#even though I didn't eat much today
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Incoming vent rant (needed to air out my anger after the past 3 days, considering my pain level I'd say is at a 6 out of 10, and the more constant pain I'm in, the more pissed I get lol...)
This month, let alone this week, has not been kind to me... and it's only Tuesday, THE THIRD ">_> When this month starts off shitty due to something personal related (not health related thankfully, (although it IS insurance related is all I'll say, it could definitely be worse though, but...) it's actually put me in a pretty pissy mood these past few days, which I'm praying Friday it's taken care of, so hoping Friday goes over well) Monday, my "rest up before a long ass week" day, I had to take my car in to get an oil change as my light just lit up, went to a "Take 5" and after waiting 30 minutes, being inside the place that does it, with my car off cause no idea when they would actually just "start" doing stuff... "Oh, we don't have the right thing to change your oil, so we can't do it." THANKS FOR SAYING IT AFTER MAKING ME WAIT (instead of checking real quick if it can be done... then having me wait for everyone that came before me go... although I think they were understaffed too) Then after, I go to a local donut place, that I have been trying to get a coconut flavor for, for WEEKS, even went the day before and they said "oh we will have it tomorrow!" and they still didn't have it... (they have said this 3 times now at this point) pretty much making my outing a complete waste of time. Today being Tuesday? I've been almost crashed into 6+ times (at least twice my mom yelped at people almost creaming me) The donut place, after saying I'd be back at noon today? "It will be ready at 5-6 today!" How. Many. Times... I drop my mom off for her appointment, which normally this one takes 3 hours due to ALWAYS being behind, get a Slurpee... which tasted like a cheap drink... and then every place I went to, for SOME reason, after lunch? Big lines. I get done with the final place almost, expecting to get back and chill and relax after such a hectic afternoon and week so far... (after picking up a pizza cause a good deal usually happened at a certain pizza place nearby on Tuesdays) Mom texts: Oh, I'm just about done, there was no one in the doctor's office today! So we can keep doing errands once you get back! Me thinking... "Can I get just 5 minutes... FIVE. MINUTES." Dealt with more cars trying to ram me (If you go to Florida, be VERY CAUTIOUS about driving here, the people are lunatic drivers, even more so lately it feels like, literally had to slam on my brakes twice today because people THINK THEY OWN THE ROAD, TO PULL OUT IN FRONT OF ME) After finally eating today (I only had donut holes at this point btw today... it was pizza though, but...)
I think my nerves from all the shit happening these past few days finally caught up to me and I got nauseated for like an hour or so, which going back to the donut place didn't help (it still wasn't ready when I got there, it was almost 6 pm) and after they brought it out... it wasn't even the right donuts. "Wait, OHHHH... you wanted the white, coconut donuts we served like, 3 months ago right? With the coconut drizzle? Oh yeah, no that was discontinued." Me thinking: ... I LITERALLY TOLD YOU THIS EVERY TIME "I want the coconut donut that had white frosting, and coconut flakes drizzled on top of the donut" I got whatever the hell they made, got home, let dogs out (while it pretty much was almost raining) and it took me 2 hours to get a shower and now lay down in bed. ... and it just keeps going tomorrow lol... (Gotta be ready by noon, and will be out probably till 6 or so doing "Military Monthly run" aka pick up medicine, pick up veterinarian stuff for dogs, maybe mail some stuff or do a bank run (these 2 not always), followed by pick up cards and any random stuff at the Base Exchange, then the Commissary for almost 2 hours for the family monthly grocery supply [and this is why I call it "grocery day" as it's an all day affair, that literally is dedicated for goods for the month])
#Again#It's only Tuesday#the THIRD OF SEPTEMBER#And I already want this month to end ahahaha...#I honestly feel like I got nauseated earlier due to maybe an internal panic attack#I was more pissed at the world taking it out on me it felt like#But I got so nauseous after eating#even though I didn't eat much today#And it took like 2 hours for it to finally go away#I'm “fine” just... really needed to vent#Mom: Do you feel like crying?#Me: No I feel like I wanna scream at every person that wants to run me off the road when I have enough to deal with physically and mentally#Note: Do not “scream” at random people IRL or you might regret it
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vent post sorry so sorry i'm having a Bad Time
psyched myself up to buy a new bed but when i announced my plans for the weekend my sibling's like 'are you sure you wanna buy a new bed?' like damn killed the hype immediately. i don't wanna buy a bed i don't wanna go anywhere i'll just keep using the bed that we all cycled through growing up that hasn't been replaced in a decade+ with no bedframe and only one sheet that fits.
"are you sure you want-" I need a new bed. This isn't a matter of wanting. i don't want to think about where to get the best deals or which store has a delivery service or the logistics of hauling that thing into my room or where to get rid of the old one i'm sick of sleeping on a mattress on the floor. don't make this ordeal more complicated than it has to be.
#i'm having a really bad day mentally and when it's this bad i have trouble doing anything because it's all too complicated#even going to the bathroom is too much so i just wont. and as the day goes on i start feeling gross and uncomfortable and hungry#but if i use the bathroom i'll be dirty so i'll have to take a shower and showering is a whole other thing so i'll just not eat or drink so#i don't have to go any more badly than i already do#it's not good and i hate it and this is somehow my fault??? fuck off why don't i crawl into a ditch so you don't have to see it#i skipped work today and i couldn't even go downstairs to get my work phone to inform my boss. even though i have enough time off saved up#it's still a tardy because i didn't report in so i'll get written up#they should fire me. i hate that place.#none of the part time jobs i've applied for have replied#i can't get another job if i lose this one#i cant tell if i'm fr mentally ill or if it's just a product of living in pandemic-genocide-capitalist-global warming times. among others.#not that any of that directly affects me because it's all just me overthinking things and blowing it out of proportion and ruining myself#i'm sorry i cant help#myself or others#talking tag
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i've tried making some sort of post about it since last night probably 4 or 5 times, but I finally got to read through Dungeon Meshi and it's hard to like..... talk about how i feel about it...? not that it is a confusing story!!
I think it is genuinely so good in so many different ways/directions it's kind of hard to pick just one thing and roll with it you know? but it felt life-changing kind of.. in a way that's hard to put into words.. yes i will take things slow, yes i will stop looking at food and rest as rewards and not the bare minimum my body needs for it to carry out the tasks i give it effectively. yes i see the importance of not only doing the things you want to do, and the ways that only doing what you want can come back to bite you in the ass.
so on and so forth, it was just really good.. i think the biggest bittersweet thing i felt by the end of it was a gut punch feeling of wanting to share a meal with someone ಥ_ಥ there is also something very raw in watching someone literally give themselves the strength they need to make it through the day, and it's not even extraordinary it's just.. they take care of themselves. each other (´ . .̫ . `) i hope to find myself in similar company one day.
#was also v emotional by the end of it bc i was up for two days straight and didn't eat#😑 long story. but yeah i feel much better after a big meal n lots of rest. even asked if i could take the day off bc I've been#working too hard#but anyways. u know when u read something that causes some small fundamental shift inside of u? that's how this feels#kind of like how yotsubato is telling u in every chapter that today is always the most enjoyable day and then that becomes a mantra u follow#by the end of it. I'm still sitting on all of this though and thinking about it ૮ – ﻌ–ა i know imma re-read this lol ♡#i would say. this is one of my favorite stories ever#🚶🏾♀️i don't have anything deep to say or spoilers/analysis etc i just think it was a delightful experience and i would recommend it
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I'm so mad I keep forgetting that not eating during the day messes up my sleep schedule
#Most of the time I just don't really feel hunger so if I'm tired and/or there's nothing good to eat#I'll either forget about it or brush it off whenever I think about getting something#But obviously if you don't eat you get tired and eating food replenishes that energy#So since I do consistently eat dinner every day it means that if I haven't had lunch then around the time I want to sleep#I'll have much more energy then I've had for most of the day which makes me unable to#I literally thought multiple times today ''Even though I don't feel hungry I know I should get something bc it'll be helpful''#And then I just didn't#Krafter Talks
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#sorry ranting again but#tw weight#i shouldn't eveb have checked my weight yesterday#i feel so disgusting doing anything today#like everything that i generally donr associate w weight is now reminding me like oh youre doing your daily walking but ur still overweigt#i cannot do anything normally without thinking about it#and its been so long since i hated myself this much this is so annoying#im scared whike filling uni forms because i think oh they will reject you cuz youre fat#even though it has nothing to do w my appearance at all#i didn't feel like cleaning my room today but then i was like oh youre ugly and disgusting at the same time ??? atleast clean your room#im trying to reason w myself but it's just not working#i skipped class today but i have to go tomorrow and im so scared cuz i dont really have friends there#but theres some nice girls i talk to once in a while and they have told me things like 'youre so pretty' 'i love your hair' etc#and i know because i usually do well in mock tests and dont annoy anyone... nobody really hates me#theyre pretty chill#but im still like oh these guys are gonna laugh at me or talk like did you see her today she couldn't have gotten worse#thankfully our break time bw classes is shorter now so i wont be eating during break because i always refuse when someone else offers me#i think the one girl i do share food w and talk to quite often is skipping tomorrow so im extra scared#i dont eveb know anymore#og
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i am once again overwhelmed by love for humans as a whole
#just. fuck#oh my god. oh my god. i love humans. i love humans and i love life and i love that i get to be a part of it#it sucks sometimes and there are awful terrible things that happen and im not going to deny any of that#but just. im thinking about all the strangers who've ever been kind to me and im overwhelmed with love#the girl ive never seen before who grabbed me to dance during my last homecoming with the biggest smile on her face#the kid who taught me where to dig for clay in a lake when i was 8 who told me he loved me when i said i had to leave#the stranger at the last show i went to who held onto my shoulder as we jumped and yelled and laughed together#the little girl who came into my workplace today that told me with the most starstruck face that she liked my hair#the older lady who helped me pick up all my things after i dropped them in a park after an incredibly hard day#the trio of teenage boys who played with me on the playground for hours one evening when i was 6 because they saw i was lonely#the random man who bought me the snack i tried to put it back when i realized i didn't have enough money for it#the teen girls who chased off some guy who tried to kick my head in and then ran back to hold my hands and make sure i was okay#fuck. i love people. i love human beings so much.#i love being alive and im so so glad i made it past middle school even though i thought i wouldn't#i get to look at sunsets and sunrises and i get to pet dogs and i get to wade around in lakes and pools and ponds#i get to hug and hold people and i get to laugh so hard my stomach hurts and i get to yell and scream in happiness#i get to eat good food and listen to good music and i get to run and jump and dance#i get to see beautiful things and i get to watch strangers live their lives around me and i get to be a part of it all#it's amazing!!! fuck!!!! i get to be a part of it all!!!!!#i love being alive and i love that ive made it this far#i don't know what the future holds but im just so glad im even here at all#sorry about the long sappy ramble and i know this probably looks weird but i could not care less#im just overwhelmed with love for everything
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i had like 5 plates of food at a buffet today and then took a 3 hour nap and i literally woke up not knowing who tf i was was lol
#words#personal#lmao#i got home and pretty much passed out and 3 hrs later im like#'oh shit i still have things to do today'#also the food was good but the gratuity fee i paid made it overpriced as fuck#i literally didn't even think about that but i prob should've just gotten a regular meal instead lol#though i guess i made it worth it by eating a ton of food#i had eggs and breakfast potatoes and salad and bacon and sushi and paella and 2 crab legs and steak and green beans and mussels#oh and a cheese blintz#and a slice of mini pizza
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i’ve been on the job search for literally one day and i already want to burn shit. love this for me
#why oh why didn't i take one more GIS class in college#but also though all of the jobs in fields adjacent to mine (there are too few jobs in my field so i'm barely even looking) work for#the government or higher ed institutions and that's bullshit#so here i am consdering looking into a trade so i don't lose my mind#would i like electrical? maybe. would i be good at it? maybe. worth a shot i guess#side note that i have been having so much executive dysfunction that i have barely eaten today but can't financially justify eating out#cooking takes too many spoons
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I had many things that I had considered doing today, most of it just being some chill video gaming, if I'm really honest. And I did get to do some. Then I started feeling sick.
I thought to myself, oh well, that silly motion sickness again, guess I'mma take a break 🙃
Turns out, wasn't just the motion sickness, though.
Spent the next hour and a half using my toilet as an echo chamber for creative voice lessons. Switched it up every now and again, just to keep things interesting, but the sound was just too good, so I kept coming back for encores. Realised the toilet might be cursed because I could not move away from it for more than a few meters or a few minutes before having to return.
Messaged my mom, who kindly brought me something to help break the curse.
Then spent the next three hours in a curled up position on my bedroom floor, on the carpet right next to my bed (bed would have been to soft), head on my fluffiest pillow, and underneath a warm, cuddly blanket, finally getting some rest and sleeping off the exhaustion.
When it all started it was early afternoon. The sun has now set. I am finally sitting back on the couch, munching on some insanely good pretzel sticks and drinking tea. Feel utterly serene. Could murder someone for a good, cheesy pizza right now, but that might be the devil talking.
#just me rambling#guessing that something didn't agree with my stomach but it's not quite clear what it was#it's been like 7 years since I last got sick enough to throw up and I can't say that I missed it much or cared much for it#my throat actually feels sore from all the dry-heaving#I've also been wondering#because I know that it's been debunked that coca cola is any good for you on an upset stomach#but coke + pretzel sticks has been the go-to household remedy ever since I was a child and it has always helped#this time as well#the coke was the first thing I was actually able to retain today#even water came right back out#and the pretzel sticks are perfect now#had some electrolytes too for obvious reasons#kinda want to continue playing my game but I don't dare do it anymore today#not when I know it could potentially trigger motion sickness-related issues on top of an already sensitive stomach#I've had quite enough of being sick today thank you very much#some movie maybe?#some visual novel?#not sure how well reading on my tv screen for an extended period of time is gonna sit with my head (and by extension my stomach) though#continue reading the book I'm in the middle of? maybe#really glad my nose is back to normal#it's fascinating the smells you pick up on that completely churn your stomach when you're sick#half of that shit I can't even smell properly now anymore#god some french fries would be great now too#way back in my teens when I got sick after not eating anything for too long (and then couldn't eat because I was sick - brilliant. 😑)#the thing that got me back to feeling normal ended up being french fries#the electrolytes concoction had a good amount of salt in it but I feel like my body is still demanding more#I don't trust myself with anything but pretzel sticks right now though#on any other day I might have caved and ordered that pizza#I need to stop talking about pizza for my own sanity xD#on another note: there is still a mosquito in here with me 🧐
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When Sophia rang this morning, she said she'd slept on the couch, still in yesterday's clothes, had knocked over the coffee and it had spilt everywhere and everything was wet and she couldn't even light her cigarette and
#normal people problems#also my work emails had a fit today and i clearly need to resign and i hate everything and#i could tell Sophia was in a bad mood when she rang at 5 minutes to 5pm and yet that's when i told her I'm leaving early next Monday#and that i have an exam on the 8th#she's like 'what exam?????' Jesus Christ Sophia i already mentioned it to you#it's just so hard to train the new girl#sure I'm being a baby about it all but it's just so hard and i hate it and Sophia rings every two seconds telling me to do something else#so I'm doing like several things at once and the new girl is obviously confused and i just#Jenette and Colleen did so much like not huge things just a whole lot of little things and i can barely keep up with everything#and then to show a new girl how to do things#like it takes double the amount of time to explain#aw man i didn't even put the petty cash money away#or send out the correspondence#everything's so much up to shit#i just#i feel so awful though because I'm definitely not doing enough and i know Sophia needs me to do more (invoices) but i just#I'm so dumb and everything is a mess and#i barely take lunch breaks like just eat kitkats and freddos and juice throughout the day that's it#also he barely talks to me in the office and i have to be around a married couple but at least i get to banter with Tony sometimes#Tony come on tell me about your girlfriend and we'll double date I've seen she's the man i know how double dates work#I'm violet as a boy and he is eunice and Tony is Channing Tatum and his girlfriend is Olivia and#i see nothing wrong with this
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hehehehe ever since i decided to drop that stupid class i am fulll of energy i'm so glad i remembered i can do this and didn't go through another semester of constantly avoiding burn out rather than thriving and being able to do many things outside of going to class and doing coursework
#i will have enough energy now to cook clean socialize and spend time alone#comfortably#thats the key.. .#its not all crammed together#although i wish i didn't have to work 8 hours alongside school but...#the job is easy and low effort so i'll let it slide#and i also consider that kind of like me time bc i dont have to talk to anyone and can watch things#but yea i think now i should have enough time to have me time at home and outside#i also just have more energy to push myself sometimes bc i know i dont have a million responsibilities to save energy for instead#so i can use energy on fun things!!! thats how life should always be#work is like 30% of ur time and rest is fun time and like daily essentials like cleaning and eating#🧃#i finished so many things today for school#media shares for 3 weeks and assignment that was overdue and read like 25 pages and did my discussion board mhm#if i didnt drop that class id be exhausted bc even though i finished so much it would only be a dent in what i still have to do#cuz that teacher is wild he assigned 2 papers in march one in april and one in may#nah hell no#and his readings are all scanned and annotated likely by him which makes it so hard to focus for me#esp with scanned things that are not scanned properly#like u can tell someone scanned it i cant read those#maybe its my photography media background#i cant focus#the underlines i just cannot. i cant get past a few words which is why i did none of the readings which is why i didnt do the first paper#i was gonna do it this weekend but i just kept thinking about it and im like wow ireally cannot stand this class it is causing me#so much stress for no good reason bc teacher is shit lecturer classmates dont interact w each other just bleh#and now i get my wednesday back YEEE#only tuesday and thursday i have classes its gonna be so great i'll have so much energy to participate and#PROPERLY be able to read for classes i DO ENJOY#just.. this is gonna be great i think.. also hope dropping it doesn't cost me money but if it does ill pay bc fuck this class#now i dont have to keep waiting for semester to be over bc its not stressful i can live in the moment finally
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I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I'm so upset I didn't get the offer today that I kinda don't know what to do with myself
#I was so fucking sure it would happen today and I kinda didn't have any other perspective to how my night would end#so now I'm tired but I don't wanna sleep. even though I have absolutely nothing to do#I had nothing to eat all day but THE worst pastéis ever#(my mom bought a new brand of pastel dough and it was horrible)#so I'm also kinda hungry but not really?#I wish I could have something sweet but there's no sweets on the house#I'm also burned out from working on my island#and burned out from apartment hunting online#which are pretty much the only two things I've been doing for the past 15 days#so like. what do I do now.#I can't just be a vegetable until the offer comes#but the more I wait the worst my depression gets#and everything loses meaning and purpose#not to mention my insomnia. ugh.#rambles*
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Henry the Penguin
Henry the Penguin came to California for the summer... not a sentence applicable to most penguins, but he didn't mind the warmer temperatures. :-)
Henry's name had an interesting origin. Apparently his human, as a toddler, sounded like she was saying Henry instead of Penguin. In any case, 35 years later Henry was his name, and his leather beak and feet were starting to have some serious issues. Here are his diagnosis photos:
His person was initially less concerned about his feet, more concerned with his beak. I very rarely work with leather, but I did know I had a good piece that should work for Henry, and so we agreed on a treatment plan and he came to the hospital.
Here is the leather I used to reconstruct his beak:
His person also opted to recover his feet. They weren't originally leather, but she did choose a white faux suede for them. When she chose it she said "Fancy, fancy, Mr. Henry-the-Penguin". :-)
Here's Henry the Penguin all better (he arrived with the blue ribbon):
Looking as spiffy as if he was really wearing a tuxedo!
When he got home, Henry's person wrote:
Henry got home safely today. He looks amazing and is getting lots of hugs to aid in his recovery, as prescribed. He would have written you himself, but he is jet-lagged. He might write you once he has recovered from the flights and the surgery.
Thank you so much for repairing my little guy!
And sure enough, the next day Henry himself emailed:
Dear Miss BetH,
THank you for taking sucH good care of me for tHe past few weeks. I was scared to fly because I Haven't flown in over 10 years. And I was scared of surgery even tHougH I Hadn't been able to eat witH my broken beak. THank you for fixing me. I feel mucH better now. My mom's friend says I look "spiffy." I prefer "Handsome," but "spiffy" will do.
THank you again.
Love,
Henry
(Apologies for Henry's punctuation--not having gone past first grade, he thinks that the letter "H" must always be capitalized since it's the first letter of his name. Efforts to break this habit have proved futile.) Henry's person
#stuffed animal repair#stuffed animals#stuffed animal#stuffed animal hospital#penguin#penguins#stuffed penguin#toy penguin
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࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 08:25 P.M 」
tw: pregnancy. overall, just some domestic dad-to-be gojo trying to show how much he loves you even with how your body changes and all <3 based on a request!
a part of gojo's love entries
don’t think that satoru hasn’t noticed how you linger in front of the mirror these days, touching your body all over—particularly your baby bump. seeing your face twist into a sad frown dampens his spirits too.
on the other hand, you understand that it’s a natural process, but you have never gained this much weight before, and despite already having your husband reassure you before, you still feel somewhat meh about yourself.
“how’s my favorite girl and little rascal doing today?” he flopped down on the bed beside you as soon as he returned from school, caressing your belly. “ready to come out yet?”
you throw him an unamused look. “no, satoru. and don’t make it sound so effortless. i’m the one pushing him out.”
“ahh, but i can’t wait though~”
his palpable excitement actually made you smile as you placed your hand over his. but then your smile fell a bit and he was quick to notice it.
“what’s on your mind?” he asked then. “talk to me, hmm?”
“no… it’s nothing.” you looked away, a bit ashamed. if satoru says he’s not bothered by your figure, you really shouldn’t be thinking about this any longer. you didn't want to make him worry… but it really wasn't easy to let it go.
“hmm, my baby mama can’t be sad,” your husband pouted, and suddenly he pulled you closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulder. “she’s the cutest when she smiles.”
you looked up to him, feeling the security in his arms and yet still a hint of uncertainty in your voice. “am i just cute… to you?”
you wanted to be beautiful too. like how he used to sing you praises during your school days.
satoru grinned. and it’s the kind of toothy grin that makes your heart soar.
“no. you’re also pretty.” he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “and you’re smart, kind, nags a lot, gets pouty easily… and you're sweet like a dango, makes me want to gobble you up.”
“so now i’m a dango?” you nestled your head against his broad chest, feeling your face start to heat up, and a smile beginning to curve your lips. stupid satoru. he said all of them so easily it was making you giddy and felt silly for doubting him at all.
“just because our baby is going to be a mochi. and look, you’re so close to carrying him to full-term,” he rubbed your swollen tummy again, this time with a more sincere smile. “i love you the most for it.”
your eyes took a shine, processing his words, and you could’ve sworn that right now, nothing could’ve shaken your feelings for your silly husband.
suddenly your baby kicked you hard as if to reprimand you too for your insecurities, and you winced.
“hurts?” satoru questioned, slightly concerned when you nodded. “wait i’ll tell him off.”
he cleared his throat and began making circular motions on your abdomen, as if to summon him.
“yo, brat. you can’t kick your mama like that too often these days. you’re accumulating karma and she counts it. when you come out, she’ll forbid you from eating our favorite mochis and—”
“satoru!!”
and then the two of you just burst into giggles, and once again, you utterly and thoroughly fell in love with him. for always making you feel safe... and loved.
“you know, satoru...” this time it was you who hugged him, breathing in his scent for comfort. now you were totally worry-free, the softest of smile on your face. “i’m really grateful that... we found each other.”
at your heartfelt confession, satoru felt his chest tighten with warmth and his cheeks flush. he is so blushing and he tries covering it with a chuckle. and the words lingering at the tip of his tongue were—
“heh, aren’t you glad you married me?”
yeah... i’m so glad that it’s you too.
#𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑖𝑒𝑠#gojo satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen#jjk x reader#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#jjk imagines#jjk drabbles#jujutsu kaisen x reader#dad!gojo#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru fluff#jjk fluff#gojo x you#satoru gojo fluff#jjk x reader fluff
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Heyyyyyy!!! So I’m absolutely freaking OBSESSED with your bartender AU… like I’m just eating up everything that’s coming out with itttttt!!! I love your writing so much and I’m honestly so hooked whenever I read your stuff!
I was wondering if I could request something with bartender Simon Riley and it’s where he finds reader crying in the backroom/pantry/stock area of the pub cause it’s been one of *THOSE* days. So he finds her there and sits with her and she just absolutely melts onto him and it’s all very sweet… sorry if this too much info for a request! Again, I absolutely love your work! 🤭🫶
Combining this with a few other asks about reader and Simon having a tender moment + reader having monetary issues
You're rather quiet today - you'd come in and spoken your hello's to everyone, then promptly got to work. Starting on rolling silverware in the far booth, then fifo-ing the pantry and fridge upstairs, then cleaning the bathrooms (you hated cleaning them, which is how Simon first figured out something was wrong). Didn't even reach for the French toast sticks Soap had put under the warmer for everyone. You have an expression plastered to your face as you work. Something between frustration and worry, and it has Price, Johnny, and Simon all on edge. Still, they let you be; it was well-known by now that personal space is sacred to them, and Simon trusts that you'll speak up if you need a shoulder.
Gaz couldn't stay to help drag the kegs upstairs today - something about the Brewmaster being on a trip to Austria, so he was left to watch the brewery. Simon doesn't mind that much. He can easily lift two kegs onto his shoulders and trudge them upstairs to the fridge. He grunts as he moves past the office, careful not to bang the kegs on any corners. Adjusting his grip, he pushes his way into the walk-in fridge-
He sees you, facing the boxes of fruits. "Oh- sorry, luv-" he sets the first keg down, then the second. "Y' need me to reach somethin'?"
You shake your head. Simon furrows his brow, noticing how tense your shoulders are. You're just... standing there. Not reaching for anything, not even looking at the shelves. Just staring at your feet.
You're crying.
All of his duties as a bartender fall to the side. He lets the door fall shut behind him. "Hey, hey... what's goin' on?" he places a hand on your upper back, rubbing his thumb back and forth as he waits for you to turn around. His mind is racing a million miles a minute, trying to imagine what could possibly have you this upset - and what he can do to fix it.
You shake your head, sniffling and trying to control your breaths. "It's nothing, I'm just - just a weird day, y'know? Not sure why I'm crying." You turn to look up at him and muster a smile, though your teary eyes say something else entirely.
He sighs. "C'mon, what's wrong?" He kneels down so that he's looking up at you - something his mom used to do when he felt too overwhelmed to tell her why he was crying. He can't explain it, but it made it easier to let go of whatever was troubling him.
Your lip wobbles, and you cave. Simon holds himself steady as you hug him, his burly arms wrapping around the small of your back. You sob, chest shaking with sharp inhales and sniffles, and Simon closes his eyes and sighs. This is what he wants: to be the lighthouse in your storm, to hold you steady while you began to slip. More than anything, though, he doesn't want you to cry.
He does what he remembers his mother doing. He gently shushes you, heart aching as you fist the back of his shirt and try to compose yourself. He uses one hand to drag an upturned crate behind you, slowly lowering you to sit down. The last thing he wants to do is let go of you, but he needs you to talk. He grabs a bucket and pulls it under him, planting himself in front of you and looking into your eyes.
"Talk to me. What's on your mind, hmm?"
You explain it all through sniffles and sobs: you're mom's recently called and said she wants to visit you. You're embarrassed with yourself, still living in that shitty apartment with your shitty roommate, a marketing degree hanging on your wall that you've never used (believe me, you've tried, but places really aren't hiring). Money isn't tight, but you're not saving - just making enough to exist and occasionally buy the name brand instead of the generic. One thing spirals into another, and you find yourself despairing about how you're never going to be anyone important, you're never going to make a difference - you're not even a cog in the machine. You're just the space between it.
God knows Simon's felt it, too.
"See?" you laugh at yourself, wiping a tear away with your fingers. "It's stupid. I do this every once in a while, right before my period."
Simon grunts. Good to know he can start buying chocolate and leaving it stuffed in the server cabinet. "It's not stupid, luv. You're worried - it's alright."
You cover your eyes, fighting the urge to start sobbing again. "I just... I feel like I'm not doing what I should be doing. I'm not getting anywhere. I thought I was going to be in a corporate office by now, living in a penthouse apartment and travelling wherever I want."
Simon scoffs. "Well, that's just unrealistic."
You huff. "I know. But that's success, isn't it?"
"Is that what you want?"
"Success? I mean... doesn't everyone?"
"Lemme put it this way." Simo leans his elbows on his knees, and you find yourself being drawn in to meet him, arms folded over your stomach.
"I assume you're happy 'ere." he says, looking you in the eyes. "What, with making your silly li'l drinks and swappin' all my shit for somethin' pink, 'n whatnot."
You giggle. "Yeah, I am..."
"Do you want to be happy?"
"I..." you pause. "Yeah, I do. Of course."
"Then aren't you already successful?" he asks. "You're not drownin' in bills - I hope you'd tell me if ya were - and you're happy. Is workin' a stupid corporate job n' livin' above the clouds gonna make it better?"
You looked at his hands, turning over the words in your head. It was stupid. It was the stupidest thing you've ever been worried about - he was completely right. You're happy here. You've never been happier - not in college, not at your data entry job, and definitely not in high school. You laugh, looking down at your own hands. "Yeah, you're... you're right. God, that was stupid-"
"Oi." he says sternly, slapping your knee - you froze, attention fully directed to him now.
"'S not stupid." he says, pointing a finger at you. "Just have to work through this sort of shit."
You watch as he stands and stretches his arms over his head, joints popping and cracking. "Should leave, 'fore we start heating up the fridge." he opens the door, and you quickly stand and follow him on the way out.
"What about the kegs?" you ask, following him down the stairs. "Do you need help bringing those up?"
"Give it time. Let it cool back down in there." He pauses at the bottom of the stairs, hand on the doorknob as he watches you quickly smear away the mascara under your eyes. "You eat anything today?"
You shake your head, fixing the knot on your server apron.
Simon forces his eyes away from your waist. "There's French Toast on the warmer - Soap made it for you. Go take a fifteen."
"But I haven't fini-"
"'M not askin'." he grunts out, pushing through the stairwell door and into the restaurant. He leaves you there to finish collecting yourself, staring after him with a small smile.
If this was you when you had first started working here, you would have thought he was frustrated with you for being so emotional. Now, that's just how you've come to know him. You quickly fix your hair and wipe your face once more, stepping out into the pub. The smell of cinnamon sugar wafts through the air as you make your way towards the kitchen, sparing one last sentimental glance to Simon as he begins setting up his bar.
#was this rushed?#bartender ghost#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley x you#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#simon riley#ghost#ghost x reader#ghost x you#cod#ghost cod#cod x reader#call of duty
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uh this is so random idk if you would write this but i have an idea so you are Lando’s roommate. one day you came home early and you heard a girl moaning from his room and immediately feel jealous but you tried to brush it off. then as the voice is getting more intense eventually you lean beside his door and can’t help to start touching yourself. you didn’t realized that you moaned too loud that makes Lando opened the door. he is shocked ofc but then start teasing you until you pushed him away because you respect his girlfriend. and it turns out… he just watching videos so no girlfriend or anything. later he decided to help you and even makes you squirt then ended up fucking you against the wall
Hi anon, i love this! Hope you enjoy.
Caught
Warnings - heavy smut, porn, kissing, p in v sex, oral f! receiving, fingering, swearing, squirting.
You moved to Monaco a few weeks ago, being a Sky presenter, meaning you always had things to film and create with drivers and teams, so naturally, it made sense to live closer to everyones' base.
You had an amazing relationship with all the drivers, and were close to a few of them as well. Of course there had to be one, who'd caught your eyes on the first day of work 3 years ago.
Lando.
You wouldn't particularly say you were as close with him as you were with Charles and Carlos, but whenever you were together there was an undeniable sexual tension. Though you both would always brush it off and act like nothing was wrong.
Things were pretty normal between the pair of you until you'd arrived in Monaco, with your landlord telling you the apartment you were supposed to rent wasn't available anymore.
Long story short, Lando offered you a place to stay for as long as you needed, and you don't know how, or why, but you accepted.
So here you were two weeks later, coming home at an ungodly hour because your meeting at work ran over.
Lando's probably sleeping, you thought to yourself as it was already 12.35am when you checked the time, choosing not to make something to eat in fear of disturbing him at this time of the night.
As you walked quietly to your room, which was next to his, you heard something which froze your body still.
At first you thought your ears were deceiving you. It surely couldn't have been.
But as you willed your body to walk closer to Lando's room, you were done for.
It was moaning. Loud, sexy, goosebumps-raising moaning. There was a girl, and a guy, whom could have only been Lando.
To be honest, you had thought he'd bring random girls home much sooner than today. But still, the thought of him literally fucking a girl on the other side of the wall had your body quivering. In shock and need.
You knew you should retreat to your room, put your headphones on, and block out all of the noise. But once again, your body deceived you, wetness already pooling at your core.
You could hear them both panting through harsh breaths, moaning as if their life depended on it, and swearing as though they didn't care if the neighbors heard them, let alone you.
Somewhere at the back of your heart, it hurt, to think it was Lando with another girl, not you, but in the moment, all you could think about was how his naked body would slide against yours. You imagined his girth to be thick and long, just big enough to fit perfectly, having your walls clench around him as he moved in and out of you. You thought about how it would feel to have his lips on yours, roughly kissing you while slipping his tongue into your mouth, and about how he would pinch your nipples between his fingers before sucking on him, having you a moaning mess underneath him.
Without really realizing what you were doing, you found your hand slide into your joggers and slip past your panties, running your fingers through your folds as you collected you wet and sticky juices.
The noises coming from Lando's room were obscene to say the least. Man must know what he's doing, you thought, as you imagined it was his fingers that were dancing on your folds.
You bit your lip, trying to suppress your own moans as you pushed two fingers through your core, shutting your eyes, mind trained on listening to your surroundings.
You could hear from the girls' whimpers that she was close, saying incoherent words through gritted teeth, and when she finally hit her high, Lando must have emptied himself in her by the sounds he was making, moaning into the oblivion.
Lando's moan alone had sent you spiraling, gushing cum all over your fingers as you let out your own soft whimpers and moans, not realizing that you were actually louder than you thought.
And just as your mind caught up with just how loud you were, Lando's room door suddenly flew open, the both of you staring at each other in shock.
He was stood there wearing nothing but his boxers, hair disheveled and cheek flushed.
You quickly removed your hand form your joggers, holding both your arms behind your back as if you were hiding something, as you looked at him not knowing how to get yourself out of this situation. You wanted the ground to swallow you up.
You didn't miss how Lando's eyes darkened when you did that, and with the way your body was still riding down from the high, you held in soft quivers, opening your mouth a few times to say something though nothing came out.
''I-I, um, I-'' you started but Lando cut you off.
''What are you doing?'' he asked, not sounding one but annoyed or confrontational, but rather teasingly.
You gulped, 'nothing'' you lied, knowing your face would give you away with how hot your cheeks felt.
He smirked, let out a small chuckle. ''Enjoyed that, didn't you?'' he teased again.
''I-, fuck, I didn't mean to eavesdrop'' you mumbled shyly.
He didn't say anything back, just nodded his head with a full on boyish grin.
''I'm gonna go, let you get back to your girl'' you softly said, turning to the direction of your room.
''My-, what? My what?'' Lando asked, clear confusion on his face.
You raised your brow. ''I'll let you get back to your girl'' you said, pointing in the direction of his room, quickly hiding your hand again because your fingers were still glistening with your cum.
Finally it clicked in him. Did you really think he had a girl in there? he thought to himself. And fuck, seeing your wet fingers had him growing hard.
He chuckled again, smirking, before he grabbed your hand and pulled you into his room, shutting the door behind you and placing his hands on both sides of your face, staring into your soul.
You both stayed silent, searching each others face until soft moans filled your ears again. Your eyes grew with shock when you looked past Lando and saw his laptop on the bed, facing you, with two people fucking each other taking up the screen.
Suddenly it dawned on you. He was watching porn, not fucking anyone.
You took a deep breath again when you looked back at Lando. His gaze stern and determined. And then he did the unimaginable. He took you hand in his and brought your fingers up to his mouth, taking them in and sucking harshly on them, swallowing all your juices.
All you could do was watch with your mouth agape, pussy clenching around nothing, desperate to feel him down there.
''It wasn't me babygirl. But it can be if you want it to'' he whispered.
Your breath hitched as his hands landed on your waist and started roaming your body. Instinctively, you wrapped your hands around his neck, and in no time he leaned down to crash his lips to yours.
It was a feverish kiss. Hard and deep but so natural as if you'd kissed a thousand times before. Your mind went back to a few minutes ago to when you were standing outside his closed door, imagining what his lips felt like, and now you could confirm it was a hundred times better, a hundred times sexier, as he slid his tongue into your mouth and memorized every inch of it.
Your hands ran through his hair multiple times before lowering down to roam his back and taunt core muscles, instantly feeling your self aroused again at how hard his muscles were to the touch. It was something you found extremely sexy.
As Lando's own hands continued to dance around your body, he let one slip through your joggers, landing instantly on your core which had you jumping in his hold.
''Gonna take care of you baby'' he said before leaving wet kisses along your neck as his calloused fingers twirled their way through your slick folds.
You moaned out as he began to nip and bite at your neck, no coherent words forming in your mind. All you knew was how good he felt.
''So wet for me, yeah?'' he asked.
''Uh huh'' you replied, shutting your eyes as he let a finger push through you entrance.
You held your breath as he pumped it in and out with ease because of how wet you were.
''Fucking hell, you're so tight'' he said through gritted teeth, using his other hand to get past your tshirt and massage your boobs.
''Been a while'' you said, though immediately regretted it because he did not need to know that.
Suddenly he pulled back and looked at you. ''No'' he states.
''Yes'' you say back.
''How long?''
Does it matter? you thought to yourself.
''I don't know, like 3 month'' you said, not knowing how he would respond.
''Fuck'' he said, before sending you a wink.
''Gonna destroy you'' he said, mumbling it more to himself.
He quickly pulled your tshirt off of you before ripping your bra off, licking his lips at the sight of your perky boobs, nipples already stiff from the cool air.
He took way too long staring at them, and only when you whined did he snap out of his trance and sink down on on his knees, pulling your joggers down at the same time.
You mentally thanked yourself for shaving this morning as you looked down to see Lando licking his lips, before leaning down and licking a strip up your cunt.
You instinctively tried to close you legs around his head through he held them open with his strong hands, and you could do nothing but let your own hands latch onto his precious hair and pull it at.
He was devouring your pussy. Licking, sucking, soothing, nipping, doing everything possible to make you feel every emotion.
''Fuck Lando'' you hissed as he quickly found your clit, biting at it harshly before pulling back and blowing some cool air on it.
He returned his fingers and slid two in, hitching your breath in the process as he let his mouth back on as well, showing you no mercy with a relentless pace.
All you could do was let out a series of moans and bated breaths as you held onto him for dear life, feeling the warmth build up in your stomach.
''Gonna cum Lan'' you said.
He pulled back for a second, ''let me taste you again'' he said, before returning to his activities.
In no time your body was shuddering above hi, your orgasm letting you reach the best high as you gushed your fluids all over his face and fingers.
Lando groaned to himself when he go the first taste of you. Warm and milky with a salty aftertaste that had him grow extremely hard with the mix of hearing and feeling you.
He finally pulled back for a few seconds, letting your body calm down.
He looked at you with soft eyes. ''So fucking delicious baby'' he murmured.
Before you could even respond he was spreading your legs apart again, as far as he could as he ran his tongue through your fold again. Then he used to fingers to pry your pussy open, leaning forward and thrusting his tongue in and out of your core.
Once again you pulled at his hair, body like jelly though he was strong enough to hold you in position as his tongue did wonders to you.
''Hmm, not gonna last long, fuck, Lando please'' you begged.
Suddenly his tongue was being replaced with his fingers again, three this time, which stretched you out, making you gasp for air.
You could feel your next orgasm building up, and just when Lando curled his fingers to hit your g-spot, your body was in a state of bliss. You didn't even know that your cunt was squirting out juices, drenching Lando's face as he smiled wickedly at the mess he's made of you.
''I-fuck Lando!'' you all but screamed, watching as he started licking at every place you gushed over.
You tried to get out of his hold so you could bolt to you room, so embarrassed that you made such a mess on him. ''Lando, let me -I''m so sorry, fuck'' you mumbled.
But he stopped you in your tracks.
''Don't. That was so fucking amazing, fuck I''m so hard'' he said, quickly standing up again and roughly pulling you into a heated kiss, while still holding your body up. You were sure you'd be on the floor by now if he wasn't.
As his face was pressed your yours you could feel the slickness and stickiness rubbing off on to you as he continued to roughly make out with you, sucking on your tongue, probably drawing blood with how intense it was.
When Lando' hands reached down and massaged your ass, giving you a few gentle slaps, you snaked your own hand down and slipped through his joggers, taking his achingly thick girth and pumping him a few times.
When you felt how big he was, you were internally screaming. How the hell is he gonna fit, you thought.
He must have sensed your hesitation because without realizing, your movements with your hands and mouth were faltering.
''Gonna be ok baby, we'll make it work'' he said, pulling back and giving you reassuring eyes.
You just nodded your head and pulled him flush against you again, working on removing his boxers completely.
Once that was done, Lando took himself in his hands and raan his angry dick through your folds multiple times before groaning and pulling back.
''Shit'' he said.
You gave him a confused look, suddenly feeling exposed because why else would he pull away if this was something he didn't want?
''Don't have a fucking condom'' he sighed.
You let out a breath and chuckled. ''Top right drawer of my dresser'' you said confidently.
Lando was quick to shoot out of his room and not a minute later he was walking back in, pumping himself as he ripped the condom wrapper open with his teeth before sliding it on himself. It was tight, anyone would be able to see that with how bigger than average he was. But for now, it would do the job, hopefully.
You watched on in anticipation, really took you time to gawk him up and down and you couldn't help but feel the blood rushing down to your core. He was so fucking hot, and right now you wanted him to ruin you. Use you as he pleased, because god you were putty in his hands right now.
Once he was done putting the condom on, he looked at you and gave you a cheeky smile, as if he was proud of his efforts.
That lasted all but a few seconds because the smile was quickly replaced by a dark lust in his eyes.
As eager as you were to finally have him in ways you'd only dreamed about until now, there was still a part of you that was nervous as hell because, one, he was thick, very thick, and two, this would change everything, and you only hoped it would be for the better.
Lando cupped your face again and gave your forehead a quick peck, as if he could see the wheels turning in your mind.
''Baby'' he whispered, as he lined his dick up at your entrance.
You nodded, and he let himself slide in, all the way in with a single thrust.
You held your breath and shut your eyes, nails digging into his biceps as Lando left little pecks all over your shoulders.
The stretch was blood sore, but as he pulled out and thrust back in again, the pleasure started to take over the pain.
He was going slow, allowing your body to get used to the intrusion as he hiked one of your legs up to his hip and held it in place.
He continued at a slow pace for a few more thrusts before you told him it was okay to go faster.
Now, Lando was relentless, fucking into you continuously as all you did was bite you lower lip as hard as you good, whimpers and broken breaths leaving your mouth.
Lando himself was letting out moans, praising you through gritted teeth.
''Fuck y/n, so fucking tight but taking me so well. Shit. Never felt this good before. Fuck me you're incredible''
You won't lie. Hearing his praise you like that was turning you on even more, though it seemed impossible at this point. But just listening to his hoarse voice had your body trembling in his arms.
''Lando, gonna cum. Fuck'' you breathed out, moans getting louder by the second as he was burying himself deep inside of you.
''Do it'' he mumbled as he caught your left nipple between his teeth and bit down harshly at it.
''Fuck too much'' you squealed. You could feel him smile against you as he soothed his tongue over and blew on it to relieve it.
Lando snaked his hand down to your clit, he had barely touched it and you felt your orgasm over come you, your body shaking violently in his arms as you gushed warm sticky juice all over his cock, having him groaning at ''how fucking sexy'' you are.
He gave you no time to come down from you high, immediately pulling out and turning your body around so your back was to him.
You just about fumbled as you quickly reached your hand down and pulled the condom off, desperate to feel him. His eyes grew wide but all you did was send him a wink as you heard him mutter a few swear words to himself.
You grabbed his dick again and positioned it against you again, before Lando rammed himself into you, the new position having him go even deeper than he was before, making it feel a thousand times better without the condom.
''Fuck me, Lando, fuck'' you moaned, probably the most pornographic noises you'd ever made before.
''I am fucking you baby. And you're taking me so well. Never felt so fucking good before'' he said, nuzzling his nose into your neck.
The pace was raw, unfiltered, as if you were both starved of each other. Lando's hands were surely leaving purple marks on your hips how hard he was pressing down on you, and his cock was surely bruising your insides as he relentlessly thrust in and out of you until you were a moaning mess again, body shuddering in the wake of another orgasm ripping through you.
''Fuck, i'm gonna cum. Where?'' he impatiently asked.
''In me, fuck, please'' you begged.
Within seconds Lando emptied his milky load into you, ropes of it already leaking out and down your thigh as he slowly decreased his pace to ride you both through, both your bodies shaking and overstimulated, high of adrenaline.
Lando leaned forward onto you, squeezing you between his body and the door as your mind tried to catch up to what just happened.
His head was in your neck, and you could feel his curls sticky with sweat as his cool breath left goosebumps on your skin due to the chill of your own sweat.
Neither of you said anything for a while, just basking in each others bodies as you tried to catch your breath.
You could feel Lando softening inside of you as he started leaving wet kisses along your shoulders and back.
His hand found yours, and you both hissed as he slowly pulled out, turning your body back to face him.
He gave you a sheepish smile, cheeks flushed as you bit down on your bottom lip, not knowing what was gonna come next.
Lando tucked a strand of hair behind your ear as he leaned forward to kiss you gently.
''You're so fucking amazing y/n, and I've waited way too fucking long to do this''
''We...waited too long to that'' you said, emphasizing on the ''we''
Suddenly you saw Lando getting to his knees again, and as much as you couldn't wait fro more from him, you were fucking sore.
''Lan, too much'' you whispered, latching onto his hair.
''I know'' he said softly as he let his tongue run through your folds, collecting the mixture of cum before he got back up and pryed your mouth open.
You held your breath as he let the cum drip from his mouth down to yours before giving you a feverish, toe curling kiss, the both of you moaning at the taste of each other.
A few minutes later, and Lando, being the gentleman he is, cleaned you up and pulled you into his bed, your body curling at his side.
''So...goes without saying, but be my girlfriend? I mean, you're already living with me..and I've already made you squirt'' he smirked
You felt your cheeks flush, ''Ug Lando!'' you couldn't help but try to hide your face until he pulled your body to lay on top of his.
''And it was the hottest thing I've ever seen'' he said, smiling genuinely.
''Yes'' you said softly.
''Yeah?'' he asked, eyes growing wide and full of excitement.
''Yeah'' you said, leaning down to kiss him for the hundredth time today, feeling his hands on your ass giving you a few playful smacks.
Hope y’all enjoyed this! Please do leave comments and remember requests are always open xx
#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#f1#f1 smut#lando norris#f1 fic#lando x reader#lando norris smut#lando smut
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