#even fucking mashed potatoes like bro.

[jinxpologist]

really need to start taking a multivitamin again i think that would do me a lot of good

[sadlazzle]

the answer to ‘what can i eat after a tooth extraction’ is, essentially, fuck all apparently

[lcandothisallday]

Wedding Season - Jack Harlow x f!reader

Summary: Jack is invited to an old friend’s wedding and he’s been convinced by his friends to bring the girl he hates as his plus one.

It was a rather chill summer day for Jack. He had gone to the studio earlier in the day which allowed him to have a relaxing rest of the night. So that’s where he was now, chilling in his living room of the apartment he shared with Urban while the both of them ate the takeout they ordered.

Earlier in the month, both boys were invited to an old high school friend’s wedding back in Louisville and neither one of them had the heart to say no despite their busy schedules. Now there was only a couple days until the wedding and Jack felt like an absolute loser for not having a date.

“You bringing anyone to Colton’s wedding?” Jack asked Urban before he scooped up a mouthful of mashed potato to eat.

Urban couldn't help but smile. “You know how I started talking to Nia again?” Jack nodded, showing that he was listening as he chewed. “Yeah...invited her as my plus one...gonna try to make things official with her after the wedding,” he explained.

Jack groaned, “fuck outta here, man. You letting me ride solo on this one?” he half joked in question. Urban only shrugged with a laugh. “Not my fault you ain't got anyone at the moment...or you know...you could always ask y/n to be your date,” he suggested cautiously. 

Upon hearing that, Jack scoffed. “Bro--y’all gotta stop bringing her up I swear,” he muttered. “We have never and will never get along,” he persisted arrogantly.

���She’s Nia’s best friend--”

“And what does that have to do with me?” Jack asked in annoyance. “You just want to get on Nia’s good side but I’m the one that’s gonna end up suffering.”

Urban furrowed his brows before he scoffed. “You’re so fucking dramatic bro. I don't even understand what happened for you to hate her so much,” he tsked. “It’s like you were in love with her one minute during high school--wanting to ask her out for junior prom-- and the next you hated her guts. But whatever man. If you wanna be the hottest rapper out there and still not be able to cop a date then that’s up to you,” he shrugged.

Jack rolled his eyes before he let out a defeated sigh. “I’ll think about it...but no fuckin’ promises,” he mumbled.

__

You stood in front of the mirror, staring and picking apart your appearance in the dress you had chosen for Colton and Grace’s wedding. It was an outdoor wedding and so you dressed in a simple silk-like dress that hugged your body perfectly and the colour complementing your beautiful and glowing skin. Despite knowing you looked good, you couldn’t help but be nervous.

“You need to stop picking apart your look,” Nia spoke up matter of factly, noticing your nerves, as she applied her gloss. She looked absolutely stunning as well, her dress choice also being the most perfect look for her. Urban was going to be hella impressed to say the least.

You let out a sigh. “I’m not I’m just--I don’t understand why Jack asked me to be his plus one,” you frowned. “I feel like it’s some cruel prank,” you mumbled, smoothing down your dress anxiously. 

“Well I mean people change,” Nia pointed out. “So give it a chance. Maybe this is him trying to make amends,” she offered, ever the optimist. “Now come on! We’re gonna be late!” she exclaimed, grabbing hold of your hand before the both of you stumbled out of the apartment with your heels clicking behind you.

As you arrived to the venue, you were in complete awe of the setup. It was beautiful--from the grand archway, down to the details in the flowers that stood as centrepieces on each table. 

You took in a breath as you scanned the venue, noting how you were met with familiar faces from your high school days. “This...is gonna be a long ass day. I can already tell,” you whined, your friend humming in agreement.

“There’s Urban,” Nia breathed out with love struck eyes, causing you to giggle. “Ooooh your man looks good,” you teased, causing her to blush madly. “Shut up,” she mumbled while still blushing. “He’s not officially my man...yet.”

When Urban finally set eyes on you and Nia, he started approaching with Jack dragging behind him reluctantly. Truth be told he was nervous. He hadn’t seen you in quite some time and the last time he spoke to you, it was full of hostility.

Urban immediately pulled Nia aside, whispering in her ear and complimenting her in all the ways he should, leaving you and Jack standing alone.

“Hey,” he mumbled in greeting. “You uh...you look nice...I guess.”

You smile awkwardly and begin to anxiously play around with the rings on your fingers. “Thanks. So do you.”

As the night progressed, the tension between Jack and you seemed to linger in the air. Despite the polite exchanges and forced smiles, there was an underlying current of animosity that couldn't be ignored. It was as if both of you were tiptoeing around a minefield, waiting for the first explosion to occur.

After dinner, the DJ started playing a slow, romantic song, and couples began to take the dance floor. Nia and Urban shared a loving glance before swaying together, lost in their own world. Feeling a mix of discomfort and curiosity, you and Jack found yourselves standing near each other.

Jack cleared his throat. “Do you want to dance?” he asked. You shook your head. “Not really,” you responded quietly, causing Jack to audibly scoff. “God you’re such a bitch,” he muttered, running his hands through his curls. “I don’t know why I’m even trying.”

Your eyes widened as you took full offence. “I’m the bitch?! Oh I’m sorry for not wanting to dance with the guy who’s always been an asshole to me! If I remember correctly--you’re the one who blocked me out of the blue!”

“Don’t act like you don’t know why y/n.”

You scoffed. “Actually why don’t you enlighten me because I don’t remember ever doing anything to you to make you hate me so much! I liked you and I thought the feelings were mutual—”

“They were until I overheard you telling your friends you thought I was ugly and that I was stupid for trying to pursue a rap career,” he mumbled.

Hearing that made your heart sink to your stomach. “Jack,” you sighed. “You weren’t supposed to hear that,” you say softly. “Because I didn’t actually mean any of that—”

“Then why did you say it?” he asked, his voice quiet and almost quivering. “I really fucking liked you and I know I always played it off like I’m a confident motherfucker but that crushed me.”

Your heart absolutely broke at hearing his confession. “Oh Jack—I only said that because Tina was a bitch and she noticed you and me getting closer and she started saying that someone as likeable and popular as you wouldn’t romantically go for someone like me. She also said that the two of you had started hooking up and it wasn’t long before you would’ve started dating so I had to back off and the only way to protect myself in front of her was to make it seem like I never cared about you from the start,” you explained softly.

“She’s a liar. I never fucked around with her like that—”

“Yeah well how was I supposed to know?! She was the blonde skinny popular white girl—and I was me—I guess it just made sense to me,” you sighed.

Jack groaned, “well that was up to me to decide don’t y’a think? God—I just wish you would’ve just told me or something.”

“Yeah well can’t change the past now,” you muttered sarcastically under your breath but loud enough for him to hear.

Jack licked his lips in thought before a small smirk started to make its way onto his lips. “You’re right…but we can definitely influence the future,” he hummed, taking your hand and pulling you onto the dance floor.

The slow romantic song was still playing so he took the opportunity to take both your hands and place them on his broad shoulders before his own rested against your hips, leading the dance with gentle sways.

Your cheeks were on fire at the entire interaction, but you welcomed it easily, thankful that he was the one that was able to take charge.

The both of you swayed in silence, you choosing to look anywhere but his eyes while he stared intently at you, loving the chance to admire you up close.

“Jack…I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you,” you whispered, the guilt eating you alive.

“I don’t think I stressed enough earlier how beautiful you look,” he mused, looking down at you with his charming smile.

You can’t help your own smile making its way onto your lips. “Jack.”

“Y/N,” he mocked back teasingly.

“I was being serious!” you laughed.

Jack rolled his eyes playfully. “Isn’t it obvious that I forgive you already?” he asked with a raised brow, his hands giving your hips a squeeze.

You shrugged. “Just want the confirmation.”

“If you let me kiss you would that be enough confirmation?”

“Yes,” you whispered timidly, a blush overtaking your cheeks.

As the words left your lips, Jack wasted no time in closing the distance between you. His hand cupped your cheek gently, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. And then, his lips met yours in a soft, tender kiss.

Time seemed to stand still as you melted into the embrace, the animosity of the past melting away with every lingering touch. The world around you faded into the background as Jack deepened the kiss, his other hand finding its way to the small of your back, pulling you closer.

When you finally pulled away, breathless and with flushed cheeks, Jack rested his forehead against yours, a contented smile gracing his lips. "I've wanted to do that for so long," he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

A genuine smile spread across your face as you looked into his eyes, seeing a mixture of vulnerability and hope. "I wish I had been honest with you from the beginning," you confessed. "But I promise, I'll make it up to you."

Jack's smile widened, and he brushed his thumb gently across your cheek. "I believe you," he said softly. "We both made mistakes, but we can start fresh--starting with a proper first date?"

“I’d like that a lot.”

[judasgot-it]

I was originally going to upload this as part of an ask I got but I feel like I got carried away, so I decided to upload this separately. I'll upload it eventually, it's literally been 6 months I'm so sorry bro.

1.5 k words

Scenario: Grocery shopping date with Tecchou

Admittedly Tecchou was sometimes a bit boring. At least that's what he was told. He was just a man who enjoyed those simple things in life.

Like watching ants on the ground. For 8 hours. Call it weird and boring, although that's just how Tecchou preferred to spend some of his work hours.

He was getting paid for it.

Or his lunch. Usually, it was just something plain, like mashed potatoes and vanilla yogurt. Maybe some mayonnaise if he felt fancy.

If it's left up to him, it's whatever he can he really finds himself thinking up of on the spot.

His dates with you usually went the same way. If he could, he would sleep in every day and get takeout - maybe do laundry and watch an old movie the two of you never had the chance to see because of his job.

Like right now? It was just grocery shopping. Maybe it was boring. Run of the mill, even.

But it was miles better than dying on the battlefield. Walking boring plain tiles were better than stepping over dead bodies. So, today was a complete win for him.

It was all pushing the grocery cart and debating the price of bagels today - the perfect ideal in his world. Seeing you check off your list with a smile, then walking back across the store because you forgot something was the best thing he could imagine doing on his day off.

There wasn't any rush. With you - he could pretend that the price of bagels was the most important thing in his life. He could pretend that he actually cared about picking up dish soap or not.

You were safe. The two of you were walking side by side, with no danger anywhere in sight.

He really felt no need to run anywhere.

This was a perfect date. An ideal one, if there were anything like that out there.

Of course, life sometimes doesn't go his way, and he's forced to deal with something out of one of the circles of hell.

The fucking return counter.

He had no problem public speaking. It was a big part of his job after all - but by god did he hate it when it came to the mundane.

Why does he have to download the store app? Why do only some of his coupons work and others don't? Why is there no tag on the item he specifically came to the store to buy, the only brand of peanut butter he could seem to find in this part of Yokohama?

Tecchou isn't one to complain, he understands the meanings of law and order very well - he is an officer, after all. But sometimes, every once and a while, he will find himself stuck in the position of what an ordinary man's hell is like.

Peanut butter and discount items. The ordinary.

Today that hell is spent with you at the return counter, waiting for them to find the correct price of his goddamn peanut butter because no one is paying an extra 3 dollars for that.

Luckily, you were there with him, so today's hell was quite bearable.

"When we get back home, what movie do you want to watch?"

Tecchou turned to you, broken out of his thoughts.

You were rummaging through the bags on his arms, looking for the snacks the two of you had bought. Not fair, since Tecchou still had to wait for his peanut butter thanks to the hell that was this store.

How could it even be called a convenience store? What was this lady doing? She had spent forever looking for the price.

"I don't know. Wasn't there a movie you wanted to watch?"

There was a scoff as you looked up at him.

"That's not fair, I picked last time."

You were cute as you pouted out your lip, acting as if he were an insolent child.

"I don't really care what we watch. Spending time with you is what's important."

If Tecchou could, he would rather stare at you all day. Even if you'd rather hide behind your hair or stare at down at your hands. Was there something catching your eye?

"Right. Well uh..."

You looked away completely, staring off somewhere towards the floor. He tried to follow your eyes, seeing what you were looking at.

Maybe it was a cool bug he hadn't noticed.

"Sir, I fixed the price."

Finally.

He looked to the counter to get his peanut butter. Although, as he tried to grab it, the girl held it back. Her nails grazed his skin, the texture making him want to vomit.

What?

"I'm gonna need something from you before I give this to you, actually."

Tecchou looked back at you, and then back at the lady at the counter.

"I already paid?"

"Oh, I know."

He stared at her.

"And?"

She giggled, looking him up and down. Whatever she was on, it had to be illegal because this was just stupid.

"I want your number, hottie." She winked, her fingers grazing the top of the peanut butter cap. Somewhere in the back of the store, Tecchou heard the normal sounds of groceries being bagged and checked out - a sound he was jealous of for once in his life.

This question felt like a riddle of some sort. 

"How did you know I was in the military?" 

He hadn't worn anything showing he was in the hunting dogs whatsoever, which made him rather concerned - why would a civilian ask for his service number? He didn't even have his sword visible on his person, so how would someone like a store clerk know to ask that question?

All he recieved back was a blank stare. 

"Um. I think we should go now. Thanks for fixing my boyfriends peanut butter."

You saved the conversation, grabbing the peanut butter gruffly and shoving it in the bag. Tecchou couldn't see your face still, but as you grabbed his hand, he felt how iron tight your grip was - your skin changing shades as you tightened your hold on him.

With unhurried steps, followed your quicker ones out the doors - the sound barely registering as you nearly rushed away from the building in a sprint, as if seeing a ghost. 

Your back stayed against him, brushing against his shoulder every once and a while as he struggled to keep pace with you and your uneven movements.

"Babe."

He gently shook the arm you had held, trying to get your attention. It forced you to stop, but you were still avoidant, staring anywhere but at him - your eyes hidden by the shadows of the now blue hour of the winter. 

Tecchou pulled you hand closer, seeing how the air that blew out of your mouth condensed into a thick fog, your hand quickly losing its squishy warmth and turning as cold as the air surrounding the two of you.

"What's wrong?"

You shook your head, a whine whistling through your throat. Tecchou watched as you laid your entire body against his, feeling your body weight smack against his. He didn't complain, simply wrapping his free arm against your shoulders, pulling you closer.

"Tecchou, did you realize she was flirting with you?"

"Who?"

That broke some invisible dam inside of you, as you broke down, laughing so loud it almost sounded like a sob. You were holding onto him for support, your knees nearly buckling underneath you.

Tecchou tried his best to wait it out, holding onto you as you caused a small wet stain on his coat. He was almost concerned, seeing you breakdown over nothing so quickly. Before he could even open his mouth to ask if you were ok, you cut him off, more serious than ever.

"You didn't know that store clerk was flirting with you, right?"

Straight into the eyes you looked at him, gripping on the coat around his waist and feeling for his sword there. Almost like a threat.

Smiling, he shook his head, carefully taking your hands away from his sword. He didn't want any chances.

"No. I was more concerned about how she knew I'm a hunting dogs member. Do you think she might be a threat, possibly? Normal civilians shouldn't be able to notice those things."

Tecchou rested his head against yours, rubbing his hands up against your shoulders as he stayed deep in thought. Your hands climbed around to fall against the small of his back, Tecchou feeling as your smaller hands pressed his coat against his skin.

It made him feel warm. Even as he felt you continue to giggle, your warm breaths fanning against his throat as he tried to decode who that clerk was - your body pressed against his, your days groceries knocking between your thighs.

It made him feel a sort of domestic warmth, creeping a smile against his face.

[x-candy-guts-x]

PaRT TWO

•You were going to head for the door when it opened before you could get to it. In its doorway stood a tall, muddied grey and black crocodilian scaled individual in his classic dark mask.

•”NOT YOU-“ you tried to bolt past him when you were shocked. You grasped at the collar in pain. You were going to attempt to get it off but you were grabbed by the rear of it and thrown back into the room onto the bed.

•”Ooman of mountain not in danger!” Next to you a little voice rang out. The little toddler bastard, the chubby youngest of the group that you’d saved previously rang out and you pulled back in shock. You looked to the big one and back to the little one.

•”oh. Great. You sent your fucking kid to drug me.”

•a chuffle and rapid clicking came from the adult, The one who bought you in the first place. He strides across the room in just a couple steps, ruffling the kids head and leaning down to your eye level.

•”I will remove.” He said lowly. Pointing to the collar around your neck. “If you behave.” nodding you agreed. His scaly hands came up and with surprising care removed the clasp. His claws just barely grazing the bruising. You rubbed your neck and remained silent. The door was still wide open. You could try to make a run for it. But where would you go? They knew of your cave. You could try running up river but the tracks would be obvious. Swim? Maybe.. but with the recent rain the current would still be pretty hard to work against.

•he stood up and offered you his hand. Carefully you took it and he guided you to the living room. The place looked small, cozy, and sort of like a bungalow. It was and dimly lit and the front door was wide open. He gestured for you to have a seat while he walked into the kitchen. His son now across the room playing with his wooden T-rex.

•You considered making a run for it. But looking outside you had to guess it was every bit of a 100ft drop. The stairs spiraled down the trunk and to the ground but it would take you much longer to navigate that than it would him. On one of the larger seats you saw your stuff. Your pelts were in a small pile and your knife and wood for carving where sitting on top of it. He’d went and gone out of his way to bring your things here. Sitting down you began carving until he brought you some food. It looked like some sort of dried meat and mashed potato. Only the potato was a blue color. You’d fallen asleep towards the end of your next carving. This one being a praying mantis about the size of your fist. It’s wings splayed out like it was flying. You were rather proud of this one. Your yautja picked up your limp form and his sons and brought the two of you to the main bedroom. You were laid on the floor with some soft furs and the one you’d managed to kill not to long ago was draped over you like a blanket. It was like a wild boar but it had six tusks and large spikes went down it’s back. You debated even trying to hunt it but upon seeing how docile it was and how absolutely hungry you were you went for it. Using the spikes and tusks for more carving material. It was covered in cotton soft black fur only about a cm thick. It felt much like a chinchilla, just big and scarier looking.

•When morning came the two yautjas were nowhere to be seen. You took the opportunity to explore the tree house. It wasn’t too big, mostly just tall and decor was fairly sparse save for the mounted skulls and one picture on the side of his bedroom. It had him, a taller female and his son but as an infant. There was also a furry six tusked pig. ‘Ah shit.’

• all day long for the coming days you carved away. About two weeks in youd assembled a whole menagerie of wooden critters. You gave the little yautja who you came to know as (bro I have no idea someone help me or he’s gonna be called timmy 🔫) quite a few over that time and his dad you called crock. His scales and color reminded you of the salt water crocodiles back home. You began carving him one when they both came through the door. You stood up and greeted them and the little one hugged your legs. He didn’t really speak much but the wonder in his eyes said it all. You were his magical ooman of the mountain. Bringer of wooden creatures. Smiling you reached for the chair and held out a large cloth. Wrapped up in it were several carvings. Pointing at the door you looked to his dad. Hoping they would get the idea to give these carvings to the other children.

• crock shook his head. You could see his face due to the mask but his posture loosened. He took hold of the cloth in one hand and yours in the other. “It is time tiny ooman met her little followers.” This puzzled you but you didn’t have much time to dwell on it when you were slung over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and out the door y’all went. Making it to the ground he sat you down and the group went quiet. The kids all stared at you wide eyed as crock handed you back the cloth. He nudged you forward. There was a pause. You laid the cloth on the ground and opened it. The pile of maybe six wooden figures revealed and the children ran to you.

•he watched from the side with the other adults as you told them stories of the creatures of earth. You still didn’t have the heart to tell them that deer were in fact not massive dangerous carnivores. His chest filling with a sense of calm joy as you played with the little ones. And also, a bit of sadness.

This is so bad and I can’t believe it took me like three days to come up with it ugh. Anyway I’m debating doing one last part but I’m not entirely sure how to wrap it up. I have a rough idea but let me know if you want me to include anything specific :) I also have requests open so feel free to slam one into my inbox lol.

Edit: welp here’s the next part lmao

[sterekchub]

Stiles gets cursed into the werehog, growing bigger and fatter as he gorges. Swelling stronger and hairy with tusks poking out of his mouth. Derek actually loving the massive horny Hog stiles becoming as the man encourages the truck crushing boar to gorge from a trough, swelling bigger and bigger, mass so much that even Derek struggles with his werewolf strength, all whilst the growing giant of a boar Stiles belches, shaking the entire town, as he wants his fifth breakfast before his first lunch is ready.

You had me with Stiles being so heavy even Derek struggles to lift him. 😄

It takes embarrassingly long for people to notice the curse. Stiles….eats like a college kid with an unlimited meal plan, so him scarfing down food isn’t new. And even before he was cursed, the freshman 15 hit him hard before the first semester was even over. Scott only starts to get a hint something is wrong when he watches Stiles load up his tray one day and everything is piled on top of each other

No seperate plates, no nicely portioned mashed potatoes next to the burger next to the Mac and cheese…..it’s one heaping, disgusting pile. Pizza thrown on top, the apple crumble tossed on stop of mashed potatoes that are smothering the 2 burgers underneath…it’s gross even for college bro standards. And Stiles digs into it like it’s the best meal he’s had. Eats it down in record time, pats his belly with a belch, and waddles back for more.

Defintely the time that Scott calls Derek. And despite a lot of research, they can’t figure out what’s wrong or how to fix it. And really, Derek isn’t even trying that hard. Stiles is still Stiles, except now he’s eating so often, it’s hard to have a conversation with him without food flying from his mouth, words muffled by mouthfuls of food, or burps interrupting every other sentence.

Derek is the enabler. Stiles is hungry? He’ll drive them to get pancakes. An hour later when Stiles looks bloated and swollen still but grunts he wants tacos? Derek pays for delivery.

As time goes on, Stiles is eating so much, and struggling to reach over the blubbery mass of his stomach, it’s easier to dump his food into a trough. Doesn’t matter what it is or how badly the tastes clash. Stiles digs in with both hands.

And given he doesn’t really care what he’s eating- Derek mostly plies him with junk food and take out and snack foods and Stiles absolutely balloons. Waddling around wider than he is tall, looking positively pig like.

Annnd horny Stiles jerking off with one hand, burrito in the other. Seems to be constantly turned in, dick hard and getting buried in his fat pad and under his gut. Eventually his belly gets too big for him to reach around, and Derek finds himself panting and belching up a storm and frustrated he can’t reach.

But even when Derek is fucking him- Stiles is still cramming food into his mouth, overworked and aching stomach spreading out on the bed underneath him.

[a-chaotically-small-lunta]

Had another wild dream

There was a festival, the biggest one of the year. Where everyone comes together to celebrate. Everyone in this world has a hidden ability, like a talent but a bit more magical. This celebration shows off the most magical of them all, like the one who can take reindeer by just touching them, or the dude who can play any instrument without ever seeing said instrument before, etc etc. some are simple powers like reading fast, or able to draw anything, or even just a very good worker, but apparently I don’t have an ability and am seen as worthless. Anyway, There are many people who are invited to this festival, but in this world there are monsters, who trap and kill people in many different ways. This is important for later. Each person invited to the festival, if they are related to one of the performers, must help out in some way shape or form. Last year I tried and failed to help, by being the end flag for the army race, where the soldiers who are invited, race to see who is the fastest. I was told to hold the flag and change it when 10, 20, 30, minutes have passed, while also stopping the clock when the winner passes me. However they never told me that last part and I got in trouble. So this year they want me to just hold a plate of mashed potatoes and hand it out.

So while we are waiting for things to start we need to find our seats. Me and my siblings are sat somewhere up higher, however there are only three seats. So I’m told to just “sit near them” on the ground, but don’t literally sit on the ground cause it’ll make the place look bad. After I join the walk with my mashed potatoes, about half way through I’m out and tell the Sargent and he says “we’ll go get more from up front” which btw this walk is like walking around a mega church building. So yeah, I get pissed and walk back with everyone looking at me. I get back and decide fuck it I’m going to just sit and not do anything. So I climb in the seats where my siblings are, get yelled at by a dude who I have to pass by when getting to these seats cause “you should know better than to walk on my seat” bro it’s literally the only way to the other seats, if you know another path please show me. He just grumbles and says that I should know of another path. I ignore him and get to the seats and stand nearby cause my sibs are sitting there. The show starts then and that’s my siblings cue to leave their seats so they can be carried away to perform. So I’m left in the middle of the path that also acts as the stage and I just quickly get over to the side cause wtf else do I do. Only to get reprimanded by my aunt and mother that “I should be in my seat and not basically on the stage” I just glare at them and say “well maybe somebody should make sure there are ENOUGH seats for us then” only for them to say that there were and that I’m being unhelpful and just want to complain. I finally snap and just walk along the path/stage, backwards. I’m heading to my car and just running away cause I can’t deal with these shits.

Anyway, Remember the monsters? Once outside I see a few roaming around, they are different sizes and different creatures. I don’t care and just keep walking. Apparently last year I ran into one, it grabbed me and I thought that was it, but it just rubbed my head and cooed before putting me down, chasing another person, and then eating them. So I didn’t care cause I felt pretty safe around them, which is saying something when the step on a car and it explodes.

I’m making my way to my car when I hear that apparently my family is looking for me already. I’m like “shit” so start running across the town/city to get to my car. But once again the town is being swarmed by monsters. I get to an area where this grass tentacle monster thing is sitting, and there’s a group of others trying to figure out how to pass it with getting caught. I tell them just don’t get hit by the end of the grass thorn tentacle thing, cause that’s what’ll grab you, as I start causally climbing over the already grown tentacles. A few tentacles have fallen apart and I grab a few and say “check this out” before chucking them into a body of water. The tentacle then grow and form another monster, the exact same kind of monster that we just passed. I rub it’s little head and say it’s a good boy and needs to stay there until it’s big enough to leave the pond. The group is horrified that I just made more monsters and most run away from me in fear.

The more brave parts of the group quickly joins me and hopes I can get them to safety and I mention that the house next to the library has a spell on it that repels all monsters, and that I’ll be walking in that direction anyway so they can join me. Anyway we continue walking through the snow and crowds of people who are scurrying off to do whatever when another monster appears. This one is a classic giant who is seen chasing someone, he sees me and for a brief second considers going for me before returning to his original target. I don’t get to see if he successfully catches them or not.

Eventually we get to the house and I drop them off before going to the library cause it’s a bit closer to my destination. I get yoinked in by someone who is panicking cause there’s a monster running the library. I look over and it’s this little sand vampire lady monster. I recognize her cause a few years back she successfully trapped me in her sandpit. She started sucking out my youth before stopping and realizing that I wasn’t getting older, but she was still getting younger. She is confused and asks what’s going on and I just shrug and say that I have no idea but if she want she can keep trying until she feels she is at the youthful age she wants. She does and I still don’t age, I then tell her if she acts human and doesn’t attack anyone else, that I’ll help her maintain her youth…at least until I die. She agrees and starts to work in the library. She looks human but if you look closely you see her skin is actually sand. Anyway the person is freaking out and I just say hi to the librarian and ask how it’s going. She said fine and that she needs a little pick me up, so I allow her. Much to the horror of the other person.

We chat for a bit before another smaller monster runs in and grabs me and the shocked person shouting that another giant monster needs a sacrifice. He is this fur covered monster with horns and he rushes out, despite the librarian’s shouts. Then we see the a new monster, this giant tall skinny monster, their skin swirling with different darker colors (like dark blue, deep violet, black, and a hint of dark green too)

That’s when the monster carrying us puts us down and is about to shout at this bigger monster that he brought a sacrifice but freezes for two reasons, 1: monsters are not against attacking smaller monsters and mr fluff here was hoping to get on this big dudes good side but just witnessed the big guy rip another monster apart, and 2: he looks at me and says that I shouldn’t be there and that he messed up by bringing me. I’m still confused before it clicks in my brain. I’m not useless, I do have an ability and a very rare one at that. I have a monster ability, it’s why I don’t get attacked, it’s why I can walk by them, it’s why they hesitate and change their mind, it’s why their attacks don’t affect me and why I know so much about them despite not seeing some of these monsters. I stare at the monster who was holding me cause we both realized what I am, just then the giant dark creature is looking at us with bright violet eyes. I’m not scared and walk forward placing my hand in the middle of his face… I then wake up.

[bearsgrove]

58 & 64 & 76 ehehe xxxxxx

thank u!!!!!!!!!!

58. four talents you’re proud of having? my very first thought: bro i have None but idk if i think about it for a sec uhhhh. i guess i like the way im able to talk myself out of things and just like mildly influence/manipulate people. like when im in trouble or im trying to avoid being in trouble im pretty good at smooth-talking my way out of most situations and its always been a very natural thing for me but yes it is definitely a talent lmao and then. hmm. i suppose i can draw and paint and im quite creative. im biting through 20 layers of self-criticism saying this btw i dont think i can name four ngl

64. favorite website from your childhood? there is a couple that come to mind transformice.com which was an online game really but hey the question says website so it counts. i played that SO fucking much. on the surface it was a simple multiplayer platformer where u played as a little mouse in a group with other mice and the objective was to get to the cheese. one of the mice was a shaman which meant that they had special abilities and they had to help all the mice get to the cheese. but there was SO much more going on. there were many custom games, clans, rooms, events… i loved it. my favourite custom game was kind of the opposite of the main game objective, the shaman mouse had to kill all mice in the room lmao. anyway. then there was dolldivine which i think people might be familiar with. dress up games basically. then there was one other website i cant remember the name which had many little games in it, from dress up to interior design to whatever. then i used to play ladypopular a lot which i wont even get into explaining lol but it ate up a huge chunk of my childhood

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? i feel like i could write an entire love song about potatoes. like. ALL of them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally every potato food is god tier. i think i might like fries the most? but then i remember that baked potatoes exist and u can just boil potatoes have them with some salt and sour cream or mashed potatoes or…………….. jesus man. fuck. it is THE food ever because its so simple so easy and yet SO fucking good no matter how u prepare it. low risk high reward etc

[transsexualhamlet]

🍽️🐉👑 for the ask game wooo

hiiii :))))))

silm ask game

🍽️ You are having a dinner party and you can invite five (5) characters from the Silm. Who do you invite?

Ok well there's two choices here. Either I create a dinner party which can FUNCTION and won't result in SOMEONE'S DECAPITATED HEAD LANDING IN THE MASHED POTATOES orrrr I could be silly :3

so here's the two.

If I want a functional and enjoyable dinner party I invite Beleg (Turin is outside on a leash so lightning doesn't strike the fucking house), Finrod, Fingon, Luthien (Beren is outside making sure Turin doesn't get hit by lightning), and Tuor. I think it would be lovely and everyone would have a great time and they would all decide to go hang out outside in old man parade lawnchairs and start beatboxing.

If I want an INTERESTING dinner party I invite Feanor, Maedhros, Aredhel, Melkor, and Fingolfin. Bets on the first bowl of pasta thrown for a silmaril!

Technically adding Thingol might make this arrangement even more volitile but I don't want to invite Thingol no one wants to invite Thingol

🐉 A lot of figures in the Silm have weird Eldritch powers or possibly biology. Tell us about your headcanons for one.

Oh so this is my place to ramble about my Melkor design agenda. Trust me WAY too much thought has gone into this.

First, the caveat: All of the Valar I believe originally manifested forms that range from 9-12 feet tall, with reasonably adjusted proportions. They can obviously decide to be like the size of a skyscraper or normal human sized any time they want but I would consider that to be their normal baseline. (Mandos is the tallest, but Melkor and Manwe are similarly close behind.) (Maiar are usually 6-8 feet tall, and can generally blend in with elves unless they're on the taller end)

So as Melkor is the most powerful of the Valar his design just has to be the most imposing, and I feel many don't do it justice either for focusing too hard one one element (he basically invented all of them except for water) or making him look too much just like. If a guy was a vampire. (Not to mention the old tolkien bros who decided he just looks like if an orc was big.) Obviously the Valar are mostly modeled on elves considering they're really the elvish gods men were just left to fend for themfuckingselves, but they all have sort of elemental/supernatural aspects of their biology depending on their power.

In my opinion, Melkor's form in his full glory (pre- chronic injuries) is extremely fluid. His mass is 90% robes and hair . Just a truly obscene amount of hair and it all behaves like writhing smoke. His main domain is Darkness so it's just like. It's like you're talking to a sentient shadow. He's I think the Vala who most often changes his size like Melkor is the kinda guy who will just grow to the size of a building because he doesn't wanna walk all the way from point A to point B. Either that or he will just fucking evaporate and skirt around like an ominous fog. But I feel when he is solid his physical form behaves like stone, in the fact that it is grey and will glow like magma in cracks across him if he's in hot enough fire. When he was first on Arda as it was being created, he looked much different- well, first off, like a naked ken doll, and secondly entirely a bright glowing orange gold. They kicked him off and everything isn't lava anymore so he doesn't look like that anymore but that was basically what I'd call an "adolescent" form of him which no one but him and the Valar remember anymore.

But yes while he was in the void he got goth and now he looks like a big shadow with a lot of tentacley hair. And horns and talons and teeth. Which is incredibly important to note. I am normal

I already answered the Noldor king allegiance thing on Seb's ask, which u can check out a few posts below but it was Finrod :)

[stygiusfic]

what I mean by 'the specter of multiplayer', in a nutshell:

dialogue lacks subtlety. everything is blunt and artless: "This is who I am and what I want you to do." so you don't need to think too hard or infer anything from context, and can get back to why you're here (combat).

unfortunately this extends even to many companion quests of a reflective nature: everyone knows what their character flaws are, and they WILL tell you outright. this is unrealistic and (worse) very boring

every bit of plot info is recapped a dozen times, sometimes even right after it happens, so you can catch up if you weren't paying attention to the plot scene (because you're here for combat). if you WERE paying attention, this is insufferable. so many scenes feel like a pitch from a writer delivered through a character's mouth

btw there is no action/reaction scene structure, because the "reaction" scenes (sitting with the team in the Lighthouse) are just a recap of what happened, again

the tasty potatos of ye olde Dragon Age lore are mashed into a homogeneous purée that is easily digestible to even the pickiest eaters! here's all you will ever need to know to play through this game: gods scary and Venatori bad, go kill them! (combat. which is what you're here for, remember?)

this makes SO many battles feel meaningless, like they needed to populate the map with combat encounters (since you're here for combat) and for combat they need enemies, and those enemies gotta have models to appear on screen, so... just toss some Antaam brutes or Venatori on there, whatever! they're essentially interchangeable.

related to this: can these enemies please shut the fuck up during combat. can they stop reading their lines from Villainy for Dummies, published and edited by Stereotypes Press

speaking of lore: for a game with so many lore drops and reveals, it's insane how boring it is. it's kind of impressive. the reason, I think, is that nothing is reacted to with the weight it should have.

to clarify: we care about a story only when characters in the story care. when the impact of events is felt in its characters, we feel it too. if a person drops dead on screen, I feel emotion not when I see the body, but when their loved one beside them wails in horror and despair. the elven gods are back and we don't see the elves react: are they horrified that the Creators were not the kindly benefactors they believed? are some of them joining the gods, because at least it's THEIR history and since the world has treated elves like shit, it's time for elves to return the favor? are there schisms happening within the Dalish? we don't see any of that. Davrin says he's concerned the gods' rise will result in racist backlash against the elves, but we never see that either.

because the lore is flattened, and nothing has the weight it should have if lore were followed to its natural conclusion, they constantly have to make up Bigger Problems, in an attempt to make them weighty. But again, because ramifications aren't fully explored, I just can't take those problems seriously as real threats.

it's like when the later seasons of game of thrones were coming out and people complained it was dull because they knew the surviving characters were safe, they couldn't drop dead at any moment like in previous seasons, because the show would end. a threat isn't a threat if I know it'll never be paid off

also? despite the reddit bros' outrage at having a "woke" game, this is probably the bioware game in recent memory that is whitest and least concerned with social justice, just by virtue of how it refuses to engage meaningfully with any of the real life societal issues that dragon age used to honor in its worldbuilding. there is no racism in Ba Sing Se, no slavery (except by the old gods who were naughty) and an armed group couping a civil government is ok if they look hot doing it!

also I should be allowed to turn around and kiss Davrin square on the lips

the more I write the more it feels like I could be here all night, so let's just call it here. goodnight!!

dragon age: the veilguard is like being put into a race car that could break the sound barrier but then they only drive it at a speed appropriate for a school zone

it's like being put on a great sea voyage and told fearsome tales of the kraken and then one day the kraken comes out of the water and it just waves hi at your ship and then leaves

it's chekhov's gun on the wall in act 1 but it's never fired, and since the lack of gunshots does make you lose your fear of the gun, they tell you: but wait!! there's a bigger badder gun out there!! (and that won't be fired either. not in any way that matters. if it's ever fired it will be so late in the story that it's impossible to give a shit anymore)

there is so much wasted potential and so many times they say "no" to the world they're supposedly playing in, it makes me feel insane

[rafescoke]

Never sent a request idk if I do this right. Been to lazy and not good lately and honestly I just need a good fluff. The basic plot where he is in a bad mood like angry and then he turns to his lover etc etc. Do your thing I just need some comfort and love!

Cupcake ; Rafe Cameron

masterlist

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary: Maybe making cupcakes with a girl he likes won’t be a bad thing

Warnings: Slight angst on the earlier part, cursing, substance, extreme fluff, adorable Rafe Cameron

A/N: I hope you're doing good, sending all my love and hugs @ you <33 remember to rest!!! @asimpwriter

p.s; you know the drill - send any requests!

"Fuck off," Rafe sighed, shutting his eyes against the bright chandelier above the dinner table. Since when did it got so bright? The last time he checked, it was dimmed. "I swear Sarah, say one more word and I'll fucking kill you."

"Rafe," Ward sighed, placing his cutleries down onto the expensive wooden table. "It's family time. Excuse your sister."

"She's hanging around with those stupid pogues, dad!" he groaned, not wanting to believe that his dad was on her side. Not that he was ever on his, but he thought his father would have the same mindset as him towards this topic.

"Let. It. Go."

"They're my friends," she breathed, and Ward closed his eyes again, knowing the screaming that was about to occur. "I'm sorry you're stuck with Topper-"

"Didn't you cheat on him?" he laughed, and turned to look at his dad. He mouthed at him with an amused expression, "She cheated on him."

"I didn't, and we broke up 2 weeks ago. I'm sorry he couldn't move on from me," Sarah shrugged, and Rafe watched as she put aside her green beans and offered some of the mashed potatoes to Wheezie.

How could she act so normal about this?

"Oh, and-" Sarah turned to Ward, and Rafe waited impatiently for the lies that was about to slip from her mouth. "Do you know that he does drugs?"

"Sarah!" Rose yelled, furrowing her eyebrows as Rafe laughed out loud, clapping his hands loudly that the sound echoed throughout the huge house. "It's a family dinner!"

"I don't give a fuck about this family," Sarah said, removing the napkin from her lap and quickly standing up to get out of the house. Ward didn't say anything, neither did Rose, and after a few seconds, he let out a sigh.

"This is getting out of hand," he started, clasping his hands. "Rafe, I'm no longer letting you take over my business."

Rafe stopped his movements, looking at his father with widened eyes. After all those time he spent at college, trying to make his father proud and to take over the business, only for this?

"Dad, you can't. She's lying, dad, I haven't been using drugs."

"I saw the stash, Rafe," he sighed, and Rafe thought about the space under his bed. He closed his eyes, muttering a ‘fuck’ when he finally remembered the empty space. He didn't think much about it earlier, thinking about how he must have used up all of the powder.

"Until you get your life back on track, or nothing at all."

"Dad-"

"Go find your sister, and bring her home."

"Dad, please-"

"Go find Sarah."

"Okay," he sighed, standing up immediately and letting the chair scraped the polished floor. Wheezie shifted uncomfortably at the sound, and Rafe had an urge to do it again, just for the sake of riling his father's anger.

He cursed silently, walking away towards the table and to the porch, all while thinking about the joy if he could destroy the Pogues' life for making his hard.

The drive from Figure 8 to The Cut took him 30 minutes at high speed and being fully caffeinated, and when he arrived at the Chateau, all riled up from the quarrel with his father that he had before, he didn't try to see if his sister was even in there before barging into the small home.

"Yo, what the fuck?"

"Where's Sarah?" he muttered, giving Kie his side glance and continued searching for her. "Where the fuck is she?"

"Yo, bro, this land is off to the kooks," JJ stepped in, eye to eye as he leveled up to Rafe's height. He was only an inch shorter, but the difference was apparent. He continued to place his hands against his chest, whispering slowly. "Especially to crackheads like you."

Rafe laughed, tilting his head to the back to release the tension building up in his body. He was so, so close to give the blonde boy the consequences of his words, but was halted when Sarah entered the room, hand in hand with John B.

"What are you doing here?" she groaned, walking forward and standing in front of him. "God, can't you leave me alone?"

"Oh, trust me, I rather do that more than anything especially-" his eyes trailed to John B, "When you're fucking with a trash."

"JJ-" Kie stepped up, pulling JJ's shirt to stop him from doing anything. She sighed, knowing that this was bound to happen anytime soon, and she had told John B about this before, but he didn't listen. Now it was like her job to protect her friends from Rafe.

"Leave," Sarah stated, her lips pulled into a tight grimace. "Leave before I'll tell dad about this."

"I'm just trying to protect you," he ran his fingers through his hair, making it more messier than ever. Why couldn't she get that? All he was doing - it was all to protect her, so that his father could see him for what he's worth.

"You know what?" he sighed, wrapping his face with his large hands and turning towards the exit. "You wanna be one of them? Go. Don't ever come back home. You're just another trash, anyways."

He wasn't sure if he meant them, or if it came from the heat of the moment. All he could think about was to run away, to hide and to never come out and face his father or the judgement put by everyone else. He felt an uneasy feeling rising in the pit of her stomach, but he was too proud to say sorry.

“That was useless," he thought, leaning over his motorcycle and blinking his eyes against the lights by the side of the road. He couldn't go back now, not when his father had just ordered him to bring Sarah home and he had failed to do so, and he couldn't go to Barry's; his dad could find him there if he search for him the next day.

He groaned, feeling the cold air nipping at his skin until the final thought occurred to him. He laughed then, not sure as to why he hadn't been thinking of that sooner, and soon he was in front of the mini apartment.

He rapped on the door and waited patiently, his heartbeat quickening. He looked at his watch, checking if his arrival was too late. He groaned, noticing the time, but it would be embarrassing for him to turn now.

(Y/N) was trying to figure out what colour should she put into the frosting mixture, her hands on her waist when she heard the knock.

Her head instinctively looked at the clock, frowning when she read the time. It was not that late, only around 10 p.m., but she was not ready for any guests or her friends to come over.

Had she been too loud that the cranky neighbor next door who sleeps early everyday had come to tell her off?

She sighed, lowering the music coming from the radio before making her way to the door. She was in nothing but her ribbed top and a pair of sweatpants, and her hair was messier than ever.

"I'm sorry, Jerry," she sighed, opening the door to greet the old man. But standing in front of her was not the grey-haired man with furrowed eyebrows, ready to scold her, but it was the boy she had been crushing on since forever instead.

"Rafe?" she exclaimed, and she couldn't deny the shock spreading through her veins at the sight of him. He was sweaty, like he had just been in a fight, and his shirt was sticking to his body. "What are you doing here?"

"Hey, I'm sorry, can I come in?"

The smell of freshly baked cupcakes wafted into his nostrils, and he noticed the drool in his mouth. He didn't eat dinner that much, being forced to chase after his sister, and all he wanted was to enjoy some good food and get a good sleep for the night.

"I'm not. . . we can't. . . I'm not prepared for anything-"

"It's okay, I didn't come for sex," he bit his lips, trying to contain her amused laughter at her statement. "We're friends, (Y/N), aren't we?"

"Yeah," she raised a brow, not grasping at the way he was playing his words. She allowed him in, asking him to sit by the kitchen counter and checking her porch outside to see if there was any cameras in case he was trying to prank her.

Rafe Cameron never contacted her for anything if it wasn't for sex.

"What are you making?" he pointed at the mess on the kitchen, and (Y/N) tried to hide her red face as she quickly tried to put the stained bowls and cutleries into the sink.

"Uh, cupcakes."

"Yum," he chuckled, liking the way she was so nervous around him. The truth with (Y/N), she was extremely wild in bed but also very shy outside. It was like a complete two different person, but he was always intrigued by this.

The first time they had done the deed, he was shocked when she got into control, and he would lie if he said he didn't enjoy it. That night was one of Rafe’s best nights, the starting point to the many after.

"Relax, (Y/N)," he laughed, watching as she tilted a cup and placing his hand under the table to catch it before it could break. (Y/N) yelped, struck to her position, and let out the biggest relief when Rafe put it back to its previous place, safe as ever.

"Why are you so jumpy?" he whispered, sneaking beside her to help with whatever she was doing. He hadn't got a clue about this whole baking thing, only watching Cake Wars for the drama, but he wanted to help the girl beside him if it means he got to spend time with her.

"What are you doing?" she muttered, glancing at Rafe's hands as he whisked the fluffy frosting. "Rafe, you're going to get it more clumpy."

"No, I won't."

"Rafe, I swear," she groaned, reaching over to grab the whisk only for him to turn around, laughing while she struggled to get him.

"I'm just making it more fluffier," he smiled, continuing to whisk the mixture without even looking at the white colloid. He was too busy looking at her, and he wondered if she knew about the small amount of flour powder that had gotten on the top of her nose.

"Was the coke good?"

"Huh?" she tilted her head, confused, and still angry at the way he was not listening to her.

"The nose. Was the coke good?"

(Y/N) gave him a look before going to the corner to stare at herself in the mirror, letting out a yelp when she saw the powdery stain on her nose. She quickly dusted them off, stalking back to the still-whisking boy, and she wondered about the amount of energy he had in him and how he was still not tired.

"Rafe! It's all clumped!" she sighed, finally having a hold on the large bowl. She took her a finger and tipped it into the mixture, pulling out before slipping the finger into her mouth. Her face scrunched up, and she reached for the glass of water by her side.

"What? It's more prettier. More texture-ish. If we're in Cake Wars, we'll be the winner."

"That's not how it works," she groaned, pouring the failed mixture into the sink and letting the water cleansed them off. "Now my cupcake's going to be naked."

"You know what can be naked too?"

She held up her middle finger, placing the wet bowl onto the counter and using the clean cloth to wipe it dry. "And I'm not giving these to the children's home naked. You have to help me, Rafe."

Rafe felt a smile tugging on his lips at the mention of 'children’s home', and he thought about how perfect could she be. She’s the epitome of the girl everyone wants to be - she's good in school, never using anyone's money for her, good at baking, and has a big heart?

He thought about how she's good in bed too, but he tired to shake the childish thought away.

"What can I do? Should I go to the store and get any Betty Crocker's frosting?" he offered, his hands in his pocket to reach for his keys. He watched as her shoulder slumped, and he felt bad for ruining her cake. He touched her shoulder, "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would actually be clumped. I thought it would get even more fluffier."

"You don't think, Rafe, that's why," she sighed, "But that's alright. Do you think you can help me make another one?"

"Are you sure? I don't want to ruin anything," he backed away, glancing at the sink and thinking about the clumped mixture making their way to the sewer.

"Yes. Can you reach for that sugar? That's flour, Rafe, god, yes, yes, okay, c'mere," she rolled her eyes, taking the container from him and dumping the content into the dried bowl. "Now, what do we do?"

"Put water?"

(Y/N) laughed, tilting her head to one side, trying to clutch her stomach from hurting. "Yeah, if you want the kids to get sick."

"Okay, Gordon, what should we do next?" he grunted, but he liked the lightness in the air. How the conversation flowed easily, and how quick he regained her trust to help her make whatever this is.

It was like she didn't care about the Rafe Cameron that gets into fights with the pogues or snorts coke when he's stressed. He felt like staying in this moment forever, wanting to help her bake whatever and watching her smile.

(Y/N) handed him the butter, muttering something along the words of 'dump them in', 'use the mixture', 'you're going to break your arms' and 'watch while it's whisking'.

He didn't care about the many orders she was giving him - he enjoyed it. He truly liked how his night was ending after a long day of bullshit, starting with his college sending him a letter for the vandalism he had caused outside of the Dean's office, Kelce and Topper going on a road trip without him and giving him the explanation of 'we asked you, and you said no'.

In truth, he didn't even remember anything about meeting them. His memory was starting to fade, and he shuddered at the thought of not knowing anyone when he reaches Ward's age.

"Okay, that's enough," she groaned, switching the button off. Rafe apologized quickly, being so caught up with his own thoughts, and waited for her next order.

"Choose the colour," she exclaimed happily, pointing out two different food dyes. "I can't choose!"

Rafe skimmed over the label that said 'blue' and 'pink', and made a face. "Are you going to give the blue ones to the boys and the pinks to the girls or something?"

"What? No?"

"Okay. . . why can't we just use both?"

"And make purple?"

"Yeah? Hey, look, I'm wearing blue and you're wearing pink!"

(Y/N) looked down to the ribbed top, noticing the colour, and her face turned into a red shade. Now everything's going to be awkward.

"Okay, purple it is," she rolled her eyes, giving him the blue bottle and taking the pink one for herself. "Three drops together. Are you ready?"

"Mhm."

"1."

Rafe licked his lips, so eager to watch the colour forming.

"2," she looked at him, and back to the frosting. "Rafe!"

"What?" he raised a brow, following her gaze and watching the blue dots on the frosting. He put his hand over his mouth, too stunned to say anything. "Oh my god, I'm so-"

(Y/N) laughed out loud, this time with her hands gripping onto the kitchen counter to stabilize herself, her mind rewinding back to his expression when he found out what he just did.

"Ha-ha, now you're just being an asshole," he rolled his eyes, but he was glad he had made her laugh. Instinctively, her laugh had made him feel better, and all of his worries dissipated into the air.

After a while, she tried to get ahold of herself to put the pink drops in, but failing to do so as his face kept appearing in her mind. Rafe groaned, having to wait for a few minutes now, and pulled her to feet. He pushed her against the counter, her back against his front as he trapped her.

"Don't laugh."

(Y/N) bit her lips, being in this position but not for what they usually do, and concentrated on dropping 3 drops of pink into the bowl. She cheered when she was done, pulling his hand away to move to the other side. The back of her neck was still hot, and she could still feel his arms around her.

"Mix it," Rafe smiled, leaning against the counter to watch as the mixer whisked the frosting, turning the pearly white colloid to a beautiful dark purple.

"It's dark!" she groaned, but she thought about how it still looked good, though it wasn't her expectation. Her job was almost finished now, and she could hear her bed calling.

"Now, the fun part," she smiled, taking her icing materials and placing them before his eyes. She watched as he laughed, being so excited as if he was a toddler seeing a playground for the first time.

"They used these in Cake Wars," he said proudly, showing her a nozzle.

"Stop with your Cake Wars," she mumbled, preparing the icing bag and giving Rafe one. "Put some frosting- not yet, Rafe, God, do you ever wait? Don't fill the bags too much, just in the middle, yes, just like that, and, wait, let me do mine."

She showed him how to do the perfect icing, practicing on a clean plate and asking him to do the same. He scoffed at her, saying how he got this, but what appeared was nothing more than a crooked line.

"That's nice," she muttered, sighing. "For a coming-out party."

Rafe groaned, trying to copy her artwork, and by the time it was 12.03 a.m., he had managed a copy of hers. Not literal, but there was a hint of hers in his.

"Okay. Now, Rafe, we'll make this quick. I do 80 cupcakes, and you do 20. Is that okay?"

"Yes, ma'am," he said, concentrating on his piping bag. He watched as she did the first cupcake, ending her icing perfectly and exclaiming happily as she put it aside. She looked at him, waiting.

"Don't look at me, you're making me nervous," he mumbled, and leaned to decorate the cupcake. It took him a total of 2 minutes, stopping at times and getting a yell from (Y/N), saying how he should not stop, and the result was impressive. At least to him.

"This will probably be in the rejected part of a bakery, you know, that they'll sell with a discount."

"Not everyone can do arts, (Y/N)," he rolled his eyes, but he truly enjoyed the joke.

It was nearing one in the morning when Rafe saw her sighing in relief, placing the last cupcake into the pastry box and safely storing them in the refrigerator. Her hair was in a bun, he had helped her put them up, and when she refused to let him help her, he gave her a poke.

"What? It's not like it's my first time putting your hair up."

"God, Rafe, you're impossible."

His eyes were almost shut, being so tired after being a cake decorator, and all he wished for was to pull her into her bed and sleep until the morning greets them. He waited until she was done cleaning all of the utensils, walking tiredly towards to him to wake him up.

"Get change, Rafe, I'm not letting you sleep in my bed with that shirt and that sweatpants."

"It's not a problem before," he mumbled, allowing himself to be pulled by her to the bedroom. He removed his shirt weakly, pulling off his sweatpants and jumping into the bed as soon as she closed the light. (Y/N) giggled lightly, noticing how adorable he was being, and she pinched his cheeks before she could stop herself.

"Take off your clothes."

"I'm not going to take off my clothes," she laughed, pulling down her shorts and getting into the bed beside him. She finally laid her back against the mattress, letting out the biggest relief ever as she tried to get comfortable.

He pulled her close towards him, breathing into her scent. She smelled like cupcakes, and he loved it.

"I'm going to the children's home with you."

"What?" she pulled a face, because she wasn't sure if she had heard him right. There was no way Rafe Cameron would ever step his foot into a children's home, what more to give out dark purple cupcakes.

"I'm going to the children's home with you. To give them cupcakes."

(Y/N) smiled and kissed his cheeks. "Okay."

"And we should do this again."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Goodnight, Rafe," she laughed lightly, placing another peck before closing her eyes.

He placed a long kiss fully on her lips, feeling the butterflies soaring in his stomach. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."

-

taglist is close atm until i figure out wtf is up with tumblr :(

@okayshoto @joselyn001 @onceuponateenagetrash @dyingsleep @im19yearsold @iwannabeapogue @meaganjm @rafesobxs @flossy2929 @drewstarkeyluver @unfortunatekiwitrash @Mellifluouszayn @hhishho @hvrcruxes @scottybitch @asimpwriter @starxqt @amaya124 @Made212 @adriee16 @eggirl @tommy-tommo @thatshithurted8 @beyatch012 @fallincindy @marvelwhor3 @rafeswh0ree @kookap @supernaturallydc-blog @blank-velvet @alaniskauany @lumzs @kiiim8 @witchywrter @kaitlyn2907 @heyimflo @overcookedpastasause @tsukkiswifeey @spidey-d00d @anonymousobxfan @gotmeinloveagain @chicagoblackhawkslover96 @lexi-writes @Emmalvei_03 @classydragonthingknight @belongtoyou-u

[pearl-blue-musings]

Could I order a medium well steak with mashed potatoes and peas please? I’ll be splitting it with Bakugo and/or Kirishima ☺️

Oh honey yes yes you can!! And thanks for giving me my first poly fic ☺️☺️ 💪💥

Pairing: KiriBaku x fem!reader poly is this happening or.???

Warnings: smut, 18+, oral fem and male receiving, hair pulling, one or two daddy calling, threesome, fingering, spanking, it’s my first time writing poly mkay

Enjoy your meal~

Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou Katsuki, and you. Friends since high school and now inseparable in your fourth year of college. The dynamic between the three of you was always energetic, supportive and fun. Most of your friends always found you three together and it would always be weird if one of you was without the other two. Yes, this was perfect, it was working, it was fine.

It didn’t matter that feelings between the three of you began to shift from platonic to romantic.

When did that start really? Well it could be boiled down to a couple of instances. The first one being your first major heartbreak in college. You were a freshman, young, a little naïve, so you dove head first into the arms of an upperclassmen who claimed to see you for you. Until you saw him in the arms, rather sheets, of someone else. The pain you felt was excruciating as you ran and told your two best friends. Each of them lending an ear and some advice to your heart slowly closing off to them and the world.

“That extra didn’t deserve you anyways. You can do way better.”

“I already got your favorite ice cream. Now come on, I know you wanna cry in my shoulder. We’re here for you.”

You hadn’t expected them to be so kind and caring about that. The three of you ended up cuddling together and watching your favorite movies. It was confusing. This is normal for friends right? Totally platonic for friends to snuggle and provide affectionate care after a bad break up. Totally and completely.

But your heart can’t stop racing and you can’t stop the warmth you feel from their closeness.

The next time was when Bakugou’s college hockey team made it to the national title your second year. You and Kirishima had been at every game, even the ones out of state. You cheered him on and yelled at all the right times when plays and calls seemed unfair.

“You call that an infraction? Bakugou barely touched that guy, come on!”

“Hell yeah bro! That’s how you score on those unmanly boys over there!”

He never admitted it, but seeing the two of you in the stands at all of his games made him want to play harder and better, push himself to be the best despite any potential injuries he could have gotten. Being able to hear your intense screams over the crowd and Kiri’s booms of what’s manly on the ice and what isn’t made his heart race in a way he couldn’t figure out. There’s no way it’s the l word. No, they’re his best friends.

That’s all it is, he loves his best friends in the most non-romantic way possible.

The third and last instance was a little more personal between the three of you; starting with you and Kirishima. It was a party, celebrating Kirishima’s new job at the university gym, where you began to realize your feelings. The apartment was filled with close friends and some acquaintances where alcohol and some drugs flowed freely. The two men had lived together with a couple other guys they knew so for the most part they were on host duties. When you had finally arrived with a couple of your girlfriends, you greeted the blond and red head and continued to dance and mingle with your friends.

About an hour after you had entered, you walked over to Kirishima’s room to use his bathroom (you didn’t want to touch Denki’s bathroom) in his room. When you walked into his room, you were surprised to see him standing in front of his closet, half naked and changing shirts.

“Ah geez Eiji! Sorry to interrupt, I’ll wait outside.”

He chuckles and finishes putting on his shirt. “It’s all good pebble. I just had a little spill and needed to change.” He looks you up and down in an unfamiliar way. “Did you need to use my bathroom?”

You feel your cheeks heat up at how close he had gotten. It had to be the alcohol, right? That’s the only explanation. “Yeah,” you huff out, “but I don’t know if I need to go anymore ha ha.”

He grins at you and asks, “do you wanna sit for a bit? I feel like we haven’t had much time just the two of us.”

And who were you to say no to one of your best friends? So you sit beside him on his bed, something you’ve done plenty of times before. But somehow this felt, different. You feel him lay his head on your lap, a move he’s done before to indicate how tired he is and you naturally rake your fingers through his soft hair. You wish he would wear it down more often, you think he looks better that way.

“You really think so?”

You look down at him and freeze. Seems that you were talking out loud instead of in your mind. You giggle awkwardly, but keep your fingers attached to his scalp. “Yeah,” you hum. “It looks really nice.”

He hums into you, enjoying the feeling of your hand in his hair. A soft smile adorns his face as he muses to himself, “wouldn’t it be funny if Bakugou gelled his hair down?”

You don’t do much to hold in the laughter that erupts from your stomach, making the man in your lap laugh with you. The small intimate moment between you becomes more intimate when Kirishima sits up to look you in the eyes, his pupils dilated. You feel his hand come up to your cheek as his thumb rubs circles near the crease of your eye. “God you’re beautiful,” he whispers holding your gaze. The hand that was previously in his hair rests on his broad shoulder. Had he always been this rough yet soft to the touch? You don’t realize you’re sharing breaths until his next words are felt on your lips.

“Can I kiss you?”

You nod fervently and close the short distance between your lips. The rush that you feel when his warm lips are on yours is an experience you want to relive over and over. Just like him, his kiss is soft and full of care as he gently kisses you. Kirishima’s hands run down your body and find comfort on your hips while your wrap around his neck, pulling him closer. You can feel how hard he is from your bodies grinding on each other.

You break for air with a string of saliva connecting your lips. This is it. You might’ve known it for a long time but it’s glaring at you right in your face. You love him, and from what you can muster, he loves you too. The way his fingers are still touching you even though the act of passion has ended. Your foreheads are touching as you both exchange breaths.

“I,” he starts, “I think I’m in love with you. Well, have been for awhile.”

You smile when he smiles and slowly peck his lips. “I love you too, Eijirou.” You pause to cup his cheek and feel happiness grow inside when he leans into it. “But what about-“

“Bakugou?”

“Yeah.”

Your hand falls into your lap and Kirishima reaches for it. He holds it gently and strokes his thumb at the back of it. The silence in the room isn’t complete because of the muffled music and shouting outside the closed door. You part your lips and struggle for the next couple of seconds to say the right thing. “I don’t want our dynamic to change.”

“Neither do I. But I can’t deny these feelings I’ve had for you anymore! Ever since that jerk cheated on you at the beginning of college, I think that’s when my feelings started. I hated seeing you cry and I vowed that if you ever did cry that I would be the one to wipe away your tears and take care of you. Not that you can’t take care yourself, you know what I mean!” Your light chuckle helps him to keep talking. “But I think about how it’s always the three of us and… I don’t wanna leave Katsuki out of this, us! It wouldn’t feel right.

“And I think when we saw him score that winning goal last year, with the way you looked at him I thought you could never look at me that way.”

Your back sits up straighter at his words. Was that true? Did you also have feelings for Bakugou as well? He had turned his face away from you at his admittance, but you pulled him back for a kiss. This one seemed to be more heated and passionate than the last as your hands search and prod his warm body all over.

You were so tightly wound up in each other you neglected to hear his door opening.

“Hey dumbass, (Y/n) went in here to go to the bathroom forever ago- what the fuck?!”

Kirishima pulled away from you quickly at hearing his other best friends voice. The two of you do your best to fix your state of clothes but the damage had already been done. You’ve seen Bakugou upset before but never like this. Never like this at the two of you. He looked broken and betrayed.

You face him and get up off the bed, “Katsuki, wait lemme explain!”

Vermillion eyes glare down at you in such passionate anger that you were almost terrified to say anything. “I think everything makes perfect sense to me. You two have been dating behind my back haven’t you.”

It wasn’t a question but a statement.

Kirishima responds first, “wait it’s not what you think, ‘Suki. We actually need to talk to you about something.”

“Tch,” he roughly pulls himself away from the two of you, “don’t fucking call me that. How long has this been going on, hah?! You really think I wouldn’t notice? You guys have been making go-go eyes at each other for years.”

“Would you please hear us out? And close the door,” you murmur, “everyone’s looking in here.”

Bakugou looks to the two of you and then behind him as his friends look on. Most people had dispersed or left so only your close friend group had stayed. Being the good and observant friends they are, Denki was the first to speak up.

“I think we’ll go somewhere else. You three need to talk.” And in his slightly drunk and slightly high daze, he and Sero managed to get everyone out of the doorway and out of the apartment. So now it’s just the three of you and open truth of the situation.

Bakugou roughly shuts the door and stands above the two of you. “So,” he huffs, “how long have you been dating?”

You can’t help but hear the hint of hurt in the last word he said. You want to reach out but know that it won’t help presently. “Ka- uh Bakugou, we’re not dating. We just, kissed and confessed our feelings.”

The ashy blond pouts and crosses his arms. “Don’t lie to me, dumbass. Shitty hair, is that really what happened?”

“Yeah dude, we really were just talking and then we kinda kissed and talked about our feelings.”

“What does that have to do with me?”

“Everything!” You had let your emotions get the best of you as you yelled at him. “It’s always been the three of us and we don’t wanna ruin this dynamic we have.”

Katsuki snaps back, “I get it. I would be in the way. Just, fuck, go be happy.”

Kirishima stands up and prevents Bakugou from leaving. “No dude, you don’t get it. (Y/n) and I came to an unspoken understanding:

“We can’t do this without you.”

With his anger subsiding, Bakugou was vulnerable. And in his state of vulnerability, Kirishima took the opportunity to cover his lips with his own. The ashy blond is caught off guard, but eventually concedes into the kiss. Something inside you stirs at seeing your two best friends kiss. It’s not jealousy, it’s contentment; like everything is finally fitting and working out.

When the two males part, their breaths are heavy as they stare into each others eyes. Kirishima speaks up first. “This is what we wanted to talk to you about.” He then tangles his fingers with the stunned in silence blond. “We think, no, we know that we have feelings for each other. But also-“

“We have feelings for you too Katsuki,” you chime in from the bed. “We couldn’t do this, thing, without you. I can’t imagine life without you two.”

Bakugou looks over to where you are on the bed, and his eyes soften. He can see the love in your eyes, a gaze that he’s seen you give Kirishima and maybe you’ve given those looks to him and he didn’t notice? Almost like he thought you wouldn’t have feelings for him, or that his red headed friend would feel similarly.

“Tch, idiots. How long have you,” he looks away as his cheeks start to tint pink, “had feelings for me?”

You stand up and walk up to the shy man, taking his other hand. “I’m not sure. I might’ve realized it when Eiji and I were cheering for you at one of your games… T-the way you looked when you noticed us made my heart leap. You were so happy and satisfied with that look on your face Katsuki. But I was confused cause by then I had already confirmed my feelings for Eiji so I- mmph!”

Katsuki ended your rambling and pulled you into his body. You had always dreamt and fantasized about what his tout and fit body would feel against yours, and it’s better than you could have imagined. Where Kirishima was soft, Bakugou was rough as he licks at your bottom lip and thrusts his tongue in your mouth. You accept him hungrily as your arms wrap around his shoulders. Your lips mesh so easily and effortlessly together that you can’t help but moan.

When the two of you pull apart, Katuski is back to his smug self. “You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that princess. Damn, so what now?”

The question doesn’t linger too long in the air as the three of you exchange glances at each other. “Well, we just keep doing what we’re doing. You know, now with kissing and hand holding and sex stuff I guess, hehe.” Kirishima laughs out as realization comes to all of your faces. To be fair, you all have already kissed and you doubt Kiri’s earlier hard on has gone down.

Being brave, you step up to Kirishima, grabbing his collar and pulling him into a lust filled kiss. You grind yourself on his torso, forcing him to put his hands on your waist. His grip on you tightens and doesn’t hesitate to lift you up, making your legs wrap around his waist. Behind you, you feel hands trail down your back sensually, stopping at your ass. You pause your kiss with Kirishima to whine at the touch, feeling Bakugou’s hands go down your thighs and over Kiri’s hands.

“Put her on the bed, Eijirou.”

The way he commands the two of you, the way how he growled that out right by your ear made your panties damp. Kirishima nods and walks you two toward his bed, gently placing you down. He works on getting your leggings off, slowly pulling each leg out to keep touching your soft skin. Once they’re off, you’re left in your top and lacy thong, unaware of how the night would turn out. The wet spot at your core doesn’t go unnoticed by the two males and Kirishima licks his lips and Bakugou starts palming at his jeans, hissing as he does so. “Is that for us, pebble?” He takes a single finger and slowly swipes it up your covered slit making your toes curl and a huff of air leaves your lips. “Fuck, baby you’re so wet. Katsu, you gotta see this up close.” He takes off your thong, brings it up to his nose for a long sniff, and stuffs them in his pocket.

You feel a new pair of hands graze your inner thighs, as a head of ashy blond is now seen between your legs. He breathes into your cunt and grins at your mewl, the sound going to his hardening cock. Without warning, his tongue dives into your folds, going in between kitten licks and deep thrusts of his tongue into you. Your jaw drops in pleasure and you can’t help but moan loudly. Bakugou pulls away, and grunts “Think you can shut her up shitty hair?”

You hear the red head chuckle to the side of you as he had already removed his pants and now his boxers. His cock springs free, swinging upward on his abs and already leaking pre-cum. The way you’re looking at him like a full course meal makes his dick twitch. “I can’t wait to shove my dick in your mouth.” You see a little bit of drool fall from the corner of his mouth and just seeing that turns you on so much. He moves to straddle you over your chest, careful not to sink down or hurt you in anyway. His ruby irises meet yours as he caresses your cheek, “is this okay?”

You nod, words failing you because Bakugou hasn’t let up on your pussy. Kirishima inches closer and sit up slightly so that your lips can finally met his warm and hard dick. You wrap your lips around the tip, your tongue flitting at his leaking tip causing the strong man above you to moan loudly. That moan caused a ripple effect from you sucking him harder and Bakugou’s tongue swirling on your clit, which made you moan onto Kiri’s cock. All three of you are beginning to feel extreme pleasure at once, almost as if everything in your lives was building up to this point.

You sink your mouth deeper onto throbbing cock, causing Kirishima to pant and curse. His hips struggle to stay still but your tongue, throat, and mouth are working wonders on him. You never thought he would be somewhat loud in the bedroom, but it’s making you love him more. You’re snapped out of your thoughts when you feel a slap on your inner thigh and but hear an extra one. The extra one you heard was Bakugou lifting his body just enough for him to reach Kirishima’s are ass and smack it. Just knowing he got spanked made you wetter.

“Heh, do you like it when I smack his ass baby girl? You’re gushing down here after I did that. Lemme do it again, yeah?” And you hear the sound of palm against skin and you taste more of him in your mouth after. Bakugou continues his assault on your pussy as your hips gyrate into his face, moans and cries muffled by Kirishima’s long and girthy cock in your mouth. Kiri moves his hand from your cheek to your hair and tugs as he chases his high.

He feels you whine something on his dick and smirk. “You gonna cum pebble? You’re gonna cum all over ‘Suki’s face while I cum down your throat? C’mon baby girl, milk my cock I wanna mess up your throat, ah fuck this feels good!”

Bakugou inserts two fingers into your aching pussy as he sucks on your clit. Your hips are moving out of rhythm as you feel the build up deep in your core want to explode. You suck hard on Kirishima’s cock as he moans above you loudly, filling your mouth and throat with his seed. As he comes down from his hard orgasm, you let out a pop as you let go of his cock. He removes himself from your chest and takes your chin in his thumb and forefinger, running his thumb over your swollen lips. “I don’t want you to spill a drop until he makes you cum. If any of it spills or you swallow it without permission, he won’t let you cum and I’m gonna punish you okay pebble?”

You nodded and he lets you go, realizing he hasn’t taken off your top. Kirishima brings you up to take off your top, giving you a look to remember his words just seconds earlier. He removes it and realizes you aren’t wearing anything underneath. He lifts an eyebrow at you and chuckles darkly. “You’re so naughty,” he growls as he takes a hardening nipple into his mouth. He sucks earnestly as Bakugou finger and tongue fucks you. You feel your orgasm getting closer and closer as Bakugou growls into your pussy.

“You ready to cum baby girl? You heard Ejij, don’t spill a fucking drop until I say.”

You nod vigorously, avoiding being vocal to keep your mouth full.

“Then cum baby,” he sucks on your clit harder, “cum for daddy.”

Your own orgasm rocked through you so hard you were seeing stars. You obeyed their commands and only swallowed after you were sure you were done cumming, holding onto Kirishima’s back tightly as your nails dug into it. Bakugou removes himself from between your legs, licking his chin and observing your juices on his fingers. He taps Kirishima on the shoulder and shoves his fingers into his mouth, catching the red head off guard. He moans around the wet fingers as his tongue dives in the valleys of Bakugous fingers. The scene before you was incredibly erotic as the to men didn’t break eye contact.

“She tastes good doesn’t she?”

“Mmm,” he releases with a pop, “fuck yeah she does, babe.” Your chest heaves up and down as you come down from your high, truly enjoying the moment between the trio of you. Kirishima lightly plays with your breasts still as Bakugou moves to the other side of the bed. “Get her on all fours. I can’t wait to fuck that mouth of hers.”

The two of you do as he says, and you get on all fours on the bed. You see Katsuki undress and you do your best to keep your dirty thoughts to yourself as you realize you are in the presence of two god-like looking men. You feel Kirishima smack you ass and you yelp out the sudden sensation. You hear him snicker behind you as you feel his hands knead your ass. The man behind you leans over you, hands trailing up your back and sides as he asks. “All of this is okay, right?”

Bakugou grunts, “speak.” He grabs your cheeks and forces you to look at him, “now.”

You nod at first, but remember that your mouth is empty. “Yes,” you pant, “please have your way with me, daddies.”

Wet lips attach to yours as you make out with Bakugou once more, accepting your consent. Kirishima palms at your cunt, making you clench around nothing, as his other hand reaches for his nightstand to grab a condom. The red head had no idea that he would need these anytime soon, especially with the two of you. Once the condom is on, he lines himself behind you, teasing your hole with his tip. At the same time, Bakugou lines up his aching cock with your lips, outlining them with this dick.

When Kirishima finally pushes in your eyes go wide. You knew he was big, but fuck would he fit? He moves slowly for you to adjust to his size and length. You pant wildly as he grips your hips tighter at how slick you are. Soon enough, he’s bottomed out in you and waits. He can tell you aren’t used to his size yet and traces your spine to comfort you. “You’re taking me so well, pebble. Tell me when it’s okay for me to move, okay?”

You let out more shaky breaths and then crane your neck to give him the most blissed out face he’s ever seen. Tears are building in the corner of your eyes, pupils blown out and your tongue lolling to the side as you tell him to move. And when he does, you never thought that fucking, no making love could feel so ecstatic, so euphoric. The feeling is overwhelming but you love it, it’s a good overwhelming.

You barely have time to moan because Bakugou shoves his needy cock into your mouth. He’s not as big as Kirishima so blowing him is going to be a fun adventure. You wrap one hand around the base and hollow out your cheeks as you suck him in. He hisses above you as one hand finds purchase in your hair. His hips stutter a bit when you lick a stripe up his cock from base to tip. A few pants escape him when you do that but what has him moaning more is when you lick and play with his balls. His grip gets tighter as you keep playing and messing with his cock and balls.

Meanwhile Kirishima is slamming into you, his balls hitting you with every thrust. You never knew you needed this but now that you have it you don’t want to go with out it. There’s one particular thrust he gives that makes your eyes roll back and stop working on Bakugou briefly. He tugs at your hair and you get back to licking and servicing him. Above you, you feel a hand on the middle of your back and a hand leave your hair.  You catch Kirishima whisper a “c’mere” and the sounds of lips and tongues melding together is heard. The scene is absolutely erotic and you are living for it. Having your two best friends, no lovers, make out above you almost makes you cum again as your pussy clenches.

Eijirou pulls away when your pussy clenches around his dick in order for him to whimper at the sensation. He starts pumping into you harder, wanting you two to cum for the second time. You have a feeling Bakugou is close because his thrusts have become erratic and he’s pulling on you harder. The pull of your hair and the way Kiri’s dick feels inside you is enough for you to cum.

You whine on Katsuki’s dick, seeing the tears in your eyes as his hips keep moving back and forth. “You ready to take my seed, huh pretty girl? I know you are, just look at you. Fuck,” he moans out, “you’re something else princess. Shit, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum. Unf, (Y/n), EIjirou, fuck!”

His cum fills up your throat, some of it spilling out the side of your mouth. You swallow what you can and release him with a pop. Your breathing is ragged as you admire the taste of both men mixed on your tongue. The hands that were previously on your hips go to your stomach and pull you into a strong chiseled chest. Kirishima rests his forehead on your shoulder blade as he fucks you harder. “C’mon pebble I’m so close, I’m so close. God you feel amazing,” he mewls into your ear. One hand goes to your swollen nub and rubs at it intensely. Your voice raises an octave as you practically scream in pleasure, the waves of your second orgasm hitting you without warning.

Kirishima pumps up into you faster after he felt you tighten around him. “Oh fuck, oh fuck I’m gonna cum (Y/n). Katsuki I’m cumming, I’m cumming! Ah fuck!” He holds you tightly as he pumps through his orgasm, speeding up and then slowing down as the both of you calm down from your highs. You stay impaled on his cock, enjoying the sheen of sweat between the three of you. Bakugou comes up to you and kisses you sweetly, carefully lifting you off of Kirishima’s dick. He takes a finger to trace along the outside of your face and then over your lips. He lays the two of you down on the bed, just embracing the moment. Kirishima gets up and shaky legs to take care of the used up condom. He throws it in the trash and then heads into his bathroom. When he comes back out, he hands Bakugou a towel and the two of them begin to tend to you and clean you up. “You did so well for us babe,” Bakugou whispers, kissing your cheek and wiping your right leg. Kirishima has your left and himself to clean up.

Once you’re all cleaned up, Kirishima takes the towels to the laundry room and returns with bottles of water for each of you. He slides under the covers, the top comforter replaced with a Crimson Riot one, and cuddles up to you and Bakugou. “So,” he starts, “does that mean we’re together? Like officially?”

Bakugou who’s facing the two you, with you in the middle, rolls his eyes and extends an arm out to the adorable red head. “Dumbass, I wouldn’t have done this if we weren’t. Now shut up,” his voice lowers, “she’s asleep.”

The diner is open

[xoxo-teddybear]

Besties - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader ft. Kirishima

Warnings: Fluff, Crack, Good Times, BESTIE VIBES ONLY

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Being Bakugou’s girlfriend, you had to get used to his jealousy. Even though you got used to it, you still chose to not deal with it and so you became close friends with the one guy he could trust. Eijirou Kirishima. Here’s how it worked out.

A/N: For the sake of the fic, Jirou and Kaminari are dating

So we all know how Bakugou and Kirishima’s friendship works but I headcanon Y/N (or this story’s version of Y/N) and Kirishima to have a friendship very VERY similar to André Harris and Tori Vega from the show, Victorious. Bakugou liked the fact that his best friend and girlfriend got along so well ESPECIALLY since he wouldn’t have to worry about other guys that Y/N would become friends with. He could trust Eijirou to stay just friends with Y/N and the friendship became ridiculously hilarious.

—

[Y /N] *Ripped Kirishima’s Red Riot poster* Oh Shit! *Runs to common rooms and hides in the crowd, casually talking to other friends*

[Kirishima] *Walks in* You!

[Y/N] *high pitch scream* Katsuki!

[Kirishima and Y/N] *Arguing*

[Katsuki] *Runs in* Woah, woah, woah! What the fuck is happening?!

[Kirishima] Can I talk to Y/N for a sec bro?!

[Y/N] I don’t have to talk to you about anything!

[Kirishima] Oh I think you do! *Picks Y/N up over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes*

[Y/N] Let me go! *swinging arms and legs around*

[Kirishima] Don’t make a scene, Don’t make a scene

[Y/N] Suki! Help me!

[Katsuki] *Laughing his ass off*

—

[Y/N] *Walking up towards Katsuki and Kirishima moving shoulders and smiling* Heyyyy~

[Katsuki] *Pulling in Y/N with one arm and pecking her temple* Hey babe

[Kirishima] What’s the big news?

[Y/N] How’d you know I had big news?

[Kirishima] ‘Cuz whenever you got big news, this is how you approach someone. *Backs up a little and re-enacts Y/N’s walk* “Heyyyy~”

[Y/N] I don’t do that when I have big news

[Katsuki] Do you have big news?

[Y/N] .....yes

[Katsuki and Kirishima] *Laughs*

[Sero] Yo Bakugou! We got extra training with Aizawa! Let’s go!

[Katsuki] Okay! Later Shitty Hair, See ya babe *pecks your lips and runs off*

[Kirishima] So what’s the big news?

[Y/N] *explains*

[Kirishima] Oh my chiz!

[Y/N] I know right! Ouu let’s go tell those guys over there! *points towards group of kids and begins to walk*

[Kirishima] Wait wait wait *pulls Y/N back* We gotta do this the right way *smiles*

[Y/N] *Smiles and Nods head*

[Kirishima and Y/N] *Walks up to group moving shoulders and smiling* Heyyyy~

—

[Kirishima and Y/N] *Chilling at the Kitchen Island*

[Kirishima] *frustrated with something*

[Y/N] Hey...Hey look at me

[Kirishima] Noooooo

[Y/N] Look at me

[Kirishima] *Sighs* What is it cuz I’m not in the greatest moo- *looks up at Y/N*

[Y/N] *Shoots Kirishima with Nerf Gun as he’s talking and hits him right in the middle of his forehead for the 6th time in a row* WooHooo!! Oh yeaaahhh six fa sixxxxx *does a little dance in her chair*

[Katsuki] *laying on the common room couch* BABBYYYYYYYYY

[Y/N] *Walks to Bakugou* You finally awake babe? What do you need?

[Katsuki] Can you get me some water? *baby pouts at her*

[Y/N] Heh, sure. *gets water and gives it to Katsuki*

[Katsuki] *Drinks water and goes to sleep again*

[Y/N] *Walks back to seat infront of Kirishima and gets hit with Nerf Bullet*

[Kirishima] WOMP! *puts two fist in the air in victory and then does a little dance*

[Y/N] *Softly laughs*

[Kirishima] Like that?

[Y/N] *Laughs and claps hands softly* Moreee

[Kirishima] *Laughs and stops dancing*

—

[Kirishima] *Busts into Common Rooms during Y/N and Bakugou’s movie night* GUYS I NEED HELP!

[Katsuki] *Pauses movie* Aren’t you supposed to be at Kiyoko’s Birthday Party?

[Kirishima] Yes! I’m supposed to be at her birthday party! I’m supposed to be her date for that party! And I’m supposed to like her! But I don’t like that spoiled girl at all! Not even a little *picks up pillow and hits the couch with it at every upcoming word* And I *hit* don’t know what *hit* to do! *hit*

[Y/N] *Offers out bowl* .....Want some Mashed Potatoes?

[Kirishima] No I don’t want any- .....Gimme da bowl *takes bowl and walks to other side*

[Y/N] Okay, why are you with this girl if you don’t even like her?!

[Kirishima] Because of her daddy *eats*

[Katsuki] Who’s her daddy?

[Kirishima] *Speaks with stuffed mouth* Hawks

[Katsuki and Y/N] What?!?!! Hawks?!?

[Kirishima] Mhm!

[Y/N] Oh my god, he’s the number 2 hero!

[Kirishima] I know that! You don’t think I know that? If that man likes me and thinks I’m good enough he could hook me up with a spot in his agency as an intern. Why else do you think I’m dating his grumped up, crazy faced daughter?!

[Y/N] *stares in shock* that is terrible!

[Kirishima] I know! That’s why I’m upset! *takes spoonful bite of mashed potatoes* ‘Cuz I know, what I’m doing is wrong! 😭 .....are these potatoes hand mashed?

[Y/N] Yeah, why?

[Kirishima] They’re lumpy

[Y/N] *stares in offense*

[Kirishima] If you gon hand mash em, you gotta get up in there! Get out them lumps! *sadly uses fork to mash up potatoes even more*

—

[Kirishima] *Banging on Y/N’s dorm room door at 4 in the morning*

[Y/N] *Tiredly getting out of Bakugou’s arms and opening the door* Kiri?

[Kirishima] Did you get my texts?!

[Y/N] Yes, why do you think I’m standing here at 4 in the morning?

[Kirishima] I’m tripping out Y/N! I’m tripping out!!😭

[Y/N] *sighs* Alright, just come in

[Katsuki] *Wakes up* Ugh shitty hair, whats your deal?

[Kirishima] *frantically walks through the door* Go make coco!

[Y/N] I’m not making coco! *shuts door*

[Kirishima] ARGHHH-OWWW *rubs his temples as he flops onto Y/N’s bed at Katsuki’s feet*

[Katsuki] Geez man *tiredly rubs face*

[Y/N] What is wrong with you?

[Kirishima] *hesitates* I-...I think I’m in love with Jirou

[Katsuki and Y/N] *Eyes go wide and jaws drop*

[Y/N] *slowly shaking head up and down*...I’ll go make the coco... *stares as Kirishima in shock as she backs up to the door slowly*

[Kirishima] *Mouthing “I don’t know” with distressed look and shrugged shoulders*

[Y/N] *slowly but quickly leaves dorm room*

*Timeskip - Bakugou, Y/N, and Kirishima are all sitting on Y/N’s bed with their backs against the wall holding cups of coco*

[Y/N] You think you’re in love?....With Jirou?

[Kirishima] ....I think so..

[Katsuki] Okay, what happened tonight?

[Kirishima] I don’t know..we were just in gym gamma, working together, all night, and then we took a break and she played music and started singing and I sang with her. Then she showed me a song she’s been working on and I offered to help and then she started singing again and she just looked so...pretty and sweet

[Y/N] Okay but dude, you can’t love Jirou!

[Kirishima] You think I don’t know that?! Kaminari is one of my best friends and I would never try and move in on a friend’s girl. Uh-Uh, I don’t play that way.

[Katsuki] Good! So just..forget about this-

[Kirishima] I CANT! ARGH-OW *distressfully rubs temples*

[Y/N] Well why can’t you?

[Kirishima] Alright, you see. Ever since I was little I could never hold my emotions in. I could never keep my feelings inside, even if I want to, I just can’t. I always had to be honest with myself and let it out. Or else I get wonky in the head! *Rubs temples*

[Y/N] Okay-

[Kirishima] I- *broken sobs*

[Y/N] Okay-

[Kirishima] Argh- *broken sobs*

[Y/N] *Rubbing Kiri’s shoulder* Shhh-

[Kirishima] I don’t even- *broken sobs and shaking head*

[Y/N] Shhh. Listen. I don’t think you’re in love with Jirou.

[Kirishima] You don’t?

[Y/N] No. You guys were just there..together..alone, late. And you were tired.

[Kirishima] Yeah..tired, we were tired. That’s true.

[Y/N] And you guys were listening to music and singing songs..and so you felt emotional.

[Kirishima] Yeah! I did!

[Y/N] But by tomorrow, you’ll be fine again!

[Kirishima] Yeah! I bet I will!

[Katsuki, Y/N, and Kirishima] *Slowly raises coco cups to their mouths to take a sip simultaneously*

[Kirishima] This coco is good!

[Y/N] *Nodding her head* It’s from Belgium.

[Kirishima] Must be why

[Y/N] *Nodding her head* Mhm

[Katsuki, Y/N, and Kirishima] *All simultaneously taking another sip*

[Katsuki] .....Shitty hair..

[Kirishima] ...Yeah bro?

[Katsuki] ....Get out so I can cuddle my girlfriend and go to sleep

[Kirishima] .....Okay bro

[obeiii-mee]

———————————-

To celebrate his birthday, I’ve done a few HCs for Satan because I’ve got nothing else planned for him at the moment and I’m still spending most of my time editing my last self sacrificing MC being saved post which should be out before Halloween. And I’m salty I missed Mammon’s bday event too but I do have something in regards to that waiting around in my inbox so I probably just need to start being more motivated lol-

———————————-

Satan, the Avatar of Wrath:

>The demon that has tried to sneak strays into the House of Lamentation on multiple occasions. Whether they’d be cats from DevilDom or the Human Realm, he would whisk them off the streets and let them loose around the house on a daily basis. It was living hell for you and the rest of the brothers because even the smallest of the kittens wreaked absolute havoc everywhere they went; vases and plates were broken, there were paw prints all over the place (including the ceiling somehow), most of Asmo’s make up was left in ruins after a particularly bad incident. Lucifer had to put his foot down after he found cat hair in his coffee one morning.

>His book addiction is also getting almost as taxing as Beel’s midnight raids. Most of his purchases on Akuzon are expensive, ancient, leather-bound books and scrolls and not only are they not cheap-he also buys heaps of them at a time which started taking a toll on the bills Lucifer has to pay. It’s unclear whether he’s doing it on purpose to spite his brother or if it’s because he’s genuinely interested in such old literature. Everyone else guesses that it’s a mixture of both.

>You let him drive one time when he was visiting you in the Human Realm. Thank fuck you had such a good car warranty because the road rage he feels when behind the wheel is real. Bro probably broke your pedals and gearstick with how aggressive he was being and that was BEFORE some asshole decided to cut him off really abruptly in the middle of a traffic jam. Mf lost it after that-almost forgot you were in there with him, he was about ready to turn people’s bones into mashed potatoes with how many times he intended to run them over once he had the chance. Never again💀

>Satan volunteers to be his brothers’ tutor from time to time, with the exception of Lucifer since the eldest doesn’t really need it and he would not offer his services to him in the first place lol. He figured it wouldn’t do him any good to allow his siblings to drag his perfect scores down with their disgusting, averagely low grades so he decided they would all need a helping hand. Mammon especially, who are we kidding? Ah, turns out he’s pretty good at it too, even if studying with him is a little scary every now and then (both him and Lucifer give off ‘doing homework with your dad at the kitchen table and crying while doing it because he’s yelling’ vibes, but them and their brothers-)

>He’s responsible for most of the paintings in the house. Ngl, he shows up every few weeks with some really fancy masterpiece that just got released and proceeds to hang it randomly around the halls. Most of his siblings haven’t noticed. Neither have you. And he hasn’t said anything. Every once in a while, you look up and notice some dramatic ass painting that you swear you’ve never laid eyes on before, and then you shrug it off and assume it’s always been there and that your memory is just failing you. Mammon has stolen a few and sold them online because it’s Mammon. They were always back by the second day or so though (can imagine Satan buying all that shit back from the black market Mammon was selling it on, lmao)

>I said this before, but he smells really nice. Like…firewood….and books…and just homely stuff in general. That’s it. That’s the headcanon.

>Secretly loves hanging out with his family. He makes it seem like he always has better things to do but he doesn’t want to admit he enjoys spending time with any of his brothers, and this especially applies to Lucifer because who’d want to be around that prideful prick, huh? But the fourth born is usually the first to start planning out things like movies nights and family gatherings and he seems so excited to do it as well. By that I mean that he gets proper into it and works really hard on a family date for weeks! Is not very outwards with his feelings but he’s really happy to see everyone having a good time when he knows that he put so much effort into it. Bonus points if you decide to help him sort everything out-

>(Mammon made him a cat-shaped cake for his birthday and it didn’t come out the best-at least not compared to everyone else’s-but Satan proceeded to eat the whole thing and didn’t even say anything about it besides a ‘thank you’. Mammon bawled his eyes out in your room afterwards but don’t tell a soul. Also, you found out Satan knew his brother spend like 8 hours in the kitchen trying to make the damn thing and that’s why he barely even touched the rest of the desserts just so he could eat his even if the cake itself looked pretty dreadful. Ahhhhhhhh-)

-K, I’m done now. I need more brotherly headcanons between the bros cuz it’s adorable——

——————————-

[renaerys]

37. For Blossutch 👀 can’t wait to binge read all of these lol -Star

37. “If you want to act like a slut, you can dress like one.”

T-posing for feminism.

This fic is part of a prompt challenge that is now closed to new requests, but you can read all the completed submissions here. Reminder that the challenge is to make everything SFW, so we’re getting creative here.

xxx

Dane Blakely was 140 pounds of protein powder in a five and a half foot body, and still he seemed to tower over anyone in his way. He’d cornered So-eun Park on her way to second period because he could not take a hint, and now there was no getting around him.

“I saw you with that loser at the Shankaplex on Saturday, don’t even try to deny it,” Dane said.

So-eun had her back to the lockers, but she held her ground. “Elmer’s not a loser, and it’s none of your business who I go out with.”

Rookie mistake dating the first guy who asked her out when she transferred to Townsville High School at the beginning of the year. So-eun had corrected that poor decision quickly, but Dane was one of those unfortunate guys whose parents had forbidden the word no in their house when he was a child.

“I’m just saying your standards have gone way down.”

“Oh my god, I’m not having this conversation with you.” She went around him, and he didn’t stop her.

“Yeah, fine. If you want to act like a slut, you can dress like one.”

There were not many people around to hear, and Dane didn’t shout it, but she suddenly felt a hundred invisible eyes on her all the same. Unthinking, she gripped the collar of her sweater dress and flushed. Her first instinct was to check the length of her skirt, and she flushed even harder, ashamed of her own weakness.

Her second instinct was to jump out of the way of class superstar Blossom Utonium, who’d been making her way down the hall with fire in her eyes.

“What did you just say?” Blossom confronted Dane, who immediately backed up…

…right into a T-posing Butch Jojo.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Dane whirled on Butch.

“The lady asked you a question, dude,” Butch said, still T-posing and taking up half the hallway.

So-eun was not the only person to wander over, curious about the confrontation unfolding at the Senior locker bank. From the moment So-eun stepped foot in these halls, she’d learned about the Powerpuff Girls, aka literal Superheroes walking among the mortals. Blossom and her Super sisters were known for interfering in fights and disagreements that got out of hand, since no one was going to go against a girl who could shatter your spine with a flick of her fingers. But Butch and his brothers tended to avoid getting involved in high school drama. So-eun had never even seen him more than twice since the school year started, and only then from afar. It was a big school, and he probably skipped more often than not. Not that she would know; she’d never exchanged more than a passing word with either of the Supers.

“All right, seriously. Get out of my way,” Dane said.

“Butch, don’t you dare. Not until he apologizes to So-eun.”

So-eun startled at all the attention on her. She didn’t think Blossom even knew her name. She was just the newest nobody on campus, one of a thousand students in the Senior class alone.

Dane seemed just as startled, and his gaze flickered to So-eun just staring openly over Blossom’s shoulder.

“Hey, I’m talking to you,” Blossom said. She had the audacity to snap her fingers in his face.

To Dane’s limited credit, it was easy to forget what Blossom was capable of when she came in such a pretty pink package and a mountain of red hair. “Take a number.”

He tried to get past Blossom this time, and she T-posed to match Butch behind him. The sight was so absurd that So-eun had to cover her mouth not to laugh at Dane whirling in between them like a confused dog confronted with stair guards on all sides.

“What is this?!”

“This is the part where you apologize for slut shaming So-eun,” Blossom said.

“Wow, that’s weak, bro,” Butch said.

“I didn’t!”

“Did that sound like an apology to you, Butch?”

“I think the fuck not.”

More students had gathered around to witness the bizarre turn of events, including Elmer. He casually slipped his hand into So-eun’s. “What’s going on?”

So-eun shook her head. “I think it might be justice.”

“I’m gonna be late for class, just—move!” Dane tried to duck under Butch’s arm, but he bent at the waist (still T-posing) and Dane only succeeded in smacking his head against Butch’s rock-hard tricep. He swore and ping-ponged back into Blossom, bounced off of her knee, and ended up on his ass on the floor.

“Butch, he’s fallen to the floor,” Blossom said.

“Should we help him up?”

“Unfortunately, we’re contractually unable to help unrepentant slut shamers.”

“So unfortunate!”

Dane, now red in the face and breathing hard from the stress, scrambled to his feet by himself. He frothed at the mouth. If Butch were anyone else, So-eun was one hundred percent sure he would have punched him. “Fuck you both.”

“Hey Blossom, is fuck you both Spanish for I’m sorry, you think?”

“I’m afraid it simply isn’t!”

“What a shame!”

The late bell rang, and Blossom didn’t so much as waver from her T-pose. She didn’t care that she’d be marked as tardy. She was not leaving until Dane apologized, and no one else was leaving until she did. Dane seemed to come to the same conclusion as So-eun.

“All right, Jesus Christ. I’m sorry, okay? Fuck.”

“I’m sorry for what?” Blossom swung open her T-pose and looked directly at So-eun, and so did everyone else.

Dane gnashed his teeth. He glanced around at all the other students watching him, recording everything on their phones, not a single person worried about the consequences of being late for class. Finally, he looked up at So-eun, and she squeezed Elmer’s hand harder. “I’m sorry…for slut shaming you.”

Butch whooped. “He did it!” He went in for a high-five with Blossom, and the smack sent a seismic ripple through the hall that rattled the lockers.

“He sure did! Give it up for Dane Blakely, everyone!” Blossom clapped, and others clapped with her. Soon the hall erupted into hoots and hollers of Congratulations! and You did it! as Dane stomped off even redder than before and people recorded his every humiliating moment on their phones.

Everyone dispersed soon after when some teachers came out into the hall to investigate the racket, and So-eun was one of them. When lunch rolled around and she looked around the cafeteria for Elmer, who’d promised to meet up, she found him waving from a table she’d never in her life have expected to sit at.

Bubbles scooted over to make room for So-eun in between Elmer and herself. “Hi, So-eun! We’re in the same block for History, right?”

“Um, yeah?” Of course So-eun knew that, but it was a big class and Bubbles was Bubbles and everyone knew her name like they didn’t know So-eun’s and this was just too weird.

On Bubbles’ other side was Boomer playing a game with Buttercup on someone’s cell phone, while Brick had his Beats on as he copied some of Blossom’s notes and ignored everybody. Blossom herself sat across from So-eun and smiled.

“Hi, I don’t think we’ve properly met. I’m Blossom.” She actually held out her hand to shake as if she weren’t one of the few people every single person in school knew.

So-eun let out a squeak that must have passed for hi, because Blossom smiled wider and elbowed Butch next to her, who was busy shoveling mashed potatoes into his mouth.

“Mmph,” Butch said, waving to So-eun.

“I’m sorry…what’s happening?” So-eun asked.

“Halo Infinite is happening!” Mike Believe, Wes Goingon, and Kim Chan slid in around Brick and Blossom. “Todd got the advance copy and he’s hosting this weekend!”

Brick looked up from the notes for that one. “I call dibs.”

Bubbles giggled. “You get used to it,” she whispered to So-eun like they were old pals.

What was happening was that her sort of maybe new boyfriend, Elmer Sgloo, had neglected to mention that he’d been close friends with the literal Powerpuff Girls since kindergarten, and now they wanted to welcome So-eun into their extended circle. As in, the definitely not a bunch of losers circle because it was the honest to god Powerpuff Girls and that was kind of a lot for one seventeen-year-old nobody to wrap her head around.

“Oh shit, you guys are going viral! Check it out!” Buttercup passed Butch her phone, which played a video of Butch and Blossom T-posing for feminism. “Who even is that loser?”

“Some chode,” Butch said. “Bane, or something?”

“No one important,” Blossom said as she leaned on Butch’s shoulder to watch the video. “Right, So-eun?”

So-eun put her shoulders back and popped a tater tot into her mouth, feeling like a champion. “Not at all.”

xxx

If you enjoy my writing, check out more of my fics on AO3, link in my profile. I’m currently updating Trinity House and The Alchemy of Us. Thanks for reading!

[agirlneedsgoals]

I'm in a weird place today. I'll cut this to spare you (there is brokenness, coveting, complaining, talk of writing, dinner menus, and babble about current and past tv shows).

Last night, I suddenly had skin crawlies. I haven't had it like that without some kind of obvious trigger in YEARS. Maybe a decade, even. It felt like things were crawling on my arms, my face, my hair, my neck, and my shoulders. I knew nothing was there, I couldn't help touching to try and brush it off but I knew better than to scratch like I used to. Yay for self-control! I had to take Xanax to be able to sleep.

I woke up this morning hurting from the top of my head down to my toes. I think it's how I slept but I didn't feel this way once at @clockwrkheart's when I was there this last weekend. I think it's their bed and her pillow. I covet.

I'm writing! In tiny drips and drabs but I am writing. It's not my own stuff. It's fanfic, which I've never been particularly good at but this seems to be...coming together? Idk. I currently have about 4000k on the one that's working for me now. I'm just doing what I can, I'll check it for pacing and character later. I inflict it on one of my bffs constantly, but she has to say it's good because it's in her contract.

Enh, nobody'll see it even if I post it cause it won't be here. 😁

I have our meal calendar filled for over a week! Proud of myself but I'm not the one to make it most of the time, either because I'm exhausted or I'm just...not up for it. *is broken* But I want to. Does that count? Here's my dinner menu:

Tonight: lemon-turmeric soup and sandwiches (why sandwiches? because we didn't get any good bread to dip in it because I was gf when I put it on the menu and soup alone can't keep my sugar up overnight)

Thursday: chicken apple sausage, mashed root veggies, miso orange green beans

Friday: tuna noodle casserole w/Caesar salad (the only quintessentially 50's recipe I eat; mostly because my Oma made it when I was little)

Saturday: shrimp scampi (okay sometimes idk what will be going with the main)

Sunday: spaghetti and meatballs w/roast cauliflower (frozen meatballs and dressed up jar sauce because fuck you that's why)

Next Monday: tostadas

Next Tuesday: garlic butter baked tilapia, sweet potatoes, roast squash, broccoli

Next Wednesday: chicken fricassee, mashed potatoes, spring mix w/lemon vinaigrette

Next Thursday: honey mustard salmon, golden carrots, broccoli, green rice

Next Friday: gnocchi alla vodka (I'mma make both from scratch, actually), cloud eggs, Caesar salad

Next Saturday: Italian shakshuka, garlic bread

Next Sunday: curried chicken salad w/good bread (that just means I want crusty Italian or French bread)

Nobody cares about that except me, but there it is. 😋

They mark the doors of elves in The Witcher, to mark them either as homes they need to raid or homes they have raided, when they're putting all the elves in chains. But they draw a little elven piggy and I shouldn't but I find it ADORABLE.

I got 2 lbs. of strawberries from Sam's Club. I'mma eat them all dipped in sugar. You can't stop me, I'm an ADULT.

I only watched like 3 or 4 seasons of The Vampire Diaries and I never watched The Originals. It's on my list, I just never got to it. But YouTube has been suggesting a ton of vids from them and some of it is SO WELL EDITED. Like these people should edit movie trailers because it makes stuff that I KNOW was blisteringly stupid, look good.

Oh, my God, the love story between Klaus and Elijah. Not in the incesty way, just in the true love brother way. Those two could break curses on each other, s2g. I adore it. And there's a Caroline vid that made me actually cry. AND WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME DAMON AND BONNIE BECAME BESTIES??? If I can't have them as a couple (I shipped them in the books, tbh), I want them as bros. 💕💖💕💖💕💖

Okay, I'm gonna stop this now. If you read this far, I owe you cookies.