#even now i don't have a huge problem with my deadname i just. wanted a name that makes it clear i'm a guy now

[i-am-just-a-skeleton]

anyone else kinda just forget they have a name

[anyroads]

With all due respect this isn't what deadnaming is? Deadnaming is deliberately calling someone by a name they no longer use and that is associated with their pre-transitional self. It's a shitty thing to do because it's a deliberate denial of that person's identity. Saying "Elliot Page, formerly known as-" is an acknowledgment that he is no longer that person, but since not everyone has celeb news directly uploaded into their brain every second of the day, not everyone is aware of the same things you are. You'd be surprised if you went outside and talked to people not on this hellsite, how many of them have no idea that the lead from Juno transitioned and is now known as Elliot.

I don't understand how people can reblog a bunch of posts about the widespread injustice of having to work three jobs and barely be able to make rent and then think that, given how much everyone is struggling and busy with the hustle, they somehow have time to keep up on the same news they do. The headline "Elliot Page, formerly known as-" is not for you. It's for the parent of three working 80 hours a week who doesn't remember the news snippet from two years ago. Not everyone is up to date on the same celebrity culture you are. The same goes for the people you went to high school or college with. Some people are unaware that the person you're discussing transitioned. That's OK. People are allowed to not know things. They're allowed to catch up. Giving context for someone by referring to their past identity to give them context is not deadnaming, because it's acknowledging that they no longer identify as such. If someone continues to keep referring to them by their deadname as if it was their current name, that's deadnaming and that's shitty. Don't do that. If you can't understand the difference, you have work to do.

But please please stop posting things like this for a laugh because half this site is going to be afraid to talk about trans identities for fear of getting yelled at and the other half will yell at them for literally just being human and not knowing every last piece of information possible. And then there's the huge chunk of this site made up of neurodivergent people who have memory problems and/or difficulty rerouting neural pathways so their long-term memory can store new information about something or someone they already know. Making people feel shitty when they are trying their best and don't mean to hurt anyone, and acting like there's no room for error between being an ally and being a bigot is deeply harmful and if you make people feel shitty who are trying and who, by the way, are sometimes trans themselves, is bullying and I'm tired of it. I'm tired of bullies who hide behind the veneer of activism when all they really do is enforce moralism that isn't even real. You sound like a 17th century Puritan: ignorant and hateful.

People are beautiful and incredible and flawed and if you stopped yelling at them for not being perfect in the way you want them to be (or maybe are afraid you aren't either) you might see that. It costs nothing to be nice. It takes less energy to pause and think, "did this person deadname or did they just contextualize this trans person?" than it does to yell at someone, it's just less cathartic. Your personal catharsis doesn't justify being a bully, just because it feels good to you. It feels just as bad to the person you're doing it to.

And by the way, Elliot Page doesn't care if you explain to your friend that his name used to be Ellen if they don't know who you're talking about. He doesn't know you. He can't hear you. He's not going to burst through the wall like the Kool-Aid man and go, "I can't believe you referred to me by my deadname just because your friend had no idea I'm the same person who was in Juno." If people deliberately refer to him by his deadname in order to deny his identity, that's shitty and that's bigoted and unacceptable. But this joke of "it's called a deadname cause if you say it you die" stops being funny the second you scroll down two posts on this hellsite and see that most of the people here are obtuse and were never taught critical thinking skills and are more interested in reductive understandings of already basic ideas that they can use to yell at others and call it activism.

It's ableist and makes autistic and other ND people afraid to talk about their own queer experiences. And it makes a lot of trans people feel anxious they'll get yelled at for talking about their own experiences, because surprise surprise, a lot of trans people with deadnames acknowledge and embrace the identities they had as children and even adults pre-transition. Incredibly, somehow, trans people are like everyone else and not a fucking monolith, so please stop speaking for them as if they have only one need or perspective.

[thedysphoriadiaries]

Entry 11B - I'm taking this transgender thing too seriously - February 24, 11:50pm

Care to explain why I'm having intrusive thoughts?

I sure as hell don't mind if you don't understand.

Hell, I'm even beginning to think that this issue of mine is a first-world problem. After all, who the fuck cares about their gender when they know they could die to anything, at any time?

I don't know why I'm like this. I've resolved to try not to look at women when I'm out and about.

Yet, I do. It's unavoidable.

What do I do now? Move to Saudi Arabia? Syria? Repress by telling myself that when I'm done with transitioning (it's likely to be a decade-long affair), I'd have missed out on too much of life to make up? Accept that I'll never be a girl? Internalize the narrative that I'm the one with the issue?

I'd rather be dead.

I'd rather be dead over suffering like this, living in the liminality of screaming, “Why am I like this?”, over and over, and not getting an answer.

I'd rather be dead over feeling weird amongst guys.

I'd rather be dead over being a burden.

I'd traumatize my family, but it's better then having my parents see their son turn into their daughter. Better than painting a huge fucking target on their backs for transphobic people.

Again, how much more of me must die so I keep walking this earth?

...

And yet, they (not my family; I'm out to my mom and my brother, but not my dad, and they're cool with it; i refer to some of the people I hang out with) talk about it as if living as someone who's not me, is easier.

Eh bro, I've got something important, it's more important that your transgender thing.

You're taking this transgender thing too seriously, my guy.

Being trans is a first-world issue. (this came from me, to myself)

So, I'm the one doing all this shit for attention, huh? Being bisexual, only to turn trans. What's coming next? (What I think my cousin(s) will say)

I told you there's something wrong; you're not trans, [DEADNAME]. (What I think a classmate of mine would say; I told him I was a femboy, but he said no. Of course, he was right. I'm not one.)

I know the ones who spoke the first two sentences didn't mean it. I can't be so sure about the one who spoke the second sentence, though.

It doesn't make it hurt less.

I don't like being called a bro. Other guys don't want to be called bros. They don't want to be girls too.

What is wrong with me?

What is wrong with my own programming, that makes me want to be a girl?

...

just kill me already; I don't see a future for myself anymore.

If I'm too much of a coward to do it via alcohol, I'll just shoot myself.

i'll just need to be patient enough.

[cimmunist]

I did Cimmerian, now it's time for Clef! Like before, the one on the left is my main interpretation and the one I use in mine and my friend's, @bluethepearldiver, AU Gods and Pawns. The one on the right is the @ask-dr-cimmerian version. I put a more detailed overview under the cut, feel free to skip the blog version if you don't want spoilers.

GaP/Main interpretation of Clef:

Species: Immortal human (in most of the versions of the AU)

Age: Unspecified, really fucking old

Gender/orientation: Doesn't use labels, but if I have to specify he's non-binary, on the acearo spectrum and mostly prefers men

Pronouns: Any, prefers he/they

Ethnicity/nationality: Middle eastern, comes from Eden

Job: Department Head of training and development, an O5 or field agent in some of the versions of the AU

Appearance: 5'7'' plus size man, though weight fluctuates during the story, as he forgets to eat during a lot of stress. Two eyes, right is green, left is blue and hazel. Has sharp teeth, covered in scars, the biggest one being the x shaped scar on his chest, later on, gets a snake-shaped scar carved into his right arm. Naturally black/dark brown hair that's greying, uses his reality-bending to make it blonde because he's too lazy to dye it. Always carries around a star-shaped pin.

Personality & health:

Outgoing, charming loudmouth

Lies quite a lot, likes to tell clearly exacerbated stories (people just got used to it)

Cheerful and easily excitable

A huge bastard, loves to tease his friends and coworkers

Not afraid to speak his mind when needed, can be quite abrasive

Avoids confrontation when it comes to personal matters

Doesn't get angry easily, but when he does he gets quiet and stern

Will never cry in public, usually just in private or in front of people he trusts

Struggles a lot with PTSD (which is a problem when you can literally bend reality around you) and later on depression

Relationships:

Love interests: Bright, Kondraki and Cimmerian

Exes: Lilly (abusive + a God, bad combination), Kushim (friend's oc)

Friends: Aaron/Administrator/O5-1A (work acquaintance), Joseph Tamlin (brief old friend), Etienne Baudelaire (old friend, friend's oc), Lilith (best friend), Sophia Light (close-ish work friend), Maveth (friend, oc), Dory (old friend, oc), Lucy (old friend), Raphael (old friend)

Family: Brother to Eve/O5-1B and Kineret (oc, deceased), brother-in-law to Adam, uncle to a bunch of kids including Abel/076 and Cain/073. Had a daughter, Rut, with Kushim and a daughter, Meri, with Lilly.

Trivia:

Mostly known for two things: his great distaste and disrespect to gods, and his talent to almost dying but somehow getting away still alive (lovingly called a cockroach by the grim reaper for it)

Has literally fought gods 3 different times and survived, this list keeps on growing, somebody stop this man

Favourite hobby is probably annoying the death itself

How his immortality works: after he dies his body heals and he comes back to life

Loosely followed the 4231 canon, with some big changes to fit his backstory

Deathly afraid of deep water and drowning (ironic for an immortal)

Literally considered a Saint in one of the religions? Absolutely despises that fact

Real name is Abishai, but doesn't mind going by Abby or any of his many, many nicknames

Actually physically fought Adam Bright before, wouldn't mind doing it again

Very close with his sister

His other sister, Kineret, died saving him. He has major survivor guilt over it.

Actually helped create the foundation, since his sister is the founder, but dipped almost immediately after and started working for the GOC

Rejoined many years later, in exchange for protecting Meri and letting him see her from time to time

Meri was born around the time ancient rome still existed and he was actually able to raise her, they're very close

Met Jack sometime in the 1920s-30s, he was Clef's first real friend in the Foundation

Actually the reason Kondraki got recruited

Contrary to popular belief, he can play on his ukulele very well and can write songs, he just chooses not to

Knows a lot of languages

Both a reality bender and a reality anchor, unable to be affected by other reality benders

Actually is a lot more powerful reality bender than he lets on

Got his X shaped scar on the chest from Lilly

Used to travel a lot and didn't liked to be tied to one spot

Blog version of Clef:

Species: Nephilim, half-human half-angel

Age: 98, looks ~40

Gender: Non-binary/genderqueer

Orientation: Oriented aroace/ ace demi-homoromantic

Pronouns: Any

Ethnicity/nationality: Mixed middle eastern, raised in Cornwall

Job: Liaison for the Ethics Committee

Appearance: 5'5'' plus-sized man. Has three eyes, one right green one, two left ones, one blue one hazel. Has sharp teeth, is covered in scars, the biggest one being an x shaped scar on his chest. Has burn scars on his feet. Has naturally black/dark brown hair, dyes it a lighter colour. He usually keeps his hair in a braid. Flowers grow out of his hair.

Personality & health:

The loud, annoying yet charming bastard of the ethics committee

Has generally a laid back, jokester personality

Very devoted to his family and friends

Not the type to get mad easily, when he does get angry he just gets quiet and stern

Never cries in public, just in private

Little bastard man, loves teasing his coworkers and husband

Struggles a lot with PTSD and paranoid delusions, but is slowly doing better

Relationships:

Love interests: Cimmerian, later on Bright and Iceberg

Ex: Lilly

Friends: Kondraki (old friend), Bright (old friend), Tiffany Okely (work friend)

Family: Bastard child of an angel, raised as an only child of a single mother. Had Epon with Lilly, later on, had an "accident" named Melody with his husband, adopted a step-parent role to Cimmerian's older daughters May and Eliza

Trivia:

Roughly follows the events of 4231

Raised Epon for the first few months to year's of their life before they were found to be anomalous and forcibly taken from him

Regularly checks up on his kid and leaves her small gifts

Semi-omniscient, ever since he was born he could just see and know things others couldn't. Perfectly aware of the fact Cimmerian is a demigod, even before their husband finds out himself. Uses his omniscience to check up on Epon and make sure they're okay.

Used to be very close with Bright before Cimmeriam swooped in and stole the man, slowly rebuilding that relationship

Cannot play the ukulele for the life of his and has no intentions of ever learning

Had a lot of bucket and cowboy hats but gave them all to Melody

Cimmerian made the mistake of allowing them to pick out Melody's clothes when they were little, now they have Clef's sense of style, oh no

Is afraid of water, shouting and slamming things is a major trigger of theirs, they also dislike deer and antlers for obvious reasons

Suffers from chronic scar pain in her legs

They have exactly 0 respect for any of the o5s

One of their hobbies is gardening

Pretty much majority of their scars were caused by Lilly

Alto Clef is their chosen name and god help you if you deadname them

Loves cats, they're her favourite animal

The platonic marriage with Cinmerian was their idea

Child of 001 /J

[divagonzo]

So i i read countless posts about how NOT to write trans characters, but little to none on how to DO write them. I know relaying on femenine/masculine traits can be offensive, and showing them naked is probably not allowed in a YA book, so like is there a way to make it obvious to the reader that the character is trans, besides saying '' " is trans or ''i'm trans male/woman'' I don't want to leave it to reader's interpretation i want to make 100% irrefutable fact. So got any advice/resources?

Afternoon nonnie! Fancy a cuppa?

TL;DR: Write them being who they are and make it something terribly simple, like, say.

“My Name is Max. I was given another name at birth but it never fit.”

“I was reborn at 19. I chose my name and it is Samantha.”

While I will not tag my kiddos on this, if they wish to speak up and out on it, fantastic.

Putting a Read-More ‘cause this got long for the in-depth answer.

But, quite frankly, writing them as the binary or non-binary, gender non-conforming, or demi-whichever, agender, etc - just write them well. Making it explicit that they are Trans probably  crosses a line too far for the story.

(Give me my demarcation line, darn it!)

Wow, now I will freely admit this is a very, very delicate subject because much of what is out there is written as stereotyping and f/e/tish material and G_d knows how wrong that is.

Now, a huge caveat here: My kiddo is Trans. I have two of them. Neither were born of my body but I claim them gladly. I don’t think of her or him as such, just as my daughter and son. I still make mistakes but work my arse off to remedy such. The biggest one, though, is respect their chosen name and their (ahem) pronouns.

If you even think of trying to deadname your character except as shown as how rude, insulting, disrespectful, humiliating, and demeaning it is, - Don’t.

If you have no problem calling someone named Robert a Bobby or Bob anyone with a nickname or any name except the one given other than Robert, then you will have zero ethical issues calling someone by their given name. It’s just that easy if you respect their humanity and their right to exist.

(Sorry - had to get that out of the way immediately. Yes, it’s that important and that easy to respect someone.)

The same will be said for you when you’re writing such a character.

But then I make the same suggestions when it comes to writing any character who is different from yourself: Do.Your.Research. If you think you have done enough research, keep researching. Look at anecdotes from those who are happily out. Read from those who want to transition and haven’t. Read from those who are in the middle of such and their struggles and positives. Read about the stigma that these courageous people endure from stupid f* who can’t be arsed to respect their humanity and existence.

How can you research such? Ask people in the community. Ask and make sure they are comfortable answering your questions, even the complicated ones that are highly uncomfortable - but for the love of all thing Holy, don’t take it personally if they don’t answer a question.

Please, don’t focus on bits and what’s under clothing. That’s a quagmire subject that brings in Transmeds, te/r/fs and other biased people and agendas. Those agendas are very hurtful to those who are in the situation.

Second: Write the character but don’t speak over those who live these issues. If you receive constructive criticism of what was cocked up, take it in stride and learn from it. We all make mistakes when it comes to writing people/ characters realistically and honestly. Write a Trans character (or in this case, someone who was A?AB) and write them having the issue but it’s not the entirety of who they are. 

Like my kiddos - the older one is a A* / 1st in Physics/Astronomy at Uni. It’s kicking her arse up one side and down another but damn if I’m not so proud of her for fighting every step of the way to continue to achieve way beyond what I have achieved. It’s not just the academics, either. It’s her passion for helping others, giving voice to those who lack a voice, who don’t have the courage to be a Dragon for the ones who are still in fear. My beautiful baby Dragon who is fierce, loving, so damn empathetic, kind and caring and compassionate, and overall amazing kiddo. (Kiddo being Gender Neutral for both of the ones I claim.) Being Trans is a small part of who they are when overall they are a wonderful human being.

The other kiddo of mine? Amazing Artist in secondary and love seeing their work and know they are going to go far in their chosen field of profession. (Doesn’t hurt they love, adore, cherish, and treasure a dear family member of mine, too, so no complaints there, either!) Same thing here. Yes, they are, but it’s a small bit of the overall that they are wonderful human beings. 

Isn’t that the most important thing? That they are kind, helpful people? 

Would I write what it’s like to be Trans and have the issues of such? No. That’s rude and I would be speaking over their experiences (but if they asked for me to help them verbalize it, I would.)

Would I write a character who is such? Yes, provided I did the research, including the fact that you don’t have to be TransMed to identify as Trans. (Which in of itself is a huge, sticky, third rail subject which I won’t get into here.)

Would I write a parent who has a child who identifies as such and how to help them cope, and grow as a person to be true to who they are? Hell yes. 

If you’ve picked up here what I am conveying, fantastic. But if you need it distilled... 

Write them honestly, candidly, but focusing just on the fact that they are Trans is treading on fetish material and don’t go there. Just no.

[some-murmurings]

Essay!!

edit after 1000+ words: I'm so sorry oh my fucking god. I didn't realize how many thoughts I had. I had so many. So fucking many. This got so long. You don't need to read it all. Jesus Christ. Thank you for asking. I had fun.

I'm glad you asked, I nearly wrote my 20+ page senior seminar paper on this topic so, while I have none of the sources together or any super strong body paragraphs, an overview should be ezpz laimon shqueez-ee.

Brief personal context: I finished 2/3 of my undergrad in the Philosophy program at a small liberal arts college, then switched to Creative writing for reasons that will become apparent. I was raised by intellectual dickheads who rely heavily on clever rhetoric to "win" conversations (yes, even with literal toddlers), so I have an unyielding spite for Academia in general. It will come through so judge my bias accordingly.

This video by a really solid video essaying, "Knowing Better" explores a common cultural narrative he calls "The Standard American History Myth"

Think "Abraham Lincoln ended Slavery" and "Martin Luther King Jr. ended Racism" and "Obama ended Racism AGAIN" all of which are extremely common implications (and frequently explicit claims) made in most US public schools. No I do not have a study to back that up. Yes it's probably hyperbolic.

Basically, because the bureaucracies in charge of lesson plans in our public schools (assuming you're from the US, sorry if wrong) all share super similar incentive structures (good test scores, don't encourage gang violence, actively destroy children's creative spirit), huge swaths of misinformation get proliferated into the public consciousness. The already-euphemistic "Trail of Tears" being understood as "merely aggressive relocation of indigenous folk" becomes commonplace, it becomes impolite to suggest that the genocide was, in fact, a genocide. A phenomena we're seeing right now with Gaza and have been seeing with our colonial regime over the Imperial Periphery for actual centuries.

I argue that Academic Philosophy suffers a similar sickness.

In my courses, I took class after class after class talking about the same 20 or so European guys who were overwhelmingly framed as "Important figures with Important thoughts about Important things" with little to no acknowledgement of their particular cultural context.

Very pointedly, with little to no acknowledgement of their particular cultural context... when it made them look bad.

I did not learn Aristotle was staunchly pro-slavery (notably using nearly identical arguments to the US Confederacy) until nearly 2 years into my degree, and by then I was surrounded by white cishet guys insisting that "He's the Father of Philosophy, [deadname]" (I wasn't out to these jamokes, naturally).

Sidebar: is Aristotle or Socrates the father of philosophy? Plato isn't, too broad, but I've seen both A & S called the patriarch and I've long since gotten lost. Petition to change it to Hegel, cement our collective deathwish.

I googled Heidegger and actually did a spit take. My main man was wavery on a whole bunch of stuff he really did not need to be. Nazi stuff. Heidegger was a Nazi.

Now, a frequent rebuttal I got from my professors was that, in effect, I'm grandstanding! My critiques are sweeping, performative. What, do I want us to *gasp*... burn their books?!

Plainly, no. Kant being so pro-colonialism he made nose-charts (note: can't source this :( I distinctly remember a professor showing us them) on some nasal phrenology shit isn't just an opportunity for easy dunking (altho it is that too), it's a huge, foundational problem with his perspective on ethics. Like really, really, really big issue.

In fact, once you start digging through the lives and cultural contexts of ANY big name thinker, you realize several extremely funny things:

Irregularly bigoted in at least one (1) direction. Usually more.

A guy

A guy we'd probably call "white" nowadays*

A guy we'd probably call "white" nowadays who had the money and free time to write a lot

A guy we'd probably call "white" nowadays who happens to position himself ways provocative to recent political movements

Fun game: see how many of the "big names" (and even more niche favs) of yours last to the end of this list. Most of em? Yeah.

This is because "Academic Philosophy" is lowkey an oxymoron. Not that study of philosophical texts itself is useless; Ursula K LeGuin's "Those who walk away from Omelas" taught me more in sidebar summary than any full text Plato ever wrote.

The issue is that our cultural definition of "philosophy" has been MASSIVELY narrowed to a very specific range of weird abstractions or artistic movements. No, not even Existentialism is safe. I love you Wittgenstein, you were right. The Tractatus does suck balls and ass (not to yuck a yum) but you didn't escape the event horizon of Philosophy.

Taking a given class, I frequently bounced thousands of years in between these poorly introduced dickheads. You do a week on Kant then a week on Aristotle then a week on your professor's work then a week on a cyberpunk author. You'll jump from Augustine to Hume like these two were riding the train to work next to Foucault. Insanity.

It's fine to juxtapose ideas you like in a class, obviously, but that's just it: these teachers aren't. Not really, they're slapdashedly throwing lesson plans together and using syllabi they got off the internet because they haven't slept in a month. No explanation of the differences, no time to explore the faults in their perspectives, just dead-eyed stares at flickering overhead fluorescence.

There's a huge pressure to teach names that admin can recognize, to focus on "Real, Published Thinkers" as if academic publication does not VERY aggressively select against uncomfortable truths. Y'know. Basically the primary goal of philosophy. Loving wisdom despite its burden.

This got disorganized. I'm too tired to reorganize or even edit it. Apogolies for typos, I hope they're not too major. And, if you did read this, I hope it made some sort of sense. I love Philosophy (outside of college) a LOT, it's just so painful to see it get bastardized so badly.

Anything is philosophy, to me, any single damn thing. Some more than others, I bet, but really anything. If you tried to make it true and tried to teach me something about anything, that's philosophy.

Not like truth lives in a book anyways, right?

*strictly speaking, e.g. ancient Athenians did not have "whiteness" in the modern sense. They did, however, have a rigid class system with an ethnically diverse slave-class, so one can reasonably extrapolate many "Citizens" enjoyed privileges based on their ethnicity & class. White Supremacy may be a modern stupidity but its constituent parts are not.

THE GOOD PLACE (2016 - 2020) I 2.12 - Somewhere Else

[systemadministratorclu]

Thank you, Grim. I.....I needed this. Yes, I'm sure he would, too.

People like this are why I'm non-religious.

In answer to your question, she has one daughter, but the daughter is an adult and due to have a baby in October. I don't know if the daughter ever had a nickname, but I'm not even going by a nickname. I already don't even use my legal name because I hate it and have for a long time, and I went by something else (gender neutral, and we already knew other females with that name) the first chance I got (middle school, I think). But even that name doesn't feel right and hasn't for a while (I'll still use it around my mom though, because it took YEARS to get her to call me that and not my birth name). 'Hal' does feel right, which is probably why this hurt so much even though I expected her to be an asshole about it.

I'm thinking of telling breakfast manager (the good manager) this tomorrow, mainly because she's the only one I think MIGHT actually be supportive if I want to really go by Hal and not have it be just a nickname. I don't plan to make a huge deal of it and I probably won't expect everyone to use it (these people have known me by what is now my deadname for almost a year, and some of them are older) but maybe at least she will get it.

Problem with doing that is, I'm nervous as hell, because I have no idea how to approach this and be taken seriously without sounding cuckoo.

---------

@faeymouse @thursdaysdove @ted-the-survivor @spaceandthedigitalfrontier thank you guys so much for your replies here.

I knew this was coming, but it still hurts.

Why do grown adults have to be assholes about little things that bring their peers happiness?

One of my coworkers (a MANAGER) saw my Hal 9000 pin (the one I made myself, that breakfast manager thought was really cool and said I should keep wearing) and glared/pointed at it and loudly spat "what is THAT?!". She's also trying to rush me off to break (even though I can't go on break until my drawer is checked out, which the good manager was in the process of doing). She then goes and yells "Go take yo break, HAL.", saying my name as mockingly as she can.

I expected this from her, as she's super religious and her reaction to hearing that someone was ace (me, but she didn't know it was me) was a disgusted look and a comment of "they need Jesus". But this still hurts. I took the pin off in the hope that if she doesn't see it again, she won't comment and she'll forget the whole thing. But honestly, lady, why do you care? What is it hurting for me to have this little thing that makes me smile in a job where I really don't get much to smile about? And why say my name that way? What business is it of yours that I chose a different name to go by because it makes me feel better about myself (and is a beautiful name according to a customer). If this is how your 'Jesus' teaches you to be, then your 'Jesus' can go fuck himself. I don't want anything to do with him.