#even if its not perfect. even if shes still impatient and stubborn and unmoving on certain things
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cant even remember wht subgenre of acute mental illness i was living with at 18 which gave me the ability to write ashara the way i did but im so glad i went thru that shit bc a solasmancer who acts essentially as a microcosm of the present day world and reflects the exact problems solas hates so much about it but still somehow comes to love is. objectively insane. and here she is 7.5 years later and about 3x worse
#oc: ashara#her being cold and bitter and harsh and unyielding and short tempered and dismissive and vicious. on the SURFACE#until you try. until u keep trying and actually make an effort to meet her w empathy and patience#and then u get love. and warmth and dedication and curiousity thoughtfulness and light and comfort and TRUST !!!!#even if its not perfect. even if shes still impatient and stubborn and unmoving on certain things#and seeing that those things u had dismissed as cold and harsh are rly just mistranslated attempts at kindness from someone who is#trying her absolute best. and has peoples best interest at heart at the end of the day. even if she cant always convey it well#and like thats THE WORLD. thats the PRESENT babe ! thats LIFE and PEOPLE for u !!!!#obsessed w him being like i can no longer hate this world because YOU are the world . but even then it doesnt change anything lol#and its like he was already going to potentially kill her by doing what he's doing but now its like#the world and ashara are a 1:1 comparison in his head atp. man#someone COOKED here#and that someone was me on the train to claremont in 2017 every day for like 11 weeks having recently discovered pinterest lol
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