhaps talk about something related to another late-night Twitch stream (from what Olli had gathered, Aleksi had been doing a lot of those recently, and with his last remaining braincell Olli had managed to resist the temptation to watch every single one of them, because he knew that if he did, it would only dig his grave of pining and longing deeper, seeing Aleksi smile and giggle about but not being able to do that with him or snuggle up next to him when he was wearing that flannel Olli often used as a blanket in the tour bus). But instead of another text appearing on the screen, Olli’s phone began to vibrate in his hand, and it took him an embarrassingly long while to understand it was because Aleksi was calling him. 

“Hi,” he sighed when he finally collected himself enough to speak. He prayed he’d be able to hear what Aleksi was going to say from the thumping heartbeat echoing in his ears.

“Hi,” a soft voice said. “Sorry, I know it’s late…”

“No, not at all,” Olli hurried to say, “I mean, I wasn’t sleeping. Not even close, actually.” Part of him hoped Aleksi wouldn’t ask about it, but in some foolhardy way the possibility intrigued him. 

Nothing much, he would have likely said anyway, but what would happen if he told Aleksi how it really was? That he squeezed his pillow imagining it was him instead, or wailed into it because something had reminded him of a moment-that-was-probably-not-a-Moment™ they had shared? What would Aleksi say if he knew Olli sometimes touched himself the way Aleksi had touched him That One Night they never talked about? The only obstacle between Olli and that knowledge was a bottomless ocean of cold sweat and cowardice, and Olli had never been a great swimmer.

“So, ummm…,” Olli said when Aleksi’s end stayed silent. “What’s up?”

A short breath of laughter sounded through the phone line.

“Honestly? I don’t know, I… It’s just been a… weird week, I guess.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, like… my head’s just been so full of… everything and… I’ve been so busy and kinda tense and… fuck, this is going to sound crazy,” Aleksi laughed that brief laugh again, although to Olli it didn’t sound particularly cheerful. Tired, more like. Strained, somehow. Not sad, but definitely a little troubled, and Olli intended to find out why.

“I’m all for crazy, you know.” Olli hoped his sorry attempt to lighten Aleksi’s mood would work, and so he smiled in relief when he heard Aleksi chuckle at his comment.

“I know,” Aleksi said softly, in that tone of voice that had Olli melt against his bedsheets. “So yeah, it’s been a rough week, but… in between all that stupid shit, I’ve been thinking a lot about… umm… well, the tour and– and… about you, for some reason,” (the troubled laugh made its return) “and… yeah. That’s sort of helped me a lot recently.”

Olli listened to the words carefully, not fully believing what he was hearing, yet clinging on to them until they were all but swirling around in his otherwise empty head like dry leaves in October wind.

“And tonight I just couldn’t fucking sleep for some reason and nothing I did seemed to help and so I thought I’d call you. And I’m–” If it hadn’t been dead silent otherwise, Olli wouldn’t have heard the shaky breath Aleksi paused to take, “I’m sorry I’m calling you at this hour and bothering you with this all but I guess I just… wanted to hear your voice. To see if that would help.”

“Does it?” Olli asked. Aleksi’s confession had made him clasp his blanket close to his chest, as if that would do anything about his rapidly beating heart.

“Yeah. It does. So maybe just… keep talking?”

Despite his mind living a life of its own, completely unfit to form a single coherent thought, for Aleksi’s sake Olli tried his best to think of something to say, but everything he came up with was something he was not ready to tell him quite yet. 

“Uuummmm…” he said to buy himself some time, but while he waited for his useless brain and mouth to form any actual words, Aleksi spoke again.

“Fuck, I’m– I’m sorry, this is too weird, I shouldn’t have– I’ll let you go back to–”

“I miss you,” Olli blurted before Aleksi would hang up on him. He squeezed his eyes shut when Aleksi went silent, too silent for too long for it to mean any good.

The line stayed open, however, which Olli took as a positive sign, even if the seconds during which all Olli could hear was Aleksi's quiet breathing seemed endless.

“And I you,” Aleksi finally replied. “A little too much, probably, or at least that’s what it feels like,” he chuckled. Olli almost missed the quiet sniff that followed.

He had to steel himself for his next question.

“What do you mean?”

“Just… forget it.” Aleksi said quietly. Contrary to Aleksi’s request, Olli knew he was going to all but ‘forget it’ for the next 3-5 business days; mentally he booked all his evenings as well as most of his mornings and noons for pondering what exactly had been in Aleksi’s mind in that moment or why he had sounded so sombre, almost disappointed. He’d probably never come to any satisfactory conclusion about it though, at least not without a little help from Aleksi himself. 

A ridiculous idea popped into his head, and before he could stop himself, the words flooded out of his mouth.

“Do you wanna come over some time? To hang out? When your schedule’s a little less tight, I mean.” He sucked on his lips and closed his eyes as he waited for Aleksi’s answer, ready to hang up the moment he’d decline the offer on some obvious and logical reason for why Aleksi couldn’t possibly make nor want to take a trip to the north to see him, such as ‘didn’t we just spend over two months on the road together?’ or ‘damn, buddy, I miss you alright but not quite that much, I’ve done enough sitting in public transportation for one year, thank you very much lol’ or ‘what about Rilla?’

“You could take Rilla with you, you know.” Olli hurried to say, just in case, the deranged part of his brain thinking there might be a chance Aleksi might be at least considering it.

“Oh! Well, umm… I actually might have time next week? If– if you’re actually being serious about this.”

Funny you should ask, Aleksi; I’ve actually never been more serious about anything in my entire life than I am about having you here with me so that I can hold you and be held by you and see your face when I wake up in the morning and say goodnight to your annoyingly cute face instead of via text message and maybe, if the stars are in position and the northern wind won’t discourage me too much, I might actually be brave enough to torment you with the knowledge of just how miserable I’ve been since we last saw each other.

“I think it would be cool,” he said, because he had a feeling what he wanted to say would’ve been a tad too much and sudden. “I mean, if you’re up for it, of course. I understand if you can’t make it though, I know you have all those side projects.”

“No, I think it might actually do me some good to get out of the capital area for change.” Then there was a muffled ‘ouch’, followed by a laugh that sounded much brighter than any of the other ones Olli had heard from Aleksi that night. “Sorry, correction, it might do us some good. Rilla just told me she’s most definitely coming too. Rilla, stop nibbling on my toes!”

Olli smiled tiredly at the mental image that was painted in his mind of Aleksi and Rilla cuddling in bed, both minding their own business from what it seemed while still minding each other as well, very much indeed.

“I’ll be sure to set up a bed for her in the guest room.”

“The guest room? Do you not know her at all? If she’s not getting the master bedroom, she’ll ruin all your rugs and most of your shoes. Probably also gossip about you to all the neighbourhood dogs. And she’s brutal.”

Olli held his stomach as he laughed, tears almost forming in the corners of his eyes. In his defence, it was late and he was finally becoming tired, thus too far gone to help himself, let alone feel embarrassed about being in stitches about something Aleksi had said that was only mildly amusing. (It wasn’t the first time that had happened either, and likely not the last time.)

“So yeah, ummm, I can take a look at some flight options for next week and let you know, alright? I’m gonna let you sleep now and… I should get some myself too.”

Olli wanted to tell Aleksi he’d love to stay up chatting until dawn, but the yawn he let out when he opened his mouth to speak implied Aleksi had a point.

“Yeah, let me know. And… thanks for calling, I… you have no idea how much I needed this tonight.”

That was as close to a confession as Olli was able to get as of now.

“Probably not half as much as I did.”

Olli chuckled at Aleksi’s response, mostly to hide his own agony.

If only you knew. If only I knew how to tell you.

It didn’t take long for Olli to doze off after they hung up, and when he woke up to the kids from next door having a snowball fight under his window in the morning, he noticed new messages from Aleksi, sent half an hour after their phone call had ended, complete with screen captions of airplane schedules.

Would these days work for you? I might be free all week actually 😇

Olli cuddled into his pillow while typing his reply, hoping it wouldn’t wake up Aleksi.

yeah I’m free as well. I’ll pick you two up from the airport 🖤

From then on, Olli started counting the days until he’d see Aleksi again.

[nsk96]

Hey y’all,

I’m gonna go on hiatus again for a month, avoiding all social media. Making a proclamation like this seems to be the only thing that is effective “enough” (meaning that at some point, I’ll probably break the vow of staying away, but a few days away is better than none).

I’ve been struggling with my mental health due to everything in my life being too overwhelming for me to handle, which you can probably tell by how many times I vented for January. As a result, I’ve resorted to doom-scrolling across 3 different apps (Tumblr included) to help me feel better temporarily.

Overall though, it makes me feel much worse because I feel guilty about wasting time and procrastinating, and I’ve lost quite a few hours that I could have used for studying. (As if I wasn’t procrastinating enough without social media. Without social media, my procrastination has always been 4 walls and my thoughts, and whatever activity I could do at whatever ungodly hour of the night).

Then I’m also saddened by the fact that writing my fan fictions or novels, or even reading, would have been healthier coping mechanisms. And I’m always frustrated about not having time for these things (though the writing is understandable because I can’t write when I’m mentally burnt out…and I’m past burnt out since 2022).

I’ll probably still stop by to vent since this site is my safest mode of diary-keeping. I will miss you all, my mutuals and followers and seeing your posts and your tags under your reblogs💙

It will also sting to be cut off from my only sources of news for such a long period, but maybe it will allow me to focus more on the crisis here at home until I finish prepare my first-aid/medical kit, go-bag, and escape plan. I still have classes to get through and then I start rotations near the end of March.

I don’t know how long things at home will be “stable” enough. I found out from my mom a couple days ago that my dad found the handgun that was hidden (the one mentioned on a previous diary entry). Neither of us has asked him about it. We just know that it’s no longer where it was and neither of us have moved it.

Whatever happens, just know that I’m determined to come back and determined to live as long as the universe wills it. Toodles for now, stay safe, stay hydrated, stay awesome ❤️

(My dad has been discreetly digging through their room searching for the handgun for so long that it was only a matter of time until he found it. Another instance of my mom not listening to me. I told her the day that she and I previously found it, to let me store it in my room but she refused. Now he has it. I don’t know what she was thinking making it easy for him like that)

[sancta-seraphina]

Can yo u talk about some of the changes please? Just curious! but only if their not too spoilery

Hi anon,

I want to start this by saying I really did love the old 2019 version of Holiest. I think it's better now, but I loved that original version.

Actually, the longevity of the project is something a lot of people might not know about, so I wouldn't mind commenting on that, but after I answer the question.

About the chapters themselves:

One of the immediate changes for previous readers is that the entirety of the first chapter has been rewritten. It is much longer.

Chapters 2 through 5 have been reworked to accommodate for the removal of some characters (a separate topic).

Chapters 6, 7, and 8... I decided I didn't like, so those have been rewritten too. The content itself stayed the same. I just didn't like the writing, I felt it no longer reflected my writing style. I kept some things where I could suffer them, though. They also have some sparkly new scenes, which I will talk about below.

Chapter 9 is currently planned to be the same, however, I may just decide that I hate it. In which case, it will suffer the same fate as 6, 7, and 8 (same content, just rewritten).

As mentioned, a huge change was the removal of some of the characters who were, in my opinion, complicating and distracting from the story. This also included reducing the number of POVs (some scenes were simply rewritten to be from a different POV). Currently we have Lucifer as the main POV of the story for obvious reasons, with other scenes from the POV of Beelzebub, Jehoel, and newly, Metatron. The only thing that upsets me about this is that those characters who were removed were female, and my cast does not satisfy me in terms of having a lot of female characters.

Metatron is another significant change. Previously, he was only in three (3) scenes in the entire story, because I didn't actually need him until the last chapters despite him being so important (unlike The Harrowing, where he has a prominent role, Lord save us). But Metatron became really popular on my instagram, so I decided to work in more scenes with him and also to write from his POV [which you can get a preview of in today's excerpt].

The plot? Is the same. The worldbuilding? Also the same.

The map? I'm ignoring it (by which I mean procrastinating), BUT I've also made additional maps for the novel that can be previewed on my [patreon]. The illustrations? Uh, are not going to be the same and I'm kicking myself for it.

The method of publication? Totally different, it's no longer free—it's going to be a physical book now.

Anyways I hope that answered your question without spoiling too much.

The other thing that I wanted to discuss is the longevity of the project.

Although I'm putting a lot of pressure on myself right now to get the novel back out there, Holiest is nothing new, both to my long-term followers (hello to anyone who knew me in grad school or earlier, and also to all those who re-followed me upon changing blogs), and also to my life in general. It didn't have a name until 2016 or 2017 (I forget which), but my main character, yes I'm talking about Lucifer, literally dates back to 2007 and I still have my first drawing of him with that timestamp. Maybe I'll be brave enough to share it one day.

And the story has always had the same themes, even from its beginning days in '07, '08, and '09: with a heavy emphasis on mental illness/psychosis (of the devil in particular), angels in Hell, and Revelation-inspired visions/hallucinations.

As mentioned, the novel itself was completed in 2018 (I did not write during college/grad school due to lack of time, and I graduated in 2015. I do have endless artworks of the characters from throughout my time in college) and I began publishing in August of 2019. Also my patreon itself dates back to 2017.

But I like to take my time when creating, don't outsource my illustrations to others (please understand how much time art takes), and I am a company dancer in a ballet. So yes, it has been over five years now since first putting it online.

Anyways, although it's been updated, it is not changing in terms of what it is, it has been here for a VERY long time (which others can attest to), and it is also NOT going away.

[dairy-farmer]

So I've recently made a new AO3 account (completely separate from my main one, different email and everything lmao) bc I want to start writing porn, and I was wondering if I could have your permission to use some of your asks as like, prompts or ideas? Especially ones that were my own (this is PP!Tim Anon btw, and I've sent in. A lot of asks without signing them off as that, like I could make an entire list and it would probably hit double digits of which asks you've gotten that were mine lmao)!! I would ofc credit you and your blog! I don't know how to imbed links to the individual asks (I'll still try but I can't promise anything lmao), but I'll at least mention your Tumblr name and AO3 account!

I really wanna try my hand at some random, filthy oneshots without a bunch of world building or context, bc that's something I tend to get hung up on in my writing, and I wanna stick to some short and sweet smut oneshots about Tim being a pregnant, underage nympho slut, or a puppy factory, or a cocksleeve for the rogues of Gotham and their goons, all that good stuff!!

On that thought tho, do you have any pieces of advice for like, consistent writing, or motivation to write? Bc that's my biggest struggle tbh is sitting down to start writing. Usually once I start I can churn out a couple thousand words in one sitting, but I gotta start first, ya know? Any words of wisdom would mean a lot ❤️❤️❤️

answered out of order:

yes of course❤️❤️❤️!!!!!!!!!!!! you don't believe how happy that makes me to hear!!!! so many of the asks i get sent are just so brilliant and well done and it would make me so beyond happy to know people started writing or got inspired to write out their ideas!!! and i'm sure that people who submitted other posts you get inspiration from would love to see others expand further on their asks ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!

one shots are a really great way to really get back into a sort of groove of writing because it can be shorter, the plot may be not as dense or complex as something from a multichap (though you can also write VERY long one shots that are incredibly detailed too), and it can be mainly composed of "fun" writing in the sense that you don't have to do buildup for bigger things like you would in longer multichaps or those that are heavily plot driven. i totally get struggling to get motivation to write, for me it was always like i had to wait for my brain to be turned "on" or in a working mode for me to get any writing for my fics done which meant it usually only happened when i was studying for exams or doing projects for school. however for me that meant when i was in the 'off season' like breaks from school it meant that even though i had time, i no longer had motivation to write. that's something i'm still working to break myself out of and i think one think that is pretty effective is thinking of a scene or piece of dialogue i'm excited to write and look forward to getting to so it motivates to write to reach it. that works sometimes, other times i think of a reward i'll get myself once i finally finish. something like candy or some snack or food i don't often get or go out of my way to get. and another thing that works for me sometimes is basically planning the fic, for a short one shot the major bullet points of what happen would be a short list and so it would pretty much trick your brain into thinking 'wow a short task list i can do all of these pretty quickly/complete them without too much hassel or procrastination!'.

ultimately i think writing one shots takes a lot of pressure off since as a single chapter there's basically no further commitment needed like it would during a multi chapter fic which can be very relieving for people who get easily stressed or pressured by commitments with no hard deadline.

im very happy to hear you'll be expanding on your tim ideas and look forward to them!!!!!! also if you need any help with embedding on aow the reference collection on ao3 is really helpful and its where i learned to embed links with this tutorial ❤️❤️❤️❤️

[catsandgoodbooks]

20 Questions for Writers

Tagged by @bleue-flora (I am sorry it took so long it's been like a month I was procrastinating)

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

22, because my brain hates to stay focused on one idea at a time and I just have to make everything worse. I've got a lot more half-formed ideas and three-paragraph beginnings of fanfiction too <3

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

124,920 - that's...a lot. And it's only been about a year, so yay!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Dream SMP. I'm lurking in a couple other fandoms (mostly the Locked Tomb and Dragon Age), but I haven't written anything for those yet.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1. Off the Planned Course

Not that surprising because it's one of the fics I've been writing the longest, is the longest of my actual stories (so not counting Whumptober stuff), and it also has the most people reading it (I blame including the Syndicate for that). It's probably my favorite too, so the validation is really nice (even if I keep getting writer-blocked by it).

2. Unfortunate Circumstances

Also one of the long ones, so it makes sense that it's on this list. Also, literally the second Dream SMP fic idea I ever had, so it's great that it's still going.

3. Easier Said Than Done

This one I kind of feel bad about - I decided to change a few details a while ago and I'm still not done with editing the old stuff so I can start on new chapters, so I really haven't been writing much for it recently (i.e in the past six months). Maybe this will get me to work on it again but I wouldn't hold out hope. It's not abandoned, but it's still basically on hiatus.

4. Shared Scars

I really like this one, but I didn't really expect anyone would read it because it was just a random AU with no basis in canon about two side characters, y'know? It's just really fun to write.

5. Dive Deep Into The Dark

This one is the one that surprised me, because it's just a collection of Whumptober oneshots that I wrote in like an hour each. But, hey, apparently people liked that, so yay?

5. Do you reply to comments? Why or why not?

Whenever I can, because they're taking the time out of their day to read my stuff and going the extra step of leaving a comment, and because I just like talking about my stories and stuff <3

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Okay, this and the next question are kind of difficult because I am allergic to finishing anything, ever, and that means I have to stick to oneshots, but I'd say either everything I've ever written for a Whumptober prompt (because those are all terrible, basically) or Old Habits Die Hard (Old Reliances Die Harder) because it's an angsty canon-compliant (ish) oneshot where nothing is resolved and everything is just terrible. In my longer fics, I don't really plan for tragic endings, because the ending should be happy even if the journey there wasn't, or else the whole things sad and there's not really any point.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Again, only oneshots count for this, so I'd probably say burn the scorecards, balance out the scales, because the ending is hopeful and probably the best possible outcome via rivals duo.

8. Do you get hate on your fic?

Not really, which is great. The most I ever get is a confused comment or someone making assumptions, and that's all fine.

9. Do you write smut?

No, and I don't plan to.

10. Do you write crossovers?

No, but I have some ideas I might write that involve crossovers and I might write them eventually.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I have not <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic?

No, but I would like to in the future.

14. What‘s your all-time favorite ship?

Drunz, for sure. It's the ship that really got me into the fandom and I've always liked that sort of toxic codependence even though they're terrible for each other.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

All of them? Well, besides that, I'd probably have to say Off the Planned Course, because, although I really love it, I have no idea how to end that thing or when.

16. What’s your writing strengths?

Absolutely no idea, maybe internal monologues? It's hard to evaluate your own writing.

17. What’s your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue. 100% dialogue. I get in my head about if it sounds natural or if anyone would ever say that or if I'm writing a character right and then it turns about clunky because I'm too busy worrying about it.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I don't have a problem with it, but you should provide translations in that situation so the readers have context and know what's going on.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Dream SMP

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written?

Probably Off the Planned Course, there are some chapters were I was just having the time of my life writing that thing even if they were immediately followed by two months of struggle.

Not tagging anyone because it's been ages and I'm bad at doing anything quickly so yeah. Also, it's my birthday today and time is really fucking weird <3