#even if I don't understand half of it
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Sound waves and spark oscillations:
Premise: Jazz has a different playlist for different things- and this includes missions, and off time.
Thesis: Jazz's choice of music in each playlist affects his performance in the positive.
Hypothesis: Sound waves actually affect spark oscillations thanks to Brillouin scattering.
Evidence: In electromagnetism, Brillouin scattering (also known as Brillouin light scattering or BLS), named after Léon Brillouin, refers to the interaction of light with the material waves in a medium (e.g. electrostriction and magnetostriction). It is mediated by the refractive index dependence on the material properties of the medium; as described in optics, the index of refraction of a transparent material changes under deformation (compression-distension or shear-skewing).
Broken down: Sound waves interact with light by changing its momentum into preferential directions. This means, for example, the higher the BPM of a particular track, the faster it spins the spark- creating extra energy without the frame having to utilize its own fuel source. It's only by a fraction of a percentage: .25% or so- but enough that Jazz can use it for surprise maneuvers.
Or even that extra burst of speed.
Conversely, a slower BPM or RPM on music can slow down a spark's oscillating spin- making the mechanism sleepier or destressing them to the point their processor can shut down- ESPECIALLY if they have extrasensory equipment like doors, audio horns, or sensor panels.
This is also evidence of why mechanisms like Blaster, Jazz, and Soundwave are so deadly: music can save or end a life.
#headcanons#look#acoustic science is absolutely fascinating#even if I don't understand half of it#I can appreciate what it can DO
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"Louis and Armand were still in love in Dubai!!" "Louis and Armand never loved each other!!" - no. it's worse. they were on the precipice of something good, but Armand couldn't recognize that, so he ruined everything they had, right when Louis had actually come to love him. the love was there for a fleeting moment and it was ruined irreversibly, never to return, even after decades they'd spent together out of desperation and spite. it's worse and that's the point
#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#louis de pointe du lac#the vampire armand#like. i don't understand how anyone would buy into one story or the other#when it's so very clear what the truth actually is#armand could've had everything he'd ever wanted#and he destroyed it all himself because he is a coward. everything he does is out of cowardice or desperation or impulse#he doesn't really scheme. he just reacts. and half the time it's with lies and manipulations#because he's Scared. he's still so deeply hurt. he's so lonely. and he could not bring himself to trust Louis#even though he couldn't resist developing that relationship either#your honour he is traumatized and stupid#i love him#i think there's also a primary audience reason why some people are so averse to the truth of their relationship#it's bc a lot of people don't like/can't handle the idea of love being both real and temporary#as well as something that can be destroyed so completely
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As someone who is genderfae (microlabel under genderfluid), I have a lot of different experiences with gender.
I just wish someone told me sooner that it won't go like "today I'm a girl" "today I'm an enby" but more like ,,, "today I am a swamp witch" "today I am a feminine victorian vampire boy" "today I am a forest goblin collecting people's stares about my gender expression like shiny rocks on the ground" "today I'm an androgynous pirate lady"
Like,,, sure, are those real genders? I don't fucking now. If a cisgender person asked me what I identify as that day, would I answer like that? No, definitely not.
But to my genderqueer, trans and genderfluid friends; do you get me? I can't be alone with this, right?
#genderfluid#genderfae#gender expression#genderqueer#transgender#nonbinary#queer#questioning my gender yet again#gender crisis#gender#my gender soup has so many flavours you don't understand#i needed to explain to my friend that when i say i want to dress like the cutest victorian inspired goth vampire prince#it's not actually a male gender#like.. you would really think it is#but that is a very nonbiney gender somehow#don't ask me how#or maybe it does count as male?#but the femininest androgynous male you can think of#like cute pretty let me giggle like a little girl kinda feminine#i don't even know if half of these things make sense#“why don't you just say girl or enby”#because moon witch dark cottagecore female isn't the same#as go out in the sun and enjoy the breeze i command a ship androgynous pirate lady female#anyways
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There's a post from someone outside of the US about how people in the US don't put their country down and just put down their state and something about US people being US centric, and part of it has always kind of bothered me because I think that people outside of the US don't really understand how states work for us or why people think their state should be enough. Some of it is being US centric for sure, but I honestly don't think that's the main reason.
It's because the US is a bunch of countries in a trench coat. I've compared it before to the EU, and I really do think that's accurate. It's literally a union of states. Each state has it's own government and laws and we have the federal government too but day to day a lot more of your life comes down to the state laws. Your driver's license, license plate, wage and a lot of employment protect (and enforcement), vast majority of court experiences, etc all go through the state. Moving to different states can mean being subject to wildly different laws, tax rates/methods, and forms of discrimination (ie florida trying to ban queer people while other states are explicitly adding protections for them).
Like, you'll notice that streamers often tend to be clustered in certain states in the US, and a lot of that has to do with certain states not having an income tax. Depending on what state they're registered in, companies can be subject to wildly different laws. Hence why Delaware is so popular for businesses. Bankruptcy law works differently in every state.
Lawyers are licensed to practice by state, and while they can move to different states, it's difficult and depending on their area of law they may be totally out of their field. Even small states like Delaware have totally different laws from a place 15 minutes to the left like New Jersey.
The largest single state by population is California which has nearly 40 million people. That is more than the entire population of Canada. It's roughly on par with Poland. Give or take a million people.
Ohio has about 11 million people, about 1 million more than Sweden. Florida has 22 million, over double Greece's population. New York and Romania both come out to about 19 million each.
Our smallest state by population, Wyoming, which has about 500k people, still has about 200k more people than Iceland.
Fucking Russia literally does not have half the population of the US. It sits at 144 million while we're at 333 million.
To give a sense of landmass/scale, France is the largest EU state by landmass with 630k square km. Texas alone is 695k. Alaska is 1.7 million square km. The US in total is 11.3 million square km. The entire EU has 4.2 million square km.
The US is 1) fucking huge and 2) so much less cohesive than a lot of non-Americans assume.
So why would someone from the US just put down their state? For the same reason that most people from the EU don't write down "Germany in the EU". Your state is where you're actually from, the USA is the weird umbrella you live under.
#sif speaks#us politics#america#Like I don't think people not from the US understand how fucking big it is#Canada does not compare even a little bit in anything other than land mass#mexico doesn't even reach half#it's also more cohesive now than it used to be#immigration used to be done state by state too#“why is the us so fucked up” have you ever tried to get 333 million people to agree on anything#“why is the us federal government such a mess” your country doesn't even have a third of our population and not even a tenth of our landmas
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idk someone about bones or whatever
#should've just yoinked someone else's design and reference them#i feel like im drawing bloodhound/velahound/octane/omen/kayo/shaxx/kaiser all at the same time#i basically just look at a body part and see what my brain has for it and slap it on#probably the worst you can go for character design#doesn't have a lot of bones because i can't come up with any original design and i don't wanna actually search for any reference for ideas#oh well. i literally came up with this only when i need to draw his lineart for yesterday's comic so not exactly surprising#i love capes and mysterious hooded pure black shadowed head so not even gonna design a helmet for him#also solves the bone plug issue because for the love of void i can't even understand half of what ordan is saying#that's the consequence of giving all your skill points on mathy stuff and none on literature#i mean i guess the bone plugs are somewhere at or above the neck??? so it's gonna be covered up anyways#im probably gonna go for roughly this design for ordan karris for now#i feel like i shouldn't even let him talk because any dialogues i come up with ruins his image#but idk. how many cool and stern characters' image have i ruined up until this point? yeah definitely not the first time#warframe#warframe ordan karris#my art
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Crush Gossip
*slides in with a grin* I am here and we are here for a special installment. @spotaus get in here friend!
Blue centered drabble :D
Just as promised :3
First Drabble Prev Drabble Next Drabble
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Blue moves the cleaned plates towards the cabinet before returning to the sink. He puts the whiskey glasses in and starts washing them carefully. He really enjoyed the night and their little gyftmas celebration.
Even if some aspects could have gone better. Or not happened at all.
Blue loves Dream. He really loves his best friend. But Dream needs to stop trying to help him by getting Ink to notice him.
It is fine.
A yawn and Blue doesn’t look away from the water “You are up early.”
His brother yawns as he joins his side “You are up early.” He sounds grumpy “You are already finished cleaning?”
Blue nods as he takes care to wash the smaller glasses “Of course. I know how to handle my liquor.” And he shoots Stretch a grin before frowning “Don’t you want to sleep in? Alphys will oversleep today so not notice you skipping work for a bit and Chara isn’t meant to arrive until a few days.”
Stretch huffs unhappily “Yeah yeah I know.” he yawns again as he leans against the counter as he ignores what Blue said to ask his own question “Dream and Ink out already?”
Blue shrugs “Yeah. Dream had to go again or Core would locate him again… and Ink… Well I am pretty sure Ink left midway through the party.” Blue saw how ink had checked his phone before quickly tugging his phone away and packing his things and leaving.
It stung a little.
Stretch nods as he takes the towel before waiting for Blue to finish the first glass so he can dry “It was nice to have them over.”
Blue laughs and nods “It was great!” he smiles.
Stretch chuckles before toying with the first glass “sorry it didn’t… work with Ink.”
Blue pauses before shrugging “It is fine. It isn’t like it is a surprise.” Blue had already known there was no interest anyway.
Stretch frowns at him “Blue… I know you… I know you were excited to have Ink over. You are allowed to feel disappointed.”
Blue sighs as he gives the next glass over “It isn’t a big deal” he rushes to wash the other glasses.
Stretch frowns at him “I disagree… Blue you-”
Blue pushes the last glass into his hands “There! All clean! If you can finish that up I will go to quickly fix our puzzles!”
Stretch doesn’t make a move to dry the glasses “You just said Alphys will sleep in anyway and not notice.”
Blue nods as he puffs his chest “Doesn’t mean I have to skip too! You enjoy your morning! Make sure to drink a lot of water and you know where the medicine is and-” and Blue gets stopped by magic by the front door.
Damnit he is blue now.
Stretch speaks calmly “Blue. I want to talk about this. Now.”
Blue sighs but doesn’t fight the magic and let it guide him to the couch. Stretch puts the glasse son the drying rack and joins him.
Stretch leans back against the couch “So… the mistletoe… Did Dream tell you he was planning that?”
Blue groans and shakes his skull “No… I didn’t even realise Dream added that with decorating… I found out when he pushed us under it and pointed it out.” he rubs his cheek “If I had known I would have removed it.”
Stretch nods as he leans back “Why? I thought you like Ink?”
Blue sighs as he waves his hands “I do! But it is more complicated than it just being a matter of me liking him!”
Stretch nods along and waits as he looks at him expectingly.
Blue stares at him before crossing his arms “Ink blocked my number… I don’t know why.”
Stretch looks shocked “But I thought you two were friends?”
Blue rolls up more “We are… I don’t understand why… I wasn’t even asking anything out of the ordinary or weird. Just asked him how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out with Dream and me… When I didn’t get a reply for a few hours I send him another message to ask if he was busy. Only to get an automated message back stating the number I was trying to reach had me blocked.” It was a thing they all agreed on with the multiverse phones. That if you blocked someone they should be able to know. Mostly because if it is an emergency so you don’t waste your time with messaging someone who won’t ever see your messages.
Stretch frowns “Yet… he came to the party?”
Blue shrugs “Just because Dream asked…” Dream had asked for Blue but Blue wouldn’t be surprised if Ink just wanted to come because of Dream. Blue can’t really blame him for that either. Dream is a god like Ink. And Blue is… well very mortal.
Stretch leans back “huh… strange.”
Blue sighs “Not that strange. Dream can be very convincing when he wants to be.” Which is putting it mildly.
Stretch laughs and nods “I noticed… No the strange thing is that if Ink really didn’t want to be near you he wouldn’t have gone to a private Gyftmas party in your universe.” Stretch raises a brow “Sure he has a bad memory but he should know that at least.”
Blue frowns and shrugs “I guess… I just think he wanted to be near Dream.” Which he honestly isn’t mad about. Disappointed maybe but not mad. It isn’t like it is Dream’s fault and Dream is really trying to get Ink and him to hang out. It isn’t Dream’s fault if Ink prefers to be near him over Blue.
Stretch hums “I guess.” He shoots him a curious look “Why do you even like him?”
Blue groans as he searches for the words “It is hard to explain? I don’t even know when I started to feel like this. At first I just admired him I guess? He was a protector. Of the multiverse at that. It was just… He was what I wanted to be. Someone who did good and protect people. And then I learned he didn’t just protect others but also made more worlds? He was just… He was just the coolest person and I admired him and then I got the chance to travel with him and Dream and I just… those feelings got so much more when I got to know him.”
Stretch snorts “How? He almost destroyed our world… Why like him still?”
Blue frowns as he rubs his arm “I guess… I guess it made him look like just any other person… someone who can make mistakes. He felt more real to me after that. It also helps he helped clean up that mess and made sure our world came back the way it was meant to be.” Blue sighs as he rubs his hands “Him and Dream… After you they were the only ones who believed I could do this thing. That I could protect people and everything.” Blue doesn’t know when exactly he started to feel what he feels for Ink.
Stretch hums before groaning “It is just… You are so out of his league!”
Blue blinks and stares at Stretch “What do you mean? He is a god! I am me.”
Stretch nods “Exactly! He needed all those godly powers and stuff to do what he does. You don’t. You are amazing all on your own Blue. You always believe the best in people and believe everyone deserves another chance. You are willing to look past mistakes, the situation with Ink even proves that. You are always willing to help others. You don’t believe in killing anyone but will protect those who need it. Blue you are an amazing person. And I just can’t see how you could like Ink and why you are afraid you aren’t good enough for him.”
Blue feels so embarrassed. It isn’t as if Stretch never compliments him. Hell he always says he is the most amazing every other day. But that felt more like… brothers just being supportive. This feels like more. Maybe just because it is about Ink?
Blue mutters “It doesn’t matter… He hasn’t wanted to hang out with me alone for ages now…” he sighs as he crosses his arms and lays them on his legs to try and relax.
Stretch frowns as he thinks “Maybe he… remembered what he did and feels guilty?”
Blue huffs as he looks to the side “He would have to choice to feel that. He needs his paints to feel… Look I knew from the start this crush was hopeless okay?” he hugs his legs closer “And it isn’t his fault he can’t feel like normal monsters can… or that he lacks a soul… I don’t blame him for any of that. That would be stupid. I know he has no interest in me like that…” it is why Blue feels so bad about Dream trying to help set them up.
Blue laughs as he rubs his socket as he feels the itch “If he likes anyone it would be Dream as Dream used to be able to make him feel things at least a little… Now however? I don’t know.” he lays his cheek on his leg.
Stretch frowns before nudging their shoulders together “Well… We can’t know either way. They are gods. Hell if we know what their reasoning is.” He smiles “Maybe he is just busy or distracted? And he accidentally blocked your number?”
Blue shrugs but lets himself lean against his taller younger brother “I guess.”
Stretch hums as he leans his skull on top of his “My point still stands. You are allowed to be disappointed.”
Blue shrinks in on himself “It is just stupid. I knew it was never going to work… Even if he felt anything for me it wouldn’t work as he is a god and I am not.” And he doesn’t want to be an outcode. He can’t give up his world and brother. He already almost lost both once before and he can’t deal with that. “It is just…” he feels sad “I just thought maybe he wanted to send some time with me… that we could just enjoy some time together as friends. But I guess even that isn’t that important to him anymore. Maybe it never was.”
Stretch leans heavily on top of him “You don’t know what he is thinking Blue. Maybe he really is just very busy with god stuff. Don’t you always say that you can’t assume what other people are thinking?”
Blue feels embarrassed but nods “I do… It is just… hard sometimes…” It just makes him feel worse for not being able to follow his own advice.
Stretch hums “Why not tell Dream? That you appreciate his help but know it isn’t going anywhere?”
Blue sighs and mutters “Because I did but Dream doesn’t believe in anything being impossible.” Stupid gods and their meddling.
Stretch laughs “I can imagine. Why not tell him it bothers bothers you?”
Blue shrugs and mutters “I don’t want to worry him. He is already dealing with a lot and well… It isn’t like a stupid hopeless crush is that bad of a situation…”
Stretch hums “I guess…” He thinks for a moment before grinning “Wanne see if we can meet up with the others? Just the six of us to explore some unsuspecting universe?”
Blue blinks and grins at Stretch “Seriously?”
Stretch grins and shrugs “Paps and I haven’t bothered Edge into relaxing for a while. It will be good for that stick in the mud.” He grins.
Blue blinks before nodding “Yes.”
Stretch grins as he pulls out his phone and starts texting “You get dressed. I will start up the machine.” And he blinks out of view.
Blue goes to his room and gets dressed. His hands pausing on which bandana to wear. His hand hovers over the grey one with beautiful blue details. He had gotten that in a present the year before and Blue never figured out who gave it to him. He had hoped that… well it doesn’t matter now. Blue quickly grabs his normal blue bandana and rushes down to meet up with his brother.
Stretch grins as he holds up his phone “I got confirmation from everyone that everyone is down. Sans is setting up the coordinates for us already and Edge is bringing snacks.”
Blue smiles as he wiggles in place. It will be nice to just enjoy some time with his dear friends. Just to take his mind of his hopeless love life.
Hell maybe he, Edge and Paps can go clubbing! That has been a while and will be nice to relax and let go a bit.
The machine starts up and a beautiful green portal opens. Stretch and him step through to enjoy a day out.
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#utmv#realageau#Swap Sans#Blue Sans#swap Papyrus#Stretch Papyrus#Blue has some issues with his crush#He knows it is silly to like someone who is soulless but sadly you can't pick who you like.#Blue honestly has accepted it but is just a bit sad about it.#He also gets why a god wouldn't be interested in him.#Dream does not agree. blue is the best and by the gods dream is going to make ink see this#Stretch meanwhile doesn't get WHY blue even likes ink :/ guy is a mess and a half and that is stretch saying it#So stretch decided to take Blue on a trip to their OG friends and the six of them are going to relax and have fun.#In my heart original Tale Fell and Swap will always be besties#No the groups don't understand why they like hanging out so much and why the friendship works.#Waht else... oh right!#Ink: ... what do i do?#Error: Why do you ask me?! he is your friend! Just message him!#ink: I cant :/#error sighs: why not?#ink: ... i blocked his number.#error: ... WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!#ink: I panicked!! How do i explain i suddenly feel stuff slightly now that i am like god ascended?!#Error: .... just tell him?!#ink: I can't! He already doesn't want to be Dream's acolyte. Dream's! You know. His bestie?! Why would he even hang with me after my messes#Error just so done with all the dramas he gets mixed up in. He wants to watch them. not be involved.
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simon benoit on mits off with luke gazdic jan. 31. 24
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#naqia's gifs!#“it's not everyday the fans love a stay at home dman”#benny i don't think you understand that (more than) half of leafs nation would lay their life down for you#the lb would probably be the first ones#also guys please please ignore the shitty quality idk why this is happening to me today#this is the first time i've giffed in actual YEARS and the quality turns out like this smh#just look in benny's eyes. lose yourselves in them and forget the atrocious quality#i just needed to gif this because i love him even more after watching it#the way he says 'penalty' changed me fundamentally. pen-aal-ty#i love one (1) frenchman/quebecois#simon benoit#toronto maple leafs#my gifs
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BABY KARASU BABY KARASU BABY KARASU BABY KARASU I MIGHT CRY
This hurt my heart
Sweets I love you so much
Also this panel gives me deja vu cause remember that one Kaiser panel?
Yeah.
#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HE'S LITERALLY SO BABY WHAT#OH MY GODS#oh my gods i didn't think i could fall in love with him even more but#oh my gods#oh my gods oh my gods oh my gods#I NEED TO HUG HIM#WDYM YOU'RE NOT INTERESTING??? MY LOVE YOU'RE LITERALLY MY FAVORITE CHARACTER#FUUUUUUCK#I SOUND SO DOWN BAD AND I AM BECAUSE. I WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM. THAT TYPE OF PERSON. I WOULD'VE BEEN FRIENDS WITH HIM AS A KID.#FANBOYING SO HARD I'M SO GAY FOR HIM#plus let's also talk about that one panel?? kaiser and karasu both got the half covered half not panel send help he looks hot in there tho#man i was actually going through a crisis today bc otoya thoughts plagued me and guess what? it's all gone#the power this man has over me#karasu tabito#blue lock manga#bllk episode nagi#i make an original post in a long time and it's about him send help#edit: the fact that i saw it coming. a scenario similar to this. aaaaa.
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I've figured out viewer's mixed emotions towards Maya. Maya receives either hate or love for her character, and the support gets argued with "bad character, mean," etc / dislike usually gets accused of "misogyny" "ableism" etc, but, personally, I feel the reason for the mixed emotions is because her character is quite hypocritical (in the drama).
She wants to be left alone, except for those *she* chooses (whose space and time she basically occupies without consideration)
She wants people to stop making assumptions about her, yet she pushes her own assumptions onto Kohei (and others)
She thinks everyone treats her fake, but she puts no effort into genuine communication
She feels morally superior, but she fails to actually take others into consideration
She has a victim complex, where she feels the world is against her (natural coping mechanism for someone who experienced trauma)
She hates sympathy, yet when she doesn't garner it, she seeks it out
A hypocritical personality is a normal development during youth (and especially in Maya's case), as it develops through fear and low self-esteem. It is the easiest way to subconsciously protect ourselves from harm. It is especially common to develop for those that desire love and fear judgement. So Maya's past is a perfect explanation of her seemingly difficult character.
It is completely normal for viewers to have mixed feelings about her, because it is the same with hypocritical people in real life too. We feel empathy for them, yet their actions/words are not always understandable. She is quite a realistic and intricate character. Which is why the viewer's reactions differ so drastically, some falling to her absolute defense, other's trying to communicate the dislike. It's totally normal.
She's not evil, but she isn't a saint either. She's just human.
And so are the viewers who are free to like or dislike her character...
#i hear the sunspot#hidamari ga kikoeru#maya#jdrama#haven't read the manga#I don't have anything against maya#but I do think her character has been the focus for the 2nd half of the show#I don't think it would be so noticeable if other characters got some attention too#Kohei and Taichi barely had any scenes together#their communication also did a 180#I don't think it's okay to attack haters or lovers#everyone can feel differently about people#it's okay if the characters are not for you#or if they are#sometimes characters are there for tension#and to raise awareness#not every character has to be likable or even understandable#let's also stop trying to find ppl's dislike of a character as a sociopolitical issue straight away#it's okay to like or dislike#sometimes it is just about personality
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love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world
#im talking about griffith btw#guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him#and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me#but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings#like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too#and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon#so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn#he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something?#and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv#and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not#ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities#more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well#also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read#there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom#i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read#also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all)#i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note#light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into#and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead#and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol#so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well#berserk spoilers#p
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Sorry but we were speaking about history in a part of one of my classes and when the Vatican came on. I had to draw the sad dog man.
Machete is now immortalized in my class notes. It’s in spanish by the way, which is kind of funnily appropriate considering latin is very close to spanish.
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#augh that's adorable!#“Vaticano” -> -> cue sad dog man#he doesn't seem very happy to be there#I've said this before and I don't really know why#but I keep finding the idea of people drawing little Machetes in post-it notes pieces of scrap paper and class notes#endlessly charming#it's so cute#it sparks joy#thank you!#Spanish and Italian are fairly closely related they're both descended from Latin and I think that's terribly nifty#I'd like to believe Machete speaks or understands Spanish at least passably#mostly due to continued exposure and for having a knack for languages#Spain was an influential superpower in the 16th century and also intensely Catholic so he ends up working with Spaniards on a regular basis#and he strikes me as a kind of person who would like to know what they're saying to each other even if he kept it to himself#not to mention that Spain has an extended history of ruling parts of Italy#the southern half of the country in particular#including the places where he grew up#gift art#nerium-aquifolium#own characters#Machete
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oh I know its bad if I'm pulling out the hbomberguy plagiarism video i've watched it like 100 times already
Pre-show curse strikes again...
#hbomberguy. save me hbomb. hbomb save me...#I need noise to focus on and music isn't doing it since half my playlist is in a language I don't understand#jupiter rambles#I'm gonna be okay now I just need to calm down and get the last of my hysteria out of my system#hbomberguy#emotional support fuwas also at the ready akito is not leaving my person for the next week#But I swear to god before every show I have some sort of event that annihilates me#freshman year it was my old dog running away#sophomore year dude I don't even remember what happened I just had a massively hard time before ALL OF MY SHOWS.#And now. shitshow.#Canada lookin real fine rn..#3 hours away...
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the stillborn, arwa salih
#the stillborn#rereading. english translation this time#i'm endlessly bitter this mirrors what i (as part of the “newer” generation) feel about jan25#it was aborted before i was old enough to realize or partake and what's left for myself and others my age is cruel despair#we never even got to feel the ambition#it hurts so bad that nothing has changed#it's been half a century and nothing has changed#like it is so ironic how much the 70's student movement mirrors the 2011 revolution#i don't understand how people can just look at it as a mistake how we can all despair like this#there's lessons to be learned from it. many. and we haven't even acknowledged a single one#25jan#egypt
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My fav
#n#n murder drones#art#ibis paint#ibis paint x#murder drones#i literally put pics of him in my wall#i love him#i also love murder drones#even tho i don't understand half of the story
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Loki telling the Avengers he's never had a family before them all and Thor is sitting in the back of the room spitting out his coffee sobbing crying he feels sick to his stomach
#Thor like THEN WHAT AM I????#Loki like YOU'RE LIVING HERE TOO WHAT"S THE PROBLEM????#Thor like you very much had a family you have a family what was Asgard to you the past millennia and a half#Loki like um a fake family i thought we went over that when it was clear they lied to me (and you) our entire lives ?#Thor should feel sick about it actually#I don't think Thor ever Got the fact that if Loki was being disowned/separating himself from the family that includes. their parents.#i don't think he comprehended that if Loki doesn't consider them his parents anymore he wouldn't consider them his parents anymore#i think Thor just assumes it's symbolic or something or that inevitably Loki will get over it and come back btw#i think that should happen if post-Avengers 1 Loki is banished to Earth#and I think Thor should actually be upset and feel sick aobut it#i think Thor didn't understand that being lied to hurt Loki even when he watched Loki let go on the bifrost
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Special angst. Featuring touch-starved Special, homemade quintessence fuckery and lore, basically Special can't touch anyone or they die, Omega and Delta try to help.
CW : Angst, like pretty heavy angst I think, Hurt/comfort, talk of death
Ghouls are social creatures. Not all to the same extend, not all in the same way, but the fact remains : ghouls thrive in eachother's company, in the knowledge that someone, somewhere, is waiting for them, ready to welcome them.
And, ghouls are physically affectionate, as a result of this need to be close and feel surrounded by loved ones. Of course, it's a generic rule, and it doesn't applie the same way to each individuals, but, most of the time, ghouls live off of casual touch, hand holding, hugs, cuddles, clasps on the shoulders, arms slung around waists, tails intertwining.
It's Satan's best joke, really, that Special can't even have that.
That he's so fucked up that not only no one bears to be in his presence, but he could also kill the poor ghoul who'd pity him enough to try and give him a hug.
Because Special's elements are all pulling him in different direction, trying to evade the too tight confine of his body, weak fire sorrowfuly begging to be smothered out, destructive quintessence furiously grasping at every bits of vital energy it can find, literaly sucking the life out of anyone stupid enough to have any kind of skin-to-skin contact with Special.
At least it's vaguely less awfull now that he managed to contain the devastating effect of his quintessence to his body - the screams of agony of the people who tried to approach him after his summoning, Omega's pained grunts as he backed away, the soft blanket he had held out for Special falling at his feet, the sheer terror on the ancient ghoul's face as he watched the humans unfortunate enough to be in Special's quintessence's range dropping like fly, oh, Special remembers it all so well.
Six Siblings died that way, simply because they were standing too close to him. Omega was, too, and is only alive because of his highly resistant nature, allowing him to stumble back in time.
It took weeks of sitting across from Omega, safe distance between them, training relentlessly to try and tame his quintessence, before Special could evolve around people without draining them. But it worked.
Provided he stays dressed head to toe, not a silver of skin showing, of course.
Special could, theoretically, be on the recieving end of ghoul's typical affection, the soft nudges, pats and caresses rythming their lives, long as no one makes contact with his skin, long as all those displays take place through a layer of clothing.
But then again, Special can't blame them for being wary, and prefering to stay away altogether. They're right, after all. You never know what might happen, if Special won't suddenly lose control and kill everyone in a three meters radius just by existing.
Special hasn't see anyone in days. Omega said he'd come by, but he hasn't yet. Special vaguely remembers something about Delta the...water ghoul, right ? Well, one of them anyway. There's a lot of those around, Special keeps forgetting who's who, doesn't see them enough to properly remember. He sticks to the dark corners, only goes out in the dead of the night, only watches the other ghouls from afar, except maybe for Omega.
But Omega's not here, hasn't been here for too long, busy taking care of Delta, whatever that means. Special wonders if he'll come back. Special wonders why he needs Omega to come to his room, why he can't bring himself to get up and go find the quint by himself. It's not like it's forbidden or anything. He just can't do it, the thought of opening his bedroom door in the middle of the day strictly unfathomable.
No, Special, at least during the day, needs someone to open it, someone to drag him outside if he really is needed, like for interviews, because apparently he's the only fucker who agreed to do them when neither Papa nor Omega are free.
A third choice, that would probably be even further down the list of candidates if it wasn't for his uncanny ability to entertain humans, with jokes and crudes, snarky remarks masking the cracks of his shattered soul.
So Special waits, sitting motionless in the middle of his bed. He hasn't seen anyone in days. He hasn't been touched since forever. No, that's not true. Omega cupped the back of his head the last time he was here, protected by the mask and balaclava Special always has to wears, and pressed a kiss to the metal covering his forehead.
It had nearly unraveld him.
Special doesn't know why Omega still bothers with him, what sick sense of responsability pushes the quint to visit Special as often as he can bear, why he insist on being so patient, so gentle, smiling with sadness in his eyes.
Special doesn't want pity. But he could never tell Omega not to come back.
His hair is getting too long. It's itchy in the back of his neck, keeps getting stuck in folds of fabric. Special shifts uncomfortably, thinking about stealing a pair of scissors and chopping it off himself. It's always a delicate task, cutting his hair : he's not good at it himself, but whenever Omega's doing it, he has to be extra cautious, avoiding any contact with Special's scalp, not even able to properly run his fingers through it. Special's hair is never perfect, always a bit messy, as a result, but now it's even worse.
He really needs Omega to come back.
It hits Special like a freight train.
He needs Omega to come back. He needs to hear his voice, to see the lines and creases on his face, the tired slope of his broad shoulders, the softness of his eyes. Special needs his tentative, fleeting touches, needs to talk to him, needs to be carefully held, even if it's all tainted with Omega's guilt, obligation and pity.
He needs to know Omega hasn't moved on, hasn't chalked him up as a lost cause, that Special hasn't lost the only comfort life ever granted him.
A knock startles him out of his thoughts, his whole being shaking with relief at the familiar pattern.
"Spesh ? Can I come in ?"
Special nearly sobs. His voice scratches in his throat.
"Yes."
Omega slips in the room. He's maskless, and Special drinks him in like a ghoul starved. He looks tired, like he hasn't slept in days, but. He's smiling. Omega is smiling, wide an bright, eyes gleaming. It makes Special's own lips pull in an unfamiliar direction, up up up, until concealed under the mask, his mouth weakly mimics Omega's.
"I have good news for you, Spesh. Really good news. Would you let me bring someone else in here ?"
Special visibly flinches, though still half frozen, cossed-legged on the bed. Omega's face softens in that way Special yearns for.
"It's okay, it'll be fine. I promise. Do you trust me ?"
Special doesn't need to think about the answer, nodding with more conviction than he ever displayed before. It gets a soft chuff out of Omega.
"Attaboy."
The quint moves with a grace Special envies, reaching for the door and opening it like it's the easiest thing in the world. Maybe, to him, it is.
The ghoul that steps in looks just as tired as Omega, if not more, but is also sporting a smile, hair an absolute mess, looking like it got chopped with absolutely no regard for the aesthetical result, as uneven as it is unruly.
"Spesh, this is Delta, remember ? Delta, this is Special."
Special blinks, unmoving as a statue, as he often is. Sometimes, he thinks that if he keeps perfectly still, the universe will forget that he is supposed to be, and simply let him stop existing.
Delta. Yes Special remembers. He doesn't smell like most water ghouls, though, it's quite disarming.
"Hello, Special," Delta breathes, barely above a whisper, "it's nice to officially meet you."
Unsure of what to do with that soft tone, with how genuine Delta apparently is, Special looks toward Omega, silently begging for guidance. The quint goes to sit next to him, one hand brushing his back ever so slightly. Special has to bite his tongue to contain a relieved whimper.
"He's here because we discovered something, and I have a theory," Omega explains.
Delta is standing straight, hands folded behind his back, withstanding Special's wary scrunity with an easy smile. Something about him is...off, Special notes. It's not necessarily bad, but it intrigues him.
Delta looks like a water ghoul. Blueish tint to his grey skin, gills, needle sharp fangs, webbed fingers, a few fish-like scales visible on his forearms. And yet...
Special doesn't realize he's leaning forward until Delta tilts his head in amusement. He leans back immediately, clasping his gloved hands tighter on his lap.
"I think," Omega goes on, "that he might be able to touch you without consequences."
It's instinctive, the way Special stiffens, shaking his head desperately at Omega, clearing his throat to find his voice again.
"No, no, no, Megs, it'll end up badly-"
"Listen- listen to me, Spesh, listen," Omega interrupts his panicked babbling, craddling his masked face between two big hands, "i'm not pulling this out of my ass, okay ? Delta here, well, we needed a new quintessence ghoul, at least for a little while, until we could summon a new one, and...Delta volunteer for an...elemental transition of some kind."
Special blinks, shaking in Omega's grip. Well, that explains the funny feeling, the strange scent.
"But...Delta's still water," Special rasps. Omega hums, nodding.
"Yes, but not exclusively. He's not...quintessence either. It's more like...he became a vessel quintessence can pass through. He can channel it from the outside, dig it from the source rather than something within him like us quintessence ghoul do, quite literaly pull it from thin air, let it flow through him, and release it."
Special frowns, trying to wrap his mind around all this.
"But...raw quintessence, the one that is everywhere, is impossible to access to unless you are a quint, because your quintessence connects you to it, opens you a door. Right ?"
It's more words than he's spoken in weeks outside of interviews, but excitement suddenly buzzes in his body, brain finally feeded something to think about, to analyse, to study. Special is a cerebral creature, no matter what people might thing, and such an incredible discovery makes him feel almost alive.
Omega laughs, a breathless, amazed little thing.
"I know. But, apparently, we managed to crack that door open for Delta. He doesn't have much control over the quintessence he releases, but it's enough for the Clergy, for now."
Special glances toward Delta from the corner of his eyes.
"That's...you wrote it down, right ? Records of this could be incredibly useful-"
The smile he gets makes Special's heart miss a beat. Omega looks so fond, so full of love, it's almost painful.
"I did. I'll hand you my notes. But, back to you. What your quintessence does, is devouring energy out of living things-"
Special hangs his head down, shame creeping up his spine, wrapping around his throat.
"Hey, none of that, Spesh," Omega soothes, pulling his head up by the metal point of the mask's chin, "let me finish. What if someone was full of an energy they can fully dispose of ? If someone could let your quintessence take without it harming them, that means they could touch you. Delta could touch you."
Special blinks.
"But...you can't touch me."
"Because your quintessence takes the one at my core - drains me dry of a source of power so entangled in my being that losing it would mean losing me. But Delta's quintessence doesn't come from him."
Slowly, Delta comes closer, kneeling by the bed, offering his bare hand to Special, smiling, and Special- can't understand why. Why anyone would willingly take such risks - first the attempted elemental transition, now this.
Omega brushes Special's shoulder.
"Please, try it. I know...how hard isolation is for you. Please, sparkle, try. If anything goes wrong i'll pull Delta away before any real damages can be done, I promise."
The coppery taste of blood hits Special's tongue, and it's the only reason he's aware he's biting his lip. Then Delta talks.
"I volunteered, Special. I know this is going to work. I trust Omega's theory, and. I think I can trust you, too."
This time Special does sob.
"If I hurt you..."
"You won't. Give me your hand, Special, it'll be okay."
And Special is terrified. Terrified that it won't work, that he'll hurt Delta, who seems the nicest ghoul you could ever wish for. Terrified that it'll work, that the one time he manages to touch someone without killing them will kill him, that all it would take would be a brush of skin against his own to destroy him.
Despite all that, Special slowly, oh so slowly takes one glove off, revealing too-pale skin and twitchy fingers. Delta' smile widens, then the air shifts a bit, starts blurring around him. One of his eyes turns purple, his skin shimering slightly.
"It's a bit like holding my breath," the water (?) ghoul explains, "i can't keep it for too long, maybe a couple of minutes, after, i have to release it. Open the valves, kind of. But, if I just keep them open, just let quintessence flow in and out freely, like this-"
Another shift in the air. The shimer on Delta's skin dims, his features relaxing.
"Then I can keep it that way as long as i like, effortlessly for the most part. That's how we can touch. I'm ready when you are."
He's going to do this. Special is going to do this. His hand is shaky when he wraps it loosely around Delta's - ready to pull away at any moment - but the second their skin makes contact, he gasps and can't help tightening it.
Delta doesn't flinch. His skin glints a bit more, but that's it. Special's quintessence is hungrily drinking in the one flowing though Delta, but he doesn't need it. He can let Special take it.
Salt. Salt on his tongue, now. Special is crying. Holding onto Delta's hand for dear life, shoulders shaking, Special is crying, the water ghoul shushing him softly, thumb drawing circles on the back of his hand.
Omega helps unclasping the mask, watching with tears of his own as Special takes it off, throws it somewhere, who cares, where the balaclava and second glove quickly follow.
Delta opens his arm, still not letting go. Special sobs so hard he's sure it's going to turn him inside out, slidding off the bed and into Delta's firm, tender embrace, burrying his face in the water ghoul's neck, finally able to touch, to feel, truly feel.
He can't see it, but Omega's crying in earnest now, Delta fighting tears as well.
Special isn't okay. Special might never be okay, Delta might be the only person he'll ever get to touch, it might stop working at some point, there might be a catch, but oh, Special doesn't care.
He'd trade his infernal eterinity for this moment in time, folded in arms that hold him like something precious.
#what special doesn't know is that the other ghouls constantly ask about him#even those who don't know him much#they think letting have some space is the best since he seems so keen on staying in his room#they don't know that his self-impose loneliness is killing him#and despite what special thinks#omega doesn't do any of this out of obligation#he cares#he cares so much#their relationship in this breaks me#i hope all the quintessence shit is at least half understandable#there's probably plot holes but oh well#delta is too good for this wolrd btw#i tried something different for his elemental transition#he's still water#but he can sort of#welcome quintessence i guess#anyway#hope that makes some sort of sense#special i'm so sorry for putting you through this#special ghoul#omega ghoul#delta ghoul#nameless ghouls#the band ghost
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