#even if she didn't
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Aside from the deranged and almost derailing way that Nesta ended up in the House, I actually love the House as a symbolism for Nesta and her personality. A house that is hard to reach, covered in unshakeable rock, menacing and looking down at everyone. A house that has too many stairs to climb so climbing is a punishment or lesson and no one can really reach unless they’re born with a particular set of wings. A house that’s warded away from the rest, which means that effort must be made to reach it. A house that’s used for courtly functions, who’s value is based on its purpose. A house where its cold and lonely and secluded from the rest, and which was never really going to be anyone’s home...
A house that for the people who find themselves here when they have no where else to go, who find themselves seeking refuge from dark and decrepit things, people so broken they feel they can never be fixed... for those who find value in the rock, love this mountain so high that there’s no easy way down, it’s a house that means security, a solid foundation... a library and friends and even some magic hidden in its heart. Such wonderous understanding. Empathy in its depths, even if it at first appears to be monstrous. A house that cares. A house that loves. A house that lives despite all odds. A house that reminds me so very much of Nesta Archeron that it’s marvelous that it’s an expression of self-love.
#nesta archeron#You know I don't mind that Nesta lives there even if she doesn't have an easy way out#I figure she'll get a pegasus and that issue will be solved fairly quickly#a magical horse car#even if she didn't#I still don't think the issue is her leaving#it's the lack of choice she had about being there at all#the trickery and coercion no matter the positive outcome#If Nesta had truly chosen this house I wouldn't feel so bad that she lives there#that it's some gift from Rh/ys as if to say hey I did this to you and for you here you go#ugh such manipulative bs#But the beauty and function of the house itself I love#it's honestly one of the more solid things in this book and sjm could have really milked it way more than she did#I actually wrote a fic about the dichotomy of a home and a haunted house#it was my 20000 word fic that I never finished#but damn it would have been good
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ok so i talked to my big sister about how i think my younger sister's autistic and she said she thought so too so!! also i talked to her about how it'd be a Dangerous Subject for anyone to bring up to mom and also about how we can at least try to let her have a semi positive childhood experience cos like our family makes fun of the Probably Autism Things she does a lot my big sister included but i talked to her about that so i think she knows to be More Careful now?? cos like the stuff they make fun of her for was what i got made fun of for when i was younger and it fucked me up. also about how i wanted to buy our younger sister a chew necklace or chewable jewelry of some sort and then we looked at pictures of chew necklaces and there are a lot of fun designs i think she would like and my big sister seemed impressed by how Stylish chew necklaces could be hffhg you know that droplet design that a lot of chew necklaces have?? she showed me one of those and was like "i would wear this one just cos" gugghgf it was gr8. so i think we are one day buying our little sister a chew necklace. i don't have money Yet but. One Day
#the tree is talking#aaaa it makes me sad to think that my little sister's most likely gonna go through her life thinking there's smth wrong#when there is. Not#but i can't bring it up to her bc she'd interpret it as an insult probably and#even if she didn't#she'd still bring it up to mom bc like. she has way more trust in mom than she should#and mom would get mad at her and probably accuse her of just 'wanting to be autistic to have something wrong with her' or smth#or she'd turn it against me and use my little sister as a token in her arguments against me#but yea if i were the one to bring up the possibility she's autistic then that would be hell for both of us#if she was the one who figured it out on her own and told mom 'i think i might be autistic' then mom would treat her like shit#the safest scenario#is i try to subtly hint at it#probably by relating my Autistic Behavior to her Probably Autistic Behavior#and she gets curious does her research and then self diagnoses if she has it#and she keeps it a secret from mom#that is the safest scenario but it's not very realistic#not right now anyway#maybe sometime... in the future
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i’m about half sure my asl professor for this semester has assigned the wrong textbook
#it's the one for last semester#been there done that#even if she didn't#then we'll all be behind for the last class#:/#so either way#i'm concerned
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I would marry Sarah Paulson today if she asked
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