#even though i feel a bit awkward about it lol
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Oh God.. uuhhhh.. been a minute since I tried one of these..
Skipping 1, hate first person, just can't do it, not even read it.
2 is 100% AndlĂ tkyn. There's some issues here and there but it will always be my pride and joy.
Due to not posting on AO3 (even though I really should be), 3 is mostly ineffective. Except Wattpad has tags. I'd say UTAU, dragons and crossover.
4, lol. Literally. Lately I keep using that (only when texting others) and it's bothering me. I feel like a simpleton because of how much I'm saying that, eugh.
5 I've honestly learned a lot while researching fics. For one, I found out lantana berries are toxic to humans yet taste like blueberries, and I have them growing in my backyard. They're actually my favorite plant! I love their flowers; so pretty, and they have such a uniquely funky smell as well. Part of why I adore them, it stands out so much without being a bad smell. And the leaves have a sort of citrus smell? I love lantanas.
6 I don't know. I've thought about requests due to the money, but I feel like I'd either struggle to start writing it or get carried away with it- or straight up not finish in a reasonable timeframe. Commissions? Like art commissions? Maybe in a few years when I'm more confident in my skills and also somehow have a drawing tablet to properly draw digitally. Something like that.
7 Either or. I love making sickeningly sweet coffee or various different teas.
8 Is honestly hard to decide! Off the top of my head I can think of Dust initially meeting Killer with the hilariously absurd question of "What do you mean you don't have a mouth? How are you speaking right now? Your ass?"
9 Believe it or not it was basically when I first got a phone and commented a short story in the comments of a YouTube video. Someone replied with a suggestion of Wattpad. The rest is history, lol.
10 Off the top of my head I can't think of anything beyond something very specific for the fic I've been thinking about again lately, NinjagaĂŤsia. Only time I've written outside of the UT fandom too, I specifically want to get around to writing that version of Zane more. What I had planned for him is fun as hell. An absolute badass.
11 Lots of comments, votes and people enjoying it. Which, continuing the above mention, NinjagaĂŤsia doesn't qualify for. Pretty unsuccessful, but for once I don't really care.
12 Undertale AU's. I doubt I'll ever leave, either.
13 No. Hell, my ultimate fic of AndlĂ tkyn was written throughout the later half of highschool. I am technically working on an original story on the sidelines, I call it my worldbuilding project because I'm building up so much lore in this world before I actually touch on the story itself outside of a vague idea. About 60-ish different species of people, including the were-diseases. Last I counted, anyway. I'll be working on it for years, I know it, and I don't mind that either.
14 Comments talking about my fics on said fics. Actual interactions! It brings me joy. đ§Ą
15 My family is well aware. I don't bring up a lot of details but the last time I went into vague detail with my mother it was over a scene in AndlĂ tkyn (no direct spoilers) and she interpreted it weirdly and now she teases me by asking if I'm killing babies again! A bit awkward..
16 Actually finishing a damn story. I don't mind the periods of no writing until I get inspired again, but what annoys me is when I can't seem to finish anything. Only ever finished AndlĂ tkyn. I still have yet to write anything for the sequel to it, either! ZeradelsĂda is still just a bunch of loose plot points..
17 I am semi successfully writing benevolent eldritch horror. It doesn't intend harm, but it is truly.. horrifying nonetheless. The uncertainty of someone knowing he died, feeling his own heart stop beating, and feeling something OTHER seep inside and force it to start again, pulsing in his veins, fusing with his anatomy, permanently altering both him and itself into something completely unknowable.. I'm rambling. Anyone who hasn't seen my Wattpad, read Awakened. If you don't mind ridiculously long fics, read AndlĂ tkyn too!
18 I have at least 7 I mostly expect to finish, with at least 4 others just kind of.. there. I don't think I've posted any of those, either. I also have ideas inspired by dreams that I'd love to write down someday, though don't really expect to actually codify.
19 I kind of just don't. I work on different projects as the inspiration hits, take a backseat for a month or so, then come back to either the same project or a different one.
20 Hmmm.. Hard to think of something specific. I'm leaning towards stuff in AndlĂ tkyn. I don't really have a favorite kiss scene because I don't do romance. I write adventure! AndlĂ tkyn has some side romance though- not that any of it is my favorite. Platonic stuff, though.. I'd say my favorite is honestly Lust and Alter incidentally befriending each other and becoming venting buddies. It's the cutest thing, their friendship is adorable and wholesome despite the background angst. I didn't write nearly as much of them as deserved.
21 Honestly it's mostly lack of inspiration that I'm pretty sure stems from depression. If I could get an ADHD prescription or depression meds I'd probably be a lot better but like. I am completely broke. So much so that those issues aren't even in the top 10 of pressing problems solved with money.
22 Given I've literally only done it once.. not really. I guess I post it around everywhere I can think of in excitement?
23 That one continuous dream I had that went on over a month centered on a Nightmare that was freshly corrupted. He was honestly so nerdy and adorable despite putting on the brave and mildly "evil" front. The boy. Him. Goddamnit I want to write that at some point.
24 Honestly I can't think of anything for this one.
25 Oh yeah, I can't think of anything off the top of my head but there's a lot I'd like to fix in all of my stories, lol.
26 Kind of? It's a more recent development, did it for ZeradelsĂda which still has yet to be written, did it for that NinjagaĂŤsia too. A little bit of a broad, even vaguer outline for things I want to happen in Awakened, too? More like events, no particular order or connection.
27 A few of those WIP's that haven't been posted... Okay technically just one. There's also the very first fic I wrote that is subsequently the only one I've ever deleted.
28 Angstiest often coincides with cursed for some reason, so I'll just go with the ending of AndlĂ tkyn for the Apple Twins.
29 I kind of just.. don't. If I do, I start hating everything, and because I'm not THAT bad at spelling and grammar I think it's mostly fine the way it is.
30 Oh absolutely. It's particularly obvious when one looks at AndlĂ tkyn, which I wrote over the course of 4 years. Really neat transition, if I ever manage to do it, I'd rewrite the beginning a little to match the rest when crossposting to AO3. If I ever get around to that.
31 Again, AndlĂ tkyn. That fic is my baby, man. It's so precious to me.
32 Honestly I don't know for this one, which is weird.
33 100% Ink of Awakened. My little boy. I have some friends that would rib the hell out of me if they ever found out, lol. Thankfully the main one doesn't even remember that he has a Tumblr.
34 I was not expecting how hard of a question this is! I thought it was AndlĂ tkyn, but thinking about it.. I don't think so? It might simply just change depending on which one I'm currently fixated on, but at the moment I think my favorites to get that on is Awakened and NinjagaĂŤsia, second of which already has basically nothing to begin with.
35 I don't have anything, oof.
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Every time I see you...chapter 4 â°
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...my throbbing heart rate spikes up
Author: bvidzsoo
Pairing: Song Mingi x female reader
â Warning: cursing, alcohol consumption â Word count: 6.6k â Rating: nc-17 â Genre: slice of life, established relationship, post university setting, angst â Summary: Nothing feels better than waking up in a warm bed with your sweetheart cooking breakfast, the scent of pancakes wafting through the open door. The only problem is that Mingi isn't your sweetheart, not exactly, and the night ends in an unexpected turn with your heart heavy and cheeks tear streaked.
â Visuals â
M.list ~ Previous Chapter
A/N: Hello, my lovelies! The new chapter is here and, well...we'll speak once you've read it haha. Nothing good lasts forever...or it does? If communication is good, I'd say it does but, oh, well...thank you for reading this story so far, I really appreciate your comments and feedback. I cannot say when the next update will be as I am focusing on finishing the drabbles for mine and Mina's March Event (which you should take a look at!^^) because we have fixed deadlines (that I've fallen behind on lol, nothing to worry about, I work best under pressure lmao.) I hope you enjoy this chapter and sorry for making you wait for the next one, I'll try to make it worth! Lmk what you thought of this chapter! ^^ divider
Taglist: @spicxbnny @hongjoongspoetry
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           I groaned as something bright and warm fell on my face, making me scrunch it up in annoyance as it bothered my peace. Had I not closed the curtains before going to bed last night? I groaned again, a little louder, and turned onto my stomach to bury my head into my pillow. It was always a bit tricky waking up after my day off; the pull of the warm bed was really tricky and easily made me oversleep, and then Iâd have to rush to the store. But if the sun was directly blazing on my face, it meant I still had some time before Iâd be late to work. Pulling my head off the pillow, I turned it back towards the window, reaching my right hand out, only to feel up an empty space. My eyebrows furrowed as I opened one eye, instantly getting blinded by the sun. I sighed and stared at the empty spot next to me. The blanket was crumbled, and the sheets were pulled together in a way I knew only Mingi could make them be. He had a talent for getting tangled up in the sheets in his sleep, sometimes, it was hilarious waking up to him with his pillow over his head or the blanket wrapped around his body in an awkward position. Thatâs mostly why we slept with separate blankets; heâd hog it way too often, but since I had washed the spare one yesterday, we had to share my big blanket last night. It wasnât as bad as I had expected it to be, even though Mingi tried to tease me by pressing his cold feet against mine until I gave his shin a rather firm kick.
I wondered where he had disappeared to now, pondering whether he had gone home already. There were mornings when heâd quickly rush home before I could wake up, but as my brain cleared more and registered everything around itself, I realised a sweet smell was in the air. I flipped onto my back and rubbed my eyes to get the sleep out of them, a smile pulling at my lips as I heard the tinkering of pans and pots out in the kitchen. The bedroom door was left slightly ajar so that Mingi's tinkering in the kitchen wouldnât wake me but so that the delicious smell could trick me out of bed. I chuckled and grabbed the edge of the blanket to pull it over my head, stretching my body out as I groaned in satisfaction when my vertebras popped. The croaking of the floorboards outside my door caught my attention, and I pulled the blanket off my head just as Mingi stepped inside the room with an amused smile on his lips.
âGood morning, Aurora.â I scoffed at his teasing, pouting up at him as he approached the bed.
âItâs not even late,â I grumbled, my voice a bit scratchy from having not used it for a while, âWhat are you doing up so early anyway?â
âBreakfast, canât you tell?â Mingi raised an eyebrow as I hummed, glancing past him through the fully opened door now. Based on the delicious scents, I could guess that he was most likely making pancakes. Mingi loved pancakes, and he didnât miss a chance to serve them whenever the opportunity was given to him.
âAre you done with it?â I asked, giving him a mischievous smile that made Mingiâs eyes narrow in suspicion.
âDoes it matter?â He asked, leaning down, his hand resting next to my pillow as I chuckled.
âIt sure does,â I mused, reaching a hand out to trace his bottom lip gently, âBecause Iâm not getting out of bed yet.â
âWell, my princess, I can serve breakfast in bed forââ Mingi cut himself off with a high-pitched scream as I grabbed his arm and forcefully yanked him down into the bed, thankfully he had half the mind to fall next to me and not completely on me, he was heavy since he was tall. Mingiâs large eyes stared at me as he raised his head, adjusting his position into a more comfortable one as I giggled, leaning forward to press a kiss against his lips, morning breath be damned. It was rather obvious that he didnât know how to react, and it only made me laugh as I manhandled him onto his back before turning him onto his side, forcing him to face the sun.
âYou shouldâve closed the curtains, you monster.â I imitated his low voice, rather badly, as I cuddled up to his broad back, throwing my arm and leg around him. Mingi yelped as I fisted his blouse and pulled him back into my chest, my leg around his thighs tightening, âNow Iâll make you pay for waking the princess so early on.â
âReally?â Mingiâs tone dripped with amusement as I felt his fingers sneak around my wrist, âHow?â
I smirked, leaning my head up to kiss his nape, knowing that it would tease him and give him the wrong idea. Mingi hummed low, intertwining our fingers over his heart as he pried my tight grip on his blouse off. I bit my bottom lip to try and stop my huge grin from spreading all over my lips.
âYou are being sentenced to an indefinite time of cuddling with the princess.â My tone was serious as Mingi paused, making no sounds, âAnd youâll be the small spoon too, princess.â
That got Mingi laughing, his chest rumbling as he raised our intertwined hands and pressed a kiss against my knuckles. I giggled and buried my head into his broad back, gently kissing it as we settled down into a comfortable silence. Mingi hummed, tracing my knuckles with his bare fingers, curling up his body to give me the chance to hug him into myself. My eyes fluttered closed as I pressed my forehead against his nape, breathing steadily and revelling in his familiar scent.
âYou turned the stove off, right?â I mumbled into his skin, and Mingi hummed, nodding slightly.
âI have no intentions of burning down your lovely apartment.â I chuckled as I poked at his chest with my index finger.
âGreat, thanks.â After a thought, I asked another question, âYou made pancakes, didnât you?â
âGuilty. Am I being charged for that too?â I could hear the smile in Mingiâs voice as he asked, his tone low, and I laughed, pursing my lips.
âPerhaps, yes, but I have to figure out what the punishment will be.â Mingi chuckled, wriggling his legs like a little child, âAlthough I canât complain about getting free breakfast brought to me in bed.â
âAh, ah, we are eating in the kitchen. If I spoil you too much, youâll become too demanding, my princess.â I scoffed, staring at the back of his head, pouting slightly.
âAs ifâŚIâve never had breakfast in bed before.â Mingi chuckled, turning his head to look back at me. We couldnât exactly see each other, but I did raise my head to try and meet his gaze.
âDid someone buy you flowers? I saw them on the counter.â
âYeah, I did. They are pretty, arenât they?â
âThey are, do you want me to buy you flowers in the future?â
Did I want that? I gulped, biting my bottom lip as my heart lurched suddenly. What was this? I thought my stupid thoughts and conflicting emotions were a thing of yesterday, of the past, and wouldnât bleed into today, âI meanâŚI think, yes.â
âIâll keep that in mind, then,â Mingi muttered, flattening our interlocked palms against his chest. His heart was beating steadily, his skin warm through his pyjamaâs blouse. I closed my eyes and sighed, enjoying the silence as neither one of us said anything else. Mingi started humming something slow and quiet, something he most probably listened to on his vinyl. It sounded beautiful, soothing, and comfortingâŚmuch like Mingi himself. I found myself chewing on my bottom lip again, wondering if Mingi felt the same way in my presence as I felt in his. It was a jarring thought, the curiosity to know more about Mingiâs thoughts. He was like an open book, yet I realised I never really knew what exactly was going through his mind. He could read my mind so easily, it made me wish I could do the same for him. Perhaps then Iâd understand why heâd stare at me so deeply sometimes, why his smile would soften and his eyes would light up if I laughed, why he loved holding my hands even if we were just sitting down in the living room, watching a movie.
A whisper, something faint and so very quiet I almost missed it, echoed in my ears, telling me that I knew the answers to my questions. It was so obvious, it was right in front of me. Mingi had never shied away from the truth. But I was afraid that if I admitted that there might be something more between the two of us, it would become real. I didnât want that, I liked the serenity of right now and the secure feeling I only get when around Mingi. He shifted slightly, turning on his side and making me scoot back a little bit as our eyes found each other, his soft while mine searched his face. He raised his head and leaned forward, pressing a kiss against my forehead.
âDo you want to meet up before the get-together?â Mingi asked, his voice low. I nodded as I pulled my hand out of his to turn him fully onto his back, slithering closer to Mingi until I was lying halfway on top of him. He grunted but hugged an arm around my waist, his large palm warm against my skin. I hugged him as best as I could, burying my face in his neck as my heart raced, wondering why I didnât want this moment to end, why I wanted to lay in his arms, in my bed, forever. Mingi hummed almost as if he heard my thoughts, burying his nose in my hair as he gently caressed my lower back, âWe should eat before the pancakes go cold.â
âFive more minutes?â I mumbled into his skin, giving in to the urge to pepper kisses against his collarbone and neck.
âOkay,â Mingi whispered, his body relaxing further underneath mine as I pressed a long kiss against his jaw, my eyes fluttering closed. I wished I could capture this moment and keep it forever, store it deep in my heart, away from any prying and questioning eyes. I never wanted Mingi to walk away, and that was scary; that meant I felt too much for him already.
           The day went by in a blur now that I had something to be excited over. I had been wondering what to wear all day long, and all that hard work to clean my closet went down the drain just a day later as I tried to find the right outfit. It wasnât anything complicated or fancy, but I rarely went out nowadays, so I wanted to pretty myself up. The get-together was at one of Seonghwaâs fancy houses; him coming from a rich family came with such benefits. And despite his status, Seonghwa remained humble and a great person to hang out with. He had been one of the first people to welcome me onto campus, so excited to have all the freshmen gather up in front of the building, his papers stacked neatly in his hands, his smile bright as he called everyoneâs name to make sure they were there before he gave us a tour of the university and its grounds.
The house was already filled with people by the time Mingi and I arrived. Our hands were intertwined until we walked up to the front porch, ringing the buzzer despite being able to just walk inside. We knew Seonghwa preferred it that way, always lurking close to the lobby so that he could welcome everyone. He was beyond ecstatic when he opened the door and saw it was us, pulling us into bone-crushing hugs as Mingi laughed, and I handed him our little gift. It wasnât anything expensive but the corner store wine Seonghwa would often get drunk off of during our crazy years; it made him laugh as he beckoned us inside with a wide smile. From there on, Mingi and I had migrated towards the kitchen, accepting the glasses of wine from Hongjoong, Seonghwaâs husband. The two had moved fast, but they had no regrets, living their happy and quiet life in one of Seonghwaâs massive homes. Hongjoong was trying to break through in the fashion industry, and Seonghwa's motherâs expertise was certainly of help to him.
I remained mostly by Mingiâs side at first, conversing with our old friends or the new people we were introduced to. At some point, Jongho joined us too, already drunk and jolly. We were sitting at Seonghwaâs massive oak table in the dining room, laughing about a story a guy I didnât know was retelling. He seemed to be on good terms with Hongjoong, though. The two looked like they had known each other for a long time, and Hongjoong would look mortified any time the guy remembered something new that we might not have heard about. Jonghoâs arm was around my chair as we were huddled close together, watching silly TikTok videos on his phone, when I felt Mingiâs hand settle on my thigh, squeezing it reassuringly. I glanced at him from the corner of my eyes, but his attention was on the guy now making a scene, his voice shrill and loud as he and Hongjoong argued about the accuracy of his story. I paid no mind to Mingi as I made Jongho scroll to the next video, mumbling about wanting to show me something, just as Seonghwa walked inside the room, two familiar faces on both sides of him. I gasped as my eyes widened, and I was out of the chair before anyone could stop me.
I reached Giselle first since she jumped in front of me, hugging me tightly and even lifting me off the floor and whirling me around, making me yelp as I held onto her for dear life. Wendy joined in on the hug when my feet touched the ground once again, and we giggled to ourselves as Seonghwa took my previous spot, smiling fondly as he said something to Mingi. And from then on, the girls and I found a nice sofa in Seonghwaâs living room and huddled together to catch up on life. Giselle was back in the country but only for two weeks; her next exposition would be closer to home, and she managed to negotiate to lessen her stay period over there. Wendy was planning on taking some vacation time off and going home, relaxing to recharge before she embarked on her new project. We giggled and shared stories throughout the night, going from tipsy to drunk as our glasses were always refilled with some fancy wine that was rather sweet than dry. At some point, Mingi had wandered over to us and greeted the girls with a big grin, asking whether we wanted to have dinner. We werenât hungry, so we declined, and Mingi left only after ruffling my hair and telling me to keep it down with the alcohol. He was right; my worst enemy was hangovers, and even if it was Saturday tomorrow, he knew I would hate myself if I had to stay in bed all day long.
âSo,â Giselle spoke up, glancing at Wendy before looking back at me, âMingi, huh?â
My eyebrows furrowed as I took a sip of my wine, my tongue tingly and my legs a little numb, âWhat about Mingi?â
My speech wasnât slurred, but I was only two glasses away from it.
âWell, I heard you arrived together,â Giselle said, as if that meant anything. I scoffed, tilting my head with amusement.
âAnd? Everyone knows Mingi and I are friends, no?â My eyebrows furrowed when Wendy and Giselle glanced at each other, âOr do people not know? I thought it was obviousâŚâ
âOh, thereâs certainly something obvious about you two; I just donât think itâs your friendship.â Wendy snorted, placing her chin in her palm as my eyebrows furrowed even more. What were they talking about?
âIâm lost,â I huffed, âWhat do you mean?â
âItâs pretty obvious to everyone in this room that you two are dating.â Giselle said, breaking the silence that wouldâve stretched on, âWhy didnât you tell usââ
âWait.â I raised my palm, an incredulous laugh bubbling past my lips as I closed my eyes for a second, âDating? Mingi and me? Thatâs ridiculous. We arenât dating, not even in the slightest.â
âWe donât buy it.â Wendy fired quickly, grabbing my wrist when I went to take a sip of my drink, âHeâs been looking at you with hearts in his eyes the whole evening, he checks up on you every hour, and he never goes far enough that he canât keep his eyes on you. I havenât seen a friend whoâs that protective, to be honest, so you canât lie to us.â
âI know we donât meet up as often nowadays,â Giselle started with a pout as I turned my head to look at her, âbut I thought youâd tell us something like this still. Itâs pretty important if you ask meâŚâ
Wendy nodded in agreement, looking at me expectantly. I gulped, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked around the room, finding Mingi leaning against the fireplace with a beer in his hand, speaking to Yugyeom and someone I didnât know. He was smiling, listening attentively to whatever was being said, but almost as if he felt my gaze on him, he looked up, and our eyes met. His expression softened, and he tipped his can of beer in my direction, winking before he looked back at Yugyeom, nodding to something he was saying. I bit my bottom lip, feeling my two friendsâ eyes boring into the sides of my face.
âYou know we saw that, now, spill.â Wendy pressed, and I sighed, looking down at my lap as I played with my glass of wine. What was there to spill? Mingi and I werenât together, and therefore, there was no groundbreaking news I should have told them about. We were friends and nothing more; maybe our intimacy went further than that, but that meant nothing.
âWe are friends, nothing more.â I took a sip of my wine, wondering where Hongjoong had disappeared to with the sweet alcohol in my glass, âBut weâve grown closer over the years, after graduating especially. I donât know, we justâŚweâve been sleeping together, I guess.â
âI knew it!â Wendy exclaimed, making a few heads turn in our direction. She smiled sheepishly, and I cleared my throat, glancing at Giselle since she was still silent. She had a contemplative look on her face.
âFor how long?â She asked, genuinely curious.
I shrugged, averting my eyes from my friends, âFor ten months.â
âWhat?!â They echoed, their jaws slack as they glanced at each other before looking back at me with an incredulous look on their faces. I grimaced and looked around, making sure no one was trying to eavesdrop on our conversation. My eyes found Mingi again as I chewed on my bottom lip, wondering how much more I wanted to share with the two girls. I felt like they wouldnât understand what we had, that our intimacy was just as much platonic and nonsexual as sexual too. It just made sense to me, to Mingi, and I hesitated in saying it out loud because I knew many people wouldnât understand how that worked or what that meant.
âYeah, itâs not a big deal. We are friends who sleep together sometimes, nothingâs changed besides that.â I muttered, downing my wine. Giselleâs eyebrows furrowed as she grabbed my hand.
âAre you saying youâve never discussed what you two are?â This is why I didnât like talking about Mingi and me, about whatever we had. They clearly didnât understand and probably wouldnât either.
âWe donât have to discuss it, Giselle, because thereâs nothing to discuss. I canât explain it either because itâs unlike anything Iâve experienced before.â My tone was harsh even if I didnât mean it to be, and I sighed as I looked at Wendy and then at Giselle, âLetâs just drop this topic, please.â
âOkay,â Giselle said, but Wendy didnât look done with this yet.
âYou can deny it all you want, Y/N, but youâre in loââ I stood abruptly, trying to keep my glare off my face as I looked at Wendy sharply.
âIâll go and get a refill. Want something from the kitchen?â Wendy gave me a pointed stare as she shook her head, and Giselle shrugged, looking down at her own glass.
âCan you check if Hwa has any chips? Iâd like some salted ones.â I nodded and turned around to head for the kitchen, my steps were heavy as I stomped through the house. I didnât look at anyone as my head swirled uncomfortably, my thoughts eating me up and wondering what Wendy wouldâve said if I hadnât cut her off. But I didnât have to wonder too hard since I already knew the answer, the skip of my heart proving it when I realised Mingi had brushed up next to me. He looked handsome tonight, ravishing even, in his form-fitting muddy green t-shirt, black cargo pants and thick boots. It showed off his physique nicely, his wide shoulders and small waist, the gentle but firm muscles of his biceps, and his broad chest. His black hair was gelled back, his small eyes sharper tonight as he had asked me to deepen them with some black eyeshadow. His numerous necklaces and bracelets were eye-catching, and his hands were littered with his silver rings. I sighed as I found the bottle of wine and poured myself some.
âSomething happened?â Mingi asked gently, eyebrows furrowed. I shook my head and took a sip of my wine, taken aback when I realised it wasnât the same one I had been drinking. Mingi noticed my grimace and chuckled, leaning over the counter to grab a different bottle of wine, âYouâve been drinking this one, not that one. Thatâs Hongjoongâs favourite, thatâs why itâs so full, nobody really drinks it.â
I glanced down at the glass and hummed, deciding that I would finish it since I had poured it out for myself. I hoped Hongjoong wouldnât mind too much, âAre you enjoying yourself?â
âIf I say no, will you want to go home?â
âWell, is your answer then, no?â
âNope, Iâm having fun.â I shuddered when I felt Mingiâs pinkie brushing against mine, and I retracted my hand, very aware that anyone could see us right now. I didnât want Wendy and Giselle to give me looks when I returned to them, so I busied myself by walking around the counter to look for chips in the cupboards.
âOkay, me too. Let me know when you want to head home.â Home, as in my apartment. Mingi was sleeping over tonight as well, we had concluded it was best I didnât roam the city on my own if I accidentally became drunkâŚwhich I was, just not too drunk yet.
âI will, save me some chips.â Mingi grinned before he left the kitchen, making me slouch against the counter as I sighed, feeling something heavy settle over my chest. The night had started out great, and yet, I was regretting it now. Was it really visible to everyone in this house that Mingi and I were sleeping together? Did everyone think we were a couple, much like Giselle and Wendy? My jaw clenched as I grabbed the salted chips and my glass, marching back to my two friends. If they didnât bring this subject up again, I knew Iâd be able to relax at last, but for that, I needed more alcohol and less Mingi.
           By the time 3 am rolled around, everyone was drunk and tired, so it was time to depart from Seonghwaâs mini-mansion and head home. My feet felt heavy, and I was sure I wouldâve fallen to the ground if it hadnât been for the arm hooked around mine, keeping me steady despite Mingiâs already wobbly stance. We were both drunk, there was no denying it, our giggles and laughter loud on the empty streets as we walked further away from the fancy neighbourhood Seonghwa lived in. Weâd thought about calling a cab or catching a late-night bus, but the crisp night air felt refreshing against our heated skin, and weâd already been walking for fifteen minutes. We only had about ten more and weâd finally reach my apartment. The streets were empty and dark, illuminated by the lampposts and the full moon above our heads, our guide for the night. I giggled at the sound Mingi made, trying to imitate the owls that hid on the tree branches.
âThat was horrible.â I laughed, leaning my head against his shoulder as Mingi scoffed loudly and dramatically.
âNo, it wasnât! You try doing it, then.â He shrugged his shoulder to make my head bounce, and I laughed, looking up at the star-filled sky. Taking a deep breath, I let out a loud sound that was a mixture of a roar and a meow, terrible and so horrible I almost choked on my own spit. Mingi stumbled on his feet hearing it, then pressed a hand against his mouth as he broke out into hysterical laughter, making me pout with a huff. It wasnât even that bad.
âStop it!â I whined, pulling away to punch his shoulder. Mingi just laughed louder, clutching his stomach as we stopped walking. I threw a second punch to make sure it hurt this time, and Mingi whined, grabbing his left shoulder as his eyes widened, âDonât look at me like that, I told you to stop.â
âYouâre always so demanding.â Mingi groaned, rubbing the sore spot as I stuck my tongue out at him, taking off again. He was hot on my heels as he threw his arm around my shoulder, yanking me into the side of his body and almost making me lose my footing. I huffed and grabbed him around the waist, turning my head to bite into his chest since his jacket was pulled to the side. Mingi yelped and suddenly stopped, grabbing my jaw and yanking my head up, âAre you possessed by a wild cat, baby? Whatâs with you tonight?â
I giggled, staring up into his eyes with mischief, âNo, Iâm just drunk.â
Then, before he could anticipate my next move, I pushed him back by his firm chest and took off running down the street, squealing like a lunatic as I jumped on benches too, trying to put much distance between Mingi and me. He was calling out my name, voice loud and higher pitched, his pursuit loud as he stomped after me, asking me to stop before I got hurt. But I didnât listen to him as I giggled, the wind whipped at my face as I ran even faster, barely missing the boulder which wouldâve sent me to the ground, giving me a nasty bruise. Running like this in my inebriated state wasnât smart; my feet felt heavy, and my head spun as I whirled around to try and gauge how far Mingi was, but all I saw was a blur of his dark leather jacket and hair slowly catching up with me. I giggled and faced forward again, ignoring the red light for the crosswalk since there were no cars around, and grabbed the lamppost as I made a circle, sticking my tongue out at Mingi when I saw the scrutinising look he sent me. Before he could grab me, however, I took off again, laughing loudly as I was reminded of a time back in university when we were stranded under a storeâs canopy while it rained cats and dogs. We were drunk then, too, and my brilliant idea had been to run out into the rain and jump into puddles. Mingi was against it until he saw how much fun I was having, and he joined me as we jumped into every puddle on the street. I didnât let him blame me after we both came down with a cold the next day.
My apartment complex was in sight as I smiled to myself, my heart racing as I slowed down into a casual jog, fishing around my pockets for my keys. Mingiâs ragged breaths reached my ears before his arms were wrapped around my torso, his breathing loud as he squeezed me.
âThat was foul, I feel like Iâm about to throw up.â He panted as I chuckled, unlocking the entrance to the building, âYouâre laughing, but Iâm being serious, baby.â
I scoffed and stopped walking, turning my head to look up at him, âBaby? Why the sudden petname?â
âCanât I give you one?â Mingi raised an eyebrow, his tone snappy. I shrugged and started walking again, albeit struggling a bit since Mingi continued to cling to me. Walking up the stairs would be a challenge like this, but it was for shits and giggles after all. I could only hope my neighbours wouldnât hate me too much since Mingi and I were far from being quiet, stumbling into the railing multiple times while we giggled, our bellies hurting from all the laughter. Mingi refused to release me, however, so getting up to my floor was even more difficult with our drunkenness added to it. But truthfully to us, we made it and then stumbled on the last step, shooting forward straight into my door. Something made a loud sound, and my eyes widened as I turned my head, watching Mingiâs grimacing face, his forehead leaning on the sturdy door. I had caught my fall with my left hand, but it seemed like Mingi wasnât as lucky as me.
âFuck, I think I just split my head in two,â Mingi muttered, rubbing the already-reddening spot and I pressed my lips together in hopes to stifle my laughter, but it was fruitless. The second our eyes met, I started laughing loudly with little regard for our neighbour's sleep, Mingiâs lips downturned into a pout as he gave me a sad look, âIt hurts like a bitch, donât laugh at me! Youâre so evil, Y/N.â
That only made me laugh louder, but it was muffled by Mingiâs free hand pressing against my mouth. He couldnât stop my laughter like that, but at least it wouldnât wake the whole floor up. He also took the keys from my hands and tried to open the door as I finally was able to calm down, and playfully bit Mingiâs finger as he yelped. He gave me an incredulous look as he pulled his hand back, and I chuckled, hugging him around his waist as he finally unlocked the door. He pushed it open and stepped inside, pulling me with him since I didnât want to let go yet. The door closed with a soft click behind us, and Mingi turned the light on in the small hallway, shifting around in my arms so we faced each other. His arms came to hug me around the neck, head lowered as I peered up into his eyes. He looked pretty in the dim lighting, I couldnât help but smile at him as he hummed, brushing a strand of hair off my face. My vision of hanging up fairy lights in the entrance hallway suddenly returned as I realised the light would be reflected in Mingiâs soft and warm eyes, bouncing off his smooth skin and painting him in a warm glow. I gulped, finding myself breathless for no reason.
âI want to hang up fairy lights in this hallway,â Mingi nodded as I spoke, his face focused and eyes searching my face. His expression had turned serious all of a sudden, and I found my heart racing nervously, âI think they would look pretty, plus I donât like how dark it is in this hallway. I could leave them on overnight.â
Mingi just hummed, cupping my face as his eyes landed on my lips, his tongue poking out to wet his. I gulped, finding myself mimicking him, still breathless and my cheeks warm, âYouâd also look really pretty underneath the lights.â
Mingi froze for just a second, body tensing before he dived forward, his lips catching mine in a passionate kiss. I sighed as I pressed up on my tiptoes, fingers burying in his leather jacket as Mingiâs warm lips captured mine between his, insistent but attentive so he wasnât overdoing it. I stepped closer until our bodies were flush together, and my head tilted back, a whimper escaped my lips when I felt Mingiâs fingers sink into my hair, holding onto gently. He didnât have to ask for me to open up; I did it naturally and eagerly as our tongues swiped against each other, hungry and hot. Mingi tasted like cheap beer and caramel, I had seen him sneaking a few caramel candies into his pockets before we left Seonghwaâs place. He hummed against my lips as I let him have his way, front teeth catching my bottom lip and suckling on it as I felt my cheeks become even hotter. My hands slipped underneath his leather jacket and generously felt up his firm chest before settling on his back, my nails digging through the thin fabric and into his skin. I felt myself moving backwards until I collided with the door and Mingi moaned as I sucked on his tongue, eager to get his jacket off so that I could undress him. I couldnât explain the sudden want in my body, the heaviness on my chest a little lighter now that it was just the two of us. I wanted to feel his naked hot body pressed against mine, skin to skin and heart to heart.
As I gripped the collar of his jacket, I felt Mingiâs fingers wrapping around my wrists and his head pulling back, puffs of hot breath hitting my lips. His eyes opened as I licked my lips, staring up at him a bit dazed. The sudden rush of oxygen felt almost sickening, but I paid it no mind as my eyes bore into Mingiâs. They were shaking, they looked utterly vulnerable as they hid an emotion I couldnât quite read. I realised even his hands felt to be gripping desperately around my wrists and I gulped, wondering if something happened that made him feel like this. Perhaps his friends, too, had been drilling him about the two of us. I knew Mingi was a sensitive person, and once something bothered him, it would stay on his mind for a long time. But before I could voice my concerns, Mingi gulped and then spoke.
âI love you.â I felt my blood run cold as my fingers tightened into the leather, my eyebrows twitching.
âMingi.â I whispered, an incredulous laugh falling off my lips, âYou donât.â
I didnât let him speak as I pressed our lips together to silence him, but Mingi was pulling back as he shook his head, âYeah, I do. I love you.â
My heart was racing still, but the excitement was replaced with anxiety. My jaw clenched as I looked at his face, registering the panic and desperation in his expression.
âI love you, Y/N.â I flinched as I felt his hands cup my cheek, his head leaning closer as he forced me to stare into his eyes, âI reallyââ
âNo.â I cut him off, voice trembling as I grabbed his arms, fingers aching as they dug into his jacket, âStop it, Mingi, you donât know what youâre saying. We are drunk.â
âSober or drunk, it really doesnât matter, baby.â His voice was low and a bit rough, riddled with slight panic, âI love you no matter what.â
âFuck, no, you donât, Mingi.â I snapped, my voice harder as I felt my hands shake, my eyebrows furrowing. It was as if someone had splashed cold water over my head; my toes felt numb and my legs too heavy to move. I couldnât look at Mingiâs face anymore, so I averted my eyes, dread settling in my chest. Had Giselle and Wendy talked to him? This couldnât be happening, not now. Why did Mingi have to love me? Weâve been fine until now; why would he ruin our friendship over something as silly as love?! Did he even know what love meant? Why was he so sure he loved me?!
âY/N, please justââ
âNo, Mingi, you donât love me.â It felt as if someone had a vice-like grip around my throat, making it harder and harder to breathe and speak, âStop with the nonsense.â
âYou are the one speaking nonsense, Y/N.â Mingi snapped, eyebrows furrowing for a second before obvious fear crossed his features, âI love you. I will say it as many times as I have to, until you believe me. I love you. I really love you, Y/N, Iââ
âShut up!â I didnât shout, but my voice was higher as I slapped his hands away, wishing to take a step back, but the door behind me stopped me from doing so. Instead, I pushed at Mingiâs chest to put distance between us as it suddenly felt hard to breathe, my bottom lip trembling, âGet out.â
âWhat?â Mingiâs face fell, his eyes widening.
âGo home,â I whispered and grabbed the doorknob, twisting it so that I could open it for him. Mingi was frozen, gaping at me as if I had just said the most horrible thing to him. I didnât look at him as I gulped, feeling the overwhelming urge to cry. He had to leave now, I refused to cry in front of him after he told me he loved me.
âY/Nââ
âGoodnight, Mingi.â
A beat of silence passed as neither one of us moved, and a chill ran up my arms as Mingiâs jaw locked, his eyes narrowing into sharp slits. I didnât care, at least I told myself, as he brushed past me without a greeting or a kiss to my forehead, without brushing his fingers against mine sneakily, without a sweet and warm smile on his lips as he winked. I slammed the door shut as I heard him going down the stairs and quickly locked the door, scared heâd let his stubborn mind win and turn him back around, storming back inside my apartment. My legs suddenly gave out as I gasped, my brain in a daze from the alcohol and Mingiâs words as they swam in my head, loud and clear as if he was still standing in front of me and repeating them.
The only problem was that it had started sounding mocking and insincere the longer it echoed in my ears, and I flinched when I felt my cold tears streaming down my cheeks. And then, out of nowhere, a painful sob tore through my chest, shaking my body as I pulled my knees up into my chest, crying until there were no tears left. Love was a dangerous feeling; it never lasted, and it was misleading. Itâs never been kind or fair to me, I couldnât do it. Mingi wasnât in love with me, he was just confused.
>> next chapter
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20 questions for fic writers
No one tagged me to do this lol but I saw it on someone else's blog and thought it was really cool! And I'm trying to get better at being proud of my writing so here I am doing it!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
125
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
1,205,862......wow that is a lot more than I expected
3. What fandoms do you write for?
It's mostly hxh, but this year and last I've been dabbling in other fandoms like MDZS and Hazbin Hotel
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
Words That Water Flowers - HxH, killugon, hanahaki au
Running Start - HxH, killugon, high school soulmate au
Sleepover x At x Wing's - HxH, killugon, post-canon au
Match Point - HxH, killugon, high school au
Make x It x Everlasting - HxH, killugon canon & post-canon au
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I try to but I have a hard time staying on top of them so I mostly just respond to comments on fics I've recently posted haha ^^; but I love comments it always makes my day to receive one!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
For HxH, it's probably: The Soulmate Phenomenon - modern soulmate au in which Killua rejects Gon being his soulmate Time x Bomb - canon au in which Killua is taken by Pitou instead of Kite For non HxH, I would say Statues which is a she-ra fic in which Adora dies and Catra ends up living at Bright Moon with her grief.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Oh gosh the happiest??? I write a lot of happy endings but purely happy fics are a little harder to come by so I'm just going to focus on HxH fics: After x Glow - post canon aged up au of Gon and Killua cuddling nothing else but you - modern au in which upcoming musician Gon visits his long distance boyfriend Killua during the holidays Shotgun Lovers - modern au in which Gon proposes to Killua after a month of dating
8. Do you get hate on fics?
Not often but there's been a few comments here and there about elements in my fics that some people didn't like. A lot of people were unhappy with Time x Bomb so that's probably the one I've gotten the most hate for.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Lol yeah I have but only with friends as an rp sort of thing and that was yearsssssss ago.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
I don't write a lot of crossovers but I think my daemon au series is the closest I've got? It's basically just HxH but with daemons from the His Dark Materials series.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of and I hope I never will!
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! I've had a couple of very nice people reach out to me, I'm honored that people liked my fics enough to want to translate some of them.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Only in an rp sense
14. What's your all-time favourite ship?
Killugon, obviously haha XDDDD the only other ships I would consider to be my otps are usuk (Hetalia) and gamkar (Homestuck)
15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
The Wild Card and Gold Stained Blue TTT^TTT The Wild Card is a hetalia cardverse au that was my first attempt at a multichapter fic and I just don't have the energy to continue it any more. I'm planning to post a final summary of the ending so at least it will have some closure for readers. Gold Stained Blue is a killugon musician au written out in like bullet point form across three different google docs because it's so ridiculously long. I never got to post any of it because I was too tired after typing all the bullets out so rip. Maybe one day I will post the rough draft just for fun lol.
16. What are your writing strengths?
I think I'm really good with dialogue and also one shots. I love writing requests too because I get to create a whole story that has to be told in just a few paragraphs.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
I'm not too great with worldbuilding or coming up with non-prompt ideas. I always feel like my more original stuff doesn't make sense and it's too exhausting to flesh out.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I think it's cool but I wouldn't do it again for a fic of my own because I can only speak english and I do not want to butcher another language haha
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Maybe....sharkboy and lavagirl??? I loved that movie a ridiculous amount haha. But the first fandom I posted anything for online was Hetalia.
20. Favourite fic you've ever written?
This is so impossible to answer aaahhhhhh! I have a soft spot for all my long multichapter fics (Words That Water Flowers, Graffiti, Swan Feathers, Waiting On You) but my the most fun one shots were the most indulgent ones (5 Times Gon Was Jealous, steal x your x breath) and I also like how painting flowers for you turned out since it was a very different fic than my usual ones.
I'm just going to tag all the fic writers on here that I know! So @xyliane, @cyberflamingo, @storybookprincess, @fireolin, @autumnxsunflower and @murderkitten666! No pressure of course if you don't want to do this ^-^
#dc writes#tag game#this was a lot of fun to think about!!!#i actually really like talking about my fics#even though i feel a bit awkward about it lol#i want to get better at being proud of them#and me
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âuh ⌠itâs a bit girly ⌠no?â javier examines himself in the reflection of his knifeâs blade, looking this-a way and that, the dark blue of a large silken bow now peeking sheepishly around his neck as it sits gently in his hair. next to him, kieran clams up a smidge, hands still held close to his chest nearby his completed ribbon project on javierâs head. he finds it in himself to wring his hands a time or two rather than immediately undo his work as javier seems to continue to formulate his final opinion. âyou ⌠think so? look at me?â kieran asks, politely as a mouse. javier easily complies, turns at his hips and looks behind, up at kieran where he sits on the stump above him.
kieran, as he peers over, canât help the meadow of flush that blooms over his neck, then his ears, then his nose and his cheeks. he can tell javier is deep in thought by the look on his face, mouth twisted just a might sideways, cocking his mustache awry, and the deep wrinkle sat between his brows. the ribbon he used matches javierâs vest perfectly, and the shine of the silk warms bright in the sun, just like every piece of jewelry and metal javier has adorned himself with. with this ribbon, javierâs hair sits lower on his head, ponytail draped down his nape and more hair framing his face in his bangs. kieran resists an urge to tuck one side back behind his ear.
kieran thinks that he looks like a painting, a muse, a love letter so heartbreakingly full of adoration that the only language it could be written in is bright swipes of pigment on a canvas. as he makes eye contact with the silk squinting around the red of a necktie, he thinks that javier may be right, if âgirlyâ could sum up âpoetry written in effeminate reverenceâ.
kieran always did think women made better art, wrote better books- found a better way to love. softer. warmer. prettier. like javier.
the world sounds like itâs underwater.
âi think ⌠itâs very pretty. it suits you real well.â
earnest to a fault, the look in kieranâs eye dances gingerly with javierâs internal voice. it dips and sways him, and javier, despite his instinct, finds himself charmed by its rhythm.
â-b-but! i could take it out! if you donât-â javier looks down at himself in his knife again, the sunlight filtered through the leaves glinting a yellow green around his dark features, and kieran hands him patience on a silver platter. a rich blue makes friends with bright green quite easy, javier thinks. this is how he must look through kieranâs mossy lens.
âpretty ⌠yes. you know, i think you may be right. iâll keep it. gracias.â
#oizy asked me at some point to write about the exchange that happens when kieran first gives javier his first big ribbon ⌠i think#and iâve been thinking about it this whole time :â] and iâve been wanting to write them for a long while now too so i thought it would be fu#n to just jot it down :â] ⌠this could have been written better but i fear if i donât post it now i never will LOL iâll just overthink it đĽ˛#i have a few more writing drafts started that i hope i can finish soon âŚ. writing is very fun for me ! i just ⌠run out of steam easy and th#en never pick drafts up again đđđ iâm kinda the worst creater ever LOL#anyway ! yeah i think javier initially was very put off by it but kieran with all of his autismo wisdom simply does not gaf about gender#gender* roles. he just thinks ribbons and bows are so pretty and javier walks around like a little peacock so kieran thinks that he (literal#ly) deserves a big pretty bow on top !#this is still in horseshoe overlook actually. right before they move though. in the cusp of that time where javier begins to get curious abo#ut kieran and kieran begins to feel just a teeny weeny bit braver when it comes to ⌠having a personality around the other gang members LOL#and at this point kieranâs attraction to javier (at the very least physically) has been fully realized. javier never really did like him (or#so he thought) but heâs left him completely alone for the past month or so and so kieran thinks heâs got enough emotional berth to try and#give him a gift. thatâs why theyâre so awkward and weird lowkey LOL javier is still a bit spiteful but i think towards the end of horseshoe#he has moments where heâs able to be very very calm about kieran and try to empathize with him. especially in the moments where kieran is so#kind to him that javier simply cannot find it in himself to think that itâs an act of some sort. it was immediately after this that javier w#ent hunting and gutted a rabbit so hard on accident that he ruined the meat by puncturing the intestines. he confuses even himself sometimes#pining ! but in a really weird and subtle and calm way ! i do think they have their moments where itâs like a wildfire in them and they just#get completely burnt up by it ⌠but sometimes they also pine like the wax and wane of the ocean lapping at the bank. easy. calm. warm. love#unrealized yet but ever-present still. they carry the weight of love in their hearts around every day. these two are burdened by it. but whe#n they are together ⌠this weight ⌠the pits in their stomachs that they cannot rid themselves of ⌠when they are together all of the sudden#it seems as though the world around them slows down. and itâs easy to feel ⌠calm. like they belong there. like theyâre okay and safe and ..#free.#anyway. i like them a normal amount :) and sometimes their dynamic is really complicated to me ! and they contradict themselves sometimes !#and that is really fun to me !!!#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#kieran duffy#javier escuella#javieran#hero more like shakespeare
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Feeling another random burst of self confidence (probably due to lack of sleep honestly) so have a heavily made-up eye reveal I guess? đ
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#this is from my bridal makeup trial back in December#and tbh even though itâs not exactly what I wanted I still really liked it and the overall look looked good in my engagement photos#weâre gonna change a few things for the day of but yeah#no one asked but I actually like my eye shape for the most part#I feel like they can look kind of sleepy or a bit too small sometimes in photos where Iâm not wearing as much makeup#or any at all#but I still like them especially since they look like that less often now#maybe itâs bc Iâve kind of grown out of that and I havenât really noticed until recently#or maybe itâs just bc Iâm getting a little better at taking photos lol#either way if youâre a teenage girl or a woman in her early 20s and you have these random but prominent insecurities like me#I just wanna say that youâll get past them/grow into them#maybe itâs just those awkward teen years or maybe youâre not completely comfortable with how you look or taking pictures yet#but itâs okay youâre beautiful in your own way#and itâs okay to have insecurities too#everyone has them whether you realize it or not#I def still have other things Iâm insecure about#but itâs important to talk and think nicely about yourself even when itâs hard#so thatâs what Iâm doing here#Iâm gonna try to keep practicing that from now on#hopefully I can keep it up bc I really do think too negatively about myself sometimes
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i've heard how isolating grief can be because everyone is afraid to talk to you but apparently having a scary diagnosis is the same way đĽ˛
#i wasnt expecting the reaction (or lack thereof) from most of my friends to my diagnosis#i've had invisible disabilities for years so im used to people not really caring about that but this is different#like nobody wants to talk to me at all about anything#most of my friends are avoiding me#i guess im too depressing to be around or they feel awkward and dont know what to say#but its super depressing and kind of hurtful like nobody cares#only one friend who's a nurse and one friend who also had a really bad health crisis not too long ago are acting like they care#im sure its not that nobody literally cares they just dont know what to say or whatever but :(#even some older people i know are doing it which surprised me#i expected more mature people to be used to news like this and better at reacting to it#anyway its only a chance i might go blind not a certainty#i would still like to be part of conversations#we dont Have to talk about the elephant in the room#though i kind of would like to a bit but i dont have to with everyone all the time#im not about to start crying if you talk to me#people i barely know seem less afraid to talk to me than my actual friends#they'll at least ask how i'm doing before ending the conversation lol#anyway đ§ââď¸#sorry to be a downer by existing#this has been a shitpost#illness tw#anyway its not certain its just a chance i might go blind#either way im not dying#even if i were it would be hurtful obviously but whatever
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if my parents dont suspect im dating someone at this point then idk when they will
#technically not dating dating but we do go on dates?#idk the minutae of relationship definitions and expectations and stuff are mostly unknown to me#okay yeah my mum is literally rn asking hella questions about her#in a nice positive but also ulterior motivey type way#honestly would be less awkward if my parents just straight up (gay up?) ask me lol#anyway yeah im getting the train up to see her and normally im not about that because getting the train makes me anxious#but ill be fine. hopefully.#im terrified of missing my stop#wah so much anxiety but actually feel a bit better now ive told my mum#a significant part of me is still closeted and 17 even though i am 24 and also out#there was a comic or something i read the other week that talked about the 'trauma of coming out' and its like yes actually that makes a lo#of sense#but i am trying to be less repressed. i was even telling my friends at uni about the date we were on on saturday
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Random fun fact about me: the first time I heard "You belong with me" I only heard the 'she wears short skirts, I wear t-shirts, she's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers' bit and I was convinced for a while it's a lesbian ballad about a girl who has a crush on the Cheer Captain but doesn't have enough self esteem to ask her out. I was immensely disappointed to learn that it's a not like other girls song.
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WEBCAM PERV! (1)
pairings ⼠heeseung x fem!reader
point of view ⼠third person, omniscient
warnings ⼠mutual masturbation, cyberstalking, noncon recording
synopsis ⼠you meet heeseung on omegle and quickly hit it off until you accidentally disconnect. feeling at a loss from not being able to find him again, you give up and live life as if it never happened. unbeknownst to you, however, he turns out to be a hacker who hacked into your camera, resorting to watching your secretly from behind the screen⌠until he didnât.
genre ⼠smut
word count ⼠4.4k
taglist: @rayofsunshineeee
Webcam Perv! (2)
authorâs note: sorry it took me a bit longer to release, i ended up rewriting over the whole draft. i was gonna write the full story in one go, but if thereâs one thing you should know about me, itâs that i love making series. anyway i hope yall enjoy! & a reminder that my requests are open (send as an ask or submission pls do not dm me lol). go check out my other stories while youâre at it bc i have much more cooking! not proofread so donât come for me!
y/n lay blank faced on her bed with her phone in hand. it had been hours since sheâd gotten home from her classes, and now she was just scrolling mindlessly on tiktok out of boredom. her room was quiet except for the occasional hum of her heater and the everchanging audios blasting from her phoneâs speakers.
she sighed, tossing her phone to the side resorting to staring at the ceiling. as the days were growing colder, y/n couldnât help but to feel this growing sense of loneliness creeping in, like there was something missing that she couldnât quite put her finger on��excitement was the closest word she think of. she didnât have many friends to talk to, or text, or hang out withâjust her best friend natty, but the girl was currently unreachable as she had already fallen asleep after their brief phone call.
midterms were always the dryest times for y/n. after spending hours in the library, forcing far too many categories of knowledge down her throat for her own goodă
Ą just to end up with barely above average scores, she was too drained to do much of anything else when she got home. but, it was hard to just sleep. she was intransigent when it came to resting after studying because she wanted to give herself the free time sheâd lost instead. usually being on her phone, and rotting her brain away with the useless curated content that she handpicked for herself would suffice. but on days like thisă
Ą where her studying ended close to (or in this case, after) midnight, it wasnât nearly enough to satisfy the dopamine she was longing for.
after a few moments of lying in a frozen state of staring off into nothing, she reached for her laptop, opening it on impulse. omegle. it had been a while since sheâd used it, and honestly, it wasnât the best idea, but she figured it might help pass the time. and maybe itâd even give her some form of human interaction, though her hopes werenât too high given the websiteâs reputation. she typed âk-popâ into the category field, hoping itâd narrow down the pool to people around her age who might share at least one interest with her.
the first few chats werenât anything special. she ran through the typical brief hellos, the awkward pauses, and of course the familiar âstranger has disconnected.â a few times, however, she was met with the sight of creepy old men who took pleasure in flashing, reacting at lightning speed to skip the chats before things could get worse. some people seemed normal at first, friendly even, but as soon as theyâd start saying weird thingsă
Ąor worse, making noises that gave away their intentions, itâd soil her mood once again as she refreshed her tab.
after getting skipped again for the umpteenth time, y/n found herself hovering her mouse over the ânew chatâ button, debating. she looked at the clock in the corner of her screen, she had already wasted 30 minutes trying to find a normal human being to talk to. she was beginning to wonder if this was really a good idea to begin with. was it even worth possibly getting harassed for another half hour, in the name of being social? she weighed her options: she could either waste another 2 hours on tiktok, or go to bed. neither seemed appetizing for the hunger of connection she craved. with a sigh, she decided to try one more. and if it didnât work out, it just meant that it was time to call it a night. she clicked to start a new chat.
stranger is typingâŚ
stranger: hii
you: hello
stranger: m23
you: f22
stranger: cam?
you: earn it?
this one didnât seem too bad so far, but she wasnât going to make an early judgement. the man seemed to respect her decision as he quickly changed the conversation. they kept things light, alternating on asking each other random questions back and forth about hobbies, favorite foods, movies, shows, and music. the conversation was easy, fun even, and y/n found herself smiling a little despite the earlier frustration. it was like she was finally getting what she was looking for. with the conversation being tame, he took it as a green light to ask again.
stranger: can i see you now?
you: fine lol
y/n hesitated before turning her camera on and adjusted her hair quickly before looking at the screen. the male in her vision had a sharp, almost angelic face, with delicate features that seemed to be personally sculpted by the man above. his hair was dark and tousled, the slight messiness giving him a laid-back, calm vibe with his headset only adding character to his visual as they laid over his ears. his eyes were a captivating deep brown. they were soft and friendly, it made it hard to look away. even through the webcam, it was clear he had this undeniable charm, his steady gaze hinting that he knew the effect he had on others. the two of them stayed still, ogling each other for a bit, the stare down only being interrupted when he abruptly started typing again.
stranger is typingâŚ
stranger: damn ur fine lol
you: thx so are you
stranger: you in korea?
you: yeah
stranger: me too
stranger is typingâŚ
stranger: audio?
you: yk what? yeah
heeseung and y/n both go to turn on their audio. while her room was silent, disregarding the small noise coming from her roomâs heater, heeseung had r&b music softly playing in the background. it only added to this boy next door vibe she was getting from him. the two of them were silent for a second before heeseung decided to break the ice by speaking first.
âhello? let me know if you can hear me.â his voice came through clearly, deep and smooth, carrying a natural warmth that drew her in without him even trying. a part of her was convinced he had to secretly be a weirdo. what was someone as attractive as him even doing on this site, yet alone at this hour? she took a breath before answering.
âhi, yeah i can hear you,â she replied, her tone a little uncertain, unsure of how to match his cool energy. she wasnât exactly the extroverted type of person to begin with, you can only imagine how much harder it was to speak when such a captivating face was waiting for her response in real time.
heeseung only chuckled softly, the sound seamlessly exuding natural confidence. âso⌠i guess we finally get to talk now.â
y/n smiled at his words, her need for approval rising as she juggled through all the responses she could make to keep him engaged, âyeah, seems like it,â she responded, her voice was steady now as she tried to shake off the nervousness creeping in.Â
heeseung chuckled, shifting closer to his keyboard as his fingers danced over the keys. the music in the background shifted, the beat changing just as he leaned back in his chair, folding his arms behind his head. his voice lowered a notch as he spoke, a hint of amusement in his tone. âiâm, heeseung, by the way.â
ây/n,â she responded.
âi gotta admit,â he said, âi wasnât sure if youâd actually turn on your mic.â
âwhyâs that?â she asked, an almost muted giggle escaping her lips as she twirled a strand of her hair, her fingers displaying how nervous she felt. heeseung watched her with a quiet intensity, noticing every little movement she made. the way her fingers fidgeted and how she avoided meeting his gaze through the screen.
âi donât know,â he said, his tone lazy and nonchalant, but holding a teasing undertoneă
Ą a subtle shift she didnât quite catch onto. âguess iâm just lucky you did.â he didnât say anything about her fidgeting, though. he didnât need to. she seemed like the type to change her behavior once it was called out, and he was more captivated by it than he let on. there was something about her shyness, moreso the way she couldnât quite hide it, that intrigued him. âso, what do you usually do when youâre not chatting with strangers on the internet?â
his question had caught y/n off guard for a brief moment, another nervous laugh slipping past her lips as she tugged on her shirtâs collar, adjusting it to make sure nothing was out of place though she didnât actually need to. she didnât know why, but something about talking to him felt different from the others. âuh, not much⌠if iâm not studying, i just watch tiktoks or call my friend if sheâs not tired.â she replied hoping the answer sounded casual enough.
âhm, sounds like youâve got some time to kill,â heeseung smirked, inching his chair closer to the screen. he opened a second tab, the soft clatter of his typing blending effortlessly with the mellow r&b drifting through the background.
âyeah, guess i do. lifeâs⌠kinda mundane, you know?â y/n replied sheepishly. her gaze followed his, noting the slight movement of his hands just out of view, but chucking it up to him searching for another song to play as the music shifted again. he didnât back away from the screen this time, though. instead, he kept his eyes locked on hers, unwavering.
âi get it,â heeseung replied, his voice lowering slightly, but still keeping its laidback manner, like they were just two people having an ordinary conversation. âiâm the same, but i'm more of a youtube guy, i found out about this site through a video on there.â as he spoke, his finger subtly danced across the keyboard, the screen flickering with the quiet download of her IP address. his eyes stayed on the camera, his expression open and unreadable, like he was genuinely listening to her.
âthatâs interesting, this app usually has a bad rep. like, thereâs only creeps on here,â y/n said, though her words seemed to be misunderstood as heeseung furrowed his brows.
âare you trying to insinuate that iâm a creep?â
her eyes widened in shock, and she quickly slapped a hand over her mouth. a stutter broke through her words. âwhat?! no! iâm just sayingâiâve run into a lot of them tonight before i landed on you. so i was just⌠i donât know. forget i said anything.â she sulked, her face reddening with embarrassment at her failed attempt to relate. heeseung watched in awe, his lips curving into a small, knowing smile, at her mannerisms, finding every one of her reactions so cute. sensing her discomfort, he smoothly shifted the topic.
âiâm kidding, y/n.â he grinned, showcasing his pearly whites. âso⌠whatâs one thing youâve always wanted to do but never got around to?â he asked, his tone light, but there was an underlying intensity to his gaze. he wasnât just asking out of curiosity; he was studying her, absorbing every word she said, as if her answers would tell him everything he needed to know.
y/n paused, thinking for a moment before she answered. âprobably traveling more. i feel like iâm always stuck in the same routine.â
âyeah, routines can be⌠limiting. but theyâre also comforting, right?â he paused, his eyes flickering to a different part of his screen for just a moment before he continued. âyou know, sometimes itâs those little moments, when everything feels a little too safe, that you need to shake things up.â he spoke so casually, like he was giving advice, but it sounded a bit odd to y/n. she couldnât shake the feeling that there was more to his words, though she couldnât put her finger on what it was. regardless, she found herself wanting to stay, wanting to know more. and she was always too paranoid for her own good anyway. it was probably nothing.
âi guess.â
âoh. yeah, but is that the only reason youâre on here?â heeseungâs fingers were still moving on his keyboard, the quiet clicking of the keys going unnoticed now. he wasnât just talking anymoreâhe was already pulling the strings, weaving a subtle web around her, all while his words remained smooth and harmless. y/nâs lips pursed in thought, the sudden change in the atmosphere making her feel more curious than she was letting on.
âwhat do you mean?â she asked, confusion creeping into her tone as she leaned forward, trying to get a better look at him. heeseungâs system, working silently in the background, had breached the security of her wifi by now, scanning through the connected devices, its main goal being to gain access to her phone.
âi mean⌠itâs almost 4am, saturday night. youâre a cute girl, seem kind of introverted, but you give off this vibe... like youâre looking for some fun.â
whatever dimwitted perception y/n formed of him had shattered. he was no different from any of the other men sheâd encountered prior. âoh. i donât really do⌠that,â she replied, a slight pout playing on her lips. she moved her mouse to hover over the skip button, but she didnât click it. something was keeping her here. maybe it was the way he looked at herâtoo attractive, too confident. she wasnât sure, but she didnât move.
heeseung noticed her hesitation, his grin widening. âoh, neither do i,â he said in a humoring manner, brushing her reaction off as if his earlier comment didnât mean anything. âi just had to test the waters. can you blame me though? itâs not every day you meet an attractive girl on here. you said it yourself, thereâs usually only creeps on here, right?â
âyeah,â she laughed, the sound effortlessly drawn out as she got caught in the pull of his charm. any cautions she had before seemed to dissipate as she got lost in his eyes. she debated whether she should just give inâit wasnât like theyâd see each other again, right? but then, the stories about girls who made impulsive choices, and got extorted, crept into her mind. the fear of becoming just another statistic arose.
âwhat do you have in mind?â she asked, her words slipping out before she could think them through. her people-pleasing tendencies had kicked in, but the smile that spread across his face made her heart race. somehow, it felt good, like she was doing something right. and that made it feel worth it. rewarding, even.
âwhatever youâre offering, baby,â heeseung replied smoothly, his voice dipping into an unfamiliar, alluring tone that made her body tingle. as he spoke, his hand moved subtly off-screen, clicking to start recording. the faintest smirk curled on his lips as he leaned closer to the camera, his eyes burning into hers with a suggestiveness that made her feel seen in a way she hadnât before. desired. wanted.
âi donât know,â she murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. a nervous smile played on her lips as her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. her eyes darting away from the camera before flicking back to his. âiâve never done anything like this before.â
heeseung tilted his head slightly, his smirk widening as he studied her. there was something about her naivety, the way she danced on the edge of her own boundaries, that made his pulse quicken. he decided then and there that if he wasnât already obsessed before, he definitely was now. utterly and completely.
âwell, iâm honored to be the first,â his voice dripped with seduction, but his eyes glinted with something far more sinister.
her cheeks flushed as she hesitated again, her fingers picking at the fabric of her shirt before she finally blurted, âcould you maybeâŚâ she paused, laughing softly at how ridiculous she felt to ask. âshow me something, too? just to keep it fair.â her words made heeseung pause for a moment before a low chuckle escaped him, growing into full, unrestrained laughter. he leaned back in his chair, shaking his head in amusement, his eyes never leaving her face.
she was truly a characterâeverything about her was so⌠adorable. her openness, her immediate trust in a complete stranger, and the impulsivity that seemed to pour out of her without a second thought. it was intoxicating. she was everything heâd been looking for, everything someone like himâa man with desires he dared not say aloudâwould dream of finding. and yet, beneath his amusement, there was a darker realization. if she wasnât careful and kept giving away pieces of herself so easily, someone would take advantage of her. someone crueler, more reckless, more dangerous than him. he couldnât let that happen. not with anyone else at least. she was his now. and if she was going to be ruined, it would only be by him.
âwould you like it better if i go first?â heeseung inquired, his voice smooth as the corners of his lips nearly curled into a restrained smirk. he watched her reaction closely, catching the way her quick, almost desperate nod betrayed her displayed excitement. it was endearing, almost painfully so. it drove him crazy. he pursed his lips, feigning contemplation, before his smile grew wider, softer. âthought so,â he murmured, his tone carrying just enough teasing warmth to make her feel both at ease. she was completely under his spell.Â
he reached for his webcam, the movement slow as he decided to savor the moment. tilting it slightly, he aimed it downward, the lens capturing his relaxed posture, legs spread comfortably wide. the soft fabric of his sweatpants clung to him in just the right way, emphasizing his figure without him needing to do much at all. the unthought of confidence in his movements was enough to hold her gaze, her breath catching as the tension in the air thickened. his hands grazed over the fabric covering his length, a small hiss of relief leaving his lips as he did so. she had already gotten him painfully hard without even trying.
lifting his hips, he slides his sweats down. just enough for him to pull his cock out, an unintentional gasp falling from y/nâs lips at the sight of it. he couldnât hide the rush of pride that surfaced at her reaction. it was a response heâd grown accustomed to from his long list of other victims on the site, but there was something about y/n that struck him differently. her wide-eyed gaze, the way her lips parted slightly as if she wanted to speak but couldnât find the wordsâit was enough to ignite a deeper need within him, a desire to draw her in further, to leave her completely captivated by him.
a quiet curse slipped past his lips as he stroked, his hand barely being able to wrap around its girth. his movements were meticulous, unhurried as he moved to spread his precum over the rest of his length. he leaned back slightly, his gaze never leaving her face. his dark eyes carried a silent command, the faintest nod of his head urging her to follow his lead. he didnât have to say a wordâhis confidence, his control, it was all laid bare in the way he watched her, waiting to see how far she would go.
it was then that y/n realized she couldn't back out now. not that she wanted toă
Ą her curiosity, mingled with the pull he had over her, kept her rooted in place. but it was starting to feel too real, the weight of the moment sinking in as she hesitated, unsure of what he was expecting. the fact that he left it up to her made it even more difficult. her mind raced as she nervously tugged at the bottom of her shirt, praying her choice would be enough to satisfy him.
heeseung's gaze didn't waver, his expression unreadable but intent, as though he were savoring every second of her hesitation. when she finally moved, lifting her shirt to display her breasts. her cheeks burned as she moved her hands over one, massaging and pinching her nipples. his lips twitched into the faintest smile. to her, his reaction was subtle, leaving her questioning if she'd done enough.Â
but to heeseung, it was everything. to him, everything about her was intoxicating, from the nervous way she moved, to the unsure glances she gave him. he would have been satisfied just seeing her collarbone. his heart raced at the thought of how easily she gave in, how willingly vulnerable she was in front of him. it inflated his ego even more, knowing he was the first to witness this side of her.
he forced himself to keep his expression composed, though his excitement was nearly impossible to contain. the speed of his fingers absentmindedly sped up, thinking of how heâd be able to relive it again later tonight. and heâd make sure to replay every moment, over and over, obsessing over the way she unwittingly gave herself to him.âah~ fuck, y/n,â he whimpered, unable to contain the heat growing over him. his eyes snapped shut, immediately imagining his hand to be hers. his hips bucked, as he began thrusting into his fist chasing the feeling of a body he knew now that he just had to get his hands on. tonight wasnât going to be enough, he needed more.Â
y/n didnât know where her confidence was coming from when her free hand snaked its way down to the hem of her shorts as she pushed past them straight into her panties. she scooted into a slouch allowing herself easier access as she began rubbing on her clit, the pressure soothing its throbbing ache and sending a sweet, shocking sensation throughout her body. she couldnât bite back the moan that slipped oută
Ą the noise sounding like music to heeseungâs ears. oh how jealous he was of her hands now. being able to touch her because he couldnât. it wasnât enough, nowhere near it.
âlook at me,â he murmured, his voice rough, making her cheeks flush as she slowly opened her eyes to meet his. his gaze was full of desire, making her feel small in a way that was strangely exhilarating. she found herself wanting nothing more than to impress him. she bit her lip as she quickly moved to lower the camera, aiming it to display more of her chest and downward before returning to her prior position on the chair. it didnât even matter to him that her shorts kept her beautiful cunt a mystery to himă
Ą the whole picture was so fucking sexy. the way she was playing with her nipples, pinching and rolling them, the speed of her circular motions increasing as she chased her orgasm, the way her tongue rested on her bottom lip before she bit it, the way sheă
Ą
âheeseung~ oh my god.â
fuck. if he was wasnât already stroking fast enough, he was moving at godspeed now. he wasnât sure how much longer he could hold back. he rubbed his thumb along his tipâs slit as he kept his pace, the action leaving his hips stuttering. he was so close, and y/n was too. she couldnât control the volume of her moans, gripping her breast like her life depended on it. âiâm gonna cum, oh my god, oh my god,â the desperation in her voice made him come undone as he bit back a loud, throaty moan. but she kept going, still chasing her climax as her moans got choked out the harder she went on herself.
just as she was about to cum, when she was almost there, her computer suddenly shut down. the screen went black without warning, leaving only an empty, lifeless void. heeseung watched as her screen flickered and then turned dark, his heart sinking in frustration. âfuck!â he swore, shooting forward in his chair, eyes fixed on the blank screen. he slammed a fist on the desk in irritation before quickly ending the recording. his hands moved frantically over the keyboard, reopening his hacking program, desperately trying to figure out what went wrong.
y/n didnât even notice, her orgasm crashed over her as she felt like every nerve, and cell in her body had come undone. she kept her eyes closed as she let out a breathless sigh, regaining her composure. after a few seconds, y/n opened her eyes to see that her laptop was blank. she frantically clicked on buttons trying to turn it on, clicking the power button which only displayed a red drained battery as if to mock her further. of all times it could have decided to die, why now? the frustration and panic settled in as she realized she may never get to see him again. she didnât have any ways to contact him, but would he even want to hear from her again? doubt clouded her mind. now there was no way of knowing. she wanted to keep talking to him, but the odds seemed slim. with a heavy sigh, she jumped up, scrambling to plug her laptop into the charger.
meanwhile, heeseung was still navigating through her information. he had closed out of omegle and now his focus was entirely on troubleshooting. he noticed her computer no longer showed up on the network, the last activity was two minutes ago. âthat piece of shit mustâve died,â he grumbled under his breath. he figured now would be the time to access her phoneâs camera as it would be useless trying to find her again on the website. switching servers on the program, he downloaded the data to his phone and went to lay down. he watched through the front camera on her phone, but it remained in the same spot unmoving. he was getting frustrated.
y/n had wasted almost 45 minutes skipping through hundreds of people in search of his face on omegle. but to no avail, his face never came up again. it was 6am, and she had plans with natty to go through with in the evening. as much as she didnât want to right now, she had to sleep. oth of them, in their own way, ended up resigned to their separate fates. y/n reluctantly accepted her defeat, bitterly acknowledging that the night had slipped away. but at least for heeseung, there was a sense of satisfaction in knowing he would have another chance to see her again. this wouldnât be the last time they crossed paths. heâd make sure of that.
Webcam Perv! (2)
#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen scenarios#enhypen x you#enhypen smut#heeseung x reader#heeseung x you#heeseung scenarios#enhypen heeseung#heeseung imagines#heeseung smut#heeseung x female reader
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Hi!, can I get some headcanons of transformers one character being jealous and the reader teases them.
D-16, Orion, Sentinel, Badassatron, and elita.
TF-ONE X READER
I tried to make this silly I'm feeling silly...enjoy
Post includes all of above :3
D-16
Tries to act unaffected by it, but doesnât make a huge deal
Usually
Heâs usually nice about it
Letâs say a bot is being really friendly with you, theyâre making you laugh and everything. D sees from the distance, then comes up to you. Placing a servo against the small of your back-frame. âHeyy whatâs so funny? I want to hear too :)â
Heâs forcing a smile so bad.
Heâs harmless, man, he trusts you completely
If another bot is for real flirting with you though, he's going to be so passive-aggressive
Itâs more like he wants ur attention lol
If you teased him about it heâs going to deny it so hard
"What? No, no no.. Iâm not jealous..pfft"
If youâre extra sweet maybe heâll admit it
NOO y/n.. Iâm funnier than them anyway.. Iâm cooler too..
Orion
Donât get jealous often either
He trusts you, heâs trustful of most bots
He gets jealous when you don't give him enough attention too
Youâll be talking to someone and heâll just be in the background like,
âIâm..Y/N? Hey I..y/n? Uhm..I'm..right here..â
Heâs so awkward, he doesnât want to be rude to either of you but heâs lonely!!
If you tease him about looking sad when youâre not looking at him all the time, heâll softly scoff.
"Well...yeah. They were flirting with you.."
sad puppy eyes
"Orion..they were asking me about Sentinels speech yesterday.."
"Oh...sorry."
eughhh
Sentinel
Oh boy
Itâs a mix of irritation and jealousy
Why are you looking at someone else! When you can be looking at him!
He might be an attention seeker. Heâll just say things to catch your attention.
âHey sweetspark, come look at my new paint job!â He calls you over as you're busy talking to someone else, he looks exactly the same btw
If you teased him I feel like heâll take it way too seriously
âJealous? What is there to be jealous of?? Iâm literally Sentinel??â
But then his insecurity starts
âWaitâŚdo you like talking to them more?â
evil sad puppy eyes
He'll only be content if you feed him compliments. Also erm..never talk to that bot again
#toxic
If he canât demote the bot he was jealous of, heâll try to one-up them, otherwise they are FIRED
After he gets over it heâll be extra affectionate. You also get affectionate when you tease him so maybe itâs not so bad after all
insert makeout session
B-127
Badassatron
Heâs definitely a bit attention and touch-starved after being stuck in low levels for who knows how many years
Itâs only logical that heâs glued to your side for the rest of your life
If heâs jealous itâs very obvious. He tries to do something to get your attention or awkwardly stands there
Hey y/n look at this! - Does a backflip and falls
Tease him about it and he gets flustered
"Whattt? No, Iâm not jealous!" He lets out a cocky laugh
âOk maybe a little..â
Kiss his faceplate all over and heâs yours
He's definitely the least harmful
If he's jealous about a bot he particularly dislikes or they're flirting with you out and about, he might be more passive-aggressive about it
"Hey don't mean to intrude or anything, but uh, I'm kinda busy with my PARTNER. And by PARTNER I mean we're together. Yeah, uh huh! So, if you don't mind, my PARTNER and I are going to ignore you now. Since we're y'know..busy being together."
Elita
Sheâs smug about her jealousy, but only you could tell
âNo, Iâm not jealous. What makes you think that?â
Meanwhile, sheâs giving the nastiest glare to the other bot.
âYou really need to stop bringing their hopes up. Did you hear the way they were flirting with you?â
âElita...they were just thanking me."
âDonât even look at them actually"
If you tease her, she either denies it or is very proud
Like yeah she got a little jealous, she has such an amazing partner and anyone in their right mind would see that too.
Or no..she's definitely not jealous. She's just speaking her mind
#transformers x reader#transformers one#cybertronian reader#d16 x reader#orion pax x reader#megatron x reader#optimus prime x reader#headcanons#sillyposting#elita x reader#b 127 x reader#bumblebee x reader#tf1 x reader#tfo x reader#tf one x reader#sentinel prime x reader
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don't date coworkers- s.r.
a/n: i literally wrote this very fast and also i hope you like it pls go easy on me!!! reader has a policy they don't date coworkers. spencer is so angsty abt that !! also sorry for dropping a new fic at 2am LOL wc: 1.7k
Sheâs really, really good at talking to people.Â
Itâs one of the many traits Spencer adores about her. She moves through crowds with ease, and she can charm her way into any piece of information from whatever city cop they need a favor from. She integrated into the team faster than anyone couldâve expected. This is a strength not all profilers have- they know what it takes to know what makes someone appealing, but rare is the ability to be as charismatic and charming as she is.Â
Sheâs good at talking to him.
Sheâs worked at the BAU for about a year now. 13 months, 7 days and 8 hours since she walked through the doors of the bullpen for the first time, beaming at him for the very first time. Give or take.Â
Spencer wouldnât be surprised if everyone knew that he was in love with her. Heâs halfway certain she does, and is being too polite to mention it. Normally, Spencer is incredibly regimented about boundaries. While the BAU is his family, and thereâs no real way to deny that, he knows that heâs less than ideal to go out with. Heâs stocky and he never cuts his hair (even though she swears itâs cute longer) and heâs an awkward guy- gangly and tall and just ill-fitting to be part of the scenery of her life.Â
Itâs a Friday, and a rainy one at that. Itâs one of the blessed ones where they donât really have a case, just paperwork to catch up on, reports and her desk faces a window.Â
Normally, when Spencer gets his work done (a good four hours before everyone else on a paperwork-only day), heâd head out. Catch up on whatever Russian novel heâs been chipping away at- but sheâs here, and heâs made her favorite tea.Â
âI thought you could use a treat,â he says, walking over to her desk. She looks up at him, brushing overgrown bangs, âItâs not really a great one, but Iâll get you some scones on the way to mine, yeah?â
She looks up at him, dropping her pen and focusing entire energy on him. He feels a bit overwhelmed, like an ant under a magnifying glass.Â
âDid you know that I adore you, Spence?âÂ
He is very much not aware. No amount of her saying it will ever make him know. She takes a long sip from the mug. He knows how much honey she likes in it. He studies how she looks, eyes closed serenely, completely invested in what heâs given her.Â
âYouâll be taking her home, pretty boy?â Morgan snickers, in a not altogether unkind manner.Â
âFuck off,â she says kindly, not taking her eyes off of Spencer as she rebuffed Morganâs teasing.Â
âEasy, easy,â Morgan laughs, âIâll leave your boyfriend alone.â
If she has anything to say to that, it doesnât come out then.Â
Heâs still bright red, though. Morgan is amused, and Spencer knows that she really, truly adores Morgan. Spencer loves him too, but it would be nice if he laid off the jokes.Â
She doesnât date coworkers.Â
He knows this because of the first time theyâd met, when heâd been walking in carrying a croissant for Garcia and a coffee for JJ, and saw what can only be described as a truly ridiculously beautiful woman in the bullpen.Â
Sheâd been leaned back, smiling openly as Morgan tossed some random pick-up line towards her. He remembers it now like he can still hear it, her lilting lovely voice carrying just the right amount of warmth to make this not sting, or at least sting as little as possible.Â
âIâm sorry, Derek,â she had said, âI make it a point not to date coworkers.âÂ
Which of course is fine. She can date whoever she wants, and itâs a good policy to have personally. And Spencerâs never really be the kind of guy who excelled at getting dates. He knew from the first minute that he saw her that even if she didnât think that way⌠well, it wouldnât be him, who she picked.Â
Now, they are very close. So close that she drives him home from work every Friday. Which usually includes staying at his shitty apartment and watching VHS tapes of documentaries and Doctor Who.Â
He wants to kiss her every Friday. All, the time, really. Itâs kind of plaguing him. Clearly, she likes hanging out with him. Something about him is appealing. Itâs foolish to assume that itâs more than friends, especially for someone like him to be with someone like her.Â
She doesnât date coworkers.Â
âI made sure the film tonight has subtitles!â
âAre you saying film because this film is foreign, Spence?â
âI promise itâs worth it!â He says excitedly, âAnd theyâre really done well. You wonât have to have me whisper the translations to you in real time!â
âI didnât mind that,â She laughs then, a real laugh, âbut Iâm glad weâre getting to hang out tonight.â
Itâs funny- theyâve done this so, so many times, but he never stops being thrilled.Â
___________________________________
Sometimes, when the summer air is forgiving enough, they walk home from the office. She takes the train in, and they walk back to his place. Tonight is one of these nights, and god- she looks lovely. Sheâs tied her blazer around her waist, and the sunset hits her face in that gorgeous baroque painting kind of way.Â
âYouâre very pretty,â he hears himself say before he can stop it. Heâs endlessly pleased when she preens at the praise.Â
âYouâre not so bad yourself, Doctor,â she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, a nervous gesture. He wants to hold those hand, intertwine her lovely delicate fingers with his bony wispy fingers.Â
âYouâre being nice to me,â he says, looking down at his shoes. Theyâre stupid. He should wear loafers, or some other shoe that doesnât make him like half-child half-geek.Â
âIâm being accurate, actually,â she says she bumps his shoulder.Â
Sheâd be a wonderful girlfriend. He lives in the world this can happen quite often, in his fantasy. She laughs at his jokes and tells him heâs kind, and good, and she means it. Heâs lucky to have this much of her- more than anyone else on the team! Spencer knows heâs her favorite. The way sheâs looking at him now, how she give-up her Fridays to spend with him, on his ratty couch, how she always listens. Whenever they're both on the jet and he falls asleep, he always wakes up with a blanket on him. She's so good at loving people.
Being her favorite on the team does not mean heâs in the running to be a boyfriend. But heâd fucking want to be. Heâd be a good boyfriend. Spencer, heâs gone so far for her. He fantasizes about getting her flowers that have symbolic meaning.
âAre you okay, boy-genius?â
âIâm better than okay. Do you want popcorn?â
She wants popcorn. He sets the movie up, and she gets comfortable on his couch, curling up with his purple felt blanket, and his mind betrays him with unhelpful images of what it might look like if she was his, if this is what he came home to.Â
Don't picture welcome home kisses, or movie nights or being wanted. Don't.
Itâs very, very hard to focus on the movie. Â
Sheâs touchy, with him. Heâs not sure if itâs because she could never see him as her boyfriend, but heâs grateful as she leans her head on his. She smells like peonies. When the credits roll, they stay like that for minute- her head on his shoulder and one of her legs thrown over his.Â
He wonders, not for the first time, if she feels the same way about him. If things were just..different, then theyâd be kissing under the haze of his TV right now, if heâd know what that chapstick she carries with her every day tastes like.Â
âDo you ever wonder what itâd be like if we met under different circumstances?â he says, once time passes and he speaks instead of thinking.
âHmm?â She hummed, relaxed eyes flitting their gaze over to him.
âLike, at a bar or something.â
âBut you hate bars.â
âThatâs why I said or something!â
Her lip juts out adorably, âBut then I wouldnât get to see you in your element.â
âYeah,â he sighs, resting his neck on the top of the cushion. The AC is a little too much in the room. He wonders if sheâs cold. âBut who knows. Maybe weâd date, or something.â
Itâs the dumbest thing heâs ever fucking said. Both because it was a dumb way to say it, but because it was an advance. He feels white hot shame lick at his spine when he looks at her, and hears her laugh.Â
âI donât think so, Spence.âÂ
âNo,â shitshitshit, âI didnât mean-â
âI mean, if you donât want to date me now, I donât think meeting at like, Whole Foods wouldâve been the difference maker.â
Itâs then he hears it- the piece he couldnât place in her voice, when she gets like this. Itâs being resigned.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âCâmon, Spence,â she says, another bitter chuckle coming through, âYou know how I feel. I havenât exactly beens subtle.â
âBut you donât date coworkers. You have a rule.â
She looks at him with no recognition of what heâs saying.Â
âNo, because you told Morgan that, itâs the first thing I ever heard you say.â
âYeah, but-â
âAnd yes, okay, youâve been my favorite person almost as long as Iâve known you and yes, I would fucking love for you to be my girlfriend, but that was your rule!â
âYou want me to be your girlfriend?â
âObviously!â
He doesnât get the chance to say anything else before, well- before sheâs kissing him. More aggressive than that, really. Crawled onto his lap, arms around his neck, and where she leads Spencer is all too happy to follow. His body is not great at moving on instinct, but his whole nervous system feels alive- the weight of her in his lap, the feel of her waist under his fingers, the way heâs allowed this. It feels like such a pleasure, hedonistic in a way heâs never, ever been allowed to experience.
âYou had a rule,â he says dumbly when she pulls away. His lips are wet. Heâd like to go back to kissing, thank you very much.Â
âYouâre the exception, to every rule, Spencer.â
When he kisses her again (which heâs allowed to do now, holy fuck) Spencer decides heâs going to spend the rest of all time earning that status.Â
#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x reader
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Hole in the Earth
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Fem!Reader
Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Angst, Smut, Panic Attacks, Mentions of Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Loss and Death, Age Gap (not mentioned but there are assumptions of an age gap if you squint a bit, thereâs no full acknowledgment ), Mentions of Blood/Bleeding. The warnings for smut specifically; p in v sex (unprotected, wrap it before you tap it though!), fingering, oral (fem receiving), Praise kink if you squint, light choking (nothing too serious though), Bucky talks you through it (wink wink nudge nudge)
Author's Note: I wanted to do an actual series for this original character, but I didnât feel like committing to something so big with my job, so I thought Iâd stick to a one-shot format for this one. I know some things may not be totally accurate (this is my first time actually putting something out there that is based off of the MCU, I changed things up a bit, but not extremely, at least I hope lol.) Hopefully yâall enjoy though :) .
Word Count: 13,347 (Talk about slow burn eh? Seeing this word count made my jaw drop when I checked it at the end. What an extravaganza lol)
Some people filled silence with noiseâsmall talk, jokes, distractions, awkward anecdotes, laughter even.
But you and Bucky?
You never needed words.
Your partnership had formed without much thought, an unspoken decision, a quiet inevitability. No one ever sat down and said, "You two should work together," but after everythingâafter the turmoil from the snap, all the loss, all the grief, and the way neither of you truly fit into what remained of the team anymoreâit just happened naturally.
You had both come back to a world that had existed without you for five years. It was like a blur to you. It felt like nothing had happened until you saw the people you loved had aged significantly since the last time you had seen them, or you had lost them by that point.
To deviate from you Bucky had spent decades as a ghost, lost in time, fighting to take back something that had been stripped from him, and the five-year disappearance from the world felt like an eternity. You had heard him mention in passing that it was as if he was in a room with nothing but white around him, and he was all alone. Not only that but when he returned it took him a long time to adjust to the new normal.
Steve was gone.
Natasha was gone.
Tony was gone.
And you?
You were still here, stuck in a limbo between mourning and moving forward, existing in a place that didnât feel like home anymore. Sam tried to make things easier, tried to be a stand-in for Tony, but it was no use, you told him to stop early on in his attempts, and he respected the request.
Bucky somehow understood your loss better than most of the team, even though he had returned to the same ruins you did. He didnât bother you with the questions everyone else had when you came back to the compound, he gave you a nod of acknowledgement and tiptoed around you like you were a bomb that was going to explode at any moment, which was something that you ended up preferring.
So when the missions started up again, when the world needed something resembling the Avengers to step forward, it was an unspoken agreementâyou and him, always paired together. You knew you wouldnât be able to handle anyone else other than him.
It worked though.
The both of you kept things mission-focused and ignored whatever was happening outside of that. He never brought up your past, and you never brought up his, and even when there was downtime during the mission you stayed quiet, waiting in silence until you needed to step in.
But now?
Now the most recent mission had gone to hell, and you were stuck alone with him in a safe house, forced into a kind of closeness you had never prepared for.
The mission was supposed to be simple.
A HYDRA facility hidden beneath an abandoned city block, data that needed to be extracted, an easy exfiltration plan. When Sam had explained it you felt like you were having Deja Vu because of how many missions had been like this.
The plan had been clearâ
Infiltrate.
Extract the data.
Get out.
You never made it past step two.
The power core in the lower level ruptured, sending a shockwave through the entire structure.
The explosion came too fast, too strong, it wasnât something you prepared for at all.
You had barely made it to cover before the heat ripped through the walls, short-circuiting everything electronic based in the areaâincluding the Neural Stabilizer locked around your throat.
You had felt it immediately.
The pulse of static in your bones, the electricity surging through your limbs with nowhere to go, the sensation of drowning in yourself. You laid on the cold metal, breathing in through the pain that echoed through your entire body, attempting to calm your nervous system down before things got out of your control.
"You alright?" Bucky called from the level above you.
You had forced yourself to swallow the panic as you raised your head to look up to where he was, only seeing his shadow at that point.
"Iâm fine." You replied.
A lie.
Because you could feel the stabilizer glitching, flickering between control and chaos, the red warning light at your throat blinking erratically. It didnât go unnoticed by Bucky though, even though you wished it had.
âAre you sure?â He asked, watching you struggle to push yourself up from the metal, seeing a pulse of faint blue static running across the floor. You closed your eyes tightly.
âYes. Iâm positive. Just cover me so I can get to you, then we can get the hell out of here.â
You had to push forward.
Because you had no choice.
Because if you didnât keep moving, neither of you were getting out alive. But if you had a choice you wouldâve stayed right where you were.
By the time you had escaped the facility, hot-wired a car, and driven two hours through the backroads to the nearest safe houseâyour entire body was on fire with unstable currents flowing through your blood. You were in such agony holding everything in that you had almost collapsed onto the ground when you exited the car.
Bucky had watched you run towards the cabin, observed the way you almost broke the doorknob and locked him out all within seconds. By the time he had entered the cabin you were out of his sight, and barricaded inside the washroom.
When you slammed the door closed you immediately turned on the dim light of the enclosed space, stripping off your tactical gear with shaking hands, leaving you in just a pair of shorts and a white tank top. You threw your utility belt onto the counter beside the sink, trying your best to catch your breath, feeling a burning sensation building inside your chest, clawing at the bones. You braced yourself against the porcelain sink, bringing your eyes up to your reflection, looking at the red glow of the Neural Stabilizer flashing on your neck, each pulse more erratic than the last.
Tony had promised it would always work.
Now it was failing as you stood there.
You reached up to touch the fried titanium of the neck plate, feeling the warmth radiating off it, as the light above you glowed brighter for a brief moment before returning to its normal state. That was the only warning sign you needed to kick yourself into high gear. You opened up your gear pouch, fumbling through the various tools you had, until you found what you needed. The tiny utility screwdriver, the one Tony had told you to keep on you at all times. You thanked your past self that they actually listened to him for once.
âItâs just for backup, kid, but if you ever need it, donât panic. You got this.â You could hear his voice in your head, you could picture the moment he gave it to you and you reluctantly threw it into the gear pouch, making sure he witnessed you do it.
You pushed the memory out of your head and forced yourself to focus, returning your gaze back to your reflection, stretching your neck out so there was enough lighting. Your eyes trailed over the grooves of the metal, finding the space where the first latch would be. You shifted again, turning your head to the side before bringing the screwdriver to the first screw that secured the panelâ
âââ
"Hold still, Sparkplug," Tony muttered, adjusting the metal band around your neck so that it was fitting snugly against your skin, "You fidget more than Peter, and thatâs saying something."
You sighed, tilting your chin up, watching him work in the reflection of the mirror.
"Feels like a shock collar." You commented, digging your nails into the palm of your hand.
"Yeah, well, better than the alternative." He replied, looking at you out of the corner of his eye, before returning his gaze to the stabilizer. "Unless you like turning every elevator ride into a death trap." He added.
You scowled.
"Itâs not that bad."
"Tell that to the toasters and light bulbs you murdered last week. You know I think I stepped on some of the broken glass you forgot to sweep up." You felt your lips tilt slightly at the joking tone he took.
"That was an accident."
"Yeah, and Iâm accidentally a millionaire genius." He tightened the clasp on the metal, sliding his stool back to examine his work. "Alright. Try not to electrocute me when you test it out."
You hesitated, looking at the stabilizer in the mirror, seeing the signature blue glow that Tony had in his chest piece now reflecting off of your very own Stark Industries creation.
"Youâre sure this will work?"
Tonyâs smirk faded slightly, his expression softening at the worry that laced your voice. You had come a long way since he had taken you under his wing, but he knew you still struggled with keeping the power under wraps, it was evident by the way everything would short circuit even when you were feeling happy, it trapped you. When he designed the stabilizer all he wanted was for you to feel normal, and this was the one thing that he was confident in providing.
"Yeah, kid." His hand rested lightly on your shoulder. "Iâm sure.â
âAnd what if it malfunctions?â You questioned, your hand now tracing the ridges of the titanium.
âIâll be there to fix itâŚI promise Y/N. I wouldnât let it get to that point anyways. Routine maintenance will prevent that Iâm sure.â
Back then, you had believed him.
Because Tony always kept his promises.
âââ
Your hands trembled as you worked on the stabilizer, the screwdriver slipping between your fingers while you twisted it into the second latch. The sharp edge of the tool had sliced against the sensitive skin on your neck three times at this point, and the droplets of blood began to stain your hands. The faint pain began to curl into itself, causing the lights to brighten once again, only this time it remained that way. The tips of your fingers began to veil themselves in the mesh-like glow that slowly stretched along your skin, another bad sign that you needed to get yourself under control.
Your breath came in shallow, panicked gasps, watching the red light blinking faster and faster with each mistake you made, almost as if it was in sync with your pulse.
You couldnât do this, and there was no doubt that by the end of this, you would have a hazardous explosion waiting to happen. You wouldnât be surprised if youâd take out the whole town.
You were going toâ
"Breathe, kid." Tonyâs voice warned.
You couldnât help but remember the video he had left in your inbox, dated the day before his death. You hadnât looked at it for three weeks, you werenât ready to see him at that point, you were grieving, but the day that you decided to click on it to listen, and to watchâŚYou knew it was going to be seared into your memory.
âââ
Tony sat at his workbench, rubbing a hand over his face, scratching at the stubble on his chin almost in frustration. His hair was a little longer, a little messier, and the exhaustion on his face was worse than youâd ever seen it.
"Alright, kid. If youâre watching this, then congratulations. You survived. You came back. And IâŚWellâŚI didnât, unless you are watching this for fun, which is absolutely weird, but whatever.â
A pause, he sighs, licking his dry lips, trying to search for what he was going to say.
"Not that Iâd know, obviously, because I made this before all the very bad, end-of-the-world war type stuff went down, but Iâd like to think I got to go out in a blaze of glory."
His lips tugged up, but there was no humor behind it.
"Which, by the way, is something I told you not to do a thousand times, so letâs not make this a trend, okay?"
You had let out a choked laugh, tears already stinging at your eyes. He took another pause, shaking his head.
"Five years." He exhaled hard, tapping his fingers against the desk. "Youâve been gone for five whole years, and I gotta tell you, kid, itâs sucked. Like, really sucked. We have this whole âSave the Worldâ initiative going on, and I keep looking around thinking, âWhere the hell is my electric gremlin when I need her?â But no. You were gone. Taken just like that."
He snapped his fingers, inhaling deeply through his nose, trying to control his voice.
"And that?" His tone dropped lower, something raw scraping at the edges. "That was a real bitch."
You pressed a hand against your mouth, trying not to break down, trying to keep yourself as composed as you could.
"You left, and everything was just⌠quieter. Too quiet. No more blowing out the labâs power grid on purpose because you got pissed at me. No more stealing my coffee and blaming it on Rhodey. No more dumb science debates about whether or not your powers count as a renewable energy source. Just⌠nothing."
His fingers curled into a fist, hitting his knuckles lightly against the workbench.
"I miss you, kid. And I know I didnât say it enough when I had the chance, so Iâm saying it now."
A sharp inhale. There was a cut in the footage. Now his position had changed, and he was standing.
"Youâre back though. And I need you to listen, alright?"
You sat up nodding, even though he couldnât see you.
"This thing?" He said, tapping a Neural Stabilizer on his own throat.
"Yeah, I made one for myself. No, I donât need it. But youâre a visual learnerâor maybe you just donât trust me unless I put myself in your shoes. Either way, I made one so I could show you how easy this is to fix."
He sighed.
"Anyways, letâs be real. If this thing is flickering red, that means something bad happened. Maybe you got hit by an EMP. Maybe you took too many hits in a fight, and someone broke it. Maybe the universe just hates us both equally, who knows. But if itâs failing, that means youâre going to short-circuit because your body wonât know what to do with all the excess energy. And when you short-circuit, so does everything else around you. That means streetlights, security systems, Wi-Fiâ" he gestures around him with his hands "âyou know, everything people actually need to function."
You sniffled, pressing your fingers against your lips.
"So. Letâs fix it before you blackout an entire city block, huh?"
His eyes softened, something warm but worn behind them.
"You got this, kid. You always have."
A pause.
"Alright. First stepâpop the latch. Gently put the screwdriver into the large metal coil, it should be bright orange if the stabilizer is malfunctioning due to the overheating. Twist it counterclockwise. And whatever you do, do notâ"
ââ-
You pressed too hard.
The screwdriver slipped, and another sharp sting burned across your neck, the blood now dripping down your neck and soaking into the tank top you wore.
"Shit." You muttered, your fingers flying to your throat, wiping off the blood as much as you could, your pulse hammering throughout your entire body, as the crimson liquid smeared across your skin.
Before you could even process the impending pain, the Neural Stabilizerâs light turned off completely.
Without missing a beat a violent pulse of static erupted outward, a crackling, jagged burst of energy tearing free from your body.
The lightbulbs overhead shattered, raining sparks and broken glass onto the tiles, lightly cutting up some of your exposed flesh. The mirror fractured down the middle, sharp cracks splintering outward, but not fully falling off the surface.
The entire safe house went dark, the fridge cut out, the security system fried, the cell towers blinked offline. In the kitchen, Bucky sat at the rickety dining table, thinking about whether or not it would be a good idea to try to come in and help. Even after the power surge, he was still on the fence about going and intruding on what was happening in there, not out of fear, but out of what he might have to do to get everything under control.
Inside the bathroom, the only light left was coming from you, and now the soapy smell that had once filled the room had been taken over by the crisp smell of ozone, as if a rain storm just occurred.
Your reflection in the mirror flickered, illuminated by the uneven, stuttering glow of electricity crawling over your skin. Tiny spiderweb cracks of raw current slithered up your arms, twisting beneath the surface, licking along your fingertips, wrapping around your body, almost like it was a reunion. The stabilizer narrowed the current down significantly when it was on, without it there was no regulation.
The charge had nowhere to go. It buzzed, and coiled, desperate for an escape, trying to find something to attach to. Your body felt too full, like a live wire wound too tight, ready to snap apart, and now the pain was truly starting to settle in, deep inside your bones, causing your blood to curl.
"No, no, noâ"
You repeated, slamming your hand against the countertop. A sharp crack of static arced outward, splitting the porcelain, hairline fractures splintering in front of you.
Your breath hitched in your throat, as every muscle in your body seized.Your heart pounded painfully against your chest, erratic, franticâ
Then the doorknob rattled.
"Hey."
It was Bucky.
"You okay?"
The words barely registered with you, it sounded muffled, drowned beneath the buzzing that rang through your ears. You could feel your pulse spike violently, as panic slammed through your ribs like a live wire.
You couldnât answer the simple question.
Couldnât breathe.
Couldnât stop the charge from rising once again.
The electricity under your skin wouldnât settle, wouldnât stop expanding, the raw static skittered along your body, flaring out in thin veins of uncontrolled current.
"Iâ" you croaked, holding onto your chest, trying to stabilize your voice from shaking.
The door creaked open.
And before you could even react, the barricade was removed from between the both of you.
Bucky stood in the dim blue glow, still dressed in the majority of his tactical gear, minus the weapons. The glass crunched under his boots as he stepped into the washroom, his sharp and guarded expression softening when his eyes locked onto the scene in front of him.
His gaze flickered over the shattered bulbs, and the fractured mirror, and when he breathed in the smell of static tickled his nose, almost like someone had taken chlorine and mixed it with metal.
Then his eyes landed on you. Your trembling hands, your shaking shoulders, the way your body twitched with the electric currents still pulsing beneath your skin, his eyes watched the glowing cracks spread along your arms. He could see in the lighting that your neck was bleeding, and that your stabilizer was practically fried. At this point, he concluded that he in fact didnât know where to start.
âY/NâŚâ His voice was dripping with concern, trying to piece together what he could do.
You tried to speak, tried to tell him to go away but all that came out was a gut-wrenching sob, the panic and fear sinking its claws deeper into your ribs.
"Hey, you need to breathe," Bucky instructed his voice low, calm, and even. But you couldnât. Couldnât stop shaking, couldnât pull yourself back from the static buzzing inside your skull, it was mind-numbing. The only thing that snapped you out of your haze was the crunching of glass beneath Buckyâs boots, as he stepped towards you.
"Don'tâ" You snapped, desperate to keep him away. "I canâtâ I canât shut it offâŚJust stayâŚStay back Bucky." Your hands trembled, as your arms locked up, the muscles tightening, like a cord was wrapping around them. The crunching noise stopped, but the buzzing in your ears didnât, as you leaned your body on the sink, moaning through the stinging pain that ran up your spine.
âListen I canât just leave you in here like this, what can I do to help?â You could feel your knees go numb while you were trying to contain whatever was building up to release next. You braced yourself against the counter, cushioning the drop to the ground as much as possible. Your bare knees felt the impact of the glass as the sharp edges dug into the thin flesh, a grunt escaping your throat, while you were attempting to shift slightly to the side before putting all your weight on the front portion of the counter.
âJust go away.â Was all you could muster to say through your short sobs of pain, âPlease just go.â You begged, tears now streaming down your cheeks, as you put your forehead onto the edge of the porcelain sink, letting the cold temperature even out the heat that was radiating off your skin.
Bucky didnât move, didnât heed your request to leave, instead he crouched down, and sat on the glass-covered floor, with his arms resting on his knees. He watched you closely, noting how your body would tremble every couple of seconds, or how the static that covered every exposed area of your skin buzzed lightly at any sign of movement.
âPlease leave.â You choked out again, barely above a whisper. Bucky sighed, his jaw clenching at the rawness in your voice. The last-ditch effort to push him away before anything worse happened, before you hurt him.
âIâm not going anywhere Y/NâŚIt would go against my better judgment.â He replied, clenching and unclenching his vibranium hand, contemplating. He knew what he needed to do, but had no clue how he would execute the plan without you possibly lashing out at him.
He glanced back up at you, watching as your grip tightened on the edge of the sink, another strangled whimper escaping into the room. You were already so far gone at this point that there was no way you were going to come back without additional help, at least thatâs what Bucky was starting to conclude from what was transpiring in front of him.
Another burst of static snapped out from you, slashing against the mirror, fully breaking the reflective pieces, hearing the shattering as it fell into the sink, splintering, leaving small superficial wounds on the tips of your fingers, lines of red blooming across your knuckles. You didnât even register the pain.
Bucky barely flinched, because at this point he wasnât going to wait anymore, and now that you were distracted he took the opportunity. Quickly he brought himself forward and wrapped his vibranium arm around your waist, pulling you against him with more force than he intended. Your back collided against his chest, and immediately you could feel your body locking up in his grip as his other arm wrapped around your waist to try to stabilize you so you werenât thrashing on the glass-covered ground. You could feel your lungs seize up.
âLet me go!â You twisted violently in his hold, as you dug your nails into his right arm, trying to loosen the restraint he formed around your body. You slammed your back into his chest, attempting to wind him, but it was no use, Bucky was a solid unmoving force at this point, and he remained locked around you. Another fresh stream of tears ran down your cheeks. He could feel your body heating up against his as he adjusted, trying to get you to stop thrashing.
âBucky, pleaseâŚâ Your voice cracked, a sob tearing from your throat, feeling another burst of static snapping around you, at whatever was near, it was lashing out until it found Buckyâs arm, as the blue static slipped into the limb causing the vibranium to light up. A crackling wave of electricity ran up each plate, filling the thin gaps between each one. This realization only made you thrash against him even harder.
âY/N Iâm fine! Stop it, youâre not hurting me.â He insisted, tightening his arms around you once again as you began to shake against him. âLook,â He murmured. Through the haze of your panic, you forced yourself to focus, your gaze trailing down to the arm that was clenched around you. The shock and static wasnât building, or lashing outward, it was being absorbed. Bucky could almost feel your body relax at the sight, even though you were still wheezing and breathing too fast.
âItâs not hurting me.â He repeated again, but all you could hear was the buzzing inside your skull, it was deafening. Your vision blurred as you made small attempts to push him away, even though it was of no use, he didnât budge. He was steady, controlled, and unfazed, as his ears tuned into the way you were breathing, the panicked wheezing.
âY/N, you have to breatheâŚCan you feel me breathing?â He asked, trying to hide the urgency behind his voice, adjusting again so now he was able to see the side of your face, and the way your pupils were blown out. His damp hair tickled the side of your face, as he leaned forward trying to make sure you were practically cocooned in him, almost mimicking an emergency blanket in a way. You could feel yourself trembling in his arms, as his right hand came up to intertwine with yours, guiding your palm to rest flat against your chest, right over your heart.
âY/N, focus on meâŚIf you can hear me, focus on my breathing.â He instructed, holding you closer to him so your back was directly pressed into his chest. You could feel his body rise and fall against you, even, measuredâŚA slow inhale, a gentle exhale.
âMatch me.â He whispered, his warm breath sticking to the exposed skin of your shoulder. You attempted to breathe in as deeply as he did, feeling a burning sensation creep up along the sides of your ribs. The exhale came out fast and uneven from you, but Bucky didnât rush the process, as he took in another breath, his chest expanding against your back. You attempted to take in another breath, but this time it came a little easier, even though it still felt like every bone in your body had its own personal vice grip around it. Black dots began to pebble into your sight, feeling a numbness washing over you.
âGoodâŚNow let it out.â Was the last thing you heard before your vision went dark.
------
The first thing you heard when you regained consciousness was music.
Soft and slow, floating through the air in a smooth jazz melody, rich with nostalgia. The mellow voice of the crooner was claiming he would never smile again, as the lyrics gently carried over the hum of the muted trumpets, the backup singers harmonized the man's sorrow while the serenade continued. It felt like a lullaby that was meant for another time.
Then everything else began to settle in; the bed beneath you, the rough comforter scratching against the backs of your legs. The blanket on top of you pulled up to your neck, enveloping you in its warmth. A dull ache lingered in every area of your body, your hands were sore, your face felt swollen from the crying that you had done, and it felt like if you attempted to move you would throw up. But at least your breathing was finally stable. No longer ragged or filled with panic. It was a relief in a way.
The music continued as your ears caught the sound of a soft tapping in rhythm with the song. A gentle exhale released into the room. Bucky. Slowly, you forced your heavy eyelids open, as the stucco ceiling came into your sight, the dimmed emergency lights providing a soft hue to the space. You tilted your head up so your chin was settled on your chest, noticing that you were still wearing the white tank top that was now stained with your blood. The way you were able to move your neck with such ease also made you realize that you didnât have your stabilizer on, which brought on another concern, as you laid your eyes on the sight before you.
Bucky sat at the kitchen table, illuminated by his cell phone, which was leaning against one of the salt shakers, the light casting shadows along his jaw and cheeks. His hair looked damp and curled in on itself like he was fresh out of the shower, and you had noticed he wasnât in his regular combat gear. Instead, he had on a black, form-fitting long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of matching cargo pants. He was so lost in what he was doing that his gaze was practically glued to the table, and you could tell he was fiddling with something that you couldnât particularly see. You tried to lean up onto your elbows to try and catch a glimpse of what he was doing, only to have your knees scream out in pain when you accidentally bent them. A hiss escaped your throat, automatically breaking Buckyâs concentration on what he was working on, as his head snapped in your direction, putting down whatever he was working on to pay attention to you.
âTake it easy. You still have glass in your knees.â He informed, hesitating to tell you that he hadnât pulled out the shards when you were passed out. You groaned at the sentence, your body dropping back against the pillow, as you reached up to massage your head, trying to mend an impending migraine.
âI feel like Iâve been through a few rounds with a freight train.â You said, closing your eyes tightly at the sound of the rawness of your voice.
âWellâŚThatâs kind of what happens when you go nuclear on yourself.â He muttered, leaning back in his seat, his gaze locking on you as you dragged your hands down your face. He nervously tapped his fingers on the table, biting the inside of his lip, âYou scared me yâknow.â The words fell from his mouth before he could even stop himself, the admission causing you to let out a ragged sigh.
âIt wasnât my intention to do that.â He shook his head.
âIntentions donât mean much when youâre screaming for me to go away and youâve caused every light bulb in the place to explode.â You could hear the control he had on his voice, the way he took his breaths so that his words didnât waver. He was bothered by what you had done, there was no doubting that, but you had never heard him speak like this before.
âAre you honestly going to pick a fight with me right now? Could this not wait until the glass gets taken out of my knees?â You snapped, as your body began to slowly heat up. He scoffed at your suggestion, shaking his head in disbelief.
âNo. It canât wait, because the second I come to help youâre going to avoid the conversation.â You rolled your eyes.
âJesus Christ Bucky. I get it.â
âDo you?â He questioned. You clenched your jaw as you pushed yourself up so you were able to look at him, to hash this out before it killed your partnership. Your knees seared at the quick movement while you settled on the bed, but you shoved the pain aside, keeping the tensity in your eyes.
âI donât know what the fuck you want me to say. Do you want me to say sorry I didnât tell you about the stabilizer breaking as I was attempting to not fucking explode around you?!â You shot back, squeezing your hand into a fist, trying to hold in the static that began to line your skin again.
âI want you to say you trust me. Because right now it doesnât feel like it, and if weâre going to continue working together, I need that reassurance.â You looked up from your hands, catching his hardened gaze, seeing the betrayal in his eyes.
âYou know I trust you.â You stated, watching as he shook his head, and stood up from his seat.
âDo I? Because you donât act like it. Do you remember what just happened an hour and a half ago? You had plenty of opportunity to tell me what the hell was going on and you refused. I had to come in and see you in absolute shambles, do you understand how that felt?â Your eyes followed him as he paced.
âI didnât want you to see me like that, you made a choi-.â
âI chose to take care of you!â He snapped, his voice raising in volume, the reaction making you flinch, not because you were scared, but because he had never yelled at you like that. âThatâs what any teammate would do. But you make it impossible unless itâs forced on you, which is what I had to resort to. Do you think that made me feel good?â He asked, looking over at you, his eyes shimmering in the light. The guilt hit you harder than any punch you had taken, truly realizing how much pain you had put him in. You could see the way his hands twitched at his sides, remembering the way he was holding you and restraining your movements, reliving the moment over and over again as you fought against him.
âI-I was afraid I was going to hurt you Bucky, thatâs why I was fighting you. I didnât want to hurt you, or even worse kill youâŚâ The words were heavy when they left your lips, âYou may think youâre invincible, but you couldâve diedâŚAnd then what? I lose another person I care about?â You could immediately see his eyes soften at your words and the way that your voice was shaking and cracking as you attempted to keep it steady. He held your gaze, keeping his spot at the side of the table, but now he was holding the edge of it, leaning on it for support. You could see the frustration in his eyes draining away with every moment that passed as he connected the dots.
âSo thatâs what this is about?â He asked softly, the sharpness from earlier being replaced with something gentler, caring. He ran his hand through his hair,â...You do know Iâm 106 years old and have gone through way worse than a little bit of electricity right?â You were surprised by the sudden change in his tone, detecting the trail of humour that laced his words.
âAnd that this new armâŚâ He lifted his vibranium hand into your line of sight, flexing his fingers, letting the dim light catch against the matte black material âDoesnât allow you to hurt me correct? The material just absorbs it. You saw it when I showed you in the washroom, you even stopped fighting me when you saw it. It doesnât have a voltage limit or anything soâŚI donât think it wouldâve been possible for you to kill me. Does that help cure your worries?â He asked, letting the question hang in the air, leaning against the table again. You let out a slow breath and nodded, but you didnât reply, you just let the intensity of the argument die down. The jazz music faded in again now, filling the silence for a few beats until you absentmindedly replied to him.
âYouâre 106?â His lips pressed into a firm line, thrown off by the abrupt shift in conversation.
âThatâs all you got from that speech I just gave you? Really?â You shrugged.
âI meanâŚYou carry yourself pretty well, you donât look a day over 100.â You said, tilting your head to the side to feign consideration âMmm, actually maybe I would even go as far as saying you could pass for 90.â He shook his head at you, but you could see he was fighting a smile from appearing on his lips, as he reached up to rub the stubble on his face.
âAbsolutely ridiculous.â He wasnât annoyed, nor frustrated, it sounded like he was relieved, because neither of you wanted to admit it, but you didnât like where the conversation was going, the both of you didnât want to fight over something like that, you were supposed to be partners. The weight of the argument was settled, and you both were thankful for that. You let some time pass, just to allow each other to come down from the adrenaline until you cleared your throat.
âIâm sorry by the way.â You said quietly, earning a soft sigh from him, he opened his mouth to interrupt, but you held up your hand to stop him, âI didnât mean to shut you out. You had every right to be angry with me, and I shouldnât have fought you, I shouldâve just allowed you to help me.â Bucky nodded, his blue eyes locking onto yours again.
âIâm sorry too. I didnât mean to yell at you, I lost my temperâŚAnd I didnât mean to scare you. I wasnât mad, I was just-.â He paused for a moment, inhaling deeply âI just didnât like seeing you like that.â Your fingers tightened around the blanket at his admission, but you nodded as well to acknowledge you heard him. You let the moment breathe, still feeling the lingering guilt of how angry he had been just a few minutes prior, but what sat in your chest was how bothered he was by your pain because it wasnât about the outburst itself, it was about what it meant. The way he snapped was his way of trying to convey that your well-being was important to him, and even the thought of that made something in you seize up. So much for keeping the partnership strictly mission-based I guess, you thought as you shifted on the mattress, only to be reminded of the searing pain coming from your legs.
âNow that weâre done arguingâŚDo you mind taking the glass out of my knees now?â You asked, cringing at the sharp burning sensation that radiated throughout your kneecaps with each slight movement you made to try and get yourself in a better position to attempt to ease the pain, to no avail.
âOh Jesus, yeah of course. Sorry.â He replied sheepishly as if he had forgotten about what he had said at the beginning of the argument. Bucky worked with a quiet urgency, collecting the first aid kit, and a basin to put the shards of glass in, stopping for a moment at the table to pause the music on his phone before picking up your stabilizer from where he had been sitting. When he had turned back to you he could see the look of surprise on your face, as your eyes trailed over it, seeing the familiar blue glow that indicated it was fixed.
âI figured it wouldnât hurt to attempt to work on it while you were passed out,â He explained, looking down at the curved titanium while he made his way over to the bed, âDonât really know if I actually fixed the thing, but itâs not glowing red or anything so Iâm assuming I made a bit of progress.â He shrugged, as he sat down in front of you, settling the first aid kit down before handing the stabilizer over to you, feeling your fingers brush against his gently, watching you take it from him with a small smile on your face. You looked at it closely, your fingertips buzzing in anticipation, the cool weight of the titanium almost bringing you a wave of relief. You felt around for the familiar latch at the back of the stabilizer, clicking it open with a gentle hiss, your eyes glancing up to meet Buckyâs blue irises.
âItâs looking promising.â You joked, seeing his lips turn up slightly, before tilting your head back to expose your neck, brushing your hair aside. Carefully you aligned the stabilizer against your throat, settling it into place as the soft hum of the hydraulics pulled the device together, allowing it to lock around your neck. You rested your hands against the edges of it, waiting for a moment, allowing it to calibrate. Bucky watched you, trying to see if there was any sign that he had messed up somehow, thinking about the wires he cut and shifted when he began his attempt on fixing the thing, hoping to god it wasnât something important. A beat of silence passed over the both of you quickly, being quenched with a soft exhale.
âSeems like you actually did it.â You informed, turning your head from side to side to ensure everything was properly secured.
âYou sound surprised,â Bucky replied, feigning offence.
âHmm. Tony made this thing idiot-proof, so Iâm a bit taken aback by yourâŚSkills.â His eyebrows raised at you, shaking his head as he flipped open the first aid kit.
âItâs not like I have an arm thatâs state-of-the-art technology or something like that.â He shot back, sarcasm dripping from every word he spoke while he collected a few alcohol pads, tweezers, and gauze from the inside of the container. âNowâŚReady to play Operation?â He asked jokingly.
âJust what I need, Bucky Barnes playing surgeon.â You replied, adjusting your position so that your knees were bent between the both of you, pulling the blanket off carefully just in case any of the glass had accidentally caught on any of the fibres. When the damage came into your line of sight you could practically feel your stomach twist and turn into knots. The blood was dry and streaked in the crevices of your knees. Tiny shards of glass embedded themselves like fractured stars in the thin flesh that lined the bone, glinting under the soft light. Some pieces were deep, surrounded by angry red welts where your body had begun trying to reject them. Others sat more superficially, barely hanging on but all of it looked raw, swollen, and painful. You could feel yourself get lightheaded just by looking at it.
âI think Iâm gonna be sick.â You announced, throwing yourself down onto the mattress, the back of your head hitting the pillow, âI canât look at it.â
âYouâre telling me out of all the things youâve seen, this is the thing that does you in?â He commented, âNow thatâs disappointing.â You groaned, putting your arm over your face.
âItâs different when itâs my blood.â He let out a small laugh, the bed shifting under his weight as he adjusted, positioning his vibranium hand between the bend of your left knee to keep it still, the coolness causing you to tense up.
âAlright, Iâll go slow. Ready?â You nodded, keeping your face covered, attempting to hide the blush that began to rise on your cheeks, feeling him pull out one of the smaller pieces of glass, starting easy. He dropped it into the steel bowl, dabbing the blood off your skin with gauze, as he continued his feat, getting close enough that his breath fanned over the wound. You shut your eyes tightly, another sharp jolt of pain shooting up your leg, your other hand digging into the comforter beneath you.
âGod damn it Bucky.â You hissed, your knee jerking involuntarily, his grip keeping you steady.
âAlmost got it, just hold still.â His voice was soft, focused on grabbing onto the tip of the glass that he had been pulling out seconds before, the slow meticulous movements bringing you to the brink of screaming
âOkay. I need you to talk or something. Distract me before I start destroying the place please.â
âWhat do you want to talk about?â Bucky asked with hesitation, another piece of glass clanging against the steel bowl.
âTell me something you likedâŚBefore everything. Something you miss maybe.â He hummed, going for another shard of glass.
âMusicâŚAnd dancing too I guess.â You took your arm away from your face, pushing yourself up onto your elbows, looking at him with your eyebrows raised.
âYou? Dancing?â For a brief moment, he glanced up at you with a smirk plastered on his lips.
âWhat? You donât believe me?â You shrugged.
âI just canât picture Bucky Barnes on the dance floor, were you like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?â His brow furrowed for a moment, confused at what you were referring to.
âSaturday Night what?â You let out a breathy laugh.
âYouâve never seen that movie?â He gave you a flat look, returning his eyes to your knees, taking out another piece of glass and wiping the droplets of blood that slid down your skin.
âIâve been frozen in ice, brainwashed, and playing assassin for half a century. You think Iâve had time to watch movies?â You leaned back a little, resting your weight on your elbows.
âFair point, but itâs a classic Bucky. The disco music, the bell bottoms, the gyrating.â You reminisced, watching as his lips pressed tightly together.
âPretty sure I was not gyrating on the dancefloor.â He commented back, another piece of glass joining the pile as he moved to your other knee, his hand leaving your skin briefly before mirroring the same position with the other leg.
âSo what kind of dancing did you do then?â A smirk appeared on his lips, his eyes crinkling, showing off what little wrinkles he had.
âBallroom, Swing if I was feeling fancy.â You grinned.
âVery nice.â You could see his cheeks dusting red slightly, as he dropped another piece of glass into the bowl, wiping your knee.
âWhat can I sayâŚI had the moves.â
âHad?â He glanced up at you, his teeth showing slightly now, a genuine smile appearing on his face, something you had not seen before from him.
âCareful, it sounds like you want to find out.â The way his voice dropped made a satisfying shiver shoot up your spine, but you kept your expression neutral, lifting an eyebrow at him.
âOh yeah? You offering to take me out dancing Bucky?â He shrugged, shifting in his spot to get a bit more comfortable, latching onto another piece of glass.
âMaybe.â Glancing up to see your reaction, noticing that you were blushing as well. You shook your head at him.
âPlease, if we ever went out dancing youâd throw me around like a ragdoll and Iâd end up concussed.â He laughed deeply, returning his eyes to your knees.
âNah...Youâd be good, I can tell.â You squinted at him.
âOh yeah? And how exactly did you come to that conclusion?â Bucky smirked, his hand shifting to adjust your leg, the tweezers grabbing on to another glass shard.
âYou move well. Quick on your feet, and you can keep up with me.â You scoffed at his comment, your body tensing as the pain from your knee was slowly building up again.
âYou make it sound like fighting and dancing are the same thing.â He hummed, distracted from the conversation for a brief moment. You glanced at him, noticing that he was holding his breath as he pulled the large shard of glass out, bringing the cracked and bloodied piece up to your sight, a satisfied smile on his face.
âWell, theyâre not all that different. Both are about timing. About knowing your partner.â Bucky replied, his voice low and smooth. Another clang echoed throughout the room while he grabbed a fresh gauze pad to press down onto the weeping wound. You swallowed, shifting against the mattress, trying to ignore the warmth that crept up your back.
âSo what, youâre saying weâd make a good dancing pair?â You could feel the way his fingers flexed at the question, his cold vibranium thumb running over the bottom of your knee. He didnât look up right away, still applying pressure on the wound that continued to slowly bleed.
âI think we already do.â He murmured, lifting his gaze to meet yours. You could see the way his eyes scanned over yours, the way that his jaw clenched just for a split second. An unwavering heat crept up the back of your neck, flushing your chest and the surrounding area of skin red.
âYeah? What makes you so sure?â His eyes never left yours as he adjusted his grip again, letting his fingers freely brush against your skin, as if he didnât realize what he was doing.
âI know how you move, and you never have problems following instructions when youâre given them.â Your fingers twitched against the sheets, the words sinking into you. He wasnât wrong, not one bit, but it was the way he said it, and the way his breath hit your skin, the sensations were crowding you at that point that it was starting to become increasingly difficult to keep yourself cool.
âSounds a bit cocky if youâd ask me.â He dropped the tweezers into the bowl, throwing the saturated gauze on top of it, as he wet his bottom lip with his tongue.
âNot cocky, just observant, that's all.â His voice was low, sultry, you didnât know if he meant for it to come out so soft, but it still made you feel motion sickness. Before you could even stop to think about what you were going to do, you reached down, your fingers holding the back of his bicep, gripping onto the cool vibranium through the sleeve of his shirt as you pulled yourself up.
The second you entered his space, his eyes were locked onto yours, wide and searching, like he was surprised you decided to pull that little move. You could feel the warmth radiating off of him now, and you were hyper-aware of how his chest rose and fell now that you were closer to him, the shallowness of his breaths coming to your attention almost immediately.
âWhat are you doing?â He asked, looking over at your hand sliding up, gliding over the curve of his shoulder. His hand remained behind your knee, as the other one gripped the mattress beside him, unsure if he should reach out to bring you closer. You tilted your head forward, your lips dangerously close to his, as the both of you exchanged breaths.
âGetting comfortable.â You whispered, watching his jaw tense at your words, his fingers twitching against your skin. He tilted his head back slightly, letting out a sigh.
âYou donât want this, Y/N.â Your brows furrowed at the hesitancy in his voice, but before you could protest he continued, âItâs been a long timeâŚSince IâveâŚâ He paused, looking back at you, âI just donât want to disappoint you.â You could hear the vulnerability in his voice mixing with embarrassment, as he avoided your eyes still. Slowly, you slid your hands down the front of his shirt, feeling his chest tense up beneath your touch as your fingers gripped the fabric gently.
âYou wonât disappoint me Bucky,â His hands flexed at your words like he was battling with himself as he returned his eyes to yours, allowing the both of you to really look at each other. You had never noticed the way his eyes glistened in the light or the way his pupils ate away at the blueness of his irises.
You shifted onto your knees, being mindful of the ache, but ignoring it in favour of attempting to bring yourself closer to him, as you slid your fingers upward, tracing the outline of his collarbone. Carefully, you moved, sliding yourself into his lap, feeling his body stiffen beneath you, his hands coming up to hold your waist out of instinct. Your fingers curled around the chain of his dog tags, feeling the cool metal in your hands, as you leaned in, letting your lips ghost over the rough stubble along his jaw.
âItâs been a long time for me too.â You admitted softly, your breath warm against his skin, his fingers gripping you just a little tighter, feeling your lips press a gentle kiss on his neck. His breath left him slowly, his vibranium hand coming up to cup the side of your face.
âYeah?â His voice filled with uncertainty, as you pulled back to look down at him, nodding, threading your fingers into his damp hair.
âI also donât know what Iâm doing half the time either,â You replied, tilting yourself forward, bringing your lips close to his, âBut I know I want thisâŚAnd I know I want you.â You admitted, closing the space between the both of you, your lips meeting his. Bucky let out a sound that was a cross between a sharp inhale and a groan, as his arm slid around your waist wrapping around you so your body was flush against his chest. His thumb traced along your cheek as he leaned up, trying to basically crawl into you.
The kiss was tentative at first, slow and meticulous, like he was memorizing the feeling of your lips against his, the way you pulled on his hair, and the small moans that escaped into the air as he kept you pressed against his chest. A soft hum vibrated from your throat when his lips parted just enough to deepen the kiss, your tongue meeting his in a battle for dominance.
Bucky was the first one to break the kiss, overwhelmed by all the sensations that were hitting him at the same time. He rested his forehead against yours, catching his breath, as his arm tightened around you, trying to steady himself. You opened your eyes, your hands coming up to hold his face, pulling back to look at him, seeing the softness in his stare, like he was in a daze.
âYou sure itâs been a while since youâve done this?â He let out a laugh, shaking his head.
âYeah, Iâm positive.â He replied, his eyes scanning over your swollen lips, âItâs muscle memory I guess.â You smirked at him, your thumbs dragging over the stubble on his face.
âI think you just know what youâre doing.â You whispered, your compliment causing him to blush.
âYou flatter meâŚâ Before you could respond, Bucky shifted, his arm tightening around your waist as he moved forward. In one fluid motion, he eased you down onto the mattress, his body following closely behind, blanketing you in his warmth, anticipation thrumming beneath your skin, your legs wrapping around his hips. He braced his weight against his vibranium hand, as his eyes traced over every detail of your face. Your fingers curled over the neckline of his shirt, pulling him closer to you so that he could capture your lips with his again, his body pressing against yours in a way that sent a pool of heat into your lower stomach. He savoured every moment, feeling the way your legs tightened around him, pulling him even closer to you, the heat of your body surrounding him like a shield of sorts. It was intoxicating to the point where it made his head spin. You arched into him instinctively, dragging your hands down to the hem of his shirt, slipping them beneath the covering so that your fingers could dance across the muscles of his stomach, feeling them twitch against your touch. He let out a stuttered breath as he broke the kiss, leaning back so that he could pull his shirt off for you, throwing it to the side in one smooth motion.
The dim lighting of the room casted shadows over the hard planes of his chest, accentuating every defined ridge of muscle he had. Your eyes drifted to where flesh met metal, to the seam where his vibranium arm connected to his shoulder. The skin around it was littered with thick scarred tissue, jagged and slightly raised. You couldnât imagine how many procedures he had been put through to get him to this point, but all you could think about was the pain he mustâve gone through. You continued to look him over, his dog tags catching your eyes for a moment, your hand reaching up to grab it gently.
âYouâre staring,â He commented, his hand wrapping around your wrist, feeling your pulse bounding against his fingertips.
âItâs the first time Iâm seeing you like thisâŚGive me a little grace.â You joked, running your thumb over his name on the dog tag. He allowed you to take your time with him, knowing that he would probably do something similar when the roles became reversed.
âI didnât take you for the sentimental type.â He murmured, his voice quieter than before, reserved for such an intimate moment.
âIâm just trying to memorize all of it.â You replied, letting your hand fan out over his chest, the steady rhythm of his heart pulsing against your palm. His lips parted for a moment, almost in disbelief that you liked what you were seeing, as he brought your hand up to his mouth, gently kissing the back of it, keeping his eyes on yours. His vibranium fingers raced absentminded circles along the skin of your exposed hip, his thumb brushing along the hem of your tank top, hesitating to make his next move. You sat up slightly, giving him the go-ahead to pull the shirt off of you, feeling the cool metal graze against the sensitive flesh of your ribs, as you raised your arms above your head allowing him to remove the top with ease, watching him throw it off the side of the bed. His gaze dropped to your body, roaming over every expanse of skin he could see, as you laid back down on the mattress, putting yourself under the spotlight this time.
Just like Bucky, you had your own set of war wounds, only they were caused by your own hands. The marks on your skin were not ordinary bruises, Bucky had never seen anything like them before, and the level of concern behind his eyes made you speak up.
âTheyâre Lichtenberg figuresâŚPeople get them when theyâre struck by lightning, and wellâŚYou can connect the dots as to why I have them of course.â They branched across your torso in breathtaking patterns, thin fractals of darkened reds stretching from the center of your chest and curling down your ribs, sprawling out like frozen lightning, captured in the canvas of your body. Some of the marks ran deeper, more defined, where the energy had burned through your skin with more force. Others faded into the natural warmth of your body, barely there but still visible under the dim light of the room. His eyes roamed over them, committing the patterns to memory, as he reached out with his right hand, hesitating for a moment.
âDo they hurt?â You looked up at him, shaking your head.
âNo. Thereâs so much scarred tissue at this point that the area is pretty much numb.â You explained, feeling his calloused fingers trailing over the patterns on your torso while his vibranium hand remained on your hip, holding you still. He hummed, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss against your collarbone.
âTheyâre beautiful.â He whispered, his breath hitting the shell of your ear, your heart immediately swelling at his words, feeling his lips pecking along your shoulder, as his hand continued to trace along the etched fractals, moving up towards your breasts. He pulled back for a moment, breathing against the little wet marks he had left on your skin, cooling them down before returning to his exploration, kissing over the swell of your breast, his lips parting against the sensitive flesh, sucking just enough to leave faint red marks behind. You tensed beneath his touch, arching your back towards him, his fingers digging into your hip, pushing you back down against the mattress, his lips turning up into a smile against your skin.
âStay still.â His voice vibrated against you, feeling his fingers trailing down the side of your rib cage, his lips gently making their descent down your sternum, his teeth grazing down the pathway, sending a shiver up your spine, your fingers finding their way to his hair, carding them through the damp strands.
âYouâre making this hard Bucky.â He glanced up at you, his blue eyes darkened with lust.
âThatâs the whole point.â He replied, continuing to trail down your stomach, his stubble scraping down your skin, before kissing right above your navel, âI want to take my time with you.â He whispered, bringing his right hand down to hold onto your thigh against him, the rough callouses causing goosebumps to rise beneath his touch. You tugged on his hair, feeling him move even lower so his lips were right just above the waistband of your shorts, his head tilting up to look at you. You held his gaze, your chest rising and falling with each uneven breath you took. A smirk played on his lips, and without breaking eye contact, he pressed a slow, deliberate kiss just above the fabric, his stubble scraping against your skin in a way that sent a delicious ache spreading through you.
âCan I take these off?â He asked gently, his fingers playing lightly with the waistband, teasing you when his thumb dipped below it for a fraction of a second before returning to its spot.
âYesâŚPlease.â Your voice sounded so desperate, choked up with tension, feeling him hook his fingers around the fabric before slowly pulling them down your hips, then down your thighs, only moving away from you to remove the shorts from your body completely, letting it join the increasing pile of clothes that began to form on the floor. His jaw clenched at the sight of you in front of him, your body laid out beneath his, completely bare except for your underwear. His hands moved slowly, as he grasped the back of your thighs, his thumbs pressing gently into your skin. You reached for him, your fingers tracing up his forearms, craving for him to return to where he had been just moments ago, the anticipation winding tight in your stomach. He leaned back down towards you, bringing your legs up over his broad shoulders, pulling you closer to him as he settled between your thighs, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your knee, the warmth of his breath sending a shudder through you. His grip on your thighs was firm but careful, as his mouth moved up towards your underwear, his stubble scraping lightly against your skin, leaving a whisper of friction that only added to the tension that coiled deep in the core of your stomach. Your fingers tangled into his hair again, pulling gently, wordlessly begging him to continue. You could feel him smile against the skin of your inner thighs, enjoying how desperate you were becoming.
âBucky.â You whispered, your voice breaking with such need that it almost burned through your body. He looked up at you, his darkened eyes gazing into your soul, reading you like you were an open book. His lips parted slightly as his right hand left the top of your thigh, skimming his fingers over the damped fabric of your underwear.
âSo impatient.â He murmured, trying to keep his voice from wavering, attempting to keep the dominance in his tone, even though it was becoming harder and harder with every shaky breath you took. His lips brushed over the fabric, breathing out against your arousal as your thighs tightened on his neck, a soft moan escaping your throat.
âBucky, pleaseâŚâ You begged, your fingers pulling on his hair, the teasing pushing you over the edge. A smirk ghosted across his lips at your pleas, and then with an agonizing slowness he hooked his fingers into the fabric of your underwear, dragging it gently to the side, baring you to him completely. His eyes flicked up to yours, his pupils blown out enough to where you were almost unable to see the ring of blue that surrounded it, and in that moment, you could see that he was as desperate as you were. Then finally, he pressed his mouth against you.
The first touch was barely there, a soft kiss placed deliberately beside where you needed him the most, to tease you, before his lips parted and his tongue dragged up your slit, not wanting to hinder himself any longer. Your head fell back against the pillow, a choked gasp escaping your lips at the sensation and warmth of his mouth wrapping around your clit, humming at the way your thighs flexed against his face, rubbing against his stubble. His tongue continued to circle against the bundle of nerves, his eyes burning into your skin, watching as you arched your back, grinding yourself on his mouth, wordlessly begging that you wanted more. His right hand slid up to your core, coating his fingers in your arousal before slipping two of them in with ease, looking at the way your mouth dropped open as he curled them inside you, finding a pace that matched the way his tongue worked against your clit.
Your fingers continued to tangle deeper into his hair, but before you could pull, his vibranium hand wrapped around one of your wrists, pulling it away gently, feeling him pin your arm down against the mattress beside you, sliding his fingers down to intertwine with yours. The contrast of the heat that was pooling in your stomach and the cold of his hand sent a shiver through you, heightening every moment, every touch, and every movement he made against you, unraveling you piece by piece.
Your heartbeat pounded in your ears, the pressure in your lower stomach growing unbearable, his increasing pace pushing you closer and closer to the edge. He could feel the way you clenched around his fingers, and how you trembled beneath him, rocking against his mouth.
âBucky-â His name left your lips in a strangled breath, your gaze returning to his, realizing that he had been watching you this entire time, enamoured by your body and the way it reacted to him. His grip on your hand tightened, grounding you to the moment, your legs clenching around his head again just as his tongue flattened against you and his fingers curled a little more inside you, picking up the pace. For a split second he took his mouth off you.
âLet go for me sweetheart.â He instructed, his voice laced with such need and devotion that you could feel your entire body tense up, feeling his mouth returning to your clit once again, his tongue working against you with such purpose that all the air in your lungs ceased to exist. Your thighs twitched against the sides of his head, his lips wrapping around your clit with a slow and deliberate pull, which caused the tension in your stomach to snap.
A sharp moan tore through you, as he pressed his face against you even more, allowing himself to feel the way you shuddered beneath him. The air crackled faintly, as static danced along your skin, noticing the way Buckyâs arm plates flickered a light blue for a brief moment. His grip on your hand tightened, and his movements didnât falter, allowing himself to slow down just enough to guide you through the aftershocks of your orgasm, until your body finally relaxed against the mattress, utterly spent.
Gently he pulled away from your soaked core, pressing a wet kiss to the inside of your thigh, before removing his glistening fingers from you and sitting up slightly. His lips were slick with your arousal, and the expression on his face was something between pride and awe, as he crawled back on top of you, caging your body in his warmth.
âYou were incredible.â He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, the sweet reminance of you being tasted on his tongue, âYou did so good.â He added, bringing his fingers to your mouth, watching as you sucked the rest of your arousal off of them, your tongue carefully flicking against them.
âChrist.â Was all he could manage to say, as he slowly pulled his fingers from your mouth, letting them drag down your swollen lower lip, watching the saliva glisten over the reddened skin where you had been biting. The hard outline of him pressed against your thigh as he shifted above you, bringing his mouth to yours again, wanting to savour every kiss you gave him. His dog tags grazed the middle of your chest, cooling your overheated skin which now had a faint film of sweat forming on it, as you let out a soft moan when he rolled his hips against your aching heat, pressing hard so you could feel him. Bucky pulled away from the kiss, almost with a disappointed look on his face, a moment of realization shining in his eyes.
âShitâŚY/N I donât have condoms.â He whispered, putting his forehead onto your collarbone, breathing heavily, trying to steady himself. You smirked at his despair, as you laced your fingers into his hair and tugged it so he could look at you.
âI have an implant, Bucky.â You informed, watching the relief wash over his face, a long sigh escaping his lips.
âThank god.â Was all he could say before sitting back onto his knees, moving quickly to rid you of your underwear and himself of his cargo pants and boxers. You couldnât help but giggle at his eagerness as he shifted his weight to take everything off all at once, and also just enough to knock the first aid kit and the metal bowl of glass right off the bed.
The sharp clang causes the both of you to freeze, as Buckyâs eyes flicker over to the mess before returning to you, waiting for your reaction, watching your hand come up to cover your mouth to stop a laugh from escaping it.
âReal smooth.â You teased, hearing him let out a breathless chuckle.
âNot my best moment.â He admitted with a crooked grin, rubbing the back of his neck, bringing his hand over to touch your thigh. You reached up to wrap your hand around his forearm, before pulling him towards you.
âI find it kind of endearing that youâre all nervous and flustered.â He let out a quiet laugh, as he settled between your legs once again.
âYou make it hard to keep my composure.â Your fingers skimmed up his arm, feeling his bicep twitching beneath your touch, while he adjusted himself against you, bringing his vibranium hand up to your throat to hold it gently, tilting your head up to meet his eyes before his mouth captured yours again in a hunger filled kiss, feeling your hips raising to meet his, in a silent plea. A low groan escaped him as his length grinded against your wet heat, attempting to hold himself back for just a few moments before he got lost in you. He pulls away from your lips again, leaning back so he can line himself up with you. Your eyes trail down to his cock, seeing that itâs already glistening with precum, the tip a light red, practically begging to be seated inside you. Heâs way above average, and the way he pumps himself in his hand almost makes you come right then and there. He could see the lust in your eyes, the way your mouth opened just a little at the sight in front of you.
âYou sure you can take me sweetheart? Youâre already shaking.â He pointed out, a teasing smile coming up on his wet lips.
âI need you BuckyâŚPleaseâŚâ The words fell from you in a whimper, as his vibranium hand slid from your throat to cup the side of your face.
âOkay, okay, I wonât tease you anymoreâŚRelax for me.â He whispered, as he aligned himself with your entrance, coating himself in your arousal. You could feel yourself clench around nothing in anticipation for him, feeling as he gently pushed into you, the delicious stretch was just enough to make you gasp, and tighten around him, your eyes closing to take all the sensations in at once. Bucky leaned onto you, his lips brushing against yours.
âLook at me,â He ordered softly, âI want to see those pretty eyes while Iâm inside you.â You moaned at his comment, bringing your half-lidded, pleasure hazed gaze up to meet his, as your jaw went slack, feeling him pushing deeper, inch by inch.
âThatâs it,â He praised, âYouâre taking me in so well, and youâre so fucking tightâŚAll for me.â He was breathless, continuing to move slowly, his pelvis finally meeting yours when he bottomed out. He gave you a gentle kiss, like he was rewarding you for listening to him, a soft moan escaping your throat. Your walls fluttered around him as he drew back a bit before thrusting forward, hitting a spot inside you that made your vision blur.
âOh my god BuckyâŚâ You whimpered, his hand coming up to hold just above your stabilizer, a smile coming up on his lips as he repeated the same motion, pulling the same reaction from you.
âThere you go,â He coaxed, âThatâs the spot, isnât it?â You could only nod, your nails digging into his shoulders, dragging them down his back.
âSay it, sweetheartâŚTell me how good it feels.â He whispers, his breath hitting your lips as he continues to move, pulling out just a little more, bringing his hips to yours again just a little harder, eliciting another gasp from throat.
âYou feel s-so good.â Your words caught on the sheer pleasure of the way he filled you, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back.
âThatâs my girlâŚYou were made for this werenât you?â He asked, grinning from ear to ear, savouring the way you writhed beneath him, reacting to his movements and words. He pressed another kiss to your lips, pulling his hand from your neck, and sliding it down between the both of you to press just above your pubic bone. The added pressure made every movement of his hips feel like explosions throughout your body.
âYou feel that hmm? How deep I am inside of you?â Your walls clenched around him, as your eyes closed again, another strangled moan escaping into the room, your nails dragging across his skin again.
âBucky, o-oh my god.â Was all you could manage to say, your legs locking around his waist, your abdomen tensing beneath his touch. He began to pick up the pace, the both of you exchanging breaths and gasps into each other's mouths, as he nipped at your bottom lip gently.
âYouâre so fucking perfect.â He praised, feeling your fingers curl into his hair, trying to ground yourself against the overwhelming heat of his body grinding into yours. His lips traveled along your jawline, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat, sucking the sensitive skin, putting a mark on a spot that would be visible to everyone, snapping his hips against yours, earning another cry from your lips.
âI love fucking hearing you.â He whispered, devouring every reaction you gave him, your walls clenching around him, throwing off his rhythm for a moment as he brought his face back up to yours. âYouâre so fucking close, arenât you?â He asked, watching you nod frantically, unable to focus on the task at forming words. He removed the pressure he was placing above your pubic bone, only to bring his fingers to your swollen clit, pressing against it. Your body arched against his, as he began to draw tight, slow circles around the bundle of nerves.
âCome for me Y/NâŚLet me feel it.â His voice cracked, his breath ragged. Before your brain could even register his words the pleasure ripped through you, as your body shook beneath his, your nails now digging into his flesh, causing him to gasp at the sharp sting. Your vision was blurred, and you couldâve sworn you felt a few tears fall out of the corners of your eyes as you clenched down harder on his cock, another static pulse igniting from you, wrapping around Buckyâs arm and fading out quickly. He kissed you again, consuming you completely, bringing his hand back up to your neck just to hold it, feeling your pulse beneath his fingertips, picking up the speed of his thrusts, the pace becoming rougher and more desperate. You grabbed onto his vibranium hand, gasping for air.
âIâm gonna fill you up so much that Iâm gonna be dripping out of you for days.â He growled, tightening his grip on your hand, as the burning tension in him finally snapped, the hand on your neck tightening for a brief moment, his body stiffening above you. He let out a long groan against your lips as he spilled into you, bucking his hips towards yours to push the warmth of him deeper inside, fulfilling his promise. The weight of him sank against you as his head dropped to the crook of your neck, kissing any portion of skin that he could reach.
A minute passed, maybe more, as the both of you laid there, catching your breath, while he softened inside you. He kept his hand at your neck, his thumb idly tracing over your pulse, while his vibranium fingers remained intertwined with yours, not wanting to pull away just yet. You tilted your head back against the pillow, as you let out a breathless laugh, breaking the silence that had settled between you. Bucky lifted his head slightly, eyebrows raised, his lips twitching at the corners.
âWhatâs funny?â He asked, as you turned your head to look at him, amusement dancing within your tired eyes.
âThat tone you were using was so fucking hot.â You could see he was amused by your admission.
âReally?â He asked, his smirk growing wider and wider.
âYeahâŚI mean I knew you could be confident, but that? Holy shit Bucky.â He laughed at the way you were rambling.
âI didnât know you liked being talked through it like that, I was just kind of filling the silence.â He responded, watching as your eyebrows raised.
âTHAT was filling the silence?!â He shrugged.
âJust got creative. It was really easy too, cause you looked so pretty under me.â He complimented, pressing a kiss against your lips, you hummed.
âWell consider me very appreciative of your sudden creativity.â You murmured.
âI guess Iâll have to add it to my sex repertoire for next time.â You raised your eyebrows at him.
âYou want there to be a next time?â He laughed at your shock, as his hand tightened around yours.
âOh Y/N, if you give me a few minutes to recover that next time will come really quickly.â He commented, earning a loud laugh from you.
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes smut#winter solider x reader#sebastian stan#marvel fanfiction#james buchanan barnes#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky smut#angst#angst with a happy ending#sebastian stan characters#james barnes x reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#Spotify
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hi could i rq. general konoha 11 + sand siblings nsfw hcs ! (aged up/boruto ver obv) <3
Also: nobody understands Uchihas better than I do and I donât even like most of em. /j Why are they all practically evil in fics? Iâm going crazy. Most of them are clearly softies when it comes to love. Am I right or am I right???
And sorry, you can tell who I have more ideas for and who I was drawing a blank on.
Oh and sorry yall for the gap in my writing. This one took a while. Iâve been working on it for a bit. And part of it got lost and deleted, so I rewrote it. A long with a couple other stories got deleted and I lost some motivation for a moment lol
Konoha 13 + Sand Siblings HCs
Naruto Uzumaki
Heâs energetic, and that 100% applies to in bed too.
Likely inexperienced, but eager. And a little nervous.
Talked big game beforehand, but even if you didnât know before, you definitely know it was all talk now.
That being said, heâs a quick learner, even if he complains about being confused at first.
I think heâd have like little to no knowledge though, being such a loner for a while, in all. Hope you have patience.
That being said, he is a bit of a pervert with what he does know.
Overall though, heâd set a fast pace, but the sex would still be intimate and soft.
Praise. Praise. Praise. Giving and receiving.
Sasuke Uchiha
No experience, but he knows the ins and outs.
He wasnât too concerned with sex or anything of that matter before, but when he returned to Konoha, he realized he had feelings for you. So he starts to think about it.
Heâs not a pervert like Kakashi or Naruto, and heâd never lose his cool over sexy jutsu, BUTTT heâs secretly horny as hell. Like low sex drive usually, but just being around you makes it sky rocket to abnormal levels.
Heâs very private about sex though, so usually only happens in your bedroom or⌠cough cough in a quiet forest with nobody around cough cough (if you know, you know)
Heâs got a breeding kink. Next question.
Uses a mix of degradation and praises.
Lots of demanding, but also lots of giving sooooâŚ
I truly believe Sasuke would be a softer partner than people make him out to be. Like did yall watch Boruto or not?? Heâs got awkward and sweet energy. Heâs TRYING. Heâs emotionally stunted yall.
More dominant and likes to be in control, but will fall apart in your arms anyways. Usually more of a soft dom than anything.
One of the most likely to be fairly kinky though. I think heâd slowly discover heâs into things as they occur or cross his mind.
Sakura Haruno
She knows a lot about the human body.
Might have experience, might not. I could see it either way.
I think your first time with her would happen after like a romantic dinner together. And it would be romantic and slow.
But⌠that depends on you, because sheâll mostly go with what you want. It makes her happy.
Sheâs okay with being degraded or praised, but she really only likes to praise you.
Low sex drive.
She likes any position she can see your face.
Sheâs a switch, depends on her partnerâs preference.
Sai Yamanaka
(Obviously not married here but just to have a last name to add)
He read a book about what to do.
Probably does something incredibly stupid at first, but that being said, heâs not an idiot, so not too bad.
Youâd probably have to correct him a little bit. Also, tell him to forget the book and just go with the feeling and follow your lead.
Youâd be in the lead at first. Probably go down on him first thing.
Heâs not small. (I mean did you hear the way he talked to Naruto? Heâs probably got something to work with if heâs talking so confidently LMFAO)
So youâd probably have to use your hand for the base while your mouth sucks on about half or so of his cock.
His hand tangles in your hair/rests on top, not pulling, but resting there.
He throws his head back, letting out soft sighs and small moans that escape his lips. Heâs not trying to be quiet, but heâs not loud either.
Although, he might have read girls donât like when guys make noise. Who knows. Then you might have to tell him thatâs not true.
At first, sex is just discovering things with him. Youâre both exploring how everything feels.
But, after a few times, he starts taking the lead and initiating.
He has a low sex drive though, so he wonât initiate too often.
Itâs also hard to get him to realize what youâre asking for if you drop hints. He saw your underwear when you bent over⌠okay. He might even comment on how you should be more careful since he knows you donât like to expose yourself so much.
You just deadpan and tell him it was supposed to turn him on.
âOh.â And now heâs unbuckling his pants and asking you to come sit on his lap. :)
Shikamaru Nara
Low sex drive, usually at least, because now heâs consumed by the desire to be rode by you. Like he dreams about it.
He calls you troublesome to himself when he wakes up hard in the morning occasionally.
He lowkey loves to just lay between your legs or have you sit on his face so he can eat you out (pussy or ass, donât matter)
Lazy morning sex. He loves it.
Heâs dominant, but he can be rather lazy most the time. That being said, he will fuck you how you want him to if you ask.
Degrading but heâs not super mean about it at all. More like soft grunts with degrading terms, but the rest of it comes out more like soft sighs and groans of pleasure and praise.
Choji Akimichi
The sweetest. He takes his time with you every time.
Body worship. More so giving than receiving, but heâll be a blushing mess if you give back the same energy.
Praise. Lots of it.
Heâd be the type to kiss down your body, from your lips to your neck to your chest all the way down til he gets between your legs.
He canât bring himself to be rough or harsh with you in anyway. No degradation, rough sex, or anything.
Likes to be able to see your face during sex.
Heâd like to try food play.
Ino Yamanaka
Pillow princess unless asked to do otherwise.
She loves to be praised and worshipped, but also likes things rougher.
Sheâs a bit of a brat about things. Constantly going against what you say for fun.
She does it on purpose so youâll go rougher on her, she likes it.
She also likes when things are slow and romantic though.
And sheâd love it if you planned like a candlelit dinner and put a trail of rose petals on like Valentineâs Day, or even just cuz.
Shino Aburame
Heâs in charge. Heâs on top. Whatever. He doesnât like to not have control.
He also just wants to please you, and often heâs not too worried about himself.
Might get a little self conscious if you skip over touching him or giving him head more than once. Like if itâs been a few times now and you havenât bothered⌠did he do something?
He doesnât need it, but he just⌠you know how he is.
He doesnât make much noise.
But I do believe that right before he cums, he whimpers. He canât help it, and donât bring it up afterwards. Heâll be so embarrassed and not want to do it for a while because heâs scared heâll do it again.
If he gets like that, just tell him you loved it. Then go down on him and tell him you wanna make him do it again.
Heâs good with his hands, I just know it.
He can go rough and be stern and demanding, but other than that, heâs rather vanilla.
Heâs a big fan of missionary so he can see your face.
And he doesnât want to do anything unless itâs in your own home or absolute private, like an inn.
Kiba Inuzuka
Hickeys.
He loves giving them.
You will have like 20. From your jaw to your thighs, heâs marked. Plenty of them are visible and hard to hide because theyâre dark.
He doesnât exactly take his time. No, those hickeys are from the entire act. He starts leaving them during foreplay, then when heâs pounding into you, he quiets himself down by latching onto your skin.
When he eats you out, he leaves bite marks and hickeys around your thighs.
He calls it âmarking his territoryâ then has to explain himself because no he doesnât mean youâre a territory, youâre not a place or an object⌠he just⌠youâre his partner!
Heâs rough.
Likes doggystyle most, but then he gets upset that he canât see your face and next time he sets up a mirror.
Quickies. He canât wait. Heâll whine if you tell him NO he canât fuck you under the blanket, because YES people will notice the movement.
You might want to settle and pull him into a bathroom and let him fuck you over the counter, but he wonât force or beg you to the point of you giving in or anything. Heâll wait if you really mean no.
Heâs got a high sex drive
Very likely to be pretty kinky. Heâd be willing to tie you up, spank you, degrade you, etc.
He wonât do pet play. Thinks that shit is weird. So donât think that because heâs a dog user, heâs gonna act dog like or have you act dog like. In fact, heâs more likely to hate it as a dog user.
I think heâd find any roleplay to be useless though. You could convince him if you wanted, but heâll complain.
Hinata Hyuga
Much more intimate and gentle sex is what she wants
Sheâs not a pillow princess. She literally fantasizes about pleasing her partner.
Like probably day dreams, gets lost in her own thoughts, then is a blushing mess when she realizes that somebody is talking to her and sheâs imagining what your moans would sound like when sheâs between your legs, ESPECIALLY if the person talking to her is you.
She likes to do it in private, but she canât deny that she imagines doing it where you both currently are. Not that she would.
Secretly has a high sex drive
Long refractory period though. She needs breaks between rounds.
Neji Hyuga
Took him a while to get vulnerable enough to take off his clothes if heâs being honest
Also I think Hyugaâs are very reserved and conservative until marriage, but he has such a tough time following that.
He really wants to jump your bones. And itâs almost like the fact he canât because of his clanâs reserved and traditional nature just makes it WAYYYY more tempting.
Youâre literally irresistible to him
Secretly, heâs just a little bit of a pervert. (Like Rock Leeâs Ninja Pals says he is)
I think he would have wet dreams from sexual frustration. Like the longer he holds back from having you under him, the worse it gets. Like a disease with no treatment.
I think your first time with him would be sudden, and it would be his first time ever.
Youâd look WAYYYYY to good, and this time he canât bring himself to ignore the boner he gets. No heâs gotta see if youâll indulge him.
He may stop and pull away, get his act together if you remind him of his clanâs pride, and how he was so bent on following it before.
Maybe the first time, but by the next time he tries to give in, there is no try. He is cancelling any plans yâall had and tearing the outfit that made your body look so irresistible off.
He doesnât have a super high sex drive, but he has such a hard time resisting just laying you down when you look so damn good. You are the reason heâs horny.
He loves when you ride him, and he WILL whimper. He tries not to, but Neji canât be silent with the way you are squeezing him. The way you do it is so perfect, every bounce is drawing a noise out of him until heâs literally just letting out a stream of loud whimpers as he cums.
I think his cum would actually taste good. Next question.
Rock Lee
PervertedâŚ
He feels bad for it when he catches himself, but Oop itâs too late⌠heâs got a boner
Boners are obvious in that green spandexâŚ
He wouldnât agree with doing it in public or semi-public though, but if you noticed his behavior or boner and pulled him off into the bathroom, ignoring his âthis is indecent!â Protests because when you look at him before diving in to give him head, his eyes are literally pleading and he shuts up, pushing his hips towards your face.
He canât be quiet so youâll have stuff something in his mouth or cover it with your hand.
He secretly wants your chest in his face. Heâs a chest guy. Boobs, pecks, whatever. He loves everything chest.
But he also loves ass. Small or big. Wants to grab a handful anyways.
Total switch
Because listen, he loves to pin your hips down and force you to accept the pleasure youâre trying to deny yourself.
Loves to pound his hips against yours until youâre a mess, but he also loves to do as you say.
He loves to be broken down until heâs in pieces by your mouth, body, words, whatever.
He whimpers like constantly, especially when heâs submissive. He tries to shut up when heâs dirty talking as heâs in charge, but he lets GO otherwise.
Tenten
Iâm sorry her portion of this will be⌠lacking. I donât know enough to say much. I love her, but Iâve never really thought about this at all.
I think sheâd be a switch, but prefers to be in charge.
I think sheâs depend greatly on you though.
If you donât want to bottom/sub, thatâs good.
Or vise versa.
She likes to take her time when sheâs in control.
Sheâs fairly willing to try new things if you want to.
She enjoys going down on you most of all.
Gaara of the Sand
Heâs very private about everything. He believes that his private life and his kazekage life should stay relatively separate. However, it is known that you are his partner. Thatâs no secret.
Heâs not super into PDA, so itâs no surprise that he refuses to do anything risky or public in anyway.
He will not do it in the kazekageâs office. He has too much respect for it, but he also doesnât want to get caught anyways.
Heâs very intimate during. Slow and sensual for sure.
I can see him being into bondage, but like you get tied up, not him. But⌠depends. And might take some encouragement.
Refuses to hurt or degrade you for any reason. He only does praise. He could not bring himself to call you names or anything. Or to draw blood from you or hit you, etc. he doesnât see why those things should be brought into the bedroom for âfun.â
He doesnât think theyâre fun.
He knew like nothing about sex before you. I actually think heâd have no idea how to initiate at first so you definitely initiated it.
I think heâd be the type you have to teach what to do a bit, but he gets the hang of it quickly. Then next time, heâs got every spot memorized.
Awkward. Like the first couple times were awkward, but romantic and cute.
Kankuro of the Sand
One word: kinky.
He likes to degrade you with a shit eating grin on his face. His degradation feels like a compliment most of the time though. Like he calls you a slut and it feels like heâs calling you a prince/princess. Itâs confusing.
Heâs so good at dirty talk. Heâll have you writhing in your spot, desperate for him and heâs not even touched you yet.
Heâs got incredible patience when it comes to you. He takes his time breaking you down into a mess for him.
His face paint would 10 billion percent be smeared across your thighs and chest. Your neck is purple from bites AND his face paint to the point you canât tell which is which.
Only when you wash off the face paint do you realize he left way too many dark hickeys thatâll probably take at least a week to fade away.
Confront him about this and heâll just laugh.
Donât tempt him to leave more, because he will.
He forces you to maintain eye contact when he goes down on you. If you look away for more than like 3 seconds, he give you a little tap as a warning, but twice and he stops.
Orgasm denial for sure. He would be the type to make up an excuse as to why he pulled away. He tells you all sorts of excuses. âYou werenât moaning enough.â âYou moved your hips too much. Stay still.â And of course, âyou looked away.â
He can make you cum hard almost every single time. You see stars.
The most fun part for him isnât dicking you down, itâs the breaking you apart and putting you back together again.
Temari of the Sand
Dominant. Dommy mommy for sure.
Even when she decides to âsubâ or âbottom,â sheâs not doing a good job at it. Sheâs still telling you what to do, where to move, etc.
Sheâll pull your hair, slap you, etc. as long as you are okay with it and want her to.
Loves to boss you around, telling you what she wants. Demanding you to please her.
âGet on your kneesâ
Head pusher for sure, but you two have a like physical que to let each other know when itâs enough.
All that being said, sometimes she really really just wants sweet, slow sex. Intimate nights filled with nothing but love.
She likes to keep all of this private though. No public or risky stuff.
However, she does like to do it beyond just in bed.
Would be the type to start kissing all over your neck, unbuttoning your shirt while youâre trying to cook breakfast.
You might want to turn the stove off.
#naruto#naruto shippuden#naruto x reader#naruto shippuden x reader#naruto neji#naruto fic#naruto smut#naruto hcs#neji hyuuga x reader#Neji x reader#Gaara x reader#Kankuro x reader#Sasuke x reader#kiba x reader#kiba inuzuka#tenten x reader#Sakura x reader#Temari x reader#Temari#rock lee x reader#rock lee#Hinata x reader#Shikamaru x reader#Choji x reader#Shikamaru Nara x reader#Choji Akimichi x reader#shino aburame x reader#Shino x reader#Kankuro#Shino aburame
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Öš â
á × Ý Ý CINNAMON GIRL ŰŞ Öš ᎍ
DOCTOR PHOSPHORUS x FEMALE READER
��� đđ ⏠this is part two of ULTRAVIOLENCE and should be read as such ! also i love lana for him , itâs perfect . i just watched the new episode and you can tell near the end lol . i tried to explore a bit more of his needing of love as well as the readers ! also i had to get creative with the smut due to him not having a dick so sorry </3
⨠đđ ⏠monster ! reader , religious / catholic trauma trauma and guilt . depictions of body horror and violence . blood and burning , mentions of cannibalism , imposter syndrome and disassociation . non graphic depictions of death and injuries . smut : pining , pet names ( puppy + princess ) , sub - ish phosphorus , clothed rubbing and fingering ( ? m receiving ) , male moans ( yay ! )
3 . 2 k words ++ not beta read
A hero.
It was a strange feeling, being praised the way you were. It wasnât like anyone outside the bubble of the castle cared, but those inside hailed you and the other creatures as saints. Perhaps it would feel a lot nicer had the others been able to look at you with something more than hesitancy.
âGood work.â The Bride had said, Flag following with a similar sentiment, but you could tell how empty the words were behind gazes that wouldnât meet yours. Even among animals like Weasel and robotic parts strewn around the grounds like GI, despite the Brideâs nature and Ninaâs gills you are nothing more than a monster.
God, and Phosphorus. Things had been little short of awkward with him since the night you had shared. Despite his request that you not talk about it to avoid situations like silently standing beside each other in a lineup and trying to forget about his handprint being burned into your thigh, they still happened. You cannot blame him, though, for the way he avoids you as much as he possibly can.
Flag had wanted monsters for this mission, but it seemed you were too much. It isnât like you can remember; practically pleading with Nina to tell you what had happened had left you with the bare minimum, but it was something. The gunshots had no doubt set you off and witnessing GI being torn apart hadnât helped. In your absence had been a monster, eyes glazed over and rolled back into your skull as downright demonic claws and wings sprouted from your flesh, body contorted to allow the growing of the appendages. Bullets fired at you had been expelled from your skin like they were being spat out and the wounds simply grew back as if nothing had happened.
âThey had to pull you off a bodyâŚâ She informed you as gently as she could, though an air of fear surrounded her, as if her words would set you off again. They might, day by day it felt like you were losing yourself to this monster. More and more of you disappearing, you didnât know what would make you volatile anymore. âWell, Phosphorus was the one to volunteer.â
Her words did little to ease the guilt that bubbled in your chest. The thought was nice, that he had been the one to take initiative and guide you back to your normal state; though part of you couldnât help but assume that was because he didnât want anyone else to observe the branding he had given you and connect the dots of your night together. You canât blame him for anything it seems, not how he avoids you and not how he tries to cover up the things youâve done together. Youâre unworthy of love, arenât you? Thatâs what they had said when you were just a girl.
Bruised knees and bleeding palms, the sharp end of the rosaryâs cross digging into your palms and making indents as if to replicate that of Christ himself. Youâre little more than the thieves that hung beside him on that day, representative of the one who laughed in his face and was hence discarded from the kingdom of God, never to see the pearly gates or beautiful lights. Judgement day would not be kind on you, you had heard the nuns and priest whisper from behind the monastery walls. What had you done to be cursed in such a way? Was simply being born enough to cast you from Godâs light? Itâs not like you had chosen that.
Youâre quiet, far too much so for the others to consider it normal, but no one says a thing. Perhaps theyâre too worried about setting you off, maybe they want to distance themselves. It seemed everyone grew a little closer from this mission, but you are just as alone as ever. The plane ride back is bumpy, Weasel curled up into a ball beside you. He was the only one who didnât seem to care what you were or who you could become. Somethings never change, like the way you card your fingers through the coarse fur that coats his body.
You can feel his gaze on you, the radiation that pools from his body is difficult to shut out. Daring to lift your eyes to meet his, you donât miss the way he quickly adverts his gaze as if he was ashamed of having been caught. God, you hated this. You could deal with the others avoiding you, you hadnât expected them to try and be your friend after this regardless, but him? Could you forget how sweet he had been to take care of you after you had slipped? No, you donât think so. Besides, those pretty whines and mewls that had spilled from his mouth still weighed heavy in your mind.
Arms crossed as the plane landed, back in handcuffs and escorted to the cell you had spent so long in. Your taste of freedom was over, done with. It was back to the slop they had the gall to call food and the endless sound of waves that now pissed you off more than it soothed you. Things seemed to be getting on your nerves more frequently, since he had brushed you aside and told you it would be better like this.
It doesnât feel better. How can he be right about your situation when his hand burning into your flesh had felt so good? You worry your bottom lip between your teeth as you sit on the thin mattress in the cell assigned to you. The lights had gone out for the night long ago, the freedom you had once felt in the large room of the Castle was now gone. Back to the same old routine, back to being captive. Back to the power dampener around your neck.
You want to lay down, to close your eyes and at least try to get some rest, but the same looping sound of crashing waves and the soft green glow from far down the hall only served to stress you out. How could he brush you aside like that, had it truly meant nothing to him? You were well aware of his tendencies, the psychopathic nature of him, but that night had felt; well, like something. Like he cared despite his apathy.
Maybe you were thinking too deeply into this, maybe it was nothing more than a simple fling to him. Maybe your touch starved mind had crafted this narrative that he truly loved you and was just hiding it. It had been far too long since anyone but your own hand managed to touch you like that, to slip past the layers of monstrous intent and simply find you. Even if it wasnât real, if he truly didnât care, at the very least you would have that to remember. And for now thats okay.
For now.
Because the next morning you are forced to see him, forced to have all the feelings from the last few days pile up in your gut and make the stupidly large power dampener you wore feel even more foolish. You sat at one of the tables, lazily picking at your plate of food when you were interrupted. A hand swiped your tray off the table, knocking the mushy pile of stuff they dared to call food to the floor.
âWhoops, were you eating that, dollface?â No, you werenât, but the asshole who picked a fight with you didnât know that. Another monster, another creature who was far too vile to be put onto the team. Why shouldnât you indulge just a bit?
Blood. Itâs all you can taste. It suffocates you as you lay in a pool of it. Trickling down your nose and coating your mouth. You cannot quite tell whose it is, yours or the beast laying dead beside you. Itâs nice, though, rich and far more delicious than the slop they feed you here. The electric shock had hurt, but not awfully so. You donât feel angry that youâve allowed the monster control over you once more, just bliss.
Ending up in the medical wing had not been on your itinerary, though. Head pressed back against the cold, sterilized pillow that was as thin as paper against the hard as a rock mattress. Youâd hardly call it nice, if the hums of medical machinery hadnât been soothing as white noise; you could almost get used to it. Your eyes flutter shut against the cold atmosphere, taking a deep breath to let the serene moment wash over you, its truly a nice break.
Till the doors open and youâre greeted with that familiar green glow basking over you for a moment before being harshly shoved into the bed besided you. You let out a soft sigh, sitting up and rubbing your eyes slightly. He wont look at you, clearly pissed off about something, and as the guards leave the room he shoots them the middle finger before finally catching your gaze.
âWhat are you looking at?â
âYou. Why are you in here?â You canât help it as the question slips through your lips before you can stop yourself. You shouldnât engage with him, itâll only serve to make you upset over the little predicament the two of you find yourselves in, but it comes out nonetheless.
âThe guy you killedâs dickweed friend decided to pick a fight in his honor. You know thatâll go on your sentence, right?â
âWhat does it matter? Iâm already in here for life.â
He simply hums in response as you card your fingers through your hair. You suddenly feel tired, as if being around him is draining. Putting up this act of nonchalonce about your feelings towards him is more taxing than you had originally expected. He weighs heavily on your mind, taking up valuable space that could be used for other mundane things in Belle Reave like finding new shapes in the texture of walls youâve stared at for years.
The room is quite now, far more than you like. The humming machinery now acts as a nuisance, a reminder of how hes doing everything but talking to you. While you canât blame him outloud, you did just kill someone over him, does he feel anything about that? Does he even know how your mind runs circles around the thought of him all day? God. You sound like a love-sick schoolgirl with her first crush. Whats next? Will you write little anonymous post-it notes for him?
Regardless, you canât stand the silence anymore, looking back over at him you tilt your head to the side to come across as non interested as possible. As if the question youâre about to ask him is one youâve just thought of and not one thats been on your mind since that night.
âWhen we-... God, this sounds stupid outloud but why did you not take off your pants? Do you not have anything⌠down there?â
The awkwardness is palpable in your tone and it fills the room. Mentally, you curse yourself for asking such a dumb question. If he had eyelids, heâd most certainly be blinking over and over out of sheer confusion.
âUh no. Its just the pelvis. Look at me, Iâm just a skeleton and have you ever seen a skeleton with a dick?â
âNo, I guess notâŚâ Theres a pause, eyes fluttering away from his awkwardly. You shouldnât have even brought it up and you really didnât want to listen to his sarcastic answers.
âDo you want to see?â
Again with the sarcasm, you roll your eyes slightly and look back over at him with a frown, about to retort before you realize he isnât joking. No, heâs looking right back at you, skeletal hands fiddling with the buckle of his pants. A sheepish blush coats your face as you worry your bottom lip between your teeth. Sure, you two had had a very intimate encounter before, but this was different and it made you second guess his seriousness in telling you the two of you should pretend that night never happened. Without another thought you nod, almost a little too quickly.
âYes. Please.â
âEager now, arenât ya pup?â
âPup? Whereâd that come from?â
âI mean, you looked like a starved dog with a piece of prime rib in its mouth when I pulled you off that guy back in Pokolistan.â
âDonât bring that up right now.â A huff falls from your lips as your blush darkens, shaking your head slightly to push the imagery out of your mind. Had you really acted so barbarish that he deemed it fit to call you such a name? And are you out of your mind for liking it in some way? He simply chuckles as his hands continue to play with the button of his prision pants before he finally simply pulls them down and cocks his head to the side at you.
âSee? Told ya.â
âOh. But- you can still feel as if it were there?â
âI guess. I wasnât just faking those noises to make you feel better.â
You can tell by his tone that had he had eyes he wouldâve winked at you. A grin that you canât see etched into the permanent smile of his skeletal face as you slip off the bed you were in, stepping over to him and gently running a hand over the orange fabric of his shirt as he lets out a soft, shuddering breath. For him, as well, it had been far too long since anyone looked at him the way you did.
After the death of wife and kid and being burned alive in his own machine meant for good, after taking over the Thorne crime ring and subsequently being taken down by Batman he has been looked at as nothing but a monster. Maybe, in a way, he is. The radiation addled his brain, the death of his family heavy on his consious. Had he been good before? He can remember a time where he tried to help, but was that out of kindness or need for recognition and praise?
Perhaps he doesnât deserve it, the way you look at him as if hes someone special, as if hes done you some favor. It makes some part of him feel sick, while the other part relishes in the feeling of your touch, even if it has to be over fabric. A soft sigh emitted from him as he grabbed your hips, careful not to touch your skin even if he had before, and pull you ontop of him while he laid back in the bed.
He relished in the blush that coated your features, hands moving up to gently graze over the power dampener you wear, he resists the urge to burn through the metal and instead matches your gaze, a hum.
âYou like this position, princess?â
âOh its princess now?â
âDonât avoid the question.â
Somehow he manages to get laughter out of you, coaxing it from your pretty lips and letting it fill the room. He almost feels stupid with the giddiness that fills his chest, tilting his head back against the headboard to get a good view of you. For every awful thing thats happened to him, hes almost glad they all did because they led him to you. He could deal with the worry of burning through everything if it meant youâd be by his side forever.
His sappy thoughts are cut off by the sudden feeling of pressure against where his cock had been. Your sleeves had been rolled up over your palms, providing a barrier that allows you to knead against his pelvis like some kind of cat. He canât help the way his hips thrust up slightly, back arching into your touch. Its euphoric, sweet, and heâs letting explotives fall from his mouth like theyâre a prayer to you. Like youâre some sort of God.
âOh, ffuck princess, just like that.â His head tilts back farther, soft huffs emitting from him as he tries not to dissolve into a moaning mess in your hold. Itâs been far too long, and even the night you shared couldnât compare. He feels like an idiot for telling you it would be better to ignore each other now.
You keep a steady pace, hands moving against his pelvis to create some kind of friction, relishing in the clear way he fights back the moans creeping up his throat. Its almost beautiful, like a symphony of choked sobs and wanton moans. You couldnât help but grin, humming softly as your eyes focused more on the exposed bones of his lower half.
âPhosphorus?â
âAlex. fuck - please call me Alex.â His words are a bit sudden but the way he practically pleads with you makes it difficult to think twice. His name, though, just knowing it feels intimate.
âAlex. Iâm gonna try something, okay?â
Its a warning that slides right past him, indecent moans filling the room as he simply nods feverishly, though begging with you that whatever youâre going to do you donât stop making him feel like this. Youâd be a fool to stop now, anyways, with the way the radiation on his body hightens like a solar flare its all the sign you need to tell hes close.
You almost hesitate as this is probably a bad idea but you donât give yourself time to dwell on the consequences of your actions as one hand stops kneading and instead moves the fabric of your shirt sleeve off, quickly pushing past the barrier of radiation and tracing your fingers over the inside of his pelvis.
It burns, pain bubbling up in your body and at the same time the reaction from his is almost like a man possessed. His moans gain volume at the feeling, urging you to push past the pain and continue to rub along the bone. He squirms and thrusts his hips up, arching his back yet shying away at the same time. Itâs too much for him, the wires of his brain getting all crossed between feeling so good and overstimulated at the same time. It doesnât take a genius to know that he was orgasming.
He falls back against the thin bed with a huff, panting to catch his breath. You sit up straighter on his lap, pulling your hand out and cradling it in your other one. It hurts, stinging as large burning wounds take up the majority of your hand. He sits up as well, apologies spilling from his mouth before your skin begins to heal as if nothing has happened.
You blink, knowing he probably would be as well before you simply rest your head on his chest. Theres an unspoken thing, now, an idea that perhaps the two of you donât have to be as careful as originally thought, especially if your body had a healing factor even with the power dampener on. A content hum emits from him at the thought, tilting his head to look down at your form thats nuzzled against him. No doubt the cameras have caught all this, but the thought doesnât seem to run through your mind so he wont worry you with it.
âIf thats what we could do with that collar of yours on, imagine what we could do with it off.â
âHmm does this mean no more ignoring me?â
âWho said I was ignoring you in the first place, princess?â
#dr phosphorus#doctor phosphorus#dr phosphorus x reader#dr phosphorus x you#alexander sartorius#alex sartorius#creature commandos dc#creature commandos#x reader#smut
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đđđđđ đđđđđđđđ
pairing. kinich x fem!reader
word count. 2.5k
genre/warnings. pixelprincess!au (princess!reader x knight!kinich), one bed trope, princess is nervous to sleep alone with a man (who isn't)
summary.
after a long journey, kinich and the princess finally turn in for the night at an unfamiliar inn. the only problem? there's only one bed.
author's note. i'm finishing this at like 5am so if there's any errors i'll look over it/fix it when i wake up LOL. for now, please scream and cry about knight!kinich with me. reblogs/interaction highly appreciated!!
đŠđ˘đąđđĽđŠđŤđ˘đ§đđđŹđŹ!đđŽ đŚđđŹđđđŤđĽđ˘đŹđ
Itâs too warm.
As a princess born and raised in the land of Pyro, youâre accustomed to heatâthrive in it, even. Itâs one of the reasons you dread trips like these so much. Foreign nations, even those with the mildest of temperatures, tend to feel a bit too chilly for your taste. Your father often jokes that you could withstand the heat of the Sacred Flame itself.
At the moment, though, you wouldnât mind cracking open a window or two, even in the dead of winter.
The journey here had been difficult enough, boring as it was. Kinich had threatened to leave you alone in the woods a few times if you kept poking at him, but it was all you could do to not fall asleep. Attending foreign dinners always resulted in long journeys like these, though you know how important it is to maintain close relations with allied countries.
A few bumps in the road made this trek especially long, howeverâa number of bandits and blocked off paths added an irritating amount of time to your travel, until you and Kinich decided to rest for the night before heading home tomorrow. It had been difficult to even find a placeâmost inns had been full by this time, but youâd been fortunate to find one with a single open room.
A single, open room containing a single, solitary bed.
That aside, itâs a nice enough room, really. The dark mahogany furniture is carved with intricate nature-like patterns, flowers and leaves that crawl up the legs of the chairs and the foot of the bed. The whole place smells pleasantly of teakwoodâa scent that, for better or worse, you tend to attribute to Kinich.
Your knight sits in front of the darkened fireplace, fiddling with a flint until it strikes with a small flame, then enkindles the rest of the wood. A flushing warmth instantly permeates the room. Usually, you would thank him for his effortsâhe knows how cold you getâbut now, you feel a thin sweat forming at your brow.
Kinich stands, brushing off his hands and admiring the firelight. The lighter strands of his hair glow in its radiance. âThat should last us for a bit.â
He tugs at the clasp of his cloak, pulling the garment off and tossing it onto the chair in the corner of the room. Itâs a thick fur with ornate green and gold trim; youâd given it to him as a gift during the Winter Festival a year ago. You let your eyes follow the motion, watching the dark cloth drape over the furnitureâsomehow, you feel too awkward to look at your companion right now. He glances at you, as if wondering what youâre doing just standing there, but doesnât comment on it.
âActually, Iâm a bit warm,â you say, thumbing at the edges of your sleeves. Kinich raises a brow, genuinely concerned.
â...Itâs wintertime,â he says, an obvious statement that seems to ask what the hell is wrong with you.
âYeah, and Iâm warm,â you retort, arms crossed. He looks at you, then looks at the fire, then looks at you again.
âAlright, but if you get cold later, donât come crying to me,â he says, kneeling down again. Then, under his breath, he mutters, âthough I have a feeling you will anyway.â
He toys with the kindling for a bit longer, until the raging flames die into smaller embers and the room cools down. As much as he gives you a hard time, he prioritizes your comfort as much as he possibly can.Â
With the temperature now taken care of, there is still one other source of discomfort in the room, you think, glancing back toward the bed. It looks temptingly comfortable, with thick sheets and fluffy pillows, but you canât fathom sleeping in it at the moment.Â
âYou realize that we canât sleep here, right?â you say, staring down at your feet.
The dark-haired knight is busy rummaging through his rucksack, only half paying attention to what youâre saying.
âI donât see why not. The bed is big enough.â
Heâs right; itâs a king-size, and the two of you would have no problem fitting. Still, the thought of sleeping in a bed with him makes your face warm in a way that canât be blamed on the fire.
â...Thereâs only one,â you manage.
Kinich looks up at you, deadpan. âAn astute observation. Maybe youâll be able to count to three by next year.â
âYou littleââ
The nervousness turns to irritation at his nonchalanceâhonestly, the thought of sharing a bed with a man you arenât married to seems a bit inappropriate. And though you wonât admit it, youâre a bit offended that he doesnât seem even slightly nervous to sleep with you. Kinich isnât a nervous person by nature, thatâs true; it takes quite a bit to get him to show any sort of strong emotion. But a small part of you is disappointed that he doesnât seem to care about the situation at all.
âYou realize itâs just us, right?â you say, urging him toward the root of the issue. Even just stating that fact makes an anxious lump form in your throat.
Kinich considers your words for a moment, pausing his ministrations, before meeting your gaze directly.
âIâm not going to do anything to you,â he says, raising a brow.Â
The implication makes your face heat up, and you find it almost worse that he had addressed the elephant in the room.
âItâs not that!â you argue hastily. Kinich seems unbothered by your protests, fiddling with the intricate straps of his armor and the laces of his boots. He works about removing them in a fashion thatâs so robotic that youâre sure he mustâve done this millions of times.Â
âWhat is it then?â he retorts, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye. âDo you snore?â
âI do notââ
âSleep talk?â
âNo, itâs justââ
âSleepwalk?â
âNo! Butââ
âGreat,â Kinich decides, clapping his hands together as if to end the discussion. Rising to his feet, he gestures to the bed, even going so far as to pull the blankets back invitingly. âThen sleep.â
Itâs hard for you to win against him, especially at times like theseâtruth be told, you actually are quite tired. With a huff, you begrudgingly climb into bed, nearly hanging off the edge with the ample space you leave.
Kinich doesnât join you yet; heâs still fixing his clothes and tidying his other belongings. He takes good care of his things, youâve noticed, almost neat to a fault. Thereâs a strict routine he follows during the night; before bed, he always takes special care to maintain his weapon.
You watch as he oils and sharpens his blade, brow furrowed in concentration. Heâs always been very particular about the thing, as if it was an extension of himself, as long as you've known him. His movements are notably precise and intricate, and overwhelmingly gentle. Lost in watching him, you just about jump out of your skin when his eyes suddenly flicker to you.Â
âYou know, most people rest with their eyes closed,â he hums, amused at having caught you in the act.
âYouâre annoying,â you mumble, sinking deeper into the pillows to hide your embarrassment.
He shakes his head. âAnd youâre supposed to be sleeping. So I guess no oneâs happy.â
You pull the blanket up until it brushes your chin. You donât need it; your skin feels like itâs on fire, but somehow it feels too vulnerable to be uncovered right now.Â
âYouâre telling me you donât feel weird about this? At all?â
He sets the sword aside and finally removes the last of his armor, simply left in his training tunic and loose pants. The shirt is tighter than you remember, you think briefly. You force yourself to look away.
âShould I?â he asks, brushing off his clothes. âAre you going to do something to me?â
The corner of his lip twitches, and you nearly roll your eyesâhe amuses himself way too much.
âNo!â
âThen weâll make a deal. I wonât do anything to you if you donât do anything to me. Then, weâll both peacefully sleep so that I donât have to deal with your crankiness in the morning.â
Irritatingly, heâs right about that too. The two of you will have to head out early if you want to make it home for your lessons, as well as Kinichâs other guard duties. And, truthfully, you donât tend to be a morning personâitâs all Kinich can do to even wake you up on time.
You huff, shutting your eyes. âFine.â
âOh?â You can hear the mirth in his voice, and it only makes your irritation grow. âSo you were planning on doing somethinââ
âI wasnât!â
Kinich doesnât say anything more, likely sensing that youâre on the precipice of genuine frustrationâhe always knows your exact limits, even when you donât say so.Â
For a few minutes, you really do try to sleep. But your heart is still pounding, and as much as you try to ignore it, it threatens to burst out of your chest. You reason that you would feel this way no matter who you were sharing a bed withâitâs just not a feeling that youâre used to. Itâs certainly not because itâs Kinich.
You imagine him sleeping beside you, and your fists tighten until your nails form crescent-shaped imprints in your palms.
Definitely not because itâs Kinich.
Your stomach turns as you listen to your companion move around the room, organizing his things. Everything about him is so calm and quiet, including his footstepsâtheyâre barely a whisper across the floor. The anticipation nearly swallows you whole, and you wait for something to happenâthe blankets to pull back, or even a dip in the mattress.
For several long, torturous minutes, nothing happens at all. In fact, you canât even hear Kinich anymore, not even a single breath.
Did he leave the room?Â
Gathering your courage, you silently will yourself to open your eyes, afraid of what youâll see. It takes you a bit, too absorbed in the awkwardness, and three silent mental countdowns later, your eyes finally snap open. Instantly, you discover two things:
Kinich is not in bed with you.
Kinich is nowhere near you at all.
Instead, the knight is sitting across the room, back against the door, head leaned back and both eyes shut. His greatsword lays across his lap, fingers already curled around the gripâheâs always ready, as usual.Â
âWhat the hell?â
You donât mean for it to come out so loud or so aggressive, but your hand is too late to clamp over your mouth.
Kinich cracks one eye open, fixing you with a lazy stare.
âI thought you said you donât sleep talk,â he murmurs, voice thick with exhaustion.
âI donâtâforget it, what are you doing over there?â
He sighs, pulling a knee to his chest and resting his chin on top. He looks much softer like this, in training clothes and lacking his headbandâthe curtain of his hair parts a bit as he leans over, and you catch a glimpse of the scar there. Itâs thin and silver, barely peeking from his forehead.
âUnless I was mistaken, you seemed uncomfortable with the prospect of sharing a bed with me. I may not have been raised a prince, but even I wouldnât force something like that on a lady.â
Your teeth sink into your lip. The explanation makes you feel stupid and guilty at the same time. Stupid, because youâre really not sure what youâre even afraid of if Kinich climbs into bed with you. Guilty, because youâd been so argumentative with him, even when he was trying to respect your wishes.
Thereâs three beats of silence.
âI changed my mind,â you manage to squeak out.
âYou donât have to,â he says, tracing the blade of his sword. An expected answer. âIâm fine sleeping here, really.â
And you know he really would beâheâs certainly slept in worse places. But something about him sleeping there while you warm up under thick blankets leaves a rotten taste in your mouth.
âWell, Iâm cold now,â you say, shifting under the covers, âso can you come sleep?â
He looks unconvinced by your plea, head tilted. âWerenât you the one who said it was too warm?â
You pout in reply. âI changed my miââ
ââchanged your mind, yeah, yeah, I get it.â
Kinich rises to his feet, slow and steady. He seems more tired than he lets on, likely the result of the events from earlierâhe had been the one to deal with the bandits, after all. You merely watch as he strides toward you.
âJust remember, youâre the one who offered,â he warns, crossing to the other side of the bed. âSo donât kick me in your sleep.â
You donât say anything at all, firmly fixated on staring at the wallâyou donât think you could stand to look at him right now. When the sheets get pulled back, you suck in a breath.
To your embarrassment, something warm draws up from your quick-beating heart as Kinich lies down behind you. You chalk it up to natural human reactionâyouâve never shared a bed with someone like this, after all. Heâs gentle as he lays down, the mattress barely reacting to his movement. You squeeze your eyes shut as he adjusts, shifting the blankets and pillows, hoping he wonât sense your overwhelming nervousness.
âThis okay?â
You chance a look in his direction. His eyes are half-lidded, heavy with sleep, but they seem to pierce right through you. Heâs being very particular about the distance between youâclose enough that you can feel a bit of his warmth, but far enough that none of your limbs are touching.
This is fine, you think to yourself, drawing in a long, slow breath. This is totally fine.
You nod meekly, and Kinich sighs, shuffling into a more comfortable position as you turn away.
âGood,â he murmurs, warm breath pooling at the back of your neck. It makes you shiver, somehow both relaxed and on-edge, even as he curls slightly closer to you. âGo to sleep then, Princess.â
Heâll be awake for a while, you know. He never goes to sleep before you doâeven once you do, itâll probably be another half an hour before he follows suit. The thought leaves you hyper-aware of his every breath.
So, for the next fifteen minutes, you lie awake, hopelessly thinking of the man laying next to you. And, for the next fifteen minutes, he lies awake too. Your mind grows foggy, begging for rest, but you still feel something tugging at your chest. You wonder if Kinich feels the same way.
âKinich?â you finally whisper.
Thereâs a pause, like heâs deciding whether to reply seriously or to scold you for not sleeping. His voice comes out hoarse, a deep rumble from his chest.
âYes, Princess?â
A yawn crawls out of your throat.
â...are you warm enough tooâŚ?â
Your voice trails off as you finally succumb to the clutches of sleep. Kinich listens as your breathing turns to an even rhythm, calm and serene. For once, heâs glad that youâre not looking at himâif you did, you would see the way his skin is flushed a deep red, from his ears to his neck.
âYeah,â he murmurs, letting his eyes flutter shut. âI am.â
#genshin impact x reader#kinich x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact#kinich#kinich x you#pixelprincess!au#adeptus ink
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Text
Love Me, Please
Fandom: Hazbin Hotel
Pairings: Alastor/Lucifer/Adam/Husk/Angel/Vox/Valentino/Tom Trench/Saint Peter
Type: Scenarios/Comfort
C/TW: Swearing, blood, reader written with fem parts in mind (bc this bout periods, duh)
In which you miss your boyfriend/cling to your boyfriend and are being emotional about it. Basicallyâperiod emotions.
This is more for me bc itâs that time of the month and I desperately want some comfort lol | also Angelâs I left up to either be platonic or romantic
Alastor
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¤đ ࣪ â He was at yet another unremarkable overlord meeting when he felt something pulling on him. Back at the hotel, you laid on your bed wrapped in a cocoon of sorts, eyes tiredly watching your shadow pulling on one of Alastorâs shadows-which he left to keep an eye on you. Alastorâs grin turned to one of amusementâoh how needy you are when itâs that time of the month for you. The meeting finally came to a close and instead of making his way back to the hotel with a lovely stroll, he disappears in his shadows. Not before bidding a friendly farewell with his dear friend, Rosie. He materializes in the center of your room with a shit eating grin as he twirls his microphone around.
âI was hardly apart from you for more than an hour, my dear.â
Lucifer
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¤đ ࣪ â Lucifer had errands he couldnât postpone today and so he made you promise to text him when you miss him and heâll make his way right back in a jiffy! The bedroom door only closed behind him when he got a text from you. An âI miss youâ along with a sad face emoticon. He burst the door open, tears welling up in his eyes, as he crawled back into bed with you to hold you close. You honestly thought he was more emotional than you at the moment.
âMy poor ducky! Iâm sowwy!â
Adam
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¤đ ࣪ â Adam has been around for ages so I like to think he knows a bit about menstruation. On top of that, he has an army of baddies he likes spending time with-usually training but that's still time spent with them regardless. However he's definitely still rough around the edges since usually with his girls, he uses that to egg them on into being tougher fighters either physically or emotionally. If you're a person who's quick to be a grump or a crying mess then uhhh...just know he doesn't mean to be a dick all the time. He tries though, despite how annoying and tiresome it is. Especially since you make him feel oh so special with how you seem to demand his attention and his attention only. Right now you lay on his chest, looking on at the items set on the coffee table with a glint of amusement.
"Babe-you said pads with wings! I got that! I even made sure the chicken wings came with the good sauce."
Husk
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¤đ ࣪ â Husk is very vigilant so he's quickly able to come to the conclusion that you're on your period before even you realize it. It was just after he finished closing up the bar and returned to your room for a late nights rest when he smelt it. He might technically be an old man, but he's a respectful one and has been around for quite some time. He knows that small. Despite knowing you might be embarrassed to find out that he can smell it, he figured you'd be more grateful that he woke you up so you can deal with it before you wake up feeling all gross and annoyed in the morning. Plus it was worth it to almost immediately get a hug from you after being apart for a few extra hours than he liked.
"Come on. Don't wanna ruin your new pajama's now, do you baby doll?
Angel Dust
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¤đ ࣪ â This man was out on a much needed night out with his long time bestie, Cherri Bomb. You of course coming as his plus one that his bestie always welcomed like the supportive girly she is. He couldn't quite enjoy himself as much this time around though as he sat at in a corner booth with you hunched over your drink. You're hand gripping one of his hands as if you're afraid he's gonna leave. Despite how awkward he felt trying to comfort you, he did his best and allowed himself to be as sympathetic as much as he could.
"Toot's-if you wanna leave it's okay! You know I'll stick with ya! No need to make ya headache worse than it already is!"
Vox
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¤đ ࣪ â Vox still holds certain belief's and mindsets he had from his time in the 1950's. Part of that meaning him being 'grossed out' by your period and beliefs in woman faking or over exaggerating their monthly disturbances. He learned to keep his opinions to himself though, due to previous encounters with Velvette, and found it easier to just well, cater to your needs. They were easy enough for the most part. Food and beverage cravings? He's got ya covered. Cramps and aches? You're in luck because this man is basically one large heating pad. Which quickly became a downside for him because then you wanted him all the time. Didn't matter if he was working or not. He tried to put his foot down once but it only made you emotional so uhhh-
"Honey, I'll only be gone for one hour. As soon as the meeting ends, I'll lay my head on your stomach, okay?"
Valentino
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¤đ ࣪ â Valentino can only smirk to himself when he finds out it's now your time of the month. Which isn't hard to figure out since he woke up to you latched onto him like a koala this morning. A puff of red smoke invades your senses as a pair of arms wrap around your shoulders, a third hand coming to play with the top of your head. Valentino, spending years working with woman and people who endure this bloody cycle, knows a few...remedy's. He has his favourite solutions, obviously. Only if you're down. The last time he tried being more...persuasive with his advances to you during these times, it didn't go well-to put it lightly.
"Mi cariĂąo~A good fucking helps with this time of the month, you kno-" ... "Or we could share some snacks. Kitty!"
Tom Trench
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¤đ ࣪ â For this man I pray you are not a bitch on your period. Poor guy already has to deal with his co-star Katie Killjoy everyday. Whatever you deal with on your period though, just know your man is there and keeps your needy ass close. Such as right now, as you sit in an oversized fuzzy hoodie on Tom's couch, watching him and Katie host the latest news live. You glance down at your phone with Tom's messages open. You want to text him but you knew it wouldn't reach him anyways-they had to keep their devices on silent while they hosted. As soon as they were finished with their shift of the day however, Tom rushed to his dressing room to find you staring at the door with open arms.
"The interns told me you were waiting for me."
Saint Peter
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¤đ ࣪ â This man would never admit it out loud, and if he did he would word it very carefully, but he loves it when its your time of the month. I mean he feels bad for you obviously; dealing with an inconvenience once a month even in your afterlife does not sound like any sort of blessing, but he's clingy and affectionate himself. And you clinging to him just as much? Oh it's like he's died and went to Heaven-again! Currently he lays on the couch with you in his arms, you both engulfing each other in a snuggly cuddle. He periodically checks the time-as much as he loves this he's still got a job to do. He voices this but quickly finds himself soothing you.
"I'm only going to work, sweetheart! P-please don't cry!"
This was supposed to be reader missing them but some of them became not exactly that and Iâm sorry lol
Iâve had this in my drafts for a month, felt about right to finally post it. Iâm also ashamed to admit, it took me way too long trynna figure out what to write for Tomâs dialogue. I love him but if I donât know him as well as I thought đ
#hazbin hotel#x reader#vox#hazbin hotel vox x reader#vox x reader#hazbin hotel vox#saint peter#hazbin hotel x reader#st peter#hazbin hotel saint peter#husk#husk x reader#hazbin hotel husk#angel dust#angel dust x reader#hazbin hotel angel dust#alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor x reader#lucifer x reader#hazbin hotel lucifer#lucifer morningstar x reader#lucifer magne x reader#valentino x reader#hazbin hotel valentino#tom trench x reader#hazbin hotel tome trench#tom trench#adam x reader#hazbin hotel adam
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