#even native speakers make this mistake regularly so this is an explanation for everyone

[consult-sherlockholmes]

Before one of you starts again 'Sherlock stop bullying someone whose first language is not English' (which I never did anyway) I am merely trying to help her learn the intricacies of the language to help her improve, not to put her down or make fun of her. I would never do that. Furthermore, most native speakers who are not familiar with needlework also don't realise the difference between crocheting and knitting and use it interchangeably, so it's not a grave mistake. So see this as an explanation for everyone. Crocheting and knitting are not the same, although both involve yarn. Knitting uses two long needles and the results are interlocking loops, which makes it more stretchable. Crocheting involves only one hook, and the stitches resemble knots more, making it more solid.

Beware of the crochet-dad. I’m learning how to crochet and I’m proud of it.

Blogging this to show I mean it.

[eiftody-blog]

What Does Silence Mean in a Japanese Business Meeting?

Foreign managers come to Japan understanding Japanese people are generally more quiet in a business setting, but I think optimistically believe the people skills that got them to this point in their career will be more than enough to overcome this cultural barrier -  this is hubris.  As of the writing of this article, I’ve been working as a communication coach in Japan for 10 years and I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt, one of the two most common issues I’m retained to ‘fix’ is silence in meetings.  

When you talk to Japanese natives, they believe there is a special unspoken understanding that only Japanese native speaking to Japanese native understands.  To be sure, there is a special unspoken understanding all cultures enjoy.  However, I think silence has a special place in the history and culture of Japan.

A history of silence

It wasn’t that many years ago, Japanese company presidents would feign falling asleep even during negotiations with another firm.  The meaning? - I have complete confidence in the team negotiating on my behalf.  In the fact, my company doesn’t need this deal - A pure powerplay.  Historically, silence in the face of challenge or discomfort or distress was the ultimate display of mental and physical control.  During one of the only samurai suicides (seppuku) ever witnessed by a European, it was reported the only sounds made during the excruciatingly painful execution was the sound of the accused’s body crashing to the ground and the pulsing hiss of blood spraying out out of the decapitated man’s headless body.  Click here to read the full account.

It’s an extreme story, but it clearly demonstrates how compete control over one’s emotions and silence, even in the face of excruciatingly painful death, was historically a Japanese virtue.

Even in today’s business environment, silence and a restraint of personal opinion or emotion is very normal.  When I go out with my Japanese friends I occasionally try to get a rise out of them by challenging their politics, but I am rarely successful.  This is a country of Barack Obamas - cool, controlled and measured in their responses.  Using aggression or strong pressure or a strong challenge or a direct accusation will almost certainly be met with ... silence.  Japanese pushed too hard are embarrassed for themselves and they are embarrassed for you.  

What did my research turn up?

Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve sat down with some of my most trusted Japanese customers and friends to get their insights into the meaning of silence in Japan and the results were very interesting.  My biggest surprise was there was no concensus about what silence means in a meeting.  Of course almost everyone started with the standard, ‘Japanese people understand the non-spoken message of other Japanese.’  I have no doubt this is at least partially true, but when asked if they could articulate this that non-spoken message further, the truth came out - it can mean many different things.  

Silence in a Japanese meeting might mean agreement.  It might mean disagreement.  It might mean I don’t have a suggestion.  It might mean I don’t care.  It might mean I didn’t do my homework and I don’t know what you’re talking about.  However, the number 1 answer I received was,  ‘It might mean I have an idea but I’m too embarrassed to say it out loud because I don’t want to make a mistake in front of my colleagues.’

Bottom line

Japanese colleagues are not so different from western colleagues; they don’t like making a fool of themselves in front of other people.  Combine this internationally common work-place issue with a cultural bias that says silence is a kind of virtue, and foreign managers naturally run into trouble in their department meetings.

Saying, ‘Heah gang, what does everyone think about this idea?’ will amost certainly go nowhere.  Only a team that has been together for a long time and trusts each other (and you) will offer ideas readily in front of the entire group.  While some westerners might try to stand out from their peers and give you a direct answer, Japanese colleagues will tend to wait until they can talk to you privately.   If your Japanese colleagues do answer you, it will usually be a very indirect, non-commital answer to humor you (remember, they don’t want you to be embarassed in front of others either).

So what’s the solution for a western-thinking manager in Japan?  If we want the true input of our Japanese team members I have a few suggestions (made by Japanese natives who regularly communicate with westerns for business) to help you avoid silence:

Ask questions directly to individual people and give twice the normal time to answer you normally would, but move on if you get a lot of, ‘mmmm ..., that’s difficult ...’. These responses may sound to you like your Japanese colleague wants more time to consider their answer, but in reality these responses are simply a polite way to say, ‘I don’t know.’

In global meetings, English is a big hurdle.  Simplifying questions, cutting out all idioms, and simplifying explanations will encourage non-native speakers to speak more.

Give questions as homework to give meeting members time to think about their answers (I think this usually gets the best results).

Try letting people write ideas down to submit them to the group rather than stating ideas.  This might be a lot less pressure for meeting attendees.

When faced with silence, foreigners should use a lot of clarification and confirmation to make sure everyone understands the questions.  

Check with the Japanese team leader to find out what silence means in a particular situation when you experience it.

I’m Edward Alexander Iftody, founder of Edward Alexander Consulting and author of ‘Surviving Work’.

www.businesscommunicationcoaching.com