#even I got an ask about my canon being a crap even though I've never shamed anyone and their ship

[turkawkas]

If new photos of Cerys and Ciri appear, people will have zero complaints and a lot of admiration. And if a picture appears with Roche and Ciri, then there will only be thousands of indignations, doubts and nasty things, because their ship must prove its right to exist, it simply cannot exist, no one believes in it.

It shouldn't be like this.

There's so much space for everybody and their ships on the internet. I don't understand why would someone shame the other person for having a different ship, like come on people, be nice to each other.

You don't have to love a certain ship or even like it, so just don't comment on it. Everyone can love and like different things and that is totally normal.

This is my opinion on the whole "war" that started about shipping Ciri with Roche/Cerys or other characters. If you don't like it, just don't care and don't shame others. It is not that hard to not click on the keyboard lol

Thanks for the ask and I hope people will be nicer to each other in the future 💙

[superwavesmasher]

My Fanon for my Fics - Cye's HC

Soooo here are my Cye head canons. There will probably be a second post because I've got so many.

In my fics, Cye's the youngest. It goes Sage, Rowen, Kento, Ryo and Cye

The boys ages run from 17-19. *shrug* the art style didn't make them look like kids and it always bothered me. Soooo I moved stuff up a bit.

Cye's mother is from the UK and his dad is from Japan. His father is in the navy (or Japanese equivalent) and was shipped around to different places. He meets their mother on his first station in the UK. Then he was moved back to Japan. 10 years later he was asked to move back to the UK which is where Cye was born.

Cye's father dies right after he gets the armor. His mother blames Cye for not being able to save their father even though there was no way he could have known or done anything about it.

Mrs. Mouri runs from being waaaay too helicopter over her precious son to being that toxic helicopter. Where he's gaslit into believing stupid things. (I thank you perfect fanfic writer from early 2000s for these headcanons because I live for them)

One of the main thing she gas lights him on is being weak and that his sister should have found the armor maybe then their father would have been alive.

Sayako is a protective spit fire of a woman who looks like the perfect house wife until she opens her mouth. She's learned the proper way of the Japanese wife but when prompted can just lose it and will beat you for touching her brother. She can also drink anyone under the table. Kento may or may not be terrified of her and she loves it. She was convinced that Kento was going to get her brother's heart and is in shock when it winds up being Rowen.

Sayako doesn't take her mothers crap and will throw it right back into her face.

Out of the 5 armors, Torrent has to regularly be "recharged" and taken to the ocean to retain it's power. If Cye or the armor is away from water too long it can negatively impact his health.

Because of this Cye worries that he's the weakest warrior out of all of them when we know it's not true.

The armor is always trying to push Cye back towards the water even when it's not healthy for him to do so. (big in my POTS universe).

Torrent is the armor that connects the other 8 to each other and holds them together in a bond. Without Cye or Torrent the team would fall apart and could turn evil very easily (actually have a fic written off this). Basically the others have to keep him alive above all else but the ancient forbids Cye knowing about it.

He has the stuffed whale named Suki and it's the size of a large teddy bear and it goes EVERYWHERE when they are spending the night. Kento doesn't blink an eye and just talks to it like he's a real thing.

Cye also has a slight addiction to squishmellows and sea creature stuffed animals. He has a killer whale plush that fills up the entire love seat in his apartment.

He has normal pajamas and slippers but he owns a few one piece shark, killer whale and dolphin pajamas. He'll never admit to it out in public.

Because of his mother and the fact that he couldn't save his father, he feels like he's a disappointment and so he never shows how he truely feels to anyone except Kento at first. He hides when he's hurt and refuses to worry anyone else to the point it gets ridiculous.

He loves baking (just like actual fanon) but can make beautifully decorated pies, loafs, etc.

He loves cooking just as much. He will use recipes and has so many books but also makes his own up and they rarely fail.

He has a sky blue checkered apron with a killer whale on it that he stitched all by himself.

While he doesn't always show it, Cye loves being witness to drama and will sit and nod politely acting as if he's caring but is only taking it in to spill to Sayako later. XD

He's more jealous than he comes across and can be a bit of a brat sometimes. Kento knows this and warns everyone else but no one believes him until they get to NY and Cye basically kicks Runa/Luna down the stairs after she gets too close to Rowen. ("So sad." He looks back not wincing at the crash before smiling innocently, "Anyway, we're going to find Mia and Yuli in Little Tokyo"

He's addicted to tea. He needs it and pouts when he doesn't get it or can't make it.

He loves to host people and have proper tea. He's very knowledgeable about it across the board for the world wide practices as well.

His favorite TV Show is Midsummer Murders and he forces Rowen and Sage to watch it.

He's also a disney fan and loves the movies. (Little Mermaid is his favorite, obviously)

He will nag the hell out of you with anything you are doing. He's the equivalent of a back seat driver x 10000.

I have more but these are off the top of my head XD. @kosmicpowers (tagging because you said you were excited to know more. The other guys are coming soon.)

[aamy2100982]

Just my realization that I've been in the Venom fandom for almost 5 years now. Not really important.

Since 2019 my perception of time has been completely ruined by the pandemic and sometimes I forget that I've been in the Venom fandom for 5 years now and I can no longer consider myself just a poser who came in because I saw the movie and liked the symbrock, because now I also respect the characters as... characters and not just as a drawing for my entertainment and romantic fantasies with parasitic aliens.

This reality check came to me when I realized that I am capable of holding entire conversations about Venom and even referring to specific comics by giving an example in great detail and sometimes the name and volume of it.

This surprises me, because never in my life had a character caught my attention for so long. I'm clearly not the right person to ask for advice or recommendations regarding "where to start reading comics", but damn. What have I become?

Because the time I tried to leave it behind (when I got into the TF2 fandom) I still came back a while later, even though I hate most of the stuff that happens in the current runs and I don't really enjoy the content that's uploaded about them these days, I feel compelled to watch it all, like a toxic relationship, I swear to god, it makes me physically sick and I still don't leave it. (don't take it so seriously, I'm just joking xd (a little (maybe not so little)))

Besides having spent an unnecessary amount of money on a collectible figure, damn, that shit cost me more than I'm proud to admit and I still don't regret it xd

And I say this because I want to emphasize how this has affected (I don't mean this in a bad way) my daily life and not just my life within social media. That's a big deal, because I usually think to myself, "I'm sure I'll forget about this in a couple of months, so I'm not going to waste my money on nonsense." (5 years and still going on nonsense)

Whatever. Whether this is just a phase or I stick with this for the rest of my life until I make a custom Venom-themed gravestone for myself, I'd say these past five years have been great. The Venom fandom, at least here on Tumbler, has been great, and I look forward to continuing to enjoy the canon crap that's being published in recent times and what is coming :b

[crashdevlin]

A New Life

Author’s Note: This is part Thirty-one of The Best Laid Plans series

Summary: Y/n is living her best life, far away from the hunter lifestyle. But what she can't remember can hurt her.

Pairing: none

Word count: 4270

Story Warnings:  angst...A/B/O dynamics, canon divergence, reader illness, reader amnesia

~~~~

"Lunch?"

Your colleague's words prompted you to look up from the Sumerian text you were working on and check the clock on the wall. 12:43 and counting. You got so lost in the work that you almost worked through. You were suddenly painfully aware of your stomach's empty grumbling and could no longer ignore it. You stood, pulling your gloves off and tossing them in the recycle bin beside your desk.

"Wonderful idea, Mariella. I was about to forget to eat again."

"I've noticed your tendency to hyperfocus if you don’t have someone break your concentration. It's really not good for you."

"Oh, I know. My Uncle Bobby used to give me crap about it all the time," you said, thinking fondly of the old redneck. "He'd toss bags of chips at me in the middle of my study sessions so I'd eat something."

"That's the uncle that raised you?"

"Yep. The whole reason I went into anthro and archeology. He had a whole study filled with old books on ancient civilizations. Kicked off my interest.”

“He also the reason you’re a thirty-year-old virgin?” Mariella asked flippantly.

“I told you that in confidence,” you responded, looking around to see if anyone was about to hear that. “And no, that was my dad. He made me promise I wouldn’t sleep with any of the redneck guys in my hometown or any of the guys in the salvage profession. Kinda like Bruce Willis in Armageddon, he didn’t want his daughter with a guy like him...same for my dad.” You cleared your throat as you pulled open the door into the main museum. “And I’m twenty-nine, thank you.”

“For a few more months,” Mariella said with a smirk.

“Why do I talk to you?”

“Because everyone else that works here is as ancient as those books you like so much.”

“You’d think I’d like them more, then,” you mused.

“The more important question is how you got through college without getting any.”

You shrugged. “I was busy, focused. I never went to frat parties or any of that...and I spent my heats in the vault to prevent bad things. Just never found anyone worth losing it to, ya know?”

Mariella shook her head. “It’s really not a big deal.”

“I know that...which is why I’ve not been in a big hurry.”

“But...aren’t you on a bit of a time crunch? You are an omega,” she said pointedly.

You scratched at your neck as you walked across the lobby toward the small kiosk that sold sandwiches and coffee. “I’m sure I’ll find an alpha before I die.”

“Are you looking for one?”

“What is your interest in my love life?”

“Well...you know my brother’s an alpha, right?” You rolled your eyes. You weren’t interested in being set up with anybody’s alpha brother. You’d know your truemate when you met him. “He’s a good guy. You’d like him.”

“This is the same brother you said was dumb as a box of rocks a few days ago?”

“No one’s perfect.”

You shook your head. “I’m not interested, really. I’ll find someone.”

“Not hiding in your office, you won’t.”

“I go out sometimes,” you argued.

“You’re mated to this damn museum and you haven’t even been here a year.”

“Then you must be the woman with whom I need to speak,” an accented voice behind you said. You turned and smiled at the bearded man in the black suit. You didn’t know fashion but the suit looked expensive, the tie was a beautiful black patterned silk. His outfit screamed money and power and his scent screamed alpha. You were a bit shocked that you hadn’t smelled him approaching, but you chocked it up to Mariella distracting you. “You’d be the one who knows about the collection, yes?”

“Which collection?” you asked, stepping away from the food cart to smile at the man. “That’s a bit of a superfluous question, though, as I know about all of the collections. I’m the curator here. Y/n Y/l/n.”

“Fergus MacLeod, it’s a pleasure.” He offered his hand to you and you took it. “I have a few pieces that might go well in the Mesopotamia exhibit.”

“You...have Mesopotamian artifacts? In a personal collection?”

“Several.” He smirked as he patted your hand, and it made you feel uncomfortable, so you pulled your hand away. “Why don’t we go discuss this somewhere quieter?”

You ran your fingers over your hair and nodded. “Just give me a few moments to track down the Assistant Director of Acquisitions and then we can go to my office.”

“Why would we need the Assistant Director? Aren’t you the curator, Miss Y/l/n?”

“Yes, I am. However, policy dictates that I not create a contract with an alpha without a beta witness. Prevents accusations of impropriety.”

“Ah, they’re afraid I’ll use the Voice on you to get a better deal?”

“Exactly. I’m glad you understand. I’ll be back as soon as possible, Mr. MacLeod,” you said walking away in the direction of the offices.

As you explained the situation to David Sherman, the Assistant Director, you got the feeling you'd met Mr. MacLeod before. His voice seemed so familiar...and that smile.

“You okay?” David asked as you walked back toward the lobby. “You seem a bit distracted.”

“Oh. You ever get deja vu?” you asked. He shrugged and you smiled at him. “You know what? It’s not a big deal. Everybody feels it sometimes.”

“She’s just feeling her omega scratching at her brain,” Mariella said, falling in step with you and David.

“This kind of thinking is why I’m forced to engage David in all contractual agreements with him."

"What? Is the guy not attractive? I think he's attractive. With that accent...and that smile, and those eyes!"

"Mariella...he's not my type."

"And what is?! You have shown no interest in any guy the whole time I've known you!"

You stopped in your tracks and looked at her. "Tall, dark-haired, handsome…" A flash of green eyes and a bright smile entered your mind. "I'll find one eventually. But for now, I have work to do. I can focus."

"Fine. Focus…'til you die."

You rolled your eyes and started rushing toward the lobby.

~~~~

"We'll find her," a deep, soothing voice said.

"Yeah? I'm starting to doubt that. It's been a year-" Another voice argued.

"Ten months."

"Whatever. Death ain't talkin' and I can't find any trace of her past 2002! And Sam keeps givin' me crap about looking, like I don't know we got more important shit with the damn Leviathans, but...Dad, I can still feel her."

"Me, too. It means she's still alive and-"

"And we can't find her!"

"Which means that Dick Roman can't find her either. She's safe, Dean. We'll find her...but maybe Sam's right. Maybe we should let her stay oblivious until we're done fixing Castiel's fuck-up."

"I can't...what if she eats at Biggersons? She doesn't know!"

"We can't worry about that!"

"That's all I can worry about!"

"Well, worry about the world that Dick Roman is going to eat!"

"My omega is lost and she doesn't know what's happening in the world and I don't know where she is!"

"She's not your omega, Dean," a third voice said. "You never marked her. You refused. Always. So maybe she's flourishing wherever Death put her. Maybe she's happy and ignorant and she's found a normal alpha like she was supposed to."

"We were doing good until Death came in and-"

"You were always good for a few weeks at a time, but she was on her way out anyway. She was done with you. She was done with us. That's why Death took her. So leave her alone."

"Dad...I...I just want her back."

"We'll find her and you can apologize and hope she hasn't moved on, but for now, Dean, we need to focus."

~~~~

You rubbed your eyes as you sat up. Your dreams were weird. Your dreams had been weird since you moved to DC. You hadn’t seen Dean or Sam in decades, but your dreams frequently featured them...usually just their voices...and their father's. Lately, they were always talking about Leviathans, but before it was someone named Crowley, and someone named Eve. They often talked of ‘Castiel’. These were names you didn’t know and you weren’t sure where your brain came up with them.

Part of you wanted to call around to some of Bobby’s old contacts and try to find out where the Winchesters were. They were in your dreams a lot. Maybe it was a sign. But...you just couldn't...bring yourself to make those calls.

But you did avoid eating at Biggersons...and you eventually stopped eating anything with processed sugar...and before your birthday came around, you were living out of the produce aisle. Mariella gave you shit about being a 'sudden vegan' but you just ignored her. You didn't feel safe eating processed foods anymore, but you couldn’t tell her that it was because of your dreams.

Of course, that went out the window when the dreams changed a few months later. What was once disembodied voices you attributed to the Winchesters was suddenly full color images. Well, 'color' wasn't quite right because everything seemed to be shades of blue and grey but...pictures, nonetheless. Pictures and emotions. Adrenaline, fear, anger, despair. After a week of waking up in a panic, knowing the monsters were right behind you and that sleeping wasn't safe, you started avoiding sleep like the plague.

"You look like crap. When's the last time you slept?" Mariella asked, leaning against your desk. You hadn’t even noticed her walk in.

"Got a few hours last night. I'm fine."

"You are not. You had a burger delivered for lunch. You're having some major issues, lady."

"You thought I was having issues when I stopped eating meat. I'm beginning to think you're just a bit judgmental, Mariella."

"I'm worried about you. I really think you should get checked out."

You sighed. It wasn’t a bad thought. You were exhausted all the time and having horrible nightmares...and random pains in your lower abs, which seemed to come more often as time passed. You nodded and gave her a tight smile. "Okay. I'll give my GP a call."

"Thank you," she responded, a grateful look on her face.

Your doctor asked you to get blood drawn for labs before you came in so by the time you showed up for your appointment, he already had a stack of reports with your name across the top. "Miss Y/l/n, how are you feeling today?"

You scratched at your thigh and shrugged. "I'm still not sleeping well...and part of that is the stomach pain. Painkillers aren't touching it anymore."

When he asked where your pain was, you put your hand over your right hip, and he nodded. "All right, Y/n. We found something concerning in your blood work: high levels of the CA-125 protein. Now, this can mean several things. Most often, it means endometriosis or pelvic inflammatory disorder, but sometimes it means ovarian cancer." You swallowed heavily at the 'C' word. "Now, you are at high risk for ovarian cancer because of your-"

"Suppressants," you whispered and he nodded.

"Because you've been on them your entire adult life, we need to make sure...so I'm going to send you for a transvaginal ultrasound."

As he explained the procedure and gave you pointers and tried to belay your fears, you could barely hear him. You were too lost in the panic making your heart pound in your ears.

"If...if it is cancer-"

"There are options, but we're not even close to there yet. Okay? We're going to do your ultrasound and move forward from there. All right?"

You nodded. It was all you could do.

The next three days leading up to your ultrasound were spent in a daze. You didn’t want to worry anyone so you kept it to yourself. You didn't know you'd say anything, even if the diagnosis came up with the worst.

It was your fault, after all. Taking the strongest suppressants available just so that you could hold out in a normal life long enough to find your truemate was stupid. It was such an idiotic thought that you even had a perfect mate waiting for you. You should have let an alpha have you years ago. You knew that holding off was going to kill you but you figured it was going to be a bad heat, not cancer. God, why did it have to be cancer?

"Y/n?" a voice from your dreams pulled you from your internal monologue and you lifted your head to meet hazel eyes that made you gasp...but you weren’t sure why. This man in his mid-thirties looked so familiar but you were sure you'd never seen him before. You could see a knife and a gun tucked under his jacket but his aura said he was a Hunter, not a danger to you.

"Yes?" You stood as he closed your office door behind him. "Can I help you?"

"You don't remember me?" He sighed and shook his head. "Of course not. You wouldn't have stayed away from Bobby so long if you remembered."

Your eyebrows came together as you shook your head. "Bobby's been dead since my second year of college. What are you-"

"Bobby Singer died of a gunshot wound to the head six months ago. He died in a hospital bed with me and my sons surrounding him," the man said, stepping closer. "He asked for you before he died. He always believed we'd find you."

Your mind called forth an image of Bobby holding your hands in your old bedroom, looking apologetic. He looked older than you remembered. You shook the image out of your head. "No. He died on a vampire hunt."

"He died chasing down a monster in the body of Dick Roman," the man insisted.

The name made you remember your dreams. "Are you...John Winchester?"

He looked relieved. "You remember?"

"No. No, and you don't look like John Winchester but...you sound like my dreams."

"You dreamed of me?" he asked, stepping closer.

"No." You shook your head and looked down at your desk. "Yes...I guess? I never...I heard you."

"Okay. Look, this is going to be hard to believe but I need you to listen to me...and listen to your soul."

"What does that-"

The man was suddenly in front of you, his hand over your heart. "I've got a part of your soul, Darlin'. Feel that. Please, feel that."

You were in shock for a moment. Even if this was somehow Sam and Dean's father, you barely knew the man. You'd specifically avoided him growing up. But as you looked into his eyes, another flash of memory hit you: you sitting in this stranger's lap, arms around his neck, a chess set with the white king laid on its side on the table beside you. It was intimate, familiar. It was caring, safe. It was welcome.

It wasn’t your memory. It couldn't be.

"This isn’t-"

"Baby Girl, please. You can feel that we're connected. Please, tell me you can-"

Panic set in as you tried to make sense of the memory of kissing him and having him lift you and take you to a bed. A cabin. A hot tub. "No, no, I-"

"You're panicking. I feel your panic, Y/n, and it’s okay. You were given fake memories to cover your old life but the real memories are in there. Your life is in there, we just need to get it out."

"Of course I'm panicking! I've got some strange man in my office, touching me!" You grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand off of you, stepping away. When he moved to grab your shoulder and stop you, you twisted quickly, thrusting your elbow into his sternum and stomping hard on the top of his foot. It was an automatic response, one you didn't know you were capable of. You stepped back in shock as he groaned and bent in half. "What did I do?"

He let out a cough and stood, trying to mask the pain on his face. "Just as you were trained to do, girl. Bobby trained you well."

You shook your head vehemently. "No. No, Bobby didn't...my dad said-"

"Look, you were a Hunter! You were one of the most badass omega Hunters in history! You put me in my place a few times, and alphas bigger than me. You helped stop the Apocalypse, for God's sake!"

A flash of a cemetery crossed your mind. A tall, skinny man in a green jacket wrapping his hand around your neck. The feel of your neck snapping.

Your hands went to your neck. "No. No. Just...why are you doing this?"

"Because you're not supposed to be here, Y/n. You're supposed to be with...you're supposed to be you and you're supposed to understand that your emotions are…" He let out a frustrated groan and turned away. "Something is wrong, Y/n. That's how I found you."

"What? What does that even mean?"

"I have a part of your soul. Big emotions, they permeate your soul...so I can feel them. A few days ago, I could feel your fear. I could feel your panic. It led me to you. And I've been looking for you for a year and a half, mind you. Dean and I, we've been looking…"

"Dean?" You couldn’t help but remember your dreams, how adamant Dean had been to find 'her'. 'Her' must have been you. "I don't understand what's going on."

"Just tell me what made you panic so hard that I could feel you in Nevada. Tell me what's wrong." You shook your head. You hadn’t told anybody. Why would you tell him? "Come on, kid. Something happened, right? Tuesday, around 11 am here."

Your jaw dropped. You closed your mouth and opened it again, then looked at your diploma on the wall. "I had a doctor's appointment. I...might have cancer."

Fear filled his scent, panic filled his eyes, but his face stayed stalwart. "Might?"

"I have an increased amount of some protein that correlates to ovarian cancer. Doc said it wouldn't account for my nightmares but it would account for the pain and the fatigue. I...have an ultrasound coming up and the only reason I'm telling you this is because you knew exactly when my first appointment was. How did you know when my first appointment was?"

"Because, Y/n, I have claimed part of your soul. I can feel you. Please, just...sit down, listen to me...knowing what you know about the world that most people think is myths and fairy tales, listen to me." You swallowed and sat down in your desk chair. He looked relieved as he came around and sat on your file cabinet. "You're here and you don't remember anything because Death, the Horseman Death, took away all of your damage...and your damage started when you were 18 years old, that's why you have false memories starting from way back then."

"What false memories?"

"All of them. Y/n, you never went to college. You went into heat when you were 18 and you ended up in bed with me. I had just been hit with a hex that reduced my age, I was young again and full of hormones and lacking in self control and we spent your heat-"

"No, I promised my dad-"

"I know." His voice was full of sympathy. "But we did...and I claimed your soul during that time and when Bobby got back to the salvage yard, he decided that you needed to learn how to take care of yourself. He taught you how to fight, how to hunt. You became the best omega hunter alive. You were...amazing." You shook your head. You weren’t a Hunter. You were never supposed to be a Hunter. "You were amazing...and you gave up everything to save my son, to save Dean's life. You sold your soul for him."

A flash of sickly yellow eyes and a cruel smile made your heart fill with despair. "Dean's a friend but I...why would I sell my soul for-"

"He's not just a friend. He's your truemate...and he was supposed to mark you."

"What? Dean hasn't ever…"

"Yes, he has. He even told you that he's in love with you, but he wouldn't mark you because he didn't want you stuck with him."

"What? But...I'm so confused."

"You're going to be. That confusion isn't going anywhere because Death locked your memories away behind a facade of all these new memories...these fake memories." He shook his head. "And some of that shit, it's good that you forgot it. It was painful and I'm glad you don't have it weighing you down anymore but...you aren't you anymore, either. I've watched you for a couple days...I barely recognize you like this."

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "And if you were happy here, I'd let you stay. I'd never tell Sam I found you and I wouldn't have approached you but you aren't you and you need to come-"

"I'm me!" you argued, standing. "I'm...I'm not sure what you think I'm supposed to be but-"

"The badass omega Hunter that reminded me what it felt like to be with a good woman! The good woman that saved my life when a couple of ghouls tried to bleed me for killing their old man. I know you're starting to get the feeling that I'm right, Y/n, and you can feel that you don't belong here."

"But I'm happy. I am happy. Doesn't that matter for anything?"

"You don't seem happy."

"Who are you to judge the lass' happiness? You don't even know the woman." Your eyes snapped to the back corner of your office, where Fergus MacLeod suddenly stood.

"Mr. MacLeod, how'd you get into my office?" you said at the same time John said, "Crowley? What are you doing here?"

"Wait. Crowley?" you asked. The name was familiar, but you couldn’t place it.

The shorter man smirked. "Come on, Sweetheart. I can't be the first dishonest man you've met in the antiquities world. Well, more specifically, I'm not a man." He blinked and his eyes went red, making you gasp. "See? She doesn't even know about demons, Winchester. She's useless to you."

"She just needs to be reminded," John growled, stepping toward the red-eyed man.

"Reminded? Of what? What Sam did? Or perhaps what Dean did? Maybe she needs to be reminded of what you did the day Lucifer broke free of his box. You really think she is better off with you?"

Your eyebrows came together. These things must be the things John was happy you didn't remember, but you couldn’t remember any of them.

"Don't you have a prophet to be torturing?" John snapped.

"Kevin's doing just fine, actually. I'm keeping a close eye on him...just like I've been keeping a close eye on our little omega. Why would you take her away from this life? She's doing so much better here… except for the cancer, of course."

"How do you-"

"I'm the bloody king of Hell, darling. Knowing things is half of my job." He blinked his eyes back to normal and stepped forward. "There is a reason Death granted you this second chance at living your life, Y/n, and it wasn’t because your life was perfect before he showed up. You are, without a doubt, the biggest distraction of Dean Winchester's life beyond his not-so-little brother. And Dean might be gone, but that's no reason to shack up with his father again."

"Gone?" you squeaked.

"I assume the monsters in Purgatory have torn him to pieces and enjoyed every bite of his delectable remains by now."

"Don't underestimate him," you snapped, the words coming out more assertive and more forceful than you imagined. John looked over at you and smiled a little. "If you think Dean's dead, you're an idiot."

Crowley chuckled. "Well...maybe your girl's in there, after all," he said before disappearing.

"You...remembering?" John asked cautiously.

You shook your head. "No, but...he's not dead. My dreams are never wrong."

"You been dreamin' of Dean?"

You swallowed and took a deep breath. "Purgatory. If Purgatory is monsters and panic and fighting for your life...I've been dreaming of Purgatory...and if Dean and I are connected…."

"You could only do that if Dean was still alive."

You nodded. "I think so."

"Okay. So...we gotta get him back. We have to find a way to open Purgatory again."

You bit your bottom lip and looked down at your desk. "John...I don't...that demon said I have cancer. What am I...I can’t go with you if I'm…"

John sighed. “Your right. Your health is more important than-”

You looked up and took a deep breath. “I think you should go looking for him. I’ll stay here and-”

John reached out and tucked his fingers in your necklace, pulling the chain out to reveal the Greek drachma in a small glass case that you’d been wearing half of your life. “This...is how we’re gonna figure out how to fix everything.”

“What?”

“I’ll explain when we get out of here. Your place?”

[the-cpu-system]

HI i'm new here but i'd LOVE to hear more about your self ship !! and also some handsome jack (+ self-ship?) headcanons 🙇‍♀️✨ do you have any AUs or do you usually stick to canon timeline?

HI!! Sorry this is so late, I need smthin to do in class so im responding to this now lol.

Sorry if this isn't good?? I don't do well with vague questions, BUTTT you wanna hear more about my self ship hmmm?????

I'll give some info about just me and Jack !! Not my self insert. Soooo.. hm. Me and Jack are married!! He's my wife. Not my husband, my wife. I'M his husband. Don't ask ab any of this, its hard to explain. He's my wife. I've liked Borderlands for a little over a year? My ex (at the time boyfriend ig) introduced me through Tales!! Holojack, actually. He was my first introduction to the characters. I do NOT selfship with Holo, though! This is a thing that's like. important! I don't selfship with Holo!!

Me and Jack got together sometime in the middle of my relationship with my ex? Kinda near the end of it. It was me and my exes like,, 4th break up or something. I needed comfort in something and Jack was there! That's when I started to get into Borderlands more and really started to dip into the fandom. He stayed my wife even when I (unfortunately) got back with my ex. Our last real breakup was actually decently recent I'd say, and Jack was there for me :). He's been with me ever since!! I made my self insert when I first started selfshipping with Jack (at that time I didn't even think I was ficto or actually seriously selfshipping) and now he's just slipped away from me and become an oc lol.

Just a little ago, I also got with Mordecai!! He's my gf. He's not my main f/o, but I do talk about him occasionally. It's kinda hard to most times with how unpopular he is? lol.

I do usually stick to canon! With my s/I (Max) x Jack, there's slight canon divergence by the verrry end of it all. Important, sure, cus Max gets Jack to stop with the vault and colonizing Pandora and crap. BUT, everything else is exactly the same! And with Mordecai there's no canon divergence.

The only AU I really have is BnB au? Dragonkeep? I sometimes dabble in that cus I'm a sucker for fantasy. Max is a helf-elf druid, by the way. In BnB.

Jack headcanons!! Yea!! Ive got a lot, mostly silly, but here's a few:

ive said this before but, demiboy (technically). He just says he's a dude. Doesn't correct people when they use he/they for him.

His scar is blue still! It's never not blue. (his scarrrr.. drooolsssss)

He has a prosthetic eye! Glass, not cybernetic. I know a lot of people hc him with an ECHOeye, but idk I just don't think he'd be comfortable with cybernetics

Hes a bottommmmmmm. Switch, actually, but bro likes being dominated (this isn't really a hc ig? This is basically canon)

YEA!!! I'm bout to go to lunch so this is all you're gettin. Sorry it was long!! Hope this answered tho!!

[pugwitharug]

Wangshu Nights

A little one-shot I did to try and pull my brain out of the "scrolling through social media" hole, including one of my OCs that I've never shown lol (he will be getting a post tho bc he's my baby)

Fandom: Genshin Impact Characters: Thierry (OC), Xiao Word Count: 2.2k Warnings: None Extra: OC x Canon, fluffy, a little bit of angst but it's bonked out, brief mention of another OC, this is just a first draft so it isn't Pulitzer-prize worthy but I don't think it's half bad

Here's him for reference btw

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dammit,” Thierry cursed under his breath as another drop of ink splotched the page in his book. He didn’t like the ink they had here in Liyue. Too runny, and it doesn’t work well with the thinner pages from the journal he purchased in Fontaine. It’s meant for one thick page with a brush, not many thin pages with a quill. It pained him to look at the starch difference in the cleanliness of the pages between when he was still in his home country and when he arrived in Liyue.

He shook his head as he continued to write down what happened that day. “Xingling, owner of Mingxing Jewelry at the heart of the Harbor, notes how the resurrection of the Chasm’s mining operations has done little for her store’s supply of gems.” He opened a smaller notebook, one he bought at the Wanwen Bookhouse, and flipped through pages covered in shorthand. “‘We’ve had advance orders on gems since the Chasm shut down, and even though it’s been up and running for months, we still haven’t gotten anything new,” says Xingling. “I don’t know if it’s a sudden lack of precious gems or the refiners we work with being slow.’”

He leaned back in his wooden chair, letting his head fall back to look at the ceiling. A dark wooden sky stared back at him, with no small holes to wink at him like stars. At least Wangshu Inn kept their rooms up to date. With it being the most popular inn in the nation, it probably has to be.

A small ache in his forehead made him close his eyes. Did he not drink enough water, or was the mark on his head acting up again? It was hard to tell sometimes. He should get some water anyways, it’s good to stay hydrated, it helps keep the brain working and writing good articles.

The lamp flickered slightly as he ran a hand through his emerald hair, sitting back upright. He got up and grabbed the water pitcher on the nightstand, filled up a small glass cup, cut so the bottom rim shone like a crystal, and downed the whole glass. Putting it back down, he glanced around the room. A comfortable bed sat next to him, its dark sheets folded carefully by the housekeeper from earlier. He was glad it was soft; it took a while for him to get used to the bed being so low to the ground, and it involved a lot of falling over. His desk was on the adjacent wall, covered in papers and spare ink and excerpts of the Harbor’s own newspaper. A small sitting area with a chair and coffee table in the opposite corner, also with a small pile of books on it. A window brought in the moonlight from outside, spilling onto the middle of the floor. It was a comfortable room, warm and homey.

He glanced at his desk, then glanced at the bed. “I’ll remember in the morning,” he mumbled as he took his purple tassel earring out and started undoing his vest. He was gonna go investigating again tomorrow, and he needed plenty of--

A rumbling from his stomach interrupted his thoughts. Crap, when was the last time he ate? Lunch? “Okay, fine, relax. I’ll get you something,” he sighed as he finished taking his vest off and threw it onto the bed. He left the room and started towards the staircase to the lower level. He thought about what he could make in the kitchen, or ask to be made if Smiley Yanxiao was still there. Why was he called that? He knew he asked that question once, but he didn’t remember the answer. Or if he even got an answer in the first place.

He stepped down the stairs all the way to the kitchen, where the absence of light clued him into the absence of the chef. This kitchen was available to guests, they just had to use their own ingredients. Well…he didn’t have that at the moment, he hadn’t gone shopping recently. But if it was just for one night, who would notice a few almonds gone? Oh, he should make some almond tofu.

The thought of it made him start to salivate a little. It was one of his favorite Liyue dishes. Soft and creamy, not too spicy like everything else is, and easy to make. It also reminded him of someone he’s grown to like recently. He smiled. Maybe he’ll see him again soon.

He entered the kitchen and turned on the light, rummaging around for fresh tofu and almonds. Firing up the stove, he began to cook. Chop up the almonds, make them into a sauce, then fry the tofu. The smell was pleasant, but not quite as mouth-watering as when it was made by the chef.

He looked up at the tall ceiling, wooden beams holding the structure up. Was he there, sitting on the balcony, looking over the marshlands and distant mountains? Should he make a second one, just in case? He glanced back down at the pan on the stove and turned off the flames. He didn’t want to waste more food than he already was. He placed the tofu blocks on a ceramic plate and cleaned the cooking equipment, but just before he left, he grabbed two forks instead of one. Just in case.

Quietly closing the door, he went back to the staircase and started making his way up to the top floor. The fresh night air was calming and made a meal like this more enjoyable. He peeked through the archway leading to the main balcony to make sure that no one else was there. There was, but it was one person he didn’t mind having as company.

Xiao stood right behind the fence, his back lit by the lights in the hallway. The light green tattoo on his left arm curled around his skin, while the spiked pauldron on his right shoulder shone, newly polished. The obsidian mask on his hip snarled at Thierry, daring him to come closer. The jade spear wasn’t affixed to his back, letting his pale skin show.

“I had a feeling you were here,” Thierry smiled as he came up to him.

If Xiao heard him, he didn’t acknowledge it.

That didn’t deter Thierry. He knew Xiao was like this. He stopped next to him--on the left side without the spikes--and set the plate of tofu down on the fence. “I didn’t really know if you were up here for sure, so I didn’t make you your own plate, but if you want to you can share with me.”

Xiao glanced over at him with his piercing golden eyes. He had to look up a bit since he was a few inches shorter than Thierry. “Why would you want to share? You made the food for yourself.”

“Yeah, but sharing food makes it taste better,” he chuckled as he took a fork and pulled off the corner, the metal easily sliding through the tofu. “And I’m probably not gonna eat it all, to be honest. It’s not good to go to bed on a full stomach.”

Xiao stared at the second fork sitting on the plate before uncrossing his arms and taking it. “...thank you.”

“Of course,” Thierry smiled. He looked out where Xiao was, over Dihua Marsh. He could see a few towers from hilichurl camps, but they looked to be empty. “Slaughtered any demons recently?”

“Are you trying to do small talk?”

“I haven’t seen you in a week, I’m trying to catch up. And I don’t think you have any hobbies.”

Xiao was silent for a while. “Yes. I purged some evil from Qingce Village two days ago.”

“That’s good, right?”

“No,” Xiao almost snapped. His brows furrowed, pinching the small purple diamond on his forehead. “It’s not good that there is still evil in this world. It’s not good that I’ve failed at my job.”

Thierry had to hold back a sigh as he put his fork down. “Xiao, you haven’t failed at anything. You’re doing your job perfectly. It’s not your fault that there’s still a bunch of shit in the world, it’s something beyond your control.”

“It shouldn’t be,” Xiao growled.

Thierry rolled his eyes. “Well too bad, it is. The best that you can do is take out anything that gets out of control and starts to harm people.” He reached out and puts a hand on his shoulder. It was cold and tense. “That’s what your job is, right? Not to save the world, but keep humanity safe.”

Xiao looked at Thierry’s hand, a few small splotches of ink on his fingertips--damn runny ink--and slowly started to relax. He looked back out to the marshlands and took another bite of tofu.

“That’s better,” Thierry sighed softly as he let go of his shoulder and finished one of the blocks. “Was there anything positive about this week?”

Xiao had to think for a bit. “I…saw some dogs.”

“Aww, that’s adorable!” Thierry grinned. “Were they cute?”

“The mortal understanding of “cute” is…hard to comprehend.”

“I’ll take that as a yes because all dogs are cute.”

“What about those born in abuse and strife?”

“Cute and brave and stronger than any soldier.” He paused. “No, most soldiers, I know a few that are really strong.” He pointed his fork at Xiao. “You still haven’t met Shui, have you? I think you two could get along.”

Xiao shook his head. “I have no interest in meeting other mortals.”

“First, I know that’s wrong for a fact. Second, I really do think you’d like her. You two are kind of similar.”

Xiao growled again. “I mean other mortals. I’m not talking about you.”

Thierry laughed and nudged his shoulder with Xiao’s. “I know, I’m just messing with you.”

The two stood in comfortable silence for a while, just looking out at the night landscape, the stars brightly lighting the way for them. Even though the stars shine so brightly, sometimes it was hard to see them in Liyue Harbor. It was the same in the capital city of Fontaine. Out here, at the Inn, you didn’t need to strain your eyes to see all the constellations.

When the forks scraped on an empty plate, Thierry stopped looking. “I’ll bring this back.” He grabbed the plate and forks. “Thanks for not running away.” He took a step back to the hallway. “Wait.”

Thierry stopped and looked back, watching as Xiao meet him in the middle of the balcony. A warm breeze blew through, rustling their hair a little. Golden eyes met gray as Xiao hesitantly reached up and, as soft as a baby bird’s feather, cupped Thierry’s cheek.

It still surprised Thierry every time Xiao willingly did this, but it still brought a smile to his face. He put his free hand atop Xiao’s and pressed his cheek into it, filling his cold hand with his own warmth. “You have poor circulation,” he whispered to him.

Xiao didn’t respond and just leaned up, tilting his head a little to the side, his eyes starting to close. Thierry met him in the middle and locked their lips together in a gentle embrace, still new, still mostly unsure. It felt…good. Like a promise he wouldn’t just up and leave when he got bored.

They separated after a few seconds, and Thierry rested their foreheads together, the two marks touching each other. A source of pain leaning on a source of freedom.

“I…don’t want to run away from you,” Xiao whispered after a few more seconds of silence, the first to pull away. He looked at Thierry with sincerity in his eyes.

“Nor do I,” Thierry said, taking Xiao’s hand in his and squeezing it a little. “And I won’t.” He let it go. “I need to sleep, I have a big day tomorrow. I’ll see you when I see you.” He gave Xiao a smile before heading back into the Inn, his lips still tingling a little.

~~~~~

Thierry lay underneath the covers of his bed, the lights out and his glasses folded on the nightstand. The darkness in the room beckoned for sleep to come, but as he started to close his eyes, a faint sound came from outside his window. High-pitched, almost like a bird, and musical. He kept his eyes open to listen closely, and he started to recognize what was going on.

An idea sprung into his head.

He dragged himself out of bed and turned the lamp on again, grimacing at the sudden bright light. He went to his desk and flipped over to the next clean page--or clean enough, given the new ink splotch on the corner. Dipping his quill in ink, he started to write.“On nights filled with unwanted mistakes, simple headaches, and midnight snacks with someone close, if you’re lucky enough, you can hear the song of a lonely yaksha calling out to his past. Past friends, past family, past memories. And if you’re even luckier, you’ll get to hear the song of the future.”

[we-pay-for-everything]

Which really loved/hyped Buffyverse characters, ships and episodes do you just not like very much, or at least like less than most fans seem to?! And remember that you really are so valued and cared for here - reading your stuff is one of the best parts of my day!

Thank you! You're so sweet :) For someone who doesn't have many followers I get a disproportional amount of asks, so, if anything, my anons clearly value me <3

Characters:

Spike (duh);

Cordelia - More so on AtS than BtVS, I think;

Buffy;

Faith - Only in seasons 3/4 of BtVS. I love her tons on AtS but was only able to connect with and enjoy her character there. I like Faith in BtVS season 7 though. I just don't understand the hype around her in BtVS season 3. I guess mostly I don't understand why people love her and Buffy's dynamic so much.

Are there more characters? Tara? I don't think she's overhyped, but I guess I like her a little less than most? There aren't many overhyped characters on AtS - quite the opposite, there are mostly underrated ones. Some fans probably think Wesley is overhyped? I think fans love Lindsey too and I never got the hype. Oh, and maybe Fred is a bit overhyped sometimes?

Ships:

Spuffy;

Fuffy;

Tillow;

Cander - I like Xanya but I know most people don't like Anya and prefer Xander with Cordy;

Spike/Angel - Hate them;

Lindsey/Angel - They're not that hyped but I think some people like them?

Jenny/Giles - Are they popular?

There aren't a lot of popular canon ships on Buffyverse. I know I'm missing ships, sorry.

Episodes:

Halloween - Absolutely hate this episode.

Passion - It's so annoying! I hate Angelus's cheesy VO and stalking of Buffy so much. The episode is so dramatic in such a cheesy way.

Bad Girls - This episode is so giffed, but it's not that memorable to me, probably because I don't care much about Faith and Buffy;

The Prom - I like the episode, but like many season 3 episodes it's not as good as people say.

Hush - It's good and super original, but it's also a bit boring to me;

This Year's Girl/Who Are You - Both are considered some of the best Buffy episodes, but I never cared for them, nor for SMG/ED's performances. Again, this is probably because I don't care about Fuffy, or Faith in the beginning;

Restless - Barely got through it once. I thought it was pretentious crap, just the kind Joss was great at;

Fool For Love - One word: Spike;

The Gift - Apart from the ending, the episode isn't really that good, I think;

Life Serial - I kind of remember this episode being hyped and seen as one of the best in season 6, but I don't remember enjoying it;

Once More With Feeling - Am I alone in barely getting through it once and hating all the songs and the actors' singing?

Conversations with Dead People;

Lies My Parents Told Me - I loathe this episode and the one above so much but I can't even remember which one's which;

Spin the Bottle - I like the episode, but it's really not as funny as advertised imo;

Destiny - I think some people like it for some reason;

Smile Time - I like it, but it's not that funny. It's just a solid episode.

Birthday? The Girl in Question? Are there overhyped Angel episodes? Maybe most early season 5 episodes? Fans seem to love this season and I don't, with the exception of the brilliant Wesley and Illyria arc, You're Welcome, Origin, Not Fade Away, and a few others.

Thanks for the ask and for the kind words! I know I've forgotten stuff, but, oh well...

[captain-aralias]

🛠📚🧠 (for "pick a character" let's go with the Mage or Fiona Pitch?)

hello <3 thank you for this! i would've talked about blake too (ha ha, we know the mage is evil!blake). ahem...

🛠What tools/programs/apps do you use to write?

i sell my soul to microsoft - i can only write in microsoft word, desktop version. then (and this is sadly true), i copy and paste the entire document into a google document - which has exactly the same functionality, if not better, and is free. and then @giishu and sometimes some other people look at it. and then i paste a new version from Word into the original google doc if i wrote a lot more.

i'm mocking myself here, but i think i like the separation. gdocs is great for sharing, but i hate the idea that i could be writing and then someone i shared it with might be there and see my bad words that i was literally trying to write then and there. i like having the ability to curate. and not be watched.

📚 Would you ever want to turn writing into a career?

probably not in reality. i love the idea of being famous and beloved and remembered, but from an actual career-career perspective... it's probably not for me. being creative on demand, working ALONE, making your own deadlines, coming up with your own characters... all of this is very much not my thing.

i can see me doing a career where i, like, wrote enid blyton books after her death, or possibly wrote episodes of (for example) doctor who. enough of the characters and structures exist, and there would be other people to hang out with. and i dont say that i will never have an idea for something of my own that i could then shop around, but ... it's not that likely. i haven't trained myself for it. and, as i said, so much of what i like about fic writing actually wouldn't be available to me.

plus, i like my job and it's well paid. (so i'd be completely happy if only i wasn't also like 'RIP: why am i not a famous author?' in my soul)

🧠 Pick a character, and I'll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

i'm not a big headcanon person - i feel this makes my fics kind of thin, as i try not to stray outside what i know - or just invent something if i need it, but hopefully no one else notices.

my favourite headcanon for the mage is that he could be autistic .... but mostly i just feel he's really tired and angry and made a bunch of bad decisions, like.... the leader of the freedom party.

fiona....... yeah, i don't know. and i write her a lot. i can't think of anything that i think about her that doesn't come from canon. i guess i tend to lazily assume she was ebb's room mate at watford. and she's always vampire hunting in europe in my fics, to get her out the way, (but i just checked CO and that's from canon. rainbow came up with that.) (rainbow says she's crap at vampire hunting though, and i guess i headcanon that she is very good, she just also wants to marry a vampire, and has a vampire nephew).

that's all i've got.

thank you for asking, though!! even if i sent me down this spiral at the end 😅😅😅

—

from this list of asks

[fandom-hoarder]

listen I have so many questions about Stanford Sam, like this kid who was raised in the wild, barely aware of acceptable social conduct arrives with his 2 ectoplasm stained t-shirts at his dorm and like ????? is he very aware of it at first? or does he think he's hiding it well? and like moving in with Jessica?????? he doesn't know how to water plants and that you have to pay electricity bills ??? Like obviously he's not stupid, we know that!! But there are certain things about ordinary everyday life that are just impossible to pick up when you're raised like that. And this is just surface-level stuff, like I feel overwhelmed just thinking about how many tiny things I do in a day, just normal life stuff that I've always done, that Sam would be like ???? so weirded out by, or maybe creepily fascinated ??? Would he try and copy everyone around him maybe??? and then all the odd things that he'd probably do !!! like just basic marine survival nonsense he's dad probably taught him applied in mundane life situations that would make him stand out and he wouldn't even notice !!! And he thinks he's doing fine, people seem to accept him, but then suddenly someone mentions like... TRL or something and he's like ??? and then Dean picks him up and it all falls to pieces, because it's so EASY and ingrained and he doesn't have to pretend and it puts it into perspective how not okay he was doing at Stanford even when it felt like he was ?? god I'm just rambling, like I barely even have headcanons, I'm just so overwhelmed by all the possibilities of how this would play out !!!!

Holy crap, first I wanna apologize if this has been sitting here awhile. The Ask notification location in settings instead of notifications on the app is so weird and I get them so rarely I don’t think to check. (and the website shows that I have 4 but this one is the only one it’ll show? How does tumblr work? Oh yeah, it doesn’t lol.)

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this! But they’re not necessarily cohesive?! Like first we all know Sam is super smart. He’s curious. He’s inquisitive. But he’s also sheltered in weird ways. There are things he’s known about the world that most people would never know about, let alone kids his age at any given time; yet the existence of those things--and the understanding that therefore potentially anything could be real--also lends itself to keeping him childlike--he had an “imaginary friend” at age nine and believed in the Easter bunny through age eleven, which is much later than the average probably???

By middle school, he definitely would’ve been feeling the strains of his otherness around his classmates, even if they weren’t constantly moving around, but of course the nomadic lifestyle just makes it even harder.

I think Sam is a very observant person, though. He figured out something was up with their dad and The Truth at age 8! So people watching is Sam’s saving grace for getting along in the mundane world. He definitely learns to mask his otherness by mimicking mundane people.

And I get sidetracked here because then I start thinking about exactly how their childhood went. We know John used Pastor Jim and Bobby as childcare/parenting support to some degree. I don’t think we really know anything about Caleb, maybe I’m forgetting something, but my headcanon is that Caleb functioned as a “fun younger uncle” type to Sam and Dean: cool, responsible in a pinch, but mostly not given childcare responsibilities because of his wilding tendencies. (they learn swears accidentally from Bobby and John, but Caleb TEACHES them.) Sam and Dean didn’t even know about Missouri until s1, so she’s off the caretaker list. They had that babysitter they met up with in uhh... Swap Meat! But largely we assume that Dean had a lot of the caretaking responsibilities; maybe with temporary babysitters in other places the same as Swap Meat.

And lbh you just can’t expect well-rounded, informed child-rearing from a kid only four years older. There’s a reason I associate a lot of weechester flashbacks with Sammy watching TV like in Something Wicked, because literally little siblings are A LOT and sometimes you just want them to sit still and quiet and leave you alone for a bit omg.(wait, give me a minute, I’m imagining little 6 year old Dean on the phone with Bobby because John ran out for food supplies and isn’t back yet and Sammy is still asleep but Dean’s creeped out in the longterm room they’re staying in because he KNOWS about the supernatural already. but then bobby gets on John’s case about it--and instead of never leaving Dean alone with baby Sam again, Dean learns from John’s belt not to call anyone when he’s left alone unless it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY. Or maybe, because marine, John doesn’t use his belt; maybe he uses PT instead and every time Dean thinks about calling Bobby for that reason again, his abs ache from the memory of punishment situps, or his arms get suddenly shaky thinking about doing pushups til he just couldn’t anymore.)

I haven’t read all of John’s Journal, and I know it’s not actually canon, but IIRC the bits that I’ve read from the wiki show John and the boys staying with a family friend in Lawrence for a few weeks, MAYBE a few months before John visits Missouri and everything STARTS. I think if he hadn’t picked up and left with them then, the family friends would’ve been contacting CPS because they’re starting to think John’s grief is making him unhinged. (I really want to read the journal tbh--there are bits I’ve seen that make me fantasize even more about boyking!sam storylines... but I’m getting even more off track.)

So we’ve got this weird/interesting dichotomy of kids that are groomed with these hyperspecialiizations, too weird to really fit in with other kids but sheltered from the actual hunter life also--like the fact that there ARE other hunters, like as a THING, not just their dad’s rando friends that, as kids, they may just assume know about the supernatural because their dad told them! (jfc they’re SO PRIMED to be each other’s entire world omg I’m gonna die)

So like, by being quiet and observant (an imaginative kid, by nature and by nurture as John starts to take Dean out more and leave Sam alone with his own thoughts), Sam would pick up a lot of things. But they’re never anywhere long enough for him to fully grasp everything and he would definitely suffer a bit from the Dunning-Kruger effect--not having enough knowledge about a thing, but having just enough that you don’t realize you don’t.

Let’s say Sam observes and picks up some things about normal residential life by being around a few mundane babysitters. The nature of John’s “work” would mean that, even if they were in a more in-home-daycare-like situation, they’d be likely to be the “after hours” kinds of kids that are still there when everyone else is picked up and the babysitter would normally be doing their normal life stuff: changing clothes, cleaning up from the daycare kids, making dinner, etc (sam and dean would definitely help, either out of kindness or duty or because it’s agreed that if they help out John will get a discount on their care costs--don’t mind me, just projecting my childhood onto the winchesters hahh. I’m NOT going to go off on a tangent about Dean already having so much experience caring for babies cuz of Sam. He definitely doesn’t have all the under-4s following him around begging for attention while he burps one of the three babies their babysitter cares for after a bottle. it DEFINITELY didn’t make Sam (age 4, 5, 6 maybe) jealous enough to repress the memory so that over a decade later he would claim that Dean doesn’t even LIKE kids.)

Uhh... what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sam. Observing normal life. Anyway so maybe after things settle for the day, sometimes a babysitter will sit at the dining table with the weekly bills and their checkbook and do the bills. And Sam kind of loves things like this: it feels like something important; it feels like playing school before he was old enough to go (quick aside here: John totally enrolled Sam in school early, both because that’s the only way his age works with canon timeline and because it would make life easier if Sam was in school just like Dean--more cost-and-time efficient.) And maybe Sam goes and sits at the table and just. Watches.

And then he asks questions. When he’s curious, he doesn’t keep his questions to himself as a child (unless the subject is expressly forbidden: see Dean’s reaction when Sam brings up Mary). But his age would inevitably limit the scope and understanding of those questions. Adults are generally disinclined to fully explain the adult world to children, especially when it comes to finances, and in the 80s and early 90s?? With most of the adults of that time that I knew, those kinds of questions were considered rude and nosey. He might understand that adults have to pay bills; he may even understand something about utilities; but he wouldn’t necessarily understand all the requirements and frequency.

Though their nomadic lifestyle wasn’t stable by any “normal” definition, one thing to be said about mostly living out of motels is that your power is never cut off, or your water, or your heat. There’s always television, usually with cable. And the only form of payment you see going on is dad handing over cash or plastic at the front desk--one and done. My headcanon usually disallows the idea that they would’ve squatted in empty houses when Sam and Dean were kids (John makes plenty of bad decisions but I just don’t see him staying in a place without power or water with CHILDREN. Teenagers? SURE.) They would learn how to clean house and make proper beds even when it wasn’t always necessary with housekeeping available--both because of John’s military parenting style and because John would be most likely to opt out of daily housekeeping to lower the risk of having people ask questions.

So yeah, there are so many little intricacies of the mundane world that Sam wouldn’t be conditioned to even think about. Even the realization that he doesn’t know enough about regular life, as he grows up and longs more and more for that very thing because he’s never had more than a glimpse of it, wouldn’t necessarily be enough.

Would his natural curiosity lead him to ask those questions? He can’t ask John because he already asked Dean and got a dismissive answer because ‘what does any of that matter, Sam? we’ll never have to worry about that shit.’ and if Dean seems borderline offended by the sheer audacity of the questions in the first place, he knows John will be worse.

In the 90s, life skills were still kind of a thing in most U.S. schools. But in a really inconsistent way. Sometimes it was in health class curriculum; sometimes your math class would actually do a short focus on balancing a checkbook and banking if there was a chapter, but a lot of times those parts get skipped. You never use the whole textbook. Sometimes life skills was only in Home Ec, but H.E. was completely elective in my area when I was in middle school (the same exact years Sam would’ve been in middle school) and I’m assuming the same for most of the U.S. Sam may have taken it, or he may have taken something else instead (wood shop or computer class were the alternatives in my area). Maybe the nature of school hopping meant that he HAD to enroll in Home Ec, because resources for the other electives were finite, but somehow always managed to miss the bills and budgeting portion. Maybe he couldn’t even take Home Ec due to class size or resources and they just put him in a study hall for that period. (Maybe they put him in the computer class, where he mostly does book work until he gets a turn on the PC he has to share with his classmate.)

As an observant person, Sam totally would’ve known about TRL, I think. There’s no way at least one group of kids in the halls or lunchroom wasn’t talking about it every day in high school, especially with the advent of Britney Spears and Eminem and Jesse freakin Camp. Maybe he goes to someone’s house to try to hang out or to study and they turn it on and Sam watches raptly because it’s such a strange phenomenon and he hardly ever gets to hear new music, much less watch the videos. But he can’t actually get into it because the fangirls are annoying and his analytical mind won’t let him suspend his disbelief about how the voting works. (Maybe he tries giving it another shot in their motel room sometimes, but Dean vetoes that bubblegum pop shit IMMEDIATELY--no Sam, look, that shit isn’t REAL music; most of them don’t even play instruments. And it’s really not fair because Dean TOTALLY watched MTV’s The Grind in the early 90s for his fix of suggestively gyrating bodies before he figured out how to access porn without getting caught.)

Sam and Dean actually make a LOT of pop culture references, which always fascinates me. I imagine they did a lot of TV watching and VCR/movie renting in the times they weren’t working on a case with/for their dad (projecting again; my dad’s house was a very boring place on his weekends). The nature of Dean’s idolization of John and disinclination to let Sam have his own separate likes means they have a mix of age-appropriate pop culture knowledge and a lot of Boomer-era TV and movie knowledge--Dean more than Sam, maybe when it comes to things like cowboy movies and TV lol.

Anyway, as the realization that he doesn’t really know how anything works crept in, maybe Sam would try to lowkey create situations where he could ask his friends/his friends’ parents those normal life kind of questions. But maybe after his first few tries, he’s become so uncomfortably aware of how weird he is to even need to ask that he stops asking. Maybe he starts to tap into his specialized skills and starts snooping/creeping around their houses to try to glean knowledge. Maybe he scours the library for books on ‘what you need to know for life’--I have the urge now to do a google search on actual titles of books on this subject that may have existed at the time, but I’ve already spent a lot of time on this without going into research spirals. lol Maybe he can’t find exactly the things that are pertinent--still doesn’t fully realize that, though--and in the meantime his cache of esoteric knowledge continues to build.

So he gets to Stanford and he mostly understands how the financing works; enough to get by with enrollment and stuff. He understands that he’ll need to get a job of some sort to make ends meet because he’s there to be normal and normal people don’t pay for everything with scammed credit cards and billiards money; he knows that much. But he doesn’t really know about wages, minimum wage, freaking payroll taxes, etc. (I feel like Dean would’ve had odd jobs as a teen, some legit some under the table, but that the nature of John (and Dean) wanting to keep Sam home and safe would’ve made the subject of Sam working through high school a banned topic. And anyway, much as I’m not a fan of the characterization in Drag Me Away (From You), what Dean said to Sam about the impossibility of getting into college with the way his academic career would look is accurate. So Sam would’ve probably spent most of his free time on academics so he could get the fuck out, rather than trying to get a job.

Maybe having to buy his textbooks would be a surprise? John probably always qualified for Sam and Dean to be on free lunch/free book programs in public school, not to mention the likelihood of the records being at least partially counterfeit. But at the same time, John was probably very hands off with their school enrollment crap once the boys were old enough to handle it themselves, so Sam would at least have an inkling.

Sam would be a weird mix of no-boundaries and too-secretive, and his first attempts at acting normal would be a bit too put-on. He’s got experience acting per 1x16 (oh, maybe he did drama instead of home ec somewhere lol), but acting on stage is so much different to acting in a more personal setting. On stage you have to exaggerate your movements to project all the way to the back. Early-Stanford Sam, I guess, is a bit like Soulless Sam. He knows there’s something off about him compared to the people around him, and he just does his best to pretend he’s the same as them without calling attention to his differences, which ends up coming off robotic. A little Stepford. A little uncanny valley. He learns to bite his tongue every time he’s about to let something normal only to his family roll off it; learns to be even more vague than he used to be, because now he’s around strangers ALL THE TIME.

At some point, Sam has a little-but-big breakdown about a payment he missed or the fact that he had to steal shampoo because he didn’t even have toiletries in his budget and couldn’t even afford a bottle of White Rain or Suave, so since he was stealing anyway he got the special brand he really likes and then feels too awful to even use it and doesn’t wash his hair for a week. Brady takes pity on the cute but hapless puppy-boy who is a physical and academic behemoth but has obviously been living off-grid on some kind of militia commune for the past forever--at first the rumor was that he was Amish on rumspringa but the amount of times Sam has busted out some supremely random survival knowledge in casual conversation changes that rumor quickly--and has no understanding of the world. And by the time he moves off-campus with Jess, Sam has this masking thing down pretty well; he can almost forget he’s not normal sometimes and Jess only knows about his previous helplessness in a cute, anecdotal kind of way.

And then Dean comes and gets him and Sam’s all “you and Dad still doing credit card scams?” and Dean’s like “well hunting doesn’t pay the bills.”

AND SAM’S LIKE, NEITHER DO YOU DEAN! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLS ARE?! BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Stu has never done rugby for one day of his school life, more of a footie guy, but he WILL take any opportunity to rugby tackle murdoc when he is drunk. Drunk stu will rugby tackle murdoc, shove him around with a hand around his neck, and pull his hair. He also will squeeze murdocs shoulder while talking to him like he is a stress ball. I know Murdoc being physically scrappy to stu is canon but i feel like weve also seen stu give back in the same way and i love it. All that to say, stu will bend murdocs wrist until it almost break and make fun of the fact that murdoc is oficially "bent" now.

Ahhhh, I love this mental image! I remember asking Certified Brit ElapsedSpiral about rugby once and got the impression that as a school sport it was actually a bit posh/not a sport of the working class, which is very interesting as from our perspective across the pond, rugby gets the reputation of being very rough and rowdy (and therefore somewhat classless) while among the public at large, aka not those with special interest in the EPL, football is quite honestly treated a bit posh-- rather, soccer is seen as much posher of a sport than American football due to the cultish stronghold our football has in this country, and most people just don't distinguish between soccer and non-American football as different things with a different culture around it.

(It's strange to say and I'd be embarrassed to cite this as the source, but my interest in writing more "realistic" Studoc has opened the door to so many unrelated topics all linked to class in England, and I'm glad for it, it's really fascinating to me. But of course I'm no expert still and I'm always learning, so feel free to correct me or offer your experience! I've read that there's been more push in recent years for better funding to the less-represented clubs to address this perception of rugby in schools.)

But back on track, middle classes be damned, I'm an absolute maniac for sporty Stu and still love the idea of him playing rugby even though he's rather crap at it. Football is definitely where his heart lies, it's higher-profile to start with and suits his natural stature more, but all of it harkens back to those playfully competitive, no-real-stakes school days that I think of him as being extremely nostalgic and a bit homesick for. Stu's always been a lanky guy and I know it's a bit wish fulfillment to say he's stronger than he looks, but I do reckon that as utterly useless as he'd be in a real fight, he just has such a height advantage with such incredibly long limbs that it isn't so difficult to overtake boozy, hunched Murdoc when he's feeling giddy and rambunctious. Murdoc vacillates between attraction to the stereotypical masculinity of it, incessant mocking of the overcompensating masculinity of it, and wanting to make a grab for Stu's flick knife when his bar-brawly instincts accidentally kick in. He'd try harder to stop it if he didn't get something out of it, but Murdoc does enjoy a hand on the neck (front or back, dealer's choice) so he'll let the threat of a wrist fracture slide... maybe just a quick elbow in the stomach when he thinks it might really break. Just a bit inconvenient is all, that's his favourite wrist, y'know?

Lads! Lads! Lads! Oi! Oi! Oi!

[iwriteficsandmore]

As a Villain Stan Chapter 266 broke me, did you think Hawks was capable of doing something like this? I've always seen him as little more... chill and relaxed? i guess? i didn't think he'd actually go for the kill, especially as we havent seen heroes do that before in the series (I mean look at AFO, he is the worst of the worst and they just locked him up). I think this is a big turn in the series if we're actually going to have each side kill each other

Oh, I like this ask! Okie, here’s my scattered thoughts organized a bit, hope you can make sense of them :) For those who’re up to reading this (if it wasn’t obvious by the ask) this will contain spoilers for ch266. I know it’s out officially already but some may not have read it/be caught up to it. Also, in case I dive in to some not so savory topics, do practice discretion. You’ve been forewarned!

Okay, so I’ve separated this answer into 3 parts for you so it’s easier to digest and read :) Pardon the grammar and stuff! Also I realized how freaking long it got after writing so I’m gonna just leave it under ‘read more’.

1. Hawks’ killing someone. 

Short answer: yes. It’s always been in the back of my mind that Hawks is capable of such a thing. Setting headcanons aside as much as I’m able to, if we look into his background, the guy was basically indoctrinated into the whole ‘hero’ business. Though a vague comparison and quite a stretch, it kind of reminded me of child soldiers and how’re their trained from a young age for the one purpose. A single difference I see is that Hawks is capable of individual thought. That is to say, he isn’t totally lost his sense of self because of his upbringing as the commission’s trained ‘hero’. But the way I’ve seen it through canon, that same sense of self was greatly shaped by the way he was saved. 

Take for example how he says he wants a world where hero’s have more free time than they know what to with thing. The way I’ve seen it, is that it’s a singular idea coming from his experiences, shaped by the life he’s led but in itself shaped by what they’ve made him out to be. If he were a normal hero (i.e. had wanted to become one by his own volition and gone through the whole ordeal like any other kid like the kids from UA or Shiketsu), sure he’d want peace but I highly doubt it’d be so the world and people could rest easy. The way I see it (and this is with the knowledge that we truly don’t know what his own intentions are), if villains are gone and heroes have more free time, it’d allow him freedom that he’s never experienced since the time he got picked up by the Public Hero Comm. 

I’ll stop at this example since I’m starting to dig into my own headcanon, but this is what I’ve got so far. I’m not one to overanalyze but given what little we know about his past and upbringing and coupled with the way he was ‘raised’ to be a hero, I was prepared for him to do what he believes has to be for the sake of what mission he’s given. His whole purpose in life has been to be a hero, and what does a hero do? They assure the safety of the populace regardless of the cost. Be that cost come from them or the minority that will be hurt by what they do. 

2. Ideology of Heroes and Villains. 

As for the point that we haven’t seen a hero do that before, I completely agree. We haven’t. But imo that’s the brilliance of this chapter and overall the build-up we’ve seen to this arc. That is taking into account that Twice has indeed been killed by Hawks (cuz there’s a small part of me that thinks maybe, just maybe he’s still alive. I really like the fellow TwT).

The idea we have of a hero (especially someone like Hawks who, as you said, has’t given off that ‘image’) is a makeshift idea that we’ve had ingrained into us. It’s funny how innately we are aware of the definition of heroes and villains without bothering to think where or how that idea itself formed in our heads. Heroes do the right thing, they are good, and that, by proxy, means not killing. Villains are, by lack of a better word, the bad guys. They hurt others, they’re selfish, and by extension, they’re capable of killing. It’s what the media and other mediums of entertainment have taught us with their archetypes. 

But it’s something that, through this chapter and arc, has been cracked in the minds of some and completely broken in the minds of others. Idk if you’re aware (and if i’ve heard things right) about how some Hawks stans are starting to drop him after this chapter and after what he did to Twice. Frankly, I couldn’t care less about those people, but they’re reaction is something that interested me quite a bit. More so the way, they could make such a split second decision with the one action. This is why I’m freaking loving this arc. After ‘my villain academia’ arc, Hori has given us a reason to care about these characters. About Toga, about Twice, about Compress, about Spinner, about Dabi, and especially about Shigaraki. But let’s cut the middle man out and go straight into the one that got this whole ball rolling: Twice. I’ve been in love with the League ever since the Overhaul arc, because since then is when I saw how this little group of misfits was starting to become a wholesome family unit. You saw a little of that in the Kamino arc but imo it started way back in the Overhaul arc. Since then we’ve been implanted with little reasons to like these characters and empathize with them and it was all in preparation for the a grand, bombastic punch in the gut that was the Meta Liberation Army arc. Imo, this chapter may have looked like the turning point, and it may have certainly been, but the damn match that started it all was that arc. It gave readers a reason to care about ‘the others’ and instead of villains, we now have this idea of people ostracized by a society that didn’t give them the opportunity to be themselves. That arc dealt with the cemented idea of ‘villains’.

This chapter dealt the blow to the other side of this coin. Hawks killing Twice, a person we’ve seen to be the product of the very world and society the heroes upheld, was the last drop to shatter the idea of them being all good. We’ve seen/heard of villains killing heroes, but, as you said, we haven’t been privy of the idea of heroes killing villains in this story. And even if we had, that’s not what made this the huge deal that it became. It’s not because it happened that the community is shocked, but because it happened to a character we love. That we became attached to. That we came to know. 

Think of it this way. It’s the same reason why it pained us when Nighteye died. We knew Nighteye’s motivations, his hopes, his dreams for the future. And though we knew a little bit of Overhaul, we had been most exposed to Nighteye’s pov. This time, that got turned around on us. Yes, we love Hawks (I stan the damn birb brain) but we don’t really know him. We know the hero, we don’t know the person. Twice, on the other hand, we’ve known the villain. We’ve knew him as Twice when he first got introduced and then got to know him as Bubaigawara Jin. We got to know the person, not just the villain. And it was a shock to see that person die by the hands of what amounts to a completely stranger. 

Sorry I’ve gone overboard but I just freaking love this arc for the gut punch it’s serving. It’s quite a simple story writing technique if you strip it down to its bare bones. You give the character importance and it gives weight to their existence. And once you’ve got that weight added, it’s easy to toy around with it. It can make us cheer for them, hate them, empathize with them, and, as is in this case, pain us when they’re gone. 

3. Turning point

Like I said before, I agree this is a turning point, not so much for the story but for the stakes involved. We care about both sides, we’ve become attached. So in the end, no matter if more are to die and more to the point, who kills who if it comes down to it, we are gonna get the damn feels of a lifetime. I don’t doubt there’s gonna be losses from both sides. Losses we are gonna mourn like hell. And, if I’m being completely honest though I hope against hope that I’m wrong, I am preparing myself mentally to see Hawks die or be physically handicapped after this arc. If he isn’t, holy crap will that have been the most tense arc of the story for me. If he does, well, I think we’ll be as saddened by it too.

Well that’s as much as I’ve got. Hope it answered your question is a little bit :D I don’t usually write meta-commentary but it was fun to do this :3

[orionsangel86]

Do you still believe that Destiel will be canon? I've seen so much negativity about it lately and it's making me lose hope.

I got the above ask about a little while ago and I’ve hesitated to answer it for several reasons. 

Then yesterday, the boys announced the final season of the show next year, and last night I got this ask:

I’ve blocked this asshole obviously, but this nasty ask full of lies and hate has motivated me to answer the first.

First of all, let me be very VERY clear here:

No one has ever said Destiel is TOTALLY happening. Please get that right out of your heads. The only people claiming this bullshit are the ones who always attack meta writers and its the same old crap every time. Claiming we “gaslight” fans is a new one though. That word has really become in vogue lately hasn’t it?

No one is gaslighting anyone. I don’t get why people don’t understand this. All we do in this little meta community is talk among ourselves in the same way people have been talking about literature and media for centuries. It’s up to the reader to make their own assumptions. Our meta is not infallible. Every fan is responsible for their own expectations. Do not blame meta writers if you can’t manage yours. No one is claiming that they speak the ultimate FACTS. We only ever voice our opinions and interpretations because it is our passion to discuss and analyse and speculate. For anyone to hate on us for that just fills me with pity for those people tbh. I think you have to be a pretty pathetic person to send another person anonymous messages like the one above.

I won’t address the other bullshit in that crappy ask. It’s all just garbage spewed by a hater for the pure purpose to be hateful and try to get a rise out of me. But it has got me thinking about my current opinion of Destiel. Which is why I have finally decided to answer this ask.

Do I think it will be made textual? Right now I will admit that I am cautiously optimistic. The current narrative and direction of the story definitely has the potential for Destiel to be realised. Though I admit this opinion rests almost solely on knowing that Castiel’s deal with the Empty Entity will be a focus for season 15. If Cas never made that deal, I am not sure I would have the same faith. Having said that, there is still so much unspoken between Dean and Cas, and since this is now the endgame, I would like to think that the writers may choose to finally tie up some of these loose plot threads that have been gathering since season 8.

I live in the camp that believes that the creative team have intentionally been weaving Destiel into the narrative of the show for years with the hope that they can get a green light from the execs to bring it textual at some point. Destiel has got far too close to the surface level line for anyone to dare claim Destiel shippers are “delusional” now, even the antis stopped saying that in season 12 and instead cried “pandering” of the writing team. I still maintain my view that they crossed a line in Season 12 and in what I like to call the “season 12/13 escalation” which pushed Destiel to one of the main story plot lines and really drummed home just how much Dean and Cas mean to each other. They can’t ever now claim the fans imagined it after that. Too many people saw the escalation as romantic for them to do that.

So my honest opinion is that they must follow through on their intentions. Its the only way the show will rid itself of that horrible accusation of queerbaiting. Technically it is completely unfair to accuse any story of queerbaiting whilst that story is still being told. Only once the story concludes should we be assessing it and deciding whether to paint it with that brush. 

Yet SPN is a strange beast in that there are several factors to consider even then. I have faith and a lot of respect for the writing team, several of whom are LGBTQ+ people themselves. I just don’t believe that Dabb, Yokey, or Bobo would let us down here. They certainly aren’t intentionally queerbaiting us. I believe they are trying to tell this story whilst fighting tooth and nail behind the scenes with the CW suits to get Destiel approved. I also believe that now we have a solid end date in sight they will fight even harder for it, with the argument that they have nothing to lose by bringing Destiel to text and everything to gain (save for maybe the show being blacklisted in a couple of homophobic countries). Not bringing Destiel to text would actually be a far worse business decision at this point. Hopefully the suits are smart enough to agree to this - they should be, especially if they don’t want to appear completely hypocritical in light of their recent Dare to Defy campaign. 

So if it doesn’t happen I certainly WILL be angry, upset, and furious, and I will drag the CW through the mud all over social media and personally write scathing letters to all media and entertainment outlets I can get hold of to bring attention to how hypocritical they are - but what I won’t be doing is accusing Dabb & Co of queerbaiting, because I just don’t think that is what they are doing.

I consider it more like a Wayward Sisters situation. The writing team want it as much as we do, but the real decision lies with the suits. They’ll be the ones to blame. 

There is of course still the chance that we could get an ambiguous ending - one that is easily interpreted as Destiel but not obvious enough for the most stringent of homophobes to pick up on. I have very mixed feelings about this, but if I’m being realistic, this is probably the likeliest option. This show has always tried to cater to its entire audience, even though it knows that it’s audience has drastically different views on how it should end. An ending that attempts to cater to all, even if the story suffers for it, is still a very large possibility. As much as I like to believe that Dabb doesn’t give a shit about people bitching on Twitter, we have to be realistic and admit that Dabb doesn’t have all the power behind the scenes. Bob Singer and Mark Pedowitz are likely big influencers in how the story will end, and I can’t say I have much faith in either of them to actually “go where the story takes them”.

Hearing this final season announcement, I have a suspicion that the boys and the writing team already knew since at least when episode 300 was being scripted - simply because several things said in the show recently are now looking rather suspicious. John’s speech in episode 300 and Cas’s speech in 14x14 are both beautifully heartfelt statements about loss and enjoying the time we have with those we love. It all suddenly hits very close to home. 

So if we go by this theory, then I expect the next few episodes to be very interesting in terms of what they may reveal for the road to endgame - as this is very much the road we are now on, wherever it may lead. Misha calling the finale “epic” is something else I am heavily side eyeing. If Destiel does get a green light, then I expect we will start to see the signs of this - if not in the coming episodes, then in early season 15. We should see another escalation similar to what we saw in s12/13. Keep an eye out for these potential signs, and if they don’t appear, then we need to prepare ourselves for the worst, and resign ourselves to the fact that the suits probably got scared.

But remember, this is all just my opinion. Take authority over your own expectations, as it is impossible for me to make promises over things I do not know. Whether you have hope or not, you have to deal with it however you choose. Just... don’t be like that anon. Never be like that.

[lyraeon]

Hey Lyra...i've got a weird question, how did you figure you you where poly?

god it’s been so long I’m not sure I could really pinpoint it anymore

Also this got REALLY long so short version first:

-got introduced to concept by fanfiction -had always had a hard time getting over old crushes even years later -never got jealous about partner talking to other people -never felt like crushing on others was using up any of my love for my partner -I JUST LOVE EVERYONE OK

And the long version which gets really personal at times:

I do know I kept hearing phrases like, “if you really loved them you wouldn’t feel anything for anyone else”

but thing is that every one of my relationships, I’d already fallen in love with the next person I wound up with before the previous relationship broke up. even if things were fine, even if I still definitely loved them. my first two major relationships, there was a good 10 months where I was already in love with the second guy but still very much in love with the first. I consciously avoided the second guy because I didn’t want to cheat, I even blocked him for a while when he hinted he liked me. I’m *still* friends with the first guy, and it’s literally 17 years later at this stage, and I would argue I still have some degree of feelings for him and it’s only a lack of familiarity between us stopping me from calling it love. I only left him for the second guy because some stuff got messed up in our lives that meant we barely interacted for a few months and I decided that since the second guy had time for me and he didn’t, I should leave one for the other.

I was like 16 or 17 at that point.

Note that I also was having a lot of emotions for other people at this point too, that I later realized were crushes but was blind to that fact at that point because lmao I thought I was straight still hahahaha crap.

when I was about 19, I got really hard into Naruto fanfic. I mean like I probably was before that, but man. And I discovered the fanart and fanfic of someone named Askerian (who I’ve crossed paths with numerous times in other fandoms since then and shes’s still amazing).

A lot of what she wrote was polyshipping.

Mostly Naruto/Sasuke/Sakura OT3 stuff. and just like. This concept of everyone all together? for me, who’d always hated the love triangle dynamic (partially cuz she tended to pick the results canon didn’t, but still) and whose entire life is one big Found Family storyline and who still knew she was vaguely in love with her ex and kind of in love with her best friend and like, was starting to worry maybe she didn’t actually understand what love was and maybe I didn’t actually love anyone like maybe that’s what was going on there because normal people were so fiercely jealous of their partners and so on?

Yeah, polyshipping fic felt like the most wonderful fantasy. It was just. absolutely glorious to see.

I realized I was pansexual around that point too. Broke the news to my boyfriend (who I was, by then, engaged to). He was basically oh cool we can talk about how hot chicks are together then, haha.

Like six months later I was very, very aware I had a huge crush on a girl from an RP group I was in. absolutely smitten. I explained the situation to my boyfriend. “hey, listen, since I’ve realized I’m bi I kind of want to try being with a girl. we’re engaged, I promise I’m not going anywhere, but I think I might be polyamorous, like, I think my brain wants me to be with both a guy and a girl if that makes sense? can I try?”

Gross oversimplification, I know. it was like 2007, those were the livejournal days, I didn’t know nonbinary people existed, I was confused as to what any of my emotions were, I’m not even sure I knew the word polyamorous at that point, it was a mess.

He said no. He tried to get me to stop talking to the girl altogether. We stopped talking out of character and only kept RPing.

like six months later he told me if I was still thinking about it then yes. I asked her out immediately. she was a few years older than me and ran in circles that had polycules so it was nbd to her. She dated me gladly, said she’d been trying to figure out if she was bi anyway.

(spoiler alert, she wasn’t, and that’s ultimately why we broke up the second time. the first time was because my boyfriend got mad after a few months that I hadn’t ‘gotten it out of my system yet’ and that the relationship was actually emotional, not just sexual, so I left her to be with just him, which later lead to a super messy breakup and then to me trying to make things work with her again).

...complicated.

to this day I’m a mess of emotions. Hilariously, homestuck’s helped me sort some of it out. Because a long time ago, when explaining to my now-partner of 9 years that I knew I was still in love with my best friend even though he’s gay and we weren’t ever gonna be together, I tried to explain that everyone I hold hands with, I feel it in a different place in my soul. So while he felt warm and wide and like a hug around my shoulders, and his hand feels safe and secure, my old bestie feels light and airy in my chest and his hand feels like breathing in menthol, or like lightning. two different kinds of love. 

my understandings of things now tell me that I was pale as fuck for my bestie more than anything, but even now the lines aren’t always clear. I’m demiromantic (and/or quiromantic, who the hell knows) so I don’t crush from a distance. Instead I wind up in bonds with people anyway, and they’ll do something one day and I’ll go oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck not them too whyyyyyyyyy and spend a month frantically ignoring it and in a lot of cases it’ll fade away quickly because it’ll have just been my heart going “I trust this person” and taking a bit to figure out where they belonged. a smaller percentage though, I’m stuck. the emotion’s there. it might be red or pale or even in some cases pitch but it’s still tumbling around in my brain and I’m attached and I don’t want to let people out of my life again.

I only have the one partner right now, my hubby. I have two, maybe three “moirails”, people I’m very bonded to but it’s nothing sexual or physical. and I’ve had just plain best friends so I know it’s a different feeling. But there are people I’ve only not asked out because I respect my hubby’s wishes to be exclusive. Some I’ve even pushed away because there was too much spark there and I didn’t trust myself to not hit a point where I just had to try and talk him into it. I don’t want to push him out of his comfort zone; I love him too much, and it’s not worth risking my one sure thing when most people out there wouldn’t be accepting of a polyamorous situation anyway. In other words, is it possible I’d be happier with more than one partner? and hell, I lowkey think my hubby might be happier that way too because I can be a bit much for him so it might be better for him to have my attention split over mulitiple people. but I respect him too much and love him too much to want to risk our current pretty good, sure thing happiness for a less certain potentially better happiness, especially cuz “losing him” is a potential outcome and that’s nooooot one I’m okay with.

...which got kind of ranty and personal but Y’KNOW

It’s the long version lol.

[amaranthine-reveries]

RP Info (+ My OC's)

Hi there!

I've never really made an RP blog before and I'm usually too anxious to reach out and initiate, but I'd figured I'll go ahead and make a page for some of my OC's. Once I have more time, I'll like redo this and make a fancier one/update. I'm more than willing to give anyone more details on a character if they want to shoot me a message! I also have no problem making up new OC's, but I'll only run characters I'm interested in.

Canon characters are going to be on a situational basis. Please ask, don't assume.

Format for information on OC's will depend on fandom.

My current fandoms are: Witcher, Red Dead Redemption, Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Dishonored, Arcane (season 1 only, haven't caught up yet), Wicked, ask me about other fandoms.

Do's: Mature, explicit, gore, dark themes, pairings, angst, fluff, cursing, AU's, OC's, canon characters

Don't's: Incest, underage, certain kinks, racism, homophobia, transphobia, likely more to be added later.

My OC's under the cut.

Red Dead Redemption:

Rosemary "Rose" Gillis

Age: 26

Height: 5'4

Build: Slender

Hair Color: Loose, black waves

Eye Color: Gray

Personality: She's head-stong, mouthy, and got a temper on her. With her father being verbally abusive, she has trouble with authority figures and is very protective of those she cares for. Often putting herself in his path if Jamie is the object of his derision. She is self conscious, but hides it behind a mien of independence. Her trust is hard won.

She is a very silly drunk and terrified of horses.

Backstory: Rose is the middle child in the Gillis family. There is some gossip that claims she's not legitimate, though her mother's infidelity has never been proven. There's enough doubt, though, that she is her father's crowning shame; spurning those few suitors she has and denying anyone who attempts to court her. She cares greatly for Jamie, but has a tenuous relationship with Mary.

She remembers the Van der Lindes. Someone from the gang taught her how to handle a gun and she took to it easily. Her father blames them for her lack of feminine grace and homely skills. Rose has great penmanship, can sing, play a bit of piano, but don't ask her to embroider or even sew. Instead, she continued to improve her sharpshooting and rough language.

She and her father argue often since Mary got married. She's continued to stand up to him and his deplorable behavior. She's had enough.

Wilhelmina Allen (Current Alias is Mina Winters)

Age: 28

Height: 5'5

Build: Average

Hair color: Long, golden blond hair

Eye color: Honey brown eyes

Personality: Living in a rough household gave her spine early on. Mina won't take crap from anyone and that means anyone. Words are her weapon and she wields them mercilessly; whether that means against a quarry or to stand up to someone else doesn't matter.

This means she is very blunt, but, if she did lie, no one would really be able to tell the difference. Mina has practiced often to make sure she has no tells when lying, she can cry at the drop of a hat, and has an impenetrable poker face.

Just, don't rely on just her in a shootout. She can shoot, she has before, but there's a reason she's more of a spy. Give her something like a shotgun in case anyone gets too close and hope you're on the other side of her.

Very self-conscious about her reading and writing (since she learned late in life).

Backstory: Mina was born to a rough family: her father was a dead beat and her mother was starting to turn to drugs. After her father ran off to gallivant with a younger woman and left Mrs. Allen to raise four children alone. With little to no income coming in, Mina went out to the streets to beg and steal.

She started getting very good at small sleight of hand and especially good at lying. It was sufficient enough to keep the Allen children from starving. Everyone gets caught at some point; Mina swindled the wrong person. She'd gone after a Pinkerton. Though she expected to be arrested or hung, she was giving a surprising alternative: employment.

The Pinkertons mainly use her for her charm. She's been a spy for them on more than one occasion and she's never betrayed them once.

Witcher:

Neysa (knee-sah) Helvig

Nicknames: Ysa, Nea, Sea Fox

Race: Human

Age: 58 (looks mid 20's)

Height: 5'6

Build: Sleight

Hair color: Dark auburn

Eye color: silvery-gray that changes colors based on her mood

Languages: Common, Skellige Jargon, Elder Speech, and bits and pieces of other languages from around the continent

Personality: Neysa is rather laid-back and a tad mischievous. Growing up in Skellige, she isn't easily intimidated nor will she turn away from a brawl. She is far from helpless: having magic as well as a range of survival skills that means she's almost never rendered vulnerable.

She has a soft spot for children and the less fortunate. Neysa loves singing and will share what she's heard from her travels. Being so capable, it is difficult for her to ask for help.

Background: Born to a Skelliger shield-maiden and a sailor, Neysa was never going to grow up a maid in need of saving. From a young age, her mother taught her and her siblings (of which there are seven in total) the art of fighting while she spent days on the seas with her father. Once her magic made itself known, she went to the druids of her clan to learn for a time.

She's would serve as her clan's druid for a time until she grew tired of the life and became a pirate. There she used her magic to affect the weather and the seas themselves. There she'd stayed until a raid went very wrong and her crew found themselves in the hands of slavers.

Only a storm - one she did not call herself - caused a shipwreck that freed her. The slavers left her handicapped and it is clear that not all died in the wreck. Some of her crew still missing, and her own problem to solve, Neysa travels the Continent looking for answers.

[himbowelsh]

I've just read your dancing Babe and it's all kinds of perfect and I'm not ready to let go of dancing troupe. Soo prompt for Webgott: Wedding in Lieb's family. Web is his +1. Lieb never seen Web "normal" dancing before. Only the drunk flailing. He expects Web to be kinda awkward and stiff, because Web is kinda awkward. Only to be totally surprised, because Web is amazing dancer and he dances hell out of all Joe's sisters, they all love him and he kills dance floor with Joe's Ma, she's a pro.

Anonymous asked: I cannot not request prompt or headcanon for Webgott and “Liebgott has a gaggle of sisters who terrorize him” when Web meets Lieb’s family. He sees Lieb’s sisters teasing and riling their baby bro and he finally gets it. That’s where he got his sharp wit and his fighty personality.

AN: well, come on, I’ve gotta combine these two, these prompts are perfect for each other!

“Oh my goodness, you’re adorable.”

The very tall, very buxom woman says this two seconds before squeezing David to her chest like some durable plush toy. The next thing David knows he’s struggling to breathe past the crush of breasts, and manicured hands have a vice grip on his shoulder blades. It would be a lot more pleasant were he not: a) gay, and b) two seconds away from being smothered by his boyfriend’s sister.

“Jesus, Sarah, lighten up! You trying to kill him or something?”

Just as quickly as he was pulled forward, David is tugged back into the safety of Joe’s arms. He heaves a lungful of air as Joe pats him down, as if he’s worried his older sister has transferred something contagious to him. Joe is scowling; this isn’t abnormal. He’s been scowling all day long, from the moment they set out on the road to when they pulled in the driveway of Joe’s mother’s cute suburban home.

This is not Joe’s childhood house. As soon as her last kid moved out, Judith Liebgott moved out, bought a one-bedroom near the beach, got herself a convertible, a lapdog, and a rich boyfriend fifteen years her junior. David’s traditional family upbringing is scandalized; the rest of him admires Mrs. Liebgott’s moxie.

So he can understand who Joe wouldn’t be so happy to be attending his own mother’s wedding, but he at least could try to act like it around his family. From what David’s heard of Joe’s sisters, they’re all a very close-knit bunch. They’re bound to notice something’s wrong with their little brother in a second.

Sarah Liebgott has her brother’s smirk – thin, sharp, and dangerous. “Aww, Joe, I’m just teasing. He’s adorable. You weren’t lying when you said he looks like a model.”

“You said that?”

“No!” Joe retorts, cheeks flaring. It’s the most adorable thing David has ever seen.

“Aww, Joey, don’t be shy!” An equally tall women with a thick brunette ponytail comes up and throws an arm around Joe’s shoulders, pulling him against her. Behind her, two other Liebgott sisters come striding up, wearing matching sadistic grins. David isn’t sure what’s more amazing; the realization that Joe is the shortest of his siblings or the fact that his older sisters all seem to share his wicked sense of humor. 

“Look at you!” exclaims one of his sisters as she pinches his ribs. “You look even skinner than before! Don’t you eat?”

“Yeah, probably all crap. You know how his diet works. You still eat poptarts raw, bro?”

“Mom is going to kill you when she sees you, Jo-Jo! You look like you haven’t slept in weeks!”

“You look like a zombie.”

“It’s an improvement, to be honest.”

Joe hisses, bristling like a disgruntled cat under his sisters’ intrusive comments and touches. Crossing his arms, David watches the chaos unfold, unable to keep a smile off his face. He feels like he’s discovering an entire missing chunk to the puzzle that is his boyfriend. So this is where Joe got his firey nature from; growing up in a family like this, he needed thick skin.

“Jesus, Amy, stop with the hair!” Joe whines, twisting out of his sisters’ grips. “Becky, come on, get out of here – hey, Sarah, knock it off!”

Oh, this is going to be the best trip ever.

The actual wedding takes place in a week; the days leading up to it are jammed with preparations, planning, and organization. Some people, like Joe’s oldest sister Sarah, thrive in this environment. Others – like Joe himself – chafe under the closely-packed schedule that leaves him with limited room to breathe.He rebels in whatever ways he can, whether it’s picking petty arguments with his sisters over dinner or sneaking off when the rest of the family is busy. He winds up sneaking off a lot – usually he takes David with him.“If the two of you have sex in one more dressing room, we’re leaving you in the store,” Joe’s mother announces on their way home from tuxedo rentals. David’s cheeks flush a brilliant red that makes him look a bit like a cherry. In the rearview mirror, Mrs. Liebgott shoots them both a crimson-lipped smirk.“I don’t know if you think you’re subtle, honey, but your shirt is on backwards. Fix your hair, too.”“You have a scratch right –”  Joe’s third sister, long-haired Amy, drags out the vowel as she reaches over to tap David’s exposed collarbone. “Here. Joe, you’re a monster.”“I’ve seen what you do to your boyfriends. You’re lucky there’s ever anything left of ‘em.”“If they die, they die happily,” Amy sniffs, turning her attention back to her phone. “He looks uncomfortable. What, did you forget the aftercare?”David shifts in his seat, closing his eyes as he prays for death. Next to him, Joe aims a kick at his sister’s shin which quickly turns into an all-out fight, complete with screaming, slapping, and David caught in the middle.Mrs. Liebgott continues to drive on like there’s no problem. In the passenger’s seat, Joe’s second sister Rebecca turns up the radio to drown out the chaos.

By the time the wedding finally comes, it couldn’t be more welcome.

That’s coming from Joe, who wasn’t thrilled about this whole thing in the first place. Who could blame him? His mom is marrying a goddamn rich kid barely out of his frat boy days, who’s better suited to riding sports cars and living off his daddy’s savings. Bentley (his name is goddamn Bentley) is pretty, unassertive, and stupid-in-love with Joe’s mom. If that last point wasn’t so obvious, Joe would be against this union altogether.As it stands, he won’t begrudge his mother her happiness. She’s earned it, spending a lifetime raising four nightmares.A hell of a lot of stuff goes on at a Jewish wedding, but dancing is always one of the highlights of the night. Joe does his best to abstain from any of the traditional dances (it brings back bad memories of his Hebrew school days). To his surprise, however, his boyfriend doesn’t follow his example.

He’ll admit that he’s never seen Webster dance before. Sure, he’s seen him dance -- at various parties, half-drunk out of his mind, free of inhibition and coordination. Most of those moments involved Joe reeling his boyfriend back from doing anything more embarrassing; he could handle a bit of drunk grinding if it kept Web from canon-balling into the pool from the roof.

So he’s seen Web dance, but he’s never seen him dance. Joe’s not sure what he expected, but this... isn’t it.

Webster does a complicated twist, swinging Amy under his arms. Joe’s sister shrieks out a laugh, hair flying free behind her as she twirls with her partner. Once she’s back in Webster’s arms, he lifts her off her feet and twirls her across the floor as if she weighs no more than a ragdoll.

Joe watches from the sidelines, arms crossed. He’s not glaring -- he sure as hell isn’t glaring, because being jealous of his boyfriend and his sister would be ridiculous -- but he’s not please that Web is showing Amy the time of her life. If Webster should be sweeping anyone off their feet, it’s him -- and Joe never imagined that thought would pass through his head.

He’s able to insist he’s not jealous right up until his second sister, Becky, is in Web’s arms. Becky is an athlete, and she’s got the moves to match; but Web keeps up with her step for step, moving to the rolicking beat with a fluidity that makes Joe feel a bit warm. He can’t help fixating on the brightness of Web’s smile, the light sheen of sweat across his brow, the sway of his hips in those tight tight pants...

He downs another glass of champagne and turns away until the song ends.

It doesn’t end there. Next up is Sarah, with her mop of curls, and her flirting that isn’t at all subtle. She’s like that with everyone, but Joe’s sure he’s going to storm out onto the floor and throttle his sister right then and there. It’s a slower song, and very close. Her hand lingers on Web’s chest, and his grip on her hip looks too firm, too self-assured. Joe swallows down the lump of jealousy building in his throat. Forcing himself to breathe is a challenge, but he somehow manages. Sarah is shameless about a lot, but she wouldn’t try anything with Joe’s boyfriend -- Web wouldn’t let her anyhow. That doesn’t mean Joe’s happy about it.

By the time Sarah breezes off -- leaving a bright red lip print on Web’s cheek, because of course -- Joe is more than ready to step in. He catches Web’s eyes from across the floor, and his boyfriend offers him a bright smile. Joe starts to move. Before he can reach him, however, another set of hands grab Webster and sweep him into the next dance.

Joe swallows back the curse on his lips when he realizes Web is dancing with the bride. Of course his mom would want a crack at Web -- he’s the best dancer here. She used to be a Rockette, for christ’s sake; it he can keep up with her, he can keep up with anyone.

Web’s damn good, even up against the formidable partner that is Joe’s mother. She’s dancing in a wedding dress and heels, so he’s able to keep up with her. The pair still outshines every other couple on the floor by miles. Web spins, twirls, and dips with a grace that draws every eye in the room to them, and Joe’s mother matches him step-to-step. They’re a dazzling sight; even Joe can’t look away, though he’s sure his fixation is more the result of Webster’s moves than his mother’s skill.

By the time the song ends, they’re both flush-faced and grinning. Joe’s mother cups Web’s chin in her hand and murmurs something, too low for Joe to hear. Both their gazes drift towards him; he goes still, realizing they’re talking about him. His mother winks before breezing off (probably back to fuckin’ Bentley) and Webster is left alone.

He’s panting heavily, and looks ready to drop -- but if he can dance like that, he can manage one last slow song. As the first strains of a violin melody pick up, Joe finally reaches his boyfriend, and catches Webster in his arms before he can protest.

“Can I have this dance?” he murmurs in Webster’s ear.

His boyfriend looks up at him and grins bright enough to rival the moon. “I’ve been waiting all night.”