#even tho my maths would have to be a bit wrong for that LOL cause this is clearly 1780s

[stealingpotatoes]

found this design wip from last summer and i've never felt more cheated in my life. why did my past self deprive me of more 18th century padmés by not finishing this

[aiam-maianaise]

Actually I’m gonna go more in depth here. Tags were before I wrote this part.

Even with a basic savings account, the 10million will quickly outsize what the 1k a day is capable of.

1k a day, may as many have said, reach 10million in 27 years.

But the 10million in those 27 years, even from just basic interest, could reach a lot more.

Like this:

I’ll put the interest rate at 3%. Modest conpared to some, but reasonable. It’ll partially account for how interest rates fluctuate form high at 5 to 6% to lows of 1%

Lets say you spend 1 million to get a house, pay off loans, decrease your weekly expenses.

9 million stowed away for interest.

After 1 year, 9 million becomes 9 270 000 (increased by 270 000)

The second year, that becomes 9 548 100 (278 100 increase)

Third year: 9 834 543 (286 443 increase)

Fourth Year: 10 129 579 (295 036.29 increase. Im lazy and ifnrinf the .29 tho)

At least point you have officially recouped the money you spent paying off loans/buying a house or using as simple spending money.

Fifth year: 10 433 466 (303 887 increase)

Sixth Year: 10 746 469 (313 003 increase)

Seventh Year: 11 068 863 (322 394 increase)

Eighth Year: 11 400 928 (332 065)

Ninth Year: 11 742 955 (342 027)

Tenth Year: 12 125 243 (352 288)

Eleventh Year: 12 489 000 (363 757)

And after 11 years the interest alone almost matches the amount you get each year from the 1k a day.

And with each year the bench mark to match the lump sum amount shifts ever farther.

(By 27 years, the lump sum person with a modest interest rate of 3% could potentially have gotten to 20 041 171$. Double the original sum, and double the ‘goal post’)

All this is with a more reserved interest rate. If you had a higher interest rate or were actively investing, this would be rather different. A 5% interest rate would’ve matched and surpassed the rate of 1k a day in the first year at 450 000 a year (not accountjng tax on the interest) even a 4% on 9 million puts you just under at 360 000 per year, meaning the bery next year youve surpassed it.

Additionally, if you are still working a job, you likely have saved additional money due to not having to pay off loans/pay rent or other stuff. Obviously i habe not accounted for that variable.

Any bad marhs is cause a) its 8 am and i havnet slept wheee (also probably did this a harder way than i needed to)

And also maube just me funbling them keys and numbers fjjfjf.

Explain your reasoning plzzz

[rockingtheorange]

Get to know me!

Last song: Enemigos - Sebastian Llosa 🎶

Last film: Ron's gone wrong🤖😆

Currently reading: Wolfs-kinder by Vera Buck (a Christmas present)

Currently watching: Last Twilight (GMMTV series) / Percy Jackson (Disney series)

Currently consuming: pasta :)

Currently craving: corn cocktails I had in Mexico😣

Were you named after anyone?

As far as I know no, in Italian my name means happiness/joy. But the name I chose for myself is named after the ocean ☺ (Talay means ocean/sea in Thai)

When was the last time you cried?

I've been crying at night, before sleeping. I spent a month with my girlfriend and going back to long distance on the other side of the planet hit me harder than a truck🧸

Do you have kids?

Nope, and I don't plan on having them. I'm already struggling managing myself lol

What sports do you play/have you played?

Many when I was little: swimming, tennis, basketball... my parents wanted their children to try many things but I've always been artisty and I stuck to ballet for 5 years, then paused it for a few and came back for another 2/3 years. Then I went for theater ☺🤸

Do you use sarcasm?

Me? No. I don't use sarcasm, I AM sarcasm. But depends on the language I'm speaking honestly (different language - different personality is a real thing lol)

What's the first thing people notice about you?

I've absolutely no idea, but for some reason they always get my vibe wrong. People think I'm cold and quiet but if they earn my trust, I'm very warm and love physical touch

What's your eye color?

Brownish? Idk people have told me they look orange at times (???) or green under direct sunlight 😃 Let's say a light brown? copper maybe???🤭

Scary movies or happy endings?

I like both. Depends on my mood. (One of my fav series is scary with sad ending and all my fav movies are happy endings)

Any talents?

Some would say many, others would say none. I'd say I try my best in everything I do and talent is often a misused concept that only appreciates something you were born with instead of what you've worked hard on (even worse if people call talent the skill you've spend time and tears on)

Where were you born?

Milan 🙂 (fun fact I was kinda ☠ing and doctors had to remove my right kidney cause I had a tumor. All fine ever since tho☺👍)

What are your hobbies?

Many, I mostly make my hobbies collide with my growth in knowledge and working opportunities. Everything from writing, watching videos, playing videogames, listening to music, spending time in nature...

Do you have any pets?

2 meows 🐱🐱

How tall are you?

Shmall! I'm always the smallest one🥲 1,60 m 🤏

Favorite subject in school?

Def art class when I was little, then maybe math cause it has always been very easy for me. (But I used to love a subject depending on the topic and my own willingness to study it lol)

Dream job?

I'm trying to get a job as a 3D animator but it's hard. I just want to work in the cinema industry honestly 🥺 maybe travel from time to time...

A bit late but thank you @meraki-yao for the tag, you're always lovely ☺❤

Tagging someone that I hope hasn't done it yet: @manic-pixie-fever-dream @mylucayathoughts @couldvebeenus @onpurposeilovehimonpurpose

[mingmingfufu]

Lmfao I’ve been too deep into drawing life studies that I sort of embodied AUs or even post Eva stuff. I’m kind of either wanting to write fanfic or draw a mini comic. But here goes this synopsis:

Proposal #1. Shinji is nervous, today he has to go to work alone as Mari takes a sick day off. Shinji is nervous because he’s still not used to his new work environment, the thought of it makes him a bit nauesous. Though, to calm his nerves, Shinji starts to plug in his air pods and listens to classical music.

It was sparsely crowded, but Shinji had his own seat on the car. He clutched onto his backpack and whilst thinking about the music, and eventually drifted into a state of unawareness. Closing his eyes as he knows the ride home will take half hour, he’d hoped to get shut eye and wake up in time. Though as soon as the first song ended, he didn’t realise the presence of another person next to him.

“Was that ode to joy?” The person who sat next to him said.

Shinji’s alertness was displayed in a jolt, a little disorientated from being half asleep he turned to his left. His eyes widened without saying anything.

A tall white hair man dressed in...Shinji knows him, though Kaworu doesn’t realise it. Without another second to think, Shinji asked, “would you like to listen together?”

Kaworu was boldly surprised, and his shyness was displayed, something Shinji knows he’s never seen before.

“I little surprised by your question, but I just wanted to tell you about your tapping.” Kaworu said with his hand on his face and looking at the floor.

Shinji traced the direction of his eyes and saw his foot slightly lifted, which meant he tapped unconsciously. Embarrassed for himself now, Shinji apologised and offered to find another seat. Flustered he was thinking of moving until Kaworu pulled him arm sharply to make Shinji forcibly sit.

“I think you’re misunderstanding something.”

“Is that so—?” Shinji replies, looking away (still embarrassed of what just happened).

“Yes, that song is my favourite, you often don’t find people who know classical music” and he points to Shinji’s foot, he continues “do you play the piano?”

Shinji’s face turned to from dumbfounded to a small smile.

“No but I play the cello actually, though I do know someone who played the piano and they introduced me to some pieces”.

Kaworu smiles back and he takes out his phone and asks for Shinji’s number . A bit flustered Shinji exchanges information with him. Within moments, he texts “hello 👋 “ and Shinji looking at the screen in disbelief; he takes a slight look at Kaowru who scrolls thru his phone and then a bzzt notification notifies Shinji of a new message, it’s a playlist.

I guess I never introduced myself, but my name is Nagisa Kaworu, he smiles gently. And Shinji stares in disbelief and returns with another smile, my name is Imari Shinji, but you can just call me Shinji

The bus stops and calls out the destination and Kaworu says oh this is my stop, I have a younger sister and she’s actually starting to get lessons on the violin.

“I’ll see you later Shinji-kun let’s meet again.” Kaworu says with an ease-ful smile before heading out.

Shinji smiles and replies with, “Mmh (yes)” with a small nod.

Proposal #2. AU Where Kaworu is a student from the countryside and lives with adopted relatives a.k.a Ryoji and Misato; his “brother” is Misato’s son younger Ryoji. He goes to Tokyo to study agricultural engineering but he really wants to be a music producer. He enjoys the piano a lot and tries to find the music room and stumbles across Shinji who is playing the cello.

He’s a math major and wants to be a home room teacher. He’s childhood friends Asuka who has a one sided crush on him but he doesn’t feel the same way. Asuka later actually goes out with Kensuke. Rei and Kaworu are classmates but find themselves to share similar interests which leads them to be friends.

Rei is later introduced to Shinji as a initial love interest by her going to a university “mixer” party (more like all the students in their year/grade go to party). Rei and Kaworu actually go together, though Kaworu is very stubborn until caves in. With his looks, he attracts a lot of attention from everyone. Though he enjoys the interaction, but he sees Shinji and remembers the piano incident.

Shinji did have a crush on Rei, though he later realised he likes her for the wrong reasons/for mistaken reasons and both stay good friends. Sometime later Rei discovers she and Kaworu are siblings but separated at birth. Kaworu also realizing he likes Shinji a lot and the more time they spend together Shinji also reciprocates.

In this AU Kaworu wants to be a music producer lol tho he still likes environmental engineering; Rei wants to save earth so she’s a environment science or a human resource/social services major cause she likes kids and people, Asuka is an civil engineer/or computer science i guess and that’s how she meets Kensuke🤷🏻‍♀️. Toji is premed/prenursing/pre-PA he’s unsure and Shinji is a math major though considering engineering just like his father. However he still wants to be a home room teacher. Mari I think I’d put her in chemical engineering 😴 cause ig she’s the “Mary sue” of the series.

[zontiky]

okay so i tried to save this ask as a draft and it got deleted because tumblr is just such a functional website like that <3 but the prompt was “the hargreeves as ghosts in the apocalypse with five” or something like that i’m going to scream

this is SUPER long so i’m putting it under the cut hfkjsd

pre-five: the hargreeves siblings are dead. wait i feel a drabble coming on ooh

The Hargreeves siblings are dead.

Ben isn’t very aware of this at first. He’s been dead since 2006 -- he’s quite used to it, by now. What he is aware of, first, is light. Blinding white light. And Vanya, in the middle of it. He doesn’t close his eyes because he can’t feel pain, but if he could he thinks she would have made him blind. There’s light, and heat, and power, and then he closes his eyes anyway because the ceiling is collapsing around him and it’s instinctual.

When he opens them again he sees ash. Ash -- and Klaus.

He’s gotten used to Klaus, too. Klaus has a memorable sort of face; even if he didn’t, Ben has seen it every single day for almost twenty years. He doesn’t know if it’s actually been twenty years, for him. He doesn’t know how time moves for ghosts. Klaus has assured him it moves the same as it does for the living. Ben isn’t sure Klaus, stoned out of his mind, bleeding sluggishly from his arm, knew what he was talking about.

Anyway.

Klaus.

He’s wearing the coat he’s been flaunting around for the past week. His shirt is see-through, with little stars on it, like a pale imitation of the sky. Ben remembers his pants had laces on them, he’s sure they did not a minute ago, before the brightness that threatened to wipe out his very soul -- his soul is all he has left, really. His gaze drifts down anyway, to check.

Yes. Klaus’ pants have laces up the sides.

“No,” Ben says. Klaus is laying in a heap on the ground, his fingers curled like his tendons have been cut.

His lips feel numb because they always feel numb. Because Ben can’t feel at all. He takes a step. “No,” he says again, louder, surer. “No!”

Klaus looks up at him. His makeup is smudged, like it tends to be. His lips are bitten raw, like they tend to be. His hair is a mess, like it tends to be, and like it will be, always, because Klaus isn’t breathing.

Klaus is lying in a heap on the ground. Klaus is standing above his own body. Klaus is reaching for Ben like he’s hoping to touch him for the first time in years. Just when Klaus’ cold, dead, fingers brush his face, a voice from behind says, so quietly, dripping with disbelief: “Ben?”

Ben shuts his eyes and wishes desperately he could cry.

He feels a hand on his shoulder, for the first time in so, so long, but he also doesn’t feel it at all. He feels-but-doesn’t-feel someone turn him around, until they are saying, “Ben? Ben!” and he has no choice but to open his eyes and face the music.

Diego is gripping his shoulders like he is a dying man and Ben is the answer. Behind him, Luther and Allison watch them, stunned silent. Allison’s hands are pressed to her mouth. She looks like she wants to cry. 

And Vanya. Little Vanya, painted white. Her head is hung as her shoulders shake with the weight of the destruction she has so inevitably caused. (Ben would say he always knew she was destined for great things -- but he can’t, because he didn’t.) (Nobody ever said great things had to be good.)

The Hargreeves siblings are dead. Their bodies are strewn across what is left of their childhood home, smouldering and burning, and Ben is very aware of that fact.

righto anyway. so they have an emotional reunion but its also kind of bitter? id have to actually write this for it to make sense so lets skip it for now lol

five shows up

he cannot see them obviously bc theyre all ghosts

god if i did write this it would be such a monster of a fic and would take me like 2 years to finish i already know fhkjdsk

somehow ?? they manage to influence the world around them maybe? idk maybe now that klaus is dead hes sober

or maybe hes high for all eternity?

for the purposes of this au lets say he died sober or in the late stages of withdrawal, and bc ghosts cant feel pain in action hes sober

so EVENTUALLY they figure out how to corporealize bc klaus is like blam wham ghost powers

asdlfk that sounds so stupid im sorry

he would say that tho imho,,, it sounds like something hed say,,,

if i DID write this it would be alternating povs also,,,

ok so out of all of them klaus and ben have the most experience homeless

and while being stuck in an apocalypse is not at all the same thing as being homeless it does help to have some knowledge

five doesnt eat the twinkie!! good for him

dammit okay. theres 2 options we can take here. in the comics five couldnt get back bc he fucked up his math and spent 15 years doing the wrong thing, but if u apply that here, with 6 other ppl checking his work this could be avoided and they end up skipping the whole assassin shtick and just hopping straight back to 2019, ready to prevent the apocalypse

OR five still gets hired for the commission but the sibs are tagging along

i think bc five isnt completely alone in this au unfortunately dolores doesnt exist :((

for each other the 2 paths tho theres also options?? bc they (ghosts) can go back in time and inhabit their past selves bodies? OR they could just,,, cease to exist

IM JUST NOW REALIZING HOW MANY PATHS THIS COULD TAKE,, AAH FUCK

okay gonna split this into parts. this is gonna be so long brace yourselves.

1) they go back in time because math checking and the ghosts swap out for their past selves

after multiple years of being stuck in an apocalypse together i think they would learn to get along with each other. like at least a little bit

which would make it easier for them to prevent the apocalypse

bc theyd:

trust each other more

already know abt the apocalypse and not have to wait for five to grace them all with his knowledge

are working as a team from the very beginning

have open lines of communication

yeah uh. so there

vanya is also already aware of her powers so the whole harold goading her into turning against her family and snapping to wipe out all life on earth thing? yeah that doesnt happen

oh and harold wouldn’t know how to do that in the first place because klaus wouldn’t throw out reggie’s journal! this solves so many problems wtf

there’s still commission issues bc they (and by they i mean five) are on the commission’s radar

so there’s still dope fight scenes sdlkfd pinky promise

okay idk. they stop the apocalypse and everything is okay the end hfkjd

2) they fix the math but only five can go back and the ghosts cease to exist

this is just sad! it would be sad okay! im sad! lets move on

subset of the past one: ben CAN go back with five because he was already dead and time travel affects them differently or something idk

aaaaaa

five & ben dynamic duo would be dope as shit BUT five would not be able to see him... so they use klaus as a middleman fjsdsfd

is there 2 bens? is one ben deleted in favor of the time-traveling ben? i dont know! i dont know my brain is melting

either way shit is happening yall!! obviously klaus is clued in, directly or indirectly it doesnt matter but he is on board the ‘don’t let the entire world end in flames’ train

3) they join the commission and then when five goes back in time they all go back

this is fun because now five is a highly trained assassin who is also lowkey a complete marshmallow for his siblings and once again TEAMWORK WOO

basically the first path but now five has a gun fhsdjk

4) they join the commission but five has to leave them behind and they cease to exist

five with a gun but hes sad now

i didnt go into how much losing his siblings would suck in the prev path but like. it would suck so much. he’s already lost them once if you think about it when he time traveled the first time and yeah he found the adult ghost versions but,, its different

and now suddenly hes stuck with these strange adult versions of the people he knows and he KNOWS them but also he doesnt? at all? they dont have all the years of shared experiences together? and theyre all grown up from the first ‘set’ of siblings he had which for five was like 40+ years ago??

SCREAMS

i have losing my mind disease (self-diagnosed)

subset: five has to leave them behind but they still exist because the commission is out-of-time kind of? idk but they’re still floating around somewhere and come back to impact the plot later or something

yeah idk. literally just wrote them down bc i didnt want them to die^2 hfkjwehd

subset: they still exist but instead of being just Somewhere they’re specifically at the assassination of JFK onwards because thats where five left them and they either go on ghosting and make an appearance in s2 OR they cease because them-wise they havent died yet but that doesnt make sense because ghosts can time travel so nevermind

i dont have the brain energy left to explore this one aaaa

okay jesus christ i think that’s all

I DON’T KNOW. i don’t know. i might write some more of this because honestly it is a very fine flavor of angst + hurt/comfort <3

[wonderland-in-bloom]

an unexpected day off

[leona kingscholar x fem!pomefiore!reader]

anon asked: Yay requestss are open! May I request a oneshot where Leonas fem Pomfiore s/o's little sister comes to Night Raven to visit her and meets Cheka who is also visiting Leona and they become friends and all that cute stuff ( bonus Leona and readers reaction )

yes!! cute indeed uwu hi guys how are you all, are you dying over silver and lilia’s cards as much as i am? heheh 

le fic under the cut

TODAY was going to be a chill day filled with activies which could be tied to lazing around. well at least that’s what both you and your boyfriend thought. but the both of you were wrong. horribly wrong. that morning leona was woken up by cheka literally jumping on top of him. while on the other hand, you were having a beautiful dream until the door to your room slammed against the wall after it swung open. “(Y/N)-NEEEEEEEEE!!! WAKE UP! I’M SPENDING THE WHOLE DAY WITH YOU TODAY!” in your half awoken state, you were still able to recognize that high pitched voice. it was your younger sister. 

“what the hell are you doing here?” you groaned as you buried your head in your pillow. “mom and dad want me here! besides i want to see how miserable you are.” you growled and threw a pillow at her. you two argued and fought so loud that vil came storming into your room with his face still full of cucumbers and a face mask and scolded both you and your younger sister. you really did just want to have one day off without anything crazy or chaotic happening, but hey, when is life ever calm? you sighed as your little sister dragged you around the whole campus. some students gave you glares and in return you gave them back glares which signaled “please help me i beg you”. they legitimately just laughed at you. after all, it was only entertainment for them. in the middle of the way as you trailed behind your sister in the courtyard, she suddenly stopped. 

your eyes sparkled when you saw your boyfriend walking towards you from the other end. “leona!!!” you cheered as you rushed over to him. you saw a glint in his eyes as he was happy to see you too. you wrapped your arms around his torso and he placed his hand on your waist. “please help me....” you whispered. “yeah i could say the same.” you both turned around to face the children you were forced to babysit. they both froze as they eyed each other up and down. “oho? what do we have here?” cheka stepped closer to your little sister and eyed her even more intensely. “who are you?” cheka asked. 

“i could ask you the same! i didn’t know kids were allowed here.” she shot back. “i’m cheka kingscholar...ojitan...leona’s nephew. and you?” you and leona saw the two bashful kids. “i’m (l/s/n). (y/n)’s litle sister.” it was a little awkward for a while. you were debating with yourself wether to break it up or do something at least. however as you were about to step closer to them, leona grabbed your hand. “wait, (y/n). this might be a really good chance. if the both of them gets along, then they’ll just wander off on their own. less work for us, ya know?” you bit your bottom lip. a negative multiplied by a negative equals a positive. which means that both their chaotic-ness and irresponsibility would cancel each other out and you and leona would have no trouble. you two would have a day filled with relaxing and lazing around just as you both thought. “hmm, you’re right.” you smirked. you and leona chuckled evilly as the two kids started a conversation. 

you and leona didn’t even pay attention to them for five seconds and they were already running off to go play somewhere else. leona smirked as you both turned around, planning to head over to his room and just continue your beauty sleep which was cut short. leona slung his arm over your shoulder as you snuggled close against him and started walking to the savanaclaw dorms. however not long after, you heard a surprisingly high pitched yet familiar screaming coming from somewhere not too far from you. you and leona briskly made your way to the source of the scream to see...idia in a tree? “idia...senpai?” his eyes were wide filled with terror and fear. “(Y-Y/N)! L-LEONA! PLEASE HELP ME!” he pleaded. you two looked down to two very familiar figures right below the branch idia was gripping to dear life on. “YOUR HAIR IS SO COOL! WE JUST WANNA PLAY!” your little sister chirped. “PLEASEEE COME DOWN.” cheka joined her. 

leona growled and grabbed cheka by the collar. “oi, what are you doing?” cheka pouted. “we were just curious!” he replied. “we just wanted to play with him...it’s not our fault he’s a scaredy cat.” your little sister joined. you smacked the back of her head. “that’s not nice. we’re so sorry idia-senpai. you can go now.” he slowly climbed from the branch and down to the ground and started running off. “heeeh, what a weird guy.” your little sister commented. “well you two were basically invading his boundaries. so.” she rolled her eyes. “sheesh (y/n)-nee, can’t you just let us have a little fun? come on cheka! we have more places to go to!” she giggled and the two kids started running off. remember when you thought that the chaotic-ness would cancel each other out? yeah. wrong. instead it multiplied and now they get into more trouble as a duo than you both thought. 

and thus your day off from school was filled with running around, trying to catch the two kids, and apologizing to the other dorm leaders and students. to keep things short and simple, there were a lot of things those two did which disturbed the other students. first, they managed to leave the hedgehogs riddle used in his game of croquet to almost die because of shock and fear. this left riddle in a frenzy and it took the adeuce duo and cater to calm him down while trey urged the two kids to run off. but he didn’t even hesitate giving you and leona a little lecture. second, they sneaked into savanaclaw’s daily magift training sessions and held onto a couple of senior’s brooms. they almost fell a couple of feet from the air and had to be caught by jack and ruggie. ruggie (wholeheartedly) told leona off and when you wanted to catch the two troublemakers, they were already gone. third, they managed to infiltrate the mostro lounge and begged jade and floyd for piggyback rides. it went well at first but let’s just say the lounge didn’t look so good after the whole session ended. azul ended up threatening leona with blackmail and scolded the both of you for doing that to his precious lounge. (of course he threatened to sue leona but he just brushed him off. after all, leona was a rich boy so he didn’t really mind. lol)

fourth, they played hide and seek with kalim in his treasure room. for once, this was the one instance where the dorm leader wasn’t mad or troubled, but rather joined them in the fun. in the end, jamil had to drag kalim by the collar and scold him instead of you and leona. they continued their game without kalim and this time it was hide and seek with you and leona. of course you didn’t find them anywhere in scarabia and concluded that they headed off to pomefiore. rook was in a panic because the peacocks from the gardens escaped and started to cause havoc, making the garden a mess. epel was chasing the two children (as ordered by vil) but they just laughed and thought it was a game of tag. your dorm leader didn’t hesitate to blabber a handful of comments which made your ears ring and he also didn’t hesitate to slap the back of leona’s head. “irresponsible. just like their relatives.” he mentioned, hinting at the fact that like nephew/little sister like uncle/older sister. finally, cheka and your little sister stepped foot into diasomnia but regretted it the instant they stepped in. 

they were greeted with sebek and silver who scared them off and made them not even dare to do anything which involves diasomnia. lilia tried to be nice to them and tried to calm the down as best he can (he is a father after all ha ha) but he managed to make them cry. at the end of your tiring and NOT AT ALL peaceful day, you found the two snuggled next to each other under a tree. they were both fast asleep. you and leona sighed in relief. you exchanged glances with each other before collapsing yourselves. “finally~” the storm has passed and you two could finally calm down. you both leaned against the tree and sat down with a ‘thump’. with aching feet and ears just having enough of lectures and rambles, both your eyes felt heavy. you were already drifting off to sleep when you felt leona’s hand position your head to lean against his shoulder. you smiled and that’s when you were engulfed in a deep slumber. 

this really wasn’t the day off both leona and you were expecting. but at least you spent the whole day together and managed to work together as a pair to solve the mischief caused by the two children. well....somewhat solved it at least. 

BONUS: “AAAWH THEY’RE SO CUTE! THEY’RE LIKE A LITTLE FAMILY!” cater whisper shouted from behind a bush. he took out his phone and readied his camera. you and leona were out cold. snoring and dead asleep as leona leaned against the tree and you leaned against his shoulder. cheka rested his head on leona’s lap whilst your little sister did the same thing to you. the four of you really did look like a cute, little family. “this might be a good time to ambush. don’t you think my beautiful queen?” rook commented as he put aside the binoculars. “hmm...maybe we can make use of cater-kun. those pictures can easily be blackmail. we can get them to do our bidding as long as we have their picture.”

“ah! smart and beautiful! that is our dorm leader, vil schoenheit!”

“that’s what the both of you get for disrupting my day off.” 

♡

lol i included a sentence or two related to math (simple math tho lol). wai? i finished like four weeks of math hw in a day haha. yeah well it was stupid for teachers to give us summer hw. like i’m already stressed sm and now they’re just yeeting more stress to me. yeeeets. rant over. 

love, a♕

[seijorhi]

asks

alright i’m compiling these because today was a lot 

i dont think there was even any negative stereotizing of black men bc all of the men in your fics do dark things??? pls ppl be looking for crumbs to hate 😭😭😭

i mean that’s kind of my view. if you’re writing like mainstream fics and characterising aran (and aran alone) as somebody who’s aggressive and rapey and all of that, absolutely, that’s a real red flag, but everybody is equally as awful in my fics. i don’t do fluff or any kind of safe, sane and consensual so??

 Who is aran? And what fandom?

aran is from haikyuu, he’s an outside hitter for inarizaki :)

Please bb write that Aran fic! That man is sexy af and there is not enough content out there for daddy Aran! Please! I’ll give you my whole heart if you write it out of spite!

haha i’m honestly tempted 👀

Lol maybe the aran anon sent to the apology to the wrong creator 😂 

I don’t think it’s nice to tell people to delete their fics cause that uncomfortable. Also it’s not your only JUST writing Aran fics 😂

yeah idk the ask felt very half cocked but it’s whatever

I’m sorry there are people being mean to u :( is there anything I can do to help? Is there a way for you to blog that aran anon?

it’s okay, i’m not really bothered by it – mostly because it doesn’t actually apply to me but anyway lol

Anon, if you don’t like dark content then use the content AND tag filter to block it. I don’t think you understand how both HATEFUL and RUDE it is to demand a writer to delete their fic. If you really dislike their content, then block it. Every single writer does not exist to cater to YOUR preferences. Sorry you’re getting this rude and ridiculous anon Rhi! Thank you so much for writing amazing pieces 💕

it’s all good, bby, but i do agree. tumblr has a blocking system, people should use. also i would never delete a fic just because somebody came to complain to me about it

What’s a moot? Sorry i should know this

a mutual - somebody who you follow and who follows you back :))

Did anon think you were just writing yandere fics for Aran or smth👀 Did they ignore the entire masterlist full of other characters

i don’t think they bothered to think about it, just went straight to jumping down my throat after making an assumption over blindsided

To Aran Anon, don’t you think intentionally excluding the black characters of haikyuu in fanfic writing is inherently ✨ r a c i s t ✨?

I think anon needs a pair of glasses, cause I don’t think they see the bigger picture of this issue.

i understand where they’re coming from i just think that their viewpoint (at least in this case) kinda doesn’t make sense, but hey, they’re entitled to feel how they feel, i’m more irritated that they came up and asked me to delete a fic over it

first time sending something in but i gotta bc wtf is that aran anon on?? like i get that it can be seen as demonizing black men but does anon not know that literally almost every other character is asian lmao dont pick and choose which group of poc can or cant be in dc fics its all in good fun and horniness at the end of the day ¯\_(ツ)_/�� also i love you youre one of the few haikyuu dc creators thatll always have me entertained keep it up babes <3

yeah, it’s just all a bit ??? but what’re you gonna do. 

also i love you too thanks for this bby!

Pretty sure I just bombed my Math exam 😢

Please send one good vibe my way it would be appreciated (also big fan of your work, please never stop being great!!!)

aw i’m sorry bby, i’m sending you all the good vibes and love 💕

I’m writing for Oikawa rn and I need help because your yandere Oikawa is so...amazing. What nicknames do you think he uses with reader? Like darling, cutie, sweetheart...anything?

sweetheart, cutie & babe/baby are my go-to’s for oiks :) but darling works too!

hello this is the anon who u made simp for oikawa even tho ive never having seen haikyuu dropping by to say you are my favorite writer!! i picked this flower for u ✿

I LOVE YOU!!!

omg i would love a second fic for final girl! the whole story and concept is super interesting ALSO i love bo kuroo and akaashi 🤍 (i love your fics and ideas in general ily)

well it’s currently winning with 354 votes so :))

So I voted for Final Girl but I'm sure whatever fic wins it will still be a masterpiece but what fic are you rooting for Rhi?

honestly i think i could go for a blindsided part 2 or et tu part 2 efbhjvkl i just wanna write more manager au’s

don't mind me, just coming here say that y'all are really sleeping on Good Girl 😟 It's a total chef's kiss 1000/10 fic.

fdhcbjiewrkoviwhrtj my first hq fic 

Do you read manga or watch anime? 🥺 Where do you watch you’re anime (if you do), I can’t find anywhere to watch after kiss anime was shut down 😭

i watch animes across crunchyroll, hidive and netflix. manga’s i just google but i’ve only read a few

Istg the way you write these fanfics are

I M M A C U L A T E

We love you!

I LOVE YOU TOO THANK YOU SM BBY!

[cathyparrlyn]

We’re all just mirror shards

_________________________________________________________

Hey everyone! It’s No One here, or perhaps you now know (if you have read a certain lovely, beautiful, baby tief’s post) that my name is Maddy. It’s great to finally post this next part, first update of 2020! Woo!....

Yeah, I know, it’s been a while. I’m sorry for that, but not only am I working on future chapters and a special writing project (some of you might have already heard about it, oops-), but like, school. Ugh. But don’t worry, I have plenty of content to give you guys, so I shouldn’t fall too behind with my updating schedule!

I want to shoutout two people today. First off, one of my writing friends, @justonemoretheatrekid who is super sweet and has helped me with my bi panic, so thanks friendo! I enjoyed chatting with you! :3

I also want to give a special thanks to another one of my writing friends, @toomanyfamdom for not only helping me edit this sucker (legit the only reason I was able to post today. Bless her soul for putting up with my comma crazy piece.), but also for being the sweetest and best baby in the world. She makes me a proud mama. :3 love you baby! And thank you for not joining in on the “(censored name) for the pole” chant. I know how much you like to troll me tho, so I guess will see what happens next time. Lol. <3

Also, good news and bad news! 

Good news! This chapter has the “read more” option! Bad News! It cost me all the pretty and colorful fonts. ;-; Also, it won’t let me edit my draft from my iPad now as I did the function on the computer. So like... I can’t fix it. :(

So now I have a dilemma. Which should I use, the read more function or the colorful and pretty fonts? Please reply down below if you have a preference. Anyways, enough with my long ass author note!

Without further interruption, the chapter! Woo!

Word count: about 2,212 words.

Warnings: Cursing, bullying. (Also, Anne being a useless lesbian gremlin and Cathy being a bi disaster. OWO UWU)

Enjoy~

————————————————————————————————

Part 11

Annie Boleyn

————————————————————————————————

…………………………………......Recap………………………………………

“Sorry about that, I’m just so fucking tired of bullshit,” Anne muttered, snapping Cathy out of her thoughts.

"Huh?"

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Cathy was a dumbass. She had to be. How else could she have fucked up so badly with her words? They were her thing! But with Anne, all she could muster up to say was ‘huh?’ Huh! Ugh, she just can’t with herself right now.

What’s worse, this is serious. Anne looks like she needs someone to talk to, Cathy can be that person, but not if she’s a disaster.

Parr wants to be there for Anne. She craves to develop their relationship, for them to get closer. To be able to share inside jokes and small smiles with each other. To have long conversations and calling each other late at night just to rant because they know the other will listen. For the comfort of knowing that she does, in fact, matter to Anne.

Right now she felt farther away from her goal than ever. Looking up, she saw an indescribable look on Anne’s face, the only thing she could note was the fear in Boleyn’s eyes as she held herself. An uneasy feeling washed over Anne as she realized she might have said too much around Cathy. She was nervous. Cathy couldn’t believe it. Anne was scared of her own opinion, and that worried Parr. Boleyn was speechless, not knowing how to respond. It was painful to see this side of her. Yet Cathy couldn’t help but stare. This new side drew her in, and Parr couldn’t stop herself from questioning more and more about who Anne really was. And what could have possibly happened to the Boleyn girl to make her feel so mortified that she couldn’t even express her own feelings.

Now Cathy was scared. She couldn’t just stand there and wait Anne recover on her own. No, Catherine wants to help her, she needs to help Anne.

So with a deep breath, Cathy had made her decision to keep moving forward with the conversation. She refused to make Anne start things, this time she’ll make the first move. For Anne’s sake.

“Hey, are you alright? I’m here for you if you want to talk about it.”

“No, no. It’s stupid, just, please. Forget about it.”

Cathy felt as if she was stabbed in the heart after hearing that statement. Anne was amazing, smart, talented, and said some of the most interesting things Cathy has ever heard. And here she is now, saying that her feelings are stupid.

Cathy doesn’t know who made her feel like this, but they are going to pay for it. Yet, that is for another time, right now Cathy has to focus on comforting the Boleyn girl.

“Hey Anne, we’re friends right?”

“Well, yeah, I would like to think so.” Anne tentatively mumbled. She expressed a blatant insecurity that Parr would reject the idea. But why?

Parr wanted to further analyze this side of Anne and try to figure out what might have happened to her, but she couldn’t. Not right now, when Anne needed a friend. No, especially now since Anne needed a friend, someone to be there for her, to reassure her things were okay. That is what Parr needed to be right now. Her friend.

Cathy smiled, bumping their shoulders together. Hence, grabbing Anne’s attention as Parr stared at her with a look that Anne wasn’t used to seeing: patience and love. With a gentle squeeze reminding Anne of their connected hands, Cathy let the Boleyn girl bask in the show of affection. Anne deserves to enjoy this moment, to feel comfortable with her own thoughts. What’s more, she deserves to have someone to listen to her. Cathy can very well be that person. All Catherine had to do was prove that she would and could be there for her. So she spoke up, determined to help Anne no matter what it takes.

“Then there you go. Your opinion matters to me, Anne. As your friend, I don’t think this is stupid. Not one bit. So please, don’t feel afraid to talk to me. You have a wonderful voice, and I truly think it should be shared with the world.”

Cathy observed as Anne stared at her in shock. A blush formed on Parr’s cheeks as she noticed a sudden change in the Boleyn girl. Tension had quickly left Anne’s face and was now replaced by a small, soft, genuine, and breathtaking smile. Really, Cathy could go on about the beauty of Anne’s smile, but she was rather focused on something else. It was way more important than her feelings. Gratitude, that’s what Anne’s expression conveyed instead of the fearful look she wore mere seconds ago. Anne gently squeezed Cathy’s hand back, returning the affection as she pulled Cathy in so they could be in closer proximity. The action cause both girls heart to race as they were lost in the moment, staring at each other in a comfortable, knowing silence. Both were thinking the same thing.

She does see me.

Finally after taking a few deep breaths, Anne was the first one to break the silence.

“Thank you, that… that really means a lot Cathy.”

“Of course Anne. Do you, um... Do you want to talk about it?” Cathy gingerly asked.

Anne looked down as she contemplated what to do. After a few seconds of thinking it over, she slowly nodded her head.

“Alright, I’m here to listen whenever you ready.” Parr, acknowledging that she was looking down, squeezed Anne’s hand again. Cathy hopes it would reassure Boleyn that Parr planned on being there for her. Seeing that Anne had mustered up the courage to look up at Catherine and start her explanation, Cathy thinks it’s safe to say that it worked.

"Ok, so, our generation is stupid, right?” Anne started off.

“100% agree, continue please.”

“It’s just, no one cares about others' stories. Make believe or real, every story matters. Yet we cast them aside and hold an egocentric viewpoint that mentally and physically tears others down. And I’m so fucking sick of it!”

“Of the kids in the halls?” Cathy hesitantly asked.

“Of basically everyone! They all piss me off! Like, no one even understands why I read, the majority of those people don’t even think I can read! I’m nearly eighteen, for Christ's sake! How would I be in an advanced English class if I couldn’t read?”

“I don’t know, kids are stupid.”

“I know, but… you’re the first person to understand this and believe me…”

“Really?”

“Yeah, Anna won't shut up about how I can't do math, Kitty doesn't like poetry and always whines about me speaking ‘gibberish’ when I rant about it, and the rest of the school thinks I text shit like, 'dat waz fun' smiley face, winky face, kissy cat." Anne rolled her eyes. "It's just..." she pursed her lips, then looked at Cathy and gave her a small smile. "It hurts after a while, y’know. So it's extremely refreshing to finally talk to someone who appreciates writing."

"I totally get that." Cathy nodded.

"Really?" Anne stared at her as if she had two heads.

"Yeah... actually, at my last school, I was teased for reading so much," Cathy elaborated honestly. She doesn't know why, but she felt a need to tell Anne this. It was as if that Boleyn girl elicited a strong desire for Parr to talk about herself. She wanted to know all about Anne, and for Anne to know all about her.

Even if it was about her embarrassing loser past. It's not like she can escape it, only accept it and move forward.

"What the hell is wrong with this generation? That's stupid!" Anne groaned.

Well, at least Anne agreed with her about the matter.

"They called me novel nerd," Cathy bluntly stated.

"... Fucking Alliteration." Anne said after muttering what Cathy assumed was French swear words. She then pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Yeah." Cathy bitterly laughed.

"Want me to fight them for you?" Anne offered, holding her fist up and pretending to punch the air to show she was being serious.

"No, but thanks... it's just like you said earlier, it's nice just to be comfortable enough to talk about these things with someone and know that they respect it." Cathy smiled at her.

Anne lifted Catherine's hand up a bit and gently stroked it.

"Cath, I got you." The gentle action caused Cathy to blush. Anne then looked up with a spark of mischief. "Let's run away to live in a library."

Cathy couldn't help but let out an unlady-like snort. A bit embarrassing, yes. But luckily for Catherine, Anne adored it. She couldn't stop herself from adoring it even if she tried.

"Sounds like heaven." Parr grinned, finally managing to calm her laughter.

They both stared at each other for a few seconds in silence, but after those few seconds of silence, they burst into a laughing fit.

Catherine then looked up at Anne. Something caught her attention about her suggestion. The way she referred to something, or rather, herself.

"Cath, Huh?" She raised an eyebrow, looking Anne over in a teasing manner.

It's time for some playful payback.

She noticed how Anne flinched, and for a quick second, looked embarrassed, but it quickly washed away and was replaced by her usual confident expression.

"Oh, yeah. I just think it's cute and, um, it suits you. Is it alright if I call you that?" Anne asked.

Cathy couldn't stop the dorky smile that was spread across her face. Just hearing Anne give her a nickname just like how she had given one to Katherine, warmed Cathy up inside. She was growing closer to Anne each second and her interest for the girl continued to grow.

"Sure, but only if I get to call you nicknames too!" She agreed.

"Go for it, you got two slots."

Catherine pondered for a second. What should she call her?

Catherine couldn't help but giggle at the first thought to come to mind.

"Okay, first one has to be gremlin."

Anne's smile dropped and her eyebrows furrowed.

"You know what Cath? Fuck you." She huffed, a small pout was plastered on her face. Ergo, causing Cathy to burst into a giggling fit.

After a few seconds of giggling and admiring Anne's pouty face, Cathy managed to calm down.

"Okay, um... Next is.... hm."

It took Cathy a few seconds as she looked Anne up and down. She didn't actually need to check the girl out, she just wanted an excuse too.

The action, however, had caused Anne to blush.

Then it hit Cathy. Her lips quirked up at the idea for what to call the Boleyn girl. Sure, it was simple, but so was Cathy. So it’s fine. No, Parr will do one better.

It was perfect.

"Annie," Catherine said, squeezing Anne's hand and beaming at her with a warm smile.

Anne's happy expression fell after hearing that. Cathy noticed the change in expression.

"Um, is everything alright?" She asked.

"H-huh? Oh, um, yeah. It's swell." Anne nervously looked away.

Cathy stared at her worried, but Anne refused to show any sign of pain. Instead, she just gave Cathy a fake smile and avoided eye contact.

There it is again. The change in expression, the change in tone, the change in the atmosphere around her. All of these changes thickened the air and added to the mystery of Anne Boleyn.

Who was she?

Just a second ago, she was all bubbly. But with just a single name, she instantly became a timid sheep. She wore nervous, wide eyes that were surveilling the surroundings as if she was watching out for a predator, fearing for her life. However, the only other person there was Cathy.

She did that. She did this to Anne Boleyn. She doesn't know how, nor why, but she did it. An god, did it feel awful.

Cathy could only do what she thought was right at the time, to check on the girl.

With a gentle squeeze initiated by Cathy, Anne's eyes slowly looked up. Her breathing was a little heavy and her face was a calm, serious. Cathy's anxiety grew with each lurid second passing. Finally, after making it all the way up the excruciating trail, Anne's eyes met Cathy's.

For a brief second Cathy swore she saw the corner of Anne's eyes filling up with tears, and her skin was slightly paler than usual.

But it disappeared in seconds as she hastily swapped her expressions, as if she was trying to hide something. She... she was trying to hide herself.

Anne had put back on her mask, yet it was too late.

Her perfect image had already broke in front of Cathy, not that she planned on telling Anne that.

So with a heavy sigh, Cathy acknowledge that she needed to do something.

"Anne I-"

"Stop it. There's no need for that." Anne interrupted her in a cold tone, yet she still had a "smile" plastered on her face.

"Huh?" Cathy looked at her confused.

"Really Cath, I'm fine." She muttered loud enough for Cathy to hear her.

Cathy knew that wasn't the case. It most certainly wasn't the case at all. Cathy wanted to convey to Anne that she knew this, and that she wanted to help her. She wanted to stop right there, tell Anne it's okay not to be okay, perhaps even give her a hug.

But she didn't know Anne. They weren't close. Anne said it herself, they just met recently. And although Cathy was connecting with her, Anne might not be as into it. She doesn't know. Boleyn is still a mystery to her, one she has yet to uncover.

So how could she break through Anne's mask? She didn't have the right because she doesn't know her. At least, she doesn't know her yet.

"Okay. If you say so...." she reluctantly dropped the subject.

Mark Cathy's words, she'll read Anne's backstory one day. Cathy might cry, she might laugh, hell, she might not know what to think. But she knows that she'll be there for Anne when the time comes.

Until that day comes, this is all she could do for now.

—————————————————————————

Tag list: @sarahzarahh @annabanana2401 @lesbabe6 @aveasorae @qnneboleyn @whenallthestarscollide @its-totes-gods-will @canadianharrypotter @epitomeofchaoss @obliviousasheck @heeleys4feeleys @liliocelotepremium @six-is-awesome @thatbolxyngirl @toomanyfamdom @the-queen-bee-is-here @a-slightly-cracked-egg @thatonedisaster-gay @aywdaimie @thegaywhokindalikesmusicals @everything-insanity @babeebobo @one-time-i-jumped-off-a-cliff @wicked-books-101 @33o9 @agustjnk @i-really-dont-use-this-anymore Please reply if you wish to join the tag list or if your username changes so I can update the list :D

[otomelavenderhaze]

Hii Fa! If I could I would pay for the boosts too haha things would be less difficult. What you did there was some nice thinking! And it's even better if you don't regret it.

I'm sure there are going to be so many great four-stars, at least one of them is going to suit me better. Yeah, I'm gonna save for a little while, maybe two weeks more? But, I'm gonna try for sure in this banner, just gotta wait a bit more!

Was Diona good for your team dynamic? If you really liked her, she'll come back... In a year or so....

Oh, so there's this too, this 47-50... The things they don't tell you in the official statements. Wow your sister, it's like getting the perfect grade without studying, admittedly she tries hard, so she has my respect too.

Tho I don't think there's anything wrong in just having fun without doing everything, it's a game and that's what it's for! - I say, while being lazy and not wanting to walk miles in game to find chests. I really mean it, pushing yourself too hard is just not worth it. I only finished one game 100%, and after I hardly worked for months for it, I was leisurely driving my flower car, when the game crashed and never worked again haha

I wonder what these things even are... I see people talking about potions and special foods and I am just ignoring it for now, a die hard gamer routine is something I'll never achieve

So pulling on different banners has a difference in the character's skills? Did I misunderstand it? So the 4 stars are better than the 5 stars that have no proper buildings... hm hm lol this game has a way to make me confused, but it's fine

I'm almost there, I'm in Lvl 15. But 60 primogems after every course, I'll speed up! Funny story, I decided that i wanted to unlock the Liyue area, but I wasn't aware it was Liyue, so I walked up to the statue of the geo archon and resonated with it and unlocked the map! After that I pretended nothing happened, and ignored its existence to avoid spoiling the main plot.

I don't remember well, but yes he was really good, while he was alive I had a lot of fun!

Is your Keqing building going well? She must be really fast if she's quicker than the traveler, since to me they're really swift!

What is this resing system? The blue moons used to collect the prizes? Must suck to play through a lot of things that require them at once, if that's what you mean.

I always do maths for games that I care for and I try to make the smart move about money - besides I never mind waiting in Genshin, I’m cool with collecting it every day and doing my tasks. 

It’s more like... Diona is a cat little baby and I love cats xD besides my only healer is Barbara and Bennett xD which don’t leave me much space to try different things. However, Diona is added to the banner, like I said, all 4 stars in banners will be added to the standard banner, so she’s not lost for me!! 

Besides support ice characters does great combos reactions, some element reactions cause more damage and normally it has to do with fire and ice. 

My sister told me actually that she got it reaching 70 pulls actually D: but yeah, actually the rarest is 45-50 pulls. But yeah, those of 70 and that less one are for single pulls made strategically and you could end up getting one 5 stars or not!! There’s tons of videos about rating and they can explain it better to you than me xD

Yeah, I know right? My sister loves grinding, when she downloaded the game she got so addicted and she wanted to clean everything fast, because this is just how she likes playing games. I’m hella more laid down even if I do grind too. 

ALSO, besides what you said and that I totally agree on, Genshin is the type of game that you should take your time really, precisely because it is not finished yet. 

Don’t worry about potions and food in the start, the game will teach you everything about it and you will get used to it too eventually. 

No, you understood wrong. Or I probably explained it wrong... lemme see... hm... Mihojo is getting better and better at creating 5 stars, they’re learning with the community what kind of characters can balance out the game and which wouldn’t, so there are no characters in the standard banner that can change battle styles in the middle of combat like Childe can OR there’s no character that can strike a meteor with their ult and stop enemies like Zhongli does, those characters got created after that feedback and they’re more “dynamic” than the ones created at first for the game. 

Don’t get me wrong, Diluc is an amazing dps, Qiqi is an amazing healer and Keqing is good at being a dps as well, the 5-star from the standard banners are good ones, but none of them can be as good as the new ones because the new ones are evolving with the game’s mechanics, so there’s a possibility of those characters become outdated in front such better ones. That’s what I meant. 

BUT in long term is easier getting 4 stars, so let’s say that while Diluc is great and all, if you have a Xinyan with 6 constellations, she will be better than a dry (with no constellations) Diluc in theory. Because she will be having a boost from those that will make her stronger. The thing is, the number of 4 stars will increase and it’s going to be harder getting duplicates of them xD 

Ah, I’m pretty sure I did the same with Liyue LOL and you’re indeed almost there!! It worthed, it’s going to be a lot more than 400 primals in that event and you can do the courses any day, they just unlock one everyday, if you play through them all you can get them all in the same day... you just have to not miss the last day or leave it all for one day....... 

I was farming for Keqing and her sword today, I had to stop exactly because of the resin system xD because I ran out of chances to keep collecting things, so I will have to wait and wait and wait kkkkkkkk I can’t really explain everything about the resin’s issues... because I just understand that it takes way too long to accumulate and stops the player from farming enough. 

I recommend you watch a video about it tho, I really don’t think I know how to explain that one to it’s fullest, the issue is better explained from the players that have a real routine in the game and are focused on farming - I’m that type that goofy around xD

AHH, I will keep your ask about Horizon in my inbox for future reference. Yeah, I figured that I shouldn’t fall in love with any side character and not romanticize them, I got that feeling from the beginning. Thank you for the tips, pay pal!! 

[ff-imagines]

General headcanons: salty tofu

I saw a man so beautiful I started crying?

• baby boy.... baby boy....

• salty having a crush on you is... gonna make things difficult for both of you

• he’d rather walk a mile barefoot over legos that are actively on fire than admit he has feelings for anyone

• so as a result he’s... very defensive and quick to end your conversations

• he’s essentially the third grader who’s mean to you cause they have a crush on you lol

• honestly it doesn’t take much to break down that wall though

• even the most basic kindness has him looking at you differently

• but he’s still gonna be high and mighty about it lol

• “don’t you have other duties? Or is this you submitting to being my toy?”

• “I don’t need your attention. Go find someone else to dote on.”

• proceeds to get sad cause you’re not paying attention to him

• you’re gonna have to make the first move, baby boy is a lil bit oblivious when it comes to romance

• and general social interaction

• the second you do, his walls come completely down and he’s a big ol’ cuddly softie

• he also drops the whole toy thing pretty quickly when he sees you’re not happy with it

• “Oh? Do you want to be my toy forever? ... Eh? Why is your expression so unsightly? ... Darn it, okay I was wrong, I won't call you a toy again... So... smile.”

• gets frustrated super easily over small stuff

• most of the time it has to do with people making him feel uncomfortable, or hurt

• he likes to pretend words don’t hurt him, but they really do.

• sometimes if he’s hurt enough, he’ll tear up

• he’s got a sorta hiccup-y cry, his throat locks up making it hard to talk, and he hugs himself tightly. Sometimes he’ll wipe at his face to get rid of the tears.

• if you tease him or poke fun at him for crying he’ll loose his shit

• he can dish out teasing, but he cant really take it in return, especially when he’s vulnerable like that

• but he’d also never tease you for crying either, he mostly just starts feeling angry at whatever made you cry

• “salty you can’t fight a tv screen” “W A T C H M E“

• the best way to cheer him up when’s he’s sad/grumpy?

• be needy

• he likes that you rely on him, even for small things like a hug

• another quick way to get him in a good mood?

• spa day!

• face masks, bath bombs, cucumbers on your eyes, diy manicures, he loves it all!

• his favorite bath bomb is black with just enough glitter that it’s not excessive, and it smells like apricots

• he can’t really relax unless he has some kind of white noise, so you both take turns picking a music playlist

• on days where you just can’t come to an agreement on what to play or who’s turn it is, you both just settle on the 24 hour lo-fi stream.

• likes the water skin boilingly hot, so good luck lmao

• sometimes sits across from you in the tub and just chills, but mostly prefers to have you back against him as to two lean back and enjoy the smells and feeling of the water.

• likes manicures, but can’t paint his nails well himself without making a mess on his fingers

• his hands are just a little shaky as a default, so hes gonna appreciate any help he can get

• won’t admit it tho so you’ve gotta being it up

• “hey maybe we should do each other’s nails!” And run before he does yours

• he also loves getting his hair played with

• there have been times where he’s actually fallen alseep while you messed with his hair because of how relaxed it made him

• he doesn’t like messing with makeup as much

• don’t get me wrong, on himself he wings eyeliner so sharp it can stab someone

• but on someone else? His hands are twitchy as ever and he’s too worried about stabbing you in the eye

• he just sticks to styling your hair

• he’s not absolutely phenomenal with hair, but it doesn’t look bad either, and he tries his best.

• as time goes on he’ll get better with it, and his styles will slowly get more and more impressive.

• chews on his tongue piercing somtimes when idleing

• also he talks a lot, that causes the metal to knock against his teeth somtimes

• because of that his teeth are a little sensitive, so he doesn’t like ice cream or any cold food that much cause like.... ouch

• prefers marzipan and punishingly dark chocolate

• plays his guitar often, would love if you did too!

• if you don’t know how to play very well, for your sake and his, don’t ask for lessons from him.

• he won’t be mean to you, just light teasing

• but his patience level is -18393024 so uhm

• he’s not a very good teacher :(

• he’ll try!

• he can help you with a few chords, but frankly?

• he’s not only been doing this for a long ass time, he’s also just naturally gifted when it comes to music and pitch recognition

• so if you take a while to get it he’s just gonna be “????? Why confusion this easy ?????”

• he tries his best but eventually just sighs and pulls out his phone to play a YouTube tutorial lol

• if you’ve not already got piercings, he’d love to see you with some!

• if you asked about getting them he’d at first tease a little about you wanting to be like him

• then he’d tell you basic care etc cause he’s not a healer, he can’t really help you if you get infected

• he gets really upset to see you in pain so he kinda dotes on you a lot, getting a piercing does nothing but encourage him to make sure you’re doing ok.

• honestly he’s cool with whatever you wanna do, don’t want piercings? “That’s fine, now listen to three days grace with me I’m bored”

• honestly is very laid back when it comes to hanging out with you alone.

• he trusts you with everything he has, why have worries when you’re right here?

• he likes to talk, but he enjoys just sitting in comfortable silence with some kinda white noise just as much.

• literally anything you want to do, he’ll go with you

• not without complaints, but he’ll go

• you don’t even really have to warn him either

• “ I wanna go hiking up an active volcano” “aight lemme grab some snacks and some bug spray”

• normally doesn’t really have a ‘schedule’, just kinda goes wherever. He lives day by day, making time for his basic needs.

• on rare days he’ll drag you around town looking for something to do

• but for the most part he looks to you for plans and schedules because he legit can’t be assed what you two do as long as he’s doing it with you.

• he kinda has this weird thing with math

• that being that he’s freakishly good at it

• it’s just another thing that he just gets

• he also knows that he’s good at it and he’s pretty proud of that

• will be beaming if you ask for help with any kind of math

• will also be proud if you ask him for help with really anything

• gives the classic “ what, can’t handle it yourself?” line and then immediately gets whatever you need done

• very much likes to hug you

• very very much likes to hug you

• his fav is wrapping his arms around you from behind, and if you’re short enough, placing his head on the top of yours. If you’re a bit on the taller side, he settles for your shoulder.

• but there is one thing he likes more than hugs

• cuddling!!!!

• “tonight, I want to hold you as you fall asleep~”

• and he definitely means that.

• he sleeps on his side, only on his back if he’s tired enough to pass out immediately, never on his stomach as it makes him feel weirdly queasy.

• he loves when you’re on your side facing him, and he’s got you in an arm prison.

• tuck your head under his chin and he’ll actually melt into a puddle

• he’s always very warm but he has this weird tick where no matter how hot a room is, he thinks it’s cold

• “cold...” “salty it’s 94 degrees” “c o l d . . . ”

• cuddling with him is pretty pleasant as long as you don’t get hot to easy, cause he piles on the blankets and curls into you like you’re a fire on a -27 degree night.

• honestly when it comes to you, sweet tofu is obsession, salty tofu is possession.

• don’t get me wrong, he’s not keeping you on lockdown

• but he gets jealous very easy lol

• of course more reasonably, he’s not gonna be crying while holding up your phone going “WhO tHe FuCk iS mOm??”

• it’s more that if you’re in public and someone’s gaze lingers just a little to long

• he’s got an arm around you pulling you closer to his side and he’s glaring

• he might be your living teddy bear, but he knows how to make himself look very menacing

• he doesn’t like random strangers talking to you, mainly because he doesn’t know them and therefore does not trust that they don’t have bad intentions

• “He was asking for directions to the chip isle salty” “didn’t like the look in his eye” “he was 15” “and”

• he finds the stories you bring home of being hit on or asked out off putting, but he mostly laughs, saying “did they really think they had a chance with what’s mine?”

• he feels safer knowing that not only will you turn down others flirting, but you’ll openly laugh with him at that person for even trying.

• it’s an ego boost, but it also makes him proud of you for being able to stand your ground.

• but... if someone ever makes advancements toward you on front of him?

• oh no.

• The fool. The buffoon. They have no idea the absolute hell they’ve just unleashed upon themselves.

• he has no qualms defending you with actual violence

• if the time ever comes where he turns his back for a few minutes and comes back to see you looking uncomfortable while some person is trying a little too obviously to flirt with you?

• beat someone’s ass mode: engaged

• he’d come up beside the person and just grab onto their forearm with one hand, the other hand is at his side in such a firm fist that his palms are turning white

• he’s squeezing them punishingly tight as he leans close to their face and asks what the fuck they think they are doing

• safe to say the creep is no longer bothering you.

• poor baby kinda stands for a bit and just pulls you tight into his side, shaking his head and muttering about how shameless some people are

• call him your knight while he’s muttering, it’ll catch him off guard and you’ll get a rare blush from him

• just take him home and cuddle the teddy bear. His poor heart can’t take the thought of some gross stranger taking you away from him.

• the only reason for his jealously is because of his insecurities.

• “what if one day I’m not enough?”

• those thoughts happen less and less as he spends more and more time with you.

• you’ve only proven that you’ll stick with him till the bitter end.

• with your love, and his rock playlist at full blast, can’t really ask for anything else.

[whumpingwithirondad]

Tony & Pepper Have Twins

We both want Tony Stark to get a happily ever after, and what would make it more perfect than having two babies at the same time!

irondadgroupie

Yeah! Just imagine Tony sleeping on his bed, with a baby on his chest and Peter curled up beside him. Or maybe they have twins and Peter comes in every day after school to help take care of them so that both kids would have sufficiently individual care

wordscorrupt

Yes! Peter and him stay up one night when the baby has cold and Pepper's away on a business trip. Most parents would be horrified of having twins but Tony's like 'oh my god i've always wanted a baby and now I get two of them!!" (well three bc Peter is his kid/baby too at this point).

irondadgroupie

Yes! Tony is thrilled he got more than one child at the same time. Like he would have even taken triplets. Tony loves every single moment with them and becomes the most dedicated stay at home dad, ever. I can imagine him doing interviews and just showing pics of the kids and the interviewers love hearing about his homelife and babies. He always refers to Peter "as his oldest, my surrogate son" because there is no use to deny it since so many pics of him and Peter together have arisen and yeah, if he didn't address it, people would think he was Peter's sugar daddy

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When Tony has one of his own babies to take care of he loves bath time so much. He gives them a bath everynight and just cuddles with them afterwards because their skin is so soft and Tony kisses all their tiny toes and fingers after drying them

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Tony's interviews no longer consist of ironman/avengers or stark industries. Rather he gives interviews on baby tips and parenting as well and just overall gushing about being a stay at home dad

irondadgroupie

Yes! Tony is an affectionate father! He is constantly cuddling his kids and loves spending time with them, Just imagine him pushing twin stroller while he (and Peter) do the groceries. He kisses their toes and fingers and through the babies, gets lot more physically affectionate with Peter too. Like when Pepper is away, he has all three of his kids sleep in the same bed with him and they would watch teletubbies in the morning (with him and Peter making fun of the show)

irondadgroupie

Tony's advice on parenting is wanted because he can sympathize with blended families and parents with surrogate children. He has two babies and a teenager (with serious issues). I think Peter and Tony have ADHD and so he can tell the tips on how to help those kids.

irondadgroupie

And the most asked question is "which is harder: rocket science or raising children?"

wordscorrupt

Tony and Peters favorite time Is definitely watching kid shows and making fun of them. Tony is affectionate and constantly telling All his kids how much he loves them. He has about a million pictures of the babies before they are even a year old. Twins one girl and one boy and they are a perfect blend between him and pepper. Yes they go to the store they take the babies to the park as well too. Pepper takes care of the company and during the day tony and peter are with the babies and it just all works out

He answers raising children because there was no manual on how to do it and he can’t learn it overnight. Plus rocket science isn’t a living object screaming and crying st him because he chose the wrong toy

irondadgroupie

I'd like to think Peter would take a gap year after high school and be sort of an au pair to the Starks. Like Peter didn't feel he was ready to leave home (May was angry with the idea but Tony just shrugged and told it was his life and decision). Yeah, Tony is affectionate, he is constantly kissing his children and holding them. The walls are filled with their pictures and artwork. The day the babies are too old for onesies, Tony cries.He is always talking to the babies, holding one-sided conversations

irondadgroupie

Awww, just think of the twins bundled up warmly and in a push swing. Tony also makes them an inside playground in case of rainy days or snow.

irondadgroupie

The audience laughs at the jokes and love seeing Tony so relaxed. He admits he is tired but that having kids is so worth it. He also talks about how SI is expanding to baby products such as highly intelligent strollers but yeah, the talk turns to his kids again.

wordscorrupt

I could definitely see Peter doing that as well. Plus he would get to be spider man without the stress of school and he gets to explore his tech ideas as much as he can now. MIT always has a place for him whenever he wants to start and tony doesn’t even care. He’s like kid ur going to be ceo of stark industries degree or no degree

wordscorrupt

Omg tony loves dressing his twins up.  Buys the cutest clothes ever and not like designer ones even tho he splurges on those every now and then or pepper does but ones that are the most comfortable for little babies as well.

wordscorrupt

When they got to the park tony bundles them up and puts them in the baby swings at the park and pushes them gently and kisses their little nose when they swing back to him. Paparazzi get thousands of pictures of him having fun st the park with his babies and then if Peter is there he’s usually coming down the slides with the babies in his lap because tony says his back is too old for him to do it

Yeah he basically builds an indoor adventure park for his kiddos

irondadgroupie

Yeah, Tony can practically buy him a spot at MIT (although I have been playing in my head with an idea that Peter doesn't get to MIT and sinks into deep depression because, well, why did he waste time at school is he couldn't get into college). Yep, Tony doesn't hire based on credentials but potentials and he knows hands on approach might actually teach Peter more than theory courses. I like to think Tony kept his old text books from MIT and gave them to Peter and gives him private lessons in maths, physics and anything engineering. Tony doesn't care about Peter staying in NY because Peter's wellbeing is the most important thing and if the kid doesn't want to go, he isn't going to be like his father and ship his reluctant child away.

irondadgroupie

Yes! Tony is very particular about the clothes being durable but comfortable and cute. He is not one of those parents who buys expensive clothes and then tells his kids they can't play in the snow or rain. Clint and Laura give them their kids old baby clothes and Peter sometimes goes to the flea market and buys rare clothes you don't find at stores anymore (like the first edition IronMan onesie).

irondadgroupie

Yes, the kids look like lumpy potatoes, Tony is so worried they might catch a cold :D He builds sand castles from them to smash. Sometimes Peter and him go to the local swimming center and enjoy the warm water in the baby pool. Also, Tony would sign them up for baby classes because he wants them to learn socializing and yeah, he kind of likes the attention (being a celebrity plus the only male in those groups)

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Whenever they are down in the lab they each have a baby strapped to their chest in one of those little carriers. Tony kind of just has his nose pressed into his baby’s curls the entire time as he works on a few of his designs.

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One time all three of his kiddos get sick and honestly Peter is whining more than the twins mostly because he uses getting sick to his advantage

irondadgroupie

Baby curls ❤️

wordscorrupt

So fluffy

irondadgroupie

Yeah, the twins are doing pretty normal, maybe getting more easily upset but Peter... Tony considers throwing the boy out the window. "Mr Stark, it's too cold!" "It would be warm if you didn't kick off al your blankets, Jesus Christ Kid."

wordscorrupt

Tony saying this while grumbling as he wraps heated blankets around peter until barely his eyes and curls peak out from underneath the blanket burrito. The babies are just a little bit more fussy but once tony gets some warm milk in their tummies and a nice cool bath they are out for the night and he can focus on peter. Lol at one point Tony’s trying to get a temperature on Peter and he won’t keep it in his mouth and Tony’s like kid if you want me to do it the old fashioned way I will and it’s not gonna be pleasant

irondadgroupie

Peter loves messing with Tony when he is sick because the man is a mother hen "Could you get me more juice? Orange slices? I feel like having soup. I want chips." At one point, Tony takes the kids to a bath and says : "You're an adult, get them yourself."

In Finland, we measure fever from armpit. It's not nearly as quick or reliable as from the mouth but hey, it's more comfortable.

irondadgroupie

How about Peter forgetting about his strength and just bites the thermometer into halves? And Tony uses old kind one which has liquid mercury in it and he is certain Peter now got some poisoning and maybe another mutation because of course he would.

wordscorrupt

Peter pouts as he watches Tony leaves but Tony made sure that he put enough snacks and drinks near Peter if he needs them.

Peter bites the thermometer accidentally and Tony has a near heart attack. He’s drags Peter to the sink to rinse his mouth out while asking Friday to look up how toxic mercury is and already calling Bruce to come check his stupid kid out

irondadgroupie

Tony also took his phone so Peter can call him if anything happens. Okay, I checked what happens if you break the mercury thermometer and apparently, normally it only causes minor irritation but it is dangerous when inhaled so yeah, the clean up is more important.

irondadgroupie

OMG, Think of Tony in an interview when he is talking about his kids "So, my oldest-" "Wasn't he at the SI gala with you a week ago?" "Yes, Peter was my plus one." "We have a pic of him," They show a smiling picture of Peter and the audience lets out a loud Aww (like when Baby Simba is shown for the first time). "He looks so much like you!" "I know!" Tony says with shock. "Are you sure he is not yours." "Yes, we have done all the paternity tests, there is no genetic link between us."

wordscorrupt

The world definitely falls in love with Peter as well. He starts to open up more with more events he goes to and everyone finds him funny charming and nice. Tony’s like “he’s practically mine in all ways but biological though” and then the interviewees show a picture that pepper took with peter and the twins all cuddled up with tony fast asleep when they were sick

irondadgroupie

At first Peter is nervous but with experience and Tony's encouragement, he begins to open up and just steals the audience away. He and Tony are invited to game shows to compete and do pair interviews on their relationship (because the world honestly doesn't believe Peter isn't Tony's secret love child). I like to think that during one mission, Peter lost a lot of blood and Tony was the donator (they of course, have the same blood group) and in the next interview he says "now he is mine biologically also."

irondadgroupie

One of Tony's arms is wrapped around the twins and Peter is resting on his other side. Tony smiles at the picture "That was the moment I had finally got them all to sleep. It was a sickness straight from hell, all had a high fever and were so miserable. I think I didn't sleep a wink during those days because when I wasn't making sure the babies didn't choke while sucking the pacifiers, I had to bathe Peter's brow with cold cloths."

wordscorrupt

Everyone just gushes about Tony being a dad and the photo proves how good of a father that he is. There is still some people that are hung up on his pre-iron man days and send nasty comments that Peter takes and basically rips apart

irondadgroupie

Tony has many haters and the most vicious attack Peter. They make awful comments on the photos with Tony and some rip apart everything in Tony's parenting because even if you love your kids, you might make some mistakes and yeah, everyone follows different directions. The haters comment when Tony carries his kids in his arms, they also send hate when Tony carries them in a babysitter. Someone took a photo of Peter and Tony shopping with the babies and they ripped apart their groceries "How can anyone feed their children formula?"

wordscorrupt

Tony's used to the comments and haters and he's learned to deal with it. However, it's dfifferent and harder for Peter who takes those comments to heart, especially the ones where they are calling Tony a bad dad for allowing his kid to play in the grass barefoot or something or that he's not giving his kids healthy foods

irondadgroupie

Yes, Tony has learned to ignore the comments and yeah, someone criticising his parenting, yeah, not a big deal. But then a pic emerges of Tony with his arm around Peter and setting a kiss on his head and the internet exploses. Most say the pic is adorable but some claim Tony was teaching his child wrong ways to convey love. "You don't kiss your teenage boys!"

wordscorrupt

Tony just rolls his eyes at the comments and has to bite his tongue from speaking back something about teenage sons deserved affection still. He does it more often just to get back at the haters. He doesn’t want to get into anything that’s not important. End of the day all his kids know how much he loves them and it’s all that matters.

irondadgroupie

Yes! Tony would totally feed the haters. Some people got a pic of him kissing his babies on the mouth and by God, that got a backlash about how he would be messing up his kids and yes, some even called the child protective services (who informed Tony and they both had a good laugh about it). Then Tony does an interview and brings Peter along because their relationship is so fascinating. The audience just melts how Tony is so affectionate with his kid, like at one point he fixes the boy's collar

wordscorrupt

Yes with the kissing too. And it’s so cute with tony asking for a kiss from his twins and they just pout their lips and when Tony gets closer they grab his cheeks and give him kisses and Tony just melts inside and scoops both of his babies up into his arms and smothers their face with kisses. It’s just hundreds of photos of him kissing his kids and vice versa and while most are just gushing about how good of a dad he is older folks are like “how can his kids ever take him seriously if he’s kissing them all the time. He has toughen them up especially the boy”

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The audience coos and Peter just takes it in stride because he’s used to all of this now.

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They share a photo of when the kiddos were sick and tony was tucking Peter into bed and presses a kiss to his head

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When Tony gets hate from this it starts a movement with other dads sharing photos of tucking their kids in and giving them kisses.

irondadgroupie

Yes, Tony is so affectionate with his babies. Some people are thinking he is sick because he kisses the babies on the lips. "You will mess up your daughter that way!" "You're making your son gay!" "Is this incest?" Some comments were terrible and Tony could not help getting angry. People could tell lies about him but anything regarding his kids was off limits.

Peter once released a video of Tony watching television with the twins laying at his side and both looked at their father with such adoration. Tony snickered as he caught the look on their faces.

irondadgroupie

Peter was just answering a question when Tony noticed the collar was not properly and set it straight. Peter laughs at the audience's reaction and says "This is what I have to put up with." "You wouldn't if you learned to dress yourself properly," Tony quipped back. "The kid still needs someone to tie his tie for him."

irondadgroupie

And not just of little kids but teenagers as well. The movement gets so big Pepper releases a video of Peter sleeping on the couch with his head resting on Tony's lap. Tony has his arm around Peter chest and his thumb was rubbing the boy's shoulder. "Is he okay?" Pepper was heard asking. "Yeah, just had a little headache," Tony sets a hand on Peter's forehead. "He doesn't feel warm, maybe he just didn't sleep well last night."

wordscorrupt

The twins LOVE tony so much. Pepper filled a video of Tony coming back home after a weekend camping with Peter and the twins are waddling towards Tony with huge smiles on their faces and clapping their hands. Tony just kneels and opens up his arms waiting for the little babies to come to him and they are just giggling and once they reach him tony just scoops both of them up in his arms and just smothers them in kisses telling them how much he missed them. They don’t let go of him for th entire night

wordscorrupt

Yes the movement definitely involves teenagers as well. Tony can’t believe that he’s a part of something that involves spreading love all around. Pepper definitely has more videos like those as well. One after Peter has his tonsils out and Tony is there as he wakes up from surgery. Another where tony is carrying peter up from the lab after he fell asleep there muttering something about how his body’s too old for this but still does tit all the time

irondadgroupie I was walking to the gym today and imagined that the daughter is Tony's princess and she loves pink and anything traditionally feminine, has cute dresses and watches Barbie and Princess movies. Tony likes them too and will argue with anyone who claims those are bad role models. The boy loves Bob the Builder and has his toy tool box and is constantly "fixing" everything from DUM-E to the doorknobs.

wordscorrupt Tony gets haters saying that he's forcing his children into gender roles but the next day his son is playing with barbie dolls and his daughter is building legos and Tony just kind of flips all those haters off.

irondadgroupie But then Tony releases a pic of his son dressed in a sparkly princess dress with a tiara and Pepper's heels and again the haters are on them claiming he is making his boy confused about his gender and sexuality and raising him to be gay. But again, majority are praising his parenting, how he is letting his kids play and yeah, most are shocked his children have a dress that costs like 20 dollars at Target.

[traumathings]

my mother created a habit within the family of “one strike and you’re OUT”, meaning we’re not allowed to commit mistakes. Not once, not ever. Mistakes are HEAVILY punished not for what they caused or for what they may have brought on, but on virtue of being mistakes, plain and simple. After spending a while on my own and unlearning ~ some ~ of the toxic habit of punishment for every mild mistake I made, it’s dauntingly obvious whenever I encounter her or even my sister and they try to act like a simple, easily correctable (? lol) mistake is such a horrible thing that it requires immediate punishment and a lecture.

(long loooong story below for no other reason than I’ve been triggered yesterday and today and I need to obsess about abuse for a bit)

This one time we were trying to figure out how to manage the financial aid my sister received from college, the one I was about to start receiving and my mother’s money to pay our rent (sadly managed by our mother). I made some ~ mental calculations ~ I arrived to the conclusion that my money actually wasn’t needed, and that we shouldn’t be giving up such a big portion of the little money we had to survive because our mother had piss poor money management skills (it takes EFFORT to struggle with money when you have more than enough to support yourself and your children folks, it has to require some skill...)

So I said that to my sister. And while I stand by my idea that our money wasn’t actually needed, and the only reason we were giving it to our mother was because it was CONVENIENT to her, I forgot I had made the promise of giving half of the money I was about to receive so my sister didn’t have to give up all of hers - which was the arrangement that was going on at the time. My solution to this was, you don’t actually need to give our mother your whole money, just give half and she can manage just fine. Hell, I’d say you could keep ALL of it and she would still be fine.

My sister first agreed with me but after a while she strongly disliked this idea. She was convinced (by the powers of abuse) that our mother NEEDED our couple hundred bucks to pay rent, otherwise she simply couldn’t afford it. (I on the other hand, had access to her bank extracts and her full income, and knew for a fact she did not need the pocket change we were giving her. I was baffled by how much money she had available to her tbh).

So instead, she doubled down on still giving our mother her WHOLE money, and was mad AT ME that I got to keep mine and she still had to give hers. (how is this my fault? it isn’t, you just can’t stand up to our mother, who isn’t even living in the same city as us). She came to lecture me and act like I was selfish and she was a saint, and I was like, sis, you’re literally just brain washed. She acted SO holier than thou that you’d think I proposed we dismember babies for Satan. She was dismissive, condescending and rude.

Because she was pissed at this, she told what I said about my mother’s money management skills to her, and my mother, being the abusive horrible person she is, comes to me SCREAMING. She called me SCREAMING all types of shit, that basically sounded like “HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME, YOUR OWNER? HOW DARE YOU CALL ME OUT??”. I had to hung up on her ‘cause she wouldn’t stop screaming and wouldn’t listen to me when I said there was no need for the screams. I was shaking, I was triggered as all hell.

So after this lovely interaction, my sister’s “solution” was to not give me my half of my father’s pension (which was almost nothing) because I wanted to keep the money from college. (we usually used the pension for bills, so almost nothing was left of that. and it was not much to being with).

After stopping a bit and calming down, I actually remembered that I had promised to give half of my college help so that she didn’t have to give all of hers, and even tho I knew my mother didn’t NEED any of that money, I did promise to my sister that I would give half of it, and since she refused to stop giving any of hers, I was like, you know what, fine. I made a promise, I’ll keep it. I’m sorry I didn’t remember it sooner. I also got my maths wrong in the end lol our mother still didn’t need any of the money, but my sister and I actually needed a bit more than I had accounted for. I apologized for this as well, even tho she sent my mother my way when she knew she would scream and fight with me and be nasty. My sister herself never ONCE reminded me of the promise, she just expected me to read her mind, as abusive people do.

After I got screamed at, invalidated, triggered, called all types of things, had people act like I was a horrible person for having common sense and being lectured, I still apologized for the mistake I made.

My sister didn’t apologize. In fact, she refused to, even tho she invalidated me, send my mother to abuse me and acted like I was a horrible person. She came to my room and LECTURED ME because of this mistake, and acted like I was a horrible, selfish person who should be ashamed for making a mistake. And she also informed me that she would STILL keep the money from my father’s pension. I was like excuse me?? That was punishment. She was trying to PUNISH ME on behalf of my mother for daring to call out the obvious and for forcing her into a position where SHE needed to stand up for herself instead of just lowering her head to prevent our mother’s abuse (that she had no problem sending my way when it was convenient for her). She wanted to punish ME. To which I said fuck you, you’re giving me this money because it’s MINE. It’s LEGALLY mine, fuck you and your punishment. (I didn’t actually said that last part but that was the sentiment). 

She eventually backed down, but that was the moment I deemed her Unsafe™ and started regarding her with the same amount of precautions I do my mother, because it was now clear that given the choice, she would stand on my mother’s side and would happily throw me into the fire if it benefited her.

It was quite a sad thing to witness, that even after apologizing she would still feel so entitled to punish me for something that in any other circumstance would have been a simple mistake, and would not care about sending my mother to abuse me and scream at me.

In case you’re confused and wondering, maybe you were wrong?? Here’s how this interaction would have went down if it was with non-abusive people:

Me: Oh, I think I’m gonna keep my money ‘cause ya’ll don’t need it and also it’s not my fault our mother can’t manage the money she has.

My sister: oh, but we actually do need your portion, and regardless you promised to give half of yours so I wouldn’t have to give all of mine remember?

Me: ah yeah, shit I completely forgot, you’re right. It’s fine, I’ll give half no problem.

The end. Our mother wouldn’t even HAVE to be involved. The only reason she was involved was because my sister wanted to use her as an “argument of authority” over me so that I didn’t have the power to make the decision I made on my own, it was basically her attempt to “override” me. In doing so, she brought on a bunch of verbal abuse and triggered me, for what? Nothing, it was a simple mistake that could have been fixed in 5 minutes.

[comicteaparty]

February 7th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on February 7th, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on MK’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Marika Kapogeorgakis (or MK_Wizard).

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing MK’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde by Marika Kapogeorgakis (or MK_Wizard)~! (http://mksjekyllandhyde.thecomicseries.com/)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

Archangel

I'd have to say the first real heart-to-heart that Hyde had with Lucy.

MK_Wizard

For me (the writer), my favourite scene was when Jekyll finally stood up for his niece Emily.

khkddn

that was one of my favorites too

MK_Wizard

PS, thanks to everyone who came. You all rock!

khkddn

it was so sad when he didn't stand up for her at first

MK_Wizard

@lomcia (princess_lom) Please don't do that.

lomcia (princess_lom)

so you want me to discrabe which one i like?

MK_Wizard

Yes please.

RebelVampire

for the record images, whether emotes or w/e, dont get archived anyway. so text and links are always better

lomcia (princess_lom)

So. I like when he said that he won't have glasses on his face. World NEVER ihere is making me laugh

MK_Wizard

Yes, but... I don't feel comfortable when people take "snaps" of my pictures and show them elsewhere. It's something I was taught not to do to others.

If you must share, please share through a link.

lomcia (princess_lom)

Act 2 page 21 when they look into a mirror xD he look so happy in first panel and then when he realised that its not him xD i love it

MK_Wizard

That was fun for me to do that part.

lomcia (princess_lom)

Act 3 page 7! When he sees our lovely Lucy

that first panel!

Archangel

I must admit to having a bit of a crush on Lucy myself.

lomcia (princess_lom)

It was perfect

MK_Wizard

I have to admit that Lucy is one of the characters I proudest of. I worked very hard on her to not only make her progressive, but also deep. I wanted to give her a reason for being as she is.

Archangel

More historically plausible in our world than you may realize, too

lomcia (princess_lom)

I prefer as a female Hyde

Archangel

lol

Actually, have we seen any lady trolls?

Can't recall

MK_Wizard

Not yet.

lomcia (princess_lom)

not yet so there will be xD

MK_Wizard

Maybe, maybe not.

lomcia (princess_lom)

I hope Albert Ode will find nice woman

RebelVampire

for me, my favorite scene is probably the one where jekyll is in the mirror having given hyde full control and resigning himself to be gone forever. and then hyde comes back and tells him nah dude well work this out. i really just loved the subtle build-up looks where hyde is looking at things like the letter jekyll was leaving and such. it was also very touching and really showed hyde's heart through all the huffing and puffing

lomcia (princess_lom)

I like him i hope he never change

Rebel that was so sad scene , so emotional!

I really enjoy as I said Albert Ode, I hope to see him more offten, hes charming

Archangel

I think somebody has her own crush.

lomcia (princess_lom)

yeah, on all trolls Albert and Hyde

MK_Wizard

I felt is was high time the world got a version of Hyde who was good and still "Hyde" enough. In every adaptation I've seen, Hyde is always bad. And the very concept Robert Louis Stevenson had on good and evil was deep at the time, but now, we know that it's not true. What I did was bold and maybe "wrong" to some people, but it's the truth.

Archangel

I like how both Doc and Hyde have a plausible and sensible mix of good and bad personal qualities. Their interplay is more akin to 'The Odd Couple" than the usual metaphors of id vs superego or drug addiction that I see in other adaptations of the story.

MK_Wizard

Ha! Well, I like to think that by troll standards, Hyde doe faced.

I did that purpose too. If we did what was expected and made Jekyll completely submit to Hyde, that would be expected and dull.

No offence to webcomic writers who take that route.

Archangel

Well, tropes can either be used to a good purpose, subverted to a good purpose, or just blindly followed.

khkddn

Robert Louis Stevenson's take wasn't true?

MK_Wizard

If anything, I can tell you all this: between the two of them, Hyde is more dependent on Jekyll than Jekyll is on Hyde.

lomcia (princess_lom)

MK I really enjoy your story, and I would love to chat more but my eyes don't listen to me :< I wish you all the best, meaby when I'll wake up I will answer for questions which people left as a feedback for you

MK_Wizard

It was true for the psychological view of human nature at the time. So he was just as right as everyone else. But now, we have come a long way with psychology.

So yes and no @khkddn

Thanks @lomcia (princess_lom)

Archangel

It's been a long time since I read the original, but I seem to recall interpreting Jeckyl as the superego and Hyde as the id

Which could be considered good and evil, respectively, in a Victorian mind? Maybe? Not really my period of history, so I don't feel comfortable being definite.

khkddn

I interpreted it as subverting what people of the time thought the "professional gentlemanly man" was supposed to be

Archangel

Hmm. I see that.

MK_Wizard

It could be interpreted many ways. That's the beauty of the original tale.

khkddn

the victorian professional gentleman was supposed to be all good and proper, but here we have this guy turning into an evil man at night

but that's pretty far removed from mk's version

MK_Wizard

Jekyll and Hyde had a lot of complex themes when it came to duality don't forget such as having dark secrets one would be very ashamed of for the Victorian age especially.

khkddn

it's a happier story for one thing. i like how your writing isn't mean-spirited mk.

like there are mean people who do terrible things, but it's never framed as a funny thing or as just something that happens in life that we can't change

RebelVampire

yes i agree, i like this is a more upbeat version. not to say sad things dont happen, but i dont get the impression that its trying to be dark and edgy just to be dark and edgy. sad things happen right when they should

MK_Wizard

I'm not into meanness. I find at one point in the media, being mean got passed off as cool. I don't like that.

mathtans

Little one is asleep in crib (again). ^^ Happening place tonight! I got as far as end of Act 5.

RebelVampire

hi math~!

MK_Wizard

Hello!

mathtans

Fave bit of what I've read was probably at the ball, when we get the extra whammy of who Emma was with. I hadn't expected that. Then when Jekyll is trying to shrug it off, Emily interjects, that was awesome. I really like Emily.

MK_Wizard

Nice to see an Emily fan. I feared people overlooked her.

Archangel

She's a keeper, for sure

I had actually forgotten about her since we haven't seen her in a while. If it's any consolation, I do that to real people too.

RebelVampire

oh really? i 100% expected emma to be with him cause the world was really intent on kicking jekyll down. what i did enjoy was her trying to put all the blame on jekyll tho. cause that is something real ppl do when they get caught as such.

mathtans

Emily is the kick in the pants that Jekyll needs sometimes. I also like Lucy for similar reasons, actually (standing up for herself, whereas with Emily it's for her uncle).

MK_Wizard

@RebelVampire Definitely. I see it happen all to often with cheaters.

mathtans

Rebel: I guess I hadn't anticipated that plot point to still be dangling. Really felt bad for Jekyll at the start on account of kicking him when he was down though, like ouch. Also, agree, it was true to form.

Archangel

The hardest thing to blame is one's self, after all

RebelVampire

i appreciated that emily didnt forgive jekyll for the tennis thing and for not standing up for her. cause that was a point where i was glad she was gonna stop being an enabler of jekyll's flaws in a more slap in the face wake up call kind of way

mathtans

Like, talking could still be a thing. I know that sometimes people avoid, but when you're proposed to, I think that's the time to talk.

MK_Wizard

In Emily's defence, what Jekyll did was cowardly and hurtful.

Archangel

Def

mathtans

Rebel: Yeah, I'm kind of in the middle of that now, but that hurt. Since she was always standing up for him.

MK_Wizard

And don't forget. Emily's a teenager. She will have teen moments.

Archangel

He did correct his mistake and learn from it. Credit where it's due.

mathtans

Oooh, spoilers. (j/k)

Archangel

Oh right, sorry

hehe

mathtans

Heh, it's cool, talk about all the stuff. I do this every week, and never manage to clear the archive half the time.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 2. Two major themes of the comic are what it means to be a better person in the face of personal flaws and how one might learn to be better. Insofar, what has been your favorite moment of growth for any of the characters showcased in the comic? What about this moment struck you as particularly strong? In the larger picture, do you think Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde really will continue to help each other to grow? Further, in what ways do you think the two characters can grow further as people? Alternatively, might the two reach a limit where they are no longer able to help each other in this manner? What flaws might both still continue to deal with long term? Overall, how do you think these changes will affect how both characters deal with life, and what can we personally learn from it as readers?

MK_Wizard

I'm afraid there's no way I can answer this without giving things away

Archangel

Good God, where to start. Give me a minute.

mathtans

It's kind of interesting, because Hyde never even had a memory before the transformation. So in some sense, he's a blank slate, and thus everything is growth.

In the beginning, Hyde was doing it for himself, but he inadvertantly helped people. Some part of him must have liked that, because now he does it to help and fight against the system.

Archangel

Okay, so obviously each of our protagonists has a massive, salient character flaw that comes out fairly early on. Jeckyl is too afraid of confrontation, and would rather get shafted than make a scene. Meanwhile Hyde, as @mathtans noted, is very self-centered--in rather a childish way, which makes sense in the context that Mat noted.

Each is well-placed to advise the other and point out that he's being a tool and why.

And -- very importantly -- they can't ignore each other

While each man is far from perfect, we're already seeing them improve in the face of the other's prodding, and finding themselves happier for it

mathtans

They have much to "reflect" on.

Archangel

/facedesk

Bravo, sir

Now I have to wipe soda off my monitor

MK_Wizard

I don't deny that there are tons of metaphors and symbolism in my story.

khkddn

there were earlier times when jekyll became more of a courageous person but i liked in act 8 when lanyon showed up at his door pretending to be friendly and jekyll is not having ANY of it

RebelVampire

be careful with that soda cause math is here to be the pun master

Archangel

Noted

Anyway, to @khkddn 's point, I wonder if it's because it was just the two of them? Maybe J's problem is more social anxiety? Interesting thought.

RebelVampire

yeah seeing jekyll just being like nope was a really satisfying in that moment. like seeing your little boy suddenly grow up.

MK_Wizard

It's a lot of things and it's complex which will be explained more and more as the story goes on.

RebelVampire

my favorite moment of growth is actually when hyde apologizes to lucy. because apologies are legit one of the hardest things to do i think for ppl. because thats a lot of stabbing for the personal ego, and the more prideful, the harder it is. so heres hyde, probably one of the most prideful ppl in the comic, admitting that he said some messed up shit and screwed up. that was a beautiful moment cause taking that many stabs to his ego was a showcase of how far hed come that hed go through such a grand gesture and damage his pride.

mathtans

Hyde also really has no filter when he's talking, while Jekyll has like, massive overthinking of everything before he speaks. It's a live-in-the-moment attitude versus thinking about the future. So if there is a "limit" where they can't help each other, I imagine Jekyll would see it coming.

MK_Wizard

They are opposites @mathtans

mathtans

True. I guess I'm saying that's conveyed well.

Archangel

@RebelVampire it also shows just how deeply Hyde cares for Lucy, that he's willing to basically abase himself like that.

khkddn

i agree w @RebelVampire about that scene, it shows that even if hyde is an opposite to jekyll personality wise, he isn't morally opposite and can be a good person who admits mistakes

mathtans

Speaking of opposites, here's a fun thing I realized. Jekyll loses his job, and his girl, and we feel badly for him. That thug guy Tom ALSO loses his "job" and his "girl" (if shaking down stores can be a job), but because he's on the wrong side of the law (and a jerk), we don't feel badly for him.

Archangel

Well, neither of their flaws are really things that need to be completely removed. They just need to be moderated. Hyde needs to learn a bit of impulse control, and Jeckyl needs to learn to loosen up a bit.

mathtans

Yeah, "Tom" might be the moral opposite.

Archangel

But neither of their attitudes towards life are bad per se, so long as they're not taken to extremes... as they have been doing

Huh, interesting

Or perhaps "there but for the grace of God go I" type of thing?

MK_Wizard

@mathtans Tom is a bad person. Do you all remember how he hit Lucy? Imagine how much worse it would have been if Hyde wasn't there.

RebelVampire

yeah im really interested to see if jekyll's biggest challenge in growing is moderation. cause i didnt entirely disagree with him in certain contexts. like at the party, i was kind of on his side that sometimes just letting things go is better and that theres a time and place for certain...coversations as it were.

Archangel

I'm amazed Lucy doesn't carry a knife or something. Most prostitutes in cities carry something for self-defense (if they're smart), and the habit would likely carry over into working at a bar. Plus Victorian ladies' clothes are REALLY good for concealing weapons. You have to see it to believe it

mathtans

Yeah, jerk as I indicated. Just, similar stuff happened to him. Just thought it was interesting. He's more evil than Hyde is, for sure.

Archangel

Oh absolutely

khkddn

tom doesnt have a cool top hat like hyde and that's why i'll never root for him even if he weren't a bad person(edited)

MK_Wizard

@Archangel Lucy does own a knife, but she knows Tom would have overpowered her.

Archangel

If she'd given him a chance. But I see your point.

The hardest part of hurting or killing someone is actually deciding to do so.

Damaging somebody is terrifyingly easy... if you can bring yourself to do it.

Anyway. off topic.

MK_Wizard

There's a reason she has scars. Like Lucy said, her getting slapped wasn't the worst assault a man had ever done on her. She is brave and tough, but she's not super strong. Lots of men can overpower her and have, but she's not prostitute. She's a waitress, but she is poor so that still makes her an easy target.

Archangel

She started out as a sex worker, though, right? Or am I misremembering.

mathtans

Again, to be clear, I don't think anyone should root for Tom. Just, he had similar stuff happen and approached things in a way that neither Jekyll nor Hyde would. (Very wrongly.)

khkddn

lucy would also need an exit strategy if she used the knife on tom. she would probably have to run away and lay low, which could be more dangerous than staying with him.

mathtans

Lucy is kickass. I liked her remark of an apology shouldn't have a "but".

MK_Wizard

She was a showgirl and eventually had to sort of become a prostitute, but she isn't one anymore.

Archangel

Very true, hadn't thought that through

Seebee

is here to show support

Woo, go MK

Archangel

lol

MK_Wizard

Hey Seebee!

Seebee

Yoooo~

MK_Wizard

Glad you could join us.

You rock!

Seebee

GASP, I'MMA ROCK?!

looks at self

no wonder I got craters on my skiiiin

Archangel

Hope you're a pet rock. Then you get a nice box with straw and everything

MK_Wizard

Just because Lucy is no muscle woman doesn't mean she's a pushover. And now that she doesn't have to submit to people to make a living, she sure as heck never does.

RebelVampire

yeah i think that was a great line, @mathtans cause its really such a simplistic but smart way of weeding a good apology from a bad apology

MK_Wizard

Her having her body belong to herself again is something that is very precious to her.

Archangel

Understandably

Not many people could have gone through as much bad as Lucy has and come out walking erect, as the saying goes. I think that's why admire her so much. I don't think I could ever be that strong.

mathtans

(I'm continuing my read in the background, btw. The April Fools strip with the green hair is a riot. Speaking of bodies belonging to other people.)

khkddn

yeah lucy is one of my favorite characters, she's cool

MK_Wizard

She had to be. No one else was there for her. Back in the day, being of mixed ethnicity was a taboo.

That was the reason she had it rough. It's not right, but... it was not uncommon.

khkddn

if a random person during the time saw lucy would they assume she is mixed? or does she pass as not being mixed?

i'm wondering if this would change how she is treated

Archangel

Speaking for the USA, it depended entirely on the place and the person's specific appearance

But rarely would it be ignored

MK_Wizard

Ha. Well.... she's a cartoon, but if she were real, yes. You would tell because her skin is a bit too dark, she has the eyes and lips, as well as the physique.

mathtans

Just an aside on the topic of cartoons, I feel like it takes a while to draw the hairdos. ^^

MK_Wizard

She can't pass off not being mixed. She's one of those very obvious cases.

Oh ho ho ho. Jekyll's hair IS tedious to draw, but it's worth it because it makes him stand out.

Archangel

Also, her hair isn't right. One of the more dominant traits of African heritage is the way hair behaves--very bristly and stand-outy (I don't know the right word). To get it to flow like Lucy's does, one needs a good deal of product every morning. Or so a friend told me once.

mathtans

Well done, MK. Also for having Emily's be similar, what with the family resemblance.

MK_Wizard

Thanks

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. In the current story, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde have become aware of a mysterious alchemist causing trouble. Who exactly is this mysterious alchemist? Why is this alchemist helping Governor Carew? Exactly what do you think this project is that the board of governors is looking to fund by using the alchemist’s talents? Do you think Mr. Hyde’s previous actions will put the board on extra alert for their investigations? How might this affect Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll’s success in stopping Carew’s villainy, if so? Alternatively, how might the various things the alchemist is able to do (like create gold) change the characters’ views on how the world works? All in all, how do you feel this arc of cases will wind up be solved (or go unsolved)?

Archangel

I do know that one of the standard "tests" of somebody's background back in the bad old days was to look at their hair, precisely because this trait is so dominant.

mathtans

Well, I'm obviously not there yet, but I feel like this was set up very well with the mercury poisoning stuff happening in the background of what I have read.

Archangel

Well, creating gold is always a bad idea when the economy is based on gold. Every mage's guild I've ever seen in any universe has a big fat rule against it

MK_Wizard

In Lucy's case, it's her skin, eyes and lips. Plus, her body type as she got older. Don't forget, coloured people go far beyond the hair and skin.

But back to the subject, it was explicitly stated that making your own gold is 100% illegal.

Archangel

So they have to be either utterly stupid or they don't care about devaluing the currency. Not something for men of means (and thus knowledge of at least some finance and economics) to take lightly

My bad, but my second point stands re: their scheme with the unfortunate chickens

RebelVampire

youre making a huge assumption they understand how the economy works. XD i dont get the impression most of the men of means care, as long as they get theirs and get to have their fancy stuff.

MK_Wizard

Plus, the board of governors have a lot of influence.

mathtans

What about making gold for someone else?

Archangel

I'd like to argue with you, RV, but I can't.

Presumably charged as an accessory, @mathtans

MK_Wizard

@Seebee, you got anything to add to this?

Archangel

Given that we're talking chemistry, though, the other classic thing that comes up aside from gold is some sort of immortality potion. I don't recall any hints to that effect, though.

mathtans

"You made a gold chain for my locket?" "Yes, now it's an accessory."

Seebee

Hmmm... not at the moment

I will be honest, I am ded inside from being out all day))

mathtans

I'm reminded of how Jekyll's first attempts at his formula involved trying almost all elements on the periodic table. He must have certain resources that might be helpful for going after an alchemist.

MK_Wizard

That and Jekyll has the most valuable resource of all: his own genius

Archangel

Mmm. He can certainly analyze any samples or whatnot that Hyde acquires.

RebelVampire

maybe thatll be the next arc, where theyre trying to find an immortality potion.

khkddn

i imagine the alchemist is helping governor carew because he's deeply involved w the plan somehow. it'd be weird if he were just a hired alchemist, because, what're they gonna pay him in? gold?? couldn't he just make the gold himself

Archangel

Perhaps the deal is that they'll put him beyond the law

So he can actually get away with it

No point to crime if you can't enjoy the result

MK_Wizard

It's definitely something big and it also shows how heinous the board of governors really are.

RebelVampire

i kind of think the previous arc has made it more difficult though. cause if i was on the board, i would def be on high alert. all it takes is one guy saying "hey i saw hyde snooping around stopping our gold operation"

MK_Wizard

Actually, nobody can say or do anything.

The alchemist burnt the evidence and place to the ground.

mathtans

Everything probably points back to Carew. That guy is shady as anything. (Incidentally, good job emphasizing his character with that statue debacle near the start. Not a nice man.)

RebelVampire

i can only think the alchemist is in it for the secret project. cause i agree with khkddn, its not like the alchemist needs gold

Archangel

I don't think we've seen any bent cops to this point, which means that the Governors either need enough evidence to fool honest cops (not so easy to fake), or to keep mum

MK_Wizard

It's a bit of both. Not enough evidence and some cops are crooked much to Sgt. Drumwell's dismay.

Archangel

There's always a few, and they always get promoted. >_<

Kei Esteban

Hello! Sorry I'm Late!

MK_Wizard

It's cool!

Archangel

*Hi ho

khkddn

heya

Kei Esteban

Thanks

RebelVampire

tbf its not like these are modern csi times. so theres only so many ways they can analyze evidence in the first place

MK_Wizard

Exactly

khkddn

do they even have fingerprint technology at this point?

Archangel

The techniques were fully established by that point, but not so widely accepted

MK_Wizard

They do have a way of detecting fingerprints, but fire destroys everything.

mathtans

Gotta make themselves a time machine.

Archangel

Wiki "Henry Classification System" sometime for an interesting insight into pre-fingerprint policing

khkddn

ah well to get anything out of ashes i think they would need chemical analysis that doesn't exist yet. it'd prolly be faster to build a time machine yep

Archangel

The problem with fire is that it alters the chemical composition of everything

MK_Wizard

Exactly. The alchemist knew precisely what he was doing.

Archangel

So unless you have research data, it's pretty much impossible to ID the source substances.

khkddn

they need chemical analysis that doesn't even exist in OUR time yet

Archangel

Well, the good guys do have a genius (al)chemist on their side...

Speaking of, @MK_Wizard , is there an actual technical distinction between chemistry and alchemy, or is it just po-tay-to/po-tah-to?

mathtans

Maybe someone will Hyde the evidence.

MK_Wizard

Yes and no.

khkddn

if only the chickens could speak english. then the truth would be out there

MK_Wizard

To explain, alchemy has some spirituality and magical properties behind it. Basically, it was the stepping stone to chemistry. People discovered that magic did have a science behind it and upon further research, people discovered that magic had a direct link to nature.

khkddn

i have to work on a school project and this is distracting me way too much so i'm gonna go. it's been fun chatting!

Archangel

glhf

MK_Wizard

With that, human beings who have no magic invented a way to "use magic" without having any themselves. Alchemy. They would use ways of manipulating nature in supernatural ways and through that, they discovered how to make chemicals and made other marvels through science.

@khkddn thanks for joining us

Of course, it wasn't just humans who used magic. Other races did too.

Kei Esteban

Ah, Other than Trolls and Humans, do you have any interest in having other Races show up?

mathtans

Interesting bringing that up, what with trolls being a thing common enough to be known with police. I wondered too.(edited)

MK_Wizard

Definitely. In fact, you already saw two and didn't know it.

Remember the short guy Biggs? He's a gnome.

Archangel

Oh cool

Kei Esteban

Ah Neat ^_^

Archangel

I still say he needs a buddy named Wedge

Kei Esteban

XD

RebelVampire

thats interesting. cause i was curious why everyone was like shrugging to the presence of trolls

XD

MK_Wizard

The other one is Tyler the redhead, but what HE is... you're going to see

mathtans

Now I'm picturing Biggs renting himself out to stand in gardens during the day.

Archangel

"If I parked a tank outside your office, after a week it would be just another car." --one of my vet buddies

Kei Esteban

I look forward to finding out ^_^

Archangel

(as in my buddy who's a vet. I was never in the Service)

Also, London in our world is one of the most metropolitan environments on earth. I bet it's the same in the story.

MK_Wizard

Most definitely,

mathtans

I now kind of wonder about interracial breeding.

MK_Wizard

It's like the "New York" of Europe in my comic. You'll find anyone there.

Archangel

Just like in real life

MK_Wizard

You've seen it already. Sgt. Drumwell is half troll and half human.

mathtans

Like, troll and human must be a thing given how Hyde and Lucy.... oh, yeah? Hummmm.

MK_Wizard

Hence his human appearance, but he has yellow fangs and his eyes.

Kei Esteban

Settings like that are always nice too see

MK_Wizard

It's also why he's compassionate. He was lucky because his parents were very wealthy so their money protected them. Plus, he passes off as a human mostly, but his eyes, teeth and height give him away.

Archangel

Well, it's for MK to say for sure, but one of the definitions of separate species is the inability to interbreed. There are exceptions, but that's the general rule. It would be interesting to see Hyde and Lucy have little ones, though. In due course.

Kei Esteban

indeed

RebelVampire

are laws applied equally or is there inequality as far as different species go? like is there special laws that only exist for trolls, etc.?

mathtans

Actually, Sgt Drumwell is their child. Eventually Jekyll perfects the time machine and sends him back.

MK_Wizard

lol no

Archangel

lmao

MK_Wizard

Here's how it works. It's generally a taboo socially, but if you're very rich, you can get away with a lot. You just won't be respected for it.

For example... there's another non-human you saw without knowing it. Utterson's redheaded wife Camilla. She's a wizard.

AND he married her without making her convert to his faith/human lifestyle. He allows her to continue living openly as a wizard and practicing her culture.

Archangel

Fascinating. And again, makes sense that people would regard sentient species the way they regarded other races at the time.

Kei Esteban

Well he is a Great guy, so that's not too surprising he would be respectful of her completely

MK_Wizard

Her hair was also an Easter Egg to her race. In old lore, red heads were often thought to be witches.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 4. Despite working together, Mr. Hyde and Dr. Jekyll still argue quite often and risk their own safety a lot. How might their shared injury and pain help or hurt their ability to function in their own daily lives in the future? Do you believe that at some point the two’s shared identity of sorts will be revealed? If so, how do you envision this coming about? Given the growing relationship between Mr. Hyde and Lucy, will Mr. Hyde be compelled to tell her at some point? What about Dr. Jekyll with his niece and nephew? Do you think the two’s shared arrangement with the body will work long term, or will they at some point need to make alterations to their living situation? Ultimately, how do you feel their living arrangement will affect their future adventures, whatever you think those future adventures might be?

Kei Esteban

@MK_Wizard Oh no! They are on too me! (I'm a Red head XD)(edited)

MK_Wizard

Ok, for this... I leave entirely up to all of you. So... bring on the fan theories!

Archangel

Let's see. Well, Lucy absolutely has a right to know. How she'll react, I have no idea.

As to Emily & Will... I think Emily should be briefed in, if only so she won't freak out if Hyde has to come get them to prevent a kidnapping or something by the opposition.

MK_Wizard

Keep in mind. Nobody knows yet.

Nobody except Louis and he's not talking.

Archangel

Right. I think Lucy can keep a secret. Emily... honestly don't know her well enough to say.

RebelVampire

yeah i think as far as a long term arrangement, its not gonna work. because assuming hyde wants to marry lucy at some point, thatd be problematic. even worse, what if jekyll meets somebody. they are fooling themselves if they think this can work out indefinitely. so jekyll is gonna need to put that genius to work.

Kei Esteban

I think it would be best in the long run for those closest to them to know. Lucy and Emily would be a great start indeed

Archangel

Knowledge of the situation would be all that Carew & Lanyon need to discredit anything Jeckyl says, ever, so it certainly can't become public knowledge.

MK_Wizard

Lanyon is out of the picture for good. It's the one thing I can confirm. He's defeated for good.

Archangel

Yay!

He was a good bad guy, though

Kei Esteban

I love how he effectively defeated himself! XD

MK_Wizard

That was the point. And it was also karma. Lanyon got successful by riding on Jekyll's tail and taking everything that was his.

In the end, doing this was his undoing.

Sure he didn't have Jekyll's money to do stuff, but it didn't make being a skunk ok especially because Jekyll really did see him as a friend and would have hlped him.

Kei Esteban

It was such a Creative way to end the conflict ^_^

Archangel

I don't think he'd believe you if you'd told him that to his face. People like that seem to get that way because they assume that everybody's out to get everybody. At least in my (blessedly limited) contact with the species.

Kei Esteban

That's an unfortunate way to look at the world. By that i mean the "everybody out to get everybody" bit.(edited)

MK_Wizard

I wanted to show that there are good and bad people from every social standing.

Basically, different kinds of good and bad people.

mathtans

Back. (Had to see to the little one briefly.)

MK_Wizard

Aww

mathtans

In terms of people knowing, would they believe without seeing the transformation?

Archangel

Good question

MK_Wizard

Would you? I don't think so.

mathtans

It's not like people have iPhones to video record it.

Archangel

That might help them keep the secret

mathtans

I mean, there's the argument of they haven't been in the same room together.

RebelVampire

nah i highly doubt it. in fact, far more likely the person claiming this is a thing that happened would get sent to an asylum

MK_Wizard

Yeah, but... who would believe the two share a body that transforms without seeing it?

mathtans

Though I agree with Rebel that they'll need to figure something out so that relationship things don't become an issue.

Someone with MPD?

MK_Wizard

Not talking (teasing)

I will share one tidbit... At the end of the true end of the story, there will be no loose ends.

For anything. And that is all.

mathtans

Just got to the bit with Lanyon, btw, that you were referencing earlier. That was very clever, coming full circle, and good final shot of him in the mirror.

RebelVampire

actually ya know tbf, didnt louis take some of the potion. you could use louis to show its a real thing

in the sense of the transformation

mathtans

Crazy theory time: Jekyll figures out how to shift Hyde to share a body with someone else instead. Hyde and Lucy decide to become "one", and ride off into the sunset.

MK_Wizard

I will say this now... no.

That sounds romantic on paper, but that would actually be bad.

Because how would they be a couple?

mathtans

Kissing mirrors.

Archangel

That'd make it like that one movie where the knight and the lady each shapeshift, but they alternate states at dawn and can never be together. That was one weird movie.

Good curse, though

MK_Wizard

That sounds like the worst kind of hell for two people deeply in love. To be so close, yet completely separate.

Kei Esteban

@MK_Wizard like Garnet, from Steven Universe? XD

Archangel

Actually, what Mat describes would be a truly horrible curse for a couple. I might use that someday.

MK_Wizard

Garnet is not Ruby and Sapphie per se. She is the embodiment of their love.

mathtans

Yeah, you're not wrong. Okay, so Hyde and Poole...?

Archangel

Poole's not getting any younger

What happens when one half dies?

MK_Wizard

They both die.

Kei Esteban

@MK_Wizard Very True (I guess we can't use Gem logic here)(edited)

mathtans

Yeah, I think that was stated. When they hurt, the other hurts too.

RebelVampire

yeah i feel the fact they share pain and death is gonna be weaponized against them. cause if i needed to get rid of hyde, id go for jekyll if i knew that fact. cause whats jekyll gonna do? slap me a little?

Kei Esteban

then how about Hyde and Carew? (Hyde just takes over full time)

MK_Wizard

You all really hit the nail on the head that them sharing a body, but not lives and such is going to become a challenge.

Archangel

Good point. Though you'd have to bump Jeckyl right away rather than keeping him around. Come sunset...

mathtans

Just to talk about Emily again (because she's cool), I feel like she'd understand, if the truth came out. Though I wonder if she'd be hurt that Jekyll didn't say anything sooner.

Archangel

Ooo, I like Kei's idea. Not sure it works that way, though.

MK_Wizard

And I will disprove the theory now.... Hyde and Jekyll cannot suddenly be shifted to another person. Neither soul is a "disease" you can hand onto someone else.

Archangel

@mathtans I agree. My concern would be whether she can keep a secret. She is a teenage girl, after all.

MK_Wizard

They are a person.

Archangel

And keeping a cool secret is hard at any age

MK_Wizard

They are two people.

Kei Esteban

indeed

mathtans

Archangel: She's pretty mature for her age though. Granted, she's also pretty outspoken. I don't think she'd say anything intentionally, but it might come out in the heart of the moment or something. (Which is maybe why she could accept not having been told.)

RebelVampire

i think emily could keep a secret. now will on the otherhand

MK_Wizard

So all theories of them being put onto someone else will not come to pass because that's impossible.

RebelVampire

will i would believe couldnt keep a secret cause hes even younger(edited)

Archangel

Perhaps with the materials to 'construct' a new body, and the proper spellwork, each can be embodied separately? Sort of a siamese twin operation?

Will is right out at his age.

Kei Esteban

Will being a kid, might even think it's cool (Which he would be right)(edited)

mathtans

So maybe one of them decides to sacrifice themselves for the good of the two of them. Jekyll already tried that once.

MK_Wizard

I won't say much about who can keep a secret, but in my experience, it goes with personality not age.

Archangel

I will say that almost nobody under the age of 10 can keep a secret in my experience. But aside from that, agreed.

mathtans

Yeah, I'm pretty sure Nellie couldn't keep a secret.

MK_Wizard

You've also seen that Hyde would never have that. He's not an active killer. And he loves Jekyll as a brother. He wouldn't kill him if he asked him to.

And taking over essentially does that.

Archangel

I'm not sure Nellie's bright enough to grasp the core concept XD

Kei Esteban

XD

Archangel

Here's a really trippy question, MK: do J&D have separate souls, or do they share one?

mathtans

(And I had to go to the cast page to look up the name, and now I see how "half troll" is right there in Drumwell's bio, nice.)

MK_Wizard

They have separate souls.

Archangel

Obviously their minds are separate, but I'm questioning their spiritual state in the technical sense

Okay, so it's reasonable to theorize that they could be separated and embodied separately. It would certainly take high magic, though.

MK_Wizard

The Hyde Formula has magical properties. For example, did you know that in reincarnation, the soul splits? Hence why some people who get reincarnated can be reincarnated as multiple people.

Archangel

I've never heard that.

mathtans

Well, if the original intention was a sort of "Disney" Jekyll and Hyde, maybe there will be a Disney ending? Somehow?

Archangel

Pillars of Eternity has this whole thing about souls fragmenting, but that's more like chips off a rock over time.

MK_Wizard

In the case of Jekyll and Hyde, Hyde came from a piece of Jekyll's own soul, but it became its own unique being.

Yes, You got it!

Archangel

Makes sense.

MK_Wizard

Keep in mind, even Disney endings aren't always perfect.

RebelVampire

the disney ending will be hyde and lucy riding off in a carriage with the just got married sign and jekyll will come to cause they decided to just make it a threesome

although that joke aside i wonder if jekyll and lucy will ever interact

MK_Wizard

Uh, no lol

Lucy is not Jekyll's type and Hyde would not share his woman with anyone.

Nor would Jekyll do that.

Jekyll is as monogamous as they come lol.

mathtans

Hmmm, and is it too late to ship Lucy and Emma?

Archangel

RV is right insofar as it would be interesting to see how Jeckyl and Lucy get along socially. I imagine that after some initial sounding out, they'll manage well enough. After all, Lucy is a lady and Jeckyl is a gentleman. That goes a long way.

lmao

Kei Esteban

It would be nice to see Jekyll meet someone new, that is actually good for him

Archangel

^

MK_Wizard

@mathtans That ship is solely wish fulfilment and a fan fantasy.

RebelVampire

i more wonder the social interaction cause that could make hyde jealous. if jekyll and lucy got along even if it was totally platonic

Archangel

Actually, someone like Emily would be very good for Jeckyl... in the sense of personality, not age.

mathtans

(I always ship the ladies... ) And actually, the thought that it's a fan fantasy already amuses me.

Archangel

Cue the "I ship it, I don't care" song

MK_Wizard

I made this comic knowing people would do ships if the comic caught on. All I say is that, as long as you accept that it is not the official storyline.

mathtans

Maybe Jekyll can be the best man at the Hyde/Lucy wedding?

Archangel

Only if Poole is the Father of the Bride

Otherwise J would slide down to second place IMO

mathtans

What's official is definitely up to the author. All the best with it! It's an interesting take.

MK_Wizard

Thanks

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Marika Kapogeorgakis (or MK_Wizard), as well, for making MK’s The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Marika Kapogeorgakis (or MK_Wizard)’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: http://mksjekyllandhyde.thecomicseries.com/

Marika’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/MK_Wizard

Marika’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/mkwizard

Marika’s Storenvy: https://mkomics.storenvy.com/

Marika’s Gumroad: https://gumroad.com/MK_Wizard

Marika’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/MKJekyllAndHyde

[queen-of-hearts92]

Revue Starlight 8: Flower, gleam and glow. Let your power shine!

Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine.

For the previous episode go here!

To go to the start of these posts, go to the Prelude!

Wow holyyyyyy shit, that was an amazing duel! A great episode, we learned lots of new things oh yes we did. Hikari was fucking amazing this episode! I’m glad we got to learn more about her! Ok, head on down and let’s go through this!

The title and caption this time is from the Disney movie Tangled, the song is called Heal Incantation. It’s the one Rapunzel sings to activate her hair’s magic. I thought the lyrics fit Hikari’s situation and had light and flowers involved! Hikari also lost her starlight and wants to get it back. So ta dah! \o3o/

>How Hikari got her groove back.

The episode opens with baby Karen and Hikari watching the Starlight play, this episode is from Hikari’s point of view btw. Hikari talks about how the play inspired her and Karen to one day go on stage together. We then go to the opening.

After the opening we see teen Hikari waking up in the morning, she’s at her london school. Hikari’s room is extremely messy. Then we see Hikari’s morning routine; waking up, taking a shower, weighing herself, brushing teeth, getting dressed and eating breakfast. While she’s doing that, we hear via voice over a letter Karen wrote to Hikari. Thank to this letter we now know it’s March of 2018, we know it’s March due to Karen talking about doing the first Starlight play and how much of a success it was. Hikari finishes getting ready for the day, almost leaving without her hair pin. She smiles at the photo of herself and Karen and then goes on her way.

While going to school Hikari voice overs a letter back to Karen saying she will become a star. As she goes through her classes, Hikari then describes her school much like how Karen described hers in episode one. We see a dress rehearsal for the play they are doing, the lead girl appears to be this blond girl who we learn is named Judy Knightly via the play’s poster. Hikari finishes her mental letter to Karen and keeps practicing in the dance practice room. We then jump to a flashback again.

Damn bitch you live like this?

Baby Hikari and Karen are playing at the playground we saw in episode four by the Tokyo Tower, baby Karen is crying because she was told that Hikari is moving to London. Baby Hikari scolds baby Karen for crying and baby Karen is like “but I can’t do Starlight by myself!!”, baby Hikari thinks for a moment and then declares she’s decided to not come back until she’s become a star. That doesn’t make baby Karen feel any better, she cries more and climbs up the stairs to the slide while asking why. Baby Hikari says if she stayed here then she’ll just keep spoiling her. Baby Karen tearfully asks if they can talk via phone, Hikari says no. Baby Karen asks if she could send letters to her, Hikari didn’t have to write back if she didn’t want to. Baby Hikari agrees to that, baby Karen cries tears of joy. Baby Hikari smiles and helps baby Karen up to the top of the slide. They hold hands like they did in episode four and they promise to meet again on the stage, baby Hikari declares that it’s destiny for them to meet again. The two go inside the tower and buy each others hair pins, Hikari picked the crown for Karen and Karen picked the sparkles for Hikari. Teen Hikari says via voiceover she has a passion for the stage thanks to Karen and she knows they will meet again in the spotlight and become stars together. Back with teen Hikari, we see the poster for the play her school is doing and then cut to Hikari practicing. Then, her phone goes off with a very familiar ringtone. Mr.Giraffe is here and calling, turns out Karen’s school wasn’t the first he has visited. Oh shit.

Gdi the pink light is here too! LEAVE THE BABIES ALONE EVIL STAGE!

Hikari is now at the underground stage, the color scheme at this one is blues and greens and the stage has London’s bridge over it instead of the Tokyo Tower. Hikari is wondering where the fuck she is when Giraffe speaks up, in english. Hikari is shocked a fucking talking giraffe is here and reacts the same way Karen did to Giraffe in episode one. Giraffe switches back to Japanese upon hearing Hikari speak it. Giraffe describes what a Revue is and what the auditions are, he tells her about the fated stage as a reward if she wins and asks if she’ll join the auditions. Hikari accepts, we see her on stage with a longer knife and a red cape. She blasts through the audition duels, climbing up the ranks. But then, she loses her last duel to Judy. Judy wins Top Star and Hikari is only in second place. Giraffe annonces the auditions are over and the screen goes dark.

Hikari lost cause she didn’t have a cool hat like Judy has.

The next morning, Hikari starts her morning routine again. But, something is odd. When weighing herself, we see Hikari has lost ⅓ of a pound (about 130 grams. My math might be wrong tho lol). Hikari is confused. We then go to class, Judy is at the top of her game and the other girls comment on it. Hikari is deep in thought wondering what the fuck were the auditions anyways. She looks at her hand, she’s feeling a bit off today. Later, the night of the school’s play performance, Hikari wonders what the fuck the auditions did to her. Ever since the audition duels, she’s felt nothing on stage or while doing theater. No nervousness, no passion, no fear, no excitement or joy, nothing. As the play hits its climax, we see a huge prop hand hovering over her as Hikari comes to a terrible realization.

All of her passion, her starlight, for the theater is gone.

This realization hits Hikari hard. She sits there stunned, unable to continue playing her role, stopping the entire play.

AAAAHHHHAAAAAHHHHHH! \OAO/

We go to later in the evening, Hikari wanders in a daze listing things that weight the same as the amount of starlight taken from her. She ends up at a natural history museum, she keeps wondering what exactly the auditions did to her to cause this to happen. Hikari sits on a bench and finds she can’t recall why she even had the passion for the theater in the first place. But, then she remembers the promise she made to Karen. Hikari cries as she notices that her ability to remember her promise is slipping. She wonders again what the fuck is happening to her when, Giraffe comes to mind. She now fully realizes what losing the auditions did to her. It’s reveal that the bench Hikari is sitting on is right in front of a giraffe skeleton. Hikari quickly calls Giraffe but he doesn’t pick up, Hikari declares she’ll never forgive him. Then Giraffe sends her a text. To the underground stage!

Jesus christ I’ll never look at giraffe skeletons the same way ever again.

Hikari confronts Giraffe on the bridge, she says his speech he makes about the auditions but she adds what Giraffe leaves out. That when you lose, you lose your starlight and that destroys your passion. Hikari says he tricked her. Unfazed Giraffe says that to fuel the wish of the Top Star, they need the starlight of those who lose. Basically one girl wins and the rest get screwed over to grant the Top Star’s wish.

Fucking christ.

Giraffe says he is surprised that Hikari managed to hold onto any of her starlight, so he offers her another chance at the auditions. The next one will be in Japan, Hikari can do it again if she wants to. Hikari is surprised he is giving her another chance and asks him why. Giraffe basically says he is curious to see what would happen if a Stage Girl who has lost everything manages to win and he thinks that will create amazing revues and really would like to see them. Hikari accepts joining the next auditions. Giraffe is like “ok.” and starts descending downwards via the bridge. Hikari asks where in Japan will the auditions be and he simply wonders aloud that Hikari joined “even if one day you have to face her in battle.” Hikari shouts after him, Giraffe doesn’t answer and a green curtain falls on her.

Giraffe standing like that looks like the Tokyo Tower....FUCK!

We then go to the present, it’s time for Nana and Hikari to face off! The title of their fight is the Revue of Solitude (or isolation). Hikari announces her presence as she raises up to the stage. Nana, doesn’t do this at all. The set rises up, the audition duel begins. They start to fight.

Nana comments that Hikari’s weapon is pitiful, she says “you’ve been through a lot of pain, but it’s gonna be ok. I got you now. : )”  and then she knocks Hikari to the ground. Nana points her katana at Hikari’s face and says, “It’s alright, you’re one of us now! : )” meaning that Nana plans to incorporate Hikari into her time loops when she wins Top Star again. Hikari blocks Nana’s sword strike and the scenery changes. Now everything is on fucking fire. Nana continues to fail at being reassuring saying “I’ll protect you from all the pain that comes with being a stage girl, I’ll do it for everyone!”

We quickly cut to see Claudine and Karen are dueling each other at the same time as Nana and Hikari’s duel is happening. Claudine asks how Karen became driven enough to join the auditions, Karen says it’s for her promise with Hikari.

Meanwhile, everything is on fucking fire. Hikari has her back to the wall, Nana slowly approaches her. We see a fucking giant clawed hand has risen out of the the stage, it looms over Hikari, seemingly poised to grab her. Nana asks why Hikari was taking part in the auditions, Hikari gives the same answer Karen gave earlier. It’s for her destiny to be on the stage with her beloved. Hikari shakily points her blade at Nana and describes the day she and Karen made that promise as the day she was reborn as a Stage Girl and it’s their promise that let her have this second chance. She steadys her hand and declares that she’ll never lose again!

JESUS CHRIST HOW HORRIFYING.

Hikari keeps fighting with Nana as she says internally that since Karen joined the auditions she has to beat everyone to protect Karen’s radiance/starlight. Hikari struggles with Nana but she eventually pushes Nana back. And then, she changes the stage. The lights become blue and Hikari holds up her knife, catching the light. The knife glows and shimmers brightly, Hikari’s weapon then transforms and blooms like a flower. Suddenly the entire Tokyo Tower drops down from the sky and crashes straight into the water creating a big ass tidal wave! Giraffe is like, “Wow cool.” and the second half of this fight begins.

Never thought I’d see the Tokyo Tower weaponized but here we are!

Hikari and Nana clash as a wave surrounds them in a water vortex. They fight, Hikari has gained the upper hand. Pink sparkles flash before Hikari cuts through the entire wave, causing it to disperse. Hikari knocks Nana across the stage, Nana has to slow herself down using her katana and her smaller katana gets lost in the process. After Nana stops herself, Hikari throws her weapon into a wall and uses it as a grappling hook to swing herself around the stage. She circles around, pulling her knife out of the wall in midair and charges down at Nana. Nana prepares to strike back. They clash and a cloud of mist shoots out of the ground, when it clears Nana’s cape falls. Hikari won! At the same time, Claudine’s cape falls much to her shock. Karen has won! Hikari throws her knife onto position zero and announces her name. The curtain falls on Nana and a spotlight goes out, the duel is over.

This part was very Utena and also FUCKING COOL!

Two spotlights turn back on Nana and Hikari, Nana tells Hikari that the Starlight play is a tragedy and therefore Karen will be seperated from her at the end of it all. Nana asks if Hikari will be able to accept that and will she accept she has to fight Karen one day. Hikari begins saying that even so, and then she’s cut off by the credits. WELP.

We get a post credits scene, Giraffe sits by the rankings board while it shuffles for its newest results. Maya and Claudine are still at first and second respectively, Hikari is in third and Nana and Karen are tied for fourth. Giraffe is like “wow, those two have risen quickly”, we get a close up of Hikari and Karen’s hair clips as Giraffe muses about them being the fated two. He understands. Giraffe says “I see” at the end card and the episode ends.

Hope the stage is insured for flood damages.

>What the water gave me.

(Why yes I like Florence and the Machine! 8D)

-Well, we certainly learned a lot from this episode! And the audition was fucking amazing holy shitttt! God, this show is so fucking top notch I’m gonna explode.

-Hikari’s song was lovely and wow Hikari’s weapon went from being the crappest to being really cool! It’s a fucking grappling hook!!

-Also heres more water again! Dat rebirthing metaphor is everywhere man.

-During Hikari’s duels in london only eight slots were shown and not nine like at the current auditions. I’m thinking it changes depending on where the stage is. HM SPEAKING OF WHICH.

-This episode showed us that the stage doesn’t stay in one place, it travels. It goes from place to place, school to school, taking starlight from unsuspecting theater kids it lures into taking part in its auditions. It’s likely alive, feeding off of one school then it moves on to the next. It’s probably been doing this for a very long time. I really do think the stage is a living thing at this point, I’ll elaborate on this in the speculation section but I think we can say for sure it can move around in whatever dimension it occupies.

-Related to the stage being alive, LIKE YO THOSE HANDS. First we had this cardboard looking scary hand, like every other hanging prop in the series we can clearly see strings holding it up. Then there’s the second scary hand, it’s a massive stone looking thing coming out of the stage. It’s unlike any set or prop we’ve seen in the show so far, also it just kinda. Appeared, it wasn’t shown how this fucking hand got there! No gears moving, and no strings holding it up. That’s also very unusual, hence. I’m thinking the second hand is literally a hand from the stage itself. I’ll talk about it more in speculation but jesus it was creepy. 

Also! The hands are a pun, it’s a stagehand! Stagehands are people who do behind the scenes stuff on the stage, hence a hand coming out of a stage is a stagehand. HA!

-Surprise surprise, Giraffe doesn’t fully reveal the cost of winning Top Star/losing the auditions to the Stage Girls! So it looks like just like Madoka Magica and Utena, everyone who enters the auditions makes this Faustian deal without even noticing. Jesus. I knew we couldn’t trust that giraffe! I fucking knew it! Now the real question is what the fuck he is even. If he is indeed a Kirin then the hell happened to this one to turn it bad? Is he a giraffe at all? Or, is he just a talking giraffe that loves theater so when the stage is like “hey wanna judge revues for us?” he went “well fuck me sideways yes I do”. Come on Giraffe! You can’t hide who you are forever!

-The truth about Top Star is all the other girl’s starlight is stolen and it’s given to the girl who wins Top Star. The power is then used to grant her wish. Hikari losing starlight, it took a literal chunk from her. The girl who wins Top Star basically throws everyone else under the bus just so they can be successful, success off the backs of the suffering of others. Christ man. This is gonna be a rough reveal cause I do think the others will find out. God.

-Losing your starlight legit takes away all passion and feeling from doing theater. So you feel nothing but apathy for something you know you love but you just can’t feel anything about it anymore and you question why the fuck you even became passionate in the first place. Basically it gives you severe depression, it has similar symptoms. I have depression myself, so I can tell ya for sure that losing starlight very much resembles having severe depression. Symptoms of both depression and the effect of losing starlight are; feeling nothing or only apathy, no longer finding happiness or pleasure in what you normally enjoy, feeling worthless, feeling helpless, feeling hopeless, self hatred, crying spells, having faulty or poor memory, feeling fatigue, weight loss, having anxiety/anxiety attacks, and feeling empty.

Because losing starlight is so much like having severe depression, well that brings up a massively horrible possibility of what happens to the losing Stage Girls after its over. Depression very often leads to suicide, this easily could’ve happened to past victims. How many Stage Girls have killed themselves? How many have suffered this terrible fate? Losing your passion like this sounds horrific, a fate worse than death. Living is hard, especially when you have something like depression. Living is better than dying ofc but suffering is still suffering like, god. Learning this truth makes me very nervous for our Stage Girls, I don’t want to see any of them suffer this fate. I can see why Hikari was so freaked out/scared in previous episodes, that’s scary shit.

Knowing all this about losing starlight it begs the question, what happens to girls who’s entire lives have been the stage when their starlight is taken? Like Maya, Kaoruko, and to some extent Kuro. Do you forget everything? Do you become an aimless empty shell? Are you like dead? Hikari was gradually sinking into a dark place until she remembered Karen’s promise. Like jesus christ, Maya, Kuro, and Kaoruko are fucked if they lose!

-Welp, we know why Hikari has been getting her ass kicked so much during the auditions. She was still lacking her starlight, seems like in this episode she got it back or at least some of it. Enough to beat Nana like wow, get it Hikari!

-Hikari losing her starlight also explains why Maya reacted the way she did in episode one. The reactions I’m talking about are here and here in case ya forgot. Eyes show emotion (windows to the soul and all), especially if someone is passionate about something. So when Maya was able to see Hikari’s up close she was surprised and confused because she saw nothing. No passion, no fear, nothing. She was probably thinking about it the rest of the day because how can someone with this much talent feel nothing? Why even be here then? And then later when Kuro asked Maya if Hikari was rival material and Maya made the heart comment, what she was saying was because Hikari didn’t have passion or feel anything while performing she isn’t gonna even come close to competing with them.

-So this duel was the Revue of Solitude/Isolation. Hikari vs Nana, a girl who has lost everything vs a girl who fears losing everything. It’s quite a match up for sure, the two of them do both feel isolated and alone. Hikari being burdened by knowing the horrible truth and Nana feeling like she has to time travel to keep being loved. Excellent contrast, I like.

-Hikari’s opening flashback take place after the Starlight play has been performed in March. So that means the audition duels at Hikari’s school take place in March. If the time loop is wide spread, that means Hikari has been doing and losing these auditions for quite sometime or this is her first one.

-They picked out each others hair clips! That is so cute aaa!

-Nana sounds very different this episode, like her voice sounded lower and quite serious. She hasn’t lost being intimidating since episode seven and that’s good to see! I don’t think she knows the truth about the Top Star wish, Nana turns back time everytime she wins so she’s never seen what happens to those who lose and turning back time means everyone has their starlight again. However this also means that Nana, still keeping what she gains from previous time loops, has all eight of the other Stage Girl’s starlight. So it’s not surprising that Nana is overpowered due to having 60 years of starlight to draw off of, she was already talented before then so the time looping just made her more so. That makes Hikari’s win against her even more impressive.

-It looks to me Hikari’s gem symbol represents the morning star, which is the planet Venus. I say this because in artwork the morning star is portrayed like that, usually in paintings regarding the greek god Phosphorus the god of the morning star. Stars in general can look like that too in art. And yes I know Lucifer is the other name for the morning star, he has had that label wayyy before christianity took over. The morning star here resembles the greek/roman version of him not the christian one.

The knife also resembles an open flower, in the daisy family if I had to guess what kind of flower. Hikari’s knife blooming the way it did ties into its name, Caliculus Bright (yes the weapons have names). Caliculus is a way to spell calyx, a calyx is a cup shaped leaf that protects a growing flower. Hence her knife resembles one. This also connects to Karen who wants to play Flora (which means flower) in the Starlight play and Hikari wants to protect her, Claire can mean bright so it ties into Hikari as well. It’s also a bonus Utena shoutout because Utena’s name means calyx!

Flowers are traditionally representative of women because vaginas. Things that resemble vaginas are known as a yonic symbol. It’s not the first time we’ve seen flowers as a theme, flower petals are all over the show’s opening. We have Flora as a character present and now we have Hikari’s knife. Hell yeah, I love flower symbolism keep bringing it Rev Star!

-Hikari is the only one with this long tassel on the back of her stage outfit and it looks like a giraffe tail! I thought the tassel was from her previous red cape but it’s been there since the start so idk, maybe Hikari is a furry. ; p

-When Giraffe says that Hikari will have to fight “that girl” one day, is he talking about Nana? Or Karen? On one hand, he could be talking about Nana since he is disrupting her time loop and he hasn’t met Karen before. On the other hand, he could be talking about Karen either because he knows about her via the stage’s brain picking magic or he knows there is a girl Hikari loves and is at the next school but he doesn’t know what the girl looks like or anything like that. I dunno, Giraffe please.

-The play that the theater kids in London were doing looked like it was Macbeth, Hikari was wearing a crown and Judy was dressed in armor saying she was here to overthrow the false king. In the play, Macbeth kills the king and takes the throne while Macduff later comes and kills him to avenge his fallen family and king. That makes Hikari Macbeth and Judy Macduff. It is a bit weird that Judy is front and center then since Macbeth is the main character. The play can also be Julius Caesar, Brutus (likely Judy’s role) is the main character in that one and was friends with Caesar (likely Hikari’s role). Or I’m thinking the play could be Titus Andronicus, would fit the graphic poster they have. But Titus would be an awfully graphic play for high schoolers to do so I’m thinking it’s a no lol. Or this is a totally made up play and only based off of Shakespeare.

Either way I’m getting the feeling it’s a Shakespeare style tragedy, the poster has a crowned heart getting stabbed and there’s fire and shit everywhere. Comedies don’t normally have that kind of thing last I checked. Then both plays being performed at the schools that the audition duels have been at are tragedies. Is the stage drawn to tragedies because more drama equals more starlight? Maybe, I do think it’s an interesting similarity though.

-The locations in London are based off of real places! Here’s a nice twitter thread with all of the places.

-So, during the revue I wonder, who’s stage is that? I at first thought it was the school and therefore Nana’s stage but how it looked didn’t match up. Nor does match up with anything in London as far as I can tell. So??? I don’t know? I mean the set burns the fuck down pretty early on but, weird.

-During the duel Nana says “you’re one of us now”. I believe that means she’s gonna work Hikari into her time loops from this point on. Nana I don’t think you’re very good at convincing Hikari here lol.

-Someone recalling a moment they were reborn as a stage girl happened again! Hikari says she’s reborn as a stage girl the day she and Karen saw Starlight together. We have had Hikari, Junna, and Nana talk about that now. Very interesting.

-Hey guys remember in episode five when Hikari says, “Steal isn’t a word to use lightly”. Suddenly that line became a lot more depressing and darker...gdi.

-So back to that poster. That knife looks like Hikari’s, and the crown on the heart looks like Karen’s hair clip. And the literal stage hand is here. Is this foreshadowing? Jesus, this bodes badly for Karen then. ono

-Hey Nana and Karen are tied for 4th, you know what that means. FIGHT FIGHT!

-For a moment when Hikari’s knife is glowing, it looks like an eye! Idk if that means something I just thought it was cool!

-Here’s something HUGE. Now that we know what it costs to be Top Star there's a big old question here, what is Karen gonna do when she finds out? She’ll have to make a choice, grab Top Star anyways throwing all her friends under the bus. Not participate anymore but it's too late for that really. Refuse the Top Star wish, which we don’t know if she’ll be allowed to do that. Make a wish that involves keeping her friend’s starlight but ya need starlight to grant the wish so wouldn’t that cause a paradox? Or, fuck this shit up! Destroy the stage, destroy the giraffe! Set this bitch on fire! But the stage isn’t gonna go down without a fight I don’t think. I’m very curious to see how this goes. Well, let’s see how Karen reacts first and go from there.

>I speculate that the stage is alive with the sounds of suffering music.

-Here I am again with “The stage is alive” theory! So, the stage. It’s this thing that lives in a dreamlike plane of reality and travels around for starlight/radiance. That’s what it feeds off of, and it’s never full. It consumes, discards, and moves on. And its negative effect is felt for a long time afterwards, hence it’s hand appears on the London stage in prop form. The hand we saw during Nana and Hikari’s duel is the real deal. Every prop, set piece, and large set piece has been shown how they work. Strings on the hanging props, gears seen underneath moving the really big ones, we can see set backgrounds are propped up and made out of wood, etc. But this hand? We got nothing, it just appears. This huge stone thing. I think that’s literally the hand of the stage, reaching out and looming over Hikari. It wants her starlight, it wants her revues. It wants, it hungers. I think we see this hand here cause Nana can summon the hand after being so in-tuned with the stage after 60 years. It’s hard to say if Nana noticed she did that or not but she summoned it all the same. I wonder if we will see it again next time she fights? Or maybe later down the line?

-There's a theory that’s been floating around my mind since it was brought up in the Rev Star discord I’m in a while ago, it’s that Flora is Giraffe. The color red, her color, is everywhere regarding the Starlight play, it explains why there's plant life in the underground cause goddess of plants, and in the opening there is two hidden red giraffes here and here. I know it’s kinda shaky but it would explain why the stage seems to be so deeply intertwined with the Starlight play. The tower that holds the star is in the stage in London and here and it’s in the Starlight play itself. Wild speculation I know but thought I’d drop it in here anyways.

-It’s likely that Maya will find out about the time loops, I mean it’s just too good of a character opportunity to miss! The time loops are against everything she stands for and values and for Nana to trap them in one would piss her off a lot. I imagine she could find out via Giraffe, much like Kyubey he doesn’t tell ya stuff until asked and Giraffe has no reason to keep this information away so. After that she’ll probably want to hear from Nana herself and pull her aside to confirm it. Nana I don’t think will take the confrontation well, she wants positive attention and one of her friends being angry at her is the last thing she’d want. Maybe the rest of the girl’s will overhear this whole thing and that’s how they’ll find out? That would be a neat thing to happen cause I’d like to see how everyone deals with that.

>CALLED IT CALLED IT

I CALLED SOMETHINGS! HERES A LIST!

-From my previous write up: “Hikari maybe has fought before has already had something taken from her, that’s why she hasn’t been super successful during her duels. I dunno, throwing it out there cause at this point I’m very ??? a lot about Hikari.” At myself, nice.

-Starlight stealing theory is a go! Not 100% as I described it but hell yeah! I knew that’s what the stage wanted from them! I still wonder who exactly is the Starlight Gatherer. Oh yeah! And starlight does indeed equal radiance! Yeehaw! Also! Looks like I’ve been calling this for quite awhile. Observe! :3c

--From my episode four write up: “The penalty of losing too much in the auditions is that something important to Stage Girls is lost. I strongly think what they lose is their radiance aka starlight. Basically all their abilities they can use to perform.” FUCK YEAH I WAS RIGHT!

--From my episode three write up: “Or two, my theory about the girls being targeted for their radiance/starlight is fucking right. They are gathering girls to create starlight or the girls themselves are gathering this starlight without knowing it, like waiting for a flower to bloom. Whoever blooms first wins, and is picked and therefore screwed. Oh shit man.” HELL YEAH.

--From my episode two write up: “I’m thinking, because this place is so eerie and ominous, it might be powered by a resource only young aspiring theater girls can give. I think it’s either radiance/energy (hence why Karen was so out of it this episode) or it uses the crushed dreams of other girls to create their Top Star. In the stage’s line of thinking, only one girl can make it to the top and the rest of the girls are simply stepping stones for the Top Star. Yikes right?” I’m cackling omg. I feel so accomplished! \owo/

>I don’t trust that fucking giraffe.

Ok kids, we are now armed with both Nana and Hikari knowledge and all that jazz. The flashback episodes are done for the time being. So, the next step is to see what the future holds. I’m pretty giddy to see what’s ahead! We have four episodes left, so that’s like the length of a two hour movie. Nice, we got lots of time still. I’m, so jazzed. Fuck, I love this anime.

See you on the stage for episode 9!

[omgokiguess]

TW long post about computers, the cloud, other tech bs, etc

i like already know i’m gonna get a B in algorithms. i’m kind of like what is even the point of trying my best because even if i try my best my perfect 90 year old female professor will write such hard tests and there’s just no way i’ll be able to get an A. even if i took her class twice i don’t think i’d get an A. but i also think it’d be pretty hard for me to get a C as long as i just do the work. which i will obviously. so i like.... idk i don’t feel as motivated. like with math i was motivated, i knew i was one of the only people that had enough math background to possibly get an A. and it still did take quite a bit of effort tbh but i did. but with this i’m really like.... no. it wouldn’t be worth it. i’d have to never sleep and even then i just don’t think i could. not with her as the teacher, (basically the entire grade is tests except for 5% homework). but i also know i won’t get a C so it’s like.... i guess i’ll just not kill myself over it and accept the B and not freak out too much. i’m sure i’ll always be over the median still but... it’s still gonna be a B, it just is.

i’m not sure how hard it will be for me to get an A in cloud computing. i think i can get an A and i’ll def give my best in there to get an A. like.... maybe i can? idk if there will be a curve or not and idk anyone that’s ever taken this class or has had this prof.... but he’s like honestly a really brilliant guy. i kind of imagine he won’t give a curve. i’ll actually try my hardest in cloud for sure though.

and surprisingly data analysis.... which i thought would be really hard.... is by far my easiest class and even with no effort i will get an A in that. i actually wish we were going into more math models but it’s more focused on learning R and understanding a meaningful and useful approach to analyzing data. which is fine. but i really thought it would be more math. cause yervand took a different data class and he told me they went through all of these continuous random variable models and that sounded really cool to me but... guess this class is just not the same.

so like i think best case i get two As and a B and worst case i get one A and two Bs. and i’m gonna accept either. anything less than that and i’ll hate myself. just... just no C’s allowed. and also nothing but an A allowed in data analysis.

idk i just really thought a class titled “applied data analysis” would like.... teach us how to properly like..... use algorithms to make meaning of genome analysis or shit like that like i thought it’d be really cool. right now so far it’s been more like analyzing data in databases which like.... i didn’t need a class for that. but the syllabus does say more math later so hopefully it changes. but the prof isn’t even smart tbh. like.... he gets a lot of stuff wrong like i had to tell him that the standard deviation of a normal curve was 68% like... that’s p common knowledge among math people. i have to say though between cloud and algorithms i do need an easy class so i’m glad i do have one. i had no idea cloud would be this hard. the syllabus was like “know web programming!” and i was like yeah i know web programming fuck i know socket programming v well but i’m just not used to programming applications that are made for distributed systems. almost ALL academic classes just teach you to program standalone shit. i’ve really never even come close to doing anything for a distributed system. and even at work we didn’t use AWS at ALL. we literally had like.... 400 of our own servers and since there were only like.... 150 employees, most of whom were not programmers, the distributed aspect of that was kind of negligible. and everything customers used was basically their own problem, we had a support team but we didn’t help operate any of their shit. i haven’t been trained to think about failing resources and i definitely don’t program accordingly. so i’m really gonna have to switch mindsets here.

it’s kind of disappointing that at this point i care the most about cloud tho. cause like.... i thought i was just taking it to learn about AWS tbh. but like.... since it’s a questionable A/B for me where as alg isn’t i care more about cloud. and since data is easy i don’t even care about it. i actually really like cloud.

and my prof for cloud, who is really a fucking CLOUD EXPERT like i won’t go through his credentials but it does blow my mind, he like REALLY emphasizes the cloud tradeoffs and honestly it does blow my mind. he talks about tradeoffs sooo much and like.... idk the tradeoff with the cloud is such an understatement. Amazon’s cloud service totally beats google’s and microsoft’s (actually i think it may have been a mistake on microsoft’s part to even try to roll out a cloud service) but like idk even AWS i’m like.... idk like i just totally get it. i totally get why you’d opt to pay money for AWS. but like..... idk depending how much computing power and memory you actually need..... i feel like most normal tech companies would only save like 5% by switching to the cloud, including absolutely all costs possible, sysadmins, infrastructure, everything. and the thing i don’t like about AWS is performance is not guaranteed. like you’re SHARING resources with so many other people. and.... idk. it’s hard for me to believe that it was a wise business decision for netflix to move to AWS. that’s really hard for me to believe really.

like idk.... i would honestly try to stay away from AWS as much as possible personally. i don’t want to force sysadmins to have to work for major companies that have cloud services, i don’t like the lack of transparency in what/where my shit is happening, etc. but... really.... there are certain ventures i could pursue where i would say yeah i really have to use AWS.

and as for security.... people generally think AWS is safer from a resource failure standpoint but man.... most datacenters are fucking safe and like idk.... resource/power failure just isn’t that concerning to me if you keep your resources up to date and in a datacenter. and i GUESS AWS is safer from attacks.... but is it really? like tbh.... i know amazon has more money and power but like.... your security can really be only so up to date. i mean i guess security does have to incorporate finances in some point.... but like.... idk i just CANNOT think in terms of “not having enough money”. If you’re really confident in yourself.... debt is not scary. You just take money from whoever and have full faith in your idea until you make it. If you know what you’re doing, if you really know what you’re doing, it’ll work. and i really never pursue anything unless i have full confidence. like i can’t think of a time i had full confidence in something and was incorrect, so i’m like .... just not worried about it lol.

[jerkcobain]

How i want to grow this year!

11/18/19 3:35pm

1. Learn to not take everything so personally

I have a tendency to get defensive if someone points out something I'm self-conscious about. For instance T was telling me about parasocial relationships and used the example of me and the garden (lmao) and instead of taking it on the chin and shooting a joke back at him, I took it way too personally and basically tried to argue my way out of it even though I totally do have a parasocial relationship with them and most other celebrities lol.

It's very hard to not immediately react, so I'm going to try to take a beat and tell myself it's not personal and that they're not attacking me. That being said, being sensitive to my own feelings is not a bad thing! In fact that leads me to my next thing

2. Learn to notice and communicate feelings as they’re occurring

This is extremely hard!!!!! But in the long run its going to save so much time and frustration for both of us. Next time T or anyone says something to you that doesnt sit well, just straight up tell him “that hurt my feelings”

This goes for all other emotions too! Good and bad! Tell T when youre feeling tired, sad, gross, and especially TELL HIM WHEN YOU FEEL HAPPY! That way there is no guessing on his part or making him feel like he’s done something wrong when he hasnt AND then he knows that youre having a blast just by being with him!

3. Wear what you want

Don’t worry so much about what T might find you attractive in. Sure he’s not gonna love all of your outfits, but if you’re feeling good then thats all that matters. This goes a little with dont take things so personally, but the next time he comments something negative about something youre wearing tell him “well I like it so too bad” or “i feel good in this” or simply “mind your business!” he will LOVE that you’re being assertive, and you’ll feel way more confident 

4. Become a better listener for T

he’s not the type to opening share his feelings either. In fact he’s much more eager to hear mine. But he has his own stress, worries, dreams, fantasies etc and i want him to feel like he can tell me all of it!

so this really ties in with the first thing. If he’s telling you something that pertains to your relationship, you cannot take it personally. You must do your best to listen and understand where he is coming from. You cannot make him feel like if he opens up that you will judge or yell at him. Make sure to offer him comfort and THANK HIM FOR OPENING UP. 

5 Take a Break

if youre in a heated conversation about awkward feelings and things, don’t be afraid to tell T you need a minute to collect your thoughts but you really want to continue the conversation

leave the room and do your best to calm down. Think about where he is coming from and consider both of yalls emotions. This is your time to make your thoughts clear so that you can communicate to him exactly what you want/need/feel. 

6 Come up with code words for complicated feelings

this is really silly and i saw it in a relationship advice video lolololol but it made a lot of sense!

Find a pattern with your emotions, things that often come up and fix them with a simple code word so you dont feel like you have to explain yourself over and over again but also so that T can understand exactly what youre feeling and vice versa

some feelings i’d like to have a code word for:

I’m feeling really ashamed for not having a job yet and its making me feel helpless and like a burden

I miss my mom, I’d like to hang out with her soon

I miss my brother, I would like to hang out with him soon

I feel like i need a girly/ pamper night

I feel gross for no apparent reason and i probably just need to wash my face but i promise it has nothing to do with you

something news/politics related has upset me and it has nothing to do with you

I’m feeling really insecure about my body rn could you compliment me

I’m feeling really insecure about my body rn pls do not mention my appearance in any way

I’m feeling really sexy and playful

I feel really uncomfortable in this situation can we leave

I am tired of socializing can we leave

I am having a really good time and i would like to stay longer than planned

I’m really tired and not really in the talking mood

I’m really tired and i just want to be quiet by myself for a bit

We’ve entered into a topic that is very serious and tricky (example: # of children we’ll have/ are we having a wedding etc) and i am not in the right frame of mind for it

I am tired of being in this room but i also dont want to leave the bed

I am tired of being in this room and i would like to leave

I dont want to talk about my day, something happened that bummed me out

I dont want to talk about my day, but everything is okay

I feel lonely, its probably bc we’ve both been on our phones for a while or bc you’ve been gaming

I dont know what to wear and i want you to genuinely tell me which outfit you like better

I dont know what to wear and i do not want your input

I have feelings to share and i want your advice

I have feelings to share but i just want you to listen and comfort me

I feel like i’m being annoying and i am sorry

I cannot match your energy level rn please do not take it personally

I am fucking hangry and i’m going to kill myself and every one near me if you talk to me

I am approaching hangry, sorry if I seem quiet or distant i just need to eat

I want to listen to music but i dont know what i want to hear and i also dont want to interrupt your radio time lol

You’ve been playing games for a while now and i miss you

Please keep playing your game i am having fun by myself

You have really hurt my feelings and i need a minute to myself and i love you

I am confused by my own emotions and I need a minute to figure them out

Please stop making fun of what i’m wearing, I felt really cute and now i feel ugly

I feel extremely stressed and anxious and i might snap at you I’m really sorry 

I’m really worried about you and i would like to know what is on your mind

I’m really worried about you and I think it has something to do with me but I’m not sure

I do not know how to comfort you rn and I’m sorry but could you tell me what you need/ want from me so you can feel better

I feel depressed right now and there is nothing you can do

I feel depressed right now but theres something you could do to help

I feel depressed right now and i do not know how i want to be comforted

I feel depressed right now and i have no idea what caused it or how to make it better

I know you were only joking but i took it personally and hurt my own feelings 

I have been thinking about something you or I did/said a while ago and I know i should have said something back then but its been bugging me so can we please have a conversation about it now

I hate all of the clothes that i own rn and this outfit was the best that i could do but i still feel really ugly pls be nice to me lol

I think I just said something really mean and i instantly regret it and I would like to apologize to you

I didnt realize what i just said/did was mean and i will try to avoid saying/doing that in the future and i would like to apologize

I feel like this argument might escalate and i am not ready for it

I am in an argumentative mood, i’m sorry please just dont talk to me

I feel like this conversation got out of hand and is now an argument but i am not sure how it happened and i would like it to stop and hug you

I’m feeling really homesick even tho i am already home

I am overthinking the hell out of this and i need you to talk me down but please do not be condescending or tell me to “stop worrying”

I know i asked you to explain this thing to me but you sound really condescending

I just fucked up a really basic math problem, be nice to me bc I am already threatening myself with suicide lol

lol okay i’ll stop there but i will add to the list the more i think about it