#even if nobody will use em im gonna gif her in this

[fatefought]

@incaensio sent: ❛ are you even sorry? ❜ - katniss/haymitch (ngl,,, this would be Fun for MJ)

thirteen has him dressing in jackets, gloves, and a beanie. years of punishing his body has meant that regulation of temperature is something that has been beat out of it. the garments make sure that abernathy is warm, but it doesn't stop the withdrawal shivers that still plague him now. shouldn't it have stopped ? haymitch doesn't really know. he's no doctor. it's the first time he and the girl have seen each other in the underground district and had some sense of privacy. he's given her space, and he bets she could use some more.

everdeen's question is vague, and his brain instantly thinks of several things it could do with. arms remain crossed over his chest. it's retaining the warmth better, but it does nothing to add a friendliness to his demeanor. maybe he should pander, butter her up. he has some experience after being a mule for the games for twenty-five years. she's no cap sponsor though, and being so out of character might end with more violence. though, even being genuine likely will too. " for which part ? are ya talkin' the boy ? of course. that sorrow is felt for 'im though. ya might be 'is wife, but that doesn't mean i owe it to ya. he's 'is own person, and i think about 'im being there all the time. " peeta is in the capitol ; peeta is in snow's hands. the interview while sad at least confirmed he was still alive. they still had a chance at getting him here.

" i know ya think i broke the promise, but i didn't. i did everythin' in my power to try to get 'im here. how was i suppose to know that things played out the way they did ? if i broke it, ya broke it too. what did ya do to make sure he got here ? ya see how slippery slick that slope is ? i know ya didn't break it. and if ya think i did, that's fine. i'm not gonna say i'm sorry for breakin' it if i don't think i did though. " his defensiveness is uncalled for, but it's the only way he can cope with everything. being sober leaves a lot of time for wading through the guilt and other thoughts haymitch would like to suppress. one of the medical staff commented how he probably drank to forget. well damn, abernathy drinks because he likes the alcohol. ( the other thing was just an added benefit. )

" as for ya, " finger points to the girl momentarily as though katniss wouldn't know who he's talking about. " i am sorry for the position ya were thrown in. i know it isn't fair. you're young. ya didn't choose this. nothing's fair though. nobody's life in panem is their own, other than some caps. we've talked 'bout how victors never leave the arena. ya can get better at the games, but it never makes 'em easier. the difficulty just gets harder. your loved ones most of which are here would 'ave just become tally marks for times that snow got 'is fuckin' feelings hurt. i know it's unfair, and for that i am sorry. ya can make a difference though. and when this is all said and done, ya and the people ya care about can actually live. " he's not saying he did this for her. no, obviously not. haymitch wants to see the world burn so it can be rebuilt. katniss cares deeply for those she loves though. he does hope the girl and those people do get to live in peace though, even if it will only be after the rebellion and if the rebels won.

" add me to that little list of people ya wanna kill to coin for all i care. just let me see ya end snow first, " he remarks. " but 'til then, let me work with ya so we can get peeta 'ere. cinna too who saw the very same potential in ya that i did that all of the rebels did. ya don't 'ave to like me or trust me. i've given ya plenty of reasons to not. at the very least i can help ya navigate through all this mockingjay shit. "

[katherine-mcnamara]