#even if i go out without my goddamn phone everyone else has theirs

[tigerjpg]

i feel genuinely ill thinking about how insidious and inescapable technology is nowadays. i miss the fucking landline

[kkusuka]

Haikyuu kinks setter eddition <33

here is the ace eddition 

here is the Middle blocker version

Includes: Kageyama Tobio, Oikawa Tooru, Sugawara Koshi, Atsumu Miya, Semi Eita, Shirabu Kenjiro, Kanji Koganegawa, Akaashi Keji, Kenma Kozume,  Yahaba Shigeru and  Keishin Ukai

Cw: pet play, degradation, humiliation, cock warming, cuckolding, bare baking, public sex, photography,   (those are the more serious one, every thing else should be fine <3) 

and here we go!

oh he is so pretty

Kageyama Tobio

Oral

It goes both ways too

He could append the rest of his life in between your thighs and that’s that

But that would mean missing the slice of heaven you give him when you go down on him

And he doesn't think he could live without that, you're just that good 

Little secret for you : he will literally be putty in your hands if you suck his balls, it will literally send him into outer space 

Vanilla sex

NOT IN THE BAD WAY

HE LIKES IT FOR A GOOD REASON

DON’T KILL ME

He just likes to be in love with you 

It's his awkward version of love making, but he’ll burn up if you call it that

Just looking you in the eyes and softly thrusting in you 

Holding your hand 

Soft kisses and whispers of love 

AWWW he’s so soft for you.

Cockwarming 

This is really only foe when he wants to have sex

But also wants to watch old tapes of volleyball games

Normally tricks you into it, he’ll say he wants to fuck on the couch, y’all start to do it and he just stops gets you on his lap and watches

You don't like that too much

But when he harshly thrusts up everytime you whine telling you he won't let you cu for a week

Then you start to behave

But no worries he’ll eventually let you grind on him like whore, and he’ll play with your nipples until you've came

Your still not moving tho

Sensory deprivation 

This is a control tactic 

He goes all you for this

When he wants control he gets it 

The most common thing when this side of Kags comes out is having you kneel on the floor

Well kneeling with your legs tied in the position, your arms tied behind your back

with earmuffs and a blindfold

With a vibrator torturing your poor hole. 

Oh! And either a spider gag or a ball gag!

It's just you and never ending pleasure until he wants to indulge <3

(look at him walking, he does it so well) 

Oikawa Tooru

Public sex & Humiliation

Specifically riding 

Sitting you on his lap and pretending nothing is going on, while he’s really 8 inches deep

He’ll make you reach down and folder his ball to help HIM get off, for you? Well i guess you’ll just have to bounce a bit now wont you!

Knowing that to everyone else you two just look like a regular couple enjoying a bowl of ramen makes him love defiling you in public even more. 

Aw. Are you embarrassed? You can’t be that ashamed if your fucking yourself on me

You never know how far he will take it either

One time when you were at dinner with Tooru and some of his friends, he had sat you in his lap and spread your legs for them to see

You were so embarrassed, even more when he started cooing in your ear about how much of a show whore you were

You couldn't look his friends in theirs eyes for a few hours

Gangbangs/ Cuckolding 

You already know he believes in sharing is caring!

And he sure knows how to share!

You're just too perfect to not share with Makki, Mattsun, and Iwa!

And have you seen his friends, you’d like to give it a try

And he practically begged you to do it, and you can't deny a pretty boys puppy dog eyes

No one can deny the puppy dog  eyes

He never thought anything could beat the feeling of being on the court, but seeing you trying to fit Mattun in your weeping hole and deepthroating iwa may just do the trick

Watching his friends fuck you may just be his favorite pass time

Cum eating 

H e  i s  a  w h o r e 

He tries to tell you it's to make you “clean” 

Yup, he sucks all of his friends cum out of you to make sure you're all his. 

Oh! Sometimes Iwa will cum in your mouth and make Tooru make out with you until all the cum is gone between the two of you!

Praise 

This is practically in all aspects of life

But when hes fucking you he wants to hear how amazing he’s making you feel

Yeah, his dick hits that perfect spot doesn't it? 

He wants to hear it

He wants to hear EVERYTHING 

His hips feel good against your thighs? Say it and loudly too!

Sugawara Koshi

Slight pet play

He really just wants someone to take care of

And what better way to do that then have his puppy by his side. 

And it keeps him grounded

He’ll be all frustrated then he just looks at you

On your knees looking back up at him

And all of a sudden everything is ok again. 

Body worship 

Mostly from him to you

He just thinks you are so perfect

Sometimes he just wants you to stirp so he can spend hours just exploring your body

He’ll lay you down and just tell you how beautiful you are over and over

When he’s in a caring mood everything he does will be accompanied with a sweet compliment 

Just let him do his thing <3

Caregiver 

We saw this coming 

Suga-momma will do anything for you

Had a bad day, ok he’ll let you use his cock to get off

You’ll feel better. 

But, this is everyday life too

He sometimes helps dress you up.

He packs your lunch for work,  always with a little note expressing his love for you

He just loves to know that you are comfortable and that you feel loved by him all the time. 

Slight medical / doctor 

I just feel like he wants you to be “healthy” 

He’ll have a whole set up too

He’ll strap your legs up and “examine” his baby

And once he is sure all is well, 

He’ll just fuck you then and there

if only he were real

Atsumu Miya

Dirty talk / Degradation 

This is literally cannon-

He calls you all the names in to book

The favorite? He can't bring himself to choose 

They all have different tones!

He does like to use “Cocksleve” more than often!

If you didnt know any better you would truly believe that he only thinks of you as a hole to fuck. 

“ yes, clench just like that Cum-rag, you're too good at this”

“God, you’re hole loves my cock, i should just keep you here and fuck you or the rest of your life, leave you dripping in my cum all day and night” 

He just LOVES doing this act

"Are you my slut?"

"Yes"

"Tell me you're my slut"

"I'm your slut"

"Say it again"

"I'm your slut"

He could live just hearing that everyday (not really but he says it to show how happy he is-) 

Overstimulation  

A built in ego boost

He loves seeing you messy and  begging

He doesn't even listen to what you're begging. More? Stop? 

Yeah well he doesn't listen anyway, he’ll do it until he wants to stop

Just hold your legs up, let him see your slutty hole and let him work

He’ll make you feel good, he always does :)

Dacryphilia  

You just look so goddamn pretty

He literally makes you cry to get to comfort you

As in comfort i mean fuck you to sleep

He doesn't do it that often but he always makes it worth it when he does

Is it bad that he likes to have you sob on his dick?

He’s not a monster tho!

Your consent is key!

(we stan a king) 

Pet play 

Puppy

He has a full leash for you

But when he feel especially cold he makes you eat on the floor 

And out of a bowl :(

But only when he’s in a seriously bad mood, but just having you listen to him so weak makes him feel so much better!

Just let him indulge in this, it makes him feel better that he’s in control 

Extra little thing for tsumu

He records you two 

He doesn't even bother to put them in a hidden folder either

They are just in between all the regular pictures

AND he screenshots your  your nudes, prints some of them out and tapes them to his wall

Samu thinks you look very nice :)

he his the meaning of pretty

Akaashi Keji

Toys 

He loves to have you rides dildo in front of him

Or he’ll have a bullet vibrator in you while grocery shopping.

He plugs you up anytime he’s not in you. 

You can bet that if he’s not fucking you you're either fucking yourself, or being fucked by a little machine

And there is a method to his madness

But he will never tell you

He does all of this to see you, he likes to watch you and all your faces

You just look so adorable clenching your eyes shut and blabbering about nothing 

He just like basking in your beauty  

Oh he is so precious (and so are you) 

Light bondage 

He really only does this to show control

He can't let you get too full of yourself now

You’re still all his.

And he’ll put you in your place any second

He gives you control, and you need to play by the rules

If not. He’ll just tie you up and not look at you for as long as he see fits

You should’ve just listened to him

Cockwarming  

Akaashi is constantly working!

Sometimes he just wants you near him when he gets his work done

You’re also a calming factor to him

Sometimes he get so stressed and can only respond to it by thrusting into you a few times and kissing hickeys into your neck

But after the first time, he fell in love with it!

Watching a movie? 

He wants to be in you

But he’ll hug you close and press you against him, and he’ll cuddle into you

You guys have even fallen asleep while doing it

(oh to fall asleep while cockwarming Akaashi) 

Cuckolding  

Again, he works so much

And sometimes he just doesn’t have the energy to fuck you :(

Well thankfully, he has a best friend who is always very pent up and ready to fuck!

He could tell you weren't sure at first but after him reassuring it was fine and being non-stop fucked for 3 hours by a professional volleyball player

He could tell you liked it. 

So, when he feels like he won't make you feel as good as he can, Bokuto is already on the phone walking out of his apartment!

like a little potted plant

Kenma Kozume

Cockwarming 

Gamer boy wants you as close to you for as long as possible. 

Sometimes he resents that he streams because he can't have you on his dick

You also help to manage his game ginger

When you're there he doesn't yell as much or throw is controller 

Instead he places the remote down, he takes a deep breath and hugs you

He’s like a cat when he gets like this

He’ll be nestled in your neck- practically purring

Before continuing his game.. 

Cuckolding 

In simple terms 

He likes watching Kuroo fuck you

Like he REALLY likes seeing Kuroo dick you down

We all know he’s not the confrontational type, so when you’re being bad, his only opinion is to call his best friend

He cat tell you like it too because you take any chance you can to act up

But he always makes sure they you know your all his before the end of the night. 

Photography 

Being someone whose life revolves around social media 

It is absolutely no surprise that he likes to have visal pieces of you to take with him wherever he goes. 

 He specifically likes mirror nudes, with those cat ear thigh highs that he got you.

You remember one time he went on a trip to another city and asked you to send him some stuff

And in return he sent a little video of him jacking off, and thus it became a tradition every time you were away from the other. 

Slight Pet play

Mostly leashes collars and pet names. 

he does not take it that far,but he likes to know his kitten listens to him.  

The worst it got was when he put a dog leash on you and walked you around the apartment when Kuroo was over

You did receive the teasing of your life but good kittens don't speak

And you oh so desperately wanted to be a good Kitten for Kenma. 

tounge

Semi Eita

Under the influence 

You and I both know this man smokes-

And smoking just happens to make him horny

Like really horny

And if you're there next to him he’s not gonna jack off??

You guys have sex almost every time he smoke

And when you smoke? 

Oh he just cant help himself, you look so pretty eyes glazed over 

He’ll make you say so so much better. 

Recording

He has a folder on his computer

And another on his phone

And all saved to his cloud

Of what? 

Videos of you fucking

And a select few of sucking his dick

And what does he do with all of these? 

He watches them, sometimes with you in the room

Like you too are hanging out and suddenly he’s on his computer watching you bounce on his dick. 

Nudes

Clearly he likes to have you naked on a screen somewhere

And when he’s in public he can't exactly start watching homemade porn

so , he has a solution!

Make you send as many nudes as you can before he has to go out!

He has no shame for it either

One of your more “artistic” photos became his lockscreen

Which you begged him to remove considering his bandmates had begun to make comments about it. 

Hair pulling 

He does it all the time

And he does it  so hard too

Every time he hits from behind

His hand is on your head and already pulling 

Or when you suck him off

I'll pull your hair up, then push your whole head back down 

And repeat. 

oh my god i am in love with him

Shirabu Kenjiro

Degradation 

This man has a mouth

And a mean one 

AND a killer attitude

And he spares you none of that. 

He ridicules and demands, dehumanizes, and you love it

“Admit you’re just a whore, getting off on being a hole. Disgusting” 

Over the weekends, why you have nothing to do, he makes you stay around the house completely naked 

“You're flaunting all you have like a prostitute, that's what you want right? O be used like a street whore?” 

He’s just a mean guy :p

Humiliation

It just makes sense at this point

He really likes to makes you take off your panties when you wear skirts in public

Then he likes to have you bend down and grab things for him

Or 

He’ll have you sit, man spreading, but the catch is there is a huge hole in your pants, so anyone at the right angle can see everything. 

Of course none of this goes without witty comments and insults from bang boy. 

Bondage 

He loves having you weak in front of him

It’s a total power trip for him

Like everything the two of you do, it consist of you being a good whore and him being a big ole meanie

He’ll leave you tied up for hours with a fuck machine pounding your poor hole

Or hell have you with a spider gag in and he’ll make you grind into the floor

He’ll laugh at you 

Record you and he’s even sent videos of youtube some of his old teammates

This one time, he had you tied up to your bedpost and just left, he walked out of the room and you didn't even know how long it was until he came back. 

Pet play

You were mouthing off to him? Oh no they won't do

He pretty much uses it as leverage against you

Good pets so mouth off do they? 

No? What I thought.

Its a form of punishment mostly

Keeping you kneeling on the floor below him for hours while he studies

He makes you eat down there

And he’ll pet your head, but if you even think about leaning into it, he’ll stop 

He’s so mean :(

bird boiiiii

Kanji Koganegawa

Pegging 

He’s a baby

A pretty baby, that anyone would like a chance to ruin. 

He probably didn't even know what is was and still agreed, but no he begs for it

And who are you to deny your baby? 

It was kinda hard at first considering he was so big, but you managed, and are very good at making him cum, like really really good. 

Hand kink 

He really just likes to see how much bigger his hands are 

He’ll grab your handd and thread your fingers together, your hands are just so soft, opposite of his

He also likes to stick his fingers in your mouth and likes when he gets to suck on yours. 

Ddlb / Dmlb

There is no explanation other then he’s baby

And he needs to be taken care of, before he dose something stupid 

And you love taking care of your overgrown baby :)

He’s all smiley and cute when you do!

How could you resist? 

his grandpa is hotter but whatever 

you didnt see that.

Keishin Ukai

Public sex

In his store 

On the counter

Five Minutes before closing time 

It cannon

It's the risk factor for him, anyone can just walk in and see you fall apart on his cock

It's actually happened before, Shin wanted to do it and you agreed but didn't expect Takeda to waltz in and look directly at you. 

Yeah he immediately came then shoved you onto the floor to hide you from Ittetsu’s prying eyes

Daichi has also heard the two of you fucking in the gym storage closet, but chose not to say anything. 

Barebacking

It's like a primal urge to him

Condoms are annoying ang time consuming, you guys are gonna be together anyways might as well let him fill you like a good fuck toy

When he cums in you he also doesn't let you clean it out

He makes you stand there, face three inches away from your core, and watches his cum drip from you

Condoms won't let him do that, will they?

Humiliation

I mean he’s into fucking you in public, so this is pretty much a must at this point

He puts you in these positions so you have no choice but to be embarrassed

I mean what kind of slut like getting fucked in plain sight?

When you go out with him he makes you wear all these ridiculous outfits that practically show everything

And he makes fun of you when they look! 

Pornography 

Yes as in homemade porn

Why would he keep you all to himself?

Everyone deserves to experience that

And people love you!

If the thousands of comments and requests say anything about it!

oh to do that to Maddog

Yahaba Shigeru

Choking 

We all saw the scene with Maddog 

Come on, he’ll do that to anyone

I feel like he just likes seeing his hands around your neck. 

He likes how fail you are and how is ands just wrap around your neck

He knows where to squeeze too

He’ll hold your pressure point to the pint you think your gonna pass out

Light BDSM

Nothing to crazy, he likes having you tied up and ready that's all

Maybe eagle spread on the bed?

Or hell have you kneeling next to him, arms tied behind your back mouth ready and opened

The possibilities are endless

Fingering 

He likes his hands- 

But it's mostly about you

Seeing your hole up close

It sucking his fingers, like a good hole should

Plus he has better control with his fingers, so he hits all the good spots over and over until yout crying <3

[fanficwritinggremlin]

Narcos: Alternative Scenario Season 3

Part 2

Tag list: @leylinefiction @lettherebrelight @clonesupport @seltsamkind @spacebaby1 @maevesdarling @mirabee @mmasalva @mari0217 @mariabolivar12 @alices-halcyon @ashlingnarcos @thesolotomyhan @kesskirata @narcolini @narcos-narcosmx @frostingguruu @fleurfatale89 @jamesfllint @love-affair-with-fandoms @lulalottee @emofairyprincessofarkansas @cositapreciosa @aschera-hunter @lene-ah @mental-bycatch @nicolethered @lexisgraceh @mariasabana @enchantingeggslimepeanut @nervousfestivalpastaalmond @guitita @artemiseamoon @shnadaidas @anna596903 @mobiushusband @curlsinaclip @tripfairground @unicorn-cloud @starfishkl

WARNINGS: deaths of characters, angst, grief, self-hatred, cursing, alcohol use… I don’t know what else, we will see.

A/N: The reader of the story is a Colombian police officer who works in the Technical Services. Not paired with anyone of the show, she is the younger sister of Colonel Martinez. Also, the story takes place after Gilberto Rodriguez’s arrest, how long after? That depends on the part of the story. This is an alternative ending for Colonel Hugo Martinez, as the writers didn’t really satisfy me with theirs.

SUMMARY: The Cali Cartel wants to get revenge for Gilberto, who has been arrested by Colonel Martinez, and they get to come up with a sinister idea…

Somewhere in 1983

You were at work, having to deal with narcotraffickers in Medellin and the dumbass DEA agents that were assigned to do the same. Hugo Jr was at your mother’s house –you and his father were siblings from different mothers- and your beloved brother was chasing rebels in the jungles of Colombia without giving a sign of life. Your first year of everything: work, grief for your sister-in-law, away from your brother, babysitting your nephew almost alone –thank God you had your mother alive so that you could balance work and an 11 year old child.

While having a little amount of spare time, you would call to check out on your nephew. However, there was a problem. No one was answering the phone and that started to worry you a lot because you were trying to have your mind on both family and criminals. You were about to go crazy and your frenemy Murphy was trying to comfort you but suddenly, you exploded and left whatever you were doing, entered your car rapidly and started driving as if someone was chasing you. Steve and Javi were staring in a way like they couldn’t recognize you. You see, since the first day they met you, they knew you as a young, quiet and innocent girl. Therefore, they could never expect you to go that crazy.

When you finally arrived at your mother’s, you invaded in the house and started shouting names in order to get a response, but you could hear nothing. That shit was driving you so crazy that you started feeling like the whole world was fading away from your sight, tears were welling out of your face and you couldn’t even control your own breath. Long story short, you were going through a panic attack, pretty usual for you since a damn day, when your dear nephew was a toddler and fell from the couch while you were distracted by your sister-in-law’s voice. Even though no one scolded you, the first panic attack of yours was inevitable. Since then, you had been really overreacting when it came to babysitting and everyone in the family was worried about your mental state. You needed a psychologist, but your brother’s consolation literally saved you from completely losing your mind. This time, though, there was nobody around to help you out with this. That was what you thought, but your mother rushing from upstairs towards you proved that there was still an angel to save you.

“Oh my God, calm down daughter!” your mom was trying to comfort you while you were in her embrace.

“Where is he, mama?” you yelled at her crying.

“Upstairs, sweetheart. Please relax.”

“Relax? Are you kidding me? Why the hell were you not picking up the phone, Goddamn you?” you were shouting, while you were about to smash a vase on the floor.

That was the moment when your mother completely stopped recognizing you, her own daughter. She always knew that you were worried about little Hugo, but she had never imagined how far that concern of yours would go. She also was aware of the fact that if she tried to grab the glass object from your hand, she would be physically defeated. No, you weren’t a violent person, but when you were losing your shit, God himself was scared of you. All she could do at the moment was waiting for you to relax by yourself, while she was trying to give you some water. Not even trying to explain why she wouldn’t answer the fucking phone. Nevertheless, your temper started lowering when Hugo Jr came out of nowhere, asking if you were alright. The world had returned to your sight when you heard his voice and that made you leave the vase back to its place. Your mind was clear again and you could finally realize what was happening moments ago. Guilt was surrounding your mind and you apologized to both of them for not being able to keep your shit together.

“No need to apologize, daughter. I should have answered the phone instead of getting you to leave your work. I just… could not tell you because something happened and it was my fault. And I was afraid of telling you because I knew that you would start crying…” Your mother was trying to justify herself, a bit ashamed of looking at you.

“She is saying the truth, auntie. All I wanted is just go to the cemetery and talk to mom. So I left the house while grandma Linda was doing the chores, but on my way there I got lost and I had to find a way to get back to her, without you learning anything about it. Just don’t blame her, auntie. It was all my fault.” Hugo Jr interrupted her and started confessing to you with a look of complete guilt.

All you knew at the moment? You were feeling emotionally defeated. You couldn’t blame him for doing such a stupid thing. How could you? The boy had lost him mom due to disease and had to say goodbye to his father who was obliged to go to the jungles. All this shit in the same year. You were the only family left to raise him as long as it would last for your brother to take out the FARC. He wasn’t really feeling familiar with your mother as she was sometimes weird and not really good at raising children. You knew that firsthand, but you loved her anyways.

You slowly walked towards him and nuzzled his head in your neck. “I understand that. But please, don’t scare my heart like that again.” You whispered in his ear, trying not to break down for the second time.

Present

That angsty memory and any other of those that occurs to your mind while you were driving in despair to find a sign of life from your nephew had your soul out of your body and not even agent Feistl’s efforts to comfort you would work. Your brother was calling you to ask if you had found anything, but you were too frustrated to pick it up. That fucking memory. It was about to get repeated. You thought you were on the peak of a panic attack as you were losing control of your lungs and therefore your hands that were trying to hold the steering wheel steady. Thank God you had Chris sitting next to you, if it wasn’t for him, you would have crashed somewhere and get injured or dead.

“Maybe I should pick it up, shouldn’t I? I mean, he is a worried brother or he might have found something.” Chris said out of concern, while holding the steering wheel with you.

“Do it. Answer it.” You replied coldly.

“Colonel Martinez. Agent Chris Feistl here.”

“Have you two found anything? If not, just get back to the station.”

“Copy that, Colonel… *another phone rings* Oh… Ehm… Excuse us, sir…”

You stop the car aside, grab it and talk in a commanding manner. “Yes, please!”

“Trujillo here. Ehm…*sighs*”

“For God’s sake, Trujillo, say it! Sorry.” You yelled but you instantly calmed down, trying to control yourself for the millionth time.

“Ok… We found something... Behind the Colonel’s house... Tell him...” Trujillo stuttered, afraid of your reaction.

You hung up the phone without letting Trujillo finish his sentence and commanded Chris to inform your brother and his colleagues. Honestly, you were shivering internally out of fear and didn’t have the courage to tell Hugo what you were suspecting. You were wishing that it wasn’t anything horrible there, just Trujillo making a mistake or something that didn’t have to do with your family and should worry you that much. A children’s dark prank or just a corpse of a cat. Generally, you were trying to keep the worst possibilities out of your mind while Chris was doing what you told him to.

You finally arrived exactly where you were told to go to, coincidently and almost crashing Hugo, Steve, Javier and Daniel who were in the car next to you. But who was giving a shit about it at that moment? Everyone was worried about what would possibly be behind your brother’s house and wished that it was nothing serious. All of you started walking at a fast speed rate towards the back of the house and Goddamn it… Goddamn the Cali Cartel! You all got frozen like ice statues when you saw what you didn’t wish to. Poor little Hugo! He was laying on the ground, dead, physically hurt, surrounded by stray cats that were licking the dried blood on his body and flies that got attracted by the odor of his corpse. However, that was only the reason of your heart just shattering. What actually broke you was the reaction of your brother. He was knelt down, in front of the dead body of his son that he pulled in his arms and had it nuzzled in his neck, crying franticly over it, with Javier from behind trying his best to comfort the poor father who lost his child in such a brutal way, while Chris was holding you so that you wouldn’t collapse and break down and Murphy was keeping himself from tearing up as he couldn’t help but feel sorry as a father himself he was.

“I’m sorry, my heart. I am such a disappointment. Please, just stay here. Don’t leave me. Please…” Hugo’s grieving words could be heard, making every single person around, parent or not, understand the pain of loss again and feel terrible. Especially you, his sister, the aunt of that poor young man, who was devastated and making efforts to keep herself strong for the sake of her grieving brother. But fuck, could you? No, you could not! You had literally raised your nephew since he was a baby. You were the one to teach him the basics, like writing, reading, two languages, the numbers, good manners… all of that when his parents did not have pretty much time to do that. You were the person to help him deal with his bullies at the first days of school. You were the one to teach him about the radios and the whole technology before he started taking these technical classes. You were the only person he had for the first three years he was grieving his mom. You and his father made him feel useful in the Technical Services when he was doubting himself. But all of this… for what? For what? Just for him to get murdered and deserted behind his father’s house like he was some kind of trash! You were feeling that every single effort that was put on him by you and everyone who loved him was a waste of time and life.

Your face was a complete piece of ice because of the shock and your attempt to keep yourself emotionless. But a wave of Daniel’s hand and a piece of thick paper snatched from Hugo that Trujillo handed you brought you back to the world you were actually living in- you wish you weren’t, though. It was covered by blood and the darkness wasn’t really helpful for you to read, so you took a flashlight out of the car and aimed it at the paper, which was saying:

“That was for arresting Gilberto. However, we told him to save himself and his family, but guess what? He was as stubborn as you are. Maybe we would never think of touching this one if you hadn’t made an operation over your dear son. And perhaps, if Captain Calderon hadn’t recommended him to us. Personally,

Miguel and David Rodriguez”

That’s it. You were already done with this nightmare. Everyone was guilty in your mind. The Cartel, Calderon who told them about your brother, the government that had been their ally since day one, the entire shitty world, reality and even yourself. You wished you were the one dead instead of Hugo Jr. You thought that if it had gone like that, your brother would suffer less and everything would be better. You see, you were a child of an extramarital affair and you were never loved by your father, your mom was doing her best to give you what he didn’t want. Therefore, you always had thought that your brother hated your existence and saw you as the reason of his parents’ divorce, which was something that you as well believed and made you insecure. That’s exactly why your nephew wasn’t really confident about himself his entire life. He had taken this after you and knew your whole backstory and was trying to make you believe that you deserved something beautiful in this world. Thing is? So fucking did he! But David took that from him because he wanted to make his arrogant father proud, cover his own insecurities and become greater than everyone around him.

Your mind was turning into a mess while having that shitty note in your grasp. You didn’t have the mental strength you needed to comfort Hugo and convince him that none of this was his fault. It wouldn’t help him after all. So all you were able to do at the moment was walk away from the scene and the people around you to get the pain and sorrow out of your soul, otherwise you would explode in front of everyone and everything would be worse. However, you had Murphy following you and trying to prevent you from smashing the cars from your anger and despair.

“Listen. I may not understand what you are going through, but…” Steve was trying to calm you down, but it wouldn’t work.

“Why the fuck? Why? He didn’t deserve this!” you started yelling and crying with no control of yourself.

“Please, just…”

“No! I cannot just relax, Murphy! My nephew is dead and my brother will be suffering for the rest of his fucking life…healing a pain that will never fade away! And I cannot do anything for that because I am not strong enough!” you interrupted him while hitting the car window with your whole force.

“I know you are hurt. But please… try to stay strong. Both of you have to. That’s what the little Martinez would want. You know that, for real.” Steve kept begging calmly, trying to lower your temper as much as he could.

Steve’s attempts to comfort you started to have an effect on you. Your anger levels were slowly going down, you were regaining your strength, cleared your teared face, when you got pulled in his embrace. The two of you went back to where everyone else was, then you knelt next to Hugo and hugged him from behind, trying to be his anchor at the moment. After all, he desperately needed that. And so did you. When the mourning was finally over, you led him to the front of his house to rest and after that, you dealt with the typical police stuff.

The next evening…

There was dead silence in the house. Completely different from how it used to be when you were younger and your sister-in-law was still alive. Nothing was the same anymore, and it was saddening you, while you started feeling nostalgic and missing the beautiful memories of your childhood and teenage life, with an old ruined teddy bear into your arms, your face nuzzled on its head and a mini bottle of whiskey in one of your hands that was half empty. You were trying to drown your grief in alcohol, but each sip was either an old memory or the picture of the corpse of Hugo Jr. Your mind was being lost, the world was falling apart again in your own point of view and everything in general was going to hell. Your heart was broken to you and you weren’t able to keep it anymore. All you could do was just lie on the bed and cry out everything that was torturing you internally with your eyes tightly shut. But being silent while doing that was truly difficult if not impossible, which made you bite the teddy, lucky that your teeth weren’t falling out of your mouth.

You suddenly felt a hand caressing your arm softly and a pair of lips kissing your head, which made you sit up and clean your face when you saw your brother. “I’m sorry…Hugo. I…didn’t notice…”

But a sign of his hand while he was sitting on the bed got you shushed. “You apologize for feeling pain for his loss? Just because I was his father and you his aunt…it doesn’t mean that I am the only one allowed to cry openly. He meant a lot to both of us, not only me. I am the one supposed to apologize.”

You took a sip of the liquid in your hand, frustrated from his last words. “Stop it! Don’t blame yourself, for God’s sake! None of this was your fault! You did what you had to…and nobody expected this to happen. When are you gonna understand this?” you started shouting, but after a couple of seconds, you apologized out of shame.

He was about to answer to your intense words, when the door started ringing. You thought that it was Murphy or Javier to say “sorry for your loss” and stuff, so you jumped out of the bed and got downstairs to open, without even looking at the eye of the door. But…none of these two dumbasses were in front of you. It was even worse, Calderon. What the fuck was he doing here? He firstly threatened Hugo that he would be out of line, called him a dumbass and long story short, disrespected him. And he was here for what now? For another quarrel or something? You weren’t really glad with his presence.

“What the hell do you want now? Another argument? Please. Just get lost already!” you commanded him without allowing him to say anything.

“Before you start cursing me, let me explain…I was informed about what happened and…” he tried to justify his visit, but you didn’t buy a single word.

“Explain what? That you gave them my nephew so that you could punish my brother after you failed to save Gilberto from jail? That you don’t give a single fuck about anything but your own ego? That you pretend to be the savior of Cali when in reality, you work for them? Which one of these you want to explain? Talk, you…”

But your brother’s steps interrupted you from calling Calderon a bitch. “Who are you yelling at?” he asked before seeing the other man standing in front of you.

“Apologies for bothering, Colonel. I just wanted to say that I am sorry for your loss, but your sister…”

“My sister what? Started yelling at you when she saw one of the people who were responsible for my son’s death? Our own suffering? Can you blame her for that?” Hugo inquired calmly, something that neither you nor Calderon expected.

“I don’t understand. Why would you think that I had something to do with this?” Calderon started acting stupid.

That was the moment when you started feeling raw hate for a cop, especially someone superior to you. You already had your fist tight, ready to punch him, but you decided to control yourself this time. “Don’t sweat it. Miguel and David made sure that we would learn about you. I should be surprised with your audacity to step here and pretend to be sorry for what we are going through after leading my brother’s son to his demise, but for a reason, I am not.” You told him in the most preserved manner you could without much physical distance between the two of you, having Hugo stare at you like…he really waited for you to throw your fists and be violent.

“You may not expect to hear that, but I am not pretending to be anything. Not at that moment, at least. I admit that I gave the younger Martinez to David. Yes, I did that, but not for punishment. David…he started threatening me and my family after Gilberto went to prison and wanted revenge from me. And that’s how your son came to their mind, Colonel. But I never expected them to kill him, I swear. My family learned about this, and they left me. I have no chances of being forgiven, redeemed…” Calderon was trying to explain.

“If you really made your way to Bogota just to explain yourself, we are pleading you to leave. Neither my sister nor I are in the mood to listen to your excuses. I don’t really know about her, but I can forgive you. It’s the best punishment for what you have caused. ”Hugo requested while leading him out of the house and went to his bedroom after giving you a soft kiss on the forehead.

However, you were thinking. What if Calderon was saying the truth, just for once? What if he actually regretted for everything he did? Did Hugo really mean his forgiveness or he just wanted to get rid of him? You couldn’t be sure about anything these days. Nothing was how it seemed or how you remembered it. But what you were certain for at the moment was the fact that you were feeling terribly tired. Were you surprised, though? The last night’s incident, your mental state, alcohol, the brief conversation with Calderon, your frustration. You were so about to fall asleep on the floor, that you decided that sleeping in the couch would be a great idea.

[jimlingss]

Sugar and Coffee [19]

Chapter 18 - Chapter 19 - Chapter 20

➜ Words: 4.6k

➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU

➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.

cr.

“You guys are together now?!”   There’s a high-pitched, deafening shout that has you flinching. On sheer instinct, you’re about to let go of his hand, but you feel Jungkook’s grip tighten on yours instead, squeezing your palm securely. You glance at him with your brows raised and he merely shrugs.    “What? This?” Jungkook lifts your interlaced hands up to your shoulders, showing it off right in front of Taehyung’s face. He teases, “Friends can hold each other’s hands.”   “You don’t let me hold your hand when I ask,” Taehyung argues with a scoff.    The tall brunette is left utterly confused and soon, Jimin is joining the trio. He greets all of you with a bright smile but almost immediately, his eyes stray downwards to your interlocked hands as well. Yet Jungkook shamelessly maintains it in spite of the obvious attention it's bringing, even to your classmates and acquaintances passing by the hallway.   Jimin’s grin widens. “Are you guys datin—”   “I already asked.” Taehyung cuts off. “They’re just being weird.”   “Oh.” The shorter man’s lips become lopsided with his frown and he sends an incredulous expression to Jungkook that only makes said man laugh. Jimin turns around anyhow. “Yoongi and Hoseok are already in the dining center. Do you guys have any classes today?”   “No, I think they’re just doing orientation for the newbies.”   “You weren’t this excited to tell your parents,” you lean over to whisper into Jungkook’s ear when the pair of you naturally fall behind the two boys.   “Well, they’re my parents. I’d rather spare the both of us from….that,” he explains and then smiles. “But is it such a bad thing if everyone here knows? It’ll stop people from making moves on you.”   “Moves on me?” You scoff. If anything, it should be the opposite. Jungkook’s always been popular with everyone without even having to try. But you suppose it would be rather helpful if everyone knew that he was taken. It might just save you from a lot of headaches. So you don’t protest further.   Yoongi and Hoseok are easy to find in the dining center. They’re at the usual table and it’s like time hasn’t passed whatsoever. Yoongi is picking at his food and chewing gingerly as if it's exhausting for him to do so while Hoseok is tapping on his phone.    They look up when you approach.   “Long time, no see.” Hoseok grins as Jimin settles beside him with an equally warm smile.   “What are you talking about? The group chat has been blowing up because of this guy.” He hitches his thumb to Taehyung who is wholly offended.   “It’s not my fault I want to share the cute dogs I come across with everyone.”   “Haven’t you muted the chat?” Jimin asks Yoongi with a small laugh, not expecting an answer when he already knows it.    Taehyung is exasperated that no one answered his messages during the last week of the break and that Yoongi could possibly have the heart to ghost everyone — accusations the sleepy man doesn’t even respond to. In the meanwhile, Jungkook sighs at how his friends are already making a loud ruckus and ruffles your hair as he gets up from the table. He asks what you want for breakfast and then returns shortly with two trays of food.   It’s when he sits down that Yoongi raises his head again.   “So, how long have you guys been together?”   “We’re not together—” Jungkook answers without missing a single beat.   “Cut the crap,” Yoongi deadpans, halting his chewing. “It’s too goddamn early for this bullshit.”   “What?” Jungkook’s grin is swelled across his face. “Can’t best friends kiss each other sometimes?”   Hoseok’s eyes are enormous, having no idea where this is coming from. Jimin is sitting on the edge of his seat, anxious for the transpiring events. Taehyung is utterly befuddled but Yoongi, on the other hand, wears a completely blank expression. The lethargic man is wholly unimpressed.   Jungkook bursts out laughing. “Okay, okay. It’s true. We’re dating.”   Immediately, there’s an uproar. But it’s mostly from Taehyung. “I knew it! I knew it!”    Jungkook laughs and argues back with a ‘no, you didn’t’.    At the same time, Jimin is smiling tenderly and giggling at his friend’s reaction. Hoseok is grinning as well and even the corner of Yoongi’s mouth quirks. The latter man mumbles that it’s about damn time and you’re sheepishly smiling as your face heats under the attention.   Jimin curiously asks, “When did this happen?”   “In Tahiti,” you answer. “Somewhere along there…”   “So it’s been like two months and you never thought to tell us?!” Taehyung is once again exasperated, shaking his head like he can’t believe it.   “It’s only been a month and a half,” Jungkook says as he throws a fry into his mouth, chewing in his cheek. “We wanted to see where it would go and stuff…”   “Obviously it went well enough that you two are still together,” Yoongi points out.   “I think it’s going well.” You turn to Jungkook. “Don’t you?”   “It’s been going awfully,” he remarks in sarcasm, making you scoff. Laughter bubbles out of his chest and he leans over to gently knock his head against yours. “I’m kidding. Kidding.”   “Wait, does this mean you two are going to be cute and gross together now?” Taehyung’s face wrinkles into a frown.    “Of course they are,” Hoseok laughs. “It’s a requirement.”   “No, we won’t make things weird,” you protest. “Promise.”   “They’ve always been gross together,” Yoongi mutters with his mouth-full, pointing his wooden chopsticks at him and completely ignoring what you’ve said. “Haven’t you noticed?”   “Congratulations, you two,” Jimin speaks sincerely with his eyes crinkled into half-moons.   “Thanks.” You laugh, leaning into Jungkook. “I lucked out, really.”   Your boyfriend clicks his tongue in annoyance. “I’m the one who lucked out.”   “Ugh.” Taehyung’s nose wrinkles and he feigns disgust. If anyone looked any more satisfied right now, it was him. You suppose to outsiders, your relationship with Jungkook was a long time coming. “They’re being gross already. Go get a room.”   You scoff at him and turn to Hoseok. “Is Aeri coming?”   “She isn’t,” he says simply without looking you in the eye, “She and I broke up.”   “What?” Several heads whirl over, the focus now brought onto him.    This was new news too — information that was much more bitter.   “Yeah, it happened during the summer.” Hoseok offers a tiny, reserved smile. He keeps his head down low and that’s only when you notice the darkened circle underneath his eyes, the sickly colour of his skin and his disheveled hair. “It just….didn’t really end up working out.”   “Oh.”   “Why didn’t you tell us?” Jimin asks gently as Taehyung automatically puts his brownie onto Hoseok’s food tray in an attempt to make him feel better.   “It just happened a week ago. Honestly—” He sits back. “—I’m still trying to process it, so yeah.”   Yoongi reaches over, stiffly patting him on the back. “It’s going to be alright, dude.”   The corners of his lips pull a bit. “Thanks.”   You could’ve never fathomed it. They got together long before you and Jungkook did, but you always thought that they would work out. Someone as bubbly as Hoseok with someone as kind and timid as Aeri, it seemed like a match that you wouldn’t think twice about.   To hear that they’ve split is shocking. But you don’t pry for details when it’s their personal business. You don’t try to figure out what exactly happened when it was the last thing you wanted to talk about when you experienced it yourself. But you’re also not sure how to feel.   And Jungkook picks up on it when you’re quiet for some time.   “Are you alright?” He syncs his slow steps into yours as the pair of you head back to your dorms together.   “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking.” After a beat, you turn to look at your boyfriend. Your eyes meet one another’s. “What happens if we break up, Jungkook?”   “Then we break up.” Jungkook takes your hand. “But we’d still be okay.”   “You think so?”   “I didn’t start off this relationship with being your boyfriend. Frankly, I didn’t want to be your friend at all—”   “Hey.”   “—but we were friends, so it’ll stay that way.”   You sigh, keeping your eyes trained forward. You squeeze his hand securely. “You make it sound so easy. It isn’t.”   “I know, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try to make things work.” He moves his fingers to interlace with yours and comforts your worries, “So you don’t have to worry. Every relationship is different, right? Ours is unlike anyone else's as theirs are not like ours...if that makes any sense.”   “No, it does.” You share a smile with him.   You don’t know if it’ll last — but at this moment, you want to savour every second with Jungkook.   //   You catch sight of a familiar girl across the dining hall during dinner, and with one glance given to your boyfriend, he responds with a reassuring nod, having already followed your line of sight.   So instead of sitting at the usual table, you confidently beeline straight for her. And you take your place across from the girl.   Aeri lifts her chin, surprise written across her expression. “Y/N?”   “Hey, how’s it going?” You smile, taking your utensils and beginning to eat. “I hope this seat isn’t taken.”   “N-No, it isn't.” She peeks over her shoulder for a second and then looks back at you, blinking several times. “It’s going well. How about you?”   “Same old, nothing really ever changes.” You backtrack when Jungkook sticks out in your mind. “Well….a few things, but anyway, how was your internship?”   “It was good. Great.” Aeri gives a softened smile that’s sad around the edges. She’s playing with her food without eating it. Her voice sounds thick like she’s been crying. “I learned a lot and the people there were pretty nice.”   “You worked at a restaurant, right?”   “Yeah.” She names it and some small talk is made about internships. Afterwards, you discuss your summers and how traveling went.    With time, Aeri seems to ease up again.   And when there’s a few seconds of silence, you decide to address the elephant in the room. “I heard you and Hoseok broke up….”   “Yeah, it was mutual.” The corners of her mouth move stiffly like she’s been training to smile naturally. Her eyes meet yours. “Thank you for sitting with me and keeping me company.”   “Of course I would. You’re my friend,” you reply earnestly. “Why wouldn’t I?”   “It’s just…” The girl shifts uncomfortably in her seat, not sure if she should utter the truth. “You’re friends with Hoseok too, so I thought you would side with him.”   You adamantly shake your head. “I don’t side with anyone. It’s not fair to leave someone out because of another relationship and plus, you were my friend first.” You place your foot down, fist slamming on the table and while it startles the girl, genuine laughter streams from her. “I know what it feels like too, so I would never do that to someone else.”   Aeri nods, eyes glossy. “Thank you.”   “It’s not a problem.” Your arm stretches over the table, hand placed on top of her’s. “If you ever need me, I’ll be here.”   It’s déjà vu. An out-of-body experience. To be sitting across from someone who’s gone through something akin to what you have, it feels like you’re looking at your past self. A reflection of you more than half a year ago. And you reach out to her as you wished someone did to you. As Jungkook had done to you.   You realize that he was there when you needed someone most and it makes you glad he became a part of your life when he did.

It’s another one of those days — of you and Jungkook lying on his bed, tapping away on your phones. The pair of you were cuddling until you each got bored and reached for your phones. And Jungkook got uncomfortable in his position and rolled over, so you’re both squished on his tiny bed, laughing every once in a while and showing one another funny memes or videos.   It’s a luxury that won’t last for long. Once you’re both into the semester, it’ll be textbooks in your hands instead of phones and you’ll be sitting up, scratching your heads, being driven crazy with theories that don’t make sense and forced to memorize countless recipes.   So you enjoy this sleepy relaxation while you can.   “Hey.” Your eyes stray away from your screen to his walls and your brows furrow as a question comes to mind. “Who do you like more? IU or me?”   There’s a long silence.   The silence draws on.   Your arm lowers and your head shifts onto the pillow to look at him. Jungkook is staring at the ceiling. And the silence continues. One second — ten seconds — thirty seconds...   Your brows lift. “Seriously?”   “What? It’s like asking me to choose between my mom and dad.”   “Did you just compare me to your mom?”   Jungkook laughs too loudly, too stiffly. “I-I’m kidding. Of course I would choose you.”   He reaches over to plant a kiss on your cheek, but you dodge, sitting up. You give him an incredulous expression, hovering over your boyfriend. “You’re a terrible liar.”   He grins, sitting up as well. “Are you jealous?”   “That my boyfriend would rather get together with a celebrity than me? Nope,” you pop the ‘p’ harshly, making him giggle. “Not at all. Why would I be?”   “Jieun’s been a part of my life for longer…..” Jungkook says, then laughs again and tries to backtrack. “But obviously I still love you more because you’re actually here.”   “But if she were here..?” you ask him and when it gets quiet again, you reach out to pinch and tickle his side. Jungkook squirms, laughing even harder while you grin.    It’s not like you were actually upset or irrational enough to be jealous over a celebrity crush. You’ve long known about his fanboying hobby and love for IU after all. It’s just fun to tease him. “You gonna ditch me for Lee Jieun, huh? You think she can put up with your shit like I do?!”   “Course not!” He grips your wrists so you can stop tickling him. “I love you. But if she were to kick down the door when we’re getting married, I might just have to go with her. Might.”   “Okay.” You relent. “Fine. I’ll admit, if she asked me to go with her, I’d go too, so she can be your hall pass.”   “Hall pass?” Jungkook grins. “Who’s yours?”   You hum, tapping your chin in contemplation. But it doesn’t take you long to choose. “Song Joongki. He’s handsome, he’s kind, he’s rich.”   “And how does that help?”   “Well, maybe he’ll fall in love with me and want to get married — then I’d get rich.” It’s his turn to be put in disbelief, but you have no reservations. “Song Joongki has great proportions too. Have you seen his legs? And have you seen his face? I wouldn’t be surprised if he was an angel who descended down on this planet to bless us all. He’s just so boy-next-door one second and then like handsome-handsome the next. I wouldn’t mind if he wanted to sweep me off my feet. He’s just so charming in everything he does, like—”   “Alright, Alright.” Jungkook puts his hand on your face. “I get it.”   You peel his palm off with a pout. “Hey, you get your crushes and I get mine.”   “I know.” He pushes your shoulder lightly and you let yourself fall back onto his mattress. Jungkook moves to hover over you, smiling at your quiet obedience in spite of your defiant exterior. You’re all bark, but no bite.    “Jealous?” You cock your head to the side, lip pulling up to a smirk.   Jungkook scoffs. “It’s not like you’ll ever get to meet him.”   “Don’t ruin my dreams.”   Jungkook smiles, unaware of how wrong he would soon be. But for now, there’s not a single ounce of worry or concern in him. He knows Song-fucking-Joongki would never know how amazing you are. And it’s unfortunate since you might actually blow the actor away.    He’ll never have you smiling at him, pouting at him, underneath him and crying out his name. But it’s okay — Jungkook doesn’t mind taking one for the team and having you all to himself.   //   There’s a loud ruckus and it’s early too.    Jungkook has never felt more like Yoongi. He wonders if this is how the man feels every single morning. Tired and exhausted and having to hear high-pitched screeches only irks him even more and unintentionally puts him in a sour mood. It was just too loud and too much of everything.   “What’s going on?”   Taehyung turns to him, arms crossed. For once, the brunette is wholly unenthusiastic. “Dude, I was texting you all morning. Did you not check your messages?”   “I might or might not have muted you like Yoongi did.” There are girls gathered and a few boys as well, a whole crowd of people standing together and blocking the way to the dining hall. The sound of murmuring fills the corridor. “Is someone giving out something for free?”   “No.” Taehyung sighs. “You know the actor, Song Joongki? He’s here.”   “What?”   “Beats me.” The tall brunette shrugs. “Apparently he’s sponsoring the university and making a donation to promote culinary arts. It probably has something to do with the commercials he’s been doing. I don’t know. They were trying to keep it on the down low but someone leaked it over Twitter that he was visiting and now everyone knows.”   Jungkook is stunned.   For a moment, he wonders if you’re actually a witch. It was just too convenient considering the jesting conversation he had with you nights ago. Or perhaps it was the damned world wanting him to eat his own words. But whatever the case is, Jungkook isn’t able to dwell for long.   Suddenly, the sea of students split, gasps and screams echoing down the hall. There are professors leading the way with the Dean, ushering students to move aside. There’s one or two bodyguards as well, their arms stretched to keep the actor safe. But as Jungkook stands there at a distance with his friend, he manages a far away peek at the dark-haired actor in his black suit as he passes with a small, polite smile and his head dipped.    Holy shit. You were right.   He’s handsome — but even more so in real life.   “Oh my god. Was that him?! I didn’t get a good look.” — “That was him!” — “He’s so cute!”   Everyone is fawning over Song Joongki. And even Jungkook, who doesn’t have a particular taste for men, can appreciate the actor.    “My mom loves him. Maybe I should get her an autograph.” Taehyung thinks about it for a second and then shakes his head. “Nah. That’s too much work. Let’s just go eat.”   The crowd moves past and Jungkook catches sight of a very familiar mop of head in the midst of the horde of people — a girl whose eyes are wide and excited.    But his own damn girlfriend doesn’t even notice him.    Instead, you’re holding Aeri’s hand and hopping up and down. “C’mon, Aeri! We’ll get a better look up front.”   Taehyung bursts out laughing as the corridor finally clears. “Was that just Y/N?”   Jungkook sighs lightly with a sheepish smile. “Yep.”   The dining hall has never been so quiet and empty. It’s eerie, almost like someone bought the place out to have a private buffet of sorts.   Jungkook finds Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi already seated at the table — somehow they had squeezed themselves through the crowd. Everyone greets each other with raised brows, silence desirable after the whole commotion. But Taehyung, on the other hand, is enjoying Jungkook’s astonishment too much.   “Looks like Song Joongki is also Mr. Steal Your Girl. Guess where Y/N is.”   “She left you?” Yoongi is stunned and then starts chuckling.   “She didn’t leave me.”   “Well can you blame her?” Hoseok pipes up. “He’s pretty handsome. My sister was a fan of him in Descendants of the Sun.”   “Really?” Jimin nods. “I liked him more in Innocent Man.”   “I said she didn’t leave me,” Jungkook repeats in exasperation. “And it’s whatever, he’s her hall pass anyway.”   That remark surprises all his friends. “So you don’t care?”   Jungkook shrugs. The boy slurps up his noodles, not paying much mind. “It would be fucking impressive.” And he means it. If his girl can charm on Song-fucking-Joongki, he’d be impressed.   You should do whatever it takes to live your best life and he’ll always root for you. Meeting Song Joongki is probably your dream come true anyway, so he has no reason to stop you and doesn’t want to. “It would be a one in a lifetime chance, so why not?”   “Wow.” Hoseok nods, impressed at the carefree attitude and how secure Jungkook is.   “Speak of the devil….”   You appear in the dining center, running at full speed, grabbing some toast. At the last second, you spot Jungkook and your eyes light up. You sprint over. “Hey!” You plop a kiss at the top of your boyfriend’s head, making him grin. “Did you guys see him?!”

“Sure did.”   “We saw him alright.”   “I’m just grabbing some food for Aeri and I but he’s going to the kitchens later and Miss. Kang says she’s going to introduce a group of us as the baking students!” You’re shrieking for joy, jumping up and down. Yoongi winces at the noise and gives you a dirty look, but it makes Jungkook giggle. You turn to him. “You don’t mind, do you?”   “Why would I?” He grins and encourages, “Go get it! I believe in you.”   You nod, running along and he watches your backside with a softened smile.   Out of nowhere, Taehyung snickers. “You are so whipped.”   “Fuck off.” He continues to slurp down his noodles.   //   Song Joongki doesn’t stay for long — but it sure feels like it. All of his social media is flooded with pictures and clips of the actor being taken on a tour around campus, snapping a few selfies with fans, and real life updates every twenty seconds. Jungkook even gets a call from his aunt who caught wind of what was happening.   Jungkook, himself, is kind of over it. He’s not so starstruck and dazzled like he was earlier, but he still checks his phone every so often for your texts. It’s been silent for the entire day and he can only wonder what ended up happening.   Luckily, he doesn’t need to wait for long when nearing his bedtime, there’s a knock at his door. Jungkook opens it to see your sheepish expression and your body clad in your cotton pajamas.   “Hey, thought I would stop by.”   “Did you sneak in again?”   “It’s not sneaking when no one notices in the first place.”    He notices that you’re shivering from the chilly air outside and quickly ushers you into his small dorm room. The corner of his mouth pulls when you automatically crawl into his bed and pull the toasty covers up to your chin like you were always supposed to be there.   “So…” Jungkook turns around after shutting the door, curiosity ebbing away at him. “What ended up happening?”   “What do you mean?” You blink at him.   “Did you end up….you know….”   “No.” Your expression is blank. “I really don’t know.”   He sighs, having to explicitly word it. “Did you bed Joongki?”   There’s a long silence.    The silence draws on.    You snort. “What? You thought I was gone all this time cause I was fucking Song Joongki?”   “Listen, we agreed on each other’s hall passes. I won’t get mad. Trust me, I’d be pretty impressed, but I want to hear all the details.”   “Well, sorry to say, captain, but there isn’t any.” You pull back the corner of the covers, patting the empty spot beside you.    Jungkook doesn’t hesitate slipping into his small bed with you and he finds a comfortable position. His arm drapes over your waist, allowing the soft yellow glow of his bedside lamp to cast your shadows on his wall. There’s a beat of quietness and then you’re laughing again.   “What?”   “I can’t believe you thought I slept with Joongki.”   “So you didn’t?”   “No.” You give an incredulous look, exasperated at how dumb your boyfriend can be at times. It’s not like you were any better, but still. “You really thought I could get close enough to sleep with him? He’s an actor! He practically had twenty bodyguards around. I barely got an autograph in — which I’m framing on my wall, by the way.”   “Oh.”   “Sorry that a famous actor didn’t fuck your girlfriend,” your voice drips of sarcasm. “I didn’t mean to be such a disappointment.”   Jungkook scoffs. “Why would I be disappointed?”   “Well, you’re acting like you’re let down that I didn’t get to use my hall pass.” You’re fiddling with a loose thread at the neckline of his cotton shirt while your other arm is folded underneath your head. He stares at you. “I wouldn’t want to anyway, by the way. Thought I would just mention that. Some things are better left for fantasy. And I have you. Why would I want someone else?”   His arms curl around you, pulling you into his body. Jungkook cuddles your frame and you melt against him, smiling. “I’m not disappointed,” he teases. “He could never treat you as well as I do.”   “I don’t know about that,” you chime. “He was really handsome though.”   “Was he nice too?”   “Super. I didn’t really get to talk to him, but he listened to Miss. Kang’s entire spiel about ovens.” You pull apart a little to see him, eyes meeting. “Apparently there are rumours Joongki might come back. Who knows, he might fall in love with me this time and we might get married. You’re not invited to the wedding, by the way.”   The boy feigns offence, eyes glimmering in the low lights. “Why not?”

“It’s weird if my ex is there. I’m sure Joong-bear wouldn’t like it.”   “Joong-bear?” He raises his brows.   “It’s an inside joke,” you playfully taunt. “You wouldn’t get it.”   Jungkook scoffs, then laughs. “You best believe I would kick down the doors to the chapel and object to the marriage.”   “And what if IU showed up?”   He hums. “Polygamy is underrated.”   You giggle. “So all four of us in one marriage?”   “Sure.” Jungkook shrugs. “Even if it’s just Joongki, I wouldn’t mind if it was us three.”   “Me too. Joongki, Jieun, and me. It’s perfect.”   “I meant me.” He starts to tickle you, laughing when you do. “Did you forget about me?”   “What?” You squirm against him. “Can’t hear you.”   It’s an absolutely absurd scenario, completely unfounded and ludicrous. But Jungkook loves to be ridiculous with you.   He holds you and his eyes stray upwards onto his wall. Beside his IU’s posters are pictures of you and him — polaroids taken throughout the summer to the one bigger frame that holds the photograph at the wedding. The one where you and him are staring at each other mid-laugh after he caught you in his arms.

[softyoongiionly]

NSFW A-Z List (Mama Mia! Jungkook)

***This contains smut, 18+ only please***

“Aqua told me you all had some questions for me so, I had my assistant fax me the prompt and, I’m really hoping she didn’t read it because, these are filthy ha. I hope you all enjoy yourselves.” 

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex):

“It kind of depends on the situation but, if I just had sex, I’m in a good mood. If Y/N and I are in the bed, I make sure I change the sheets and, I make sure she’s cleaned up and, feeling good too. Sometimes we like to talk about it. A bit of pillow talk is always great. PILLOWW TALK! Do you guys remember that song by that one dude in one direction? Great song. It’s like he left one direction and, immediately needed to say the word fuck and sing about sex.” 

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s):

“This is a weird question. I like my abs? I guess? I mean I spent like a million hours in the gym trying to tone up and stuff so, it’s definitely the only thing that stands out.” 

“Y/N is the by far the most beautiful woman on the planet so, it’s a little hard to pin point one specific part of her I like the most. If I had to choose, I would say her eyes. Sometimes she looks at me and, I suddenly forget all three languages I speak. She takes my breath away. Literally, who is she looking at like that? Me? Does she value my life at all? Is she trying to kill me? Probably. I love her :-)” 

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person):

“Cum...I don’t really know what I’m supposed to talk about in this section so, I’m just gonna say- yes?? Is that the right answer?” 

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs):

“One time, when Y/N was away on business, I jerked off so much in one day, I sprained my hand. I guess that isn’t dirty but, it is embarrassing. I’d probably do it again though, I’m so spoiled that I forgot what’s its like to go without sex.” 

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?):

“Yikes this question is a little hard for me to answer. Before meeting Y/N, I had a lot of different partners. After finding out my half-brother tried to steal my recipe, I got really down on myself. I felt really empty and, I spent a lot of time partying and, hooking up with random people. I don’t really know how many if I’m being honest. It was a lot though. After awhile I kind of snapped out of it and, realized I needed to deal with my issues head on so, after a bit of therapy, I was doing a lot better. Sexually, I’ve had a lot of experience but, intimacy? That’s a lot newer for me. And let me tell you my dudes, nothing is sexier than being with someone who truly loves and cares for you. I don’t make the rules.” 

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual):

“Missionary. Listen, I know it’s a boring answer but, I’m a sucker for passion what can I say? I like watching her face and, seeing all the little expressions she makes, especially right when I first push inside of her. Also, it’s the best position for her to scratch up my back and, I really love when she does that.” 

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc):

“I don’t really find a lot of things to laugh about during sex but, I’m sure it’s happened at some point. Sex is kind of a serious thing for me now but, I wouldn’t stay serious if something funny happened because, sometimes funny things do happen. When they do, we laugh but, then I’m right back in the moment again. Y/N and I mess around a lot in our daily lives so, I like to use sex as a way to show her how serious I am about her and, our relationship.” 

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.):

“I got laser hair removal like 3 years ago. Yes, it’s possible to get it done in sensitive areas but, it’s crazy expensive. Or so I’ve heard, I’m not gonna lie to you, my idea of expensive and, other people’s idea of expensive are probably a little different. But yeah, I got it all lasered off so, it doesn’t really grow there anymore. I keep my face shaved too but, my arms and legs are free to grow all the hair they want.” 

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…):

“With Y/N, I’m a little bit of a hopeless romantic, I can’t lie. I love all of that cheesy shit. Rose petals on the bed? Yes. Wine and chocolate on the shores of our private beach? At least twice a week. Leaving Y/N little post it notes all over our villa that contain all the things I love about her? Duh. I AM A SAP. I AM A MESS. I can’t help myself. My father collects first edition classic novels and, for Valentine’s Day, I had him send me the contact of his distributor so, I could buy Y/N the first edition of The Princess Bride. It’s one of her favorites. It was only $1,400 so, I definitely got a good deal. I also had a custom gown imported from France and, a prince-like outfit made for me. What do princes even wear? What is that called? Tights? I don’t know but, I looked like a goddamn Disney prince by the time I was done getting ready. I rented a different villa out for the weekend and, my interior designer decorated it like a medieval castle. We spent the weekend playing prince and princess and, it was probably one of the best weekends of my life. So to answer your question: Yes, I am romantic.”

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon):

“I only really touch myself when Y/N is away. Her and I have a pretty consistent sex life so, we have sex almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day. I don’t really have a need for it anymore and, it doesn’t feel nearly as good as sex with Y/N.”

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks):

“I have a few. I’m really sensitive to smells so, if Y/N smells good, I can’t keep my hands off of her. She has this one perfume from Gucci that I love so much. I can get hard just from the smell; it’s kind of pathetic honestly. I love  having sex outside too. It’s a good thing we have a private strip of the beach because, if we had neighbors nearby, they would hate us ha. I have a cashmere picnic blanket that we take down there a few times a week and, we always end up making love on it. Yes, I said making love. Get over it. Oh and, if Y/N says anything about my muscles or how strong I am? Instant turn on. I think I have a praise kink? Is that what it’s called? I love Y/N’s panties too. Lace, silk, cotton, clean or dirty; I don’t discriminate, just put them in my mouth. Lol, this is getting dirty…sorry Aqua.”

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do):

“I already kind of answered this but, sex on the beach or sex on our balcony are probably my top two.”

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going):

“I feel like I answered this one too because, I just talked about my kinks but, I would say my motivation is to get my girl off right? I get off easily. I have a beautiful woman all over me, saying dirty things in my ear… I mean, my orgasm is guaranteed. Y/N doesn’t take a long time to cum anymore because; I know how to please my woman but, I still want her to feel good. I want to see her let go and, let someone else take care of her for a change. She works so hard. I want to show her what a good woman she is. I want to show her how much I love her.”

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs):

“Threesomes, anal and, I’m pretty sure this is everyone’s answer but, bodily fluids belong in the toilet.”

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc):

“Yes.”

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? Etc.):

“Both. Sometimes I want to draw it out and, let her feel every inch of me but, sometimes I want to fuck so hard we are both sore the next day. It’s all amazing either way.”

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.):

“I love quickies. They are great in the afternoon when she and I have things to do but, we still want each other. They would get old after a while though so, we usually do both. It’s very rare that we just have a quickie and, nothing else but, sometimes it happens. Ever since we moved to Greece, we try to always make time for each other but, we both get busy from time to time.”

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.):

“I’m game to experiment a little bit but, Y/N and I have been together awhile. We’ve tried a few different things but, sex with her is so amazing, I don’t feel the need to experiment that much anymore.”

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…):

“I can last forever if I need to. Like I said, my orgasm is an easy thing to obtain with a woman like Y/N so, my focus is making sure she’s feeling it too. I can go for multiple rounds too, I mean it’s hard not to. Have you seen her? We have sex all night sometimes. I hope she finishes her conference call soon, I’m really starting to miss her…”

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?):

“Y/N owns a very tasteful collection of dildos made out of rose quartz and jade. I use them on her sometimes between rounds but, I don’t know how often she uses them beyond that. I don’t own any toys but, I do spend quite a bit of money on new lingerie for Y/N. She has an entire armoire for all of her outfits. Oh, we have gold handcuffs too. We take turns using them on each other.”

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease):

“Y/N has a really sensitive spot on her neck and, she’s really tender around her waist so, sometimes I come up beyond her and, brush my lips against her throat and, tickle her. She’s told me it turns her on immediately so, I like to play with her a little bit. We both tease each other a lot though, especially during phone meetings. One time, I was on a 4 way call with my investors and, she sucked my dick through the entire thing. I thought I was gonna have a heart attack but, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cum a little harder that time. Maybe that’s another kink of mine…”

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make):

“We live on a private piece of land so; we can be as loud as we want. I’m only loud when things are getting intense but, even still I’m not screaming at the top of my lungs. She isn’t crazy loud either but, I do try my hardest to get her to scream my name every now and again. Just for fun.”

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice):

“Y/N and I are in the process of buying an island in the Caribbean and, sometimes I get turned on when she talks about how much money we both have. I’m sorry, I know it’s a dick move but, it’s the truth. I donate millions to charity every year, I swear.”

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words):

“I’m like 7 inches I think? When I’m hard it’s probably like 8 or 9. I’m not sharing any more than that ha.”

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?):

“Pretty high. Unless I’m really sick or really busy.”

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards):

“If we’ve been going for multiple rounds, I’m pretty exhausted by the end of it but, I don’t just fall asleep. I don’t want to leave the bed afterwards though. I just want to cuddle with Y/N until we both pass out. If it’s during the day and, we’ve only gone once or twice, I’m not tired at all.”

“Aqua wanted me to dedicate this to @gldnrecs​ and, @bulletproofbirdy​. She says you guys are the best and, apparently you have a sweet spot for me. So, I guess I’ll dedicate this to you too ha. I hope you liked it.”

[bloody-bee-tea]

Rebirth - Untamed Spring Fest 2020 Day 12

I didn’t know how to put that word into my story, so I tried to make it figuratively. Previous part

Mo Xuanyu is lazing around on the couch, only dressed in one of Jiang Cheng’s oversized sweaters, when Jiang Cheng steps out of their bedroom.

Mo Xuanyu does a double take when he sees him—Jiang Cheng is hot, alright—but then he frowns.

“Are you going out?” he asks, not moving from his spot on the couch, and Jiang Cheng nods before he leans down to give him a kiss to the forehead.

“Why?” Mo Xuanyu asks, his voice almost a whine, because he had plans for today, goddamit, and they involved cuddling on the couch and doing absolutely nothing. “We went out for groceries just yesterday, and I’m sure we got everything. There is no reason for you to go out, come here,” he demands and makes actual grabby hands at Jiang Cheng.

“The reason is that my mother ordered me to the company,” Jiang Cheng says with an eyeroll, putting his eyeliner on beautiful display, and so it takes Mo Xuanyu a moment to catch up to what Jiang Cheng just said.

“She did what?” Mo Xuanyu asks and then he looks Jiang Cheng over again. “And you’re going to meet her like that?”

“Yes? Is there something wrong with the way I look?” Jiang Cheng wants to know, a teasing tilt to his voice, and Mo Xuanyu looks him over again.

There is nothing wrong with the way he looks, but. “Do you think Madame Yu will appreciate this?” Mo Xuanyu carefully asks and has to swallow when Jiang Cheng raises his arms to quickly put his hair into a messy bun on the top of his head.

The shirt he’s wearing is one of Mo Xuanyu’s and it’s slightly too short on Jiang Cheng, so when he raises his arms like that, a tantalizing strip of his skin is revealed. Paired with the low slung jeans he’s wearing it’s a rather mouth-watering sight and Mo Xuanyu doesn’t hesitate to lick his lips.

“Madame Yu can suck it,” Jiang Cheng grumbles and then leans down again, this time to pull Mo Xuanyu into a scorching kiss. “I’ll be an hour,” Jiang Cheng says and Mo Xuanyu raises his eyebrow in disbelieve at that.

If Madame Yu ordered him into the office, there is no way Jiang Cheng will be back in an hour.

“You shouldn’t even be going out,” Mo Xuanyu still petulantly says, because they are supposed to be in lockdown and Jiang Cheng’s job is not considered essential.

“I know that. And if the police stops me, I’m going to play them my mother’s voice message she left so nicely on my phone,” Jiang Cheng promises and then gets his keys. “I’ll be sending you a voice message, too,” Jiang Cheng promises and when Mo Xuanyu frowns Jiang Cheng gives him his brightest smile. “I have some things to say to her.”

“Good for you, baby,” Mo Xuanyu says supportively and then snuggles deeper into the couch, his phone close by. “I’ll be right here.”

“Perfect,” Jiang Cheng says and then leaves Mo Xuanyu alone.

~*~*~

When Jiang Cheng arrives at the company and finds people in the lobby, he stops to send them home. His job isn’t considered essential, so theirs sure as hell isn’t either. No need to put anyone at risk like that.

When he finally does make it to his office, his mother is already waiting for him there.

She looks him over once before she scoffs and turns away from him.

Jiang Cheng takes this opportunity to start recording. He did promise Mo Xuanyu a voice message after all and he sure as hell has a few things to say.

“Mother, I don’t appreciate being called here like this,” Jiang Cheng starts without a greeting and isn’t at all surprised when his mother whirls around to him.

“Well, there’s things to be done and you will do them,” she snaps but Jiang Cheng shakes his head.

“We’re in lockdown. This company is not essential. I will not put my employees or myself at risk. And before you ask, yes, I did send everyone you ordered here home. They have no business being here  since they can just as well work from home, aand neither do you.”

“How dare you speak to me like that?” Madame Yu demands to know but Jiang Cheng has had enough of this.

He is so sick of his mother ordering him around like he’s still a gangly teenager and he will not allow it any longer.

“You’re going to do this work now,” Madame Yu tells him and points at a stack of papers on the table.

Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes, because he could have done this at home as well, but now he’s going to do shit just out of spite.

“You have no right to order me around like that,” Jiang Cheng tells her. “Because I am the CEO of this company, that’s what it says right there on my nameplate. What does yours say?” he asks, but doesn’t give her the chance to answer. “Oh, that’s right you don’t have one, mother.”

Madame Yu goes pale at his words, but Jiang Cheng is so over this.

“So I will be going back home, to the man I love, and you will not call me or any of my employees here again.”

“You have changed,” Madame Yu presses out, eying the stretch of skin that is showing where his shirt is too small, and the eyeliner he wears most days now, and Jiang Cheng smiles sweetly at her.

“And all for the better, too,” he cheerily gives back but his mother narrows her eyes at him.

“That’s debatable,” she sneers but Jiang Cheng will not allow himself to be baited by her ever again.

“Just because I am no longer the obedient puppet you want me to be, doesn’t mean I changed into a bad person,” he informs her and then points to the door. “Now, if you would leave, this company is officially closed for the time being.”

“To think that you’re doing all of this to go home to that—that—”

“To my boyfriend,” Jiang Cheng helps her along. “I am sorry you can’t bare to spend more than two minutes with father in the same house, but I love Mo Xuanyu and I actually enjoy spending time with him. I know this is a novel concept for you, but not all of us are bitter and full of hate,” he states and then almost bodily manhandles her out of his office.

“Do not call with work related things. Do not send me e-mails or other to-do lists. I am the CEO of this company and I have it under control. It’s what you trained me for after all. If you don’t trust me to handle this company, then hire someone else, or let me do my goddamn job,” Jiang Cheng says and he is thoroughly enjoying the look on his mother’s face.

He itched to say those things to her for a long time, and it feels so good to finally do it.

“Now if you would excuse me, I have a boyfriend to go home to,” Jiang Cheng tells her and just leaves here there, gaping after him.

It’s a damn good feeling.

On his way back down, Jiang Cheng sends the voice message to Mo Xuanyu and then he makes sure that everyone really left, just like he told them to.

He has no clue why his mother wanted anyone to be here, other than feed her sadistic ego, because all of his employees are able to work from home almost just as well as they could from the building.

But to Jiang Cheng’s satisfaction he finds the building empty and so he makes his way back home.

He doesn’t even have the door fully open, when Mo Xuanyu is already jumping him.

“That was so. Fucking. Hot,” he whispers and kisses the living hell right out of Jiang Cheng in the hallway.

“Xuanyu,” Jiang Cheng gasps between kisses, “the neighbours.”

“Let them see. They’d be lucky to get someone like you,” Mo Xuanyu gives back as he drags his lips down Jiang Cheng’s neck and it’s only then that he realizes Mo Xuanyu put on his favourite lipstick.

“But you’re all mine,” Jiang Cheng growls and picks Mo Xuanyu up to carry him back into their apartment.

He does not like to share, after all.

[alittleoptimistic]

Psychic For Hire

A Buzzfeed Unsolved Fanfic

Summary: Shane is a psychic for hire working in LA, and sure, he’s a fake, but at least he’s telling people what they need to hear! That is, he thought he was fake. But after a strange accident, he has the oddest dreams… Meanwhile his old friend Ryan is researching his next greatest supernatural horror novel in the underbelly of the LA psychic scene and wondering how on earth you convince someone they might be psychic for real?

Trigger warning: violence, car accidents, cussing, dead people.

________________________________________________________________

Chapter 2

Sometimes you’ve got to just be like, ‘well, okay, this is how today is gonna be.’ Ryan dropped his fifth quarter into the vending machine and blinked, long and slow at the options. He got lost for a second, his eyes focused on the reflection of ceiling lights and the waverly look of his own face in the glass. He had a bruise just beneath his left cheek, (coffee cup, he was pretty sure), and a cut on his upper arm. Pick a snack, he ordered. His arm lifted up and tapped in the numbers.

Chips, a slim jim. They clunked at the bottom and Ryan wandered toward room 247 A, where Shane lay sleeping. Ryan felt an odd calm. He should freak out, but he’d gone beyond that and now he floated in this haze while he waited for Shane to wake up.

The hospital room had vertical fabric blinds that let in a dirty evening light. When Ryan entered, Shane was sitting up in bed, gingerly poking at the small bandage over his left eyebrow. He’d been smacked pretty hard. Scary, hard. Ryan had never seen someone that pale before. They were lucky. His chest shuttered.

“Hey, big guy, you’re awake.”

Shane blinked at him, no trace of confusion in his eyes. He knew exactly where he was. Which was very typical of him, to be honest? He relaxed into a smile, apparently unperturbed by the whole situation. “You totaled my car. It’s like college all over again.”

“Fuck you,” Ryan threw the slim jim at him. “Don’t stick your head out the window like a dog.”

“I was throwing up. Christ, my head hurts. Am I okay? I feel okay?”

Ryan nodded.  “You flew out the window, so everyone is super shocked that you are. They think you probably have a concussion, though, which sucks. You’re supposed to rest or whatever. They’ll probably be in here in a few minutes.”

And they were. A few more hours of pandering around, being poked, asking and answering questions, and getting prescriptions, and then, remarkably, they were on their way out. It was… wild. He’d been so scared, and now here they were, catching an Uber.

“I wonder what happened to the people who hit us.” Ryan mused as they watched the animated Uber car on his phone get closer and then miss them entirely.

Shane huffed. “He’s fine. Won't try to change his shirt while driving again, I’m guessing. Don’t worry about it.”

Ryan glanced up. “You don’t even-”

“Is that our guy? I think I see it. Purple Toyota? Purple Toyota, baby!”

The night slipped into a darker, deeper purple as they arrived at Shane’s suburban fever dream of a house. The brightest light by far was Shane’s neon PSYCHIC sign on the front window. Ryan found himself staring at it as they climbed out of the Uber, saying their goodbyes.

He wasn’t sure this was such a good idea anymore.

He had four months to come up with the first draft of a novel about the LA psychics, according to his publishers. Ryan was thinking about some kind of mix of Dead Zone and the celebrity lifestyle… if that was possible. It made sense to stay with Shane, do research the way he always did. Part of his angle was always the real-life research he did before writing anything. He wanted to give people as much truth as he possibly could. Shane was his best friend (or was , ten years ago) and Shane was a professional psychic. It would be stupid to pass up an opportunity like it. This was a strange thing for Shane to be, of course. Ryan remembered first hearing about Shane’s job through a mutual friend and he’d laughed and told them they were confused. Shane, a psychic? Shane was goddamn Doubting Thomas reincarnate.

It made sense, now that Ryan was here, talking to him. Shane wanted to be a therapist in school, but he had to quit midway through after… something. Ryan couldn’t remember what had happened exactly. Shane had told him they couldn’t room together next semester, and just like that, he disappeared off the face of the earth. Ryan got the impression any questions about this were very off-limits, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t curious. The point was, the way he explained it, Shane managed to find a way to be a therapist without technically having a license.

It didn’t make him any less of a con artist, obviously, and it put an honest horrible taste in Ryan’s mouth. He’d rather not know about any of it than have to recalibrate who he thought his friend was. He couldn’t tell any of this to Shane. And he needed the room. Not to mention, it was going to be great for his book. What better insight to this side of LA then through the eyes of someone who knew all the tricks. Then, Ryan could find the real ones, couldn’t he? Or, he could try.

Shane unlocked the front door. He was talking casually about nothing in particular and Ryan laughed in response without really hearing the words. Shane’s house was simply ordered, a single hallway down the center with a living room and open kitchen to the left, and the closed-off office to the right. Two bedrooms further down the hall, and a bathroom at the end. Apparently, Shane used the other bedroom to do video work? Editing had always been a hobby of his, something he and Ryan bonded over originally. “I’ve got a foldout couch in there you can use, ” he told him.

They met around the breakfast counter and Shane poured him a glass of something. Ryan frowned. “I don’t think you should drink if you have a concussion.”

“I’m going to have a headache tomorrow either way,” Shane answered.

“Wh- no, Shane, Jesus-”

Shane took a sip and gave him a put on look. “It’s fine. I’m fine. You drink. You’re all shaky still.”

Ryan wanted to tell him he was not shaky, thank you very much. Instead, he picked up the glass and did so. Surprised, he took another sip. “This is… really good.”

“Gift from a friend,” Shane hummed, sitting down on the tall chairs. His feet still touched the ground, and Ryan realized a moment later, his own did not.

“You have friends?”

Shane rolled his eyes, amused, and then winced. He could brush it off all he liked, but his head was definitely hurting him. “Got me there. A client, then. Lilly Keller.”

Ryan choked on the wine.

“Wait. Like, the Lilly Keller?” Lilly Keller, the famous actress, winner of multiple oscars at the young age of twenty-three. Lilly Keller, America’s newest heartthrob. Ryan’s mouth dropped open. “You can’t just- Frick, dude, you’re Lilly Keller’s psychic?” Shane gave him a cheeky grin. “She’s a sweet girl. You can come with me to a session if you like.”

“ If I like? Who else do you know? Do you know Leonardo Dicaprio? Please say you-”

“She’s the only celebrity, don’t get too excited!”

Ryan was about to reply when headlights shot through the room from the front window. They were inordinately bright, especially since he and Shane hadn’t turned on more lights than the small one over the stove. The car faced them, unmoving. The headlights flipped on and off and on again with deliberation.

Ryan held up a hand to squint at it. “What the hell?”

Shane didn’t say anything.

“Shane?”

Ryan looked at him. Shane was stiff, his face blank. He set the glass down with a clink on the counter. “...shit…”

Ryan’s breath caught. “Is something wrong?”

Shane raised his eyebrows, meeting his eyes suddenly. “Naw. Just something I’ve gotta do. You wait in here.” Without another word, Shane crossed the kitchen and opened the door of his office. Ryan stayed at the counter, too shocked to do anything but obey.

Maybe this really was a bad idea.

Shane cursed in the dark of his office as he pushed aside a few books on his bookshelf to reveal the safe hidden behind. He opened the dial quickly. Inside lay a pile of jewelry, some watches, other important documents, and piles of cash. It wasn’t all his technically. He got rent from several other psychics around the area and then delivered a portion of his and theirs to the person above him.

Shane counted the bills, fumbling. His head pounded like it was shrinking around his brain. There was no way he was going to get around avoiding explaining this to Ryan. With a sigh, he straightened, closed the safe, and walked to the front door. Ryan met his gaze and his eyes widened when he saw the money in Shane’s hand. Shane didn’t have anything to put it in or else he would have. Shane didn’t respond. He already knew Ryan was scared. It was bleeding off him like sweet sick. Fear and disappointment.

Shane had a knife in his back pocket just in case as he walked down his sidewalk. It was wet from the sprinklers. Just at the end of the driveway sat a black, shiny car, windows thick.

The moment he saw it, his headache pulsed worse. But he relaxed. His shoulders dropped and he picked up his pace. Thank God…

The window rolled down as he got closer.

“Good evening, Jack.”

Jack, a black-haired kid with a pointy nose and bruised eyes, leaned into the streetlight so he was visible. “How’d you know it was me?”

Shane handed him the cash. “The way you park? I dunno. Wasn’t expecting you tonight. I thought you guys weren’t coming till the twentieth? Where’s Hera?”

“She’s at a party. Apparently she has some big meeting in the twentieth. She told me to come collect early.”

“Well, you’re lucky I had extra meetings this week.”

“ You’re lucky.”

Shane wasn’t scared of Jack. He wasn’t a bad kid, all things considered. It wasn’t his fault his family was batshit crazy. Shane smiled and drummed his fingers on the top of the car. “Well, tell Hera I said hello.”

“Will do.” Jack turned the car back on, putting the money on the passenger seat. He nodded toward Shane’s head. “Someone get ya?”

“Hmm? Oh, no. Car accident earlier today.”

“Aw, that sucks. They give you morphine?” Shane blinked at him. “A little. Gave me crazy dreams.”

The kid grinned a wide, toothy smile. One of his teeth was gold. “Nice. Thanks, bitch. See ya. Hera said she wants you to start taking in the money yourself or she’ll kick your ass.”

Shane opened his mouth to protest. Then he shut it. He managed something like a smile. “Fine. Stay safe, Jack.”

“Whatever, voodoo man.” With that, Jack rolled up the window and slunk the car down the street.

Shane hesitated in his front yard. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was... so tired.

And Ryan was peeking through the blinds. Of course, he was.

Shane turned around and met Ryan’s eyes immediately, startling the man into dropping the blinds and disappearing. It would be funny in other circumstances. Suddenly, he didn’t want to stay up and drink with his friend anymore. His headache was only getting worse and Ryan was worry pacing in his living room like an anxious cat.

Shane made it back to the kitchen. He rubbed the back of his neck. His body ached. The pain medication must have been wearing off. “Well, you wanted to know what it's like being a psychic in LA...” He laughed.

Ryan stood stiff, his hands trembling. “Who was that?” Shane ignored the question. “My head is killing me. Can we… I'm sorry, can we talk about this tomorrow?”

Ryan wavered. “Are you in danger?”

Shane waved the question away in dismissal. “Naw, calm down. My boss likes me.” He knew Ryan was brimming with questions, but they had a whole two months at least to get answers to them, and Shane was having a hard time focusing now. He walked out, down the hallway. “I set out the blankets and pillows on the bed in there.”

Ryan didn’t have a choice really, but he relented and followed. “... Okay. We’ll talk tomorrow?”

Shane turned at his door. “Duh? Night, Ryan.”

“... night.”

Shane put the door between them as quickly as he could. He was being totally unfair, but he really didn’t have the energy to explain. He sat down on his bed, took his shoes off, and then lay flat on the covers for a minute, thinking he’d get up and change any second. His body was heavy, and he was very aware for no reason in particular that he was a creature inside it.

Shane sat in the passenger seat as the car whizzed the highway. The radio played Miley Cyrus’s ‘The Climb’. Shane turned his head. He recognized the feeling, the thickness of the air like moving through dough. In the driver seat, Jack sang not-so-well, but earnestly, as he drummed his hands on the wheel. The sight made Shane smile. Jack wouldn’t be caught dead listening to something like this.

Shane stood in a bookshop, looking up at the reflection of a book on the inside of a display. ǝɿiH ɿoꟻ ɔiʜɔγƨꟼ. A dark-haired man passed by.

Rapid images passed his eyes. A girl cried in her bathroom, a man and a woman fought in a kitchen. A plate broke. The images passed faster and faster until he couldn’t distinguish them. Everything was too quick, too much information all at once. His stomach began to ache.

Then he was laying on cold marble tiles. Heels clicked past his ear. Above him, marble arches stretched into a dome centered by a massive chandelier that shone like the damn sun. He tried to sit up and managed to turn his head instead. Gravity was too heavy. A familiar woman opened the front door. She wore a mink fur shawl over a nightgown, clearly heading toward the bed. “Jack. you look like shite, honey, why doesn’t your mama dress you properly.”

“Got the money, auntie.”

A pause. “Excuse me?”

Jack stepped back. Shane could see his sneakers. “I have the money, auntie Hera, Ma’am.”

He gave it to her and she hummed. “You told him to come here?”

Jack nodded.

“It’s about time we initiated that dry ass fucker… I’ve never seen a more well-behaved pet.” She leaned forward and pulled Jack down so she could kiss him on the cheek.

“Aw, ugk, auntie- auntie, he’s paying fine, I don't see why you’ve gotta-”

She grabbed his cheek, a little rougher than she ought to have. “How about you run along and let the adults do the thinking, Jackie dear. Have a goodnight, tell your mama she’s a whore.”

“Okay, auntie.”

Shane was listening so closely, he almost didn’t notice until it was too late. The stone crept around his legs and up to his body. He screamed as he fell into the marble.

Concrete surrounded him. He couldn’t breathe. Coldwater rushed at his back. Suddenly he dropped into water, tumbling, slamming into walls. It was so cold. He gasped and flailed and-

Jumped up out of sweat-soaked sheets.

Shane choked on nothing, shivering, breathing rapidly. His whole body hurt. He was battered and bleeding and-

No, no he wasn’t. What kind of nightmare…

Shane scrubbed his face and hissed in pain at the cut over his eye. Sunlight streamed in from the window. A few moments passed, and his heartbeat slowed.

The door rattled. Ryan poked his head in, hair tousled. “Yo, you want eggs?”

Yes, he did.

Man, concussions sure were weird.

________________________________________________________________

previous            to be continued....

[bigskydreaming]

So I’ve been going through all my old Scrivener files and rounding up all the various fics and updates I’m planning on queuing up to post during the month/however-the-fuck-long I’m bedridden after surgery in a couple weeks. Which includes Teen Wolf as well as Batfics, FYI. 

Anyway, came across this old WIP that I never ended up posting because I ultimately thought it felt too similar to both Where Wild Things Are and Lightning Crashes, just in different ways....not enough that any of them were derivative of each other, but enough that I wasn’t super inspired to continue writing it because the vibe I was going for with it, I was already getting from writing those other two fics.

But I still liked it and think there was some good stuff there, so what the hell. Here’s an opening from a never-planning-on-finishing-it Scallison AU, where things diverged from canon right after the Hale fire six years pre-pilot, and there was a different-from-canon McCall pack at war/trying to survive Peter’s pack in its attempts to stamp theirs out. 

The Scallison part starts out in the vein of the ABC show Revenge, where Scott’s initially just trying to keep an eye on the hunters in town/figure out where the Argents land in all of this, but then, y’know. The feelings happen.

Anyway, it was chock full of my favorite TW writing tropes - runaway/long lost Scott, pack politics, side characters turned main characters, scheming, double-dealing, Scott Is A Goddamn Genius and No I Do Not Accept Constructive Criticism On This Matter For It Is Wrong....you know, my usuals.

I did have a pretty extensive outline/summary for the rest of the fic and my plans for it, that I can post if there’s any interest in reading that and seeing where this was going. *Shrugs* Just let me know.

WHAT THE FIRES LEFT BEHIND

Scott McCall came home on a Tuesday.

For Allison, that didn’t mean much at first.  Her only context for the mass text was the bemused quirking of Lydia’s lips and a rather underwhelming ‘Huh.’ Then a shrug and a flick of her hair, and her best friend by default returned to ruffling through the Macy’s clearance rack with a vengeance.

“Awful. Grotesque. Needs to be set ablaze, immediately - ”

Allison nodded to herself and bore continued witness to Lydia’s evisceration of every hack designer of every fashion atrocity present, though sadly, the novelty of that had long since worn off. It was 7 pm on a school night. They’d been scouring the mall for something to meet Lydia’s approval for three hours already, and Allison did have trigonometry homework she could be torturing herself with instead, so….

Tough call. Hard choices had to be made. Allison steeled herself for battle and called Lydia Martin on her bullshit.

“Why are we here again? You hate Macy’s, and you absolutely despise clearance items.”

“I know that, and you know that.” Lydia emerged from a forest of polyester blouses wearing a look of disdain that had a ph level that would put any acid in the school’s chem lab to shame. “But I’m trying to see if I can find something here to start a trend with anyway.  Call it…a social experiment.”

“Hmm.” Allison nodded again thoughtfully. Briefly, she considered mercy. But she had just wasted three hours of her life. And mercy wasn’t really the Argent family way. 

She pulled the trigger. “You sure its not called Daddy cut your spending limit?”

Her melodrama-prone friend threw her hands up as if to express the whole world had gone mad and nothing made any sense. “It’s like he’s not even trying to buy my affection anymore!”

Allison coughed into her hand to smother a giggle. Being able to so easily rile up her friend when all others’ attempts dashed themselves harmlessly upon Her Majesty’s porcelain mask of perfection? Still her favorite sport next to archery. But certain social norms must be respected. One didn’t openly mock a friend in such obvious distress. She quickly changed the subject. For Lydia’s sake, really.

“So who’s Scott McCall?”

Lydia paused midway through working herself up to a truly tickets and popcorn-worthy rant, thrown by the sudden segue. “What?”

Allison waved her phone, flashing the mass text Danny had sent out to pretty much everyone in the Beacon County zip code.

“Scott McCall’s back. He just walked into the Sheriff’s Station. Stiles saw him himself,” she read out loud. “Who’s Scott McCall?”

“Oh. That.” Lydia tore her horrified gaze away from a leopard print mini-skirt and shrugged. “He’s this guy from our class who disappeared seven years ago. You know that Dunbar kid’s stepmom, Melissa? It’s her son.”

“Wait, seriously? And he’s our age? How have I never heard about this before?”

“I don’t know, Allison,” Lydia rolled her eyes. “Maybe because normal people don’t talk about things that depress them? It was a long time ago anyway.”

“I can tell it had a real effect on you,” Allison said, with just a touch of acid herself.

“I’m in the midst of a personal financial crisis currently. I’ll care when its over. Besides, its not like anyone has any details yet. Pointless gossip is for the peasants.”

“So what happened anyway?” Allison asked. Lydia shot her a look and she smiled innocently. “What? I’m comfortable with my peasant status. And I’ve lived here almost two years now and never heard a word about this. How can I not be curious?”

“Well this was an utter waste of time,” Lydia said under her breath as she gingerly replaced a sequin-studded monstrosity back on the rack, seemingly preoccupied once more. Or possibly just flat-out ignoring her. 

The menace of the malls then raised her eyes to the ceiling as if despairing at the world at large, heaved a sigh that was practically a soliloquy unto itself, and ran her fingers through her hair in some kind of ritual of self-composure. 

Once she’d observed the proper formalities for conceding her quest was officially a failure - at least, Allison was pretty sure that’s what she was doing, though she’d rather not commit to that, given that some of the intricacies of her friend’s habits still eluded her grasp - Lydia finally slung her purse over her shoulder and set off towards the exit with an imperious wave of her head. 

It was only when her brisk walk stalled out while waiting for the garage elevator that Her Highness deigned to address the lowly commoner’s curiosity. 

Allison just sighed internally. She’d long since made her peace with her friend’s little power games. They were entertaining as often as they were exasperating, so it was sort of a pick your battles type situation, and Allison preferred to err on the side of not waking the beast beneath Lydia’s deceptively dainty exterior.

“You know about the Hale fire, right?” Lydia asked.

Allison nodded. It wasn’t an everyday topic of conversation by any means, but it had come up at least once or twice since her family moved to Beacon Hills two years prior. Talk of the tragedy had even made an appearance in her own home, in a couple of muffled shouting matches between her parents that she’d only caught bits and pieces of.

“Yeah, my Aunt Kate actually lived around here back then. That was the fire that killed that whole family, right?”

“Right. So it was pretty much right around that same time. Scott went missing just a few days after. A lot of people even wondered if there might have been a connection, there were rumors the fire was arson, I don’t know. It was a whole thing, and we were only ten at the time, you know? Anyway, Scott’s dad was this hotshot FBI agent. There were search parties for like two months, but they never found a body or anything. Most people eventually figured it probably had something to do with one of his dad’s cases.”

“And now he’s back,” Allison prodded when Lydia lapsed into silence. The smaller girl just chewed on her lower lip, staring at the wall of the garage almost pensively.

“And now he’s back,” she echoed with a distracted nod of her head.

“That’s....interesting,” Allison offered tentatively. She wasn’t entirely sure what to make of the mood that had fallen over her friend, like a spell had settled upon her the moment she’d actually stopped and reflected on her memories of the events in question. 

It seemed somewhat conspicuous to her that Lydia made no mention of who Scott was beyond just the victim of some strange small-town mystery, and so she was uncertain just how cautiously she needed to tread here. Had they been childhood friends? Mere acquaintances? Something else, likely as baffling and unexpected as most things about Lydia Martin tended to be?

But the born and raised Beacon Hills native just shrugged one shoulder listlessly and twirled a strand of strawberry-blond hair around a finger.

“It’s something,” she said at last. The elevator arrived at their level with an almost cheerful-sounding ding that was at odds with the somber mood they stood draped in. Lydia shook herself, a full body kind of motion not unlike a dog drying itself off.

“Are you coming?” She tossed over her shoulder at Allison, sounding almost exasperated, as though she hadn’t been the one just standing there staring at the wall for a good ten seconds after the elevator doors had slid open.

Allison sighed and shook her head, but she held back any retort and instead simply followed her friend down into the lower levels of the garage. Now was not the time to pursue...whatever that whole thing had been, just now. 

Lydia Martin had just unwillingly displayed an emotional reaction in front of another person. It was too dangerous to prod for further weak spots in her armor without letting at least a day or two pass first.

The self-styled Queen of Beacon Hills had relieved commoners of their heads for lesser offenses than that.

[letmewritemylife]

Lara Johnson (Part 2)

You stole my sanity, I'll never be the same. - Citizen Soldier (Hope It Haunts You)

A/N The end is a reference to the beginning of Avengers: Infinity War, which is actually part of my fic series, but I don't have it saved on my phone anymore. I recommend going check it out on my Instagram (agata_varano), it should be a light blue post with a big title and it's split in two parts.

TRIGGER WARNINGS Mentions of alcohol abuse, self harm, nightmares.

But her demons didn't appreciate the way she had treated them and came back roaring and screaming louder than ever that same night and again for weeks, months. Her conscience had never been so mean to her and Lara didn't sleep for days, tortured by her own mind.

Days weren't less hellish than nights. Leaving her past behind was hard, almost impossible when everything could become a painful reminder of what she had done, of what she had lost. 

Moreover no one around her seemed ready to trust her, not after what had happened, and she couldn't blame them. Not even she could trust herself.

Training with the sorcerer, Doctor Strange or however she was supposed to call him, wasn't exactly a dream either. 

Firstly, Lara had to admit Strange was right: she had no control over her powers. Probably denying them for years hadn't been a good idea and had resulted in an uncontrollable, destructive magic that she hated like her own life.

Knowing that she could destroy an entire city without even wanting it wasn't exactly a pleasant feeling. It was like wandering around the woods being completely on fire, feeling like a monster and having little to no desire of self-preservation.

Strange tried to help her, she guessed, he wasn't mean and Lara understood it, but being social wasn't exactly his thing. He expected her to open up with him, make him understand what was going on in her mind, but he was the first one to hide behind thick walls whenever he could, ignoring her for hours until they had to train.

The only comfort was the other sorcerer who lived with Strange, the one she had thrown into a window, that didn't treat her differently from other people: he ignored everyone with no distinction.

Lara would have tried harder to find a place in all those people's lives, if only she hadn't had to find peace in her own. 

Her problems with anxiety only got worse, often accompanied by violent panic attacks. Nightmares and mental struggles didn't hesitate to drag her down the same hell she had lived in for years. Having no idea how else to cope with the undying pain and sorrow, she let herself be devoured by her own demons. She found it impressing how easy it was to hide alcohol around the Sanctum, ready to tempt her in the middle of the night when nightmares wouldn't let her sleep. If drinking wasn't enough, she could always go back to her old friend self-harm: no one cared, no one noticed and she wasn't able to stop. It was perfect. 

Unfortunately Strange didn't agree with her. 

It had been a couple months after Lara had moved into the Sanctum and she was training with Stephen like every other day. Like every other day, she had no idea what she was doing. Like every other day, she had tried to control her powers. Like every other day, she had failed majestically.

"You just have to calm down, it's not that hard," he said in that tone which Lara could never understand if it was annoyed or not.

She clenched her fists in a desperate attempt not to burn everything down. "It's not hard for you."

He crossed his arms on his chest. "It's not hard for everyone. You just have-"

"'You just have'! It's easy to say for you. You're the goddamn Sorcerer Supreme, you don't have this kind of problems!" She raised her tone at him, mad at how hypocrite his words sounded.

Stepping towards her, he pointed his eyes to her face, his expression now angry. "No, I don't, but at least I'm trying to help you."

"'Help me'?" She spit back, screaming at him with all the rage she had bottled up for weeks. "If completely ignoring me, always acting like I'm just an annoying burden hanging around and then expecting me to listen to you is your way to help me, then thanks but I don't need it."

Strange's expression turned sorry, but that didn't calm down Lara. She headed to the door, her fists clenched hard enough to hurt her palms with her own nails. 

He opened his mouth for a moment, tempted to say something, but no voice left his lips. He silently stared at the woman as she left the room and rushed upstairs.

Lara slammed the door of her room, leaning back against the wood and slowly sliding down until she was sitting on the cold floor. She let out a breath as she tilted her head back, staring at the white ceiling.

She felt bad, terribly bad and she couldn't help it. What was she even thinking when she had decided to accept Strange's help, forcing him to carry a burden he knew nothing about and rightfully didn't care about?

Curling up on the floor, she stared out of the window, the darkness of the night slowly covering the city. She waited until the neon light of the street lamps was turned on, then crawled to bed.

She woke up with a scream after no more than a couple of hours, moving so suddenly that she fell down on the floor. She got up on her hands and knees, her breath heavy and tears streaming down her face. Trying to calm down seemed impossible, it always did. As she focused on her heart beating faster and faster second after second, she didn't notice someone knocking on the door and carefully stepping in.

Whoever had entered the room turned the light on just enough not to trip over her. "Are you okay?"

Lara brought up her face to see Strange kneeling next to her, close but not enough to touch her. She shook her head. "No, I'm not, is this what you want to hear?"

Her unnecessarily bitter answer seemed to hurt the sorcerer, who moved his gaze to a casual point on the ground. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

Feeling guilty was the last thing that Lara wanted to do in that exact moment, but she couldn't help it. She stuttered, trying to form a coherent sentence, then focused on the same point as the sorcerer. "Don't be, it's- it's my fault. I always mess things up." 

She sighed as she sat up. "I'm sorry for what I said today. You were trying to help me, I guess, but…" She moved her eyes to meet his. "It's hard, okay? And I don't know what to do. I just- I know I don't want to hurt any more people, but nothing else."

Strange let out a breath. "Well, that's something." 

His eyes darted to her wrists left uncovered by her shirt and barely illuminated by the weak light in the room. For the first time he realized her problems weren't just nightmares and uncontrollable powers.

When she felt his gaze on her, Lara was fast to cover her hands, her eyes falling to the floor.

"Lara." The man's tone was unusual to her. He wasn't annoyed, he wasn't angry. He was concerned. He had just pronounced her name for the first time in maybe days and it was out of worry. "If I open up with you," he said calmly, "can you promise me that you'll let me help you with whatever is going on in your head?"

Lara's lips opened, but she quickly closed them, not sure what to say as she stared at the floor.

"Please," he pleaded out, his voice lower than ever.

Lara sighed and finally looked up at him. "Fine, I promise."

And slowly, Lara took control of her life and, even more slowly, of her emotions. After two months, Lara was far from happy, but maybe she was a little closer. Sometimes she even slept at night and with time stopped drinking out of despair and boredom. After an even longer period of time, she stopped cutting her skin and crying herself to sleep. The last thing she achieved was control over her powers.

After months of training and work, she came to the conclusion that she didn't want to waste the life she had got back, she didn't want to run away anymore. 

She still felt responsible for the events of her life, for what she had done and what she had not done, she still had a little, strong voice in her head reminding her the monster she was, but now she was able to shut it down.

Taking the responsibilities for her actions, she decided to force others to do the same and the first thing she could think about was the Agency X. She made it her mission to take down the whole organisation, or at least try. She knew everything about them, she had trained with them, she had worked with them, she had lived with them. She could still remember names, faces, agents and she would have used that knowledge to defeat them.

As time passed, Lara didn't only find a mission to complete, she also found friends, people she could talk to, people she could rely on. After months, Lara came to the point where she could call Stephen and Wong worthy of her trust. Or maybe she could call herself worthy of theirs, she wasn't sure.

Everything was moving slowly around her, but it was moving, just like a machinery that used to be perfect but has been turned off for too long and now needs time to work again. She had earned a life worth living and dying for, full of missions, demons (metaphorically and not), magic and takeaway food, because apparently there isn't a course at Kamar-Taj on how to cook edible stuff.

But that relative concept of normality was soon to be damaged, as well as the Sanctum roof.

[suckerfordylansstuff]

All that matters..

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter

Not requested

Also gif not mine

5....4....3....2....1....

Steve was beginning his journey in returning the stones. Some were easy to return, in others he learnt new things, in others he.. Saw old faces he thought were only meant for his nightmares.. the last one was the soul stone and the truth was that he wasn't ready for what he was going to face.

Steve walked near the cliff, he looked down, even if it was very high he could still notice some blood. This red liquid and he tried so hard to not think, or not accept whom it was from. He quickly looked away and started searching for someone, anyone, to talk to here and complete his mission.

" Uhhh... Hello? I'm here to return a stone?" he said hopelessly since he couldn't see anyone there.

" Here to return what?" a voice said behind him and he sweared to God he had heard that voice before.

" A stone. I wa-" Steve began but he was cut off by the presence that stood in front of him.

" You.." Steve said and couldn't believe his eyes " No.. You.. You can't be.... I- I saw you vanish!"

" Yes.. But I did not just.. Dissappeared.. I was sent here to guard the soul stone. Which I assume you now want to return?" the red skull said looking very calm compared to Steve who was loosing his shit right now.

" Uh.. Yes.. Yes, here. " Steve said and right before red skull could take it, Steve backed up and said " One of my friends.. Sacrificed herself for this.. Now that I'm returning it.. Can I have her back?" Steve said in hope of seeing his dear friend once again to tell her everything that happened and everything he was planning.

" I'm sorry, Rogers." Steve shivered when he heard his name coming out of his mouth once again. " It is beyond my powers and plus. A soul cannot be returned after it has been sacrificed. It is gone. The person is gone."

" It looks like history really repeats itself then. You once again took everything from me." Steve said with bitter in his voice while he was thinking of how his friend took her life.. Her goddamn life to save theirs.. Of how his stupid soul stone and all the other ones destroyed the lives of billions..

" It is not my fault your friend did what she did. It was her choice. I'm sure you can understand that." red skull said with no sort of emotion in his voice.

" Just take it." Steve said already having enough from him and went far away from his unwanted past.

After some heavy breathing and some sorting through his memories from his past he finally set his thoughts at ease.

" Ok, Steve. C'mon. It's over now.. You'll be fine now.. Where you belong." Steve told himself, while he was setting the date and he then pressed the button.

When he opened his eyes he was somewhere... Not quite sure where, but one thing was for sure.. He was back. He recognized this familiar look of the city.. He was back at the 40s..

After some time he realized he wasn't too far away from Howard's place. He had went once there when they were discussing about his new suit.

He knocked and knocked and knocked but no one seemed to answer. Right when he was ready to give up the door swinged open and a tall man appeared in front of him.

" Hello? How can I help you?" he said in a British accent that took him of guard.

" Hi.. I umm.. I'm looking for Mr. Stark?" Steve said politely.

" May I ask who's asking?"

" A pretty old friend of his." Steve said without thinking that is was just 5 days after his death at this time. Opposite of his situation, where it has been decates since he last saw him.

" Could you tell me your name so I can inform him? " he asked looking a bit suspicious at Steve.

Steve didn't know if he should tell him " It's uh... It's.. " but before he could answer a voice came from the house.

" Jarvis! Who is it?" it's Howard. Steve could recognize his voice from every where.

" I don't know, sir. He won't say." Jarvis said and Howard stepped outside. He was shocked to see Captain America.. The man who died, who drowned, saving everyone. A legend and a hero to all was standing in front of him, when he was supposed to be frozen and dead.

" Hi, Howard.. " Steve started since Howard wasn't able to talk from the shock.

" S-Steve? Is that really you?"

" Yeah.. Listen I know this lo-" Howard came rushing into his arms pulling his thought so lost friend into a hug.

" Oh.. Bud.. I thought.. We all thought we lost you.. But how?" Howard asked looking at him.

" I can't say a lot.. At least for now.. But I am really here."

" Oh.. Everyone is gonna love this! I.. I can't believe it!" he said and looked at Jarvis who did not know what to do." Oh! Yes, sorry Jarvis. Steve this is Jarvis, my friend, and Jarvis that's Steve.. Steven Grant Rogers... Aka Captain America! " Howard said looking extremely proud of having Steve there.

" Oh my.. What an honor, Mr Rogers." Jarvis said and Steve shook his hand.

" The honor is all mine. I don't mean to sound rude but.. Could we all go inside, it's chilly. "

" Yes! Of course right this way, Steve!"

After explaining to him that he got here by a time travel and telling him that he can't revel who did after Howard was driving him crazy with who that person was. He didn't say much about his past even if it wouldn't effect his time on the future. He still was cautious about this until he felt ready to tell them.

" Oh wow... WAIT! JESUS! We have to call Peggy!!!! She'll be thrilled! She was so devastated when you passed- well.. When we thought you passed away." Howard said and was ready to dial Peggy's number.

" No! Stop!" Steve said putting the phone down.

" What? Don't you wanna talk to her?"

" Of course I wanna talk to her, but I.. I have a plan. We had arranged a date when I was about to crash the airplane and I wanna go and see her then.. That's why I came here to you, to see if you could let me stay for a couple days until then.. " Steve explained and Howard gave him a smirk.

" Finally you two.. Everyone in our crew wanted you guys to open up your eyes and see that you are perfect for each other. " he said and patted Steve on the shoulder.

" So.. I can stay?"

" Of course you can. Follow me." Howard said and Steve followed." Here is one of my guest rooms. It's yours for as much time as you need it. "

" Thank you, Howard. " Steve replied with a small smile on his face.

" Eveything for you, man.. I'm.. I'm so glad that you're here.. Even if you are technically supposed to not be, I'm happy to see you. "

" Me too. " Steve said and they hugged one more time.

" Ok.. Goodnight, Captain America" Howard told him with a small laugh.

" Don't.. Don't use that name.. I.. I don't use it anymore after everything that happened.."

" Oh, sorry.. The future hasn't been very nice, has it?"

" It's a long story that I'll tell you someday, but not now.. "

" Don't worry, mate. For me it's enough that you're OK.. Goodnight. "

" Goodnight. " Steve said and closed the door.

" I did it.. " he said softly to himself still not believing that he is back. He looked around him and saw a big room full of fancy stuff. He walked to the bed and saw some clothes there for him. He put on the pijamas and immediately drifted off to sleep.

~~~

Peggy was sitting on her room and looking at herself in the mirror. It was 7.20 in the afternoon.. Just 40 minutes until her date. She tried to calm herself and decided to start getting ready. She had already put on the red dress.. Steve's favorite. She picked up the red lipstick but her trembling hands took the best of her.

" I can't... I can't..." she mumbled, her red bloodshot eyes getting wet from the tears again. She knew the outcome of the night, but she still wanted to go..

" You promised him, Peggy.. You have to go." she told herself and after getting ready she went to the Stork Club.

She looked around her and everyone was celebrating, since the war was technically over. But she was far from celebrating. She may didn't look like it on the outside, but on the inside she was mourning.. Pretty darn hard. She just sat at a stool waiting for the clock to hit 8.00, but the noise, the laughter and the smell of alcohol was making her feel dizzy, so she went outside on the cold to relax a bit.

She put on her coat and cooled of while her back was touching the wall. She looked up to the sky and her eyes started forming tears once again for the millionth time this week. But she couldn't help it.. She had just lost one of her dearest friends and whom she thought was gonna be the love of her life. And now he's just gone.. Or that was what she thought.

Steve was walking down the street, looking ready for the bid surprise. He wasn't sure how she was gonna react, but he was sure that he would be the happiest person alive to talk to her once again.

And then he saw her.. She was standing there all by herself looking at her watch and then crying. It broke his heart seeing her so sad. Seeing her with no hope left. And so he decided to change that immediately.

It was exactly 8.00. And Peggy was still holding on to that little hope that he might come. But 10 minutes past and there was no sight of him. And now she was crying, crying like she never had before because now it's sure.. It's official that he is gone.

" I'm sorry that I'm late" Steve said quietly.

' This voice' Peggy thought and couldn't believe it.. She knew that voice! But it wasn't possible was it?

She looked up and almost had a heart attack. There he was, standing right in front of her with this big, beautiful smile of his. Peggy lost her mind.

" Hi, Peggs.." Steve started but he wasn't able to say anything else since Peggy started yelling.

" No!! You are not here! You are not real. Please, leave me alone... I can't with the illusions anymore" she said and kneeled down on the wall muttering 'please go' over and over again.

Steve was shocked. He knew that she would be sad when she saw him, but he did not expect this! Seeing his best girl like that broke his heart, he kneeled down too and took her hands in his. Peggy lifted her head slightly and looked at their hands in shock since she hadn't expected this to happen. Usually the illusions would go away after they blamed her for what had happened to him.. They didn't touch her, just blamed her. Over and over again..

" Pegs.. It's me.. It's Steve. Really, it's me.. Please look at me.." Steve said hopelessly trying to change her mood. He had never seen her like that. And come to think that this is was how she would have been like when he didn't show up.. And for God knows how long.

Peggy looked at him tears running down her face " Steve?" she said with some hope in her voice.

Steve simply answered with a yeah and then Peggy took her hand out of his and touched his cheek slowly. Steve was so happy to finally feel her warmth again and without thinking it he immediately relaxed into her touch.

" Steve.. It's- it's really you?" Peggy asked and when he answered her and I big smile and a simple nod, Peggy couldn't handle herself any longer and just embraced him with all she got. She hugged him so tight that he almost felt like he couldn't breath.

" Oh gosh... Oh my... Steve it's you.. It's you!!" Peggy repeated and Steve started laughing softly and Peggy followed him.

When she left his arms Steve was ready to explain everything to her, but Peggy had other plans. She got hold of the back of his neck with both of her hands and pulled him into a kiss. Steve was surprised at first, but quickly he kissed her back putting his hands on her waist. The kiss was so intense and full of emotions they had not shared with each other yet, but they both knew they were there.

After some seconds they both pulled away and looked at each other's eyes.

" H-how?" Peggy asked not believing that her love was right in front of her.

" It's.. It's a long story and I swear I'm going to explain everything to you.. But.. Right now I just want to stay here with you for a while.. I.. You cannot believe how much I missed you.." Steve said honestly. He just wanted a quiet moment with her before he was going to tell her about the whole future and time travel thing.

" Oh.. Yes.. Yes, I want that too.. I.. Thought I lost you.. " she said and their foreheads touched.

" Me too.. But I'm here and that's all that matters.." he said pulling her into his chest while he rested his chin on her head.

" Yeah.. That's all that matters.. " she muttered in his chest and those were the last words they said to each other for the next 20 minutes. They just stood there, not caring about the cold. Just feeling each other, finally resting from their loss of one another.

They had everything once again.. They were together.. And that was all that mattered.

[vagrantblvrd]

Where the Shadows Lay (1/1)

Summary: Someone wanting them dead isn’t a new experience. Someone wanting them dead badly enough to sic the Vagabond on them is just all kinds of uncalled for.

Notes: Prompt fill for Anon who wanted Freewood with the Vagabond hired to kill the crew. (And bonus Drama, because reasons. :D?)

(Read on AO3)

They’ve definitely had better days.

Botch job and the cops chasing them until Michael lost them a few blocks back, but the damage had already been done. Tires shredded from bullets and reckless driving and it’s just as much luck as skill that leaves them alive at the end of it.

“Gavin, you need to shut the fuck up,” Michael says, pained wheeze to it as Gavin drags him from the wreck of their getaway car.

Used to be a lovely little thing. Shiny and fast and expensive as balls to hear Michael talk, and now it’s so much scrap metal wrapped around a light pole. Gas leaking from the tank and a hazard to be around.

Gavin ignores Michael because he’s the one who crashed the car and Gavin is not having it from him right now.

Not after that stunning display of skill and ability and total lack of turning to avoid obstacles.

“Oh my God,” Michael mutters, stumbling hard against Gavin who takes more of his weight without protest. “Oh my fucking God. Gimme your gun, asshole, swear to God I’m going to kill you myself.”

Gavin snorts, and focuses on hauling Michael out of the blast range. Not the easiest thing he’s ever done, body protesting every step of the way and Michael's breathing all wrong in his ear, but they don’t have a lot of choice in things at the moment.

When Gavin judges they’re a reasonable distance away he settles Michael against a wall because he’s a heavy bastard and Gavin’s ribs are not happy about it. (His ribs, his back. Everything, really.)

Mind churning, trying to figure out where they go from here.

The others got away – they did - and Gavin’s phone is lost in the wreckage of the car, too risky to go back for it. God knows where Michael’s is after the tussle with the Merryweather goon before they got out of the building.

Michael’s earpiece went the way of his phone, most likely, and Gavin’s is fidgety, fussy. Bursts of static in between snippets of conversation from the others.

Not the worst situation, but they’ve been better.

There’s a safehouse not too far from where they are.

Good place to go to ground until things settle down out here. Contact the others to let them know they’re still alive, patch each other up best they can.

Just. Need to rest first, orient themselves before they set off.

“Getting a bit fat there, boi,” he murmurs, because Michael’s not doing well. Bleeding all over and looking like he just came out of the fight ring again. Worse. “Too many fast food runs with Jeremy, I reckon.”

Michael scowls at him, but doesn’t argue the point, which is worrying in itself.

“Never thought I’d see the day,” Gavin says, sitting back on his heels. Feels blood spilling from his split lip when he grins, slipping into the scruff on his chin but it’s a small hurt. Slight sting compared to everything else. “Michael Jones, agreeing with me.”

And there, there is the Michael Gavin knows. Snarl on his face and mouth opening to retort, slap Gavin down a peg or two in this little back-and-forth game of theirs.

“Fuck.”

There’s a sound behind Gavin. Footsteps. Michael’s gaze skipping past him to focus on something behind him, eyes narrowing. Hand coming up to grab the front of Gavin's shirt, jerking him down so their eyes meet.

Gavin flails, throws a hand out for balance. It puts them closer together, lets Michael speak without fear of his words carrying past them.

“Get the fuck out of here Gavin,” he says, no levity to it. “Go.”

Gavin stares at him, sees the worry, fear, in his eyes quickly hidden because Michael's like that, isn’t he. Glares at Gavin to make sure he knows Michael’s not fucking around here, to goddamn listen to him for once. Please.

The footsteps slow. Stop altogether, and Gavin hears a gun being cocked.

Not the cops, because they would have shot by now. Yelled a bit too, unimaginative threats and insults, but whoever crept up on them hasn’t bothered with that.

Puts the hair on the back of Gavin’s neck up, chill down his spine.

“Alright,” Gavin says, just for Michael. “Alright.”

There’s a flash of relief, determination, in Michael's eyes as he lets Gavin go. Shoves him to push him away, and Gavin uses the slight momentum to start things off.

Just -

“Sorry, boi,” he says, and snatches the gun he can see tucked into Michael’s waistband hidden by that jacket of his. Gets to his feet and turns, gun raised to see a figure standing a few feet away.

Everyone in Los Santos knows who the Vagabond is, of course they do. Too many stories, rumors, floating about the city not to.

Somehow the reality of the man is more intimidating than all the horrible stories that go along with the name, his reputation.

Black of his skull mask terrifying in the dim light of the alley, and Gavin can hear Michael bitching him out behind him. (Fear, desperation. Anger.)

“I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” Gavin says, lays the charm on thick as he spots the Vagabond’s gun aimed at him, lovely little standoff going on. “Which is a shame, I’ve heard about your work. Amazing stuff.”

Horrifying, too, if you just go by the stories.

If you bother to do a little digging, you get a better idea of the truth. Glimpse of the larger picture and all that.

Still a big, scary bastard, but not quite the monster people like to paint him as.

Ruthless, yes, but not a monster. (Los Santos, though. Loves to twist things just so, turn things on their heads and backwards.)

The Vagabond’s watching them, nary a flicker of emotion to give him away. Tall and dark and menacing and Gavin will be honest here, no reason not to, but this isn’t how he thought he’d go out.

And he’s thought about it, since he got into this life. Scraping by on his own by picking pockets and dabbling in night-time robbery. Picking up hacking almost by accident and on and on and on, all the ways he’d die and never once something like this.

Oversight on his part, surely.

The crew’s gotten big enough to be a problem for people here in Los Santos. Rocking the boat, as the says goes. Shaking things up and making people uneasy and of course someone would think of sending the Vagabond after them before too long.

“Gavin, what the fuck?” Michael hisses, sound of his voice drawing the Vagabond’s attention as he switches his aim to Michael.

Nice fat target siting on his arse the way he is, and Gavin won’t have that either.

Moves to put himself between Michael and the Vagabond’s gun, smile full of teeth when the man tips his head to the side, just so.

Not expecting Gavin to do that, or the way Michael's full-on bitching at Gavin out for being this kind of stupid. (Might stand a chance if he ran, popped off a few shots at the Vagabond and fled. Left Michael behind as a sacrifice and everything would be fine, yeah? No worries at all.)

Gavin’s earpiece decides it’s going to be good, and he gets a loud burst of static in his ear followed by worried yelling – the others demanding to know what’s going on – and it’s distracting. So. Gavin reaches up and pulls the mangled thing out of his ear. Tucks all nice and safe in his shirt pocket and gives the Vagabond a little smile.

“Sorry, that was rude of me,” he says. Shrugs. “It was giving me a bit of a headache too, to be honest.”

There’s a burst of muffled yelling, shouting, cursing from the earpiece, and Gavin smiles brighter when the Vagabond gives him this look.

Well.

Gavin assumes he’s giving him that look anyway, so used to the particular vibe he gets when someone does it.

“Where were we?” Gavin asks, shuffles to keep Michael squarely behind him when Michael moves around.

Tries to pull the Vagabond’s attention back to him, and Gavin’s certain they must look like a pair of lunatics, but nothing about this is funny.

The Vagabond says nothing, but after a moment he lowers his gun.

Gavin is...confused, to say the least.

Figures the only reason the Vagabond would track them down like this would be to kill them, and since the man has a zero percent failure rate this is odd behavior from him.

“Fucking shoot him!” Michael hisses, like one of those damned shoulder angels you see in the cartoons. “Gavin!”

Gavin huffs, shifts his grip on his borrowed gun and thinks about it.

He’s a better-than-average shot, and from this distance there’s not much chance he’d miss. Assuming the Vagabond is half as good as the rumors say, he’ll still lose precious seconds bringing his gun back up to aim it at Gavin. (Or, Gavin thinks. He could go for Michael instead. Cost him less time to aim and all that.)

So.

Gavin lowers his gun, decides it’s the safer bet here. Show of trust or faith, or maybe just Gavin being a naive bastard about to get them both killed. (Flip a coin, take a risk.)

The Vagabond could have shot them any time he wanted. Killed them before they even knew he was there, those deliberate footsteps and accompanying drama. Little standoff that’s taken a strange turn.

He doesn’t know why the Vagabond hasn’t, but Gavin’s not about to question it. (Not yet.)

The Vagabond inclines his head – smug bastard – and walks away without a word spoken.

Gavin stares after him, no idea what to make of the whole strange situation.

“Jesus fuck, Gavin, what was that?” Michael demands, struggles to get on his feet, and Gavin tucks his gun away to help the idiot before he hurts himself.

Takes the glare Michael shoots him, the frustrated punch to his shoulder without complaint because he knows Michael.

“Safehouse isn’t far,” Gavin says, feeling shaky after that confrontation with the Vagabond, the aftermath of the chase and resulting crash. The whole damn day. “You going to faint on me before we get there?”

Teasing edge to it, mocking, just enough to get Michael fired up. Stubborn as hell and angry about it as he berates Gavin for being an idiot and not running while he had the chance, and Gavin bites down a laugh as he points them in the right direction.

========

They get one hell of a dressing down from Geoff and Jack when the others come get them. Lecture about why you don’t just go radio silent on them like that Gavin, Jesus fucking Christ. (Too soft when it comes down to it, this crew. Care about each other too damn much and it’s bound to get them killed one day.)

Gavin listens to it all with half an ear, well used to Geoff’s lectures and the things he won’t, can’t, say that go into them. Too busy watching Jack handling Michael, quiet words and the way the two of them just get one another.

And then -

“He what?” Jack says, tone of his voice derailing Geoff’s lecture, drawing everyone's attention.

Gavin winces as Jack pins him in place with a look. Expression hard to read as always.

“What’s this about the Vagabond?”

Yes, that.

Gavin clears his throat, all too aware of the way everyone’s watching him.

“Did I forget to mention that?”

========

Geoff puts the crew on lockdown, once everyone’s accounted for. Hides them away in a safehouse only the crew knows about until they get this mess sorted, and Gavin goes along with if for the first few days.

Hurts too much to get up to any shenanigans, as Jack phrases it. Waits until he heals up a bit, until Michael's moving around under his own power. Gotten more vocal about things and doesn’t make Gavin worry so much.

Doesn’t stop him from getting restless from being cooped up, sneaking out to wander the perimeter. Old habits and paranoia, and it pays off in its own way a week down the road when he realizes there’s a sniper out there.

Little red light sweeping along the asphalt to land over his heart, wink of light against the scope on a rooftop in the distance.

Gentle warning, Gavin knows. Rooted to the spot, all too aware of how vulnerable he is.

Could be anyone out there, the bastards after them or some other enemy with incredible timing.

The way the dot vanishes without warning, there and gone, and Gavin still standing tells him it’s not.

Knows the Vagabond’s too smart to hang around after that little...whatever it was, but he still goes to check it out.

Slips past the B-Team members guarding the perimeter and makes his best guess where the Vagabond would have set up his sniper’s nest. Spends half the night looking for it before he stumbles on that damn thing. Finds cigarette butts and empty cans of diet eCola. Candy wrappers. Nothing helpful, and it’s driving Gavin mad.

So.

Gavin sneaks out.

Does a proper job of it after he lets slip they might want to consider the threat of snipers. (Plenty of viable spots for one to set up shop, pick them off one by one, and all that.)

Plays dirty and calls on a favor with Lindsay, bribes Matt with guaranteed good behavior from Gavin for a solid month to be redeemed when Matt sees fit.

Lindsay’s too much like him, fire in her eyes about protecting their boys and she knows how Gavin works by now. Makes him promise to check in regularly. Not do anything stupid like getting himself killed, and sends him off with a kiss to his cheek and the keys to one of her cars in his hand. Winks as she tells him no one knows it’s out of the shop yet, won’t be missed.

And Matt -

He’s Matt.

Too clever by far, saw it coming from the moment Gavin and Michael told the crew about the Vagabond’s appearance.

Demands Gavin send him everything he finds out and maybe not die out there, huh? Be a shitty way to go out.

Gavin leaves his gear at the warehouse because that would be a dead giveaway of his intentions, and he’s got plenty stashed elsewhere. (Never know when something will go wrong, after all. Best to be prepared for anything.)

He goes to a safehouse even Michael doesn’t know about. Hidey spot from before his days with the crew he hasn’t needed in ages. Dusts everything off and starts planning.

Gavin goes to see Maddy down by the docks. Ignores the rumblings from her boys who are the closest things to pirates Los Santos has these days.

Wheels and deals, sells off favors like it’s going out of fashion and gets names, a motive, in return. (Bit of debt he can’t handle, the way of things in a city like Los Santos.)

Bastards the Fakes tangled with a year back, broke their crews down to kindling when they tried to move in Fake territory. Killed some of their allies in the area, made a mess of things that forced them to treat more harshly than they would have otherwise. (Geoff coldly furious, and the rest right there with him.)

“Ah, well then,” Gavin says, does a little more digging after sending off a message to Matt with what he’s learned.

More than enough reason to hold a grudge. Want to hit back at the Fakes, make them hurt.

Go after them one by one, let Geoff watch his little empire crumble and burn, supports knocked out from under him.

Maybe hire the Vagabond, offer him a significant amount of money to make sure someone did the job right, but.

Why let Gavin and Michael go?

Why not kill Gavin when he had him in his cross hairs? Or go after the others when he had the element of surprise on his side?

==========

Turns out, even the Vagabond’s got enemies too big to handle on his own.

Rival crew to the Fakes, funding the bastards who are taking the revenge game to a far more personal level than most they’ve dealt with until now.

Hired the Vagabond on to deal with them because they didn’t trust those idiots to get the job done, or maybe they just wanted to watch the chaos unfold.

Weaken the Fakes, get them looking the wrong way and move in for the kill. Use the Vagabond as another distraction in the meantime.

Big enough threat to make him agree to work for them, and not one of theirs so why worry what happens to him? (Might want to lump him in with the Fakes before it’s all said and done, remove another obstacle in their way.)

“Did I get that right?” Gavin asks, arm pressed to his throat and point of a knife resting under his eye.

Vagabond in his space and most likely the stupidest risk Gavin’s taken to date. (Hopefully not his last.)

“I don’t have all the details, so I hope you forgive me. I did the best I could with what I had.”

And oh, the favors he owes now. Gonna be a long time in getting back to where he was before all this.

The Vagabond is staring at him, using that damn mask and this whole knife thing of his to intimidate Gavin, but honestly.

The man’s been leaving them a trail of breadcrumbs to follow this whole time. Doing what he can to lead them to the right answers without outright telling them.

Well, alright.

He’d taken a more roundabout way of doing things than most people would, but Gavin figured it out, didn't he?

Tracked the man to his little safehouse and almost gotten past his security before being caught.

And now here they are.

There’s a nail digging into Gavin's back, stabbing into his shoulder blade and he wriggles a little. Tries to get the pressure off it – and the Vagabond makes this...noise.

Alarmed, has him yanking the knife away from Gavin’s face and moving back a little, head cocked as though he has no damn idea what to make of Gavin.

“Sorry, sorry,” Gavin mutters, using what room he’s been given by the Vagabond backing off to get more comfortable. “Nail poking me in the back. Annoying.”

He looks up at the Vagabond, and goes still because the man seems confused.

Holds the knife up where Gavin can see it and waggles it to remind Gavin of the precarious position he’s in. (Looks like he can’t believe Gavin isn’t in the least bit concerned.)

“Yes, yes,” Gavin says. Soothes. “You love your knives. I understand. Very shiny and sharp.”

The arm against Gavin’s throat presses harder, punishment for making light of things, and Gavin -

“Rude,” Gavin wheezes, going lightheaded. “Also, not helping your case.”

There’s a little snarl, frustration to it as the Vagabond eases up.

Looms.

They stare at each other for a long, long moment, and then the Vagabond just...deflates.

Doesn’t sigh, no, but he pulls his arm away from Gavin’s throat, takes a few steps back and his shoulder slump.

Watches Gavin, completely baffled.

Knife in his hand like a child who’s thrown a tantrum and didn’t get the reaction he expected and no idea what to do next.

And Gavin.

Gavin grins, straightens his shirt and runs a hand through his hair. Plays off the Golden Boy’s reputation, borrows a little of Geoff’s theatrics.

“What do you say,” Gavin says, bounces on his heels. “What do you say we team up, yeah? Make those bastards sorry they thought they could get away with this?”

Using those poor bastards with a grudge against the Fake, strong-arming the Vagabond into working for them. Everything they’ve done to get things to this stage, send the Fakes into hiding and damn near kill Michael.

All of it.

Turn everything around on them and let them know who they’re messing with, remind them how the Fakes got where they are. Why everyone in the city knows the Vagabond’s name, his reputation.

Rude wake up call, as they say, and too long in coming.

The Vagabond snorts, tucks his knife away and looks at Gavin.

Nods his head, and Gavin laughs.

Knows he’s a damned idiot, taking the risks he has, but he’s got a good feeling about this.

[carmenlire]

Nowhere Else

Post 3x19

read on ao3

Alec wakes slowly, the early morning sunshine dusting him in gold.

He smiles a little before carefully turning to face the wall of warmth that’d been at his back.

The sight he sees steals his breath for the millionth time.

Magnus is always beautiful. Hands down, he’s the most attractive man that Alec’s ever laid eyes on. But it’s times like this that he can’t quite believe that he gets to have this. Magnus’s mouth is open on slow, deep breaths. His lips are a little chapped and there’s a smudge of eyeliner on his cheek from where he didn’t quite manage to get all of it before tumbling into bed last night.

The arm still over Alec’s middle suddenly tenses and Magnus grins, just a little, just enough to be noticeable.

“Watching me sleep, Alexander?” His voice is teasing, slow and sleepy with the faintest rasp, and Alec feels it curl around him.

“And if I was?”

His own voice is equally soft. He doesn’t want to ruin this bubble they’ve found themselves in. It’s far from the first morning Alec’s woken up and studied Magnus but it always catches his heart in a vise grip.

Magnus’s eyes open, gold catching the light. “A picture will last longer, you know,” he offers lightly as his thumb starts sweeping low on Alec’s hip.

With a raised brow, Alec laughs and moves to get up, turning away from Magnus to where his phone is charging on his bedside table. “Well, if you insist--”

“Get back here, Alexander.”

Without warning, Alec finds himself on his back, Magnus looming over him. There’s a gleam in his eye as he studies his fiance. Alec feels giddy at the attention. It’s like syrup’s moving through his veins, slow and sweet and distantly, he wishes that they never had to leave this sanctuary of theirs.

Magnus must catch a shifting of Alec’s expression because he tilts his head, prompts, “Darling?”

Speaking through the sudden lump in his throat, Alec manages to ask, “Can we stay here? Just like this, just you and me.”

Magnus’s eyes widen for an instant before his face softens. Resting a hand on Alec’s cheek, he leans down until their lips meet.

The kiss is achingly gentle and Alec feels tears burn his eyes, feels the icy chill as one escapes and leaves a damp trail in its wake.

Magnus pulls back and wipes it away.

“How long, Alexander?” Alec must look confused because Magnus clarifies, “How long do you want me? How long do you want to stay here, just the two of us, away from everything else?”

Alec has a brief moment to think Magnus’s question is ridiculous. There’s only one answer-- will only ever be one answer.

“Forever,” he replies hoarsely. “Stay with me forever. I don’t need the world. I just need you and this and us.”

Magnus looks stunned for a moment before his eyes turn molten and dull color sweeps across his cheeks.

“Your wish, my darling,” Magnus whispers. “We’ll stay here until hell freezes over.”

He leans down again and Alec’s breath catches as his fiance-- the love of his life-- kisses a trail along his jaw, down his neck to his pulse. He tilts his head back, giving Magnus more access as his eyes fall shut, bliss and yearning and so much damn love pouring through his veins. He barely hears Magnus’s reply over the thunder of blood in his ears but when he does, his chest cracks open in the best damn way.

“I’m yours, Alexander, and there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here beside you. Nothing on this goddamned earth could tear me away from you. I’m here as long as you want me.”

“Always,” Alec manages, throat aching with unshed tears. “Forever.”

Alec wakes up slowly, mouth upturned as he reaches an arm out, expecting warmth.

When that doesn’t happen, when his hand sweeps over cold sheets, his mouth turns to ash.

He’s filled with a self-hatred so intense that he knows he’d collapse under the weight of it all if he were standing.

Sitting up, Alec scrubs his hands over his face, pushing his palms into burning eyes hard enough to hurt.

The dream was nothing but a bitter reminder of what he’d given up-- what he’d thrown away to save his boyfriend and give him back his life.

Even if Alec feels like a zombie, like a heartbroken zombie whose life has turned into a wasteland, he tells himself that it’s for the best.

He’s woken up from this dream every morning for the past two weeks and Alec doesn’t know how much more he can take. He feels like he’s going insane and oh, God, how he wishes he didn’t have to wake up. He’d happily sleep eternity away if it meant he’d never have to wake up and face his decision all over again, day after day, each morning slicing his goddamned heart to ribbons.

Rubbing a hand over his chest, Alec wonders how much more he can take. Sleep is his only salvation, dreams filled with Magnus. He stills feels the echo of happiness from his dream and it makes him ache down to his very soul.

With a sigh, Alec looks over at his bedside clock and sees that it’s just shy of dawn. Throwing the covers off, he stands on shaky legs and pulls on a pair of sweatpants.

The training room’s always empty this time of day and if Alec’s going to feel pain, he’s always preferred it be physical.

Magnus gasps as his back hits the wall. Alec’s a long line of heat against him, his hands rough and possessive and everything Magnus could ask for.

Everywhere his boyfriend touches burns. It’s like he’s burning from the inside, so much feeling rising up that it threatens to choke him.

He feels tears burn behind his eyes at the reverence Alec pours into him but it’s not enough.

Harder, he wants to demand.

Give me more. Give me everything.

He wants Alec’s love to sear into him, yearns to feel the depth of love that sometimes seems to light Alec up from the inside out. It pours out of him in waves, washes over Magnus like gold, warm and heavy and irresistible.

He’s never cold when he’s with Alec.

Pulling back, Alec sucks a bruise over Magnus’s neck and Magnus keens, high and insistent.

“So good, darling,” he says on a breath. “You love me so good.”

“That’s good,” Alec mutters hoarsely, resting a hand over the thundering beat of Magnus’s heart. “Because I love you with everything I am. I love you more than anything. I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life.”

Magnus hears the words, lets them fall on him, wrap around his heart that’s so battered and bruised that it’s a wonder how he gets out of bed most mornings.

“Stay with me,” he says. “I need you, Alec. I need this, us.”

At Magnus’s plea-- and oh, how he wishes his voice wasn’t so damned vulnerable, that his request didn’t sound like he was begging-- Alec pulls back and Magnus is immediately washed with icy fear.

Oh, but how Alec’s eyes flash, hot and full of so much love that it almost knocks him to his knees.

His boyfriend raises a hand, sweeps a thumb over his bottom lip. “And where would I go,” he asks softly. “There’s nowhere else that I’d rather be than here, with you.”

He leans into Magnus’s space and Magnus’s breath catches at the kiss Alec places behind his ear before whispering, “Are you really afraid I’m gonna leave you?”

Magnus closes his eyes, loathe to admit to the fear that sometimes strangles him at the thought of Alec packing up and turning his back on him.

It’s nothing new. Magnus is too much, he’s not enough.

No one ever stays but Magnus needs Alec to be different. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Alec turned out like everyone else in a week, a year, a decade.

He knows he wouldn’t survive it.

Still, people always leave and Magnus is always left standing amidst his own devastation as he watches them walk away from him without a backwards glance. And sometimes, when the darkness wraps around him and he’s lost in memories, he can’t help but wonder when Alec will become another bitter lesson, another person who couldn’t stand Magnus Bane for who he was.

“I love you, Magnus. I’m yours, forever.”

Magnus shakily nods his head, eyes still closed. His throat closes on the words that he refuses to let out.

Make me yours. Make me believe it.

He lets himself get caught up in the overwhelming wave of Alec’s desire. His gasps turn to moans and he loses himself in a body that he knows as well as his own.

He pretends that it’s enough. He pretends that he’s enough for Alexander, that he’ll be enough for the rest of Alec’s life.

He pretends that forever doesn’t leave a bitter taste in his mouth and that this is his to keep for as long as he wants.

Magnus wakes on a gasp that sounds like a whimper in his bedroom.

It echoes in his ears long after it’s faded and Magnus feels like he’s suffocating under the pain that rides him in agonizing waves.

Damn you, Alexander, he seethes silently. Damn him for making me believe that they could have forever.

He swings his legs over until they land on the cold floor. Throwing a robe on haphazardly, Magnus leaves his empty bedroom and heads for the living room.

Wincing as the afternoon light burns his eyes and makes his headache worse, he walks straight to the drink cart. He grabs a glass and pours a splash-- or two, or five-- of whiskey into it, downing it in a few efficient swallows.

If he’s going to make it through the day, he needs reinforcements.

His chest feels like it’s been cracked open and Magnus absently rubs a hand over his heart, dully surprised to feel it beating after all.

The dreams plague him. Every night he sees-- feels-- Alec loving him and he’s so damned close to believing it when he wakes up, reality crashing over him all over again.

He thinks he’s going insane.

Every time Dream Alec whispers in his ear, every time Magnus feels the weight of calloused hands against his skin, he believes the lies. Alec’s a particularly persistent ghost and all Magnus can wonder is how much more he can take before there’s nothing left.

Eyes blurry, Magnus calls his magic to him and watches as blue sparks fall harmlessly to the carpet.

Magnus has been taught lessons that would break lesser men but it’s now that he wonders if Alec wouldn’t be his destruction after all.

Glancing at the clock on the wall, Magnus refills his glass and takes it back to his bedroom.

Asmodeus should be here within the hour and his father does so hate a rumpled appearance.

[chantalkrcmar]

India Receding…Further and Further

29 April 2021

As western news outlets catch on more and more to the enormous COVID tragedy unfolding in India, more and more people here in the US are asking how our friends and family there are doing.

And what do I say?

The truth is almost unbearably hard.

My mother-in-law, Sudha Dave (Mummy to Rahul and me; Dadi to Anamika), died unexpectedly a couple days ago. Another COVID casualty. Because of COVID’s burden on India’s already patchy and weak healthcare system, Mummy did not get the medical care she needed. So, though she will not be counted in the official COVID statistics, COVID was a contributing factor. (A note about the Indian government’s official COVID stats: Do not trust them. Currently, they put the COVID fatalities at 200,000 — not even counting those who died victims of the failing healthcare system. Experts claim the fatalities directly from COVID are actually already one million.)

The advice most everyone in India is getting right now from medical professionals and the government is: do not go to the hospital unless you are at death’s door. The unspoken message is also: And even if you are at death’s door, do not come expecting to get the care you need. Maybe you’ll be lucky, and maybe you won’t. Well, our family doctor gave my in-laws that advice when Mummy started having breathing trouble and low oxygen levels. My mother-in-law and father-in-law knew she was not well, but they thought she must be stable. Her doctor probably knew, but my in-laws did not know she was actually on death’s door. So once they brought her to the hospital, she went into cardiac arrest and that was it.

So what do I say to well-intentioned folks who ask me about India now? To us, it’s not an abstract headline in the New York Times or a clip on NPR. It’s flesh and blood and lots and lots of tears.

Honestly, it’s been horribly hard to hear, “How are your friends and family in India?” when I can’t respond with a simple, “They’re safe and healthy. Thanks for asking.”

The real answer is more like “Absolutely horrible. My mother-in-law just died, ripping a huge hole in the fabric of our family. One that will take a good long time to mend. And one that right now is just goddamn painful. And almost everyone else we know is getting COVID, to boot. Thanks for asking.”

I’m not sure that’s what well-intentioned acquaintances want to hear. 

My mother-in-law is gone, and with her, our experience of India is irrevocably and irreversibly changed forever. As I sit in the fog of grief, one of the many thoughts that keeps recurring is how much Mummy made India what it is to me. The first time I ever came to India, she met Rahul and me at the Mumbai International Airport with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers in hand. As she passed them to me, she said, “Welcome home.” Within minutes of getting to the apartment, we were sitting with hot cups of Ambubhai’s world famous chai in our hands. And so it began…At the time, I did not know how much India would become my second home. I came to find over time that Mummy was right. I was coming home.

Our family home in Mumbai will be so…quiet…next time we’re there. My mother-in-law was a presence to be reckoned with. She brought a lot of laughter and love and zaniness and, yes, sometimes exasperation, into our home. She and Anamika would paint together, and watch Paw Patrol in Hindi, and have epic battles of the will over how much aanda or dhal or bhindi or chapati Anamika would eat. Ultimately, though, my mother-in-law adored Anamika so much that…well, who do you think won their battles of the will? We all managed to live together through the world’s harshest lockdown without even fighting that much. Even while going through it, I knew how remarkable that was. Sure, there were annoyances, and sure there were some arguments, but we five adults and one four year old managed pretty well.

My mother-in-law was imperious, curious, quite adventurous — especially for a woman who was raised in a time in India when girls and women were expected to be nothing but docile and demur. Many, sadly, are still expected to be that way. She loved Anamika’s feistiness and self-assurance, probably partly because she saw parts of herself, and her aspirations for herself, in her little granddaughter.

Mummy’s death is having wide ripple effects. Anamika and I are grief stricken; Rahul is, of course, even more so. Ambu Uncle is a mess, too. On WhatsApp video calls, he looks so drained. Riaz Uncle, my in-laws’ driver who hasn’t really driven them anywhere all year but is still being paid (if only other Indians would be as fair and humane as my father-in-law) looked stricken when we spoke to him on WhatsApp too. My father-in-law called Riaz Uncle to come drive them to the hospital so Mummy could get a CT Scan and then drive them home. Nobody knew that it would be a one-way trip.

Tutuji and Hemanta are also so affected. When we called to tell them Mummy had died, Tutuji and Rahul both broke down and sobbed together. Tutu and Hemanta have stayed in our home in Mumbai with all of us many times over the years. Hemanta calls my in-laws Dada and Dadi, just like Anamika does. Over the past couple days, Hemanta has been calling us regularly. Our 11 year old foster son is acting so mature. He inquires, “Has Haathi Papa [Rahul] eaten lately? Is he sleeping enough?” Hemanta also called us in the middle of the night yesterday to report that he had called Ambu Uncle to check in on him and Dada. He is concerned about them too. “Dada has eaten cherries,” he solemnly told us. Hemanta’s care for them is so touching. Anamika has also been so attentive to Rahul. She’s been hugging him and holding his hand and stroking his head when he cries. She keeps saying, “Dadi was my Dadi.” And then she reluctantly follows with, “And she was yours, too, Papa.”

Now we all must mourn and celebrate Mummy together over WhatsApp. Rahul’s cousin Alka, mercifully, lives in Mumbai and is fully vaccinated. So she’s been helping my father-in-law navigate the bureaucratic hoops, and the emotional fallout, that follow death. Alka helped Rahul “attend” Mummy’s cremation through WhatsApp video. Because the COVID situation in India is such a nightmare, we cannot go there now. Many international flights to and from India are canceled anyway, and soon all will be. Rahul and I have not gotten our second dose of the vaccine yet either. My poor father-in-law can’t even have visitors right now. So he and Ambu field phone calls from friends and relatives, and then sit in their quiet home. A home that is stuffed with my mother-in-law’s being — her colorful sarees spilling out of one whole closet, her tiny bottles of shampoo, perfume, lotion everywhere. She had a funny habit of collecting small hotel toiletries from everywhere they traveled.

Anamika and Mummy painted together a lot during lockdown, but after we left India, my mother-in-law took her artwork to a new level. Using Anamika’s bedroom as her studio, she was constantly trying new techniques. She was waiting for our return so she could resume doing art with her favorite creative companion, Anamika. The fact that that day never did come is such a loss for her and for Anamika. Theirs was a bond that brought me such joy. My only surviving grandmother when I was a child was downright mean. So to see how much love my mother-in-law showered on Anamika was heartwarming. So that’s what a grandmother/granddaughter relationship is supposed to look like!

I never thought when we left India in September that we’d never see Mummy again. We knew that my in-laws were in a high risk category for COVID, but we also knew they were willing to be shut-ins until the pandemic was past and that Ambu Uncle would take excellent care of them. I think we overlooked the fact that the Indian healthcare system would totally collapse, leaving them at risk if anything else went wrong.

This post is obviously about my mother-in-law, but the grief over her death is being compounded by our stress and worries about others in India, too. I am not sure I can even appropriately convey how dire the situation in India is now. As I was writing this post, I got a message from Thresiamma, a friend who runs an NGO in Kerala, the south of India.  She is 74 and she has COVID. She has taken a turn for the worse and was hospitalized. I hope she makes it out. But I am not too terribly hopeful. And Rahul’s good friend Ahmet who lives in Mumbai has told him that about 10% of his co-workers have died of COVID. His colleagues were not elderly — nor were they poor and unable to afford medical care. It’s just not available much of the time — no matter who you pay off. The Indian crony system has met its match during this pandemic.

Here’s a little taste of just how bad it is in India...

https://thewire.in/government/india-covid-19-government-crime-against-humanity

Right before the pandemic hit India, we took a little family vacation to one of our favorite travel destinations: Kodaikanal, a small town in the Western Ghat mountains in Tamil Nadu. Thank the gods we got there one last time. Who knew what was just around the corner?!

I snapped this photo of Anamika hamming it up with her Dadi and Dada in front of one of our favorite spots in Kodai: The Pastry Corner, a little hole-in-the-wall bakery with the most amazing South Indian filter coffee, delectable homemade ice cream and gooey pastries. The Pastry Corner is tiny; it’s grimy; the ice cream server’s nine fingers were always dirty. But we all loved it and made a daily pilgrimage down the road to share outdoor benches jam-packed with locals and sticky from all the treats customers had been dropping all day. Best. Place. Ever. (And, no, those coffee cups were not all ours. Just most of them were.)

[purplesurveys]

158

What is the thing that makes you take a survey? If they don’t have grammar or spelling that I have to correct all the time. Open-ended questions are a must, too.

Have you ever had an alcoholic beverage? Yes I had wine once. Hated it.

Do you ever feel like you just HAVE to sing out loud? I feel that way most when I’m alone in the car. Then I can be as loud as I wish. It’s a good way to destress after a long day and whil dealing with Metro Manila traffic.

Have you ever watched RuPaul's Drag Race? If yes, what makes it enjoyable? No, I’ve never seen it.

Do you own a TV? If so, what do you watch on it? We do, but I’ve since had the one in my room removed. I never watch anything on the TV these days, instead we use it for the PS4 and watching DVD’s.

Do you have Netflix/ViaPlay/other similar online channel? We finally have Netflix in the Philippines but I don’t understand why since the national internet connection is too slow to keep up anyway.

Have you ever watched Nostalgia Critic or Nostalgia Chick? I’ve never even heard of either.

What is the strangest type of food you have eaten? I dunno, no food is foreign to me. I guess the closest I can consider strange though was my experience eating sea urchin. Ohhhh and I ate spicy chocolate ice cream too, that was definitely something else.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I’m not into candy so I’ve only ever eaten the popular ones.

What would be your most ideal profession? If we’re really talking ideal, I’d be on my way to becoming an astronaut now.

What kind of rides do you enjoy the most at amusement parks? ...Food stalls.

Have you tried those colouring books for adults? No. I’ve wanted them for the past two years but was always too frugal to treat myself to one.

What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I’m the most open book I know and there’s no topic I ever want to avoid, sensitive as it may get; but I guess, I don’t want to be too honest with anyone who is mutually suicidal, for my own sake and theirs.

Someone is about to take your picture. How do you react? I just smile and hope I look decent. I was never one to give poses.

Do you frequent any "funny pictures" site? If so, which one? Not anymore. I was in 9GAG a lot when it was popular but that was like six years ago.

Do you wash your dishes by hand or do you have a dishwasher? By hand. Dishwashers are foreign as heck to Asians.

Which scent of fabric softener do you like the best? No preference.

Do you ever get a chance to stay home alone? If not, why not? Yup, I’m normally home alone on Mondays since I don’t have school. I love being alone, so it’s relaxing to me.

Are you/have you ever been engaged? If not, would you like to be one day? No, and yes.

Are you/have you ever been married? If not, would you like to be one day? No, and yes.

What makes a person ugly? Being homophobic and/or racist.

What makes a person beautiful? Meh, I’m pretty cynical about people.

What is the craziest hairstyle and colour you've had? I’ve never been crazy with my hair so the only time I got daring with it was when I had it layered in fifth grade. It was a completely different look and everyone was sh00kt. Still pretty modest compared to what others have done to their hair though.

What was the last book you read? I read some snippets from Without Seeing the Dawn, which is one of the few required high school readings I actually enjoyed. It’s about life before and during the Japanese occupation of the Philippines. Super raw and sensitive stuff, but I guess that’s why I’m drawn to it.

Is there a book that you are currently reading? ^ I plan to continue that book.

Do you prefer an actual book or ebooks? Why? Actual books. I cannot for the life of me concentrate when trying an e-book.

What was your first gaming console? One of my first memories actually was playing with those zapper guns in the 90s, so I’m guessing we could have had either an NES or SNES.

Have you ever played with an actual pinball machine? Doubt it. I used to play with the one that came with Windows XP though; I was on that shit all the time when Internet wasn’t a thing yet.

^If so, what was the first pinball machine you played?

Do you have any siblings? If so, how close are you? Yeah. We’re close on a buddy sort of level, but it doesn’t get any deeper than that. We don’t have heart-to-heart conversations or hug or write anything for each other.

Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? I’m waiting for the weekend to start so I can finally have some semblance of a break.

Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? Applying for one, currently. It’s a journalism club in my university.

What is something you're very passionate about? 2016 me would say journalism. I dunno at this point.

Is there something you'd like to change about yourself? Uh yeah. I wish my anxiety were gone. I wish I was less sensitive. I wish I didn’t have my triggers.

Have you ever had a sunburn? Where on your body was it? I got sunburns quickly as a kid, and it was all over – nose, arms, back. I never get them now.

Do you have or would you like to have a tattoo? If so, where? I wanted a bunch before, but quickly realized I will never get over my fear of needles and anything penetrating my skin.

What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? Hmmmmm last thing I studied was my prof’s slides in geography, which he uploaded onto Google Drive.

Which fictional villain is your favourite? Welp I can’t think of any right now but Sharpay Evans was neat. I was always rooting for her.

What was the last present you gave someone? I gave my girlfriend’s sisters their favorite chocolate snacks if that counts.

Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Sure, when I get to watch them. I won’t voluntarily get tickets to see them though. The last one I saw was a friend’s theater club production last March 2016.

Can you hear your neighbours through the walls? I’m chilling in Gabie’s place right now, but no the neighbors aren’t making any noise.

Have you ever had something custom made? Yes, my prom dress.

Have you ever had a serious injury? Yeah some really badly infected wounds here and there.

What was the last thing you achieved? Not have one goddamn break all week.

What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I can die happy once I get my own home.

Would you enjoy being famous? No. Famous in my field, sure. But life as a celebrity sounds egh.

Which country would you least like to visit? America.

Do you collect anything? Just receipts and flowers from my girlfriend. I’ve kept the very very first flower she gave me back in 2014.

What's under your bed? There are several big containers, and they have the old wrestling magazines I collected before, my dad’s car magazines, and some of my brother’s kiddie magazines as well. Apparently we love hoarding magazines?

What is something you've been meaning to get done but haven't yet? LOTS OF STUFF AND I AM GIVING MYSELF THIS TINY BREAK FOR SURVEYS OKAY I PROMISE TO WORK SOON UGH. I’ve been working constantly for three weeks now and I haven’t had a proper weekend since and I am so beat. 

Do you enjoy travelling? I love traveling, I’d drop everything to do it.

Where do you carry the things you need with you when leaving the house? In the bag that I use for school. If I’m out of school, I have this little pouch bag thing where I put my phone and wallet in.

Do you listen to entire discographies of bands or just a few songs? As much as possible I explore all their music, but if I happen to enjoy just a number of their songs that’s what I stick to.

What's the last thing you've made with your hands? A pot from clay.

On a daily basis, do you prefer to go by car or by bicycle? Why? Car. You really wanna try riding a bike through Metro Manila???

Do you know your ancestry? No but I’m sure it’s Malay like most Filipinos. Maybe a little Spanish on the side.

Which hair colour would you never want to have? Blonde.

Have you ever belonged to a club? If so, what was it? I mean we had what we called clubs back in my old school which is basically extracurricular stuff you do based on your interests, so we had Spanish club, math club, table tennis club, etc. I dunno if that counts, but those are the only ‘clubs’ I’ve ever been a part of.

What has been the most beautiful place you've visited? Sagada.

What is something that makes you sad? Bad grades.

Do you like hats? Sure, but that’s not exactly a necessity where I’m from.

What shape was the last funnily shaped cloud you saw? I don’t look at clouds all that often, and my imagination isn’t wild enough to think of shapes.

What is your most prized possession? My dog.

A famous chef is going to cook for you. Who is it and what do they cook? Gordon Ramsay plz fix up a burger for me.

[btspremiumtrash]

ʝυѕт уσυ ➵ ϼ.ϳɱ (03)

(credit to original gif creator)

⇓ Ship: Jimin x Reader

⇓ Genre: Assassins! AU, College! AU, Smut, Fluff, Angst-y

⇓ Summary: What began as you trying to top Park Jimin in becoming the number one assassin in your guild spiraled into an all-out war. All for your hand.

⇓ Word ct.: 8.3k

⇓ Warnings: Rape, mentions of blood

Previous Chapter⇔Next chapter

Masterlist

“It honestly infuriates me with the number of god-awful papers I had to sit and grade.” Kim Seokjin was in a fit. For one, he had to come to work today. Second, there’s a teacher’s assembly after school meaning not only does he have to spend more time here, but he also has to see Min Yoongi. But the final nail in the coffin was not being able to have his morning coffee. And now he has to deal with incompetent children who can’t seem to write a good paper.

He looked to the class as he took out the stack of papers from his bag. Sighing, he started his lecture once more. “I mean for Christ’s sake, I gave you possibly the easiest assignment in your goddamn lives and you all completely fucked it all up. How the hell did you all manage to do that, I’ll never know. But do know that we will be doing an equally heavily graded assignment today. And since I’m so nice, you all are going to be working in groups of three. So, while I’m handing back your papers, partner. Oh, and: if you don’t receive your paper, I threw it away for you. You’re welcome.”

You felt your feet get cold when he mentioned he threw some out. Were they really that bad? You could only imagine what grade yours got with how bad he made those papers sound. You’d be lucky to get it back. Granted, you did spend a decent amount of time working on it. The assignment was as simple as Seokjin claims in your mind: find out what satirical strategies are used when advertising a product and make an essay discussing them. Unless people had better things to do like go party or get down and dirty, you saw no difficulty with the assignment. So, all you could do was pray that you got a good grade.

With Namjoon immediately partnering up with you and a shy tap on your shoulder from Jeongguk asking to join, you had made your group of three. Seokjin handed each of you your papers back and oh my goodness you could not believe your eyes. 85%. The highest in the class as Seokjin wrote it. Your eyes practically lit up with how happy you were. Namjoon got 76% and Jeongguk got 73%.

“He does still have a soft spot for me,” Jeongguk mumbled to himself. He spoke a little louder to grab both yours and Namjoon’s attention. “I swear to God I bullshitted this entire paper and I still got a decent grade. Maybe English isn’t that bad after all.”

You chuckled while Namjoon rolled his eyes. “Or it could be because you blew up my phone asking me ‘Hyung, what does this mean?’ literally every five seconds the night it was due.”

Jeongguk pouted. “Whatever. I still passed.”

Namjoon didn’t wish to push the boy further so he stopped responding. As much as he wanted to add “because of me”, he knew he was going to get into an argument that he didn’t want to get into. Besides, Jeongguk looked cute when he pouted.

After Seokjin finished passing out the papers, he began explaining what the rest of the class will be doing for the remainder of the period. “Now, you all are in groups because of the assignment I’m about to give you. I want you and your partners to make one paper combining one method of advertisement from everyone. If you don’t have your paper, feel free to use your phone to look up one. You better not slack off on this assignment or else you’ll be sent to the principal’s office. Or better yet, you’ll be staying here after school with me and grading your own papers. How does that sound?”

When no one responded, Seokjin smirked. “That’s what I thought. Get to work. This is due at the end of class.”

And with that, you and the boys went to work. They both decided that since your handwriting was better than theirs that you would be the main writer. Namjoon was in charge of telling you what to write while Jeongguk looked for information on both the Internet as well as the papers.

You three finish the paper with time to spare. And so, your mind dawned on the shocking news you were told last night by Hoseok and Jeongguk.

Hoseok’s voice echoed throughout your head. “I’m guessing you never really knew this but Jimin, along with many others such as me and Ggukie including that fella on your lap, all liked you.”

The scene replays itself.

“You said seven of you. Who were the other three?”

Jeongguk looked in his rearview mirror to see your reaction as he answered “Namjoon, Yoongi, and Seokjin.”

“Namjoon.” You prompted for Namjoon along with Jeongguk to turn their attention to you. “Did you use to like me?”

Namjoon’s eyes shifted to Jeongguk who immediately looked away from his elder’s gaze. Exhaling, he nodded. “I got over it for Jimin’s sake. We all did. If you saw how much he wanted you then I bet, you’d do the same. He was willing to fight literally anyone who got in the way of him and you hitting it off. Unfortunately, he was experiencing some trauma from a terrible accident with his family. He pushed everyone, especially me, away from him.”

That would explain why Jimin never brought up the fact that he was friends with Namjoon. But what about this event with his family? Did they leave him? The picture from the room you accidentally walked in on in Jimin’s mansion left a different generalization in your mind. You inferred that they were happy to have him as a son. They were all happy to be a family.

“So, what happened to his family?”

Namjoon hesitated to tell you at first but eventually gave in. “They died. When he was only sixteen years old, Jimin lost his entire family to an assassination clan that is now extinct called the Purple Lilies.”

The Purple Lilies. That name rung a bell in your head as that was the same guild that Namjoon’s sister was in. Maybe that was why Jimin never brought up the fact that he and Namjoon were once close friends. His sister probably was involved in the death of Jimin’s family, making Jimin hate only Namjoon to this day. Even though he isolated himself from the boys at first, once he finally got over it he tried to reconnect with everyone else. Except for Namjoon. Never Namjoon.

Namjoon didn’t seem to mind. On the outside that is. On the inside, the guilt of knowing his sister was responsible for killing Jimin’s family still haunts him even now. If only he knew why his sister came late sometimes when dinner already started. Why she would try and change the subject whenever he or his parents asked where she was all that time of being out. He was so blind, and it cost him.

He thought that one day Jimin would ask to be friends again. But that day never came. Yet he never lost hope. He knows Jimin. He knows he’ll come to his senses. Maybe you were the key to that door being unlocked. Just maybe.

“So, who’s funeral are we going to? Why did you guys look all somber?” A familiar voice greeted you all as Hoseok took his seat at the table the three of you were sitting around.

It was silent for a little bit until Jeongguk began explaining the situation. “(Y/n) here just got the gritty details about Jimin’s family. I’m honestly surprised she never knew until just now with the amount of time hyung and her hang around.”

Namjoon rolled his eyes. “It never came to mind. Besides, how am I supposed to slip ‘Oh yeah, the love of your life’s family kinda died and it’s my sister’s fault. You know the one that I told you also died’ into a casual conversation?”

“Joonie, you’ve slipped worse things into conversations,” you snickered. “You told me about your first time with a girl when the conversation originally started off with ‘Is water wet?’.”

“I—"

But before Namjoon had a chance to explain himself, the two boys were laughing like crazy. Jeongguk throwing his head back in a fit of laughter and Hoseok practically threw himself at you. You couldn’t help but feel sorry for the flushed expression Namjoon had when you told Jeongguk and Hoseok about the odd talks you two have. Eventually, you whispered into Namjoon’s ear while the two were still cackling that you were sorry. But of course, not without giggling a bit to yourself.

Once they were done busting their lungs, they calmed down. Hoseok, still out of breath but not enough to speak, said, “That. Has got to be the funniest shit I’ve heard all day and the day hasn’t even started yet. Nothing could top that.”

Jeongguk didn’t speak until he was fully calm, but even then, he still let out some chuckles here and there. He looked directly at Namjoon who looked defeated and tired. “And you said I talk about weird things. What’s weird is that you never told us about your first time and we’ve known you longer.”

As much as Namjoon wanted to say anything, he just couldn’t. And so you said something instead. “Oh come on now guys. Go easy on him.”

Hoseok tsked at your attempt to cover for your best friend. “Tch. For all you know, he may still have feelings for you. Maybe that’s why—”

“That’s enough out of you today,” Namjoon spoke with daggers for eyes as he shot Hoseok a look that meant if he disobeyed then he would be met with dire consequences. Hoseok may be older than him, but it nevertheless shut Hoseok up. He just told you that none of them possess the same feelings that each of them once had for you. So, having Hoseok attempting to say otherwise was Namjoon’s last straw.

Just then, Seokjin called out to the class to turn in their papers since the bell was set to ring in about two minutes. Namjoon and you both decided to have the little one do the task. Your phone buzzed with a notification from Taehyung to meet him and the rest of the group in Yoongi’s classroom to discuss the plan of action for tonight. Yoongi wanted to supervise the plan just in case of any errors.

Namjoon also got a text. But from Rosé.

[12:44 pm] Thorn: You need to report to Lust Gardens

He held his groan of annoyance to himself as he typed back to her.

[12:44 pm] Isn’t that where you were assigned to? Why do I have to report there now?

Rosé read it and responded immediately.

[12:45 pm] Thorn: Boss’ orders. He’s suspicious of Yoongi’s guild making a move on a secret hideout that maybe Jeongyeon told him about before she was executed and he wanted me and a couple of other Tops to guard it

Did Seokjin really want Rosé to handle the situation or was she playing with his emotions? Did he not trust Namjoon enough to kill (Y/n) if she was there? He didn’t want to believe Rosé. But he might just have to.

And so as the bell rang for dismissal, Namjoon opted to leave Roseanne on read, not wanting to further anger himself. He wanted an explanation for this sudden decision. Straight from the boss. While everyone else left, he stayed afterward to talk to Seokjin.

“Something you want, Namjoon?” Seokjin asked without looking up from the papers he’s forced to grade yet again.

“Did you seriously assign me to do Rosé job tonight?”

Seokjin nodded slowly. “Problem?”

Namjoon scoffed at his superior. “Uh, hell yeah there’s a problem. Why did I, your top assassin, not get that mission instead of your third-ranked one?”

The boss chuckled and finally looked up to face Namjoon. “Because unlike my wonderful top assassin, my third-ranked assassin doesn’t know who (Y/n) is. Meaning, emotions won’t cloud her judgment if she were to be at the hideout later tonight. Rank has nothing to do with it, sweetheart.”

Namjoon was taken aback. His ears must be playing tricks with him. But why go through such lengths? No, Roseanne’s lies were true after all. Seokjin’s words were final. Namjoon would have to deal with it and report to the strip club this evening instead of guarding the secret hideout. With a heavy sigh and a “Yes sir” of compliance from Namjoon, he left to continue the rest of the day. He only hoped that (Y/n) didn’t show up. He doesn’t know what he’d do without her.

⭆

The day went on as normal. You and Jimin sat next to each other, listening to Mr. Min lecture the class about all the different phobias that exist. Jimin was surprisingly tamed today than he was two days ago. While his hand was still placed on your thigh, he never once made a move to do anything other than that. How cute. You could most definitely get used to this.

After class, Yoongi held the two of you over to wait for Taehyung and Lisa to arrive. Sure enough, they came. Taehyung set his Gucci shoulder bag beside Yoongi’s desk to take out a drawing and spread it out on the table.

While you and the boys were used to Taehyung using his artistic side to draw maps for missions, Lisa was stunned. “You drew this Taehyung?”

“I draw all the maps we use for missions sweetheart.” He gave a playful wink to Lisa and you could’ve sworn you heard her gasp. You rolled your eyes as Taehyung continued to talk. “Anyways, although this is based on what Jeongyeon said, I added a few more things that I thought she was missing like patrols and such. With that being said, I came up with a lot of different scenarios for tonight’s event.”

Yoongi raised an eye at that statement. “Oh? Mind sharing one?”

Taehyung grinned. “Not at all. This one is my personal favorite. It’s called: Let’s Get Everyone Killed. Got a nice ring to it doesn’t it boss? Basically, we walk up to the front of the gate, unarmed of course, and they just take us out. Boom.”

Jimin purposely bumped his elbow into Taehyung’s. “Come on, Tae. Be serious.”

“Oh wait. You were being serious?”

You took it upon yourself to pluck Taehyung’s forehead and he retracted while whining. You knew he hated that but you only did it when he was being a little too sarcastic. This was one of those times. “I don’t know about you Taehyung, but I actually wanna live through this. So unless you want me to do way worse than pluck you, get serious and give us an actual plan.”

Taehyung huffed. “Ugh, fine. The “Safest Way Possible” strategy is as follows: Two teams of two will come from each side, take out any guards posted in these areas. Don’t set off any alarms so watch your step for tripwires. If there is an entrance in the back, we take that one. Otherwise, we rendezvous at the back and take out any remaining assassins left at the front. I can make a lock pick if needed. If any of the assassins we kill have a key of any sort, take it. Once we’re inside, remain stealthy. We don’t know much about the inside. If there is anything of value such as weaponry, take that as well. We aren’t taking any hostages so kill without hesitation. There. Was that better?”

“Way better.” Yoongi clapped his hand on Taehyung’s shoulder in content with his new plan. He then turned his attention to the rest of you. “Well then. You all have your orders. I expect them to be carried out as discussed.”

You all nodded. You spoke for your team as you said, “We won’t let you down, sir.”

“Wasn’t counting on it.”

The team left the classroom, leaving Min Yoongi to his thoughts. He had to attend this stupid teacher’s meeting today and he wasn’t too particularly thrilled to have to see Seokjin’s face. What he would do just to not see that disgusted look on his face. He hated that Seokjin hated him. He wanted things to go back to how they were before. Before Yoongi killed Seokjin’s mother.

Yoongi was an orphan. Abandoned by his parents at the tender age of six. Alone, on the unforgiving streets of Seoul. That was until Kim Seokjin stumbled across him. Seokjin was walking down and noticed the little boy. He ran up to him and immediately the boy was startled. No one ever noticed him. Unless they accidentally stepped on him in which case they would blame it on the kid instead of themselves. Seokjin reached out his hand to the young boy and smiled. “You wanna come home with us?”

Wait. Was he being nice? To me? Yoongi didn’t respond at first nor did he take Seokjin’s hand. That was until Seokjin’s parents caught up to their son to see what he found. They looked at Yoongi, then at each other, then to their son. His father gave a half-smile as he said jokingly, “You want another brother huh?”

Seokjin inclined his head. He put his two small hands together in a prayer-like manner as he pleaded. “Please please please.”

The father bent down and offered his hand to Yoongi who was still in shock at the fact that strangers are giving him a chance to come home with them. He smiled at him. “Don’t worry. We promise that we’ll take care of you. Come home with us. We’ll be your new family.”

If only that promise were true.

From then on, Yoongi became part of the Kim name. However, he never changed his surname because both he and the Kim family agreed that “Kim Yoongi” just didn’t fit. But still, Yoongi was Seokjin’s little brother and best friend. And he loved every second of it. They would play video games together. He introduced Yoongi to the rest of the boys and they quickly became good friends. Then he found (Y/n). He kept his distance but loved her from afar. But as soon as he heard that Jimin had a larger-than-life crush on her, he ceased his own crush on (Y/n) to not compete. Nowadays, he treats her more like a little sister.

At least it started out that way. While Seokjin, his older brother, and his father might’ve seen Yoongi as family, Seokjin’s mother had other ideas. She thought of Yoongi as nothing but a play toy. Not once did she ever call Yoongi her son. Yoongi wasn’t her flesh and blood. Therefore he was hers for the taking. And take she did. She was Yoongi’s first time.

After six years of living with them, Seokjin’s mother once called Yoongi to her room. Seokjin’s father was working late that night and wasn’t coming home until three in the morning. Perfect.

Yoongi asked Seokjin’s mother, “You called me?”

“Yes dear. I most certainly did. You’ve been a bad boy you know.”

He cocked his head to the side in confusion, not knowing why he was in trouble. “Did I do something wrong?”

Seokjin’s mother beckoned him to come closer to her, which he did with no hesitation, not wanting to anger her further than she appeared. Once he was close enough, she slipped her hand into Yoongi’s basketball shorts that he wore to bed, teasing his member to life. “You act like you’re really part of this family. You should know your place little one. I’ll be happy to teach you.”

Yoongi bit his lip to suppress his moan. Why was his mother treating him like this? He didn’t know what was going on or why his member was getting harder and harder from her touching it. He wanted to tell her to stop, but his body didn’t allow him to. Nor did his conscious deem it a good idea. So he let her continue.

She tugged on his dick, pulling it out of his shorts. Only then did she halt her movements. “I didn’t hear you say ‘Yes ma’am’.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Smack!

A slap landed on Yoongi’s face which caused the sound to be heard outside the room. Thankfully, Seokjin and his brother were sleeping soundly on the other side of the mansion they lived in. They were known to be heavy sleepers.

“You’re my toy. Nothing more. You’re not my son. You’ll never be my son. Understand?”

Yoongi held his tears in as he nodded. But that only landed him another smack across the other side of his cheek. That was sure to leave a bruise in the morning. A sly smirk appeared on her face. Did she think this was funny? What kind of sick amusement is this? Was torture some kind of enjoyment to her? “I need to hear you say it.”

Once again, Yoongi replied, choking on his own tears with his head held down in shame. “Yes, ma’am.”

He could hear her chuckle as she gestured for Yoongi to join her on the same bed that she and her husband share. She told him to lay down and she rose to straddle him. Her weight was almost too much to handle, but he knew that if he complained that he would probably be met with a smack.

She teased herself on him. Yoongi’s eyes welled up with unshed tears as she finally sunk down onto his length, letting out a pleased sigh as she did so. He thought that he would be happier here. That they were his family. They promised him.

But all people do is lie.

Moving up and down his cock ever so slowly, he couldn’t bring himself to look at Seokjin’s mother. Not like this. She was actually enjoying this. Way more than she thought she would. While this was something that she could get used to every day, Yoongi wasn’t having it. No way. He would tell his father about—

“Don’t you dare tell my husband about this, Yoongi. Or so help me I’ll punish you even worse than this.”

Worse than this? Nothing could possibly top getting raped by who he once thought was his mother. That image was soon replaced with what he opened his eyes to. A woman who was fucking herself using her toy to get off.

She quickened her movements of bouncing on Yoongi, signaling that she was close. “O-oh my God Yoongi! I’m gonna c-cum! Fuck!”

He didn’t realize it himself but he too was on the verge of coming undone. But once he felt her lose herself, he followed suit. It was pure bliss. For Seokjin’s mother. It was pure hell for Yoongi.

She collapsed onto Yoongi, wiping the sweat from his forehead. “Good toy. Very good toy.” Yoongi laid there and fell asleep, too worn out to even move. Seokjin’s mother cleaned herself up and allowed for Yoongi to stay with her.

The next morning, when Yoongi left the bedroom, Seokjin caught him in the hallway. He chuckled at his younger brother. “Bad dream?”

Yoongi didn’t want to tell him why he was really there, so he went along with Seokjin’s conclusion. “Yeah…”

It was then that he noticed the bruises on Yoongi’s face. He touched them and Yoongi hissed slightly. “Where did these come from?”

“Umm…” Yoongi struggled to find an excuse believable for Seokjin to take. Thankfully, Seokjin came up with one.

“Were the boys and I playing a little too rough with you yesterday?”

Yoongi smiled slightly. “Yeah. Jimin just doesn’t know when to quit.”

Seokjin playfully rolled his eyes. “Next time just ask him. He meant no harm, trust me.”

“I know. I know…”

“Good.” Seokjin noticed that Yoongi was a little more quiet than usual. So he gave a warm-hearted smile. “Hey, is something up?”

Yoongi stuttered over his words. “W-what? No… Of course not. W-why would there be something wrong.”

The smile that was on Seokjin’s face went away and was replaced with a stern one. “You know Yoongi, you can tell me anything. I’m your brother. We’re family. All of us. Remember?”

Oh, he remembers. He also remembers Seokjin’s mother saying the exact opposite only a few hours ago. So it pained him to lie, but in his mind, he was doing Seokjin a favor in not ruining the image that he had on his own mother. “I do remember, hyung. I do. Believe me, there’s nothing wrong. I’d tell you otherwise.”

He pulled Yoongi into a tight hug. Yoongi rested his head on Seokjin’s shoulder. Yoongi never knew he needed this but he never wanted to let go. Unfortunately, Seokjin did and that meant Yoongi did as well. “Now let’s get ready for school. And this time we won’t play so rough today. Sound good?”

“That’s fine by me.”

Months passed since Yoongi’s virginity was forcefully taken away. But now Seokjin’s mother wanted more. When she called Yoongi to her room, he dreaded every step he took. He never wanted a repeat of what happened on that day. But luck was never kind to him in his early days.

This time, instead of riding herself on him, she opted to give him a blowjob. “For being a good toy and not telling my family what we did,” is what she told him.

If Yoongi didn’t have to speak, then that’s exactly what he did. He didn’t dare let a single sound leave his lips. No matter how tempting her mouth on his throbbing member felt. Because if he did, she would think he liked it. Meaning she would want to please him more and that was not on Yoongi’s agenda.

But he should’ve known Seokjin’s mother wouldn’t have let that slide. She wanted to know how good she was doing from her toy. She urged him to speak up. “Am I doing well for you my precious toy?”

He threw his head back, a moan threatening to leave his throat but he suppressed it and answered her. “Y-Yes ma’am.”

The woman licked a long stride on his underside and that tipped him over the edge. He groaned loudly and she was pleased with this. She smirked. “You liked that very much didn’t you?”

“Yes, ma’am.” There was no point in hiding it. If she wanted to make Yoongi speak then she was going to get him to speak.

Thanks to that little stunt she pulled, Yoongi couldn’t contain himself any longer. He mistakenly grabbed her hair to urge her further, to which she smacked painfully away and left another bruise on Yoongi’s fair skin. “I know you’re close but hands to yourself, toy.”

Once Yoongi did finish inside her mouth, she didn’t let a single drop go to waste. Yoongi, visibly disgusted by this wretched woman’s acts, got his basketball shorts on and ran back to his room. He bumped into Seokjin’s father on the way there.

Seokjin’s father grinned at his son but noticed how scared he looked and knelt down to face him eye-to-eye. “What’s wrong son?”

Sadly, Seokjin’s father was nothing like Seokjin. He doesn’t make his own conclusion for Yoongi to agree with. Yoongi was backed into a corner. His father scanned him up and down. Although he didn’t speak, he noticed Yoongi’s face had small bruises. Seokjin told him when he asked that he and the boys were playing too harsh. But then he looked at Yoongi’s hand. The one that Seokjin’s mother slapped not too long ago. It was red.

“Who did this to you?”

Still, Yoongi was left speechless. He couldn’t think of anything. It was one thing to lie to Seokjin. But to his father too? That was too much for Yoongi to handle.

Looking back in the direction of the mansion, the only noted room that he could’ve come out of was he bedroom. But why would he be in there? Yoongi usually never left his room. Too busy working on beats and writing lyrics to come out of there only when it’s time to eat. His room had a bathroom in it already so he didn’t come out for that reason.

“Did Mom do this to you?”

Yoongi nodded slowly, too afraid to lift his head up. He knew he would be punished for telling his father about what Yoongi and she did together. But he just couldn’t take it anymore. Maybe he could be saved from this hell. How he hoped so.

Seokjin father brought him in for a hug. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. You go to your room and get your rest alright?”

Yoongi walked down to his room while Seokjin’s father was riled up beyond limits. He opened the door to see his wife reading a book, awaiting his return. She didn’t look up as she said, “Good evening my love. How was—.”

“You think that it’s okay to put your hands on our child like that?”

She put her book down, looking startled at her husband. “Whatever do you mean?”

He squinted his eyes at her. He hated when she acted like she did nothing wrong. Usually, he would dismiss the situation. But this was going too far. “You smacked Yoongi’s hand. I saw the handprint. Why did you do it?”

She couldn’t dare tell him the real reason why so she opted for another decent reason instead. “He didn’t clean the dishes as I asked him to.”

“Are you fucking serious right now?” He raised his voice at her, which caused her to visibly shrink into herself. “We have maids to do that shit. Not our own son.”

“I don’t like how they do it so.”

“So complain to them. But don’t take it out on Yoongi.”

She knew she wasn’t getting out of this one. She would have to punish Yoongi later down the line for the amount of shit she got herself into. She got up from her position on their shared bed and raised her hands up in defeat. “You know what? I’m not going to argue with you. Not this late at night when the kids are trying to sleep. I’m going to sleep in one of the guest rooms tonight. Good night.”

And with that, she left the room. But not to go sleep in the guest room down the hall. Oh no. She needed to punish Yoongi for what she made her do. She was going to leave more bruises. But this time, on places not visible to the naked eyes. On his stomach. His back. His upper thighs. She was going to make sure she was never humiliated like that to her husband again.

She opened Yoongi’s door to find him still up. Closing the door, she made her way over to the boy. She whispered to him, “You just got me kicked out of my own room. So you know what I’m going to do. I’m going to punish you, toy. However long. However painful. Until you learn your lesson. And you are not to say a word to any soul. Have I made myself clear?”

Yoongi winced at the pain that was soon to come as he whispered back those two words of understanding. “Yes, ma’am.”

For months, Yoongi was abused like this. For months, Yoongi felt sore. Yet every time Seokjin asked about it, he would blame it on the sports or other activities they did the day before. But when his dad caught him, he would argue further with his wife, only getting angrier and harsher with her wounds.

Six years. For six years of his life, he was beaten and bruised and raped. It wasn’t until he moved out in which he finally got the relief he so desperately needed. Seokjin and Yoongi both got accepted to the same college they now teach at. They both decided to get their own place near the campus and visit their parents during the holidays. At least Seokjin’s mother couldn’t hurt him anymore for days on end.

But while the two brothers were getting along, Seokjin’s parents weren’t. When the pair were sophomores in college, Seokjin’s father found someone else. Someone better. Someone prettier. Someone wealthier than his current wife. And he intended to marry her and take his three children with him. Unfortunately, Seokjin’s mother was having none of that. While she allowed for Seokjin’s older brother to be sent away, she refused to give up Seokjin or Yoongi. So on that same day that Jimin lost his parents when Seokjin and Yoongi went back home to their shared mansion afterward to get a text message from their mother, they were devastated as they too lost their parents. Seokjin felt it the most. Whenever he went to class there was this looming cloud of sadness. Yoongi never saw him like that before. Usually, Seokjin was the life of the party. Now it looked like he wasn’t even alive.

What Seokjin’s mother said to Seokjin and Yoongi was not was Seokjin’s father said to her. He tried to keep in contact with his sons. Time and time again he would attempt to call them, but Seokjin’s mother blocked his number on both of their phones, writing it off as a spam number. Seokjin felt betrayed. Why wouldn’t his own father try and keep in touch with him? He hated his father. The exact emotion that Seokjin’s mother wanted him to feel. But Yoongi was different. He knew better that there was an ulterior motif in Seokjin’s mother’s lies. And he intended to get to the bottom of it.

It was Winter Break for students. The brothers decided to pay their mother a visit. Yoongi and Seokjin were supposed to drive to their old mansion together, but Seokjin had a few errands to run, so he was going to be running a little later and suggested for Yoongi to go there without him. Yoongi didn’t want to be with his mother alone. Even after all these, he knew that she could hold a grudge. But he didn’t argue with Seokjin. He hopped in his red LaFerrari Spider and drove his way down that road he was always anxious about returning to. Once he got there, he made his entrance known and Seokjin’s mother greeted him at the door.

“Hello, Yoongi. Where’s my son?”

He wanted to push her buttons and say he’s standing right in front of her. But he bit his tongue on that one. Instead, going for the more civil response. “He’ll be here in a few. He’s finishing up a project or something for school.”

“Hmm…” Her eyes trailed down to his crotch, then back up to meet his. “So we could have some fun while he’s gone.”

“I’d rather not.”

Seokjin’s mother wasn’t used to getting rejected by her toy. He must’ve grown some huge balls to deny himself to her. Regardless, she respected his decision. For now. “Fine. Go take a seat in the living room. Dinner is almost ready.” That left a smirk on Yoongi’s face. His confidence levels were through the roof. And it’s all thanks to the Black Carnations.

While in college, Yoongi found a way to relieve his anger for his mother for doing such unspeakable acts to him as a child. The Black Carnations. He told Seokjin this and he was all for it, asking to even join their ranks. Yoongi didn’t think that Seokjin could hold his own and so Seokjin agreed with him that he shouldn’t join. Being part of the Black Carnations back then wasn’t a big deal as it was nowadays. The White Muscari, a guild he only knew because he remembered Jeongguk and Hoseok being dragged into their mess at such an early age, was the number one guild. But rank didn’t mean much to him. He was a cold and ruthless assassin. He didn’t discriminate when it came to kills. That shaped him to be the youngest leader of a guild in the history of assassination clans. But that wasn’t enough for him. Try though he might, they weren’t the real thing. He wanted her dead.

She finally gave Yoongi some breathing room, strutting her way back to the kitchen to finish the meal. But Yoongi didn’t listen to her. He followed her into the large kitchen to ask her some questions that Seokjin wouldn’t dare ask because he’s too gullible. Leaning on the island counter, he asked her, “So what really happened between Dad and you? Was it my fault you two broke up? Did he finally realize what a cunt you were?”

He had no remorse on the words that left his mouth. She never treated him like a human so why should he? Because he’s a better person? They were way past that line to turn back now.

The woman did not answer his questions, but Yoongi could tell that he was getting under her skin and so he prompted further. “You know damn well he’s been making an effort every day since he left your worthless ass to call me and my brother. But you can’t handle the fact that if Seokjin knew what kind of sick monster you were and how you treated me. Like I wasn’t even worth the dirt you walked on. Like I was your play toy. He’d leave your ass in a heartbeat. Just. Like. Dad.”

Each sentence felt like knives were being etched into her back. She couldn’t take it anymore and threw a knife at Yoongi out of rage, grazing his shoulder as a result. That was all he needed to make this look like it was self-defense if things got hairy. Grabbing another knife and pointing it at Yoongi she exclaimed. “Since when do you talk to me like that you wretched child?! I gave you a home to stay in! I gave you food on your plate and I gave my son away to you!”

“Wrong.” He moved the knife from his face using his index finger to give his mother a deadly glance. “My father took me in. Your husband gave me food and two brothers that love me and mean the world to give. What you gave me were hatred and pain. And I’m thankful for that. So very thankful. Because it makes this next part so very worth it.”

In one swift motion, he grabbed the woman’s forearm and slit her throat using her own weapon of choice. Her blood spewed onto Yoongi’s clothing. He cursed himself for not realizing that he would get bloody from that type of execution. No matter. He had some spare clothes here. Granted, they were outdated and probably just a bit too small for him, he hasn’t grown tremendously so he could make it work. But how was going to explain the body?

Well, there was no need for that. Seokjin had seen it all. Before Yoongi could think of a plan, Seokjin walked into the house, announcing his presence ever so loudly, thinking that his brother and mother would greet him welcomingly. When he heard nothing, Seokjin continued from the living room to the kitchen. Where he found Yoongi and his beloved mother with a knife lodged in her trachea.

Seokjin saw red. “You—.”

Yoongi quickly let go of the mother’s hand, which caused her to fall to the floor lifelessly. He put his hands up in surrender. “Seokjin this isn’t what it looks like.”

“Oh really?” Seokjin walked further and further towards Yoongi, to which Yoongi kept backing up only to be stuck on the island counter. Seokjin grabbed Yoongi’s bloodied up shirt. “Because it looks like you killed my fucking mother.”

“Hyung, please. Hear me out—.”

Seokjin tightened his grip, making Yoongi keep whatever breath he had left to speak to himself. “You’re lucky I don’t turn you into fucking police for this shit. But I’m a good guy. And I’m feeling pretty generous for the holiday season.”

He let go of his grip, but Yoongi was too shook to move anywhere. Seokjin glanced to meet his mother’s eyes, then looked back at Yoongi with a cold expression. His voice was dark. “Get out of here, Yoongi. Get the hell out of here and don’t dare even think about coming back. I don’t ever wanna see you again.”

Yoongi stood there for a moment, looking into his brother’s eyes to see if the real Seokjin was in there, but he couldn’t, and so he did what he said, too afraid to explain the meaning of the situation. This Seokjin was nothing like the one that helped him on the street that day. But this Seokjin became the new Kim Seokjin. The one who went to the Red Roses the next day because Yoongi told him that they were one of their biggest rivals. And all Seokjin wanted was to run Min Yoongi to the fucking ground. That same Kim Seokjin became the new leader in record time, being the second youngest leader in all assassination clan history.

That same Kim Seokjin was sitting on the opposite side of the meeting table during the teacher’s assembly who didn’t dare pass a glance to his side. But he knew he wasn’t listening to Principal Hwasa talk either. While he may look attentive, he knew Seokjin. He knew that he was thinking about other things.

Despite not ever seeing each other again, Seokjin didn’t mind that when he found a job as a teacher at the exact same college he and Yoongi went to. Seokjin could care less about how he’s getting his money. Although he knew the other alternative of where he got his pay. The Nightcrawlers. It was owned by the former leader of the Black Carnations and Yoongi invited Seokjin there all the time for drinks and parties. When the leader gave Yoongi his title, he also gave him ownership of the business. Then Seokjin and he could get drinks on the house. Those were the good times.

But the excuse of caring less was getting old to Seokjin. The real Seokjin knew why he didn’t mind Yoongi getting a job here. In fact, he was pretty glad to have a familiar face around. Nevertheless, the new Seokjin wasn’t letting the real one take charge anytime soon. The old one was weak and too caring. This one he favored because he could be cold and demeaning and nobody would bat an eye. Besides, this one actually had power. Kim Seokjin was never one to walk away from power.

The meeting finished as quickly as it started with no teacher having any issues to report. Or it could’ve been that if they did, the meeting would’ve been stretched out even further and everyone just wanted to go home. Yoongi wanted some coffee from the break room before he left. Seokjin had the same idea in mind.

When Seokjin saw Yoongi drinking his coffee, he scoffed. “You’re the last person I wanted to see. Especially after that damn meeting.”

“Pretty sure you don’t look at me. Especially during that ‘damn meeting’.”

Seokjin poured himself some tea and waited by the counter next to Yoongi for it to finish brewing. “How would you know?”

Yoongi gulped down his coffee, unmoved by Seokjin’s questioning. “Because ever since that day, you’ve changed. Enough to not even pass a glance in my general direction.”

“Well killing someone you loved can do that to a person.”

“Right.” Yoongi now looked at Seokjin with a deadpanned expression. “I thought you loved me, Jin. Didn’t I matter to you at all?”

“You did, Yoongi,” The real Seokjin was taking over. The new one couldn’t get ahold of answering him this time. “You really did—.”

Yoongi cut him off before he even had the chance to finish, his blood boiling. “Obviously not enough for me to even explain myself. You casted me out. I thought you were different. But you’re just like everyone else in this damn world. All you do is lie. We’re family. Remember? Family doesn’t leave one another.”

But before the real Seokjin could response, the new one took control once again. “Oh yeah? That’s really rich coming from you. I thought family doesn’t kill each other either. Yet here. We fucking. Are.”

“If you would just hear me out—.”

“No, I’ve heard all the bullshit I needed to today. From our boss. From my own damn assistant. So I am most certainly not hearing yours as well today. Not today. Not any fucking day.”

Just then Seokjin’s tea was finished brewing. He added some honey to it and was on his way to finishing his tea in his car, leaving Yoongi to himself. Yoongi then realized that his Seokjin was still in there. He still had hope. Because only the real Kim Seokjin would admit that he did care for his younger brother. If only Yoongi didn’t let his emotions get the better of him.

⭆

The night air was cold. You wished you would have brought a jacket. But Jimin warms you up by back hugging you as Taehyung went over the plan once more for clarification.

“On our way here I saw about four guards on each side,” Taehyung whispered. “I think we could either all take out one guard or we stick with the original two teams of two plan.”

“Whichever one is safer, Taehyung.” You whispered back. You hated when he changed the plan. He always wanted to take unnecessary risks even when there was a safer option.

He sighed quietly. “Fine. Two teams of two and we meet back here. Lisa, you’re with me love. Try not to get blood on that beautiful body of yours.”

Lisa blushed and followed Taehyung to the other side of the building. Jimin kept his laughter in. “He’s such a flirt.”

Rolling your eyes, you answered back quietly, “Tell me about it. You ready babe?”

He nodded and you both went to work. Emerging from your hiding spots, you made quick work of the guards, executing them before they even knew what hit them. The two of you really did make an excellent team. Jimin and you searched the assassins for any type of key but to no avail.

“Hopefully Taehyung and Lisa will have more luck doing this than we did,” Jimin said.

Getting up from searching the dead bodies you sighed. “Hopefully.”

You two met up with Lisa and Taehyung at the back of the building. Lisa found some type of key fortunately and so now you all had to move to the front. You all moved in a straight line to the front with Jimin in the front and you in the rear in case someone snuck up behind you. Jimin halted everyone from advancing further. He mouthed that there was only one person guarding it and he would take them out. You all agreed with that and allowed for Jimin to kill the assassin. Once the coast was clear, he whistled for you all to join him at the front.

Lisa pulled out the key from her pocket while Taehyung found another key in the guard Jimin killed and kept it to himself. Thankfully, the one Lisa had worked and she opened the door and walked inside carelessly without checking the floor to see if there were any traps like Taehyung warned.

As soon as she walked inside, she set off a pressure plate that caused a series of loud alarms to sound off. Angry, you grabbed Lisa from out of the place and yelled, “What the hell were you thinking! Did you not hear Taehyung when he said to be careful or were you too busy thinking about his dick?”

But before Lisa could answer her question, she was dragged back inside by two assassins in the blink of an eye and closed the door before you even had a chance to get her back while another appeared right behind the three of you with another two in view. You turned around slowly, fearing for your life.

“Well well well,” Roseanne started, crossing her arms and a devious smirk on her face. “What do we have here?”

Jimin secretly went for his knife behind him, but Taehyung saw him from the corner of his eye and shook his head. Taehyung wanted to use his words first before blood needed to be shed.

Clearing his throat and bowing his head, he started. “Well, you see—.”

“Save it,” Rosé cut him off. “You’re lucky I have orders not to kill any of you. But that doesn’t mean I can’t hold you hostage.” She looked to the other assassins who came with her and addressed them. “Yeri. Seulgi. Blindfold the boys and take them inside. If they try anything funny then you can injure them. Don’t kill them. Leave the girl. I’ll deal with her.”

You were confused. Why would she leave you alone? You killed about the same about of Red Roses assassins as Jimin has and certainly more than Taehyung yet they were the ones that were being taken. You wanted to fight back for them but your gut told you not to. Even Jimin knew not to put up a fight as he retracted his hand from his backside and held both hands up in surrender as he and Taehyung were taken inside.

Now you and Roseanne were all alone.

Rosé walked closer to you but you stood your ground. “So you were Namjoon’s high school crush. What low standards.”

You raised an eyebrow at her. “And what do his low standards have to do with me being spared?”

“Because God only knows what he would do if he knew anything bad happened to the lovely (Y/n).” Uncrossing her arms, she finally stopped walking towards you, only inches away from you. “And frankly, I can’t wait to see what he’s capable of.”

Before you could ask what she meant by that, you were knocked out cold.

[yeetyeet2121yeet]

All of emmmmmmmmmmm!

Oh god Anon

1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?My closet doesnt have doors. I am not afraid of things lurking there, as my room is made to be a positive place. The window however is kept locked and curtained at night though

(2) Do You Have Freckles?yep

(3) Can You Whistle?sort of

(4) Last Song You Listened To.Where’s My Love? - SYML

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?Purple/Gold/Black/Silver

(6) Relationship Status.Single as fuck, but with a few crushes

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?Outside its 14* C

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?Nope, I woke up to one of Dan Howell’s livestreams that he posted on youtube

(9) How Many Followers?81

(10) Zodiac Sign.I am a Libra

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?kinda grey/blue

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?nope

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?No, but I have my phone on the toilet and listen to music

(14) What Books Are You Reading?Many. Many. Stephen King novels

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.‘God bless Bobbi, who had somehow managed to keep her shit together while everyone else was losing theirs, Bobbi was up there in Haven, thinking the way people were supposed to think- no she’s not’The Tommyknockers • Stephen King

(16) Favourite Anime?Black Butler

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?Roan

(18) Do You Collect Anything?Yep, I collect CDs

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?Nothing. I woke up at 1:08

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?No.

(21) Favourite Animal?Cats or tropical fish

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?Yes, some sports

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?Anywhere from 7pm to 5am

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?Nope

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?Neither. Creeks/lakes/ponds/dugouts

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?My own, because it represents who I really am. No filters, nothing. You will find nothing on here that isnt 100% me.

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?Bottled, as ours is rusty as fuck, and has actually fucked with the color of my hair

(28) What Makes You Happy?My friends

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.Can’t because fuck you Tumblr mobile

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?Study?? who is she?

(31) Dogs Or Cats?Cattos

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?Gay

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.Xbox all the way

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?LAKE

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?Yes

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?Bright freaking red with black decorations

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue?yeppo

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?It depends on what I’m saving for

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?yeah, my water bottle

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?Finding out who I am

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?Yeah of course

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?No, I don’t think so. People have shaped me into who I am, but when I make up my mind on something, it is very difficult for me to change my opinion

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?YES.

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes?I have never flown

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.Love, Simon

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?Cashews

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?Any of my favourite bands

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?No

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?Yes

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?No, I like it

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?Yes I do like both

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?Ya

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?Carve pumpkins!!

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?To The End - My Chemical Romance

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)Its summer right now, and its hot

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now?Acceptance and Happiness

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.Can’t bc tumblr mobile

(58) What Is Your Gender?UhM? Idk?? I think I’m either nonbinary or genderfluid

(59) Coffee Or Tea?Fuck both, I want my goddamn juice

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?No, its July

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?Pansexual, but I get attracted to girls/etc over boys

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?I flip the covers back into place, but other than that no

(63) Favourite Pokemon?Eevee and it’s evolutions

(64) Favourite Social Media?Tumblr/Instagram

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?I like em, but I don’t use them much because I have followers from home, soooo

(66) Do You Get Homesick?I do not consider where I live 'home’. I feel that my summer theatre camp is my home, and fuck yes, I miss it

(67) Are You A Virgin?Yea

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?Well, I have herbal essences ladies conditioner but I stole my guy friend’s dove shampoo at camp

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?Depends where I am, what the room is like, how much money I have

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?Sadly, yes

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?I don’t know

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?No, fuck that

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?• If they stand behind you, give them protection If they stand beside you, give them respect If they stand in front of you, watch their back If they stand against you, show them no mercy

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?I dont really notice those things, I find whoever I like sexy

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?FUCK YEAH I’m 14 now and I still love it. And yeah ofc I do

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?Corndogs

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?None lol

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?No. I dont know how, and I don’t want to fuck something up and fuck them up worse

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?Yeah

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?No

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?Yes

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.Yeah I do, but TUMBLR MOBILE

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?CLOSED. I get anxious about it open, because I’m alone in the basement, and the black hell hole while I’m most vulnerable scares me. If I had someone with me I think I would be okay though

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?Woke up, cut my hair, took a shower

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?Either nothing, or a tshirt and underwear

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.2 things of eyeliner1 thing of mascara1 eyeshadow palette

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?Night

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.Nothing on my phone, and I only play 2 games on the wii. Minecraft with my little sister and The Legend of Zelda : Breath of the Wild

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.I dont even remember anything of any dream

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?Canada Dry Ginger Ale, Sprite, A&W Root Beer, Cherry Coke

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?My music, my friends’ voices, when youre sitting with someone youre close with, and you’re together, and you can hear their breaths, my cat’s meows, the sound of water

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?Jeans

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?comfortable

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.Roan’s voice, or Dan Howell’s voice

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?I want a few little hearts all over me. One on the back of my left hip, one above my right elbow pit, one on my right shoulder blade, one below my lefr collar bone, and one on my right ankle

(96) Favourite YouTubers?Daniel Howell, Shane, CapnDesDes, AmazingPhil, Garrett Watts, Hailey Reese and Brandon Rogers