#— ctqy ╰૮₍ ⸝⸝•̥\./•̥⸝⸝ ₎ა╯

[mejaemin]

como te quiero yo - h.js

chapter one ˖⁺‧₊˚✦

wc ✿₊⊹ 1.3k

synopsis ✿₊⊹ the relationship between rising artist joshua hong and you, popular beauty influencer, has finally come to light. this story follows you and your lover, living life happily despite whatever anyone says in the outside world.

warnings ✿₊⊹ established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of hate/criticism, this is not an idol au, allusions to breaking up, it doesn’t happen tho !!! i love love and writing this made me feel single

author's note ✿₊⊹ happy birthday to shua !!! ఇ ◝‿◜ ఇ i love this man so bad its not even funny. i couldn’t put it into words even if i tried. here’s a little something to celebrate his day ♡ it’s a little sad for a birthday gift so maybe (maybe) i’ll write smth happier for a proper one ??? until now enjoy this !!!

main masterlist | ctqy masterlist

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it’s been just under two weeks since you and joshua have publicly announced your relationship and he’s already gone offline. it took months of discussion and procrastination out of fear, but with the support of both your teams, you decided to go public. it’s been almost a year since you got together, and it only feels right to say something. not everyone was happy, but you backed the decision up with the very unapologetic fact that you both were adults, fully developed ones at that, and to say either of you to really be single at this age would be a lie.

to say that joshua’s nerves were completely under control, you’d be lying. it’s not that he’s worried about disappointing anyone (though that’s still upsetting for him to think about), it’s more about the chance of fans not accepting it. they can whine and complain all they want, but for them to do so and then additionally ignore or stop being a fan would break his heart. it was already iffy for him to do something like this so early in his career, so for him to try something like this was quite dangerous.

don’t even get him started on you. you’ve already been popular on the internet for a while, and had millions of supporters across all platforms. you were loved by many, enough to feel comfortable with sharing the news. you waited for joshua to be ready, however, out of respect. when you first got together you revealed that you were no longer single, and for his own comfortability you kept it at that. ever supportive of his feelings, you stayed patient and waited for him to be ready to reveal whatever else he wanted to.

contrary to him, you were handling it well. with lots of experience, you were able to keep calm and ignore everyone’s negative comments. there were a few times where you were upset by comments towards your relationship, but again you weren’t afraid to clap back. joshua stayed silent, still afraid of upsetting anyone, but through the many couple photos and replies on live streams, you made sure everyone knew you weren’t quitting because a few people were unhappy.

enduring the past few weeks of this is what led you to where you are now, sitting across from each other at the dinner table of your shared home in silence as you eat. joshua’s non-dominant arm is stretched across the table holding your hand, his thumb leaving comforting strokes on the back of your palm. when you look at where you’re connected, the silver bracelet matching your own glimmers under the soft lighting of your dining room.

you’re really trying your hardest to stay strong for your lover, but it’s hard when you worry so much, especially with how he has yet to let you in. this is why you stay dead silent while eating, sacrificing your regular chitchat to make sure you don’t break. however, joshua puts his fork down and speaks up, calling your name in a soft whisper.

when you look up, he continues. “do you think we’re doing the right thing?”

you’re about to ask what he means when his eyes flicker to your bracelets and back up. the tears pool on your waterline as you respond. “us? of course we are, joshua. are you really thinking what i think you are?” the hurt in your voice couldn’t be hidden even if you tried.

his eyes widen and he immediately begins shaking his head. “n- no, baby, of course not. i just.. was now the right time?” when you finally manage to clear the tears in your eyes and look at him, he’s got a troubled look in his eyes as he bites at his lip.

you let go of his hand so you can get out of your seat. walking over to stand between his legs, you cradle his face in your palms and pull his lip from his teeth with your thumb. on instinct he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his chin on your stomach. you run your finger over his bottom lip, gliding over the teeth marks and reddened spots from being bitten at. you lean down to kiss his forehead, returning to your previous position to run your fingers through his hair.

your face is so full of love, trying so hard to show him how real your feelings are. your hands caress his skin with utmost care, knowing him well enough to be sure of the fact that there’s so much doubt and anxiety in his head that needs help being removed. he’s still new to this lifestyle, and so you coddle him that much more as he makes his adjustment. unfortunately, the start of his career was not so kind to him. you can only hope it gets better.

after a few beats of silence, joshua hides his face in your stomach, and you keep quiet to continue massaging his scalp. just a minute later you feel water begin to seep through your shirt, and his body shudders as he cries silently. you pull away, kneeling in front of him.

the sight in front of you makes your heart hurt, seeing the way he’s avoiding eye contact as tears continue to run down his cheeks. you bring your hands to either side of his face, thumbs gliding across his skin gently while wiping tears away.

“oh, love…” you start. just hearing your words has his head dipping down into his hands, his emotions getting the best of him.

you get up, leading him to your shared bedroom. laying down first, you invite him into your arms before covering your bodies in the comforter. he lays there on your chest for a few moments before clearing his throat, having calmed down.

“i just.. can’t stop reading comments, and i’m-“ he pauses, taking a deep breath. you return to stroking his hair, holding him close to your chest. “i’m worried that they’re right.”

you kiss his crown. “about what?”

“they think you could do better. that you could find someone bigger than me.” he speaks softly, almost mumbling.

“that’s not true, you know that.” you’re immediately shooting the idea down, refusing to let it even become something bigger.

“but seriously. i’m an inconvenience to you. if you were with someone who was as popular as you, you’d probably get support. but everyone’s mad because i’m just some random guy.” he’s sitting up now, looking into your eyes. it’s always been a thing for him to speak with you directly about serious things.

you grab his hands, holding them tightly in your own. the little magnet attached to the end of your bracelets comes together, and you can’t help but smile at it. “you’re not just some random guy, you’re my amazing boyfriend who could never ever be an inconvenience to me. i don’t care about how popular you are, because you make me feel so happy. you’re literally everything i could ever ask for, and truthfully, i’d rather have you than anyone of my status because they’re all assholes.”

he nods, choosing to stay silent. you squeeze his hands in silent reassurance, and he does the same. you speak up once again, “you don’t inconvenience me. you make my life infinitely better, shua. please don’t listen to them, okay?”

he takes one hand away to wipe his eyes one last time before looking at you, smiling softly. “okay.” he pulls you into a hug, your heart-shaped magnets splitting, your real ones connecting in your embrace. “thank you so much darling, for everything. i’m very lucky to have you.”

you pull your head away to kiss him, soft and full of love. “of course, love. i’ll always be here for you, and we’ll survive this. i’ll make sure of it.”

he hums, not responding in favor of keeping you in his arms. you stay just like that for the rest of the night, in each other’s arms. it started out rough, but ended so much better. words of affirmation are all that were needed to begin the process of healing wounds, and it proves that you’re right. nobody is being inconvenienced, and your love runs deep enough to prove that this is only a minor road bump, and everything will smooth out in the near future.

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taglist ✿₊⊹ empty… 💔

[mejaemin]

como te quiero yo - h.js

masterlist ˖⁺‧₊˚✦

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

pairing ✿₊⊹ artist!joshua x influencer!reader

synopsis ✿₊⊹ the relationship between rising artist joshua hong and you, popular beauty influencer, has finally come to light. this story follows you and your lover, living life happily despite whatever anyone says in the outside world.

extra ✿₊⊹ inspired by kali uchis’s song como te quiero yo, a song about drama and trials coming to a relationship, yet it is all trivial and the love being shared is what will help you stay strong though any issues.

author's note ✿₊⊹ urgggg i love kali uchis so much !! she has such a beautiful mind and admirable mindset, so i needed to write something inspired by a song off my favorite album from her <3 if you don’t listen to her or haven’t heard this song before, i highly recommend it !! the album is called red moon in venus <33 anyway, happy birthday joshua !!! this is my present to him, my love

warnings ✿₊⊹ established relationship, angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of hate/criticism, this is not an idol au, allusions to breaking up, will be updated as chapters release !!!

wc ✿₊⊹ 1.3k (chapter one)

taglist ✿₊⊹ (comment to be added !!) @hearts4itoshi

be aware of slow updates !!!

main masterlist

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

╭ • ┈┈ ╰૮₍ ⸝⸝•̥\./•̥⸝⸝ ₎ა╯ ┈┈ • ┈╮

chapter one ↓

dicen que no me conviene / to fall in love with you

chapter two ↓

sin ti no puedo estar (loading..)

chapter three ↓

shh…

╰┈ • ┈┈┈┈ ୨୧ ┈┈┈ • ┈╯

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