#even cbs okay. FULLBACKS WHAT ARE WE DOING

[whitehartlane]

the club rly saw micky’s knee almost explode and said nah we’re good. on my life we’re going to see bissouma doing centreback shifts in december these guys are not real

[cadopan]

Arsenal’s player ratings for Arsenal vs Leicester City FAWSL Matchday 9 (4-0)

4 points clear at the top of the league is a massive way to be ending this week, after the glum results we were getting hit by. The team was more un-clinical than clinical today if we’re being honest, but Leicester did us a huge favour by keeping such a ridiculously high line throughout, they were basically saying “go ahead, attack the spaces behind our fullbacks with your speediest wingers” lol. Some big performances too which was nice to see.

Starting XI:

Lydia — 6/10. didn’t have a save to make all game, so it was good to see her get a feel for the grass again, but the important thing is that Manu finally got some rest after carrying the team on her back the last two games. Patsy — 6.5/10. pleasantly surprised to see her get a start (and Noelle getting rest), she did okay but she’s still raw so I can’t say I feel the most assured just yet. also likes to get forward aggressively, but doesn’t really do it in a measured way like Noelle does when she overlaps, and ends up caught out of position sometimes when the ball is lost, which is concerning. she got an entire 90 minutes under her belt though, so kudos to Jonas for that. Lotte — 6/10. good to see her back after an FA Cup final to forget, but still, giving the ball away too easily and too often. when is our defence going to get those sloppy mistakes out of their system? it’s good enough we aren’t being raided by a forward line like Barca’s or Chelsea’s, there is no reason to be making dangerous errors against a Leicester team that’s barely putting pressure on you. that CB situation is our glaring weak spot; Lotte is part of the future but even after Leah is back we need reinforcements in the next transfer window ASAP. Simone Boye — 6/10. i’ve said this before, but she is not convincing man. given that she’s a senior player with supposedly plenty of experience under her belt from Bayern and she’s a signing personally picked out by Jonas, i don’t see it. her ball control gave me mini-heart attacks at times and she isn’t an asset in terms of buildup because she doesn’t take risks with her passes into midfield or really know how to do anything except divert the ball to the sides. (and since the backline will inevitably be stuck with the most possession when playing against a congested low block aka most teams in the WSL, you can’t exactly be offering zero creativity as a CB when it comes to buildup play). edit: just re-watched the game, and she actually had a couple nice threaded passes to Parris so I was probably a little harsh on that buildup aspect. defensively still kinda suspect tho.

Katie — 6.5/10. meh, didn’t really affect the game but kept the left side pretty quiet for the time she was on so a rather ordinary, uneventful day at the office for her. someone needs to take her off free-kick duties though, what even was that mix-up with Jordan that they attempted? (after the red card.) Steph can take the leftie ones cause Katie’s set-pieces have been quite off for a little while now. Lia — 7.5/10. i thought all the midfielders had an awesome game today, and Lia was definitely taking advantage of Leicester’s set-up to spray long balls left and right. beautiful defence-splitting through balls and assured control of the midfield whenever the defenders looked a little shaky; great comeback from her performances in the last two matches. as the holding midfielder, I’m still divided between her and Frida, but if she can maintain the composure that she has in matches like today against good opponents as well, we should go with her. (especially since Frida displayed nice attacking prowess today)

Mana — 7.5/10. finally got her deserved minutes, and just like Lia, had a field day bopping passes in between and over Leicester’s high line, and especially came alive in the second half. robbed of a couple assists (looking at you Viv and Keets, lol) but still little moments of Mana Magic here and there as she turned defenders inside out and glided past them without breaking a sweat. although, she needs to get into more goal-scoring positions to offer more of a threat (she often plays too deep imo because she likes to receive the ball at her feet).

Jordan — 8/10. what a way to send a message, bravo Jordan. absolute standout player in the first half (have to say she faded a bit aside from the pinpoint assist in the second), and she completely made that midfield hers. every time she played a key pass or did something good i just chuckled to myself thinking how stupid it was making Jonas look for the way he disrespected her like that. hopefully that scene of her and Jonas having a shoulder hug is a sign of better things to come for Jords.  

Beth — 6.5/10. had a quiet-ish game like Katie, but that was nothing unexpected, given how hard she’s worked over the past week and also was one of the few who put in a real shift like Manu did against Barca and Chelsea. just happy to see her withdrawn early so she can get some rest in those tired legs.

Viv — 7/10. was almost going to give her a 6.5 there because other than her goal (which was a tap-in from five yards out), the sheer amount of chances she fumbled today stood out more than anything. balls were served onto a plate for her (multiple chances from exactly the same positions), and she could’ve had a double hat-trick today if she was feeling like it. concerning if we’re looking at today’s game alone, but not so much in the grander picture of things because she probably just needs to kick on after barely getting any service / doing mostly ball-chasing for the past two games.

Keets — 8/10. i know Jordan got MOTM “officially”, but i just want to give it to Keets personally because she didn’t truly reap the rewards of the insane amount of work she got through today. this game was made for her; acres of space for her to run into, which she did tirelessly and never did she look like she was gearing down, even at the very end! would’ve been icing on the cake if she just managed to guide her shot on target after doing all the hard work to round the keeper at that very last chance. 50th WSL goal definitely not far away though. and the way she literally o-u-t-p-a-c-e-d that Leicester defender before she was toppled yet again in the second half was brilliant to watch. her speed is a major major asset, plus she has the stamina to keep the engine going full match.

Subs:

Steph — 7/10. great stuff from Steph today; one of the standouts of the subs and the lovely crosses she’s capable of delivering were showcased for everyone to see today. BUT! i hope this game was truly a prime example to Jonas of why exactly she and Katie should never play on the same flank together: they simply offer the same things. Steph does well and can get creative combinations going when she plays with a winger in front of her like Mana today (later in the second half) who can drift inwards and give her the space she needs to overlap along the touchline. when Steph and Katie play together they get in each other’s way and it’s just a congested stalemate on the left side because they tend to occupy the same spaces with their similar playing style and attributes (crossing).

Kim — 6.5/10. definitely injected some life and passing movement into the attack which was kind of tapering off until the triple subs were made. good that we got to rest her for the next game.

Viki — 5.5/10. re: the CB situation written about above. good to see her come back from injury after injury, but what was up with those misplaced passes gifted to the opponents right in the middle of the pitch? might sound harsh, but i still haven’t seen why she’s in this team (purely performance-wise, idk about her personality etc) and we probably have to move on from her if we can.

Frida — 7.5/10. the Norwegians and their headed goals this week! love to see it. the way she attacked those headers with venom, put ideas in my head that she could even be converted to a no. 9 one day and be a proper striker. nice bounce back from her too after two weak performances in a row.

Teyah — N/A. not on long enough but showed a glimpse of what’s in store with that sliding challenge she made right in front of Lydia at the very end. promising stuff.

sidenote: was Tobin there? even the pundits were wondering where on earth she was. i’d really love a concrete update on her injury situation and possible recovery timeline, it feels like we got her for the briefest of moments and she was snatched away from us. am also uber confused with the way NWSL and the player rights system works so i wonder how long we’re actually having her with us. hopefully for the entire season (and potentially more!); she hasn’t even gotten to play at the Emirates and all yet, which must defo be the ultimate Gooner experience for her. 

Bonus:

Jonas Eidevall — 6.5/10. haven’t been impressed with him at all lately, but he did well with his selections today and pretty much all of them delivered too. can’t say anything on the tactics front, because even a child watching could immediately understand that all that was needed was to go long into the wide areas and you’re in on goal. i get why he didn’t rest Beth and Katie from the start, not wanting to leave it late then panic for the win and risk regretting it like Chelsea did, but surely Caitlin deserved some time today? not sure what’s up with that, given that she barely played much the past two games too.

Referee — 6/10. spot on with the red card and also the yellow cards dished out (why were the Leicester players unable to contain their tantrums and repeatedly kicking the ball away?). that was a red all day even if the shove on Keets didn’t have a lot in it (which it did anyway imo), if you send someone to the ground as the last player, out ya go. and sidetracking but now that i’m reminded we were playing against 10 players, 4-0 is quite underwhelming. double digits should have been hit easily, our finishing was poor. Overall: much more enjoyable watching this time for all of us, but it’s evident that fatigue and rustiness/off-pace tendencies are setting in. still, a professional job all in all that we didn’t look in doubt at securing that comfy top spot in the league, and we seem to be heading into a comfortable patch of fixtures until the end of the year. COYG

[godlymvmi]

rate each chelsea players seasons so far?

oh dear lord okay

- werner: 7.5/10. werner gets so much shit for no reason, he’s actually not had as bad of a start as rival fans love to preach on twitter/on here. even when he’s not scoring, 9 times out of 10 he’s THERE, he’s trying, hes pressing, he’s passing, he’s active. he’s so fucking fit as well, played the second most minutes for us so far and he’s bossing it. and i fully rate that, love him, we’re gonna see great things from him.

- havertz: 8/8.5/10. i cant give him a nine just yet i reckon. but bloody hell, he’s been so good. even when he makes errors, he’s tracking back to fix them, he’s intercepting, his fluidity on the ball is incredible to watch. at the same time, thats also the biggest probkem so far, he’s almost too graceful with it sometimes and he’s not the most bulky lad so he sometimes does struggle with the physical side of the prem, but that’ll come

- abraham: 8/10. he’s solidly impressed me. he’s come off the bench, now he’s starting, he’s seen his chance to show what he’s worth and he’s done it for me, he’s improved in every aspect we wanted him to. he looks so much more confident, hes still a bit clumsy with it sometimes but my god, he’s playing deeper, getting assists and goals, chefs kiss from me.

- ziyech: 9/10. and i refuse to say i’m jumping the gun. the mans passing is orgasmic to watch, his left foot makes me horny, like the man is such a fucking baller, i fully can’t believe we’ve bagged him. his corners as well, i could cry. the willian upgrade we needed, nothing more to be said, hes here and he’s perfect

- pulisic: 7/10. this is purely cos he’s now on injury again and he didn’t exactly hit the ground running right after he came back (which is to be expected) but he’s so so good. truly such a danger on that left side, i canr way for him to be back

- hudson odoi: 6.5/10. this is purely cos he’s barely played, but when he has he’s been a solid 7, he’s improved so much, he looks far more confident. he’s not perfect, he’s got a good way to go but he deserves so much better than to constantly be benched, he really should get more minutes for us and i hope it happens soon.

- giroud: 6/10. again, he’s barely played. i love him mate, i have so much love for oli and i think it’s unfair he’s being benched and coming on for a measly 10 minutes cos it’s not fair on him, whack him on with 30- 20 minutes to go. eden hazard said he’s the best target man in the world, he was one of the only reasons we made it to top four last season. deserves more

- kante: 6.5-7/10. irs hard to say, he’s not lived up to what we know he can do, he’s not been amazing and he’s had some matches where i’ve been begging for him to be subbed off, but lately it seems like we’ve found a way to go, i thought he looked so much better yesterday alongside kovacic, it’s too early to say but i don’t think he’s dusted just yet. i love him

- mount: 7.5/10. it’s hard with mason cos he’s had some absolute fucking nightmares but that’s down to poor management, no rest and being played on the wing. but look how much better he looks as a number 8, he’s a different player. i only want to see him as a number 8, i love to see it.

- jorginho: 6.5/10. i love jojo but he’s so wishy washy at times, but i truly love what he brings to the team. playing wise, sometimes i wonder what he’s thinking but generally i love him, every day i think about his “chin up” gesture to the younger lads and want to cry, he brings so much in so many ways. teaching silva english he needs to use on the pitch, telling lampard “i just want to win” when he was told werner was going to be out penalty taker. i could cry.

- barkely/rlc: didn’t play enough to rate but i hope rlc thrives on loan this season and i hope we recall barkely in january.

- chilwell: 9/10. insane. looks like he’s played for us for years mate, he doesn’t look like a signing we made this summer. absolutely insane. i hope he never leaves, he already seems to love this club and team so much, truly hope he’s our next ashley cole without rhe arsehole stuff <3

- james: 9/10. again, our fullbacks mate. reece has had at least one game i can think of where he wasn’t amazing but generally this man is everywhere, he’s attacking, he’s defending, he’s intercepting, he’s a stunner mate. his linkup with ziyech mate OOF. right back sorted forever

- silva: 9/10 and no i don’t care about that one mistake in his forst match, i don’t care. mans has changed our entire defensive look on the pitch. he’s made zouma a better player, he’s shouting directions at everyone, he’s just scored a goal for us, he already seems to love this club dearly. mate i hope he gets a contract extension, i fucjing love the man. so calm in the ball, for once i’m not pissing myself every time someone attacks. love him. love him.

- zouma: 8/10. underrated. but this man fucking works for us, every match. yeah, he’s had some nightmares and sometimes he very clearly panics whike in the ball, but he’s getting better every match imo and he’s learning from the best rught next to him. i love him, he’s always so happy as well, makes me smile. hope him and silva keep up this partnership

- christensen: 4/10 he’s just not good enough. i will die on the hill that there’s a good player inside of him, that there’s truly a good player there and sometimes we see it. but he’s not for the prem, watch him go somewhere else in europe and he’ll thrive. however, he’s my fourth choice cb, i trust him over rudiger any day.

- azpilicueta. 8/10 and ni i don’t care about your opinion. i miss him on the pitch, i cant even lie. i absolutely adore azpi. i truly love him so much and the work he does for this club, the heart and dedication he has for us. time and time again he’s saved us, i nearly sobbed at his celebration against ajax before they disallowed his goal. he’s so gracious and humble, made way for reece, and the man is still a good player. hope he stays forever and retires with us. and yes. he is a club legend.

- alonso: 3/10. man is abysmal. man is terrible. get him out of my club now. his attitude is horrid, he can’t do anything on the ball that chilwell can’t do better and truthfully, his time has come to leave. feel so uncertain anytime he plays, thank god he hasn’t in bare time

- tomori. 100/10. shut up. i love fikayo man. turning down a loan to west ham last minute to fight for his place, head down and attitude right. even now, franks said he’s part of the plans and i hope so cos i see a fucking class cb in him as long as he gets time, minutes and good coaching. i really see him as our third choice centre back, when we rest silva fikayo should be on the pitch. we’ve seen him and zouma link up before, we can see him again.

- emerson: 5/10. i don’t hate emerson, he’s just eh. he doesn’t do much for me, he doesn’t really stick out, he kind of blends in and is almost a bit invisible during most matches he’s played. he’s just eh. i don’t hate him but i certainly don’t want him starting every match ever and wouldn’t mind a new backup lb.

- rudiger: 3/10. i can respect this mans agent work to get havertz and werner to us but now it’s time to go rudi pal. i just don’t trust him on the ball ever, man terrifies me every time. he’s so shaky. i’m so glad we’ve not seen him pkay much recently, cos it baffles me that he’s being subbed on in the first place.

- kepa: 1/10. no. there’s nothing to say

- caba: 5/10. does the job, he’s not great and he’s deffo not my first choice but if mendy can’t start, he’s mt third choice.

- cech. pls play him frank. 1000000/10 <3

- mendy: 9/10. dont care about last night, he’s amazing. i wasn’t expecting him to come and perform the way he has but he’s been so so good. cant remember what it feels like to trust a goalie i just love himmmmmmm. such a good attitude and work rate as well

[fossadeileonixv]

WTF Early Returns!

A brief look at where we are 8 games into the season...

*KEEPERS*

The team has played 750 minutes this year and DONNARUMMA has played every one of them. 8 games. 8 wins. There’s no other stat that defines a keeper better. He’s the full package now and he’s 21 years old. Good lord. 

DONNARUMMA 2.0 has not played and neither has TATARUSANU

Anyone want to wager on the first time we see one of them start?

*DEFENDERS*

Up until yesterday CALABRIA was one of only 2 other players on the team to play every single minute of this season. The big question after the summer was whether the leap he took post break would stick. It absolutely has. He still has his moments but  he has been more consistent than ever. In a world where most teams hide guys at fullback, Calabria is a cut above. Crazy, huh?

DALOT got the start at RB yesterday to finally give Calabria a break. A tough spot considering he was to be matched up against a player we just loaned out in Diego Laxalt. I thought he played very well and stands to be a solid backup to Calabria.

KJAER is Danish for rock! I swear! ROCK!! In 9 months he’s gone from being a perennial castoff to becoming our best center back. Not the best CB on a mediocre team mind you, but the best CB on a team that has taken a huge step forward. There really isn’t much more to say than that.... Caldara who? 

Just 8 months ago Matteo GABBIA made his first appearance for Milan. At that point it was like Matteo who? Then after only a handful of appearances injuries forced him into the starting role. The result? Nothing but success. Here we are now 2 days after his 21st birthday and he’s made 16 appearances and has only lost once. Tall and strong but still just a little timid. Now let’s wait and see what happens with him now that R13 is back. 

After a 2 month injury layoff ROMAGNOLI was back for the Derby. A year or two ago that would have been a long 2 months. We might have won a game or two but otherwise it would have been a mess. Now? Now he’s surrounded by 3 rock solid starters. Let’s see if he can make the leap a 25 year old CB on a title contending team needs to make. Let’s see if he forces his way into the lineup for next summers Euros.

DUARTE made an appearance.

MUSACCHIO has not.

The only other player on the team besides Donnarumma to play every minute of every game is THEO. Why? Well we still don’t really have a backup. Also, he’s good. Really good. However the Theo train did hit it’s first bend against Inter last week. Hakimi shredded him. He went around him, through him and damn near leapt over him. That’s ok though. After a stellar first season he kind of needed a come to Jesus moment. Most importantly he was back out there yesterday and looked great. Great sign.

*MIDFIELD*

Ismael BENNACER might just be the best damn midfielder in Serie A right now. I can’t think of a single....

Psst....

Yeah? Oh yeah? Ok. Sure. 

Frank KESSIE might just be the best damn midfielder in Serie A right now.

Dude!

WHAT? Oh, ok. Yeah. You’re right. You’re right.

We have the best midfield duo in Serie A right now. Period. I’ll fight anyone that disagrees. TR said I have to. He has my back. 

I said in my season preview that the story of the season would be how TONALI adjusts to life at Milan and gets worked into the midfield. So far it hasn’t been THE story because we are winning so much but it is definitely the most polarizing subplot. Ok it’s the big story. He looks timid. He looks lost. There are moments he looks flat out in over his head. He played one year in Serie A and now he’s expected to contribute on a team that all of a sudden is whispering about title hopes. That’s a lot.  He’s 20 folks. Let’s just have as much patience with him as we did with guys like Niang and even Leao. Let’s not decide in less than 2 months that he doesn’t belong. He’s gonna be fine.

AND NO MORE FUCKING PIRLO COMPARISONS!!!!

Moving on....

As the offseason began I thought for sure KRUNIC was a goner. Then as the Tonali rumors heated up I thought for sure he was out. Windows closing tomorrow? Surely he must be gone. Yet here he is.... starting at AM in a Europa league group game.... and scoring? Let’s just not doubt Pioli anymore. Clearly there’s more versatility here than we ever imagined. #IPIT

This DIAZ fella is a whole lot of fun, huh? He dips here, he darts there, he nutmegs guys in the box.... and he scores. We’ve had all kinds of guys with sizzle. Guys like Saponara or Taarabt or Deulofeu. Fancy moves but no results. This guy has the sizzle and the steak. Diaz has both. Nom nom nom. 

After years of coaches putting HAKAN on the wings it took Piloi to put him in his best spot. Right in the middle. Funny since Giampaolo should have been that guy. How he saw Suso for that AM spot and not Hakan I have no idea. Explains a lot though huh? Thank God though. Hakan has all the confidence and freedom in the world now. Let’s see what happens when some adversity comes along though. I remain positive yet skeptical.  

*ATTACK*

I loved SAELEMAEKERS ever since I saw his first touch. If there’s one thing I’m a sucker for it’s a good first touch. He’s like a pasty Belgian Seedorf in that way. It’s hard to say exactly what his role is or will be and that’s okay. Can anyone explain exactly what Seedorf did? Not really... but that first touch was like sliding into a warm bath. Mmmmmmmm. Moving on. There’s time to sort it out. I’m also  glad to see the fan base has come around with him. 

SAMU my friend.... you were THIS CLOSE to being out of the picture. Things weren’t right after the most recent injury spell. Lots of flopping and complaining. Yesterday he again showed his strength. Fast. Good work rate and vision. Stick to the hard work and you’ll be okay kid. Let the frustration take over and there’s the door. 

The outside world thinks we’re ZLATAN dependent. We’ve played 4 games with him and 4 without him. We’ve won all 8. Are we dependent on his leadership and swagger? Yes. Do we need him on the field every minute of every game? No. The way the team maintains his energy and swagger without him out there is awesome.

COLOMBO.... Hmm... Hard to tell what we have here yet. Definitely looks like he belongs that’s for sure. No fear in his eyes. Also, he has a chance to learn from one of the masters. 

MALDINI... nice kid.

Ideally what happens during this season is that LEAO becomes the vice Ibra, REBIC becomes the regular starter at LW and HAUGE becomes the vice Rebic. 

As we saw in the Derby LEAO doesn’t really have the work rate to play that wing spot in a 4231. In that spot you have to almost be in 2 places at once.... tracking back to help out the fullback but also being up top to make runs. Without tracking back either the CB or one of the DMs needs to come over and help and that throws the whole formation off leaving gaps everywhere. Look at most of the goals we have conceded and that’s the root of the issue. That’s not Leao. I see his strengths more in his hold up play and ability to turn opponents and find passes. There’s your backup striker.

REBIC is the guy that will run you down like a dog, beat you up, steal your lunch money and then wink at your girlfriend as he walks away. That’s the guy we need on the wings in this system. Work hard but also have the class to finish. He would have certainly gotten his pound of flesh off of Hakimi. Count on it. 

HAUGE might not have the icy stare that Rebic does, but he carries some of his other traits. Hard work. Run you down. have some flash and dash to finish. That composure he showed yesterday when he finished off Celtic? get outta here.....

AC MILAN FACT OF THE DAY

Milan player appearances and goals by age: 

 ages 26-39: 21 apps and 5 goals 

 ages 22-25: 48 apps and 5 goals 

 ages 18-21: 51 apps and 9 goals

PIOLI?

When you have a coach that shows trust in his players and allows them to play with freedom and creativity the most amazing things can happen. Sure Pioli has a system but he’s also willing to try different players in different rules. He’s not so rigid to believe certain players can only do certain things. From that comes the kind of depth and versatility we haven’t seen around Milan since Carlo was in charge. 

#IPIT

Have a great weekend everyone.

See you all here Monday for Roma.

Cheers,

Lisi

PS: Brief lol..... you knew that was a lie!

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW2

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

—

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Easy save for me this week. Team is in good shape with no injuries. Haven't really spent a lot of time this week thinking about what I'll do with two frees next week so we'll see what the weekend brings.

GK:

Pope (ars)

Pope goes at the Emirates. Hoping for a 3 pointer with some saves and them getting reamed by Aubybaby. At Arsenal is right behind Livp and City for worst defensive fixture in my opinion so really not expecting much here.

DEF:

Alexander-Arnold & Robertson (sou)

I'll only be rolling three defenders this weekend.

Trent and Robbo get the nod again and feeling pretty good about it. Everybody bugging out about Liverpool defense has been a fairly hilarious thing to me. I'm still expecting cleans to come and I'm just preaching patience here. There are a lot of games to come and these teams aren't going to clean every week.

Maitland-Niles (BUR)

Ashley Maitland-Niles gets the nod again for me after his GW1 haul. Burnley didn't create shit last weekend, really, despite their three goals and I expect them to get bossed this weekend. As long as Mustafi is out of the team...I feel pretty good about this one.

MID:

Salah (sou)

Mo goes again. Nothing to say about that, really. Soton are still fucking bad defensively and even though Livp are playing their fair share of games early doors it should still be three points.

Martial (wol)

Tony M has another tricky fixture at Wolves so we'll see how he goes. Could be a tough day at the office for him up against the three CBs but at least I'll have someone going on Monday so I have some skin in that game. Still view Tony as a long term hold until proven otherwise so his place is very sexcure in my team.

Pérez (che)

Ayoze has a chance to redeem himself at the Bridge. Looks like Fat Frank is preaching goals goals goals and attack attack attack so there could be some joy on the counter for Leic this weekend. By no means a "good" fixture...it also doesn't seem "bad"...and hopefully Ayoze can muster more than the 0 shots on target and looking anonymous like last game.

Robinson (CRY)

The man the myth the legend Callum the Countymaker Robinson has Palace at home which seems pretty unreal good at this moment. We'll still be running Kelly and Dann at CB and should get bullied. It'll be a big game for CalRob as they have tricky fixtures on the horizon and this could be a spot I look to switch up with one of my early transfers. Okay CalRob I believe in you though lad so go out there and make me look like a fucking genius please.

Wilshere (bha)

Finally, JACK gets a run out in a squeaker I am playing him over Montoya this weekend. Pellegrini seems pretty dead set on him in the pivot with Rice while N0bz is still dead and I just can't see a Brighton clean this weekend if I'm honest here. Jack is obviously far from a great pick, but he did make a couple of nice runs into the box against City and looked to be getting involved in the attack as much as possible. Not expecting much, and this is another spot I could use a transfer on soon, but it's fun to start Jack because Jack is Jack.

FWD:

Aubameyang (BUR) & Kane (mci)

The two dongers up top, Aubz and Kane, march into battle again. Not much to say about these....great fix for Aubz...and Kane looks like a solid long term hold while fit. Will I keep Aubz for the near term and continue to go without Raz? tbd...

CAP:

Aubameyang (BUR)

I'll be rolling with Aubz and not thinking too much about it. Going with the home player with a good fixture and hoping Emery doesn't play the little babies this weekend and plays the men. My first time ever capping Aubz in my life here so let's fucking go Aubz make daddy proud.

—

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Off to a flier, easy save.

Worried about how I’m going to get to Kane, maybe a double move next week in for Son? But I have a few other worries in my team right now so all is not necessarily well in Team Alon.

GK:

Ederson (TOT)

Tough one for an Eddy clean especially with how West Ham were able to get some good chances last GW. I don’t expect a clean here but I would love a save point or two... Pen save would be the nuts.

DEF:

van Dijk & Gomez (sou)

VVD obviously get in en route to a golden boot this season.

Gomez is already very worrisome. The Anfield Wrap people calling for Matip to start because Gomez was dead tired after playing a million minutes at RB and LB in the Supercup... I liked Gomez having positional flexibility in preseason when I chose to start my team with him but little did I know that this would come back to potentially fuck me and he now needs rest like a fullback. God damnit.

Still praying he starts... We’ll see...

Maitland-Niles (BUR)

Lovely Ashley gonna come in with the clean, baps, and attacking return haul as is the norm for him.

Digne (WAT)

Digne feels pretty good here although Everton without Gueye and now without Gomes and Schneiderlin and Delph what the hell are they going to do at CM? Please don’t put Siggy there! Anything but Siggy in CM!!! Oh god this clean is fucked isn’t it? Here’s to hoping for Digne attacking returns...

MID:

Salah (sou)

Mo loves a ding dong vs. Soton they’re sorta his slump buster. I expect Mo to still ding but ~spoiler alert~ I’m not sure I’ll be counting on him as my captain.

Sterling (TOT)

Ez Raz ez life.

Pérez (che)

Ayoze should be fine but I’d like to see him more in the center of the pitch then shunted out wide getting chalk on his boots like GW1.

Hopefully Brodge goes with the not-super-defensive midfield this week and lets the lads express themselves... Although from a pure footballing perspective the defensive double pivot probably makes sense on the road vs. Chelsea... Ugh fuck.

Richarlison (WAT)

Richy boy was sorta quiet but sorta busy last week. People were telling me he was totally invisible and didn’t do anything threatening but I duno on highlights he did stuff and almost scored so I wasn’t too annoyed... Watford are easily one of the worst defenses in the division; they have not kept a cleansheet since February. I like Richy in the Rich derby / Marco Silva derby to get stuck in and score a goal. Come on Rich.

FWD:

Wilson (avl)

Callum got some points in the end last week and when he’s fit he’s always returning the points... Villa can be got at, this much we know, but we are not yet certain if they’re the levels of bad where you captain against them every week or if they’re actually pretty decent so I don’t know this might be a good test for each and hopefully a bounce-back match for Bournemouth.

Deulofeu (eve)

Gerry D worries me tremendously but if Gracia takes his head out of his Spanish asshole then he will realize that Gerry is by far their best attacking player and needs to be up top. So just drop Gray and fuck off please. Fucking hell.

CAP:

Wilson (avl)

Dilly-dallying on this all day on whether to go with Mo or give the armband to Callum and well the night is darkest just before the dawn...

My greatest fear with capping Callum is that Eddie Howe is a fucking idiot and he might run out some dumb shit like three centerbacks and play King on the wing again instead of playing the 4-2-2-2 that worked very well last season. But here we are I’m rolling the dice that his zipper will be zipped up to 11 and his buttons will be fully buttoned all the way to his Adam’s apple and he will not fuck this up royally against an Aston Villa defense that can be got at... Please Edward.

I fell off Mo after the Supercup not really because of him playing 120′ because he’s a fitness machine monster and minutes don’t effect him but more because of the disarray that will be the Liverpool midfield... Central midfield outside of Gini and Lallana all ran their socks off in 9000 degrees in Istanbul and I’m just worried about Southampton’s very intense press and Liverpool getting a bit overrun in midfield therefore limiting the distribution to Mo.

Also there’s a chance Liverpool take an early lead and Mo subs off around 60-70 which I can also see. And lastly Liverpool’s GK is a fucking counties journeyman no name and who knows what this does to the back-line and the midfield maybe everyone is going to play deeper. Just sounds like a mess to be honest and so I’m staying away this week.

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW1

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week!

WAHT THE HELL GAMEWEEK ONE IS HERE RELFANVLAISFBOVUB lkaeb!!!!!!

---

WALSH

GK:

Pope (SOU)

Pope gets the nod.

My body is ready for Hart in the GW1 sheet since there aren't many more weekends where a baseball cap is going to do bits in the land that lays so close to the sun moon and stars that is England. That said, Pope is fit and Pope is good. I am not thrilled with the fixtures early doors but I am going to go back to the Dyche GK well which has always proven to be point machines in the last few seasons.

I will remain faithful that Dyche is not a psychopath idiot and will play the better player here from the off. We'll see how that goes. 

DEF:

Robertson & Alexander-Arnold (NOR)

Robbo and Trent are my weapons of choice from the Livp backline. I found the .5 to bump VVD to Trent simply because I want to go with the high upside play. I can see sticking VVD in after the first WC for the long term stability but at the moment it seems like rolling the fullbacks is more fun and more sex.

Maitland-Niles (new)

As shouted on the pod, double barreled savage with a girl's first name Ashley Maitland-Niles survives the final cull. I have no confidence in Arsenal defense but given his attacking threat I feel like he's a good 5m pick. Couple of good fixtures to start and until Bellend returns from his fashionista vacation it looks like AMN has a stranglehold on the spot. Get the fuck in Ash.

Söyüncü (WOL)

Last friend is the umlaut machine Caglar Soyuncu. Guestjason put his xUMLAUT per 90 at approximately infinity to one so I need to back the boy. Binning slabhead and purchasing no one else means there is a 4.5 route into a defense that should not have a 4.5 option in it. Even though Brodge is attack attack attack...I expect them to be able to boss games to the point that they keep double digit cleans this season. The opening set of fixtures isn't tremendous, but he rotates well with my friends and so here we are. Wolves have multiple games and many thousands of miles to travel every week that I don't think it is that insane to think Leic boss this game. We'll see.

MID:

Salah (NOR)

Mo is in. Not much to say there so I won't bother.

Pérez (WOL)

Ayoze is stuck in my fucking lover. Could be one of those "season keeper" types that I read about in storybooks and fairy tales...

Martial (CHE)

In the 7.5m spot I made a late call on backing Tony M the glove merchant.

While I still like Lukash (Moura) as a little short term punt I just came to the realization while driving home from work today that if United are okay with binning Rom to fuck land without reinvesting it only means that they feel good with what they have going in attack. Tony is semi-oop and could just be a rocket. United are still good with good players even if their manager is a wee hobbit fuckface who doesn't really have the credentials to hold his job.

I think in spite of him it could be a bumper year for Tony and I'm happy to start here and see how it goes. Goals have to come from somewhere and it might just be here.

Robinson (bou)

Finally, much like my blurb - if you can even call it that - on Mo...same sentiments are echoed with Callum "the countymaker" Robinson. Best mid in the game, easiest pick of my life.

FWD:

Kane (AVL) & Aubameyang (new)

Kane and Aubz are up top and ready to fuck. Couple of good guys who I like and seem like pretty safe picks. They aren't nearly as good as CalRob but they'll do. As mentioned on the pod if one goes pear shaped it's either an easyish swap to Kun or an easy double swap to Raz...tbd.

BENCH:

GK: Woodman (ARS)

Frederick Woodman get the fuck in there. Side game of fantasy championship team is in full flow with this boy. Realistically he won't drop in price and he makes me laugh. What more from a 4m gk could one ask for? I don't know.

DEF: Montoya (wat)

Montoya also survives the cull despite my best efforts otherwise. He's got some good opening fixtures and while I am not disillusioning myself that Brighton defense is good, he is an OOP wingback and cheap as chips. The American Express Card Arena is still a tough place for teams to go play and with his attacking intent seems a good rotating option for home games at the off.

MID: Wilshere (MCI)

Jack! Jack is love, Jack is life. Get. The. Fuck. In.

FWD: Wickham (EVE)

I fucking love Wickham and I genuinely think he is much better than Benteke. I don't think it's insane to think that he gets the nod over Benteke somewhere around GW7 when Benteke is on 1 goal off 8.4xG. Come to me Connor.

CAP:

Salah (NOR)

I'm joining the herd and rolling with Mo. He looked like an electric factory in the last preseason game and Norwich are fucking bad.

---

ALON

GK:

Ederson (whu)

Ended up following my logic and a lot of my picks from the last pod.

I still get that warm fuzzy feeling from a premium keeper and with Pope’s bad fixtures to start (and coming off injury) and City’s backline a complete toss-up it feels ok to me to have the only actual 100% nailed guy in Pep’s bald head...

DEF:

van Dijk & Gomez (NOR)

I maintain that Gomez is first choice and it’s his spot to lose.

Walsh’s points about premium defenders and where the actual value lies hit me and I think getting a potentially nailed on 5.5 piece of Liverpool defense is too tasty to turn down... It’s not that sweaty hot passionate sex of a Trent & Robbo double up fogging up your car windows but it’s kinda safe and kinda great. Maybe for me safe is good in GW1 because usually every transfer I’m drawn towards during the season is very unsafe if that makes any sense...

Digne (cry)

Easy and phenomenal pick... I’m still worried about the middle of the pitch without Gueye but at least they bought some replacements unlike some other teams.

The attacking returns should fly and Iwobi and Kean make the team better and I’m just excited about the business that Everton is getting done in this moment.

Maitland-Niles (new)

Hell fuckin’ yeah. Ashley is in there and rotates extremely well with the aforementioned by Walsh backgammon playing coffee drinking umlaut machine on my bench.

Arsenal made their team better this summer and Luiz is instantly their best CB and a massive upgrade. I don’t think they can possibly be as unorganized and wobbly as last season under Emery and especially so when Tierney eventually gets in there... Come on AMN.

MID:

Salah (NOR)

Duh easy, the best attacker in the league and in the game.

Sterling (whu)

Also duh easy the second best player in the game and on the best team.

Pérez (WOL)

Alsoooooo duh easy the trendiest pick in a long time in the FPL community. Seems like the towers simply underpriced him and moving him to MID made no sense. He’s in pretty much every team I see on our Slack and elsewhere too. Great pick.

Richarlison (cry)

After all these weeks of tinkering thousands of different teams in and out and all over the place I ended up back on Rich.

*Shrugs*

He’s a real good guy, I’ve always liked him and I’ve owned him a lot of his Prem career.

The fixtures are obviously absurd and now they have a guy who can pass the ball in Iwobi which should make the whole attack function better and they have a guy who can score goals in Kean which also should make everything better... Up against Joel Ward for GW1 just feels fantastic. Let’s go Richy!!!

FWD:

Wilson (SHU)

Simple and good and safe pick. When he’s fit he’s just a really good player.

Also with the huge captain GW2 dilemma I’m looking at Wilson... It’s away so not ideal but it’s away Villa soooo yeah. I’m interested.

Not really sure why Callum’s not rumored to be transferred all over the place every summer (maybe because of the injuries) but he’s just very good. I love the first two fixtures for him and then I’ll probably get rid. Maybe to <3 Haller <3...

Deulofeu (BHA)

You can imagine my delight when Gerry was passed fit and ready to fuck...

I really think he’s by far the best 6.5 or under forward to start with when you combine his qualities and Watford’s fixtures.

The first four are great and that combination of fixtures and quality doesn’t exist at this price bracket... He’ll probably become Jota or some 6.0 emerges and he becomes that when his fixtures turn but for now I feel great about this spot. Flat track bully Gerard Deulofeu.

BENCH:

GK: Woodman (ARS)

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? I cannot say it better then Walsh has already said it so I’m copy and pasting from above, “Realistically he won't drop in price and he makes me laugh. What more from a 4m GK could one ask for? I don't know.”

DEF: Söyüncü (WOL)

Soy boy was my first instinct after Leicester didn’t get a CB to replace slabhead with... 4.5 pretty nailed CB on a top 6ish defense? Yeah, I’m in. Love the pick. And he rotates really well with AMN.

MID: Hayden (ARS)

He’s kinda good. Dendoncker can fuck off.

FWD: Wickham (EVE)

Gotta support my pod partner and hope that Wickham usurps Benteke sooner then later.

CAP:

Salah (NOR)

When every manager in the world goes for the same player it’s for a reason. Every person who shits on Mo and hates Mo on twitter crawls back into their desk chair and throws the cap on the boy. Get. In.

I decided not to triple cap not really because of the DGW that Liverpool will have in the first half of the season but more because, and credit to Walsh for pointing this out, Mané is not nailed for GW1 and I don’t like that... 

I didn’t bother looking at numbers of with Mané vs. without Mané because the sample size is too small it’s irrelevant to me but I do know that if Origi starts GW1 then Liverpool’s attack as a whole will not function as well as it would with Mané. We saw how anonymous Origi was vs. City in the Comm. Shield and how City were able to basically triple team Mo every time he had the ball. So I don’t like that.

But for cap it’s still automatic. And with that... Here we gooooooo!!!!!