#even if you don't mean it that way you're still playing into it whether intentionally or not

[joyfuladorable]

If she'd stayed, she would've remained this, wouldn't she? Mindless & loyal & only to be of use to powers that didn't care for her. She Roars as she swings at these reduced versions of her former senseis. Tears stream down her mask. They took so many Fucking Years from her. Bastards.

Palette Challenge that I did last September that’s been sitting in my drafts. Decided to dust off the cobwebs and finally show it off!

The palette! (The theme was Violence :3c)

[animeyanderelover]

What would inuyasha be like as a yandere?

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, clinginess, abduction, death

Yandere Inuyasha Hc’s

🔴My god, the denial is strong with Inuyasha when it comes to his strong feelings he keeps in his heart for his darling. You can't fully blame him though. Shunned by humans and demons alike for his heritage and troubled past, he has about zero social interaction skills and is very wary. Inuyasha doesn't want to trust you for he fears that you'll push him away for his blood just like so many before you did. Why would he need you after all? He tries to play it down and intentionally acts mean to you. Does it work though? No. Instead his heart trembles after he's spit rude words at you and watches you walk away. Do you hate him? Will you leave him? Such intrusive thoughts trouble the half-demon through days and night yet he's also too proud to appear before you and apologize. It results in the possibly worst attempts to stalk you which always embarrass him as he just has to always say something in a loud and aggressive voice when he witnesses you spending time with someone else. He's so jealous!

🔴I'd say his strongest traits would be his very protective instincts, his very childish possessive streak and his jealousy. Inuyasha will always be around, whether in terrible disguises in order to stalk you or by really just trailing visibly behind you, yelling at you that he's free to go wherever he wants to go. He's not following you, you idiot! He's just walking into the same direction! He's acting like a brat most of the time but the moment he does sense something bad, he will fight with his teeth and claws to protect you. He's already lost enough in his life and protecting you becomes eventually a basic instinct. Whilst I see Sesshomaru being possessive in the sense of being downright territorial, Inuyasha shows a more 'harmless' way of being possessive. That is not to say that he can't act more scarily possessive in certain situations but most of the time he's just acting immature with his temper tantrums when you ignore him or don't want to see him in favor of meeting with someone else. Oh, he'll absolutely crash every activities of yours so he can be included.

🔴Inuyasha's jealousy is probably the part that will give you permanently headaches. Because he'd probably get into a brawl with everyone who does as much as looking at you for too long. Just imagine a dog who barks at anyone loudly until they're out of sight and you know what it's like being accompanied by Inuyasha. His childish demands to have you for himself really come through during such moments and if you think that he's been rude to you in the past, just wait until you hear him cussing and disrespecting at whoever irked him. The type to get into a physical fight if someone talks back, although he'd rarely really hurt someone. It's only to scare them away a bit. Literally will drag you away or even carry you away when his not existing patience is at an end. You always feel sharp nails dugging into the skin of your waist or hips before you're either dragged away or lifted up into his arms and he makes a run for it, still yelling at the person that this isn't settled yet.

🔴Inuyasha seems to value life a lot, surprising considering that most demons don't think too much about it. He is certainly someone prone to get into physical fights but most of the time those are evoked by his raging jealousy. That said he throws away all common sense if someone should ever dare to hurt you in which case he goes rather violent which can cause some serious damage to the culprit if he lets his feelings get the better of him. If someone seriously tries to kill you though? He completely loses it and maximum destruction will be achieved if he doesn't have his Tessaigan with him since his sheer wrath alone triggers his demonic blood to take over him. The aftermath is always terrible as he's destroyed in his sheer and suffocating anger the landscape around him and has torn the enemy to shreds, blood covering his hands and coating his mouth. You don't get away unscarred either as you end up getting injured in some way but Inuyasha, even in his full-fledged demon form that only wants to destroy, still makes sure that you're alive. Even in such a savage state, keeping you alive remains his core instinct.

🔴A part of me thinks that he wouldn't be fully willing to kidnap his darling since he probably has some common sense, especially if his darling has the happy family and life he never could have. Thinking about ripping that away from you has him recoiling a bit in disgust as this is a level he doesn't want to sink to. What happens far more often is that Inuyasha sometimes just whisks you away for his own purposes, specifically if he's feeling neglected or has noticed that you've spent very much time with someone else recently. He carries you somewhere away where you won't know the way back home and have to forcefully rely on him and I just know that he'll rub it into your face how you need to have him as your protector now. Considering that Inuyasha has never been someone who could hold back his emotions which oftentimes lead his actions. So it is likely that within the heat of a moment, he might grab you out of overwhelming anger and frustration and bring you somewhere far away from your original home. After he has calmed down a bit, he can't ignore the twinge of guilt but he's too proud to admit it.

🔴He's probably really acting like a dog at times, although he barely notices. Don't you even dare approach him reeking like someone else because it is disgusting. If he could have it his way, he'd burn the clothes right away. Scenting is a thing and whilst he doesn't calculate that humans don't have such enhanced senses as he has, it still satisfies a primal part of him. Your scent is also the one thing he will always detect even amongst a million other aromas. He loves it if you scratch him behind his ears, if you find the right spot his leg is actually stomping. He's instantly embarrassed about it as soon as he snaps out of it though. It's safe to assume that Inuyasha is constantly in a bad mood when other people are around since he sees everyone and everything as a threat that might steal your attention. Those feelings are harmless for the most part though. He usually avoids you during every new moon as he's too ashamed to be seen in his physically weakest state and it is likely that he doesn't even tell you and you have to find out by yourself.

[aikoiya]

I just do not understand the insistence that animals must be sentient.

Because if they were, then why are the animals that kill other animals not labeled as murderers?

Hell, why aren't cats seen as malicious, mini, jigsaw killers considering how they play with their food. Why aren't ewes looked upon with disgust for often trampling orphaned lambs that a farmer tries to get them to adopt? Why aren't wolves seen as bullies for hunting in packs to kill prey? Why aren't dolphins more acknowledged for being effing rapists?

If you believe that animals are capable of reasoning, then that automatically makes all animals that eat meat into exactly what humans that eat meat are, thus they should be looked upon with every bit as much scorn as certain vegans look upon regular ass people. And it'd also mean that any animal that hunts is a murderer.

Hell, many animals are cannibals! In fact, plenty even eat the young of other animals or even their own young if they're so much as lacking in B12!

Literally! Mother hamsters are known to eat her own babies if she's put on an all-corn diet! They don't even have to be dying because of it!

You can't claim that animals are all sentient & then not hold them responsible for their actions! That's hypocritical! Because if these animals are sentient, then they are making the active decision to commit these actions & should be held acountable for them! Period!

Seriously, unless an animal is specifically an obligate herbivore, they will likely still eat meat given the chance!

And, whether you like it or not, animals are only as vegan as their options. As soon as times get tough for a deer, it's gonna be eyeing up any little Tweeties or Thumpers they come across. Same with horses, sheep, ect.

In fact, if animals are as deserving of life & respect as us, then doesn't that make having pets the same as slavery? And how do cat owners even justify feeding their pets? At least those that force their cats into a vegan lifestyle are being consistent even though they're abusing the poor things. Those cats aren't gonna live to be 10 years old on a diet like that & they'll be miserable the whole time.

Like, how do people twist their brains into so many directions just to justify their lifestyles??

Seriously, humans are so freaking unique within the animal kingdom. We are probably the only creatures who would do all this nonsense for the sake of critters that honestly don't give an eff.

Like, dude, whatever. You don't wanna eat meat, then don't. No skin off my brow. More brisket for me! But don't moralize your choice & don't demonize those who love a delicious steak.

Here's what some don't seem to understand; those animals are gonna die anyway, whether it's by the hand of man, a predator animal, sickness, or old age. Their days are numbered no matter what. And, quite frequently, they'll still get eaten. So, in the end, what's the difference if a sheep is eaten by a human or a buzzard or a coyote?

You didn't save that sheep's life. You only postponed the inevitable. Because if you're not the one who eats it, then someone or something else will. You cannot stop it.

And it's likely going to hurt regardless, so saying shit like "anything to reduce at least a little bit of the pain in the world" is just pure naiveté. You haven't reduced the pain in the world even a little. And in fact, considering how a lot of animals don't even care if their food is all-the-way dead as they're eating them, you could even say that that animal might end up experiencing even more pain than if they'd been killed by a human.

And that isn't even taking into account sickness or accidents! How do you know that that animal's last moments won't be spent in complete misery or abject fear??

Because one of the things about humans is that, for the most part, we prefer our food dead-dead before we eat it. And we intentionally go out of our ways to make death as painless a transition as possible, even for the animals we're gonna eat.

If we're gonna keep it 100, ya'll. Humans can be some of the gentlest, most merciful killers on earth.

Hell, we have laws against animal cruelty!

And, the thing is, animals... don't. Period. In fact, most don't make it to old age.

So, in the end, your efforts were meaningless.

[password-door-lock]

“Boss,” you approach Unknown, obviously ready to complain to your heart's content. He knows this game very well by now, for all the times you've made him play it. Actually, when Unknown thinks about it, he supposes that you’ve never really been in any position to make him do anything. If he didn’t want to listen to you, then he wouldn’t have to. 

“What?” he spits, humoring you regardless of his disinterest in wherever you think this conversation is going. After all, sometimes your rambling turns out to be quite entertaining, and occasionally, you want to bring his attention to something which is actually relevant to his revenge. 

“I'm bored of working,” you announce, as if that means anything. “Do you wanna see how much I got done?” 

He narrows his eyes, making one final click before he resigns himself to stepping away from his revenge for a moment. It's annoying that you keep on distracting him— Unknown never expected this when he decided to keep you as his assistant. If he'd known you'd be so rowdy, maybe he wouldn't have held onto you this way, but as it is, he's kind of stuck with you. He can't send you back to where he got you from— even though he's fairly certain that you wouldn't intentionally breathe a word about him to anybody, there's always the possibility that those liars could find you and torture the answer out of you. After all, if the benevolent Savior is willing to try something like that on her believers, Unknown shudders to think about what sorts of things might go on in the world of the RFA. He can't cleanse you, either— with your general weakness and anxiety, which he doubts would be eliminated by the elixir of salvation, Unknown gets the feeling that you wouldn't last an hour as a believer. Ultimately, he has no choice but to keep you here.

Strangely, he finds he's more productive now that you force him to take these little breaks, as you call them— probably because he has to work even harder to catch up in between, but more productive is more productive. Unknown would do anything to be able to bring that redhead to ruin faster, though that doesn’t mean he’s pleased to be wasting his time on something so inane as your fragile feelings. 

“You're bored?” He coos, continuing to humor you. Inane or not, those feelings of yours are fun to play with.“Oh, you poor thing. Then come here, and I'll make it better, hm?” Unknown turns to face you now, making sure that you get a good look at his wolfish grin. 

You must know that it's a trap. You're probably not the smartest person in the world, but Unknown is familiar enough with you by now to know that you’re nowhere near as foolish as he initially expected you to be. “Mmm,” you hum, slipping into his embrace and clinging to him like you actually think you're going to get anything out of this. Maybe Unknown should consider revising his assessment of your intelligence, after all. Or maybe... you know it's a trap, but you like it anyway. Strange. “Thank you.” You really sound like you mean that, like you actually think that Unknown is going to let you off the hook so easily. He saved you specifically so that you could help him with his work, and you don’t get to quit on him just because you’re sick of it. 

Now that he has you in close proximity, Unknown leans in to whisper in your ear, “You don't get to be bored of working, cutie. Since you can't do it on your own, I guess you can just help me with my task instead, hm? What a handful you are.” He feels you smile against his chest, and, not for the first time, Unknown wonders whether he is actually the one in control.

“You want me to just look at the screen?” You ask, clearly trying to restrain your excitement. You really are strange, if that’s something you’re looking forward to. 

“Yes,” Unknown replies, “Turn around and look at the screen.” You do as you’re told, and Unknown feels relieved. He’s still the only one in charge here— of course he is, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

[wtftarot]

PAC: The Moon

The Moon is my all-time favorite card. Representing all that is unknown, she calls us to embrace what we don't know. Accept that some things will never be explained in a way our conscious minds can grasp. The unconscious, the truths and illusions it holds. The often hazy way our intuition and instincts work. She is a mirror, reflecting back at us our longings and fears. What does The Moon have to tell you? Let's fuck around and find out!

as always this reading is for entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional advice in any capacity. Remember, use common sense, and don't be a dumbass.

Pick either the Dog, the Crab/Lobster? or the Wolf and head on to your reading.

The Dog

Your cards: 8 Cups Rx, Temperance Rx, 5 Wands Rx, 9 Wands, Page of Pentacles Rx, The Star, The Emperor Rx, Queen of Swords, The Moon, and the back of the deck is The Devil Rx.

The number 8 might be important to y'all. Are y'all like REALLY self-controlled? Self-contained, I'm hearing? What I think that means is y'all do your best to keep yourself, the true YOU, restrained for whatever reason. I'm getting that some of y'all may be neurodivergent. Hold on, Rainbow in the Dark by Dio started playing, so not to be too on the nose but some of y'all are LGBT+. Whether one or both of those are you or not, this whole group has a MAJOR issue expressing themselves authentically. With Temperance in reverse it's like you intentionally make yourself 'unbalanced' in a way, to avoid conflict big or small. And there's this vibe of "when x situation is over, I'll be the real me." In some situations, that could be true. Leaving controlling parents when you go to college for example. But, if you came to this group, I don't think that's your situation. At least not entirely. Holy fuck, a dove just flew by my window and scared the shit out of me. So, doves may be a sign for y'all. Anyway. It looks like, if you came to this group. You have restrained yourself to the point of atrophy. You've been held back. Held yourself back from being You, that you're not even sure who that is. You think that once this situation exits your life, you'll just suddenly be that person. That person you want to be and feel you are deep down. The person you've always imagined yourself to be. Thing is sweetheart, who you are isn't just a jacket you can put on when you feel the time is right. You're not just a switch you can flick and become yourself. You have to grow who you are/ want to be. You have to build yourself up. Even Dr. Frakenstein had to build the creature before he could hit the switch and scream 'It's ALIVE!" (Not that I'm saying you're a creature or anything. unless you want to be, you do you.) Actually, that may be a better analogy than I thought. You have to dig up the parts of you that you buried, hopefully not in a graveyard. Put them together, see what still fits, see what doesn't. You may need to find some new parts where the old ones don't fit anymore. You build yourself by trying out the things you think you'll be into, and experimenting like a mad scientist. Try new things out, keep what works, scrap what doesn't. I'm not seeing anything about it being dangerous for you to try to be fully you. More so there's a fear of what others will think. ( I don't know every situation though, keep yourself safe) Y'all may have always just been what was expected of you, never really thinking if it was something you genuinely wanted. I think the reason why Frankenstein came up so strongly is that y'all feel like this horrible, awkward, ugly thing when you do something new to you. Y'all may not start something if you think you'll be bad at it. Y'all could be incredibly critical of yourselves. Not gonna lie to ya babe. You will be bad at some things. You will try things you thought you would love and end up hating them. You'll love things you'd thought you would hate. You will be wrong and sometimes that's a good thing. Winning is no fun if you don't lose too. The losing is what makes the winning worth it. And honey, you have an amazing opportunity here: You get to discover who YOU really are. You're going to get to learn so much shit about yourself and it's going to be beautiful. The Moon is telling you all of this, all of that hidden beauty you're unaware of is going to come to light. So, let yourself go a lil wild. And I don't mean the stereotypical wild that you see everywhere. I mean wild FOR YOU. It's okay if wild experimentation for you is joining a book club. Hell, if the stereotypical wild is your normal, maybe spending some time with yourself is experimental. Listen to music you never thought you'd be into. Wear something that's a little 'too much'. It's all okay. You can stop cutting yourself down to whatever size you feel you 'should' be. I believe in y'all.

The Crab/Lobster

Your cards are: 4 Wands, 4 Swords, Judgement, 2 Pentacles Rx, 5 Pentacles, and on the bottom of the deck the 2 of Swords.

Sweetheart, this one may be a little intense, okay? First off y'all need a nap or at least a break. You're overworked and the thing is y'all are comfortable being overworked. And now you're like 'Ash, this ain't comfortable at all wtf'. Let me explain. Humans are extremely adaptable, we can get used to pretty much anything. Downside of that is when you get too used to something, it becomes familiar, safe, and yes even comfortable. We've all seen it, we've all done it. There's no shame in being human. However, just because you shouldn't feel ashamed of it doesn't mean you shouldn't try and fix it. Cause all of y'all are in a situation like this. Maybe it's not work-related, could be school or a relationship. Could just be a cycle or pattern that you keep repeating and can't figure out why. Now I want to be clear here. I am not saying whatever this is, is your fault. Some situations we're responsible for, and some we get pushed into. Some cycles are generations in the making, and some are our own shitty habits. That's life. This reading is to shift your attention to these patterns so we can break them and do better. I feel like y'all may have an inkling about what this pattern is. I think it's been coming into your awareness over the past few weeks or months. All of y'all are different and will have different cycles to break. So, I can't get any specifics. You're in a sort of awakening moment it seems. (Funny cause the first thing I said was that y'all need a nap) This cycle is going to become painful in a way. You're outgrowing it. It's going to become clear how harmful this has been for you. There's going to be a bit of grieving happening as you realize this. The kind of grief that comes with the knowledge of all the ways you've held yourself down, hurt yourself, and held yourself back. The grief of knowing you deserved better. You'll need to let yourself grieve but not get lost in it. Because while that's important, it's the next bit that's going to get you the farthest. You get to break the pattern. Unlearn the cycles. You get to move into a new part of your life that's not familiar but that's fun. Enjoyable and not just comfortable but decadent. It'll be hard at first to break the pattern. (that's why you need to rest now, not later) Our brains are wired for repetition but soon breaking the pattern will be the pattern. I'm so, so proud of y'all, group two. It's going to be beautiful where y'all go from here.

The Wolf

your cards are: 6 Cups Rx, 8 Swords, 5 Swords, The Moon Rx, The High Priestess, 7 Wands and the back of the deck is The Queen of Wands

How are my fighters doing? Cause y'all pulling the cards for this one was ROUGH. Usually, that means the reading is something you don't wanna hear or you already know and are fighting off. What's interesting is the whole time I was shuffling I knew the High Priestess was going to come out for y'all and she kept peeking out and hiding again. Cards kept flying out all over the place, I'm talking a shit ton would fall out at once I'd put them back and it would happen again. But The High Priestess didn't come out at all until I was finally able to pull an actual reading. What it felt like was that y'all have all these ideas of how this reading will go, ideas of what you need to hear, what you expect to get. You're actually drowning out your actual intuition. You may also have daydreams or fantasies about how your intuition will work, and what you'll see. I think you may be so deep in these daydreams at times that you're disconnected from your surroundings and even when you are getting something psychically, it can't get through to you. For some of you, it's not daydreaming as much as overthinking. Either way, y'all are a bit in your own head and it's distracting you from your intuitive gifts. Which of course is going to make you doubt them even more. Babe, I'm sorry if this is a little harsh. You just seem to be beating yourself up a bit for not being as good as you think you should be. I'm hearing these sort of self-criticisms about how you should be a 'better' intuitive? That you're not a 'real' intuitive, not a 'real' tarot reader, not a 'real' psychic, not a 'real' whatever because oh you should be able to do this or that and you can't so it's not real. Or you don't have intuitive hits daily so you're faking it all. Or you're not clairvoyant/clairaudient/clairsentient soo you'll never be a real psychic. Ya wanna know what that is? That's just a bunch of bullshit, right there. Let me tell y'all a lil something. First off EVERYONE is psychic/intuitive to some degree. Even if they only can remember having one intuitive hit and that's it. Now, not everyone has the same gifts, or psychic skills if you will. Not every psychic/intuitive will talk to the dead. Not all of us will be clairvoyant. Some psychics are clairvoyant but can't read tarot to save their life. Some people have multiple gifts, others have one. Some gifts are random but are not any less for it. For example, my sister knows when something we've been looking for is at a thrift store, she knows which one and where in the store it is and will walk right to it. It's awesome. Being 'more psychic' ain't all it's made out to be anyway. Believe me, it can be wonderful but it's also rough. I know a few really 'strong' psychics who have intentionally cut themselves off from their gifts because of things they've experienced. I myself have come close. All of that to say, you are a 'real' intuitive. Promise. You don't have to push yourself into something you're not sure about to be more 'legit'. You don't have to have all the skills, all the gifts, to be proud of what you can do. What you do have to do is stop fantasizing about it and actually BE it. Stop worrying about all you can't do and really hone what you CAN. We all have different gifts because the world needs all different things. Your gifts are yours for a reason, because you, specifically can add something to the world with it. Now, there's another message here maybe just for one person: It's your choice to embrace these gifts or not. If you do not feel comfortable with them you can let them go, it's okay. You're not ungrateful or doomed if you don't utilize them. Like I said, these sorts of gifts can be rough, and downright horrifying. It's okay to want something easier. And yes, you will be able to lead a fulfilling life without them.

[rubylace]

✮꙳ 𓂃 𓂂𓏸M A N A G I N G E N H Y P E N

genre! idol, silence of life

pairing! sunghoon x head manager reader ft. jake, riki

synopsis! you're the manager of a popular group who entrusted to you, you think your worry is just looking for their busy schedule for every months but it's more than that

-masterlist-

introverted sunghoon

Sunghoon, known for his quiet demeanor and thoughtful nature, was a member who often kept to himself.

Being a former figure skater, he was used to being under the spotlight and constantly judged. This, coupled with his past experiences, made him more reserved and conscious of other people's opinions.

During a group discussion, you noticed Sunghoon holding back. He seemed to have something to say, but he hesitated, choosing to stay silent instead.

"Sunghoon," you approached him later, "I noticed you were quiet during the discussion, Is there something on your mind?"

Sunghoon looked at you, his eyes reflecting his inner turmoil. "...I had some ideas," he confessed, "but I wasn't sure if they were good enough."

You understood his feelings. The fear of judgement, the fear of not being good enough, was something Sunghoon had been dealing with since his childhood.

"Sunghoon," you said gently, "your ideas are valuable. Don't let the fear of judgement hold you back. You're a part of Enhypen, and your opinions matter."

Sunghoon seemed to ponder your words. "I.. I'm try" he said, a small smile playing on his lips.

True to his word, Sunghoon started to open up more. He shared his ideas during group discussions, contributed to their choreography, and even suggested concepts for their music videos,

His ideas were creative and unique, adding a new dimension to their performances,

The members appreciated Sunghoon's contributions. "Sunghoon, your ideas are amazing." Heeseung told him one day, his voice filled with admiration.

Sunghoon looked at you, his eyes gleaming with gratitude. "Thank you," he said, "for encouraging me to express myself."

Jay and Jake, fondly known as 02z due to their shared birth year, played a significant role in helping Sunghoon open up

They made it a point to include him in their activities and conversations, making him feel comfortable and valued.

Whether it was late-night gaming sessions, impromptu dance-offs, or simply hanging out in their dorm, Jay and Jake always made sure Sunghoon was a part of it.

Their easy-going nature and genuine friendship helped Sunghoon come out of his shell.

During the filming of an Enhypen reality show, Sunghoon surprised everyone by suggesting a fun game.

His idea was met with enthusiastic approval, and the episode turned out to be a hit among the fans.

"Sunghoon, that was a great idea!" Jake exclaimed, high-fiving him.

Jay nodded in agreement. "You should suggest more games, Sunghoon. You're really good at it."

Sunghoon looked at you, a proud smile on his face. "I guess I'm getting better at this," he said.

And he was. Sunghoon became more active in Enhypen's content, often suggesting ideas and participating enthusiastically.

His quiet demeanor was still there, but now it wasvaccompanied by a newfound confidence. A sense of unease began to creep into the group when the other members noticed Sunghoon's close bond with Jay and Jake.

They felt a pang of exclusion, thinking that Sunghoon was only interested in being friends with Jay and Jake.

Riki voiced his feelings. "Sunghoon hyung, you're always with Jay and Jake," he said, his voice tinged with disappointment. "Don't you want to hang out with us too?"

Sunghoon looked surprised and a little hurt. "It didn't mean to make you feel that way," he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

As their manager, you decided to step in. "Guys, think there's a misunderstanding."

You cleared, addressing the group. "Sunghoon isn't intentionally excluding anyone. It's just that he's a bit more comfortable with Jay and Jake. But that doesn't mean he values their friendship more. It was only because they were the ones to put him at ease in the first place"

Turning to Sunghoon, you said, "Sunghoon, maybe you could make an effort to spend more time with the other members as well. They would really appreciate it."

"Ah, I'm sorry, I had a bad thought", Jungwon said regretfully.

"It's okay, the most important thing is that your assumption is not true." Those words made everyone smile.

Who would have thought Sunghoon could say such calming words.

Sunghoon took your advice to heart. Over the next few weeks, he made a conscious effort to spend more time with the other members.

Whether it was practicing dance routines with Heeseung, helping Jungwon with leadership tasks, or simply chatting with Sunoo and Riki, Sunghoon made sure to involve everyone.

The members realized that Sunghoon cared for all of them equally. His actions showed them that he valued their friendship.

You felt a sense of relief and pride. Despite the misunderstanding, the members had managed to communicate their feelings and resolve their issues.

He had not only opened up more but also strengthened his bond with each member.

Over time, the bond between Sunghoon and the other members strengthened. They started to understand him better, realizing that his quiet demeanor was not a sign of disinterest but simply his way of processing things.

Sunghoon, on the other hand, made a conscious effort to open up more, sharing his thoughts and feelings with the rest of the group.

After a performance at Music Bank, Sunghoon surprised everyone by suggesting they all go out for ice cream, a treat he seldom indulged in.

The members were pleasantly surprised and readily agreed.

They sat in the ice cream parlor, laughing and sharing stories, you couldn't help but notice the change in Sunghoon,

He seemed more relaxed, more open. He was not just participating in the conversation but also initiating topics. Seeing this, you felt a sense of pride. "Sunghoon, it's good to see you like this," you told him. "You've come a long way."

Sunghoon gave you a shy smile. "Thanks to you and the members," he said. "I feel more comfortable expressing myself now."

He had overcome his insecurities and was now an integral part of the group, not just as a member, but also as a friend.

[animehouse-moe]

Undead Unluck Episode 4: Do You Love The Change In Me?

You know, I was so ready to talk about the episode in terms of stuff like the extension of the SHAFT-style focus on eyes to things like Gena's hands and the incredible lighting and whatnot, but I mean, this just sort of takes the cake. Truly insane work that just threw all other thoughts out of my mind. Save for a select few though, which I'll detail below.

It was really interesting to find out during the episode about Gena requiring space to walk in her Unchange. Truthfully, it wasn't even something I factored into my theory that Gena was unchange, so very cool to see that. That said, I did clue into the fact that Gena was barefoot pretty early on this episode. Obviously, I didn't get the answer right away, but I still felt that something was up.

More interesting than that though, and really the main thought that remains in my mind is two things Gena mentioned.

The first is 'Rules', with an intentionally capital R. If I'm not mistaken Andy mentions rules (lowercase r) when explaining himself when he meets Fuuko.

That's all to say that we now have three categories given to us in this world: Negators, UMAs, and Rules.

If I were to take a stab at the order/hierarchy, I'd say that following the anime's order of events makes the most sense. That being that Negators are at the bottom, UMAs are in the middle, and Rules are at the top. Whether or not Rules are an animate or living thing in "this world" though I'm unsure of. What I am sure of is that they can change, which is very interesting.

Also, the "this world" thing. Maybe I'm reading too far into the idea of time travel or looping, but the grammar and use of it makes me feel weird.

You say "change the world", not "change this world". There's a few cases where you can reference the world via "this", but in all examples you're placing the world within a temporal boundary.

For example, "Change this world we live in". You are referencing the world in the present that you exist.

But yeah, maybe I'm just crazy because I've been told nothing's really wasted, but it just feels like another piece slotting into place with the idea of looping.

At the same time though, Gena's death certainly feels like the best "catalyst" for a doomsday clock. I mean, Unchange died? Just sorta on the nose I feel, but it makes me wonder what happens when a Negator dies.

Is there a cooldown before the ability is passed onto someone? They have to be passed on somehow because there's no way you get to the modern day with Negators unless negations are transferred/maintained within humanity..... that is, unless the time loop doesn't simulate the entirety of the world and instead it's actually like a sort of death game where people are giving negations at the beginning of the loop and once they die that negation is out of play for the rest of the loop. But then that also means that Negations were introduced artificially in the world, meaning there's someone that's able to do that. Would that include someone that created these rules for humanity? Did they create the UMAs as well? You might argue that UMAs could have been created by the presence of Negators as they mess with the rules of the universe, but considering the (proposed) hierarchy, it seems more likely that UMA would be formed by Rules, no? But then they would be animals or creatures, and the system for creating UMAs would be somewhat arbitrary. Unless that is, that Negators are the direct will of a Rule and that inherent connection creates the existence of a UMA within that system. But we don't have any UMAs to confirm if they have an existing counterpart as a Negator, or if there can even be a connection made between Negators and Rules in the first place.

But yeah, bit a mind boggler episode if you think about theory as you bounce around from a million places all at once. One wrong assumption causes the whole pile to collapse, and I think that makes wondering about theory incredibly fun and interesting. So much potential and so many option, but only one route will get you to the truth.

Really great Undead Unluck episode once more (I'm just begging David Pro hurries it up and we get out the other side of this crass sexual humor, put a real damper on the middle-ish of the episode where it appeared).

[onewomancitadel]

There's very real evidence of V9 being compromised through external interference - that is, we categorically know the volume was shorter than usual (this is not speculation) - and I think it is on those grounds not unwise to cast a similar assumption about what they decided to include versus what they decided to exclude versus past assumptions you can made about narrative intentions earlier in the show. It's undeniable RWBY evolved after its creator passed - I don't think anybody is disputing that - but my thesis is generally that the really big things generally contended by certain segments of the audience being spontaneous invention are not so (and besides you can't really say what the show would or wouldn't have become).

I think you can equally say romantic ship baiting with Blake-Sun was both a product of trying to hedge interest (audiences love partisan shipping) as well as toying with expectations (for good or ill). This is the same thought I applied to the Jaune-Weiss interactions in V9 (particularly coupled with the retread of Jaune getting what he wanted in early Beacon era and it not being what he wants) but there is the very real thought that the out-of-nowhereness of Jaune/Weiss in V9 - whether you think WK is a canon ship or not means absolutely nothing to me, I am judging by material content in which there had been literally nothing for years, and what little there had been was never acknowledged - was specifically included to draw back a Beacon era audience. I don't know whether this means the narrative intentions of the show are fundamentally compromised in some way, that is, whatever they were setting up before has been exchanged for whatever seems like might draw audiences in.

I really did think a Blake/Yang kiss would be a turning point in the story, that is it's going to be the first True Love's Kiss, but I think it's telling that a chief complaint about the show through V8 was that they had not kissed yet. If it were both going to potentially be the last volume made and they were trying to please a captive audience, that's pretty much how you do it. That's not to say I thought the kiss was out of place but if I am casting a critical eye of what they did or didn't include I am thinking about, say, the first four meandering episodes of hijinks which weren't relief from V8 but instead a complete tonal sharp left to the point it felt like they were embarrassed about where they had left off. All tension had completely been gutted from the story. If you're trying to attract an audience who enjoy friendship and hijinks, then, well, viewer retention is strongest at the beginning and end of a volume, then you pepper in elements at the midpoint to make people talk (twist, shipbait, kiss).

I have remarked on this recently but it felt like there were two Volume 9s happening at the same time. It felt chimaeric and probably suggestive of intensive rewrites and compromises. One is the thread of Ruby-Jaune disillusionment/Summer Rose/Raven/Meeting with the Goddess story and then the other is team RWBY camp. These didn't feel like blended elements - which I think the show can successfully do. The question is whether you can then leap to assume that this was cynically intentioned. I think the very likely possibility is that it was, because you can still write an enjoyable team narrative without tapping into something twee. The stakes in the story were compromised and it didn't make up for the fact it was divorced from the material plot in Remnant (even if it did reprise the cosmic Ozlem plot later) because up until Jaune joins the narrative again, Ruby's slow meltdown in the background is almost entirely shrouded and the conflict with her team is essentially absent until EP6. Had the writing been stronger with her team, the issue of her isolation wouldn't be as much of a problem, because I imagine that was very intentionally meant to play off of the Cinder-Salem empathetic experience.

Point being is that I cast scrutiny on V9 much more than I did before (when I had begun to assume I was just plain wrong about the show) and if the show gets renewed then I am still going to be doubtful. The decisions they made with V9 didn't work. The shorter volumes and compromised denouement didn't work (why are streaming services so dumb? If you cut funding for the ending of course people aren't going to give a fucking shit). Nobody cares enough about Jaune-Weiss shipbaiting to support the show - in fact I'd say I don't think there is any ship fanbase whom you ever ought to cater to, or is significant enough to compromise your story over. Anybody who says otherwise is delusional. The casual audience who cares about romance is significant but it's not enough to make them support new shows, and more importantly us fanatics are in the minority, and of us fanatics, we're divided as it is. If they get to make V10, are we going to see RWBY-RWBY or are we going to see 'please watch our show' RWBY? The issue is that the landscape of funding shows is so different now and so is RT's general funding offset for the show, so we're not talking about the same thing anymore that we were around V3-V4 era.

I personally do not want to watch 'please watch our show' RWBY. I want to watch RWBY-RWBY, and yes, I realise this is the plea of the aggrieved RWBY fan. I know, when V3 came out, the fighting scenes were different. But the writing was not compromised because it was the same writers working on the show with Monty and his ideas were embedded into the show. Maybe he understood Jung better than some of them, I don't know and I can't say. But I have generally contended that the implicit tone of the show and flagged ending is heavily dependent on its conscious draw from the monomyth. Maybe, yes, these issues apparent with V9 go back. V6 had lampshading about 'staying in the house'. There are in-jokes in the show of mentioning ship names fans came up with. But I don't think at any point I would say that they have specifically compromised major narrative beats or overall character dynamics to poach an audience. I roll my eyes at these points, but because I am a tolerant and judicious dictator, I mostly forgive it.

Further, I personally did not enjoy a lot of V9. There were moments of greatness (Ruby, Jaune, Summer, Raven) which was the show I recognised. I genuinely, ecstatically love V8 and will often find myself going back to watch an episode and then have to sit down for the whole volume again. I don't mean 'wow I love this character or that or this particular moment', I mean I think V8 is genuinely very, very good, and I love it as a complete narrative product. So then what am I do to about V10? Because at this point, if the show even gets renewed, do I sit down for another V9? Is all my previous speculation mostly for naught?

It depends whether you take what was shown at RTX last year as canon (I would personally) if it opens V10, because in that case #raven anabasis theory, at least the fundamental point - Raven returns, redeems herself, with the children - then that is a major narrative beat I was correct about. I was correct that Raven was the last person who saw Summer before her disappearance and the general tenor of their relationship was exactly how I had envisioned it in my head. I was correct that the brother gods were not the ultimate authority, and, it is a reasonable interpretation that it was a benevolent Goddess who made them (the metalworker), especially if that fits the Meeting with the Goddess Heroine's Journey step.

My point being I am genuinely conflicted at this point, and my conflict will not resolve until there is the promise of renewal and the show is made and I can reasonably interpret it. I would like it to be good - I would like it to demonstrate V8 excellence, actually. My only hope is that they can see decisions made in V9, if they were made for the reasons that I think they were, simply did not work - CR has not yet renewed the show.

[stargazer-sims]

15 OC Questions!

I was tagged by the lovely @rebelangelsims (twice! But I'll happily do two of these!) I love this type of ask, where the character gets to answer the questions in their own words. It's a great way to improve (or create) narrative voice, and I love the challenge of making it sound convincing, as if the character really is answering it themselves.

Victor Okamoto-Nelson

Are you named after anyone?

Actually, yeah. I’m named after my mom. Her real first name is Victoria, which a lot of people don’t know because she’s always gone by her middle name, Grace. Anyway, if I’d been a girl, I would’ve been Victoria too, but I turned out to be a boy, so I’m Victor instead.

I'm also named after my dad, Thomas Edward Nelson. Thomas and Edward are my two middle names. I lost my dad when I was six, and it’s always meant a lot to me that I have his names because it's like I'm carrying a part of him with me no matter where I go.

When was the last time you cried?

Oh. Uhh… yesterday? I cry pretty easily, and it doesn’t take much. Yuri, my husband, likes to joke that I cry for everything, and he’s kinda not wrong. I mean, it’s not always full-on sobbing. In fact, it’s mostly not, but getting teary-eyed is still technically crying, so… yeah. I guess I’m soft, or I’m not very good at masking my emotions, or something.

Do you have kids?

No. Yuri and I don’t want any. We’re enough for each other.

Do you use sarcasm?

Not really? I think you have to be smarter than I am to use it effectively. Plus, sometimes it’s just confusing. And also, it sometimes feels kind of mean to answer people with sarcasm.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their physical condition. Like, if they look healthy or not, whether they’re fit or not and if they’re moving and talking and breathing comfortably. I know that’s probably weird, but it’s something I really pay attention to.

What’s your eye colour?

Blue. They're almost the exact same shade as my mom's. Someone once described them as 'oceanic blue' and even though I've seen the ocean before, I never really saw why that person made that comparison until I visited Sulani for the first time. Mine and my mom's eyes aren't just oceanic blue. They're Sulani ocean blue.

Scary movies or happy endings?

I don’t like movies that are seriously, intentionally meant to scare people. I enjoy some of the more campy horror movies, but I don’t want to see anything that’s gonna give me nightmares. Yuri also doesn’t like scary movies, so I never have to worry about sitting through one for him either. We both prefer happy endings, or at least endings where most — or even better, all — of the characters are still alive.

Any special talents?

I don't think so? I'm super awesome at snowboarding, but I don't think that's what you're asking. Yuri says I give really good massages. Is that a special talent?

Where were you born?

Willow Creek

What are your hobbies?

Snowboarding? Oh, you mean other than my obsession, right? I love cooking and baking. Is that a hobby? I like fishing, gardening and playing video games. Dog training is probably a hobby, right? I really enjoy working with the dogs.

Have you any pets?

Yes, we have two dogs. Rosie is a smooth-coated chihuahua, and Sango is a Pomeranian. When we move to our new house, Yuri wants to have chickens and maybe a cat.

What sports do you play/have played?

All the sports! Seriously, I haven't yet found a sport that I'm not good at. I love all kinds of sports and I've played a lot of different ones. My favourites are soccer, swimming, and of course snowboarding. Not to brag or anything, but I'm a world-class competitive snowboarder. Like, I mean... shredding is life. If I couldn't be on the mountain, I think I'd be super depressed, because that's one of the things that makes me feel most alive.

How tall are you?

187cm

Favourite subject in school?

Physical Education. I wasn't really that great in any academic subjects, but I liked P.E. a lot and I also liked Home Economics.

Dream job?

This is a hard one, because I think I have more than one option for my dream job. Like, my current job as a wellness coach and personal trainer is amazing. I love helping people reach their health and wellness goals. and I'm really happy doing this. But, even when I was in college, doing my diploma program in Health and Wellness Management, I was still thinking about my future career. I thought I'd like to be either a physical therapist or a nurse. These days, I'm leaning more towards licensed practical nursing, and maybe specializing in home health care. I think I'd be good at that.

______

I'll tag: @holocene-sims @theageofsims @ljfoxie @cawthorntales @dandylion240 (I know you've already done this) and @blithesomebawcock

Feel free to ignore this if you've already done it or don't want to. <3

[esther-dot]

I know, I KNOW that I should just block some tags (now that I'm thinking of it, I swear I'll do it), BUT it really annoys me how antis blatantly lie about what we say. "Jonsas believe that Jon saying that Winterfell belongs to her means that he's in love with her. But Jon couldn't care less about Sansa, he didn't even care she was forcefully married to Tyrion 🤪🤪🤪". Uhmm, no? That's literally not true? No one says that Jon defended Sansa's right to WF because he is in love with her, wtf. The majority of the fandom believes they will fall in love, not that they're already in love. And the pre-canon crush theory, while highly entertaining, is not that serious or accepted by the fandom. Even those who believe in it see it as an unconscious/innocent thing. We see that is curious how Sansa thinks about how no one would want her for love but for Winterfell only for Jon to reject it in her favour. It's curious from a storytelling pov. It doesn't mean we believe Jon denied his deepest desire because the great romantic love he felt for Sansa. Also, the way they're willing to make Jon a jerk just to go against jonsa will never cease to amuse me. Anyway we're not the ones thinking that a boy missing/thinking/wanting to protect his 9-year-old sister means that he's in love with her. They literally talk about Jon comparing Ygritte's body to his sister's as if he was already sexually attracted to her. A little bit of self-awareness wouldn't hurt.

Oh, I have all the tags filtered and somehow I still have seen that take! And like you, I have never seen a Jonsa argue that he did that because he was in love with Sansa. In fact, I think it is entirely about his conscience, his feelings that it would be wrong for him to take from the Starks, and it makes his refusal more poignant that he's denying himself his greatest wish for a person he doesn't have a particularly strong bond with.

I think it's just the nature of fandom (or at least, this fandom, since we have no new material forthcoming) to focus too much on fellow fans rather than the content we're all fans of. I mean, I'm a fan of the Sansa/Jonsa fandom, we're all kinda mutual fans of each other, so in that way, I am focused on the fandom, but I mean being irritated with people who disagree and allowing our annoyance to interfere with reading thoughtfully/clear thinking.

It takes more effort and maturity to engage with what someone is actually saying rather than straw manning their arguments, putting words in their mouth etc, but whether it’s this fandom or simply internet culture, I see that a lot. People really want to feel superior so they go the easy route when it comes to taking others down a peg. Instead of creating their own theories or engaging in a supportive way with people they agree with, they lash out. Anyway, since we're a worldwide fandom I try to really understand what the person's point is rather than getting too carried away in inferring tone or focusing on a single word (cultural/language differences might play a factor in how we interpret what is written or in how we express ourselves), but I've seen enough of the takes you're talking about to know that antis willfully misinterpret what we say and intentionally lie about us to ostracize Jonsas.

As for this:

We see that is curious how Sansa thinks about how no one would want her for love but for Winterfell only for Jon to reject it in her favour.

I think that's something that if the fandom wasn't so terrified of Jonsa, they'd see as really intriguing, especially when Sansa has wished for a hero to do a specific deed for her and Jon does it. As in, even if they don't think the two will fall in love, the author is presenting Jon as Sansa's hero/the kind of man she no longer thinks exists. That doesn't automatically mean they will enter into a romantic relationship, someone could argue that is Martin indicating to the reader that Jon is like a hero out of the songs, that he's using this to contrast Jon with other characters who would use Sansa and/or have failed her... There are lots of interesting readings you can do on those moments, but the fear of Jonsa means having to downplay some of Jon's goodness and depth, it seems.

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

What are your personal opinion about queerbaiting in anime/manga? Sorry for the random ask...It's just that most of my otps are of 2 male anime/manga characters that describes as bff/ rivals/ enemies that don't have any romantic relationships.....Even after I watched/read BL anime/manga, I still ship more of them that canonly are not a couple....Is that weird?

First of all, it's fandom! Be weird, that's practically what it's for! But I think this is pretty common actually. I know I certainly relate to it.

(I apologize in advance for how little anime I'm going to specifically mention here; Moriarty the Patriot is really my biggest foray back into the genre after a like 8-10 year break from being an otaku. I'm still catching up lol.)

I define queerbaiting (and I think this IS the definition) as a situation where the creators of a piece of fiction have realized that their media is appealing to queer people, and have decided to capitalize on that interest without any intention of actually letting a queer story happen. So, Destiel for example is 100% queerbaiting: (many of) the writers dragged that out very intentionally while also being disdainful of and seemingly grossed out by their queer audience. They just wanted to see how much money they could milk from it.

On the far opposite side is something like Our Flag Means Death, which is like a love letter to queer audiences and has queer people on the creative team and is just generally a joy.

In between, you have things like Good Omens or Hannibal, that maybe weren't setting out to be queer stories, but embraced the love from that community and allowed that element to grow within the series. The anecdotal story about Hannibal; that Bryan Fuller as a gay man was actually setting out to explore straight male friendships that he didn't feel like he could entirely access himself, only to have the chemistry between the leads shift the story, is something I really love (regardless of whether it's entirely true.) THAT is the kind of romance story-telling I want to see; something organic played out between writers and actors and audience. A living thing, rather than a set-in-stone script.

So, bringing that back to anime/manga, and using the series I'm most obsessed with, I think SherLiam is a bit of that. They've been very clearly fitting into romance tropes right from the get-go, but I also would not be surprised at all if our Senseis were responding to positive feedback from fans as they keep letting it get gayer and gayer. Though I have zero expectations of the words "I love you" or of an on-page kiss (and frankly I like what we have gotten better), nothing about it feels like a loveless manipulative money-grab. It feels like, "we like this, the fans like this, so we're gonna let it be as much a romance as it can be within the confines of the magazine it's published in."

In a more general way though, I totally agree with shipping not-quite canon couples above couples in things that are strictly romances, whether straight or gay. If you're watching a romantic movie or reading a BL manga, the ending is a foregone conclusion. You know they're gonna get together. And quite often sex is brought in very early.

Personally, I prefer a genuine will they/won't they. I like not knowing. And I like a couple to get really deeply emotionally intimate before sex factors in. So slowburns and things that never really become canon, or become canon right at the end, really work for me. There's always fanfiction if things aren't resolved the way we want, and in the meantime I can enjoy seeing a pair truly get to know each other in a way that most couples who only get an hour and a half of screentime or a few episodes just don't. I'll take 100 chapters of pining with no resolution over a couple hopping in bed after 45 minutes on screen.

[demonsfate]

Victor's design is cool AF but my god is the sword a bit too much for Tekken, and I LOVE sword/katana wielders. Like I can see why people are saying he's a Noctis replacement, and let's not even talk about his teleporting deal. Some people on 4ch are debating whether Reina will be a Heihachi/Kazumi hybrid without electrics. I also feel like people are expecting too much from her character, but who knows. We will see her soon either way

I actually LOVE Victor's design. I dunno why, but I just have a feeling he's gonna be the best designed Tek8 newcomer. (I have no hopes for Reina LOL) But while I'll get into the "anime" stuff soon into Tekken. I wanna note the reason why it's throwing you off is because when you look at characters like Azazel, you're not surprised by its abilities because it matches its stupid purple chicken design. Victor looks like almost a relatively normal guy, so seeing HIM pull off these crazy cybernetic moves is unpredictable and doesn't match the design. Which may have been intentionally, they may have wanted to subvert expectations. But I'm personally not the biggest fan of it.

And I think I'll take this opportunity to really talk about Tekken and its story, how it changed. Because I'd rather just make one post rather than making a short response agreeing with you, and then doing a follow up! So feel free to read beyond this point or not. :) See... most fans do agree that Tekken 6 is when the game took a turn and became Very Anime. That was the start, and that's another reason why many people are critical of Tek6 beyond its depiction of certain characters. Hence why Azazel came to your mind.

But I actually think Tekken 5 is when the game began developing theses symptoms. Jinpachi was leaning toward "too much," characters that didn't have joke endings before now had joke endings (see Lei and Heihachi) Xiao's awful characterization, and despite Jin still being relatively in character, it did set up Jin's ""villain arc"".

And before I get into how Tekken 6 took this to a whole new level. I just wanted to explain that there is absolutely nothing wrong with anime. When I (and many critical fans) state that we don't like it being "anime," we don't mean in general. Yes, we acknowledge Tekken has always been anime. It's always had anime tropes, designs with spikey hair, and nonhuman characters such as bears, space ninjas, and devils. But the problem lies in when the game began implementing predictable, overused tropes as well as bad writing. People try to use Kuma or the devils as proof the game has always had "wacky" characters that aren't grounded in reality. But if you were to take Kuma's moveset and give it to a large human character, it would still be semi-realistic fighting, and nobody would think much beyond the biting LOL. Kuma may be in the form of a bear, but he doesn't whip out a flashy cybernetic sword, or does he throw his head at people and it explodes. And the devils also practice semi-realistic martial arts, too. The only thing is that they sometimes use a laser and sometimes fly up. Sometimes you can fight a Devil Kazuya or Devil Jin without them even using their devil moves. They don't constantly teleport with flashy effects to the point where you can't even process what's going on. And if you watch Jin in Tekken 4, he's just a traditional karate user. That's it. If you watch Jin in Tekken 8, he now has all these flashy moves and it just takes away from him practicing real karate. HELL, Tekken 4 would have Jin calmly practice karate techniques in a dojo with no background music. It showcased that the game really had a focus on real martial arts. It didn't have to contain flashy effects and images, and Jin screaming while going Super Saiyan, and loud music playing while a war is going on and all that shit.

Tekken before was anime. Tekken now is poorly written anime with no sense of direction.

Back on to Tekken 6. Tekken 6 took the "anime" tropes to a whole new level with both design and writing. First off with what it did to the story of Tekken. Tekken's story was still relatively simple prior 6. It mostly had a focus on the Mishimas familial rivalry and their corrupt business. Because of their corrupt business practices as well as their selfish desire for power, they tend to hurt a handful of people. (Such as Michelle whose father was killed because of these criminal practices.) And with the introduction of Jin Kazama's character, we have a good Mishima whose main story becomes wanting to kill his family because of their corruption. There's also the whole devil gene ordeal Kazuya and Jin struggle with, and how it affects their morals and decisions. That's it.

However, Tekken 6 is when the series' story took a nosedive and became convoluted and over the top. The game is no longer just about a dispute between family, it's now about a MOTHERFUCKING WAR that a 21 year old started and somehow managed to devastate most countries and conquer them without even a nation of his own, just a corporate business. All of this done in less than a year btw. So instead of a handful of people being burned because their family was involved with a company that's comparable to a criminal organization, or people who are investigating the corrupt company because of their not so legal practices... we now have characters who are mad at the Mishimas because they're literally bombing cities, taking over nations, and killing people in the masses. And if that wasn't crazy enough, it turns out this war started because Jin started hearing "voices" in his head of an ancient demon who threatens to destroy the world and Jin thinks his only way to save everyone is by... killing millions of innocents...? Oh and there's the whole maybe getting rid of the Devil Gene, and Government Bad.

See? That plot is just so fucking bizarre, and not in a good way. It's to the point where it's actually incomprehensible. Because even to this day, fans cannot understand Jin's motives due to his wild (un)characterization and motives. 14 years later, fans still discuss whether Jin was the evilest Mishima and was only doing this for selfish reasons (muh devil gene bad) or if Jin was genuinely a good guy who was forced to do Bad Things for Good Reasons. Though, Jin's behavior as a character doesn't help him appear like a good guy who was forced with a tragic dilemma. But you see, the game does nothing to help the case that Jin is actually "good." For no reason, he acts uncharacteristically cruel. In fact, Jin was given opportunities to have the "Save The Cat" moment in 6. What's Save The Cat? It's a method utilized when writing a character with mostly unlikeable traits. It got its name from the trope of a not so good person feeding a stray, or saving a cat from getting hit by traffic. This means to give an "unlikeable character" a moment to show they do have a heart of gold deep down inside. This makes them more sympathetic and likeable to the viewer and helps balance their overwhelming negative traits. Jin never has this moment in 6 despite being written as an anti-hero. There were moments when Jin could've; notably Alisa's death and Miguel's grief could've been Jin's "Save The Cat" moments. He could've felt genuinely sorry that Alisa died for him. But what did he do instead? Call her a worthless piece of junk and act GRATEFUL that she died all while mocking her FRIEND'S pain. And then him giving Miguel the cold shoulder, and even showing no remorse for killing his sister. There is nothing in Tekken 6 indicating Jin is a "good guy" or has any redeemable qualities. Despite not acting like it, Jin just tells us he's good.

Anyway, I don't wanna dwell too much on Jin's characterization as I've made countless posts and have already proven how Jin in Tekken 6 might as well be a totally different character from Jin in the previous games. But I just wanted to bring that up real quick as it is an important part on why the story is so messy and I will bring it up later when talking about the game now being "over the top anime." Other than the overall plot which is too wild, the game also suffered other bad anime tropes that fans didn't like. Such as plot beats like Secret Child we've never heard of, as well as Lars' amnesiac plot. Jin's own story might've been heavily influenced by Code Geass itself, as that was a new and popular anime at the time. Except, whilst I never watched it, I'm gonna assume he developed naturally and had real reason and emotion behind his actions that make sense to the viewers as opposed to Jin whose development wasn't natural, his personality completely changed with little explanation, and his motives didn't make sense no matter how people look into it. But the fact they were heavily inspired by Code Geass but with poor execution is more example of this feeling like a bad anime. Alisa's addition was also heavily criticized by fans due to her appearance. Up until now, despite some characters having spikey hair, we never had any character with unnatural bright colored hair - which that's a HUGE anime trope. Every character had natural hair colors and eye colors (with the exception of Kazuya's one red eye. And Hwoarang's orange hair... but he's a punk who dyes it) So to see a girl with bright pink hair was alarming to some fans. And then her whole moveset... we've had robots like Jack before, but Alisa is a new extreme with how she can shoot her fists, pull off her arms, and throw her head like it's a bomb and somehow regenerate another head. People believed her to be too far fetched, and actually clashing with the Tekken aesthetic up until now. Alisa also felt a bit waifu bait at the time with her polite and usually compliant personality. Lars was also often criticized mostly due to his over the top hair. But Alisa was the start of these "flashier" anime characters.

Even though I actually thought Tekken 7 had a better story than Tekken 6 (but that's not saying much) and I felt it wasn't as generic. But... Tekken 6 was such an open sore that it left a scar on the entire series. Even though I felt Tekken 7 had some improvements in design over Tekken 6, it still continues the predictable anime trends such as Lucky Chloe being a Neko cosplayer. And what's worse is that, aside from main story, now almost every character is a joke. The majority of the endings in Tekken 7 were joke endings. This makes the writing even worse than before.

And finally... I wanted to talk about Tekken 8's story. Despite people's complaints about it being "too anime," there are many that SERIOUSLY believe Jin's gonna be a plot twist villain and Kazuya will be the one to turn around just because Jin was "very bad". These people are trying to form these theories without considering the following. 1) the anime tropes they criticize the modern games for having, and 2) the writers mindset and intentions.

First the anime tropes; this is something that people commonly joke about anime. The guy who killed many innocent people suddenly says he's "sorry" and somehow the main characters forgive him and he's now apart of the Friend Group despite his atrocious crimes. IF Jin's actions from 6 do not get retconned, then this is definitely the route they're taking. Just because Jin's "sorry" and is now trying to do "good", he's forgiven. Yes, the game's still pointing out his sins and Jin's like "I must make amends!111!!111" but it doesn't change the fact that Lars is now clearly buddies with Jin. And yes, I do see Lars maybe having it in his heart to forgive Jin, as many people faced with trauma tend to forgive the ones who hurt them as a healing process. But I don't see Lars becoming friends with Jin... or at the very least, being this friendly toward him. Jin had devastated the world, and caused millions pain... but he's also personally hurt Lars time and time again. It's weird for Lars to be "I'M PROUD OF YOU. :)" to Jin but then all scowling towards Kazuya. Which yes, Kazuya isn't doing anything to redeem himself. But... Jin still personally traumatized Lars more than Kazuya has.

Secondly, the writers intentions. Jin isn't good because of his actions and Kazuya isn't bad because of his actions. They're morality depends on the writers' intentions. The writers want Kazuya to be bad, therefore he's bad. The writers want Jin to be the hero, therefore he's good. It doesn't matter what their actions were, you can't create theories for what direction Tekken 8 goes without considering the writers. Jin ISN'T gonna be a plot twist villain because his actions in 6 appeared villainous. This is because the writers don't view them as villainous. YES, Tekken 8 is definitely acknowledging Jin's actions as "bad". But in the end, the writers are trying to depict it as a necessary evil. You can tell because not only have the game been emphasizing Jin as the "hero" now, but the writers have said in many interviews that this story is about unshackling yourself from the chains that hold you and finding freedom; redeeming yourself and learning to accept yourself. That is Jin's story. They've also made this apparent when they [Harada specifically] referred to Jin as an "almost villain" in Tekken 6 from an interview from last year. This shows that the writers themselves do not view Jin as a "bad guy" despite what the fans think, therefore they wouldn't make him a plot twist villain. In the eyes of the writers, Jin is good because his intentions were to ""save the world,"" and Kazuya is bad because his intentions are "selfish" as he's taking over the world because he wants the "power."

Also stop saying Kazuya should be redeemed but not Jin. Sorry but Kazuya is literally just as a bad as Jin. If you want to say "OH JIN DID DO ALL THOSE ACTIONS LETS IGNORE BAD WRITING YADA YADA" Then you can't go around and say "JIN SHOULD BE MAIN VILLAIN AND KAZUYA SHOULD BE REDEEMED AND DEFEAT HIM IN THE END." Kazuya is just as bad as Jin. Some fans don't think so because Kazuya "didn't start" the war. Which is so silly. It'd be like if a serial killer kills 25 people, and then another serial killer gets inspired and kills 25 people as well. Nobody is gonna say the former is "more evil" because he "started it." They're both gonna be deemed terrible people. Kazuya is perpetuating the war and striving for world domination. People try to say "but Kazuya isn't raining missiles on people like Jin did!!1" and it's like how do you know? Because the game hasn't quite shown that yet? Kazuya has been demonstrated in Tekken 7 to kill many innocent people to get what he wants. Even if it's as petty as making Heihachi look bad. If Kazuya is taking over the world, devastating it, and has all this expensive equipment... I can guarantee he's likely using the same methods Jin did in Tekken 6. Either Jin is also worthy of redemption or neither of them are.

Which brings back my point of how jacked the writing of Tekken 8 may be. The concept is something I highly enjoy; learning to accept yourself and not being afraid to take on your demons. But the issue is... this concept can ONLY work for Tekken 4 Jin or even Tekken 2 Kazuya. It CANNOT work for Tekken 8 Jin or Kazuya. It's why Tek8 Jin NEEDS to be retconned in order for the story and its message to work! There are some things you and other people should never forgive yourself for. Mass murder and war crimes are one of those things. If Jin, however, was just brainwashed (or a devil was in control) to do these actions... then it would fit the story better as Jin has to learn to accept himself, and learn to accept that just because his body was the one to make those choices, doesn't mean he himself was and that he's not responsible. It's guilt he has to learn to let go.

But at this point, I really do fear that the writing just isn't gonna be as competent to do that or pull off a convincing redemption for the character. I think it's highly likely they're just gonna have Jin say "Sorryyyy :(......" and the other characters going "cool." I fear it's gonna suffer the bad mistakes of most recent games' writing. Which is a shame, because Tekken has AMAZING concepts, but it keeps getting wasted and wasted.

And to finish this, I'll also return to something you stated about Victor being "over the top." You've seen Victor's trailer and how he just teleports everywhere and slashes his sword then does a rage art.

Here's a Tekken 3 clip if Jin versus Xiao. Xiao nearly defeats Jin, but Jin makes a major comeback... but not without cheap power moves or weapons but with genuine skill. He chooses the best moves and dodges rather than just pressing a trigger panic button. The fight flows really well too, and there's never any interruptions with a cinematic or rage/heart trigger. And the success of both characters don't feel cheap, they feel genuinely earned. This feels like watching an old martial arts movie. Modern Tekken games feel like you're watching a fight scene from an MCU film. It just feels way more gimmicky with all those bright and flashing effects.

[the-haunted-office]

WHAT NOT TO DO WHEN INTERACTING WITH MY BLOG - Customizable Edition

BASICS !

Name / Alias: Thursday

Pronouns: She/Her, but any are fine

Blog type: single muse | Multi-muse | non selective | semi selective | selective | mutuals only | private | other

Type of muses:canon | OCs | both | other (specify)

GENERALITIES !

Triggers people MUST tag: Child abuse. I'm not too picky with much else.

Interest tracker / checker: I have it and it's mandatory | I have it, it's not mandatory but I'm more likely to follow back / interact with the people who fill it | I have one and I prefer it if people fill it in | I have it but it's to people whether to fill it or not | I don't have one | other (specify)

Reblog karma: I practice it | I practice it sometimes | I don't practice it |I always reblog memes from the source| indifferent | other (specify)

Rule passwords: I have one and it's mandatory | I have one and it's optional | I don't have one| I send passwords | don't sent passwords | [space for eventual additions / explanations]

3-5 ESSENTIAL RULES PEOPLE HAVE TO RESPECT

No godmodding or metagaming. Basically don't control my muse and don't have your muse read my muse's mind (unless your muse can read minds and/or it's info obtained from a qualifying ask meme).

Don't pressure me into NSFW. I don't mind that other people rp NSFW, but I am uncomfortable with it myself. We can talk about things and whatnot, but not actually roleplay it (as long as you're 18+ of course).

Don't use me or my muses as stepping stones. I've had this happen multiple times in the past where people have dragged me into their plots without asking, used my muse to accomplish something, then dumped all interactions with me and tell me that I'm not "owed" any further interactions. If you do need to use my muse for something, the key is asking first.

Please don't pester me for replies. I am a mother and I also babysit my baby nephew during the week, so sometimes I may be slower replying. I try to reply within 1-2 days, and if you think I've missed your reply please do tell me. But don't ask me multiple times.

Remember that the Mun does not equal the Muse. Some of my muses can be rude or short-tempered or even violent. This is nothing against you personally.

Another one: Excessive violence towards child muses. I don't mind if there's abuse in the muse's past or little things like scraped knees and such, but actual rp threads that involve real-time violence towards children or manipulating children, or hurting or harming or abusing them in any way I am not comfortable with portraying. If you have any questions, please let me know.

3-5 IMPORTANT PET PEEVES TO KEEP IN MIND

Using my muses without asking, as outlined above. It really, really bothers me and I'm likely to stop rping with you altogether if it's a repeated thing.

Being overly critical over certain things in an intentionally mean way. Basically bullying. Do not bully me for the way I play my muses.

Going along with that, taking my ideas (like entire plots) and then saying you did them better. Yes, this has happened to me, and it's super shitty. Don't do this. Everybody is going to have something similar at some point, but you can tell if it's something that's been lifted straight from someone else.

2-5 THINGS THAT WILL LEAD TO INSTANT(SOFT) HARD BLOCKING

I changed it to hard blocking. I do NOT soft block. I either unfollow or hard block. Unfollow = We can still RP together, it's just that your content on your blog bothers me. Hard block = I will no longer talk / RP with you. (I kept this from the person I borrowed this from because I agree.)

I haven't really had to block anybody yet, but I will instantly block anyone who is hateful towards any LGBTQ+ folks; racism; pedophilia; and excessive hate OOC.

People I just don't vibe with. If you give me bad vibes, I'll block you.

2-5 THINGS THAT LEAD ME TO UNFOLLOW A MUTUAL / SOMEONE I INTERACT WITH

If we haven't interacted in months despite there being no clear reason for it. I understand being busy with life - I get busy too - but when I see my mutuals rping plenty with other people and ignoring my threads with with them and asks from me, that really bothers me over time. I will unfollow so I don't have to see all your interactions with everyone else so I won't feel so left out and probably stop trying to interact with you so much. *I want to clarify on this. I don't mean if we just generally haven't interacted in a while because we have nothing going on - what I mean is if we do have plots and things going, but it's all being ignored while you seem to have no issue keeping up with everyone else for a prolonged period of time. Basically, if we have interacted before and you don't want to anymore because you don't like our threads or find them boring, please tell me instead of ignoring me.

Excessive violence on your blog. I rp horror on mine, so there will be occasional blood and violence and dark and upsetting material; but when it's constant, it bothers me. Especially if it involves children. Same with NSFW. If I follow you and all I see are posts/rp threads with sex and violence and that's it, I'll most likely unfollow.

2-5 REASON YOU DON'T FOLLOW (BACK) SOMEONE

If you post excessive OOC things. We're talking like, I never see you actually roleplaying anything, it's reblogging things unrelated to rp.

If you post too frequently to the point where it floods my feed. For this I mean, posting like 20 things per minute.

Either you aren't an rp blog or I can't tell if you are or not.

tagged by: I yoinked from @un-chained :3 Tagging: Anybody!

[swanye-fediverse]

General Griping

'Going to just be me grumbling but I don't want this blog to turn into a stream of constantly angry rants. I know anger and outrage can motivate people but, considering the number of entities – these days – which make a habit out of capitalizing (pun slightly intended) off of others' outrage and – therefore – provoke discomfort intentionally and repeatedly, I just don't feel comfortable turning this into a rant-blog.

So tech. griping about current trends, under the cut!

It honestly saddens me and slightly flabbergasts me, every time I see Spotify used as an embed (especially one that expects interaction on the part of others).

Like, that's a service, babe; a full-on service. I need to sign up for an account to access that. It is, quite literally (by means of a metaphor) walled off.

Like, there are massively moral and economic issues with YouTube (not least being a further tool in the monopoly of Google) but, from just a plain-use perspective, I can – at least – just click play on that.

Spotify requires me to buy-in.

And it's not like there are easy solutions here. It's hard to provide a service to the commons when your entire model is build on products which are inherently intellectual property in a legal system which enforces copyright (and that's not even getting into the discussion about the merits or lack-thereof of copyright, etc.).

But…it still saddens me that that's, apparently, becoming normalized; that, rather than trying to find alternatives (again, not ideal (and a more thorough option like PeerTube might not be feasible with copyrighted works) but YouTube wouldn't confuse anyone while not requiring they sign up for an account; I'm sure someone's uploaded the song to YouTube), the fact that you're using a service that locks us in (more so than the alternative, if it doesn't already have you paying for it) isn't thought about to the point that it's not considered whether others can access it.

The solution, obviously, is to create alternatives and I understand that there are many for whom being able to try out services and sites which may not even fully work or have everything the proprietary one did is a luxury (of both time and spoons).

But I'm just so sick of corporate control creeping in to everything that we do to our lives, down to the way we recreationally entertain ourselves or grow ourselves by consuming art. That we not only have to carve out time for ourselves from mandated labor but, then, must negotiate how we're allowed to even use said free time.

Want to listen to another song without bracing for an ad. that's had its audio compressed to jolt your attention while you were unwinding? Well, for a price…

[piecesofmicorazon]

for beautiful bee

bee..

when we first broke up in december i thought i was doing the right thing. it was true-- i wasn't in a good place mentally, i had so much i wanted to work on and grow from. i truly did feel like my feelings started to change and i started to see you as "more of a friend."

and i should've known this from the first time we tried to break up and i had that shrine set up in my bed for you lol. it was so painful. to think about a life without you as my bee so so painful, and i couldn't even fathom it. but i thought it was just the initial feelings, and that i had made the right decision.

a few months in, the winds started changing and i felt like i wanted to go experience the world, with whatever that consisted of. at the time, meeting new people had intriguied me and so did the way of the world. rebounding after a breakup, dating around, figuring out what you like, living my best single life, etc. i felt like those things were caught my interest and so i wanted to be open minded to that.

obviously that has led me to do some stupid things and make reckless decisions that i'll have to live with. and i know it's one of the few things that has led us here now.

something that i've learned about myself over these months is just how easily i am shaken. i am not a sturdy person, i don't actually know what i want, and i don't take the time to think about it. instant gratification is what i crave the most -- quick decisions that have minimal commitment. shiny new toys intrigue me and i am scared of missing out, and i am constantly blown and tossed by the wind. and after it all, i am always left unsatisfied and empty. i feel like i'm always chasing what i think is going to be fun or what everyone else is doing, i do not live my life intentionally, and i wonder if i truly know who i am and what i want. i am constantly thinking about how i look, how others will perceive me, and i have never felt like i could fully be myself.. except with you.

you are this rock in my life, so stable and consistent. you are always by my side and supporting me. no matter what i do and no matter what i choose, you have cheered me on. whether it's something as stupid as playing angry birds, my pottery journey, working at milk and pull, hosting parties, my acne journey, building my lego sets, and everything in between -- you have been there supporting me.

when i think about a life with you, it is peace. i have never been able to be in the most chaotic and unpleasant settings, but feel so happy at the same time if you're there. when we sat in that airport for 8 hours and the plane ended up being cancelled, i was just happy to be there with you. with you, i feel like the world is beautiful and i can do anything. even the worst days, with you by my side. feels like a good day. i am so sorry that i ever tried to let it go.

bj, i am so scared. i'm scared that things are serious with you, i'm scared of all the things that come with that. i am not good at commitment and like i said earlier, i am always chasing the next new thing, new shiny toys, but i don't want to anymore. i do feel like i've experienced enough to know that this right here... this is it. but i'm still scared. i'm scared about the conversation i'll have to have with my mom again, scared that we will be long distance, scared to hurt you again, scared to fully let myself be in this relationship.

i know by any means you are not asking me to get married tonight and i am trying not to overthink anything. but i do want to be intentional with what i'm doing and what that truly means.

over the past 4 months, i have broken no contact every single time. to the point where i emailed you, and i have never thought i'd be that girl emailing someone lol. i've only heard about that on twitter fr lmao. but it has shown me that i truly cannot stay away from you. and i don't want to.

i know our relationship will never be the same and there are many new things we will need to work past. but i want to do all of those things. i want you to feel so loved and seen and heard, just like you make me feel every single day.

when i messed around with parris, it was easy for me because it was no committment and quick. it was never someone i would've pursued and that's why i was able to do it. it was a moment of "fun" that i wouldn't need to think about the next day. causal hookups were never my thing but i thought maybe this is what i wanted. that experiencing the world and "figuring what i like" entailed doing these things, and he was an easy target. it wasn't love, it wasn't even close to like, it was just there. i know it's so strange and disgusting to believe i could've done those things while still being involved with you. and truly, even i am in disbelief with myself that i was capable of such a heartless act. there is no logic and i won't sit here trying to explain myself to you. but i truly do think it was because i wasn't emotionally involved with him and i knew i never would be. it didn't mean anything to me and it held no value or importance in my heart, and i could forget about it so easily. it was shocking for me as well to come to this conclusion, because i feel like in the past even if i made eye contact with someone for too long, i'd get attached lol. but i think that's why it intrigued me so much and it was almost like an experiment to see if i was suddenly this person who was able to do casual. and perhaps thats why i kept doing it, almost as a test. low risk and easy to forget.

this last time it happened, yes it happened a few days after we broke up. but this time i wasn't grieving you, this time i wasn't heartbroken, i wasn't thinking about it. i thought it was really over, and because we broke up so many times, i was just over it. i was over myself and my stupidity. i hated myself for doing the whole back and forth so many times, for constantly fucking up, for still being interested in dating other people, and all those things. so when i saw him a few days later, i guess i just decided to go do the things i wanted to break up for. i wanted to date around right? i wanted to have more experiences right? find out what i like right? and i genuinely thought you and i weren't going to speak, i thought we were done done done. so i did some stupid shit and figured i would deal with the consequences.

but it didn't take long for my heart to realize the things that i've been constantly realizing. at the end of the day, and the end of it all, in the midst of it all -- it's you. i wanted you here with me. i wanted to be with you. i was thinking about you. and there was no one else i wanted to be with.

so i emailed you from multiple emails, i dm'd you on twitter, i messaged you on whatsapp. all the avenues i knew you'd left open for me, for emergencies, and there you were. and there you were my sweet girl. and here we are now.

i am so sorry that i am so young, naive, immature, and inexperienced when it comes to dating and love in general. i'm sorry for everything i've put you through with these 4 months, for all the back and forth and heartbreak you've had to deal with as i was figuring myself out. i know ideally we would've done no contact from the start and even though i would've come to this same conclusion, at least i wouldn't have had to drag you through the process. but here we are. i am glad that i never lied to you and was honest about everything, and i know you are too. yes, ignorance is bliss, but it's also false peace sometimes. when you would say things like "i look so stupid, i look like an idiot, etc." i never thought that, because it was always you and it was always going to be you. i'm so sorry that my actions didn't reflect it. but despite it all, it has led me back to you.

to know basic love in this lifetime is rare and extraordinary, but to know your love is beyond my wildest dreams. far beyond what i deserve nor did i ever think was a possibility. and i will do my best to show you that same selfless and astounding love.

i know as of recent, the conversation has shifted towards reciprocality. how you feel like you are always giving 200% and i am barely giving 50%. i don't want you to feel like that and i will try my best to make you feel like i'm giving 200% too. if that means working from your house during the week sometimes, watching antz, or even watching a few episodes of the L word... i will do it. well... i'll try my best 😬

i want to do all these things for you bee, i want to be the person that you deserve, i want to love you loud and fearlessly. but i would be lying if i said i wasn't scared. i'm scared that i will not live up to what you deserve, that i'll keep failing, and breaking your heart. i cannot bear to break your heart again, and to see you this distressed because of me these past few months have been absolutely agonizing. to know i caused it is something i will never ever forgive myself for.

i will do my best to get you to trust me again, to build and restore what was ruptured. with my words and my actions.

when it comes to being intimate-- i know it's been a struggle for me. and i am still trying to figure out what the actual issue is so i can fix it. but truly believe me when i say this, please believe me: that it has absolutely nothing to do with you or what you did/didn't do. you are so beautiful, sexy, attractive, well-groomed, and the most put together person i've ever met. you take care of yourself so well, always smell good, and i have never experienced mindblowing pleasure from anyone else but you. i am so sorry my lack of intimacy has made you second guess yourself, question your worth or attractiveness. but please know it was never about you, it's an internal and mental issue for me.

i am going to work on rebuilding intimacy and what that really means. i really want it to work, i really want to try. to rebuild that.

i know another factor that we will face is you moving away. it's only a matter of time where you will be gone and i will not have physical access to you. i can't just take a 10 min uber to come see you. in some ways, i feel like it could be good for us. like we spoke about recently, we have always had our independence despite being in a relationship. we've never lost our own selves, and i think we could take it one day at a time.

i still have selfish tendencies and that has been made so obvious during this time. i haven't thought about anyone but myself and i have prioritzed my needs/wants this whole time. i always think about that trip to DC we took to go to ruqaya's -- where we went to mcdonalds and i said that i didn't want to go back and hang out with those people. that moment of realization where you so kindly told me how those were your friends that you rarely see, and how you would've loved even 5 more minutes with them... and how that wasn't even a thought in my mind. ever since that day, i have wanted to be more selfless, but it seems like i haven't grown too much huh.

you are it bee. it's you, and it's always been. i think everyone has known that, i'm sorry it took all of this for me to say it too. but i do wonder -- is love enough? will i actually do all the things i want to?

i want to and i will try. but is that enough? i'm scared.. i don't trust myself and i still feel like i'm a little kid who needs someone to guide me. to tell me what to do, show me the difference from right and wrong. i don't want to keep disappointing you or hurting you, and i'm scared that i will. that i will fall short or doing something without realizing how selfish it is. i almost wanted to just break up again to save you those possibilities. i don't think i can keep going if i hurt you again. for you to have stayed this whole time despite everything i've done alone feels so wrong. i wish someone would just shake you and say "what's wrong with you!!! leave her!!!"

even thinking about i chose to go out this weekend instead of writing this earlier. where are my priorities? will i be able to sacrifice the things i want, in order to prioritize you and us? do i even want to or think to? those are the things that scare me. because the fact is, that i didn't. i still chose to go to the party.

i wonder do we need more time? do i need more time to grow? to be the best person for you?

i don't know what the future holds but i know that i don't want to live a life without you. throughout this time, every single journal entry of mine has ended like this: "in every lifetime, i hope me and bj find our way back to each other." and here we are.

i love you so much bee. i have never loved someone like this nor did i think was a real thing. like i always say, since being with you -- all the songs make sense, the movies feel real, and colors are more vibrant. and that's something i feel confident about.

all i can really say is i'm so sorry for all the ways i've hurt you-- and i hope you know it was never intentional or malicious. i'm sorry for the way i have not held you heart with two hands, for all the selfish tendencies, and for not being able to let you go.

i want to live this life with you.

when i think about the perfect day it truly is just simply going for a walk with you. when i think about the best days of my life, it's laughing in the living room with you me and jordan, talking about everything under the sun. for once, i want to choose what i want and keep living in the moment.

i will try my best to give you 200% and to be this person that you truly deserve. because i want to and i want to be. there are many more obstacles to come but i hope we can go through them together. you are so beyond perfect in every way, i truly couldn't have even crafted you with AI.

sorry for just the biggest brain dump ever. i hope you read this a few times and hope you can understand why it's taken me so long to write this. there are still so many things i want to say and that i missed, but i pray we have all the time in the world.

as i wrap this up, one of my favorite songs is playing. and the lyrics go like this:

"You're one of the few things that I'm sure of You're one of the few things that I know already I could build my world on One of the few things that I'm sure of And I want you to unravel me Come closer, come closer"

with my jittery ass, there are not many things that stay stable/consistent in my life. friendships, hobbies, decorations, etc. i can never stay somewhere for too long. but you sweet girl, i hope you do. thank you for everything you've ever done for me, things seen and unseen. you have taught me what love really means, and i pray that i can give you even a fraction of that love.

i love you bj. it truly is you. 사라해 my sweet girl.

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Jane Crocker

Act 6, page 4571

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]

TG: ALART ALART ARLART AL*ERT AL*ART!!!!!

TG: hugely important cornespondence

TG: paging doctor crocker

TG: rolal to docrock

GG: :?

TG: heh heh

TG: paging

TG: bet you would like to get PAGED huh jane

TG: *sweet innuendo

GG: I'm not sure that qualifies as innuendo at all.

TG: wonkwonkwonkwonkwonk

GG: I honestly think you misspell things intentionally more often than not, regardless of blood alcohol content.

GG: You just typed wonk five times in a row!

TG: i have only junst begun to wonk

GG: What is this urgent thing about, anyway?

GG: Is it about your boobytrap?

GG: Because you're too late. It already blew up my whole bedroom, thank you very much.

TG: no no

TG: i mean i still feel shitty about that but its not abiout that

TG: i know you already ran it i been talking to the shades

GG: Yes, me too. Right now in fact, and I'm in a bit of a hurry!

GG: What is this about? What are you even doing?

TG: im in the lab doing a thing with my cat

TG: but that doesnt matter i was doing some thingkin and was still feeling guilty about fuckin up ur computer and all of the sudden im in bff~ath mode here

TG: so i gotta tell you something u need to know before its too late

GG: Before what's too late?

TG: you and jake hookin up stupid!

GG: Oh my god.

TG: this is about turnin all your steamydreamz in to STEAMAY REALTITIES

TG: ***realities lolo

GG: This isn't happening now...

TG: whereins jc + je kiss & hug loads and start turnin out big heaps of wrigglers the old fashioned way<3<3,3,3<338O!!!!

TG: i cant decide whether this mental image porcolating here is hot as shit or cute as fuck......

GG: No! Cease your lascivious porcolating at once!

GG: Roxy, I can see you're set on just wasting more of my time.

GG: I understand if you don't wish to play this game, but please try not to interfere with those of us who do!

TG: no no im fine with playing just shut up

TG: this is serious you need to tell him how u feel VERY SOON

TG: or you might miss your chance

GG: My chance?

GG: What are you talking about?

TG: i found out today taht dirks gonna make a move

GG: A move? You mean, a romantic one?

TG: yes

GG: On you?

TG: omfffgggggg

TG: JANE GET A CLUE

GG: Um.

GG: On me?

TG: no

TG: no my dear sweet janey not on you

TG: ON JAKE!!!

GG: Oh.

GG: Ohhh.

GG: I didn't think...

GG: That...

GG: Hrm.

GG: Are you sure?

TG: p sure ask glasses if u want

GG: Well then.

GG: This is quite a development.

GG: Poor Dirk!

TG: what do you mean

GG: Well, surely when he reveals his feelings, Jake will...

TG: ??

GG: I mean...

GG: He couldn't possibly...

TG: wut

TG: repriprocate?

GG: Yes?

TG: why not

GG: Because Jake is not a homosexual!

TG: mm hm

TG: are u suuuuuure???

GG: Are you saying he is?

TG: nope

GG: Then what are you saying?

TG: im saying that

TG: i dont fuckin know

GG: But...

GG: I thought it reasonable to presume he takes a shining to ladies.

GG: He does speak fondly of certain females from his favorite films, does he not?

TG: true that

TG: but

TG: how much does that really mean here jane

TG: can you be totes sure on account a some dorky moive crushes

GG: Well, now I just don't know. You have me completely bamboozled about this.

GG: What do you think?

TG: all im saying is

TG: my gaydar is like the exanct fuckin poposite of urs

TG: which is to say it is better than completety nonexistant

TG: mine is so sensitive it has been used to sweep the ocean floor for mythical sea monsters

TG: turns out

TG: all of those monsters are SO gay

TG: truth B)

GG: Okay. Then what does your acute seabeast scanner make of Jake, then?

TG: thats what im sayin

TG: i really have no idea

TG: kid is a goggamn egnigma

TG: hes as hard 2 read as fine print

TG: and how i do mean FIIINE ;)

GG: Oh brother.

GG: Then, your guess is as good as mine?

GG: I'm not sure what I'm supposed to conclude from this.

TG: youre supposed to concluce

TG: that you SAID you were going to believe anything i said today remember??

GG: Yes.

GG: But you just said you don't know!!!

TG: exactly

TG: therefore you must believe me when i say

TG: if dirk lets on all his feelins there is at least a CHANCE jake will go like DERP OK DUDE LETS MAKE OUT

TG: and that means poor jane is screwed without ever even throwing her filthy old fedora in the ring

TG: it is a ring i lke ot call TEH ENGLISH SPEEPSTAKES

TG: and if u dont youll regret it

TG: and i mean

TG: OFFICIALLY?

TG: i cant have a horse in the race

TG: wait bad metaphor ebcause of dirk and his fucking horstes n/m

TG: like you are both my friends and im not out to mess him up or anything

TG: but i kinda owe it to you as my friend to let you know whats up

TG: and also to get you to stop being such a WORLD CHAMPIAN TIGHTASS

TG: and let jake know

GG: Oh, not this tightass baloney again.

TG: jane

GG: What?

TG: jaane..

GG: ...

TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass

GG: No way!

GG: We settled this, remember?

GG: My prior resolution made it definitive; I was to be regarded as exceedingly permissive in certain respects!

TG: jane i am afraid

TG: that ur bottom

TG: is a stubborn clam

TG: guarding priceless treasure

TG: and a deadly secret

GG: So ridiculous. >:P

TG: im not saying be an idiot and start gushing at him incoherentry

TG: but do SOMETHING

TG: say how u feel

TG: or flirst a bit or ask him out on a date inside the fuckin game or such

TG: goddamn ANYTHING other that a bunch of bullshitty pining and tightassy NOTHING

TG: you have to do what i say u promised

GG: I promised to BELIEVE what you say, not DO it!

TG: those 2 things are

TG: prespicely the same shit

GG: If I agree to say something, will you stop tormenting me about it??

TG: yes

TG: but only

TG: because that will be impossible for me to do

TG: when u + him r snoggin hard in motherfuckin makeout paradise

TG: A K A SEX LAND

GG: Fine.

GG: But let the record show that this resolution has almost nothing whatsoever to do with your use of the phrase "SEX LAND."

GG: Just...

GG: I need to think of what to say, and wait for the right moment. Is that ok???

TG: sure

TG: just dont wait too long

TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles

TG: nor jakes...

TG: lets say

TG: open mindedness???????

GG: Well,

GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.

TG: yuuup................

GG: Omg.

GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I?

TG: ur finally gettin it

TG: now go

TG: and jane im warning u

TG: if you dont say somethin to him

TG: i am personally entering the game specivically to FUCK UR SHIT UP

TG: *LOLLIES OUTIE*

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] ceased pestering gutsyGumshoe [GG]