#even tho it was a lil owie to write yo

[adamarks]

For the ask game, this passage from the lover walks away in the night- From “I’m a rock; I can’t play anything” to “it’s time to finish Baz.” Thanks!!!💕💕💕

Wow, look at this reasonably sized passage for me to put dvd commentary on. Very sexy of you to not ask me to clog up ppls dashes with an entire fic, Anon.

Read The Lover Walks Away In The Night here on ao3

I’m a rock; I can’t play anything.

As you probs know, bri n I wrote this fic as a back and forth pingpong thing. The whole thing underwent very light editing and was really just a project for the two of us. Our sleep schedules were ass backwards so we’d get to wake up everyday like “what did that lil fucker write. How much r they gonna hurt me.” It was probably one of my favorite fic writing experiences ever.

So, for this line, I think I double checked with them to like. Make sure that was also where they were wanting the story to go. I remember that I wanted this scene to feel like a sort of turning point in both Baz and the audience’s eyes I guess. Bc before this Baz didn’t know that Simon thought of him as a real autonomous being. And it had been implied but not 100% obvious to the audience, I feel, that Simon really just wanted Baz to have freedom and be his own person. Like.... it wasn’t about sex. Even the sex wasnt about sex. It’s “I want you in every way. I want you in any capacity you have to give.”

I stare at the side of his face and toss my book somewhere. I hear it hit something, but I don’t care.

I was really proud of this bit. Made myself giggle.

“Baz,” I say it out loud. Just because I know what he’s thinking doesn’t mean he knows what I’m thinking. “Baz, I—“

It’s about the communication.

What do I say? He is a rock. He’s not just a rock. He—

He’s my sexy rock boyfriend!!! 😫

He—

Y’know while I have u here, I actually had this whole thing planned in my head where The Mage was actually a mob boss and like Simon inherited a shit ton of money from him so he was just this independently wealthy art rat in the 40s fucking a rock. I’m glad this didnt make it in but there u go.

“Next time let’s be birds. We can go wherever we want, then.”

I put this line in specifically to hurt bri. It’s a line for bri. All other casualties of this line are coincidental collateral damage.

I kiss his jaw and turn around so I’m holding him, the best that I can.

I just wanted this bitch face to hold this stupid statue so fucking bad.

“I’m sorry,” I tell him. For everything. For the things I can’t give. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.

“For the things I can’t give” and then literally he just needs to give him a kiss lmfaoooo. Nah but fr Simon maybe consider that ur enough as is.

I’d give everything I have so you could go where you want and do what you want. It doesn’t matter if I’m with you or not.

The point, u guys, is genuinely wishing for someone else’s happiness, whether you can share in that happiness or not.

-

It’s time to finish Baz.

I think here actually bri was like “yo we gotta move this along” the day before. So like. We be moving shit along. Also this was the perfect time to keep trucking bc. Even tho he only has that subconscious mental link, he realizes that need for ANY autonomy. Like consent in a story that doesn’t leave room for much consent, like Pygmalion, was very important to me. Like I wanted it to be obvious that even if Simon doubted himself, in the moment he, we, and Baz knew he had permission to be getting up to his antics.