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#even though I'm happy to rant all of this to myself
callalillywrites · 2 days
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Surprising His Omega
I've been surrounding myself with so many wonderful alphas in one of my all-time favorite verses. It made me a little sad that I couldn't have an Alpha!Steve in that verse even though I adore my Beta!Steve.
So, I decided to make a new verse just for Alpha!Steve (Nomad look). What better way to debut him than with the lovely challenge of the Horny Hoes Hootenanny by the amazing @yenzys-lucky-charm and @sweater-daddiesdumbdork. I'll admit this got away from me a bit, but I do hope you enjoy.
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Relationship: Alpha!Steve Rogers x Omega!Reader
Prompts Used
🍁 A: "Oh, come on, grump. It will be fun, I promise” / B: "What do I get if it's not?" / A: " What do you want?" (small tweaks)
🍁 A/B/O
🍁 partner plans surprise event/night
🍁 autumn Getaway
Extra Wheel Prompt: A Quickie
Word Count: ~1850 + Bonus at end (355 words; based on this post)
Summary: You've been feeling pressure for too long, and your alpha is determined to transform your grumpiness back into the sunshine you typically are. So, he decides to surprise you with a little autumn getaway.
Warnings: implied smut/allusions of it, grumpy reader, sweet and doting Steve Rogers, some spanking, some teasing, mostly fluff though, let me know if I missed anything
A/N: I wrote this story in a fit of inspiration. It’s proofread but all mistakes are my own. Please be kind as this is the closest I've gotten to writing smut in such a long time, and I'm not sure how I feel about it.
I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.
*****
It’s been a long month.
Between the heatwave that descended on your city and the trials and tribulations heaped on you at work, you’d hit your limit. Your usual sunshine demeanor has taken one too many hits until all you want to do is grump and grumble. Maybe hide away until life decided to be kinder to you.
But that wasn’t possible.
Your alpha would never allow you to wallow. That wasn’t his style.
Sure, he’d let you rant and vent to your heart’s content when you needed it, but he never let you stay low for too long. He needed and loved your sunshine too much to see it dimmed or diminished due to life.
No, your Steve always came up with a plan to bring your bright smile back on your face. He liked that bounce in your step and the cute wiggles you did whenever you were truly happy.
So, it shouldn’t have been much of a surprise when he leaned in the doorway of your shared apartment’s living room. His arms crossed over his broad chest while he regarded you for a moment before saying, “Get up, sweetheart. We’re going out.”
You glanced at the smile on his face and burrowed further into the blanket covering you.
“No thanks.”
“Oh, come on, my little grump.” He pushed off the wall and dropped next to you. His hands made quick work of removing the blanket from you and tossing it across the room. He ignored your glare as he pulled you into his lap and pressed a kiss to your temple.
You couldn’t help grumbling, “I’m not a grump.”
That earned you an eye roll and a huffed laugh.
“I could smell your grumpiness from the hallway, sweetheart. So, get up. I have a little surprise for you. I think you’ll really like it. At the very least, it’ll be fun. I promise.”
You did like his surprises.
Yet, you resisted, which really wasn’t like you. That told you more than anything that you needed whatever your adoring alpha had planned for you.
It didn’t stop you from asking, “What do I get if it’s not?”
“Hmm,” Steve pressed another kiss to your nose this time as he considered you. A chuckle slipped out when you wrinkled your nose because of his beard.
You had to fight not to squirm when he rubbed his beard down your cheek to your jaw, little kisses and nips tickling your skin. It grew worse when his lips and beard found your mating gland. On his way, he made sure you saw the playful twinkle in his gaze.
His teeth nibbled along his old marks. Shivers danced along every nerve and had you unable to sit still in his lap. No doubt by design with the way he kept doing it.
When you made to get away, he tightened his hold on you but finally relented.
You gave him your best reproachful look as you crankily mumbled, “You never answered my question.”
“I don’t need to because I know you’re going to love it.”
Your look turned withering at his teasing assuredness.
As much as you wanted to be mad at him for messing with your perfectly acceptable plans to sulk, you couldn’t. He was a good alpha who always did his best to make sure you never lacked for anything, especially his love and attention.
After another moment passed in quiet, Steve relented again. “Okay, okay, beautiful. What would you want?”
Well, you hadn’t expected him to actually answer your question with one of his own. That wasn’t his style, so you had to make sure your answer would be a good one. It needed to be something you actually wanted while also having the power to surprise your alpha. If you didn’t keep him on his toes, then what was the point?
While you continued to ponder how to answer, Steve kept himself distracted by moving one arm so he could trace patterns where your hoodie’s sleeve had hiked up. His lips resumed their earlier teasing with little nibbles and nuzzles against your neck until you couldn’t take it another moment.
Gripping handfuls of his hair, you tugged his head backward until he could no longer reach you with those sinful lips of his.
“If I don’t like whatever you have planned,” you tightened your hold in his hair to make sure you had his full attention while also pulling a groan from him, “then you owe me one of the best quickies wherever you’re taking me. Don’t care where you do it or how, but I want you to rock my world in the shortest amount of time possible.”
His eyes darkened with promise at your words, but you refused to give into that look.
You arched a brow at him. “Do we have a deal, Alpha?”
The way you emphasized his designation worked the way you hoped it would. Another groan escaped him, louder this time while his lustful eyes closed.
“That’s a dirty trick, and you know it,” he growled, his voice low and almost menacing in ways that had you shifting your position on his leg. His hands moved to your hips and held you still. It wasn’t like you couldn’t feel the evidence of your effect on him against your thigh.
If you felt a bit more daring, you might’ve teased Steve some more.
When he did open his eyes again, his lustful gaze met yours.
“Yes, ‘mega. We have a deal.”
He held you another moment before finally setting you on your feet and smacking you on the ass.
“Now, love, go and get dressed in something warm. You’re going to need it for the drive. I’ll handle everything else.”
You moved toward the bedroom but turned back. “Wait, how far are we going?”
“Uh-uh.” Steve shook a finger at her. “Not going to ruin my surprise, sweetheart. Now, go. It’d be nice to get there before it gets too late.”
The sun had gone down not long ago, but it went down earlier during these late Autumn days.
Within thirty minutes, you had changed into the warmest clothing you had within your summer wardrobe. It hadn’t been much which reminded you to dig out your winter clothes as soon as you could. The nights dictated warmer pajamas though the days still held a touch of warmth when the sun shone down on a cloudless, windless day.
Trading your cami and shorts for a longer sleeved shirt and some form-fitting jeans, you picked up the hoodie you temporarily removed and wiggled back into it.
Emerging from the bathroom, you spotted your overnight luggage sitting on the bed. Your brows rose as you took in the items Steve had chosen for you while including brand-new toiletries that he must’ve picked up on his way home.
You couldn’t help wondering how long he’d been planning this surprise.
The amount of clothing wasn’t much, which spoke of a shorter surprise, yet that didn’t mean much where your alpha was concerned. He’d once treated you to a week-long trip where he’d not only bought you new clothes for the week but almost everything else your heart desired. Steve loved to spoil you with the money he made, and you’re happy to return the favor in your own special way.
“Bout ready, sweetheart?”
You nodded. “Just need to grab my boots from the closet.”
“Already packed in the car. Came back to grab you and your bag.”
True to his word, he strode into the room, zipped up the zipper, and lifted the bag off the bed. While he had only one arm available, that didn’t stop him from swooping low and lifting you over his shoulder. As the world tilted, you could still make out the chuckle that left him at your shriek, wholly unprepared for his stunt.
To pay him back, you reached down and smacked his ass. Once for the one he’d given you earlier and another for not warning you before turning you upside down.
“Save it for our destination, love,” he murmured, another promise clear in his voice.
At the car, he carefully set you back on your feet before opening your door and helping you in. With you secured in the passenger seat, he closed your door, opened up the back door, and tossed your bag onto the seat in quick, efficient movements.
He surprised you when he got into the driver’s seat and reached behind your seat. In his hands, you found your favorite blanket and draped it across you, tucking you in. Though, he made sure to leave a space for his hand to creep under the cover and rest against your thigh after he started the engine.
The trip took you both out of the city and into the Catskills.
Soon enough, he pulled off the main road onto a private one until you came upon a modernly rustic cabin. Steps from the unpaved drive led to a wraparound porch and the large front door. The outside gave you a hint of the luxuries and open floor plan awaiting you inside. Small electric lanterns sat in the windows, giving the place an ethereal glow.
As Steve killed the engine, he turned toward you, asking, “So, sweetheart, do you like it? It's ours for the weekend.”
“No, I don't like it,” you shook your head but met his gaze while a smile emerged across your features, “I love it. And I love you.”
You leaned over the console and grabbed his cheeks in your hands. Tugging him close, you pressed kiss after kiss against his lips until you were both breathless.
Steve finally urged you out of the car and into the house, handing you the key to the front door. He would follow you after gathering your things from the car.
The earlier hints did little justice to what you found inside, wandering about the place. Your eyes couldn’t take it all in. You couldn’t help noticing how your surroundings were erasing the grumpiness that had weighed you down these past weeks.
When warm hands gripped your hips, you didn’t even startle. No, you melted into the solid chest at your back and let your alpha hold you for several precious moments.
“Happy?” he murmured in your ear.
You hummed your answer.
“That’s good, love,” he suddenly lifted you into his arms and carried you towards one of the doors down the hallway, “but I’m certain I can make you much happier in, say, five minutes. Is that too long for a good quickie?”
“But, I didn’t win our deal,” you couldn’t help spluttering though your thighs had already begun to rub together.
Steve merely grinned down at you. “Seems to me you did. I promised you’d like it. Love is not like, so I’ve got some making up to do. After your quickie is done, I’m going to make sure you’re properly fed, then I’m going to take my time tonight until you no longer remember your own name. How does that sound?”
“You can do whatever you want, Alpha. I’m at your command.”
Bonus:
Long after Steve had you forgetting your name, he had you spread across him. His hands ran up and down your back in soothing caresses while he pressed kisses to your hair every so often. Your heartbeat slowed to match his.
"What happened at work to have you at your grumpiest today, sweetheart?"
Heat suffused your cheeks as the memory came back. You did your best to hide your face in his neck. Maybe if you could distract him with a few strategic nuzzles and nips, then you could try to forget.
He wouldn't be distracted.
Lifting your face up by your chin, he kept his sharp, knowing gaze on you until you broke, whispering, "I had to write a company-wide memo. In the span of three paragraphs, I couldn't type hope to apparently save my life."
That got you an eyebrow lift.
Knowing your alpha he wouldn't let you get away with explaining further, so your cheeks heated more as you grumbled, "I kept typing hoe instead of hope. Happy now?"
Steve didn't say anything at first.
His brows rose though.
Then, his shoulders shook, and your head dropped back to hide your face in his neck. A groan slipped past your lips.
"Oh, sweetheart." His laughter escaped him then.
You grabbed a pillow and hit him with it, grousing, "It's not funny. Do you know what would've happened if my boss hadn't proofread it before it went out? I'm still embarrassed it happened at all."
Steve's hands came up in a surrendering gesture even as his laughter continued to escape in chuckles now and again.
"My poor 'mega, has your alpha not been taking good enough care of you?" His voice dropped to a husky timber that never failed to send a shiver of promise down your spine.
You glared at him though a smile did peek through. "My alpha takes very good care of me, but I wouldn't mind being reminded again how good that care is."
His scent thickened with his desire as he shifted until you were under him. His beard tickled your ear. "Your wish is my command, sweetheart."
*****
Main Masterlist
If you've read this far, you are absolutely my favorite. I'm opening up requests to write a few more stories for the Horny Hoes Hootenanny. Send me a few prompts from the masterlist, and I'll see what I can do.
*Now, I'm a fluff writer by nature and haven't yet ventured into the realm of smut writing. I'm working on getting there, so please bear that in mind if you do request something. Depending on the request, I might be persuaded to hint or imply such smut, but I can't guarantee I'll go in full detail.
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the-words-we-sung · 7 months
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While I (not so) patiently await season 3...
I think being on Tumblr is gonna be tough this week: I've blacklisted sp*ilers because I wanna watch the new season with my mind as free as possible (like I did for the first 2 seasons) but it means that right now my dash is 99% empty, just an endless list of blocked posts 😅 So 1. it's boring and 2. the temptation to check these hidden posts is growing bigger and bigger by the minute >< I'm not entirely sure I can make it spoiler-free 'til next Monday... But anyway, I was just thinking tonight how lucky we are to live at a time when shows like Young Royals are being made, and well-made, and successful, and so so loved by so many people.
Earlier tonight I got struck by a faint memory of a scene from an old TV show I watched when I was (way) younger and so I went on a deep search to find it. It was an old French TV show that I watched with my parents growing up and it made me laugh to check some bits of some episodes: but I ended up watching a scene where a (secondary) character comes out to his best friend (a main character on the show) and it was awful. The best friend reaction was terrible and homophobic, but treated as if it was totally normal and acceptable. And it made me so so sad, because I grew up with that, I grew up watching that. And it's probably not the only scene, the only show, the only movie with that kind of message that I've watched when I was young. I grew up in an environment, a family, that was quite close-minded. The mere concept of not being straight, not being cis, was not at all something that I was aware of at the time. We didn't talk about that with my parents or at school. And the little representations I got on TV (like this one) were pretty awful. It makes sense that it took me so long to really realize that I was neither straight nor cis, to be able to actually put words on what I had been feeling my whole life (and I'm not even done questioning it all). But yeah, growing up then meant not being exposed to the amazing representation that we have now. And I am so so so happy that young people now can have that!! That we can all have that! I am sometimes incredibly frustrated by the idea that my life would have been so so different if a show like Young Royals existed when I was growing up, when I was a teenager... Where would I be now? Who would I be now? Most of the time I'm just happy and grateful that I still managed to get where I am today, but yeah, the frustration over what feels like wasted years can rear its ugly head sometimes...
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Glee was my first "Young Royals", my first fandom, my first show with a good and real and strong LGBTQ+ representation. It's the show that will always have a special place in my heart because it made me see, made me realize things about myself. It's the show that pushed me head first into queer culture and told me to "look look here! Look at these people, look at this history!". The show that took me by the hand and told me I could be strong and brave and myself. And that I was not alone. Blaine and Kurt will always be the fictional characters who helped me the most, who made me start the process of becoming myself, who started healing me.
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At the time I didn't participate in the fandom life as I do now with Young Royals, because I was quite introverted and not comfortable talking to people, and still trying to figure things out about myself. But Young Royals changed that. This show arrived at the perfect time, when I felt ready for more, ready to take a step further in my healing process. Anyway, such a long rant just to say that Young Royals is incredible. It didn't change my life quite as radically as Glee did, but it is making it incredibly better! Part of it is of course due to the show itself, and Wilhelm, and Simon, and the cast (Omar!!!!). But it is also this fandom, and the people I've met and chatted with. You all have no idea how incredible you've been, how happy you've made me. How healing you've been for me. I'm realizing that I've written a whole novel in this post >< Which was not really my intention! I was mostly just thinking about how awesome our little show is, how lucky we are that we're gonna have 3 incredible seasons to watch and rewatch. And how happy I am to be part of our little fandom family 💜
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So I hope you're all enjoying the season 3 content that we've been getting today (even though I don't know what it is 😱) and I'm excited to be there with you all next week to be happy and sad and unhinged as usual about our dear dear show 💜💜
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sodaf · 2 years
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I've been getting so frustrated with my art lately because I can't seem to convey the kind of emotion that I want to. Feels like it doesn't suit my style at this point. I can make funny mini comics and maybe just sketch out characters doing mundane things but that's all it is, just sketches and doodles. I don't even like making finished pieces in color or inked but it permanently just looks like a "work in progress" if I don't
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gildeddlily · 3 months
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absolutely losing my mind because of these two!!!
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so.
are these two actually toxic, or are they just kids who don't know how to communicate? easy, they're just kids! (this was fast)
reading the manga will not make you understand that (or im just stupid), and this is why I'm thanking the author on.my.knees for the spin-off!
so.
after watching the anime I fled to ao3, of course. read some works about Rin and Isagi, managed to not spoil myself anything.
then i read the U20 arc. after reading every ryusae I could find (writing one myself rn, doing god's work) I finished to read the manga cause, yk, I wanted to know what would happen with my babies and then boom! Reo and Nagi!!!
I didn't particularly care about them at first: Nagi was strong ofc, but kind of boring? he's not my favourite archetype, and while I loved Reo I hated their fight and wanted nothing to do with them. key word(s), at first.
then, then! I randomly read some fics about them cause they'd started to grow on me, and boom, tons of fics about their breakup/makeup. stunning works, ofc, but I started to see so many "Reo's fault" "Nagi's fault" "toxic relationship" that I kind of started to get uncomfortable (sometimes people throw around the word toxic when it's nothing like that), so what's to do? read the spin off ofc.
that I did, and now not only I love them both with all of my heart, but I'm Reo's number one fan (and kinnie)!
and I developed a deep hatred for those "toxic x" theories and takes. SO. let me blabber and rant.
they love each other so much!!
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this is Nagi.
he thinks "damn, soccer/football is a pain, I hate sweating and running, but I don't hate Reo" even though most of the time he spends with Reo is spent playing soccer/football (I won't choose one english is so confusing- in italian it's literally called kick).
he doesn't feel forced to be Reo's friend, he likes it.
because Reo loves him, it's as simple as that.
he wants to be Nagi's friend "despite" Nagi's personality: this is something he currently says through the spin-off, which made me cry- Reo truly is the first person who ever accepted Nagi as someone who is lazy and unmotivated, who complains a lot, who doesn't put any effort in what he does, who doesn't offer much.
Or at least he thinks that he doesn't have anything special to offer, until Reo arrives.
he still has those terribly self-deprecating thoughts, but now he has something to offer, his talent.
(and after a period of happiness, their honeymoon phase one could call it, he starts to doubt the sincerity of Reo's care. from thinking "i'm not his slave, i'm his partner" he starts to doubt Reo's honesty: "maybe he only wanted to be my friend because of my talent, a talent he knows how to use"- since he still thinks that he's got nothing to offer! but we will talk about this later.)
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this is Reo!
he thinks "I wanted to be the one who could make you love soccer/football, the one able to light up something in you" but he also thinks "seeing you like that, even if it wasn't me who'd done that, made me happy".
he's so jealous he's almost funny, and isn't that the most teenager thing ever?
who wouldn't be jealous after working so hard to be special to someone, just for someone else to take the place you're working so hard for?
it's terrible, but still, it doesn't stop Reo from being happy that Nagi found something exciting.
something that made Nagi as happy as the combo Nagi-soccer/football made Reo happy.
the thing is, Nagi thinks he's Reo's friend because of his talent, which maybe it's true. maybe, hadn't Nagi been a genius, they wouldn't have become friends, but his talent was the sparkle that made him become Reo's treasure.
Reo is someone who has everything, who gets everything he wants, or as he says everything except what he really wants.
for that, he has to work.
so, what he wants is to play soccer/football, and to play it with Nagi.
(in order to be Nagi's friend, he needs to work hard, because he needs to be honest and gain Nagi's trust- this is how friendship works: even when it seems flawless and easy, there's so much work behind it, and knowing it is important. most of the times we only realise it once we lost that bond- for example, Nagi. Reo already knew it, and this is why he tried so hard to not leave Nagi's side)
at one point, the two things became linked to one another, and his dream turns into "winning with Nagi, my partner". Because Nagi is talented, is special, and Reo saw his talent, and how Nagi was unable to do the same. He wants to show Nagi that soccer/football is fun, that his talent isn't a pain, that he is special, because Nagi doesn't know it, and for Reo a star that doesn't see his its own light? is just preposterous.
He cares for Nagi and loves everything about him, even all the "bad" things, and he doesn't think that Nagi has to change, and this is what, for me, makes their break-up way more serious and relatable for a lot of people.
it triggers a "I'll change to be better" "for me you never had to change" "I need to change for myself" dynamic.
2. changing and longing is way more fun when you're doing it together!!!
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so they split up.
Nagi doesn't do it because he likes Isagi more, or because his style of play is more interesting, he does it because Isagi was stronger than Nagi and Reo: entering Blue Lock, Nagi had trust in Reo's ability to use his talent to win, he didn't even think about failing, and while Barou came close to making him feel like he could loose, Nagi overpowered him at the end- but then Isagi beats Nagi, and Reo with him.
Nagi understands that Reo's dream can't become reality if they aren't the strongest, and if being together doesn't work, maybe they should split up, part ways, become stronger and then join forces again, and win everything. win the world cup.
while his friendship with Isagi is sweet and I love them, for Nagi Isagi is like a cyclette.
he'll use the cyclette to get get fit and make his bf swoon over his legs, he won't stay with the cyclette once he doesn't need the training anymore. and even if he will, it will always be just the cyclette he uses to get fit "for" his bf.
(metaphor isn't metaphoring)
Reo doesn't know that.
he knows he's strong, but he knows that Isagi and Nagi are on a whole other level and he feels threatened. he fears that Nagi will choose Isagi instead of him, and he tries desperately to not loose Nagi.
Nagi is his dream. Slowly, day after day, Nagi became part of his dream, and now he's losing not only his best friend but the dream that made him free.
Reo says it himself- he knows that Nagi did the smartest thing by leaving, but he's young and scared and sees it as Nagi leaving him.
He feels abandoned, and he thinks that Nagi is abandoning his dream to go with the bigger fish, the apex predator, in order to become the best striker, by forgetting the promises they made at the start of Blue Lock, to stay together til the end.
Neither of them forgets the other.
Nagi leaves, and all he thinks about it "I need Reo to see this" "I can't wait to let him see how much I've improved", and he misses Reo, just as much as Reo misses him.
the only difference?
Reo is oblivious about Nagi's real feelings and thought process, and his thinking of Nagi turns into spiraling into depression and self-hatred.
so Nagi changes.
he starts to see the beauty in soccer/football, he finally sees what Reo had tried to make him see for months, and he's thrilled. he's having fun. he's grateful that Reo convinced him to not discard Blue Lock immediately. he's different.
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different why? because Isagi beat him? because Blue Lock happened?
he changed not when Isagi beat them, but the moment he became Reo's friend, and found a reason to do something.
because Reo was the first person to ever tell him that his laziness, boredom, his oh so troublesome antics were alright, that he was what he was, and he was enough not only for Reo, but for the whole world.
Reo accepted him even when he was set on being static, made him want to change, and now that he's changing he feels worthy of being loved so much.
"you saw something in me back then, you forced to me work hard, and now thanks to you I ('m on my way to) realised my own worth, now I found something exciting"
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he changes.
Reo sees him after what, a few days, and he's already improved so much.
and he thinks that he was Nagi's cage, his personal dead weight, that Nagi may have been his treasure but he wasn't Nagi's. that Nagi doesn't need him anymore. if Nagi doesn't need him, what will be of his dream?
(we could start a long-ass post ab mental health and recovering but I won't for my own sanity)
what's his worth then, since he got into Blue Lock just to stay with Nagi till the end- especially when he can't even be number two, with Isagi there- and Nagi won't be with him anymore?
he needs to change too.
3. destroying yourself in order to change (no fun)
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Reo says that he isn't brave enough to destroy himself like the others do.
Isagi, Barou, Nagi, Chigiri, they all destroy themselves in order to become stronger and change, evolve, but Reo can't. he's scared, he's confused, the whole arc is just him looking like that. then what does he do?
he lets Nagi destroy him. "If I can't do it, Nagi will" don't you understand you're doing exactly what you say you're unable to do? the fact that you're not the one pulling the trigger doesn't mean that you're not killing yourself
he pushes Nagi until he snaps and tells Reo to fuck off, that he's a pain, that he's weak and someone Nagi doesn't want anything to do with, because that's what Reo thinks.
He thinks Nagi doesn't want to be with him anymore, he's feeling guilty for what he thought (later later), he's insecure- and instead of being reasonable, he founds a way to confirm his "irrational" fears.
"I'm not being insecure since Nagi confirmed it"
he sabotages himself. that's the nail in the coffin.
instead of destroying himself with football/soccer, by learning from a lost match, he destroys himself with life, by putting on the line his relationship with the person he (not exaggerating) loves most in the world.
he's unable to distinguish life from soccer/football (and this will be the aspect that makes him so different from most of the other characters), because since meeting Nagi they've become one thing. soccer/football is his life, Nagi is his life, because they're his only chance at being happy.
(Nagi is able to distinguish between the court and Reo: this way, Reo is just as special as Isagi is, since Isagi may have made him see the fun in soccer/football, but Reo made him get angry. Nagi who thinks that his strong quality is the fact he never gets angry, that he's a pacifist. Isagi is his soccer/football revolution, Reo is his life revolution.
Reo can't. they all insult each other on the field, but they're all friends afterwards. not Reo. not yet)
now he's lost Nagi, and his dream, and he has to pick himself up from the ground.
this is how Reo changes.
4. miscommunication is a beast
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As I said before, Nagi starts to think that Reo only cared about him because of his talent. he's angry at Reo. he doesn't understand why Reo said those things, why he was so stupid, why he didn't understand Nagi.
he says "I'm not his toy" and he isn't, but really, try to get into his shoes.
he thinks his partner, his best friend, doesn't believe in them as a duo anymore, doesn't want to believe in them like he used to now that Nagi has changed, now that he's more "independent" from Reo.
"what, now that I know how to fight alone, he doesn't want me anymore?" that would be anyone's first thought.
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and he doubts Reo's trust in their dream.
when did Reo start to have so little faith in them, in Nagi? when did he give up on them? he thinks that, after spending weeks trying to improve just to make Reo's dream true.
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and he's angry, but he still hopes to play with Reo again.
he still want to, because him and Reo are partners and Nagi still believes in their dream. because he remembers Reo's passion, and he believes in him.
+) 5. being relatable as fuck
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(what kid with absent/abusive parents never thought back on their action and went anxiously all "Am I just like them?")
Reo begs Nagi to stop being so strong, stop improving so quickly, stop running towards a place Reo can't reach yet, and isn't this a human thing to do? He desperately wants to be with Nagi, and thinks that he'd rather stop him from improving rather than lose him. He thinks "Please, give up on your dream, your ego"- and isn't that familiar?
he just thought the same thing his father, a man he hates and despises and who doesn't believe in Reo, told him. and he said that to Nagi. Nagi who gave him a ticket to the top by being at his side, who let him see hope.
he panics. am I just like him? Am I cruel enough to wish for someone to give up on their dreams, just to get something out of their failure?
he's different from his father, because he's seventeen, he's scared to lose his best friend, and we can be irrational in situations like this one. does he know it? no, the same way he doesn't understand that Nagi didn't left because of him.
so yes, he's in the worst head-space ever.
isn't he relatable? this is what that made reo my favourite character in a second, probably. he's so human and he makes so many mistakes and he's so stupid sometimes, but I can see myself in him very clearly.
and now.
in what way is their relationship not balanced? their love and care not mutual? in what way one used or manipulated the other?
I think they're flawed, and they made mistakes, and they hurt each other, but I also think that we throw in the word "toxic" the moment a relationship isn't perfect.
they're friends and they're teens, they will make mistakes and they will hurt each other, and their friendship (and they were roommates) won't be perfect- this doesn't make it less genuine or beautiful.
don't get me started on what happens in the manga (really don't do it) (all of this was just nagi's spin off!!!)
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ultrasharpy12345stuff · 6 months
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SUCCESS STORY (manifesting)
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OMFG you guys! I did it! I made it to my desired reality! I'm living my desired life!
All I did was decide it's done. More specifically, I just did Angel's fulfillment challenge (which you don't have to do). Everyday I just decided to live like I was in my desired reality right now as often as I could and whenever I wanted to.
If I vented, I vented. If I ranted I ranted. If I sabotaged my manifestation I just decided it wouldn't matter and that nothing would ruin my manifestation and everything was ok and fine.
And this is totally optional but I affirmed sometimes. I just did to remind myself that it was done.
My affirmations were:
-I'm living my desired life
-Nothing can ruin my manifestation
-I'm in my desired reality
-I'm in my desired reality in my penthouse in Tokyo
-I have all my desires
-The 3D conforms instantly
And it worked! And now I'm happy! I woke up today IN my penthouse in Tokyo! The view of the city is amazing. I checked my bank account and it turns out I'm super rich! Like I literally have BILLIONS of dollars. And it's like I always get millions of dollars out of nowhere! So it's like I get paid just to exist!
Also life in this reality is soooooooo different than on Earth. Like the people in the city are nice... but they aren't just humans beings. I'm seeing Japanese monsters walking around wearing uggs! I can also see Godzilla walking around in a place in the city it's so cool! (don't worry, they made a place in the city specifically for her)
I can also enter the void anytime I fall asleep. Like everytime I go to sleep I wake up IN the void state completely aware. I know this because I just decided I would go to sleep and I did! (one of the things I also manifested, to fall asleep instantly)
And guess what? I also revised my ENTIRE life. Like all the shitty, terrible things that happened to me and all the awful things I've done are GONE! They never happened. All the arguments I had with people on Youtube are gone, they never happened. I never met those people. All the people who I argued with on Discord, well I never argued with them. All the problems with my family are gone.
I also have new memories of me being in Highschool. It went great! I made some friends, they never got angry at me, I got to play my videogames, and I never had to deal with any kind of stress. And I also have my college degree even though I never went to college.
Also let me show you what I look like:
This body:
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This is my hairstyle (except it's white colored):
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This is my face (trigger warning: AI art, also dw I'm black):
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And I'm like popular on Twitter. I'm as popular as @rariatoo. People follow my art and they love drawing my OCs and characters, it's so much fun. Plus I have a patreon and a redbubble. I get to make my OCs as plushies and stickers and ship them off.
And the best part is that there's no wars! No covid, no genocide in the Congo or Palestine, no racism, no problems. And there never will be, everything is fine! Its literally a Utopia.
Summary of what I manifested:
-Desired life & reality
-Freezing Time
-Revising entire life
-Different family (same soul but different looks (slightly) and better personality)
-Entering the void whenever I fall asleep and at will
-A butler friend who I can summon and make disappear at will (he's super nice and never have any problems, perfect personality, kinda shy, and we just had some woopie 🥵🤪)
-Magic (I can do LOTS of crazy stuff)
-Being able to shift realities at will
-Visiting my family through a magic door (my family lives in what I call, "Reality # 3 and I can visit them anytime I want)
-Spawning groceries and food whenever I want (I still go out, dw)
-Friends on discord and some IRL
-Money money monayyyyyyyyyyy
-Perfect health and mental health, no problems with my body
-Never getting yelled at ever again or abused/nobody gets abused/abuse doesn't exist. Yellers don't exist.
& a lot of other personal things
You guys got this! You can get your dream life! Go for it! *I didn't get my dream life yet, that's why the title reads:
"SUCCESS STORY (𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗶𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴)" When you put "manifesting in the title it means you haven't gotten your desires yet but you're doing it to help you live in the end. SO please don't be angry or offended.*
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dreaming-of-lu · 8 months
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A/N: Hiyaaa, it's been awhile tehe. I'm like kicking myself back into gear again since I know I haven't posted, but I figured I leave y'all with this until I can smack some things out.
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The sight was adorable.
He was too sweet for his own good even if his form and posture spelled a whole 'nother thing. Don't get it too wrong, he may look terrifying and stoic to those who do not know the man well, sometimes putting it to good use yet when it came to children? He was a sucker and tried his best to not scare them with his towering height. Instead he entertained the kids of the village, letting them climb onto his back as he patiently answered their never ending streams of questions.
Though, never would you have guessed that he did entertain their playful antics, then again, you knew that the little boy inside of him was healing.
Time dipped, dived and spun on his heel with a laugh loudly leaving him, a smile so bright and wide on his lips as the children of the village squealed out in joy. All following him so eagerly, trying to tag him, get him to falter yet he stayed ahead of them.
"Looks like he's in a very good mood," you turned to see the captain make his way to you.
"That he is, captain," Warriors squints at the mumbled response. "Is everything okay?" He nudged his shoulder against yours, staring hard into your features, obviously looking for a crack to unfold.
"It's nothing," you shook your head, eyes never once leaving the happy form of the leader. He never had looked so stress free in his life, normally was on the run, tending to any tasks that were settled upon his already weary torn shoulders. It was a privilege to see him like this just once.
"You know, he wasn't always like that," Warriors pipes up, "I mean by stoic and level headed."
"Oh?" you perked up, "do tell?"
A short huff of laughter passed the captains' lips, "he was actually a menace believe or not, a good one, but enough to be a pain in the arse."
"Really?" You leaned in closer to Warriors.
"Oh, yes," Warriors fondly watched the lumbering man trip and fall over his feet, immediately glomped on by the kids. He laughs at the sight, shaking his head, "it must be weird seeing or knowing about this." "Not really," you shrugged, "people like him tend to have soft spots."
Silence overtook the area.
"You love him, don't you?"
"WHa-" you sputtered, "wh-where did you get that idea?!"
Warriors tapped your nose lightly, "that my dear, is a secret for me to know."
"Captain, I swear on the goddessses, if you ev-" He held a hand up calmly, cutting off your rant.
"I'm not interested in meddling with your love affairs," he playfully winked, "that's more of yours to deal with."
"LINK!"
The captain laughs hard in response when the leader of the group shot up so quick in worry.
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lightsoutletsgo · 6 months
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gotta go my own way — ln.4
pairing: lando norris x reader
word count: 1.3k
warnings: angst to absolute crack and stupidity that makes no sense
request: Hi, can you do an angsty fic inspired by “I gotta go my own way” from HSM2. If can either be Charles or Lando or Charlando and they fuck up or something and reader leaves them? Maybe hurt/no comfort? It’s okay if you don’t want to
I fully thank @norrizzandpia for the hot mess that is the end of this fic. we couldn't stop cry laughing once we pictured the rest of the grid watching them sing the song and thus the end of the fic was born. (also credits to them bc I stole some of the dialogue lines they sent to my dm's!) happy reading! mimi 🤍 (I'm so so sorry if this isn't the request fill you were hoping for 😭)
taglist (all works): @arieslost - babe I'm so sorry I'm tagging you in this mess
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“Y/N wait!!” You heard Lando call your name from the opposite side of the hotel courtyard and you turned to see him sprinting after you. You stopped and rested your suitcase next to you as he reached you, “Where are you going? Baby we can talk about this!” His hand reached for your arm and you stepped back with a sigh, “Lando… Listen…” He looked at you, pleading as he searched your face, “I guess I just need to say it straight right?” Your heart clenched, god knows this wasn’t easy, “Something about us just… doesn’t seem right these days…” You tried to speak as gently as possible, wanting Lando to understand you weren’t mad at him. “Neither one of us can help it, I know that, but it feels like whatever we try and do somehow the plan is always rearranged…” You trailed off, stepping back towards him and taking his hand gently. You didn’t look up at him, instead choosing to look at where his hand was now gently squeezing yours, his thumb rubbing back and forth in a soothing motion. Whether it was to soothe you or himself you weren’t sure but you took a deep breath to calm yourself. 
He didn’t say a thing, just gave you the space to continue talking, “I knew what I signed up for when I started dating you and if I went back and did it all over again I wouldn’t change my mind. I guess I just didn’t expect that it would affect my life so much? My job, my friends, my family?” Your eyes flitted up to his and you noticed how there were tears now pricking the corner of his eyes. “So what are you saying?” Your bottom lip trembled as you shrugged apologetically, “I’ve got to move on and be who I am…” It was so silent that you hardly dared to breathe. “Lando I’ve tried, I really really have but… Losing my privacy? Losing my time with the other people I love? Sacrificing my job? I just-” Lando scoffed and took his hand away from you “But what about us? What about everything we’ve been through?” “Well what about trust and everything that I’ve given up for you?!” You couldn’t help the way you raised your voice, Lando flinched at your words, seeming to realise how blind he’d been about your struggles, 
“You know I never wanted to hurt you…” You nodded and almost shrunk in on yourself, “I know…” Lando approached you slowly, not wanting to make you feel pressured or smothered, “I just need to know… Do you not love me anymore?” You let out a forced laugh as your eyes welled up with tears, “Do I not love you anymore? Lando I still love you so much that it’s killing me to do this but I know I have to-” “Why? If you still love me then why?!” “Because if I don’t leave you now then I’ll continue to give up everything else for you because I love you that damn much but maybe for a while I need to love myself!” You ranted, panting when you finished. 
He inhaled sharply and you couldn’t help but let the tears fall as you spoke quietly, “I’m sorry- “Don’t apologise. You have nothing to be sorry for.” His voice was firm,  “I have to go, my flight is in a couple of hours.” “I’ll miss you.” His voice was even softer, barely audible even though you were so close to him. “Who knows… maybe we’ll find our place in the world someday?” Lando gave a weak smile, “Yeah, maybe we will… Can I hug you? Just once more and then I swear, I’ll let you leave.” You nodded, unable to speak as you started crying harder.
Lando pulled you into his arms, as he too felt the tears start to fall, “I know you need to do this but it still really fucking hurts…” “I know Lando,” You pulled back to gently cup his face, “I gotta go my own way…” You smiled with a shrug. He pulled you closer to him and gently pressed a kiss to your forehead, your eyes closing as you inhaled deeply. “I’ll see you round?” “Yeah,” You grabbed the handle of your suitcase and started to walk towards the door, “I’ll see you around.” ✩ ♬ ₊.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩ ♬ ₊.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧ ✩ ♬ ₊.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧
Alex sat on the balcony of his hotel room that overlooked the courtyard, enjoying the cool night air. The door opened and out stumbled Oscar and Logan, their eyes glassy from the alcohol they’d been drinking at the afterparty. Alex chuckled, “Steady on guys.” Logan gave him a hazy half-lidded smile, “I’m okay!” Alex snorted, “Sure you are.” He turned his attention back to his laptop where his movie was paused. “Oh look! There’s Lando and Y/N!” Alex followed where Oscar was pointing to see you dragging your suitcase and Lando running after you. “Oooo I missed them! Should I call them over? HEY LA- MMPH!” Logan’s shout was muffled by Alex darting to cover his mouth, “I think they’re fighting?” Oscar looked sad as Logan tapped Alex’s arm to release him, “Surely not? They’re the perfect couple?” Alex leaned over the balcony, thankful that it was quiet enough that they could hear some of the conversation.
“What’s up guys?” The door on the balcony of the room next door slid open and out stepped George and Charles, “Lando and Y/N are fighting?” “Lando and Y/N? There’s no way! They’ll work it out.” Charles said confidently shrugging. Oscar’s brows furrowed suddenly, “Are you guys hearing that music too?” George frowned and craned his ears, “Why does that sound like High School Musical?” “Alex, is your film playing?” Logan asked innocently, “You were watching High School Musical?” Oscar snickered, “NO!” “I don’t know if I should be more concerned that we’re hearing music coming from nowhere or that George knew what it was straight away…” George scoffed at Charles, “Excuse me but the second movie has the best songs.” 
“Is no one else concerned that it’s coming from where Lando and Y/N are?” Oscar pointed out. “Oh God they’re singing.” Alex’s jaw dropped open, “Shut up they’re not?” “I promise you they are.” George and Charles paused for a moment to look at each other before scrambling out of George’s room and down the hallway to Alex’s. They burst into the room and pushed their way onto the balcony, squishing in between Oscar and Alex to lean over the railing. Charles slapped a hand over his mouth as he heard Lando sing the next line very loudly and out of tune, “Are they high?” George pondered out loud, “What exactly is going on?” “Well it can’t be a fight, there’s no way that’s a fight.” Logan spoke matter of factly, “Do you think they’re aware of what they’re doing?” Their expressions varied as you warbled out a somewhat high note, 
“More than that, do you think they know we can hear them?” Logan’s hand came up to cover his ear, “Should we stop them?” Charles asked, “Nope!” “Absolutely not.” George and Alex spoke across each other as Oscar’s phone appeared out of nowhere in his hand and he held it up to start filming. “Are they okay?” Nobody answered Logan, instead just watching you and Lando, until they heard a cough from above them. Leaning back against the balcony and tipping their heads to look up they saw Carlos looking down at them, “That, my friends, is debatable. But it is entertaining, no?” Everyone’s attention turned back to the two of you as the song came to an end and you walked away from Lando, “Oh my god guys, I think that was actually them breaking up.” Logan stated as everyone stood there in shock. Nobody spoke for a moment until Carlos’ voice filtered down from the balcony above, “Also I’ve been out here the entire time and would like to let you know that Alex was actually watching Camp Rock.” 
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hughesyodaddy43 · 6 months
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you're gonna be okay ⎸ J.H
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Jack Hughes x Reader synopsis : when Jack loses a big game, he comes over to seek support from his favourite person. word count: 1.5k warnings: sad jack, fluff, angst? Authors note: I have more fanfics coming soon, i have a range of them pre -planned with covers and titles and I read everyones request so if i don't get to yours then it's because i already have a story planned for that player or request. I hope you like this one :)
I slumped down on my bed, easily immersing myself in the world of fiction, every now and then munching on the bowl of popcorn I had sitting beside me. Jack was playing for team USA tonight so I was waiting patiently for him to message me that the game ended so we could call or hang out. Something about these big games excited me, not for the sport but for the post game interviews. 
It was nice to watch the interviews and read through the comments as if you couldn't just ask Jack the same questions yourself and actually get real and honest answers. 
You didn't know the final score yet so you went on youtube to see if a post game interview was up and you were met with the prettiest blue puppy dog eyes you've ever seen, but you knew jack and this was definitely not gonna be a happy interview. You click on the video and are met with a saddened Jack on the verge of tears, your heart aches for him as you listen to his answers; you were mad that they would interview a 17year old on the verge of tears and still ask the most idiotic questions. 
I only made it about 5 minutes into the video before I  got a message on my phone.
Jack 💘:  I’m outside. 
                                                 Okay, coming down now.         
I  walk down towards the front door and see a dishevelled jack peering back at me.
“Hi. Can I come in?” The young hockey player asks while twirling with his fingers. 
“Of course” I answer, slightly smiling at him as I move my body so he can slip past me. 
He walks through my doorway and up towards my room, I trail behind him closely up until he reaches my bed and slumps down on it , exhaustion evident on his face as he looks up at me standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly, not wanting to make him feel worse, though judging by the way his lip quivered and his head shook, I'm not sure that was the right decision. 
“We lost” he says just above a whisper 
“Hm?” I walked closer to him and sat beside him, reaching over to hold his hand that he was fiddling with in his lap. “We lost the game, we lost everything” he states, audible this time.
“Oh. well it’s okay-” "NO ITS NOT OKAY” Jack yells, standing up and turning to face me, running his hands through his freshly washed hair. “It's not okay, I let my team down, I let my parents down, I've let everyone down and I'm so tired” he rants on, quieting down towards the end. 
“Hey, hey . It is okay, alright? Just because you've lost this game, doesn't mean you've lost everything"
"yes it does, you have no idea what it's like to lose something like this. You don't have to worry about making sure you end up drafted. You'll never know.” ' Jack replies quickly, raising his voice once  again 
“you havent lost everything,i know it feels like it and i know you’re upset. But please don’t start yelling at me when I'm just trying to help you.'' He looks at me after I say this, tears filling up his eyes.
 “You’re right, im sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm just so angry at myself, I could've played better , we could've won but I let everyone down." I stand up and walk in front of him 
“Hockey is a team sport, Jack. One loss isn't your fault, besides all hockey players lose big games, even the best of the best.” Jack doesn't reply, instead he just nods his head and wipes a falling tear from his cheek.
“You’re an amazing player Jack, anyone can see that. You played well, and so did everyone else. Losses happen, it wouldn't be competitive if nobody lost.” He nods again, looking down at the ground. 
I sigh before continuing “why don't we just lay down and watch a movie?hm?” i ask 
The boy sniffles before nodding, replying with a light yeah as he makes his way back over to my bed. He sits against the headboard and watches me as I sit down and open my laptop. Stupidly i forgot to close the youtube tab i had opened from his interview and there it was, my boys said face displayed on my computer. I look over at Jack, he stares at the screen then back at me. 
“Sorry, i usually watch your post game interviews” i apologise.``its okay, i think its cute you watch my interviews” he smiles lightly at me, his beautiful smile that i didnt think i'd see tonight was there on display “what can i say? You're just too hard to resist” I joke, gaining a light chuckle from the boy  before fixing my eyes back to the screen so we can pick something to watch.
X
X
“Do you really think everything will be okay?” Jack asks in a mumble. “Mhm, you're gonna be okay” Jack leans up to face me “i'm gonna be okay” he repeats “you’re gonna be okay” i reply before he leans in and presses his soft lips on mine, we pull away and jack returns to his previous position, snuggling his face into my neck. “Goodnight, Jack. Love you” i say softly “mm night, love you too y/nn” jack replies before swiftly drifting off to a much needed sleep.
I wrap my arms around Jack in a warm embrace, sinking down into the pillows and pulling the blanket up higher. Light snores are audible from the boy as he leans into my touch, even when he's sleeping, he still manages to tighten his arms around me, lightly rubbing circles on my skin from where my shirt rolled up. I play with his hair while  allowing my eyes to grow heavy and fall into a peaceful slumber. Comfortable with the outcome of this otherwise devastating night
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taesanluv3r · 3 months
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chronicles of an overly in-love woonhak.
kim woonhak x reader
entirely in woonhak's pov (he's just yapping to himself the whole time), this is so dumb n stupid but i think it's silly cute idk 😓 cuss words!! lowercase intended, pls excuse any spelling mistakes / grammatical errors <3 enjoy :3
wc: 1,401
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"relax woonhak, it's not that hard"
all i needed to do was make a move. seriously, how hard could it be? i mean it was easy to help riwoo make a move on the girl he liked, so why would it be hard for me to make a move on someone myself?
but of course, the difference was that riwoo was hitting on someone random from his dance class while i, little pathetic old kim woonhak, just had to have a crush on the ever-so untouchable, and insanely stunning…
yn fucking ln.
i mean she's like- way way way out of my league, right? the other day i confided in taesan, i always talk to him when i feel lost...well only when i'm lost in the thoughts of her. that's only cause she's rather close to him, they're like siblings who aren't related at all- i think it's pretty sweet. otherwise, i wouldn't ever confide in that menace.
but he knows her very well, and he knows me very well, it's the perfect combination. anyways, i told him about my feelings for her, how she absolutely drove me insane. i mean who wouldn't go insane? she's just so effortlessly...her, in a good way, of course. god nothing bad about her would ever come out of my mouth...she's just perfect.
okay maybe I'm lying, she can be a little stubborn and bitchy sometimes...but that's just another thing I can go on and on and on talking about. i'm always talking about her.
taesan laughed at me, he told me i was oblivious and delusional if i couldn't see that she felt the exact same way. i mean can you believe that? she feels the same?! about me?! about kim woonhak?!
i don't believe it for a second...okay, i lied again. the statement did fuel my stomach up with butterflies and make my head spin and cheeks flush and all that…jazz.
and then he said one thing, the one thing that's making me think about everything all over again.
"if you love her so much, make a move!"
and so now here i am, sitting in bed at one o' clock in the morning. only eight hours until i have to go to school. which means that i only have eight hours to construct the most perfect plan to finally make my move. i mean how hard could it be? it's just like chess! not that i'm good at chess, i actually kinda suck at it…
"ugh cut it out woonhak, you're wasting your time!"
she probably doesn't even like me back. maybe she's just as nice as she is to me with everyone else. and surely that drawing she made me was just a friendly gift! and of course the poems she sent me were probably drafts for someone else…though she did send one with my name in it once…
wait.
wait a fucking minute.
SHE PROBABLY DOES LIKE ME BACK?!
OKAY, okay calm down woonhak. no need to get your hopes up too unecessarily high…
this does give me confidence though, just keep thinking positively and make your move at school FIRST THING IN THE MORNING!
"i got this!"
maybe i lied a little to my reflection in the mirror whilst getting ready for school this morning. cause she was right there when i arrived, alone and ready for me to go tell her I love her, but fear got the best of me…as per usual.
so now i'm here, in fucking science class having to listen to professor lee rant about whatever problem he had with lamarck's theory as opposed to darwin's. interesting one though, i know yn has a real interest in the theory of evolution and just about everything else biology related- maybe not plant biology, she didn't look too happy when we were told we're gonna study plant science next week.
just as i started thinking about her all over again, a piece of paper struck my head from behind. it landed in between my back and my chair, not very comfortable. i turned to reach for it, checking out whoever threw it at me as i did so.
yn ln shoots her unique smile at me, her lips tilting crookedly. she never smiled with her teeth because she doesn't quite like how it looks. i strongly disagree, i think it's adorable when her uneven fangs show, it's just another peculiar thing i get to love about her.
i stare too long, too long that she has to raise her eyebrows to remind me of the paper i was supposed to retrieve from behind me and read. my cheeks were probably redder than the ripest of strawberries- ironically, her favourite fruit.
the page was off-white, a cute rilakkuma print bordering the lined-sheet…classic yn ln and her cutesy stationary. i couldn't help but smile as i opened it to find her neat, yet absurdly tiny handwriting.
i admired it for a second, not quite reading the actual note just yet, but once i did…
the ink was pink, one of the gel-pens she usually used to write her overly pretty notes for literature. and the words she scribbled on the page were simple. well, as simple as such a complex and interesting girl like her could ever get.
"hi woonhak, i like you. like a lot. see you under the bleachers at lunch. :) <3 ★"
not even a question. if it weren't for the doodles of hearts, smiley faces, and stars all over the note i would've deemed it a threat.
another lie. i should stop lying. she could tell me to throw myself off a cliff or threaten me with a knife and i'd still be flustered and in love.
the lunch bell came a lot sooner than i calculated. perhaps my brain had been overstimulated by the test i had just finished, or maybe time is just that unpredictable when you're anxious.
i desperately needed to piss- another lie that i told myself to postpone the possible embarrassment i might encounter with my crush under the bleachers today. fuck. why am i so nervous?
i decided it's best to just YOLO and speed over to her usual spot under the bleachers. what's the worst that could happen? you know...besides her revealing it was all a prank and then totally making fun of me!!!!!!! ha ha...ha...
i'm cooked.
she was already there, a slight worry on her face as if she had been waiting and wondering where i had been. i was about to mutter an apology for being late, saying i needed to go to the bathroom and such but she didn't let me talk.
"i know you like me, woonhak"
at this point i was shitting sweat.
"um-"
i was interrupted.
"you took too long to say anything and frankly, i got impatient. cause i like you too- like- a lot. lol"
lol, she ended every serious sentence with that abbreviation to lighten the mood- cute.
all i could do was chuckle in relief.
"can we kiss now?"
she asks, her words coming out a little stale and hasty, but sweet. in a way that made my heart break and melt into bits and pieces. who am i kidding though, she does anything and i'll melt into bits and pieces.
"yeah-"
her lips halted my chatter. she tastes like an odd mixture of banana milk and…honey garlic fried chicken- but it tasted kind of good...?
remind me to ask her where she got her lunch from cause...damn.
the kiss lasted longer than i would've earlier expected, her hands were in my hair and mine held her waist. i had to bend down a little, she's not that short but she's definitely not tall. not as tall as me, that is.
alas we seperated. she giggled softly and i can see a faint pink tint brushed against her cheeks as she caught her breath. then she looked up at me, with the most precious set of eyes. it didn't last long as her complexion changed completely in a matter of seconds before these words left her mouth:
"ask me out, loser"
and that's just the push i needed.
"yn ln, be my girlfriend and take me to whatever place you got the fried chicken your lips tasted like!"
she giggled again- i swear a braincell of mine disappears every time she so much as smiled- stepping forward to hug me, which i happily accepted by the way…she smells good. she smells like a...fresh...teddy bear? yeah.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
"i can't believe you actually like me back" i blurted out, watching as she stuck a chicken wing into her mouth. the sauce got on her face and i helped her wipe it off like the gentleman that i am.
"and i can't believe you confided in taesan, of all people!" her words were muffled as she chewed.
"whatever babe, now why don't you eat first and talk later"
she almost chokes as she stares at me with this bewildered look on her face. how could a person be so adorable? like? this???? this cutie??? SHES my girlfriend???!!!???
she speaks with half a drumstick in her mouth and her eyes were opened wide.
"DID YOU JUST CALL ME BABE?!"
lol.
the end.
⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖
LMAOOO idek wht i was going for in this one 😭 i pulled this straight out of my drafts tbh </3 reblogs n feedbacks r vv appreciated!! love u tysm for reading. love, kona.
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zvdvdlvr · 2 years
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- 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐤𝐲
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𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 : 𝒂 𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒆, 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘, 𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : 𝒊𝒎 𝒐𝒏𝒍𝒚 𝒐𝒏 𝒃𝒐𝒐𝒌 4 𝒔𝒐 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒆 𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒚 𝒊𝒏 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔, 𝒇𝒍𝒖𝒇𝒇, 𝒑𝒆𝒕 𝒏𝒂𝒎𝒆𝒔 {𝒍𝒐𝒗𝒆, 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍, 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈}, 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒍𝒌 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒖𝒓𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒑𝒆𝒐𝒑𝒍𝒆'𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒔 𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒓𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚, 𝑭𝑳𝑼𝑭𝑭
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 : 𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓
𝐊.𝐉.'𝐬 𝐃𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐒𝐚𝐲𝐬... 𝒐𝒉 𝒅𝒆𝒂𝒓 𝑮𝑶𝑫 𝒊𝒎 𝑰𝑵 𝑳𝑶𝑽𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑨𝑵𝑵𝑵𝑵. 𝒎𝒚 𝒃𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒉𝒅𝒂𝒚'𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒖𝒑 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊 𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝒋𝒖𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒔𝒌𝒆𝒅 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝒂𝒂𝒓𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒅𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒋𝒂𝒅𝒆 𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 <3
It wasn't often y/n would wake up before Aaron, and that's why she was slightly shocked when her watch read 7:03 and Aaron was still sound asleep with his hands securing y/n directly to his bare chest. His mouth was slightly open. He hummed slightly, burrowing further into his girlfriend.
"Stay w'me, m'love," was barely audible from Aaron's lips as he squirmed around, grasping at the edges of conciousness. "Wanna hold you."
y/n knew Aaron would wake up soon. He had a sixth sense about when y/n woke up, and he also didn't normally sleep in late. His muscular arms loosened slightly, giving y/n the chance (even though she didn't want to) to untangle herself from the sheets and sticky skin.
She shivered when the brisk air brushed her skin. Goosebumps appeared along y/n's forearms, all the way up her arms.
Aaron flopped around on the bed again, a small whimper leaving his mouth. His arms flailed around as he attempted to get comfortable. Even though y/n felt bad for leaving him cold (even though he was basically a heating device), she couldn't help but sigh in happiness at her now unrestricted body movement.
When Aaron stilled once again, y/n made her way to the growing collection of books found... around. y/n selected a book that she'd started. It was by a woman called Cassandra Clare. Maybe it was the way the book was written, the characters, or even the fact that the book had made y/n remember things from the time before The Reestablishment but y/n loved the book.
"Angel?" Aaron's gravelly voice startled y/n as she padded back to the bed. His eyes squinted at the soft light in the room, but his hands reached out to perform a very uncharacteristic grabby-hands movement.
y/n giggled at Aaron's bed-head, sliding into the bed. "Morning, my love," y/n greeted, withholding a small coo at the way Aaron nuzzled into y/n's chest. "You'll suffocate and die if you stay like that for long," y/n laughed, playing with the hair on the back of Aaron's neck.
"I will happily embrace death if you're the one killing me." His sickenly sweet morbid comment made y/n want to laugh and smack him upside the head.
Silence followed while y/n drew small circles on Aaron's muscular back. The Mortal Instruments was set to the side while the pair basked in each other's loving company.
"I'm in love with you, Aaron," y/n murmurs suddenly.
The blond turned his head up to see y/n already gazing at him. "I love you more," he started. "I love you more than a moon loves it's star, I love you more than the stars love the sky, I love you more than the blood in my body loves my heart. I love you more than I love myself, my dear. I will love you until the end of all concept of time and even longer. My heart beats for you and only you," he ranted, brushing a thumb on y/n's cheek. "I love you more than you love watching the stars on the horizon. I'm so in love with you that I would carve my heart from my chest just for you to remember me by."
Aaron searched y/n's eyes during the loud silence that followed.
"You romantic boy," y/n said with emotion, "I feel horrible because I can't string together enough syllables to tell you I love you."
A small grin crossed Aaron's face. "I love you," he said again.
y/n mirrored his smile as he burrowed into her neck. "I love you more, darling." y/n carded her hand through Aaron's soft hair after pressing a small kiss to his temple.
"I love you most."
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year2000electronics · 17 days
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Everything about the way you reshape old Gravity Falls aus is so special to me. It's like you just look at an old Gravity Falls au and go:
'This is good, but we can make it better. I can make it better' *proceeds to make something super interesting*
Anyways I love love your reverse Ford and TOXIC OLD MAN YAOI FOR LIFE
AHH THANK YOU!! i mean personally, myself, i tend to avoid the language of "making something 'better'" because even though there are certain things about old gravity falls aus i 100% hate and do not condone at all (the rampant sexualization of the mystery twins, all the b*lld*p and incest), i think the idea of making something "better" is kinda subjective! like i'm just one person who has their own experiences of writing things, i've had people do their own spins on my writing where they'll say "i made this character/concept in my au of your story because i feel like this decision was weird and didn't make sense" when i think it makes perfect sense, or, like, someone doing their own variations on my character designs and adding their own personal preferences (like adding animal traits onto my human characters) that i kinda dont really care for but i dont HAVE to? if that makes sense? cos thats what i like and thats what they like! we're all out here creating these beautiful imperfect things and i feel like tossing aside the idea of "fixing" someone's writing or making it "better" can really help you with the creative process, it's helped me a lot imo, kept me humble and cognizant of other peoples' writing going on in the world :]
ANYWAYS HIPPIE RANT OVER im flattered you like my interpretations!! it makes me happy :] heres some toxic yaoi for your time
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roonilwazlibimagines · 8 months
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control freak pt.2 - t.n x female!reader
Blurb: theo has control issues but his girlfriend doesn't mind
Word Count: 4.1k
A/N: warning - toxic!theo!! i also really don't like this but so many people wanted me to post it and i don't see myself making it better anytime soon so i thought i'd post it even though i hate it, sorry :/// i mainly hate it because it is just pure self indulgence, because my ex best friends actually did ruin my 21st and this brought up old wounds so if anyone wants to hear some gossip about people they don't know please hit me up because i'm ready to rant
also i'm so sorry of this is overstepping, but i tagged whoever asked for part 2 bc you all made me so happy commenting on my post <3333 @gilmore12 @avalentina @pretties-t
Masterlist | Part 1
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If she had her way, people would stop calling Theodore Nott controlling. Okay, maybe there had been times where he had lied to her and deceived to get his way, and sure, he was quick to rise to temper which often made her just agree with him, but it was just because he always knew what was best. 
And that was what she kept repeating in her trembling mind the night that Theo had made the phone call. 
She liked this side of him. She had said it to him explicitly that she liked it when he took control and she didn’t have to actively use her brain. 
After a year of dating, she thought Theo would be used to her indecisiveness, and yet, she was sat on the edge of his bed, all dressed up, whilst he he towered over her, waiting for her to make up her mind. 
“It cannot be this difficult of a decision.” 
“I just don’t know what I feel like.” Her legs were swaying, the backs of her thighs hitting the blanket draped over the edge of her bed. She hummed in thought, noticing the way Theo’s jaw began to tick. 
“What about that Mexican place?” This was the third place he had offered and even he noted the desperation in his voice.
“Do you want to go there?”
Theo had had enough. He knew the pretty girl sitting in front of him was hopeless at making decisions, but this was too far. 
“We’re going to the pizza place you like, okay?” Before she could open her mouth he continued, “C’mon, get up, we’re going.” And his arm was shooting out towards her so she grabbed hold of it and kept her mouth shut. 
And it was only after they left Hogwarts that she admitted to her pretty boyfriend that she liked when he ordered for her, because that was what he always did. And once he had this admission, Theo made sure his pretty girlfriend never had to make an order for whatever it was her heart desired. 
“I don’t know what a feel like, maybe I’ll just get cheese.” She put the pizza menu down and looked at Theo who was already looking back at her. 
“Sounds good.” He wasn’t too interested in the topic of the conversation, but he always made sure the pretty girl in front of him had his full attention. 
“What are you getting?” 
Theo knew what would happen the second he answered, and like clockwork, she immediately replied, “Ooh, maybe I’ll get that too.” 
“You can have some of mine,” he offered.
“But yours sounds better.” 
“We can have half of each.” 
But she wasn’t listening, her attention was drawn back to the paper menu in front of her. 
“I think I’m going to get vegetarian, instead,” she hummed.
“Whatever you want, princess.”
He watched her bit her bottom lip, and the skin above her nose crinkle. 
“Nah, I’ll get cheese.” Before Theo could respond she continued, “No, vegetarian.” Theo didn’t respond. “No, definitely cheese.” 
“You sure?” 
“No.” 
And Theo thought he really couldn’t be to blame for his control issues when his girlfriend was like this. 
When the waiter came over and looked at her first, she gave them a polite smile, but then returned her attention to the pretty boy in front of her, undeterred by the waiters lack of attention and relaying their order in full confidence. 
“-and a vegetarian pizza please,” he finished, making the decision for her. 
She liked not having to worry about trivial things like this, and Theo liked making sure he could rid a worry as small as this. Because that was all he wanted. For her to receive the best. 
Which was why, the night after her friends had called him controlling, he decided that he didn’t like the sound of these ‘work friends’.
And, no, it wasn’t just because they had caled him controlling. Merlin, most of his friends told him to his face that he was controlling. He already knew that. 
It was because even though they had invited her to go out countless times since that night, he didn’t properly meet them until her birthday. 
He had offered to bring them in when he brought her in, but she brushed him off. 
“I offered, but they declined,” she shrugged her shoulders, looking at the mirror in the sun shade for the passenger seat, missing the way Theo kept glancing over to her. 
When he picked her up he asked again if anyone needed a ride home, just like the good boyfriend he was. 
“I offered, but they said they were fine.” Yet when the drover around the corner a small sound of surprise left her pretty lips. 
“What’s wrong, princess?” Theo’s eyes kept flicking away from the road, trying to read her pretty face that was staring out of her window. 
“Nothing,” she shrugged her shoulders and turned back to face him, giving him a faux reassuring look. 
“Tell me,” he said in a tone that left no room for argument. 
“They’re just in line for another club,” she gave another shrug as if this had no importance, but it did to Theo because he could tell, even though she tried to hide it, that it had importance to the pretty girl sitting next to him. 
“I thought you were all going home,” he squinted his eyes slightly as he turned to look at her, but she wasn’t looking at him. When they drove past a light, he could see that she was chewing the edge of her lip. 
“I thought so,” she shrugged, finally turning to him, “oh well, I was ready to go home anyway.” She gave him a smile and if Theo hadn’t spent three years of his life with her, he would be convinced she was fine. 
It didn’t take long for Theo to decide that he didn’t like these so called friends. He didn’t explicitly tell his girlfriend this, but he didn’t hide his disdain either. 
When they cancelled plans and she went over to his house instead he’d angrily ask, “Well did they tell you why?”
“One of them had other dinner plans.” 
“But you had planned this a week ago.” 
She shrugged, “something came up.” 
The look he gave her was enough for her to know that he wasn’t happy so she changed the subject. “I really want to watch this new movie tonight, I don’t think you’ll love it, but I think you’ll tolerate it.” 
When he got a phone call from her barely an hour after they had gone out, reassuring him that she was okay, but she wanted to go home, he’d demand, “It was them wasn’t it, what did they do?” 
And even though he hadn’t said who ‘them’ were she’d still say, “no I’m just not feeling up to partying tonight.” 
Even though she sheepishly admitted that they were more interested in hooking up with some random guys then staying out together for their girls night which she originally thought was the plan. 
“That’s horrible.” 
She shrugged. “It’s fine. Do you think we can stop for some ice cream on the way home though?” 
The reality was, it was easy for her to say that Theo was just being his usual controlling herself. This was how normal friendships worked. And she didn’t have a lot of friends. She had her Hogwarts friends, but they were older now and weren’t in contact as much. And it was a much easier thought that this was what friendship was like rather than facing the fact that she didn’t really have any friends. Besides Theo of course. 
But she wouldn’t tell him these thoughts because she knew he would go on a rampage unti she was happy, so she never expanded on it and made sure that Theo never got a chance to tell her he hated her friends, even if she was certain he despised them. 
A few months later, just after they had been together for four years, Theo knew that it was time to make his lovely girlfriend his lovely wife, and he wasn’t going to let her friends come in the way of that, not when they had gotten this far. 
They had a small engagement party with their friends from Hogwarts and a couple of their work friends. She had, of course, invited those two girl from work, even if Theo had rolled his eyes behind her back when she informed him. 
It started when the two girls started fawning over her ring. 
“I need to know how much this cost.” 
Sure, Theo was the first to admit he had traditional values. She had teased him before about being old-fashioned. But he didn’t think discussing the price of his fiance’s engagement ring was an appropriate topic, especially in front of two girls he had maybe met twice, and didn’t exactly like. 
“He refuses to tell me,” the pretty girl grabbing his hand had answered instead. “He’s too old fashioned.” 
Her eyes flickered to him to let him know that she was joking and he gave her hand a itte squeeze to let her know that he knew. 
“Oh come on,” one of them said, “I’m dying to know.” 
The conversation lasted another couple of minutes with his pretty girl trying to swerve around the question while he remained silent. Which was unusual for Theodore Nott. 
Sure, he was a man of little words. And he much preferred to sit and observe rather than get invovled in the action. But that was always the opposite when it came to the pretty girl next to him. But he thought that if he opened his mouth, none of the three girls around him would like what would come out. 
But then it continued when one of them tried to flirt with Blaise albeit his polite refusal, not wanting to make a scene at one of his best mate’s engagements. 
Theo didn’t think anything of it until she had the audacity to come over to him and ask him about it. 
“You know your friend Blaise?” 
“Obviously.”
“What’s his story?” 
Theo refused to answer. They were in a private room and he was standing next to the bar, a drink in hand and he sipped it to avoid responding. 
Unsprusingly, she continued anyway. 
“Like, is he in a relationship? I didn’t think he was but then he refused me, but he is quite fit, I think, and he said this wasn’t the place for it, but I think he was just playing hard to get, what do you think?”
He was going to be drunk quite soon if she kept talking to him. 
“I think I’ll try again. Merliln, I love being friends with someone who has hot friends.” 
Theo downed the rest of his drink and promised himself that he was going to push the conversation out of his mind. 
And he probably would have if his pretty girl didn’t come up to him with a nervous look in her eyes, less than thirty minutes later. 
“What’s wrong?”
“Do you think we coud do cake now?”
Everyone had just finished eating and the volume of the music had increased to encourage people to start dancing. She was on her tippy toes, bringing her lips close to his ear so he could hear. Theo had his next drink in hand, but he was sipping it sowly after drinking the last so fast. 
“We just finished eating darling, give it a minute.” 
“I know but-” she gave herself away when she turned to look at the two girls Theo was trying to ignore the whole night. “They need to leave.” 
“They need to?”
The way she biting her lip and swaying on the spot was all Theo needed to see to tell him that that his pretty girl was lying to him. 
“Well, they got a call from one of their friends and-”
“I don’t want to hear it.” 
“Theo,” she whined. She knew the exact tone she needed to use to make Theo do whatever she wanted. But this apparently only worked for frivolous things. Not something like this. 
“No, we are doing cake later. If they need to leave, let them. But we are not doing it now just for them.”
“But-”
“I said no.” 
He hated the way she practically deflated in front of him. 
He hated that her bottom lip was trembling. 
He hated that they were doing this on their engagement. 
But she had to stop making excuses for these horrible people. 
“Will you tell them no?” Her voice was so soft he wasn’t sure he would have understood her if he wasn’t watching her intently. 
“I’ll tell them more than just no.” 
“Theo,” she whined, but he had already put his drink down and was storming over to them. 
“So you’re leaving?” Theo asked the two girls sitting down at one of the tabes. He had risen to his full height and she was immediately taken back to her Hogwarts days when rising to his full height meant nothing good and definitely something physical. 
“Yeah, but we’ll wait until you do cake.” One of them responded as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 
She was squeezing his hand so hard Theo was convinced she’d leave bruises. Not that he minded. But her nervous energy was rubbing off on him and he wanted to send her away, just like he’d do back in Hogwarts when he’d rise to his full height. 
“Well we just ate, so we probably won’t do cake until later.” 
“Oh,” one of the girls said, “but we’re leaving now.” 
“Well, thank you for coming.”
“Ok,” the other said, standing up. “But I tought you said you’d do cake now?” She asked, turning to the small girl hiding behind her fiance. 
“I-” 
“I said it was too early.” Theo cut her off. 
And that was the end of that conversation. After a very awkward goodbye hug, the two girls had left. 
She didn’t know what to say to Theo. In once instance, she was glad that he had dealt with it. She didn’t really want to do the cake now, it was too early. But she also didn’t want to confront the two girls, she had to see them at work every day!
So even though Theo wanted to let out some sarcastic remark about how nice her friends were. He refrained when he saw the confused look on his pretty girls face. 
Upon reflection, this was the night everything turned messy. 
The next Monday the two girls had confided in their friend. 
“Don’t you think he’s a bit controlling?” One of them asked, trying to make their voice unaccusing but failing horribly. 
She shrugged as she said, “he means well. And, yeah, he is, but I don’t mind.” 
She didn’t dare tell Theo this, who, the night after the engagement, had decided he could bring up how much he hated her friends. 
“I don’t like them.” He had brought up after they had finished opening all of their well wishes. 
She already knew who he was talking about. 
“They mean well.”
“Do they?” He was sitting on the lounge and she had gotten up from her place on the floor to sit next to him. 
“Most of the time,” she laughed, even though he didn’t think it was funny. “They’re just different to us.” 
“Well I don’t like them.” 
She bit her lip. 
“I’m sorry.” Theodore gave her a look. Of course it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t control who she worked with. 
“I just wish they treated you better.” She thought that if they continued with this conversation she’d start crying so she changed the conversation. 
“We have to thank Draco for his very generous gift.” 
Theo wanted to tell her that if he had his way, she would never see them again. He’d help her find a new job, or better yet, she wouldn’t have to work. His family were part of the Sacred 28, she didn’t need to work. 
But even with his controlling streak, he knew that might be a bit too far. 
That was until a couple of months later when it was her birthday. Theo had surprised her with a little trip that required her to take a couple of weeks off work. Which he had already organised. 
The two girls were bummed when she said this would mean she wouldn’t be having a birthday party. 
“But we can still party when I get back!” She had exclaimed.
“So I won’t get to see Blaise again? I really thought I had a shot.” She had gotten in response. 
Theo had organised for her to have a week off before they actually left and on the night before he could finally have her all to himself she was sitting with her head against the back of their bed, biting her lip and staring at her phone. 
“What’s wrong princess?” Theo had asked, lying down next to her. 
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” He repeated. 
“I just, it’s stupid.” She said, turning her phone off and letting her head rest on the pillow next to his. 
“If it makes you look that stressed I’m sure it’s not.” 
“It’s just, they haven’t messaged me all week.” 
Theo already knew who they were. 
Theo wasn’t sure why this frivolous thing was his tipping point but for some reason it was. 
She wasn’t sure why she was telling him this, but it felt good to get off her chest. 
“I messaged them on Monday to say I’d miss them and hoped work wasn’t too boring without me, but they haven’t replied.” Her voice broke at the end of the sentence and Theo was convinced that was why he had chosen now to tip. 
“Don’t message them.” 
“What?” She turned her head to face him. 
“Don’t message them, see how long it takes for them to reach out.”
“Theo, you’re being ridiculous.” He gave her a look to let her know he didn’t like the words that left her pretty mouth. “We’re going away, I want to enjoy my time with you, don’t do this.” 
Much to his annoyance, Theo did as she said, trying to put it to the back of his mind so they could enjoy the trip he had been planning for months. 
But a part of her thought back to what Theo had said many years ago in his car when they were going home from Draco’s. 
“I know what’s best.” 
And she had spent so many years with Theo and there was a reason for this. She trusted him. So even though she made no commitment to it, a piece of her thought that she would listen to his advice. 
For the actual day of her birthday, Theo had planned a special dinner for her. He had gone to extreme lengths to make sure her day was perfect, which was why he couldn’t understand why his girl had a sad aura around her as she got ready for dinner. 
“What’s wrong, princess?”
“Nothing, Theo,” she said, trying to look up at him with sincerity. They were both dressed and ready, standing in their hotel room with their hands intertwined. 
“Princess.” 
“I’m just-” she looked at the ground, “they haven’t messaged me.” 
“Since we left?” 
She nodded. 
“Not even today?” 
She shook her head. 
Theo was ready to apparate back home and give them a piece of his mind, but instead he grabbed her chin and made her look up at him. 
“Please don’t worry your pretty little head about this, they don’t deserve you.” 
She was shocked with his response. She was sure he was going to apparate home and give them a piece of his mind. But he didn’t. And he was a calm in a very un-Theo like manner. And she liked it. So she trusted him. 
So he took her out for dinner and he made her feel like the most special girl in the world. And he did the same for the rest of their trip. 
On the last day they were both on their backs, lying in bed. The bedside lamp was on and Theo turned to see her eyes closed, but a pretty smile gracing her lips that told him she was awake. 
“Darling,” she opened her eyes and turned to him, humming in acknowledgement. “I called work today, told them to give you an extra week off.” 
Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a fraction of a second before she pieced the pieces together and nodded. 
“Thank you.” 
Theo had also taken a week off work to be with herand he became aware that her mood was quick to fluctuate.
After her birthday, Theo distracted her and she was happy. But the day before he could sense the nervous energy radiating from her being which magically disappeared the second he told her he had told work to give her another week. 
Similarly, he noticed she was okay when she was distracted during that extra week off. Until the weekend came. 
It was Saturday night and she was in the shower and Theo had been thinking about this for a while. He knew it was wrong. Knew it was crossing so many lines. But he couldn’t let his fiance suffer like this. 
He grabbed her phone from the bedside table and put in her password. He scrolled through her messages. Many of the last messages being from her, thanking various people for the kind birthday messages. When he found the groupchat he was looking for, he didn’t hesitate. 
The last message had been from her, the week before they left. Theo swore at them in his head. 
This is Theo, I think it’s best you delete her number from your phone. She won’t be coming back to work and she deserves better than the shit you’ve given her. 
Theo almost found it humorous that within seconds he got a reply. 
What the fuck? 
Look who’s talking
He scoffed at both of their replies and waited unti they stopped typing. 
You literally control everything she does
Maybe if she didn’t have such a controlling boyfriend we’d be able to have more fun with her
Theo debated blocking their number, but he just couldn’t resist. 
Right, like the fun you had with her on our engagement? Before you left after barely an hour for some random guy
It was silent for a minute. 
Before you practically kicked us out
Theo let out a quiet laugh
We love her and just want what’s best for her
Theo heard the shower turn off and his heart dropped. 
Yeah, and that’s why you never wished her happy birthday. Fuck off
And with that he blocked both numbers, deleted the group chat from her history, turned her phone off and put it where he found it. 
That was the easy part. Now he just had to convince her not to go to work. 
She came out of the shower, only a towel wrapped around her body, loose strands of hair falling from her bun. 
He could sense an unspoken sadness and he wondered if she could sense his unspoken annoyance. 
“Darling, “ he began, sitting on the edge of the bed as she made her way over to him. If he didn’t have a job to complete, he would’ve taken more time to appreciate the way she instinctively sat on his lap. “I’ve been thinking,” he cleared his throat as she looked up at him. The image of innocence on her pretty face. “Do you really want to work?” 
Apparently it wasn’t too hard to convince her to give it up. He had started explaining, “You know, you’re marrying into the Sacred 28 and I don’t want you to feel like I’m making you give it up-” which he totally was, “but I just want what’s best for you and-”
“Theo,” she interrupted. “I’d like that.” And she gave him a swift kiss before getting up and getting changed into her pyjamas. 
When she came back and joined him in bed he turned to her and said, “I’ll ring them tomorrow,” and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. 
She wasn’t stupid. She had been waiting weeks for a message from them and when she couldn’t even find the groupchat she knew something had happened. Knew that Theo was somehow involved. She debated asking him about it, but did she really want to know? She knew it must have happened while she was in the shower. She could practically hear Theo’s heart beating when she was sitting on his lap, but she was happy to live in denial. Her boyfriend was protective and he liked to look out for her, even if it sometimes crossed the line. But she was happy to put the blame on her two friends, and she fell asleep easy that night knowing that the boy who had his arm around her would always have her back.
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weirdmageddon · 3 months
Text
ok. let's finally talk about this thing i've been wanting to go public with for ages
so i am not a fan of needing THC to help me curb the embarrassment i have in being happy talking about my real realll special interests, because perceived rejection of my interests feels like rejection of myself since i put so much of myself (my time) into them. i anticipate rejection from others because the stuff i find myself occupied with is detached, abstract, highly technical, or niche, and i'm aware of the surrounding cultural assumptions. some of them, and the level at which i am in involved in understanding them, are really specialized or esoteric, so even opening up about them is like "fuuuck im gonna be made fun of or it’s gonna be too technical that they zone out and dont understand why this is so meaningful to me" ive even posted about that feeling before.
see if i start accumulating too much self-context made in my own mind without sharing it i start to feel more and more isolated from other people around me, that they’re not seeing the full extent of what im seeing myself. i don’t share it, because i fear rejection or superficial judgments in other people’s eyes (probably because it’s happened to me and i’ve seen it happen to others). but at the same time it has to be shared with more people around me or else i feel like i have an intestinal blockage in my mind. what happens is my mental colon explodes from all the shit accumulated over time and vou get a post like this. i’m sorry for that mental image btw. anyway back the point of this post
anything where i can systematize archetypes in real, everyday situations has always been my strong suit. so when people ask me my hobbies im like ... uhhh what am i supposed to say? i analyze stuff about the world and rotate it in my mind. when carl jung wrote there are “as many archetypes as there are typical situations in life” i know exactly what he was talking about.
i’ve been toeing the line to really talk about this thing for two years, so let me tell you about socionics. if you already know what im talking about i love you. if you don’t (or even if you do, keep reading there’s probably stuff you don’t know in here), it is part abstract cybernetic model, part jungian concepts, part philosophy of information exchange. it classifies how people communicate and exchange information. it was created in eastern europe in the late 70s, developed primarily in the 80s-90s by other authors and it’s been an endlessly fascinating, elegant, and reliable tool for me.
usually people dismiss personality typology systems because the mbti became so watered down and pop-culturally saturated that people seemed to collectively take a stance of not taking anyone that genuinely cares about it seriously, or at least that’s the impression i got.
(btw — i need to go on this brief rant — i will never forgive 16personalities for being the big five rebranded and people thinking it's mbti. 16personalities gives you your big five type. they explicitly state on their website that they don’t borrow any concepts from jung. -A and -T don’t exist in the mbti and correspond directly to low and high neuroticism respectively. i figured out myself they mapped each letter dichotomy to the other four measures on the big five: extraversion (I/E), conscientiousness (P/J), agreeableness (T/F), openness to experience (S/N). which is stupid and it’s false advertising. take 16p and a big five test see for yourself how they match up. your personal mbti type can be different from its correlated big five type. the actual mbti using jungian concepts as a base is alright though. oh, and the best neo-jungian mbti stuff is by far michael pierce’d takes on it. if you actually fw that heres a carrd i created a few years ago about the cognitive function axes.)
but i always end up going to the bottom of the iceberg in anything i get really into, and i basically integrate it into my own understanding of the world around me for a while. maybe it was because i had a bad experience genuinely talking about it a few years ago from some people who made superficial judgments about it that made me sort of quiet about my interest in typology systems. i assume it’s because myers and briggs used the tool towards racist ends; it acquired negative connotations, bullshit intuition supremacy, and left the study of psychological types tainted in the united states. even if the individual’s study of the system is neutral, unbiased, out of pure curiosity as a way to classify and relate different personality structures to each other, as was the case with me. in addition to 16personalities being an invalid “mbti” test that bought their way to the front page of google, and rampant superficial information at all levels of study, finding anyone who was into it like me was basically impossible. the reason i have a preferred interpretation of jungian + mbti concepts is because i’ve tried different ones on and sensed how well they conform to reality as a way of describing phenomenon, ditching old ones that werent as clear. michael pierce’s i’ve found are the closest to what i sense jung's intentions were. (actually quite likely this is something i would attribute to being because all three of us are types LIl (and also all infj too, how about that?) brain-to-brain communication LII (carl jung) to LII (michael pierce) to LII (me)). so i felt like michael pierce kept the things that worked in real life and ditched the things that didn’t, leaving behind his elegant integration of the concepts.
anyway, i was under the assumption that anything that could be mistaken for it—which socionics often is at a glance—would be dismissed out of hand, even though it’s entirely different. plus, there’s all the context i’d need to clarify about how “it’s different from the “fun” unserious pop-psych mbti and also absurdly more technical” and what's the point in doing that if they don't respect you enough to hear you out anyway? so it just made me closed off.
they share a common ancestor though. the concepts are still based on carl jung’s book ‘psychological types’ which is why there is some shallow overlap, but the scope, structure, and application of it is different. i feel like this system is a lot more “living” and relevant to real interactions and communication between people in our everyday lives. i am always seeing specific examples of these concepts in play in real life and in characters depicted in media. it’s also been more empirically studied and successfully implemented over in eastern europe, and has gone under constant development and contribution. while since the 50s, mbti had crystalized and become stagnant with diverging interpretations to the point where it’s become basically meaningless to try to talk about because nobody can agree on concepts or semantics; there are virtually no distinctions between “schools” or “models” to differentiate interpretations — (although i have my preference for what i think are the most meaningful and reasonable one; as i said, that goes to michael pierce.) eastern (not so much western) socionics is incredibly more well put-together than mbti or kiersey for squeezing the potential from jung’s original ideas, and goes much deeper. that said, i will ALWAYS advise self-studying typlogy concepts over taking a test. the algorithm of a test can never possibly know you and your individual biases in interpreting the meaning of the words better than the knowledge you just have about yourself. if you learn the theory underlying it you will actually learn about yourself and others and it will actually mean something to you instead of a being an empty decoration for your profile.
here is a comparison chart i translated into english so you can get some idea of where these systems actually differ.
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Букалов, А. (2019). On the advantages of socionics over other post-Jungian typologies. Socionics, Mentology and Personality Psychology, (6), 5–7. Retrieved from https://publishing.socionic.info/index.php/socionics/article/view/2603
for me it’s been super insightful applied to real life. it is like a toolkit for interpreting why some people just rub me the wrong way and our communication feels disjointed. or why some people pass my vibe check to enter my personal inner circle and i feel like talking with them is easier and not an uphill battle. who i feel drawn to and want to get to know better. to deconstruct why i and other people interpret information in the world the way they do, and how that explains the kind of people i end up curating in my life. it has put into words the concepts i haven’t been able to find the words for beforehand, and thus enables me to retrospectively pinpoint exactly what unconsciously makes people feel more at ease or why communication is just easier with some and why it’s harder with others, regardless of any other factors. there are other factors of course, that are the result of unique circumstances—nurture, culture, and upbringing—and i of course account for those, it’s not as pertinent to me as the framework that provides the skeletal structure regardless of those individual variations that are simply already a given for me. that was actually the whole point of its creation.
the system gives me a common language to communicate these ideas with, at least to the few people i talk to who have learned it, but i can adapt the concepts in how they relate to specific circumstances and convey it to a lay audience. i’ve been doing just that to explain why, of the people who have been made aware of the hs rarepair john-aradia, i have seen no one object to it, and instead, everyone i saw found it intriguing the more they thought about it, even when they initally thought was “so random”. and i realized, “hey wait! i know how to explain that!”, but that's in another post i've been working on.
[i was actually originally writing this post in the middle of said aradia and john analysis but i felt like there was way too much i wanted to talk about as its own thing. i figured people are going to be reading that post for john-aradia explanation, not public updates about my mind. i just didn’t want to rewrite this to account for the context because the point i made was still relevant]:
but now i’m thinking okay… i’m talking to a bunch of homestucks. why am i prostrating myself here? why am i so defensive? they’re probably creaming their pants at the idea of another symmetrically divisible system of classification to get their hands on. homestuck itself is founded upon a bunch of ideas with symmetrical divisions and classifications (divisible products of 2). aspect dichotomies, quadrants, cards, black-white, yin/yang and literally countless other abstract systems. if there is a common word to refer to these sorts of things, please let me know.
but in socionics terms, all of this sort of stuff i’m refering to would be within the domain of extraverted/black intuition (Ne) information, and classifying or positioning someone within those frameworks would be introverted/white logic (Ti). you can read more about these “elements” here. homestuck has familiarized you with notionally irreducible aspects present in everything, dual yin/yang forces permeating everything, so if you understand all of the sorts of abstract classification systems in homestuck you’re basically already 75% the way to fundamentally grasping model A socionics. it is way more structured and stable than the typologies in homestuck though. but you will perceive there to be similarities in the need for archetypal/thematic sense skills.
if you want to learn socionics, for the love of god start here. there are many weak places out there to start out with that will set you up with a faulty and loose understanding, but school of classic socionics is the best foundation to start with. i saw it emerge from the beginning when it was founded, having been part of it since late 2022.
this is an introduction to SCS, what makes it special, and and how differs from other socionics schools. i find SCS to be the most comprehensive, and i’m active within a side discord to discuss theoretical constructs related to model A. i’ve helped find the links between some concepts in model A that weren’t fully substantiated in augusta’s original works, specifically the importance of the asking/declaring reinin dichotomy, how it fits with regard to the rest of model A’s structure, how it underpins the ring of social benefit (which was missing from her writing), and how it can be used as an information element charge just like positivist/negativist can (i.e. all process types have positive asking Ne (+Ne? and all result types have negative declaring Ne (-Ne!). i’m still working on transfering my essay on that to a document.)
i know the intricacies of this system like the back of my hand but yeah i never post much about it because it’s so niche and i dont know who would even want to hear it besides people who i already know would, like in that small specialist group, but they actually been quiet lately even though i’m still active in there sharing things i realized. and i even feel alienated in most casual socionics discussion groups, especially larger ones. i need people who can match my freak about it.
because i have nowhere else to talk about it i’m starting to feel guilty yapping my friends’ ears off about it when i deconstruct everything i come across in light of this system like i’m being annoying about it. but at the same time when im doing that i am constantly reinforcing the merit of the system in successfully finding some dynamic i see in the drama of real life in connection to some idea from the model. i can immediately lock on to the core principles that are at play in any situation, validating the patterns that have been observed by others. by what measure do these people / characters / groups relate to each other, how do we define the specific “feeling” of the energy between them together? i could do a socionical analysis for anything that captures my interest.
it’s also been incredible for self-insight. i can now accurately explain my thought process.
i can change my perspective of the scope of my thinking on different levels. depending on the urgency of a situation developing around me and my respect for other people’s time, i can expand my reasoning from splitting hairs at the smallest pedantic specifics—although i prefer not to, to the most holistic global hard binary 0/1 (no/yes) judgment.
it’s fractal-like; once i know how to classify and compare the features of something to another, everything else with overlapping logical relationships instantly rises up in the same way, which of course is what leads to me having insights that reinforce the potential inherent in the things around me, because my way of thinking is isomorphic. i also experience strong animated mental imagery accompanying my conscious thoughts about these systems, minimalist shapes or lines of the barebones motion happening. i feel like my mental activity and what i actually write down is trying to capture what im seeing in my head.
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i prefer to be brief, but that requires sharing contexts with someone. once i've established similar ways of talking about the same thing with someone so that we’re on the same page, our messages basically become exchanging code words with each other. all of the potential densely packed into these efficient little terms.
the effect is that i am reducing the amount of time and energy i have to spend trying to explain things to someone. i just want to communicate easily and be understood by the people i talk to so that i can enjoy my time with them. this is why i felt like such a long, clarifying, in-depth post was necessary, which would rip the bandaid off and pull it all up at once, instead of on a private, individual-to-individual level. i had to have it engraved somewhere i could just point someone to instead of repeatedly having to explain the same thing over and over cause that’s a waste of time and energy.
in fact, that revelation i had about myself just now can be explained by model A too! my own type is LIl and this type’s id block houses the information elements +Te! → +Ni?, which aushra describes as “The quality of deeds and actions and the efficient expenditure of energy in work—only performing for what is truly necessary—leads to peace of mind in the future.”
or, for example, coming at it from another angle, here is an older post i made before i was even aware of socionics. i was already talking about my experiences, patterns of thinking and self-awareness in a way that was so on the nose for a socionics analysis.
is that not the clearest example of phase 2’s sensitivity (for me it is information about sensorics)? -Fi? → -Se! superego block, anyone? and did you see how much i gave attention to the time i spend working; +Te! -> +Ni? id block? [information element descriptions here]. you could also derive the progression of the information metabolism stages in my own psyche (phase 1: Ethics -> phase 2: Sensorics -> phase 3: Logic -> phase 4: Intuition).
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(from The Characteristic of SLI)
so through socionics it’s like i can find an explanation for just about everything i observe in others and myself just because i’ve extrapolated the logical relationships from that system and can isomorphically apply them to anything.
and i don't say that lightly! i'm not saying anything in this post lightly. like i have a degree in biopsychology from an honors college (ncf; yes, the liberal arts college desantis got his soulless hands on because it was “too woke"). having taken courses in statistics, research methods in psychology, and others, i know all about proper research design (and designing them myself). and of course i ended my four years there with my undergrad thesis, examining temporoparietal synchrony in autistic individuals when working alone and together, where for months on end i was doing nothing but reading and interpreting the validity of research papers. i even deconstructed poorly designed psychological constructs commonly used in autistic research in mine.
i also took personality psychology as a course during my time there. i got a birds eye view of most of the popular paradigms and still felt like i was more knowledgeable in the discourse behind some of the topics we glossed over since the course material was more of a broad comprehensive thing than an in-depth one for anything specific. in totality, all of the models i read about in relation to each other seemed so fragmented into different cuts and perspectives in trying to understand and find the patterns in people’s mental life. and yet none of the models i read about hold as as great of an everyday explanatory power as socionics does for explaining ways of thinking, people's proneness to certain tendencies, and the energetic tension that happens between certain people.
people can say otherwise that it’s pseudoscience. even though there are numerous studies built on real-world observations, the large-scale statistical data like from victor talanov. there's school of system socionics who emphasize its practice. it would be impossible to add all the evidence i can to support my claims to this post but you can see for youself - there are still countless new articles being published from different authors. regardless of that, even if it isn't accepted within the rigors of “scientific canon” i really dont give a fuck since it absolutely does indeed have explanatory and predictive power, and that’s all i care about. i’m confident in this not only through firsthand experience, the ability to frame what i know to be true about the real world within it and have it successfully describe those things, as well as talking to other people about my observations.
additionally, i see people make conclusions about interpersonal dynamics where they unknowingly repeat information that can be derived from socionics concepts.
something i noticed a LOT and ive repeatedly thought about and come to the same conclusion multiple times is that i think i naturally might "embody" the most optimal ways of interacting with other people for myself. it gives me insight into the nature of the personal relationships that i already procure in my life, but it’s not really a self-fulfilling prophecy because i dont use socionics to prescribe who i "should" be friends with. that's silly. thats a silly thing to do because people do have idiosyncracies that don't perfectly align with a system if you rigidly adhere to it, so you're bound to be set up for failure if you try to force that and you will be disappointed. it's better to let these feelings happen naturally without pretense, because that's where the observations that fuel my insight comes from.
i have a subconscious sense for who i will be able to get along with in the long term almost instantly without the need for any kind of system, just based on their actual mannerisms and “vibes”, but that alone is not good enough for me, i want to know why. socionics just gives me tools to figure out why so that i know what im dealing with and its not just ineffable energies, but i can put a name to those energies to think and talk about it and compare and discover patterns in what ive curated in my inner circle over my life, what i feel drawn towards. and indeed i do find plentiful amounts of recurring patterns. the simplification and abstraction is not to destroy the soul and expression of individuals but to wrap my head around them and understand them deeper in relation to everything else, including myself.
i am aware it can be confusing for many people which turns them away. but if theres any questions you have or youre confused about any concepts i can answer them
but yeah um, i’ve really only scratched the surface of this cognitive cybernetic tool. if you are genuinely interested in what i have to say and want me to talk more about it please openly tell me since i’m not a mind reader! i assume disinterest by default.
anyway if you got to this point thanks for reading. i wanted to just put it out there for context about any posts i make in the future. just stating my honest thoughts and whats been occupying my mind for the past two years.
be on the lookout for the john and aradia analysis soon where i’ll use it in practice to deconstruct some things about those characters. and if you’re coming to this post from that analysis after ive posted it, i’m sorry this post is so long in the middle of an already long-ish post. i just thought the context was important.
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xoxoavenger · 5 months
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! 🎁🎈🎂🎉🎊 I loved Try Me (Matt Murdock x Reader), I was wondering if maybe you could write a sequel? I could see an intimate moment where she’s feeding him the soup she made and taking care of him, potentially with the hilarity of Foggy finding out he’s got two super powered friends
thanks! hopefully this is what you were looking for, I had fun writing it!
Ask Me
pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader
word count: 1099
warnings: none
part 1
birthday masterlist main masterlist
"I can't believe you're Daredevil." She mutters as she ladles the soup into a bowl. She made a broth more than a soup because she didn't have time to cut the vegetables, but it'll do the trick. She also didn't know the extent of Matt's injures, and she didn't want him to have trouble eating anything. "Does Foggy know?" She asks as she brings the bowl over to the couch.
"Yes," Matt chuckles, but his teeth are clenched in pain. She kneels next to the couch and she is still shocked by his injuries, even though she's already seen them. He has a large cut across his chest, and resists the urge to touch it.
She watches Matt try to sit up, but he's clearly in too much pain. She puts the soup on the ground in favor of helping him up. She tries not to let her pulse rush as she touches his bare back and bicep, pulling him up gently until he is sitting up enough to eat.
"Here, let's get you some food." She tells him, spooning some broth and then carefully helping him eat some. It's so quiet in the apartment that she swears she can feel her own heart race as she feeds Matt. They're close, and her brain is reeling with the thought of how Matt, and blind man, can be a vigilante.
"I think that's good." Matt groans when they're about three fourths of the way though the bowl. She gets up to put the bowl away and grab a warm, wet cloth.
"How are you Daredevil?" She asks, sinking down to her knees again and beginning to wipe off the blood around his wounds.
"Are you asking if I'm actually blind?" He questions, but he's smiling, so she can tell he's joking. 
"I know you're blind, Matt." She says with a small sigh. She's seen his unfocused eyes too many times to think he was just preteneding. 
"All my other senses are heightened." He tells her, tensing as she begins to wipe a big, deep cut. She hopes that soon her healing food will kick in; she's never seen it help on this level, and she's worried it won't work as well as Matt is hoping it will.
"So, you can hear really good?" She asks, wondering what exactly that means. He shrugs, smiling a little bit.
"And smell, and taste. And feel. I have to have specific sheets because of how sensitive my skin is." He's feeling better, she can tell, and it makes her smile.
"How did figure it out?" She asks quietly. She's had these powers ever since she can remember, but she'd never told anyone and no one ever figured it out either. This is a first, sharing a gift, and she can't help but feel a little scared.
"That your food could heal people?" He clarifies. She almost nods, but then catches herself.
"Yeah," She confirms.
"You asked me what happened again the day after you first gave me the croissant, as if you knew it should have gone away. And I usually have accelerated healing anyway, but not that fast. You wouldn't have known that." He's starting to relax more, and she knows he needs to get some sleep soon.
"You wanna move to the bed?" She asks, putting the cloth down and preparing to move him. Before he can answer, Foggy comes stomping back in.
"So both of my best friends are super heroes?" He yells, throwing the drugstore bag in their general direction. Y/N's eyes widen as Foggy walks to them.
"I am not a super hero." Y/N clarifies.
"I wouldn't classify myself as one either." Matt interjects, a hand out to stop Foggy's rant. It does nothing, and Foggy soldiers on.
"You can feel, hear, and smell things no human should be able to feel, hear, and smell." He points at Matt, who raises an eyebrow. "And you can heal people with your food, that you've been feeding me for months!" Foggy moves to Y/N, and she just shakes her head.
"Have you ever wondered why you haven't gotten sick in months?" She asks, and he just scoffs.
"That proves my point!" He screams. Y/N and Matt shake their heads, Matt smirking.
"Foggy, neither of us are superheroes. You don't need to freak out." Matt tries to calm him down, but Foggy just gets more worked up.
"Are you kidding me? You could be Avengers for all I know!" Foggy grabs the bag that he had thrown and begins to get some of the bandages and Neosporin out to help Matt.
"Oh my God," Y/N groans, rolling her eyes and putting her head in her hands. Honestly, Foggy freaking out was kinda funny, but she isn't sure if he's being serious now or not.
"We're not Avengers, Foggy." Matt chuckles, and Y/N begins to put bandages over Matt's injuries.
"Well I just don't know that, do I?" Foggy looks over at the pot on the stove, walking over there quickly. "What did you make?"
"Just a quick broth. I wanted to get Matt something quick." She tells Foggy as she begins to focus on the task at hand.
"Is this why I haven't gotten paper cuts?" Foggy asks as he ladles a little soup out for himself.
"It doesn't make you skin extra strong, Fog." Matt tells him as she continues bandaging him up. Her hands brushing his skin make Matt want to crawl out of his skin in a good way, which didn't make sense until this very moment.
"Did I hurt you?" Y/N asks softly when he tenses.
"No," He mutters, putting a hand on her wrist to stop her. "It's okay, I think the big ones are taken care of." He just wants to lay down and sleep it off now, but he wants to ask her one more thing.
"Let me help you to your room." She offers, and together, with him leaning on her, they make it to Matt's room.
"What are you doing tomorrow?" He asks as they sit down. He can feel the heat begin to flush her cheeks, her heart beginning to race. He's worried still that maybe she feels uncomfortable until she responds.
"Working." She thinks she's funny, and Matt chuckles.
"Do you want to go to Josie's with me tomorrow night?" He asks, and she ducks her head and smiles.
"As long as my boss lets me off on time." She says, nudging him with her shoulder.
"I'll talk to him." He tells her, both of them smiling hard enough that their cheeks hurt.
//
tags: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187  @one-sweet-gubler @thefandomplace  @mcueveryday @icequeen1371 @kenzi-woycehoski @multifandom-boss-bitch
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jelsah27 · 1 year
Text
imposter syndrome talked ab just some forewarning
In History Class
MC: *walks into class with a small smile on their face*
Deuce: Good morning, MC. You seem happy today.
Ace: Yeah what's got you all smiley?
MC: Well, Kalim and Jamil were at my dorm the other day. Kalim really wanted to know about foods from my world and Jamil tagged along for obvious reasons. At on point Kalim wanted to look at my room and he found my snap-out-of-it post-it notes on the wall.
Deuce: Snap-out-of-it post-it notes?
MC: Oh, yeah they help remind me that a lot of the problems I think I have aren't really as problematic as I think. Like "Every personality is a creation of experiences that make you you." or "My friends like me because I am me". You see a while ago I figured out that I have a bit of Imposter Syndrome.
Ace: A bit of what?
MC: Well, it's pretty much I feel like I'm not the person everyone thinks I am. I'm not the gifted child everyone remembers or the smart person everyone seems to think I am. That if I can't hurry up and live up to everyone's expectations that they'll figure out I'm not as great a person they think I am and be disappointed and angry that all I am is an empty shell of who they believed I was and leave. Some times it will also come in the form of believing that my friends only want to be around me out of pity or that if I don't like what they like or want to do the same things as them then they will leave, even if they've reassured me they love me. I think the worst thoughts I ever got from it was when I started to believe that my personality was fake and that I didn't know why I was so different than the kid everyone liked. I started to believe that I had faked my personality from different shows, books, or even people to even have one.
MC: Honestly I didn't even realize it was imposter syndrome till someone else pointed it out to me after telling them this. I genuinely had no clue I was so disgusted with myself till I was talking with them about it and they pointed out that none of what I was saying was true, that everybody knew who I was and loved me as I am. I think I cried when they told me that.
Deuce: Prefect... I had no idea...
MC: It's alright, I've been learning to get better at combating it. Anyway, Kalim asked me about it and I basically told him and Jamil what I just told you. He then asked me what I'm doing to overcome it. So I told him about the main things that have helped. Reminding myself constantly that I am not fake or hiding who I am from people I love and who love me. Whenever I feel negative thoughts try to take over, think about one positive thing that I have done or something someone had said they love about me for every dark thought. If it gets to bad though, go to someone I trust and ask them flat out about those thoughts, it helps a lot. And twice a week I make a post-it or journal about one or two small things. Maybe a compliment someone gave me, or a task I completed. So every day or so since they've-
Jamil: *walks into the room* Prefect, here. I must get to class before Kalim catches something on fire I mean gets into trouble. Have a good day.*hands MC a small note and leaves the classroom*
MC: *smiling contently* It say 'Thank you for helping Kalim study yesterday great sevens know he needed it and your smile is unique'
Deuce: *getting out paper* If it helps you, I'll gladly join in.
Little bit of a rant u can skip I hope you enjoyed the post <3 Y'all I'm sorry I didn't mean to trauma dump but I really like the idea. But the story is true and I did cry (and it was in a restaurant) when my sis told me I was wrong and she knew who I really and she loves me. That our friends won't leave because all humans have opinions and we are allowed to clash. And that my personality isn't fake, that everyone's personality is what they've created themselves and that people add and take away from themselves all the time and work on parts of themselves they don't like to become better. That my brain was just being dark when there was many lights around me, waiting to be recognized. If any of y'all read this its just one side of imposter syndrome, there are a few versions and many levels of severity. I genuinely think you are awesome and perfectly imperfect the way you are!
Anywho thanks for reading!
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sillylittlepluto · 2 months
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About Nevermore (Talking about how I was on this group)
Hello! My sincere apologies if my English is bad and if what I say doesn't make sense. English is not my first language. Whatsoever, i hope you all understand that everything i say here, will only be a rant to how i am feeling right now, sad, scared, uncomfortable and shocked.
I was one of the victims from this case, and I'm sorry if I made a lot of stuff wrong. I didn't knew Red was going to expose me, and all the people who got on this group.
The thing is: We only joined because we wanted to talk about women! Since you guys know, talking about stuff that in the "simping corner" was not much recommended to say.
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(I'm not covering Crimson's name cus..u know)
Anyway,this was "the sun before the storm", and everything we said,was only to talk about Annabel,how we hated Montessor, how we loved Lennabel and Dolly..
After we created the group, we talked about women, and stuff. It was all like a dream, I found my people! I now can talk about them and they would understand me!
I unfortunately do not have more prints,unless some that were us talking with Crimson,
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(This was us talking to him,and speaking about Annabel)
And, by my experience,when I was talking to them, crimson went too far once, and it was when I got a bit uncomfortable with the whole situation.
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(also,thanks to Laci, I got those prints, showing a bit on how I was when this happened.)
I was even thinking about getting out of the group, but.. If i did, I wouldn't have people to chat randomly about characters anymore, people who wouldn't judge if I said about how pretty Annabel was or stuff like that..
Now, before I say more stuff about it, I have to apologize again, sorry for everything I did, I understand I am the victim, although I have guilt about not thinking twice, about not pushing myself to stay on the group, even though I was a bit uncomfortable with the sexual stuff..
I, am now 13. Finally able to fit on the discord terms, I've been in discord since 2020, and I know about all the rules,the terms and how horrible this place is. In 2021/2022 I stopped using discord,so I came back in 2023/2024 because of Nevermore. Believing that I could find a safe server and not be judged about anything.
Which looks like it happened. I can't believe Red did this,and I got both shocked and sad when I heard that Flynn was agreeing with her.
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Crimson teach me some stuff,that I didn't even know it was tracing, but this is clearly not the bad part of it, the bad part, is that I trusted him, I liked his drawings....
I am not taking this nevermore break because I don't think I..Can? I got too emotionally dependant on this webcomic and I love it dearly. It got me into literature, history, geography and it even made me get interested about stuff that my mom liked...
This webcomic gave me some happiness when I got sad about my favorite tv series like Amphibia and The owl house, fandoms whom got totally forgotten..
Once again,I hope RnF realize that they did was wrong, and that the apology didn't solve anything. People only got even more mad and angry at them..
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