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#even if you think hes silent because of his label that doesnt give him free reign to demand being carried like a spoiled fat fool
news4dzhozhar · 6 months
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neo-shitty · 3 years
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toffee!
no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)
mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*
hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao
okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?
YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.
hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*
no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.
oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?
ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.
that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!
ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol
<3 w.a. 🐺
at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.
i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.
"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.
some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.
okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.
please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.
oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.
good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 
i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.
0 notes
adambstingus · 7 years
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/165810005762
0 notes
samanthasroberts · 7 years
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/
from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/
0 notes
jimdsmith34 · 7 years
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
source http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/09/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve.html
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allofbeercom · 7 years
Text
6 Guys Youll End Up Dating When Youve Been Single For Too Long
I’m writing this post from my bed.
I’m un-showered, even though I came home from CrossFit three hours ago.
I’m slugging back red wine and crushing a party size-serving of chips and salsa.
I turned my phone on silent an hour ago, just so I would stop checking to see if the guy I like has responded to the text I sent earlier.
Needless to say, I dont think you get much more single than this.
There are nights when I rejoice in it, and there are nights when I sulk in it.
Tonight, its the latter.
But as I sit here, elbow-deep in a bag of Tostitos and knuckles clenched around a topped-off glass of wine, I cant help but be grateful for this single life Ive been living for almost a year now.
Its an unexpected and for me unwanted learning experience.
I say its “unwanted” because Im the relationship type.
Ive never had a one-night stand (nor will I ever).
I like commitment.
Dating gives me anxiety because I never know what to say or do.
Should I text him first? Will he text me?
Whats the right emoji to use? Should I even use an emoji?
Let me screenshot this and send it to all my friends to see if its okay.
What should I wear?
Unwanted or not, Im on one hell of a self-learning curve.
I think its so important for every woman to have this bittersweet journey, especially in her20s.
Im learning when to keep my guard up and when to let it come crashing down.
Im learning how to be patient.
I’m learning what I like and what I dont.
Im learning so much about myself because Im finding time for myself.
Im trying new things.
I’ve joined CrossFit and hot yoga, and I quit some unhealthy habits that were crippling my self-esteem.
Ive tried tons of new restaurants completely free, thanks to first dates.
But besides learning about myself, Im learning a lot about the dating pool.
Let me tell you this: When they say there are plenty of fish in the sea, it’s true.
But the ones you want to catch are really, really hard to find. They’re borderline nonexistent.
Ive met tons of guys ranging in age, profession, personality, height, hobbies, etc.
However, after dozens and dozens of dates and hundreds of right swipes that have amounted to nothing, Ive been able to put a label on just about every single one.
Ive boiled them down to six main categories:
1. The Ex
When one relationship ends, its so easy to look back at a previous ex and question why that relationship didnt work out either.
Call it delusion or curiosity, but it always seems like a logical first step when youre single.
So, if youre both single, why not give it another whirl?
Its comfortable. Its fun.
Its your opportunity to double-check hes really not the one who got away.
When my high school sweetheart found out that my recent ex and I had ended things, he came back into my life the same way he left it: like a tornado, leaving a path of destruction in his wake.
Without getting into details for his sake (and his girlfriends, whoops), the verdict was we broke up for a reason.
Thats always a validating feeling.
In the words of my inner spirit animal, Taylor Swift, we are never, ever getting back together. Like, ever.
But hey, like I said, it cant hurt to double check.
2. The Non-Committal Charmer
Hell tell you youre exclusive, but he won’t ever make you his girlfriend.
He’ll monopolize your free time to ensure you dont spend time with anyone else, but he wont commit.
Youll never meet his friends or family, so dont even try.
He is in complete control of the relationship because you let him be.
His charm, wit and personality compel you to stay.
His goal is to perpetually keep your relationship in a hostage situation.
You want to see other people, but you dont want to put what you have at risk because its comfortable and fun.
Youre convinced that at some point, hell come to his senses.
He wont.
So, youre going to want to quit while you’re ahead. Dont waste any time.
3. The Egotistical PrickWho Plays On Your Heartstrings
Is it rough to call these people sociopaths?
Theyll do everything they can to make you like them in a short period of time.
Theyll cook you your favorite dinner, buy you nice wine and compliment you on the weird things you wish people would notice.
They make it so easy to let your guard down.
Then, one day, theyll just stop talking to you.
Theyll give you some bullsh*t excuse like theyre just “not ready for a relationship right now, or they really like you, and “it scares” them.
No, you just needed an ego trip. Or, you needed to get laid.
Or both.Whatever.
These types of guys are the reason all women are a little hesitant, confused, broken and yes crazy.
There are plenty of them out there.
4. The Former Frat Guy Who Just Cant Let Go Of College
In my opinion, these guys are the absolute worst.
This is mainly because they dont even realize theyre being the absolute worst. The naivety isnt at all charming.
He doesnt have to be a frat guy. Hes just the guy who loves college.
He cant grow up.
He loves his boys and beer pong more than he loves his job. He knows more about chugging beers than investing in a 401(k).
He has no idea how to start or maintain a conversation. His career path is questionable.
He most likely has the life goal of being a stay-at-home dad.
Thats what she said jokes are far too common, and he finds them far too funny.
While I personally havent gone on a single date with one of these guys, they exist in the masses.
So good luck, female young professionalsof America who thought men matured after college.
AsI say to my dad, “Im looking for the smartest idiot over 25.”
5. The One Youre Just Not That Into
These, for me, are the most common.
Then again, I think they’re common for everyone.
If we were into every person we met, there wouldnt be anyone special, right?
But sometimes, you really want to like someone.
He hasa great job. You love hisfriends and family. He’s funny.
You have everything in common. You can text all day and never run out of things to talk about.
Your Snapchat exchanges keep you laughing all day long.
He’s proud of you. He cares about you.
Youre even a perfect match (according to the stars).
But, you just arent into this person, no matter how hard you try to be.
While relationships take effort, you should never force yourself to fall for someone because you think you’d be great together.
It’s a recipe for disaster and heartbreak, and that’s one sad situationI won’t ever willingly walk into.
So when you find yourself in this kind of mess, you have to break the ice.
It’s unfair to string the other person along when he’s clearly feeling all the emotions you wish you could.
When you’re dating someone youre not into, but whom you love as a human being, breaking the ice is a double-edged sword.
You both end up hurt and bummed.
6.The One
Every person I talk to tells me the one will walk into my life when I least expect it.
It wont be because I spent my entire lunch break swiping left and right (mostly left).
It wont be because I asked my co-workers, friends, family and acquaintances if they know someone else whos completely exhausted by the routine dating scene.
It certainly wont be because I got drunk enough to get the nerve to walk up to a guy and strike up a random conversation.
No way, not me.
Im told Ill meet someone in a sweet form of serendipity.
Ill accidentally spill my coffee on him at Starbucks.
Well bond over the fresh produce at Trader Joes.
Well be at the same bar for happy hour.
Something will happen.
When that something does, in fact, happen, all those heartbreaks, mistakes, moments of weakness and feelings of guilt will wash away.
You won’t question whether your guard should be up or down. What or when to text won’t be a thought.
Everything will slip into place.
Because as everyone always says, “When you know, you know.”
So until then, my advice to every single woman out there is this: Be a lady.
Be fearless, but not careless.
Be willing to love and unafraid to get hurt.
Put yourself out there. Learn to love yourself.
Discover hobbies that fill your time.
But this is the most important piece of advice of all: Never ever settle for any of the five who come before “the one.”
from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/27/6-guys-youll-end-up-dating-when-youve-been-single-for-too-long/
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viralhottopics · 8 years
Text
Janelle Mone: I am the whole package
Shes a musician whose work has brought her massive acclaim. Shes also an outspoken activist in the Black Lives Matter movement, and now Janelle Mone is in Moonlight, one of the most talked about films of the year
One of Janelle Mones earliest childhood memories is of being hugged by her grandmother, a former sharecropper from Mississippi, and listening to her stories from the past: her years as a cotton picker; how their family came to be in Kansas City; the importance of connection to others. It was there, in her grandmas arms, that a slip of a six-year-old girl decided that one day she would become a storyteller, too. She wrote precocious plays and poems, sang and entered talent competitions that she often won, and gave her mother the winnings to help towards the electricity bill.
Twenty five years later, and Mones an acclaimed musician, record label boss and activist who is about to make her acting debut. Ive never viewed myself as just a musician or singer, she says. Im a storyteller who wants to tell untold, meaningful, universal stories in unforgettable ways. I want to do it all, study it all and find my place in it.
Her first role provides a great opportunity for telling an unforgettable story. Barry Jenkinss Moonlight is the coming-of-age tale of Chiron, an African American boy dealing with his sexuality. Its based on the play In Moonlight Black Boys Look Blue by award-winning writer Tarell Alvin McCraney and is all but certain of Oscar nominations when theyre announced on Tuesday. Mone plays Teresa and she and her drug dealer boyfriend Juan become surrogate parents to little Chiron. Mone calls it her Neo from The Matrix moment, explaining that this film, and her recent move into acting, has always been her destiny, that she doesnt believe in coincidence: Things dont just happen, she says. Its all connected.
Its odd to hear her say this, as in person Mone doesnt feel very connected. When we meet she wears huge, round mirrored shades which obscure her face and stay firmly on throughout our interview, reflecting my own face back at me twice over. She sits neatly at the table, her legs curled beneath her. Shes courteous and friendly and businesslike. She chooses her words carefully.
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I had a strong visceral reaction to the Moonlight script, partly because I felt I knew all of these characters, she says. I grew up with a drug dealer like Juan in my neighbourhood who was a mentor to local young people. I had a family member who was addicted to crack, like Paula [Chirons biological mother, played by Naomie Harris]. Chiron himself reminded me of my little cousin they were all characters I could relate to from my upbringing. And Ive played the role of Teresa in real life: my family and friends always have a shoulder to lean on with me, she says.
About 40 minutes into Moonlight, Chiron, sitting at Teresa and Juans table, asks what a faggot is and whether he is one. Theres no music in this scene; Juan doesnt grab a gun and try to blow anyone away. Instead, he gracefully picks the word apart. Its an unexpected reaction.
The misconception is that drug dealers are all monolithic, says Mone, that what you see on TV is how they are in real life. The dealers I knew growing up were hustling and making choices they may not be proud of, but they were also giving back to the community, mentoring young boys and girls, helping people to pay their bills. They can be surrogate mothers and fathers to people in their communities, just like in Moonlight.
Mone grew up in Kansas City with her mother, a janitor, her truck driver stepfather and a sister. Money was tight but her large, devoutly Christian family she has more than 50 first cousins were close. My grandmother had 11 children and although we didnt have a whole lot of money, what we did have was a lot of love, she says. My grandmother was the matriarch. If you didnt have a place to stay, if you needed food, if you were just coming out of jail or rehab, you went to her. Watching her in our family and our wider community was what inspired me and still does.
Doing her sums: in Hidden Figures with Taraji P Henson and Octavia Spencer. Photograph: Allstar/20th Century Fox
Life was tough. There was a lot of nonsense growing up so I reacted by creating my own world, she says. The arts local theatre groups, singing and drama classes gave Mone the drive and focus to finish high school and temporarily work alongside her mother as a maid to save enough money to study at the American Musical and Dramatic Academy in New York.
She then moved to Atlanta, Georgia, after she finished her studies. Shed update her MySpace profile while working at Office Depot to make ends meet, and came to the attention of fellow Atlantan Big Boi of Outkast. They became collaborators and, in 2006, he introduced her to Sean Diddy Combs, who offered her a recording contract. Mone was initially wary of signing her creative control away, but took the chance and it paid off. Diddy was hands off and wanted me to do my thing. Thats why hed offered to sign me in the first place, because I was different and I was the whole package.
For Mone, at 31, with three albums and six Grammy award nominations under her belt, her own record label up and running and two film roles in the pipeline (she also co-stars in the film Hidden Figures, the true story of the African American female mathematicians who helped catapult US astronaut John Glenn into space in the 1960s), 2016 was a year of professional triumphs but personal heartache. She had spent the early part of the year working on new music with her close friend and collaborator, Prince. He was actually helping me with my new music during the time before he transitioned. I was lucky enough to see his last show and tell him how much I loved him. He was a giver people dont know that. He gave so much: advice, very quiet donations to charities. He was a truly incredible soul.
Making her point: on a Black Lives Matter march in San Francisco. Photograph: Breningstall/REX Shutterstock
Still mourning for Prince, Mone was grief-struck a second time last year when, in August, her cousin was killed in a drive-by shooting. The 37-year-old was shot several times when the gunman sprayed bullets into the Kansas City home where she and her three children were sleeping. The gunman remains free. Mone, a long-time advocate of tighter gun control and an active voice in the Black Lives Matter movement pauses, and says quietly: My family is heartbroken and Im still devastated. My cousin was an innocent mother of three children. How? How can this be real life? She continues: We have to do something about gun laws. And we also have to do something about police brutality towards African American people. She points out that they are two different issues, but that we need more allies. People need to continue to speak out about the way African American people are being treated. An injustice to one black man or woman is an injustice to everybody.
Mone has led marches for Black Lives Matter, performed at a concert in aid of the water crisis in Flint, Michigan, alongside Stevie Wonder last year, and released a protest song, Hell You Talmbout, in October in response to the police brutality. Unsurprisingly, she is no fan of Donald Trump. Millennials will not be silenced were the powerhouse now. Were not going to let those who want to make America great again truly take over. Because what Trump means by making America great again is oppressing women, oppressing minorities, creating hate. Were not allowing him to run the world, even though he thinks he is.
I ask her how she feels she can make a difference personally. Mone takes a deep, considered breath and says calmly: Music is my weapon. I wont remain silent. Michelle Obama having been our First Lady for eight years set an example of how we need to be. We need to be visible and we need to be loud. Were not objects. For the first time during the interview, Mone shows more than a crack of emotion not much but enough to know that the sunglasses stay on for a reason.
Moonlight opens in the UK on 17 February
Read more: http://ift.tt/2jk9GDX
from Janelle Mone: I am the whole package
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