#even say it. the narrator knows they’re in a tough spot but is too afraid to do anything so is just stuck waiting for the other shoe

[m0th-gh0st]

Thinking about the crane wives and how a lot of the songs in beyond beyond beyond have themes of someone hoping for a better life but it’s only in black hole fantasy when they’re at absolute rock bottom that they finally reach out and take that better life for themselves

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #216: “... To Avenge the Avengers!”

February, 1982

"Avenge us, Tigra! The Molecule Man must die!”

Eesh, the Avengers plus Silver Surfer have gone full Hamlet’s Dad on Tigra and she’s gonna cat Molecule Man and his plush himself to death. But he’s ready for it.

But why? Well...

Last time: Silver Surfer inadvertently gave Molecule Man the idea to eat Earth. The Avengers and the Surfer teamed up to stop him but he just Molecule Manned their sweet gear into nothing, captured them all, and then stomped them under a giant boot-o-matic crusher! Except Tigra who he kept around because he wanted someone to talk at and because Tigra had claimed that she liked him!

This time: “Tigra... the Last Avenger!”

Nice touch that the book name inside the book has been changed to match even if the cover hasn’t.

That is a tough hat to wear. Did you know its only been a little over a week since she joined the team?

And in that time she got thrown into space by an Elf-Queen, watched a founding Avenger have an emotional breakdown and try to kill his friends to make them like him again, had her soul set on fire, been repeatedly harassed in public, and watched the whole team be killed with her life only being spared because she begged for her life!

Is this the worst week and change in Avengers history? IT MIGHT WELL BE!

“She was spared. The fear of death has drained away now, leaving only emptiness behind. She has never felt so alone.”

This narration set in the same panel where Molecule Man is all but slapping the giant boot and going ‘this bad boy can crush so many fucking Avengers in it.’

Well really, its more like

Molecule Man: “Well, cat-lady, they’re dead! Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, and that Silver Surfer guy -- squished flat by my giant boot-o-matic crusher! You know, I made this thing out of molecules from a scrapyard! Yessir, I believe in recycling!”

But that’s about the same level of dissonance between jolly goofus villain rambling and hollow despair.

Anyway, Molecule Man calls her out on being such a bummer because she’s moping over there when he’s feeling good about killing the Avengers and really Tigra try to consider how he feels geez.

So she shakes off the despair and asks hey what exactly is Molecule Man going to do with her?

Tigra: “Am I going to be your mate or...”

Molecule Man: “What? Nah! I never got along with girls! I mean, you know... that way! Yessir, mom always warned me about... that! And she was right! You can be my friend! No! Make that -- my pet! Here, kitty, kitty!”

Wow.

That. That dodged a bullet in a cool Matrix bullet time way right into another bullet.

Let’s please not get too creepy with this, huh? You listening to me, comic published nearly forty years ago? Let’s not get creepy!

Molecule Man decides to be a responsible pet owner and feed his pet. He can control molecules so obviously it should be no trouble to just rearrange them into any configuration he--

Okay, its apparently really hard to make food! Way too complicated!

He’s going to be an irresponsible pet owner and not feed Tigra. And meanwhile he’s going to chow down on some undifferentiated mush or possibly a pile of dust. Its all molecules so its all the same to him.

Tigra didn’t even want food but asks him where the bathroom is.

Molecule Man: “Bathroom? Hmm... well, I really don’t understand how plumbing works, so I couldn’t make a bathroom! If you want, though, I could sort of fake it...”

Tigra: “No, I’ll be all right! i just feel a little sick...”

Molecule Man: “So go be sick for a while! I’ve got to get started on my little project anyway! If I’m going to eat this stupid planet -- I’ve got to prepare by clearing away all the living things from a few square miles of land.”

And he gets started! A giant ridge of land just peels up from the ground, like Molecule Man is skinning a fruit before eating. Also a volcano erupts. Pretty sure there weren’t any volcanoes in New Jersey before now.

Fairly sure.

Outside the dome, thankfully the army has been evacuating everyone in a fifty-mile radius or else a lot of people would be dead. VOLCANO.

Then the Fantastic Four arrive.

Yayyyyy! Oh whoa whoa, Fantastic Fourrr!

They’ve got the best Molecule Man mashing record so they’re here to do what they do do.

Which in this context is fail like champs.

Ben Grimm the Thing tries to shatter the dome with a punch and no dice. Then Human Torch cranks up to nova flame and applies the heat of a sun on one little spot on the dome.

Johnny about wears himself out doing it and still no result.

Guess Iron Man, Thor, and Silver Surfer > a pinpoint miniature sun.

Meanwhile inside, Molecule Man tells Tigra hey get a load of this. And then he levitates a couple billion gallons of water from the Delaware River and dumps it on the Fantastic Four, plus the army, washing them away.

Invisible Woman: “Reed, it -- it doesn’t seem possible!”

Mr. Fantastic: “Everything is made of molecules, Sue! Anything is possible for the Molecule Man!”

Molecule Man far too hax.

But meanwhile, gasp, the Avengers weren’t actually all killed in a book with their name on it! This is unprecedented!

And Silver Surfer is ready to explain their unlikely survival of giant crushing boot.

See, Silver Surfer wasn’t quite as knocked unconscious as the three Avengers so he played possum. When Molecule Man put the Avengers plus Silver Surfer in the crushing boot and when it was just about to crush, Silver Surfer used the Power Cosmic to disintegrate the bottom part of the boot so that the Avengers and him fell to a lower floor. Completely uncrushed!

So that’s good.

The bad is that Silver Surfer has to report that Tigra is still in Molecule Man’s clutches.

The awkward is that Iron Man and Thor lost their armor and hammer respectively so Cap is like ‘wait, what are Tony Stark and Perfectly Normal Dr. Donald Blake doing here??’

So Tony and Don come clean about his secret ID.

Tony Stark, Actually Iron Man: “I feel a little foolish about keeping that secret from you till now! I’m sure Don feels the same way...”

Donald Blake, Dr. Thor: “Right, Tony...”

So now Cap is in on the secret which previously bound Tony and Don together as the Best Friends Avengers Who Aren’t Beast and Wonder Man.

Remember when they discovered each other’s secret IDs? Good times. Well, weird times. That was the issue when that hates-robots group suicide bombed Vision for dating a meat woman.

Also, Tony was only wearing underwear under the Iron Man armor so Don gave him his suit jacket to wear as a loincloth. Mighty nice of him.

Silver Surfer has just been standing on the sides not caring about all this secret ID nonsense or personal drama so he chimes in to point out that Molecule Man is going to eat the planet unless they stop him.

Cap decides that he and the Surfer have to strike before Molecule Man realizes they’re alive. Tony and Don have the important mission to hide somewhere safe.

Tony and Don object to being sidelined. Strongly.

Tony: “You think Iron Man is just a suit of armor, Cap? Is that what you’re saying?”

Don: “I found this rod to use as a makeshift cane! It won’t change me into a thunder god, but it’ll help me get around -- if only to draw fire!”

Tony: “Like it or not, we’re with you!”

Don: “The Avengers stand assembled, Captain America! Now, lead us!”

Cap: “All right! I get the message! I should have known better than to think you’d -- I mean, you two are the best...”

Tony: “Save it, Cap! We’ve got work to do!”

Aww.

This is everything I could have hoped for out of secret ID reveal. Cap starts thinking of them as civilians now that they have real person names but ultimately it brings them closer as teammates.

I love it. Granted, I love it because my favorite form of Avengers is a group of friends and set of interpersonal dramas roughly shaped like a superhero team.

Later, in the nighttime and in the room that Molecule Man made for Tigra.

... Wow, Molecule Man.

Wow.

So we’ve got a giant cat shaped bed. A giant, terrifying cat head on the wall. And a giant ball of yarn. But not giant sized cat tree? Fie and shame.

Anyway, Tigra is sitting on bed lamenting and decrying the Fantastic Four’s failure. Especially as it pertains to her situation.

Tigra: “I -- I just can’t believe the Fantastic Four failed! How could they let me -- and the world down like that? How could they? Right now, Reed Richards is probably locked in his lab trying to invent a gizmo that’ll pierce the dome! Hmf! Who knows how long that might take? The Molecule Man plans to eat the Earth tomorrow morning!”

Nothing like a nice filling breakfast, I guess.

She grants that Reed doesn’t know there’s an everyone’s-deadline so instead Tigra bemoans that it’s all up to her.

Tigra: “I should have tried to jump him today! I can’t believe I didn’t! I was standing right next to him a couple of times! I’m cat-quick! Why didn’t I lunge at him and claw him to shreds before he could move? Could it be because my muscles felt like jelly -- ? I was trembling -- ? In shock -- ? Afraid of him? Hey, shouldn’t I be? I mean, I saw him crush my friends to a bloody smear! And I had a spooky feeling that he was somehow, secretly ready for an attack -- and hoping I’d give him an excuse to dice me into furry cubes!”

And because this is a Tigra character beat page, she also thinks about how easy the hero gig used to seem when it was for smaller stakes. But with the actual literal fate of the world at stake... “I never thought that when the big test came I’d be a scaredy cat!”

But she remembers what Cap said during the Ghost Rider story that its not wrong to be frightened if you don’t let fear dictate your actions.

So she creeps out into the night to Molecule Man’s bedroom.

Oh, that’s a neat touch.

Her shadow on the wall looks a lot like a tiger because her hair curls at the end like a tail.

Neat.

So anyway, she doesn’t understand how Molecule Man can be so confident that he’s just sleeping with his door wide open and with no defenses and wonders if there’s a trap or whether he’s just counting on her to think that there’s a trap.

She’s about five seconds from a full-blown I know you know that I know that you know episode.

The only way to find out is just go for it so she creeps into the room. The garish room.

This is even more wow than Tigra’s room.

But as she creeps into the room and up to the enormous, ridiculous bed, she realizes that she has to kill him. If she attacks and doesn’t kill him with the first strike, what he could do is too horrible for her to imagine.

But what she doesn’t realize is that Molecule Man isn’t sleeping soundly and isn’t unprepared. 

He’s stretched monomolecular filaments across the room, too thin for even Tigra to spot.

Now usually monomolecular filaments is one of those ‘oops I’ve been cut to pieces by invisible wires’ thing. You’ve probably seen it in a couple of anime. But this is more like a bunch of cans on a string.

Tigra breaks one of the filaments while she creeps forward. Something that she couldn’t possibly know but which instantly alerts him.

And his response is a “Oh, ho! Just wait’ll she tries it! This’ll be fun!”

Because Tigra’s instinct was correct. Molecule Man was keeping her around just to kill when she finally tried anything. Its been a game. See how far he can push Tigra and how messily he can deal with her when she loses.

This is pretty tense stuff! Well, it lasts a page so it doesn’t overfocus on this specific tense scenario but still!

Tigra: “I’m in range! All I’ve got to do is spring and... and kill him! He murdered my friends! He’s going to destroy the whole world! I’ve got to kill him! Come on, lady! Do it! What’s wrong? He deserves it! He’s a murderer -- ! A rotten little wimp! He calls you ‘kitty’! Kill him! I hate him! I hate him! but... i just can’t kill him!”

And apologizing to Cap for not being able to go through with it, she slinks out of the room trying to think of another way.

Inside the room, Molecule Man sits up disgruntled, just not understanding at all why she didn’t go through with it. There’s no way she could have known that he was ready for her so why wouldn’t she try to do a murder!

And then as Tigra is wishing she had someone to talk to, someone grabs her and pulls her around a corner.

Boom, a comedy after all that one page of tension.

And it’s Cap because there’s like four people it could have been.

Tigra is elated that the Cap is alive, that she’s not alone anymore! And she tries to confess that she attempted to kill Molecule Man to avenge the Avengers. That maybe she should have because now she might lose them again!

Tony: “You did fine, Tigra! Relax!”

But she doesn’t feel like she did fine so she tries to explain that she let the Avengers down by giving into cowardice. She told Molecule Man she liked him to stay alive.

Cap: “Good strategy, Tigra -- preserving your life so you’d be able to carry on the battle!”

She tries to explain it wasn’t strategy so much as being terrified but she gets distracted because she’s just realized that in this group of Cap and Silver Guy there’s two people she doesn’t know.

Cap: “Dr. Don Blake, who’s secretly Thor and Tony Stark who is Iron Man’s alter ego!”

Her mood immediately flips.

Tigra: “You guys are really Thor and Iron Man? Really? And it’s okay for me to know? Really?”

Tony Stark: “Why not? Somehow those secrets seem pretty trivial, what with the world on the verge of being the Molecule Man’s breakfast!”

He says that but he still looks pretty annoyed at Cap just blurting it out.

And geez, Cap, you gotta let people reveal their own secret identities. Or make up some dumb excuse that everyone instantly believes.

Its the done thing.

In terms of Avengers drama though this is pretty good. Thor, Cap, and Iron Man have been working together for a really long time. Even though Cap didn’t form the Avengers he’s basically been there so long they consider him an honorary founder.

Cap learning Iron Man and Thor’s secret identities can be a ‘we should have told you sooner!’ thing.

Tigra just joined the team! Like a week ago!

They need to work together now and there’s probably no smooth lie that could paper over where Iron Man and Thor went and why these two are here now but its probably still a little galling that Cap just blurts it out to the newest person on the team.

Its great. I’d love to see the repercussions of this.

Anyway, time is short so Tony gets to explaining the plan.

He found his broken armor and managed to scavenge enough bits and pieces to make a little device he’s calling a screamer. It’ll emit a high-pitched noise that should disorient Molecule Man.

And then the device just poofs into smoke in Tony’s hand.

Whoops, Molecule Man overheard their plan to beat up Molecule Man and also heard Tony call him names.

So he pulls together all the loose dust in the room and uses it to strangle Tony.

Wow, they’ve gone from having a “layered assault” to watching someone literally choke on Molecule Man’s dust. That’s got to be the quickest turnaround from hope to nope.

Tigra goes wild, rushing at Molecule Man and screaming that she shoulda killed him before and she’s damn well going to scratch his face off now!

But Molecule Man asks her to talk to the hand. Zing.

Puns.

Although “Don’t scream at me, Kitty! ‘Cause I’ll slap you down!”

Sure. That’s good wordplay too.

Having just been comedically (although seriously) WHAP!’d across the room, Tigra has her own words to say.

Tigra: “You -- you weak, slimy excuse for a human being! How could I have stooped so low as to humble myself to garbage like you? So you’ve got power! Big deal! You were a nerd before -- you’re still a nerd! You were a mistake! You shouldn’t even have been born! You crybaby! All you do is blame the world for your own inedequacy! Go on, kill me, nerd! I despise living in the same world with you!”

Wow. She really took all those personal details he shared and slapped him upside the head with them.

Goes to show. Don’t try to destroy the world. People will have rude things to say.

Meanwhile, Cap and Silver Surfer are trying to save Tony but can’t clear the super condense dust faster than Molecule Man gathers it.

Cap tells Tigra to get Molecule Man because that’s their only chance but Tigra is too hurt from being slapped by a giant hand.

Molecule Man: “I’ve got to hand it to you guys, it must’ve taken some doing to escape my crusher! This time, I’m going to make sure you’re dead! Hmm... someone’s missing! But who?”

And he’s done process of elimination and realized that the guy Thor turned into is missing and figures he ran away when Entirely Normal But Furious Dr. Donald Blake tells Molecule Man to grit his teeth.

And then Molecule Man runs off yelling because Dr. Donald Blake can throw down. He possibly broke Molecule Man’s nose with that one punch.

Good job, Dr. Donald Blake.

With Molecule Man not focusing on the dust thing, Tony is free of the dust thing but unconscious. Dr. Donald Blake tells the others that he’ll take care of Tony and that they should go chase Molecule Man since they can run better than he can.

So Cap, Tigra, and Silver Surfer go off in pursuit of Molecule Man.

Silver Surfer reminds that he can track Molecule Man’s unique energies. Cap helpfully points out that they can also just track the trail of blood drips from Molecule Man’s nose. And Tigra goes ‘also I can smell him’ because its good to have three different ways to find a guy.

They find him in some sort of throne room (curled up in pain on the throne) and charge at him. But he’s not in the mood for their shenanigans.

So he sends a tidal wave of molecules at them.

Cap shouts for Silver Surfer to do something and he does do something indeed.

The Surfer blasts the wave of matter with the power cosmic so hard that it transmutes into raw energy and just explodes through the top of the palace in a beautiful pyrotechnic display.

It also completely exhausts the Surfer and he just kind of plops down for a nap right there on the ground.

Cap tells Tigra to watch the Surfer and then goes to take the Molecule Man on alone.

This isn’t a great plan but also their already small roster has kind of dwindled to this point.

And maybe Cap sort of doesn’t want to throw Tigra at Molecule Man when she’s already been hurt and was voicing all those doubts earlier. Can’t say for sure. She’s about to offer for help but Cap is like ‘WHOOPS NOW OR NEVER!’

Molecule Man must be in a whimsical mood, I mean more so than usual have you seen what he’s been getting up to? Because he converts some of the furnishings into a bunch of stars to shoot at Cap.

Its funny because Cap wears a star. It’d be ironic if he got smacked in the face with one, probably.

But Molecule Man activated Cap’s speechifying and that buffs him because nobody likes hearing Cap talk about freedom and justice and doing right more than Cap probably.

What I’m saying is that he leaps and gambols between the stars and I feel its because he has Stuff To Say that he’s doing so well.

Cap: “You make me sick, mister! They say power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely,  and you’re living proof of it! You might kill me! After all, I’m just an ordinary man -- but men like me have always found a way to bring high-and-mighty tyrants like you to their knees! There’s never enough power to save madmen like you -- from ultimate, bitter defeat!”

WAK!

And perhaps it wasn’t just his agility that was improved by inspirational speeching himself. Because he knocks Molecule Man down with that one punch and he doesn’t get back up.

Or maybe Molecule Man just has a glass jaw.

Don Blake and Tony Stark show up and Silver Surfer wakes up but he runs in with the rest anyway for some reason. Tony tells Tigra to watch Molecule Man while he has an Important Debate with Cap.

See, Tony has realized something. Knocking down Molecule Man is just the first step. If Molecule Man gets back up, he might start eating the Earth again and the Avengers might not be able to stop him.

So he asks Don Blake if there’s a medical way to just sort of keep Molecule Man knocked out.

Don Blake: “How? We can’t just keep hitting him on the head -- this isn’t a T.V. show! I mean, how hard do you hit him? How many times can you do that before causing serious brain damage... or death?”

Realism? In a comic book? What are YOU doing here??

Anyway, Tony doesn’t see any other option but to kill Molecule Man.

Cap protests that Molecule Man is a human being with rights to due process and a trial by jury of his peers!

But Tony is convincing the others. As an Actual Doctor, Don Blake doesn’t like to hear this. He wants to save lives. But he can’t refute Tony.

And Silver Surfer also seems on Team Tony.

Silver Surfer: “I understand what it is to sacrifice one life so that a multitude, a world might live! It seems clear that this Molecule Man cannot be imprisoned or held in check! He... must die to save the Earth... though I could never bring myself to slay him!”

Don’t you have the power cosmic? Surely there’s a power cosmic option available?

To be fair though his the power cosmic might be exhausted at the moment.

Still. Geez, Silver Surfer. ‘He gotta die but 1-2-3-not-it’ is really how you’re playing this??

Meanwhile, Tigra has decided that being asked to watch Molecule Man implies a certain duty perhaps even responsibility to tell him how much he sucks. Which is a lot.

And recall that she’s already told him how much he sucks earlier in the fight. So she has found a second wind in telling him how much he sucks.

Tigra: “You little jerk! Don’t you see? Cap was wrong! Power very seldom corrupts! It usually doesn’t change anything! It just magnifies what’s already there, whether it’s good and noble or evil and petty!”

“You were a nerd before... now you’re a powerful nerd! Big deal! Dummy! The shame of it is that with your power you can build... you can contribute! You don’t have to be a loser anymore!”

“Why are you such a fool? Why can’t you see that killing a planetful of people doesn’t make you even -- it just make you lonelier than ever!”

Wow. It feels like Tigra could hypothetically be talking about all different kinds of entitled nerds who then become the jerks as adults!

Anyway.

Tony and Cap are still arguing.

Tony, at least, isn’t going to ask someone to do something he wouldn’t do himself. I.e., he’s going to kill Molecule Man himself and save four billion people.

Cap: “Tony... please! I can’t let you do this!”

Tony: “You can take me in for murder afterward, Cap, but for now, stand aside! I’m warning you...”

Cap: “You’ll have to go through me, Tony...”

You’re warning him, Tony? You don’t have armor. You don’t even have pants. What are you going to do to supersoldier Captain America?

Logic aside, what strikes me is how much this foreshadows.

Before Civil War contrived that superhero registration, the big hot button superhero debate issue is whether superheroes should kill in extreme circumstances.

Spoilers for the NINETIES but the Regular and West Coast Avengers will come to schism and Cap and Iron Man will basically break up over whether or not to kill the Kree Supreme Intelligence after it engineered a war that killed 90% of the Kree people on purpose.

Shooter is long gone by that point but I guess someone is going to pick up the thread.

Because the debate doesn’t get settled here or rather does, sorta, in favor of Cap but not in a way he expects.

Interrupting the sad fist fight between Cap and a nearly naked man, Molecule Man pops up and tells everyone that Tigra has convinced him to turn his life around.

Tigra: “Guys, Mr. Owen Reece and I have talked, and, well, I convinced him to give himself up!”

Mr. Owen Reece: “Yes, I want to start seeing a therapist!”

Cap: “huh?”

Mr. Owen Reece: “I know I’ll have to go to jail... but that’s okay! It’ll give me time to think things out! I’ll make an opening in the dome now so you can call the authorities!”

Don Blake: “s-sure!”

God, that is just great. I love this as a resolution so much. This is a resolution that Squirrel Girl would bring us, although we’d get more of the actual convincing.

Still very, very good. Good to be optimistic in comics sometimes. Sometimes villains can seek redemption if only a cat yells at them long enough.

Although I think the best part is how baffled everyone is by the plot twist.

So with but a “Soon...” caption, the police have come to pick up Mr. Owen Reece and brought Miss Hanrahan who is going to be his therapist.

Holy crap, a therapist in Marvel who isn’t Doc Sampson but will work with superpowered nonsense!

Can we bring Miss Hanrahan back??

A couple things I like here.

One is that Mr. Owen Reece has changed off-panel into a suit instead of his supervillain costume. Now that’s him making an honest effort.

Two is Very Annoyed Tony Stark in the back of the pack of Avengers. He’s wearing a handkerchief as a mask because someone might recognize him as Tony Stark and then wonder ‘hey why is Tony Stark here.’

Three is the proud smile from Tigra when seeing Mr. Owen Reece meet his therapist.

Melts my heart a little.

Before he goes away to jail, Mr. Owen Reece takes a quick sidebar with the Avengers.

He retroactively feels just awful about ruining their various gadgets so he decides to make right.

He reintegrates Mjolnir, Toomie the surfboard, and Cap’s shield exactly as they were. Original molecules and all! They were so weird that he remembered where they all went.

As for Iron Man’s Iron Man armor.... look, he did his best.

Mr. Owen Reece: “But your armor, with all those complicated electronic gadgets is just too tricky for me to reassemble! You needed something more proper to wear till you get home, though -- so I whipped up some red and gold cloth and made you an Iron Man leisure suit! I hope it’s okay!”

Amazing. Simply incredible.

Although I think my favorite part was Mr. Owen Reece realizing ‘hey Iron Man should be wearing pants!’

Anyway, he also takes apart his Molecule Man Doom Fortress and puts those molecules back where he found them. More or less. He tries.

And, yes, he does rebuild the entire town of Netcong, New Jersey. Except the plumbing.

In a funny call back to Reece admitting he doesn’t really understand plumbing, none of the plumbing in the rebuilt town works.

Later, back at Avengers Mansion, Silver Surfer is offered a spot on the team but turns it down.

FOR THE PATHS OF DESTINY DO BECKON HIM DOWN A LONELY ROAD THAT MUST BE TRAVELED ALONE

Its the only who he has ever known. Except for all the time he spend with Galactus. Or the Defenders. Or later on when he has a companion to take on space nonsense.

Tigra also takes this time to say farewell.

Tigra: “I’m just not in the same league as you guys! I mean, sure I’ve got lots of super-ability, and, usually, I'm even pretty heroic -- but not up to your standard! I mean two of you, without your powers, no less, really showed me what it’s all about back there! And let’s face it, you guys mess with some heavy-duty opposition! I think I’ll quit while I’m ahead!”

=C

Noooooooooo

But but but Tigraaa you were a source of joy and fuuuuuuuun

You only joined at the end of #211! It’s only been about a week in-universe!

Darn.

The three other Avengers all say their goodbyes.

Thor reminds her that she was the one who turned around Mr. Owen Reece but Tigra says she got lucky.

Iron Man gives her one of Tony Stark’s cards and tells her to call Tony Stark who is definitely not him anytime she needs anything.

Jarvis even tears up at her leaving, although he denies it because a good butler never dies on duty and then blames his allergies.

And then Tigra is off. Damn. If I didn’t know who might be joining the Avengers soon I’d be completely inconsolable instead of just very.

So now the Avengers are down to just three members. That’s not a team. That’s a crossover. Probably why Jarvis wonders if a membership drive is in order.

NEXT: The return of... Yellowjacket, the Wasp, and Egghead!

I’m game for Wasp coming back! Don’t think it likely that Yellowjacket is just going to come back to the team just like that! And Egghead? The villain who blew up a city with a killsat and killed Hawkeye’s brother? Unlikely recruit!

(No I know that’s not what the NEXT means)

Hey, follow @essential-avengers​ because the Hank Pym just keeps happening. Like and reblog too please. Be sad with me that Tigra is gone.

[zoe-oneesama]

Do you help new miraculous content creators if they ask you for tips? Also, do you have any Fix with stormy weather 2? #I really think that I didn’t do the question properly #I apologize if I am rude

I try to help when I can, if I don’t respond to a question it’s because 1) I’m in a bad place to answer (at break at work/on the road/just about to go to sleep etc) 2) I’ve already answered a similar question, or 3) I’m thinking out my answer.

Or like THIS ask I had it ¾ typed out and then switched tabs and accidentally closed this one and lost all that I had typed alkdsjflajsdflka

Now for fixing Stormy Weather 2. Well first I have to rip it a new asshole (and maybe a third asshole to go above the second one) and then I’ll try to salvage it. Whooo this is gonna be a long one, so strap in:

1. Resolve your damn Akuma. This means two things. First, you can’t bring back a fan favorite akuma, ramp up the drama to Earth Leaves Orbit levels of intensity, and then defeat her off screen somewhere with a reporter (a reporter with a repeat name which is one of my pet peeves akdsjfalkd) giving us a vague play by play! Or you can, but it’s incredibly unsatisfying especially in an already unsatisfying episode. Second, resolve Aurore. Aurore was shafted on having a complete arc in her debut episode (she never apologizes to Mireille or has a moment of guilt for reacting to losing so poorly) so when I heard they were bringing her back, I hoped for some closure for her. It wasn’t such a big deal in Stormy Weather because she wasn’t a reoccurring character and we were establishing formula, but now she literally has a second episode named after her, so we’ll get some resolution, right? Nope. What was Aurore’s problem in this episode? If you asked Aurore, it’s struggling to balance Work and School. Yet it wasn’t the stress from this that brought on her akuma. It was Chloe insulting her akumasona and insisting that she hasn’t changed and of course Once a Villain, Always a Villain. It’s Chloe’s voice in her head saying things that have nothing to do with Aurore’s root problem that turn her. And we don’t even see Aurore at the end of the episode, so for all we know, she still harbors those insecurities. Bonus: Why was so much of Aurore’s set up confusing? Is Aurore the weather girl now? When did that happen? She works at the station?? Are we missing an episode??? Is this like Guitar Villain where they fucked up an episode order??? 

How to fix this? Well first of all, make Aurore’s problems actually relevant to what Chloe is driving at. Start with Aurore becoming the new Weather Girl. Mireille has stepped down, she either didn’t like it or her contract ran out. So Aurore is stepping up to the plate. She’s happy but super nervous. She admits Mireille was really good and won her spot fair and square, she’s going to be a tough act to follow. But Aurore thinks she’s got what it takes. Chloe disagrees. She lays into Aurore about how she’s the runner up, the loser and that hasn’t changed. People will be disappointed to see her instead of Mireille, shes’s just as unpopular and just as unwanted as before. She Hasn’t Changed.

So Stormy Weather is born. And no volcanoes dammit, something weather related, thanks! Tornadoes, Cyclones, Hurricanes, hell yes! And she’s defeated. On screen please. At least the part where they release the akuma. 

When Aurore wakes up, she’s afraid. She’s scared that everything Chloe said was right. She even became the same villain she was before. But she’s reassured “You’re not the same. You’ve come so far. Didn’t you praise Mireille for working hard? Didn’t you acknowledge your flaws but worked to overcome them? You’re so different from who you were before. You’ve made so much effort to be better than before.”

And when Chloe tries to rip into Aurore again, have someone remind them she’s been akumatized too, Antibug. “Oh, I’m sorry, I meant Queen Wasp. Wait, which name are you going by this time?”

2. Keep on theme. One wouldn’t think this should be hard but OOOOH BOY. The theme of the episode is People Can Change. (And obviously that their character have changed, but we’ll get there) We know this because the Bad characters (Chloe and Hawkmoth) both state that “People don’t change” and “Once a Villain, Always a Villain” which is a pretty basic way of setting up the theme. Have the Bad characters state the antithesis of the theme, have the Good characters struggle with whether or not the Bad characters are right. Then come to the conclusion that, no, the Bad characters are wrong, or they’re right, but not in the way they think they are.

Yet they have flashbacks that contradict each other (Sabrina remembering Chloe using the Miraculous for Good, but Ladybug remembering Chloe using the Miraculous for Bad), we have flashbacks that show no change at all (literally when has Ladybug and Chat Noir had difficulty fighting together when an akuma’s power wasn’t involved?) and most egregious, Adrien unknowingly aligns himself with the Bad characters by complimenting Ladybug by saying “She never changes”. So unless this is setting him up to join Hawkmoth (in which case this might be the most clever the writing has ever been and I will eat my words) they fucked up. The theme is all over the place. Is change good? Bad? Unobtainable? Can people change or do they not? What is it they’re trying to say with this episode???

Fix: Simple. Consider the message your flashbacks are ACTUALLY saying. And cut the ones that don’t support your theme. Don’t put contradicting flashbacks next to each other (better yet don’t have contradicting flashbacks at all). Eliminate flashbacks that don’t show change at all (the LadyNoir fights. If you still want fights, how about FIGHTING THE AKUMA IN FRONT OF YOU.) And have Adrien compliment Ladybug because she’s constantly improving. “She just gets better and better. Everyday she surprises me by being even more innovative and even more incredible.” Something sappy like that. Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezy. If the Bad Guys insist that People Don’t Change, you gotta prove to the Good Guys and US that People Do. Unless this is a bleak, Oh Shit the Bad Guys are Right kind of Episode. …but Thomas’ twitter seems to suggest it was the former they were going for.

3. The Flashbacks. OoooooOOoh the Flashbacks. In this section I’m just going to discuss how they’re used as a literary device. There’s too many of them, they contribute nothing, and they run out air time. They don’t even flow naturally. The point of a flashback is to add to a characters backstory or unveil a hidden truth to the audience. But none of the flashbacks used do this except for Nathalie’s and possibly the first DJWifi one, which was so blissfully short it’s almost in a different category of narrative device. With her exception (which is only an exception because of her narration, other wise it would be just as bad as the rest of them), the flashbacks come in with shaky prompting, they don’t give a new insight to an event from a new POV or even new animation, they don’t help any of the characters come to a sudden realization, they don’t add new information, they Do. Nothing. Let’s look at them one by one:

Marinette remembers the time she dug Adrien’s Valentine out of the trash. Prompted by: Her talking to Tikki about not being able to talk to Adrien.

Nathalie remembers times she interacted with the Agreste’s with narration about her growing feelings. Prompted by: Taking notes for Gabriel.

Two Clips of Gabriel being a Douche. Prompted by: Nooroo wondering if maybe Gabriel should stop being a Douche.

One Clip of Adrien jumping out of an akumas hand. Prompted by: Hawkmoth wondering if he’s going to far…and then immediately dismissing the idea.

A few Clips of Plagg guzzling cheese. Prompted by: Plagg insisting he hasn’t changed because he still loves cheese. That checks out.

Adrien remembering going to school and gaining friends. Prompted by: Plagg insisting Adrien has changed his own life.

Adrien remembering the two times Gabriel did the barest minimum to not suck. And also the birthday gift he didn’t actually give Adrien. Prompted by: Plagg of ALL people insisting that Gabriel has changed too.

Nino and Alya remembering the time they were locked in a cage and given Miraculous. Also how Nino sucks at hiding his identity. Prompted by: The two of them discussing how they even got together. 

Clips of just a few of the many many times Chloe has been a Douche. Prompted by: Chloe insisting no one is nicer than her…

Clips of one time Chloe followed a direct order from Ladybug and from when Chloe was Queen Bee. But like on purpose that time. Prompted by: Sabrina trying to hype up how great Chloe is.

Clips of Chat Noir and Ladybug fighting akumas (including Queen Wasp) and getting new powers and trusting each other more. Prompted by: Ladybug thinking Stormy Weather is stronger, but so are they.

Remembering Chat Noir setting up a date for Ladybug and Ladybug having to reject him. Prompted by: Plagg OF ALL people insisting Ladybug’s not so great because she has feelings for someone else ajlskdfjalsdfja

Adrien remembering when he first got that heart shaped card and thinking it was from ladybug. Prompted by: You know…looking at that card? And also looking at Marinette’s handwritting.

Adrien remembering Marinette deflecting the idea that she was into him. Prompted by: Thinking maybe the card could be from Marinette.

Adrien remembering Luka and Marinette on their ice rink date. Prompted by: More deflecting the idea that Marinette could be into Adrien because one time she went on a date with a boy.

This is also the flashback they chose to end on.

So ….that’s a lot of flashbacks. Some of them are barely there, some drag out way past their welcome. Some are actually well utilized, but some are just terribly implemented. Example: Nino narrating over the clip of Ladybug throwing them into the panther’s cage that that was the moment he and Alya “got together”? Good! It’s short, and even though we kind of knew that was the moment, now we have Nino confirming that that was the beginning of canon DJWifi. Not world shattering revelation, but it is something. Alya remembering them becoming heroes? Bad. It’s way too long, including both of their transformation sequences, and plays exactly as it did in Heroes Day. And why show us this? Did they think we? Forgot? That Nino and Alya are sometimes heroes??

The reason the flashbacks are particularly irritating, is because we don’t need them. Why couldn’t Plagg just remind Adrien about Gabriel playing piano with him with dialogue? Why’d we need to be shown it? Why did Marinette go from lamenting her inability to talk to Adrien to reading the Valentine? When thinking about “going too far” why can Hawkmoth only think of one time Adrien was in danger, when there were several times that he could’ve summed up with “Am I risking the family I have for the family I could have?” It’s excessive and wasteful. And it feels like they don’t think we’re smart enough to remember things. There are ways to get their point across that doesn’t kill air time and pacing but they went this incredibly lazy route. And maybe this would be forgivable if there wasn’t an agenda behind the flashbacks.

4. The Agenda Behind the Flashbacks. We all see what your doing, Thomas. You’re not sneaky. Soooo many people were criticizing you for having unmoving characters that you threw up your hands and said “You wanna see character growth?! I’ll show you some Goddamn Character Growth!” But you didn’t. You did the opposite. You isolated a few tiny examples for your argument but forgot the other 40+ episodes of evidence pointing to the contrary. But we didn’t forget. Noooo we did not. So let’s go character by character to see how they “changed” and how they MOST CERTAINLY have not.

Well, okay, so the first example is a bad example of what I just said, because they did the opposite with her. They started the “struggle” of whether or not characters change with Marinette of all people. Marinette, who’s become more confident, more clever, more sympathetic, more sacrificing. Marinette, who not just from Origins but from within the show itself has had to overcome her jealousy issues and her insecurities, learn to stand up to scarier and scarier adversaries. Marinette, the one character who actually HAS changed. And they focused on the fact she can’t talk to her crush about her feelings.

You know, that crush that repeatedly refers to her as “JUST” a friend, who wrote a Valentine to some mystery girl she doesn’t know, who asked for advice on how to ask out another girl. Yeah, it’s really wild that Marinette hasn’t made strides in this department. But it’s okay, because Marinette has made HUGE steps in this very episode! She signed her note this time! She’s practically a WhOlE nEw PeRsOn! 

You had it. You had the perfect character to show how much “change” you’ve had. And you didn’t. Use it. O_O

I won’t harp on Nathalie too much. They seem determined to insist she’s fully devoted to the Agreste family and it’s hard to argue that point thanks to this episode and her personal narration. Though every episode until this I had a pretty good This is Bullshit Argument going. So instead I’ll just say it came from nowhere, but go off I guess.

They use Plagg, PLAGG OF ALL CHARACTERS (I’m still not over that, what the fuck) to insist that Gabriel is changing for the better. Gabriel. GABRIEL. The guy who’s actually gotten WORSE over the series! The guy who USED to let Adrien go to races and game tournaments and Mime shows in season 1, but NOW won’t let Adrien go and get ice cream or see fireworks or his friend’s band practice in season 2! THAT GUY is getting better because he eventually let Adrien go meet with his friends?! Because he LET his son watch a movie with his own mother in it?! THAT GUY is changing for the better?!?!?! I see what you’re trying to set up and your WRONG!!!!!

Every example they used for how much Adrien’s life has changed, every two things they brought up, happened in the first episode. That’s not growth, that’s a fucking starting point. Adrien began the series going to school, he began the series getting new friends. But we all know why they had to go with those options. Because Adrien hasn’t grown at all and all this episode did was put a huuuuuge spot light on that fact. Thank you for just proving that point by only thinking of two things that have changed for him that literally happened in the First. Episode. I could think of a few things that have changed, but they’re definitely not flattering. *cough* Nice Guy™ *cough*

Apparently the only things that have changed for Nino and Alya is that they’re a couple and they’re superheroes. Well, I guess thanks for pointing out that they’ve been stagnant from the beginning. How boring. Maybe if a character hasn’t changed for good or bad, don’t waste screen time on it in an episode about how characters change???

And Chloe. Holy HELL Chloe. The only way Chloe even remotely works is if this episode is a set up for the fact that Chloe failed. If she’s not redeemed and they’re acknowledging it. If she’s not going to be added to the hero roster in the future and she’s getting more and more furious about it. She’s back in top form in this episode. She bullies Aurore with no prompting and with the intention of continuing her onslaught had Aurore not escaped, is a total hypocrite, is entitled about the bee Miraculous, and unrepentant the whole time. She’s back to her Season 1 self, but every fear I had with her getting everything she wanted came true. And if this was the episode they wanted to own it? I’d be fine.

I mean, I know like a huge part of the fandom wouldn’t be fine, but at least it would make a modicum of sense. Here Lies Chloe’s Development, 2k18-2k19.

Yet….they kind of tried to say different? Like, what was Chloe’s screen time devoted to? First, Bullying Aurore, then Marinette, then Alya even though she didn’t say anything to her. Then, she’s on her roof, shining her Bee Light in the sky and stomping her foot demanding her Miraculous, insisting she’s the Nicest, Best person for the job. We are then treated to clips of Chloe threatening the Principal to get out of cleanup for pulling the fire alarm, something Chloe did, and Chloe ignoring Sabrina’s very existence. Then they try to backtrack on that with clips of Chloe helping Ladybug in Despair Bear and being Queen Bee, as if to say “well, she got better.” Then Stormy Weather arrives and Chloe digs in her heels and says for the second time “Once a Villain, Always a Villain.” Then we’re shown a clip of Ladybug and Char Noir fighting Queen Wasp, Chloe’s second VILLAIN form! Eventually Chloe is released from her ice prison but with zero gratitude, saying “Queen Bee would’ve been faster and better.” Chloe’s time was devoted to giving us tonal whiplash and ping ponging between “Chloe’s Terrible!” to “Chloe’s a Hero!” Except they keep lingering on the Terrible part.

I’m just confused, because this could work. I swear it can. If the whole point of this is that Chloe’s redemption failed? This all makes sense. Chloe’s “good” points are brought up by Sabrina, a biased untrustworthy narrator. And it can actually be a good set up for future episodes where Chloe is not given the bee and is getting more and more angry about it, especially because she was foolish enough to share her identity so her peers are ribbing her about it. The only problem with this is the let down for all the people rooting for Chloe. Lot’s of people were hoping Chloe would become worthy of the Bee, and while lots and lots and LOTs were let down by the Battles of the Queens, some were still holding out hope. So this would definitely kill the vibe for those people. Personally, while I’m confused at least this route would make some sense. So I’ll…hold my judgement on this bit. I will tell you when it first came out I was really pissed at it though.

Plagg isn’t being screwed over by the flashbacks themselves, he’s just screwed over by the dialogue. Plagg who’s always tried to get Adrien to be a little selfish with his time is now defending Gabriel-No-Fun-Allowed Agreste? Plagg who was the first to point out Ladybug never said she’d show up for the picnic is now using this as a reason why Ladybug isn’t all that great? Yeah, miss me with that OOC bullshit, bring me back my son.

I think that’s all the characters they went for, so okay. How do we fix this. How do we fix anything with these flashbacks.

Fix this by using flashbacks as they are intended. Each flashback needs to include a new piece of information, either for the audience or for the characters speaking. For Marinette’s first flashback, instead of playing the whole thing, show Marinette reading the Valentine with narration how at the time she thought it was for her, but she now realizes it was meant for someone else. That’s new information for the audience. For Adrien, maybe the fact that he can’t think of how he’s changed is a good thing. It can be a spark for him deciding to be better, to train harder and become more serious about his job. Nothing will change until he puts in the effort. That can help a moral of the episode: That People Can Change, but Only Through Honest Effort.

Dig in with Gabriel = Bad. I know they’re trying to make Gabriel more sympathetic by making it out like he’s improving, but they’re just wrong. He’s not. Not unless he does a near 180 in this season. So instead of making him think of that one time Adrien was in danger, give him flashes, quick, rapid flashes of innocent people in danger. Nathaniel screaming when Horrificator grabs him, cars crashing because Backwarder sent that woman into the crosswalk, Kim and Max running from Animan as a panther. Show all the people he doesn’t know, how far he ACTUALLY has gone for his goals. And then have him shake it off. We already know he doesn’t care about Adrien’s safety or else Gorizilla wouldn’t have happened at all. This shows us that he doesn’t care about people in general. Like the DJWifi flashback, we could infer this, but this makes the audience have to think about it and makes it about Gabriel’s character. 

Have Chloe argue her worthiness with someone else. Maybe Stormy Weather. 

“Ooh Chloe, what’s wrong? No one came to give you a Miraculous? Maybe they realized that you didn’t deserve it.”

“Excuse you?! I am the nicest person ever! Of COURSE I deserve it!”

“Wasn’t so nice of you to pull the fire alarm and try to frame Marinette. Wasn’t so nice of you to pretend your best friend didn’t exist!”

“How dare you?! I’ll have you know Ladybug never could’ve defeated Despair Bear without me! And she’s constantly relied on me as Queen Bee!”

“Was that before or after you crashed that train? Or maybe it was after you turned your own father into an akuma! What was it you told me earlier? Once a Villain, Always a Villain? Well, you would know Queen Wasp!”

You don’t need a flashback to recall a scene from earlier in the series. If you did, every series would be filled with them. Typically a series has enough faith in their audience that they’ll remember a line or moment or object without having to devote screen time to showing it to us the exact same way they did the first time. So replace some with verbal call backs or with a quick flash of the previous moment. Instead of showing the full flashback of Adrien reading the Valentine out loud to Plagg, just show a flash of it drifting next to him and his eyes landing on it. Instead of showing the entire time Luka and Marinette were together at the rink, flash between their faces and him holding her hand and their lift in rapid succession. It helps the pacing and doesn’t steal focus from the fact that it’s Adrien remembering this. And of course, get rid of flashbacks that don’t add anything. We didn’t need to see every characters transformation to remember they’re heroes or villains. We don’t need to see CN and LB kick several akumas asses to remember they fight well together. We don’t need to see Adrien sneaking into school or being surrounded by his peers to remember he goes to school now and has friends.

TLDR: Start with Aurore becoming the new weather girl, nervous to follow what she admit’s is Mireille’s very impressive lead. Chloe antagonizes Aurore over being the runner up and that her lack of popularity hasn’t changed. Aurore worries that Chloe’s right and that she’ll be unwanted even though she’s worked hard to compete with Mireille. She becomes Stormy Weather.

Marinette notes maybe Chloe’s right about Adrien (mentions that she thought his Valentine was for her but realizes now it was meant for someone else). But then she and Tikki talk about how she’s improved - confidence, controls her jealousy, is more assertive towards adults. Switch to Agreste Mansion, everything plays same as episode up to Gabriel turning into Hawkmoth (maybe skip transformation. Might leave it because it’s only the second time we’ve seen it).

Hawkmoth wonders if Nooroo’s right about going too far, has a series of quick flashes to all the people he’s terrorized, but comes to the conclusion there’s no going back now. In Adrien’s room, Plagg is saying he likes when people don’t change and talks about his cheese fetish. Adrien insists that change is the only way for things to improve. Plagg tries to insist that Adrien’s life has changed, but Adrien admits that was just the first step and he hasn’t done much to challenge his life since then. Plagg tries to bring up some changes with Gabriel, but every positive is challenged with a negative from Adrien. He played piano with me? He didn’t let me see the fireworks with my friends. He let me see my mom’s movie? Only after I was nearly squashed by an akuma which would’ve been avoided if he let me go to the movies in the first place. etc.

Stormy Weather makes herself known. She’s blowing the city away with tornadoes. Alya and Nino are huddled talking about how Hawkmoth seems to be getting worse. But they admit their lives are different thanks to him or rather thanks to Ladybug inadvertently bringing them together. They also talk about the other time they’ve been together (sitting together, getting ice cream, when he tried to protect her in Anansi). Then Nora and the girls crowd them into the living room away from the windows where it’s dangerous and they huddle together, Nora making sure to include Nino who’s earned her trust.

Chloe’s shining her light in the sky and getting frustrated. As she starts to whine about where Ladybug is with her miraculous, Stormy Weather appears and teases Chloe for being left out, which Chloe counters with how great she is. Stormy list the “nice things” Chloe’s done (pulling the alarm and ignoring Sabrina) and Chloe fires back she’s worked with Ladybug. Stormy continues to taunt Chloe for the awful things she did with the Miraculous and calls her Queen Wasp before freezing her. Then the battle with Ladybug and Chat Noir begins.

Clara (who is not Clara btw they used the wrong model look it up in the wiki) can still give the play by play, but this is because the fight is happening in the distance. We still see Ladybug and Chat Noir fighting against Stormy Weather, but it’s so far away we can’t hear the banter or see the details. We’re getting the Parisian Civilian Experience of an Akuma fight, which is unclear but still in plain view. The fight ends with a similar but slightly altered version of what took down Stormy Weather down the first time and Ladybug cleanses the akuma.

Ladybug takes Aurore down to the ground level (convienitently in front of the TV Station). Aurore feels upset about becoming an akuma, the same akuma as before, and thinks it’s proof that Chloe was right - that she hasn’t changed. But Ladybug reassures her that she knows Aurore has worked really hard and she knows she’s become a better person since the first time they met. Aurore is confused how Ladybug could possibly know that but luckily her timer is running low so she and Chat Noir bounce.

Marinette leaves the notes for Adrien, this goes the same as in canon. When Tikki praises Marinette, she says “I’ve changed in so many ways, I can change here too.”

In his room, Adrien sighs over how Ladybug only ever seems to improve, only gets more and more clever and amazing. Plagg reminds him that she may be great but she’s got her sights set on someone else and maybe it’s time he does the same, bringing out the fancards. Adrien tells Plagg “It’s not that simple. Even if I wanted to change my mind, the heart wants what it wants. I can’t stop loving someone as simple as that. But I can become better. Ladybug’s always improving herself so maybe it’s time I do the same. I need to keep up with her example.” 

Nathalie drops off Marinette’s notes. Adrien has a quick flash of when he first lays eyes on the “Ladybug” Valentine before comparing the handwritting on both, remarking that they’re very similar. He thinks back to the moment Marinette stuttered through that she’s into fashion and doesn’t think of him that way (and JUST that part, we don’t need the whole thing jesus) and says “She already said she doesn’t love me. There’s no way this is from her…right? Besides, there’s…(quick flashes of Luka and Marinette having fun at the ice rink) Luka.”

Resigned, he says “There’s no way it’s from Marinette.”

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

To The Top (Pieces of the People We Love, Part 8. (The Borderlands Series))

Description: Not many people had the chance to see a vault or to mean anything in the world of Pandora. Will a hardly built relationship in the loneliness of the desert have the potential to change anything in the world of anarchy and chaos - or will the friends try to murder each other?

Part Summary: There was more to endure than you would've expected - and Eden-6 was just the start.

Warnings: A lot of guns, violence, reader is a tough badass - not a vault hunter tho. They’re badass and don’t give a fuck. And Scooter is a dumb bitch, as always. All Psychos and Fanatics are various Vine references - oh, what luck that reader can understand them since she is friends with Bandits.

Word count: 1.7 K

Tagging: @notaliteraltoad​ @nemodoren​

Series master list:  H E R E

It was looking like a slow-motion shot of each one of you walking to the rocket. Athena was walking on the side of your group in her assassin apparel, looking like a million bucks with a slight smile on her face. Janey was walking towards the rocket with confidence as big as her wife's was, leading your small convoy with a small smile on her face. Next to Janey, there was Scooter who was visibly nervous, but at least he could contain himself. Rayray and Blindy were just a small step behind the three of them.

And last, but not least, there you were in the back. You looked hilarious - your expression was showing that you're definitely not sure if you're gonna throw up on the spot or in the rocket.

Man, you never knew that you can hate something as much as rockets. Those machines were making you nervous, a rocket was too big, too loud, too heavy and too unnatural for you to like it. You didn't want to crawl into it, you didn't want to take a flight to Athenas. You wanted to stay exactly as you were and not move a single bit.

And you definitely ruined the whole slow-motion thing.

"Ya ok, man? Ya lookin' like Laney every time she saw me." - Scooter appeared next to you so suddenly that you almost punched him with your metallic arm. What was he after? You would rather shit yourself in the rocket than letting Scooter take care of you - so you straightened up and took a deep breath in.

"I'm fine, yeah. I'm good." - You nodded silently and took a big step towards the rocket. Scooter was by your side all the time, walking in your tempo. That boy could feel that you weren't exactly sure if you're gonna puke or not.

Before he could ask anything else, your body did something so unexpected, that you almost got a heart attack. Your normal, fleshy hand voluntarily reached for Scooter's palm so you could hold it. You looked at the man with parted lips, but you weren't able to say a single word. You felt your cheeks reddening - the whole everything inside of you panicked as you held his palm.

"A bit scared of rockets, aren't ya?" - He pointed at your entwined fingers.

"I hate these fucking things, Scooterboy. So much shit can go wrong just like that and I... I can't do that." - You mouthed silently to him. - "Also, you'll tell a living soul that you held my hand and you're dead, are we clear?"

"Yea, yea, man, I'm not deaf. Plus, I get that fear, ya know? A rocket exploded right under ma ass, ya remember?" - He tried to cheer you up in a cheesy way and to your surprise, it was working. You laughed silently. - "There ain't nothin' that will go wron'. Ya hear me?" - You stopped in front of the ladder leading inside of the rocket.

And as you crawled into the machine, for a short moment, you did believe him. You did believe Scooter that everything's gonna be just right; meanwhile, he was starring your ass down. Everyone climbed up to their seats - Athena and Janey were sitting behind the controlling panel, Rayray and Blindy sat directly behind them and you and Scooter were sitting in the back. 

You were afraid that you would freak out and throw up and for a reason, Scooter voluntarily said that he will sit in the back next to you, just to keep his eye on you. As you did your seatbelts, you felt the whole rocket shaking and motors running. Athena was clearly talking to the headset the had on, but you and Scooter didn't listen to any of that. 

Just seconds before taking off, you heard him laughing next to you, so you turned your face to him. In that second, Scooter took his cap off and waved it in the air like a cowboy waves with his lasso. The first moments after taking off were horrendous - you took Scooters palm to yours, again, while screaming like a five-year-old girl and he was looking you in the face while laughing. - “Catch-a-Riiiideeee!” - You heard him yelling as he continued on laughing and he put your entwined palms above your heads.

As soon as the rocket entered the vacuum, you could see Janey pushing something on the panel and your stomach curled into a small ball. 

“Alright guys, take your seatbelts off. We'll be on the coordinates in an hour.” - She informed the whole rescue party and you finally opened up your eyes. That shit was intense. Really intense. Even so intense, that you continued holding Scooter's hand even if you had any reason to do so. 

“See? We're good.” - Scooter shook it off on his own, feeling that one or two of his fingers might have been broken since you held him with the metallic arm. You still sat on the plushy seat of what was remaining out of Blindy's caravan, breathing in and out in a steady rhythm.

“What's on the program now? Were taking the flight to Athenas... Or...” - Athena asked with a look on Scooter's face, waiting for the next instructions. - “Not exactly.” 

“WHAT?!” - You regained consciousness and shakily undid the seatbelts to stand up. - “Were not flying to Athenas? You think that I'll voluntarily do any other rocket flight? No. You're crazy.” - You shouted at Scooter. The boy didn't know that to tell you for a good minute or two as he waited for you to hit him, but you just sat down on the seat in complete despair. 

“What coordinates did ya give me, Scooter? Ya said that these are takin' us to Athenas. Where are we goin'?” - Janey asked with a furrow as she watched his face. Scooter laughed a bit. 

“I... Managed to pick up a radio call comin' all the way from Eden-6. I have a few friends who wanna help us with savin' Liliths goddamn ass. We just need to pick 'em up and were good to go. Fast travel is workin' there.” - Scooter presented to each one of you - you weren't sure if you're about to cry or puke, Athena just sat down with an empty face and Rayray with Blindy were as quiet as they were before Scooter told you the news. 

In about an hour, you were slowing down as Janey was initiating the landing process. This time, you decided to endure the whole thing alone, since everyone was angry with Scooter. That man was just insane and a pure idiot. This time, you even encouraged yourself to look at the planet which appeared to be closer and closer to you - it was weird, muddy, mossy and... It was just one big swamp. But clearly, you felt safe to say that this planet is mostly Fanatic-free. At least for now.

“Here we go. Just be gentle with it, okay?” - Athena asked Janey and the blonde woman nodded, preparing to bring the baby home. She slowed the machine even more and then, you broke the Eden-6 atmo. I, as the narrator, would love to say that you landed slowly and safely - but in the next minute, the whole ship was crushing to the surface and each one of you was yelling like crazy. 

You definitely crashed. But any of you died - but your rocket ship... It broke into several pieces... Just like that. There wasn't anything that would be more out of use than the pieces remaining from the rocket. Athena got up immediately, looking at everyone. 

“Is everyone alright? Any broken bones? Any hurting stomachs or bleeding eyebrows? Have someone died?” - She asked and by a miracle, everyone hummed somehow. Everyone was still alive enough to continue the journey. 

“At least we're alive, aren't we, huh?” - Scooter asked all of you as soon as he jumped off the remnants of his and Janey's doing. You climbed out right after him and pinned the shotgun to your back along with a pack of ammo on in a bag on your hip. 

“Dumbass.” - You mouthed and took the coat off - Eden-6's atmosphere was so humid and warm that there was no need to wear more than a top and sweatpants with Crimson rider's logo on your lovely bottom. You were standing somewhere in a jungle and any of you had an actual clue where to go. The radio was dead. You had some ammo on you and so did Blindy and Rayray, but that wasn't enough.

Your last option was to walk through the jungle - once, something that looked like a huge-ass ant almost bit Janey's head off and everyone really appreciated when you found some freshwater to drink. It almost looked like your mission ended up like a big fuck up.

That was when you met the creatures - it looked like a half-baked dinosaur mixed with bones stolen from the graveyard. At that moment, you were sure that your mission is a fuck up. And you were about to be dead in the next minute. Everyone tried to shoot them down and there were even some great ones, but there were more and more of them. Everyone was sweaty and tired, muddy and bloody like hell, there was no wonder after everything you had to endure - and there were just moments remaining until someone gets badly hurt. There was only one thing that could save you - a miracle.

And to your surprise, a miracle was exactly what you got. It was a miracle looking like an old car and two men - one dressed in a grotesque safari outfit and one with a suit on. And they really saved you with all of their guns. And each one of them was made by Jakobs. When the animals were dead, the two men stood in front of you - and you stared each other down for a second, before one in the safari costume, with a broken glass monocle on bowed to you. 

“Sir Hammerlock at your service.”

[anxstiel]

Broken Promises

Author: @anxstiel

Prompt: None

Pairings: None

Warnings: ANGST! Depression. Major Character Death. Sam Whump. John Whump. Mentally Unstable.

Word Count: 2K

Modern!AU

A/N:

Mary still died in a house fire. John is nice and has settled with Sam and Dean. No monsters.

This is from Sam’s P.O.V.

I’m not actually sure if anyone has written anything like this. This idea just suddenly hit me while I was sitting on the couch and staring out the window watching birds.

Italics is narration up to the linebreak.

Summary: How could Sam go on without his brother by his side?

What are you supposed to do when your brother, your hero, leaves you?

A thirteen-year-old Sam Winchester frowned from his seat on the couch as he watched his father and brother pack their hunting gear. He felt uneasy about them leaving on a hunting trip all weekend. Sam had this horrible feeling in his stomach - a feeling that something terribly wrong was going to happen, something that was going to change his life forever.

Do people expect you to mourn for a couple of weeks? Months?

Dean rolled up his jeans and shoved them into his duffel bag before glancing over at his baby brother. Seeing his frown, the eldest brother gave a soft smile and made his way over. “Hey,” he addressed softly, crouching down to look his brother in the eye. “What’s wrong, Sammy? You’re not worried about being stuck with Missouri for a weekend are you?” He lightly punches Sam’s arm in hopes to try and cheer him up. “What? Afraid to get cooties by being stuck with a girl?”

Are they thinking that you’ll get over it?

Sam wrinkled his nose at his brother’s comment. “Dean,” he argued. “I’m thirteen! I don’t believe in cooties anymore!”

Chuckling, Dean ruffled his brother’s hair. “Whatever you say, little brother.” Sam childishly stuck his tongue out at his brother - only for the gesture to be returned. John watched with a fond smile before packing away the rest of his clothes. He picked up his and Dean’s duffel bags and placed them by the door before turning and making his way to his boys.

That you’ll forget in time?

John crouched beside the brothers. “C’mon kiddo,” he nudged Sam’s shoulder affectionately. “Tell your old man what’s wrong.”

The young teen looked down at the ground, his feet swinging under him, too short to touch the ground. “Nothing,” he mumbled, shrugging. “I just want you guys to stay safe. That’s all.”

Do they not understand what he meant to you?

Dean gave his little brother a light smile and snaked his arm across his shoulders. “Sammy,” he assured. “It’s not like this is our first time! We know what we’re doing. Besides, we’ve come back after every trip. What makes this hunt so different?”

Sam didn’t know what to tell them, unable to fully understand the feeling himself. “I don’t know,” he sighed. “Just a bad feeling I guess.”

That he was the person who was always there?

“Well,” John started, lightly slapping his youngest on the back. “You have nothing to worry about, son. We’ll be back before you know it!”

“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean assured, a smile gracing his handsome features. “Sunday night, just listen for the sound of the Impala!  Dad and I will come in, cook us up some grub and continue life as normal!”

Who never left your side?

Sam knew they were just trying to ease his mind, but the feeling just wouldn’t go away.

The sound of a car door being shut from outside made the boys look towards the door. John gave Sam one last smile and ruffled his hair. He stood and went to grab their bags. Dean went to follow, but Sam quickly grabbed his hand in order to stop him.

Who stood up for you and made sure you always came first?

Dean’s eyes widened as he looked at their entangled hands but then moved up to the flushed face of his younger brother. He almost melted on the spot at the sight of those puppy dog eyes staring back at him.

“Please, Dean.” his brother’s voice was barely a whisper. “Promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you’ll come back.”

Scooping Sam up into his arms, Dean smiled as he wedged his head into his brother’s neck, his brother returning the gesture. “I promise, Sammy,” he whispered, his arms wrapped securely around Sam’s smaller frame. “I love you. You know that, right Sammy?”

He felt Sam nod against his shoulder. “I love you, too, Dean.”

He promised me he’d come back that day. It was the first time he didn’t keep his word.

“Sam?”

The voice was distant. He barely heard it.

“Sam? It’s me. It’s Jess.”

Sam’s head jerked at the name. He ripped his gaze from the blank, white wall in front of him and turned towards Nurse Moore, or as she let him call her, Jess. He smiled warmly at her and she returned it as she laid her hands on his.

“How are you today, Sam?” She asked the question quietly, not wanting to startle him and to make sure he understood that she meant no harm. He had been in this mental institution since he was eighteen. That was five years ago. When she first arrived, Sam instantly opened up to her. Since then, they became good friends and Jessica would always tell Sam about her day - but only if he would tell her about his.

The Winchester nodded his head excitedly, a big grin spreading across his handsome face. “It was great Jess! Dean and I had lots of fun!”

Jess internally sighed at the news of his newest adventure - but she kept her smile taking her hands away from his and putting a fist under her chin to hold her head up, her other hand lying lazily across her legs. “Oh?” she asked somewhat teasingly. “What did you boys do now?”

His smile only seemed to grow - if that was even possible. He quickly maneuvered himself on his bed so he could face Jessica, slightly tugging on his white clothes to make them straighten out. “Dean got bored on our way to a hunt so he started this prank war between us!”

Jessica raised an eyebrow. “A prank war, huh?”  She laughed softly. “Who won?”

He shrugged and picked at his white sweats. “It was kind of a tie. We both did some pretty great pranks but we settled it with a truce.” He smiled fondly as he thought about it. “He started it when he put a plastic spoon in my mouth when I was sleeping. He also put itching powder in my pants.” He scrunched his nose and shifted uncomfortably as if he could still feel the itch.  “I got back at him, though. I glued his bottle of beer to his hand at this diner and I also turned the Impala’s radio onto polka and turned the volume all the way up so when he turned the car on, he was in for a surprise.” He laughed at his story, looking towards the wall behind Jess in thought.

The nurse moved her head back into his view so she could get his attention. “What were you guys hunting? Was it a werewolf? Another ghost?”

Sam scrunched up his nose in annoyance. “No,” he affirmed. “These idiots in Texas thought they were real ghost hunters. They created this Tulpa. He was a tough one to beat. Dean ended up burning the whole house down!”

Jess rose her eyebrows in feigned amusement - but truly, she was worried. The stories just kept coming and he wasn’t getting better. Just a couple of months ago he was screaming about how she was killed in a fire. It took her forever to calm him down. She tried to convince him that she was still alive but even now he thought she was just a figment of his imagination - that he was in denial of her death.

“Miss Moore.”

Though the voice was quiet, it still seemed to echo in the small room. Jessica jerked towards the door to see Nurse Masters peering through the cracked door. Sam jerked his head towards the door as well and his eyes widened. He quickly turned around to the opposite side of the bed and stared quietly at the blank wall.

Jessica sighed at the sight and turned towards Meg, standing awkwardly at the door, her long black hair falling over her eyes. “What is it, Meg?” She questioned, standing up slowly and making her way out the door. She shut the door quietly, glancing through the window to see the tall, quiet figure still lost in thought.

“It’s John Winchester, Jess,” Meg admitted nodding her head to the reception desk to see an old, worn figure slumped in his waiting chair. “He’s come to check on Sam.” She looked at Jess with sympathy. “He wanted you to tell him about his son’s …” She trailed off, not wanting to say the word needed to describe the man in his room. “Condition,” she settled. “He wants to know if anything has changed since his last visit.

The nurse sighed, nodding her head in acknowledgment before giving Sam one more glance and making her way to Mr. Winchester. At the sight of her advancing form, John’s eyes widened and he stood up, trying to straighten his flannel clothing to seem more appropriate.

Jess held out her hand to him, a welcoming smile appearing on her beautiful features. “Hi, John,” she welcomed as he took her hand. “It’s good to see you back so soon for another visit!”

John chuckled lightly, a smile trying to form on his lips - but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yes, well,” he cleared his throat and moved his gaze away from the woman in front of him. “He is my son, Jessica. I had a day off and I had nothing better to do. I just thought I would check up on him again before I went and paid respects to -” he chokes up and clears his throat again, trying his best to keep his tears at bay. “Before I go and visit Dean.”

Jessica’s warm smile instantly turned sympathetic as she glanced down at the bouquet with a small array of flowers. The bouquet held sunflowers, blue hydrangeas, and gladiolus, as well as white carnations. It wasn’t the prettiest bouquet ever made, but Jess knew the flowers were being used for meaning and not beauty.

The older man followed her gaze and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I know they’re not exactly flowers that match, but,” He looks back towards her. “They hold meaning.”

Smiling, Jess put a hand on John’s arm for comfort. “I understand, John. Losing your son must have been very difficult. And then having your other son having to leave as well,” they both turned to look down the hall at the closed door. “It’s enough to make any parent go insane. You’re doing your best. I’m sure those flowers would look absolutely beautiful on Dean’s grave. I only wish I got to meet him.”

He smiled sadly. “Hmm. I could have seen you two being friends. He liked to tease and pull pranks. He was a big goofball.” John seemed to get lost in thought as he looked outside a window. “He wanted to be a mechanic. He loved cars. Always had a dream of settling down with a nice girl, having kids,” he chuckled lightly. “He adored kids. He tried to act tough and manly but in truth, he would do anything to be around a kid. That’s one of the reasons why he and Sam were so close …” John trailed off and Jessica didn’t pressure him into telling more. She waited as he took a deep breath to calm himself and clear his throat. “Anyways, I’m getting off track. Has my … has his condition change?”

His hopeful expression turned downcast as she reluctantly shook her head. “I’m afraid it’s not approving. But it’s not worsening either. His condition hasn’t changed any in the past three years.”

“So he’s still coming up with these stories?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “Just before you arrived he was telling me a story of him and Dean having a prank war. They were also hunting some sort of monster again. A Tulpa I think. Whatever that is.”

“A Tulpa,” he ran a hand down his face as he thought. “Yeah, they’re, like, these monsters created by thought forms. Have enough people believe in something added with the right symbol and the creature would come to life.” He huffed a small laugh, staring at Sam’s door down the hall. “I never knew he paid attention to those tales I told him and his brother. He always hated them. He was more into the facts, not the myths.”  

“Yes, well,” Jessica looked down towards her feet, her eyes glazed with sympathy for both of the remaining Winchester’s. “It seems as if those myths have become his new reality. I wish we had better news for you, John.”

John closed his eyes and waved his hand in the air lazily to stop her. “It’s okay. You and the rest are doing the best that you can to look after him and for that, I am eternally grateful!” He turned and took the bouquet of flowers into his hand before holding it up for Jess. “Now, I believe it is time I visit my son. Could you hold these for me?”

Jessica smiled thoughtfully at him as she took them from him, lightly grazing her fingers across their petals. “I’ll make sure no harm comes to them, Mr. Winchester.” She turned away from him and made her way back to the receptionist desk. John watched her sit down by some files and finally returned her smile. The smile dropped as he stared down the familiar, blank hallway that he has been walking down for the past five years. He didn’t even realize that he moved until he found himself right outside his son's door.

Inside, Sam Winchester sat, slumped, on the edge of his bed. He eyes were glazed over as they focused on his shoes. He said no word and made no attempt of movement - just lost in his fantasies.

Quietly, John opened the door, trying his best not to spook Sam. He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly in front of it. He was never really sure what to do during these visits. Sam would never talk back to him unless it was about something he had supposedly done in his son’s fantasy. The last time he had visited, it didn’t end very well. He had walked through the door and as soon as Sam had seen him he had started yelling about him not being there for his sons.

He could remember the day quite clearly - it was like a nice, big punch to the stomach. Sam had screamed things - things no parent would want to hear.

“Where are you?” he had grounded out, his hands turning into fists. “Why won’t you help us? Dean is dying! Your son is dying!” He was screaming at this point, advancing towards a frightened John. He stood frozen at his spot as assistants rushed in due to the noise, trying their best to hold Sam back. They sent John away and he sat in the waiting room down the hall, his face being held in his hands as he thought about his son’s words - ringing in his head, implanting themselves into his brain. He knew Sam was talking about his made-up world, but whatever was happening there had held bits of reality. Of Dean dying. Of John not being there. Of him failing both his son’s. He got back home that day and wept.

Now, looking down at the still form of his only remaining family, John didn’t want to let him down again.

Pulling up a chair, John sat down and took a deep breath, trying to think of what he could possibly say to his damaged son. “Uh, hey Sammy,” he nervously rubbed his palms on his pant legs, looking everywhere but at his son. “It’s been awhile, huh?” He mentally scolded himself. He’s acting as if the man in front of him was a complete stranger. He sat up.

“Sam. It’s me. John Winchester. Your father.” No reply. John sighed and looked towards the door, thinking over the words needed to be said. “Son, if you can hear me, I just wanna say sorry. I have no right to say that to you but I truly am sorry. I failed you. Both of you.” He looked down at his feet, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. “I made Dean break his promise to you. I wasn’t fast enough. I left him. I heard him yell. I heard the gunshot. It’s all my fault that you lost your brother.” He sniffed and rubbed at his eyes, looking back up to stare at Sam’s tense shoulders.

A soft bark of laughter bubbled in his throat as he thought of himself, as he thought of how he ruined his entire family. “Sammy,” he paused, his light laugh turning into a plea. “Please, Sammy! Say something! Anything!” He made his in front of Sam getting down on his knees and taking his son’s face into his rough, calloused hands. Sam’s face remained stoic, his eyes still glazed over. “Sam, I just want you to talk to me. You can yell, scream - I don’t care! Just please.” He let out a sob, finally letting his tears trail down his face. No matter how hard he pleaded, Sam said nothing.

He hung his head in defeat, letting his forehead rest on his son’s - just for a moment. He let out a broken sigh and stood, making his way to the door. With one last look at Sam, he opened the door and began to make his way out - until he was stopped by a soft voice.

“He’s the one that broke his promise, Dad.”

John, his jaw hung wide open, looked at his son in amazement.

“He’s the one that promised me he would be careful,” Sam turned towards his father, his eyes dulled with emotion as he admitted the truth for the first time in years. “He’s the one that left your side. He’s the one that left.” The man turned back to his wall. “I’m sorry Dad.”

And then he was silent once more, his mind being drawn back to his world of fantasy.

John had no words. He closed his eyes as one last tear slid down his cheek. “Don’t you ever say sorry to me, son,” his voice was weak and broken, but he could only hope that Sam could still hear it. “None of this is either of your boy’s fault. None of it.” He left.  Silently shutting the door behind him, he made his way to the receptionist desk and politely thanked Jessica for holding the flowers and he left. Hopping into his Impala he drove to the graveyard and found Dean’s grave.

Placing the flowers on the grave, he began to talk.

He talked about lots of things. He talked about the shop, the cars. About new movies and shows coming out on television. It seemed he couldn’t stop talking about the advancement in technology over the years - how they now have computers almost everywhere. And then he was talking about Sam.

“Your brother,” he heaved a great sigh and watched as geese swam in the nearby pond. “He’s not getting better, Dean. I mean, he’s not getting worse, but still not better.” He hung his head. “The doctors don’t think he’ll ever come back from this. His denial is so deep. He misses his big brother.”

Lightly, he traced his hand over the smooth marble of the gravestone. He admired it and the beauty it showed. He looked over at the grave of his wife, knowing that six-feet under, the casket was empty - the body that was supposed to be there burnt to ashes in the house fire that had changed both his and his son’s lives. He sighed and turned his eyes towards the sky, a single dove flying high above.

“If only promises couldn’t be broken.”

[uracilcherubs]

> Be the Hivecrasher Limeblood

Yeah, done. Though, does it really count as hivecrashing just because you don’t pay rent? 

Your name is CALLIOPE. You are a lime blood cherub of … well, if you’re honest, you aren’t quite sure how old you are. You’ve tossed around ages in the past, but – as you have also mentioned in the past – time has never really been your strong suit. The whole mess is hardly helped by the multiple sets of memories you have, each one from a different instance of yourself, each one living out longer or shorter lives. Things got…weird…in the Medium, and you try not to think on it for too long.

Suffice it to say, you are OLDER THAN HUMAN THIRTEEN YEARS OLD, and that WORKS ENOUGH FOR YOU. Better to roll with the punches and let the time players sort it out; though the age scale on Umbrage is even more fraught with complications, time travel, extended alternate universes and heaps of sloppy writing.

“i hope that wasn’t sUbtly laid bait for a compliment, “ you say to the open air. “i’m afraid yoU won’t find me an Unbiased critic – or a favoUrable one.”

Kind and sweet and lovable as you are (you chuckle softly at that), you can’t say you have much in the way of fond regard for the life you’ve led , or the unlife for that matter. No, looking back on things, you spent quite a lot of time moping around: moping on your meteor, moping in your session, moping in the dream bubbles, almost 15 times over. So much of your life has been spent moping, moping, moping,  playing the sad, second fiddle to your brother, who hogged more spotlight than any thief of light could hope for.

“we can’t help where oUr mUse takes Us – or oUr lord, as it were!”

You pull a hefty book from the shelf. It’s a new book, of sorts; a reprint of a tome you already own, polished and made new for a brand new audience in a brand new hardcover.  You flip through the pages, delighting at familiar passages. It’s a story you have mixed feelings for, and you can’t say you agree with every direction it took, but in the end it’s a story you devoted years to, and you are content with the fun you had along the way.  You snap the book shut, a look of realization sweeping over your face.

“oh ho,” you start. “perhaps…yes!”

You place the book back on its shelf and rush over to your desk. From a heavy drawer your pull out another book, one heftier and, you admit, a little more worn than some of your others, but one you’ve no less fondness for. You take no care pulling it open (leaving the mystery of its condition apparent to all), making a mad scramble toward its middle. 

You stop not at a fresh page, but one covered in notes and illustrations. A drawing of a large imposing adult cherub dominates the page, his false eye matching his false leg matching his false arm. You don’t particularly care for this chapter of your book—here is where the ties of your shared story really start to tangle and knot – but you can’t help yourself when a previously unconsidered angle dawns on you.

You begin to scribble in what little free space you have on the page, reading your work aloud to the room.

“perhaps, beyond a simple black infatUation, he collected so many serkets for their classpect!”

You scribble in a small sun – the symbol of light players everywhere – into the margin, replacing the center circle with an eight-ball.

“it would certainly sUit Umbrage’s ego, having so many light thieves in one spot…his ship would have made for a veritable narrative magnet!”

You smile at your work and close your unabridged journal, returning it to its place in the desk. You don’t really buy the theory for a second, and you’ve maintained a healthy skepticism of post-canonical word of god, but themes are fun to bring out, even if they’re happy coincidences and even if you just made them up just now.

“bUt i think that’s qUite enoUgh reflecting on the past,” you say, to yourself this time. “we woUldn’t want to get too self indUlgent.”

Anyway.

You stand from your desk and stretch, extending your wings out as you look around your room, which contains a great many deal of your INTERESTS, almost all of them revolving around a WEBCOMIC YOU CANNOT DISCUSS WITH YOUR FRIENDS. Lovely posters line the wall, looking down on figures and plushes you might have abused your powers just a little bit to secure. But  not everything in your room treads into the realm of metatextUal discourse; the walls beam a bright blue, with painted white clouds lazily drifting here and there, all above a carefully (carefUlish!) tiled floor of your design.

It was a thrill, getting to build your own room.  For a brief and chaotic moment, you were able to imagine yourself a troll, out on her own and building her very own hive. And what a hive Callie Ohpeee would live in! With all the books she could ever dream of reading, and divided into hallways of shining gold and striking purple, with free balcony access so she could see the stars and admire the constellations,  and maybe, perhaps, feel a bond with the long-forgotten ancestor she would never know, and-

Ahem.

All that to say, though you didn’t quite follow the design documents of your…fictions… it was a joy being able to put your own direct spin on your living space, just like you were a real troll girl. Though, you recognize, if you were a real real troll girl, you likely wouldn’t live long enough to build your hive palace – barring, of course, all the unculled spinoff au’s where Callie lives long enough to incite a rebellion and lead the lowbloods and forgotten castes into uprising and…okay, look.

You know how this sounds. You do! It is not just for their clumsily written narratives that you look back on your Callie Ohpeee adventures with a grimace. A limeblood messiah rising up and swaying the oppressed into freedom is just less problematic when you’re a naïve cherub who has yet to meet any of the several dear friends who actually lived on Alternian soil, and would take some exception to your…generous interpretation of its actual, real world social dynamics.  It’s just something you had to grow out of!

You’re just grateful it’s an idealism you managed to put a clamp on before you were ever able to enter on a loving treatise about how romantic it would have been to be born on Alternia proper, with an actual lusus and getting to actually navigate the quadrants and…ugh. Okay, that’s enough of that. 

You see what’s happening? All your old fan fictions are coming back to haunt you, and all you wanted to do was think about your cool skaia-inspired room. And it is a very cool room indeed, IN YOUR HUMBLE OPINION.

But despite your best efforts, you fail your attempt at an elegant segue, and your embarrassing trollsona just keeps haunting your think pan brain. You close your eyes and frown as you look back on the life and times of miss Ohpeee. You were so absorbed in your own fantasy version of Alternia, where you were a hero, and didn’t have a hateful brother ruining your life, and you weren’t chained in a small room, and you weren’t ug

You give your head a shake and politely but firmly ask those thoughts to leave. You have, as previously mentioned, spent entirely too much of your life moping, and you are very well not going to let some long-standing insecurities intrude upon your narration anymore!

“and besides,” you say, a smile creeping on your face, “what part of that is fiction anymore? i am very mUch a hero, my brother is qUite dealt with, this room is notably chain-free – and, dear brain, yoU seem to have not caUght onto the fact that we are wonderfully fashionable these days!”

You breathe out the negative feelings with a sigh and give your body another stretch. You take a few more breaths, but the last one slips out as a grumble. Even with the old thoughts shown the door, you find it harder to shake off the discomfort crawling up you, from clawed foot to horned skull. You cannot ignore how aware you are, in this instant, of your own body – the sharpness of your claws, the toughness of your skin, the broadness of your shoulders; the way your cheeks curve out in almost, but by no means exactly, the way the rest of you doesn’t.

You let out another sigh, and while the discomfort doesn’t leave you, you successfully shoo out the heated comments from your brain – commentary you pointedly decide not to dignify with narration. Your smile is somewhat labored, but still sincrere.

It’s been a process, getting to where you are now, and you think you’ve got a long way to go before you can say you’re done. And, perhaps, maybe you’ll never be done – but you know that you aren’t planning on stopping anytime soon.

“i’m sUre i’ll be alright,” you say, and you very much mean it.

[anxstiel]

Broken Promises

Author: @anxstiel

Prompt: None

Pairings: None

Warnings: ANGST! Depression. Major Character Death. Sam Whump. John Whump. Mentally Unstable.

Word Count: 3,301

Modern!AU

A/N:

Mary still died in a house fire. John is nice and has settled with Sam and Dean. No monsters.

This is from Sam’s P.O.V.

I’m not actually sure if anyone has written anything like this. This idea just suddenly hit me while I was sitting on the couch and staring out the window watching birds.

Italics is narration up to the linebreak.

Sorry if the ‘keep reading’ line doesn’t work on mobile. This is probably not mobile friendly.

This has not been beta’d! All mistakes are mine!

Summary: How could Sam go on without his brother by his side?

What are you supposed to do when your brother, your hero, leaves you?

A thirteen-year-old Sam Winchester frowned from his seat on the couch as he watched his father and brother pack their hunting gear. He felt uneasy about them leaving on a hunting trip all weekend. Sam had this horrible feeling in his stomach - a feeling that something terribly wrong was going to happen, something that was going to change his life forever.

Do people expect you to mourn for a couple of weeks? Months?

Dean rolled up his jeans and shoved them into his duffel bag before glancing over at his baby brother. Seeing his frown, the eldest brother gave a soft smile and made his way over. “Hey,” he addressed softly, crouching down to look his brother in the eye. “What’s wrong, Sammy? You’re not worried about being stuck with Missouri for a weekend are you?” He lightly punches Sam’s arm in hopes to try and cheer him up. “What? Afraid to get cooties by being stuck with a girl?”

Are they thinking that you’ll get over it?

Sam wrinkled his nose at his brother’s comment. “Dean,” he argued. “I’m thirteen! I don’t believe in cooties anymore!”

Chuckling, Dean ruffled his brother’s hair. “Whatever you say, little brother.” Sam childishly stuck his tongue out at his brother - only for the gesture to be returned. John watched with a fond smile before packing away the rest of his clothes. He picked up his and Dean’s duffel bags and placed them by the door before turning and making his way to his boys.

That you’ll forget in time?

John crouched beside the brothers. “C’mon kiddo,” he nudged Sam’s shoulder affectionately. “Tell your old man what’s wrong.”

The young teen looked down at the ground, his feet swinging under him, too short to touch the ground. “Nothing,” he mumbled, shrugging. “I just want you guys to stay safe. That’s all.”

Do they not understand what he meant to you?

Dean gave his little brother a light smile and snaked his arm across his shoulders. “Sammy,” he assured. “It’s not like this is our first time! We know what we’re doing. Besides, we’ve come back after every trip. What makes this hunt so different?”

Sam didn’t know what to tell them, unable to fully understand the feeling himself. “I don’t know,” he sighed. “Just a bad feeling I guess.”

That he was the person who was always there?

“Well,” John started, lightly slapping his youngest on the back. “You have nothing to worry about, son. We’ll be back before you know it!”

“Yeah, Sammy,” Dean assured, a smile gracing his handsome features. “Sunday night, just listen for the sound of the Impala!  Dad and I will come in, cook us up some grub and continue life as normal!”

Who never left your side?

Sam knew they were just trying to ease his mind, but the feeling just wouldn’t go away.

The sound of a car door being shut from outside made the boys look towards the door. John gave Sam one last smile and ruffled his hair. He stood and went to grab their bags. Dean went to follow, but Sam quickly grabbed his hand in order to stop him.

Who stood up for you and made sure you always came first?

Dean’s eyes widened as he looked at their entangled hands but then moved up to the flushed face of his younger brother. He almost melted on the spot at the sight of those puppy dog eyes staring back at him.

“Please, Dean.” his brother’s voice was barely a whisper. “Promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you’ll come back.”

Scooping Sam up into his arms, Dean smiled as he wedged his head into his brother’s neck, his brother returning the gesture. “I promise, Sammy,” he whispered, his arms wrapped securely around Sam’s smaller frame. “I love you. You know that, right Sammy?”

He felt Sam nod against his shoulder. “I love you, too, Dean.”

He promised me he’d come back that day. It was the first time he didn’t keep his word.

“Sam?”

The voice was distant. He barely heard it.

“Sam? It’s me. It’s Jess.”

Sam’s head jerked at the name. He ripped his gaze from the blank, white wall in front of him and turned towards Nurse Moore, or as she let him call her, Jess. He smiled warmly at her and she returned it as she laid her hands on his.

“How are you today, Sam?” She asked the question quietly, not wanting to startle him and to make sure he understood that she meant no harm. He had been in this mental institution since he was eighteen. That was five years ago. When she first arrived, Sam instantly opened up to her. Since then, they became good friends and Jessica would always tell Sam about her day - but only if he would tell her about his.

The Winchester nodded his head excitedly, a big grin spreading across his handsome face. “It was great Jess! Dean and I had lots of fun!”

Jess internally sighed at the news of his newest adventure - but she kept her smile taking her hands away from his and putting a fist under her chin to hold her head up, her other hand lying lazily across her legs. “Oh?” she asked somewhat teasingly. “What did you boys do now?”

His smile only seemed to grow - if that was even possible. He quickly maneuvered himself on his bed so he could face Jessica, slightly tugging on his white clothes to make them straighten out. “Dean got bored on our way to a hunt so he started this prank war between us!”

Jessica raised an eyebrow. “A prank war, huh?”  She laughed softly. “Who won?”

He shrugged and picked at his white sweats. “It was kind of a tie. We both did some pretty great pranks but we settled it with a truce.” He smiled fondly as he thought about it. “He started it when he put a plastic spoon in my mouth when I was sleeping. He also put itching powder in my pants.” He scrunched his nose and shifted uncomfortably as if he could still feel the itch.  “I got back at him, though. I glued his bottle of beer to his hand at this diner and I also turned the Impala’s radio onto polka and turned the volume all the way up so when he turned the car on, he was in for a surprise.” He laughed at his story, looking towards the wall behind Jess in thought.

The nurse moved her head back into his view so she could get his attention. “What were you guys hunting? Was it a werewolf? Another ghost?”

Sam scrunched up his nose in annoyance. “No,” he affirmed. “These idiots in Texas thought they were real ghost hunters. They created this Tulpa. He was a tough one to beat. Dean ended up burning the whole house down!”

Jess rose her eyebrows in feigned amusement - but truly, she was worried. The stories just kept coming and he wasn’t getting better. Just a couple of months ago he was screaming about how she was killed in a fire. It took her forever to calm him down. She tried to convince him that she was still alive but even now he thought she was just a figment of his imagination - that he was in denial of her death.

“Miss Moore.”

Though the voice was quiet, it still seemed to echo in the small room. Jessica jerked towards the door to see Nurse Masters peering through the cracked door. Sam jerked his head towards the door as well and his eyes widened. He quickly turned around to the opposite side of the bed and stared quietly at the blank wall.

Jessica sighed at the sight and turned towards Meg, standing awkwardly at the door, her long black hair falling over her eyes. “What is it, Meg?” She questioned, standing up slowly and making her way out the door. She shut the door quietly, glancing through the window to see the tall, quiet figure still lost in thought.

“It’s John Winchester, Jess,” Meg admitted nodding her head to the reception desk to see an old, worn figure slumped in his waiting chair. “He’s come to check on Sam.” She looked at Jess with sympathy. “He wanted you to tell him about his son’s …” She trailed off, not wanting to say the word needed to describe the man in his room. “Condition,” she settled. “He wants to know if anything has changed since his last visit.

The nurse sighed, nodding her head in acknowledgment before giving Sam one more glance and making her way to Mr. Winchester. At the sight of her advancing form, John’s eyes widened and he stood up, trying to straighten his flannel clothing to seem more appropriate.

Jess held out her hand to him, a welcoming smile appearing on her beautiful features. “Hi, John,” she welcomed as he took her hand. “It’s good to see you back so soon for another visit!”

John chuckled lightly, a smile trying to form on his lips - but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yes, well,” he cleared his throat and moved his gaze away from the woman in front of him. “He is my son, Jessica. I had a day off and I had nothing better to do. I just thought I would check up on him again before I went and paid respects to -” he chokes up and clears his throat again, trying his best to keep his tears at bay. “Before I go and visit Dean.”

Jessica’s warm smile instantly turned sympathetic as she glanced down at the bouquet with a small array of flowers. The bouquet held sunflowers, blue hydrangeas, and gladiolus, as well as white carnations. It wasn’t the prettiest bouquet ever made, but Jess knew the flowers were being used for meaning and not beauty.

The older man followed her gaze and rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment. “I know they’re not exactly flowers that match, but,” He looks back towards her. “They hold meaning.”

Smiling, Jess put a hand on John’s arm for comfort. “I understand, John. Losing your son must have been very difficult. And then having your other son having to leave as well,” they both turned to look down the hall at the closed door. “It’s enough to make any parent go insane. You’re doing your best. I’m sure those flowers would look absolutely beautiful on Dean’s grave. I only wish I got to meet him.”

He smiled sadly. “Hmm. I could have seen you two being friends. He liked to tease and pull pranks. He was a big goofball.” John seemed to get lost in thought as he looked outside a window. “He wanted to be mechanic. He loved cars. Always had a dream of settling down with a nice girl, having kids,” he chuckled lightly. “He adored kids. He tried to act tough and manly but in truth, he would do anything to be around a kid. That’s one of the reasons why he and Sam were so close …” John trailed off and Jessica didn’t pressure him into telling more. She waited as he took a deep breath to calm himself and clear his throat. “Anyways, I’m getting off track. Has my … has his condition change?”

His hopeful expression turned downcast as she reluctantly shook her head. “I’m afraid it’s not approving. But it’s not worsening either. His condition hasn’t changed any in the past three years.”

“So he’s still coming up with these stories?”

“Yes,” she admitted. “Just before you arrived he was telling me a story of him and Dean having a prank war. They were also hunting some sort of monster again. A Tulpa I think. Whatever that is.”

“A Tulpa,” he ran a hand down his face as he thought. “Yeah, they’re, like, these monsters created by thought forms. Have enough people believe in something added with the right symbol and the creature would come to life.” He huffed a small laugh, staring at Sam’s door down the hall. “I never knew he paid attention to those tales I told him and his brother. He always hated them. He was more into the facts, not the myths.”  

“Yes, well,” Jessica looked down towards her feet, her eyes glazed with sympathy for both of the remaining Winchester’s. “It seems as if those myths have become his new reality. I wish we had better news for you, John.”

John closed his eyes and waved his hand in the air lazily to stop her. “It’s okay. You and the rest are doing the best that you can to look after him and for that, I am eternally grateful!” He turned and took the bouquet of flowers into his hand before holding it up for Jess. “Now, I believe it is time I visit my son. Could you hold these for me?”

Jessica smiled thoughtfully at him as she took them from him, lightly grazing her fingers across their petals. “I’ll make sure no harm comes to them, Mr. Winchester.” She turned away from him and made her way back to the receptionist desk. John watched her sit down by some files and finally returned her smile. The smile dropped as he stared down the familiar, blank hallway that he has been walking down for the past five years. He didn’t even realize that he moved until he found himself right outside his son's door.

Inside, Sam Winchester sat, slumped, on the edge of his bed. He eyes were glazed over as they focused on his shoes. He said no word and made no attempt of movement - just lost in his fantasies.

Quietly, John opened the door, trying his best not to spook Sam. He closed the door behind him and stood awkwardly in front of it. He was never really sure what to do during these visits. Sam would never talk back to him unless it was about something he had supposedly done in his son’s fantasy. The last time he had visited, it didn’t end very well. He had walked through the door and as soon as Sam had seen him he had started yelling about him not being there for his sons.

He could remember the day quite clearly - it was like a nice, big punch to the stomach. Sam had screamed things - things no parent would want to hear.

“Where are you?” he had grounded out, his hands turning into fists. “Why won’t you help us? Dean is dying! Your son is dying!” He was screaming at this point, advancing towards a frightened John. He stood frozen at his spot as assistants rushed in due to the noise, trying their best to hold Sam back. They sent John away and he sat in the waiting room down the hall, his face being held in his hands as he thought about his son’s words - ringing in his head, implanting themselves into his brain. He knew Sam was talking about his made-up world, but whatever was happening there had held bits of reality. Of Dean dying. Of John not being there. Of him failing both his son’s. He got back home that day and wept.

Now, looking down at the still form of his only remaining family, John didn’t want to let him down again.

Pulling up a chair, John sat down and took a deep breath, trying to think of what he could possibly say to his damaged son. “Uh, hey Sammy,” he nervously rubbed his palms on his pant legs, looking everywhere but at his son. “It’s been awhile, huh?” He mentally scolded himself. He’s acting as if the man in front of him was a complete stranger. He sat up.

“Sam. It’s me. John Winchester. Your father.” No reply. John sighed and looked towards the door, thinking over the words needed to be said. “Son, if you can hear me, I just wanna say sorry. I have no right to say that to you but I truly am sorry. I failed you. Both of you.” He looked down at his feet, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. “I made Dean break his promise to you. I wasn’t fast enough. I left him. I heard him yell. I heard the gunshot. It’s all my fault that you lost your brother.” He sniffed and rubbed at his eyes, looking back up to stare at Sam’s tense shoulders.

A soft bark of laughter bubbled in his throat as he thought of himself, as he thought of how he ruined his entire family. “Sammy,” he paused, his light laugh turning into a plea. “Please, Sammy! Say something! Anything!” He made his way in front of Sam getting down on his knees and taking his son’s face into his rough, calloused hands. Sam’s face remained stoic, his eyes still glazed over. “Sam, I just want you to talk to me. You can yell, scream - I don’t care! Just please.” He let out a sob, finally letting his tears trail down his face. No matter how hard he pleaded, Sam said nothing.

He hung his head in defeat, letting his forehead rest on his son’s - just for a moment. He let out a broken sigh and stood, making his way to the door. With one last look at Sam, he opened the door and began to make his way out - until he was stopped by a soft voice.

“He’s the one that broke his promise, Dad.”

John, his jaw hung wide open, looked at his son in amazement.

“He’s the one that promised me he would be careful,” Sam turned towards his father, his eyes dulled with emotion as he admitted the truth for the first time in years. “He’s the one that left your side. He’s the one that left.” The man turned back to his wall. “I’m sorry Dad.”

And then he was silent once more, his mind being drawn back to his world of fantasy.

John had no words. He closed his eyes as one last tear slid down his cheek. “Don’t you ever say sorry to me, son,” his voice was weak and broken, but he could only hope that Sam could still hear it. “None of this is either of you boy’s fault. None of it.” He left.  Silently shutting the door behind him, he made his way to the receptionist desk and politely thanked Jessica for holding the flowers and he left. Hopping into his Impala he drove to the graveyard and found Dean’s grave.

Placing the flowers on the grave, he began to talk.

He talked about lots of things. He talked about the shop, the cars. About new movies and shows coming out on television. It seemed he couldn’t stop talking about the advancement in technology over the years - how they now have computers almost everywhere. And then he was talking about Sam.

“Your brother,” he heaved a great sigh and watched as geese swam in the nearby pond. “He’s not getting better, Dean. I mean, he’s not getting worse, but still not better.” He hung his head. “The doctors don’t think he’ll ever come back from this. His denial is so deep. He misses his big brother.”

Lightly, he traced his hand over the smooth marble of the gravestone. He admired it and the beauty it showed. He looked over at the grave of his wife, knowing that six-feet under, the casket was empty - the body that was supposed to be there burnt to ashes in the house fire that had changed both his and his son’s lives. He sighed and turned his eyes towards the sky, a single bird flying high above.

“If only promises couldn’t be broken.”