#even now so many years after their falling out it hurts to feel rejected by him and replaced by these people

[mournflame]

How to explain that Johanna's dismissive attitude toward the chess club, especially Rook and especially a romanced Rook, is due to her jealousy

[doe-eyed-fool]

Severed

Lucifer x Reader

If having the love of your dreams fall in love with someone else was painful, him being casted out of heaven, never to be seen again, crushed you.

You had loved him for so long, and it killed you inside to have never been able to tell him that. You let your fear of rejection get the better of you, and now, you would never get the chance to tell him how you felt.

It started out as innocent friendship, and overtime blossomed into something more. You had fell for him, and you had fell hard. But it was only you who felt this way. As he would always see you as a friend, and nothing more.

And that's how it was for so long.

You'd look at him with so much love in your eyes, your chest so painfully tight, heart ready to burst.

He'd look at you with some much care and platonic love one would have for another friend.

You knew this, and it hurt you like nothing ever had. You had convinced yourself there was no point in telling him how you feel, because he'd reject you. And when that happens, nothing will be as it was before.

Your friendship would be ruined. And that alone, was far worse than rejection.

You loved him too much to loose him.

But your love was not enough to keep him around much longer.

His new, and unheard of ideas, frowned upon by so many others. He was persistent, he would not let them ruin his dream, as impossible as it might have sounded.

And because of that, he fell...

Fallen from the place he called home, from all he knew, from you, and never to return.

You don't know how long you cried for, how long you were unable to sleep or eat. You didn't even get to say goodbye. He was gone, you would never see him again.

And now, you were left with nothing but your love for him. Love, that would never been known to him. Your heart ached like never before.

But it was nothing, compared to the news you'd hear some time after that.

The man you loved, had found love of his own.

A beautiful woman, with seemingly no flaws. She was perfect. Of course she was perfect. And he loved her more than anything.

They even had a child, from what you heard.

You were devastated. Your regret became a constant reminder, day in and out, of what could have been. It should have been you, is what you thought.

But you could not be upset with him. He had found someone that made him truly happy. Who he loved with all his heart. He was happy.

That gave you some sort of comfort. That in the place he was in now, he found love and happiness unlike he's ever had before.

But it still hurt. To know that you could have, you would have given him that. You would have made him as happy as you could. You would have loved him unconditionally.

There came a time, many years later, when his child would come to heaven. When she saw you, she smiled and approached you. She seemed excited to see you. Her name was Charlie, she was a lovely young woman. She recalled the many stories her father told her of you and him together so very long ago.

You could have broke down right then. He still thought of you...

He still remembers you...

You couldn't help but ask how he was doing. Apparently, he and his wife were separated and he was not the same lively man he use to be.

Charlie had returned to her home, angry with the fact the extermination was expected early, and there was no changing the minds of the angels and seraphs above.

Exterminations. You were unaware, just as everyone else was. But when you learned of what happened every year, you couldn't help but feel panicked.

What if they hurt him? What if they kill him?

He really would be gone forever, if that were to happen. You couldn't let that happen. You wouldn't let that happen. You'd do anything to keep it from happening.

Even if it meant giving up your wings. Even if it meant falling from Heaven, just as he had so very long ago...

When you arrived, you wasted no time in finding him. You got to him through Charlie, who was more than happy to help you. She had called him to meet with her, though instead of meeting with Charlie, it would be you.

And then, there he was...

"Lucifer..."

The man you loved from the very beginning.

He looked a little different, but it was still him.

Your heart swelled in your chest, tears pooling in your eyes. So long...you've waiting so long for this day. To finally see him again. And there he is.

"Y/n? What...What are you doing here?"

His worry evident in his tone. You couldn't have possibly done something to land yourself in a place like this, could you? That's what he thought.

You explained everything, and Lucifer looked just as shocked as you thought he would. But, there was something else...

He was overjoyed to see you, of course. You thought he would never stop hugging you in a near spine breaking embrace.

But he also couldn't help but feel guilty. You had clipped your wings to be here with him.

But you didn't care. You wanted nothing more than to see him again, to hold him and to be held by him. Even with all that, you still couldn't bring yourself to confess.

Not yet...

Within the short time before the extermination began, you learned so much about him. Like his obsession with ducks, for example. Most things stayed the same however.

The two of you grew closer in that time. And when time came for the extermination, you wanted to be there by his side still. You would not allow him to be taken from you again.

Though he begged you not to join the fight, you did anyway. You were determined to spend the rest of eternity with him. Even if he didn't love you back, he was here with you now. And that's all that mattered.

In the midst of the battle you had gotten injured, you witness Lucifer's rage unfold as he killed the angel that harmed you. You witness the same rage as he protected his daughter from Adam.

Even with his demonic form, you still saw Lucifer for who is was then, and who he is now. You loved him all the same. And you were thankful, that by the end of the battle, that Lucifer was still alive.

You could die happily, knowing that...

But Lucifer would never allow that.

It was thanks to him you'd live to see another day, though, it would take some time to recover. It didn't bother you, because it meant spending more time with him.

He'd stay by your side, keeping you company, and took care of your wounds. All the while, feeling guilty. You didn't need to get involved in that fight. And you wouldn't have gotten involved and hurt, if you had stayed in heaven.

Where you belong...

You shouldn't have to be down here with the rest of those scummy sinners. You should be spending eternity in paradise, even if that paradise was only surface level. It pained him to know you gave up so much, just for him. He didn't deserve that kindness.

That's how he felt anyway.

He just couldn't understand why you'd do all of this for him.

As you recovered, as the days turned to weeks and into months, you two would only grow closer. With every passing moment, Lucifer felt his life had finally taken a turn for the better.

Of course he was happy when he and his daughter became close again, but to have you back in his life...

He swore it felt like he was dreaming.

Slowly, he began to understand. Why you would give up everything to be with him.

"I love you, Lucifer."

It was a sudden confession, but one you felt would destroy you if you never spoke the truth. You told him as you two were looking back on memories of when you were both young.

Remembering the good times, along with the painful ones. It just pushed you that much further into saying what you wanted to from the very start.

Now. Now he truly understood why.

He would do the same for you in a heart because...

"I love you too, Y/n."

It felt like heaven, hearing those words. The only thing that could top it, was the feel of his lips on your own.

So many years had gone by, neither of you knowing such bliss until now. Lucifer thought he had found it once, only for the feeling to be cut short. But now, he knew this would last.

You'd both go many years from now on, in each other's embrace, never to be severed again...

(My first time writing for Lucifer! I hope I did good lol. Might do more in the future~)

[soleilapproves]

catalyst - chapter 2

Life has many twists and turns- yours included getting rejected from med school and ending up as a manager for your burnt-out pro boxer ex-boyfriend. (Sukuna x reader)

Note: fem!reader

fanfic masterlist / main masterlist

It had been two years since you had seen and felt Sukuna’s naked body. Two years too long. You never realized how much you missed out on his life when your hands began to roam around his shoulders. He had gotten bigger and firmer. His body was always much larger than yours, but this was on a different level. He was an athlete, after all. Shoulders that were once just broad were now bulging with muscles. His arms almost looked like water waves, subtly flexing with every movement. He was thicker than an average man. 

You couldn’t help but wonder if he could bench press you. He did once before, but now it probably would’ve been like lifting a feather.

His fingers and knuckles were rougher than the ones you were used to, probably because of all the sparring and weight training. Most of his body was now covered in harsh black tattoos. The ones beneath his eyes stood out the most because they matched Yuuji’s scars. You wanted to ask what they meant, but you kept quiet, still resenting him for never reaching out after the breakup. Unprofessional, but could you blame yourself, especially with how things have been going lately? 

Unlike you, Sukuna was surprisingly civil after learning that you would live with him. Simply nodded and gave you a brief run down of where everything was in the high-rise apartment. He didn’t even ask why you, of all people, were suddenly helping him. Uraume was surprised but didn’t press on the matter as much.

“You’ve lost weight.” You could feel the vibrations of his rich and husky voice through the washcloth that you were scrubbing across his chest. Your first task as a ‘highly involved’ manager was to give him a sponge bath after his discharge from the hospital. His shoulder was still healing from the dislocation, so he had to wear a cast. “Hope you weren’t studying too hard.”

His comments fall deaf to your ears as you wring the washcloth in the bathtub. You silently wrap him in a warm fluffy towel and mutter a simple ‘up’ so you could clean the foam surrounding the ledge he was sitting on. You could feel his red eyes burning holes into your skull as you wiped down the area. He stayed in the bathroom the entire time you cleaned up the space, almost like he was waiting for you to guide him back to his room despite being perfectly capable of walking.

You thought he was just messing with you like he did back when you were together, but no, he was just looking at all the changes in your body after not seeing you for so long. It’s not like you had social media so he could look up your appearance. 

Sukuna wanted to send a private investigator after you. Still, he knew it was unethical (also because he was afraid he’d find out if you were in a serious relationship. He wouldn't know what to do with himself if it was true).

You groaned as you stood back up, stretching to relieve the pain in your back. “Your back still hurts? I’ve told you so many times that your posture sucks while you’re studying.” His looming presence just had you more annoyed. 

“You should rest.” You subtly tried to suggest that you wanted to be left alone.

“And you should show a little respect. You work for me now.” 

“Uraume’s my boss. Not you.” You were really working up a sweat, and you couldn’t tell if it was because of the humidity in the bathroom or if you were raging on the inside. What made him think he could act all holier than thou after two years of no contact? Especially after being an asshole while breaking up. It’s like you could still see that side of him when you looked into his eyes. “I’ll have dinner ready after my shower.” And with that, you left the bathroom.

-

Preparing dinner was a dull affair. Uraume told you that you need not cook for Sukuna as he had a nutritionist who had created a meal plan for him and a chef who strictly adhered to it. All you had to do was store and heat the meals after the chef delivered them. Uraume also had the courtesy of having meals cooked for you, the same as Sukuna, but yours were more indulgent (more dipping sauces and fewer veggies). You were glad your job was simpler than you expected. In this economy, free accommodation and less money spent on groceries were a blessing.

You opened the disposable box of food for Sukuna, and it had all the things required for a balanced diet. It makes sense; his management probably doesn’t want him to lose or gain too much weight while recovering. It was the basics: half an avocado for healthy fats, grilled salmon for protein, lots of veggies for fiber, and an unimaginable amount of black beans with rice. Funny, did his nutritionist not know that he disliked them? Unlike him, you never had an issue with the legume, so you took some out of his box and put them in yours. So what if he had fewer beans for dinner? The man was injured, and as much as you resented him, you weren’t going to be a monster with him.

Sukuna entered the kitchen, sans t-shirt. You didn’t bother asking him why he was half-naked because you knew his reasoning would be something about you already knowing what his bare body looked like. 

Not with all the new muscles you didn’t. But you brushed that thought aside. 

“Is that my old shirt?”

You looked down and noticed that your oversized t-shirt was indeed his. It must’ve been in the back of your closet while the movers had brought in all your stuff. You had a lot of oversized clothes, but by some miracle, you happened to wear one that belonged to your ex. Your ears felt hot with humiliation. 

“I didn’t realize it. Must’ve forgotten to throw it away.” You said while setting up your plates. “It’s fine. Keep it. Haven’t thought about that shirt since… well- whatever. Just keep it.” He almost said it. He almost talked about it out loud. It felt weird hearing about it after so long. It shouldn’t be this strange. The breakup was a mutual decision that you both made and though it was something you had done out of pure frustration and anger, it was still something you both had done together. Pretending like it never happened was just never going to work. Not when you were meant to be with him 24/7.

However, you decided to push that conversation for another day. If it’s meant to happen, then it’ll happen; there’s no point in rushing it. You slid your plate next to your former lover’s seat on the dining table, and he said nothing when he noticed that he had fewer beans than you. Thank goodness. He didn’t need to know that you were still a little soft for him despite all the prickliness of the past.

You were about to lift your fork to eat when Sukuna loudly cleared his throat. “Aren’t you gonna feed me?” he flatly asked. 

“I’m not your-” you were about to tell him off, but then you remembered that his dominant hand was in a cast. 

“- sorry.” Embarrassed once again, you picked his fork up to feed him a piece of broccoli. “Sprinkle a little salt on that,” he said while chewing, giving you quite a gross view of the ground vegetable in his mouth. You held back your grimacing for the sake of your job and did as he asked. He grinned when you placed a salted broccoli in his mouth. “Now, give me a little salmon with that.” 

“Sukuna, can you please chew with your mouth closed,” you said while cutting out a bite-sized piece of his salmon. “You still love nagging me, huh? Also, cut a bigger piece. My mouth’s bigger than yours, hon.” 

You glared at him through your lashes and swore you could almost see him smile. Not the genuine kind, but the type that made you want to slap his face. His gorgeous, chiseled face. The one that once looked at you with everlasting love. You squeezed your eyes shut to escape your stupid daydreams. 

The past is past. You’re now in front of an egotistical dumbass. Not your lovable ex.

You cut up a bigger piece of salmon and tried your best to stop yourself from shoving it into his mouth. “That’s more like it,” he mumbled (after chewing since you had so respectfully asked). 

If only you knew that Sukuna was ambidextrous because he had broken his dominant hand while sparring too many times.

-

The last task for the day was icing his bruises for a few minutes before bed. Sukuna was sitting on his bed, head facing you while you were close enough to stand between his legs. He ignored his urge to pull you into his embrace for his sanity. After preparing the ice pack, you pressed it on his purple and yellowing bruises. Uraume had told you that he refused any kind of treatment back at the hospital, so they were getting worse. 

They weren’t wrong; you could see the pain on Sukuna’s face after he had neglected his wounds for so long. He had a particularly gnarly one beneath his left pec, and you bent down to reach it properly. Your head was below his chin, and he could smell your shampoo.

Strawberries. He noted that you still hadn’t changed your shampoo. You were always a stickler for consistency. He began to feel nostalgic as he remembered that there was a time when he used to smell like the same shampoo after staying at your place. His mind drifted to when you both showered together for the first time, how you lathered the shampoo in your hand and carefully massaged it on his scalp. No masseuse or physiotherapy had ever been that relaxing for him compared to the magic in your hands. He remembered how his pillow would smell like you for hours after you’d leave his place. Now, seeing you here was getting him worked up. Would his house begin to smell like your perfume now that you were here? He wanted to set fire to all your clothes and only let you wear his if it meant that all his clothes would smell like you. Two years have gone by, and he still feels like he wants to inject you in his veins.

All while Sukuna was in his nostalgic dreamland, you were trying your best not to focus on his pebbled nipples, courtesy of the ice pack.

—

taglist: @sukubusss @kyo-kyo1 @kensqueent @totallygyomeiswife

[grapejuicestyless]

To Love, To Love, To Love

Harry Styles x fem!reader

Summery: You thought you were over him in every way possible, but you can never really kill feelings that strong.

His curls were soft between my fingers, knuckle deep in his hair, pulling out the tangles with each curl of my fingers.

He hummed appreciatively against my chest, his cheek pressed to my body, lips resting heavily between the valley of my breasts. I could feel each breath lingering on my skin, his lip balm smeared on my shirt, one he had bought for me the night before to match.

“They just threw away the entire plot line in the fourth movie, I don’t get it. It’s like everything that made the first three so good was completely ruined for the sake of some extra cash.” Harry mumbled tiredly, pointing at the tv with narrowed eyes.

“This company always does this, can you even be surprised? Every successful franchise always becomes a cash grab for them.”

Harry hummed, and the sound vibrated against my body. It was all so serene between us. A calm after a whirlwind of a few years.

Harry and I had been two wild dogs, chasing after each other’s tails, running in desperate circles yet we ran at the same pace, and we never figured out how to capture what we wanted.

So many nights had been spent crying over the boy, how my heart ached with affection for my best friend, how badly I needed him to want me. I began dressing better for him, and carrying around mints with the hope that maybe the next time I would see him, he would have me.

But I was a dog with a bird at his door, giving him something valuable to myself that it seemed he never wanted.

Harry did the same things. He’d been drowning in his love for his best friend for so long, aching pains in his bones from the waiting for me. He’d never wanted anything more, but the talking from strangers and advice from friends led us astray. How could the other love each other? How could our best friend develop feelings for us? It all seemed so impossible, and the tears drowned us until we flushed out, and our conversations ran dry.

Nobody tells you that even once you move on, those feelings never really leave. Even now, after years of silence that neither of us meant to keep, after we convinced ourselves we flushed away our devotion and joked about how blind we were, with his head on my chest now I feel especially warm in the familiar house.

You can fall out of love with people, but there will always be that lingering feeling of “what if.” A feeling that bubbles until the warmth returns and your situations draw you back into the storm like a riptide pulling you under. Part of me would always love Harry, only now I liked him much more to ever try and be in love with him again.

Silence is much worse than any rejection. The heartache of realizing you lost contact three months deep hurts much worse than any apology for not returning your feelings. It’s like a knife.

We’ve grown now, we’re older, we can control ourselves. We aren’t teenagers who run around kissing the people by the bars, we stay inside and don’t go looking for something that will someday find us. When I complain that I want to kiss someone, to be kissed, he raises his hand eagerly and smiles, declaring he wants to press his lips to mine. But it’s all a joke now, or that’s how I see it.

Maybe to him, it’s not. Maybe when we make jokes about being in love, about the songs he wrote for me in my wake and the tears I shed over him it’s because part of it is still true, maybe we just don’t believe it anymore. Harry once loved me just as hard and true as I once did for him. Though we may not be chasing after one another, I know that part of him still loves me too.

When we’re forty and single, we’ll get married, and we’ll laugh about how long it took us to get together, but for now he lays on my chest and makes fun of some old movies that seemed better when we were kids. He points out the bad green screen that we never caught when we were younger, and his laughter will echo through my bones.

And I’ll soak up every moment with him, because even if we never happened, at least I have him. At least we never became strangers.

[strwbrryeyes]

nini !! :3 how about… bokuto havin’ a big ol’ crush on a shy girl ?? how do they get together ?? maybe his crush on her gets exposed… and he’s super surprised she likes him back ?? let your mind run free with it !! <333

𖦹°｡⋆ Hiding feelings (and behind volleyball carts) (bokuto x reader)

⟡ cw: shy reader, she/her pronouns, fluff, comfort? but no hurt, fainting, not proofread, lmk if i missed anything.

⟡ a/n: trying to come out of my writer's block so I'm going to start with requests before continuing the last legs of my best friend series and then officially starting my suna long fic. also im trying to start putting pronouns in cw's so bear with me if i ever forget to add that warning. also ty lene for requesting this! i'll do your other one at a later time :3 sorry if it's messy im rusty </3

“You’re staring at her again, Bo” konoha snaps bokuto out of the trance he’s in.

“I can’t help it! She’s so pretty” Bokuto responds in a lovesick tone as he turns back around to look at you with hearts practically forming in his pupils.

“It’s hopeless, he’s never going to man up enough to ask her out properly.” Komi sighs causing the rest of the team to nod in defeat.

“He’s going to have to eventually, he’s liked her since their first year and now they’re entering the end of their last year in high school.” Akaashi states as he watches his best friend fall more in love with you as you laugh with Yukie and Kaori.

Bokuto Koutaro has had the fattest crush on you since first year of high school. You were sat next to him so naturally he really tried to get to know you but you never really opened up to him. You didn’t have many friends (you still don’t), you only had two friends, luckily for Bokuto, those friends were Fukurodani’s very own manageers, Yukie and Kaori. There were countless times where Bokuto would beg the two girls to convince you to come watch during practice so he could show off and seem cool to you. Sometimes you would come to practice just so you could spend more time with your two best friends, and while you were impressed by Bokuto, all you could manage to give him was a small smile and a single thumbs up. Even though it wasn’t much, it still made Bokuto melt on the spot. Everything about you was wonderful to him, the epitome of beauty, sweetness, and kindness, all he was missing was your affection and love.

After a few more minutes, the coach calls for the break the team was on to be over and everyone goes back to their places while you remain on the bleachers. As you wave to your friends, you see Bokuto looking at you with a soft smile, much different from his usual big, large, and bright grin that he wears everywhere. You don’t know what it is about it, but this makes you blush. Maybe you sense that it’s different, maybe it’s wishful thinking that that smile is only meant for you, after all you did have a crush on him. You’ve had a crush on him as long as he’s had a crush on you but you could never say anything to him for the fear you might get rejected. After all, he was the most extroverted person in school - maybe the world - and you were just…there…exisitng with only two close friends. You could never be Bokuto’s type. You’ve been saying this for three years to yourself all while you don’t know the truth about how he feels.

Practice is finally over after about an hour and you go down to the main floor to get ready to leave with Yukie and Kaori while the boys go to the lockeroom to change. The three of you talk for a bit before the coach calls them to help with cleaning the gym leaving you alone again. You take this time to walk around the gym as you never really looked around before. You see all these posters and banners with the team’s motto “one ball, heart, and soul”. you smile at the saying as you think about how this is seen in all of the players. All of the boys on the volleyball team shows their love and passion for the game but of course, one player stood out from all the rest, Bokuto. You find yourself thinking about Bokuto and all the ways he shows his love for the sport. Every move he makes, every serve he does, every cheer he shouts, and every grin he has plastered on his face when he scores. You loved that grin. 

You’re deep in thought when you hear the gym door open and hear voices the belong to the boys on the volleyball team.  Scared of being seen, you hide behind the volleyball cart. It’s not like you were doing anything wrong, you just really hated social situations and you don’t know where Yukie and Kaori disappeared off to even though they were just in the gym moments ago. You feel a bit of nervousness start to kick in as you hear their voices get closer and that’s when you hear your name causing you to snap out of your nerves and to listen in.

“Did you see the way [name] smiled when I did that serve today?” The voice belonging to Bokuto asked excitedly followed by a chorus of groans by the other team members.

“Yes Bokuto,” Akaashi sighs as he waves goodbye to the rest of the team who are speedwalking out of the gym to avoid Bokuto’s gushing “and before you ask, yes I saw how she looked at you when you nearly knocked Washio’s hand off with your spike.”

“She’s the best isn’t she?” Bokuto asks as he sits down on a bench in the gym. “I just wish I could tell her that but I’m scared she’ll run away.”  He says calmly to Akaashi who raises a brow.

“Why would she run away?” Akaashi questions Bokuto’s reasoning to why he can’t tell you how he feels.

“Well you know how quiet and shy she is,” Bokuto starts off “and you know how loud I am. What if [name] doesn’t like that? I don’t want her to hate me just because we have clashing personalities.” He explains to his best friend in a slightly defeated tone making you furrow your eyebrows as you slowly peek over the volleyball cart to get a quick look at the ace and setter.

Akaashi chuckles a bit before responding to Bokuto “First off, I’m surprised you’re self aware at how loud you are,” he says earning a ‘watch it’ from Bokuto, “Secondly, I really think you should tell her how you feel. The end of the school year is coming up and who is to say you’ll ever see her again? You really want to leave high school without even trying?” Akaashi asks Bokuto making him think for a while before he shakes his head.

“I just can’t do it, Akaashi.” Bokuto slumps while sitting while Akaashi pats his back. Right now, in Bokuto’s mind, he thinks he’d be better off keeping his feelings to himself instead of the possibility of rejection. Meanwhile, your mind is going a million miles per second as you just found out that the guy you’ve had the biggest crush on for years feels the same way. what do you do now? Come out of hiding and tell him how you feel? No, that’s too bold and he might think you’re weird for eavesdropping like this. What about just waiting for him to confess? Nope, he made it sounds like he wasn’t going to tell you for sure.

After what feels like forever with your thoughts, you hear the door next to the volleyball cart open to see Yukie and Kaori. Your eyes quickly widen and hurry to shush them before they say anything but it fails as they walk towards you.

“Sorry we took so long [name], coach had us do some pape- what are you doing behind there?” Yukie asks as she moves the cart out of the way earning her a glare from you. Meanwhile, a few feet away, Akaashi and Bokuto are staring at you with their jaws practically on the floor.

“What’s up with you two?” Kaori asks as she walks over to them, waving her hand in fron of their eyes while they’re still in complete shock. Akaashi is the first to snap out of it, he then shakes Bokuto who somewhat comes to his senses. 

Turning to look down at you still on the floor, Akaashi clears his throat “[name], I thought you left already.” Akaashi tries to say cooly as he glances to Bokuto quickly who is still in shock.

“Haa…nope! Still here!” you laugh nervously as you’re pulled up from the ground by Kaori and Yukie who give each other confused looks.

“So out of curiosity, no other reason…” Akaashi starts off coyly as he sways a bit “how much of our conversation did you hear…” he asks in a quiet nervous tone.

“Not much!” you start to answer with a lie but couldn’t help yourself “okay that was a lie I heard everything!” you blurt out and Akaashi widens his eyes and quickly turns back to Bokuto who is still on the bench. He quickly rushes to catch Bokuto who is about to fall off of the bench as he looks like his soul has left his body completely. Bokuto has passed out.

While everyone sits around Bokuto’s passed out body, you and Akaashi explain everything to Kaori and Yukie who end up laughing their heads off.

“[name]! That’s hilarious! I’m so glad we left you here!” Kaori cackles out before calming down and standing up. “Now you have to confess to him.” She says seriously as Yukie stands up as well. You facepalm and turn to look at Akaashi who has a confused look on his face.

“You like Bokuto back, [name]?” He asks and you nod making him look back to the two managers “and the both of you knew and didn’t say anything? Even though you knew they both liked each other back?” he questions them and they laugh nervously.

“Well would you look at the time! We gotta go!” Yukie shouts as her and Kaori run out of the gym leaving you behind with both of the boys.

Sighing, Akaashi looks at you softly. “[name], I know we aren’t close by any means but Bokuto is my best friend and I think it would really benefit the both of you if you both talked about your feelings. Can you do that?” Akaashi explains and asks you. You think for a bit before sighing and nodding.

“I can do that. Thank you, Akaashi.” you thank the setter while smiling.

“Well then, I’ll leave you two to it,” Akaashi stands up and looks at Bokuto’s body still splayed out on the ground “he’ll wake up in a bit don’t worry.” He assures you before walking out of the gym before you could even protest to being alone with Bokuto. Akaashi was right though, it only took one minute after he left for Bokuto to start waking up.

“Hey Bokuto.” you smile sweetly at Bokuto as his eyes flutter open. He stares up at you in confusion for a bit before he remembers what happens and quickly sits up.

“[name]! Hi! Listen I’m so sorry I understand if you hate me now but please don’t run awa-” Bokuto starts rambling out an apology before you start giggling “What’s funny? Are you not mad? Are you making fun of me?” more panic overtakes Bokuto but you get ahold of his hands and look at him.

“Bo,” you catch his attention using a nickname which also makes him blush “don’t worry about it. I’m not mad and i’m not making fun of you.” you let out a sigh and close your eyes before continuing “Honestly, I have a crush on you too, I have since first year. I never told you because I was worried you would think I’m too quiet or too boring…basically your reason but the opposite,” you let a nervous giggle out before opening your eyes up again “I know you didn’t want me to find out like this so I I understand if you don’t want to talk about this right now.” You finish your own rambling and look up at Bokuto who looks like he’s frozen. “Bokuto?” you say his name and it snaps him out of his daze and a few seconds later, Bokuto’s face is centimeters away from your face making you blush like crazy and have your heart beating loud and fast.

“Do you really like me? You’re not just saying that?” Bokuto asks seriously as his golden eyes stare into your own eyes and you nod which makes him let go of your hands and jump up to cheer. After a few more louds noises of excitement and happiness, Bokuto holds his hand out in front of you to pull you up to which you offer. After being pulled up to your feet, Bokuto brings you in for a tight hug, catching you off guard but you end up hugging him back. “I’m so happy to hear that, [name].” He mumbles into your hair quietly making you giggle.

You pull back a bit to smile up at him “I’m really happy too, Bo.” you use his nickname again causing him to audibly swoon.

“I love hearing you say that,” he sighs lovingly as he closes his eyes before looking back at you “and I love you..” he whispers but then quickly panics as your eyes widen in response “I’m so sorry is it too soon? Oh my god I haven’t even asked you to be my girlfriend yet, I’m an idiot.” Bokuto rambles once again before you cut him off by kissing him on the cheek.

“Stop apologizing and worrying,” you chuckle as you look at his flushed, red face “I love you too…I don’t care if it’s too soon, I know I do.” you smile sweetly at him making him calm down

“Well then, [name], will you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?” Bokuto asks you quietly, smiling the same soft smile from earlier. The one you wanted to believe was made for you.

“Of course, Bokuto, I would love to be your girlfriend!” You answer him with joy and his smile grows bigger and...yeah, that smile was made for you and only you. Bokuto then picks you up and spins you around before giving you a soft kiss on the lips to which you kiss him back. 

After a few seconds you both pull away and look at each other with so much love before you’re both surprised to hear cheering coming from outside the the gym. Turning to look out the window, you see Kaori, Yukie, and Akaashi staring inside from the other side of the window. The sight make the both of you smile widely before Bokuto sets you on the ground again to grab his things.

“Shall we go?” Bokuto takes your hand in his and gestures towards your friends and the door.

“Yes we shall.” You respond after kissing his cheek. 

The both of you then walk out of the gym to join your three friends outside to walk home, but not before Bokuto yells out “[name] is my girlfriend!” in the loudest voice he could possibly let out causing you to bury your face in his side while the others laugh at him. 

This relationship is going to be fun.

[alwayscorvus]

Feeling Obliged

Feeling Obliged

Part 2 of "Do not forget your place", but u can read Part 2 without reading Part 1 bodyguard!malereader x Yuanwu;

Several weeks have passed since that incident. You were probably already approaching three months. But you weren't too concerned about it. You had lived together for so long that such a period of time wasn't a big deal for you. Besides, you didn't expect that anything would change.

After so many unrequited gestures, one sentence of disapproval was enough. The longer you thought about it, the more you wondered why such a minor quarrel, not even big enough for a serious argument, could successfully and completely change your view of world and your relationship with person dearest to you. The only one dear to you.

After looking into it, you came to the conclusion that your first thesis was true. And fact that Yuanwu rejected your help and affection was the biggest reason why it hurt you so much.

Yet, things like that happened many times before.

After all, more than once, sensing danger, you quickened your pace, passed your boss and, with a sudden movement, put your straightened arm out in front of Yuanwu's chest. Bumping against his body and blocking his further path.

While Yuanwu, as always pushed your arm away and kept moving. Falling into the trap.

Or, more than once, after carefully studying his new companions, and expressing your doubts and evidence of they impure intentions, you almost begged him to not meet them.

While Yuanwu, as always shrugged it off and came back with bruises and cuts. Or rather… you did.

You experienced plenty situations of that kind. But you quessed that everyone has to break at some point. Despite the big amount of things they endured. Or precisely because of them. And that particular event, a few weeks ago, was exactly your final straw.

Because of which you moved out. Yes. After more than ten years of living together, you finally moved out. You were proud to say that you finally had your first own apartment. After being kicked out of family home because of debts, your only chapter in life was Yuanwu. And now… Now you even had your own place to live. One that you earned by yourself, with work of your own hands. True, it was a job under Yuanwu and therefore his money…, but still, it was the idea that counted.

Apartment was tiny. One room included both: a single bed, a TV corner with double sofa, and a kitchenette wide for only two cabinets with refrigerator. Only bathroom was actually separated. However, that was enough for you. What more could a bodyguard without hobbies or friends need. Especially since you were in your new home only occasionally. Mostly to sleep. Your job, after all, was mostly 24/7.

Yes, you also considered quitting your job and leaving past behind. But you couldn't. Something was holding you back. And it wasn't even that stubborn desire to take care of the only person close to you, anymore. Rather, it was a sense of obligation. You owed Yuanwu a lot. In fact, your entire existence. He gave you a reasons to live when you were lost, helpless and completely vulnerable. Gave you the resources. Became your mentor and only friend. If it weren't for him, you'd probably still be wandering around this shabby streets. Begging for pennies for food. Getting into fights with passersby. Sleeping covered with cardboard boxes. Or worse… You would no longer be on this world at all.

Since you protected him for so long with your body and Yuanwu had already gotten used to a walking shield around him, you couldn't just abandon him. Even if he strongly believe that he was doing great on his own.

Something could happen…

Not that you were still openly bothered about his well-being!

Since that event, you have become cold. What's more, you haven't spoken a word. You only used head movements to greet and express agreement. You stopped voicing your opinion on any topics of conversation. And in strictly business matters, requiring some kind of report or information about someone, you used documents made beforehand and directly handed to Yuanwu at the right moment.

You also rarely granted Yuanwu with a glance. For most of the time, you stared blankly into a space, looking out for some kind of threat. This was something your boss couldn't stand anymore and that's a reason why he finally broke.

At first he waited about two weeks without reacting. Since you didn't say anything, he didn't either. He thought that it was just a short phase. That it would pass soon. A teenager's rebellion.

The problem is that you were no longer a teenager.

Starting from your first meeting, you were a grown-up man who made aware decisions. And whatever Yuanwu did, whatever he hoped for, he couldn't change your feelings, behaviors or goals.

He could only try to accept them or slightly modify them. Show a different way, a different approach.

That's why, around a third week, he was the one who took the lead. He started chatting about trivial matters. Gossips from the market, stories from the gym. Things that he was already in a habit of doing. Almost as if nothing had happened.

However, that didn't help either. What's more, it even worsen the situation. You felt annoyed by his ignorance.

For a good week and a half he tried to force a chat with you. In company of a finest teas, imported from distant countries.

Corners of your mouth didn't twitch even by a millimeter by that.

Yuanwu began to miss your laughter, your smile… Your teasing, your jokes, your remarks. Your habits and weaknesses. Everything.

He began to miss you.

Moment of brokenness and weakness arrived. Yuanwu came to the conclusion that there was no point of trying and he started living as normal again.

You got surprised by his attitude. This lack of patience was definitely not in his style. But maybe you were the reason why he acted this way. Not that you had any hopes for meaning anything more to him.

After some time however he realized once again that he couldn't live without you being your actual true self. And he began to put an effort again

In quite extreme time you have already experienced many stages. Which led you to your current situation.

-Here. The one that I made when you first came to me - he said rather proudly, placing another cup of hot tea on a small wooden pallet.

You spared it only with a glance. Memories floated back, but you weren't easy to bribe. You let him sit next to you on a comfortable cushions that covered a small linen patio sofa.

Although you were not interested in the drink, some passing by bee decided to leave one of the flowers of surrounding you greenery and get closer to that sweet aroma.

Yuanwu clearly wasn't happy with this turn of events.

-I think that's enough. We should just finally make up and forget about it.

You turned to him rapidly. Moving slightly back and looking truly dumbfounded. You couldn't believe in what you were hearing.

-Don't look at me like that, just listen. We are too old to feel offended. And we've been through too much to let one minor encounter, where you got hurt, ruin it all. It's ridiculous-

You couldn't stand it. You rose from your chair and glared.

-No, you listen. You know very well that it wasn't about that meeting. Nor was it about the fact that I got wounded. More than once I got your bullets or risked my life for you. I didn't care. And I don't care. Because i love you -you spat the words through your teeth, almost reaching to the point of screaming- You know this, you always knew. But you didn't do anything about it. For so many years you gave me hope just to one day, about which I am currently doing such a fuss about according to you, took it all away from me. And you know why? I know. Because you don't care about my feelings. You never cared about them. Unless they fitted to your own idea. Unless it was convenient for -pure venom came out of your mouth- But quees what. I'm done with that. I'm done chasing you. And if you're missing anything now, it's a person completely in love with you. Who you won't get again, because you didn't want it yourself.

You almost knocked yourself out, but thanks to your determination and clenched fists, you managed to convey whole message.

Yuanwu looked at you terrified. Exactly like in that alley. You hated that.

Now it was even more clear to him that he would not get back the old, obedient version of you. That the only version he could get was the one with romantic feelings. Which could dangerously start to fade away if Yuanwu didn't get his shit together.

Annoying knocking woke you up from your afternoon nap. You growled at it displeased. Only one person knew your address. That's why you didn't even hope for the noise to die quickly.

-Coooming! - you shouted truly unwelcomingly.

You opened a door without even looking at who it was. In a hurry, you returned to your beloved bed and threw yourself on it with all the weight of your body.

As expected, Yuanwu quickly made himself comfortable. He crossed the threshold of your apartment, closed the door and looked around. This was the first time he had been here. You hadn't allowed him to help you choose a place to live previously, despite his insistent requests.

Yuanwu scanned your property with judging eyes. Apartment may have been very neat and tidy. But definitely too small for you. You would have been better at his place. He couldn't understand how you could want to move away from him.

Or rather, he didn't want to understand. But he had to. And that's why he was here.

Blue Yuanwu took off his coat and laid it gently on the couch along with his hat. Trying not to prolong, he took a heavy seat on a bed right next to you. He rested his elbows on his thighs and bent down. Admiring a wooden floor by that.

Yuanwu took a deep breath.

-Sorry. I know that I was being an… how people your age call it? An asshole?

Good start.

-Shut up, you are not that much older from me.

You playfully kicked him with your foot, turning your back to him. You settled down with your arms crossed. Trying hard to avoid his gaze. Almost pretending to be offended. Even though all your grudge from yesterday had long since passed. Finally, after so many weeks of sitting in silence and contemplating, emotions began to drain themselves away. And the last dose of them left with your confession. Which itself became some kind of cleaning ritual to you. Admitting a long-hidden secret after such a long time allowed you to experience true peace of mind.

Yuanwu snickered at your words.

-Right. I could never process this information and therefore accept it. I have always had a sense of responsibility towards you. Ever since I first saw you… With scratched face, stained clothes, and that torn olive sleeveless shirt. Despite your pitiful state, you kept hitting that boxing bag with whole heart. That impressed me. Or whatever you can call that feeling -he waved his hand after a second of doubt- You had that fierce look in your eyes. Although I have to admit that your first punches were pretty shitty-

He teased you and received a new nudge in return.

-Look, I know what you're hoping for. And you're right, I knew for a long time. After the first year of our relationship, something began to change. I didn't understand it at first. Never in my life would I think that-

He paused for a moment and, slightly stressed, began to play with his fingers.

-But then that bartender dropped a comment after you went to the bathroom. And elderly saleswomen from a market began to question the character of our relationship. Then it got to me. But I didn't do anything about it. And it's not because I don't care about your feelings. Everything I've done for these past years, I've done only for you and your happiness, you know that.

Yuanwu's voice wasn't cracking, it was well balanced and toned down as always. However, he was slowly finding it harder and harder to choose his words. Admitting the truth hurt. Not only him, but also you. But you couldn't turn around. You didn't want to look at him, you couldn't. Not now.

He lifted his gaze up toward the ceiling. Relaxed his muscles a little and, after another inhale, continued:

-But I just didn't know if I could give it to you. What you were hoping for all along. Whether I was able to return your feelings. Over time it became easier to simply pretend, to ignore. When you started talking in the alley about how you cared about me-

He hesitated for a moment.

-I couldn't let you continue. I was afraid that this would be the moment when you would finally confess your feelings to me. And I will no longer be able to pretend it's not there. Live in my perfect illusion- he snickered over a hilariousness of his persona- But it was of little use. Because it all came crashing down anyway. My perfect peace collapsed like a house of cards. And I can't be surprised. Everyone has his limits. And I abused yours all too much.

You nodded your head to yourself. You had to admit that here he was right. Nevertheless, what were you supposed to do with this information?

-Will you finally look at me? -he asked with anticipation.

You persisted unmoved.

Yuanwu merely sighed. But he didn't intend to back off. Not now. Not after all this time.

-I know I hurt your feelings a lot. But I hope you will forgive me despite everything. At least for the sake of our good old days. And if you let me- If-… If you-…. If you guide me-…. I-… -

He really couldn't get it out.

-I'll be the happiest man on earth if you teach me what it's like to love.

You immediately rose up from your place.

-Yuanwu, you don't have to-.

-But I want to. And not out of guilt. Nor do I want to bribe you to come back to me. I want to do it for myself. No matter how selfish it may sound. By those weeks when you didn't speak to me I realized -voice got caught in his throat- that I can also feel something more. And it's not just a matter of habit. I simply learned to look at you from a different perspective.

Yuanwu went breathless. He felt a sudden embrace on him. Your strong arms squeezed him tightly from behind. The feeling was so… warm. Completely different from others. From hugs of gym customers, good old friends, or mothers grateful for teaching their sons love of sport and rescuing them from a bad crowd. This gesture was marked with something special. Something like an endless longing.

-Yuanwu -you said in a serious voice, trying to cool your thoughts- I forgive you and promise to come back to you in my old version. But you really don't have to do that. I don't want you to-

Yuanwu stopped you and turned his head in your direction. Feeling his piercing gaze, you opened your eyes, which you unknowingly clenched a minutes ago. Overwhelmed by emotions.

You were now looking straight at each other, and your faces were separated just by millimeters.

-But what if I don't want the old you? What if I want to get to know the new you?

His voice suddenly became soft. Almost sweet, melodic, as if... seductive?

A spark went through your body.

In a split second, your bodies moved on their own. And your lips joined, sealing your new contract.

[wannabanauthor]

I need to have a word with Tommy Kinard:

Tommy, sir, remember when Buck wanted to spend time with you, and the first idea was to ask you for a tour? Then he wanted to take you out for a drink.

Then he showed up to a basketball game just to see you. He injured his best friend to see you. He interrogated a teenager to find out more information about you. He complained to his sister and Chimney about you being so cool.

We’re not gonna talk about that first date because you looked just as caught off guard as he did when Eddie showed up. (Tim, you had the perfect chance to write the line “did you kiss and makeup?” And you didn’t do it. You’re an idiot).

But you knew you would be Buck’s first boyfriend when you gave him a second chance. You chose to continue dating him for six months. Y’all were having regular sleepovers. You got happy about finding a parking space and didn’t want to lose it. And you showed up with no duffle bag or anything, so you had some spare clothes and toiletries at Buck’s loft.

Instead of rejecting the notion of moving in together, you could have just counter offered sharing of keys. Y’all love spending time together. You have more than enough future time to see if you guys would last forever. There are smaller steps you could have taken before breaking up with Buck.

I know you panicked and ran because you’re scared of Buck breaking your heart. But have you seen the way that man looks at you? Have you seen how much he wants to be with you? He doesn’t want to get hurt either, and you broke his heart.

So what was he to you? I know you said you wouldn’t be able to deal with him breaking your heart, but you didn’t think for even a second that he also might be scared that you would break his heart? His little proposal definitely wasn’t the right move, and he said so many wrong things, but that’s because he resolved his issues without you hearing how he went about it?

Y’all were practically already living together. And you were romancing the fuck out of him at every step. Are you really surprised that he wanted to live with you? You were a damn good boyfriend to him, and he loved it. And he tried to be the same for you.

Just because you’re his first boyfriend doesn’t mean you can’t be his last. He’s been in relationships before. He’s not a complete newbie to serious relationships. Just because you’re a man, it doesn’t invalidate his previous relationships with women.

Not to mention six months is like 6 years in gay time. I don’t get why he didn’t tell you he loved you, but considering you went blue screen when he asked you to move in, maybe it was an understandable call for him to make.

Just give him a chance. He was all in when it came to you, and you broke up with him. You dismissed his feelings for you. He’s a grown man who knows what he wants, and he’s been very clear about wanting you in his life and his future.

You were so scared of him breaking your heart that you broke his first. He wanted to live with you, and you broke his heart. Maybe after you come down from your PTSD/panic episode/attack, you’ll realize what your fear had you throw away.

He loved you and misses you and wants you back. I personally feel like you should make the first move since he did it last time. Now it’s your turn to ask for a second chance. Buck has already shown you how he feels (it wasn’t his best work at all, good lord, he approached it in the worst way). Now it’s your turn to chase him.

Tell him you’re falling in love with him, and you’re scared of finally having what you always wanted: a boyfriend and a family.

Also, couples’ counseling also exists. It seems like you need a mediator to help you two figure out what you want from each other.

Good luck and fight for your man!

Sincerely, I fucking hate Tim Minear and the writers for their awful absolutely shitty retconned writing in 8x06.

[writin-with-the-blues]

can you please write more of the blu medic x red mercs but the rest of red team finds out?? Like the red merc walks into base and the rest of the team is like "um hey what the HELL you have a crush on a BLU!?!?!?" (If you can't do this scenario for all the mercs can you do it for pyro, engineer, and scout please) thank you!!! Sorry If this request is alot.

Oh absolutely I can do this! Sorry if updates have been slow, finals has been killing me and this seemed the easiest to post. (I feel like I am always writing Pyro wrong LMAO).

OG Post Here

Right person, Wrong side

Pyro, Engineer, and Scout x Male!Blue Medic! Reader (Romantic)

Pyro:

They are probably the most interesting when it comes to you.

They tried to talk about you to the rest of the Mercenaries actually. However, since most of them can’t here them, they brush it off as utter nonsense. Except for one particular person.

Miss Pauling.

It was over a phone call, since pyro was in their room, they didn’t feel the need to put on a mask. It had to do with a contract killing you in particular and they rejected it. Miss Pauling inquired further about it, she was simply told, “Oh they didn’t tell you? I love him.”

“You can fall in love?”

Okay, ow, that hurt. But that one conversation with Miss Pauling somehow got spread around the entirety of Red Team. Though, it isn’t really a case of, ‘They are in love with blue team’ but a case of, ‘They can love?!’

Overall, it went alright. Though it did show how people felt about their cognitive abilities.

Engineer:

Ah yes, Dell, the man with more PHD’s than fingers of the Mercs have after a fight. He got caught because of an invention.

I am a firm believer that Dell’s love languages are Gift Giving and Acts of Service. He adores the moments when you just look so happy and excited, so keeping the stressful moments to a minimum with his inventions or hell just giving you a cup of coffee is something he thinks about a little too much.

So when he finds out that your medigun isn’t working as well as it should be, he immediately gets to solutions for you. It wasn’t like you asked though, since you didn’t even know something was wrong with your medigun in the first place but the nozzle doesn’t have the same range as it used to.

Though, his teams medic assumed it was for him until the very quick realization that it did absolutely nothing for his medigun. Which immediately was brought with accusations of being a spy and betraying the team.

To tell you it was ugly would be an understatement. To the point where his only defense is that he loved you. So he just simply said that. Did it resolve his issues with spy accusations? Yes. But it created a whole new problem.

Now there’s a bit of pressure from the rest of the team to just, ‘Snap out of it’ but he doesn’t. As much as he lies through his teeth, and as much as he tries to ignore it, he can’t. I mean, he’s a full grown man dammit, who cares?

Scout:

If you were to ask me how he even gotten himself in this situation, I’d say the many doodles he has of you.

He has a somewhat (very) crass way of expressing his feelings when using his sketchbook. Everything he feels about you just drawn out, kissing, hugging, other things a 20 year old with art abilities draws.

The first person to find these sketches of you is Spy. His first thoughts follow the beat of, ‘This is really good anatomy.’ To ‘Is that the enemy medic?’

Spy tried to use it as leverage against Scout. Once Scout realized what had happened, he almost immediately decided to tell every red merc on his own terms.

It’s the most Jeremy thing he could do, but I genuinely believe he’d do it. Though it goes as well as you expect it to. Which is not great.

To sum it up, there were so many argument over it. Whether it is justified or not, but most were in agreement that they knew they can’t change his feelings about you.

Masterlist

[kyuuppi]

HEAR ME OUT. Genshin Men as your ex, like what would they do during the healing process? Would they beg for you back, try to get you jealous, etc.

I LOVE UR WRITING AND FORMAT XX YOU'RE LITERALLY AMAZING.

Ft. Zhongli; Xiao; Tighnari; Scaramouche

⚠️tw: manipulation (Scaramouche); bad end/angst (Xiao; Zhongli)

Every cell in my body resisting the urge to make them yandere–

⭐ Zhongli

To be frank, Zhongli is no stranger to the end of relationships.

Having lived through several millennia, Zhongli has watched many friends, enemies, and lovers come and go. 

The moment he met you, he already knew you would someday be the same–such is the nature of mortality.

No matter how much he loved you, you would one day become yet another bittersweet memory–the type that makes his chest ache in the latest hours of the night while the rest of the harbor is sleeping.

Zhongli knew your departure from his life was inevitable…

But he didn’t expect to have to say goodbye so soon–let alone voluntarily.

“I love you, Zhongli. I really do but… we’re just too different. A former archon and a human just weren’t meant to be together. I’m sorry.”

Words he had never dreamed of fall from your lips easily. You had rehearsed it for a while.

He is internally distraught - his chest aches in a way he is not quite familiar with and, for once, he does not know what to say. 

He politely lets you leave - says that he understands and expresses his desire to remain amicable if you will allow it but will keep his distance if that is what you prefer.

He will always be available to share some advice over a cup of tea or osmanthus wine if you should ever need it. The unwritten contract between the of you – the favor and support of a former archon – is unconditional. 

You may find yourself shocked at how easily he lets you go –whether or not you are pleased by it depends on the nature of your true feelings.

Zhongli’s warm smiles and calming words will always remain, albeit now polite rather than intimate.

Outsiders who were unfamiliar with the nature of your previous relationship will not even notice the difference.

It is only a select few - Xiao, a few other adepti, and perhaps the funeral director – who see how the once smoldering embers in Zhongli’s steady gaze have been smothered.

It is only in the darkest hours of night, alone in his study, that Zhongli allows himself to wonder if his divinity is a blessing or a curse.

“It is unfortunate that our journey together must come to an end so soon. I have very much enjoyed our time together and appreciated the honor of witnessing your glory so closely. I will not burden you with my presence but… if you should ever need my assistance or desire my companionship, it is always yours.”

⭐ Xiao

Never in a thousand years would Xiao have imagined he would have someone to call his own.

After centuries of abuse–both inflicted upon him and from him - Xiao had sworn to never put himself in a position that vulnerable again. He will never let someone get close enough to hurt him or be hurt.

Nevertheless, you appeared in his life and shattered every expectation he had ever set.

Through sheer persistence, you smashed your way through his every wall and stole his heart as your own.

You had created an inseverable bond between you two…

...but now you wanted to sever it.

“I don’t think we can be together anymore, Xiao. You have a duty to protect Liyue and that is your top priority. You are tethered to this place. But I want to explore new places… and new people. I’m sorry, Xiao.”

His first reaction is anger, the type that flashed white hot in his gut and burns through his veins.

He did not seek you out – you were the one who forced your way into his life.

No matter how often he rejected you, how much he tried to avoid you, you had repeatedly interjected your way into his routine, bringing him plates of almond tofu and sharing stories of you adventure he had never asked about.

You created the habit for him. You made him expect your presence every day. You gave him new experiences and made him feel things he never knew possible. You made him love you in ways he had never imagined himself capable of–

–only to rip it all away. 

He should have known he was not good enough - he was always just a weapon, a tool, wasn’t he? It is only natural that you would use him too–and that he would one day become useless.

He leaves without a word.

For you, it is almost as if you had imagined his whole existence.

He no longer waits for you atop Wangshu Inn. You no longer feel the sense of someone watching–protecting–you while you take commissions around Liyue. 

 The only indication you have that you had not dreamt the whole thing is the occasional story random citizens, claiming to have been saved from a lawachurl by a ghost with yellow eyes.

You think Xiao has forgotten your entire existence. He disappears from your life so easily.

But to Xiao, it is not easy at all. 

His every thought is plagued by you to the point he wonders if you placed a curse upon him.

While the memory of you once eased his karmic debt, now it only seems to fuel it.

The voices taunt him, remind him of how worthless he is, even to his own lover.

You’re only a weapon of destruction – of course no one would want to be with you. You could never make anyone happy. You can only bring pain.

He suffers alone, brushing off the concern of the other adepti and even Zhongli when his karmic debt seems to get worse, his breakdowns more frequent and more intense than ever before/

It is only when you call his name - whether because you miss him or because you are in danger, than he will allow himself to see you again.

But even as he stands before you, he will not make eye contact.

Not because he does not want to see you but because he does not trust himself to act reasonably if he does.

“Even if the… nature of our relationship has changed, our bond still remains… what I mean is, if you are ever in danger, you should still call my name. I will always protect you...”

⭐ Tighnari

Um… this dude mates for life, how could you do this to him???

Similar to Xiao, he initially just gets kind of angry.

He told you how serious this is for him, how much relationships mean to fennec foxes.

He had asked you over and over again if you were sure before making your relationship official and you had assured him that you were. You said forever.

You had known each other for years before - you knew his personality and his habits. You knew being a forest watcher was his top priority and how long he spent on patrols - nothing has changed so why are your feelings changing?

“I’m sorry, Tighnari, I just… I don’t think I can live like this forever. Working in the forest together was a fun way to pass time but I don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to be with you anymore.“

He tries to talk it through - he wants to be logical and compromise with you. He asks you to set boundaries and be specific about your needs so that he has the chance to try to meet them - he will do anything to make this work, you just need to tell him what you need.

But you insist there’s nothing he can do, and without a proper explanation, you leave him behind.

It is easy to fall back into old routines and habits. Even if his lover is gone, the forest never rests.

He goes back to his patrols and reports and lectures – everything is the same as before yet it all feels completely wrong.

The days he used to look forward to – eagerly learning more about the forest he loved and sharing his findings with other curious minds – now feel like little more than a waste of time.

His passion is gone, the once burning desires now doused and his mind is only plagued with memories of you.

Quiet moments late at night in his tent are the worst. 

His bed feels uncharacteristically cold and empty without you in it. The calm night is much too quiet when your voice is not there to hum a tune you heard at the market.

“You’re being incredibly selfish right now – our relationship may be just a way to pass time for you but for me – it's all or nothing. There was no one before you and there will be no one after you. We made a commitment to each other and we need to stick it out. So tell me exactly what the problem is so we can work on it and fix it. Together. We have a whole lifetime to figure this out so don’t just give up on us so easily.”

⭐ Scaramouche

You have to be insane to leave this man - and not just ‘cause he is hot.

If you made it far enough for Scaramouche to let you into his heart, you already know his past. You know what has happened to him and how he feels about people leaving.

There is absolutely no way this will go well for either of you.

Once his heart is broken his immediate response is vengeance and retaliation.

If you think you are leaving him behind – betraying him like everyone else in his life – you have got another think coming.

“I’m serious, scaramouche. I don’t want this anymore. We’re just not meant for each other.”

“Ha– you think you have a choice? I must not have made myself clear – you are mine and you are not going anywhere without me.”

lol oops I made it yandere

While much less openly accommodating as Tighnari, Scaramouche is still willing to listen to your complaints and try to find a solution.

Although he’s possessive and a bit blinded by his own feelings, Scaramouche truly does love you and will do anything he can to make you happy–but only if you are happy with him.

If you physically leave, he will follow you. If you try to find someone else, he is not above getting rid of them. 

Once you enter a relationship with Scaramouch, for as long as the two of you are alive, you will be with each other.

“Do you finally understand? Good. Taking care of those mortal men you wanted to hang around with was starting to become tedious."

[ghostxrose]

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑮𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒔𝒕 | 𝑩𝒂𝒌𝒖𝒈𝒐 𝑲𝒂𝒕𝒔𝒖𝒌𝒊 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

The Ask/Inspo for this fic can be found in this post.

TRIGGER WARNING - !!SUICIDE!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE NOT IN A GOOD STATE OF MIND AND PLEASE REACH OUT TO SOMEBODY IF YOU NEED HELP! YOU ARE LOVED AND YOU DO MATTER!

Additional Tags ~ Fem!Reader, cheating, bad mental health, HEAVY ANGST, hurt no comfort, mentions of blood, Idk let me know if I should add other tags..

Part One | Part Two |

Being in love with and loving Katsuki hasn’t always been easy. He can be loud, brash, and uncaring of hurting one’s feelings. Sure, he’s matured over the few years it’s been since graduating from UA, but he’s still rough around the edges. Even so, his personality didn’t scare you away back then at UA, and it surely doesn’t now.

When you first met Katsuki, you were a Support Course student. You were in the top three for your class, and just as ambitious as Mei Hatsume. Though you were far more tame than the pink-haired girl, the two of you became very close friends. You were, and still are, the hidden crazy to Mei’s in-your-face crazy. Your friendship with her along with her oblivious, borderline ditzy way of going about things were the driving reasons behind you almost asking her to swap who you’d been assigned with from Hero Course 1-A.

As it had turned out, swapping wasn’t allowed, so you had been stuck with making and fixing support gear for UA’s most explosive student. There was a lot of clashing of personalities at the start of your partnership, but after proving yourself to him, he managed to tone his attitude down some. Not long after he had managed to get over himself, there were a lot of after-school costume discussions. As well as many times Katsuki just silently and intently watched you work on his gauntlets, observing and learning what he could fix himself. Naturally, after all that time spent together, you couldn’t help but fall for him at least a little bit.

Unfortunately, you never had the guts to say anything to him, plus you realized just how focused he was on being a hero. Then graduation came and you both went your separate ways, your previous partnership nothing more than a school assignment. That happened with nearly all of the other partnerships between the Hero Course and the Support Course. You were just sad that you hadn’t gotten to see Katsuki one last time, to wish him well or tell him you enjoyed working with him or something..

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

As the years went by after graduation, you worked your way through different levels of Support Gear Engineering with a decently known company. You weren’t surprised when Mei was able to get her own company up and running in that time. It also wasn’t a surprise when Mei asked you to come work for her. You agreed in a heartbeat and not long after, Mei signed a contract with DynaDeku Agency. Suddenly, you were seeing Katsuki almost every other day versus the rare night out that Mei would drag you to with Deku and his friends. But seeing him more only worsened your.. pining.

Conversations were always work-related, never anything more than talks of new gear or upgrades to current gear. It’s not like you never tried to push for a more casual conversation. But every ‘How’s your day going’ was met with a silent and questioning glare. You hid your feelings of hurt and rejection with warm smiles every time.

You kept your admiration to yourself. You cheered Katsuki on from the sidelines like you were nothing more than any of his other fans he’d never met. But you longed for him to see you as more than ‘that one support chick’ as he so eloquently referred to you as more often than not. You longed for him to see you. Instead, you watched as he took his sights off of his hero career for a moment just to look toward his fellow hero, Uravity.

In the short time that they were together, you had thought that they had made an odd couple. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you just felt like they weren’t very right for each other. The feeling wasn’t entirely from a place of jealousy, you’d honestly thought you maybe wouldn’t fit any better with him, despite your feelings for him. There was just something about them being together that hadn’t made a whole lot of sense to you.

You’d figured that they must have discovered what it was because just a few months after they announced their relationship to friends, they broke up. Neither of them was all that torn up about it, which you had found odd, at least when it came to Uraraka. The pink-cheeked woman hadn’t been the mess that you’d thought she’d be considering how borderline clingy she had been with Katsuki. Instead, whenever you saw her at nights out with everyone, she was smiling and bubbly like nothing ever happened.

You didn’t waste any real time picking apart either hers or Katsuki’s behaviors, though. It wasn’t any of your business, and quite frankly, you didn’t care about how Uraraka moved on with her life. In all honesty, a secret part of you was just happy to once again have the chance to try to put yourself on Katsuki’s radar. You had mustered up all of your courage and confidence to put yourself out there a little bit more. It felt like it had taken forever, but finally, your efforts were noticed. The day Katsuki asked you out to dinner was so surreal that you couldn’t believe that it wasn’t just a dream.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

It’s been a little over seven months since that first date. At the start of your relationship, things were a bit awkward but fun and quite surprising. You were secretly shocked to find out just how sweet Katsuki can be in his own way. You’d learned that he speaks through actions, and not so much through words. You’d learned that behind closed doors, he’s calm and gentle and caring.

Those first few months were full of enough sappy moments to make even Cupid sick to his stomach. There were nights of home-cooked meals made by Katsuki’s very talented hands. Rare coinciding days off from work were spent watching movies and cuddling. Passionate moments of heated kisses and love-making. It used to make your head spin just how loving Katsuki could be. But every couple moves out of the honeymoon phase and learns something more about each other.

What’s the thing you’ve learned within the last three months? Katsuki Bakugo is a fucking liar.

That warm, loving, cared-for feeling that used to spread through your chest has grown cold. You’ve gotten good at faking it though, plastering a loving smile on your face when you’re with him. Feigning that warm tone whenever you tell him that you love him. It’s not that you don’t, not that you’ve stopped loving him.. It’s just gotten hard to say those three stupid words since that first lie slid so easily off of his tongue.

You suppose that you could say that you’ve also learned that with all of his smarts, Katsuki is fucking stupid. It seems that in the years since being partners at UA, your loving boyfriend has forgotten what your Quirk is and what it does.. Because you can’t imagine that he would be doing what he’s doing with that kind of knowledge at the forefront of his brain.

Your Quirk is called Polygraph. Whenever somebody lies to you, your Quirk will automatically activate, resulting in a spike in your heart rate. It’s the kind of Quirk you know would have been useful in police work, but you’ve always had a love for inventing things. Your Uncle Naomasa still tries to get you to switch careers, despite the name you’ve made for yourself in the Support Engineering world.

One would think that with Katsuki having to work with the police, mainly Detective Naomasa Tsukauchi, that he would remember a detail such as your Quirk. Or how about the fact that most boyfriends remember their girlfriend’s fucking Quirk, flashy or not?? But with every lie that comes out of his mouth about where he’s going or who he’s hanging out with or who is fucking texting him, it’s painfully apparent that he doesn’t. He just speaks and you have to ignore the spike in your heart rate and paint on an oblivious smile.

𖤛 𖤛 𖤛

You feel almost numb when Katsuki kisses you goodbye. He tells you that he’ll have to stay late at the office to do some paperwork and your heart rate spikes at the lie. You fake a pout as you nod, and he sends you a smirk.

“Promise to make it up to you, so wipe that sexy lil pout off your face. C’mere,” he says, making your stomach churn unpleasantly, before pulling you into a hug.

“Be safe out there,” you murmur against him, and you mean it despite knowing that he isn’t being truthful about staying out late.

“Always am, Sweetheart. Enjoy your day off, ‘kay? Love you.” He murmurs back before kissing your forehead, and you bite back nausea as you tell him you love him. As you watch him leave, you ask yourself for the billionth time how isn’t he lying about loving you when he’s doing something that would make it so obvious that he doesn’t even care about you.

You wait your usual 30 minutes to an hour after he leaves, making sure that he doesn’t come back because he forgot something, before grabbing your laptop. You sit back down on the couch with the device in your lap and numbly navigate to the locked file you have hidden away. You click on it, enter the password, and then pull up the contents of the file. You stare at the hundreds of screenshots you’ve collected over the last three months of conversations and photos, nearly emotionless. After a couple of moments, when you start to feel the sting of tears welling up in your eyes, you open your web browser. You sign into the secret email you created when you first started gathering evidence of Katsuki’s infidelity. Once you’ve signed in, you make quick work of adding the most recent screenshots you’ve gotten to the file.

The heartbreaking shock of discovering that it’s Uraraka that Katsuki has been seeing behind your back has long since worn off. The whole damn situation has just become some sick kind of surreal. You’ve repeated her name so much in your mind that it doesn’t even seem like a real name anymore. You’ve read so many dirty messages between the two of them that the rage has turned to cold numbness. You’ve seen both of their nudes so many times by now that Uraraka’s bare body doesn’t bring up the repulsion you once felt. It all just makes you feel so far past hurt that all you can truly feel is numb.

You watch as the screenshots load into the file, your eyes blankly scanning over words until your gaze catches. You stare at a specific message you hadn’t noticed when you’d gone through Katsuki’s phone to collect more evidence. A single line standing out from the rest of Uraraka’s messages to your boyfriend;

“I still love you, Kats..”

That single line throws you over the edge you were teetering on. You practically throw your laptop onto the couch cushions as you rush to get up. You barely make it to the bathroom, crashing to your knees in front of the toilet as you vomit. Tears stream down your face as your body tries to expel everything inside of you. Your nose runs as your throat burns, and you dry heave a few times as sobs rip from your chest. You wipe your mouth and nose with toilet paper, then shift to sit against the bathtub. Loud, painful, and anguished sobs echo off of the bathroom walls. You don’t even know what Katsuki had said in response to her confession, but you don’t need to know. The fact that he’s still sneaking off to sleep with her is telling enough. Stomach acid burns at your throat again as the message flashes behind your tightly screwed eyelids, and you heave into the toilet once more.

When you finally feel like there’s nothing more for your stomach to expel, you wipe your face. The tears and sobs continue relentlessly as you stand, flush the toilet, then make your way to the sink. You rinse your mouth out, the minty mouthwash burning more than usual before you spit it out. As you straighten back up, wiping your mouth on the hand towel, you lock eyes with your disheveled reflection. Suddenly, you’re seeing red as all of your rage floods your mind and body. A scream tears from your throat as your fist flies into the mirror, shattering it. Your mind clears a bit as you stare down at the shattered glass. Your now bleeding hand looks like it should hurt, but you don’t feel the split knuckles or cuts from the glass. All you can feel is the emotional turmoil that’s consumed your very being.

You make your way back to the living room, leaving the mess of glass and blood in the sink. You stumble the whole way back to the couch, tripping over your feet and your knees giving out from how hard you’re sobbing. You practically fall onto the couch, grabbing your phone off of the coffee table, uncaring of the blood you’re getting on the device. With shaking hands, you unlock your phone, navigating through your contacts while half-blind from tears. You hit the call icon as soon as you reach the contact you’ve been searching for.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease-” You mutter, you pray, between sobs as the line rings.

“Too busy with my babies! Leave a message I may or may not listen to!” Mei’s voicemail message chirps brightly into your ear, and a whining sob leaves your throat as the beep rings out and cues you to leave a message.

“I-I Lo-love y-you, M-Mei.. P-pl-please, al-ways re-remember th-that..” You stutter and sob out before hanging up and burying your face in your hands.

After a few moments of soaking your hands in tears, you bring your head up. With closed eyes, you roll your shoulders back, wipe your hands on your pants, and try to take deep and even breaths. Only once you’ve regained some sense of calm and control over yourself, do you open your eyes. You let your mind sink back into that comfortable numb you’ve grown acquainted with over time. You stand up from the couch and almost robotically, you head for the storage closet. It takes a bit of digging through boxes, but you finally find them.. Letters to your closest family members and friends.

The letters are abandoned products of your deepest, darkest secret. You have been struggling for years now. To everyone around you, even your parents, you’re kind and happy and kind of shy and stable.. But the you in the mirror knows about every single self-deprecating, withering, hatred-filled thought. Something in your mind is broken, always had been, but it never needed to be anyone else’s problem. You are the only one who has ever needed to worry about the fact that you’ve had one foot hanging off of the edge. Besides, you’re the only one who can keep yourself from giving in to the call of an unseen dark abyss, its voice warm and holding promises of relief.

You carefully lay the letters out on the kitchen table. You grab your laptop from the couch and place it neatly on the table. You pause for a moment and look down at yourself. You make your way to the bedroom and change into your favorite outfit because fuck that if you were going to die in your damn pajamas.

You make your way back to the table and unconsciously go through the steps of sending the file of evidence you’ve collected to Katsuki and Uraraka. You contemplate sending the file to your shared friends for one spite-filled moment, but ultimately decide against it. You set your laptop settings to stay on and unlocked, plug the charger into it, and pull up the note that has passwords to all of your various accounts. Who knows what people might need when you’re gone?

With one last painful glance around the apartment, you head for the door. You slip on your favorite pair of shoes and leave the apartment. You make your way to the roof of the complex, which is a far easier task than you feel like it should have been. You walk to the edge and take off your shoes, placing them neatly off to the side. Climbing up onto the ledge, the wind blows lightly and it actually feels exhilarating as you fully stand up. You startle when your phone begins ringing, and you can’t recall when you slipped it into your pocket. Taking it out, a small bout of manic laughter leaves your lips at the caller ID. When you slide the accept icon, a streak of blood follows. Apparently, your hand hasn’t stopped bleeding and that makes you laugh harder for some reason.

“Hey Love, what’s-” You begin deliriously before being cut off.

“What’s with this email, Sweetheart? H-how did you..” Katsuki with an uncharacteristic quietness to his voice, with feigned confusion to cover the guilt.

Every emotion drains from you in an instant and your grip on your phone tightens, “Don’t play dumb, Katsuki. Everything in that email came directly from your phone.” You say in a tone so cold and emotionless that it makes Katsuki take in a sharp breath, and at the sound, you feel a dulled flicker of pride at catching him off guard.

“Baby-” he starts with a slight shake in his voice, but all the pet name does is make you see red all over again.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU CALL HER THAT TOO!” You scream, and your voice echoes off of the structures around you.

A strangled sort of half laugh, half sob leaves your mouth, and you screw your eyes shut, “Oh my, sorry for yelling.. Uhm, you asked ‘how’ earlier, and I assume you meant to ask fully how I found out. Well, I’ve known that you’ve been seeing her since that first lie you told months ago. It’s sort of crazy to think that for as long as we’ve known each other, you’ve seemed to have forgotten what my Quirk is, Love.” From even-toned to words bathed in malice, your rage and pain-fueled instability makes even you dizzy.

“..Y/N, please.. I.. I love you..” Katsuki says, and your manic laughter returns from how pathetic he sounds.

“It still baffles me that somehow that isn’t a fucking lie, too! You wanna know something, Katsuki? For years, I admired and adored you. For years, I waited for you to want me too! Then, when you finally did want me, I gave you all of my love! I made it all look fucking painless! The unappreciation! The wanting of someone who couldn’t even be bothered to remember my fucking name most of the time! The suffering through my darkest thoughts! Life has put me through so much shit, but fuck it if I wasn’t the fucking greatest!!” You’re breathless by the end of your spiel, more manic laughter mixing with your anguished sobs. The sound of a car honking below you makes you jolt, and you choke on a sharp gasp as your balance goes off-kilter for a moment.

“Y/N, where the fuck are you right now?! I’m on my way home, just-” Katsuki rushes out, and you become conscious of the sound of his car engine revving in the background of the call.

“Tell everyone that I’m sorry and that I love them. I love you, Katsuki Bakugo. Goodbye.” You say with an eerie and quiet calm, and as you bring the phone down from your ear you can hear him screaming until you hang up.

You turn slightly to drop your phone onto your shoes, then turn back to look out over the city. ‘Such a beautiful view..’ You think with a small smile as you let your body tip forward. You close your eyes as you fall, the sound of air rushing past you thundering in your ears. It feels like you’re falling for seconds and decades before everything goes black.

You feel nothing..

No more pain..

No more suffering..

Just the soothing warmth of the black abyss that’s been calling your name for so long.

Note ~ Thank you to the Lovely Anon who sent in the ask, I'm sorry that I got so dark with this one.. Please make sure that you're taking care of yourselves, Lovelies. And if you feel like no one else does, just know that I love and appreciate you. <3

Divider Credit ~ @anitalenia

[lonelyharmonies]

[9:42 pm]

chenle x gn reader genre: fluff; friends to lovers wc: 719

"i envy them," you say, munching some popcorn, your eyes still focused on the TV across the room. "i said," you repeat, this time clearing your throat, "i envy them."

now you take the time to look away from the movie and let your eyes land on the boy next to you, although you couldn't really consider him a boy anymore. his youthful spirit and boyish smile were still there, but the chenle sitting next to you was everything but a boy now.

"i heard you the first time," he grabbed some popcorn from your bowl without tearing his eyes away from the TV.

"why didn't you interact with my comment, then?" you press him, already knowing he was starting to get annoyed.

"because i'm trying to watch this goddamn movie you chose."

you smile at him. the lights of his living room were turned off, but you were close enough to still see his side profile. his so, so beautiful side profile with his sharp jaw almost made you forget the cheeky 14 year-old chenle that you met so many years ago.

"you should have asked me who."

you hear a heavy sigh leaving his lips "who what?"

"i envy."

"what the f- you know what, i give up," he fumbles, trying to find the TV remote.

"don't turn it off!!" you try to stop him "i don't want to watch another basketball game"

"you weren't even watching the damn movie, let me at least see the game."

"chenle!!!! stop ignoring me!!!!" you whine, and he turns to you with a bored look on his face.

"you're worse than jisung, seriously. you drive me mad sometimes."

you smile at him and take the remote from his hand.

"ask me who i envy."

he rolls his eyes and says in the most uninterested tone possible "who do you envy?"

"those characters," you point at the frozen scene on the TV. you convinced him to watch a rom com where long-time friends become lovers. "now, ask me why."

"why?" he is already turning his body to face the TV again when you blurt out the secret you have kept since his 16th birthday party.

"because they were brave enough to confess their feelings."

chenle raises an eyebrow and turns his head to you. "do you like someone?" you nod slowly and his eyes widened "do you have a crush? who is it?" he shifts, closing the distance between both of you. "tell me and i'll help you confess."

"i don't think he likes me, though."

"what makes you think that?" his eyes are scanning your face, trying to read what you haven't said.

"i found out i liked you on your sixteenth birthday. i know we promised never to keep things from each other, i just never had the courage to tell you this one. i'm sorry." you close your eyes and feel a weight fall off your shoulder. "i'm not expecting anything from you. i promise i won't be hurt if you reject me, it's just that i've been keeping this from so long and-"

"can i kiss you?" it's when you feel his hands cupping your face that you open your eyes to find chenle's face impossibly close to yours. "i asked if i can kiss you."

"i heard you the first time," you let out a sad chuckle. "please, don't do this to me, lele." you whisper, and he leaves a soft kiss on your right cheek. "why aren't you rejecting me?"

"because i'll never reject you," this time, he kisses your left cheek "i have done and i always will do anything for you" he kisses your temple and goes to your jaw right after "whatever you want, it's yours." and then, looking you in the eyes, he says what you have never expected. "i'm yours."

you barely have time to process his confession as your body moves on its own to close the distance and kiss the boy that has always been everything you ever wanted.

later that day, laying on his chest while watching the highlights of the basketball game he missed, you realize how foolish you were. how could you not see it? all these years of yearning, waiting, fearing rejection when, in fact, chenle has been just as in love with you.

[bostrichidae]

screaming without the v.

so. guess who just watched my adventures with superman season 2.

AUUUUUUGUAUGHHGH (/POS????? I THINK??????)

SPOILERS BELOW CUT

i love kara. i love the way her character was handled, i love her realistic mix of naivety and maturity beyond her years. i'll talk a bit more about her later.

the representation of krypton is beautiful. from kara's point of view, she sees the kryptonian empire as this utopian place where all was well in the world, but clark knows better. he's seen the truth of krypton from a mostly unbiased perspective, and could probably make the connections between krypton and similar empires on earth. he understands that the beauty of a so-called perfect world comes at a devastating price. of course kara didn't know about the destroyed planets due to her brainwashing, but even after she found out she denied it because krypton is perfect, because why would the planets have to get destroyed in the first place? why wouldn't they want to become part of this perfect world?

and clark. aurgh, clark. i stand by my belief that this is the best characterization of superman. his fear of hurting others, his fear of being a weapon, his constant fighting to protect the world from devastation and to unite all peoples within our nation even if the powers of that world reject him for existing. and when he became his worst fear, when his body became a weapon turned against earth, he still fought. he fought to protect his family, his friends, his home. he fought against himself, his origins, and everything he was supposed to be. by breaking free of brainiac's control, both kara and clark claimed their own identities. they separated themselves from their predecessors and ancestors, allowing the kryptonian empire to truly fall without the pillars of the next generation holding it up. i have so many fucking thoughts about the generational trauma of krypton but i won't get into that right now.

now back to kara and her relationship with brainiac. she was a sheltered, manipulated child, and her situation absolutely reeks of stockholm syndrome. she's aware that brainiac isn't her biological father, but he raised her. he saved her from that escape pod, she taught him to be strong. every time he called her weak, beat her, scolded her over small mistakes, he was only helping her get stronger! her father was never wrong, when he called her weak it's because it was true and he wanted to help her be a warrior!

right?

clark is an outside influence, a foreign entity, an unpredictable variable getting in the way of their relationship and helping her to open her eyes. but after everything, after brainiac is revealed to be the kryptonians' murderer, she still despairs when he dies. she feels sorrow for the man who nearly killed her cousin, who wiped out her people, who brainwashed her into acts of genocide. who raised her, who cherished her as a daughter, who shaped her into the warrior she is today. i think it will be fascinating to see how she copes with brainiac's death and her different environment in season 3, especially because we saw she kept part of her father abuser with her. she's a wonderful character they could never make me hate you kara from my adventures with superman. i think rät by penelope scott really works well for her and her life with brainiac, give it a listen if you haven't before.

other stuff i really liked about this season:

lois and sam, how their past together is revealed as their future together constantly shifts trajectories. two lanes diverged, amiright fellas... hahah... yeah. i love how lois still carries her father's lessons with her, even after everything he did. how yes, he was a shitty father, but he truly did care about keeping her safe. that he's a flawed character with problems of his own- and she acknowledges that, and recognizes why he does what he does. but still doesn't forgive him. this show is SO FUCKING GOOD at complicated relationships i swear

livewire and heatwave power couple? fuck yeah. monsieur mallah and the brain returning? hell yes. STEEL??? HELL FUCKING YES.

silas stone cameo and somewhat important role in the first half of the season, hopefully we'll see more of him soon... (hopefully we see victor. im a little bit not normal about victor stone. in a non simp way.)

kara and james is so cute... love me some healthy straight ships in my silly show about a himbo and his emotional support goblins. clois and jara double date RIGHT THIS INSTANT I DEMAND OF YOU

the alternate world where clark was raised on krypton... i kind of want to see more of that. like a short episode released independent from the storyline showing a bit more of kryptonian culture and what it would've been like to grow up there. i just think it'd be really neat

lex. calm down buddy. ur like 12. you don't need to go bald yet. sees season 3 first images LEX. PUT THE WEAVE BACK ON THIS INSTANT.

speaking of season 3... KON EL!!! HE'S ARRIVED!!! i'm actually tweaking out rn i need season 3 to be released. i need to know!!! fanfiction will only indulge my fantasies for so long.

clark and kara doing spiderman kisses with lois and jimmy thank you for coming to my ted talk.

cat grant is such a theater kid... she definitely played patty in a production of grease at some point.

if you've made it all the way to here then thank you for reading my essay(?) on why maws s2 is peak superhero media. and thanks for listening to me as i scream without the v anyways go watch this wonderful show

[roosteraloha]

hiraeth

Bradley Bradshaw × Reader

wc - approx 2k

warnings - none!! a highly self indulgent fic, mainly fluff with a little angst thrown in.

disclaimer - ANY BLANK/AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED!! I also DO NOT give permission for any of my works to be copied, shared, compiled, translated or posted onto other sites!!

comments & reblogs are greatly appreciated!!

It was a common occurrence for you to fall into a deep slumber whenever you got into bed during the past few months. Work was hectic in the run up to christmas. People were just rude - coworkers and clients alike. This isn't how you imagined this would be how you'd be spending your time, you'd worked tirelessly at college in hopes of landing your dream job, but after several months of endless rejections and failed interviews, you'd managed to land a dead-end job.

At first you were ecstatic, but that initial joy was short-lived.

Your co-workers weren't welcoming to a newcomer, especially so close to the crazed holiday period, and the clients and customers, they just piled on their distaste for things out of your control, as if you had made all of the 'stupid and pointless' company policies. Realistically, it wouldn't have been such a tough adjustment if you had your boyfriend home with you, but life had seemed to be against your happiness this year.

Your loving boyfriend of the past two years was a naval aviator, and earlier in the year, he and his squadron were sent on a new deployment. What started out as a short 3 month deployment, was extended to a six month one. That was followed by another extended deployment. You didn't even get to see Bradley or any squadron members before they left again. They had missed you submitting your final college assignments, you receiving your final grades, they missed all the highlights of your senior year that you were so eagerly anticipating to share with them - Bradley especially. But what hurt the most is that they missed your graduation. Initially, you weren't even going to attend the ceremony, but at the insistence of the dagger squad, you'd planned out your outfit, booked tickets for everyone, to then be faced with no one to celebrate with when it rolled around, and a feeling of disappointment and frustration weighing heavily on your heart. You spent the day drowning your sorrows at the Hard Deck, Penny having taken pity on you, and kept your glass full on the house. You couldn't have cared less, despite how much you viewed Penny as a mother figure in your life.

The one person you wanted, needed, to be here, was somewhere in the middle of the ocean, unreachable.

It had been a major conversation point early on in your relationship with Bradley. Deployments were inevitable, especially if your relationship was going to last. The inconsistent contact would be more frustrating than knowing you are facing radio silence, whether voluntary or mandatory, despite Bradley's insistence you'd regret it once he was deployed. That is what you had naively said when Bradley got his first deployment papers a short six months into your relationship. Those initial six weeks flew by, spending it bonding with the rest of the dagger squad, soon being adopted into their tight knit dynamic. More so, Natasha and Javy dragging you out of your shared home with Bradley every few days, ensuring you ate and looked after yourself - on clear and strict instructions from Bradley.

Having no one this time around? Well, that was worse than you could ever imagined and you now understood why Bradley had been so insistent to talk this over extensively before he left, and why he insisted you'd crave what little contact you could get. Now, it seemed all too easy to give up and leave, like many military partners had done before. But you couldn't do that to Bradley - especially not in the middle of an extended deployment.

At the end of another emotionally and physically demanding shift, you'd decided to skip the tedious task of dinner, and just curl up in your bed, the emptiness you felt, pathetically you had tried to fill with several fluffy blankets, you knew deep down that you only bought more to end up snuggling with Bradley at the end of a long day. The mere thought of how he would teasingly complain at your evergrowing blanket collection was enough to send you sobbing into his pillow. His cologne had long since faded, and the little he had left behind on the dresser had been finished a few months earlier when you had initially kept spraying his pillow and the one hoodie he would always let you steal. He'd often leave it out for you on your bad days, and it was fair to say, you had been wearing it 75% of time he had been gone.

Your eyes and throat burned with overwhelming sadness, your heart ached in a way you never thought possible. This is how you'd imagined it would feel to die from a broken heart, a pain once so incomprehensible you were skeptical of its existence, now was your day to day life - and you still had Bradley in your life, you just hadn't seen him in nine months.

Tonight was far from the first night you'd spent crying yourself to sleep. Winter had just made it so much easier to cry your heart out and harder to drag yourself out of bed in the morning. Where you had once been met with a fresh breakfast shared with Bradley, you now faced an empty and cold house.

The cold wasn't just from the changing seasons, you were barely living - wake up, work, home, sleep and repeat. The once homely feel to your home, had faded the longer he was away.

The incessant beeping of your alarm was your nemesis, groaning you screwed your eyes shut, the tear tracks on your cheeks causing an unpleasant tightness as you yawned. You rolled over to face Bradley's side of the bed, a content smile on your face as you snuggled towards the warmth emitting from next to you. Immediately you froze, your body tense and eyes still screwed shut in fear of who was in your bed, thoughts racing.

Did you forget to lock the doors? What about the window Bradley was insistent you double check due to its temperamental lock? Maybe it was Penny who left you with an extra hot water bottle in case you got cold like she often did? No, this was too warm.

It wouldn't have been the first time you had blacked out and phoned her in the midst of a sob session, desperate for someone who understood your pain, and she would then spend the next sat next to you, ensuring you did actually manage to look after yourself, and not let yourself waste away from your bed.

Furrowing your brows, you took a deep breath and-

Your body reacted faster than your mind could comprehend and catch up. That once faded scent was stronger, almost overwhelming.

Bradley.

Your eyes shot open to be met with his honey brown eyes sparkling in the early winter sun, that streamed through your blinds. You blinked once, twice and when he didn't disappear and actually spoke, you choke on a hoarse sob.

He was home.

You launched yourself on him, wrapping your arms tightly around his neck, in fear he'd disappear if you didn't hold him tight enough.

His rough and deep morning voice was your favourite and that being the first you heard from him after the exhausting last nine months, was the cherry on top of the most perfect wake up call you could have dreamt of, "Morning babygirl."

When your voice failed you and you sobbed into his bare chest, he rubbed his hand gently up and down your spine, with the exact pressure he knew you craved, to ground you back in the present.

You had often dreamt of a similar situation in the months he had been away, but it always ended with you waking with a start, hope blooming in your chest, only to find your house as empty as it was when you fell asleep.

You were aware that Bradley was talking lowly to you, you could feel the vibration of his voice through your tight embrace. You'd missed the sensation of feeling his rumbling voice while holding him. It was such a small, almost trivial thing to miss, but to you it was everything, something that you swore to never take for granted again.

He nudged you gently, kissing the top of your head once again, trying to prise your head away from its place tucked tightly against his neck. you whined softly, hating to any physical space between your bodies. "Good wake up call?" His teasing tone brought a watery smile to your face. You nodded, managing to press a soft kiss to his lips, "| love you." He reciprocated, "I love you too," running his hand through your hair, helping to further ground you.

A second wave of tears welled in your eyes upon hearing your second alarm, work was beckoning, threatening to burst this joyful bubble you were in. Bradley stretched, sitting up and bringing you up with him. You whimpered, heartbreaking at the thought of having to leave him so soon, "Please...Can't we just stay here a bit longer? I just got you back…"

Bradley's heart broke hearing the utter sadness in your voice, he nodded slowly with a small smile on his face, rubbing his hands down your spine again. "I called you in sick to work already, we just need you to get some breakfast." And as if proving his point, your stomach grumbles lowly.

Nodding along, you shifted away from him to sit up fully.

It was okay. He called you in sick. Wait-

"You knew."

There was nothing else needed. His face full of guilt said it all.

Now, your tone is short and seeping with hurt. "You got home yesterday. You've obviously been to the Hard Deck to see Penny to even know I'd got a job. You've been home almost an entire day, you all have-" Tears spill down your cheeks rapidly, "And you- you never thought I'd want to welcome you back home...”

Your voice trailing off now that the initial anger was over, and now you were left feeling truly hurt.

Bradley was quick to scramble back to your side, realising his mistake. He cupped your cheeks gently in a desperate attempt to gain your full attention, despite your best efforts to pull away, no long craving the comfort his touch and presence provided.

"Hey, hey, hey, baby- l'm so sorry, I just wanted to surprise you.” His brows were furrowed in concern, eyes full of sincere regret. When you eventually stopped fighting his hold so much, he pulled you back onto his lap, still cradling your face between his large, callused hands. "I never, never meant to hurt you. You know that.”

When you didn't reply, instead screwing your eyes shut as more tears ran down your cheeks, Bradley swiped his thumbs under your eyes, wiping them away as quickly as they fell.

Shakily, you exhale sharply and peel your eyes open to meet the epitome of puppy dog eyes in Bradley.

"I am so so sorry." Tears of his own we're now glistening in his eyes. "Phoenix said you'd hate me for this plan- I should've listened. God, I hate I made you this upset." Sniffling, you shift closer, nuzzling your face into his neck, Bradley pressing a soft kiss to your head in response.

"Please don't leave me."

"I’m not going anywhere."

[maochira]

imagine reader being good friends with sae, then slowly the reader starts falling for rin. they're a little slow to realize their crush at first but when they finally notice, they're like "oh shet" and doesnt know how to tell both of them.

Do I... see the oppurtunity for a little angst right here?👀

Requests open! - masterlist

Tags: gn!reader, reader is Sae's best friend, a bit of angst :]

-you're a year younger than Sae, but you grew up in the same neighbourhood so you've always been best friends

-you never cared much about Rin and never talked much to him either

-while Sae went to Spain, Rin only crossed your path every now and then and you had short conversations with him

-those short conversations turned longer each time. Even after ...the whole thing happens, you talk to him whenever you meet somewhere (mostly on the bus after school)

-you only start realizing you have a crush on Rin while he's in Blue Lock. You miss him so much, even though you only talked occasionally. But even this little bit not happening anymore makes your heart ache whenever you think about it

-during this time, Sae is at home so you get to see him a lot again!!

-of course you're happy to see your best friend again, but your mind keeps yelling at you to tell him about your crush on Rin

-but you know what's going on between them, so it doesn't feel right. Also, you're afraid it will bother Sae or even destroy the friendship

-but still, you're thinking about confessing your feelings to Rin as soon as you get to see him again. Keeping everything in just builds up more pressure in you

-and honestly, you were very close to telling Sae about it many times. You just backed out of it each time because your anxiety got too big

-whenever you think about how you'll confess to Rin, all the scenarios your brain comes up with are how Rin rejects you. It makes your heart hurt even more but there's no one you can talk about it with, so you just keep it inside

-that makes you a bit emotionally absent around Sae, and he definitely notices that. He's asked you to tell him what's wrong many times, but you always say you're just tired

Taglist (sign-up link): @astruosie @zyuuuu @gojosorrygeto @luvcalico @truegoist @kalinkavx @weichspuelertrinker @acacIa @kermitslefteyeball11 @futuristicxie @bluelock4life @blueberrryui @keiidaydreams @sagejin @https-archangel @ririgards @depressed-bitchy-demon @kaiserkisser @yerinsshi @rienniey @vanitasbrainrot

[emeritus-fuckers]

First off I apologize if I frequent the confessional (aka the inbox) too often. 😔 pretty new to ghost and I love your writing! Secondly, I saw you wanted fluff requests and I have one that’s not exactly fluff, it’s more hurt/comfort, but it is NOT HORNY (for once). Also since this is such a sensitive and personal topic I 100% understand if you need to refuse it!

-mental health and self harm warning-

How would Papas (or Terzo specifically if you’re short in time but still want to do the prompt) react to and comfort their s/o who feels guilty/ashamed after a mental health relapse? Feel free to keep the specific event vague for your and others’ comfort :) (I recently self harmed and have found a lot of comfort in thinking about my Papa telling me he’s still proud of me and that I’m getting better, still recovering, etc.)

Once again, this is a very difficult topic for many people so I completely understand if this is outside of your comfort zone. (If it is a reject, I would greatly appreciate it if you could reply privately.)Write what you love and have a wonderful day! ❤️

While I usually respond to asks with a little comment, I've already said everything in the dms. For everyone else, though, a reminder: this is a comfort zone for you. If there is anything going on, please don't hesitate message my main if you want to talk about it. I'm here for you. - Jez

Papas self-harm comfort

TW: mentions of self-harm, poor mental health.

Primo

He notices right away. Or maybe he just knows. It's unclear.

He takes you to the garden, knowing that it was a comfort space for you both.

Talks to you about flowers, but you can tell there's something more he's getting to. So you wait, listening to how fondly he would speak about the plants.

"Do you like roses, amore? I find them particularly loveable, even despite their thorns. Over the years, I've hurt myself on them many times, but I can't bring myself to hate them. After all, they're just trying to defend themselves this way, since they don't know that I also protect them."

Something about this little speech made you realize that he knew what you did. And just like that, it all hit you hard enough to make you fall to your knees and start crying, mumbling how sorry you were.

He would carefully help you up and take you to the nearest bench and sits there with you, holding you and rubbing soothing circles onto your back.

"I know it's difficult, my love. I know. But I'm here with you now. I won't hate you or leave you because you're hurting. You just couldn't handle it anymore, could you?"

His voice is so soft and you can hear he's sad, beating himself up over not noticing it earlier, before you relapsed.

"But it's going to get better now. I'm here to protect you. I'll help you get through this."

Secondo

He's always been very direct, which might be why so many people in the Ministry considered him a prick.

The moment he notices just how often you pull your sleeves down is the moment he calls you over to go talk in his room.

He asks to see your arms. And your terrified eyes tell him everything. You've relapsed.

He seemed angry, clenching his fists. And that scared you even more, you almost ran away, but he caught you and pulled to you his chest.

He held you so tight, he almost knocked the air out of your lungs.

And that's when you realize, he's not mad at you. He's mad at himself. He's mad that he let that happen.

And so you both just hold onto each other for a while before he picks you up and carries you to bed. He tucks you in and goes to make dinner for you.

He just kinda goes into house husband mode?

He tries his best to make you feel safe and loved.

He trusts you to talk to him when you're ready. And until then, he's practically glued to you.

Terzo

He knew something was wrong when you didn't return his affection with your regular enthusiasm. At first he thought maybe you were just in a bad mood, but he kept observing you just in case.

After a while he pulled you aside, taking you to his room to talk. He sat on the bed with you, pulling you close and wrapping his arms around you.

"Wanna tell me what's going on?" He would ask quietly, resting his cheek on top of your head as you curled up to cuddle to him some more.

He could tell you were hesitant, but he wanted to make sure you were comfortable before you spoke. So he just held you and rocked you, kissing the top of your head and humming a soft tune to you.

When you finally opened up, telling him that you've relapsed and started hurting yourself again, he holds you tighter and stays quiet for a while.

After a few minutes, he'd ask if you'd be comfortable to show him where you did it. If you did, he would kiss around your scars, the old and fresh ones, his lips incredibly gentle against your skin.

He lets you cry it out, holding you against his chest.

He wants you to feel safe with him. To know that you can always come to him and talk.

Copia

When you tell him one evening that you need to have a serious conversation with him, he can already tell it's gonna be bad. Although his assumption was that you wanted to break up with him.

But, as it turned out, it was way, way worse.

You already confided in him that you used to hurt yourself, but he never thought you'd relapse!

He's very sad, but tries his best not to show it and just holds you for a while.

He would try and gently ask you for the reason. Did he fail to see the signs? Oh, he did, didn't he?

He's upset with himself that he couldn't prevent it.

Quietly begs you to come to him whenever you have thoughts about hurting yourself again, no matter what he's doing.

Offers to get you a nice therapist.

Tries to make you happier however he can. Dedicates all his free time to you.

Plays video games with you, lets you play with his rats, he's by your side whenever possible.

He really hopes that's at least close to being enough.

Old Nihil

He's incredibly confused when he found out.

This man does not see a single flaw in you, he views you as above perfection.

And for whatever reason, you harmed yourself???

It does not make sense to him. He demands to have you called to his bedroom so he can question you.

He's even more shocked as you break down, crying and apologizing.

"Hey, hey now, stop crying, okay?"

He's just... So awkward as he pats your shoulder and assures you that he loves you, he just really has no clue why you'd want to do that!

He wants you to explain everything to him just so he can tell you you're wrong and interrupting you with his own views of him.

He tries, okay?

Young Nihil

This fucking dumbass...

His first reaction is literally "Why the fuck would you do that?!"

He's in shock and it's basically a defensive reaction.

He doesn't understand why you'd do something so stupid???

He might yell at you at first and only realize after a moment that he's making it worse.

So he apologizes, still a bit grumpy about it, but he holds you close.

"Listen, just... Just don't do that. Okay? I don't wanna lose ya."

He might actually tear up about it once you're asleep. His life was filled with fuck-ups and he'd hate it if he'd lose you.

He's gonna pay more attention to you from now on.

And he's gonna do his best to take care of you.

He's an idiot and he lets him emotions get the better of him, but he really does love you. He' just bad at showing it. Really bad.

[gunilslaugh]

Just So You Know

Kim Jungsu

Summary: Your confession to Jungsu left you broken hearted, but seeing you move on made Jungsu broken hearted. (non-idol au)

WC:~1.7k 

Warning: angst

Key: B/n - brother’s name

photo not mine credits to owner.

“I like you Jungsu.” It was a bitter-sweet confession. 

“Y/n-” Jungsu began. 

“I know you don’t like me back. I know that I’m just b/n’s little sister to you and that’s ok.” You offered a smile. “I just wanted to tell you,” you finished. Jungsu was at a loss for words. He can’t say that he is surprised by your feelings. He had a bit of an inkling that you might’ve been harboring feelings for him. Now he has gotten confirmation of that, but he’s not sure what to do with it. You’re right he doesn’t like you back. He cares about you, just not in the way you care about him. 

“Did I make you uncomfortable?” you asked fretfully. Your questions makes Jungsu realize that he has been silent this whole time. 

“No you didn’t,” he assured you. “It's, I’m sorry.” He officially rejects you. It hurts more than you thought it would. You knew going into it that he didn’t like you back, yet his rejection still hurts like a jab to your heart. Still you offer him another smile and even a laugh. 

“I said it’s ok, Jungsu.” Now you’re the one reassuring him. “I already knew. I just felt like confessing anyway. I wanted to get my feelings off my chest. I never expected anything from you, so you don’t have to be sorry,” you tell him. 

You had spent many years pining after Jungsu. All those years you knew that you never had a chance. That you would always be nothing more than b/n’s sister. Even with that knowledge you couldn’t stop your heart from wanting him. From daydreaming about what a relationship with him could be like. As time passed your feelings for him grew deeper and heavier. They eventually got so heavy that you couldn’t bear the weight of them anymore. You had to tell him, even if you already knew the outcome. Sure there was the hopeful part of you that fantasized about him telling you that you were mistaken and that he liked you too. That would have to stay as just another one of your daydreams about him. One of the last ones you're hoping. Another factor in you confessing to Jungsu was that you thought it was time for you to get over him. You spent enough years dreaming about a relationship that would never happen, so you thought it was time you got some closure and moved on.

“I’ll get going then. You can go back to hanging out with b/n.” You turned around to head back inside of your house. 

“Wait a sec,” Jungsu said. 

“Yeah?” you turned back to Jungsu. 

“Goodnight,” he tells you, giving you a small smile. The smile is another apology. You look up at the night sky shining above you both from your backyard patio. Then you shift your eyes back over to Jungsu. 

“Goodnight,” you say back to him. Giving him a matching smile, but your smile is consoling. 

However, you can’t keep wearing your smile. It disappears as soon as you’re back inside your house. Your tears fall as soon as you shut your bedroom door. It was time for you to cry over your unrequited love. To mourn for the years your heart spent yearning for him. It was time for you to cry for your cute little daydreams that filled your head. To have a moment for all the times you spent doing your homework in the kitchen just to be able to catch a glimpse of Jungsu when he came over. Let some tears fall for the way your heart would flutter when Jungsu hugged you. It was time for you to let it all go. Let all your feelings for Jungsu out, so that you could make peace with them and move on. 

At first it was hard. You couldn’t help but feel slightly awkward seeing Jungsu after you confessed to him. You tried your best to act normal, but it was clear that things were different now. They were different for a couple of reasons. One being that your heart hurts. It didn’t pick up upon seeing him. Instead it ached. Number two being that Jungsu was being gentler towards you, as if he was trying to make up for not returning your feelings. It was sweet of him, but it was a sweetness you didn’t need. The distance between the two of you also increased. You pulled away from him as much as you could without it being too noticeable. You weren’t conveniently in the kitchen anymore when Jungsu was over, you just stayed in your room.  You made other plans, so you wouldn’t linger around Jungsu. Your brother did notice these slight changes in your routine, but he didn’t really question it. He figured you were growing up. You found friends that you wanted to hang with more. 

Or maybe you found someone you wanted to hangout more with. Your brother was surprised when you brought over a new “guy friend”. 

“A boy?” He raised his brow at you when you walked through the door with your new friend. 

“Yes, this is my friend Hunter,” you introduced. 

“And how did you meet this friend?” he questioned. 

“He’s a friend of y/f/n. We met when I went over to y/f/n’s for a movie night last month,” you explained. Your brother nods and eyes you suspiciously. 

“Well, have fun then. Not too much though,” he points at you, which causes you to laugh. 

Jungsu was also surprised when he saw you laughing in the kitchen with Hunter. You stopped laughing when you saw Jungsu standing in the doorway, looking a bit awkward. 

“Oh, Hunter, this is my brother’s friend Jungsu.” Your brother’s friend. The words repeat themselves in Jungsu’s head. They don’t sit right with him. “Jungsu, this is Hunter,” you say. 

“Her soon-to-be boyfriend,” Hunter states flirtily, making you laugh. 

“Be quiet,” you chuckle, smacking Hunter in the shoulder. 

“You’re not saying no though,” Hunter points out. Jungsu feels a tug in his heart. His stomach suddenly doesn’t want the chips he originally came into the kitchen to grab.

“Well I’ll just grab a water and leave you two alone then,” Jungsu said. His hand feels clammy as he grabs the cool water from the fridge. His stomach felt queasy as he walked out of the kitchen and back to your brother’s room. Hunter clearly liked you and you didn’t look like you minded it. It looked like you had some feelings for him too. It made Jungsu disheartened. He can hear the way you laughed with Hunter ringing in his ears over and over. You used to laugh with him like that. He used to make you laugh like that. Could he ever make you laugh like that again? Jungsu finds that he doesn’t want that answer to be no. 

“Hunter likes you,” Jungsu stated. The two of you are back out on your back patio undering the glowing moon. It feels oddly reminiscent of the night you confessed to him.

“Yeah he does,” you smiled. “He took an interest in me on the day we first met and started to pursue me, but I wasn’t really looking for a relationship then,” you told. Jungus knows that he is the reason for that. It makes his heart weigh heavy. “He was respectful about it. Said he’d wait until I was ready, but he wouldn’t be going anywhere in the meantime.” Jungsu can see the genuine happiness on your face, yet it hurts him. He doesn’t like you being happy because of another guy. 

“Are you ready now?” Read as are you over him? Jungsu fears he might regret asking that question. 

“You know what? I think I am,” you nodded. “Hunter makes me really happy.” you placed a hand over your heart. He healed what Jungsu broke. Your heart may be healed, but Jungsu feels his break. He definitely regrets asking. He regrets realizing that he did care about you the way you cared, or used to care about him, only after you started to care for someone else. He was too late. 

“Then be with him.” Jungsu offers you a smile. It was the same smile you offered him when you told him it was ok that he didn’t like you back. Fake reassurance, that's what those smiles were, but you both played them off so well. 

“I will,” you tell him. Your words land a jab into Jungsu’s heart. He lost you. 

“I’ll head back inside now,” Jungsu announces. He turns to head back inside the house. 

“Wait a minute,” you said. 

“Yeah?” Jungsu turned back to you. 

“Goodnight,” you smiled at him. This smile wasn’t consoling though. It did still bring comfort to Jungsu though. Your smile always did. Because it warmed his heart to see you happy. 

I like you, the words sit on the tip of Jungsu’s tongue. However, he can’t say them. That wouldn’t be fair to you. He already made you go through the pain of unrequited love. He doesn’t want to hurt you again. His eyes gravitate to the stars above in the night sky then they fall back to you.

“Goodnight,” he gives you a matching smile. This one is also apologetic, but for a different reason. He feels sorry that he didn’t figure out his feelings for you sooner. His smile falls right when he enters back inside the house. His tears silently fall from his eyes when he closes the door to your brother’s room. Thankfully your brother is out cold. He lets his tears fall for his unrequited love. He feels the ache of his yearning heart. He creates a cute little daydream in his head. The same daydream you created of where he tells you that you were mistaken and he liked you too back when you confessed to him. He’ll live in that daydream for a while to distract himself. Then when the time comes he’ll move on from it. Just like the way you moved on from him.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 Years Later

“Remember when you confessed to me back then?” Jungsu asked you. 

“Of course I do? How could I forget my first heartbreak?” you laughed. 

“You were my first heartbreak too,” Jungsu informs.

“Huh?” You tilted your head confused. 

“I realized that I liked you too back then. Only after you moved on with Hunter.” He pointed to the shiny ring on your finger. 

“Jungsu,” you started. 

“I just wanted to tell you. I wanted to get it off my chest. I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable either it’s…”

“Just so I know?” you asked. 

“Yeah, just so you know,” Jungsu says. It was a bitter-sweet confession.

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